UCC Express Vol. 20 Issue 11

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 11 | Tuesday March 14th

UCC Rise in QS Ranks

Page 4 - News

ELECTIONS: Kelly Coyle is surrounded by her friends and campaign team having been elected (photo: Emmet Curtin)

Exciting Elections End Spectacularly for Students’ Union Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

Quite possibly the most exciting election season has come to an end. The campaign held many twists and turns for candidates and voters alike, and has resulted in what could be a tumultuous year for the Students’ Union. It began on Monday 27th, when it was announced that the candidates for Welfare and Equality, both then unopposed, had been disqualified due to late submission of the digital copy of their manifesto, and would have to recollect signatures again.

A Medicine & Health Rep candidate was also disqualified, but she was not allowed to reapply, as another viable candidate was already confirmed to have entered before

the deadline. Students were given two days to get the requisite signatures (500 for Welfare, 250 for Equality), write a manifesto and hand them in. After the two days, originally-unopposed Welfare candidate Michael O’Keeffe was joined by Harry Potter Society Chairperson Kelly Coyle and Postgraduate student John McCarthy. Niamh O’Reilly went unopposed for the position of Equality Officer.

didates Niamh O’Reilly and Faye Murphy being elected with around 95% of the vote each. Laura Mitchell and Ronan Carey were elected Medicine & Health and SEFS Representatives respectively, and incumbent Business & Law Rep Kayleigh O’Sullivan was successfully reelected. The position of College Rep for the College of Arts, Celtic Studies & Social Sciences (CACSSS) was the only contested non-sabbatical position, as three candidates duked it out to succeed Aaron Frahill. One candidate, Elle Kelleher, missed the first day of campaigning due to being stranded in Scotland, which certainly put a dampener on her campaign.

Twenty-one candidates ran for office overall, with only one non-sabbatical officer election being contested by more than one candidate. The first two results announced on the night of the 7th were for Equality Officer & Oifigeach Gaeilge, with sole can- Continues on Page 3...

Psychology of Road Rage

Page 12 - Features

Interview: Ellen Murray

Byline Magazine

NEWS INSIDE TODAY: 2

NEWS

FROM THE EDITOR long. This is the second to last issue of the UCC Express this year, and it may have been the longest year of my life. The last month, for example, seems to have been at least 4 decades long. Maybe time just seems slower when you don’t sleep…

05 Referendum results 05 CUBS is officially launched

FEATURES

08 7 things you ‘realise’ in uni 10 The Week of 10000 words

SEXPRESS

31 Body Positivity and You!

BYLINE

24 Interview with ‘CallMeKevin’ 14 Horoscopes

SPORT

39 Ups & Downs for UCC Tennis 38 City hit the top of the league

EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-Chief - Robert O’Sullivan News Editor - Michelle Beazley Deputy News Editor - Ciaran O’Halloran Graphic Designer - Beth Alexander Features Editor - Mary Collins Deputy Features Editor - Ciara Dinneen Photographer - Emmet Curtin Sports Editor - Dylan O Connell Deputy Sports Editor - Darragh Walsh Eagarthóir Gaeilge - Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive - Sarah Dunphy Online Editor - Evan Smith Byline Editor - Lauren Mulvihill Byline Associate Editor - Sarah Ryan Fiction Editor - Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Music Editor - Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor - Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor - Iris Maher Food Editor - Xander Cosgrave Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston Niamh O’Reilly

The Long and Winding Road

Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

While you’d probably expect me to say that time really has flown, and that it ‘just seems like yesterday when we put out our Freshers Issue’, and most of the time you’d be right to presume that I’d be throwing out clichés left & right...but not today.

No, my friends, this year has seemed

And I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had a long, tiring few weeks.

The SU Elections have just finished up (or, depending on what happens ten minutes after our print deadline, they’re still going...) and boy is that not a fun time. Regardless of how you feel about the individuals, their ability or their qualification, you have to admire the willingness to put oneself out there, especially for Martin, Art and Katie, who’ve had an extended stay in the public eye (which typically means more personal insults & bullying online) due to the appeal dealies; when I ran for SU many years ago (I was on it in Stanton’s year, I’m that old) I was unopposed, and I was a bag of nerves on the night, so i can only imagine what

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

going through four counts is like. To the eventual president, to the other officers, I wish you the best.

If you were to listen to any song while reading this next bit, you might as well make it that Baz Luhrmann spoken-word track that went to number one in Ireland, somehow. Look after your health, and it’ll look after you.

Sleep regularly, even if you have an assignment due at 9 and you haven’t even started, you’ll do better work after a quick nap. Eat food - you’d be surprised how much people forget to eat when they’re in college. If you feel ill, go to a doctor; maybe it’s a cold or flu this time, but it mightn’t.

You’re only young once, but it isn’t a license to go mad. Lastly, be kind to each other.

Until next week, true believers.

Robert O’Sullivan

FROM THE NEWS EDITOR

Can you hear us now?

Michelle Beazley- Acting News Editor In light of RTÉ’s perceived neglect in sufficiently covering the Strike 4 Repeal, and the subsequent call-to-arms for Repeal protestors to picket outside RTÉ studios to call attention to this silence on what is arguably the biggest protest in recent years, I’ve decided to use my one and only editorial to ensure The Express offices remain picket-free.

International Women’s Day saw thousands march against the 8th Amendment across the country, and the week

saw many related feminist movements in UCC , including the Bus4Repeal rally on campus on March 7th , a Strike4Repeal protest on the 8th, and Ireland’s first Women in Law Forum on the 10th. Turnout for all three events was overwhelming.

Every day, an estimated average of 12 women leave Ireland to access abortion services in the UK and farther abroad. For those thousands striking for the right to bodily autonomy on the 8th of March, these startling figures aren’t half as surprising as the seemingly deliberate decision of a national, state-funded broadcaster to disregard the event. Their valiant efforts obtained international coverage, but were largely swept under the carpet at home. Presumably RTÉ will attempt to explain the absence of coverage away in the name of balance, but it just isn’t good enough. The people of Ireland want a referendum, and these recent passionate protests show they are not willing to be ignored anymore.

Under a deal set by the government, the earliest a referendum on the 8th Amendment can be expected is 2018, but an unstable government means that timeframe may stretch on indefi-

nitely. The 8th amendment was voted in over 30 years ago, meaning there are hundreds of thousands of Irish citizens who never had a say in the matter. This uncertainty and blatant reluctance to allow the people of Ireland a chance to choose flies in the face of our Constitutional rights.

It’s time to call a Referenda, Enda.

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Story Continued from the Front Page...

NEWS

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Around the Universities:

Both Elle & Shane Kenneally put on great showing in the elections, but ultimately it was Amy Poland who won out, receiving approximately 40% of first-preference votes. The last part-time officer to be elected was the Entertainments Officer, and sole candidate Ben Dunlea was able to easily turn away RON. It is expected that he will take the sabbatical year for Ents, as all candidates have done since the introduction of the optional paid leave.

The first sabbatical position to be announced was for the Vice President of Commercial & Communications (Comms Officer). Though Barry O’Shea went unopposed, a concerted RON campaign had been launched over social media, which cast aspersion over his ability to walk the election. However, Mr.O’Shea had nothing to fear, as he walked away with 88% of first preference votes. Next up was Welfare, which had been much too close to call even at the end of the two days of campaigns. Candidates O’Keeffe and McCarthy both received just over a thousand votes, but they weren’t close enough to catch eventual winner Kelly Coyle. The Education race pitted current-Postgraduate Officer Chris McCahill against Tadhg Casey; while both candidates seemed evenly matched going into the two days, Casey was able to win on the first count, getting 75% of first preference votes. The penultimate election to see who would be UCC SU’s next Deputy President saw CYM Chair Mervyn Galvin take on current Council Chair Seán ‘Poodles’ Ó Riabhaigh and UCC Ógra Fianna Fáil Chair Daire O’Herlihy. Gal-

vin, a self-admitted alternative candidate, had a tough hill to climb, and neither him nor O’Herlihy could catch Ó Riabhaigh, who cruised home to victory on the third count.

Spectators waited late into the night for the Presidential results. Commerce Society Chair Martin Scally, Med & Health Rep Art Kelleher and 2nd year politics student Katie O’Neill must have all been on tenterhooks, as the night dragged on late into the early hours. Behind closed doors, after the results had been counted, Scally had won the election by an incredibly close margin, with approximately 11 votes in his favour. After a recount, the margin was down to single digits; after a third recount, the result was apparently tied between Kelleher & Scally. As the hours ticked away, and supporters were shepherded out of Devere Hall, the electors agreed to suspend the count until 9am that morning. The following day everyone reconvened, and after a final count, Martin Scally was announced the winner, by a margin of six votes.

“Behind closed doors, after the results had been counted, Scally had won the election by an incredibly close margin, ” The dramatics were not over yet; students in the College of Medicine & Health claimed they were unable to vote for a multitude of reasons. Some said they had been turned away from the

polling stations in Brookfield late in the second day, as the station had run out of ballots. There were also reported issues for students who were based in the CUH, who were inexplicably registered for Brookfield, and students based in Brookfield being registered for the CUH polling station, which only operated on the Tuesday from 9am til 1pm. The news, first broke on social media, was then supported by a number of testimonies sent into the Express. In response to these claims, narrowly-defeated candidate Art Kelleher appealed the decision, claiming the above complaints violated an election rule concerning the right to vote. Kelleher met with the Returning Officer, the Students’ Union barrister and fellow candidate Martin Scally to discuss the appeal on Friday, and Kelleher was given the weekend to decide on whether he wanted to go ahead with the appeal or not. While it is not known at the time of writing whether Mr.Kelleher will proceed with his appeal, no doubt an up-to-date report will be available on UCCExpress.ie.

Students’ Union Executive, 2017/18: President - Martin Scally (pending the appeal), Deputy - Seán Ó Riabhaigh, Welfare - Kelly Coyle, Education - Tadhg Casey, Comms - Barry O’Shea, Ents Ben Dunlea, Equality - Niamh O’Reilly, Gaeilge - Faye Murphy, CACSSS Rep - Amy Poland, SEFS Rep - Ronan Carey, Med & Health Rep - Laura Mitchell, B&L Rep - Kayleigh O’Sullivan, Council Chair (TBD), Postgraduate Rep - Chris McCahill (until Nov. 2017).

University College DublinPro-life campaigner Katie Ascough was last week elected as UCD Students’ Union President.

She defeated three other candidates to take the top job in UCDSU, getting 1431 votes overall.

Ascough, who is a prominent member of the group ‘Students for Life’, says her views won’t conflict with Union mandates; last year a majority of UCD students voted for the Students’ Union to campaign to repeal the eighth amendment.

Trinity College Dublin- TCD Students’ Union have opened a ‘long-awaited’ nap room. The room, which is filled with couches for students to rest, was a key part of TCDSU Welfare Officer Aoibhinn Loughlin’s manifesto. The nap room is based in Goldsmith Hall, in the Parlour Room beside the SU Cafe. The space had been set aside as a student space since 2014, where TCD Student Council voted that it would be made into a ‘sun room’.

University of Limerick - UL Students’ Union had to cancel consent classes due to low levels of interest from students.

ULSU Welfare Officer Caolan O’Donnell expressed his disappointment in the uptake, but a representative of ‘Smart Consent’ described it to ‘An Focal’ as “typical.” This followed a similar situation in UCD, where similar classes were cancelled due to poor attendance & turnout. While UCC has yet to institute consent classes, this year a 5-credit module on consent & sexual respect was introduced for first year Law students.

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NEWS

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External groups visit campus on abortion issue

step in and ensure that every single person in this country, regardless of their situation, background or colour, has access to safe abortion. We care about women's lives and women's health and we respect and support every woman's individual choice.”

Michelle Beazley, acting-News Editor

A bus travelling across Ireland in support of the ‘Repeal the 8th’ movement arrived in UCC on the morning of March 7th. The campaign was hosted by pro-choice group ROSA (Reproductive rights against Oppression, Sexism and Austerity), in conjunction with Women on Web, an online medical abortion service. Spokesperson for the campaign, Rita Harrold, elaborated on the aims of the campaign: "We want to get the message out there about the need for repeal but also about the alternatives available in the meantime...We'll be bringing that message around Ireland and college campuses, we have a leaflet outlining exactly how medical abortion was held shortly afterwards, where the works." main topic of discussion was strategy to The bus travelled to major cities and win a possible referendum for repeal. colleges in the lead up to International The arrival on campus was similarly Women’s Day on March 8th. It arrived well attended, despite the poor weathon Winthrop Street in Cork city on er conditions, suggesting a strong level March 6th to approximately 300 peo- of support for the Repeal the 8th moveple, who came out to support the bus. ment among UCC students as a whole, Many prominent public figures were in mirroring positive results in last year’s attendance, including Ruth Coppinger, referendum that led to UCCSU adoptT.D. A post-rally discussion and social ing a pro-choice stance.

Protesters from anti-abortion groups were also present both the day before and the day of the arrival of the bus. Members of the group ‘Students for Life’ appeared outside the main gates of UCC on the Monday morning, handing out leaflets to passersby. A counter-protest on the Tuesday was peaceful, and went without incident. Pro Life Campaign spokesperson Cora Sherlock has called the ‘BusSpokesperson for the campaign, Mel Ní, 4Repeal’ campaign a “cheap stunt” that refers to Ireland’s abortion laws as “ar- shows “disregard for health and safety.” chaic,” explaining that “[m]aking abortion illegal doesn't stop abortion; it stops The bus tour comes as the Citizens AsSAFE abortion and women die as a result. sembly meet this week to discuss the The WHO estimates that a woman dies abortion ban, and as the Dáil voted down from an unsafe abortion every 8 minutes. a Bill from the AAA/PBP that would seek If the Irish government refuses women to reduce the punishment for women who the right to access basic healthcare in their have abortions to a €1 fine. The current own country, groups like ROSA, in con- law in Ireland imposes a 14 year jail term junction with WomenOnWeb.Org will on women convicted of having abortions.

UCC Rises in World Rankings Maebh Mary Butler, News Writer

As 2017 continues, UCC receives yet another nod of recognition for its excellence.

Named University of the Year in The Sunday Times Good University Guide 2017 for the second year running, ranked highest in Ireland and 12th globally on the UI GreenMetric Rankings of World Universities 2016, it has also jumped in the QS Rankings of subject results for 2017.

A global database, which ranks the world’s top 900 universities, has added two subjects from UCC to its top 100 subjects, and 16 to its top 300. The international QS World University Rankings by Subject 2017 list, published on the 8th March, has now included the UCC School of Nursing and Midwifery and the School of Pharmacy & Pharmacology.

Professor Eileen Savage, of the UCC School of Nursing and Midwifery, has responded to the addition of the School to the list, stating that “[their] achievement in the top 100 in nursing schools worldwide is recognition of the expertise and commitment of all our lecturers, administrative and professional/technical staff.

“[O]ur School achieves excellence in offering high quality programmes at undergraduate level in four areas of nursing: general, integrated children’s and general, intellectual disability and mental health; and also in midwifery. We offer a range of postgraduate, clinical specialist, advanced practitioner and doctorate programmes which are fit for purpose. Demand for places on our courses has been growing for the past 10 years and we are proud of our first class teaching resources, exemplified by our state of the art clinical simulation resource centre and our close partnerships with Ireland’s Sciences, Chemistry, Computer Science & largest and foremost teaching hospitals.”

Information Systems, Education, English Language & Literature, Environmental Professor Stephen Byrne, the Head of the Sciences, Engineering (Chemical), EnSchool of Pharmacy, and the Chair of Clingineering (Electrical & Electronic), Law, ical Pharmacy Practice, also expressed his Medicine, Modern Languages, Nursing delight at the latest rankings: “I am also and Midwifery, Pharmacy & Pharmacolopleased to see the research endeavours of gy, Physics & Astronomy and Sociology. colleagues and collaborators within UCC A sense of competitiveness is undoubtedbeing recognised for their dedication and ly running amongst the bigger universities commitment. It is even more welcome to in Ireland, as NUI Galway also achieved the School, as it is implementing [a] fivea top 100 position for nursing. In Dublin, year integrated MPharm degree which UCD have taken the lead overall, as they started in September 2015.” received rankings for 13 subjects in the top 100 list, as well as Veterinary Science and The top 300 list of QS Rankings by SubEnglish language & literature in the top 50. ject saw the addition of 16 UCC subjects, This resulted in a slipping in the ranks for which include Archaeology, Biological

Trinity College Dublin, who now find themselves out of the top position of Irish universities.

The continuous success for UCC, however, recognises its position as one of the top Irish universities. The university’s latest achievement has been warmly welcomed by UCC President, Professor Patrick O’Shea, who highlighted that “[s]uch performances demonstrate that University College Cork remains in an excellent position to compete both nationally and internationally. It enhances UCC’s reputation as an attractive option for study at all levels and assures employers that UCC’s alumni are work and world-ready.”

NEWS 5 UCC President announces state of the art University Business School building ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

(EALA), Eugene O’Callaghan, Director of the Ireland Strategic Investment Fund, and award-winning creator of Cocoa Brown, Marissa Carter. It also held panel discussions on issues such as impacts on the global financial markets, working in finance & how to make it to the top, entrepreneurship & developing products while satisfying customers & stakeholders; and shaping & creating the economic environment. These speeches featured: Willie Slattery, CEO, International, DST Financial Services at DST International Holdings Ltd. and Chairman of International Financial Data Services; Jim Norris, Managing Director of Vanguard International; Joe Guinan, Founder of Advantage Futures, Chicago; Brian Phelan, CEO, Glanbia Nutritionals; Colm Lyon, Founder and CEO of Realex Payments and Fire Financial Services; and Chris Kennedy, CTO and founder of Trustev.

& Social (E&S) societies, the conference was attended by almost 900 delegates, Editor which also featured leading international Since January of 2015 Corks University experts from the spheres of finance, busiBusiness School at University College Cork ness, technology and politics in Cork’s Ophas been one of Ireland’s largest business era house on Monday March 6th. schools. Already home to the largest number of full time undergraduate students in The conference was opened by recently apany business school in Ireland, and with the pointed President of UCC, Professor Patsecond highest number of postgrads, it also rick O’Shea, who opened by saying “What boasts the highest level of research income. really appeals to me about this conference The school, however, is set to undergo an is the level of ambition that has been disexpansion, with the transformation of the played by the student organisers and the iconic former Cork Savings Bank building focus that has been put on competing inon Lapp’s Quay into a state-of-the-art edu- ternationally and entrepreneurship. The cation facility, located within an area of the ambition the students of CUBS have is city that is rapidly becoming Cork City’s matched by the university, and I’m delighted to announce publicly that over the next primary hub for business activity. few years UCC will build a state of the art The day-long event, titled ‘Shaping Ire- Business School building in the city which land’s Future’ was Ireland’s largest stu- will be one of the largest academic builddent-led and student-focused conference. ings in the country.

knowledge and practice of business and today’s announcement should convince you of UCC’s commitment to business education and to our support for the ambitions of CUBS to increase the numbers of undergraduate, and in particular the number of Others who also featured in these panel postgraduate, business students.” discussions were young entrepreneurs who were making waves in their respecEchoing Professor O’Shea’s opening re- tive fields, such as Richard Barrett and marks, Professor Ciaran Murphy, Dean Ross O’Dwyer, Co-founders of sports of Cork University Business School said: media platform Pundit Arena, 18 year “We are privileged that so many outstand- old Leaving Cert student Harry McCann, ing and talented individuals have chosen Founder of Kid Tech/ Digital Youth CUBS as their place of study and educa- Council, and 18 year old Conor O'Flation. This conference is another example of herty, Founder and CEO of Pursue, an inthe abilities and professionalism of our stu- fluencer management agency that works dent body. At CUBS we want to produce with video platforms in delivering begraduates who will be thinkers, shapers, spoke experiences and opportunities for designers and developers of the future – in- influencers and brands alike. dividuals who have a bearing on shaping The inaugural CUBS conference was Ireland’s future.” sponsored by the Irish Examiner, the Local Enterprise Office, and the Bank of The event saw keynote speeches from Ireland. For more information on Cork Organised by students in UCC’s Accounting and Finance, Business Information “CUBS is an engine for growth for the Graham Healy, managing director of Ac- University Business School visit www.

Systems, Commerce and Entrepreneurial region and is committed to enhancing the centure's Health & Public Service practice cubsucc.com Ciaran O’Halloran, Deputy News

Students vote for unity, against capitation fee rise

Michelle Beazley, acting-News Editor

Alongside the UCC Students’ Union elections held across campus on the 6th and 7th of March students were asked to vote on two referendums. It was announced late on the 7th that the referendum regarding the reunification of Ireland had passed, while the other referendum, concerning an increase in the capitation fee to fund more sports facilities, had failed.

The first referendum concerned whether or not the Students’ Union should campaign for the reunification of Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. A spokesperson for the campaign said, “[t]hose who are canvassing here today are doing so because they see it as a necessity that their students

union is recognizes issues and campaigns on them from an all-Ireland perspective.

We feel that the only way students’ needs can truly be addressed is by firstly achieving the Ireland we want to live in: one based on equality and fairness. This can only be realized by the reunification of Ireland. We feel that it is high time that the SU ... begin to lobby on behalf of students who signed this petition.”

3949 votes were cast in the unity referendum, had a total valid poll of 3883; 2450 voted in favour of the mandate, and 1433 voted against it. Similar referendums have passed in NUIG and UCD, and there is another vote due to take place in Trinity College Dublin.

The second referendum concerned increasing the student capitation fee by €50 in order to fund more outdoor sport, physical activity and recreational facilities. The proposal would have seen more physical activity and recreational spaces created near main campus, with open spaces like Perrots Inch and the Mardyke Gardens being highlighted as having potential for student activities. As it stands, the sports grounds at Curraheen Sports Grounds (commonly known as ‘The Farm’) will have to move due to the building of the Cork Science and Innovation Park on the current site. The proposal would have ensured that the facilities provided at the New Farm would be superior to those currently on offer, in particular the development of all-weather astroturf pitches and additional flood lighting,

so training could have continued during the winter months and into the evenings, as well as improved changing facilities.

Developments to the Mardyke Gardens under the proposal would have seen the construction of two new tennis courts owned

by UCC, a multi-purpose playing surface, cricket practice areas, and a large ‘chillout’ zone for use by students. To achieve these aims, the wording of the referendum also sought for the €40 of the capitation fee currently designated for the Mardyke Arena development project to be transferred to this particular project.

The referendum failed, with 3948 votes cast, a total valid poll of 3890, 1781 votes in favour and 2109 against.

Est.

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FEATURES

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

My Story

Cork Sexual Health Centre 16 Peter’s Street, Cork.

Mon-Fri: 9:00am to 5:00pm Phone: 021 427 6676 Email: info@sexualhealthcentre. com UCCSU Welfare Officer SU Building, College Road Phone: 086 383 6794 Email: Welfare@UCCSU.ie

Author Anon.

Ok, so I just want to start by telling you I found out I was pregnant the start of February. I was three weeks when I found out, and the Dad is one of my best friends. It was a once-off drunken night out thing, so I’m not in a relationship or anything.

I told him straight away and he didn’t take it well; he has always been against abortion, however he quickly changed his views once the situation was relative to him. He couldn’t process what I had told him, and kept making light of the situation and began insulting me, and getting defensive about nothing. So early on I decided to keep him out of the situation, which suited him fine.

I told him I’d make my own decision, and would let him know how I would proceed.

He did reassure me that he’d stand by whatever I decided, though I wasn’t very convinced by this.

The next morning I told my Mom. She got pregnant at 17, so I was fine with telling her as she knows what it’s like. She reacted, as I expected, with total disbelief, laughter, questions, and then the face drop. She also disagrees with abortion, but told me she would support any decision I made. Reassuring me that I wouldn’t be alone and that keeping it was of course an option I should consider, her words made me, for the first time, actually consider what my life would be like if I kept it. I went from 100% abortion to about 80/20.

I booked an appointment with the Sexual Health Centre the following week, and went there to discuss my options. I met a

woman named Irene, and she was amazing. The questions she asked me were non judgemental and thought provoking. By the end of the session I knew an abortion was the way forward for me. I never saw myself having children, and certainly not under these circumstances. For my own quality of life I decided it was the right choice for me. So she went through the options with me; different clinics, procedures, recovery times, costs, absolutely everything. She also asked me to return afterwards for post abortion counselling, and to tell her how my experience was. I plan on making an appointment with her next week.

I decided to go for the vacuum procedure in the Amsterdam clinic for several reasons.

First of all, I chose Amsterdam instead of England because of the stories of the girls who had abortions before, which Irene told me about; England takes in far more patients than Amsterdam. You have no bed or privacy in England, you are sat on a chair the entire day, and it was mostly bad stories that came from the English clinics. I even tried to call an English clinic eight times in one day, and not once could they take my call due to the high volume of callers. That almost settled it, England wasn’t going to be the right fit for me.

So I rang the Amsterdam clinic and got an appointment for the following week. The woman on the phone was so lovely, although her English was poor, and I spent about half an hour explaining my situation.

So I decided to go for the vacuum procedure under a general anaesthetic. I picked this over the pill option as I didn’t want to witness and manage the blood loss myself, like you have to in the English clin-

ics. I thought that experience would have been more traumatic and physically taxing, whereas this way I’m out cold for the procedure, it only takes half an hour, there’s very little blood loss and I’d be in and out in four hours (which turned out to only be about 2.5 hours). Also with the pill, you may still be pregnant and not know after you’ve gone home, as they don’t do an ultrasound after. It takes three weeks for the hormones to leave your body, therefore you could be carrying for a further three weeks and need a more serious procedure afterwards. The odds of this happening are slim, but I was more comfortable knowing that the doctor had full control of the procedure.

The week that I made the appointment I was so sick I missed three days of work.

Morning sickness was kicking my ass, and I hadn’t eaten in a week. I was six weeks pregnant at this stage. All my friends were just making pregnancy jokes at me; two of my best friends knew, as did my sisters. I found the jokes funny sometimes, but other times I took them to heart and found them quite belittling and upsetting. Either way, the three weeks in which I knew I was pregnant felt like a lifetime. I wasn’t thinking about it all the time, as I had just started a new job and was doing loads of training, so I guess I kind of distracted myself from the reality of it and kept in good spirits.

D-Day...

Myself and a friend flew into Amsterdam Monday morning, 6am flight. Landed at 8:30 local time, grabbed the train to central station and ran for a cab.

Continues on the next page....

UCC Health Centre Ardpatrick, College Road Mon-Fri: 9:00am to 12:15pm, 2:15pm to 4:15pm Phone: 021 490 2311 Pieta House Highfield Lawn, Model Farm Road Mon-Thurs: 9:00am to 8pm Fri: 9am to 6pm Sat: 10am to 2pm Phone: 021 434 1400 Helpline: 1800 247 247 Sexual Violence Centre Cork 5 Camden Place Mon-Fri: 9:00am to 5pm Freephone: 1800 496 496 Text Number: 087 153 3393 Email: info@ sexualviolence.ie Samaritans 24-hr Helpline: 116 123

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My appointment was for 9:30, but I didn’t get there till 9:45. There was no problem, they were still so accommodating. I was brought in immediately for my consultation (a friend can join you in here). General health questions were asked, as well as your reasons for wanting a termination.

She then did an ultrasound, and you have the choice to see the screen or not. I wanted to see it, so I looked and she explained exactly what I was looking at, and how the vacuum will work. After this consultation I was asked to get changed and move into the ward. Your visitor is not allowed in here with you.

In the ward there was ten beds in total, with curtains between each bed for privacy. There was only one woman in a bed when I went in there and she was in floods of tears. This scared the crap out of me. A lovely nurse came up to me and ushered me to a bed on the other side of the room.

She made sure, once again, that I wanted to proceed with the termination. After that she gave me painkillers and two tablets to dissolve in my mouth. These are used to soften your womb lining to help with the extraction. I was asked to lay on the bed for an hour while the tablet kicked in. She said I would experience bad cramps, and brought me over a hot water bottle to help with the pain. However, I felt no pain at all, no cramping; I was worried it hadn’t worked, but she assured me that the doctor would check before starting the procedure.

The doctor came in after the hour had passed, and led me into the theatre room. I sat up on a chair with the stirrups, and she asked me how I was feeling, asked me if I wished to proceed and detailed the procedure to me once more. Then I was out cold, and woke up half an hour later, back in the ward. When I woke up I felt fine, no discomfort at all. There was a cup of tea and biscuits waiting for me, so I scoffed them

down (you have to fast from the night before). The nurse came over to see how I was feeling, and I was perfectly fine. I then had to check my blood loss in the bathroom, and there was very little. I was told I had to wait a minimum of an hour before I could leave, so I just chilled out on the bed and read for a bit.

At this point the ward had filled up, and nearly every bed is in use. The woman next to me came out of the procedure room crying hard, and continued to cry right up until I had left. Women of all ages were there: teens, 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, everyone reacting differently and no patients talking to one another. If I can be honest, I was feeling so happy and relieved both before and after the termination. As soon as I saw how clean the clinic was, and how friendly the staff were I was at ease and relaxed. I wanted to skip out of there singing, but felt my emotions were disrespectful to these women who, perhaps due to different circumstances, were having a totally different experience to me. I left the clinic at 12:30.

They gave me painkillers for later, and the stomach cramps kicked in as I left. Now they were just like a bad period pain, and there was no major blood loss at all.

The procedure cost €620, adding flight and hotel costs to this (I stayed two nights) amounting to about €1000 total. My mum gave me a loan, I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise. You can fly back on the same day after the vacuum procedure, though not after the pill, but I wanted my friend and I to have some sort of a holiday out of this otherwise not-so pleasant clinic visit. I was out and about that evening, and the next day I was back to my own chirpy and energetic self. I honestly can say the day couldn’t have gone any better for me.

I know this isn’t the experience of every woman, but it was mine. I maintained a positive mental attitude throughout, and I

think that played a huge part in my whole experience going smoothly. I was glad I picked Amsterdam, and although it ended up costing me probably €400 more than England would have, I was happy to pay it for a better abortion process.

I have no feelings of regret... It was the right decision for me. I had all the support and resources I needed. I kept a level head and positive attitude towards the whole situation. It was definitely a nuisance to have to travel for it, and without my Mother’s support I don’t know how I could have funded it. My advice to anyone would be talk about it, to whoever you’re comfortable telling - the more I spoke about it the better I felt. Everyone will pitch in with their opinions, and the ones you love will only ever mean the best, even if what they say to you is a bit upsetting, funny, nonsensical or plain stupid. Don’t let people influence your decision, but do listen to others, as you’ll find they can actually have good advice or just comforting words.

I arrived home on

7

Wednesday 8th, the day of the REPEAL strikes. Reading everyone’s opinions and seeing the turnout at marches was incredible to me. I suddenly felt an obligation to get involved. I had had a sense of shame initially, before and after the abortion, but the demonstrations across Ireland on this day made me feel there was no need to be ashamed or uncomfortable to talk about my own experience. I wish I had someone who could have shared their story with me before I went for my abortion, but unfortunately people don’t feel comfortable talking about this topic. I understand privacy is important to many of us, but I want to be a person that speaks up and encourages other women to, not just to voice their opinions on the 8th, but to speak up about their experiences with past abortions of their own. Maybe if people knew that having an abortion isn’t as horrible as many may think it is, it could change the narrative a little. To think of it more as a gentle procedure and less of an arduous, painful, cruel and disgusting task to put your body through.

Est.

8

FEATURES

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

7 Things You ‘Realise’ in College 1997

Ciara Dinneen, Deputy Features Editor 7 Things You ‘Realise’ in College

by Ciara Dinneen, Deputy Features Editor Disclaimer: Yes, the title is a direct reference to Kylie Jenner’s infamous “year of realising things” statement which, although totally taken the piss out of, applies quite accurately to many of our First Year experiences in college. One could argue that our First Year of college is in fact the official year of “realising” stuff.

Or maybe it’s a total bullshit statement.

Either way though, we do learn an awful lot about ‘life and shit’ during our college years.

Before getting into the real shit about life and all its lessons, can we just take a moment... where the hell did the year go? It literally flew by. This is the second-last issue of the Express, we only have four weeks left of college before we are on Easter break and head straight into exams, and then begins four blissful (or possibly work-filled) summer months that will fly by just as fast, if not faster, than this college year has. Before we know it, September will arrive and we’ll be kick-starting another college year with Freshers week

again, a year older and, hopefully (though probably not a lot) wiser.

We still have a few more weeks though, so I can take a little bit of comfort in the fact that I have not yet completed my entire First Year of college. I have, however, already learned an incredible amount in my relatively short time here. I don’t mean about the subject matter or material on my course, I mean about life in general. And I’m not talking about anything too abstractly deep, I mean about the little things; about ‘how to adult’, how to be independent and do my own thing. I’ve learned so much about my friends, how people come and go, and I’ve learned a lot about myself. This sounds mightily philosophical, and I suppose I can’t argue that it isn’t at all, but I don’t think it is an entirely abstract train of thought to reflect on how much changes or to think about what we learn about life and about ourselves during our time in college.

it all sounds very basic and rather easy... but it’s not, is it? Don’t lie. You’ve hit the wall and wondered how the hell people do it, how does one ‘adult’? Don’t worry too much though, we’re all in this together, struggling just a little bit through the things that are supposed to come as second nature, figuring things out as we go.

If you run your own car now you’ll know the struggle of ensuring you have enough petrol/diesel to get you through the week, or even just to get you through that one trip to wherever it is you need to go and back again without running out of gas.

You’ll also know the struggle of having to make sure you put enough gas money aside each week; you don’t want to wake up Monday morning strapped for cash from your Saturday night out and realise that you never topped up your tank for the week ahead. Also, how the hell can such a small space get so messy so quickly? All the take-out coffee cups and McFlurry tubs do pile up…

1. Living is expensive.

So you’ve moved out of home. You’re on your own for the first time; getting yourself to and from college, making yourself food, doing your own shopping, making your own bed, doing your own laundry…

2. The Art of the Sesh.

Argh yes, the classic college experience; the going out, the drinking, the sex... College is the time for all the drunken mistakes, the learning your limits, the blackouts, the getting sick, the learning ways

to deal with hangovers that could kill, the dying at pre-drinks, the learning where to go and when, what ID to bring and what is best left at home. In college we learn our limits; we learn, through fairly tough trial and error, what we can and cannot drink, and how much we can drink before we cross that line into too-far-gone.

For the times that we do find ourselves having crossed that line and suffering the consequences, we learn the little ways we can deal with the day-after-hangover; the Lucozade, the gallons of water, the carby foods.

3. There’s no rush; we have so much time.

Sometimes I find myself panicking about how quickly time is going. I feel like I won’t get all that I want to get done... done. I feel like, before I know it, years will have gone by, and I’ll have failed to carry out all the plans I talked about with friends, the places we said we’d go to, and all of the things we said we’d do… but we quickly learn that life doesn’t work that way; we can’t fast forward to where we want to be. We can’t take and glimpses into the future to check that we are headed in the right direction to get us to where we want to be. All we can do is our lit-

FEATURES

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

9

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY Lorna Laurent

tle bit and take everything one step at a time. This goes for most things; working towards our dream career and getting to where we want to be. It even applies to friendships and relationships; you won’t always know where you stand with people or where you will stand with them in time.

There are no ways of getting guarantees or assurances that things will work out or that friends will always be there, but that is the magic of it, the wonder of our relationships with each other; they fluctuate and change and take the most unexpected turns, sometimes bad and upsetting ones, yes, but other times wonderful and exciting. Just take your time. What is meant for you won’t pass you; the people that are meant to be in your life will stay in some way, so don’t fight things too hard.

There is a certain amount of initiative and action needed, but at the same time, let things happen and roll with it.

“ All we can do is our little bit and take everything one step at a time. ” 4. People come and go; you discover who your real friends are.

So some friends from secondary school you kept in touch with, some you stayed really close to, and some you lost contact with completely, and that is totally ok. In college you form the real bonds, the bonds with the people who are meant to be in your life. There is a reason that you lost touch with particular people, and although there may be various different stories behind each situation, the main and most simple explanation is the fact that they just do not have a need to be in your life anymore. People come and go, and it’s those that stay, through all the falling-outs, the fights, the hardships, that matter the most.

5. Mum was right.

Although we may not like to admit it, mum (or ‘mammy’) was right about a lot of things; about how we’d lose some friends and make many others that will

perhaps become lifelong friends, about how expensive living is, about how cooking dinners and doing laundry is an absolute trek… If you are fortunate and blessed enough to have a close and positive relationship with your mum, your gran, or any woman you consider to be your guardian, value and heed her advice. It is truly a privilege and a blessing to be able to do so.

6. You’ve got to love (or at least like) what you do.

It is hard to imagine anything more disheartening and downright depressing than sitting through hours upon hours, day after day, week after week, of absolute irrelevant crap that you have not an inkling of genuine interest in. Why do that to yourself? Why put yourself through years of that for the sake of a ‘decent job’? I sincerely hope that every single one of you, whether or not you started off in the course you are currently in or whether you’ve only just started the course you wanted as a mature student after years of debate and hesitation, are doing what you want to do. I hope that you don’t dread the thought of getting up in the morning to come to college. I hope that, even though you may complain and give out about some of the more silly and seemingly irrelevant material, you love what you are doing and look forward to getting to where it will take you.

7. We’re all a little Clueless.

Although it may not seem like it at times, you look around at those around you and think to yourself “how is it that everyone else seems to have their shit together, yet I can’t even go a week without missing at least one lecture?” The reality is that we are all just figuring things out as we go.

I remember so vividly being a child and thinking, how do adults just know? How is it that they always seem to know what’s right, what to do and what to say? I would

wonder what it’s going to be like, to be all grown up and just know about things, know exactly what to do and what to say, and for it to all just come naturally. We quickly learn that this isn’t the case. We don’t always know what’s right, what to do or what to say; we are all just figuring things out as we go.

And so we’ll keep carrying on as we do, figuring things out as we go, and doing a bit of ‘realising shit’ along the way. Make the most of the journey, the experiences, and the build ups to things, even the little things. Enjoy the ‘getting there’, instead of feeling like you can’t and won’t be content until you do get there. You do not need to have everything in your life just right and perfectly balanced and completely OK to be happy. A little mess along the way is ok, and in most cases inevitable; it keeps us on our toes.

14th March: On this day in 1946, American author Ernest Hemingway weds his fourth wife, Mary Welsh. While Hemingway loved Mary, he distrusted her, and he may have been right to. Mary signed permission forms for his shock treatments at the Mayo Clinic and was publicly blamed for his suicide, as she (purposefully or not) left out the key to the gun storeroom the night of his death.

15th March: Julius Caesar is assassinated by conspirators (made up of a mixture of his close friends and enemies, and not just by Brutus) in 44BC. Believing Caesar’s dictatorial style would bring the Republic back to the Kings & tyranny of years gone by, the four ringleaders deemed that enough of the public would support this assassination. However, following Caesar’s death, the conspirators were not pardoned as they had hoped, and instead were condemned to death. Writings suggest that Caesar was aware of the plot against him and chose to die heroically instead of being consumed by the illness that had begun to take a hold of him.

How brave.

16th March: The 13th century saw the expulsion of Jews from Great Britain, as a direct result of ‘pogroms’ (anti-Jewish massacres) – the most intense of which occurred on this day in 1190. A fire which broke out in the city of York was used as a cover for an attack against the Jews in the city. They sought refuge in Clifford’s Tower, which was then laid under siege by the militia for several days before being set alight. Continues on the next sidebar...

Est.

10 1997

FEATURES

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

The week of 10,000 words - a slow decline into insanity Maeve Cooper, Features Writer If my friends are to believed, my worst vice is taking on too much. I do have a nasty habit of signing up for too many things, borne out of the years as a teen social outcast, when talking to me was akin to catching the ‘uncool plague’. Now I have a terrible fear of missing out, which manifests as my crippling inability to stop myself from saying yes to things. For the most part, it’s great; I get to do so many things and meet so many people. I’m very lucky. But trying to keep the show on the road while maintaining grades, a social life, a relationship, a job, extracurriculars and a chronic illness?

It’s definitely a challenge. Sometimes, there are weeks when everything comes together like a hurricane and all you can do is keep your head down and keep going. More than once someone has asked me what on earth am I thinking, doing all of this. Here is an insight into the constantly-racing mind of a girl under pressure.

Sunday - 8pm Ok, just home from work. I can do this! I’m not tired! I’m not tired at all... oh god, I’m so tired. No. NO! Your assignment is 1 week late, it has to be in before 11am or you’ll be docked 10%. Yeah, but I’m already being docked 5%... I can’t afford to lose another 5%, but I really need sleep. You know what is your friend here? A can of monster and

your sunlamp. Yeah, it’s for Season Affective Disorder, but it’s all about replicating sunlight, so it’ll keep you awake! Circadian rhythms be damned... I’m a terrible neuroscientist. Thank god I left. I love my college work now. Well, most of it. Well, some of it. Actually, I’m too tired to love anything right now. Why do I have that bloody job?

Oh yeah, rent is due next week. Fuck, must remember to insure my car too. Ugh, ASSIGNMENT MAEVE, COME ON, stop getting distracted! Okay, I got this. Here goes nothing.

Monday - 1am I spent the last 3 weeks researching and preparing one of the titles, and I just decided to change to the other one. Jesus Christ.

Why do I do this to myself?

Monday - 10.58am Aaaaaaand it’s in! Phew! Hang on, blackboard did accept it, right? It did, oh thank god. Ok, food. The key to a good all-nighter is a constant supply of carbs, both simple and complex, to keep your energy levels constant. I’ll just sit down for a second and watch some Netflix first, and then I’ll make breakfast, do laundry, clean room and meet my mom for tea.

Monday - 3.50pm Okay, so I didn’t get to the laundry and I have literally no clean socks left, but at

least I got see my mom. God, I haven’t been home in weeks. I miss home… ok, stop that. Back to work. And I have a lecture now, damn. It’s only ten minutes to the CEC from my house, though, right? I’ll make some tea and take my takeaway mug with me. Be grand.

need to rest my eyes for a second…

Monday - 4.12pm Why do I keep telling myself it’s 10 minutes when it’s always been 15-20? Okay, be cool. Oh, it hasn’t started yet- phew!

Tuesday - 12.30pm Ok, I’ll start now. Or soon, definitely soon.

I can feel a migraine starting, but I really can’t be sick this week. Where are my painkillers?

Monday - 7pm What date is it? When are those works awards due?! No no no no NO! Fuck. I’ll start now and finish it tomorrow. DAMNIT, I promised my editor I’d have the piece in for Monday. Ok, so do that now, I had notes... Where are my notes? WHERE ARE MY NOTES? Okay, breathe. You can do this from scratch. Inhale. Exhale. And type like your life depends on it.

Monday - 11pm Scene; woman in her early mid-twenties (I’m young at heart, okay?!) sprawled fully clothed across the bed. Laptop for a pillow.

Tuesday - 7am Is...is that… is that birdsong? What time is it? Why do I have the imprint of a keyboard on my face? Oh yeah, okay, works awards.

Yup, I got this. I’ll start in a minute, I just

Tuesday - 11am I blinked, how did I fall asleep for 4 hours?!

Okay, works awards. I have to get them done for 3, because I’m meeting ‘L’ for tea.

I’ll have breakfast first though.

Tuesday - 2.30pm Ok, first one mostly done. How many ways can I say I’m employable? Especially when I’m not? No-one will ever hire me. Oh my god, why am I doing this to myself?! Ok, positive thoughts. The keys to happiness are an attitude of gratitude and prosocial behaviour. I’m very grateful I’m going for tea with one of my best friends soon. Actually, now. Why do I have no clean socks? And where are my fucking keys?!

Tuesday - 4pm Library time, gameface on, time to borrow a laptop because mine is almost 7 years old, the casing is a damaged and I’m afraid to take it out of the house. Man, these were a fantastic idea. Wait, why are there no laptops? Damnit.

FEATURES

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express Made it! Just in time. I wonder what it’s about?

Thursday - 7.30pm Ok, time for a pint. Prosocial behaviour and some relaxation will do me a world of good. I just need to google this one thing before I put my phone away and be social.

Ok, just one more reference... there. Okay, now I can relax. Inhale, exhale. What are we laughing about? God, it’s so nice to sit down and just chat.

Thursday - 10pm Ok, I’ll just close my eyes for a second. The report is mostly done anyway, I can relax for a bit, right?

Tuesday - 5pm WOOHOO, FINALLY GOT A LAPTOP! Tuesday - 10pm Ok, works awards done and dusted, and right on time to go help ‘A’ move house.

Wednesday - 1am I should go home, but I need a break. Time to go for a spin. God the city is beautiful at night. Except for the lads peeing against the wall. Stay Classy, South Douglas road.

Wednesday - 4pm Made it to all my lectures today BOOM. I love our work psych lecturer. Maybe I should do work psych as a career? No, can’t think about that now, finish your practical report! It’s already 2 weeks late, it has to be in by Friday morning. At least SPSS is finally working on my computer, so I can stop traipsing home from the library at 1.45am.

I HATE STATISTICS SO MUCH. I’m doing everything the book says, and nothing is working correctly. UGH GAWD WHY. Okay, at least ‘A’ is going to run through it with me tonight, maybe that will help.

Wednesday - 10.30pm I have been making the simplest mistake all along, and that’s why it wasn’t working.

I’m an idiot. Stupid imposter syndrome, telling me I don’t deserve to be here.

I used to be so much quicker than this, what the hell happened? I’m so afraid they’ll throw me out.

ARGH NO. Snap out of it.

Existential crisis later, now it’s time to go home and finish the write up.

Thursday - 12pm I really don’t feel well. I think I might actually get sick. Why can’t I stop sweating? Stupid hot flashes. Stupid doctor who won’t look into it and told me I just had to suck it up. Niagara falls is flowing down my back. Ugh, god, gross. Ok, I need to leave this tutorial. I think I might vomit on the floor if I don’t go now.

Thursday - 2pm (working til 5.30 on campus) God, I missed working for this department.

It’s such a pity no one else is here, they’re such fun and they’ve been so good to me.

They’re so kind….why am I crying? Ok, crying because someone is nice to me is a sign I’m over-tired, I’ll try to get some extra sleep on the weekend. I really need to remember take my iron tablets more often.

And maybe some multivitamins too, I’m definitely starting to look run down again.

Thursday - 5.45pm WHY IS THE TRAFFIC SO BAD? I’m so going to be late for ‘E’s’ focus group. And she seemed so stressed when she asked me to take part. Damnit, now I’m going to be late.

Thursday - 6.15pm

Friday - 4am Did I fall asleep? TOO RELAXED, TOO RELAXED! Friday - 10.52am Report done. Hang on, why isn’t blackboard playing ball? Is it accepting it? Ok, never mind, must put finishing reports on essay for that award. NO, must submit report!

Friday - 1.30pm Ok, emailed tutor and attached copy of the assignment, just in case. Will deal with that later. Now to pretty up my last essay of the week.

Friday - 3.50pm I can’t write. This is utter tat, oh my god, I can’t do this. Actual journalists will read this and think... I don’t know what they’d think. I just wanted this to be perfect, it could be the start of something wonderful, but I have to go to work and I’m heading straight for the ball afterwards, I don’t have time to rewrite anything… I’m late to work I’ll sort this later.

Friday - 7.20pm Ok, make up on, jumpsuit mostly on, and my date just arrived. Time to cut loose and actually have fun for once.

Friday - 11.45pm DID I SEND IN THAT AWARDS ESSAY? Okay, sent. Thank god for smartphones. Why does gmail look weird?

Did it send? It looks like it sent? Ok, inhale. Exhale... Did someone say shots?

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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY CONTINUED...

These events were said to have put a Jewish curse on the city, only lifted

by Chief Rabbi Lord Jacobovits in 1990.

17th March: Everyone knows the story of St. Patrick: his introduction of Christianity into the country, his banishment of snakes from our land (although my experience of secondary school taught me he missed a few) etc, so I won’t bore you with the history of this saint. Instead, here’s a few people who were lucky enough to have their birthday overshadowed by an international celebration: the inventor of the motorbike Gottlieb Daimler (b.1834), singer Nat King Cole (b.1919), Thin Lizzy guitarist Scott Gorham (b.1951), followed closely by actor Kurt Russell a year later, and actor John Boyaga in 1992.

18th March: Tenochtitlan (now Mexico City) is founded on this date in 1325. Mexican religion maintained a prophecy that a wandering tribe would find the destined site for a great city when they saw an eagle eating a snake perched on top of a cactus, a scene now depicted on the Mexican flag. The Aztecs are said to have seen this image on a small swampy island on Lake Texcoco and, undeterred by the unfavourable terrain, set about constructing their city, which became the largest and most powerful in Mesoamerica..

19th March: Nelson Mandela divorces from his second wife Winnie on this date in 1996, announcing the end of one of South Africa’s greatest love stories. A glamourous and dedicated couple, both were fierce forces in the struggle against Apartheid. While her husband served 27 years in prison, Winnie was tortured, subjected to house arrest, kept under surveillance, held in solitary confinement for a year and banished to a remote town. Although Winnie was suspected of having an affair, and Nelson later remarried, their divorce seemed to be one of the most cordial in history, with Winnie paying daily visits to Nelson’s deathbed during his final days.

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SCIENCE

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

The psychology of road rage

Mary Collins, Features Editor Road rage is defined as a sudden violent anger provoked in a motorist by the actions of another driver. In America, 1500 are killed every year as a result of it. What is it about giving someone four wheels on an engine that turns the most placid of us into screaming, red-faced miscreants willing to get hurley out of the boot and swing for someone?

What provokes road rage varies around the world? In Australia, jaywalking makes people’s blood boil. In Ireland, it’s cyclists (and now you can’t get within 6 feet of them!). Road rage has attracted media headlines since the mid-90s, but there are few in-depth studies into how people incorporate the overall concept of road rage into their own experiences. When asked, many condemned the practise, as it challenges the concept of a civilised self, according to (Lupton, D. 2001). However, this didn’t translate into other people’s behaviour, and many accepted the expression of road rage as normal in an urban context, combined with stress. This feeds into the prevailing theory that road rage is caused by overcrowding. Rats are happy enough in a cage until there is one

too many, then they turn on each other and the fur flies. There are more people on the roads now than ever before, so people feel claustrophobic. In such an enclosed environment, every transgression by other drivers, whether it’s real or down to your own faulty perception, suddenly becomes overwhelming.

How do they justify treating/speaking of others this way? They dehumanise the person, they don’t even see the consequences or the victims as people with real families and lives. Road ragers are vindictive, a quality most people would take offence to. The more extreme cases of road rage (physical confrontation) have also been positively correlated with domestic violence.

How do we quantify such an abstract occurrence? (Deffenbacher et al., 1994) developed a scale that is still widely used today. It comprises of “six reliable subscales involving hostile gestures, illegal driving, police presence, slow driving, discourtesy, and traffic obstructions.” All of these things positively correlate together, providing a damning picture of the kind of person who participates in the more gruesome sides of road rage. According

to this scale, men were more likely to get angered by slow driving and police presence. Women were more likely to get angered by obstructions and illegal driving.

Overall, both sexes were more likely to experience road rage.

If road rage is a natural consequence of over-crowding, how do we help people cope with it? In 2006 a group of clinical psychologists lead by Galovski in Washington D.C. came up with a concise cognitive behavioural therapy that was proven successful in both court and self-referred participants. This multidisciplinary approach seeks to understand and dismantle the road rage, not just ignore it. Watching yourself to see what makes you angry and why is the first step. Things like deep breathing exercises can also help. Getting enough sleep, playing calming music, even keeping photos of your family in the car to remind you of what’s really important, these are all methods used to combat it. Remember, road rage doesn’t come cheap; speeding tickets, increased insurance premiums, getting points on your license are all real possibilities. Chronic stress is known to have serious health ramifications down the line too. Is it really worth putting your health on the line for

the sake of being right?

Road rage, like many things, is a spectrum.

When we say road rage, many think that it’s two drivers pulling into the side of the road and beating each other with whatever they found in the car. This is distancing us from the reality; every time we feel a flare of anger at someone else on the road, every time we drum our fingers in irritation or mutter a swear word at that “useless bitch” ahead of us who totally could have made that orange light, we’re sliding into road rage.

Sources • Galovski, T. E., Malta, L. S., & Blanchard, E. B. (2006). Road rage: Assessment and treatment of the angry, aggressive driver. American Psychological Association. Chicago

• Lupton, D. (2001). Constructing’road rage’as news: an analysis of two Australian newspapers. Australian Journal of Communication, 28(3), 23.

• Deffenbacher, J. L., Oetting, E. R., & Lynch, R. S. (1994). Development of a driving anger scale. Psychological reports, 74(1), 83-91.

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issue 11

Volume 2

Editorial

14

14

they can change your life without really trying.

Making Friends with Salad As of writing this, I’ve been playing at being a vegetarian for four days.

Yes, I decided to give it a go, partly because I like animals and partly because I wanted to see if I could do it. It’s actually quite easy, as it goes. There’s a bean for everything now, and garlic bread and potatoes are both vegetarian, so you don’t need much more. Will I keep it up? Who knows, but I’m feeling quite positive about the whole thing.

It’s often been said that the world is a mean place, but we often don’t need to look too far to find some kindness in it. There’s kindness in the little favours we do for each other, there’s goodness in the way we interact, and these are things worth saving, preserving, and continuing - those times a stranger let you pet their dog, for example, or whenever your friend sends you a meme they think you’d like. It’s all done out of love.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without the people I’ve somehow convinced to put up with my nonsense for any significant period of time, whether they be in the past or in the present. Our friends influence us to a point where we even start mimicking their speech patterns, and yet we still manage to remain individuals in our own right; we just band together because we’ve figured out that these people are some of the greatest kindnesses we’ve been granted on this mess of a planet. We’d do well to appreciate each other, I think.

So, without getting too mushy about it, this is both a thank you, and a reminder. To all my friends and acquaintances and interesting people I’ve conversed with on public transport - but mostly the friends - I say you are the best beans in the tin; the goodest eggs in the carton; the sweetest strawberries in the punnett, and I am eternally grateful for all you are. To everyone else, this is a reminder to take the time to appreciate the people you call friends. Make sure they’re doing OK today. Maybe send them a meme. There’s a great one of Danny DeVito with an egg - actually, no, I’m not going to start making I’ve been thinking a lot about friends meme suggestions in my editorials, lately. Not the programme, although that’s going way too far. The point is, as time goes on it does worry me how appreciate each other, as I have appremuch of myself I see in Chandler. ciated you.

I mean friends as in buddies, pals, broskis and sisters (not just cis-ters). Now go and enjoy the magazine, you I’ve been thinking about the people nerds.

I’ve surrounded myself with and the people I’ve worked with and the people I exchange time with. Friends, when you find good ones - and I have - are the most powerful people on earth; Speaking of feeling positive, I was having a devil of a time trying to come up with some witty observations for this editorial, until I realised I don’t have to be witty and observant when I have the rest of the fabulous Byline staff to do it for me. At the end of the day, these little snippets are just something we tack onto the first page to provide an introduction to the important part of the magazine - namely, everything else that’s in it. We’ve got quite a team of talented folks here, it has to be said, and I’m proud of and grateful to every last one of them.

Lauren Mulvihill

HOROSCOPES Aries (Mar. 21st - Apr. 19th) - The stars wish to ask you “what’s cooler than being cool?” They said “ICE COL-” Lucky lawsuit of the week: Copyright infringement.

Taurus (Apr. 20th - May 20th) - It’s ball season, so remember, you may be able to hide your sneaky naggin, but you’ll never be able to hide your shame over those dance moves you thought were cool at 1AM. Lucky ‘OMG TUUUUUNE’ of the week: Euphoria, by Loreen.

Gemini (May 21st - June 21st) - “Not all geminis” you yell, as you prepare for the stars weekly bollocking. The stars feel for you - both your faces look so stupid.

Lucky social group of the week: Meninists.

Cancer (June 22nd - July 21st) - Did you know camels evolved in really cold environments, not warm ones? Like, Arctic Circle type climates. This has nothing to do with your future though… or does it?

Lucky Black Eyed Peas song of the week: My Humps.

Leo (July 22nd - Aug. 21st) - Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the pain of existence, amirite ladies? Amirite?

Lucky philosopher of the week: Nietzsche.

Virgo (Aug. 22nd - Sept. 22nd) - I know you didn’t vote in the elections. You can’t lie to old wise Greg. What ever happened to Virgo-ing to the polls, huh?!

Lucky result of the week: The Presidential election, because you may have another chance to not-vote.

Libra (Sept. 23rd - Oct. 22nd) - You gorged on free food during elections and

with Mystic Greg

now you’re full of regrets (and doughnuts).

At least that referendum failed, so that €40 is definitely still going to the Mardyke.

Lucky realisation of the week: You just realised that referendum asked you for €90 total, not just fifty.

Scorpio (Oct. 23rd - Nov. 21st) - You will feel overcome with the urge to fight someone during the coming weeks. Don’t ignore it. Prepare for battle. The stars believe in you.

Lucky oddly suggestive phrase of the week: Bite me.

Sagittarius - (Nov. 22nd - Dec. 21st) - You are like a smol tiny birb. Little birb. Good birb. Stars will protect you sweet birb.

Lucky noise of the week: Peep.

Capricorn - (Dec. 22nd - Jan. 20th) Not everything is about puns, or memes.

Sometimes things are about puns about memes. Meta.

Lucky meme variant of the week: Wot in star-nation (geddit, stars?? I suck).

Aquarius - (Jan. 21st - Feb. 19th) - What the heck even is your sign, man? This isn’t a horoscope, this is a callout. It includes ‘aqua’ meaning water but it’s an air sign???

What the frick dude???

Lucky feelings of the week: Confusion and rage.

Pisces - (Feb. 20th - Mar. 20th) - Do you ever see those fucked up looking scary toothy fish in the English Market? The monster looking feens? Go to them. They have a quest for you.

Lucky amulet of the week: the sacred amulet of Rex Khan Ra - follow the clues from the spooky fish to claim your destiny.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

1515

Robert, Acton, Ellis, Currer, and George: Female Authors and Male Pseudonyms.

“

“

...was told by her publishers that young boys would actively choose to not read books written by a woman.

the reception of her novel with her as its author. In The Biographical Notice of Ellis and Acton Bell, Bronte writes: “Averse to publicity, we veiled our own names under those of Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell...we did not like to declare ourselves women, because...we had a vague impression that authoresses are liable to be looked on with prejudice; we had noticed how critics sometimes use for their chastisement the weapon of personality, and for their rewards, a flattery, which is not true praise.”

The disheartening contrast in critical reviews of her novel before and after Currer Bell was revealed to be the female Charlotte Bronte unfortunately gives validation to her thoughts.

Sarah Ryan, Byline Associate Editor

actly they made the difficult choice of publishing under a name that was not What’s in a name? Well, if you’re ask- their own. ing J.K. Rowling or Charlotte Bronte, a name can mean anonymity, creative Charlotte Bronte/Currer Bell freedom and a fresh start. Female Perhaps the most well-known of all authors have long used male or gen- pseudonym-users, Charlotte Bronte is der-neutral pseudonyms when releas- celebrated today for one of her many ing their work into the public sphere, great novels, star of an eye-watering and though it was typically used pre- number of adaptations, Jane Eyre. dominantly to escape female stereo- Bronte, like her sisters Emily and Anne, typing, it is a practice that still contin- opted for a male pseudonym, Currer ues today. There are many reasons an Bell, in order to escape prejudices held author, regardless of gender, may opt against female writers at the time. And for a pseudonym, and in this issue’s who can blame her? Told by scholar Arts and Entertainment section we’ll Robert Southey “literature cannot be be looking at five of the world’s most the business of a woman’s life,” Bronwonderful female authors, and why ex- te wasn’t exactly given much hope for

crime than in a lace nightgown, with a cigarette in hand?)

J.K. Rowling It’s widely known now that J.K. Rowling chose to publish her first book that came after her phenomenal Harry Potter series under the male pseudonym Robert Galbraith. Rowling stated her reasons as: “I was yearning to go back to the beginning of a writing career with this new genre, to work without hype or expectation and to receive totally unvarnished feedback.” This is all very fair, and while her decision to go by the pen-name Robert Galbraith did not seem to be motivated by gender, the author’s choice to go by just her first two initials and surname for Harry Potter, was. Rowling, whose June Tarpé Mills/Tarpé Mills Amidst the horrors of the war era of full name is Joanne Kathleen Rowling, the 1940s, June Tarpé Mills became was told by her publishers that young a shining example of the wonders of boys would actively choose to not read girl power. A talented cartoonist and books written by a woman. Thus the passionate story teller, Mills began to global brand of J.K. Rowling came to draw and market her own cartoons, be. which included the likes of the fiery Miss Fury and Daredevil Barry Finn. This is just a small fraction of many feMills’ work, especially Miss Fury, was male authors who have chosen to go by a smashing success for Marvel comics, male or gender-neutral pseudonyms, and June Tarpé Mills became the first and it’s clear from this list of brilliant woman to ever create a female super- writers (as well as the many who have hero. Despite this however, the car- been omitted including Mary Ann Evtoonist worried about how her work ans/George Eliot, Anne Bronte/Acton would be received if it became known it Bell and Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupwas created by a woman. So, she signed in A.K.A George Sand, who was as fanher comics using only her middle and tastic as her name is long. Sand was nolast names: Tarpé Mills. Tarpé Mills’ torious for not giving a fuck, wearing true identity was eventually found men’s clothing, her unladylike habit of out, but Miss Fury remained an adored smoking in public, and not-so-secret comic book, featuring the courageous love affairs with like, Chopin, among hero always clad in styles that were at others) that names and biological sex the height of fashion in the 40s (but are boringly unimportant in the face is there really any better way to fight of great art.

Film & TV

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16

Movie Recommendations: I’ve been so stressed with college recently that I haven’t watched a film in ages, so I’ll say go watch some of our newly crowned Academy Award winners (unless it’s stellar Oscar winner Suicide Squad, fuck that).

Paying for Gold

New to Netflix: At the time of writing, Young Offenders has just been added to Netflix’s exponentially growing catalogue, so if you haven’t watched it (even though I’m pretty sure it’s still playing in Mahon Point) it might be worth a watch. Also I have to mourn the fact that Community is no longer available; why didn’t you renew it, Netflix? Was it to make me upset?

Just Out: Kong: Skull Island has just shipped into cinemas, but it’s meant to have character development on par with The Room, so it’s your call if you want to watch that one. Beauty and the Beast is also about to land, and that looks like it’s going to make an absolute fortune. Also I forgot to mention Logan in the last issue, that’s a good ‘un.

People of the Week: Rob (Editor), Beth (Designer) and Lauren (Byline Editor): For being totally cool with me submitting my section late because I had to put my cat to sleep this week (well, last week by the time you’re reading this) so I couldn’t write my section through tears. Thanks for the extension!

Aaron Frahill, Film & TV Editor

As another award season closes, I needed to write a token article about it in some form; this isn’t an “Oh, they bottled Best Picture” article or something similar, but it is an attempt to address the disillusionment we have with the whole idea of awards, and re-define what an award winner is. I am a hypocrite in writing this, but I love award season: from the acceptance speeches, to the anticipation of award winners and the plot twists, the whole thing is just great... but what if I told you that the idea of the best film winning an award based on merit is as fictional as the majority of films nominated? The winners of big awards don’t usually have to depend on who has the largest budget, and while some may consider that quality is shining through in the end, the factor that typically isn’t considered is advertising, which lies outside of a film’s budget. Awards are actually nothing more than having an advertising budget for a very small subsection of the market, and that plays a big part in deciding who the esteemed members of the industry are.

“For Your Consideration:” that phrase that studios use in advertising campaigns coming up to award season has a specific function – to draw votes. And while that may sound all well and good, it extends beyond ads - they look at who is entitled to vote on the awards and sends them gifts - while this may sound like bribery, it isn’t considered bribery in the industry. In instances where the voter base is quite large, the media can play an important role – if you think about it, the actors who dominated the media won Best Actor at the Oscars for the past two

years. Casey Affleck had been talked about for months leading up to award ceremonies as the one to beat, and you’ll notice the traction in talk of allegations came very late in award season (likely after voting for such awards had closed). Another case is Leonardo DiCaprio last year, with a consistent narrative of ‘Leo has to win gold this year’ being ever-present. If you think of the last time Leo lost, it was to Matthew McConaughey, who had been hyped up the year he won too.

And while the argument will likely be made that they all had the best performances in their respective years, you cannot deny the media presence and discussion they had around them.

“they look at who is entitled to vote on the awards and sends them gifts” I would argue that the Golden Globes are slightly less prestigious than the Academy Awards currently, but the issue with the Golden Globes is that the Hollywood Foreign Press are the only people entitled to vote on these awards. There are only 87 members, so they can be specifically targeted with gifts. It is common knowledge among those in the industry too, and bringing the likes of Denzel Washington to meet those who are voting acts as a ploy to gain votes. There is no prime evidence of a voter admitting to voting a certain way because they received a gift, but looking at the winners and losers raises serious questions - I won’t question the quality of La La Land, for example, but when it comes to the likes of Crash it becomes a bit more difficult to make an argument that it is the best film

of that year. Studios can spend up to $10 million on these campaigns to try and gain nominations and awards, as it does boost revenue (there’s a reason La La Land only came out in wide release in January here), so there is an incentive for them to spend on the campaign.

“Studios can spend up to $10 million on these campaigns to try and gain nominations and awards. ” Spending money on an awards campaign doesn’t guarantee success, but if you are relying on the sheer quality of acting or production of a film, that simply isn’t enough.

When these snubs occur when nominations are released, there is a good chance that it is down to the studio not spending enough on a campaign, rather than, for instance, the Academy hating Amy Adams. It is a question of ethics and morals, but the industry has kept it hidden unless you go searching. I think it leaves you with the question of how Award shows would be received if the public actually knew what it took to win an award.

1717

FILM & TV Editor - Aaron Frahill

The Unfunny Comedy Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief

I don’t think it’s a controversial statement to say that most people like to laugh; you feel happier, you’re having fun, and if I really have to explain the concept of laughter to you, then you may want to do something different than read this article. When you talk about film, and television to a lesser extent, and you talk about laughing at films, t h e genre synonymous with this is comedy.

Comedies are often judged on their ability to make people laugh: surely if a comedy fails to make someone laugh, it’s a total failure?

Making someone laugh, for some reason, i s

sometimes seen as something cheap,

or easy, which is why comedies don’t tend to do well at the Academy Awards, and only the slightly off-brand equivalent, the Golden Globe awards, have a specific category for comedies.

Recently I was listening to a podcast called Cinema Swirl; the podcast is hosted by two friends, Sam & Kefin. One is a proper film buff, and the other ‘just hasn’t seen any of them films, mate’. Each episode they watch a film that you’d assume everyone has seen, but somehow Sam has gone twenty-odd years without catching them. Films they’ve reviewed include Star Wars, The Big Lebowski, Back to the Future, the Passion of the Christ and, most recently, The Blues Brothers. Most of the time, shock, Sam enjoys the film classics Kefin has put on for him, but from time to time the old standards just don’t hold up.

The reason I randomly bring up this podcast (which I heartily recommend, by the way) is because of their latest episode. Blues Brothers is one of my favourite films, partly because of the fantastic writing, but also because I’m a massive fan of blues music, and any film with a John Lee Hooker cameo is alright with me. Sam did not like the Blues Brothers as much as I did, and a constant thread through their discussion was the amount of laughs. Listening to this, I found myself in a similar position to Kefin, ques-

tioning my love of this cinema classic. So I went home, dug out my dvd and watched it.

Generally, we don’t hold rom-coms to the same standard as we do outright comedies.

For the most part we actually expect them And I loved it as much as I ever had. May- to be bad. If a romantic comedy is good be it’s because I get more out of the cameos enough it can be granted drama status, and and minor characters of rhythm & blues be accepted weirdly as a higher artform. It’s legends, but I don’t think that’s what it is. not something we do knowingly, for the I had never been mindful before of how most part, it’s inherent, subconscious, and much I laughed during The Blues Brothers, it’s a little off point, but it goes to proving but this time it was definitely in the back how weird & vague the comedy label is. of my mind. I laughed three times. Three… but it didn’t bother me. The writing was the The lesson to be learned same, the acting was the same, and I enjoyed here, if there’s a lesmyself. Despite the lack of laughter, it was a son at all, is to not great film - a great comedy film. pay too much attention to what This is why it’s dangerous to write comedy genre a film is films off as something that’s just there to when watchmake you laugh. Some of the worst com- ing it; edy films out there are films that try too good hard to make you laugh, hell, a lot of them succeed in jostling your jollies but they’re still terrible films. If comedy is the opposite of drama, and drama is the serious artistic genre, then comedy could be defined f i l m s as lighthearted. Comedies can be very very a r e dark, but they typically ultimately turn out g o o d , positively for the protagonists (or at least b a d the viewer). Another example of a relatively films are laughter-free comedy is The Big Lebowski. bad, funWhile there are some laugh-out-loud mo- ny films are ments in ‘Lebowski’, it’s really its clever and funny. acerbic writing that shines through, and the same can be said for the Blues Brothers.

MUSIC

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18

Beginners guide to: Grime acts: 1. Stormzy 2. Skepta 3. JME 4. Section Boyz 5. Giggs 6. Krept and Konan 7. Wretch 32 8. Ghetts 9. Dizzee Rascal 10. Lady Lushurr

Kanye Story of The Week: Whenever an artist samples another in their music, they have to ask permission from the original writer to release the song in order to make money from it. On his song “School Spirit” Kanye sampled Aretha Franklin and therefore needed to seek her permission to use her voice in the song. Franklin only agreed to clear the sample if all the curse words were removed. Kanye censored the track (even for the explicit version) and the song went on to become a fan favourite.

Non-censored versions can be found online.

Albums Coming Soon: • • •

Damage and Joy - The Jesus and Mary Chain The Afterlove - James Blunt (24th March) Life Love Flesh Blood Imelda May (7th April)

If any band or act would like the chance to have songs and EPs reviewed, or would like an interview, please contact Cailean at Music@uccexpress. ie.

UCC Battle of The Bands Review J.J. Lee, Music Writer

The 2017 UCC Battle of The Bands was chocked full of variety, insatiable talent and even the odd splash of rock star theatrics.

From instrumental metal-core, to ambient indie, to men in their late 20’s dressed in drag, this year’s tournament was astonishingly diverse. The students of UCC graced the stage at Cyprus Avenue to produce 5 weeks full of stellar musicianship and entering to the track, it feels like Stormzy’s mo- tainment. Deservedly emerging from the ment, his time to take a moment and soak highly competitive individual heats were it all in before continuing to take over. On Locally Known, Run Down Washington the whole project, there is only 9 out of the Street, Dry Roasted Peanuts and Aponym.

16 songs that could be considered grime or rap, the highlights of which are the These four bands went on to concoct a hard-hitting opener “First Thing First” frantic atmosphere within the walls of the and the two album singles “Big For Your Avenue; Locally Known took to the stage Boots” and “Shut Up.” The remaining 7 first with their unique brand of red-bloodtracks are slow recollections of his rela- ed hard rock, tinged with an almost baltionships with his mother & girlfriend, his lad-like feel. Run Down Washington Street faith and his battle with depression. Songs have become somewhat of a staple of the such as “21 Gun Salute,” “100 Bags” and Cork music scene, and did not disappoint “Blinded By Your Grace” take the emo- on the night, coming to the table with pop tions of vulnerability that grime as a genre punk influenced thrashers but with a nooften tries to bury and puts them straight ticeable maturity to them, even incorporatunder the spotlight. Everything about this ing the use of keys into their set. Aponym’s release is well thought out, considered set is only comparable to that of a stage -5 and approached with care. The album is hurricane sweeping through the crowd; perfectly laid out, with both slow and fast destructive riffs coupled with infectious numbers spaced evenly, and songs flow- grooves naturally enough led to an array of ing seamlessly from one to another. This t-shirts being discarded and heads thrown album does not feel like it’s an hour long, back & forward in unison. Eventual victors which is a testament to Stormzy’s ability Dry Roasted Peanuts were undoubtedto keep you entertained, even on repeated ly the stand out act; the three piece could be described as Vampire Weekend meets listens.

Morrissey, but even that would be doing This album is a statement of intent, a them a disservice. They engaged the crowd statement of change and the passing of the with their relatable and energetic set-list, torch for the king of Grime. This album and were duly awarded the grand prize of is the beginning - in 10 years time this al- €600-recording time with Blackwater Stubum will be one of the biggest inspirations dios. for all hip-hop acts both in the U.K. and the The sheer standard of talent that was on disU.S. It’s recently become the first grime play is indescribable. It’s safe to say that the album to go to number one in the U.K. al- Battle of The Bands is one of the highlights bum charts, and it was also number one in of the college year, and 2017 did not disappoint.

Ireland. This is only the beginning.

Stormzy writes a grime classic on debut LP Cailean Coffey, Music Editor

There’s a monologue moment about three-quarters through this album, where the grime MC known as Crazy Titch (who was incarcerated for murder in 2005) can be heard over the phone giving his opinion on Stormzy’s rise to the top, where he notes that “if you cannot fathom that this guy’s about to take it from a second rate genre to a first rate genre then you need to look at yourself and be ashamed.” Besides showing the respect Stormzy has earned from the elder generation of grime acts, it also acted as a premonition: If you are unable to see that this album is the start of a wave of high profile grime and hip-hop acts both in the U.K. and Ireland then you should be somewhat questioning the way you consider music’s impact on society.

Throughout this album’s hour-long running time there are moments of heartbreak, depression, loneliness, aggressiveness and anger. The most prominent theme of the album, however, is faith. The faith Stormzy and his family have in God, the faith Stormzy’s mother has for him, the faith Stormzy has for his girlfriend and the faith that Stormzy holds for the people he grew up with. The highlight of the album is “Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2” and it is, coming into this album, the last thing anyone could have predicted Stormzy would do. From the gospel choir, the the Kirk Franklin- esque organs to the uplifting sense of triumph you get listen-

1919

music Editor - Cailean Coffey

Cork Producers Take A Step Out of The Shadows

Cailean Coffey, Music Editor

Everyone has their own definition of success. Some consider it passing a test, some think of it as getting through a really tough day without crying, others consider it helping a team win an important match, some see it as having a successful career and others think of it as the amount of followers they have on social media. One of the most important elements of success is that it’s self-defined. It’s individualised - only you can say what you consider successful and, more often than not, you could be incredibly successful and no one around you would ever notice. That’s most certainly the case for two of the most successful producers and beatmakers in Cork: UCC Students Adam Gould and Rob O’Halloran.

Adam (known as Nxstalgic) and Rob (known as Jar Jar Jr) have a combined listenership of almost 17,000 people on the music sharing website Soundcloud. Soundcloud is the go-to place for music creativity and has sparked the success of numerous bands and acts across the world, including Kygo and Chance The Rapper. The two have garnered a loyal fanbase, with Rob’s latest song reaching 12,000 plays in less than 24 hours. Upon meeting Adam or Rob however, you would never know: there is no sense of grandeur, just modesty - but how did they learn about producing, and how have they grown so successful at it?

Adam is the first to answer, saying “I was al-

“

“

trying to emulate the sound of the music I love and getting lost along the way, accidentally creating a sound of my own.

ways interested in the sounds that hip-hop and R’n’B artists would use in their songs.

After this I became very interested in beats and the production of the song as a whole and it kinda started from there.” Rob takes a moment to think, before replying: “Listening to gangstarr, hearing the way DJ Premier flipped samples into something completely new and being completely mind boggled as to how he did it. Then by some combination of events I gradually became aware of James Dewitt Yancey and his love children: Tom Misch, wun two, bsd.u and coryayo, to name a few, and since then I’ve been trying to emulate what J Dilla did almost 20 years ago. He still never ceases to amaze me, I still can’t touch him and I never will.”

Learning how to produce at the start isn’t always easy: there often isn’t someone around you who can teach you or show you how a turntable or mixing desk works, or how to loop samples. One of the most important developments, in terms of creating bedroom producers, has been YouTube.

With its wide range of tutorials, you could learn how to do almost anything in 20 minutes. Adam reveals that he learned how to produce; “[I] mainly learned how to make beats from listening to how other producers would make beats and a lot of tutorial videos,” while Rob learned by “trying to emulate the sound of the music I love and getting lost along the way, accidentally creating a sound of my own.” Both have taken

project file, when I am unable to seek out new samples. I’ll listen to what I’ve done with it and laugh. Listen back to the samMusic production has given both a lot of ple, hear it a new way and unlock the true opportunities. Both Rob and Adam have flipping potential of the track. This is how made friends that have helped them get some of my best stuff has been made.” to the upper level of the Irish production “Create your own sounds scene. Adam has also become part of the colin your own way and do laborative label known as Soft Boy Records, and Rob has produced for some of the bigwhat sounds good. ” gest worldwide producers on soundcloud.

It can, however, be difficult to be noticed as Making beats and songs is not as easy as it a producer among the sea of others across may sometimes sound. It can take weeks the world. Many use social media and act for a song to fully come together, and as their own PR man. Adam in particular when it does it often takes you by surprise saw it as very important for gaining folwhich direction it feels it should go. Some lowers.” “It’s vital, it’s really the only way I people follow strict instructions on how promote things if I do promote something. to write, while others take it song by song. I still love the idea of dropping songs out When asked about his process, Adam re- of the blue and the good ones catching on plies “I never really go into making a beat too, though, instead of banking on a song with any steps I think I should follow, but if you’ve promoted doing well.”

I’m working with a sample I’ll always chop that up first, and if I’m not working with a As the interview comes to an end, Rob and sample I’ll probably write a chord progres- Adam have begun talking between each sion to get things going.” Rob, on the other other, discussing different techniques, hand, has a very specific process, detailed equipment and producers they both know process, though one of the most important and love. As this interviewer begins to elements for him is the final step: “Create pack up, they are so entrenched by their your own sounds in your own way and do conversation they hardly notice. These are what sounds good. Don’t be afraid to sit two geniuses, finally meeting someone of on a beat for a while. I often find myself a similar mindset. They feel like the only unable to flip a track in the way I want to. people that matter in that moment, until When that happens, I save the project file, they step outside and disappear into the close down my computer and go to bed. shadows again.

Sometime later I’ll come back to that old inspiration from those around them and continue to do so to this day.

Interview

20

20

h t i w Interview

Niamh O’Reilly, Staff Writer

Ellen Murray is a 23 year old trans woman from Belfast, Northern Ireland. She is the founder and current chairperson of GenderJam NI, a trans youth charity, and she is the Youth Support Coordinator for SAIL, a trans family support organisation in the region. She specialises in healthcare and education advocacy, and is involved in policy work on trans issues at local, regional, national and international levels. She has twice been a candidate in the Northern Ireland Assembly elections, first in 2016 and then again in 2017, standing for the Green Party in Belfast West. She is a chronically-ill wheelchair user and electric bicycle rider, and is a keen infrastructure nerd. She has a

Ellen Murray

cat called Bilbo, who is more popular than her.

whose main axis of identity is not on the Constitutional/border issue.

You're just done running for election as a Green Party candidate in Northern Ireland for the second time. What's it like running in Northern Ireland for a party that is neither explicitly unionist or nationalist?

Running as a “non-designating” political candidate feels surprisingly normal, to be honest. Although many of the parties here do identify and campaign along “orange and green” or Unionist/Nationalist lines, my politics have never really aligned that way, and in reality, most people seem more concerned about their day-to-day political worries like equality issues, access to education and healthcare, and their ability to live happy lives. In many cases, the social divides along green/orange lines are relevant, but most people seem to treat non-sectarian and neither-Orange-nor-Green parties quite well. There’s a growing number of people who personally attach themselves to parties which do this – the Green Party, Alliance and others – as Northern Ireland moves further on from conflict and new generations of young voters come to political maturity. I hope it’ll continue to get progressively easier to be a political candidate

As a person who is both transgender and a sufferer of a chronic illness, how were you received politically? Did you have to put up with a lot of nonsense or were your constituents and running mates open and accepting?

I’m very lucky to have received relatively little abuse or harassment during my two campaigns to date. Last year, I was announced as the first trans candidate on the island of Ireland, and I got a fair bit of transphobic response to that. In the year since, I’ve started needing to use a wheelchair part-time, and this year has brought along some ableist responses towards that. Most people seem very keen to see atypical candidates, in all honesty, and being disabled and trans is definitely very atypical in Northern Irish politics! On the whole, though, I’m very lucky to have a strong support network around me, so I was able to put up with the bits of abuse I’ve experienced so far.

up to them and saying they voted for you, but it’s definitely a wonderful, if bewildering, novelty. The weirdest thing has to be the guy who insisted to know why I wanted to give heroin to children – the Greens are for decriminalisation of drugs and the treatment of addiction as a health, not a criminal, issue. Giving heroin to children is something else entirely, but he must have read into the policy a little too much. I won’t forget him in a hurry. I was also told someone has a shrine to two Green Party candidates in their hallway, one of whom is me. I definitely won’t forget that in a hurry.

There was a lot in the news about an escalation in xenophobia and hate crimes in England particularly after Brexit.

Have you seen much of that up North?

There has been an increase in hate crimes across the UK as a whole after the Referendum vote last year, and we have seen that in Northern Ireland as well. As always, it’ll take a while for the official figures to reflect this, but community organisations are seeing the increase already, and are doing more support work around hate crime and hate incidents already. This is likely to get worse as the EU exit continues, unfortunately.

What's the weirdest thing that was said to you or happened to you while running for election?

I don’t know if anyone in politics ever gets used to people they don’t know coming As well politics, you're also an estab-

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Interview by Niamh O’Reilly lished activist for transgender rights.

How did you get into activism?

I got into activism through necessity – I came out as transgender in 2013 when I was 19, and almost immediately got held up in healthcare services due to the Gender Identity Service [the clinic which supports trans people in NI] not having enough staff to take on new patients. I raised it with my MLA (my representative at Stormont) and got the Health Minister at the time to help out through the Northern Ireland Assembly. I was hooked, and went down the long road of advocacy work. I was always planning to be an electronics engineer – I ended up in activism purely by accident and by circumstance, but happened to love it much more than engineering, and also suck at it far less too!

You run two transgender advocacy organisations, SAIL NI and GenderJam, tell me about those. What do they do, and how do they differ from each other?

I founded GenderJam NI in 2013 as a trans youth organisation – we support transgender, non-binary, questioning and intersex young people aged 25 and under across the whole of Northern Ireland. We do everything from running social groups, having Dungeons and Dragons and film nights, giving out free safe chest binders and doing talks to schoolchildren. I started working with SAIL in 2015 and am one of their 4 voluntary Directors. SAIL is a family support organisation for trans people, though I don’t do family support work myself – I focus on young people almost exclusively.

The two organisations complement each other well, though, and many of our young people and families get support concurrently as they come out and transition.

What are the best and worst parts of working in transgender advocacy?

I absolutely love seeing the positive changes in people’s lives that we’re able to affect and enable – when young people come through the door shaking like leaves on their first visit, and six months later come crashing in with a gaggle of friends feeling on top of the world, that’s a beautiful thing to witness.

We get to see a lot of the good things in people’s lives, and the significant progression of people’s happiness when we’re able to provide support. One of the worst and most difficult things is seeing so many people struggling with self-harm, suicide and severe mental illness, most of which is caused

ment department in charge of benefits by a healthcare professional. In the Department for Communities’ eyes, I can walk 200 metres regularly and safely (not the case!) and do everything else in my life without assistance (not the case!), and all because of the way an assessment was carried out. Things like this are being experienced by thousands of disabled people across NI currently, but across the UK, 80% of denied claims are overturned upon appeal – something is afoot. It’s early days for PIP in Northern Ireland, so we’ll have to see. I’ve detailed everything that’s gone wrong with my case personally on my Twitter account.

by isolation, abandonment, discrimination and intimidation within society. It’s extremely difficult to make things better in a lot of situations, and it’s an awful feeling to have to accept that miracles can’t be worked. However, we’re thankfully seeing more and more people having positive experiences, and fewer and fewer those awful, traumatic negative ones.

“I absolutely love seeing the positive changes in people’s lives that we’re able to affect and enable.”

You suffer from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a chronic illness characterised by frequent dislocations, severe fatigue and heart issues. How does that affect your day to day life as an activist, politician, and cat parent?

Being chronically ill has forced me to really take my work and activism much more carefully – having to ration my energy and activities means I have to pick and choose what I do much more, and feel able to say no and turn down requests for work. I’ve learned to say no to things I don’t want to do, and I’ve learned how to navigate the healthcare system as a patient, which helps when advocating for other trans young people during my work. As a politician, being disabled has taught me an incredible amount about the importance of accessibility, of welfare and social supports, and of a healthcare system that’s fit for purpose. I’ve also met some fantastic disabled activists who’ve taught me endlessly useful things about the ethical and moral

necessities of politics, and how we need to approach issues around disability, poverty, isolation and ill health. As a cat parent, it’s made me be stuck in bed much more often, which my cat loves, as my chest is his favourite bed. Bilbo always keeps me company when my illness is flaring up.

Lately you've started a campaign of sorts surrounding mistreatment of claimants of Personal Independence Payment. How did that come about?

I applied for PIP (the replacement for Disability Living Allowance in the UK) in August 2016, and have recently been turned down for any assistance whatsoever, on the basis of false reports and an incorrect statement made to the govern-

Lastly, on a lighter note: How's Bilbo?

He’s very well. He’s currently out on the hunt, but as of yesterday he was very good and extremely fluffy. I look forward to exploiting his handsome face again for Twitter likes very soon.

We’d like to thank Ellen for doing the interview with us.

She can be found online at ellenmurray.co.uk or as @ellenfromnowon on Twitter.

GAMING

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Upcoming An Interview with CallMeKevin Releases Kieran Barrett, Gaming Editor

Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash It’s a game about busty ninjas holding a water gun tournament. I mean, that’s pretty much a marketing slam dunk right there.

Mass Effect: Andromeda Which hot alien will you have awkward, rigid sex with this time? YOU decide! Also, the galaxy probably needs to be saved from robot zombies or something. I dunno.

Kingdom Hearts Collector’s Pack: HD 1.5 + 2.5 Remix Kingdom Hearts is back with another crazy title! I could have made a typo in it and no-one would notice because they’d just assume it was supposed to look wrong.

MLB The Show 17 Another game about the only sport more boring to watch than cricket. Yeah, I said baseball is more boring than cricket.

Fight me.

liking that content. I want, kind of a new bit of identity, and to start anew basically.”

Content creators on YouTube are a dime Having been a fan of Kevin’s since his early a dozen these days, with the internet be- days with Machinima, I decided to reach ing completely oversaturated with as- out and ask him some questions about his piring Let’s Players, and it is very rare to experience as a content creator. find someone who can break through the mould. I recently got the chance to speak to Express: What made you want to start (and when I say speak to, I mean exchange making videos? emails with) one of my favourite content Kevin: I always loved the idea of creatcreators on YouTube. His name is Kevin ing videos and combined with my love of O’Reilly, and he is from Cork, though he gaming, it was a great opportunity at the is known in the YouTube space as ‘Call Me time. My first videos were little montages Kevin’. Some of you may be familiar with of gaming clips with audio clips from TV Kevin because you’re fans of his chan- shows and maybe voice actors to try and be nel, and some of you may remember him funny (They usually weren’t). It was really from his How to Annoy People series that fun to try and teach myself how to make featured on Machinima, one of the larg- those videos and figure things out as I made est gaming YouTube channels at the time. them. I had no idea you could make money The success of the original series was un- from it at the time, it was all just good fun! paralleled at the time, as Kevin points out himself: “The second episode got a million Express: Living in Ireland / Cork, who views within a week, at the time that was were your influences to start YouTube? huge!” That video now sits at over six mil- Kevin: At the time, I actually wasn’t aware lion views, with the full playlist of How to of any Irish gaming YouTubers, I really Annoy People videos having amassed over liked the crew at Machinima. Seannaners 70 million views by the time of writing. & Hutch were some of the first to do gamKevin emulated this success on his own ing videos and I think they inspired a lot of personal channel, which currently has people as well as myself. over 450,000 subscribers with 116 million views on his videos, though some subscrib- Express: What was it like making the ers may have left due to Kevin deciding to How to Annoy People videos? Did peostart afresh on a new channel, Call Me Kev- ple start to recognise you, and do they in. recognise you now?

Kevin: It was great fun, it got harder as peoThe final video he posted to his old channel ple started to know who I was. The second was on the 18th of October, entitled “Time episode got a million views within a week, to Start Again – New Channel.” The main at the time that was huge! Once a few more reason, as he outlines in the video, is he followed the same trend, a lot of players on wants to establish a new identity: Xbox knew me by my voice even if I had “I’ve been on YouTube a very different gamertags. Surprisingly people very long time, seven years still recognise me from that series! since 2009, that’s pretty crazy, almost to the month. Express: Has anybody ever recognised Yeah, in a few weeks it’ll be you on the street in Cork? seven years so that’s a very Kevin: It happens maybe once a month long time, and obviously where someone will come up and talk to my channel has grown a me, it’s always cool! It still always catches lot during that time but it’s me by surprise and there is always that isalso changed a lot during sue of “Do I know this person from somethat time. So, people who sub- where or do they know me from YouTube?” scribed to me many years ago aren’t particularly happy with Express: Do you watch a lot of YouTube new content I’ve been making in your spare time, and what are some and I want to focus on that new content of your own personal favourite YouTuand not worry about old subscribers not bers?

Kevin: I don’t watch a lot anymore sadly, H3H3 and VSauce are probably my favourites right now but there are so many great channels and content creators out there.

Express: What made you want to start a new channel and leave the old channel behind?

Kevin: I think it was time to start again, I really appreciate any support I get but it was hard to get any idea of what is going well and what isn’t when any subscribers you gain are cancelled out by closed inactive accounts.

Express: What’s your favourite game at the moment, or your favourite nostalgic game?

Kevin: Stardew Valley is my new drug, not normally my type of game but I just need one more hit and I’m off it for good, I swear.

Hype: The Time Quest was a game I played as a kid, not very popular but will always have a place in my nerdy gaming heart.

Express: So about your time with Machinima; what was it like working for them? Did they give you a contract, and if so can you tell me what kind of contract it was?

Kevin: I had and still have contracts with Machinima, they have always been great to me and the contracts can differ. Some are per 1000 views you get ‘x amount’ of money, some are entirely depending on the ad revenue brought in by Google.

Express: Were Machinima heavily involved in the production of your videos or did they allow you some creative freedom?

Kevin: Machinima have been involved with some content I have posted to their channel but mostly I’m in the driver seat and they have no input on videos that go on my channel. I think Machinima know it’s best to leave people make their own content!

Express: If you could give one piece of advice to someone wanting to start YouTube, what would it be?

Kevin: Do what you enjoy, it will crush your soul to try and force yourself to make content you don’t enjoy and people can see that in the final product.

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gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan

Countdown to Andromeda: Exploring the Galaxy Kieran Barrett – Gaming Writer

Mass Effect: Andromeda is almost here, and BioWare have released another in their series of gameplay videos, this time focusing on the mechanic at the heart of the new instalment in the franchise: exploration. A returning feature from the original trilogy is the Galaxy Map, which allows the Pathfinder to plot their course and scan for nearby anomalies from the safety of their ship, the Tempest. To quote the official Mass Effect website; “The story in Mass Effect: Andromeda takes place in the Heleus Cluster, a portion of space populated with dozens of star systems. You can navigate these systems using the Tempest’s onboard Galaxy Map and see everything that exists outside your ship’s many windows in real-time. Planets, moons, space anomalies, and starships will all be visible from the Tempest.”

In Andromeda, there will be over one hundred planets to discover, with a handful of these being worlds available to land on and explore on foot. Planets which are unavailable to land on will function similar

to the previous games, I imagine, offering the player opportunities to scan for resources and quest items. Each world that the pathfinder can land on is said to be vast and unique, with its own set of stories, characters and challenges to encounter.

BioWare have not given a concrete answer as to how many planets are actually available for exploration by the player, but in the Andromeda Initiative briefing it is said that there are seven “Golden Worlds,” which are planets with an environment capable of sustaining life. For on-planet exploration, BioWare have brought back the Mako, which was an all-terrain vehicle from the first game that divided opinion due to its less than stellar handling. The new and improved version, the Nomad, should make those long journeys across planets that much easier, as the Mass Effect website claims; “The Nomad, your all-terrain rover, is key for quickly covering the expansive landscapes throughout the Andromeda Galaxy. You’ll be able to enhance the Nomad with a series of functional upgrades designed to give you better Turbo Boost, higher jumps, better handling, and more.”

Horizon Zero

Mass Effect: Andromeda releases on March 23rd in Europe and I look forward to bringing you my final impressions once the full game is out. resources and improve your equipment.

Dawn Impressions Kieran Barrett, Gaming Writer

As a child, I was obsessed with dinosaurs.

The Jurassic Park movies instilled a sense of wonder in me that no other experience has replicated… until now. Horizon Zero Dawn takes place in a dystopian future where John Hammond, the fictional mastermind behind Jurassic Park, thought to himself “You know what would be cooler than dinosaurs? Robot dinosaurs.” To quote Jeff Goldblum’s character, Ian Malcolm: “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.” If life has taught me anything, it’s that Jeff Goldblum is always right.

Thus, the world of Horizon was created, with mysterious high-tech fossils of the Old Ones littering the landscape - the ruins of our real world. A distant future where civilisation has been reduced to ruin and robotic, prehistoric creatures now roam the earth.

You play as Aloy, whose role is an outcast in

IGN recently released footage of the first 13 minutes of the game and we see that the Golden World assigned to the human colonists is being affected by some type of infection. Long range scans had been sent out to determine the viability of the planets in the Andromeda Galaxy but it seems things have taken a turn for the worse during the course of the six hundred year journey.

IGN also showed off footage of the Nexus, which is the equivalent of the Citadel from the original trilogy. For those of you unfamiliar, the Citadel was a giant space station which acted as a trading hub for the player, but also held the galactic government which was comprised of the four main races of the game. The player will be able to earn Nexus points and upgrade the station as the game progresses, choosing to focus either on Science, Combat or Commerce. The paths you take will ultimately affect your relationship with the other races who may have a vested interest in one over the other.

a matriarchal society. She struggles with her own identity, striving to find out who her parents were and why she was abandoned at birth. She is placed under the care of Rost, another outcast from the Nora tribe, who teaches her to hunt and survive off the land, though she is aided by a device called the Focus which lets her interpret and interact with the world around her. At risk of spoiling the game, I shan’t say any more about the story, as it is genuinely intriguing, and I encourage those of you who haven’t played the game to experience it for yourself.

First of all, I want to mention how stunning this game is. This is the first game which I have been able to utilise my 4k TV to play, and the results were mesmeric. I genuinely spent an hour simply walking through the grass to see how it gave way beneath my feet, or looking at how the light shone through the branches of the trees. To my surprise, the game runs perfectly smooth when running at this higher resolution, and I did not notice any dips in performance. The world of Horizon Zero Dawn is vast and it offers plenty of quests, be they main quests, side missions or user created goals to hunt down

The main attraction of the game is obviously the robot dinosaurs, and to my delight they are as epic as I had hoped. The game has several boss battles, whether it be the first Sawtooth you face, which is the equivalent to a sabre tooth tiger, or the Thunderjaw, which is the Tyrannosaurus Rex of the robotic world - and like its prehistoric counterpart, it still reigns supreme. The game offers many approaches to combat; stealthily eliminating weaker enemies whilst laying traps to stagger and take down the bigger opponents, or going full Leeroy Jenkins and rushing into battle with spear in hand. Combat is fun and engaging and you can upgrade your abilities as you progress. Aloy can learn powerful new moves which allow her to dispatch of enemies quickly or create mayhem in the heat of battle.

Horizon Zero Dawn is emblematic of what the PS4 is capable of. In my eyes, it rivals Uncharted 4 as the best PlayStation exclusive of this console generation. I’m sure this is the start of what is to become a hit new franchise for Guerrilla Games.

fashion

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Style-ish Lauren Mulvihill, Byline Editor

What is the story with this trend for ripped jeans? It’s been ongoing for an age now. I feel like it’s meant to look a bit “devil-may-care”, y’know – like, we don’t play by your rules, man. You want jeans with all their fabric intact? What a friggin’ square.

I think this is a leftover of that grunge trend that came back into fashion a while ago.

All it left in its wake were these ‘distressed’ forms of pant and oversized tartan shirts, which some of you are calling ‘plaid’ shirts.

I have been spending quite a bit of time over the last few weeks searching for a pair of jeans that (a) don’t highlight how small my legs are, and (b) don’t have these stupid, goddamn tears and rips all over the legs. It has been harder than you’d think.

So I gave in, and bought a pair today.

I know, I know. I’m a sellout, and my knee is cold, but I don’t hate them. Plus they have pockets, which is no laughing matter when you’re buying women’s jeans. If I was being honest, I do see the appeal – particularly for warmer weather. You can just hold your knee up to the breeze and cool yourself down a bit without the rigamarole. I get it.

As I said, I see these jeans all the time walking around college, but I always reckoned it was more because that’s literally all the shops are selling these days. I’ve spotted very few identifiable trends among the student population, but I’d call this one. I’d also call those skinny-leg tracksuit pants that all the laaads are wearing a big trend, because seriously – it’s pervasive, but that’s pretty much it. I’ve never been a big follower of trends in the first place, so maybe I just don’t take much notice of what other people wear.

judge them if they turned up in, for example, a tracksuit or leggings.

Everybody makes snap judgements about other people based on what they’re wearing. We all do it, and we can’t really help it, unfortunately. What we wear is often a reflection of our tastes, and that line of thinking often leads to us presuming that their aesthetic preferences can tell us something about a person’s personality. This is understandable.

An issue arises when this external focus combines with internal prejudice on the behalf of the observer. When that happens, people convince themselves that a certain someone is going to act a certain way because they dress like a certain someone else, and they react to that person accordingly.

It’s a very common cognitive error that we make every day, but it’s still, at the end of Other people apparently take notice, the day, an error. You can’t deduce a person’s personality from the clothes they’re though.

I was scrolling through YikYak t’other day (I wearing. Obviously. know, I hate myself) and came across a very interesting thread about fashion in college. Yes, obviously, we all know this. And yet!

I don’t have screenshots because I’m not And yet. And yet we continue to do it. As one for foresight, but the gist of it was that much as we hate it when people jump to about seven different people were giving conclusions about us based on the way out about what they saw as a pressure to we look, we continue to do it to other dress nicely and do their hair and makeup people. And I don’t think it’s going to and all that jazz every day when they come stop any time soon. into college, because people would tend to

The thing is, if you’re going to get side-eyed no matter what you wear, why not just wear it anyway? The majority of people you come into contact with in any given day are strangers who’ll you’ll never see again, so frankly, who gives a shit about their opinions? If you’re comfortable, if you feel good, wear whatever you want – whether that’s a tracksuit or a ball gown, wear whatever you want.

Now, obviously, you can’t go from being self-conscious to being a radiant sunbeam of self-esteem overnight.

Speaking from personal experience, I can say that one of the best ways of getting to a place where you’re comfortable in

your own skin is just to let other people be comfortable in theirs. If you catch yourself making a bit of a sly remark about someone’s appearance, just stop, and think: why do I care? Why am I being an ass-noodle?

I mean, you’re still going to have to wear a suit and some sort of pants if you want to make a good impression at that job interview, and maybe don’t wear a bikini or Speedos to work if you’re a primary school teacher. Sometimes you might have to take other things into account, because that’s how society works, but in day-to-day life let’s just start livin’ and lettin’ live, amirite?

If you want to wear your fancy-ass ripped jeans, more power to you. The same goes for leggings or tracksuit pants or a banana suit.

We’re all going to die, so fuck it, frankly you do you. And let others do them. And let everyone do whoever they want to do as long as everyone involved has given their informed consent as an adult of sound mind.

So, to sum up: wear what you want. Also: don’t talk no shit, won’t be no shit.

You’re in college. Now is the time to create yourself (I mean, as is any time), so go ahead and live while letting live.

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FASHION Editors - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe and Iris Maher

Where is the Fashion Industry in Ireland?

Fashion by renowned Irish designers: Marion Murphy Cooney, Jill De Burca ,Simone Rocha and Helen Steele Iris Maher, Style Editor

Ireland is renowned worldwide for its art, yet this extends to things other than literature and paintings; Irish design is booming, from clothing to accessories. Irish clothing and fashion is travelling far beyond our little island, to all corners of the world.

These Irish designers are at the top of their game in their respective fields - below we may only offer you a taste of what the Irish fashion world has to offer, but hopefully this will entice you

to branch out and try something new!

“These Irish designers are at the top of their game in their respective fields.”

Kivneen Designs: Brid Kivneen is an Irish designer of hand-painted silk scarves. True works of art, with many inspired by her location in the west of Ireland. Clients can request a design, and though Brid loves to work with silk, she also offers a less expensive option.

Available at kiveneendesigns.com Chupi A range of jewellery often seen on top influencers and bloggers in Ireland, Chupi offers simple and beautiful pieces of jewellery available to purchase online. Every piece of jewellery from Chupi is designed, manufactured and produced in Ireland. Not only are their pieces stunning, but they’re also award-winning, as Chupi won Stellar Fashion Designer of the Year in 2014. Chupi pieces make great presents for birthdays, anniversaries or even for Mother’s Day (which is soon)!

Available at chupi.ie or at the Powerscourt Townhouse.

The Kinsale Leather Company A new venture that was founded in 2014 by

Dee Mandan. The Kinsale Leather company offers a range of bags to suit every taste.

Available at kinsaleleather.com and their shop in Market Square Kinsale. Further afield their bags are also stocked in Brown Thomas(Dublin) and Powerscourt Townhouse Centre

plete without a mention of Simone Rocha? As the daughter of acclaimed fashion designer John Rocha, Simone has not been overshadowed by her famous father. She made her first debut at London Fashion Week in Helen Steele 2010 and has not looked back Based in Monaghan, in a very unusual since, with her work being showplace: a converted duck hatchery. Her cur- cased in Vogue US and Dazed rent S/S 2017 clothing collection is modern and Confused. and bright, with eye-catching prints. This Simone Rocha’s clothing to corresponds to her own artwork which can available to be viewed online at be seen at her website, helensteele.com the website: simonerocha.com Stockists of her clothing include Costume You can buy her pieces which in Dublin, but her clothes can be found range from clothing to accessories across the globe, from Italy to South Korea. shoes from net-a-porter.com Marion Murphy Cooney Previously a couture designer, Cooney decided to launched a ready-to-wear collection in 2013 called MMC. Following this, The Design Atelier in Nenagh was opened, which not only showcased her MMC collection and couture, but also provides space for other Irish designers to sell their products, including jewellery and accessories.

Available at marionmurphyconney.com but also on Facebook at ‘The Design Atelier’.

and

Jill De Burca She recently moved back to Dublin to launch her own collection in 2014, after having previously moved to Brighton. Her style is extremely wearable, as it has a sporty edge. De Burca’s last collection for A/W 2016 had an incredibly youthful aspect to it, with star embellishments as a theme throughout. The collection was not overly fitted, and retained her signature comfy/ casual style.

Her work is available at the Powerscourt Simone Rocha Town Centre but also at the So Collective in What piece on Irish fashion would be com- Kildare Village.

Humour

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Headlines Weather: Recent storms definitely a sign we’ve pissed off Zeus, say local Dodekatheists Culture and Society: Reverends & Vicars across the country report receiving hundreds of calls this week from Catholics hoping to “transfer over” in light of the Tuam babies report Music: Brits get taste of their own medicine as Ireland claims Ed Sheeran for its own Health: Start gearing up for your summer body with this new celebrity workout craze: tilting your axis towards the sun!

Finance: Well-known sock company loses millions as inexperienced stockbroker invests in the wrong kind of FTSE Technology: Youtube Stars Drugslab try latest insane trip: self-love TV Listings: Friends: The One Where Monica S t o p s Abusing Adderall, C o m e dy Central, 6pm.

Telltale Signs She’s Only Dating You for Your Dog Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor

emotional ramifications of your parents’ divorce in your early childhood for the fiftiIt’s a scientifically proven fact that gener- eth time, and finally, you must ask yourself: ally, girls are more attracted to people with “is she just dating me for my doggo?” dogs. Owning a dog says a lot of about you, “it’s clear that becoming your personality, and your potential as a romantic partner. Being a dog owner gives a pupper parent does a girl every indication that you’re friendwonders for your love ly, responsible and even mildly athletic, if life.” you take into account all that walking. In a recent study conducted by researchers at 1. She's more interested in receiving Stanford University, a majority of women doggo pics than dick pics. aged between 18-28 were said to consider Are your unsolicited dick pics not receiving men who owned dogs ‘less likely to be psy- the attention you had hoped for? Are they chopaths, hopefully’, and people who used met with a reply of: ‘that’s nice, is that your their pooches to pull either via strategic dog in the background? :)’ Then yes, she Tinder photos or IRL interactions were just might be with you for your caseen to be nearly seventy percent more suc- nine companion. Similar signs cessful in securing dates than those who uti- include a preference for Crufts lised children or babies (allegedly, the same and Chill over the Netflix vaStanford researchers are now hoping to riety. study exactly what went wrong during our evolutionary process to make our species so 2. She only ever tags you much fonder of canine children than their in doggo memes. human counterparts). No matter who you In the modern age, it’s comare, regardless of age, looks or even person- mon knowledge that ality, it’s clear that becoming a pupper par- the foundation of any ent does wonders for your love life. There strong relationship comes a point, however, when you get that is frequently tagging sneaking suspicion that she’s more interest- your significant other ed in Fido’s latest trick from obedience class in memes. Your avthan she is in listening to you recount the erage couple strikes a

healthy balance between classic memes, political memes, wholesome memes, doggo memes and some miscellaneous memes to you know, to keep things spicy. Ask yourself: does your girl tag you in a disproportionate amount of doggo memes? If yes, it’s clear that your hunny is doing some heavy hinting that she’s only in this relationship for one h*ckin cute dude, and it isn’t you.

3. She insists that all dates must be dog-friendly.

Do most of your dates take place in canine-friendly locations, like the dog park? Is your S.O. bored by any activities that don’t involve opportunities to play tug-ofwar with your pupper?

Again, this is a telltale sign that she’s just not that into you.

Sorry, son.

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HUMOUR Editor - Sarah ryan

Shit in a Sink: Stories from Waitressing

“

....as a poor college student I saw selling my dignity as a reasonably good business opportunity.

“

Rachel McInerney, Humour Writer

that kid who vomited up ham-and-pineapple pizza, a strawberry milkshake, plus Being a waitress is hard. Bratty customers, whatever that other stuff was, onto his long hours, shit pay, stressed-out manag- table? Surely not much worse. As it turns ers.. Personally, I believe the experience of out, fifty euro is worth many things, but working in the service industry is as im- I’m still not sure it was worth this. portant as formal education. Coming out of a waitressing job gives you that strong The restaurant I was working in will resense of sympathy, so that when one day main nameless, and though it was a bit of you’re sitting in a restaurant as a customer, a shithole, each of us - waiters, waitresses, you’re able to look into your poor, worn- owners and managers alike - took pride in out server’s eyes and truly know that it’s the fact that it was a place for every walk not their fucking fault that your hummus of life; young families, preteen couples on is too ‘garlic-y’. their first date, patrons of the sketchier, drug-using variety - food was something I’ve had a lot of strange experiences as a that united us all. Like I said, the place was waitress. I’ve served a lot of weirdos. One a shithole, so most of the time something, time, a lady asked me to cut all the crust off somewhere was broken, most especially of a pizza for her, and then proceeded to the toilets. At this point in time, the toilets purchase not the rest of the pizza, with all were indeed, out-of-order once again, a big the cheese and sauce and stuff, but just the ol’ sign stuck up on the door. crust. Another time, someone asked me to give them a “quarter-shot” cappuccino. One fine summer’s day, one of our regular Some time after that, a customer request- - some might say dodgier - clients walked ed that I remove all the pits from his olives in through the door. His name was Frank, for him. I try not to judge, because to each and he didn’t care much for food, but his their own, I guess (except you, quarter shot usual order was a cup of tea and a handful guy. You are a weak link of our species). of coffee biscuits, so I set about getting that ready for him. Frank was a chatty sort We waiters and waitresses, we put up with of guy, and enjoyed more philosophical a lot of crap, and all for a measly €9.25 an subjects; he was like Aristotle, if he’d been hour. So naturally, one day when the op- fond of heroin. On this day, he asked me portunity came along for me to make some what the meaning of life was. I told him extra cash, I went straight for it. I mean, I didn’t know. He told me that that was how much worse could things get than the answer. I was still reeling from this

ground-breaking realisation when Frank told me he was going to go fix the toilet for us. After trying my best to tell him that he needn’t worry, that my manager was going to sort it out, I let him off because it was a busy day and we were short-staffed as it was. After allegedly fixing the toilet, Frank sat down to enjoy his tea and biscuits and I continued with the rest of my shift.

Later on, near closing time, most of the customers had left and the last few of us staff had begun cleaning up. My manager, who had come in a small while earlier, decided to check out the bathroom to make sure it was okay for the plumber in the morning. When he re-emerged, his face was like that of a man who’d seen unspeakable atrocities. He gathered up the staff, looked us all dead in the face and asked “who wants to make fifty euro?” It did not look as if he was joking. He proceeded to explain the situation. Someone (let’s face it, probably Frank), had shit in the sink.

I grappled with volunteering to clean this shitfilled sink, I really did... but I was desperate and, to be honest, as a poor college student I saw selling my dignity as a reasonably good busi-

ness opportunity.

I went in, and faced a stench that can only be described as burrito-farts, vodka-shits and dead cats all mixed into one ungodly smell. I would like to say also, that this task was nothing akin to picking up your bichon frises’ excrement at the side of the road on a leisurely walk. The specimen was part liquid, definitely the wrong colour and, well, it was human shit. This shit-excavation took me three j-cloths, one large bin bag, an unfortunate pair of rubber gloves and an unmentionable amount of cif cream. By the end of the evening, I was a hero, a legend among my co-workers...but, at what cost?

I’ll admit, it was worth it. I got some respectable Aldi Specially Selected groceries out of that fifty quid, plus a litre of vodka.

Though, I do wish I’d had the litre beforehand.

Fiction

28

28

FICTION Editor - Sophie Mckenzie

Someone Do Something

By Anonymous

When I woke up today, I had no idea that I would never wake up again. When I got out of bed, I had no idea that I would never go back to bed. When I ate breakfast today, I had no idea that it would be my last meal.

When I said goodbye to my mom this morning, I had no idea that I would not tell her hello this evening.

I left the apartment that I lived in with my mom and my older brother, with the intention of going to class. I was running late, half running, half fixing my clothes still with an apple in my mouth as my breakfast. All that I was worried about in that moment was not having to walk into class late and dealing with our strangely sassy professor.

It was a classic cold winter morning in New York and everyone was dressed in all black looking as if they wished that they were in the Caribbean. I plugged my headphones in, getting ready to drown the negativity of the world out with the ever-optimistic Chance The Rapper, when, just as I was about to hit play, I heard a loud cry that seemed to have been cut short. Everyone looked up and a bit confused but then carried on their way as if nothing had just happened. Shocked and curious, I moved

towards the direction that I had heard the scream. I couldn’t be sure, but I made a turn on 52nd street when I came upon an alley. There, in broad daylight, was a man raping a woman. I was shocked and could not move. The man looked up, made eye contact and had the audacity to smile and wink at me, before shaking his head in a gesture to make me move along. The woman pleaded with her eyes for me to help her.

I turned around at the crowd of pedestrians walking passed the alley, too focused on their phones or too afraid to intervene.

“Help!” I shouted, “Rape, someone call 911!”

But no one did anything. If anyone at all looked up, they quickly looked away, not wanting to be involved.

“What is wrong with you all?” I yelled, “A woman is being raped right in front of all of you, why doesn’t anyone do anything?”

Feeling disgusted, I realised that I was the only one to care enough to do something.

I walked into the alley, hoping to scare him off, but the man seemed completely unconcerned.

“Hey! Stop! Don’t make me force you!” I shouted at the man.

“Be smart kid. This doesn’t concern you.

Be smart like everyone else,” he replied.

“I’m not gonna let you get away with this, you filth,” I sneered as I picked up a box from a nearby trash can and threw at him.

He pushed the woman away from him and sneered at me.

I then ran full speed at him and swung a fist, but he ducked and head-butted me in my chest. I flew backwards and banged my head on the concrete. I tried to get back up but he came and kicked me. I felt like I had just been ran over by a truck. As I was starting to wonder what I got myself into, the woman came from behind him and kicked him in a place no man wants to be kicked.

He doubled over and turned around. In that instant, adrenaline coursed through my body and cleared my head. I jumped up and punched him in his face as hard as I could. I heard a crunch and saw that his face was bleeding profusely from his nose.

With a snarl he turned towards me and pulled a knife out of nowhere. Instinctively, I kicked at his leg and he fell to the ground. Quickly, I grabbed the knife and pointed it towards him. Then suddenly, sirens and flashing lights were everywhere. I felt a wave of relief come over me.

“It’s ok, the police are here!” someone yelled, sounding very far away.

I looked up at the woman who was being raped.

“Everything’s fine now,” I smiled.

She nodded and suddenly broke out into tears.

Then all I could hear were loud garbled voices.

“He has...weapon!”

“Sir, put down the...”

I turned, confused, to face the police with guns pointed at me, the man and the woman.

I moved towards the woman, to take her hand and bring her to safety.

“Step away from the woman!”

“I’m trying to help!”

“I said step away!”

“I’m helping her!”

As I reached for her hand slowly, suddenly I heard the rapist yell, “He’s got a gun!”

“He’s got a gun! Open fire! I repeat. Open fire!”

All I heard next were loud explosions and felt pure agony seething through my body as I was riddled with bullets.

Then I heard a woman screaming.

Then I heard nothing at all.

If you’ve been affected by the content of this piece, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123, or the Cork Sexual Violence Centre on 1800 496 496

food

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FOOD Editor - Xander Cosgrave

Salad - So you want to be healthy?

Vegan dressing.

Ingredients: 4 tablespoons of olive oil.

1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar 1 teaspoon of mustard, (Grainy is best, but that’s usually got honey in it, so the Lidl Dijon is a good shout instead) Juice of half a Lemon Salt & Pepper.

1. Juice your lemon.

2. Add all your ingredients together in a cup or something. Mix. Taste it and add a little salt and pepper to your liking.

3. Drown that salad in it. Or elegantly toss it in it. Whatevs.

Xander Cosgrave - Food Editor

Salads, the last great hill to conquer on being able to eat like an actual person, and not someone who gets their carbs in the form of fermented barley. I haven’t done this before, because mostly everything was out of season and would actually be a bit ‘eh’ but now that we’re hitting spring, and I can put fresh ingredients on this list without laughing to myself, I think it’s time to show you guys a tasty bit of green.

I’m going to give you the vegan version here, to commit to the healthy factor, and also because I have been informed by someone that I need to rep the vegans a bit more. I don’t really know about that, but if people actually have feelings on it I suppose I’ll go for it. If you don’t want this to be Vegan, just eat a block of cheese while you go (though that may not be in keeping with the ‘healthy’ vibe).

The recipe will be split into the basic salad I use and a couple of dressings.

If you like croutons that’s cool, but I’m not a big fan.

'Super Awesome' Creamy Dressing.

Ingredients 4 Tablespoons of yogurt.

1 Tablespoon of decent mayo 2 teaspoons of Pesto.

Juice of half a lemon.

A big sprig of fresh parsley.

Parmesan.

Black Pepper.

Maybe a dash of Tabasco, if you like your dressing to pop.

Italian-ish salad. Or Insalata 'Not Actually at all' Caprese Italy is just the culinary gift that keeps on giving.

Serves; If you eat an entire bowl of salad no one can judge you because it’s healthy. Even if it’s covered in mozzarella and dressing.

Optional extra. Mozzarella! Fresh stuff is the way to go here.

1. Wash everything that needs washing.

2. Quarter your tomatoes. You want them in cute little wedges.

3. Finely chop your Basil and Sundried tomatoes. (As fine as you can, sundried tomatoes can be a bugger What you need. to cut) A knife and Board.

4. Look at your spinach and rocket.

Three forks. (Two of these are for using Do the individual pieces look a bit as tongs) big to you? Well give em a rough A big mug/Jug tear with your hands. I don’t like A big bowl. eating giant pieces of green, and while some people might start Ingredients for the Salad. complaining about the structure 50g Of rocket. of the salad being damaged, well...

50g Of Baby Spinach Fuck ‘em.

50g Of Baby Tomatoes.

5. Toss your rocket and spinach toA half dozen sundried tomatoes. gether. Then sort of sprinkle the Four/Six Leaves of fresh basil (Boom tomato, basil and Mozzarella (If Boom). you’re using it) over the top. Add your dressing.

1. Juice that lemon. Finely chop your parsley.

2. Toss everything except the parmesan into a jug like object you can mix in.

Proceed to mix ingredients in said jug.

3. Taste it. It’s pretty good? If it’s a bit too thick, add some more lemon, or a dash of olive oil. If you think it could be zingier, add some tabasco here.

4. Drench the salad in it. Just pour it everywhere. Then proceed to grate shitloads of parmesan over the top. If you look at it and aren’t 100% convinced that you have enough parmesan, if you have one shred of doubt about the parmesan quantity, just keep grating those doubts away.

5. High Five yourself because you’re eating a salad.

Pro Tip; You can get chopped pancetta in Tesco for a quid. If you desperately need some meat in your salad, that would be a good choice, fried up crispy, or even some chopped chorizo that’s been crisped up.

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SEXPRESS

ISSUE 11 | UCC SExpress

31

Body Positivity and Sex: What’s (Self) Love Got To Do With It?

The 5 Worst Slang Terms For The Vagina: When things are heating up, these are definitely some alternative words for the vagina that you should never use. Alternatively, use them for a laugh, but do so at your own risk.

1. Beef Curtains Food related terms for vaginas are the worst. A Sunday roast will never be the same 2. Lasagne Lips I don’t think I’ll ever eat lasagne again, and I even came back around to eating it after my friend vomited up some fresh lasagne all over my carpet.

3. The Birth Canal Well now you’ve got us thinking about the birthing process. Nothing strikes fear into someone with a vagina more than the birthing process, congrats.

4. Fish Taco Any fish related slang is a no go.

I don’t even understand where fishy connotations came from.

Don’t say it.

5. Slit This is definitely up there with “gash” and “clunge”. They are just terrible words. If you don’t believe me, try them out sometime but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

These days you can feel that there is a lot of pressure to look a certain way. We are a generation bound to social media, and apps such as Instagram can really dictate the way we think we should look. The rise of social influencers and fitness bloggers comes with a rise in awareness of how we look; countless numbers of us striving for this “perfection” we see posted daily. It can be hard to love your own body when you compare it to what you see online, the thing is, you really shouldn’t compare yourself. Body positivity is a difficult thing to practice, but in the end it is very much worth it.

Firstly, what is body positivity? Body positivity is the encouragement of accepting your own body, it is the unlearning of the idea that only certain types of bodies are the ideal type of bodies. It’s about loving the internal and external aspects of your being. Body positivity is accepting that all bodies are good bodies. Body positivity is all about embracing who you are, and not judging anyone else for who they are.

Secondly, body positivity is not just about you. This is especially salient in regards to sex, as they say, “it takes two to tango”, and you’re not just having sex with yourself. The person you are with, no matter how confident they seem, probably has issues with their own body and they might really benefit from you bringing forward a strong sense of body positivity in the bedroom. Equally, if your partner is extremely nervous about a physical aspect of themselves, practising body positivity might be a game changer for them.

So, you might be wondering how you can become more body positive, and how this could help

your love life?

The bad news is that there is no simple answer to this question, other than finding out how to be a more body positive person yourself. I could tell you to leave the lights on when you have sex, wear really lacy underwear or allow your partner to see parts of you that you normally cover up, but these things are all just personal preferences. Yeah, taking steps like this may help someone, but you just really need to take the time to accept yourself.

The good news is that there is no wrong way about trying to find your own body positivity. Some people like to look at themselves in the mirror and affirm everything they find beautiful about themselves.

Learning to accept your own body and not hiding from yourself can be a massive step.

Hanging out with friends who are confident in their own bodies can really be a great influence, as surrounding people who love you for who you are can really help you accept yourself. Correspondingly, not criticising other people’s bodies and not judging them on appearance can go a long way to breaking the cycle of thinking that you also have to look a specific way.

Wear clothing that makes you feel good, this could be the lacy underwear I previously mentioned, but in reality it is just about feeling comfortable with yourself everyday. Again, it’s about branching away from what society says you should wear, and being happy with your own personal aesthetic.

Chill out in your underwear, write yourself positive messages, take some selfies,

show your body lots of love; have a spa day for yourself, learn to relax and enjoy your body; dance around your room, go crazy, learn that your body can do all these incredible things. Googling tips on body positivity can be worth it, and trying out different methods that other people have tried and tested may work for you. Body positivity will come when you actively seek it.

In the end, you’ll find peace with body positivity when you realise you are worthy of love just as you are, and all the nakedness in the world does not discount any sense of beauty. Every body is different, and everyone is equally great. When you accept this you’ll not just empower yourself, but everyone around you; and you’ll probably have a heckin good time in the bedroom.

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GAEILGE

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

Níl aon spreagadh an Ghaeilge a labhairt a thuilleadh James Ó hAirt, Scríbneoir Gaeilge Bhíos suite i Starbucks an lá eile, cupán tae le m’áis agus mé ag glacadh m’anáil idir mo léachtaí. Bhí mé go huile is go hiomlán caitheadh amach i nidadh an lae, suite i measc an slua. Ghlac triúr gasúr an bord taobh liom, iad i mbun cainte agus ag gáire ar ard a gcinn is a ngutha ar nós buachaillí scoile. An Ghaeilge a bhí á phlé acu, teanga na tíre seo againne, agus is ábhar díospóireachta a dtuairmí.

Cogar, ní raibh mé ach cúléisteacht lena gcomhrá - is annamh a bíonn mórán suime agam i caint na mboc - ach bhíodar glórmhar a dhóthain. Agus, is oth liom a rá, ag labhairt na fírinne atáim nuair a deirim gur chuir siad fearg orm.

“Would you believe I can barely remember a word of Irish! Oh, ‘An bhfuil cead agam dul amach go dtí an leithreas’, that’s about it!” Arsa ceann acu, ag miongháire lena chairde.

Gan dabht, níor cheapais féin go raibh faic na fríde barrúil, agus bhíos i ndrochghiúmar i ndiadh an lóin. Feictear dom nach bhfuil púinn spreagadh ar na saolta seo an Ghaeilge a úsáid lasmuigh den

seomra ranga. Is cuma más féidir leat an Ghaeilge a labhairt: níl gríosú ar bith ar fáil.

Is Gaeilgeoir mé ach níl faic á’m spreagadh chun an Ghaeilge a úsáid i mo shaol, m’oideachas nó fiú mo phost. Ní mór dúinn plean a chur i bhfeidhm ina dtír a gcuirfead an Ghaeilge chun cinn - pá níos airde, lacáistí, is cuma. Aon rud. Teanga arsa, stáiriúil, le ceann de na traidisiúin litríochta is saibhre san Eoraip, is ea í an Ghaeilge. Samhlaigh muintir na Fraince

nó na Gearmáine ag caitheamh a dteanga dúchais ar leathaobh sráide. Níl ciall ar bith leis. Mar san, cén fáth, i ndiadh ceithre bliana déag a caitheamh ag foghlaim na Gaelainne, níl ach ‘cúpla focail’ ag formhór na ndaoine. Bliain i ndiaidh bliana tagann leathchéad míle dalta amach as na scoileanna agus i ndiaidh coicíse ní bhíonn a dtromlach in ann muga tae i Starbucks a ordú as Gaeilge. D’fhéadfaidís, i rith na hArdteiste, alt a scríobh fén gcóras oideachais, fén dtoghcháin thar sáile nó fén mBreatimeacht, ach níl cumas cainte acu.

Nach bhfuil rud éigin as alt?

Is féidir linn an córas oideachais a phlé go deo na ndeoir, ach ní iompróidh sé an mhóin abhaile. Is séan-scéal le meirg air go bhfuil ár gcóras oideachais briste. Ní gá ach éisteach le gasúir ar fud na tíre, lena gcúpla focal. Anois, ba chóir dúinn a bheith réamhghníomhach, agus stad na Gaelainne a shábháil ó phlobaireacht an pháiste scoile.

Tá seilf-ré na Gaeilge nach mór caite, agus ní mór dúinn rud a dhéanamh. Nach ceart go mbeadh muintir na hÉireann in ann fiú cupán tae a ordú trí Ghaeilge le bród?

An Bhfuil Stair na hÉireann Dearmadta Againn?

Aisling Ní Ghealbháin Scríbhneoir Gaeilge

Is scéal atá i mbéal an phobal é seo i gCorcaigh i láthair na huaire agus tá roinnt díspóireachta ag baint leis. Tá grúpa áirithe tar éis an t-ainm “Victoria” a scrios ó roinnt dos na comharthaí timpeall na cathrach. Tá an ghrúpa a dhein é seo ag iarraidh stopadh a chur le moladh “na huaisle agus coirpigh” Shasanach agus an t-aitheantas a thabhairt dos na laochra Éireannacha. Ainm amháin a chruthaigh an chuid is mó dos na fadhbanna ná an t-ainm “Victorian Quarter” a bhí tugtha ar an áit ina bhfuil Sráid Mhic Churtáin agus cúpla sráideanna eile suite le déanaí. Glaotar an t-ainm sin ar an áit de bharr na bhfoirgneamh Victeoiriach atá ann ach cháinnigh Diarmaid Ó Cadhla, an ghníomhaí pholaitiúil agus ghaeilge, an t-ainm mar dúirt sé go mbaineann sé le Banríon Victoria, a bhí mar banríon don Bhreatain Mhór i rith an Gorta Mór.

Ainneoin a chuid cúiseanna, tá sé fós mí-dleathach na hainmneacha a scrios. Ach an bhfuil pointe mhaith déanta ag Diarmaid? An bhfuil sé ceart is cóir ainmneacha cosúil le Victoria, atá bainteach leis na huaisle Shasanach, a bheith mar logainmneacha i gcathair Chorcaí? I mo thuairmse, tá sé droch-bhéasach mar ainm,

Students’ Union Elections cé go bhfuil sé bainteach leis an stíl togála atá ar na foirgnimh, de réir dealraimh. Ach fós, dheineadh uafásach dos na hÉireannaigh fadó nuair a bhí Victoria ina bhainríon.

Tá a fhios agam gur tharla na heachtraí sin i bhfad ó shin ach fós caithimid cuimhneamh ar ár stair, an streacailt a bhí ag daoine fadó agus cinnte na gaiscígh a dhein rudaí iontacha ar son neamhspleáchas an tír seo.

An dteastaíonn uainn a dtíránaigh a cheiliúradh in ionad agus in ainneoin na daoine sin? Bheifeá ag súil go mbeadh Tomás Mac Curtáin ag tionta san uaidh dá gcloisfeadh sé go bhfuil Sráid Mhic Churtáin suite i gcearn darb ainm Victoria.

Measaim nár chóir an t-ainm Victoria a

úsáid. Tá fuílleach ainmneacha ann le úsáid seachas cinn a bheadh conspóideach nó a chuirfeadh isteach ar daoine. Ar ndóigh, ní mheasaim go raibh na daoine a chum an t-ainm sin ag smaoineamh, go mí-ámhrach, agus anois tá siad fágtha le fadhb mór. An bhfuil siad chun an t-ainm Victoria Quarter a athrú nó é a fhágaint? Agus dá n-athróidh siad é, cad a dheineadh siad leis na logainmneacha eile le Victoria iontu? Tá sé deacair a rá cad ba cheart dóibh a dhéanamh mar tá roinnt ainmneacha le Victoria ann le fada, cosúil le Victoria Cross, agus ní bheadh na daoine atá cónaithe ansin sásta leis an t-athrú, gan amhras. Táim sásta nach bhfuil mé páirteach sa rírá seo ach bheadh sé suimúil cad a dtarlóidh a fheiceáil.

Student Union - Aontas na Mic Léinn President -Uachtarán Deputy President - Leas Uachtarán Welfare Officer - An t-Oifigeach Leasa Education Officer - An t-Oifigeach Oideachais Entertainment Officer - An t-Oifigeach Siamsaíochta Officer - Oifigeach Election - Toghchán To cast a vote - Vóta a chaitheamh Campaign - Feachtas

33

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34

PHOTOS

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

Photos courtesy of Emmet Curtin Photography

PHOTOS

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ISSUE 10 | UCC Express

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SPORT

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

37

Korea DPR 2-0 Republic of Ireland Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor Republic of Irish women’s national team finished fourth in the Cyprus Cup following a cruel 2-0 to DPR Korea (a.k.a North Korea) last week. In Colin Bell's first campaign in charge of the Girls in Green, they had a positive start, with Ireland enjoying their highest place finish at the tournament.

Sports Law Clinic Launched Hugh O’Sullivan- Sports Writer

10 years ago, Paul O’Connell, playing for Munster, takes a blow to the head; he visibly loses consciousness for several seconds. The team doctor sprints on and attends O’Connell, the doctor seemingly tries to lead O’Connell off the pitch. Excuse me? Paul O’Connell being led off the pitch? O’Connell shrugs off the team doctors concerns and continues to put in his usual inspiring shift. Thankfully O’Connell plays the rest of the game without any issue. However the question arises: If O’Connell had collapsed during the game, or had a haemorrhage that night, who would be legally liable?

Was the team doctor meant to physically pull O’Connell off the pitch? No easy feat I must add. O’Connell himself? He was concussed, how could he be trusted to make that decision. The referee?

Surely he has enough to do marshalling the game, so who is responsible for player welfare? The answer is that this is a very grey area.

Fast forward ten years; Conor Murray, playing for Munster, takes a blow to the head, not a particularly nasty one. He doesn’t appear to lose consciousness, however this time the doctor runs on,

shouts something in Murray’s ear and they both sprint off the pitch for a head impact assessment (HIA). So what has changed? This cynic would say that it is fear of legal action and not increased player welfare that has made an impact.

Warning lights went off in 2013 when the NFL settled for $765 million following research from Dr Bennett Omalu and a lawsuit from former players. He established that repeated blows to the head resulted in early onset of dementia, with many former players committing suicide. He established a disease called chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), which manifested itself in former players, but which only could be tested after the player had died.

It is my contention that the game of Rugby fears this kind of scenario occurring; it remains to be seen if we will see this kind of situation coming to surface in the coming years., one would hope not.

However, it can also be argued that the HIA protocols in place are inadequate.

Just last month Toulouse were playing La Rochelle in a top 14 encounter. Alexis Palisson, a decent sized back, attempted a tackle but instead received a belly full of Fijian Levani Botia. Palisson tried to get up and get back into the fray, the only problem being that he couldn’t

stand, and then he fell into the touch judge. He was quite visibly concussed.

Now any reasonable person would say that Palisson must be removed from play for his own safety.

Despite a valiant defensive display by the Irish, two late goals by Wi Jong Sim and Kim Ryu Song sealed the result.

From the start the North Koreans pressed, and almost struck luck when Kim Phyong Hwa hit the the post in the 9th minute.

Phyong Hwa once again threatened, but Emma Byrne made a gallant save to keep the game level.

Ireland were not without their chances, as Katie McCabe's 20-yard effort shot He went off for a HIA after 13 minutes over the crossbar before former Puskas and returned after 20 minutes. There- nominee Stephanie Roche's central freefore, he must have satisfied the medical kick was easily gathered up. staff, which is to say, he passed a series of cognitive, memory and balance tests. North Korea pushed in the remaining It’s fair to say that this kind of scenario moments and struck gold when Wi Jong is not acceptable at the highest level of Sim's cross clipped over Emma Byrne rugby, as it sets an extremely poor ex- and into the back of the net to give the ample for younger players. The question Koreans the lead. arises, do we need increased regulation in the area of sport? Do we need a high- Ireland pressed, but for every women er body who is not involved in the actu- forward more spaces were created, and al sport to set out guidelines regarding Kim Ryu Song charged forward, shootthings like head impact assessments and ing well with a 30-yard shot into the top concussion? Do we need the legal sys- right-hand corner to send the North Kotem to step in and address the obvious reans through to the next round. shortcomings? The UCC sports law clin- Teams: ic will be addressing such issues at an event which will take place at the end Republic of Ireland: Byrne (GK), of March on UCC’s campus. This event O'Gorman (Berrill 90), Caldwell, Quinn, will cover a range of topics related to in- Scott, Duggan, Roche (Shine 90), O'Sulcreased regulation in sport and is a free, livan (Murray 90), McCabe, Connolly, open event. It will be a valuable oppor- Kiernan (Littlejohn 85). tunity to meet members of the clinic, especially for clubs who may need the Substitutes Not Used: Hourihan (GK), clinic to give information pro bono in McQuillan (GK), McCarthy, McLaughlin, O'Riordan. the future.

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Super 8 Super Challenge

ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

City run riot in the rain Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor

Cork City FC enjoyed back-to-back wins for the first time in fourteen years, as the Rebel Army overcame Galway United 4-0 at Turners Cross to go top of the table. In a rain-swept Turners Cross John Caulfield’s side enjoyed goals from four different scorers to extend their unbeaten run.

formula, there will be two groups: One will contain the winners of the Munster Championship and the Connacht Championship, as well as the Leinster and Ulster runners up. The second group will feature the Leinster winners paired with the Ulster winners and the runners up of Connaught & Munster.

Each team will play three matches, one at home, one away and one in Croke Park, and could introduce twenty four matches across the group stages.

Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor On the 25th of February the GAA passed the motion to introduce a trialled Super 8 into next year’s championship. The proposal, which will eliminate the All-Ireland quarterfinals, will replace the current system with two groups of four, with the top four counties progressing to the All-Ireland semi-finals.

It is a decision which has come as a relief to the struggling GAA. The oncegreat theatrics of the Irish summer has faded and withered into lacklustre verse of a deadened winter. People are losing interest in the GAA, simple as.

Attendances for the Allianz National League, right through to the provincial championships, to the latter stages of championship, have all been dwindling, and are continuing to decline.

The proposed system hopes to reignite passion in the GAA, and give football a broader appeal, an idea which in itself is in endangering to engulf the game as a whole. Under the experimented

A number of problems are immediately evident with this system: First, there is an overt danger of drowning the hurling championship. Traditionally kept as provincial championships, qualifiers, quarters and semi-finals, the weight of the Super 8 threatens to dwarf the hurling championship, and take away from the game itself. From a television perspective, if Cork are playing Dublin in the football, straight away interest would be surely be diverted away from any game in the hurling championship that does not feature the Big 4. Games such as Cork vs. Dublin, Dublin vs.

Donegal, Monaghan vs. Dublin, and Mayo vs. Kerry will all cause GAA fans’ mouths to water with jubilation, with the prospects of renewed rivalries and giant killing. All-Ireland match ups between Clare and Dublin or Waterford and Galway will garner interest in their home counties, but outside the county bounds very little of the spectacle really matches up.

Financially the whole system is a headache for fans. With a two to three hour

journey separating the pinpoints to the provinces each (Cork, Galway, Dublin, Derry), the costs to cover an away game with a trip to Croke Park would equate to €100 for adult tickets, never mind the costs for petrol or for families, and things like match programmes, food and drinks.

Clare dual star Podge Collins nailed it on the head in recent weeks, commenting: “Players club & county don't agree but who gives a fuck about them. It generates more money & who cares about developing weaker counties” Across the board there has been an increased opposition to the move, with the GPA outlying their five main concerns. Complaints on the list include diminishing the value of provincial titles, with there being little incentive for local crowns with both the winner and runner up poured into the same category in the All-Ireland, as well as the lack of proper consultation with the players themselves, and the demotivational impact the championship will have on lesser counties.

Already six counties stand out as the cream of the crop: Jim Gavin and his all-conquering Dublin side stand out alongside the old guard in Kerry, the perennial bridesmaids Mayo and tired and tested Donegal. Teams on the up would include Monaghan and Tyrone, two sides remaining from the last of the fully competitive championships, and Kildare, Cork and Tipperary from Munster.

Cup final hero Sean Maguire continued his fine run of form, bagging his first of the game after fourteen minutes - having muscled Galway goalkeeper Ciaran Nugent off the ball he was able to place the ball easily into an empty net. This was the Kilkenny native’s third goal of the season.

From the restart in the second half City pounced, and were soon rewarded when on-loan Ryan Delaney rose from a corner and headed the ball into the Shed End net for his first goal for the club. With his side at 2-0 now, Cork City were very much in control at Turners Cross, and looked to extend their stride.

Goal of the evening came midway through the second half when winger Stephen Dooley was put through against Ciaran Nugent in goal; with a cool head, the Londonderry-born forward chipped the ball through and down over the line to send the Shed End into ecstasy. City closed off the game when substitute Conor Ellis twisted through the Galway defence to bring the ball down and slide it across goal for his first for the club.

Full time score at Turners Cross was 4-0 to Cork City, a win which rockets John Caulfield and his team to the top of the league for the first time in twelve months.

Teams: CORK CITY – McNulty; McCormack, Bennett, Delaney, O’Connor; Morrissey (Ellis 81), Bolger; Beattie (Campion 78), Keohane, Dooley; Maguire (Sheppard 61).

GALWAY UNITED – Nugent; Horgan, Grace, Folan, Ludden; Devaney, Cawley, Holohan (Devers 83), Melody (Byrne 72); Cunningham (Faherty 72), Murray.

Ref – P McLaughlin (Monaghan).

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ISSUE 11 | UCC Express

Comeback Kings

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Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor

In what was one of the greatest games of football ever played, Barcelona came back from 4-0 down to beat PSG 6-1 at the Camp Nou in the UEFA Champions League, winning 6-5 on aggregate. Rarely in football does anything ever follow a script; from Leicester winning the Premier League to Celtic beating Barcelona, and last Wednesday night showed it as PSG collapsed as the world watched. Billed as “the Greatest Comeback” Luis Enrique’s team etched their name into sporting history in one of the most surreal nights in European football. Having let the dust settle, and now that everyone has had a chance to catch their breath, what other results and games brought the world to a halt? What else shocked the nations and made social media fall to pieces?

The Miracle of Istanbul- In a tie needing no introduction, Liverpool’s 2005 European Cup win will forever be known as a true game of two halves. Trailing three nil down to an AC Milan side dripping with talent, Liverpool were entertained by, ‘Championes’ chants from the opposing dressing room at halftime. What ensued was something special. Local legend Steven Gerrard’s headed chance gave Liverpool a lifeline before Vladimír Šmicer’s shot, and Xabi Alonso’s penalty rebound brought the game level. While ‘Old Big Ears’ flirted with the Italians, it was the Merseysiders who would steal her heart in penalties, following a 3-2 shootout after 120 minutes of football.

Paul Lawrie's British Open win- Trailing by ten strokes heading into the final round, the future seemed bleak for Paul Lawrie. Jean Van de Velde’s flawless weekend quickly fell apart when the Frenchman triple bogeyed the hole which meant that the Claret Jug went to Paul Pawrie in one of the most spectacular comebacks in the history of the PGA. Super Bowl LI- The most recent sporting memory on this list is the story of the New England Patriots’ 2017 Super Bowl victory.

At the end of the second quarter the Patriots trailed 21-3 to the Atlanta Falcons. Things only got worse heading into the final quarter, with the Pats now trailing 28-3, but star player Tom Brady stepped up, and with a touchdown and a field goal, the Patriots had clawed the game back slowly. Another score brought the game back level, and

with only seconds remaining Brady found Amendola, and snatched the Super Bowl title from Atlanta in the dying seconds.

Dennis Taylor vs. Steve Davis, 1985 World Snooker Championship- World Champion Dennis Taylor cruised to an early lead, and was soon 8-0 ahead of his counterpart. Despite the odds, Steve Davis managed to win the next six games while Taylor only won one. The next day Taylor’s luck ran out, as the world champion potted the black in the decider, handing the title to Steve Davis.

Dynamo Dresden and Bayer UerdingenLong since forgotten, but this match up from the 1986 UEFA Cup Winners Cup stands as the greatest ever comeback in European football. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg, Bayer Uerdingen’s mountain only steepened when they found themselves 2-0 down at half time in the away leg. German

legends Wolfgang Schafer and Wolfgang Funkel rose in the second half, bagging four of Bayer Uerdingen’s six goals in the second half, sending Uerdingen through to the semi-finals.

Manchester United 2-1 Bayern Munich“Football… bloody hell!” joked Sir Alex Ferguson following his side’s dramatic 2-1 victory over Bayern Munich in the 1999 Champions League final. Trailing one nil for ninety minutes thanks to Mario Basler’s strike inside ten minutes, in a manner which would encapsulate Sir Alex’s reign at United, Teddy Sheringham rose from a corner at the 91st minute to head in an equaliser for the English giants. In the chaos which ensured, Ole Gunnar Solskjær struck amidst a manic moment in the Bayern Munich defence, winning the European Cup for Sir Alex and his men.

Mixed Fortunes for UCC Tennis Rihanna Cooney- Sports Writer

It was a weekend of some lows and highs for UCC Tennis club. Six different teams competed in the Intervarsities event hosted by Trinity College Dublin in Ashbrook Lawn Tennis Club, with Leinster Cricket Club and Rathgar Tennis Club also hosting matches throughout the event.

Two teams competed in the Men’s main draw for the tournament, the Men’s first and second teams. The Men’s first team came up against a strong Queen’s University Belfast first team, who managed to defeat the UCC team 5-3 overall in the Quarter-finals in some closely fought games. The Men’s second team played the Queen’s second team in the

first round, winning 5-3 overall with some impressive matches in the tie.

They progressed to the quarter-finals where they came up against the UCD firsts, who proved to be too strong for them. The Men’s first team went onto win the consolation draw against NUI Galway, winning the tie 5-0 in the final.

The Women’s first team came to a similar fate as the Men’s, drawing a very strong Trinity first team, who ended up winning the tie 6-3 overall. Some tremendous encounters were had in this result, and the players were very pleased with how they did despite the loss. The team then went on to win the consolation draw, beating UCD Women’s second team 6-0 in the final.

The Women’s second team competed in the Women’s Bowl Tournament, where they encountered a strong Trinity seconds in the first round. The tie was very closely fought, with the team losing 5-3 overall despite being one player short on the day. Following on from this disappointment, the team competed in the bowl consolation draw. UCC was victorious in this draw, beating the Queen’s second team 5-0 in the final.

The final two teams competing were, the Men’s third and fourth teams, who were both entered into the Men’s bowl competition. The Men’s third proved victorious overall in this tournament, winning their first round with a comfortable 6-0 against Queen’s fourth team. This was followed by a tough

semi-final draw against Trinity’s third men’s team. The encounter proved to be the most closely fought tie in the entire tournament, with UCC prevailing 5-4 in the end, the tie determined by the final doubles match. Following this, UCC triumphed in the final 5-1 against Queen’s third team, with some impressive displays all round. The UCC Men’s fourth team didn’t have as much fortune as the thirds in their first match, narrowly losing to the Mary I’s first team 5-4. This did not dampen their spirits, however, as the fourth team proved to be one of the most entertaining teams of the entire weekend, drawing some of the loudest cheers and biggest crowds. The team progressed through the bowl consolation draw, winning it overall, defeating Queen’s fourth team 5-0 in the final.

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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 11 | Tuesday March 14th

UCC’s Brian Swayne takes aim at the recent Intervarsities in Nemo Rangers this February (photo: UCC Archery)

Aiming high at Archery Intervarsities Amy Garde- UCC Archery

The 25th - 26th February was an eventful weekend for UCC archery. For yet another year UCC ran the National Student Indoor Championships, and this year the turnout was amazing. Ninety-eight people took part, with 94 qualifying students and 4 guests. This is a fantastic increase from last year, and a great indication for the overall interest and take up of Archery in colleges around Ireland.

The National Student Indoor Championship is among the largest student intervarsities in Ireland, and took place in Nemo Rangers. The format of the competition is different to the IVs league, with a qualifying round on the Saturday to set up ranking and head-to-heads on the Sunday. The divisions for the weekend were Compound, Recurve and Barebow in both male and female categories.

Emily Phipps was the stand-out UCC play-

er this weekend, as she topped her division on Saturday, and took the top ranking in the Barebow female division. This was a great encouragement to all UCC players, as we started out the Sunday head-to-heads with attack and determination.

In the head-to-heads Emily herself, got through to the second round, but just missed out in progressing to final. This wasn’t the end, though, as she then progressed into the 3rd/4th bracket against UCC’s own Amy Garde, and came out in 3rd place.

UCC beginners Mary Hennessy and Sam Drugan both progressed passed the first round of their divisions, beating higher ranked players. Sadly they were not as successful in their second matches, but their phenomenal effort should be congratulated.

Amy Garde made a memorable moment for both spectators and players alike in her first round of the head-to-heads. With a 5-5 score, it went into a shoot-off: with 40

seconds to shoot one arrow, both Amy and her opponent shot after the buzzer, meaning that they both had to shoot again. Now, the pressure was on as they were the only two standing up to the line to shoot; the buzzers went, they both shot beforehand, and as they got closer to the targets it became clear that the two arrows seemed to be at an identical distance from the middle.

The judge had to measure the distance, and there was only a millimetre or so in the difference, and Amy progressed through to the next round.

recurve male division on the Sunday headto-heads. There was some fantastic competition, and everyone did very well, but sadly UCC players missed out on progressing farther then the 3rd of 6 rounds.

Carla Reinhardt, Vice-Captain of UCC Archery, progressed through her first couple of rounds with relative ease, until she came up against the top female archer in Ireland. Carla was matching to her end for end, however, one shot was that little bit too low, and Carla was not as successful in that match.

Special thanks to Simon Henleywillis, who was key in the smooth running of the weekend, and to Morgain Siede, Yusuf Fauzi and David Hurley who, even though they were not taking part, were there over the weekend to be on hand and help out with whatever was needed!

For the lads there was quite some fierce competition, as 44 players took part in the

There was a massive 15 players from UCC, with 4 non-competing players taking a huge part in the running of the competition. Therefore, as a sign-off, UCC Archery would like all of those, both on and off the committee, for helping out with setup, organisation and take down.

Here is to next year’s Nationals which we hope will be bigger and better than this years.