April 16, 2012 (16 pages) by The Ubyssey

April 16, 2012 | VOL. XCIII ISS. LIV

04.16.2012 |

Employing blind sports writers SINCE 1918

Year in Review U-PASS SUMMER BLUES a year like any oTher . Monthly U-Passes only available during enrolled terms excepT When iT Wasn’T

2011-2012 was not a year of wild change or giant demonstrations. The university moved forward on a number of issues that had stymied them for some time, folded to public pressure in other places, and watched as their sports teams did better than other sports

teams. Sort of like most years. For most students, it was another year of attending classes, making friends and, in the middle of February, reflecting on how the death of a quiet elderly man with a chair and a newspaper could silently touch so many people.

THE UBYSSEY

SCHOOL’S OUT U FOR SUMMER I GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

sTUdenTs declare

COURTESY UBC ATHLETICS

Five years oF Women’s

vicTory on gage soUTh

volleyball dominance

BC’s land use department, Campus and Community Planning (CCP), has been looking for places to increase housing density on campus. They slated the area around the bus loop, known as the Gage South “Area Under Review,” as a site for future housing that would include faculty and families. In September, a small group of students launched a petition to keep Gage South as an area for student housing only. Because of its proximity to MacInnes Field, where outdoor concerts are held in September and April, the worry was that including non-student housing in the area would take away the freedom of students to use the space. After many contentious consultations and accusations that CCP was operating in a non-transparent and manipulative manner, CCP decided in March to recommend that the Board of Governors designate Gage South as “Academic.” This would keep the area’s housing for students alone. The student leaders of the movement, the most vocal of whom were Neal Yonson and Sean Cregten, declared victory.

n November, we ran a long feature that examined whether the UBC women’s volleyball team was the greatest dynasty in the university’s athletic history. If there was any doubt, this year’s performance may have erased it. The T-Birds entered the Canada West final as the No. 1 seed, but were upset by the University of Alberta Pandas Is it fithad foralready schools in five sets. Yet they clinched their spot in the nationals, and still entered the tournament as a in 2012? force to be reckoned with. In the national championship game they once again faced off against the Pandas, and, spurred on by a spectacular fourth set, emerged victorious. This was the T-Birds’ fifth straight championship, a massive accomplishment in a very competitive league. UBC will only lose two players from this year’s team, giving them a very good chance for another championship in 2013. One of the players leaving is Kyla Richey, who now joins four other former Thunderbirds on Canada’s national team as they vie for a spot in the Olympics.

We break down the 2011–2012 year

P3–6

P10

POV FEST

Travers Wimble

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

Ubc commUniTy rallies

aroUnd rUmana monzUr

ast June, UBC Master’s student Rumana Monzur was brutally attacked and blinded by her husband while at home in Bangladesh. The story became international news, and the campus mobilized in widespread support for Monzur. A university-wide fundraising campaign aimed towards her recovery hit $61,000 by late July. The university reserved housing for Monzur, her two parents and five-year-old daughter. UBC also arranged financial support and made accommodations to help the now-blind student finish her thesis. Despite multiple surgeries in Vancouver, Monzur has not regained her eyesight. In December, her husband died in custody at the Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujib Medical University in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

passes aWay

n the evening of February 8, Firehall 10 responded to a call that somebody was lying motionless near the junction of University Boulevard and Wesbrook Mall. When they arrived, they found a deceased male who was soon identified as Travers Wimble. Wimble, who was homeless, had occupied a chair in the SUB every day for at least six years, reading newspapers and drinking coffee. The chair was empty on February 9. When students realized he had passed away, the outpouring was unprecedented. Within hours of the news breaking, a few newspapers and a Starbucks coffee cup were

placed on his chair. Then, a bouquet of flowers and a candle. By the end of the day the chair had become a monument that attracted the attention of every passerby, and the news continued to spread. More information about Wimble slowly emerged, including that his wife and daughter had been killed in accidents years ago. The story crashed The Ubyssey’s servers, sending more than ten times our daily readership to the site. A memorial is now being built for Wimble, as a tribute to his daily, but quiet, presence in the lives of students. As our story put it: “He didn’t have a home. But he had a community.”

Film students show off their year-end projects

SLIP SLIDIN’ peeked inTeresT phoTo creeping AWAY I

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

t is almost impossible to guess what will captivate the attention of students on any given day, but an anonymous photo-sharing site did the job earlier this year. Peeked Interest, a website that allows you to upload a photo of an attractive stranger in the hope that they will see it and respond, was launched by UBC student Frans Kouwenhoven and former University of Victoria student Darryl McIvor. The Ubyssey’s story about Peeked Interest quickly went viral after being posted in March, racking up nearly 5000 page views since then. The website has now been taken offline to work on improvements over the summer, but it reports that 450 photos were uploaded over a six-week trial period and 45 people reached out to a submitter after recognizing themselves in the photo.

$50,000 slide still on the table for new SUB

2 | Page 2 | 04.16.2012

What’s on 16

MON

This week, may we suggest...

MUSIC >>

Our Campus

One on one with the people who make UBC

UBC Trombone Choir Recital: 4:30pm @ UBC Music Building

Woah! UBC has a trombone choir? A number of quartets, duets and solo trombonists will take the stage at Gessler Hall to wow you with their prowess at this shiny, slidey instrument. It will be just like seeing, you know, that famous trombonist everyone likes.

17 TUE

DRINKS >>

19 THU

ART >> KAI JACOBSON/THE UBYSSEY

In his spare time, Heisler practices the swinging trapeze. “I’ve been doing that for a few hours every Monday night. It’s exhilarating— flying through the air, hanging by your ankles.”

#bemyamigo @ The Union Bar Feeling in the mood to socialize? The Union will host its fourth #bemyamigo event this Tuesday. $8 will get you one of the 20 seats at the communal table, a highball or pint of Pilsner, and access to food and beer specials.

18 WED

EXAMS >>

Take an exam: all day @ UBC Point Grey Campus If you’re a student here, you may have to take an exam. Exams gauge your aptitude in a given area of inquiry. Just remember to study—the act of memorizing and applying learned information—a few days before!

20 FRI

UBC’s “most powerful” student talks graduating Jonny Wakefield Managing Editor, Print

Tiny Homes @ Emily Carr If you need some creative inspiration, head down to Emily Carr for an open lecture on tiny dwelling spaces. The talk will feature over 150 DIY projects, from homes to garden sheds, all under 500 square feet. Author, photographer and editor Lloyd Kahn will also be there to present his new book, Tiny Homes, Simple Shelter: Scaling Back in the 21st Century. Emily Carr Lecture Theater, Room 301, 7-9pm. Free.

CRAFTS >> Make It! Craft Fair: 4–9pm @ Croatian Cultural Centre One of the raddest craft shows in town, Make It! is a shopping event that brings some of Canada’s top artisans under one roof. Enjoy a day of music, food and retail therapy. Tickets are $5 at the door.

Got an event you’d like to see on this page? Send your event and your best pitch to printeditor@ubyssey.ca.

THE UBYSSEY April 16, 2012, Volume XCIII, Issue LIV

EDITORIAL

Coordinating Editor Justin McElroy

coordinating@ubyssey.ca

Managing Editor, Print Jonny Wakefield printeditor@ubyssey.ca

Managing Editor, Web Arshy Mann webeditor@ubyssey.ca

News Editors Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan news@ubyssey.ca

Art Director Geoff Lister

art@ubyssey.ca

Culture Editor Ginny Monaco

culture@ubyssey.ca

Senior Culture Writer Will Johnson wjohnson@ubyssey.ca

Sports Editor Drake Fenton

sports@ubyssey.ca

Features Editor Brian Platt

features@ubyssey.ca

Copy Editor Karina Palmitesta copy@ubyssey.ca

Video Editor David Marino

video@ubyssey.ca

Senior Web Writer Andrew Bates abates@ubyssey.ca

Graphics Assistant Indiana Joel

BUSINESS

CONTACT

Business Manager Fernie Pereira

Business Office: Room 23 Editorial Office: Room 24 Student Union Building 6138 Student Union Blvd Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z1 tel: 604.822.2301 web: www.ubyssey.ca

business@ubyssey.ca

Ad Sales Ben Chen

advertising@ubyssey.ca

Accounts Sifat Hasan

accounts@ubyssey.ca

Webmaster Riley Tomasek

STAFF

Bryce Warnes, Catherine Guan, David Elop, Jon Chiang, Josh Curran, Will McDonald, Tara Martellaro, Virginie Menard, Scott MacDonald, Anna Zoria, Peter Wojnar, Tanner Bokor, Dominic Lai, MarkAndre Gessaroli, Natalya Kautz, Kai Jacobson, RJ Reid, Colin Chia, Ming Wong, CJ Pentland, Laura Rodgers, Jeff Aschkinasi, Collyn Chan, Anthony Poon, Vinicius Cid, Veronika Bondarenko, Yara De Jong, Evan Brow, Zafira Rajan

Print Advertising:

604.822.1654 Business Office:

604.822.6681 advertising @ubyssey.ca

ijoel@ubyssey.ca

webmaster@ubyssey.ca

feedback@ubyssey.ca

LEGAL

The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University of British Columbia. It is published every Monday and Thursday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run student organization, and all students are encouraged to participate. Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society. The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP’s guiding principles. Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include your

phone number, student number and signature (not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey; otherwise verification will be done by phone. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon the day before intended publication. Letters received after this point will be published in the following issue unless there is an urgent time restriction or other matter deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff. It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad.

Sean Heisler doesn’t hesitate when he describes his first meeting with the most powerful people at UBC. “Oh, it’s terrifying. It’s so terrifying,” he said of his first time at the Board of Governors (BoG). “They are all CEOs of different companies, people who sit on four different boards: their life is being a board member. “Then there’s me.” Heisler is the outgoing student representative on the BoG—UBC’s final decision-making body on big-picture issues like finance and land use. He found his way there haphazardly, deciding to run in the election the night before applications were due. He managed to win the seat, and walked into the first meeting with little more than a coffee date with the two outgoing UBC-Vancouver students for guidance. “The most terrifying thing was when I was handed the docket,”

he said, cringing at the memory. “It’s this three-inch docket of papers. I sat for three hours, flipping through this thing, trying to make sense of anything.” Out of those early sink or swim moments, Heisler has grown into an experienced navigator of UBC’s top-level bureaucracy. He helped make decisions with millions of dollars. He held a coveted all-access BoG parking pass. And he’s lunched with the university president, Stephen Toope. “I don’t think he has any leisure time,” he said of Toope. “He does a lot of reading, and I think he has a ping-pong table.” Now, Heisler is moving on. After speaking at the convocation for part of the engineers graduating cohort, Heisler will no longer be what some have called the “most powerful student on campus.” Heisler immediately scoffs at the suggestion. “The whole ‘most powerful student on campus’ thing always made me laugh,” he said. “I never thought I had any power.”

Heisler said that while each member of BoG has a vote, voting doesn’t happen in blocs. The most a student can do is contribute to the consensus process. But during his time on BoG, Heisler thinks students won a number of important victories. He points to the zoning of Gage South as academic, as well as the refund of the Sauder building fee to students. He also thinks the Board made real progress on housing concerns by investing money from other on-campus developments in student residences. So what does one of the most powerful students on campus say to a group of his peers, going out into the world? “I haven’t decided what I’m saying,” he admitted. “I want to avoid the very typical ‘It’s been a tough four, five, maybe seven years for people, but we’re all moving forward to brighter things.’ Something with a little more edge, insight. We’ll see. “I just don’t want to talk about me.” U

Thanks for reading this year, UBC. We’ll be back with new issues and web content on May 14.

04.16.2012 |

Year in Review

A year like any other. except when it wasn’t 2011-2012 was not a year of wild change or giant demonstrations. The university moved forward on a number of issues that had stymied them for some time, folded to public pressure in other places, and watched as their sports teams did better than other sports

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

COURTESY UBC ATHLETICS

Students declare

Five years of women’s

victory on gage south

volleyball dominance

n November, we ran a long feature that examined whether the UBC women’s volleyball team was the greatest dynasty in the university’s athletic history. If there was any doubt, this year’s performance may have erased it. The T-Birds entered the Canada West final as the No. 1 seed, but were upset by the University of Alberta Pandas in five sets. Yet they had already clinched their spot in the nationals, and still entered the tournament as a force to be reckoned with. In the national championship game they once again faced off against the Pandas, and, spurred on by a spectacular fourth set, emerged victorious. This was the T-Birds’ fifth straight championship, a massive accomplishment in a very competitive league. UBC will only lose two players from this year’s team, giving them a very good chance for another championship in 2013. One of the players leaving is Kyla Richey, who now joins four other former Thunderbirds on Canada’s national team as they vie for a spot in the Olympics.

Travers Wimble

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

Ubc community rallies

around rumana monzur

passes away

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

Peeked interest photo creeping

4 | Year in Review | 04.16.2012

Banner year for

Wacky ways people have found ubyssey. ca

thunderbirds football

ince 2006, the only thing to look forward to in each UBC football season has been the Shrum Bowl. The team simply wasn’t good, bordering on irrelevant. But that all changed this year, with a rollercoaster of a season that captured the attention of thousands of students. In his second year as UBC’s coach, Shawn Olson managed to completely revitalize the program. The former Vanier Cup-winning quarterback took Billy Greene under his wing. By the end of the year, Greene was not only the best quarterback in the country, but the best player in the country. UBC finished the season 6-2, and won all four of their home games. Prior to this year, UBC hadn’t won a home game since 2008. They finished second in the Canada West and won a home playoff game, a feat they hadn’t accomplished since 1999. Over 3000 fans came to Thunderbird Stadium to watch the ‘Birds beat Saskatchewan 27-22 in the Canada West quarterfinals. The following week, UBC was blown out by Calgary in the Canada West final. And then, insult onto injury: after the season ended, the T-Birds selfreported that they had accidentally used an ineligible player all season. The Canada West stripped them of all of their victories, and left them with an official record of 0-8. This made Billy Greene the only player in Canadian university history to play for a winless team and be named the national MVP.

Oh, Internet. Here are some of the oddest ways people have used a search engine to click through to ubyssey.ca this year. We’ve edited this list for most of the filthy, pornrelated searches. The information is presented as keywords followed by the number of visits. beaker muppets 1268 vagina 157 feminist porn 60 sexy comics 47 nyse: jci 44 getting laid in france 21 yogurt as lube 17 best place to get laid totem park 16 wire story 14 goofle 12 block party jonny wakefield 11 is ubc okanagan a good school 11 where is the ubyssey office 10 university of a billion chinese 9 no school spirit 7 how to become a chick magnet 6 naked ubc 6 steampunk symposium 6 the help white people solve racism 6 why i lwft ubc 6 marijuana 5 masturbation 5 racism in canada 5 too many pharmacists bc 5 what is soaking prayer 5 justin mcelroy irish hating asshole 5 do men like smiling women 4 getting laid 4 horny 4 how to be a chick magnet in high school 4 study drugs 4 what is ubc vista 4 gregor robertson handsome 3 norwalk virus 3 sex at ubc 3 who are ahmadian 3 are rugby players on steroids 2 bob marley smoking 2 does a ubc degree worth? 2 i am student but have not been laid

DAVID ELOP/THE UBYSSEY

Ubc switches to broad-based

admissions

BC is set to become the first large university in Canada to use broadbased admissions across all faculties. This means that instead of exclusively focusing on grades as a basis for admission, the university will look at extracurricular activities and life experience. Until now, Arts and Commerce were the only major faculties to use broad-based admissions. The response to this change has mostly been positive. The Globe and Mail ran a very supportive column, seeing this as a move to diversify UBC’s stagnating student culture. Coupled with an increased focus on Grade 11 marks for early admission and the abolishment of the President’s Entrance Scholarship, which was based solely on marks, UBC is making significant changes to the way it takes in students. It is no coincidence that UBC’s admission system is starting to look very similar to that of Ivy League schools. GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

Bookstore makes a shift to

retail

he UBC Bookstore was an unexpected source of controversy this year. It was originally set to change its name to “UBC Central” in August, but this was met with an outcry from students and faculty who were upset at the de-emphasis on books. A petition against the name change gathered nearly 1000 signatures, including the dean of Arts, Gage Averill. The Bookstore decided to postpone the name change. The primary motivation for the name change was to offset dropping book sales by increasing other retail sales. In October, a Ubyssey investigation revealed that the Bookstore had told at least one merchandise supplier to cut off an AMS store or risk losing its Bookstore contract. And in April, the Board of Governors approved a $5 million expansion for the Bookstore—all for non-book retail space.

Liberal budget disappoints

hen the BC Liberals announced their budget for the year, there weren’t many places getting an increase. But only one sector received a substantial cut: post-secondary education. Universities, colleges and other institutions will have to cut a total of $70 million out of their budgets over the next three years. And although the provincial government has said these cuts won’t affect student programs, the effects of cuts to rural colleges have already shown that claim to be untrue. While large research universities like UBC won’t feel the pinch right away, Pierre Ouillet, UBC’s VP Finance and Operations, has said that this funding model is not sustainable for the university. We don’t yet know what the consequences of these cuts are going to be, but they certainly won’t be good.

KAITLYN TISSINGTON/THE UBYSSEY

Cold showers at totem brings out internal animosity

hen UBC opened two new residence buildings in Totem Park last August, nobody anticipated the array of problems the super-sustainable structures would encounter. The buildings had issues with the water heating system almost all year, making the showers so consistently cold that students in the new buildings received monetary compensation for their discomfort. There were also issues with exposed wiring and plumbing in common areas. The episode underscored the sometimes strained relationship between student employees of Student Housing and Hospitality Services (SHHS) and their superiors. Residence advisor Laura Fukumoto wrote a scathing piece in The Ubyssey, attacking the paternalistic way SHHS had handled the situation. Fukumoto said that RAs received the brunt of student frustration, but got little help from their bosses, who mostly smiled and said not to worry. SHHS said they will use the summer to fix the technical problems at Totem, and have fast-tracked the renovation of the older buildings. Whether the systemic issues can be repaired as easily remains to be seen.

universities

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

Interned japanese-canadians receive honorary degrees

uring the World War Two, 76 Japanese-Canadian UBC students were interned and not allowed to return to UBC to complete their degrees. Mary Kitagawa, a fourth-generation Japanese-Canadian, started a petition last fall to grant honorary degrees to these former students, but the UBC Senate hesitated. Instead of issuing an honorary baccalaureate, UBC wanted to find a different way to honour the students because this was a special case that didn’t fall under the normal tribute policies. After public outrage about the delay, the Senate finally decided in November to create a new type of honorary degree with a different title, along with creating a minor in Asian-Canadian studies and a tribute symposium. The degrees will be presented at a special ceremony for the former students in May. “I always considered myself a UBC student,” said honorary degree recipient Mits Sumiya, who was interned during the war. “It’s a great feeling,” he said of the honorary degrees. “It’s like coming home.” U

The People

04.16.2012 |

he Ubyssey doesn’t do a “Person of the Year” like Time magazine for a whole host of reasons. But as another year ends, we feel it’s important to highlight some of the people around campus who have shaped the issues UBC talked about. Some of them we’ve periodically profiled throughout the year—but all of them are worthy of praise.

Ifran Reayat & Erik MacKinnon

Richard Lam

The Alum Who Gives Back

The Rabble-Rousers

Deb Pickman & Wilson Wong

The Unsung Communicators

ay back in September, Irfan Reayat had the idea of unionizing the AMS security guards—something the AMS was not exactly keen on. His actions spurred an escalating conflict of bitter feelings between the AMS and the now-unionized security staff, and may result in a strike before it’s resolved. And during the summer, Erik MacKinnon resigned his position from the AMS Budget Committee due to their decision to give executives a pay increase in the middle of their term without going through proper channels. For both Reayat and MacKinnon, their persistence has led them to have more than a few enemies—but has also forced the AMS to own up to their decisions in a very public way.

o say Richard Lam has had a good year might be an understatement. After shooting most of the Stanley Cup playoffs, Lam’s famous photo of the riot kiss went viral. But Lam’s year was only warming up. The Rugby World Cup hired Lam to manage a venue in New Zealand and he was in Mexico for the Pan Am Games in October. Yet between whirlwind tours of world sporting events, Lam still shoots for the UBC Thunderbirds. He’s been doing it for years, starting when he took over the photo editor position at The Ubyssey in 1996. He’s one of the few constants in the revolving door of student athletics, and is always willing to lend a helping hand to young photographers. He’s also a professionally successful alum who works very hard to stay in touch with the campus community, a rarity at UBC.

here are plenty of games, screenings and performances happening on campus nearly every weekend of the school year. But aside from periodic write-ups by this paper, most of the students competing and performing would go unnoticed if not for the yeoman’s work of Deb Pickman and Wilson Wong, who handle communications for UBC theatre and film (Pickman) and UBC Athletics (Wong). They write up previews of events, tweet anything related to their respective performers and work diligently to raise the profile of some of the most involved students on campus. An extra compliment goes to Wong, who started the job just weeks before the school year began with no institutional support, and has spent far too many days working long into the night.

Brian Vincent & John Hepburn

Alyessa Koehn

Sean Cregten & Neal Yonson

hile animal research continues to go on at universities across Canada, it’s only at UBC that the battle over the ethics of the practice truly rages. That’s due largely to the efforts of STOP UBC Animal Research founder Brian Vincent, who has spent the year heading an organization that criticizes UBC’s practices on a weekly basis. This was the case last year as well. But in November, something changed: UBC decided to release partial numbers on animal experiments, and VP Research John Hepburn oversaw a process that led UBC to become a little more open about the research done here. The decision didn’t assuage STOP’s fury, but it led to this campus being the only one in Canada that deals with this divisive issue through honest debate.

t UBC, “student leadership” brings to mind a specific mindset: idealism, multitasking and caring about everything far too much. Alyssa Koehn embodies this mindset with a tirelessly upbeat attitude. Over the past year, she’s heaped her plate high with involvement and come back for seconds: she led the Student Leadership Conference and ran for AMS president, on top of her previous experience in the Senate, UBC Rec, Housing and an AMS referendum. “I have a pretty hard time saying no to anything because I want every experience,” said Koehn in a January Ubyssey interview. Although she lost the presidential race to Matt Parson, she has unquestionably left her mark on UBC and the AMS. She consistently pushes us to look beyond our knee-jerk rejection of “student leaders” who get too cozy with UBC staff, and see the benefit of genuine, uncynical enthusiasm.

The Do-it-All Student

The Great Debaters

The Bad Cop/Bad Cop Duo

age South is slated to be zoned as “Academic,” and students owe a debt of gratitude to Neal Yonson and Sean Cregten. While most students wanted Gage South to be used for student-related facilities, few actually did anything about it. Yonson and Cregten spearheaded the movement to keep the heart of campus dedicated to students, and did so in a non-confrontational way that got attention from the university. While Yonson has received some recognition for leading the petition to keep non-student housing out of Gage South, most of his and Cregten’s work goes unnoticed. The fact that Cregten and Yonson did so much of the behind-the-scenes grunt work on Gage South shows how much they truly care about land use decisions that will affect students for years to come.

6 | 04.16.2012

The Year in Web WHO WE COVERED iN 2011–2012 Here’s a breakdown of the most mentioned people and places throughout the year...

WHICH BROWSER OUR READERS USE 32.5% GOOGLE CHROME 25.8% MOZILLA FIREFOX 21.3% APPLE SAFARI 14.3% INTERNET EXPLORER

WHICH OS OUR READERS USE 55.2% WINDOWS 34.7% MAC OS X 4.3% iOS 1.1% ANDROID

SOCIAL MEDIA STATS 1194 LIKES 4329 FOLLOWERS

WHERE WE’RE READ CANADIAN VISITORS

British Columbia Ontario Alberta Quebec Manitoba Nova Scotia Saskatchewan New Brunswick

GLOBAL VISITORS 1. CANADA 2. UNITED STATES 3. UNITED KINGDON 4. AUSTRALIA 5. INDIA

Newfoundland

6. GERMANY 7. FRANCE 8. HONG KONG 9. THE NETHERLANDS 10. PEOPLE HIDING THEIR IP

Yukon Territory

News

04.16.2012 |

Editors: Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan

FUNDING >>

UBC and provincial government square off over funding cuts Andrew Bates Senior Web Writer

The university and the provincial government are headed for a very public argument over whether UBC needs more money. UBC says it won’t have enough new money to cover its bills in three years unless it cuts services, raises tuition or gets more funding. But the BC government, which is planning to cut funding to post-secondary education by $70 million in the next three years, thinks universities can find savings by sharing courses.

Pierre Ouillet, UBC’s VP Finance, said inflation has caught up to the university. “Our hydro bills are going up, people expect to be paid more this year than last year, and that’s fair,” he said. “[But] revenues are not reflecting that.” The university’s budget, passed on April 3, reported that the university expects $10 million a year in new costs, but only $7 million in new revenue. “So we are left with three strategies...” said Ouillet. “One is, are there any revenues we can generate? Two, continuing to cut expenses. “The third one is government

advocacy to try to educate the BC government for properly funding the post-secondary sector.” Naomi Yamamoto, BC minister of advanced education, touted the province’s $1.9 billion in advanced education spending, a slight increase from last year. $518 million of that goes to UBC Vancouver. “Despite these challenging fiscal times, the taxpayers in the province [and] the government have shown incredible support for the post-secondary sector,” Yamamoto said. Yamamoto said that she expects post-secondary institutions to come

together and find savings by not offering services other institutions provide. Ouillet said that UBC has already cut $3.3 million and expects another $2–4 million in savings over the next year. But after that, he doesn’t think any more can be found. Yamamoto still thinks there may be room to maneuver. “I have confidence that by working together, the presidents actually will see some rationalization of the services provided,” she said. A sizable chunk of the new revenues come from annual three per

TRANSIT >>

No more full-summer U-Passes for UBC

Laura Rodgers Staff Writer

Now that the U-Pass is being issued monthly rather than once per term, the days of taking one class in the summer to get a full U-Pass are over. This summer, monthly passes will only be issued for months when students are enrolled in at least three credits. Most of UBC’s summer courses run for three to six weeks, which means students taking one or two courses will only be issued passes for part of the summer. “Now, if a student does pick up a course and drop it just to get the U-Pass, they won’t be able to,” said Rella Ng, manager of registration services for UBC Enrolment Services. Ng said the change will also save some students money. “We actually had received feedback from students in previous years saying, ‘I’m only taking a course in the month of June, why do I have to pay for a four-month pass?” said Ng. “In the [previous] contract we had with TransLink, we weren’t given that flexibility...Now we can actually meet those student requests.” But not all students are happy with the change. “That’s not good,” said second-year Arts student Samantha Mok when she learned she wouldn’t be getting a May– August U-Pass. Mok took one summer course last year, and is planning on enrolling in a six-week English class this summer that runs from May to June. “I wish [the U-Pass term] was for the whole summer this year because it’s always convenient to have the pass during July and August,”

cent international tuition increases. International students currently make up 11 per cent of undergraduate enrolment, with Ouillet suggesting that number could rise to 15-20 per cent in five years. Ouillet said there is growth, but the problem needs to be solved in the future. “For me there was a complete disconnect in terms of the cuts for the post-secondary sector and what’s happening fiscally across the board,” he said. “If everybody had been going down because the province is broke, I would understand. Here I do not.” U AMS CLUBS >>

UBC Life Extension Club: Who wants to live forever?

Grayson Reim

COURTESY COMEDY NETWORK

Contributor

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

Approximately 23,000 students take summer courses at UBC, but few will receive a May–August U-Pass this year.

said Mok, who commutes from Burnaby. “I was planning on using it to get to work, but I guess I can’t do that anymore.” Even without a U-Pass in July and August, Mok still plans on using transit all summer. “Unfortunately, I have to work, and I don’t have a car.” Changes in pass distribution took place after the the U-Pass program expanded to cover all public postsecondary institutions in Metro Vancouver. “In order to work with [various schedules]...new rules governing U-Pass BC terms were introduced,” said Margaret Eckenfelder, UBC’s acting director of transportation planning.

However, one group of students won’t be affected by the changes. Co-op students will still be issued full-summer U-Passes as long as they are on a May–August work term. And for students working outside of Point Grey, UBC is offering another pass pick-up option. UBC planned to distribute U-Passes by hand at the downtown Robson Square bookstore starting on April 16, said Michael Guimond, the UBC Bookstore’s financial analyst. But due to logistical limitations, they will now be available by April 23. “It’s a bit more difficult to do that out at Robson...the group is focused on getting the passes available for

the 16th at the main campus, they basically can’t be [in] two places at once,” said Guimond. “The aim for Robson is to have the passes be available for the last full week of every month.” About 23,000 students will take summer courses this year, according to Ng. Although most won’t be eligible for a full-term U-Pass, TransLink is still confident that the program will continue to encourage ridership. “If they are taking month-long courses, they still have the opportunity to take advantage of a U-Pass,” said TransLink spokesperson Derek Zabel. “The more people who take public transit, the better.” U

Children teaching parents about Aboriginal culture

UBC’s Faculty of Science adds new research units

UBC researcher fine-tunes anxiety disorder search

Senate issues post-secondary education report

In a new UBC study, children are learning about Aboriginal culture and language in literacy programs for indigenous families and teaching it to their parents as part of Aboriginal Head Start, Canada’s national Aboriginal early intervention program. “This study suggests that for families from diverse cultural and linguistic communities, there are multiple pathways to learning,” said UBC Faculty of Education researcher Jan Hare. “Children become knowledge brokers, helping their parents navigate the expectations and norms within their families, schools and communities.”

UBC’s Faculty of Science has added three interdisciplinary units: UBC’s Fishery Centre, the Institute for Applied Mathematics and the Institute for Resources, Environment and Sustainability (IRES). The Fishery Centre and IRES influence policy development and evidence-based decision-making on sustainability issues on local, national and international levels. The Institute for Applied Mathematics studies fluid dynamics, mathematical biology and nonlinear dynamics. The program also focuses on scientific computing, images and data processing. and optimization and control.

A UBC researcher has developed a simple new screening question which is 85 per cent effective in identifying children likely to have anxiety disorders. Lynn Miller, an associate professor in UBC’s Faculty of Education, developed the test working with kindergarten-aged children. A child’s parents are asked, “Is your child more shy, anxious or worried than other children his or her age?” Those who answer yes are encouraged to start teaching their children coping strategies for managing anxiety. “Managing anxiety should be as important as teaching a child to read,” said Miller in an interview with The Vancouver Sun.

Canada’s Senate has issued its first report on post-secondary education (PSE) since 1997. The report, published by the Committee on Social Affairs, Science and Technology, examines various strategies to improve the accessibility of education. “While most of the public debate on access to PSE revolves around the cost of tuition...the major barrier to accessing PSE is failure to complete secondary education,” the report stated. It puts forth 22 recommendations to improve accessibility, including the creation of an education-specific federal funds transfer program and various steps to increase Aboriginal student enrolment. U

News briefs

Imagine waking up 2000 years in the future, younger, your diseases cured and with a new lot in life. Founded just over two years ago, UBC’s Life Extension Club (LEC) discusses just that. Cryonics is the process of freezing legally dead humans with the hope that healing and resurrecting them might be possible in the future. Think Fry from Futurama. Many groups believe it to be theoretically possible, but it still has a bit of development to go before it can become a reality. While LEC may not be able to fund freezing and re-animation programs, members aren’t shy about exploring the philosophical issues under the umbrella of life extension. “There is a huge spectrum of life-extension topics,” said incoming LEC president Dano Morrison. “On the very practical side, diet choices, supplement choices you can make. And we talk about stuff from that, all the way to future mind uploading, to the singularity hypothesis type stuff.” Although cryonics and mind uploading are hot topics around LEC, Morrison went on to say that, as the group sees it, life extension is like life enhancement. “It isn’t trying to avoid death as long as possible, it’s the elimination of age...It’s why can’t we stay as healthy, as productive, as intelligent as possible for however long we want that to be?” Morrison said he originally joined with an interest in science fiction and behavioural neuroscience. “I came into the group with a big interest in life extension, life enhancement, nutrition, lifestyle.” The club holds workshops, lectures and café discussions. Morrison himself recently shared some research on life extension and health supplements, like antioxidants. “We’ve got a monopoly on the topic at the school. So if students are interested at all in learning [about] cryonics, life extension, mind uploading, anything like that, come to us,” Morrison said. U

8 | News | 04.16.2012 NEW SUB >>

Slide fo r new SU B Staff Writer

The AMS is still committed to putting slides in the new SUB, but they come with a hefty price tag. The current proposal features two slides, each spanning one floor. One would descend from the fourth to the third floor, and the other from the third to the second floor. The two slides are currently budgeted at $50,000 altogether. “We’ve budgeted money for this and we’re waiting to hear back from Dialogue HBBH about where exactly we want to place it,” said Caroline Wong, AMS VP Administration and chair of the New SUB Project Committee. “It’ll be something like a playground slide. Pretty safe, pretty small, but just a faster way of transportation,” she said. The AMS is still discussing the idea with the architects. Originally, the slide was going to span five stories and go through the atrium. But Wong said it would have been disruptive to the firm’s design.

Working any size of slide into the design is still difficult, said Bruce Haden, a principal architect at Dialogue HBBH. Because the idea arrived so late, they haven’t been included in the drawings. “The problem is, [slides are] a big enough idea that it’s always better to have it as part of the original design intention. It’s often weaker to add it at a later date,” he said.

Students can say...‘Our new SUB is pretty cool.’ Caroline Wong AMS VP Administration “We have to do more work to figure out whether it’s a feasible or reasonable thing to do.” Haden said safety issues are currently a concern, but Wong said the AMS had already looked into precautionary measures. “It’d definitely be something we’d lock up at night. We don’t want people climbing up the slide or anything like that.”

ov es forward

Natalya Kautz

But the venture could prove as pricey as $50,000 for two slides

The change to one-story slides was also a safety move, and raised sides would keep students from falling out. However, fourth-year student Julia Patey was hesitant about the cost. “It would be fun, it might bring some energy into the SUB. Just knowing how much it cost would be the turn-off for me,” Patey said. “I feel like they could come up with better ideas to make the SUB unique. With that amount of money, you could do a lot of other things.” The cost of the slides has not impacted other plans in the new SUB, Wong assured. “So far we’re balanced, we’re not over-budget right now and we’re pretty happy where this is going,” she said. “It will be something that students would feel is a unique piece of their new home and that they can say ‘our new SUB is pretty cool.’” U

INDIANA JOEL/THE UBYSSEY

Culture

04.16.2012 |

Editor: Ginny Monaco

FOOD >>

Finding the greatest vistas in Vancouver cusine

COURTESY STEPHEN DYRGAS

POV Film Festival co-chairs Julia Patey and Tyler Funk get ready to debut 20 new films made by third- and fourth-year students in UBC’s film production program.

GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY

FILM >>

Film students offer fresh perspectives POV Film Festival to kick off at Granville 7 Cinemas Anna Zoria Staff Writer

There’s a reason Vancouver is often called Hollywood North—for years it’s been a gold mine for young talent in the film industry. If you’re a film buff who likes to stay ahead of the curve, the Persistence of Vision Film Festival (POV) may be your chance to discover the new David Lynch—or perhaps just enjoy some films made by fellow UBC students. The festival, currently in its 22nd year, features the work of students in their third and fourth year of UBC’s film production program. It promises a great range of short films, from comedy to murder mystery.

It was founded in 1989 by Canadian cinema heavyweights Lynne Stopkewich and Stephen Hegyes as a way to give students exposure. Since then, the festival has helped to launch several young filmmakers’ careers. This year’s batch of students continue the strong tradition with films that offer a variety of perspectives on issues such as depression, growing up, relationships and fitting in, as well as some lighter subject matter. “I think the most interesting thing about these stories is that a lot of them are unique to Vancouver and they celebrate our culture,” said one of the festival’s co-chairs, Tyler Funk. POV’s other co-chair, Julia Patey,

agrees that the local, DIY aspect of the films is a nice alternative from mass-produced Hollywood flicks. The two-night festival is a first public premiere for many of the students who were involved in every aspect of production—from writing to editing and directing— over the course of eight months. In the past, the most successful films have gone on to participate in other international festivals. “It’s sort of like a grad screening in a way, but we open it up to the public,” said Patey. Patey’s own contribution to the festival is a coming-of-age film called Swim which deals with the pains of growing up. Another attention-grabbing piece is Alice Deegan’s Feint . One

of the festival’s longer films, it’s a period piece which takes place at an all-girls school and is said to have intricate production design and an intriguing plotline. The films will be presented on April 27 and 28 at Granville 7 Cinemas and audience members will have a chance to talk to the filmmakers after the screenings. “If you have any interest in filmmaking, it’s a great opportunity to ask those questions and find out more about the process,” Patey said. In previous years, the final night of the festival has been sold out. Saturday’s films will be followed by an awards ceremony and a free afterparty at Smiley’s on Burrard and Pender. U

WRITERS >>

Yasuko Thanh pens debut story collection Will Johnson

Senior Culture Writer

Yasuko Thanh has never really thought of her stories as exotic. As a first-generation daughter of a German mother and a Vietnamese father, she grew up being exposed to narratives from a number of different cultures. She ultimately grew interested in stories about the fringes of society— people who didn’t necessarily fit into tidy categories. “My stories were always socalled exotic, but they weren’t exotic to me. They were just the stories my family told me,” said Thanh, who recently released her first collection of short stories, Floating Like the Dead . “The recurring theme is obvious now, to look at it. This is a book about outlaws and expats and people on the fringes,” said Thanh. “But it never occurred to me while I was writing it.” The titular story, “Floating Like the Dead,” is a historical account of a group of Chinese lepers banished to a small island near Victoria. That story won the Journey Prize in 2009. Other stories involve street gangs in Vancouver, a German housewife in the 1960s, and a woman traveling

to Mexico and taking a Latino lover. “They’re kind of all over the place,” she said. Thanh’s trajectory to published author is an unlikely one. She dropped out of high school in Grade 9 and spent many years on the streets, struggling to get by financially. She believes these experiences have given her insight into human nature, which she was able to channel into her writing. “I did the wild child thing for a while, you know? I’ve always identified with the underdog,” she said. “But once I had my daughters, it got to a point where it wasn’t fair to let them starve for my art.” A few years ago, Thanh had to decide between going on welfare or returning to school. She chose the latter, and enrolled in UVic’s creative writing program as a mature student. She was mentored by author Bill Gaston, who helped her produce many of the stories that ended up in Floating Like the Dead. “Bill is really a master of the genre. And he’s very laid back. He lets you do what you want to do,” she said. Thanh is currently working on a novel loosely based on 19 th century sideshow performer Julia Pastrana, who was also known

WILL JOHNSON/THE UBYSSEY

Yasuko Thanh decided to enroll in UVic’s creative writing program a few years ago.

as “The Bear-Woman” or “The Missing Link” because her body was entirely covered in hair. Thanh said one of her objectives is to have her stories appeal to a broad audience, rather than a select literary group. “I always think, could I just

stand up in your regular pub, where I’ve got factory workers and kids with skateboards, university students and women who just got back from Vegas, could I stand up and just read this story? Would they find it interesting? That’s the goal.” U

Food with Tyler McRobbie With the semester coming to a close and signs of summer on the horizon, there’s no better way to celebrate Vancouver’s culinary offerings than with some outdoor eats. I’ve compiled a list of the three best patios in the city for soaking up the rays and enjoying the views. The newest and greenest of the restaurants on this list has to be the latest addition to the Cactus Club collection in English Bay. Situated close to the ocean, the patio is perfect for taking in the self-described “best views of the city”—including Stanley Park and Kitsilano. And seeing as it’s one of the first certified LEED Gold restaurants, take comfort in knowing that you’re pretty much fixing the world with every drink. When the Celebration of Light kicks off on July 28, this patio will be the place to be. Perched on top of Granville Island, directly underneath the bridge, is one of the city’s best spots—The Sandbar. From the rooftop patio, you can watch the yachts cruise in and out of False Creek and absorb the skyline as it stretches all the way from the West End to Yaletown. It’s well worth the hike to the top of the restaurant to be able to look out over the island as you dine on some of the freshest seafood in the city. It’s the ultimate Vancouver experience, and a great place to bring out-of-towners. The self-proclaimed “best patio in Vancouver” at the Jericho Sailing Club certainly isn’t stretching the truth when it comes to unbeatable views that encompass pretty much everything in the city worth seeing. It’s where the Strait of Georgia, downtown skyline, North Shore Mountains and Stanley Park all come together to create a postcard-worthy outlook in every direction. After lunch, why not embrace your nautical side with a lesson in sailing or windsurfing? There’s a lot that goes into making a great patio, from the food to the music to the company. But the experience doesn’t have to break the bank. Make your own claim to fame by filling a picnic basket with assorted meats and cheeses, a crusty baguette and some grainy Dijon, and set up camp under the shade of a tree in Stanley Park. The summer is short and before you know it, we’ll all be schlepping our way back to the lecture hall. So take advantage while you can. I know I will. U

Sports

04.16.2012 |

Editor: Drake Fenton

RED

From red ass to wall ball, the game has changed. Is this a good thing? Bryce Warnes Staff Writer

It goes by many names: wall ball, fumble, bottoms up, booty and, perhaps most memorably, red ass. It is played during recess on school playgrounds across the country, despite many attempts by teachers to ban it. It is a game of action and strategy. More importantly, it is a game that revolves around causing others pain. “It’s really a form of dodgeball,” says Dr Joy Butler, a Physical Education Teacher Education coordinator in the department of curriculum and pedagogy at UBC. “I’ve been a PE teacher for ten years, and then spent the rest of my career preparing students to become PE teachers. One of the things that we talk about is the domination of dodgeball in recreational time.” According to Butler, dodgeball— and its sub-varieties—allows some kids to intimidate and hurt others. “There is no institutionalized game that allows the ball to be hit directly to a player, when you think about it,” says Butler. While players may make incidental contact with the ball or puck in games like hockey or baseball, no games outside the playground require players to strike each other intentionally. Butler characterizes red ass as “legalized bullying.” In her eyes, it is not a valid recess activity, but enforcement against it “would depend on how good the supervision is...Sometimes people look the other way.” She points to the USA’s National Association for Sport and Physical Education (NASPE), which released a position paper in 2006 stating that “dodgeball is not an appropriate activity for K-12 school physical education programs.” The NASPE paper also states that “being targeted because they are the ‘weaker’ players, and being hit by a hard-thrown ball, does not help kids to develop confidence.” Patrick McIlhone helps operate an after-school program for kids in the K-7 age range. He fondly recalls playing red ass when he was growing up in Ontario. He notices the kids he supervises playing it now, although the name and rules of the game have changed. “It’s called wall ball [now], because ... if [the kids] say red ass, even though it’s such a quality name for a game, I obviously have to get mad at them,” says McIlhone. Wall ball shifts focus from hurting other players to disqualifying them from play, via a system of “lives” that are depleted when a player up against the wall is hit.

And there’s a limit on how hard one player can throw the ball at another. “They can only throw it underhand, and not that hard. They just can like lob it at [the other player],” says McIlhone, who says this change in playing style is caused by a shift in the sensibilities of teachers and supervisors. “In schools now they tell you you can’t...play games where kids are intentionally trying to hit each other. If you play dodgeball, a lot of people in education think that it promotes aggression,” says McIlhone. He agrees that such games have the potential to become a form of “legalized bullying.” “I can see dodgeball turned into a situation where the stronger players are just hammering on the weaker players,” he says. But if dodgeball-type games are so detrimental to the players, why do kids play them during recess or after school time? “It’s true that there are games that are self-organized, and you wonder what the motivation is of the students who get ‘whammed’ or ‘creamed’ by a ball,” says Butler. To explain, she says, “I think you have to look into the psychology of bullying.” “Why do kids love dodgeball so much?” says McIlhone. “Because they get to peg other kids with the ball.” Even in watereddown versions like wall ball, where only light, underhand throws are allowed, “there’s never a time when a kid’s face lights up more than when it’s his turn to throw the ball at the other kid,” says McIlhone. While McIlhone never recalls anyone ever getting seriously injured when he used to play red ass, he notes that he “wouldn’t let kids play by the old rules.” “I don’t think anyone would get hurt playing by the old rules, but personally, even if it’s low probability, I would never take a chance with the safety of the kids under my supervision.” Wall ball may have supplanted red ass among today’s kids, but that doesn’t mean it is immune from revival by immature adults. After all, UBC REC hosts intramural dodgeball, played by people who are technically adults. Is there potential for red ass to make a comeback? “I don’t know any situation where a group of adults would get together and be like, ‘You know what would be wicked? Playing red ass,’” says McIlhone. “Although now that I’m thinking about it, I think that people would be into it.” U

Rules of Red Ass To play red ass, you will need a tennis/racquet ball, 2+ friends/associates/enemies, a smooth vertical surface (brick or cement wall, etc.) and a playing area covered by asphalt, cement or hard-packed dirt/gravel.

JOSH CURRAN/THE UBYSSEY

There are no teams. Your goal is to get other players “up,” so you may physically punish them. The most common way to get a player “up” is to out-throw them during a fumble.

When a player fumbles, they must make physical contact with the wall before another player seizes the ball and hits the wall with it.

If the ball touches the wall before the player who has fumbled, the player is “up.” A player is also “up” when: - He/she throws the ball at the wall, and the rebound is caught by another player before it makes contact with the ground. - He/she throws at and hits someone who is not “up.”

When a player is “up,” the following occurs: 1. Player 1 (the one who is “up”) stands against the wall, palms spread on its surface or (optional) covering the back of his/her head. In some variations, the “up” player bends over 90 degrees while facing the wall. 2. Player 2 (the one who got Player 1 “up”) stands an agreed-upon distance from the “up” player. 3. Player 2 throws the ball as hard as possible at Player 1’s ass. 4. After Player 2 throws, regardless of whether the ball makes contact with Player 1’s ass or other body parts, the game resumes.

A fumble occurs when: - Player catches ball, then drops it. - Player is touched by ball, but does not catch it (the ball may next hit the ground, or be caught by another player). - Player throws ball at wall, but ball hits ground before contacting wall. - Player moves beyond the carrying limit. The carrying limit is a distance/time agreed on by all players (usually one to three steps or seconds) that a player holding the ball may not exceed. - Player throws ball, but misses wall entirely. This is not a common error. If the player who has fumbled contacts the wall before the ball does, play resumes as normal. Red ass can be played for an indefinite period. Action is driven by players attempting to catch the ball, so that they may be the next to throw it. Throwing the ball allows a player to establish angles of rebound that are difficult to catch, possibly increasing the odds of other players fumbling. Also, throwing a tennis ball at a wall is fun.

04.16.2012 | Sports | 11

The Sports Panel It’s been a wild year for UBC athletics. There’s been multiple national championships, MVPs, near misses and disappointments. Our esteemed panel of scotchdrinking, chew-spitting intellectuals looks back on the year that was.

Drake Fenton

Bryce Warnes

Ubyssey Sports Editor

Ubyssey Stallion

Justin McElroy

Ubyssey Coordinating Editor

Jonny Wakefield

Ubyssey Print Managing Editor

Sports Knowledge: Washed-up athlete

Sports Knowledge: Sports games expert

Sports Knowledge: Former sports editor and general man of knowledge

Sports Knowledge: Completed the Friday Night Lights series.

What was the biggest sports story of the year?

Five consecutive national championships. Women’s volleyball. Do I need to say anything else?

Found out there is a women’s volleyball team, and also that volleyball is not the same game as dodgeball, which as a fact really turned my world upside down.

It’s hard enough for me to do five push-ups in a row. To win five national championships in a row, as the women’s volleyball team did, simply defies logic.

The football team had all their wins stripped away five days before Christmas. Expect a lot of large, angry men coming back with something to prove next year.

Kyla Richey, Robyn Pendleton, Billy Greene, Tommy Gossland and Savannah King were all MVPs. Who was THE MVP?

It’s hard to choose between these five, but King is going to the Olympics, and there is a chance she could medal. She gets my vote.

The Most Valuable Player is yourself, and the sport is Your Life, so get out there and try your hardest, bud!

All are the best of the best when compared to other Canadians. But Savannah King has the best chance to become an elite world swimmer.

This is one of those ridiculous things sportscasters discuss to fill time. Seriously, they all play completely different sports. Billy Greene probably can’t swim very well.

A few teams had bad seasons and some had really bad seasons. Which team was the biggest disappointment?

Men’s basketball, women’s hockey and women’s rugby were all letdowns, but I would really like to see our men’s hockey team host a playoff game.

Biggest disappointment was when I found out that there is no varsity red ass team.

Men’s basketball. With five seniors on the squad, their late-season collapse has to rank as one of coach Kevin Hanson’s biggest disappointments.

The men’s rugby team lost to Cal pretty badly. Would have been nice to see them keep up their end of that rivalry.

Emotionally invested. Must detach. Care too much about UBC sports. #needalife. #noonereadsmysection

Really enjoying this Old Bay seasoning, adds tons of flavour to my rice pilaf. #favseasoning #msg????

Four national championships and record attendance at football games...who needs the #NCAA?

Wow, getting emotionally invested in sports isn’t worth it sometimes. #bandwagon

If you could go on a date with one UBC athlete, who would it be and where would you go?

Well, I would like to meet @UBCDimeWatch (pretty sure they are hockey players) and go creep on some dimes.

As a date, I would like to dress up as a dime, and trick @UBCDimeWatch into tweeting re: my hot bod.

Alex Vieweg, to the Ubyssey office, because there are people in my office who have legitimate crushes on her and I would like to see them fume.

I’d enjoy a gentleman’s day with T-Birds kicker Billy Pavlopoulos. We could grab lunch, then just walk around kicking things.

Besides trying your best, what is the main thing at sports?

Going to the bar afterwards.

Trick question, there is no besides.

Giving it 100%, taking it one game at a time, taking it one quarter at a time, making every shot count, not getting down, not letting up, and always: don’t stop believin’.

Earning more points than the other team, in points-based sports games, is of paramount importance.

If you had to send a tweet to summarize the entire season, what would it be?

(Question requested by Bryce Warnes)

12 | Games | 04.16.2012 Across

(CUP) — Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission.

1- It’s a wrap 6- Snack in a shell 10- Drinks (as a cat) 14- HI hi 15- Poet Pound 16- A dish with many ingredients 17- Extra-terrestrial being 18- It’s got you covered 19- Commendably 20- Seaport in S Crimea 22- Be of one mind 23- Heating fuel 24- Historic county in E Scotland 26- Actress Peeples 29- Switch ending 31- Genetic material 32- Aries or Taurus 33- Depilatory brand 34- Cash in 38- Eastern nanny 40- Become an ex-parrot? 42- Canadian gas brand 43- Flowering 46- Goddess and sister of Ares in Greek mythology 49- Loss leader? 50- CD forerunners 51- Sled 52- Charged particle 53- Small fish 57- Voting-pattern predictor 59- Commerce

60- Gus McRae’s occupation in “Lonesome Dove” 65- Architect Saarinen 66- Prefix with meter 67- Angry 68- Again 69- Defence grp. since 1949 70- Taboos 71- Mend with rows of stitches 72- Ollie’s partner 73- Huge;

Down 1- Swedish auto 2- _ breve 3- Agitate 4- Lots 5- Durable yellow fabric 6- Resembling a monster 7- Northern arm of the Black Sea 8- Frog sound 9- Bumbler 10- C or D, for example 11- Olds model 12- Heaps 13- Mends a shoe 21- Zhivago’s love 22- Actress Heche 25- Discount rack abbr. 26- Final Four org. 27- Metrical foot 28- Asian sea

30- Bay window 35- Actor Morales 36- This, in Tijuana 37- Complain 39- Limitation 41- Outburst 44- Mayberry moppet 45- AOL alternative 47- _ Rhythm 48- Marketing 53- Lieu 54- Boxing venue 55- Less common 56- Acclaim 58- Vive _ ! 61- Kofi _ Annan 62- “Give that _ cigar!” 63- Lots and lots 64- Hotbed 66- Ques. response

Ubyssey Weekly Show finale We review this year’s news to song and dance. Watch the last show of the year at ubyssey.ca.

This could be

Want to work for one of the best student newspapers in Canada? The Ubyssey is hiring for a number of part-time positions. Resumes and cover letters should be sent to coordinating@ ubyssey.ca by 5pm on April 27. Successful interview candidates will be notified in early May. More info at ubyssey. ca/hiring. Copy Editor: $700/month • Maintain The Ubyssey’s style guide and know the guide inside and out • Ensure that other editors are aware of the style guide, and provide them with a shorter reference guide to follow • Be at the Ubyssey office for the final three hours before each issue is sent in to the printers • Be knowledgable about libel and libel laws • Copy edit every page at least twice during production nights, and do this both effectively and efficiently • Work a daily shift in the office (five days a week) to edit web stories and maintain consistent style across all articles on ubyssey.ca.

Three Senior Writers: $350/ month (News Writer, Culture Writer, and Culture/Sports/ Rec Writer) • Contribute three articles every two weeks to The Ubyssey (combination of print and web stories) • Be adept at writing all types of stories in their respective sections • Able to both pitch story ideas of their own and pick up stories from editors • Available to turn out timely articles within 2–48 hours • Writing editorials and taking part in overall development of the newspaper is encouraged, though not required • Specific work to be decided by supervising section editor.

Illustrator: $350/month

Layout Artist: $350/month

Videographer: $350/month

• Assisting the art director with the visual feel of The Ubyssey • Contribute at least two major illustrations a week • Be adept at a variety of drawing styles, from caricature to drafting, depending on the tone required for the illustration • Have a strong conception of how to tie visuals to the content of an article, and be proactive in pitching ideas • Ability to manipulate images in Photoshop and Illustrator is encouraged, though not required • Specific work to be decided by art director • Illustrations will be mainly featured in the print edition, but visuals for web-specific stories may be required as well

• Work with the Managing Editor, Print to design pages for the newspaper • Design pages that are both heavily templated and contentheavy, as well as features which allow for more creativity in the design process • Familiar with Adobe InDesign and Photoshop; experience with Illustrator is an asset • Work ten hours a week (scheduling is flexible). Work schedule to be determined upon hiring in communication with the Managing Editor, Print

• Film one event per week for The Ubyssey, and then work with the video editor to edit the footage for public viewing • Occasionally required to take photographs at events • A camera is an asset, though not required • Experience with Adobe Premier or Final Cut Pro is required • Experience with Adobe After Effects is an asset, though not required • Have general knowledge of all facets of film production, from audio to cinematography

04.16.2012 | Games | 13

SUDOKU INTERMEDIATE

by KrazyDad.com Printed with permission.

SCORPION

MAZE!?

CHALLENGING

by KrazyDad.com Printed with permission.

Opinion

04.16.2012 |

Editor: Brian Platt

What a year This paper wouldn’t be possible without our motley crew of indefatigable volunteers. Here are the people who helped make The Ubyssey happen this year.

INDIANA JOEL/THE UBYSSEY

Life’s a happy song/ When there’s someone by your side to sing along.

The best job a student could have After four years of working at The Ubyssey, Justin McElroy looks back on his student journalism career Editor’s Notebook Justin McElroy When I was seven years old, I forced change upon UBC. In War Memorial Gym, tired after a day of soccer camp, I asked my aunt if I could get a fruit cup. She said yes, and I proceeded to wander around the building. What happened next isn’t clear, but I somehow fell down three flights of stairs, broke my arm and got a concussion. UBC put full stair railings in at War Memorial a few weeks afterwards. I sometimes tell this story, with the punchline of “If nothing else, that was my contribution to UBC.” Now, leaving UBC after seven years with a political science degree and four years at The Ubyssey, I can safely retire that line. The job I’ve had is, without a doubt, the best a university student could have. I’ve had the privilege of watching the happenings of a small city on a daily basis and reporting on them. More than that, I’ve gotten to work with tremendously talented people who have photographed, drawn, filmed and written about these things better than I ever could hope to. I often say that when you work at The Ubyssey, you’re three different things. First and most importantly, you’re a journalist: reporting stories, highlighting events, holding truth to power, and

everything else that immediately comes to mind. Second, you’re an advocate. The power of the press is a humbling responsibility. To decide which issues to publicize and which causes to champion (like say, pointing out constantly that UBC is the largest urban area in Canada without a municipal government) is something to always be mindful of. But we’re also historians. For 93 years, The Ubyssey has documented the events of this campus. In many ways, what we see and write about becomes the record of life at UBC. Around our office are thick blue volumes containing all of the papers of each school year. Dotting those pages are the names of journalistic titans, people we all wish to be like one day. You stand in awe of your responsibility, and you are determined to carry on the tradition. For the last four years, I’ve enjoyed nearly every minute of it. I’ve seen UBC struggle with a global economic crisis, a provincial government that hasn’t supported post-secondary education nearly enough and tensions that arise when you put a centrally-planned city inside a university. But I’ve also seen, especially this year, UBC address some of the systemic issues that sometimes make this campus feel like a soulless and expensive degree factory. That the promise of Place and Promise actually seems like a possibility is a pleasant surprise. Meanwhile, this paper has gone from a black-and-white

old-fashioned newspaper that rarely made use of the internet to a full-colour tabloid that does social media and video better than anyone else in the country. The Ubyssey is now, I hope, the type of media organization that university students in 2012 expect their campus news source to be—and I’m so proud of the dozens and dozens of people who have made this happen. And as for me? I’ve been able to cover Obama campaign rallies, interview premiers, work next to Bob Costas and Jimmy Fallon at the 2010 Olympics, direct viral videos, travel across Canada, meet my journalism heroes and watch students do amazing things on a daily basis. I’ve found best friends and begun a career that seemed like an imaginary thing that real people didn’t do. All because I did what thousands of UBC students do every year: I found an interesting group of like-minded students to be around. I’m not really sure how to end this, frankly. Once I’m done typing, I’m going back to my basement office to help edit a video about events at UBC this year that parodies the song “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” work on a few profiles of super-involved students, squabble over whether Japanese or Chinese food is ordered for dinner, edit a couple stories on silly things the AMS is thinking of doing, and then probably drink the night away. Which sort of encapsulates the joy that is what my job has been. Thank you for letting me have it. U

Moving On The Ubyssey employs ten full-time editors, all of whom somehow got through the year without murdering each other. Here’s where everyone is going from here: Coordinating editor Justin McElroy will be a curmudgeonly intern for The Province over the summer. Print managing editor Jonny Wakefield is taking the helm as coordinating editor for next year. Web managing editor Arshy Mann is moving to Toronto as the National Bureau Chief for the Canadian University Press. News editor Kalyeena Makortoff is taking off to England to beg the BBC for a job. Our other news editor Micki Cowan is riding off into the sunset to find new adventures. Culture editor Ginny Monaco plans to actually finish her goddamn creative writing degree. Features editor Brian Platt and sports editor Drake Fenton are both heading to Ottawa to enter the Master of Journalism program at Carleton University. And party. Art director Geoff Lister is heading to Belgium on exchange to drink beer and be a normal student. Video editor David Marino has forsaken moving pictures to devote his life to writing crime novels. Just kidding! He’ll be back next year, continuing to make amazing video.

Fatima Al-Samak, Lisa Anderson, Ludmila Andréa, Jeff Aschkinasi, Malcolm Bailey, Andrew Bates, Dulguun Bayasgalan, Jacob Bayless, Jeff Blake, Cloe Bocker, Tanner Bokor, Kait Bolongaro, Veronika Bondarenko, Chris Borchert, Evan Brow, Edward Buddiman, Dharra Budicha, Rheanna Buursman, Ducan Cairns-Brenner, Golids Chami, Collyn Chan, David Chen, Sunny Chen, Susan Cheng, Colin Chia, Jon Chiang, Caroline Chingcuanco, Tim Chow, Jenica Chuahiock, Vinicius Cid, Cantel Colleypriest, Conrad Compagna, Natalie Corbo, Micki Cowan, Josh Curran, Yara De Jong, Katherine DeClerq, Maitrayee Dhaka, Adrian Diaz, Mike Dickson, Tsering Dorje, Alexandra Downing, Hayley Dunning, Rhys Edwards, David Elop, Chad Embree, Kaan Eraslan, Robin Fan, Kyle Farquharson, Claire Fong, Laura Fukomoto, Raeven Geist-Deschamps, Marc-Andre Gessaroli, Sajan Gill, Elba Gomez Navas, Kai Green, Laura Greenstreet, Elise Grieg, Catherine Guan, Cheneil Hale, Kelly Han, Josh Havelka, John Hayes, Sean Hesiler, Marissa Ho, Harriet Ho, Rebekah Ho, Andrew Hood, Raymond Huang, Eric Inasi, Asher Isbrucker, Leen Issa, Jaishankar Iyer, SarahNelle Jackson, Kai Jacobson, Atiya Jaffar, Indiana Joel, Will Johnson, Aera Jung, Gordon Katic, Natayla Kautz, Arman Kazemi, Ting Kelly, Veronika Khvorostukhina, Alyssa Koehn, Ana Komnenic, Tristan Koster-Pickering, Myriam Lacroix, Catherine Lai, Dominic Lai, Keegan Landrigan, Henry Lebard, Jasmie Leung, Ivana Litaveez, Geoff Lister, George Litaveez, Jonathan Lopez, Taylor Loren, Hanna Lorena, Karen Ma, Scott MacDonald, Alanna Mackenzie, Alison Mah, Kalyeena Makortoff, Arshy Mann, Ashwini Manhohar, David Marino, Miranda Marini, Will McDonald, Justin McElroy, Eilidh McEwan, Tyler McRobbie, Lau Mehes, Claire Middleton, Claire Melanson, Sarah Mohebiany, Ginny Monaco, Mehran Najafi, Pierce Nettling, Rosemary Newton, Edward Ng, Jessica Noujeim, Shannon O’Rourke, Karina Palmitesta, Gordon Panic, Thor Paulson, Linda Peng, CJ Pentland, Thomas Peters, Elisabeth Piccolo, Brian Platt, Elizabeth Ponce, Anthony Poon, Becky Price, Jon Qi, Grace Qiao, WeiJia Qin, Morgan Radbourne, Zafira Rajan, RJ Reid, Grayson Reim, Alberta Rengifo, Jasel Reyes, Sheida Rezapour, Georgia Rigg, Trevor Ritchie, Laura Rodgers, Nic Roggeveen, Chloe Sargent, Liam Scanlon, Amy Scwenneker, Hans Seidermann, Grace Shaw, Stephan Soroka, Olsy Sorokina, Fabrizio Stendardo, Chelsea Sweeney, Jeffrey Tang, Devan Tasa, Trisha Telep, Michael Thibault, Kaitlyn Tissington, Jemma Titheridge, Charles To, Spencer Toffoli, Riley Tomasek, Ian Turner, Christian Voveris, Jordan Wade, Tham WaiLiang, Jonny Wakefield, Donald Wang, Bryce Warnes, Helen Weir, Sheila Wesa, Jonathan Wilinofsky, Peter Wojnar, Ming Wong, Kayi Wong, Caroline Wong, Geoffrey Woollard, Kathy Yan Li, Sebastian Yoh Chem, Neal Yonson, Kevin Zeng, Lu Zhang, Anna Zoria. U

Scene

04.16.2012 |

Pictures and words on your university experience

HUMOUR? >>

Biggest Stories From 2011 and 2012 AD School Year They Don’t Want You to Know Warnes World Bryce Warnes

Oh boy! Another year done at UBC. It was definitely a major year because of all the fun that we were always having. When I say “we,” I mean WE, the STUDENTS, who in some ways are exactly like a big family of 47,000 people, except a family where dad doesn’t lock you in the hall closet when one of his girlfriends comes over, and Auntie Deb doesn’t have a goiter on her neck that she makes talk with ventriloquism. Man! Families are crazy. The Ubyssey Student Newspaper has a list in this issue of the biggest “news” that happened this year at UBC. But you know what? That’s just their opinion! I have my own opinions of the major things at UBC in 2011 and 2012 AD school year, and since this is the “Opinions Section,” you bet I am going to write them. You probably don’t know this, but The Ubyssey Student Newspaper covers up a lot of stories that are too controversial. But just like Zeitgeist says, “The Truth is Out There!” And I am gonna tell you the truth now, with the Biggest Stories from 2011 and 2012 AD School Year They Don’t Want You to Know.

God Came to Knoll in Spaceship, Told Me to Fight the Government In February, I was leaving the SUB after getting some tasty sandwiches at the free Wednesday dinner in AMS Council Chamber. Suddenly: a flash of light on the Knoll! “Lightning?” I thought, and ran up to the Knoll to check. But it wasn’t lightning, it was God, who landed on the Knoll in a flying saucer. “Bryce,” God said, in mindtalk. “The world is really messed up. Nobody believes in me any more. Do you believe in me?” “I totally believe in you,” I said to God. “You have such nice hair.” “Thanks,” said God. “Listen Bryce, if you want to save the world, you got to make sacrifices. And one of the sacrifices is fighting the government.” Then God explained to me how the government is stopping people from believing in God by putting chemicals in the trails that planes make in the sky, and also by using the Federal Reserve to make a World Government run by Israel. “I will definitely fight the government!” I said, holding my hand over my heart. “Okay,” said God. Then he told me all kinds of government-fighting secrets, such as: making tap water safe to drink by touching it with magnets; wrapping cell

phones in tin foil so Zionists can’t listen to it; making bombs with chemicals; weak points in police body armour; and homeopathy. Right now I am just doing my best to spread the message, which is pretty easy since I have this column to write in and be the voice of the people.

Steve Troope Being a Dick So I went to Steve Troope’s house, because he is UBC President, and I needed to ask him questions, such as: Do you believe in God? Will you help me fight the government? Give me money for guns to fight the government, etc. Steve Troope’s house has a big gate on it, so I couldn’t go in. I waited outside, though, watching for when he came out. I waited all day until it was dark. I took lots of pictures with my Instagram in order to find openings in the security perimeter, in case S. Troope did not agree to fight the government, and was a Zionist, so I could “teach him a lesson.” But then Campus Security showed up and said that if I didn’t go home they would call the police. Normally I would fight the police, but since my astro-projection is not strong enough yet to kill a man, I decided it would be a good idea to go home. The lesson here is: Steve Troope = what a dick!

Parkington Monkeys came Back to Life, now living in Pacific Spirits

front for Moussad and enemy of the truth by sending me the following letter.

Remember how earlier this year, some scientists gave monkeys Parkington disease, to see how to heal Parkington’s? And the monkeys died? Well, here’s the scoop: the monkeys are not actually dead. They came back to life. And they are living in Pacific Spirits Park. The Parkington’s mutated the monkeys, so now they are big, almost as big as people. They even wear human clothes. I have been monkey hunting in Pacific Spirits this year and I already attacked two research mutants. They were in sleeping bags, under some bushes. I started hitting them with a stick, but they got up and shouted at me, so I got the heck out of there, because if a Parkington monkey bites you, then you get Parkington’s. Why is UBC not dealing with this? The whole park is filled with mutant monkeys in stained parkas who keep all their stuff in shopping carts, and UBC is just sitting here with its finger up its butthole! What, do they just expect the problem to magically “go away?” That is unrealistic of them.

Dear Mr. Warnes, You are expelled from UBC permanently as of today. The reason why? Trying to spread the truth and fighting the government, also developing astro-projection, which is officially banned at UBC, because we don’t like people to have power. Even though we are your sworn enemies and fighting on behalf of the Illuminati/reptilian conspiracy, we respect you and your skills, also your spirit. Sincerely, Steve Troope.

I got expelled Apparently, there is not just a “War on Fun” at UBC. There is a war on the truth. UBC proved that it is a

As you can see, these guys are not pulling punches. It is time for the fight against the government to Get Real. That is why, as of today, I am going into hiding, to prepare my astro-projection force and rally forces through the world wide web. If you want to learn more about the plans to take down the government and take back our freedom, and also receive coded messages and celebrity pics, you can follow me on Twitter. In the meanwhile, unfortunately, this column will go inactive. Sorry, guys. This isn’t how I planned things at all. It just got out of control so fast! It is tough being the voice of the people. U

Want a job? See Page 12 for more information.