UCC Express Vol 20 Issue 4

06 November, 2012. Volume 20, Issue 05.

College cutbacks to cost Cork economy €33m Stephen Barry

W

ith four weeks to go until Budget 2012, the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) has launched an innovative campaign which intends to localise and broaden the now annual campaign against an increase to college fees. As part of the ‘Fed up? Stand up’ campaign, the USI has revealed that the rising level of the student contribution and decrease in maintenance grants for UCC and CIT students could cost the local economy up to €33,157,630 over the next four years.

The new campaign represents a change of tack from the USI in reaction to the failure to reverse last year’s cuts on students. The aim of campaign is to get students to take ownership of the campaign with a month of local activism which will look to gain support from local public representatives as well as informing businesses of the effect of cuts on students.

A joint rally by the UCC and CIT Students Unions,

held on Monday, was the campaign’s first regional mobilisation of students. After gathering outside the Boole Library, the students marched to Jerry Buttimer’s constituency office on Glasheen Road to continue the protest.

Buttimer is one of thirty-

Cork’s two third-level institutions. It calculates the effect of the €250 increase to the student contribution and €59 cut to maintenance grants in this year, as well as plans to repeat these cutbacks on government spending year-on-year between now and 2015, with

public meeting in the Imperial Hotel on Thursday the 25th of October about the cost of college. President of the USI, John Logue commented: “These figures illustrate how cuts to the third level funding have a hugely detrimental effect on local economies. The hard-

two strategically selected TDs who the USI are targeting for lobbying activities through their affiliate college unions.

In UCC, the Students Union will also target Labour TD Ciarán Lynch as well as meeting up with other members of parliament to seek allies to their campaign.

The figure of over €33 million is based on current student numbers (18,578) in

fees set to increase to €3,000 and grants to drop by a further €177 in that timeframe. Maintenance grants have already been cut by 11% since the 2011 budget. In total, UCC students will suffer €25,056,550 of the net loss with 3,295 students in receipt of a maintenance grant and the remaining 9,283 paying full fees.

This announcement was discussed in further detail in a

ship caused by fee increases and grant cuts isn’t isolated to students and their families, it affects the entire community.

Landlords, shop owners and other business proprietors rely on these students to maintain a healthy turnover.”

In the words of, UCCSU Deputy President and Campaigns Officer, Sam Ryan “what the campaign is trying to do is show that students

are movers within the local economy. It looks like students could be worth on a yearly basis anything up to €10,000, sometimes even more.” Educationireland.ie quotes the average cost of putting a student through a year of college at €10,500.

Other campaign issues are the 39% unemployment rate among graduates under the age of 25 as well as the increase in the qualifying distance between a student’s home and their college to receive the non-adjacent maintenance rate from 24km to 45km made in Budget 2011.

Speaking in advance of Monday’s protest, Ryan added: “I think what we could show is students showing other students that there’s a fight here, and we could also send a message to Jerry Buttimer saying students aren’t going to take it lying down. It would be fantastic if Jerry Buttimer would go back to the parliamentary meeting and explain the kind of action that happened in Cork, because this is the first of all the USI actions.”

save up to Washington st. 021 4274555 Wilton Mccurtain st. 021 450 6666 Douglas

021 454 6666 021 489 5577

T&C: *At regular menu prices with up to 3 toppings. **Up to 3 toppings & must be same or smaller size. Available Monday to Thursday only. Please mention offer when ordering. Present voucher at time of purchase. Only available with valid student ID. Not valid with any other offer. Valid for a limited time only & at participating stores. Collection or delivery. €1 delivery charge per order. €2 delivery charge per order after 12 midnight.

02 | Editorials

November 06, 2012

The steepest of curves

Kevin O’Neill Editor-in-Chief

T

hese last few weeks have proven to be quite the learning curve for me. Upon taking this position, it seems I may have underestimated the severity of the workload and, while I am fortunate enough to count on a dedicated, enthusiastic and reliable team, the responsibility ultimately falls into my hands at the end of the day.

Such comes the pressures of the title of editor that I have fielded phone calls and emails from local and national media, the legal department of the University and the Students Union in a seemingly endless fashion over the last fortnight. Beyond that, there was a host of Facebook messages, Tweets and emails questioning the lack of distribution of issue 3 of the Express.

I have provided an explanation to those who contacted me, though it’s safe to say that the facts and the rumours have been juxtaposed in the meantime and the stories doing the rounds from all corners are, quite simply, untrue. Unfortunately, little can be done to dispel these inaccuracies and it is simply a matter of moving on to the next issue.

It was a shame to see the hard work go unrewarded

and to those who contributed and worked hard on the last issue, as well as those who looked forward to reading it, I apologise. Due to our move online, the articles printed in the previous issue have been available for two weeks on www.uccexpress.net, and with almost 4,500 views to date, quite a few those articles have gotten more views online than they would have had they been in print.

Though far from the ideal scenario to find ourselves in, it was pleasing to see the results of our hard work online. It is a reflection of the transformation of the media that we work so hard to bring you on a fortnightly basis that even when everything hits the fan that we can still deliver the fruits of our labour in an even more accessible fashion.

Changes throughout the institution of the Express are

common and we are undergoing quite a turbulent period over the last fortnight.

Our Music Editor Mike McGrath-Bryan has departed the paper, while Margaret Perry has joined our team as Deputy News Editor. The former position remains vacant at the time of print, should you be interested in taking on the mantle please contact me at editor@uccexpress.ie.

That goes across the board, in fact, that should you want to become involved in any capacity, or have any other questions or comments you can get in touch with me through that address or via the website.

We wouldn’t have made it to this point without the support of our readership and I thank you for sticking with us through this transition. Having found our feet, our next step is going to be an interesting one.

Suffragette City ered in part, by Stephen Barry in this issue and yesterday’s protest is reviewed online at www.uccexpress.net. It seems that these are times for action on a myriad of causes but that should not lead us to become apathetic towards action. Our vote and our voice are two of the most important gifts we possess and now, more than ever, we should seek to use them.

This Saturday, the Irish Audrey Ellard Walsh people are being given the Deputy and News Editor opportunity to have their say on the Constitution. The Children’s Rights Referent is a week for activism dum marks a bigger step it seems with a national forward for human rights in campaign of protests and Irish history than it may on demonstrations kicking off its face seem. Bestowing chilin Cork. The USI “Fed Up? dren with inalienable rights Stand Up!” Campaign is cov- would be a long overdue step

I

for our founding document and would make strong steps forward in the protection of some of this country’s most vulnerable.

Reporter Lorna Gardiner goes into greater detail as to what this referendum change will mean but it is now up to you to educate yourselves too. For the first time, in the history of the state, polls will open on a Saturday. This move to facilitate workers and students is certainly a step forward for democracy for our state and puts the onus squarely on voters to turn up and cast their ballots.

While, in my opinion, and indeed for every party of the Oireachtas, it seems like an easy decision to make, it is important that we do not

presume to know the result.

Seemingly “less controversial” Irish referenda have traditionally attracted lower levels of engagement but we should not accept any level of mandate for a constitutional change. Rather, we should aim for the strongest we can deliver. Bunreacht na hÉireann is the most important document that we have and yet on the day 51% of any turn-out will make the decision.

Decisions are made by those who show up. Therefore it is imperative that we read the literature and get out and vote for our preference, whatever it may be.

And as they say, vote early and often.

University College Cork Express Editor: Kevin O’Neill editor@uccexpress.ie Deputy Editor & News Editor: Audrey Ellard Walsh news@uccexpress.ie Deputy News Editor: Margaret Perry deputynews@uccexpress.ie Design Editor: Niamh Gunning layout@uccexpress.ie Photo Editor: Siobhan O’Connell photo@uccexpress.ie Features Editor: Annie Hoey features@uccexpress.ie Deputy Features Editor: Úna Farrell deputyfeatures@uccexpress.ie Entertainment Editor: Tracy Nyhan entertainment@uccexpress.ie Deputy Entertainment Editor: Jack Broughan deputyentertainment@uccexpress.ie Film & TV Editor: Kellie Morrissey screen@uccexpress.ie Arts & Literature Editor: Julie Daunt arts@uccexpress.ie Gaming Editor: Fergal Carroll gaming@uccexpress.ie Fashion Editor: Kieran Murphy fashion@uccexpress.ie Fiction Editor: Stephen Goulding newcorker@uccexpress.ie Sports Editor: Stephen Barry sport@uccexpress.ie Contributors: Barry Aldworth, Robert Joseph Bolton, Conor Breen, Nicole Clinton, Morgane Conaty, Paul Coulton, Ellen Desmond, Julia Frazer, Kevin Galvin, Lorna Gardiner, Annette Gilroy, Alan Goode, Una Hennessy, Denis Hurley, Bryan Lynch, Gavin Lynch-Frahill, Sam Marks, John Martin, Aine McLaughlin, Cathal Nally, Ruth Ni Linneachain, Ian O’Sullivan, Heather Twomey, Dylan White

News | 03

November 06, 2012

UCC Students Excel In Undergraduate Awards Audrey Ellard Walsh

U

CC has swept the board at the Undergraduate Awards, boasting seventeen “exceptional entries” in the Highly Commended category and three overall winners.

The Undergraduate Awards which was founded in 2008 by two Trinity College graduates, Oisin Hanrahan and Paddy Cosgrave, is an initiative “to celebrate students who propose fresh arguments and new approaches, providing undergraduate students with an opportunity to accelerate their ideas on a global platform.”

The Awards are open to final and penultimate year undergraduate students across Europe, North America, Asia and Australia who are invited to submit essays or projects that have received a high 2.1 or above and present fresh ideas and new arguments. The entries are then assessed by international academics as part of UA’s mission to identify and build a community around the world’s brightest students.

Jesse Harrington, a recent UCC graduate now studying in

the University of Cambridge is an overall winner in the Historical Studies & Archaeology category. His entry entitled “Conveying the Sacred: Expressions of Sacred Space and Sacred Time in the Scheme of Ardmore Cathedral”, is an essay which he prepared for a final year course on the history of religious art in the Middle Ages.

“My work was a study of the architectural and artistic scheme of the 12th-century Ardmore cathedral and its sculptures, as they would have been understood by the medieval viewer in terms of sacred time and space.

I argued that the biblical scenes depicted on the walls of the cathedral were deliberately selected to represent the division of time into four ages – both a literal depiction of history and a metaphor for the triumph of the Church – while also conveying a common theme of judgement as it related to penance, pilgrimage, and salvation.”

He explains his reasons for entering: “As a research topic it was something I fell into by accident, not realising when I started how much work remained to be done on the subject, and I ultimately submitted

it to the Undergrad Awards on the suggestion of my lecturer Dr. Krasnodebska-D’Aughton, who regarded it highly as a piece of research.”

Our very own Arts and Literature Editor Julie Daunt is one of the Highly Commended entries in the Modern Cultural Studies category. Her submission is an essay written for one of her History of Art modules entitled “Behind the Masks of Paul Klee”.

Julie explains how she focussed on this topic as it was another area that seemed to be under-researched. “He was a Swiss/German painter during the first World War. The reason why I chose to focus on his mask paintings was due to the lack of research and articles written about them. I wrote about three of his “mask” paintings: Mask of Fear, Actor’s Mask and Mask with the Little Red Flag.

I researched these paintings to try and determine the meaning behind them. In the end I settled on the Mask paintings representing his personal feelings towards the war, but also how people put on a performance and masquerade to cover up their inner troubles.”

On winning, Jesse says “Ob-

viously I’m delighted for myself and UCC to be honoured nationally in this way, as a recognition of the support I received from the faculty at the School of History, and especially as a reaffirmation of my continued studies abroad in medieval history as a postgraduate.”

Julie is also delighted by her win “I didn’t expect to get anywhere with it, so when I got the e-mail saying I was shortlisted and in the top two hundred people, I was really surprised and excited.”

Julie and Jesse, along with all other winners and highly commended entrants are invited

to attend the UA Summit – a “Davos for students” in Dublin from the 7th to the 10th of November. This summit will include talks, panel discussions, workshops and events geared towards equipping the attendees with “the knowledge they need to further themselves, their ideas and research.”

President of Ireland Michael D. Higgins, who has been patron of the Awards since February 2012 will present the 39 UA winners at the 2012 Undergraduate Awards Ceremony to being hosted in the Royal Hospital Kilmainham.

Sinn Féin highlight SUSI’s flaws as 60,000 grant applications remain unprocessed Heather Steele

6

0,000 grant applications remained unprocessed as of the end of October.

Student Universal Support Ireland (SUSI) was created to replace the previous grant awarding system. It is the central system through which all new grant applications for the year 2012/13 are processed. It has amalgamated 66 grant awarding bodies into a single online process. The new system aimed to minimise the stress of applying to multiple authorities. However, as of October 23rd there were still 60,000 applications being

processed by the system.

Sinn Féin Education Spokesperson Jonathan O’Brien said the SUSI online processing of student grants is working improperly after receiving an answer to a parliamentary question from the Education Minister, Ruairi Quinn, last week which stated that greater than 60,000 grant applications are still be to be processed. Speaking about the backlog, O’Brien said “The new SUSI online system was supposed to make the process of applying for a grant a good deal easier but regrettably, there have been serious flaws which have resulted in delayed payments, poor communication and inad-

equate responses to applications and document submissions.’’

Deputy O’Brien received a break down on the applications made to SUSI in 2012/2013. It showed that of the 65,000 new applications made to the system, a decision has only been made on 12,000 of them with only 3,000 receiving payment. “The minister’s response today confirms that there are more than 60,000 applications still being processed by the system despite the fact that we are nearly in November.”

Deputy O’Brien feels that the shortcomings of SUSI have long reaching consequences for students and their families. “The

consequences for students and their families cannot be overstated and my office in Cork has dealt with people who have been left in dire straits by the failings of the new online system.” He added that due to the length of time it takes to receive payment students may be unable to attend college. “I know of at least two students whose place at college has been jeopardised as a result of delays in their payments.”

O’Brien proposes that Minister Quinn address the issues within SUSI as to prevent problems for future applicants. “The Minister must introduce a clear tracking system that would en-

able students to know what stage applications are at. A better designed more user friendly website would also help and resources need to be found to improve the briefing and training of Helpdesk staff who are doing their best under difficult circumstances.”

He added that given the current economic times students can ill afford delays in receiving grant payments. “As thousands of families struggle to make ends meet, it is unacceptable that students are having their grants delayed because of flaws in a system that was supposed to improve the processing of third level applications.

04 | News

November 06, 2012

Relay for Life UCC

Irish Public to vote on Children’s Referendum Lorna Gardiner

T

he Irish People have been called to vote on 10th November, 2012 on The Children’s Referendum.

As well as this referendum being the first in the Irish state’s history to be held on a Saturday, it also proves to be unique as it will finally address an evident absence within our Constitution, regarding a specific statement or place for the rights of children. In particular, passing of the referendum aims to give firmer recognition to children and their rights within our Constitution and will also affirm the State’s responsibility and obligation in this matter.

As part of the Government’s ‘Programme for Change for Children,’ the Children’s Referendum aims to enshrine new laws on the reporting of child abuse and safer practises for organisations where children are cared for. A reformation of the country’s child protection services will also occur that will transfer them from the Health Service Executive’s responsibility to a newly established Child and Family Support Agency. After seventeen reports on child protection failings in Ireland since 1970 being published, it has been argued that some form of action to prevent further failing is needed.

Furthermore, changes to current adoption legislation will also be facilitated through the referendum. The current standing of the Irish Constitution on this area is currently quite opaque and unclear, particularly concerning whether or not a child’s parents are married and adoption legislation dealing with children in long term care. Concerning the former, the current standing of the Constitution means that children of unmarried parents, if not cared for properly can be voluntarily placed for adoption, while those of married parents cannot.

The Children’s Referendum seeks to provide a change to the Constitution that will eliminate this difference by providing that ‘Provision shall be

made by law for the voluntary placement for adoption and the adoption of any child.’ The latter will deal with the current situation that a child living in long term care, abandoned by his or her parent(s) cannot be adopted unless it is proven that the parents involved have failed in their duty of care. Such a situation can be very difficult to prove and satisfy in the eyes of the law. Therefore, if the referendum is passed, the Government proposes to legally provide that after a defined period of time (provisionally three years), of a failure of care to a child by the parents in question, a child could be considered for adoption, as long as it was in the best interests of the child concerned and based on the High Court’s decision.

Speaking at the launch of the Yes to Children campaign, Former Supreme Court Justice, Catherine McGuinness, said: “The case for constitutional change is undeniable, and so we must take bold and decisive action. I believe that this referendum is an historic opportunity to ensure this generation, and future generations, of children are better protected, respected and heard.

For the first time since the Good Friday Agreement, all of the major political parties, (as well as the nongovernmental organisations such as the ISPCC and Barnardos) are canvassing for a ‘Yes’ vote. Ashley Balbirnie, Chief Executive of the ISPCC, has stated: “We believe that, by our organisations working together, we are sending a strong message as to our commitment and belief in the need for change.”

So far, five groups opposed to the referendum have been classified as ‘approved bodies’ by the Referendum Commission. These include Mothers Alliance Ireland and Christian Democrat, who believe that passing the referendum will detrimentally shift care of a child from the parent to the state.

Regardless of supporting or opposing the proposals being brought forward by the upcoming referendum, the position and safety of children should be greatly considered by means of voting on Saturday, 10th November.

Ellen Desmond

U

CC Cancer Society members launched the university’s first official Relay for Life campaign. Thursday the 18th of October saw society members spreading information and gathering volunteers for what hopes to be the biggest event seen on campus next year. An Information Night was held the following Monday, during which every seated person in Boole 2 was asked to stand if a way they were affected by cancer was mentioned, and every single person ended up standing.

The Relay for Life Campaign is a huge global phenomenon which is driven by the slogan “Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back”. Relay for Life fundraising events have already taken place in over twenty countries around the world and now Ireland.

On the 22nd-23rd of February 2013, UCC hopes to see its very own Relay take place in the Mardyke Arena, which will be Cork’s first Relay. The campaign starts now because without enough cancer survivors and teams taking part the event, it will not be able to go ahead.

Relay for Life is not a race and participants do not need to be overly athletic. There will be several entertaining events incorporated into UCC’s Relay, including live music, food stalls and games. Relay “teams” are being asked to get involved as soon as possible and each to take turns walking around the track next February, with

the intention being to have someone moving on the track at all times for 24 hours straight. Gavin O Donovan, a cancer survivor, says of Relay; “I believe that Relay means uniting for 24 hours and saying hope will conquer all. Relay is 24 hours to come together to fight back”.

During a Relay the Candle of Hope ceremony takes place as night falls, and remembers those we have lost to cancer. Over the coming months a Candle of Hope committee will be seen outside the Boole Library on Tuesdays and Thursdays of every week. The committee invites everyone interested to purchase a candle bag for five euro, and to write a personal message of remembrance or celebration on it. All of these will be lit and displayed along the Mardyke Track during next February’s event.

All money raised by UCC’s Relay will go to cancer research and local cancer charities. Though this event is being organised by the CancerSoc in association with the Irish Cancer Society, all UCC Clubs and Societies are invited to take part by putting in a Relay team in an attempt to make this a campus-wide event.

For further information or if anyone is, or knows a survivor, or has a possible Relay team, the CancerSoc can be contacted at cancer@uccsocieties.ie or equally by liking the Facebook page and sending a message. For general queries, or if you are affected by cancer in anyway, the National Cancer Helpline can be contacted on 1800 200 700.

News | 05

November 06, 2012

Passing the Torch – Dr.Madoline O’Connell at the Jennings Gallery Aine McLaughlin

A

n upcoming exhibition at the Jennings Gallery, “Passing the Torch,” which will run concurrently with “The Experience of Illness” show at the Lewis Glucksman Gallery, will display the art of Dr.Madoline O’Connell, a former UCC student herself, as well as medical professional and talented artist. It will be curated by UCC students Áine McLaughlin and Amber Shrestha.

The Jennings Gallery, located on the Brookfield Medical Campus, is the focal point of arts for the entire UCC School of Medicine. The Jennings high-

lights work done by medical and healthcare professionals as well as students, effectively challenging the idea that one must be strictly categorized as either right-brained or left-brained and instead showcasing the intersection between the arts and the sciences.

Dr. O’Connell, who is the university’s oldest living graduate and the granddaughter of former UCC president, Sir Bertam Windle, worked with Alexander Fleming, the inventor of penicillin, during the 1940s, and as a medical doctor in London during the Second World War. As the Jennings Gallery is dedicated to stressing the importance of developing observational

skills, both in their exhibits and through their support of Looking at Art classes and the Patrons Program, Dr. O’Connell’s work is especially relevant to their mission. Not only does Dr. O’Connell’s background in both medicine and art suggest the intersection between the two areas, but her story and her work are a unique illumination of a rich past that is increasingly rare in modern times.

The College of Medicine and Health at UCC is the only school to not only offer but actually require students to take Looking at Art classes, in which 370 students are currently enrolled, in order to enhance their observational skills and broaden

their horizons. What sets UCC apart from current international practice in this area is the fact that these students are drawn not only from the school of medicine but form across all schools of Nursing, Dentistry, Pharmacy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy. There is a ground swell of initiative worldwide to integrate humanities and the arts into education, broadly speaking, yet in colleges of medicine and health the practice is more often seen in schools of medicine, and in many instances takes the shape of elective, albeit credited modules.

UCC is the first Irish college and university in the world

to execute a top-down decision to deliver arts programs in a cohesive way using the well-researched methodology called Visual Thinking Strategies (http://www.vtshome.org/) within in a framework that is the Jennings Gallery. The gallery works to support this initiative through their ‘Learn to See’ patron program as well as by encouraging student involvement, whether it be working or interning at the Jennings or submitting art for an exhibition.

“Passing the Torch” will open on November 29th in the Jennings Gallery, located on the first floor of the Brookfield Health Sciences Complex.

FUAIM community arts projects continue Cathal Nally

A

series of concerts, lectures and community initiatives launched under the ‘FUAIM’ bracket by the UCC School of Music continue.

Performing arts projects such as ‘Lifesounds’ are aimed at facilitating the making of music across all spectrums in Cork City is central to the ethos and actions of the project. ‘Lifesounds’ featured “an extravaganza of song, storytelling, expressive movement and multimedia installations”; it brought several generations together and included professional artists as well as UCC staff and students.

Going strong for over twenty years, FUAIM has consistently supplied the UCC campus with musical excellence, artistic innovation, and the celebration of tradition; all nuanced by the spirit of collaboration and communal values. Multi-disciplinary in format and culturally eclectic in terms of its Musicians, Performing Artists and Events, FUAIM affects an ethos of inclusivity, diversity and artistry that UCC can be very proud of.

Mel Mercier, Head of UCC School of Music and Theatre, tells us exactly what FUAIM is about:

“Through its cross-cultural and inter-disciplinary curriculum, Music at UCC celebrates the diversity of contemporary musical experience and offers students the richest music education in Ireland”.

A quick look at some of the artists that have performed in recent weeks gives an idea of just how diverse and talent-rich the events on offer are. The Aula Maxima was host to the Congolese Rhumba, Courtesy of The Lace, Baroque music provided by the exceptionally accomplished Violinist Rachel Podger and The Contempo Quartet, who performed both newly composed works by Dave Flynn as well as works long established in the Canon. The Contempo Quartet also collaborated with acclaimed traditional musician Eoghan O’Sullivan bringing Classical and Irish Traditional music together. FUAIM also returned to ‘The Granary’ recently which lent its intimate surroundings to a stellar performance by the Jazz Sextet ‘POD’ which featured UCC Lecturer and active FUAIM Team Member Paul O’Donnell.

‘Common Tongue’ who combine Sean-Nós, live electronics and improvising saxophone are also due to perform in November, as are ‘The Pearls’, a trio of

acclaimed Irish Singer Songwriters. The ‘RTE VanBrugh Quartet and Julia Pusca’, are followed by progressive folk alchemists ‘The Loudest Whisper’ before the series ends appropriately with a nod to traditional song writing and

existing professionals…the series allows us to bring into UCC a whole range of performers, styles and approaches that students just couldn’t otherwise access. Despite technological advances, live listening is still far better for really

patriation of traditional songs as well as medieval, contemporary and world vocal music. FUAIM also highlights a series of lectures celebrating the Year of Shakespeare.

FUAIM also gathers to celebrate

UCC’s Own ‘The Ger Wolfe Trio’.

These events which reflect the multi-disciplinary and aesthetically promiscuous nature of UCC’s Music programmes offer students a chance to capitalise on their UCC experience. In the words of Professor Jonathan Stock, Head of UCC Music Department: “There’s also a real opportunity for students, which is that when you’re developing your own practice as a musician, you need to hear the widest possible range of good work from

catching what is going on.”

Professor Stock states that “Being advertised and open to the public, the FUAIM series is obviously a vital part of Music’s contribution to the community in and around UCC, and it is great that we can do that through performances” There are also lectures from visiting authors and academics on subjects ranging from folk music, a symposium on the phenomenon of live opera in the cinema, the re-

Peggy McTeggart, the First Lady of Irish Traditional Dance on ‘Peggy’s Day’ December 1st. Fuaim will celebrate Peggy with her family, friends, students, colleagues and musicians. This will take place in the Sean Ó Riada Hall, The Music Building, Sundays Well, where Peggy tutored and left an indelible impression on a myriad of appreciative students.

There are still several events left on the calendar, so keep an eye out on this series.

06 | News

News in Brief

November 06, 2012

Weird Wide World Man reunited with lost car

Blood drive in UCC from November 19th

The Irish Blood Transfusion Service will hold a blood transfusion clinic in the Aula Maxima on Monday November 19th and Tuesday November 20th. The clinic will operate from 12.00pm to 3.30pm each day.

A number of similar clinics ran last year in UCC to varying degrees of success, though Ann O’Donovan, Donor Recruitment Manager, emphasised the need for increased donations as one in every four people in Ireland will receive a transfusion at some point in their life. At present, there are approximately 100,000 donors in Ireland and the donated blood lasts for 35 days.

For further information on the clinics and how to get involved, visit www.giveblood.ie, search ‘give blood’ on Facebook or call 1850 731 137.

UCC affirms commitment to energy efficiency

UCC has further affirmed its commitment to energy efficient by signing an agreement with the Sustainable Energy Authority of Ireland (SEAI).

The partnership comes as a result of the SEAI’s Public Sector Energy Partnership programme, which will see UCC taking the lead in contributing to valuable and sustainable energy savings towards the national energy efficiency target of 33% for 2020. This target is drawn from ‘The National Energy Efficiency Action Plan 2009-2020’. Its fulfilment will have a significant impact on the success of the Irish economy and on the creation of a more sustainable environment into the future. Included in the plan is the aim of meeting a year on year energy savings target of greater than 3%.

The development builds on the energy programme already in place at UCC, which has been instrumental in securing accreditation as the world’s first third-level institution to be awarded the IS0 50001 standard in energy management.

UCC student honoured at SET Awards

Maggie Creed, a PhD candidate in Environmental Fluid Mechanics at the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering at UCC, was honoured at the recent SET Awards ceremony in London.

Held in the stylish Kensington Town Hall on September 26th, the European Science, Engineering and Technology Awards are Europe’s most prestigious awards for undergraduate students in the fields of science, engineering and technology. Ms. Creed was presented with the award for Best Maritime Technology Student.

“I couldn’t believe it when my name was called out,” said Maggie.

“I hadn’t even expected to be shortlisted so it came as a complete shock to win the award on the night.” In accepting the award, Maggie thanked her supervisor, Prof. Alistair Borthwick, for his encouragement, and her father, Dr. Michael Creed, for his support.

‘A man in southern Germany has been reunited with his car two years after forgetting where he parked, Bavarian police said on Thursday.

After a night of drinking in December 2010 and an unsuccessful search the next day, the vehicle’s owner reported his car as missing to the Munich police. Authorities discovered it by chance last month after a traffic warden noticed that its inspection stickers had expired - 4 kilometres from the spot where the now 33-year-old craftsman originally thought he had parked.

“The weird thing is that it turned up so far away, although the owner was pretty sure of where he had left it,” said police spokesman Alexander Lorenz.

In the trunk were 40,000 euros worth of tools including power drills and electric screwdrivers, Lorenz said’ – Reuters

Danes search for smallest penis

‘A Danish website is running a competition to find the man with the country’s smallest penis, with an iPhone the prize for the winner. SingleSex. dk is encouraging men to send in photos of their private parts - in ‘rigid mode’ and alongside a tape measure, of course. The rules are simple and the man with the shortest measurement will win the Apple smartphone. Organisers are also asking the site’s female members to vote on the entries and the most popular will pick up a prize. Morten Fabricus, the website’s owner, said the contest was designed to be fun and also to dispel some size-related myths.

‘The smallest is the extreme. It’s a competition which is weird and funny and almost too much,’ he told AFP. ‘It’s a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man. There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one.’ Men can post their photos anonymously to avoid any kind of humiliation and, perhaps surprisingly, there have already been some entries. ‘So far we have received six to seven images which are posted, but we have more trickling in,’ Mr Fabricus said. The erotic website regularly runs such competitions and has previously handed out prizes for Denmark’s most beautiful penis and most welcoming labia’ – Metro

Celebrity sperm for sale

‘A controversial website is to offer “celebrity sperm” for £15,000 to fame-obsessed women desperate for a star child. The Fame Daddy site, which promises “top quality celebrity surrogate fathers” including footballers, actors and rock stars, is to launch next year. It claims it will have 40 different donors for women to choose from, including a former professional footballer, an actor, a genius, a rock star and an aristocrat. Donors will remain anonymous - but would-be mums will be able to identify their area of achievement and other personal attributes. Fees start at £15k but the website claims the investment will provide them with “a proven winner” who will get “a head start in life”.

‘Fame Daddy boss Dan Richards admitted that the clinic has no real sperm samples “as of yet”. However he said that the site’s register of possible donors already includes a retired ATP tennis pro, retired English cricketers and a multi-platinum recording artists. Mr Richards said: “Our vision is to help women give their children the very best chance in life. “To be able to harvest potential from the global gene pool, rather than from the more limited selection of the men she comes into direct contact with, is a major evolutionary leap for women. Whether it is talent on the stage or pitch, having a world-beating voice, or just being very beautiful, Fame Daddy will have the perfect celebrity surrogate daddy” - Orange.

Features | 07

November 06, 2012

The cost of “sexy”

Annie Hoey

Features Editor

W

ell well, here we are again. Another week, another paper. And what has happened since the last time we spoke?

Well there was Halloween of course. All them tiny tiny outfits with those tiny tiny women squished into them. Those sexy sexy cats/mice/bunnies/ pirates/wenches/witches/ladybugs/bumble bees. So much flesh. When I expressed my disquiet at all this flesh (keeping in mind how cold it was

that night also!!) a ‘friend’ (not such a good friend it turns out) sarkily commented that “surely you would only love all the ladies fawning about half naked”. Not very nice. Whatever my sexual preferences are, it is not ok to disguise sexism and homophobia as a ‘joke’.

Some might say that I took his comment too seriously.

Well I don’t think so. Just because I am incredibly open about who I am does not make it ok to mar sexism into a joke at the expense of not only me as a person, but at the expense of women everywhere. I suppose based on this person’s assumptions that I also spend my hours trawling the internet looking up scantily clad (or not clad at all) women for me to oogle at. I gawp and stare at every piece of exposed flesh that dare pass me by. Just because I am a woman it would not make it acceptable for me to objectify women in the same way patriarchy has done so for centuries. Sexism is still sexism, no matter who is the one

doing it. Of course I appreciate things that I find aesthetically pleasing- I am human after all. But there is a world of difference between appreciating something and going out and blatantly objectifying something.

Someone else commented that as a feminist I ought not to judge women for dressing as they please. Now I would like to point out here that there is a difference between expressing concern and surprise at what people are wearing and sitting sanctimoniously on my high horse judging them. I really honestly and truly believe that a person ought to dress in a way that they find pleasing to themselves. It is a rare occasion that I get up in the morning and when dragging clothes out of my cupboard do I think to myself “who do I need to impress today?” Of course, I too get a snippet of the selfconscious willies. I want to fit in. Look good. Even get the odd compliment!! But it is not often that I dress in order

for society at large to find me ‘sexy’. This, I would argue, is the very purpose behind these ridiculous ‘sexy’ costumes.

I truly believe in the power of inner confidence and doing whatever it takes to make you happy and comfortable in yourself. However, I question how these costumes aid this.

I have no doubt that there are indeed some women out there who got a huge confidence boost out of dressing ‘sexy’.

And that is great- go you!!

But what about all the other women who I saw tentatively stumbling on in their insanely high heels, pulling at the hems of their skirts and yoinking their tops up? They certainly didn’t look comfortable, never mind ‘sexy’ (sexy is a subjective term so this is only my interpretation of what I consider ‘sexy’- and being blatantly uncomfortable in yourself is not terribly sexy to me).

So why do it? Why dress in such a manner when it is so obvious that you are selfconscious and uncomfortable?

And this is not a lone Halloween phenomenon. It happens all the time. I constantly see women out, squeezed into tiny dresses, feet bound into ridiculously high torture devices (aka high heels), and hair and makeup coiffed to perfection (which then require constant topping up throughout the night). Don’t get me wrong- I am not adverse to a bit of dressing up and the like.

What I question is the reasoning behind why women do it.

If it is for themselves then that is awesome and more power to them!! But if you cannot look in the mirror and honestly say that at least some of the reason of dressing in such a way is for yourself, then I worry.

So I ask you just one thing when you are putting on your ‘sexy’ gear? Who is it for? Because if it is not at least a little bit for yourself then I would suggest you re-question your motives.

much longer. I have pushed my luck as far as it can go surely? I usually rely on my short term memory to last me through exams. And I rely on caffeine to get me through essays and an innate ability to bullshit an absurd amount.

Watching friends graduate recently has hit me with the realisation that yes this is in fact my last year. Hopefully. I need to get my act together and yet still I see myself sitting writing this with the full intention of going out after it. And I intend on going out tomorrow night as well. This brings me into the weekend where I’ll be working.

Which brings me to Monday when I have an exam. Am I panicked yet? No. Why? I don’t understand and never will understand it. I actually think my

brain is missing an “academic panic” section. Never in my academic career have I genuinely been worried enough about an exam of any sort to put in a substantial amount of effort in studying.

This is no shock to my parents or friends who have seen me coast along academically.

I’m a coaster and am destined to be so. No matter how much I tell myself that yes I am going to change, every week will be a golden week, all the books will be read and all the essays handed in early, it’s not going to happen. I should just accept my fate and see if I can coast to the end of this year and attain some sort of degree. I realise this is terrible advice to be giving other students but hey, if it’s not broken don’t fix it!

Read All The Books!

Úna Farrell

Deputy Features Editor

I

write this with that niggling voice in the back of my mind which screams about college work. It keeps reminding me that I have an essay due and two exams to

study for. This voice is easily silenced with alcohol, food, tv, the internet. It’s easy to ignore really is what I’m getting at.

Silencing the nerd within me who craves nothing more than to sit in the library and hand in her essay early has become a carefully crafted talent of mine. I’ve sat at home feeling “bored” nights before essays due and mornings of exams.

My motivation to study equals zero. At the same time I find myself craving a 1:1. Conflicting ideas really.

I can honestly say in my 4th year of college I’ve yet to hand in an essay early or even not on the exact hour its due. I’ve never had a full night sleep before an exam either seeing as I leave majority if not the whole course to study the night be-

fore. And the thing is I have yet to fail anything.

I know you may be cursing me right now. I am one of “those” students. I don’t go to all of my lectures. I don’t read anything off the secondary reading list, I’m lucky to read the primary texts. The only fish-bowl I know of contains a cocktail. I’ve never had a resit in the summer. I spend my April days creeping by the Loch or sleeping while others sweat in the library. I do so little yet I’ve still managed to make it to my final year averaging a 2:1 each year. Now I definitely know I’m beginning to sound awful cocky. But I’m not trying to make you hate me. I’m trying to convince myself to actually start doing work.

My fortune can only last so

08 | Features

November 06, 2012

A Question of Fees

Children’s Rights Referendum – a symbolic step forward as opposed to practical change?

Gavin Lynch-Frahill discusses the potential onset of an increase in the third level registration fee

Morgane Conaty examines the practicalities of the Children’s Rights Referendum.

A

T

s we head into December’s budget, the Union of Students Ireland is unrolling its annual anti-fees campaign and the politicians ipso facto are feeding us a line of maybes such as, student loan scheme, graduate tax or a small increase in the registration fee. Hmm let me think. Let us forget about all of the protests and just say the registration fee will go up by €250 approx. The USI will pat themselves on the back and say a job well done, and the politicians will turn around and say more of the same toing and froing to the inevitable end result next year.

Is it fair to say we are wasting our time protesting or are we really making a big difference? After the budget came out last year I didn’t see any more follow up protests (correct me if I’m mistaken). It must not have been that big a deal.

I come from a different line of thought. I believe in the person’s right to a free and unbiased education. That includes third level. All of the economists and accountants in the Express readership are probably screaming at me but hear me out. Education what separates us from the animals, only through our innate human nature to question things do we succeed in building highly complex technological devices and send rockets to outer space.

People are still asking questions today. Can we cure cancer? Can we make an iPhone that will call someone when you think you want to speak to them? All of these things are done through innovation. Innovation at the highest levels is mostly developed in universities.

Throughout our time in school we are conditioned against asking questions. Statistically small children ask fewer questions in school than in any other place. Historically universities asked more questions about the world than any other place. This is not the case anymore. Listen in to conversations in Coffee Dock and you will hear more about who Shauna scored at the weekend than the state of the country.

By imposing debt on students and encouraging them to take loans from Bank of Ireland (graduate tax/student loan whatever they suggest, it is all the same) which they will be forced to pay back after college; this will too limit the amount of questions people will ask. Most educational theorists and philosophers around the world, Noam Chomsky to name one, repeatedly state that by straddling students with debt when they leave college we are forcing them to do one thing. Get a job. Now that is not a bad thing but in this context it is not a great thing either. How many people do you know who graduated are working in call centres?

I bet you know someone who has worked in Abtran or a similar company. Did these people aspire to work in customer service before they went to university? I doubt it.

The fact of the matter is that when you put someone in debt for going to college it is just another way of indoctrinating them into the role of ‘productive member of society’ who works 9 to 5 asks no questions and lives for the weekend. As a society we cannot allow this to happen or the institutions that wrecked our economy will live to do it another day. So when you are asked to Stand Up with the USI this winter. Stand Up and be counted not for an increase in registration fees but for freedom for graduates to choose whatever path in life want without a debt collector calling to their door. This is another question: do we really want to live our lives worrying where the money to pay the next instalment is coming from?

he upcoming Children’s Rights referendum has been billed as one of the most significant in the history of the state. Minister Francis Fitzgerald stated, when the wording was published, that it would “represent a major and historic change.” However, with little debate on the issue, can we be certain that this is in a fact a great step forward in the area of children’s rights, as is claimed by the government and most groups supporting it?

When the government published the wording of the referendum the reaction was predominately positive with all political parties endorsing it and children’s groups welcoming it. A recent poll by the Irish Times confirmed that the referendum was highly likely to be approved with 58 % stating that they would vote ‘yes’ and only 4% declaring an intention to vote ‘no’. (33% were still undecided). With a vote in favour of the amendment highly probable, the wording and its impact have not been questioned. The same poll revealed that merely 10% of people admitted that they have a good understanding of what the issues are about. I find this to be extremely worrying; the electorate seems to have very little appreciation for the details of the amendment and as the general consensus is that there urgently needs to be a constitutional change in favour of children’s rights, it is presumed that this amendment must be the best solution.

I agree that the referendum is a positive step, but is it merely a step in the right direction and not a solution to the problems regarding children’s rights?

Will the amendment provide practical change?

The wording of the referendum has to be examined in detail. Proposed article 42A.1 introduces an explicit obligation

to protect and vindicate the rights of children. The article is symbolic as it is the first time children’s rights are recognised in the Constitution. However when taken on a practical level these rights must always be viewed with respect to the rights of the family in Article 41.1. It remains to be seen how the courts will balance the “natural and imprescriptable” rights of children with the “inalienable and impresriptable” rights of the family. Though it is progress to finally have children’s rights recognised in the Constitution, there is a worry that this progress may be merely symbolic, as the courts have always strongly upheld the rights of parents.

This is the only proposed article which does not contain the phrase “provision shall be made by law”, meaning that it does not rely on State legislation for its implementation. The rest of the articles, (regarding State intervention if parents fail in their duty, adoption and the best interests and views of the child), hold little constitutional validity until legislation is passed by the State. The only article upon which the government has published a draft bill is the one concerning adoption, so with regard to the remaining articles it is unclear how the government hopes to reinforce them. We will be voting for a referendum that obliges the State to pass laws, yet we do not know when the State intends to do so, or what the legislation will entail.

What is surprising is that there hasn’t been much concern over these issues in the media or by children’s rights groups. It appears that everyone is happy believing that the referendum is a great advance for children’s rights.

In fact the ‘Yes for Children’ campaign, states that “[t]he referendum will insist that

judges who are making decisions that affect children’s lives will consider their best interests and hear their views.

There will be a constitutional basis for this.” However, the amendment merely obliges the State to legislate for this, there is no express statement requiring judges to take into consideration a child’s best interests and their views.

This wording is actually different from the proposed amendment recommended by the Joint Oireachtas Committee in 2010, which would have been a much stronger endorsement of children’s rights. Here specific rights of children were vindicated (including the right of the child to such protection and care as is necessary for his or her safety and welfare, the right of the child to an education, and the right for the child’s voice to be heard). The best interests principle was also constitutionalised. Why it was decided not to retain the wording and to opt for a weaker amendment is not clear. The stronger wording is unlikely to have alienated much of the electorate as any change in re children’s rights would be regarded as a positive move and would be supported.

Despite these worries I am not in any way advocating a ‘no’ vote on Saturday 10th. This amendment is a positive change even if it doesn’t quite live up to expectations. One would hope that the amendment will be seen as the beginning of a new era in the courts and in legislation, where the rights of children will be better protected and their views held in higher regard. However there is a danger that people and politicians will believe that their job is done; that children’s rights will be sufficiently protected from now on whereas in fact much practical change is unlikely.

Features | 09

November 06, 2012

Children’s Referendum: All good and rosy?

Robert Joseph Bolton expresses concern that the referendum will make us believe that our job is done when it comes to child abuse. Will this referendum instill a “sweeping under the carpet attitude”?

O

ne-sided debate The lack of debate surrounding the upcoming children’s referendum is concerning. Since the five main political parties are campaigning for a yes vote, the media is struggling to find any trace of tension between the eyes and no sides. As a result we are bombarded with a constant stream of yes, yes and yes, creating an assumption that there is nothing to fault with this amendment.

What we are seeing here is a nation blinded by emotional blackmail. The emotional nuclear bomb, the Ryan report, has left its mark on Irish consciousness that will not disappear. Ryan was an elevator of conscious raising.

First, let me state this clearly. Supporters of the No campaign are all for the protection of children. They just feel the referendum isn’t the way to go about it.

I agree. Back a few weeks ago when I heard a referendum will be held on children’s rights, I took an immediate “Yes” stance. This was due to the horrible findings of the Ryan report and my general support on eliminating child abuse. I regret being ignorant.

I should have done my homework first, because I now find myself in a state of cognitive dissonance. I am still undecided. Not because I don’t support children’s rights, but because I have a different view of how to tackle the problem of child abuse. I believe a good argument can be made against the referendum, contrary to the idea emanating in Irish minds that there is nothing to fault about the amendment. So let me offer some balance to the “debate”.

We cannot be left bombarded with one side of the story. It is not one sided. Want a reason

to vote no? Read on.

This referendum has been formulated because child abuse exists. I fully support the provisions for adoption in this amendment. But what this amendment shouldn’t do is lead us to believe that abuse cannot be prevented in the first place. The referendum is only small practical tool towards completely abolishing this torture. It will certainly

passing this referendum will in Ireland. It is a dismal porgive us no incentive to pre- trayal of human nature, on vent abuse in the first place. our capacity to inflict severe trauma and hurt.

SAVI and Irish blithe culOur attitudes have not even ture been enlightened by the Ryan We seem to like to sweep report. In fact our attitudes things under the carpet. My have become worse. Ryan has utmost concern on this point now given us a false impresis based on the 2002 SAVI sion that child sexual abusers report and the practically are priests. This is just arche0% awareness of this report. typal of our habit of stereoThis report, commissioned typing, that anyone outside

help in relieving the pain that victims of abuse live with.

But let’s remember this, the reasons why this referendum has been formulated are not rosy reasons. My argument is that we should strive for the elimination of the very reasons this amendment has been formulated. The amendment, if passed, will not reduce child abuse.

Journalist Vincent Browne claims that if “it is passed, there will be reason not to care at all, in the illusion that we have done our bit by voting ‘Yes’.” He argues that children still don’t matter in Irish society. I agree.

The abuse highlighted in the Ryan report was not due to a constitutional deficiency.

It was due to societal values.

My concern rests with Irish laxidasical attitudes. We must not think that voting yes will solve the issue of child abuse.

If you vote yes, do not think that you and the government have done your bit. Frankly my concern is that we will forget about child abuse. That

by the Rape Crisis Centre, documented, with harrowing results the number of victims of abuse in Ireland. Its methodology has remained unchallenged, meaning we can be sure of its accuracy.

The report found that one in five women and one in six men reported experiencing contact sexual assault when they were under the age of 17. 120,000 women and 54,000 men have been raped in childhood, a figure completely ignored by the media when the report was published. Vincent Browne, the only prominent media figure who has attempted to raise awareness of this report, claims that there was “not a single reference (to the report) in Dail debates.”

The report also found that 80% of the perpetrators were known to the child. Now when I asked eight people if they ever heard of this report, all but one said “no”. This report is a shocking documentation of the depressing reality of the extent of child abuse

this class is saintly, innocent and good.

SAVI found that 25% of babysitter perpetrators were under 18. The ordinariness of abusers highlighted by SAVI demolishes stereotypes.

The generation of young people growing up in Ireland today is a priest bashing priest paedophile stereotyping hoard. The idea that priests are the only perpetrators of child abuse must be cast out like hammer and tong. If my generation does not see the broader reality, as exemplified by the SAVI report, that abuse can be carried out by what seems to be innocent ordinary people, then I fear my generation will be that little bit less ill equipped to spot child abuse. We will be a carefree generation, ignorant of the continuing abuse in Irish society. We will think that the declining influence of the Catholic Church will mean a decline in child abuse.

passed, will we not do anything further to protect children against abuse? Will the Irish people believe that this amendment is adequate? Will politicians think that they have done their bit?

The website childrensrights.ie proclaims the amendment gives us an opportunity to break away from this our shameful legacy of child abuse. This is a just candy floss bribery, aimed at attempting to quell our shameful history, making us believe something good has come out of the Ryan report.

Remember, it was values and attitudes that created endemic abuse, not a lack of constitutional jargon.

If passed this amendment will not, in fact, break us away from any legacy. Child abuse continues. Across society, hidden within homes, schools, swimming pools, places where children should absorb and be immersed in the enchantment of childhood, children live in pain, in fear, in torment, in hell.

The legacy of child abuse in Ireland has not disappeared.

SAVI exemplifies this. Ryan was not a reflection, it was a documentation. Child abuse is a continuing legacy across Irish society, in every city and town, in every village. Our politicians and people are not strong enough. Where is the energy, the passion, the ferocity needed to implement structures that could not only help children but also the abusers themselves? Where is the education? Where is the banishing of stereotypes?

Where are the prevention programmes that could save the childhoods of thousands of children?

If Passed Is this amendment all we’ve If this amendment is got?

10 | Features

November 06, 2012

Legislation and Generalisation, Bigotry and Toleration Sam Marks explores the cons and pros of having partners in pink after the LGBT Ally week

A

llies are a necessary component in any social uprising of a repressed class of society. In the early 19th century, men were quick to take sides during the women’s civil rights movement, and made their opinions, bigoted or not, well known to the world. This does not bode as similar a scenario for the gay rights movement.

Women during their civil rights movement didn’t have the disadvantage of being a minority, and were not asking for radical changes of religiously influenced socio-judicial institutions such as marriage. That movement also has the advantage of being the one of the oldest, carrying on to this day both nationally and on a global scale. With women on average still receiving less pay than their male counterparts in a substantial part of the western world, it probably should come as no surprise our somewhat idiotic world is slow on the uptake.

The gay rights movement meanwhile has been bubbling under the surface for decades since the mid-19th century. But one could say it was centuries too if it weren’t for the Dark Ages, with the ancient Greeks obviously taken into account.

Even in mythology one would struggle to find any bone fide gay deity or hero, villainous or not. The Roman army bonding rituals seem to be casually overlooked in history class. Even the bible didn’t expressively define what happened at Sodom and Gomorrah (a paradoxical cause of much glee for both biblehurlers and bible-bashers alike).

As such the gays have been hidden for quite some time, forgotten and nearly erased from history. Late-18th century England had brothels, JackThe-Ripper and other forms of well-known depravity, yet Oscar Wilde was the only gay man that springs to mind from that era and the only one of the three mentioned who was arrested for “gross indecency”. It seems such

a shame they c ou l d n’t muster up the courage back then, even under law, to correctly term it “consensual homosexual sex”. The act itself may as well have been called Voldemort by the absolute terror and disgust it caused merely trying to say it out loud little more than one hundred years ago.

And this long-ingrained thinking has haunted us ever since. Much like the whites used African-American criminal stereotypes in an attempt to degrade the racial minority, millions jumped on the HIV band-wagon as evidence that the homosexual orientation was against nature and doomed for failure for social integration. We appeared out of nowhere, alien and unwelcome to the current social etiquette. If it weren’t for the educated majority to support us, we should as well have called it a day and continue living our metaphorically hidden life in caves, eating “da-poopoo” as Uganda’s Martin Ssempa so kindly puts it.

But now in the Western world, homosexual practices are not illegal anymore with finally a small slice of the equality pie.

With still marriage and parenting in the mix however, it still not as substantial as out host’s other esteemed guests, and the length of time it has taken to get it has made the slice a little stale for a success. While we should be humble for this, we often don’t when our heterosexual counterparts often seem to desecrate the very idea of marriage and child-rearing themselves, something which ironically they’re so foolhardy in protecting.

Now we have the transgender and bi movements gaining

speed as well an asking for their own slice of the equality pie. To the completely uneducated bystander, one could forgive them for being a little taken aback by the constant onslaught of “should have this” and “should have that” which to them might seem arbitrary from a legal standpoint. If only the knee-jerk reactions were not so predictable.

For the homosexual it’s “you can marry, you can adopt kids, what more do you want?” For the bisexual it’s “hey, you can flick between gay and straight if you want, nothing’s stopping you, and they both have the same rights as each other”. For the trans it’s “nothing’s stopping you having the surgery, so long as you save up the money”.

This isn’t even including the other sexual/gender orientation standpoints that some other individuals take, often causing confusion, eventually minorities overlooking further minorities in an equality-hurling mess.

On one side, having allies seems like an admission of defeat, that we can’t fight our own battles with wit over sheer force of numbers. In a weird way, I feel having LGBT Allies helps stabilise this process and direct us to common goals. And yes, while they can misconceive and misconstrue as we all do from time to time, they have the greatest asset of all for a majority; a mutual willingness to learn from each other. In the end, all you need is a good ear, a sound logic, a functioning mind and heart to be an LGBT Ally.

Societies Corner Katie Dennison Get Fat with Dramat

‘Fat’ standing for ‘funny and talented’ of course!

It’s Fresher’s week and we’re heading down to the Dramat variety show. They’re a popular bunch but even they are surprised by the size of the crowd outside the Connelly building, over a hundred people have shown up to see the society showcase their talents. With a bit of subtle queue skipping I make it into the performance while others are turned away. From start to finish we experience laughter (a hysterical song from the ‘Book of Mormon’, a skit of a couple who’ve met on a dating site, and a preview of an original play directed by Jack Holland coming up this year), tears (a scene where an elderly lady mourns the son she lost), and genuine awe (Mike Ryan’s homemade instruments were particularly impressive). The committee were bubbly and enthusiastic, encouraging us to get involved by acting/designing/writing our own scripts, and were willing to stand so that we could all have seats. As we were leaving we saw all the people we thought had been turned away due to lack of space waiting for the second performance which had been put on especially to accommodate the overflow of people. We <3 Dramat!

Get Oral With Choral!

It’s Tuesday, 7pm, and I’m at the Geography building, caught up in a rush of students hurrying into the lecture theatre. Right at the door are members of Choral’s committee who are beaming at everyone, answering questions, and making everyone feel really welcome and glad they came (despite the miserable weather). As a person who was in a musical one time I feel experienced enough to slot in with the other sopranos on the far left of the room, but for everyone else there are more committee members guiding them to seats and introducing those who didn’t come with friends. We begin with an introduction from the glamorous auditor, Olga Dennehy, followed by introductions from the rest of the committee, descriptions of each person’s job, and an overview of what the society will be getting up to during the year. They already have a trip away planned and several concerts including their famous Christmas concert by candlelight in the Honan!

Next we meet Tom. Tom Doyle is the conductor, musical director and heart of the society. He is the only person who could make a group of over 100 men and women stand on their seats and sing a song while touching their neighbour’s knees… We’re all feeling pumped after the unusual exercise so we dive enthusiastically into the first song. I’m not going to lie to you, I can’t remember the name – it was in Latin. But the harmonies were gorgeous, and the piece was short and sweet. Then, to wrap up the night in style, we raised the roof with a well know Beach Boys song; “I get around”. By the end of the night everyone was in hysterics, what with the lads trying to make their voices sound deep and manly while the girls attempted to break windows with their high notes, and ready for a session in the pub! A brilliant night and here’s to many more.

November 06, 2012

Features | 11

With Love from Anon Úna Farrell looks at the dangers of online anonymity with regard to the recent Balpreet Kaur fiasco on Reddit.

B

alpreet Kaur is a firstgeneration sophomore at the Ohio State University, where she is studying both Neuroscience and Psychology. She hopes to continue onto medical school to become a neurosurgeon, research the effect of social stigma on the progression of mental disorders in developing countries, and hopefully, open a few free clinics in Africa. At OSU, she is a part of the executive board of the Better Together team, president of the Sikh Student Association, and a Humanities Scholar. Being inspired by the tenets of universal love and service in Sikhism, she aspires to learn about the human condition and, one day, save the world - one step at a time. Her turban and her faith inspire her to be different and to initiate dialogue with others. She finds herself reading everything and anything in her spare time, meditating, baking vegan deserts, and thinking about the profundities of life.”

This is what you would have found had you searched for “Balpreet Kaur” before the 21st of September. On the 21st of September an anonymous user on reddit.com by the appropriate name of European_douchebag posted a picture he took of Balpreet when he saw her on Ohio State University campus.

He titled this picture “I’m not sure what to conclude from this” What European_ douchebag is referring to is the fact that Balpreet wears a turban and has facial hair which confused him somewhat.

Balpreet is a Sikh and in this religion the body which is given to them is meant to be honoured and not altered.

Therefore they do not believe in the removal of hair from

any part of their bodies. They treat their body as a gift and so respectfully keep it as it is.

The turban, while not mandatory for women, is a symbol of royalty and dignity in the Sikh religion. The wearing of a turban for a woman signals the equality between men and women in the religion and is a sign, to quote

Balpreet, “of inner strength and empowerment”.

When European_douchebag posted this picture on reddit a thread of comments began developing. There are currently over 1500 comments on the picture. As usual the anonymity of the internet encouraged people to speak utterly truthful when expressing their opinions. Floods of hateful comments came in mocking the,

still anonymous at the time, woman in the picture. More stood to defend her and her religion, slightly restoring my faith in humanity. Soon the picture was brought to the attention of the woman in question, Balpreet.

In one of the most dignified, composed and courteous manners possible Balpreet

responded to the comments on the picture. Her rebuttal to the picture did nothing to condemn the hurtful comments or to attack the user who posted the picture in the first place. She eloquently explains that she is a member of the Sikh religion and the values which she holds because of this. She is neither ashamed nor embarrassed by her appearance or the response it gets.

“By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions.

My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it?

When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can.”

She respectfully accepts the bad and good comments and not only this but she apologises. Yes she, the woman who was ridiculed by strangers on the internet, apologises to them for causing any confusion or “uttering anything that hurt anyone”.

She not only took the high road, she built it with her bare hands. Her humbling approach to a situation where others would have been embarrassed, angered and hurt shows extreme tolerance and humility.

After such an amazing response the users of reddit rallied and the positive comments filled the thread.

People’s admiration of her handling of the situation was astounding and she inspired and gained the respect of many. So much so that the original poster then posted an apology to Balpreet, the Sikh community and anyone else he may have offended in his mindless actions. He ends this apology with an extremely true statement, “Just because you’re anonymous doesn’t mean you can be an

asshole.”

It is too easy to hide behind the mask of the internet, hidden by our usernames and fuelled by the confidence of anonymity. We can easily ridicule, comment on, harass and laugh at those we see on the internet. We don’t know them, they will never know us. We are “anon”. Bravery is synonymous with anonymity. They are dehumanised behind the computer screen and we are suddenly filled with opinions which we need to express. What Balpreet did, instead of fighting back with hurtful comments against European_douchebag, she reminded us that the picture which everyone was commenting on was of a real person. A person with good morals and values. A person who is non judgmental and wishes to create happiness. Her commenting on the thread reminded everyone that they were in fact ridiculing a person for no other reason than that they could.

We all get a little braver when we sit in front of a keyboard. We say things we normally wouldn’t say. We dissociate ourselves from our actions taking on an anonymous persona. It’s easier to ignore responsibility for our actions when we will never have to face the consequences. We need to remember that just because we are hidden behind the veil of the internet we can’t loose all sense of our values. We have all felt the thrill of anonymously posting something. We all know that we can much easier say things when we know that there will be few or no repercussions.

By all means anonymity can be a good thing but not when used as a weapon against others. We all have a voice to use, why hide behind a username?

12 | Features

November 06, 2012

Get Inside the Mind of a ‘Jersey Puller’ Conor Francis Breen

J

ersey Puller (n.) :- definition; A girl who actively “attaches” herself to members of the local G.A.A. team.

Infamous for sporting so much fake tan she looks like the love child of Snookie and X Factor’s Rylan. Has achieved all life ambitions if she beds a Senior InterCounty player.

“You hear about Sophie and the captain down at the Club Bingo the last night?

What a jersey puller!”

In Shakespeare’s King Lear, the tormented protagonist spends days upon the Heath where he runs about naked, howling at the skies and cursing his life. However, amidst the madness, he has a lucid moment where he finally sees the world for what it is. During the bedlam of last year’s Cork County Championship celebrations, I too was overcome with this Shakespearean-like clarity. While admittedly fully clad, I like Lear looked around and saw my surroundings like I never had before.

What I saw was “Jersey Pullers” everywhere.

Every morning for the next week following UCC’s victory, young girls skimpily dressed (not too dissimilar from Lear), teemed out of houses all along College Road. The image of one particular girl doing the walk of shame is imprinted on my mind. I can’t decide however what was more embarrassing for her, the

fact that she was announcing to the alumni of UCC that she’d done the dirty deed or the fact that she was wearing your man’s Roscommon G.A.A shorts.

The “Jersey Pullers” were out in force. This was their Championship. Those biting cold December nights were tough but these women’s perseverance was now bearing fruit. Drinking bans were no more, so now they had UCC’s finest sporting produce at their disposal. These innocent athletes would spiral into a state of inebriation and the women would pounce. A young fella in his drunkenness would not be able to deceiver whether a woman looked like Georgia Salpa or Michael Lyster - a prospect more terrifying than Marty Morrissey’s forehead.

Rearden’s Bar on a Sunday night remains the Mecca of Jersey Pulling. This is where all the women congregate after a tough weekend of watching their men in Championship action.

Failure to get in the turnstiles of Rearden’s means the girls will sometimes have to succumb to the “back door system” and bide their time in Havanas until the footballers steam through. Their victims arrive and for the second time that day the Predators™ are out. These girls have themselves dressed in clothes tighter than Paul Galvin’s pants. They latch onto any breaking ball they can get their hands on. For most of us when we think of the “Gooch” we think

of the carrot topped Kerry maestro, but for these ladies it has an alternative meaning. Ironically their behaviour is more akin to a soccer player, as they are renowned for going down easy.

“But I don’t play football for UCC, how is this article of any benefit to me?” …see that’s where you’re wrong. I like many others was not blessed with sporting talent. The record books will tell you I have four bronze Community Games Medals, but in reality only three people competed in my parish each year. When I’m after a few jars, my friends will tell you that I like to reminisce my solitary goal that I scored for Tralee Dynamos some five years back. While it was a rather sweet strike, in my sobriety I can admit it’s clutching at straws. I believe, however, that just because I don’t excel on the football field doesn’t mean I should be made an alien to a whole host of potential female suitors. Oh sure I can throw out the classic washed up rock-star card, but believe me that ship has sailed. If you reckon that you immortalise 90’s T.V. show “The Renford Rejects” with your lack of sporting ability then listen closely to my nuggets of wisdom . I now realise we must play these “Jersey Pullers” at their own game. I now understand the working of these fascinating female minds. We must lie.

Raid your home and

snatch any article of O’Neill’s merchandise that you can get your hands on.

O’Neills is a proven aphrodisiac, an agent which acts on the mind of the “Jersey Puller” and causes arousal and heightened sexual desire. Appeal to their senses by ensuring that the items of clothing are covered in grass stains and reek of deep heat and bodily odour. Next is the importance of acting the part.

With G.A.A. stars it’s all bravado when they are out on the town. This was put best by a famous Western philosopher who is quoted as saying, “they are like a horses cock, big when they are out”.

So in the nightclub, thrust your chest forward as if you are some genetically modified pigeon.

Throw some dirty looks at first years who you know you would be able to physically compete with. Tip, if you don’t possess overly large arms, try and keep them out of sight as best you can, it’s a giveaway that you don’t lord the gym. Remember “Gah” players lord the gym. If you want to really get into character bring out a pair of crutches and pass it off as a bad football injury. The beauty of this is that you will garner sympathy also. Just make sure she is aware that your ailment does not affect your sexual performance in any way. Ok, so the “Jersey Puller” is approaching, don’t panic. The key here is not to bore her, realistically she has no interest in how your local team is fairing in

the County League. What she wants is the glamour.

She seeks the high life of a G.A.A. W.A.G. Hit her with the inter-county material.

Tell her you have just broken into the County senior team this year. Say how in the upcoming season review in the Irish Examiner Tony Leen has described you as “The Future of the G.A.A”. Pretend to receive a phone call and then laugh it off, “Ah god, it’s Shefflin on the piss again!”

At this point she is all yours. To quote T.V. icon Jimmy Saville,” it’s child’s play from here on in”. It’s a wonderful feeling when you watch the “Jersey Puller” walk down your drive way the following morning.

It’s like the ecstasy you feel when scoring the winning point in a Munster Final… well I assume that’s how it feels. You know that you have got one up the world, a world that deprived you of any sporting prowess.

I want to take a moment however to say that these women deserve some recognition. They have been the “bedrock” of the G.A.A. since 1884, sticking with their men through thick and thin. In fairness there is many a ginger corner back that would never have lost his virginity or left the family home had it not been for “Jersey Pullers”. A wise old man once told me that the only time a man can be described as “Cat” and still get women is if he is a Kilkenny Hurler. What a wise old man he was.

Verge Entertainment // FIlm & TV // Music // Arts & Literature // Gaming

November 06, 2012

02 | Editorials

Voting season begins

Tracy Nyhan

Entertainment Editor

W

hile browsing the internet for updates on news and matters of general entertainment, I came across stories, side by side, which triggered a series of thoughts. The articles in question dealt with issues that the site clearly thought were of equal importance to the viewers. On one side was an article about the

US Presidential Election. The other was an article about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart holding hands on Halloween night.

By the time you read this, people across America will be voting for their president.

This election is pivotal to the decisions that the United States will take in the immediate four years after the President’s inauguration and, most likely, will impact upon terms for many years afterwards, too. The role of the electorate is just as important as that of the presidential candidates. Elected officials make decisions which impact almost every single aspect of the electorates’ lives. You are handing the elected officials the power to vote for or against legislation that impact the lives of women, girls, and com-

munities of colour, advocate for issues that prevent and end violence against women, policies that increase the minimum wage or protect the right to vote. They can decide if and how to respond to city, state, national and international issues including the lack of affordable health care, housing foreclosures, and immigration reform and decide if and how to respond to city, state, national and international crises such as hurricanes, flooding, and terrorism.

This year is as important as any other. When a vote is cast, one is voting for someone who will be involved in making decisions that will affect you and everyone around you. Things like health care, social security, housing conditions, economic matters, energy

policy, taxes, terrorism and decisions regarding the cost and access to college.

Voting is one of the most important acts that the electorate can do in their lifetime.

Your decision will impact you directly, and others around you now – and in the future – however indirectly that may seem at the time. This is just as true regarding the referendum taking place in our own country this Saturday. The Children Referendum will take place this weekend to decide whether or not a new article regarding children and their rights should be placed into the Constitution. The proposed changes include amendments to how adoption is operated in Ireland, to promote the protection and vindication the rights of children and to promote state intervention in cases where

parents physically or morally fail in their duty towards their children.

Holding an election – any election – on the same podium as what celebrities get up to in their spare time is misleading and subsequently wrong. Do people pay more attention to insignificant details in popular culture? It made me think whether the electorate is really conscious of just how important their decisions are every time they vote at a ballot. Elections are very important – not only to yourself but to those around you. The results will affect our everyday lives indirectly, if not directly. So take the time to inform yourself adequately on what it is you’re voting on, and use your vote responsibly.

Editor’s Pick: Black Moth Super Rainbow – Cobra Juicy Jack Broughan reviews the lates offering from Black Moth Super Rainbow

B

lack Moth Super Rainbow are undoubtedly one of those bands that have a very definite sound and body. Like God Speed You! Black Emperor, listening to a Black Moth Super Rainbow album, one knows exactly what they are letting themselves into. Indeed the band is something of a cult interest, as this most recent album Cobra Juicy’s formation illustrates.

Funded initially as a Kickstarter project after that band had come back from a brief hiatus it seems the band’s fans showed their appreciation by opening up their wallets and showing support.

Straight off the bat, Cobra Juicy sounds very much like a Black Moth Super Rainbow record. Electronic beats arranged in a wholly linear fashion and rarely de-

velop. In a sense the drum sequencing seems to suit the bands quasi-psychedelic sound. Another major feature of the band’s sound is the heavy and almost omnipresent use of vocoders. While most cringe at the thought of even using the instrument after it’s exploitation by the likes of TPain and every half arsed producer in between, Black Moth Super Rainbow just seems to make it work.

Sounding lush and warm, vocoder lines drift of the top of track and frequently seem to by driving the melody of the tracks.

If I like anything about Black Moth Super Rainbow, it’s the groups sound. Lush synths and simple melodies make the band’s records incredibly easy to listen to. Warm Yamaha CS80 sounds are heavy through-

out, particularly on tracks like “Like A Sundae”. The melody seems to be driven by a thick FM Synth and underpinned by a spacey melody that sound like something off a Daft Punk album. Indeed one of the albums stand out moments “Gangs in The Garden” sounds pretty close to a daft punk song. Driven by crunchy synth rhythms and hi-hat drums, the track really comes alive due to its great sense of groove and huge distorted vocoder line.

Echoes of “Robot Rock” are persistent throughout.

On the downside the whole record just doesn’t grab me as much as it should. Frequently labelled as psychedelic or experimental, Black Moth Super Rainbow’s sound on this record seems to be situated between later Beck records

and patches of Air’s discography. While some may think the comparison as a compliment, Black Moth Super Rainbow sound more like the most boring parts of each aforementioned band. I get the overwhelming sense that Cobra Juicy could be an album that you’re dickhead stoner friend insists everybody listens to at a party because: “It’s smoking music man!” At the core of it the album just doesn’t develop very much. The rhythm’s on most tracks don’t seem to develop all that much, drums seem to stick to one pattern with little deviation like a NEU! album. Melodically the album sounds pretty boring too. “Dreamsicle Bomb” sounds like something off a seventies pop record, while amusing and somewhat entertaining to begin

with, it seriously begins to drag after the halfway mark.

The band seems to be leaning heavily on its sonic aesthetic rather than writing interesting music. The heavy use of vocoders is a case in point. While sounding sonically appeasing it’s use wears thin real fast. At times the vocoder seems like a crutch for the band’s nonsensical lyrics, covering them up with warm phasers and dull melodies.

Cobra Juicy is probably worth a listen, perhaps even two but probably won’t hold your attention unless you’re taking rips of soap bar out of a glass bong and talking about string theory to you’re bored friends. A record for the more convicted Black Moth Super Rainbow fans for definite.

November 06, 2012

Entertainment | 03

Walt Disney Pictures Presents: Star Wars Is the acquisition of Lucasfilm by Disney a random progression in the world of entertainment? Not really, argues Tracy Nyhan, Entertainment editor.

D

isney is buying Lucasfilm, the company behind the Star Wars franchise, for $4.05 billion which is marginally more than what they spent on Marvel ($4 billion). Considering the success of The Avengers (which grossed $1.5 billion), it seems like the price tag could potentially pay off just as quickly.

Lucasfilm is also the production company behind the Indiana Jones franchise, and fantasy films Willow and Labyrinth.

Star Wars feature films have earned a total of $4.4 billion in global box to date, and continued global demand has made Star Wars one of the world’s top product brands, and Lucasfilm a leading product licensor in the United States in 2011.

Is this a sign of clever business or timidity on Disney’s behalf? Investing in something that is almost certainly going to work instead of trying something new and untested? Both, actually. Michael Corty of Morning Star said Disney’s deal was clearly part of a pattern in buying new franchises; “Pixar was the first big one, then Marvel, and now this one here,” he said. George Lucas, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Lucasfilm, had this to say about the situation; “For the past 35 years, one of my greatest pleasures has been to see Star Wars passed from one generation to the next. It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers. I’ve always believed that Star Wars could live beyond me, and I thought it was important to set up the transition during my lifetime. I’m confident that with Lucasfilm under the leadership of Kathleen Kennedy, and having a new home within the Disney organization, Star Wars will certainly live on and flourish for many generations to come. Disney’s reach and experience give Lucasfilm the opportunity to blaze new trails in film, television, interactive media, theme parks, live entertainment, and consumer products.”

Lucas, famous for making movies that have garnered astonishing success and influence throughout the world also made a movie similar to a Disney film in the 1970s when Disney was struggling to gain a steady audience.

Disney enjoyed gargantuan success in the 1930s and in the 1950s but by the 70s they were struggling to connect to a regular, traditional audience. Movies during this time, for example The Rescuers, Basil the Great Mouse Detective were slated as not living up to the same standard as previous Disney films. Film historian and senior lecturer at University of East Anglia in London, Peter Kramer, has extensively researched the relationship between Lucas, Disney and Spiel-

berg. He has noticed that Lucas and Spielberg (with whom Lucas collaborated) gained their massive success by addressing Disney’s target audience with a string of new adventure movies suitable for entire families. In fact, American newspaper Variety refers to ET (Spielberg) as “the greatest Disney movie Disney never made”). As we all know, Disney excelled again in the 1980s, taking an example from the success of Lucas.

Based on this, there is an interesting history between the both businesses that suggests a tension and, arguably, inevitability that Disney would eventually t a k e o v e r their competition in Lucasfilm.

It has a l s o been argued t h a t Disney, acquiri n g Star Wars (and the other productions that come with Lucasfilm) represents an opportunity to further extend its demographic reach to target male consumers of all ages. It would be wrong to state that girls like princesses and fairies and boys like cars and soldiers, but it may have influenced Disney’s decision in taking over Star Wars. Disney has enjoyed massive success with their merchandise based on princesses and fairies from their movies but haven’t had the same success in the male market. Of course, they produced Cars (Pixar) merchandise which sold very well, but that success pretty much stands alone thus far. Disney’s purchase of Pixar and Marvel may suggest their desire to target a wider male audience which will then ensure that they have a much wider demographic appeal.

It’s an interesting move that has the potential to be a great success for Disney. I’ll be keeping an eye out for the new Star Wars film planned for release in 2015. Whether it will be received well or slated is still to be seen. Only time will tell.

Deputy Entertainment Editor Jack Broughan questions whether the series has bottomed out.

B

y now you’ve probably heard the news, either through half heated moaning Facebook status updates or through angry blogs penned

by Star Wars fans the world over. Disney has added Star Wars to its latest list of acquisitions, buying the franchise for four point five billion dollars and securing a tidy retirement fund. Unsurprisingly the fan backlash to the news was swift as it was cringe worthy, claims of a slew of new horrible new movies, speculations on how Disney will dumb down the franchise or even possible weird crosso-

vers between Disney’s intellectual properties. Regardless of how the new buy out will affect Star Wars; it’s been no secret that the franchise has been dying a slow death for a very long time.

Jar Jar Binks – Perhaps one of the most out of place and biggest targets for fan ire is Binks. While it may seem like shooting fish in a barrel, Binks is a character I’m sure nobody over the age of ten years enjoyed in the Star Wars films.

At best an unfunny comedic sidekick to whichever character he appears in a scene with Bink’s slapstick humour is not only completely unfunny but Bink’s whole demeanour offends me. His walk, the fact that he speaks in Ebonics and seems to be some sort of intergalactic Steven Fetchit comes a little too lazy racial caricature.

Awkward re-edits – For a long time I thought the usual chorus of complaints about Lucas remastering and rereleasing the first trilogy as ridiculous. Lucas of course had hit upon a canny marketing scheme and a method of shoving his now fifteen year old films back on to the market and driving up sales in a way

few other film franchises can. To me it seemed like an albeit clumsy but somewhat noble task, touching up special effects in order to stay the march of time against an ageing but loved collection of films. When I actually sat down and watched a few however it was clear that Lucas wasn’t just touching up the glow of lightsabers or easing out the creases in Uncle Ben’s forehead. One scene in particular is burned into my brain for decades to come. In Star Wars episode IV it seems Lucas cobbled together a new scene in which Han is confronted

by Jabba the Hut outside of the Millennium Falcon. While Han’s movements may be used from scenes from the original shoot, Jabba’s CGI’D form looks absolutely awful, almost as if somebody had edited the scene in Windows movie maker.

Han Shot First – No whine about how George Lucas has been killing Star Wars would be complete without this, an issue that’s close to my heart, hence me capitalising each word. Han is confronted in the first film by a bounty hunter named Greedo. Greedo presumably has cornered Han in the attempts to wrangle a sum of money out of him that had been owed to Han’s former employer; Jabba the Hutt. A tense conversation ensues and mid-way through Han, shoots Greedo from under the table. In later re-edits Lucas has decided to change the encounter so that Greedo shoots at Han first forcing his hand to kill his assailant. While Lucas cites his reasons as attempting to portray Han in a more positive sense the reedit crushes a long held fan interpretation of Han Solo as the morally ambiguous anti-hero of the film. On top of that the whole notion of anybody missing from such range is completely ludicrous. Perhaps as ludicrous as my assertion that I wouldn’t have missed shooting a smuggler with a laser gun in a science fiction galaxy that was concocted in the seventies.

Regardless of my bitter fan rants, it’s clear that the series has long overstayed its welcome in the hands of Lucas. Perhaps new funding and a new writing and directing might take the series in an altogether positive direction. Whatever the Disney acquisition may mean for Star Wars, it can’t be much worse than what Lucas may have had planned.

04 | Film & TV

November 06, 2012

Giving them the run-around was bemoaned by his family. “There was a kind of snobbery about books being better than everything; books were considered the acme of everything the human mind has to offer,” he told journalist Decca Aitkenhead in 2011. Graduating from Oxford in 1991 with a degree in History, his journalism career was quickly fast-tracked by Michael Moore, with whom he worked on news program TV Nation. Still in his mid-20s when his first series of documentaries was commissioned by the BBC, in Weird Weekends (running from 19982000) his onscreen persona is irrevocably open, objective and empirical. His enthusiasm knows no bounds: in Swingers he chats comfortably as all around him swap partners, later jumping naked into the pool. In Porn he becomes an extra in a gay porn movie, while in Off-Off Broadway he auditions (badly) for a Broadway show with an

off-tune version of “A Little Help from My Friends.”

Weird Weekends feels somewhat like a series of mostlyfrivolous, occasionally depressing jaunts through subcultures which are, on the whole, relatively harmless. Dangerous undercurrents occasionally emerge, however – the seediness and the sadness of the male performers in Porn, the media-titled ‘most dangerous man in America’, Khalid Abdul Muhammad, in Black Nationalists and the quiet desperation of women willing to marry men they’ve never met in Thai Brides. Are these documentaries, immersive as they may be, representative of their populations as a whole? Occasionally they feel somewhat like travelling ‘freak shows’ – the television viewer little more than a spectator at a zoo, the bars replaced by the cool glass of the TV screen. Nevertheless, they are incredibly entertaining, their populating documentary subjects inflating somewhat to become caricatures within the constraints of the context and the timeframe of the documentary.

When Louis Met… focuses on Theroux’s interactions over a space of a month or so with a variety of then-topical celebrities and media personas. The series opener is one which has

since become contentious: citing him as his ‘childhood hero’, Louis spends a series of days and nights investigating the life of Jimmy Savile, with ever-increasing yet intangible discontent. Tweeting in late October this year, he addressed this uncertainty: “To answer question: when making doc, I was fairly sure he had a secret but didn’t know what”.

While the documentaries can be considered a sort of investigative journalism, it’s fairer perhaps to conceptualise them as a series of snapshots or probes which reflect only the subject or the area at that very moment in time. These visual ethnographies have tended towards the darker in recent times – what is the rationale behind this shift?

Famously objective in his earlier documentaries, Theroux of late can be seen to challenge and distance himself from his oftcontentious subjects.

Bar the very human interest in the weird and wild of our own species, why the universal interest and acclaim for Theroux’s movies? If I may offer a tentative suggestion, it is both their accessibility and their ability to rouse emotion – whether it is sadness (Dementia), disgust (Porn) or anger (The Most Hated Family in America).

sents itself very much as a 21st Century Bond movie, as the villain has no evil plot for world domination but rather seeks personal vengence and does so with little more than his computer. Bardem plays it surprisingly camp but despite this, he stills adds enough threat and the occasional tinge of insanity to make Silva intimidating.

While much of the criticism for Quantum of Solace may not be deserved, one of the more valid issues was that the plot, while not overly complicated, was rather incomprehensibly told. Skyfall’s plot, on the other hand, is much more focused.

This leaves much of the film’s running time to focus on the characters themselves - particularly Bond, of course. Daniel Craig has proved again why he is ideal for the realistic, gritty incarntaion of Bond which stays truer to original novels. Give Craig one more film and he may well cement his position as the very best Bond yet.

Overall there is very little to compain about. The only one

which springs to mind is that Bardem may occasioanlly play it slightly too camp, enough so to raise a few chuckles in the cinema at least. Aside from this I believe that Skyfall does more or less everything you could want from a modern Bond film, delivering on thrills, drama and even the occasional witty oneliner.

However, the most important element of Skyfall is the recurring theme of relevance.

Throughout the film, the question of whether Bond, M and MI6 itself are needed in today’s world is constantly raised. This is obviously a comment on whether of not the Bond franchise is still relevant in modern cinema, made even more significant as Bond celebrates 50 years on screen. I feel that Skyfall proves that the Bond franchise is not only still relevant but still essential viewing in modern cinema.

Film and TV editor Kellie Morrissey examines the interest behind the documentaries of Louis Theroux.

T

here’s something about Louis Theroux, that’s for sure. The man should really consider police work, counselling - becoming a member of the clergy - based purely on his ability to elicit even the most odious of confessions from his documentary subjects. Having starred as an extra in a gay porn movie, attended a swingers’ party, lived with prostitutes for weeks on end in a brothel in Nevada, and hung out with (among others) white supremacists, professional wrestlers, neo-Nazis, televangelists, and survivalists – even inviting some

of these to his house for Christmas – Theroux’s documentary films of late have focused on darker subjects: meth addicts, inmates awaiting trial, dementia and autism. From bunking with Jimmy Savile to tackling ultranationalist Jews living on the West Bank, this definite shift in tone over the past decade of Theroux’s film-making is one which can be traced despite the erratic subject matter of his films.

Son of famed travel writer Paul Theroux and brother of novelist Marcel Theroux, Louis’ draw to film-making was one which

Breaking bonds Cheesy Adele song or not, Cathal Dennehy finds the latest in the Bond franchise to be more than relevant.

2

012 marks the 50th anniversary of the James Bond franchise and with this came some serious pressure for the newest installment.

Coupled with this was the further goal to improve upon 2008’s Quantum of Solace which caused a fair deal of dissapointment upon its realease.

In many ways, Skyfall was always going to be crucial for the future of the Bond franchise.

It was expected, therefore, that Skyfall would contain a mixture of what characterised the older Bond films and the more modern elements introduced by Casino Royale and this, as it happens, is the film’s greatest asset. The film continues the realism and grittiness of the modern Bond films while still managing to be lovingly referential to the originals, keeping

intact the witty quips and the introduction of new, archetypically Bondesque characters.

Thankfully, these references never slip into pastiche, and the film retains much of what made the newer films so unique.

What made Casino Royale, and to a lesser extent Quantum of Solace, work so well was that they focused on Bond as a realistic, three-dimensional character. Skyfall does exactly the same, even going as far as to divulge a little of Bond’s backstory. Along with this, the role of M is expanded. In fact, the plot is largely based on M, giving Judi Dench her biggest role in the series yet.

The villain this time around is Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem), a pseudo-cbyer terrorist who launches a personal attack on MI6 itself. Again, Skyfall pre-

Film & TV | 05

November 06, 2012

What’s your favourite film? Read all about it!

Bryan Lynch rails against the tried and trusted icebreaker.

I

t’s that old question isn’t it? The one that always comes up at parties from well-meaning new acquaintances when your love of film is revealed: “what’s your favourite film?” - I hate it, mostly because I know it’s a question to which I can never honestly provide an answer, even to myself.

We are living in an age in which cinema has been around for well over a century and in which access to the latest releases from Mexico, Iran or South Korea has never been easier thanks to the proliferation of DVD releases and the rise of digital distribution. When Sight and Sound posted the results of its now venerable Greatest Films of All Time poll in 1952, Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane did not even appear on the list despite being over a decade old at the time. The reason? Many European critics had not yet seen the film due to the Second World War. Ten years later, after the critics had caught up, Kane took the number one spot and stayed there for the next fifty years, cementing its reputation as one of the finest films ever made.

Nowadays, news of great films spread around the internet like wildfire and if a film as good as Welles’ debut comes along, you can be assured that it will not take a decade to be appreciated (or at least seen) around the world. At the same time, older masterpieces are continually being rediscovered, restored, digitised and distributed to new generations of viewers. This helps to explain the meteoric rise through the S&S poll of eighty year old silent classics such as Dziga Vertov’s Man with a Movie Camera and F.W. Murnau’s Sunrise. As the glories produced by cinematic pioneers for over a hundred years are rediscovered, the list of “must see” films for the avid film fan just keeps growing.

As a result, the thought of singling out my favourite film strikes me not simply as daunting, but as downright impossible.

Furthermore, what is it that we mean when we say “favourite”?

Is our favourite film simply the one we enjoy most? Or the one we rate most highly as a piece of cinematic art? And even if, for argument’s sake, we settle on the assertion that our favourite film is the one we have enjoyed most, I would still find the question impossible to answer. Just because I have seen Wong Kar Wai’s Chungking Express dozens more times than La Haine, does that necessarily mean that Wong’s film has a more valid claim to be my favourite?

Of course not. The reason I have seen Chungking Express so often is because it is one of my personal feel-good films; a flurry of image and sound that never fails to improve my mood. On the other hand Mathieu Kassovitz’s La Haine is an entirely different beast; a grim portrayal of contemporary French society teetering on the edge of the abyss as a re-

sult of the country’s socio-economic inequality. That said, it is a tale that is that is hugely enjoyable to watch; a fascinating, biting social commentary built around a core of terrific performances that never descends into preachy soap-box tactics. These two superb films are poles apart in terms of their content, but they help to illustrate the fact that just because I don’t watch a film frequently, that doesn’t necessarily mean I enjoy it any less than those I do.

In short, I would argue that there are many types of cinematic enjoyment, ranging from the instant gratification of a splendid action or comedy film, to an excitement stemming from a film’s technical innovation to a pleasure derived from an appreciation of the filmmaker’s precision in camerawork or visual storytelling.

The ways in which we enjoy films are as numerous as the types of films there are.

Una Hennessy is back with the latest in cinematic news.

Schwarzenegger Back for New Conan Movie: Conan is confirmed to come back for one final hurrah! Arnold Schwarzenegger is set to reclaim the role that originally brought him to fame 30 years ago. The new film, to be entitled The Legend of Conan, will drag Arnie out of retirement from politics and relaunch his film career. The star, now in his mid-60s, said of the project, “I always loved the Conan character, and I’m honored to be asked to step into the role once again. I can’t wait to work with Universal and the great team of Fredrik Malmberg and Chris Morgan to develop the next step of this truly epic story.”

The Conan franchise had some pretty disastrous sequels after the original Conan the Barbarian of 1982. Most recently, 2011’s Conan the Barbarian, which starred Game of Thrones’ Jason Momoa in the lead role and made only $21 million at the box office. The Governator will return to his loincloth after an appearance in 2012’s The Expendables 2, and will return to our screens again in Ten, and in a sequel to 1988’s Twins (you know, the one with Danny Devito) which is to be entitled Triplets. This ought to be good.

Johnny Depp for Transcendence? Christopher Nolan’s longtime collaborator and cinematographer Wally Pfister is set to take the director’s post in a new film called Transcendence. Nolan and wife Emma Thomas will come onboard to produce, and like all Nolan projects in early production, details of the plot are being kept securely under wraps. The most we know is “It’s a present-day science fiction film, a fairly big concept. It’s bigger budget — not as big as Batman, but not independent,” Pfister has reported.

Depp is reportedly waiting to read the updated script by writer Jack Paglen before he officially commits. The story, said to be a cross between 2001: A Space Odyssey and Inception, will see a man get sucked into a malevolent, self-aware computer that he created. Depp will next appear on our screens in Gore Verbinski’s The Lone Ranger, alongside Armie Hammer (The Social Network). The film is set to begin production in early 2013.

Adam Sandler set to get ridiculous: Everyone’s favourite daft-butloveable movie star, Adam Sandler, is set to light up the silver screen again in his latest comedy project entitled The Ridiculous Six. The title is reminiscent of 1960’s The Magnificent Seven starring Steve McQueen, about seven gunfighters drafted to protect a Mexican town. Sandler’s long-time collaborator, writer Tom Herlihy will step on board to co-write the script.

The two have been collaborating on Sandler’s projects going back to his Saturday Night Live days back in the early 90s.

The 46-year-old star has had a couple disappointments of late, with his last two live-action films Jack and Jill and That’s My Boy both doing poorly at the box office. However, recent animated feature Hotel Transylvania starring Sandler was a hit with kids this year, so he’s not written off just yet.

The comedian will next be seen alongside Kevin James and Chris Rock in 2013’s Grown Ups 2. The Ridiculous Six begins production next spring with a release date set for early 2014.

06 | Music

November 06, 2012

Hair metal and radio friendly rock As the Co. Meath site announces little to be excited about if you’re on the right side of 40, John Martin asks whether MCD are handling the once-prestige event in the correct manner.

F

ar be it from me to ask whether or not someone is the right person for their job, though when the signs are as clear as this it’s difficult to ignore the realities of the situation. As is the case across the board in Irish life, the music scene has suffered a constant beat down since 2008. At the epicentre of this is the live scene – the scuffling and excitement for the announcement of big shows has waned dramatically with tickets remaining available for even the biggest draws right until the last minute in the vast majority of cases.

It is on the back of these reevaluated means that comes the least interesting announcement for a Slane headliner in the thirty years that the Co. Meath site has been seen as a concert venue. Cast your mind back to the beginning of this year and relive the plethora of Bon Jovi ads that plagued daytime radio, ticket sales to

the New Jersey act’s two RDS shows remaining on sale right up until that third chorus of ‘It’s My Life’.

The mind boggles as to what Lord Henry Mountcharles and co. are thinking in booking the veteran rockers for what was once the highlight of the Irish musical calendar. After the Oasis disaster in 2009 (having witnessed the organisational chaos, as well as the band meltdown, in person, I can assure you that very few people made it out with a shred of dignity intact, Kasabian and the Prodigy notwithstanding), the task was a difficult one to rejuvenate the site and they managed it perfectly with the Kings of Leon’s 4000th Irish show two years later. A youthful, enthusiastic crowd witnessed a sell-out show with public order offences far lower than they had been at the previous instalment.

It seems, though, that MCD are still smarting from their

dressing down across the board last year on the back of the now infamous Swedish House Mafia show in the Phoenix Park. There was much to be learned from the series of concerts that also featured the Stone Roses and a double header of Florence & the Machine and Snow Patrol, though it seems as though MCD missed the point.

People simply cannot afford these huge outdoor shows in the manner that they once did. The question here is not whether or not Bon Jovi are any good (they aren’t, for the record) but as to whether the appetite is there to see middle aged rockstars play in a field for €80 (tickets actually range as high as €96).

Looking back through the 2012 gig calendar, it has been far from a stellar year. Even in the absence of Oxegen, ticket sales were slow for some bigger events. While Jay-Z and Kanye West sold out one date

in the O2 in no time at all, the second one was a rather limp affair, tickets reduced for “student and unemployed” discounts in the weeks before the show. Bruce Springsteen in the RDS was a similar situation: the first night selling out immediately, the second had tickets on sale until the Boss was on stage. The ads for Neil Diamond, Madonna and Bon Jovi were played on Irish radio more than Adele in an attempt to push sales. Even the supposed guaranteed sell-out of the Stone Roses in Phoenix Park failed to reach those heights.

However, the appetite was there for a certain type of show.

Florence & the Machine and Snow Patrol in the Phoenix Park was a sell-out, the Killers in the O2 also. Muse and Bon Iver were near capacity in the O2, with the nosebleeds the only seats left free.

Undoubtedly, these acts would struggle to sell out

Slane (Snow & Flo the possible exception), but the fact that MCD have yet to piece together the puzzle is staggering. Sure, the Rolling Stones might sell out Slane if they return for a third time, but such a draw is rare nowadays. People are more concerned with value for money than a novelty rock act – I’d be willing to bet that a double or triple header featuring any of the likes of Snow Patrol, Florence & the Machine, Two Door Cinema Club, the Killers, Coldplay and, for some reason, the Script would be a far more successful affair than welcoming back an aged musician without a hit in recent memory.

Granted, Slane has always been a slot for nostalgia acts, but changes in this regard are long overdue. Drop the ticket prices or adjust the acts accordingly, it’s simply not realistic to do anything else anymore.

Editor’s Pick: Ty Segal - Twins Deputy Entertainments Editor Jack Broughan reviews Ty Segal’s latest offering

I

t’s that time of the month again; it seems Ty Segal has released yet another album.

His fourth release in the last year, Segal is most definitely not shy about putting out a wealth of records. Indeed in the past four years his discography has become pretty unwieldy. Boasting ten EP’S and a further six split EP’s recorded with the likes of: The White Wires, a Garage rock outfit from Ottawa Canada and Thee Oh Sees, a Californian band that touches the bases of Garage, Punk, Post-Punk and even psychedelic rock.

Just taking a look at Segal’s last three releases reveal’s a surprising amount of versatility. Slaughterhouse is an out and out Garage rock record.

Fast aggressive and chocked with riffs that’s give the Stooges a good run for their money, the record sounded more like an off the cuff live recording rather than a studio album.

Hair saw Segal mix it up with White Fence. A band usually known for sleepy but somewhat abstract rock the record suffers from a slight schizophrenia, Segal’s penchant for fuzzy guitar rock audibly butts heads with White fences more relaxed manners. Lastly and Goodbye Bread released on the Drag City Label saw Segal in a far more relaxed manor. Filled with cooed vocals and soft acoustic guitar tracks about adverse mental conditions the record saw a more singer songwriter side to Segal. Concise but in places rather boring the record was interesting but didn’t have much appeal beyond the first listen.

In that light Twins is borne into interesting circumstances. Rather than question the ability of Segal to put out a different sounding record or something that touched new bases, Twins begs the ques-

tion of just where Segal will go next. Unfortunately the record stumbles through a mash of just about everything Segal has done before. Certainly a mixed bag, Twins sounds more like a compilation rather than another studio record.

The record opens with “Thank God For Sinners” driven by big droning guitar chords and stumbling mid tempo drums.

Catchy and dripping in fuzz and feedback, the track sound just like the Segal record we’re accustomed too. “You’re a Doctor” is one of the record highlights, fast as hell, and underpinned by scrappy vocals about mental illness the track sounds once again like the garage rock sound Segal is known and loved for. “The Hill” strays more into the psychedelic territory that Segal has skirted around on other releases. The vocals on the track sound almost like the two-part harmonies one would

hear on early Beatles track.

Underpinned by relentless guitars and more feedback soaked melodies, it’s another welcome addition.

Perhaps one of the records more immediate strengths is its ability to switch gears in terms of tone. Possibly a product of Segal’s chaotic sound, or some sort of desensitisation from being blasted with so many guitar’s swamped in speaker churning fuzz but it no doubt works. “Inside Your Heart” sees a tone of stoicism, removed from the upbeat but totally unhinged aforementioned tracks. More of long determined slog the track dissolves into drawn out guitar chords that sound like punches to some beleaguered boxers face.

Despite Segal’s long and impressive discography, Twins is somewhat of a disappointment. With the ground gained in the last three releases part

of my excitement for this record was to see exactly what Segal did next or more specifically what Segal would do differently. Twins is by no means a ground-breaking record, more of a mix of just about all of the sounds that Segal has touched on in the last few years sewn together on one record. As disappointing as that may be Twins is still staggeringly a good record, the same quality that ran through Segal’s back catalogue is still there, albeit elements of all of it injected into one well-paced and well-arranged album.

Not quite the new Segal record listeners were looking for but most certainly more than enough to keep us going till the next release. Judging by Segal’s pace should probably be in another few months.

Music | 07

November 06, 2012

Alt-yaaaay

Green Day - Uno! Taylor Swift – Red Tracy Nyhan

Tracy Nyhan

R

S

Entertainment Editor

eleased at the same time as Billie Joe Armstrong’s actual 21st Century Breakdown in rehab, ‘Uno!’ has been generally well received by music critics. The first instalment of their three-part opus has been welcomed as a return to a band more reminiscent of the Green Day pre-‘American Idiot’.

Beginning with ‘Nuclear Family’ which reminded me of ‘Nice Guys Finish Last’, ‘Uno!’ has elements of the same fast-paced punk songs seen in the older albums, proving that Tre Cool and Mike Dirnt are still more than capable of keeping up. Billie Joe Armstrong’s merciless voice, as ever, suits the music and laces the overall feeling of the album with unforgiving attitude, with one noticeable difference. Armstrong’s voice is, not forced as some critics argue, but quite the opposite in fact. His voice is too lax during the album.

He sings the verses and continues to the chorus with little conviction and climactic effect. Previously, he had a knack for colouring phrases with his voice but here, it seems as if he’s stuck on the same level – which leaves a somewhat lazy and anti-climactic impression.

The lyrics in this album and the choice of language, in particular, is interesting in ‘Uno!’.

Although there is still swearing in the music, there are fewer examples of obscenities.

There seems to be an-ever growing theme of mortality in the music also (with mentions of ‘Carpe Diem’, “too young to die” and “running out of time”), which is an interesting and (in this lyrical sense) failed attempt at trying to sound like their young selves.

The album is just as catchy as the music in ‘Dookie’ and ‘Warning’. In this respect it has a nostalgic quality that I very much enjoyed. ‘Oh Love’, the first single from the album is a song that you need to listen to a few times before appreciating it properly. It’s simple and more old-school than some of the other tracks but it’ll most likely be one you’ll come back to.

Songs like ‘Carpe Diem’ with its guitar solo, ‘Let Yourself Go’ with resonating attitude and anger, and ‘Trouble Maker’ will have you tapping along in appreciation.

Overall, ‘Uno!’ is an album I enjoyed listening to, despite my initial reservations about their comeback, although not having a united band may affect its overall success. 4/5.

Entertainment Editor

he’s a six time Grammy Award winner, is placed in Time’s 100 most influential people in the world list and her album ‘Speak Now’ made Rolling Stone’s The 50 Greatest Albums of All Time (by female artists) list. Her success is unprecedented and unequalled by anyone, past or present. Swift’s new album ‘Red’ now boasts the highest firstweek sales of any album in the last decade, having sold more than 1.2 million copies. The last album to achieve such a promising reception in its first week was Eminem’s ‘The Eminem Show’ which sold over 1.3 million copies in 2002.

Her success is measured by her annoyingly catchy songs that, once you hear them once, will circulate your brain for days regardless of whether you want them to or not. ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ is a perfect example to demonstrate my point.

The lyrics are universally understood but that doesn’t make them potent in meaning.

The album consists of sixteen tracks, running at over 60 minutes long; it’s an impressive musical output (not to mention the many failed relationships) but, as with everything, quantity doesn’t necessarily mean quality.

Expect to hear ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’, ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ (with a half-assed attempt at incorporating dubstep into her album) and ‘22’ everywhere in the near future. These are songs ideal for the pop market, which she is obviously aiming her music at with this album. Having said this, she still stays true to her country roots with songs such as ‘I Almost Do’, ‘Treacherous’ and ‘Begin Again’. Then you have the dreary, boring songs that did well in putting me into a pleasant, relaxed state of sleep.

Highlights of the album include her unlikely duets with Snow Patrol’s Gary Lightbody (‘The Last Time’) and Ed Sheeran (‘Everything Has Changed’). Although the album is mostly what I expected to be, it shows an ambitious side to Swift by firmly stepping into the pop market and her willingness to experiment with her styles and different genres. The success of the album will continue for much longer than the first week, thanks to her appeal to her target market and the few good tracks I mentioned above that should be well received by an even wider audience. 3.5/5.

The twentieth Mercury Music Prize was awarded to Alt-J last week.

Heather Twomey asks whether anyone still cares.

T

he Mercury Music Prize passed with little fanfare this week. The relative lack of big name nominees (Plan B the exception rather than the rule) meant that beyond the realms of the NME, Q and other similar publications, there was less interest than normal.

This year was far from a bumper year for music, though the prize was criticised across the board for the insular nature of the nominees. Rather than reflecting a broad spectrum of British and Irish music (there were no Irish nominees), the judges seemed to want to recognise the best in British indie and alternative.

Sitting alongside eventual (and deserving) winners Alt-J were indie darlings the Maccabees, Michael Kiwanuka, Field Music, Richard Hawley and Django Django, while Ben Howard and Plan B the only three to trouble the daytime airwaves too often.

It was reassuring to see Alt-J win the prize, their inventive debut An Awesome Wave is a worthy successor to PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake as the recipient of the prize.

The nature of the prize is a much discussed one, questioning the lack of classical, jazz, folk and pop acts in many incarnations, while the regularity of an outside bet emerging on top has brought questions to the fore as to whether the judges are wholly sincere in their final decisions. This has come to the fore a number of times, such as M People winning in 1994 ahead of Paul Weller, Blur, Pulp and the Prodigy, Gomez beating the Verve and Massive Attack in 1998 and Speech Debelle winning in 2008 ahead of Florence & the Machine, Friendly Fires and Kasabian, not to mention the travesty of 1997 when Roni Size/ Reprazent won out ahead of the Spice Girls Radiohead’s OK Computer.

This year’s event was the twentieth incarnation of an award show that still seems to be looking for a genuine identity. Having moved venue and shuffled the format slightly, the criticisms and irrelevance remain the same.

A symbolic gesture that the recipients were most certainly pleased to receive, blink and the interest will have peaked. Roll forward a few years and will Alt-J sit in the same bracket as the xx, Arctic Monkeys or Speech Debelle?

08 | Arts & Literature

November 06, 2012

Louis Le Brocquy: The Death of a Legend The Glucksman Gets Crafty Ellen Desmond commemorates the loss of one of Ireland’s most celebrated and unique artists.

L

ouis Le Brocquy, despite his French sounding name, was an artist born in Dublin on November 10th 1916. In respect of Le Brocquy passing away in April of this year and with what would have been his ninety sixth birthday this month, I feel it is time somebody commemorated him in some way. Interestingly enough, Le Brocquy actually had no formal training in art and originally trained to be a chemist in Trinity College.

Predominantly a painter, he also worked in sculpture, printmaking, ceramics and tapestry. A stellar example of his tapestry work can be seen hanging just inside the entrance of the National Gallery of Ireland. Le Brocquy’s work has also been represented across the globe, including at the Brussels World Fair alongside the works of Cézanne and Matisse.

Known throughout the later years of his life as the greatest living Irish artist, Le Brocquy is somehow under-represented in the art and literature world of Ireland today. The only informative study of him is that done by his wife, Anne Madden, which is both extremely expensive and difficult to come by. Though visual books of his works are available, it is still un-

However, the little media coverage of Le Brocquy consistently takes into account his kind and gentle nature. A self-declared enthusiast of the classical arts, during his lifetime Le Brocquy became one of the very few Irish artists ever to witness one of their own works sell for over a million pounds sterling. Before his death he was also honoured as the first living artist to be put on display in the permanent collection of Ireland’s National Gallery in Dublin with his outstanding piece A Family, which still remains on display there today. This work is from his “Grey Period” and marked a change in his usually more colourful range of palette choice.

A Family was Le Brocquy’s direct response to the threat of nuclear war, which was a very real fear for the artist in 1951.

The horizontal extremes pay homage to Picasso’s cubist phase but the uniqueness of the symbolism and imagery Le Brocquy indulges us with here is one of a kind. I would urge anyone to go see this painting

acceptable the lack of attention he is given. This is more evident when you take into account that there are several extremely comprehensive accounts of many less successful and stillliving Irish artists, all of which can be found relatively easily, and just about anywhere, even here on campus in the Glucksman Gallery shop.

in the flesh, as I have rarely experienced art with such a profound immediate impact to the onlooker. With its intentional lack of perspective, this painting appears to explode out of the frame into the viewer’s space. A Family was given an award at the 1956 “Venice Biennal” and is widely acknowledged as one of the key initia-

tors of modernism becoming an accepted style in 20th century Irish art. It is tastefully displayed in the National Gallery, not far from Yeats’ Grief, which makes a similar statement of abhorrence to war.

While Le Brocquy is also highly noted for his Táin illus-

trations, it is perhaps his amazingly fresh and innovative Head Portraits for which he is best known. These comprise of images of famous figures, such as Bono, and are portrayed in a stunningly striking manner. Le Brocquy manages to convey the idea that he has merely splattered these faces onto canvas but when one stands a few feet away from these wonderful images, extraordinary likenesses and incomprehensible amounts of detail can be seen. Luckily for anyone interested, three of Le Brocquy’s Head Portraits, those of W. B Yeats, Samuel Beckett and James Joyce, are currently on display in the Crawford Gallery in Cork city.

However, I would argue that worthy attention was not given to the display of these phenomenal works, as they are hanging in an unsuitable corner beside the Gallery Café, with the Portrait of W. B Yeats displayed at a peculiar right angle to the other two. They most definitely cannot be appreciated at their best in this location because of the bustling crowd and canary yellow coloured wall, which does little to benefit them. They still warrant a visit, but one would generally expect more attention for being some of the best works by a very recently deceased legend of Irish painting. A call for a major tribute exhibition is easily in order, to give due respect to the passing of this one of a kind artistic genius.

There’s a weekend of handmade and affordable Irish crafts to be snapped up in the Lewis Glucksman Gallery, says Julie Daunt.

T

he Lewis Glucksman Gallery Craft Week is back again for its fifth consecutive year. From the Friday 9th to Sunday 11th of November the gallery will be packed to the rafters with beautiful Irish crafts, which would make the perfect gift for anyone (Christmas is still two months away, but doesn’t hurt to be prepared!). This year’s craft fair features a bigger and better selection of pieces and crafts than in previous years and is definitely worth popping down to have a nosy around! And even if you’re strapped for cash, it is still the perfect opportunity to see the latest in Irish craft work by leading artists brought together in a beautiful display.

The craft fair is a highlight of the Glucksman’s calendar, and will showcase a wide selection of works in a variety of media such as basketry, textiles, jewellery, soap, ceramics, glass, woodturning and paper crafts. The crafts featured in the fair are aimed for a variety of budgets, so there is something for everybody. The fair is also an opportunity to meet new and upcoming artists, and to find out about their different skills and disciplines. In today’s economic climate, it is a great opportunity to support local artists and their works, as well as Irish craft work in general. The Glucksman Gallery Director Fiona Kearney said “The Glucksman’s Craft Fair showcases the creativity and quality of Irish Craft as well as supporting Irish artists and the local economy. The displays are always beautiful to look at and I’ve got my eye on some special gifts already!”

The fair will feature works from 50 participating artists, with their works being showcased on the lower and upper floors of the gallery space. One such artist is Ruzica Ruane and her award winning glass beads. She makes delicate blown glass jewellery with foil enhancements that is colourful, funky and unique. She has learned her techniques from around the world, and this adds an international dimension to her pieces. Her jewellery can be worn for special occasions, but also for everyday wear. Her beads, pendants and necklaces are intricately designed and are extremely eye catching. They are real statement pieces!

If you prefer prints, then you should check out the works of Éimear Brennan and Fán Regan. Éimear Brennan’s works consist of pen and ink drawings. She is a Dublin based artist whose works are inspired by mythology, folklore and nature. The Glucksman show will feature a lot of her new prints as well as larger works which will be both framed and unframed. Her prints are colourful and very detailed in their execution, and her style is very unique and quirky. Fán Regan’s prints are original and handmade designs.

Her work can be seen weekly up in Dublin’s Templebar, but will appear for the first time at the annual craft fair. Her works are simple, yet striking, with her prints set against a hand moulded white paper background and feature a wide range of designs from birds to fish to abstract patterns.

There will also be a selection of Meadows Organic soaps available at the fair, which would make the perfect gift for anyone in need of some pampering! The soaps are completely natural and free from any harsh chemicals and additives. They are available in a wide range of scents and oils, suitable for normal and sensitive skin types and, above all, they are all reasonably priced. Overall, these soaps are natural, kind to your skin, and luxurious. Finally, for all tea lovers out there, there will be a range of Helen Daly teapots on sale in the gallery. Daly also produces jugs, bowl and other pot types. Each pot is handmade and unique, and they are all produced here in Cork, which is said to have inspired her work. They pots are also microwavable and dishwasher safe, so while they are beautiful to look at, they are also safe to use!

There is an entrance fee of €5 which supports the Glucksman’s artistic programme of events, educational workshops and activities that run throughout the year. The fair will open on the Friday with a guest speaker at 5pm. For more information regarding the Glucksman and their upcoming events, check out their website www.glucksman.org, like their Facebook page, or follow them on Twitter.

Arts & Literature | 09

November 06, 2012

The Real Liz Lemon Tina Fey’s autobiography makes you laugh, but also teaches a lesson says Ellen Desmond.

T

here are no mistakes, only opportunities – a lesson one would not necessarily expect to learn while reading Bossypants by 30 Rock star Tina Fey. But this autobiography is every bit as full of single-tear jerking inspiration as it is of sharp wit and ruthless humour. From the beginning, with the flippantly put “During the spring semester of kindergarten, I was slashed in the face by a stranger in the alley behind my house”, all the way to her retelling her honeymoon spent on a sinking cruise-ship, Fey captures our sympathies and maliciously forces you to laugh aloud as you sit reading on the bus (and then wanting to die of embarrassment, which I believe was her intention). If one asked Dara O’Briain and Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory to rewrite Bridget Jones’ Diary, one might pro-

duce something very like this.

In other words, there’s pretty

much something in it for everyone.

Many of you, like me, probably learned everything you

know about life today from watching Mean Girls when you were nine. Or should I say, you probably learned what not to do with your life from Mean Girls, which was actually Fey’s subliminal aim when she wrote the script for that movie. And just like Mean Girls helped you out when you were nine, this book is the ideal companion for any hopelessly lost and confused Fresher. Or just about anyone else prone to everyday misfortunes and regular petty traumas. Fey gives a hilarious and easy to relate to account of her youth and we see her frequently making the average social mistakes of any adolescent but on a much larger, and more comical scale, which she tells in an incomparably ironic and offbeat tone. A personal favourite of mine is her account of wearing a “lady colonial outfit” and “a white denim skirt-suit”.

Throughout this book you will encounter things such as a deadly vendetta against blond women, the hilarious “Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter”, as

well as several dweebishly interesting nerdy outbursts, two of which were apparently published in the New York Times.

Fey also includes a blow-byblow account of the story behind her Sarah Palin impersonation, stands up for gay rights and doesn’t hold back in criticizing those who believe female comedians aren’t funny and, in my own opinion, proving them wrong.

Though the book’s cover of Fey’s face super imposed on a man’s body may be creepy (to the point of disturbing), you’ll be turning pages so fast you won’t have time to look at it.

Fey ultimately paints a picture of someone who made a career out of being just plain weird and embracing it (something we should all learn from, as Fey is now a multi-millionaire). She is quick to highlight that she is no different from you or I just because she is a celebrity and her un-inflated head will definitely gain your approval. She will attempt to preach throughout, which is usually annoying, but

she won’t suffocate you and much of the advice she gives is timeless and tasteful among the dry humour; “Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. We’ve all worked with that person. That person is a drag.”

It’s not a major issue if you don’t even know who Tina Fey is; it’s still an amusing and informative read. From experiencing this book you will be inspired that you can do just about anything - all you have to be is a little crazy. And if you’re not inspired, well hopefully you’ll still have a bit of a laugh. Overall this book is more of a collection of one-liners and disjointed examples of comedy prose than an outstandingly written memoir, but unless you’re looking for the corsets and jousting festival style hardcore literature then that really isn’t anything to complain about, is it?

Comedian Tony Law performs at UCC Entertainment Editor Tracy Nyhan went along to Comedy Society’s anticipated gig.

C

anadian-born comedian, Tony Law, performed in the very luxurious Boole lecture hall (a big step up from the Apollo, it must be said) to an impressive crowd that filled most of the hall, he performed for forty minutes – but he had the easy job.

Performing before Law were three younger acts, all of whom are/were UCC students. MC Alan McCarthy, a former UCC Engineering student got the ball rolling with a series of gags at his own expense, mostly in relation to his experiences with the opposite sex and his dire inability to dance. In between acts he graced the stage with his presence and what a grace it was. Of all the acts, his wit, timing and interaction with the audience worked best and it wasn’t long before the audience started to relax and enjoy the gig.

Michael Stack and Johnny Goodwin were the lucky support acts on the night. BioChem student Michael Stack performed well during his time on the stage. Although he ini-

tially seemed a little awkward on stage, it fed the success of his performance and armed with his boyish, cheeky charm he proved to be very entertaining. Making slightly risqué comments every now and then he kept the audience’s attentions firmly in his grasp. Again, drawing on his relations with the opposite sex, he was able to relate to both sexes in the audience and, needless to say, made us laugh throughout.

Johnny Goodwin, former Nursing student, gave a more mature performance than the others – at the beginning at least. Out of all the acts, I feel this is the one that got off to the slowest start. Not to take away from the rest of his performance though, as it was excellent.

Drawing on raw materials such as his relationship with his girlfriend (have you noticed a trend forming yet?!), but thankfully there wasn’t much repetition of the other guys’ performances and, particularly from mid to the end of his performance, I laughed manically at most of his gags.

The main attraction, Tony Law. I was unfamiliar with him before that night, having never seen him perform before. In other words, I had no idea who the hell he was and had no expectations of him besides assuming that he was going to be funny. So now I tell you – never assume anything. I did laugh and some of his material was clever but I did feel like the forty minutes dragged a little.

It was clear that he didn’t put much preparation into his performance; it wasn’t very fluid, he repeated things quite often giving us the impression that he was desperately wasting time in an attempt to think of something new to say. He began his performance with minutes upon minutes (all exaggerations aside) of saying ‘BANTAAA’ (that’s Law saying ‘banter’ with his unusual Canadian/English accent). It was funny to begin with but it soon became a little tedious and I found myself laughing half-heartedly because I felt like I should, or to mask the awkwardness around me. The rest of his performance

was quite good; I enjoyed the reference to his family (who happen to be pirates on one side and Vikings on the other, naturally). This, for me, was the highlight of his time on stage but again, there was quite a bit of repetition (don’t worry, the irony of that sentence is not lost on me).

I’ll remember Tony Law (until I come across him again) as being every batch of crazy.

From his hair to his material to his physical performance on

stage, it’s obvious that this man is insane and has a hell of a lot of energy but it’s not so much Tony Law’s performance that I was impressed by and will remember – it’s the three guys’ performances that (thankfully) made up most of the gig anyway.

Comedy Society has weekly events and will be hauling in some more big names in future so keep an eye out for updates on their Facebook page: www. facebook.com/ucccomedy.

10 | Gaming

November 06, 2012

Is a man dishonoured worse than dead?

Ian O’Sullivan gets down and dirty with Arkane Studios’ latest release to find out...

E

ver played Thief? Neither have I, but apparently it’s great. Really, really great in fact. So great that is the biggest compliment people are paying to Arkane Studios’ Dishonored is that it’s better than Thief. Now, seeing as I’ve never

played Thief that was a really pointless comparison to make, but rest assured Dishonored is great. Really, really, really great.

Dishonored is a first person stealth action game from Arkane Studios. Over nine beautifully constructed sandbox missions, the player has to work their way past an army of guards towards their assassination target. That is the essence of the game, neutralising your targets. To borrow a tired expression, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. And so

it proves here, with the real fun and meat of the game arising from the sheer number of creative and immensely fun ways there are to skin said proverbial cat. It is a game that does away with all of the unnecessary fluff that surrounds most of today’s blockbuster franchises. No online multiplayer or horde modes here, just some good, old-fashioned story driven single player.

Dishonored puts you in the muffled boots of Corvo Attano, disgraced former bodyguard of the late Empress of the city of Dunwall. Framed for her murder,

your first task is to escape from prison. Bethesda really do seem to have a thing for prisons, or at least escaping from them…You are aided in your escape by a group of Loyalists, who know what really happened. They want justice for the Empress a n d send y o u on a number of missions aiming to right t h e usurpe r ’s wrongs and place the Empress’s daughter on the throne.

You’ll try your best to right those very wrongs and along the way meet some very interesting people in some even more interesting places.

The city of Dunwall itself is a work of beauty. Even if does bear a striking resemblance to Half Life 2’s City 17; an assertion that is supported by both games sharing the same art director. The city, based on mid nineteenth century London, is in the midst of a horrific rat plague.

The cityw i d e e p i demic serves as framing for Convo’s adventure.

The city is brought to life by the lore surrounding it. In perhaps a tribute to Bioshock, a series Arkane assisted with, and akin to other Bethesda published series, Fallout and The Elder Scrolls, journals and books are dotted all around the world - each one containing a rich variety of stories, diaries, sea shanties and more. These add tremendously to the experience, giving the player the impression that despite your vengeful mission, the citizens of Dunwall are real people, struggling to survive the plague.

Throughout the game you

will visit a wide variety of locales, starting off in the slums of the Distillery District before visiting each corner of Dunham.

The variety and ingenuity of these areas is really a joy to behold and a credit to the studio’s art team. In terms of graphical quality Dishonored isn’t one for precise detail, instead going for a more water painted style that really helps immerse the player into the world. As I played I wanted to find out more about the world, eagerly reading every note and diary I found, desperate to know more of this fascinating world.

The sound design is good.

Guards chat to each other as you near and weapons sound realistic but it doesn’t go that extra mile. The voice acting is very good, even if the dialogue seems forced at times, it can be quite inspired in spots. Ambient noise helps to further immerse the player, the sounds of seagulls overhead or rats underfoot lend themselves to a wonderfully atmospheric world.

Now I know none of this means anything if the gameplay isn’t up to scratch - well fortunately, it is. While admittedly not perfect, Dishonored’s gameplay really is tremendous fun. The stealth mechanics may not be the most realistic or consistent seen in a stealth game to date, but they certainly make for interesting scenarios.

Combat is based on the use of both of Corvo’s hands.

In his right hand he will always carry his sword, and in his left he may carry a variety of powers or weapons. Convo’s arsenal includes a hand crossbow, pistol or grenade. Each can be upgraded, adding new abilities; the crossbow for example may be modified to fire sleep darts as well as conventional bolts.

The powers are where things get interesting; powers are broken in to two categories, active and passive. Needless to say, the former is the more interesting set of abilities. The first, and most useful of which is Blink.

This allows the player to essentially teleport short distances, and when upgraded, longer ones. This is an essential tool in-game, proving necessary in almost every encounter. Plus it’s heaps of fun.

These abilities would be useless without good gameplay

surrounding them, fortunately Arkane have obliged. The levels are beautifully designed sandboxes, leaving the player to find their own way to their target.

Killing, neutralising or avoiding any guards in the way you want.

The guards’ AI is generally solid, even if the detection system often seems somewhat random, detecting you from long distances one second, then failing to notice you from three feet away even if you are only partially covered in darkness.

For the most part it works well.

The manner in which you deal with the enemies you encounter is entirely up to you. Feel free to go hell for leather from the start, forgoing all pretence of stealth and just going out and stabbing everything in sight.

This is not an e a s y game. I played on norm a l a n d e v e n then I found myself dying pretty quickly anytime I was spotted, hence my more considered approach.

Stealth is definitely the better idea, allowing you plot out your actions and lure the poor guards in to your well laid traps.

There’s no better feeling than hiding in the shadows waiting for a guard to round a corner so you can take him silently, alerting nobody to your devious misdeeds. Granted, on my playthrough I tried, often in vain, not to kill anyone. It’s easier to kill guards than to choke them in to unconsciousness, it takes less time and there are infinitely more ways to do it, such as the

much vaunted drop assassination. But such convenience has its drawbacks; more dead bodies means more rats, more rats is not a good thing. More dead leads to a darker city later in the game, though in truth I never really noticed.

One thing I did notice in Dishonored is how much waiting there is, but not loading times or extended cutscenes, but waiting, biding one’s time, during gameplay. Dishonored’s gameplay is genuinely tense; it makes the player think about every decision they make. That in mind, trust me, save early and often, you won’t regret it.

Dishonored is a great game, one I enjoyed playing immensely, though it has flaws.

The gameplay mechanics can be a bit fiddly, too often did I have to finely adjust my positioning of the reticule for the right prompt to appear, allowing me to Blink up an object rather than to it, something that could cause serious annoyance in combat. The game could also be criticized for drawing too heavily from other games; the dual wielding from Bioshock 2, the architecture from Half-Life 2, sneak mechanics from Thief, as well as a huge resemblance to Deus Ex gameplay wise. But then if Arkane are going to borrow from past games, they may as well copy the best. 9/10.

Gaming | 11

November 06, 2012

Will you answer the Call of Duty?

Gaming Editor Fergal Carroll takes a look at the Call of Duty series ahead of its latest release

W

hen Call of Duty: Black Ops II is released next week it will mark the ninth entry in the main series and the sixth this generation. When Call of Duty: Modern Warfare was first released at the end of 2007 it revolutionised console first person shooters and, in particular, the multiplayer component. At the time it took

the gaming world by storm. It was high octane, addictive, innovative and most of all new. Six years later we are now on the verge of the release of the sixth iterative step the series has taken. Six years is a long time and while many of the gamers that fell in love with the original Modern Warfare formula have changed, that formula has, essentially, remained the same. Maps changed and new killstreaks were introduced but CoD has remained CoD ever since.

As a gamer I have never been one to jump in at the beginning of things. I have only bought three games on release d a y , one of t h e m being Modern W a r fare 2.

It was a game t h a t I lost myself in and played faaar too much. But even that didn’t encourage me to play the sequels, so I doubt I will be playing Blops II anytime soon.

Personally I would love Blops II to totally change the

formula, to shake it up the genre the same way that the original Modern Warfare did back in 2007. Treyarch’s latest offering does include some efforts to change it up. The single player campaign takes place in the 1970s, 1980s and 2025. Treyarch are introducing branching storylines to the campaign for the first time in the form of Strike Force missions. Death in these missions will have a lasting impact on the storyline as well as the choices you make in picking them.

The multiplayer is set exclusively in 2025 and as the meat of the game this is where Treyarch has made some of the biggest changes to the series. Gone are the traditional killstreaks and they are replaced with scorestreaks designed to reward gamers for actively participating in achieving objectives. The old ‘Create a Class’ system has been revamped as well. You now have ten slots to bring want you want into battle. This could be anything from carrying a knife, revolver, and six perks or bringing two primary weapons into battle.

Treyarch have tweaked some of the other ingredients but the overall formula remains the same. The thing I want to

know is - are gamers sick of it yet? I sank over a month (or two) of my life into Modern Warfare 2’s multiplayer but I only played the original Black Ops in September and I’ve briefly played Modern Warfare

3 in the Common Room in college. I’ll readily admit that I am not your average CoD gamer (or ‘bro’ gamer as they are also known) but I clearly want the series to undergo the radical transformation the original MW did. It would be a monumental task and one that I’m sure wouldn’t be able to take place overnight. Perhaps Call of Duty should take a prolonged break? The release of the first next gen console (words I’m using lightly here) takes place in only a few weeks’ time when Nintendo release the Wii U. Maybe Activision should take a step

back, allow both Infinity Ward and Treyarch to have a small bit of R&R and go back to the drawing board for the Call of Duty PS4/ Xbox 720.

Every iteration of Call of Duty since Modern Warfare 2 has broken almost every sales record it could. So sadly, Activision isn’t going to let a cash cow

like that rest any day soon.

Just like its predecessor I expect Black Ops II will break records again. Will you be

answering Treyarch’s call of duty?

You See Me? You Play Me! Gaming Editor Fergal Carroll talks FPSs, is gore crazy and box mad. He also wants you to pray!

The Biggie: Look, I know you are still trying to get that Platinum trophy or 1000 Achievement Points in Assassin’s Creed III but listen, there are more games coming out this year. We are right in the middle of the holiday schedule. I bet you didn’t even know Need For Speed: Most Wanted came out on Friday, did you?! I thought not. It was developed by Criterion, the Burnout folks, so yeah get that game now!

The real lesson here is not to put your head in the sand just yet. This week and next see the latest releases of two of the biggest franchises this generation. On November 6th, Master Chief (or Chef, whichever you prefer) returns in Halo 4. The reins of the series were handed over to 343 Studios after Bungie moved onto pastures new and it’s exciting to see where they will take it.

Halo will always be Halo but I’m hopeful that 343 can give the series a breath of fresh air.

The next game to look out for is a little game named Call of Duty: Black Ops II. What is there to say about this really? It’s CoD, it is Treyarch, it will have multiplayer and you will buy it regardless of what I or anybody else say about it. Treyarch have completely overhauled the way the multiplayer loadouts work this year. Its uses a card based system (well the prototype did!). Finally, all those years playing Yu-Gi-Oh! will pay off!

The Cheapie: This week’s game for the price conscious gamer is Hotline Miami. It is in a similar vein to the recently released Retro City Rampage. HLM has garnered rave reviews and is, frankly speaking, a celebration of the ultraviolent. Games and gamers tend to get a lot of stick for the violence and gore that encompass the industry today. If you are one of the gamers that hand out those hurtful comments you might want to look away. Hotline Miami is brutal, honest and unforgiving. It is a top down shooter that sees you carry out assassinations for a local gang in the most garish manner possible. The more brutal the kill, the more points you get. It is wrapped in an 80s aesthetic and has an 8 bit soundtrack that is eerily similar to Drive’s OST. It isn’t the longest game in the world but you will play it, replay it and then play it some more.

The Freebie: No monies? No worries! If you want some hectic, fast paced box collecting action you MUST download Super Crate Box on the PC. It’s available for free (duh!) from the website www.supercratebox.com or through Steam. The gameplay is simple. You must collect a box to increase your score, each box contains a different weapon and you must dodge, duck and shoot your way to each box. It all takes place on one screen (think old school Donkey Kong type screen) and it doesn’t take long for things to get chaotic, especially on the harder difficulties. So what are you waiting for?! Go get you some boxes!

The Favour: This week I’d like to ask everyone to take the time out of their day and pray for some quality Vita games. The horizon is looking bleak for it with only a handful of quality titles on the way. Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation has received middling reviews and Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified is being developed by nStigate Games (formerly Nihilistic Software). The people who made Resistance: Burning Skies...so yeah. Let’s just pray for the Vita while we all enjoy Persona 4: The Golden.

Cork City to Dublin City & Dublin Airport Tickets for GoBĂŠ are only available to purchase online

> Value Fares > More Legroom > 3hrs City to City > Free Wi-Fi

> > > >

Onboard Toilets Irish Owned Companies Up to 30 services daily Charging Sockets Onboard

www.gobe.ie GoBe_A4 advert.indd 2

28/08/2012 11:17

Features | 13

November 06, 2012

College Dinners : One Deal, Four Meals - €10

H

i guys! Brrr – is anyone feeling the cold?!!

The north wind is definitely blowing and it looks like winter is truly upon us once more - dark nights (and dark mornings – duvet day anyone?) have sent us scampering for our winter woollies in an effort to stay warm yet look cool – no mean achievement for anyone, but a look that is perfected by many on a daily basis… (You know who you are and we salute you).

As you probably all well know (based on experience) student houses are not renowned for their balmy heat. I recall my own college days six of us squashed on the sofa taking advantage of all available free body heat, happy days! A good friend of mine often declared that their house was so cold they used to open the windows to leave in the heat – hopefully times have changed and your experience is not quite as bleak but if you’re feeling the draft then at least you can take some comfort in our recipe choice for this week - it’s a real winter warmer guaranteed to insulate you from the inside out!!

Pasta and Chicken Hotpot (Prep: 15 mins / Cook: 40 mins)

What you need 1 onion (finely chopped) 1 carrot (peeled and diced) 1-2 potatoes (peeled and sliced)

that window open??

wide

Competition Time

Congrats to our recent competition winner, Orla Mills who won a hamper to create “Dinner for Four” which included T-Bone Steaks, Garlic Potatoes, Carrots Julienne, Belgian Chocolate Tartlets and a bottle of Pinot Grigio - Well done Orla!

Now for this week’s competition!

Up for grabs is a €40 HMV gift voucher – it could have your name on it! Answer the following question to be in with a chance of winning this great prize!

Q. What time does Collegedinners commence deliveries every Monday?

A-4pm B-6pm C-7pm (Check out our website if you need a little help).

1 chicken fillet (finely chopped) Handful Dried Pasta (fusilli) Chicken Stock Cube(500ml) 1 teaspoon of cumin (optional but gives a lovely flavour) 1 tablespoon of parsley How to make it 1.

Heat oil in saucepan and add your onion and chicken and cook on a medium heat for 5-6 minutes.

2.

Add you carrots, potatoes and chicken stock and cover and simmer for approx. 15/20 minutes.

3.

Add a fistful of dried pasta and your cumin and parsley and cook for a further 10-12 minutes until pasta is cooked.

4.

Season with salt and pepper.

5.

Serve with some thick crusty bread.

So what have you created?

A filling, flavoursome all in one meal with only one pot to wash at the end of your cuisine endeavours – well we do try to make cooking for oneself (and ones friends) as easy as possible.

And, to make life even easier, this recipe is ideal for making in large batches and freezes really well so you can have dinner on the table in a matter of minutes after a hectic day. Don’t forget to take it out of the freezer the night before and leave it in the fridge overnight to defrost...

Email your answer to info@collegedinners.ie with your name and contact number.

Competition closes on Thursday 15th November.

Don’t forget to check out our website www.collegedinners. ie to have 4 dinners delivered to your door any week for just So bring on those winter €10. days, wrap up warm and enjoy some tasty mouth warm- Good luck guys and have a ing meals– cold outside but great week! toasty on the inside – bliss.

Now which one of you left Happy cooking!

14 | Fashion

November 06, 2012

The Moss Effect With today’s celebrity culture, the word ‘Icon’ cannot be applied too easily, but Nicole Clinton explains why Kate Moss is deserving of the title.

W

hen I came across a programme on Sky Arts a few months ago entitled ‘Kate Moss: Creating an Icon’ I was intrigued, not just because I have a personal fascination with the supermodel’s perfectly imperfect beauty and style, but also because I was interested in what makes her an Icon. Unfortunately, the programme never actually achieved its goal of explaining why Moss could be deemed an icon. However, it got me thinking: ‘What is the reason for her iconic status and her long reign over the fashion world?’ And this is my answer....

She was the last supermodel. Fashion bible Vogue was correct last year when they exclaimed in their article ‘The History of the Supermodel’ that “after Kate, models just weren’t super anymore”. She

was the last model to reach the level of fame or notoriety that made her recognisable to even the least fashion conscious. Whether that’s down to modern society’s short attention span or that today’s models fail to exude that special something, nobody can deny that it would be difficult to select a new model with a status equal to Kate’s, even in her early years.

There are two stages in the history of the fashion model: Before Kate and After Kate.

Previous to the arrival of Moss, supermodels like Cindy Crawford and Christy Brinkley were voluptuous, 6 foot tall, beautyqueen-esque creatures. On the contrary Kate’s teeth were slightly crooked, her skin was covered in moles and at 5

foot 7, she would have been considered a dwarf in the fashion world. After her arrival, modelling agents and designers lowered

their minimum height requirements and began to give skinny girls with strong cheekbones priority over the

rest. This was partly a result of the rebellious era that was the 1990’s but fashion experts agree that Moss was a huge factor in changing the face of modelling.

Kate Moss caused controversy. Her first photo shoot for British magazine The Face with fashion photographer Corrine Day in 1990, established her scandalous ‘super-waif ’ image.

She appeared in a grotty flat, her skeletal frame wearing a thong and a stringy top. In her early years she was blamed for everything from anorexia in young girls to elder women’s self-hatred. Even Bill Clinton, the President of the United States, attacked her for promoting the ‘Heroin Chic’ look during the nineties. The fact that the President took any notice of

what a British model looked like just personified her influence. In fact, Moss was given the blame for a lot of society’s problems but people forget that she didn’t put herself in a magazine or award herself a designer contract. Fashion houses and magazine editors responded to her allure and used it to their advantage.

One could also add that : She inspired the style of a generation or two, has been the muse for a legion of designers, appeared on the cover of British Vogue alone over 30 times, dated Johnny Depp, designed for Topshop and pole-danced in a White Stripes video. She lost most of her fashion contracts following her cocaine scandal in 2005 but regained them in no time. Why? Because she’s Kate Moss. And she’s an icon…

Word of Mouth Lipstick is a winter staple, but it doesn’t come without its perils. Here, Ruth Ní Leannacháin contemplates the dos and don’ts of the world’s most consistent make-up product.

T

he New York Times have described it as an economic indicator and everyone from tomboy Alexa Chung to ultimate glamour pin-up Dita Von Teese is at it, but whilst red lipstick has been a staple of women’s make-up bags since

ancient Mesopotamia, it still seems to be something we struggle to figure out. To help you make the right choice here’s a quick guide to help you on your way.

Matte or Gloss? This is the first question I always ask myself when considering a lipstick. Gloss is feminine and modern but with Irish weather as it is, it’s likely you’ll end up with more hair on your lips than lipstick. Matte is my preference, it’s classic and easier to wear with a little preparatory work. To avoid the chapped

look ensure to exfoliate your lips using a lip scrub or an extra soft tooth brush and then apply a moisturiser (I recommend Burt’s Bees or some ChapStick). Wait for it to absorb and you’re good to go.

It is undeniable that the most important thing to take into account when choosing lipstick is its undertone.

If you’re self conscious about your teeth, a blue undertone will make them appear whiter, but an orange undertone should be avoided at all costs, unless you’re after the Pete Doherty look. If in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask for a tester as most counters

will be more than happy to let you road-test the shade before making the all important commitment. A red lipstick is definitely not something you should purchase without seeing it on your lips, a swatch on the back of your hand will not suffice.

Thanks to its rise in popularity again, there seems to be red lipstick for everyone’s taste and budget. While we would all, in an ideal world, splash out on something like Chanel’s La Fasinate–the ultimate old school red- Mac’s Ruby Woo or Lady Danger are excellent dupes. If Mac is still a little too expensive,

the Kate Moss collection for Rimmel has offerings to everyone’s taste, from a vampy burgundy to a bright daytime red and if you’re feeling extra daring, you can even opt for a deep purple.

The last thing to remember when contemplating a red lip is lip liner. Lipstick without lip liner is like eyeliner without mascara, not bad, but not right. Always choose a shade brighter than your lipstick of choice and apply all over the lip. This not only helps you achieve a better shade, but if insure sure your lipstick stays in place all night.

November 06, 2012

Fashion | 15

Strange Muses Ever wonder where designers get their inspiration? Julia Frazer delves into the world of the muse.

A

s the years have progressed, the concept of the muse has morphed from that of ancient Greek goddesses invoked by famous poets such as Homer and Virgil. Muses today have traded the long draped gowns of their predecessors for edgy haircuts and smart suits.

Gone are Calliope, Clio, Erato, and Euterpe. Muses now sport names like Jane Birkin, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and Edie Sedgwick. The word muse is used to describe the glittering, aspirational socialites who engender excellence from top couture houses. The names of the most famous of muses are emblazoned in the annals of fashion history. However, the concept of the muse seems to have evolved once more to something beyond the ideal of the beautiful woman. ~~ Karl Lagerfeld has never had a shortage of inspiration for his iconic collections. His most recent muse, a newcomer to the fashion world, has been garnering a great deal of attention. She is delicate and petite with large blue eyes, and she rarely smiles.

The mysterious Choupette has lived with the head designer of Chanel for the past year and has since served as inspiration for Lagerfeld’s recent work.

Despite the fact that she lives with one of the most notorious names in fashion, Choupette will never be able to wear the clothes Lagerfeld designs. This is because she is actually a purebred Siamese cat.

Lagerfeld has developed an almost obsessive interest in the cat, who has her own Twitter account as well as two personal maids. Lagerfeld has had cat-inspired

photo shoots, such as a recent spread in W. In January 2012, Lagerfeld showed a couture collection full of blue garments reminiscent of Choupette’s baby-blues. Actress

~~ Zahia Dehar has become so infamous in France that she is only called by her first name. Although she is conventionally attractive, she

an icon.”

She became well known not because of her good looks, but for a huge sex scandal. In fact, she was a teenage prostitute who serviced a French

and former model Diane Kruger confirms in an interview with Vanity Fair that “an entire collection was inspired by his cat’s eyes.” According to fashion journalist Cathy Horyn, there will soon be a “Choupette” bag, knitted and soft, to be sold at Chanel.

does not align with the classic beauty ideals of, say, Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly. Her hair is bleached blonde, and she sports dark cat-eye makeup. A recent press release by the now-20 year old declares the following: “Zahia, an artist, a stylist, a muse, and soon

footballer when she was just seventeen years old.

Since the scandal broke, Zahia has attained unbelievable fame under careful celebrity tutelage. For whatever reason, she has become a fashion muse rather than a public embarrassment. She

has taken buzz that would normally stigmatize and turned it into a lucrative career. Huge names in art and fashion, such as aforementioned Karl Lagerfeld, have guided her newfound fashion career. She has walked in Paris fashion week, been on covers of international magazines, and has been photographed by Pierre et Gilles and David LaChapelle. ~~ Jedward have become a cultural phenomenon all over Europe. The pair of handsome Irish pop stars, with their matching mile-high blonde hair, rose to fame after their stint in the reality competition The X Factor. The duo has not had as clear-cut a route to roles as members of the fashion elite as Zahia or Choupette. Last month, inexplicably to many fashion commentators, the pair was spotted sitting in the front row for Dsquared2’s Milan show. Of course, they also wore matching custom-designed outfits by Dean + Dan Caten of Dsquared2, which they later modelled for the Spring 2013 lookbook.

Jedward did not end their time at Milan with Dsquared2, but were also invited personally by Roberto Cavalli to attend the Italian designer’s Milan show. As evidenced by the Twitter conversations between the three, Cavalli has become quite fond of Jedward. Indeed, Cavalli hosted the two for a vacation on his luxurious pleasure yacht. If Cavalli’s warm reception of Jedward is any indication, it is only a matter of time before we see more designers taking a shine to the fashionable twosome. Will we be seeing collections inspired by their eyes, or perhaps their famous pompadours, next season?

16 | Colour

ExpressIt

November 06, 2012 The people are real.

The problems are real.

The advice is questionable...

Dear ExpressIt, Recently my girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me out of the blue. I was devastated as you would expect but I thought I was handling it pretty well. That was until I discovered she is now hooking up with a close friend of mine. I don’t know who to be angrier with or who to blame. What do I do? --- BackStabbed He says: Wow! That is low to say the least. It would be bad enough if it was just some chick you were with for a few weeks, but a six month girlfriend! My god that is bad form, especially from a close friend. I hope your friends are siding with you on this one because no person with any sense of right and wrong would condone this, and if they don’t then you better get rid of them and be more careful next time you make friends.

What I can’t get over is what an absolute bastard your friend is. Everything he has done has gone again The Bro Code. As every guy knows The Bro Code specifically states in Article 150 - A bro never dates a bros ex-girlfriend (unless granted permission). He should have asked permission before he allowed anything to happen, the reason he didn’t is because he’s a spineless creature, simple as.

I’m gonna try and waste as little time talking about your ex because she is a heartless bitch for her part in this. You should not try to get back at her or insult her, just be happy that you didn’t waste any more of your life with such a witch.

Now that you are free from such an ungodly burden you can get back out there and find the girl who will actually love you back.

She says: Count yourself lucky kid. She could have done worse and cheated on you with him while you were still together. At least she had the decency to end it with you before she acted on any feelings for your friend. I understand that you must have been upset after the break up but you need to speed up that recovery! Dude, man up and just be happy that your friend, who I can only assume cannot get a girl of his own, has found someone to ride him. You shouldn’t be upset; he has your sloppy seconds. Don’t blame him he was only thinking with his dick like most, if not all, lads. Again he didn’t do anything while you were with her so we’ll give him some credit for being a good friend!

Here’s what you’re going to do. You need a rebound to get over your relationship and what better place to find this than with one of her friends. Trust me I’m a girl and I know that this is the best way to get her back. Hook up with one of her closest friends and give her a taste of her own medicine. Don’t get mad, get even.

Dear ExpressIt, This Halloween was crazy in every sense of the word. I had an awesome Batman costume (always wanted one since I was a kid) and I met the most amazing girl ever. She was dressed as a Cat. We were having a brilliant time together but when I was coming back from the toilet these two guys dressed as The Joker and The Penguin tackled me to the ground while screaming ‘it’s simple, WE KILL THE BATMAN’ This led to us all being kicked out. I need to find this girl. Please help me find her. - I’mBatman She says: I need to give you a quick reality check my young, innocent and naive friend.

Was this “cat” reminiscent a Victoria secrets outfit or more along the lines of an actual feline? My guess, and I know I’m going to be right, is that she was wearing lingerie and cat ears. On Tuesday night before Halloween I walked from the library to the Student Centre and I encountered no fewer than 5 “cats”. I wish I was joking but I’m completely serious unfortunately.

Today’s college students have about as much imagination when it comes to Halloween as our parents did when they put us in bin bags and threw a mask on us. Girls simply see Halloween as an excuse to dress as inappropriate as possible and get away with it. To achieve the correct level of sluttiness the formula is simple. Lingerie + animal ears + knee high socks = Halloween costume.

You will never find this Cat you shifted. And may I be so bold as to say that you are probably better off as you probably would have caught something worse than fleas from her.

Next time go for the girl in the funny costume, at least she’ll have a sense of humour and not an STD. He says: Aww man I would be so pissed, but to be fair they did make it funny by screaming that. I do feel for you though. It’s pretty rare that you can meet somebody out clubbing that you really connect with, mainly because we are all highly intoxicated and ridiculously horny so I’m gonna give you as much help as I can. Also if you say otherwise and you actually go out thinking you are going to find your soul mate every night then you are more than likely destined to become a crazy cat lady.

This is now an official search for your mystery Cat Woman. If by any chance there is a young woman out there in our monumental audience who dressed up like a cat, who made an extremely deep physical and spiritual connection with a dark, handsome titanic of a Batman which mysteriously disappeared on them, please get in contact with us at The Express.

If this actually works and we get you two together then I am definitely getting to choose your firstborns name. At the moment the short list consists of Kurt Angle, Ray Podonky and Diggs McCoy. Best of luck with your search my man, I seriously hope this works out for you and I am definitely going to get my Nan to light a candle for you in the church.

New Corker | 17

November 06, 2012

The Importance of Punctuality (a day in the life) ... If you saw a letter on the street and there was nobody around, what would you do....?

I awoke near the crack of Dawn. Too near, as it turned out. I tried fanning the bedsheets to waft away the smell, but to no avail.

I went out for a jog to get some fresh air, and glanced bitterly at my neighbour’s hedge. Last year I tried unsuccessfully to use it for hurdling practice, and I’ve never gotten over it since.

Every ego trip has a bumpy landing.

I’m no stranger to danger;

we’re Facebook friends. Well, technically ‘Danger’ is his confirmation name, because his parents wouldn’t let him change his middle name.

Luckily, he’s doing the same course as me, so I was able to skip today’s lecture and pop into town to do some food shopping.

As I approached the supermarket, I noticed a letter on the pavement outside. As I got closer it became apparent that there was a large queue outside the front door.

Being an honest individual, I decided to return the letter to its rightful owner, no matter how difficult that might prove to be. I picked up the

Lisa Hannigan 07-May-2010 The word fucktioning is used in the film human traffic.. It was made in the 90’s. Were not original :( I never seen that film so....

Yeah but still. It’s proof.

Good gig?

Ya shes class. I don’t think I’m in the right mood/company for it though. Dunno where eoin and ashley are. Hungry and got a headache. People talking away behind me. Cosy setting.

Music is all nice and stuff. Might be nice to hang out with her, in a Galtee add. might be a bit too much like a galtee add- hanging out with her. Drummer is class, same is trumpet accordion box typewriter player. Bass and drums are really smooth together, good duo. Lisa’s nice, charming to innocence, or appealing to parents. Shes got birthday wishes and a semi seethrough dress under the lights. Can’t deny the music is very, fluent.

So god damn sentimental. Every song one after the next is in love with itself. And all its delicate stops and starts and fireside drums and midnight bridge trumpet.

Music for the ignorant, she can not convince me.

She can not convince me her life is how she plays it.

It is real pretty though. Pretty for lovers, ignorant lovers, happy people.

She should hand out treats. Or tinsel, this should be on a beach or in an ad.

In a dance, I can not breath this. My air supply is tight.

And wow, I couldn’t see through the pillar and a stranger just offered me her place, because I’m “more interested” than she is. And wow the world is peaceful, people are generous, people are kind. They want to be. They want to be like Lisa’s music. They can be, if they try. So can i.

letter, pushed the large queue through the door, and asked to speak to the manager. I handed him the large letter Q and explained that it had probably fallen off the sign outside (which now said Super*uinn”).

Next on my list was the butcher’s. I asked for a bit of chicken and he asked if I was a breast or a leg man. Unsure of what direction the conversation had taken, I changed my order and asked for lamb instead. I thought I might have offended him because he gave me the cold shoulder, but he assured me that it was a fresh cut of meat, and had only been in the freezer since this morning.

I passed by a pub on my way home. There was a vacancy for bar staff advertised in the window, so I asked about it and the bar manager asked me to demonstrate how I would serve a pint of Guinness to a customer. I had no bar experience whatsoever, so I tried to pull a fast one and ended up losing the head. When you don’t have a leg to stand on, you take a leap of faith. And sometimes you get caught on the hop.

On my way out, I was distracted by the loudest of a group of drunk businessmen telling the others to charge their glasses, so I got out my student credit card and followed suit.

I got back to the house around 6pm. Joy would be here soon, so I dived into the kitchen frantically searching for ingredients. In my panic, I knocked over the herbs and spices rack, and thus ended up with plenty of thyme on my hands, which I then added to the recipe. I also put my blood, sweat and tears into the recipe, because I wanted to be authentic and use only “100pc natural

R. Sole

ingredients”. I’d have put my heart and soul into it too, but Joy says that I have a heart of gold, and I was afraid that it might interfere with the flavour of the marinade. As for the second potential addition, I was already serving haddock as a starter.

It was a lot of effort and at the end I had a crick in my neck. I was tempted to ask Joy for a quick massage, but she is very proud of her skills to date and I didn’t want her to rub it in.

Joy had some great news; she had been accepted into the postgraduate programme she wanted. She’d been saying for the last three months that she’d kill to get into it, but for legal reasons that wasn’t part of the matriculation requirements, and nobody asked for any evidence of it during registration either.

However, she’d already had an argument with one of her housemates; words had been exchanged and she clearly felt that she had been short-changed on the transaction. I didn’t need to hear the details to identify the solution; she needed to swallow her pride, hold her tongue and eat her words (though not necessarily at the same time). Violence rarely solves anything... apart from the occasional crossword clue for eight letters.

However, I also knew that following my own advice was my own best option, so I nodded sympathetically and agreed with her my-opic perspective on events.

Afterwards, we retired to the bedroom, where I made sure to be patient, considerate and generous. As everybody knows, spreading Joy is its own reward.

18 | Photos

Alan Desmond, PhD Candidate in the Faculty of Law, is presented with a prize by, Mícheál Mac Giolla Easbuic, President of Oireachtas na Gaeilge, and Máirín de Búrca, Chairperson of Oireachtas na Gaeilge, for his book for adult learners of Irish, An Gaeilgeoir Grámhar, at the annual Oireachtas na Gaeilge literary awards. Photo: Manus O’Callaghan.

November 06, 2012

Katherine Lynch, Branch Manager AIB College Road presenting Sponsorship Cheque to Dr Chrys Ngwa and Aoife O'Donoghue, both of Tyndall National Institute. Photo: AIB.

UCC Orienteering Club’s Halloween “Fright Night” was a great success with dozens of participants hunting for control flags while frantically running from vampires just waiting to put them out of the game. With plans to make this an annual event, it looks like UCCO are on the rise! Photos: Kevin Murphy.

November 06, 2012

UCC Student’s Union and the national Union of Students in Ireland (USI) at yesterday’s protest against further hikes in fees and further cuts to the maintenance grant. Photo courtesy of Laura Harmon.

Photos | 19

Above: UCC Choral Society and UCC LGBT Society collaborated for their annual Halloween “Sing-Along Cinema” of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with fancy dress very much encouraged. It was a great success with some very imaginative costumes from rag dolls and mad scientists to the internet sensation ‘Nyan Cat.’ Photos: Kevin Murphy.

20 | Sports

November 06, 2012

A Footballer’s Guide to Twitter Kevin Galvin

S

o you’ve made it to the professional ranks! You’ve signed your contract, picked up your free gear and posed for the cameras with your name proudly emblazoned on the back of your club’s shirt. Now that you’re home, what’s there to do? Sky Sports News is an option, before you get sick of looking at your own grinning mug, and as you flick through endless football websites you begin to settle into the innate boredom that all your fellow pros suffer, if only there was a way to beat the boredom…

But wait, there is! You can now tell the world exactly how you feel uncensored by press officers, get thousands of followers hanging on your every word, share private jokes with people who haven’t

the man who people love to hate! You can’t possibly lose, and you’ll be following in a long list of legends like Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand and Emmanuel Frimpong!

Pretend to be intelligent: Also known as the ‘Joey Barton’ technique. Copy and paste wise words, and preach the good word of some bands your music loving buddy likes. Get your PA to read you the newspaper (explaining all the tough bits) and give your opinions on what’s going on in the world outside football (perish the thought!). Hopefully this will convince some people into believing you’re not a bad soul after all, despite your disgraceful actions on the pitch.

Take pictures of your teammates asleep: Everybody loves a good sleeping photo right? The best place to get these is on the bus/train/plane on the way back

Fixtures, Results, Standings Basketball Mens SuperLeague Results: UCC Demons 83 DCU Saints 82 (K Walker 23, S Coughlan 16, C Cuff 15) UCC Demons 89 Killester 78 (N O’Reilly 24, K Walker 22, C Cuff 18)

Freshers Division 1B Result: Waterford IT 4-9 UCC 4-15 Fixture: Mon 12th Nov: Limerick IT – UCC @ TBC in Kildorrey Thu 15th Nov: UCC – Cork IT @5pm in the Mardyke Ladies Gaelic Football HEC League Division 1B Result: UL 7-13 UCC 4-7 Fixture: Thu 8th Nov: UCC – Mary Immaculate @ 7.30pm in the Mardyke

Fixtures: Fri 9th Nov: Dublin Inter – UCC Demons @ 7.15pm in the National Arena Sat 17th Nov: UCC Demons – Moycullen @ 5pm in the Mardyke Camogie: CCAO League Division 1 Result: UCC 1-8 UL 3-9

Rugby (Mens) All-Ireland League Division 2A Results: Old Crescent 31 UCC 49 (S Óg Murphy 2 pens, 4 cons; B Quill, D Horgan, C Gallagher, O Dennehy, P McCabe, D Foley & W Ryan all 1 try) UCC 10 Bective Rangers 8 (S Raimondi try, S Óg Murphy pen, con)

Fixtures: Tue 6th Nov: Mary Immaculate – UCC @ 2.30pm in Limerick Thu 8th Nov: Waterford IT – UCC @ 7pm in Waterford Wed 14th Nov: UCC – NUIG @ 7.30pm in the Mardyke Gaelic Football Higher Education Senior Football League Division 1C Result: UCC 2-14 IT Tralee 0-14 Fixture: Wed 7th Nov: Cork IT – UCC @7.30pm in Cork IT Quarter-finals provisionally scheduled for Tue 13th Nov

a clue what’s going on, and it’s only 140 characters so it hardly takes any effort at all! This wonderful invention is known as Twitter, and has close to 100 million users online. But wait, you can’t just jump straight in. As a footballer it is your duty to follow these steps, and become the consummate footballing twit!

Username: First thing’s first, create a username. Now you could come up with something that’s frankly absolutely hilarious, imaginative and witty, that however requires effort; being a professional footballer you work hard enough. Last name followed by shirt number, job done!

If you eat it, picture it: The world needs to know your consumption patterns. Much like grace many moons ago, no bite is allowed be taken until you whip out your smart phone, take a few snaps (preferably the exact view you see it from, so the world can see life through the eyes of a top footballer) and put it up for the world and his dog to see. Bon appetite!

Fight with Piers Morgan: Nothing’s better to boost your following than a good ol’ fashioned Twitter dust up with

from a game, where bonus points will be achieved for open mouths or drooling.

Don’t forget to use #lol, just in-case people don’t understand that you find this hilarious. But why wouldn’t they?!

Abuse officials: If, for some absurd reason, none of these things work and people still find you an annoying prat not worthy of following, it’s time to get controversial! Subbed early? Unfair penalty?

Got something to say to Sepp Blatter?

Why not put it on Twitter?! Call Howard Webb a cheat, or Platini corrupt and see your Twitter stardom rocket! People love watching a train wreck as it leaves the tracks, so they’re bound to follow your latest tirade about who’s to blame.

So there you have it! As your footballing career begins to slide you’ll find yourself using this service more and more.

Hopefully someday you’ll reach the heights of Ashley Cole and Joey Barton as players who are known as well for their hash-tags as for their headers. If you follow these six steps so simple even a Stoke fan could follow them, then you’ll be well on your way to the Twitter Hall of Fame!

Fixture: Sat 17th Nov: Greystones – UCC @ 2.30pm in Dr Hickey Park

Freshers’ Division 1D Result: UCC 1-20 Cork IT 1-13 (UCC finished 1st in their group)

Rugby (Ladies) CUSAI Womens Division 1 Fixtures: Wed 7th Nov: UCC – NUIG @ TBC in the Farm Wed 14th Nov: UL – UCC @ TBC in UL

Quarter-final Fixture: UCC – UUJ @ 2pm in TBC

Soccer (Mens) Fai Intermediate Cup 2nd round Fixture:

Semi-finals provisionally scheduled for Tue 13th Nov

UCC 6 Ballincollig 1 (J O’Shea 4, S Holland 2)

Hockey (Mens) Irish Senior Cup round 1 Result: YMCA 9 UCC 0

Munster Senior League Premier Division Result: UCC 2 Everton 0 (E Kilcommons, A Neville)

Munster League Division 1 Fixture: Sat 10th Nov: UCC – Church of Ireland B @ TBC in the Mardyke Sat 17th Nov: UCC – Bandon @ TBC in the Mardyke Hockey (Ladies) Munster League Division 1 Result: UL 0 UCC 5 (S Bowe 2, A McGrath, R O’Hanlon, O Roycroft)

Fixture: Sat 10th Nov: UCC – Mayfield United @2pm in the Farm Sun 18th Nov: Douglas Hall – UCC @ TBC in Moneygourney

Hurling Higher Education Senior Hurling League Division 1B Result: IT Carlow 2-17 UCC 1-16

Soccer (Ladies) WSCAI Womens Premier League South Result: IT Tralee 2 UCC 0

UCC – Waterford IT played on Mon 5th Nov, after going to print

Fixtures: Wed 7th Nov: Mary Immaculate – UCC @12pm in Limerick IT Tue 13th Nov: UCC – Cork IT @12pm in the Farm

Fixtures: Thu 8th Nov: Cork IT – UCC @ 7.30pm in Cork IT Quarter-finals provisionally scheduled for Wed 14th Nov

All fixtures are subject to change.

Sports | 21

November 06, 2012

Opportunity knocks for Munster’s Hurley Stephen Barry

I

n an interview for the UCC Express almost three weeks ago, it was far from the green jersey of Ireland that was on Denis Hurley’s mind. With Ronan O’Gara’s injury leaving a hole in the backline, Hurley was focused on regaining and retaining the Munster fullback jersey that he had lost to Ian Keatley for the Heineken Cup opener against Racing Métro.

One bonus point victory over Edinburgh later and things were looking up for Hurley. However for every day in the sun, there’s six days of weights, drills and sacrifice, and more painfully for Hurley every day in the sun seems to be countered by a day on the bench as he has repeatedly been asked to step aside since his 2008 breakthrough. “It’s a hard thing to say too much…

I mean whatever job you’re doing you want to be part of the final project or whatever it is.

But to be told, you know, listen, step aside, there’s someone else we want to put in instead of you; it’s always a hard thing to take.”

This is why the events of the past week will seem like a job promotion for Hurley, who got a late call-up to the Irish squad on Wednesday. Again his inclusion came at another’s expense with Brian O’Driscoll missing out through injury.

However Hurley will be nonetheless keen to stake a claim for the full-back spot vacated

by O’Driscoll’s treatment room companion, Rob Kearney.

Hurley’s first stint as a starter for Munster came just in time for the 2008 quarterfinal against Gloucester, where he was thrown in at the deep end by current Irish coach Declan Kidney. Hurley held his position for the remainder of that tournament and ended up with the Heineken Cup in his hands. Having previously repaid Kidney’s faith in him, Hurley will have his fingers crossed that Kidney will throw

him in at the deep-end again when Ireland face the Springboks next weekend, or at least during some stage of Ireland’s Autumn Internationals. If such a scenario occurs it would be Hurley’s second Irish cap after his cameo debut against the USA in May 2009.

However despite that recent bonus Hurley will have to watch on as Jones gets his first run in the Munster number fifteen jersey since his injury worries began last season.

“I think the two of us have known each other for the last five or six years and we have a knowledge between the two of us, that one is going to be in and the other is going to be out at the moment.”

All the same it’s a long way from the Mardyke for Hurley who joins fellow UCC graduates Donnacha Ryan, Mike Ross and Ronan O’Gara in the Irish squad. However Hurley appeared in the red and black of UCC as recently as February, as the college remained Hurley’s home club until their

relegation to Division 2A of the All-Ireland League. Having returned to play for the college last year, a new rule means that contracted players can’t play in the lower two divisions, signalling an end to Hurley’s time playing in the Mardyke.

“It’s disappointing I suppose because when I came to Cork

first, it was where I started playing and I’d have great support for what they’re doing.

It’s a tough team to get right because they’re so young and they lose so many players by the age of 21 or 22.”

The full interview with Denis Hurley can be found on uccexpress.net.

world has never been more impeded upon than in relation to racism. Our sport has become plagued by this cancer, which stems down to the inability of football’s governing bodies to condemn racists within the game.

Weak judgements on the part of talented players have culminated in high profiled court cases and FA inquiries such as the Suarez - Evra case.

Although “no one else on the field of play” heard the alleged foul-mouthed rant, Suarez was found guilty of using “insulting words,” fined and handed an eight-match ban. Media outlets began bombarding the topic, with the back of every newspaper highlighting this soul-destroying issue.

Just as the flames began to diminish, John Terry came under scrutiny for supposedly aiming racial abuse at Anton Ferdinand. This inevi-

tably erected the debate again, putting immense pressure on officials to act appropriately in diffusing discrimination amongst players. However, one can’t help but feel a sense of injustice, judging by the mere sentence that these villains receive. Many critics argue that extensive legal ramifications would help conquer such malicious behaviour, acting as a remedy to this almost uncontainable disease.

Respected figures stand behind the ‘Kick It Out’ campaign, an initiative that generates awareness with the hope of eradicating racism from the playing surface. Despite at times becoming actively involved on behalf of their players, managers recognise its shortcomings in dealing with racism. Sir Alex Ferguson has called on the FA to work closely with FIFA and UEFA in combating this capital of-

fence. It is now time we put a stop to the injustices exercised by the few breakaway offenders, making strides towards a movement that will gather pace in eliminating the n-word from the profession. We must let those who can affect change have their say without ever condemning a man fighting race-related transgressions.

Social networking sites have become a means of channelling occurrences of racism in football worldwide. Rio Ferdinand’s infamous ‘choc ice’ tweet, directed at Ashley Cole after the Terry racism trial, was deemed improper conduct as it re-ignited tensions and was seen as a stumbling block on the road to progression. Racism continues to divide the sport, with many influential characters refusing to acknowledge the PFA and other anti-racism groups’ efforts in detaining the spread of

anti-sporting behaviour. The idea of a separate Black Players’ Association would appear as something of an apartheid and a huge step backwards in reaching the much sought after ‘promised land.’

As long as competition remains rife within sport, there will continue to be the classical ‘banter’ amongst competitors and spectators. However, as in all walks of life, inconsiderate and vulgar minorities remain intent on having their voices heard. These culprits should be singled out and made an example of, which will prove instrumental in the battle against racism. It is about time we silenced the doubters, by allowing the culprits to incur the wrath of those who value human decency within rivalry.

Kick It Out Dylan White

T

he beautiful game has exhilarated fanatics across the globe for centuries, with its flamboyant Brazilian influence bringing a sense of ecstasy and unrivalled passion amongst enthusiasts.

However with this sense of divine genius comes the feeling of opprobrium as the epidemic that is racism implodes upon football. Suddenly, as the shackles within the empire begin to collapse, football no longer evokes that attractive quality that has united millions in triumph and tragedy.

English football has had more than its fair share of controversy throughout the decades. Whether we ponder the catastrophe of the 1958 Munich air disaster or the turmoil of the whole Hillsborough investigations, the footballing

22 | Sports

November 06, 2012

Hard-fought first home win for rugby seniors Cian Donnellan UCC Bective Rangers

U

10 8

CC continued they’re good start to this season’s AIL Division 2A season with an incredibly hard fought win over Bective Rangers in a cold and wet Mardyke last Saturday. The conditions played a massive role in the game with the greasy surface and wet ball making it difficult for either side to really grab an upper hand in a game littered with handling errors from both sides.

Of the two sides, Bective started brighter and began putting phases together and attempted an early drop-goal which drifted well wide; but it was from this that UCC registered their first score of the game. A quick 22 drop-out found tighthead prop

Brian Scott and, after a few phases, the UCC pack dismantled the Bective scrum to win a penalty that was duly slotted by Sean Óg Murphy. Four minutes later the scores were levelled when handling errors allowed Bective an easy shot at goal that they’re centre duly took.

From that point on UCC really came into the game a lot more. Number 8 Willie Ryan was carrying a huge amount of ball time and time again and his delicate off-loads had UCC on the front foot. Ryan himself was unlucky not to get in for a try in the corner when he was on the end of a slick backs move but a knock on in the ruck ended the move close to the Bective line.

Although UCC had more chances, their try didn’t come until the 36th minute. As the heavens opened, a sweet move off a lineout in their own half saw Ryan bursting down field.

His awareness of Luke Duffy on his outside allowed the centre to send Sylvain Raimondi into the corner for the score. Murphy converted for a 10-3 lead.

On the stroke of half time, Ryan was yet again at the heart of the action as he released his back row partner Johnny McCarthy but he was brought down agonisingly close to the line and it came to nothing.

Down by 7 points at half time, Bective came out all guns blazing and, almost immediately from the kick-off, they were over for a try. Poor defending let Bective inch closer to the UCC line and then four easy passes across the backline saw the Bective full-back slide over for the try. The conversion somehow managed to lose all momentum mid-flight and bounced off the crossbar much to the relief of the UCC players. That miss would prove to be costly as the

match remained scoreless from then on.

Both sides, now really struggling with the conditions, began to cancel each other out.

UCC were being pinned into their own corners time and time again but were able to withstand the pressure and clear. Ryan continued his lung-busting display with countless runs with ball in hand and on a few occasions was unlucky that the final pass just didn’t go to hand.

Meanwhile scrum half Daryl Foley remained solid under every high ball that was sent his way over the course of the game.

With 20 minutes remaining, Bective had their best chance to win this game. A break by their Number 8 saw him clear of the UCC defence. UCC were lucky that the only person in support was the Bective hooker. A magnificent scramble defence saw him dragged down on the 5 me-

ter line and a turnover followed.

In the final minutes, Luke Duffy was unlucky not to extend UCC’s lead on two occasions.

In the first instance, the centre didn’t spot his support on the outside following a blistering break and then near the end, he capitalised on a Bective mistake but he was turned over close to the line.

All in all, UCC showed a massive amount of resilience to find the win and this should stand them in good stead for further games through the league campaign.

UCC: S Dinan; S Raimondi, N Hodson, L Duffy, O Dennehy; S Óg Murphy, D Foley; P McCabe, K Stokes, B Scott; B Quill, D O’Connell; C Gallagher, J McCarthy, W Ryan.

Replacements: M O’Mahony, S Moynihan, D McSweeney, J Fitzgerald, R Barry.

Hungry for gold: Entering the 1936 Olympics as favourite to win lightweight boxing gold, Thomas Hamilton-Brown suffered a shock first round loss.

As disappointment set in, the boxer went on an eating binge resulting in a weight gain of 5 pounds. Days later he received a message saying there had been a mistake in the scores of his fight and he was allowed to re-enter the tournament.

However unable to lose the weight gained from his binge, the boxer was disqualified and lost out on his second chance at gold.

Perfect, well almost: Many said it couldn’t be done again. Not since the 1972 Miami Dolphins had an NFL team managed to win every game in a season. Entering the Superbowl XLII with a perfect 18-0 record, the New Eng-

land Patriots were chasing not only a championship but also perfection, and with it a place in history. With 2 minutes left and holding a 14-10 lead it looked like the Patriots were destined to be celebrating. All they needed was one final defensive stand and for a short while it looked like they had it. Asante Samuel had intercepted an Eli Manning pass to effectively end the game, only to drop it. The New York Giants had one more chance.

On that final chance the Giants scored the game winning touchdown leaving the Patriots with a perfectly imperfect 18-1 record for the season.

Stories of success are what we watch sport for. However it is these mistakes, these blunders that in many ways help to define why we spend so much time watching a ball being kicked or thrown around a field. The drama and heartbreak created by these mistakes cannot be found anywhere else, and without stories of failure, we must wonder if the success stories would really be all that important.

Learning from their mistakes Barry Aldworth

S

ometimes sport comes down to one brave decision, one moment where you can make history. However that brave decision does not always result in success. Sometimes these decisions backfire and give us the mistakes that are forever etched in history. These mistakes can take many forms, poor tactics on the field, á la the infamous Henry-Pirès penalty, a poor decision when selecting a player, like leaving some kid called Tom Brady fall to the 6th round of the draft, or a missed call by a referee. In this article I’ll look at some of sports most glaring mistakes...

Bowie drafted ahead of God: With pick number 2 of the 1984 NBA draft, the Portland Blazers selected Sam Bowie. However Blazers fans were left with a sour taste in their mouths after a kid called Michael Jordan who went as pick number 3 took the NBA by storm, while Bowie had an injury-hit, average career.

The fans knew they had missed out on something really special when in 1986 Jordan set a playoff record by scoring 63 points against the Boston Celtics, a performance which led Larry Bird to describe Jordan as “God disguised as Michael Jordan.”

bogey would win the title, the smart decision would have been to play safe and lay-up with his third short. However Van de Velde went for it and, instead of being rewarded for the brave decision, his ball landed in the water. Then rather than taking

Just play it safe: Standing on the 18th tee in the final round of the 1999 British Open, Jean Van de Velde drove his tee shot into the woods. Knowing a double

a penalty stroke, Van de Velde tried to play his shot from the water. The result: a triple bogey and second place in the British Open.

Sports | 23

November 06, 2012

Demons stretch SuperLeague winning streak Kevin Galvin UCC Demons Killester

A

89 78

s the temperatures drop and frost is seen in Cork for the first time this winter, indoors things are beginning to heat up in the ‘Nivea For Men’s SuperLeague’ as the teams begin to hit their stride. At this stage most sides have played each other once, and we’re beginning to see who the early runners for the league title are, with Demons the team to beat.

Not ones to rest on their laurels, the Demons have strangely opted to replace their so far excellent American signing Delwan Graham with the taller, more physical Kenton Walker. Demons chairman Michael O’Leary, speaking to the official website, explained the decision saying that it was “purely a business needs and team needs decision.”

So there was a lot on the line for the Demons as the ball was thrown up at three o’clock on Sunday afternoon, most importantly an opportunity to reclaim top spot from the UL Eagles. They fell behind early as Killester, and in particular Puff Summers, were fast out of the blocks.

The American guard hit six early points and was the focal point of a strong early Killester offence which saw the visiting side open up an eight

point lead.

Walker, in his second outing in Demons’ colours, was clearly struggling to adapt to a physical Irish game and was resigned to the bench for the better part of the first half while his teammates set about reducing the deficit.

Niall O’Reilly was the pick of the Demon players, hitting a number of layups which saw the home side lead by three halfway through the first quarter.

Killester were battling hard though, showing no signs of their poor league position;

outstanding half for the Cork side though, who headed into the half-time break ahead 4538.

The second half was altogether different for Demons’ new signing, Walker as he began to dominate the offence, scoring two quick two pointers and a lay which saw the Demons stretch their lead but Killester pulled them back.

Summers scored a quick lay from a good steal deep in the Demons court, but it was really a tit-for-tat quarter and heading into the final period the score stood 67-58.

The fourth was just a matter of being professional for the home side. It wasn’t easy though as their Dublin opponents fought hard and got within three points with only a few minutes to play through the excellent Ciaran Roe who chipped in with six points.

One would have been forgiven for doubting the home side’s chances at that point but they’re not unbeaten for nothing. Walker was mopping up every rebound and, after he laid his 18th point, captain Shane Coughlan won possession and Shane O’Sullivan drained the resulting free-throws. That all but crushed Killester’s late charge and in the end the scoreboard suggested a more comfortable win than the reality.

Michael Westbrooks was doing some sterling work in the face of some tough Demons defence, and at the end of the first quarter the away side lead 23 to 21.

The second started much different to the first, with the Demons justifying their strong league position by powering through the Dublin outfit. O’Reilly continued his strong start and was hitting points left, right and centre.

Supporting him were Ciaran O’Sullivan and Carlton Cuff, both scoring threes on top of a few more twos. At one stage the Demons were ahead Interviews with both head by 12 points but more good coaches and Kendon Walker work from Westbrooks kept will be posted on uccexpress. the score in check. It was an net.

Sport in Brief – Murphy on international duty Stephen Barry Ladies Soccer: UCC student Lauren Murphy was in Serbia for the penultimate week of October as part of the Irish U19 team competing in the first qualifying round of the UEFA European Women’s U19 Championships. Needing to finish in the top two of a four team group, Murphy featured at full-back for the opener against Cyprus (3-0) and was a 70th minute replacement against Latvia (11-0). She was restored to the first team for the game to decide the group winners against hosts Serbia, who had defeated Ireland at the same ground only seven months previously. However Murphy, on set-piece duties, and her colleagues managed to turn the tables on the Serbs, coming from behind for a 3-2 victory. Twenty teams advances to the final qualifying rounds, fixed for spring 2013.

In Murphy’s absence, UCC fell to their first loss of the season to WCSAI Premier South leaders, IT Tralee.

Ultimate Frisbee: IFDA club of the year, UCC won the Ladies Indoor Intervarsities with a 9-6 win over Trinity College. After back-to-back runner-up finishes, UCC went a step further on Saturday afternoon last. In the UL sports hall, UCC stormed out of the blocks and into a five-two lead in the firstto-nine decider. Trinity racked up a run of scores to level before UCC again pulled ahead, 7-5. Trinity pulled a point back before UCC sealed the deal with a pair of catches in the opposition endzone.

GAA: In the week in which the UCC handballers defeated Trinity in the 60X30 Team All-Ireland Intervarsities and UCC graduate Anhony Nash took home a hurling All-Star, the Fresher footballers teed up the coming two weeks with a 1-20 to 1-13 victory over Cork IT. CIT will have plenty of opportunity for revenge as all of the other major UCC GAA teams prepare for local derbies within the space of a week. The senior footballers and hurlers will make the journey down Rossa Avenue on Wednesday and Thurday before the fresher hurlers welcome CIT to the Mardyke the following Wednesday.

Issue 4: As you will no doubt have been made aware of elsewhere in these pages, the UCC Express of a fortnight ago never saw the light of day, due to issues beyond our control.

This was an absolute tragedy for the team of writers who put hours of time and effort into the production of five pages of sport which were effectively laid to waste. Thankfully the new UCC Express website has been launched – uccexpress.net – and provides an outlet for those articles and reports which you may have missed. That includes an extensive interview with Munster full-back Denis Hurley, a report on UCC Demons derby victory over Neptune, a countdown of sports greatest controversies, an opinion piece on the League of Ireland and a report on UCC’s All-Ireland winning ladies footballers. In addition a host of Sport in Brief stories didn’t make it to the desks of the Boole lecture theatres. These included pieces on hurling, handball, kickboxing, rugby, hockey, golf, Gaelic football and ultimate Frisbee and can be found in full on uccexpress.net along with a thorough results round-up.

SPORTS

06 November, 2012. Volume 20, Issue 05.

UCC finally end varsity quest Alan Goode and Annette Gilroy UCC UU

1 1

UCC win 5-3 on penalty strokes

U

CC won an emotional intervarsity title on home turf at the Mardyke on Tuesday last, ousting University of Ulster on penalty strokes after a tense 1-1 stalemate.

The Mauritius Cup will reside in Cork for just the second time in their history — the other was won in 1995 — and rounds off a memorable year for the club who won their first national senior crown, the Irish Hockey Trophy, in April.

It also ends a three-year quest for the crown; in 2010 they were controversially dumped out

by DCU in the semi-finals and then saw neighbours CIT win the decider, before being wiped out by UCD in last year’s final.

Having seen DIT dump holders UCD out in the group stage to take over the favourites’ mantle, the Cork hosts did a number on the Dubliners in the semifinals, winning 3-1 thanks to two Fionn O’Leary strikes and a cracker from Nigel Bateman.

That setup a clash with the Belfast men, for whom goal machine Jordan Robinson had struck twice to hold off the challenge of Trinity.

Shrew Power gave UCC a 15th-minute lead but that was cancelled out by Ricky O’Neill’s second half drag-flick. Goldengoal extra-time loomed, with Andy Gray making an excellent high goal-line clearance to keep UCC alive.

College were then spot-on with their strokes, nailing all

five to prevail 5-3 in the shootout. Andrew Scannell, Adam O’Callaghan, Wesley Brownlow and Peter Catchpole all beat the UU goalie before the decisive flick was fittingly taken by Gray, who finally has a varsity medal to his name after nine years of

beat the eventual tournament winners.

UCC Captain and Irish U21 player Aine Curran had this to say about her team: “This year’s varsities were a great experience and such a learning curve for our team. It was a chance for

sion each and every one of us have for hockey. Our aim is to build on our performances from the varsities and hopefully be crowned with a Munster title by the end of the year!”

The tournament got underway on Sunday the 28th of Oc-

The victorious Mauritius Cup team. Photo: Paul Coulton. trying, which included final defeats in the colours of both CIT and UCC. UCD made it three Chilean Cups in a row as they strolled past surprise finalists Queens on a 4-0 scoreline. The Belfielders, backboned by nine Irish senior internationals, prevailed via a brace from Jeamie Deacon and one each for Caroline Hill and Emily Beatty.

Queens had qualified for the last four as a best runner-up to UCC in Pool B, but shocked a hotly-fancied UU side 1-0 to make the decider, while UCD saw off the hosts 2-0. In a hotly contested game, UCC stepped up to the challenge and fought hard for every ball but could not

the first years to really find their feet; it was also a time for the more senior players on the team to step up to the mark and show leadership throughout the tournament. After coming through the group stages quite easily, unfortunately we met a very strong UCD side in the semi-final. Although we displayed a very impressive performance and created huge chances throughout the game, it was their experience and ability to finish the ball in the circle that was the deciding factor.

“We are now eagerly looking forward to playing in our Munster league. We showed how well we can play with each other and showed just how much pas-

tober with the men getting off to the perfect start with a 4-1 win over Trinity thanks in part to an Andy Gray brace. This win was followed by a facile victory over an under-strength Tallaght side, 10-0.

Meanwhile the ladies team began their tournament by scoring 11 goals in two matches on the opening day against eventual finalists Queens (2-1) and the Royal College of Surgeons (9-0).

Goals from Curran, Irish International Miriam Crowley, Sarah Browner and Steffi Bowe put the hosts at the top of Pool B going into the second day.

On day 2 experience proved key for UCC as they saw off Trinity 7-0, while the men also

closed out top spot in their group with a 14-3 win over the Surgeons.

Both the male and female seconds, placed 11th of 12 teams in the respective competitions. The two Skull and Crossbones teams lost all their group games, although both managed to save their best performances for clashes against CIT, before winning their 11th/12th place play-offs against the Royal College of Surgeons and IT Tallaght respectively. The men’s penalty strokes win over the Surgeons proved a pre-cursor for the firsts’ ultimate victory in penalty strokes which sealed the Mauritius Cup. The tournament is set to move to a new format in 2013, with 12 colleges forming two six-team divisions. This is to help alleviate the lop-sides scorelines from recent years, as Irish-international laden sides chased the goal difference boosts they needed against teams featuring complete beginners.

Mauritius Cup winning squad: Brian Corcoran, Stuart O’Grady, Colin Manning, Fionn O’Leary, Andrew Scannell, Peter Catchpole (capt.), Shrew Power, Greg Chambers, Andy Gray, Wesley Brownlow, Andrew Colton, Nigel Bateman, Mark Welch, Brian Egan, Jack Cherry, Adam O’Callaghan.

Ladies Chilean Cup squad: Emma White, Sarah Wrixon, Nicola Kerr, Sarah Browner, Aisling O’Sullivan, Steffi Bowe, Antonia McGrath, Olivia Roycroft, Kate Humphreys, Aine Curran (capt.), Amy-Kate Trevor, Julie Coyne, Emily O’Leary, Kate Murphy, Emily Reidy, Sarah Sullivan, Rachel O’Hanlon, Miriam Crowley.