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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 12 | Tuesday March 28th
USI Campaign on Drugs Page 4 - News
Caption: Workers form a picket outside Busáras in Dublin. (Photo credit: RTÉ)
Students slam slow resolution to transport dispute. Chris McCahill, News Editor
The failure by the management of Bus Éireann to achieve a resolution to the dispute with workers which has resulted in a sudden strike, has been criticised by the Students Union of Ireland, which has caused travel disruption to not only thousands of people but also to thousands of students traveling this weekend. The USI has in the recent past expressed their solidarity with bus workers on strike and state that their support remains unchanged. Rather the USI has called on the Minister for Transport Shane Ross to intervene and find a resolution to the problem. The USI have also warned that
a failure to engage would be catastrophic for their members. USI President Annie Hoey, speaking during the latest short-notice stoppage stated that, “This dispute has gone beyond the dispute between management and workers - it has created a complete gridlock for students seeking to get home and to college. Tens of thousands of students who rely on Bus Éireann and Irish Rail to travel around the country are now faced with Mother’s Day chaos and the prospect of facing into the exam season not knowing if they’ll be able to make critical classes. The failure to negotiate isn’t just causing inconvenience - it’s causing enormous anxiety and stress for people at
the most difficult time of the year.” Hoey further elaborated “There are thousands of students who rely on Bus Eireann to go to college, work and even travel home at the weekends. There are students who are parents who need to get to college and home to their families. There are students who rely on the already poor public transport routes around Ireland to travel. We urge management and our Government to come to a resolution with workers, and firmly do not believe that workers should have their wages cut to plug the gap” The Student’s Union of Ireland has also called on Minister Ross to immediately release a statement outlining how he intends to deal with the crisis.
Addicted to Happiness
Page 11 - Features
Interview: Beoga
Byline Magazine
NEWS INSIDE TODAY: 2
NEWS
FROM THE EDITOR with us. And yes, that is a little over dramatic, it’s just a shitty college paper, but it’s emotional to potentially leave something like this behind. Ever since I applied to be Editor of the Motley in first year (without ever reading a copy of it), and also (more realistically) applied to be Film & TV Editor of the Express, it’s played a part in my life. So I’ll get over dramatic if I want to, goddamn it.
03 Report: Final Student Council 05 Controversial conference updated
FEATURES
08 Who will stop Le Pen? 12 The Psychology of Happiness
SEXPRESS
31 Going out with a bang
BYLINE
16 Fresh Prince Gets Real 22 The Intricacies of an RPG
SPORT
36 City Make it Six wins from Six 36 Canoe Club win big in Galway
EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-Chief - Robert O’Sullivan News Editor - Michelle Beazley Deputy News Editor - Ciaran O’Halloran Graphic Designer - Beth Alexander Features Editor - Mary Collins Deputy Features Editor - Ciara Dinneen Photographer - Emmet Curtin Sports Editor - Dylan O Connell Deputy Sports Editor - Darragh Walsh Eagarthóir Gaeilge - Aoife Nic Gearailt Marketing Executive - Sarah Dunphy Online Editor - Evan Smith Byline Editor - Lauren Mulvihill Byline Associate Editor - Sarah Ryan Fiction Editor - Sophie Mckenzie Gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan Music Editor - Cailean Coffey Film & Television Editor - Aaron Frahill Fashion Editor - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe Style Editor - Iris Maher Food Editor - Xander Cosgrave Staff Writers: Eoin Doyle Stephen Spillane Laura O’Connor Sarah McInerney Jill Kingston Niamh O’Reilly
“We’ve Only Just Begun”
Robert O’Sullivan, Editor-in-Chief
As I write this I can only assume that this will be the last editorial I will ever write for you, the dear readers of the UCC Express (or at the very least, the last one I write to keep your arse dry outside the back of Coffee Dock…). For those of you who’ve read every issue this year, thank you for being on this journey
Editing this issue of the paper I’ve realised something: while it may be the end of our journey together, it’s the beginning of many others. So many of our editors and writers took a position on the Express this year to either try it out, or to give a hand, but most of them have come out the other side with a passion or desire for writing, something they may or may not follow, but it’s something new. And that’s the point of this whole thing at the end of the day, right? Going to treat the last bit of this like a report at an AGM. We went from 18 people on staff last year to 29 now. We maintained the diverse element
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
of our staff, with the majority of our staff this year being female; our staff represents almost every different disability, sexuality, gender identity and a variety of ages, beliefs, gender identities and nationalities. Last year we had one interview with someone that wasn’t a dude, and this year we had 10 interviews with women and non-binary identifying people. We were nominated for 13 Smedias last year, and this year we’ve added a few to that number, as well as being up for other national & international awards. Fuck man, we also published an extra 52 page magazine on sex (that may or may not have been banned in certain buildings on campus). It was a really fulfilling, successful year. So I’d like to thank my staff, be they weather-worn final years or wideeyed freshers, for all they’ve done this year to (figuratively) prop up my useless ass. Whether we’ll talk every day, or we’ll never meet again, I’m proud to have been on this journey with you, and the next one that’s only just begun.
FROM THE NEWS EDITOR in the public discourse, or rather on occasion I’ve played the devil’s advocate and tried to stir up some controversy and debate by giving an opinion which is contrary to the popular narrative. And of course, despite probably being my last, will be no exception, in an attempt to come full circle, I seek to ask, did I ever change your mind? Or rather could I have?
“Last one out, Get the lights” Chris McCahill, News Editor “Last one out, Get the lights” First of all, it would be remiss of me if I didn’t thank Michelle, who did an excellent job by the way, in stepping in and taking over news for the last edition while I was off with the elections. In all of my editorials thus far, I’ve given my thoughts and ideas on some issues I felt needed to be discussed more
I’ve written my editorials on some of the issues I feel are the most pressing on the world today. I’ve written about offense and open mindedness, climate change, the future, perception and identity. I’ve argued why we should not become too obsessed with receiving thanks and appreciation for our efforts, I’ve debated why young people probably deserve the title of snowflake generation, why it’s simply not okay to use violence against someone who disagrees with you or expresses views which you don’t believe should be tolerated. On a more local issue I’ve tried to point out the internal contradictions in the attempts to stop Raise and Give week and in my penultimate editorial I argued a small distinction on the difference between a right to an opinion and an entitlement to
one. Overall, I’ve been trying to encourage people to consider alternative views and ideas and to reconsider their own. I’ve tried to challenge some presumed consensuses and maybe force people to rethink and reconsider and perhaps maybe even go so far as to change their minds. What’s not important is on what stance people are changing their minds but rather what is important is that people are willing to do so, as summed up by Stuart Sutherland, “The willingness to change one’s mind in the light of new evidence is a sign of rationality not weakness.” And of course, as my it is my last editorial it would be remiss of me if I didn’t say two things, firstly a massive thank you to all on the express team and everyone who helped out or contributed, it’s been an absolute blast this year with you all and it couldn’t have been done without you! Secondly my goodbye, it’s been a hell of year and I hope you’ve had as good as one as I have, and last as is typical of my editorials I’ll leave you with a quote, this one from Bilbo Baggins, “I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell.” Goodnight Vienna
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Report: Last Student Council
NEWS
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Around the Universities:
Chris McCahill & Robert O’Sullivan The final student council of the year was held on Wednesday, the 15th of March, usually the longest council of the year as in addition to the normal business, a new council team had to be elected along with the USI hustings and subsequent USI elections. Five motions were up for discussion and debate, following a statement from SU president Eolann Sheehan regarding the elections and following the elections of the Council team. The first motion related to current Pharmacy students not receiving payment for placement when previous years have received paid placement. The motion mandated the current and incoming SU exec to continue the work already being done to resolve this issue. The motion was passed without much debate. The second motion was regarding the recording of class councils. The recording of Student Council had initially been tried this year by the SU, but there were problems and complications, as some students were uncomfortable with the idea of being recorded. The motion wanted to mandate the SU to record and stream all class councils, but was suspended following a procedural motion, with the issue being examined again by the SU. The third motion was in relation to the publication of officer reports and manifesto updates by the sabbatical officers. The motion was amended multiple times on various
points before being voted on, and was passed. The fourth motion of the night regarded the deposits paid for running for SU election, and that they should be on a sliding scale similar to that of the signatures needed to get on the ballot. In particular, the €40 deposit for part time positions was singled out for being too expensive. After some discussion and clarification on the issue, the motion was passed. The final motion of the night was in relation to the organisation of events by the entertainments officer and class entertainments reps, in particular the organisation of non-alcoholic events for students. This motion was also passed. The motions in full can be found on the UCC Students’ Union facebook page, and running commentary of the Council can be found on @UCCExpress on Twitter. In the final direct election to the UCC Students’ Union executive of the academic year, current CACSSS Rep (College of Arts, Celtic Studies & Social Sciences) Aaron Frahill was elected as the Chair of UCC Student Council by those in attendance in Boole One last night. Frahill was opposed, on the night, by former CACSSS Rep candidate Shane Kenneally. Both candidates wanted to increase participation in Student Council, but Mr.Frahill highlighted the importance of making Council more student-orientated, while Mr.Kenneally wanted to
increase the amount of guest speakers at Council and making more use of satellite campuses for Council. While both candidates made similar points, in the end, though, it was Aaron Frahill who won out. The ‘Council Team’ was rounded out with the election of both a Secretary and Public Relations Officer (PRO). Former SU Presidential candidate Katie O’Neill defeated Catherine Dawson, while Adam Burke was elected PRO over Isabella Storey Cosgrave. The election of the Council Team wasn’t the only voting done on the night, as class reps also voted on candidates for USI officer board; the votes decided who the UCCSU delegates will be mandated to vote for at USI Congress on 28th March. UCC is seen as a key college to win for the USI elections, as UCC possesses a high volume of votes at Congress. Reps voted for the following candidates: Michael Kerrigan (USIOB) (President), Oisín Hassan (QUBSU) (VP for Academic Affairs), Re-Open Nominations (RON) (VP for Welfare), Amy Kelly (GMITSU) (VP for Campaigns), Síona Cahill (USIOB) (VP for Equality & Citizenship) and Michelle Byrne (WITSU) (VP for Southern Area). Delegates will have a free vote when it comes to the election of the Leas-Uachtarán don Ghaeilge. There were no candidates from UCC for USI Officer Board.
University College Dublin (UCD) is the leading Irish university in a new global ranking based on the performance of individual subject departments. The Dublin university ranks in the top 100 for 13 subjects, including two in the top 50 - veterinary science (29th) and English language and literature (45th). There is some embarrassment for Trinity College Dublin, which saw its share of top 100 places drop from 16 to two, which included a 36th placing for the study of nursing. In total, four Irish universities have taken top 100 positions for at least one subject in the latest QS University Rankings by Subject, which is headed by Harvard (USA). Trinity College Dublin: SIPTU members working in Trinity College Dublin (TCD) have deferred sending a notice of industrial action to the university. The union said the threatened action arose from the failure of management to offer permanent contracts to staff. Siptu sector organiser Karl Byrne said that following a meeting of the Siptu TCD section committee, it had been decided to defer the sending of a notice of industrial action until after the group’s next meeting in April. NUI Galway: The University is to celebrate a true pioneer of engineering by naming its centre after Alice Perry, the first woman in the UK or Ireland to earn a degree in engineering. In recent years, Irish universities have begun naming their buildings to honour the legacy of some of Ireland’s ‘hidden figures’ in the fields of science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM). The latest honour is for Galway-born Alice Perry, who is the inspiration behind the Alice Perry Engineering Building in NUI Galway.
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ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
USI launch second phase of drugs info campaign
Michelle Beazley, News Writer On March 20th the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) released the second phase of their ongoing campaign focused on informing students & young people of safe drug usage. The campaign runs in conjunction with the HSE and drugs.ie, and is primarily aimed at those using New Psychoactive Substances (NPS). The second phase concerns itself particularly with the use of synthetic cannabinoids and mephedrone. Use of these and other psychoactive drugs in Ireland is the highest in Europe among 1524 year-olds, and at a stark 22% for lifetime users. The campaign comes as recent studies suggest that these illicit substances are increasing in potency, and that the market for NPS is becoming more accessible to young people in Ireland. Synthetic cannabinoids, sold under the names ‘Spice’ and ‘Clockwork Orange’ in Ireland, are substances that imitate the effects of cannabis, but have the potential to be as much as 100 times more powerful. A report in 2016 established that 60% of all NPS seizures in Europe resulted from the use of synthetic cannabinoids. Mephedrone is a chemical, commonly referred to as ‘bath salts’, with similar effects to ecstasy and cocaine, and has a relatively short-lived span of action that increases risk of overdose from repeated dosing. Ireland boasts a rate above the already high European average rate, with three-quarters of NPS presentations to accident and emergency departments resulting from the use of cathinone drugs. The substances are also linked to mental health problems, self harm, and suicide.
November of 2016 and concentrated primarily on MDMA (ecstasy) and ketamine. “The harm reduction messages in this campaign are paramount: ultimately to reduce harm and to ensure that people who choose to take NPS are aware of the importance of testing in small doses, taking NPS in safe controlled environments, and taking time out between sessions,” said Annie Hoey, USI President, “USI is delighted to continue working with the HSE and Drugs.ie on this harm reduction campaign. We have been working hard this year to provide information to students and our Unions to highlight the effects associated with New Psychoactive Substance misuse.” HSE National Clinical Lead for Addiction Services, Dr Eamonn Keenan, added: “A key component of this message is to look after yourself and look out for your friends. These drugs have no form of regulation or quality control and the purity, strength and effects vary widely from batch-to- batch. Mental health problems can be caused or worsened by these drugs and if you do decide to use them then do not mix with alcohol or other drugs and do not take them alone. If a friend is suffering an adverse reaction seek help and contact the emergency services immediately.”
The campaign urges anyone affected by the issues it addresses to call the HSE Drug/Alcohol Helpline at Freephone 1800 459 459 between 9:30 and 5:30 Monday to Friday, go to www.drugs.ie or email helpline@ hse.ie. It is essential to be aware that drug usage becomes more risky if the user has physical or mental health problems, and it is always safer not to partake in the use of The initial phase of the campaign ran in illicit substances.
NEWS
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Final Update on Israeli conference in UCC
Chris McCahill, News Editor
Following on from previous reports here in the Express, we have a final update on the conference on the legitimacy of the state of Israel. The conference, titled International Law and the State of Israel: Legitimacy, Exceptionalism and Responsibility will be held in Cork from 31st March to 2nd April. The conference is scheduled to go ahead, contrary to previous reports in the media that it had been cancelled due to security concerns. Such security concerns along, with others relating to the disruption to students, are now resolved as the conference will be jointly held with Cork City Hall and UCC. The inter-disciplinary programme will feature papers and presentations from over forty eminent speakers and undoubtedly spark great discussion and debate on one of the most important contemporary issues in the world today, according to organisers. The event has been endorsed by several prominent individuals including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Noam Chomsky, Judith Butler, John Pilger, Ken Loach, amongst others. Organisers of the event are reportedly delighted that they are in a position to host the event in UCC following two previous failed attempts to hold a conference with a similar theme in the University of Southampton due to concerted and organised op-
position by what event organisers describe as “a small minority.” The event has been accused of being anti-Semitic and biased against the state of Israel, claims which are strongly refuted by the organisers and deemed “false.” According to the organisers this is an important conference which will “raise questions that link the suffering in historic Palestine to the manner of Israel’s foundation and its nature. It aims to generate a debate on legitimacy, exceptionalism and responsibility under international law as provoked by the nature of the Israeli state. It will also examine how international law could be deployed, expanded, and even re-imagined, in order to achieve peace and reconciliation based on justice.”
versy and debate. In addition to being prevented from going ahead in the UK, which included the issue being raised and the conference being opposed by MPs in the house of commons, It has also faced significant opposition with the threat of protests aimed at disrupting the event resulting in security concerns being cited as reason against the conference being held. There have also been other forms of opposition, as one of the keynote speakers, Professor Richard Falk, who is one of the two authors of a recently published report, "Israeli Practices towards the Palestinian People and the Question of Apartheid" (February 2017) which has been the object of attack by the US and Israel, leading to the UN Secretary General asking the director, Samira Khalaf, of the Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia to withdraw the report. Instead Samira resigned from her post. Furthermore, there have been issues surrounding the reporting of the event and misinformation with numerous articles and reports suggesting the conference in UCC had also been cancelled due to security concerns, such reports prompted UCC to release a statement to the contrary.
The first of its kind, the conference constitutes a ground-breaking historic event. According to organisers the event will contribute to the pursuit of justice and enduring peace for Palestine. The conference is unique in the sense that it is in contrast to most of the attention focused on Israel which deals with Israel’s actions in the 1967 occupied territories, whereas this conference seeks to expand the debate and examine the surrounding nature of the state of Israel and the legal and political reality The conference is scheduled to go ahead within it. with both staff and students alike being enThe conference has been subject to serious couraged to attend. For the full programme opposition since it was first announced and and to register, please visit www.israelpalhas already been the source of great contro- estinelaw.com/.
Modern Medicine’s most neglected disorder receives much needed attention Ciaran O’Halloran, Deputy News Editor New updated guidelines for the diagnosis, managements and care of patients with the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes have been published for the first time in 20 years. A recently formed international consortium of over 90 experts in the field of the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes published their research in the American Journal of Medical Genetics on Wednesday, March 15th. This publication clarifies the bases for the diagnosis of and updates the descriptions of more than a dozen different types of the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes. It also introduces the newly-described Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders. The Ehlers-Danlos syndromes are a group of multisystemic genetic connective tissue disorders that are caused by a defect in the structure, production or processing of collagen, the most common protein in the body. They are a common range of conditions affecting approximately 1 in 5000 people worldwide. It targets the joints, skin and blood vessels causing a wide variety
of symptoms like hyper-reflexive joints, advanced osteoarthritis, chronic pain, fragile easily bruising skin and valvular heart disease among others. More severe types, such as Vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, can be life-threatening, as fragile blood vessels and internal organs can spontaneously rupture. There’s currently no cure for Ehlers-Danlos and treatment includes physiotherapy and corrective surgery. EDS Awareness Ireland Chairperson Natalie Murphy hopes this reclassification will dramatically improve the quality of life of Irish sufferers. She says “Irish EDS patients; children, teenagers and adults, have been neglected for far too long.. These internationally agreed upon guidelines are a framework which every doctor in every discipline in Ireland can use. We have over 450 Irish members to date, the majority of whom have faced years if not decades of poorly managed chronic pain and medical scepticism”. The greatest challenge for the consortium was to bring clarity and specificity to the clinical definition of the hypermobile type of Ehlers Danlos syndrome and to assess how the core features were
related to comorbidities that could cloud the path to diagnosis and treatment. This effort is highlighted by the several papers in the collection that propose constructive solutions for the present and pathways to further understanding.
and incomplete diagnostic criteria” Praising the new guidelines she added that “this update will help educate the healthcare community and promote greater awareness and understanding of the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes.”
Appealing to doctors nationwide she said “..please learn about the Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes and Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders and work with us to develop management plans and treatments. These conditions are incurable but manageable. Currently, Irish patients suffering from the Ehlers- Danlos syndromes have to self-finance costly trips to the United Kingdom for appropriate diagnosis and treatment, as they are presently unavailable in Ireland. “This publication is a game-changer for the Ehlers-Danlos community,” says Dr. Clair Francomano, Geneticist and Director of the US Ehlers-Danlos Society Center for EDS Research and Clinical Care, and a co-author of the publication. “Up to this point, research into the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes has suffered from a lack of coordination and much of it has been based on outdated
Echoing the anticipated benefits of the new publications is Lara Bloom, Co-Executive Director of The Ehlers-Danlos Society USA and author on the publication. “This new summary provides guidance for families and caretakers so that neither geography nor specialty determines your quality of life,” said Bloom, citing the difficulty of finding knowledgeable clinicians outside of major research hubs. She added that this new publication will “crystallize our current understanding of the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes in ways that are immediately applicable to care and provide the medical community with tools that they have long awaited.” For anyone looking for further information and details about the updated criteria and guidelines can find them at www. ehlers-danlos.com.
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FEATURES
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Editorial: Good night, and good luck
Mary Collins, Features Editor It’s hard to write an editorial for a features section; the whole thing is basically an editorial anyway. Consequently, this will be as much a love letter as an editorial, enjoy. Writing this feels as close as I will ever become to being one of the string quartet who played on the deck of James Cameron’s Titanic. Knowing the end is nigh and playing on anyway until the very end. I have a billion and one things to do (number 1; lay off the hyperbole and exclamation marks!!) but as I sit here on my bed, looking out at the snow (snowing in March? Only in Ireland) I feel like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ve always enjoyed writing. In leaving cert, tearing the appalling poetry to shreds was one of my favourite things to do. But I was too stubborn and wanted to be a doctor or a scientist. When I wound up in college, I did science. And I hated it, almost from the beginning. I swapped around trying to find where I fit in, until I finally realised that I was never going to fit in; it just wasn’t for me. But people always fascinated me, so I went into psychology. The freedom to write essays with an actual viewpoint,
not regurgitating some bullshit about retinoic acid and stem cells, my god, it was like the beacons of Gondor were lit and for the first time in almost a decade I felt alive. But I needed more. I needed something else. And that, dear reader, is why I’m sitting here, frantically writing an editorial that will hopefully convey my feelings in a relatable way whilst also being a tad amusing and making you think “huh!”. Being able to write for the Express this last year has been an emotional rollercoaster. There has been crying, yelling, laughing, screaming and lots of not-sleeping. There have been missed deadlines, early submissions, awards to apply for. Reading other people’s work and being able to reflect on my own style and pieces has been more educational than any creative writing course. It’s like watching the last episode of your favourite show. You were told there would only be five seasons, but somehow when the last episode of season five comes to pass it feels like it came all too soon. Time really does fly when you’re having fun I guess. This is my last hurrah, my Oscar ac-
ceptance speech à la Sally field circa 1985, and I have so many people I’d like to thank (so sit back and enjoy the cringe). My friends, for providing me with hours of inspiration and support and proof reading and everything else a girl could want (especially L, D and A-M, thanks for putting up with me!). To my parents, for continuing to support my pipe dreams of finding a career. To every single one of my contributors, you are amazing. To my deputy editor, you have made a good year great. I can’t imagine a better person to have on the Features team. To my editor and everyone else on the team, thank you for everything. Originally from a rural area in North Cork, Mary Collins has
been a UCC student since 2010, and is currently finishing her second degree. Having been involved in pretty much everything else, she saved the best for last; The Express. She is due to graduate and (hopefully) get a job soon, so her neighbours will stop pointedly mentioning the girl up the road who became a nurse and is buying a house at the age of 26, especially to her parents. Applications for the Express opened the 21st of March. Apply; it will be one of the best decisions you ever make.
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FEATURES
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Who will take on Le Pen?
Stephen Spillane, Staff Writer With terrible approval ratings, high unemployment and sluggish economic growth, President of France François Hollande will not be seeking a second term of office. With the winds of populism running through global politics, will this be the far-right’s best chance to win a presidential election in Europe? The first round of the French Presidential Elections takes place on the 23rd of April, and what everyone wants to know is who will be taking on La Front National’s Marine Le Pen in the second round May 7th. If you had asked this question a month ago, the answer you would have gotten would have been that François Fillon, who won the centre-right primary in November of 2016 and would represent Les Républicains (the renamed Union for a Popular Movement (UMP)), is the front-runner for the prestigious office. During the primary campaign he saw off challenges from former President Nicolas Sarkozy and former Prime Minister Alain Juppénce, but since then his campaign has fallen apart. Questions raised by satirical magazine Le Canard about the hiring of his English wife, Penelope, as a parliamentary assistant, and the possibility that it was a fake job which saw her earning
nearly €1 million with little-to-no work to show for it, have caused mass resignations from his campaign. This, along with a police raid on his home, has caused Fillon to fall in opinion polls, and will make it very hard for him to bounce back. While many on the centre-right hoped that the Mayor of Bordeaux, Alain Juppé, would replace Fillon as their candidate, Juppé has ruled himself out, leaving Fillon to limp toward the elections. The new front-runner, according to the polls, who will face Le Pen in the second round is Emmanuel Macron, the former Economy Minister under current Socialist President Hollande. Last April he formed a political movement, En Marché, which is neither right nor left but progressive. He hopes to bridge the divide in French politics, and this strategy seems to be paying off, with Fillon falling in the polls and Macron being the main beneficiary. While facing accusations that his plans are threadbare, he has been launching policies ahead of the official campaign which gets underway on April 10th. Recent polls show him finishing very close to Le Pen in the first round, and easily beating her in the second, though the recent American presidential election showed how deceiving polls can be.
When President François Hollande decided not to run for a second term, Le Parti Socialiste (PS) faced the task of finding a replacement. To do this they held an open-primary of the left. To the surprise of many observers Benoît Hamon, the one-time Minister of National Education, beat Manuel Valls to take on the challenge. Due to the rise of Macron, the PS are being largely ignored by the main press and foreign news correspondents. Marine Le Pen, like Macron, did not face a primary to be selected. With the Front National receiving strong results in previous elections, and having failed to reach the second round in 2012 or 2007 under her father, Jean-Marie, the pressure will be on Le Pen to finish as one of the top two candidates.
“ Marine Le Pen, like Macron, did not face a primary to be selected” While the assumption that Le Pen will make the second round is borne out by opinion polls, it seems that it is a bridge too far for her to win the Presidency. The French say you can vote with your heart in the first round; you only need to vote with your head in the second, and this year will be no different. Many voters will likely hold their nose and vote for
the candidate that is not Le Pen in the second round, like they did in 2002 for Jacques Chirac.
“The French say you can vote with your heart in the first round; you only need to vote with your head in the second,” There are a number of other candidates who have also qualified to be on the ballot in the first round by gaining 500 signatures of elected officials in France. These include the Gaullist Nicolas Dupont-Aignan of Debout la France (France Arise), Communist Nathalie Arthaud of Lutte Ouvrière (Workers Struggle) and euro-sceptic François Asselineau of Union Populaire Républicaine (Union for the Popular Republic). They will more than likely be joined by leftist Jean-Luc Mélenchon of La France insoumise (Unsubmissive France) and the LaRoche candidate of Jacques Cheminade of Solidarité et Progrès. With the United Kingdom giving notice under Article 50 at the end of March, and Germany going to the polls later in the year, this election could see Europe stay the course or change direction depending on the victor in La Belle France.
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Loving Where I’m Living, a love letter to Cork City
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THIS WEEK IN HISTORY Lorna Laurent
Lisa Ryan, Features Writer I’ve been living in Cork for almost seven years. I moved down here in early September 2009, seventeen years old, terrified that I’d hate it, that I’d know nobody, that I’d miss my home too much. College was what drew me here, it becoming home is what has kept me. When Sadhbh from Where Wishes Come From started up a linky about loving the place you live, it inspired me to get writing! Let’s make one matter clear; regardless of where my heart declares home, my GAA heart will ALWAYS sing for the Deise team. Housekeeping aside, there are reasons within reasons that this place does hold my heart, and that I am happy to consider it the home I have made for my little family. I never settled into rural life in the seventeen years I lived there. Too remote, too isolated, too far away from everything fun and lovely in the world, and all the people I wanted to see. My heart was in cities; in a buzz, where I could meet people and do fun things and see more than trees and grass and endless cow-jams on the way home. The day I viewed University College Cork at the open day, a shift happened. Standing outside the Student Centre, looking up at the Honan Chapel, I declared to my then-boyfriend (a student there), that I had found my place. When I did eventually move down the following year, myself and a friend who had both been accepted onto the same course finished our first induction day by lying on the grass facing the Quad, looking up and going “Wow. We go to school here. This
is incredible.” And it was. Cork was filled with people from every faction of society, filled with new experiences, filled with new life. Seven years later, still living here, that love letter in my heart to this place still exists. Not all of the time, understandably – there are some times where I need to leave to realign my love for the place. The rain can have that effect. I’m still discovering so much more of this city and it’s surrounds. New walks, new places to visit. It can be easy to get jaded by the day to day, but this place offers so many chances to escape from the repetitive drum of traffic and rush. Taking a walk around the Lough is calming, like escaping the city completely for a few minutes because the nature drags you out of that urban setting. I say calm, until the swans go a bit nuts and leave me half-running, half walking (as not to look TOO ridiculous) away from a fear of their bite. I’ve sat on the bench for hours with friends over the years, talking out the trials and joys of life, just watching the water settle. Walking out towards Blackrock Castle along by the Marina is beautiful on a sunny day, and definitely one of my favourite places I’ve found in the last while. I can’t believe it’s taken so long for me to discover such a truly beautiful part of the world. Cork is a small city. I have short legs. The two of these combine rather well, as despite loving walking, it is nice to be able to get from A to B without HAVING to walk for millions of miles. It may rain a lot here, and I may lament about how much lovelier it would be if it had a roof, but it’s filled with lovely places to duck
into out of the rain. There really isn’t anything better on a winter day than popping into O Conaill’s for a hot chocolate. My personal favourite is Milk and White. Brunch in Bodega is absolutely divine, and buggy friendly to boot. Staff, for the most part, are friendly and helpful wherever you go, and the options for where to go are growing all the time. There’s a feeling of general friendliness bubbling through the city, which can be hard to find in other places. It’s nice. It’s small. It makes it home, the place I love to be living. This is where I met my partner, fell in love, gave birth to my son. It’s where I’ve witnessed him growing into the little boy who drives me crazy and makes me laugh. It’s where I’ve met some of the best people I’ve ever met, and sat with large pots of tea talking out the troubles of the world. There’s been laughter and tears and overall smiles. I’ve even got an accent twang that I c a n ’ t quite get rid of, much as I try. This may not be my forever home, we don’t know what the future holds, but for now, I’m sure loving that I’m living where I’m living.
28th March: On this day in 193 AD, emperor Pertinax is assassinated after a short reign of only 86 days, making him the first emperor to die during the tumultuous ‘Year of Five Emperors’. Pertinax’s desire to restore discipline within the Praetorian guard led to his defeat at the hands of these very guards, who in turn auctioned off the imperial title to wealthy senator Didius Julianus. Crazy to think that there was a time when politicians could buy their way into high positions of power. 29th March: Beethoven’s first public performance takes place in Vienna on this day in 1795 when he is 23 years old. He premieres either his First or Second Piano Concerto (records are contradicting), after studying under both Mozart and Haydn in Vienna. 30th March: Capitalism strikes again when, in 1867, US Secretary of State William H. Seward signs a treaty with Russia for the purchase of Alaska for $7 million – roughly 2 cents an acre. Russia proposed this offer to the US, as it was experiencing serious financial difficulty, and it feared Alaska might be seized if war broke out with the UK. While the purchase was publicly ridiculed and referred to as ‘Seward’s Folly’, the discovery of gold in 1898 contributed greatly to American prosperity and quickly silenced all the haters. 31st March: On this day in 1889, the Eiffel Tower officially opens in Paris. The tower was built for the Exposition Universelle, a world’s fair to celebrate the centenary of the French Revolution. Continues on the next side bar...
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FEATURES
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
The CAP & the EU Explained
Sam McNally, Features Writer The Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) has been the mainstay of European agricultural policy for more than fifty years and has ensured that food insecurity and price volatility, that were characteristics of 20th century Europe, have not been repeated. Though the policy has the admirable task of ensuring European food self-sufficiency, food traceability and safety, the general consensus is that the policy requires radical reform. The CAP plays an important role in ensuring economic stability, protecting the incomes of farmers, controlling inflation and mitigating impacts of outside pressures. The historical role that CAP played in the earliest days of the European project made it a precious symbol of European solidarity, however the institutional and political power that’s been wielded by the proponents of the Common Agricultural Policy over several decades has put a stop to any semblance of radical reform. The Common Agricultural Policy has been
criticised since its formation, constantly under pressure due to its scope and cost. Recent CAP reform efforts have not only focused on the traditional goals of CAP, but also issues of lowering food prices, environmental protection, animal welfare and finding other sources of income for farmers. However, the rules that have been put in place to protect the environment often lack rigor and oversight. One must consider whether these efforts are realistic given CAP commits a large proportion of its resources to supporting large scale industrial farming that disproportionately benefits large farmers and land owners. This kind of farming is at odds with the aforementioned goals and contributes to the devastation of the environment and biodiversity.
“However, the rules that have been put in place to protect the environment often lack rigor and oversight.” Europe has come through the worst of the 2008 economic crisis, and one has to ask whether it is financially prudent to spend 58 billion Euros, or 39% of the EU budget, providing subsidies to farmers. Consider that agriculture generates just 1.6% of EU GDP and employs only 5% of EU citizens, yet does not proportionally benefit that 5%. Large agri-businesses and landowners constitute approximately one quarter of EU farmers, yet receive an estimated 80% of farm aid. Controversially, these land owners often include aristocratic families with large land holdings.
“ Controversially, these land owners often include aristocratic families with large land holdings. ” CAP subsidies have also been blamed for perpetuating inequalities in global food distribution. Combined with import tariffs on food from outside the EU, the subsidies make it harder for developing countries to compete. CAP undoubtedly leads to higher food prices and wasteful wealth transfers, yet it is really up to the individual how much they value the comparatively high standards of food safety and animal welfare that CAP provides. Food security has become a pressing issue in recent years, with significant price volatility for certain goods. This is only likely to become an issue of greater concern in the coming decades as global warming, overpopulation and increasing political and economic uncertainty bring pressures on food security in many regions. The Common Agricultural Policy is imperfect, yet its value to us all is subjective. With a scientific consensus on climate change, it is fair to say that most people can describe themselves as some form of environmentalist. Many recycle and purchase organic, but arguably, the true custodians of our environment are
the many millions of farmers who maintain the countryside and landscapes that we value so greatly. While it is abundantly clear that the CAP is wasteful and often ineffective, these things come at a price. One thing is for certain, while there is a vocal minority proposing to completely dispose of the Common Agricultural Policy, to do so would take the ability to affect change out of our hands once and for all. Agriculture is highly exposed to the effects of climate change and is a major contributor to greenhouse gas emissions. The CAP may become an increasingly important policy in contributing to climate change mitigation through encouraging more sustainable farming, emissions and carbon sequestering in years to come. Perhaps the focus should be trying to deriving more value and refocusing the priorities of the CAP, then trying to simply reduce its cost burden.
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
An Addiction to Happiness
FEATURES
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History Continued
Aaron Frahill, Film & TV Editor I am addicted to helping other people. Doesn’t sound like an awful thing, right? Not always, no. But when one takes on more than they can handle, not being able to say no can become a problem. You know when you go into an interview and the people on the other side of the table say “…so name one weakness”, and you might do the whole positive weakness like too honest, or works too hard – don’t use an addiction to helping others as your “weakness”, because after several years of being the person who will put everything but his own needs as a priority, I’ve gathered enough experience to tell you what it’s like to be a person who craves helping everybody else’s, and why it’s not worth it being me. I know there’s a lot of people out there who would be the same, someone mentions they need help with something, and sure what harm is it in helping, right? I realised very quickly last year, when as a Sociology class rep, that responding to roughly 25 emails and messages the night before my exam might not be the best thing for myself – I think I spent more time helping people with their study than my own that day, and the sad thing is that I was happy to do it. I would have liked to have prioritise my study, but I couldn’t and I do think that’s a problem. But this whole giving up time for others, isn’t so I can give myself a pat on the back, or a whole doing a good job so it can be on the CV – it’s purely an obligation or an addiction to making sure that other people are happy. It sounds nice, but it takes its toll – you help others until you physically can’t do it anymore, and even at that you’ll try to keep going. Raise & Give Week was that time for me recently, I skipped meals and eating so I could shake a bucket and raise as much money as possible, and I did raise a good bit – but come Wednesday morning
I came down with a miserable flu, and as much as I tried I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t bring myself into college, and I was so annoyed with myself. In hindsight, being annoyed with myself for stuff outside my control is a bit stupid (yeah, it was very stupid, but not as stupid as skipping meals), but I just didn’t want to be the person who had to disappoint someone and say I just can’t do it, I can’t help you. I was at the UCC Works Award ceremony last Wednesday, and all I could think during it was that a large majority of the 300 people receiving awards were like me, addicted to doing things they don’t have to do. I was talking to someone who received five awards, and they were a student in a Med & Health course, and all I could think was wow, where do you find the time? Why did I become like this? It’s kind of like an infection – I’ve grown up around people who are the same breed as me, and I’m convinced they’ve molded me into what I am. My dad is the prime example! My Dad works non-stop, like 7am every morning he’s up to go and do some job (at this point I should probably mention that he fixes boats and the like), and isn’t home till 6pm a lot of days. As well as this, if I was going out or anything, he’d say to me do I need a lift home later or anything (which I recently availed of after the Clubs & Socs Ball). Being in an environment where someone was regularly looking out for others subliminally made me become that myself. Coming to UCC and meeting people who were also like this pushed me to be who I am, like I felt that I had to give back to those who helped me. So, when I went for the Express last year (I’m the Film & TV Editor if you don’t make to Byline), I mainly went for it to give back to Rob (the Editor) because he had helped me out in First Year – but I ended up liking the job, as much as there’s pressure on me sometimes. In my head, it kind of freaks me out that I might fill that role of influencing others
to be like me. During the SU elections this year, the idea that three people wanted to replace me worried me a bit, because you come out the other side of this (well for me as CACSSS Rep anyway) a bit battered and bruised with bags under your eyes. I pushed myself to be there all the time for everyone, and while that might mean a few people think “that guy is sound enough for replying to my email,” if it means that I’ve caused other people to take on that burden of helping others too much I am so sorry. It’s nice that people like helping, but the thought of them having to do the likes of class rep elections for around 180 classes, just gives myself stress, it’s too much on one person. It will torment you, and I was happy to do it – I was happy to spend the first half of my semester torturing myself over which classes had reps or not, and getting to know them. At the end of the day people do appreciate effort put into things, but when it goes to a level where you can’t stop until you’re happy (and level isn’t reached much) there’s just no point. We do this because we make ourselves think we like it, but I always feel like the only reason I do so much is because I can’t stand disappointing others, or seeing them under stress, and other negative emotions. That’s lovely, but it’s transferring the issues they had onto you, and even the strongest minded of us can’t hold all of this. You can be this person if you want to be, and you will meet so many like-minded people (which has been the main positive out of all this), yet it’s a question of can you ever tell yourself to stop? I seek out those in need of help, because I couldn’t imagine them unhappy, and I feel that I’m obligated to help. This isn’t a choice of whether I want to be this person, I’m in too deep now, but it is a choice for most of you out there – if you think “I’d like to get involved”, where does the line stop when you’re involved enough because I don’t think I’ll ever reach that line.
Although it is named after Gustave Eiffel, who owned the engineering company hired to construct the tower, it was designed by two employees, with Eiffel originally showing little interest in the project. At 300m high it was the highest man made monument in the world until the construction of the Chrysler building 40 years later. This originally created a subject of controversy, as Parisian artists gathered en masse to argue that it would ruin the beauty of the city. Joke’s on ye fellas, because now the tower is the most visited paid monument in the world. 1st April: This day in 1778 marks the first use of the ‘$’ symbol. Created by Oliver Pollock, the symbol originates essentially, from his poor handwriting. Before the adoption of the ‘dollar’, currency in American was based on the Spanish ‘peso’ and the businessman, who funded a huge part of the American Revolution, would abbreviate the word ‘peso’ simply to ‘ps’ in his letters, which would often look like the dollar sign we know today. 2nd April: Danish author Hans Christian Anderson is born on this day in 1805. Although he wrote many plays and novels, he is most well-known for his famous fairytales such as The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Pea, The Ugly Duckling, Thumbelina, etc. Sadly enough, he spent much of his life alone, constantly afflicted by unrequited love, both towards men and women. When making arrangements in his later life for his funeral, he instructed a composer to ensure the music would “keep time with little steps,” as the readers of his fairy tales were undoubtedly those with whom he felt the greatest connection.
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SCIENCE
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
The Psychology of happiness Looking at high GDP vs low GDP, there was little difference in overall happiness. When you factored in income inequality, when income inequality increased, happiness decreased and vice versa. Turns out “we were poor, but we were happy” can be true, as long as everyone around you is on a similar economic footing and you’re all in it together.
Maeve Cooper, Features Writer Happiness is the state of being happy (no seriously, that was the best google had to offer), but it does nicely segue into the topic of how happiness changes from person to person. For some it’s oodles of money, for some it’s their children and families, for others it’s as simple as a lie in on a Saturday morning while the rain gently meanders down the window pane. When something is this tenuous to grasp, how can we even begin to search for it? What is happiness? How does it work? An actual dictionary (thanks, Google...) defines happiness as follows; A state of well-being and contentment, A pleasurable or satisfying experience. We seem to spend all our lives in pursuit of this elusive emotion
we’re all products of two things; our genetics and our environments. Mutants (genetic and otherwise) aside, there have been hundreds of studies into how our genome affects our life satisfaction and wellbeing. Statistics vary, but our happiness has been shown to be approximately 50-60% genetic.
Values Gandhi said that “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. Author Ayn Rand believed that “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values“. Ghandi and Rand have a point; you are statistically more likely to be happy when you act in accordance with your values. Your values are a combination of your beliefs and motivations, that influence how we see the world and what decisions we make. The Personal Values Assessment is a short simple assessment to help you discover what drives you, and how to incorporate them in your daily life.
Strengths A lot of modern day psychology focuses on finding out weaknesses and improving them of how we cope with them, or how we improve them. Positive psychology takes a different slant; acknowledging both the good and the bad, but focusing on our strengths and building those up. The Character, Strengths and Virtues handbook identifies 24 character strengths divided and categorized into 6 core virtues, as follows; Wisdom and Knowledge: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective, innovation Courage: bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality, zest Humanity: love, kindness, social intelligence Justice: citizenship, fairness, leadership Temperance: forgiveness and mercy, humility, prudence, self control Transcendence: appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality You can take the Values in Action Inventory of Strengths questionnaire at viacharacter.org.
Genetics When you boil it down to the bare bones,
Money Interestingly, the old adage “mo’ money,
mo’ problems” does hold some weight. People’s happiness rises with increased financial income, but only up to $50-70,000 a year. After that, it plateaus. Whilst I doubt Bill Gates goes to bed every night dreaming of being a pauper, money can really only buy you so much happiness. Equality One of the things we are all taught to do from a very young age is compare ourselves to others. In this ever increasing rat race, where everything we do is documented on social media for others to see and compare themselves to aswell, it’s hard to keep up, and it’s easy to feel bitter about inequalities. A study showed that the perception of equality in a society goes a long way in making people feel happier. In a study conducted by Shigehiro Oishi at the University of Virginia and Selin Kesebir at the London Business School looks at the connection between economic growth, inequality, and happiness across 34 nations.
Behaviours then increase happiness Acting in accordance with your values. Most have a certain cognitive dissonance between who they really are and who they see themselves as, aligning your behaviour with what you really believe can help you find some peace. Gratitude is a big one too; it’s so easy to compare our lives to others and see the discrepancies, but being grateful for what you have has been shown to improve happiness. Every night before you fall asleep, write down three things that you’re grateful for. It sounds like a load of fairy stories, but it really works; it refocuses your attention on the little things in life, reminding you to be happy when anything good happens. Pro-social behaviour is key. It’s so hard to drag yourself out when you aren’t feeling good, but seeing friends and getting some social interaction is a good way to raise our spirits. Our friends help shape who we are, and being reminded of good times when we aren’t having a good day can help refocus our attention on the good side of things. Focusing on one big goal in the distant future can be as exasperating as it is frustrating. But breaking one big task into little every day goals makes it much more manageable, and that feeling of accomplishment when it’s over goes a long way. Don’t stress about the nigger picture; try to occasionally live in the moment. It’s frustrating when people say being happy is easy; it’s not. It takes time and effort but it can be done and it is worth it. Especially with term almost done and exams/assignments looking, it can be difficult to look on the bright side. Just keep swimming.
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issue 12
Volume 2
Editorial
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unbearable weight of my being. I went to sleep after that, because it was 1AM and all the excitement made me tired. Now, despite the anti-climax, I was delighted with myself for reaching the top of that tower. For a minute there, I was (virtually) on top of the (virtual) world. And it got me thinking, as do most of the allegories I’ve included in my editorials, about Endeavour and why we bother with it.
An Endeavour worth doing Guess what I’ve been doing recently? Gaming! I know: after all this time, I’m finally a hip youth, playing ‘vidya’ games and all. I was never a gamer, you see. I enjoyed a bit of Crash Bandicoot when I was small - didn’t we all - and since then I only dipped in and out of very short browser-based games if I liked the art style. Oh, and the Sims. I’m great at the Sims. Recently, though, I started playing a new game. It’s significantly longer than what I’m used to, but considering it’s mostly storyline-based and centres around what the characters say as opposed to what they do, it’s not something that requires a whole lot of skill. I had been lulled into a false sense of security, is what I’m saying, until I found myself trapped in a little mini-game that required my character to climb a tower. It was about six platforms high, and should therefore have required about six jumps, right? Wrong!
This marks my last editorial as editor of Byline, and it all started back when I first joined the Express in 2015. I applied for the position of Humour Editor about a week after the CAO results were first released, and I got my place on a course in this college. I’ve been here ever since, despite my motivations for doing so changing over time. When I first applied to this publication, I wanted some sort of work experience, because I had my heart set on a career in journalism upon graduation. Now, not so much. Instead, I’ve stayed because I just enjoy being here. I enjoy the writing, I enjoy being around a genuinely nice group of people. Even though just ‘enjoying’ something for the sake of it isn’t necessarily going to get me a career doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile.
Anyway, I just want to say thank you to all of you: everyone who’s read Byline this year or even picked it up for the first time today; all of the Express staff; but particularly the people who’ve worked so hard to make this year’s Byline so bomb (as the kids say). You’re all the real MVPs: I’m just the guy who sells overpriced bottles of water at the match. I hope you’ve all had a great year despite, y’know, *gestures vaguely at world events*. Good luck to all in the last few weeks of the college year - not that you Forty goddamn minutes I was there, try- need it, you smart cookies - and remember happy, it can’t ing to get up that tower. I have no idea that, if it makes you be that bad. what I was doing wrong, but it was nigh-on impossible to make it past the third step. It As long as was unbelievably frustrating. I wanted to e v e r y break my laptop in half by minute 17, but t h i n g by that time I figured I had spent too long is conat it to give up now (I also couldn’t figure sensuout how to save and quit, so that did play a al. role in my decision to keep jumping, yes). So I huffed and I puffed and I tried, tried again to climb that unholy tower, that grotesque Tower of Babylon, until finally I made it to the top, jumped down, and the scene ended. That was it. That was the whole reason for my pain, my stress, the
HOROSCOPES Aries (Mar. 21st - Apr. 19th) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are.. giant floppy dicks in your near future. Lucky cocktail of items: Lube and viagra. Taurus (Apr. 20th - May 20th) - You cross my palms with silver, and I see that there are...many leeches in your future. Lucky defensive action: The stars weren’t clear if these were literal or metaphorical leeches, so get ready to fight off different types of blood-sucking parasites, human or otherwise. Gemini (May 21st - June 21st) - You cross my palms with silver, and I see that there are...massive piles of debt in your future. Lucky appointment: Your next appointment with Medium Phil. Keep giving me money, I’ll eventually see fortune for you...eventually.
with Medium phil
all those ‘Virgo=virgin’ jokes, huh? Lucky item: A condom. Hahaha, no, it’s too late for that. Maybe chug some penicillin, see how you get on. Libra (Sept. 23rd - Oct. 22nd) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...positive results on your next test! Sadly it’s an STI test. Enjoy the chlamydia! Lucky action: Washing my hands, and the silver. I know where you’ve been! Scorpio (Oct. 23rd - Nov. 21st) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...much deserved awards and praise in your future!...well, for some of you. Unlucky animal noise: Quack. Sagittarius - (Nov. 22nd - Dec. 21st) You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...cats in your future. Sorry Lucky fact: They’re kittens, so they’re not fully evil furballs...yet.
Cancer (June 22nd - July 21st) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...many starbars in your near future Lucky action: Not biting your tongue, dickhead.
Capricorn - (Dec. 22nd - Jan. 20th) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...shlaps in your future. C’mere and I thwap you. Lucky action: Remembering to do your freakin section GREG!...you dumpling.
Leo (July 22nd - Aug. 21st) - You cross my palms with plastic (VISA & Mastercard only), and I see that there are... dark nights ahead of you. Shouldn’t have picked a fight with the sun then, lion boy. Lucky fact: Lions would totally beat the sun in a fight, fuck you.
Aquarius - (Jan. 21st - Feb. 19th) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...twinks, bears and power-bottoms in your future. Wahey! Lucky: you.
Virgo (Aug. 22nd - Sept. 22nd) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are... many, many STIs in your future. Jesus, I guess we shouldn’t have made
Pisces - (Feb. 20th - Mar. 20th) - You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are...nothing...wait, what the fuck? Lucky … thing: Wait shit, why couldn’t I see anything? Maybe you didn’t pay me enough...yeah...that’s it...
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
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Explicit Content: Famous Banned Books
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Banning books is, in a way, a fascinating process.
Sarah Ryan, Byline Associate Editor
Censorship is a tricky subject. For some, censorship serves as an important tool in preventing dangerous ideas from reaching the impressionable or those who have the power to put them to use. For others, the banning of books is equivalent to burning them. Some would say that book in itself could be an indication of literary genius, and that it’s very possible that banning serves no purpose other than denying the masses freedom of information or making the novel itself all that more enticing for those that desire to read it. But, whether you’re for it or against it, it’s a fact that some of the modern world’s most celebrated literature, works like Ulysses or The Catcher in the Rye, have been banned somewhere, at some point in their history. With that, here are some of the world’s most famous books that have been (or still are) banned across the world. 1. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger Today, J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye remains the favourite coming-ofage novel of many people around the globe. Taught in hundreds of schools and a beloved novel by a countless amount of adults and young people alike for its classic perspective on what it feels like to grow up, The Catcher in the Rye is usually fondly remembered by readers for
its expression of the complex feelings of disillusionment and aimlessness felt by adolescents everywhere. But, this was not a view shared by The Censorship of Publications Board in the Republic of Ireland, who banned the novel in 1951 for its obscene content which include profanity, sexual scenes and blasphemy. The book has since been unbanned, as most books banned by the Board are after a period of about twelve years. 2. The Country Girls - Edna O'Brien Books may be banned in the Republic of Ireland for two reasons: 1. Indecent or obscene content or 2. advocating the procurement of abortion or miscarriage, or the use of any method, treatment or appliance for the purpose of procuring an abortion (surprise, surprise). The Country Girls by Edna O’Brien was published in London in 1960 and was almost immediately banned in Ireland for its indecent content. The novel tells the story of two fourteen year-old girls, Cait and Baba, and their planned escape from convent school. The novel portrays an intimate relationship between Cait, the tragically innocent protagonist, and a Mr.Gentleman and deals with subjects such as sexuality and the complicated transition from girlhood to womanhood.
acters, Bernard Marx, through his dystopian world in which advancements in science and technology have created an eerily utopian society. Brave New World was banned in Ireland in the year of its publication for being anti-religion and its criticism of the traditional family, as well as some (gasp!) strong language . As with The Catcher in the Rye, the novel was later unbanned after a significant period.
4. The Raped Little Runaway - Jean Martin The Raped Little Runaway, written by Jean Martin made headlines as the first book to be banned for obscenity in Ireland in over eighteen years. The book was banned after a unanimous vote by all five members of The Censorship of Publications Board on the grounds that the novel featured several descriptions of rape of a child. All child pornopgraphy is illegal in Ireland, however fictional it may be. Board chairman Shane McCarthy said in his statement: “The collective view of the board was that it was a vile publication as it contained graphic descriptions of the rape of a minor.” The Raped Little 3. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley. Runaway seems near imposPublished in 1932, Brave New World sible to find even outside of follows the one of the novel’s main char- Ireland. The novel shows up
no results on Amazon and even the novel’s alleged publishers, STAR Publications turns up with questionable results when searched, perhaps for good reason. Banning books is, in a way, a fascinating process. It is a curious thing that books such as The Catcher in the Rye and The Raped Little Runaway would have, at one point in time, been lumped together on the same restricted list in Ireland. But, it seems that a country’s history with literature can reveal quite a lot about the development of the society itself and its ever-changing collective psyche. It can show where a society is at with respect to its attitudes about what exactly constitutes ‘obscene’ when we are discussing sex, relationships, profanity, religion and many other topics, and that in itself is very interesting indeed.
Film & TV
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Movie (tv) Recommendations:
GETS REAL
I’m cheating with this again in my final week, but Black Mirror is such a strange but interesting series – you’ll watch the first episode which is about a member of the Royal Family being kidnapped, and the ransom is that the Prime Minister has to have sex with a pig, and you’ll make your mind up very quickly if you’re into the idea of watching a series about hypothetical ridiculous events.
New to Netflix: Iron Fist came out last week, and I haven’t binged it yet, but jeez have the reviews been pretty mixed. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if you want to watch it.
Just Out: Go Go Power Rangersssssssss!! And the Lost City of Z is coming out too, which might be okay? It kind of just came out of nowhere. Also with this being the last issue, keep an eye out for those amazing summer blockbusters, with Guardians of the Galaxy 2 being the first to welcome in a good summer.
Person of the Week Ciara Dinneen – She wrote my whole section, isn’t she great? (If you’re looking for a film related person, I’d say anyone except the director of the upcoming live action Mulan movie, what are you thinking, not using the same music???)
Ciara Dinneen, Deputy Features Editor
A prime example of a classic 90’s American sitcom, centred around the comedic and charming bravado and banter-full antics of one infamous Will Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air brought much more than just laughs and top class entertainment to viewers across the US (and later the wider world). There were many times Fresh Prince got very real, addressing serious topical societal issues and teaching important valuable lessons. For those of you who may not have seen Fresh Prince (disappointing) or are not even aware of the very famous theme song (just shocking to be honest), here’s a little bit of background and setting: Will Smith, a very street-smart kid, comes from a working-class background in Philadelphia where he lives with his mum. He gets into a fight with some guys from the ‘hood who were causing trouble. This upsets his mother, and makes her very anxious about his future, so she decides to send him away to stay with his aunt and uncle in the town of Bel Air, Los Angeles. Will’s working class background ends up clashing in various humorous ways with the upper class “bourgeois” world of the Banks family – Will’s uncle Phil & aunt Vivian and their children, Will’s cousins, Hilary, Carlton, and Ashley. The first few “issue addressing” episodes tampered mainly with incidents of racial discrimination and class prejudice; we see the Banks family being exposed to racial
discrimination and subject to incidents of racial intolerance. It wasn’t long before Fresh Prince began to delve further into societal problems that were relevant then and are still relevant today as issues like sexism, drug and alcohol abuse, and gun violence all came to the fore in one way or another throughout the seasons. In the episode “Mistaken Identity”, we see an issue of racial discrimination and racial profiling being dealt with. Will and Carlton are pulled over and arrested while driving Uncle Phil’s business associate’s fancy car. Carlton, having grown up without firsthand experience of racial profiling, struggled to come to terms with his race being the impetus for the officer’s suspicion. He says that the cops were just “doing their jobs,” but Will and Uncle Phil know what was really the incentive. At the end of the episode Carlton asks his Dad “Dad, if you were a policeman, and you saw a car driving at two miles
an hour, wouldn’t you stop it?” His father’s reply is a profound and eye opening one; “I asked myself that question the first time I was stopped. Good night, son.” Carlton is left to ponder this alone, and we hear him say “I would stop it,” which really drives him in his difficulty to comprehend the fact the racial profiling is a thing and something that he will be confronted with and expected to deal with and handle in the future, when he is no longer under the protection and guardianship of his father. In “Guess Who’s Coming To Marry?” (Season 2, Episode 6) we see this issue of racism being addressed, but in a
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FILM & TV Editor - Aaron Frahill
very interesting way. This episode demonstrates how racial discrimination and prejudice works both ways, as it is Will’s mother who has difficulty in being open to the idea of her sister marrying a white man. Tension builds as Will’s mother, Vy, is openly disapproving and unaccepting of this and she refuses to attend the wedding and forbids Will to. She does, in the end, overcome her prejudiced feelings towards her sister’s fiancé and attends the wedding. “She Ain’t Heavy” (Season 2, Episode 8) addresses the particularly poignant issue of body image, which is especially relevant in our society today. Will hits it off with a good close friend named Dee-Dee, but her size keeps him from asking her to the dance. Though they both have a lot in common as soon as his friends start teasing him he takes the shallow way out. This confronts the tendency that many of us fall victim to from time to time; the tendency to judge things and/or people based on appearances, allowing ourselves to choose aesthetic values over more important internal and meaningful values. Will does put his judgemental inclination aside in the end, however, despite what his friends may say or think. When he sees Dee-Dee at the dance with another guy he reaches out to her, apologising for his behaviour and the two reconcile as good friends. In “Blood Is Thicker Than Mud” (Season 4, Episode 8) we are presented with an issue of class prejudice that also deals on some level with internal racism. Will and Carlton are given humiliating tasks as part of their initiation into a college fraternity, but the fraternity president has a personal prejudice against Carlton and his rich family (he equates being black with being working class and from the ‘hood). Will is accepted into the fraternity but Carlton is denied membership. The preppy Carlton tells the frat rep that they shouldn’t judge him because of his Bel-Air background. “Being
black isn’t what I’m trying to be, it’s what I am. I’m running the same race and jumping the same hurdles you are, so why are you tripping me up?” Asks Carlton. “You said we need to stick together, but you don’t even know what that means.”
particularly within the black community. Will gets shot in an attempt to protect Carlton in a scary ATM robbery. During a hospital visit with Will, Carlton reveals that he has bought a gun so it will never happen again. Will emotionally insists Carlton give him the gun: “I saved your “You’ve Got to Be A Football Hero” (Sea- life. You owe me!” Carlton leaves the gun, son 4, Episode 12) addresses the issue of al- and Will cries as he removes the bullets cohol abuse in a very heart wrenching and from the chamber. poignant episode. Will gets very drunk at a party, trying to prove his social status Not only is Fresh Prince absolutely hiwithin college life and trying to impress a larious and just plain brilliant. It’s also girl he likes. He participates in a drinking provides very good life lessons, and really game in competition with the boyfriend drives home the importance of addressof the girl he fancies. He acts foolishly ing and confronting important societal and recklessly when he attempts to drive issues in television himself home, and ends up passing out in shows, in the hope a cemetery. He hallucinates and is visited that raising awareby the ghost of a young boy who was killed ness will in by a drunk driver; turn lead to increased atWill: That’s quite an arm you got on you. tempt in combatting them. J. Cole said it Billy: I know, I was going to play for the in ‘No Role Modelz’: “First things first rest Dodgers. in peace Uncle Phil / For real, you the only Will: Maybe you will some day... Billy, father that I ever knew.” This is a direct how did you die? reference to Uncle Phil in Fresh Prince, Billy: I was playing ball in my yard, this who was Cole’s only father figure growing car jumped the curve and came at me. The up. Fact. The actor who played him, James driver was drunk. Avery, died on December 31st, 2013, just a year before this song was released. Cole “Bullets over Bel Air” (Season 5, Episode looked up to Uncle Phil, like one would a 15) deals with the issue of gun violence father, because he didn’t have a real-life and the idea of violence-fighting-vio- male role model. Even if you don’t want lence in general, which was an especially to watch Fresh Prince for these reasons, prominent issue in the society at the time, though, do give it a go purely because it
is just great. Really. Seriously, just watch it. (J. Cole did, if that isn’t reason enough then...).
MUSIC
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Beginners guide to: Frank Ocean:
Rusangano Family Make History and Win RTÉ Choice Music Prize
1. Pyramids 2. Swim Good 3. Thinking Bout You 4. Super Rich Kids 5. White Ferrari 6. Nikes 7. Nights 8. Solo 9. Novacane
Kanye Story of The Week: Following the release of the music video for the Late Registration single “Diamonds From Sierra Leone,” West used the money raised from the music video to raise awareness about blood diamonds and
Cailean Coffey, Music Editor
win was announced during the star-studded awards show in Vicar Street on March Rusangano Family, a three-piece rap group 9th. The show, hosted by Eoghan McDerfrom Limerick and Clare, recently made mott, saw stunning performances from history to become the first group of pre- nine of the ten nominated acts for the presdominantly black artists to win the RTÉ tigious Album of The Year award (James Choice Music Prize (previously known as Vincent McMorrow was unable to attend the Meteor Choice Award). The historic due to touring). Highlights of the show
included performances from The Divine Comedy, Bantum and We Cut Corners. Rusangano Family, however, gave one of the most crowd-pleasing performances of the evening, urging everyone out of their seats and asking them to question what it means to be Irish. The band, as well as their family, friends and fans, were later shocked and visibly stunned to discover that their album, “Let The Dead Bury The Dead”, had been selected as the winner. In their very emotional acceptance speech, the band (made up of God Knows, MuRli and MynameisjOhn) said that the album was written through pain and struggle but that it was all worth it in the end. This victory is being viewed as an important landmark in Irish Hip-Hop’s attempt to be taken seriously and will be the beginning of a wave of Irish rap and R&B acts. The award for Irish Song of The Year was also awarded on the night, with Picture This coming out on top with their song ‘Take My Hand’. The band were unable to accept the award in person, as they are currently in Nashville recording their debut album.
the abuse of human rights that happen in the mining process.
Hothouse Flowers : Live at St. Luke’s Review
Albums Coming Soon:
Maebh Butler, Music Writer
1. Emperor Of Sound – Mastadon – 31st March 2. The Ride – Nelly Furtado – 31st March 3. Memories…Do Not Open – The Chainsmokers – 7th April 4. For
Crying
Out Loud – Kasabian – 14th April 5. Melodrama – Lorde – 16th June
Friday 10th March saw the arrival of Hothouse Flowers to Live At St. Luke’s. Supporting the band was Lisa Lambe, whose debut album was released in 2015. Brimming with energy and soul, the band delivered an outstanding gig. Their stunning performance intertwined musical professionalism with a good aul jamming sesh down the pub, as beneath the music it was obvious they were just having a good time. As their cover of Johnny Nash’s “I Can See Clearly Now” recently drew them back to the public eye after a feature on Jeremy Clarkson’s The Grand Tour, there has been much hype about the Irish rock group.But there is so much more to Hothouse Flowers than the cover we all know and love so dearly, and this was displayed through their variety of mu-
sic performed on the night. It’s quite obvious that nothing could phase them, as demonstrated by Ó’Maonlaí with a carefree shrug when in the midst of busting one of his funky moves, a microphone fell to the floor.
tertain and to put on a good show. And by God did they do exactly that. When Lambe returned for the encore of the show, and the aisle began to fill with audience members, shaking and moving to the music, it was easy to forget that you were just at a concert in Cork City, and not witnessing They were here to play good music, to en- some sort of spiritual resurrection.
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music Editor - Cailean Coffey
‘Divided’ Consensus on Sheeran’s Latest Album
Wired Review Lucas Brun, Music Writer
Ruth O’Dwyer, Music Writer
that the album demonstrates a very different and distinctive musicality compared to So what do we really think of Ed Sheeran’s his previous offerings - who knows? Howbig comeback album ‘÷’? There has been ever, I can only vouch for my own opinion mixed reviews about the album since it’s of ÷ and on that note, I support what Ed official release. Although some of my peers Sheeran said in a recent interview: ‘I really and people in general have expressed their believe this is my best work to date’. sheer disappointment of the Irish-influenced album over the last two weeks, I can- The album is easy to relate to, as it depicts not agree with these negative opinions, as the cycle of life through its lyrical diverI have simply and wholeheartedly took to sity and musical variety; For example, the album. Perhaps the dislike exists be- the song ‘Perfect’ reflects a childhood rocause the majority of the Ed Sheeran fan mance, portraying both the destruction of club think that the album did not live up this bond and the restoration of this bond to their expectations, or it could be the fact into an adult relationship, which people
can often identify with. The sensational song ‘Galway Girl’ and the holiday-themed ‘Barcelona’ also exemplify the feelings and emotions associated with falling in love, while ‘Happier’ and ‘New Man’ embody the inevitable heartbreak that comes with being in love. Aside from love, the darker moments of life resonate within the album too through the songs ‘Eraser’, ‘Save Myself’ and ‘Supermarket Flowers’, again to which listeners can already understand, or will understand at some stage. Therefore, I highly praise and appreciate every component of this album. 10/10
Festival Watch Longitude: Longitude has recently announced its three headline acts and is already proving to be a sell-out, with tickets for the Saturday night already sold out. Stormzy and Picture This are set to headline the Friday night of the festival, with The Weeknd and Skepta taking to the stage on Saturday. Sunday was the most controversial, with Mumford and Sons announced to curate and headline the night. Twitter was in uproar over the decision, considering the predominantly hip-hop line-up of last year. Also scheduled to play over the weekend are Jack Garratt, Kaytranada, Mac Miller, Wiley, Glass Animals and Catfish And The Bottlemen. Longitude Festival will take place on July 14th, 15th and 16th. 3-day tickets are on sale for €189.50, 2-day tickets for €129.50 and 1-day tickets for €69.50
On March the 10th, British alternative rock band Mallory Knox released their third studio album Wired. This short (only 41-minute) album packs a number of good tracks, and begins with a strong instrumental with the opening notes of ‘Giving It Up’. Throughout the album, you will feel and experience some strong 2000’s vibes (especially with the song titled ‘California’). The album itself is a good representation of the alternative rock genre, with some of its tracks reminding you of bands such as The Killers. For fans and avid listeners of alternative rock, this album may seem a little ‘soft’. However, it picks up some ‘harsher’ and heavier going sounds in some tracks, ‘Better Off Without You’ for example, before going back to its overall upbeat atmosphere. This album is a good introduction to the genre for those unfamiliar with it and will delight those who already love Mallory Knox. It might not go down in history as one of the ‘great albums’ but it is a good record to put on during your studies or in between some of the deeper works from their repertoire.
Interview
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An Interview with Beoga
decline in popularity that the amount of children learning traditional Irish instruments has decreased, with both parents and children preferring the learn more popular instruments such as piano and clarinet. Then “Divide” was released. Ed Sheeran’s third album shot to number one across the world upon release and saw all its tracks clog up both the U.K. and U.S. singles charts. Two of “Divide’s” most popular tracks, Galway Girl and Nancy Mulligan, feature the Irish Trad group Beoga, and Cailean Coffey - Music Editor their feature has given the traditional Over the past ten, fifteen, even twen- music trade a big lift. ty years traditional Irish music has been on a steady decline. There was When asked about the band’s impact once a time when Irish music dominat- on Irish music by being featured on ed the radio, musicians could make a “Divide”, Eamon Murray, the bodhran good living off it and were well known player for Beoga, took a quick moacross the country, and people were ment to think, looking up to the roof interested in it. People were experi- of Kilkenny’s Hibernian hotel, bementing with traditional instruments fore replying: “it’s a big lift for Irish to test their limits and capabilities and music as far as I’m concerned. I mean once-divided regions of the country what it’s doing is bringing that whole came together to develop a variety of sound back to popular culture again.” sounds and songs. Recently however, He smiles as he reveals that “the rethe landscape is very different. It’s al- sponse we’ve got directly from a lot most unheard of to hear traditional of our friends and music people and Irish music on the national radio sta- teachers and that is that they’ve never tions (outside of Raidió na Gaeltachta), seen so many young kids re-enthused very few people ever go looking for it to actually go and play the fiddle or the and it is very hard for traditional mu- accordion. I mean, that has to be a good sicians to tour and to make an income thing. I think if there’s young ones goentirely based on music. It’s had such a ing to their classes this week thinking
that it’s cool again to be playing Irish music then that has to be a good thing.” Eamon has met us the morning after Beoga’s performance as part of Kilkenny Trad Festival, a performance that had everyone in the crowded venue dancing, laughing and drinking with them and a celebration of music that continued until the early hours of the morning. He’s sticking around Kilkenny for the weekend as his wife and fellow musician, Pauline Scanlon, is set to perform the following evening in the newly renovated Medieval Mile Museum.
“I mean what it’s doing is bringing that whole sound back to popular culture again.”.” Eamon was born and raised in Randalstown in Co. Antrim. He came from a musical family and one where his parents encouraged all their children to play music. Eamon began by playing the tin whistle in primary school but had very little interest in it. What he really wanted to play was the drums and after a few months of pes-
tering managed to strike a n
he
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Interview by CAILEAN COFFEY
"ITS A BIG LIFT FOR IRISH MUSIC AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED''
agreement with his parents. “My folks said ‘we’ll get you a bodhran first and if you can hack that and keep at it we’ll get you a drum kit’, and that’s how it was.” His first teacher was a man called Charlie Graham, who taught Eamon and his friends the basics of the bodhran. After a few years, they began going to annual workshops and developed their skill from there. At the time, the bodhran wasn’t widely used in traditional music and was in the middle of an experimental phase. “At the time the bodhran wasn’t really being played the way it’s being played now so we were learning at a time of real development in hindsight. I suppose people were just coming up with new ideas and it was an exciting time to be playing Irish music because Riverdance was happening and tunes were getting faster and odder and things were getting a bit more exploratory, so I think that spurred everybody on.” Around the age of 13, Eamon and his friend Sean Óg Graham, a button accordion player, became infatuated with the idea of forming a band. Neither, however, could have guessed how their band would be born. Listowel was the setting for the 2002 All-Ireland Fleadh, and while taking part in a trad session in the town Eamon and Sean Óg first played with two future members of Beoga, Damian McKee and Liam Bradley. “There was definitely a lot of energy coming out there and on the first play it kinda clicked and we were like “Ohh yeah we should maybe explore this.” The decision to make a band, however, was not instant. “Well ayy yeah it was a bit of hindsight in truth,” Eamon recalls, laughing. “We were kinda thrown into it because a friend of mine was running
a charity gig and he was like ‘look, let's have a boy band against a girl band for charity’ and he said that would be in three months, so we had three months to put together a 30 or 40 minute set, so that’s how it started.” Upon concept, the band began to play gigs around Northern Ireland and very quickly began to write their own original material. It soon came a time to record an album, and as 15 year olds, the band were very excited by the prospect of releasing their own material. “There was a good energy about it so we went into Mudd Wallace, who sadly passed away last year - he was the first producer really - and we went in and recorded everything in a day and he was like ‘if you want I can produce this and we can take our time at it and take a few months and make a really good album’ and that kinda got us on the road.” Their debut album, “A Lovely Madness”, was released in 2004, to mass critical acclaim from all corners of the world. “A Lovely Madness” was followed by “Mischief”, in which the band added vocalist and renowned fiddle player Niamh Dunne to their ranks.“It just added a whole new dimension you know, that to be fit to do songs, it gives us so much more scope” Eamon recalls of the addition “Niamh is an amazing fiddler and we had a lot of fiddle lines on our original
music and it was great to have that dimension going forward”. The band followed these releases with 2009’s “The Incident” (Shortlisted for a Grammy for Best Contemporary World Music Album in 2010), “How To Tune A Fish” in 2011 and 2016’s “Before We Change Our Mind” which was recorded almost entirely in one or two takes. Looking back on the recording process for their latest album, Eamon says “So we did that record with no overdubs, with a different producer, in a different studio and took a completely different approach just to capture what I feel is the best thing, the live aspect. When I listen to old stuff I can still hear, I can visualise, producers and engineers and everyone falagaling over one beat at a time and it’s just not the way to make music, in my opinion.”
it’s really hard to tour in Ireland when you’re starting out. There’s a lot of problems in Ireland, in my opinion; there’s not enough original Irish music played on the radio and touring wasn’t subsidized unless you had arts council grants or something like that. Venues are trying to self-sustain and that means the guarantees aren’t great . Places like Germany are really well and are well run, so arts centers always have budgets to get acts in so it meant that we could go in and we weren’t wondering if we were going to be paid.” While performing in Dallas, the band were awarded The U.S. House of Representatives Certificate of Congressional Representation. The band still, however, have no idea what it means and often forget about it until reminded. “We were on stage in Dallas Texas and this politician came on and just awarded us this thing, I’ve no idea, we didn’t really know it was a big deal really, but these things happen sometimes”
“There’s a lot of problems in Ireland, in my opinion; there’s not enough original Irish music played on the radio”
In similar fashion, the band were equally surprised when contacted by Northern Irish singer Foy Vance to ask to demo on a few tunes for his touring partner and close friend, Ed Sheeran. “About a year ago Foy sent me a message asking we would be up for trying some stuff and going over and trying some ideas and we said absolutely. They’d been listening to some of our stuff on the road whenever he [Sheeran] and Foy were on the road and he was really into it and he wanted to try to do some writing and he had a couple of demo ideas that he sent over and we demoed some stuff back and he really liked it and so we went over for three “....on the first play it kinda or four days to his gaff and to his stuclicked and we were like dio.” And that’s how it began, the re-in“Ohh yeah we should vigoration of Irish traditional music. As the interview comes to a close, he maybe explore this.”” smiles, thanks us for coming and goes As the band has grown in popularity, back to sit with his family. He’s overthey have been allowed to tour across whelmingly calm while the world of the world, including Australia, central traditional music praises his band’s Europe and the U.S. When asked if he name and while the whole world sings had ever thought the band would be along to a song they co-wrote, But, in able to tour in the U.S., Eamon replied his own words, “these things happen”. “We wanted to expand purely because
GAMING
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Upcoming Releases
NieR: Automata Is Brilliant And Properly Unique
Yooka-Laylee 3D platformers are back! Yeah! Everything I’ve seen of this game makes me think that it’ll be great. Hopefully it leads to a resurgence for a genre that has been sorely missed. Jonathan Soltan, Gaming Editor
Persona 5 “I’ve been waiting for this!” The game announced as “Coming 2014” is finally, actually coming! And so am I!... to a shop to buy a copy...
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War 3 Hey, it’s that thing that Starcraft stole pretty much everything from. And now it’s back to go head to head with Starcraft. Cool. Tekken 7 Tekken is pretty much the only series that still does that thing where they release in Japanese arcades like 3 years before they release on consoles and it makes me like it more for some reason.
When people use the word unique, most of the time they just mean that something is unusual or not the norm. This time, though, I’m using the word unique in its proper context. I really do believe that in a lot of ways, NieR: Automata is one of a kind. From the very first moments of the game, you can tell that it’s very unconventional. You begin in a vertically scrolling shooter section, then with twin-stick controls, then onto the ground into the traditional fast-paced third-person combat that makes up the bulk of the game, then into 2D side-scrolling and then into top-down action. If all of that sounds very hectic, it is a little bit. But that’s the tutorial stage and the rest of the game isn’t quite so crazy. That kind of insanity epitomises why I love this game. There’s absolutely no way you’d get that kind of mish-mash of styles from your standard focustested-to-death Western-developed game. And that’s not to say that all Japanese games are inherently more creative or superior, but there is a different feel to them that is very obvious and tangible. If I can very unfairly generalise for a moment, I would say that big, Western developers are very good at making games that would be considered 7’s or 8’s whereas Japanese games are either going to be 1’s or 10’s. Put simply: I could never see a game like NieR: Automata coming out of a studio like Ubisoft or EA. It’s got just enough
Japanese wackiness to set it apart but still manages to tell an incredibly compelling story. And what a story it is. Set on Earth thousands of years in the future, you play as an android named 2B trying to take back Earth from the machines that drove humanity to the moon. That may sound like a load of bollocks, and it kind of is, but damn if director Yoko Taro didn’t find a way to make me care about absolutely everything that happened in this game. Which brings me to possibly the best thing about this game: 99% of the sidequests are actually interesting and add either lore and/or cool character moments. In most open-world rpg’s, sidequests are almost always nothing more than a way to pad out the runtime of the game and give you something to do while you’re ignoring the main story and exploring the world. Not so in NieR: Automata. The actual tasks of the quests may, for the most part, be the usual “go here, kill/find this” fare that you would find in other games, but the story surrounding the quests are, in the vast majority of cases, very interesting and have a huge influence on your understanding of the world and the beings that inhabit it. Aside from the extra bits of story that you get from doing sidequests, the material rewards are actually worthwhile as well. Not only do they sometimes net you a new weapon to add to your ever-growing arsenal, they also give you the much needed materials used to upgrade those weapons to give you increased damage and a myriad of weapon-specific unique bonuses. To finally get away from the minutiae of sidequest rewards, the world of NieR: Automa -ta offers potential screenshots at every turn. Much like The Last of Us, the post-apocalyptic
Earth of NieR offers its own brand of natural beauty. Coupled with an absolutely stunning soundtrack, playing the game I am often struck with an almost physical wave of melancholy simply walking around. And I mean that in the best possible way. The music of the game probably deserves its own two-page review, but I am far too under qualified to try something like that. All I’ll say is that even if you don’t care about this game at all, you should at least give some of the music a listen. Even though most of the music from the game that I’ve been humming to myself for the past week is the normal ambient music, my favourite music-related moment in the whole game was a jaw-dropping transition form game audio into boss theme. Like, my jaw literally dropped. I’m getting chills just writing about it. If it seems like I’m gushing too much then it’s only because I think this game deserves far more attention than what it has been getting. Not to say that it’s been totally overlooked but I feel like it’s gotten lost in the shuffle a bit since, Zelda, Horizon and the meme machine Mass Effect have all released in close proximity to it. I think NieR: Automata comfortably sits in the top five PS4 games of all time and may climb even higher on my own personal list once I’ve had more time to mull it all over. Poor Gravity Rush 2 only just got up there, too. Disregarding all the artsy fartsy stuff I’ve spent this whole review talking about, at its core NieR: Automata is an open-world RPG with incredibly fun and satisfying combat with that trademark Platinum Games feel. More impressively though, it’s a story with no human characters that manages to successfully explore what it means to be human and, even simpler, what it means to “be” at all.
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gaming Editor - Jonathan Soltan
The Intricacies of an RPG Kieran Barrett – Gaming Writer
Mass Effect: Andromeda released last week and while I haven’t yet had the chance to play it for myself, it seems to be an intensely polarising experience, with some critics and fans outright hating it due to the lacklustre animations or boring side quests, while others love it purely because it scratches that particular Sci-Fi itch. My anticipation for the game had been growing as the release drew near, and even though my excitement was almost tangible, it was accompanied by a healthy dose of scepticism. BioWare do not seem to be the studio that they once were. The studio that brought us some of my favourite RPG’s in Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect. Indeed, the red flag has been raised during the development of Mass Effect: Andromeda, most notably due to some high profile departures from the studio, which affected their previous game, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and which seems Take for instance The Witcher 3, a game to be affecting Mass Effect. which many will swear by as the greatest “...and even though my RPG, if not one of the greatest games, of all excitement was almost time. So revered is the Witcher 3 that it has tangible, it was accompa- become a benchmark on which to judge othnied by a healthy dose of er Role-Playing experiences. In fact, there is a similarity between my experience with scepticism. .” the Witcher and Mass Effect franchises One of the many criticisms I have been see- in that the first time I played them was the ing since the review embargo lifted on An- third instalment in both series of games. I dromeda is the forgettable side missions, re- played Mass Effect 3 for the first time on petitive fetch quests and indeed even some the PlayStation 3, and I became engrossed. of the characters and world building are I had to find out more about this universe cited as being subpar. The reason I believe and so I bought the full trilogy on the Xbox BioWare are becoming a shell of the studio 360. The way in which my decisions carried they once were is the departure of senior through from each game was something I staff, the most notable in this case being Ca- had never seen done before, and indeed my sey Hudson, who directed the original trilo- second playthrough of Mass Effect 3 was gy of Mass Effect games, and who left Bio- immeasurably more enjoyable as I knew Ware in 2014. From what I’ve gathered, the who each character was, and I felt a conneccombat and exploration in Andromeda are tion to them. However, having played The fantastic, which I am happy about, but the Witcher 3, I felt no need to go back and play combat is not what gets me excited about through the first two games as I believe the Mass Effect. The foundation of Mass Effect narrative was so masterfully crafted and exis the characters and the world building; it’s ecuted that it catered for new players. While what made Mass Effect 2 one of the best I concede that I was confused by some of the games of the last generation, in my opinion. more in depth lore, a quick visit to the codex The characters then lent themselves seam- was more than sufficient. lessly to interesting missions and, in the case of Mass Effect, loyalty missions which From well-established franchises to brand affected how your squad felt about you, and new IP’s, I believe the timing of Mass Effect: Andromeda’s release may well have been in turn how the main quest played out. a hindrance to the game’s critical success.
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which is an early frontrunner for Game of the Year, and Horizon: Zero Dawn both released in the weeks preceding Mass Effect: Andromeda. While I do believe that each game should be judged on its own merits, releasing an RPG in the same lifetime as The Witcher 3 is bound to draw comparisons, while releasing directly after strong titles such as Zelda and Horizon didn’t help. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is considered by many as the greatest game of all time, and judging by the plethora of 10/10 reviews, Breath of the Wild is surely of the same calibre. While Horizon: Zero Dawn may not be of the same prestige as Zelda, the freedom and scope of the world combined with interesting characters and variety in quests makes for a truly breath-taking experience.
the game’s two traditional story expansions provided players with upwards of 60 hours’ worth of new content for half the price of the full game. The game even had 16 pieces of free DLC, which offered quests, character outfits and new beards for Geralt. The decisions players made as Geralt carried vast consequences across the world and the story of The Witcher 3, something which can also be said of the original Mass Effect games, however poorly the ending of Mass Effect 3 was executed.
It worried me when it was announced that Mass Effect: Andromeda was scrapping the Paragon/Renegade system, which allowed one to personalise their Shepard, making him/her seem more real. Mass Effect: Andromeda also removed the ability to have a set class, instead offering the player access to whatever class they want, whenever they “ I played Mass Effect 3 want. While this could be interpreted as a for the first time on the positive, it removes some of the replayability of the game, as there is no incentive for PlayStation 3, and I beme to start a new game with a new class and came engrossed. .” go down the respective Paragon/Renegade However, the reason I compare games of this options I didn’t choose my first time around. genre to The Witcher 3 is not just because it Nonetheless, over the next few weeks I will is a fantastic RPG in its own right, but it also no doubt be delving back into the world of has some of the best value for money and re- Mass Effect as I still feel a strong connection playability of any modern video game. Even to the franchise, and I hope that the long the mini card game, Gwent, offers more en- journey to Andromeda becomes a learning joyment than some full price releases, while curve for the developers.
fashion
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Top Trends for Summer 2017
Fake Fashion - The Rise of Counterfeit Goods in Ireland
Iris Maher- Style Editor 1. Embroidery is here to stay and it is now on every clothing item available 2. Bigger and bolder frills 3. Gingham is back with a bang, in a variety of bright colours 4. Skinny jeans are no more, comfy flares and wide legged trouser are in 5. And, of course, floral prints… groundbreaking
Iris Maher, Style Editor
Why are they so popular? The consumer culture we currently live in, leading us to believe we ‘need’ the latest fashion trends at any cost. Instagram influencers and bloggers have dominated our screens with various designer handbags, belts and shoes. I myself am fully immersed in said culture, attempting to justify spending €320 on a plain red t-shirt just because it has the Gucci symbol on it. This price begins to seem cheap after searching through items that can cost a couple of thousand, at least. An embroidered hoodie on Gucci’s website will set you back €2980. Despite knowing it is ridiculous, I still feel the need to get it. If you could get the ‘same’ thing for a fraction of the cost, why wouldn’t you? Counterfeit and fake designer items are not only evident within the fashion side of things but also jewellery (specifically watches), makeup and perfume. Makeup and perfume in particular can be quite dangerous as little to no regulations are in progress. In recent testing, some counterfeit makeup has been found to contain hazardous chemicals, including rat poison. Where are they? The first place I came across terfeit goods was on holidays in Turkey, as a young child. Stalls and markets were full of
coun-
handbags copying the styles and labels of luxury brands like Louis Vuitton and Chanel. There were endless supplies of clothing featuring popular brands at the time such as Diesel, Calvin Klein and Levi jeans. Today, one doesn’t have to go abroad to get their counterfeit fix: a quick google search will do. There are websites dedicated to selling ‘replicas’ but eBay also has lists of cheap counterfeit goods. I have also recently seen a rise in Facebook pages/shops selling various designer handbags. The production of these goods takes place mainly in China. Is it illegal? In short, yes! Certain products are referred to as counterfeit products because they infringe trademarks and/or copyright. The laws surrounding counterfeit goods come from European regulations, specifically the European Communities (Counterfeit and Pirated Goods) Regulations 1996. Although, I’m not quite sure how prevalent prosecutions are for those owning counterfeit goods. The law, with customs, revenue and the Gardaí are more focused on the importation of the goods in Ireland - counterfeit goods arriving into ireland are on the rise, according to customs.
It can still be expensive! Some counterfeit items are sold as being ‘the real deal’, leading to many paying full price (the recommended retail price in shops) for items worth very little. Items can also be expensive, although not nearly as much as the ‘real’ goods, as they can be marketed as the ‘best replicas’ out there, arguing that no one can tell the difference. The solution? Fashion is now extremely fast, with high street brands copying elements and trends from luxury brands and bringing them to the masses at affordable prices. Some of the designer pieces available today are not in a ‘classic style’ and may look outdated in a few months. Those classic pieces - the black Chanel handbag, for example - are more likely to actually increase in value rather than decrease. But another option, if you cannot live without a designer fix, is to shop for second-hand or nearly new goods in consignment stores. Is the designer logo and name really worth it?
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FASHION Editors - Kenneth Nwaezeigwe and Iris Maher
Five Things to Remember When Styling a Suit Kenneth Nwaezeigwe, Fashion Editor
No matter who you are or what you do, you’re going to find yourself in a suit at some point in life. It could go one of 2 ways, you can either dominate and wear it like a boss, or you look like you’re wearing your grandad’s hand me downs. Contrary to the Macklemore song ‘Thrift Shop’ from a few years back, your grandad’s style is not something you can pull off. So, if you’re wondering how you can look like a dapper savant in a suit, remember these 5 things; The most important thing is the Fit There’s no excuse for having an ill-fitting suit in this day and age. We’re not saying all your suits must be custom made to measure masterpieces but you just must put some thought into what you wear. Rather than just opting for just any old suit off the rack, find out what your measurements are. Check whether the suit is a regular, slim fit or tailored fit. If you’re in doubt, then opt for the more slimming fit that gives a tapered look. If you’ve extra money to spare, then take your suit to your local seamstress or tailor and just get the blazer tapered to suit you. If the shoulders fit, then know that everything else can be fixed by a tailor or seamstress.
like. For me, the bowtie is my tie of choice. You won't look just like your neighbour or your father. A bow tie allows you to be an individual and continue to subscribe to the church of you. Because you're worth it. L'Oreal Paris. If I was to opt for a tie, I want something that sets me apart from other people and most importantly, I want something that doesn’t make me seem like an old stiff. I love knitted ties as they add an extra style touch. Opt for a skinnier tie, wear patterns more, give your suit life if you’re going to wear a tie. The ‘No tie/Invisible tie’ look is something I’ve always admired. It screams “I’m an Italian savant,” however, it only works with a fitted suit and shirt that’s crisp. If the collars aren’t crisp or buttoned down, then please wear a tie.
Know your colours. Pick colours that compliment your skin tone. Not everyone can pull off a bright burgundy suit so don’t just pick out the flashiest suit in a store. Start off safe & stick to the classics. Black, Charcoal grey, navy blue, oxford blue. These colours are your best friends when deciding what colour to build your suit on. Try out different colours and see what works best for you. We’re all unique so not everyone will be able to wear the same colour. Push the boundaries a bit Invest in a Pocket Square but still make sure you’re aware of what What do Jay Gatsby, Clark Gable, Don works for you. Draper, and Daniel Craig (as well as James Bond) have in common? They’re Tie, Bowtie or No Tie all sharp dressers – and all of them This is a personal preference thing in have worn pocket squares. A pocket most situations. Unless you’re attending square is an excellent way to be bold, a formal event where a tie is a necessity while not rocking too many boats. then it’s all down to you and what you Add a pocket square in any colour or
combination of colours you can imagine, to give your suit a dash of personality and uniqueness. Pocket squares may be fairly unusual today, but they’re backed with enough historical credentials to command both fascination, and respect. In my opinion your suit is never complete without a Pocket Square. You don’t even have to be extravagant with it, even a plain white linen square will do the trick. Shoes Matter Women are obsessed with shoes. Whether it’s shoes for themselves or shoes on guys, and I think it’s time to realise that they’re one step ahead of us in that department. It’s time to fix up, and understand that a decent pair of shoes can have a huge impact on your overall appearance. Depending on what kind of suit you’re wearing your shoe selection will change so be aware of that also. The Brogue is a classic that can be paired with both a casual suit (blazer & jeans) or a formal suit. The Monk Strap is one of my favourite shoe as it really elevates the sartorial aspect of your look, whether with a suit or a pair of jeans, it shows that you put some thought into your style and outfit more than the average man.
Humour
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Weather: Viewers “frightened and confused” by RTÉ’s introduction of a new weather reporter without giving any advance warning Film and TV: Hundreds demand refund after mistakenly buying tickets to “live show” of Beauty and the Beast in Leitrim which did not feature superstar Emma Watson, but dairy farmer Dan Gorman and his favourite heifer.
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....we’ve made a good few attempts at escaping before and thought well, we do it so often...might as well raise some money for charity while we’re at it.
Health and Fitness: Burpees to replace waterboarding in the CIA’s enhanced interrogation techniques.
ing Thin Lizzy’s rock anthem ‘Jailbreak’ (Fitzpatrick declares that he’s a massive Phil Lynott fan) with special appearances from fellow prisoners and prison guards.
Crime: Havana Browns accused of robbery after student is charged EIGHT EURO NINETY FOR A JAEGER BOMB Sport: Entire nation gears up for massive wank over Ireland’s sporting prowess as next boxing sensation Michael Conlan wins big TV Listings: Come Take Me Out, Thursday, TV 3 @ 6PM: TV3 creates a formidable hybrid of its two most popular shows, where contestants must battle it out to win the heart of the show’s star by choosing what takeaway to get with no more guidance than “I don’t mind, honestly just get whatever you want”
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Headlines
Prisoners Make Jailbreak History
Sarah Ryan
Two Mountjoy prisoners have made history as winners of the Amnesty International/SVP Jailbreak 2017. The winners, John Fitzpatrick (27, convicted of fraud in 2012) and Tom McDermott (29, convicted of armed robbery in 2014), say that they are “over the moon” with their victory. The two managed to reach Location X, which was revealed to be the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, at 6.45pm German time, having set off from Dublin at 9am on Friday morning.
When asked what inspired them to participate in the challenge, the pair put it down to a combination of things: “Well, since I became a prisoner in 2014,” says McDermott, “I’ve really developed a passion for defending prisoners’ rights, so helping Amnesty in any way I could was an obvious move. Plus, we’ve made a good few attempts at escaping before and thought well, we do it so often... might as well raise some money for charity while we’re at it.”
Previous escapes? “Yeah,” Fitzpatrick chimes in, “We’ve done the Great Escape, some Cool Hand Luke inspired stuff, Shawshank-” “That was fucking awful,” interjects Tom. “Fucking awful,” agrees John. “Em... ah, Fitzpatrick and McDermott began as Chicken Run, we’ve tried to do the one favourites to win the challenge with from Chicken Run, too. The airplane the video they submitted to enter the was quite tricky though.” Jailbreak challenge going viral within twenty four hours of release. The video Jailbreak ‘17 saw Fitzpatrick and Mcfeatures the incarcerated duo lip-syncDermott not only make history with
their record-breaking amount of funds raised - just under five thousand euro - the detainee-duo also surpassed all previous records with the short time it took them to travel from Ireland to Germany, with only two stops in the U.K. and France. Of their brief journey, the McDermott says: “People were very giving, very generous. It really warmed our hearts and kept us going while we traveled. Plus, all of the airport security were very understanding. Barely glanced at our passports, and while some would say that was because we’re white, I say they decided to take a chance and give two convicted felons a break, all in the name of charity.” Representatives of The Irish Prison Service say that they are very proud of the two men, and say they are a testament to the good work of correctional facilities across the country. Officer Barry Donovan said “We are amazed by the goodwill and sheer determination of two of our most promising prisoners, John Fitzpatrick and Tom McDermott. But, if they could return to Mountjoy as soon as possible to serve the remainder of their sentences, please, that would be great.”
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HUMOUR Editor - Sarah ryan
An Interview with Op-Ed Sensation Tanya Kearney Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor
Gael? “As Minister for Transport, in my opinion, he doesn’t seem qualified for the position.” Feeling mildly confused, I try to veer the conversation elsewhere.
Tanya Kearney strides into the lobby of The Shelbourne Hotel, clearly alight with all the confidence and prestige that becoming an almost overnight oped sensation brings. She greets me, and immediately I witness the quick, impulsive opinion-offering on which she has built her wildly successful career. “Opinion: lose the coat,” she tells me. I thank her, and after a light lunch of salad which she judges as “too green”, we get right into it. Kearney, originally from Dalkey, is a mother of two and an English graduate who shot to fame following her op-ed piece in the Irish Independent about the U.S. Presidential Election. When asked what inspired her to write the piece, which featured the writer’s strong opinions about both presidential candidates, Kearney answers: “Well, I was just starting to get fed up. It was all Trump this, Hillary that, and I felt the real issues like, eh, healthcare, were getting lost in the debate. I felt compelled to write. Why should everyone else have their opinion heard and not me? So, I
One of Kearney’s fortés is social media, with the writer frequently offering up her opinions of social media websites, technology and ‘Generation Selfie’. “I truly believe that that’s why our world is in such a state of despair. Selfies. They’re the bubonic plague of this generation! Young people today are just so self-obsessed, it’s tragic.” When asked about the rumours circulating that she’s tipped to have her own editorial in the Independent, she smiles wickedly but unfortunately says no more.
“So, I did my research - I spent like two hours on Wikipedia, it was insane - and got writing.”
“I’m all for a united Ireland,” she says. “I took honours history until junior cert, and I feel that knowledge has served me well in my career. It’s something that I’m really passionate about.” What, I did my research - I spent like two hours ask the writer, does she feel are the real on Wikipedia, it was insane - and got issues in Irish politics today? “Water charges. They’re a joke. Not to mention writing.” I ask Kearney about her opinions on the Brexit.” What does she think of Leo recent elections in Northern Ireland. Varadkar’s bid for leadership of Fine
Finally, I ask Tanya, what is it that makes a great op-ed writer? “Well,” she begins, “I think the important thing is to have a broad base. You don’t even really have to be informed on anything, but the crucial thing is to make sure you’ve got an opinion on everything.” Undeniably, it seems, Tanya has found the key to success.
Buddhist Monks Confirm Buckfast to be Key to Nirvana Sarah Ryan, Humour Editor
very special substance indeed.
Buddhist monks in Sri Lanka have allegedly confirmed Buckfast Tonic Wine to play a key role in reaching Nirvana.
One monk living in the monastery, Phra Obhaso, revealed his first experience with Bucky to our reporters, and exactly how it helped him reach one of the most desired states of being: “At first, I was very afraid. I was one of the last of us to finally taste this foreign elixir and I had seen how it affected my brothers. Some of them, after falling unconscious, pissed themselves in their comatose state. Others fought viciously, swinging and and throwing punches at each others’ faces, but never actually hitting each other. But, some of my brothers who had taken the substance before meditation encouraged me, and so I forced myself to drink it.”
This was reported by the Dalai Lama, who said that a group of monks in the Na Uyana Aranya monastery had been experimenting with some imported Buckfast and recently found its properties and ingredients to be hugely helpful when attempting to reach Nirvana, or the cessation of suffering. The monks first came across the famous elixir after several bottles were left at the monastery by a backpacker from Dundee. The fact that the Scotsman had chosen to trek halfway across the world with only some disposable underwear and four bottles of Bucky indicated to the monks that this was a
while drinking it down. But I believe this suffering was a sign of greater things to come, and so it was. After the initial terror of feeling like I was going into full cardiac arrest, I meditated. Soon, I fell unconscious, and though I did indeed soil myself while sleeping, it was the deepest sleep I have ever had. I was truly without pain, I was gone from the world.”
The monks say they are hopeful to continue in following the teachings of the creators of Buckfast, the Benedictine Monks at Buckfast Abbey Phra Obhaso says he was initially put and follow their off by the viscous, suspiciously sweet divine footsteps substance. “It made me feel so nau- into a higher state seous. I was practically puking it up of being.
Fiction
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FICTION Editor - Sophie Mckenzie
Tea and Soggy Ground By Katie Myers
The mist leaves and the artificial
Hours of work to no avail, Searching for something that can’t be found, Looking through those wooden splintered shelves of the old bookshop, That used to bring the light of imagination to my eyes. Now only dull matter remains, Sluggishly guiding my weakening body, Through the mist of the early morning, Creeping into my brain through my ears, Carrying whispers for me to stay at home, Until evening were my warm bed, Unmade and inviting, Waits.
light of a bulb comes, To make believe a jolly countenance. Misery smiles upon the happy, With is gnarled yellow teeth and black tongue, With barbs at its ends, Expectantly waiting for the inevitable. Joy is the time that it takes for Misery to grow bored, It’s the child that waddles up to its mother, Grabs her hand and dragging her to escape the rain, Both giggling all the way, For the want of an umbrella. Let Ireland have more umbrellas! To helps us as we creep along
But some time during this, The moment arrives, A friend comes into view, And the performance begins again,
soggy ground, Solid but for fear of falling we inch towards firm ground. Let us be the child that cheers the lonely walker, On the footpath outside the house, With a warm fire glowing behind us, As we hold a flask of tea, Dirt still clinging onto our own yellow wellies, Remains from our own muddy journey. Bookshelves in the window, One spine invitingly silver amongst the grey and blue.
food
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FOOD Editor - Xander Cosgrave
King of Kebabs- Kofta Kounts.
like.
Xander Cosgrave - Food Editor
Kebabs: once you master this, you will truly be the Monarch of junk food that’s also kinda healthy so you don’t get scurvy. Not a particularly good monarch, mind you, but like not awful either. An alright one. Not really Louis XVI (The only French monarch to be executed) but you’re no Trajan either (the Emperor who expanded roman control to its greatest extent). You’re probably more of a Queen Anne, who was basically ‘eh’ (for a British Monarch). Look at this, Kebabs and learning, I’m bringing you the whole package for the last issue. Spiced Kofta Serves; This will make about 8 pieces of tasty meat, so I guess it really just depends on how much you want the meat sweats. What you Need
How do I make this? 1. Chop your Coriander and Mint up real fine. If you’re using fresh garlic, chop it up as well. Crush it with the flat of your knife first to make life easier. 2. Add your mince, chopped garlic and herbs, and dried herbs to your big bowl. Add about a tsp of salt as well here. Mix everything up so that all the green flecks from your herbs are reasonably well distributed. 3. Shape your meat mix into 8 pieces that are sausage shaped, and hopefully about the same size. Look at the biggest one and pinch a piece off A knife and board. the end. A baking tray/ frying pan. 4. Put some oil in the frying pan. Heat A big ol’ bowl. the pan. Take the piece of meat you A smaller bowl. pinched off and cook it. Taste it. Is A spatula or fork or something. it lacking in flavour or whatever? Skewers if you want. Maybe sprinkle a little salt over the rest of them. (If you want to bake Ingredients. them, just do this part with the bakMeatballs: ing tray and oven) 500g of Lamb (or beef) mince 5. If you’re using skewers, you prob2 tsp ground cumin ably should have soaked them in 2 cloves of garlic, or 2 tsp of Garlic powwater, but honestly this only works der about half the time so I just stick A cup of Fresh coriander them in at the end and pretend they A dozen or so sprigs of mint. were there the whole time. 1 tsp chilli flakes 6. To cook your Kofta, in the frying Salt & Pepper pan heat the oil first and cook it on a Olive oil/ Sunflower oil. medium to high heat, turning occasionally, until it’s all dark brown. In Everything Else: the oven, Cook it at 200 for about 17 4 Pita breads minutes, or until it’s sort of brown 1 cup of yogurt. but not burnt to crap. Another dozen sprigs of fresh mint 7. Take them out and let it rest while A cucumber. you make everything else to go with 1 lemon’s worth of juice. them. Some rocket, or whatever salad stuff you
Making Kofta Part 2, other stuff. 1. Clean your knife and board so everything doesn’t taste like coriander and garlic. 2. Add your yogurt and lemon together in a small bowl. 3. Chop your mint. Add that too. 4. Finely chop your cucumber, (Or you can even grate it if you want, it’s easier) and then add it to the bowl of yogurt. 5. Mix it all up. You’ve got Tzatziki now. You didn’t even know what was happening and now you have Tzatziki. Go you. 6. Heat up your pita breads, toast them, or use the oven. 7. Put some of whatever salad you want into the warm pitta. Put two pieces of kofta on top. Add a generous portion of tzatziki, and hotsauce if you want. 8. You have made a Kebab. You are no longer beholden to ‘Big Kebab’ and there tireless capitalist urgings, you’re a free elf. Tips. You can do this with quorn mince for veggies, but anything else isn’t really Kofta, Chickpeas and beans are just falafels, and if you want other veg just roast some courgette and peppers and cover it in Tzatziki. I like my stuff slightly spicy, so I usually add some Harissa (North African chilli paste) and Tabasco to my kebab. Don’t use Sriracha because it has a very different flavour palate and won’t taste as awesome as it usually does. On behalf of t he UCC Express team, I would like to t hank Xander for his work on t he publication over t he last few years. - Rob, Editor-in-Chief
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SEXPRESS
ISSUE 12 | UCC SExpress
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Going Out With a Bang A Guide to Break-ups Whilst college is a great time for new beginnings, new adventures and new people, sometimes these things have to end. Breaking up with someone can be difficult, whether you’ve been dating exclusively for years, you’re just friends with benefits or you feel like someone is a negative influence in your life. If you’re interested in letting the summer be your fresh beginning, here are three simple steps to follow: Be Honest As they say, honesty is the best policy. You’ll probably never regret anything you will say if you can say with utmost honesty. Just remember to be honest, and not brutally honest, because the latter normally involves more ‘brutal’ than ‘honest’ and there’s nothing worse than being mean. Don’t Give False Hope Did you just pull out the whole “it’s not you it’s me” spiel again? Oh no. Don’t ever mislead someone like that (take note of point one on honesty). You’d be surprised how long someone would wait for you if you tell them that you need a break, and you’ll reconsider your relationship next year, when you really won’t. And you don’t want to mess with someone like that, do you? Don’t Dwell You broke it off for a reason, don’t dwell on it. You may feel regret, sadness and all the other negative emotions, or you might feel a massive weight off of your shoulders and come to the conclusion that you did the best thing for you. Either way, you’ll have to give it time to settle. Learn from the mistakes you made and carry on. A breakup doesn’t have to be the end of the world, and you’ll have the entire summer to start again!
The end is here, my friends. This is the last Sexpress of the college year. I would like to sincerely thank everyone who has read the paper, especially this section, and for everyone who picked up a copy of the Sexpress Magazine when it was floating around campus: your readership was invaluable and I hope you all got something out of this section! If you’re interested in writing for us next year, please email Editor@ UCCExpress.ie, or apply for a staff role by emailing Apply@UCCExpress.ie. With the end of the Semester looming, it is now coming into a time for reflection, a time to study and a time to cram in all the things that you didn’t get to do this year. Lucky for you, we here at the Sexpress have put together some things to consider. Go Out With a Bang, Not a Clap Yep, you heard me: don’t leave college with the clap/gonorrhoea or any other undesirable STI. Symptoms of an STI can include: itching, burning, discharge, any weird bump that wasn’t there before and bleeding. Don’t forget that symptoms can be invisible, and if you have been partaking in any sort of sexual activity you could be at risk, so make sure you go get checked out. Lucky for you all, you’re still students and you can get checked out in the Student Health Centre, located in Ardpatrick on College Road, for €20.
Bang on Campus? I am not suggesting you do this, but we know you’ve always wanted to. We’ve heard of such suitable haunts around campus, but none so suitable as the old Windle building (RIP). Though the Windle went out with a bang (literally, they knocked it down) this doesn’t have to ruin your chances of getting frisky on campus. The rules for being salacious on campus are easy. Rule number 1: We didn’t tell you to do this. Rule number 2: Go somewhere where you can’t be seen. Rule number 3: Don’t get caught. We can’t suggest places, but we hear the quad is comfy. Enjoy! Ask Them Out That person you’ve been pining over all year, yeah them, make a move and do it snappy. Whether it’s someone on tinder or someone in your class, your time is now. You don’t have to suggest anything too serious, maybe a coffee or a casual drink? The worst they can do is say no, and if they do, then you have the entire summer to get over the minor embarrassment. Either way, you’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t ask. Do it. Try Something New College is about being adventurous,
crossing everything off the bucket list so you can enter adult life knowing you lived your college days to the full. Don’t live the life of regret knowing that you could have done that thing that you always wanted to do but didn’t, consensually of course. Enjoy your time in college, whether you’re going into your second year or living out the final few weeks. Just remember: consent is key and stay safe.
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GAEILGE
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Slán Tamailín féin, le mo phearsantacht féin, d’oirigh an slí bheatha, na daoine, an teanga agus an cultúr thall mé,ar nós Cinderella agus a bróg gloine. Nuair a tháining mé abhaile, ar ais i dteach mo thuistí, ar ais sa choláiste, ar ais go dtí mo phost páirt-aimseartha, chaill mé an spriod and an grá a raibh mé tar éis a aismiú thall. Chaill mé é go sciopaí. Bhíos líonta le brón agus uaigneas i ndiaidh an áit a ghlaos “baile” ar ar faidh an tsamhraidh. Bhíos líonta le frustrachas gur tháinig mé abhaile go dtí an craic céanna.
Aoife Nic Gearailt, Gaeilbeour Bhuel leads, tá deireadh tagtha lenár gcuid am le chéile. Táim croí bhriste i ndairire, go huile agus go hiomlán croí bhriste. Ó a ghlacas le mo phost anseo leis an Express mar Eagarthóir Gaeilge, thit mé i ngrá leis an iriseoireacht agus chuile saghas scríobhneoireachta trí mhéan na nGaeilge. N’fheadar an bhfuilim in ann a rá go bhfuil clann socar, normálta agam ach leis an Express, mothaím go bhfuil clann agam - cé nach bhfuilimid gaolta, clann is ea muid. Thit mé i ngrá leis an saol seo go léir - mar Eagarthóir, mar chuid den fhoireann Express agus nílim réidh leis an saol seo a fhágaint go fóillín (nó go deo) Nílim in ann cur síos a dhéanamh ar an mbliain seo ach mar rud amháin - rollcóistóir. N’fheadar an mbeadh a fhios ag an tromlach agaibh ach chaith mé an samhradh seo caite i mbun oibre i Madrid. Ní rabhas ró shásta i’m féin roimh dom imeacht ach nuair a d’fhill mé abhaile is ar nós go raibh athbheochan nó caochlú 180 tar éis tarlú. Bhíos sásta i mo chorp
Roimh dom bogadh go dtí an Spáinn, bhuail mé le Rob, Eagarthóir an Express. Thairscigh sé an phost seo dom agus beidh mé de shíor tuilteannach dó, go deo na ndeor. Ag an tús ní rabhas ró sceitimíneach faoi de bharr nár thug mé go huile agus go hiomlán na buntaistí a bhaineadh mé amach ó an cinéal post seo a ghlacadh. Thall sa Spáinn, bhí sé i’m aigne an t-am ar fad - an mbeadh mé in ann chuile duine a shású, an mbeadh mé in ann an oiread sin focail a thargaint chuile coicís? Thréig mé mo chuid Gaeilge agus mé sa Spáinn - níor theastaigh aon ceangal nó nasc uaim a chuireadh mo bhaile i gcoinne dom. Duine anaithnid ab ea mé - agus thaitin sé liom. Ach tá an post seo tar éis mo ghrá don teanga, agus tuigim an tabhacht a ghabhann len í a threisiú agus a chaomhnú anois. Ní teanga ar nós aon teanga eile is ea í - tá an oiread sin stair agus ársacht inti, nílimid in ann dul sa seans ar í a chailliúnt go deo, mar leaids, ní bheidh Cumann na nGael ann an am seo chun í a shábháil. Gabhann an fhreagracht le chuile glúin agus b’éigin do chuile glúin
í a threisiú, a scapadh, agus go príomhúil - a úsáid. Le linn na bliana, bhí mo bhuachphointí phearsanta agam, agus bhí mo bhunphointí comh maith. Ar nós chuile ógánaigh eile. Ach ag deireadh na seachtaine agus ag deireadh an lae, bhí mo phost mar Eagarthóir Gaeilge i gconaí anseo dom, chun faoiseamh a ghlacadh, éalú ó stros an gnáthshaol laethúil.Tuigim nach bhfuil mo Ghaeilge foirfe, ach nuair a táim i mbun m’oibre, tugaim neamhaird ar sin. Chuirim ceol ar siúl, ullmhaím cupán caifé dom féin agus tosnáim ag scríobh. B’fhearr liom píosaí ar nós é seo a scríobh, píosaí pearsanta nó píosaí nach gá an oiread sin taighde a dhéanamh. É sin ráite, is aoibheann liom píosaí nuachta, agus go háirithe píosaí nuachta as Gaeilge - nuair a nach bhfuilim in ann iad a scríobh ;) Mo bhliain Erasmus is ea é an bhliain seo chugainn agus táim ar bís. An uair seo nílim ag éalú ó faic. Tá mo chlann agam, mo chairde agus mo bhuachaill cara. Táim níos cróga, níos láidre ó thaobh mo sláinte intinne de, níos sásta i ngach gníomh de mo shaol. Táim ar bís taisteal, chun m’arasán féin a bheith agam (thar lear!!!!!!!!), chun a bheith mórthimpeall daoine nach bhfuil Béarla acu agus cultúr difriúil. Táim ag tnúth leis an athrú ach braithfidh mé uaidh Éire an uair seo. Tá sé sin in easnamh uaim - ní thuigim cé chomh luachmhar is atáim leis an saol atá my thuistí tar éis a chruthú dom agus go bhfuilim tar éis a oibrú de. Eachtra ceart atá i gceist. Ach ní bheinn an duine atáim i láthair na huaire gan an Express - agus níl ansin ach an fhírinne.
Tá an Express tar éis me a fhorbairt, a thacú, a bhrú chun mo chéad dhícheall a dhéanamh agus beidh mé ar ais. Níl an Gaeilbeour críochnaithe go fóill. Nílim réidh le slán a fhágail leis an Express, agus dá bhrí sin, nílim chun slán a fhágail, ach slán tamaillín ;) Más rud é go bhfuil suim agaibh san iriseoireacht, agus go háirithe san iriseoireacht trí mhéan na Gaelinne, tapaigí an deis agus cur d’ainm amach san domhain iriseoireachta. Mise le meas, grá agus huganna, Aoife Nic Gearailt/Gaeilbeour <3
UCC EXPRESS Nuachtán - Newspaper Alt - Article Scríbhneoir - Writer Eagathóir - Editor Sprioc - Deadline Irisleabhar - Magazine Forlíonadh - Supplement Tiomnú - Dedication Foilsigh - Publish (verb) Eagrán - Edition
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ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Photos courtesy of Emmet Curtin Photography
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Canoe Club wins big at Galway Fest Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor
of UCC grappling against the rapids to be the fastest there. Team Lulu with Kevin UCC Canoe Club enjoyed a wealth of Cahill took the win despite the start line success at the Galway fest last weekend skipping rope interference. with the college claiming multiple honDay 2 began in Tuam for the college ours at the event. where everyone competed in freestyle, The festival opened up with a 6 min- while the college was also forced to tackute sprint down a pristine section of le high volume rapids on the Corrib in a white-water which flows directly into the mass start slalom race. crystal clear Galway Bay in Gaeltacht area of Spiddal, Co. Galway which set Next up was the Boater X with Aisling a peaceful tone for the club as they em- Brennan leading the way who piloted the root well including navigating a 6 foot barked into the water. drop into the main channel. The weekend opened up with Seán and Kevin Cahill entering the men’s expert Some of UCC’s biggest victories came class wasted no time in getting a practice from James Hayes who finished in 2nd in lap of the river to familiarise themselves Men’s Sport and Ciaran finished in 3rd with the river and “dial in” their skills for with Fia Coghlan who placing 3rd in overall and Ciara McGarrigle who finishthe race run to come. ing in second place. Next came the team race, which saw some
Maguire on fire in Tallaght
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eleven goals and concede two, it was the hosts who would cause a scare for the second half. Cheap passes in midfield gifted Rovers with a succession of play, but an attacking line led by Ronan Finn and Gary Shaw, City kept their lines well defended and McNulty quite, Late on; the resilience of the Rebel Army pressed the sharpened Rovers defence and Seani Maguire charged forward to be brought down by David Webster for a penalty. Keeping his head cool, Maguire Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor stepped up; and with the same form which saw the Kilkenny native bag a hat trick last Cork City FC made it five wins from five September on the same pitch, fired well and to go two points clear in the SSE Airtric- gave City a late lead. ity League as the Rebel Army slip passed Shamrock Rovers 2-1 in Tallaght Stadium. Rovers pushed and pressed but a manned Once again it was the star man Seani Ma- defence of Conor McCormack, Alan Benguire who made it six from six to clinch nett and Ryan Delaney where step and sturanother three pints for the league leaders. dy in keeping the Hoops at bay.
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It only took seven minutes for first blood to be drawn when a mistake by goalkeeper Tomer Chencinski allowed Maguire to slip through on his line and fire into an open net, for the Kilkenny natives sixth goal of the season.
Full time score in Tallaght Stadium was 2-1 to Cork City FC who, after the editorial deadline, made it six wins in a row, beating rivals Dundalk 2-1 in a packed Turner’s Cross.
The lead however was short lived as Stephen Bradley’s men pummelled forward and truck lucky when Conor McCormack handled the ball inside the area to grant Rovers a crucial penalty. Up stepped Graham Burke who fired well passed McNulty in goal to send the sides in level at the break. Despite a dominating opening to the season which has seen Caulfield’s men score
SHAMROCK ROVERS – Chencinski, Madden, Devine, Webster, Clarke, McAllister, Meenan (O'Connor, 90), Finn, Connolly (Doona, 80), Burke, Shaw (Boyd, 73). CORK CITY – McNulty, McCormack, Dunleavy (Bennett, 70), Delaney, O'Connor, Buckley, Beattie (Sheppard, 61), Morrissey, Keohane, Dooley (Ellis, 77), Maguire Referee– Jim McKell
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There is a light that never goes out
Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor
front of an empty glass and the slivered memories. From here the dirt and sod of Sport is a simple game made compli- a December training night becomes the cated by one hundred different rules punchline. and times, forever existing in twirling infinite narrative and rivalry which we Over the last year the Irish sporting comare spellbound to until the final chapter. munity has been rocked to its core from Rivalries take over from the everyday sudden deaths. In February 2016 Dergame and we are hooked in the panto- ry City FC’s leading goal scorer Mark mime of larger than life characters, fed Farren died aged 33. In October 2016 and bled on ancient traditions and di- Munster Rugby was shocked with the death of Anthony Foaly aged 42. Last gested on today’s blessings. weekend Derry City FC faced another That is what separates sport from life. crisis with the death of their 27 year old Life is not a simple black and white captain Ryan McBride at his home in the game of winning losing. In life we do Brandywell. not always get our just rewards. Life has to end. It is here however, in the funeral The tragedies plunged two communities home and grave side where we see it for into despair. Derry City FC from sting and suffering retired the number 18 in what it is. honour of their fallen striker while the “That is what separates sport League of Ireland named the under 17 from life. Life is not a simple cup the Mark Farren Cup. Munster Rugby greeted the week with 38-17 vicblack and white game of wintory and saw Axel Foley inducted into ning losing.” the RTÉ Sports Hall of Fame. As this In death sport is humanised and bound. edition goes to print every League of The crowds and hordes on the pitched Ireland ground will have a unanimous are silenced and drowned into a horizon minute’s applause at the fifth minute for of emotions only to be plummeted in Ryan McBride.
It is not a tradition confined to Ireland. On the 15th of April 1989 96 Liverpool fans lost their lives in the tragic Hillsborough Disaster. The event; which has been plastered into footballing folklore as the darkest alleyway in the most run down street, has been kept lit with never so much as a name fading through the fans and supporters. Ignoring the annual displays at Liverpool’s spiritual home in Anfield; the club has cast the numbers on to the famous red strip while supporters have set out and campaigned for justice, clearing the bereaved names to have the words, “innocence” brandished across the city centre to the verses of, “You’ll Never Walk Alone”
to the CONMEBOL Sudamericana final.
“ In other cases death has refused to let memories die of once giants of the great game.” None of these incidents have been laid to bare. Names have been forged and cast in stone and etched into footballing folklore. Names did not die. People did not die, but instead cast in stone for generations to see and ponder of what could have been. Remembrance is one thing, but to be a constant straight of thought brought to the forefront every year and never cast aside takes a community and backing. While death can unite us, it is in the scars where we find ourselves and build. Eyes are dried and the much is swept from the soles of our shoes leaving behind footprints and memories. Children measure up and adults look back beyond and what was there and who was there. No one is forgotten. In a true prize for life and death; memory is moved onto into a monument.
In other cases death has refused to let memories die of once giants of the great game. Most notably the names and memories of the 1948 Torino team who met their end following an ill-fated plane journey, the 1957 Manchester United team affectionately dubbed the, “Busby Babes” for a similar incidence and right up to present day with Brazilian side Chapecoense who caught the world’s attention in 2016 when their A statue of life. Of the person of who was team was killed in a plane crash in route there. Something to look, and to look up to.
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ISSUE 12 | UCC Express
Shelbourne Ladies FC 1-1 Cork City WFC
Continued
from the back page... A shock semi-final exit at the hands of St. Mary’s Belfast prolonged the college’s quest for silverware while the college’s Fitzgibbon Cup campaign was abruptly stopped by IT Carlow who pipped the college 2-20 to 1-20 last month.
Joseph McSweeney- Sports Writer Cork City Women’s got their season off to a positive start with a share of the spoils in Dublin against reigning Women’s National League champions Shelbourne. City went agonisingly close to taking all three points having taken the lead in the first half through Saoirse Noonan only to be undone by a late equaliser by the hosts. Noonan opened the scoring for City when Stacey Paul picked her out and the striker beat Amanda McQuillan in the Shelbourne goal from 25 yards out to give her side a dream start inside the opening five minutes. City almost doubled their lead shortly after when goalkeeper Amanda Budden found Clare Shine who turned and shot at goal from 20 yards but couldn't keep her shot on target. Shelbourne grew into the game and forced Budden into a quick double save to deny Leanne Kiernan and Alex Kavanagh. Kiernan continued to cause City problems hitting
the post as Shelbourne pushed for an equalizer. City suffered a blow midway through the first half when they were forced into an early substitution as Clare Shine was forced off through injury and was replaced by Megan Kelleher. Shelbourne continued to pressure the City defence but they held firm and went into the break holding the single goal advantage. The second half began much as the first had ended with Shelbourne continuing to pressure the City goal as Amanda Budden was forced to make several good saves to keep Shelbourne at bay. City's best chance of the second half came after some good build up between goal scorer Saoirse Noonan and Lauren Homan who set up Evelyn Daly but she couldn't keep her effort on target. Shelbourne continued to press for the equalizer as Leanne Kiernan as she had a shot go wide and shortly after forced Budden into an excellent diving save to deny her. Shelbourne had the ball in the net with 17 minutes remaining but the offside flag was up. Maggie Duncliffe came on to replace Ciara Desmond on the 79th minute Shelbourne got their equalizing goal late
in injury time just as it seemed City had done enough to secure all three points when a Niamh Prior Corner found Jamie Finn who sent it into the back of the net to make it 1-1 which the game finished at. A disappointing blow to concede so late but the Cork City Women's FC team can take a lot of positives from this game. City's next game in the Continental Tyres Women's National League is April 15th as we host Peamount United at the Bishopstown Stadium at 5pm. Teams Shelbourne Ladies FC: Amanda McQuillan; Jamie Finn, Courtney Higgins, Seana Cooke, Lynn Craven (Fiona Donnelly 71’); Niamh Prior, Pearl Slattery, Siobhan Killeen (Kate Mooney 89’), Roma McLaughlin, Alex Kavanagh; Leanne Kiernan Subs Not Used: Chloe McNamee. Booked: None. Cork City Women's FC: Amanda Budden; Ciara Desmond (Maggie Duncliffe 79’), Katie McCarthy, Ciara McNamara, Stacey Paul: Danielle Burke, Evelyn Daly, Lauren Homan, Saoirse Noonan; Danielle Sheehy, Clare Shine (Megan Kelleher 29’) Subs Not Used: Eva Badana, Kate O’Donovan, Tara O’Gorman, Natalie O’Brien.
This semi-final exit only prolongs the famine in Cork and UCC GAA who have not tasted Fitzgibbon Cup success since 2013 and Sigerson success since 2014. Derby day losses to CIT in the Munster Junior Football final only prolonged the drought with CIT beating their Cork rivals 1-17 to 2-10 in the final. Successes where saved by the intermediate hurling side who won the Munster Intermediate Cup after a 0-15 to 1-10 victory over WIT at the Mardyke. It was double heartbreak for UCC’s lady footballers and camogie team as the sides fell short to an unprecedented O’Connor and Ashbourne Cup double. In both codes UL proved to be UCC’s nemesis as the Shannonsiders interrupted UCC’s quest for the elusive double. It was the case of second time unlucky in the Ashbourne Cup as UL pipped the Leesiders to the 2017 Ashbourne Cup by 2-08 to 1-07 in a repeat of the 2016 final. It has now been fourteen years since UCC last lifted the Ashbourne Cup. In the O’Connor Cup, UCC launched a vigorous campaign slipping passed Queen’s University Belfast and UCD to book their place against UL in the final. UL proved to be one step to many for the Leesiders; with the college running out 2-05 to 0-08 to lift the trophy.
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Renewed rivalries at the Cross
Dylan O’Connell- Sports Editor Last weekend Cork City FC welcomed reigning League of Ireland champions Dundalk to Turners Cross for a sold-out encounter at the top of the SSE Airtricity League. It is a fixture which s weighs a lot for both parties; to the Rebel Army hoping build a six point gap from the arch rivals, and a chance for Stephen Kenny and his men to make some much needed ground on the Leesiders. It is a renewed acquaintance of matured rivalries at the Cross. For the last three years both teams have been embroiled in the struggle dominance; dating back to the title decider at Oriel Park on the final day of the 2014 season. Unlike most rivalries in Irish sports, Cork City and Dundalk have maintained a professional rivalry extending from the side’s league form and into their domestic cup campaigns and European exploits. Dundalk beat Cork City in the 2015 FAI Cup final. Seani Maguire scored 121st minute to avenge the defeat in 2016. Dundalk qualified for the group stage of the UEFA Europa League. Cork City progressed through three rounds of the Europa League qualifying rounds. Dundalk became the first Irish side to win a group
game in European competition. Cork City became the first Irish side to qualify and progress in the UEFA Youth League. Still; rivalries are nothing new to the Irish game. The professional rivalry between the Rebel Army and the Lilywhites is nothing new to the domestic game, but a re-emergence of old scars lingering on from the golden eras of John Caulfield and the Lilywhites. Back in 1990/91 it was a blessed time for the fans of both clubs. Dundalk where hot on the heels of the league and cup double and retrospective second and third place finishes while the Rebel Army; had just pulled out a shock draw with Bayern Munich at Irish Independent Park. Both sides had emerging successes and long sought the league title. For Dundalk it would have been a perfect on their tenure at the top; a bookend generation of success for the club. For Noel O ‘Mahony’s side it would be a first major trophy for Cork City. Going into the final game of the season Cork City led Dundalk by two points with the two sides scheduled to meet in the penultimate game of the season at Turners Cross. A cup final style showdown beckoned for both sides with
10,000 people crammed into Turners Cross for a mass. In a physical encounter for both sides; Cork pressed with Pat Morley, John Caulfield and Dave Barry all testing Dundalk keeper Alan O’Neil early on. However, Dundalk would snatch the lead midway through the second half when Gino Lawless capitalised on a mistake by the City midfield to play Tom McNulty through on goal for the Scotsman who slip the ball passed Phil Harrington in goal. With the game dampened and the fires of defeat burning through; City fought back and almost struck lucky in the dying embers with John Caulfield finding space and heading the ball down only inches wide of the Shed End. Any grand finish was halted with the referee’s final whistle and the Lilywhites ran out victorious. The depression and cries for revenge where only drummed up once again three years later as Cork City won the League of Ireland Cup against Dundalk. While it may be the second competition to the romance of the FAI Cup or the grit and determination of the league, the cup win gave a much needed momentum to a fading Rebel Army who were in danger of extinction.
In the 2000s successes and stability never matched the long lost rivalries between the two sides. In the champagne supernova of Cork City’s 2005 League triumph and 2007 cup victory; Dundalk where languishing in the First Division. With successes dwindling; clashes became few and far between. Pat Doolin’s ill-fated tenure at a sinking Cork City was kick-started by a 2-1 win at Oriel Park in 2009, while a 3-0 home win for Cork City plunged Dundalk into the relegation/promotion play offs in 2012. Fast forward now five years later. Deep into the Kenny/ Caulfield rivalry and no clear victor to be seen. On a head to head both teams Dundalk slightly overstep City with five league wins against Cork’s two, while Cork have beaten Dundalk twice to win the President’s Cup and both sides have equal measures in cup competitions. What is becoming is a rivalry cast in constant escalation of successes for both home and abroad which has given Irish football the blood and vinegar to appeal to the masses. Whatever comes could tell the story of the season, but for now it is yet is another chapter in the long standing rivalry.
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UCCExpress.ie | Volume 20 | Issue 12 | Tuesday March 28h
Members of UCC Mens Soccer celebrate their last-minute Collingwood Win (Photo: UCC Sport)
Highs and Lows for College in 2017 Dylan O’Connell, Sports Editor
Away from the pitch; it has been an equally trialled and tested year for UCC’s other clubs. Following a mixed year for the college’s soccer and GAA clubs the baton was firmly passed to judo, surfing, squash, archery and tennis and who enjoyed a multitude of successes over the intervarsity season. UCC Judo added to their phenomenal 2016 season by winning the best male and female team at the 2017 Intervarsity competitions at DCU. Across the divisions the college took home twenty individual medals including six gold medals, two silver medals and twelve bronze medals. Momentum was carried through to the Irish Open at the Foyle Arena in Derry for the club who took home five medals including Ciara Murphy who won gold in the junior and silver in the senior category and Aobh Ní Shé who won gold in the under 57 kg event. Elsewhere; UCC Surf capped off the year
with an excellent intervarsity campaign in Lahinch, with UCC ‘A’ winning the intervarsity title while UCC’s Anthony Burke and Cian O’Donovan, first in first in the men’s open and bodyboard. UCC Squash continued the fine run of results with the club finishing in second place at the 2017 Intervarsity Championships, only losing out to rivals CIT for the top honour. UCC’s Michael Hanrahan set the standard for the college by winning the Division One plate, while beating fellow UCC counterpart Mark Dooling in the final. UCC’s Christine Fitzpatrick finished up with a silver medal in the Women’s Open. UCC Archery enjoyed a tremendous weekend at the intervarsity competitions at Nemo Rangers. Standing out Emily Phipps lead the way for UCC as she topped her division on Saturday and took the top ranking. Amy Grade also impressed for the college as she slipped through to the quarter finals of the
head to head competitions after a 5-5 draw leading to a shootout, with the UCC student slipping through by a millimetre.
Despite the wave of fortune across the college; UCC tennis endured a mix run of form at the 2017 Intervaristies. UCC entered six teams for the tournament at Trinity College and came home with the Men’s Bowl. It was a weekend which began in stuttering form with the Men’s team being knocked out early on by Queen’s University while the Women’s team succumbed to Trinity College in the first round. There was consolation with UCC men’s first team winning the consolation draw after a 5-0 victory over NUI Galway followed by the third team winning the Men’s Bowl Tournament. Overall; it was a mixed weekend for the college who escaped with one trophy out of a possible sextuple. The highlight for the year for UCC is Daniel Pender’s 94th minute winner in the Collingwood Cup last February. The former
Waterford United striker’s goal brought the Collingwood Cup back to the college for the second time in three years and UCC’s thirteenth in total. Since then the college has endured a mixed run of form which included the Freshers side missing out on the Harding Cup following a crushing 2-1 loss to UCD after extra time and slipping to a quarter final loss to Ulster University in the Crowley Cup after a 1-1 draw in normal time. Optimism shown through the winter months as UCC Ladies Hockey who won the 2016/16 Munster Senior League title following a 3-1 victory over Bandon last weekend. This result ending a twenty five year wait for the Leesiders who last lifted the trophy in 1992. Shadows of doubt left over from an uncertain winter carried into the spring for UCC GAA. Continues on page 38....