UCC Express Vol 20, Iss 7 (January 15th)

15 January, 2013. Volume 20, Issue 08.

Assistance Fund reopened as food vouchers are distributed to struggling students Stephen Barry

T

he UCC Students’ Union has had to provide food vouchers for students suffering from the continuing delay in payment from the new SUSI (Student Universal Support Ireland) system.

“In the region of 25 to 30 students weekly will be taking it up weekly and that’s only from this week” said Welfare Officer Dave Carey of the €20 supermarket vouchers after an e-mail was circulated to all students on Monday to alert them to the scheme.

In light of this nationwide crisis, Minister for Education Ruairi Quinn announced that a supplementary allocation of €3 million has been allocated to the Student Assistance Fund, bringing the national fund to €11 million. Of this extra funding, UCC students will receive almost €250,000, bringing the total allocation to UCC to just shy of €900,000.

While the USI have appealed for an extra million euro for the fund for students in hardship, the allocation had meant that the application process has reopened for UCC students who have not been previously as-

sessed.

“We’re processing weekly,” Carey explains, “and that’s done on a first come first served basis.

We would have had just shy of €650,000, now some of that was automatically allocated to the UCC Plus section and the rest

However SUSI continues to provoke criticism of the government’s attempts to reform the public sector.

The grant delays have caused a crisis nationally for affected students with the USI estimating that 5,500 students (28% of

was open to everybody. That dried up in five weeks, so we were lucky that we get to reopen it, but I wouldn’t be expecting it to last a huge amount of time.”

Ninety applications which were accepted before funding ran out will be the first to benefit from this measure.

successful applicants) are awaiting payment. However SUSI claimed that while 1,500 students were due to be paid in the past week, over 3,000 students had still not provided bank details or confirmation of college registration. A further 12,000 have not supplied all of the

necessary documentation with 10,000 more having provided no supporting material.

Such figures frustrate Carey: “It’s literally the exact same application form that it’s been every other year. The only difference is that it’s gone to the online system and that it’s gone to SUSI. It’s not like the students h a v e suddenly become stupider this year; so I mean the only t h i n g that has changed is their system.”

Plans are already emerging of the necessary changes to improve the system, which only took on first-time applications this year. Applications are likely to open earlier, sharing information with the Central Applications Office and the Revenue Commissioners will be

introduced, and it may become possible to submit scans, as opposed to the process of sending in documents which had to be scanned onto the online system anyway.

But for Carey there’s no end in sight: “I would imagine that it would be going into late March or early April and there will be people only getting their payments then.”

As for UCC students, the college have been lenient with regard to the payment of fees but there have been serious financial implications in other ways. “I know of a few people before Christmas who were on the verge of dropping out, now I haven’t heard anything from them since so I think there have been people who have left the college because of it.

“It’s far more to do with general living. People who had budgeted that their grant was paying for their accommodation and they’re now four months in the accommodation and they can’t pay the landlord, and the landlord is doing this as a business. Or paying for their food on a weekly basis.”

save up to Washington st. 021 4274555 Wilton Mccurtain st. 021 450 6666 Douglas

021 454 6666 021 489 5577

T&C: *At regular menu prices with up to 3 toppings. **Up to 3 toppings & must be same or smaller size. Available Monday to Thursday only. Please mention offer when ordering. Present voucher at time of purchase. Only available with valid student ID. Not valid with any other offer. Valid for a limited time only & at participating stores. Collection or delivery. €1 delivery charge per order. €2 delivery charge per order after 12 midnight.

02 | Editorials

January 15th, 2013

Halfway home

Kevin O’Neill Editor-in-Chief

A

nd we’re back in the room.

It seems a little odd to be welcoming everyone back after the Christmas break at this stage, though it is the first opportunity I have had to do so. Everyone at Express HQ (an office half the size of the average student house bathroom, I assure you) is back and eager to build on the foundations

we set in place in the first semester.

This is taking shape in the print format you hold in your hands, something that might act as little more than an umbrella for a sprint across campus, but it has taken considerable effort to bring to the table.

Beyond that, we have continued our expansion into the terrifying realms of the Internet. Some downtime over Christmas notwithstanding, uccexpress.net has gone from strength to strength this year. If you are interested in being involved in either of these means, we want to hear from you via the usual means: editor@uccexpress. ie or our Facebook page.

What next? This issue is littered with advice and resolutions; such is the time of year. Operation

Transformation launches on campus today and offers the chance to better yourself physically and mentally, the Leaders will be the focus of a series of articles in the Express over coming weeks and we encourage people to follow along.

We also have calls from Audrey Walsh, Annie Hoey and others to take this year by the horns and make of it what you can. This is a sentiment that I would like to echo. For many of you, the next four and a half months will be your last in UCC, the opportunity to tick those final few boxes on your student ‘to do’ list is here. For others, it’s the chance to kick on, arrest the slide or start afresh.

The next few weeks and months mark a critical period for many. While opportunities are numerous,

University College Cork Express

so too are the issues that go hand in hand with the college experience. Food stamps, resubmissions of grants and, even, donations from a nameless OAP to the Students’ Union (see College Road on Facebook) highlight the harsh climate that and difficult ordeal that much of the student body is struggling with presently.

Support services are available and I encourage you to seek these out. College can be difficult to navigate at the best of times, let alone with the weight of debt on your shoulders.

We’ve already made it through half the battle.

Now is the time to kick on, not give up.

Where Are We Now? when one reassesses their life and decided that this time next year they will :have a new job, fit into that bikini, have found love etc.

As a person who loves lists, I decided to make my own.

I’m resolving to stop resolving. I’m resolving to do.

• I will be happier.

• I will be healthier.

Audrey Ellard Walsh • I will stop freaking Deputy and News Editor out so much about everything and anything because as I keep being remindednd so it is a new life is too short. And if I year. It is once keep worrying about the again that time future I’m going to keep

A

missing out on what is important in the present.

• I will cherish those around me who mean the most. I will make more time to stay in contact with people. I will be a good listener. And I will be a bad listener when those voices tell me to go buy a Monkok 3-in-1... some of the time.

• I will go to bed at a reasonable time rather than staying up googling sleep remedies.

• I will go home more.

• I will buy that perfect red lipstick.

And here is for a truly ambitious aim. I am going to set myself a challenge.

I will run a race this year.

I haven’t quite decided which one so please get in touch if anyone has any advice. I’m a complete noob but I think this is just the thing to keep me accountable to my “do’s”.

As for the red lipstick. Well, I’m off to pick that up now.

Happy New Year, Audrey

Editor: Kevin O’Neill editor@uccexpress.ie Deputy Editor & News Editor: Audrey Ellard Walsh news@uccexpress.ie Deputy News Editor: Margaret Perry deputynews@uccexpress.ie Design Editor: Niamh Gunning layout@uccexpress.ie Photo Editor: Siobhan O’Connell photo@uccexpress.ie Features Editor: Annie Hoey features@uccexpress.ie Deputy Features Editor: Úna Farrell deputyfeatures@uccexpress.ie Irish Language Editor: Orla Hubbard irish@uccexpress.ie Entertainment Editor: Tracy Nyhan entertainment@uccexpress.ie Deputy Entertainment Editor: Jack Broughan deputyentertainment@uccexpress.ie Film & TV Editor: Kellie Morrissey screen@uccexpress.ie Music Editor: Ruth Ní Leannacháin music@uccexpress.ie Arts & Literature Editor: Julie Daunt arts@uccexpress.ie Gaming Editor: Fergal Carroll gaming@uccexpress.ie Fashion Editor: Kieran Murphy fashion@uccexpress.ie Fiction Editor: Stephen Goulding newcorker@uccexpress.ie Sports Editor: Stephen Barry sport@uccexpress.ie Contributors: Kevin Anthony, Brian Barry, David Coleman, Cathal Dennehy, Justin Fleming, Kevin Galvin, Tommie Grant, Joann Kelleher, Aaron Keohane, Bryan Lynch, Eoghan Lyng, Aishling Murphy, Rachel O’Sullivan, Susan Rea, Denid Savage, Eoghan Scott, Rob Shannon, Heather Steele, Ammar Suhail, Tommy Tobin, Dylan White, Nicole Yap

January 15th, 2013

News | 03

Operation Transformation UCC Looking to make a change in the New Year? Heather Steele examines a new healthy living initiative on campus

T

his week the UCC operation transformation programme began with eight leaders being chosen, four staff and four students. Inspired by the annual RTE programme of the same name the UCC version is being run by the UCC Health Matters programme is in partnership with the Mardyke Arena and Kylemore Services Group. KSG are providing an Operation Transformation option of healthy meals on all their menus from the middle of January for seven weeks. The leaders taking part in the programme will be given free breakfast, lunch and dinner courtesy of KSG from their new healthy eating menu. The leaders will also

Students

have their progress tracked by nutritionists with weekly weighins and a full physical at the beginning and the end of the programme.

The leaders of the UCC operation transformation programme for 2012 were announced on the UCC Health Matters Facebook page on Friday the 11th of January. The four staff leaders are David O’ Sullivan, Margaret Murphy, Aisling Doyle and Niamh McGettrick Cronin. The four student leaders are Karen Riordan, James Keane, Sorcha Nagle and Paula Bourke. The progress of the leaders will be updated on the UCC Health Matters Facebook page, so the UCC community can follow

along with the leaders.

It is hoped that this will inspire UCC students and staff to become healthier also. The UCC Operation Transformation programme is part of the indicative’s undertaken by UCC to become a health promoting university. In December of 2012, the president of UCC Dr Michael Murphy signed an agreement with the HSE committing UCC to the journey of becoming a health promoting university.

UCC Health Matters is working towards making UCC an accredited Health Promoting University by 2014. Its mission is to improve the learning and working environment for students

and staff, improving the staff and student experience in UCC and positively influencing the wider community. Each of the leaders have shared their reasons for joining the programme on the health matters Facebook page.

Niamh McGettrick Cronin, one of the staff leaders, hopes to inspire a change in the habits of her fellow UCC staff. ‘I want to be a Leader who succeeds in this programme and in turn inspire my colleagues and students showing how small changes can bring about a better quality of life.’ Karen Riordan, one of the student leaders, hopes to lose weight and become fitter over the seven weeks. ‘I really hope

that by the end of the seven weeks I will have lost weight and become fitter, but more importantly that I will have strategies in place to support my continued change in lifestyle. Any and all support will be much appreciated.’

The menu supplied by Kylemore will be available in all campus restaurants throughout the campaign, while the exercise and lifestyle advice provided by the Mardyke will also be available to students in an attempt to encourage the student body to engage in similar changes. The UCC Express will be following the participants throughout their endeavour on both uccexpress.net and the print edition of the paper.

Operation Transformation: The Leaders

Sorcha Nagle Hi, my name is Sorcha Nagle, a Cork native studying English and History in 3rd Arts. I’m so excited to have been chosen to be a leader in UCC Health Matters Operation Transformation.

I’m hoping by the end of the 7 weeks that I’ll feel better in myself and maybe have lost some weight, but mainly, I’d like to be able to run up the stairs in the Kane without getting breathless!

I can’t wait to get started and hopefully I’ll inspire others to get up off the couch!

Paula Bourke My name is Paula Bourke and I live in the village of Carraig Na Bhfear, Co. Cork. I am 45years old, have a wonderful husband Paddy and have two beautiful daughters aged 24years and 20years old. I am a third year sponsored student nurse in intellectual disability and I work for Cope Foundation in Montenotte. My hobbies and interests include sports of all kind, music, singing and socialising with friends and family. However one of my passions in life is the GAA. I am a member of Na Piarsaigh Hurling, Football and Camogie Club. Finally I hope to improve my health and change my lifestyle for the better whilst encouraging others to do the same on this very exciting journey, can’t wait to begin.

Karen Riordan My name is Karen Riordan and I am 39, soon to be 40. I left school in 1990 and studied Marine Electronics and Radio Communications for two years at CIT (Cork RTC as it was then). I subsequently trained at Shannon Aerospace and worked for them as an aircraft maintenance technician. Wanting a challenge I went to university in Aberdeen and studied for a degree in tropical environmental science. I subsequently taught geography for seven years in London. I returned to Ireland in 2008 and worked as an administrator. On being made redundant I embraced the opportunity to engage in personal development and finally admitted that I wasn’t happy and faced up to my weight issues. I love being here at UCC, chasing my passion and becoming me.

Staff Aisling Doyle My name is Aisling Doyle. I’m 34 years old. I am originally from Dublin but moved to Cork in 2003 and have called it my home ever since. I am a busy mom to William who is 8 years old. I did my PhD in the Biochemistry Department and am a researcher in Prof. Louise Kenny’s group in the Obs & Gyn Department in CUMH and I work with the UCC Biosafety Committee one day a week. Thanks for your support and for following me on my journey to be a healthier, fitter person and to strive to strike a balance between being a busy working mom and implementing my new lifestyle changes for 7 weeks and beyond. I am delighted at this wonderful opportunity to be a staff leader in UCC Health Matters Operation Transformation. Best of luck to all the leaders and followers!

Margaret Murphy Hello UCC! I am somewhat shocked but truly delighted at being selected to be one of your staff leaders in UCC Health Matters Operation Transformation.

For those of you who don’t know me - I am originally from Wexford but living in Cork for a number of years now and slowly coming round to being a ‘Rebel’. I have been working in UCC now for 12 years, starting out in Applied Psychology and now working in College of Medicine & Health - half time in School of Clinical Therapies and half time for the College Office. I am quite nervous at the daunting task of being a Leader and would welcome all support and advice any of you can offer me. I really appreciate this amazing opportunity to working on New Year’s resolution of becoming a fitter, healthier, slimmer and above all happier person in 2013 and I am sure this 7 week journey will be just the kickstart I need.

Niamh McGettrick-Cronin Niamh McGettrick-Cronin has worked in the University since 1999 and also studied in UCC by night for a BA (Hons) from 2004 to 2008. Niamh is married to Donal and they have three children, two girls and one boy ranging in age from 13 years to 5 years old (Katie, Keelan and Kayla). Originally from Ballymote in Co. Sligo Niamh lived in Paris and London over a period of ten years before returning to Donal’s native Cork. Niamh is hoping that the opportunity of becoming a leader for the University Operation Transformation will bring lifestyle changes not only to herself but in to her home.

Also she hopes that the new choices she makes will inspire friends, colleagues and students to make some simple changes in their everyday habits leading to a better quality of life. Niamh’s goals for the journey on OT are to stop smoking and loose approx. a stone and a half in weight. The longer term goal is to continue the new lifestyle habits when the programme ends!!

Please note that two of the eight leaders were unavailable for comment at this time. Look out for their bios in future issues.

04 | News

January 15th, 2013

Sinn Féin commemorate their past and discuss future Audrey Ellard Walsh

T

hursday the 10th of January saw UCC’s Sinn Féin/ Martin Hurson Cumman host party members from Cork and further afield at their annual commemoration. The procession, which marched from the Student Centre to Gaol Cross, was led by a colour party, the MacCurtain/MacSwiney republican flute band, and followed by torch bearers and members of the public.

Approximately 50 people marched from the Student Centre to Gaol Cross and the Republican memorial near the Kane building to the thirteen volunteers who were executed in 1921 when that area belonged to the Cork Gaol. Also remembered was John Joe Kavanagh who was killed by the Free State Special Branch in 1940 whilst trying to tunnel into the gaol to free prisoners and for whom a plaque is erected at Gaol Cross.

The group then moved to the on campus Republican plot where Stephen Cunningham, the society’s Auditor welcomed the group gathered. Following this the names of the thirteen deceased were read aloud by Tadhg O’Laoighre, and a moment’s silence was again observed, whilst the colour party again lowered their flags. Odran O’Crocrain, UCC SF PRO, recited the proclamation of the Irish Republic, and Gavin Lynch-Frahill, UCC SF Education Officer, laid a wreath at the monument. Following this, Alan Conway, UCC SF Ex-Officio, gave a speech which dealt with his time in the College Cumann and what it means to continue the tradition of republicanism today.

The main oration of the night was given by Martin Ferris TD, who’s speech focused primarily upon the importance of continuing to pay tribute to the sacrifices made by members in the past for the Republican cause “Our past is what we are”, he declared as he accused other political parties of paying lip service to the Proclamation and betraying the public by “pauperis[ing] this country for the next twenty years” He focused specifically on the importance of education and the need for equality of opportunity regardless of economic status and affirmed this as a key priority for the party.

He placed an onus upon those present to educate, organise and agitate “no matter what it takes” at the ballot box, on the streets and in communities and to fight the current government and hold them accountable for their shortcomings.

“I look out here tonight so proud and so honoured to be in your presence. Young people with a vision, young people with ideals, young people that will lead us out of this mess that these corrupt so-called politicians have left to us. You are the future and you will make it happen.”

Interview

Prior to the commemoration, I had the opportunity to speak with Martin Ferris about Sinn Féin’s priorities and the prospect of coalition in the future. With the party having undergone a serious facelift in recent times, and public opinion responding positively, I was curious to meet a man whose own personal past mirrors this turnaround, including hunger strike and periods of imprisonment IRA activity. He has since then served as an MEP and has been involved in national politics since his election to Dáil Eire-

ann in 2002.

Instructed by a close friend of his to avoid the topic of his time in prison, Ferris appears amiable and friendly. I explain that I am interested in his opinions on current affairs and he seems perfectly happy to answer anything.

I begin by asking firstly why that night’s commemoration is important and whether nationalism is really a top priority in these economic times. “No, it’s not a top priority, it is one of our obligations as Irish Republicans. Our priorities will always be trying to ensure by our policies that they will be to the benefit of most people, they will be there for the common good as distinct from the individual, from a select elitist group. We believe in the common good, we believe in the rights and entitlements for all people.”

He is keen to speak about education as mentioned in his public address, and states that “We believe that education is a right and not a privilege for a start and that education should be there right across the board, free at source for everybody to access it” Sinn Féin have been consistently vocal on the topic of the grant system, with Ferris stating in the past that he believes the SUSI system has failed. I was curious to

know what they plan on concretely doing to change things, and if these plans are indeed realistic. “...a proper taxation system here where working adults would pay proportionate to their income so we could have an education system right across the board that was free, so that we would have a health system right across the board that would be free- that is what we are striving to bring about. Take for instance in the Nordic countries where you have in some instances in excess of 60% taxation but everything else is free.

I think that’s what we have to strive for, that’s when you move towards equality of opportunity.”

Sinn Féin have seen a consistent increase in popularity since 2011.

The 10th of January saw the release of the most recent RedC poll, placing Sinn Féin at 16% - 3 points above Labour but still trailing behind Fine Gael (29%) and Fianna Fáil. I asked the Deputy about the reasons for his party’s increase in popularity and the possibility of entering into coalition come the next General Election.

“I think more and more people are coming to realise that there is only one alternative and that is Sinn Féin. I have no doubt that Sinn Féin will be in government in the South but in order for us to be in government in a coalition it will be determined by how our policies will be implemented. We will not go into

make up their mind on that.”

I finally asked about his opinion on the current debate surrounding legislating for the X case, specifically if he believed another referendum is necessary and whether or not TDs should have a free vote on the matter.

“I don’t think the argument for referendum has any substance in so far as we had a referendum in relation to this where the people did vote for the limited abortion around the X case. I think what is happening here is you have a situation where some people have consistently demonised young women, many whom through no fault of their own, without any real choice really had to go out of the country and have terminations. There is definitely an obligation on us as legislators to do the right thing, again for the greater good. We are legislators, we were elected to legislate and when you’re elected to legislate and there is a determination there by the Supreme Court of this land and the European Court of Justice to do that and to advocate our responsibilities respective of our own personal position is a copout and that is why I don’t believe there should be a free vote.”

Martin Ferris leaves the impression of a reasoned and reasonable man, keen to make a difference.

Whether or not his intentions are genuine or simply political candour

government for the sake of going into government. We will go into government only when we believe we can make that change, when our policies can be implemented for the common good.” Are other parties prepared to go into government with us, he asks “are they prepared to change? “Well they’ll have to

is unclear, unlike the rapid progression of Sinn Fein in the polls. They are presenting an alternative way of politics that evidently continues to capture imaginations. The question remains though, will they make it into power without compromising their policies and if so will it be anytime soon?

January 15th, 2013

News | 05

UCC still a top destination for international students With a new semester comes a new intake of international students. Deputy News Editor Margaret Perry looks at what makes UCC an attractive destination.

U

CC hosts over 2400 international students in a typical academic year and continues to attract students from all over the world. In a survey of 209,000 international students from 238 universities in 16 countries, UCC’s International Office was ranked first in Ireland and third in the world and achieved a 94% satisfaction rating from UCC’s international students.

This study, called the International Student Barometer, was conducted by the International Graduate Insight Group (I- Graduate), an American organisation that, according to their website, specialises in “customer insight for the education sector” and works with universities around the world to “enhance competitive ad-

vantage and quality” for their students.

Gabriella Steinberg is an international student spending this academic year at UCC. Originally from Santa Barbara, California, Gabriella studies at Sarah Lawrence College, a small liberal arts college in upstate New York. A theatre student, she explained, “I’d heard about Cork through current Irish theatre.” Cork’s size was a factor, too – she liked the idea of living in a small city after the engulfing metropolis that is New York. “Cork sounded like a town I needed to be a part of,” she said.

Settling in to a new country and way of life can be daunting, but Gabriella explained that her interest in theatre has helped her enormously to settle into campus life. She had

one main piece of advice to offer to international students who have just arrived for this semester. “If you play a sport, go join a club, if you have a certain hobby… just find those people!” she said. “As soon as you find your hobby that you’ve done at home, it’s like finding a family. Having something in common with someone else is a the best way to make friends. I sound like a college brochure!” she said.

Gabriella is very enthusiastic about her study abroad experience at UCC so far. “I sound like such a cheerleader for this college,” she said jokingly. I asked her if there were any major differences that had struck her when she first arrived. “People here are a lot quieter than Americans… there’s a noticeable volume difference!” she said.

In adapting to her new way of life here, the staff at UCC International Office were very useful, Gabriella explained.

“They definitely helped with academically settling us in…. they were very patient, as I had a lot of questions,” she said. “Those in the office and others had to prepare us for Irish student life, because it’s very different from back home.”

Gabriella’s classes at Sarah Lawrence were much smaller than at UCC, with most classes taught in seminar form. Students are often on first-name terms with their lecturers. “They expect you to be ready to talk about the material,” she said. Another difference Gabriella found was that while US students tend to study during the week and go out at the weekends,

in Ireland it’s the opposite.

As many students go home at the weekends here, students usually go out on weeknights instead. Since arriving in August, Gabriella balances her time between getting involved in UCC campus life and travelling, walking the line between native and tourist that is part of the study abroad experience. “If you choose to travel around Europe, you might not be really engaged in college activities, but you can very well choose to do both,” she said.

“You just need to find your balance!” Some good advice for the international students who have just arrived on our campus for the new term.

UCC Students getting to the heart of it Tommie Grant

O

ver 100 of University College Cork’s top athletes will be undergoing potentially lifesaving cardiac screening on Dec 6th & 12th. The University’s Clubs Executive – the joint student and staff body – have provided funds for cardiac screening for all students on a sports scholarship. While there is a great awareness of SADS itself there is no current campaign which highlights how to prevent or diagnose the problem before it is too late. It is hoped that by carrying out these screenings it may encourage other students to do likewise and seek

to have a cardiac screening on their own initiative.

Proof that these programs have been effective may be drawn from overseas. For example in Italy, where anyone who plays organised sport has to get cardiac screening done, SADS deaths have reduced by 89% over the last 25 years. These figures conclusively show that this screening program is a worthwhile initiative, which may save the life of a fellow student.

The scheme was brought in last year following a study conducted by UCC’s Department of Rheumatology, Sports and Exercise Medicine which highlighted the role cardiac screening can play in reducing rates of sud-

den cardiac death among athletes. Brian Phelan, the Clubs Executive President, explained how important it was to continue this project.

He noted that the long list of seemingly-healthy, young athletes who have suffered heart attacks in recent years, serves as a reminder that anyone may be affected by heart problems.

Footballer Fabrice Muamba’s story is a recent highprofile example. The Bolton Wanderers midfielder suffered a near-fatal heart attack during the first half of an FA cup tie in early 2012. While his subsequent recovery transformed the 24 year old into a public symbol of hope, his case is a chilling reminder

that heart defects may go unnoticed, even in professional footballers without regular health checks.

The screening will be carried out by the UCC Student Health centre, which has recently acquired the equipment to carry out the testing.

Dr Michael Byrne explains that each participant is required to fill out a personal and family history questionnaire, to undergo a physical examination and an electrocardiogram. The participant’s medical data and ECG will be reviewed and reported by a consultant cardiologist. The test is painless and only takes about twenty minutes.

Here in UCC, we have over 20,000 students, at least

5,500 of these engage in sport & physical activity within the university on a weekly basis, while many more partake in sport with their own local sports clubs. Considering these vast numbers participating in sporting activity, it seems that some service is required to ensure the health of students. This programme is currently running exclusively for scholarship athletes. The long term plan however, is to open out the service to the whole student population. A series of talks are planned for the coming days and weeks with serious sporting and health related issues set to be covered including a focus on cardiac deaths.

06 | News

News in brief Undergraduate experience survey

Launched as part of the initiative to ensure that undergraduates get the best possible student experience out of their time in UCC, the Undergraduate Experience Survey is available now. The survey offers the opportunity to comment on a number of aspects of the student experience, involving academic, social and financial perspectives.

A confidential survey, students who complete it are entered into a draw to win a number of prizes including a travel voucher worth €500, a Kindle, tickets and hotel accommodation for the Clubs & Societies Ball, tickets to the afters of the Clubs & Societies Ball, a Sony XPeria or one of 3 vouchers from John Smith’s Bookshop, worth €50 each.

Professor Paul Giller, Registrar said “The student survey provides a real opportunity for students to have their say and to give us their feedback on all aspects of your experience at UCC. This feedback does make a difference and does have an impact on the Universities plans and specifically on implementing changes that will improve further the Student Experience at UCC.”

Journosoc to host Conference

UCC Journalism Society has announced that it is very proud to present the 2013 Journalism Conference in association with the Irish Examiner. The conference will take place on Saturday February 9th in the Aula Maxima.

Speakers will include Joe Duffy, broadcaster; Charlie Bird, journalist; Denis Staunton, Deputy Editor of the Irish Times; Mary Fitzgerald, Foreign Correspondent for the Irish Times; Brendan O’Neill, journalist.

The event will feature brief individual speeches as well as two panel discussions: “Journalism as activism: trying to bring change at the expense of objective reporting” and “Investigative journalism: is it lacking?”

Tickets are €10 on sale both online (with booking charge) and in UCC. Tickets can be purchased here: http:// tinyurl.com/aj9uvfy. For more information, contact journalism@uccsocieties.ie.

January 15th, 2013

Weird Wide World Police find 5ft alligator named Mr Teeth guarding 34lb stash of marijuana

An alligator named Mr Teeth was apparently guarding a marijuana stash,California officials said Thursday after coming across the 5ft reptile during a routine probation check. Deputies entering Assif Mayar’s home on Wednesday also found 34lb of marijuana valued at an estimated $100,000. Mr Teeth was in a Plexiglass tank nearby.

“We get guard dogs all of the time when we search for grow houses and people stashing away all types of dope. But alligators? You just don’t see that every day,” said Alameda County sergeant JD Nelson.

Mayar, 32, told deputies he got the alligator to commemorate rapper Tupac Shakur’s 1996 death.

“We have come across alligators before, but nobody can remember one this big and situated in such close proximity to act sort of as a sentry to the marijuana,” Nelson said.

Mayar, who is on probation after pleading guilty last year to disturbing the peace, was arrested on suspicion of possessing marijuana for sale. He could also face citations from the California Fish and Game Commission, including possession of an exotic animal without a permit.

Alameda County animal control officers eventually took the alligator to the Oakland Zoo. Officials there said Mr Teeth was very sick and was being treated at the zoo’s veterinary hospital. Source: guardian.co.uk

Dumbest Facebook Post Ever?

An Oregon teenager has landed himself in the county jail for what must be one of the dumbest Facebook gaffes ever: posting about his drunk-driving hit-and-run escapade.

“Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever’s vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P” was the early-morning post that quickly led to the at-home arrest of Jacob Cox-Brown in the Oregon-coast city of Astoria, reports the Daily Astorian.

Upon reading Cox-Brown’s post, two of the 18-year-old’s Facebook friends contacted the Astoria Police Department to report it; it became vital information after two officers responded to a 1am report of a hit-and-run, which left a white Scion plus an adjacent vehicle damaged in their parking spots.

“Astoria Police have an active social media presence,” Astoria Police said in a press release. “It was a private Facebook message to one of our officers that got this case moving, though. When you post ... on Facebook, you have to figure that it is not going to stay private long.” Also, Johnston told Yahoo! Shine, “We actually use Facebook to find things not unlike this.”

Cox-Brown’s Facebook page is filled with telling clues about the young man’s penchant for both altered states and vehicles: His “favorites” include Mommy Needs a Beer and Lifted Trucks USA, while “smoking blunts” and “rolling Ford Rangers” are listed among his “activities.” Source: yahoo. com

LGBT Soc attempt World Record

Want to be part of something special? This Rainbow Week (21st to 24th January) among an array of amazing events including a Queer Take Me Out on Monday and a UV party in Freakscene on Wednesday the UCC LGBT society is hosting a Guinness World Record Attempt. Taking place from midday on Thursday upstairs in the Common Room behind the ORB, the record is for the most people writing a single story and currently stands at 953 people in a 24 hour period. Can UCC do better?

Participants can turn up any time between Thursday midday and Friday midday to take part. All that the record will entail is that participants show some kind of ID upon entering the Common Room to ensure nobody is trying to take part twice and then going upstairs to write one line of a story. The theme of the story is equality and if you’d like to we’ll be taking donations of behalf of Marriage Equality for the duration of the event.

Obama: Sorry, no Death Star for you

While conceding its potential contributions to job creation and defence against intergalactic threats, the Obama administration officially announced this week that a U.S. Death Star “is not on the horizon.”

Paul Shawcross, chief of the science branch of the White House Office of Management and Budget, broke the bad news late Friday in the administration’s response to an online petition that garnered over 34,000 petitions when it was posted on the White House’s “We the People” website. Administration officials have pledged to provide an official response to any petition that attracts at least 25,000 e-signatures.

Mr. Shawcross cited several reasons for the administration’s decision to reject the Death Star proposal, including the administration’s longstanding policy that it “does not support blowing up planets.” He also cited the daunting $850 quadrillion price tag, as estimated by business students at Lehigh University. “We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it,” he noted.

And Mr. Shawcross said that research conducted in Hollywood revealed unexpected defensive vulnerabilities with Death Star technology, which might not make its construction cost-effective.

“Why should we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” he asked. Source: washingtonpost.com

January 15th, 2013

Features | 07

Sincerity & the art of faking it…

Annie Hoey

Features Editor

B

lah blah blah, welcome back to UCC 2013. Happy Christmas, best of luck in the New Year, Happy Easter, Happy birthday, Happy Mother’s Day, Happy Father’s Day, have mad craic on Patrick’s Day, good luck in your exams, Happy Halloween, welcome back to UCC, etc., etc.

I think that is every greeting done for the year? Great. No need to worry about it until 2014 so.

Ah no, I am not that horrid/bitter/cynical. Not really anyway. I am just a bit tired of all the ‘happy this’ and ‘merry that’. It is all a bit excessive really. On Christmas Day, I got messages and texts from people that I genuinely did not know. It is probably my own fault for being friends on Facebook with them but really? I mean who in their right mind sends merry this, that and the other messages to someone they don’t even know? Assuming they also sent messages to people they do know, that is an awful lot of time spent sending pointless messages.

I find myself questioning what they want from me (for I am far too sceptical to simply assume that they are actually being genuinely nice). They must want something. Are they running in the next local election? None this year so that can’t be it.

Are they opening a new shop and are gagging for my cus-

tom? Doubt it. Babysitting duties? I don’t associate with people who have children as they make me nervous (the children not the parents) so that can’t be it. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??

I will probably never know.

Perhaps they really were just being friendly so…

All my crazy over-analysing aside, it still brings me back to the question of the sincerity of well wishes. I got lots of messages from people who I do indeed consider friends (I may have even sent one or two myself) and I have no problem with that. In fact, it is rather nice when someone takes the time to wish me well. But what I most like about someone taking the time to wish me well is when I know they are being genuine about it. I simply cannot abide insincerity. Just don’t bother!! I would rather a person said nothing than gave me a half-assed ‘good luck’ followed by a simpering

simmer of a smile. Go away.

Shoo. I don’t need your well wishes thank you very much.

I am perfectly happy with my genuine sincere few.

Be sure to note at this point that I am not referring to the more traditional Irish greetings. You know the ones where you pass a person on the street and you say “hi howareya, notabother greatseeya” as you move pass them with a jovial wave. I don’t mind those because both party actually knows that it is merely an Irish way of saying hello and how are you without actually ever having to stop and listen to the answer. No no, those greeting are fine. It is the other bizarre social media messages wishing me (and undoubtedly all eight hundred of their other friends) happy this that and the other, that is have an issue with.

Perhaps I really am just turning into a bitter old hag.

Maybe I ought to be pleased

that people are taking the time out of their day to wish me well. But they are not really. They are sending a mass message of good will to either a) fan their own ego for doing ‘a nice deed for the day’ or b) are some crazy cook who has no actual friends and decided to bombard us all with messages on the off-chance that one of us cares enough to respond. Either one of the two I am not mad about.

Perhaps this year I will work on being less cynical and a little bit more welcoming and nice to people.

Perhaps I will look at these messages as a genuine offering of friendship and I might reply in kind. Perhaps I will not squint my eyes and look at someone sceptically when they wish me well and wonder what it is that they want form me. Maybe I will just accept people’s niceness without second-guessing them.

Then again, hell may freeze over.

Not my New Year’s resolution

Úna Farrell

Deputy Features Editor

H

appy New Year UCC. Can I firstly congratulate all of you for surviving the apocalypse that never was. It was a close call there rolling up to the 21st but alas no deadly plagues, no alien invasion, the sun didn’t burn up and there

was no zombie attack. I had my plan ready for the zombie apocalypse too. I watched almost every episode of The Walking Dead. I’m sure it’ll come in handy in the future some time, I’ll be ready.

I’m not going to bore you with talk of New Year’s resolutions. I’m not going to lie to you all and tell you that I’m going to be a brand new and improved person this year.

I’m not going to suddenly become this perfect human being simply because the world has successfully orbited the sun for another 365 ¼ days.

If I wanted to change something about myself I would do it when I wanted not just at the start of the year. So to hell with New Year’s resolutions.

There are plenty of things I

could probably change about myself to improve, but nobody’s perfect so why try.

I’d rather be imperfect and happy than perfect and tired from trying to be so.

So with the New Year ringing in my ears still I have come to the realisation that this is probably my final term in UCC. With no set plans for next year I don’t see myself returning to UCC anytime soon. *insert sad music here* Yes I have had so many good times here and made so many memories but come May I will just be another past student of University College Cork. Come September who knows where I will be. Instead of feeling nostalgic and worry myself trying to think of what I’m going to do once

I’m finished my undergrad I’m going to focus on this term. This final term of mine in UCC. In my four years of studying here there are still things I’m only first doing this year.

I only went to the Glucksman Gallery this year and even then it was because I had to for a class. I have never taken a class in the Mardyke gym.

I have not done the Barrack Street Challenge. I have never eaten in either of the bars on campus. I could go on whining about the things I haven’t done but my time isn’t up yet.

Taking into account assignments I’m not free until February.

Then we must take into account exams, final year exams at that, which means I

must take out April and May. So that gives me two whole months of freedom. Besides going to lectures I’m pretty much free. So what am I going to do? Whatever I damn well want. February and March are my last two months of carefree undergraduate bliss before I (hopefully) graduate and go on to do some sort of postgrad at some stage. We as students complain an awful lot, be it about finance, study, hangovers etc. But think about it once we leave here what awaits us? Adulthood, maturity, responsibilities, real life. No thank you life, I’m going to enjoy my student experience as much as I possibly can. Meet you in the New Bar?

08 | Features

January 15th, 2013

Single Girl Rants I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock…not tonight.

Anon.

Y

ou’ve all seen Bridget Jones, the story of a thirty something desperado of a girl trying to find Mr. Right. Well this is nothing like that. This is about a twenty-something student trying to figure out if there are any decent guys in UCC or the surrounding area. This has come about simply because this girl has encountered one too many Daniel Cleavers and no Mark Darcy’s. I do not want a husband, I don’t even know if I want a boyfriend. What I do know is what I don’t want. I don’t want a guy who is really only after me to get me into bed. I don’t want a guy who only contacts me when he is drunk. I don’t want a dickhead. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a prude, there’s many a

Mr.Cleaver who could vouch for that. I’ve just kissed too many frogs now.

So this is me: • Blonde • 63 kg (for now) • 5”3 (-ish) • Final of 4 years in college (hopefully) • And most importantly – Single.

My friends describe me as “small and blonde with big boobs”. I’m never sure whether to take this as an insult or a compliment. I’d like to think there’s more to me than a hair colour and the size bra I wear.

Yes I may have made the decision to dye my hair blonde and yes I choose what I wear to suit or highlight my figure. Does this make me vain? I don’t think so. I didn’t aspire to be called “small, blonde with big boobs”. No guy

wants the fat, shy, greasy haired girl in the corner wearing something hideous and unflattering.

That’s life. Even animals in the wild use various forms of physical attraction to attract a mate.

Take the most obvious example, a peacock. We all “peacock” when we go out. I put on makeup. I use fake tan. I wear clothes one might describe as short and tight. I don’t wear any less or more than every other girl in the club. I’m not going to go out if I don’t believe that I look good.

I try and draw attention to myself. I want to set myself apart from every other girl in the club.

To put it simply, I’m hoping to get the shift. Isn’t everyone?

We don’t go to all this trouble if we are not trying to impress someone. My problem? I only impress all the wrong guys. I don’t dress like or act like a slut

so why treat me like one? Why does every night of mine end with some guy trying desperately to convince me into returning to his humble abode? I decline and it turns to “Oh, I can come to yours if that’s easier?” No, just no. It’s not going to happen. I’m not in the habit of bringing guys home after just meeting them.

Growing up aren’t we always taught that we should withhold our lady charms in order to nab ourselves a man? It doesn’t seem to work that way, in college anyway. Guys don’t seem to want to work for anything when they can simply go out another night and get it from some other girl.

Seems to me that for every girl saying no and going home alone in a taxi there are four other girls who will happily take the same guy home to satisfy his needs. Don’t get me wrong here.

Girls have needs too and why shouldn’t we do what the guys do to satisfy these needs. But still I just can’t bring myself to “slut” it up. I won’t do one night stands, it’s just not in my nature.

I try not to judge girls who partake in this one night stand adventure but I slightly do. I just think it’s about self-respect and gaining the respect of guys. I want a guy to like me for more than sex. Call me old fashioned or a prude but I can’t see myself changing. Just because I peacock it up a little doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into bed with you.

So next time you text me asking if we are having sex tonight, if I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve met you, don’t expect a reply.

Head space Aaron Keohane discusses the benefits of a year out

W

hen I was in my final year back in 2008 I became decidedly less interesting. I was feeling the strain of my 20 credit final year project (FYP) for Applied Psychology, and the scope of my world had narrowed considerably until it consisted of the topic of the next essay that was due next, my FYP, Subway, Lennoxes, the shenanigans at Freakscene that week, and one other issue that loomed large – the question of what the hell I was going to do next year.

I’m one of those ‘save the world types’ so I had had it in my head for a good while to graduate and then work for some non-profit in India, but now I wasn’t so sure. When I mentioned this plan to people the usual response was ‘really?’ followed by tonnes of questions, but the matter was far from settled in my mind. I veered from Masters, to relevant work expe-

rience, to India and then one day a wise friend of mine gave me a wonderful piece of advice. She said ‘stop asking yourself ‘what should I do?’ and ask yourself ‘what would I like to do?’

And after taking an evening to stop and really think about that question, and be truly honest with myself, the answer became obvious. It turned out that what I really like to do was to take a year out to ‘just live’. To not leave all my friends behind on a trip to India, to not have academic anxiety hanging over me for another year while studying for a Masters or to not feel under pressure to make sure I get everything I could out of relevant work experience. As hippie-ish as it sounded, simply being for a while, taking a year out from the career ladder seemed like the most blissful idea ever. And the more I thought about it the surer I became that this was the right decision for me.

But now we come to the real subject of this article. I noticed that when I mentioned my new found revelation to people I tended to get a less than enthusiastic reaction. So being the social scientist that I am, I conducted a little experiment. To some people I said I was doing a Masters, to others I told I was taking the year off and to others I said that I had some relevant work experience lined up. Then I monitored people’s reaction to each. To the Masters option, the typical response was ‘oh that’s interesting, where are you going to do that? What will you be studying? How will you afford it? etc. etc.’ The relevant work experience received a similarly animated reaction.

However, when I mentioned the year off option, people’s reaction could not have been more different. On one or two occasions all I got was a solitary ‘oh’ spoken in a way that I

imagine would resemble their reaction to the information that someone dear to them had just passed away. This I could only surmise was due to the fact that qualifications and ones career path take on a particular importance in the academic bubble and career rat race that is UCC. I can very easily imagine that a lot of students find themselves swimming with the current of popular opinion and simply doing Masters for the sake of progressing their career and not because they are particularly sure of their choice.

Half way through my wonderful year off I couldn’t believe that I had even considered any other option. The decision to take a year out turned out to be without doubt the best decision I have ever made. Outside the academic sphere, I had what I term the ‘head space’ to think, to really think. After a few months occupying this new head space,

the answers to a lot of my questions came to me rather than the other way round. These answers arrived in the form of topics which I found myself genuinely interested in and reading about despite the fact that they were not the subject of an essay due at the end of the week. What these interests were is not of any import but what is significant is the fact that I would never have found out what I was genuinely interested in unless I had taken a year to just be. I am now studying a subject that I love and working at a career I am passionate about. All of which have were only made possible due to the insights I gained into myself which I discovered during my year off. In a nutshell dear reader, I would strongly suggest that every student considers a year out as a viable option in their career ladder.

January 15th, 2013

Features | 09

The alternative to resolutions Features Editor Annie Hoey provides another option to the traditional New Year adjustments.

I

have a confession. I don’t do affection terribly well. It makes me rather nervous. It is something I am going to try and work on for the year. Try to be a little more affectionate and stop snarling my lip every time I witness affection or human contact is mentioned (it really does make me shudder). Interestingly enough when I have a few drinks on me I can be the most affectionate person alive (a little too affectionate some might say but sure they don’t know a good thing when they see it!). I am sure some psychology student out there could offer all sorts of psychoanalytical reasons for that- I had a bad relationship with my first childhood pet and I never felt accepted for who I was at school because I wore a yellow dress one day (all of which are a lie- I wouldn’t be caught dead in yellow, it washes out my complexion). But we are not here to discuss the whys or hows of my love/hate (read: drunk/ sober) relationship with showing human affection or being less sarky when I witness it. Instead I am going to talk about my own personal version of New Years Resolutions.

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions per se - why set yourself up for the inevitable failure? Which is then followed by the guilt (oh the Catholic bred Irish guilt!!) as you resume smoking 60 cigarettes a day/eating two dozen custard creams in one session/

fling your gym clothes to the back of the closet where the nasty buggers belong.

Nah, been there done that.

What I prefer to do is to try and set myself little goals for the year as opposed to full blown life-altering resolutions (those flippin’ dumbbells are still in the wrapping).

Simple things like trying to remember to take a multi-vitamin everyday, take my make up off after a night out, dye my hair a different colour before the year is out, and other such ridiculously easy things. I write them all down and then tick them off as I go along. And I can add to the list as the year goes on.

Last year I decided around Easter that by summer I would have gotten over my fear of the dentist. And I did. In fact I went a bit far and went off to Turkey and spent half my holiday getting my whole set of gnashers done. Let it not be said that I do things by half!

Midway through the year I also decided I would get over my fear of deep water.

So I flung myself off a yacht into the Aegean Sea and swam for dear life. And I didn’t drown. So goals and ideas can be added as the year goes on. And there is something mightily satisfying about ticking things off. There is always an unwritten goal to actually complete the goal list!

I have been doing this goal list for about 8 years now.

I usually don’t tell people what is on the list unless it comes up in conversation.

I really enjoy looking back over my lists from years ago and cringing/blanching at some of the things I put on it. Such things like get my nose pierced (disaster! I got it done in a really dodgy place in Dublin.

They pierced it with a gun and subsequently broke my nose), try absinthe (drank too much, fell over and hit my head, resulting in massive bleed to the brain, near death and emergency surgery), get a tattoo (it is misspelled- it says “absotutely” instead of “absolutely”), kiss more people (caught glandular fever), learn to walk in heels (I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my foot) and so on so forth in terms of rather unfortunate goals.

On the other hand I had some great ones: move away from home (and here I am still in Cork 8 years later), graduate (not going to lie- this has a been on the list a few times), live abroad for a while (admittedly it was in a tent for 5 months in Amsterdam but it was fantastic nonetheless), meet my favourite author (I cried. Like a baby.

It was marvellous), go to a TEDX Talk (where I consequently met my favourite author), get more involved in the social side of college life and societies (need I say more??), and lots and lots of other things which have really helped shape the person I am today.

I also like looking at the list and reflecting on the person I was at the time of initially writing the list,

and the person I ended up being at the end of each year. The sort of goals I put down for the year really gave an indication of the place I was at with my life at the time. One year, after a particularly difficult time for both me and my family, the list had a lot of things like going out and making new friends, learn to open up to people more, start taking care of myself and not always putting others first, and other such things that were really important in getting me out of that rut in my life and helping me move forward as a person.

My list this year is very different- there are a lot sillier things on it (paintballing anyone?) and goals that are not as ‘serious’ as previous years. And I am happy with that. My lists over the years show how I have grown and changed as a person - I have moved on from a priority on my list being trying a new type of alcohol to things like getting over my adverse reaction to people showing me affection!

So I am not suggesting that you abandon your New Year’s resolutionsmore power to you if you can stick to them. Instead, what I am tentatively offering you is something a little different to try out. Sit down with a piece of paper. Have a brainstorm on the things you would like to achieve this year. They need not be massive goals (trying avocado was hardly the most outstanding thing I have done to date) but try and

make them at least a little bit challenging (but not too challenging- it was really rather difficult to pull off a brief career as a burlesque artist without my parents finding out). Put the list somewhere safe. Look at it every now and again and see how you are doing. It is a wonderfully grounding experience to look at what you hoped to do/achieve a couple of months back and how you are getting on in getting closer to completing that goal. Add things to the list as they come to you.

And don’t be afraid to take things off the list either! As determined as I was to get a Mohawk it would have been a terrible idea and I would have regretted it immediately (I kept it on the list for a while anyway until I came to my senses). Enjoy the fun of having a little set of goals (goals that do not involve the resolution stereotype of losing 300 pounds/quitting smoking those lovely Cuban cigars/ taking up avian-inspired martial arts, etc). Keep it simple and personal to you.

I am not going to reveal everything I have on my list for this year. For now I am just going to say that I am looking forward to a day sometime in 2013 when I can see a couple in love and canoodling without having to worry about the wind changing at that exact moment and thus the look of sheer and utter disgust being permanently trapped on my face forever. Happy list making!

10 | Features

January 15th, 2013

The Savita Case Susan Rea discusses the intricacies of debate.

I

’m not politically or socially aware, even though I’m not a bad person, and I’m not a stupid person. It’s embarrassing to occasionally realise how little I know about our government, or the situation in Gaza, or any number of the other stories on the news every day. And I’m not alone in this ignorance, not at all, certainly not among people my age and most probably not among the Irish population as a whole. But every so often a news story comes along that seizes the attention of the average person which challenges us to form an opinion, to participate. It’s the kind of news story that pervades the daily phonecall from your Mam. “Did you hear about Savita, and isn’t it awful?”

We’ve all heard about the terrible circumstances surrounding the recent death of Savita Halappanavar, who was denied a medical termination to her pregnancy in UHG. It’s opened up a massive and highly emotional debate about our abortion laws, in this country and worldwide.

Central to this of course is the tragic loss of human life, the heartbreak of a young family torn apart. But I gladly eat my dinner to the soundtrack of RTE News reporting hundreds of unnecessary deaths in foreign wars I don’t know much about. So why does the Savita case register with me so much? Why were more than one thousand people so upset about the preventable death of a woman they’d never met, that they lined the streets, lit candles, cried, in protest? Because abortion is a touchy subject. It’s a subject, we’re told, you must have an opinion on.

Are you pro-choice? Are you pro-life? Are you modern or outdated, secular or spiritual?

Media reporting Savita’s death urged the message to us in the weeks preceding Christmas in no uncertain terms: get off the

fence.

It’s dangerous to approach this debate with that attitude.

By definition, abortion is not a black and white issue, and it’s unhealthy to think we should all decide one way or another. No one thinks abortion should be available without a considered decision. But no one thinks a woman should die as Savita did, when death seemingly could have been avoided. It’s an extremely complex and morally creviced debate that we shouldn’t only consider when there’s a convenient posterchild.

It’s easy to get carried away in the emotion of this story.

Pictures of Savita looking happy and beautiful are everywhere, accompanied by signs like “her blood is on your hands”. What a horrific accusation! The fact is that your local TD is not to blame for killing this beautiful, educated, loved woman. Her doctors are probably not murderers either. Your local priest did not foresee her death, the Catholic church are not rejoicing in it.

We’re all humans that value human life, and this debate should be about defining the boundaries of those values, and not about demonising people.

I struggle with my own views on abortion, but I agree with the portion of the Irish population that support the precedents of the X Case being put into place. Who wouldn’t support termination when the mother’s life is at risk? It’s bizarre, upsetting even that the entire debate in Irish media is about bringing in this very tentative first step towards the legalisation of abortion. To me and most of Ireland, being able to legally prevent another death like Savita’s is common sense.

The main argument the prolife movement have put out in response to this case revolves around the lack of evidence

that abortion could have prevented the death. They’re arguing that until the medical enquiry is finished, we can’t know if aborting Savita’s pregnancy would have saved her life. They’re missing the point! Leave the intricate details of Savita’s particular case to the private grief of her family. We have to recognise that this is one single case, with hundreds of factors and particular details pertaining to a single patient. It’s not helpful

for two totally opposing viewpoints to battle it out for tiny victories in the details of one case. While it was a provocative tool for getting people like me to think about the issue, Savita’s death should not be the central part of the Irish debate on abortion.

The problem here is that at the moment, it’s possible a woman could die as a result of this legal grey area. That should be concerning enough, whatever the outcome of the

COMMUTER Cork A5 DEC 2011_Layout 1 04/01/2012 10:51 Page 1

Savita enquiry.

Don’t polarise your opinions. This isn’t a good versus evil war, it’s a muddy pond that no one knows the perfect way out of. If, like most of us, you’re not expertly informed about the pro-life and prochoice camps, don’t jump onto the bandwagon of an opinion you can summarise with just two words. The wider debate is going to take a long time to tease out, and rightly so.

Features | 11

January 15th, 2013

Gaeilge: Not Up For Discussion Justin Fleming discusses the importance of the Irish language

I

am proud of myself.

When I consider what I like about myself, the heading of languages appears. I build my life around two languages: English and Gaeilge (Irish). I understand why some people are angry and may wish to see the Irish language made optional in secondary schools. There is a reason for this: some people do not want to engage with the language and would prefer to focus their efforts elsewhere on ‘more useful subjects’. Today, I have much to say against this reasoning, but first I will outline why I once held this view.

I have been living in Ireland my entire life and I remember my first experience with Gaeilge in a negative light. I was in junior infants in 1999 and was obliged to learn an Irish poem off by heart. I ask you, why anyone would expect such an outcome from young children of only four years. I don’t recall the name of the poem, not to mind the poem itself, and the lack of knowing it has done me no harm. As far as I can remember, throughout my seventeen year history, my entire experience of Gaeilge has been nothing but learning things off. I ask you, how could anyone find that enjoyable? When something isn’t enjoyable, why would someone want to do it? When someone doesn’t want to do something, they look to find reasons why they ever had to do it in the first place. There are few benefits to engaging with Gaeilge and this drives people to try to remove it from the curriculum, but those few benefits outweigh the downsides of Gaeilge.

Gaeilge is not an essential language for finding work, a small number of people use it after school, it isn’t required in any other country and it is mocked as a ‘dead language’.

This idea is untrue. Gaeilge offers you much more than work, popularity, travelling abroad or individuality. When a person is able to use Gaeilge and interact with other people, it’s a beautiful thing. Both speakers are able to be reborn and to have a fresh start with one another.

This is a monumental social advantage over people who are not willing to try. When a person begins using Gaeilge, that person has got a new medium through which to express themselves. When I was learning new words, I also started to use more words in English. This enriched my vocabulary, my confidence and my ability to communicate with other people.

Gaeilge builds confidence in people, reassuring them that they can achieve anything if they work at it, and working doesn’t always have to be difficult or tedious, it can be brilliant fun, especially if the work is enjoyable. The solution is to make Gaeilge more enjoyable.

Just like unwrapping a present or getting used to a new phone, Gaeilge isn’t easy, but it’s exciting and the outcome is worth it. Being able to speak a language, fluently or otherwise is a badge of honour, especially for Irish people; and if our ancestors, the people who died for Irish freedom and our children could see the reward we have earned from working hard at learning the language, we would be proud to see their

renewed respect for us. There is no one else on earth with the chance to speak and learn Gaeilge that everyone in Ireland has. We have the chance to go to the depths of any Gaeltacht we like and to immerse ourselves in the language there, we can directly contact any advocate of the language through personal contacts, email, Facebook or any other means available to us. Working alongside, or hearing advice from such advocates increases interest in Gaeilge further.

Equally, education in Ireland is meeting that test and it is meeting it now. When I was in the midst of doing my Junior Cert, I hated spending time on ‘Irish’ as I called it.

My results were barely passing 40% and I struggled to pass in higher level Irish. But, as soon as the Junior Cert was over, I entered into postJunior Cert Irish, or Gaeilge (because I started to enjoy it), which I love and cherish now and forever. The difference showed in my results. There was a general increase from 40% to 55%, visibly little, but very encouraging all the same. The realm of learning text off by heart was much less prevalent and was even avoidable dare I say it. Now, I was able to focus more on the more accessible sides of the subject: the speaking, the listening, the interaction, the new words and the platinum stories of old Ireland. Now, I fully agree with the phasing out of learning terms in maths, science, history, geography etc. through Gaeilge.

Teaching other subjects through this medium leads to confusion and a general distaste.

When I entered into my final year in secondary school, the emphasis was on speaking Gaeilge. My name is Saerbhreathach (share-vrahuck) as Gaeilge and when our teacher would greet me in the morning, ‘bhuel Saerbhreathach’, it would brighten up my mood, the mood of the teacher herself and the mood of the classroom. Calling us by our names as Gaeilge immediately engaged us and we kept this trend up throughout the day. We would express our individuality through Gaeilge when asked to talk about a certain topic. Instead of everyone citing the same story, everyone would speak openly about different stories that applied to them. Every story links into another and within weeks of intensive Irish speaking, we were all able to speak it fluently.

Any mistakes we made were highlighted on the clár dubh (black board) and we would not make them again. My message to those who wish to see Gaeilge made optional, i.e. those who no longer wish to engage with Gaeilge, is to hang in there until the tough learning is over, the percentage of reward is consistently increasing for spoken Irish and eventually this will be so high that it would be foolish not to try the higher level exam. Everyone is capable of doing it as long as they try. I tried, I did it.

I understand that ordinary level Irish can be disheartening for some people because of how ‘easy’ it is seen to be.

I would prefer if everyone tried to do higher level Irish because the difference is minimal. If you are enjoying the language, you will try to

speak it, if you’re speaking it, you’re improving, and if you consistently improve, you will become fluent. When the Leaving Cert results emerged in September 2012, my Junior Cert D was blown away with a higher level B2: a major boost in helping me into UCC. To those who say it is a ‘dead language’, I will remind you that there have been new Gaeltachts founded in Dublin City and elsewhere in the country to accommodate the rising demand for Gaeltacht regions in the last year.

From a patriotic view, we are all obliged to protect our national language from certain abolition if it is ‘made optional at Leaving Cert level’.

We must not allow our language to be destroyed by convenience, laziness to try, and other threats. The Republic of Ireland is all about the opposite of these arguments: inconvenience in working hard, welcoming risk and threats to succeed in new ways and to flourish as individual people all driven by the good of Ireland.

Gaeilge is not up for discussion. If leeway is given on this issue, the number of people trying will be diminished.

Sometimes choice has to be taken away from someone in order for them to make the most of what they have. It’s comparable to riding a ghost train, it’s very scary getting on, but as soon as you’re inside, it’s worth it. I hope my experience and views will help to encourage prospective Gaeil-goers to Gaeil-go for it because of the mass of benefits you would otherwise miss out on.

12 | Features

January 15th, 2013

2013: Make it LegenDerry Seán Ó Laoghaire

T

á dearca cuíosach ciniciúil agam ó thaobh athrú na bliana, nach bhfuil ann ach slí áisiúil chun achar ama a thomhais, ach fágfaidh mé é sin ar leaththaobh chun súil a chaitheamh ar trí nithe tabhachtach a bhfuil stádas áirithe fachta acu i mbliana, agus nach comhair a fhágaint ar leath thaobh.

Príomhchathracha cultúrtha na hEorpa –Is iad Marseille-Provence sa Fhrainc agus Košíc sa tSlóvaic na cath-

racha a roghnaíodh don onóir seo i mbliana. Tá fhios agam, go háirithe anseo i gCorcaigh tar éis a bheith mar phríomhcathair i 2005, go mbíonn daoine cuíosach amhrasach faoin stádas seo.

Ach tógfaidh mé go bhfuil dhá tionscnamh éagsúil ag na cathracha seo. Sé an rud gur mhaith liom an bhéim a chur air ná cathair Marseille, ní rabhas ríomh i Košíc. Ar chostas óirdeisceart na Fraince is cathair an difrúil é Marseille ó cathracha eile sa Fhrainc, Rennes agus Páras, mar coimeádann sé gnéithe de phearsantacht na cathracha Fraince. Sa bhreis ar sin, feictear cosúileachtaí ann le

cathracaha Iarthar na hIodáile cosúil le Napoli agus Genova.

Sa bhreis ar sin, de bharr go raibh stair ag an cathair le inimircigh (ó tuaisceart na hAifric don chuid is mó) ag teacht i dtír ann, bhíodh achrann cultúire ann, rud a tugann a chuid fadhbanna leí ar ndóigh ach a múnlaíonn pearsantacht sainiúil don chathair.

Ag siúl trí na ceantair éagsúla den chathair, feictear méascán de chúltúr éagsúil agus tugann sé beocht leis nach bhfeictear i gcathracha móra cosúil le Páras nó Milan. Sna cathracha san bíonn brú agus deifir ar na daoine ag bogadh ó áit go háit. I Marseille, mar aon le Napoli, ní hí seo an cás, bíonn an pobal ag siúl timpeall go breá réigh, ag imirt peil ar na sráide agus istoíche amú ar na cearnóige ag ligint a scíth, ag ithe is ag ól go séimh, nó thuas in aice leis an seana caladh ag éisteacht le ceolchoirm. Is léiriú é ar an meon fíor difrúil agus dearfach ata ag muintir Marseille, i gcodarsnacht le cathracha eile sa Fhrainc, nó Oir-Tuaisceart na hIodáile mar sampla. In aineoinn seo creidim gur cathair éagsúil agus iontach í Marseille, agus bheadh an stádas mar phríomhchathair cultúrtha na hEorpa tuilte aici. Ní hamháin go bhfuil atmaisféar iontach ag an cathair, ach tá sé lán le radharcanna iontach, tá ceann de na páirceanna peile is fearr san Eoraip, Stade Veledromme, lonnaithe ann, agus an trá is áille a chonaic mé riamh. Sa bhreis ar sin, is é baile dúchais Zinedine Zidane.

Cathair Cultúrtha an Ríocht Aontaithe - Ní hamháin a bheidh an dá príomh-

chathracha cultúrtha againn i 2013, ach feicfimid an chéad “Cathair Cultúrtha an Ríocht Aontaithe” i mbliana. Go gairid; ‘sé atá i gceist leis an tionscnamh nua seo ná go roghneofar cathair gach ceithre bliana chun béim a chur ar chultúir an cathair sin, agus eachtraí cultúrtha an Ríocht Aontaithe a rith ann. (nithí cosúil leis an Man Booker Prize agus An Turner Prize). I 2010 roghnaíodh Doire mar an chéad cathair cultúrtha. Thosaigh an bliain ag céiliúradh na 400 bliain ó bhunú na fallaí a múnláionn cruth an cathair féin, agus bhí a lán éachtraí ar siúl lonaithe ar na fallaí (mar shampla an marathan ar na fallaí) tríd an bhliain. Aontaím leis mar rogha toisc gur cathair fíor spéisiúl í, ní amháin ó thaobh ceoil agus cultúir de, ach mar chathair lán de stair, agus ceann a bhfuil fós lán de íomhánna agus caointe ó aimsir na trioblóidí. Tá, ar ndóigh, fós teanais ann ón aimsir caite, ach ar a laighead níl sé comh beo is a samhlóifeá ó (sheana) tuairiscí faoin gceantar. Tugann an teideal an seans don cathair í féin a bhronnadh i solas difriúil don pobal náisiúnta agus idirnáisiúnta. De bharr

iriú gur cathair álainn í gur fiú cuairt a tabhairt uirthi.

Ó thaobh na heachtraí a bheidh ar siúl an bliain seo, faightear go mbeidh a lán dramaí, léachtaí filíochta, ceoilchoirm, agus a lán gníomhaí eile atá oscailte chun go nglacfaidh an phobal páirt lárnach iontu. Sa bhreis ar sin faightear meascán leathan idir taispeantais nua cumtha, agus athléiriú ar nithe le cáil idirnáisiúnta orthu cosúil le dramaí éagsúla de chuid Brian Friel ar siúl. Comh maith le sin, beidh Fleadh Cheoil na hÉireann i nDoire i mí Lúnasa 2013, an chéad uair riamh a bheadh an fleadh lonaithe laistigh den Tuaisceart.

Go háirithe toisc gur cathair cóngarach Éireannach í, gan gá le héitealán a thógaint

bagairt an foréigin agus an seicteachas a d’fhag marc dhubh ar stair Doire (mar aon le ceantaracha eile de Tuaisceart na hÉireann), measaim go raibh leisce ar daoine cuairt a thabhairt uirthi, fiú suas le deich mbliana ó shin– ach inniu tá stáitse aici chun an bagairt sin a chur ar leaththaobh agus lé-

ann, molainn do léitheoirí cuairt a thabhairt ar Doire i mbliana agus má cúrdaítear an súiomh www.cityofculture2013.com geobhfá eolas maith ar cén saghas éachtraí a bheadh ar siúl ann.

Bliain na Gaeilge 2013 – An triú rud is fiú ard a thabhairt air i mbliana ná

an feachtas náisiúnta seo chun “an phobal a chumasú chun an Ghaeilge a úsáid”. Beidh eachtraí difrúila ar siúl i rith na bliana chun an aidhm sin a chuir i gcríoch cosúil le lá i mí Aibréan ina labhairtear Gaeilge amháin le haghaidh dhá uair a chloig déag chun airgead a bhailiú le haghaidh cartharnach éagsúla,an lá i mí Mean Fómhair le haghaidh céiliúradh an ciorcal comhrá agus ar ndóigh beidh Seachtain na Gaeilge ann i mí Márta mar is gnáth. Do roghnaíodh 2013, mar is 120 bliain é ón tosach an Athbheochán na Teanga leis an gcéad cruinniú ag Conradh na Gaeilge. Do sheol Michéal Ó Múircheartaigh agus Pádraig ó Sé an bliain go hoifigúil sa Daingean ar Oíche Chinn Bhliana, le teachtaire ó Uachtarán na hÉireann, Micheal D Higgins, a dúirt “Tá ról na Gaeilge sa lá atá inniu níos tábhachtaí ná riamh agus brú ag teacht ar mhionteangacha ar fud an domhain mhóir. Is dlúthchuid dár gcultúr agus dár bhféiniúlacht í an Ghaeilge. Mar Uachtarán na hÉireann, tá mé an-sásta tacú go láidir le Bliain na Gaeilge – is linne an teanga agus braitheann a todhchaí orainn.”.

Níos tabhachtaí ná na féilte seo ná go mbíodh meon dearfach oscailte ag daoine.

Más é chun obair maith a dhéanamh, nó láimh a caitheamh le tionscnamh nua nó díriú ar do scileanna féin, impíom oraibh an mána atá ag Doire a thógaint go croí – 2013 Make It LegenDerry!

Images: belfasttelegraph.co.uk, discoverirelandmedia.com, lonelyplanet.com

Verge

Entertainment // Film & TV // Music // Arts & Literature // Gaming

02 | Editorials

January 15th, 2013

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records

Tracy Nyhan

Entertainment Editor

S

o another year has begun. At this time, some people like to make resolutions for the year to come; promises to themselves to make them feel better in some way another. Give something up, take something on, all for the sake of becoming an overall better person. Personally, I don’t believe in New Year resolutions. If I want to introduce something new to my

life or want to cut something out, eat healthier food, exercise more, spend more time studying, I do when I feel like it, I don’t join the hype of making resolutions I really have no intention of keeping at the time.

Having said that, hearing about the little dilemmas of choosing a resolution to uphold for the next three hundred and sixty five days is refreshing; they are a welcome escape from the gloomy news headlines that are ever prevalent in recent times. News is rather bleak right now and has been for some time. From reports of tragic shootings, lost legislative opportunities and the seemingly never-ending debates related to them, to 2012 was a challenging year and I’m certain that some people couldn’t wait to wave goodbye to the year.

As with everything, there is another side of the coin

and in this case, the other side conveys some very good and positive moments from last year. For one, the year was indicative of how successful the Irish can be on an international sporting stage. Last year saw Irish athletes excelling in various sports. The Olympics held in London during the summer was Ireland’s most successful Olympics in almost sixty years, while the hard graft of Irish athletes did not pass unobserved at the Paralympics. Our athletes brought five and sixteen well-earned medals, respectively, home with them. Elsewhere, in golf, Rory McIlroy regained his world number one ranking as a result of his triumph in the PGA Championships this year, at just twenty-three years of age.

There are other positive aspects of the year which haven’t been focused on to the same extent that nega-

tive things have been. Road deaths on Irish roads are at a new low; the number of fatalities relating to accidents decreased from 186 to 161 this year, making 2012 the safest year on our roads since records began over fifty years ago. Ireland’s television and film industry is another source of positivity having enjoyed a remarkable year; €118 million was invested in the industry by foreign sources during 2012, a figure testament to the rising influence and success of Irish film and television projects – and long may it continue.

The bleak news is impossible to ignore, but a positive outlook is always important.

The challenging times are met with active efforts to improve situations. The level of success achieved in various fields in 2012 is something to be proud of, despite the challenges that the year

forced upon us.

The talk of resolutions during the past week or so has, at least, provided us with some distraction and gave us the opportunity to view 2013 with a fresh outlook; as a new beginning of sorts. Of course, a resolution isn’t to everyone’s taste, so you’ll find enough suggestions here on how to distract yourself from the harsh realities of the world, should you feel the need. Now that college is in full swing again, you’ll notice a sea of events organised by those involved in clubs and societies who work tirelessly to improve the college experience for everyone despite the uncertainty that the future holds.

Yes, times are difficult but it seems that when things get difficult, they simply transform into a challenge; a challenge to rise above, which is exactly the opportunity that the New Year is handing us.

Editor’s Pick: Skrillex: Leaving EP Jack Broughan

A

s far as popular music producers go, Skrillex is probably one of the most loved and most hated by listeners the world over.

If one were to look at Sonny Moore in interviews’, this fact becomes quite bewildering.

On the face of things, Skrillex seems to be rather open, humble and utterly bemused by the polarization of opinion his records have stirred in recent years. On closer look it seems that classification rather than character is the source of most naysayer’s ire.

Slapped after just about every YouTube, video, torrent or spotify playlist where Skrillex is concerned, the tag “Dubstep” is never far.

Initially, seeing Skrillex’s music identified as Dubstep

was something that utterly baffled me. Dubstep immediately conjures the sound of the first wave of English DJs, people like Distance, Skream, Kode 9 and Digital Mystikz. Skrillex comes from an altogether separate tradition. Arguably inspired by the aforementioned artists, the Americas seem to have picked up from the territory that Rusko dipped into and ran with it. Skrillex instead seemed more in line with artists like Excision, Datsik.

Like Rusko both seemed to be pushing their sounds into the far more aggressive spectrum of Dubstep, loud modern sounding bass synths purposely built to sound as huge as possible.

When comparing artists like Datsik and Skrillex alongside Kode 9 or Skream, it’s pretty easy to see why blanketing all artists concerned

as Dubstep brings out such extreme responses. Arguably, Skrillex’s music may be influenced by English DJs but his output at the moment is something of a totally different lineage. In this light the hype swirling around the Leaving EP is pretty confusing. A cursory glance at any music forum discussing the topic will lead to the usual mudslinging about Skrillex’s music but also comparisons with Burial and future garage DJs like Joy Orbison. Both comparisons that don’t quite hold up on first listen of the EP. The opening track sound like usual Skrillex territory, driven by a long arpeggiated synth line and snappy, loud drums and the same predictable arrangements, complete with usual crescendos.

“Scary Bolly Dub” however is where things start to get a little weird. Sounding more

like a Rusko track circa Babylon Volume one, layered with Skrillex’s penchant for huge FM Synths the track builds into a drop sampled straight off of another Skrillex track “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites”. The result is a rather weird hybrid, “Scary Bolly Dub” sounds more like a third rate remix by a YouTube DJ rather than a Skrillex release.

The EP’s last track “Leaving” is the main reason for the mountain of Burial comparisons.

Opening with a jittery two step beat the track centres on a sample of pitched shifted and chopped vocals that sound like something off a Mount Kimbie record. The track however doesn’t seem to develop that much, introducing a few themes and cycling between them. “Leaving” does have some common points with

Burial, but claiming these attributes make Skrillex sound like Burial would be a massive stretch. The track sounds more like a third rate version of Burial if anything, the synths sound flat and disjointed and the track just sounds flat out boring. The EP on a whole sounds rather contrived, more like a pile of unrelated tracks that Skrillex had sitting about on his desktop rather than a body of work. While it is interesting to see Skrillex bring in a few new influences into his sound, Leaving EP is certainly not a break through release. The record seems to be Skrillex only briefly touching on areas outside of his musical comfort zone, or even a release of B sides. I wouldn’t bet on Skrillex putting out a future garage record just yet.

Entertainment | 03

January 15th, 2013

2013: A Year in Preview Tracy Nyhan and Jack Broughan forecast some of the stories they expect to read in the coming months.

S

till more noise from Sean Quinn’s Mountjoy Fan Club: In a recent interview with the BBC, Sean Quinn outlined his personal conducted opinion poll of Mountjoy prison, announcing to the world that “One hundred per cent of inmates felt he should not be there.” Perhaps Quinn’s findings were as a result of a small sample group, or perhaps the bizarre self-denial that punctuates all of Quinn’s public statements, Quinn’s findings betrayed a bedrock of support within one of Irelands most prestigious institutions. Now numbering over two thousand members, the Mountjoy Quinn Fan Club stands to advocate the plight of Sean Quinn, a simple entrepreneur who from humble beginnings became a vital pillar of Ireland’s economy, as illustrated by asset-stripping the Quinn group and attempting to dodge bankruptcy by taking a quick jaunt to Northern Ireland. Perhaps it’s the goodness of Quinn’s heart that drives his rabid support, or maybe it’s the promise of shopping centres for all in the Ukraine.

United Kingdom welcomes red-haired heir: As the world looks on in anticipation and curiosity, a new royal baby will come screaming into the world.

Never mind speculating the child’s gender and what the name will be - the big question is; will Kate Middleton

give birth to a ginger heir?

According to the director of BritainsDNA, Alistair Moffat, there’s a 52% chance that the baby (whose daddy carries the gene) will be ginger.

Of course, this event is hardly unprecedented and may well follow in the footsteps of his Uncle Harry, or previous red-haired monarchs, Queen Elizabeth and King Henry VIII.

Haylor is no more: Swift seeks comfort in Adele: That’s right, at some point in 2013 (I’m betting the early rather than later months for this) the word ‘Haylor’ will cease to be frequently used. This is most definitely a good thing. However, as Harry Styles and Taylor Swift halt to a ‘shocking’ end, another Love Story will begin, as she swiftly runs into the arms of music rival, Adele.

Adele will understand Taylor Swift’s heartbreak, having gone through enough of it herself. Taylor Swift will also see the benefits of dating Adele; heartbreak at the hands of a woman will empower her to mix things up, and inspire her to produce fresh material and an overall diverse album. Whether or not this relationship will survive until 2014 is still unclear to see, but there’ll be at least two (agonizingly bitter) albums to look forward to in the near future.

Ireland first to fall in Apocalypse as The Gathering ends in disaster: 2013 is hoped to be the year to celebrate all things Irish.

Entitled “The Gathering”, the initiative was launched by the Taoiseach, Tánaiste and Minister for Tourism in May 2012 and supported by Fáilte Ireland and Tourism Ireland, and plans to host clan gatherings, festivals, special sporting events, music and concerts all across the country, all year long for what promises to be the biggest tourism initiative ever staged in Ireland. Everyone who has left the country will be invited to unite with their family and friends to celebrate their connection.

However, Ireland’s hopes of uniting those who have left our fair shores in the search of a better, brighter future will end in tragedy when the guests turn into zombies and munch their old Irish friends.

Think cold, dark, sombre.

Think Battle Royale. To be fair, how else is it expected to turn out with the generic horror film title like “The Gathering”? The outcome is inevitable, so all that remains to be determined is when it will happen. Read on.

Impending doom. Having survived the Mayan apocalypse, the rapture and the inevitable march of time for another year, we should probably be feeling pretty good about ourselves. What we should perhaps feel a little less positive about, is our collective co-opting of the rather tenuous evidence supporting our Mayan predicted end. Even by the accounts of some of the loudest proponents of the Mayan apocalypse the actual mention of the supposed end of the world is referenced in just one text. The text, known as the Tortuguero Monument 6 discovered in Tabasco Mexico, refers to a thirteenth Bak’tun dating to December the 21, 2012. Bak’tun’s refer to a passage of time, equating to 5125 years. In fact, the majority of texts refer to the 21st of December 2013 as the next ending of a Bak’tun era. More likely a yardstick

used by the Mayans to measure time, rather than our untimely doom, it looks like we have another notch on the calendar to use as an excuse to drink ourselves into a coma and make poor life choices.

Treyarch to announce another Call of Duty Game (Operation Cash Cow).

Developed under the name Call Of Duty 25, according to reliable industry sources, Treyarch are to work with publishers Activision again on another Call of Duty title. Details are undoubtedly scarce due to the title’s early development stage, but due to Treyarch banking on nobody noticing that the game engine hasn’t been changes in six years, wild speculation is welcome. Further details betray plans for the game to go free to play, instead relying on optional micro transactions to generate profit.

Options such as player skins, weapons, ammunition and a breakthrough in video game chauvinism, a “girlfriend mode” all feature. Details of the game’s DLC has also leaked, as the games entire single player campaign has been confirmed for day one DLC, priced at twenty US dollars per mission. A Treyarch employee has recently issued a statement via Twitter that most certainly was not composed under the influence of alcohol stating: “the single player was totally not part of the original development cycle” and that “if you don’t like it, go torrent the damn game.”

The Beatles Reunion 2013, now in 3D: Following the success of Tupac’s holo-

gram performance at Coachella, Paul McCartney is due to be shot by EMI record executives in order to make way for a hologram reunion of the band. The stay of execution marks the opening salvo in EMI’s hostile takeover of the Beatles song catalogue, intellectual property and whatever semblance of artistic integrity that could be salvaged from the worlds most overrated skiffle band.

EMI has issued a statement dispelling any inaccuracies about the multinational music company’s motivations.

Stating that “…it would have never have come to this if you peasants stopped tormenting Beatles albums and bought our overpriced reissue boxed sets.” The statement also confronts moral outrage by stating: “George Martin wrote all of this crap anyway.” Dates and ticket prices are now available and the tour is set to run until whenever Les Misérables finally stops showing in the West End. Demise of hashtag restores faith for future. #AboutTime: Is there a future for the English spoken word with the death of the dreaded hash tag? Twitter is responsible for this terrible catastrophe, with which I am still trying to come to terms.

However, I have an inkling that the days of the hash tag will be numbered in 2013.

In other news, the unnecessary, overly-used initialisation of words will also become entirely extinct. People will learn that spelling is not a lost art and they may even start saving their characters on social networking sites for something worthwhile, like, you know, full words. Maybe people care about the future of the written word after all.

One can only dream…

04 | Film & TV

January 15th, 2013

Capturing the Unfilmable Cathal Dennehy praises Ang Lee’s Life of Pi.

I

f there was ever an unfilmable novel, Yann Martel’s Life of Pi is a story for which the phrase seems to have been made.

The bulk of the novel focuses on a teenage boy and a tiger afloat on a life raft in the middle of the Pacific ocean as the boy reflects on religion, survival and life in general – it hardly seems ripe for a film adaptation.

So like many people, I was very sceptical when I heard that Ang Lee would attempt to bring Life of Pi to the silver screen. However, any reservations I had were thoroughly put to rest upon finally viewing the finished product.

One of the most important points to note about Life of Pi is the fact that Ang Lee and screenwriter David Magee have done a terrific job in making such a com-

plex and, in many ways, very strange story work into a coherent and hugely entertaining film. The book is very much dominated

by Pi’s internal monologue and narration, and as a result, huge sections can become quite dense. The film condenses such sections into far more manageable sizes. For example the book’s first forty or fifty pages describe in some detail Pi’s experiences of growing up in the Pondicherry zoo, which is turned into the film’s opening credit montage. While there are some minor changes to the source, such as a fairly inconsequential side plot involving Pi’s girlfriend, the film remains diligently faithful while still managing to trim certain sections to fit the film’s narrative.

The film is really an-

chored by the dual performances of Suraj Sharma and Irrfan Khan, who play younger and older Pi respectively. It is particularly impressive that Sharma managed to give such an engaging and confident performance given that, not only does he spend most of the film surrounded by blue screens, interacting only with a CGI tiger, but this is also his first film. Khan also makes the most of his narrator role which could have very easily been nothing more than dealing out plot exposition in lesser hands.

Prior to the film’s release, there was considerable interest in the film’s use of visual effects and 3D. It is these features which help make the film work so well, especially the main section set in the middle of the ocean. The ef-

fects are incredible but it’s not just that they’re photorealistic (many of them are) but rather that they add so much to the scene. It really is a case of a picture telling a thousand words, a prime example of visual imagery. In fact, there is around forty minutes in the middle of the film in which it becomes virtually speechless, with only the performances, music and visuals telling the story as opposed to dialogue. As well as this, the 3D, for once, actually adds to the viewing experience. It is clear that many of the sequences have actually been thought through with 3D very much in mind (the flying fish sequence probably being the best example). This is certainly the best use of 3D since Avatar and is one of the few times where it has been used as

a legitimate filmmaking technique as opposed to a money making gimmick.

Life of Pi is not only a very successful adaptation but it actually manages to create something more from the novel. This is a great example of a film as a piece of art. There are various layers to it and can be accesssed in different ways.

I see this as the type of film Terrence Malick wants to make – very emotional stories with visuals and also the question of faith playing prominent roles. Where as Malick’s films, in my opinion, tend to be cryptic and often inaccessible, Life of Pi is anything but. It seems that 2012 was saving one of its best films for last.

A different kind of disaster movie David Coleman finds the relative lack of sentimentality in The Impossible refreshing.

T

he disaster movie is a difficult one to get right. Several have tried to capture the sheer scale of their chosen disasters, but this comes at the expense of any genuine impact. By failing to establish any human struggle the centre of the story, these movies sacrifice their emotional connection with the audience and become mere sensationalism.

The Impossible, the second film by Spanish director Juan Antonio Bayona, is not one of these movies.

Bayona debuted in 2007 with creepy horror classic The Orphanage, and there are many similarities between the two. Both bring emotional care to genres that typically resort to exploitation, delivering heart-

felt stories about clinging to the impossible when all hope seems lost. The Impossible tackles this theme on a far greater scope than The Orphanage, yet Bayona is no less in control.

The story revolves around Henry and Maria Bennett (Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts) and their sons Lucas, Simon and Thomas, who have the misfortune of holidaying in Thailand and falling victim to the 2004 tsunami. All survive, but Lucas (Tom Holland) is isolated and taking care of his seriously injured mother, while Henry and the other two sons struggle to find them. Based on the remarkable true story of the Spanish Belon family, the family’s nationality here is changed to British, pre-

sumably to broaden the commercial appeal. This decision is a questionable one when considering how many lives were lost, but cast and crew manage to sidestep any potential problems with a gripping and sincere story of hope and survival.

Much of this can be credited to the efforts of the cast. Watts delivers the performance of her career, while McGregor is at his most endearing. Giving both stars a run for their money is sixteen year old Tom Holland as oldest son Lucas, making a strong case for best newcomer in the upcoming awards season. Equal parts scared and brave, Lucas comes into his own when called upon to provide small acts

of heroism for other families while watching over his increasingly weak mother.

Think Spielberg, only without the cloying sentimentality or annoying comic relief.

The ten minute tsunami sequence is as good as anything I’ve seen in the last year at the movies. Rather than building up with a predicable seaside fiasco, Bayona stays further inland with the family. Beginning with a nerve shredding rumble seconds before all hell breaks loose. The camera stays with Maria and Lucas as they’re swept up, battered senseless by the waves and never more than a few moments from death.

The decision to film using practical effects rather than CGI is a wise one, adding a sense of immediacy to the

whole affair so the audience is truly feels the terror of the characters on screen.

The final scenes in which the family are reunited can’t help but feel a bit movie-ish, but it’s to Bayona’s credit that he doesn’t overdo it. Where Spielberg would have gone into touchy-feely overdrive, Bayona judges it perfectly.

The reunion had some people in the cinema weeping with the sheer emotional power, while rows of body bags, horrifying flashbacks and overhead shots of the devastation remind us that, in the midst of such tragedy, closure doesn’t come so easily - if at all.

Film & TV | 05

January 15th, 2013

Call me a Lincoln-lover In anticipation of Spielberg’s Lincoln, Bryan Lynch considers depictions of the Southern cause in the American Civil War.

W

hen I went to see Ang Lee’s Life of Pi, I was able to catch a new trailer for Steven Spielberg’s upcoming Lincoln and I am able to say that I think it looks great. The American Civil War is something of a pet topic for me; a fascinating and deeply complex period which questioned both humanity and the nature of republican government.

My primary hope for Lincoln is that it does not fall into the trap which has ensnared so many other American films about the Civil War, and judging from the trailers and press releases, I don’t think it will. Far be it for me to declare that film should act as a history class, but I think it is undeniable that since the birth of American cinema, Hollywood

has frequently had a very unhealthy relationship with the Civil War. Dozens of films from The Birth of a Nation (1915) to Gods and Generals (2003) have been tainted with something which undermines their quality as cinematic art: a shallow, simplistic and overly idealised vision of the Confederacy. The Confederates have all too often been portrayed as noble, honourable patriots fighting for independence, rather than for the maintenance of a brutal society built on foundations of slavery.

The ways in which films have done this has varied over the decades. In 1915 D.W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation framed the conflict and its aftermath in terms of a racial war between white and

black with the Ku Klux Klan the saviours of the South. In 1939’s Gone with the Wind, the Southern cause is perhaps portrayed as misguided, but nonetheless romantic and heroic. Both of these films of course have their origins in a genre of early twentieth century literature which champions the “Lost Cause” of the Confederacy and both portray an idyllic Antebellum South of cavaliers, maidens and happy slaves.

Furthermore in both films, the emancipation of the slaves is shown to be detrimental to both black and white. In Griffith’s film, freed blacks, drunk with power, rampage through South Carolina, while in Gone with the Wind the former slaves are transposed into corrupted car-

petbaggers or misguided simpletons ripe for exploitation by unscrupulous politicians.

Even films which lack the overt hate found in The Birth of a Nation or the soft racism of Gone with the Wind often stumble into this pitfall. Both Cold Mountain and Ang Lee’s superb Ride with the Devil view the prewar south with rose-tinted lenses. I’m not saying that every Confederate soldier should be portrayed as a whip-cracking, slaveowning monster but that when American films are honest about the nature of the Confederacy, it makes them much more compelling. Part of the reason why the battle scenes in Ed Zwick’s outstanding Glory (1989) are so terrifying is because the

film does a great job of showing the type of enemy black Union soldiers faced during the war: an effective, relentless army serving a brutal government built on the doctrine of white supremacy who made it official policy to murder captured Northern troops because of the colour of their skin.

Lincoln will feature great performances and the superb technical skill of a talented director but if it is to go down as a great Civil War film it will be because it reiterates the fact that slavery was the reason the Confederacy existed, and that its leaders fought to preserve this horrific institution rather than the fantasy of an unspoilt agrarian paradise.

Visual Valium Aisling Murphy switches off her brain – much like the cast of Made in Chelsea, actually…

T

he word I associate most with E4’s socalled reality show Made in Chelsea is ‘ridiculous’. Arguably the stupidest programme on our screens, MIC focuses on the lives and loves of the wealthy young inhabitants of London’s Chelsea district. The cast of the reality show are vapid, selfish and completely devoid of the usual characteristics one celebrates in humanity: intelligence, generosity, kindness...the list goes on. The ‘storyline’ (if you could even call it that) follow the (mostly) goodlooking socialites as they totter from party to country house to shopping trips back to party – por-

traying how privileged the one percent really are.

Nothing ever really happens; no one ever learns anything from their experiences; the watcher certainly doesn’t learn anything from the experience...and I love it. Yes, you read that right. I am totally, utterly, embarrassingly addicted to Made in Chelsea. I am not alone – shows don’t get renewed for four seasons (with a fifth in the pipeline) without having a very sizeable audience tuning in weekly.

I have racked my brains trying to find out why I watch it so religiously, and the reasons have been hard to find. Usually the reasons I enjoy a pro-

gramme is because the characters and their relationships draw me in, the plot is exciting and interesting, or the punch lines come thick and fast. MIC has none of this: unappealing characters, dull relationships, zero plot, and the characters think a punch line is the queue for cocktails at one of their endless parties.

It was five-thirty last Thursday night and I had just completed two essays that were due in eight hours. Cumulatively I had enjoyed 6 hours sleep in the last two nights, not due to late nights in Havanna’s but because of the aforementioned essays as well as two exams on Wednes-

day. I was deliriously tired but also caffeine filled and wide awake. I needed to wind down and I found the perfect solution: Made in Chelsea. Absolutely mindnumbing, I could switch my brain off and just enjoy their insipid conversations and pretty faces.

The golden, instagram-filter lighting of every scene (does it ever rain? They are in England, aren’t they?) was easy on my eyes; the plink-plonk of the indie music that soundtracks the characters’ many ‘pondering’ expressions (i.e. blank looks while they strive to remember their next lines) soothed my racing brain.

Every minor event was

overly explained; nothing was complicated; I didn’t care about Binky or Cheska (I’m not making these names up) or ‘the boys’ no emotions were felt, no brain cells were strained.

Therein lies the appeal of Made in Chelsea – it is visual valium, no thought at all is required. After a long day of lectures, of not understanding what the hell is going on, watching ridiculous people leading their implausible (scripted) lives is like yoga without the effort. Looking to wind down at the end of the day? Grab the beverage of your choice and let the mind-numbing commence.

06 | Music

January 15th, 2013

It’s all in the genes

Bob.

So celebrities’ kids seem to have it all, good looks, cool parents and oodles of cash, but have any of them actually inherit talent from their famous parents? Ruth Ni Leannachain investigates…

U

p until recently I associated celebrities’ kids with a lot of negative things; falling out of exclusive clubs with their beautiful (and equally cool) friends, modeling their clothing ranges for cheap magazines, and gener-

for I have increasingly been finding celebrities’ kids who worth listening to and more and more I’ve began to realize that maybe, I was wrong.

The band that changed my mind was Zulu, the self proclaimed Tribal Punk outfit

ally having cushy lives. I dismissed their generally feeble acting/modeling/socialite careers and, call me a snob but, I certainly didn’t want to listen to whatever music they were making. However, in the last few weeks that’s all changed,

partially founded by Louis Simonon. Son of Clash bassist Paul, and indeed, a bassist himself, Louis and Zulu have been making waves on the London punk scene (or what’s left of it) and have been leaving any negative stereotypes be-

hind them. I stumbled across the band in a dingy basement at the ultra-hip Birthdays club in Dalton last summer when they supported ‘Cerebral Ballzy’ and was immediately impressed by their confident and unpredictable stage presence, but while Zulu may give the impression of a thrown together ensemble they are definitely not lacking in technical skill. Their debut EP ‘Way of the Zulu’ boasts catchy ‘put it on repeat’ punk songs with sharp relevant lyrics delivered with passion by lead vocalist Luke’s London drawl, Zulu are this writers hot tip for 2013.

On the other end of the musical spectrum we find Pixie Geldof, known better perhaps as the little sister of fruitcake Peaches (excuse the pun) and daughter of LiveAid mastermind and wrinkly

rocker Bob, than budding musician. Despite her bad reputation, she has actually been playing the guitar and writing music since she was 11. Pixie has been keeping a very low profile lately choosing to focus on recording and writing rather than Vogue spreads and tabloid scandals. She and her band Violet admit to being heavily influenced by 90’s grunge and in particular, Hole, the band who inspired their name. Their first single ‘Come Undone’ boasts a dreamy melody which Geldof’s deep and soulful voice suits perfectly and despite a somewhat cringe-inducing video it, along with B-side Y.O.U, are perfect Lo-Fi chill out music.

They may never be the critics’ favourite but Violet definitely don’t deserve to hide in the shadow of Live-Aid and Sir

And finally there’s Eliot Sumner, who is perhaps better known under her musical alias ‘I Blame Coco’. Sumner successfully disassociated herself from her father, Sting, when she began gigging first and despite being just 21 has already worked with artists like Robyn and La Roux and has played Glastonbury, Leeds/Reading and T in the Park. Her electro sound is as good acoustic as it is on a huge stage and her talent is something Island Records have rewarded with a 6 album deal. The 2nd of these albums is in the pipeline and is set to be full of the personal lyrics, humming voice and effortlessly cool persona her fans have become accustomed to.

Expect her at the summer festivals.

So I was wrong, celebrity kids aren’t just beautiful, rich and privileged with all the right connections and super liberal parents, and maybe some of them don’t deserve the critique we give them. In fact, it seems now that on top of everything else they can be super talented too. Me, bitter?

Never…

Photo courtesy of wayofthezulu.tumblr. com and Guardian.co.uk.

Jake Bugg, The Next Big Thing?

Jake Bugg released his solo album last October to mass critical acclaim, but now that the hype as died down, is he really worth his salt? Eoghan Scott investigates…

I

n this day and age, where a reality television career and being a pop star is practically the same thing, it’s genuinely surprising when (seemingly out of nowhere) somebody such as Jake Bugg emerges. To be just eighteen years old and to have already released an album is impressive enough. To be eighteen years old and for that album to reach number one on the charts is even better. Of course, being eighteen years old and having a number one album isn’t necessarily a new thing. In fact, some of the most famous and recognisable people in the world have achieved just that, Justin Bieber being the obvious example. What sets Jake Bugg’s self-titled debut apart though,

perhaps most impressive of all, is that it’s actually good.

Opening track ‘Lightning Bolt’ kicks things off with an upbeat skiffle/rock melody and lyrics worthy of Alex Turner, not a comparison to be thrown around lightly. Released as the first single off the album, it gets things off to an impressive start and is not let down when followed up by ‘Two Fingers’, another rousing, lively track, and perhaps the catchiest song on an album full of surprisingly catchy songs.

The standard set by Bugg continues onto one of the (many) standout tracks of the album, ‘Seen It All’; once again drawing lyrical comparisons to Alex Turner, the song is a narrative tale of a night out

gone wrong. Barely a minute into the song, it is clear how out of his depth the narrator is (“I made my way inside past a thousand crazy eyes/then a friend took me aside, said everyone here has a knife”).

The song builds upon this tension, eventually culminating in somebody being stabbed and Bugg bursting into an energetic chorus of “I’ve seen it all, I’ve seen it all, nothing shocks me anymore”. He’s only eighteen, he obviously hasn’t seen it all just yet; but the beauty of the song is that, for almost three minutes, he manages to convince you that he has.

The album sees a change of pace following ‘Seen It All’, settling into a more reflective tone and beginning with the folksy ‘Simple As This’,

the acoustic ballad ‘Country Song’, and the anthemic ‘Broken’, without the quality ever once dipping. The influence of Bob Dylan is clearly felt on track nine, ‘Ballad of Mr. Jones’, another dark narrative song, acting as a sort of companion piece to ‘Seen It All’, about a murder trial and it’s resulting consequences.

Following that track is another three track run of acoustic ballads, the high point of which (and probably the high point of the entire album) is ‘Someone Told Me’, a song with such a rich and perfect melody, one wonders how it could be written by someone not even in their twenties; and more than anything, it acts as the perfect outlet for his distinctive voice.

As it is, ‘Jake Bugg’ is a thoroughly consistent album, and with songs like these it’s no wonder he is already able to count God...I mean Noel Gallagher... and The Stone Roses as part of his growing fanbase.

Only 18 years old and he’s already achieved so much more than me. It’s a kind of depressing thought... I think I’ll cheer myself up by listening to Jake Bugg.

Jake Bugg plays to a sold-out audience at The Academy, Dublin on Sunday February 10th. His album is available now.

(Image courtesy of thisisnottingham.co.uk)

Music | 07

January 15th, 2013

Vintage vs Modern A lot of people complain that the standard of popular music has fallen recently, but is that fair? Nicole Yap weighs it up.

T

his decade, the Noughties, has consisted of many different types of music, some controversial and some you just can’t help but sing along to. The more modern music nowadays can be hit and miss sometimes, some are catchy and some are cringeworthy but it seems to me that the more, die a little bit inside songs are the ones that are getting more attention.

What happened to the old music? The musical classics and unforgettable lyrics are being put aside and replaced by artists that sing only with the help of auto tune. Artists that sing lyrics which have no meaning or depth.

I can admit some of the artists in this decade are amazing and actually create good music and they can write their own lyrics, but have people forgotten about

the iconic artists from years ago?

Bands like Nirvana, Queen and The Beatles, I could be here for days naming these artists, who all have an amazing talent. These artists aren’t being remembered today, and it goes to show that music has changed rapidly throughout the years and its still changing very quickly!

Take for example Korea’s biggest selling artist these days, Psy. Psy’s claim to fame is his worldwide hit, ‘Gangnam Style’. His video, I can admit is very amusing but the song itself isn’t even in English and it has reached one billion views on YouTube. A song whose lyrics and meaning are missed by practically its entire audience… This song isn’t, in my opinion, even as half as good as ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, a musical master-piece.

Why is this song receiving

Today’s Music Nicole Yap isn’t the only writer who has a distain for the popular music of today, Denis Savage agrees…

I

pride myself on my ability to be able to listen to all types of music. Whether it be rock, dubstep or classical. I have no qualms listening to most genres. Except one. That genre is pop.

A genre that has been the bane of my life.

I’m unsure when my “problem” with Pop begun, but I have had a huge antipathy towards it for most my teenage life. Perhaps, I enjoy the role of pointing out, “that the emperor has no clothes”.

Perhaps I wanted to be different. Or perhaps I just have a low threshold for rubbish, but I am somewhat skeptical of identifying just one reason.

For me, there is a multitude

of reasons as to why I must prevent myself from becoming sick or violent each time I hear the wail, that is today’s pop music.

For me, music should be place of refuge. A place in which you can go into a daze, escape the world around you or experience an aural orgasm. An effect lacking in most of today’s pop music. Instead of going into a place of serenity, you are given songs that almost induce a seizure. Furthermore, look at the lyrics in most of today’s pop songs. Now compare and contrast those lyrics to the “dope” rhymes found in any 90s rap song.

Compare those lyrics to that

a surplus amount of views each day on YouTube? It has conquered every dance-floor throughout the nation.

I personally favour a good old fashioned power balled whilst out on the town, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson stills kills the dance-floor

the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s and compare and contrast with the newer music. Let’s put aside the clone like artists with gold teeth empty lyrics for at least a few minutes of the day and let’s relive the iconic music that’s lasted.

Let’s not forget where the

5 minutes with: Cave Ghosts Ruth Ni Leannachain

I and at least we relate to the lyrics to his songs.

We need to value the oldies and appreciate them more, but it’s not all about ignoring the new either. I believe we can keep a balance between both So download music from

real music came from and get out there and scream a power balled with friends on a night out!

of Rage against the Machine, Manic Street Preachers, The Smiths, the list is endless.

All these bands produce in possibly one song, more meaningful content than any of Today’s pop “stars” will produce in their whole music career.

Granted, I have been known to occasionally enjoy the odd Pop song or two, it’s the exception rather than the norm. This “enjoyment” is also more susceptible to occur in a state induced by alcohol. I can certainly see somewhat of the appeal of some of the songs. How could you not? Advertising 101, put a catchy jingle into it, and the masses will consume it. Yet just because something is popular it is in no way a true reflection to the caliber of a musician that person is. Something that is further proved by the vast amounts of auto tune used in today’s music. Nothing is

more intimate, more spectacular than hearing a fantastic musician live in a small environment. The delightful sound of his fingers as they stroke the guitar strings. The quiver in her voice as she holds a high note for the one joyous moment longer.

Yet this delight, is slowly but surely dying out and being replaced by the sound of dogs wailing and sounds akin to a nuclear plant malfunctioning.

Perhaps I’m biased. As I said, for as long as my courtship with music has existed, so too has my hatred towards Pop. I’ve no hatred to those who enjoy pop. Each to their own, I have however nothing but the highest disgust for those behind such an evil scheme. A device that not even the worst of the bad Bond Villains would conjure up. Ultimately all I can say is open your eyes.

Photo courtesy of Sharenator

know you’ve all been members of a few prominent Irish bands already but can you give an insight into how you all got together in this line-up?

We met on thumped.com, which seems insane but I really feel like it was meant to be, we were complete strangers we were all out of our comfort zones with this too. Enda is primarily a drummer, and Connor’s a guitarist, so they swapped instruments for the project.

Your music has been linked to artists like Beach House and Best Coast, were they big inspirations?

Victoria Legrand and Bethany Cosentino are both great female songwriters and musicians and were definitely inspiration for us to get out there. It’s nice to have a modern female front-women to look up to. I think we’d cite The Beach Boys as our biggest influence though.

Tell us about your upcoming gig?

It’ll be our first gig outside Dublin, and Cork has always been such an incredible city for music. I lived, studied music and played in a band in Cork for years, so I’m really looking forward to seeing some familiar faces.

Finally what are your plans for 2013?

Our main goal is to play a tonne of gigs, keep writing songs and after that we hope to release a single or EP this side of the summer.

Cave Ghosts play for free downstairs in The Pavilion on January 24th.

January 15th, 2013

08 | Arts & Literature

Frankie says relax!

It’s just a joke, after all. Julie Daunt reviews Frankie Boyle’s recent (and possibly last) comedy tour.

P

aedophiles, Michael Jackson, masturbating, sex, violence, drinking, Peter Kay and Scotland. These are just a few of the topics covered by notorious comedian Frankie Boyle on his The Last Days of Sodom tour which came to the Cork Opera House on December 9th. The moment the Glaswegian walked onto the stage, he held back no punches. No topic was left safely untouched. This tour was apparently Frankie’s last circuit as he is retiring from comedy to spend more time with his family. However, he also said that the last time in 2010 after his “I Would Happily Punch Every One of You in

the Face” tour. I personally don’t think it’ll be his last.

However, if this is to be the last time the Scot will grace our stages, then he certainly went out with a bang.

The show was supported by Canadian comedian Craig Campbell and with Frankie headlining the show he had his work cut out for him. However, after a slightly unenthusiastic start, he found his stride and soon had us laughing at every word he said. While his jokes did not have the same wit and sharpness as Frankie’s one-liners, Campbell’s brand of comedy consisted of recalling his childhood and Halloween in Canada, taking mushrooms for the

first time and getting off on the side of an Alaskan mountain. Boyle is a tough act to compete with, but I think Campbell held his ground. He was certainly more animated than Boyle and I think the two complemented each other well.

When Frankie finally appeared, he immediately ridiculed members of the front row (thankfully I was sitting in the back - with my pink hair, I would have been an easy target!). He then launched into attacks on Channel 4, the BBC and Peter Kay. Within moments he had me watching the show through my hands and believing I was going to hell for laughing at his jokes. Some of his longer gags consisted of Michael Jackson’s Children’s Hospital, where Frankie pretended to be a heavily drugged up Jackson gruffly talking about the proposed hospital and its “benefits”.

He discussed the Olympics and the torch passing through Glasgow “which was followed by a heroin addict carrying a giant spoon”.

One thing I noticed throughout Frankie’s performance was how many of his jokes revolved about his recent controversies, such as his court case against the Daily Mirror, his comment about Harvey Price and his alleged tax evasion.

In mentioning these topics, Frankie appeared to be almost defending himself. He kept saying how his jokes were just “what ifs” and scenarios that weren’t real and shouldn’t be taken so seriously. He stated he had strong political beliefs, how he was completely anti-war and how he was felt his comedy should make light of the facts and failings of the government. His defensive comments made me see something that I never

thought I’d see in Frankie Boyle: a touch of humanity, that the cut-throat comedian is really human and has a heart beneath his acerbic persona. He showed he had emotion and that he is affected by what others and the papers say about him.

Overall, I expected to be completely shocked

by Frankie’s performance and the comedian certainly lived up to this expectation.

However, I also left feeling sympathetic towards him.

While his comedy may be regarded as too repulsive and too far for many people, I believe that that is the point of it. Frankie deliberately goes against the grain to make his opinions known. As Frankie argued, perhaps the world has become too serious, censored and safe. Perhaps we need to be taken out of our comfort zone and see the funny side to life again.

An Everyday Genius Ellen Desmond turns the spotlight on Ireland’s most renowned stained glass artist, Harry Clarke.

I

t often happens that we’re lucky enough to have a masterpiece on our doorstep and not realise it or that we become so accustomed to its presence that we forget what it means and how much it’s really worth. Harry Clarke’s stained-glass windows in UCC’s Honan Chapel are renowned gems of the Irish art world right here on campus and we walk past them nearly every day, often without so much as a second thought. Yet for the artist Harry Clarke, the works in the Honan saw a milestone in his career, establishing his reputation and leading to many of the works he was soon afterwards commissioned for.

Clarke is noted for the rich use of primary colour in his stained glass works,

which when combined with his signature heavilystylised and unique characters, set him miles apart from other stained-glass artists if the time. It is interesting to observe how these bright and intense colours led to quite dark works. An influence of Art Nouveau, French Symbolism and Art Deco, as well as the use of classic Celtic symbols, can be seen in his wonderfully fresh and original style. Whether or not you’re interested in art, if you’ve seen one Harry Clarke piece you’ll most likely be able to recognise another, yet somehow his works are all very different.

Clarke’s glass pieces often over shadow his amazing work in illustration, which in my opinion are even more impressive.

He worked as an illustrator for Hans Christian Anderson and Edgar Allen Poe, among others and the level of detail he incorporated into each individual work is incomprehensible when one stops to consider that these were done by hand in ink. He was a meticulous worker and every minute detail is catered for in any illustration I’ve ever seen by him. A small room on the top floor of Cork’s Crawford Art Gallery has been given over to a collection of these illustrations, as is the occasional display in the National Gallery. These are more than worth a visit as a close-up inspection is the only thing that can truly do them justice.

Clarke is unusual too for the level of diversity in the content of his work. It is

rare that one artist dives so far into both the religious and fantastical genres. It is rarer still that he managed to carry his dark style across two such different sides of the genre scale.

Clarke succeeded in working his almost Tim Burton and gothic-in-the-modernsense style of imagery into churches and having it appreciated by the highly religious people of an extremely conservative period in history. Clarke’s pieces in my opinion show that art can be for anyone; this is perhaps symbolically reflected by his stained-glass windows of Bewley’s café in Dublin. These are seen and appreciated every day by the average caffeine consumer, not just visitors at an art gallery or tourists in a chapel.

Unfortunately, Clarke’s life was cut short and he died in his prime due to tuberculosis. Many historians today claim that the level of toxic chemicals involved in the stained-glass making process led to the illness and that his incessant workaholic personality combined with his constant sickly nature ultimately led to his own downfall. Whatever the case, we are lucky to be left with an immense body of phenomenal artworks that Clarke managed to pack into a very short lifetime. If you’re not pushed about going to either of the galleries at least have a quick sconce towards the windows of the Honan the next time you’re passing - you won’t regret it.

January 15th, 2013

Arts & Literature | 09

Turning Over a New Leaf Julie Daunt takes a look at some of the most anticipated books to be published in 2013.

2

013 is to be a promising year for new publications. From anticipated posthumous releases to epic series finales, there are plenty of books to keep you occupied until 2014. This year is all about vampires, magic, love, travel and childhood.

Forums are buzzing with anticipation for the release of many books this year so I’ve given a short list of the ones that these forums are talking about the most.

Why don’t you pick up one of these books to help kick start your year and see what all the fuss is about?

Searching for Zion by Emily Raboteau (January): After nearly a decade in the making, Emily Raboteau’s novel takes readers on a quest for a place to call “home”. Whilst also embarking on a personal journey, the author also investigates other people’s search for the Promised Land. Raboteau was 23 when this was written and, being biracial, she never really felt at home anywhere. However, due to her African-American roots, she sets off in search of Zion. Her journey took her across the world to Jamaica, Ethiopia, Ghana and the American South where she found different perspectives and experiences of Zion. Overall Raboteau’s book gives a new meaning to the word “home”.

Indigo Spell by Richelle Mead (February): The first on this short list of upcoming novels is featured on nearly every single ‘mustreads of 2013’ list. Continuing the Bloodline series of fiction, which is a

spin-off of Mead’s Vampire Academy series, this novel will be the third instalment in the vampire tale. Forget your Twilight, this book is tipped to be the hottest read of 2013. So if you love anything vampire, romance, magic and witchcraft related, this is the book for you.

My Brother’s Book by Maurice Sendak (February): From the writer who brought you Where the Wild Things Are, this is the final book by Maurice Sendak, who died in May of last year. Influenced by the likes of William Shakespeare and William Blake, this book is dedicated to his brother Jack who inspired Sendak’s drawings and writings. Featuring Sendak’s poignant poetry and illustrations, this book will continue on the legacy of this outstanding writer.

If you loved his books as a child, then you’ll find this one moving, poignant and memorable.

Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare (March): Another book included on every hottest release list of 2013, Clockwork Princess sees the end of The Infernal Devices trilogy. Set in Victorian England, this is another series which features vampires, fairies werewolves and other mystical and magical beings. Following the story of protagonist Tessa, this book sees Tessa having to make a choice between the two boys she loves, while also trying to stop the Clockwork Army.

This book is set to be the climatic ending to the fantastical series.

Entwined to You by Sylvia Day (May): Forget your E.L James and Fifty Shades, Sylvia Day is the writer of erotic fiction to watch. This is the final instalment in her Crossfire series, with her earlier books Bared to You and Reflected in You being among the bestselling e-books of 2012. In fact, her second book became Penguin’s most successful ever e-book after it had an overwhelming amount of presale orders. While this series was still trumped by the Fifty Shades series in terms of sales, Day’s writing style and storyline is far better than her rivalling trilogy. If you did read Fifty Shades (and I know more people did then they’d like to admit!) then you should definitely check out this series, and the most anticipated final chapter in this romantic trilogy.

Doctor Sleep by Stephen King (September): Last, but not least, a book that has been in the waiting since the publication of its prequel The Shining in 1977. This book will pick up from The Shining and will follow the life of Danny, Jack’s son and holder of “the Shining”. Danny, now in his 40s, works as an orderly in a hospice for the terminally ill and helps those with his special powers. This book is set to be just as thrilling as its predecessor. Even if you haven’t read The Shining and have only seen the film adaptation, this book will still blow you away. After over thirty years in the pipeline, hopefully this book will live up to all its expectations.

Self-Publishing The New Frontline Kieran Murphy examines how self-publishing is changing the world of writing.

S

elf-publishing has always been around but was seen more of an indulgence rather than a legitimate path into the world of writing. The companies that printed them were even called “vanity presses”.

However companies like Lulu and Amazon’s CreateSpace have changed the face of publishing forever.

While it’s not only the rise of e-readers and tablets that have given way to more selfpublished books becoming more popular, it’s the rise of Print on Demand, where your book is only printed if its ordered, that has resulted in an increase in writers getting involved. With an instant marketplace and minimal costs for a book, more and more writers are taking the plunge.

One such writer is Corkbased Catherine Ryan-Howard who runs a successful blog, Catherine Caffeinated (www.catherineryanhoward.com), on self-publishing (or self-printing as she prefers to call it). Catherine has published five separate nonfiction titles and has sold more than 18,000 books.

Catherine’s most popular title is Mousetrapped, a book detailing her experiences of working in Disney World, Florida. Catherine had originally approached agents with this book and got close to being published, but after the final rejection she discovered Print on Demand and the rest is history.

The reason provided for her book, Mousetrapped, not being published via the traditional route was because the agent felt that there was no market for it, which was eventually proved wrong.

This just goes to show how self-publishing can play to a niche audience. Whilst it may be difficult to walk into Waterstones and pick

up books on paranormal erotica, all it takes is a quick search on Amazon and 99c to download.

Ebooks in general have given a rise to more selfpublished success stories.

Amazon reports that ebooks now outsell physical books at a rate of 115 to 100. It’s reported that 130,000 tablets were sold in Ireland in 2011 and with everything from a computer to smartphone able to read ebooks, the audience is certainly there.

Many self-published writers do not stay self-published. Many just use it as a gateway to being signed and to reach a bigger audience. Catherine Ryan-Howard has stated that she still wants to be published. Another example is American author Cora Carmack who published her book, Losing It, for Kindle in 2012. Within four days it had sold 5,000 copies and within twelve it had sold 32,000 copies placing it in eighteenth position on the New York Times bestseller list. Since then she’s been signed to HarperCollins for a three-book deal.

Self-publishing is no longer the dirty word that it once used to be. People now view it as a legitimate way to get a leg up in the world of writing or even as a whole career on its own. While most selfpublished books only sell 100 to 150 copies in their lifetime, those writers with a quality book will be more successful than this. While no self-published book has been met with solid critical acclaim, many have become notorious in the media and society. Whether or not the readers or the critics view self-publishing as a legitimate form for the industry, it’s certainly making waves.

January 15th, 2013

10 | Gaming

2013: The Year in Games (...well, the first half anyway) Ammar Suhail takes a look ahead at the big releases in 2013.

W

ith a surprisingly good year in gaming behind us, it’s time to look to the future and see what 2013 holds for us. Breaking from the annual pattern, this year actually has most of its anticipated releases in the first half of the year. There better be some announcements at E3 because at the moment we won’t have anything to play around the holidays next year on our brand new consoles. So without further ado let us go through the most anticipated games for the first two quarters of 2013.

January: DMC: The newest entry in the hack and slash giant that is the Devil May Cry franchise. It ditches the goofiness of the previous entries for a more serious tone.

Being the first Capcom game to be developed outside of Japan, its Western influences are apparent but it is yet to be seen if they are to the games detriment or advantage.

Those who can’t wait to take the new Dante for a spin can download the demo now from Xbox Live and PSN.

February: Dead Space 3: The third instalment of Isaac’s journey will be making its debut in February. The acclaimed survival horror set in space is poised to be the next Resident Evil (I mean when RE was good). However adding a co-op partner does seem to take away from the scares a bit but the talented team at Visceral seem to be doing a good job so far and insist that it won’t detract from the atmosphere. I recommend an extra set of pants if you’re going to get this one.

Crysis 3: The Crysis franchise may not be the rig killer as it once was but that doesn’t mean it’s ugly. The newest entry in the series will be hitting the consoles as well as PC with some updated graphics and some interesting new multiplayer options. If you’re a fan of the franchise or like first person shooters prepare to don the nanosuit once more and rip through the urban jungle of New York.

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time: The master thief and his team of lovable bandits make their long awaited debut on the PS3 and Vita. This is one for all ages. Everyone from young kids to the most grizzled of gamers will be able to enjoy this one it seems. With three p l a y a b l e characters and visits to different eras throughout history, Sly plans to make his return to our consoles a triumphant success. Be sure keep an eye out for this one, unless you have an Xbox.

Aliens: Colonial Marines: An official sequel to the movies, this first person shooter has been raising eyebrows since it was first announced. Its development has not been the smoothest with some delays but from what I’ve seen the finished product seems pretty good. If you want to shoot some face huggers without being face hugged this is the way to do it.

Metal Gear Rising:

Revengance: Just because the title is stupid doesn’t mean the game is going to be.

Developed more by Platinum G a m e s (famous for their work on Bayonetta) than Kojima’s team, it’s had a difficult birth.

The first Metal Gear game to grace the 360, it sheds its stealth roots to become an action game. Don’t let that put you off though, the game is looking amazing and I for one can’t wait to take control of cyborg Raiden and carve up some henchmen, in slow mo, with a lightening katana. And to be fair, who doesn’t want to?

Rayman Legends: Perhaps the first must have game for the Wii U, this platformer from Ubisoft was one of the games that impressed me most at E3. Boasting new characters, asymmetric gameplay, a beautiful art style and some of the best platforming you will ever come across, this is the game all Wii U owners have been waiting for.

March: Tomb Raider: Lara Croft makes her much anticipated return in 2013 sporting a new gritty, realistic look and some pretty cool looking gameplay. Gone are the oversized breasts of Lara’s past as she’s replaced with a hapless young girl trying to survive on an island filled with wild animals, treacherous terrain and some pretty angry natives. The game show the transition of Lara from the helpless college student to the formidable treasure hunter she came to be. Being shipwrecked never looked this good.

God of War: Ascension: Kratos returns yet again for another bloody rampage through ancient Greek mythology. This time it’s a

prequel showing how Kratos escaped from the clutches of Aries to become his own man once again. Brutal as it is epic, the GOW series has defined the PlayStation brand to quite an extent. And with the addition of multiplayer, this entry to the series is bringing something very new and exciting to the table. Unleash your wrath on the Furies and show ‘em what the soon to be god of war is capable of.

Gears of War: Judgement: If you were a bit depressed hearing about all the Playstation exclusives on this list here is something to cheer you up. Set in the early days of the Locust war, the story follows fan favourite Baird as he and his squad are accused of treason. With

solid gameplay, story and some new multiplayer modes it’s hard to think of a reason not to pick this one up if you have a 360 (unless you’re broke which, seeing as you’re probably a student, is very possible).

Bioshock Infinite: Perhaps the most visually striking game on this list, the third instalment in the Bioshock series is looking more and more amazing with every piece of media released for it. Take control of former Pinkerton Agent, Booker DeWitt as you shoot your way through the floating city of Columbia with the help of Elizabeth and her supernatural powers. Drink tonics to gain new powers and see some of the most imaginative enemies in the industry today. The Songbird will send chills down your spine.

April: Injustice: Gods Among Us: The age old question is...who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?

Thanks to the team behind the latest rendition of Mortal Kombat we will finally know the answer. Take control of heroes and villains in the DC universe and use them to bash each other to oblivion. With deep gameplay and an impressive visual style, this is a must buy for fans of fighting games and/ or comics. Ed Boon and his friends know how to make a good fighting game and have ditched the hyper violence of Mortal Kombat in favour of a more over the top action movie style.

May: The Last of Us: Another Playstation exclusive makes the list. Perhaps the most anticipated game of 2013, Naughty Dog’s latest project puts us in the shoes of apocalypse survivors Joel and Ellie.

Seriously, if you haven’t seen this game drop whatever it is you’re doing and go look it up. With very realistic stealth gameplay from what we’ve seen so far and fascinating mechanics such as resource conservation and having to construct items ingame not just a pause menu.

If you have a PS3, you owe it to yourself and your machine to get this game. I’ve yet to play a bad game made by Naughty Dog and I’ll eat my hat if this is the first.

There are many games that didn’t make the list to don’t get upset if your favourite isn’t there. These dates are also subject to change as games often get delayed. As crowded as the first half of the year is we’ll have to cross our fingers and hope the second half gets some more games because as it is now, there isn’t anything there besides crickets.

January 15th, 2013

Gaming | 11

Sales, Sales, Sales! (Featuring The Binding of Isaac) Joann Kelleher discusses the wonderful world of Steam insane sales and her latest craze.

O

nce again, the lovely people at Valve have decided to tempt gamers everywhere by doing their annual Steam Christmas sale, where almost all games are reduced drastically in price, to the point where it seems silly. Many fans of the company dread the sales and their fund-sapping powers, knowing that resistance is futile. This year, I made

a small mistake - I picked up The Binding of Isaac (with The Wrath of the Lamb DLC). It may very well be the start of a new obsession!

Isaac is a wonderfully simple and frustrating game. You control Isaac, a boy running from his homicidal mother through a seemingly boundless basement filled with enemies. For a supposed storage area of the house, it’s surprisingly difficult to move through.

The general rule of thumb is that if it moves, it wants to kill you. Each ‘run’ is different thanks to the levels being randomised each time. Specs aren’t a worry at all; the game itself could run on a potato.

While Isaac costs

€2.49 on its own, it’s worth getting the DLC (an extra €1.49) which provides tons of extra power ups, bosses and minibosses to make each adventure even more unique.

As for the rest of Steam’s sales, those new to the general chaos could do worse than start with the Valve Complete Pack.

With twenty five games that show the excellence of Steam’s stock (including both Portals, DOTA 2 and Counter-Strike: Source), the price should total €141.53. At the time of writing, you can pick up all of them for €45, meaning savings of nearly €100! Which reminds me of a comment a friend of mine once made; “Why aren’t you throwing your money at the screen?”

For those who just want to mess around with no actual goal in mind, Garry’s Mod is a brilliant time waster. An indie game (cliché at this stage) that

was released in 2010, it’s found a recent surge of popularity among gamers. It can be described as a more realistic version of Minecraft, with the option to build characters from scratch or just to use templates.

Screenshots are often hilarious - in less than an hour a friend had created Sonic trapped under a truck (he’s not that fond of SEGA). It’s now €4.99, though it may go down in price. Keep in mind, however, that it can crash when used in conjunction with other programs.

Although some of Steam’s sales have ended, many more

are still open. With Steam forever being unpredictable, they could end tomorrow or stay open for another six weeks. For now, I encourage readers to have a look at the software on offer and decide for themselves what they’d like to start with.

With items often being reduced by up to 75%, it certainly can’t hurt any student’s wallet.

Vigilante 8 vs Vigilante 8 Arcade Rob Shannon gets nostalgic over the 2008 XBLA remake of Vigilante 8.

N

owadays when someone mentions a video based around cars, one would automatically think of the racing genre like Need for Speed. But what if I said there was a time when car games were more like Tekken than Gran Turismo? It might sound odd, but from the mid to late 90s we were graced with titles whose sole purpose was to destroy your opponent’s vehicle. No finish line, no time limit, just utter mayhem.

1998 saw the release of a game that left all its predecessors in the dust: Vigilante 8. This one was a personal favourite.

Mindless driving and shooting that any eight year old would love, but also boasting better graphics, frame rate and friendlier control than its cousins; Destruction Derby and Twisted Metal. Then, ten years, two console generations and one sequel later, V8 was remade and re-released as Vigilante 8: Arcade for the Xbox 360. Excitement wasn’t the word.

Set in 1975 during an international oil crisis, the Oil Monopoly Alliance Regime (OMAR) is attempting to dominate the world by destroying America’s

oil reserves in order to bring the country to its knees. The destruction is carried out by the terrorist group The Coyotes, led

by Sid Burn. The eponymous Vigilantes, led by Convoy, try to defend a now lawless southwest America from OMAR’s plans.

Gameplay is simple, be it Quest, Arcade or Custom mode. You’re given a stage, a car and tonnes of power-ups. On top of your standard machine gun, your car can be outfitted with three more weapons. These include mines, rockets, homing missiles, mortars, autocannons or a special weapon unique to each car. At the expense of more ammunition, each weapon can be fired

with increased power by holding the fire button. There are also defensive power-ups such as shields, radar jammers and repairs. From there it’s really just drive, point and shoot.

While the story and gameplay remain similar between both games there have been noticeable changes to V8 Arcade. The original V8 had multiple objectives; destroy the opposing team and (depending on your faction) defend or destroy the target structures. V8 Arcade has now simplified this into just eliminating your opponents. It has been further simplified in that there are only eight playable characters in quest mode as opposed to thirteen in the

original. Likewise the story now progresses as text between missions rather than cut scenes.

There have also been some changes on a technical level.

Controls have evolved to suit contemporary shoulder button driving, although there is an option to switch back to the classic button layout. The new physics engine is most definitely the worst aspect of the game.

While the original V8’s level of vehicle control was smooth and dynamic, V8 Arcade feels sluggish and heavy. This oversight might have been forgivable if it weren’t for the smallest bumps sending cars to their vertical limits, making them also seem too light to have such poor handling. Graphics have obviously been improved, with some of the vehicles being modified or changed altogether.

However, there has been one extremely welcomed change: the Multiplayer. Back in the day the Playstation could normally only handle two player games. Even confined

to two people, Vigilante 8 was fantastic in either co-op or versus. V8 Arcade though has upped the ante. Now four people can play locally and up to eight online, making it not only an awesome night-in game and a bargain at four hundred Microsoft points.

Vigilante 8 was an unbeatable classic, and while V8 Arcade may not live up to the original it accomplishes what it set out to do: be a fun, nostalgic throwback for sentimental fools such as myself. Factoring that in with the economic cost and the exciting multiplayer I feel this game deserves a handy 7/10. Not quite what it was, but it brought back some good memories and more than worth the price.

January 15th, 2013

Food & Travel | 13

Go treat yourself Tommy Tobin recommends a few gems in Cork

T

O’Conaill’s Chocolates

F

Not Yet a Wagamaniac

here’s something about hot chocolates that just brings smiles to people’s faces. Whether it’s the warm aroma or the nostalgic memories, hot chocolate is quintessential comfort.

When it’s done right, hot chocolate can send you back in time, reminding you of good times past or holiday seasons just up ahead.

On cold days, hot chocolate offers a tasty treat that will warm you from the inside out.

O’Conaill’s Chocolate Shop in Cork City delivers a multi-sensory experience. Ranging from exotic flavours to familiar favourites, O’Conaill’s chocolate concoctions are like a liquid hug, giving you a delicious retreat from the daily routine.

When you step into the main Cork City location on French Church Street, you’re greeted by a cozy world of chocolate options. Whether you want chocolate bars, brownies, or beverages, O’Conaill’s can suit your chocolately desires. While there is often a queue to order, you can use this time to choose one of the many options and additions to make your hot chocolate your own. For me, the hazelnut praline and white chocolate offers a sweet release, packed with strong flavor and an unparalleled richness. For less sweetness, try the dark chocolates. The staff is helpful and can assist you in your chocolate decision-making process to find the flavour right for you.

As the temperatures fall, hot chocolate is one tasty way to keep warm. At under a fiver, it’s a great treat! You can get O’Conaill’s in Cork City at their two-story location on French Church Street or their shop on Princes Street.

or students, noodle soups can be a great meal. Instead of the dehydrated ramen noodles students may eat more often than they’d like, noodle soups offer big flavour and a filling meal. But they shouldn’t break the bank. Eating quality noodle soups should cost more than the packaged salt-laden noodle packs but doesn’t need to eat into your budget.

Enter Wagamama. Opened in 2005, this 112-seat eatery near Washington Street offers some tasty ramen noodle soups as well as other tasty pan-Asian dishes, such as gyoza. This chain restaurant does deliver some deliciousness, but it comes at a price.

In its favour, Wagamama has some good grub. The Wagamama ramen gives diners a bit of everything: salmon, fishcake, grilled chicken, mushroom, and tofu in amongst the delectable noodles and broth. For those looking for a bit more of a punch, try the Spicy Pork or Chili Ramen soups. Very respectable noodle soups for a night out but be prepared for the prices.

Even as Wagamama’s food is quite tasty, Wagamama’s open layout means there’s quite the din in the dining room. Further compounding the noise, the seating is communal with few if any private spots.

You might be sitting in the middle of a long table, with strangers sitting close to you on either side as you dine. While this arrangement contributes to the feel of the restaurant as chic yet casual, it took away from the dining experience for me, especially as the backless seating meant that long conversations may be uncomfortable for diners. All this makes Wagamama particularly unsuited for a date night but might be a fine place for a casual, if spendy, dinner out.

Then there are the prices. Put simply, the prices for the noodle soups and other mains are a bit beyond the normal student range for a dinner out. At €12-16 per soup, the prices are too high, even if the food is good. That said, there are cards floating around campus that offer Buy One Main Meal, Get Another Main Free promotion. I’ve used this each time I’ve gone and have been glad I have. The card turns a dinner out from an expensive night out to a reasonably-priced affair.

If you have the card and meet the qualifications, Wagamama is a great place to get your noodle on.

Otherwise, be prepared to shell out some euros for fare that delivers on taste but will put a hole in your wallet.

Stars: 5/5 Good For: Snack, Dessert, Chocolate

Stars: 3/5

“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.”

So says Jack Kerouac. Kevin O’Neill discusses an unfulfilled love of travel.

I

t’s only natural that when the turn of the year comes, the mind too will often take a turn. As professed by Features Editor Annie Hoey and Entertainment Editor Tracy Nyhan, these turns can take various forms. Weight loss, cleaner living, learning new languages and skills – mine was a far more simple one: clean my room. It wasn’t beyond repair, or even horrendously messy, I just have an awful habit of accumulating clutter and losing things as a result.

In the midst of this endeavour (which I can only describe as a frenzied blur akin to what, I imagine at least, veterans refer to when they imply that “you weren’t there, man…”), I came across a pair of shoes I hadn’t

worn in considerable time. The reason being that the sole of the left shoe had deteriorated to the point that light was pouring through. Before throwing these into the black bag alongside a host of old papers, receipts and packaging, I paused momentarily to reminisce on the role these shoes played in my life.

Midway through my second year in college, I was well and truly bitten by the travel bug. Having scarcely left Ireland prior to that point (a postLeaving Cert holiday that the Inbetweeners would’ve been proud of and a trip to Liverpool the exceptions to my eternity in Cork), I embarked on a transEuropean adventure that took in nine countries over five weeks.

Granted, one was a ten minute

bus excursion through Bosnia & Herzegovina, but they were the only ones to stamp my passport so it still counts!

It was an experience that shaped me as a person and one I have been itching to recreate since. The aforementioned shoes played a vital role in running for trains, traversing Berlin by foot, wandering to the complete opposite side of Prague to where our hostel was located and not realising until it was far, far too late to turn back and much more. It was with a heavy heart I condemned them to the rubbish bag, a figurative shutting the door on that chapter of my life, as it were.

However, it was at this point that I resolved to make more of 2013 than simply keeping my

room clean. Partly inspired by a battered pair of old shoes, partly inspired by the exodus from this country by family and friends to the Netherlands, Canada, Thailand, Australia, China, Poland and other exotic lands, I intend to endeavour to make 2013 the year in which I see more than the eleven countries I have already made a pit stop in.

Whether it is the famed temples of Angkorwat, the bustling megalopolis of Sydney, Los Angeles or London, the crystal blue shores of the Mediterranean, my itchy feet are eager to take me beyond the bounds of Cork City. This is not said in a “I can’t wait to get out of here” fashion, but rather in a manner that will bring a greater enjoyment of my current surroundings and

a greater understanding of others. Let me tell you, you’ll never quite be as grateful of being able to pick up a hot chicken roll in your local Spar until you’ve experienced the utter trauma of an entire city in lockdown because it’s Sunday.

I would encourage you to do the same – it’s an opportunity not afforded to many and if you can take it, do so. With the advent of cheap, last minute hostel, hotel and flight websites, as well as new phenomena such as couch surfing, it’s more realistic now than ever before to pack a bag, stroll out the door and see where you end up.

As Jack Kerouac said, “the road is life.” I suppose it’s time to start living.

January 15th, 2013

14 | Fashion

Dressing the Part Arts and Literature editor Julie Daunt takes a look inside the wardrobe of Hollywood in the latest V&A exhibition, Hollywood Costumes.

W

hen you think of any film, actor or actress, you often remember that one iconic dress or outfit. For example, Marilyn Monroe and her white cocktail dress worn in ‘The Seven Year Itch’. Audrey Hepburn and that black Givenchy dress from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Those black suits, skinny ties and Wayfarers worn by Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi in The Blues Brothers. Sasha Baron Cohen’s Borat colourful and dated suit. Those iconic costumes can often make or break a film. They are part of the film’s story and add to the characters’ persona. Film costumes and the stars that wear them (Clara Bow and Greta Garbo anyone?) can also inspire fashion trends (think Flashdance and legwarmers). Film costumes are an important part of the cinematic experience and this is why the Victoria and

Albert Museum in London has dedicated an entire exhibition to the greatest and most iconic costumes made over the past century.

The exhibition has over 100 of the most unforgettable costumes from films like Fight Club, Big Lebowski, Titanic and Wizard

of Oz spread across three large rooms. The way the costumes are displayed is innovative and really highlights the importance of the clothes. The costumes are displayed on mannequins, some with photographs of the stars above them, others with slow moving images of the stars faces on screens.

Each outfit comes with a small text behind the creation and inspiration behind the clothes. Some happen due to the medium of film, such as Dorothy’s red shoes in the Wizard of Oz. In the novel, the shoes are actually silver, but due to the Technicolor nature of the film, Adrian the designer decided to make the shoes red in order to stand out against the yellow brick road. Designers often try as hard as they can to create the authentic style from the period the film is set in. Again, for the Wizard of Oz, Adrian sourced a beat up old sewing machine that was typically used on a Kansas farm yard at the turn of

the century. This helped create the dropped stiches and patchy nature of Dorothy’s blue pinafore.

Through this exhibition you really begin to understand the time and effort costume designers put into those iconic clothes seen in films. You really see the lengths designers go to when they source the elements to a costume, from the baggy Big Lebowski dressing gown to the cane and worn shoes of Charlie Chaplin. You will recognise nearly every costume in this exhibition. I found some to be surprising, such as the costumes worn by Natalie Portman in Black Swan and Closer.

I didn’t realise how small and slight she was! Robert De Niro also gets a whole section to himself. You can really see how his method acting style even affects his appearance. His extremely slim Taxi Driver checked shirt and jeans stand next to his buffed up Raging Bull costume. There is also a sec-

tion entirely made up of the costumes worn in Shakespearean films and adaptations. The detail of the beadwork and trimmings on the costumes worn by the likes of Judi Dench in Shakespeare in Love are extraordinary.

The amount of costumes on display here means there something that everyone will want to look at. Even if you are not familiar with the particular film or character, you cannot help being astounded by the detail, effort and time put into make these timeless and iconic costumes. Each costume on display conjures up the character and the narrative of the film they were in.

It was amazing seeing the trend setting dresses and suits in the flesh. It was also great to see the process of costume making coming to life and the designer’s efforts being celebrated. Overall, this exhibition is a must for film-goers and fashion lovers.

January 15th, 2013

Fashion | 15

Get Your Tache Off! Have hipsters gone too far? Rachel Sullivan investigates the moustache trend

F

or anyone who has ever considered cutting out a felt moustache and pasting it across your fore-

head, or perhaps stapling a paper reproduction to your upper lip, please reconsider your intentions. The quiet creep of the moustache trend into the realm of insignificance was mildly acceptable, that is until intricate little handlebars began to appear on the likes of otherwise perfectly manicured nails. People do so, wait for it, with nail pens specifically tailored to creating miniature bundles of fa-

cial hair on your fingertips; as in, these pens are advertised specifically for this purpose.

One can overlook tendencies such as the superimposition of newspaper articles onto your cuticles; even the new ‘let’s paint delicate leopard prints across our faces in anticipation of a great night out’ fad but the moustache ‘thing’, and it can only be referred to as a ‘thing’, must be halted.

‘Taches, to which they are so fondly referred, have been deemed edible, wearable, stampable, tattooable and all the other ‘ables’ that wouldn’t even bear mentioning. Type in ‘How to..’ into Google’s search engine and you get suggestions like ‘make a moustache stamp out of an eraser’. Tattooing them onto the inside of your index finger in order to appear

witty and interesting is one thing; but having giant depictions of facial hair adorning your lower stomach, back or any other major body part for that matter is so far out of the realm of the ok that we can’t even pick it up on our moustache shaped radars.

Our favourite retail therapy haunts now offer moustache jewellery, moustache clutches, moustache print clothing and even packs of synthetic moustaches and moustache shaped plasters. We seem to forget that the moustache is, in fact, an entirely unattractive entity in reality. They attract the likes of milk and soup quite readily, and of course there’s the trademark sticky Guinness foam moustache that is usually sported by older gents. Why do good sane people then find them irresistible as items of bodily

adornment?

Now they’re not all bad.

Movember, formerly known as the month of November, is a great way to raise money and awareness, and is spread over the whole month. Now this kind of celebration of the moustache is brilliant and, actually fun. Sporting ‘taches of any kind in support of this cause cannot be condemned.

Men growing their facial hair in exchange for sponsorship should be applauded and supported and, by all means, go crazy, treat yourself to a moustache mug or a ‘tache shaped cookie cutter. Often you’ll find some of the proceeds will go to Movember’s cause during the month. But maybe ask yourself, outside of a cute set of moustache straws, do I really want to start collecting moustache memorabilia.

Wardrobe War Are your clothes overflowing in your wardrobe? Fashion Editor Kieran Murphy gives you quick and painless ways to reorganise yours

W

elcome back to college, I’m sure for the 2 weeks you’ve been at home that you’ve been studying hard and preparing yourself for the big move back to College Road from Ballincollig. However, more than likely this is isn’t the case and really you just threw anything and everything you could find into a suitcase and you’re now left with 4 pairs of Cantos and a ballgown to wear for the week.

Wardrobes can be messy creatures and without constant upheaval and organisation they can slowly take over your life. They’re filled with faded dreams, such as those jeans you fitted into when you were 15, and lost aspira-

tions, such as those jeans you hoped to fit into last summer.

However these fragments do nothing for your limited space in campus accommodation nor for your sanity and while it’s been written many times before you probably haven’t listened: get rid of these items to free up space.

Ball gowns and suits are essential items for every college student whether you have to have to ham it up at an SU event but these garments are not for everyday usage and take up unnecessary amounts of space in your wardrobe. To make those Hollister hoodies more easy to access take those items that you don’t wear everyday such as gowns, suits and winter coats and keep them in a box or even

your suitcase under a bed.

If you’re one of those people who go home every weekend you need an almost military sort of precision when dealing with your wardrobe, striking the right balance between home and college wardrobes. If you’re not paying attention you will end up at home with nothing but your communion dress to wear. So your weekly college wardrobe it’s best to have 6 t-shirts, 4 pairs of jeans and or skirts, 4 shirts, 4 jumpers/ hoodies, one outfit specifically for going out and a pair of tracksuit pants to for the morning after that night out.

Shoes count just as much when re-organising your wardrobe, the general policy is one to wear one to air so at

least have two pairs of shoes with you for college. If you have more than two pairs don’t leave them out on display like a weird hunting collection, get a plastic container to store your shoes in the top of your wardrobe. Better yet you can stick in a few tumble dryer sheets in there too to the shoes.

While college accommodation does in no way prepare you for life learning to deal with such a tiny wardrobe can prepare you for other things

in life, such as surviving in the wild or even leaving your house quickly to join the witness protection program. If not, think of the time you’ll save from washing all your clothes.

The New Corker

January 15th, 2013

New Corker | 17

Mystress

The Blight

Eoghan Lyng

Odran O Corcain

The anonymity of your name has stayed.

The scent of your time remains.

The things we spoke of reasonate.

The time I had; but was too late.

Repugnant thoughts of pastures gone.

Musical similarities that I hold on.

The perfumed glance, your passive smile.

Our gregargious night, an insatiable time.

But the night ended listlessly.

Happiness corrupted by reality.

My thoughts turned to loneliness.

Electrified by festival emptiness.

The pain grows stronger, watch it break.

Unnaturally loved with lots at stake.

My thoughts of love changed and grew.

Alas! How little it was to you.

When you remember the old tales Ancestors of our sacred land, Whose deeds forgotten, the ship slowly sails lost in the mists of time, tainted by today’s marauding band;

Rumbled Fish Eoghan Lyng Escape from those neon lights.

Open road ahead, land in sight.

Packing all my fears away.

Racing up the gears, come what may!

Driving with a solemn smile.

This wonderful world, flying mile after mile.

Deliriously high, accelerated rush.

Passing all feeling through obligatory touch.

Mind`s at ease from grassy hills.

Ecstactically cool, perpetually thrilled.

Speeding in time to a beat of a heart.

Song to the speed of a false start, false start.

Flash of light inside of head.

The sell out style that I have led.

Blood on hands from pained, stained glass.

Driving home`s a thankless task.

Thoughts of steel on this solid ground.

Neck in bits, flesh in pounds.

Roses placed on my broken neck.

Who could love a bitter mess?

forget not the spirit of noble men, and their sight ancient and simple wisdom forgotten, As families bleed and children starve, it creeps, the blight, misshapen creatures in black, gains ill-begotten The blight of the smoke filled chasms, cries and fearful whispers amidst the candlelight; the sickness, it infects the land beware for your children, beware the Blight Remember Finnegas, the salmon and leister Whose legacy rallied the lost amidst the foggy dew, Remember the hound, the Wolfe and the men of Easter So here’s to the heroes of old and of new, Sail back from the land of Lir throughout the land people will sing As we vanquish those in black and the saboteur, the bells of freedom in our souls shall ring But remember, forget not, your will, your voice because light, it shall fade, and Hades shall come in this life, and the next, remember your choice resist, or fall on your knees, forever undone So unite, take heart, never lose sight because, it never sleeps, it waits the Blight

Inspired by the Shed Kevin Anthony Gone are the days of Mercy, Of Forgiveness.

In their stead stays the pulsating heart of dissention walloping and lubbing and spreading slowly its disgusting blood Everywhere.

Like a filthy growth, it sequesters.

Like Poe’s yarn, it persists.

Unlike... no one cares.

But why?

It’s a tell-tale sign of something sinister.

We will soon see it soon enough.

18 | Photos

Food Science & Nutrition students at the inaugural UCC Foodies Society ball held at The Imperial Hotel south Mall last Thursday evening.

Photos: Siobhån Pho O’Connell.

January 15th, 2013

January 15th, 2013

Photos | 19

Students at the ‘Alice in Wonderland’ themed BIS Ball held at The Rochestown Park Hotel last week.

Photos: Emmet Curtin.

Students at UCC Intl.

Students Society night out last Friday in the Raven bar on South Main Street.

Photos: Emmet Curtin.

Contributors at UCC Fine Gael’s debate last Wednesday evening on the current controversy regarding abortion and the ‘X Case’.

Photos: Siobhán O’Connell.

20 | Sports

January 15th, 2013

Give homophobia the red card Kevin Galvin

D

on’t drop your soap in the shower’ was what my Geography teacher once said when we asked him about homosexuality.

While a kind-hearted man in his nature, he was a self-confessed homophobe and also the head coach of the rugby team, an unfortunate if coincidental combination. And though I respected him for being up-front about it, can you imagine someone who was openly racist in such a powerful position? You see, after the world gives itself a collective pat on the back for giving so much support to the Paralympics, soccer continues to ostracise those who are different in another way. Having battled with racism (a problem that’s been rearing its ugly head once more recently), sexism and politics; again football finds itself at the centre of a cultural problem that refuses to go away.

It is said that one in every ten people are homosexual, that is, are exclusively interested in their own gender. There are 92 league clubs in England, each with a squad of averagely 25. That’s 2300 players, so going by my rationale there should be 230 gay players in the top four divisions in England right? Now that indeed may well be the case, but the current number of openly gay players amongst these ranks is a big fat 0. As a matter of fact, not a single British player has come out as being gay since Justin Fashanu in 1990, and when one hears Fashanu’s story you can’t blame them!

Upon his arrival as a teenager, the black British midfielder lit up the scene with sumptuous skill and a wicked shot.

With Norwich he scored over 40 times which earned him the ‘honour’ of being the first million pound black player when bought by Brian Clough’s Nottingham Forest. Things didn’t work out at Forest though, and Clough described a disciplining he gave Fashanu for frequenting ‘poof ’s clubs’ (this slur was played down by then-Forest captain John McGovern). Unfortunately at this point things began to fizzle out for Justin, at which

stage he decided to come out.

Following the announcement, his own brother John refused to show his support and spoke out in a Sun headline entitled ‘John Fashanu: My Gay Brother is an Outcast’, he was also seen on TV criticizing his brother’s decision. Justin himself suffered the taunts of away supporters because of his own decision and stated that his own teammates used taunt him in a malicious way. Justin moved to America in 1997 where he retired, less than a year later allegations emerged that Fashanu had sexually assaulted a 17-year-old boy in Maryland. A once brilliant midfielder was found hung on May 3rd 1998. All charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

So after the most difficult decision of his life, Fashanu was outcasted by his family, taunted by supporters and team-mates, and eventually hung himself. It’s no surprise no footballers have come out since. What hope is there for young gay men who want to make the step up to professional game, or for current professionals who bear the burden everyday of being someone they’re not just to be accepted?

‘Always be yourself ’, what a load of tripe!

Moreover, there’s hardly a huge queue of straight players standing up for gay rights and paving the way forward. Due to football’s backward mentality any player who does so runs the risk of being labelled something they’re not by the media, and adding more fuel to the fire for opposing supporters. While the FA has launched a campaign against homophobia in football, it’s not nearly as prevalent as their current priority ‘respect the referee’. Why is this serious problem not a priority? Do the FA’s just think it will gradually get better over time with absolutely no input whatsoever?

In other sports athletes have come out and been entirely supported, even in our country, one of the most conservative in the Western World. Donal Óg’s coming out (along with increasing support for LGBT groups around the country) has no doubt proved to be an inspiration for some young people who feel afraid of doing the same,

his decision made even more admirable when one considers how unsupportive the GAA have been since. In another mainstream British sport, rugby, Welsh international Gareth Thomas came out in 2007 to the plaudits of fans, fellow players, and an entire nation. In both examples these players have proven to be an exceptional role

model for homosexual people of all ages to summon the courage to be who they are; why doesn’t the biggest, best, and most influential sport have the same? Especially when there’s been such good work done on a local level with LGBT clubs competing in leagues all over Ireland, while Limerick has applied for the ‘Gay Games’ in 2018!

While other sports have embraced those with a different orientation as they would any other, football predominantly still stands in the conservative time warp. It alienates, taunts and outcasts gays who have the courage to stand up for their rights, and straight or gay, that’s despicable.

Fixtures, Results, Standings Basketball Mens SuperLeague Cup quarterfinal Result: DCU Saints 72 UCC Demons 81 (S Coughlan 21, C O’Sullivan 15, K Walker 14) Semi-final Result: UCC Demons 71 Neptune 76 (K Walker 27, C O’Sullivan 17, S Coughlan 10, N O’Reilly 10) SuperLeague Results: UCC Demons 67 UCD Marian 64 (K Walker 27, N O’Reilly 12, C O’Sullivan 9) UCC Demons 68 Neptune 66 (K Walker 19, S Coughlan 18, C Cuff 16) UCD Marian 77 UCC Demons 78 (K Walker 24, C Cuff 15, N O’Reilly 13, C O’Sullivan 13) Fixture: Sat 19th Jan: Killester vs UCC Demons @ 6pm in the IWA Clontarf

Gaelic Football McGrath Cup quarter-final Result: Kerry 2-12 UCC 0-10 Hockey (Mens) Peard Cup semi-final Result: Harlequins 5 UCC 1 (A Gray) Munster League Division 1 Results: UCC 1 Church of Ireland 3 (F O’Leary) Harlequins B 2 UCC 9 (A Scannell 3, G Chambers 3, F O’Leary 2, S Power) Fixtures: Tue 8th Jan: Harlequins vs UCC @ 7pm in Farmers Cross Thu 17th Jan: Bandon vs UCC in Bandon Grammar School Sun 20th Jan: Bandon vs UCC in Bandon Grammar School Munster Senior Cup semi-final Fixture: Sat 19th Jan: Harlequins vs UCC in Farmers Cross Hockey (Ladies) Munster League Division 1 Result: UCC 1 Bandon 1 (E O’Leary) Munster Senior Cup quarter-final Result: UCC 2 Bandon 0 (E O’Leary,

M Crowley) Munster League Division 1 Fixtures: Tue 15th Jan: Ashton vs UCC in Ashton School Sat 26th Jan: Church of Ireland vs UCC in Garryduff Irish Senior Cup quarterfinal Fixture: Sat 19th Jan: UCC vs Ards in the Mardyke Hurling HE Fresher Hurling League final Result: UCC 1-20 Limerick IT 0-15 Senior Hurling Tournament Results: Tipperary 3-23 UCC 2-15, UCC 3-18 Waterford 1-23 Waterford Crystal Cup preliminary round / Canon O’Brien Trophy Fixture: Sat 19th Jan: UCC vs Cork @ 12pm in the Mardyke Rugby (Mens) All-Ireland League Division 2A Results: UCC 32 Seapoint 24 (S Óg Murphy 2 pens, 3 cons; J Ryan 2 tries; P McCabe, L Duffy both 1 try) Highfield 9 UCC 14 (S Óg Murphy 3 pens; K Stokes try) Crowley Cup Result: Cork Constitution 24 UCC 17 (G Collins try; Penalty try; I O’Donoghue 2 cons; K Kidney 1 pen) All-Ireland League Division 2A Fixtures: Sat 19th Jan: Old Wesley vs UCC @ 2.30pm in Donnybrook Sat 26th Jan: Cashel vs UCC @ 2.30pm in Spafield

Division Results: UCC 2 Midleton 1 (E Kilcommons, J O’Brien) Rockmount 0 UCC 3 (S Holland 2, E Kilcommons) Midleton 0 UCC 2 (Simon Holland 2)

Donie Forde Trophy quarter-final Result: CIT 0 UCC 2 Munster Senior League Premier Division Fixtures: Sat 19th Jan: UCC vs Avondale United @ 2pm in the Farm Sat 26th Jan: Mayfield United vs UCC in Mayfield Park Quarry Cup first round Draw: Computer Science vs Denis Coffey; BComm 3 vs Maths Science; Arts (Ross O’Sull) vs Arts 3 (Shane Galvin); Arts 3 (David Ryan) vs Colm Carroll; Comm 3 (Shane Cunningham) vs Finance (Ian Walsh); Acc/Finance vs Sports Studies 3; BP Economics vs Glen Gooley; Civ Eng 4 vs Geasley Unathletic; Comm (Rob Cullinane) vs Energy Eng 1; BIS (Emmet Creagan) vs Law 1; Stephen O’Callaghan vs Sports Studies 1; Arts (Sean O’Connor) vs Arts 2; Comm 4 vs Finance 2; Gov 3 vs International Students; BIS 1 and Med 2 get a bye to 2nd round.

All fixtures are subject to change.

Check out uccexpress. net for fixture changes, result updates and unpublished content.

Soccer (Mens) Munster Senior League Premier

January 15th, 2013

Sports | 21

UCC stars top of the Christmas tree Stephen Barry

W

hile the Christmas break provided a mid-season interval for the college’s top players, plenty of minds would have had an eye on the dawning New Year’s action throughout their holiday excesses. Certainly those among the senior soccer, rugby and ladies hockey ranks had both reason to celebrate and prepare anew as they bid to defend their top spots in their various league campaigns.

And while a good start is half the battle, the fight for April and May’s silverware is only just beginning to warm up.

Perhaps the stand out results from the December fare were those of the senior soccer team. Having played First Division football last season, the club returned to the Premier with a whimper and two early losses, to College Corinthians and Fermoy. However over the course of

the next four games College gained in confidence as the fixture list softened before increasing in difficulty into the month of December.

A 2-1 victory over top-half side Midleton was followed by a tricky away trip to MSL powerhouse Rockmount. But the challenge of the Whitechurch side was swept away in a stunning tidal wave of first half football, with Simon Holland’s brace helping UCC to turn their relentless dominance into a 3-0 half-time lead.

That was enough to see the college coast to the final whistle with the three points moving them into pole position over Christmas. However they have only a flimsy lead at this

juncture. College Corinthians have since moved level on points with their ‘feeder’ club with a game in hand and Avondale United, with three games less played, are within sight, only five off of the lead.

Avondale will resume as the perennial favourites but they will face a congested fixture list in the year ahead with so many games in hand and every cup competitions still within their grasp. The ambitious Corinthians stormed out of the blocks, but stumbled in the lead up to Christmas with a first loss of the year to the tricky also-rans Fermoy.

With a number of Cork City loanees on their books and the talented Gareth Cambridge recently signed from a somewhat disintegrating Rockmount, Corinthians challenge looks here to stay. However UCC have become the cat among the pigeons, their recent form has seen them ease up on the rails beside the favourites, and with College, Dale and Corinthians yet to meet, the

title may well be settled in those decisive contests.

It’s a somewhat similar story for the senior rugby side in Division 2A of the AIL, with the difference being that the college were considered among the favourites from the start given that they dropped down into this division based on a poor 2011/12 campaign. They also top the table with a game extra played, an aberration which will only be rectified in late March when UCC take a week off before their penultimate fixture of the season. And given how frustratingly inconsistent they have been, College will no doubt have plenty of thrills and spills between

now and mid-April.

Since the last issue they thrilled in a bonus point win against Seapoint before going unpunished for taking their foot off of the gas. Then, encouragingly, they gritted their teeth to see off their fifth-placed neighbours, Highfield, by 14 points to 9 in typically wintery conditions. Remarkably, given that it came at the halfway point of UCC’s season, that game was UCC’s first against a tophalf side. That means that the college will have only one ‘easier’ fixture against league minnows DLSP in their 2013 run-in, a run-in which ends with games against Banbridge (2nd), Corinthians (4th) and Terenure (3rd).

Those games will, barring any previous mishaps, decide whether UCC manage to secure a top-two place and a return to Division 1B. However the frustrating aspect of their season so far must be that their two losses came against weaker opponents Midleton and Queens. Both sides travelled to the Mardyke without a win, something which the benevolence of the hosts saw come to an end.

Strangely UCC had greatly underperformed at home until the Seapoint match, however this won’t worry the students for another month as they face trips to Old Wesley and Cashel in January. Both are decent opposition whom UCC should have the measure of; the one caveat being that neither have been beaten at home this season.

The ladies hockey team are the other notable candidates for major league success in the wake of their shock 3-1 victory over Catholic Institute. However while a home draw against Bandon secured them topspot over Christmas, in the long run it looks like being a point lost rather than two gained and Harlequins and Institute remained locked in behind UCC with games to spare.

(Photo: UCC in Crowley Cup action against Cork Con on St. Stephen’s Day)

Sport in Brief – Cork City and UCC become partners Stephen Barry Soccer: UCC have teamed up with Cork City, to provide scholarship opportunities to the club’s upand-coming stars who are awarded undergraduate positions in the college. In addition to this new partnership, the League of Ireland side will gain access to the Mardyke Arena’s Performance Laboratory which will help deliver fitness, strength and conditioning and player rehabilitation expertise. The four-year deal sees the Mardyke Arena become the club’s choice provider of Performance Analysis Services, with sponsorship rights and advertising opportunities granted to the college.

Fencing: At the 2012 Irish Open UCC fencers emerged with four bronze medals to their credit. In the women’s sabre Erin Barclay and Aoife O’Loughlin both picked up medals. O’Loughlin also reached the semifinals in the foil. Hugh Tobin completed the collection with his third place effort in the men’s sabre.

Hockey: At the annual universities’ Torneo de Reyes in Barcelona, held from the third to the seventh of January, UCC had a strong representation in the Irish Universities line-ups. Player/coach Andy Gray was accompanied by his UCC teammates Stuart O’Leary, Andrew Scannell, Peter Catchpole, Adam O’Callaghan and Fionn O’Leary. Meanwhile the women’s side sees Aine Curran, Antonia McGrath and Amy-Kate Trevor representing their college and country.

Scholarship awards: 80 sports scholarships, 14 player development awards and 20 Munster Council GAA Bursaries were handed out as UCC rewarded its elite athletes last month. The new UCC Sport 100 Scholarships were awarded to five top athletes with the Roy Keane Soccer Scholarship shared between Cathal Lordan, Andrew Neville and Lauren Murphy while Conor Lehane and Colm Spillane split the Michael J Dowling Hurling Scholarship. Basketball player Daniel O’Sullivan received the Jason Foley Memorial Scholarship, David O’Connell (rugby) and Megan O’Leary (Tae Kwon-do) were awarded the Jonathan Herlihy Scholarship and PSE Kinsale Energy Ltd. sponsored a scholarship for rugby player John Fitzgerald. Bank of Ireland provided three Fresher scholarships for Chris Mintern (Triathlon), Kate Moynihan (Sailing) and Alan Cadogan (Hurling and Gaelic Football).

18 sports clubs were recognised in all with first time appearances for ladies rugby (Alison Miller) and Tae Kwon-Do (O’Leary) while triathlon (Mintern) and orienteering (Josh O’Sullivan-Hourihan) returned to the awards. On the other hand badminton, showjumping, swimming, tennis and volleyball all disappeared from the list with Ian O’Rourke the only remaining golfing representative. The UCC hurlers were rewarded for their Fitzgibbon success with 18 scholarships between UCC and the Munster Council.

22 | Sports

January 15th, 2013

Three cheers for The Cups that Cheered Stephen Barry

A

lmost a year to the day following the launch of the history of sport in UCC, further light has been shed on the Leeside college’s famed GAA clubs in Dónal McAnallen’s extensive history of the Sigerson and Fitzgibbon competitions entitled “The Cups that Cheered” (The Collins Press). Yet as the title would suggest this tome of nearly 600 pages isn’t a merely stiff history written for similarly minded history boffins.

While McAnallen doesn’t leave any stone unturned in his successful bid to provide a thorough account of college GAA, he brings a lighter touch to his study topic; a touch which is enhanced by the beautiful design and frequent photos. Alongside every meticulous fact and figure are interesting titbits about the characters involved. Descriptions of games are distinguished by the disputes: the biased umpires; the eccentric referees; and the vigorous (and often vicious) play. And given that the host club was granted the right to

choose the referee for decades, it’s no wonder that the Sigerson developed an unwritten rule that nobody was allowed be sent-off.

As the title suggests, the author does his best to document the post-game antics of the participants too. Most notable from a UCC perspective were the drinks bill which almost led to the expulsion of some football club officials in 1943 until the sudden death of the college bursar and the subsequent ‘loss’ of the receipt and also the €3,000 of food lost to a food fight in the Metropole at the last-ever Sigerson banquet in 1986, which made national news and was condemned by the charity Concern.

McAnallen also seeks to reflect modern day debates in his analysis. The eligibility rules, which have recently hit the headlines yet again, are tracked from initial ignorance to the consequent flare-ups which have occurred habitually through the years.

He describes UCC as the most prominent accusers of foul play, albeit without being entirely innocent either, between the odd graduate and never-student lin-

ing out. He attributes a large portion of this to a Cork resentment of UCD, a resentment which was inflamed by UCD’s persistent use of part-time and evening students. However, as the author notes, at one point in the 1930s the UCC officials had become alarmingly prone to falling out with each other; for a time the hurling club ignored letters not written as Gaeilge and repeatedly warned the camogie club not to play on the Mardyke after 2pm on any day. It was in this decade that the club left the Fitzgibbon Cup at their hotel before a final against UCD in protest at their alleged ineligible players. Thankfully any further incident was avoided by UCC’s victory.

Indeed in the early days of three- and four-way competition, the different institutions emerge with their own stereotypical personas, perhaps along the lines of characters out of “Malcolm in the Middle:” UCD being the more talented, egotistical title character; UCG the slightly incompetent, basketcase Reese; UCC the jealous, pusher for equality Dewey; and Queens the new kid on the block

Jamie.

To further the comparison, for the first half-century the organising body’s bipolar parenting more resembled the leniency of Hal except for a few spectacular bursts of Lois-esque discipline.

In the 1954 Fitzgibbon, Galway supporters and players treated UCC to some retribution for their captain, Mickey Burke, who was hit by a Cork player in the previous year’s All-Ireland.

UCC lost seven players to injury during this All-Ireland ‘rematch’ in which one player was heard appeal that he was from Waterford and should escape the ven-

detta! A player mysteriously reported as ‘M. Burke’ scored three goals however Burke didn’t play in the final and ultimately the result was scratched due to the use of illegal players and retributive physicality.

However McAnallen takes on a more proactive role as a historian in considering the 1940 Fitzgibbon controversy. UCC emerged victorious however the Cork County Board declared three of their players ineligible under ‘The Ban.’ Croke Park withheld the medals, and seemingly the cup as well, however, over the years, UCC’s name has taken its place on the roll of honour. Yet McAnallen proposes that UCC’s name be deleted from that roll, in line with UCG’s 1954 removal.

But in spite of any parochial grievance at this amendment which reduces UCC’s total from 40 to 39, it is an indisputable claim that McAnallen has put together an utterly readable history which will equally satisfy and surprise both the casual footballer and the hurler on the ditch.

Hurlers get in gear for Fitzgibbon defence Stephen Barry Tipperary UCC

T

3-23 2-15

he second semester of college had yet to start as the UCC senior hurlers lined out in West Tipperary for a pre-season challenge against Tipperary on Sunday the 6th of January in Emly.

In their first game under new management, Tipperary only togged out fifteen players for the contest while UCC were without the services of Conor Lehane and Seamus Harnedy who were in county action, with Harnedy scoring six points in Cork’s win over CIT. Ultimately UCC weren’t able to cope with the sharp-shooting of the hosts, who stormed into an eight point lead by the twenty-fifth minute, 1-11 to 0-6.

Timmy Hammersley, who ended with 2-5, got the opportunistic but deserved goal for Tipperary as all of their midfielders and forwards, bar one, registered a score. Indeed it almost seemed to be that only Premier county natives were hurling well with James Barry and Dan McCormack the leading lights for the college.

It was Barry who kept Sean Curran and later Michael Heffernan both scoreless while on his wing, while in attack McCormack profited from Seamus Hennessy’s loose marking with two points and two frees to his credit. But the accuracy of McCormack and Paul Haughney wasn’t replicated across the board with Brendan Cummins claiming three short point-attempts from close in.

That was until the dying embers of the half when Tipperary began to take their foot off of the throttle in anticipation of the

half-time whistle. In this time UCC shot a quickfire 2-2 with Johnny Ryan’s point maintaining the minimum lead for Tipperary at the break. The hardworking Mark Sugrue started this run with two points before Brian O’Sullivan blasted to the net. Then in first-half stoppage time Haughney picked out a superb pass to the blindside run of Adrian Breen who found the far corner of the net.

But the game wouldn’t remain in the balance for long as Tipperary re-emerged keen to impress their dominance on the scoreboard. Hammersley, who seemed to score with his every touch, goaled almost straight away from a rebound as Tipperary took it up a notch.

However UCC could have stayed in the game but for their poor free-taking; Willie Griffin missed a pair in the first half before his replacement Jack Ahern missed his chance to re-

spond to Hammersley’s goal.

McCormack subsequently shot both sides of the goal with his attempts and by the time Ahern retook the responsibilities, the college were 3-19 to 2-11 behind after Shane Bourke’s goal.

Ahern’s four successes kept the margin at eleven, as Tipperary opened their year in style.

However UCC bounced back from that loss with a hardfought 3-18 to 1-23 win over Waterford on Sunday. This positive no doubt added to by UCC’s pre-Christmas Fresher League win over Limerick IT, with Alan Cadogan (0-5 from play) starring.

The path that UCC’s year will take was also finalised in December. In the Fitzgibbon group stages UCC will be favourites to emerge from a group containing two Galway opponents, NUIG and finals weekend hosts GMIT, as well as newcomers Mary Immaculate. In the Cork Coun-

ty championship, the college will have a chance for revenge against the side that knocked them out of last year’s competition, Avondhu.

Meanwhile the footballers will face Carbery in Cork this summer, but of more immediate concern will be their Sigerson first round tie against UUJ, which will be played at a neutral venue. Win, and they will be expected to face League runnersup St. Marys of Belfast, who must overcome IT Tralee to reach the last eight. UCC began their preparations on Sunday with an eight-point loss to Kerry in Killarney with Conor Cox top-scoring for the students.

Meanwhile the UCC ladies footballers will open their O’Connor Cup defence against Queens. The final of the O’Connor Cup will be televised live on TG4 for the first time in the tournament’s history.

January 15th, 2013

Sports | 23

Taylor wins the prize but Van Gerwen takes the plaudits Brian Barry

P

hil Taylor won his 16th World Darts Championship on New Year’s Day, beating Michael Van Gerwen 7-4 in a pulsating final. The Stoke-on-Trent man completed a Dutch double having overcome 5 time champ Raymond Van Barneveld in the semi-final.

Van Gerwen, who visited UCC last March having been invited by the college Darts Club, was the form player entering the competition, having been crowned champion of the Grand Prix in Dublin in October. ‘Mighty Mike’ was presented with a tricky path. Having overcome Paul Lim and Peter Wright in the opening rounds, he avoided a potential banana skin by hitting Colin Lloyd with a Tour de Force. This saw him through to his quarter-final showdown with reigning champion Adrian Lewis, who was hot in pursuit of a third consecutive title. What followed was magic.

The Dutch sensation showed courage and composure in what many view as one of the greatest darts matches ever seen.

That was the game in which we realised the Dutch prodigy had come of age. It took immense

composure to edge out Lewis 5-4, who was on an amazing run of 15 games unbeaten on the Alexandra Palace stage.

Cue the semi-final. We thought we had seen it all from MVG. But as if a fifth 9 dart finish in the history of the PDC World Championship wasn’t enough, he came agonisingly close to re-

fect legs being achieved in the match; they weren’t as confident afterwards, reducing the odds to just 25/1 for the final.

The Power had a more lowkey path to the final. Going into the tournament as slight favourite, he was feeling confident, saying that he was throwing better than ever on the practice

peating the feat in the following leg, missing the double 12 just on the wrong side of the wire.

Ladbrokes were offering odds of 50,000/1 for back to back per-

board. In contrast to MVG, Taylor plays the opponent rather than the board. He did enough to win each match, hitting the right doubles at the right times

while others were hitting averages which resembled telephone numbers in the opening rounds.

Working his way into the last 16 without any major hassle, he easily brushed Robert Thornton and Andy Hamilton aside without dropping a set.

But next up was Barney; a war of words broke out before the match, and it is clear that the Stoke-onTrent man came out on top, saying that if Van Barneveld was not afraid of him, he would have to make him fear him. Van Barneveld appeared dishevelled in the opening exchanges and didn’t settle into the game until it was all but lost at 5-1.

He rallied admirably but the 15time champion did enough to close out the match 6-4.

What happened next made all the headlines. Taylor failed

to come down off the tension of the match and shrugged off the Dutchman’s sporting handshake. The crowd clearly took Barney’s side on the matter.

The Power apologised in the aftermath: “I reacted disgracefully and I feel terrible… I’m ashamed because I really like Raymond but he hurt me a little bit, that was all it was… It was spur of the moment.”

Still it was the dream final for spectators. It was billed as ‘the greatest player in the world right now’ versus ‘the greatest player ever.’ The Power took a different approach in his mind-games in the run-up, suggesting that Van Gerwen was the greatest player he had ever seen. It failed to unsettle the young man who raced into leads of 2-0, then 4-2.

But the Dutch prodigy failed to close it out and cap off the best year of his life, as experience showed. Phil Taylor powered to a 7-4 win to take title number 16, but he surely knows that Van Gerwen will be back next year; stronger, wiser and with something to prove.

ous, footballing louts. Owners demand results that are just not realistic, and when things don’t go according to plan its hasta la vista baby. Such treatment is an insult to the great coaches we have grown to admire.

The touchline shenanigans of managers, including confrontations with the opposing side’s backroom staff and the haranguing of match officials will continue to entertain millions, notwithstanding its controversial derivative. It is essential to applaud the passion and emotion exuded by the game’s elite.

Whether it’s Wegener kicking a water bottle, Pardew pushing a referee or Mourinho seeking an Oscar nomination, the job description for a modern day foot-

ball manager offers something different to the other professions. A revelation in its essence, gaffers globally are strange creatures with the capabilities of surpassing the challenges that stand in their way, often achieving feats that appeared unreachable. If we deprive these unique individuals of their character, the shackles will begin to crumble in the Footballing Empire, revealing an austere and bleak picture of an unattractive offing.

Let’s not punish our most valuable assets. For without their leadership and guidance, the players we love to hate are nothing.

(Photo: World championship runner-up, Michael Van Gerwen on his visit to campus last year pictured with the UCC Darts Team)

Managing to stay in the headlines Dylan White

T

he festive period never fails to catch the imagination of the most cynical of pundits and punters alike.

Bloated bellies, intoxicated football grounds, bad refereeing decisions, widespread transfer speculation and the odd questionable team selection add to what is the best soap opera around. Managerial madness is never far from the playing surface, with the modern day gaffer seeking to hog the lime-light, putting himself in a league of his own, untouchable (if you’re Sir Alex Ferguson) by the rest.

The strategy behind success as a manager stems down to a

calculated logic.

Pre-match press conferences provide the forum for debate, acting as a dress rehearsal for the finest show in town. The stage is set and all the props are in place. We, the audience, become entwined in the drama unravelling before our very own eyes as Fergie chops and changes his star players.

On Boxing Day it was Robin Van Persie omitted, however the game itself was marred by a contentious decision on the part of referee Mike Dean, in his failure to report Sir Alex’s “demonstrative but not out of order” conduct throughout the game.

Critics, Geordies and RESPECT campaigners nationwide have blown the incident out of pro-

portion, with some managers suggesting that the FA is “afraid” to bear the brunt of the now elder statesman’s wrath.

Perhaps, it is justifiable to say that Manchester United’s enormous profile worldwide allows the club to be dragged into a vicious media circle that offers no release clause; the recent claims being that one rule applies to the United boss, and another to the vast majority. Surely this whirlwind effect has no place in football today, with many advocates calling for clarification on exactly how far is too far?

Isn’t it a wonder why mastermind tacticians such as Roberto Mancini continue to work above and beyond the call of duty, only to be scrutinised by overzeal-

SPORTS

15 January, 2013. Volume 20, Issue 08.

Omens good for Demons ahead of Cup rematch Kevin Galvin UCC Demons Neptune

I

68 66

n the dress-rehearsal for the much anticipated National Cup semi-final, an age-old rivalry was resumed between the UCC Demons and Neptune at a packed out Mardyke Arena. Having had a blistering start to the season, the Demons found themselves only four points ahead of their third-placed local rivals, and three behind league-leaders UL Eagles.

It mightn’t have been a cup semi, but there was a lot at stake!

The Demons were missing key players in the shape of Shane Duggan, Ciaran O’Sullivan and Niall Murphy.

Before the game Demons head coach Paul Kelleher stressed the importance of eradicating past mistakes in order to achieve the win they so desperately needed; yet in the end, it was Neptune’s early mistakes that ultimately cost them the game.

Darren Townes wriggled from a position under the bucket to swivel and lay the first two points of the game for Neptune. It was the away side playing with more intensity in the opening minutes, and they led by four halfway into the first quarter following two missed free-throws

by American Carlton Cuff, while his fellow countrymen Townes was impressing for

Neptune, with a huge rejection early in the game, and a silky dunk not long after.

Still though, the Demons aren’t the top side in the city for no reason, and when O’Reilly drained a three from the corner the scores were level. Neither side were impressing from the charity line, with Neptune’s Paul Walsh missing both tries following a foul from Demons’ captain Shane Coughlan.

Daniel O’Sullivan had no trouble with his aim though, draining a three from deep before Neptune captain Ger Noonan missed both his tries from the line, as the quarter finished 20-16 in favour of the home side.

As the second started Kenton Walker began to get himself into the game, scoring an athletic lay from the wrong side of the rim to cap off six points in two minutes. The Demons were most certainly the team in control, and led by ten points as Neptune called a timeout, unable to drain a single basket. The Demons were double-teaming everything on the perimeter, choking the Northsiders’ offence. Coughlan was leading from the front; he went coastto-coast, finishing with a lay and drawing a foul which he converted, extending the home side’s advantage to fifteen points. O’Reilly then finished a breakaway from yet another Neptune missed shot to leave the scores 41-24 in favour of the home side at half-time.

Coughlan picked up where he left off in the first half, smoking a long range three under considerable pressure, and increasing the gap to twenty points. Neptune were guilty of committing some inexcusable errors, throwing the ball away and losing important possession, but so were the Demons, giving up easy points in the paint as both sides began to look nervous. That said, the away side began to improve in the third, and had the lead cut to fourteen by the end of the quarter.

creeping into the Demons game though, Coughlan has the ball stolen off him by McGinn and returned for a twopointer, while O’Reilly had his pocket picked by Noonan which led to Townes cutting the lead two just two points.

Coughlan made up for his mistake though by a beautiful fade away two and foul which he duly converted to knock the wind out of Neptune’s sails.

With just over a minute to go, Neptune’s Noonan drew the foul, but away fans ago-

The fourth started at a hectic pace, with coast-to-coast action and both sides putting points on the board. A Townes lay-up cut the lead to ten, as Demons missed another chance and things heated up on and off the court. A Michael McGinn three-pointer left the gap at seven with eight minutes to play. Demons couldn’t buy a bucket as the away side narrowed the lead to five.

Walker was Demons’ saviour in the fourth, picking up a number of lays as well as playing very well off the glass in attack. The mistakes were

nised as the ball rolled out of the rim; he duly converted the two free-throws though to leave the deficit, once at twenty, down to just one.

With the shot clock gone, the deficit was still the same with Neptune in possession. Failing with their shot, both sets of players frantically tried to get their hands on the ball, and eventually the scrum saw the referees call a foul in favour of the home side, and lying on the ground triumphantly with the ball in his hand was Kenton Walker.

Walker then stepped up and drained the first free throw,

and McGinn couldn’t convert the buzzer beater for the away side to leave the Demons with a 2-0 record over their local rivals heading into the upcoming cup semi-final weekend.

So the Demons eventually got the win, but they did it the hard way! After the game coach Kelleher said that his side’s win was thanks to their experience coming down the stretch, particularly considering their absentees. He was also quick to point out that their focus was firmly on next week’s game against UCD Marian.

As for Neptune, despite the loss they will take an awful lot of confidence heading into their next matchup against their local rivals. Darren Townes was really showing some form heading into an important patch for the club, while tight defence really choked the Demons for the third quarter.

The scene is now set perfectly for January 11th at Neptune Stadium. Two points separated these sides in their last two meetings, and though Demons will be strengthened with the return of Duggan and company, the cup always brings surprise results. That makes up the first of the double header, and with the second featuring the two other college sides, UL Eagles and UCD Marian, it will be one of the biggest Cork sporting events in 2013.