2011.01.20

Thunderhumping to victory since 1918

Outrage as UBC delays hospice over cultural considerations. Page 3

The Forgotten: communities react to MOA’s cancelled show displaying portraits of missing and murdered women. Page 4

U

the ubyssey

JANUARY 20, 2011 volume 92, number xxxiii room 24, student union building published mondays and fridays feedback@ubyssey.ca

2 / u b y s s e y. c a / e v e n t s / 2 0 11 . 0 1 . 2 0 january 20, 2011 volume xcii, no xxxiii editorial coordinating editor

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events classifieds Student or secretary to retype easy and simple tex t by computer. Ideal for computer science student or secretary.

Occasional, part-time work, flexible hours, good pay + bonus for diligence and dedication.

Speed is not a must, but satisfactory experience in typing is needed and acceptable level of mastering English in writing.

Please call 604-618-9187.

Bread Machine. This 1975 movie delves into many issues still relevant today, such as taxes, drug prohibition, monopolies and freedom of speech. If you like debating social and economic issues, you’re in for a treat.

Hosted by the UBC Libertarian Club. • 6:30–8pm, David Lam Amphitheatre, free for members, $2 at the door.

friday, jan. 21 islam awareness week keynote event • Feature Lecture: The

Legacy of Muhammad: Terror or Greatness? Featuring guest speakers Sheikh Navaid Aziz and Dr Syed Ibn Iqbal. • 6:30–9:30pm, Woodward 2, $10, $5 student discount.

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us create this baby! Learn about layout and editing. Expect to be fed. • Every Sunday and Wednesday, 2pm.

performances, entertainment and a DJ celebrating the end of Africa Awareness Conference Week. • 7:30pm, Abdul Ladha Centre, $10 non-members, $7 regular members, $5 premium members.

resource groups • Are you work-

science week carnival • Love the

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ing on a progressive project, but need funding? Do you have an idea, but can’t get it off the ground? Apply to the Resource Groups for funding! Come in, pitch your idea to us and we will consider fully or partially funding your project. For more info, email resourcegroups.ams@gmail.com. • Every Monday, 11am in SUB 245 (second floor, north-east corner).

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I-SLAM: Expressed • Part of Islam

science week kickoff • The opening ceremony for Science Week 2011. It will feature the talents of the Burnaby North Vikings (marching band), the UBC Cheerleaders, a flag ceremony, free food (and cake) and high spirits! Join at any time by falling in step with the parade that will be travelling around campus starting from the Rose Garden.

More festivities will be held at Abdul Ladha Science Student Centre (where there will be face painting and food). • 11am–2pm, UBC campus, free.

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contributors Andrew Hood Nafiza Azad Miranda Martini Sam Markham Pierce Nettling Stipan Soroka Kirsten Doggart Brianne Dempsey Myriam Lacroix Cel Rince Chelsea Sweeney Ignacio Rozada Kyrstin Bain Melissa Gidney Eric Wallace-Deering Jon Chiang

legal The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University of British Columbia. It is published every Monday and Thursday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run student organization, and all students are encouraged to participate.

Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society.

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Letters to the editor must be under 300 words.

Please include your phone number, student number and signature (not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey; otherwise verification will be done by phone. “Perspectives” are opinion pieces over 300 words but under 750 words and are run according to space. “Freestyles” are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of the writer has been verified. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon the day before intended publication. Letters received after this point will be published in the following issue unless there is an urgent time restriction or other matter deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff.

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Awareness Week. Come by for an evening of talent and breaking misconceptions through art, featuring spoken word artist Boonaa Mohammed and local talents. • 6:30–9pm, Woodward 6, $5.

water wars • Water Wars

features an array of water-themed activities. With classics including joust, inner tube water polo and water basketball, this year’s events promise to be a splash!

• 6:30pm–2am, Aquatic Centre, $80–175, register by Jan. 13, go to rec.ubc.ca for more information.

Liberty at the Movies: Flashback to the 70’s • Take a trip back to

disco balls, shaggy carpets and stagflation in The Incredible

SIKILIZA: A toast to Mama Africa • An Afro-fusion night with

carnival? Love happy clowns?

You don’t? We don’t either. No clowns will be there. However, we do have your favourites like a bouncy castle, popcorn and cotton candy. If you love to bounce or watch other people bounce, come stuff your face and join us for a rip-roaring good time. • 12–4pm, in front of Ladha (inside in case of rain), free.

Brain Busters Preliminary •

Do you have what it takes to bust other people’s brains?

Well, then you should prove your intellectual prowess in this year’s new and improved SUS

Jeopardy, BRAIN BUSTERS! Not only will you get to show off your smarts, you will also need to display your creativity.

You can also win one of many great prizes (totaling over $10 0 0). Furthermore, you may have a chance to prove yourselves against an ULTIMATE MYSTERY PROF TEAM! • 1–4pm, Abdul Ladha Centre, finals on Thursday, Jan. 27, 12–3pm, SUB. Get a team of four people, go to scienceweek. ca/events.php#brainprelim for sign-up information.

Meet the Dean: Choosing your academic path • ATTENTION:

ARTS FIRST YEARS! So you’ve survived term one here at UBC, but you’re not sure where to go from here. The AUS First Year Committee is here to help! Not only will our awesome Dean, Gage Averill, be there, but also Arts Advising, department reps, and more! Come by and take the opportunity to figure out your path in UBC academics. • 1-3:30pm, Global Lounge, free.

keynote speaker • Science Week

Quinquagenary presents Dr Patrick McGeer. Dr McGeer is a Canadian physician, professor and medical researcher. He is regarded as one of the world’s leading authorities on the causes and prevention of Alzheimer’s Disease. He was a Canadian basketball player who competed in the 1948 Summer Olympics, a politician who represented the constituency of VancouverPoint Grey in the British Columbia legislature from 1962–1986 and a member of the BC government from 1976–1986. Don’t miss out on an opportunity to meet this incredible man! • 6–7:30pm, Room 1005, Forestry Science Centre, keynote reception 7:30– 8:15, adjacent lobby. Free food included.

tuesday, jan. 25 Open Mic night • Have a story, poem, or a hidden talent that’s been burning in your heart and needs to be EXPRESSED? Want to see your profs showcase their talent and interact with them in a relaxing environment? Come out to the open mic event to showcase your talent and to enjoy a night of festivities and refreshments at the UBC Art Gallery. After the show, stroll around the gallery and take a

look at the visual art on display or enjoy a cup of coffee or hot chocolate while enjoying each others’ company and escaping the cold weather outside! • 6–8pm, The Gallery. rat race • Grab a team of five friends and compete at the funfilled Rat Race! In this event, you and your friends will be given hints that will lead you to different locations around the campus. At each location, your team will complete various challenges ranging from relays to problem solving events.

The team that completes all challenges in the shortest amount of time will be crowned the winner and receive a prize!

Don’t have a team of five? Sign up for the Rat Race individuals and we will match you up with others that want to race in this awesome event. • 11am–3pm, UBC Campus, meet at Abdul Ladha Centre. dissolve–a one-woman performance • As part of Sexual

Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) at UBC you’re invited to a showing of Dissolve, a onewoman play about drug-facilitated sexual assault by UBC alumnus Meghan Gardiner. Gardiner uses emotion and humour to explore this important topic.

Come and see this inspirational and entertaining piece of theatre that has made an impact across campus. • 7pm, Freddy Wood Theatre, email sa.awareness@ ubc.ca for more information.

wednesday, jan. 26 jell-o wrestling • At the annual

Jell-o wrestling competition during Science Week, two competitors will enter a tub full of Jell-o, each with a sock on their foot (provided by SUS). The winner will be the one who is successfully able to remove his or her opponent’s sock, while wrestling in slippery, slimy Jell-o! Pre-registration opens the week before Science Week, so make sure to sign up for a guaranteed spot! Also make sure to fill out the liability form and bring it to the event. • 12– 3pm, SUB Ballroom, go to surveymonkey.com/s/Q2DB9LH to sign up.

$1 drop-in yoga • Join UBC Yoga Club’s Christine Barr for an invigorating yoga session at UBC Bookstore. All levels welcome.

Bring your own mat. Space is limited—first come, first served.

• 12–1pm, UBC Bookstore, $1.

thursday, jan. 27 FYC Capture the flag • Capture The Flag is back! The Faculty of Science is looking to challenge all other faculties to represent themselves at the event.

Brought to you by Science FYC. • 12–2pm, Flag Pole Plaza.

Skeptics in the Pub: Richmond • Skeptics in the Pub is a

long established social event where like-minded skeptics, humanists and freethinkers can get together and discuss and debate over drinks and food in a social, casual atmosphere.

• 7:30pm, Legends Pub, 6511 Buswell St, Richmond, go to cficanada.ca/vancouver for more information. arts career expo 2011 • Won-

dering about career options?

Come discover the diverse career options available to BA grads at the Arts Career Expo.

This event is intended for all year levels and all majors. • 5–8:30pm, SUB Ballroom, $5 until Jan. 21, $8 Jan. 22–26,

2 011 . 01 . 2 0 / u by s s e y. c a / n e w s / 3

News

editor ARSHY MANN » news@ubyssey.ca assistant editor KALYEENA MAKORTOFF » kmakortoff@ubyssey.ca SENIOR WRITER MICKI COWAN » mcowan@ubyssey.ca

Hospice delayed over cultural considerations Micki Cowan mcowan@ubyssey.ca The St John’s Hospice at UBC may be facing yet another blockade to construction—this time due to cultural resistance.

Chinese resident s of t he Promontory Tower on West Mall are voicing complaints about what they see as a cultural insensitivity to Chinese taboos regarding death. The hospice, which would house terminally ill patients, has been proposed to be built next door to their condominiums.

The protest, arranged by Janet Fang, has received signatures in opposition to the hospice from 70 per cent of the building’s residents.

Resident Lucy Lin said the petition for the new proposed location is not about property value, but culture. “We have little children here and we have to pass this place almost every day, many times,” she said.

“For the children, they will ask questions, ‘What’s that place about?’ We don’t talk to people that age about death yet. It’s a bit too early, we feel.”

Lin also said that in China, places like hospices are either in hospitals or a two to three hour drive away.

“I like Canada. I enjoy living here. It’s a multicultural society and every culture gets respected, so we just hope our culture gets respect.”

This is the second time that the hospice location has been protested. Last year, plans to build the facility were halted due to protests that its proposed

Proposed site for St John’s Hospice, the second in two years. Geoff lIster Photo/The Ubyssey

location, next door to a first-year residence, would have been too noisy for palliative care patients.

The current protests have already captured media attention nationwide from major news corporations like CBC, CTV and The Province, and were discussed at a press conference in Richmond on Tuesday.

However, the Chinese community does not universally share Lin’s opinion. Jan Walls, professor emeritus at SFU and founding director of the David Lam Centre for International Communication, was a speaker at a press conference this Tuesday about the hospice. He said that the building’s residents were not representing Chinese culture.

“There is a very widespread and noble Chinese belief that

doing good for others, especially relieving suffering and reducing pain for others, is the highest form of good, whose practice is one of the best ways to accumulate good karma,” he said.

“This extremely positive aspect of a palliative care hospice more than counteracts the negative aspect of being associated with death,” said Walls.

Another speaker at the event, Sherman Tai, who is a Feng Shui expert in Richmond, pointed out the example of the Happy Valley district in Hong Kong, where cemeteries are in close proximity to highly desirable residential districts.

UBC Director of Public Affairs Scott Macrae said that more information needs to be gathered before consultations with the

community can continue or construction of the hospice can begin.

“We’ll be gathering that up over the next month or so and then we get back to the community with what we’ve heard, so we’re just kind of in listening mode at this point and we’ll take it from there,” said Macrae.

Macrae said that UBC will look into the community’s objections, as well as whether or not a hospice would affect property values for the residents.

When asked why the hospice was receiving so much more media attention this year than when students were opposing it, Macrae said he didn’t know.

“Anything that I say would be an opinion. We’re not giving opinions now, we’re listening to them.” U

NEWS BRIEFS AMS elections extended until Saturday AMS elections voting will conclude on Saturday, not Friday, after complications arose with the email distribution of voter IDs this past Monday.

Elections Administrator Erik MacKinnon explained that ballots will be open until 5pm on Saturday, January 22, since the AMS Code of Procedure requires polls be open for five days. Results will also be announced on Saturday.

Council decided on January 12 that the Elections Committee would attempt to institute a Condorcet ballot to avoid suspending AMS Code.

Normally, students are able to vote using their Campus Wide Logins (CWL), but the online platform created for the 2011 voting period required the creation of one-time use passwords and IDs. “After significant work with UBC Enrolment Services, UBC IT Services, and SimplyVoting (our ‘new’ online election platform vendor), we were able to get this ballot totally complete

by Sunday at 8am, with the one caveat that we needed to load the list of student voters into the database on Monday morning… before the ballot could open,” MacKinnon said in an email.

However, few students had actually received their IDs on Monday, and instead the emails were sent to students in intervals starting Monday night. Academic Governing Officer of UBC Enrollment Services Chris Eaton said that all students should have received their unique logins and passwords by now. U

President Ahmadian burns bridges with fellow executives Arshy Mann news@ubyssey.ca AMS President Bijan Ahmadian doesn’t want his fellow VPs reelected to the executive, and he’s making sure students know about it.

In a video posted to his personal blog bijan.ca, Ahmadian made endorsements for the AMS Elections, in which he supported the opponents of current VP External Jeremy McElroy and VP Finance Elin Tayyar.

He scathingly criticized McElroy, attacking his work ethic and stating that he didn’t put in any effort on the projects he was supposed to this year. Ahmadian is also running a campaign on behalf of a number of candidates he’s decided to endorse.

“I [couldn’t] believe that anyone would sink this low in a student government election,” said McElroy. “Everything that he said was absolute lies. It was outrageous.”

Ahmadian’s video was also publicly criticized by VP Academic and University Affairs Ben Cappellacci and VP Administration Ekaterina Dovjenko, both of whom served on the executive with Ahmadian and McElroy.

“The accusations that Bijan makes in his video are of the

utmost slander that I’ve ever seen a person in student politics utter,” said Cappellacci. “I’m personally quite disgusted by what he said.”

Shortly after the video was released, Dovjenko tweeted, “Grateful that my political opinions are not dictated by a 31 year old who has yet to graduate and has a talent show as his achievement.”

In the video, and in an interview with The Ubyssey, Ahmadian claimed on multiple occasions that McElroy is unprofessional, has a poor work ethic and an adversarial approach in dealing with the university. He also argued that he made no progress on any projects in his portfolio.

“We put together a strategic plan for him, for every executive, and he was supposed to have certain accomplishments on them.

He didn’t make any progress on anything,” said Ahmadian.

McElroy refutes these claims, pointing to the completion of comprehensive reports on childcare, student aid, and tuition, progress on the creation of a provincial lobby organization, and bringing the CASA conference to Vancouver all as tangible accomplishments.

He also said that Ahmadian had not achieved the vast majority of his goals outlined in the strategic plan.

“The only thing that he, as President of the largest most powerful student union in Canada, [accomplished] was a talent show,” said McElroy, who went on to say Ahmadian often took credit for the achievements of his VPs. McElroy pointed to the UBC Line campaign as an example.

Ahmadian had said that all progress on that had come from the President’s office. “[For] the rapid transit campaign, originally Elin Tayyar, the VP Finance, and myself were approached by UBC. Bijan wasn’t even part of the equation.

“Their financial support came in the form of hiring a public relations firm in Vancouver to do all of the messaging for us, to produce all of the materials and give us the resources to hire a coordinator. Bijan had absolutely nothing to do with that.”

Ahmadian also claimed that McElroy should have been the one that presented to the Metro Vancouver Board.

But according to McElroy, he was the one who co-wrote the speech with the PR firm, and it was Ahmadian who insisted on doing it himself.

“So for him to say that I should have been doing that, when he commandeered the entire

Ahmadian at a Council meeting. geoff lister photo/the ubyssey

project and then shut me out, is an outrageous accusation,” said McElroy.

Along with his video, Ahmadian is pushing endorsements through pamphleteering, postering and class speeches, taking advantage of a loophole in AMS elections code that allows third party candidates to spend without a limit.

“In all fairness, Bijan could spend a million dollars and drop

[flyers] out of an airplane and, aside from the littering charges he’s going to get, there’s nothing we can do for the elections,” said Elections Administrator Erik MacKinnon.

Cappellacci, however, said that AMS Council will make clear to Ahmadian that his actions are unacceptable next week.

“I think you’ll be able to see that on the meeting of the 26th,” he said. U

4 / u bys se y.c a /c u lt u r e /2 011. 01. 2 0

‘Who speaks for who?’

Museum of Anthropology cancels paintings of missing and murdered women

The portrait of Mona Wilson. Wilson went missing in 2001, and her remains were recovered from the Pickton farm the next year. Courtesy of Pamela Masik

I

Jonny Wakefield culture@ubyssey.ca

n 2005 Pamela Masik, a painter based in Vancouver, began work on a number of portraits. Each would take up a canvas three metres high and roughly two and a half metres wide.

Over the next five years, she would complete 69 of these portraits, on each the face of a missing or murdered woman from the Downtown East Side.

years, Aboriginal women have Masik’s collection of portraits, been pathologized,” said LaThe Forgotten, was set to show roque. “What forces Aboriginal at the Museum of Anthropolowomen to the streets has not gy in the middle of February. been properly addressed [in the “We want to do exhibitions that exhibit].” talk about contemporary issues,” Masik said she did not consaid MOA Director Anthony Shelfront families of the victims ton. In this case, the issue was for fear of adding to the media violence towards women—spebombardment that followed cifically racialized violence. The Pickton’s conviction. “Famwomen pictured in Masik’s porilies would come to me, but I traits either disappeared or died didn’t want to pressure people. by violence, dating back to 1978.

I didn’t want to be like the meThe majority of the women were dia,” she said. “We [kept] them Aboriginal, and the remains updated on what was going on of some were found on serial [and told] them my studio was killer Robert ‘Willie’ Pickton’s always open.” pig farm. “[Society] virtually igErnie Crey, a member of the nored these women,” said Masik Sto:lo Tribal Council, which repin an interview with The Ubysresents eight First Nations bands sey. “My role as an artist [is] to in the Fraser Valbear witness to ley, is a brother of these women.” one of t he murThen MOA candered women. Receled the show. mains of his sis“About a year ago, ter, Dawn Teresa we chose to show Crey, were discov‘The Forgotten’ ered on the PickProject: Paintings Pamela Masik, Artist ton farm in 2004.

by Pamela Masik, In the week since in the belief that the story broke, he has been one the exhibition could be a cataof the most outspoken critics of lyst for discussion about, and a the cancellation. driver for positive change with “To outright cancel it was the regard to gender discriminawrong move,” Crey told The Ubystion and racialized violence tosey. “The photo in the VPD poster ward women,” wrote Shelton in of my sister doesn’t present her in a January 12 release. The museher best light. That was the realium was not able to proceed bety for my sister at that time. That’s cause they had been unable to how she looked.” build a constituency among the Crey’s wish is for the general groups specifically touched by public to learn how Dawn lived this issue. and died. She was mentally disGloria Larocque init ia l ly abled and living in the DTES, brought the complaint to MOA. coping with a methadone addicLarocque is a UBC student in her tion. He said that failing to bring final year of a First Nations Studthe exhibit to the MOA is a lost ies major and a Women’s Studies opportunity. minor. She is also a member of “We need a whole new mindthe Women’s Memorial March set and a series of policies reCommittee, the DTES commulated to health, education, sonity group portrayed in the press cial services, housing and zonas the most opposed to Masik’s ing practices pursued by the city work. of Vancouver,” said Crey, addi–– “I think it’s completely unng that Vancouver has a NIMfair that the Women’s Memorial BY stance towards development March Committee is being porof social programs that leaves trayed as trying to shut down many trapped on the DTES. this exhibit,” she said.

“When she needed a bowl of In t heir discussions wit h soup and she was hungry, where MOA, La rocque a nd fel low did she go for that bowl of soup?”

WMMC member Corinthia Kelhe said of Dawn. “Kerrisdale? ly were trying to make a side exNo. To my knowledge, there are hibit to accompany The Forgotno soup kitchens in Kerrisdale.” ten and to address racialized viIn mid-Febuary, the museum olence against women in depth. will bring in Masik, communiBut Kelly said they were not givty and women’s groups, along en enough time to plan the side with faculties and journalists, exhibit before The Forgotten was to discuss how best to represent canceled. and address global T he Wom violence towards en’s Memoria l women.

March CommitEach party has tee has a numtheir own best -case ber of issues with scenario for how how the women’s to proceed, and likenesses have none of them want been ha nd led.

“The problem is Gloria Larocque, Women’s to move on. Kelly that she’s dealing memorial March, Student and Larocque have called for more conwith women who sultation with families and comdied by violence, and there was munity groups affected by exhibno family consultation in her its before they are decided upon. process,” said Larocque. She was By not doing so earlier, the musealso concerned that Masik was um ended up having an exhibit being portrayed as a voice for that “[lacked] racial awareness,” the families. “My concern is: said Larocque. Crey said the dewho speaks for who? She is not cision to cancel the exhibit was the spokesperson on this issue,” hasty, and wishes it had simply she said. been postponed so these issues Additionally, they took offense could be resolved. to some of the license Masik took Masik has stated that the exin portraying the women. Mahibit will not show at MOA. She sik says she added violent slashplans to open her studio to tours, es and abrasions to the images but for the time being, the paintwhich were not present in the ings will stay put in her studio. mug shots, to symbolize the viShe hopes to eventually take the olence that was done to them. paintings to Ottawa.

What most upset the WMMC Shelton says MOA will act on was the lack of consultation with what is learned from the forum. the families of the victims. For “By cancelling [the Forgotten], one, Masik based her renderings we’re not going to brush this unon a Vancouver Police Departder the carpet in any way whatment poster with mug shots of soever,” he said. U the women. “For many, many

“My role as an artist [is] to bear witness to these women.”

“[Masik] is not the spokesperson on this issue.”

2011.01.20/ubyssey.ca/literature/5

The Ubyssey presents our yearly literary supplement

Section editor TREVOR RECORD » features@ubyssey.ca guest editor GINNY MONACO » gmonaco@ubyssey.ca Illustrators VIRGINIE MÉNARD » production@ubyssey.ca * KYRSTIN BAIN * GINNY MONACO

1 place: Nafiza Azad’s Home st

Nafiza Azad Contributor Home.

It’s a four letter word.

We moved to Canada in 2001. And yes, this is one of those stories, a heartfelt recounting of a farewell.

Only...not really.

My bedroom window used to look out on sugarcane fields, rustling green in the hot sun and on the horizon you could see the blue glimmer of the sea (or the mountains—really it depended on which window you looked out of). There was a grove of banana trees, plump matrons they, assiduously guarding their fruit. And just out of sight was the chicken coop, smelly and dank. It contained a rooster that I was sure took malicious pleasure in interrupting my slumber every morning. Oh, the dreams I had about roast rooster.

Now, if you look out of my bedroom window, you will see the ill-kept backyard belonging to my neighbor. He used to have a lucrative crop of mint growing in it and my summer nights would be spiced by the enervating scent. This horizon doesn’t offer much, just roofs of various houses. A uniform brown with one a different colour, determinedly asserting its individuality.

It is ironic, is it not? Fiji and Canada are, in terms of land mass, a glass of water and one droplet. And yet it is Fiji that holds the memory of space while Canada retains a sense of cohesiveness, a connection if you will, to people and things that hints at a lack of distance.

In Fiji, my bedroom was very basic. A bed, a study table, a wardrobe that was falling apart and empty bookshelves, bare with the hope of being filled someday.

I was given to fancy, so lipstick kisses decorated my door and I put up posters of long forgotten Bollywood heroes on my walls. I didn’t have many clothes, just one basketful. Now that I think about it, I didn’t have much of anything.

It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t know there was anything more to have than what I already possessed.

It is ironic, is it not? Fiji and Canada are, in terms of land mass, a glass of water and one droplet. And yet it is Fiji that holds the memory of space while Canada retains a sense of cohesiveness, a connection if you will, to people and things that hints at a lack of distance.

My room here is a study in excess. My bookshelves are overflowing, and my closet? Let’s not even go there. If I were to justify it, I would assert that I’m trying to make up for what I did not have in my childhood. But it would be a lie. The truth is, I’m just greedy.

The walls of this room are hidden by photographs of flowers, people and places I want to see and wish to go to. There is a poster of Orlando Bloom (though I much prefer him as a blonde Legolas) and Serevi, a rugby player and my childhood hero. And, of course, there is my computer, a sinister collection of machines in the corner.

It takes a while before a space transitions from a place you exist in to a place you belong to. My window (I only have one now) might not look out to green fields and the blue sea shimmering in the distance.

And I certainly can’t hear any rooster in the morning.

But at night, when my head hits the pillow and my consciousness slowly ebbs away, I have that feeling unfurl in my chest.

You know that feeling.

The one that says you are home.

Home is wherever I’m with Ubyssey Welcome to the 2011 literary supplement Ginny Monaco gmonaco@ubyssey.ca I haven’t lived in any one place for lon ger than six months since I was seventeen and we moved out of the house I grew up in. A year after that, I packed my life into four suitcases and boarded a cross-country train.

I t ’s b e e n l o n g enough that I don’t call my parents’ house home anymore. I don’t remember street names or directions to where my old friends live. It doesn’t matter, though. I’ve

lived the last few years like a Tom Waits song: “Anywhere I lay my head, I’ll call my home.”

The Ubyssey’s 2011 literary issue is themed “Make Yourself at Home,” and contains entries dealing with the connections people have to given places. There are stories about cities, squatting, immigration and the people who become our home. Steven Galloway, Ray Hsu and Christine Leclerc judged submissions based on style, creativity and their illustration of the theme.

The submissions approach the theme in different ways and produce wildly different ideas of what exactly “home” can mean. U Make Yourself at Home is this year’s installment of our annual literary supplement. Prizes of $75, $50 and $25 will be awarded to the first, second and third place finalists.

Stories were submitted to judges without author names.

6/ubyssey.ca/literature/2011.01.20

2 place: squat first, talk later nd

Chelsea Sweeney Contributor Rebecca burst into his apartment with an extremely large box filled with spiralling plants and old wine bottles, a traveler’s backpack and a bulging suitcase.

“Oh, hell no!” he told her as she smiled and said brightly, “Hi, Charles!”

She marched right past him and dumped all her things down in an untidy manner.

“You can’t stay here again,” he exclaimed. “This is the third time this year! I have a phone, you know! You could give me warning at least.”

He watched her take masking tape and a roll of aluminum foil out of her box. “You can’t tape up my window! My landlady will think I am growing weed in here!”

“My plants won’t grow in all this light,” she explained, as she covered up the window.

“Is that a rabbit in there?” Charles peered into her box. “I signed three...THREE agreement forms along with my lease that I would not have pets in my apartment. You could get me kicked out if she finds out!”

“She won’t.”

“How will I explain this to my girlfriend?”

“Tell her I’m your sister. Or your cousin.”

“She knows that I don’t have a sister and we look nothing alike!”

“I’m going to need you to sleep on the couch for a few days,” she told him as she started bringing her bags into his bedroom. She shut the door on him.

“Rebecca!” He pounded on the door. “That’s my room! You can’t keep coming over here and taking over my apartment!”

She opened the door to throw him his duvet and pillows. At least five minutes went by before she opened the bedroom door again. A different comforter lay on his bed with different mismatched pillows. There were picture frames of strangers now on his dresser and window sill.

“My landlady was not cool with my rent being late again,” Rebecca sighed, going into his kitchen. “It’s

tough being a student, you know?” Charles trailed behind her. She opened his fridge and drank from his milk jug.

“You know I hate when you do that.” He made a lunge to grab the jug away from her but she just turned her back on him.

“I think this may have expired,” she looked at the expiry date. “Nope, it’s still good.” She put it back in the fridge. Her cell phone suddenly rang.

“It is?” she said to the person on the other end. “The rest of my stuff is on the bottom floor of your apartment building,” she told Charles, covering up the receiver. “Could you bring it up for me?”

“No! Rebecca!”

But he brought up a potted tree, a guitar and an old record player in another box.

She was still talking on her phone when he came back, struggling to get through his doorway. “You can only stay for the night,” he told her. “I have someone else wanting to sleep on my couch.” He paused. “For the next six months.”

She still ignored him. “It’s pretty bad, being walked all over, but that’s the type of person I am. I know you’ll understand.”

“Uh huh,” she said into her phone.

“You’re not listening,” he muttered and walked into the bathroom. It took only a second for him to yell her name. “I’ll call you back,” she told the person on the other end of the line. “What’s the problem, Charles?”

“This is a guy’s bathroom! You are crossing the line here!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, that’s nothing. I still haven’t unpacked all my hair products yet. Don’t worry; I’ll just move all this stuff into this cupboard and my stuff will fit on the counter here.”

“One night.”

“Two weeks.”

“One week.”

“Two weeks.”

“A week and a half.”

“Two weeks.”

“Fine.”

rhythmic tales of depravity and antisocial tendencies, memories of a past life.

Hobbling the first few steps, he oriented himself and with a familiar pace turned onto a bustling avenue. The smell of exhaust and salty pizza was a welcome change from the urinary aroma of the alleyway.

A faded yellow awning caught his eye and he jaywalked across the street to a convenience store stocked with mouthwash and expired Campbell’s soup. He paid in coins for a bottle of Buckley’s cough syrup. Back on the street, he washed down three acetaminophen tablets with a long pull of the syrup, emptying nearly half of the bottle. The ringing muted to a bearable volume, and his feet carried him confidently along the sidewalk, through the crowds of tourists, students, drunks and weirdos. He pursed his lips again, not with pain, but to the tune of some half-forgotten song written in a dingy basement, rehearsed at a drummer’s parent’s house and for a tender moment in time sung with urgent sincerity to packed venues across the country.

The city was breathing now. Streams of humans navigated the grid of streets like vital fluid. Mervin moved alone, conscious of the pace but choosing solitude.

He squeezed his emaciated frame through a crowd of darkly clad smokers and into a familiar doorway. The

two-four beat of hardcore punk rock blasted him upon entry. Moving to the bar as anonymously as possible, he could sense he was being watched. It was a familiar feeling, one he used to enjoy and even capitalize on. Gradually, his presence spread through the dingy pub. Out of the shadows and crowds came high fives, beers, photo opportunities. He dealt with his fans passively: smile, make a smart ass comment and guzzle the inevitable free glass of shitty draft.

Signing an autograph, a ball point pen felt monstrous in his skeletal fingers. A slap on the back from an enthusiastic fan almost knocked him off his barstool. The bands stopped playing and a familiar song came over the sound system. “Be thankful for what you haa-a-ave, tomorrow you could looo-oose it all.” His own voice seemed foreign, a bleary visage of a past self. There he was: transient, drunk, subculture icon, a faded negative of punk rock’s glory days. He put his hood over his head, shook hands with the bouncer and retreated into the maze of darkened streets, the labyrinth in which he made his home. In the pub, Mervin’s vocal prowess rang youthfully over the loudspeakers. Leather-clad patrons bobbed their heads, drank and laughed. Content for another night in the immortalization of his voice, Mervin’s ghostly figure lost itself in the city.

entry: Mervin’s Voice Stipan Soroka Contributor Mervin’s teeth hurt. Or at least what was left of his teeth. The oddly numbered brown stumps that poked through his swollen gums could hardly serve the function of tearing or chewing, let alone maintaining the appearance or speech of a respectable human being.

He sucked at his lips, pursing and protruding them in a weird quasi-rhythmic motion. It was time to move.

The sun had been down for nearly two hours, and soon the atmosphere of this place would become much tenser. This alleyway would turn into a sort of bazaar and the heart of the city would beat with hostility. Opportunity would rear its coercive presence—drugs, sex and violence would assert their reign over these dimly lit backstreets.

Mervin roused himself from his ache-filled lethargy.

His gums were now throbbing, pulsating, ringing into his ears and bouncing around the scrambled contents of his skull. It reminded him of squealing monitors and sold out concert halls, chanting crowds and feedback, the anticipation of channelling all of it into a carefully calculated wall of noise. Raw energy consolidated into

2011.01.20/ubyssey.ca/literature/7

3 place: Migration rd

Brianne Dempsey Contributor The migration had been a long time coming. Years of my fragile Liberal sensibilities, floral and utopian, cradled precariously in the vice grip of the Tories and the tar sands. Grid-like city planning trained into synchronized synapses in my mind.

Cattle farming regulations and First Nations relations a distant but turgid debate. The opulence of warm Chinook winds and tar sand wealth froze into a steely contrast against the stale, dry cold and severe minority disparity. I stole away from my cradled, golf course existence, urban development by urban development, minivan by minivan to discover accents, immigrants and subcultures. Bosnian hippies who played gypsy rock and South African small business owners: they had the whole map at their disposal and they ended up here? They always mentioned potential, potential. Potential I couldn’t see.

Go west, young man, and west it was.

From the prairies where the leaves crunch to dust to the sodden coast where they fall and squish with trash and discarded dog shit into an urban vermicompost.

Layers of rock slab and dense prairie earth stacked like Jenga tiles upon the loamy, fragrant Okanagan bowl.

The Rockies carve an uneven and unruly border, a five o’clock shadow that separates provinces and ideologies.

“The hippies are in the mountains,” I’d hear. Hippies, Australians and retirees with the occasional foreign geologist cluster where the landscape is agreeable and the periphery is quiet. The Coquihalla climbs and tumbles like ringlets past mountain towns and hot springs, marijuana grow-ops and glass-blowing shops.

I stare at the endless waterfront, hitherto starved for saltwater and humid air. Cobblestoned streets and warped and bowed totem poles pepper the “old” western cities, hosting old-growth forests and the country’s oldest Chinatown.

Bosnian hippies who played gypsy rock and South African small business owners: they had the whole map at their disposal and they ended up here?

Here I learn that I’ve not only been trained to be the majority, but to expect to be the majority. I learn that here is not a cold you can prepare for. It is a cold that will make home in your bones. Here I learn that farmers bustle and harvest all year round instead of caged and housed for six months out of the year. Artists, while visible, are still poor. Weather, while mild and welcoming, is still complained about. There is no snow but there is always rain. There are still those that are forgotten about, chastised and invisibilized. Here is a world, just like any other world where people are themselves and entirely human: critical and dynamic. The intermittent squirming of discontent did not cease by simply adding humidity into the air.

The internal circuitry of ambitions and dreams work like highways and flight routes, taking us from Friday dinners and china patterns to political unrest and gentrified neighborhoods and back again. In my mortal, breathing, perspiring mobile home, rest is not in the destination but in the search. A search a long time coming and a long time going.

entry: Home for the holidays Sam Markham Contributor Home. It’s that place you haven’t seen for some time now, and you’re not sure if you want to anymore. You shift your bags on one shoulder. The train blows its horn, loud and jarring, and you nearly drop everything at the sound. As it speeds away, your choice is made for you... not that there was much of one in the first place. You’re here to stay.

You dig in your pocket for your headphones and shove earbuds in your ears then pause and take them out again.

You want to hear this. The kids cycling down suburban streets with screams of laughter on their lips, old men on their porches, swinging in rocking chairs with little old ladies beside them. In a rare moment of longing you want this place you took the long way home to avoid.

The feeling courses through your skin, pulling at your heartstrings finally, the last and most painful stroke.

You rush out of the train station, Chucks slapping on the new pavement. There’s no ride waiting for you because you didn’t want to trouble anyone, and of course, the next wish is they were waiting for you in that old minivan, tired smiles on their faces. Your mother with her huge, bug-eyed glasses on because it’s so late, and your father with a big grin underneath his handlebar moustache.

Hailing a cab is almost as good. You haven’t taken a cab in months, now, in your new city with tall

You won’t live here again. The concept horrified you when you were first leaving for school, but you think you’ve made your peace with it now, even as it just occurs to you.

You wouldn’t be able to see your parents every day, be in this same place over and over again, even though you love them. towers and public transit that’s dirt-cheap for you. You miss it already, the sharp-angled towers and pretty little holes that are out of the way but magic when you find them. It’s the first time you realize you might have two homes now, and you pause a little on your way to the street, hand out for your ride. The cabbie picks you up anyway, and your movement is out of your control again.

Your body is like a compass. You park your bearings in one place to make a new north, and strike out from there. Your body always pulls you back. Already you can feel your home, your old home pulling at you, and you stare out the window with a feeling like sobbing relief. There’s one tear, but no more.

You pass the park you and your brother played in as kids and your old elementary school. When the cab driver pulls around that last curb you’re scrambling to get out. You shove some bills at him, he thanks you for the tip, and you walk slowly up the driveway to the house you grew up in. The lights are on, and you know they’re waiting for you.

You won’t live here again. The concept horrified you when you were first leaving for school, but you think you’ve made your peace with it now, even as it just occurs to you. You wouldn’t be able to see your parents every day, be in this same place over and over again, even though you love them. Even as your compass swings wildly around to this new north, you can feel the faint tug of a new home. You will do great things with your life, and live in many places like a vagrant, like a queen, and even like a normal person with two point five children. This is the first of many north poles.

You open the door with a smile on your face, and move to greet your family you know is waiting for you. For now it is still close enough to your home and, after months that feel like long years, you have returned.

8/ubyssey.ca/literature/2011.01.20

entry: a night in Cel Rince Contributor Stephanie takes her shoes off as she comes into our apartment, back from work. We’re both starving; lunch was hours ago. We greet each other with a hug and a kiss. She hangs her jacket up and flops down on the bed.

“Um, I want something,” she says.

“Ok, what is it?” I pretend to be confused.

“Meh! I don’t want to say it.” She looks away in embarrassment.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I get out a can of Diet Coke. I bring it over and she squeals in delight, grabbing the can and guzzling eagerly. I smile at our near-daily ritual.

After she surfs the internet for a while, Stephanie goes to make dinner. “I’m thinking stir-fry tonight,” she says. Stir-fry is one of the first dishes she made me, and still my favourite. “Should I put celery in it?”

I nod. “Are you sure?” she asks. “I thought you said you didn’t like celery.”

“Meh!” I exclaim.

“Well, okay. Just wanted to make sure because I seem to remember you telling me you didn’t like it...”

Early on in our relationship, I made the mistake of telling her which vegetables I did and didn’t like.

In my parents’ household, most of our vegetables were eaten raw, and Stephanie’s delicious vegan dishes are another thing entirely. Now, I get excited about sales on broccoli.

I play around on my computer while Stephanie cooks. The sound of vegetables sizzling is in the background. Soon, a tantalizing aroma is wafting from the stove. “Work was rough,” Stephanie calls over to me. “I am so tungry.” Tungry is our portmanteau for tired and hungry. Sadly, being tungry is a common state for us.

After a while, Stephanie glances at the table then quickly turns back to her cooking. “I think, I’m not

entry: coming home Kirsten Doggart Contributor I’m replacing tumbling rain With sprawled sheets of snow, Tall cedars and taller still towers For squat buildings, sparse pines and larch, The thumping of the club scene For my father’s fist on my door And his unruly tongue on the subject of my life.

I am replacing my cold, half-dried sheets With the warmth of your arms as you hold me in sleep.

I am coming home.

Early on in our relationship, I made the mistake of telling her which vegetables I did and didn’t like. In my parents’ household, most of our vegetables were eaten raw, and Stephanie’s delicious vegan dishes are another thing entirely. Now, I get excited about sales on broccoli.

The broccoli is tender and succulent. The marinated tofu has a nice spicy kick to it. As we scrape our plates clean, I take off my glasses. Stephanie hands me our decadent smoothie (blueberries, banana, soy ice cream, mango -strawberry juice). I close my eyes and drain the glass, shivering as the icy liquid slides down my throat.

We retreat to the bedroom, and cuddle together on the bed. “So blothy,” I say, patting my stomach. Blothy is our word for bloated and slothful.

Stephanie nods.

“Me too....you know, I love it when you do that.”

“Do what?” I ask.

“Gaze at me adoringly.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, after every meal I cook. It seems to come naturally.”

“Meh!” I turn away and bury my face into a pillow. Unbidden, a smile creeps onto my lips.

“I love you too,” she says.

sure, but I think I saw that the table wasn’t set!

That there was no soy sauce or plates, and instead there was other junk on the table! Now, I might be wrong, since I just took a quick look, but wouldn’t that be so horrid?”

I gasp in mock horror. “Surely you’re mistaken,” I cry out, as I pull out what we need from the fridge and pantry. “Perhaps you should take another look.”

She turns back to gaze once again at the table.

Everything is in its proper position and ready for our meal. “Oh my god, I was so wrong! I am so sorry for doubting you! Please forgive me. Can I make up for it with a wonderful dinner?” This is another daily ritual.

We settle in and eat our stir-fry. As always, it is delicious. As always, we discuss just how delicious. “This is amazing,” she says.

“The tofu is so good!” I reply. I’m not just saying it for Stephanie’s ego. It really is that tasty. Her cooking is the only food that can make me moan.

entry: Montréal Myriam Lacroix Contributor Montréal sets me ablaze with old fires, bends me backwards, lays me down softly in her streets, blows on embers I forgot existed.

Montréal twists and ties me to her lights.

I’ve slid down one too many flights of glittering, swivelling, spiralling staircases.

She is a cold, dizzying bitch who glamours me with rust and paint that flakes to the touch.

Her thick tree trunks and branches Are obscene, and the way she bares them Even more so.

Montréal makes a scene Every time her sun rises.

When it peaks, she’s still dragging her feet And her cigarette.

When it sets, she starts all over again; wastes her nights away dancing with the first one who will take her.

This morning I woke up dirtied with bruises and frost bites, but Montréal did not remember my name.

She has seen too much, her sun has risen one too many times to strange strung out bodies at the foot of her mountain.

Montréal has not missed me.

She has replaced me a thousand times over.

When I am gone, her metros stay warm, her bricks go on crumbling her alleys go on smelling like piss.

Montréal is a cold, dizzying bitch who reels me back in, every time.

2 011. 01. 2 0/ u bys se y.c a /c u lt u r e /9

culture

editorS BRYCE WARNES & JONNY WAKEFIELD » culture@ubyssey.ca SENIOR WRITER GINNY MONACO » gmonaco@ubyssey.ca ILLUSTRATOR INDIANA JOEL » ijoel@ubyssey.ca

comics with miranda martini

Columnists

DC may not be PC, but it’s part of comics history I didn’t grow up read i n g comics. Sure, I had stacks of Archie Digests and Calvin & Hobbes collections and Garfield cracked me up in a way that I don’t fully understand nowadays, but well into university, the appeal of superhero comics still mostly eludes me.

I get why they’re important: the early- and mid-20th century was full of demons and enemies that one couldn’t see and often couldn’t fight back against, and superheroes were called upon to do what the average citizen could not—that is, to take that cultural baggage and punch it right on the nose. I get that. It’s just that I’ve never been sure what superheroes would have to say to me specifically. With a limited range of female heroes, even fewer women of colour and heroes of non-normative sexualities, and a glaringly patriarchal worldview overall, it always seemed to me that superhero comics had become the Man that they were created to undermine. Factor in Marvel and DC’s joint trademark on the term ‘super hero,’ and you can see why it always seemed more sensible for me to stick to indie, local and online work.

A few months ago, though, I came across an article discussing the 75th anniversary of DC Comics, which occurred in 2010. I glanced through the epic

anniversary collection, 75 Years Of DC Comics: The Art Of Modern Mythmaking (which made an appearance on my 2010 wishlist column in November), and it occurred to me that ignoring the DC and Marvel imprints altogether means shunning basically 90 per cent of the most seminal serial comics and graphic novels ever produced, which seems hypocritical for someone who writes a column about comics. In the spirit of self-education, I made it my New Year’s resolution to pick up a range of the best-known and loved DC titles, raid my friends’ parents’ boxes of old penny comics and get to know DC once and for all.

During my quest for enlightenment, I was taken off-guard by how deep the roots of comics go, a by-product of the long-form narrative fostered by the serialisation of superhero comics. Just as some of the greatest Victorian novels were originally issued by the chapter in newspapers and were therefore free—expected, even—to be ludicrously long, the makers of serialised comics are able to take their time drawing out themes, improving the art and building on established characters. The drawback of such narratives is that they make coming in somewhere other than the very beginning really difficult. This is part of why I felt alienated by superhero comics in the first place, but it’s a pain for comics creators as well: in the ‘80s, DC ran the Crisis on Infinite Earths series in part to simplify over 50 years’ worth of discontinuity. (Of course, this

just meant that comics fans started referring to either the pre-Crisis or post-Crisis period in the DC universe, and the only thing that could completely resolve the issue would be to get Superman to rotate the earth backwards so that we’d go back half a century, giving DC the opportunity to rethink introducing something as ridiculously complicated as the Multiverse into comics. But I digress.)

However, this also means that talented writers and artists are allowed to interact with their favourite writers and artists through new interpretations of a character or story. The dopey sincerity and puritanical grit of early Metropolis and Gotham might not appeal to me, but they provided a nourishing soil in which their offspring could flourish: classics like Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta and Watchmen and groundbreaking reinventions of DC franchises like WildCats 3.0 depend upon the work that came before them. That spirit of collaborative storytelling is almost unique to superhero comics and, I think, executed more successfully there than it has been in any other medium. Even the bad comics leave an imprint upon the good ones, occasionally revealing a spark of brilliance that wasn’t obvious in the original.

Getting into superhero comics isn’t a matter of shaking hands across the divide between indie and mainstream, as I previously thought; the comics community is too incestuous for that. It’s

possible t hat the only real divide is between comics that resonate and comics that don’t. And for me, a lot of them definitely don’t. But given 75 years and infinite earths, it isn’t all that surprising that even a fussy indie kid like me could occasionally trip over a gem.

Good to finally meet you, DC. I raise a belated glass of champagne to you and the next 75 years. U indiana Joel illustration/the ubyssey

Outdoors with the VOC

Columnists

Hot springs an immersive experience for all Ignacio Rozada Varsity Outdoor Club Towel? Check. Rubber duck?

Check. Chocolate fondue? Check.

Tent? Check. As I ran through the gear list while waiting for my ride to arrive, it struck me that this was definitely not your average Varsity Outdoor Club trip. No ice axes, ropes, dehydrated food or skis—and we were leaving town at a leisurely 9am. We made it to the trail head four hours later, past Pemberton, through some of the wreckage of the Meager Creek landslide and across a shallow water bar. We unpacked the cars, and the amount of things each of us carried would have been enough to at least nominate some of us for the VOC’s Kitchen Sink Award (www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Awards).

We knew that the campsite was only a short distance away, so we’d have a few hours to recuperate after all.

The directions were a bit sketchy, and I’ve heard of more than one group that returned to the city without having found the almost-mythical Pebble Creek hotsprings. Luckily, one of us had been there before, and after half

Nude and rude with fondue. photo courtesy wc/the voc

an hour of walking down a steep path, we made it to the campsite.

Half an hour later, tents and tarps had been set up and the food was stored atop a bear cache. We headed down the river to the actual hotsprings.

Not much happened after we arrived. No peaks were bagged, elevation wasn’t gained or lost, turns were not had. Instead, we

sat in the beautiful and rustic pools right by the side of the river. We had to spend a few minutes figuring out how to adjust the temperature (throw a gallon jug into the river and haul it back full of cold water), but after that the hard work was to remain hydrated and watch our fingers and toes slowly turn into prunes. It was interesting to watch a group of hardcore

VOCers spend a weekend doing essentially nothing. Some of us were fidgety for the first couple of hours, but the delicious hot water won us over, punctuated by a few dips in the cold river. The rockclimbers among us were happy they got to exercise their forearms during massage time.

Chocolate goes so well with hotsprings it should be a mandatory

item. Later that night we returned to the campsite to have dinner, and when it was time for dessert we headed back down to the river, carrying a few containers with raspberries, bananas, pear slices, kiwis and more.

It is at night when I find natural hotsprings to be at their most beautiful. We lined the pools with candles we brought along and listened to the sound of the river next to us. The force of gravity was the only thing that was needed to keep the pools full and warm. We didn’t have a boombox, but luckily we had people with good singing skills.

We eventually went back to the tents, and the next morning after breakfast we were back in the pools for a final dip. Around noon we started heading back, and after another long four-hour drive we made it back to the city. I had no blisters or bruises to show off and there was no need for Tylenol because my muscles were definitely not sore. It was a nice, relaxing weekend in the backcountry. U To learn about upcoming trips with the VOC, check out ubc-voc.com.

1 0 / u b y s s e y. c a / g a m e s / 2 0 11 . 0 1 . 2 0

games & comics comicmaster, by maria cirstea (elections edition!)

Joke Candidates in the AMS Elections

Kath¥ Yan Li likes pedicure on her toes-toes. geoff lister photo/The Ubyssey

Andrew Hood ahood@ubyssey.ca

symbhala, by rachael freedman (symbhala.blogspot.com)

sazaemon, by meiki shu

Submit your comics to us at ubyssey.ca/volunteer/ submit-a-comic. virginie menard production@ubyssey.ca

U theubyssey.ca

With AMS elections underway, students will undoubtedly notice that some candidates are not like the others.

They differ not in political leanings nor in experience, but rather in seriousness.

With more bravado and pizzaz than the average candidate, many of these mysterious politicians are using fake names. The joke candidates, as they are collectively referred to, are part of a longstanding tradition at UBC. They throw their hats into the ring for various races, intent on gaining some experience, making a point and shocking and awing UBC students.

This year, Kath¥ Yan Li is running for VP Administration with the promise of a more sparkly campus through the creation of glitter fountains. Following the philosophy of WWKD, or “What Would Ke$ha Do,” Kath¥ has taken on a very “Ke$haesque” name. Combining pop star flair with styling experience in Pride UBC, the Journal of International Affairs and (full disclosure) The Ubyssey, Kath¥ promises that her joking won’t stop her from making serious changes to the Student Union Building and clubs if she’s elected.

“The VP Admin no doubt has some issues that need to be resolved, and I believe that if any one of the candidates got elected, they would do a capable job,” Kath¥ said. “But what students need is a charismatic VP Admin who will work and be able to push for a more involved and fun campus by example.”

SuperSexySass, née Sassan Sangsari, is, on the other hand, running for the Board of Governors with the intention of doing away with tuition and allowing students to get into any program they wish. Another of his campaign points is to complete the construction of a Broadway Skytrain in 2012. Despite being roped into the category of joke candidates and being regarded by many students as one, SuperSexySass is set on serving the student community in his run.

“I’m not a joke candidate, but I like jokes,” SuperSexySass responded in an email. “Would I take the [Board of Governors] position seriously? Definitely!

I just don’t take myself all too seriously.”

This audacity to make a difference through fun is reminiscent of The Radical Beer Faction, a group of students responsible for many of the joke candidates in past elections. Most active back in the pre-2004 days of slate campaigning, they were represented in various elections along with other student political alliances. While some candidates ran under real names, some chose strange and quirky monikers that allowed them to be more memorablez. An example of this is the Fire Hydrant (real name Darren Peets) who ran for Board of Governors in 2004, 2005 and 2006. The Fire Hydrant then ran for VP Academic and University Affairs in 2008.

Perhaps the biggest joke of all is that while many candidates have come within just a few votes of victory, no joke candidate has ever won in the AMS Elections. U

Fun fact of the day: The SUB’s address is actually 6138 Student Union Boulevard, not SUB Boulevard. justin mcelroy | coordinating@ubyssey.ca

U theubyssey.ca

2011.01.20/u byssey.ca /opinions/11

opinions

do you care? WRITE US A LETTER » feedback@ubyssey.ca

editorial in Hospice saga, who matters on campus?

Last week, stories began circulating in the national media regarding protests over the hospice which was planned to be built next to some condos on UBC lands. Hospices, which provide end-of-life care to end-of-life patients, were an affront to Chinese cultural values, some residents claimed. Condo owner Janet Fan, in an interview with CTV, said that she was raised to believe that ghosts were associated with death, and was very afraid of this palliative care centre.

This undoubtedly rings a few bells for those who have been on campus and following The Ubyssey for more than a year. Students complained in the previous year when this same hospice was planned to be built around the neighborhoods of Marine Drive and Place Vanier. Naturally, ghosts were less of an issue that time around—critics were concerned that first-year residences would be creating a level of noise that would be incompatible with the needs of a hospice. Thankfully, the university reconsidered.

There is one uncomfortable point that sticks out in this saga. When students came together as a community to complain about the placement of this hospice, it got play in The Ubyssey and a handful of blogs, but that was it. Certainly this was not an issue worth debating outside campus. But when a handful of millionaires—who have no necessary role in the academic functioning of this campus— invoked cultural ethics to complain about the same thing, it got picked up by the national media and debated endlessly.

We’re not blaming the residents for this: they didn’t know a hospice might be built next to their homes when they moved in, and have a right to voice their opinions. But ask yourself this, students: why are these millionaires’ concerns about getting supernatural heeby-jeebies somehow more interesting to national media outlets than the concerns of students?

There’s a certain amount of ethnic tension being exploited in reporting on this, to be sure. Increasingly though, non-academic residents of UBC are being treated as the public face of the area. This is just another example of how the university lands are treated as though they don’t belong to the people they’re actually intended for. When an apartment rising against UBC gets more attention than when students doing the same thing, it’s a problem. U elections matter. referendums matter more Saturday night, after a lackluster election typified by uninspired campaigning and personality heightened over policy, our next AMS Executives will be mercifully elected.

Should you be as tired of AMS hackery as expected, do we have a surprise for you! Because in just six(!) short(!) weeks(!) there will be a referendum.

And like it or not, you should care about it.

The main point of the referendum will be to vote on renewing the UPass at a slightly higher rate of $30 per month. However, there will be a slew of other questions that will ask you to raise student fees to benefit the AMS, campus clubs, CiTR and yes, even The Ubyssey. There are two reasons for this. One is that a UPass referendum is the only time more than a smattering of students are motivated enough to vote in campus elections, so quorum is guaranteed—you don’t need to convince students to come out to the polls, only to vote in favour of whatever it is you’re proposing.

The other reason, however, is that the AMS, having not had their fees raised for many years, are facing a financial strain and would very much like more money from you (full disclosure: so would we).

So a debate will happen over the next two months, in which some student groups will be claiming that they need more money, while other student groups will tell you that those organizations don’t deliver any value.

Truth is, after two years in which they have heard of many foolish things their student union has done, many will be skeptical of giving the AMS more money. They do need it, if only to continue the tangible— if not newsworthy—services they provide on a regular basis. But groups must make a clear link between what the money is for and where it will go.

“Engaging students” and “lobbying governments” won’t be calls that will convince students to hand over money.

That, aside from anything else, is what we hope from whomever is elected on Saturday. Because while it’s one thing to campaign for yourself, it’s another thing to campaign for more money. U

james young graphic/the ubyssey

opinions

AMS detached from issues that affect students on campus Eric Wallace-Deering Contributor The AMS election season is in full swing and once again the attitude of the student body looks to be one largely of indifference. There isn’t even a dynamic race at the top of the ballot for students to divide themselves along their oft-stereotyped choices of being either Knoll-loving hippies or university-supporting neo-facists.

Counter-intuitively to many in the AMS and UBC blogosphere who seem to delight in political bomb-throwing and “gotcha” moments, a lack of campus drama could be the start of a new political life within the AMS that may eventually motivate more students to vote.

Quite simply, the silent majority of students that I have encountered over five years at UBC who cut across the social strata—athletes, international students, Rez rats, commuting students, Greeks— don’t really care about the Great Political Debates. They appear to have little to do with our time here as students.

However, there may be some things I wouldn’t mind the student politicians in the AMS getting angry about. What really grinds my gears is when I’m expected to pay over $3 for a slice of pizza, or the highest price for beer on campus at establishments that are supposed to be run in my best interest. A complaint I hear constantly from the silent majority and those on the political inside alike is about the lack of student life on campus. Why isn’t anyone looking at the Student Life Committee and the tens of thousands of dollars spent on programs every year like Shinerama, Firstweek and the concerts at the PIT? When these events have been successful (i.e. this year’s Shinerama campaign being named the best in Canada), it has been with a lack of support from the AMS itself.

Or, if student politicians wanted to address a major issue impacting the daily lives of all students living at UBC, how about dealing with the lack of study space on campus? Certainly the AMS could lobby the University to extend the

hours of the overused study spaces in IKB and Koerner, and open up the spaces that bar students from outside faculties studying in them, like the Life Sciences and Computer Science buildings.

Seemingly lacking the political sex appeal of their predecessors, my issues have the cachet of being actionable in the short term and appealing to UBC students who aren’t politically minded. Yes, I want my AMS to be looking out for the long term interests of students on this campus. But too often student politicians try to create political wedge issues that simply aren’t there.

They try to turn this campus into a laboratory for their attempts at Machiavellian and Karl Rovian-style political games. This simply doesn’t resonate with the majority of students who aren’t looking to politicize their student experience. Give me a candidate with a platform that will lead to my life definitively improved over the next year, and they’ll have my vote—and engage with the many other students dissociated from main stream campus politics. U

The end of student unions (as we know them) Pierce Nettling Contributor As we, the children of the Lost Generation, embark on our annual tradition of student elections, candidates of all political stripes will repeat the same promises from last year about freezing tuition fees or fixing the student loan program. Sure, little measures can be achieved, but for those fundamental concerns, they’re all talk and no action. This is not just an AMS issue, but also the fundamental problem of a student union.

If you weren’t paying attention, last year wasn’t a good year to be a student or a middle-class young person. The political events in Europe systematically rendered their political vehicle, the student union, obsolete. Last December in England, the national student union failed to stop a 300 per cent rise in the tuition limit ceiling. The union failed due to its leadership and its political ties to the previous government that introduced tuition fees.

But what’s exactly wrong with student unions—in Canada?

The purpose of a student union The political success of a student union is predicated on its legitimacy as a collective political power against its opposing institution or group. Without this legitimacy, student unions cannot be effective in advancing their agenda through lobbying, which is the purpose of the AMS. In British Columbia, our student unions are absent of any unified political power.

Education is a provincial obligation in Canada; therefore, the focus of the AMS must be directed at Victoria and not Ottawa. From my own experience, the national unions in Ottawa routinely devolve into AMS Council-like shenanigans over Palestinian aid. Our two national, opposing unions function only to release research findings and press releases, but there’s no real power behind their emails, as they’re politically irrelevant.

Unlike the Quebec student unions which don’t have an oral fixation with Ottawa, English Canada continually splinters into rival groups, weakening our power and effectiveness. We divide; the provincial government conquers;

students and young people lose out on a future.

The Problem with the AMS: The Activist and Lobbyist In the AMS, there are two political factions and ideologies that drive the union: the activist and the lobbyist. Each group is after the same goal, but they differ in tactics and provincial party identification. The obsession with provincial politics has blinded both sides to the reality of student politics: political identifications have no bearing or purpose within the AMS—the government is the government; it doesn’t care if you share its political identification.

The failure of our political culture to delineate “the government” from “political party A and B” is the great undoing of its purpose.

Tactically, these two binaries together forget a truism of student politics: you cannot successfully partake in “lobbying and negotiations” without the political clout and legitimacy created through constant political pressure and activism. Remember Farm Trek? U

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OUR CAMPUS

Jon Chiang jchiang@ubyssey.ca Students in Astronomy 310 took a trip to the Irving K Barber Learning Centre for a demonstration of “how fucking huge the solar system is,” according to one student. In this scale model, Eris, our solar system’s tenth planet, nearly reached Koerner Library (picture not shown). U Jon Chiang Photo/The Ubyssey

The Ubyssey wins two JHM awards Last week, The Ubyssey attended the 73rd Annual National Canadian University Press Conference, hosted by the McGill Daily in the beautiful city of Montreal. There, we attended dozens of seminars, defeated our rival paper The Gateway in a dance-off and, most importantly, won two John H. Macdonald awards for outstanding student journalism, the highest honour for a campus paper in Canada.

Photo editor Geoff Lister won in photography for his portrait of three members of UBC’s ski team, while news editor Arshy Mann took home the award in Diversity Reporting for his piece entitled “The Most Important Haircut of My Life.” This marked the second consecutive year we have won more JHM Awards than any other publication in Canada, and the fourth straight year we have won at least one “Johnny.” As always, many thanks to our readers for continuing to support us.

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