UCC Express Fresher's Issue 2016

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UCC

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1997

EXPRESS

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Fresher’s Issue

Know Your SU Page 4 - News

A WHOLE NEW WORLD: Artists’ rendering of what the new Hub building will look like upon completion

(PHOTO: New Works Media & UCCSU)

Work Commences on New Student Hub Chris McCahill - News Editor

On July 6th ground was broken on a €15m one-stop shop for most student services in UCC. The yet-unnamed ‘Student Hub’ is being built as an extension to one of University College Cork’s oldest buildings, the Windle Building. The Windle Building was originally built in 1850 due to a donation from Lord Clarendon. The original Clarendon Building was remodeled & extended several times in 1866, 1878, 1907 and 1980. Its general use began to decline significantly in 2005 when the Medical School was moved to the Brookfield Complex, and fell almost completely into disuse in 2011 as the Anatomy facilities were moved to the more modern Western Gateway Building. The Windle was no-

tably referred to in James Joyce’s novel ‘A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man,’ as Joyce’s father, a native Corkonian, studied medicine in the then-Queen’s College Cork. The five-storey student hub will put facilities for the Students union, Clubs and Societies, a state-of-the-art station for UCC 98.3fm Campus Radio, offices for this publication, and other student-led activities in one location on the campus for the first time. Other services, including Disability Support Service (DSS) and the Mature Students’ Office (MSO), will also be relocated. In addition to support services, modern teaching facilities will allow students from different disciplines, across the

different Schools and Departments in UCC, to work together in new technology-enriched spaces. Following planning approval granted by Cork City Council in May, preliminary work on the site that got under way this summer will require the removal of extensions to the back of the Windle Building. ‘The Windle’ stands parallel to the West Wing of UCC’s main Quadrangle Building, and work will also be done to ensure its safe conservation during the project The new extension is being built at the other side of the Windle Building, close to the Kane Building. (Continued on page 3...)

How To Survive College Page 5 - Features

News, Reviews & Culture Byline Magazine


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NEWS Inside Today:

Freshers Issue | UCC Express

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1997

Letters from the Editors

UCC Express Turns 32 Page 4

Freshers Survival Guide Page 5

Write For Us Page 6

Byline Page 8

Award-Winning Humour Page 10

Sport: A Year in Review Page 15

What’s Another Year

Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief It’s almost a tradition for the Editor of this paper to make a cliché-driven editorial chock full of insultingly easy advice. I don’t remember the editorial from my Freshers Issue, but I do remember that the front page was full of misused me-

Editorial Team Editor-in-Chief – Robert O’Sullivan News Editor – ChriMcCahill Designer – Beth Alexander Features Editor – Mary Collins Photographer – Emmet Curtin Sports Editor – Dylan O Connell Eagarthóir Gaeilge – Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive – Sarah Dunphy Online Editor – Evan Smith Byline Editor – Lauren Mulvihill Fiction Editor – Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor – Jonathan Soltan Music Editor – Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor – Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor – Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor – Iris Maher Food Editor – Xander Cosgrave Horoscopes – Niamh O’Reilly Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston

mes; a crime one can hardly forget. I also remember my first day in UCC, which in retrospect would really accurately describe my entire college life. I started out an Arts student, picking History, Greek & Roman Civilisation, Celtic Civilisation and Latin. And yes, I use that Celtic Civ & Latin combo every day. On the first day of college I forgot the sheet with lecture times at home so, having a vague knowledge of the campus already, I trekked up to a small seminar room for my first history lecture. This room could hold maybe 25 people at a stretch, while there’s usually about 300-400 people in first year history. So yeah. Despite legging it down to Boole 4 and making that first lecture, I skipped the rest of the day & went home to curl into a ball. The next few years were somewhat similar to that. If I were to give you any bit of advice, it would be to mind yourself: to navigate the ORB, and so on. Of course, the first problem with this is that I don’t even know these things. I’m not the best tour guide the college has to offer by a long way. At the end of the day, I think I can only speak from experience, so the editorial I’ve decided to write is the cringey anecdotal kind. Bear with.

A Year Full of Puppers Lauren Mulvihill, Byline Editor

I wasn’t too sure where to start with this editorial; my first idea was to dole out a bit of advice for the Freshpeople of UCC, but then I remembered that I didn’t even know what the Main Rest was until around March of 2016 (it’s an abbreviation of “main restaurant”. I know; I don’t know how I got into college either). Also, about a thousand people are going to repeat the same pieces of advice: stuff like “join clubs! Get involved! Go to your tutorials!” All solid, but a bit dry. After that I thought about doing a whole summary of UCC: when you can get the best seat in the library; how to get to Neptune on time; how

I came to UCC in the Autumn of 2015, and I have no idea where the days have gone. It was the first time in my life that I was able to spend my time studying things I had a genuine interest in and pursuing things I had never been able to do before - from small things, like going to the Mardyke Arena, to bigger things like biting the bullet and sending an application into the Express before I had even had my orientation day. To be able to live around an environment like this is a genuine privilege: there are very few other places where you can meet such likeminded people or have so many new experiences. The only advice I’d give when it comes to your first year of college is this: take care of yourself. You’ll know when you need a break, and you’ll know when you need to push yourself, so trust your instincts. Don’t try to do everything at once, and try not to hole yourself away.

don’t drink too much during Freshers Week, don’t spend the money put aside for the rent on weed, do remember to eat, if you don’t feel okay talk to someone, don’t push all your exams back to August (twice) and jesus christ, if you need help ask for it. I have a few biases, as we all do, mainly towards keeping students alive & happy. So look forward to seeing the numbers “116 123” a lot (the number for Samaritans), ads for the Cork Sexual Violence Centre and articles about Repealing the Eighth. If you’re interested in writing for the Express, or have any questions (mainly about the paper, but if you want to know “what fruit would beat a tiger in a fight” I’ll definitely answer that) you can email me on Editor@UCCExpress.ie. I like long walks on the beach, the show Murder She Wrote and pizza. Most importantly, remember there’s always someone there to listen when you need them to. It’s so easy to get caught up in discussing the culture of college that we tend to forget that people can and do struggle with it all, and everyone here knows that. There’s always a way around things, and there’s always someone there to help. Now that all of that’s been said and done, enjoy freshers. Don’t be like me and drink too much on the first day and then be too sick to go out for the rest of the week (what can I say? I’m fragile). This is the one time of year when everybody will be open to meeting new people, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. On that note, make sure you say hi if you see me out and about, especially if you fancy getting involved with the Express at some point throughout the year. We’re always looking for new contributors, and we’re also sound out. Drink water, pet puppies (or the nearest puppy substitute if you suffer with allergies), and, of course, mind yourself.


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Freshers Issue | UCC Express

Story Continued from the Front Page...

1997

NEWS

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Drawing of the proposed Hub

The space between the Windle Building and the quadrangle building will become a new pedestrian zone, requiring the removal of car parking and restrictions on through traffic. The 2,400sq m extension will see four upper floors rising out of two ground floors being built to the west of the Windle Building, which is also being refurbished.The Student Hub has been designed by O’Donnell and Tuomey architects. Construction is scheduled to begin next January with a target date to open in May 2018. The largest of five spaces in the 3,800sq m student hub will be the relocated student-led activities. The others will be a one-stop shop welcome zone, teaching and learning zones, an employability and development zone, and student success centre.

“By bringing together previously dispersed services and unconnected activities and programmes, the student hub will provide new spaces to support our students in a more efficient and effective manner,” said UCC’s acting-Head of Student Experience, Dr Michael Byrne. He said it would also significantly increase opportunities for students to take part in activities that have an impact on helping students stay in College and their overall employability. Funding: The works are being funded by a loan from the European Investment Bank, which has supported capital projects at a number of Irish universities in recent years. The repayments, which will be paid over 23 years, will be strongly assisted by a percentage of student fees set aside for the project. This

follows precedent from the past, as a similar model was used in the past to help finance the construction of the Mardyke Arena sports facility and the Áras na Mac Léinn student centre. Other Services: Some services like the Chaplaincy, Student Health Centre and Counselling service are not relocating, and Dr. Byrne has said that decisions about the use of vacated buildings would be made over the next two years as the project nears completion. Potential Problems: The university may face a challenge in handling parking issues, due to the loss of 78 parking spaces on campus. The college withdrew plans to provide 30 additional spaces at a small riverside car park near the Western Road side of the campus, following Cork City Council expressing concerns

with that aspect of the original planning application from last December. The planning conditions attached to permission for the project in May include a requirement for a piece of contemporary art to be located in the Hub. As part of efforts to improve efficiency & student access to academic administrative services, a parallel project is under way to improve online access for students to various services, like academic affairs, fees, and other facilities. Project Team Niall McAuliffe - Capital Projects Officer Tim O’Riordan - Project Manager, UCC Design Team Architects - O’Donnell Tuomey Architects Civil & Structural Engineers - Horgan Lynch

UCC Appoint New University President Robert O’Sullivan - Editor-In-Chief University College Cork has appointed a new President for the College. Professor Patrick O’Shea, a Cork native & UCC graduate, has spent the last few years of his life as Vice President & Chief Research Officer of the University of Maryland. Professor O’Shea is set to succeed current President Dr.Michael Murphy in early 2017. Speaking about his appointment, Professor O’Shea was quick to praise his physics degree from UCC & its place in his success in his chosen field: “My physics degree from UCC laid the foundation stone for a successful academic career in the US culminating in my current leadership role at the University of Maryland.”

Though a Cork native & UCC graduate, Professor O’Shea is the University’s first external hire in over 50 years. In his current role of VP & Chief Research Officer he oversees a $500 million yearly research and innovation enterprise budget, and many hope his expertise could lead to an increase in funding brought to UCC. The appointment of Professor O’Shea, who will be the 15th President of the University in its 171 year history, comes at a difficult time for academia, with the question of fee increases, accommodation shortages, gender parity in relation to hiring policies, ongoing cuts to student supports sevices and more. Dr Catherine Day, Chairperson of UCC’s Governing Body, is confident that Professor O’Shea

is the right person to lead UCC as she welcomed his appointment, adding: “We are delighted to have Professor Patrick O’Shea as the President who will lead UCC into the challenging next decade. He is an exceptional academic scholar and leader whose valuable international experience will benefit UCC.” O’Shea, too, has high hopes for the future of the University: “I am delighted to return to lead my alma mater. UCC’s students and staff have impressed me with their enthusiasm and their commitment to excellence in education, scholarship, research and service. Through their dedication, passion, and achievement, UCC will continue its rise among the great universities of the world.”


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NEWS UCC Express Celebrates Its 32nd Year

Freshers Issue | UCC Express

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1997

Robert O’Sullivan - Editor-In-Chief

The 2016/2017 academic year will be UCC Express’ 32nd year as an Independent publication. The exact age of the Express has been disputed over the

years, and ‘volume’ numbers have varied wildly from edition to edition. The UCC Express has its origin in the UCC Students’ Union, as its initial publication reportedly came from an SU newsletter called “The BullSheet.” Little is currently known about this newsletter, as no copies could be found at the time of writing. The first name given to the paper now known as the Express was ‘The Gazette.’ The Gazette was first published in 1984, though details about this first volume have also, we fear, been lost to the ages. The first available copies of the Gazette were published in September 1988, and was an official Students’ Union publication. The Gazette was, at times, utterly bizarre; this was in

part because of what would now be regarded as primitive way of design, as the paper was seemingly written on a broken typewriter, but mainly due to weird in-jokes utilised by the Editorial Team. The most notable one of these ‘in-jokes’ was a drawing of Mickey Mouse sticking up his middle-finger, which would feature on several pages per-issue throughout the year. While the Gazette was more of a newspaper than its predecessor, it still wasn’t quite a paper. In September 1997 the name was changed, from the Gazette to the University Examiner, a much more standard/professional-looking paper. It was at this point that the volume number was reset, disregarding the volumes of the Gazette from its history. It would

be the University Examiner until 2001 when, briefly, it became the Campus Chronicle for a year. In 2002 the paper was renamed ‘The University Xpress’ until 2006 when they corrected their ‘radical’ spelling of ‘Express.’ At this point the newspaper adopted its own entertainments supplement, called Ex2, which ran for several years until being replaced by Verge and, most recently, Byline. Several years of the paper’s archives are lost, from 1984-1988 and from 2007 up until 2012. If you have any information or, better yet, copies of the paper from these years, please contact us on Editor@UCCExpress.ie.

UCC Students Union: Who Are They, and What Do They Want To Do?

Chris McCahill - News Editor

In March of last year students went to the polls and voted in a new Students’ Union. After the elections, the UCC Express published a manifesto report in order to inform the student body as to who they are and why they were elected. The new SU team have been at work since June of this year, and we are again publishing a manifesto report to inform new UCC students about their SU and the promises made. We asked them for an update on their promises, which is available now on our website, UCCExpress.ie. President- Eolann Sheehan Received 2451 of a possible 4211 votes • • •

• • • • •

Bring back the night bus to bring students home after a night out for €2 Open a pop up bar in Brookfield during R&G week. Develop a tab on uccsu.ie specifically covering student housing, enabling review of houses being lived in Lobby local TDs with regard student housing crisis Set up clinic hours for SU officers on satellite campuses monthly Develop R&G week events for satellite campuses Lift ban on music on campus during R&G week Investigate ways in which to utilize empty space in satellite campuses to develop more common rooms and spaces for students Co-opt a vice-Welfare officer of the opposite gender to the Welfare Officer

• • • • •

Introduce a “town hall” where any student can put questions to the SU and college management Refine emails to students to ensure only relevant emails are received Introduce free drug testing kits available from SU offices Hold referendum on the stance of the SU with regard to decriminalisation of drugs Introduce a student innova4on fund, to allow aspiring entrepreneurs to gain access to the correct platforms and financial backing to develop their ideas.

• •

Deputy and Campaigns- Kate Moriarity Received 3703 of a possible 3985 votes

• • • •

Awareness campaigns with SSDP society around drugs and harm reduction Work towards disability-friendly campus with Building and Estates Run a male health promotion campaign around the idea of toxic masculinity Run campaigns utilising the repeal the 8th mandate put forward by students Dependant on Government policy on the topic, lobby politicians to protect the grand and ensure no further fee increases

Education Officer- Ian Hutchinson Received 2675 of a possible 4077 votes • •

Develop the work placement programme offered by various courses Create a link between final year

projects and dissertations to industry and create industry integrated research projects where applicable Expand the trial run UCC4U programme which taught students various life skills including stress management Collaborate with Irish officer to highlight “importance of the Irish language educationally” Encourage lecturers to utilise audio/video recording facilities available in college to make lectures more readily available Better utilise both college and class reps with better training and supports Greater engagement with satellite campuses Create a 24hr study space for all students

Welfare Officer- Rory O’Donnell Received 3885 of a possible 4095 votes • • •

Have all auditors and team captains Safe Talk trained Have mindfulness workshops weekly (showing the benefits and teaching how) Form the UCC “Welfare Crew”, work with UCD, Trinity and UL and seek advice on the running of their Welfare Crew and how that structure can be incorporated into UCC Tackle Cyber bullying , in conjunction with the Campaigns officer, with close attention to applications such as “Yik Yak” where comments go unmonitored and unpoliced

Have free Condom dispensers around campus so when the welfare office is closed, condoms could be received via a token system Increase the amount of free STI checks throughout the year and organise a campaign reducing the stigma of STI examinations. Lobby to reduce the cost of the contraceptive pill and make it free for medical card holders

Comms Officer- Kelly Doherty Received 2165 of a possible 4048 votes • • • • •

Ensure officer reports presented at student council are more widely available and publicised Better promotion of student council and the motions they are debating Bring high profile speakers to campus like Trinity or UCD commonly do (Amy Poehler, Ice Cube) Secure advertising space for the union, ideally the George Boole 200 banner poles Create a Student Union membership card to entitle holders to special deals and offers in local businesses and for SU events Hold charity events to assist in funding the student assistance fund, similar to how R&G funding is raised Bring brands to campus to ensure healthy levels of sponsorship


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Freshers Issue | UCC Express

How to Survive College

1997

FEATURES

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Mary Collins - Features Editor

So all your cramming paid off, your parents even think you were studying all along; welcome to UCC. You even survived the alcohol soaked holidays on some cheap Greek island that I cannot spell, well done! Now you’re ready for the next step of your academic career; learning how to actually survive college. You know how they say power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely? This is your life for the next few weeks; drunk on your new found freedom (and the paint stripper Aldi markets as vodka), the next month or so will be a whirlwind of lectures, new friends, nights out, late mornings and learning to cook using more than the toaster. It’s exciting! And wonderful! …And a bit daunting, right? That’s ok; your friendly neighbourhood Features Editor is here to guide you through the big transition. Household chores First things first; where you are living is your responsibility now. For many of you this is your first experience leaving your parent’s house and living in the wild with your peers, provided you were lucky enough to find a place to live. It’s easy to go mad and forget that mammy isn’t there to clean up after you, but welcome to adulthood. Sorry there isn’t a party, but look on the bright side, you get to clean up your own dishes and wash your own clothes! Be

good to your housemates. If you’re lucky, they will become lifelong friends. Don’t be that guy that uses the last of the milk and doesn’t bother to buy more. If you finish it, replace it. If you borrow it, ask first. Pro tip; when you get to second year and realise that you can’t stomach cheap ownbrand vodka anymore, don’t throw it out. You can use it for cleaning glass, or adding half a cup to your washing will get rid of that mildew smell off clothes from the wardrobe you didn’t know had damp in it. Diet There is an American concept called the “Freshman 15” where every college students gains 15 pounds in their first year of college. And for some, that is true, but many also lose a lot of weight in college from not eating, eating crap or “eating healthy” by substituting fruit with Bulmers. Despite what people might tell you it is possible to be relatively healthy in college, you just have to know how. Here are a few tips from my years of experience; you cannot survive on pot noodle, but they are handy to have as a snack. There is no such thing as chicken served pink, that’s just salmonella. Club cards and own brand foods are your friend. A bread roll is not dinner. When reheating pizza, use the oven or the grill, not the microwave! That just makes it soggy. Frozen vegetables are about a euro a bag in tesco and last way longer than fresh ones, so you can still eat them when

you find them in the freezer in six months. Keep a few Berocca in the house; it’s a great cure for a hangover. Societies/ Clubs Clubs and societies are the best place to start if you’re anxious about making new friends. What better way to socialise than a room full of people with the same interests as you? Every year clubs & societies days are hosted, usually during the second week of lectures. This is where clubs and societies set up stands with freebies. You can sign up to everything you want, now they just scan your card and you’ll get emails keeping you up to date with each club or society. You’re a fresher; this is the year to go out and be obnoxiously social. Sign up to everything, ask questions, go to events and make friends. You can always unsubscribe from the emails later.

What better way to socialise than a room full of people with the same interests as you? Party Woohoo-what better way to blow your parents cash than by going out and getting crunk in a new city where you don’t know your way around?! Seriously though, it’s important to take care of each other this week. Have a buddy system with your

friends & tell them where you’re going, and with whom. Text people who got a different taxi to confirm if they got home okay. Don’t leave your drinks unattended. Always plan your way home and keep enough money for a taxi in a separate pocket so you don’t accidentally spend it on shots. Freshers week is a marathon, not a sprint - don’t go out and make a disgrace of yourself Monday and Tuesday, only to skip Wednesday and Thursday because you’re too “sick”(did you buy that Berocca yet?) or completely broke. Remember that freshers week is the official start of term so you do have lectures to attend. College is some of the best fun you’ll ever have if you do it right, but you’re also here to learn and this is the perfect week to learn how to haul ass across campus while hungover to attend a lecture you have no interest in. It’s important to find the balance between work and play; who wants to wake up in April to the realisation that their grades are in the toilet and now they have to go to CIT? UCC is a wonderful place, but it gives you what you put into it. Get involved. Be sociable. Run for class rep. Join a club. Write for the Express! Explore who you are. I’m proud to say UCC has shaped the vaguely dysfunctional person I am today and I hope it brings you the same joy. Hopefully you survive first year and return next September; that’s when the real fun begins...


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6 1997

FEATURES

Freshers Issue | UCC Express

Get Involved in Student Media in UCC Robert O’Sullivan - Editor-In-Chief

Hi there! This is likely the first time you’ve ever been involved in student media in some way, in that you’re reading the first issue of the UCC Express of the year. One day, 4 years ago, I was in the exact same spot you are now: I’d just gotten my new student card with the customary ‘terrible photo,’ and while waiting in line to get my passwords for the computers on campus I was handed a bag of things: a large bundle of leaflets from societies (I think they stopped doing this though), a condom, a rice krispies square and, last but not least, a copy of the UCC Express. I had never had any interest about writing before, nor had I done any outside of school, and to be honest my level of interest didn’t change when I read it. Not because it wasn’t great, but because there wasn’t any info. Eventually I started to write some film reviews because a friend of mine knew the Film & TV Editor. At the end of the year I applied to be Film Editor and got it. In that year I met some great people, made some friends and honestly learned a lot. That year, that eventual decision to get involved with the Express has changed my life immensely: I’ve gotten jobs, won awards and grown as a person. But what always bugged me was about how I got involved. I really only got involved by chance, and it’s changed my life so much I’d hate for anyone to miss out on that chance. So I got on to Motley Magazine and UCC 98.3fm, the other great student media outlets in UCC, to give us information so you could have the opportunity to get involved. If you want more information about the Express, you can email me on Editor@UCCExpress.ie; for Motley you can email Eoin on Editor@Motley.ie, and for UCC 98.3fm you can email Kieran on Radio@ UCC.ie. I’ve written for both publications, been on Editorial teams and hosted my own radio show on 98.3fm, and they’re all great fun, so give it a go: get involved.


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Volume 2


Fiction

Editor - Sophie Mckenzie9 09

Song for an Unidentified Vertebra Sophie McKenzie You came to me perfect Storm-smoothed, second-hand Yellowed wings arching And hollowed by sand. And in the car back In the crook of my hand, You jostled with shells And a worn rubber band. You came back to me in a field in Rosscarbery, a dream-shard whittled to almost nothing. I was singing ‘Jolene’, and the wind found you at the chorus, a mottled note limping home. You left a wound in cheap fabric and a hollowing scar that I scratched all the way back home.

Candle

Felix Devon Tyler Like a candle, He vanished Straight into the night. No warning, Barely a sign, And the flame went Blank. Cry for the Dark, Cry for the cold; Cry out for the Wax that will Never get to finish. Like a candle, That once flickering Enticement Becomes nought but a Pocket of empty space. Whatever destruction

Is left in its wake, It cares not And acts not, For no longer can it Laugh and Crackle and shine. Weep upon your Pedestal, Longing for That heat that seeps into Your being. This light shall Never more illuminate The cracks in your breast, the Scars in your mind. But like a candle, This flame will be Reborn elsewhere. The moment it snuffed out, Twelve more fires Were lit. Its energy will Never burn out.

Mantis Shrimp Felix Devon Tyler Raindrops tinged With the iridescent beauty Of sunlight Just At The edges.

The flames that Converged on your Heart Will strengthen and Fuel you, Help you fight Any gust of wind That tries to extinguish You. Cry for joy, Cry for grief; Smile through the Sorrow dripping Down your cheeks For the brilliant new Star we have To gaze upon. Like a candle, His fire Blazes on Long after it Dies.

Pure, and Inescapable. Perfectly captured For one split Second In the air. Shining forth, You bring that Tinge of sunlight to Every edge, Every drop. You perfectly capture Me for one split Second And every Second Beyond becomes Yours. Comet scraping Stars out of The horizon; It illuminates all The sky and Casts even darkness Into shadow. The sparks flying

From its surface Warm the very Core of Lonely hearts. Your words drag Stars from your eyes And cast my Shadows Into darkness, Lost and never to Arise again. My once-lonely Soul blazes for Your Sparking mind. Colours gracing the Land with Splashes of blue, Pinpricks of red, Lending a rainbow to All sights. I radiate green in your Presence; Your glow brightens My vision, Creates a mantis shrimp Panoply of Awe. And I gladly Let my star shine Proudly As yours.


Humour

Editor - Lauren Mulvihill

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10

“Ms Fahey, who “totally gets the whole minority thing or whatever”

Straight, White, Cisgender Student Has Problem With ‘Gender-Neutral’ Bathroom Lauren Mulvihill UCC Food Science student Eleanor Fahey has revealed this week that she is “not ok” with the recent introduction of a gender-neutral bathroom on campus. The decision by the Students Union to introduce the toilets to the SU Common Room has been the subject of much discussion. While some see the move as a step forward for inclusivity on campus, Ms Fahey – who is straight, white, and cisgender – has been left feeling “offended and downtrodden”. “Personally, I believe it will negatively affect my life,”

Eleanor claims. “Despite rarely being in the vicinity of the SU Common Room and the presence of several dozens of single-sex bathrooms on campus, I am personally uncomfortable with the thought of using such a bathroom, and for this reason, I believe the decision should be reversed.” Ms Fahey, who “totally gets the whole minority thing or whatever”, also added that she has “been oppressed, like,

“One of my friend’s friends is an actual lesbian, and I’m usually ok with being around her.” Ms Fahey has since organised a boycott of the bathroom in question, with her and a sizeable minority of two other students actively avoiding the facility in the SU Common Room every Monday, when she is on the other side of campus for a lecture in the Kane Building, which, like all other UCC buildings, has gender-specific toilet facilities.

a lot” throughout her life.

Student Believes People Care About His Leaving Certificate Results

exactly how well he did. The biochemistry student’s incessant chattering has been described as “insufferable” by unwilling listeners. “I’m sure he’s a bright young man,” says one prominent lecturer, who prefers to remain anonymous. “But I swear to God, I was going to give him a dig the other day in the Old Bar if he opened his mouth one more time.”

Lauren Mulvihill Many regular visitors to the UCC campus this week have been left red-faced upon discovering that Aaron O’Donnell, 18, is under the mistaken assumption that his peers actually give a shit about what he got in his Leaving Certificate.

“One time, I tried to get into a nightclub and the bouncer wouldn’t believe I was 18, and I was literally turning 18 two days after,” she laments, “so you can’t say I don’t understand oppression. Plus I have a really diverse social circle; one of my friend’s friends is an actual lesbian, and I’m usually ok with being around her. So if I can put up with this, all those people going on about needing gender-neutral bathrooms need to stop whining.” Many other students in the straight, white, cisgender subgroup who agree with Ms Fahey’s views feel that this move by the Student’s Union is yet another example of the type of adversity they face on a daily basis, with many believing that having the vote should be enough for “minorities”, and that by seeking equality, acceptance, and comfort in everyday life they are “just being awkward”.

Mr O’Donnel gloating to an uniterested peer

Mr. O’Donnell, who achieved an A1 in Honours maths and wants to make sure you know about it, has thus far remained oblivious to the discomfort of those around him as he continues to seek out gaps in conversations that will enable him to bring up the fact that he received 580 points. The Leaving Certificate results were released on the 12th of August this year with a significant amount of press attention; but not enough, it seems, for the first year student.

tea? I’m great at making tea, because I got an A2 in chemistry’. He left a note on the kitchen table the other day that turned out to be his results. He literally left his results on the table for me to read.”

“I thought I could forgive it the first time he mentioned it,” Aaron’s housemate, Kasper, admits. “I reckoned he was just making small talk. But now it’s like, ‘do you want

Despite the fact that Aaron is already in university and so clearly did well enough to get this far, he inexplicably appears to believe that staff and students deserve to know

‘do you want tea? I’m great at making tea, because I got an A2 in chemistry’.

While college campuses generally do not implement rules against this sort of showboating, unwritten codes of social behaviour have long frowned upon it. Many who fall prey to this unusual mannerism will eventually get their heads out of their arse and move on with their lives, but this difficult transition may take several weeks. Many leading experts believe Mr O’Donnell’s behaviour may be the result of a misguided attempt to impress his peers and fit in, while others believe he’s just a bit of a tit. “It’s getting really bad,” according to housemate Kasper. “He’s taken to cutting his sandwiches into triangles and measuring them so that he can find their cosine. Says he’s ‘just trying to get some use out of his mathematical knowledge’.” Aaron O’Donnell has declined to comment.


Film & TV Finding Film in Cork Aaron Frahill Coming down to live in UCC can be very daunting, especially when you don’t know where your new local cinema is (watching a movie in the Boole Basement doesn’t count) so here’s a mini-guide to watching movies in Cork City. The first place to go looking is at our own societies, who screen movies from time to time (probably in one of the Booles). The movies in question are usually collabs with other societies, or screenings for the sake of watching a good film.

Editor - Aaron Frahill11 11

Shows You Should Watch so You Seem Funny and/or Cool Xander Cosgrave UCC Express brings you the latest in television that you need to watch to be able to make witty reference to while you’re in college. At the very least, these shows are full of funny jokes, creative put-downs, and philosophical ideas about life that you can use to ‘pull’ on Tinder.

Bojack Horseman Bojack Horseman is a show about a Horse-man who is trying to deal with the peak of his life being decades ago. It is a show about confronting problems, and then running away from them. It is a show about having someone live on your sofa. It’s a show about not letting go; but like most of the shows I’ve mentioned, it’s about existential dread and battling your own mediocrity. And the third season just debuted on Netflix, so hey, what better time to dive in!

The Gate Cinema is only about ten minutes away from the UCC gates on North Main Street, and is your standard cinema experience, and pretty much the only one in central Cork City. So if you’re looking for jellies, slush puppies, and a mind-numbing blockbuster, this is probably your best bet.

“So if you’re looking for jellies, slush puppies, and a mind-numbing blockbuster, this is probably your best bet.” Triskel Christchurch (Tobin Street) is a cinema that’s been converted from a former church, and is a unique experience just for the setting itself. However, don’t come looking for your standard AAA blockbuster, as this art gallery cinema is mainly concerned with foreign films, or early release movies. If you’re feeling artsy, Triskel also has its own gallery, café and a record shop. If you’re willing to venture further – Mahon Point shopping centre houses the Omniplex, Cork’s only MAXX Screen. It’s pretty big, so if you’ve have a backlog of movies you’ll find most of the films from the last two months here, and it’s only a short bus journey away (215 bus from St.Patrick’s Street). So that’s how to get your movie fix in Cork, though sometimes there’s nothing better than lying in bed at night watching a horror movie on your laptop, hoping your door doesn’t suddenly open because you can’t be dealing with that.

That Mitchell and Webb Look A modern day Monty Python, ‘That Mitchell and Webb Look’ is a sketch show made by well, (David) Mitchell and (Robert) Webb. You’ve certainly seen clips of it online, probably the sketch with two SS officers trying to figure out if they’re the bad guys, or the adventures of the BMX Bandit and the Angel Summoner. The best part? All three seasons of it are on Netflix, and it’s short enough you can absorb it in one day of college that you should have probably spent studying. Rick and Morty In the Simpsons there’s a scene where a TV exec asks the kids what they want to see, and they describe a show that is both painfully real and hugely far out. The Exec has a breakdown, but Dan Harmon (of ‘Community’ fame) & Justin Roiland are made of stronger stuff, and they have made the Shwiftiest show in the history of Cartoons. Come for the Cartoons, stay for Mr.Meeseeks.

development that Dan Harmon (the creator & showrunner of Community) establishes keeps you emotionally invested from season one ‘all the way up’ to season six. Also every season except six is available on Netflix, which I learned to great success during my Leaving Cert mocks! #SixSeasonsAndAMovie

Not to hype it up or anything, but this is the best comedy sequel of this decade so far. The plot was changed slightly, but at heart it is the same movie as its predecessor – and that isn’t a bad thing. The chemistry between Jonah Hill & Channing Tatum is where the base of the humour lies, but Ice Cube does steal every scene he’s in. Also the deleted scene of the Scout Reel is amazing. 22 Jump Street spends most of its time looking at the culture of American college, and does this apply to UCC? For starters, there is slam poetry in this movie, and none in UCC...

22 Jump Street – Movie

Blue Mountain State – TV Show BMS is a louder version of 22 Jump Street that completely focuses on college football and Frat culture, and while a lot of people might not care for that combination, it does work. I think that even if you don’t like this show, the characters in it will be what you remember, especially Thad Castle. While I can recommend the TV show, please, dear God, stay away from the movie: while it has its moments, the movie is weak attempt at a Project X clone, and lacks the real humour of the show, even though it has the same writers. I guess some things just shouldn’t be done on the big screen.

Aaron Frahill

*May not be accurate in any form and could be greatly exaggerated

Community – TV Show (and potential movie) In short, Community is about seven different students in a community college study group, where their clashing personalities blend into a semi-functional group. They find themselves involved in every aspect & situation of college life – including a debating competition, a class on conspiracy theories, fighting off a zombie infection taking over the campus on Halloween and several campus-wide paintball championships. I can’t speak highly enough of this show; the balance between profanity & character

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Think of Friends, the TV show, then add Danny Devito and make everyone the worst possible human they could be. Then have them run a bar. That’s basically ‘It’s Always Sunny,’ a show about the worst people there could be. So watch it and feel slightly superior some of the time, and then awful other times, because you too have sank as low as these people. Ya jabroni!

Jessica Jones & Daredevil Marvel’s excursions into Netflix TV are some of the best Noir Thrillers on modern TV, and they have superheroes.

The Most Accurate* College Movies and TV Shows Starting in UCC brings with it a large amount of mixed emotions, because it’s possibly the largest transition you’ve made so far in life; and while it may be new to you, it’s not new to TV or Film, so here’s a list of movies & shows that document, to the highest degree of accuracy*, college life and what it brings.

These series are dark, reasonably gritty, and bring you into a part of the ‘Marvel Cinematic Universe’ that you may never have imagined. It’s a compelling and grown-up look at superheroes that is sorely missing from most of modern media that can’t be missed. Finally, it also has actually well-developed female characters, which are often missing from TV.


MUSIC

Editor - Cailean Coffey

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It all started in College... Cailean Coffey So you’re about to start college: you’re nervous, jumping to leave home but also savoring the moments where you actually have money; your parents are telling you how much they are going to miss having you around, and you wish your dog an emotional goodbye. Then you are thrown into the college life of lectures, parties, lack of sleep and the ‘6 before 6.’ While it can be difficult to find your place in college at the start, in no time you will have found a group of likeminded individuals who are into the same type of movies or books as you; sometimes it’s the people you meet in College that change your life forever, and take you places you never dreamed you could reach. College is potentially the most important period of your life, as the major stress of the Leaving Certificate is done, you are now left to study what you actually want to know about, and you are allowed to do whatever you actually want to do. Many people take the time in college to form bands, music groups and even record labels, and some of these groups & labels have gone on to be some of the biggest in history.

“Sometimes it’s the people you meet in College that change your life forever”

ing the song in the Little Big Planet ads) were founded in a dorm room at Emerson College in Boston. One of the biggest bands in the world right now, Coldplay, were formed when lead singer Chris Martin & guitarist Johnny Buckland met while studying in the University of London. Radiohead began to grow while its members were in College in 1985, when Thom Yorke, Colin Greenwood, Ed O’Brien and Phil Selway all met in Oxfordshire England, and toured during the breaks between the College terms. By 1991 they had signed a six- album record deal.

“Two of the biggest giants of British rock were founded while its members were in college.” It wasn’t just bands that flourish in university, but colleges have also kick-started solo careers. Robert Zimmerman, AKA Bob Dylan, began doing gigs around the country while he was a student at the University of Minnesota. It’s here that he also began to write some of his most famous songs. Rapper Childish Gambino, who also starred in hit-series Community, started his rap career in New York University while putting comedy videos on YouTube. Lady Gaga was a student at New York University’s Tisch School of Arts before she became famous, and this is where many say she honed her trademark look & style. Ice Cube, yes, Ice Cube of N.W.A. fame, went to college and began nurturing his rapping skills as a student of ‘architectural drafting’ at the Phoenix Institute of Technology.

Two of the biggest giants of British rock were founded while its members were in college. In It’s also undisputable that Hip-Hop would not be as popular to1965, Syd Barrett, Nick Mason, Roger Waters and day had it not been for a college student, and specifically colRichard Wright formed the first incarnation of lege dorm room 712 in Weinstein Hall at New York UniversiPink Floyd, the band that went on to have one of ty. It was in this dorm room that Rick Rubin produced albums the bestselling albums of all time, as Mason, Wafor the likes of LL Cool J and The Beastie Boys, and set up the ters and Wright all attended Regent Street Poly‘Def Jam Records’ label. Rick recorded R&B and hip-hop pretechnic. While they studied architecture the band dominantly, and it was he who pushed it to the forefront when would often use the tearoom in the basement of he decided to combine Public Enemy with Aerosmith to make the university as a practice space. It was during “Walk This Way” and to push hip-hop, through collaboration, this time that they began writing songs that would onto the then anti-rap MTV. The label is now one of the biggest feature on the band’s album “The Wall,” which in the world, and has the likes of Frank Ocean, Justin Bieber, would turn them into the biggest rock stars on the Rihanna, Kanye West, Desiigner, Vic Mensa and Jay-Z on its planet. Around the same time as Pink Floyd were books. A recent study by New York Consultant Matt Daniels exploring their sound, Queen was formed. As Faalso found that Def Jam Records was the most successful Hiprookh Bulsara (more commonly known as Freddie Hop record label of all time, with over 150 hits from 48 differPink Floyd in 1968 Mercury) was studying Art & Design at the Ealing ent artists, spending 1,925 weeks on the charts overall. All this stemming from College of Art, Brian May was famously studying for a PhD in Astrophysics, and something that Rick Rubin did to Roger Taylor was studying Dentistry at the London Hospital Medical College. impress a few of his college friends. Mercury was going to college with a member of the band Smile, a band fronted by Taylor and May. Mercury joined as the band’s lead singer in 1970, and used his As scary and weird as college may college degree to design Queen’s iconic logo: the letter Q with a phoenix on top, seem at the start, it is often the crewhich, according to Mercury, meant immortality. The band went on to worldwide ative centre of an artist’s life, where fame, and has permanently figured in discussions on the best bands of all time. all their influences have stem from. In more recent times, the likes of Vampire Weekend were formed while all mem- Thousands of bands are formed in bers were attending Columbia University in New York. Passion Pit (known for do- Colleges around the world every year, and many go on to be quite successful. So if you’re talented, or even want to learn to play music, grab a few friends and teach each other. If it’s not music you’re into, find something else and join a society: you never know where it could take you.

Vampire Weekend

Ice Cube


GAMING

Editor - Jonathan Soltan13 13

Big Gaming Releases of 2016 Jonathan Soltan So you’re starting college, and you already feel

Pokemon Go Outside and Catch ‘Em All Jonathan Soltan Unless you’ve been living under a sizeable rock for the last month or so you may have heard about a little game called Pokemon Go. For those of you who have just woken up from a coma or something, Pokemon Go is a free mobile game that allow you to catch Pokemon by walking around in the real world. It works using Google Maps data to display roads and other features around you, and then populates the world with Pokemon. The game was rolled out gradually, region by region, and had a fairly rocky launch to say the very least. The servers crashed multiple times a day, and people weren’t able to log on for hours at a time; it was a situation that would ruin most games. However Pokemon Go seems to be, for the most part, bulletproof: in spite of all the crashes and glitches, it made Nintendo’s stock jump at a rate not seen in over thirty years since the launch of the original Famicom in Japan, and with more daily users than Twitter & Tinder.

“However Pokemon Go seems to be, for the most part, bulletproof” At the time of writing, the game still has a glitch that renders the game, for the most part, very hard to actually play. Referred to as the “3 foot glitch” it messes with the displayed distance of nearby Pokemon. When functioning as intended, the game tells you how close to you Pokemon are by displaying a number of footprints below an image of said Pokemon, with three being the furthest away and none being the closest. However, this glitch makes it so that every Pokemon is displayed as being “three footprints” away from you. This makes

it virtually impossible to tell if you’re getting closer to or further away from a Pokemon you’re trying to catch. It’s not all bad news, though; although the game is certainly rough it’s still an incredibly enjoyable experience, walking around and finding Pokemon in the “real world”. The game is still at its peak popularity as well, so there’s a sense of camaraderie among players (or rivalry depending on how seriously you take teams).

“Although the game is certainly rough it’s still an incredibly enjoyable experience” UCC is also riddled with Pokestops, so I imagine that once the college year properly starts, there’ll be no shortage of lures being dropped or gym battles taking place. The one downside is that if you’re like me and insist on catching everything you see, you’ll probably end up being late for lectures since you’ll be stopping every two feet to catch the seemingly infinite number of Drowzee that hang out around campus (I feel like there’s a joke about lecturers in there somewhere...). Even if you’re not interested in getting into the nitty gritty of optimising the use of your candy, saving up a load of Pidgey to evolve them once you use your Lucky Egg to maximise your XP gain, and a bunch of other things that make me use words in very weird ways, the game is still a great incentive to exercise. Hell, it managed to get me off my ass once or twice to go for a walk and if it managed to do that, I think it’s a pretty successful game. Just please look where you’re going when you’re chasing that Kabuto.

like you’re drowning under the tidal wave of things you need remember, and you’re trying to decipher the building layouts; but it’s never too early to think about what games you might want to play when you should be doing assignments, and Uncle Johnny is here to help give you the low-down on the biggest games coming out in the next few months. Releasing in early August is No Man’s Sky, possibly the most highly anticipated game in recent years. The game has been shrouded in secrecy since its reveal but has captured the imagination of the gaming public with its sheer scale alone. All we know for sure about it is that you travel around in a spaceship to trillions of planets doing... something. Then you get to the centre of the galaxy where you’ll find... something. Regardless of how little we know, it’s a game I’m very much looking forward to, and certainly one to keep an eye on. Coming out in late August is Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, a direct sequel to the critically acclaimed Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Deus Ex is set in a future where people are able to augment their bodies with various mechanical enhancements. This, naturally, creates a division between augmented & un-augmented people that the developers call “mechanical apartheid”. At its core, though, the game is a first person/third person role playing game with deep stealth mechanics. Definitely one to keep an eye on if any of those things tickle your fancy. Looking ahead to October we have the release of the mythical Last Guardian, a game a decade in the making. Team ICO’s long awaited followup to both ICO and Shadow of the Colossus, ‘The Last Guardian’ sees you playing as a young boy who finds a giant bird-dog named Trico. Together the two must escape the castle they are trapped in. Not much is known about the game, but if you’ve been following its development you’re probably just happy that it’s finally coming out. Definitely wait for reviews before picking this one up as it’s the type of game that’s either going to be a 0/10 or 10/10.

Coming in November we have Dishonored 2, the sequel to 2012’s amazing first-person stealth game Dishonored. The original was a fantastic game that lacked polish & fine-tuning, so hopefully the follow-up will be able to improve in that regard. This time around we have a choice of protagonists in Corvo Attano and Emily Kaldwin, with both possessing different sets of powers. The game boasts definite replay value, and with it taking place in a totally different setting than the original, it should keep people that payed the original engaged long enough. I personally loved the first game, so I hope this can deliver on the promise of the original. The last game I’ll mention is the sequel to a personal favourite of mine: Gravity Rush 2. The original Gravity Rush came to the Vita in 2012 and did fairly well, by the standards of the Vita anyway. Obviously Sony didn’t like the idea of sinking money into another game on a console they don’t want to support, so we’re getting the sequel on the massively popular PS4. In the game you play as Kat, a girl with the ability to change the flow of gravity. Doing this you fall around the world beating up monsters and generally being a kind-of superhero to the people. The original was great fun and the sequel looks to be a step-up in every way. If you haven’t picked up the original, a PS4 port came out in February. and will undoubtedly get discounted multiple times before the sequel releases at the start of December. Of course, these are only a few of the many game yet to come out this year, but these are just some of the ones I’m personally looking forward to. Also coming out are Battlefield 1, Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare, Gears of War 4, along with new consoles like the Xbox One S and the Playstation VR. As always, it’s a problem of having too many games and not enough time to play them in; as problems go, though, it’s a good one to have.

Trico from The Last Guardian


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Freshers Issue | UCC Express

2015/16: Looking Back, Looking Forward

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Dylan O Connell - Sports Editor

The UCC Men carried the baton from here, with the A team, led by Tim Kelly, gaining a convincing 4-1 victory over defending champions NUIG. Adding to these successes the college was also awarded the title of “Best Men’s Team.” To round off an excellent performance, Andre Bilro Pereira de Araujo was also awarded the “Best Judoka; Charlie Hegarty Shield” for an excellent display of Judo, and embodying the true spirit of the sport.

Looking back, 2015/16 was a mixed year in sport for the college. In some respects UCC showed themselves victorious, there is an underlying heartbreak to every success. Athletics- In what was certainly the sporting moment of 2015/16, UCC Athletics Club had a phenomenal year, capped off with an excellent Irish Athletics Track and Field Championships in Athlone. A definite highlight was the infamous, “Depths of Hell” performance from UCC Quercus Student Phil Healy in the IUAA 4x400 title race for UCC, with the Irish International bursting through the ranks from last place to win. Healy would also go on to win the 200m title and set a new college record of 23.93 seconds. Her sister, Joan Healy, also won the 100m title for UCC, while Joan Sweeney won gold in the Shot Put, and David Cussen won in the high jump. Louise Shannahan picked up silver in the steeplechase, Ruairí O Cinneide won sil-

ver in the 3,000m walk, as did Michael Kenny in the 35lbs Weight for Distance. Among the bronze medals were Christine Neville in the 400m dash, Michael Kenny for the discus at 33,90m, Bobby Smith for the javelin at 47.32m, and David Cussen for the long jump at 6.70m. Judo- 2016 has been a massive year for UCC Judo, with the Club fittingly awarded the “Southside District Sport Award” in March 2016 for their performance at the 2016 Irish Intervarsities in Derry. With 140 competitors taking part from 10 Universities across the island, both UCC Ladies and Mens teams put in a valiant performance bringing home 28 medals and 3 special awards. Captain Katie O’Donovan lead the A team to a convincing 2-1 victory against Ulster University to begin the competition. Soon the B team, led by Rosemine Achbang, won a bronze medal, also securing the award of “Best Ladies Team” for the college for the first time since 2002.

From Keane to the Quad Dylan O Connell - Sports Editor

Looking back, and looking forward, Summer 2016 for Irish Soccer has been a quite the journey; beginning back in June, with Republic of Ireland drawing with Sweden & beating Italy to inspire the dormant green flames, to our own Cork City FC & Dundalk, who progressed through the rounds of the UEFA Europa League & Champions League respectively. While most of us saw the pundit’s coverage, and an endless repeat of Robbie Brady’s majestic header passed Sirigu, the Skull and Crossbones of UCC laid firm within the foundations of the Irish dream.

We may not be have been in France singing for the Boys in Green but the legacy of the boys can be seen across Cork and UCC. From Shane Long to Roy Keane, the Cork City connections are massive; even our own University College Cork ties into the vast tapestry. UCC’s own Roy Keane Sports Scholarship has been proudly serving the Cork Community since 2012; founded on the principal to continue UCC’s excellent tradition of sport & academic success, the program “is to give talented sportspeople an opportunity to develop their sporting career by offering the highest standards in coaching and train-

Powerlifting- Fittingly UCC claimed the title of “best overall club” at the intervarsity competition for the 3rd year in a row. Held in LIT, UCC had a fantastic competition. Amongst female lifters 3 came in 1st, 1 came in 2nd and 2 finished 3rd, with the greatest overall total being achieved by Claire Kelly of 292.5Kg. Among the male competitors 4 came in 1st, 3 came in 2nd and 2 came in 3rd. The highest total was achieved by Kenneth Nwaezeigwe of 647.5Kg, beating his Trinity competitor by 37.5Kg. UCC also had success at the IDFPA national single lifts where 6 of our athletes competed. The highlight from this round of events was our own Jack O’Dwyer, who came in 1st with a PB of 5 kg in the squat, squatting 180Kg.

astounding year, with the club gaining promotion from Division 2A to 1B last May following an excellent season for the Leesiders. Other highlights include Paul Kiernan captaining Ireland Under 20s last June at the Rugby World Cup. Soccer- Following a historic 2014/15 which saw UCC win the Intervarsity treble, 2015/16 was a year of mixed fortunes for the Leesiders. After crashing out of the Harding & Crowley Cups, UCC were also eliminated at the quarter final stage of the Collingwood Cup after a penalty shootout loss to Maynooth. It wasn’t all doom and gloom for UCC as the Freshers took home the CUFL Division 4 title. GAA- To summarise a year of highs and lows, UCC GAA captured the feel of the campus. The hurlers were knocked out of the group stage of the Fitzgibbon Cup, and the footballers bowed out to UCD in the quarterfinals of the Sigerson. While the UCC Ladies had an equally mixed year, with the footballers being knocked out in the quarterfinals of the O’Connor Cup, and the Camogie Players being beaten in Ashbourne Cup final, there was some positives to take with Maire Ambrose from UCC getting an All Star selection for her performance.

Rugby- UCC Men’s Rugby Club had an

ing whilst completing their chosen course of academic study,” and has been strongly utilised by Cobh Ramblers’ Sean O Mahony, former Waterford United Under 19’s player Daniel Pender and Cork City Women FC’s Ciara McNamara. Not only are the players nurtured on the pitch by excellent coaches, such as former Cork City FC player Noel Healy (and up until 2013 current Cork City FC manager John Caulfield), they are also supported academically through academic tutors. Roy Keane; who never utters a word over his connections has himself been honoured for his services to football in Cork with the awarding of an Honor-

ary Doctorate in Law from UCC. Meanwhile, UCC graduate and right back Michael McSweeney became the first UCC Alumni to appear in a European Competition when the defender played a key role in the Rebel Army’s run in the UEFA Europa League. This campaign, which saw the Leesiders knock-out Northern Irish outfit Linfield, and Swedish opposition FC Häcken. Former UCC student Daryl Horgan played a crucial role in Dundalk’s qualification run in the UEFA Champions League, where the Galway native set up David McMillian to seal a 2-2 Draw in Iceland for the Lilywhites, and a spot in the UEFA Champions League Third Round Qualifying against Borisov Bate.


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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Fresher’s Issue

HOCKEY’D: Irish player goes to ground during 5-0 loss to The Netherlands in Mardyke.

(PHOTO: UCC Sport)

From College Road to Rio; the Olympic Connection Dylan O Connell - Sports Editor

While the road to Rio is long, and many of us are left to our television screens for our fill of the boxing, golf and cycling, UCC has brought the action closer this summer. On the 4th & 6th of July, UCC hosted two international hockey matches between Ireland and the Netherlands in the build up to Rio 2016. While, “Make History” is a phrase synonymous with the Boys in Green’s Euro 2016 escapades, the appearance of the Irish Hockey team this summer is filled with its own tales for the history books. 2016 will be the first time the Irish Men’s Hockey team has qualified for

the Olympics since 1908, and the first Irish team overall to qualify since 1948. However, the rush of excitement to Rio was weltered with the dominance of the Dutch in the two games, who are ranked second place in the world and were Silver medallists in the 2012 London Olympics. Ireland fought hard over the two games and bravely lost 7-2 in the opening game, while the Dutch cruised to a 5-0 victory in the second leg. However there are a number of positives to take from the series, with Mikie Watt putting on an impressive display, making a break into the Dutch circle

but the move was broken down by an alert Dutch defence. 5 minutes later and Matthew Bell was creating a chance of his own with a bullet of a shot across the D but there was nobody on the end of it to hammer home. It’s these little glimmers of promise that give the Irish camp hope. Speaking about the recent Dutch Series, Irish head coach Craig Fulton said, “It was so important for us to play Riobound teams, both from our own pool and the other pool. Playing the Dutch was always going to be tough but you couldn’t ask for a better opposition to play.”

The decision for the games to take place in Cork City, and UCC specifically, was to broaden the appeal of the Irish Hockey team and to spread their support through the counties, especially following the success of the Celtic Cup in 2008. While the score line was heavy at the Mardyke, optimism remains high amongst the Irish camp. While the gloss from Euro 2016 has faded, a nation’s focus turns now to a different Boys in Green as the summer of sport rolls on.

Preview: Inside 2015/16: Looking Back, Looking Forward, From Keane to the Quad


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