UCC Express Vol.20 Issue 6

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 06 | Tuesday November 29th

2016 - A Year in Review Page 4 - News

RAG REVEAL: Autism Assistance Dogs Ireland, Sexual Violence Centre and the Bumbelance will benefit from this years R&G Week.

UCC SU ANOUNCES RAG WEEK CHARITIES Chris McCahill - News Editor

UCC SU has chosen the three Charities which will be beneficiaries of UCC’S Raise and Give Week in 2017.

The three Charities are: Autism Assistance Dogs Ireland, the Saoirse Foundation - T/A BUMBLEance and Sexual Violence Centre Cork, in addition to UCC’s own charitable societies, who will also be beneficiaries of UCC’s RAG week. Any monies raised will be split between the afore mentioned charities and will be used for a variety of causes.

Autism Assistance Dogs Ireland The first charity, Autism Assistance Dogs Ireland (AADI) was founded on the 26 of April 2010 and is a National charity (CHY 19293). Their Headquar-

ters is based at Mallow House, Shortcastle St, Mallow Co. Cork. AADI is a primary service providing highly trained assistance dogs for children with autism and their families. The charity provides a valuable service which can have life changing effects for both children and their families, and their assistance dogs are provided free of charge. The charity relies exclusively on voluntary contributions, as it does not receive any government funding. Monies are raised through flag days, church gate collections, sponsored events such as cycles, swims etc. AADI specially trained dogs help to provide safety, independence and companionship to children with autism, enabling social inclusion and a more independent life.

As a UCC RAG week charity, any monies raised would go directly into training AADI dogs and in return, UCC would be allowed to name their latest canine recruit and have the UCC logo on their assistance jacket.

The Saoirse Foundation - T/A BUMBLEance The Second Charity: BUMBLEance is the world’s first fully interactive, state of the art, Children’s National Ambulance Service. BUMBLEance provides a national service throughout the island of Ireland for critically ill children who require transportation between their home and children’s hospitals, hospices, national treatment centres and respite centres.

Continues on next page...

Personal Take on Eating Disorders Page 8 - Features

Whores of Yore Byline Magazine

NEWS INSIDE TODAY: 2

NEWS

FROM THE EDITOR how to progress. 2016 was a tough, tough year for everyone, really, and all you could do to make it through was to cling to those slim silver linings. 2016 started off rough, with the deaths of people like David Bowie who meant so much to so many, and personally 2016 started off with writing obituaries for UCC students who had passed over the winter break. I only really, honestly, tangentially knew them, but I know that I’ll never forget their names, their faces, and that’s what 2016 brought in spades.

03 UCC gets €100m loan 04 2016: A year in review

FEATURES

06 Hot chocolate in Cork review 10 Common disorders

SEXPRESS

31 Results of survey

BYLINE

15 12 commandments of 12 pubs 22 Pokemon Sun & Moon review

SPORT

39 UCC dominate in Judo 39 City fall short in Rome

EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-Chief - Robert O’Sullivan News Editor - Chris McCahill Deputy News Editor - Ciaran O’Halloran Graphic Designer - Beth Alexander Features Editor - Mary Collins Deputy Features Editor - Ciara Dinneen Photographer - Emmet Curtin Sports Editor - Dylan O Connell Deputy Sports Editor - Darragh Walsh Eagarthóir Gaeilge - Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive - Sarah Dunphy Online Editor - Evan Smith Byline Editor - Lauren Mulvihill Byline Associate Editor - Sarah Ryan Fiction Editor - Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Music Editor - Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor - Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor - Iris Maher Food Editor - Xander Cosgrave Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston Niamh O’Reilly Méabh McMahon

It Couldn’t Get Much Worse Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

I was a bit disturbed at the level of John Lennon-related content in my last few editorials, so of course I decided to title my editorial after a classic Lennon barb in the song Getting Better. Again, somehow, I’ve gotten to write my editorial well-before the paper has to go to print, and indeed again I actually have an idea of what I’d like to write.

I’ve written this a few times, in my head, on the paper, and I’m not sure

But it’s those silver linings, as slim as they may seem, that one has to cling to, what I had to cling to, to not just thrive but to actually survive; and in the spirit of the (American) holiday, I’d like to say I’m thankful for 2016. As old friends left me, new friends came into it, and I realised how toxic the old friends were; as health faded, and the light grows dimmer, the darkness gives me an opportunity to create my own light; and as some look down their noses at what we do here, it gives me the motivation to stick to my guns and prove them wrong. So thank you to 2016, thank you 2016; because even

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

though it couldn’t get much worse, even if it does, we’ll bounce back stronger than ever.

Specific thanks: Doing a quick bit of research, it’s more traditional to thank people specifically, so here we go. Thanks to Brian, Zoe, Xander and the rest of the Express 2015/16 team for laying the platform for us to do what we do every fortnight.

Thanks to Chris, Beth, Mary, Lauren and the rest of the Express staff for their sterling work, particularly our Freshers Ciara, Sarah & Darragh; I’m so proud in them, and proud to be able to see the amazing improvements and growth in their work.

Huge thanks to Evan, our Online Editor, for stepping in last issue on design, his work on the website and for being a truly amazing person. Evan, in all honesty, is one of four people (relatively) new to my life that are just inspirational, and essential to my (again, relative) sanity.

Robert O’Sullivan

FROM THE NEWS EDITOR

My Thanks and Saying Thank you Chris McCahill- News Editor My Thanks and Saying Thank you And so, the semester has flown by, far quicker than I would have liked, and with our last edition and thanksgiving having just passed us I’m going to take the opportunity to say thanks to all of the UCC express staff at large, from myself and I’m sure Rob

as well, we could not have done it without all of you. In particular, for my own part, I want to say thanks to all of the contributors and writers whom have written for the news section, but in particular thanks to Michelle and Sarah, whom have been contributing to news since the first edition, and have gone above and beyond in their work researching and writing stories, often on short notice. They probably don’t get enough thanks or recognition for all the work and effort they contribute to the express. I also cannot let this pass without saying a particular thank you to my deputy Ciaran, who has been absolutely phenomenal, not just at writing his own articles but also in helping with the editing process, a second pair of eyes is often indispensable there. They’ve all been a massive help throughout the year so far and I probably couldn’t have d o n e it with- out them to be

honest.

However, I still have an issue I want to raise, while it is great to be thanked and appreciated for one’s work, time and effort it’s important not to lose sight of the bigger picture and not lose yourself gaining the praise and thanks but that shouldn’t be your motivation or what drives you. Or if all you’re seeking is praise and thanks then maybe you should take another look in the mirror. It can probably be summed up best by the following quote: “You don’t do good deeds to be appreciated, you do them because they are the right thing to do”

Chris McCahill

NEWS

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

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Story Continued from the Front Page...

BUMBLEance also provides a unique and specialised service through its end of life Angel Trips; an Angel Trip is designed for a child in palliative care who is making their final journey on earth. The charity aims to make positive life impacts for sick children, particularly those affected by rare and genetic disorders - to support families in every way possible, provide them with the information and supports they need to deal with their situation and enhance their quality of life.

Any monies raised through UCC RAG week will contribute to the completion of the Bumbleance in Cork.

The Sexual Violence Centre Cork: The third and final charity is the Sexual Violence Centre in Cork. The charity has been providing services to victims of violence in Cork city and county since 1983. Services are provided to male, female and trans victims of violence aged 14 and upwards.

The centre also provides services to students from third level institutions in the region including UCC. The Centre is committed to prevention and awareness raising and our links with UCC include training, seminars, collaboration and participation in university and student events.The

centre provides support and therapy sessions to victims of violence and as such any monies raised through UCC RAG week will be used to support these services, particularly as many students avail of these services.

UCC’s own charitable societies will also be beneficiaries of RAG week.

As usual UCC’s RAG week will take place early next year in February, and events will take place throughout the week with all proceeds going to the RAG fund. For more information on RAG Week, and what you can do to raise money for RAG charities (other than putting money in buckets) email Kelly on Comms@UCCSU.ie.

Largest Development in UCC history Following €100 million Loan “We are investing significantly in student accommodation, student ICT services and a new student hub, as well as developing the medical, dental, paediatrics research, clinical health, innovation and research facilities to continue to fuel progress and success in these areas.

““have enormous impact not only for UCC but for education nationally and internationally.”

Chris McCahill- News Editor University College Cork has signed a €100 million loan agreement with the EIB (European Investment Bank) on Thursday (24thNov) which will support UCC’s €241 million development plan for the University. UCC President Dr. Michael Murphy welcomed the EIB delegation of senior officials to UCC, and announced that the loan will be used to fuel the most exciting phase of the University’s expansion to date. Dr. Michael Murphy also praised the investment for UCC’s unprecedented €241million outlay on capital expenditure, as a “ringing endorsement of the institution.”

“This is the largest investment in capital projects at UCC in our history. The scale and ambition of the infrastructural developments align directly to key focus areas for the future, namely enhancing student experience and building on our innovation and health agenda & facilities,” he said.

The development plan, which the loan will support includes a €64 million investment in student accommodation, a €37million investment in a new UCC Dental School and €27 million will fund a Western Campus development. This Western Campus development will include the first phase of a Cork Science and Innovation Park in Curraheen, in addition to outdoor sports facilities which will relocate from its current location in Curraheen to an adjacent site to provide space for the Science and Innovation Park.

“This is the largest investment in capital projects at UCC in our history. ” The investment will provide for a €90million development of a new student hub, which Dr. Murphy said will “have enormous impact not only for UCC but for education nationally and internationally.”

“The European Investment Bank funding is a real expression of confidence and support in UCC, its staff and students and will greatly assist the University in further improving its teaching and research facilities,” he said, adding the investment will create 500 jobs during construction work.

EIB Vice President, Andrew McDowell said the EIB was please to support “the impressive transformation of UCC that builds on a strong track record of internationally renowned health and innovation research.”

Mr McDowell remarked that “this will transform education and student facilities for future generations and ensure Cork’s role as one of Ireland’s leading research centres for years to come, as well as creating jobs and training opportunities during construction.”

The EIB loan will provide €100m of the planned €241m investment, the rest of which UCC said will be funded through capital grants, borrowings, and philanthropy.

In addition to the €100m UCC loan, the EIB also this week announced a €70m loan for campus development at Trinity College Dublin.

Around the Universities: TCD: A Trinity College Dublin lecturer loses discrimination case; Europe’s top court has ruled that a retired Trinity College Dublin lecturer was not discriminated against on his pension rights because of his sexual orientation or age.

UCD: University College Dublin (UCD) has been chosen to lead a new €4m European network to develop new technologies for the betterment of mental health services for young people.

NUIG: Scientists at NUI Galway have made a breakthrough discovery in the treatment of MRSA infection. The deadly bacterium is responsible for a significant number of conditions that are very difficult to treat due to its resistance to conventional antibiotics. The new approach does not kill the bacteria, but weakens its potency, allowing the immune system and antibiotics to eradicate infection with greater ease.

NUIG: A petition of over 1,000 signatures will be presented to the President of NUI Galway next week asking him to sell off the university’s shares in fossil fuels. The Climate Change, Agriculture and Food Security society has published a report on fossil fuel investments at NUI Galway. It has revealed that the university has 3.4-million-euro worth of shares in companies such as Gazprom and Statoil.

The CCAFS society is calling on the university President to divest from fossil fuels, and become more socially responsible regarding climate change.

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NEWS

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

2016 in Review, Top 10 News and Sports Stories

Chris McCahill, Ciaran O’ Halloran and Robert O’Sullivan Here we look back at the top 10 news and sports stories of 2016, most of which have been covered by us here at the UCC express, you can check out our news, features and sports articles from the past year on our website at uccexpress.ie, or in our archives on issuu.com/uccexpress Brexit: In June of this year the United Kingdom, by a margin of 52-48%, voted by referendum to leave the European Union. David Cameron, upon the announcement of the result, resigned as PM of the UK, with Theresa May eventually succeeding him. May would later announce that the government intended to invoke article 50 of the treaty on the European Union and initiate the formal procedure for the leaving the EU by the end of 2017. This would put the UK on a course to fully leave the EU by 2019 if no negotiated agreement is reached. May has promised a bill to remove the European Communities Act 1972 from the statute book and to incorporate existing EU laws into UK domestic law. The terms of withdrawal have not yet been negotiated; in the meantime, the UK remains a full member of the European Union.

Refugee Crisis: The European migrant crisis, or European refugee crisis as it is known, began is 2015 when increasing numbers of refugees and migrants began making the journey to the EU to seek asylum, either through crossing the Mediterranean Sea or by traveling through South-east Europe. Most of the refugees are from Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq, fleeing war and persecution. In particular, the Syrian civil war, an ongoing conflict since 2011, has produced almost half of the refugees or migrants. The sheer numbers of migrants crossing into Europe have led to a backlash in many EU countries over migrant quotas and the surrounding issues of responsibility. This has led to the rise or re-emergence of the more nationalist political groups and parties particularly in Germany, Austria and France. As of May of this year the death toll had exceeded over 2,500, the majority of these coming from the dangerous attempts at crossing the Mediterranean Sea, but since then this figure has rose drastically and now stands at almost 5,000.

Summer Olympics 2016: The 2016 Summer Olympic Games were held in August in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

Over 11,000 athletes from 205 National Olympic Committees, including first time entrants Kosovo, South Sudan and the Refugee Olympic team, took part. Rio became the first South American City to host the summer Olympics, and the 2016 Games were also the first games to be held in a Portuguese-speaking country, and the first to be held entirely within the host country’s winter. The US topped the medal table for the 5th time in 6 summer games with 46 gold medals (with the most overall with 121) including their 1000th Olympic gold medal. Great Britain finished in 2nd while China came in 3rd, with the hosts winning 7 gold medals, the most at any summer

games for Brazil, finishing in 13th place overall. Fiji, Jordan, Kosovo, Puerto Rico, Singapore, Tajikistan, Ivory Coast and Vietnam each won their first gold medals, as did the group of Independent Olympic Athletes (from Kuwait).

The games, however, were somewhat marred by several notable controversies and concerns, such as the outbreak of the zika virus and concerns over crime, security and political and economic crises. In addition to these several incidents plagued the games, including: organisational problems with anthems and flags, doping scandals, unsportsmanlike crowds, judging during the boxing competitions, a controversy surrounding whether a not a current in the pool benefitted some swimmers, the Lochgate scandal and the illegal resale of hundreds of tickets allocated to the Irish Olympic committee.

Ma’at region. The mission managed several historic firsts, such as getting a spacecraft into orbit around a comet and the unprecedented landing of a probe on the surface. A handful of previous spacecraft had snapped pictures and collected data as they flew past their targets. That data will reveal information on the side walls of the comet, crucial to understanding how they are formed, plus on large 100-metre (300 foot) wide pits, which scientists believe are key to how the comet releases gas and dust as it is warmed by the sun. Data collected

by Rosetta and Philae is already helping scientists better understand how the Earth and other planets formed. For example, scientists now believe that asteroids, not comets were primarily responsible for delivering water to Earth and other planets in the inner solar system, possibly setting the stage for life.

Rosetta Probe and Philae: Rosetta was a space probe built by the European Space Agency launched on 2 March 2004. Along with Philae, its lander module, Rosetta performed a detailed study of comet Churyumov–Gerasimenko. During its journey to the comet, the spacecraft flew by Mars and the asteroids 21 Lutetia and 2867 Šteins. On 6 August 2014, the spacecraft reached the comet and performed a series of manoeuvres to be captured in its orbit. On 12 November, its lander module Philae performed the first successful landing on a comet, though its battery power ran out two days later due to it landing in an unsuitable location for the recharging of its solar batteries. Communications with Philae were briefly restored in June and July 2015, but due to diminishing solar power, Rosetta’s communications module with the lander was turned off on 27 July 2016. On 30 September 2016, the Rosetta spacecraft ended its mission by landing on the comet in its

1916 commemorations: 2016 marks the centenary of the Easter Rising, one of the defining moments of the struggle for Irish independence. The rising saw days of fighting on the streets of Dublin with hundreds of casualties on both sides. Those who lost their lives were honoured earlier this year in April with commemorations in Dublin, including a wreath laying at Dublin Castle on Easter Sunday, a ceremony in the Garden of Remembrance, a street parade and the Easter Rising Centenary Visitor Facility being opened at the General Post Office. The ambition of Ireland 2016 is that people everywhere, in Ireland and overseas, will discover more about 1916 and that period in our history, by participating in events held all around the country and abroad, and by gaining access to newly available online historical and cultural material about 1916.

Euro 2016: The 2016 UEFA European Championships were held in France from

NEWS

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express 10 June to 10 July. For the first time, the European Championship final tournament was contested by 24 teams, having been expanded from the 16-team format. Portugal won the tournament for the first time, following a 1–0 victory after extra time over the host team, France. The Republic of Ireland qualified for their second European Championships in a row by defeating Bosnia & Herzegovina in a two-legged play off in November of 2015. There were a number of surprises and upsets throughout the tournament; countries like Wales, Hungary and Iceland outperformed expectations, while teams like Austria, England and Spain underperformed and exited early. Hooliganism was a problem at the Championships, with English fans clashing with police on June 10th, and again on the 11th, where violent clashes erupted in the streets of the same city before and after the Group B match between England and Russia. In contrast, the Irish fans were welcomed and embraced, becoming a social media sensation with their exploits in France. The Irish team themselves didn’t let the fans down, managing to progress from a very difficult group with a late winner against Italy before falling to the hosts in a tight-fought Final 16 match in Lyon.

Following the attacks on Paris on 13 November 2015, there were concerns about the safety of players and tourists, however the strong security presence ensured the tournament passed off safely.

Irish General Election: The Irish General Election took place on 26th February. Despite losing 26 seats from their win in 2011, Enda Kenny’s Fine Gael party, with their manifesto titled “Let’s keep the recovery going,” remained the largest party in the Dáil. Fianna Fáil bounced back from their worst ever election result in 2011, winning 44 seats, an increase of 24 seats. Sinn Féin, who had been fluctuating around 12-20% in the polls throughout the campaign, had their most successful election to date, winning 23 seats, becoming the third largest party in the Dáil. The biggest casualty of the election was the Labour Party, under Tánaiste Joan Burton, which had been the junior party in coalition government with Fine Gael. After winning 37 seats in 2011, the party suffered its worst election in history, losing 30 seats and falling to less than 7% of the total vote. There was mixed fortunes for the newer, smaller parties on Election Day; the Social Democrats maintained the three seats their leaders had won for other political parties in the previous general election, while the Renua party of Lucinda Creighton failed to return any candidates.

The Greens recovered from their complete decimation, electing two TDs, while the AAA-PBP increased their number of TDs from 4 to 6. The proportion of women in

the Dáil is now at 22 percent, up from 15% in 2011. On March 10th, Enda Kenny formally resigned as Taoiseach, staying on as a caretaker until a new government was formed. The most obvious agreement to reach a majority was a coalition with “the Old Enemy” Fianna Fail, and talks continued throughout April. Finally an agreement was finally reached for a Fine Gael-led minority government, supported issue-by-issue by Michael Martin’s Fianna Fáil party, on 29 April; 63 days after the election. The Dáil formally re-elected Deputy Kenny as Taoiseach on 6 May, becoming the first Taoiseach from Fine Gael to win re-election.

Trump: The 2016 US presidential election came to a surprising end on the 9th of November with victory for Republican Candidate Donald J Trump. The former real estate tycoon and reality TV star defied all the odds, polls, pundits and experts by winning the state of Wisconsin, thus clinching the presidency ahead of the heavily favourited Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

The surprise victory for Donald Trump marked an end to a very divisive, polarizing and often bitter campaign unlike any in recent memory. In the end, Trump’s nationalist, anti-globalist, anti-political correctness message appealed to a disenfranchised disillusion “silent majority” who, in turn, propelled him to the White House.

On Election night Trump managed to win the key swing states of Florida, Ohio and North Carolina, as well as the Rust Belt states of Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, to finish on 306 Electoral College votes to Hillary Clinton’s 232. Mr Trump will be sworn in as the 45th President on the 20th of January in Washington DC, despite having lost the overall popular vote.

Mike Pence of Indiana will be his Vice President.

Zika Virus: Beginning in April 2015 in Brazil, the Zika Virus epidemic of South and Central America rose to prominence in 2016. In February the World Health Organisation (WHO) declared the outbreak a ‘Public Health Emergency of International Concern’ as evidence grew that Zika can cause birth defects as well as neurological problems. While Zika infections in adults can result in Guillain–Barré syndrome, the real risk was coming from the transmission of the virus from an infected pregnant woman to her foetus, which can cause microcephaly and other severe brain anomalies. The main clinical symptoms in symptomatic patients were fever, conjunctivitis, joint and rash. The virus is spread mainly by

the Aedes aegypti mosquito, which is commonly found throughout the tropical and subtropical Americas. It can also be spread by the Aedes albopictus mosquito, which is distributed as far north as the American border with Canada. A number of countries issued travel warnings throughout the year, while other countries took the unusual step of advising their citizens to delay pregnancy until more is known about the virus. In November 2016 WHO announced the end of the Zika epidemic.

Celebrity Deaths: 2016 has been heralded as the worst year to be a celebrity of any note, as the year has thus-far claimed several well-beloved figures. The deaths started, many would say, with the passing of Motörhead frontman Lemmy Kilmister, who actually passed away in late 2015. Lemmy was followed by revolutionary glam-rocker David Bowie, and Die Hard & Harry Potter star Alan Rickman. We’ve compiled a (non-exhaustive) list of beloved actors, musicians and stars who sadly passed on in 2016: David Bowie (musician, actor; Labyrinth), Alan Rickman (actor; Die Hard, Harry Potter series), Phife Dawg (musician; A Tribe Called Quest), Keith Emerson (musician; Emerson, Lake & Palmer), George Martin (music producer; The Beatles), Dan Haggerty (actor; Grizzly Adams), Abe Vigoda (actor; Barney Miller, The Godfather), Glenn Frey (musician; The Eagles), George Kennedy (actor; Cool Hand Luke, the Naked Gun series), Nancy Reagan (actor, First Lady of the United States), Garry Shandling (actor, comedian), Merle Haggard (musician), Doris Roberts (actor; Everybody Loves Raymond), Joanie “Chyna” Laurer, (WWF wrestler, adult film actress), Prince (musician), Gordie Howe (ice-hockey player), Muhammad Ali (gold-medallist & professional boxer), Anton Yelchin (actor; JJ Abrams Star Trek series), Kenny Bake r (actor; Star Wars), Gene Wilder (actor; The Producers, Blazing

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Saddles, Willy Wonka), Arnold Palmer (golfer), Anthony Foley (rugby player & coach), Leonard Cohen (musician), Robert Vaughn (actor), Ron Glass (actor; Barney Miller, Firefly), Fidel Castro (politician; leader of Cuba). We at the UCC Express would like to apologise for anyone we missed in this list, and sincerely hope that no one be added to this list (especially Angela Lansbury).

European Terrorist attacks: Europe was hit by a number of violent radical Islamic terrorist attacks in 2016. Carrying on from the Charlie Hebdo and Bataclan killings in Paris in 2015 that left over 150 dead, Belgium, Germany, France and other European countries were again were victims of terrorist attacks. The first major incident occurred on March 22 of this year, where co-ordinated suicide bombings on the Brussels airport in Zaventem and at the Maalbeek metro station in Brussels killed 32 people and injured hundreds. The perpetrators were closely linked to the group that carried out attacks in Paris some four months earlier. The Islamic State group took credit for the Brussels attacks, and threatened other countries taking part in the anti-IS coalition. France suffered another spate of attacks in 2016, the most notable occurring on Bastille Day in Nice, where a French citizen ploughed a 19 tonne cargo truck into a crowd celebrating the holiday.

84 people were killed and hundreds more were injured. On 16 July, two agencies linked to Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) claimed the responsibility for the attack. France’s neighbour, Germany, has also suffered a number of isolated attacks in the past year, most notably on July 22 when an 18-year-old German-Iranian gunman, apparently acting alone, opened fire in a busy shopping mall in Munich. In late July, three suspected Islamic State group suicide bombers targeted the international terminal of Istanbul’s Ataturk airport, killing at least 36 people and wounding many others.

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OPINION

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Putting Forward a Pro-Life Position

ric with no opportunity for rebuttal.

Matthew Manning* - Opinion Writer At times, you could forget what the liberal ethos associated with most universities around the world really means, and with referenda in colleges (like those in UCC last year and UCD this year) you could easily take it as meaning that universities are platforms for the so-called ‘liberal agenda’. This line of thinking, in turn, then leads to people saying things like ‘Catholic voices are silenced in universities’, and while I wouldn’t personally limit it to one religion or denomination it does get to the crux of the matter. In truth, the “liberal ethos” of universities has nothing to do with a liberal agenda or “feminism” but it has to do with a melting pot of ideas & ideals, where everyone can believe what they want to believe and, if they have the ability and platform, say what they want to say.

This concept can get lost a lot of the time on both sides of the aisle, with university spaces being typically dominated by “liberals” or “feminists” leading to a derision of any other opinion than their own (aka the echo-chamber effect), but it can also lead to some justifying deplorable homophobic and racist opinions “in the interest of balance” or because they feel marginalised.

Both of these examples are antagonistic to the role college campuses play in society.

There is no better example of this than the abortion issue. Just look at the past copies of this paper, its full of pro-abortion rheto-

The 8th Amendment was brought into the Irish Constitution in 1983 following a referendum of the Irish people. The motion itself was brought to the fore by groups like Pro-Life Amendment Campaign with the help of people like Charlie Haughey (Fianna Fáil), Garret Fitzgerald (Fine Gael) and Frank Cluskey (Labour). Though abortion was already illegal under Irish law at the time, people feared something like Roe-v-Wade (a legal case that legalised abortions in America) could happen in Ireland. The vote passed by a margin of around 67%, a similar margin to 2015’s marriage referendum.

What were the arguments back then? Well, Pro-Lifers wanted to preserve the right to life of the unborn in the womb in the Irish Constitution. And what has changed there? Surely, under Article 3 of the UN Charter of Human Rights the unborn baby is guaranteed the “right to life, liberty and security of person”. This, you would think, would include babies who are discovered to have developmental disorders, disabilities or abnormalities. A case could be made for babies we know will only live a very short time, if at all, but really, who are we to say that a child doesn’t have the right to a chance, to a shot, at life? There may be, should the eighth be repealled, a risk that children who could live a long life be killed in the womb, just because the prospect of raising a child with a disability may seem daunting to the mother and father.

Some things have changed since the 1983 referendum. At the time, many Protestant communities campaigned against the amendment, with the then-Dean of

St Patrick’s, Victor Griffin, publicly telling the Taoiseach that the Constitution should “steer clear of controversial and moral questions”. Issues like divorce and gay marriage have been enshrined in the constitution in the last 30 or so years, solidifying the role constitution plays as a shield for certain sensitive or controversial issues. This role is even more crucial when you consider the aftermath of a successful repeal referendum, in that the void left by the eighth amendment would momentarily leave confusion over the law, which could cost mothers and their babies dearly. After that, do you really trust politicians in the Dáil to put aside party politics and consider the heart of the matter: the lives of mothers and children in Ireland?

The pro-life argument is not one of religious dogma or moral conviction, though those may be the reasons given, it is simply a logical one based on the rationalisation that both the mother and the baby in her womb have an equal right to life, no matter what. And regardless of whether you’re pro-life or pro-abortion, you have to agree that life is more valued, trusted and protected with the current status quo, and with the eighth amendment in place. *The author of this article requested we give them a pseudonym, and we have agreed to this request.

Editor’s Note: The piece made several references to other pieces published in the UCC Express, all of which can be found in the past issues archive on UCCExpress. ie. While we are not bound by the concept of fair & equal balance for all issues discussed, we do strive to represent as many different viewpoints as feasible within the limits of page space.

Facts on the Eighth Amendment: The Eighth Amendment commonly refers to Article 40.3.3° of Bunreacht na hÉireann, and states the following: The State acknowledges the right to life of the unborn and, with due regard to the equal right to life of the mother, guarantees in its laws to respect, and, as far as practicable, by its laws to defend and vindicate that right.

This subsection shall not limit freedom to travel between the State and another state.

This subsection shall not limit freedom to obtain or make available, in the State, subject to such conditions as may be laid down by law, information relating to services lawfully available in another state.

If the Eighth was to be repealed, the Protection of Life During Pregnancy Act 2013 would be the most relevant abortion-related legislation in Ireland, under which abortion is banned except in the circumstances where there is ‘an imminent and substantial risk to a woman’s life, including suicide’.

In 2014, approximately 10 people travelled from Ireland to Britain every day for an abortion.

FEATURES

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

I’m dreaming of a White (Chocolate) Christmas….

Laura O’Connor; Staff writer Christmas is nearly here, and to me at least, Christmas is nothing without a bit of hot chocolate to keep those fingers warm and get into the festivities. As Cork’s resident hot chocolate connoisseur, allow me to take you on a journey through my top picks of places to get creamy chocolatey goodness this holiday season.

Dealing with Refugees and Integration Isle of Hope: A Social Innovation Startup by UCC Students

Lauren Lehane and Stephen Spillane Refugees and how to deal with migrants is a growing question for many developed nations, including Ireland. Many parts of the world are becoming unstable due to war, poverty, disease and famine. In 2015 there was a 126.2% increase on the number of refugee and Asylum applications in Ireland, with 3,276 applications received during the year. Applications are down in 2016 with 1,573 applying between January 1st and September 31st this year.

The Irish were once migrants to the UK, the US, Australia and many other countries around the world, giving us a rich and diverse diaspora to draw upon. It has now come full circle and migrants are now traveling here. They have unwillingly left their life in their home countries due to unrest, and they are now facing isolation and exclusion here in Ireland.

UCC students Lauren Lehane (Govt. 2), Liam O’Driscoll (Law 1) and Aisling O’Callaghan (world lang. 1) are aiming to build ‘integration through friendship’ for the refugees here in Ireland. These three UCC students recently attended the DCU Ryan Academy and U.S Embassy Dublin Hackathon. There were thirteen teams working on integration projects with various approaches, and at the hackathon around thirty to forty ideas were pitched to the one hundred young people present, who voted on the top thirteen projects to move forward with.

The UCC students were particularly drawn to the idea of the ‘Isle of Hope’ which was pitched by a UCD graduate student, Mark Duffy. The team spent every free minute they had over that weekend doing intensive research, developing their plan, contacting organisations & members of government, and developing a website and social media campaign to raise awareness.

The Isle of Hope is a project which matches refugee families with Irish families to create bonds and friendships, and helps refugees to settle into Irish culture. The matching of the families will be based on interests & hobbies, as well as the makeup of families; for example, if a refugee family has a teenager there will be a match with an Irish family with a teenager of a similar age. After the applications have been completed, the team plans to have a pairing night which reveals the matched families, and the families will then watch a movie together with subtitles. The following weeks include one-on-one family outings and events for all the families to meet together. The other ideas for the families include sports day, movie nights, cooking classes as refugees in centres are often not allowed to cook for themselves.

The team are currently promoting their project online, on radio and in newspapers and they are receiving great response and support. The next steps for the Isle of Hope include meeting with the DCU Ryan Academy in early December to discuss what funding and support is necessary to carry out the project. The team plan to carry out the eight-week program in 2017 in a pilot town, with Clonakilty being the current frontrunner, as it has great community spirit, clubs and activities and also a direct provision centre for refugees. The team will then evaluate how successful the project was in Clonakilty and make the improvements necessary to carry it out in other towns across the country.

As Ireland faces up to its international duties and continues to take refugees from Syria and other parts of the world, integration and intercultural understandings will be key to the success of resettlement here.

Isle of Hope is one of many projects setup to help integrate refugees into Irish Society and help them to make homes here.

To follow the Isle of Hope on their journey of ‘integration through friendship’ check out their website: www.isleofhope. ie.

O’Conails, French Church Street As if this was even a question. O’Conail’s specialise in hot chocolate – you can rest assured that they know their stuff. It’s rich, it’s creamy, it’s glorious – and it comes with a batch of chocolate drops for your eating pleasure. My only complaint is that there’s never enough of it. Their chocolate flakes for homemade hot chocolate is also great, and a top hit amongst my housemates. I recommend Milk Chocolate for beginners.

Gloria Jeans, Castle Street, the Savoy Gloria Jeans is really underrated for their hot chocolate. It’s absolutely delicious.

It’s properly warm, it comes in 3 flavours (white, milk and dark) and though it’s dearer than O’Conail’s, they actually do a decent large cup size. And they add marshmallows for free! Definitely recommend if you’re looking for something new.

Café Eco, Winthrop Street If you can get over the excessive amount of ‘Alt’ kids that seem to live inside there nowadays, Café Eco / Web Workhouse is a good shout. Their Hot Chocolate On A Stick is cool and unusual; my only complaint about them these days is that the milk is never quite warm enough for my tastes. I want my hot chocolate HOT, dammit!

Perry St Market Café If you really want to treat yourself I heavily recommend here – hot chocolate is costly, but it tastes good, and usually comes with cookies or a brownie for your dollars. I like going here when I’m feeling pretentious and hipster and feel like drinking things out of clear glass mugs. It’s also very nice for a mildly sophisticated friend-date.

Starbucks I mean, if you like your hot chocolate how you like your coffee – generic, slightly sickening and in a red mug that always causes controversy, I guess you could get Starbucks hot chocolate? I’ve never particularly liked it; in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever finished a mug of it. So take from that what you will.

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

Be sure to take advantage of the wonderful Christmassy atmosphere that will be present in Cork over the next few weeks; give yourself a break from the exam study blues to do something cute and Christmassy, like: • Don’t underestimate the simplistic wonder that is the Grand Parade Christmas Ferris Wheel.

The best time to go on this is in the evening or night time, after it gets dark.

• Cork On Ice are offering student discounts on Wednesdays! On these student nights, students can skate for just €10 per person with valid student ID. Book and pay at the rink.

• And of course, very importantly, here are some of the Christmas Carol Services that will be taking place in Cork…

The Lough Switching on of the Crib Christmas lights at The Lough on Monday 5th of December at 7pm – Hot chocolate, carol singing, entertainment and more St Mary’s, Pope Quay (Roman Catholic) Sunday 11th December Advent Carol Concert as part of 800th anniversary of Dominican order. Featuring Saint Mary’s choir and the Cork Fleischmann Symphony Orchestra.

Tickets €10 from the Dominican Centre or Pro-Musica, Oliver Plunkett St. St Fin Barres Cathedral (Church of Ireland) Sunday 18th December & Saturday 24th December Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols 4pm (Both days) St Anne’s, Shandon (Church of Ireland) Thursday 22nd December Parish Carol Service 7:30pm

Est.

8 1997

FEATURES

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Breaking the Fast Ciara Dinneen – Deputy Features Editor They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

For a time, it was my only meal of the day.

For a time, it was the only thing keeping me alive.

But eventually, of even that I deprived myself.

It is difficult to explain what it is like to go through something, knowing it is an impossible thing to understand having not gone through it. I didn’t understand until it was over, until after I got better.

I feel as though Eating Disorders are often misperceived as something one, in a way, decides to have; as if one day that person wakes up and decides “you know what, I’m kind of sick of eating and want to be super thin, so I’m going to be anorexic from now on.” This is a misconception, and a dangerous misunderstanding. You don’t wake up one day and decide you’re going to starve yourself. It’s not something you choose; the eating disorder chooses you. The illness happens to you. It haunts you; develops from deep within you, growing slowly and malevolently inside until it takes over completely and you’re helpless to stop it. It isn’t your fault. A mental illness is exactly that: an illness, and it is not something that can be fixed by a good pep talk or simple change of perspective. It takes time; infinite time, constant effort and consistent determination.

I craved the feeling of ice cold water

trickling down to fill an empty stomach with nothing.

Water could do no harm. Once it was digested it was weightless, only passing through, cleaning, cleansing, untraceable, invisible.

First, I cut out sweets. No jellies or chocolate or snack foods. I was very strict, but my discipline wasn’t dangerous at this point; I was still eating all the other important food groups. It may have been okay if I had just gone as far as this. It wouldn’t have put my physical health in such a dangerous position or put my life at risk. But I went further; I slowly cut things out of my diet completely; bit by bit, I cut out bread, I cut out red meat, I cut out chicken, I cut out pasta and rice. Eventually I cut out most foods until all I was living on was fruit and water. As humans, we cannot survive on just fruit and water. We need food. Just as a car needs fuel to run, we need food to function; and even more than a car needs fuel to run, we need food to survive. And not just any food, but the right food in the right amounts.

But part of the illness is the problem that arises when these lines are blurred, when you no longer trust what is the right food or the right amount. You construct your own rules and regulations, or rather, the illness does. It tells you that less is more and less needs to be as minimal as possible until eventually the most you can have is nothing. Then the voice; nothing is still too much, you need less less less and so you abuse your body in every way you physically

can in such a condition to lose, shake off, get rid of the unnecessary, which is of course the necessary, the vital for survival, but the illness will not accept that.

I was always cold, as I wanted to be, the warmth uncomfortable, suffocating.

Freezing all my softness, shrinking and restricting until I was small enough.

But I was never small enough, and just before it was too late I learned that I never would be, I never would be small enough. That was the trick, the game, and no one ever wins.

“You construct your own rules and regulations, or rather, the illness does” You see the thing is; I was never going to be small enough, thin enough, good enough. Every step I took, even if I said it would be my last, was never my last. But I wasn’t walking alone; it was walking with me. Not even with me, but for me; I had no say. It developed slowly, little steps spread out over time, over months. But it builds up and escalates and then spirals too fast and out of control; and once you’re caught up in that downward spinning spiral, it seems impossible to get out; a rollercoaster of thought you can’t get off. It takes over everything; it effects everything. No part of your life is left untouched, untainted, undisturbed. The first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning, and the last thing you contemplate before you fall to sleep at night; what to eat (less), what not to eat (more), when to eat (timing is important, nothing after

7pm, only water water water), ways to hide it (make them think you ate), when to walk (as much as possible), when to run (whenever you physically could), you can do it, you can do it, you don’t need it (food), you’re ok (you won’t die), you can do it.

Tea with friends was missing out on conversations because my mind was overcome with contemplations, did I deserve a biscuit?

Tea with a drop of milk was twenty already.

You see a harmless treat, I see no exceptions for a week.

Another hour long walk, run if you can, and sixty jumping jacks, one hundred to be sure.

Friends and family and even strangers could see, plain as day, that you were un-eating yourself apart from the inside out. It shows in your eyes, the dark circles and gaping holes; it shows in the clothes hanging loosely from protruding bones; it shows in your hair, in how it was thinning and falling out; it shows in the weak and insincere “no thank you” smile every time you were offered something to eat. “Are you sure you don’t want a biscuit?” Of course, I wanted a biscuit, I just didn’t know it.

I wasn’t let know, because what I later came to call ‘the illness’ knew better,

FEATURES

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express en days a week preoccupation with food and body image is no way to live; it is no life. I believe that the three years I was ill for were stolen from me by the illness itself, and I perform a quiet background battle every day to keep that illness from taking me over again.

I played the game, and discovered that what I once believed to be a win was not, for the only prize is death, a losing battle all the way.

But I got out of it ok, and need not admit defeat, for truth be told I’m better now, I’ve gained more than what you see.

[If you are worried, either for yourself or for a friend, do not hesitate to contact the what it wanted was what I wanted. I had no say. I am not a liar, but I would lie; I would say I ate when I didn’t; I would wrap my food up in napkins or kitchen paper and throw it away; I would say I wasn’t hungry when my stomach was sore and screaming out for food, when my body was physically shaking, my mind barely tuning into what was going on. At the same time I wouldn’t let my mind stop ticking, constantly on high alert; think distraction distraction distraction; anything to keep me busy (take my mind off the hunger, the cold, the exhaustion).

All day every day, the calculator checklist in my head would monitor every bite, every move, even when empty it was still too full.

Adding and subtracting, taking more than giving.

Every bite alarm bells, every swallow death resounding like a canon as in the hunger games, only this was real.

“I would say I wasn’t hungry when my stomach was sore and screaming out for food,” You think of nothing else. All day every day it’s what you’ll eat, or rather what you will not eat; what you’ll do, the walking, running, anything to keep your body moving, going, shedding.

Many people are under the impression that someone with an eating disorder only have that eating disorder because of a strong desire to be thin or skinny or slim, but that isn’t true for all cases. Eating Disorders can be more than a desire to be thin; they can stem from many things, one of them control.

Mine stemmed from a bad combination of perfectionism and high-functioning anxiety. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, like I wasn’t doing well enough in school (meaning I wasn’t getting a perfect score in every test), I wasn’t

getting at least over 90% in my violin exams, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t good enough, I just wasn’t enough.; in every way, I just wasn’t enough… But what is enough?

Breakfast is still my favourite meal of the day, and that is ok, now that I no longer deprive myself of the others. The calculator isn’t gone away completely, it interjects now and then, but I know now how to tune it out. I know now, not only what I deserve, but what I need.

It wasn’t easy, getting better. There was no clear turning point. I didn’t decide one day “ok I’m going to stop this now.” At first, I was “getting better” for my parents.

I was doing what I could to please them, to put them at ease, to get them off my back enough so that I could quietly, beneath the surface of what could be picked up on (in a place I managed to keep from everyone for a long time before I really started to get better), tick away on what I’d been working on. That’s what’s strange too; it’s like you are working hard on something, the illness’ own malicious little missions, and you were so secretly happy every time the scales didn’t show “an improvement” or so they called it.

Once I distinguished the illness from myself, once I knew that this was something I was going to have to fight, things began to turn around. I managed to separate, at least a little bit, myself from the illness and in this way, I was able to begin my fight to get my life back. A 24 hour sev-

“I perform a quiet background battle every day to keep that illness from taking me over again.”

Student Health services offered to us here in UCC. You can call into the Student Health Department, Ardpatrick, College Road, or call on (021) 4902311 to make an appointment. A few more specific details; I suffered from Anorexia Nervosa, a psychological eating disorder defined by extremely low body weight relative to stature (BMI), extreme and needless weight loss, irrational fear of weight gain, and distorted perception of self-image and body. It is often shortened to anorexia which refers to self-starvation and lack of appetite. A few statistics: It is estimated that 1% to 4.2% of women have suffered from anorexia in their lifetime. Anorexia kills people; it has the highest fatality rate of any mental illness or psychiatric disorder; approximately 4% of anorexic individuals die from complications of the disease. You can find more information on w w w. bodywhys. ie, and w w w. eatingdisorderhope. com]

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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY 1st December: The first public cinema, Cinéma Omnia Pathé, is opened in Paris, with great success.

Its popularity was such that in 1934 it received an extension from 250 seats to 700, and was given permission to show new films 8 days before other establishments. It was transformed into a pornographic cinema from 1979-1981 before closing down in September 1987.

2nd December: This date in 1999 marked a milestone in Anglo-Irish relations with the Good Friday Agreement officially coming into operation. Significantly, this also took place on the 75th birthday of Unionist politician William Craig – maybe not the best birthday present.

3rd December: In 1586, Sir Thomas Harriot first introduced the potato to Europe. Having spent two years travelling ‘the New World’ he shared his findings with his dear friend Sir Walter Raleigh, who quickly showed them off to the Royal Assembly and was, of course, given all the credit.

Harriot later escaped execution after accusations of his homosexuality, while in 1618 Raleigh was executed for treason. Karma.

4th December: In 1829, the British government officially banned the practice of sati; the burning or burying alive of a woman with the body of her husband, a common practice in colonial India. This proved difficult to enforce, with 28 instances of sati in the last 45 years.

5th December: Notorious English pirate Blackbeard (Edward Teach) ransacks the merchant ship ‘Margaret’ in 1717 and keeps her captain, Henry Bostock, captive for 8 hours.

Bostock would later deliver the first record of Blackbeard’s appearance and his description of a “man with a very black beard which he wore very long” would provide inspiration for Teach’s highly original renaming..

Est.

10

FEATURES

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Common Disorders and How to Find Them 1997

• • •

social life Low self-esteem and feelings of guilt Aches and pains with no physical basis, e.g. chest, head or tummy pain associated with anxiety or stress Loss of interest in living, thinking about death, suicidal thoughts Massive weight gain/ loss

• • Diagnosis; Talk to your doctor. They may ask you a few questions and ask you to rate your response on a scale, as with anxiety.

If they are concerned, they may refer you to a psychiatrist and/or counsellor for more specialised help.

Mary Collins, Features editor When you’re mentally ill, people seem to think that you should know something is wrong, but that’s the nature of the beast; you might know something isn’t right, but that doesn’t mean you know what’s wrong either. It’s tough when your mind hates you; bad friends you can drop, you can leave your abusive ex-boy/girlfriend (please do, there are resources that can help), but you and your mind are stuck together. Stressful times like exams and holidays can bring out issues you didn’t even know were there. So if you’re concerned that you may be affected by a mental disorder, or even if you find them interesting and want to know a bit more, read on…. *Disclaimer: this article is not a replacement for the advice of a medical professional or doctor, and it should not be used for such a purpose. If any of the following applies to you in any way, please consult your doctor, GP or the Student Health Centre as soon as possible.

Anxiety Summary; Everyone worries, everyone gets stressed; it’s when it inhibits your ability to function that you have to consider if it is something more serious. This is one of the more common disorders in students, affecting 1 in 9 people in Ireland.

I could write an article about this in its own right; there are 6 main types of anxiety disorders, each with their own quirks and presentations. Generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety attacks (panic disorder), obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobia, social anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s thought to be related to dysfunction in serotonin, GABA and noradrenaline levels.

General symptoms for anxiety include; • restlessness • a sense of dread

• • • • •

feeling constantly ‘on edge’ difficulty concentrating irritability impatience being easily distracted

As with many mental disorders, there can be physical symptoms too.

• dizziness • drowsiness and tiredness • pins and needles • irregular heartbeat (palpitations) • muscle aches and tension • dry mouth • excessive sweating • shortness of breath • stomach ache • nausea • diarrhoea • headache • painful or missed periods • difficulty falling or staying asleep (insomnia) Diagnosis; Chatting to your doctor. They might order some blood tests to rule out physical issues, and they might ask you questions where you give your answers on a scale (e.g. How often do you feel this way? Where 1 is every day and 7 is never).

If they are concerned, they may refer you to a psychiatrist and/or counsellor for more specialised help.

Symptoms; these vary between disorders, here is a brief overview.

Anorexia is an inability to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for height, body type, age, and activity level. It incorporates an intense fear of weight gain or being “fat”, and in extreme cases loss of menstrual periods.

Bulimia consists of repeated episodes of bingeing and purging. Purging after a binge, typically by self-induced vomiting, abuse of laxatives, diet pills, diuretics, excessive exercise, or fasting are common, along with frequent dieting.

Orthorexia is an obsession with eating a healthy diet.

Diagnosis; speaking to your GP, maybe getting blood tests to rule out other causes for fluctuating weight before being referred to a specialist/psychiatrist.

Treatment; Psychotherapy and CBT are used. Nutritional counselling is one of the most important parts and can help develop a diet plan to maintain a healthy weight.

Medication may also be used in conjunction with other methods.

Treatment; Cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling and medication are the most commonly used treatments for anxiety.

Exercise also helps.

Depression Summary; it’s one of the most common disorders in the western world, with almost 20% of people being affected by it. When the symptoms last longer than 2-4 weeks, it’s time to check in with the doctor.

Eating Disorders Summary; Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge eating disorder (compulsive over eating), Purge eating disorder, orthorexia and night eating syndrome. Alterations in dopamine, acetylcholine, and reward systems in the brain are implicated in bulimia and anorexia.

Symptoms; • Feeling sad, anxious or bored • Low energy, feeling tired or fatigued • Under-sleeping or over-sleeping, waking frequently during the night • Poor concentration, thinking slowed down and becoming more indecisive • Loss of interest in hobbies, family or

Treatment; Cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling, antidepressants and exercise are used. The most effective treatment tends to be a combined approach of at least 2 of the above.

Sleep Disorders Issues with sleep disorders can affect every part of your life; your grades, friendships, relationships, mood, concentration and more. They are also quite common among college students (Who hasn’t pulled an all-nighter, or stayed up all night cramming/ stressing for a test?) As with everything on this list, there are different types…

• Insomnia - a hard time falling or staying asleep.

• Sleep apnoea - breathing interruptions during sleep.

• Restless legs syndrome - a tingling or prickly sensation in the legs.

• Narcolepsy - daytime “sleep attacks” Diagnosis; depends on the disorder. Speak to your GP, you may be referred to a specialist, or do a sleep study, where they keep you in overnight and monitor your regular sleeping habits.

Treatment; Depends on the type of sleep disorder. CBT, medication or surgery may be good to alleviate any underlying conditions that may be affecting your ability to sleep. Good sleep hygiene is also key to treating these disorders. Examples would include; • Using the bed for sleep and sex only (no television watching or reading in bed) • Avoiding caffeine, especially late in the day and activities that will get you stimulated and upset late in the day; practising relaxation techniques before bedtime • Exercising each day • Maintaining a regular schedule for sleep. Try to avoid naps, they throw you off.

• If you can’t sleep, get up and do something until you feel sleepy; staying in

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ISSUE 06 | UCC Express bed and watching the clock is NOT helpful.

Schizophrenia Summary; this is one of the most wellknown disorders, thanks to featuring in many movies/TV shows. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most misunderstood.

There are estimated to be 23 million people worldwide who are affected, and symptoms usually develop from late teens to mid-twenties. There are many theories on the neurological causes of schizophrenia, although it is thought to be related to a deficit of glutamate and/or increased dopamine.

Symptoms; Symptoms for schizophrenia are divided into 3 types.

Positive; delusions, hallucinations, thought/movement disorders and disorganized speech Negative; seeming flat, in facial expression, tone and mood, reduced feelings of pleasure, social withdrawal, and low energy Cognitive; forgetting things immediately after being told (working memory deficits), trouble focusing and paying attention, loss of executive function (the ability to understand information and use it to make decisions).

Diagnosis; There is no specialised test for schizophrenia, and it’s notoriously difficult to diagnose. Again, speaking to your GP, where you may be referred to a psychiatrist to evaluate. Displaying 2 or more positive symptoms for a month or more is usually a good bench mark (although if the hallucinations are especially extreme, one symptom may be enough).

Treatment; Medication, counselling, job training and social rehabilitation to help people function better.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Summary; Season Affective Disorder (SAD) is a condition where people who usually have ‘normal’ mental health throughout the year experience depressive symptoms at the same time/season each year. Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessarily tied to winter, although it’s more common to see it in winter months.

Symptoms; in addition to the symptoms of depression, people with SAD may experience other symptoms based on what time of year they are affected.

Winter symptoms; oversleeping or difficulty waking up in the morning, nausea, and a tendency to over eat, often with a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain

Spring/Summer symptoms; insomnia, decreased appetite and weight loss, and agitation or anxiety Diagnosis; it’s classified as a subset of major depressive disorder, so speak to your GP. Early intervention as the seasons are changing makes a big difference.

Treatment; antidepressants, CBT, ionized air administration (releasing charged particles into the sleeping environment) and light therapy are used. Light therapy consists of simulating sun light, either by reflecting it off windows, programming your computer of getting a light box.

Bipolar Summary; despite the misconception that people with bipolar cycle rapidly back and forth between mania and depression, most are more depressed more often than they are manic. In fact, mania can be so mild it goes unnoticed. Dopamine, noradrenaline and glutamate are implicated in the manic phase. Around 40,000 people in Ireland have bipolar.

Symptoms; the depressive symptoms are the same as the ones listed above for depression. The symptoms of mania are as follows; • feeling very happy, elated or euphoric (overjoyed) • talking very quickly • feeling full of energy • feeling full of self-importance • feeling full of great new ideas and having important plans • being easily distracted • being easily irritated or agitated • being delusional, having hallucinations and disturbed or illogical thinking • not feeling like sleeping • not eating • doing pleasurable things that often have disastrous consequences, such as spending large sums of money on expensive and sometimes unaffordable items.

There are 5 main states of bipolar; Severe mania -> hypomania -> normal -> mild to moderate depression -> severe depression Diagnosis; Speak to your GP where you may be referred to a Psychiatrist. They’ll ask about your mood, maybe even give you a questionnaire.

Treatment; CBT, medication, self-care.

Sleep deprivation can trigger a manic episode, so give yourself time to sleep properly and take care of yourself. Bipolar people are more likely to have substance abuse

issues, so getting support for any other underlying issues is crucial to successful management.

Borderline Personality disorder Summary; the hallmarks of this disorder are a long history of unstable relationships, abandonment issues, unstable sense of self and emotional dysregulation. It’s like being on an emotional rollercoaster, and unfortunately for those affected, they can’t get off. It occurs in approximately 1-3% of people worldwide.

Symptoms; • Markedly disturbed sense of identity • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment and extreme reactions to such • Splitting (“black-and-white” thinking, someone’s motivations are either all good or all bad, there is no middle ground) • Severe impulsivity • Intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation • Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships • Self-damaging behaviour • Distorted self-image • Dissociation • Anger issues It presents differently in males than females (men with the disorder are more likely to have anger issues or explosive tempers), although the disorder is more commonly diagnosed in women.

Diagnosis; speaking to a professional, either a doctor or counsellor. This condition is particularly comorbid with other mental disorders, and is sometimes discovered in the treatment of something else.

Treatment; Dialectical behavioural Therapy (DBT) is a modified form of CBT, and has been shown to be one of the most effective treatments. It focuses on increasing emotional regulation by learning to identify events that trigger episodes and giving people tools to cope with them to avoid unhealthy reactions. Counselling, medication and psychotherapy are also used.

If you are in anyway concerned that you may have any of the disorders above, you can contact the following; Student Health Centre; 021 4902311 Student Counselling Service; 021 490 3565 Samaritans; 116 123 (free number to call, open 24/7, 365 days a year).

Any advice given in the above article is purely that, advice, and should not be taken as a replacement for professional medical advice or consultation. Consult your GP in addition to the aforementioned services.

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Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) It’s a specialised type of therapy that focuses on identifying unhelpful or unhealthy thinking patterns, behaviours or emotional dysregulation.

It focuses on developing personal coping mechanisms that people can use to turn these unhealthy habits around. It was originally designed for depression, but is now in use in some form for most mental health conditions.

Serotonin Also known as 5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HT). Hugely important neurotransmitter, even though 90% of what’s in your body is actually in your gut! It’s suspected to be linked to feelings of wellbeing and happiness. Most antidepressants are aimed at increasing the levels of serotonin in the brain.

Dopamine This is another very important neurotransmitter. There are many dopamine pathways in the brain, one of the main one relates to reward motivated behaviour. Severe loss of dopamine is also related to the movement difficulties in people with Parkinson’s.

Noradrenaline (Norepinephrine); The general function of noradrenaline is to increase arousal and alertness, but it can also increase restlessness and anxiety. It’s raised when the body is stressed, and it’s part of the reason that chronic stress is considered such a bad thing; consequences include sleeplessness, loss of libido, gastrointestinal problems, impaired disease resistance, and depression.

Glutamate It’s an excitatory neurotransmitter, used to transmit nerve impulses between nerve cells. It is also the most abundant neurotransmitter in the human brain. It’s involved in learning, memory and forming new connections during brain development.

Gamma Amino Butyric Acid (GABA) It comes from metabolising glutamate, and the most important inhibitory neurotransmitter.

Est.

12 1997

FEATURES

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Hypocrisy in The Age of Trump Méabh McMahon - Staff Writer

Imagine for a second that Donald Trump lost the electoral college but won the popular vote by almost two million votes. The world would hold its breath, waiting to see would we get the ‘peaceful transfer of power’ we’ve heard so much about. The electoral college would be hailed as a masterpiece at preventing demagogues from rising to power.

Imagine he did concede, but then a farright figurehead (we’ll say Ted Cruz) decided that we need a recount in certain critical states. Not, of course, to help Trump, but because of shady theories of Russian hacking, that the election is rigged, that it was stolen. Imagine that Trump’s team got onboard with these efforts, ostensibly to keep an eye on things, but really legitimising the idea that it was foul play, that Hillary couldn’t ‘really’ have won. There would be murder in the press The headlines would be written in red, a witty one probably saying “Sore Loser Trump Encourages Fans To See Election as Rigged. Sad!” In the weeks before the election we heard how dangerous these ‘rigged’ claims were, because it would tarnish the legitimacy of the office. Now you have liberals begging electors to go against the rules of that society, and to

choose Hillary anyway. You have millions raised for recount efforts in order to erode Trump’s landslide lead in the electoral college. You have avid supporters of Hillary saying Trump is not their president, and that he holds no le-

“You have avid supporters of Hillary saying Trump is not their president” gitimacy for them.

It is too easy for us to rationalise this within our pre-existing biases, to say that Trump is different, that we have a duty to attack the rules when the rules don’t work out our way. This isn’t good enough. Not only does it expose people as only standing by their beliefs as long as it’s convenient - a claim that’s been lobbed at conservatives for decades - but it also exposes a certain egotism that is incredibly dangerous within the left.

Right now, it is absolutely toxic to say Trump has some merit. They attack white women for ‘betraying’ others; as if every single voter doesn’t vote in their own interest, for who represents personally them best, in hopes that we will be able to aggregate those preferences into some kind of platform. I can tell you that men aren’t voting on expanding abortion; white women aren’t voting on helping African Americans;

straight African Americans aren’t voting on trying to protect marriage equality.

Those groups might like and agree with those stances, but those are mostly secondary preferences, not policies that decide the vote. People broadly care about things that are likely to affect them personally; the economy, crime, terrorism.

Continuing to shame people for self-prioritising when voting sounds principally vindicating. It’s also incredibly stupid.

Hillary Clinton did not differentiate herself from Obama on economic policies that have left people behind. She was untrustworthy on trade, and had nothing new to say on crime and terrorism. It is not good enough to mock and decry those who sought a chance a betterment, at change, a chance for policies that might reach them crafted by a person who spoke to them, rather than

“Right now, it is absolutely toxic to say Trump has some merit.” assuming their support without offering anything in return.

Lots of Trump’s proposals are awful.

We should not have to stand over the roll-back of reproductive rights, or the targeted laws based on race or religion.

However, unless we can figure out that millions of people voted for Trump without specifically voting for these things, then we’re screwed. Yes, Trump voters are complicit in having those policies become more likely, and that’s bad. No, calling them individually racist or sexist is not helpful. No, shaming them because the personal decisions they made is not going to win them over.

Assuming that people are altruistic for nothing in return is going to result in continuing election failure. Shaming people for wanting a job, for wanting to reduce crime, to stop terrorism, is going to make them hate you even more.

It’s hard to accept Trump’s election. It’s probably even harder to realise that people will not vote for your dogma just because you say that it’s objectively correct, especially when small criticisms have been within your community for so long.

You do not have to support Trump, nor do you have to stop wishing it went the other way. If you want to actually do something about it though, reassessing the smug assumptions of the left will get you much further than any recount in Wisconsin.

13

issue 6

Volume 2

Editorial

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14

rain, if there is an intelligent designer somewhere in the universe, then they must have seen me looking a bit too pleased with myself before I set off on the thirty-minute walk home, because someone flipped a switch and the heavens opened up. It started spitting rain and I, being thrifty, had collected that day’s purchases exclusively in paper bags. About halfway home, the bags all fell asunder and I was forced to park myself by the side of the road and try to come to any sort of solution, of which there was pretty much none. I just had to bundle everything up in my arms and continue onwards.

A few Christmases ago I took the opportunity to conduct a small psychological experiment because I had far too much free time. I had been reading online articles on the positive effects of altruism that week, and far be it from me to believe anything I read on the Internet without fact-checking it in some way (and, seriously - you should, too).

I decided I was going to test the hypothesis that more generous people are happier people by spending all my money on friends and family. Mind you, I didn’t have a job at the time and had about €100 to my name collected from various Christmas cards - meaning that I was technically giving a few people presents worth at least 50% less than the presents they had given me, but at the time I understood the gift economy even less than I do now, so stop applying your college-educated logic to my life, you nerd. I was trying to do a good deed.

I headed into town ready, willing and able to spoil my loved ones with knick-knackery they most likely threw in a drawer and forgot about on St Stephen’s Day. I threw caution to the wind: dolla-dolla bills were flying around; I was making it rain all over the shopping centre. By the time I was heading home, it was 4PM and already beginning to get dark, but the cold didn’t bother me and I was actually feeling good. Maybe my experiment would have worked, if not for what came next.

Speaking making

of it

Bearing in mind that I had been on my feet all afternoon in very cheap shoes, every step I took from that moment was like walking across a bed of knives (alright, yes, I’m exaggerating for dramatic effect, but I just really want to hammer home the pathetic fallacy inherent in this situation). By the time I collapsed through my front door, my arms were about to fall off; I was soaked; my feet were destroyed; I was a broken woman. All for the sake of science.

Look, I love Christmas. I love the fairy lights and the woolly jumpers and the Disney films and the hot chocolate - though I’m personally more of a mocha gal, you need that bit of a kick - but the holiday itself can often be a bit of an anticlimax, can’t it? This is a wonderful time of year; the most wonderful time of the year, some say, but sometimes things won’t go to plan. Just make sure you’re keeping an eye out for your loved ones; don’t fret if you eat too many chocolates; and if you have to talk politics at the dinner table - Norway knighted a penguin in 2008. That’s a nice little mood-lightener for you. You’ve made it this far, my friends, and from me and all of us Byliners, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Also, if you were wondering about the results of my psychological study - I’d rate my overall levels of life satisfaction at a good 85% after I took a nap, and if that’s not a success, I don’t know what is.

Lauren ll Mulvihi

HOROSCOPES Aries (Mar. 21st - Apr. 19th) - I know the stars make a lot of fascism based jokes at the expense of your sign, but they’re now desperately imploring you to ignore all that and embrace Full Communism. Lucky website of the week: The WikiHow article on how to become a Communist.

Taurus (Apr 20th - May 20th) - We get it dude, you play gaelic football, good for you but it’s 3° out. Put on some fucking full length pants for christs sake. Having frostbitten testicles is certainly not ‘banter’. Lucky shit present of the week: A gift voucher for somewhere that sells actual trousers.

Gemini (May 21st - June 21st) - The good news is that a gemini is due to become the next president. The bad news is that you share your sign with Donald Trump. Maybe he’ll take that into account and spare you when he instigates the apocalypse. Lucky beauty product of the week: Some fake tan to match our new tangerine overlord.

Cancer (June 22nd - July 21st) - The stars really want you to adopt seven small puppers.

Don’t question it. Just do it. It’s for the greater good of the universe, I swear. Lucky overpriced subscription box: That one specifically for dogs that costs €30 a pop, but seven of them.

Leo (July 22nd - Aug. 21st) - I know during this stressful time you may feel tempted to have a cathartic wank in the library bathrooms, but just know that the universe knows what you’re up to. The universe is always watching...Lucky discount sex toy of the week: A case of 30 vibrators for £30 (+p&p) from poundland.

Virgo (Aug. 22nd - Sept. 22nd) - Do you ever think about that guy who slipped on ice live on RTÉ six years ago? You must find him, for he is your true soulmate. Godspeed my

with Mystic Greg

virgo friend, godspeed. Lucky seasoning of the week: Salt.

Libra (Sept. 23rd - Oct. 22nd) - Heard you were talking shit about the musings of the stars. Watch your back mate, Jupiter’s got a mean right hook. Lucky concept of the week: An umbrella to provide some extra shade.

Scorpio (Oct. 23rd - Nov. 21st) - I know the cold darkness of assignment and exam month can seem like an awful mountain to climb, but in times of stress just remember this: The Kane won an architecture award once. Anything is possible. Lucky architectural feature of the week: multiple sets of bathrooms.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22nd - Dec. 21st) - This stars are seeing a heaping helping of birthmas in your future. I, for one blame consumerism for this abomination. Oh those cheeky capitalist biys and their commercialisation of a religious festival. Lucky recyclable of the week: occasion-inappropriate wrapping paper.

Capricorn (Dec. 22nd - Jan. 20th) - Between your birthday and Christmas this winter break is going to be an amazing time for you.

Unless you work in retail or hospitality sector.

In that case the stars predict hell. Lucky legal entitlement of the week: Your 15 minute paid break.

Aquarius (Jan. 21st - Feb. 19th) - No, printed out memes are not an acceptable secret santa gift, even if you max out the budget on printing. Why would you even think that? Lucky gift idea of the week: Literally anything else.

Pisces (Feb. 20th - Mar. 20th) - Sometimes you just need to go into the middle of the forest and scream. It’s okay man, we get it. Do your thing. Lucky sweet of the week: Some soothers or lozenges to heal your post-screech throat.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

1515

The 12 Commandments of 12 Pubs.

With less than a month to the big day, it’s now truly Christmas; advent calendars, bad jumpers and yes friends, it also means the great pilgrimage that is the 12 Pubs of Christmas. This may be your first time heading on this extraordinary alcoholic adventure, but fear not: the Express has got your back.

I’m your friendly (most of the time) neighbourhood bartender; I’ve worked in the city during 12 Pubs season in the past, and let me tell you - I have seen some things.

My advice is going to range from essential, to general, to ‘how to not piss us off’.

Remember, bartenders are the gatekeepers of the ‘seasonal joy’, so it’s best to stay on our good side. Follow my advice and you should have a sufficiently good time with minimal negative consequences. *Disclaimer: some of this advice is subjective, and can apply more or less depending on the establishment. I cannot and do not speak for every bartender or every bar ever.

Know Your Route - Don’t think: “eh, we’ll figure it out as we go along,” Cork City is sprawled out and very hilly in places. This isn’t ideal when you’re doing lots of drinking. It’s also worth knowing the bars you intend to go to on the night. Will they be 21s, and you’re bringing some 19 year olds? Are they expensive? Are they big enough to hold ye? Like, the Hi-B is the size of a sitting room; it’s not built for 30 students.

Two Forms, Please - For the love of God, please bring at least two forms of ID with you. Preferably one (but ideally both) government issued, legally valid, and with a visible date of birth on them. Legally valid forms of ID include: your passport, the garda age card, or a driving license. If you

haven’t got two of the above, bring one and something else. Your student card is not a legally valid form of ID, and if it’s all you bring you could be refused service.

Don’t Pre-drink - This should go without saying, but apparently it doesn’t: Do. Not. Pre. Drink. The point of pre-drinking is to save money. The point of 12 pubs is to buy twelve alcoholic beverages in twelve venues. Pre-drinking isn’t gonna save you any money, it’s just gonna make you very drunk very early, and possibly very messy.

Avoid.

“ Pre-drinking isn’t gonna save you any money, it’s just gonna make you very drunk very early” Don’t complain about the prices - This is one of the most irritating things bartenders have to deal with. I’m gonna say it for everyone nice and clear right now: Bartenders have zero input on the price of what they are serving. None. Your whining won’t make it any cheaper for you. If you can’t afford to do 12 pubs, you really don’t have to.

Please, No Giant Groups - As a bartender, 12 Pubs feels like a warzone anyway.

When ten plus people descend on us at once it becomes so, so much worse. We can only make one, or at a stretch two, drinks at a time. It’s hot, it’s crowded, you’ll be waiting ages. It’s better for everyone if you cap it at about eight, please.

Be Nice to the Staff - A lot of us are on nine to twelve hour shifts with sparse breaks due to how packed it’ll be. Most of us are on minimum wage, or just about above it. You can go home whenever, but we’re here un-

til 3AM at best, and we’ll probably have to clean some amount of carnage before we see our beds. Bartending is not as easy as it looks, and it gets so much worse at this time of year. If you’re nice to us, we’ll be nice to you, okay?

No Snapping, Clicking, Whistling and/or Yelling at the Bartenders - this is sort of an add-on from above, but it’s so important it gets its own point. If you snap your fingers, click your tongue, whistle, yell, wave or do anything otherwise obnoxious to get a bartender’s attention when it’s visibly busy, you will be served last. We can’t do anything about how busy it is. Start being rude and we’ll just straight up avoid you. We’re stressed enough as it is, we don’t need this.

Order Smartly - If you want to be served quickly, and not piss off the bartenders, here’s some top tips. Know what you’re going to order, preferably before you start queuing, and at least before you get to the front of the queue. Avoid complicated drinks if possible; order stouts (Beamish, Murphy’s) first, as they’re poured in two stages so they can ‘settle’. Order in rounds, it makes the bar way less packed, and queues are kept down.

Tip If You Can - If you tip us, we’ll forgive you for being a bit awkward, complicated or rude. As I said earlier, most of us are on minimum wage or just above, so tipping makes our day. It doesn’t have to be much, either; you’re students, you’re broke, if you can’t afford to, that’s fine - but if you can, please do.

If Someone Is Harassing You, Let Us Know - If someone is grabbing your arse, hassling you for the shift, yelling abuse at you - whatever the issue - let us know. La-

dies, if you don’t feel comfortable going to a male security person, find a female member of staff. As a female bartender, I have had to step in once or twice in the past. We honestly don’t mind. Plus, we get it. Similarly, if you see something off (someone putting something into someone’s drink, someone taking drugs, etc) say it to us. We want everyone to have a good time and feel safe.

Be Sensible - Know your limits. If you need to go home, go home. If you’re a lightweight, ask for half-pints (we don’t mind), or go for less-strong shots like apple sourz, Baileys, Malibu. Sneak an alcohol-free beer in if you feel you’ve had too much (Erdinger, Becks Blue and alcohol-free Kopparberg are widely stocked). If anyone judges you for doing any of the above, tell them to get fucked. In fact, you don’t have to drink alcohol at all. Even if they mock you at 9, they’ll be thankful at 2 when you’re sober enough to walk them home without falling into the fountain outside Hillbillys.

Mind Your Friends - We all have one lightweight or messy friend. Keep an eye on them. Make sure you have everyone before you move on. Ask people to message into a group chat when they’re home.

I know it can be like herding cats, but it’s worth it. It’s little things like that that can make a lot of difference.

Film & TV

16

16

Super Special Premature Christmas Sidebar

A Week’s Worth of Tears

What to Watch?

I’m not the best when it comes to Christmas movies - I hate the cheese - so I’m going to talk about movies coming out between now and when we come back from Christmas break. So, have a good one, and enjoy all these movies of high standards which will likely feature in the Academy Awards, Golden Globes etc. come February.

Silence Scorsese’s magnum opus.

With a leading acting force in the form of Liam Neeson, Andrew Garfield, and Adam Driver, I fully believe that Silence is part of a duo of movies which will dominate any form of awards early next year. Scorsese has been slowly working away on this movie for two decades now – this has been the one he has always wanted to make, and will make to perfection.

La La Land If anyone reads this sidebar, I always reference this because of the hype. A modern day musical with Ryan Gosling, and Emma Stone – perfection.

From Damien Chazelle, director of Whiplash, comes a film set around a number of musical tones again. With a very jazz-oriented atmosphere, it will be an emotionally driven film, adding to the collection of expertise that Chazelle has collected in such a short career. Again, this was a passion project similar to Silence, but

Aaron Frahill – Film & Television Editor

So I went and asked the fine people of the UCC Express about the movies that left them in actual tears. Here’s a couple of our staff: Edward Scissorhands – Sophie McKenzie (Fiction Editor) When I was young, I was the tough nut of my family. E.T., Titanic, even the notoriously child-traumatizing parent deaths of Lion King and Bambi all failed to wring even a sniffle out of me. Then, one fateful day, my parents switched on Tim Burton’s pastel-slathered masterpiece, Edward Scissorhands – and by the time it was over, I had my head buried in a cushion, desperately trying to hide my tear-streaked face from their judging eyes.

It’s a bit tricky to pinpoint what exactly about this film makes me teary-eyed as opposed to, say, something like Marley and Me (although now that I think about it, Depp’s Edward does have something of a ‘kicked puppy’ look about him. Even before the film’s climax, there’s a faint melancholy to the film that never lets you forget how tragic Edward’s situation really is; probably my favourite scene, and the one which started me sniffling on my first viewing, is the one where Vincent Price’s kindly inventor (in one of his last roles, which adds another layer of poignancy) leaves his bewildered, lost creation unfinished and abandoned. The tear-jerking moments are far from over,

however, and by the time the bittersweet ending rolls around, not even Danny Elfman’s achingly gorgeous score will be able to mend your shattered emotions.

Rugrats in Paris – Lauren Mulvihill (Byline Editor) Nowadays, the Rugrats are probably best known for the internet conspiracy theories they’ve inspired, but back when I was a kid I had all their films on video. There was one movie in particular where the characters ended up in Paris (aptly named Rugrats in Paris) which featured a very sad scene where Chuckie, who lived in a single-parent household with his father, sat on an aeroplane thinking about his deceased mother to a backdrop of melancholy piano music. I first saw it when I was about five or six, and I just lost it. Tears everywhere. He was just so sad.

All of the movies…ever – Stephen Spillane (Staff Writer/Golden Oldie) I am not sure why I agreed to write this as I cry the moment a character dies, or someone is re-united with their true love. Basically, I cry at happy moments as well as the sad ones. And sometimes just at the oddest moments: I was recently at the cinema and I cried at the trailer for the A Street Cat Named Bob! Films that stand out that I cried a lot at are Brokeback Mountain (bad idea to go on a date to that one);

Schlinder’s List (watched that at school, not a good look for me); and Marley and Me left me a blubbering mess at the end.

All in all, I try to avoid films that make me cry, but that can be tough as I cried during Star Wars: The Force Awakens. (Film & TV editor’s note: I shed a single tear at the rolling text during The Force Awakens). (Editor-in-Chief’s note: I think we all did).

Children's movies – Laura O"Connor (Staff Writer/Grown-up) Most Disney films make me cry. To be honest, I wish I was joking. They just get to me, man. That scene where Belle and Beast dance to Mrs Potts singing? I bawl (though admittedly Angela Lansbury singing it solo also gets me; dancing is optional). Ariel walking out of the sea to meet Prince Eric?

Floods. Simba finally ascending Pride Rock as the King? Tsunamis. Aladdin setting the Genie free? You guessed it. Similarly, the end of the Muppet Movie also has me in tears every goddamn time – yes, that one with Jason Segel. Judge me all you want: it’s great, and also makes me cry. Just in case you didn’t grasp that.

1717

FILM & TV Editor - Aaron Frahill

Birth of a Nation 2016 Review Philip Hayden – Film & Television Writer

For the longest time, it seemed America’s dark history with slavery was not on Hollywood’s to-do list. Then, in 2012 and 2013, we were hit with two gritty, unblinking looks at slavery in 19th century America: Django Unchained and 12 Years a Slave.

These films seemed to perfectly coincide with, if not usher in, a new chapter in the modern debate regarding African-American civil rights.

Nate Parker’s 2016 Birth of a Nation shares its name, subject matter but little else with D.W. Griffith’s infamous 1915 epic; a film that spewed such horrifically racist propaganda that it resulted in the reformation of the Ku Klux Klan. Far from being a remake, this 2016 film instead tells the story of Nat Turner, the real-life slave and preacher who led a slave rebellion against the ruling white class in Virginia in 1831. Somehow, instead of depicting the birth of a nation, this 2016 flick just ends up depicting the birth of a new clichéd movie-genre.

Somehow, after just two other movies, Birth of a Nation 2016 manages to make the genre of gritty American slavery films feel formulaic, and even goes on to establish standard tropes for the genre: Inbred-look-

ing white characters dropping n-bombs; black characters saying ‘Yes suh’; long shots of cotton fields; Horrific torture scenes; The obligatory white character who feels bad for the slaves; Tons of bible scripture...The set, the costume-design, even the characters feel ripped straight from Django Unchained.

Even the violence in the film feels Tarantino-esque. Countless bottles of ketchup are splattered as blood explodes out the back of heads with a single shot from 19th-century pistols.

The film also seems to think that the audience requires 90 minutes (out of a 120-minute film) of exposition in order to justify the massacre of the white ruling class. The film hits you with justification after justification for the killing. Just when you think the film can’t throw any more justification at you (spoiler alert) Grandma dies! It’s bordering on parody.

Parker delivers a competent performance as Turner, but the rest of the acting falls flat and it’s easy to see why. Parker does a triple threat on Birth of a Nation - directing, writing and starring in the film - and he insists on keeping the camera firmly squared on himself. As a result, the rest of the characters fail to get the screen time necessary to flesh out their characters or to give any memorable performances. Parker also attempts to include a spiritual element to the film, both Christian and African, but this

proves to be only skin-deep. Rather than exploring the real Nat Turner’s borderline Messiah complex, the director instead splices in a bit of angelic choral music and some indigenous African drumming. The rest of the time, the soundtrack comprises of lifeless orchestral pomp and swell, the kind one associates with Oscar-fodder of the early 2000s.

tually brought about the end of slavery; the real-life killing of women and children at the hands of the slaves is not included; and for some reason, Parker decides to include a fictional rape scene of which there is no record. Unfortunately, even if the film were a piece of cynical propaganda, this wouldn’t save the film. If, for a moment, you separate the horrific racist propaganda from the 1915 original, you are still left with a film Ultimately the most puzzling aspect of that technically and aesthetically pushed Birth of a Nation is its message; rather than the boundaries of what cinema was capable making a film on Martin Luther King Jr. or of. If you do the same with Parker’s Birth of Jesse Jackson, men who attempted to pro- a Nation, you are left with two hours of climote equal civil rights by peaceful means, chéd storytelling, cardboard cut-out charParker instead decided to make a film acters, and an unclear overall message. about Nat Turner, a far bloodier and more violent figure in African-American histo- On a broader level, 2016’s Birth of a Nary. The question is: why? Is this supposed to tion fails to say anything new about Afribe indicative of the current mental state of can-American civil rights. There is nothAfrican-American civil rights activists? Is ing here you haven’t seen violence the only way we can achieve equal- in Django Unchained, 12 ity? The film would seem to think so, and Years a Slave or Roots. On certainly doesn’t prompt the audience to a smaller level, the film is ask themselves whether this violence really a missed opportunity. achieved anything.

Turner’s story is a truly fascinating one, and one Of course, it is very much possible that that was begging for a bigthis film is meant to be an ironic piece of screen adaptation, but propaganda, subtlety mocking the 1915 unfortunately original. Just as the original Birth of a Na- comes attion attempted to validate violence against t a c h e d African-Americans, it’s possible that this here to a film is doing the converse, attempting to lacklusvalidate violence against white Americans. tre film.

This could very much be the case as Parker Such a explicitly cherry-picks his facts in the film: pity. the director ignores the (arguably) far more important role of the abolitionists who ac-

MUSIC

18

18

BEST XMAS SONGS 1. Jingle Bell Rock – Mean Girls.

Besides the fact that EVERYONE loves Mean Girls, their enactment of this song rips the piss out of the fact that everything seems to be overly sexy these days.

2. Chestnuts Roasting - Arcade Fire. Was anyone else unaware that Arcade Fire actually have a Christmas album? Granted, this song is fairly crappy, but it just sounds like they’re having such a good time.

3. Happy Holidays, You Bastard Blink 182. “It’s Christmas Eve/And I’ve only wrapped two fucking presents” – We’ve all been there.

4. Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas - Michael Bublé.

Don’t deny it – we all love a bitta Bublé at Christmastime.

5. Walking in the Air - from 'The Snowman'. Melting snow and melting hearts.

6. Merry Christmas Everybody Slade. Impossible to not belt the chorus of this out, no matter how many times it’s played.

7. Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End) - The Darkness. Dem trousers though.

8. Last Christmas - Wham! An absolute classic.

9. The Little Drummer Boy - Bing Crosbie and David Bowie. David Bowie is reason enough, but the entire video for this song brings it to a whole other level.

10. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues ft Kirsty MacColl. “You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap, lousy faggot” .

Hardwired... to provide fan service J.J. Lee - Music Writer

I was cautiously optimistic about the release of Metallica’s 10th studio effort, Hardwired...To Self-Destruct, and in a way, I was quite pleased. The LA thrash legends have hardly been prolific when it comes to releasing new material over the past 20 years or so. 2003’s St Anger was undeniably awful, whilst the follow-up, Death Magnetic (2008), was a welcome return to the band’s roots. Hardwired follows a similar vein, yet it’s hard to escape the feeling that Hetfield & Co. have become somewhat of a tribute act of their former selves.

The album does have its bright points, however: the lead single, ‘Hardwired’, is vintage Metallica - aggressive vocals, galloping riffs and a frantic pace contribute to a great curtain raiser. ‘Moth Into Flame’, the second single, is another unmistakably ‘Talica song, and ‘Atlas Rise’ is a personal favourite featuring all the usual trademarks: Hetfield’s bellow, Hammett’s ferocious soloing and Ulrich’s unique brand of drumming. A problem that the band have consistently struggled with over the years is their fondness for almost over-indulging with song length; this issue arises again on Hardwired. Out of the 12 tracks on this

release, 9 of them ramble on for more than six minutes. Songs like ‘Dream No More’ and ‘Now That We’re Dead’ suffer from this chronic Metallica hamartia, which repeatedly saps the energy from any half-decent effort, leaving it feeling flat and, to an extent, pointless.

In the weeks leading up to the album launch, guitarist and wah-pedal enthusiast Kirk Hammett stated that Guns ‘N Roses have “turned into somewhat of a nostalgia act, which, to me, is kind of sad.” The same argument could be made for Metallica at this point. Hardwired... To Self-Destruct is a

The Killers Announce Christmas Album and Latest Holiday Song Chris McCahill - News Editor

Every year for the last 10 years The Killers have released a Charity Christmas single with all proceeds going to the RED foundation, the charity co-founded by U2 frontman and ‘woman of the year’ Bono that works to eradicate AIDS in Africa.

It’s a Christmas tradition that started out in ‘06 with ‘A Great Big Sled’, and has continued ever since, with the recent editions being ‘Joel the Lump of Coal’ (a collaboration with Jimmy Kimmel), ‘I Feel It In My Bones’, and the Owen Wilson-approved ‘Christmas in LA’. This year, the Las Vegas group have collected all of those tracks, plus a brand-new cover of the Bing Crosby classic ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’, and have released them as a holiday album

called ‘Don’t Waste Your Wishes’.

the song with a story of his family moving from Henderson, Nevada to Payson, The Killers have chosen to eschew killer Utah, where he first met Hansen. He then Santa Clauses and anthropomorphized tells the story of how the teacher sang ‘I’ll lumps of coal for a more traditional out- Be Home For Christmas’ acapella to his ing with ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’. It fourth-grade class, and it struck such a also marks their 11th Christmas single. chord with the singer that he brought him The song was written by Kim Gannon and along for this year’s holiday release.

Walter Kent, and famously recorded by Bing Crosby in 1943, to honour soldiers ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ is available who were spending the holidays over- for download now, with all proceeds benseas defending their country; the song efiting Bono’s (RED) charity. Also availhas since become a Christmas standard. able for download is Don’t Waste Your This take features a spoken word intro Wishes, an 11-song collection of The Killfrom frontman Brandon Flowers, as well ers’ holiday output featuring Elton John, as contributions from his fourth-grade Richard Dreyfuss, and Mariachi El Bronx teacher, Ned Humphrey Hansen - Flowers that will be released as a limited edition credits Hansen with teaching him about CD on December 9, available exclusively the holiday song. Flowers introduces through the band’s website.

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music Editor - Cailean Coffey

24K Magic:

WORST XMAS SONGS

Bruno Mars

Maebh Butler - Music Writer

Ruth O’Dwyer - Music Writer

1. Drummer Boy - Justin Bieber ft. Busta Rhymes. Why this was ever thought to be a good idea is beyond me.

Bruno Mars, the 31-year old Hawaii native and ‘Uptown Funk’ sensation, has released his first album in four years: 24K Magic. I really enjoyed each and every song that featured on this upbeat, funky release, and the album is completely different from the rest of the charts in terms of the genre and eras of influence.

trigued me. The rhythm that seeps through Mars revealed that his inspiration for writ- every one of these songs reveals that 24K ing such an album sprung from his love Magic is not based on our world today, conof R&B acts like New Edition, Jodeci, and trasting perfectly with what regularly gets a few others. Mars thoroughly enjoyed his radio play. It is not only the lyrics and music childhood and loved growing up in the 90s, that illustrate the 90s era theme, but also the saying that it was one of the best times that dress code that is on display on the album he has ever had - a feeling that he wanted to cover, with Mars reportedly styling himself capture in this new album. The 90s, for him, in this way when composing the album. can be quickly summarised as having plenty of hip-hop, funk, live shows and amazing The only guest artist whose voice features in parties. From what I know about the decade, his album is Halle Berry, who can be heard in it is perfectly described through the lyrics the oh-so-soothing ‘Calling All My Lovelies’. and music of this nostalgic album, which in- R&B icon Babyface helps out a bit with the

closing track ‘Too Good to Say Goodbye’, and T-Pain co-wrote the catchy ‘Straight Up and Down’. The album highlight has to be the title track itself, with its smashing sounds, and a music video that just adds to its greatness and grooviness.

Mars will be performing in the 3Arena on the 29th and 30th of April next year, supported by Anderson Paak. This tour is his first since 2013’s hugely successful Moonshine Jungle World Tour, an international blockbuster that sold 2 million tickets worldwide across 155 sold-out venues.

2. Christmas Song - Alvin and the Chipmunks. Unless you’re seven years old, this will never be okay. Never.

3. Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas - John Denver. One of the most depressing Christmas songs I’ve ever heard.

4. Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt.

While Eartha Kitt sings beautifully, this song suggests all kinds of daddy issues.

5. I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - Jackson 5. The entire concept of this song is just weird.

6. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid. Give it a rest already.

Childish Gambino

Kanye Story of The Week

Childish Gambino is about to release his eagerly-awaited third studio album. Awaken, My Love is unlike anything Gambino has ever released. Off the basis of the first two singles, this album is setting up to be his most experimental and dark album yet. Both singles, ‘Redbone’ and ‘Me and Your Mama’, hint at a less rap- and more vocal-driven album, and much darker, heavier themes and beats. Following the success of his TV show, Atlanta, Gambino (real name Donald Glover) is at the peak of his power, and is one of 2016’s biggest success stories.

One of Kanye’s standout hits, Gold Digger, was originally never meant for Kanye. The song was first written at Ludacris’s house in Atlanta for a Shawnna album Kanye was producing, but Shawnna passed on the track.

The verse was originally written as though from the female point of view, and had been recorded by Shawnna but was later scrapped.

When the track was rejected, Kanye loved it so much that he decided to keep the song and change the lyrics slightly to show the male point of view. The song went to number one in the U.S. almost immediately upon release, and broke the record for the most digital downloads in a week at 80,000. It remains the fastest-selling digital download of all time.

Run The Jewels Run The Jewels, the rap group featuring Killer Mike, El-P and DJ Trackstar, have been releasing singles in the run-up to the release of their album RTJ3.

Given Killer Mike’s avid support of Bernie Sanders, this is likely to be a very political album, and the singles ‘Talk to Me’ and ‘2100’ point to a crisply produced and beat-heavy comeback for the band.

On the evidence we’ve gotten so far, there is Likely to be a surprise release, and inevlittle to suggest that this trend won’t contin- itably for free, like all their previous albums, this is one to be on high alert for. ue into 2017.

7. Christmas Tree - Lady Gaga.

The entire song is a sexual innuendo, and not a very subtle one at that.

8. Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer - Elmo and Patsy.

Just plain sad.

9. Mistletoe - Justin Bieber.

Sorry to all you Beliebers out there but JB should probably leave Christmas alone.

10. Mistletoe and Wine - Cliff Richard Have you seen the video for this?

Interview

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“KIND WOMEN AND OTHERS OF THE LINEN0-FITTING TRIBE”: Interview with Kate Lister of ‘Whores of Yore’

have all been called whores.”

According to Lister, one benefit of Twitter as an educational platform is the opportunity it affords academics to interact with the public on a large scale. The website gives users the ability to open a dialogue with people from all walks of life: Lauren Mulvihill - Byline Editor

If you’ve been a frequent visitor to Twitter recently you may have noticed the emergence of an unusual trend. For once, this has less to do with Donald Trump and everything to do with the odd bit of Victorian pornography that’s started wheedling its way into your feed somewhere between the political updates and the dank memes. For that, you have Kate Lister to thank.

Lister, a post-doctoral lecturer at Leeds Trinity University on the history of sexuality with an emphasis on sex workers, has been tweeting snippets from her research under the moniker of Whores of Yore (@ WhoresofYore) since September 2015. In that time, she has amassed over 60,000 followers all eagerly awaiting their daily dose of public domain porn and the definition of such eloquent euphemisms as “sneezing in the cabbage” and “sling-the-jelly” (I’m not going to define them for you, but I’m sure you can figure it out). The feed is fascinating, funny, and often cringe-inducing, and it seems we can’t get enough of it.

“Favourite thing that I’ve posted; d’you know what, I’ve got a real soft spot for the vintage adverts that I do,” Kate says, “and there’s a number of them for Lysol, which was a disinfectant floor cleaner, basically,

from the 1930s to the 1950s - but it was side, given its historical connotations. Well, marketed as a vaginal douche. The adverts Kate has thought about that. for it are amazing, because it’s normally a picture of a wife with her husband leaving “If I was to ‘fess up completely, when I first her, right, and then the headline will be came up with the idea of ‘Whores of Yore’ something like: ‘If only she had remem- it was because ‘yore’ rhymed with ‘whore’,” bered feminine daintiness!’ Her husband she explains. “People started coming back would never have left her if she remem- to me and explaining that it is a very loadbered to clean her vaed word, and it’s a word gina with disinfectant. “They’re so unasham- that is still a term of abuse, They’re so unashamedand sex workers hear it edly awful, I can’t ly awful, I can’t believe believe that they got every single day. Stupidthat they got away with ly, I hadn’t thought about away with that.” that. They were sub[that] as much as I should tly marketed as a contraceptive, because have done, so I was doing some thought douching was a very popular method of into changing the word and maybe changcontraception. Shite, of course; it didn’t ing the name of the feed or something. But work, but that’s what they thought worked.” then I started looking into it – into the actual history of the word – and I thought that Kate Lister is clearly very good at her job, it’s really interesting, just the history bit of and at this point is probably the go-to inter- it. Who gets called that, and why do they get net personality if you have a pressing desire called a ‘whore’? to learn about how the Victorians spent their time in the bedroom (flagellating each “So, I was looking at it more and more and other); how porn actresses styled their pubic I was noticing that it isn’t – that in its orighair in the early years of film (they didn’t); inal use, it didn’t necessarily mean a sex or even historical methods of contracep- worker. It just meant ‘a woman that was tion (“They did have condoms. They had having sex’. It’s used as a term of abuse... So I animal gut condoms that would tie around thought, rather than trying to do away with the end and be reused. But I suppose when it, I’d keep it as a defiant stance, and pin the the option is gonorrhoea or syphilis...”). Her tweet about it to explain that it isn’t a term use of the word “whore”, then, may strike of abuse, but it’s more of a recognition that, you as slightly odd or even on the regressive at one point or another in history, we would

“Twitter gives you that instant reaction, and the fun thing about the feed is it’s not just sex workers that follow it. It’s got broad reach so you can bridge that gap... You can bridge it between normal – well, “normal” – people who know nothing about sex work and then suddenly they can have a dialogue with a sex worker and things. I love that about Twitter, and I think that’s extremely powerful.”

Remaining conscious of the fact that she is tweeting the history of what remains a largely marginalised and stigmatised group is something that is clearly important to Lister, who was recently nominated for Ally of the Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards, and she admits that sex workers “[sometimes] don’t react particularly well to a milk-white academic tweeting their history”. By maintaining an ongoing dialogue between Kate Lister herself, her wider audience, and sex workers, Whores of Yore has the potential to be a strong force for good in terms of changing attitudes towards sex work and sex more generally. As Kate put it, “If I lose the sex workers, if I lose the people whose history I’m tweeting, then it’s all for nothing. Then it’s nothing at all.”

“I think that so much of our current attitude towards sex work is steeped in morality, and it’s steeped in this idea that sex is naughty; sex is bad; we shouldn’t be doing sex,” she

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Interview by Lauren Mulvihill says. “Also, it gets conflated with the issue of sex trafficking, and sexual exploitation often gets conflated with sex work, you see, and that’s something that needs to stop happening. If you’ve been trafficked into the country, and if you’re being forced to have sex, you’re not a sex worker. You’re a victim of rape. That’s something completely different. And we’re not helping victims of trafficking by calling them ‘sex workers’, and we’re not helping sex workers by assuming they’re all trafficked and marginalised. The [anti-sex work stance] is that sex workers are always an extension of a patriarchal society where men think that they can buy women. That is a very blinkered view, because it immediately eliminates men that sell sex and women that buy sex.

Or women that sell sex to other women. Or trans people. It assumes that the only people selling sex are women, the only people buying are men, and it’s not helpful. I think also it’s rooted in this idea that women aren’t in charge of their own sexuality; that they can’t make those choices, that they’re always inherently exploited. But I get it, I get the argument. I don’t agree with it, but I can get it.

“What I think that we all should be agreeing on is that a criminalised environment makes everything more difficult. It makes everything harder. I was speaking to someone from the English Prostitute Collective, and she started sex working… because her son was severely disabled and she couldn’t make ends meet. She started sex work to pay the bills, right? But she found that when she was in a position to not do sex work anymore, there was no help available for her to leave sex work because how do you explain to a new employer what you’ve been doing for the last four years, because there’s so much shame attached to it? She couldn’t seek out benefits or help or any of those things because it’s shame, shame, shame. It makes it harder for people who are abused and vulnerable and maybe being forced or coerced into doing this to leave, because there’s so much shame and stigma attached to it. It shouldn’t be like that. We should be able to at least say to consenting adults: it might not be my choice, but whatever you want to do.

“Human beings are sexual creatures. They want sex, they like sex, and we shouldn’t be judging people. So I hope, I long for the day that that happens – that we can see trafficked people as what they are, which is victims of rape, and it’s terrible and they need

“What I really like about the old porn is… the women actually look like they’re enjoying it. They look like they’re enjoying having sex,” she explains. “They look like they’re enjoying it; it looks like it’s fun. They’ve got hair and little pot bellies and the guys have got penises that are less than fifteen inches long. It’s real sex! And you just don’t see that.

We don’t see that anywhere. We see highly stylised porn that has to fit this quite extreme narrative. That worries me, that that is the dominating version of porn that we have at the moment. It’s not working now, this idea that we shouldn’t talk to children about that.

“I think we need to get to the place where sex is an academic subject in and of itself. I think that, as far as schools go, is we need a lot more than ‘the penis goes into the vagina and then the sperm meets the egg and’ - it’s not enough now. We have to get in there and we have to say ‘this is porn! You’ve probably seen it! But this isn’t real sex, this isn’t normal sex. This isn’t about tenderness or connection or intimacy. You won’t have sex like this – probably’…. What boys and girls think of as ‘normal sexuality’ now is very, very violent, really. Like, young girls are expecting to be slapped and they’re expecting that that’s just part of it and, yeah. Not good.

I would love to go into a school with a pile of Victorian pornography and go, ‘let me talk to your children!’”

In the meantime, we still have a long way to go, and it’s easy to get disillusioned with the current state of things when so many people are directly affected by our love-hate relationship with sex. Will we ever get to a point, I wondered, where we’ll be comfortable enough to deal

“If I lose the sex workers, if I lose the people whose history I’m tweeting, then it’s all for nothing.” help; but consenting adults can choose to buy and sell sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It might not ever be your choice, but let’s not judge people that are. That’s what it is; we’re still caught up with this idea that sex workers – that ugly word, a ‘prostitute’ – that they’re all drug addicts and they’re all seedy and that they’re somehow worth less than other people. That’s where it comes from.”

Our attitudes to sex and sex work are ingrained in society and the legal system – it isn’t difficult to recognise a strange double standard when it comes to Irish laws regulating the sale of sex, for example: prostitution isn’t an offense in and of itself, but the

State has outlawed many of the activities associated with it, such as public solicitation. There’s also reason to see the omission of pornography or mention of anything beyond the mechanics of heterosexual sex in classroom discussions as a cause for concern. Especially when compared with the kind of material Lister posts on Whores of Yore, modern porn has become increasingly extreme even as young people are beginning to turn to it in higher numbers to learn about sex and sexuality. Should we, I asked Lister, be teaching the kind of material covered on Whores of Yore in schools?

with it?

“The thing is, I know it’s really easy to look at where we are and say that we’ve got such a long way to go, and the fight is not over – it’s definitely not over – but we are closer now than we’ve ever been, I think,” according to Kate. “We are moving in the right direction.

I think that’s a really, really important thing to hold on to, and not to stop fighting and not to stop going, but occasionally just to recognise we are closer now than we’ve ever been and we are winning, basically. That’s important.”

GAMING

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Standard Pokemon Nuzlocke Challenge Rules

Pokémon Sun & Moon; The Good, The Bad & The ‘Purugly.’

Barra O’Connor 1. If a Pokemon faints, IT DIES! It cannot be used again, and must be deposited in the PC Box, or released upon death.

2. You must catch the first Pokemon you encounter on each Route. If you fail to catch this Pokemon, either by fainting it or running out of Pokeballs, then you cannot attempt to catch another.

3. If you come across a Pokemon you’ve already caught on another route, you may catch that Pokemon, or you can run away from that Pokemon and keep going until you encounter a Pokemon you haven’t caught before. This is known as a Dupes Clause.

4. You must nickname each Pokemon you catch. This is to start an emotional bond with your Pokemon (and makes it even worse when it dies) 5. If you lose a battle (black out), you can go to your PC Box and train up a new team, if you have the Pokemon to do so. If you want to make the Nuzlocke more challenging, then if you black out, then it’s Game Over.

6. Don’t reset the game if things go wrong. That renders all the above rules pointless.

Kieran Barrett – Gaming Writer

With the release of Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon, there are now 802 confirmed Pokémon, throughout all the games.

802 ridiculous Pokémon names which give me ample material to make terrible puns as I talk you through my thoughts on the latest release in the franchise.

Pokémon Sun and Moon open with a surprisingly large amount of dialogue and cut scenes to set up the story, as you begin your adventure through the region of Alola, the Pokéversion of Hawaii. Nothing totally Onix-pected happens; you choose your starter, you bid your Mom farewell and off you set on your journey.

One small gripe I have is with how much hand-holding and tutorial aspects there are in the early stages of the game. I can understand it, as there are a lot of children who will be playing Pokémon for the first time, but for people like me, who’ve been playing Pokémon for as long as they can remember, an option to skip some of these more tedious sections would be appreciated.

Most of the changes to the game’s core mechanics are “quality of life” improvements.

Gone are the days when one had to consult the various forums of the internet to find out which types were effective against which. The rock-paper-scissors, or should I say water-fire-grass, combat system now lets you see which of your Pokémon’s moves are effective against your opponent’s.

Be it a Tauros (a buffalo-like Pokémon) to break down boulders in your way, or a Charizard (he’s a dragon to me, damn it) to fly you across the map, this new ‘Ride Pager’ system is Absol-utely more fun and engaging than the HM system.

They also introduced a shortcut to throwing a Pokéball, as in two quick presses of a button, you can capture that Pokémon and have it obey your every command. I don’t know what to do with all my free time now that I only have to press two buttons to throw my Pokéball rather than three or four, great job Game Freak!

Perhaps the biggest change the Pokémon Sun and Moon introduce is the decision to remove Gyms and badges from the game.

Instead you travel from island to island in Alola, facing various trials and captains as you ultimately look towards taking down the Kahuna, the toughest trainer on the island. It is a refreshing change, holidaying on these paradise islands, not having to struggle down a linear path of collecting eight badges and catching a legendary Pokémon before saving the world. That is, of course, until you encounter the “sinister” Team Skull, the games antagonist, and you catch a legendary Pokémon and maybe save the world... how many ten year old kids have saved the Pokémon world by now?

Having said that, I think Game Freak have done a good job of keeping each island fresh and interesting, through the variety they added to the Island Trials. The first trial on the starter island has you battle three weakTraversing the world is also made more er Pokémon before facing off against the streamlined, as the need for HM moves has ‘Totem Pokémon’ who is essentially a beefed been removed. Instead of using strength up version of the previous Pokémon. Other to push a boulder, or rock smash to clear trials have you taking photos of Pokémon away the rubble, you now simply summon to get the best score, which is reminiscent a ‘Ride Pokémon’ to help you on your way. of Pokémon Snap, or collecting ingredients

to prepare a Pokémon lure. These additions made it easier for me to play through another Pokémon game, having become slightly jaded of the same ole formula game after game.

Team Skull, as I mentioned, are the games antagonistic group, they are basically your modern day Team Rocket, though no one will ever reach the heights of Jesse and James (literally). While I did find them a-Mew-sing in my first few encounters with them, they quickly became stale. Their quest to steal other people’s Pokémon is altogether too familiar and they come across as laughably pathetic at times. These plots in Pokémon games always irked me as they took me away from the “real” game, my journey to beat the Pokémon league and become the very best, like no one ever was.

There a few other additions, like the Z-moves, which are like the mega-stones of the more recent games, which were used to super power certain Pokémon with temporary further evolutions. You give your Pokémon a Z-crystal, activate your Z-Bracelet, use your Z-move, realise it does barely more damage than the regular moves and never use it again because the animation takes so much time to complete.

Mega-Evolutions were such a dominant feature in the two previous instalments, Pokémon X & Y and Pokémon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire, that it was surprising to see the feature take a backseat in this iteration. Speaking with Eurogamer, Pokémon director Junichi Masuda stated “What we have now is a way for people to use the Pokémon they want to use, so their favourites types, their favourite Pokémon, even those which perhaps weren’t so popular before, now they can focus on their favourites in battle.” At least now players can make their favourite Pokémon more powerful, but it would have been nice to see some new Mega-Evolutions this time around.

Overall, Pokémon Sun and Moon are essentially the same Pokémon experience that we are used to getting with every new release, with a few upgrades here and there to make the game feel more modern and approachable. The game is not without its flaws, but it manages to reinvigorate itself to keep it fresh for the seasoned players but also manageable for newcomers. I’m excited to keep playing after the credits have rolled, to see what new Pokémon await me in my journey to catch ‘em all.

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gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan

CS:GO-f**k yourselves, BBC Eoin Doyle – Staff Writer

The world of eSports has seen a significant rise in both its size and its monetary value within the last 5 years or so. Within Counter Strike alone there has been a huge increase in the viewership and interest in the game since the summer of 2014 alone. With the game at its highest rate of interest ever since the scene began well over a decade ago, the BBC recently decided to write about women within the Counter Strike scene as part of its “100 Women in 2016” series. In their article, as well as their short video documentary which accompanies it, they focused on two of the biggest female names in Counter Strike: Stephanie “MissHarvey” Harvey and Julia “Juliano” Kiran. Both have since distanced themselves from the article, claiming it was misrepresentative of their views and of CS as a whole. Within the article it was clear the focus was not on celebrating the rise of female participation in professional CS but to demonise the scene for the lack of

top female talent. As a Counter Strike fan, and a fan of both Harvey and Kiran’s work within the scene, I would like to do what the BBC should have done and look at what could be done to further the growth of female professional CS. An issue that has been brought up within the scene is that there is not enough female players. This argument tends to be focused on the top tiers of CS, where it is correct to say no female teams or players have made it thus far. However, many see this as damning evidence of the scene as a whole, and never venture deeper to ask why this is the case.

The growth of CS over the last number of years has followed a huge investment from event organisers and organisations who own the teams that represent them. This has allowed for a greater level of professionalism from players, being able to practice the game for dozens of hours a week without having to worry about finance. The number of fully professional female teams is significantly smaller than that of male line-ups but what we have seen over the last 2 years is that once that investment is made in female teams, the quality of their play significantly rises to the standard exhibited by most male teams.

Surely then continued support from large eSports organisations such as Counter Logic Gaming, Team Secret and Team LDLC, as well as more large organisations picking up women’s rosters, will break down any gendered difference within the sport.

It is because of individuals like MissHarvey and Juliano that women in esports are being taken seriously, and are able to compete in mixed tournaments, and for that they should be celebrated as pioneers, not misrepresented by the likes of the BBC for the sake of stirring controversy online.

Review: Sid Meier’s Civilisation VI Stephen Spillane - Staff Writer

Sid Meier’s Civilisation VI from 2K Games is the latest installation of the Civilisation series that I have played since the second instalment of the series on the PlayStation.

This 4X turned based strategy game goes deeper than past games and makes city planning all important. It has also seen huge improvement in graphics and the UI has also been improved to make it easier to play.

The addition of Sean Bean as the narrator for the Civic, Science and Wonder Screens make for a wonderful addition, and really sets the mood for the game.

Gone are the days of building all your wonders and every building possible in one hex, you now have to plan out you your cities with districts to build specific buildings.

For example, you need a campus district to build a library and university, while a commercial district is needed to build markets and banks. This means that location is everything when picking sites for your cities.

Wonders now take up a full hex meaning

that you need to account for this when building them.

Workers, too, have been overhauled, and now can only build three things before being used up, so use these wisely. They can’t build roads anymore, that’s what you need trade routes for, as well as for earning that useful gold.

Whether you’re a life-long Civ player or a complete newbie, the advisor is excellent at guiding you through the basics of the game.

From getting your first trade route up and going (which is how you now build roads) to understanding the districts and civics available to you as you progress through the game.

Diplomacy has seen a major overhaul with each civilisation being giving two aims: One which you know about, and one which you will find out about as you progress your contact with the other civilisations. Also the addition of Eureka moments to speed up research into science and civics is a great way to speed up the acquisition

of new technology or civic cards.

For each of the plays I have had, Theodore Roosevelt (US), Peter the Great (Russia) and Trajan (Rome) have ended up at war with Victoria (GB) and been threatened with deterrents by Gandhi (India), who is as nuke-happy as ever.

Civilisation VI is by far the most in-depth of the Civilisation games to date, and builds heavily on the Religion and Trade components brought in the later games. Forcing you to think about planning your cities adds a huge dimension, as mountains and coastlines limit cities in terms of space to build in in the early game before your borders expand. It is as engrossing as ever and give you many hours of gameplay.

fashion

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Current Style Icon: Kristen Stewart Why I love her refreshing personal style.

Iris Maher- Fashion Editor Kristen Stewart’s fashion choices have steadily impressed me in recent years.

She manages to mix her own personal style of skater/streetwear with current trends. Also incorporating her personality onto the red carpet, she is not afraid to divert from the traditional ball gowns that we usually see.

Stewart prioritises comfort over style - something that is refreshing within celebrity culture- teaming runners with most of her outfits, from Converse and Adidas to Vans.

Skinny jeans are a staple in her wardrobe, wearing them casually and to events with strappy heels.

Not only taking chances when it comes to fashion, Stewart spent the summer months with a cropped blonde bob but has decided to back to her roots with darker hair for the winter months, maintaining the shorter cut.

Comfy Couture Robert O’Sullivan - Editor-in-Chief

Runners Don’t get me wrong, I like wearing boots & high-heels as much as the next beardy man, but sometimes you just need to prioritise comfort & usability. Runners, trainers, tackies; whatever you call them - though they may sometimes stop you from getting into the Old Oak, they will get you from the Western Gateway Building to the Enterprise Centre in record time and comfort. As we move closer and closer to the more rainy seasons you’ll need the grip & usability to get up and down the many hills of Cork.

Plus, when you arrive in late to that 9am lecture in the Connolly sporting your flashy Adidas sneakers people will think you’ve just come from the Mardyke (that’s the big gym-like place).

If you’re reading this, then you’ve unknowingly survived the first half of the college year. As the situation unfolds, and reality dawns on you, you begin to understand a few things: exams aren’t that far away; the Main Rest is much better than the Student Centre; and you don’t have to try that hard to be fashionable in UCC. I mean, yeah, if you’re on a night-out or if you’re the Chairperson of UCC Fashion Soc, you might want to throw on the uncomfortable glad rag or two the odd time, but day-to-day? Nah, you don’t need to wear your sharpest stilettos or double-breasted waistcoat to go to that Sociology tutorial in Connolly. Here is your Byline guide to the limits of social acceptability of the most comfortable options in your wardrobe.

Pyjamas This is where I see myself getting the most Hoodies flack, abuse & negative feedback (all of You’re in college; one of the most stereotyp- which can be sent to Editor@Motley.ie) ical things to do is to buy those hoodies with but I stand by my opinion: it is absolutely the university’s name in a Romanesque perfectly acceptable to wear your pyjamas font. And to buy a lot of them. Honestly, one to college. Ignoring a lot of the classist unof the best parts of getting involved in clubs dertones in most arguments against it, the or societies is the fluffy hoodies with your main argument against it is that it’s a bit name on them. Hell, even order a size or gauche. My answer? Fuck that, dude. Pyjatwo too big: you can use it as a dressing gown mas are comfy af. They’re literally designed when Lavish deliver the 3 pizzas you ordered to be warm, comfortable and relaxing to for that party you’re totally having, or pass it wear, and they’re snug enough to be worn off as a gift from your new not-imaginary under your everyday clothes. Look, I’m not boy/girlfriend. Plus, if you put the hood up - saying you should walk around wearing maybe add some sunglasses - no one will no- your finest Shark onesie (though if I had tice that you didn’t wash your hair or finish one I most definitely would do that) but if your make-up. It’s the perfect accessory to you wear your PJs under your clothes to a hide some well-earned laziness.

9AM, you can slump home and get back

into bed quicker than you normally can.

Ponchos The poncho owes its invention to an area in South America that’s now a part of Peru, and if there’s only one thing we can thank the Andes for, then let it be the poncho.

Ponchos are warm, soft, and can make any thrown-together outfit look like planned, postmodern chic. I was stunned when I discovered that people mainly associate it as a garment meant for women, which makes it the perfect accessory to buck gender norms while looking like an extra from a Spaghetti Western. For clarification’s sake, I’m not talking about the plastic rain ponchos seen at festivals all around the world, but damn - rock those too. Ponchos of all types, forms & shapes are cool.

Wooly Hats, Gloves & Scarves You’d think this was an obvious one, going into December - but Jesus Christ, people, wear warm things. The other day I bought a warm coat & socks while wearing several layers, a scarf and gloves, and walked out of the shop to see a dude wearing a tank top, shorts and flip-flops. Let me tell you, no matter how cool that Hollister t-shirt is, you’re not going to look too cool while hacking up a lung and leaking more fluid from your nose than a dam made of fishnets.

Go to Penny’s or Dunnes, buy some warm, woolly accessories, and stay healthy this winter.

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FASHION Editors - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe and Iris Maher

Party the Christmas Season in Style Iris Maher- Fashion Editor

Christmas party season is now upon us; how exciting! Whether you’re attending a work or college Christmas Party, there are so many options to choose from. Don’t be afraid to outfit-repeat in the New Year - just change your hair and makeup or accessories. You can play it safe or take a risk and leave your comfort zone, it is completely up to you. This is the perfect time to relax and let your hair down.

Sparkles/Sequins Nothing screams ‘party season’ more than a sparkly, glittery dress, most commonly in gold or silver. Apart from the standard short, tight ‘glitter ball’ dress, we are now seeing sequin t-shirt style dresses, a comfortable take on the trend. Sequinned trousers have also arrived this season, and with the variety of colours they are popping up in, they are not for the faint of heart. Add a little glitz to an existing outfit with a sequin clutch or eye catching earrings. Whatever type of item you choose, you will certainly make an entrance.

Metallic Slightly less bold than the glaring sparkles, metallic is a more subdued option, but still quite daring. A metallic playsuit will merge two current trends into one.

My personal favourite is the dark blue or navy metallic shade that has been circulating in recent months. If you’re feeling in-

credibly adventurous, try a metallic suit.

Opt for simple shoes/bag with this option, as the metallic piece will be enough.

reliable to be always in fashion. If, for some unJumpsuits/Playsuits known reaDespite the awkwardness of removing son, you don’t possess a LBD, the suit when you need to go to the toi- I would highly recommend putting time let, jump/playsuits are universally flat- and effort into finding one. You will not tering. There are almost too many styles regret it. to choose from when it comes to this key trend. Sometimes I find playsuits more Velvet comfortable than a dress, in the sense Velvet comes back into fashion every that you can move, dance and socialise single Christmas. It appears on dresses, with ease. Not having to worry about your jackets, jumpsuits, shoes etc. The return dress rising up or accidentally flashing of the 90’s slip dress fits perfectly with the anyone is a huge plus, especially if you are velvet theme, a la Winona Ryder’s red carattending a work Christmas party… pet looks in the early 90’s. Slip dresses are quite easy to style as they look best with Festive Red minimal accessories and are extremely A bright red dress can be a scary option, comfortable. but red is always in style for Christmas.

If it seems too much for you, a two-toned Blazer Dresses dress is a good choice to bridge the gap. New to the scene this year is the blazer Failing this, the top/shirt combination dress. It could be the right choice if your is always a winner. I am currently loving party is a more formal event, or even if the range of bodysuits available on the you just want to try something a little bit market at the moment. Pairing a red/bur- different. Most of the blazer dresses I’ve gundy bodysuit with a navy midi skirt will seen this season are predominantly black allow you to embrace the festive red trend, or white, but perhaps for an event like this but not wholeheartedly. Not planning on a little bit of colour would not go astray. playing it safe? At this time of the year, everything looks better in red. Choose a Shoes style you already love, find it in red, and You don’t have to go the traditional heels you’re ready to go. route to match your Christmas party outfit. Boots, this year, have been an even LBD bigger trend than usual during the winter The Little Black Dress? Easy to style and months. Shops are coming out with boots

in every colour and style imaginable, many taking inspiration from Dolce and Gabbana with rose detailing on the sides. If you’ve decided to go with a little black dress, teaming it will a pair of statement ankle boots would be a great choice.

It is not as scary as wearing an outfit that screams ‘party’. Remember, the most important part of the party is to have fun - it will be difficult to do so if you feel self-conscious about what you’re wearing.

Bags With a Christmas party, you do not need to take the kitchen sink with you. This is your opportunity to downsize. Attending many parties this year? Find a handbag to match them all. A nude clutch will suit most outfits.

Coats/Jackets A coat does not have to be just practical it can add to your outfit. A faux fur shrug or coat will keep you warm and make your party outfit extra Christmas-y.

Accessorizing with Jewellery Don’t forget to accessorize your new outfit, although you don’t want to go overboard and resemble the Christmas tree you happen to be standing next to. Something I like to remember in this situation is a quote from Coco Chanel: ‘when accessorizing, always take off the last thing you

Humour

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Politics: Taoiseach set to repeal the Marriage Equality Act after Leo Varadkar reveals “I’m just not that into you”

What Your Tattoo Says About You

Health: Nutritionists confirm that there is no correct portion size for pasta Fitness: Everything healthy postponed until January 2017 Literature: Katie Price: Reborn shortlisted for the Man Booker prize Science: Great fireballs of the sky not actually the souls of our ancestors, reveals the tribe Shaman Crime: Describing oneself as a ‘Sesh Gremlin’ to be made a criminal offence Tv Listings: RTÉ One, Thursday @ 6PM: RTÉ Six One News. To lighten the mood after several weeks of soul-crushing current events, RTÉ presents the ever-loveable Aengus Mac Grianna stuttering continuously for half an hour

Katya Von Dito

College is the time to express yourself, become yourself, and get up to a lot of shit your parents would be ‘not mad, just disappointed’ at you for. It comes as no surprise, then, that a lot of people get tattooed during their college careers, myself included. Tattoos are a great way to express who you are via art.

Big or small, colourful or monotone, arty or wordy - tattoos can be of anything, about anything you want. Having that level of control over something on your body is incredibly cool and empowering. That being said, they aren’t for everyone and they certainly aren’t something you should be flippant about, because they’re kind-of on your body forever. I’d describe getting one as ‘til death do you part’, but tattoos are known to stick around long after you’re gone, which is kind of fascinatingly gross.

Anyway, if the fact that you’re gonna take them to the grave doesn’t put you off, but you’re still unsure about what to get, I’m gonna give you the lowdown on some of the most common tattoos you’ll see around college and what they’ll say about you. If you have any of the tattoos mentioned below, I’m sorry; I’m sure laser treatment isn’t that painful.

1. Tribal Tattoos: You probably couldn’t name any tribes if asked, but you could definitely name some SICK GYM WORKOUTS TO GET RIPPED, BRO. 2. A Tattoo in the General Area of Your Arse: You are a Top Quality Lad who loves Banter and also probably nandos.

3. An Anchor With The Words ‘Never Sink’: You lack a fundamental understanding of the concept of gravity... or anchors.

4. Sailor Jerry Tattoos: You’re a bit of a

tattoo snob and a wanker. You probably listen to the Smiths a lot.

5. A Faded Tri-Colour: You’d like to think you’re hard enough to be in the ‘RA. You’re probably not, though.

6. A Tattoo Dedicated to Your Nan: You are from the northside.

7. A Meme Tattoo: This will be sooooo funny and cool (for like 3 weeks).

8. A Looney Toons Tattoo: You wanted a tattoo to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ but you also didn’t have any real ideas or money. I know it was only €40, but c’mon man, it’s gonna be a blob in 2 years time.

9. A Deathly Hallows Symbol: You have no originality, are probably incredibly annoying, and definitely had one of those awful fandom tumblrs at one stage (or still do).

10. A Spider Web: You are a neo-nazi OR you didn’t do any research, never found out it was a symbol of neo-nazism, and the person tattooing you either had questionable morals or was afraid of you.

11. Asian Linguistic Character: You like to think you’re ‘spiritual’ and that this means ‘Nirvana’: in reality, it means ‘idiotic pseudo-cultural white person’, or perhaps ‘mayonnaise’.

12. Dream Catcher Tattoo: You’re a ‘free spirit’. You also probably attract a lot of negative spirits now, because, y’know, that’s what dream catchers do.

13. A Minion Tattoo: You are literally the worst person in existence. Or a Facebook aunt. Or both.

14. A Tattoo in an Unreadable Script Font: You wish it was socially acceptable to submit all your assignments in the Lucinda Calligraphy font because it would make them look So Much Nicer.

15. A Tattoo of Your Significant Other’s Name: You either think this relationship is Definitely Forever or that tattoos

aren’t. You are wrong on both counts, sorry.

16. A Tattooed Correction or Cover-up of a Significant Other’s Name: You learned your lesson from above the hard way.

17. A Super Fucking Big and Detailed Tattoo: You have an incredibly high pain tolerance and shouldn’t be fucked with.

18. A Pride Flag Tattoo: You’re just *wipes single tear from eye* so fuckin’ gay man, proudofu.

19. A Tattoo As Gaeilge: Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán Sinn Féin.

20. A Sylvia Plath Tattoo: You like poetry and also being sad, and you probably remember the Leaving Cert fondly.

In all seriousness though, all tattoos are good tattoos as long as they’re not actively discriminatory. Live your best life. Get that ‘dicks out for harambe’ tattoo if that’s what gets you by in this awful, dumpster-fire world. Just please, do us all a favour, and get it in a legible font, with no spider webs involved, and keep your beour’s name away from your body man. It’s awkward for all of us.

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HUMOUR Editor - Lauren Mulvihill

Teresa Mannion: Woman vs. Wild.

Sarah Ryan, Byline Associate Editor

In an effort to create their annual viral smash-hit, RTÉ sends Teresa Mannion into the wild to see what happens.

She’s at it again - the nation’s favourite Regional Reporter for the Midwest is back in action. No longer reporting on the stormy weather of Connacht that launched her television career, Teresa Mannion ventures out to the desolate landscape of the Kalahari Desert to discover what one of the world’s most godforsaken locations has to offer.

The Express gained exclusive access to an interview with the Galway-born star before she began filming. Mannion, who admitted that, while she has minimal survival knowledge, she’s always fancied herself as “a bit of a Bear Grylls.”

This is undoubtedly true. Readers may remember Mannion’s expedition to Galway last year, where she trekked bravely through the harsh weather of Storm Desmond to

deliver the report that sent her viral. Courageous as ever, the star has vowed that she will live in the desert as authentically as possible, taking with her no food and no water, just the trusty Northface raincoat that served her so well while previously reporting on dangerous weather conditions.

four hours, following a mirage of a water source.

possibly a number of nefarious berries she had found earlier in the show.

Of course, the whole of the nation was on the edge of its seat waiting for the star to repeat her winning catch-phrase that launched her into superstardom last year. After momentarily falling unconscious, Mannion’s camWoman vs. Wild sent the Twittersphere into eraman was able to revive her, muttering disarray on Monday night when, during the “They say if you want water, you’ve got to do first five minutes of the show, Mannion the line.” savagely bit into the head of the venomous Puff Adder. One Twitter user wrote - ‘Teresa And finally, the moment we Mannion, #somewoman’. Others chimed in, were all waiting for arrived. adding: ‘I’d like to see Bear Grylls try that!’; Always one for the dra‘Teresa Mannion is one hard fucker’; and matics, Teresa’s voice was ‘Didn’t they say that snake was poisonous?’. not much more than a croaky whisper as she “One Twitter user wrote stared haggardly into the camera. “Don’t - ‘Teresa Mannion, make unnecessary #somewoman’.” journeys... don’t take Other highlights from the show include risks o-”. Unfortunately, the star Mannion’s unsuccessful attempts to start was interrupted by the eruption of some a fire in sub-zero nighttime temperatures black-coloured vomit from her mouth. Exusing only a stone and some twigs, plus wan- perts say this was possibly caused by Mandering, dehydrated, through the desert for nion’s ingestion of the venomous snake, or

RTÉ left viewers on a cliffhanger and ended the show there, but once again Twitter was alight with rave reviews. ‘Hilarious,’ said one user. ‘Better than most of the shite on RTÉ these days’. Others speculated excitedly about Teresa’s whereabouts- ‘Can’t wait for next week!! #WomanvsWild’; ‘what the fuck’; ‘Please someone help this woman’.

“‘Better than most of the shite on RTÉ these days’.”

RTÉ has yet to comment on the success of Woman vs. Wild, but it’s safe to say they’ve found their next big hit.

Fiction

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FICTION Editor - Sophie Mckenzie

Diary of an Urban Birdwatcher

By Sophie Mckenzie Monday A well-named wagtai,windowsill visiting, Was a glimpse of grey, then gone.

God bless him.

Tuesday Started with trilling From a twitchy chaffinch Who lingered longer Hedgerow hopping.

Wednesday Went wild with starlings Screaming evenings full, A fearless family.

Gossips, but good-natured Thursday Hosted some magpies And a jackdaw judged The clatter and clamour Before leaving early.

Friday Came with seagulls attached Hauling the rainclouds Shrieking as they scratched Silence from the slates.

The weekend was for wrens And they sang, and they sang.

You Were A Friend Anonymous I was in a safe place, or so I had thought, with your hand on my mouth, I begged you to stop.

Thinking back on this and my stomach in knots, I shove down more pills and three more shots, my body is broken and I am lost, my innocence was taken but for what cost?

I felt pain that night, as I laid there and cried, and it was comparable to that of a knife however of course it was “just sex” you implied.

You were a friend, Or so I had thought, You left me in pieces And completely distraught.

Consent is important, It’s a yes or a no, If someone refuses, Respect that and go

food

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FOOD Editor - Xander Cosgrave

So, a part of our ‘Christmas special’ we’re going to have simple ‘Holiday’ recipes, courtesy of ‘Fruit on the Table’ author Theresa Storey, as well as a few places around Cork that you can take people on a date, or as I like to call this section, ‘Impress to undress’. First up, let’s look at reasonably priced places to take people on a date. We’ve even brought in a completely arbitrary rating system to make your life easier to deal with.

Crane Lane, off Oliver Plunkett St. The Crane Lane is a delightfully rustic venue, with its stone furnishings and literal alley adding an air of quaint tradition to a menu that is full of delicious food. It is a solid balance of interesting and fancy food, made with local ingredients at a reasonable price.

It’s a great spot for a late lunch or an early evening meet up, but the place gets packed in the evening, so be sure to avoid it after 9 if you’re looking for something quiet.

Price. €€ Tasty Munch €€€€ Brick Lane, South Main St. Since we like lanes in the Express, let’s take a look at the recently refurbished Brick Lane (I mean, it’s “recently refurbished” if you’re old and crotchety like me, I guess). It’s a comfortable place to pop by for an early afternoon snack, with a strong selection of bar food favourites. I personally go for the pitcher and bottomless wings combo, but that’s because I really like wings; I wouldn’t recommend them for a date, too spicy. That being said, an excellent menu in an easily accessible bar.

Price. €€ Tasty Munch €€€ Liberty Grill, Washington St. Do you like the taste of freedom in the morning? You know I do, and that’s why I go to Liberty Grill. With a selection of American breakfasts at an excellent quality, you know you’re going to be in safe hands with Liberty Grill. Personally, this is more the sort of place I take people the morning after, but if you want to have a brunch/lunch date, it’s absolutely the place to be.

Price. €€€ Tasty Munch €€€€€ Speedos, Tuckey St. It’s the freaking greatest place to get a kebab after a night on the sesh. Rob, the papers’ editor will agree. (Editor’s Note: I don’t eat kebabs, but damn that pizza is class) Price. € Tasty Munch €€€€€€€€€€€

Christmas Recipe Special Xander Cosgrave - Food Editor

and bring to the boil over a medium heat.

Lower the heat and simmer gently for 2–3 Recipes come courtesy of Theresa Storey, hours until it is thick and liquid begins to author of the new book, ‘Fruit on the Ta- collect on top. ble’. Fruit on the Table has been published Pour into warm sterilised jars to within 6

by The O’Brien Press, and is available in all mm (¼ inch) of the top, lid and seal. good bookshops now. RRP: €19.99/£16.99.

Text copyright of Theresa Storey (2016), Boozy butterscotch bananas images copyright of Valerie O’Connor.

This is our version of Bananas Foster, minus the flambé. We saw it being made on Partridge in a pear tree chutney television and immediately had to try it.

This chutney is our Christmas best-seller We’ve tweaked the recipe, and it’s now my (after cranberry sauce, of course) and is an daughter Athene’s favourite dessert (minus adaptation of one of Digby Law’s fabulous the alcohol). You don’t have to use bananas; recipes. It tastes like savoury mincemeat, in fact, Athene prefers it with pears. You can all rich and nutty, and is great with cheese, use any reasonably solid sweet fruit like apcold meats and poultry. It will keep for at ples, peaches or pears – just peel the fruit beleast 6 months unopened in a cool dry place. fore cooking. It’s a simple, fast and delicious Makes about 6.8 kg (15 lb). recipe. Caramelly, butterscotchy bananas with booze. Yum! Ingredients 3 kg (6½ lb) firm pears (cored) Ingredients, Serves 2 1 kg (2¼ lb) dates 110 g (4 oz) butter 1 kg (2¼ lb) raisins 90 g (3 oz) brown sugar 3 tbsp salt 4 bananas (peeled and sliced lengthwise in 100 g (3½ oz) walnut pieces half) Juice and grated peel of 1 large lemon 1 tbsp whiskey, brandy or rum 2.5 l (4½ pints) distilled malt vinegar 1 kg (2¼ lb) brown sugar Melt the butter in a frying pan over medium heat. Add the sugar and cook for about Finely chop the pears, dates and raisins. I 4 minutes, stirring constantly, until the use a food processor. sugar melts. It will be all bubbly and golden.

Put all the ingredients into a preserving pot Watch out: it’s crazy hot.

Add the banana to the butterscotch and cook until the bananas are warmed through and start to soften.

Pour in the booze, stir through and cook for about 30 seconds.

Remove from the heat and serve immediately – the butterscotch can start to split as soon as it comes off the heat. Eat it with vanilla ice cream.

For more fantastic recipes like these, pick up a copy of ‘Fruit on the Table’ in Easons, Waterstones, on Amazon and where all good books are sold. An ideal Christmas present for the veteran chefs and eager foodies in your life.

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SEXPRESS

ISSUE 06 | UCC SExpress

Sexpress Survey Results On November 17th we conducted a survey on sex & sexuality in UCC. The survey consisted of 10 questions, and was limited to a sample size of 100 people.

We received responses from 58 men, 39 women and 3 ‘other’ people, with the others here meaning genderqueer, genderfluid and ‘unsure’ students.

Before delving into the results of this survey, let me begin by saying that I am by no means a scientist. We undertook this survey out of curiosity, when we noticed a trend amongst ourselves and our peers concerning the sexual habits of people in Cork. On numerous occasions friends had professed certain things to us that just seem to happen more in Cork than anywhere else, like men being particularly well-endowed, people enjoying giving oral sex and a high number partaking in sexual activities in public places. This is why we did this survey, we just had to know.

Most of the questions asked them how the respondent felt themselves, not necessarily what was factually correct, so take that how you will. The first question regarded the size of one’s genitals: out of those with a penis, 17% believed themselves to be well endowed, 73% average, 7% small and 3% were uncertain.

Comparing this to the people with vaginas: 90% said they have an average size vagina, 2.5% believe they are larger than average, 5% said smaller and 2.5% were unsure.

Then we inquired as to whether people liked giving oral sex; 93% of men said yes.

74% of women said yes.

And, a whopping 100% of other respondents said yes.

We learned that men fake it too, with 37% of men confessing to have faked an orgasm in the past, other respondents at 33%, but these are nothing in comparison to women, where 69% of people admitted to faking an orgasm.

75% of men who took our survey are under the belief they are good at sex, followed closely by women at 70%, and 66% of others.

Queer (gay, bi and any other nonstraight identifying) men enjoy anal sex the most at 62%, and straight women want to do anal sex the least, with 52% not wanting to ever try it.

When it comes to personal grooming, queer men are the only people to have done all five pubic hair grooming options we had in the survey; letting it all grow, shaving it all off, waxing, trimming and other. At 68%, shaving it all off is most common in straight women.

Straight men are also the hairiest, with 29% leaving themselves au natural.

However trimming comes out the most common grooming method for straight men, queer men, queer women and others.

Apparently we enjoy a romp in a public place, with 100% of others, 71% of men and 62% of women doing the nasty somewhere not so private.

Finally, the people of cork enjoy their sex toys; 53% of men, 56% of women and 66% of others having used a sex toy at least once before.

For a full breakdown of the survey, keep an eye on UCCExpress.ie in the next few days.

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Review: Dealz/Poundland ‘Playful’ Bullet Vibrator (€1.49) Requires 1xAA battery His – Sex Toy Veteran Top tip: no matter how cheap they may be, this purchase becomes even more suspicious / embarrassing when bought with a jumbo-box of Haribo and a Shrek plushie.

Going against the cardinal rule of putting things up the butt (only doing so with things with a flared base) I agreed to review the ‘Playful’ brand Bullet Vibrator, aka the Dealz Vibrator. And so, m’colleague bought two of them, and we parted ways. I went home, put on some smooth jazz, lit some candles and...realised the battery wasn’t included.

Be aware: like all cheap vibes, the thing turns on as soon as there’s a battery in it and you screw the top back on, so only put the battery in when you’re getting ready to get down. The plastic seems cheap, and hollow, so take great care when using it. This vibe was surprisingly loud, like, ‘wake the roommates’ loud, so best used when you have a bit more privacy. With something so loud, you’d hope it would be powerful, but alas, it was rather weak. I’ll admit that I wasn’t as enthusiastic as one would want to be, for fear of adding to my embarrassment with a trip to A&E (remember: no flared base), but even then the actual vibrations weren’t that strong. Better off spending that €1.50 on Toblerone, mate.

Hers – Sex Toy Virgin I want to begin by setting the scene: I have never used a sex toy before, not a single one, and this came as quite the surprise to my friends when they found out. On hearing this, they recommended that I try something out (preferably the cheapest thing, as the Express isn’t made of gold) and of course, write a review of my experience.

The vibrator of choice, from Dealz, was garishly pink, made of very hollow hard plastic with a feel that can only be described as ‘repurposed plastic piping’.

The best bit about the vibrator is the hideous loud noise it makes when you screw the lid on: it literally sounds like a hundred dying, angry wasps in what is literally just a piece of pipe.

To conclude, we had agreed to start on the lowest possible tier of sex toys, work our way up to the good stuff etc. Well let me tell you, the next step up from this must either be an electric toothbrush or a cucumber. If hard rattly plastic with vibrations that you somehow only feel going up your wrist gets you off, this is the sex toy for you.

Bonus point: You can buy a case of 30 of these from the Poundland (UK equivalent of Dealz) website, if you wanted to send someone a more ethically-sourced box of dead wasps this Holiday season.

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GAEILGE

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

What Irish means to me

Irish conjures up different things to different people. Some think of it as a dying language, some think of Peig Sayers and wince at the misery of leaving cert, 30 years later. For me, it’s so much more than that. It harks all the way back to the Tuatha De Danann, a proud supernatural race of gods that called Ireland home. Do you know of Brehon Law, one of the most progressive legal systems of the medieval world? That began here. It makes me think of the Islanders on the Blaskets, working hard every day of their lives to keep the old ways alive. It’s my connection to a rich and varied culture, one we have fought for time and again, and one that is universally popular across the world. For that, I am proud to have a cupla focail still.

- Mary Collins, Features Editor Níl mé liofa sa Ghaeilge ach tá grá mór agam don teanga. I have a great appreciation for the Irish language thanks to my parents, especially my mother. Irish wasn’t my best language at school, in fact I was far better at French until about 4th Year, when I won a scholarship from UCC to go to the Gaeltacht on the Dingle Peninsula. Somewhere I got in trouble a fair bit for speaking in English but ended up good at the sports and the céilí. After that, my relationship changed with Irish, and I try to use it where I can. Especially when abroad

10Focail -

AMNOLLAIG

with friends or at work to ask “Conás atá tu?” or if I’m feeling mischievous I’ll ask “Cén chaoi a bhfuil tú?” and confuse everyone. At the end of it all, it’s our national language, and while I’m not a fan of how it is taught or the compulsory nature of the subject, I think it is something we should treasure and enjoy - not shove down the throat of students!

- Stephen Spillane, Staff Writer An Ghaeilge. Pian sa tóin ina teannta, pian sa chroí gan í. Mar teangeolaí iltheangach, seasann sí ar faidh coincheap i bhfad Éireann níos substaintiúla ‘is níos tromchiallaí ná foirm

An Tuiseal Ginideach

iseal Ginideach. Faraor. An Tuiseal a bhfuil tar éis a bheith ag dó na geirbe do dhaltaí uilig na Gaelinne ó thus ama. Deirtear gur “Genetive Case” atá i gceist ach sure, cé a thuigeadh é sin? S’éard atá i gceist leis ná na rialacha grammadaí a úsáidimis nuair a thagann ainmfhocal le chéile l’ainmfhocal eile, réamhfhocal, ainmbriathra nó cainníocht. Simplí nach ea? I mo bhrionglóidí.

Aoife Nic Gearailt - Eagarthóir Gaeilge Bunchloch grammadaí is ea é an Tu-

Braitheann na rialacha a chuirtear i bhfeidhm ar inscne an t-ainmfhocal, an san uatha nó iolra atá sé agus cén diochlaonadh as a dtagann sé. Braithim eagla anama ionam nuair a chloisim tagart ar an bhfocal sin - diochlaonadh.

Is ar nós ar tí a bheith caite amach de héileacaptar nó a leithead a bhraithim.

Ní bheidh tú in ann an Tuiseal a bhfeidhmiú gan rialacha agus coinníollacha na diochlaontaí a thuiscint agus a tú a bheith in ann idirdhealú a dhéanamh idir an é an uatha nó an iolra a mbeidh

cummarsáide. Nuair a thagann an Ghaeilge chun cuimhne chugham, samhlaím rud éigin draíochta, ársa, focail atá i mbun cliúsaíochta leat. Leiríonn sí peirspictíocht eagsúil, ina bhfuil an phribhléid acu siúd atá an Ghaeilge ar a dtoil acu, a úsáid chun dearcadh uathúil a fháil ar an domhan agus ar ár tsochaí.

Dom féin, ba agus is bealach éalaithe í ón saol agus ó na rudaí a bhíonn ag cur as dom, i’m cheann agus i’m thimpeallacht. Muna bainim amach faic seachas líofacht inti le linn mo shaol, bheinn níos mó ná sásta - Aoife Nic Gearailt, Eagarthóir Gaeilge á úsáid agat. Rud fíor-chasta ionas go mbeidh tú in ann “the man’s coat” a rá. Sa Bhéarla ní chuirtear ach “‘s” agus sin é, críochnaithe, ag leanúint ar aghaidh go dtí an chéad abairt eile. Fiú sa choláiste, cuirtear an oiread béime sin ar an Tuiseal Ginideach seo go gceapfeá go bhfuil ríochas nó maoin áirithe bainte leis.

Ní dheinfimise féin dearmad go lá mo bháis ar mo thaithí leis an Tuiseal Ginideach san Ardteist. Pianmhar i ndóthan a raibh an bhliain gan an Tuiseal Ginideach a bheith i’m leanúint. Bhí beirt múinteoirí Gaeilge agam sa 6ú bhliain agus ar nós Bootcamp Grammadaí a raibh na ranganna. Maratóin de shaghas éigin. Pé slí, bheartaíodar an Tuiseal Ginideach a bheith comh ingreinnte sin inár naigní go mbeimis in ann an diochlaontaí a rá inár gcoladh agus fé dheireadh na bliana, sin go díreach cad a tharla. Bheartaíodar ár rang dúbalta creidimh a bhaint dúinn agus ranganna gramadaí a thabhairt dúinn ina áit.

Ní daltaí diaganta a raibh ionann, go dtí gur tharla sé sin agus bhraithníomar

Nollaig Shóna! - Happy Christmas Bronntanas(aí) - Present(s) Daidí na Nollaig - Santa Lá Nollaig - Christmas Day Turcaí - Turkey Christmas cake - Ciste Nollaig Póg faoin drualas - To kiss under the mistletoe Pléascán Nollaig - Christmas cracker Amach as an leaba agus ar aghaidh leat chuig Afrainn!! - Get out of bed and get to mass!

Ná fiú féach ar mo Bhosca Seacláide - Get your eyes off my selection box Cé a d’ionanálaigh brioscaí Daidí na Nollaig?? - Who devoured (inhaled) Santa’s cookies??

An bhfuil an RTE Guide ceannaithe ag mam go fóill? - Did mam get the RTE Guide yet? Íosa agus a dháréag uainn. Nílimse ag iarradh a bheith thar a bheith drámatúil ach go gcasamar i dtreo an chreidimh le linn na ranganna sin. Throwback ceart iad go dtí am nuair a mbeadh na ranganna chomh ciúin sin go mbeifeá in ann croí a chloisint. D’oibrigh sé, d’oibrigh an eagla agus an faitíos agus is ar nós saineolaithe a raibh ionann agus muid ag suí síos chun ár nArdteist a dhéanamh. Cé go raibh sé nach mór go huile is go hiomlán imithe uainn faoi am an Debs, bhí na torthaí arda tuilte go mór againn.

Dár ndóigh nach bhfuilim comh líofa sin sa Tuiseal Ginideach is mar a bhí ag súil le mo mhuinteoirí, deanaim iarracht, agus an iarracht is mó a bhfuilim a dhéanamh agus an Tuiseal Ginideach á phlé agat. De gnáth, bainim leas as mo chluasa agus leanam céard a fhuamaíonn i gceart. Ciontach agus leithscúileach ach déanam an saol i bhfad Éireann níos simplí dom féin. Más fiú í a dhéanamh, is fiú í a dhéanamh i gceart. Mar a deirtear.

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PHOTOS

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Photos courtesy of Emmet Curtin Photography

PHOTOS

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SPORT

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Weekly Round Up Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor

Answering Ireland’s Call Declan Gleeson- Sport Writer The battle of Soldier Field will live long in the memory of Irish and world rugby fans alike. Fifteen warriors summoned a performance like no other, one that will likely never be matched. A good win over Canada for the fringe players was followed up by succumbing to an aggressive All Black team last weekend.

The future of Irish rugby is exceptionally bright right now, and with an upcoming Six Nations and the Lions Tour of New Zealand looming, we will look to these new stars as they try to launch Irish rugby to the summit of world rugby.

Leading this new breed is Conor Murray. Murray has been in blistering form which has made him one of, if not the, best scrum halfs in the world this past year. He was constantly at the centre of everything good about Ireland’s play; he exploited the New Zealand nerves brilliantly to run in his try, showed his versatility by converting a crucial penalty, and made a thundering tackle on Julian Savea that led to the final try and victory. He was never going to be able to repeat his performance in Chicago last weekend, and questionable refereeing

didn’t help the Irish cause. If Ireland are to challenge for the Six Nations come spring, be assured that Murray will be the game changer.

When Brian O’Driscoll retired, Irish hearts broke and then froze in fear of what would come next. Well we can all sleep easy knowing that Robbie Henshaw is marshalling this team and filling the boots left by O’Driscoll and D’Arcy.

Capable of playing 13 or 12, Henshaw is Ireland’s explosive phenomenon. He left nothing on that pitch in Chicago, emptying himself in attack and defence, scoring that unforgettable clinching try.

Henshaw is a pivotal part in this team and was unlucky to be brutally injured last weekend but had recovered to watch the end of the game.

Ireland have sorely lacked a top quality tighthead prop since John Hayes retired, but now they have found one in Tadgh Furlong. He’s aggressive, mobile, and has formed a solid partnership with Rory Best and loosehead Jack McGrath.

The front row made the New Zealand scrum look weak, and the form of the front three carried on into the second fixture with Furlong and Best at their peaks. They are supported by two im-

portant figures in the backrow in Jamie Heaslip and CJ Stander, who seem to improve game after game. Stander was also unlucky to be injured during the game last weekend but Heaslip stepped up once again.

The 52-21 win over Canada let us see some exciting new players such as Ultan Dillane, Garry Ringrose, & Tiernan O’Halloran as well as returning titans like Sean O’Brien & Peter O’Mahony providing encouraging signs. Joey Carberry & Paddy Jackson are flourishing at club level and with the constant injury to Johnny Sexton, their inclusion looks ever more likely. These players are making a major case to be in the first team. Australia were next up, and may have watched on worriedly at what Ireland have done to New Zealand, leading to Ireland being the first Northern Hemisphere team to beat New Zealand, South Africa and Australia in one calendar year in over a decade. Ireland now sit in 4th in the world rankings, perfectly placed for the 2019 world cup draw as one of the top seeds.

What a time to be an Irish rugby fan, or generally, a world rugby fan.

ATHLETICS: UCC women’s team finished 3rd in the Intervarsity Road Relays held in Maynooth last weekend, while the men’s team finished fourth at the events in Kildare.

BASKETBALL: UCC Demons enjoyed an impressive win over UL Eagles 84-78 in a high scoring affair in Limerick last weekend, while UCC Glanmire defeated NUIG Mystics 81-48 in the Women’s Superleague, and the Under U20’s defeated Brunell 61-50 in the U20 National Cup first round.

HOCKEY: UCC enjoyed a mixed run of results across the board with the men opened the weekend with a 1-2 home defeat to Cork Harlequins at the Mardyke in the Munster Senior League UCC women however tasted success as they defeated Clonakilty 4-0 in the Munster Senior League. UCC “2” were knocked out of the Irish Junior Cup 0-2 by Lisnargarvey.

TRAMPOLINE: UCC hosted a very successful intervarsity event at the Mardyke Arena, with students from all over the country at the event. It was a great occasion for the college, with UCC’s own Jack Davis winning the Men’s Elite Category, and Nicole Geaney finishing 1st Elite Ladies.

Olivier Melon also won the intervanced Men, Aislinn Graham, 2nd Advanced Ladies, and Sara Redding, 3rd Intermediate Ladies

ULTIMATE FRISBEE: UCC were awarded “College Club of the year” at the IFDA annual awards, while David Rosenfield, founder of the UCC club and the one credited with bringing Ultimate Frisbee to Cork, was inducted into the “Hall of Fame” in recognition of his foresight & work in developing the sport in UCC, Cork & Ireland.

SPORT

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

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Sport: the gift that keeps on giving James McAuliffe- Sports Writer A conventional definition from our neighbors across the pond describes sport as “an activity involving physical exertion in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.” On paper, it seems quite a facile concept, however, reality often casts a stark contrast on what seems to be too good to be true. Personally, I believe the aforementioned definition to be debatable.

Some might say inaccurate or even unrealistic. In Ireland in particular, it seems to me that we are turning a blind eye to the entertainment aspect of our games. A prime example of this within an amateur game, was Donegal’s quest for All-Ireland glory in 2011.

Jim McGuinness (the revolutionist behind modern Gaelic football) went to severe and questionable lengths in an attempt to bring the Sam Maguire cup back to the Glens of Donegal. These measures entailed; a “legally binding” document agreed upon by players and management, phone confiscation,

but most of all, an outlandish claim expressing that they “were putting (their) our lives on hold” to capture the All-Ireland title. Keep in mind, this is an amateur game. Amateur.

Furthermore, it is my opinion that sport represents far more than a mere “activity”. For many of us, I believe that sport embodies us. It becomes part of our heritage, our lifestyle and our mental and physical backbone. These intangible, innate elements of us as human beings cause us to embody a passionate and unforgiving type of being. The phrase “wearing your heart on your sleeve” is often spoken about, yet rarely visible. That being said, the Rugby giant Paul O’Connell made sure to make his feelings heard during his famous “manic aggression” speech; be it the evocative language or the explicit, the speech never ceases to make the hair on my neck stand up.

The reverberation effect is truly profound with all team members instantly calling for duty.

This conjures up questions. Why do

they do it? What is the reasoning behind their rationale? Why are they adamant to experience this “activity” which entails “enjoyment.” The reason, I think is related to two broad, simplistic terms entrapped within sport: Winning and Losing. Obviously the former representing the more favored.

Many of us may be familiar with psychological techniques before matches or contests. They usually take the form of breathing exercises, team huddles or a bombastic speech from a coach.

Personally, I always seem to revert back to the reliable technique of visualization. Casting my mind back to a victorious accomplishment. Sporadic thoughts ensue, most notably, the euphoric high of being on cloud nine, the emphatic adrenaline rush and finally, the relief of knowing that all the blood-curdling passion was worth it.

However, that defiant feeling and unprecedented ground can quickly be diminished if the result is on the opposite side of the coin. There is a claim

that the pain of losing is twice as painful as the exhilaration of happiness in victory. The depths of despair athletes succumb to can be quite frightening.

For example, John Mullane vividly recites the post-activity after the All-Ireland semi-final loss of 2007 to Limerick. He recounts, as he pulled “over the curtains and, I didn’t come outside the door for three days.” In yet another “amateur” game. This type of behavior, along with subliminal messages within your mind and the ever-lasting “what did I do to deserve this” plea to a supernatural power, are only a few of the effects on the infinite list of what impact a loss can have on an athlete.

With all that considered, it does yield the question is it worth it? In my eyes, of course sport is worth it. Regardless of the result, there is one inevitability: Life goes on. As the well-renowned tennis player Billie Jean King once remarked: “Sports teaches you character, it teaches you to play by the rules, it teaches you to know what it feels like to win and lose- it teaches you about life.” What an education.

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SPORT

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Derby Defeat

for UCC

LIT 5-17 3-15 UCC Higher Education Senior Hurling Division One Semi Finals UCC’s Higher Education Senior Hurling Division One League campaign came to a dramatic end on Tuesday afternoon following a 5-17 to 3-15 defeat against Munster rivals Limerick Institute of Technology in Limerick.

In what where two high scoring halves; both teams fought a physical and intense game, which left both sides much to dwell on ahead of the Fitzgibbon Cup in January.

From the opening both teams were determined, with a well-placed point by Jamie Shannon breaking the deadlock inside a minute for the hosts. UCC responded well when Luke Hackett was fouled, but Conor Morrissey’s effort from the free was well caught by Avor Quinlan in goal. Minutes later Morrissey made amends, with a well drilled free against the breeze and over the bar. A mismatch in the UCC defence saw the ball fall perfectly to Ben O Gorman for LIT, who wasted no time and hammered a shot well passed Brian Donovan in goal. A foul on Cillian O Gorman gave Morrissey an opportunity once again from the halfway line, which he pummelled between the sticks for his second of the game. UCC grabbed a goal back when Luke Hackett broke down the left hand flank and fired the slitor well passed Quinlan in goal. The game slowed into a shooting contest between UCC and LIT’s

Jamie Shannon and Conor Morrissey, who scored five points between them in five-ten minutes of play. As the half wound down LIT held the advantage, following a succession of scores by Shannon which gave the hosts a four point cushion at the interval.

From the restart UCC set the pace, as Cillian Morrissey bagged another point, and set up a goal for the visitors when his long range free was frantically turned in by James O Flynn. LIT responded well with Jamie Shannon adding to his tally as the forward drilled his shot well over after finding acres of space in the UCC midfield. LIT pressed on and regained their four point cushion thanks to Shannon once again, but UCC responded well with a stunning

UCC Sail into History at ITRA Nationals Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor UCC Sailing Club made history last weekend in the ITRA Nationals at the Royal St George Yacht Club in Dún Laoighre, where the team raced in nationals; the first University team to do so.

UCC1 consisted of Cian O’Regan, Eoin Lyden, Mark Hassett, Liam Manning, Fionn Lyden and Ellen O’Regan who sailed to a first place finish in both races, while UCC2, made up of Brendan Lynden, Gill O Leary, Conor Lydn, Lisa

Smith, Aodh Kennedy and Brian Stokes, stumbled to a fourth place finish.

Meanwhile UCC student and Royal Cork dinghy sailor Seafra Guillfoyle will compete with double Olympian Ryan Seaton in the Tokyo 2020 49er campaign.

The pair will be hoping to improve on their top ten finish at the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio. It is reported that for Tokyo 2020 Ireland will be fielding at least four teams in the 49er campaign.

goal from Morrissey, who saw his free sail well over the crowded penalty box and into the top corner of the net. With a point in it, LIT broke, and wing forward Paul Clean struck a bullet passed Donovan in goal to restore the hosts four point lead. UCC pushed well in the closing stages, but efforts from Shane Heagarty proved futile as a break away by Jamie Shannon left the Clare man with the keeper to beat, and the forward wasted no time in grabbing another goal for himself and LIT.

LIT: A. Quinlan, C. Nolan, K. Bennet, S. Ryan, J. Quaid, B. O Connell, C. Cooney, D. Keeley, W. Comers, B. O Gorman, P. Clean, J. McCarthy, J. Shannon, P. Duggan, D. Dempsey.

Subs: L. Doyle, S. Bennet, A. Mulamby, G. Wheel, B. Flannery, K. Hurley.

UCC: B. Donovan, P. de Burca, D. O Brien, C. O Neil, S. Linehan, E. Murphy, P. Leonard, C. O Gorman, J. Houlihan, S. Horgan, C. Morrissey, J. O Sullivan, L. Hackett, S. O Donovan, E. Kiery.

Final score was 5-17 to 3-15; a crushing eight point defeat to UCC, whose attention now turns to the 2017 Fitzgibbon Cup Championship.

Subs: E. Lonergan, J. McCarthy on for S. Horgan 60, E. Gaffney, G. Linehan, S. Callinan, A. Stafford for D. O Brien 40, T. O Sullivan on for E Murphy 45, A. Hardiman, C. Cullo, K. Phlean.

SPORT

ISSUE 06 | UCC Express

Fighting Star for UCC Judo

Club captain Luke Hickey equally enjoyed these successes, adding, “Unfortunately I missed the competition through injury, but as captain I’m delighted with the results, but also with how our newer club members are improving and showing great dedication to the club. We also had raised 225 Euro for the CUH children’s appeal by holding a self-defence seminar on Monday. So the club continues to go from strength to strength on all fronts.”

Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor Following an excellent 2015/16 season, UCC Judo continued to impress at the North West Open at the Foyle Arena in Derry last week, with the college collecting two gold medals and two silver medals, as well as one bronze medal and the Men’s Team Trophy.

The event, organised by the British Judo Association, was the 50th iteration of this competition taking place.

UCC enjoyed a number of impressive results, with Aobh O’Shéa setting the standard for gold in upper kyu and gold in u57/63kg. Jack Corbett won gold in middle kyu and bronze in u100kg, Francesco Massardo claimed silver in u66kg Daniel Murphy won silver in Junior Men’s u66 with a bronze in senior men’s u66 and Eric Steffen claimed bronze in u73kg.

The Men’s Team Trophy was also won

by Francesco Massardo, Eric Steffen

and Jack Corbett for the second year in a row.

Speaking on behalf of these results, UCC Judo Coach David Holmes was ecstatic with the performance in Derry, commenting that “the event established UCC as a serious recognized club, which held its own against other senior clubs in Ireland (North and South). The event was refereed by

Italian Job too Much for City AS Roma 0-1 Cork City FC UEFA Youth League Kevin Galvin- Sports Writer Despite a brave performance, Sidy Keba Koly’s 61st minute goal was enough to finally put an end to Cork City’s brave inaugural foray in the UEFA Youth League, who matched Italian giants AS Roma pound-for-pound once again, only to just come up short.

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While the result on the night didn’t go the way of the Rebel Army, another battling performance against one of the top rated youth academies in the world, and semi-finalists two years ago, just proved once again how strong this Cork City underage side is, and the Leesiders plaudits since last Wednesday’s encounter have been richly deserved.

City manager Stephen Bermingham stressed the importance of an early goal, but the visitors were lucky not to go be-

international established British referees, who commended the level of judo from all of our players. This was a comment which was well received by UCC as we prepare for the All Irelands in two weeks’ time. The journey, although long, was worth it as all players worked hard and any medal earned was against established players.” hind only six minutes in, when Edoardo Soleri capped off a fine run with a clever ball in behind, but beneficiary Sidy Coly was denied by the outstretched left foot of David Coffey.

The reigning Italian champions dominated possession in the opening halfhour, and apart from a Kevin Taylor free fisted over by Lorenzo Crisanto it was largely one-way traffic. 22 minutes in Soleri kissed the crossbar with a header from one of Alessandro’s umpteen corners, as the hosts continued to be left frustrated.

The Rebel Army hung in though, and could have had the unlikeliest of leads, when Crisanto could only push out Aaron Drinan’s low effort, but Alec Byrne just couldn’t fashion enough space to stop the Roma custodian from smothering the follow-up, before Soleri fired a warning shot just over on the stroke of half-time.

The visitors came into the game a bit more on commencement of the second, as the sun began to slowly set over Stadio Tre Fontane (the former Roma home ground, hosting its first competitive game involving i Lupi in a decade), stretching their Italian opponents as Cian Coleman drove a shot over the bar from the edge of the box. However, that exposed the wings, and on the hour mark their good work was undone as Filippo Franchi was given too much space and

In total UCC Judo has had a historic 2016 across all competitions. In February 2016 the club won 28 medals at the Irish Intervarsities at the Foyle Arena, including the title of Best Woman and Men’s Teams at the event as well as the “Best Judoka / Charlie Hegarty Shield” for Andre Bilro Pereira de Araujo. The club was also given the “Southside and District Sports Award” in February 2016.

Attention now turns to the All Ireland’s on the 3rd of December at the Phibblestown Community Centre in Dublin, and the 2017 Intervarsities at the UCD Sports Complex in February at for UCC Judo. crossed for Coly, whose original header was brilliantly saved by Coffey, but the Senegal native was there first to tuck home the opener.

Just like in the first leg, however, Bermingham’s men refused to give in, and after Daire O’Riordan teed up Denzil Fernandez, the right winger was so unlucky to see his dipping volley come back off the crossbar. That was as good as it got going forward; however in the dying minutes, having stayed down from a collision with Soleri minutes earlier, goalkeeper David Coffey flew across his goal to deny Emanuele Spinozzi and put the Cork custodian in the back of an ambulance following the final whistle.

The act left a lasting impression on the sizeable home crowd, as City’s brave battle was finally summed up.

Cork City: D Coffey; P Phillips, C McCarthy, A O’Sullivan, K Taylor (G Manley 86); C Coleman, A Byrne; D Fernandez (W Armstrong 84), D O’Riordan (R Welch 82), C Ogbene; A Drinan.

AS Roma: L Crisanto; E De Santis, L Grossi (N Tofanari 88), R Marchizza (S Ciavattini 73), L Pellegrini; A Bordin (A Marcucci 53), D Frattesi, E Spinozzi; F Franchi, E Soleri, S Keba Coly.

Referee: Z Proske (CZE).

SPORT

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 06 | Tuesday November 29th

President Michael Murphy & Cork City players announce new three-year sponsorship deal between the College & City (Photo: Cork City FC)

UCC Announce Cork City FC Sponsorship Deal Cailean Coffey – Music Editor FAI cup winners, Cork City FC, announced on Monday the 21st of November, a three-year sponsorship deal with UCC and The Maradyke Arena.

The deal focuses around Cork City’s use of the Maradyke’s facilities, rehabilitation unit and training pitches, and it also includes player support and University scholarships for Cork City players, in order to train them for a career after football.

A ceremony was held in the Student

Centre, hosted by broadcaster John Creedon, to announce the deal. UCC president Dr.Michael Murphy said the deal “reinforces our shared belief that sport and education together are a winning combination for success”. UCC will be displayed on both the front and the back of the new Cork City Jerseys, the away version of which was also unveiled. Cork City chairman, Pat Lyons, also spoke at the event, saying “Together with UCC, we are building further on our player development, availing of the extensive research network, data analytics and creating pathways for

juniors, senior and retiring players in education for their sporting and personal development as well as their future careers”.

The deal is an exciting development for both UCC and Cork City FC, and will give a lift to the Cork community, as two of the big Cork sporting strongholds combine. Cork City finished second in the Airtricity League for the third year in a row, finishing behind Dundalk each year. This deal is seen by the league as another statement of intent, and with Dundalk also securing

the lease of their home ground, Oriel Park, it seems that the 2017 season will be one of the most hotly contest in recent years. “As a center for sporting excellence” Diarmuid Collins, Chairman of the Maradyke Arena, said “we too share the same passion and commitment as the winning Cork team, and we look forward to working with players, coaches and managements for the coming seasons.”

Preview: Report on Student Council, Invisable disabilities, The Kaiser Chiefs