Planning the Ceremony

Bethel Rock

P L A N N I N G T H E CEREMONY

Planning the party is the most fun and takes the most time, but don’t wait until the last moment to plan the ceremony. When you’re not stressing over floral arrangements or frosting flavors, take the time to sched- ule a time to sort out your ceremony. Here’s everything you need to know.

The first order of business is to decide whether you want a religious or secular ceremony. There is no right or wrong answer, and one is not necessarily easier than the other. As with all decisions you have to make when planning your wedding, this is your day and you should get married in an environment that suits you both.

If you and your fiancé are considering a religious ceremony, remember that some religious services require a specific location, like a church, temple, or mosque. However, some religious officiants will be glad to go to an untraditional location. Consult with the officiants you are considering before you make final decisions to avoid any uncomfortable situations. Also, remember that you may be required to be a member of a specific religious institution if you want to be married on their property.

A civil ceremony is one that is still legal, but the exact requirements you need to meet vary from state to state, and even from county to county. Having a civil ceremony means that you’re free to be more Wcreative with the elements you want to add or remove, or to have a destination wedding or an elopement. That’s not to say that you couldn’t make a religious ceremony work for all of those, but it will be much simpler to create an untraditional wedding with a civil ceremony.

When it comes to who will be marrying you, you’ll need to check out the legal requirements for your area once again. If you have any questions, you can always contact the county clerk’s office in the city where you will be having the ceremony to find an officiant that will fit your needs. Keep in mind that if you want to be married by a close friend or family member, they’ll need to be ordained first. After you’ve found your officiant, follow up about paperwork, fees, or counselling that may be required before you can be considered legally married.

Hilo Sisters Macramé

VOWS

If you and your fiancé decide to write personal vows, we recommend setting some guidelines before you begin writing. Maybe limit them to 30 seconds or a minute, or say that you’re both going to tell a story about your life as a couple. Begin by collecting inspiration from old texts or love letters, other weddings, books, or movies and documenting them somewhere. About a month before your wedding, compile your gathered thoughts into a draft. Remember that this is just your first attempt, so it’s fine if it’s a little choppy or rambling. Wait a couple of days, then come back to edit. Read it aloud and make sure it sounds like you, because you’re the one getting married.

As your wedding day nears, go back and review your vows periodically. Read and re-read for clarity, and work in additional thoughts as they come to you. By taking the time to write your vows over the weeks leading up to your wedding and not waiting until the last minute, you will not only be confident in your words, but you will know that you put your best self into them.

CEREMONY ORDER

The basic order of events can be applied to almost any ceremony, but you may want to add or take away any elements that don’t fit your wedding vision. We recommend including your officiant in the planning of your ceremony, as they will know more about what is practical.

Prelude: It is customary to have music play as your guests begin to arrive for the ceremony.

Processional: This is a fancy word for special guests and the wedding party entering the church to take their place. This usually concludes with the entrance of the bride.

Greeting: The wedding officiant will usually say a few words to welcome your guests, remind them to turn off their cell phones, and thank them for coming.

Address or Homily: This is the time for your officiant to share personal details about you and your fiancé, or for a sermon if you’re having a church wedding.

Declaration of Intent: This is the only legally required aspect of the ceremony. The officiant will ask you to take your fiancé as your legally wedded partner, and you will answer with “I do”, or “I will”, or something to that effect.

Unity Ritual: If you want to include a special ceremony signify your bond, this is a good time to do so. You could also do this after exchanging rings, if that would suit your vision.

Exchanging of the Vows: This is where you recite your personal vows, or repeat after the officiant using traditional wording.

Exchanging of the Rings: These vows are different than the above vows, but are usually very short and done “repeat-after-me” style.

Closing Remarks and Declaration: The officiant may offer a blessing, a benediction, or piece of advice before declaring that you’re married and announcing the kiss.

Recessional: The opposite of the processional, this is a fancy word for everybody leaves the church, and heads to the party!

YOU CAN’T LEGALLY GET MARRIED WITHOUT A LICENSE

While planning your wedding can be fun with things like cake tastings, dance lessons and finding the perfect entertainment, there are some strings attached to tying the knot Understanding the ins and outs getting your marriage license is just as important as picking out linens or finding the perfect dress.

Marriage licenses must be obtained from the county clerk’s office and presented to your officiant prior to the beginning of your wedding ceremony. Following the ceremony, the officiant fills out the license, and asks the witnesses, usually the maid of honor and best man, to sign it. Some officiants will file the license for you at the courthouse, or you will have to do it yourself. Once the license is filed and processed, you will receive your marriage certificate. GRAYSON COUNTY, TEXAS 100 W Houston, Suite 17, Sherman (903) 813-4283 COOKE COUNTY, TEXAS 216 West Pecan Street, Gainesville (940) 668-5420 FANNIN COUNTY, TEXAS 800 E. 2nd Street, Bonham (903) 583-7486 LAMAR COUNTY, TEXAS 119 North Main, Paris (903) 737-2420 WICHITA COUNTY, TEXAS 900 7th St, Room 250, Wichita Falls (940) 766-8100 The cost, requirements, and validity varies between Oklahoma and Texas, but you don’t have to be a resident of either state to get married there. Be sure to research the state’s marriage license requirements where you will be getting married so that you understand the time-lines and associated costs.

photo by Cromer & Co BRYAN COUNTY, OKLAHOMA 402 W Evergreen St #C1, Durant (580) 924-1446

CARTER COUNTY, OKLAHOMA 20 B St SW #203, Ardmore (580) 223-5253

JOHNSTON COUNTY, OKLAHOMA 403 W Main St #101, Tishomingo (580) 371-3184

LOVE COUNTY, OKLAHOMA 405 West Main, #203, Marietta (580) 276-3059

MARSHALL COUNTY, OKLAHOMA 219 Plaza, Madill (580) 795-3220