Alexander Weinstein The Apocalypse Tales: Sammy Makes An Arrest

don't take no shit. He starts prodding and it turns out the guy doesn't really have custody of the kid. Claims his ex-wife has custody and he's got "visitation rights." Well the kid's clean. We drew two vials on him and they turned up safe. So we give the kid a Ralphie Rabbit travel kit and send him back on the next plane to his mom in Minneapolis. Meanwhile, we're still prodding the dad, and it comes out the guy's heading to New York City. He says, he and his son "never been there before." So Jim asks, "What were you planning on doing there?" and he says, "Go to Empire State and Statue of Liberty." Jim turns to me and gives me a look that reads, "We got a situation on our hands." So we have to taze him and I go call Federal.

You ever see those guys from Federal come in? Makes you realize the machines we're using are kindergarten toys. They hook up his temples and teeth and they sure as shit don't spare the juice. Even I'm thinking, "Jeez, you're gonna turn this guy into a McScramble." Seriously, call me a wimp, but I'm feeling mercy for the guy. But the guy from Federal sure isn't feeling any mercy. He gets right up in his face and screams, "You wanna see your son again? You wanna watch him get prodded?" and they give him the juice till finally the guy's crying and says he'll confess. He signs the form, gives up right to trial, admits to everything, and that's it, he's on his way to Guam. Makes you realize just how dangerous air travel is nowadays. I mean, Jesus, I might've helped prevent another Chicago.

The Kiss

Laura Goins

We put the chopped onions in my big red pot, Listened together as they hissed creamy yellow. I, waiting, leaned limp against the sink. You stood, the tall question in my doorway. We kept one eye each firmly on the sauce. We each of us knew how quickly it could burn.

waiting room

Laura Goins

Sudoku puzzles, hamster wheels. your boss, he wanted so badly to be there right up there with the faceless streams of food-women anonymous baskets of animal crackers smiling, with Aunt Jean so concernedtoo thin to play that part, to sit hungry in stiff blue chairs, even five loaves and two fishes nowhere to be found. five-minute dives behind the doorway into the glass acid steel tube rooms, trying to stroke you, limp and bloated, trying to link that fat blue fish to what I knew, still know, to be your arm-

bread dough Saturday mornings.