UCC Express Vol. 20 Issue 10

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 10 | Tuesday February 28th

Irish Unity Survey Results Page 3 - News

It could be you! Jubilation last year as Ian Hutchinson was elected as Education Officer. (Photo: Emmet Curtin)

Welfare and Comms Candidates Unopposed in SU Elections Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

For the second year running, there is only one candidate for the position of Welfare Officer in the UCC Students’ Union elections. Welfare will be joined by Comms and Ents in being unopposed this year.

These positions, along with SU President, Deputy President & Campaigns Officer and Education Officer make up the paid ‘Sabbatical’ positions on the Students’ Union.

candidates have been running for the Students’ Union. Overall, there are seven uncontested positions out of a total twelve.

The other unopposed positions are Equality Officer, Oifigeach Gaeilge, College Rep for Science, Engineering & Food Science and the College Rep for Business & Law.

Campaigns Officer, including Connolly Youth Society Chair Mervyn Galvin, Ógra Fianna Fáil Chair Daire O’Herlihy and UCC Student Council Chair Seán ‘Poodles’ Ó Riabhaigh. Disability Activism & Awareness Society Chair and current Student Council Secretary Mike O’Keeffe is unopposed in his campaign for the Welfare Officer position, despite a Facebook page popping up for another candidate. Barry O’Shea is unopposed in his run for Comms, as is Ben Dunlea in his candidacy for Ents Officer.

There are three candidates for the top job in the Students’ Union, with current Medicine & Health College Rep Art Kelleher, Commerce Society Auditor Martin Scally and 2nd Year Politics student Katie This continues the trend from the last O’Neill. Equally, there are three candifew years, where seemingly less and less dates for the role of Deputy President & Story Continues on Page 3...

Ireland’s New Sex Work Laws

Page 12 - Features

Interview: Tara Flynn

Byline Magazine

NEWS INSIDE TODAY: 2

NEWS

FROM THE EDITOR

04 SCS R&G Week Report 05 5th Annual Relay for Life

FEATURES

08 Sonic Brainwave 10 Generation Snowflake?

SEXPRESS

31 Sexting & Nudes Advice

BYLINE

24 Ethical Fashion 29 Pancake Recipes

SPORT

38 Cricket Ireland Update 39 Heartbreak for UCC GAA

EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-Chief - Robert O’Sullivan News Editor - Chris McCahill Deputy News Editor - Ciaran O’Halloran Graphic Designer - Beth Alexander Features Editor - Mary Collins Deputy Features Editor - Ciara Dinneen Photographer - Emmet Curtin Sports Editor - Dylan O Connell Deputy Sports Editor - Darragh Walsh Eagarthóir Gaeilge - Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive - Sarah Dunphy Online Editor - Evan Smith Byline Editor - Lauren Mulvihill Byline Associate Editor - Sarah Ryan Fiction Editor - Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Music Editor - Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor - Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor - Iris Maher Food Editor - Xander Cosgrave Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston Niamh O’Reilly Méabh McMahon

Power to the People Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

Democracy in action! It’s that time of year for students to get out, go to the polls in the Boole Basement, ORB, Kane and Brookfield and, for the most part, not vote. For a college

of approximately 22,000 students, turnout at SU elections rarely rises above the 3,500 mark. And with several key positions being unopposed, I don’t really see this improving any time soon.

Indeed, when we held a poll about the Irish Unity referendum (which you can read about later in this issue) several people did not know the elections were happening anytime soon, never mind the Irish Unity referendum. So is the lack of engagement with the SU a fault of poor advertising or generally apathy with student politics amongst students themselves?

Regardless of your opinion on the SU, now is the time to make yourself heard, to poke your head out the window and yell “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” While it’s too late

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

to run (unless someone is RON’d), you can still go to hustings and ask questions, talk to candidates on the election days and use your vote.

Don’t agree with someone’s manifesto? Vote for someone else. Don’t like that someone’s unopposed for an important paid position? Vote for RON (re-open nomination). Still not happy with the SU? Become a class rep and hold them to account at Student Council. If you don’t like what’s happening in student politics, there’s no point posting hilarious memes on YikYak, get up and get involved. As the old phrase goes, ní neart go cur le chéile. Power to the people.

Robert O’Sullivan

FROM THE NEWS EDITOR

A right to an Opinion is not an entitlement to it.

Chris McCahill- News Editor It may sound like a contradiction but actually it is an important distinction that maybe we need to be more aware of in today’s world. When you form an opinion, or change an existing one you held, it is because you will have been exposed to new information which alters your view as it reasonable, logical and rationale. In short, every opinion is held because it remains consistent with the evidence from the real world. Thus no one can or should, I believe, be entitled to an opinion because in reality what

that would be is a right to retain your opinion when it is shown or proven to be wrong, which by extension is a rejection of logic, reason, compelling argument a simple evidence. People who deny global warming or climate change are an excellent example: if one was to be entitled to an opinion it would actually restrict others from improving on an opinion and you would be restricting yourself from hearing new information, new evidence, new ideas and opinions.

thought they were. You can of course have your opinions, no one can take that away from you, but it does not mean you are entitled to have that opinion go unchallenged if or when expressed nor can you expect to be weighted equally as other opinions simply because you hold it or feel “entitled” to it, even though you are not.

In a debate or a discussion no one would or should say “well I am entitled to my opinion” when they are defending the truth against a falsehood. It’s only really used as a “Get out of Jail” card when someone has lost an argument but is still refusing to change their mind or opinion, or consider the fact they may not be a s informed on a topic as they

“The strength of one’s opinion should not exceed their knowledge on the matter.”

I’ll leave you with this quote from Eric Hirzel:

Chris McCahill

Correction: In Issue 9, we attributed an article entitled "An Ghaeilge - Ógbhean i dTrioblóid nó Nuatheanga Rafaire?" to Aisling Ní Ghealbháin. It should have been credited to Aoife Nic Gearailt. Apologies

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Story Continued from the Front Page...

Current Postgraduate Officer Chris McCahill will have his hands full with Tadhg Casey, as they both hope to succeed Ian Hutchinson as Education Officer.

Current LGBTQ Rights Officer Niamh O’Reilly is unopposed in their race for the Equality Officer job, while Faye Murphy is running for the Oifigeach Gaeilge position while away on Erasmus. Current Business & Law Rep Kayleigh O’Sullivan is re-running for her job, while engineering student Ronan Carey will be running for SEFS Rep unopposed. Niamh Hogan and Laura Mitchell will con-

test the Med & Health Rep election, and Elle Kelleher, Shane Kenneally and Amy Poland will be fighting it out to be named the next CACSSS (Arts) Rep.

The elections will take place on March 6th & 7th, and will be accompanied by a referendum on the SU’s position on Irish Unity. Students will also have the option to Re-Open Nominations (RON) in all elections. If a RON vote is successful, then nominations will re-open to the student body, and more people will be able to have their name on the ballots.

The officers mentioned above, along with the Council Chair, Postgraduate Of-

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ficer, Clubs Rep and Societies Rep make up the Students’ Union Executive.

“The elections will take place on March 6th & 7th, and will be accompanied by a referendum on the SU’s position on Irish Unity. ” For more information on the elections, you can contact the Students’ Union President Eolann Sheehan on 086 855 4031. For up-to-date coverage on the elections, follow us on social media, @ UCCExpress.

#UCCVotes Survey - Irish Unity Referendum Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief On March 6th & 7th UCC Students’ Union, in response to a student petition signed by around 1000 UCC students, will hold a referendum to decide their position on Irish Unity. The question put to students will be to decide the Students’ Union’s position on a United Ireland. The referendum is supported by several political societies on campus, and while no ‘No campaign’ has been announced at the time of writing, there has been some small opposition to the Referendum among students on campus. The Students’ Union it- the Students’ Union elections, which are self, it is believed, will maintain a neutral due to be held on the same day as the refstance on this referendum, as it has in past erendum vote. referendums on similar subjects.

We also asked whether students agreed On February 21st we asked students their with external groups, like Sinn Féin, Fiopinions on the Irish Unity referendum. anna Fáil and the DUP, should be allowed We excluded any responses from people to campaign on campus during the referwho said they were not students, and lim- endum: 27 people said yes (they should be ited the number of responses to 100. The allowed), 20 said no, 49 people said yes first question we asked was ‘Do you think but only if the members of these groups the Students' Union should be campaign- are also current students, and 4 people said ing on the question of Irish Unity?’ and alumni of the University who are memthe result was almost evenly split, with 51 bers of such groups should be allowed to out of 100 saying they believed the Stu- campaign on campus. Alumni of the Unidents’ Union should not campaign on Irish versity have been allowed to campaign on Unity. campus during referendum campaigns before, during the USI and Marriage Equal“The result was almost evenity campus referendums in 2015. One respondent specifically disagreed with the ly split, with 51 out of 100 mention of the Democratic Unionist Party saying they believed the (DUP) in the question, or as they put it: Students’ Union should not “the DUP should not be allowed canvass campaign on Irish Unity. ” on campus even if they have members in the college as they aren't organised under Of the 100 asked, 88 said they would be the [Societies] guild.” voting in the referendum on March 6th & 7th, with 53% of those people stating We asked the respondents that, if there they would be voting in favour of the SU were an actual referendum (i.e. not an SU campaigning on Irish Unity. Of the people one) on Irish Unity, would they vote for who said they wouldn’t vote in the refer- it. 59% said they would vote in favour endum, 85% said they would be voting in of Irish Unity, 27% said they would not

NEWS

vote in favour of Irish Unity, with the rest (14%) saying they didn’t know how they would vote. The final question of the survey asked UCC students if they believe that citizens of the Republic of Ireland should have a say in Irish Unity: 84% said that they should, while 16% of respondents said that they shouldn’t. This question prompted the most comments, with many stating, in various different terms, that the Republic should only vote on Irish Unity following a vote in the North.

Other general comments included: someone proposing a ‘Celtic Union’ between the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland and Scotland, people expressing surprise that the SU was concerning themselves with such a subject and people who believed that both Students’ Unions in the south and the Irish government have “better things to do” than debate Irish Unity.

There was two comments that contained the phrase “Up the Ra” and another that contained a similar sentiment, except it espoused a Unionist position.

The Referendum is due to take place on March 6th & 7th, in conjunction with the UCC Students’ Union elections. For upto-date coverage & results, follow the UCC Express on social media platforms, on @UCCExpress.

Around the Universities: TCD: A Trinity College Dublin event involving the Israeli ambassador was cancelled after protests.

Mr Boker was due to speak at a talk organised by the Society for International Affairs (Sofia), but the event was disrupted by a group of about 40 protesters from Students for Justice in Palestine (TCD) who demonstrated and chanted slogans outside the arts block venue where the event was due to take place.

Sofia Chair Grace Conway said she was “deeply saddened” that it had to be cancelled.

UCD: UCD Raising and Giving Week, held during the second week of term this semester, has raised over €18,000 for the suicide prevention charity Pieta House.

Campaigns and Communications officer Luke Fitzpatrick said “I feel that RAG Week went down an absolute storm. I can’t reiterate enough the amount of work our staff did to help us in this event.

David Burns our Research and Communications Coordinator for help with fundraising, Paul Kilgallon organising and planning all the events and Ger Byrne for designing everything.”

NUIG: NUI Galway says it is the first Irish university to join the EU’s Phablabs 4.0 project, which aims to offer photonics workshops to get kids interested in STEM. The Phablabs 4.0 project was created under the EU’s Horizon 2020 funding programme as a way to introduce kids, teenagers and young adults to the exciting field of photonics, in the hope that it might lead to future careers in science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM). As a field of research, photonics has enormous potential for societal changes, from food safety to autonomous vehicles, and data transmission in between.

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NEWS

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

SCS Report From UCC Raise and Give Week

UCC Law Soc to Host Women in Law Forum Michelle Beazley, News Writer In an event that will be the first of its kind in Ireland, female forerunners in the field of law will be brought together to encourage female students to pursue legal careers. The forum, coordinated by UCC Law Society, will be held in Hayfield Manor on March 10, and will discuss issues relevant to the pursuit of both traditional and less conventional legal careers.

The inaugural event was organised in response to the very real hesitations highlighted by female students aspiring to undertake careers in law. UCC Law Society is committed to illustrating that gender is not an obstacle to a career in the legal sector.

“This Forum, featuring women who currently occupy significant roles in Irish public and corporate life, is a welcome initiative from the UCC student Law Society,” said morning session conference chair, Professor Irene Lynch Fannon. “I can only think of how different the experience of women law students and lawyers was in the late 70s and 80s when I was in UCD. I hope we can all continue to advocate for an ever more open and inclusive experience of the law and legal institutions in Ireland.”

The forum will exhibit a variety of female speakers who are leaders in their branch of the legal sector. The morning session will feature women such as the first female Chief Justice of Canada, an Irish Supreme Court Justice and the first female Director of Public Prosecutions in Ireland. The afternoon session will be chaired by Dr. Louise Crowley and will feature, amongst others, an Irish Senator, a T.D., and the European Ombudsman.

Any proceeds raised by the forum will be donated to Cork charities Dress4Success and Edel House. Limited spaces are available and those wishing to attend the forum should email womeninlawforumregistration@ucclawsociety.com immediately.

Chris McCahill, News Editor The UCCSU Student Community Support Group was once again out on the streets aiding students during Raise and Give Week in UCC. This year the group expanded its engagement with students through a number of measures. Firstly, they added two additional routes to their patrol, allowing them to aid and engage with more students than in previous years. Secondly, for the first time ever, they took advantage of satellite walkie talkies to keep in contact with one another to increase their effectiveness, and thirdly the St. John’s ambulance service was available to aid students for every night of Raise and Give Week. Almost 30 additional SCS members were deployed during Raise and Give week to aid students and to help mitigate problems.

The SCS were also briefed by the Gardaí prior to Raise and Give week as part of their preparations.

The SCS reported an overall decrease in the number of alcohol related incidents, with the SCS providing students with gluten free bread to help them to sober up. The SCS did highlight that there was a significant increase in the number of drug related incidents

throughout the week. To help combat this the SCS and the Students Union ran a drug awareness campaign on social media, and also put up flyers and posters in Bars, nightclubs and in bathrooms aimed at drug harm prevention.

Furthermore, on the Tuesday of RAG week the UCCSU, after reports from both the SCS and students, sent out a drug warning to all students after a number of incidents occurred where students were consuming dangerous drugs that had been mixed or laced with other substances.

policing this year, with a number of arrests and fines being meted out to students who were in breach of the rules.

The Gardaí also operated a zero-tolerance policy with regard to larger house parties, with Monday and Wednesday being the busiest nights of the week. It was also reported that there was a considerable number of non-UCC students out during RAG week.

The SCS did note several positives from the week however, in particular a 58% decrease in the number of complaints made to the SCS, but this does not include complaints made to the University or to others, however.

They also noted the huge benefit of the St. John’s ambulance, which took some of the burden off of the national ambulance service by transporting students to the Mercy hospital and by dealing with more minor injuries and incidents themselves. Above all, however the SCS was pleased with the increased awareness from students of the SCS and their willingness to cooperate with them.

The SCS noted a significant increase in the amount of engagement with students, noting that some, but not all, were more willing to engage and cooperate with the SCS and emergency services. The SCS team handed out over 350 pairs of pink slippers and over 100 condoms, an indication there was a greater degree of awareness among students as to who the SCS were and the services they were providing to students. The SCS also reported collecting over 45 bags of rubbish each night to help minimise disruption to local residents.

For any queries or for students who may wish to get involved in the SCS in There were other issues however, such future may contact the UCCSU Deputy as the Gardaí being much stricter in President on Kate@uccsu.ie

NEWS

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

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UCC Cancer Society to host 5th Annual Relay For Life Chris McCahill, News Editor

Between Friday and Saturday, the 3rd and 4th of March, UCC Cancer Society will host its annual Relay for life event.

The event will run for 24 hours from 6pm on Friday to 6pm on Saturday.

This will be the 5th annual Relay For Life hosted by the Society, and will take place at the Mardyke Track in UCC. The event will bring together staff, students and alumni, along with the wider local community. The event itself is not an athletic event, and is described as being “more like a festival” according to Karen O’ Sullivan, a member of UCC Cancer Society, who is involved in organising the event, highlighting that there will be plenty of other events, games, music and stalls set up to provide the festival atmosphere. Karen also sought to stress that the Relay For Life is different from other events, as they make use of sponsorship to fund the event so that all money raised will go to charity.

“the Relay For Life is different from other events, as they make use of sponsorship to fund the event so that all money raised will go to charity.”

Relay For Life teams can be made up of any number of people, but usually have between 7 -15 members. There is no set limit, though organisers want teams to ensure that there is at least one member of each team on the track at all times, to symbolise that cancer never sleeps.

The teams can be made up of family, friends, classmates, co-workers or club members, and is open to people of all ages. The 24 hours is broken up into 3 main elements: Celebrate, Remember and Fight Back.

“ The 24 hours is broken up into 3 main elements: Celebrate, Remember and Fight Back.”

Celebrate: This is the opening ceremony at the beginning of the event. It celebrates those who are currently undergoing treatment or those who have battled cancer in the past. This always begins with a Survivors lap, where survivors of cancer wear purple and walk a lap, thus beginning the Relay.

Remember: This is the second element

of the Relay, where the candle of hope ceremony will take place at 10pm on the Friday night. This is where those who have been lost to cancer are remembered. The lights in the Mardyke track will be switched off and the track will be illuminated with a line of candles. There will be a lap of silence to

remember the victims of Cancer.

Fight Back: This is the final element and makes up the rest of the Relay, which will be filled with music, events, games, live performances and a host of other activities all of which will raise awareness as well as money for charity.

Teams may still be registered by contacting the UCC Cancer Society on cancer@uccsocieties.ie. Once registered, teams are welcome to start their fundraising, and the UCC Cancer Society committee are on hand to help out whenever needed.

Est.

6 1997

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ISSUE 10| UCC Express

Our Health THIS WEEK IN HISTORY

Jill Kingston, Staff Writer I’ve been meaning to write a typical college blog post about all of my adventures, my ups and downs, my friends and my life in general; this isn’t it. Though it will touch on all of the things mentioned, again, this really isn’t it.

As college students, our health is something we really neglect. Note that I said “we;” I’m a massive culprit for neglecting my own health too. We drink too much, we don’t sleep, we don’t make proper dinners, some of us don’t eat dinner, and some of us don’t really eat at all. We lack funds, we lack warmth, we have terrible hygiene, we hang out with people who have terrible hygiene, and we don’t care. This is our health.

We neglect our mental health too. We push our deadlines to the last minute, we get stressed, we feel pressure from our friends, peers and parents. We let ourselves down when we don’t do our best, and we let it get to us when others do better. For lots of us, college is growing up. We fall in and out of love, we live fast and for the moment, we don’t think of the consequences; then we think of them too much. This is our health.

Very recently, three weeks ago in fact, I fainted. I fainted in the presence of others and no one thought very much of it or panicked in any sense. An ambulance wasn’t called, I got up on my own and went on about my day. However, I felt very unwell and there was niggling in my mind that something wasn’t entirely right. I called my G.P back home, told them the story of what had happened, and they suggested that I immediately go to A&E.

I was seen pretty quickly in A&E, they take loss of consciousness pretty seriously. They hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor and checked my heart rate. My resting heart rate was 195. For those of you not very medically inclined like myself, a normal resting heart rate is between 60 and 100. The nurse presumed the heart rate monitor wasn’t working, so a new one was brought to me, it showed the same result.

I was then given an ECG heart scan, and again, it was done twice because the results couldn’t be right? The nurses and doctors who saw me thus after were very vague, when I asked what was going on they said, “the lines on your monitor are too long” and other equally things like, “you’ll have to wait to hear from this special doctor who isn’t here yet.” I was worried.

Eventually I was seen by the doctor, who was lovely, and I was told I had long QT syndrome. This was a rather serious diagnosis, and it slowly began to make sense why countless doctors asked me about my family’s medical history, and if anyone had ever died very young and unexpectedly, if their hearts had just stopped.

I was lucky that I had called the doctor back home “just in case”, because I was just planning on laying low for a while and hoping I felt better in a few days. I didn’t want to worry my family by going to the doctor, let alone the hospital, and I didn’t want to incur any expenses for doing so.

This was my health.

It is so easy as a student to think that because we are young issues regarding health won’t affect us. That because we are young, outgoing and only students, that mental illness cannot affect us. It’s hard to

see friends struggling. It’s even harder to watch friends struggling whilst you also struggle, and neither of you are capable of addressing each other’s struggles, because you feel like you don’t deserve to struggle sometimes.

You are allowed to be down, you are allowed to be sick, and most of all, you are allowed to take a break. This is our health.

I’m going to be ok now, after a stint in hospital and over a week at home, the danger had passed and everything is back to normal. In hindsight, I could feel myself getting progressively more unwell for a few weeks, but I ignored my body because I wanted to keep going, and didn’t want to fall behind.

I urge you all to look after yourselves. It is ok to skip going on night out because you feel tired or a bit unwell, no one is going to think you’re being dry. It is ok to miss that one class because you’ve developed what you can only imagine to be the reincarnation of the whooping cough, you can get a sick note from the doctor or get the notes from your friends or lecturer.

I urge you all to look after your friends.

Some people require a bit of encouragement to go to the doctor, and others just need the support in knowing that it is perfectly fine to go home for a while to recuperate. Talk to your friends, make sure they’re doing ok. College is a stressful time for almost all of us, even if some of us don’t look to be affected.

This is our health, and we have to look after it.

This article is adapted by a post from Jill’s blog, which can be found by going to jillandtonics.wordpress.com.

28th February: Exactly a year ago on this day a god was finally given recognition, and the internet had a college-student-type meltdown, as Leonardo DiCaprio won his long-awaited Oscar. Although many (and by this I mean I) believed his earlier performances in Blood Diamond, Inception or of course Titanic were far more worthy of an award, this was a momentous occasion in history nonetheless. He used his acceptance speech to talk about climate change. What a sweetheart.

1st March: On this day in 1692, Tituba becomes the first woman to be arrested in Salem on accusations of being a witch, along with Sarah Goode and Sarah Osbourne, who she accused of helping her curse two girls in the village. While all three women asserted their innocence during the trials, Tituba later confessed to using witchcraft under torture from her master, and Goode’s innocence was put in question when – after insisting she had been reciting the Ten Commandments and not curses – she could not even recite one of the Commandments aloud.

Tituba appears in much fiction as the mother of witchcraft, most recently mentioned in American Horror Story.

2nd March: In 1904, Theodore Geisel – better known as Dr Seuss – is born in Massachusetts. While he worked as an illustrator for many magazines, such as Vanity Fair, and even in the animation department of the US Army, he is best known for his children’s books, with over 60 of them being published during his career.

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Lent: Not Just About Giving Things Up

FEATURES

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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY CONTINUED...

3rd March: On this day in 1934, the Depression’s most notorious criminal, John Dillinger, escaped from prison for the third time. Details of how he evaded capture are unclear, but the most accepted story is that he made use of a fake gun – a potato he carved with his razor - during his escape. Adept at evading the police force, Dillinger even went as far as to have plastic surgery to alter his appearance, and remove his fingerprints. His dedication to the cause earned the more criminal years of the Depression the title of ‘the Dillinger Days’.

Stephen Spillane, Staff Writer Lent starts this week on Ash Wednesday and many people, myself included, may inadvertently get flashbacks to years gone by with having to give up sweets, chocolate or crisps (while in school anyway) and collecting for Trócaire Boxes. But is this really how we should be remembering Lent? Just as a period of self-denial?

Or should we be looking at it differently?

I think we should.

This year Lent runs for the “40 days” (not in actuality, it’s really more like 43) between Ash Wednesday on March 1st to Holy (or Maundy) Thursday on April 13th and culminates with Easter Sunday on April 16th.

While many Christians use Lent to try and imitate Jesus Christ when, according to Matthew 4:2, He “fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished” (NRSVA). While giving things up for Lent works for some people, it doesn’t work for everyone.

Over the past few years for Lent I have tried taking something up for Lent, so in effect, I have given up giving up for Lent.

This could be something spiritual such as trying daily prayer, something personal like making space for yourself in a busy life, or something for the community by volunteering your time & talents.

Taking up Prayer for Lent does not mean you have to go to church. Prayer is about creating space for you and your belief, whatever they may be. It can be anywhere where you give yourself the time and permission to stop, reflect and be. For me I do most of my prayers on the bus while on my daily commute. If this sort of unstruc-

tured prayer would be hard for you there are loads of apps out there to help.

One app I have tried recently is from TryPraying.co.uk. This app gives you something to read and reflect on, a video of someone talking about their personal experience of prayer, words to think about and a prayer each day for seven days to get you in the rhythm of prayer.

“Over the past few years for Lent I have tried taking something up for Lent, so in effect, I have given up giving up for Lent. ” Lent is also an opportunity to do something for yourself. I was chatting to a few friends recently about Lent and they had some great ideas for themselves for Lent.

One was giving up wine, one was going back to the Gym and living more healthily, another was going to quit Facebook for Lent and one was going to quit smoking.

Other ideas for you to consider are to treat yourself during Lent by giving you ‘Me Time’, that opportunity to stop and just be, let life go by on your schedule and not constantly running on someone else’s (but still keeping up with work and study). This could be time spent at the gym, out walking, or reading a good book for enjoyment.

Whatever it is, it should be for you and help you be more you!

Just taking time out during Lent could be good for you. This could be taking a weekend out to chill and have coffee with friends and family, or it could be a weekend away on retreat, or just an opportunity to visit somewhere new and learn from new experiences.

Doing something in the Community for Lent is another option, this could be get-

ting involved in the local Tidy Towns, which will be swinging into gear now that the weather is getting (somewhat) warmer, or could be helping one of the myriad of amazing community organisations up and down the country who are in need of people to give generously of their time and talents. Some examples include charities or causes you personally support & believe in, or groups like ReImagine Cork.

You could also get involved in fundraising during Lent - while Trócaire and Christian Aid both run Lenten campaigns to encouraging giving, there is bound be a local or national charity event running during Lent that appeals to you. This is your opportunity to get involved and support them.

If you want to do something to help the wider community, and the world at large, you could try doing a Carbon Fast for Lent.

This is an idea promoted by Green Anglicans and other ecumenical organisations to try and mitigate the effect we as individuals have on the planet and its climate. Lent gives us the space and the opportunity to live more simply and try and reduce our impact on the climate. You can download a Lenten Calendar from GreenAnglicans. org.

So why not join me this Lent and ‘give up giving up’ and take something up to benefit you, your community or even the planet. Whatever you do, I wish you a peaceful and blessed Lent.

4th March: In 1924, Clayton Sunny, owner of Clayton F. Summy Company, publishes the song “Happy Birthday To You,” even though the melody originates from the late 1800s, and its original name was “Good Morning To All,” a kindergarten song. Although many books published quoted this version of the song, Summy Company first published the version we all know, claiming it first legally copyrighted the song, and insisting that the song could not be played in movies or radio, or even sung anywhere in public, without royalties being paid to the company. A 2015 lawsuit finally found Summy Company’s copyright claim baseless. So rest assured, you will not be fined for all those people you wished ‘Happy Birthday’ in public.

5th March: On this day in 1868 the first trial began in the US Senate on the impeachment of a US president: Andrew Johnson. The trial was held over 11 impeachment articles, with particular attention drawn to Johnson’s removal of the presiding Secretary of War. Although Johnson was acquitted, his trial became the most dramatic event in politics during the Reconstruction Era, and there would not be another impeachment until 131 years later – when Bill Clinton was accused of perjury and obstruction of justice (hint hint Monica Lewinsky).

Est.

8 1997

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ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Sonic Brainwave Ciara Dinneen, Deputy Features Editor What would life be without music? According to Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, poet and cultural critic, life without music would be a mistake.

This may seem a rather radical statement on the role that music plays in our lives, but it is entirely true; the importance of music in our world cannot be overstated. Music, it seems, has always played a major role in each and every society and tribal community throughout the course of human history, all of which had some form of music that was influenced by their culture. It is believed that the origins of music itself may possibly date back around 55,000 years. What’s more, the power and influence of music goes further than that level of societal and cultural importance; music “expresses that which cannot be said” (Victor Hugo), it “gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything” (Plato). In the words of Jimi Hendrix, “music is a safe kind of high,” and a high it most certainly is.

It seems as though the power and influence of music holds no boundaries. Music has the capacity to evoke strong emotional responses from within us; music can make us feel euphorically happy and elated; music can make us feel intense sadness through sound alone, or through nostalgia for the memories that we attach to particular songs. Music is very strongly connected to memory. Just as we associate particular smells with different people or places, we associate particular songs with different memories; “I’ll Be There For You,” the Friends theme tune, will forever and always bring me back to my graduation night in secondary school. We also associate particular songs with particular people; the song your crush showed you will most likely remind you of them, or you’ll remember slow dancing with your boyfriend or girlfriend to Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” whenever that song is played. A study carried out in 2009 by University of California, Davis, which mapped the brain while people listened to music, found that specific brain regions that are linked to autobiographical memories and emotions are activated when we listen to familiar music. The author of the study, Petr Janata, said “What seems to happen is that a piece of familiar music serves as a soundtrack for a mental movie that starts playing in our head. It calls back memories of a particular person or place, and you might all of a sudden see that person’s face in your mind’s eye… Now we can see the association between those two things — the music and the memories.”

These little phenomena beg the question:

FEATURES

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

What does music actually do to us, to our brains, when we listen to it? Here are just a few of the occurrences explained…

What is actually happening up there, in our brains? First, the auditory cortex decomposes the music into its most basic, fundamental features, such as volume and pitch. It works with the cerebellum to break down the musical information into its component parts: pitch, timbre, spatial location and duration. This information is processed by higher-order brain structures which analyse these components of the music and create a rich experience for the listener. The cerebellum has connections with the brain’s emotional centre, the amygdala, which is heavily involved in impulse control. The amygdala is processed by the mesolimbic system, which is involved in arousal, pleasure and the transmission of neurotransmitters like dopamine. This initiates a dopamine rush – the same dopamine rush we feel while eating deliciously satisfying food or having sex – producing that sensational feeling of “chills.” So yes, music is up there among the greatest joys in life; food and sex.

The Power of the Beat: According to neuroscience, our brains process rhythm differently to melody. Researchers, led by Michael Thaut of Colorado State University's Center for Biomedical Research in Music, found pattern, meter and tempo processing tasks activated "right, or bilateral, areas of frontal, cingulate, parietal, prefrontal, temporal and cerebellar cortices," while tempo processing "engaged mechanisms subserving somatosensory and premotor information.” This has led to some intriguing discoveries: groovy music promotes corticospinal excitability, which is the cause of the strong urge to dance. Music can also cause blood to pump into the muscles in our legs, which many believe is what causes people to tap their feet. Rhythm can cause changes in heart rate and respiratory patterns, which can result in these internal cycles falling into sync with the music.

“I see music. It’s more than just what I hear.” Could Beyoncé be right here? Can one see music? Do you find yourself imagining yourself featuring in a music video for the song you’re listening to, creating scenarios and going through all the drama in your head? This is because listening to music activates the visual cortex found at the back of the brain in the occipital lobe. Research has found that some music caused listeners to conjure up appropriate imagery to match the changes, progression and mood of the music they were listening to. And so, there is in fact scientific validity behind Beyoncé’s claim that she can see music.

Nice one, Bey. Can music heal? Yes, it can. Research carried out by the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (RCSI) has shown that one in five young adults aged 1924 experience mental health problems.

Alternative treatment methods include art therapy, meditation and yoga, but music, because of its universality, easy accessibility and transmission, has perhaps the greatest potential in terms of alternative methods of therapy, and can aid people who may be unable to access other forms of care. Controlled treatment outcome studies have shown that music therapy improves symptoms and social functioning among schizophrenics. Music therapy has also proven efficient in independent treatment for reducing depression, anxiety and chronic pain. In the UK-based Journal of Advanced Nursing, a paper from 2006 about the ‘Effect of music on power, pain, depression and disability’ stated that listening to music can reduce chronic pain from a range of painful conditions, including osteoarthritis, disc problems and rheumatoid arthritis, by up to 21%, and reduce depression by up to 25%.

“ Music therapy has also proven efficient in independent treatment for reducing depression, anxiety and chronic pain. ”

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#UCCVotes on March 6th & 7th

Music has a positive effect on health in three main ways. Firstly, through the positive physical effects of music, which include direct biological changes such as reducing heart rate, blood pressure and cortisol levels. Secondly, relatable and thought provoking lyrics that act as a way through which we can express ourselves help us to increase positive thought, aid in our ability to empathise and promote helping behaviour; music along with lyrics touches people, and may be able to reach more people than psychotherapists could. This ties in with the final mechanism, that music is a connecting experience; it brings us together, and research has shown that improved social connection and support, which can be brought about through music, can improve overall mental health outcomes, and have a profound impact on individuals’ mental health.

Now you know why you get those indescribable, incredible feeling ‘chills’ when you hear the songs you love; the goosebumps that prickle your skin, moving in a wave over your arms, emanating from that shiver down your spine. You know why your heart flutters, and falls into sync with the rhythm of the music; the music is evoking emotion and you are experiencing such powerful feeling, all of which is caused by the sound; the beat, the tone, the timbre, the rhythm, the lyrics, all combined... There is hard scientific and biological reasoning behind the why and how music makes us feel the way that is does. How incredibly awesome is that?

Candidates: • President* - Art Kelleher, Katie O’Neill, Martin Scally.

• Deputy President & Campaigns Officer* - Mervyn Galvin, Daire O’Herlihy, Sean (Poodles) Ó Riabhaigh.

• VP Welfare* - Mike O’Keeffe.

• VP Commercial & Communications* - Barry O’Shea • VP Education* - Tadhg Casey, Chris McCahill • Entertainments Officer** Ben Dunlea • Equality Officer - Niamh O’Reilly • Oifigeach Gaeilge - Faye Murphy • CACSSS Rep - Elle Kelleher, Shane Kenneally, Amy Poland • SEFS Rep - Ronan Carey • Medicine & Health Rep Niamh Hogan, Laura Mitchell • Business & Law Rep Kayleigh O’Sullivan *Paid Sabbatical roles ** Position has an optional paid part time sabbatical There will also be a referendum on the day, asking students what the SU’s position on Irish Unity should be. For more information on polling stations, go to Facebook.com/UCCSU. For up-to-date election coverage, go to @UCCExpress on Facebook & Twitter.

Est.

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FEATURES

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Generation snowflake?

Lisa Ryan, Opinion Writer I keep hearing about my generation, ‘Generation Snowflake’. We're all very easily offended, supposedly. We get "triggered."

We can't cope with the harsh realities of the real world, or so it would seem, according to the general media. I'm a twenty five year old woman; Collins dictionary defines Generation Snowflake as “the generation of people who became adults in the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offence than previous generations.” I turned 18 in September 2009, so I would probably fit in just fine in there.

What is it about our generation that makes us so put-downable, so talked down to and spoken about in negative terms?

In some ways, the entire Generation Snowflake thing is simply an extension of "Children Should Be Seen and Not Heard." It comes from older generations, those who feel like they faced their own hardships and got on with it, so we should too. Should we? In Ireland over the last couple of years we have seen incredible changes in economy, in politics, in human rights. Changes both good and bad, and attitude changes to match. A decade ago, if you'd told someone in 2017 it would be legal to be married to the person you love regardless of your sexual orientation it would have seemed impossible. We made that possible. However, the same progressive society which has allowed love to be love, not defined by any rules, also imprisons women's rights and allows people to live in inhumane conditions.

In the past, Ireland has been a "seen and not heard" country. We allowed terrible atrocities to happen without saying a word. We bowed to the steeple and the state without any question. A country who speaks of 800 years of oppression, carrying on the tradition by itself with the Catholic Church for many years after their independence. None of this is news. We all know of the scandals of the Magdalene Laundries, the Symphysiotomy patients who were made to suffer so unnecessarily, the state schools, the abuses.

People knew and stayed silent. That is not our generation.

Perhaps social media has allowed us the freedom, or the feeling of a freedom that we can say whatever we feel and SOMEONE will listen. The very act of writing this piece is in the hopes that someone will read it, that it will make them think, perhaps start a conversation. We're a generation who get pissed off, and we say something.

Every service in existence (phone companies, tech support, fast food delivery etc.) has a review system at the end of it - we're encouraged to speak out about our experience. For certain political issues, there is a similar forum, through conversations online and in person. It's there we hit the limit though. How much is too much? Just how much can we get away with saying "Eh, that's really not acceptable?"

“ We’re a generation who get pissed off, and we say something.”

In an ideal world, this wouldn't be an issue, but as the political situation of the last year has shown us, this is far from an ide-

al world. This is an argument that's been hashed out a lot over the last few months, so I deign to repeat the words of so many others. "Generation Snowflake" may well be in the dictionary, but it doesn't mean it's not a put-down. The impetus for this piece was a quick clip I heard on the radio while stuck in traffic on Friday evening, about theatres and trigger warnings. Instantly, the term "Generation Snowflake" came into play, and the idea of trigger warnings limiting art was waved around like an all-blanketing flag.

I have thoughts on trigger warnings in art, both from things I've read and my own personal experiences. In life, we are given warnings for many experiences. When I went to Funderland with my partner last year, I discovered there were little to no rides I was able to go on, as it was advised that those with back injuries avoid them.

Television and Cinema have for years disclosed flashing lights and strobe lights for those sensitive to such things. Supermarkets, cinemas and soft play areas have begun to adapt to the needs of their customers who may be on the Autism Spectrum with lowered sensory hours. So, should theatre be any different?

The issue came up as an announcement from the Royal Court theatre company on their website stated that they would be providing special advice to customers wanting to talk about a play’s content before watching it, to prevent “extreme distress.”

This announcement has been greeted with mixed reactions. Some (probably those of us Gen. Snowflake folk) have been in sup-

port, others have used it as a stick to beat our delicate temperaments with.

Theatre is a visceral art. I studied it for a year in University, having spent my youth and teenage years in Youth Theatres and drama courses, loving and living for the stage. It's a powerful medium, much more intimately personal than film or other mediums, as it is as in-person as it gets. The job of the actor is to embody the role they are playing; to play the emotions and actions as raw as they would if it were actually happening to themselves. Unsurprisingly, this can lead to upsetting scenes if the actors are convincing and have drawn their audience in. Dependent on the script and the director, the tone of the show can vary and may present some issues for members of the audience.

“ It’s a powerful medium, much more intimately personal than film or other mediums, as it is as in-person as it gets. ” One play in particular was mentioned as an example in support of the Trigger Warning plan was "Cleansed" by Sarah Kane. It's not a play I've seen in its entirety, my experience of it is merely a glimpse at four scenes as part of Culture Night. That said, four scenes were more than enough for me.

Shown in the black box theatre setting of the Granary Theatre, we were close to the action - and it felt as if we were all part of the traumatic scenes which were ongoing.

I watch my fair share (and more) of crime dramas, murder thrillers, Law and Order SVU, but the content of this play was dif-

OPINION

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express ferent. We were onlookers to what can only be described, in its mildest terms, as abuse.

The actors were incredible; there wasn't an option to go "this is just a play, this is not real." People walked out throughout the performance. Personally, I felt the need to leave after the third scene, but opted to stay because of my knowledge that it was theatre, it was visceral, this is how it's meant to be.

I am not a victim of any form of abuse. I consider myself extremely lucky in this regard. I walked out of that performance traumatised, unable to forget what I had just witnessed. Again, kudos to the cast for an extremely convincing performance. Had I been a victim or someone who was dealing with issues related to the topics though, I'm not sure just how that would have had me react.

“ I walked out of that performance traumatised, unable to forget what I had just witnessed.”

For students, the question is as to whether there is a place for trigger warnings in the classroom. In a university setting, it is a melting pot of people from all different circumstances and backgrounds. While the mind is indeed opened by what we learn in lectures and in reading, there is a question as to just how aware we should be of the content before diving right in. Sexual assault aside, though it is a prevalent issue in colleges around the world, there are many topics which can potentially exacerbate anxiety or feelings of distress in students.

As academic policy, is this something we should just "suck it up and get on with it" or should we consider the needs of the students in planning of academic programmes?

When I was a drama student, I suffered a bereavement of a close friend midway through the year. It was a shock, and one which I wasn't dealing particularly well with. Just after Christmas, our class started to study ‘Everyman’, the morality play from the 15th century which basically dis-

cusses how God will judge you after death.

It's a brilliant piece of work, one which I later focused on as a case study, but at that time I simply was unable to deal with it. In the efforts to make a group of mostly 18 year olds realise the gravitas of the situations being invoked in the piece, the lecturer went full on with "this is the reality of death, there is no coming back" etc. I left the class and spent the rest of the day unable to focus or partake. I skipped necessary lectures because the words he was using kept repeating in my head and my grief was hitting me all over again. Thankfully, having spoken to students in later years of the course, I was advised to speak up. I asked for a meeting with the lecturer who was at the time the head of the course, and explained my situation. Not only was he very understanding, he advised that I should sit out the next two lectures, as they would be dealing with the same topics, and that he would let me know when we were moving on. In no way was this to infringe my academic progress, but the department took my mental health needs into account

as they would for any other student.

So, we must look at what is considered to be "mollycoddling" and what is called basic care when it looks at how we make students of academia, and in fact anyone who partakes in watching performances, reading literature or enjoying other forms of culture, be subject to topics which may indeed cause distress or trauma. The true art of such things is to invoke feelings; that much is not being disputed, but I don't think it would be considered mollycoddling to have in place a system where people who are aware of their triggers can check to ensure the performance does not negatively impact their mental state.

I'm a great believer and supporter of the importance of the arts and of sharing works which tell stories that evoke every emotion possible. I'm also a staunch believer of self care, and the right to the individual to maintain their own self care. As such, I see no reason that this should be considered a slur on either. And if that makes me a snowflake, then so be it.

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OPINION

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

‘Nordic Model’ Adopted in Ireland insofar as it doesn’t differentiate between consensual sex work and human trafficking for the purposes of sexual exploitation. There is a marked difference between choosing to perform a service and being coerced to do it through threats of violence: we do not consider working part-time in a local shop comparable to forced child labour, for example. That is why labour laws exist.

Failing to recognise the difference between these two realities is incredibly harmful, as all it does is reinforce stigmatising prejudices – if society views sex workers as helpless victims who aren’t quite helpless enough to be entirely innocent, we neglect both those who engage with the profession as rational and consenting adults, and those who are being exploited and genuinely need assistance.

“ There is a marked difference between choosing to perform a service and being coerced to do it through threats of violence.”

Lauren Mulvihill, Byline Editor

country, discourages human trafficking, and sends a moral message – that In February of this year, the Criminal paying for any kind of sexual service Law (Sexual Offences) Act 2015 was is wrong and inherently exploitative. passed by the houses of the Oireachtas. The issue with the Nordic Model is that, The Bill was passed in the Dáil by 94 while those who support it are generalvotes to 6, with 3 abstentions, and will ly well-meaning, it simply doesn’t work be reviewed after three years. While this to rectify any of the abuses it claims to now means that victims of sex crime combat. and child sexual abuse are afforded more protection under the law, particu- Kate McGrew, of the Sex Workers Allarly in a courtroom environment, and liance Ireland (SWAI), released a statea definition of ‘consent’ in Irish law, ment following the passing of the Bill, there has been a huge amount of con- describing it as “an empty moral gestroversy surrounding one of the Bill’s ture which will cause harm to the most central provisions: namely, the intro- marginalised in society.” duction of the Nordic Model to Ireland.

The Nordic Model was first enacted in Sweden in 1999. Sometimes referred to as ‘the Swedish Model’, the main difference between this and other models of sex work legislation is that it criminalises the buyer of sexual services rather than the provider. Originally brought about by lobbyists who perceived all sex work to be a form of patriarchal control over women, proponents of the Nordic Model believe that it lessens the number of sex workers operating within a

“The government’s moral crusade was driven by ideology not evidence,” she continued. “National and international expert groups provided clear evidence criminalisation of the purchase of sex is not only ineffective but would be harmful to the health and safety of sex workers across Ireland.”

“ The government’s moral crusade was driven by ideology not evidence”

These expert groups include WHO, UNAIDS, sex workers themselves, and Amnesty International, who published a report in 2016 calling for the full decriminalisation of consensual sex work.

This report was published following a two-year study that, unlike many studies of the same kind, actively included sex worker voices. What the evidence has overwhelmingly shown is that criminalising the purchase of consensual services does far more harm than good.

While follow-up studies in Sweden have indicated a drop in the number of sex workers operating on the streets, this group comprises only about 10% of sex workers overall, and it is far more likely that these workers have been forced to move further underground in order to protect their clientele. The Nordic Model simply adds to the significant stigma already faced by sex workers, and may be making working conditions increasingly dangerous. According to escort-ireland.com, rising levels of violence seem to characterise all jurisdictions where the purchase of sexual services is illegal.

The Nordic Model is also dangerous

Sex workers and advocacy groups are calling for the decriminalisation of consensual sex work. This will afford them the equal status under the law needed to enact laws and change that will actually be of benefit to them. Until sex work is recognised as legitimate work, and ceases to be conflated with human trafficking, workers will continue to face violence and prejudice that they can do next to nothing to legally rectify. These conditions are impossible under the Nordic Model.

“ This will afford them the equal status under the law needed to enact laws and change that will actually be of benefit to them.”

“We are appalled this Government is going against international expert opinion to bring in a law which jeopardises our safety, removes our bodily autonomy, and puts us at further risk of poverty,” says McGrew. “SWAI therefore looks forward to the review in three years’ time — a review which should examine the law’s impact on our health, well-being, and ability to protect ourselves from violence.”

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issue 10

Volume 2

Editorial

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Ireland to as great an extent as it has elsewhere. Put simply, to be body positive is to believe that all bodies are good bodies.

It’s about recognising that you as an individual come part and parcel with your body, and the shame you feel towards it is more likely than not artificially created by people who have a vested interest in making you hate yourself (I’m talking about the corporations who try to sell you products to ‘improve’ or ‘cleanse’ you of imaginary flaws; the people who try to limit your potential by fooling you into thinking that there’s something in the way you look that means you’ll never be enough). My theory is that we’re I remember, once upon a time, I was sit- still so terrified of seeming “notiony” in ting in a classroom during lunch break this country that we still readily conflate in school. I’m going to take a stab and say confidence with arrogance.

I would have been about thirteen years old. I was sitting on my own - not in a sad To be body positive is quite a radical way, don’t worry. Sometimes I just liked thing, because it means reclaiming your chilling with my own thoughts - and the own body and actively allowing others only other people in the room were two to reclaim theirs. That means unravgirls, whose names have been lost to an- elling years upon years of social contiquity (not really. They’re just not rel- ditioning that’s led us to believe that evant to this story). As I said, I was only human bodies can be, in some form or about thirteen, and I didn’t know these another, aesthetically flawed (they can’t. two girls well, but I couldn’t really avoid The whole concept of ‘flaws’ is ridicuoverhearing their conversation. lous and arbitrary). Your body is your “State of her,” one of them said. body and it’s the one thing you should

Positively Ridiculous

They weren’t talking about me. Can you imagine the cheek? I was sitting right there. No, I glanced up at them and they were, in fact, talking about some unidentified young lady whose Facebook profile they must have had up on a phone.

She was, apparently, a “state”, and this I knew because they made yet more snide remarks about her before continuing on with their lives.

Now, a normal person, knowing that this kind of behaviour is fairly typical of girls around that age, would probably have let that experience go and not pay it much mind. But a switch was flicked somewhere in my brain that day. I didn’t let it go. Who were they to judge this girl’s appearance? What silly arbitrary standards were they holding her to?

How would they feel if someone spoke this way about them? Although I didn’t have the proper terminology for it at the time, I think that moment was a catalyst for my developing a body-positive mindset.

The whole idea of “body positivity” is something I haven’t seen taking off in

be able to own above all other things on earth. It’s enough. Being kind to yourself in this way, believe it or not, is a political act: the hatred we have for our bodies not only divides us from others, it disconnects us from our own sense of self. That’s not easy, learning to accept yourself as a whole, unique human being - but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You’re enough simply by virtue of being you.

If you ask me, it’s about time we start encouraging as much difference in the way we look as we do in the way we think. If your body is your temple, you can decorate it as you please. You can take ownership of it regardless of whether some invisible force is trying to convince you that it’s somehow lesser. It’s not, and the invisible force is probably trying to sell you something. You are beautiful, you are lovely, you’re an all-around top class human being, and it’s all because there’s nobody on earth that is you-er than you.

Lauren Mulvihill

HOROSCOPES

with Medium phil

It’s ‘Pancake Tuesday’ so gather ‘round children and stuff yer gobs with these juicy ‘scopes (it’s what we call horoscopes now, it’s shorter, it saves time, you’ll love it).

you lost your virginity during RAG Week.

Get in there, my son!

Pancake topping: A banana and whipped cream

Aries (Mar. 21st – Apr. 19th) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you will come into a large sum of money. My money. Give it back.

Pancake topping: Your own tears, if I don’t get my money.

Libra (Sept. 23rd – Oct. 22nd) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you still haven’t seen Citizen Kane, but pretend like you have to be cool. For shame Pancake topping: Rose petals.

Taurus (Apr. 20th – May 20th) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you haven’t called your mam in a while. I was talking to her late last night, and she’s very upset.

Pancake topping: Whipped cream, though you’ll have to buy more, your mam and I ran out last night.

Gemini (May 21st – June 21st) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you’re running for the Students’ Union.

You poor bastard.

Pancake topping: The shredded pieces of paper from all those failed manifesto drafts.

Cancer (June 22nd – July 21st) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you still haven’t told that girl you’re the one who gave her crabs.

Pancake topping: Lemon juice...to go with the crabs. Come on, man.

Leo (July 22nd – Aug. 21st) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you believe, correctly, that lions would beat the sun in a fight. Well done.

Pancake topping: Brown envelope full of cash.

Virgo (Aug. 22nd – Sept. 22nd) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that

Scorpio (Oct. 23rd – Nov. 21st) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you voted Fine Gael in the Generals last time, and want to vote Fianna Fáil this time.

Pancake topping: Nothing, you generic bastard.

Sagittarius – (Nov. 22nd – Dec. 21st) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you’ve only just told your parents that you’re actually going to CIT, not UCC. Pancake topping: Disappointment.

Capricorn – (Dec. 22nd – Jan. 20th) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you’re a vegan. Which I knew because, of course, you told me.

Pancake topping: Dairy-free, ethically sourced chocolate sauce.

Aquarius – (Jan. 21st – Feb. 19th) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you read TheLiberal.ie. Might as well read The Sun while you’re at it, dickhead Pancake topping: Unethical journalism practices.

Pisces – (Feb. 20th – Mar. 20th) – I gaze deeply into the stars, and they tell me that you’re really quite sick of me making fish jokes at you, because of your sign.

Pancake topping: Anchovies, because fuck you.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

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Profile of a Poet: Patience Agbabi

Sarah Ryan, Byline Associate Editor “I write because my ink must flow like blood. The written must be spoken.”

Poetry can all too often be seen as a mundane practice. Today, many of us can still harbour outdated preconceptions about poetry: that it serves no purpose, that it is inaccessible, that it is unexciting and unengaging for an audience, or that it’s just full of sad musings from dead white guys and Sylvia Plath (no offense, Sylvia).

Though there now are scores of poets, poetry organisations and festivals successfully ousting those preconceptions, and there is one poet in particular: The outstandingly original, ridiculously rhythmic and performance-obsessed Patience Agbabi that is the breaking boundaries between poetry and modern life, as well as the boundaries between the page, the stage and even the skin.

Born in 1965 to Nigerian parents and fostered by a white British family living in Wales, Patience Agbabi’s unique upbringing was one that would serve her continually in her future creative life, gifting her with the ability to cross borders between cultures and language that adds a rare perspective to her poetry: “There were several advantages to my so-called unusual upbringing, including the ability to move between cultures and a strong interest in borders and boundaries. I’ve long been fascinated with the point at which one thing transforms or translates into another and this has informed my writing in both form and content.”

After completing her studies in English at Oxford, Agbabi’s professional life was to be very interesting indeed. She is the author of three collections of poetry and winner of a myriad of prestigious awards, as well as writer-in-residence at Eton (how her poems featuring BDSM and hard drugs go down with the public school boys is something I’m personally very curious about). But, to really crown her as the true rockstar of poetry, Agbabi is also the Artist-in-Residence at Flamin’ Eight tattoo parlour in London, where many of her poems have been tattooed onto the bodies of clients. She is also a founding member of the rap/pop-poetry group Atomic Lip. Reading and hearing her poetry, it’s not hard to see the poet’s affinity for rap.

Her style is extremely musical, and the poet has said in the past that she is more

focused on how the words sound, what the rhythm of her poetry is like rather than how it looks on the page. This is often the case for poets with a penchant for spoken-word and Agbabi describes her poetry as ‘page to stage’, and says that performance is a part of her editing process: “On retyping the poem I became aware of subtle changes that had taken place by subjecting the poem to a live audience. Inevitably, there is slight improvisation that often accentuates a point using a linguistic device.”

“Reading and hearing her poetry, it’s not hard to see the poet’s affinity for rap.”

Though all this clearly distinguishes Agbabi as a modern poet, one of her most important influences is that of romantic poetry, with the likes of Chaucer and The Canterbury Tales inspiring many of her works: “It was 1981. I was sweet 16 and ready to be seduced by Literature with a capital ‘L’... I thrilled at the Middle English, the rhyming couplets, the characters, the irony. Our English teacher set our homework to write a character sketch in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer... Three thousand lines later, I’d produced my own General Prologue to the Colwyn Bay Tales [Agbabi’s hometown] celebrating various characters from youth cults - mods, rockers, punks, soulies -and two tales in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer: iambic pen-

tameter, rhyming couplets, archaic inversions, irony, the lot.”

Agbabi is known for bending the rules of poetry, taking traditional poetic forms such as sonnets, and breaking tradition by changing rhyming schemes and patterns.

As a poet, Agbabi is constantly subverting our expectations as an audience to creative new, innovative styles of poetry. This can be seen particularly well in her poem RAPunzel, from her R.A.W. collection: Not once but twice upon a time coz you ain’t heard my speak this ain’t no fairy tale this is reality live in a tower block call it hell but it never get me down my name is RAPunzel . . .

Undoubtedly, Patience Agbabi is one of the modern poetry’s most exciting and innovative artists. Her writing is scalpel-like in its precision, and her intertwining of formal and colloquial language as well as street and text-speak makes her poetry a linguistic feast for any reader. If you’d like to read more of Patience Agbabi’s poetry, some recommendations include: The London Eye, Transformatrix, The Wife of Bafa, The Doll’s House and her collection Telling Tales, which was written during her time as Canterbury Poet Laureate, and was shortlisted for The Poetry Society’s Ted Hughes Award for New Work in Poetry the same year.

Film & TV

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Movie Recommendations For the season that’s in it, and considering I’m a massive hack, we need to get an election movie going, and the closest on screen comparison to the Students’ Union election is either The Campaign, the classic 1999 film ‘Election’ or - may I be so bold as to suggest - a particular episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Runs for Office (S2E8). It just goes to prove that elections are about proving who you want to blast you in the ass!

Girl Rising: Film review

New to Netflix Fifty Shades of Grey actually got added, so all that shame you brought to the cinema can now be enjoyed in the comfort of your home.

Just Out: Moonlight apparently is, but trying to find it playing in a cinema in Cork seems fairly difficult – distributors: what’s the story, bud? Also Get Out, directed and written by Jordan Peele of Key & Peele fame. It’s meant to be a fresh take on the horror genre, but if it isn’t and you go see it, you are fully within your rights to say to me “you gone done messed up now, A A Ron.” Person of the Week Jon Favreau – Someone stop this man from trying to perfectly recreate your childhood in a live-action setting (for context: recently directed The Jungle Book, and he’s directing the upcoming Lion King, with Donald Glover as Simba, and David Earl Jones as Mufasa).

married off young each year in the developing world. It shows the viewer that inequality is still very much alive in these places.

“ They are determined to better their circumstances and to help those around them.”

Ciara O’Reilly, TY Student

Let’s take Amina as an example. She is from Afghanistan, and used a pseudonym to hide her identity for her safety. Right from birth, her mother resented her because she wanted to have the status of a bearer of boys only. At age 12, she was married - or should I say, sold off - by her father to a distant cousin. Her parents then used the money they received for the marriage on a second-hand truck for Amina’s older brother. Soon after the wedding Amina gave birth to her son, herself only 14 years old. She refuses to give up and give in to the traditional ways of those in Afghanistan.

“Girl Rising” is a documentary based on the lives of nine different girls, all from impoverished or war torn areas like Cambodia, Haiti, Nepal, Sierra Leone and Afghanistan. Each girl has gone through some form of trauma in life; being orphaned, having their father die, being raped, being married off at a young age or experiencing a natural disaster. These stories always begin very darkly, focusing on the unfortunate pasts and traumas these girls have gone through, but as the story goes on, a message of empowerment shines through.

I personally adored this movie. The majority of these girls have experiThese girls show unbreakable strength. enced these traumas before the age of They are determined to better their 13. I almost can’t believe how they’ve circumstances and to help those become such amazing and empowering around them. They refuse to give in to women; it’s simply awe-inspiring. This the struggles of life, and keep moving movie provides an insight into a world forward. Between each story the film we are ignorant to. It shows us how if shows facts, such as the percentage of we never give up, better things will girls in school, or how many girls are come our way. It also shows how

over-privileged we are as people, and how sheltered we can be. The things that I witnessed in this movie totally shocked me, yet they happen every day to people around the world... and that’s scary.

“I almost can’t believe how they’ve become such amazing and empowering women; it’s simply awe-inspiring. ” I will never forget this movie: it made a lasting impression on me. I would easily rate it a 9 out of 10. What loses the final m a r k for me would be the unclear outcome of Wadley’s (Haiti) and Yasmin’s fate.

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FILM & TV Editor - Aaron Frahill

Television – the Endangered Species Aaron Frahill, Film & TV Editor

It has been well documented that the authority once wielded by television channels has been declining for a number of years, following the rise of streaming services such as Netflix. While that has been a tagline for a while now, I think it’s been very difficult for us as viewers to point out the exact areas where this has affected the standard media we have grown up with. The announcement at the end of last year that RTE were outsourcing children’s television proved the first actual, real consequence that I took notice of - I was left feeling a weird sense of guilt that the next generation of young people won’t get to experience the strange, quirky shows we watched as children. I am of the opinion that Irish people are deeply cynical and critical of RTE-led productions, inspecting every detail to make sure it’s satisfactory and screaming the house down if it’s not (e.g. see the public witch-hunt on a large amount of Friday nights on social media that relate to the Late Late; you’d think Tubridy committed treason the way the majority of people talk about him) – but a subsection of RTE that much of us remember with fondness was the likes of The Den, or (for our more mature readers) Bosco – the Irish appreciation of growing up with Dustin the Turkey and Socky are now about to slowly drain away to nothing. As much as I wish I could write an article on how to make television soar back to prominence, I can only analyse its downfall to the point where it reaches a level of subsistence.

This is an international issue, with the internet being the orchestrator of television’s decline. To apply some of what I study in college to this scenario, it’s a process of creative destruction, where old technology is replaced by new technology.

How does this apply to television though?

If I have a scenario where I can watch anything at any time I want, versus a situation where if I want to watch a certain show I have to turn on my television at an exact time, with the added bonus of ad breaks – economics have been telling us for a year and a half now that if you are a normal person you’re going to choose the easier option, and thus explains the switch from television to streaming services. Can you reverse this process? No. Firstly, the easier

“ I am of the opinion that Irish people are deeply cynical and critical of RTE-led productions” option exists now, so there is no logic in reversing the process. Secondly, advertising revenue drives the entertainment industry, and streaming services use ‘no advertising’ as a massive ploy to draw in customers. Maybe in the future this will change, but it’s unlikely. Alongside the likes of video-sharing websites like Youtube, the ease to access an infinitely large catalogue – the market has completely changed, with the likes of my generation being quite disconnected from sitting down in front of a television. We are witnessing a societal change, which begs the question: what tidal wave are we riding towards in the future?

It is likely one that is going to destroy television as we know it.

If we observe the gears that are keeping television going, there’s a large dependency on live events, which I imagine won’t change just down to how difficult it would be to unearth contracts, especially for sporting-related events - but it’s the television series that keep a large proportion of its audience from going elsewhere. Yet again, the internet proves to be a deterrent to the maximum financial success that could be achieved. Game of Thrones is undoubtedly the most popular television show running currently. If we look at the piracy that was made so accessible with the internet, we see that there was a couple million illegal downloads within the first 12

hours of an episode airing. Online piracy is simple, accessible, and very much lacks consequences for users if they’re careful enough – again, this rampant use of piracy is changing the incentives for TV studios.

Why should they put aside large budgets if it results in a massive loss in revenue due to pirates? If, in the future, the battle of government versus piracy doesn’t become a massive issue, I’ll be quite surprised.

continue as it’s clearly a success for Netflix, but what if this reaches a point where they become the market leader? I’m sure we’ll still have critically acclaimed content, but again it comes back to losing the standard form of media – and while I will admit I’m a bit nostalgic, I fully believe that the losers in this situation are the smaller TV stations like RTE. If you’ve watched a show produced by RTE, the personality oozes off it to such an extent that you would know it’s Irish, regardless of quality. The same goes “Yet again, the internet for your typical BBC show: it has its own proves to be a deterrent sense of place that can’t be replaced. So if I to the maximum financial could point to anything that is being lost it success that could be is that niche personality that changes from place to place is lost as Netflix, and similar achieved. ” streaming services, appeal to a global marBeing a bit of a devil’s advocate to myself, ket. The only counter to this is that they you could ask is it my nostalgia or resis- attempt to have localised shows, but they tance to change that cause me to attach a have no motivation to do this as it’ll be tarnegative tone to the whole process of the geting a small market that likely won’t give television media morphing? The issue that them a significant increase in profit. presents itself here is that studios and, let’s say, Netflix have an interdependent rela- The internet has proved a serial killer for tionship, where Netflix pays a studio in many industries, and it looks set to claim order to gain distribution rights, and then another in the form of the television, at the studio receives revenue firstly as well least as we know it. While it looks bleak for as more interest in the show – so a win-win a cable based future, I think the safest bet situation. But what began to happen was we can all place is that television will subthat these “Netflix originals” started being sist through many events that we tune in produced, beginning with House of Cards, annually to watch, but the same security and now has undeniably reached a point cannot be said for the likes of our stanof saturation at this stage where there’s a dard TV shows and where they will reside. new original every week, which seems to Change is a sobering thought, and it leaves suggest that Netflix is trying to squash the fears of loss and turmoil for the future – business of television. And why wouldn’t yet change doesn’t appear, it’s constant they? That’s the way businesses work, so and by the time it’s occurred you haven’t these aggressive tactics will undoubtedly even given it notice in its process.

MUSIC

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Kanye Fact of the week Kanye launched an online travel company in 2008 called Kanye Travel Ventures (KTV). This was during a time when Kanye had so much money that he was struggling with ways in which to invest it. He created KTV as a way to offer premium air travel to his fans. He hired industry experts to try to make the venture a success, but unfortunately the company was closed soon after its launch.

Albums coming soon • •

÷ - Ed Sheeran, 3rd March Volcano – Temples, March 3rd Rather You Than Me – Rick Ross, March 10th Semper Femina – Laura Marling, March 10th More Life – Drake (Playlist), March 4th

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Beginners guide to: Big Sean 1.

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I Don’t Fuck With You Jump Out The Window Control Blessings No Favours One Man Can Change The World 7. Clique 8. Memories PT.2 9. B e ware

10. B o u n c e Back

Festival Watch Cailean Coffey, Music Editor Dozens of acts have been added to this summer’s Sea Sessions festival; The Coronas, Sigma, Foy Vance, All Twins, Bitch Falcon, Jafaris and Wolves of Youth are all set to take to the stage for the beach party of the summer.

Tickets are on sale now through TicketMaster, with Day Tickets going for €49.50 and €99.50 for a three day camping ticket.

Forbidden Fruit is also set to return for its seventh instalment on the June Bank Holiday (3rd -5th June) at the Royal Hospital, Kilmain-

ham. The headliners have been announced as Orbital, Aphex Twins and Bon Iver, with Bon Iver making their long-awaited return following their reunion and new album by curating the whole of the Monday of the Festival. Acts also announced include Flying Lotus, Lisa Hannigan, Moderat and The Staves. 3-day weekend tickets are on sale for €145.50 and single day tickets are on sale for €59.50.

Things have been silent on both the Longitude and Electric Picnic front. Electric Picnic however have announced that their first Headliner will be announced on the week of the 20th

of March. Longitude have remained silent.

Indiependence have recently announced new additions to their line-up for the August bank holidays. The likes of Brit-winner Tom Odell, Frank Turner, Brian Deady, All Twins, Overhead, The Albatross and We Cut Corners are set to join the headliners The Coronas, Manic Street Preachers and Sigma in Deer Park in Mitchelstown. Tickets are on sale now on Ticketmaster, grade one tickets have already sold out and grade two is close to selling out.

You can upgrade to a VIP package for an extra €50.

Sampha: Process Review Cailean Coffey, Music Editor

Sampha, the London-born singer/songwriter and producer, has released a beautifully delicate and stripped back debut on par with his work on albums by the likes of Drake, Kanye West, Solange and Beyoncé. However, despite all its positives, there seems to be something missing.

The critical success elsewhere was largely dictated by the emotional power of the album.

The ease at which Sampha drifts between heartbreak, melancholy and loneliness is impressive, however, the true weight is felt when he finally finds his way home, to his family. The artist’s mother died of cancer in September 2015 and her death can be felt throughout the album. Her presence is felt most strongly on the song ‘(No One Knows Me) Like the Piano’, a ballad written to his family piano that his father brought home when Sampha was three years old, where he professes his love for the one thing that

hasn’t left him and hasn’t withered under age or disease. The highlights of this album are those moments where the instrumentation is toned down, and Sampha uses these moments of silence to show off both his soulful and R’n’B inspired vocals. The songs “Timmy’s Prayer” and “Kora Sings” are the definite highlights of the LP that has very little flaws. Each song is an examination of the human psyche.

“The critical success elsewhere was largely dictated by the emotional power of the album.”

However, Sampha’s low, soulful voice does at

points make it difficult to concentrate fully on the lyrics and theme of the song. While the majority of songs do change in the middle third, if not fully concentrating, songs can seem to merge into each other on the 2nd or third listen. The production throughout the album is flawless, the choice of minimalism is impeccable and it suits the artist beautifully - any more instrumentation would have felt clunky and unnecessary.

This fascinating, soulful debut shows off Sampha’s brilliant songwriting and producing abilities while also giving listeners reasons to contemplate both their own morality and the fragility of life around them.

4/5

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music Editor - Cailean Coffey

Beyoncé was robbed, but should it be a surprise anymore?

Cailean Coffey, Music Editor The 2017 Grammys will always be remembered by the arrival of Chance the Rapper and an important step in the independent revolution.

Chance stole the show from beginning to end, from his three Grammy wins themselves to delivering the best live performance of the night with his rendition of “How Great” and “All We Got” with Kirk Franklin and Francis and The Lights. Other performances included the highly political rap pack A Tribe Called Quest and Anderson Pa.ak teaming up for three songs, calling Donald Trump “President Agent Orange” in the process of delivering the most political moment of the night; and Ed Sheeran, Beyoncé and Bruno Mars delivering performances to be remembered, for one reason or another.

The awards went largely as expected, and largely as deserved. David Bowie deservedly won three awards posthumously, for both Best Alternative Music Album, Best Rock Song and Best Rock Performance. Flume won Best Dance/Electronic Album for his work “Skin”; The Chainsmokers won Best Dance Recording for “Don’t Let Me Down”; and Twenty- One Pilots won the award for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for “Stressed Out”. Chance the Rapper finally won three Grammys on the first night he was eligible, taking home awards for Best Rap Performance for “No Problem”, Best Rap Album and Best New Artist. However, very quickly you began to get the sense that something was going wrong voting-wise for the Recording Academy.

There is no question, in any normal individual’s mind, what album should have won the award for Best Album. Beyoncé’s “Lemonade” was the most cohesive and understandable album on the list of nominees, and featured some of the

best songs Beyoncé has ever recorded.

It was very succinct, and each track stepped seamlessly into the next, on a wave of heartbreak, anxiety and anger. It encapsulated what it felt like to be human, and what it felt like to feel underappreciated. Adele’s “25”, while a good album, was not on that level, and it’s saying something when even the person who wrote the album didn’t want it to win. When Adele won Best Album, it was a clear choice the Academy had made: the Academy had decided to play it safe. Giving it to Beyoncé would have, in their eyes, brought on too much negative publicity (which I don’t quite understand) and so they decided to give it to everyone’s favourite down-toearth superstar, thus making the award show lose another sliver of the little credibility it had left. While it can be argued that streaming the album exclusively on Tidal may have hindered Beyoncé’s chances, this shouldn’t come into consideration if we’re talking purely about the music. Adele and Beyoncé were nominated side by side in four separate categories and in each one Adele walked away with the prize. While this is understandable for Record and Song of the year, as “Hello” is a better single song than the likes of “Formation” and “Hold Up”, Lemonade’s loss was the biggest of the night.

“It encapsulated what it felt like to be human, and what it felt like to feel underappreciated” This isn’t the first time the Recording Academy hasn’t awarded albums and artists that were the most deserving. Last year, they pulled practically the same stunt, awarding Taylor Swift the award for Best Album over the more deserving Kendrick Lamar for his album “To Pimp A Butterfly”, which is already considered a rap classic,

merely because it was political. Swift was pop’s queen, they thought; why not give her everything?

The Grammy voting process is quite complicated. The process begins with record companies and artists submitting works to be considered for nomination (famously this year, Frank Ocean decided not to submit either of his two albums for Grammy consideration).

Next, a group of 350 industry experts are given all albums and asked to consider which categories each album and songs fit, and what they should be considered for. This phase is not about the quality of the work, but the category in which it deserves to be considered for. Phase three involves first round ballots. Each member of the voting board is asked only to vote in their genre of expertise (They have a maximum of 15 sub-categories to vote for within each genre) and the 4 main prizes (Album, Record, Song, New Artist). The next phase, which can be the one that creates such controversies as the ones mentioned, is the special nominating committees. This is made up of all Academy members from the Academy’s chapter cities. These chapter cities are: Atlanta, Chicago, Florida, Los Angeles, Memphis, Nashville, New York, Pacific Northwest, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Texas and Washington, D.C. The final step in the voting process is similar to step three, except that each member is only given 5 nominees per category to choose from. Within this process, surely there is a way to stop this downright favouritism? It’s unclear where or when a change is going to appear, but until then we are stuck with unfair bias.

So the real question is, should we go into future Grammy’s looking not to be disappointed? No.

The Grammy’s are a reflection of the music industry as a whole, one-minded and one-sided. If you create the most buzz and sell the most records you win, no matter how good your piece of work is. Should we be surprised that that’s how it works?

Not really. Will I still give out about it next year? Definitely yes.

Interview

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ing and I want to do a bit more. I’ve done a few things this year where they’re sort of at pitch stage, so you just have to keep – I keep saying, fire out a hundred arrows and three might land, so I’m firing out as many arrows as I can.

I’ve draft one of a novel done, so that’s fiction; I’ve draft – draft, like, four or five or whatever of a one-woman show... and I have a pitch of a TV show. We’ll see what happens, and in the meantime, God, I’m hoping – Martin Scorsese is in town this week for the film festival. Hoping he’ll just swing by and say, “Tara, I’ve been meaning to run this part past you!”

Giving Out

Yards:

Lauren Mulvihill, Byline Editor As one of modern Ireland’s most successful actresses, comedians, writers and activists, Corkborn Tara Flynn has had an illustrious career that shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

We spoke to Tara about Morbegs, what it takes to make a living in the entertainment industry, and what we can do about the problems we face in Ireland in 2017.

L: I've been told specifically by my editor that I have to ask you about the Morbegs.

Any chance of a reunion?

T: I don’t think so, we’re all scattered to the wind!

But I did meet another Morbeg the other day, one who had been inside the suits, so we are sort of around the place. Yeah, there were dancers in the suits and then we would do the voice acting and we’d work the faces by remote control.. so I was Molly! There were two teams so that we could keep filming: there was one team would film from nine ‘til three in the day, and another team would film from three ‘til nine, and the next day the teams would swap, so the morning team would become the evening team. So, in blocks, we would just make shitloads of television.

L: And do you like doing the voice acting or do you like to be, I suppose, centre stage?

T: I love acting, I love doing theatre and love doing telly, but voice acting is another skill that I absolutely adore. It’s a different skill; it’s very, very different. You have to try and put your physicality into your voice, and Morbegs was different again because someone else was doing the physicality, so it’s a very strange one, but I love voice acting. I absolutely love it. Love doing radio, love doing voiceovers, love all that.

Interview with Tara Flynn

L: It sounds interesting! What are you working on currently? I saw that you do a column for HeadStuff (www.headstuff.org) at the moment.

T: Yeah, I do a HeadStuff column and I do that every week. I do a column for Irish Tatler every month. I’m writing a lot at the moment: I’m pitching a TV show and I’m hoping to act a lot more. It’s just something I absolutely love, and it’s something I backburner-ed when I focused on comedy. Now, I still get a lot of comedy work, because that is the skill that I have, but I love act-

L: Say in the interviews we do, we tend to talk to people about what they've done once they've gotten the part or once they've gotten the recording contract or whatever, so how would you suggest that people get into, say, writing for television or stage?

T: The thing is to just write. I mean, having been to LA a few times where they’re the kings and queens of getting their stuff out there – they have to, because there’s so much competition – if you want something, you’ll already be doing it in some capacity. You’ll be doing amateur dramatics in your own town, you’ll be in Dramat at college, or you’ll be writing anyway. Just keep writing, keep writing even if you throw it away. Write every day.... Basically what they’re doing now is, well, if you’re not already making it you obviously don’t care. A lot of things are getting picked up from online now... It takes a lot of resources; it takes getting friends together who can film it for you, or learning to use cameras yourself, but if you want it there are ways to get stories told and out there. My top tip is: do it anyway, don’t wait.

L: I like that, that's – what's the word I'm looking for? – inspiring!

T: Oh, God! Not me, I’m an eejit! I am a total mess, so don’t anyone be inspired by me.

L: You've gotten into activism recently. Did that kind of start with the marriage referendum, or had you been doing it before that as well?

T: I couldn’t point to a start. I’ve always been very private about my politics and what I think. Especially when your life is a little bit public, I always wanted to hold a bit of something back, and I still do that, believe it or not. No-one could guess my party politics; I don’t talk about it. You probably could, broadly, but I don’t talk about them.

There are loads of issues which I don’t speak out.

But what I thought was, with marriage equality, there were so many people with money doing sketches or making videos where it was just either non-facts or really insulting to people that I knew and loved, and I was like, ah listen. We can make a stab at that. So I parodied that and just pick apart the ridiculousness of some of the arguments. That was, I suppose, the first time I stepped up and said anything: that would have been the marriage equality referendum.

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Interview by Lauren Mulvihill Then, my husband is black and he got some racist abuse, so I made ‘Racist B&B’. It was cathartic for me, and it was something that – he didn’t want to go to the police and I just felt powerless to support him, so it was a way for me to support him through my own voice, through the way I work. Then because I was so admiring of people telling their own truths during the marriage equality referendum, even in the face of people lying about them and saying horrible things, I felt like a little bit of a liar not telling my own truth when it came to talk about Repeal the 8th.

So when Amnesty asked me to chair their – actually asked me to host – a ‘My Body, My Rights’ panel at Electric Picnic, I said, well, I have something to tell you and I wonder do you think this would be useful: I have some lived experience in this area, and I think it’s time to start saying that I have so that it would just stigma-bust. We all know this: we just won’t say it. We all know someone, we all knows lots of people that we watch on TV or that are on our bus or that are in our lectures – it’s happened to them already, or it could happen to them soon. We just all have agreed to play a part in colluding in this secret and this pretence that it doesn’t happen. It was about puncturing that and going, no, it does happen and it’s happened to me and it can happen to anyone. We need to start taking care of our pregnant people in this country, and not lying about it anymore. The activism came slowly but, I suppose, gradually.

People like ARC, the Abortion Rights Campaign, they really have to get a shout-out: they’ve been doing the brunt work for so long and making things happen and pushing for legislation and going over to the UN. They’ve done so much, and the Coalition to Repeal the 8th, of which Ailbhe Smyth is the convenor – they’ve done such amazing work and Ailbhe’s been doing it for forty years or more than forty years. She’s unreal. I mean, when I’m a ‘face’ all it is, is that I’ve put my face to the story. I’m not technically a campaigner in that way; I’m a campaigner in that I will tell my story and that I have a bit of a profile, and it does affect my life, and of course I’ve had to get more political: I’ve had to stand up for myself, I’ve had to take a bollocking, I’ve had to do all that…. I go to open meetings when I can, but I didn’t join ARC, I didn’t join Amnesty… part of that was because I feel like, as an individual, someone lashes out at me and I want to lash back because it is so personal. I don’t know that I can be an impartial spokesperson, so I don’t think I’m useful in that way... I am eternally in awe of, and grateful to, ARC and to all their branches, and to the Coalition, even in terms of support. Amnesty, too.

The support they’ve given me when things have gotten tough, even though I’m not technically a member, has been just phenomenal and the support they give to pregnant people every day – they’re incredible, just incredible, and I really need to give them all the props.

Tara Flynn campaigning for Repeal the 8th L: It's another interesting thing, actually – you left Twitter a few weeks ago, didn't you?

T: Yeah, I left for nearly a month.

L: If you want to talk a little bit about why you did it, or what Twitter could do to prevent abuse?

T: I can’t answer that, really. All I know is what I can do to make myself safe, and what I did after the Christmas break wasn’t just – y’know, trolls are trolls, and if they have access, they’re going to come out. I’ve always rationalised that, like, from day one on Twitter: you open a door to a beautiful vista, and a few slugs will get in.... All I wanted to do on Twitter is start having a say more, and I noticed around the world several comedians have gotten way more serious because the stuff that’s happening at the moment to basic humanity and decency is far too serious to be funny. But I went onto Twitter to share cat videos and jokes, that’s it.

L: Considering that you've done the videos about marriage equality or Racist B&B, what do you think of comedy itself as a political tool, if you get me? You do find that comedians are getting a bit more political.

T: I actually wrote a HeadStuff column about this recently. I have fallen out of love with satire, and it used to be something I loved to watch. It just leaves me a bit cold at the moment, [but] I’m sure that’s a phase. I think one of satire’s bits of power was puncturing the powerful, and at the moment the powerful don’t seem puncturable. The things they are doing are ludicrous, so there’s no point pointing out the ludicrousness if everyone can see it...Then, I find at the moment satire only just reinforces negativity and it’s not activism and you’re not changing anything if you’re just sniping from the sidelines. I’m not sure that’s a good function either.

I’m not finding it entertaining, which should be comedy’s main thing whether it’s satire or just pure craic – it should be making you laugh, and at the moment satire is just making me sad. Secondly, I don’t find it constructive. It’s not offering a solution, and if it’s not punctur-

ing or offering a solution I just wonder what that’s about, then. I’m… watching more stuff at the moment and reading more stuff by people of colour, by LGBT people. I kind of think at the moment we need to really focus on the work and what’s being said or has been said for feckin’ years until privileged, white, straight, cis people caught up by people who are marginalised, and so I’m more interested at the moment in terms of...being informed and in hearing voices that I haven’t heard enough of. Like I said in the HeadStuff piece, I don’t want to watch a guy in a suit impersonate a guy in a suit who’s lying anyway.

L: How do you find that we're doing in Ireland on that front, on the intersectionality in entertainment? I feel like we're very much stuck in the last century.

T: We are definitely stuck, we’re stuck. When you mention intersectionality, it’s still kind of laughed at – people poo-pooing it and, even in our media, they still use ‘SJWs’ as a derogatory term and it’s like, would you ever fuck off? Are you seeing what’s happening to marginalised people? There is real threat and danger and either you’re on the side of social justice, or you’re not. Proud SJW, a n d piss off – bite me!

I think intersectionality is the only way forward, it’s the only way for proper inclusion. It’s the only way to not engage in tokenism and still holding su-

premacy and not addressing equality properly.

I’m really interested in the moment, and I’m questioning myself about it: how do people who have the mouthpiece step aside now and give people who need the mic, the mic? That’s way more interesting to me right now than.. hearing someone that hasn’t a fucking clue pontificating about race issues... That discourse hasn’t been had here, and you’re seen as radical for having it... you see the anger of people who think equality is taking from them, because they should have all the privilege. We’re way behind, but here’s the difference – because the women living in Ireland are all oppressed, because we’re all unequal and we’re second-class citizens, we’ve a chance to park our privilege and go “we’re all in this together, we can fight this,” and our allies there with us, be they male or non-binary or be they all colours and genders and creeds: we have a chance to go, OK, we are far behind, but we can bring up the rear and overtake from the back.

Tara Flynn is currently performing with Dublin Comedy Improv, with shows taking place every Monday.

Her latest book, “Giving Out Yards”, is available now, and you can find her on Twitter @TaraFlynn.

GAMING

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Upcoming Releases

Digital Homicide Commits Digital Suicide

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Anecdotally, it seems like the average person has no idea that Nintendo is even releasing a new console, so I feel like the Switch is going to live or die based on whether or not people want to play a new Zelda game. Seems like a fine way to launch a console.

NieR: Automata While I had had my eye on this game for awhile, the thing that finally got me to buy it was a video of the director rolling around on the ground wearing a skull mask telling me to buy it. Seriously, though, the game looks great.

Danganronpa 1.2 Reload Want to play games about high school students forced to kill each other so that a sentient teddy bear doesn’t kill them? Sure you do, it’s great craic. Japan is crazy.

Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands I’ll always kind of like this game purely based on that awesome transition in the initial E3 reveal trailer where a blood-soaked mound of cocaine turned into a rain-soaked hill.

It was really great.

The game l o o k s okay. It won’t sell.

Jonathan Soltan, Gaming Editor

It feels like every year, the videogame scene gets dirtier and dirtier. As is the case with literally everything, it’s hard to tell whether or not this is actually so, or if all the nastiness and vitriol has simply become more readily apparent due to the widespread proliferation of the internet.

It’s probably mostly the latter but I do feel that the spread of the internet and the ability of people to interact with someone on the other side of the world at the click of a button has lead to people being a bit more prickly in general.

This prickliness lead to a game development studio (and I use that term loosely) named Digital Homicide taking serious issue to a video made by noted game critic Jim Sterling on his Youtube channel. If it feels like you’ve heard about this before, it’s because you probably have. This whole fiasco started in late 2014 but has only wrapped up in the last couple of weeks.

For those of you not in the know, let old Uncle Johnny tell you a tale; a tale of an overweight British man who made a Youtube video making fun of a poorly made game, and the company that made said game taking it far, far too personally.

When Digital Homicide released their bland, generic zombie shooter The Slaughtering Grounds onto Steam in October of 2014, it was but one of many shovelware games at that

time due to Valve’s almost nonexistent quality control (a problem that has only gotten worse since then, by the way). By sheer chance, the popular game critic noticed the game and decided to make a video about it. In the video, he criticises the game in a comical fashion, pointing out the poor character models, physics, aiming, textures... pretty much poor everything. It’s not a great game. Normally, in this situation, the developers would take their lumps and maybe fix some of the larger issues or maybe just cut their losses and move onto trying to make a better game. Not so in this situation.

Firstly, the developers deleted negative reviews of the game on their Steam forum, as well as banning anyone who left negative comments. When Sterling pointed this out to people, Digital Homicide responded by filing a copyright claim on his video, even though criticism is covered under fair use.

So far, this is all just shady and petty, but in 2016 it developed into a full-blown meltdown.

In March of 2016, James Romine, one of the founders of Digital Homicide, filed a lawsuit against Sterling for “assault, libel and slander.” He was seeking damages to the tune of $10m, later upped to $15m.

Not content with taking on one man, Romine filed a lawsuit in September against 100 Steam users citing “personal injury” and seeking damages to the tune of $18m.

Again, this was not enough for Romine as he followed that by subpoenaing Valve for

the identities of those users.

This, however, was the straw that broke the camel’s back as Valve promptly removed Digital Homicide’s entire catalogue of 21 “games” from Steam due to Digital Homicide being “hostile to Steam customers.”

Romine then dropped his lawsuit against the Steam users.

Little else was heard about the ongoing battle with Sterling until just this past week when Sterling revealed that his lawyer had convinced Romine to drop the lawsuit with prejudice, meaning that he cannot pursue the lawsuit again.

All in all, it’s a somewhat amusing but mostly sad situation. Not only did it appear to have caused Sterling no small amount of stress and inconvenience, but it is abundantly clear from the events that Romine may have some personal issues that he desperately needs to work out, preferably far away from the public eye.

The one good thing to come out of all of this, though, is that this case is a much needed win for free speech in a time where it doesn’t seem to be in vogue. What artists and creators need to realise is that people can criticise your work. You may not think they’re right, and they might even be assholes about it (as Sterling sometimes is) but that’s not illegal. On the flip side, though, it’s not illegal for you to call them an asshole, either. And I think we should all be able to live with that.

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gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan

Countdown to Andromeda: Combat Showcase Kieran Barrett – Gaming Writer

The 600 year expedition to the Andromeda Galaxy is almost over as the launch of Mass Effect: Andromeda is less than a month away. As our long journey draws to a close, new details have emerged about the game’s combat and class system.

As Scott or Sarah Ryder, players will assume the mantle of The Pathfinder and venture forth to find a new home for humanity, in a galaxy where you take on the role of the alien amid hostile environments. As you progress, the mysteries of the Andromeda Galaxy will begin to unravel and new enemies will emerge, thus the player will have to rely upon the extensive combat system to progress with their mission. As someone who has recently played through the original Mass Effect trilogy to re-immerse myself in the world, the new gameplay style of Andromeda looks to be a refreshing change to the formula. As I replayed Mass Effect 1 through 3, Commander Shepard began to feel clunky and sluggish to control, though it seems that Mass Effect: Andromeda affords players free movement and fastpaced action.

A new key feature which is introduced is the

jetpack, and as the combat trailer shows, it gives The Pathfinder the ability to move unrestricted through the battlefield, enabling sleek combos and explosive aerial assaults.

Ryder can dash around enemies to survey the battlefield from a different viewpoint, allowing the player the safety of cover in the midst of fire. The movement system is integrated with the game’s extensive skill tree and classes, empowering the player with supernatural Biotic and Technical skills. “Biotics” use implants and brain augmentations to “knock enemies over from a distance, lift them into the air, generate gravitational vortices to tear obstacles or

enemies apart, or create protective barriers,” as is stated on the Mass Effect Wiki.

This is just one of the many class abilities available in the game; as others, like the Technician, grant the ability to hack robotic enemies as well as deploy personal combat drones, offering a completely different play style. These classes can be combined as well as altered on the fly, so you can adequately prepare for every situation.

specialising in one or two of the following weapon types; pistols, shotguns, assault rifles, and sniper rifles. The choice was dependent on the class of your character as, for example, the Adept or “Biotic Specialist” class was restricted to the use of heavy pistols, to accompany their Biotic abilities. Andromeda is different in this regard, as characters are not limited based on their class and will not be forced to fully commit to a single weapon type. This degree of customisabiliThe game retains the weapon load-outs ty is a welcome addition to the Mass Effect from the original trilogy, though it shakes universe and the Combat Trailer showcases off a few of the restrictive elements from how a more diverse system could fundathe past. Previously, players were limited to mentally improve the experience.

Biggest Nintendo Switch Games Coming This Year Kieran Barrett, Gaming Writer

it marks the fourth “launch” of the game, having already had a “legendary” and “speThe Nintendo Switch launches worldwide cial” edition, after the initial release back in this Friday, March 3rd, and these are some 2011. We know what we’re getting with this of the marquee releases we can expect in the one, and more Skyrim is never a bad thing console’s debut year. in my eyes. Skyrim is the type of game that you never want to stop playing, and now The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild you don’t have to as you can now take it with - The biggest installment in the Legend of you wherever you go!

Zelda franchise to date is a launch title for Nintendo’s new console, and will surely be a Super Mario Odyssey – Not much is catalyst if the Switch is to succeed early on. known about this Super Mario Title, other The game looks visually stunning and the than the glimpses of the game we received gameplay looks fun and interactive, seem- back in October, and the gameplay trailingly affording players multiple approach- er shown off during the Nintendo Switch es to combat and exploration. Considering Reveal event back in January. This time the scarcity of launch titles for the Switch, around, Mario finds himself in a variety there is a lot riding on Link and Co.’s shoul- of totally new settings, many of which are ders. based on the real world. The trailer showed an urban area (hilariously named New The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – With Donk City), a dense forest, a shanty town Skyrim coming to the Nintendo Switch, and plenty of other locales ripe for explora-

tion by everyone’s favourite plumber. Wa- to Diamond and Pearl. A common comhoo! plaint with Pokémon Sun and Moon is that they don’t run smoothly on the older modMario Kart 8 Deluxe – Mario Kart 8 is els of the 3DS due to the higher resolution receiving a makeover to bring it into the models and textures. Apparently, this was world of the Switch with this enhanced due to Game Freak developing the game for version, which admittedly looks stunning. easy porting over to the Switch. The main The game which can tear friendships apart attraction the Switch has is the ability to be through the use of just one tactical blue shell able to take games on the go, but I’m excited can now be played on the go for the first to have a main series Pokémon game playtime without the use of one of Nintendo’s able on my TV at home. previous handhelds. The fact that the Nintendo Switch Joy-Cons allow for local mul- Other notable releases include Minecraft, tiplayer at any time and any place is a great Dragon Quest XI, Project Sonic 2017, Fire asset for this iconic racing game.

Emblem Switch, Splatoon 2, Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Shin Megami Tensei, Arms Pokémon 'Stars' – Ok, so this game hasn’t and 1-2 Switch. Not all of the games listed officially been announced, but Nintendo have a set release date and I wouldn’t be surhave confirmed a Pokémon game is in the prised to see some delays. Overall, the Ninworks for the Switch. Expect this game to tendo Switch seems to have a much stronbe what Pokémon Emerald was to Ruby and ger lineup than the Wii U did at launch, and Sapphire, or what Pokémon Platinum was the only way is up from there.

fashion

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Say Goodbye to your Adidas Runners Iris Maher- Style Editor The throwback runner of 2016 was definitely the classic ‘Stan Smiths’. They are still everywhere and seem to be multiplying at an alarming rate on campus.

But fear not. Runners are still as big as ever but will now be replaced by the Nike Cortez. I’ve seen them on quite a few influencers last year, but I predict this will be their year.

The Nike Cortez runners are simple in design but for the signature tick at the side. Of course, they come in a variety of colours.

Perhaps you shouldn’t bin your Adidas runners just yet, but the Nike Cortez runners are coming!

Ethical Fashion Iris Maher, Style Editor

Even as an avid buyer of clothing, I have not put much thought into where the clothes come from or whether they are ethically produced or not. Even when I do begin to consider the idea, it is difficult for me to research as I’m afraid of what I might find: whether my morals will suddenly come into question or not when I’m shopping in my local high street haunts.

Does ethical fashion consider the implications of business on the environment, but also the human aspect?

Fashion and the clothing industry is creating trends at an alarming rate, with the shops attempting to keep up. The rise of ‘fast fashion’ has led to cheaper clothing and the disposal of old clothes that are not ‘in style’ anymore. As clothes are now so inexpensive, I do not tend to feel guilty about not wearing something as often as I maybe should, if I wear it at all.

Many items I have bought in the spur of the moment in a sale still have the price tag on them, still lying in the back of my wardrobe. Nevermind the money wasted, so many other things need to be put into perspective: the labour involved in making that one item, the transportation costs, and the environmental impact of the production and transportation involved.

Back in the day (or my parents’ day at least) clothes were considered more of a necessity than a want. Clothes also seemed to be far more expensive back then. A good pair of jeans was supposed to last you for years, not just a few months or weeks. For those interested in fashion today, it has never been easier to buy more and more: you don’t even have to leave the house.

To look ‘fashionable’ these days does not entail buying the most expensive or designer/ high end clothing. The high end trends are mimicked and quickly reproduced for high street brands in record timing.

manufacturing in the same buildings as high street brands.

Workers from other manufacturing companies began to demand safer working conditions in the industrial areas of Dhaka, Chittagong and Gazipur. Despite its high profile status at the time, issues surrounding the safety of workers has not been circulated in mainstream media.

Many clothing websites now have a section declaring that they are an ethical company with regards to the working conditions of their workers. Many adhere to the ‘Ethical Trading Initiative’s (Respect for Workers Worldwide) base code, In terms of the environment, Greenpeace which outlines nine key points: argues that fast fashion is having a detrimental impact. From the water needed to “No forced labour, freedom of associa- make clothes to the hazardous chemicals tion, healthy and safe working condi- used to dye them, ‘Every piece of clothing tions, no child labour, living wages are we buy has had an impact on our planet paid, working hours are not excessive, before we even bring it home’ (Greenno discrimination is practised, regular peace 2016). employment is provided, and no harsh or inhumane treatment is allowed.”

It is difficult to research the working conIf you pay more for an item, though, are ditions of labourers creating the clothes you guaranteed that it will be ethically Issues of ethical fashion came to the at- for many of our beloved shops. Do we produced? There is an assumption cirtention of world news in 2013 with the trust the statements given by these comculating that because you are paying a collapse of a garment factory building panies? Or even worse, do we care? And couple of euro for an item that it can not in Bangladesh, known as the ‘Rana Pla- if we do care how do we, on an individual possibly be produced thoroughly ethicalza Collapse’. The factory manufactured level, begin to help solve these problems? ly. Many luxury brands still source their clothes for many high street brands.

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FASHION Editors - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe and Iris Maher

Staples of style:

SUITS, THE PEAK OF MENSWEAR

Kenneth Nwaezeigwe aka @dapper_sapeur

camel coat. It’s seems like everyone could not get enough of the coat which prior to Welcome back to the style section of the ex- this year would only have been seen on the press. This week I want to take a look at the streets of central London. essential items that we can’t live without in our wardrobes. Everyone has their own sta- The Fitted Suit: ple that they think is an utter necessity so if According to an article in GQ magazine you think I’ve left something out then drop ‘a beautifully tailored, accessorized, and styled suit is still the peak of menswear.’ The an email to fashion@uccexpress.ie thing about suits is that anyone can wear a suit but not all suits are meant to be in your The Overcoat: As with many contemporary staples, it’s wardrobe. The staple suit I’m talking about difficult to pinpoint exactly when the over- is the one that makes you feel on top of the coat first emerged. Several online accounts world, the suit that when you walk into a name 1772 as the year the overcoat was in- room, guys clutch their girlfriends a little vented, while others claim the early 19th bit closer because they know that you’re century was when they really came into radiating confidence and charisma. I’m their own. Regardless, usage of the word it- talking about a tailored fitted suit or at a slightly lesser level a slim-fit suit, the suit I self dates back to the late 18th century.

While designers are constantly re-imag- have in mind is one that hugs you in all the ining the overcoat, adding elbow patches, right places. applique details, contrast velvet collars and “Putting on formal clothes makes us feel raglan shoulders, there are two main styles: powerful, and that changes the basic way we see the world,” says Abraham Rutchick, double-breasted and single-breasted. an author of the study and a professor of Single-breasted versions are more minimal psychology at California State University, and clean, enabling them to be paired with Northridge. Rutchick and his co-authors everything from your nine-to-five suits to a found that wearing clothing that’s more jeans and Oxford shirt combination at the formal than usual makes people think weekend. Double-breasted overcoats, on more broadly and holistically, rather than the other hand, have a formidable air of tra- narrowly and about fine-grained details. In dition about them and are best paired with psychological parlance, wearing a suit encourages people to use abstract processing full-on tailoring. more readily than concrete processing.

The most notable overcoat style and colour from A/W 16 would have to be the classic

Smart shoes: Shoes have become an important part of

““Putting on formal clothes makes us feel powerful, and that changes the basic way we see the world,”” our everyday lives. Shoes were originally designed to protect our feet from cold weather, sharp objects, and uncomfortable surfaces. However, having a classic shoe wardrobe is just as important as having a great closet filled with clothes and accessories in today’s society.

There is nothing that will make you look more stylish and give you a confidence boost like a nice pair of shoes. Every man needs a few pairs of great dress shoes for the unavoidable occasions that will call for them. If you’re a man who knows how important quality dress shoes are, then you probably don’t need to read further.

But for everyone else, this may be one of the most important fashion articles you read.

What you have on your feet can make or break any look. It doesn’t matter if you have the most amazing suit in the world, if y o u have

around in a puddle of m u d .

Shoes can get expensive, but if you’re smart about your choice, you’ll be able to wear them for years. Not o n l y that,

but the confidence you get every time you put them on will be well worth the price. bad shoes, y o u might as well roll

Whether for business or for that hot date, nothing will make you look more successful or sexy. Get yourself a pair of high-quality shoes and tell me if you don’t get compliments.

Humour

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Weather: First man-in-shorts of the season spotted in Patrick’s Street earlier this week as Irish temperatures skyrocket to nearly ten degrees celsius.

Interdimensional Portal Found in the O’Rahilly Building

Politics: Enda Kenny reveals retirement plans to get “totally fucking plastered” before stepping down as leader of Fine Gael near St.Patrick’s day.

Health: Cannabis legalisation imminent as record numbers of Irish mammies go pro-ganja after watching informative Facebook videos.

Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor

Cork Couple Find Love In Unexpected Way Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor

Film and Television: Reports say Academy Award judging panel ‘still in shock’ after ground-breaking discovery that it’s not just white people who make good movies.

It was with great pleasure last week that John and Mary Kavanagh announced the engagement of their only daughter, April Kavanagh, to Jordan McIntyre of Ballinlough.

Travel: Lonely Planet release plans to publish new book: ‘10 most exciting planets to visit if you want to get off of this one’.

This exciting announcement came as a result of a whirlwind romance which began little over two months ago when Jordan and April met for the first time, after he loudly beeped his car horn at her as she walked down the South Douglas Road with some friends.

Fashion: Go even further with your vintage attire by wearing this season’s hottest trend: the loincloth.

TV Listings RTÉ, Sunday, 10am, Catching Up with the Coughlans: RTÉ makes more cringe-worthy attempts at creating another Relatable Irish Version of hit U.S. TV show.

Next Week: Riverdance Moms.

chocolates... but these days, with the rise of social media, you’ve got to make your advances direct and aggressive.

Women these days are so busy, they’re constantly like, going about their own lives and stuff, so you’ve really got to go that extra mile to grab their attention.”

I ask Jordan what it was about April that made him notice her and compelled him to beep as he drove past. He admits sheepishly: “To be honest, I just saw some yoga pants in the distance, which was a dead giveaway that there were females up ahead. That’s usually enough for me to start beeping. But once I saw “It did come as a bit of a shock,” said April, that gorgeous face, those eyes... it April of the couple’s first meeting. “I made me beep just that bit harder.” mean, it was two o’clock in the afternoon, so I wasn’t really expecting to be April’s family say that they are delightharassed so early in the day. But, when ed that their daughter has found such it happened... I just got such a thrill. Get- an upstanding man to share her life ting beeped at just gave me such a boost with, but this sentiment is not shared of confidence. And then, I saw his Opel by everybody. Friends who were with Corsa pull up at the side of the curb, and Rachel on the fateful day she met her out stepped my knight in shining ar- soon-to-be-husband say that they bemour.” She smiles adoringly up at her lieve Jordan to be a “massive creep” and fiancée. say they are “really weirded out by this entire situation”. The happy couple, “I just got such a thrill. however, seem determined not to let Getting beeped at just the nay-sayers ruin their special day. gave me such a boost Especially, Jordan says, “that girl from VooDoo who says she saw me cheating. of confidence..”

I can confirm that that was definitely Jordan looks at me and smiles, “They not me.” say chivalry is dead, but I think it’s just evolved over the years. It used to be all We wish April and Jordan all the best in about the courting, the flowers, the their new life together.

It was confirmed by the European Space Agency earlier this week that an interdimensional portal has been found inside the O’Rahilly Building.

The portal, which was discovered by maintenance workers in early December, is being touted as the cause of nearly eighty student disappearances since the O’Rahilly Building was first built in the early 1990’s.

“I wouldn’t say it’s totally shocking,” said Jan Woerner, General Director of the ESA, in his statement last Tuesday, “I mean, while this is the first interdimensional portal to ever be discovered, with the amount of peculiarities reported within the building: student disappearances, endless rooms with a sometimes nonsensical numbering system, obscure corridors that only ever lead to more obscure corridors... it was likely that there was always something weird going on in there.”

One of the maintenance workers credited with discovering the portal, Tom Coughlan, says he is extremely proud to be a part of such a groundbreaking discovery: “I’m a massive fan of Stranger Things, so this is really big for me.”

It has been rumoured also that this may not be the only interdimensional portal in UCC. Some students frequenting the Western Gateway Building claim to have recently found another portal leading to the gates of Hell. Though this has not been confirmed, it would provide some explanation as to why the fire alarm goes off literally every single day. Representatives of UCC’s Board of Management have denied to comment on these claims.

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HUMOUR Editor - Sarah ryan

The Horror of Christ: Terrifying Nuns, Catholicism and Me.

“

“

The door opened. She had arrived. The five-foot-nothing Angel of Death with a bad arthritis problem.

Rachel McInerney, Humour Writer

Despite being raised in a staunchly Roman Catholic household, I knew from a very early age that Catholicism didn’t want me, and I didn’t want it. If you fancy yourself a bit of a psychoanalyst, you could probably trace this realisation back to a certain childhood trauma in about 2005, when my grandmother thought, in her naivety, that Song for a Raggy Boy was perfectly acceptable viewing material for a seven-year-old.

Anyway, so began my tumultuous relationship with the Catholic Church. This year is the first year of my educational life that I have not been in attendance at an all-girls Catholic school, and I’d go as far as to say that the nuns are as glad to see the back of me as I am to see the back of them. You see, not only do I not like being a Catholic, I’m also really bad at it. Terrible. In primary school, I missed the part of Communion practice where we learned The Apostle’s Creed.

So, every year during our family’s annual Christmas pilgrimage to the local church, I provide some low-level background mumbling noise while it’s being said. I am that person who stands when we’re all supposed to kneel, and sets off a wave of panic that ripples through the entire congregation.

I’m also still very confused as to whether I’m meant to take my Communion in my hands or if I’m supposed to let some strange octogenarian who may or may not have washed their hands recently insert what is apparently the two thousand-ish year old corpse of Our Lord and Saviour into my mouth (as someone who finds it difficult

to eat yogurt that’s a few days old, I hold the belief that Jesus’ body should also be held to Bórd Bia health standards, and have a sellby date).

There’s a tradition in my old school that once a week, two members of the Student Council stand up on the stage at morning assembly and give the announcements and say a prayer. The whole school is meant to join in and it’s all very Kumbaya. One lovely February morning, myself and another member of the Student Council were told that it was show time, our morning to get up in front of roughly 300 people and say the prayer. Having nothing prepared, we decided that she’d take the announcements and I’d do the most basic prayer known to Christianity, The Hail Mary. Fast forward to me, on stage: “Hail Mary, full of grace,” I say. I do not say anything else. Again: “Hail Mary, full of grace,” I stop. There is a collective intake of breath as everyone realises that one of the most senior girls in a convent school does not know the rest of The Hail Mary on her own. I look into the furious and unforgiving eyes of my principal, little Sister Joseph, and reflected in them I see my soul leave my body and descend into hell, damned for all eternity with the unmarried mothers and the prostitutes.

Sr. Joseph, despite being tiny, devoted to a religion that promotes peace, love and acceptance and also being mildly hindered when walking by her fondness for kitten heels, was not someone you wanted to piss off. And now she had pegged me for a heathen, and there would be no escaping her wrath until it was decided I was an up-

standing Catholic. My whole class was made to atone for my sins. Religion class would no longer be a doss class despite being non-exam Religion, and would be taught by another fierce Catholic by the name of Mr. Twomey.

Over the coming weeks, however, my class, full of fellow covert atheists and people who on principle alone believed it to be a human rights infringement not to have Religion as a doss class, became restless. We became bolder, louder and in general more fed up with Bible passages, until Mr. Twomey, at his breaking point, slammed the door on his way out of our classroom as he went to get the more formidable Sr. Joseph to deal with us.

the Immaculate Conception?” I mumbled a yes from within the darkness of my crossed arms. “Now,” she said. “We all know the story of the Immaculate Conception and the birth of Jesus Christ, but one thing we never think about is the danger, the risk that Mary took.” I sat completely still, thoroughly fucking bricking it, as her sickly-sweet and chillingly calm voice continued near me: “We must remember, you see, what it would have meant to be Mary in her own time. Back then, do you know what would have happened to Mary; an impregnated, I heard my doom stalking up the hallway, disgraced, unmarried girl?” Her voice apthe click-clack-click-clack of kitten heels peared behind me. “She would have been that would turn your blood cold. The door stoned to death.” Silence. opened. She had arrived. The five-footnothing Angel of Death with a bad arthritis The silence continued for approximately problem. one minute, until: “Rachel, please stand.”

She gave my name, along with a few others, Stand I did. “Now, if you could say The Hail to be called in for individual questioning. I Mary for me, please.” was led into her office and there, we locked eyes. She began the interrogation but Sr. So, there I was, all but shitting myself Joseph, not one for fucking around, quick- in front of a terrifyingly vengeful nun, ly realised that questioning alone will not asking Mother Mary to pray for me suffice as disciplinary action here. “Rachel, in the hour of my death which at the please put your head down on the table,” time, seemed to be drawing alarmingshe said. I did so, heart going ninety and ly near. It was on this day that I knew, my brain, melodramatic as always, giving truly knew, that Catholicism was not me some nice Raggy Boy flashbacks that for me, because literally what the fuck. thoroughly set my Catholophobia in stone. I still get the shivers walking past the A pause. “Rachel, do you know the story of African Missions.

Fiction

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FICTION Editor - Sophie Mckenzie

May Lauren Mulvihill, Byline Editor

There was a buzz radiating from a lightbulb overhead. There was that, and the distant rumble of the ice machine in the kitchen. It was November.

The only thing that could properly be seen was the staircase. Even then, just the last few steps. The bulb was dying. The green carpet looked like moss under the brownish-yellow of the dim light while it flickered and flickered and got dimmer and hummed.

There was a click, and the ice machine went silent, before rumbling back to life again.

It was just constant noise. It made the silence even more unbearable.

The keys to the dining room, lying precariously on a corner of the front desk, began to slip. It started slowly, and then all at once – a shrill ‘clink’ against the tiles on the ground, which seemed to echo slightly until the reverberation of the lightbulb swallowed the sound. The newest addition to that cluster of keys, a car key that was rarely used, glinted against the last sliver of light it could find, whereas the other keys (the front door, the kitchen, the third-floor bedroom that hadn’t been slept in since May) lay in dull darkness. The foyer was like an artist’s painting, for all the world: the light fading from yellow, to brown, to blue, in a strangely seamless way. It didn’t blend well with the carpet. Maybe at one time, everything worked: when there were flowers and photographs and people in nice clothes to offset the brown and the blue and the yellow. It

was a sickly yellow. Bile-yellow.

ficult to tell the time by it nowadays, even after fifteen years – as far as he could tell, There were still a few photographs here and it was half five. It was already dark outside. there. In the dining room, once upon a time, He used to enjoy the winter; now he just sat, they would pull out all the tables and chairs and thought about May. and now! A dance floor. Sometimes, they’d find a camera, and they’d take photos of He thought about May, and he thought all the people as they swished their way about the staircase. The centre of each step through this birthday and that anniversary sagged ever so slightly under the worn, or some small wedding celebration. They’d green carpet following years of treading by hang the photos up on the wall, in cheap the feet of guests. They came from all over frames. Most of them were taken down the world at one stage, but they always chose after May. Some were taken away as gifts, to walk right up the centre of the staircase. some were boxed up and thrown under the He used to hate it, and would complain that stairs. There was one that still hung over the they were ruining the carpet (which he had fireplace. never liked, anyway) and the staff would say you’re right, John, I don’t understand it, eiThe buzzing of the lightbulb overhead built ther. I don’t know, John, maybe we should to a crescendo, and within a single blink it put up a sign. They didn’t really care either was gone. The room was shades of blue. The way. He wasn’t entirely sure why he really falling of the keys had apparently masked cared. Then, he stopped caring. He stopped the end of the ice machine’s labours, be- shouting when the kids ran up and down cause that was gone all at once, too. Then, to their rooms at all hours, and he stopped all he could hear was his own breathing. He caring when their parents bumped their reached his arm out, and flicked the switch suitcases off the edge of each step. He didn’t on the table lamp. He saw himself reflected need to care anymore; he was happy. It was in the windows of the double doors in front May. of him; he saw the corner of the photograph above his head (the black shoes he wore the And now it was twenty to six and all he day he got married, and at every occasion could hear was the rise and fall of his own since). He lowered his eyes. breath and what sounded like a car pulling up outside. That used to be a familiar With his lowered eyes, he finally looked at sound; his was the only bed and breakfast in his watch. It was an old thing, something he town, and there was a bell over the door that had found in a jewellers about fifteen years would ring when the guests came through. before: it had a silver strap and a plain face During winter and summer, the bell rang that was slightly water-damaged. There almost continuously, and before May he were no numbers, only lines marking would stress and he would smoke but then twelve, three, six and nine. He found it dif- they had music playing and flowers in the

window and Christmas-tree lights (and a hallway full of photographs that now lay under the stairs) and he was still, as always, quiet, but nothing else was, and he was happy. From the corner of his eye, he saw a face peer through the frosted glass of the front door.

It was almost quarter to six, and back then, this would have been dinnertime. For any guests who didn’t make the journey into town, he offered a simple meal – soup followed by chicken followed by ice cream, maybe – and he would sit and listen and laugh along while they all talked together because he was always quiet but May, before she died, was followed by a hum of noise wherever she went and it was that noise that kept him going. They would sit at the bar with the guests until the guests all went to bed, and then they would eat, and they would walk together to the thirdfloor bedroom that he didn’t visit anymore and they wouldn’t say a word, because the guests were sleeping. It was an entirely different kind of silence, and it was that kind that he missed.

There was a rap on the front door.

“We’re closed,” J o h n

food

2929

FOOD Editor - Xander Cosgrave

Pancakes Done Easy (Irish Mammy style)

Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

Serves; two to three people, or one person if you’re in the doghouse with the missus.

What you need; A frying pan, a spatula, a 5. bowl for mixing, whisks or an electric mixer, a sieve.

Ingredients; 100g of plain flour, two large eggs, 300ml milk, sunflower or vegetable oil, salt.

6.

Extras; Whatever you want to put on the pancakes. Classic toppings include sugar, lemon juice, golden or maple syrup, nutella, peanut butter, bananas, whipped cream. I also sometimes either grate some chocolate over it or break a Cadbury’s Flake over it.

Some people also like putting ice-cream on these, or some stewed apple, but I think that 7. over complicates pancakes a bit much.

This recipe also works for savoury pancakes, if you want, so feel free to substitute any of these for...erm...ham? I’ve never had savoury 8. pancakes.

Tips; If you or your guests are celiacs, you 9. can easily swap out the plain flour for gluten-free self-raising flour.

How to; 1. First grab your bowl. Should be a big mixing bowl, your classic cereal bowl ain’t going to cut it here. Pour the flour into the bowl through the sieve.

This should create a little mountain of sieved flour in your bowl. Add a pinch or two of salt to the flour (trust me) 2. With your finger (or a spoon, I guess, if you’re afraid of getting your hands a little dirty, you nerd) make a volcano-esque crater in your flour mountain. Crack the eggs into this crater, then adding the milk on top of this.

3. Making sure you’re not wearing any dark clothing, start to whisk/mix the ingredients. You want to mix it until it it’s fluid, but not too watery. If it’s too watery, add more flour.

4. Put your pan on the hob, turning on the heat. You can either put the oil directly on the pan, or pour it into a paper towel ball & then rub

that on the pan. Either way, don’t use too much oil. Heat the oil a bit, spread it evenly on the pan, then pour some of the mixture in. Spread the mixture evenly among the pan.

After about 30 seconds the pancake will start to cook. Keep prodding at the edges with the spatula, and as it becomes more cooked try to make sure it doesn’t stick to the pan.

When the bottom side is cooked (you can tell this because you can move the pancake freely on the pan, as long as it’s not stuck to the pan) it’s time to flip it.

If you’re not confident in your flipping abilities, put a plate over the pan, turn the pan over then put the now-flipped pancake on the pan from the plate using your spatula. To be honest, though, you should try flip it at least once for the craic.

Once both sides are evenly cooked, move to a serving plate (not the one you used to flip it, if you wussed out) and add the requisite toppings.

Keep going until the mixture runs out, or you’re full.

In my experience, you may need to make up some more batter, but you can always pre-prepare the batter by mixing it together, pouring it into an empty milk jug and storing in the fridge (though do make sure to give it a mix before you use again).

Other tips; This method is aimed around the ‘conveyor belt’ method of serving, in that you kind-of give people one pancake at a time, as opposed to the American ‘fat stacks’ style. Also, if you’re looking for some light crepes, this is not the recipe for you.

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ISSUE 10 | UCC SExpress

SEXPRESS

31

Safe sexting or digital abstinence?

Unlikely Erogenous Zones Ears: It’s long been said that the ears are an erogenous zone for both men and women. Biting, licking or nibbling at the ears can be a massive turn on for some people, though it still remains scientifically unknown as to why.

Feet: The feet are said to be a massive pleasure point, the soles of the feet for men and the toes for women. But, as someone who finds the thought of someone touching my feet absolutely revolting, I think it would be best to see if your partner has issue with you touching their feet in an erotic manner before you start licking their toes, just saying.

Nose: Fun fact, the nose is composed of erectile tissue. Time to do some eskimo kisses.

Belly Button: The bellybutton, or navel, grows from the common tissue of sexual organs. For some, touching the navel can have a nice sensation, but for other people it makes them feel like they need to pee. I guess you’ll just have to try it to find out.

Lips: I feel like a lot of you know would already know this as most of us enjoy kissing. The lips are the most exposed erogenous zone on the body. Some women can orgasm just from being kissed for a long period of time. You can improve the sensations when kissing by touching some of the other erogenous zones mentioned above, or by touching someone’s neck, back or collarbone area.

In general if you don’t want nude photos of you floating around online, it is probably best to never take any. In an age where almost everyone has a smart phone, we are very good at sending, receiving and saving photos. And some people can ‘hack’ your iCloud, so you’re never going to be entirely safe if you plan on sending some saucy pics. However, we here at the Sexpress know that you’re probably going to do it anyway, so we put together a guide of how to attempt safe sexting.

1) Edit Your Photos Firstly, no we are not talking about applying the beauty filter on Snapchat. Crop, Block and edit out your face and any identifiable feature on your body. A list of things you should remove from photos of you in your birthday suit include: • • • • •

Face Tattoos Birthmarks/recognisable features Recognisable jewellery Any recognisable landmark/feature of the room

You generally want to remove any evidence that ties the photo back to you, the place or the time because people have ways of proving that you were somewhere at a given time.

2) Send Safely Is your Facebook automatically logged in on that laptop that your roommates are using downstairs to watch Netflix, whilst you send a photo to your beloved upstairs

through the messenger app? Did they accidentally switch tabs? Did they accidentally see you in the nip? Remember that apps like Facebook keep all your pictures stored, and though they are only visible to you and the person you send them too, you may not like this person forever which would be unfortunate because they will have access to your picture forever.

You can use websites like Dropbox, where you can encrypt photos and rescind viewing privileges, or Snapchat, where can you hope that: a) they don’t open the snap in front of people and/or b) screenshot it.

3) Communicate With Your Partner Communication is key, whether you are seeing the person or not. The chances are, if you tell them to not screenshot or save another copy of the picture because you don’t want any possibility of your reputation or future career being ruined, they won’t save the picture.

It is also worth talking to them about their online security. For example, if they share a computer with their siblings, it is probably best not to send the photo through an application they could acciden-

tally open, like a word file.

4) Consider Legal Implications Firstly, if the person you’re sending the pictures to is under 18, don’t do it. Equally, if you’re under 18, don’t do it, as even if you like the person you’re sending the pictures to, they could face legal implications if things go wrong - even though the age of consent in Ireland is 17, this doesn’t carry over to nudes.

Be mindful when receiving photos, don’t be that asshole who sends the pictures on to other people or posts them online. Your online identity can be easily found out and you could face serious legal charges if you abuse someone’s identity like that.

5) Be Prepared to Own Up to it Please take a flattering photo, just in case.

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GAEILGE

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Leithscéal Mhaith Aisling Ní Ghealbháin Scríbhneoir Gaeilge

Tá Máirt na hInide ag buailte linn gan mhoill agus chun a bheith macánta táim ar bís. Is é an taon lá in ár dteach go mbíonn pancóga againn, mar sin is coirm é dúinn.

Tá a fhios agam gur féidir liom pancóga a ithe aon lá gur mian liom ach tá rud difriúl faoi na pancóga ar Máirt na hInide.

Deintear rud mór speisialta as rudai chomh bunúsach le pancóga a ithe. Is lá fhéile é stairiúl é ach mar is gnáth, úsáidtear é chun an méid is mó is gur féidir leat a ithe.

Go stairiúl, ba lá féasta é sna tíortha Críostaí díreach roimh an chéad lá de Charghas, mar sin, d’úsáideach an lá chun an-chuid bia a ithe, go háirithe an bia a bhí ar dhaoine tabhairt suas ar feadh 40 lá, bia sailleach.

Mar sin, bhí bia déanta as “na ceithre crainn taca den chreideamh críostaíochta” uibheacha (siombail de chruthú), plúr (siombail den stotch mhór den chothú duineata),

Leabharlann Boole salann (siombail d’fholláin) agus bainne (siombail de ghlaineach), agus mar is eol daoibh sin iad na comhábhair de phancóga.

Cosúil le gach féile reiligiúnach a bhíonn á ceiliúradh againn, úsáidimid é mar leithscéal chun rudaí míshláintiúla a ithe, mar shampla bíonn uibheach seachláide againn le haghaidh Cásca, dinnéir mhóir lá Nollag agus ar uile. Bímid go léir ag tnúth leis an bia agus ní bhímid ag smaoineamh de gnáth cén fáth go bhffuilimid ag ceiliúradh. Táim féin ciontach d’é sin.

Mar sin, ar an Máirt atá ag teacht is féidir

Lá Fhéile Pádraig

Aoife Nic Gearailt - Eagarthóir Gaeilge Le fhada an lá, tá cuimhní álainne, seoige agam i’m aigne maidir le Lá Fhéile Pádraig. Ó a rabhas i’m chailín óg, roimh dom fiú clárú ar an mbunscoil, go dtí an bhliain seo, agus 20 bliain d’aois slánaithe agam.

Tuigim gur glactar leis an gcéiliúradh mar leithscéal dul ar an drabhlás agus (níos mó ná) ceann pionta a bheith againn, ach dom féim, is i bhfad níos mó ná “seisiún” atá i gceist.

Leis na céadta anuas, tá Éireannaigh uile tar éis féachaint ar Naomh Fhéile Pádraig mar ár néarlamh ach le déanaí, feicimis é i slite thar a bheith eagsúil. Baineann na haosánach ciall as ar nós gur siombal é a ghúna an solas glas ag na soilse tráchta atá i gceist - glas agus lean ort ar an seisiún!

Baineann na comhlachtaí mór le rá earraíocht as chun go mbeidis in ann brabús a ghnothú - ó chartaí, marsantachta, earraí, fiú eadaí agus a leithéad! Do phaistí uilig na tíre seo, gabhann stiogma áirithe leis.

Siombal de lá saor ó scoil, lán de milseáin agus an rud is suntasaí - an máirseáil. Aw yes leaids, suas ar ghulainne do dhaidí, ar nós rí nó banríon, ag tógaint isteach an tat-

maisféar leictreach, agus tú féin líonta le siúcra agus milseáin, clúdaithe agus gléasta ó bhun go barr in uaimhe - aw leaids, céard a mbeadh níos fearr ná é sin??

Bliain i ndiadh bhliain, rachainn féin is mo mhuintir isteach go dtí lár na cathrach chun an máirseáil a fheiscint. Rachaimis, mé féin, mo thuistí, mo chol ceathair agus an chuid eile den gang, go léir isteach san oifig ina raibh an oifig ina raibh m’aintín ag obair ann. Gléasta chomh glas leis an bhféar i ndairire! Bheadh réimse tocsainí (i bhfoirm milseáin!) ann. D’íosaimis agus gáirimis agus bhrathnóimis ar an máirseáil.

Níl friotal ann a chuireadh i gcríobh daoibh an cinéal atháis a bheadh féin ag sonrú.

Agus mé tar éis fás aníos, braithním uaidh na laethanta seo. Anois caithim iad ag obair i’m phost páirt aimseartha.

Nílim in ann a shéanadh nach braithim fearg agus beagánín fala in éagán mo phost, nach ligeann sé mé an lá a chaitheamh i dteannta mo chlann, in oifig m’aintín, gléasta in aon rud glas a raibh mo mháthair in ann teacht ar agus plódaithe le siúcra. Ach an t-Aon rud a thabharfaidh sé sin ar ais dom ná meaisín a chasadh an t-am siar dom, ach ní ach brionglóid chraicéailte í sin.

So mo chairde, cibé rud a dhéanann sibh an Lá Fhéile Pádraigh seo, bainigí lán sult as, ná tógaigí aon rud de do bharúil. Caomhnaigí chuile soiceand den lá áirithe seo, a chéiliúrann céard atá i gceist lena bheith inár Éireannaigh. Bainigí sult as, bainigí craic as, agus déanaigí deimhin de go bhfuil an Paracetamol cois leapa duit féin

liom a rá libh anois go mbeidh mé cinnte ag déanamh go leor pancóga, clúdaith le Nutella agus b’fhéidir cúpla sútha talún (dá mbraithinn sláintiúl). Táim chun leas iomlán a bhaint as an lá mar ní tharlaíonn sé ach uair amháin sa bhlian agus ní bheidh mé á n-ithe arís go dtí 2018.

Nílim ag rá go gciathfidh said dul go pearsanta leis na ceisteanna, ach dar liom tá an próiseas ro-athráiteach na laethanta seo.

Idir na meáin agus an cluiche é féin sin é cás an imreora. Gan amhras ar bith, bíonn sé deacair an dá thraigh a fhreastal.

Reading room - Seomra léitheoireachta Computer(s) - Ríomhaire(í) Laptops to rent - Ríomhaire glúine ar cíos Procrastination - Moilleadóireacht Smoking area- Limistéir shainithe do tobac I’m feeling stressed - Braithim faoi bhrú Boole Basement - Íoslach Boole Deadline - Spriocdháta, Spriocam Do you want to take a coffee break? - An dteastaíonn uait sos caife a ghlacadh?

Did you see your one? - An bhfuil an aisling sin feicithe agat?

Ar mhaith leat seachtain a chaitheamh sa Ghaeltacht?

Tar go dtí Ionad na Gaeilge Labhartha Áras Uí Rathaille ORB G02 28 Feabhra – 2 Márta 2017 9.30am - 4.30pm

Scoláireachtaí Gaeltachta 2017

Fáilte Roimh Gach Éinne

Ná caill do sheans 021 4902314 www.ucc.ie/igl/scolaireacht

Coláiste na hOllscoile Corcaigh University College Cork, Ireland

33

NUI AWARDS 2017 Promoting Scholarship and Academic Distinction

COMPETITIONS NOW OPEN! Apply now for one of the great Scholarships, Fellowships and Prizes on offer, including:

• NUI Post-Doctoral Fellowship in the Sciences • NUI Travelling Studentships Find full details including eligibility criteria and closing dates at www.nui.ie/awards

National University of Ireland, 49 Merrion Square, Dublin 2, D02 V583 Ollscoil na hÉireann, 49 Cearnóg Mhuirfean, Baile Átha Cliath 2, D02 V583 +353 1 439 2424 awards@nui.ie www.nui.ie NationalUniversityofIreland @NUIMerrionSq

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PHOTOS

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Photos courtesy of Emmet Curtin Photography

PHOTOS

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SPORT

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Green Street Eire

Harding

heartbreak for UCC Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor The antics of the Irish fans at Euro 2016 this summer captured the imagination of Europe. From serenading nuns to singing babies to sleep, it was fitting that the Irish where awarded the prestigious Médaille de la Ville de Paris, as well as the outstanding achievement award from UEFA. Irish football has become known for its good-natured and passionate fans.

However, footage uploaded to social media in the aftermath of Drogheda United’s 2-0 away win over Cobh Ramblers last month showed a very different, seldom-seen side of the Irish football fan. Footage uploaded to social media showed rival fans charging at one another, throwing objects and waving weapons. There were unconfirmed reports of a steward being hit in the head with a brick.

While hooliganism in the domestic game pales in comparison to its English cousin, which has reared its ugly head in recent weeks at West Ham’s new London Stadium, it is nonetheless a long-standing issue.

A clash between Shamrock Rovers and St. Patrick’s Athletic in March 1972 was interrupted by crowd disturbances and clashes between fans, with reports of a young boy being stabbed in the crowd.

A famous Dundalk FC meeting with Linfield at Oriel Park in the European Cup in 1979 is etched into the Irish footballing psyche.

“Right from the get-go, there was a whole nasty feeling that something might happen.

Like a doomsday thing," Dundalk defender Dermot Keely told Off the Ball on Newstalk.

From kick-off, the game was chaotic, with Linfield fans burning flags on arrival, leading to stone-throwing between fans. Infamously, a Linfield FC supporter tried to take

down the Tricolour at Oriel Park before a Dundalk FC fan intervened, followed by the Guards.

These scenes would repeat themselves in 1984 during a meeting between Bohemians and Glasgow Rangers in the European Cup. Before the game, a bus of Rangers fans travelling from Northern Ireland was attacked in Dundalk. During the game, both sets of fans burned national flags on the terraces, and clashes between the fans left five members of the Gardaí, and twelve supporters, injured.

Nor is such violence restricted to European games with sectarian undercurrents Derbies such as Bohemians vs. Shamrock Rovers have led to a number of incident over the years. Since the first meeting of the sides in 1915 it has been a tie marred by controversy and incidents. Most shockingly, after the transfer of Tony Grant and James Keddy to Shamrock Rovers from Bohemians in 2003, fans responded by throwing a pig’s head onto the pitch in Dalymount Park. Fan clashes both inside and outside the ground are a regular occurrence. In 2014, 70 fans clashed on Dorset Street in Dublin, leading to three arrests, while 2016 saw fresh clashes between the supporters at Dalymount Park, with missile-throwing and fan clashes during the game.

And such incidents are not just confined to derbies. Following a cup match between Dundalk and Shamrock Rovers in 2014, a group of Rovers fans attacked a man attending his grandmother’s funeral, leaving him with a fractured finger, a broken eye socket and needing six stitches. A month later, as Cork City played Dundalk at Oriel Park with the league title at stake, City fans had golf balls and bottles thrown at them on their arrival, and were taunted at the final whistle by triumphant Dundalk fans.

“At the full time whistle, we were devastated, having made the trip up and facing a long trip back,” says Alexander O’Cal-

laghan. “What made it all worse was that, as soon as the match ended, a mob of Dundalk fans raced from across the pitch shouting and gesturing at us rather than celebrating their win. Children were among our fans, and no child should have such a negative memory of attending a match, never mind the missiles thrown at us. I was convinced that a full riot was about to take place after a few insulted City fans jumped onto the pitch.”

Last season in Ireland’s domestic game there were a number of reported incidents across the league which left a number of games in dispute. At the start of the season, following a 1-0 home win for Derry City, an estimated 150 youths armed with stones ambushed 30-40 Cork City fans. Both clubs were quick to condemn the violence, with Cork City issuing strong words on hooliganism in Irish football. Sinn Fein councillor for Derry Patricia Logue said: “It was the most vicious attack, one that this community never wants to see again. It was awful.”

A Dundalk supporters bus was also vandalised in Derry after the 2016 FAI Cup semi-final, with reports of a 14 year old being hit over the head with a bottle outside the stadium. Northern Ireland Deputy First Minister, Martin McGuinness, said on Twitter: “More disappointing than Derry City FC losing to Dundalk FC were the mindless thugs who assaulted a young Dundalk fan and damaged visitor’s bus.”

Turner’s Cross security guard Graham O’Leary witnesses first-hand how easily the fine line between passionate support and hooliganism is crossed, noting: “Referee got an awful time that night. We had to escort him off the pitch and we got battered with stuff from the Shed End.” Ahead of the 2016 FAI Cup Final 25 security teams from Dundalk and Cork City were ordered to the Aviva Stadium, along with three security companies and 140 security stewards.

Extra time heartbreak for the UCC Freshers in the 2017 Harding Cup, as Neal Horgan and his team crashed out to a 2-1 defeat at the hands of DCU at Trinity College.

In what was a memorable season for Horgan and his team, the Freshers outfit travelled into last month’s final following a 2-1 victory over Maynooth University in the quarterfinals, and a tense 4-2 win over NUIG after a gripping penalty shootout, when a 1-1 draw could not be broken over 120 minutes. The final was set up for a grand slam finish for the college and former Cork City FC star Neal Horgan, who was looking for his first piece of silverware at UCC. UCC carried the game into extra time, and quickly fell behind, but drew level thanks to a Dave Dalton; his third goal of the tournament. Late drama crushed the UCC fighting spirit, as DCU were able to snatch a 2-1 win deep into extra time, only moments after Dylan Bradley had a goal ruled out offside for the Leesiders.

DCU ran out 2-1 winners in the end following a stiff 120 minutes at Trinity College. In total Neal Horgan and his team will have played an estimated 350 minutes over the course of the tournament.

Teams: UCC: C O’Hanlon, J Buttimer, A O’Brien, D Baldwin, D Hemmingway, J Douglas, L Moynihan, C Cotter, B Cronin, D Dalton, E Kelly.

Substitutes: T Stephenson, D O’Flathery, D Bradley, O’Duyile, C Walsh, B Barry, D Archer.

DCU: L Doyle, S Lawlor, K Melling, C McKenna, J Traynor, C Sutton, S McCarthy, J Lennon, J O’Connor, Colman O’Brien, F O ’Donoghue.

Substitutes: N Butler, S McCullough, D O’Hanlon, S O’Connor, A Ralph, P Ryan, D Forde.

Referee: John McCarthy.

SPORT

ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

37

UCC fights against suicide

event like this is more important than ever.

Suicide is always a topic that gets scooted around in Irish culture, so any event that breaks the stigma, it is always good especially for students, seeing as this demographic is particularly vulnerable to mental illness and suicide, especially in men. It's also very relevant to us as a club, as one of our trainers’, who will be competing in the event, friends recently died by suicide, so it's more important than ever that we do something to help​."​

Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

The event is scheduled to begin at half six UCC kickboxing Club, in association with in the evening and will involve eleven fights the SÁMH Society, are organising a fight across the evening, as well as a raffle and night against suicide on Tuesday the 28th of sumo wrestling.

February at Devere Hall UCC. Speaking to the Express ahead of the event, The event, which is being advertised under UCC Kickboxing’s Triona O’Donnell is the heading “UCC Fights Suicide,” is being ecstatic, commenting that “these types of organised with UCC’s Suicide and Mental events are very important for us as a club.

Health Society in response to the recent We are primarily a college club designed wave of suicides across Cork City in recent to better the lives of UCC students, so an event that gets us more involved with the months.

student body is always great. Kickboxing is all about the strength of mind and body, so if we get a chance to display our skills in aid of people with mental illness it's perfect for us, as it allows us to reach past members of the club and contribute to the college’s wellbeing in general.”

Speaking on the past couple of months in Cork City, which saw the City’s suicide figures double the national average, O’Donnell once again stressed the importance of this evening’s event: “Being involved in an

The fight card for the night is as follows: Eamonn Cuipeir vs Ross McBride Anne Marie O'Connor vs Verginiya Hristova Jack Delaney vs. Domhnall Ó Maoldomhnaigh Anna Heverin vs. Constance Young Fionnuala De Barra vs. Tati Tatoro Triona O’Donnell vs. Jane O'Connor Hugh O’Dwyer vs Fergal O'Connor Aisling Cadogan vs. Lini Steffens Denise McRave vs. Zsuzsanna Banga Conor O'Donovan vs. Arnaud Dumat Tchoubane Craig O Shaughnessy vs. Dalton O'shaughnessy

Cork City FC 3-0 Dundalk 2017 Presidents Cup, Turners Cross Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

was not done yet, as Kilduff brought down a powerful header with just the keeper to beat, but the Dundalk target man had his shot saved by McNulty yet again.

City, showing off new signings Conor McCormack, Shane Grimes and Jimmy Keohane, soon sprung into life, and brought the game level. Gearoid Morrissey set up Sean Maguire with a fine ball from forty yards out, leaving the Kilkenny native one-on-one with Gary Rogers, In a dominating performance by John and after turning away Brian Gartland he Caulfield’s men, Cork City set the pace fired low and into the back of the net. of the game early on and, thanks to a first half strike from super striker Sean Ma- In the second half City really progressed guire, as well as second half goals from and grabbed the game by the scruff of its Kevin O’Connor and Karl Sheppard, the neck, and were quickly awarded when former UCC manager retained the Presi- Paddy Barrett brought down Stephen Teams: dents Cup. Dooley at the edge of the penalty area, Cork City: Mark McNulty; Steven Begiving the Rebel Army a tantalising free attie (Shane Griffin 83), Conor McCorCity travelled into the game well, with kick. Up stepped Wexford local Kevin mack, Gary Delaney, Kevin O’Connor; the 2016 FAI Cup locked away in the tro- O’Connor, who curled the ball into the Jimmy Keohane, Garry Buckley, Greg phy room in Bishopstown, and with the top corner and doubled the host’s lead.

Bolger (Karl Sheppard 65), Gearoid 2017 Munster Senior Cup final ahead of In the closing moments Karl Sheppard Morrissey (Conor Ellis 87), Stephen them. They soon almost fell behind when erupted down the left hand flank, eluding Dooley (Conor McCarthy 90+2); Sean former Cork City striker Kieran Kilduff a tight-footed Dundalk defence and fired Maguire. charged down the left hand flank and low and across the face of goal to seal a Subs Not Used: Alan Smith (gk), Garan shot well, forcing a fine save from Mark comfortable 3-0 win for John Caulfield Manley, Achille Campion.

McNulty. The UCC goalkeeping coach and his men.

Dundalk: Gabriel Sava; Sean Gannon Cork City FC kickstarted their 2017 season in dramatic fashion at Turners Cross by defeating league champions Dundalk to lift the 2017 Presidents Cup in a cold and wet night on Leeside.

(Niclas Vemmelund 80), Brian Gartland, Paddy Barrett, Dane Massey; John Mountney (Steven Kinsella73), Robbie Benson, Stephen O’Donnell (Conor Clifford 77), Patrick McEleney, Michael Duffy (Jamie McGrath 80); Ciaran Kilduff (Carlton Ubaezuono 90+2).

Subs Not Used: Ben Kelly (gk), Sean Hoare.

Referee: Anthony Buttimer Attendance: 3,140

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ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

Test Matches and a National Stadium - Cricket Ireland Update Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief The last few weeks has been filled with ups and downs for cricket fans in Ireland, though compared to where Cricket Ireland was just 10 years ago, those ups are very high, and the downs are quite shallow.

At the start of February, it was announced that the ICC was considering the extension of Full Membership to current associate nations, namely Ireland and Afghanistan, provided they met certain membership criteria. Speaking after the meeting, ICC Chairman Shashank Manohar said that "today was an important step forward for the future of the ICC and cricket around the world. I want the ICC to be reasonable and fair in our approach to all 105 Members, and the revised constitution and financial model does that. There are still details to work through and concerns to be addressed, but the principle of change is agreed and not for debate. There was a strong desire from the ICC Board to work together for the betterment of cricket." This full member status would allow Ireland to play Test Cricket, the highest level of the game, which would also mean more regular games against top opponents and, ultimately more money in the game. Speaking with quiet confidence to the Irish Independent after the meeting, Cricket Ireland CEO Warren Deutrom said: "I don't want to remotely give the impression that we regard fulfilment of the Full Member criteria or approval by the membership as a penalty kick - but I might have small

glass of wine to satisfy my cautiously optimistic self." The proposal currently on the table would mean Ireland and Afghanistan, as well as current Test nation Zimbabwe, would remain outside of a two-year long ‘Test League’ cycle, while getting regular games against top teams in between league games.

More recently, Fine Gael TD for Dublin North Alan Farrell pushed for money to be diverted towards building a new National Stadium for the Irish Cricket team. He made his case in front of a Public Accounts Committee meeting, saying that the Minister for Sport & Tourism needed to capitalise on the “explosion” of popularity of the game: "This is a sport considered a minority yet it has this incredible reach. We are

about to go up a level in the league structure, if you want to call it that."

Deputy Farrell added: "this has incredible potential for Ireland to put its foot into the foot of the super league internationally and yet we don't have a stadium, a national arena. It has quadrupled its membership in four years and four years prior to that it doubled its membership. So we are talking about an explosion in support, not just in the north of this city. I am told there is an active cricket club in all 32 counties. I think that is something that should be considered by the department as part of future planning."

While the Dublin TD makes a good case for potential income via tourism, citing that over 600 million people from India

watched a televised game from Malahide a few years ago, one must really question if a permanent national stadium is the right way to invest in Ireland’s cricket future. The current international grounds, split between Clontarf, Stormont in Belfast and Malahide, pale in comparison to the likes of Lords, the Oval and the MCG, but provide adequate cover for what is still a junior cricketing nation. Malahide, in particular, being a fully-retractable stadium with no permanent stands, is perfect for a country that’s summers even aren’t particularly suited for the summer sport.

The funding that would go to a stadium, it would seem, would be better invested in either youth development or the domestic games, both of which are cornerstones to obtaining Test status. Regardless, the proposal was shelved for the time being.

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Highs and (Mainly) Lows for UCC GAA

Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor It has been a mixed few weeks for UCC GAA. Some stellar results, such as the senior hurling team qualifying for the 2017 Fitzgibbon Cup finals weekend, but there has also been much disappointment for the club, with the senior camogie team being beaten in the Ashbourne Cup final, and the senior footballers losing by a point to St. Mary’s in the Sigerson Cup. Fitzgibbon Cup: UCC senior hurling booked their place at the 2017 Fitzgibbon Cup weekend following a convincing 1-18 to 0-16 point victory over DCU at the Mardyke last month.

In what was a barren game, both sides were level for much of the game, but a late UCC surge thanks to Jamie Barron, Mark O'Brien, Seamus Kennedy and Michael O'Halloran helped UCC to run out rampant winners on a blustery afternoon on Leeside.

Patrick Curran, fresh from scoring 1-1 against Kilkenny the weekend beforehand, was the main nemesis to UCC throughout the game, with the Waterford half-forward running away with seven points (six from frees) over the game. A second half slip caused the target man to miss a crucial point midway through the second half, which turned the game in UCC’s favour and light the fire in the John Grainger’s men. Ultimately, however, this brave quarterfinals performance amounted to nought for the Leesiders, as they were narrowly defeated by IT Carlow 2-20 to 1-20 after extra time in the semifinal.

Teams: UCC: J Barry; S Roche, C Spillane, I Kenny; S Kennedy, C Gleeson, R Cahalane; J

Barron, C O’Leary; G O’Brien, T Devine, M O’Brien; A Cadogan, J O’Flynn, A Spillane.

Subs: M Breen for O’Flynn (half-time), M O’Connor for Cahalane (48), M O'Halloran for G O’Brien (48), E Gunning for Kenny (56, injured).

DCU: R Gillen; S McCaw, C Delaney, E O’Donnell; T French, P Foley, A Maddock; P O’Dea, G Bailey; L Fahey, R McBride, J Byrne; AJ Murphy, P Curran, E Conroy.

Subs: K Doyle for McCaw (16, injured), E McHugh for French (41), H O’Connor for Bailey (46), P Kelly for Doyle (59).

Ashbourne Cup: There was heartbreak for UCC senior Camogie, as UL pipped the Leesiders to the 2017 Ashbourne Cup by 2-08 to 1-07 at Abbotstown last month.

In a repeat of last year’s final, which saw UL capture the cup thanks to an added-time Laura McMahon goal. UCC were left behind by four points in a gripping final which showed some of camogie’s brightest young prospects.

Despite a dominating opening spell by UL, Lauren Callanan’s goal gave UCC hope heading into the second half, but her effort was ultimately in vain to bridge the four point gap.

Katrina Mackey fought back with a brace from the frees, but UL’s dominance was too much for the UCC side, who saw their quest for their first Ashbourne Cup since 2013 fade in the final moments, as UL ran out 2-08 to 1-07 in the capital.

Teams: UL: R Breen, C Walsh, L McMahon, C Hehir, E Kelly, C Maher, N Ryan, E Fryday (1-00), P Diggin (0-03), A Keane, N Hanniffy, G O’Brien, C Lyons (1-00), B Carton (0-03), R Howard (0-01)

UCC: C O’Leary, R Phelan, L Coppinger, M Cahalane, Y Murphy, P Mackey, J Hosford, H Looney (0-01), K O’Keeffe, A Malone (0-01), O Cronin, L Callanan (100), A O’Connor, N McCarthy, K Mackey (0-05) REFEREE: L Downey (Kilkenny) Sigerson Cup: There was major calls of an upset at the Connaught Centre of Excellence, as UCC lost out to St.Mary’s Belfast for a place in the Sigerson Final on a score line of 2-7 to 2-6.

UCC started well, with Billy Morgan and his side charging into an early lead thanks to Ian Maguire and Cathal Bambury. Kevin McGeary edged St Mary’s back into the game, with Oisín O’Neill adding his name to the scoresheet as well as Fitzpatrick finding the back of the net to help close the gap for the Belfast side.

There was room for optimism for UCC, as Killian Spillane kicked his side back into the game from two excellent frees.

Brian O’Driscoll brought the game back within a point into stoppage time, but time was running out for Billy Morgan and his team. Discipline fell in the final few moments, with Adrian Spillane seeing red af-

ter his black card in the 58th minute – as well as fellow team mate Alan O’Donovan.

Full time score was 2-7 to 2-6 to St. Mary’s Belfast, a major upset for the Country Antrim college, who had never won a title before. UCC are now left with only the Cork Senior Football Championship to play for this season.

Teams: ST MARY’S: M Reid; K Mallon, A McKay, R Mooney; C Byrne, C Meyler, K McGeary, B Óg McGilligan, O O’Neill; C Corrigan, C McCann, S McConville; K McKernan, C McShane, M Fitzpatrick.

Subs: C Quinn for McCann (31 mins, bc), C Mac Iomhar for McGeary (47 mins, bc), D Kavanagh for McGilligan (49 mins), A Nugent for McConville (61 mins).

UCC: M Martin; C Begley, F Clifford, J Foley; K Crowley, S Cronin, T O’Sullivan; I Maguire, R O’Toole; B O’Driscoll, A Spillane, J Kennedy; R Buckley, K Spillane, C Bambury.

Subs: K Flahive for Begley (h-t), A O’Donovan for O’Toole (41 mins), S Sherlock for Buckley (45 mins).

Referee: James Molloy (Galway).

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 10 | Tuesday February 28th

UCC players celebrate their historic win, euphoria on their faces, over UCD in Maynooth University. (Photo: UCC Soccer)

Collingwood success for UCC Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor

Daniel Pender etched his name into UCC Soccer folklore as the former Waterford United striker sprung late to snatch the Collingwood Cup from UCD in a dramatic 2-1 win at Maynooth University.

Daniel Pender’s stoppage time header captured the title for Noel Healy and his team, bringing the Collingwood Cup to UCC for the thirteenth time.

In an even game across the 90 minutes, both sides pressed hard and had their share of chances. It was UCD’s Conor Cannon who brought the ball down to Timmy Molloy, who almost drew first blood when his shot was drilled hard but just wide. UCD fought on well through Daire O’Connor, but his effort from dis-

tance was well wide of the target. UCC saw out the second half however, running out a slim 1-0 lead thanks to a Sean O’Callaghan penalty after 15 minutes.

In a tense second half, neither side were able to take full control of the cup final. Advantage fell to the holders UCD when Georgie Kelly pulled it back level for the Dublin outfit. Momentum now swinging their way, UCD fought and pressed forcefully against the well-organised UCC defence who, thanks in part to a stellar performance from Sean O’Mahony, were able to keep the game 1-1.

Extra time looked certain in Maynooth, until deep into stoppage time when Ben McAuliffe broke down the left hand flank; as UCC scrambled together for

one last attack inside the area, McAuliffe crossed the ball into the path of star striker Daniel Pender, who headed the ball low into the UCD net to bring the Collingwood back to Leeside.

A memorable campaign for UCC brings the college its second title in three years, yet another success for Noel Healy and his UCC set-up which had already won the 2015 Intervarsity treble of the Collingwood, Crowley and Harding Cup, as well as the 2016 Farqar Cup. Any proclamations of jubilation will be somewhat muted, as the side prepares to clash with UCD once again in the 2016/17 Premier Division Final, where the college will be hoping for the ever elusive double. Still, the players and staff must make time to congratulate

themselves on a hard-fought campaign, and revel in their success, if even for just a moment.

Teams: UCC: K O’Brien; J Buttimer, S O’Mahony, S McLoughlin, B McAuliffe; R Lynch, T Murphy; S O’Callaghan (D Dalton 89), D Pender, S Daly-Butz; D Lucey. Subs not used: D O’Gorman, M Murphy, D Hemmingway, A O’Brein, J Cullinane. C O’Hanlon.

UCD: N Corbet; D Tobin, J Collins, L Scales. S Coyne; G Sloggett (G Kelly 65), G O’Neill; S Belhout (D O’Connor 70), T Molloy, J McClelland (C Feeney 45); C Cannon. Subs not used: M Kouogun, J Dineen, G Sheridan, Y Mahdy.

Referee: P O’Mahony (Dublin).