UCC Express Vol. 20 Issue 5

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 05 | Tuesday November 15th

Report on Garda Strike Page 4 - News

The USI ran a ‘Chats for Change’ Campus Road show in campuses across Ireland (Photo: USI)

Chats for Change Initiative Launched Sarah McInerney – Staff Writer

Over the last number of years, November has become mental health month and each year sees the emergence of new initiatives surrounding mental wellbeing and illness. PleaseTalk and their partners have launched the annual ‘’Chats for Change’’ to encourage students to talk about their mental health.

Recent studies have shown a 41% increase in third level students seeking counselling or in other words beginning to talk.

PleaseTalk is an Irish, student-led mental health movement that urges students to talk about mental health, and understand how talking is a strength rather than a weakness. They promote the help available to those who are strug-

gling while at college, and direct them to a place where they can get help. They promote their message by working with the various support networks within a college, such as chaplains, counsellors’ etc.

PleaseTalk, St. Patrick’s Hospital Mental Health Services and the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) launched their annual ‘Chats for Change’ campaign on the 7th of November nationwide, to encourage students to talk about their mental health. In collaboration with Robert Roberts tea, thousands of ‘’chats for change’’ packs have been distributed across campuses throughout Ireland in an attempt to ignite conversation among students about mental health. The packs contain information about various support services that stu-

dents can discuss over a cup of tea.

While this is one of many fantastic initiatives taken about mental health, there’s still a long way to go. Recent research conducted by AHEAD (Association for Higher Education Access and Disability) showed a 41% increase in students seeking counselling, and that staff cutbacks can result in a 6-month waiting list for students to see a counsellor.

Ahead of the campaign launch PleaseTalk campaign coordinator Treasa Hannifey said “we at PleaseTalk are delighted to roll out the ‘Chats for Change’ campaign again.

Continues on next page...

‘Asking For It’ & Rape Culture Page 6 - Features

Byline Interview: Heathers Byline Magazine

NEWS INSIDE TODAY: 2

NEWS

FROM THE EDITOR

04 USI Help Student Tenants 05 Trump Beats Hillary

FEATURES

10 Magenta Mania Runs Wild 11 Vinyl Revival

SEXPRESS

31 Consent and Q&As

BYLINE

14 Mystic Greg Returns 29 Recipe for Lamb Curry

SPORT

38 UFC 205 Report 36 City Lift FAI Cup

EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-Chief - Robert O’Sullivan News Editor - Chris McCahill Deputy News Editor - Ciaran O’Halloran Designer - Evan Smith Features Editor - Mary Collins Deputy Features Editor - Ciara Dinneen Photographer - Emmet Curtin Sports Editor - Dylan O Connell Deputy Sports Editor - Darragh Walsh Eagarthóir Gaeilge - Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive - Sarah Dunphy Layout Editor - Beth Alexander Byline Editor - Lauren Mulvihill Byline Associate Editor - Sarah Ryan Fiction Editor - Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Music Editor - Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor - Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor - Iris Maher Food Editor - Xander Cosgrave Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston Niamh O’Reilly Méabh McMahon

Fear & Loathing in 2016 Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

I will admit that I have the privilege – and it’s the only privilege I seem to have – that I get to read over everything in this paper before I go to write this editorial. To be honest, this week, I’m not sure what to put here, and the temptation to simply copy-and-paste Lauren or Chris’ editorials here is the greatest its been all year, but I will forge on.

As I write, a sleepy fucking cat named Loki is, surprise, asleep at

my feet, it’s 4am and I’ve just written a page about Professor Mary Ryan. Ryan, if you didn’t know, was an inspirational figure who lived through hard times, purely because she was a woman in turn-of-thecentury Ireland. And however inspirational she may be it brings me back to the 8th of November, and the quiet fear that lives inside me.

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Donald J Trump has been elected as President of the United States. This is the cause of my fear; and it’s not a “bleedin-heart liberal” fear, or just a sense of disappointment that Hillary Clinton wasn’t able to follow in the footsteps of Ryan or Robinson, it’s a very real, tangible fear.

Around this time, at 4am, 6 days ago, it was guaranteed that Trump had won, though that’s not the part that scares me: with Trump, who in reality likely won’t build his walls or start his wars, came people like Mike Pence, and with them came ‘solemn covenants’ to repeal many things introduced in the last presidency. Things like protections for LGBT workers and citizens, things like the affordable care act (aka Obamacare).

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

And as news came in that morning, at around this time, I looked through Twitter to see friends, colleagues and family members in America talk about how ‘without the Affordable Care Act they will die, as they can no longer afford their cancer treatment’ or how they fear for their lives simply because they are trans, or because a massive proponent of electro-shock conversion therapy is a heartbeat away from the Presidency, and I can do no more than sit.

That’s the real fear, for me: knowing that people will suffer and not being able to do anything.

Robert O’Sullivan

FROM THE NEWS EDITOR

Perception and identity Editorial Chris McCahill

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”- Dr. Seuss I’m not sure if it’s because of the internet, social media or if it’s something else, but in today’s world we seem to be obsessed with image and

perception. As a generation of people, we constantly fret about how the world perceives us, whether our impression upon other people is positive or negative. We create multiple personas, showing off a different side of ourselves to different people or groups. Ask yourself: do you show the same side of yourself to your best friend that you do to your family, class or work mates, or do you have a totally different person that you show to yourself and another that you show in public? I wonder, have we become so obsessed with our own image and how we’re seen that we are no longer comfortable with who we are; do we fear rejection, humiliation or outright hatred if we are completely honest about who we are to the world, or is it a case where, in order to fit in or to gain acceptance, that we change who we are? Similarly, I ask how honest are people with themselves - do people attach themselves to certain groups, trends or ways of life in order to completely avoid asking themselves the question of who they really are? Of course, we all grow and

change over time, and our identity will undoubtedly develop and change too, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be honest with ourselves and be who we really are; and should you lose a friend or friends over it, so be it.

As Dr. Seuss said: “those who mind don’t matter.”

Chris McCahill

NEWS

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Story Continued from the Front Page...

This campaign hopes to remind students that by having a cup of tea and asking someone if they are okay can have such a positive impact on a person’s mental health and well-being.” Ms. Hanniffy continued to reiterate that talking is a sign of strength and not of weakness.

“Recent research showed a 41% increase in students seeking counselling”

A chill-out zone was set up in each of the campuses taking part, where students could get the chats for change packs, read mental health literature and find out about the supports available to them.

A survey will be conducted during this campaign, where students will be asked about their mental health perceptions, stigma and accessing support services in third level colleges. Those who enter will be in with a chance of winning one of 4 €50 One4All vouchers.

“A chill-out zone was set up in each of the campuses taking part, where students could read mental health literature and find out about the supports available to them. ”

For any UCC students wishing to reach out, there are several supports available, including the UCC Health Service, where you can get put in touch with on campus

services like counselling and CBT, you can also make a free appointment with a GP here. The UCC Chaplaincy, the UCC Students Union Welfare Officer Rory, and the UCC Nightline service if you want an anonymous perspective. Outside of the University, organisations like the Samaritans (116 123) and Pieta House are there to help. All the above services are free and confidential. Don’t suffer in silence.

Garda Strike Report Michelle Beazley – News Writer In late October it was announced that the Gardaí had planned four days of withdrawal of service in November. Rank and file members of the Gardaí announced industrial action on the foot of disputes over working conditions and wages. Major complaints revolved around these conditions, especially when put in comparison to other civil servants, who Gardaí felt had been treated more favourably.

The foremost of these included being the only public servants to work 40 hours per week, that pay for new Gardaí is the worst among civil servants, that they do not have the right to strike, and that they do not have the access to arbitration supports provided by the State that other public servants do. The Gardaí also believe that they should be entitled to more favourable sick-leave policies, given the potential risks involved in their work.

A total of 95% of Garda Representative Association (GRA) members voted posi-

tively for industrial action. Two-thirds of the union members voted.

On the proposed dates, 4 consecutive Fridays commencing on November 4th, the union members planned to withdraw from service, with calls going unanswered in Garda stations and no interactions with members of the public.

The GRA had reported that emergency services would still be in operation. In a statement, the GRA said, “We have exhausted every channel of industrial relations open to us. Government has taken advantage of our limited rights. Our members feel that we have nowhere left to turn.”

“We have exhausted every channel of industrial relations open to us. Government has taken advantage of our limited rights.”

Following an eleventh hour meeting, a halt was called to the first proposed strike by officials from the GRA. Later in the week the 3 remaining work stoppages planned for the month were postponed on the foot of a new proposal from the Labour Court for improving work conditions for rank and file Gardaí. The proposal will go to vote by the 10,500 members of the GRA, and are worth an estimated increase in pay of €3,600 per member. The proposal would also allow them access to the Workplace Relations Commission and Labour Court to resolve workplace disputes. The primary financial benefits in the proposal included a €15 payment for each day of annual leave, to reflect their requirement to attend court even on days off, and an increase of €500 in rent allowance to take effect from 1 January 2017. The Association of Garda Sergeants and Inspectors described the proposal as “a victory.”

The deal received by the Gardaí has in-

evitably triggered fresh demands for similar increases from other public sector unions.

While members of the force are legally prohibited from striking, similar actions were taken before in May of 1998 over displeasure with pay conditions; as much as 100% of Gardaí in some areas called in sick to work, on a day later referred to as the ‘blue flu’.

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NEWS

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

Around the Universities:

USI Makes Submission to the Strategy for the Rented Sector Ciaran O’Halloran – Deputy News Editor

The Union of Students in Ireland (USI) has made a submission to the Strategy for the Rented Sector. The Strategy will provide a vision of the role that the rental sector will play in the short, medium and long terms, as set out in Rebuilding Ireland. USI believes that it is crucial that affordable and secure rental accommodation is available for the needs of students in the private rental sector nationwide. According to students renting in the private rental sector, the most prevalent problems are: increasing difficulty to find accommodation; high, unaffordable rents, low quality accommodation, reluctance of landlords to rent to students; significant distances from college; vague deposit deductions without breakdowns as well as lack of written lease agreements and regulations.

In the housing market, students are competing with those who can pay higher rents and therefore are very often priced out or rejected by the landlords. This gives rise to homelessness, overcrowding and health & safety risks, with a wider impact on labour mobility and having a negative consequence on the functioning of the economy. According to the Eurostudent Survey V Report on the Social and Living Conditions of Higher Education Students in Ireland (2013) 35% of student population lived in private landlord’s property, which constituted the main student accommodation.

“The time is ripe to address the hous-

ing crisis setting a long-term goal and design short and mid-term measures to reach it,” Annie Hoey, USI President, said. “Policy-makers need to look at the needs of various groups of stakeholders and restore the sense of stability both in terms of affordability and availability of housing for all. Without adequate protection of the right to accommodation for students, we will sentence Ireland to socio-economic stagnation.”

The Strategy for the Rented Sector to which the USI provided their submission will be built upon four pillars: security, supply, standard and service.

The USI proposed in the submission to include the following actions in the rental strategy.

Security: • Exploring the feasibility of introducing necessary amendments to legislation to ensure the right to adequate housing for everyone • Designing action towards changing the current Residential Tenancies Act to include renting a room (“digs”) as one of the types of tenancies.

• Introducing a system of rent regulation to provide greater certainty for student tenants and landlor Supply: • To develop a coherent programme of conditional supply-side supports to increase availability of affordable rental housing, e.g. tax reliefs for renovation of vacant homes • Proposing a diverse range of in-

centives for the landlords including, but not limited to, tax breaks.

USI welcomes the rent-a-room scheme, but believes that it may lead to driving-up the rental prices, therefore USI suggests the introduction of brackets that will be aligned with the number of rooms that landlord provides.

Standard: • Introducing a nationwide intensive inspection programme for private rental accommodation that will be based on a RTB-quality label/certification.

• Introducing more points of contact for free of charge dispute resolution for students, along with a point of contact for USI’s officers to improve and facilitate the procedures.

Service: • Introducing the Deposit Protection Scheme that will be managed and administered by RTB. • Introducing a nationwide training programme for new landlords (also in digs), student accommodation officers and staff members of other relevant organisations with the usage of new technologies.

• Continuing supporting Union of Students in Ireland’s work to mobilise the landlords to free up the unused spaces in their households.

The submission in its entirety can be found on the USI website.

UCD: A referendum was held to again decide the UCDSU stance on the issue of abortion. This followed a similar referendum held three years ago, in which UCD students voted for a liberal stance on abortion.

A new group called ‘UCD Students for Fair Representation’ wanted the SU to be neutral on the issue, and having gotten the requisite signatures, a referendum was held. The proposal was rejected by a margin of 64%, with students opting to maintain the SU stance on abortion. The UCDSU, following the result of the referendum, made a submission to the Citizen’s Assembly in favour of Repealing the 8th.

TCD: New research from scientists at Trinity College Dublin suggests that the very oldest pieces of rock on Earth – zircon crystals – are likely to have formed in the craters left by violent asteroid impacts that peppered our nascent planet, rather than via plate tectonics as was previously believed.

CIT: Cork Institute of Technology has recently launched a new, multi-campus health promotion initiative, ‘A Healthy CIT’, with the aim to promote, enable and facilitate healthier lifestyle choices across all campuses of the Institute.

NUIG: Anne Byrne (née Gannon) is set to be celebrated by her alma mater, eighty years after she graduated. 101-year-old Anne is NUIG’s oldest living alumna, having graduated in 1936. She was honoured

by NUIG on Thursday November 3rd with a public interview about her time spent at University, her life in America and her music.

NEWS

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Donald Trump Shocks World with Election Win Chris McCahill & Ciaran O’Halloran

The bruising contest that was the US presidential election came to a surprising end in the early hours of the 9th of November. Donald J. Trump, the former real estate tycoon and reality TV star, defied the expectations of political observers at every turn, delivering his biggest surprise yet by winning the state of Wisconsin and thus clinching the presidency. The surprise victory for Donald Trump marked a stunning conclusion to a divisive, polarizing and often bitter campaign, unlike any in recent memory.

In the end, Trump’s nationalist, anti-globalist, anti-political correctness message appealed to a disenfranchised disillusion “silent majority” that propelled him to the White House.

It was a historic election of firsts, as Hillary Clinton was looking to become the first female president, and Donald Trump was seeking to become the first president with no previous political or military experience. The outcome defied both polling companies and pundits alike, as most if not all had predicted a Clinton victory given her persistent, if modest, lead in the polls.

“The outcome defied both polling companies and pundits alike” The former reality-TV star drove record-turnout during the Republican primary by mobilising millions of mostly white, working-class voters, who were invigorated by his populist message, opposition to free trade, and hawkish stance on immigration. Despite scepticism that he could replicate this success in the general election, with a bigger, more diverse electorate, Trump did exactly that. Before electoral day, polling revealed a country apparently divided down demographic lines. It was supposedly a country where men and white people tended to back Trump, while women and ethnic minorities flocked to the Democratic Party candidate. These demographic splits did come to light to a certain extent, but a key part in Clinton’s failure was the fact that ethnic minorities and women didn’t back her in the numbers initially expected.

Even though the overall share of the electorate for ‘whites’ dropped for the seventh consecutive election, to 70 percent, Trump prevailed by pushing Clinton to meagre levels of support among them. Exit polls showed that she won just 37 percent of all whites, including 31 percent of white men. The exit polls also suggest that while minorities such as African-Americans, Hispanics and Asian Americans overwhelmingly supported Clinton over Trump, the level of their support was significantly less than that of President Obama’s campaign in 2012. At the same time, Trump managed to slightly increase his support among whites in comparison to recent republican nominees. The Hispanic share of the vote ticked up nationwide, there was evidence of a significant decline in participation among black voters, especially in the industrial Midwestern states, where Trump’s victory was sealed. On the point of gender, Mr. Trump made gains amongst men, and only suffered slight loss among women, despite accusations of sexual assault and sexism. In fact, a slight majority of white women (53%) voted for Trump over Clinton, and while Clinton won the female vote overall, the gap was surprisingly small.

“only suffered slight loss among women, despite accusations of sexual assault and sexism” Based on information from exit polls, Mrs.Clinton’s strong support was heavily outmatched by gains Trump made across rural America.

Similarly, while Clinton made gains in

larger metropolitan areas, she was thoroughly rejected in smaller cities, especially in the industrial heartland or “Rust-Belt states” of Pennsylvania, Ohio, Wisconsin and Michigan. This clean sweep through the Rust Belt, netting 64 electoral votes, the exact number that Mitt Romney fell short of the presidency four years ago, won Trump the election. These states were the manufacturing hubs that used to drive the American industrial engine in the 70s and 80s, but have suffered a dramatic collapse in recent years due to trade deals like NAFTA. As filmmaker Michael Moore said about the Rust Belt “From Green

“From Green Bay to Pittsburgh, this, my friends, is the middle of America – broken, depressed, struggling” Bay to Pittsburgh, this, my friends, is the middle of America – broken, depressed, struggling, the smokestacks strewn across the countryside with the carcass of what we use to call the Middle Class.

Angry, embittered working (and nonworking) people who were lied to by the trickle-down of Reagan and abandoned

by Democrats.”

Trump also won back the states of Iowa and Florida that the Democrats took in ’08. Clinton won a tight race in Virginia, but was unable to carry the neighbouring swing state of North Carolina and its crucial 15 Electoral College votes. Trump triumphed in the bellwether state Ohio, capturing its 18 Electoral College votes, the state being the only one to have successfully picked the winning candidate in every election since 1964. Trump won Florida’s vote for the 2016 presidency, marginally ahead of Clinton. As both the most elderly and equally one of the most racially diverse states in America, Florida had been one of the hardest to call swing states in this election, with mar-

gins in recent polling being too close to call. However, in the end, the deeply Republican “panhandle” region of Western Florida, as well as cities like Jacksonville, carried Florida for Trump.

Mr Trump will govern with a Congress fully under Republican control. The GOP fended off a Democratic challenge in the Senate, and the extended its grip on the House. The GOP protected its majorities in both chambers, ensuring that Republicans will have unified control of government for the first time since 2005.

In a victory speech devoid of the divisive rhetoric that had marked his campaign, US President-elect Donald Trump thanked his rival Hillary Clinton, and vowed that the forgotten men and women in America will remain forgotten no longer, and that the rebuilding of the nation will be done keeping their voices in mind. He said “Working together, we will begin the urgent task of rebuilding our nation and renewing the American dream… The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. We are going to fix our inner cities and rebuild our highways, bridges, tunnels, airports, schools, hospitals. We’re going to rebuild our infrastructure, which will become, by the way, second to none.

And we will put millions of our people to work as we rebuild it,” It remains unclear what a Trump presidency holds for the world, although President-elect Trump has reassured Taoiseach Enda Kenny that he will be welcome in the White House on St. Patricks Day as tradition holds.

It’s important to note that, while Trump was able to win the Presidency, he did so without winning the popular vote. This has caused many to question the Electoral College system of election in America, as Trump reportedly received over 2.2 million votes less than Clinton overall.

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FEATURES

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express ern them; these are the things I wish to address.

Think of the situations you have heard about or have even seen happen to people, strangers or friends, on a night out in a bar or club. The calculating, head-to-toe looks, the inappropriate whispered comments or sometimes not-so-subtle (and bordering on harassment) shouts, the evasive touches, the groping out of nowhere as people walk by… It is not ok to just push your hands up a girl’s skirt, even if you are kissing already.

It is not ok to assume that just because someone is kissing you means that they want to go any further.

“Agh, go on.” … “You should be flattered, it’s a compliment.” There are ways to flatter a girl, to flirt with a girl, to treat a girl, without making her feel as though she is only good for one thing; being made feel like a piece of meat, a ‘piece of ass’ for the night, is in no way flattering or a compliment. Likewise, allowing oneself to be treated as such shows a lack of respect and a deep-set insecurity that many are oblivious to. This conception instils a distorted twisted sense of worth; a girl can feel worthless and like she isn’t pretty/ beautiful/sexy enough if she isn’t approached by guys in such a way, while guys can feel pathetic and like they aren’t confident/ manly/brave enough if they don’t approach girls in such a way.

Asking for it – the Rape Culture that is Affecting Us All Ciara Dinneen - Deputy Features Editor Disclaimer: Before I begin this discussion, I would like to point out that rape culture affects everyone, regardless of gender. Although most examples deal with the sexual assault carried out by men on women, it is essential to note that sexual assault is gender neutral; it can, and does, happen to anyone, regardless of gender. I do not wish to criticise the typical behaviours and attitudes of men or women in general, I simply wish to bring certain things to your attention - the seemingly little things that occur around us every day where we fail to consider the negative impact because they have become habitual and normalised; the smaller and seemingly unimportant things we take for “just the way things are nowadays” that contribute to a more disturbing reality: the emergence of a rape culture.

Do not dare tell us that we are asking for it by wearing short skirts. Do not dare tell us that we are asking for it by drinking too much and getting drunk. Do not dare tell us that we are asking for it by accusing us of dancing in that way, a way you wrongly and boldly perceive as a ‘clearly wanting it’ kind of way. Do not dare tell us that we are asking for it by being flirtatious, or not even that, by just talking and being friendly and smiling and making eye contact; friendliness, eye contact and/ or a smile is not an invitation to touch a girl in whatever invasive way you want. Do not dare hold up the outfit a girl was wearing at the time of the assault as evidence in court and say that it proves how she was “asking for it” and think “sure, would you blame him.” Yes, this has been done, and it is nothing short of disgusting. Bullshit excus-

es. Think of your best friend, your sister, your future daughter, and ask yourself if you would brush it off with a flippant and ignorant “she was asking for it.” If so, well quite frankly, you’re an asshole, and I’m afraid there’s no quick fix for that.

Some of the societal attitudes towards gender, sexuality and the way in which we interact have become corrupt and damaging in how they are so heedlessly accepted, and have contributed to a

big problem in our world today. It is a problem we face most full forcedly as students in college; a modern element of society come to be termed as rape culture. Rape culture is defined as ‘a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality’. The term was coined by feminists in the United States in the 1970s, and in its more extreme form highlights the way in which society blamed victims of sexual assault and normalized male sexual violence. Before diving into a deeper discussion on rape, it is important to consider the basics of the area, to zoom out and examine the big picture, and all the little things that contribute to it: our attitudes towards gender and sexuality, how we behave when it comes to sexual relationships, how we handle these relationships and the customs that seem to gov-

We must learn to talk, to be open about what we want and what we are comfortable with.

As well as this we must learn to listen, to notice, to respect. For the times we don’t speak, for the times we don’t vocalise what it is we want or are comfortable with, we must learn to look out for, notice and respect those silent signals; pulling away, sudden quietness, avoiding eye contact, any hesitation, be aware of these things and consider their possible meaning.

Please remember, as I said in the disclaimer, I am not criticising the behaviour of guys here; I am criticising the behaviour itself, whether it be carried out by a guy or girl,

that we all assume isn’t a big deal, is just what happens and is just how things are. Not all guys give into this pervasive, normalised attitude; not all guys behave accordingly with these typical ‘lad’ behaviours. A lot of discussions on sexual assault deal with the effects on female victims and are coming from a female view point, but another aspect of rape culture exists in which the guys’ perception is effected unfairly also. It must be so hard, as a truly good-natured guy, to read about all of the facts and statistics about sexual assault and rape cases.

Men - a lot of men, truly goodhearted men - don’t want to treat woman in some of the ways that are taken nowadays to be “what you do” or “flirtatious banter (flanter, right?).” Many guys feel under pressure from friends to act a certain way, to treat girls with a particular attitude. A guy shies away from treating the girl he likes with the honesty, respect and courtesy she deserves, for fear that he’ll get stick about it from the lads, for fear he’ll be seen as weak, or “whipped,” as if liking someone and being honest about it is a bad and limiting thing. Basically, sometimes guys are afraid to act like gentlemen because their friends will give them shit for it. This is an entirely unfair, misleading, restricting and pressurising misconception. Honesty about one’s feelings is not a sign of weakness; it is in fact a demonstration of incredible strength.

Louise O’Neill, author of Asking For It, interestingly points out in a documentary recently broadcast on RTE that we

“it must be so hard, as a truly good-natured guy, to read about all of the facts and statistics about sexual assault and rape cases” seem to have difficulty discussing sex, let alone sexual violence, even though we’re supposedly living in a sexually liberated society. In the documentary Dr. Siobhan O’Higgins, of the School of Psychology in NUIG, explains why this may be so, as she outlines how in Ireland we went from having “no sex unless you wanted to make babies” (the Catholic church’s strong influence advocat-

FEATURES

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express ed that sex was purely for reproduction purposes) to “having any kind of sex you wanted” in the space of 6 years, and this rapid turnaround in how we viewed and treated the concept of sex has left many young girls and woman (guys and men too) “feeling like they should be into all of this stuff; we missed out on sensuality, eroticism and failed to properly explore the concept of sex and sexuality within the Irish psyche.” Dr.O’Higgins explains how many girls (and guys) feel as though they can’t ask for what they want, like they can’t talk about what they like and what they don’t like when it comes to sex, “because if you do you’re a slut.”

In an article for The Irish Times, entitled “Louise O’Neill on writing Asking For It: Unblurring the lines about rape,” Louise talks about the Steubenville rape case, which broke in the US in December 2012, and attracted worldwide media attention as shocking photos and videos of the horrifying incident were shared online.

“A party full of drunken, horny teenagers. A young girl who had too much to drink, her friends laughing while her body was violated. Photos and videos taken, shared online, forever seared into the collective consciousness of the public.” In the same article, Louise talks about a time she asked a group of men in their early twenties “why is it always the woman who is held to a higher moral standard, why is it always the woman who is expected to “behave?”

She says, “they all scoffed at me, saying that the girl was ‘a dirty slut and a whore’. ‘What if it had been your sister?’

I asked them. Would you want to see her just thrown to the wolves for public entertainment? ‘If she was my sister’, one of them told me, ‘I would be so disgusted, I would never speak to her again’.”

Notice here the issue of the double standard; it appears what is expected of woman is starkly different to what is expected of men. Likewise, what may be acceptable behaviour for a guy may be utterly unacceptable for a girl. Louise outlines the attitude that in basic terms boils down to “boys will be boys but … girls are expected to safeguard their virginity, to behave themselves in a ladylike fashion.” It’s a catch-22 for the girls; innocent, prude, stuck-up versus slut, whore, demanding and clingy. The girl who knows what she wants, knows what she deserves, is demanding. The girl who speaks out about what she wants is clingy. The girl who refuses a guy is stuck-up and a prude; the girl who ‘goes for it’ is a slut.

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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY Lorna Laurent

So many girls, too many girls, especially college students, can tell of at least one incident that occurred on a night out in which they were inappropriately touched in a way that made them feel uncomfortable, and violated by a guy. Too many girls can tell of times they got into arguments with guys who were trying to take things further with them when they themselves didn’t want to, and had to physically put a stop to what the guy was trying to do, sometimes having to push him away, almost having to fight him off. A friend of mine recently said to me, after getting with a guy at the house party where both she and the guy were drinking, “I’ve got to give him credit for not taking advantage of me though.” No. You do not give a guy credit for not taking advantage of you. The fact that some girls feel like this, feel as though they owe a guy for not taking advantage of them when they could have, is where the problem lies.

This is how these things that happen all too often contribute to a rape culture; it leads to girls feeling like what happened to them was no violation of their bodily rights when in actual fact it was; it leads to girls feeling like they can’t say anything about it because it “wasn’t actually rape” or “I didn’t say no though.”

This brings up the issue of consent. Consent is an important concept in a discussion about rape culture.

There are many arguments and debates over what actually con-

stitutes consent; what it is exactly and where is the line? I feel as though many of the arguments can be boiled down to one or the other by rational, common sense reasoning; a person being drunk is not consent, not explicitly saying “no” aloud is not consent, dressing or dancing in a particular way is not consent. Many campaigns about consent aim their messages at young guys and men; I think it is important, especially considering that double standards are an issue, that consent isn’t just about teaching guys when “no” means “no” and being drunk is not consent, that a short skirt is not consent and so on… consent works both ways. We must all be aware of consent vs non-consent in general, regardless of gender.

Let us not turn this discussion into a girlon-guy, female-on-male argument or criticism; this is an opportunity to notice and become aware of pervasive societal attitudes, behaviours and norms that, if we open our eyes and minds to, we see happening every day; they are evident in the underlying fabrics of society and are contributing to a much greater problem than the one they seem to be when considered individually. Let’s not hide behind ‘the way things are’ or brush things that make us uncomfortable off with ‘it’s not a big deal’ or ‘it’s nothing, I’ll leave it’; talk about it.

15th November: In 1492, Christopher Columbus became the first person to record the existence of the tobacco plant. Landing in the Bahamas, Columbus and his crew were gifted with what he records in his diary as ‘certain dried leaves’.

Unaware that all he was missing was skins, a filter and a lighter, Columbus threw them overboard, undoubtedly thinking the indigenous Arawaks a little simple.

16th November: On his deathbed in September 1380, King Charles VI declared there were to be no more taxes…forever. Now, because it seemed a good idea to listen to a dead monarch nicknamed ‘the Mad King’ (he thought he was made of glass), the abolition of the taille came into place on the 16th.

Predictably enough, it was re-imposed in January 1382 at an even higher rate, after revolts had broken out in twenty-seven cities.

17th November: 1953 saw the evacuation of the last residents of the Blasket Islands off the coast of Kerry, ordered by Eamon deValera, due to both increasingly extreme weather conditions and the drop in population from 175 inhabitants to 22. In the short term the four families lost their furniture and homes, however, in the long run it was their native Irish, untouched by the Anglophone world, that was lost to society.

18th November: 1928 saw Mickey Mouse’s claim to fame, as Walt Disney publicly released Steamboat Willie on this date. Not only was this a melodic masterpiece, but it was also the first cartoon which successfully synchronized sound with image. We have Steamboat Willie to thank for propelling Walt Disney into the limelight, and giving us the childhood we had. ...continues on next page

Est.

8 1997

FEATURES

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express She will compete against 16 other countries, who are: Albania, Armenia, Australia, Belarus, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Georgia, Israel, Italy, FYR Macedonia, Malta, Netherlands, Poland, Russia, Serbia and Ukraine.

Cyprus is returning to the contest after a one-year break, while Israel is returning after a three-year break. Poland is returning to the contest after a record eleven-year break from the Contest.

Voting at the Junior Eurovision is similar to the Eurovision, in that each country awards points 1-8, 10 and 12 to their top 10 songs. This year will be the first year that there will be no Tele-voting at the Contest, the scores instead being decided by combing the scores of an Adult Jury and a Kids Jury for each country, but at the beginning of the contest each Country will be given 12 points so that no entry will suffer from the dreaded ‘Nul Point’.

Junior Eurovision to Embrace Europe

Stephen Spillane - Staff Writer

On November 20th the 14th Junior Eurovision Song Contest will take place in Valetta, Malta. 17 Countries will be vying for the Junior Eurovision Title, won last year by Malta’s Destiny Chukunyere with the song “Not My Soul.” The winner of the Junior Eurovision Song Contest does not normally host the next edition, with Malta’s PBS being selected to host the Junior Eurovision by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) who run the competition alongside the Eurovision Song Contest, and other Europe-wide competitions.

The Contest has being running since 2003, when it was first held in Copenhagen, Denmark, with 16 countries competing for the title. The first winner was Croatia’s Dino Jelušić, with his entry ‘Ti si moja prva ljubav’. It was based on a Show first developed by Danmark Radio as a national contest in 2000, which grew to a contest featuring Denmark, Sweden and Norway in 2002 called MGP Nordic.

Then the EBU decided to develop it is a pan-European contest from 2003.

All contestants at the contest must be between the age of 10 and 15 on the day of the contest, and like in the main contest the song must be an original composition, lasting between two minutes 45 seconds and three minutes. Originally the contest was limited to members of the EBU, but Australia joined the contest in 2015, and will enter again this year as an associate member of the EBU. An important difference between the Eurovision and the Junior Eurovision is

that the winner of the contest is not automatically the host of the next contest.

This is decided by a competitive tender issued by the EBU and selected by the Reference Group who are in charge of the contest rules.

The contest has been on shaky ground in recent years, with the number of entries declining to an all-time low of 12 entries, but has recovered to 17 in the last two years. The highest number of entries was in 2004 when 18 countries competed.

Only two countries have competed at every contest, Belarus and the Netherlands, while many of the original countries to participate no longer take part, including the original three countries Denmark (last appeared in 2005), Norway (last appeared in 2005) and Sweden (last appeared in 2014).

Ireland made its first appearance on the Junior Eurovision Stage last year, when the 2015 edition was held in Sofia, Bul-

garia. TG4 have taken on the role as broadcaster for the Junior Eurovision in Ireland, and have decided to send songs ‘as Gaeilge’ to the competition. Using a selection programme called ‘Junior Eurovision Éire’, Aimee Banks was selected to enter with the song ‘Réalta na Mara’. She finished the contest in a respectable 12th place with 36 points.

This year Ireland will hope to do better, and TG4 enrolled the help of past Irish Eurovision hopefuls to help select this year’s entry on Junior Eurovision Éire.

The selection panel includes Linda Martin (2nd in 1984 with ‘Terminal 3’ & 1st in 1992 with ‘Why Me?’), Niamh Kavanagh (1st in 1993 with ‘In Your Eyes’ & 23rd in 2010 with ‘It’s for you’), Sandie Jones (15th in 1972 with ‘Ceol an Ghrá’), Jedward (8th in 2011 with ‘Lipstick’ & 19th in 2012 with ‘Waterline’) and Dustin (Failed to qualify 2008 with ‘Irlande Douze Pointe’). The winner was selected in the final on November 6th, and Zena Donnelly will compete with her song ‘Bríce ar Bhríce’.

This year sees the first expert Jury at the contest, which will award points in the usual Eurovision fashion. This jury is made up of: Christer Björkman of Sweden (Eurovision 1992 and supervisor of Melodifestivalen), Mads Grimstad of Denmark (Universal Music Group, Denmark) and Ireland’s Jedward (Eurovision 2011 & 2012). They could be crucial in deciding the winners.

Ireland is not the only country submitting its entry entirely in its national language; Georgia, Poland and Serbia have all entered songs in their national language, while only Malta and Australia have entered songs completely in English. All the rest are a mix of their national language and English.

You can cheer on Zena and Irish team on at The Junior Eurovision Song Contest live from Malta on TG4, November 20th at 8pm.

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ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY 19th November: In 1916, Samuel Goldfish and Edgar Selman used an amalgamation of their names to create Goldwyn Studios (you know the one I’m talking about: the one with the roaring lion, whose actual name is Leo).

Goldfish later legally changed his name to Goldwyn, though he was booted out of the company in 1922 when it was bought by Marcus Loew.

In Defence Of Instagram Eoin O’Byrne - Features Writer

It’s a common trope these days, one we all hear: “Millennials are so vain/self-obsessed/self-absorbed.” I think one of the main points that critics of our current generation of young people hang their criticism on is the selfie, and their usage on social media. We are generation selfie; but what I must ask is this: are we really that different to previous generations? How long does it take to take a selfie? A minute, less? Now compare that to its historical counterpart, the self-portrait; how long does it take to paint a picture of yourself?

Hours? Days? Are you really going to tell me that the latter is less self-obsessed than the former? What about having a portrait of yourself commissioned to hang up on the wall? You’re asking a different person to come along and sit there for hours painting you. Now I don’t know about you, but I’d say that it takes a whole lot more vanity to have a painting done than to take a selfie. Is anyone going to spend as long taking selfies over the course of their life time as a single portrait would take? I don’t think so.

The difference between the two is ubiquity and novelty. A portrait was a rather rare and expensive thing but everyone (at least relatively) and their mum can take a selfie.

Secondly, the portrait is old, as opposed to the new phenomenon that is the selfie and it is always easy to criticise ‘the new thing’.

Now how many people call out things like Facebook or Instagram for facilitating such vapid and offensive behaviour? I think, however, that a lot of this criticism can be waived if one changes their perspective just a little. Most of us have photo albums lying around at home; I know that my parents have literally dozens of the bastards, entire drawers cluttered with packets of photos and albums, there must be hundreds of photos stuffed into a square foot of the house. How different is this situation to a phone full of photographic clutter or lively Facebook feed?

The point I’m trying to make is that it is surely a simple thing to shift our notions about social media to be more along the lines of those we have about photo albums.

As this post is titled ‘in defence of Instagram’ allow me to start with that: Instagram is like the family photo album. It’s the cream of the crop, packed with memories and events you want to immortalise.

It is an easy thing to scroll back through to conjure up memories of those days. I for one have found myself looking back over my Instagram feed once or twice in the last few months and it is a thoroughly enjoyable experience; and I’ve only had an Instagram for a year or two at this stage.

Facebook photos and the random detritus of your phone on the other hand are all those loose photos that aren’t quite good enough for the albums that you still want to save. You know the ones; y o u probably have a slew of packets from the pharmacist lying around the house full of passport photos from yesteryear.

Now, another criticism of social media is that is creates a false view of your life and that is a form of social posturing. On the account of the later, literally every-

thing is a form of social posturing, so why is one that is assisted by social media such a bad thing? In the case of the former, let me draw another parallel to family photos.

Now if you looked through a family album would you think that the life of the people in the photos was perfect? Probably not, so why do we act like that’s the case for social media. Critics blame the platform for the perceptions of the users. What really needs to change is how people view social media, and to keep in mind that what they are seeing is a highlight reel, and a highly constructed one at that. If people can remember that, which I’ll admit can be difficult at times, then that sort of criticism at the falsity of social media can be cast aside. I mean people can put up false front of their lives in person, so why is it such a bad thing to do so online?

Social media isn’t the herald of social decay as it is sometimes lauded. It’s just a manifestation of things we’ve been doing for centuries through a new medium that technology has unlocked for us.

20th November: In Westminster Abbey in 1947, the now-Queen Elizabeth married Lieutenant Phillip Mountbatten (who is actually her second cousin, FYI) after a year of secret engagement. Interestingly, Philip’s closest family members – namely his three surviving sisters – were not permitted to attend the wedding, which took place only two years after the end of WWII, because of their German background.

Also absent were Elizabeth’s uncle, the Duke of Windsor (shunned following his abdication of the throne for American divorcé Wallis Simpson) and his sister Mary, out of respect for her brother.

21st November: Hetty Green, the ‘Witch of Wall Street’ and history’s most notoriously stingy woman, was born on this date in 1834 in Massachusetts. Inheritance left her the richest woman during the Gilded Age, yet she was renowned for never turning on the heating, owning only one dress, eating nothing but oatmeal etc. She forced her husband to renounce all rights to her money upon their marriage, and even refused to pay a doctor to fix her son’s broken leg, leading to its eventual amputation. Her miserliness (unsurprisingly) led to her own death when she was hospitalised with an untreated hernia.

Est.

10 1997

FEATURES

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express out the colour. After all, hair dye is meant to resist regular showers for quite a while.

This was also the day that I began to research how to get rid of it online. I found a few solutions, ran to the shop, and began the real onslaught the next day.

Magenta Mania: How to Lose a Hair Colour in 8 Days* Laura O’Connor - Staff Writer

If you are somewhat aware of who I am, you’ll probably know that I’m not exactly one for astute fashion choices. Most of the time I’m dressed like I eat pizza and sing about friendship & hating my hometown for a living. My appearance isn’t something I’ve ever set much stock in – at least, clothing-wise. My hair, however, is a much different story.

See, my hair has been my pride and joy for many years. Every change I make to it is a calculated risk. These small, minor risks began when I ombréd my hair when I was 17, keeping it for two years.

After this, deeming my hair to be too unhealthy, I chopped my hair up to shoulder level length in my first year at UCC – at the time, it was the shortest I had cut it in 5 years. At the end of 2nd Year, I dip dyed it again. A month ago, this dip dye got extended to cover my fringe and most of the front of my hair. I did these things because I knew that they would suit me: my hair was light enough before I made it blonde, short hair was a look I

rocked for several years, and so on and so forth.

However, the most stupid decision I ever made was dyeing my hair pink.

I don’t know what came over me. I mean, I guess it was an impulse decision. After all, this Halloween was my first Halloween in several years that I wasn’t working; I wasn’t not going to put full effort into my costume. And buying what I thought was a one-wash magenta hair dye from Moonshine in town was much cheaper than investing in a pink wig. And come on, Jessie from Team Rocket is an awesome idea for an outfit, and we all know it… but the next day it was clear it was going to be a decision I would regret – I adored my blonde ombréd hair and the fact that I couldn’t get the pink out after one wash made me quite upset. That, and considering that I have some serious commitments coming up, I needed the pink out - and fast. So I’m going to tell you how I did it. *I’ll warn you: this saga of the Magenta Removal is still ongoing. At the time of writing, my hair is still a strange, slightly coral, colour – and that’s after a week of me destroying my hair with various products every day. The things I’ve done have not been a perfect method, and my hair is in dire need of several deep conditionings, but I did it.

Consider this your warning.

Day 0: Team Rocket Couple Costume

Day 1: A regular shower I mean, the shower water was pink, as I had only put in the dye the day before, but it didn’t do much to fade

Day 2

Day 2: Baking Soda and Anti-Dandruff Shampoo You know how anti-dandruff shampoo makes your hair feel all squeaky after use? Apparently it’s a heavier formula, which helps to get temporary dye out your hair. According to the internet, adding baking soda, a natural acid, to the shampoo also helps. This got a decent bit of dye out, and instead of a deep magenta my hair was now a much lighter pink, and deemed acceptable for the Yule Ball.

However, I wasn’t best pleased with it; it was time for another onslaught.

Day 3: Washing-Up Liquid I got this tip from a girl I was delivering a training session to. For this attack I did exactly what it says on the tin: I wet my hair, added lots of Fairy Liquid to it, made myself a hat out of cling-film and left it in for an hour before washing it out. The amount of pink that left my hair after this was immensely satisfying: you could see the brown of my hair again, and even some of the faint bits of blonde.

However, my hair needed a lot of conditioner after this abuse, so I wouldn’t recommend leaving it in for anything more than an hour.

Day 4: Baking Soda and Anti-Dandruff Shampoo… again Same method as before. Didn’t get much out, but got some out all the same. My hair was now a very pale baby pink after 4 days, which is exceptional considering that most temporary dyes last something stupid like 28 washes. However, I still wasn’t satisfied, and I still didn’t like it, despite the numerous compliments.

Time for a more intense method.

Day 6: Washing Detergent and Anti-Dandruff Shampoo.

I gave my hair a day off to aid its recovery -and no, you read that correctly; I actually used washing powder. This stuff worked best by-far. You could see where I had missed bits while washing it. It was incredible, and faded it out to the coral colour I’m rocking today. A quick search online told me that this stuff could fade permanent black to blonde after a couple of washes if you wanted it to. I think I struck gold with it – a few more washes and the pink will be nothing more than a horrible memory.

Day 8

Days 7 and 8: Ariel Detergent and Anti-Dandruff I mean, the pink is still in my locks, but it’s gone this very strange orange-y colour, which I guess means that I’m nearly there with getting it out. I’m optimistic that I can get the rest out if I continue the same way from here on. Just to reiterate: Warning! You will need to slather your hair in Aussie’s 3 Minute Miracle after every wash. At least you’ll smell nice, I guess?

So that’s it; that’s my epic saga. Let this be a lesson to us all: go and invest in a wig if you only want a one-night colour, or prepare to pay the price for weeks...

Day 4

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ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

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The Groove is in our Hearts Lucas Brun - Features Writer

Music is a major part of our lives, and the numbers don’t lie. Spotify claims 40 million paying users and of the 40 most viewed videos on YouTube, only two are not music related. From flutes made of mammoth ivory 40,000 years ago, to recording operas on 78 rpm discs, to the release of the iPod in 2001, mankind has always had a close relationship with music.

College is a place where music lovers can thrive. You can attend gigs, join musical societies and meet people with varied tastes & musical upbringings.

The importance and popularity of music amongst college students is a given; what is surprising, however, is the means through which they consume it. While streaming services such as Spotify still remain at the top of the list, vinyl record sales have surged in recent years. Last year they were up by 32%, and amounted to $416 million. Not bad for an outdated medium.

Why is it so? Records are old, fragile objects. They require special equipment to be listened to, and their sound is not as ‘clean’ as their digital counterparts. So why do students love them? Simply put: the experience. Yes, you could just tap on a track on your phone and get a perfectly clinical sound, but that’s not what it’s all about.

For music purists, listening to music is more than listening to a track. It’s a process. Imagine taking the time to flick through a record collection, carefully selecting the perfect album. Then, taking it out of the large cardboard sleeve, adorned by full-sized artwork, and placing it on the turn-table. The result of this unique ritual being authentic music, with its characteristic crackles, pops and imperfections; an experience that brings you closer to the music than Spotify ever could.

Shops stocking vinyl records, both new and second-hand, are gradually becoming more commonplace in the city. They are even making their way onto campus, with a stall set up outside the Boole library last week hosting a pop-up record sale. Navigating through the crowd that had congregated around the stand proved difficult, but it was a good sign. As a music lover it filled me with joy to see so many people gathered to share physical pieces of music.

While there was a number of people pur-

WHERE TO BUY VINYL IN CORK Rob O’Sullivan - Editor-In-Chief

chasing LPs (Long Playing albums) that day, there is probably a vast majority of students that have not yet caught the record bug. If you are one of those people, why not experiment and start today?

You may ask yourself: Are there any things I need to know before starting my own collection? There are, and here are some tips and suggestions to get you started.

1. Buying Records: To build up your collection, the best way to start is to see what your family may have accumulated throughout the years. A great way to start at a relatively low cost. With the recent demand for records, prices have sky-rocketed. New (and not so new) records are being sold on average for €20/30. Therefore, check out second-hand stores and eBay. You must however always, ALWAYS, check the disc before you buy it. Nothing hurts more than spending a fortune on a scratched record.

The most important thing to do when buying records is to buy what you want.

Whatever style you dig, go for it; this collection is for you, after all.

2. Storage and care: Always store your records upright, like you would books on a shelf. It’s also best to keep them away from sources of heat and to handle them with the greatest care. Try not to touch the groove (the black part). It might be awkward and daunting at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it.

3. Playing records: Try to invest in a good turntable. Ask your local electronics/record store about which setup would best suit your needs, as it will depend on your listening style (DJ, casual listener, Totally-Replacing-Spotify-er). Before putting a record on, make sure to remove the dust on it with a dry, soft cloth. Don’t press on the record while doing so. If you play a dusty record, the needle may push the dust into the groove and, after a while, the sound quality will be affected.

Some newbie collector’s essentials: Even though I suggested you follow your heart and buy what you want, I do have a few recommendations to make. These albums would make a solid foundation for any new collections.

Crime of the Century – Supertramp (1974) While I hesitated when picking some albums on this list (“which Bowie to choose?”), the number one album was an obvious choice. A flawless masterpiece that gets better each time you listen to it.

A must-have for any budding record collectors. I am genuinely too mind blown to even tell you why you should listen to it. Just do it.

Hunky Dory – David Bowie (1971) One of Bowie’s earlier works. With familiar hits such as Changes and Life On Mars? placed in a coherent and poignant track list, it is truly one of Bowie’s greatest albums. A gathering of love, alienation and homage to Bowie’s heroes (Bob Dylan, Andy Warhol, Nietzsche).

To be listened straight through when you feel left out and a little bit down.

The Dark Side of the Moon – Pink Floyd (1973) A classic and a peculiar listening experience. A legal high with straightforward tracks (such as Brain Damage) interwoven with trippy experimental tunes (On The Run, The Great Gig in the Sky). Can a record collection really be a record collection without a copy of Dark Side?

L’Histoire de Melody Nelson – Serge Gainsbourg (1971) In a 70’s rock scene dominated by Britain, France managed to produce a record that has influenced the genre throughout the world ever since its release. An edgy romance between a middle-aged man and an underage girl, a skilful and daring orchestration and 28 minutes of sheer talent. Can (and must) be enjoyed regardless of your level of French.

Records & Relics, Western Road Only a stone’s throw away from UCC, Records & Relics should be your first stop in Cork on your record-buying trip. With an ever-changing selection, and with reasonable prices, R&R is a great place for beginners to start their collection and for vinyl veterans to find that missing record. Make sure to give them a like on Facebook, as they keep it updated with photos of new stock.

Repall Skateshop, Shears Street Located around the corner from the unmissable Courthouse, Repall may look like a skateshop (because it is) but it hides a fairly decent record section. You won’t find everything here, but it does house the odd gem, primarily in its singles section. Stock here is a little bit more stagnant than R&R, but prices are generally better here.

Plugd, Tobin St. Sitting above the Triskel Art Gallery, Plugd is probably where the average Corkonian would bring you to buy a record. Plugd has a good selection of original pressings, but also repressings of classic albums and new indie records. With an arthouse cinema and café nearby, you’ll have plenty to do before and after your visit to Plugd.

Also available: Amazon.com is great for getting re-pressings of classic albums. Also, generally avoid Uneeda on Oliver Plunkett Street if you can – bad, stagnant selection with exorbitant prices.

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INTERVIEW

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express a Doctor of Letters by the University of Paris, and the ‘Ordre national de la Légion d’honneur’ by the French government, the highest merit a civilian can attain in France.

“she became the first female Professor of a University in both Ireland and Great Britain” Mary Robinson, the first female President of Ireland, was involved in a 2010 project to commemorate Professor Ryan, spoke highly of the academic:

In Profile: Professor Mary Ryan Rob O’Sullivan – Editor-in-Chief

As you walk through UCC one could say that you only need look at the signs on buildings to learn about its history. One name dominates the place, of course, and that name is Boole. Never mind last year, the so-called ‘year of Boole’ when his name adorned every bollard and pole, there are still plenty of buildings that carry his name; there’s the Boole Basement and the Boole Library, and in the shadow of the latter lies a fresh bust dedicated to the first Professor of Mathematics in UCC. As you walk through more of UCC, you walk past the ORB, named for former UCC President Alfred O’Rahilly, and maybe you’ll pass the shell of the Windle Building, named for Sir Bertram Windle, President of the College as it transitioned from being Queen’s College Cork to UCC. Truly, UCC has a tradition of naming its buildings after its famous sons, and in the case of Dr James Watson, people who have relatively little to do with the College. There is one name, however, you really wouldn’t know from looking at the signs & building names, and that name is Mary Ryan.

Born in Cork in 1873 to Edward and Matilda Ryan, Mary was the first student of St.Angela’s College, which was initially founded as an all-girls Second-

ary school; St.Angela’s also operated as what was known as a ‘University top’. At the time, while women were allowed to attend Universities in Ireland, they were not allowed to attend lectures, so schools like St.Angela’s were required for women who wanted to get a University degree outside of Dublin & Belfast. Even though these schools existed, religious & societal pressures of the time meant it was still hard for women to get their education. Though Mary received her Bachelor of Arts degree from in 1895, she had not set foot inside of a Queen’s College Cork lecture hall, only attending the university to complete examinations.

‘University tops’ like St.Angela’s ceased to provide the function as a third-level school with the passing of the Irish Universities Act 1908.

In 1909, Ms. Ryan, fluent in French & German, was named the Professor of Romance Languages of the now-University College Cork, and in doing so she became the first female Professor of a University in both Ireland and Great Britain.

She served as a Professor of the institution for around 30 years, often sending students to the Sorbonne to complete their Postgraduate education; for this and her published writings she was awarded

“I actually didn’t know, at that time, about Mary Ryan. I don’t think enough of us – especially women, in Ireland – know enough about her… I was interested to read that, although women weren’t prohibited from going to University, that the Church and the community, and Universities themselves, were not keen that women students would turn up; and that Mary Ryan actually went to St.Angela’s College - the Ursuline Nuns, who wanted to support bright women students, and provided them with this access to University lectures that enabled her to take her degree, and 15 years later she was appointed Professor of Romance Languages, and my understanding is that she taught in a wonderful way for more than thirty years, and was beloved of her students and her colleagues. That in itself is a remarkable achievement.”

“I don’t think enough of us – especially women, in Ireland – know enough about her” Seán Ó Faoláin, a famous Irish short-story writer, and former student of Professor Ryan, described her in a 1949 to fellow UCC alum & academic Aloys Fleischmann: “Mary Ryan- a monster as a professor: a sweet old lady no doubt. Do you know what she used to do? She used to TEACH us! Sacred Heart-teaching in a University!!!! You know grammar and syntax and this and that and... Oh! And Ah! and groans. And everybody said she was marvellous because she did teach

the little ducks, spoonfed them, breastfed them, predigested their pap for them.”

While Ó Faoláin would later somewhat recant his slating of his University days, this 1949 letter shows the context in which Professor Ryan operated.

Professor Ryan taught many students in her years in University College Cork, retiring in 1938, aged 65. She passed away in 1961, aged 88. When she died, according to the former Uachtarán na hÉireann, her obituaries mainly contained stories about her brothers, and their accomplishments. This claim was supported by a press release from the college in 2010, which stated; “Obituaries published at the time of her death in 1961 barely touch her remarkable accomplishments, but make extensive references to the success of her brothers all of whom achieved distinction in their professional careers.” In a way, her death was perfectly representative of her life: no matter what she did, no matter what she could accomplish, no matter what records she broke, Professor Ryan was always put in the context of and overshadowed by her male colleagues.

“In a way, her death was perfectly representative of her life” A lot of people reading this may have only heard of Professor Ryan from a wall in the ORB that details some of her history, but most may not know of her at all. I won’t deny that the aforementioned academics, Boole, O’Rahilly & Windle, deserve the honour of having a building named after them, but it seems ridiculous to this writer that anything in UCC be named after someone who had relatively little to do with the University, like Watson, especially considering his questionable personal beliefs.

While Professor Ryan’s life was one of triumph – triumph over the time & society in which she lived – yet the time after her death has rather been one of sadness, as this trailblazer, this hero for women, has been effectively forgotten by her successors.

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Volume 2

Editorial

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isn’t at all to say that we shouldn’t have convictions: rather, it’s a reminder that the world isn’t a clear-cut fight between good and evil. Rather, it’s meant to emphasise that people don’t behave the way they do for no reason. People have reasons. Are these reasons necessarily good? Not always - but they’re nonetheless explanatory.

Y’know what I just don’t understand? Avocados.

I don’t get the fascination. I think they have a weird texture, and I think they taste like soil. Moreover, they go off too damn quickly, and they look like large, mummified pears. Yet, my house is full of them, because my housemates adore the things.

They put them on bread, they put them in salads; for all I know, they could be using them as Christmas decorations. Whatever it is they’re doing with them, they’re happy, and they’re not putting in or out on anyone.

Really, the presence of this weird fruit is just something I notice every now and then, and then I go back to living my avocado-free life without facing any consequences as a direct result of doing so.

In this situation, the different opinions we hold are very understandable. We have particular tastes that we developed over time and now it’s difficult - not impossible, but certainly difficult - to change. I disagree with a lot of people on a lot of different topics, not all of them fruit-related. It’s impossible for everyone to see eye-to-eye all the time, never mind most of the time.

No matter how impartial we try to be, our individual life experiences are going to affect the way we see the world, which isn’t a positive or a negative thing in and of itself - it just is what it is.

Our own experience becomes a negative thing when we take it for granted. We’re all, so to speak, the main character of our own story, and even those of us with the best intentions are inclined to see those with a different narrative as antagonists. That

The suffering we inflict on other people is usually due to a lack of empathy, which can be intentional or unintentional. When we come face-to-face with an antagonist, our first reaction, after all, isn’t to understand them, it’s to defeat them; it’s to defend ourselves and rescue our own narrative. Now, sometimes that narrative is worth rescuing, and sometimes it’s not, but the only way you can know for sure is by considering the views of its main detractors, and seeing whether they have merit. You can’t consider other people’s views if you can’t empathise with them.

Now, let me make this clear: empathy is not the same thing as agreement. You can empathise with someone’s reasoning and still denounce the conclusion they come to, especially if that conclusion has the potential to harm others, but if we don’t at least try to understand where we’re all coming from, what you’ll end up with is a vicious circle of power struggles between warring groups of ideologues who consistently ignore the needs of the people they don’t agree with. Just look at all the trouble the world has gotten itself into recently!

This empathy deficit needs to be resolved if we’re all going to start getting along with each other; you can’t fix a broken pipe by putting a bandage on the tap. We need to stop looking at the way things are, and start asking why they are that way. We can’t keep asking why the divide is widening, and then block our ears when someone gives us an answer. Ask questions. Be open.

Be kind.

Lauren ll Mulvihi

Correction: In issue 4 of Byline, a poem, entitled The Old Candle was attributed to an anonymous author. This was done in error, the author of the piece was Rosemary Kelly. We’d like to sincerely apologise for this error.

HOROSCOPES Aries (Mar. 21st - Apr. 19th) - You get a fresh new haircut this week that really matches your star sign. Is that a good thing? Consider the collective term for people of your sign and get back to me on that Lucky winter accessory: A hat to hide your fresh new 'do Taurus (Apr. 20th - May 20th) It's apt that your star sign is a bull, because that's what all your hastily typed last-minute assignments are going to consist of.

Lucky computer programme: Spellcheck; don't embarrass yourself Gemini (May 21st - June 20th) - The days may be getting freezing and dark, but they have nothing on your cold, dead heart. Merry Bitchmas.

Lucky food: 80% cocoa chocolate to match your bitter personality Cancer (June 21st - July 22nd) How could you hurt Michael Bublé like that?? How dare you??

Lucky thing: A shlap across the jaw Leo (July 23rd - Aug. 22nd) - Dude, stop getting involved in things, you need to chill (unless you're getting involved in trying to set up a NapSoc, that sounds pretty sweet) Lucky furniture item of the week: A bed Virgo (Aug. 23rd - Sept. 22nd) - Virgo? More like Virg-ho, or at least that's what you want people to think. The stars still know the truth though… they always do Lucky detective accessory of the week: A magnifying glass to see how long those condoms have left before they expire

with Mystic Greg

Libra (Sept. 23rd - Oct. 22nd) Okay buttface, we get it: you graduated. Now throw me that crowbar so I can start prying your head out of your rectum Lucky volume of lube: industrial-size barrel Scorpio (Oct. 23rd - Nov. 21st) Happy heckin birthday my dude, or extraction day if you were born via c-section Lucky sexual act of the week: A cheeky birthday beej Sagittarius (Nov. 22nd - Dec. 21st) Don't cry because it's over, smile because we fucking survived election season…though for how long only the stars know.

Lucky Tesco product of the week: A fuck-off big box of tissues Capricorn (Dec. 22nd - Jan. 19th) Remember to read the description of things properly when shopping online: your butthole will thank you for it Lucky item of the week – A cushion Aquarius (Jan. 20th - Feb. 18th) - No matter how much you try and deny it, Cork will always be far superior to Kerry. Sorry man.

Lucky River of the week: The river of tears you cry as you finally realise Cork’s superiority.

Pisces (Feb. 19th - Mar. 20th) - From now on you are officially BANNED from contributing to political discussions. No ifs, no buts, BANNED Lucky book of the week: Dummies Guide to Socialism

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

1515 member you are immersed in the dystopian world of the play.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of The Pillowman is the play’s exploration of the topics of art and power, and the relationship between them. McDonagh celebrates the power of writers as something that can bring even an authoritarian dictatorship into panic. It is a play that reminds us of the power of the individual against the collective, and the crucial importance of freedom of speech.

Review: The Pillowman Sarah Ryan - Byline Associate Editor Life is hard for Katurian K. Katurian: he’s an unsuccessful writer living in a totalitarian dictatorship, he’s a murder suspect, and he just so happens to be the central character in Martin McDonagh’s latest twisted masterpiece, which doesn’t really bode well for him.

At first glance, The Pillowman is another McDonagh classic; the play is full of the usual horror and violence, featuring gruesome tales of harrowing child abuse and gore, intertwined with bursts of unsettling humour - a mix that, combined with Carl Kennedy’s ghostly lullaby soundtrack, leaves you feeling ill-at-ease in your seat.

Upon further inspection (or reading of the

programme), however, it is noticeable that within The Pillowman there lies an important message about the power of writers, and the importance of storytelling & the freedom of speech.

Since its premiere in 2003, The Pillowman has received widespread critical acclaim, and has also managed to scoop up two Tony Awards & an Olivier Award. It’s not hard to see why. The Decadent Theatre Company’s performance of the play, which recently finished its two-month tour of Ireland, is faultless, with particular stand-outs being Owen Sharpe as Michal, Katurian’s intellectually disabled older brother, and Diarmuid Noyes, in the role of Katurian

himself. Sharpe, whose other work includes roles in The Guard and My Left Foot, gives a charming, funny performance, while Noyes’ perfect delivery of Katurian’s horrifying children’s tales, which are more likely to be found in a Kubrick or Tarantino film than anywhere else, makes for a chilling night at the theatre.

Owen MacCartháigh’s ingenious set design deserves special mention. I won’t ruin it for you, but the way in which MacCartháigh utilises the space to create scenes from the past, present and the imagined is something truly brilliant. The set is crucial to making the dark tales of The Pillowman as engrossing as they are, and as an audience

Then, there’s the story itself. Again, there’s no mistaking who wrote The Pillowman, with McDonagh’s snappy dialogue and unruly violence, evident in his other work like In Bruges and The Academy Award winning Six Shooter, also at the centre of this story. The exchanges between characters are bizarrely entertaining, and McDonagh’s signature mix of humour and tragedy is a key feature of the play. At times, you find yourself laughing during the gruesome tales of child murders, wondering how you got there. For fans of Orwell and Kafka-type dystopias, The Pillowman is a sure treat.

The Pillowman is bizarre. It’s funny, it’s witty, it’s creepy, it’s unsettling and it’s vaguely horrifying. And if you get the chance to go and see it, I couldn’t recommend it enough.

Five Very Corkonian (Very Cultural) Things to do This Weekend.

Sarah Ryan - Byline Associate Editor Is your soul feeling depleted after too many nights in Holy Cow? Extensive knowledge of Keeping Up with The Kardashians no longer useful when all your friends are discussing shit, low-budget indie films? Need a jazzy new corduroy jacket that smells like your grandad? Say no more, say no more: here are five very Corkonian, very cultural things to do this weekend to give you a little bit of cultural spice in your life (and pretentious bragging rights, naturally.)

2. Cork Film Festival Presents: The Boy on the Train. In The Boy on the Train (from Hungarian director Roger Deutsch) a filmmaker, while attending a screening of one of his films in Budapest, is approached by the now grown-up subject of the film, who is outraged by the director’s incorrect portrayal of him as a budding fascist and Soviet youth. The Boy on the Train is a film that centres on the idea of morality in filmmaking, and is inspired by Deutsch’s own regrets about his inaccurate portray1. City Limits presents: Noel James plus als of subjects in his films. The Boy on the guests. His comedy has been called bizarre Train is being screened in Triskel Christand absurd, he’s famed for his ‘devastat- church on November 18th, tickets cost €7 ingly funny one-liners’ and now this weird and can be bought online.

Welshman is bringing his unique blend of surreal puns and wit to City Limits. Noel 3. Mother Jones’ Flea Market. Located on James will be performing in City Limits York Hill, just off of McCurtain Street, Comedy Club on Friday November 18th Mother Jones’ Flea Market has it all; whatand Saturday November 19th. Tickets are ever you’re looking for- vintage sweater €18 and can be purchased at the door from vests, obscure Seasick Steve records, weed 8.30pm. cookbooks or tarot readings, you’ll prob-

ably find it in Mother Jones’. Open every weekend from Friday to Saturday, 10am to 6pm.

4. Cork Arts Theatre Presents - Debris: Debris by Dennis Kelly (Channel 4’s Utopia, Love and Money) is a one-act play about Michael and Michelle, a brother and sister trying to make sense of their dysfunctional childhood. The play, starring James De Burca (Juno and the Paycock) and Una O’Sullivan, revolves around the two characters recreating stories and characters from their chaotic past in a delightful, and sometimes unnerving fashion. Debris is being shown in Cork Arts Theatre from Thursday the 17th to Saturday the 19th of November, and tickets cost €15.

5. Trad night at Sin É: Sin É has been famous for hosting trad nights for years, and still remains fiercely loyal to the genre.

Traditional music has always been played at the pub, even when it was seen as uncool (particularly between the 50s and the 70s).

The pub has had live music every week for nearly fifty years, and shows no signs of stopping. Truly a cultural heritage site, Sin É hosts trad sessions seven nights a week from 7pm onwards. And if the trad won’t convince you to get down to the Coburg Street pub, maybe the reggae, atmosphere and the possibility of a chat with a great uncle you probably haven’t seen in ages will.

Film & TV

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Movie Recommendations Cheating a bit this week ‘because elections’. Watch House of Cards, or else Designated Survivor – both on Netflix, and not as dramatic as real life (well, actually, no: they are). House of Cards has four seasons (fifth on the way) for the Netflix-produced version; Designated Survivor is currently hallways through its first season.

New to Netflix If you’re one for reality shows, but have run out of weird/ quirky things to watch, Netflix have recently added the Japanese reality show ‘Terraced House’. Interesting look at a vastly different culture with different societal norms, with a bit of trash thrown in.

Just Out Something about Fantastic Beasts or something, I’m not too sure. Nocturnal Animals is also just released: this is one for anyone who’s getting ready for Oscar season, because it’s coming (get ready for La La Land, I swear) Person of the Hour Benedict Cumberbatch – just look at my section right now which is covered for the most part in Cumberbatch’s glory.

We are all his Cumberbitches, let’s be honest.

The Key to Sherlock’s Return to Form Aaron Frahill - Film & Televi- In the end, they just confirmed that there’s an extra feature in the Season sion Editor The last season of Sherlock came out two years ago: I was enjoying my time off from 5th Year over Christmas, and come 8PM New Year’s day I was sitting down in front of the TV waiting for the answer that was on all Sherlock fans’ lips (spoilers) – “what’s the story with Sherlock not being dead after jumping off the building?” What we got was a season that fans of the show felt let down by, as the quality wasn’t what they had grown to expect. Then, come New Year’s Day 2016 & we got ‘The Abominable Bride’, and that took those already mildly disappointed fans and made them start to question: is this Sherlock now? With Season Four just around the corner (typical New Year’s Day airing again), what does this season hold in store, and how can they bring it back to its former witty glory?

It’s no secret that Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss (sidenote - Gatiss is also Mycroft) are very clever writers, but it reached a point after season two where they were being too clever. Take ‘The Empty Hearse’, for example: without indulging in spoilers, in case there’s readers out there who have yet to watch the show & plan on doing so before season four, it basically takes the aforementioned cliff-hanger from Season Two and plays around with it, never giving a concrete answer in the episode. Moffat had come out multiple times and said there are clues as to how he actually did it; you just have to look carefully – but, being honest, that’s really annoying.

Three DVD which shows the actual way he did it. There is a massive difference between being clever and coy, and telling your fans to go find a needle in a haystack, but actually placing the needle in a very similar, larger haystack that they have to pay €30 for. Season Four needs to consider what made episodes like ‘A Scandal in Belgravia’ so smart, and leave us Sherlocked again.

I have no fondness for the Christmas Special; setting it up as a separate story, universe, etc. from the main plotline made sense, and let fans have a brief taste to numb the pain of a long hiatus; but this was not what we got.

Muddling the subplot of the episode with the overall plot of the series completely undermined the episode firstly, and felt slapped together in order to set up the Fourth Season, but with no concrete final breath or clear path forward.

The Victorian spinoff was good, until it

tried to split itself. This is something Sherlock has been trending with: repetitious attempts to do a number of nonchalant things within an episode that build up to a pivotal moment. It made sense when they were in a controlled manner, but the Christmas Special was simply ridiculous in what it was trying to do. Season Four needs to pace itself, and learn from the mistakes of the special because that is the best thing to do; otherwise it leaves itself to fall further in standard.

There are a number of points you could touch on that would be controversial among fans - I think the role of Moriarty being the main one. The trailer for Season Four paints a distorted picture of what we are normally accustomed to – the charm seems to have been replaced by a dark, desolate tone. The next season seems to be building to a climax of sorts, but where will it go?

New Year’s Day 2017 will be the time to tell.

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FILM & TV Editor - Aaron Frahill

Cork Film Festival: 11th – 20th November 2016 Aaron Frahill - Film & Television Editor

The Cork Film Festival is in its 61st year, and by the time you’re reading this it’ll be about halfway through its 2016 run (the fortnightly publishing schedule for the Express isn’t fun sometimes). For the most part, the film Festival is held in Cork City locations: so Triskel, the Gate, the Everyman, and St Fin Barre’s Cathedral. If you’re not around the City for the most part, the Gate Mallow and the Gate Midleton will also be showing films involved in the Festival.

“the film Festival is held in [...] Triskel, the Gate, the Everyman, and St Fin Barre’s Cathedral”

Just taking a look through the programme from my perspective, ‘I Am Not a Serial

made iconic by the late actor.

Killer’ looks like a highlight for the Festival; directed by Cork native Billy O’Brien, and starring Christopher Lloyd of ‘Back to the Future’ fame, it follows a teen who has homicidal tendencies who is hunting (ironically) a serial killer. I Am Not a Serial Killer is among 80 Irish films included in the festival. After much media and government attention, the schedule for the 1916 centenary is winding down, and the Festival will be showing a collection of shorts titled “After 16.” Following the unfortunate passing of Gene Wilder, the original Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory will be shown, where you’ll get to see the role

On a personal note, I think it’s important that we go out and support the Festival.

I imagine it’s only a small proportion of readers that are actually aware that the Festival had to receive a €200,000 loan from the City Hall in order for it to continue to function this year. The Festival acts as a pivotal point for young filmmakers, new filmmakers, and, more importantly, Irish filmmakers, but in order for it to be with us for years to come, it needs support from the Cork peo-

Marvel casts another spell over 2016 with Doctor Strange Darragh McGrath - Film & Television Writer I don’t need to be a mathematics student (which I am most definitely not) to know that ‘Marvel Studios + Benedict Cumberbatch = endless nerd joy’. QED. So when I found out that the giant of comic book movies had cast the great actor - who captured the hearts and imaginations of our generation as the titular character in BBC’s Sherlock - as one of their most powerful superheroes, I added yet another ‘mustsee’ release to my 2016 calendar (which consists mainly of cinema & DVD release dates, and exam timetables).

Following the epic event of this summer that was Civil War, in which many of the interconnected Marvel movies’ storylines were brought to a conclusion, many devoted fans were eager to see where the grand saga of superheroes would go next; we’ve seen “genius playboy billionaire philan-

thropists,” super soldiers and even gods, so what else can they throw at us?

How about sorcerers that can bend the very laws of reality?

This stand-alone movie tells the origins of the ‘Sorcerer Supreme’ with a classic riches-to-rags character redemption as its backbone narrative. At this stage, fans and casual audiences alike should be more than familiar with the superhero movie formula: Hero origin, Villain introduction and Epic Showdown (throw in a Stan Lee cameo and a post-credit teaser for the sequel and you’ve got yourself a critical & box-office hit).

I have said before that the sheer number

of superhero titles being released, all of which follow this pattern, has the potential to make the genre become stale and repetitive. However, when the movies such as this one are well directed, with a cast of talented actors and a solid story, that doesn’t seem to be a problem. Marvel has proven time and time again that they know two important things: what the fans want, and how to make good movies. Long may the phenomenon continue, true believers!

Cumberbatch is perfectly cast in the leading role of the brilliant but arrogant former surgeon (yes, the British actor does use an American accent, but it is a convincing one). I was also happy to see Rachel McAdams play the obligatory strong female love interest for the hero (how many other actresses can now say they have worked opposite two Sherlocks?) Mads Mikkelson

ple, and this spreads out to us as students.

In a University where it is incredibly likely graduates will be working on films that will appear in future Festivals, and even this Festival – get out and appreciate the work that they’ve worked for years to achieve!

takes on the role of the villain, and anyone who enjoyed him as Dr Lecter on TV’s spine-chilling detective drama Hannibal will be in for a treat.

One of the film’s greatest appeals was the mind-bending visual effects, used to convey the sorcerer’s power to warp reality and travel to other universes. There were points when I found myself wondering if I should compare this experience to watching Harry Potter or Rick & Morty, but either works for me!

Marvel shows no signs of slowing down as it continues to expand its Cinematic Universe, capping off their 2016 success with this brilliantly cast and visually stunning magical adventure that’s fun for everyone. Roll on 2017!

MUSIC

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Festival Watch: Primal Scream have been announced as the first Headliner of next year’s Sea Sessions festival. The legendary rock band are scheduled to play the seaside venue, complete with Skate and BMX parks, between Friday 23rd and Sunday 25th of June. Early bird tickets are on sale now and are priced at €89.90 for 3 days and €114.90 for 4 nights camping.

Album News: Gorillaz have been teasing their upcoming fourth studio album. The as-yet-untitled record, which will follow 2010’s critically acclaimed Plastic Beach, as well as 2011’s digital album The Fall, is due for release in 2017. A series of high profile guests, including Jean Michel Jarre, De La Soul and Snoop Dogg, have already confirmed to be collaborating on material. Several new Instagram accounts have been created featuring visual stories of what band members Noodle, Russell, Murdoc and 2D have been up to since the events of Plastic Beach.

Kanye Story of the Week: One of Kanye’s first paid producing jobs was on Jay-Z’s ‘The Blueprint’. There were three producers working on the album that were separated into different studios and competed to have as many songs as possible on the Album. Kanye won, with a total of 5 songs, the other competing producers being Just Blaze and Timbaland.

Does the closure of TXFM Spell the end for independent radio?

Maebh Butler - Music Writer With the rapid increase in online streaming platforms, the way in which we engage with music has transformed.

What was once a case of buying and receiving CDs & cassettes (or records for those of a riper age among us) has now become condensed down into our laptops and smartphones without any real effort or adventure involved on our behalf. It is this change in music culture that is unfortunately destroying the optimism for alternative and new musicians making their way in the industry, as they struggle to keep afloat with what little funding they have raised themselves.

Deezer and Spotify helps us at all. It does not. Look how many bands are on there and do the maths.”

Sadly, TXFM, a glimmer of hope among the ‘bad guys’ that are online streaming outlets and mainstream radio stations, has also said its final goodbyes to its dedicated listenership. TXFM were one of the only radio stations in Ireland that truly dedicated itself to supporting new and alternative music. With the culture of online streaming, musicians could find solace in knowing there was at least one radio station giving them air-time. As former presenter Shelly Gray says: “It was the solution to the mainstream pop music” that had taken over our airwaves.

For Gray, TXFM was “always about the music,”

For Gray, TXFM was “always about the music,” something that is arguably absent on other stations.” TXFM provided a platform for new Irish artists to have their music heard by the masses and, unfortunately, the station’s closure means these artists will likely suffer in terms of music sales and gig attendance. A special shout out to Cathal Funge, who presented The Listening Post – a show dedicated to new Irish music.

In a world of Spotify, YouTube and repetitive pop music churning around on mainstream radio stations, it was qualities such as these that encouraged the promising musicians in Ireland, and the reality of Gray’s words can be seen in alternative rock band Fight Like Apes’ recent Facebook post announcing their break up. In their post, Fight Like Apes admit that, while being in a band in our current musical climate can be an amazing experience, at the end of the day the financial challenges that they faced were too strenuous to overcome. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your £10 subscription to

A similar sentiment is shared by Hot Press Deputy Editor Stuart Clark, as he comments on the issue of online music and how “paying quids to Spotify” is doing no good for smaller musicians in Ireland. Clark also comments on TXFM as catering for a niche within a niche as Dublin is just too much of a “small market.” This is something also touched upon by Gray as she draws attention towards “the effort to find TXFM on the FM and realise it existed…

TXFM relied on this organic listenership to keep the station alive.”

Unfortunately, though, what gave TXFM its special quality also resulted in its demise - alternative music for Dubliners makes little to no profit.

From a musician’s perspective, Daniel Malone, guitarist of The Dyatonics (also featured on Funge’s show), explains how he is only all too familiar with the challenges of getting their music on air. As a member of a five-piece prog rock band, Malone says how “radio is non-significant to any band operating in our niche market.” The majority of the time it’s all about “who you know” in the industry when getting your music out there to the masses, highlighting the importance of TXFM’s efforts on air.

“radio is non-significant to any band operating in our niche market”

Malone portrays this best through his experience of spending “five hours walking around every stretch of town in the pissing rain handing [their] CD’s into stations” at the end of which only one gave them some air time – John Barker at 98FM. Yet, only a year later, they manage to secure themselves a slot at the Electric Picnic festival because of someone they knew. In his words, “Maximum Effort = Minimum Reward, Minimum Effort = Maximum Reward.” While Malone is positive about a potential replacement for TXFM, Clark and Gray seem to hold a more pessimistic outlook. Clark comments on TXFM’s closure as “disheartening;” the station, he says, seemed to have “exhausted all avenues.”

In Gray’s eyes, however, part of the Irish music scene died on 26th October, 2016.

Her words lament the sorry reality surrounding developments of music culture on a larger scale. The demise of alternative music will only progress if we continue to choose streaming over purchasing hard copies from musicians themselves, and while we’ve had to say goodbye to a gem in the alternative music sphere, we now have the choice to invest in musicians directly, and go back to the grass-roots of music consumption.

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music Editor - Cailean Coffey

Lady Gaga – Joanne (Review) Margaret Gillies – Music Writer

With her last major solo release ARTPOP receiving a lukewarm response from both critics and fans alike. The pressure was surely on for Lady Gaga to pull out all the stops for her fifth album, at least if the ‘Queen of Pop’ was to maintain her crown. ‘Joanne’, however, immediately stands out as one of Gaga’s most musically stripped-back releases.

Joanne means well, and Gaga’s talent shines through on this album, but much of it feels a little too underwhelming and formulaic at times. That’s not to say it

isn’t without its highlights: opening track Diamond Heart is an uplifting pop-rock anthem, and one of Joanne’s standout tracks.

The swaggering John Wayne is another big highlight, and Florence Welch makes a very welcome guest appearance on the endearing and soulful duet Hey Girl.

While Gaga’s new image and sound does confirm her strengths as a multi-talented artist, one can’t help but slightly miss the outrageousness and unpredictability of the Born This Way era, especially while listening to the latter half of Joanne. Many of the

Bry – An Album Review Cailean Coffey – Music Editor

songs are too rigidly written, and overly formulaic. Even the chorus of the album’s first single, Perfect Illusion, becomes too repetitive, making the song itself feel about 30 seconds too long. Elsewhere, A-YO feels strangely like it could be a Meghan Trainor reject. Dancin’ in Circles is another underwhelming number which veers dangerously close to sounding a bit Eurovision-esque.

It feels like the album was written with the deliberate intention of detaching Gaga from the stereotypical generic pop genre, which is what her Just Dance persona was Some people may already know of Bry through his incredibly popular YouTube vlogging channel, but any preconceptions that he is simply getting an album off the back of a few subscribers is quickly dispelled, as this talented musician leaves his mark on you within a matter of minutes of his debut album. The Irish singer-songwriter is out to prove everyone wrong, and with almost inch perfect production from Greg Wells (Twenty One Pilots, Mika and Katy Perry) it comes off a treat.

“It encapsulates what it’s like to care for someone more than you ever thought you could” The album starts in an upbeat mood, with a stomping rhythm leading the song to almost anthemic proportions. The wave of positivity slips in and out of the album, with some emotional acoustic songs slipping through. One of these slower, sadder songs is, however, the best song on the album; ‘Your Life Over Mine’ starts very slowly, with a synth backing track and an acoustic guitar, but the soaring heights of the chorus make it the best track on the album by far, and one of the best from a

associated with. However, this seems to have backfired slightly, with many of the tracks on Joanne feeling a little too mellow and protective. Having said that, Joanne is definitely more of a wavering, tentative step in the right direction rather than a total misfire, as the change in style will doubtless win Gaga praise for stepping out of her more flamboyant comfort zone, and will aid her in developing from a generic pop princess into a more diverse musician.

new Irish act this year. It encapsulates what it’s like to care for someone more than you ever thought you could and is heartbreakingly honest, with the pleading “please don’t leave” encapsulating how everyone feels at some stage of their life. Other track highlights include Adventure Time, a track that was first released on Bry’s YouTube Channel in 2013, that has been slightly reworked for the album, the upbeat Care (despite a somewhat infuriating ‘grand’ at the end) and the smooth closing track in Pieces. A nice touch for original fans is that a lot of the previously released songs have not been changed drastically, allowing those who had an attachment to the originals to keep that emotional connection.

The song ‘Everything’ is much too similar to a certain Coldplay song for comfort, but on a debut album, you’re allowed a blip or two.

Overall a very catchy debut album - endearingly lovely, cute and the perfect study companion. The lyrics, while simple, suit it, and fit the feel of the album as a whole.

From an act that started on YouTube, this album and his endearing personality has the possibility to take him across the world.

Interview

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Cailean Coffey – Music Editor In an almost-empty room on the top floor of the Triskel Church, one of the most beautiful artistic places in the City, Heathers are in deep contemplation. The question has just been asked of whether there is any need to worry about the lack of Irish female artists creating excitement in the music scene and, due to its serious nature, a moment is needed. Finally, after some hesitation, Ellie MacNamara, one half of the twin songwriting duo, looks up and passionately answers.

“I think that there’s a lot more amazing female musicians out at the moment, like Wyvern Lingo, Roisin O, Soak…” and almost instantly, as though defending her sister from a viscous attack, Louise MacNamara sits forward excitedly, adding: “I think there’s a lot more. I mean, look at Bitch Falcon, I think there’s just more and more female artists - Orla Gartland as well, of course, -it’s just amazing to see so much brilliant female musicians in Ireland.” And though they may sometimes be forgotten, when the sisters look at each other, smiling, it’s clear why they are leading the charge.

“I think that there’s a lot more amazing female musicians out at the moment” Heathers are an acoustic pop duo hailing from Blackrock in Dublin. The twin sisters, Louise and Ellie, began writing at the age of 17, in an attempt to follow in the steps of friends and other local musicians who were putting on shows and releasing albums at the time. “We come from quite a musical family,” Louise explains; “we would have had a lot of family gatherings where everyone would have had to get up and sing something, and we both started playing piano growing up and were always singing; but we didn’t start writing music until we were 17. And we started going to kinda ‘DIY’ pub gigs in Co. Wicklow, in Greystones, when we were 15, and the people that we met there were all in bands, writing their own music, putting on their own gigs and releasing their own music.” Looking back on it, she remembers: “I think that I wrote a verse or a chorus, went into Ellie and said: ‘I wrote this, can you add some harmony to it or what do you think?’ and that’s sort of where it started.”

The girls, however, were slow to believe that they could become musicians full-time, and Ellie admits that it took a big break to realise it was possible; “I don’t think it was until, like, a year or two years later,” Ellie recalls. “One of our songs, Remember When, was picked up by Fáilte Ireland

HEATHERS

for their campaign - the Discover Ireland campaign - and I don’t think it was until then that we realized that ‘Oh wait; people might actually like the songs that we’re writing’.” The ad was the most expensive the Irish Tourism board had ever made, and the commercial and the song accompanying it was shown throughout Ireland and across the world. Heathers truly were inescapable, even though many had no idea who they were.

Although the two sisters are very close, it was sometimes difficult for Lousie, when writing the lyrics, to be able to show her sister everything that was going on in her mind.

“We used to write completely in metaphors,” Louise admits, “and I think that was because we were quite nervous and insecure teenagers and shy and didn’t necessarily want to tell it exactly as it is.” Ellie supports her, saying: “- but it’s kind of nice to be able to use figurative language and metaphors to make your lyrics more interesting, in a way, and the balance [between figurative

and literal language] makes people think more.” When beginning to write music, the girls were signed almost immediately, and at one stage were juggling writing their debut album and studying for the Leaving Certificate. Instead of going out every weekend, the girls created a balance of studying, writing and going to local gigs.

“I don’t know how we did it,” Ellie remembers, almost in amazement, “but it helped us to do the studying as well, because I think it was about having that balance and being able to have an outlet and then get back to it.”

When the two finally got to college, both getting their first choice of Music Technology in Maynooth (Louise) and Primary School Teaching (Ellie), the difficulty of cramming for exams and touring at the same time didn’t get any easier. Looking back on that time, both remember it as being quite difficult and Louise even

remembers having to miss exams to make shows, apart from one particular show. “I remember when we were meant to play The Great Escape in Brighton and it was all set up but I couldn’t go because it was my finals in third year.” Ellie remembers as recently as last year, when she was on teaching practice, having to “finish school and go straight to RTE or like… or over to London”.

“it was sometimes difficult for Lousie, when writing the lyrics, to be able to show her sister everything” Throughout the band’s history, there has been a custom of leaving listeners go a long time without a new album, with four years between their first and second album, and unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be changing. When asked why there was such a long time between albums, they admitted to it being a combination of a number of factors. “We originally released [debut album, ‘Here, Not There’] in Ireland first on our DIY label in 2008, the year we did our leaving cert, and then played dates two summers in a row and during college and in those two years we… we got approached for the song to be on the Discover Ireland ad, so we ended up re-releasing it. It made sense for us to re-release it. We set up our

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Interview by Cailean Coffey own record label, and we started releasing it through other labels in the UK and in the States and everything, so we ended up kinda releasing it twice, touring it in Ireland then ended up touring it in the States, toured it in the UK.” Rethinking it, Louise also states that “we both find it difficult to write on the road: we kinda need to be in the right headspace. That’s basically what happened, we were so busy with touring that we didn’t get a lot of writing done and we had to then come home and write another album, and it took a while.” When asked about when to expect a third album, the girls were coy, not wanting to set themselves a deadline, but saying that “we will, I’d say, put out another album soon. But for the time being…”

While Heathers have proved very successful, sold a lot of albums and played hundreds of gigs across the world, for every success story there is more than one sad ending, and last week started with the news of the breakup of one of Ireland’s most promising bands, Fighting Like Apes. The sisters were shocked to hear the news but were, unfortunately, not surprised. When asked about the struggles that independent artists go through to survive, a familiar perpetrator constantly emerges. “Number one, which is what [Fighting Like Apes]

said, was Spotify and not making money.

I mean, a lot of Irish bands nowadays have to have other jobs because it’s very difficult to sustain yourself.”

‘“It’s very difficult to make money off Spotify, it’s very difficult to make money off touring,’’ “It’s very difficult to make money off Spotify, it’s very difficult to make money off touring, there are lots of expenses and stuff, whether it’s flights, accommodation, paying musicians or whatever. Luckily for us, our main source of income is Sync (A music license paid to artists to use their songs on advertisements or TV shows), Discover Ireland would be an example of that: songs placed on TV shows and stuff in the States, and then writing for ads kinda specifically, that’s been our kind of lifesaver.” Ellie chimes in: “Money is so important in life, we all need it to kind of get by and that can have a physical effect on what your band can do - but it can also cause rifts. It’s important to see that being in a band or whatever, or being a musician is kind of like, even between us, there’s a relationship that needs to be nurtured and that can cause rifts.”

The girls have been doing press all day, but even as the interview closes, they are laughing, smiling and sharing stories about life on the road, in the studio, what they get to during their breaks and how they were once asked to write songs for David Guetta.

Finally, I ask what they’re big aims for the future are, in the next two to three years.

“We’re hopefully going to head over to the states next year,” Louise replies, excitedly,

genuinely looking forward to the adventure. “I would love to tour a lot more, to head over to Asia. I would also love to play the Olympia in Dublin.” And with that, I leave the girls to pack up their guitars and hit the road again, leading the frontline once more for independent musicians and giving hope to all who need it.

GAMING

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Upcoming Releases Assassin’s Creed: Ezio Collection ‘Member Ezio? ‘Member Italy? ‘Member when Assassin’s Creed games were really good? I ‘member! And if you give Ubisoft money, you can ‘member too!

Pokémon Sun and Moon From what I’ve seen, this sequel really improves over Pokémon GO. It looks like they’ve totally overhauled the battle system and even allow you to battle wild Pokémon.

If they keep improving the games at this rate, maybe this series will catch on.

Watch_Dogs 2 I don’t think I’ve ever seen a series do a 180 harder on its tone than this. First game: who killed my niece? Second game: Be teh l33t haxxor 4 teh lulz!

The Amnesia Collection Amnesia was the original YouTube-bait horror game before people even knew what that meant. Now people barely remember it. No joke here, I just think that’s kind of sad.

Joining the Andromeda Initiative Kieran Barrett – Gaming Writer

The original Mass Effect trilogy was widely praised by critics and fans alike for its storytelling and the role-playing experience it offered to players, despite minor hiccups, like the controversial ending to Mass Effect 3. BioWare and EA have been suspiciously quiet regarding the next instalment in the franchise, Mass Effect: Andromeda, but fans of the series were eagerly awaiting November 7th, or N7 day, as it has become known.

N7 is significant in the Mass Effect universe as it refers to the military program which the original trilogy’s protagonist, Commander Shepard, was trained in. To quote the Mass Effect Wiki; “N7 is a vocational code in the Systems Alliance military. The “N” designates Special Forces and the “7” refers to the highest level of proficiency.” The N7 code was an integral part in Commander Shepard’s story and BioWare promised that new details on Mass Effect: Andromeda were to be released on November 7th.

And so, on N7 day, we received a new cinematic trailer and a plethora of new details on the upcoming title. Replacing Commander Shepard as the protagonist we have Ryder, or “The Pathfinder” as they are known. The Pathfinder is described as being “a blend of elite soldier, scientist, and guide who is tasked with finding a new home.” It is the Pathfinders job to venture to the Andromeda Galaxy to find a new home for humanity, a precaution to the events which take place in the original trilogy. As is stated on the official Mass Effect website; “The future of our species rests on your shoulders.”

The player character is not the only Pathfinder in the Andromeda Initiative however, as there are three other vessels leaving to travel to Andromeda, each of which harbours “a separate species.” So the humans

are accompanied by, what I assume, are three returning species from the original trilogy, as they seek a new home in Andromeda.

An interesting dynamic is introduced as the protagonist’s father, Alec Ryder, was the original Pathfinder, but that mantle is now passed to the player. There is a choice, as in most RPGs, between playing as a male or female, but rather than having you exclusively choose one over the other, both the male and female character will exist in game as siblings. If you choose to play as a male Ryder, your sister will exist in the universe independently of you. Already, Mass Effect: Andromeda introduces a deep sense of personal involvement in the story thanks to the family oriented aspect of the characters.

“Andromeda introduces a deep sense of personal involvement in the story” As for how Mass Effect: Andromeda deals with the ending of Mass Effect 3, BioWare have decided to somewhat ignore it, possibly for the better. Thanks to the new information on N7 day we learned that the “Andromeda Initiative” was launched in the year 2185 in the game’s storyline; this is an important date, as it is set after the events of Mass Effect 2, but before Mass Effect 3. So what exactly does this mean?

According to the Andromeda Initiative’s fictitious “founder,” Jien Garson, on a video posted on Mass Effect’s official website, “600 years from now you will awake from cryostasis on the outskirts of the Andromeda galaxy.” So our protagonists were put into cryo-sleep before the ending of Mass Effect 3, and were sent on a 600 year oneway trip to another galaxy. Is it just me, or do BioWare really not want to address that Mass Effect 3 ending?

Following the reveal on N7 day, BioWare creative director Mac Walters confirmed some details about the upcoming title on Twitter. The two protagonists, the male and female Ryder, are officially called Scott and Sarah respectively, but the player has the choice to rename them, as well as customising their appearance. This should come as no surprise to those that played the original trilogy, or indeed any of BioWare’s other RPG franchises. Walters also confirmed that both same-sex and alien romance options will be available in Mass Effect: Andromeda, another returning feature from the original games. Walters stated that, in regards to gameplay, they’ve “created a better balance,” between RPG and shooter than they’ve “had in the past, with more freedom to play the way you want to play.”

Fans were still worried at the release of this new footage, however, as it didn’t reveal as much as some had hoped. BioWare have promised to reveal more Andromeda gameplay during The Game Awards in December, although EA CFO Blake Jorgensen said the game could be delayed by another “three or four or five months,” if it makes the game better. Mass Effects: Andromeda has already suffered one delay, having been scheduled to release in 2016, it is now set for a release sometime in March 2017 and one can only hope that there are no more delays in sight.

For now, fans are happy to cling on to whatever information they can get, such as that Game Informer revealed that Alec Ryder, the protagonist’s father, is voiced

by Clancy Brown, the man who also lends his talents to Mr. Krabs in SpongeBob, as well as appearing in The Shawshank Redemption. That man knows how to pick his projects, and that gives me hope for the future.

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gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Skylanders Academy is bad, and it made me feel bad Jonathan Soltan – Gaming Skeletor For those of you who don’t know me (which is literally all of you), I really like the original Spyro the Dragon trilogy on the original PlayStation. Year of the Dragon remains, to this day, my favourite game of all time. I can almost breeze through that game blindfolded at this point, finding every egg and gem easily. It’s gotten to the point that it’s almost like putting together a jigsaw puzzle for me. It’s not so much fun, as it is satisfying.

I didn’t really pay attention to what games came out during the PS2 era, so the Spyro games on that system passed me by. The PS3 was a different story, though. That’s when I really started getting clued in. I still remember my reaction when the first Skylanders game got announced. I loaded up the announcement trailer with much excitement. Once I saw what the new Spyro looked like, though, much of that excitement left me. Once gameplay appeared on screen, I realised that I never had to pay attention to this game again, since it clearly wasn’t aimed at me. The Skylanders series has since gone on to make huge money for Activision and has six games in its main series - and now, a Netflix show as well! That I watched the first episode of, for some reason. Usually when I complain about something I try and make some legitimate points; but this time I’m just going to give out about a show that isn’t aimed at me.

The show starts, and I am immediately triggered by Spyro’s ability to fly. I know he’s been flying for at least ten years, but it still just doesn’t sit right with me. There is also something about the way that the intro scene is cut. It’s jarring for reasons I can’t explain. Before I can get too annoyed by the odd camera-work, though, I’m thrown into the opening credits. Cue weird auto-tuned pop music. It was at this moment that I began to think that I had made a serious miscalculation. Less than five minutes in and I was already cringing so much that my face was folding in on itself.

Once the show proper begins, we get the setup. Spyro is a super talented student at Skylanders academy coming up on his graduation, and he’s egotistical due to his natural talents. This is demonstrated to us by him taking a selfie of his ass for a fan. Comedy. He has two friends called Stealth Elf and Eruptor. Stealth Elf doesn’t actually go invisible: she either teleports, or can run really fast. The show isn’t very clear about this.

“taking a selfie of his ass for a fan. Comedy..”

There is also some great unintentional humour in the show when Spyro says how handsome he is multiple times. He obviously didn’t learn the meaning of the word “irony” at the academy, since he is by far the most stupid looking incarnation of Spyro. I also got a lot of uninten-

tional comedic joy from the show’s main villain, Kaos; he’s a tiny little guy with a bald head and big ears, so he actually looks pretty funny in his own right, but that was only enhanced for me by the fact that he’s voiced by Richard Horvitz. Horvitz voiced Daggett in The Angry Beavers back in the nineties, and is using the exact same voice here for Kaos. Due to this fact I actually enjoyed far more of the show than I thought I would due to spending time fondly remembering The Angry Beavers. Note to Activision for season two: add a talking beaver (anger optional).

About halfway through the episode there was a very frustrating moment during which Kaos has stolen a book that he can use to kill all the Skylanders. Some of the good guys attack him one by one, like good sportsmen, and get rebuffed. Throughout the engagement, Stealth Elf looks on from the side-lines. Regardless of whether she can teleport or just run super-fast, her power is movement based. She could have easily zipped over and whacked Kaos on the head. As far as I’m concerned, Stealth Elf is

the real villain here.

If only because I truly am a masochist, I also skimmed through parts of the penultimate episode in the series, mainly because I found out that it was centred on Crash Bandicoot. In this show, he has an odd Australian accent, but I kind of liked it. The story of the episode is the team and Crash trying to find a relic to get him home. Spyro thinks Crash is super cool and starts dressing up like him (he stops short of jhorts). There is a genuinely fun moment where Crash jumps on a load of goblins’ heads as his theme tune played - very nostalgic. I also scrubbed through the episode to find out if he does his spin attack. Just when I was starting to lose hope, I found a bit where he throws out a futile spin against a magical forcefield. Good enough for me!

“As far as I’m concerned, Stealth Elf is the real villain here.”

As much as I’m giving out about this show, it’s only because I’m a bitter old man who sees it as a symbol of Activision holding the Spyro series hostage. I imagine that, if you’re a child, this is actually very funny.

Also, if you didn’t enjoy this write-up, don’t worry: next issue I should be back on form.

I’ll probably talk about Christmas games or something. I love Christmas.

fashion

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Winter Beauty Iris Maher - Style Editor

Changing weather can mean changing your skincare routine. Skin can become dry, chapped, and delicate at this time of year. Even those with oily skin can be affected by this. You do not have to change your moisturiser, but a rich night cream can be added to your routine to help fight the dryness. I find it more difficult to drink more water in the colder months, but it will really help your skin to stay hydrated. It is not just your face that will suffer. Your hands can also be subjected to the colder temperatures. Wearing gloves will not only help you stay warm but your hands will thank you for it.

Darker evenings mean it is time to bring out the winter shades. Try a burgundy shade lipstick. Most makeup companies offer a wide range of darker lip shades ranging from sultry purples to deep reds.

There is something to match everyone’s taste. Eye makeup shades also turn darker for winter; again, these colours tend to stay rich, with plums and even shades of dark orange.

Shopping in the Sales? Be Smart Iris Maher - Style Editor

November sales have started in most of the clothing shops; sales are a dream for the thrifty shopper, but can end up being dangerous for your bank account - those half-price shoes and seventy-percent-off tops may end up costing you more than you thought.

Major discounts often lead to impulse buys and a frenzied shopping experience for even the smartest shopper. To help combat this, there are things you need to do before you even leave your house.

You do not necessarily need to clean out your wardrobe, but a quick inventory of what you already have is essential. Not only do you figure out what you need

“half-price shoes and seventy-percent-off tops may end up costing you more than you thought”

to buy, but it will also give you an idea of the type of items you may purchase often but never wear. Making a list will help you stay on track if you refer back to it while shopping. It is easy to become distracted.

Some shops do not accept returns on sale goods. Five euro may not seem like a lot, but if you never wear it, it is a waste.

You don’t have to commit to the first shop you come to.

Make a note of what you like, even take a quick picture of it. A different shop may have a similar item cheaper, or one you may prefer.

It is also advisable to look in shops you wouldn’t normally Have you got the basics? A couple of consider going into. You could surprise stable items will not go astray in your yourself. Also worth checking out are wardrobe. Whatever kind of personal more expensive clothing shops: the sale style you have, a good pair of shoes/ items may be slightly more expensive, runners is a must. Spend a little extra but of a higher quality (although this is and they should last you years. Stock not always the case!) up on other basic items such as t-shirts, jumpers etc. - anything you know you “You don’t have to comwill definitely wear time and time mit to the first shop you again. If you have a certain style of item that you love, try to pick up something come to” similar.

Knowing your own personal style is key here. You will be able to search more efficiently, saving you both time and money.

Remember to try everything on. High street shops are notorious for their varied sizing. Not only are the sizes different from shop to shop, but they can also be different within the one shop, especially when it comes to jeans, as it is difficult to find the perfect pair at the best of times. If you’re unsure of something, leave it.

Certain stores are synonymous with different aspects of fashion; River island have great jeans. H&M offer great basics. Some shops cater for a variety of sizes. New Look, for example, carry petite, tall and plus-size ranges.

Sales are exciting, but don’t buy something just because it is on sale. It is not fun to find it hidden away, never worn, three months from now.

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FASHION Editors - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe and Iris Maher College Men’s Style Pariah Artistry & Dapper Sapeur

“College is a chance to find yourself in terms of identity and fashion. Until now it’s been mostly trial and error, but as we grow older we become more confident in picking styles that suit us best, inevitably falling into a category.”

College can seem quite intimidating and daunting at first. It’s an ecosystem of so many different personalities and egos. It’s so easy to get lost or lose one’s sense of self.

Young men are now more than ever concerned about their appearance and the way that they are perceived to be. Their style is a way for them to express themselves and take control of a crucial part of their identity. Young men are now more comfortable with themselves and as a result their style and fashion sense has become more defined, making the campus a diverse showcase of style, trends and expression.

easy-going, converse-wearing dudes and broskis. Although there’s a variety of trends in the skater’s fashion wardrobe, I’ve gone with the most common look, which I feel includes: 1. Graphics! Graphic prints, artwork, lettering- statements: whether on a plain t-shirt or a pullover hoodie, skaters are all about being fun, carefree and edgy. Tops that might include a 90s cartoon character, symbolism, slang terminology, or just cool artwork, are very common amongst skaters.

Here are a few styles you might notice in your college/university.

2. Colours. Skaters are not afraid to indulge in vibrant and eye-popping colours. Usually mixing and matching, skaters go for an animated yet aesthetic effect. Could be something as simple as a red flannel shirt or a bright yellow sweatshirt with pink floral prints.

“College Roadman” The college roadman, a popular trend on campus these days, offers a kind of effortless look, combining style, warmth and comfort.

The key to pulling off this trend is to go minimalistic: simple patterns with very plain colours. Layers are crucial, weather depending, as this style really comes to show when more garments are worn: a plain hoodie or sweatshirt under a parka jacket, bomber, trench coat or even a puffer jacket gives a more authentic look.

When it comes to bottoms, this look puts comfort over style; a nice pair of slim joggers, slim fit jeans or even tracksuit bottoms are perfect to compliment this style.

When it comes to footwear, go for trendy sport shoes, Nike, Adidas, vans, puma etc.

Everything else you’re wearing almost provides the background for your shoes to really own the platform. For accessories, nothing too much; a simple sports cap, baseball cap or tennis visor completes the look.

“SK8TRS” College wouldn’t be college without the notorious group of kick-flippers and rail-sliders, making their way through campus on decorated planks of woods they call skateboards. Yes, skaters: the laidback, chilled,

3. Denims and shorts.

Skaters are well known for their “short-shorts”: usually rising just above the knee, worn in season. For autumn/winter, skaters rock their denims usually folded up to their ankle to show off their ‘stance socks’, and of course their feet are equipped with comfortable canvas trainers - usually Converse, Vans, or Nike. For accessories, once again keeping it funky with colourful/graphic beanies, snapbacks and fitted caps.

“PREPPIES” The preppies: their style says it all.

The sleek, tailored look that’s not too smart and not too casual.

Their style remains sophisticated without looking like they’re trying too hard, or they’re too dressed up. The ‘preppies’ look, simply put, is a mature, neat look, and one you’ll definitely see on campus. Usually spotted in some nice fitted denims or trousers; straight, slim, or skinny, depending on the individual. Colours that

really blend well with the season, nothing too outspoken or abstract. Smart-casual boots or brogues go well with the outfit.

Of course, some might opt out of the smart department and go for something a little more casual with a pair of minimalist monochromatic sneakers.

Usually preppies are suited with something plain and casual on top, e.g. a casual sweatshirt, sometimes worn over a buttoned up shirt or underneath an overcoat or even a bomber jacket. A polo neck for those cold college mornings and evenings, or just a scarf will do the trick. Items such as cardigans or cable knitwear get mixed in with the style as well.

Preppies usually sport a classic watch; nothing too extra, just something nice and simple to compliment the overall look.

“URBANITES” You know the ones. The ‘wasted youth’, the Kanye West glorifiers and Travis Scott fanboys.; the sneaker-heads, the distressed look mongers, the new school fashionistas.

Whether you’re with them or against them, the urbanites are a growing population in the fashion world, sending out a young, free and untamed message, breaking the boundaries of masculinity in menswear, creating a futuristic urban culture. A few popular trends amongst the urbanites are follows: Skinny fit ripped jeans (the more rips, the better); distressed t shirts and hoodies (distress everything); dark, tanned, khaki and camo colours as well as pastels - popular this year was the dessert pink, as well as the nude pink. In terms of style, oversized and longline fit are a must-have, whether it’s a curved hem tee, an elongated sweatshirt with side zips, or a plain oversized hoodie. Urbanites usually mix it up however, and also follow what’s trending.

It’s nice to see a balance where the style is kept urban but still looks neat, rather than a complete collage of trends. As many of you are aware, this style can get rather messy. When it comes down to it, less is more! Footwear, also extremely important to the urbanites, usually going for the high-end trainers that have the same edgy, futuristic look.

An example would be Y-3 Qasas, Adidas collaboration with Yohji Yamamoto.

Remember, though, that this is by no means an exhaustive list. If you’ve not found your sense of style and you still live in whatever is clean and comfy when you wake up 4 hours late for your 9AM and you’re trying to salvage what’s left of the day, that’s fine too. Take your time: experiment with different styles and try so many different things - style is a journey, not a destination. It is evolving and growing with you. If you think you’ve a unique style, or if you have any questions on fashion you’d like us to answer, then send an email to fashion@uccexpress.ie.

Humour

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Politics: Taoiseach contracts conjunctivitis following repeated licking of America’s arse

New Evidence Suggests Enda Kenny is a Member of the Reptilian Super Race.

Sarah Ryan – Byline Associate Editor.

Science: Studies show 72% of people take headlines featuring statistics more seriously Lifestyle: Non-coeliac insists going gluten-free has some sort of benefit News: You’ll never guess who’s after dying, according to a phone call with your Nan Student Life: Rising number of reports of female students who “must be freezin’” on nights out

We’ve long known Enda Kenny is a snake, but recently experts have claimed that there is newfound evidence suggesting that An Taoiseach may, in fact, be part of the alien super-race: the Reptilians.

Literature: “First They Wouldn’t Buy Your Diamonds, Now They’re Not Buying Your Bullshit: The Middle-Aged White Man’s Guide to Arguing with Millennials” on sale now

This evidence comes in light of the Taoiseach congratulating Donald J. Trump on his winning of the U.S Presidential Election last Wednesday. In his statement, Kenny congratulated Trump and said he believed that relations between the U.S and Ireland “would continue to prosper.” Upon saying this, Minister Leo Varadkar allegedly noticed that the Taoiseach began to blink sideways as his pupils seemed to become slitted & reptile-like, before quickly changing back to their original form.

Society: 11,000 US citizens who voted for Harambe encouraged to face the corner and think about what they’ve done

This event is said to be Kenny’s way of secretly communicating with his fellow Reptilian counterpart, Trump, that the beginnings of the alien race’s global dictatorship is well underway. The Reptilians’ desire for world domination has long been known, and President Trump’s election is a sure re-

TV Listings RTÉ One, Friday @ 8PM: The national broadcaster presents “That’s So Relatable!” featuring one full hour of college students screaming into the abyss

sult of Reptilian interference with global politics in order to achieve this goal. I mean, how else could an openly racist, [alleged] sexual predator rise to one of the most powerful positions in the world?

“his callous, dismissive attitude & opinions towards topics such as women’s bodily autonomy and civil servants having fair wages being dead giveaways” Theories about Kenny’s Reptilian identity have been circulating for quite some time now; his callous, dismissive attitude & opinions towards topics such as women’s bodily autonomy and civil servants having fair wages being dead giveaways. In a 2015 statement, An Taoiseach declared that he didn’t believe in “abortion on demand;” Reptilians commonly have more of an affinity with technology than with people,

which explains why the Taoiseach refers to the choice to undergo a difficult medical procedure as though it is something similar to choosing a show to watch on your Sky+ box.

These days there are an increasing number of reports of celebrities and politicians alike being ‘outed’ as members of the Reptilian super race. It’s scary to think we are so surrounded by these fearsome creatures, but, in a world where we may be soon enslaved, there is comfort to be found: with members of the Reptilians allegedly including celebs like Beyoncé, Jay-Z and Kanye West, hopefully Enda knows that not only is he a shit politician, but he’s probably one of the shittest members the Reptilians have got too.

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HUMOUR Editor - Sarah Ryan Interrailing? Sit Yourselves Down, Sixth Years.

Sarah Ryan - Byline Associate Editor Recently, I was having a chat with one of my younger cousins about the depressing slog that is now her life. She’s in sixth year, and the conversation centred on the usual woes - higher level maths, Sylvia Plath, and how shite the ‘sraith pictiúrs’ are. Eventually, we got on to the good stuff like prospective college courses, the debs and, of course, the sixth year holiday. That was what I really wanted to get to. I couldn’t wait to pass on the same sage advice that had been passed on through our family for generations (sort of) about how to survive the pisssoaked paradise that is Magaluf. And so, before I launched into the finer details, like where to find the best kebab place on the strip (something that tastes equally okay coming up as going down is what you’re looking for), I thought I better actually ask her first where she was thinking of going, just in case she’d decided to go to Ponsa. I

was prepared for that.

As it turns out, I was not prepared for what was to come next. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, I felt the same unmistakeable dread and horror that my mother had felt when I’d told her that I was going to Maga. My little cousin is going interrailing.

Following the dread, I immediately felt pity for her. Oh, all of the wonders that she is going to miss out on. A myriad of different European countries, the chance to meet other international travellers and memories that will last a lifetime? I’ll take what is essentially Cork on a sunny Spanish island, creepy English lads and nights where the only thing you remember is that last jaëgerbomb you got off an exploited little person in Coco Bongos, thanks.

I know, it sounds bad, but I mean this sin-

cerely: Magaluf is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. When else are you going to be able to go on such a beautifully shameful banger after a year of horrendously hard work? When else are going to be able to get sick off the side the boat that they actually used in The Inbetweeners Movie? Magaluf is a cultural melting pot: French, Italian, heroin addicts, Scots - all together in a true utopia. A place where there’s so much love, there’s always someone willing to get your name tattooed on their arse.

Sixth years, I know interrailing sounds like the more appealing choice; I know

you want the hip instagrams and the stories of swimming in Lake Bled with some Czech guys under the moonlight. I know smoking along a canal in Amsterdam with all your friends sounds cool, but if you didn’t get your weed off of a lucky, lucky man and it doesn’t smell like deodorant, is it really your 6th year holiday?

edged towards the front door, which Mr. McCarthy was guarding while they spoke on his doorstep. When approached for a statement explaining herself, Ciara had the following to say:

would consider overly milky. The stress of being forced by social convention to wear pants while greeting visitors has also taken its toll, with Mr. McCarthy claiming that he felt unduly restricted in his own home. Moreover, there were dirty dishes in the sink, and he claims he “saw Ciara looking at them.”

The visit, according to Ciara, was “very pleasant” and she even had the cheek to thank John for his “generosity” in letting her stay and chat for three quarters of an hour, as if she hadn’t single-handedly destroyed his faith in humanity by doing so. Mr McCarthy has been lying down in an effort to collect his thoughts since the incident.

“Well, I’ve moved back from Galway for a few weeks, and I hadn’t seen John in so long, so I thought I’d call in to him for a cup of tea and a catch-up. I always used to call to his house when we were younger.”

Local man has to lie down after friend ‘pops by’ unexpectedly Lauren Mulvihill - Byline Editor

A local man has had to lie down for a bit following a home visit from a friend, who thought it would be a “nice idea” to show up without any warning.

John McCarthy, 22, who lives in the Mardyke area, was left ‘shook’ after a childhood friend arrived on his doorstep, unannounced, on Tuesday afternoon. The friend in-question proceeded to make small talk and, according to John, pressure him into inviting them inside for “a cup of tea and a chat.”

“Without being melodramatic about it, it was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” Mr. McCarthy revealed to members of this publication, “I mean, not only did they not warn me, but they rang the doorbell three times while I was putting my pants on.”

The friend in question was Ciara Vincent, also 22, a recent graduate of NUI Galway and former primary school classmate of John’s. According to reports, Ms. Vincent seemed completely oblivious to her social faux-pas, and even slowly

“Of course we used to call to each other’s houses unannounced in the late 90s,” Mr. McCarthy countered, “but nowadays, frankly, it’s a barbaric practice from a bygone era. We have phones now; and the internet. There’s no excuse for not letting someone know when you’re in the area, so they can choose whether they want to see you or not. That’s called ‘common decency’.”

John also lamented having to give up his “last bit” of milk so that Ciara could have a cup of tea, and has considered suing for damages, specifically those inflicted on his right to enjoy a cup of tea most

Sixth years, sit yourselves down. Get to BCM, down a shoulder of Rushkinoff, shift some Scottish lads at a Tinie Tempah concert, and enjoy yourselves. The trains can wait.

Fiction

28

28

FICTION Editor - Sophie Mckenzie

Backstage pass

By Claire O’Mahoney

I need a backstage pass To get behind your scenes To explore what lights you up And turns you on.

I need to know what brings You laughter What causes you upset What feels to you Disaster.

And if I had that pass There’d be no mystery, Your life would be Just that.

So keep your backstage pass I’ll sit out front Applaud your ups And cry at downs Or just be there.

And yet, that’s not enough.

I want to interact, Share energy, I want to be a kind of gravity That changes you The way you Do Me.

Interring Word

By Tadhgh George O’Mahoney

The darkness pools around me;

In the hollowness of night,

A viscous, shadowed cloak that absorbs all but

when all is more real than it should be,

my loneliness.

she was the warmth that mellowed my qualms.

I am certain to drown unless she wrench me

Now, I clutch for something to hold

from myself.

as fear pulls me deeper underground, brandishing my body with lead weights.

She, who slashed the blackness with great welts of light.

How pitifully poetic one becomes

With her merest of touches she could silence the

when left with just themselves.

demons

It’s as if the heart puts everything into its dying

that twisted my every thought.

cries.

The music of a martyred soul.

food

2929

FOOD Editor - Xander Cosgrave

TIPS

Super easy Lamb curry Xander Cosgrave - Food Editor Prep time: 30 min.

Cooking time: 45 min+ What you need A knife and board.

A pot.

Ingredients.

1 tablespoon of Turmeric 1 tablespoon of coriander seeds 1 tablespoon of cumin seeds 1 teaspoon of chilli powder 1 tablespoon of paprika (Or you can just use a few tablespoons of curry powder or paste.)

2 tablespoons of olive oil.

3 medium onions.

5 cloves of garlic.

2 bell peppers.

One thumb sized piece of ginger, or a tablespoon of powdered ginger.

1 Kilo of Diced lamb. (Lamb Laps or shoulder works best here, and are a cheap cuts, though you have to dice them yourself, otherwise diced or stewing lamb is available in all supermarkets) 2 400 gram cans of chopped tomatoes Salt & Pepper Optional extras 1 400 gram can of chick peas.

Fresh coriander Apples Fresh chillies.

4-6 servings, for "Normal people" I don't judge, I can eat a lot of curry.

So easy a Lamb could make it, and those guys are dumb. And they don’t have opposable thumbs.

1. Finely chop your onion, garlic and ginger. If you want to add fresh chillies, chop them up now as well. If you don’t want too much spice, take the seeds out, otherwise, leave them in.

Roughly chop your bell peppers.

leave it to simmer. If you want to add some sweetness to your curry, you can grate in an apple or two for flavour now. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper over it and taste the curry, seasoning it more to your own taste.

2. If you’re not using the curry powder or paste, heat up the oil in the pan until it’s almost smoking and toss in your spices, toasting them for a minute, then turn off the heat and add your onions, garlic, ginger and peppers. If you are using curry paste or powder, heat up the oil in the pan and add your veg first, then mix in the curry powder once they’ve started to brown.

5. Unless the chunks of lamb are really big, your curry should be ready to eat in about 45 minutes, but the longer you can leave it, the better it will be, an hour and a half to two hours is great. If it’s sticking a lot or getting a bit dry, you can just add some water, or if you have some, a little coconut milk.

3. Once your vegetables are starting to brown, throw in your lamb and turn the heat up a little. You want to cook your diced lamb until it’s brown on the outside. Keep stirring it around to make sure that it gets coated in the spices as well.

4. Once your lamb is browned off, add your two cans of tomatoes. If you want to add chickpeas, drain them off and add them now as well. Stir it occasionally to make sure it doesn’t stick and

6. Serve your curry with some rice or naan bread, and sprinkle some fresh coriander over it to make it look a little cooler and taste Legit Fresh. (Yeah I use legit in print. Fight me)

You can make this a vegan curry by taking out the lamb and adding an extra onion, a can of chickpeas, another pepper and some lentils or split peas.

Once you’ve added everything, the hard work is done, you can just check it occasionally so it doesn’t stick, but if you’ve got a pot with a lid that can go in the oven, you can stick it in there for two hours at a hundred and fifty degrees and forget about it.

Literally, to make half this amount of curry, just add the same amount of spice and half the other ingredients.

You can take out the lamb and add any other meat, as long as it’s also diced. Lamb is just super tasty.

This is kind-of like a Madras, but not as spicy because Madras’ are HELLA Spicy.

30

ISSUE 05 | UCC SExpress

31

SEX MYTH OR FACT? “Most people with STI’s don’t get symptoms”

Bedroom Barriers Sexpresss Editor

The last two weeks there has been lots of talk about barriers, and yes I’m referring to that huge wall that Trump has threatened to build, but some other barriers rarely get spoken about.

When we talk about safe sex we only seem to talk about condoms, when in reality safe sex is about all the other barriers. Things like gloves (yes those plastic gloves), dental dams, diaphragms, internal condoms, all the hormonal birth control (the pill, the

patch, IUDs, Emergency Contraception etc.), vaccines, getting tested and getting treated, being emotionally comfortable, checking in on your partner, safe words, adapting to other people’s physical needs, listening, understanding your own body and understanding someone else’s.

Being safe doesn’t have to be a barrier and you don’t have to follow one set of standards and rules; through learning and sex education you can both empower yourself

and others to act in your best interests to make informed decisions.

If you have any interest in writing for the Sexpress, whether you want to tell people how to make a dental dam from a condom, your feminist theory of pornography, or about your experience with sex toys, email sexpress@uccexpress.ie. We look forward to hearing from you.

do? I have no plans on getting pregnant, so it's fine. Do I tell him?

Ask Sexpress

Send questions to sexpress@uccexpress.ie, or go to uccexpress.ie/sexpress I just got diagnosed with an std, should I tell the people I have recently slept with even though we used protection?

As awkward as it may be, it is probably for the best. I don’t know what STI you have contracted, but certain ones such as gonorrhea can have massive effects on fertility if left untreated. You will be doing the right thing if you tell them. Best of luck.

To whom it may concern, So I'm riding a girl whose vagina is really small, like, "can't fit a finger in there" small. As much as I'd love to put it down to my "massive cock" it's not that, it must be her vag.

I want to be as supportive as possible, and I obviously don't want to do something that hurts her or makes her uncomfortable, but what can I do?

Have you tried lube? Seriously, do it, try it.

Don’t use anything oil based, like baby oil

or Vaseline because they can change the effectiveness of condoms, but anything else is good. Try other positions, her on top for starters. It might be worth asking her how she feels or if she has any suggestions? It could also be something medical, so if it persists it may be time go to the doctor.

Hi, I've been going out with this boy for a while now (we met in Chambers) and its been going well so far. I met his parents for the first time after a few months and I thought they looked familiar.

But I figured I had just seen them about town.

Then I brought him home last week and my granny looked shocked. She told me later, turns out we're distant cousins!

Only me and my granny know, and it's not really hurting anyone, so what do I

Firstly, are you the girl from last week’s question? Secondly, it really depends on how distantly related you are and how uncomfortable that makes you. If you don’t see yourself with this person in the future is it worth staying with them now? How would you feel if your parents found out? Is it worth it? Again, I don’t know how closely related you are, but you questioning it makes it seem like you are uncertain about continuing the relationship. You have some thinking to do.

My friend thinks she might be pregnant but won't go get a test, I'm really worried about her, what should I do?

Pregnancy scares can be very worrying, the right thing you can do is support her to the best of your ability. Maybe she is scared to buy the test herself, if so, you could offer to to buy it for her? It can be a scary time and often the person is afraid of knowing the answer, but in the long run you’re better off knowing sooner rather than later as you will have more options.

Fact! Studies have shown that most people don’t know they have an STI. Herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia and hpv more often don’t present any symptoms. So just because you don’t experience any itching, pussing, oozing or any other stereotypical symptom, does not mean that you are safe.

If any of this worries you, you can get tested for free at the Student Health Services on College Road.

Hurrah.

“Bisexual people cannot be committed in a monogamous relationship” Not only is this hurtful and biphobic, it is also very untrue. There has always been myths that being bisexual makes you greedy and being attracted to more than one gender means you are more likely to cheat. This is a complete myth.

A person’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with their ability to be monogamous.

“Men can orgasm without ejaculating “ This is entirely true, and is commonly known as a ‘dry orgasm’.

Often this can be due to certain illnesses and injuries but people with strong kegel muscles or those who are involved with the ancient eastern practice of Tantric sex can stop ejaculation. In fact those who practice tantric sex can apparently have multiple orgasms and decide when they want to ejaculate.

32

GAEILGE

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

Mé féin is an tumoideachas

Aoife Nic Gearailt – Eagarthóir Gaeilge

Séard is brí leis an tumoideachas ná oideachas a chur ort i dteanga éagsúil ó theanga ofiigiúl de do thír. I’m chás féin, d’fhreastlaíos ar Ghaelscoileanna, ó a rabhas ceithre bhliain d’aois, go dtí go raibh m’Ardteist cuirthe i gcríoch agam. Ní fheadfainn a rá gur thaitin sé liom an t-am ar fad, mar ní bheinn ach ag cruthú íomha idéalach is falsa. Ó am go chéile, bhíos feargach lem thuistí, gur theastaigh uathu an bealach oideachasúil seo a leanúint, gan ceadúnas a fháil uaimse, an páiste de ceithre bhliain

d’aois, nach raibh in ann a hainm féin fiú a scríobh. Fuaireas amach le deanaí gur sheoladar mé ar gaelscoil de bharr gurb é an scoil ba chóngairí dúinn, ní mar gur rabhadar Gaeilgóirí paiseanta - foirfe. An pian sin go léir all to do with cúiseanna geografach.

Eascraíonn an tromlach de mo chuid cuimhní is seoige as an bhfíric go rabhas ag freastal ar Ghaelscoil. Ní raibh faic níos sceitimíneach ná tráthnóna Dé hAoine i nGaelscoil Uí Ríordáin, mo bhunscoil.

Chuile seachain, bronnadh an duais “Cainteoir na Seachtaine” ar dalta i chuile rang. Ní fhada a mhair an cóisir nuair a thosn-

TG4 ag scórail ag scór bliain d’aois

iomaí clár is scannán, trí Bhéarla, a bhfuil athghuthú déanta orthu, ar nós Harry Potter. Ní amháin sin ach bíonn sé de chead ag TG4 na cláranna HBO a chraoladh ar dtús, roimh aon staisiún´Éireannach nó Breatanach eile. Fad is a raibh Breaking Bad á chraoladh, bhí sé de chead ag TG4 é a thaispéaint, fad is a raibh an clár á thaifead.

Michael D. Higgins óráid ag an searmanas, bomaite substantúil dó, de bharr gurb é siúd a raibh ina Aire Ealaíne, Cultúir agus Gaeltachta nuair a bhunaíodh an staisiún. Luaigh Uachtarán NUIG na Gaillimhe go bhfuil dluthnasc idir Éire, go stairiúil agus an Quad mar suíomh, agus go bhfuil an ceangal áirithe do-sholéir le fheicéal iontu. “In many ways, the Quad is a living metaphor of the nation’s journey and an atmospheric and symbolic location. It is the foundation site of a pioneering intellectual endeavour and for over 170 years our University has demonstrated a history of engagement with the region, nation and wider world,” a dúirt Dr Jim Browne, Uachtarán na hOllscoile.

Chéiliúradar an 20ú breithlá de TG4 ar Oíche Shamhna díreach imithe le clár dhá uair a chloig darb ainm, TG4XX Beo. D’fhócas an clár mórthimpeall ar na traidisiún ársa agus todhchaí na tíre. Líonadh an clár le meascán ilghnéitheach de rincí, comhrá, amhráin agus grupaí ceoil, ar nós Prodijig, Máirtín O’Connor and the Big Band, Pólca 4 agus scairt cóir Gaelinne. Thug Uachtarán

Is léir donach bhfuil TG4 ag dul in olcas, cé mar atá i mbeal an phobail. Deirtear nach mairfidh an staisiún go gceann i bhfad agus nach ach le hadhaigh margadh “niche” agus is léir nahc é sin an cás leis na cláranna idirnáisiunta agus líon na fairseoigrí a bhíonn de shíor ag síormheadú. Fé mar a deirtear, ní thagann ciall roimh aois, agus níl TG4 ach fós ina óige.

Aoife Nic Gearailt – Eagarthóir Gaeilge

Ó a bhunaíodh an staisiún ar an deireadh lá de mhí Dheireadh Fhómhair 1996, níl ach an taon staisiún a chraolann go bhformhór trí mhéan na Gaelinne, TG4, ach ag dul i bhfeabhas lá i ndiadh lae.

I 1993, nuair a bhunaidh an chomhrialtas Phartaí Glas agus Partaí na Lucht Oibre, agus bunaíodh TnaG, faoi mar a ghlaotar ar TG4 roimh 1999. Tugadh an fhreagract do Michael D. Higgins, Aire Ealaíne, Cultúir agus Gaeltachta ag an am sin. Tháining an Comhrialtas Bogadh Baistí (Rainbow Coalition) i gcumhacht ina ndiadh agus is iad siúd a bhunaidh TG4 sa bhliain 1994. Ó a thosnaíodar á chraoladh, d’fhás líon na fairgseoirí ó 250,000 i 1996 go dtí breis is 650,000 i láthair na huaire, gan fiú líon na ndaoine a bhaineann leas as an TG4 Player ar líne.

Is iomaí clár a bhíonn á chraoladh ag TG4, meascán idir cláranna iasachta, Éireannacha agus iad siúd de bhuiséad iseal.

Táthar tar éis a gcláracha féinigh a léiriú comh maith, ar nós Aifric (2006-2007), Seó Spóirt (2007 ar aghaidh), Glór Tíre (20022009) is Ros na Rún (Ó 1999 ar aghaidh). Is

Fuair an buaiteoir an deis dul thíos chuig Oifig Gabriel, an príomhoide, agus a bheith á plé leis thar an idircom. Ó a thiarthas, ní raibh faic faoin spéir a mbeadh in ann do shaol a mhilleadh agus tú tar éis a bheith ag caint, le Gabriel, ar an idircom. Anuas ar sin, bronnadh teastas ar Cainteoir na Seachtaine agus fuaireadar corn le coiméad ar faidh na deireadh seachtaine. Agus ní chuireadh stop leis an gcraic ansin, ó no!

Fuair tú pas Obair Bhaile Saor, and I’m telling you, ní bheadh aon rud níos fearr ná an pas sin a úsáid cibé oíche a theastaigh uait.

aigh mé sa mhéanscoil agus bhuaileas le coincheap nua - Coiméad. Ó a bheith ag spalpadh Béarla taobh thiar de dhroimeanna na múinteoirí, an leabhar déarg do choiméad. An leabhar sin, a thiarthas, an leabhar a raibh níos scanrúil ná Trump ag buachaint an toghchán. Is cuimhin liom ar nós gur inné a tharla sé - Iníon Ní Chonaill, leas múinteoir i bhfeighil ar an meanscoil a d’fhreastlaíos Gaelcholáiste Choilm.

Bíodh sí de shíor ag slíbhín mórthimpeall na scoile ag iarraidh duine ar bith a chuir sa leabhar coiméad dearg sin. Tharla coiméad chuile am lóin tráthnóna Dé hAoine i G6, ar na tarna úrlár den Gaelcholáiste.

Seomra bréa geal le radharc aoibheann ar Astroturf na scoile. Foirfe is idéalach nach ea? Táimse féin ceann des na daoine a raibh t-adh an domhain acu. Níor chuireadh m’ainm riamh sa leabhar coiméad - scil a oireann don CV! Sampla is ea é an Matamatic Ardléibheal don Ardteist do rud a mba chóir go mbeadh mídhleathach. Taobh liom.

Molaim an tumoideachas go hard, go huile agus go hiomlán. I ndairire, nuair a thosnaigh mé i UCC, thóg sé roinnt am dom dul i dtaithí ar a bheith ag freastal ar leachtanna trí Bhéarla. Bhíos comh sáite sin sa tumoideachas nár thugas faoi deara cé comh eagsúil is atá sé. Níl teorann leis na buntaistí a ghabhann leis an tumoideachas agus ní bheidh an rogha ag mo pháistí ach le freastal ar scoil iltheangach!

10 Focail Student Centre Áras na mac Léinn Radio station Staisiún radió Meeting Cruinniú Notice board Clár fógraí Couch Tolg Nap Néal, locadh, suanán I'm off for a nap in the Student Centre Táim chun buaileadh ar aghaidh agus néal a ligeant in Áras na mac Léinn Can I pay with my student card?

An bhfuilim in ann íoc le mo charta aitheantas?

Sandwich Ceapaire Coffee Café

33

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34

PHOTOS

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

Photos courtesy of Emmet Curtin Photography

PHOTOS

35

36

SPORT

Club Training Times:

For more up-to-date listings, including additional training times, go to sport.ucc.ie/ timetable

Mondays:

Aikido

Badminton Basketball Boxing

Chess Cricket Dance (Beginner Jazz) Darts

Fencing In-Line Hockey Judo Kickboxing Mountaineering Powerlifting Rowing (indoor) Rugby (Ladies) Soccer (Ladies) Squash Waterpolo Tae-Kwon-Do Tennis Trampoline Ultimate Frisbee

Tuesdays:

Athletics Dance (Beginner Irish) Juggling & Acrobalance JuJutsu Karate Kung Fu Olympic Handball Olympic Weightlifting Powerlifting Rugby (Mens) Soccer (Mens) Sub Aqua Swimming Volleyball

Hall 2, Mardyke Arena - 4:30pm Hall 2 & Hall 3, Mardyke Arena - 6pm Hall 2, Mardyke Arena - 8:30pm Studio 7, Mardyke Arena - 8:30pm Aras na Laoi, G18 - 6:30pm PBC Sports Hall - 6pm Studio 7, Mardyke Arena - 7:30pm New Bar, UCC - 7pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 7pm PBC Sports Hall - 8pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 8:30pm Hall 3, Mardyke Arena - 8:30pm Climbing Wall, Mardyke Arena - 8:30pm Elite Squad Gym, Mardyke Arena - 8:30am Studio 7, Mardyke Arena - 4pm Squad Gym, Mardyke Arena - 7:30am Synthetic Pitch, Mardyke - 8pm Mardyke Arena - 7:10pm Mardyke Arena Pool - 10:30pm Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 8pm Sundays Well Tennis Club - 7pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 5pm Synthetic Pitch, Mardyke - 4pm

Wednesdays:

Archery Aussie Rules Basketball Canoe Cricket Dance (Beginner Hip- hop) Equestrian Kickboxing Motorcycle Soccer (Ladies) Table Tennis

Thursdays:

Aikido Dance (Advanced Jazz) Fencing Juggling & Acrobalance JuJutsu Karate Kung Fu Powerlifting Rugby (Mens) Swimming Trampoline & Gymnastics Weiqi (Go Club)

Fridays: Mardyke Arena Running Track - 6pm Studio 4, Mardyke Arena - 7:30pm Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 9pm Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 7:30pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 6pm Studio 5, Mardyke Arena - 8pm Hall 1, 2 & 3, Mardyke Arena - 4pm Elite Squad Gym, Mardyke Arena - 3pm Elite Squad Gym - 5pm The Farm, Curraheen Road - 6pm Synthetic Pitch, Mardyke - 4pm Mardyke Arena Pool - 10:30pm Mardyke Arena Pool - 7pm Halls 2 & 3, Mardyke Arena - 6pm

Boxing Canoe Dance (Mixed Piece) Olympic Handball Ultimate Frisbee

Weekends:

Badminton Fencing Judo Karate Rowing

Waterpolo Tae-Kwon-Do

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

Electrical Engineering L1 - 7pm The Farm, Curraheen Road - 6:30pm Hall 3, Mardyke Arena - 7pm Mardyke Arena Pool - 10:30pm PBC Sports Hall - 6pm Studio 4, Mardyke Arena - 8:30pm Mardyke Arena Track - 7pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 7pm Workshop, Cooperage (North Mall) - 7:30pm The Farm, Curraheen Road - 6:30pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 5pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 4:30pm Studio 7, Mardyke Arena - 8pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 7:30pm Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 9pm Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 7:30pm Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 6pm Studio 5, Mardyke Arena - 8pm Elite Squad Gym - 5pm The Farm, Curraheen Road - 6pm Mardyke Arena Pool - 7pm Hall 2, Mardkye Arena - 4:30pm ORB 1.01 - 7pm Studio 7, Mardyke Arena - 5pm Club Shed, Mardyke - 2:30pm Studio 7, Mardyke Arena - 9pm Hall 1, 2 & 3, Mardyke Arena - 5pm Hall 1, 2 & 3, Mardyke Arena - 3pm Hall 3, Mardyke Arena - 12pm, Saturday Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 4pm, Saturday Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 2pm, Sunday Hall 1, Mardyke Arena - 2pm, Saturday National Rowing Centre, Farran Woods (8am, Saturday & Sunday) Mardyke Arena Pool - 7pm, Sunday Studio 1, Mardyke Arena - 2pm, Saturday

SPORT

ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

UCC Sports Day a Huge Success Darragh Walsh - Deputy Sports Editor On Wednesday 2nd November you may have noticed a flurry of excitement and action throughout the campus, as the clubs of UCC all joined together to host the inaugural UCC Sports Day. The day was held to raise funds for CUH Charity Children’s Appeal – the charity partners of UCC. It was a huge success from start to finish, as the day was blessed by fantastic weather, adding to atmosphere provided by the members of every club; the perfect weather truly getting everyone into the spirit of the day. All activities took place in the Amphitheatre and in the surrounding area, and most of the funds

raised for the charity were raised through the bake sale, which was also hosted by the clubs, as well as some volunteers.

Vice President of the Clubs Executive Gráinne Ryan was the driving force behind this project, an effort that deserves massive mention and congratulations, as getting all the events to run as smoothly as they did was no easy task. Speaking to Gráinne afterwards she said “the day was a great success, especially considering it was the first year to run the event.

Hopefully it is something that can grow bigger in the coming years. There was a lot of different clubs represented on campus for the event, which was fantastic, and helped to raise money for our Charity Partner, CUH Charity Children’s Appeal.”

A special mention is in order to the following clubs: Trampoline, Rowing, Fencing, Kick-boxing, Basketball, Orienteering, Women’s Soccer, Squash, Dance (Irish, Jazz and Contemporary), Motor Cycle and Mountaineering, all of which came up with great ideas for events on the day and their participation throughout the day is greatly appreciated.

the Dundalk man.

Extra time for both sides was a tense affair; Daryl Horgan and Ronan Finn attacked well, but neither really tested Mark McNulty in goal. As penalties loomed, City ran the line for one last attack.

Maguire on Fire as City Clinch Cup Dylan O’Connell - Sports Editor

Star Striker Sean Maguire was the hero for Cork City FC as they claimed a slim 1-0 victory over league Champions Dundalk in the 2016 Irish Daily Mail FAI Cup final in the Aviva Stadium.

Both sides headed into last weekend’s showpiece final on the back of mixed seasons. With Dundalk FC resting second in their group in the UEFA Europa League, and being League Champions; the Lilywhites were in search of a rare Double-Double, while the Rebel Army were hoping to avenge both last year’s cup final loss, and the defeat in the league last October, which confined Cork City to second in the table. UCC had a number of connections to both sides, with former UCC manager John Caulfield looking for his first piece of silverware as City boss, while former UCC students Daryl Horgan (Dundalk) and Cork City’s Michael McSweeney, as well as current student John Kavanagh, were all on the field.

It was the defending champions who would set the tone early on, with Dundalk’s midfield linking up well through Stephen O’Donnell and Chris Shields early on. Chances were few and far between for both sides, until Dar-

yl Horgan was played through by Irish teammate Andy Boyle, but his volley went well wide of the net, finding its place among the Cork City fans. City responded well, with passing between Gary Buckley and Karl Sheppard could find Sean Maguire, though he could not force a shot. The best of the chances fell to Dundalk’s David McMillan who unleashed a venomous shot at Mark McNulty, who had to make an excellent save to keep it out of the goal.

At half time both sides where level; a position mirroring the 2015 FAI Cup final to the minute.

City started off the second half with the same blood and thunder performance which saw the side to second place in the league; pressure from City early on saw a Kevin O’Connor corner finding Alan Bennett, who had his header fought away from the Dundalk goal line.

Dundalk countered from here, with ‘Man of the Match’ Ronan Finn’s cross finding Ciarán Kilduff, but his header fell just wide of the post.

The best chance for either side in the second half came to 19 year-old Edozie Ogbene, who was played through to a 1-on1 challenge with keeper Gary Rogers, but the winger’s effort was well saved by

Winger Steven Beattie’s long throw found Sean Maguire in the penalty spot: silence fell over the Aviva, as the Irish International hit the ball; spinning, it deflected off John Mountney and fizzed into the back of the net – City were ahead at the death. Following three years of second best, an explosion of ecstasy hit the City bench, with the full squad all running on to the pitch, with the fans going wild in the stands.

Dundalk tried to respond, but the referee blew for full-time before anything meaningful could be created. Full time Score: Cork City 1-0 Dundalk, and the Rebel Army’s first FAI Cup win since 2007.

Teams: Cork City: Mark McNulty; Steven Beattie, Alan Bennett, Kenny Browne, Kevin O’Connor; Gearoid Morrissey (Colin Healy 99), Greg Bolger (Mark O’Sullivan 95), Garry Buckley; Karl Sheppard (Chiedozie Ogbene 78), Sean Maguire, Stephen Dooley.

Dundalk: Gary Rogers; Sean Gannon, Brian Gartland, Andy Boyle, Dane Massey; Chris Shields (John Mountney 55), Stephen O’Donnell; Patrick McEleney (Dean Shiels 77), Ronan Finn, Daryl Horgan; David McMillan (Ciaran Kilduff 79).

Attendance: 26,400.

Referee: Rob Rogers.

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UCC Clubs Round Up

Dylan O’Connell - Sports Editor Sailing: UCC1 continued their excellent season at the IUSA Easterns, taking first place in Gold fleet. Gold fleet UCC1 went undefeated in the events, even against stiff competition from TCD, UCD and two other UCC teams.

Meanwhile there was much else to celebrate, as UCC2 finished in second place in Gold fleet, coming second to their team mates UCC1. The winning ways continued for the College, as UCC5 finished in third place in Gold fleet, losing only to UCC1 and UCC2.

There were some upsets, as Silver fleet was won by both TCD4 and TCD5, after both teams won the same amount of races.

Attention now turns to the IUSA westerns and IUSA Intervarsities after Christmas.

Ultimate Frisbee: History was made for UCC Ultimate Frisbee, as they became the first team to win five consecutive indoor intervarsity trophies.

Hockey: It was a week of mixed form for both UCC Men and Women’s hockey, with a number of disappointing results for the Leesiders. UCC men were defeated narrowly by Limerick on a scoreline of 3-4 in the Munster Senior League, while UCC ‘B’ also tasted defeat at the hands Galway in Division 3 on again a tight margin of 1:2. There was some positivity, as the Women’s Hockey team defeated Waterford 4:2 in the Women’s Senior League, and again UCC won 2-0 against Blackrock in the Division 5 league. Finally UCC, were beaten also beaten 0:4 by Fermoy in the Division 6 league to round off the results.

Rugby: UCC Men’s Senior Rugby stumbled to a narrow defeat of 10-6 against Naas in the Ulster Bank Division 1B last weekend. There was room for optimism, however, as Kevin O’Keeffe kicked two penalties for the Leesiders in a fine display in Kildare.

Fencing: Last weekend UCC held the Schull Tournament at the Mardyke Arena UCC, with the Leesiders claiming an impressive second place finish in the Women’s foil to round off the weekend’s events.

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ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

McGregor Makes History - UFC 205 Report Rob O’Sullivan - Editor-In-Chief

UFC 205, emanating from ‘the World’s Most Famous Arena’ Madison Square Garden in New York, looked to be the biggest night in the history of mixed martial arts.

(For a full report go to uccexpress.ie) The main card opened with a Women’s Bantamweight contest, as former champ Miesha Tate lost to Raquel Pennington. Tate shocked the world as she used her post-fight promo to retire from Mixed Martial Arts, aged 30. Heading into the third round of the men’s Middleweight contest, Yoel Romero’s corner clearly felt Chris Weidman might win should the fight go to decision, as Romero came out swinging, landing a brutal flying-knee, following it up with some unnecessary hard shots on the ground. Romero will face Michael Bisping at a later date. Up next was a Polish dream match for the Women’s Strawweight Championship, as Joanna Jędrzejczyk defeated challenger Karolina Kowalkiewicz by unanimous decision. In the night’s penultimate contest, Stephen ‘Wonderboy’ Thompson challenged Tyron Woodley for his Welterweight title. Woodley dragged Thompson to the ground in the first, grinding away on Thompson, splitting his nose open with an elbow. A cagey fight indeed, with both fighters showing great respect for each other. It ended in bizarre fashion, as announcer Bruce Buffer incorrectly called it a win by split decision for Woodley, when in fact it was a ‘majority draw’. Woodley retain the title regardless.

Then it was time for the main event. ‘The Notorious One’ hoped to become the first fighter in UFC history to simultaneously hold two championship titles from two divisions in this fight. McGregor dropped Alvarez thrice early in the first, with that big lift hand of McGregor shocking Alvarez every time. Alvarez recovered well, but the round was clearly McGregor’s, should the fight go to decision. In the second round Alvarez looked to go takedown McGregor, but Conor’s TD defence has come on leaps & bounds in the last year. Sensing he was ahead, at one point Conor put both of his hands behind his back, really starting those ‘mind-games’. Alvarez tried to hold McGregor against the cage, but Conor broke out and, with less than two minutes to go in the second round, Conor unleashed a flurry of hands, knocking Alvarez to the ground and finishing him.

Conor McGregor is your new UFC Lightweight Champion, making history in the process. McGregor refused to confirm or deny that he would drop either of his belts in the post-fight promo, but it’s likely that UFC will strip him of his Featherweight belt.

Murray Reaches New Heights Chris McCahill- News Editor Andy Murray becomes the 26th player to reach the No. 1 spot in the Emirates ATP Rankings, and the oldest first-time number 1 since John Newcombe achieved the feat at 30 years of age in June 1974.

It’s been over 7 years since he first reached the No.2 spot back in August 2009, a spot he has occupied on seven different occasions, amassing a total of 76 weeks in second position. In reaching the final of the BNP Paribas Masters final in Paris he has also reached the pinnacle of his sport.

Murray’s assent in his 12th season as a Pro has showed both his perseverance and the extent of the efforts he has made to improve himself, mentally and physically.

In what is being hailed as a golden era for men’s tennis, led by the dominance of the ‘Big 4’ for the past 13 years: Federer, Nadal, Djokovic and of course Murray himself.

It now means that every member of the ‘Big Four’, Federer (302 weeks), Djokovic (223 weeks), Nadal (141 weeks) and Murray – has attained the top spot in the Emirates ATP Rankings. Murray’s climb to the no. 1 spot has been in

Top Honours For UCC GAA Dylan O’Connell - Sports Editor

Earlier this month the 2016 GAA All Stars were announced, and a number of former & current UCC students received recognition for their sporting successes in 2016.

UCC pHD students Pamela and Katrina Mackey were awarded an All Star for camogie, while alumnus Orla Cotter also received the much coveted award.

Meanwhile UCC alumni Jamie Bar-

ry and Jamie Barron (Tipperary) were awarded for their 2016 Munster and All Ireland Championship successes.

Meanwhile Kerry duo Paul Geaney and Michael Quinlan were commended for their 2016 season, which saw the Kingdom pair win the Munster Football Championship, as well as reaching the All-Ireland semi-finals.

Focus now returns to club action at UCC, with the Leesiders enjoying a number of successes.

the making for the past 12 months, encompassing consistent strong play. This is shown by his 76-11 match record and seven titles, incl. a second Wimbledon title, out of a possible 11.

Murray will now top the field in the ATP world tour finals, looking for his first victory in the season finale… which he could very well do, considering he is riding a 19-match winning streak after beating John Isner in the Paribas Final.

“Hopefully I can play some good tennis there,” said Murray, “I will take a few days’ break now, and rest up a little bit and get ready for one big push out of the next 10 days.

“The last few years I haven’t played so well there. One year I played really well there and missed out by I don’t know even know what it was in the end, but by a game. And one

Singles - Group John McEnroe [1] Andy Murray (GBR) [3] Stan Wawrinka (SUI) [5] Kei Nishikori (JPN) [7] Marin Cilic (CRO)

The Senior Hurlers qualified for the League quarterfinals, where they will take on LIT on Tuesday the 15th of November in Limerick.

The Freshers footballers have also racked up an impressed win over NUIM of 2-17 to 0-08 to reach the semi-finals of the Freshers A League.

There was some room for upset, however, as the Intermediate Hurlers were beaten 0-14 to 1-22 by UL last week.

The Junior Footballers also tasted defeat to IT Tralee in their league meeting with

of the years I played one of the best matches of the year against Rafa in the semi-finals... I just want to play my best and finish the year on a good note in that respect.”

While Murray is No. 1 heading into the ATP World Tour finals, the race for the Year End No.1 spot is still very much alive, with Djokovic looking to retake his place at the top spot and finish his season on a high. Victory in the World tour finals would guarantee either one the top spot, or indeed a poor showing by Djokovic at the finals could also guarantee the top spot for Murray, as Djokovic is the defending champ. The group draw for the world tour finals were made, with Murray being joined

by Wawrinka, Nishikori and Marin Cilic in group McEnroe, while Djokovic is in Group Lendl, where he will face Raonic, Monfils and Dominic Thiem.

Singles - Group Ivan Lendl [2] Novak Djokovic (SRB) [4] Milos Raonic (CAN) [6] Gael Monfils (FRA) [8] Dominic Thiem (AUT)

a tight margin of 2-8 to 1-14.

Away from the sports field there was also much room for optimism, as a number of intercounty stars were commended with scholarships at the Mardyke Pavilion last Wednesday. Among the list included Orla Cronin, Ian Maguire, Michael Martin, Hannah Looney and Brian Begley.

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ISSUE 05 | UCC Express

Continued From Back Cover... as Noelle Murray stepped up to take the penalty, but didn’t strike the ball properly, allowing keeper Sophie Lenehan to easily gather up the ball with a quick dive to her left. Replays of the challenge that lead to the penalty showed there was very little contact, if any, which may explain why Sinnott was only given a yellow card, despite fouling an ‘in-on-goal’ Kiernan.

Wexford could only keep Shels at bay for another 15 minutes, when Noelle Murray capitalised on the confusion caused by a deflected Courtney Higgins free kick, slotting home the first goal of the day with a wellaimed volley. It would only take 3 minutes until Douglas put a beautiful pass through for Leanne Kiernan, whose first touch took it around the charging keeper, allowing her to easily put it away for Shelbourne’s second goal. Wexford were nearly able to drag one back before the halftime break, as Nicola Sinnott’s curled shot forced a onehand stretching save from the Shelbourne keeper, who did well to not palm it to any of the three unmarked Wexford players in the penalty area. As injury time ticked away, Wexford Youths surely thought they would only have a two goal deficit to deal with in the second half, but a beautiful move from

Shels, including a good long seeking pass from the back, a casual back-heel in midfield and a fantastic through-ball, the latter of which found venerable wunderkind Leanne Kiernan, who calmly put the ball past Lenehan to score her second goal of the day, and Shel’s third.

Despite playing like Accrington Stanley during a dairy farmer strike in the first half, Wexford looked to emulate the Liverpool team of Ataturk fame in the second half by overturning their 3-goal deficit; indeed, they started off well, with some promising chances from set-pieces in the opening minutes. Wexford had a claim for a penalty turned away, as Maria Delahunty’s volley struck a Shelbourne arm, however it was clear that the contact was unintentional.

ing to save Wexford Youths, as Shelbourne soon had their fifth goal from a Leanne Kiernan penalty, which also bagged a hattrick for the 17-year old forward. The call for the penalty was, again, quite questionable, as Jess Gleeson’s challenge on Siobhan Killeen looked to contain no real contact.

Regardless, Shels now had five goals with only 12 minutes to go. Wexford looked to get a consolation goal as Aoibheann Webb put Claire O’Riordan through on goal, but her shot was expertly saved by McQuillan.

Shelbourne simply outclassed Wexford Youths, with the latter clearly showing the loss of several players through injury and suspension, and with the former having two star performances from Leanne Kiernan and Noelle Murray. At present Shels sit top

Dublin footballer’s impressive six Leinster Senior Football Championships in six years, couple with three All Irelands and National League titles in 2013-16; competition in Leinister is fading. In Munster the last team to win the title out-

Teams: Wexford Youths WFC – Lenehan (GK), Sinnott (C), Gleeson, Conlon, A. Walsh (sub: Hutchinson), Frawley, Delahunty (sub: Snell), Hansberry, L. Douglas, Webb, O’Riordan.

Shelbourne – McQuillan (GK), Graham (sub: Craven), N. Walsh, Cooke, Higgins, Kavanagh, Slattery (C), Murray, Killeen (sub: Donnelly), G. Douglas, Kiernan (sub: Watters).

Referee – Deirdre Nolan.

Second-half substitutions could do noth-

Dylan O’Connell - Sports Editor

2016 in the modern era of GAA games; where the globalised model of Sky Sports has captured the game and brought it across the world, the game stutters and stumbles. While hurling remains as the second fastest field sport in the world and football’s hype machine stills the nation every autumn; the competition falters.

of the Continental Tyres League, 4 points ahead of Wexford in the 3rd, with 5 games left to play.

Wexford could only hold Shels back for 19 minutes this time, with Noelle Murray continuing her outrageously good form in putting Siobhán Killeen through in the corner, who then put a great ball in to Gloria Douglas, whose header ricocheted off the crossbar only to be turned into the goal by keeper Lenehan.

Opinion*: The GAA- What’s Next?

Sometimes you need to look at the bigger picture. A major factor in Irish sport is tradition. As a nation of four million people, we love doing it our own way.

Irish people love looking back into the halls of history of what to do next, where to go next. People sit in the same seats in Croke Park, carry on the match tradition through the family. GAA clubs are steeped in tradition. Here in Cork St. Finbarr’s walk down through Bandon Road following every success, Na Piarsaigh have a prayer before every game; GAA nurseries such as Colaíste Chríost Rí have every team announcement in Irish.

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side Cork and Kerry was Clare in 1992 and since then Kerry have dominated the scene and currently going for five Munster Titles in a row; a feat not reached in Munster since the 2000-2005 Kerry team.

The Munster Championship is the only provincial championship with competition stiff between Cork, Waterford, Tipperary and Limerick; with Kerry now rising in the Leinster Championship and through the national leagues.

In the words of Jim McGuinness, “It is obvious to me that the All-Ireland championship needs some kind of shake-up or a new dynamic” to reinvigorate the competition and to breathe life into the game. Former All Ireland winning manager Jim McGuiness claimed a number of solutions with most evidently a top tier system with the top 16 teams playing a , “Champions League” style” following through from the National League to

a knock out system to win Sam Maguire standing out.

It is here where we can regenerate the league and championship. There is a saying around the terraces, “No one cares about the league” and teams throw out experimental teams and results are usually chaotic. Cork beating Dublin in 2015 and hammering Tipperary in 2013 only to get relegated weeks later stands out.

What we need to do is look beyond tradition and into the future. UEFA did it with the Champions League in 1992 and the talks of the six nations being split into tiered groupings is forever on going. It is in this sense of constant reinvention that we can create a game which includes everyone; a game for All Ireland and not the select few. Imagine a situation where Manchester United won five titles in a row or Liverpool won 5 FA Cups back to back? People would certainly loose

interest. Dilute winning and quieten the masses.

The GAA has made strides in the past from abolishing the Leinster Senior Hurling Championship; why not now?

GAA in Ireland is facing the rugby, soccer, cricket and martial arts. In the end of the day it is not the game of our fathers.

It is not the game of our people. It is a product people need to be enticed to, to want to play and feel.

Tradition can be kept. The Halls of Croker will still ring out every September, and the terraces will be alight. Creating the excitement needs to be done now. *Editor’s Note: As this article is an opinion piece, it has not been edited or altered in any way, to best preserve the author’s intent.

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 05 | Tuesday November 15th

Jubilation for Shelbourne Ladies, as they cap off a disastrous weekend for Wexford Youths (Photo: Shelbourne LFC)

Shels Squash Wexford in FAI Cup Final

Rob O’Sullivan - Editor-In-Chief

Shelbourne Ladies FC were able to avenge their loss in last year’s Continental Tyres FAI Cup Final, demolishing League leaders Wexford FC 5-0 in last week’s Women’s FAI Cup Final in the Aviva Stadium.

Wexford boss Gary Hunt, speaking before the game, noted that they were missing some key players for the final, including the suspended captain Kylie Murphy, and Irish International Lauren Dwyer, who wasn’t able to pass a late fitness test before the final. Right back Amy Walsh was also a concern, but was able to play for most of the game. Shels weren’t without selection issues, as Rebecca Creagh and Aoife Len-

non both missed the crucial cup tie. Hunt hoped that a win for Wexford would raise the spirits of the club, as the men’s senior team were relegated from the Premier Division the previous week.

As Amhrán na bhFiann rang out in an almost entirely empty Aviva, and the teams lined up, one is struck by the varying agerange on display, with youth team players standing shoulder-to-shoulder with veterans, surely a good sign for the ongoing development of ladies football in Ireland.

The youngest player on the pitch was Alex Kavanagh of Shelbourne, aged only 16.

Wexford got the game underway in a kit reminiscent of Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart,

while Shels contested the game in their traditional red & white strip. Shelbourne started off well, successfully containing the frenetic attack of Wexford and passing well between themselves, effectively building pressure and exerting it then on the Wexford back line. Wexford were not given much reprieve in the opening minutes, with several set-pieces being fired across the goal by Shels, with Jess Gleeson having to stretch to put one of the efforts over the line for a corner.

One could tell that the changes in formation & strategy imposed on Wexford caused problems for the players, as Shels looked the more capable team at almost every point. Noelle Murray put a great early ball

through to Gloria Douglas, who showed fantastic skill and strength to weave through the Wexford defense, but her effort was well blocked in the end.

Wexford were able to test the Shels goal on occasion, with keeper Amanda McQuillan looking nervous in spots early on, though nothing would come of it. Just after the 15 minute mark defender Nicola Sinnott was adjudged to have brought 17 year-old forward Leanne Kiernan down in the penalty area, with referee Deirdre Nolan pointing to the spot. Shades of last year’s final, as Continued inside (on Page 39)