CANTA, Issue #07 2018 by UCSA

SAM CUTLER

CANTA Q&A with

MAY 21ST MĀTAHI-Ā-TE-TAU RUA TEKAU MĀ TAHI

UCSA BUILDING

THE NEW UCSA BUILDING HAS WALLS! Look at those walls! How sexy are those? 1929 and 1964 are both significant years. They are years in which Canterbury students got to witness This my peeps. their own UCSA buildings open. Luckily for all of us we can signifies add 2019 toprogress, that list. Like much of As you can see in my expertly taken Christchurch, it’s taken a while, but construction of a new UCSA Building has started! Students have always been the focus of this building and here are just some of the highlights of new building: photo, featuring my finger, there’s actually something going on at the ▶ The building is going to have tons of space to study, there’ll be seats, tables, charging building site! If you look closely, you stations, couches, a heat and eat area… you think of it, it’ll be there. It’s a building for can even see people working on the students to do student-y things in! Simple. site. ▶ The new building will pretty much be a one-stop shop for hiring andconstruction will have If you walkequipment past the heaps of bookable spaces. Which is pretty handysite considering is on the you’ll Kirkwood realise Village just how tallway those out, and it’ll cut back on long email chains just to get that one BBQ you want. walls are, and quite how massive this building toabe. ▶ Event spaces and the Foundry will be separate. Why you ask?isSogoing you have reliable area The scale you can retreat to after a long day, where you can without fail of getthis a biteconstruction to eat and a niceis drink without it being unexpectedly closed for a club event. sign that lots of millions a good of dollars are being spent on this Here’s my finger pointing at the building. But for now look out for donation boxes in all our cafes and food stops and when you’ve got those building. spare coins floating around chuck em’ our way. Every little bit goes a long way to ensure we’ve all What you can actually see in the photo is the shell of the new Ngaio Marsh got a great building exclusively for us. Theatre, which doubles as a centre for performing and a massive rave cave. Beside the theatre is going to be a hireable function centre/bar, and then beside that is going to be the new Foundry… Aaaaad then on the floor above that, there is going to be student hangout spaces, and a kitchen space, and a – basically there’s just heaps of stuff going in this building. Really the whole point of me pointing out this progress is to get you guys, the students, fizzing for this building. Because basically this building is for you guys, it’s designed purposely as a centre for studying and socialising. It’s cool enough that I’m looking for an excuse to stay at Uni for another year. Look out for little UCSA promos in the next couple of weeks as we take any excuse to celebrate this building and get everyone hyped for it! Also, if you know any really generous wealthy people who would like to give away some of their money, this building would appreciate it

UCSA INITIATIVES COMING UP:

DUMPLINGS ON DOVEDALE

xoxo Liam Donnelly

TUE 22ND 11:30am onwards

OUTSIDE THE COLLECTIVE CAFE UCSA.ORG.NZ

DEALS

in this issue 06

BEN APPETIT: ANCESTRAL

TECHNOLOGY ADDICTION: TIME FOR A DEVICE DIET?

CANTA INTERVIEWS SAM CUTLER

WELLNESS WATCH: SELF LOVE AND STAYING WELL

SOLO: FIVE FAN THEORIES

Editor’s note We’re coming to the end of Music & Arts in May and we’re gearing up for rock royalty to grace our campus. Sam Cutler ‘toured with bands you never will’ and is here for an exclusive screening of the landmark documentary ‘Gimme Shelter’. The documentary, about the ill-fated Altamont Free Concert where The Rolling Stones performed in 1969, will be followed by an audience Q&A with Mr Cutler.  In Issue Seven of CANTA, we’ve got Abby talking about self love in Wellness Watch, as well as Liam’s musings on an addiction to technology. Ben reviews Ancestral and Fisi has 5 theories on Solo: A Star Wars Story. 40 fanny-tastic pages of stuff for you to digest. Like, don’t actually eat it though. – JOSHUA

T h i s i s s u e ’s c o n t r i b u t o r s Nathan James

Max Farra

Abby Robertson

Lewis Hoban

Ben O’Connell

Selina Hager

Liam Donnelly

Spanky Moore

Fisi-Belle Carrasco

Matt Harvey

LETTER OF THE WEEK

Letters to the Editor DEAR SLIM, I WROTE YOU BUT STILL AIN’T CALLIN’ Dear Canta, I’m here to voice a complaint against one Lewis Hoban and his frankly offensive misunderstanding of the current state of hip hop. In his section titled “A Few Notes “Total Hipster Trash, Am I Right?” he praised the most recent album drop by Flatbush Zombies. Now, I ain’t here to argue about his praise. I agree they dropped a fire album, and his compliments are valid. My complaint comes from his first few sentences; most notable, the quote “it’s reassuring that there are patrons of actual factual East Coast hip hop” which came after he made comments about the “same same” landscape of modern hip hop. I’m here to say he is wrong, dumb, and a little cry baby who doesn’t listen to enough hip hop outside of what’s recommended on his Spotify round up. Hip Hop is better than it’s ever been, we finally have strong females rappers in the game. Nicki has been dropping fire for years, Cardi B has risen quick, Noname’s last album was straight bars. There is a strong underground scene with ‘Art rappers’ gaining more and more success. From Open Mike Eagles latest bob to Milo and Scallops hotel spitting gold since 2011. Even more underground “sad boy” rap from Suicide Boys,  Pouya, Danger Incorporated has been gaining more and more traction. Not only that but mainstream rap ain’t even bad. Cry all you want about all the Lil’s and A$AP’s but don’t tell me yo ass don’t go buckwild when Gucci

Gang plays cause we all know it slaps. That’s all it’s meant to do it’s not trying to be “woke” it’s trying make you get hype and damn it, it works. Not only that but Kendrick, A$AP Rocky, Jay-Z, Childish Gambino, Isaiah Rashad, Earl Sweatshirt, Tyler the Creator, and so many more are all producing quality thoughtful music presently and it’s your own fault if you ain’t listen to it. I could go on and on about all the good rappers right now, and fuck… there are probably thousands I ain’t even listened to yet, but my point is this; You can compliment an album without trashing on a genre you seemingly know little about and it makes you seem misinformed and stupid when you do so. Like what you like, but don’t make an ass of yourself by jumping on the “wah wah mumble rap is bad and I only want real rap” bandwagon cause that mentality is wack. Eat your words Lewis Hoban, rap is popping right now.   - Yours sincerely a white dude who really doesn’t have a place in this argument but hates seeing wack ass people dissing a beautiful genre of music.  Good points raised. CANTA is full of opinions. It’s a student magazine. We’ll gladly print yours. HERE’S MY UNWANTED OPINION ON MUSIC! I love Yung Gravy. I also love John Mayer. I also love Chance. Spooky Black. Ariana Grande’s Into You is easily top five pop royalty. I also love Evanescence when I’ve drunken Scrumpy. Maybe we shouldn’t take it

all too seriously? It’s music. It’s for everyone. Anyway…CANTA handed this over to Lewis to reply to: Hi there, White Dude (same). Good to know people are actually reading my stuff instead of skipping over it to get to the columns. I’m also very happy you felt incensed enough to write what is, phew!, a very lengthy deconstruction of my passing remark. Rest assured that I’m well aware of all those numerous dudes and dudettes you used to prop yourself up as a true connoisseur -Noname’s “Telefone” is brilliant, and I need Tyler’s Flower Boy injected into my veins, but Chance the Rapper’s “Acid Rap” is one of my top 5 albums I’d want to be stranded on a desert island with -- and I see where you’re coming from. I gotta review new stuff that comes out the month before the deadline, then sit on it until CANTA prints. I have to work with what was actually put out the month of the deadline, so sometimes the immediate release pool is limited. If you have any suggestions or notice I missed anything good, please send them thru to CANTA, so I can rectify being a ‘giant whiney crybaby’, as you put it, for half-mindedly exaggerating the homogenous elements of hip hop. My bad. Lewis

FROSTY BITES BACK 2: THIS TIME IT’S SERIOUS

LET’S TALK ABOUT MENSTRUAL CUPS

Frosty Anon here, in response to F-words response. So what you’re saying is, you intentionally left out information which would help your readers have an informed understanding of implicit association tests, as an attempt to artificially control the narrative and the underlying ground which the dialogue occurs. Under the guise of starting a conversation, or in other words the ends justify the means. Intellectual honesty is actually really important, and I get it we all have our agendas, but willfully suggesting people use a completely invalid test of extremely important things such as racism, in a university setting, has the potential to be extremely damaging to vulnerable young minds.

Kia ora Canta, I wanted to let your readers know that Wā Collective recently reached out to the UCSA to team up and offer $15 menstrual cups for us students. They work with UoA, Vic, Massey, and Lincoln student’s associations. The UCSA said no. Here’s why: “The owners of the pharmacy are not keen for us to sell menstrual cups” In a later email, “we, as an executive, do not think it is appropriate to compromise their success in this instance.” Our student’s association seem to be putting the pharmacy above the needs of the students. We can’t afford a $60 menstrual cup, which is the price at the pharmacy. Cup sales are only a tiny part of the pharmacy’s sales. The UCSA recognises there’s a problem with period poverty and have responded with menstrual emergency scheme. This is a good scheme, but partnering up with Wā Collective would allow the UCSA to contribute to a longterm fix to this issue. Our student’s association needs to be looking out for our students. Will UCSA rethink this decision and prioritise students they represent over their business interests? They’ll subsidise bike locks, but not something crucial for us in our daily lives? We understand the pressures they are facing, but they must stand up and advocate for students. UCSA, show some real leadership. If you’d like to show your support

– Frosty Hey Frosty, thanks for your additional letter. How about we open this up to the wider UC community….where the opinions at? – CANTA

for a partnership between the UCSA and Wā Collective, find Young Labour Christchurch on Facebook and sign our petition, or follow this link: https://goo.gl/forms/ hePmMR59PRzwVWqE2 Ngā mihi, Charlotte Merrall Secretary of Young Labour Christchurch PS - Young Labour is also exploring other options to ensure those in need across Aotearoa have access to subsidised menstrual products and plan to work with the government on this in future. The UCSA recently investigated a partnership with Wā Collective to provide menstrual cups. We have decided to partner with MY CUP NZ, a local initiative who offer the same service at an even better price for our students. We will be working with the Uni Pharmacy to provide these discounted menstrual cups through their business. The UCSA is committed to supporting our students. This means making sure our students can avoid period poverty, therefore the UCSA will continue to offer free emergency menstrual products. These are offered discretely and at no charge, from the UCSA Reception.

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NEWSFEED

(Left to right) Alex Manktelow, Quinn Hornblow, Dominic O’Connor, Maddy Furness, Florence Hinder & Dane Hart

STUDENTS WALK FOR WATER - TAKING A STAND FOR WATER SCARCITY On Sunday the 4th of June, six passionate Engineers Without Borders (EWB) members took to the Christchurch Marathon to complete, but each with a 20 L container of water, for the 10 km walk. All to raise awareness for those women and children that have to spend everyday carrying water whilst also gaining a greater understanding of what others have to endure. They spent just two hours on one day, yet women spend on average 6 hours everyday in developing countries. In Sub-Saharan Africa Women are responsible for 72% of the water collected. (http://www.wssinfo.org/…/user…/resources/ report_wash_low.pdf) When a community gets water, women and girls get their lives back. They start businesses, improve their homes, and take charge of their own futures. EWB Canterbury Students Vice President - Alex Manktelow - “Many water systems around the world fail, often due to the system either being culturally inappropriate or suffering from lack of maintenance. At EWB we don’t think this is good enough, and are working hard to teach engineers about how to work with communities to produce more sustainable outcomes.” Florence Hinder, an EWB member said “We need to have a greater awareness of the issue that is water scarcity, whilst also empowering women.” Maddy Furness, another EWB member that also completed the 10 km with the 20L of water balanced on her head the entire time, described it as “hard yakka that's for sure.” How women do this every day is unbelievable, and in much harsher conditions as well! EWB (ENGINEERS WITHOUT BORDERS) At EWB we believe that by improving access to water we are building a society with greater gender equity. A

lot of our international projects involve improving water and sanitation infrastructure. For example the one we just completed with a community group in Ambrym, Vanuatu to improve the water supply for two remote villages. During the dry season, the rainwater tanks typically ran dry throughout the villages, and the locals had to trek several kilometres to the closest spring to fetch water. This was no easy task, as the one hour walk was up a steep slippery creek, which was even harder on the way down when they are carrying full buckets of water.

Alex Manktelow (left) and Maddy Furness (right), midway through the walk.

This project to improve the community’s water supply was led by the Wawan Fonhal Development Council, who are a group of women on Ambrym responsible for water and sanitation projects across 9 villages. These women asked for our assistance with this project, as they did not have the technical expertise to carry out the project themselves. Between 2013-2016 four EWB volunteers traveled to Vanuatu to progress the various stages of scoping through to the physical build. The design work and project management was supported by a team of volunteers back in New Zealand. You can see more about this work and other projects at www.ewb.org.nz. Together the 6 EWB members raised $3010, if you feel like you would also like contribute towards EWB it’s not too late! Donate here ---> ewbnz.nationbuilder.com/donate Contact: Alex Manktelow Florence Hinder Ph: 0277475012 Ph: 021 179 8015 E: fhinder@gmail.com E: canterbury.students@ewb.org.nz

EXEC UPDATE

FROM THE DESK OF THE UCSA PRESIDENT students can drive up here to come to concerts. A Multi-Purpose arena will also provide a lot of additional employment opportunities to students which we voiced as an important factor. We also stated that we believe having a roof on this stadium is a non-negotiable. Liam Donnelly, our Arts Representative, also wrote an article which was published on stuff stating our support for the stadium and the roof. https://www. stuff.co.nz/the-press/business/the-rebuild/103553140/ the-next-generation-of-christchurch-leaders-urgeprogress-on-covered-arena Tena Koutou, It seems only fitting that as we near the end of the first semester I give you a small update on what the UCSA has been doing lately. Hopefully, you all had the chance to read the section in the last CANTA called “UCSA Exec: How’re they stacking up” which outlined some of the execs goals and how they’re getting on. Ultimately that’s an accountability piece, after all you voted us in so it’s our responsibility to keep you in the loop! Today I’ll take a quick chance to give a deeper delve into something we as an exec have been doing lately.

CHRISTCHURCH CITY COUNCIL LONG TERM PLAN. Every 3 years the City Council call for submissions from the public on their long-term plan. The long-term plan outlines the goals and budget allocations for the next 10 years. This year the Exec thought it was time we as students had some input. After all, students make up a large proportion of this city, and we the youth are the ones that will inherit the decisions the Council make – good or bad. Outlined below are some of the points we submitted on. 1: CREATING A VIBRANT CITY This means greater living opportunities within the 4 avenues (CBD), More cultural and arts opportunities and more unique events to our city, like Buskers festival, which for some reason is now gone. We believe by creating a more vibrant city more students will have a reason to head into the city and look around and one day have a city they’re stoked to work in. 2: MULTI-PURPOSE ARENA (STADIUM) We voiced our support of the Multi-Purpose Arena. We’re sick of missing out on word class events such as Ed Sheeran and Kendrick Lamar to our smaller neighbour down the road, Dunedin, just because they have a better venue. With a better stadium, we could finally get a turn at playing the host and Otago

3: TRANSPORT NETWORK We believe that the Council should continue to look at sustainable transport options for the city, such as more cycle ways. Christchurch should be aiming to become a city of the future, and that means a city where cars aren’t necessarily the priority on the roads, but our road systems are built to prioritise public transport, bikes, and walking first, then cars second. 4: ADDITIONAL FUNDING FOR CHRISTCHURCHNZ We supported the ChristchurchNZ proposal for additional funding to attract major events, economic development and to promote the city. We see this as a good step towards making a vibrant city with a healthy economy. 5: PARKS AND HERITAGE We supported the investment into parks and heritage, particularly the restoration of the Port Hills. We see the Port Hill parks and walking tracks as none of the greatest recreational assets in Christchurch, one which students really enjoy using. I also went and presented this submission to the City Council in a public hearing at the Council chambers in town. It was very well received with the councillors happy to see youth engaging with the city. In a time where other student associations are reporting their local councils disregard and care for students it seems we have a council that genuinely care and are interested in what students have to say. So much so that the Mayor invited the UCSA Exec to come and meet with the council to further discuss the future of the city and what the priorities are for students. We, of course, are here to represent the student body. So take this opportunity to contact us if you have concerns and thoughts about our city, the more we can hear from you, the more we can do to make sure this city is timeless and great. JOSH PROCTOR UCSA President

Ben O'Connell gets $20 to rate or slate the UC cafes, and helps you feel confident in your bad food choices on campus.

ANCESTRAL, ERNEST RUTHERFORD BUILDING

ith the opening of the Rutherford building comes the opening of a new on-campus restaurant, which I just had to visit. A new restaurant leaves us asking, “Are people just going here because it’s new, or because they like it?” Welcome to Ben Appetit, where I find the best munches for your cheap uni lunches. This week, Ancestral. My initial thoughts upon arrival consisted of “Wow” and “Crikey that’s a big line”. After that, I noticed the lovely decor and large seating area, which I feel would be a great place for a bougie white ass meeting. The place has a modern feel while still capturing the essence of a fusion restaurant. UC’s Ancestral is a smaller version of the Riccarton one while maintaining its vibe blah blah blah cultural commodification. I only had $20 of course - most of the items were above $9, so I only managed to get crystal chicken gai fan for $11.90, and a large peach milk tea with pearls for $7. I would’ve got a medium bubble tea for $5.50, but there was no point as nothing was $4 - $5. The lines though…I waited 12 minutes to get my meal. The chicken was a bit dry, and I wish there was more, but by golly was it flavourful and crunchy. The coleslaw was fab; shoutout to my sister for her Japanese mayonnaise obsession. I got the takeaway option and it had lovely packaging, and came with a generous pack of utensils. I got the gai fan chicken as per the menu it’s an “all time favourite”…………I don’t know about that.

The bubble tea was good, cold, and packed full of peach flavour. A medium would’ve been enough though. There was a hole in my straw! The humanity! All up, the bubble tea is worth a try, and a welcome oncampus edition. To answer the question posed earlier, I would say most of the current rush is due to curiosity and the fact Ancestral are the New Kids on the Block. I’m pleased the on-campus options have grown, especially the bubble tea, and with six flavours and many add ons there’s a whole bunch of combinations to try. The dish I had was a bit of a let down size wise, but the snacks looked bomb (and I wish I’d purchased a few of them instead). My final advice is to avoid the lecture rush and go on the half hour. One more thing: The single use packaging is too much. Quite wasteful. Hopefully places in future have the environment in mind.

7 OUT OF 10 BENS

Street Eats I know Saturday morning is considered ‘sleep-in’ day and I love mine as much as the next person. However, if there’s one thing that gets me to rid myself of my PJ’s, erupt out of bed and lace my walking shoes on, it’s a gorgeous day and slow meander through Christchurch Farmers Market (Riccarton House and Bush). If you’ve never been, it’s an absolute must, especially around this time of year, when the leaves are changing; and the vibrant colours against the lilac blue sky are stunning and its beneath this seasonal canopy you enter the market. Supermarkets : where stressed people wander the aisles, shouting down mobile phones, steering trolley’s into ankles, with list in hand. Parents scream at children, whilst grabbing repetitive items to fulfill a weekly need of fuel and go. Farmers Markets : No list, just trust the farmer / producer. Families, kids, buskers, tourists. Swinging baskets, eco bags and hessian sacks. Happy stall holders, proud of their harvest. Seasonal produce, fat, juicy and full of sun, flavour and colour. Warm soup aromas, mixed with eggs and fish on hot grills, social gatherings, children playing in leaves, and smiles, so many smiles. Where On The Street : 16 Kahu Road, is the actual address of the Market, however, it’s held in the grounds of Riccarton House and Bush, a heritage site consisting of two historic buildings, flanked by beautiful open parkland, ornate gardens and native bush. It’s well worth a visit just to check out the house and Deans Cottage (the first home shared by the Deans (one of the first families to settle in Christchurch) as they established their farming vision in Riccarton – back in the day!

Foodage : Even if you’re not a cook and feel very happy (thank you very much), in your local supermarket, this Cantabrian bazaar is the perfect place to pick up a fresh barista coffee, chai, creamy hot chocolate or freshly brewed Kombucha, French pastry, and a pottle of duck food to perch, on the grass, by the slowly flowing Avon and listen to some Jazz as the world goes by. If however, like me you have a voracious appetite, then the following amazing stalls are on offer to please your ‘break the fast’ choice: Posh Porridge : one of the most incredible bowls of hot delicious breakfast you could ever choose to eat. Cooked to perfection in a combination of milk, cream, soy milk etc., with a variety of stunning toppings, my current favourite Quince, Apple with Ginger Syrup and Pistachio Coconut Crumble (eeeek!) so good and only $10 a bowl. For a day’s worth of bellyful goodness and you feel like it’s healthy – well kinda!! Bacon Brothers : is another ‘shut the front door’ dedicated stall, always surrounded by a mass of people, drawn to the smell of frying bacon, like Christians to the Vatican. Currently grilling to order a variety of sandwiches, including The ‘Sassy Jannine’ (see pic) stuffed with Free Range Bacon, Lettuce, Avocado, Tomato and a Crispy Hash brown with homemade BBQ Aioli. Sandwiches start from $9.00 depending on your hangover or bacon constitution. If you’re veggie or vegan, avert your eyes people. I could go on and on, however I’ll save you the ‘blah’ needless to say you can get your foodie kicks very easily from the variety of fresh, organically grown produce which range from shittake mushrooms, elephant garlic, olive oil, homemade Italian pastries, fresh crumpets, artisan cured salamis and meat. Free range eggs, freshly baked loaves & buns, flowers, vegetables and condiments.

Vegan and raw food, cakes and sweets. Vegetarian fare, stunning local wine and cheese, plus of course a heady mix of different types of diverse food stalls, Colombian, Korean, Japanese, Spanish, Vietnamese and a smattering of fusions. There’s a geeza who sells divine Cornish Pastries, wrapped in the most delicate, crumbly, buttery pastry….. ooh I’m dribbling again! Even if you only go 4 times a year (every change of season), you will not be disappointed and you will return. What I love, love, love, is whilst wandering up and down the stalls, crunching through the gravel, we’re supporting our community, in the best possible way. Time Mr Wolf : 9am – 1pm (get there early for the best produce) For more Hax, tips, tricks, tips and banging recipes from Jax, head to www.jaxfoodhax.com or www.jaxhamilton.co.nz Bahahahaah – big love, stay gold. Jax

www.jaxfoodhax.com @jaxfoodhax

@jaxfoodhax

PROFILING THE BEST CLUBS AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS

UC ROBOTICS In April, UC Robotics was involved in International robotics competition in the USA. Colleges and high schools compete against each other in a ‘game’ whose rules are changed annually that involve the teams to build a robot to perform various tasks to obtain objectives. Two NZ teams went to worlds: this was a joint team of UC and VIC called ‘In the Zone’, and an independent group.

We had approximately 50 members last year! Stay tuned for this year’s sign ups, coming soon! WHAT WE DO: – Mentoring of High schoolers interesting in getting into VEX robotics and robotics in general. – Competing in VEX robotics – Helping to get Canterbury students experience in VEX robotics and Lego robotics so that they can tutor high schools and compete themselves.

– Create a social environment for those interesting in robotics and meeting new people also interested in robotics. – International robotics competitions in the US Get more info at: fb.com/UCRoboticsOfficial/

UCOM RUNNING WITHOUT BORDERS Do you feel like getting some fresh Autumn air? Do you feel like helping others in need? Make your personal achievement an action that can benefit others and join our team in the Christchurch Marathon. Engineers Without Borders is entering a team in the Christchurch Marathon on the 3rd of June. Why join us?

RUNNING NOT YOUR THING?

Walk for Water! Walk the 10k with a 20L water container to raise awareness about the issue of access to fresh water in the developing world. Globally, water scarcity already affects four out of every 10 people. A lack of water and poor water quality kills approximately 2.2 million people - DISCOUNTED ENTRY FEE: every year. (WHO) – Full Marathon - $75 ($20 Engineers Without Borders is a discount) registered charitable trust and by – Half Marathon - $60 ($15 fundraising with us you can help discount) provide access to the engineering – 10K - $35 ($10 discount) knowledge and resources required by developing communities in the - WHEN YOU FUNDRAISE WITH US ON OUR GIVEALITTLE PAGE: South Pacific and New Zealand.  – If you reach $100 you will receive a Running Without Borders You can find all the info you need at Running Shirt to wear on race day givealittle.co.nz/event/rwbc2018 – If you are the top fundraiser you will receive flights and tickets to the Engineers Without Borders Conference in Auckland – Other prizes to be announced… - RUN WITH A TEAM

- ALL STUDENTS CAN JOIN - WARM DRINKS AT THE FINISH LINE

UCOM is the premier UC Commerce Faculty club. It’s for anyone who wants to work hard, play hard and develop their professional and entrepreneurial skills, whatever your year and degree! We pride ourselves on having it all, and providing a perfect balance for our members. Membership gets you discounted tickets to the best social events of the year and provides tutorials for first and second year commerce related papers. Come along to the unique industry and careers events to rub noggins with the big wigs of top NZ and international firms, to help you network for intern and graduate opportunities. Not solely for commerce students! We can polish up your CV, inspire you with our guest speakers from start-up companies and investment firms, and pair you up with an industry mentor in our high performance program. Our first major social event is the Endof-Term Foundry Night BBQ on the 29th March, and past years have attracted some top music artists such as BAYNK, P Money and David Dallas. Get in contact via Facebook or email – ucom.society@gmail.com - for any info, and to find out why it’s the right club and university lifestyle for you. It’s a win win!

ONE STEP One Step is all it takes, it’s as simple as that. One Step is a running club that is in Auckland, Melbourne, Dunedin and now Christchurch!!!! It began in Auckland a couple of years ago, constructed on the benefits of exercise on mental health. My name is Julia Chamberlain, I am in my fourth year studying Law and Criminal Justice. I am happy to be bringing One Step to Christchurch with a friend of mine, Abby, so here’s a little more information about the running club. Mental health is an extensive topic that is slowly being talked about more and more. It ranges from anxiety to depression, stress or being overwhelmed and going

through a breakup or coping with disappointment. We have all had a variety of ups and downs in our lives and exercise is a simple way to help feel better. It is a proven way to increase mood and maintain a good headspace so come and get those endorphins! One Step is a running club is for anyone. You do not need to be fit or have the latest active wear, just turn up and we can encourage and help you. It’s about enjoying the journey, connecting with new people and getting some fresh air. We live in such a beautiful city and Hagley Park is a classic example of this. Meet us at the Armagh Street Bridge in Hagley Park every Monday morning at 7am, rain or shine. We have a 2km loop that you can do as many times as you please. It’s a free running club that anyone can attend, bring your flatmates, your dog or your Mum. Coffee and a catch up occurs after running, more of the reason to come along! Take the first step with us to a happier, healthier you. Check out their Instagram – @onestepisallittakes or any questions, feel free to email me – juliawchamberlain@gmail.com I look forward to seeing you all on Monday at 7am

CUSSC The Canterbury University Snow Sports Club (CUSSC) attracts people with a passion for cold, white powder, along with an insatiable passion for the mountains. We run weekend events out of our own lodge at Temple Basin Ski field in Arthurs Pass, which is situated within stumbling distance of a rope tow that takes you half way up the mountain. Ever wanted to explore some of the best terrain in New Zealand? We can make that happen. Currently we have 7 events on the cards for this season, such as a ski week, a freeride competition and a learner’s weekend. Search us on Facebook for more information. You can contact the club through our email, info@cussc.nz, or our facebook page Canterbury University Snow Sports Club CUSSC

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INTERN AT PEKING UNIVERSIT Y

round three months ago I was sitting outside Tiananmen Square at midnight, bonding with a chainsmoking military guard over Africa by Toto, and I wondered – how did I get here? While this realm of existentialism is probably best left to Jaden Smith, (and the puns left to actually funny human beings), the specific case of ending up in China was a result of the absolutely primo opportunity offered by UC to take part in a six-week summer programme

at Peking University, Beijing. I was lucky enough to be (definitely by accident) selected for this. Aside from living in a totally different world, the opportunities on this programme are endless. We (attempted) to learn Mandarin, were taken to many traditional ceremonies, got involved with the expat community, worked on research for Chinese/NZ immigration, spent 3 days in Guangzhou meeting students, and heard some of the most phenomenally weird and wonderful stories of China’s history in daily classes at Peking. Additionally, I got to risk my life every morning; one commutes to campus by bike. It’s a phenomenal place where social and technological evolution is accelerating at a ridiculous rate, and I would highly recommend anyone to apply for this fantastic opportunity. If I can make the cut, frankly anyone can. In the famous words of Chinese philosopher Shia LaBoeuf; “Just DO IT.” For more information: www.canterbury.ac.nz/engage/partnerships/chinainternships/ APPLICATIONS CLOSE 31 JULY 2018

TECHNOLOGY ADDICTION: TIME FOR A DEVICE DIET?

Addiction. It’s an ugly word. Nobody likes to think they’ve got one. But in reality, there’s a good chance we’ve all got an addiction. An addiction to technology is something we’re all battling with, it’s pretty much not conscious to any of us but we’re all still addicted. Sure, you could probably argue there are more pressing addictions to talk about – tobacco, alcohol, fast food, gambling, illicit drugs… the list goes on. I know ‘technology’ is a broad term to use but that’s why I used it. Cellphones, laptops, social media, these are basically all derivates of technology. Think about it for a second, we’re all kinda addicted. Students these days spend a lot of time on their phones, when we’re not on those we’re on our laptops. We use pieces of technology with screens for just about everything. Basically they could put a screen on anything, give it an internet connection, and our generation will go nuts for it. Okay, so technology may not kill you in the way that alcohol takes a hammer to your liver, or huffing durries make your lungs look like a car engine. But it’s still pretty bad for us. Right, now I’ve got you all in a sad mood. Let’s take a journey through Liam’s superdepressing World of Technology Addictions. Yaaaay!

LAPTOPS

The Hades of technology in this case. Laptops, or computers if you’re rich, are what we seem to sit on all day. I see people carrying them around everyday, a

lot of us have bags purposely designed to carry them! When we need to study, we’ll do so on our laptop, if we have to write something, on our laptops again. Take a look in the Undercroft at peak traffic time, it’s a sea of bloody laptops. So many things live on our laptops, Netflix, social media, lecture notes, essays. From our hobbies to our studies, it all lives on our laptops so why would we go anywhere else. Every year I hear exam tips, and every year one of the tips I hear is put a timed blocker on Facebook and Netflix and so on. Well if we weren’t so addicted to them, why do people block them just so they can study properly?

CELLPHONES

I guess this includes tablets, if you’ve got a hand in Daddy’s wallet. Anyway, always somewhere close by - usually in our pockets, cellphones are our best friends, they feed us every bit of information we could possibly need. There’s an App for just about everything, games, socialising, romance, photography, studying, current affairs, fitness… it’s all so tantalising. Then, these apps come with things called ‘notifications’, they keep us engaged even when we might not necessarily want. They do this by vibrating and making stupid noises to get your attention when the phone isn’t getting used.

GAMING

No one really wants to legitimise gaming as an addiction, because it has the word game in it, but unfortunately, it’s like meth of the technology world. The basic structure of a game is that you have objectives. Those objectives could vary from, go

13 somewhere, kill someone, collect something, whatever it is. Many games are structured around completing objectives. Once you complete an objective you get rewarded in some way, you get to continue the game or you get given a magical wand or something. Either way you get rewarded with nice lovely endorphins. A happy little chemical your brain releases every time you feel relieved or happy that you’ve completed something, it’s the same chemical smokers get every time they put a death stick in their mouths. You play a game, complete an objective, feel good about it, play another objective. It’s a vicious cycle.

SOCIAL MEDIA

I feel like I don’t even need to explain this one. We live on this stuff. Constantly displaying what we’ve done in our lives, expressing how we feel… and it’s all sanitised. People use social media to show everyone who they are, but obviously people only want to show what they think is the best possible version of themselves. Even while writing this paragraph I’ve paused to check how many likes my new profile picture had got… twice. If everyone is constantly trying to be what they perceive is the best possible version of themselves, visually, emotionally, and morally, are

we living a happy life or are we constantly trying to be better versions of ourselves? Studies have shown our generation has really high levels of stress and depression because we spend so much time on and worrying about social media. Okay, so I hope you enjoyed Liam’s super-depressing journey through the World of Technology Additions. Now what? Try recognise some of these addictions in your own life, how long do you spend on your laptop? Your cellphone? Reflect and try to make small adjustments. For example, one tip I have is don’t look at any screens for the last 30 minutes before you go to bed, you’ll get to sleep quicker and will have a better sleep. It’s small adjustments like this that work best. Just make time in your life not to stare at a screen, go for a run… or play a board game for something. By Liam Donnelly

SIGNS YOU NEED A DEVICE DIET: - YOU CLOSE FACEBOOK ON YOUR LAPTOP AND PICK UP YOUR PHONE TO OPEN IT AGAIN - USING YOUR DEVICES ALTERS YOUR MOOD - YOU INVENT REASONS TO USE THE INTERNET, SUCH AS FACT-CHECKING DURING A CONVERSATION, OR VIEWING IMDB DURING A MOVIE - YOU WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND CHECK YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA - YOU'D FEEL WEIRD GOING TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT YOUR PHONE - YOU'VE UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED TO DETOX FROM YOUR DEVICES IN THE PAST

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YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT CANTA interviews Sam Cutler

am Cutler literally wrote the book on touring with rock stars. Putting on shows for bands like Pink Floyd, Fleetwood Mac, the Grateful Dead, Eric Clapton’s band Blind Faith, and the Rolling Stones, he became a key player in the newly emerging rock and roll era of the 60s. Sam lived the highs and lows of touring with rock stars, most notably as tour manager when The Rolling Stones headlined the infamous Altamont Free Concert. CANTA: After doing a quick round of Googling, I’ve found out you used to work as a teacher for the University of Cambridge. What possessed you to make the jump from grading history papers to managing tours for headlining rock 'n rollers? SAM CUTLER: It was a gradual transition from being a student, to teaching, to rock n roll. I actually worked throughout my student and teaching years doing shows on a local level. I ran a folk club. Worked on small festivals. Whatever I could find. In the end my salary as a teacher was so pathetic, I was earning more for one night in rock n roll production that I was earning as a teacher for a week, so rock n roll won easily. C: You were adopted out and raised by a pair of communists. That’s pretty damn interesting, considering this was England during the Cold War we’re talking about. Did any of that working-class political zeal carry over later in life, comrade? SC: I am to the 'left' of communism, in that I absolutely reject ALL forms of state control, at least as suggested by Marx and Co.

IN A COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP I WOULDN'T LAST LONG. They don't like people who are free-thinkers. I guess democracy is really a pretty poor system BUT it's the best that we have (as far as I can see) so I'm a 'passive participant’ and try not to be disruptive or make waves. I sit in the corner, do my writing, and let the whole mess simply get on with whatever it is it sees fit to do. C: Let’s just peel this band aid of as quick as possible — you’re the guy who got the Hells Angels to work as stage security for the Altamont Speedway concert in ‘69, where people got beaten up, cars got broken into, and, more infamously, a man got stabbed to death. Grim stuff. I’m sure you’re tired of everyone asking you about it, but how do you look back on that choice forty-something years later? SC: I was ONE of the people who talked to the Hells Angels at the suggestion of the Grateful Dead who first broached the idea of a free concert with the Rolling Stones. The Angels wanted money for beer, and it was originally agreed that they would hang out by the generators which is what they had always done at various free gigs. The site for the concert changed, the arrangements had to be changed on an ad hoc basis, and it all turned to shit. Looking back on it all, it amazes me there is still morbid interest in THIS event when there have been MANY others that were infinitely worse with far greater loss of life. C: On a lighter note, you were also the guy who started introducing the Rolling Stones as “the greatest rock

17 and roll band in the world”. That seems to have rung somewhat true, considering that they’re all still going until this day. How did you get involved with them? SC: I first got involved with people from the Stones when Charlie Watts used to come and drum at free gigs I used to stage at a church hall in Notting hill. I met Keith a few times at parties and then produced the free show in Hyde Park in the summer of '69. thereafter they asked me to be their tour manager on their US Tour.

C: Was Keith Richards as cool as he lets on? SC: Keith is a cool enough guy. I like the man. He loves his kids and is loyal to those that love him. C: You’ve managed some of the largest concert events of our time, with more bands that a dad could list as examples of music being better in his day. Even after the Stones, you worked as a tour manager for the Grateful Dead, organising one of their largest tours to date. How did you actually keep sane during it all? SC: Simple. I never did drugs, slept with girls, or listened to the music….NOT!!

HOW DO YOU THINK ONE STAYS SANE IN THE FACE OF MADNESS?? BY HAVE AN IRON GRIP ON ONESELF AND BEING SECURE IN ONE’S OWN VALUE SYSTEM, HAVING MORALS AND ETHICS, AND BY NOT BEING SUCKED IN TO ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT IS KNEE DEEP AROUND THE MUSIC BUSINESS. C: As you detail in your book, you had some exciting exploits, having to deal with all the grifters, con-artists, dealers and, worst of all, lawyers, who wanted to worm their ways into the various inner circles - not to mention the groupies. How’d you deal with them? Any particularly memorable examples come to mind?

SC: Further to my answer above, one deals with these people from a position of personal power. I have been inaccurately described as a 'psychedelic fascist', by which epithet people were trying to describe my ability to remain absolutely focused on the job at hand whilst consuming large amounts of naughties and having the uncanny ability to count money under the most hazardous and difficult circumstances. *laughs* C: With a lot of music memoirs, the authors tend to spend a lot of time talking about all the women they bed, all the alcohol they drank, all the drugs they took, that celebrated hedonism that came with rock n’ roll. Apparently, you got up to a bit of that as well. Tell us; was it all as fun as it sounds? SC: Of course! I am not a monk, nor am I a Catholic clergyman, so the fun component was a necessary element in my putting up with all the crap that comes with the job. It was the 'antidote' to the stifling arrogance of many entertainers and the arrogant absurdity of the whole business. I had fun. Big time. Most of the people in the Grateful Dead were committed to fun as a necessary component of making music. If it wasn't fun, why do it?? You might as well work for the government! C: You’ve since decamped to Australia to live a quieter life and, presumably, had a lot of time to reflect. In your lifetime, you have rubbed shoulders with certified rock legends, some of which punk kids my age can only hear through CD’s or music streaming services. As someone who was actually there to witness it all firsthand, do you have any thoughts on the state of today’s music? SC: I don't listen to much contemporary pop music. I tend to listen to jazz and to classical music But of course, I listen to lots of stuff from the sixties and seventies. Pop music by definition is designed for young people, I am no longer 'young'. They are welcome to their tastes which have always been at variance with their parents’ generation. Let them get on with it and enjoy what they have. SAM CUTLER’s book YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT is out now. The UCSA has Sam Cutler’s A NIGHT WITH THE ROLLING STONES at The Foundry, May 22nd. Check out our event on Facebook. Interview by Lewis Hoban

Welcome to NZ First HQ. We love watching rugby, drinking Kava and sifting on first and second years (except Lito and Azeem they have girlfriends. Dumb). Our Creyke Rd flat consists of five young lads:  • LITO: 2nd Pro civil engineer, hailing from the land of Tuvalu. He is a shy 6’4 gentle giant that can strike fear in any man. • CURTIS: standard run of the mill Fijian that has the physique of a god. He’s in his final year of Law at UC. When he isn’t studying he’s pulling screamers from The Foundry, keeping the flat awake. • AZEEM: Third Year Pro Chemical processing engineer. He originates from Singapore and what he makes up in height makes up for muscle, as he is a bodybuilder.

NZ First HQ won a ‘flat night out’ at Harringtons Brewery for food and beer tasting, AND two dozen Icebreaker to take home. Want to see your flat in CANTA? Email: canta@canta.co.nz

• GAVIN: studying his master of Commerce. Coming from Thailand, he is a laid back bloke with the attitude of ‘Due tomorrow, do tomorrow’ in his postgrad years. • PENI: a half Fijian, half Tuvalu who is also in his final year of Law. We can’t understand a single thing when Lito and him are speaking… we just roll with it.

Photography by Matt Harvey

UC PHOTOGR APHY CLUB

COMPETITION WINNERS

hey say a picture is worth a thousand words, but sadly those words don’t count towards the never-ending stream of assignments I have right now. Fortunately, there is one group of people that appreciate the stories my pictures tell, and I was lucky enough to be able to meet with them at the first ever UC Photography Club competition. The competition showcased the talent of over 40 of UC’s very own photographers, with experience levels ranging from ‘Look at this photo I took on my phone last week’ to ‘You should be paying me to enter your competition’. Amongst the crowd were many familiar faces from the social BBQ held last term, and for many of those people this would be their first time at a photo competition.

After giving critique on each photo, the judges announced the top in the Nature category to be the spectacular photo of three Kea in flight by Ben Karalus, and the top in the Open category to be the powerful image of a blind man by Maria Tamar Halina.

Open Category winner: Blind Man – Maria Tamar Halina

Nature Category winner: Coming in for Landing – Ben Karalus

The judges stood and introduced themselves as Paul Furborough and John Thornton, two committee members from the Christchurch Photographic Society. I had spoken with them both at the beginning of the evening and discussed how photography is a very personal and subjective art form, and that it must be hard to judge because of that (I think deep down I was a little apprehensive of being roasted on the imperfections in the photo I had submitted). They both assured me that although their critique may sound harsh, they tried to be as constructive and as little soul crushing as possible. As the entries started flicking across the screen I was amazed by the calibre of the photos entered in the competition... Not only were many of the images stunning, but there was also a surprising variety of different shots; from vast landscapes to creative edits, and even somebody’s pet chicken that looked like it had experience in the field of modelling. The comments were firm but fair, constructive without beating around the bush. I was glad when my photo didn’t attract too much of a verbal onslaught.

After a short break (in which I gorged myself on the free food available), a people’s choice photo was voted upon. Stella Liu swept the floor with her ominous photo of two jellyfish. Overall I had an awesome evening chatting with some very talented people, and definitely learnt a lot because of it. Here’s to hoping that next competition I will be walking away with one of the 3 Westfield vouchers!

Peoples Choice: Untitled – Stella Liu

Got a question? photographyclubuc@gmail.com facebook.com/photographyclubuc iinstagram.com/ucphotoclub

WELLNESS WATCH SELF-LOVE AND STAYING WELL

o, there’s this thing that I think we all need a little more of – you’ve probably heard of it before? It’s called self-love. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about us living special snowflake lives in an igloo where nobody can hurt us or becoming hippies who live in the forest far away from society… I am talking about a level of self-appreciation that is fundamental to being a functioning, happy and healthy human being. Loving yourself is a difficult thing to master: I think on the whole, we’re pretty good at showing love to others – to family, to friends, to our boyfriends, girlfriends - in platonic or romantic contexts. But when was the last time we stopped to deliberately show love to ourselves? This takes many forms, and it can be as simple as examining the self-talk we are using when we think, to getting enough sleep, having enough down time to unwind and destress, masturbating if you’re into that, reading a good book or watching your favourite movie, having a little dance or even busting out a bit of karaoke. Some of us are really good at this whole self-love thing, and others can struggle with it. In this world of social media, of comparisons and competition, especially in the context of university – it can be really hard to embrace where we’re at right now and say hey, I should be proud of what I’ve achieved so far. Essentially, I think we need to give ourselves a break sometimes! I have noticed that in general, we are so much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. Have you ever stopped to listen to the way you talk to yourself? How many of us have ever had thoughts like:

What’s the point of this? I’m just going to mess it up anyway. That exam result wasn’t good enough; why am I so dumb? No wonder he didn’t want to talk to me, I’m not that interesting. A clichéd, albeit useful thought experiment is to picture yourself as a friend, and imagine yourself telling them the things you say to yourself. Pretty harsh, right? Just to reiterate, I’m not suggesting that we stop self-analysing, because I think that is really valuable and allows us to grow as people. However, I am suggesting that we make ourselves aware of, and try to change the negative and self-deprecating thoughts when they arise in our own minds to protect our wellbeing as best we can. Adopting a growth mind-set, as opposed to a mind-set that is quick to condemn or equate a loss to complete and absolute failure, is really important for all of us. A “growth mind-set” looks like changing the language that we use when we talk to ourselves from a closed success/failure, black or white outcome, to an open ended, room-for-improvement type way of thinking.

A dangerous habit to get into when thoughts like the examples above crop up is to take them as absolute truth, and to not challenge them at all. If we consistently believe that we’re not that interesting, that we’re dumb, or we believe that we always mess things up, of course that is going to affect our self-confidence, and the way that we interact with people on a day to day basis. I think of times I where I was mentally unwell, and the most basic interactions with people – e.g. greeting an acquaintance when you see them in public – felt overwhelming, because in my head was an endless stream of: what are you doing with your face, why are you walking like that, you’re terrible at this, don’t bother them, they’re not interested in what you have to say, it’s not important enough… extremely self-critical, right? And more than that: very self-conscious and self-focused. If you’ve struggled with mental illness personally, you will probably be able to relate to aspects of this example. This is why it is so important that our self-talk is gentle, self-respectful, and always coming from a positive place. Easier said than done, I know. But something that’s kind of freeing to recognise, and I think is an epiphany a lot of us have at some point in our high school years, is that no one is thinking about you nearly as much as you are. We are easily our own worst critic, so maybe we should start giving ourselves better reviews? That’s not to say we should all become super egotistical and talk about how wonderful we are – just that we deserve to show ourselves respect, as much as we should expect to give and receive respect from others. Let me be clear: I am not suggesting that mental health issues are solvable just like that – talking from personal experience, I know that if you are struggling, it is important to seek help from professionals and not bottle feelings up and try to deal with them on your own.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO BE MORE SELF-LOVING - MAKE TIME FOR THE THINGS YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT AND LOVE TO DO - LEARN TO RECOGNISE WHEN YOU’RE TAKING ON TOO MUCH, AND SAY TO NO WHEN YOU NEED TO WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY ABOUT IT - RECOGNISE WHEN YOU’RE NOT OKAY, AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH SOMEONE YOU TRUST

By Abby Robertson

A FEW NOTES Hit me with your rhythm stick

JANELLE MONAE – DIRTY COMPUTER Midway through 2016, the grim year that it was, we lost Prince, the ruffleclad mastermind musician who redefined the Pop and R&B genres -- I don’t really need to tell you who Prince is, do I? Luckily, he left behind a morethan-capable successor in the form of Janelle Monae, who wields the same instrumental creativity, otherworldliness and androgyny that the Purple One once radiated. She not only walks the walk but talks the talk like nobody else. Prince himself actually helped suss out this album whilst it was in its incubatory state – which you can hear in the spookily recognisable guitar riff featured in the blockbuster single ‘Make Me Feel’, the crisp dance epicentre and starter of a blaze of online rumours concerning the singer’s orientation and possible affair with actor Tessa Thompson that could only be quietened by the latest stupid thing the President’s tweeted now. There are a lot signature creative flourishes across this album; cameos from Brian Wilson and Pharrell Williams, and ‘Pynk’, which turned out to be a conceptual reinterpretation of Aerosmith’s Pink. Both songs are actually about vaginas, in case you don’t pick that up on the first listen. When she first came to critical attention, Monae had started out in her ventures using this amazing overarching afrofuturist concept in her albums. For this round, the Metropolis Suites seem to have been tapped out in favour of something equally cyberpunk but entirely without her character Cindi Mayweather. Hence, this is unquestionably her ‘pop’ release, a Metropolis-Suite-Lite, an introductory primer to her back catalogue. Keep in mind that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless, like me, you really liked the concept you were expecting. But what we might want out of her music isn’t important; Monae’s stopped singing about android singularities and started flaunting her abundant sexuality because she WANTS to. Monae wants to perform songs about love, equality, empowerment, and nuts the people who wanted her to stay entirely androgynous and robotic. She’s gonna make radio music, she’s gonna rap for some of it, she’s gonnaTUFF do Prince, and she’s NOT gonna do it on your time. She is gonna go KING – THE OTHER ahead and be herself as much as she can possibly be – and it’s gonna sound brilliant.

LEON BRIDGES GOOD THING This wholesome southern boy’s debut album Coming Home was gooey and warm in that way audiophiles say vinyl sounds in comparison to soulless mp3s. He really seems to be one of those guys who was born in the wrong era – not in the way that tweens type in the YouTube comments that Nirvana is “THE BEST BAND EVARRR!!!!!1” even though they’ve only listened to that one ‘Best Of’ compilation, but in how he actually sounds like he would’ve thrived in the 60’s, when proper R&B and Soul were at their archetypal heights. Bridges’ newest album takes advantage of a much more lavish soundscape and a subsequent contemporary sound thanks to Meagan Trainor’s producer, which, while still satisfactory, might just miss the mark for listeners who’ll miss Coming Home’s minimalist soul sheen.

POST ANIMAL WHEN I THINK OF YOU IN A CASTLE And now the part of the column where I recommend a psych-rock album. I listen to a lot of it, fight me. Something interesting about this lot, tho – one of it’s former members, who left due to tour constraints, was Joe Keery. That’s right, everyone’s favourite bequiffed babysitter from the acclaimed Netflix original series Stanger Things played guitar for this psych-rock group. Almost immediately, I regret bringing up this fact. A band should be listened to for its sound, not that a celebrity happened to be in it once. And these guys deserve a genuine listen, since what they’ve made for their latest release sounds decent, like if Tame Impala was playing house parties.

Reviews by Lewis Hoban

THE RDU

DZ DEATHRAYS with BEST BETS WED 23RD MAY

RDU presents MARLON WILLIAMS WED 23RD MAY

Location: Blue Smoke

Location: The Foundry

Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

Tickets: Ticketmaster.co.nz

THE UPBEATS & TRUTH

WAX CHATTELS

SAT 26

SEP

Location: Winnie Bagoes city Tickets: Cosmicticketing.co.nz

BACK TO THE 80s FRI 1ST JUN Location: Darkroom Tickets: Free entry

SAT 26 th MAY Location: Darkroom

Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA WED 5TH SEP

Location: The Foundry Tickets: Live Nation

foundry events tuesday the quiz

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WEDNESDAY clubs events

each WEDNESDAY during term is clubs night. contact YOUR CLUBS CO-ORDINATOR to book your club space!

tHURSDAY mono

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FRIDAY fresh friday

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THE foundry BAR OPEN : Tuesday - Saturday from 2pm - late

tar wars has literally been at the centre of SciFi Cinematic history since 1977 when A New Hope was released. Therefore, as the multiBillion dollar industry it is, of course it needs to keep making more money. Solo: A Star Wars movie is set to be released on the 23rd of May which has left me and many others simply asking, Why?? … Rogue One 2016, I can understand in some way because reminds us that there are other people sacrificing themselves other than the Skywalker family. However, Solo just seems like a soulless cash grab, pulling at the heart and wallet strings of many. Anyway, here are just 5 theories where if they don’t happen, I for one am going to surprised. . . there’s only so much that can happen that we don’t already know about or can at least expect.

It’s no secret that Chewie is Han’s number one, however, if anything good comes from this story, it’ll most likely include the first encounter of these two life long friends. Kessel was a slave-run mining planet which traded in spices, of which Wookies were captured and made to work in. This was where Chewie was when Han came bustling through. It’s thought that the Empire was using the slave trade to make money in order to pay for the Death Star. In this case, Han (whilst working for the Empire) found out about the slave trade and possibly decided to mix it up, which led him to meeting Chewie, making the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs, and then being dishonourably discharged from the Empire. This is more than just a theory though, because we already know that most of this has happened we just don’t have all the pieces of the How and Why, which is something we can expect to see from this film.

The Millennium Falcon is such an infamous heap of Garbage that it’s rise to fame NEEDS to be addressed in this film. There’s so much back story from the original trilogy that has left fans wondering for years, particularly the whole ‘The Ship’s level of consciousness?’. Yes, that’s right. The ship is thought to have a consciousness on the same level as other droids like C3PO and R2-D2. If this back story is going to be explained, now would be the time to go ahead. Regardless of this theory though, if the ship has the potential to make choices and strategies, it only makes the Kessel run that much more frightening. If anyone was going to work well with such a daring ship, it only makes sense for it to be Han Solo. Maybe we’ll find out just why Han and his Falcon are such a good team.

This is very likely, but also incredibly cool because we haven’t seen Darth Vader in the flesh since the VERY end of Episode III where Anakin Skywalker, no limbs and all, is placed in the iconic and menacing suit. That’s it. Before that was even earlier in ’83 when he lifts off his helmet to die. I guess also to see his son, Luke, but I think he just wanted to make a statement of his death. Seeing Darth Vader as Darth Vader would be entirely amazing. However, as this is the Solo story, I can’t expect much of him. I mean, Daddy Darth probably has other more evil things to get up to.

Okay, so this one is a little far fetched, but it’s something that is so possible that it just has to happen. Maz is a relatively new character with her first appearance in the Force Awakens 2015 where she leads Rey into finding Luke’s Lightsaber and ultimately leads to finding Luke himself. With this coincidence in mind, it’s not unjust to think that maybe she has a bigger role in the SWCU altogether. After all, how did she come to have the lightsaber? How did she meet Han? Why is she so cute and loveable? Many important questions at hand. But none compares to the one and only question - when will we find out? Maz has more to give and play in the Star Wars Storyline, and I’m here to be blessed by it. Every good fantasy story has wise and powerful guide, Yoda was one for Luke, maybe Maz will become one for another character in the not too distant future? She certainly is for me already. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s Rey’s mother? . . . fingers crossed.

Okay, so hear me out. In The Last Jedi 2017, we find out that Rey’s parent’s are in fact, no-bodies, for lack of a better word. Meaning that yes, finally, the Skywalker family actually isn’t the centre of all balance in the universe. However, in the unnecessary creation of a Han Solo movie, perhaps something good and important can come from it. Lets just address the fact that as soon as Han met Rey, he almost instantly accepted her . . . like he knew her or her parents . . . interesting. Would it be reaching to expect a small glimpse of who Rey actually is? maybe. But would it add an extra element of relevance? yes, it would. However, if we’re following suit from Rogue One though, maybe everyone will just die. Here’s to hoping!  By Fisi Belle-Carrasco

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THE F-WORD Hey folks, we’re almost halfway through the year. Anyone else feeling burnout? Burnout is a term that first appeared in the 1970s, coined by American psychologist Herbert Freudenberger. It was used to describe what would often happen to workers in helping professions like doctors or nurses who were overly stressed and felt they had to sacrifice themselves for other people. This resulted in them burning out, or feeling exhausted and unable to cope. The term burnout has expanded to now describe anyone who becomes overly stressed out. What can cause burnout are a stressful lifestyle and/or a stressful work environment. If you feel permanently overworked, constantly under tight deadlines,

TAKE THE TIME Mental health is an issue that has received far more air time recently than we would like it to. In an ideal world we wouldn’t hear a peep about our mental health system. We don’t want to hear about it at all, because it wouldn’t be in the news if it was working well. Mental health, however, is in the news, and it is not working well. Being a pivotal part of its election campaign, the new Government declared it would set up a ministerial enquiry in its first 100 days to look at how to fix our mental health crisis. Now that the dust has mostly settled following the election, mental health appears to be attracting bi-partisan support. Prior to becoming Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern delivered a passionate speech where she

or have problems with your coworkers, you might become burned out over time. You can also become burned out at home, such as if you need to care for a family member such as a child or elderly parent. What are some signs of burnout? Exhaustion—feeling drained, emotionally exhausted, and lacking energy. Alienation—becoming frustrated and cynical, distancing yourself emotionally. Reduced performance—being negative about tasks, listless, and finding it hard to concentrate. Some of these also occur in cases of depression or other mental illness, so it can be difficult for people to distinguish. How is burnout related to feminism? Well, for those who follow the news, it can become exhausting to hear about all of the problems in the world and the response (or lack thereof) to

them. Reading about instances of sexual harassment and assault, racism, and other injustices, and people defending and justifying inappropriate behaviour can be overwhelming and frustrating. For those involved in activist work to attempt to do something about these issues and improve society, they can run out of energy, time, and support and experience feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger, disappointment, and pessimism. Everyone responds to stress and burnout differently and there are a variety of coping methods, ranging from taking a break to seeking help from others. If you’re feeling stressed or burned out, you’re not alone. If you’re a student, remember you can access free support on campus from advisors at Student Care and counselors at the Health Centre.

referred to some troubling stats and her party’s own targets: ‘last year we lost 600 New Zealanders to suicide, that’s just indicative of what’s going on in our mental health system. The target has got to be zero.’ In a radio interview this month, National’s Senior Whip Jami-Lee Ross said of the past governments efforts; ‘we didn’t do enough, early enough.’ Ross also believed that ‘doing more [for mental health] should be unanimously supported across the Parliament.’ Yes, even Mike Hosking temporarily shed his devil horns and exited his perfumed Ferrari to say of a young man who took his life that ‘those are the stories that paint the picture of our mental health system being broken.’ We could of course, talk about how a ministerial enquiry is a great way of spending six million dollars to stall for nine months

without actually doing anything to help people in crisis right now. But we won’t get into that, let’s give the panel the benefit of the doubt. Now, it’s worth pointing out as a quick disclaimer; I don’t know what’s needed to fix our broken mental health system. Nobody does. That’s presumably why it was such a mess in the first place and why the new government are delegating the job of figuring it out to an enquiry panel. The good news is that finally, we are finally having a discussion about mental health as a nation. Take kiwi comedian Mike King for example. He’s undertaking a journey from Bluff to Cape Reinga to contribute to this dialogue. He’s visiting schools on his Suzuki scooter to talk about mental health with kids. His particular message CONT. ON NEXT PAGE.

S N M U L O C AT N A C moc.liamg@rotide.atnac ot nmuloc ruoy timbuS

focuses on the “inner critic” and the self-doubt we can inflict on ourselves. It’s really good stuff. Mental health is a broad and unbelievably complex issue, one that I could never hope to adequately explore within the confines of a low-rent CANTA submission. That said, there is one element to the discussion which is often left out and one I think worth mentioning: creativity. All of us have an artistic streak of some kind. Creativity also goes much further than traditional mediums like painting or drawing. We exercise our creativity in daily activities without noticing such as: cooking, conversing, deciding what to wear, singing (looking at you, Fergie), and dancing sloppily to Mr Brightside at 11.25pm at the Foundry. You are being creative every day without really thinking about it. Indeed, even composing a drunk message to your ex definitely requires the fine stroke of an artist. Endemic among our age group however, is a lack of focussed creative effort, where we actually take the time to focus on imaginative tasks. We use a lot of our rightbrain (the artistic side) without noticing, but being a demographic dominated by social media, and academic and social pressures, we are neglecting quality time spent expressing our creative side. Why does any of that matter though? Well, researchers have shown that creative activities are beneficial to your health. When focussed on a creative task, like writing, making something, sewing, or even decorating your room, your brain releases dopamine which is a natural anti-depressant. For those of you who have tried meditation, focusing on a creative task can

produce a similar effect; your brain empties of external worries and immerses itself in the present moment. It’s a feeling of calm and concentration. This ties into the concept of mindfulness; bringing your attention to experiences occurring in the present moment. Research supports that practicing mindfulness and creativity improves anxiety, coping skills, and enhances quality of life. It’s very easy in today’s deeply interconnected world to let our minds wander to a million places at once. We are constantly attached to the world and need to know what’s going on at any given moment. Times when we truly focus our minds on one thing in the present are increasingly rare. It should come as no surprise that our demographic are so afflicted by anxiety. Creative activities are beneficial because you have to focus completely on a task. It can be guaranteed that if you ever tried to sew a dress while scrolling through your IG feed, you’d end up with a disaster garment that lends an unflattering resemblance to the Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2 (Sorry, Meryl Streep @Oscars 2018). When you set to doing a creative task you step out of dayto-day worries and focus on the present moment to exercise your artistic skills. Doing this frequently enough has a calming effect and can have a long-term impact on wellbeing. Now I am not saying painting fruit or singing ‘I Need a Hero’ will cure depression. Mental illness is a medical problem and as such should be treated medically. If you are suffering from a mental illness then you need to get help, and for goodness sake don’t ever be

embarrassed to ask for help. It’s okay to need a hand. What I am saying however, is that there are some very simple things we can do in our daily lives to improve our overall mental wellbeing. Finding an outlet for your creativity, whether that’s writing a short story or poem in the evening sun, or repainting some ratty old furniture you hate, or cooking a dish you’ve never tried before. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you respect yourself enough to take the time to express your inventiveness and originality. Mental health is a complex issue and we can all agree that our designated system is in a state of disrepair. The politicians, bureaucrats and panel-members will work away on that for a while and hopefully someday the system will be reformed. In the meantime though, we have to make sure we’re looking after ourselves. There’s a woman who works in my office running her own yoga business, and she recently told me an old yogic cliché; ‘You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day - unless you are too busy, then you should sit for an hour.’ I laughed at her, made another coffee and kept writing my article. By Max Farra

C A N TA C O L U M N S Submit your column to canta.editor@gmail.com

JUST LIKE SEX AND THE CITY, BUT WITH A LOT MORE ALCOHOL AND BAD DECISIONS. Just like Sex and The City, but with a lot more alcohol and bad decisions. These stories & word of advice will be 100% true, relatable (and hopefully helpful): the desperate lives of four girls in their 20’s trying to figure out this whole life thing (ok mainly that love life thing). I’m coming straight to the point with todays issue. The classic.. “I don’t want to get attached” or “I don’t feel 100%” Well I guess many of you have heard this from that special guy or gal at least once in your life. But why does this keep happening and when did our generation change? I think everything must have started with phones, messaging and those dating websites. If we think back how our grandparents met, it was a totally different time. They never had complications like: “Why is she/he liking that picture of her/him?” Or “ She/he has seen my message for ages but hasn’t replied yet…” Because all of the new

technology getting into a relationship is way harder and building trust is whole new ordeal because of it. But do we as humans like having more than one person in our life? Or do we only want relationships? The norm for a person in their

20’s is literally having no intention of getting in a relationship but expecting all the things you give or have in a relationship. They want to be friends but tell you they are not ready (yet). The things they expect are inappropriate in terms of

considering it as a “friendship”. They don’t want you to be with someone else, but also don’t want you to claim them. They want you to be loyal, but they want to do whatever they like. They want you to be honest, but it doesn’t matter what they are saying or telling you. If you “catch feelings” after a certain period of time in this “friendship”, they will become distant, because they told you at the beginning of this entire mess that; “I don’t want to get attached”. But when its all over and we think back, those “types of people” never really had the intention of keeping you and in the end it is good that we met them, because they are the ones who are teaching us lessons. We may experience this through our early twenty’s more often than we would like but the point is you’ll be thankful for those kinds of people, because they are the ones who open your eyes and make you realize how vulnerable you are. And there is nothing wrong with either being the one who couldn’t commit or the one who had the intention of more. We all should be able to go through this stage and grow from it eventually. By Selina Hager

S N M U L O C AT N A C moc.liamg@rotide.atnac ot nmuloc ruoy timbuS

DEPT. OF SPIRITUAL ENGINEERING FEELING LONELY? THE LOST ART OF FRIENDSHIP IN THE AGE OF FACEBOOK I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have 1490 friends on Facebook. I probably know 2/3 of them personally, would say hi to about ½  if I walked past them in the street, and would happily hide in a skip to avoid interacting with about 1/20 of them. Hey - even Chaplains aren’t perfect. And all of this constant connection to so many people seems to have helped create a phoneme amongst younger people that surely Mark Zuckerberg never saw coming in his wildest dreams: Mass Loneliness. Not that most of the people I meet who are obviously lonely would call it that.  After all, how can someone with a gazillion Facebook friends claim to feel alone? But lately I’ve started asking people outright “Are you lonely?” And an overwhelming amount of the time, after a long pause, many people answer with a mumble. “Yeah - actually - I think I might be.” Case and point. I had a good friend over for dinner a few weeks back who told me about their flatmate who studies Engineering at Canterbury. “He’s about to finish his degree, and he still doesn’t have a single friend from his 4 years at UC.”

Often the marketing we’re sold of Uni life is one that promises a never ending social buffet of parties, people and pulling power. But in reality, once the first few weeks of excess wear thin, many students find themselves sitting alone studying in their bedrooms, or sitting alone,  surrounded by hundreds of other people who are also alone, studying at a library desk. Sherry Turkle is a Professor in the Social Studies of Science and Technology at MIT (@STurkle), and in 2012 wrote a book called ‘Alone Together - Why we expect more from technology and less from each other.’ In it she notes that “texting offers just the right amount of access, just the right amount of control… texting puts people not too close, not too far, but at just the right distance. The world is now full of people who take comfort in being in touch with a lot of people whom they also keep at bay.”  Ouch. But if you’re anything like me, it actually sums things up pretty accurately. Now don’t get me wrong - I think Facebook is great for remembering family members birthdays, connecting with people I’ve just met, and inflicting Winston Peter’s Memes and Game of Thrones spoilers on the unsuspecting world. But it also has some negative side-effects that we need to get real about. Because we often end up staying home alone, preferring to interact with hundreds of finely crafted public personas of people that don’t really exist, rather than developing meaningful relationships with real, unedited people, that do exist. And if that’s not a recipe for loneliness, I don’t know what is. I’ve filmed a short video on the

concept of ‘Deep Friendship’ here (https://tinyurl.com/deepfriendship) for anyone who wants to go a bit deeper on how we can do friendship better. But I suspect that if lots of UC students were honest, many would say they felt lonely. It’s often harder than they thought to meet people and make friends on campus. And sometimes the thing we need the most is a real life human being to talk too, and to be heard by. That’s why this term we’ve started an experiment called CHAT ROOM. A confidential drop-in space based in the Puaka-James Hight Library – where students can come and have a conversation about anything they choose, with one of our real life expert conversationalists. Our motto is “You talk. We (mostly) Listen.” CHAT ROOM will run over Term 2 from 11am-1pm, Monday – Friday, based in room 300b on level 3 (just up the library stairs, to your right, next to the Academic Skills Centre). Our fantastic team will be on hand to talk about almost anything; the weather, relationship problems, Donald Trump, study stresses, kittens, anxiety issues, gardening, spiritual conundrums, how to make friends, thumbwrestling… it’s really up to you! Our people also offer great advice, and can connect you with other UC services that might help you get “un-stuck” – if you’re feeling a bit lost. If you want to know more – either drop in one weekday and say hi – or drop me (the UC Chaplain) an email on spanky.moore@canterbury.ac.nz.

ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH – PINCHGUT HUT –

inchgut Hut is a track that I recommend for all, whether it be your first tramp, your child’s first overnight hike or a quick getaway from the daily grind.  The track is easy walking leading through forest, following alongside the Okuku river.  Along the way there are plenty of places to stop, take a break and admire the scenery.  Whether it be splashing around in a waterfall, throwing rocks into the river or rock hopping your way along,  the track to Pinchgut Hut provides plenty to experience. Finishing at a cosy hut to top off a day’s walking what more could you want? Being only a stone throw away from Christchurch it’s a hike not to be missed!

529

529 started with an ambition to get out of the everyday grind and mix it up with a bit of adventure.  A way to refresh the brain, awaken the soul and fill the lungs with fresh air. I wanted to defeat the idea that getting into the outdoors requires a long weekend or a holiday. To prove people wrong.  I selected the location of Pinchgut Hut track for my first 529 adventure. The start of the track to Pinchgut Hut is around an hour’s drive from Christchurch. It’s a 10 bunk hut that would provide shelter for the little sleep we were able to get.

THE LOCATION

The road to the start of the track runs through a farm following Taaffes Glen road. It’s well off the beaten track and there isn’t much to show where the track is. The road travelled to access the start of the track crosses a ford which may prove difficult in a town car.  We parked up on the grassy flats, which provided ample room for the car. There are a few spots further down the road but not knowing what lay ahead, we took the first option we saw.

THE JOURNEY

FORESTS AND RIVERS The track begins with a river crossing, which should not be attempted after periods of heavy rain when the river is in swift flow. Richard and I both took our boots

33 off, walking barefoot through the river to save our dry boots and socks. The trail from this point onwards is mellow, and there are no other significant river crossings that will end in wet boots. It is easy to pick up a bit of pace once you get the legs swinging! Starting later in the evening meant the light would poke its way in-between the trees and put on a beautiful show as we wound our way beneath the forest.  It provided a beautiful setting for some nice shots.  The forest provides good shelter from the wind and rain, but tends to be colder as it blocks out more sun. Make sure to carry extra layers to keep yourself nice and toasty. WATERFALLS Along the track there is a waterfall that is well worth a quick stop to fill your water bottle. Perfect spot to give your face a quick wash in the morning of the return journey. BOULDER HOPPING 4.7km into the journey, you need to engage your inner boulder hopping ability to make it around the bend in the Okuku. On the other side we were greeted with a quick cardio session as we climbed up and away from the river. The route stays high as it winds its way round to the valley where Pinchgut stream flows. This part of the track takes on an easier descent; much more smooth and forgiving. With the sun sinking low behind the hills, the challenge of not tripping and stumbling was on. We knew we weren’t far away from Pinchgut Hut once we hit a wider vehicle track. When we arrived, there was no hesitation in pulling out the cooker and heating a billy of water.

FOLLOW NATHAN'S ADVERTURES HERE: ADVENTURESFTSOUTH.COM

THE DESTINATION On this trip I trialled GoNative’s Vegetable Curry packs.  A complete package of food that is able to keep you fuelled for 24 hours. It was simple – put the curry packs in the boiling water and let them heat up. We used the same pot of hot water to cook our rice for a complete meal. They were so convenient and timeefficient, providing an unbeatable taste to satisfy our hunger!

THE RETURN JOURNEY The next morning, we were up well before dawn with 4:30am alarms ringing. We had laid out breakfast the night before, and being the hungry young lads we are, devoured the breakfast muesli with ease. Still being pretty hungry, lunch disappeared, and the remaining snacks were in the pack to fuel our ‘get out of here’ mission. It was frustrating to see how many possums were sitting up in the trees near the track, glaring at us as we hustled back to the car. The experience of walking while the stars were still up, and seeing the sunrise, was an epic way to start the day. We were back in Christchurch by 8:30am, having left the carpark at 7:30am. I was even able to sneak in a shower before my first class that day – success! When the days become longer and the sun shines late in the day, I will be back in the wild completing a more of these adventures. Mission accomplished. By Nathan James

ONE SIDE Just to ensure I conformed to the stereotypical CANTA blind date, I had a couple of beers beforehand and fretted about what to wear. Despite being informed that my date was going to be 10 minutes late, I decided to get there on time anyway. Someone had to get stuck into that bar tab. I was quietly stoked when my date arrived, both because I somewhat knew her so if all else failed we could just talk shit about our mutual friends. Also because she was one attractive wāhine. We spun some yarns about how incredibly small New Zealand is, because despite growing up and studying in different cities, we had a whole lot of mutual friends. Some more common ground was found in sport, and we fruitlessly attempted to figure out why training so hard you almost throw up feels so good. A bit of an odd conversation for a blind date, now I think about it. The Shilling Club closed up shop, but we decided that we should continue the night. The obvious choice was, of course, The Foundry. As soon as I had a jug of Foundry Draft in my hand I was revitalised, and as usual the reliable drop went down a treat. We soon realised that there was actually a quiz on that night, so decided that we’d better get amongst. However, we somehow failed to get hold of an answer sheet, so had to mentally tally up how successful we were. We were going pretty well until we got to the Sex Ed section, which was surprising hard.

Did you know that 80% of women have faked an orgasm at least once? Well I’d actually assumed it was higher, but it wasn’t much of a confidence booster. We gave up on the quiz, and started wandering towards our respective houses. As luck would have it, we ended up back at hers, a flat I was quite familiar with as they were pretty keen on hosting pre drinks for almost any event imaginable. Unfortunately I also knew that the walls were paper thin and the flatmates, while well meaning, were super nosy and almost certain to come and ‘check up on us’. Despite playing an acceptable innings, hitting a few fours and the odd six, it wasn’t to be and I failed to score a ton that night. At the end of the day, code was the real winner, and both teams played well on the day. Congrats to the other side, would be keen for another test match at some stage in the future. Cheers to CANTA for the half-time oranges, and the Shilling Club for providing the spread. Also a big thanks to New Zealand sporting stereotypes for providing the clichés.

THE OTHER SIDE After arriving 15 minutes late, I see my date sitting at a table lonesome, already sipping. We got the awkward hello out of the way, and straight into the wines I went. The usual chat was made; he is from Wellington and yes, we did have friends in common. Dumplings were his choice of food, as was mine. He gave me tips on travel whilst trying to dodge his more than four phone calls. He’s obviously a popular man…although this is one of my pet peeves when on a date. After a while the place started to close up, so we thought heading to The Foundry on a Wednesday night would be a good idea. I could count the number of people there on one hand. A couple more jugs later, I look up and all of a sudden The Foundry was filling up with what turned out to be some keen quiz fanatics. Through this I found out he knew a little too much about the University and not enough about sex education (such as 80% of

woman having faked an orgasm). Later this would prove not to be true. Walking home he did the typical gentleman move of giving me his jersey and really making sure I knew he ‘doesn’t usually do this’. We got back to my flat, and him already knowing all my flatmates made it a lot less awkward that I initially thought it would be. Being led pretty quickly to my own room I could see where the night was about to go.

A kiss was exchanged although hindered by his dirty mo. Followed by what some would call ‘blue balls’. I should probably apologise for the night not ending on a bang. Maybe next time? Thanks so much to my date, for the chat, and thanks to CANTA for providing the much needed food and alcohol.

THE WAITER’S OPINION I felt like this date was a little too natural for these two, as if they had met before or maybe the pair of them are pros when it comes to first impressions and meeting new people. OR simply that this date was just a perfect match and it was meant to be . But I was kinda getting the -I’m here for a good time, not a long time - kinda vibes from both of them. I’d hate to be doubtful but I would be very surprised if this turned into a long term thing. Only my opinion though I could be completely wrong - Ayden

HAPPY ENDING 420 THOUGHT

C O LO U R M E I N

IF PROFESSOR X COULD MOVE EVERYTHING WITH HIS

H O R O S C O P E S F O R 21 M AY

MIND, WHY DIDN’T HE JUST MOVE HIS LEGS?

“Avoid outdoing your superior. All triumphs are despised, and triumphing over your superior is either stupid or fatal.” Baltasar Gracian. Not an astrologer, but he did have a cool name.

T H E Y     KNOW

Uranus is in prolapse, so be gentle with those you love this week.

If you were ever going to do it, now’s the time to enter into a covenant with God and get the chop.

Cancers are good at stability and foundation, but that doesn’t mean you understand the foundations of essay writing. Maybe get a flatmate to read this one over?

It is common practice for Russian spies to only accept unopened drinks. It is recommended you do likewise this week.

Pluto is in your house; treat figures of authority with open suspicion. Trust us.

‘Stranger Danger’ takes on new meaning this week. Wait in readiness... watch out for Carols and Kevins.

Tee hee.

You’ll read a lot of conflicting horoscopes over the coming weeks from so called ‘experts’. Be steadfast and not confused. They’re all fake except this one.

Red meat and caffeine promote the development of kidney stones. Mars’ proximity to Earth during this time will be a welcome help to pass those nasties.

When something smells fishy this week, it’s probably [REDACTED].

You did the wrong thing.

ENTRÉ INTRODUCING BUILD A BURGER CHALLENGE!!!

For the first time ever entré is launching their own Build a Burger challenge!  This is your chance to enter your very own burger creation and win yourself a spot on Bacon Brothers menu. As the winner you also score $100 cash and a free round of burgers for yourself and 10 mates! What more could you want?! Entré was Inspired by how the team at bacon brothers used the concept of a burger to create a successful business that is constantly pushing the boundaries of what we call “fast food.” Through this challenge, we want to show all students that entrepreneurship is not just about making new creations, but about making good things in the world even better. – Entries open: 7th May. Close: 17th May. – Build a Burger Great Cook Off: evening of 23rd May. – UNLIMITED ENTRIES || TEAM OR INDIVIDUAL ENTRY – APPLY AT: WWW.ENTRE.CO.NZ

85K START UP CHALLENGE!!! The $85K Start-Up Challenge is our premier competition in which $85K worth of prizes are up for grabs. Entrants go through the process of developing a business idea, whether it be a product or service, for-profit or a charity, and receive business world experience as well as invaluable guidance and mentoring from industry professionals. The $85k competition is for everyone and anyone. No matter what you study or how much experience you have in entrepreneurship, this competition will help you develop your personal and professional skills in more ways than you can imagine! You will meet likeminded students, inspiring business professionals, knowledgeable mentors and be supported by our awesome entré executive team. – INFORMATION SESSION: 14TH May Undercroft 101 1.30-2.30pm. Food provided. – Applications open: 14th of May. Close: 1st June – APPLY AT: WWW.ENTRE.CO.NZ

YHA 101

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