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The Phoenix
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April 2009
Bye bye! ALEXIS RATZ Editor-in-Chief
Editor-in-Chief: Alexis Ratz ubcophoenixeditorinchief@gmail.com
Business Manager: Heather Stack ubcophoenixbusinessmanager@gmailcom
News Editor: Ana Weiss ubcophoenixnewseditor@gmail.com Features Editor: Andrew Bates ubcophoenixfeatureseditor@gmail.com
Well, we did it. We completed the 20th volume of The Phoenix. And what a year it was! Thank you, all of you, who took the time to contribute, whether through visual art, written submissions, or even hate mail. It has been one of the best years for student contributions in Phoenix history (at least as far back as any of us can recall), which tells us we’re doing something right. If you’re bored, we aren’t doing our jobs. Not perfect, no sir. A few things have certainly slipped through the cracks this year. On that note, we’d like to thank Colin Mather for his feedback and for his journalistic integrity.
Arts Editor: Aidan Whiteley ubcophoenixartseditor@gmail.com
Sports & Leisure Editor: Dan Pitura ubcophoenixsportseditor@gmail.com
Issues & Activism Editor: Jay Butula ubcophoenixactivismeditor@gmail.com
Copy Editor: Aidan Ranney ubcophoenixcopyeditor@gmail.com Cover design by Heather Stack To advertise withthe Phoenix: ubcophoenixbusinessmanager@gmailcom
But we’ve also made some really positive changes, like bringing in our Issues & Activism section. If the students are apathetic, we’re all screwed, right? So get involved. The captain of next year’s Phoenix ship will be Dan Pitura, who is still looking for a News Editor, Sports Editor, Business Manager, and for anyone else with fresh ideas they’d like to explore in print. The more voices the better, so use yours.
Recently, Phoenix articles involving the UBC-O Senate Elections named a number of people that had made complaints about the secrecy in the senate elections. These people were named based on a list of complainants given to the Phoenix by UBC’s Triennial Returning Oficer, Chris Eaton. The Phoenix now understands that this list, which appeared in issues 11 and 12, was derived from a selection of electionsrelated e-mails rather than formal complaints. Geoff Ingram did not submit a formal complaint. Nicole Strachan, whose name was mis-spelled in the original article, had e-mailed Eaton to complain that her name had appeared on the ballots despite the fact that she had dropped out of the race, not in connection to any concerns about secrecy or voters lists. The Phoenix regrets this error and apologizes for any inconvenience it may have caused.
To get involved, send your inquiry to ubcophoenixeditorinchief@gmail.com (remember, “Phoenix” is O before E). In parting, and to quote a legend, You stay classy, UBC-O.
The Phoenix can be found in room SSC 013A of the UBC Okanagan campus. Please address mail to the editor of choice at: The Phoenix Newspaper Room SSC 013A 3333 University Way Kelowna, B.C. Canada V1V 1V7
Phone: (250) 807-9296 Fax: (250) 807-8431 ubcophoenixeditorinchief@gmail.com
The Phoenix is the UBC-O students’ free press. Editorial content is separate from the Student’s Governing Body (UBCSUO) and from the institution at large. The editorial staff encourages everyone to submit material to the Phoenix but reserves the right to withdraw submissions from publication for any reason. “Any reason” could be material deemed to be sexist, racist, homophobic, or of poor taste or quality. The Phoenix will not publish materials which condone, promote, or express actions which are illegal under current laws. This does not include articles which provide an in-depth examination of both sides of a controversial subject (e.g. legalising marijuana). We welcome letters: Letters should be typed, doublespaced, under 300 words, and either left with or mailed to the Phoenix office. Your name and phone number must be included. Anonymity may be granted at the discretion of the editorial staff of the Phoenix. Electronic Submissions: Submissions on disk should include a hard copy. We ask that you save contributions on disk in “Text Only” or “RTF” formats, or attach documents to an email.
The Phoenix is published, in part by: The University of British Columbia Students’ Union Okanagan (UBCSUO) and is an active member of the Canadian University Press
s t n e t n o C 3
Issues & Activism A month of action
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Features Aramark cont’d
Sports & Leisure Men inish gold, Spring Skiiing, Bird Watching
Features Energy drinks
Arts & Culture Azeda Booth & Kingdom Cloud, Heroes, & more
Opinions Onpen names, Onions, Good sex and wrong sex.
OCSU Munchie!!
UBCSUO Year in review
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www.cup.ca
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www.ubcsuo.ca
News UBC-O suspends parking ines, OC dodges tuition hike, UBC-O celebrates World Water Day
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News
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UBC suspends parking ines due to lawsuit But don’t amass a lot of tickets, or you might get towed ANDREW BATES Features Editor
placing the Boot on the vehicle, the vehicle will just be towed away, offsite.”
ubcophoenixfeatureseditor@gmail.com
Are you one of the 3,200 people who purchased a parking pass? If you are having a problem inding a place to park in one of UBC-O’s roughly 1,800 parking spots, you need to hear this: In the wake of a B.C. Supreme Court judgement about UBC’s right to charge parking ines, the university will stop charging money for infractions. However, they will still tow people who accumulate a lot of tickets. The lack of an option to make tickets to go away seems unfair, according to Scott Denis, a 2nd-year Engineering student. “Sometimes, you don’t really have the option to park legally, because there’s no parking spots,” he told the Phoenix. UBC-O sells about 1,400 more tickets than there are usually places to park. “There’s not much space... sometimes you see people lined up all along the sides and some days they don’t give them tickets because [they] know there’s a problem.” The Supreme Court decision was released on March 31st in a class-action lawsuit whose trial had started in September of last year. It ruled that UBC-V had illegally collected parking ines between 1990 and 2005. No one is quite sure how this might affect UBC Okanagan drivers. This has caused UBC Okanagan to reevaluate parking on both of their campuses, and brings in a new temporary parking policy. “If someone parks illegally, we will write them a warning violation, and place it just like you would a parking ticket,” Gary Appleton, parking security manger, told the Phoenix. “If they’re repeat offenders, instead of placing multiple ines or
The class-action suit was brought about by Daniel Barbour, a chartered attendant from Vancouver who had his vehicle towed from campus for unpaid tickets while attending a dentist’s appointment. “The case was that I commenced an action against UBC to recover ines that they had virtually extorted from me by towing my car, and claimed that I had unpaid parking tickets,” he told the Phoenix. “The argument was that UBC did not have the authority to ine people or to tow people for past moneys owing. The judge has agreed with that position, and has ordered that UBC divest itself of the ines and towing money they have received.” Initially, the university argued that the City of Vancouver had given them the power to issue ines in the same way a municipality does. The night before the trial, it began instead falling back on the idea that almost anyone who parked at UBC-V entered into an implicit contract to park legally. However, the judge ruled that they did not have the ability to enter into those kinds of contracts. However, that decision does not stop UBC from regulating parking, according to Scott Macrae, Executive Director of UBC Public Affairs. “The university has the right to regulate parking, to charge for parking, and the right to tow people for parking regulations,” Macrae told the Phoenix. Although UBC does not have the ability to tow based on outstanding unpaid tickets, that doesn’t mean you cannot be towed. “If you were parked illegally at the university, there would be the right to tow you,” he said.
UBC will continue to give out parking warnings, and will tow repeat offenders. Photo by David Jones (lickr) Although the class-action lawsuit only names UBC Vancouver and the period of the class action predates the transition from Okanagan University College, its inancial implications could spread up here. “We anticipate that it was the university that is part of this lawsuit, and the university includes our campus in Kelowna,” Macrae said. “It’s possible,” Appleton told the Phoenix. “The probability of that is that the class-action suit was from 1990 to 2005... and we were not doing business here at that time.” According to Barbour, his legal team is ighting to receive from UBC a list of names from 1990-2005 so that those who had been charged , estimated at 100,000 people, would not need receipts. If you have parked at UBC and are one of the 100,000 you just may have won the lottery.
By The Numbers
1,800
Estimated number of parking spaces on-campus at UBC Okanagan
3,200
Estimated number of parking passes on-campus at UBC Okanagan
$175
Cost to purchase a year-round parking pass at UBC Okanagan
News at a glance ANA WEISS News Editor
International
National
Provincial
Local
Campus
The United States economy has taken another hit with the news that it has lost another 63,000 jobs in March. Unemployment has risen to 8.5% south of the border, levels that have not been seen since 1983. The U.S. Department of Labour says that, since the start of what experts now identify as the recession (in December 2007), there have been 5.1 million jobs lost - 3.3 million of those have occurred in the last 5 months. “It’s an ugly report and April is going to be equally as bad,” said Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody’s Economy.com.
Canada’s inance minister, Jim Flaherty, has claimed that “relatively speaking, this is a mild economic recession.” He delivered this optimistic message in London to a meeting of the Canada-U.K. Chamber of Commerce. “These are relatively mild challenges for us,” said Flaherty. He said that the governments and provinces of Canada are in strong iscal positions and that they have been running on surpluses for some time. Though Flaherty is quite positive about the situation, Prime Minister Steven Harper expects many more job losses in the future.
The body of an infant was found wrapped in a plastic bag in between two houses in Vancouver’s eastside neighborhood. Residents in the neghbourhood found the baby on Thursday, April 2nd. They are reported to have called 911 after inding a “igure inside the bag,” said Const. Jana McGuinness of the Vancouver police. Police do not expect the body to be connected to anyone in the neighborhood, and describe the death as “suspicious” and are appealing to the mother, or anyone who may know her, to contact police, McGuinness said.
Kelowna wants chickens! Kelowna City Councilor Michele Rule is introducing a motion aimed to make it legal for local residents to keep chickens in their backyard. “I have been in touch with elected oficials in other communities who either have or are considering similar bylaws,” said Rule. Presently, Kelowna residents are allowed to own chickens, but they must be able to roam over half an acre of property and said property must receive special zoning. Who knows, maybe this year chickens will replace last year’s wild rabbits.
After fourteen years, the Well Pub is closing in its current location. It is a particularly sad time of the year for students at UBC-O as they say their last goodbyes to their beloved campus pub. The Well Pub has been hosting great parties and serving cheap beer since 1995. It will be moving to a new location in the Students’ Union Building next year. Now that the bottom of the Student Service Centre is emptying out, the cozy Well will be turned into administration space. It’ll be new and improved in the new SSC, though the original Well will be missed greatly.
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The Phoenix
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April 2009
O.C. tuition fees won’t increase in 2009/10 New budget bolstered by provincial funding, allows for growth ANDREW BATES Features Editor ubcophoenixfeatureseditor@gmail.com
Lobbying pressure and unexpected funding collaborated to ensure that tuition fees won’t rise next year at Okanagan College. On March 31st, the Okanagan College Board of Governors approved a budget that did not increase tuition for the college, whose arts undergratuate fees are the highest among colleges in British Columbia. “The board is recognizing that the whole tuition fee issue needs to be approached on a very rigorous basis,” said Okanagan College President Jim Hamilton. “Students do face signiicant inancial challenges in going to school... the board wanted to at least acknowledge that, and did so through their decision.” “I think this is an incredibly important victory for students,” said Andrew Nelson, chair of the Okanagan College Students’ Union. “If you look at the past four years, we’ve had 0% increases for three of them, which is the only school out of the province to do that.” According to Hamilton, last-minute funding helped loosen the college’s belt. “They [the board] found themselves, by virtue of some additional funding be-
ing recieved from the provincial government this year, not in as tough of a inancial situation as they thought they would be,” he told the Phoenix. We also got money for growth, so we’re expecting now to be able to generate an additional 200 student spaces... we expected to have funding for 65 of those, but what we didn’t expect was the other 136 that came about in the last minute.”
Board of Governors.” The Kal Campus Students’ Association, which represents students on the Vernon campus, was in support of the proposed increase. Despite this oficial stance, according to sources, over 100 students signed a petition in protest of the increase during one day of campaigning on the campus. That number represents roughly one-sixth of the campus’ full-
“Students do face signiicant inancial challenges in going to school.” Jim Hamilton, president of Okanagan College
This is a reversal from what seemed before to be the board’s intention to pass a resolution that increased tuition fees by 2%, which is the maximum allowable amount, each year automatically. Student representatives say that strong input helped change the minds of the board. “Part of it was that we articulated the need students had for affordable education,” Nelson told the Phoenix. “We went to students directly. We petitioned them, irst of all, informed them, and then held our own consultation to get their feedback and bring it to the
time student base. Overall, it was suggested that a large part of the decision was due to the fact that OCSU representatives also made a presentation to the Board of Governors in January as well as appearing in front of the Board’s inance committee. “We were directly linked and commnicating that message, and they seem to be responding,” Nelson told the Phoenix.
solid, up-to-date policy around tuition fees were in place. “The marketplace in which we operate, in our sector, has changed with the advent of the new teaching universities,” Hamilton said. “All of a sudden [we] have the highest tuition fees in the province.” The principles, as well as the current tuition fee levels, were all carried forward from the amounts charged when the college was a part of Okanagan University College. “For every one of those tuition fee levels, I’m sure there was at one point was a good rationale as to why it was pegged at that amount in OUC’s day. That was four years ago, so it’s time we took a good look at it.” Hamilton stressed that any decision around tuition fees is always dificult. “What the board doesn’t have, this board or any board of any post-secondary institution around the country that I’m aware of, is clear public policy that says ‘students should be expected to bear responsability for a certain percentage of the total cost of their education’,” he told the Phoenix. “What the board and administration here... do, then, is they try to ind how to take the dollars that are available and provide as much service as they possibly can... that’s the way the budget works every year.”
Hamilton emphasized that going forward, the board wanted to ensure that
UBC-O Students Celebrate World Water Day
On-campus event featured speakers, barbecue, art ANDREW BATES Features Editor ubcophoenixfeatureseditor@gmail.com
Water was the focus on campus as World Water Day events took place from March 24th to March 27th. The events started with opening ceremonies on Tuesday of that week. Speakers at the event included Mayor Sharon Shepard, as well as various leaders from the irst-nations community and campus community made speeches. A free barbecue for students was held by the UBC Students’ Union Okanagan, with musical performances and an opening procession including a large blue face with hands that represented water. Additionally, the bottom of the courtyard pond, which is empty during the winter months to prevent damage from frozen water, was lined with discarded bottles of water. “The bottles of water were collected on campus in co-ordination with Facilities management and a Fine Arts major,” said Alexis Beckett, vice-president of the Archaology Course Union. “She collected them because she hoped they would ill up the pond and give a really good visual of how much water we’re consuming via bottle on campus.” “It’s really important for students to see the amount of effort and work put in by so many faculties,” said Angela Mulvey, External Coordinator of the ACU.
“There were so many different people from all areas of the campus getting together and focusing on one of these major issues that attention needs to be brought to.” Beckett and ACU president Angell Clarke, among other students, presented at the ceremonies, and Clarke was said to have played a major role in planning the event. It was a great way to promote the cause, according to Beckett. “World Water Day ceremonies on campus creates awareness and when we do have such a water shortage problem in the Okanagan, the more people that know the better... In a University, there are all kinds of people with all kinds of ideas that can come together to create a solution,” she said. Water was highlighted as an issue the week before, when a notice from a ictional Dean of Faculties went up in bathrooms in the SSC informing students that tuition was going to rise because of costs related to excessive use of water on campus. “Due to this irresponsible use [of water], in the fall semester of 2009 there will be a new fee added to the tuition of UBC-O students,” read the letter. Nobody knows who put up the letter, but according to Mulvey, it did a good job of getting attention to the issue. “There were two people that I work with, and they were outraged! They thought it was real, so it is a really good way to... raise awareness to issues such as water issues on campus.”
The bottles that covered the bottom of the pool represented water use at UBC-O. Photo by Andrew Bates (The Phoenix)
FEATURES I n t e r e s t e d i n t h e A r a m a r k contract? Contact ubcophoenixfeatureseditor@gmail.com for your complimentary .pdf copy.
barbecues or anything that goes on in the Student Lounge (which probably refers to what now is the Cage, where Koi Sushi and the Well Coffee House are). Aramark also gets to renegotiate the contract if any “new, unforseen Arms Length or Competing Business” is hurting its operation. Read: Affecting its sales igures. An interesting standard part of contracts is the force majeure clause. This is a standard clause in contracts and deals with so-called “Acts of God”: in the event that the school was overtaken by “ire, explosion... conditions of war, [an] act of military authority, rebellion or civil disobedience,” neither the school nor Aramark could be held responsible for not living up to the contract. If the Well regulars ever decided to hold an armed upbringing, take over the campus, and declare it was the independent nation of Wellonia, no, you would not be able to ind a place on campus offering a decent pasta. Also in the contract is a piece preventing any former manager of Aramark from moving to the University’s employ until a year after the contract expires. It’s kind of a non-competion thing, I guess. Additionally, whoever Aramark chooses for Director of Food Services must be approved by the University. The school pays all of Aramark’s business and import taxes, except for property taxes, which sounds like a good deal. When your headquarters are in Philadelphia, like Aramark, it’s handy to have UBC pick up import duties. So What’s Not There? First of all: money. In neither agreement does it mention who pays what for what; it doesn’t indicate if Aramark received or recieves a signing bonus, if UBC pays Aramark to provide food services, or if Aramark gives UBC a cut
of sales. Now, that makes sense. If that sort of information was public, either body would be tied to that amount to a certain extent if they ever had to negotiate with anyone else. What’s a little more confusing is the term. In both contracts, the length of the term has been censored. The reason why this is confusing is that it’s something everyone knows. The conidentiality clause in the contract doesn’t stop either body from revealing it, and I don’t know how it would hurt UBC or Aramark if anyone knew how long that contract was for. There’s always the possibility that the contract has an extension, I guess. Luckily, the memo attached to the cover letter for the UBC-Aramark amendment spells it out for us: the contract ends on December 31st of 2011. “Typically, when you’re heading into something that’s that substantial, I’d think you’re looking at at least six months or so in advance,” said Shannon Dunn, UBC’s Director of Housing and Conferences. “It usually has to have a tendered process, and that takes time.” One topic that has been making news lately is the 34% overhead charge applied to the balance that remains on an Aramark meal plan at the end of the year. This charge doesn’t appear on the contract I have, but it could be in the censored appendix. “That was something that... went in after the Aramark contract started,” Dunn told the Phoenix. “What happens with that is that essentially covers the cost of the facilities being open [until 7:30].” Although both UBC and Aramark describe the cafeteria’s being open till 7:30 as more than just “a business piece,” it’s clear that this service is funded by this overhead, which can be as much or more than $300 dollars per single student. However, Dunn defends the practice. “Let’s say... you had 500 students on the meal plan, and they all had meal plans, and nobody chose to use any of it,” she said. “It’s helping pay for the hours that they wouldn’t be open otherwise.” When asked whether or not this means that students that put money on cash cards are obligated to spend it, Dunn replied “You’re not obligated, in the sense of whether you’d chosen to or not, but of course there’s a inancial cost to not doing so.” Next year, the maximum amount of money
April 2009
you can put on a cash card will increase. A journey for freedom! It took me numbers of phone calls, emails, and faxes to get this contract, over the course of a whole term. Eventually, though, I did receive it, even though it was heavily censored. I’m going to ask the privacy commissioner to review the contract to see if they really removed just what they had to, and I’m pushing for Aramark to answer some questions I still have. The most important word in “Freedom of Information” is “information.” You’ll note that nothing revealed in that document is really all that bad. Aramark has an exclusivity clause, but
Blackout! Although the Freedom of Information act lets a taxpayer get a look at the documents of a public institution, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all information is free. They don’t have to release anything that hurts a public body, in this case UBC, economically or inancially. They, dramatically, don’t have to release anything that hinders the government from running the economy, or anything that hurts UBC’s negotiating position. When it comes to a third party, such as Aramark, UBC can’t release anything that reveals trade secrets of a third party or anything in conidence. They also can’t release anything that would harm Aramark’s competitive position, result in undue inancial gain, or result in Aramark stonewalling UBC for info. In this case, they’ve blanked out a lot. 8 full pages and 11 partial pages were apparently too harmful to UBC and Aramark for the Average Joe Taxpayer to see. That’s more than half the contract (and a third of the nine-page amendment with UBC), 19 pages in total, that were censored in whole or in part.
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that’s no surprise. Aramark borrows some equipment, but it’s not necessary for us to know what equipment that is. The worst part of it all is how hard it was to ind out some very simple information. The most mysterious and ominous piece in the contract is what lies in those fully censored pages. Realistically, openness would be a better policy. Because with those pages, which could be about anything, people start to wonder whether or not they hurt Aramark’s business interests or their public image. In the end, it’s important to try and get access to this sort of material. It ought to be public knowledge, as it’s always best to be informed.
Some of these are in places that’d make sense to not disclose, like investment of equipment, because that’d disclose the things that Aramark uses to make food. That could be trade secrets, for sure, and it’s not something that’s one of the key issues of the contract, so that’s okay. What’s a little more worrying is eight fully blacked-out pages of the contract and the amendment that live in a fairly nebulous section of the contract titled “Further Understandings and Undertakings Which Form Part of This Agreement”. When there’s a blacked-out space under Purchasing, we’re pretty sure that it would have covered things you’ll buy. When there’s a blackedout space under Term, you’ll know that part of the contract covers when the contract lasts until. But Further Understandings? That could be anything. Aramark declined to comment on what could be there before our printing deadline. It’s not the irst time that people have had problems getting contracts out of UBC: in the 90s, the Ubyssey asked for the University’s contract with Coca-Cola and got a title-page and a page with signatures, with the rest blacked out. That resulted in a massive negative response, with a huge student outpouring.
Images courtesy of the UBC Supply Department.
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Sports & Leisure DAN PITURA Sports Editor ubcophoenixsportseditor@gmail.com
Men Finish at Nationals After Provincial Gold
Another successful season is in the bag for the UBC-O men’s basketball team. With a 13-5 season record and the provincial gold to boot, the Heat have put another successful season is in the bag for the UBC O men’s basketball program. The Heat ended their outstanding season effort at Nationals in Prince George three weeks ago by inishing in 8th place. The regular season for the Heat was one of the best performances in men’s basketball at UBC-O ever. Improving upon last year’s impressive record of 12-6 by one win, the Heat inished regular season play at 3rd in the BCCAA, losing out in a tiebreaker with Langara College for 2nd and 10 points behind the undefeated Vancouver Island Mariners.
behind with 20 while also earning Player of the Game.
mentum throughout the third quar-
them into the second. The men fought
Though the 8th-place inish is a disappointing end that mirrors last year’s results, the Heat still have much to celebrate from simply making it to the big stage. Through conquering one of the most competitive leagues in Canada, the Heat have much to look forward to for next year. With only one player gone to graduation – co-captain and guard Aron Balakrishnan – a roster of returnees would have the experience to achieve even higher acclimations, granted the team does not lose their top talent to CIS teams waiting with enticements. Yet with the Heat’s own CIS application only one month away from likely approval, UBC-O has offers close to the mark.
2008/09 Men’s Basketbal Team: (left-right; back row) Asst. Coach Cary Mellon, Asst. Coach Kyle Graves, A 5-0 effort in the irst half of Jonathan Christian, Brock Radditz, David MacKay, Renee-Lee Sylvain, Simon Pelland, Jon Zaleski, Steve Morthe season had the Heat looking “Let’s do it again,” said Assistant rison, Ryan Fahandeg, Head Coach Darren Semeniuk. (front) Dean Kmyta, Alex Roth, Aron Balakrishnan, primed to take sole possession of Coach Cary Mellon when asked Taylen Busch, Chris Spencer, Jeff Van Dolah. top spot, but the second half the for the team’s plan for next year Photo by UBC-O Athletics season saw a much tougher ride “There are a lot of players weighfor the Heat. Edging out the Caping their options though. A lot of ilano Blues 98-97 on the road in their that [decision] rides too on what hapirst game of January, the Heat would ter as well, leading by as much as 9 on though in true Heat fashion, out- pens in May.” lose the second of the home-and-home point going into the fourth. However, scoring UNBC in the latter two frames. series 94-73 the following night. Two things would quickly sour for the men The rabid T-Wolves were just as tena- So with another successful season of wins against the 6-16 Columbia Bible in the inal frame, as the Cavaliers cious however as they held the Heat Heat basketball locked up, and plenty College Bearcats would prop the Heat poured on a little je ne sais quoi to at bay, taking the game and the Heat’s of optimism for the future, the Heat up in the standings before two crucial crush the Heat’s lead and establish a last shot at a top 3 inish 95-76. program celebrates its irst season and weekends against Langara and VIU. 12 point lead of their own, outscoring irst gold medal. Congratulations, With the Heat needing to ground UBC-O 26-14 in the quarter. Despite Rookie guard Dean Kmyta was named men. those two teams to clinch the top spot an earnest effort on offence –including Player of the Game with a team 19 in BCCAA, the Heat would izzle into 3 treys from forward Alex Roth - the points, while Fahandeg a 4 game skid. The losses handed cru- Heat were unable to convert a single and Roth followed with cial points over to the opposition and basket as the team from Champlain 13 and 8 respectively. would unfortunately be irrevocable in denied the Heat their shot at national With a inal shot to win the Heat’s quest for a bye into provin- gold 73-66. on the national stage becials. The bye was eventually proven Co-captain and forward Jon Zaleski fore them, the Heat took unnecessary however, as the Heat’s was named Player of the Game for on the other 0-2 team in 3-0 result at the tournament clinched the Heat, contributing 12 points and the Montmorency College 23.(+9$2&+,:&33.)$;<<.''9$ them the gold in a thrilling 66-60 upset 8 rebounds in the effort for the Heat. Renegades, a wildcard over VIU (look in the previous issue of =+)0>0)?(33@$;3(:A.)$B&&:'9$ the Phoenix for complete provincial Rookie standout Ryan Fahandeg led team out of Laval, QueC3.>(,&:'9$;33$D0E.'$ all Heat scorers with 19 points, while bec. The Heat once again coverage.) Roth inished with 14 points and 6 re- built an early lead in the For much of the season the Heat had bounds. Champlain would go on to irst-quarter, only to sucL-.$.R(A'$S033$'&&+$T.$ earned a position in the national rank- the silver medal after losing to the Mt. cumb to the pressure by ings, though never within the top 5. Royal Cougars of Calgary in the inal giving up 32 points in the )&+.U$K&S$@&?$+..)$,&$ second frame for a 50-45 Their performance at the provincial round. ',&:.$@&?:$V&''.''0&+'$ score at the half in the tournament against VIU however garW&:$,-.$'?AA.:U$ nered a 5th-place ranking going into With the top two spots now precluded Renegades’ favour. The the national tournament. While such from them, the Heat set their focus Heat would continue to a seeding immediately put the Heat upon gilding their effort in bronze as trail the remainder of the on the uphill in their quest for gold, they took on the hosting UNBC Tim- match until the eventual men’s basketball at UBC-O was as berwolves in the consolation semi- score of 88-84, their clos!"#$%&"'!(%)*+,' inals. With a 2-0 records against the est effort of the tournapoised as ever for the shot. ‘Wolves in the regular season (includ- ment yet at the least conF;G$HI%$8$JIKLMD9$ The Heat’s irst opposition were the ing a 91-74 trouncing one month ear- siderable match. ;KB$LMC$"LM$JIKLM$=D$H%CCN$$$I:$$ No.4 Champlain Cavaliers out of lier), the Heat looked favoured in the $$$OF$LI$P"4$IHH$GIO%$Q',$JIKLM$ St. Lambert, Quebec. The Cavaliers, competition. However, the Heat came The rookie tandem out champions of the Quebec collegiate out lat footed and ill-fated in the of KSS in Kmyta and Faleague, were quickly introduced to the round, trailing by a score of 57-31 at handheg though once !"#"$%&''$%&()$*&+$,-.$/.','0).1$ sharp play of the B.C. Champions as the half. Largely in part to clutching again led the Heat charge, the Heat emerged to a 29-28 lead at the only 16 of 46 rebounds while offering with Kmyta scoring a 2(33$ $ half. The Heat continued to build mo- up a total of 13 turnovers, the Heat’s game high 23 points with disastrous irst-half play would haunt Fahandeg following close $
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SPORTS & LEISURE April 2009
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The Phoenix
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Big White and Silver Star Spring Skiing DAN PITURA Sports Editor ubcophoenixsportseditor@gmail.com
While Samantha Brett has offered a much cheaper, closer, and quieter alternative to studying and exams this issue, it should be known that both of the area’s ski mountains are still open for another week or two. With late snow still arriving as of last week, chances are good that there is still some time left before the rocks start poking their ugly heads. Spring riding is a special kind of riding, with the temperature hovering just above freezing, warm sun on your face, and the snow a soft putty ready to be carved by the now dulling edges of your board. Besides the shreddage, there is a plethora of other late-season speciic activities taking place at both mountains, ranging from art shows, park jams, and the huckage of fauxpeople off of a ridiculous booter. Silver Star in Vernon is scheduled to run until April, 12th, which is all of four days away. Typically the late season snow at the Star has turned into a slushy brown mixture by this time, but with the unusually cold weather coupled with a few late season dumps, conditions are much better than typical. A particularly bright day on the
Silver Star calendar is April, 11th, also known as Retro Day. An ‘80’s dance party on skis, Retro Day is an excellent excuse to ditch the books for a day wearing the most ridiculous outit currently in your closet for a day of snow and (hopefully) sun. A group photo of all radically dressed riders takes place at the top of the Comet (6-pack) chair at 1:15pm, followed by a “Hero Run” of the same participants down the Milky Way. Be prepared for plenty of hooting and hollering and a streaker or two as well. The Star’s Dummy Gelunde takes place the following (and last) day of skiing. A fond farewell to the ski season, dummies in a variety of ski-based vehicles and ensembles are sacriiced to the snow gods for thire appeasement, resulting in favourable climates for next season when snow falls from the halls of Valhalla... what? No really, this free event is just a good time to send off the season. Awards for best dummy, biggest air, etc. are awarded and the event provides legitimate entertainment for all. First dummy guinea pigs the jump at 3:00pm at the far end of the Village. Big White is still keeping its name alive with some late season fresh still piling on. While it isn’t any of the “cham-
pagne” variety, the fact that snow is beers and laughing at dummies (the still coming down at all has allowed one’s on skis too) the 19th also includes the mountain to remain open to April, the Ski2Sea Race, a relay/heptathlon in 19th. Notable happenings include the which teams and soloists ski (X and Al4th Annual Film and Photo contest on pine), Bike (Mountain and Road), Run, April, 10th, and some serious Easter Swim, and Row their way over 95 km business happening April, 12th. Lots to victory. Studying just looked a little of chocolate I’m told (though I’m still more appealing. waiting for the Easter Bunny to dole out some free passes). The King and So there you have it, plenty of good Queen of Easter event also goes down times to be had on the local mountains. on the same afternoon, and what that Ticket prices are likely to remain at means I can’t tell you - Sounds very $59 for students with I.D. ($71 withfamilial though. For those looking for out) at both mountains, but sometimes some late season park action, the an- the ability to rip down the soft snow nual Shop Challenge throws down on groomed to perfection in nothing but April, 18th, pitting various local shops a baggy T is worth even that. See you against one another to determine “who on the hill. is most core.” An inevitable good time is to be had there, and is followed by an open competition for all ages to compete for various prizes. The following day is Biggie’s own Dummy Gelunde, and is basically the same event as the one at the Star. For those looking for a more athletic Conditions at Big White last week. time than drinking Photo Courtesy of Micheal J. Ballingall
Bird-Watching at Robert Lake SAMANTHA BRETT PHOENIX CONTRIBUTER
pus, Robert Lake is a natural saline lake, protected by the Okanagan Naturalists Club, and looked after by the local residences who maintain the private road. Bird watching is a soothing and fascinating hobby, and it doesn’t take much time to put in a quality effort while observing and identify different species. The lake has the most water in the spring; it quickly dries up by summer time and develops a ring of salt around its circumference. Robert Lake is home to over
It is that shoulder season again folks. I bet you’re lost in endless essays, group projects that no one attends meetings for, and you ask yourself, “Why dear Lord, have you made the clocks go backwards once I lipped my calendar to April? Why have you made my last inal exam on the last possible date when you know I have a suring trip planned to Southern California? Why must you be cruel and make it snow after you have melted most of winter away? Why did you hide 2 megaessays from me all semester? Don’t you know I want to go mountain biking this weekend?” You let out a deep sigh and Eurasian Wigeon Northern Pintail Photo by pictoscribe (Flickr) wilt your bottom lip - you’re too broke to keep snowboarding, and you’re living 100 migrating species during spring, off an old bag of roasted almonds that and currently the majority of species you attempted to salt yourself back in you will observe are ducks and other November. You need a break! water fowl. This is the best time to visit Robert Lake if you are interested There is an activity that is enjoyable, in bird watching because it is different educational, active and cheap right at every day. New birds ly in over night your back door! You’re not ready for to rest and feed, and quickly they leave mountain biking, currently still getting in the morning. Some rarities may lininto shape from the sluggish cold winger which provides a vibrant attraction ter, but you want to get outside in befor the local bird watching community tween writing papers and studying for of Kelowna. exams. Your oasis awaits young grasshopper- bird-watching at Robert Lake. Common species to look for during this time consist of: Green-winged Teal, Located right behind the UBC-O camNorthern Shoveler, Canvasback Duck,
American Wigeon, Mallard, Gadwall, Common Golden-eye (occasionally the less frequent Barrows Golden-eye), Northern Pintail, and other rarities such as the Eurasian Widgeon couple that was there last week. As far as shore birds go, you could expect to see more and more unique birds arriving each week, as the weather gets warmer, and the bugs come out. Attractions for local birders include American Avocet and Black-necked Stilt. The Avocet do
Ponderosa pine stands. Other migrant birds that are yet to return include Western Tanager, Bullock’s Oriole, Marsh Wren, Catbird, Savannah Sparrow, and Vesper Sparrow to name a few.
Robert Lake is a fascinating geographical feature resting silently right behind campus, and is teaming with wildlife this spring. Grab some binoculars, bird book and a friend, and head out for a walk to Robert Lake before you start that next paragraph of your essay. Please be aware and I will make it known, that Robert Lake road is a PRIVATE road open to only pedestrians Red-winged Blackbird Photo by Len Blumin (Flickr) Photo by Michael @ Privacy of the Mind (Flickr) walking or cycling. No cars nest in the area, as well they nest at the please! If you do decide to walk out to landill located further down the val- the lake for some fresh air, please STAY ley. Killdeer are frequent inhabitants on the ROAD. Do not venture out to now and will stay for the summer to the shores of the lake, for Robert Lake nest, along with Red-winged Black- is a protected and active nesting sancbirds that you will notice singing on tuary for many of these shorebirds and the bulrushes and hydro lines around other species; the local community is the lake. Flocks of Western Bluebirds very protective of the lake as well and lutter through the grassy ields and will scold you if you are seen near the sing from fence posts, as well as Say’s water. The ecosystem surrounding the Phoebe. These are all considered early lake is fragile, and to avoid disruption spring migrants. Red-tailed hawks and please do not trespass. Please, EYES other accipiter’s can be seen hunting ONLY! and swooping in the ields for mice and voles, and Great Horned Owls can Enjoy the spring weather and mating be heard around dusk calling from the birds!
Arts Culture &
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live march 31, grateful fed
Azeda Booth/Kingdom Cloud
AIDAN WHITELEY Arts Editor ubcophoenixartseditor@gmail.com
On Tuesday, March 31, the Grateful Fed hosted two very different bands - both under the radar and very talented. Azeda Booth from Calgary and Kelowna’s own Kingdom Cloud. The show was put on by Goats from Above productions as part of Grateful Fed Tuesdays. Local, self described “pop ambassadors” and OKM students, Kingdom Cloud opened with their straightforward guitar-and-keys based power-pop. These kids (ranging from 17 to 18 years old) never cease to impress me. Their tight and intricated understanding of pop music, combined with their playful demeanor, always leads to a great show. The audience can expect to have as much fun as they do playing for us. Drummer Laura Jeffery always has a huge grin on her face while wailing away on the skins. Their exhuberance is the perfect antidote to the usual brooding, emo, or overwraught pompousness that is typical of young Kelowna bands. As much as Kingdom Cloud is rooted in todays electronic pop styles, they are also as nostalgic as any crusty sailor. Having graced this earth since only the early 90s, one would question what they’ve got to be nostalgic about. Still, Neil Young was old enough to be nostalgic in his early 20s, so why can’t these kids yearn for 1999 in 2009? We all (not so secretly) want to forget writing papers and curl up and play Mario Kart 64. Kingdom Cloud spells it out for us on “Rainbow Road.” Azeda Booth descended upon Kelowna after playing Vancouver and South-by-South West in Austin last week to bring their unique electronic twiddling, guitar iddling set to Kelowna on March 31st at the Grateful Fed.
Bottom Left: Evan Jeffery pumps out some pop during Kingdom Cloud’s opening set.
Top: Jordon Hossack takes a breather between wailing on his delay-laden microphone.
Next Page: Jaeden Leimert of Kingdom Cloud plucks out some pep and enjoys it.
Right: Morgan Greenwood checks his sound prior to Azeda Booth’s show at the Grateful Fed.
All Photos by Aidan Whiteley
Bottom Right: Marc Rimmer pulls double duty on guitar and keyboards during Azeda Booth’s glitch heavy set.
ARTS & CULTURE April 2009
That being said, I have seen them play many times over the past few years, and there is deinite growth in their playing. Their development has ranged from basic pop ditties inluenced by everything from early British Invasion to the Garage Rock Revival, to darker, more synth driven electro-pop numbers. Speaking with Evan, Jaeden, and Laura after the show, they described their still forthcoming debut record as “electric, adventureous, neon lights, and tropical.” We can only assume that means it will be digi-funk/detroit techno meets Israel “Iz” Ka’ano’i Kamakawiwo’ole. Calgary’s Azeda Booth topped off the night and changed pace a bit. From the energetic, playful pop of Kingdom Cloud to a more subtle, atmospheric electronic kind of pop. The three piece of Jordon Hossack, Morgan Greenwood, and Marc Rimmer share, as well as duplicate band duties, often within the same song. All three contribute synths/keyboards, guitar and vocals to some extent. The delay heavy lead vocals of Jordan Hossack shares similarities with baroque pop singer Antony Hegerty of Antony and the John-
sons in his falsetto. While processed, his vocals have more in common with space rock and acid rock like early Flaming Lips. Hossack often uses his voice more as an instrument to compliment the music rather than a driving force. This is not a band that will ever lead a stadium-sized audience sing along. Azeda Booth is deinitely more at home in smaller, more intimate quarters. Azeda Booth’s unique blend of Intelligent Dance Music (IDM), pop, and psychedelia makes for an interesting ride. Sometimes too trying, but mostly enjoyable, Azeda Booth leads you on a musical journey through their alternate reality club experience. A club experience where the guys have cardigans instead of polo shirts, and the girls have leggings, not mini-skirts. In this club, everything is permenently set on slow, or whatever beat you’re feeling, because everyone is right there with you. Those hollow electronic beats and alien vocals you’re hearing are leading you deeper into your own winter time experience. Is that Thom Yorke over there on his lap top? Hmm, Boards of Canada is on the other end side. But wait! Those are real guitars they’re holding, and they’re dissonant.
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Thanks, Azeda Booth, for making this entirely ictional club experience happen for me. Between the booming bass and wailing vocals is this middle ground occupied by toy pianos and whistles. This is Azeda Booth’s playground section. Part glitch, part orchestral - Azeda Booth thrives on the in-between. With the bass intact, Azeda Booth has the freedom to pursue whatever sample driven aspect they feel like. Azeda Booth is continuing their tour and quest for world domination for the next month or so. They’ve got a just released free-EP called Tubtek available for download from their website [http:// www.azedabooth.com/] as well as their full length debut, In Flesh Tones, available from Absolutely Kosher Records. For more information on Kingdom Cloud, check out their myspace at http://www.myspace.com/kingdomcloudisloud. Goats From Above Productions is continuting live music events at the Grateful Fed on Tuesdays and the Blue Gator on Mondays throughout the spring and summer.
War Child Heroes Comp. ALEXIS RATZ ing agency, identifying, de-
Editor-In-Chief veloping and stafing aid ubcophoenixeditorinchief@gmail.com projects and organizations, a grant-making trust, providing funding and logistical support for NGO’s, and as a lobbyist group, forming links between the media and entertainment industries to create awareness and garner support.
You may have noticed an album cover loating around featuring colourful machine guns drawn in crayon, seemingly by a child’s hand. If you did, you probably thought “Wow, that’s wrong.” Well, that’s exactly the point behind the newest fundraising effort by War Child International. War Child is made up of two ofices, War Child Canada and War Child Holland. Together, they link other independent organizations worldwide to aid children who have been affected by war. According to War Child, the 20th century resulted in more than 60 million casualties of war. 80% of these were civilian casualties, and 1.5 million were children. So what does War Child aim to do? War Child works as an implement-
War Child Canada, with a total of 84 employees, has current projects in 8 different countries. War Child Holland, with a total of 590 employees, has projects in 13 countries. These projects aim to alleviate some of the suffering of kids by bringing material aid into war zones, providing support to kids living in refugee camps, initiating rehabilitation programs for children who have been able to return home, and helping to heal the psychological damage of war. Much of War Child’s work involves creative, especially musical, activities as well as sports which teach children to get along, provide an opportunity to express their emotions and, perhaps most importantly, help children affected by war remember how to play again. Heroes is not the irst fundraising album to be released by War Child. Peace Songs came out in 2003, and Help: A Day in the Life came out in 2006, the same year War Child Canada launched its wesbsite “Get Loud/ Plus Fort,” a
bilingual site celebrating the contributions of Canadian musicians and youth activists. Heroes is a unique concept. 15 socially-conscious industry icons such as Stevie Wonder, the Ramones and Iggy Pop each chose a song from their catalogues and then nominated a current artist to cover it. Imagine Duffy’s surprise when she heard that Sir Paul McCartney wanted her to cover “Live and Let Die.” The result is an eclectic, heartfelt and thoroughly interesting listening experience, featuring such gems as The Yeah Yeah Yeah’s covering The Ramones, Lilly Allen’s cute little voice backed up by Mick Jones on The Clash’s “Straight to Hell”, and TV on the Radio doing the title track, David Bowie’s “Heroes.” My personal favourites are The Hold Steady doing a spirited, saxaphone-heavy rendition of Bruce Springsteen’s “Atlantic City” and a gorgeous version of U2’s “Running to Stand Still” performed by Elbow, which pays appropriate homage to the original track. If there’s one album you should buy this year instead of internet-stealing, it’s this one. There’s something for everyone on it, it’s an incredibly creative and interesting project, and your dollars make a real difference in the lives of kids in war-torn nations. For more information, visit www.warchild. org.
L A K E C O U N T R Y, B C w w w. C r e e k s i d e T h e a t r e . c o m info 250.766.5669 reservations 250.766.9309
The Show of Stars Friday, April 17 at 7 pm Presented by The Lake Country Dance PAC & Lake Country School of Dance. Join our award winning dancers as they perform this year’s solos & duets PLUS get a sneak peak at a few favorite group numbers. For more info contact 250-766-4502 or visit www.lakecountryschoolofdance.com. Tickets: $8.00 at the Door. All proceeds go to the Lake Country Dance PAC.
Mishra’s Kirtan Saturday, April 18 at 7:30 pm Presented by The Mishra School of Indian Classical Music Society. Deobrat Mishra (volcal and sitar master) and Pandit Kumar Lal Mishra (tablamaster), share the magic and ecstasy of one of India’s oldest improvisatory and devotional musical traditions. Tickets: $22 General, $18 Seniors
The Arrogant Worms Thursday, April 23 at 7:30 pm THE ARROGANT WORMS shows are fast, furious and family friendly. The wit is quick, the satire is biting and the musicianship is second to none. Their appeal has earned them fans from kids to parent to grantparents to Princess Leia. Tickets: $25 General, $22 Seniors/Students, $80 for Groups of Four.
ARTS & CULTURE Vertigo-Grade Nausea 14
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April 2009
ETHAN P.S. ARLETTE indiscernible Phoenix Contributor
A man walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a glass of water.”
specialization rushes into the bar.
“Be careful, bartender!” shouts the out-of-breath doctor, “that man’s just escaped from an asylum!”
The bartender says, “Why?” The man says, “Because I’m a little horse.” The bartender scoffs and says, “That’s not true at all. Anyone can see you’re a full grown man.” “So it would seem, bartender,” the man cooly replies, “so it would seem.” Not long after the man receives his glass of water, a doctor of
The bartender rests his hand on a shotgun under the counter, and says, “Well, that explains that whole horse thing.” The man cries, “Nay! I’m a victim of species disassociation! It’s not a life choice, I was born this way! Don’t take me back there, doc!” The doctor, still catching his breath, straightens up his lab coat and says, “That’s precisely why you were in an asylum to begin with. If you had cho-
sen to adopt the personality of a tiny horse, you’d just be annoying. Truth is, though, you were born identifying yourself as a tiny horse and can only become better through the realization that reality is uncertain and your perceptions are yours alone.” “Well,” proclaims the man, “by my perceptions, I am a tiny horse! Do our perceptions not deine our respective realities? Who are you to say that I’m wrong?”
perception,” shouts the man, “and can be found to be just as delusional as my own!” He gets up from his barstool intending to charge at the doctor, but slips and falls hard on the uninished cement loor of the bar, breaking his hip.
from the doctor’s lips as blood pools beneath the man, smoke still coiling from the barrel of the gun.
“Yeeouch!” says the man, “I am of the perception that my hip is broken!”
“Well,” says the bartender, returning his shotgun to the shelf under the counter, “it may sound foolish, but I became unsure of the validity of my perception, and in a panic I ended up relying on that man as the constant to my variable view. Horses, no matter how tiny, cannot heal broken bones easily and as such must be put down.”
The doctor considers the man’s fall and states, “Yes, I am of the professional opinion that your perception is correct!”
“That simply won’t do,” says the doctor, “your delusion is not in any way productive to the human species outside of your perception!”
At this, the bartender swiftly takes the shotgun from under the counter and shoots the man dead.
“But, that’s solely your own
A mortiied breath passes
“Why on earth did you do that?!” the doctor wails in shock.
“Jesus,” gasps the doctor.
Women’s Resource Center A blue penis in slow motion Utopia Anthology Launch Watchmen:
AIDAN RANNEY needlessly
lipping over obstacles other Copy Editor ubcophoenixcopyeditor@gmail.com than because someone igured it Looks Cool, Zach Snyder is not very talthough. ented at what he does (ostensibly, ilm making). However, About the soundtrack - there he does seem to have a good are a few well-placed songs knack for crafting solid enter- [Bob Dylan’s “The Times Are tainment. His irst two mov- A Changin’” is used brillianties, Dawn of the Dead and 300 ly... in the opening credits], didn’t bore me to sleep and but it’s mostly terrible. Yes, the had at least one thing going movie takes place in the mid for them each (Sarah Pol- 80’s, but that is no good reason ley for the former and lots of to blast “99 Luft Balloons” for pretty colours and stuff for the ive seconds when two charlatter). acters make eye contact in a That said, Watchmen is both the best movie Snyder has made yet, and the best adaptation of an Alan Moore book made yet (although that still isn’t saying much). There’s some really great stuff about it, such as Jackie Earle Hayley’s performance as Rorschach, which, Christian Baleas-Batman voice aside, is both true to the original character and intensely compelling. The worst parts, as far as I can tell, stem from the soundtrack and what seems to be Snyder’s inability to understand that the original novel worked mainly as a critique and a musing on the superhero genre. It’s all over the place. A great job was done with the action scenes. Snyder restrained himself on Matrix-fu style action enough to have ight scenes that communicate huge impact, exaggerated speed and physical precison while managing to make the characters still seem very vunerable. I have no idea why we need to see characters leaping long distances and
diner. Inserting Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” into a sex scene may seem like a good idea [a great idea, even!], but the point is entirely lost when you make it the longest, barely still R-rated sex scene ever. When our two un-costumed heroes reach orgasm and their loating bubble-shaped airship ejaculates ire into the atmosphere, you get something that’s awkward, hilarious and sad all at the same time.
AIDAN WHITELEY a topic unrelated to
school work. The platform for expression allowed students to share their difffering views on the subject with a wider audience. The turnout and amount of contributions is all the more amazing due to the timing amongst exams, and shows a comitment to arts and equality in the UBC-O student body. Contributors came from diverse backgrounds and faculties and all presented their own unique views on the concept of a utopia.
Arts Editor ubcophoenixartseditor@gmail.com
The Womens Resource Centre Utopia Anthology launch party at The Well on March 27th went off without a hitch. Editors Angelique Nicole Veerman, and Louisa Varco were on hand to release the anthology at a great social event. The event combined readings by authors and live musical performances afterwards. Utopia offered an opportunity for students to write about
The movie doesn’t really work altogether for things like this happening, even though the lick is ‘good enough’ by almost all standards. Feel content to watch Watchmen for the (mostly intact) powerful genre-melding storyline, Dr. Manhattan’s big blue dong lapping around in the breeze and the slo-mo shots that comprise at least 60% of the movie. Seriously, I think this might be the irst movie to use slow motion in a scene that’s already going in slow motion.
Above: Nathan Weber reads his submission to Utopia at the Well during the book launch Right: Hailey Troock plays some tunes after the readings Photos by Aidan Whiteley
The Anthology launch and the production itself was a resounding success. 95 of 100 copies of Utopia Anthology were sold, and the launch made enough revenue from ticket and book sales to fund the production of next year’s anthology. The Womens Resource Centre would like to thank everyone that helped helped produce the anthology, performed, and read at the event. Musical performers included Hailey Troock, Jennifer Jade Kerr, Jordan Clapper with Matt Oddleifson, and The Malarky’s.
Opinions
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Comment on Pen Names Stupid Onions! DAIRTY SALPO ALI Phoenix Contributor
Pen names must be one of the greatest tools ever devised for an author. Whether you’re a bit too shy to put your name out there, or you just want to play with an alternate identity, there’s a certain allure to adopting one. There’s a seemingly limitless number of reasons to use one, really. Often, however, these reasons stem from the marketing of a work. Women used to use male names to publish under [some still do, I’m sure], as publishers believed that ‘no one’ [i.e.
- men] would want to buy a book written by a woman. Stephen King, one of th most popular writers of our time, wrote novels under the name Richard Bachman when he worried that his fame was getting in the way of his writing being judged on its own merits. Writers of all types, from short story and magazine writers to novelists have been known to use pen names to publish more works than a single publisher would allow for a single person [logic being that readers will tire of a writer who publishes, say, more than two novels a year, or say, more than three articles an issue of
a magazine]. There are other reasons for publishers and/or editors to limit output, but in cases where a writer is trying to maximize that output, a pen name is usually acceptable. Mark Twain, Lewis Carrol, Dr. Seuss - all are pen names, and all are deinitely cooler sounding than their respective authors’ real names. If you’ve got something to say but would rather distance yourself from the public, or even think a piece works better distanced from your public image, for instance, give it a go. It can be silly, or not silly, or... an anagram, or whatever.
AIDAN WHITELEY this stench sucks! It is the ‘my eyes are almost watering’ stench. It is the ‘god my throat hurts’ stench. The exhasperated ‘why me!?’ stench.
Arts Editor ubcophoenixartseditor@gmail.com
What the fuck is with the onions, honestly? On a regular frequency the Phoenix ofice is inundated by a putrid onion smell from the café downstairs. I know this sounds bitchy, but come on! Here we are trying to produce a high quality paper for all you folks to read and we’re soaked in onion stench. Personally I like eating onions, and generally don’t mind the smell when they’re cooking, but for some reason the stench is ampliied or their onions are of some alien breed, because
My biggest complaint would have to be locality of it. If you go outside the phoenix ofice and it smell ine, but inside its violating! My request for aramark: please tone down the onions. Or at the very least, give us warning. On second thought, our ofice won’t be in this building next year, so I’ll just shut up and quit my bitching.
Ballcuzzi: The nutlover’s most exciting pastime Vanessa Montemurro Phoenix contributor
Let’s talk testis. I have always been curious as to why the nuts are so frequently neglected. Are people simply preoccupied with shaft-stroking action, or do they just not know what to do with those balls? Here’s a way for you to give those hardworking gonads some vacation time. First off: have you ever heard of a Ballcuzzi? If you answered YES, then you rule. Seriously. Exploring your balls, or your partners balls, means you’ve got game and you’re about to develop an attitude that will garner some gratitude. So what is it? According to urban dictionary:
i.e. “Wow! I never thought a ballcuzi could feel so refreshing until I got a orange- fanta ballcuzi on a hot humid day.”
Fast setting: “Wannabe” -Spice GIrls
Ballcuzzi with your face:
Slow setting: “I will always love you” - Whitney Houston
To make your ballcuzzi a bit more personal (and challenging):
2) a swig of sprite(or other carbonated beverage) If you’re feeling fancy, go for champagne 3)gurgle or hum: the star spangled banner Note: The Star Spangled banner is not for everyone, use whatever melody you enjoy. These song suggestions offer different vibrational settings, so to speak:
i.e.“The gentle bubbles of the ballcuzzi tickled my sack as I unloaded my penis gravy” One gentleman replied, when asked what he would like to have his nuts dunked into: “ Well, warm milk is a pastime favourite. Green tea might be nice, but I think something with mint (menthol) would be nice for a tingling effect..... your balls would probably be stoked too, cause it’d be like they just brushed their teeth.” Justin Slaughter (California) Another variation that’s worth trying is the orangefanta (soda) ballcuzzi , “The most lucrative and ballin variation of the ballcuzzi, in which a males testicles are fully submerged in a glass of carbonated orange fanta while sexual partner(s) blows bubbles into the glass with a straw. Created in Thailand. (among hip-hop practitioners, is suppose to indicate ones extremely high level of sexual libido).” - urban dictionary
There are never-ending possibilities when it comes to ballcuzzi’s, sooOOoo…
1) take a mouthful of testicles
ballcuzzi (ball-coo-zie) When a male or something with nuts submerges their testicles into a cup of warm water while their partner blows profusely through a straw that has been inserted into the cup creating a jacuzzi affect. For added pleasure the penis is usually wildly jerked with the blowers free hand until ejaculation.
Medium setting: “Mambo #5” -Lou Bega
Fast setting, with watercolour.
Get curious University people! This is your time to experiment! But keep it clean, if this activity is foreplay for the big dipper, make sure to rinse all the liquid off your balls and or penis especially if the liquid contains sugar, as sugar can cause yeast infections in sensitive places. And remember: ALWAYS use protection!
OPINIONS 16
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April 2009
“She asked for It”
Feedback
HEATHER STACK
COLIN MATHER
Business Manager ubcophoenixbusinessmanager@gmail.com
Most people, myself included, do not like to discuss the explosive topic of rape. However, due to the shocking opinions expressed in two of my three classes on Thursday morning, I feel compelled to comment on this subject. As the classes were Philosophy and Psychology, I was not expecting rape to be on the discussion panel, and was therefore not mentally prepared to deal with either the subject matter, or the upsetting opinions that were raised during these classes. In Philosophy class one student asked if it the circumstance in discussion could be considered rape if “she [the victim] asked for it.” Although my professor artfully dodged further discussion on this comment, I was stunned, upset, and ultimately undecided as to whether or not I should publicly address my shock and disappointment at this comment. As I was attempting to make up my mind about how to deal with my distress, the class moved along at such a pace that I felt unable to go back and address this student’s comment. I packed up and headed off to my Psychology class. Still reeling from my intensely upsetting experience in Philosophy, the professor told us she was going to read us a story, and after we were to decide with which character in the story the fault lay. The options were: the victim (a woman of course); or her assailant (obviously male). This time the class debate raged on, while the majority of students voiced their belief that the woman was at least half, if not entirely responsible for being assaulted; depending on how sexually active she was, and the location of the assault. Although the professor was attempting to portray the “just world fallacy,” in which people attempt to make the world seem just by blaming the victim, I was horriied to extent that this justiication of brutality has continued to be internalized by both men and women today. Throughout the discussion I tried to calm myself by the thought that at least when people are honest about their beliefs the real issues can be addressed; I am aware that it is very important to create a space for open and honest conversation. But as the Prof. continued to reassure students that there was no right or wrong answer, I was increasingly upset by the opinions that were being raised. Ultimately, my nausea and tears forced me to walk out of the class, completely dismayed at the continuance of this form of sexism and justiications of abuse. It is surprising that people persist in pushing the belief that victims “ask for
it.” What exactly does “asking for it” mean? What is it that these victims are allegedly asking for? I am hard pressed to think of a time when anyone would ask to be forcefully ripped open by another’s penis or foreign object. Rape is NOT a crime of passion, it is a crime of hate. When does anyone ask to be hated and assaulted? The fact that we continue to blame victims of sexual assault by blaming their location or dress is a deeply disturbing thought, and leads me to wonder how many of these pro-rape spokes-people actually know what being raped is like.
When discussing fault one must also discuss responsibility. If something is my fault, then that means it was my responsibility to have caused or stopped something from happening. Is it my responsibility to make sure that I am not held up when I do my banking - what if it is in a ‘bad’ area of town? Is it my responsibility to not get run over by a car on the sidewalk - what if I have my Ipod in and didn’t hear it coming? When is it ever a victim’s responsibility to ensure that a crime is not committed to or against them? It makes me wonder, is it because these people so removed from being able to apply the concept of being raped to themselves, that it remains easy for them to sentence others to abuse? In rape debates inevitably the classical stereotypical woman seems to show up; she is promiscuous, intoxicated, dressed in revealing clothing and in an alley. Does she deserve it? Have any of the traits of this woman ever applied to you? Or are you a fully clothed virgin, who refuses every form of intoxicating substance, and never leaves the house without a male escort.
Understandably Angry Reader
To the staff of the Phoenix, As a member of the group that organized the Anti-Racism display at Okanagan College and a student of UBC Okanagan, I was very disturbed by your article entitled “Racist Anti-Racism Demonstrations at OC” published in your March 25, 2009 issue. While the article’s assertion that racism is a non-existent factor in today’s socie¬ty is highly debatable to say the least, I will not challenge it here as I believe that any informed individual should be able to examine this claim for themself. Sufice to say, such arguments should at the very least have been published under an opinions article and not presented as factual as they were under the Arts and Culture section. My main problem with the article, however, was not the rather biased and simplistic approach that the contributor took towards the issue of racism, but rather the many false claims that he made about the anti-racism display and those who were involved in it. First of all, the article states “certain rebuttals which did not it the purveyors (sic) party line were hastily crossed out.” This is completely inaccurate as no members of the group who created the chalk display altered it in any way after the initial night. I can only assume that the contributor is referring to the fact that there was a response that was removed by the school authorities without our knowledge due to the fact that it contained profanity and was deemed inappropriate. In any case this would not have been dificult to discover had the contributor actually done any investigation. I also took great exception to the personal claims that the contributor makes against me and the group as they make clear that he made no effort to ind out who exactly had been involved in the display. The article states that we labeled ourselves “agents of social change” however no member of our group ever said or wrote anything of the sort. Furthermore, the article claims that we “have only lived in one of the whitest municipalities in Canada.” This I ind the most absurd, as I know that none of us involved are actually from Kelowna. I personally have lived in Calgary, another member of our group has lived in Vancouver, and another in Atlanta, Georgia, a city whose racial issues are impossible to deny. Also, two f other four members of our group are actually visible minorities, which should certainly give them more authority to speak on the issue of racism in Kelowna than the view of the contributor. Not only does the condescending attitude of the contributor in writing the article make me wonder what entitles him to make these claims, but he also takes statements written at Okanagan College out of context and dismisses them as “bizarre” while at the same time accusing us of no “giving the issues(s) much higher thought or reasoning.” The false information the article presents as fact makes me sincerely ashamed to be represented as a student by a newspaper with such poor journalistic integrity.
Let’s do some role reversals, what about when men are raped? Does a straight white male “ask for it” or deserve it when he is anally raped? What if he was walking home alone? What if he was promiscuous, drunk, and in a parking lot? Would you think differently if he was gay? If a straight male doesn’t deserve to be raped for walking home alone at night then why does a woman, or any other minority group? Is it their fault that they are the most common victims of assault? Does doing any action that could possibly put you in danger from a predator negate your status as prey? Friends, there is never an appropriate time to be raped. As I hear the students in my class defend rapists and condemn victims I am overwhelmed by a deep sadness.
Want to write for the Phoenix next year? Send your goods to UBCOPhoenixEditorInChief@gmail.com
OCSU Okanagan College Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Union
April 2009
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The Phoenix
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April 2009
UBC Students’ Union Okanagan
Three Cheers To An Amazing Year !!!
Bobby Chavarie Financial Coordinator, 2009-2010
Carolyn Cody Internal Coordinator, 2009-2010
Ben Glassco External Coordinator, 2009-2010
The UBCSUO Council and Executive for 2009-2010. Not pictured: Richard Dubecki. Photo courtesy of Carolyn Cody.
Throughout the year The Well Pub has been more successful than any other year here at UBC, and as a result, The Well Pub is poised to be the second post-secondary pub or bar in Canada to turn a proit. The inancial success of The Well can be attributed to the work of your Services Coordinator, Ben Glassco, and all of your councilors, for throwing fantastic parties. We hosted many sold out events this year including our Halloween Party, Shad K & Hey Ocean!, Sweatshop Union, BFP, St. Patrick’s Day, Utopia Party hosted by the Women’s Resource Centre, Wild West party, Toga party, and not to mention the ever popular Well Wednesdays. Another popular theme for this year was elections overload! In the fall there were federal and municipal elections and your UBCSUO was able to host candidate meet and greets for students to be informed about election issues and candidates. Elections BC and Elections Canada were both on campus helping students register to vote, and we hope come May 12th students will be engaged and ready to vote in their BC provincial elections.
Grayson Lepp Services Coordinator, 2009-2010
The 2008 – 2009 academic year has been a resounding success for your University of British Columbia Students’ Union Okanagan! We have been able to expand our services, engage the student body through elections and our AGM, and enhance student life on campus.
In March of this year, your Internal Coordinator Carolyn Cody was invited to come to Ottawa as the only student representative for the province of BC to meet with over 200 Members of Parliament and Senators to discuss issues in post-secondary education. We were able to discuss issues impacting aboriginal students and funding structures, the recently passed federal budget, graduate student funding, and a revision of the post-secondary system federally in Canada.
shop. Most notably, your UBCSUO was brought to the Supreme Court of British Columbia regarding an aggressive antichoice campaign brought to UBCO by a club and the Supreme Court found in favour of the UBCSUO. The decision passed down was a pivotal point in the self-determination of a Students Unions across British Columbia. Bobby Chavarie, the Financial Coordinator for the UBCSUO expanded the tax service this year with the help of the Management Department. Now students can have their taxes done free of charge by qualiied fourth year management students without even leaving campus! Course Unions, such as the Management Student Association, have held many events and parties on and off campus this year, as well as BBQs and fundraisers. In addition to events, the MSA has also sent students to business competitions across Canada. Course Unions as a whole have been successful in engaging all students on campus, and not just faculty speciic ones. Clubs have also been very successful in hosting events on campus that celebrate cultural and social diversity. September students can look forward to a project 10 years and 9 million dollars in the making – the opening of our new Students Union Building! It will feature a 350-person capacity Well Pub complete with food service and a patio, a 100 seat movie theatre, new study space, a new used book store, resource centre space and a new home for the Koi Sushi house and Coffee
This year Alexandra Caldwell, our current Board of Governors representative was very successful for students at UBC Okanagan. She was able to present to the board issues surrounding lack of parking on campus, water iltration issues, tuition increases, and the stability of UBC’s endowment funds as a result of the inancial turmoil. Alexandra was reelected to the Board of Governors until May of 2010. Many recently elected councilors have applied themselves early to the roles they will be taking on in May 2009 with great success. Advocacy representative elect Michelle Laviolette is currently sitting on the search committee for UBC’s new Associate Vice President for Enrollment and Spencer Robins, director-at-large elect has been very involved with services and events. We would like to thank all students here at UBC Okanagan for engaging themselves in their Students’ Union, our staff, the administration, our Safewalk employees, Koi Sushi, The Well Pub & Coffee shop staff, and of course to all students for being forced to endure two Senate & Board of Governors elections! Good luck in exams!
Your Students’ Union Executive, Bobby Chavarie, Carolyn Cody, Ben Glassco & Grayson Lepp
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Bye Bye! Have a great summer!