The University Express Vol. 22: Issue 8

University Volume 22 | Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019

Express UCCExpress.ie

his most recent statements, which invalidate the apology and retraction Dr Watson made in 2007, are irreconcilable with UCC’s core values of respect, diversity and equality”.

This change comes following a backlash from UCC staff and students, which was lead by Dr. Stephen Jackson from the School of Microbiology. Dr. Jackson sent an email on the 14th of January directing UCC’s attention to the documentary and noting that other universities had already stripped Dr. Watson of his titles. Following this email, a petition was started by UCC staff and students, urging UCC to re-name the Watson building. This petition reached 1,102 signatures and was submitted to the University Naming of Assets Committee on the 6th of February.

UCC Denounces Disgraced Scientist Following Racist Remarks Cailean Coffey, Editor-in-Chief

U

CC announced on Friday (15th February) that they are to cut ties with Nobel prize-winning scientist Dr. James Watson following racially insensitive comments he made in a recent documentary. In doing this, they have begun the process to rename the Watson building, which was named after Dr. Watson in 2016.

The controversy surrounding Dr. Watson began in 2007, when in a Sunday Times interview he was quoted as saying he was “inherently

gloomy about the prospect of Africa” as he believed that ““All our {First world countries} social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours — whereas all the testing says not really”. These comments returned to the public light in recent weeks following a documentary aired on the american network PBS. In the documentary, entitled ‘American Masters: Decoding Watson’, Dr. Watson appeared to show no remorse about his previous comments and instead endorsed his original 2007 quote. When confronted about this belief in the documentary, he replied by saying “Anyone who

doubts this should try having a black employee”.

This Time, I’m Voting

Fashion Month: All You Need to Know

Student Wellbeing Framework

Page 5 News

Page 8 Features

In a statement on their decision to cut ties with Dr. Watson, UCC said it “rejects the deplorable comments by Dr James D. Watson, expressed on the subject of ethnicity and genetics during the documentary, “American Masters: Decoding Watson””. The statement also said the comments aired were “utterly incompatible with the mission and values of UCC”.

Later in the statement, it “UCC acknowledges Dr scientific contribution, in his research on DNA.

Speaking to the Express, Dr. Jackson said he would link to thank those in power who took his original email asking UCC to consider rescinding Dr. Watson’s honours and started to take action upon it. “Racism is reprehensible, but it is somewhat understandable, but not forgivable, in ignorant people” Dr. Jackson noted, “But for educated people, however, it’s just unforgivable”.

UCC is not the first university to have stripped Dr. Watson of honours following his commentsin 2019. In January of this year, Cold Springs notes that Harbour in America, the school which Watson’s held the laboratory where Dr. Watson particular conducted a lot of his research, cut all However ties with the scientist and has taken away some of his past honors.

Page 17 Byline

Student SPECIAL 14” LARGE CHEESE PIZZA + 3 TOPPINGS

€10

T&C: *UP to 3 toppings. please mention offer when ordering. only valid with student id. not vaild with any other offer. valid for a limited time only and at participating stores.

Interview with Niall Culleton

Page 39 Sport

Editorial

2

In This Issue....

The Concert Photography of Shane Horan 4 Representation of RAG Week in the Media 6 Where are your Morals, Bus Éireann?

9 D.A.W.G: Every Dog Deserves a Home 10 Surviving your PhD 11 For & Against Valentine’s Day 12 Sitcoms’ Greatest Couples 18 Interview with Uppbeat 20 The Tea on Spoken Word and Music 23 Gaming is good for you 24 Donald Trump: Feline in Disguise 26 Historical Friction 28 FAIncompetence 36

Editorial Team

Editor-in-Chief Cailean Coffey (Editor@UCCExpress.ie) News Editor Ciaran Dineen(News@UCCExpress.ie) Designer Holly McGrath (Design@UCCExpress.ie) Features Editor Fergal Smiddy (Features@UCCExpress.ie) Sports Editor Declan Gleeson (Sport@UCCExpress.ie) Opinion Editor Samantha Calthrop (Opinion@UCCExpress.ie) Eagarthóir Gaeilge James McAuliffe (Gaeilge@UCCExpress.ie) Online Editor Fiona Keeley (Online@UCCExpress.ie) Marketing Executive Robert O’Sullivan (Marketing@UCCExpress.ie) Webmaster Michael Forde (Webmaster@UCCExpress.ie) Photographers Célem Deegan, Eve Harrington, James Kells, Ben Kavanagh (Photographers@uccexpress.ie) Staff Writers: Sinead O’Sullivan; Tara Leigh-Matthews James MacSweeney; Lauren McDonnell Byline Editor Ciara Dinneen (Byline@UCCExpress.ie) Fiction Editor Laura Riordan (Fiction@UCCExpress.ie) Humour Editor Callum Casey (Humour@UCCExpress.ie) Arts & Literature Editor Éadaoin Regan (Arts@UCCExpress.ie) Gaming Editor Cian McGrath (Gaming @UCCExpress.ie) Music Editor Caoimhe Coleman (Music@UCCExpress.ie) Film & Television Editor Joesph Cunningham (Screen@UCCExpress.ie ) Sexpress Editor Rían Browne (Sexpress@uccexpress.ie)

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

n the morning of Saturday the 2nd of February, UCC societies were made aware via e-mail of the sudden passing of UCC student Shayan Nasser. Shayan was active in student media, and was a committee member of both the UCC Journalism Society, and the UCC Music Society. He was also a writer for the University Express, as well as a host and panel member of the Journalism Societies’ ‘Journo Hour’ radio show.

Ciaran Dineen, News Editor

I

On behalf of the University Express, we our thoughts and condolences are with Shayans family and friends at this very difficult time. We asked Shayan’s friends if they would like to share a member of Shayan as a tribute to their friend, and our colleague. Below are a selection of such tributes. As a community, it is important for UCC to stick together at what is a difficult time for many.

Shayan enthusiasm, willingness to work hard and ability to have fun while doing so will stick with those he knew forever. He was an both an exceptional student and person, passionate about writing, radio and music.

“Shayan was always eager to help and entertain, and it is this bubbly and cheerful personality that stays with everyone that knew him. He was able to very easily speak on the radio for a whole hour at a time on any topic, a very admirable skill! I had a lot of fun times with him talking about everything and anything, in particular current affairs. Shayan was a wonderful man and he will be missed here in UCC, a community he made his own during his time here” - Lucas Brun, Editor-in-Chief of Motley Magazine “We were very lucky to have Shayan join our committee after our EGM this year. He really was a lovely addition to our society. Shayan was always willing to be hands on with our various events and never shied away from helping out other committee members. Even though he was involved in many other things on campus, Shayan always made time for the Music Society and followed through on his responsibilities.

A couple of weeks ago, Shayan told us that he was planning on staying on the committee next year.

Those of us who will have to leave the committee felt safe and confident in the fact that Shayan would continue to be an integral part of, and a friend to our society. He will truly, truly be missed by all of us” - UCC Music Society

News

3

UCC Extend Partnership with Cork City FC

O

“Shayan’s enthusiasm and positivity was like none I ever had the pleasure of knowing before.

He brought a particularly special energy to any room he was in, to any group he was part of or any event he was at. Shayan was passionate about and admiringly dedicated to all of his interests, being an active and valuable member of both the Music and the Journalism Society in UCC. He had a keen interest in and undoubtable gift for radio, being often on the Journo Hour show at eleven o’clock on Tuesdays and hosting his very own show every Friday. I cannot even begin to try explain just how missed Shayan will be by everyone who ever had the pleasure of knowing and working with him; it really is beyond words and comprehension. Shayan, you were a shooting star that touched all of our lives much too briefly, but with a significance that will keep you always in our dearest memories.” - Ciara Dinneen, UCC Journalism Society PRO

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

“Shayan was the brightest light that beamed in every room he entered. His charm, wit and effervescent personality will be sadly missed by myself, the Journalism Society, UCC FM and all who knew him, including his family and friends.

Shayan has entered a new room of late, but beyond the darkness of the present moment he is shining the brightest light in his new home and that light will follow us everywhere we step until we meet him once again. I can't sum him up beyond these words - he has kept beaming bright, even when the lights have gone out” - Matthew Moynihan, Committee member of UCC Journalism Society Shayan was a talented broadcaster and a warm spirit, I felt straight away he was an asset to the station and in turn to the college community.

I always looked forward to him calling up and talking about his ideas. I would air check his shows and I found myself being drawn in by his wit and his insight to political affairs on a global scale that affects us all and his ability to explain them to his audience. He called his show Fresh Air and it was one of the most aptly named shows we ever had. On a personal note I remember we were just chatting one morning and I asked him what was the age difference between him and his younger brother and he said two year and he mentioned he was also one of his best friends. That was the moment that sums up Shayan for me, no ego and larger than life with a big heart that will be sadly missed. - Kieran Hurley, UCC 98.3FM

For anyone who has been affected by this article there support services are available : Student Counselling - 021 4903565 Student Health - 021 4902311.

Samaritans - 116 123 Pieta House - 021 434 1400 Niteline - 1800 32 32 42

t was announced in early February that University College Cork, The Mardyke Arena and Cork City Football Club, would continue to work in tandem with one another until 2022. The partnership, since its origin in 2016, has been a monumental success for all involved and places Cork City FC firmly in the heart of the city and the community.

The relationship between the club and UCC continues to grow and in terms of match-day support there is also a considerable link. There are a number of people in UCC who have long and strong connections with the club, including Marketing lecturer Dave Alton and Law lecturer Seán Ó Conaill. Hundreds of UCC students are also part of the regular fan-base that turnout at Turner’s Cross stadium on Friday nights.

According to information released, the partnership includes front and rear jersey sponsorship, player fitness, training and rehabilitation support and university scholarships and educational supports for players in City’s men’s team. Cork City FC merchandise has in recent years also been made available for sale, most notably from the visitor’s centre.

However, the latter of these agreements is arguably the most important in terms of player development and security. In the past, young players who have grown

up in Irish academy football would tend to leave Ireland and travel across the water to the UK at the first sign of foreign interest. At times this transition occurs prior to the player completing their Leaving Certificate and while in some cases they do go on to other education abroad, it is not as substantial as what is on offer here. Unfortunately the ruthlessness of sport means that many of those who leave Ireland will return home after being let-go by their football club, and suddenly they’re back to the real world but with no qualifications to their name. Not only will partnerships and programmes such as this encourage younger players to stay in Ireland and play with League of Ireland Clubs such as Cork City, but it also offers older players the chance to study and take a degree that they can use after their footballing career. Speaking to the University Express, Dr Ó Conaill explains of how he believes that the teaching of the educational value of sport is extremely important in this context. “This is a key strategic priority of the University and one which will be even clearer in the new Sports Strategy plan due to be announced soon. It’s an example of both institutions getting involved in the community to benefit each other.

That includes scholarships for male and female players but also includes opening up of opportunities,” Dr Ó Conaill says.

The partnership is mutually beneficial according to the law lecturer and the use of UCC’s logo on Cork City’s jersey is just a fraction of the exposure that UCC has gained as a result. “I think Cork City FC have been shown on Prime Time TV many times since the agreement started, they have huge exposure in print and online media, they’re the biggest Irish club on social media networks etc. This offers huge benefits from the University's point of view in getting their message out in areas where perhaps the University might not traditionally be strong,” Dr Ó Conaill tells the University Express.

Another enthusiast of the partnership is the President of UCC, Professor Patrick O’Shea. Speaking at the announcement of the extension, Professor O’Shea said, “sport is very much in the DNA of UCC. This partnership of sport, fitness and education has been a wonderful experience since we came together in 2016. Education combined with sport has huge potential for personal development and this partnership is a unique example of UCC’s continued expansion of its regional engagement with sporting partners and the wider community”. The concept of Cork City embedding itself into the community is clearly evident and this was also reiterated

by General Manager of CCFC, Paul Wycherley, who said, “our aim is to be the best football club in Ireland

on and off the pitch, and competing in Europe. We have shown in recent years, in line with this partnership, that is where we belong. The announcement of this extension will enable us to continue this and grow as a football club, owned by fans and fully engaged in our community.”

Dr Dave Alton from the Department of Marketing and Management here in UCC told the University Express, “working with UCC, and having previously worked with Cork City FC, there are many similarities between both institutions. Both are leaders in their respective domains of sport and education; both are pillars of the Cork community; and both persistently strive for ambitious growth. The synergy between UCC and CCFC as partners is evident, and it’s great to see our University contribute in such a meaningful way to one of Cork’s great sporting representatives”.

Over the next nine months many of the players will be seen in The Mardyke Arena and perhaps on campus too. However, the most important place to see the squad and Cork City FC is at their games in Turner’s Cross this season. The league campaign began last week where Cork travelled to Dublin to face St. Patrick’s Athletic. The opening home game of the season takes place on Friday 22nd of February against Waterford FC with a 7:45 kick-off.

Shock as ‘Drunk’ Lecturer to Receive Help Ciaran Dineen, News Editor

I

t emerged on the 5th of February that a lecturer from University College Cork was escorted from her class by UCC security after students realised that the woman in question was intoxicated. In an email from the class representative on behalf of the class, it was noted that all was not well in the early moments of the lecture and there was clearly something wrong.

After struggling to begin the class, it is reported that the lecturer in question turned on some students and started to swear at them in

a threatening manner. When she did try and move on with the class her intoxicated state became more evident as she continuously began to slur her words. In an angry statement on behalf of the class, the representative said, “each student of this course is paying a vast amount of money to receive the best education possible (between €10,000 and €15,000) and we are not getting this in this class. Students have come halfway across the world to UCC to study these modules and this is what they were faced with yesterday.”

While some students left the lecture theatre following the use of bad

language directed at them, others stayed behind, worried for the lecturer’s safety. The final straw was when she fell over and onto the ground, prompting two students to come to her assistance. It was at this point that security was made aware of the incident and the woman was taken out of the building. While those present were and still are concerned for the well-being of their instructor, it was made clear by the class representative that such an incident should never have occurred and all parties are extremely upset.

“Both students and families are

extremely angry and disappointed by what happened and something must be done about this,” the statement said. “It is completely unacceptable for students to have to pick up an intoxicated lecturer off the floor and take care of them.”

In a statement UCC officials have said that they are aware of the incident and support will be given to students involved as well as the lecturer. While there have been reports that the lecturer admitted to driving from Kerry to Cork that morning, this has not been confirmed to be the case.

4

News

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

people there where the ones holding it together. I started to use photography as a creative outlet while on the job. It was a win-win situation as the bands and the punters enjoyed it. Sometimes you got more feedback from the photos than the bands.

Who’s photographs have you shot?

I definitely have a wish list of who I would like to shoot and several of those names have been crossed off. I tend to think back more so on things I've seen. Like a metal band using seashells as an instrument, a church full of people sitting on the floor listening to the act, a kitchen crammed giving the act just enough room to play, the full front row of a venue in tears due to the emotion in the song, a fan pushing the singer out of the way during a stage invasion so he could finish the song, and about a hundreds of different times hearing some guy down the back shouting "Freebird".

What publications do you work for?

A Shot in The Dark: The Concert Photography of Shane Horan

A

picture tells a thousand words and, in the world of Instagram and Twitter, a photo can take you a thousand places. Rarely is this more apparent than in the life of Limerick music photographer Shane Horan.

Horan has shot a wide variety of gigs, venues, genres and bands and has been working in the Irish music industry for more than a decade. His work has featured in newspapers across Europe, and he is a regular contributor to GoldenPlec.com, the Irish music website. The University Express was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to sit down with Horan to discuss his passion, his craft and the gift that kick-started his photographic journey.

Was your family always taking photos

of you and your siblings growing up?

Not really, the camera was rolled out for family events and special occasion. That being said, the photos that were taken were highly valued, keeping photos is a big thing in our house. That’s something I really see the value of more and more. In my own work and because I've stayed with music photography it is a pleasant surprise to go back through old photos and see faces in the crowd that are your friends now and they have become bloggers, vloggers, sound engineers, musicians. It's also a good laugh looking at everyones clothes, hair cuts etc.

What is the first photograph that you remember truly grabbing your

attention?

I can't say! There were always old national geographic magazines in the house and calendars of far off landscapes. I was taken by the idea of going to these place and I think that gave me an interest in photography.

I can recall the first gig where I was really taken by my own photography.

It was the first ASIWYFA gig in Limerick. Baker Place (the venue) was packed so tight that the bar staff just sat back and enjoyed the gig as no one could get to the bar. All around the stage was a wild mess, several crowd surfers all going at once in this hallway of a venue. It was one of those "I was there" nights.

For me I managed to capture some of that energy in the photos. The colours

the expressions, I knew then I was starting to get a style I wanted.

How and when did you get your first camera?

It was a gift from my aunt. I can't recall the model, but at the time it was amazing. The independence to put my perspective in print. I'd get a roll of film every few weeks and you'd pay close attention to how many shots you had left, you always knew what shot you were on then, they were precious.

When was the moment you realised that you could combine your love of music and photography into one job?

I found myself running a music venue once. The kind of place where the

I can proudly state that I'm a Golden Plec photographer. You can often find my work there. The freelance life will get you into all sort of unexpected places. I have had several shots in newspapers in Europe. It's great when

T

he landscape of Cork City has changed in recent years due to the construction of student accommodation premises such as Amnis House. The opening of Amnis House provided another 190 student beds to a city that is sorely crying out for increased accommodation amid this student housing crisis. Uninest, who run this student residence, are currently in the process of building another student accommodation centre where the Brewery Quarter once stood. When finished, this will provide another 413 beds for students who are moving away from home and adjusting to life in Cork City.

However, this is not all that Uninest, and their owners Global Student Accommodation, want to do for

5

you see your work in print!

What has been your personal highlight from photography?

It's a mix. A big mix. I’m not sure if I could pick the number 1 highlight.

Its has happened where the profile picture of everyone in my facebook feed was a shot I took. It's a nice feeling. On two different occasions musicians have thanked me for the best tinder photo they have, stating it got them more dates than ever before. If the music thing doesn't work out there could be work for me in match making!

Who’s concert photographer’s work do you admire?

Ireland has a host of music photographers. That might be because of endless list of musicians!

It's a good community too people are very willing to chat and share experience and advice. If you enjoy concert i'd suggest following Zyanya Lorenzo, Nicholas O’Donnell, Owen Humphreys, Kieran Frost, and Olga Kuzmenko.  PHOTOS:Previous Page: Blind Boy Boatclub, St Lukes; This Page Top; James Bay, Live at the Marquee; This Page Bottom: Ilenkus, Cyprus Avenue,

Student Wellbeing Framework Fiona Keeley, Online Editor

News

their student residents. Along with providing students with a roof over their heads and a warm bed at night, Uninest launched their Student Wellbeing Framework across its sites in Dublin and Cork. On the 6th February they outlined and described how the company have ambitious goals to provide this support for over 1,700 students who live with them during the college year. This framework is the result of a research study commissioned by Global Student Accommodation and conducted by Red Brick Research, started in December 2017. The Student Wellbeing Framework is based on nine pillars the research showed were important values in any student’s life, worldwide. These include spiritual, mental, cultural, social, environmental, physical, academic, financial and career needs.

During an interview with Bobbi Hartshorne, head of External Relations and Student Wellbeing at Global Student Accommodation, the University Express had the opportunity to enquire how this global structured framework was implemented within their student communities. “It didn’t matter then if we were delivering the framework in Ireland, Japan or Australia but what it also meant was that when we were serving international students in those countries, that the nine pillars would resonate with them as well,” Mr Hartshorne says. Beginning as a landscape study, it drew information from multiple different areas surrounding the idea of student life.

The prime goal of this research was to observe the intertwined relationship between where a student lives, and their wellbeing. This being the first study of its kind means that others companies who provide student

accommodation, may use some of the research in the future. Bobbi Hartshorne described how they have been able to build relationships with companies who are passionate about student wellbeing and also create a community within their residencies between staff and students.

This has taken a new approach to looking at the idea of student wellbeing and Mr Hartshorne emphasised the need for a joined up network approach between universities and accommodation so the support in the accommodation would be seen as all-inclusive, instead of a separate entity. This would ensure when it came to student wellbeing the message would be clear and concise when a student came looking for support.

This is Uninest’s way of investing in their students’ college experience as most of these supports come at no extra cost to the resident.

6

Features

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Cull an Óige: The Representation of RAG Week in the Media Fergal Smiddy, Features Editor

B

y the time that this article is published, RAG week will officially be over and done with for another year. Disorientated students, shook as the proverbial hand at mass, will once again emerge from whatever narcotic hole they’ve been buried in and sprawl out across campus like squadrons of shellshocked troops. At the time of writing, however, RAG week is just getting started. It feels like the guillotine has been lifted, and, whether it’s about to drop or not remains to be seen. The usual herds of students trudging their way about campus

has already thinned substantially – seemingly overnight – and lecture crowds are more and more beginning to resemble those of a 9AM Mass in mid-July. On a positive note, no major hiccups, controversies or – more importantly – tragedies, have taken place at the time of writing.

Almost eerily, everything seems to be running smoothly – or, you know, as smoothly as is student-ly possible.

The real good news though, is that – so far – we’ve been given a big thumbs up from the lads over at The Evening Echo. They published an article on the Tuesday evening of RAG, summing up the proceedings

thus far with “a few incidents, but mostly well behaved”, which, in comparison to almost every other article published around Cork RAG in recent years, can roughly be translated to “Cork students shine during RAG Week, with zero reports of Hillbillies’ chicken tenders being thrown at the back of Gardas’ heads”.

Understandably, RAG has garnered somewhat of a distasteful name for itself over the years. In the eyes of many local residents, the media, and even some UCC students, the week resembles nothing more than a concentrated storm of drunken chaos and disturbance.

A quick Google news search for “UCC Rag Week” reveals an absolute storm of articles from recent years, with almost every single one condemning the annual event and the students involved. The entire first page of News results reveals not even one headline that mentions RAG with even a hint of positivity. It would be naïve to try and claim that these furious takedowns of RAG are unjustified, or even wrong. Despite having charity at its core, RAG Week is synonymous with drinking, drugs, and sessions for a sizeable portion of UCC students. It doesn’t sound great when put so bluntly, but that’s just the way it is. The acronymic ‘Raise

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

and Give’, for some, is absolutely lost, with the symbolic withering and wasting of one’s condition to rags throughout the week perhaps taking its place. All of these things are true (although to what extent is arguable), and I’m sure you’ve already heard them a thousand times.

with a lot of negatives – a lot of drunken debauchery and disorderly conduct. But I would argue that RAG week has positives that outshine the negatives in both quality and quantity. Yet, it’s representation in the media remains almost comically biased and imbalanced.

The RAG Week student-bashing is a long-running trend in Cork, and across the nation at large. A lot of it is understandable, and as someone who is involved in Journalism myself, I fully concede that when someone does throw a chicken tender at a Garda’s head, it’s probably a good idea to write about it. RAG week is a messy time. A lot of students go out, get drunk, and end up doing stupid – and sometimes illegal – things. These things happen, and we know it because we’ve been told the exact same story by every media outlet across the nation. But, do you know what else happens during RAG week? A shit-load of money gets raised for charity. This year, the Students Union, along with the help of volunteers and generous donators, are raising money for Jigsaw, The Cork Life Centre, and Homeless Help & Support Cork. A number of the events taking place across the week will be sending proceeds directly to each of these brilliant causes, along with various conventional charity collections taking place around campus. Historically, the RAG campaign has always culminated in a surplus of €20,000 being raised and divided between the three chosen charities for that year. Surely this begs the question, why isn’t this side of RAG week given more representation in the media? Why aren’t the Neil Prendevilles and the Echoes and whoever else – even for a second – acknowledging the immense positivity and good will that is produced by Cork RAG week proceedings? It’s almost as if bashing and vilifying students is deemed more important than the €20,000 that we raise as a collective, every single year. It is widely known that RAG week is far from perfect. It comes

As mentioned previously, a Google News search for “UCC Rag Week” turns up a full wall of article headlines speaking negatively of RAG week. Astounded by this result, I decide to go on a hunt for an article which praises the charitable and altruistic nature of RAG week.

It proves to be a more difficult task than I had anticipated, but one article eventually does turn up. It’s an Irish Times article, with the slightly confusing title (notice the British currency symbol) of “UCC Rag Week to top £25,000”. The article is short and sweet, briefly celebrating the massive amount of money raised by UCC students for the three respective charities endorsed by the RAG campaign that year. The pound sign in the headline obviously

Features confuses me. Clearly, it should be a Euro symbol, and I’m certain that the Times hasn’t plummeted to such levels of apathy that they’d fail to correct themselves in using the wrong currency symbol for a headline. So, I click on the article, and realise that there’s no mistake at all. The author was fully correct in their choice of currency sign, because – and I kid you not – the article was published in 1999. Yes, you read that right: The one and only article that I was able to find speaking about the positive effects of UCC RAG week was published when I was literally three months old. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at such a stunningly weird yet appallingly insane fact. Of course, I can’t say for certain that other articles have not been published which speak positively of RAG. The University Express, of course, has pumped out its fair share of constructive RAG-related articles over the years. However, when it comes to ‘mainstream media’ – the big publishers and broadcasters working in Ireland today – you would, quite literally in my case, have to wait

7

an entire lifetime before hearing them talk about RAG in a good light.

This isn’t exactly a pressing, or even important issue. The media has been reporting exceedingly negatively on RAG week for years, and I’m certain that they’ll continue to report on it in the exact same way for many years to come. Sensationalism – painting students in a bad light, gets clicks; It gets listeners, and that’s the bottom line. Why would anyone want to hear about the money that UCC students have raised for various charities, when they can tune into Neil Prendeville and hear about how a group ‘feckin’ students’ ran across Patrick Street in front of traffic and almost gave poor old Maureen from Ballincollig a heart-attack on her way home from work. As long as a public appetite to vilify students and perpetuate negative stereotypes around them exists, the admirable charity work done by them throughout the year – and especially throughout RAG week – will be forgotten about, swept under the rug, and buried deeper in the ever-growing swamp of negative press.

8

Features

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Features

9

been there? It is a scary thought. The bus driver eventually managed to make it out of his seat and help the woman sit down.

‘Are you getting off here?’ was his only response.

The elderly women at this stage most likely dazed, in pain and shaken, answered ‘yes’ probably to get him out of her sight.

The driver went back to his seat and drove further the road, then let the woman off the bus on her own far from her stop AND with a head injury. Sophie, like any morally sane human being, is disgusted by the attitude presented towards the woman and the driver’s audacity to watch two young people struggle to help an elderly person up.

Where the Eff are your Morals, Bus Éireann?

This Time, I’m Voting David Brennan, Features Writer

I

n the midst of the seemingly neverending Brexit situation, it seems impossible to not ponder Irelands place in the EU. Since receiving membership in the then EEC in 1973, our humble country has developed farther than those around at the time could have imagined. We possess one of the most powerful passports in the world and can travel and work freely throughout Europe.

Using UCC as an example, we can go to lectures and converse with people from all over Europe thanks to our membership in the EU. It’s surprising, then, that we have some of the poorest voter turnouts in the European Union.

The elections coming up on the 24th of May are important for us

in many ways. They will be the first elections held in a post-Brexit Europe, and the representatives elected will have the last word on Britain’s exit from Europe and how it will affect us in Ireland, especially at the border. We have shown in the past that the Irish are passionate voters. Turnouts at the polling stations for both the Marriage and 8th amendment referendums were some of the highest on record. This passion is equally as important for these elections, as we deserve our say in today’s Europe, in a political climate defined by populist politics and a rise in extreme rightwing parties. Jack Maloney, an EU representative in Dublin, expressed how he felt about the issue in a recent correspondence we had:

not only because upwards of 70% of our laws are made in Brussels/ Strasbourg but because it presents a small country like Ireland with a tremendous opportunity to have an impact on global issues such as climate change and global peace.

In the 21st century there are two types of countries in Europe, small countries and countries who do not know yet that they are small. Global challenges have arisen that need European solutions!”

The ‘This Time I’m Voting’ campaign aims to boost voter turnouts by spreading awareness of just how much the EU Parliament has in our day-to-day lives. The decisions made in Brussels affect everything from “car parks to surfing”, so it’s important for as “European Politics is very important many people to be aware that we

have a say in that too. The goal of the volunteer-based, apolitical campaign is to reach 1,000,000 signatures from voters committing to vote on the 24th of May on their website. The true extent of what we as voters and EU citizens have the right to vote on can be found on the campaign’s website, thistimeimvoting.eu. There, you can also keep up to date on campaign events in Ireland.

It may not feel as immediate or as close to home as some of the other recent elections that our country has seen in recent years, but the elections taking place on May 24th cannot be faced with apathy. We need to be tackling European issues with the same tenacity with which we approach issues in Ireland. This time, we should all be voting. 

If you thought that Ireland’s poison on wheels could not get any worse, e are in the second month of well dear reader I am sorry to say you 2019 and, as of writing this are mistaken. It is now progressed feature, nothing has changed inside from poison to a ticking time bomb of the buses. This journalist did not in the hands of the public waiting for expect to be writing about this issue someone to lose their life or quality again so soon, but the demand for of life. change and the outcries at Transport Sophie Minihane Cooney gave for Ireland’s darling are turning into a look into her trip on the 223 bus bloody shrieks. But are Bus Éireann earlier this week (the original post listening? So far the answer is in the is still online if you wish to read it). negative.

The first part of Sophie’s experience ‘What the Eff Bus Éireann?’(a should be familiar to anyone who previous feature written by yours has been touched by the financial truly) touched on issues of human penalties of being a young person: compassion on these moving health the dreaded overcharging of fares. Is hazards. This feature is going to dive it down to improper driver training into the alarming problems that are on the part of Bus Éireann, a lazy growing onboard: the incompetence driver or a mistake in the system? of drivers and passenger care.

Whatever the truth is, it speaks Scrolling through any form of social volumes about Bus Éireann’s respect media, it is almost impossible to for its passengers and the way it miss the long posts complaining values their money. A couple of cents about bus rides and the drivers make the difference for a student behind the wheel. Unsurprisingly, trying to get to college, get lunch or most of these complaints are coming simply buy a pen to write with.

Róisin O’Donnell, Deputy Features Editor

W

from Bus Éireann’s most frequent Despite her friend being overcharged, passengers: students.

Sophie showed great patience as the

driver committed more mistakes including messing up the route and having to be directed by passengers.

Although this incident took place at 6:30pm, the repercussions if this took place at a busier time should also be considered. For example, several hours earlier at 2:30pm when young children get the bus home without parental supervision, or at 8:00am the peak time for buses in that area to be full of students struggling to make it to college, or school by the 9:00am mark.

Bus Éireann, as always, has no comment to give. It needs to, for the sake of its passengers, to answer questions.

How are you training drivers to handle these situations?

Where are you finding drivers like this man?

And Why is the safety of passengers not your priority?

The last question can be reinforced by the list of comments under Sophie’s post. They are mostly others sharing their experiences. One commenter wrote about a driver yelling at them and refusing to let her off the bus when she was feeling unwell. The power that Bus Éireann has over its passengers is disturbing especially in Sadly, this is nothing newsworthy for situations when health and safety are Bus Éireann’s grand reputation. But an issue. an elderly woman falling and hitting her head hard on the sticky floors I will end this feature now, but know of the bus is. This was through no it will never be my last feature on fault of the elderly woman. She got Bus Éireann until they cop on. I hope up to be let off and the inconsiderate that the woman is okay and knows driver slammed the brakes to stop so that every person reading Sophie’s unnecessarily hard that the woman post and the Express is behind her.

Also, a message not to just the lost her balance. disgraceful driver of the 223 but to Thankfully, Sophie and a young girl all bus drivers: You have powerrushed to help the woman up. While however small you may think- to they struggled to lift her the driver make a change. Use your moral remained in his seat. What the hell compass, and implement it! would have happened if they had not

10

Features

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

D.A.W.G: Every Dog Deserves a Home Róisin O’Donnell, Deputy Features Editor

S

hortly before Christmas, a wideeyed dog stared out at me from my Facebook feed. The post that followed led me to contact the organisation D.A.W.G. D.A.W.G (Dog Action Welfare Group) is a saviour to homeless dogs from all walks of life.

De-stressing puppies rooms are not a secret at UCC. For the last event of this kind over four hundred students were interested in squeezing into the Students Union for a chance to get up close and personal with these cuties (thank you UCC Animal Welfare Society). Although this journalist was too busy with college to go to these events I possibly experience something better. I was lucky enough to hear about the care and kindness D.A.W.G provides to dogs in need from fosterer Katie.

Hopefully, this feature gives you a taste of what it is actually like in the world of heartache and happiness that D.A.W.G experiences on a daily basis. Every week five to six dogs are ‘surrendered’ to the care of D.A.W.G. when the lives of their humans move on to bigger and ‘better’ things.

Common scenarios include a baby replacing a beloved dog or an owner having to give up caring for a dog in order to be cared for themselves.

But what about a stereotypical abandonment? According to Katie, Christmas abandonments are more than a reality. They usually occur six months after a puppy is given as a present. By this time he gets nippy, less cute and bigger. Too big to fit into a suitcase when the time for holidays come about or be distracted by a ball. On the reverse side of this many teenage and older dogs are given up before Christmas to allow a puppy to take its place.

‘Alice is approx 12 weeks old and was found abandoned with her litter mate wandering the roads. Thanks to your support and veterinary treatment. She is bouncing back to full health and ready to start looking for her forever home. She is a very affectionate girl and will be small to medium in size.

Alice isnt used to small children so children over 8 please. We are

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

‘Rico is 14 years age and sadly finds himself looking for a home. He is lively for his age and good with other dogs. Children over 10 for Rico.’

Alice is approx 12 weeks old and was found abandoned with her litter mate looking to home her with another dog for company.’

But are people only looking for puppies? Katie says no. More people are turning to D.A.W.G to adopt and foster due to overbreeding issues that have developed through demands for cuteness.

Slowly but surely the stigma attached to homeless hounds are disappearing. The image of a skinny giant standing in a cage waiting to be picked is being replaced by a more complex and true one. As Katie says, every dog is different.

good with other dogs. Yodo is more or less housetrained. Yodo would love a home with another dog to play with and a home where he won't spend long hours alone. He is still growing and we imagine he will be a big boy. Whoever adopts this boy will never regret it. Children over 8 for Yodo.’

You, reader, have the power to make things better. 

And the respect that D.A.W.G shows for the animals in its care is obvious. So erase the ideas of Hollywood. D.A.W.G uses a system to ensure the right animal is going to the right forever home. The system involves questionnaires, interviews and home check-ups and that is all before you can call a dog yours! Katie reported that nearly all the dogs will go to homes within a year. This is a success, in my opinion, that displays the example that D.A.W.G is setting for the dog owning community.

‘This gorgeous boy is approx 6 or 7 months old. He has a beautiful nature, typical of the deerhound, loves his exercise and loves his snoozes. He is an active boy who is

Surviving your PhD: How to not be a ghost, make progress and have a social life Rosie Howlett Southgate, PhD Candidate and Teaching Assistant in Geography at UCC

D

oing a PhD is the pinnacle of academic achievement, a mammoth solo journey into research and learning through your chosen discipline. However, this voyage of discovery can quickly turn into a nightmare if it is not well-managed and balanced with other activities.

Recent studies have shown that PhD students are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, low selfesteem and other mental health issues than the population at large. Being in the third year of a PhD myself, I can sympathise. Here, I put forward ten tips for journeying through your PhD and not turning into a complete ghost of your former self (your family and friends heard you still exist through rumblings in the house, but no confirmed sightings):

Use your public services: Parks

Rico: He is lively for his age and good with other dogs.

Yodo: He has a beautiful nature, typical of the deerhound,

11

– is the temptation to open a word document and get cracking, seen as you’re doing nothing else. Recognise that no good work was ever done at 10pm on a Sunday, so have a cup of tea or a glass of wine instead and start Monday morning.

When I asked Katie what the common type of adopter was like, she surprised me by telling me that an adopter can be any type of person.

The most important aspect taken into account for any adopter or any fosterer is experience. For example, Katie herself being an experienced fosterer with years of experience under her belt typically cares for dogs that have anxiety, are injured or have had an amputation.

My final question is one I hope that all the students at UCC have on their minds… what can I do to help? Katie says in an ideal world all dogs would be in happy homes but there is always going to be rescue dogs. What D.A.W.G needs is fewer dogs and more donations. You could donate or even sponsor a dog for little as a euro a week. Half the price of a muffin in the student centre and less than a fine from the library. It's simple, just pick up your phone right now and visit the D.A.W.G website.

Donations and sponsorships can help the fosterers feed the dogs and pay for the €15,000 - €20,000 vet bills that D.A.W.G has to pay every month.

Features

and Libraries my friends, parks and libraries. You know those social spaces you were completely oblivious too during your beer and chicken-roll filled undergraduate studies? They are now your best friends and your only

hope of having conversations with friends and interesting strangers who thankfully know nothing about your PhD topic. Usually PhD’s have no set work hours so there is no excuse not to go about town doing all sorts of old-fashioned things; loaning books, attending local community nights or simply walking through the park. Best of all, they are free.

Hang out in Cafes: The value of

has a guide for PhD submission?

Download it, print it, stick it on your wall, stare at it each day to remind yourself what exactly is needed for a PhD to pass the viva.

That is, after all, your shared goal and knowing these things will keep the relationship between yourself Be the queen of your admin: and your supervisors productive and Keeping on top of how many credits lively. you have done, which activities have been reimbursed, how much Talk! No seriously, talk. money is left in your scholarship, When you’re studying for a PhD, which forms need signing (say for conferences mean you MUST talk example from a PhD track to a full to people; and, yes, talking to people PhD candidate etc) is incredibly is an exercise in communication and important. We are all ‘formophobes’ personal relationship management, at heart, letting forms build up until but it is also just a nice thing to do. eventually the opportunity attached Talk to the lecturers and professors to them disappears or they become a around you. You won’t always be real issue. At best you get a sharply in the company of such interesting worded email from a higher admin (if sometimes admittedly quirky) power, at worst your registration is personalities. Friendships outside suspended and access to journals and of your age and social groups are a libraries is cut off. This is a recipe for beautiful thing and lead to a natural stress, so tackle those forms when broadening of the mind. they roll in!

Treat your PhD as your job:

Take your credits early: In most Doing a PhD is nothing like doing PhD’s nowadays there is an element of compulsory study through the structured PhD programme. This means taking at least three modules extra to your own research agenda, conferences and writing. It is my advice to take these classes (and for love of god, do the assignment!) early and bank those credits say in first or early second year. A scramble to round up five credits in final year is not ideal, as by that stage you want to be planning your career and will be in the deep-end writing-wise.

Many universities offer the option of using your conferencing or teaching experience for credit, so investigate that within your faculty; could save yourself a module or two and create a teaching portfolio at the same time.

cafes is not to be underestimated in the PhD journey. For the price of a cup of coffee and potentially a slice of that cake, cafes provide a warm and cosy space to bring yourself and your laptop/reading materials too for the morning. So, go forth and find yourself a decent brew and a chatty barista; your wellbeing will thank Value your supervisors: Your supervisors are your biggest allies you for it! and assets. They are also people.

Do not work from home: Many Respect that by trying to act upon PhD’s enjoy the privacy and ease their guidance, and if you chose not of working from home, and whilst to take their suggestions, explain I can see the value of being able to truthfully why not rather than just write up a chapter in cosy pyjamas not proceeding with corrections or – this is not a route I recommend. conference presentations etc. Not Having worked two days a week overloading my supervisors with from the living room in first year, questions that I can find the answers I found this leads to isolation and too elsewhere was a strategy of writer’s guilt. Writer’s guilt – for mine. Did you know your university those fortunate enough to not know

a Masters, no matter what people may tell you. It is a sustained commitment to one topic and an end goal of producing new ideas and information. Furthermore, when you graduate you are expected to be an expert in your chosen topic, so being knowledgeable is paramount.

If you want to be taken seriously in the worlds of academia, media, communications etc then have confidence in your ability; chances are no other tortured soul has taken the time to read the amount you have in your topic or write a 80,000 word thesis.

Finally,

stop

comparing.

Theodore Roosevelt said that comparison is the thief of joy, which is something that will resonate with all later-stage PhD’s who are watching their friends progress into adulthood at a much faster pace and in a more comfortable way. It’s easy to compare your life to others.

It’s harder to become okay with the choice you made to do a PhD, as you may have to constantly defend it to others who helpfully ask: ‘Did you hear Katie* bought a house? And Sinead*’s after getting in engaged?

Save it Sandra, I have no time for this. 

12

Opinion

In Favour of Valentine’s Day Rían Browne O’Neill, Sexpress Editor

An argument in favour of valentine’s day is something I never thought I’d write. I have previously spent years gone by hating on the hallmark holiday. But now, finding myself in the precarious position of being in a long-term relationship, the targeted ads, the pressure surrounding the card the presents etc. is beginning to rear its head and, it’s left me to ponder the whole point of Valentines in the first place. The following is the conclusion I’ve come to – to embrace the holiday by turning it on its head.

A long story short, St Valentine earned his honorary holiday having

been imprisoned for wedding soldiers to their lovers, while in prison he ‘cured’ his jailer’s daughter of her blindness, the two fell in love and before his execution he left her a letter, signed ‘Your Valentine’. Not necessarily the average love story you’d find in your favourite rom-com. Fast forward a couple of hundred years, the holiday started popping up in English literature, garnering popularity with the tradition of hand-written notes to loved ones, the holiday made its way from the UK to the US where the mass production of cards and gift giving took hold – leading the way for the hallmark holiday we

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

know and love today. Many have come forward to criticize the overly corporate nature of valentine’s day, that it’s all about the expensive presents, cards and chocolates, that it isn’t about love but about how big your wallet/purse/bank balance is.

Although that is partly true, in my opinion it is only the case if that’s how you decide you want to measure how you celebrate those you love. In my opinion instead of getting bogged down about the day, embrace it! Use it as an excuse to appreciate those you’re closest to your friends, your partner(s), even you! This doesn’t mean breaking the bank, you can’t measure a relationship by the amount of money

Against Valentine’s Day Samantha Calthrop, Opinion Editor As much as it pains me to write this at the beginning of my piece that is literally arguing against Valentine’s Day: I don’t have anything against celebrating Valentine’s Day. Okay, so it’s commercialised; it’s a huge money-making fake holiday that capitalism made up so the chocolate companies could make a killing and the supermarkets could put their meals-for-two on sale. Let’s be real, though, so’s Easter. And Christmas.

I’m not going to pretend like I don’t spend money and participate in society and neither should you, so I’m not going to be a Valentine’s Grinch, because if you find it fun and romantic to buy cards and flowers and ask someone to be your Valentine, and that’s meaningful to you, why not. There’s no shame in enjoying things that are a little cheesy and being romantic and having fun, so you go ahead and live your life.

And if you think Valentine’s day is vapid and meaningless, great! Let your romantic friends go and enjoy themselves, buy the on-sale afterValentine’s chocolates and keep your mouth shut.

All that said, though, Valentine’s Day at its core celebrates something kind of dubious at best. A friend of mine once described Valentine’s Day as

a holiday more about single people than couples. It’s the notable day for people insecure in their inability to attract a partner to feel bad about it and have it rubbed in their face, or to try and pluck up their courage to ask out their crush. To celebrate romantic love and encourage people to go out and be cutesy about it is all well and good, but it really goes to highlight all the toxic aspects of dating culture altogether; the crushing pressure not to be single, the guilt of not having anyone to spend the day with. It highlights the worst parts of gender stereotypeNaturally, the man buys flowers and chocolates and the woman is encouraged to judge him harshly based on how much he kowtows to her on this day. It is a day for couples to go out and show their dedication to each other, with the sort of implied expectation that there is no need to be sappy, affectionate or romantic the other 364 days of the year. In fact, for a day about romantic love, there’s something oddly impersonal about Valentine’s Day. Anniversaries are for revisiting old places, personal gifts, the celebration of time and loyalty; Valentine’s Day is like an uncomfortably public, conformist version of the same thing, celebrating instead the other aspects of love, such as societal pressure, and the

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Opinion

13

spent on it, instead it should be about the time and thought invested in it.

Arrange to hang out with that friend you keep meaning to get coffee with, plan a wholesome movie night for you and your pals, get crafting and make your own gift for your significant other, make yourself your favourite dinner. Make a romantic new year’s resolution to take time to appreciate those wonderful relationships in your life more often and let February 14th be the starting point for it.

The world right now is gloomy enough as it is, why not take advantage of a day dedicated to positivity and love and embrace it by making it your own? general idea that women care more about these things more than men.

There is no celebration, of course, of friendship; of cherishing the people around you and reaching out to them.

There’s no Valentine’s Day tradition of reflecting on pleasant memories, resolving conflicts, or learning new things; the main point of the tradition is to eat richly, be embarrassed, and, I guess, have some sex. Look, I haven’t needed help doing those things any of the other days of the year and I don’t need it now.

Valentine’s Day to some is a chore, a burden that hangs over them; taunts them for being lonely or reminds them to avoid their partner’s ire, as though they need to impress them rather than be nice to them, It would be nice, I think, if more people took the time to make the day their own; if more people sent roses to their platonic friends just because that’s cute, that you ask people on mini-dates just because it’s fun; if more people spent Valentine’s day with their family, and more people could say, ‘Oh, that’s cute but meaningless’, because they get as much affection and attention as they need year-round. That’s the idea of Valentine’s Day, I guess, and it’s not one I’m going to argue against. But spare a thought for those out there who spent their 14th of February feeling lonely and bitter, underappreciated or under pressure.

Perhaps next year we can try and make it a better one. 

Keep Calm and Walk On! Aoife Gleeson, Opinion Writer

A person once said to me that you can’t climb a mountain with downhill thoughts.

This is not only true in life, but also can be literally applied toyou guessed it, folks- climbing an actual mountain! With the new year just beginning and fad diets and illuminous lycra in full swing, there is no doubt that many people have committed to their resolutions of getting fit and being healthy. From disco spinning to H.I.T. classes to jazzercize (yes that exists!), we aren’t short of new and exciting ways to exercise. However, the cheapest and most simple way of paring back that spare tyre is often overlooked and forgotten about.

Yes, the humble walk is more often seen as a necessary mode of transport than a form of actual exercise.

But combine all that walking with holistic hills and majestic mountains and you get, drumroll please, hillwalking. Absolutely mind-blowing!

Now what’s so great about hillwalking you may ask? Is that not just unnecessary strain and muck and rain and wind and turmoil? Well, yes... it is, actually (sorry to burst the bubble of all you future hill-walking enthusiasts). However, combined, they create something special, something magical even. The fresh air flowing through your veins, the wind in your hair, and birdsong in your ears make you feel more alive than ever, offering a sense of peace and calm and escapism from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Mind you, invest in a pair of good waterproof boots as nothing also makes you feel more “alive” than wet socks in squelching boots.

Believe me I’ve been there, carrying

around a whole aquatic ecosystem in my boots for three hours was not one of my best life experiences I can tell you. You’ve been Warned!

Not many forms of exercise can boast such a range of physical and mental benefits, all absolutely free! It is one of the more sociable exercises as it is possible to keep up a conversation throughout the hike, even if that does end up in making occasional strange and sporadic sounds just to get a gulp of air. Mindfulness is an unavoidable added bonus to hillwalking. The breath-taking scenery and immersion in the natural world make you uncannily more aware of your surroundings and the immediate moment.

Of course nothing forces you to be more present in the moment than climbing up a never-ending, steeplysloping hill. (On a side note, we have a hill in my local area aptly known as ‘Heart-Attack Hill’...I wonder why?). But wow, does the

struggle pay off when you reach the summit! An overwhelming sense of achievement (and relief) rushes through your body and you can’t help but give yourself a little pat on the back.

It is no surprise that hiking increasing serotonin levels, the happy hormone, in your body. It lowers cholesterol, reduces memory loss and strengthens your muscles. It can even reduce your risk of stroke by 30%. A study on hill-walking showed that just 75 minutes of walking a week can add almost two years to your life. Now, what’s not to love about hill-walking? Okay, probably the wet socks and muck up to your knees to be honest, but life is all about experiences, right?

We are lucky to have such amazing countryside in Ireland just waiting to be explored. All you need is a pair of walking boots and a mind filled with uphill thoughts. So, folks, why are you still sitting? 

€5 can get you...

Ar mhaith leat seachtain a chaitheamh sa Ghaeltacht?

Tar go dtí Ionad na Gaeilge Labhartha Áras Uí Rathaille ORB G02 25 Feabhra – 28 Feabhra 2019 10am - 4pm

A RETURN BUS TICKET FROM UCC TO TOWN

Scoláireachtaí Gaeltachta 2019

A SANDWICH FROM ELEMENTS CAFE ...AND A BRIGHTER, BETTER FUNDED EXPERIENCE FOR ALL FUTURE UCC STUDENTS Do you agree to a €5 increase in capitation, per year, to develop Student Media and establish new satelite common rooms?

Fáilte Roimh Gach Éinne

Vote ‘YES’ on the 5th & 6th of March #FIVETOTHRIVE

Ná caill do sheans 021 4902314 www.ucc.ie/igl/scolaireacht

Coláiste na hOllscoile Corcaigh University College Cork, Ireland

Irish Poster_2019_A5.indd 1

University Express

08/02/2019 12:53

BYLINE

Editorial and/or college road at some point, any point, any time of day any day, last week. I hope everyone is treating their bodies to some much needed, wholesome nutrition and pure, unadulterated hydration this post-RAG week.

Ciara Dinneen Byline Editor

Editorial #8 Post-sesh self-care It never fails to amaze me just how relentlessly we as college students are dedicated to the sesh.

I am not condoning our carry on.

I am not condemning it, either. I am, out of sincere, non-judgmental fascination, simply making an observation of our creature-ness.

We are filthy. I do not need to go into a list of examples or refer to any particular incident – one need only be on, near or around campus

Further than physical, bodily selfcare, here is a friendly reminder that in addition to the many other stresses that may be niggling away at your mind the weeks you don’t go out on a mad one or two or five, such an excess of alcohol and any other recreational substances that may be consumed can really aggravate an anxious, worrying or unhappy mind. So, when I say mind yourself I don’t just mean drink water and eat well. Take care of your head, too. There are loads of ways one can do this, and everyone has their own routine, but do make sure to put it into particular practice post-sesh.

On top of the substance-induced stresses on the mind, such sessions can often, for many, come with social stresses and/or difficulties, too. Keeping this in mind, while looking out for yourself, look out for friends too. Check in, catch up, plan a wholesome, energy and motivation replenishing, re-charge night in.

Fiction Moving Forward Wesley Martin

Who knows what’s next or what to expect, Don’t dwell on mistakes that you cannot correct.

Move forward, not back because life is short, Do it on your own or seek some support.

Don’t live with regret, try to forget, Train your brain, adopt a new mindset.

You may feel lost and begin to doubt, Just calm down and figure it out.

Don’t feel defeated or humiliated, Will power is strong and so underrated.

Motivate your mind, make it a habit, Stop giving in and saying “I’ve had it”.

16 Another very special (I say this with a sarcasm steeped in cynicism) event happened last week: Valentine’s Day. Or, as our humour editor Callum Casey refers to it in his section this week, the Capitalist Holiday. If you have a very special someone in your life and spent a lovely time with them this Valentine’s Day, then good for you. Genuinely, I mean that. As cynical and all as I am about the whole thing, good for you anyone who, in the face of all the cynical jokes, piss-taking and giving out that is done about it, went and planned something special for themselves and their significant other to enjoy. See, romance isn’t dead – its unavoidable, unbreakable, relentless it seems. It creeps in whether we embrace it or not. Cute stuff happens; between family, between friends, between lovers. We all engage in a kind of romance in some way, shape or form from time to time whether we are aware, accepting, or happy of the fact or not.

A few weeks back, I was delighted to get to speak with Finn, the man behind Uppbeat, a Dublin-based rapper originally from Mayo with a unique approach to his music projects. You can read all

about it in the interview section.

In this issue we welcome Sirius Speculation, constellation and cosmos specialist with a special talent for predicting the fortnightly fortunes of the zodiac signs. Find out your sign’s fate in the humour section. For those with an interest in the aesthetics of life, Sadhbh walks us through the need-toknows of Fashion Month in the Fashion section, while the film buffs and fans of Liam Neeson who have been feeling hurt, confused and generally misled after recent headlines can find comfort in the logic outlined by our always reliable Film & TV Editor, Joe Cunningham. Much more fantastically interesting reads to be found throughout Byline, as always, brought to you by the most wonderful team of editors and writers whose praises I will never cease to sing.

Much love,

Ciara D. Byline Cover: Eve Harrington

byline@uccexpress.ie

Fashion

Editor: Sadhbh Sullivan

17

In case you missed it…

Stormi turned 1! 

Fashion Month:

All you need to know Sadhbh Sullivan, Fashion Editor Each year the fashion world sees two ‘Fashion Months,’ one beginning in February, and another in September, each lasting four weeks, showcasing designers’ latest collections in the fashion capitals of the world, namely; New York, London, Milan and Paris (in that exact order). In February, designers showcase their Autumn/Winter collections, while in September designers debut their Spring/Summer collections for the following year.

From journalists and editors to fashion buyers, and even our favourite influencers, the ‘somebodies’ of the fashion industry brave the month with their favourite pair of stilettos, and of course a designer bag in hand. For the average Joe Soap, the whole occasion can seem somewhat mindboggling, so here’s some of the most commonly asked questions answered, all in the one place.

It’s only Spring, why are we seeing Autumn/Winter collections this month?

Fashion month showcases designer collections two seasons ahead of time.

This gives buyers and editors time to choose pieces they intend to purchase or feature in advance of when they arrive in store.

How long does a fashion show last?

Typically, shows last about ten minutes, but they’re followed by exhibition style presentations which can last a few hours.

Who goes to fashion week?

Fashion week is an invite-only affair.

The designer’s public relations team

compile a list of suitable industry players that might be interested in purchasing pieces from the collection or featuring it in their publication.

Tickets can also be requested through making direct contact with a show’s PR coordinator.

Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott’s daughter Stormi just turned one, and her birthday party was beyond extravagant.

Guests entered ‘Stormiland’ through a giant inflatable Stormi face and were treated to all kinds of Stormi themed snacks. The party had theme park-like rides, a gift shop, a magical rainbow forest, and Stormi’s favourite cartoon characters IRL. The verdict is mixed as to whether such an extravagant party is necessary or even appropriate, but as my mother would say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” and Kylie certainly did just that.

How long does it take to design a collection?

On average, it takes around 18 months for a designer to compile an entire collection.

Is there an Irish equivalent of Gucci apologised for that ‘black-face’ jumper It seems like the team over at Gucci took their eye off the ball, releasing a Fashion Week?

Here in Cork, Cork Fashion Week showcases some of our local and national talent. Founded by Lockdown PR, the week-long event usually takes place in the Autumn.

Details of the annual event can be found at www.corkfashionweek. com.

jumper that resembled black face makeup. The jumper has since been pulled from the market (both online and in-store), and the company have issued a statement to apologise, saying “we consider diversity to be a fundamental value to be fully upheld, respected, and at the forefront of every decision we make.”

In the capital, Dublin Fashion Festival also showcases some of Ireland’s upcoming designers, with a host of events taking place at various locations across the city. For more, see www.dff.ie 

American singer Joy Villa showcased her political preferences on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards recently.

Wearing a floor length reflective gown with barbed wire on her shoulders and spikes coming out of her head, mimicking the statue of liberty, the singer described her outfit as “the wall.” She teamed the look with a red ‘Make America Great Again’ purse.

Later she changed into a white brick wall patterned gown with the phrase ‘build the wall’ written on it.

Fashion Week Glossary:

Atelier: Workshop or studio Avant-garde: Innovative design Du jour: On trend Frow: Front row Haute Couture: “High sewing,” or

Donald Trump but make it fashion...? 

high fashion. Upscale, exclusive custom fit clothing

Prêt-à-porter:

Ready-to-wear clothing made for the masses

Riser: A platform at the end of the runway for photographers to take shots

Run-of-show: A master list that details every look in a show, catalogued in order.

 Victoria Beckham bans skins

Although Victoria Beckham’s fashion brand hasn’t been performing well lately, the designer has extended her strict no fur policy, which spans the entirety of her collection, to no exotic skins. The decision is reflective of both the brand, and ethical shoppers alike.

Film & T.V. Sitcoms’ Greatest Couples Joe Cunningham, Film & TV Editor

I have a curious relationship with sitcoms in that I don’t think I have ever watched one as the episodes came out on the TV. For me, sitcoms exist solely in the realms of unashamed binge where I watch twelve, twenty-episode-long seasons in about a week while sat alone in bed eating biscuits and drinking tea.

There is genuinely nothing better for wasting time and forgetting about life than sitcoms: they don’t require you to pay full attention, but they can be just as emotional, funny and impactful as more creditable forms of cinematic entertainment. Seeing as it was Valentine’s Day last week, it seemed conveniently appropriate to compile a list of my all-time favourite sitcom couples, as I, once again, sat alone, in bed, eating biscuits and drinking tea:

Ross and Rachel (Friends):

It makes sense to get the most obvious out of the way with first. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t seen at least some of Friends but if they exist I’m sure even they must have heard of televisions most famous couple. Ross and Rachel’s ten year long, on again off again relationship is still the benchmark by which all subsequent sitcom romances are judged. It is at times hilarious, heartbreaking, infuriating and makes you genuinely give up hope that they’ll ever manage more than half a season happily together in one another’s arms. Rachel is scattered

and spoilt, Ross is neurotic, stubborn and occasionally creepy and they seem to take delight in breaking one another’s hearts, but it makes for arresting viewing and looking back, would you have it any other way?

Any relationship that spawned as famous a phrase as “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” must be outside of the ordinary.

Clickbait can vary in scope from being mildly annoying to socially and culturally dangerous. This may sound a tad dramatic, but it’s a fact. How many times have you clicked on an article because of a punchy headline, only to find that the content does not justify the expectation engendered by the title? My own personal bugbear is

the TV Couples halls of fame. The final episode/scene that they share together is one of the most heartbreaking moments in any sitcom.

Pam and Jim (The Office US):

Sam and Diane (Cheers):

The archetypal example of opposites attract, Cheers’ Sam and Diane are one of the most mismatched couples in sitcom history. He is an exbaseball player, pub-owning, ladyloving, man’s man of limited scope and intellect. She is a highfalutin, snobbish, highly-educated, prima donna from an upper-class background who has been reduced to waiting tables at Sam’s bar. By rights they should hate one another, and they frequently do. But they also find each other utterly irresistible, and every pitfall and sign that they should not be together is clumsily but always successfully overcome by their love and crazy chemistry.

Their fight scenes are legendary and the extent to which they fail to understand one another is both frustrating and hilarious. Although Shelley Long (who played Diane) departed after season 5 of the show, the relatively short time they had together, in sitcom terms, is more than enough to ensure their place in

The Neeson Misunderstanding Joe Cunningham, Film & TV Editor

Editor: Joe Cunningham

18

two-fold. The amount of times I have clicked on a Facebook article that tells me that my football team has signed an “INCREDIBLE NEW STAR, YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO IT IS!!!” only for me to open the article and discover that there is a very good reason why I’ll “never guess who it is” – namely that the article contains the revelation that Chelsea have got a

I have honestly never shipped a couple as hard as I shipped Pam Beesly and Jim Halpert from the American version of The Office.

From the very first moment they share screen-time it is obvious that they are meant to be together. Of course, it can never be that easy, Pam is engaged and when she breaks off the engagement, Jim gets a girlfriend. This back and forth of will-they-won’t-they lasts for an excruciatingly long time with many misunderstandings and near misses along the way. When it finally, and inevitably happens, it genuinely had me clapping and beaming for joy alone in my room.

If Sam and Diane are an example of opposites attract, then Pam and Jim are an equal example of two people who are absolutely destined to be together. They have an encyclopaedic knowledge of one another’s likes and dislikes, have the same impish sense of humour, and are lucky to possess that kind of relationship where if one looks up knowingly at the other, the other will be looking right back at them.

I defy you to find many scenes that will make you smile more than the new person cutting the grass at their stadium – is uncountable. While this may not be anything more than a bit irritating, clickbait is not always directed at subjects as generally insignificant as Chelsea’s dodgy transfer policy.

Starting an article about the furore surrounding Liam Neeson’s recent comments, made during an interview with The Independent last month, with a diatribe against clickbait may seem a little strange, but it is in fact

one in which Jim FINALLY asks Pam out to dinner.

Cam and Mitchell (Modern Family):

Cam and Mitchell, from the hugely successful sitcom Modern Family, have been held aloft as one of TV’s few examples of a successfully portrayed gay couple but they are so much more than that. Cam and Mitchell are an ode to any couple who have ever had an argument or bitched pettily and needlessly at one another, while still remaining as solid as a rock. Cam and Mitchell are complete opposites in terms of character: Cam is lovable, illogical, impulsive, high-maintenance and bitchy, with far too many emotions; Mitchell is highly-strung, repressed, overly cautious and oppressively sensible, with just as many emotions but no way of expressing them. They adopt a kid, start and sustain a loving family and become successful, all while maintaining a constantly level of petty disagreement which is delightful and utterly relatable.

Nearly every episode features some kind of falling-out or misunderstanding, usually involving Cam attempting to conceal some consequence of his irrepressible impulsiveness from his neurotic husband, but invariably ends with them reaffirming their undoubtable commitment to one another.  highly relevant. Where clickbait becomes actually dangerous is when it provides seriously misleading information that can lead the large portion of the public who scroll past articles without opening them, and who base their opinions predominantly on the information imparted by the limited headline, with a worryingly inaccurate view of the topic being discussed. The format of social media sites such as Facebook lends itself consciously to this style of

headline: companies with sites gain traffic from the volume of clicks they generate so it makes good business sense that an article should try to be as punchy and attractive as possible in the hopes of luring in a greater audience. This modus operandi is nothing new; tabloid newspapers have been employing it for decades.

Some of the most famous, and most inaccurate, headlines in history have been, for want of a better term, clickbait. The difference with the advent of social media is that both the volume and accessibility of this clickbait material has increased massively.

To return to the issue at hand, Liam Neeson’s recent comments in a newspaper interview, namely that in his youth he spent a brief period of time carrying a cosh and stalking the streets in the hopes of revenging the alleged rape of a close friend by a black man, whom he referred to in quotations marks as “a black bastard”, have caused consternation and led to heavy condemnation of the Irish actor by some sections of the media and public. I myself first found out about this story when scrolling through my newsfeed and my immediate reaction to the headlines, which were predominantly in the vein of “LIAM NEESON SAYS HE WANTS TO KILL BLACK PEOPLE”, was disappointment that an actor I admire would say something so insensitive and foolish. But, knowing what social media is like for spinning headlines, I clicked into and read the article in question – I must note briefly, to my shame, that I have not always been so scrupulous as to form a considered opinion. Unsurprisingly, I found on closer inspection that Neeson had not said he wanted to kill black people, nor that he hated black people, or anything that the headline might have led me to believe. Instead, he was making the point that he himself had been guilty of illogical and blind racism in the past, and moreover that he was, in his own words, “thoroughly ashamed” of his actions which he said were stupid and wrong.

The overriding message that I took from his interview was that racism is fuelled by a lack of education and blind illogical dogma perpetrated by the kind of society that Neeson, and many others, grew up in. His use of the phrase “black bastard” was accompanied by the actor miming quotation marks and was obviously a reference to the overriding opinions that would have been expressed at the time under discussion.

Unfortunately, a large portion of the individuals who would have read the title, would not have bothered clicking into the article and discovering the context, or if they did would not read much more than the first few lines another popular tactic employed by these kind of clickbaitey sites is that the relevant information is always concealed at the end of the page so you have to scroll past the ads to find it. Instead, their opinion on matters of great import such as this are formed predominantly from catchy headlines, which are by nature, often highly factually inaccurate. Couple this with social media’s ability to afford people the luxury of voicing these tainted opinions at will, and you have a very dangerous combination.

Twitter, that notorious breedingground for the propagation of factual inaccuracies, was awash with people deriding Neeson for his comments and claiming they’d never watch one of his movies again, although it must be said that a large proportion of people were, like me, defending his comments and their context.

Articles on renowned news-sites were similarly split. I have seen some writers arguing that his comments signal the prejudice that black people face and highlight the predominant attitude possessed of white people like Neeson, which regards members of the black community as rapists and murderers. While I am in full agreement that black people still, shamefully, have to contend with appalling racism and discrimination to this day, I strongly disagree that Neeson’s comments accentuate such a corrupted world view. They were comments that, importantly, show how an ingrained racist mindset can be changed by time and education and how someone like Neeson, who grew up in an extremely conservative society, can actively come to realise the error of their opinions and completely refute them. That Neeson should be castigated for proving that indoctrinated racism can be counteracted and neutralised is nearly as damaging as actively promoting racist ideologies, in my opinion.

Unfortunately, social media and clickbait style articles are a dangerous phenomenon by which such narrow and unsubstantiated outlooks, can often be propagated and become dominant. As with most issues encountered in life, it is important to make informed and calm decisions based on fact and reason, rather than emotion and hearsay. 

19

Romcom Recommendations

All that writing about couples has got me in the romcom mood so in a similar vein, here are some movies to watch for the week that’s in it:

As Good As It Gets:

Jack Nicholson is at his laconic best in another heart-warming romcom about Melvin, a misanthropic writer with severe OCD who falls in love with a waitress at the café he frequents. Both Nicholson and costar Helen Hunt won Oscars for their roles and they are complimented brilliantly by Greg Kinnear’s gay neighbour. A wonderful story of a man rediscovering himself with the help of friendship and love, it has many laugh out loud moments thanks to some brilliant dialogue and Jack Nicholson’s iconic facial expressions.

About Time:

What makes this movie so good was covered brilliantly by Eadaoin Regan, Arts & Literature Editor, in the last issue of University Express, so I won’t go too much into it here. Safe to say it is one of the sweetest, most heart-warmingly simple movies you will ever watch. It revolves around the concept of time travel but dispenses with any saving-theworld nonsense and keeps it simple and wonderful. Donal Gleeson and Rachel McAdams star, with a brilliant supporting cast including Bill Nighy. One of the best romantic films ever.

Notting Hill:

Hugh Grant at his bumbling and lovable best, and Julia Roberts as the film star who falls for him. This movie is sweet, lovable, and quintessentially English in its setting and dialogue.

Ghost:

Not really a romcom, but still hilarious in parts, mostly due to Whoopi Goldberg’s quirky fortune teller. Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore star in this timeless story of a man who is killed but comes back to watch over his fiancé. Still just as good today as when it came out, Ghost has the romance stuff and the fun action/drama stuff in equally pleasing measure. Also features the much-referenced clay-moulding scene.

INTERVIEW

20

21 in Swords, in North Dublin, which is run by producers Chilli and Shortcut. I stumbled across them this year – they’re absolutely incredible.

‘Tsunami’ was recorded by a guy called Tunde (mixedbysimba) – he records a lot of the urban, hiphop stuff in Ireland, he’s based in Tallaght. One or two of the tracks were recorded with a guy called Kreo Ghost, he’s from Waterford. So between those three places, but most of it was recorded in Swords.”

What do you think of the music scene in Ireland currently?

You just can’t Uppbeat the Irish music scene

Interview By Ciara Dinneen, Byline Editor

Ireland, it seems, is currently moving through an experimental development in regards to its music scene, producing an increasing number of artists that are veering away from the more general singersongwriter vibe (there is nothing at all wrong with this genre, of course, but it did become the typical for a while), breaking into an interesting blend of hip-hop, rap and techno music that is contributing to the creation of a new, uniquely modern Irish sound. While many deny rap music’s place in an authentically Irish music scene, it is no surprise that rap has become a genre through which Irish artists are increasingly expressing themselves; when we look back to our root traditions of sean-nós and story-telling ballads, one cannot deny the close connection to a rap style of musical expression.

certain path, whereas a lot of the music on the EP, [Enter Aquarius], is relatable to anyone in Ireland. Like, ‘Irish Blood’ is talking about a lot of people in situations they feel they can’t survive, like in college with issues like housing, and obviously mental health, all that – basically a very mainstream person’s experience of life in Ireland. It’s not too in depth or in detail, it’s just your average day to day stuff. The EP was more music driven, it wasn’t that conceptual – I had a lot of the songs already done before, then I just pieced them together as an EP. The main idea was to capture the majority of Ireland in one vibe as opposed to one very specific walk of life.”

One

such

artist

is

Uppbeat,

undoubtedly a name to watch in 2019. Originally from Mayo but currently living in Dublin, Finn, the man behind Uppbeat, began writing at age 11, inspired by his parents who are both painters; “because I’m really bad at any other form of creativity, I tried writing. I used to listen to a lot of punk and rock music and eventually that developed into rap. When I started listening to rap, I said to myself ‘shit I should try that’, because I used to write just pop songs. Now I’ve moved even beyond rap – I don’t know what you’d call it.” In his latest works, most notable the hit-single ‘Tsunami’ and the EP Enter Aquarius, Uppbeat displays a unique blend of rap and an intensely atmospheric vibe.

Having heard and loved Uppbeat’s ‘Tsunami’, and been excited by hearing about Uppbeat’s release of his EP Enter Aquarius, which so

successfully delivers on its promise to take you on an intimate journey through the thoughts and feelings of a young person in Ireland, I was anxious to talk to Finn about his music and what Uppbeat has in store for the future. Describing the EP as “a little glimpse inside who he is as an artist”, Uppbeat explains the meaning behind the name, Enter Aquarius; “I am an Aquarius, so the EP is basically me giving you a glimpse of who I am and where I am from. It’s an introduction to Uppbeat, what he is and what he sounds like.”

You address aspects of growing up in Ireland in your music. What is it exactly you address, and what is the message you are trying to get across?

“A lot of Irish artists are tackling a very specific side of things, like one

Where did you record the EP?

“Most of it is recorded in a studio

“I absolutely love the Irish scene.

I’m a fan of so many of the people in the Irish scene. I think it’s such an extraordinary scene compared to any other scene at the moment – I actually think it will be on the same level as say the UK or America; it’s got its own sound. Very few other places in the world actually have as many artists that are as developed as ours, look at the likes of Jafaris, Kojaque, Chasing Abbey and Rejjie Snow, people that have already made it, they’re all not just semi-okay artists, they’re all very, very good artists; I’d call them all top-tier artists. They’re creativity is extraordinary. In Ireland there are very few average artists; everyone is at a very high level. Their exposure may not be, but their actual music and videos and everything is top-tier, I feel.”

It is so true that the music scene in Ireland is really kicking off and seems to be going somewhere new and great...

“I think it’s in a really healthy place and that it’s going somewhere incredible. There is so much to it; it’s not as basic as it looks from the outside. There are a lot of stories.

We even have an Irish drill scene, which is like the rawest strain of street music coming out of the UK. There are so many niche scenes within the Irish scene and that’s what I think it making it a healthy one; it’s not just the one sound, everyone has a completely different sound, and that’s healthy. I feel like that’s how you know a scene is going to grow. Like, there’s only about two or three sounds coming out of the

UK, whereas in American there are thousands of different sounds, and the same in Ireland; there are about four or five, six, maybe ten different sounds coming out of Ireland and it’s good to see that.”

Do you think streaming sites, such as Spotify, are making it difficult for artists to make a living?

“I think Spotify is a great thing. It’s actually so easy to get your music out there on Spotify. Yeah, it is rubbish that Spotify only pays like 0.006%, but also if Spotify wasn’t there, there probably wouldn’t be any way to monetise it, so at least it’s something. One of the amazing things about Spotify is that it is so easy to discover new artists and people are actually looking for new artists. In terms of making money, that’s more of a gigs thing; that’s across the board, not just in Ireland. So it’s definitely more of a performance-driven industry than it is sales and streams.”

the fact that we make rap music couldn’t make more sense. The amount of poets and the amount of different creative writing artists, and there are other amazing artists in Ireland doing others things too, but we are champions for our writers.

Obviously we didn’t grow up with a culture of it in the same way that America has, but we have our own culture. If you go to Limerick, for example, it’s just a bed of culture when it comes to hip-hop; if you go there on a night out you’ll bump into someone, just a lad, chilling there, rapping or spitting bars or whatever. There definitely is a huge culture here. In terms of feedback I get, nothing too bad. Obviously it’s not all positive. Everyone around me is involved in what I do, so there isn’t anyone in my life that would be negative about it. You do get shit, like, but that’s all part of it.”

Apart from Irish traditions, are there any other cultural influences that you experiment It’s so great to hear how positive you feel about being an Irish with in your music?

“Something I find really interesting artist in Ireland. and what I’ve been playing around “I actually feel blessed. This is the perfect time. We are so lucky to be making this music at this time in the world, because it’s only just becoming a cool thing. Like, obviously we were here before, and it was cool then, but it’s becoming so much more so; people are actually looking for new artists and loving what is coming out of Ireland and I think the Irish scene really is going to become something that people look to. They already are, like blogs wise, there is a lot of exposure coming in for the Irish scene. We just need to keep delivering and keep actually stepping up to that mark. I think we’re in a really great place and that it’s just a matter of about two years before things are at a really high level.”

with a bit recently, and you can probably hear it on the EP as a lot of people would say that my accent on the EP is very African sounding, are the tones of voice that are in say afro-beat music or scat style. It’s very similar to sean-nós singing; it’s all in the same space vocally. That’s another thing I find very interesting: if we actually use that whole tonality of sean-nós singing over hip-hop music – I think that’s something that could be played around with as well, if it’s done properly. Blues is another thing: blues is huge in Ireland, and hip-hop comes from blues. It’s all connected! Where I grew up in Mayo it’s all blues bands, rock bands, and it just makes sense that that progresses into hip-hop, we’re just a few years behind the rest of the world.”

Have you ever received any negative feedback, claiming that rap isn’t an authentically Irish Hip-hop is incredible, but some of thing and asking you why you’re it does get a very bad press...

“As much as it is great, a lot of doing it?

“I think that’s absolutely mental, like. We’re writers. Irish history, and going back to Irish mythology, we’ve always been writers, so I think

hip-hop is still incredibly sexist and homophobic; it just isn’t really saying anything. You get this oversaturation of everyone talking about

the same thing and it really pushes certain stigmas and makes them stronger, which isn’t great.”

Who are some of your favourite current artists?

“I really love J. Cole, Flatbush Zombies, I love a lot of the UK scene.

I literally grew up on grime, since I was about ten I’ve been listening to grime. That was a really interesting scene to see grow. A guy called Yela Wolf, he’s from Alabama, he’s incredible. On an alternative buzz, I also like the Horslips, they’re an Irish band, they’re absolutely incredible. I like so many people. Like, Irish wise I like nearly everyone on the scene. I actually don’t think there is anyone I don’t like in the Irish scene. Mura Masa is amazing, probably one of my favourite artists. FKJ, too.”

Dream collaboration?

“I don’t know why, I have a weird thing where I really want to collaborate with Lana Del Ray. I just think she’s really cool. Mura Masa would be very high up there; I’d actually love to make a whole project with Mura Masa. I’d prefer to go with people that aren’t just straight hip-hop artists, but on the hip-hop front A$AP Rocky would be really cool person to collaborate with. Yela Wolf would be amazing as well. Phil Lynott would be really cool, from Thin Lizzy, he’d be very interesting”

Who is your least favourite artist at the moment?

“To be honest, I don’t have a least favourite artist, because everything is way more than you think it is.

Like, if you listen to say mumble-rap you might think ‘this is shit’ but it’s not, it’s genius – the way they can tap into tones and certain sounds, even though the artist is mumbling, it’s genius. I think it’s really ignorant when people in music are like, ‘oh all you’re doing in rap is this’ or ‘all you’re doing in country music is this’, but there is so much more to every type of music so you can’t ever right it off as shit. Obviously there is music I don’t like, like I don’t like music that promotes toxic shit. That’s something that’s really draining.”

Music older people most nights. Many people come with an intrigue into this house and techno oriented club.

The word techno appears to carry many negative connotations, and even having mentioned it twice in the space of two sentences I already hear my internal monologue (and people at pre-drinks) saying “Don’t tell me you’re putting on techno. Is that techno? Can you turn it off and put on songs with lyrics please!”

Dali opened the 4th of May 2018. It pegs itself as being “super passionate about music…bringing the best, topnotch techno and house to little old Cork City”, a genre of music which contrasts sharply to the Top 40 tunes found in most other nightclubs.

Unique to Dali is the building in which it is set. 13 Carey’s Lane once functioned as a cinema in the 1900s - the previous life of the building provides the interior of the club with coffer-like interior roofing which gives the club a soul unlike any other.

Has Dali Filled a Gap in Cork’s Nightlife?

Eoghan O’Donnell, Music Writer “Would you like to go back dancing?”

Elena asks me enthusiastically.

I’m puffing on the ends of my rollie, angry at the fact I promised myself I would stop smoking on nights out, laughing pathetically because I knew it would inevitably happen anyways.

We are in the smoking chamber of Dali, a jam-packed sprawling black tunnel which functions to provide a means for the nicotine addicts to relieve their stress, but also a way for the many night-goers to discuss the attractions of one of Cork’s newest clubs. The crowd here is different, and this is explained by the scene of the club. While in any other club in Cork, most people would sneer at the mere mention of a song without vocals, or a song which is entirely just bass, here in Dali the crowd suggests an intrigue into a nightclub which has the potential to change the popular nightlife Cork city has to offer.

I head to the floor with Elena, and we are instantly immersed into the booming, atmospheric dancing going on all around us. Heavier than the dance-music I’d be familiar with, we are provided with means to get us properly in the groove.

Constantly changing rhythms and unexpected drops. The difference Dali makes is that it provides a way

Editor: Caoimhe Coleman

22

for people in Cork who are interested in experiencing or who enjoy house and techno to be exposed to the many variables which the music can provide. Dali boasts the biggest Void install and the first Arcline 8 system in Ireland, technologies which dramatically improve the perceived sound quality and definition.

There is an air of acceptance in Dali, attracting both students and

Open every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and the occasional Tuesday, Dali hosts a range of different acts every night. Priding itself on hosting local, national and international acts, Dali’s nights project local DJ collaboratives like Remedy DJs and Fish-Go-Deep (whose members have close connections to our very own UCC), but also bigger acts such as Kettama and Mallgrab - who are known worldwide for their innovative sets. Catering to many different music-listeners, Dali hosts nights such as Taboo, which immerses the club into the grooves of Hip Hop,

poetry. But I’d argue, it’s the same recipe for song-writing.

R&B and Afrobeat Music.

Nightlife is an intrinsic part of our society, and us Irish folk will always indulge any excuse to hit the club.

Nightlife in Ireland not only provides a more dynamic social scene, giving citizens the means of expression through dance and performance but it also boosts the economy. Most nightclubs are indigenous businesses in Ireland, and employ people of all ages including many students.

Most of us are also familiar with the ways in which we are regarding money under the influence of even the smallest amount of alcohol - yes, I am talking about the notorious tap of the debit card, and this frivolous spending only adds to the strength of our economy.

Although many different kinds of nights are provided at Dali, like other clubs, these are limited by the restrictions of Irish nightlife.

Something which has been discussed lately by many is the limitations of laws regarding opening-hours in nightclubs. Clubs are forced to close before 3am, which is about the time that the night is only kicking into full-swing in mainland Europe. Give Us The Night is an independent volunteer group which has been in the news lately for its campaign to install changes into the Irish nightlife scene, campaigning to improve the hours of music-venues in particular to enhance the quality in Ireland. Will the introduction of more clubs with various types of music, such as Dali provide the demand needed to alter strict licensing laws? 

Songwriters also have rather tortured methods of extrapolating their feelings.

Hot Water = Bad Breakups.

What: Non-profit organisation set up in 2017 to give artists a platform for experimental music and works. Think out of the ordinary, intriguingly different acts.

Where: The Kino, St. Luke’s Crypt, St. Peter’s Church, City Hall, Dali.

When: Four days of events across Cork City, March 29th – March 31st 2019.

Tickets: 3-Day Weekend Tickets €60; Day Tickets €25 – 33 from eventgen.ie.

Milk = The bridge + the catchy chorus.

The Cup of Tea / Song = “We Are Never Getting Back Together”.

There is something about being human that compels us to tell stories.

Some part of our wiring that drives us to connect with other people through our words, sounds, movements, the tone in our voices. This desperation, this loneliness that exists as a result of us being ignored has crippled people for literally centuries with no outlet other than the pen and page. Nowadays, when it comes to communicating these vast feelings, all you need do is fire up Spotify and find someone who feels vaguely the same as you. Music can add to your melancholy or brighten your life depending on the lyrics and melody.

But what if you take away the melody? What if you just have the words to keep you company? There has always been a high-strung debate on whether music is poetry, which artform is better blah blah blah… how about a middle ground you say? Let me introduce you to spoken word. Spoken word has always been seen as somewhat musical, heck, the Greeks, Celts and Vikings told their stories in meter and often times sung them to music. Obviously, we’re not all in togas or longboats talking about pillaging villages or dragons (albeit, Brexiteers seem to do a lot of both but we won’t go into that),

we have a new way of interpreting this art, because, like all good art, it develops into something better. So what is classified as good spoken word and why is it relevant now?

Good spoken word is like a good cup of tea.

To start, you need hot water. This is the thing that scalds your heart, makes you want to turn yourself inside out, it’s the problem that needs relieving.

Then you need your teabag. This is your reaction to the problem, you’re explosive colouring of the now murky waters. You squish all of your feelings out, press that damn teabag against the side of that semi-washed mug!

After you have this clusterfuck of emotions out in the world, you need sugar. It sweetens the tortured artistic pain for your listener. It’s the words, the rhythm, the sounds…

Then there’s the milk. It might be the most important ingredient. It’s the part of the poem that says “hey, so the hot water is bad, the tea is clearly showing that I have a lot of feelings, and no matter how much I sugar-coat it, I can’t swallow without a resolution that all things will pass, that the perfect blend of all these things allows people to move on.” That’s the tea on spoken word

Season in Cork Caoimhe Coleman, Music Editor

Sugar = A super easy chord progression and a toe-tapping tune.

Alana Daly Mulligan, Music & Arts Writer

Plan Your Festival

Prime example: Taylor Swift (yes, I went there, but bear with me).

Tea = All those super sucky breakup feelings.

The Tea on Spoken Word and Music

23

Boom. Mind blown. Now you can go forth and write. But here’s the thing many people don’t get, if this very simple TEA formula proves that songs can earworm into the brains of popular imagination, then why aren’t we all spitting Emmet Kirwan? One reason I would offer is down to the difficulty of listening to someone and taking in everything they say for long periods of time.

Melody assists in this. Just look at any popular spoken word videos in the last four years-I would bet 90% all have some sort of dramatic instrumental in the background, which makes you feel more than just the words. But then again, I’d argue a good piece shouldn’t need music. Another reason is poetry can be hyper-political and when people go to relax, you don’t want to hear about the cataclysmic mess that we’re in, they want to feel happy and instead turn on some brainless mainstream pop radio and rot their brains out. (I’m not shitting on pop, I love pop, I just hate pop radio…)

But with reasons like this, we still see the spoken word scene sneak into the world of festivals and opening acts for bigger musicians. In aeons, spoken word hasn’t gone out of fashion, we all need to cathartically yell about something at some stage in our lives and perhaps the artform justifies hurting. It justifies long rambles, short rambles, well-formed rambles and free-formed rambles.

It congratulates you on your first love, holds you when it goes sour, but nonetheless, it teaches you to love the feelings you had before. It accepts all voices towards the cause of a common sound for humanity.

While on the outset, people aren’t necessarily mad for it, sometimes we all need a cup of tea, to chill us out and remind us that you can deal with pretty much anything, once you have the right blend. 

Cork Sound Fair

It Takes A Village

What: A strictly over 21s weekend of music and entertainment away from the madness of Cork City. Three main venues and a number of pop-up stages across 120 acres. There’s even a swimming pool!

Where: Trabolgan, East Cork.

When: May 10th – May 12th 2019.

Tickets: Ticket bookings include accommodation in a self-catering house/apartment/campervan site – this is a no camping festival. Tier 4 tickets available now: Camper Van Sites €189 pp sharing; Houses €259 pp sharing; Sunday Day Tickets €55 from uticket.ie.

Lineup Highlights: Junior Brother, Pillow Queens, Saint Sister.

Live At The Marquee

What: A festival-esque series of gigs taking place over the space of a month in a huge tent. That’s literally it.

Where: Live At The Marquee, Docklands, Cork.

When: June 8th – July 7th 2019.

Tickets: Ticket prices vary for each event. Available from ticketmaster.ie.

Lineup Highlights: TOTO, Versatile, Kris Kristofferson & The Strangers, Tash Sultana, David Gray.

Indiependence

What: A veteran of the festival scene here in Cork, Indiependence was founded in 2006. A 52 acre site with multiple stages. Nominated for IMRO Music Festival of the Year 2018.

Where: Deer Farm, Mitchelstown.

When: August 2nd – August 4th 2019.

Tickets: Full price weekend tickets now available, €149 from tickets.ie. Onsite camping included. More “boujie” camping options also available to purchase e.g. “Festi Huts.”

Lineup Highlights: Biffy Clyro, Nothing But Thieves, The Frank & Walters, Fanglcub, Powpig.

Gaming

Editor: Cian Mcgrath

24

UCC Netsoc Announces Esports Team

Gaming is good for you:

the Mental, Physical and Social Benefits Cian McGrath, Gaming Editor

Often, in modern culture, video games are portrayed in a negative light. Whether it be isolation, deterioration of mental and physical health or the formulation of violent thoughts. While some of these arguments may hold some merit, they are often conflated as fact. In recent years, certain aspects of the media have attempted to link gun-crime in the US to violent thoughts and aggression caused by violent video games, and despite the fact that these claims are often unsubstantiated or unfound, these opinions often linger in the minds of those who hear them.

As such, this article will cover some of the contended positive effects of video games across various studies, ranging from mental, physical or social benefits.

Perhaps one of these alleged affects which may first come to mind would be isolation or social exclusion. It is not a stretch to think that perhaps someone who plays games alone at home may, at points, feel quite lonesome, but in fact, it has often been proven that the opposite is the case. The increase in multiplayer games has led to a new form of online socializing. Where, at first, many of these games may lead to random global match-making, over time, multi-player gaming has led to the development of vibrant communities and friendships, where people with a similar interest in games will repeatedly play together.

In the case of UCC, there are two societies which centre around video games, and the communities which are formed in both are vibrant and extremely active.

It should also not be forgotten that online gaming can at times bridge the gap between distant friends, retaining strong bonds between old friends just as much as they form new ones. The level of constant communication has been proven to result in the development of meaningful relationships due to the

This week, UCC Netsoc, the Networking, Gaming and Technology Society, has entered a team into Irish Collegiate Esports’s Overwatch Collegiate Championship. A team of 6 UCC students will compete at intervarsity level against various colleges across Ireland. The Netsoc Rebels will be the first official UCC eSports team to compete in any Irish Collegiate Esports tournament.

fact that, in many cases, players are over-coming obstacles alongside their friends. There have also been studies conducted on the positive effects that gaming can have for people who live with autism. Many people who have the condition have been found to have overcome social obstacles which they normally could not due to communication issues associated with their condition. It has also been found that sharing a team with players and the communication that comes with that, has led to greater social interaction for people with autism outside of video games. This can also be seen often for younger children, who may find interaction with others difficult.

In some cases, children can find it far easier to communicate online with friends at first and this could certainly create an initial connection needed to form a greater friendship.

Beyond the social aspects, it has been said that various mental health benefits have been suggested to accompany those who regularly play video games. It has been suggested that decision making can be improved and quickened from playing games. Due to the nature of many of these games, fast-pace and unforgiving, gamers often react quicker and more logically than others in reaction to questions regarding image processing. Problem solving is such a large part of video games due to the sheer amount of split-second decisions that players make in each and every game. The problem-solving, memory, and puzzle components of video games have been shown to have a positive benefit on older players. In one study, just 10 hours of play led to increased cognitive functioning in participants 50 and older.

Beyond just decision making, it has been argued that multi-tasking skills are improved massively through video games due to the level of observation needed to look at the various figures, stats and more highlighted on the GUI, while also

25

Irish Collegiate Esports works with students and colleges to organise Esports clubs and tournaments by providing the support and opportunities to compete in the world of Esports. ICE is also aiming to have Esports recognised by the Sports Council of Ireland.

WARPCON XXIX Cian McGrath, Gaming Editor WARPCON is an annual gaming convention run by the UCC WARPS Society. WARPCON is a three-day gaming event hosted on the campus of University College Cork and is one of the best options in Ireland for a weekend of fun, games and just pure shenanigans. This year's convention ran from January 25th to 27th.

interacting with your controller or keyboard. It really is no surprise that split-second decision making, coupled with the level of observation needed leads to improvements overall in reactions, co-ordination and much more. While many may think that gaming involves merely staring at a screen inanely, this could not be further from the truth. Mental stimulation is something that is just as important as physical in many aspects. The fine-tuning of visual, audial and physical movements has been proven to improve hand-eye co-ordination and fine motor skills.

It has also been suggested that while playing video games has led to stress, that they improve individual’s

abilities to deal with these stresses and that adrenaline response to stress can decrease significantly over time.

This study also claimed that there was a noticeable improvement in ‘the ability to refrain from responding to non-target stimuli’, also known as a reduction in impulsiveness.

The link between violence in video games, and real-life aggression is one that has been well-reported, but is there any substance to the debate? That is a topic that is far too important and nuanced to be merely tacked on at the end of this piece.

Check back in the next issue for some analysis of the arguments for and against, and much much more.

The convention includes various games being played, whether it be RPGs, LARPS, Wargames or CCGs as well as video games. The whole convention is family friendly and attracts all ages. WARPCON 29 was a resounding success with 440 attendees. The convention begins on the Friday and continues through until Sunday evening, with the attendees spending the vast majority of their weekend socialising and engaging with those of similar interest, learning, teaching and competing in various table top and role-playing games. The Student Centre in UCC transforms into a hub of those interested in gaming of all varieties, with younger gamers learning from those with more experience. Various regulars of WARPCON were to be seen, with some attendees donning t-shirts from

nearly 15 conventions before.

Perhaps the most astounding thing about WARPCON is the charitable side of the convention, with this year’s iteration supporting Cork City Hospitals Children's Club.

This money is raised through the ticket sales, t-shirt sales and via the charity auction which takes place on the Saturday night. The generosity shown by the participants is nothing short of astounding. The community of 400+ who attend show fantastic readiness to donate copious amounts to a great cause. The 2019 convention raised €13,560, an absolutely magnificent achievement for all those involved, who volunteered their time to organise the convention including the Convention Director, Ultan Casey and WARPS chairperson, Joey de l’Arago.

As WARPCON moves closer to its 30th occurrence, the convention shows no sign of slowing down, nor does the community which surrounds it. A mainstay of the UCC academic year, WARPCON will no doubt continue to provide a fantastic weekend for gamers of any interest. Congratulations to all those involved.

Intervarsity tournaments are organised in Overwatch, League of Legends, CS:GO and Super Smash Bros Ultimate.

The Netsoc Rebels will compete solely in Overwatch for the remainder of this academic year, with the goal of competing across all four games by October 2019.

Jason Power, a commentator for ICE and current master’s student in UCC, was one of the driving forces behind the launch of the team.

Further information on ICE can be found on collegeesports.ie.

If anyone wishes to join the Netsoc Rebels they can contact UCC Netsoc across various social media platforms, or myself directly at gaming@uccexpress.ie 

Humour

UCC EXPRESS’ SURVIVAL GUIDE TO THAT

Donald Trump Confirmed to

POST-VALENTINES DAY SLUMP

be Feline in Disguise Sarah Ryan, Humour Writer

Long-known to be the coldest, most self-obsessed species of the animal kingdom, it came as no surprise to anyone this week that Donald Trump has been confirmed to be a cat.

Vice President Pence and many of the Trump administration have now openly admitted to knowing that the newly-elected president of the United States was, in fact, a large orange tabby cat operating from within a human suit all along.

The human suit, made from 250lbs of latex to give the president that characteristic and undeniably convincing ‘pudgy old man’ look, became the Tabby-Trump’s downfall as it became unbearably hot moving into the spring/summer months.

Editor: Callum Casey

26

Honestly, the American people just didn’t stand a chance. It’s clear that this tabby cat [whose real name has recently been revealed to be Tibbles McTabbyson] is a true genius. He converted the usual false feline promises of love and affection into jobs, prosperity and some vague concept of greatness, and played us all for fools, just like millions of cat owners out there.”

“Well, I guess I always knew, somehow,” revealed Ted Banks, a Washington D.C. civilian. “That specific tiger-orange tint was a dead giveaway, not to mention the complete lack of knowledge of like… law, current affairs, international relations, history, that kind of stuff.”

Trump’s feline nature has been the perfect explanation for much of his bizarre behaviour. Naturally, the president’s understanding of the word ‘pussy’ was limited, and his suspicious and xenophobic ways match that of many cats across the world. One cat owner, John Wilson, said that the discovery has made him more fond of his country’s president than ever: “He’s just like my little guy at home! Toby- he’s a tabby, like Trump, and I have to say his domestic policy-” he winks at me, “is just like Trump’s too. He won’t let anyone into our house without a scrutinous inspection, and between you and me…” he whispers, “he’s kinda racist too.”

Political science scholars across the world are said to be pleased with the recent news, as they now have an explanation as to how such an incompetent candidate could be elected to one of the most powerful positions in the world, despite there being plenty of more experienced candidates also eligible for the post: “Cats are known for their superhuman powers of manipulation.

It seems the cat is well and truly out of the bag for President Trump, but it seems that his stay in the Oval Office may be of short duration anyway.

It is rumoured that the President is distinctly unhappy with the amount of work to be done, and is also displeased with the severe lack of cardboard boxes and “sunny spots, you know, for napping and such” in the White House. 

Callum Casey, Humour Editor

So this year’s capitalist holiday with your special one didn’t go as romantically as you’d have liked it to? Run out of super likes on Tinder?

Is your Fleshlight not calling you back? Don’t worry, the Express has you covered!

BDSM ON A BUDGET:

Michael D Higgins pledges to build wall around CIT James Beazley, Humour Writer

Early yesterday morning, newly inducted Irish president Michael D Higgins held his first press conference of the new year outside his Dublin residence. Standing on two shoeboxes so as to reach the microphone, he addressed the sea of awaiting reporters; “I have made many pledges during my campaign and I intend to keep them all, my first action as Irish president will be to construct a mighty wall 4 feet high around the CIT campus and all adjoining student accommodations so that no student will be able to come into this country unless they are superhuman giants.”

This move was welcomed by many locals in the surrounding Cork area who have launched frequent complaints about CIT graduates stealing the minimum wage jobs usually reserved for local 16-year olds and philosophy students. Many locals are calling for the parents of students to be sent across the wall with their children with one local stating “the kind of parent who would send their child to CIT should burn in hell, or worse, CIT” The proposed wall is to be constructed along model farm road before the entrance to the local Mount Mercy College whose students the president described as “too far gone” and will end before Ballincollig, encompassing parts of Bishopstown including the bar locally known as ‘The Bish’. When asked for comment the owner of the

bar, Barry Fitzgerald, stated, “at the Bishopstown bar and restaurant we have always prided ourselves on being a local UCC bar and plead for the president to reconsider locking us in with those miscreants”.

A special Garda task force has been commissioned to track down all rogue CIT students living in UCC accommodations or student housing outside of the wall. Students currently living in digs will be exempt from this as they have suffered enough already according to the Garda Commissioner.

In response to questioning on where the money for a project of this magnitude will be sourced the President stated “Don’t worry I’ve started my own YouTube vlogging channel, the ad money will be rolling in any day now, otherwise I’ll just get Mexico to pay for it.”

Unfortunately, not everyone is happy with the president’s proposed plans, a group of UCC students who went on a pilgrimage to the IT last year as part of a charity programme to build wells for CIT students described the people there as ‘misunderstood’ and ‘harmless’. Barry Mulligan, founder of activist group CIT is Only Kind of Shite, has started a hunger strike in protest and has vowed to not eat any chicken rolls until the president terminates the proposed building plans.

Construction will be completed by the county council and is proposed to begin as soon as they are arsed.

As college students, we at The Express know you cannot afford whips, chains, gags etc, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be as creepy as Christian Grey.

Spanking- Who can afford a leather paddle, honestly? And since your boyfriend grew out his moustache, he’s a devout Vegan. A good replacement, however, would be any of your college books! 70 euro, 600 pages, and we know you’re not going to fucking read it! Spank away, just don’t use the Norton Anthology of English or you’ll break his spine.

Dirty talk- While dirty talk is technically free, The Express has tailored our guide on Dirty talk specifically for college students. Tell your partner all sorts of saucy stuff like, “You’re wasting your parents’ money”, “You’ll never get a job you’ll like”, “Just because you only go out on Tuesdays and Thursdays doesn’t mean you’re not a barely functional alcoholic”. If you’re partner is crying by the end of it, curled up in the foetal position and drowning in existential dread all the better, so hot.

Gagging- No need to buy an expensive ballgag to get your partner to shut the fuck up about fidget-spinners and Fortnite, just use whatever you have around the

house! The communal tea towel is a great option, as the mould and threat of Sepsis will only add to the excitement.

ROMANTIC DINNER:

HEADLINES: ENTERTAINMENT: ‘Black’ American History X favourite for best picture winner.

BREAKING: 21 Savage O.B.E, held ransom

by Theresa May until Brexit deal reached.

27

CRIME:

Garda too breathalyser.

drunk

to

use

TECHNOLOGY: Even Mark Zuckerberg is sick of your cringy couples’ posts.

ENTERTAINMENT:

Every man in Ireland with a beard cast as an extra in Vikings.

Potato Pie- Do you want to be in such a bad carb coma that you never wake up? Die together like a fat Romeo and Juliet.

Miguelito- Nothing says “I love you” more than Teargassing your love nest with Guacamole farts. (Boojum, a sponsor of this article, are offering a free “Quesadildo” to any reader who laughs at my shit articles) Speedo’s- I’m no romantic but sharing burnt Aldi garlic bread and fighting off Havana’s rejects sounds like a fairy-tale.

Spoons- 2.75 for a Pint. If your date doesn’t love it, then they’re not the one for you.

ROMANTIC MOVIES:

Horoscopes

brought to you by Sirius Speculation.

Conspiracy Theories on YouTubeShe’s smart, she’s beautiful, she’s kind. But does she think the earth is a sphere? Does she know Jews did 9/11? If you take her home and she doesn’t agree that the US Government is turning the frogs gay then she is a Clintonite, SJW. You dodged a bullet, just like Tupac.

Aries: You’ll be getting rammed someday this week; make sure the

The Ted Bundy Tapes- He’s charming, he’s handsome, but is this boy you’ve been going out with for two years trying to kill you? Don’t take that chance, call the police as soon as you reach home.

Cancer: Your friends are leaving you this week, solely due to the fact

Videos of his Girlfriend- Yeah sure he cried, and called you her name twice…and called her twelve times, but I’m sure he’s just drunk. 

Virgo: Your virginity is growing back … finally. These few hours of

left-over take-away burrito is off the bed.

Taurus: You’ll have the best shit of your life on Thursday. Pity it’ll be coming out the wrong end while you’re having dinner with your supervisor.

Gemini: Christ. that you were caught associating with gremlins from CIT.

Leo: Rimjobs in the forest near the Lee again, I’d say. Make sure the candles forming the pentagram are actually lit this time. chastity are when life will come together again.

Libra: Don’t cross the road near Castlewhite for the remainder of the academic year.

Scorpio: Yes! He finally will spit in your mouth.

Capricorn: Your sign is not a goat for no reason. This week only you’ll be perceived as The GOAT. You will progress up the social ladder, eventually becoming an influencer. Next week is another story.

Aquarius: You sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker - your rag week is extended by one month.

Pisces: In absolute pieces, I’d say. Your indirects on Twitter begging

for someone to come over and hug you while they feed you ice-cream will finally come through. Not going to fix you, though.

Arts & Literature

Editor: Eadaoin Regan

28

29

Care to delve deeper into the historical world of the 15th-16th centuries? Say no more:

In celebration of the release of Josie Rourke’s Mary Queen of Scots (2018), this issue is going to be dedicated to all things historical fiction.

Realistically, I could fill several full University Express issues if I didn’t narrow it down.

So for this issue, given the familial connection with Mary Stuart, I have condensed it down to the various offshoots and key players of the Tudor dynasty. Enjoy!

A Dangerous Inheritance (2012)

by Alison Weir

Though a prominent historian in her field and thus typically a non-fiction writer, Weir’s foray into fiction is brilliant. Detailing the parallel experiences of women across a timespan of eighty years, the tragic consequences of being connected to the Plantegenets is explored in this novel. Definitely worth a gander.

Review: The Last Queen by C.W. Gortner (2006)

Wolf Hall (Trilogy 2009-2019) by Hilary Mantel (9/10)

A fictional account of the years Thomas Cromwell, notorious advisor of King Henry VIII’s, was in office this series has so far proved to be an engrossing portrayal of an elusive man. There is not much historical evidence to be found on Thomas Cromwell and yet Hilary Mantel has brought him to life. An even greater if unexpected achievement, Mantel portrays him as a thoroughly likeable man. Wolf Hall (2009) focuses on the rise of Anne Boleyn while its sequel Bring Up The Bodies (2012) turns its attention to her swift fall. The second book in particular is the most compelling fictional representation of just how quickly the machinations of the Tudor court facilitated a take down on the whims of their king.

The last book of the series, The Mirror and the Light, will be released later this year and will (spoiler alert) document Cromwell’s own downfall. So it’s as good a time as any to get stuck in!

HOT OR NOT The Other Boleyn Girl (2001) by Philippa Gregory (3/10)

The rise and demise of Anne Boleyn, told from her sister Mary’s perspective, is arguably the weakest in Gregory’s Tudor series. Perhaps I am being too harsh. For someone who has never read any Tudor history then this book would be a compelling read and, to her credit, Gregory has a gift in representing the emotions that permeate through history to modern day. She makes Tudor history accessible and relatable. But for someone with any knowledge of the Boleyn family Gregory’s liberties with history are far too distracting. Woeful inaccuracies aside, Gregory’s characterisation of Anne is cruel and unfounded. Though a complicated woman to be sure, with a temper to say the least, there is a determined effort in the book to erase any of her positive attributes or actions. Which would of course be more forgivable if Gregory didn’t expressly state in an interview with the Alliance of Film Women Journalists, “I don’t take liberties”.

‘Juana la Loca’, or Joanna the Mad, is the tragic title left to history of Juana of Castile and Aragon. Queen of the former from 1504 and the latter from 1516, Juana spent the majority of her rule and life imprisoned in a nunnery by her father. And perhaps most tragically, was left to remain there by her son, Holy Roman Emperor Charles I. While her story has not been much popularised in modern culture, the story of her sister Catherine of Aragon, first wife of King Henry VIII of England, has been portrayed repeatedly in the last four hundred years. In a valiant attempt to correct this, C.W. Gortner’s novel traces Juana’s life from a young girl in the heavenly though foreboding court of her parents and culminates with her imprisonment. It unravels the cruel ways in which Juana is betrayed by all those in which she places her trust, particularly her beloved husband, Philip of Hapsburg, and father, Ferdinand of Aragon.

Despite being a thoroughly rageinducing novel for any person who has a shred of empathy, the true appeal of this story is Gortner’s ability to provide plausible motivations behind the ‘mad’ actions of Juana. One need only look to the many lists provided by the internet which detail the lives of mad monarchs to find plenty of evidence which proves her mental

instability. The most prevalent charge against her of course is that which details Juana kissing her dead husband’s corpse. But Gortner scatters these pervasive accusations throughout the text and provides clever alternative explanations for the mad façade he claims Joanna created. In this respect, Gortner is a shining example of the right way in which to merge history with fiction.

Plot aside, the descriptions of Moorish Castile and Aragon, before they later merged to become modern day Spain, are truly magical and are darkly contrasted with the Tudor and Hapsburg courts. His creation of the infamous characters of Ferdinand and Isabella, known best perhaps for their funding of Christopher Columbus’ voyage to America, is engrossing and his depiction of the reality of their marriage is genius.

His storytelling has the ability to grip the reader, making them hope that despite the historical records a happier ending is within reach. His characterisation of Juana lifts from the pages and only reinforces the belief of the reader that it is in fact Juana’s own words we are reading.

That we truly are reading the legacy which “I spent most of my days and endless nights writing… recording the events that had led me to this hour”. 

The Cousin’s War (Series 2009-2012) by Philippa Gregory

Absolutely redeeming herself, Gregory details the experiences of the royal dynasty from Henry VIII’s grandparents onwards. This is truly a fantastic series and I can’t recommend it enough. Each novel details the same story from a different woman’s perspective allowing for plenty of secrets previously hidden to take turns emerging. There is also an excellent TV series adaptation called The White Queen starring Rebecca Ferguson and the always god-like Max Irons. (Son of Jeremy Irons and Sinead Cusack but more importantly, God willing, my future husband).

Wars of the Roses (Trilogy 2013-2016) by Conn Iggulden

For those who find the female-led historical fiction semi-trying or too catered towards the chic-lit audience (sometimes a fair criticism but more often? not) then this is the series for you. It also focuses on the fight for the crown in the Cousin’s War but is primarily concerned with detailing the politics and battles themselves.

SEXPRESS

Low Sex Drive? Anonymous You’d swear based on everything in popular culture that sex is all anyone thinks about, and it’s inherently wanted and understood by everyone 24/7. People start having sex in their teens; we’re encouraged to think about dating from the ages of eleven upwards. Some people get the idea that most people want tons of sex.

Women are taught that men always want sex and will never turn it down; men are taught that something’s wrong with them if they’re not horny enough. It’s an insidious idea that worms its way into all of us: sex is the be-all, end-all.

There are lots of people who don’t feel that way. Nobody’s going to puff up their chest and admit in front of the lads that they’ve got a low-to-medium sex drive, but lots of people do. “You’ll just know” or “You’ll know when you meet the right person” are not universal.

Some people are asexual and will never want to have sex. They know they don’t want to have sex and get no pleasure from trying or thinking about it. That’s a totally valid way to be; many people have happy and healthy relationships without sex, believe it or not. This article, however, is not for those people.

This is for people who do want to have sex, yet find themselves with a low, weird, or puzzling sex drive.

Some people don’t get sexually attracted to people until they’re in a relationship, very rarely feel sexual attraction, or just have trauma or anxiety that stops them from fully embracing their urges. Some people masturbate and enjoy sex, but don’t mind who it’s with, if anyone. Some people happen to have low sex drives. Some people are just really nervous! Certain circles call these people grey-asexuals, with brackets

like demisexual; it might comfort you to look into those labels, and it might not. Either way, know that if you fall into that category, you are not alone. To those of you out there wondering how your sex life will work out without a ‘normal’ desire for ‘normal’ sex, have no fear!

Here’s six tips for having weird sex, less sex, no sex, or learning to enjoy sex.

1. There’s nothing wrong with you. There is no such thing as a

“normal” sex life, or a “normal” relationship. There are as many different sex drives as there are people in the world, and you can’t make assumptions about what’s “normal”. Your sex drive is yours, it’s unique, and it’s completely fine.

You can work on your insecurities about it, or explore it, or learn what does and doesn’t work. You can even see a doctor if it’s causing you unhappiness and your mind craves more sex than your body does. You should seek help if you have a lot of fear or anxiety, but you do want sex eventually. But, at the end of the day, your best version of you has a sex drive and there’s nothing wrong with it. No matter how much or how little you want intimacy, it’s normal.

Your sex drive is not a problem that needs fixing. Get that into your head. As long as you can live your life, respect people, find happiness, and find someone who wants what you have, don’t worry about it. If anyone ever makes you feel deficient or like a freak for having a different experience with sex than them, go ahead and bump that person’s ass out of your life and look for someone who respects you.

2. Go slowly. Your first kiss doesn’t

have to be in a romantic moment,

Editor: Rian Browne O’Neill spontaneous and yet simultaneously decided unanimously, and you both kiss and it’s amazing and nobody says anything. You don’t have to cuddle for exactly one month, then instigate sex. You can ask before you do anything. If intimacy is a lot for you to handle, then take it slow. If the idea of seeing your partner naked makes you nervous, let alone doing the nasty with them, then get naked together and go no further. If you’re not sure about being touched down there, guide your partner through it without going all the way. Heck, if you’re nervous about kissing then mention it and go through the process slowly. Your comfort comes first, and the romantic-ness and spark of the moment comes second.

Don’t ‘bite the bullet’ when it comes to your own body. You’re trying to experience closeness and love with another person, not rip off a plaster.

You can work your way up to these things. You don’t have to understand or be okay with everything immediately. There is no worse feeling than going further than you meant to go, or realising that you’re overwhelmed. Everyone, including people with high sex drives, can be overwhelmed by moving too fast and getting too intimate. Take care of yourself and feel no pressure.

3. It’s not a big deal.

There are people who get into healthy relationships without sex. There are people who get into healthy relationships with very little sex.

There are healthy relationships with tons of sex, weird sex, and healthy relationships with sex but not with each other. Some people don’t enjoy penetrative sex, don’t masturbate, don’t fantasize about having sex with their partner (but enjoy doing it in person), don’t watch porn, only watch porn… There’s no wrong way to have a sex life, as long as both of you are happy. If you don’t want a typical sex life, you can be perfectly happy with it, and so can your partner! Don’t give up hope on finding anyone who will accept you and finding someone who is satisfied by you. Don’t settle for anybody who expects more from you than you can give. You can be happy, and so can your partner. If someone tells you that you’re enough for them, believe them.

4. It is a big deal.

Contradictory, right? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not craving sex, having a different experience of attraction, or even just being anxious or having baggage around intimacy.

However: there is nothing wrong with your partner having a high sex drive, either. To many, sex is an essential part of a relationship (if not an essential part of life). That’s

30

completely natural. There’s nothing perverse or greedy about it, and, indeed, it’s not something that can be changed or controlled. Just because you’re happy with a certain amount of intimacy doesn’t mean it’s wrong if someone else isn’t. Understand that sexual satisfaction is important, meaningful, and essential to your partner; ensuring that they feel looked after and accounted for is important. If your partner doesn’t want an open relationship, isn’t satisfied with masturbation or foreplay alone and feels unsatisfied by how much sex you have, then you need to accept that as a sad, blameless incompatibility. On that note, here’s the most important thing for you to remember…

5. Communicate. Life is not like in

the movies. Talking during sex is not a turn-off, talking about sex when you’re not having sex is essential, and honesty is key. This is advice for everyone. If you don’t know what you can do better, ask. If you don’t know if your partner is satisfied, ask.

If you can’t find the clit, y’know... that’s a fixable problem. If you can’t take an honest, hard-to-hear answer, then you should work on yourself; if your partner can’t give you honest hard-to-say answers then go date a real adult. If you have concerns about your compatibility and about your sex life, then the first and most important step to addressing them is to say them to the person involved.

Discuss solutions, establish boundaries. Don’t judge and don’t let someone judge you. Ask: “Are you satisfied?” “Is this good?”

“What can I do better?”

6. Compromise.

You absolutely cannot and should not allow yourself to be pushed beyond your boundaries. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with and don’t do anything more often than you feel like it. However: You have to make sure your partner’s needs are accounted for. I can’t tell you what those needs are, but they can.

You can’t expect them to just lower their expectations and stay that way if that’s not something they’re happy with. Getting involved in kinks, dirty talk, porn, or masturbation without participating physically is doable.

Opening up your relationship is absolutely fine as long as you both are absolutely sure what the boundaries are. Even if all your partner needs is the emotional reassurance that they’re attractive and desirable, you have to talk about that and decide how they’ll get it.

Negotiate, ask for what you want, give what you’re asked for (if you can). There are solutions. You just have to figure them out together!

You can do it. 

30

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Student

NOW OPEN TIL 4AM

SPECIAL

14” LARGE CHEESE PIZZA + 3 TOPPINGS

€10

33

Yvonne Ní Chonchubhair:

Cailín ó na portaigh go laoch na filíochta Antóin Ó Trinlúin, Scríbhneoir Gaeilge

T

á Yvonne ina haonar sa tigh anois, agus tá sé deacair a chreidiúnt go mbíodh aon duine dhéag suite sa tseomra seo chuile oíche, tráth.

“Tháinig mé ar an bpictiúr so le déanaí,’’ arsa Yvonne, agus an grianghraf ina lámha aici. Tá sí le feisicint ann, í sé bliana d’aois, i ngúna galánta.

A Céad Chomaoineach a bhí ann.

‘Bhí gliondar ar chách an lán san,’’ a deir sí. “Tháinig comharsa, a bhí tar éis tréimhse a chaitheamh i NuaEabhrac, chun mo ghrianghraf a ghlacadh lena ceamara; an t-aon cheann sa bhaile! Seoladh mé chuig teach na gcomharsan ionas go mbeidís in ann súil a chaitheamh ar mo chuid ‘stíle’’’.

“Antics péacóga a bhí ar siúl agam an lá san, i ndáiríre, ach bhíos ar bís le mo bhróga nua, agus iad ag glioscarnach fén ngrian. Táim fós ar buile nach féidir iad a fheiscint sa phictiúr san!’’ a deir sí, agus í sna trithí ag gáire.

D’fhás Yvonne aníos i gCluain Leisc, Suí an Róin, Contae Uíbh Fháilí, agus cuimhníonn sí go maith an saol a bhí aici ann.

“Chaitheadh m’uncail cóip den Independent isteach sa ghairdín gach maidin ón traein; an chéad chóip sa

bhaile. Bhailíodh na comharsan go léir inár dteach chun nuacht an lae a fheiscint- is cuimhin liom scéalta fé de Valera sa Dáil.’’

“A new tune took flight, out the window, into the bleak bog night…’’

Sliocht as dán de chuid Yvonne Tháinig Yvonne go Corcaigh i ndiaidh an chogaidh. Bhuail sí lena fear chéile i bpáirc spraoi i dTiobraid Árann agus í ceithre bliana déag d’aois. Phósadar i gCorcaigh agus bhí naonúr clainne acu.

“Bhí muintir na tuath an-mhaith dom i gcónaí,’’ arsa Yvonne. “Thagaidís ar cuairt le húlla agus málaí móna ón bportach dom. Tá a lán dóibh tar éis bás a fháil, áfach, agus braithim uaim go mór iad.’’

Tá Yvonne dóchasach fé thodhchaí na teanga. “Ní hamháin go bhfuil sí beo- tá sí ag fás. Tá níos mó suime sa teanga anois ná mar a bhí riamh i mo shaol. Tá grá ag daoine dá teanga dhúchasach.’’

Níor thosnaigh Yvonne ag scríobh nó ag péintéireacht go dtí go raibh sí ina daichidí. “B’iad Yvonne agus Conchubhair an bheirt dheireanach a bhí agam, agus ba chúpla iad,’’ arsa Ní Chonchubhair.

“Sin as ar tháinig an t-ainm cleite atá agam. Nuair a shiúladar amach an doras ar a gcéad lá scoile, fuaireas an clóscríobhán, agus thosnaíos ag

Frásaí na Seachtaine: An tEarrach Bláth – Blossom Scáth Báistí – Umbrella Plúirín Sneachta – Snowdrop T&C: *UP to 3 toppings. please mention offer when ordering. only valid with student id. not vaild with any other offer. valid for a limited time only and at participating stores.

Gaeilge

Lus Chromchinn – Daffodil Eascróg – Sprout Locháinín – Puddle Scalltán – Chick Tiúilip – Tulip Ag leá – Melting Cáisc – Easter

scríobh don chéad uair.’’

Nuacht i dTigh Uí Chonchubhair.

Bhuaigh Yvonne an oiread sin duaiseanna le linn a saoil nach bhféadfaí iad go léir a lua, ach ina measc bhí 13 bronnaire ón ICA, mar shampla cinn don iriseoireacht, don fhilíocht agus dá staidéar ar an nádúr.

“Cén phleananna atá ag Yvonne Ní Chonchubhair anois?’’ arsa mise.

“Rachaidh mé aon áit gur féidir liom i mo chathaoir rotha!’’ a fhreagraíonn sí, a haghaidh lonraithe ag an ngrian íseal.

“Bhí an nádúr i gcónaí le feiscint i mo chuid scríbhneoireachta. Ag fás aníos fén tuath bhínn ag piocadh sútha talún, agus ag súgradh sna goirt ó cheann ceann an lae. Tá áit lárnach ag an nádúr i m’anam agus i m’ealaín’’

“Chuas chuig Féile an tSnagcheoil le déanaí agus bhí sé sin ar fheabhas.

Tá go leor ionspráide agam fós do mo chuid scríbhneoireachta. Agus tá clann ollmhór, iontach agam. Táim chomh bródúil astu.’’

“Bímse i gcónaí i mbun léitheoireachta. Is aoibhinn liom a leithéid de Shakespeare, Kavanagh agus Keats- agus foghlaimím focail nua uatha i gcónaí!’’

Tá luí na gréine ag lonrú an tseomra anois, agus tá sé beag nach in am don

“Aon teachtaireacht dos léitheoirí?” arsa mé féin.

na

Casann sí agus féachann sí díreach isteach i mo shúile; “The least said is the easiest mended. Fan ar thaobh an tsíocháin i gcónaí.’’

34

Photos

Photo Credits: Relay fir life; Aishwarya Khare

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Photo Credits: Left Column: Eve Harringron, Right Column: Célem Deegan

Photos

35

36

Sports

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express FAI and broadcasting services.

FAIncompetence Cian McGrath, Gaming Editor "... you want me to compete with the best in the World, I've got to have the f*****g best in the world. And it's not here in Ireland that I can find it, I've got to go to England to find it, or Scotland to find the quality that will make you a team that will compete with the best in the world. Now, if you don't want to do that, tell me, and I'll f*****g concentrate on the League of Ireland and we'll win nothing.”.

In 1986, Jack Charleston had recognised that the standard of the League of Ireland was not there to represent Ireland on the World Stage. Instead he relied on the ‘Granny Rule’, that being anyone

whose parent or grandparent is an Irish citizen is entitled to play for Ireland. Ireland has used this rule to great effect since 1965 in football and it is becoming more prevalent recently in rugby. The difference between the situation rugby, is that the administration which oversees the Irish league, does so with such negligence and lack of care that there is no opportunity for this to change and instead it has become over-reliance.

The Irish league has, more recently, seen much greater exposure due, in no small part, to the European campaigns of Shamrock Rovers in 2011 and Dundalk in 2017. These campaigns were highlighted and

praised by fans and journalists alike, and it was hoped that the prize money that both received would usher in a new dawn of success in the Domestic Game.

What has instead happened is a return to the norm. Irish clubs battle for the European places in hope of scrambling through European qualification and the prize money in order to take that next step, but many see the risk of speculating finances and going over budget in these pursuits as a bridge too far. Cork City, for example are a hugely successful club, and a fantastic piece on their recent history was included in this paper not so long ago. Cork City are unable to run the risk of over-investment in pursuit of the European glory, due to the underinvestment in the league from the

A piece published in the Irish Independent in 2011 reported that the League of Ireland prize money was slashed from €700k to €546k, and a more recent piece from the42.ie broke down what it claims is €475k of prize money.

This breakdown is explained as €371k going to the Premier League sides and the remainder going to the First Division. The winner of the Irish Premier League receives a meagre €110k and a sliding scale ensues with the bottom side receiving €17k. This prize money is absolutely ridiculous and to expect a professional football club to make do with this is crazy. These figures stand out as particularly shocking in comparison with the prize money from other leagues.

In the Scottish Premier Division, the winners receive £3 million and the relegated club receive £990k, when adjusted to euro, that is over 10 times what the winner of the Irish league receives. In 2016, the Icelandic FA gave their clubs ¼ of their Euro 2016 prize money, totalling €1.5 million.

In comparison, the FAI gave the League of Ireland clubs just €100k.

When I asked Cork City midfielder, Gearoid Morrissey about the issues surrounding television coverage of the league, he was unequivocal in his message, “it’s a domino effect, it needs to start from the ground up, back the league and the potential that’s there. Market it properly and give it what it is worth.”

These stark comparisons with other countries are embarrassing to say the least, but when compared to the salaries that the FAI pays, it is outright disgraceful. John Delaney, the FAI CEO, reportedly takes home a yearly salary of €360k.

This salary is almost as much as is given to the entire League of Ireland as prize money. This comes in a time when clubs such as Cork City, have gone out of business due to financial troubles, and Bray Wanderers are struggling to pay their players wages. While in charge of Ireland, Martin O’Neill

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express was paid a salary of €1 million, nearly 4 times the amount of Chris Coleman, who took Wales to the semi-finals of Euro 2016, and twice that of current Wales manager Ryan Giggs. O’Neill’s salary, reportedly, was later doubled to €2 million p/a.

Roy Keane’s salary while assisting O’Neill is less reported but has been speculated to be anywhere from €500k-€700k, still far more than the Welsh Manager, and more than 13 of the managers at Euro 2016.

I am not suggesting that this is not fair remuneration for someone of O’Neill’s calibre and he would be a fool to go into a negotiating room and not seek the best deal for himself, but the issue at hand is why the FAI are so willing to pay such high wages. As can be seen by the cases of Michael O’Neill (Northern Ireland) and Chris Coleman, (Wales) there is no need for the gargantuan salaries in order to achieve success, but if the FAI are willing to pay it, there will be people who are willing to take it.

Mick McCarthy recently agreed a €1.2 million-euro deal as Ireland manager, and it leaves us with the question of, why not Stephen Kenny now? It could be assumed that he would have demanded lesser pay, and he has already stated his intentions to use players from the League as a part of his u-21 team.

When asked about opportunities for League of Ireland players, Morrissey was unequivocal in his stance, “Its worse when you see lads getting on the magic plane.

They’re over there [in England] a week and they’re in the Irish squad. Powerhouses of the sport all back their leagues and they take players from their league…

It’s no coincidence.”. Cork City captain, Connor McCormack said that “it’s heartbreaking, you look it up and a third of the squad have played in the League of Ireland at some stage… the players haven’t changed massively, but they are better players in a better team. I don’t understand why the

governing body and the manager [O’Neill at the time] overlook the league sometimes. There’s so much talent in the league, there’s no reason why the players shouldn’t be given a chance.”

Some may argue that the league is too far below the standard needed to supply the Irish National Team with players, and that there is no point in even trying to improve it. This could not be further from the truth. With enough, but not a ridiculous, investment, the Irish league sides could become regulars in European Group Stages. Without this investment, two sides have done it already. If League of Ireland sides were put in a position where they could regularly compete for European group stage places,

Sports stages, crunch time games, then you’re getting that stamp.”

are certainly present at numerous clubs.

Cork City, for example, have sought other means of providing opportunities for young players, through their link with UCC, Morrissey, speaking before the FAI Cup Final was full of praise for the link, “Something like that should have been in place a long, long time ago. It should always coexist… At the end of the day the players are trying to have a career in sport but… you need to get your education.”. I asked Alan Bennett about his experience in going over to England, at a slightly older age, having spent time in the League of Ireland, “If I was 16/17, it could broke a fella, and it has broken a fella, where I was 23/24, hardened

In West Cork, for example, many clubs use old GAA grounds, with old shipping containers as changing rooms, or some of the better facilities use porta-cabins.

Games are frequently called off due to the state of pitches in West Cork, but despite all of these issues, the soccer club still has the largest membership of any club in my home town, especially at under age. The FAI have created a world where everyone wants to play soccer and even when the facilities aren’t there it is played.

The attitude pangs of ‘fend for yourselves’ and it is no wonder that the draw from other sports is so appealing in rural areas, especially in the West.

“With enough, but not a ridiculous, investment, the Irish league sides could become regulars in European Group Stages. Without this investment, two sides have done it already.” then the standard of the league could increase exponentially, and teams could attract a higher standard of player to the league.

Ireland appears to be so far behind domestic leagues such as Bulgaria, Romania and Denmark, even though the step it would take to get there would not be overly significant. Cork City legend Alan Bennett thinks that it is this which will take the League to the next level, and lead to an increase in reputation and opportunity, “I think its been shown through Maguire, and Horgan at Dundalk, that we can produce players, its slightly unfortunate that they need to go…

You need a stamp, historically an English club willing to invest in you, now I think it will be very strong European campaigns… where you’re reaching group

37

and understood it a bit more, it was an important lesson.”.

It is not just under investment in the League system that is prevalent.

Rural areas of Ireland receive little to no attention or investment, despite the fact that the talent is no doubt there. What is expected of these players is that they will instead travel to more built up areas so that they will be scouted, rather than scouts coming to see these players. While this is not a wholly foreign concept, and it is understandable that this is the case, what is rather unique in Ireland’s case is the draw of other sports. In many rural areas, especially in the West of Ireland, the draw of Gaelic Football is huge, but this is also due to the state-of-the-art facilities that, may not be at every club, but

At the recent FAI cup final, and the last set of National Team fixtures, anti-John Delaney banners have been unfurled, only to be taken away by stewards who have been instructed to do so. The stewards have not been so easily able to quell the anti-FAI and Delaney songs which ring out across the Aviva. This is a man who has placed himself atop a pedestal but, refusing to be questioned. Why do we know his name, why has he made himself out to be such a public figure? Former Ireland manager Brian Kerr, in a recent interview said, “The spotlight should be on the FAI board & leader into their decision making over the last two years, which I feel has been a disaster”. The issues of the last few months, since the Denmark game, are not new, instead they have simply been brought to the fore. Lack of investment in the rural and domestic game is what is at the heart of these frustrations and issues, and they do not look to be changing any time soon. The FAI seem more-keen to sell out the Aviva than they are to improve the National Game. Recent proposals from Niall Quinn and Brian Kerr could appear to be moving things in the right direction, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

Sports

38

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019 | University Express

Sports

Charity Number: CHY4483A

Hiring!

We’re

Applications for the editorial team of the UCC express are now open for the 2019/2020 academic year.

Editor-in-Chief*

Gaming Editor

Designer*

Music Editor

News Editor*

Opinions Editor

Byline Editor*

Humour Editor

Sports Editor

Film & TV Editor

Features Editor

Fashion Editor

Photographer

Fiction Editor

Online Editor

Sexpress Editor

Arts & Literature

Irish Editor

If you are interested in applying for any of the above positions, send your CV to apply@uccexpress.ie Applications for Editor-in-Chief due by March 15th, and all other positions by April 5th * Indicates paid position

TS SPORY A D

NO UNIFORM DAY

E

L BAKE SA

CYCLE CHALLENGE

URE TREAS

HUNT

RUN WALK OR

CHRISTMAS JUMPER DAY DECEMBER 2018

MENT

AIR

Which event are you most looking forward to this year?

G EVEN

T

I’m looking forward to a lot this year as I’m entering a few BDO events through the year, but its got to be the World Cup. It’s what I’ve been working for the whole year and looking forward to it.

IMB

IN CL MOUNTA

GOLF TOURNA

YH CRAZDAY CK

DU E RAC

COFFEE MORNING

DEBATIN

EGG HUNT

BBQ

QUIZ DAY

TEA PARTY

BOOK SALE

ED FAST

SPONSOR

What has been the highlight of your career so far?

DRESS UP

ILE SWIM ASM MILE WITH A

DANCE-A-THON

RAISE THE GA M E

An Interview with Niall Culleton Jack Maguire, Sports Writer

for CMRF Crumlin!

Have fun, raise funds!

Above are some fundraising ideas, but if you have other great ideas, call Sinead Nolan on 01 709 1700 or email snolan@cmrf.org

39

There are lots of fun, creative and challenging ways that you and your class mates can raise urgently needed funds that will benefit sick children. Money that will be used to buy life-saving equipment, refurbish our hospital wards, and fund vital research.

11:20

2018 was a fantastic year for Niall Culleton. After a brilliant year in darts, Niall became the Number 1 player in Ireland. Darts has grown exponentially in Ireland and is now a highly contested sport in the country. It takes dedication and years of practice, and Niall is a very dedicated player and the long hours he puts in on the practice board pay off. I caught up with Niall Culleton recently to discuss his experiences and what the future holds for him.

When/ at what age did you first encounter darts?

When I was about 12, I used to go down to the pub with my uncle and my father and just play the odd game. I used to have a board in my room at home but never did anything else with darts. Rugby took over with me and I made the Leinster under 18 team. I didn’t have much time for anything else but three years ago when my uncle was in ICU in the Mater Hospital, I used to call up to my father and have a few throws with him and I got the feeling back for playing again.

Can you remember your very first set of darts?

My very first set of darts was bought in Lifestyle in Carlow. They were 16gram brass barrels with red plastic

flight/shaft combo. They were slim for a brass dart, but I used to throw ok with them. I still have them.

Will you be competing in Q-School this year?

Q-school is out for me this year as much as I am more ready for it this year than last year. I have qualified for the 6 Nations and World Cup for Ireland for the first time and it means everything to me to play for my country at a World Cup. If a PDC tour card was got in January, I wouldn’t be able to play in those events for my country.

Which is your favourite darts venue to play in and why?

I loved throwing in Wigan for Q-School and Bridlington for the World Masters. It brings your level of darts up so much since there’s so many good players around you, it’s a good atmosphere to be in.

How do you prepare for the big competitions?

Preparation for me can be different depending on how much darts is on in the week. Some weeks I could be throwing on a Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Other weeks could only be on Tuesday and nothing for a week. When there’s a lot of darts together I don’t practice much but if its coming up to a ranking event, most nights I’d get

on the practice board for maybe two hours and work on finishing or do 101 double in just to keep loose around the board.

How does it feel to be the Number 1 player in Ireland?

Becoming the Irish number 1 meant everything to me. I had a goal in the year to make the World Cup team for Romania and that was in my head at every event. I have made a lot of friends in darts. Having spoken and taken advice from them on the game and giving me self-belief in my own game and what I can achieve.

If you were to attend Q-School this year, would you be confident of winning a tour card?

I would have felt confident that I was coming home with a tour card if I had to go this year.

This year you will represent Ireland in the World Cup and Six Nations.

This is an incredible achievement, how are you feeling about these big competitions?

Making the Irish team for the Six Nations and World Cup is a great achievement and I’m getting to visit Holland and Romania as well.

Getting to see other countries while doing something you love is great and hopefully, I can represent my country to the best that I can and do it proud.

I’ve had a few this year. Start of the year just missing out on a tour card, then I got to play in the UK Open qualifiers and since that’s an open draw, you have all the top professionals there trying to qualify as well. I was able to meet and talk to a lot of people I look up to in darts, it was a great experience.

What darts equipment are you currently using?

Currently I am sponsored by a great company called Cuesoul. They are a great company and have a lot of great products on the market. When the sponsorship was being finalised, they also said they would custom make my own darts, so I gave a few ideas of what I wanted in a dart and they blew me away with the dart they made me. I’m throwing so much better with these than my old pixel Mardle’s that I used which were great at the time. The dart is a 24gram 50mm barrel and I use Cuesoul tero setup flights and shafts. Look up Cuesoul online to see the flight I use. They’re hard to explain but they have a spring in the shaft, so the flight retracts at the top to help deflections and they work great for me.

Is there any particular practice game that you find beneficial?

When at competition, I love doing finishing. It gets me focussed and dials me on and from that I know how I’m throwing.

Who was your darting idol growing up?

The legend that is Phil Taylor. He is the reason I stack my dart and use slim flights. I wanted to replicate him and for a time, I used to grip the dart exactly the same as him. I just loved the way he played the game and was in awe of what he could do on the dart board.

University

Volume 22 | Issue Eight | Tuesday 19th February 2019

Sports

UCCExpress.ie

Image via. gaa.ie

UCC Strike Late to keep Fitzgibbon Dream Alive Declan Gleeson, Sports Editor

U

CC left it until the 11th hour to save their Fitzgibbon Cup campaign as they overcame DCU in a dramatic extra-time semi-final last week at WIT. Chris O’Leary was the hero, netting an 82nd minute penalty to fire UCC to their first Fitzgibbon final appearance in 6 years. The Valley Rovers defender struck 1-5 in total as his late effort snuck under DCU goalkeeper Oisin Foley to snatch victory for Tom Kingston’s men. In the most intense game of the tournament so far, the penalty was given in controversial circumstances, and to the dismay of the Dublin side, they were denied

a very late penalty of their own as their star player James Bergin, who’s personal tally ended with 10 points, saw his appeal waved away.

In contrast to their games so far this season, UCC started the slower of the sides and worked their way into the match, eventually taking a 1-8 to 10 points lead into halftime. The goal coming from Cork senior player Shane Kingston as he continued to show fantastic form. The sides were level on nine occasions throughout the game, with DCU utilizing their possession to assume early control.

But Kingston, O’Leary and Shane Conway were all crucial in UCC turning the tide. In the second half,

DCU led by 2 points with 13 minutes to play, before Conway stuck from a superb piece of solo play followed by a free. He then set up Kingston to take the lead with only 5 minutes remaining. DCU’s Bergin brought the game to extra-time with a last minute free.

When play resumed, Conway continued to keep the Leesiders in with a chance, but before long DCU had built up a 2 point lead once again. In added time, Eoghan O’Donnell ran over UCC substitute Sean Hayes to set up O’Leary’s moment of glory. UCC will be fancied by many to take the cup having shown consistent ability

this year and boast a strong squad of several senior county players in Kingston, Mark Coleman and Darragh Fitzgibbon. UCC will be facing Mary Immaculate College in the final following their 1-18 to 18 points victory in the other semi over UCC’s rivals in the group stages, NUIG. 2016 and 2017 champions Mary I are bidding to keep the local dreams alive of a 5th successive title in Limerick and will be relying heavily on star Aaron Gillane and Corkman Luke Meade. The final takes place on Saturday 23rd of February in WIT’s sports campus.

Throw-in is at 14:45.