UCC Express Vol. 20 Issue 8

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 08 | Tuesday January 31st

HSE Warning on U-47700 Page 4 - News

Professor Andrew Wheeler, Chair of Geology UCC, and President Michael D Higgins pictured at exhibition launch (photo credit: UCC)

President opens the Irish in Latin America Exhibition Chris McCahill, News Editor

On January 27th President Michael D. Higgins opened an exhibition in UCC that celebrates the role of Irish immigrants in Latin America, and highlights Ireland and Latin America’s shared history of colonialism, and subsequent independence and revolutionary struggles.

The exhibition is based on prominent Irish figures who were involved in independence and revolutionary struggles across Latin America. It focuses specifically on the stories of Irish men and women whom migrated to various countries in the region, and to the Caribbean, in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. President Michael D Higgins remarked that Latin America has pro-

vided the world with important examples of socially inclusive economic governance.

President Higgins, whom next month will become the first serving Irish president to make an official visit to Peru, Colombia and Cuba next month, praised the remarkable feat of the Latin American countries who have succeeded in taking 90m people out of poverty between 2000 and 2012. He also said it was the only region in the world which managed to reduce income inequality during the first decade of the 21st Century.

in the development of the modern and independent republics of the region. However, he said the exhibition, curated by Dr Margaret Brehony, did not shirk from showing what he described as the complex truth that, alongside those Irish workers who were exploited as railroad workers in Cuba, were families of Irish origin who operated large sugar plantations worked by slaves.

UCC staff and students have been invited to view this major exhibition, which is a celebration of Irish figures who helped to shape art and cultural heritage, intellectual tradition, scientific scholarship as well as Speaking at the opening of an exhibition politics and foreign policy throughout Latin on the Irish in Latin America at Universi- America. ty College Cork, Mr.Higgins said that Irish men and women had played a profound role Continues on next page...

Is It Okay to Punch Nazis?

Page 9 - Features

#CorkLovesMusic

Byline Magazine

NEWS INSIDE TODAY: 2

NEWS

FROM THE EDITOR me and Chris usually have completely different viewpoints on the same issues, which typically leads to an interesting dynamic in this section. Why am I wasting half my space on this? To acknowledge the privilege I have in being able to reflect on Chris’ pieces before submitting my final draft.

04 Outgoing President’s Comments 05 Update on UCC Israel Conference

FEATURES

06 Arts Week Explained 08 SC - Artificial Intelligence

SEXPRESS

31 How to declare undying love

BYLINE

20 Interview with Blaming Hannah 15 Graffiti Warfare: Banksy

SPORT

38 When will it be Liverpool’s year?

37 Aussie rules football in UCC

EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-Chief - Robert O’Sullivan News Editor - Chris McCahill Deputy News Editor - Ciaran O’Halloran Graphic Designer - Beth Alexander Features Editor - Mary Collins Deputy Features Editor - Ciara Dinneen Photographer - Emmet Curtin Sports Editor - Dylan O Connell Deputy Sports Editor - Darragh Walsh Eagarthóir Gaeilge - Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive - Sarah Dunphy Online Editor - Evan Smith Byline Editor - Lauren Mulvihill Byline Associate Editor - Sarah Ryan Fiction Editor - Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Music Editor - Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor - Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor - Iris Maher Food Editor - Xander Cosgrave Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston Niamh O’Reilly Méabh McMahon

Point, Counter Point Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

From your point of view, my editorials read as one, hopefully legible, piece.

From my point of view they look more like a Tarantino film than a straight article, in that it’s a non-consecutive Frankenstein piece of different ideas from different times. From when one issue is published to the next, I’ll make notes on what I might talk about, maybe even write it wholly before we get back to the editorial process for the following issue.

Then I’ll read the rest of the paper over about 5 times; this includes the most relevant articles to my editorial: the other editorials. Namely, Chris’ editorial. Despite being friends & working together,

So here’s the big, mad, statement: it’s totally okay to punch a Nazi. A year ago I’d be stumped as to why I needed to say that, because surely everyone’s read a history book, or at least seen the first Captain America film.

On January 20th, neo-Nazi- sorry, alt-right wunderkind Richard Spencer was punched by an anonymous passerby. Before this, I hadn’t heard of Spencer, I’ll be honest. But having read into him, and his past, I genuinely cannot understand why someone could believe it’s not okay t o give him a clip ‘round the ear.

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

Spencer, supposed originator of the term ‘Alt-Right’, has openly utilised Nazi imagery & terms, whether it was when he told those listening to “Hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory!” or when he referred to Trump’s victory as a “the victory of will,” knowing use of these terms in the context of a world where the US halts immigration based on religion or ethnic status (on Holocaust Remembrance Day, by the way) is simply not acceptable.

This isn’t about whether it’s okay to punch someone whom you disagree with, or who has a different view point, but whether it’s okay to punch someone who regularly calls for ethnic cleansing. And the answer to that question is yes; yes it fucking is.

Robert O’Sullivan

FROM THE NEWS EDITOR

Freedom of expression…. so long as it’s accepted Chris McCahill- News Editor Recently a video surfaced on social media of a leader of the alt-right being punched in the face whilst giving an interview during protests on the inauguration day of Donald Trump.

However, what struck me most was the huge number of people on social media whom seemed to condone the act simply because they didn’t agree with his controversial views. To me it seemed very hypocritical, the very people whom would claim to open minded, tolerant and liberal would condone violence against another person simply because they didn’t agree with them. Does he not, as a human being, the same as everyone else, have the right to have an opinion and to express that opinion? Of course, his views may be derogatory and provoke a reaction but to go to the extent of committing acts of violence or assaulting someone surely that cannot justify the violence? For then one would be condoning the censorship of a person or their views. To me it would seem wiser and far more to debate and dismantle such views through logic, moral and well-reasoned arguments as to resort to violence would suggest

your own views are not strong enough to stand on their own merits, it also legitimises violence as a political tactic or weapon. In which case, you may simply end up undermining your own cause and strengthening the one you seek to defeat or overcome.

You may completely disagree with me, but what I will ask, “What if it had been the other way around? What if an alt right leader punched someone on the left for expressing their views?

Would then violence be acceptable?”

For me if you’re looking to defeat an illogical or irrational view or argument, the pen is mightier than the fist.

Chris McCahill

NEWS

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

Story Continued from the Front Page...

People like Daniel O’Leary, who was born in Cork, son of a butter merchant and who emigrated to South America in 1817 and became the aide-de-camp to the great Liberator of the Americas, Simon Bolívar, or Eliza Lynch, a national heroine in Paraguay and mistress of the Paraguayan dictator, Francisco Solano-López (1826-1870), immortalized in

Anne Enright’s novel, The Pleasure of Eliza Lynch (2002) and in numerous films and books. Also on display are a selection of artefacts and manuscripts from UCC’s collection relating to the Irish presence in Latin America. Included are emeralds from Colombia, sent by Daniel O’Leary as part of a gift to Queen’s College in 1852.

The exhibition is also open to the public from the 25th January and from 27th29th January, in the Aula Maxima, UCC. The exhibition is also showing in the Glucksman Gallery foyer, from the 7th12th of February, and in the O’Rahilly Building from February 16th-18th.

Tensions High at Student Council - Council Report

Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief The third Student Council of the year took place on January 25th, and with 9 motions on the clár for the evening, a high tempo was set early on. The guillotine was set for 8:30pm, and due to the pace of the evening, reps were delighted to be out of Boole 1 by 8.

The Officer reports were taken as read, despite reported problems with circulation of reports. An emergency motion was received by the Council Chair, and would be discussed if there was time at the end of the meeting. Deputy President & Campaigns Officer Kate Moriarty noted that the Yes Trees UCC campaign, which had specifically appealed to her for help, had been successful, and the University was going for it. 100 trees are also to be planted across UCC’s campuses, and Ms.Moriarty was due to have a meeting with Green Campus the following Friday about it. Welfare Officer Rory O’Donnell noted that the Project Manager for the Student Hub had been chosen, but couldn’t be named publicly.

Comms Officer Kelly Doherty announced that Tommy Tiernan would be doing a gig in March in aid of R&G Week, and had not charged the SU for this gig. President Eolann Sheehan later noted that the team had already raised approximately €19,000 for R&G Week, and were aiming at a record-breaking total of €60,000. This number reportedly includes costs of running events. All Officers also noted that anyone considering running for SU positions to contact the outgoing Officers for advice or information.

A large amount of the motions put before

Council were fairly non-contentious. Indeed, seven of the nine pre-proposed motions passed unanimously without debate, as was the emergency motion. Motion One regarded mental health week, and mandated the SU to hold a mental health week in term two if one wasn’t held in term one.

Proposed by final-year Psychology student Laura O’Connor, it noted that the motion was crucial in the context of the rising rates of suicide and increasing pressure on mental health services in Cork. The motion was deemed non-contentious via a procedural motion from the floor, and thus passed.

Motion Two mandated the SU to stock & sell sanitary products in the SU Welfare office. It was noted that they already do, and the proposer (Sinead Ryan, Accounting IV) noted this was a mandate for future SUs. Following the passing of a procedural motion to amend the motion to include a clause to promote the sale of sanitary products, the motion was passed unanimously. The third motion regarded student attitudes towards alcohol, and mandated the SU to run campaigns about alcohol consumption and to run discussion forums. Motion was passed unanimously. The fourth motion was about formalising academic feedback across all departments, and following an amendment for clarification (to clarify that it was feedback from lecturers to students) the motion was passed...unanimously. Motion Five was jointly proposed by the Chairs of most of the UCC political party societies, and mandated the SU to run tenancy rights campaigns, as well as lobbying the government. The motion was voted to be non-contentious, and passed without debate.

Following the fifth motion, a brief break was taken, as reps ate pizza and listened to USI Southern Area Rep Niamh Murtagh discuss USI’s work. The sixth motion was the most controversial of the nine, and was to impeach the Council Secretary, Michael O’Keeffe. Proposed by Sinead Ryan (Acc IV), the motion wished to impeach the Council Secretary over alleged-incompetence this year. Throughout the proposing speech, an almost tangible tension could be felt in the room, which materialised when the motion was not seconded by the floor.

Postgraduate Officer Chris McCahill pro-

posed a procedural motion to suspend the motion on the grounds that the SU Constitution did not allow for impeachment of Council Reps, and that the passing of this motion would require a referendum to amend the Constitution before action could be taken. He also noted that because of the personal nature of the motion, further debate could cause offense. SU President Eolann Sheehan clarified that the SU had contacted their legal representatives, who backed up the claims of unconstitutional nature of impeachment. While he also noted that if the wording was changed from ‘impeachment’ to ‘removed’ it may go forward, Mr.McCahill’s procedural motion to suspend had to be voted on; this vote was passed, and the motion itself was suspended. Motions Seven & Eight regarded mandating the SUs to run campaigns on substance abuse and eating disorders respectively, and both were deemed non-contentious and passed. Motion Nine regarded the use of gendered language in Council, and optional pronoun use. While everyone in the room seemed to be in favour of the spirit of the motion, the exact wording of it was bizarrely controversial. The motion was withdrawn by the SU, with the view that it will be proposed at the next council as an addition to Council Standing Orders.

With around an hour left before the guillotine, the emergency motion that had been proposed was brought up. This motion regarded a University policy to not allow students to change their names on official college documents without possessing a deed poll. Council agreed to debate the motion after AOB had been discussed.

Amendments were made to the wording of this motion, and as it was noted that Trinity already allow for these changes without need of a deed poll, the motion was passed unanimously.

It was also noted during AOB that space for a Brookfield Common Room had finally been set-aside, awaiting furnishing; however, no timeline for completion has been given. Incoming President Patrick O’Shea will also speak to reps at the next Council on February 22nd in the Western Gateway Building.

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Around the Universities: TCD: Trinity researchers make virus breakthrough: Treatments for a whole range of viruses could be closer thanks to a discovery by scientists at Trinity College Dublin. The researchers found that a molecule central to the growth of cells, known as STAT3, plays a vital role in preventing infection through the immune system. The study, led by Assistant Professor in Immunology at Trinity College Dublin Dr Nigel Stevenson, involved an examination of an immune molecule called interferon produced by cells that are being infected by a virus in order to deter the invading pathogen. The discovery, it is hoped, will open the door to new therapeutic options which will be able to help restore the natural immunity of people against a host of problematic viruses.

UCD: University College Dublin Creates Digital Multimedia Edition of James Joyce Novel To commemorate the 100th anniversary of the publication of James Joyce’s first novel, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. University College Dublin has brought together literary academics, computer scientists, and actors to create a digital multimedia edition of the novel. Included on the website is a map of all the locations that Stephen Dedalus, protagonist of the novel, travels to around Dublin. “It is on Google Maps, so if you want to travel around all the locations it will show you where Stephen lived, walked around or was educated, and how it is in parallel to Joyce’s own journey,” said Gerardine Meaney, a professor of cultural theory at University College Dublin in a press statement.

NUIG: A Galway West TD is pushing for new legislation to ensure the incoming NUI Galway president speaks Irish. Eamon O Cuiv is seeking leave to bring a bill before the Dáil tomorrow, which would ensure the new president is capable of doing business in both Irish and English. Deputy O Cuiv’s University College Galway Amendment Bill 2017 will be brought before the Dáil for discussion.

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express NEWS HSE issues public health message on drug use in the Cork City area.

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is in a powder or pill just by looking at it.

It may look like the drug you want to purchase but it may well be something else.”

Ciaran O’Halloran, Deputy News Editor who died due to a cocktail of drugs last year, which included U-47700. The HSE The HSE has issued a public health warn- has issued a warning about the substance, ing about a new synthetic drug, which which looks like cocaine and is nearly Gardaí believe was responsible for the eight times stronger than heroin. death of a 16-year-old boy in Cork City earlier this month. Gardaí believe that The drug, which was developed in 1976 Michael Cornacchia died as a result of by chemist Jacob Szmuszkovicz for Uptaking a synthetic opioid called U-47700, john, was tested on animals and found to after traces of the drug were found in the be more potent than morphine, but with supposedly less addictive potential. The boy’s home at Deermount in Deerpark. drug was intended to treat severe pain asThe tests on white powder found at the sociated with cancer, surgery, or injury, scene confirmed that the powder was a but was never tested on humans, never synthetic drug called U-47700, which has produced commercially and ended up bealready been blamed for a dozen deaths ing relegated to research. in the US, including that of singer Prince,

Last November the US Drug Enforcement Agency added U-47700 to its list of Schedule One drugs that has a high potential for abuse, and no current medical use, after dozens of deaths. While several US states, including Ohio, Florida, Georgia and Oregon, have all moved to ban the drug.

In relation to its similar appearance to cocaine, the HSE advises that there is no guarantee that the drug you think you are buying and consuming is in fact the drug you are sold. “We are aware that substances sold as cocaine may in fact contain other substances such as synthetic opioids. There is no way of telling what

The HSE added “There is no quality control on illegal drugs. There can be problems with purity and contaminants in all illegal drugs. It is always better not to take unknown or illicit drugs at all due to unwanted and serious medical and psychological side effects.” For those that decide to use illicit drugs, the HSE advises to never mix your drugs with alcohol or other drugs (legal or illegal), as they can all interact dangerously with each other. They also recommend taking a smaller amount of a substance if you’re unsure of its source, and to always have a friend with you who can call the emergency services for help if you suffer a negative reaction.

If you have concerns around drug use please contact the confidential HSE Drugs & Alcohol Helpline at freephone 1800 459 459 or email helpline@hse. ie. Information can also be accessed at www.drugs.ie.

Outgoing UCC President comments on the influence of industry and on his own record.

Chris McCahill, News Editor UCC’s outgoing President Dr. Michael Murphy has claimed Businesses and industry have too great an influence on Ireland’s research agenda. Murphy believes that the sector has become over-represented on bodies which award funding, which in-turn decides which disciplines should be prioritised when

It comes to higher education research.

However, Murphy said he wishes to see greater financial input from employers to third level education in the form of ring fenced taxes or levies, and from philanthropy, which he believes can be used to greater extents to help colleges and universities.

advisory bodies is a matter for government ministers to decide. However, his concerns are not confined just to funding for science, as Murphy believes research in the humanities and even some sciences, such as mathematics, are being underfunded due to an unjustified emphasis on industry and job creation.

Dr. Murphy however did acknowledge that industry should have a say in University governance to ensure that they are sufficiently aware of the needs of businesses. “We also have to be very careful about the extent to which we permit the business sector to influence the overall agenda. I have a concern at the extent to which the business community has become the dominant voice in the research agenda.” For Murphy the problem lies at a ministerial level, as the appointment of directors to Science foundation Ireland and other funding or

Dr. Murphy also made some comments on his own record. He defended the decision to name a building in UCC’s health science complex after Nobel laureate James Watson. The decision was criticised by UCC’s Student Union and by some academic staff due to past comments by Watson, which they alleged were racist and misogynist. Dr. Murphy did regret that there was not further consultation in the process, but did say that the naming process was being revised to take greater account of views from the University.

Among his own personal proudest achievements is the fact that student satisfaction rates have remained high despite the effects of funding cuts on the university. He is also proud of UCC’s position in world university rankings, which is higher than when he took office, despite a slide in recent years due to reduced budgets and staff. UCC received its first funding increase for staff and running costs from the government in over a decade. Such funding was cut by almost 60% from €84m to €35m, but student numbers have risen from 17,000 in 2008 to almost 21,000 in 2016.

He made his comments in an interview with the Irish Examiner before he hands over the presidency at the end of a 10year term next week. He will be replaced

by Cork-native and UCC graduate Patrick O’Shea, who has spent most of his academic career as a physicist in the US.

NEWS

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

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Update on UCC Israeli Conference

Chris McCahill, News Editor The status of the conference has been the source of some confusion over conflicting reports and statements both in the press and on social media in recent weeks. In response to the confusion, the University has released a statement following a meeting of the University Management Team on the 16th of January. Members of the management team expressed disappointment and concerns that the issue had come to their attention through the public discourse and social media rather than through a formal request for approval or through correspondence with the University.

The meeting noted the following: that the proposed event is not a University-sponsored or promoted event but has been invited to the University by a number of academic staff holding positions within the

University. Secondly, the proposed conference has previously been the subject of cancellation at the University of Southampton, and of judicial review proceedings in the English High Court. Thirdly, the website promoting the conference indicates that after the University of Southampton’s decision to postpone, other European Universities had been asked to host the event, and refused. Fourthly, that the proposed dates of the conference, i.e. 31st March – 2nd April 2017, are during term time. The Western Gateway Building will be fully operational on those dates, with potential disruption of access to students and staff arising from the conference. The conference is not permitted to proceed on the dates proposed, which are in term.

And finally, that the University’s security infrastructure and staffing is inadequate to deal with the management of security for the event, given that the University is already on notice of protests. Additional security will have cost implications.

The Management Team concluded that it is prepared to permit the conference to proceed on the fulfilment of the conditions which include the following: Firstly, that a revised date for the conference needs to be agreed with the University, one which is out of term and not clashing with University examinations. Secondly, the submission of an Event Management Plan [“EMP”] by the organisers for the agreement of the University, which covers

all aspects of the conference organisation.

No date for the conference can be agreed until the EMP has been finalised. Thirdly, and finally, based on the Event Management Plan, the provision of a budget by the organisers to cover any additional costs to the University, particularly additional security costs.

the actual content of the conference: “It’s not an academic freedom issue, it’s simply a matter of ensuring that participants and students are not interfered with, we all have the normal day-to-day work of the university to think of.” He also stated no one supports academic freedom as strongly as he does.

The University’s approval is contingent on “That being said, this has to be done in a agreement on and fulfilment of its condi- reasonable and responsible fashion. That’s tions. why there’s a dialogue going on between the university management team and the However, it has since been reported that organisers to make sure the conference the incoming president Patrick O’Shea can go ahead in a reasonable and safe has no opposition to the controversial manner,” he added. conference taking place on UCC campus, “ ...it’s simply a matter of but supports the decision of the Universiensuring that participants and ty management team which has resulted in the conference being postponed. UCC students are not interfered with” has, as a result of the postponement, been accused of bowing to pressure over claims In support of the conference, the General of an anti-Israeli imbalance in the list of Secretary of the Irish Federation of Unischeduled speakers for the conference, versity Teachers, Mike Jennings, stated which was due to be held from March that he was confident that UCC will make 31st-April 2nd. a strong statement in support of academic freedom and for free speech by agreeing “The University’s approval is to host the conference, despite significant contingent on agreement on and pressure and opposition to not do so.

fulfilment of its conditions.”

The incoming president Patrick O’Shea, however, sought to stress that he was not involved in the decision to postpone the event, but did say that the management concerns were over security rather than

The conference, ‘International Law and the State of Israel: Legitimacy, Responsibility and Exceptionalism’, was originally planned for April 2015 at the University of Southampton, which withdrew permission because of security concerns.

Est.

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FEATURES

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

UCC Students’ Union Arts Week and Talking About The BA 1997

Aaron Frahill (CACSSS/Arts Rep) By the time you’re reading this it’s probably halfway through the week (30th January – 3rd February 2017), and while you mightn’t get to any of the events that we have planned for the week, I wanted to write a bit about why there is week, and the state of the Bachelor of Arts in general, because it is a conversation we don’t have. If anyone read my manifesto back in March last year, the shortest point I made on the whole thing was about holding an Arts Week, and strangely enough that will be the most definitive thing I’ve done all year.

I came to the idea after what was a mediocre first year in UCC Arts for myself, and it wasn’t anything to do with the content of my education, but two simple things that a lot of Arts students go through: the isolation of the course, and how meaningless it can feel to be doing a BA at times (I’m starting on an awful downer, aren’t I?) CK101 Arts or CK108 International Arts are different from every other course in UCC due to the fact of sheer size. I remember going into an in-class exam last year in Sociology in Boole 4, where every seat was filled, the stage was filled, and there still wasn’t room for a number of students to do the exam so they had to sit it at a different time – I don’t think you’ll find a sce-

nario with this many students elsewhere in the college. The issue with this is for many they come into this course knowing no one, and trying to make a friend in a sea of students is difficult, to say the least. I found that what it means to be a UCC student, or a university student generally, doesn’t hit you till late October. And sitting in a Boole with only blank faces around you is the loneliest I have ever felt in my life. (I am getting somewhere with this, so hold tight!). Societies, Clubs, and the Students’ Union saved me from the question of dropping out, but I feel like many mightn’t have the same luxury.

The biggest gripe I think I had last year is the whole concept of the BA being a lesser degree than everything else. I was sitting in a linear algebra module last year, and I was left stumped as to why people think I can’t change a lightbulb, and how my destiny lies in the making of chips down in McDonald’s. This atmosphere is a societal thing, and while it’s something I can’t

change, trying to make a dent at it is the best thing I can do. Since I started the position of CACSSS Rep back in July, I have had to deal with people who do feel worthless just because they will be leaving University with BA at the start of their degree.

I know (mainly because I’ve had a meeting with them) that the career services would tell you the opposite, and for anyone who feels this way I would highly recommend them.

It’s been pretty negative up until this point, and that leads me to why I decided to push the Students’ Union to help me organise an Arts Week this year. This week is my attempt to show BA students and the University that there is a lot to be celebrated about us. I know everyone is going to look at the week and just see Arts Ball, but I have scheduled stuff around it that should interest a wide variety of students out there.

I’ve a speaker series organised for Monday at 2pm (yeah yesterday), Tuesday at 2pm, and Thursday at 1pm – Dr. Neil Buttimer is

speaking on the BA within UCC, and how’s it been for him as a student to a lecturer, and he will mention a heritage- orientated work programme he was involved with trying to set up years ago. On the Tuesday (so if you’re reading this, like, just as this issue rushed onto campus, you might have a chance to make it), the UCC Careers Services will be doing some myth busting in relation to assumptions about the BA, and they’ll also being talking the future after your BA. If you want to see any of the other events on this week, and figure out the details of the comedy gig on Wednesday evening, take a look at the Facebook event, which has the timetable, or else email me on artsrep@uccsu.ie – I hope there’s something of interest there for you! This week was set up to help students, and if it helps even one person out there, I’ll be happy. I’ll be at all of the events hopefully, so feel free to stop me for a chat if you want. Enjoy the week!

FEATURES

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

R&G week - 1 year on Mary Collins, Features editor

Raise and Give Week (R&G, or RAG Week) is always mentioned as a charitable endeavour. Every year, at every event on campus, there are white buckets jangling with change for the less fortunate, But after you drop in a few coins, have you ever wondered what happens to the money afterwards?

The charities for R&G week last year were Marymount hospice, Pieta House, Surgeon Noonan and Rape Crisis Network. A year later, this is how the money raised in UCC helped out.

Marymount Hospice- received €4000 Marymount Hospice, located in Curraheen, is the designated Specialist Care facility for Cork and Kerry, serving about 600,000 people. They provide care for the elderly in the form of respite care, intermediate palliative care and continuing care for those with long-term issues. They also provide support to patients with progressive illnesses, cancer and otherwise. People with active treatment may benefit from short stays as they help address patients who need support with managing pain and symptoms in general.

“The money we receive from donations is an essential part of our funding. While we offer our necessary palliative care services to patients and their families so as no one is excluded due to lack of resources, we only receive 70% of funding from the state so the fundraising money is essential to our existence.”

“we only receive 70% of funding from the state so the fundraising money is essential to our existence.”

Surgeon Noonan- received €4000 From Mags Carey, Chairperson; “UCC Surgeon Noonan is a registered charity, CHY10103, run by 4th year medical students.

Each year, the students raise funds, all of which goes directly towards underfunded rural hospitals in Africa.

This year they will be sending forty six students to hospitals in Tanzania, Malawi, Ghana and Zambia. These students will then work voluntarily in the hospitals for four weeks.

Students cover all travel expenses themselves, ensuring that 100% of funds raised goes towards the beneficiary hospitals.

They run a variety of fundraising events throughout the academic year, including the annual Surgeon Noonan Ball, Grand Raffle, etc.

The finance which they provide to these hospitals not only serves as maintenance funding, but also subsidizes larger projects. Examples of such developments undertaken with the aid of the Surgeon Noonan Society include the building of new wards, a surgical unit and the introduction of an HIV Outreach Clinic. Some hospitals solely rely on the funding of Surgeon Noonan.

For those who participate, it is the experience of a lifetime, and has been an extremely rewarding aspect of university for UCC medical students for the past 40 years.”

Pieta House- received €4000 Pieta House provides free, confidential professional support to people who selfharm and/or have ideas of suicide. They

also provide bereavement services for those left behind after a suicide. They are the charity behind Darkness into Light, where thousands every year run 5k as the sun rises to raise money and show that light always comes after dark. They now have almost 200 staff serving .

In the last year, Pieta House have launched a 24 hour helpline, freecall at 1800 247 247. Their client numbers have increased, up to 60 people a day.

90% of the funding for Pieta House comes from donations and voluntary fundraising, so the money from R&G week was greatly appreciated, as the €4000 raised by UCC is enough to cover 4 people’s full suite of treatment.

“ the €4000 raised by UCC is enough to cover 4 people’s full suite of treatment.”

Rape Crisis Network Ireland The RCNI has many facets; they provide statistics on sexual violence in Ireland, work with Rape Crisis Centres where accredited professionals support and services for those affected by sexual violence, campaign to raise awareness and to end sexual violence and finally, they fight for justice.

The money raised by R&G week over the years has helped so many people in a variety of ways, now it’s up to you to ensure the trend keeps going. The charities for R&G week 2017 are The Saoirse Foundation, (with any funding raised going towards the Cork Bumbleance, an ambulance for transporting unwell children between facilities), the Sexual Violence Centre Cork, and Autism Assistance Dogs Ireland.

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Clarification Mary Collins, Features Editor Clarification: In Issue 7, the article entitled ‘Toddlers and Transcripts’ implied that the author was a mature student.

Mature students, as defined by the MSO, “are those students who are studying a full-time undergraduate degree only, and have turned 23 years of age on or before the 1st of January of the year they enter UCC.” The author was a prospective postgraduate student, not a mature student. We apologise for this error. Mature students make up approximately 10% of the student population in UCC. To be a mature student, you much adhere to the criteria above.

If you are a mature student, or meet the criteria and are looking to come back, please contact the mature student office at 021 4903670, or mso@ucc.ie A postgraduate student is someone who has already completed an undergraduate degree, mature student or otherwise.

If you are looking to return to fulltime education for a postgraduate course, please contact the graduate studies office at 021 490 2876, or graduatestudies@ucc.ie

Est.

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FEATURES

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

Science Corner - Artificial Intelligence 1997

we can answer with certainty right now.

Stephen Hawking recently gave a short speech at the newly-opened Cambridge Centre For Intelligence where he stated: “In short, the rise of powerful AI will be either the best, or the worst thing, ever to happen to humanity. We do not yet know which.” [5]

However, critical philosophers such as John Lucas have argued, using Gödel’s incompleteness theorem, that a formal system (such as a computer program) could never see the truth of certain statements, while a human being could [6].

There may be some truth to what Lucas showed back in 1961, but recent advances in processing speech, tone and, to a minor extent, the intention behind certain human actions, it’s easy to see why some of the best minds of our generation are fearful of the future to come.

Evan Smith, Online Editor “I propose to consider the question, ‘Can machines think?’” - Alan Turing [1] As we move ever-closer to the inevitable heat-death of the universe, our modern society is plagued with a question of its own making - can machines think like we do? The growing trend in popular culture is fixated on how the computers in our everyday lives think and make decisions, while the technological breakthroughs of the recent decade have sought to give computer systems the ability to think for us. To do this, machines need a form of Artificial Intelligence to make informed, quick decisions on our behalf.

What is AI? AI is not a new concept within Computer Science. The first steps into the research of computational intelligence were done

by Alan Turing in 1950, nearly seventy years ago, in his famous publication “Computing Machinery and Intelligence” where he posed the question at the beginning of this article. Turing was the first person to put forward a serious proposal in the philosophy of Artificial Intelligence - that a “thinking machine” was at least plausible.

The goal of AI is to build intelligent systems [2] in the effort of (1) understanding our and other’s intelligences better; and (2) to make computers and machines more useful to us. To define what an “in-

telligent system” is, though, is difficult.

Dr. Bridge defines intelligent systems as “Intelligent systems provide solutions to problems that are difficult to solve. The difficulty stems from the presence in the problem of disorder, uncertainty, lack of precision or inherent intractability.”

What I think the above quote means is that the system neither acts or thinks like a human but, rather, acts in an ideal way to solve a complicated problem based on what it has been told about its environment and what it can use to solve the problem. Artificial Intelligence doesn’t try to be Human Intelligence. It doesn’t need to.

What is it good for?

If you’re in any way interested in modern technology and services, or if you exist in the buzzword universe of entrepreneurs, then you have heard about how “Machine Learning” is the best thing since sliced bread.

Machine Learning is what AI is: a way for computers to use data to make an informed decision. Just like you may look at the weather of the last couple days to help decide if it will rain tomorrow, a computer can do the same [3].

Machine Learning algorithms are incredibly useful at emulating, replacing and automating human behaviour. A great example of this are Nest Thermostats used to provide a wifi-enabled “smart”

heating system for the house. The Nest Thermostat took a week to generate its initial schedule and from then on determined what the best temperature at each point of the day would be based on how, and when, the household had changed the temperature the previous week. Over time, the thermostat would learn what was best for the home and only turn on the heating when it was actually needed.

In theory, this would save the house money on their energy bill and keep the people inside the house comfortable forever without any effort from themselves. Unfortunately, a study by Rayoung Yang and Mark W. Newman, titled “Learning from a Learning Thermostat: Lessons for Intelligent Systems for the Home” [4] found that the system could easily learn the temperature changes but it couldn’t understand the intent behind them. For example, when a participant’s pregnant daughter was visiting, they turned down the temperature to make her comfortable but the system didn’t know or understand why they wanted it colder and continued to make it colder at that time every week until it was manually changed. AI is a powerful tool but it’s only as intelligent as its creators make it.

Will it kill us all?

Alright, I’m going to level with you, I’m a computer scientist, not a philosopher, and there’s a lot of debate in this area as to whether AI will doom us or if it’s just a case of ‘when?’ but, it’s not a question

“In short, the rise of powerful AI will be either the best, or the worst thing, ever to happen to humanity. We do not yet know which.”

Through popular fiction pieces such as I, Robot, Ex Machina, Terminator and Transcendence, we’re familiar with the fears of a robot uprising or an all-knowing artificial intelligence. Although unsettling (I’m looking at you, Her), these works will remain fiction for a while longer. Right now, there’s no reason to fear it so I, for one, welcome our new AI overlords.

[1] Turing, A. M. “Computing Machinery and Intelligence.” Mind, vol. 59, no.

236, 1950, pp. 433–460. www.jstor.org/ stable/2251299.

[2] Bridge, D. Dr. “Artificial Intelligence 1: Introduction”, 2016, pp. 3-4. http://www.cs.ucc.ie/~dgb/courses/ ai1/01-notes.pdf [3] Powell, V. “Markov Chains Explained Visually”, 2015, http://setosa.io/ ev/markov-chains/ [4] Yang, R. and Newman, M. W. “Learning from a Learning Thermostat: Lessons for Intelligent Systems for the Home”, UbiComp’13, 2013, pp. 94-95, http://mwnewman.people.si.umich.edu/ pubs/ubicomp2013_learningtherm.pdf [5] Cellan-Jones, R. “Stephen Hawking - will AI kill or save humankind?”, BBC, 2016, http://www.bbc.com/news/ technology-37713629 [6] Lucas, John, “Minds, Machines and Gödel”, Philosophy, 36 (XXXVI), 1961, pp. 112–127, doi:10.1017/ S0031819100057983

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ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

A few things to remember when you feel yourself falling victim to over thinking…

It’s okay to punch Nazis Eoin Doyle, Staff Writer

In light of noted Alt-Right leader Richard Spencer being punched in the face by a protester during an interview, much debate amongst many liberals has spawned as to whether it is an acceptable means of dealing with those who spread hate. Many hold the belief that in a situation wherein hate speech and the capitalisation on fear is used as a political weapon that reason, patience and debate are the methods through which political action must be realized. It is interesting indeed that there has been as much debate as there has, given the circumstances of the previous two years or so. In the last 24 months, we have seen repeatedly that in the public eye, there is definitely an atmosphere of fear and hatred that has built in a way that has seriously undermined the causes that liberals hold dearly. It has been seen in the rise of far-right populists around the globe, the Brexit referendum and the election of Donald Trump to the office of US President that in cases where democracy is challenged by arguments that pull on nationalistic lines, lines which are based on misinformation and the deliberate denial of evidence and fact, there has yet to be a significant gain for liberal causes against these movements in the last number of months.

The arguments that are often given by those of a liberal persuasion is one in which tolerance by its very definition means that as a tolerant society we must ensure that the far right movements that have grown recently must be allowed to exist. Surely this logic holds weight as the definition of tolerance can’t be debated. However, I would argue that when we look at what we as a society have, when we look at what we as a society have been through, when we look as a society at what these movements stand for, we must question if these movements are worth tolerating at all. Let us not forget that historically, we can be quite tolerant in extremely pick-and-choose fashions. The altright as far as a movement is concerned, is a jumbled mess of hatred and unintelligible

nonsense that only serves to add protection to those who fear that they won’t be able to ever reach a level of significance that they deem is worthy of themselves within societal norms.

When we look at what these alt-right movements demand, we see that evidence based arguments almost always prove that they are wrong, we see that many of them would have considered themselves liberals but recently side with these movements for whatever reason. It’s not a completely unreasonable argument to look at where this movement has spawned and look at it as unruly hipsters who were upset that society was converging more and more towards liberalism.

“They exist as a contrarian movement that simply looks at the world and says “no”.

The argument that there is a moral highground that must be maintained in order to overcome these fascist alt-right movements is one that in principle makes a certain amount of sense. When we look at the principles that we as liberals hold dear to us and the ways in which they have been challenged or denied in the past, holding our ground through reason and determination has proved to serve us well. The issues that arise in this particular case are that the alt-right movement refuses to accept that the possibility of them being wrong exists.

They exist as a contrarian movement that simply looks at the world and says “no”.

The very idea that we should look at them as anything respectable is laughable given that when we look at their “plans”, we see that they know absolutely nothing about what they are doing and that they are utterly incapable of maintaining any semblance of governance. The moral high-ground may be a beautiful concept in which we stand tall and proudly refuse to stoop to the level of those who seek to undo our work. The moral high-ground might well work against a rational actor who can not turn down the repeated findings of science and reason.

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A few things to remember when you feel yourself falling victim to over thinking…

The moral high-ground may cause those who don’t see issues in the correct manner to change their minds after seeing an alternative. The issue we experience then with the alt-right is that there exists no rational thinking within the movement. Repeatedly saying “no” never created anything, never built a society, never allowed for progress or development. The idea that we must take the alt-right as some sort of equal peers within the political arena is a farce given their evident disregard for everything that we have built our political arena to stand for.

The moral high-ground might work against a rational human being who shows sign of reason and has the ability to debate. The alt-right refuse to show reason and refuse to debate. It was clearly seen in the Clinton/ Trump debates last year, that trying to win arguments against these people is like trying to beat a wall at tennis. The idea that we can fact-check the alt-right into submission, the idea that we can beat them at their own game in arguments, the idea that we need to respect them in the slightest, is abhorrently wrong and shows that we as a society need a genuine perspective check in order to protect ourselves. The second World War was not won by holding the Nazi government to account or by fact checking the statements that they make. Fascism was defeated by those of us who stood up for what we believe in and refused to stand down in the face of bigotry and ignorance. So if it is the case that the use of violence must be used in order to show the alt-right movement that we will not let them win, so be it. As a believer in freedom, as a believer in reason, as a believer in political system, I genuinely believe that not only is it ok to punch Nazis, it’s a highly respectable act that all should engage in.

The next time you find yourself beginning to get worked up, worried and/or anxious about something that has been nagging away at you in your mind all day or even all week, just remember these few little but very important and true things; •

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Ask yourself; am I 100% sure that this is true? If your worries and stresses are being caused by something, some thoughts or doubts in your mind that you cannot even say for sure are true, then don’t let predictions and assumptions that may not even hold up in reality be the cause of you upsetting yourself. Until you know anything for sure, try to let it go, be patient and see what unfolds.

Overthinking is not going to bring you to any sound solution or realisation.

Breath. Think about all the things that are bigger than this, because if it is not a life or death situation you’re worrying about (I sincerely hope that it is not), then there are so many things that are bigger than the worries and stresses you have right now, and that can be a very comforting thought.

Est.

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express FEATURES Communication Complications and the Joys of Overthinking.

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1997

speaking at that moment, or because they are angry with the ‘speaker’.”

Ciara Dinneen, Deputy Features Editor By basic definition, communication is a two-way process of reaching mutual understanding, in which we use words, sounds, signs and behaviours to express or exchange information. More than just that, communication is a fundamental life skill, just as important and vital to human experience as is learning to read and write; if we do not learn to communicate we fail to develop an ability to adequately express our feelings and to interact with others in a productive/fruitful/prolific way. This sounds silly; of course we all know how to communicate… right? In basic theory, yes, but if you just take a moment to really think about it; what are the forms through which we communicate? How do we let people know things, how do we pass on information and/or “talk” to people (I say “talk” here because let’s be real, most of the time it’s through messenger or snapchat, isn’t it?). Think about this, and you will notice something missing; real talk.

Technology has had an undeniably massive impact on the ways in which we communicate. Imagine going a whole day without your mobile phone. Not just the thought of being disconnected from your group chats and snapchat streaks, but really think about all the things you use your phone for; think about all the ways you rely on that little (some not so little) techy box in your pocket. A lot of us use our phones to keep up-to-date with our student email accounts and blackboard, if you didn’t have your phone you may miss assignment deadlines, deadline or lecture time changes, you may even turn up for a lecture that turned out to have been cancelled. You had plans to meet someone, but oh no, you’ve been called into work… how do you let them know you will not be showing up in the New Bar at 5?

Imagine the chaos and freak outs on cam-

pus if the eduroam wifi and all of the computers and even blackboard were to crash.

I am by no means accusing everyone of hiding behind a screen and using digital messages to tell people important things, but it cannot be denied that these new forms of technological communication have made us lazy. The ways in which we communicate and “talk” to each other have changed, and some of the more straightforward and fundamental ways of communicating, as in actually talking face-to-face and listening, have been overshadowed and pushed aside by newer and seemingly easier methods of communication: texting, messaging, snapchatting etc.

“ Technology has had an undeniably massive impact on the ways in which we communicate” Have juicy gossip from last night that you’re just dying to share with that one friend you know will absolutely love it? You snapchat them, or message them, don’t you? Instead of making the effort to meet up or go see them. This is totally ok of course because meeting up with someone each and every time you have a bit of news for them just is not always convenient. At the same time, is it not nice to chat face-to-face and really get stuck into a real proper conversation? Even apart from idle gossip, and more importantly, we sometimes rely too much on technology based social media forms to tell people things that we fear may be too awkward to say in person. It isn’t too uncommon to hear of someone ending a relationship with their partner through text message, that being just one of many possible examples…

Psychologist Liraz Margalit, in an article for Psychology Today, wrote about The

Psychology Behind Social Media Interactions to explain why it is we feel it easier to use digital forms of communication as opposed to talking to someone face-to-face; “Studies have found that day-to-day interactions are based almost entirely on nonverbal communication… we are continuously processing wordless signals like facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, body language, eye contact… These nonverbal signals… enable us to infer the other person’s intentions, as well as how involved they are in the conversation, whether they are stressed or relaxed, if they are attracted to us, and so on… Nonverbal signals add a level of depth to the interaction… online interactions… are founded on minimal constrained social cues… Hence, it is easier to hide our emotions behind an email, a Facebook post or a tweet.”

This very interesting article also reminds us of what we are missing out on by relying in social media forms of communication by explaining how face-to-face interaction is considered a ‘synchronised’ form of communication that can portray to us a lot more than just words in a text message can; “One person is silent while the other speaks, one nods while the other explains, and one knows the other isn’t necessarily finished speaking even if they’re silent; we can tell when our counterpart is processing information. Synchronized behaviour is impossible online, as we cannot see the other person. If a person asks, “Are you there?” in a messaging platform and does not receive an immediate answer, there is no way to ascertain whether the other person has not answered because they are not there, because they do not feel like

There seems to be this whole big stigma around talking about things. Whenever somebody is told to “talk about it,” the whole prospect is made into such a huge ordeal, and it provokes this universal sense of dread and anxiety; “talk to her about it, are you kidding me? That makes it very serious” or “say it to him? No way. That would be weird, wouldn’t it?” I don’t mean major “ok, you should sit down, I have something to say” type talks, I mean simply saying things how they are instead of playing these mind games with ourselves where we assume what the other person is or might think, before we’ve even said anything or made any effort whatsoever to actually find out. This constant and almost instinctive tendency to make assumptions about what others around us are thinking or feeling is toxic and can be so awfully damaging and negatively consequential, yet we do it all the time because it’s what we do, it is the way things are; that we don’t really properly talk about things and instead make assumption upon assumption upon assumption until both people, or group of people, eventually, after spending much too long silently debating and thinking and assuming and overthinking, figure out what the other/others is thinking/feeling about something.

Of course we talk loads, to friends and together w e dissect and

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

Continued from the last page... tease apart all the details to try and come up with explanations, reasons, signs and hidden messages, but we seem to forget that there is another way; to just say it out straight. Ask your friend if she is upset or mad with you, and you’ll get your answer without tormenting yourself trying to analyse her every move and look and word… then you can begin to work on a solution to the situation, if there even is a situation, it may turn out that it was all just in your head and/or a little bit of a misunderstanding. Ask the person where you stand with each other; there comes a point when you can no longer tip toe round these things in the hopes that what you’re assuming is right. Isn’t this how so many people get hurt? One assumes it’s more than what it is and the other assumes it’s not a thing at all and then something happens and because there wasn’t any real talk or upfront-ness or honesty, someone is inevitably left hurt and/or disappointed? These are examples, of course, but the same problem lies at the heart of them all: lack of communication, and proper communication at that.

All of these communication complications are a huge contributing factor to a very self-destructing habit we all fall victim to:

Overthinking, or the art of creating problems for oneself that may not even be there; a concept most, if not all, of us can understand and relate to. How long do you spend mulling over and retouching your next Instagram post, making sure you look okay and trying to come up with the perfectly witty caption? How often do you check your phone when waiting for a reply from the person you’ve bravely sent that message to, to see if they’ve “read” it yet? And does it grate on your nerves to be ‘left on read’? Think back on the number of times you’ve screenshotted a conversation, sending the screenshots on to friends or even into group chats, to decipher just what this person is saying and to come up with the best reply. Things become so much more intense when dealing with a crush; do you find yourself going over and over conversations and situations, trying to figure out the hidden meanings, or if there even is any at all? “What does he mean, ‘hey you’? As in, does that “you” mean something, or?” or this unwritten rule that says there is an ideal waiting time before opening a snapchat or message; “Wait, no, I can’t open his snap yet, he only sent it like two minutes ago.

Opening it now would make me look way too eager oh my god.”. We have all, at some

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point, fallen victim to at least some of these classic examples of overthinking.

We waste so much time and energy tormenting ourselves, over-analysing and overthinking situations and assumed hidden meanings in messages and looks and assumed-to-be-ignored messages (I mean, yes it said they opened the message, but any number of things could be the reason for them not reply straight away)… It is exhausting, and we could all do with giving our poor, spun out minds a good rest, a break away from this almost constant anxiety and worry; our minds are constantly ticking away and keeping up with it all is just too much sometimes. We are constantly switched on to an endless stream of technological communication and we don’t realise the toll it takes on our heads.

It is perfectly okay, in fact it is extremely healthy, to just switch off and take a break from it all for a while. Pick an evening you know you’ll have free to spend by yourself; turn off your mobile phone, pick your favourite movie and tub of ice cream and just chill out for a few hours, take a long nap, go for a long walk alone, take a long bath and concentrate on nothing more than breathing and letting your mind and body rest.

Opinion: Raise and Give Week - The Charity Disparity

Sidebar Continued •

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Ciara O’Riordan, Opinion Writer R&G Week 2017 is well and truly on the horizon. It is an event-packed week, and one of the most anticipated weeks on social calendar for the college year. Let us not forget however – it is also about charity.

The idea of Raise and Give week started as something that is about giving, a week that should be of benefit to the greater society. With the amount of money raised each year it certainly succeeds; however, recently something organised only for good has been tinged with a bad reputation as a result of the excessive alcohol consumption and poor behaviour.

At some point, from when RAG week first originated on Irish University campuses, to how it is viewed now, the focus of RAG week to that of the average student has shifted dramatically. A week designed to raise money for various charities has become the most anticipated social week of the year in which alcohol consumption by (on average) 18-24-year-old sky rockets, hangovers are commonplace and lectures are seldom attended.

Much negativity was brought to light during UCC’s 2016’s RAG week in which Labour Minister Kathleen Lynch took a stance in solidarity with the residents sur-

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rounding UCC and what she called “antisocial behaviour,” stressing the issue of noise disruptions, littering and, in some cases, vandalism to local properties. It is a nationwide issue in Universities, as demonstrated by the ban on Galway’s RAG week by both NUIG and GMIT in 2011, which NUIG’s Students’ Union credited to “the antics of a minority of young people.” Despite objections from students, the university maintains the ban, and instead offers concessions to students, including free use of the on-campus healthcare facilities for students, and an increased contribution to the student assistance fund.

Banning RAG week – a week designed

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to raise money for those in need, is such a drastic measure, yet it is also easy to see why this has been the case in Galway. However, an unofficial RAG week still takes place each year (the Students Union have stressed they are not affiliated with it) so the week of madness continues, except now there is no fundraising for charity. It would not only be detrimental to the charities involved, but also to the UCC student body, if such action were to be taken in UCC. RAG week is a week that we as students all anticipate and enjoy; we should do so, keeping in mind that the week is essentially about charity and the greater good, and we shouldn’t tarnish that view by reflecting a bad image on ourselves.

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Redirect your busy mind’s energy into working on something productive. Instead of staying stuck up in your mind thinking, thinking, thinking, try doing! Read, write, study, play music, work out… whatever works for you.

It will pass. Just think, that whatever is on your mind right now will eventually be dealt with and be done with and may even be completely forgotten about in time.

If it’s eating you up, get it off your chest. Seeking support from friends and getting fresh perspectives and different views on the situation may help a great deal. So, try talking about it.

Sometimes, if not most of the time, especially when it comes to overthinking things, it is best to let things happen.

Worry and anxiety stem from a strong desire to control situations, to will them to bend in your favour, but the reality is that no amount of worry or stress is going to change the outcome. What will be will be.

Surrender to the universe and trust that things will unravel and develop in their own time.

Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said that “if you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, and if you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Trust that what is meant for you will not pass by you, at least not easily.

Est.

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ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

The Conflict in Syria, in Three Minutes or Less.

1997

Méabh McMahon, Staff Writer People want to know what’s going on in Syria, either because it’s interesting, because they feel a duty to others to recognise their suffering, or maybe they just don’t want to seem uninformed in front of their friends. The problem is that you can actually read 10 news articles about Syria without understanding what’s going on, or why it’s happening. When we read the news, we see refugees and a war torn country, and ISIS, and persecution, but that’s not the same thing as knowing why those things are the way they are.

Let’s start off with this: Syria is a country in the Middle East. During something called the Arab Spring, where people in lots of countries protested and sometimes overthrew the people in power, there was also protests in Syria.

The president of Syria, Bashar al-Assad, cracked down on the protesters, which only made the people angrier. What started out as street protests and riots grew into an insurgency and full-blown conflict, with the rebels on one side and the government on the other. This part was simple: rebels versus Assad.

“ This part was simple: rebels versus Assad.”

Here’s where it gets a little trickier. We’re

going to tackle the Sunni/Shia divide. You might have heard people reference it, but here’s what it really means. We all know that Christianity has multiple sects or denominations, like Protestants and Catholics, and that those groups haven’t historically gotten along. It’s very similar in Islam, where the sects are Sunni Islam and Shia Islam respectively. You don’t need to know the theological difference - people barely know the religious differences between Catholics and Protestants - just that they exist.

Now, whether you’re Sunni or Shia makes a big difference in the Middle East, because it’s seen as part of a struggle between the two sects for dominance. Two of the biggest players in this struggle are Saudi Arabia and Iran, and we’re going to learn a trick to remember which is which. If you think that “it’s always sunny in Saudi Arabia”, you’ll remember that Saudi Arabia is the Sunni power, and that leaves Iran to be the Shia one. (And if you’re very stuck and can’t tell Iran and Iraq apart, try “we did Not invade IraN”).

So Saudi Arabia and Iran are constantly jostling for regional dominance, and this plays into the Syrian conflict. Most of the rebels are Sunni, so Saudi Arabia backs them by channeling aid, money and sometimes arms. Iran, meanwhile, supports Assad, and does the same for him. This makes

the conflict continually more dangerous, as each side pumps in more money and more resources. This dynamic is also playing out in other conflicts like Yemen, and it is easy enough to follow: two rival states are influencing a conflict so that their preferred side wins.

“Two rival states are influencing a conflict so that their preferred side wins. ” But the rebels and Assad aren’t the only people fighting in Syria: you’ve definitely heard of ISIS, though you’re not quite sure what they want. ISIS have declared an ‘Islamic State’, or a state for Muslims, in parts of Iraq and Syria. They use brutal methods to control the territory they control, and they’re linked to terrorist attacks across the world over the last few years. The type of Islam that ISIS preaches is incredibly harsh and radical, and very different to what most Muslims around the world practice. Nonetheless, a couple of thousand of Muslims from around the world have come to fight for ISIS, partly because they believe that the West is at war with Islam, and it’s their duty to fight to protect other Muslims. This view is made easier to understand when you consider US actions in Muslim countries since 9/11, like the use of drones and outright invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, ISIS are a terrorist group that wants to establish power in Syria and Iraq while

things are so unstable.

The last major player in Syria are the Kurds. Broadly, the Kurds are a group of people in the Middle East who want to create their own state just for themselves.

There are Kurdish populations in Iraq, Syria, Turkey and other countries. The Kurds are good for fighting ISIS when they are threatening their territory. The problem is that when the US or anyone else supports the Kurds by giving them resources to fight ISIS, Turkey gets very hostile. Turkey is an ally of the US and is part of NATO, so its stance on these things matters. Turkey has had lots of problems with its own Kurdish population, some of whom have used violence to further their goals. This makes US support for the Kurds in Syria and Iraq more difficult, as it doesn’t want to alienate Turkey.

The last thing you need to know is that these four groups, the rebels, Assad, ISIS and the Kurds, are all struggling for different territory in Syria, and a lot of the refugee situation comes from when people flee as a different group takes over an area.

As Syria is a four-sided conflict, it makes dealing with it very difficult, as you have to worry that if Assad is gone ISIS will get stronger, and vice versa; neither of which we want. The conflict there is complex, but can be understood: and the answer is not to turn away people who are fleeing this war.

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issue 8

Editorial

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out a space for themselves in some forgotten corner of the internet, in recent months we’ve seen far-right rhetoric normalised to such an extent that it’s now not surprising to stumble across blatant racism, xenophobia and jingoism on the ‘front page’ of the internet without much being done to combat it.

Bash the Fash People often ask me, “Lauren! Wherever do you get your ideas for these editorials?”

(I lied, nobody ever asks me that. But it’s a good starting point and so I’m going to roll with it). I’d love to say that I pull all these topics from the well of my own mind, but it’s more likely than not that I’ll need to search for some inspiration before settling in to write. Where do I find this inspiration, you may ask? Is it in books? Through meaningful conversations with my peers? Through self-reflection, even? Well, it’s something like that: I use Twitter a lot.

Yes, I’m one of Those People. For me, to be honest, the main appeal of the app is the pictures of cute animals, but it’s also true that Twitter is now where I get most of my news. I don’t use other social media to such a degree, and I only ever listen to the radio when I’m alone in my house and want some background noise (like an anxious puppy, I know). Every major world event that has unfolded over the past year or so, I have followed in tweet form. This is both a blessing and curse. A blessing, because it’s interesting to follow news stories in real time.

A curse, because Twitter can be, y’know, a cesspit.

We’re talking here about one of the main culprits in the ‘fake news’ epidemic (AKA ‘alternative facts’, AKA ‘powerful people are wilfully spreading lies and propaganda and it’s really about time that we started acknowledging this phenomenon for what it actually is’).

Whereas fringe extremist groups once upon a time had to eke

It’s not good enough anymore to claim that these phenomena aren’t having a real effect on our day-to-day lives. In finding links to news stories on Twitter, for example, you find yourself entering a strange ‘meta’ space wherein the news you’re getting from social media is increasingly centred around what’s happening on social media - what’s been posted, what’s being said, and who’s saying it - rather than real-world events, because often it’s the online reaction that gets more attention. We’re falling into a dangerous cycle: because everything on social media - including the news - can now understandably be suspected of being opinion rather than fact, it’s become far too easy to tailor reality to suit our own interests.

It’s become far too easy to blur the lines of truth and fiction. It’s become far too easy to believe what is easy to believe.

Presenting opinion as fact is a political tactic. When people desperately want to hold on to whatever power they have, they will lie to you. They will scapegoat. They will point fingers. The rise of fascism in the West is not an accident, nor is it an inevitability: it is designed to keep control in the hands of the already powerful by convincing the world that it is the powerless who are to blame. They will lie to you, they will lie to you, they will lie to you. Whether you’re complacent in that is entirely up to you.

Oh, and get off the internet once in awhile.

Have a cup of tea! Look at the clouds! Hug someone! Being aware of stuff is exhausting.

Lauren Mulvihill

HOROSCOPES

with Mystic Greg

Aries (Mar. 21st - Apr. 19th) - The stars are telling me something... I can’t quite make it out... something about you being… a heckin’ cool dude.

Lucky accessory of the week: Some heckin’ cool sunglasses

Libra (Sept. 23rd - Oct. 22nd) - What’s the biggest animal you could feasibly beat in hand to hand combat? Better figure it out soon. Knowing will come in handy this week.

Lucky game of the week: Hide & go seek

Taurus (Apr. 20th - May 20th) - Maybe someday we’ll learn that by punching nazis, we were the real nazis all along.

Lucky upcoming Netflix show of the week: Iron Fist

Scorpio (Oct. 23rd - Nov. 21st) - You’re so pure and good, the stars would hug you if they were not fiery balls of gas. Also be wary of cucumbers this week. Trust me.

Lucky purchase of the week: An aubergine

Gemini (May 21st - June 21st) - The stars really want you to wear less neon.

C’mon man, being luminous is their gig. Stop stealing their look.

Lucky colours of the week: Some nice, neutral earth tones.

Cancer (June 22nd - July 21st) YAAAAAAAS GAGA. SLAAAAAAY. YAAAAAS QUEEEEEEEN. YAAAAASSSSS MAMA. WERK IT. Lucky activity of the week: Cultural appropriation Leo (July 22nd - Aug. 21st) - In times of stress it’s important to remember that if you rub the nose of the George Boole statue outside the library it’ll give you good luck.

Lucky metal of the week: Bronze Virgo (Aug. 22nd - Sept. 22nd) - Look, I’m not saying you should fight the deli person who put the salad last in your hot chicken roll. I’m just saying it’s something you should consider.

Lucky sandwich filling order of the week: Salad, THEN chicken

Sagittarius - (Nov. 22nd - Dec. 21st) - We get it, okay? You just *wipes single tear from eye* really love this politics lark. Might want to calm down a bit.

There’s a point where it stops being ‘important’ and starts being just straight up irritating.

Lucky activity of the week: Being Quiet Capricorn - (Dec. 22nd - Jan. 20th) Y’know what’s great? Screaming into the void. It’s a good shout, literally.

Lucky noise of the week: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Aquarius - (Jan. 21st - Feb. 19th) - It’s your birthday and you can cry if you want to. The stars recommend the bathrooms in the Boole Basement, lots of graffiti to entertain you while you sob.

Lucky graffiti of the week: ‘My tears woz ere’ Pisces - (Feb. 20th - Mar. 20th) - Has anyone ever told you you look like a young Shrek? I don’t think that, but somebody once told me...

Lucky Vegetable of the week: Onions

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

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Graffiti Warfare: A Look at Banksy’s Best Flower Thrower

Sarah Ryan, Byline Associate Editor

A subversive genius. An anonymous contrarian. My most recent Halloween costume. It’s a name that recalls a gritty aesthetic and a bleak subject matter, plus a myriad of fantastic tales - from being shot at in the West Bank to sneaking his own art into MoMA. Though his identity remains unknown, his work certainly doesn’t.

Banksy is possibly today’s most world-renowned and controversial street artist.

From New York to London to Paris, wherever a Banksy work may pop up in the world you can be sure the image of the latest thought-provoking statement of the Bristol-born artist will be shared thousands of times over social media by news sites, art experts and enthusiasts alike. Generally, Banksy’s work is held in high esteem for its provocative nature and generation of discussion and thought around the Big Issues of our world today - corporate greed, chemical warfare, dismal consumerism and the despairing prospect of Paris Hilton’s fame, for example; but as pointed out by many critics (Charlie Brooker’s 2011 opinion piece for The Guardian, particularly) our understanding of Banksy’s artwork can sometimes be limited by a certain evasive feeling. Take, for example, Caveman Fast Food. At first glance, an analysis might be something like this: “Er, cavema... the fast food industry... human nature.. etc.” You know, you get it, but you don’t really... get it.

So, in this week’s Arts section, we’re doing a rundown of some of Banksy’s best-known works and what they (might) mean.

in a balaclava and motioning as if to throw his delicate bouquet of flowers (which substitute for a Molotov Cocktail) into the throes of a street riot. The rioter himself is sprayed entirely in black and white, with the flowers being the only source of colour in this piece. Banksy is known for being a firm pacifist, and the message of this work is clear. With the flowers acting as a symbol of gentleness and hope in a place where there should be a weapon of destruction, the artist communicates his anti-war stance and belief in waging peace, not war. As with many of Banksy’s pieces, it is now considered so valuable that it is kept under a sheet of perspex glass to prevent theft.

2. Cardinal Sin, 2011 In 2011, Banksy unveiled the installation of his latest work, Cardinal Sin, at his own favourite gallery, the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool. Cardinal Sin depicts the bust of a 17th century priest that has had its face sawn off, and in its place, tiles which create a pixelated image. Immediately, there is a reminiscence of the pixelated faces of criminals that we see daily on television. When asked about the meaning of this piece, Banksy told journalists: “The statue? I guess you could call it a Christmas present. At this time of year it’s easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse.” Cardinal Sin serves as a powerful statement about the abuse scan1. Flower Thrower, 2003 Perhaps the best-known of all Banksy’s dals within the Catholic Church, and about works and the subject of countless repro- the handling of the abuse by the Church. ductions from wall posters to tattoos, the It forces us to consider how the abusers are iconic Flower Thrower depicts a rioter, clad remembered in our society and who is to be

held accountable. Banksy states: “I’m never 4. Exit Through the Gift Shop, 2010 sure who deserves to be put on a pedestal or “I always used to encourage everyone I met to make art. I thought everyone should do crushed under one.” it. I don’t really do that so much anymore.”

3. The Elephant in the Room, 2006 Perhaps the most controversial of all Banksy’s artwork, for both the animal abuse allegations that arose from this piece and the criticism from many in the art world who claim the piece to be pretentious, The Elephant in the Room was unveiled at Banksy’s 2006 Barely Legal exhibition in Los Angeles. The Elephant in the Room featured Tai, a 37 year-old Indian elephant, who had been covered head to foot in non-toxic children’s face paint in order to blend into the wallpaper behind her. Tai was coloured a deep shade of red, with a gold Fleur de Lis pattern repeated all over her body. The Fleur de Lis pattern was extremely popular with the French monarchy and is reminiscent of lavish wealth and luxury.

The piece’s title is a clear play on words and is meant to call to mind an obvious problem that people ignore or avoid discussing. In the pamphlet handed out at Barely Legal, Banksy describes the piece: ‘There’s an elephant in the room... 20 billion people under the poverty line’. The Elephant in the Room challenges the way we think, or perhaps, don’t think about the urgent problem of global poverty in the world. We sit idly by, like the two other subjects featured in the work, and ignore what is right in front of us.

Breaking away from his usual media, Exit Through the Gift Shop is Banksy’s first and only film. Seemingly beginning as a street art and graffiti documentary, documenting the exploits of street artists like Space Invader and Shepard Fairey, Exit Through the Gift Shop takes an unusual turn as it follows the transformation of a kooky shop owner turned film-maker, Thierry Guetta, into the bizarre, eccentric persona of Mr.Brainwash. The film seems to challenge preconceived notions of firstly what art is, and secondly how we define what makes ‘good art’. Towards the end of the film, as Mr.Brainwash rigorously pours out batch after batch of artwork, made in almost mechanic, formulaic way, the concept of art seems to lose all meaning, and we are left questioning everything. It seems as though Banksy feels the same way: “It’s not Gone with the Wind, but… there’s probably a moral in there somewhere.”

Film & TV

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Kathryn Bigelow, director of The Hurt Locker and the only woman to win the Academy Award for Best Director

Movie Recommendations We are firmly in award season, so I was thinking back to recent years’ ceremonies, and what hasn’t been remembered – Scorsese’s Hugo has been seemingly erased from the face of the Earth when talking about Scorsese or awards, but I must say highly enjoyable if you want to get some good vibes going.

New to Netflix I forgot to mention last time that The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was added, and now we also have A Series of Unfortunate Events – so if you feel like Jim Carrey wasn’t a perfect Count Olaf (you twisted individual) than Neil Patrick Harris is here to fix that.

Just Out Split has seemingly proved that Shyamalan is definitely back, and we also have xXx: Return of Xander Cage – I can’t recommend that one, what type of name is Zander?

Person of the Hour Christian Slater – I don’t think I need to justify why this hero has taken t h e title this week

Gender Equality in the Film Industry Aaron Frahill – Film & Television Editor

The film industry has been accused in recent years of neglecting diversity, and gained the most mainstream traction around the time of the Oscars last year – and while the Academy Awards seemingly pledged to strive towards resolving the issue over the coming years by spreading out its voter base, the issue is far from fixed. The point I’m making here is that this argument that went on last year has definitely been recognised – yet a massive matter that is very much neglected is gender equality within the industry.

This changes the frame of the situation, and I think points to a more reasonable explanation rather than the narrative Portman was trying to create. If we look at a similar state of affairs, The Avengers had Robert Downey Jr as an executive producer, with the film going onto make over $1 Billion worldwide, meaning a big pay-out for him. Something to also note from that film is that Scarlett Johansson was the joint-second highest paid individual of the actors’ salaries, meaning she was paid more than a lot of actors who had previously led films such as Captain America, and Thor.

The pay of actresses is the main focus of most controversial instances where this topic comes up, and I am of the firm opinion that this is a case of dying on the wrong hill within the industry – I think the plight of female filmmakers and writers should form the focal point of the majority of arguments in the area.

A recent study conducted by San Diego State’s Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film found that only 7% of the top 250 grossing films of 2016 were directed by females, and women made up only 13% of writers. This is shocking. I want you to think of a film that you saw last year that was directed or written by a woman – it is not an easy question to answer.

You may have seen headlines like “Ashton Kutcher paid three times more than Natalie Portman for No Strings Attached,” and it admittedly sparked some debate on the issue. That situation appears incredibly black and white, with Portman being given less for some reason, which she claimed was linked to her gender – but if you dig deeper into the cogs of the film they co-starred in, it may make more sense as to why it happened.

Portman was an executive producer on the movie, and what does this mean? Basically, your agent negotiates that you are given this title, and you are paid a relatively small amount for your actual acting in terms of time put in, but then you also receive a cut from the revenue that the film generates in the box office. Actresses make up a major part of film,

and if they make their voice heard, it is usually a self-focused one about the conditions of work for an actress – they are perfectly entitled to do this, but it leaves a vacuum: who fights for those without a voice? There is no leading voice in this conversation that we should be having about the ability for females to create films, and that makes me sad. If anyone read my piece on the Golden Globe in the last issue, this kind of relates to that in a way – I feel that those who have a platform to speak on the issue, such as Meryl Streep, don’t. If we look back at last year, we had multiple voices all reaching out to comment on the issue of diversity, but those voices aren’t there for this, so nothing will be addressed.

“7% of the top 250 grossing films of 2016 were directed by females”

The way I see it, the easiest solution to the problem, is for actresses to come out in solidarity of females that are involved in the filmmaking process. I hope to see this happen one day soon, but that’s not a certainty I can lean on. I don’t like ending articles on a negative note, but I can’t finish it positively, because we are far from a situation where we can resolve this issue – so we should be restless in raising our voices for those who aren’t heard in order to even attempt to fix this issue.

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FILM & TV Editor - Aaron Frahill

Sherlock – Putting It Down Like the Family Dog Aaron Frahill – Film & Television Editor

I think it’s over – Season four in my opinion has brought this show to an end. Season four felt like Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss (the writers of the show) had forgotten what got them to the dance, considering the extreme swing from incredible writing to the worst the show has ever seen. The simplest way to describe this season is that they shit the bed. Sherlock has been declining in quality since season three (even though I wasn’t massively disappointed it), and just the simple errors of judgement when it comes to plot design make the whole purpose of The Six Thatchers, and partially The Final Problem as well, redundant. A series that was designed around a consulting detective who solved crimes in a gritty, dark London, became about everything else that the show didn’t represent. Sherlock tried to change its tone, but completely forgot about the premise of the show in doing so.

[Spoilers for season three, and the first half of Season 4, Episode 1 from here on]

“The simplest way to describe this season is that they shit the bed. ” What was received by the public as a mediocre season, season three, left us with the cliffhanger that made you genuinely miss the show over the next three years – Moriarty was alive, and back to wreak havoc on the people of England, thus making the consequences of the season three conclusion obsolete for Sherlock. I was willing to forgive the fact this ending made the whole episode pointless, and made you ask what are the stakes, but Moriarty was back so what did it matter? Like, how did he do it? What are his plans now? Then the first visual sign that you were on a jetski rapidly approaching a shark came in the form of The Abominable Bride. The first lesson I thought we all learned in school about storytelling was that you can’t end a story and say “and then I woke up.” Apparently Gatiss & Moffat didn’t get this lesson, because this episode had the pacing of a horse on cocaine jumping from reality to the dream to elsewhere within the dream. Then Sherlock gets off the plane, says Moriarty is definitely dead

and Sherlock knows what’s coming next.

Did he know what was coming next? Of course not, because the writing made it feel like “oh yeah we forgot about that – we’ll just made Sherlock a loose cannon at the start of season four by being suspicious of anything that moves being Moriarty’s doing. “ And here comes my main gripe with The Six Thatchers – they give you a normal case, just like season one or two, but it’s suddenly solved! Then out of nowhere, there just so ‘happens’ to have been a break-in where a statue of Margaret Thatcher was destroyed, so maybe Moriarty set up that case so that Sherlock could follow a trail of breadcrumbs – but where does this lead to? Mary Watson. I’m sorry, but what were you thinking of, writing that plot? It is built on a series of coincidences – in episode two of season three, Mycroft ironically said “What do we say about coincidences?” to which Sherlock responded “the universe is rarely so lazy.”

Mark Gatiss wrote this episode, and is also the actor playing Mycroft – that is one of the worst set of connections I’ve seen in a story in a long time. This necessity to spend more time on Amanda Abbington’s character of Mary is the one of the biggest flaws of the season – she got her time in the limelight in season three, episode three, why did you think we have to spend another episode on her character? Mary Watson provides a host of consequences for this season that prevents Sherlock from doing what the fans want – solving cases that are completely separate to each other, this obsession to keep making the plot about our central characters is a constant hindrance.

Don’t even get me started on the con-

clusion of The Six Thatchers, the laziest, most clichéd scene that’s ever appeared on the show.

In terms of what this season was going for by deviating from the original formula, The Lying Detective provides the best possible vision of this “new” Sherlock. Casting Toby Jones as the menacing Culverton Smith was the best decision the showrunners made – the episode is a battle of personalities. And while I enjoyed the character, he isn’t Moriarty - but that asks the question: why did you kill Moriarty if you just try to replace him with a lesser character? I know change is good, but all they did was make it slightly more sinister, contrasting Moriarty’s psychotic personality with the charm of Andrew Scott’s character. The twist at the end of the episode also left me very excited for the next one.

I can’t really get into The Final Problem without spoiling it, but I do think they had a nice idea at heart, which ended up feeling a bit farfetched, and the conclusion was evidently rushed. By t h e

time you finish this season, you’re left feeling a bit empty; this season was kind of like trying to inflate a balloon – the show was losing air rapidly, started to fill back up for a moment, but it couldn’t save itself, finishing as a limp, void, shell. The ending is open-ended in terms of anything could happen after this, including putting the story of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson away for good. The motivation to return isn’t there, obviously the popularity of Cumberbatch and Freeman being the main obstacle, accompanied by the fact that Moffat and Gatiss haven’t provided an excellent season in five years – unless they can listen to fans (which Moffat has never done before properly with Doctor Who), or they just make a genuinely good script, simply don’t come back.

MUSIC

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Kanye Story of the Week Kanye West did not own a mobile phone until 2011, when Kim Kardashian became engaged to Kris Humphries. He only used it, according to himself, to send Kardashian pictures of aging basketball players (which was Humphries’s profession) and tell her that “This is your future”.

The Elation – XO Track Review Cailean Coffey, Music Editor

Songs you couldn’t avoid during refreshers 1. Shape of You – Ed Sheeran 2. Shout out to my ex – Little Mix 3. Rockabye – Clean Bandit 4. Human – Rag N’ Bone man 5. Paris – The Chainsmokers 6. Lower Than Atlantis – Safe In Sound ( February 3rd )

Gig Watch Cailean Coffey, Music Editor

There is a lot of both local and international acts set to come to Ireland and to Cork over the next couple of weeks and months. Scottish rock band, Frightened Rabbit, are taking the stage in Cyprus Avenue on Wednesday the 8th of February. Belfast-based Pleasure Beach are hitting the stage in Cyprus Avenue on March 2nd, as is acoustic singersongwriter Benjamin Francis Leftwich on March 8th. The latest summer gig announcements have also taken place, with Bon Iver scheduled to headline the Forbidden Fruit Festival alongside Flying Lotus on June 5th in the Royal Hospital Kilmainham. Belle and Sebastian are the latest act to be added to play Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens on July 20th, and Ed Sheeran has announced a European Tour that will see him play the 3Arena on the 12th and 13th of April.

RTÉ CHOICE MUSIC AWARDS 2017 Ruth O’Dwyer, Music Writer

The RTÉ Choice Music Awards marks one of the highlights of the Irish musical calendar every year, and it will take place on Thursday 9th March in Vicar Street, Dublin. This special and important event will be broadcast live on RTÉ 2FM in a four hour programme from 7-11pm, and the entire ceremony will be available to watch on RTÉ2 the week after.

One of the main prizes to be announced is the Irish Album of the Year award for 2016. The nominees for this award category were revealed on January 11th, which consists of All Tvvins’ album IIVV, Bantum’s album Move, Wallis Bird’s Home, The Divine Comedy’s Foreverland, Lisa Hannigan’s At Swim,

Katie Kim’s Salt, James Vincent McMorrow’s We Move, Overhead, The Albatross’ Learning to Growl, Rusangano Family’s Let The Dead Bury The Dead and We Cut Corners’ The Cadences of Others. Whoever is lucky enough to win this 12th Irish Album of the Year award will receive €10,000 from both The Irish Music Rights Organisation (IMRO) and The Irish Recorded Music Association (IRMA).

However, all of the ten shortlisted music artists will receive recognition through a specially commissioned award to celebrate their incredible achievements.

The nominees for the other primary award, Irish Song of the Year 2016 will be announced on Wednesday 1st February.

Cork band The Elation are set to release their brand new single, XO, on Soundcloud on the 31st of January. The band, consisting of Chris Cansdale on Vocals, Declan Kelleher on Bass and Keys, Billy Whelan on Guitar and Luke Tai on Drums and Percussion, played their very first gig as part of last years Indiependence festival, therefore setting the bar very high from the off.

The single was recorded in London with famous producer Andy Whitmore (who’s previously produced for acts such as Atomic Kitten, Peter Andre and Elton John) in the space of 3 weeks. The song is an upbeat, synth-led ode to working hard and partying harder. The songs is sonically very impressive, and the experience of the producer is noticeable from the off; the instrumentation and lyrics are of such a quality that the end product has no obvious flaws. Catchy, musical and authentic, it’s song that, while it may not blend entirely on first listen, will crawl up and become the song you can’t stop hearing. To promote the single release, the band are playing gigs throughout Cork in February, check out their facebook page for dates and future releases.

Liam Gallagher solo album for 2017 release Margaret Gillies, Music Writer

Speculation is growing around Liam Gallagher’s upcoming debut solo album, which is due to be released later this year. The former Oasis and Beady Eye frontman announced his signing to Warner Brothers in September, with WB Records UK President Phil Christie teasing that his album would be “big, bold and heartfelt.” Gallagher has already been added to the bill of sever-

al European music festivals, and ‘The Verve’ rocker Richard Ashcroft has confirmed that he will be performing live with him at some stage during the year. A video of Gallagher performing an impromptu version of a song in J.J. Finan’s pub during a low-key visit to Charlestown in 2015 is available on YouTube and it has since been confirmed that the song, called Bold, is one of the tracks on his album.

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music Editor - Cailean Coffey

Cork Loves Music Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

Following the success of TEDx CorkSalon’s CorkLovesMusic event last September, #CorkLovesMusic, in association with First Music Contact (FMC), presents a standalone series of free music industry clinics, as well as talks and performances, all beginning on Wednesday February 22nd, and taking place throughout 2017.

On the afternoon of the 22nd, UCC Students’ Union presents one-on-one music clinics with Angela Dorgan, CEO of First Music Contact. These clinics are open to the public, though they are strictly limited to six places. Anyone interested should send in an application to corklovesmusic@gmail. com.

That same evening, at 8pm, Coughlans’ of Douglas Street will host talks and performances from musicians and industry professionals. This event is also open to the public, free of charge. You can reserve a place at the event via corklovesmusic.eventbrite.ie Speaking at the opening event will be Ian Ring, music producer (Young Wonder/ aboveDat), Joe Kelly, venue operator/promoter (Live at St. Luke’s/The Good Room), Angela Dorgan, FMC CEO (Hard Working Class Heroes/Music from Ireland) and Ellie O’Byrne, arts journalist (Irish Examiner).

Theses talks will be joined on the night by special musical guests, including up-andcoming Cork bands Sillk (noir-pop/folk), The Sunshine Factory (psych/shoegaze) and Ghostking (“post-mortem”). Organisers have advised early booking for the event, as places are filling up quickly.

The video for this song is available on their Facebook page, and has reached over 11 thousand views within a few weeks. The music is a dark, jaunty tune, reminiscent of Andrew Jackson Jihad or maybe an incredibly deranged Neil Hannon. Undoubtedly part of a neo-folk revival that has characterised the indie scene of the 2010s, Sillk deserve a place among the Cork music pantheon.

The Sunshine Factory - Cruelest Animal from their eponymous EP, soundcloud. com/4thesunshinefactory8 When I interviewed The Sunshine Factory last year, I claimed they had the potential and talent to be truly massive, and in the last year they’ve shown that I may just be right yet. With the same Corkonian honesty & drive that lead Rory Gallagher to worldwide success, and influences in post-punk, blues, psychedelia and anything else you could imagine, you never know where The Sunshine Factory could go next. Cruelest Animal, arguably their most complete song, is a good place to start with this still-growing young Cork band.

Bass guitarist Steven Flynn also hosts a weekly radio show Mondays at 4pm on UCC 98.3fm, and writes a monthly column for Motley Magazine, called EVERYTHING IS PROPAGANDA. And you know it’s good if we’re promoting Motley.

This unique collaboration is designed to offer career advice from FMC, inspiration and network opportunities through the Ghostking - Athena talks and panels, as well as the opportunity from the EP ‘Journal of Public Affairs’, to discover the wealth of talent in Cork’s ghostkingisdead.bandcamp.com music scene.

ing under the pseudonym ‘Deadking’, has the potential & talent to be Cork’s new shining star.

Cork's Past Nun Attax - White Cortina from the EP ‘Kaught at the Kampus’, avail- I don’t think I really need to tell any of you about Rory Gallagher, or how great able on Spotify & Youtube he was; but if you need convincing, just Disconnected from the mainstream mu- google the mythical quotes about him sic hubs of Dublin & Belfast, Cork was left from Eric Clapton or Jimi Hendrix. You to create its own musical identity in the should listen to every song Rory recorded, late 70s & early 80s, an identity that can because every track has an almost spiritube characterised by the Downtown Kam- al quality; but if you don’t have time for pus and seminal punk band, Nun Attax. that, then watch the Irish Tour ‘74 film, Founded by ‘University College Church- available in its entirety on Youtube. The field’ lads Ricky Dineen, brothers Phillip film follows Rory, rather unsurprisingly, and Keith ‘Smelly’ O’Connell and Bel- on his tour of Ireland in 1974, and is probfast-born Finbarr Donnelly, Nun Attax ably the most easily accessible way to find shows the typical funny irreverence of the out what it means to be from Cork. In 1974 Cork indie scene, new & old. Appearances Rory was on top of the musical world, and on television and music videos may have one of the most talented guitarists there been filmed, but Nun Attax were truly at ever was, yet his humble nature and his home in their dingy mausoleum base, the quiet artist spirit shine through as a prime Arcadia Ballroom. Members of the band example of how to act when you make it would later form ‘Five Go Down To The big.

Sea?’ and ‘Beethoven’, and would experi- If you want to get a quick crash course on ence a modicum of success until the tragic his music, the “greatest hits” album Big death of frontman Donnelly in London Guns is probably a good place to start.

in 1989. White Cortina is a song that captures that distinct, odd punk sound that came out of Leeside in the early 80s, though if you want to hear songs with the greatest titles that could possible come I honestly found it quite hard to get a firm about, I would search out ‘Knocknaheeny Cork's Future hold of Athena; my mind bounced from Shuffle’ or ‘There’s A Fish On Top Of feelings of a stripped-back Bowie classic, to Shandon (Swears He’s Elvis)’.

Sillk - Switchblades Don't Sleep an uncovered Radiohead demo, ultimately from the EP ‘Time is a Clock’, sillk.band- settling on the feeling that this was some- Irish Tour '74 - Rory Gallagher camp.com thing utterly new. Matt Corrigan, operat- from the film of the same name

Bad Machine - Elastic Sleep single, elasticsleep.bandcamp.com It’s been over a year since we’ve really heard from Elastic Sleep, which is a shame, as it seemed as they were scheduled for greatness. Unlike the other entries in ‘Cork’s Past’ there’s still hope for Elastic Sleep, so I’ll be brief: Elastic Sleep were great, they are great, and you owe it to yourself to track them down.

Interview

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Cailean Coffey, Music Editor

Music has always had its place in Cork.

There’s something about the place, about the air, that just suits music; it’s not just weird fish and shopping trolleys running through Leeside, it’s music. Always able to attract massive international acts in the heydays of Pairc Ui Chaoimh, Cork’s first massive stamp on the Irish scene was undoubtedly Macroom’s Mountain Dew festival, Ireland’s first open-air festival, headlined by virtuoso blues/rock guitarist Rory Gallagher; Mountain Dew set the stage for the Indiependence’s & Electric Picnic’s of today.

Not content with hosting the great rock acts of the 70s, Cork was often the stage for new bands to hone their craft, get their first big start. It was Cork that gave U2 their first big gigs outside of Dublin, and despite what you may think about Bono, U2 would then go on to be one of the biggest acts in Irish history...all of it starting in Cork. From the lofty (if not dilapidated) roof of the Arcadia, to the dingy depths of Henry’s, Cork was always ahead of the curve...not that you’d ever hear Cork people talking about it. I mean, do you know that Nirvana played in Sir Henry’s?

On a serious note, though Crowleys may be gone, and the Ark may be luxury flats, the music scene in Cork is far from dead.

And while it may not have a base as infamous as Henry’s, it does still have the ability to create a buzz, to home undying waves of new talent. And on the lip of that wave are Blaming Hannah, one of the new top bands on the Cork scene.

Music editor Cailean Coffey sat down with the band to discuss their burgeoning success, and their new EP. Q: How did you meet and when/how

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Interview by cailean coffey did the band start?

A: We met through school. We were all in Kinsale Community school and we all... let me just gather my thoughts for a moment...well, for my music practical [in the Leaving Cert] I was going to do DJing - like, music technology and stuff and I found that you couldn’t do that and then I found out I had to play guitar. So I got Liam - who’s our guitarist now - to try accompany me and got another girl to sing, because I didn’t think I could sing at the time... One day we were practicing, I was doing harmonies, and the teacher was like “Jeez, Sean, you’re well able to sing” and so Liam and I thought we may as well start a band ‘cause Hugh, the drummer, was in his year. He was in 5th year and I was in 6th year, and the drummer had never played drums in his life so he was... he had to learn very quickly anyway. And the bass player’s my cousin, and he was like “Oh, Fionn, I wanna get a guitar. What guitar should I get?” and I told him to get a bass and join us, and he did. We started playing covers - really awful stuff, you know yourself - and then in about November 2015 we started writing our own songs, and our friend’s 18th was our first gig. We only did six or eight songs, most of which were covers, and then in December we had a gig in a shitty pub in Kinsale. We were standing still on the stage absolutely shitting ourselves. We couldn’t even call out the song names. But our bass player’s Dad recorded it and he sent it to his friend in the alcove and then they gave us a spot supporting them and we kept gigging and gigging, got a booking agent and started working on the EP in March of 2016 and now that’s about to be released.

Q: Nowadays, what's your Cover-Original ratio in your set?

A: If we’re doing an hour set we’d do one cover, maybe two if we feel like it. We try to do as many originals as possible because we believe that if you want to make a name for yourself you have to stay original. It’s true that cover bands are guaranteed gigs, so it’s harder now, but in the future we’ll reap the benefits of it.

“...we believe that if you want to make a name for yourself you have to stay original..”

Q: Who are your major influences?

able now il a av is ’ ve li A ’m ‘I EP t rs fi s h’ Blaming Hanna

A: Well mine personally - and I write most of the songs - are The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Nirvana, Black Ribbon Motorcycle Club, Arctic Monkeys, Asap Rocky, Kanye West - the greats, really.

Q: How was it writing the songs?

A: It came quite naturally. See, Ciaran, the bass player, had just started playing bass and the drummer was kind of the same, so I’d know roughly how to play bass and drums so I’d just go home, write the songs, come to the lads with the idea, test it out, and if something’s not working I’ll just jump on and try to work it out. It was quite natural though. We just decided one day in November, we started writing the first song, and by December we had like eight songs. It was just bang, bang, bang. See, we’d done the covers and we just thought - what’s the point in wasting our time learning new songs when we can spend our time writing our own songs, you know?

Q: When's the EP out?

A: It’s hopefully out January, February or March so the first quarter of next year I suppose.

Q: What are your hopes for the next 12 months?

A: For the next 12 months we would hope to drop a second single, release the EP, get better gigs, support better bands, hopefully get on some radio stations and festival shows, get an Indie label or something like that. The goal for us next summer [is that]we want to be hitting the festivals essentially, even if it’s just some shitty stage, you know, just to be there. It would be huge.

Blaming Hannah’s EP is due to be released in early 2017. Their debut single, “I’m Alive”, is available now on Spotify, iTunes, and ot her music providers.

GAMING

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Poochy & Yoshi’s Woolly World No, sadly this game does not feature Poochie from The Simpsons. I honestly just can’t believe that they couldn’t think of a better name for the dog in this game than Poochy. It’s a name synonymous with the concept of “bad, forced new character”.

Ah well, that’s Nintendo for you.

Sniper Elite 4 I’m just surprised that this game even exists. In my head this series basically only exists in Steam sales and that’s it. I guess it’s kind of like the Resident Evil movies, where they keep making just enough money to make the next one and the main actress is only in the movie because she’s the director’s wife. Okay, that analogy kind of got away from me there Nioh This is basically like a Dark Souls game but set in Japan.

It’s also even harder. Basic enemies in this game will seriously mess you up if you’re not paying attantion. I played the betas pretty extensively and it seems like this will be a very cool game. That’s it. No jokes..

AGDQ 2017: Gotta Go Fast!

Jonathan Soltan, Gaming Editor

Now that we’ve finally got the murder-happy 2016 behind us, that can only mean one thing: the annual speedrunning marathon Awesome Games Done Quick (AGDQ) has also just finished! For those of you not in the know, AGDQ is an event where many of the world’s top speedrunners get together to beat games as fast as they can to raise money for the Prevent Cancer Foundation. The whole event is livestreamed on Twitch and people donate money to reach certain goals or towards certain incentives.

An interesting run this year was two people running Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels using one controller. This run was one of the aforementioned incentives that luckily reached its funding goal since it was For example: “If people donate $5,000 to a lot of fun to watch. I thought there were this game then the runner has to collect all be a lot more confusion and failure during items” or “whichever name gets the most it than there was but unluckily (for me, donations will be the name of the char- anyway) the runners were far too skilled, acter”. Well, this year was an unqualified and the slip-ups were few and far between. success and the event, which ran from the 8th to the 15th of January, raised over $2.2 Possibly the most insane run took place million. Whatever way you look at it, that’s off-camera, however. In a separate room at the event, players raced to complete a whole lot of money.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time the AGDQ has taken place in one form or fastest using controllers dipped in honey. another since 2011, along with its sister Known as a “Honey Run” in the commuevent Summer Games Done Quick, that nity, this is apparently common enough to usually takes place in July. This year really have its own name. I’ve never seen such a was a rousing success though, raising over thing in action, but I can only imagine that $1 million more than last year’s event. It’s the sensation of playing a game with a conalmost unthinkable that so much mon- troller dipped in honey would be absoluteey could be raised for charity by a bunch ly horrible and incredibly uncomfortable. of nerds sitting in a hotel playing video One of my favourite things about watchgames, but here we are. ing these speed runs is seeing the runners completely break certain parts of the game “This year really was a rousing success though, in order to progress through it quickly.

What’s even more fun than that is having raising over $1 million one of the developers on the phone while more than last year’s they’re doing it. During the run of the event. ” game Kalimba, just such a thing occurred.

There’s something oddly charming about The events are a uniformly good time, having a player ask a developer “So if I do with everyone coming together to put on X and then Y then Z happens, which allows a good show, have fun and raise money me to beat this level in 50 seconds - was for a good cause. Unfortunately, I have that intentional?” to which the developer a job which means I didn’t get to spend a almost always responds with some variawhole week watching people beat games tion of “Wow. No, we didn’t even think of incredibly quickly, as much as I would that”. have liked to. I did get to watch a lot of what I missed on the organisation’s You- Along with solo speedruns, there were also Tube channel though, which is always a number of races throughout the event. good at getting videos of the stream up- There was an excellent Shovel Knight race in which the two payer finished within six loaded fairly quickly.

seconds of one another. There was also a highly entertaining Mega Man X 100% race. There was a three team relay race as well in which each team had three members; one for each game in the Donkey Kong Country trilogy. It was a long run, but very enjoyable all the same.

“What’s even more fun than that is having one of the developers on the phone while they’re doing it.”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. A staple of GDQ events, the Super Metroid run, was soured this year when one of the runners took the race a little bit too seriously and told the crowd to shut up. There was aso an unfortunate incident where someone got banned from the event for being near a “Make America Great Again” hat when some people thought it would be funny to pass some around.

The show closed on a very high note, however, with a run of the huge cult hit game Undertale. The run was performed virtually flawlessly and the crowd present looked to be having a great time, getting involved and cheering at all the right moments. It was made all the better since this followed directly after the unfortunate Super Metroid run. The show closed on a touching note, with the runner dedicating his performance to his friend and telling the crowd that he had been unable to attend due to undergoing treatment for cancer but that, since it had been caught early, things were looking good.

It was a lovely moment that reminded everyone why the event was taking place, and a reminder of the good that humanity can do if we all pull together.

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gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan

Nintendo Switch Revealed

Nintendo Switch Revealed Kieran Barrett, Gaming Writer

Nintendo officially debuted their much-anticipated new console earlier this month, when they gave the Nintendo Switch Presentation in Tokyo on January 13th. Although much of the information had been leaked beforehand, we did receive an official look at the console, as well as some key details, namely the launch date, price point, specs, accessories, and launch titles.

There isn’t much longer to wait for the Nintendo Switch, as it launches worldwide on March 3rd, yet the pricing is what concerns me the most - especially when one considers Nintendo’s competition in the market. I was hopeful that the console would be priced somewhere between €200 and €250, considering that the New Nintendo 3ds XL was in this price range. However, Nintendo revealed that the Switch is priced at 299.99 US Dollars, which translates to around 280 Euro, while the Switch is listed at 330.00 Euro in both Smyths and GameStop Ireland. I don’t know why there is such a gap between the price in these two regions, although if you were to order the Switch from abroad there would be significant shipping charges, so it would work out around the same.

The reason that the price of the Switch concerns me is the specs of the console itself.

To avoid getting caught up in all the technical jargon I will just say this: it has been stated that specs sent to developers reveal that the GPU will run at 307.2MHz when undocked, but 768MHz when docked. This means there is potential for games to run in 720p on the tablet when portable, but 1080p on a TV. 720p on the handheld device is fine, as it would be very difficult to distinguish between 720p and 1080p when viewing such a small screen (6.2 inches, to be precise). The detachable screen is similar to the Wii-U’s gamepad, although it has two detachable “Joy-Cons” on either side which are basically the controllers. These Joy-Cons are fitted on the tablet-like screen when the device is undocked, and are used as a traditional controller when the device is docked.

What is worrisome, though, is the battery life for the portable device when undocked.

The switch is stated as having a battery life between 2.5 and 6.5 hours (which seems quite the variation), but mileage will vary depending on the game. In a press release sent out following the Nintendo Switch event, Nintendo stated that launch title “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild” can be played for roughly three hours on a single charge. Results may vary, however, as less taxing games will obviously allow for longer play time. The Switch charges while docked but it will also work with your phone or laptop charger, provided you use USB Type-C. Personally, I had hoped the device would have had a bit more juice, considering it is a larger device than the New Nintendo 3ds XL and thus could possibly have been fitted with larger batteries, though I The Joy-Cons warranted some in-depth do realise games played on the Switch will analysis during the presentation, although eat up more battery than 3ds games.

I’ll try and synopsize the information. The controllers act almost like the original Wii’s Nintendo have always been savvy businesscontroller, in the sense that they allow for men, as most of their games hold their valmotion control, but they can also be used ue throughout their shelf life; 3DS games independently to accommodate multi- never seem to drop below €30 or €40, player, or as Yoshiaki Koizumi, the General and they also make considerable profit on Producer of the Switch, called it: “Sharing their accessories. The New Nintendo 3DS the Joy.” The less said about that, the better. XL didn’t even come with a charger, and The Joy-Cons also have a HD rumble fea- it seems as though Nintendo have grand ture which allow the controller “to convey designs for accessories for the Switch too, to you the feeling of ice cubes shaking in a with extras such as the Pro Controller cup.” See that, kids? That shit’s the future. priced at €80. There will undoubtedly be all manner of straps and dongles available

to accompany the Switch which will entice Nintendo fans worldwide.

The main event for the Switch is, in my opinion, the launch line-up of games. I won’t pretend that I know very much about Zelda games - in fact my association with Nintendo games primarily begins and ends with Pokémon. However, what I have seen of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild has me excited as it looks like a “more PG” version of the Witcher 3, and despite my apprehensions about the specs, the game looks fantastic. This is the power that Nintendo holds, as they do not publish games on other platforms; they force the consumer to buy their new consoles to play their games. I’m assuming the console launches with a game, as the Wii did with Wii Sports, yet the real allure of the Nintendo Switch lies in this new Zelda adventure.

“despite my apprehensions about the specs, the game looks fantastic ” Nintendo always seem to be lagging behind the likes of Sony and Microsoft who are venturing into the world of 4k gaming, yet Nintendo are special, and they continue to deliver. Maybe they hit the odd stumbling block, as was the case with the Wii-U, but only time will tell whether their decision to “Switch” things up is a good one.

fashion

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Models of the Couture Fashion as an Art Form Moment Iris Maher, Style Editor Nowadays models are becoming celebrities in their own right, similar to the models of the 90s, especially with the rise of social media.

Bella Hadid – The younger sister of Gigi Hadid, whose career is unstoppable at the moment Lily Depp - Recently starred in Chanel’s Spring Summer Couture 2017 show Iris Law - Another celebrity offspring, Jude Law’s daughter has just landed her first global campaign for Burberry Jordan Barrett - Won mens’ model of the year 2016 for Models.com Hanne Gaby Odiele - The Belgian recently came out as intersex, the only model to do so publicly.

Iris Maher, Style Editor

Despite the weather in Cork remaining cold, wet and windy, the world of fashion has launched fully forward into its Spring/ Summer couture collections. Fashion shows have already begun to appear in Paris, and will eventually spread across the globe. Autumn/Winter 2017 menswear collections have already graced the catwalks, but it is the couture side of fashion that has now taken its place in the spotlight.

What is so special about couture fashion?

Personally, I believe fashion in general to be an art form in its own right and that it should be recognised as such - even more so when it comes to the couture collections brought to us from all major fashion houses.

Couture vastly differs from the aptly titled ‘ready to wear’ collections most fashion houses offer. Also worth remembering is that the ready to wear pieces are sometimes quite overpowering in their own way. Gucci’s current ready to wear collection is an example of such, where the bright colours and patterns may be too extravagant for everyday wear. Arguments regarding couture’s status as clothing have long caused controversy, many of them following a similar critique of art in general - that of; ‘I could have done that’. One of the few places couture is seen outside the catwalk is at award ceremonies, where the extraordinary is quite ordinary.

I think that couture is not only an art form, but is utilising a greater influence from art, where the passions and feelings of the designer can be expressed in much greater detail than through conventional collections.

It is also inspired from art. The practically of couture clothing (in terms of durability, comfort and wearability) is not taken into as much consideration as the visual impact the piece has as it appears on the runway. It is not just clothing: it is a piece of artwork.

For this impact, how the garment moves with the model is also of great importance.

What is it? Couture is often art inspired; an exaggeration of trends which is scarcely seen in one’s everyday life. Iris Van Herpen’s and Guo Pei’s Spring Summer Couture 2017 collections are great examples of this; familiar trends of minimalism, frills and colour schemes remain apparent, yet these couture collections offer more textures, greater volume but also a variety and array of prints, often covering an entire Fashion is not only resigned to what we piece of clothing, whereas they may be seen wear on a daily basis, nor is it only an in other areas of fashion as more of a motif. expression of identity. Fashion within

couture is truly an art form of its own.

The level of detail and work that goes into making oneof-a-kind pieces is incredible. It is difficult to look at a couture gown or piece of craftsmanship and not believe it to be art.

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FASHION Editors - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe and Iris Maher

Quick Tips to Improve Your Style

Top Tips for Ball Dress Shopping Iris Maher, Style Editor,

The number one question to ask is, ‘Will I ever be wearing this ball dress again?’

If the answer is no, then there is truly no point in spending an extraordinary amount of money on it. Today, fashion is incredibly fast-paced, with high volumes of dresses on a variety of websites for affordable prices. Check out the online high street stores which usually have a debs/prom section on their website. Try the usual: Boohoo, Pretty Little Thing, Missguided, or Asos.

Set yourself a limit on price. The ball outing can be an expensive night, so do not forget that. Between the ticket, drinks, taxi, etc. it all adds up. If you are planning on buying matching or coordinating shoes, set a budget for yourself there, too.

Ask your friends for a loan of their old debs dress or one they have worn to a previous ball. Maybe change the accessories? It is up to you. You can always find a bargain in a charity or vintage shop. It does not have to be perfect - you can always go to a seamstress and have it adjusted to your preference.

On a similar train of thought, why not transform a dress you already own?

Bring it to a seamstress/dressmaker and ask their opinion on what changes could be made!

Kenneth Nwaezeigwe, Fashion Editor

So, rather like learning to swim, it’s important to start in the shallow end and then work your way deeper. Begin The second semester is in full swing by purchasing simple, classic, versanow; you’ve already had enough lec- tile pieces that you know will see you tures to make you wish that Christmas through any situation. Essentially, break was back, and you’re already learn the rules of style. dreaming of that mythical time after Find the Hidden Gems your end of year exams.

While you’re stuck in a routine now, If we all cast our minds to a few years you might as well be dressed well. Here back, it wasn’t Drake taking over the are just a few tips to keep you on the charts; there was a fresh young rapper who went by the name Mackleright track. more killing it on every radio station.

I would be lying if I told you the song Basics First Life is about progression. Learning ‘Thrift Shop’ didn’t inspire me to go that change is good – and accepting it – out and locate my own thrift shops to find clothes. is what being a human is all about.

The same can be said of fashion and Aside from it being an absolute tune, it the journey that all of us take from a really got me thinking about the whole complete rookie to a seasoned sartorial nature and culture of thrift shopping pro. What you liked a couple of years that is alive and well in America, and ago, you may not be such a big fan of the relative lack of presence it has now. For example, I was all about eat- within the men’s Irish style commuing Haribos (blue only) a year ago, but nity. A lot of second-hand shops stock a huge amount of women’s stuff and now I am all about that Skittles life.

When you first start out in the men’s very little men’s. This can be infuriatstyle game, it can all be a bit too much ing. Also, a lot of vintage shops seem to to take in. Men’s fashion has seriously think they can still charge a lot for an caught up with its female counterpart item that came out in the 1970s, which in the last decade, progressing to a lev- sort of defeats the purpose. el where the choices and options avail- When you find a few good places to able to the average male are almost shop in your area, visit them frequently. You may even get to know the peooverwhelming.

ple working there so they can give you a heads up when stuff you might like arrives. Always try it on. Make sure it doesn’t restrict your movements and is still slim fitting with clean lines.

The main point I’m trying to get across today is that vintage shops, second-hand/charity shops and army surplus stores are great places to pick up essential pieces of menswear that are of great quality for a very low price.

Colours Matter Colour coordination should never be overlooked by the man building a wardrobe. Well-chosen colours are like a proper fit: a detail that can entirely make or break an outfit.

Very nice clothing in the wrong colour combinations will still make you look bland and boring, or loud and foolish.

Finding a happy medium is essential to developing the look men strive for.

The most expensive clothes in the world will not look good if they’re not matching.

Proper colour coordination can help your outfit glow if it’s boring, or tone it down a bit if it’s too loud.

Also pay attention to your skin tone, certain colours make you look amazing: if you’re really sallow in complexion, sick to strong, bold colours which make you look brilliant.

Humour

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Music: NME and Miles Kane still in bitter dispute over who loves Alex Turner more.

Politics: The Obamas head for a relaxing vacation in Palm Springs after the recent presidential inauguration, and it is confirmed that no, you can’t go with them.

Crime: Gardaí warn of street riots in wake of the announcement that Freddo prices are set to rise to approximately €2.5billion post-Brexit.

Weather: “A light jacket and perhaps a warm vest for layering,” Met Éireann issues official clothing recommendation for February conditions.

Health: Spike in political awareness among narcolepsy patients as sleep specialists advise them to “stay woke.”

Sport: Rumours circulate that the 2026 World Cup is to be held in the Underworld after Hades makes record-breaking pay-off to FIFA Officials.

TV-Listings: RTÉ 2, Friday @ 6pm: The Refreshed Prince of Bel-Air. The hit 90’s tv show makes its comeback as all the old cast members have run out of money, and have been told by the stars of Gilmore Girls that “it doesn’t even have to be that good. Let’s face it, they’ll watch anything once it went off the air before 2006.”

Josephine McDaid and her husband Steve, who will remain anonymous

Woman Devastated by Milky Tea Discovery Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor

A woman in Donegal has been left devastated by the discovery of her husband’s depraved tea habits.

Josephine McDaid of Bundoran, Co.Donegal, says she was left “confused and scared” last Tuesday morning, after finding a cup of cold, obscenely milky tea on her husband’s bedside table. Mrs.McDaid, who had been on a trip to the Canary Islands with her sister, decided to come home early and surprise her husband, who will remain nameless for privacy reasons. On returning to the house, Josephine found her husband to be absent, with only the cup of tea containing what Josephine describes as “enough dairy to send anyone lactose intolerant to A&E with a case of the explosive shits” to suggest he had ever been there at all.

ashamed of his actions, “you can only hide your true self for so long.” When asked why he chose to make perfectly good cups of tea into such a horrid concoction, he claimed that “It’s just the way I am... it’s been like this since I was a small.

I remember my parents would gasp and gag at the amount of milk I put in my tea, friends too. I’d get made fun of in school.

But I just didn’t care. If it doesn’t taste like I’m drinking the tea from a Barry’s-infused cow udder, then I won’t drink it.”

left shocked by this disgraceful abuse of dairy products and creation of a tea that is abhorrent to both the eye and the taste buds, experts at Queens University Belfast say that this proclivity towards excessively milky tea is more common than we think. Studies suggest that nearly 1 in 10 Irish people make tea with a 30%+ milk content when alone. “Disgusting, but true,” says Dr. Neasa Ormond, leader of the study currently being conducted on the tea drinking habits of Irish citizens.

A neighbour of the McDaid’s, Carol McK- It doesn’t seem as though there is much enna, 86, says “Aye, I always knew there we can do to help these poor souls to cure was something quare about that fella. I’d them of their ways, with even social exoffer him tea whenever he cut the grass clusion and shame seeming to have little for me, or helped clean out the spare bed- to no effect on milky tea drinkers. They room. I used to wonder why he’d always are a head-strong sort, with no amount of refuse. Then, I started noticing that he’d ‘you’re so mank’, succeeding in deterring eat the Bounties out of the box of Cele- them from their ways. This warrants a brations, even if the good ones were still certain respect, and perhaps as a nation left- Maltesers, Snickers and all like.” we are entering an era when we must ask A tearful Josephine recalls the moment When shown a photo depicting the ex- ourselves who the ‘mank’ ones truly are. she confronted her husband: “He came tent to which her neighbour’s tea would home and I showed him what I’d found. He be milky, Mrs.McKenna’s face drained of tried to deny it, of course. Tried to tell me colour - she was left speechless. he was cheating on me with his secretary, that it was her tea that she’d left there. But When reviewed by experts, Mr. I knew.” She continues to sob, “It’s just... McDaid’s tea was shown you think you know someone. You’re in on average to consist of a loving, committed relationship. And a whopping 51% milk then, you find out they’re the kind of sick content, well-over the fuck that makes tea the colour of an albi- socially acceptable no mole rat.” At this, she gestures that she 15-20% of the averneeds a moment. age Irish tea drinker. “enough dairy to send anyone lactose intolerant Though many would be to A&E with a case of the explosive shits” Josephine’s husband says that while he’s

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HUMOUR Editor - Sarah ryan

Cup Stacking to be Made Official Olympic Sport in 2020 Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor

Speed stackers around the globe were delighted with last week’s announcement that speed stacking (or just cup stacking, to you and me) is to be made an official Olympic sport for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

The announcement was made by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) last Thursday, who say they are hopeful that the introduction of speed stacking as an official Olympic sport will make sport and physical activity “more accessible for the unathletic types.” This statement comes from the president of the IOC, Thomas Bach, who says he is delighted that the world of exercise is becoming more broad and inclusive of all ability levels.

possible.Though it does not involve as much agility as athletics, as much strength as weight-lifting, as much strategy as martial arts, or really as much skill as any of the other official Olympic sports, Bach said in his statement that “really, we just need something to even the playing field. Something the Yanks and the Russians aren’t insanely good at yet.” This was met by vigorous nods from all in attendance at the press conference.

The decision to include speed stacking as one of the newly-accepted sports comes as a result of its surge in popularity across the globe in recent years. Touted by middle-aged women everywhere to be a ‘life-saver’ for eradicating bingo wings and heralded as the beginning of the end for childhood obesity, representatives for the Speed stacking is a fast-paced sport which sport of speed stacking in the IOC said that involves stacking a set amount of plastic it was the obvious choice: “We had some cups in specific sequences in as little time as stiff competition from the table tennis

lads, who wanted to receive more funding in lieu of adding a new sport to the Olympic lineup. They were really pushing that 80s retro vibe, y’know? But, we knew we’d beat them in the end because, let’s be honest here, does table tennis really count as a sport?”

All 206 competing Olympic nations were invited to send two delegates to the IOC headquarters in Lausanne, Switzerland to try out the newest speed stacking craze.

There’s a congenial, friendly atmosphere in the air as beginner athletes from all corners of the globe compete together, laughing at their failed attempts to stack their cups. That is, until Chinese competitor Xi Chan takes his place and effortlessly creates pyramids of 3, 6, and even 10 cups, each in under 1.5 seconds. Sources present at the time claim to have heard President Bach hiss to another IOC representative: “Fuck, we forgot about the Chinese.”

Undoubtedly, it seems as though speed stacking is set to be one of the most-viewed sporting events of the Tokyo 2020 Olympics, surpassing even athletics, swimming and diving. Athletes are said to be flocking to speed stacking clubs around the world in order to gain an edge on their new found passion and be eligible to represent their nation at the 2020 games. One newbie speed stacker, Aaron McGuillan, former swimmer for the Irish national team, said of his decision to change to competing in speed stacking: “I am in my fuck training 6 days a week to get gold in the 400m butterfly when I can literally do a tenth of the work for the same result.”

It looks as if Ireland has found its new generation of medal-winning athletes in one of the world’s most dynamic new sports.

Move over Katie Taylor! You too, McIlroy - but to be fair, you never did much for us, anyway.

Cork Woman Consumed by Secret Scandi Addiction Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor

Cork City is said to be in the throes of one of its worst addiction epidemics of the last century, experts say.

With the arrival of yet another scandi-chic retailer in the city centre, the citizens of Cork have been shaken to their core and left helpless in the kitschy face of Scandinavian consumerism. Residents are said to be buying patterned boxes, with no obvious function or use, and nondescript pillows in their thousands.

One victim of this great plague upon our city, Anne Fahey, has even been left in major financial peril as a result of this nordic scourge. The Express spoke to Jack Fahey, Anne’s partner, who told of the devastating effect Anne’s scandi addiction has had on their family. Anne declined to be interviewed as she was too busy creating DIY pencil holders from salt-dough in the family’s ‘craft room’ (Jack tells me this is the family’s former utility room, which Anne now refuses to leave unless she has a desperate need for food and/or water).

or the electricity bills, or the mortgage.

She’d spend it all on fucking chairs.” He gestures to the 20 or so chairs scattered around the room, all in a curious shade of slate grey that seems to pervade the entire house, all with a uniquely shaped, yet eerily similar, pillow that has been carefully placed on each one.

I make my first tentative first steps towards communication with Anne. Jack tells me that she now speaks exclusively in a hybrid tongue of Danish and English. I point to the desk at the corner of the craft room, Anne “It started off innocent enough,” says Jack, smiles. “Skrivebord”, she says. I point at the “but soon, we couldn’t pay the heating bills,

We’ve lost our lives” The grim effects of the contagion that is ‘The Danish Art of Cosiness’ are scarily evident in Anne. “When people think of hygge,” explains Jack, “they imagine this sort of idyllic scene of snug Danish firesides, fluffy socks, and cinnamon buns.

Anyone who believes that that’s what hygge really is - I say, look at that,” he says as he gestures to his wife, who sits swaddled in a duvet at 2pm in the afternoon. Her face and hands are smeared with chocolate while she clutches a mug of some nefarious steaming beverage. In front of her lies the beginnings of yet another eye-wateringly shit decoupage project. She beams up at me, chair, “stol!” she answers sheepishly, childand though we lock eyes I feel as though she like; her English seems to deteriorate day does not really see my face. “...Hygge,” she by day, and endlessly, as all scandi-accidwhispers. iction sufferers do, she speaks endlessly of hygge.

Leaving the Fahey’s home, there is a heaviness to the air, and a feeling of a city under Hygge seems to be a word that strikes fear siege. Cork City Council has issued a stateinto the heart of Anne’s tortured husband. ment on the current crises, saying that they “Fucking Sandi Toksvig,” says Jack. “I had a are seeking to establish treatment centres handle on the IKEA addiction..even Tiger, I around the city, and are planning to implecould limit her to buying a few crappy notement an awareness programme in secondbooks a week. But then came Sandi Toksary schools, too, with the hope that we may vig and her fucking hygge. People need to save our country from the same terrible realise that romanticising this isn’t cute, it scandi affliction that has plagued so many isn’t funny...I’ve lost my wife because of it. other anglophone nations the world over.

Fiction Strand

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FICTION Editor - Sophie Mckenzie

Sophie Mckenzie, Fiction Editor

The beach was a fairly small one, and the village built around it – the village where I grew up – was not much bigger, so I suppose it was a pretty big deal when everybody woke up and found… you know, found it washed up that day. I mean, it took up most of the beach. Hardly something you could stop and sniff at for a bit before kicking it back into the surf. It stank, too. Not just the way dead things stink, either, or the way seaweed stinks when it’s high tide. This was something else; something that almost made you throw up the second it hit you. A fair few people did, actually. It was surreal.

A beautiful crisp morning with a bright orange sunrise over a blue sea, like you see in all those inspirational posters – and in the middle of it all, a hulking, oily mass of rotting blubber, slowly oozing tar-black blood all over the white sand, surrounded by about twenty people, some of whom were oozing a good bit themselves.

I wasn’t though. To tell you the truth, I was kind of excited, in a sick sort of way. I was the sort of kid who hated living in such a small place. I was just about the only person under the age of twenty in that village, not counting a toddler or two, and I couldn’t wait to leave. I had everything planned out.

I knew exactly how it would go. That’s what I used to tell myself.

O f

course, really I didn’t have the slightest clue, and I think part of me knew that as well. So when everyone started kicking up a big fuss about this thing, naturally I wanted in on it. Honestly, I probably would have welcomed the bloody Blitz if it had meant seeing something new.

There had been seals and the occasional dolphin beached here before, but never a whale. So I went around taking pictures of it from all angles like everyone else, danc-

ing around smears of oil and chunks of blubber. I remember that very clearly – no one made any attempt to touch it. I suppose that would have been the case anyway, but even the seagulls were staying away. Have you ever seen the sort of seagulls you get on beaches like that? The minute anything dies on a beach, rest assured they’ll be the first ones lining up to pay their respects.

But with this thing, they didn’t even show.

No crabs, either. Not even any flies.

It was the day after it showed up that I started getting nervous. The thing was, everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. I don’t mean they just weren’t talking about it. When people walked past the beach, they didn’t even turn their heads.

It was like it had morphed into a lamppost, or a boulder. Except it hadn’t. It was still there, still leaking and glistening in the cold, watery sunlight.

But it had changed. As the days went on, it changed every day. Not into a lamppost or anything, obviously. It was more like…I don’t know. The first day, it looked like it had been dashed up on the rocks somehow. There were gashes all over it, and a big hole where all its guts had spilled out and sprawled on the sand. But the next time I saw it, there weren’t as many scrapes. The hole in the side was still there, but all of the guts were gone, as if someone had come along and shoved them back in somehow. And stuff like that just kept happening. Every day I went to see it, something changed. One day it would be on its back with its fins sliced off cleanly. The next day the fins would be back on, but the eyes would be put out. It became a sort of obsession of mine. I mean, what

else was there for me to do? I started getting off at an earlier stop every day coming home from school, just so I could walk to the beach and see it up close. No one ever asked me where I had been. No one posted the pictures they took on Facebook or anything either. I took tons of photographs myself. Each and every one of them, black. Like, not blank, black. I just couldn’t explain it. Sometimes the photo would take, showing the awful carcass for a minute or so before fading to black, like the ending of a really disappointing horror film. Sometimes it wouldn’t even take at all.

Once or twice I ended up taking a photo of the beached thing as it had looked two days ago. And all this time, no one noticed. In that village, people usually noticed everything. Gossip was everywhere. Your business is my business, that sort of thing. But nobody ever questioned me, let alone went down to the beach themselves. Every evening I would walk the strand, the beached nightmare looming ahead of me, with not a living soul in sight. I would go home and eat dinner with that smell still in my nostrils, and my mother would ask about school and my father would hum nonsense while stirring the gravy and nobody would mention the thing on the beach. This went on for almost three weeks.

It happened on a Sunday. That’s probably why I didn’t notice all that much when I woke up to find the house empty. I had been left behind by my family before when they went to church. I remember I was making toast when I saw people making their way down to the beach, out of the corner of my eye. I had gotten into such a routine by then that I barely

noticed them at first. When I did...well, I ran right down there. Still in my pyjamas, I remember that.

By the time I reached the beach, half of them were only heads in the water, and still walking. The carcass was gone. I just stood there gawping at the place where it used to lie, while everyone I knew walked into the ocean. I didn’t even try to stop them.

I stood there in my pyjamas in the misty spring rain and watched. There was no trace left on the sand. No oil, no blood, not even a pattern in the sand. The breakers swept seaweed up along the shoreline and over the footsteps they left. It barely took any time at all. Like I said, it was a small village. And a smaller beach.

I lived in a ghost village for another week or so after that. What else could I do? I couldn’t drive, and the nearest town was almost a day’s walk away for a kid. I emptied the fridge and took packets of biscuits from the local newsagents and stopped sleeping.

Every day I sat on the beach. I couldn’t tell you if I was waiting, or what I was waiting for. Maybe I just wanted to walk into the sea myself. I probably would have died in that village. But then they came back.

They came back just the same. Oh, but their eyes…they changed. They changed every day. Just like that thing did.

They were faster too. Thank God for hitchhiking, right?

food

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FOOD Editor - Xander Cosgrave

Cooking from around the world.

Tartiflette Serving size, one deceptively skinny French person What you need.

A medium to large pot.

A frying pan.

A high sided baking/roasting tray.

Knife and board Xander Cosgrave - Food Editor

Okay, actually only two places but they’re 3000 miles apart.

Ingredients 1kg of potatoes 250g bacon lardons A Glass of white wine/Cider 2 cloves of garlic 3 shallots/ A decent sized red onion 200 ml of cream A whole reblochon cheese. (you can get em in tesco/the english market)

Mac N' Cheese

2. Make your sauce. Heat up the milk with the mustard, chilli powder and paprika, simmer it gently, and then start adding Serving size. Four non-students, or one the medium cheddar. Slowly mix in the hungover student. cheese, making sure it doesn’t start to burn. Turn off the heat and add your What you need. stronger cheese, stirring it to make sure Two pots. One for pasta, one for sauce it all melts.

A high sided tray. For serving/baking.

3. Taste it. Make sure it’s the right amount of salty. Don’t be afraid of adding some Ingredients more cayenne or mustard either if you 500g Macaroni want more oomph. Get the flavour of 500ml of milk the sauce right as you’re making it. If 200 grams of medium cheddar. Grated. you think the sauce is too runny re100 grams of a strong cheese. (Parmesan, member that you want it to coat everystrong cheddar) thing but not be too heavy, and you can 2 tablespoons of english mustard. always just put more cheese in.

1 teaspoon of chilli powder.

4. Once the sauce is cooked. Put your Mac1 teaspoon of paprika. aroni into your serving/baking dish. If Salt and pepper you want to serve it straight away, pour the sauce over it, fold in through and Extras serve immediately. If you want to bake Literally anything. it, cover it with some more cheese and Bacon. Feta. Spinach. It’s a whole world of stick it in the oven at 180c until golden stuff. brown.

This week, we’re going to do things that are a bit less traditionally irish insofar as they’re from foreign countries, but still full of carbs. It’s a fair warning that vegans and the lactose intolerant should stop here because these dishes are goddamn full of cheese and cream How to make it and I don’t want you to feel bad by read- 1. Slice the potatoes into 1cm ish pieces.

Boil them in salted water for about 10 ing these delicious recipes. You could minutes, until they’re slightly cooked try equivalent ingredients but I can’t and then drain them and set them guarantee it’ll taste....good? aside.

2.

Finely chop your garlic and onions.

Coming from one side of the Atlantic, Fry them and the bacon lardons under we have Tartiflette; a cheesy french a medium heat for 5 minutes or until Gratin made with reblochon cheese golden brown. Once they’re golden and bacon, it’s a wonderful gooey piece brown add your booze to the pan to deof comfort food that’s great for eating glaze it and cook most of the liquid off. in miserable weather (so all the time in Ireland). Coming from our neighbours 3. Mix your potatoes, bacon, onions, and garlic in your baking tray. Slice up your who are having a bit of an identity crireblochon cheese, (Leave the rind on. How to make it. sis over the other side of the ocean, we really) and layer it on top. Pour your 1. Cook up your macaroni in some salted have Mac n’ Cheese, and I’m going to water (It’s a so salty). Once it gets to al cream over it and stick her in the oven be showing you a really great, slightly dente (Slightly firm, mostly cooked), at about 180c until the potatoes are fulspicy, creamy version that’s good for turn it off and drain it. ly cooked and it’s golden brown on top.

Tips.

You can put everything in macaroni. Blue cheese? Check. Bacon? Goddamn right.

Spinach? Go wild. Pine Nuts, finely chopped basil and some Pecorino? You’re a bit bourgeois, but I won’t stop you.

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SEXPRESS

ISSUE 08 | UCC SExpress

31

STI Corner: Scabies Scabies is skin infestation caused by a parasite called Sarcoptes scabiei.

Scabies is a lot more common than one would think, 1 in 1000 adults get scabies at some point in their lives.

Scabies occurs when the female parasite burrows into the skin and lays eggs, which hatch and repeat the cycle.

How is it transmitted?

Scabies can be transmitted through sexual and non-sexual contact; though it usually has to be close physical contact. Sexual contact is the most common form of transmission, so much so that it is now considered to be an STI.

How to confess your undying love to someone Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and we all know that means you want to find that special someone to spend the day with, to find true love. If you’re a sucker for a Hallmark holiday that was brought to life during the Victorian era by displaying affection in the flimsiest of traditions which the modern era has capitalised on, and you really want to display some sort of undying love to another human at some stage, this article may be for you.

If you’re not planning on asking anyone out, and you don’t seem to have any difficulties doing so anyway, you probably need to skip onto the bit about scabies below.

1) Strike up a conversation.

If you’re planning on professing your undying love to someone you might want to get to know them a little bit first? That girl that looks gorgeous that you see around campus all the time who you vaguely know through a friend of a friend probably won’t be too enamoured if you tell her your feelings out of the blue. Try getting to know them, becoming their friend, seeing if you still have feelings etc.

Firstly, there are many ways that you shouldn’t confess your love to someone, including:

3) Weigh up the situation So you’ve been a bit flirty with this person, and they seem to be responding in a similar manner? Success. Move onto step

•

•

•

Anonymous letters, or anything anonymous for that matter; it’s just creepy and far too easy to do with various anonymous media platforms.

Over social media. Unless you’re in some sort of super long distance relationship, surely it can wait until you see them in person?

Getting someone else to do it for you.

Are you 12 years old?

But, if you actually want to try and declare your eternal love for someone without it being creepy (if that is even possible?), here are some steps you should probably follow.

2) Patience.

Again, that person you like, they probably don’t like you that much yet. Talk to them a bit more.

However, if they seem to be slow on the uptake, not regularly responding to your messages, or just out right avoiding you, it might be time to move on.

4) Ask them out.

You probably think this is the hardest step, but it might very well be the easiest.

Don’t overthink it, arrange to do something simple. The dating scene in Cork can be regarded as “dry” at the best of times, and most people would jump at the chance to go for a simple coffee date, or a walk around campus. Choose proximate and cheap locations during the daytime, as inviting someone out on their own in

the city during the night can be daunting.

The Glucksman, for example, is a lovely spot on campus that does nice teas and coffees in a picturesque setting.

Or arrange to meet them out.

Maybe they like going for casual pints with their friends, or they really enjoy the Hanover? Maybe they would feel more comfortable if they had their group of friends around, or maybe you’d feel more comfortable if you had yours with you too? Why not arrange to meet up with them somewhere?

5) Patience pt. 2.

If neither of you have made a move by the time you have met up or directly afterwards, you may once again require patience. Everyone deserves to move at their own place, so whether you were shifting all night in the Bróg, or you just had a quiet chat, don’t get too disheartened if they don’t seem as on board as you. Some people take longer to develop feelings, and rushing or pressuring someone you’re into won’t work in your favour in the long run.

6) Repeat steps 3 and 4 until you feel comfortable.

I know you’re wondering, “can I just declare my undying love already?” No, you can’t. It is probably still too soon, you should wait until you’re married or something.

You could get scabies from sleeping in the bed of someone who has it, or through prolonged contact with household members who are infected. You generally don’t contract scabies casual contact like shaking hands, or sitting next to someone who has it, and you cannot contract scabies through inanimate objects e.g toilet seats.

Symptoms: The main symptom of scabies is itching, which usually increases at night time.

Other symptoms include, rashes and bumps, mites and burrows and pimple-like irritations.

Common areas of infestation on the body are: the webs and sides of fingers and toes, pubic and groin area, armpits, bends of elbows and knees, wrists, navel, breasts, lower portion of buttocks, penis and scrotum, waist and abdomen.

Symptoms can appear anywhere between 4-6 weeks after infestation, to 1-4 days.

Diagnosis and Treatment: If you think you have scabies, or if someone you know has scabies, the best way to get diagnosed is to go to the doctor. Treatment normally involves oral medication and topical creams.

The UCC Student Health Department is located at Ardpatrick, College Road and can be contacted by phone at +353 (0)21 4902311.

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GAEILGE

ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

Todhchaí na teangan - i lámha Snapchat?

Aisling Ní Ghealbháin, Scríbhneoir Gaeilge Ní féidir a shéanadh ach go mbuaileann spadhar dream mór daoine nuair a chloistear an focal ‘Gaeilge’ . Dar leo, ainmfhocal is ea í atá baint nach beag aici le nithe diúltacha, ó leithéidí Pheig Sayers bhocht, an Ardteist, go cur amú airgid an cháiníocóra. A mhalairt ar fad atá fíor dom féinig. Chun an fhírinne a admháil, is siombail í an teanga dem’ chuid cuimhní cinn thar na blianta, siombail d’ár dtírghrá, ‘is siombail d’ár n-oidhreacht í. Is mise Róisín Nic Liam agus scoláire Teangacha Domhanda anseo i gColáiste Ollscoile Chorcaí is ea mé. D’fhreastalaíos ar gach gné den oideachais trí mheán na Gaeilge, ó laethanta an naíonra go dtí mo

Domhan na nGaeil

chuid ama is déanaí thall i nGaelcholáiste Choilm. In ainneoin go raibh ardmheas agam ar an teanga ó bhíos sa chliabhán, ní raibh an ‘grá’ ceart agam d’ár dteanga dúchais ach le blianta beaga anuas. Sin a bhuíochas lem’ mhúinteoir Gaeilge Iníon Uí Chonaill le linn aimsir na meánscoile – bean a bhí chomh craiceáilte i ndiaidh na teanga gur roinn sí a paisean ‘is a grá linn i mbealach a bhí beagnach i ngan fhios dúinn. Feictear domsa gur spreag a cuid ranganna sinn - rud a chur tús leis an ngrá ‘míchlúiteach’ atá agam d’ár dteanga. Ba é an craic, an spiorad agus an spraoi le linn na ranganna a mhúscail mo chuid suime chun dul chun na Gaeltachta ag oibriú mar cheannaire. Is beag a cheapas um an dtaca san go mbeadh mo phaisean don teanga fé bhláth ar feadh na mblianta ina dhiaidh, ‘is go mbeadh sraith deiseanna dodhearmadta leis an nGaelainn romham buíochas leis.

An ceann is fearr ná an deis a bhí agam a bheith mar ‘blogger’ Gaelainne ar Snapchat, ag roinnt mo phaisin leis na mílte scoláire meánscoile ar fud na tíre.

Cuireadh tús lem’ aistear ar snapchat an Samhradh a d’imigh seo tharainn. Agus mé díreach tar éis filleadh ó mo tharna bliain ag oibriú i gCorca Dhuibhne, bheartaíos ar ghairm a shocrú dom’ laethanta sa Choláiste. Chuir mé isteach

ar phost i gcoláiste teangacha den scoth dárb ainm ‘Essential French’ – scoil a chuireann ranganna breise don Ghaelainn ‘is don Fhraincis ar fáil do dhaltaí meánscoile. Le linn an agallaimh a bhí agam, bhíos ag tagairt dom’ chuid taithí ó thaobh na teangan. Cúpla scéal ina dhiaidh, bhíos fágtha le cinneadh a dhéanamh an cúntas Snapchat Gaelainne a chur im’ lámha féin. ‘Sé an aidhm atá ag an gcuntas seo ná ábhar úsaideach a chur ar fáil do scoláirí ón gcéad bhliain díreach suas go daltaí Ardteiste. Ach gan amhras, ní hé sin amháin a bhíonn air - teastaíonn uaim an Ghaelainn a mhúineadh dóibh i mbealach spraíúil. I ndeireadh na féide, b’shin é an tslí ar d’fhoghlaimíos féin í.

Idir mo Mham ag rith ar fud na háite ag canadh, ag damhsa ‘is ag caitheamh foéadaí mórthimpeall an tí ‘is í ag iarraidh suime an aosa óig a mhúscailt, agus mo chlann ar fad ag cruthú ruaille buaille, tá an cuma ar an scéal go n-aithnítear Muintir Mhic Liam mar theaghlach craiceáilte timpeall na tire. Níos minice ná a mhalairt cuirtear an Ghaeilge , scrúduithe, agus staidéar le chéile lámh ar lámh. Mar sin, is iontach an rud é an cúntas beomhar seo chun na Gaeilge a fhoghlaim ‘is snas a chur uirthi. Ar aon le san, déanann sé maitheas don theanga í a léiriú mar rud taitn-

eamhach agus idirghníomhach.

Le breis ‘is 40 míle duine ag breathnú ar an dá chuntas snapchat (an ceann Gaelainne agus an ceann Fraincise) gach seachtain, ní nach ionadh gur tharraing cuntas ‘EssentialIrish’ aird na meáin le gairid. (Gan trácht ar aird déagóirí ólta ‘is iad amach ar an rágus sa chathair!). Tuairiscíodh é sa ‘Sunday Business Post’, ‘the Irish Times’ agus san ‘Irish Independent’, rud a chur go mór le spreagadh comhlachta Essential French a leithéid de rud a chur chun cinn.

Chuireas tús le ‘EssentialIrishLite’ le linn na seachtaine, cuntas agus feachtas eile atá dírithe ar na héinne - ó pháistí bunscoile go pinsinéirí - nach bhfuil ach an cúpla focal acu. Ceachtanna bunúsacha agus sultmhara a bheidh ar súil gach ré lá atá i gceist.

Mar fhocail scoir, nuair a chuirtear an cheist orm maidir le todhchaí na teangan, táimse in ann freagra dóchasach a thabhairt dóibh. Chomh fada is go bhfuil an Ghaelainn i mbéal an phobail agus i lámha na meán sóisialta, tá todhchai geal i ndán di. Ní hamháin in Essential French/Irish a chreidtear a leithéid. Is cuid dínn féin í an Ghaeilge - cuid d’ár n-oidhreacht, is cuid d’ár síce í. Tá comharthaí an dóchais le feiceáil má osclaimíd ár súile. Labhraimís le chéile í.

Aoife Nic Gearailt, Eagarthóir Gaeilge

Deirtear go bhfuil peirspectíocht eagsúil ag chuile teanga ar an domhain agus ar an tsochaí ina bhfuilimid inár gcónaí.

Cloistear go bhfuil bhfeiceann na Spánaigh an domhain lán de bhás ach lán d’fhuinneamh freisin, go bhfeiceann na Danmhargach an saol mar eisint simplí, íogair agus na Gaeil.. Bhuel, go bhfeicimid an domhan i tslí neamhgnáthach.

Cruthaíonn na focail agus na cinéal fuaimeanna a dhéanann na focail sin an réadúlacht ina mhairimid. Baineann sainchiall agus forchiall le chuile focal a thagann as ár mbeola - fé muna thugamuid faoi ndeara é! Cruthaíonn an Ghaeilge, agus a friotal, domhan abhairín míreadúil - leiríonn sí domhan foirfe, ársa, bun os cionn. Fiú na mílte bliain níos deanaí, feictear an domhan ceanna mar a deantar cur síos i sna scéalta bealoidis, ar nós na Fianna, Cú Chulainn, Clann Lir agus a leithead.

Ceapaimid go bhfuil an domhan foirfe

10 Focail New Bar seo gan lucht - ní mhothaítear eagla ná brón. Níl ann ach grá, áilleacht, foirfeacht. Níl ann ach focail fholamha.

Cuimhnigh siar chuig ré an Teastas Sóisearigh agus ár scéalta. Fiú más rud é go raibh an gadaí i mbalaclava, ag siúl níos moille ná turtar, le seinteor ag screadaíl ceoil, fós tarlóidh sé, “Go tobann.” Is léir go bhfuil easpa mothucháin agus doimhneacht ag baint leithí.

Ar an taobh eile den scéal, nilim in ann a shéanadh an áilleacht a ghabhann leí.

Fiú le linn mo Theastas Sóisearach, ní rabhas in ann a chrediúnt na fuaimeanna siúcrach, éadroma a d’eascair ó na sreanganna d’fhocail nascaithe le chéile in abairt. Fós go dtí an lá seo, nuair atáim sáite i’m chuid ranganna Gaeilge anseo i UCC, titim i ngrá leí, lá i ndiadh lae. Agus tá siúl agam go leanfaidh mo ghrá di go dtí lá mo bhás.

Where did you come from? - Cár as a tháinig tú?

Add me on snapchat - Chur orm ar snapchat Do ye take card? - An tógann sibh cárta?

Bar - An barra Drunk - Ólta Can I buy you a drink?- An mbeinn in ann deoch a cheannach duit?

Pint - An pionta Shot - Steall/Braon Do ye have any straws? - An bhfuil aon sup ar fáil?

Pub - Teach tabhairne

33

#BoojumCorkLike boojummex.com/cork

New burrito bandito arrives on the scene Terry Pete, Burrito Expert

Boojum, the award winning place that already has stores in Belfast, Dublin and Galway, is set to open in Cork in the next few weeks. Cork will be the first new city for Boojum in 4 years, and their 3rd new store to open in the past 12 months.

Boojum first opened its doors in Belfast in 2007, bringing Mexican food to the masses. Boojum’s popularity quickly soared, with queues famously stretching beyond the door, and the Boojum Addict t-shirt becoming a highly coveted item that belongs only to the most loyal of customers. It’s grown to become Ireland’s best-known Mexican fast casual brand, with seven stores across the island (soon to be 8!).

We caught up with Boojum owners David and Andrew Maxwell, who elaborated on the reasons for their success;

the Boojum model is simple: food is freshly prepared from scratch every morning using authentic Mexican spices, with their chefs mashing avocados for their famous guacamole, preparing spicy salsas and roasting meats to perfection in every Boojum kitchen. They claim to always be fast and convenient, saying that “at Boojum there is no table service. Just walk on up, customise your order and chow down. Our lines move really fast. We promise.”

“The new store, scheduled to open in February, is approximately 2700 sq ft over 2 floors, seating 50 people. We will eventually offer a delivery option alongside the in-store experience,” said Andrew, referring to their Winthrop Street premises, which native Corkonians will remember as Ginos.

“Cork has been on the Boojum radar for some time,” noted David, “we just wanted to wait until we found the perfect location.” The new store will be

located on 7 Winthrop Street and according to Andrew, “will offer a trendy yet comfortable layout keeping in line with our new design guidelines, all of which aim to ensure a great experience for our customers”.

“at Boojum there is no table service. Just walk on up, customise your order and chow down. Our lines move really fast. We promise” The popular brand has almost completed recruitment for their crew. David tells us, “We ran a really successful recruitment drive in the last few months, we loved meeting so many of the Cork locals, what a great bunch of lads.” Boojum is well known for their positive crew; teams of people in every store who bring energy, expertise and passion to their job. This creates a really unique atmosphere for people

to both work and eat in. “Exceptional food and customer service is at the heart of what we do,” said Andrew.

On the back of recent success, Boojum expect to open multiple new stores in Ireland over the next 12 months, but for now David tells us that it’s all about Cork: “We are complete burrito addicts and genuinely love what we do.

We can’t wait to get stuck in and meet our new neighbours. The city is buzzing and we hope we can add something special to Cork”.

“Exceptional food and customer service is at the heart of what we do,” Keep an eye on the Boojum Cork Facebook and twitter accounts for more info on the launch, loads of competitions and ‘craic’ in the run up to the opening.​

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PHOTOS

ISSUE 07 | UCC Express

Photos courtesy of Emmet Curtin Photography

PHOTOS

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ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

Lions Tour Calling for UCC’s Falvey Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

boxing and Australian Rules football.

As part of the medical team during the Lions victorious Australian Tour in 2013, he also served as team doctor to the Irish rugby team from 2009 to 2015 in a run which saw three Six Nations Championships, as well as the 2011 and 2015 Rugby World Cup campaigns, and doctor for Munster Rugby for four years from 2003 to 2007, which included the Red Men’s maiden Heineken Cup win in 2006.

UCC Medicine alumni and Senior Lecturer in Sports & Exercise Medicine Éanna Falvey has been announced as Head of Medical Staff for the British & Irish Lions 2017 Tour of New Zealand.

The British & Irish Lions announced the appointment last Wednesday as part of three major additions to Warren Gatland’s backroom team.

As well as Dr Falvey, Warren Gatland also captured the signatures of Rhodri Bown as Head Analyst, and Paul Stridgeon as Head of Strength & Conditioning for the upcoming 10-match tour.

Wales and Lions head coach Warren Gatland was very content with additions to his backroom team commenting that “Rhodri (Bown), Paul (Stridgeon) and Éanna (Falvey) have a lot of Lions experience, including being part of a winning team in 2013 and they know what is required for us to be successful in

New Zealand. They will bring a wealth of knowledge and skill to their roles and I know they will fit well into the environment we are trying to create.”

Éanna Falvey who is already Director of Sports Medicine at the Sports Surgery Clinic UCC, Dublin and Senior Lecturer in Sports & Exercise Medicine, UCC. Away from rugby, Dr Falvey also has This is a major step in the career of Dr experience working in rugby, football,

Dr Falvey also served as the Irish Amateur Boxing Association high performance unit physician from 2009 to 2015 during a period of huge international success for Irish boxing, continuing his own person successes at the sport which included a National Amateur Heavyweight and Super Heavyweight boxing championship titles, while also representing Ireland at the 2001 AIBA World Senior Boxing Championships.

Dr Falvey also serves as a member of the World Rugby Concussion working group.

Intervarsity Focus for Former City Star Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

the semi-finals of the Donie Forde this weekend, the week after we are away to Rockmount in the league and then home to Corinthians. All big games. We have the quarterfinals of the Intervarsity league.

We’re losing a few lads to the Harding too.

There’s a lot of things happening over the next six to eight weeks for us.” A break then comes before the biggest stage of all for the Leesiders: “By winning our Farquhar Cup we’re seeded this year and it’s very important. We’ve to only play three games over the week. We got a reasonable draw with Trinity and we’re on the good side of the tournament.”

With an eye on the league, and another on the cup, the former Cork City star has been bolstered by a number of returning players, “We have Sean O’Mahoney and Sean Mcloughlin coming back, and goalkeeper Kevin O’Brien, formerly of Cork City as well. They’re bringing a lot of experiences to the team. The ideal thing to do is to get over your first game with a comfortable win so you can empty the bench.”

After a mixed few weeks for UCC, soccer focus returns now to the Intervarsity season for the college. Following the historic treble-winning 2015 season, and a lacklustre 2016, pressure is on in Cork’s historic institution to deliver. It is a few weeks which will define a team and their playing careers. For former Cork City FC star turned UCC manager Noel Healy it is all about preparation heading into this year’s competition.

“We look at the Collingwood season; it’s a two half season. The lead up into Christmas, with our own CUFL League, Munster Senior League and FAI Intermediate Cup; and we’ve had a mixed season pre-Christmas” he opened, but the UCC manager was quick to add an air of optimism, “We topped our group in the College University League but we also went out to Ballincollig in the FAI Intermediate Cup and we had a poor start to the Munster Senior League and losing players through injuries and suspension. Still we had some good results pre-Christmas to bring us back in” Stepping away from the tournament, Healy blessed his whole squad and to savour the Focus is firmly on the next eight weeks coming weeks, “I keep on saying this with for the College, with a barrage of fixtures new players coming in: people get a short coming thick and fast, something Noel amount of time to wear the UCC jersey, knows all about: “The next eight weeks and in that period there are three major are going to be interesting. There’s lots competitions. You start to understand what of other competitions for UCC. We had the Crowley the Harding and the Colling-

wood mean to University players between various reunions with players coming back and how hard a tournament it is. It is a bragging right in college. I know all the lads in college who won it and not the lads who lost it. I’ve friends of mine to this day who still go on about winning the Collingwood. They won very little in football but the Collingwood is the most important to them.”

Across the last five years the Collingwood has produced a number of future League of Ireland stars. Cork City FC’s Michael McSweeney and Josh O’Shea all sparked to life in the competition, as well as the managerial career of Cork City’s FAI Cup winning manager John Caulfield. These developments were something Healy was quick to praise, as well as UCC’s role in developing future talent.

“With every player that comes in you have three or four with the potential to play League of Ireland. The beauty of UCC and the Mardyke is that the facilities are there and are second to none. When we get a guy in; I’m going to make reference to Josh O’Shea. He came in at 9 stone. Small guy but quick. When he left he was 11 and a half stone. That was all down to strength and conditioning. That gives him an advantage over other Munster Senior League clubs. The advantage the Mardyke gives

the first couple of steps and they are crucial inside in UCC because they lay a platform for you and a standard. We have three or four guys’ way above Munster Senior League standard and if they stay with us they will definitely be going into League of Ireland” The conveyer belt of talent has seen success propelled across Leeside in recent years. From Cork City FC’s European exploits to Sean Maguire’s 120th minute winner at the Aviva Stadium. even to Ballincollig AFC’s underage successes nationally in 2016. Healy finished on the feel good atmosphere currently in Cork soccer.

“Well… when you had Cork City doing well it had a ripple effect down into Munster Senior League and other leagues because there is a general interest. If you look at children in the park playing; when Wimbledon is on they play tennis and when the hurlers and footballers are doing well they are playing hurling and football. Cork soccer had had a huge knock on effect down through the leagues.

But Cork soccer; it has always been strong.

You talk to any Dublin team that has had to come to Cork they have found it very difficult to take on Avondale, Corinthians, and Rockmount down through the years. It has always been historically strong.”

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ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

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Aussie Rules Fever Hits Leeside

Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor European and Australian sport mixes at UCC next weekend as the college gears up to host the 2017 Fitzpatrick Cup. The one day tournament, organised by the Australian Football League Europe, will bring together some of Europe’s top colleges for the one day tournament at The Farm sports grounds in Curraheen.

On the day UCC will be joined with fellow Irish university Maynooth, along with British institutions Oxford, Birmingham, Cambridge, as well as a selected Irish Universities Team. Women’s teams also include Maynooth and Oxford, along with UCC at the one day Football Club laid down the gauntlet to their players, commenting that “it’s our tournament. flagship event. We have other tournaIt is a tournament where UCC have so- ments throughout the college year, but lidified their name as one of Europe’s The Fitzpatrick Cup is the main one. To top AFL clubs, ever since the inception pull on the college colours and test yourof the competition in 2013. In the com- self against the best the UK have to ofpetition’s four year history UCC have fer, it’s a great opportunity. Also, having enjoyed a variety of success, including travelled the last 3 years, having home taking home the Fitzpatrick Cup in 2013, advantage this year is huge. Hopefully it as well as narrow losses in the 2014 and gives us the extra percent or two needed 2015 finals. Despite this, UCC have pro- to get over the line.” gressed in 2016/17, and won their first Rebel Shield in a campaign which saw All over UCC campus the staff and stuthe college defeating the current ARFLI dents are counting down to the tournaPremiership winners, the Leeside Lions, ment. UCC Clubs Executive President Michael Hanrahan could not contain on their way to lifting the cup.

UCC have been drawn in Group A where his excitement ahead of the tournament, they will be taking on Cambridge Uni- “We’re very excited about the upcomversity’s first team, as well as Oxford ing Fitzpatrick Cup. The UCC Bombers University’s second team and the Irish have grown substantially as club and have had an incredible year so far having University selection. won the Rebel Shield. I think the home It is a tournament which will display a advantage will definitely work in our fanumber of emerging talent on the Irish vour especially since UCC was runner Australian Rules scene, including Irish up in the last two Fitzpatrick Cups. The internationals Peter Traynor, Rory committee have been working hard to O’Donnell, Paul Murphy, Matt Bell, organise and promote the event and I’d Oisín Collins and Ronan Sheehan, who like to congratulate them on putting it tohave all played for UCC over the last gether and wish them the best of luck in twelve months. Upcoming talent on dis- the tournament.” play locally includes Shane O’Sullivan, James Galvin, and Conor Beasley, who All Fitzpatrick Cup games will take have all been impressive throughout place in UCC’s sports grounds in Curraheen, commonly referred to as ‘The UCC’s maiden Rebel Shield victory.

Ahead of the events UCC Australian Farm’, on the 4th of February.

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ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

When will be our year?

Derby day victory for UCC Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

Nicholas Horn, Sports Writer ‘My feeling is that we can win everything...’, Liverpool FC manager Jürgen Klopp said on the 4th of December directly before being unluckily beaten by AFC Bournemouth. The first ever Liverpool loss to Bournemouth meant a four point deficit to then and still leading FC Chelsea. After the draw against rivals Manchester United and the bitter defeat to Swansea City, Klopp’s team sit at the fourth spot, ten points behind Chelsea. As the season is entering the decisive period, it is becoming clear that they won’t be able to win everything, at least not the Premier League.

Offensively there are nearly no limits To do so, a team needs good scoring.

The last five PL champions averaged 84.4 goals over the season, and only last year’s champion Leicester City scored less than 70. Liverpool had this offensive power in Klopp´s first full season. If the Merseyside team sustains its offensive outcome of the first 22 games, they would score more than 88 goals – nobody scored more goals than Liverpool so far. Sadio Mane, Roberto Firmino and Philippe Coutinho are a threat to every defence, and Daniel Sturridge, if healthy, might still be the best English striker.

A damaging weapon are set pieces, with 16 goals coming out of such situations, an unrivaled record by any team in the Premier League. James Milner converted the six penalties he has taken this season, and success has also come from corners, an attacking tactic that had lost its importance for many high-end teams. To make things comparable, Manchester City, the team of ‘corner hater’ Pep Guardiola (obviously Guardiola has different players, and he has proven that his tactic not to pay too much attention to corners might make sense), have scored two goals out of corners. Liverpool scored six, only beaten by West Bromwich Albion, who are scoring almost exclusively from the corner.

Typical Klopp at the Kop The way Jürgen Klopp’s team plays since his appointment as coach over a year ago should not surprise anybody who followed Klopp during his seven year campaign with Borussia Dortmund. With an astonishing pace, Liverpool is overrunning many of its opponents. The available players fit perfectly into Klopp´s system, there-

Ashbourne Cup: CIT 3-15 to 0-12 On a cold and dreary night at CIT Sports Complex, UCC braved the weather to enjoy an impressive 12 point win over their crosstown rivals.

fore the Reds are able to play the German manager’s favourite style of soccer – the counter-press.

Like Guardiola did since his early days in Barcelona, Klopp wants his players to regain the ball just four seconds after they lost it. Unlike the Manchester City manager, however, he likes to do so out of counter-attacks. While Guardiola wants to control the game with many short passes, Klopp sees a chance in winning and in losing the ball. With this high-pace strategy Liverpool created more chances (307) than any other team in the Premier League. Only Tottenham Hotspur, a team with an immense offensive potential, are coming even close with 290 created chances.

Controlling the game can still be a problem This counter-attack strategy is most suitable against the best teams in the Premier League. Against these teams Liverpool has an impressive stat-line with Klopp. In seven games against the top 6 opposition, LFC has not lost once. The best Premier League teams are trying to control the game, which gives Klopp the opportunity to play his counter-pressing football. Problems begin as soon as Liverpool has to control the game – at least sometimes.

Against the bottom teams Liverpool has to find ways to score in the face of a huge defence. In these cases they mostly chose the same tactic. The most important role during the build-up takes team captain Jordan Henderson, who drops himself between the two centre-backs, while the wing-backs take a more offensive role to create a majority in numbers on the sidelines.

But, again and again the Reds are struggling to create big time chances

for themselves during several periods of the game. An indicator of this inability to create suitable chances, is the imperceptible number of Henderson passes, namely 1824 – Paul Pogba holds the second spot with more than 300 passes less! As shown, Henderson takes the most defensive role of all Liverpool midfielders, so this high number is an indicator for the long time of possession which LFC tries to find ways through the opponents’ defence - and fails.

Control the second ball A picture-perfect example is the latest 2-3 loss to Swansea City. At halftime (0-0) the Reds had more than 70 percent ball possession, but the biggest chance was registered by the Welsh team with a shot against the post. Seven minutes after the opening whistle of the second half, Swansea was leading 2-0 at Anfield. The good news for Liverpool fans, as indicated, is that usually Jürgen Klopp’s team finds ways into the penalty area at some point of the game, it just takes them a while to deal with the sometimes old-fashioned and specific strategies of the Premier League. One of these is as simple as (sometimes) dangerous – the long ball. Most English teams are using this ‘weapon’, while not many do so in Germany or Spain.

Asked about the biggest adjustment to the Premier League, Pep Guardiola answered only a few days ago: ‘You have to control the second ball’. The same counts for Liverpool. The first 20 minutes of the Christmas match, Stoke City was hurting the Reds with simple long balls that found former-Liverpool lanky stalwart Peter Crouch, who retained the ball. The crux about this strategy: Klopp´s and Guardiola´s pressing tactic is no lon-

In the 60 minutes UCC never looked like settling back, but from the opening minute pressed and attacked the UCC defence. Across the park UCC outclassed their rivals through an excellent defensive performance and attack prowess. The back line of Libby Coppinger and Pamela Mackey were instrumental in keeping the CIT attack mute through the second half. In the heart of the midfield Hannah Looney combined with Orla O’Connor and Katrina Mackey to outwit the CIT defence and put some excellent scores passed the goalline.

Orla Cronin impressed throughout the second half where the Cork star bagged herself a goal after being played through

by Katrina Mackey.

Despite a late CIT resurgence, UCC ran out the dominant 12 point winners. Attention now turns to DCU for the College in a bid to reach the 2017 semi-finals, and a chance at avenging their 2016 title loss.

UCC: K Fox (Tipperary); S McNamara (Limerick), L Coppinger (Cork), R Phelan (Kilkenny); J Hosford (Cork) P Mackey (Cork), Y Murphy (Cork); H Looney (Cork), E Murphy (Cork); A Malone (Clare), O Cronin (Cork) N McCarthy (Cork); A O’Connor (Cork), K McCarthy (Cork), K Mackey (Cork).

Subs: M Cahalane for E Murphy (half-time), L O’Dwyer (Tipperary) for J Hosford, M McCarthy for N McCarthy (both 40), H Ryan for K McCarthy (42), I Heffernan (Waterford) for S McNamara (52).

CORK IT: (Cork except where stated): A Lee (Cork); A Walsh (Cork), G Sheehy (Cork), A Crowley (Cork), L Lynch (Cork), E Sharpe (Cork), S Murphy (Cork); J O’Shea (Cork), L Bolger (Wexford); K Hickey (Cork), J Cronin (Cork), R O’Shea (Cork); J Leo (Cork), E Looney (Cork), M Murphy (Cork).

Subs: R Hurley (Cork) for J Cronin (43), K Coughlan (Cork) for J Leo, K Lane (Cork) for E Looney (57).

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ISSUE 08 | UCC Express

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It’s in the water- Camogie on Leeside Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

Last week UCC beat bitter rivals CIT 3-15 to 0-12 to reach the quarterfinals of the 2017 Ashbourne Cup. In a squad bursting with talent, UCC now stand three games from avenging last year’s final loss to UL. While the great chapters of Cork hurling and football intervarsity sports are often watered down due to the selection, a possible Ashbourne Cup victory in 2017 would be instrumental in GAA on Leeside.

Leaving the Quad and going across the county, Cork’s Camogie set up had enjoyed a period of unparallelled success over the past ten years. Between 2007 and 2017 Cork’s senior camogie team has won four All Ireland titles, while losing three other finals. Throughout the period Cork have enjoyed much

success on the All Ireland stage, winning three intermediate titles and three national league titles. In the club scene, Milford have been exemplary in their rise to the top, winning three All Ireland Club titles from 2013-2016. On the Third Level scene UCC has also lost four Ashbourne Cup finals, most recently in 2016 when The College were narrowly pipped by a mere two points by UL for the title, despite scoring 4-7 in the final.

What remains is the hotbed of talent in the Rebel County. A consistent springboard for talented camogie players capable of winning and competition in finals has seen Cork as the leading county in women’s camogie consistently since the inception of the competition in 1932. Throughout the annals of sporting history, some of the dominating names

in Irish camogie have all heralded from Leeside; Anna Geary has become face of modern camogie through her All Ireland victories at Milltown and Cork, while UCC has consistently worked and developed young players’ potential; such efforts can be seen today with Orla Cronin, who divides her time between Cork and College.

One can only look at a number of reasons and factors as to this conveyer belt of talent in Cork. All Irelands have been consistent and numerous. While Dublin have been left reeling for camogie success since 1984; Cork has not endured a barren spell since 1940-1971. Old proverbs have been used and applied to the state of camogie on Leeside, such as, “success breeds success” and teams “have the experience of winning.” On saying this, one could also mention the

hunger; the want and will to keep going, and to keep winning titles. The difference between great teams and legends.

Other, more pessimistic, takes at the success can be a national look at the game; are the other counties lagging, or is there a wider reasoning to the imbalance of successes in camogie? Equally, one could say this for Kilkenny and their hurling successes from 20062016, including their drive for seven consecutive Leinster titles.

Some days, maybe the stick and sliotar need to be dropped and a drink is needed. It could be something in the water of the Lee. All that has been accomplished, and all that remains are a legacy and appetite for success. Looking into history is easy; walking on is the hard part.

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 08 | Tuesday January 31st

UCC’s Alan Cadogan, pictured here in action against Clare, helped the College dominate UUJ

Cadogan treble sinks UUJ in Fitzgibbon opener Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor UCC 5-13 2-4 UUJ Fitzgibbon Cup Group D UCC opened their 2017 Fitzgibbon Cup campaign in emphatic style at the Mardyke grounds last Tuesday following a commanding 5-13 to 2-4 victory over Ulster University Jordanstown. In what was a dominating performance, the College lead throughout the sixty minutes in a game which saw UCC propelled to top of the group.

In the early moments UUJ pressed UCC well and were well deserved. Nicky McKeague gave UUJ an early lead from a set piece, but this lead was short lived as Rob O’Shea broke out and levelled the score just after the two minute mark.

UCC pushed on from this early setback,

and soon found themselves with a comfortable 3-6 to 1-3 half time lead. An Jackson McGreevy foul on Rob O’Shea saw the Carrigaline man score once again from a set-piece. Despite the forward scoring 1-7 it was Douglas’s Alan Cadogan who stole the show in the first half, with the wing forward netting himself a 1-1 in a dogmatic display. James O’Flynn also got himself on the scorecards thanks to a mistake in the UUJ defence, with the slitor passed to an unmarked O’Flynn, finding himself in an acre of space as he flung the ball well into the back of the net.

UUJ, despite the dominating scoreline, were not without their chances. McKeague grabbed UUJ a real lifeline thanks to a mistake at the heart of the UCC back line. A long ball in from Kevin Rice hit the crossbar, only to fall to McKeague,

who drove the slitor hard into the back of Dylan Desmond’s goal.

In the second half it was show of the quality and persistence of the UCC team.

Two more goals in quick succession for Alan Cadogan helped crush any calls for a fight back from the UUJ set-up. UUJ, however, stole the show late in the game thanks to a fine point hammered from range by Liam Dunphy, which showed the Offaly under 21 Star’s potential.

In the end; UCC proved too much for a drilled and spirited UUJ. Full time score at the Mardyke was 5-13 to 2-4, a win which gave a much boost to Tom Kingston and his management team. Focus on returns to next Thursday’s crucial tie away to UCD, a win in which would qualify UCC for the quarter finals, and set the college on course to top their group.

Teams: UCC – D Desmond; I Kenny, C Spillane, S Roche; S Kennedy, C Gleeson, R Cahalane; C O’Leary, M Breen; J Power, T Devine, G O’Brien; A Cadogan, J O’Flynn, R O’Shea. Subs: A Spillane for Power (50), M O’Connor for Cahalane, M O’Halloran for Cadogan (both 54), N Motherway (Dungourney) for O’Shea, E Gunning for Kenny (both 58).

ULSTER UNIVERSITY – S Doherty; A Orchin, G Walsh, T Ó Ciarán; R Brannigan, J McGreevey, D O’Hara; J McNaughton, M Dudley; L Dunphy, K Rice, J O’Dwyer; A Dooley, N McKeague, J Connolly. Subs: J O’Connell for O’Dwyer (46), D McGuinness for Dunphy (49), T Burns for Orchin (51), P Butler for McKeague, R Gillen for McNaughton (both 58).

Ref – G Quilty (Kilkenny)