CANTA #10 2019

Issue #10

September 9th, 2019 Rahina, te iwa o Mahuru

Editorial Dear kiddos, Putting together ‘CANTA Does Drugs’ has sure been a trip. I was tempted to shelve this issue for some time, but I got the feeling you guys were pinging to give it a read. And so here it is. Within its papers you’ll find stories of fellow student’s drug taking experiences. You can read about the history of marijuana and MDMA. You can learn about the importance of drug testing and staying safe.

Looking back on my health education classes in high school, the only thing I can really remember learning about (aside from how to put a condom on a banana), is that taking drugs is bad and very illegal. I recall having to match the names of different drugs with the type of illegal ‘Class’ they fit under. Now in university, it’s amazing to think how little of that matters...it’s almost like being transported back to the free, flower-power 60’s and 70s, where drug use was blooming.

At the end of the day I think the most important thing to remember is to stay safe out there, and boogie hard, but also that you don’t need drugs to be happy. Look after yourself and each other, keep the love flowing and let the good times roll.

Peace out and love, Samantha

Presidents piece - CANTA Term 4, #10 Hey there, Welcome to the Canta Does Drugs issue! We know this is an important topic and one that is gaining increasing awareness, so I'm going to fill you in on the UCSA's position towards to recreational drug use below.

While the UCSA doesn’t support the consumption of any illegal substance, we also know recreational drug use is increasing common today. We want us all to stay safe and reducing harm associated with recreational drugs involves helping our students make informed decisions about the substances they’re taking.

Evidence shows us that drug testing at events like festivals changes behaviours and can actually reduce drug consumption. NZ Drug Foundation stats found that 58% of those who had pills tested at festivals in 2017/18 chose not to take a tested drug when it was discovered to not be what they thought it was.

This year we’ve been receiving advice from the NZ Drug Foundation and also have been discussing drug testing options with UC, which includes partnering with Know Your Stuff for our main festival events such as O-Week and/or Tea Party.

We’ll have an update for you soon but in the meantime feel free to drop a line to UCSA Equity & Wellbeing representative Jack Whittam atstudentwellbeing@ucsa.org.nz for any feedback or questions you’ve got.

Cheers, Sam Brosnahan President

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Letters to the Editor

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Creative Highlight

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News

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For and Against - Should we legalize all drugs?

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A brief history of drugs

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Why we should consider legalizing all drugs

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Advocacy & Welfare team

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Columns

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Club promoter

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Flat Famous - The local flat

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broken news

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a few notes

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Your Weekly Adventure Series

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Lucky Dip

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Happy Ending

Sam Mythen Conor Jones Ben O'Connell Liam Donnelly Liam Stretch Talisker Scott Hunter Samuel Bull Robert Brownlee Grace Hamilton Harry FR Robson

Spanky Moore Abby Robertson Kane Bassett Lewis Hoban Ella Somers Henry Foubister Java Katzur Megan Nellis Bianca Parshotam Ricky Townsend

Pim van Duin Archer McLeay Nic Wilson Sarah Eynon Elisabeth Minten Crosby Allen-Jennings Seth Murray Nick Kennedy

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Letters to the Editor Letter of the Week

Rhythm & University

Dear CANTA

Hey Ed – why did the RDU gig guide in the last issue not advertise the RDU gig happening at UC…? I’m confused…

I’ve been pondering in my head recently why the UCSA is democratic, have we tried any other forms of governance? This whole ‘elect the UCSA exec’ thing causes so much conflict. If we used a form of governance in the UCSA that gave students less choice, maybe we’d put aside our differences more and not argue as much.

What about a good UCSA communist regime? One food option on campus, zero elections, and a hugely intimidating presidential figure. Once they’re bored of being president, they just hand power over to someone else on exec – ya know, so the presidential apple doesn’t fall too far from the presidential tree.

Or just a full on totalitarian UCSA dictatorship! A president for life, who just appoints whomever they like if they get bored being president. They take our student levy money and give us nothing in return. No food services, no health centre, no elections, and a direct deposit of student levy funds straight into the UCSA Overlord’s bank account. Maybe if we were promised nothing, we’d expect nothing.

Sincerely, A lover of RDU…and Fairbrother (Crown remix for the win!)

Wait, they have gigs at uni?

Thanks, CANTA

Thanks Food for thought.

Dear Food for thought Thanks for writing in, this has definitely got the brain juices pumping.

This certainly wouldn’t be easy to do, so well done to anyone who does manage to get it done in the future!

But wouldn’t you miss the spirit of elections? The complete non-issues suddenly becoming the do-or-die of student life? The student who wildly overestimated their own popularity? All the Christians trying to appear relatable? Or at least the ugly picket signs? Elections are imperative to student life.

Plus without elections, the lack of people complaining on UCSA Noticeboard would make it drier than a nun’s downstairs.

Thanks, CANTA

A MINIMUM OF 10% OFF ALL STORE OFFERINGS AT BUSH INN CENTRE, FOR ALL STUDENTS AND STAFF. Produce your university ID to obtain the discounts

late

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Creative Highlight Canned (Feat. Jackie. E) By: Alexander Keith Powell Fate accepted Solution Ingested Festivities start Familiar theme song pulses the dark Excitement turns audible through faded cotton The sleep codes forgotten back home A basement in silence minus the time stamps Artificial blue Spotlights on struggles Impermanence looms As the dawning of night lights above conjure rest Down below overused It’s okay they’re immune (for now) The bull has been fed The heart feels red Natural rhythms bottled and canned.

Would you like your poetry or creative writing to be featured here?

Send your work into editor@canta.co.nz

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NEWS

UC Pests, I See Pigeons On the roof of Locke (one of the decrepit buildings the University keeps its Arts faculty in) there are six cages of pigeons. Across the three or four weeks that I’ve been checking the cages, the number of birds and the amount of food in the cages varies – it appears that they’re filling up and being emptied. I emailed the manager of Campus Services, Michael Oliver, to see what the deal was.

Michael Oliver replied, assuring me that “it’s nothing sinister its part of UCs Pidgeon control program” (sic). He also told me that the “cages are set by a licensed pest control company as approved by the SPCA”. And on the surface, that’s a valid assurance: if pigeons are a problem that need to be dealt with, at least they are being dealt with in a presumably humane way that is ideally approved by the SPCA. Except that the cages are not SPCA approved: after reaching out to the SPCA they confirmed that the “SPCA has not approved any cages for the trapping of pigeons.” So, I declared this my own wee Watergate (‘it’s not the crime, it’s the cover up’) and decided to find out what is actually happening to the pigeons.

To get started, I reached out to Professor Phillip Armstrong, CoDirector of the New Zealand Centre for Human-Animal Studies.

He offered a lot of hot takes on the history of pigeon control at UC (shooting, poisoning, that one time they trained a falcon to scare the pigeons away and it ended up getting scared away by seagulls) and the clear, definite declaration that “as an institution supposedly dedicated to research and the creation of new knowledge, it seems disgraceful to me that we can't think of a way of living in our environment that doesn't involve poison, guns and a lot of misinformation.” That’s what Oprah Winfrey calls a tweetable moment. He also suggested I check out the Pest Management page on the staff intranet: it lists three objectives: good housekeeping, regular monitoring and targeted treatment. The first two are explained in more detail, the third is left mysteriously blank. ‘Targeted treatment’ is clearly code for something, and I was gonna have to return to Michael Oliver to find out.

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Turns out, the company the university hires is called A Better Kill – subtlety is clearly not a strong point. Michael had no idea that cages were not approved by the SPCA and suggested I check with the company themselves, and here’s where things get icky. My call was answered by Mark, presumably in charge, and he was more than happy to fill me in on what happens at UC. There are cages, yes, and when asked if the pigeons were relocated, he replied in no uncertain terms: “The pigeons are all put down”. For a human-animal studies student and an only-when-sober vegetarian this is rough news to hear, but I imagine for most people that that’s the ballgame. What is not the ballgame, is that sometimes the pigeons die in the cages: when it’s frosty or wet, the company can’t get out to empty the cages,

so the pigeons are left outside and regularly die of exposure. Needless to say, this is not an SPCA approved process. Also, Mark told me that they regularly leave a male pigeon in the cage, as it attracts other pigeons in. In an email to me, the SPCA said that it “opposes the use of traps which use live decoys (also known as judas traps) because of the potential injury and distressed caused to the confined animal.”

However, on their website, A Better Kill writes “Our bird catching products are approved by SPCA”. That’s just straight up lying, team.

Mark told me that the company had reached out to the SPCA seeking endorsement, however, the SPCA has confirmed that they did not offer approval.

The University caught wind of this article and wanted to make sure I was ‘accurately representing both sides of the story’ so they arranged a meeting. I met with Mark and Paul (from Facilities Management) to make sure I was getting the full story on the pigeon. They came prepared: pictures of swarms of pigeons, a list of pigeon-related health risks, a big photo of a huge and spacious cage and a small photo of the cramped and tiny cages that the pigeons were being kept in.

They explained that their procedure was SPCA approved – even if the cages aren’t (the SPCA can’t approve cages because who knows what people might do with them). However, the procedure of retaining a pigeon in the cages to lure others in is not only not approved by the SPCA, they’re opposed to it – see above.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a statement from a pigeon representative – although I’m sure they’d suggest that humans are huge health risks to pigeons: possible side effects of human infestations include being shot to death, hunted by trained birds of prey, caught in a cage, gassed to death or trapped on a roof and left to die in the rain. Since the pigeons were unavailable for comment, I returned to the next best option: Phillip Armstrong. He offered: “I like being part of a multi-species ecosystem, and whether we like it or not, pigeons are part of this one. Personally, it makes me happy to see them standing on my window-ledge gazing in at me, or hear them cooing outside.”

If the university has to kill pigeons, then that’s their prerogative. Sure, they’re a pest, but also let’s take time to problematize the construct of ‘pest’. We are a harm and hassle to them as much as they are to us. So perhaps the university isn’t lying to me, perhaps they’d just got their wires crossed and I’m a raging Greenie out for the establishment’s blood. But a company that the University hires is misleading its customers and killing birds in unsafe and unacceptable ways. I don’t think that it’s unfair to expect better. If they have to be killed, then it should be in a humane way – that is the least we can hope for.

Sean Lydiard

NEWS

The Christchurch Basilica, a building “generally held to be the finest renaissance-style building in New Zealand” is to be completely demolished, according to Bishop Paul Martin.

Heritage advocates were dismayed by the decision as Bishop Barry Jones, who died of a heart attack suddenly in 2016, originally opted for a partial restoration of the Basilica for a cost of $45M NZD. The planned restoration would focus on the largely undamaged nave, which served as the architectural magnum opus of the Basilica.

Heritage advocates vowed to challenge the decision in court, however, there is no indication the diocese breached the proper processes or protocols of the law from which they derive the authority to demolish the Basilica (a section 38 notice under the Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Act 2011). This would make the legal case unusually difficult for Heritage advocates because a New Zealand court cannot invalidate a law made by Parliament. Christchurch Regeneration Minister Megan Woods has stated her office does not possess the authority to overrule the diocese’s decision. Although that does not necessarily mean that no part/office of the Executive can intervene at all.

Of note, Bishop Martin cited financial concerns over the purported $149M NZD pricetag to fully rebuild the Basilica. This may come across as a tad disingenuous to some members of the community.

One of the primary missions of the Vatican has historically been to raise money in order to support their dioceses and parishes abroad. One wonders whether or not this mission is being fulfilled in Christchurch.

When taking into account the net worth (which have been notoriously difficult to calculate owing to the Catholic Church’s tradition of fervent

secrecy) of Catholic institutions overseas, the $149M NZD price tag seems to pale in comparison. According to ABC News (February 2018), the Australian Catholic Church alone is worth at least $30B AUD. Time reported that “[the Vatican’s] Italian stockholdings alone run to $1.6 billion [USD], 15% of the value of listed shares on the Italian market [and it] has big investments in banking, insurance, chemicals, steel, construction, real estate.” In godzone, as of June 2017, the Christchurch diocese’s total equity was $239.5M NZD. The Catholic Diocese of Auckland is reputed to own a number of properties totalling $590.5M NZD (Stuff July 2018).

For Heritage advocates, the demolition of the Basilica is part of a broader pattern of a disturbing level of cultural loss. As of February 2015, there had been 1240 heritage buildings demolished with 292 buildings restored since the September 2010 Earthquake. Fears have been raised that with Christchurch’s rapid purge of heritage buildings, a vital touchstone to the past has been lost, thereby irreparably mutilating the historic ambience and culture of Christchurch which gave it unique depth and sophistication. Indeed, with many land developers choosing to build highly profitable, glitzy new buildings, Christchurchians, in decades to come, may find themselves in a city sanitised by heartless, dated fad architecture, with a fundamental lost sense of identity and pride for what made Christchurch actually different.

“Culture survives in smaller spaces - not in the history books that erect monuments to the nation's grand history but in cafes and cinema houses, village squares, and half-forgotten libraries.” ~ Amitava Kumar

By Harry FR Robson

Patrick Gower, one of New Zealand’s most loveable, raw and real journalists, has recently produced a documentary exploring the pros and cons of legalising weed. To create The High Road, Paddy travelled around the world, exploring places where marijuana has been legalised for both recreational and medicinal use. In a recent interview with the Aotearoa Student Press Association, Paddy shared some of his final thoughts on this journey. In being asked why Paddy wanted to create this documentary, he noted it was important to inform people in light of the upcoming referendum next year on legalising marijuana. Furthermore, he noted “you know weed is part of kiwi life right...when I was at uni, you know we’d get on the bongs every flat you went too...you know we’d be doing Bucky bongs, Friday, Saturday nights...It’s here, right? People are using it for fun, for medicine. It’s part of us. But it’s illegal.” His documentary is about bringing something we’ve been hiding and shutting away, out into the open. He wants to educate people, especially on the “medical powers of the plant,” so we can have positive and productive conversations about something most students hide away in their desk drawers.

Look out for Patrick Gower: The High Road, released on New Zealand TV this September.

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Test Your Stuff:

Is It A Good Idea?

If you’re reading this, you know who you are.

It was a sunny afternoon at Electric Ave this year. I was waiting in the water line. Then the guy in front of me turns around, speedy glasses askew.

“Beep-beep-beep-bop. Beep-bop.” He said to me, before turning around and walking off, skipping his turn to get some water. Shit, I thought. He’s on some stuff. What stuff, I had no idea, although I could make a rough guess. But here’s the thing: did he know exactly what he was taking?

This year, the Otago University Student’s Association (OUSA) became the first student association in New Zealand to offer free drug-testing, in collaboration with Know Your Stuff NZ and the New Zealand Drug Foundation. During O-Week, students could anonymously provide a small sample of the drug they intended to take to Know Your Stuff. The sample was then tested to confirm it was the drug they thought it was.

For example, if the sample was thought to be MDMA and this was indicated through testing, the anonymous provider would then be informed, along with a brief rundown on potential side-effects of taking the drug.

After that, they could go on their way, safari shirts blowing in the wind, and decide what to do with the rest of their sample. Sounds easy? Unfortunately, it’s not.

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Know Your Stuff is a not-for-profit organisation that operates within the law, but in their words, it’s a legal grey area.

The Misuse of Drugs Amendment Act 2019, which came into effect on the 13th of August, recently changed some of the laws around drug use. Notably, the Police can now use their discretion in prosecuting someone in possession of a drug. If it’s in the public interest, they can refer the person in possession to health services, instead of handing out an instant charge.

Unfortunately, there were areas where the reforms fell short. The laws that relate to drug testing at festivals lack clarity, and they haven’t been updated since the Act came into force in 1975. Section 12 makes it illegal for festival or event organisers to permit the use

of illicit substances on any premises. This creates issues for organisations like Know Your Stuff and for the event organisers, because the grey area is whether permitting drug testing is the same as permitting the use of illicit substances under section 12.

It’s a high risk for event organisers to take, because if it is a breach, they face up to ten years in prison. So far, the only way around it has been for Know Your Stuff to appear at events, unadvertised, and for their services to be mentioned word-of-mouth by festival goers. This limits their ability to offer their services. Another issue is around the literal handling of the drug sample, which Know Your Stuff is unable to do, due to the laws around possession under the Act. The anonymous provider must do the testing under Know Your Stuff’s supervision and the sample is destroyed immediately. The problem with this is that Know Your Stuff is unable to extensively analyse the samples and produce research around what has been provided, which could be really useful in educating would-be users on what’s out there. This research could help identify and warn about the harmful ingredients on the drug market. There’s a lot of tricky legal navigation in bringing drug-testing to events.

Of course, there’s the other side of the drugtesting debate to be considered. Is it a good idea to have testing for illegal substances in the first place? Arguably, allowing anonymous testers to leave with the rest of their sample is permitting their drug use, despite that it is breaking the law. At the very least, it’s accepting that the drug use will happen. Police Minister Stuart Nash has said that he’d like for drug-testing to be at all festivals. Notably, Otago University said that they did not approve the introduction of drug testing or the use of drugs, yet they chose not to intervene with the OUSA’s initiative, as it did not take place on university land. It was a decision that characterises the grey area that the ongoing debate exists in – it’s difficult to approve of any initiative relating to illegal substances, but the goal of drug-testing is harm prevention. Know Your Stuff NZ has produced research to show that as opposed

to condoning drug use, they reduce harm as their services can change the minds of people who have already decided to take drugs. At the very least, their services are a method of quality control that offers more information to would-be users.

It’s also been suggested that the unwanted ingredients in some drugs are part of the risk that consumers take. If people want to take something illegal, they risk getting bad stuff. Some of these bad ingredients found by Know Your Stuff in the 2018/2019 festival season include pesticides, bath salts, or N-Ethylpentylone, which saw thirteen people hospitalised in New Zealand in 2018.

A 20 year-old died on New Year’s Day from drug use at an Australian Festival. The Drug Foundation reports that between 6065 deaths since mid-2017 have been linked to synthetic drug use. So yes, taking illicit drugs is definitely a risk, but suggesting bad ingredients are part of the risk is a hard approach to take. Know Your Stuff reports on their website that during the 2018/2019 season, 62% of participants said that they would not take their substances after the results indicated that it was not the substance that they initially thought it was. That’s a reduction in drug use and in hospitalisations or potential death.

Consumers testing stuff is a good step towards harm prevention, although even if the results show that the sample is what it’s supposed to be, it still doesn’t make drug use risk-free. It’s a personal and an illegal choice. The UCSA is reportedly considering the introduction of drug-testing at events in 2020, which will allow those who do make that choice to check what they have, which will go a long way to stopping consumers from potentially ingesting harmful ingredients. If drug-testing can stop someone from dying or educate people about what they’re taking, it’s a good idea. And beep-bop guy? I hope you’re doing good.

Erin Ramsay

“Stay away from drugs, yeah?”

I’m sure you’ve heard that in one way or another, but you look around and it seems everyone and their uncles are having a cheeky bump of ket on the weekends. So where do you draw the line? As many of us are entering adulthood we’re presented with an opportunity, one to experiment and find ourselves without the overwatch of those before us. In this exciting time, some may be inclined to try some nice mind-altering substances to help expand their perspective. I know I sure was! For those with a clean nose I just want to get one thing out of the way...Most drugs? Overrated. Don’t get me wrong, drugs are sensational - you’re hacking your brain chemistry for great stimulation - but it's not all pixies and fairies.

Now, a big problem with recreational drug use is the uncertainty of the supply chain. It’s hard to tell that what you got is really what you were told. Your dealer is told something by their supplier, who is told something by their supplier and by the time it gets to you it’s just a messy game of whispers. There’s been a few times I’ve heard someone say: “Oi nah bro, purest stuff you’ll get in town.” Just to watch them peak out for 4 hours

followed by a 10 hour comedown because they’ve had a cathinone (bath salts) instead of MDMA. How to solve this problem? Get a test kit, they’re cheap, they last a long time and you get to know really what you’re putting in yourself.

Okay, now that we know what we have, how do we take it? This one is tricky, as not everyone will react the same way to a substance as others. To keep safe, it’s best to do as much research as you can into the drug, instead of trying to chase an idea that someone put in your head as they rate it as “the best, man.” It's good to get all the facts when doing your research, but also look into different people's experiences so you can get an idea of the range of effects a substance could have. This is especially important for if you mix your medicines! Not knowing about interactions between different drugs is a matter of life and death.

Know your substance, know your dose and know yourself.

Sesh Daddy

Point / Counterpoint

“We Should Legalize All Drugs” Against - Robert Brownlee Have you ever seen a lion take antihistamines? Do fish use asthma inhalers? Does a wolf require fibre supplements? Why no, I think not! Never! Nature worked for millennia to cull weakness from the population, only the healthiest individuals thrive. A never-ending cycle of birth and death, evolutionary forces have shaped wild animals to be strong and healthy.

Humans have lost this. We gave away mother nature and coddled ourselves with the soft luxuries of anti-biotics and Ventolin. In our natural state we humans can experience all manner of emotional being. The peacefulness of waking at sunrise might be followed by the fear of death in the afternoon, and in these natural rhythms we live in the moment.

The original Sudafed may be the bee’s knees when it comes to clearing out the sinuses, but it’s a double whammy when it comes to holding back the species.

On the one hand, it allows the Rhinovirus to spread, on the other it allows us to live in places we shouldn’t. This a pill shaped promise of wellness must go.

Sudafed may make you feel better, but it doesn’t make you less contagious.

Who cares about meth heads. Sick people take Sudafed then go out into the world, spreading the virus on doorknobs and keyboards and student magazines; infecting healthy people with their snotty

When the topic of drugs comes up, many jump straight to the wrong place. Marijuana, MDMA, acid, and other generic drugs instantly float into the average person’s mind. But there’s a far more functional substance many of us could benefit from this cold season: Sudafed. Back in the day this workhorse provided the suffering masses relief from their colds, sinus congestion and other various allergies. Unlike that diluted Panadol shit we knock back these days, Sudafed was a ballsto-the-wall kick in the head for your cold. The kind of stuff that actually cures you in an instant. As the cold bite of winter continues to consume Christchurch, we can all think back to times in the past few months a cheeky Sudafed could have relieved what ails us.

Unfortunately the meth heads had to go and ruin this divine nectar for the common people, as Pseudoephedrine (one of the ingredients in Sudafed) is also used to cook meth. The fun-police proceeded to get their hands over it (Thanks, Obama) and now there are restrictions on how much of this beast you can buy over the counter. Legalising all drugs would give us this much needed tool in the war we wage against the common cold.

The other drug to consider here is crack. It’s no secret that

sickness. Stay at home! feel shame for your weakness in private!

Do you know where the common cold isn’t common? Warm places.

Christchurch is too cold, listen to nature and move north.

Now I know my audience here. Uni students are liberal. Most will agree, crack will make you forget about the stress of your daily life. But I beg you, is crack a good option? Aren’t you worth more than crack? Uni is stressful, the constant examinations and partying brings anxiety, but you can’t solve problems with crack. We must solve our lifestyle.

Leave university. Plant potatoes or tubers and sustain yourself on dirt, sunlight and rain. Set traps and hunt animals. Live in the day-to-day of foraging and grubbing in the dirt. With such a life you won’t feel like partying. You won’t crave crack even a little.

Say no to drugs. Embrace the sobriety of mother nature; send our species back to our primal rhythms. Know that in doing so, your descendants will one day be healthy and strong as they run across the planes hunting herds with ropes and sticks in a nomadic pre-bronze age huntergatherer tribe. Don’t even get me started on vaccines.

university is a stressful endeavour for most. Constant pressure to perform academically while maintaining a litany of other commitments can zap all the fun out of life pretty fast. While the prospect of parties and events on the weekend helps to get us through the work week, Friday night would be better with a crack rock or four. Imagine a world where draconian laws restricting our god-given right to ingest crack didn’t exist. That flat party/21st/Mono would have that much more intensity and intrigue. This is desperately needed for an individual to achieve an appropriate work/life balance in what should be the best years of their life.

Detractors often cite the “harm” that comes from smoking crack compulsively. And sure, there can be subtle side effects like muscle spasms, extreme paranoia, seizures and so forth. Ultimately though, choice is what matters. Individuals are in the best position to weigh up benefits and harms that may accrue from a Demi Lovato-esque crack bender, not the government. They don’t know you, your life, and your values. A step towards a world in which all drugs are legal is a step towards the eradication of colds, crack-addled Mono nights and most importantly, freedom.

For - Vikas Shenoy

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Test yo drugs kids!

Drug probation is killing people. For over 40 years, the Misuse of Drugs Act has been law in New Zealand, yet nearly half of our population has used illegal substances at some point in their life. Personally, I can only think of a few friends who have never tried any illicit substances.

Probation is failing, and l think the law needs to change, but until that happens, it is your responsibility to ensure your own safety when using drugs.

One of the most dangerous factors of drug use is adulterated substances. Unlike the alcohol or tobacco industries, the black market is unregulated. In 2018 Know Your Stuff, New Zealand’s leading festival drug testing organisation, found that only 87% of the samples they tested were actually what people thought they were.

That might not sound that bad to some; however, this works out to one in every eight times you or someone you know has railed a phat line of “MDMA” it could have been something completely different. This is why you need to test your drugs before you use them, no matter how much you trust your source, it is not worth losing your life. Seriously, MDMA adulterants can include anything from Meth to Bath Salts or even pesticides.

My friends and I have done some crazy drugs and ended up in some very fucked up situations, and it’s not worth it. So here are some tips on how you can stop yourself from repeating the same mistakes:

- If your event has a drug-testing tent like Know Your Stuff, use it! They have access to technology worth thousands of dollars and are much more reliable than home testing kits. These guys are your safest bet. Your substance will be tested with the necessary reagents, and in most cases, a spectrometer will be used to confirm their results.

- If you do not have access to a testing service, you need to do it yourself. This can be daunting and confusing at first, but it is do-able. Home Testing will involve using reagents to test a small sample of your substance. These reagents can be bought

online from The Hemp Store or DanceSafe and will be the same reagents Know Your Stuff uses.

Each reagent will do at least 50 tests so I would recommend splitting testing kits with your mates. This will not only save you money but save their lives as well!

There are eight regents available, but what you are testing for will determine what kit you’ll need to buy.

Luckily premade kits are available for MDMA, Cocaine, and LSD containing the necessary reagents. If you are testing another substance such as ketamine the website offers a reaction chart to help you decide which reagents would be useful, a quick google search will also do the same. Instructions on how to use the reagents and which substances they test for are shipped with the tests. They are also readily available on the DanceSafe website.

- Cosmic also sells single-use kits for LSD and MDMA, I have never used these and have no idea what is included or what adulterants can be tested for.

- Another critical element in ensuring your safety is supporting harm reduction movements. If you have the money, donate to Know Your Stuff or join SAFE, a UC club dedicated to reducing drug harm on campus. Membership is free and proves to the university that students are in support of improved drug safety. Lastly, we need to push UC to offer substance testing, the Otago University Students Association have been testing substances for students throughout 2019, and its time Canterbury did as well.

WARNING: Home testing is an essential part of staying safe, but unfortunately, these tests can only be used as guides. A negative or positive reaction does not guarantee that a drug is safe.

Stephen Pitts

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We were in town, so drinks were being bought here, there, and everywhere.

I was with people I trusted so I didn’t feel the need to keep tabs on the drinks.

Everyone was drinking everything, so surely someone can’t be drugged. Not in that environment.

Wrong.

I know exactly who drugged me. He was friends with the guy I went out with (who I had had a huge crush on since 2015). (Let’s call the guy I went out with Carl, and the guy who drugged me James). James was acting dodgy all night, but I noticed something was off when he asked me to go to the bathroom with him. By this stage in the night, we were at a gay bar, so I just assumed he was gay and I had no problems in escorting him to the bathroom. It was the point when he got me into the bathroom, locked the door, and pulled down his pants that I knew my judgements about his sexuality were wrong. He asked me to perform certain sexual acts on him, to which I replied “what the fuck, I thought you just wanted a friend whilst you peed.”, his reply; “I thought you wanted to do this”. I did not, and had never expressed any interest in him. I bolted from the bathroom and instantly went over to Carl and told him what happened. Or so that’s what I was told I did. The truth is, as soon as I left that bathroom I remember nothing. Nothing from the rest of the night, and a very blurry week followed.

Two minutes. Two minutes after I left that bathroom with James, I remember nothing. If he had waited literally just two more minutes, he could’ve done whatever he wanted to me in that bathroom, and I would have no recollection in the morning (where would I even have woken up in the morning?).

According to the other people I was with, I was a bit out of it the rest of the night, but they reassured me I was being looked after by Carl. I woke up in Carl’s hotel room (we had discussed early in the night that I was going to go back to his, so waking up there wasn’t too

12

much of a shock, and it was nice to not wake up alone). Apparently, we didn’t get up to much (I have only one snippet of memory), but there’s always that uncertainty when you have no memory. It was lovely in the morning though thank god, he took me out for breakfast at Strawberry Fair and I kissed him goodbye at the airport. At these stages, I hadn’t thought about the fact that I could’ve been drugged the night before.

However, I realised something had gone down the night before because I woke up shaking vigorously, which I later got told by a doctor that it was the drugs trying to get out of my system. I spent the next three weeks shaking.

I still hadn’t thought about the idea that I could have been drugged though, until one of my best friends told me that he had never seen me so wasted and blackout. He suggested that I could’ve been drugged, and being the anxious person that I am, I consulted my girls chat group. They told me to get tested for drugs (which I didn’t even know was an option, so I’m thankful for my girls). The main reason I got tested was so that I could ease my mind, my anxiety was insane, and the shaking hadn’t ceased. When the result came back positive for a common drug used for spiking, I was in shock.

All my friends know my jaded history with drugs, and the psychotic episodes I have had on them which gave me PTSD. After finding out I had been unwillingly drugged, I felt like my life had changed and panic ensued. Knowing that someone had drugged me was a moment that sent me in spirals, left wondering when the trauma and psychosis would come again.

This happened a couple of months ago now. I still shake when I think of it. I now shake whenever I’m anxious because of that ordeal; somehow linked the shaking from the drug exiting my system with my anxiety. I’m thankful that I was one of the lucky ones with two minutes to spare and that nothing seriously bad happened to me, but so many people aren’t lucky. What a lot of people don’t realise is that things like this are all far too common. It’s disgusting.

However, even if a person does not get physically assaulted, the mental repercussions alone are enough to leave lasting trauma.

Kelsey Smith

Treating Depression with Psychedelics We are in a situation where mental health care is broken. New Zealand has some of the highest rates of suicide in the developed world. In 2018, 662 people died by suicide, which translates to more than 12 people every week. This marks the fourth year in a row that this statistic has risen. Suicide has become an epidemic, and while the wellbeing budget is pumping $1.9bn into the mental health sector (cheers, Cindy), throwing money at the problem can only do so much.

Naturally, us folk who struggle with mental illness are searching for something that can talk down our depression while comforting our anxiety, and science is telling us we may have found the answer…

DRUGS!!!

Psychedelics, to be precise. Ahh, yes, those mushrooms that grow in Clyde carpark may be the cure to your depression. You’re probably thinking that tripping out is the last thing anyone with mental health issues should be doing. Actually, you’re all probably students and seasoned professionals in the art of drug use, but if not, let me explain.

Throughout the 1950s, a field of scientific research into the positive effects of psychedelics was growing. Scientists were finding that these drugs could assist with the treatment of addiction, with terminal patients in coming to terms with dying, and…you guessed it, depression and anxiety. It was a promising line of research that was set to revolutionise the way we treat illness, so what happened?

Enter the 1960s, where we see the birth of a counter culture fuelled by free love and LSD, which basically meant a bunch of hippies running around naked and fucking freely thanks to the invention of the contraceptive pill. Sign me up, please! This counter culture, however, caused a moral panic; psychedelics were now blamed for creating this deviant group and naturally people freaked out. Scientists were embarrassed, funding dried up, and research into these beautiful drugs halted for the next 40 years, leaving people to suffer at the hands of their illness with medications which can make them sweaty and sleep deprived and somehow more suicidal (only in the short term though, so I guess that makes it worth it??). But...the research is up and running again, and while we aren’t quite there in making statements about psychedelics as facts, it is safe to say that the evidence is remarkably encouraging. These drugs may be one of the most powerful psychiatric interventions researchers have ever seen.

The way these drugs appear to work is that they bind to your serotonin receptors, where they start a cascade of effects (that’s science language for we don’t really know what’s going on), which eventually is able to down regulate the default mode network. This network is usually very active, particularly when your mind is wandering, worrying or reflecting on yourself. It is, in a sense, the centre of selfreflection; the part of the brain which time travels to the future or the past. Basically, this is where your ego lives, and psychedelics are able to shut that guy up for a little bit. At the same time, other areas of the brain which can usually only communicate through the default mode network begin to talk directly to each other. New connections form, the sense of self evaporates, and for some reason this gives people the ability to gain new insights they may not have been able to when their ego was screaming in the background. While this is temporary, and your ego will be up and running again before you know it, the experience gives us the opportunity to cultivate a way of reaction and interpretation that isn’t caught up in our egotistical ideas. We are introduced to a way to react to life that is more open and less judgemental, and it is thought that the dissolution of our ego is what leads to such positive effects for those struggling with mental illness. Look at it like this: you spend your life in a body, always the centre of your experience, trapped in your own drama and narrative of the world around you. But, if you pay close enough attention, you realise that the experience of self is only an illusion. The concept of ‘you’ as being somehow separate to the world and everyone else no longer exists. Psychedelics seek to take you outside of yourself, to see the world from the perspective of nothing and everything at the same

time. In this sense, they work to set you free.

Let’s go to some statistics. In 2014, a study at John Hopkins University found that 80% of smokers who took part in psychedelic assisted therapy remained smoke free for six months following the trial. In the same vein, smoking cessation trials using the prescription medication Varenicline only had a success rate of 35%.

A 2016 study on cancer-related depression and anxiety found that 83% of participants reported increased well-being in the six months following the trip, with 67% calling it one of the most meaningful experiences of their lives. Of the 1000 doses that have been given out in the re-emergence of this research, there has not been a single adverse event; no psychotic breaks, no attempts to escape, but instead a vast number of positive, life-altering experiences. As Roland Griffiths put it, a top researcher in the field, psychedelics

“can occasion mystical type experiences, having substantial and sustained personal meaning and spiritual significance.”

I’ve had a few psychedelic experiences, some better than others, but a moment I remember particularly was the first time I tried LSD. It was the first day of 2018, and I was lying in the sun staring up at the sky listening to a song called ‘Apolis’ right at the peak of my trip. I saw my whole life through that song being painted in the clouds above me. I felt a loss of fear and a sense of freedom, and in looking at the Sun and the clouds I suddenly knew why people worshipped God. This freeing feeling, this calm that I had never experienced before, felt like God was showing me my life was going to be okay. I should make it clear that I am not religious, but nothing else describes how profound this feeling was for me. That calmness stuck with me for months following my trip; I was free from my usual debilitating depression and I felt better in that period than I ever had since first being diagnosed. About a year later, I took shrooms, and I noticed my ego dissolving in a way it had not while on LSD. I could no longer understand the concept of ‘me’ or how I was somehow separate from the person I was tripping with or the world around me. I felt overwhelming feelings of love and acceptance, and again assurance from the universe that no matter what happened, everything was going to be okay. Again, I noticed my mood significantly improve for the months following the trip. It was a life-changing experience, and one I would recommend to anyone interested.

As a depressed millennial who is, quite frankly, pissed with the way we approach mental health treatment in this country, the new research coming out about psychedelics is the beacon of hope we need. My own experiences have already taught me that tripping can be hugely beneficial to my health, and it’s exciting to see that we may be getting closer to this becoming a proven fact. Of course, if drugs really aren’t for you, there are other ways to achieve the same effect; scientists have found that extremely experienced meditators are able to quiet the default mode network in the same way psychedelics do. Some people also have these experiences through sensory deprivation, fasting, prayer, and breathing exercises. It seems psychedelics may just be a shortcut to get there faster. However, I encourage you all to do some research and figure out if these drugs could be helpful to you. As always, be safe, get a trip-sitter and try to have some fun; you never know what discoveries you might make when ‘you’ no longer exist.

Good luck.

Syaana Amai-Hansen

13

A BRIEF HISTORY OF DRUGS Talisker Scott Hunter

What follows is a brief history of the use of MDMA and Cannabis.

In order to keep this article below 1200 words, I was forced to omit a series of notable drugs including LSD, ketamine, cocaine, and (crucially) alcohol. I selected the below two because I believe they are the two illegal substances you are most likely to encounter at UC.

MDMA/ ecstasy/ gear/ molly It’s 12am, and you’re at a drum-and-bass gig. The main act has come on and you’re cutting your best shapes at the back of the mosh.

Suddenly, a wide-eyed creature with clenched jaw emerges from the mosh and asks you for a high five, extending a sweaty palm.

This person is on gear.

German chemists discovered 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine, or MDMA, in 1912 while developing other medicines that could stop bleeding. In 1914, it was patented by the German pharmaceutical company Merck, who proceeded to shelve the project for several decades.

During the Cold War, the US Army, in concert with the CIA, began the MK-Ultra project - a secret initiative that tested a series of experimental hallucinogenic drugs on human subjects with the intention of identifying substances and procedures which could be used as biological weapons or effective methods of mind control.

MDMA was widely used in experiments between 1953 and 1973.

These tests sought to discover whether the drug could be used to weaken a subject’s mental state and thus render them more susceptible to interrogation. Unfortunately for the CIA, the drug just made individuals enjoy DnB as opposed to reveal state secrets, hence why you can simply buy MDMA by the portaloos at Electric Ave. By the 1970’s, psychotherapists began using MDMA as a means to render their patients more willing to communicate their emotions.

The drug was subsequently labelled “Adam”, as it supposedly reduced people to a more innocent state.

As the 70’s drew to a close, MDMA found its way onto the street, and became a popular hallmark of an emerging rave culture. In 1984, the San Francisco Chronicle named the drug “the yuppie psychedelic”, as it was a supposedly lesser version of LSD. MDMA was outlawed in the United States in 1985, as part of the “War on Drugs.” Psychotherapists objected loudly to the drug’s newfound illegality, testifying that real progress was being made regarding its medical usage. Based on limited research of a different compound (MDA), and nearly no data regarding its use or effects, MDMA was listed as a class B drug and made illegal in New Zealand in 1975. This ensured that the potential legitimate medical uses of the drug were cordoned off, whereas its recreational use soared.

MDMA is a potentially dangerous drug, especially when taken at high doses, and particularly when mixed with other compounds. In 2016, authorities found traces of pesticides in the ecstasy pills of some unfortunate Rhythm and Vines attendees.

Cannabis/ weed/ marijuana/ dope/ ganja Have you ever been ripping cones post-mono and wondered where your habit of inhaling the fumes from that herbaceous dried-up plant came from? The short answer could be any number of places: your retired teacher, your mate from work, or, if times are truly desperate, the hundy house.

But what of the tradition itself? Who rolled the first fattie? Who packed the first cone? Who did the first spot? Where, if anywhere, did Cannabis sativa come from?

The answer, says professor Barney Warf, takes us back twelvethousand years to the Central Asian plateau, in a region that now rests on the border between China, Mongolia, and Russia. Cannabis was among the oldest cultivated crops, likely flourishing atop the nutrient rich soil which covered prehistoric dump sites where neolithic hunter gatherers deposited feces and animal carcasses.

Fast-forward several millennia: marijuana smoking is commonplace amongst East and South Asian aristocrats. It was used as a

psychoactive drug, and was given to many wealthy individuals as a means to relieve pain and stress. Vedic texts from this era (approximately 2000 B.C.) celebrate the herb, which was called bhanja, or ganja, as “the one which releases us from anxiety.”

For one and a half thousand years cannabis was cultivated and used widely throughout the East. in 480 B.C., It came to the attention of the Greek historian Herodotus, who made specific note of its recreational use by the Scythians (one of many nomadic people who roamed the central asian steppe).

As the nations of the world became more interconnected, cannabis was among the first goods to cross borders. Its use in the Middle East precipitated its use in Europe, and as the Roman Empire crumbled, roaming Germanic tribes brought the plant to the Empire’s furthest reaches in Iberia and Britain. Cannabis seeds have also been found amongst the remains of viking ships.

Cannabis officially reach the United States in the early 20th century, brought to North America by Mexican migrants fleeing revolutionary turmoil.

By this time, the plant’s name had already begun to sour.

Cannabis, as some of you may already know, is not conducive to one's sense of motivation, ability to pay attention, or follow orders.

Consequently, the widespread use of cannabis, in many ways, undermined the efforts of nations to enforce an increasing amount of public control over their subjects. Having large sections of your population blazed as small-scale farmers and hunter gatherers was fine, but in order to abide by laws, fight in wars, and build nations, one’s subject’s need to be sharp and on top of their game. For example, Napoleon banned cannabis among his troops in Egypt and Syria, as its widespread use visibly slowed his army’s progress. In 1894, the British Indian government, concerned that the smoking of cannabis was making indentured labour unproductive, restricted its use and sale in the colony.

Racism and prejudice played a key role in the creation of laws that governed the use of cannabis; laws which are still upheld today. For instance, Mexican immigrants who fled to the United States in the early twentieth century were marginalised by a reactionary American press who labelled these Spanish-speaking ‘others’ as individuals whose marijuana smoking caused them to seduce virtuous women and engage in murder sprees. Consequently, American laws regarding the regulation of cannabis grew out of a xenophobic atmosphere, more rank and potent than any bong rip I’ve ever experienced.

In Britain and its colonies, cannabis smoking became associated with those living on society’s margins. By the mid twnetieth century, the use of cannabis in London was traced by local councils to "coloured seamen of the East End and clubs frequented by Negro theatrical performers."

By pairing negative perceptions of minority cultures with the usage of recreational drugs, advocates for the prohibition of cannabis dealt in racist stereotypes in an effort to portray it as source of societal corruption.

Cannabis is still illegal in many parts of the world; it has been illegal in New Zealand since 1975. However, blanket bans based on ethically questionable attitudes of nearly a century ago have done exactly squat to curb its widespread usage. If history tells us anything, it’s that this is unlikely to change. Humanity has been smoking dope since before the pyramids were built.

The history of humanity’s use of illicit substances and the laws that regulate their use is long, sordid, and complex. Inevitably, my personal feelings regarding these laws have seeped through into this article. Therefore, I would encourage you to take this piece with a rail of salt and conduct your own research before deciding to be for or against either substance.

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RADICAL RADICAL OR OR SENSIBLE? SENSIBLE?

Why We Should g n i s i l a g e L r e d i s n Co All Drugs The legal status of cannabis has been the subject of controversy in recent years. Recent pushes have seen the once-vilified drug lose its criminal status and, in some jurisdictions, attain completely legal status. That legal status has led to a reduction in harm and costs, as well as an increase in revenue for governments.

But what about its friends? One of the biggest arguments against cannabis reform has been its supposed status as a ‘gateway’ drug. However bullshit that argument is, it pays to have a discussion about legalising drugs, from ones like LSD and ecstasy to harder ones like cocaine and heroin.

That may seem like a radical proposal, but considering that fifty years and more than $1 trillion spent on a ‘War on Drugs’ has led to no substantial decrease in drug use, but instead high rates of incarceration and lost economic opportunity, perhaps radical is what we need. It’s also not entirely without precedent; Portugal’s decriminalisation (though not legalisation) of low levels of possession has led to no material effect on drug use but has seen a reduction in drug-related HIV rates, drugrelated deaths and an increase in drug treatment. That can provide a basic framework for a legal model. To consider what effect legalisation could have, we’ll look at drugs through the economic lens of supply and demand.

Currently, with supply, the possession and distribution of illicit substances is a criminal offence in New Zealand under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975. That means you’re charged if you’re a seller or user. In the year to 30 June 2019, Police recorded 13,442 illicit drug offences.

Criminalising the supply of drugs has created a black market for the distribution of drugs. That black market has led to the rise of substantial organised criminal activity. Inevitably, the fact that these drugs sit outside of the law leads to drug suppliers having little regard for the law in general. This in turn means they have no issues with being violent and deadly. Drug-related violence is an enormous issue that law enforcement and governments around the world struggle to contend with.

Enforcing the law in this area is also an enormous endeavour. New Zealand Police spend millions of dollars every year in the vain effort of trying to stop this supply. But it’s not like they’re selling any drugs they seize to make up for those costs, nor is the drug supply ever at risk of ending.

A black market of drugs also makes an already-unsafe product more dangerous. When people buy ecstasy, they don’t know its purity: 25%? 100%? And what else is mixed in with that ecstasy? Is

the cocaine someone buys ‘cut with rat poison’ (which is basically mixing actual coke with dangerous shit that can pass as coke)? Those drugs carry substantial risks in their use, but should people who take those risks be subjected to even greater risks from shady production?

Recent efforts to reduce these risks have included pill-testing at festivals and university events.

or shouldn’t be putting into our bodies for health reasons, but to go so far as to criminalise a particular action seems like overreach.

A legal framework for the supply of drugs could go a long way towards reducing these harms. If illicit drugs were available to purchase similar to alcohol (licensing requirements for suppliers and producers) or other prescription drugs (exclusively at pharmacies), then you could control and regulate the supply chain. Imagine if the only place to get such drugs was a pharmacist. The legal option destroys the black market almost overnight and all the negative externalities associated with criminal drug production and supply practically vanish: reduced levels of violent crime and homicide result.

Few people are stopped from taking drugs because they’re illegal.

Most people don’t take drugs because of the health effects that we’ve been educated about for decades. Portugal’s decriminalisation shows this, with a stagnant rate of drug use before and after the change in legal status.

A legal framework also provides a regulatory framework: government can set standards for what drugs should be made from, mixed with and the purity it should be. They can also set labelling guidelines in the same way food and alcohol labels are regulated. That ensures customers know what they’re buying, reducing the harm that arises from shady supply.

Of course, one of the biggest benefits from legalising drugs is the opportunities for raising tax revenue. As it is, the New Zealand economy loses millions every year into the black hole of drugs.

Legalising them allows for taxes to be introduced, which can serve as somewhat of a disincentive to their use (though they’re already expensive). Tax revenue can also offset costs of whatever enforcement may still exist. Revenue can also be reinvested in drug prevention and rehab programs to help those afflicted with drug addiction. And of course, revenue can be used to fund education campaigns.

Talks of education should turn us to the demand for drugs. Despite decades of criminality, we still have widespread use of drugs. I am not blind to the very real harms that arise out of that drug use. There is no doubt that they can destroy lives. But fifty years of criminalisation has proven to be ineffective. It’s a cliché, but insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The results are no different: drug use continues.

What has proven to be effective in reducing drug use is education.

Showing Lindsay Lohan before and after cocaine use in school assemblies around the country is cringey, yes, but also effective.

Educating people on the harms of drug use provides them with the information they need to make decisions for themselves.

Which brings up the libertarian and principled argument that our bodies are our own to do with as we please: if we have a right to bodily autonomy, then who is the government to say what we can and can’t put into our bodies? It should certainly advise us on what we should

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The reality is that people decide to use drugs regardless of its legal status.

Portugal’s model also seeks to treat drug use as a health issue rather than a criminal issue. Drug users may be asked to attend a conference with a doctor to see whether there are ways to get help. Changing the legal status of drugs also reduces the fear of criminality and the associated harms. A drug user may be more willing to seek help if they know they won’t be criminalised for their drug use, which can really save lives.

That intervention can occur often and early as well: some US states require doctors performing abortions to advise women seeking them about alternatives in a near-persuasive manner. I won’t get into the controversy around that law, but applying such a policy to drug suppliers can help as well: a pharmacist telling or providing literature about the harms of drugs and any programs that may help. It should be noted that those programs, and other drug-related healthcare, already exists under the current framework, but their costs can be offset in a legal framework by the tax revenue raised, similar to the offset in enforcement and education.

Ultimately this discussion is about the real world and the ideal world.

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have the scourge of drugs in our country. But in the real world we do. The harms that flow on from that scourge are the focus of any policy surrounding drugs. In seeking to reduce those harms and attain the ideal world, we’ve created a model that punishes users and creates a black market, without having any material effect on actual drug use. Instead, the current model has only inflamed the harms that result from drugs, with enormous drugrelated violence and crime as a result of the black market.

It’s time to recognise that we live in the real world and that attaining zero drug use, or ‘winning’ the War on Drugs is a fantasy dream. If we want to reduce harm, we have to change our approach to drug use drastically. Perhaps legalisation and regulation, however radical, is the best way to reduce that harm and achieve better outcomes for individual people and society as a whole. It’s by no means a perfect solution, but seeking a ‘perfect solution’ is what got us into this mess.

By Vlad Matviets

15

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How Magic Mushrooms Helped Fix My Alcoholism Before the story begins a few words are necessary. I do not condone the use of illegal substances nor would I recommend them to anyone. Everyone is different and reacts differently to substances. Do your own research. Psychedelic compounds aren’t like most common drugs. Don’t follow in my footsteps, I take stupid risks.

The first time I got drunk (and by ‘drunk’ I mean obliterated) was at the age of 10. I remember having a hangover so bad that I could not stand without the need to throw up, but that’s a story for another time. My parents allowed this to happen with the intention that it would teach me more of the negative effects of alcohol and would drive me away from it.

This did work for a few years, but it also taught me how to tolerate bad hangovers. I started smoking weed at the age of 13 and became addicted to nicotine at the age of 14.

During my last year of high school I started to binge drink almost every weekend with my friends. It was one of the few things we did to socialize. Towards the end of the year I began to drink more regularly by myself at home. Initially this was due to me being bored and wanting to be in a different state of consciousness though. The dependency soon started to grow due to alcohol being a depressant and it ‘helping’ me to forget my troubles at the time. I remember being stressed at school and rather than feeling the craving for nicotine -which I was accustom to at this point- I was having legitimate cravings for a drink. During my last school holidays, I was working to save for accommodation for my first year of university at UC. I was drinking between 3-6 nights a week, consuming about half a bottle of spirits in each binge.

When I first moved into student accommodation, I very quickly found a group that were down to drink as regularly as I already had been due to the party culture within the halls. This did not help my situation at all. My initial intentions going into student accommodation were to meet new people, form new hobbies and the like; not for them to continue to fuel my alcoholism. We formed the weekly habit of drinking every Thursday and Saturday with the occasional Friday which allowed me to continue to drink how I was already drinking, though in a more social setting.

The social side of things didn’t really stop me from drinking the way I always had. For me, drinking to the point of black out was common, and rather than it being something I was afraid of or regretful for, I began to feel like I was drinking an appropriate amount.

I first used LSD when I was 18 during the school summer holidays. I had an amazing time looking at the silhouettes of trees against the night sky. Side note: during this trip I also decided to have a cone, which is not recommended unless you have a lot of experience with both. Because of this, my trip hit the turbo button. This can be a quick way of inducing a negative trip but luckily for me it all went beautifully. Fast forward to winter of 2018 and it’s now mushroom season in

Christchurch. At this point in time I had only one psychedelic experience under my belt. So, I did the necessary research into the wild mushrooms of New Zealand, in particular the Psilocybe Subaeruginosa species.

We made a ritual of the picking experience with accompanying bong bearers and good luck joints, having an all-round good time picking this Class A drug from the ground in nature. One picking session resulted in a haul of about 30 grams of fresh mushrooms -which is the equivalent of about 3 grams dry. My friends allowed me to keep it all, as I had intentions of attempting to fulfill Terence McKenna‘s heroic dose. A heroic dose is five dried grams of P. Cubensis mushrooms taken in silent darkness, which is a rather large dose to take by yourself in that kind of environment. For those of you who are wondering, I didn’t have five dried grams: P. Subaerginosa are approximately twice as potent as P. Cubensis mushrooms so I was well covered.

Going into this trip I had no intention of fixing any of the problems with in my life at the time, I was doing it solely for the experience. I consumed all of said mushrooms with chips (funnily enough I don’t like the taste of mushrooms) and began my expedition into the subconscious. It is difficult to recall exactly what I was thinking at the time due to thinking in abstract thought, but I have distinct memories of thinking about what the alcohol was doing to my body and my personality. They helped me realize that I was becoming someone that I didn’t want to be, that the depressing thought patterns I was going through at the time were because I was running from my emotions instead of facing them, that at the current point in time I was failing university and wasn’t fanatically stable because of the alcoholism I had formed.

Not much initially changed after that trip. Tere was one major improvement that I had noticed though; I no longer felt the need to drink, nor wanted to when I was feeling like shit. Even when I did drink, I wasn’t able to drink anywhere near the same amount, due to my newfound subconscious awareness of alcohol’s negative impacts in my life. In one psilocybin mushroom experience I had fixed the negative thought patterns and addiction that I had developed over the past year.

As it has now been some time from this trip, some of the cravings have come back, and I sometimes have the need to drink. I am, however, aware of the impact that it has on my life. I don’t drink anymore because I choose not to give into those cravings. I won’t fall back down the hole I had already began to make. All things being said, keep in mind that this is one person’s experience. Not everyone is going to have the same reaction to these substances, and you shouldn’t take them with the expectation that they will fix all your problems. Psychedelic compounds will only open the door; you still need to be the one to walk through it.

Anon

Five People Retell Their Trip Experiences

1

- The first time I experienced an ego death I was in bed and alone.

For some reason I had an insane urge to become a mushroom farmer (legal) and I watched a professional forager on YouTube.

I cried. Eventually I woke up, or at least I thought I did. I continued to live my life and then I died...but I woke up...and then I lived my life and died. This just kept happening and each time I became something "bigger", something more experienced, I guess. eventually I 'woke up' but couldn't see anything. This time, everything was black except for the distant twinkling of stars. They were so beautiful. I was unable to see my own body when I realized I wasn't myself anymore. I could move around this 'space' by just thinking about it and eventually I accepted that I wasn't going back to earth and I sat down and let myself 'pass away' one final time. I didn't wake up again until halfway through the next day when I wasn't high anymore. I had some serious questions about reality.

2

- I went to a work leaving party and one of the guys there had never tried MD. I had a g in my car so I decided to share it between the four of us there. We all take 250mg and we're having a solid time. Eventually i remembered I had one of those pills people always warn you about that I had put away and decided I would never take. I took it. The next thing I know, I’m in the back of a car getting driven home and the driver asks me if I’m going to invite anyone over. “What a great idea,” I thought. I don't remember much after that, but the girl (who is now my girlfriend) found me walking down the street topless. There's a video somewhere of me yelling something about my masculine jawline and not to judge my denim jacket (that was hers). Apparently, we got to mine and I stood in front of the mirror, wearing her scarf calling myself “fabulous”.

I didn't sleep at all and I felt like shit the next day (good indicators you’d been given bath salts). I got dropped off at my car and left for home. Halfway home I had a seizure while driving; luckily I pulled over in time. This didn't stop me from taking drugs – I kept having seizures in my sleep for the next month or two.

3

- Robitussin dry cough forte, which has sadly been taken off of the shelves is one of the roughest come ups ever. You feel like a robot and uncontrollably itchy but boy is it worth it. I was once

on this at a party (bad choice) and I couldn't work out whose house it was. Turns out it was mine so I went to bed.

When I got back into my room, I closed my eyes and everything I saw my room light up in neon blue. I could walk around my bedroom with my eyes closed without hitting anything because I could still 'see' it. I lay down in my bed and suddenly I was lying in a field of grass, looking up into the sky. I could feel the wind on my skin. I started thinking about my past and it was like I was there in person, reliving my memories. When I woke up, I had deep purple scratches over my whole body, because I’d scratched myself so much. Overall, worth it.

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- I once took mushrooms with my girlfriend. I hadn't cut them up enough so they were chunky. We decided to try drink them.

We put on ‘Planet Earth’ (always a good time) and started feeling the come up. I started feeling ill and the thunder from the TV started getting to me so I ran to the bathroom. I start puking purple.

The bathroom floor is sparkling at me, there is a thunderstorm in the background and my girlfriend screaming that she doesn’t want me to die. For some reason I have the biggest smile on my face.

We go back to bed and start watching Childish Gambino’s stand up we have to turn it off because my girlfriend saw his head detach from his body. We start to fool around and halfway during a blowjob she has a strange thought and wonders if she can close her mouth around it. She bit my penis.

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- Once while on acid I was lying in bed. I watched neon colours bounce back and forth in my brain to the sound of music.

Suddenly, another colour appeared and I got angry; it didn’t belong to this music. I took of my headphones and went to look for my flatmate, but he was standing at my door. Turns out the angry sound I was seeing was him knocking on my door.

We both went into another room and I started sitting on a chain and leaning on the back two legs; it felt like I was floating. 250ug is a great time.

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Psychedelics and Harm Reduction When I took my first psychedelic I was terrified. I’d heard story after story of trips taking a dark and dismal turn, but luckily I educated myself beforehand, and knew very well the old adage of “set and setting”. It was a warm sunny day in January, and some friends and I dropped acid before heading to the botanical gardens. Needless to say, the trip was gorgeously strange. I remember lying on the grass in a secluded part of the gardens and feeling as though my body was liquid, melting into the earth. Later on I saw some incredible visuals, including a large holographic alien face staring at me from the clouds, and myriad patterns swirling around on both the palm of my hand and the paper I documented the experience on. It was one of the most enthralling experiences of my life, and it was certainly beneficial that beforehand I ensured that I was in a good headspace, in a place I felt safe, and with the right people.

The only reason I was educated was because I took it upon myself to learn about psychedelics. Beforehand, I wouldn’t have had the slightest clue on how to stay safe. Because these compounds are illegal, this information is not widely available. So, you have to search for the information yourself, rather than receiving crash courses on safe tripping in high-school. Instead of focusing on potentially unsafe trips, the fear-mongering around psychedelics relates to the fact they are highly illegal, and that if you have them, you’ll get into serious trouble with the law. Funnily enough, the most dangerous thing about most illegal drugs is getting caught with them, instead of actually using them.

But surely it would be far more beneficial if fear-based appeals focused on information about how to stay safe. People are going to purchase and consume psychedelics regardless of their legal status.

This includes a lot of people who are not educated on safe use. They think they’ll drop some acid to feel better and see Mickey Mouse crossing the road, but instead spiral into a state of panic. Or worse, they will buy from a dealer who is not selling the real thing. Acid (LSD) is sometimes mixed with NBOMe which has killed people in the past, but if acid were instead sold in a regulated and legal market, this would not happen. The same goes for other psychedelics. For these reasons, I believe that psychedelics should be legalised and regulated.

This way, information about harm reduction can be publicised, and the risk of bad trips would be substantially lowered. Furthermore, people may purchase psychedelics knowing that they are getting the real thing, and police time can be better spent on actual crime. And anyway, why should authority figures have any reign over what we as individuals choose to do with our consciousness? What is it their business if someone wants to drink some mushroom tea, put on some Tame Impala, and lie in their sun-drenched backyard to embark on a phenomenological journey?

Even though psychedelics pose far fewer risks than other drugs like alcohol and tobacco, they should still be taken with caution. Even taking psychedelics now makes me anxious. There is a great deal of

respect you should have for these compounds - they are deeply mindaltering and can show you things about yourself that you never wanted to confront. They can throw you headfirst into your worst nightmares.

But, they can also give you the best experiences that you’ve ever had.

In fact, many people who’ve taken magic mushrooms reported that they gave them the most spiritual experience of their life. They are thought-provoking and can give you a different perspective on life and your own mind, if you enjoy them responsibly.

On that note, here are some trip tips on how to stay safe and happy if you’re going to “turn on, tune in, and drop out”: •This really goes without saying, but since these compounds are illegal, please don’t be obvious about the fact that you have them in your possession.

•SET AND SETTING. Arguably the most important rule of tripping: •SET: Make sure you are in a good mindset. Perhaps skip the trip if you’re going through a rough time or you feel you would not be comfortable having your perception of reality altered for the next half-day. Psychedelics are not for everyone. If you really want to trip but are not in the right headspace, don’t. Take care of yourself and talk to someone about how you’re feeling first.

•SETTING: It is really important to make sure your setting is right.

You might think it’d be fun to trip at a raging party full of strangers, but would you really feel comfortable being out of your mind there?

Make sure you feel safe and are with people who will look after you (tripsitters) if something does go wrong.

•Test your drugs. Make sure that they are not mixed with other potentially dangerous compounds. You can buy testing kits online.

•Don’t give in to peer pressure. Just because your friends are going to trip, it doesn’t mean that you should too. If your friends are good friends, they will understand your decision not to partake.

•Ensure you do not have any underlying health conditions or are taking any medications which may make taking psychedelics dangerous, such as SSRIs. If you want more information on how to stay safe (which I highly encourage you to seek out if you’re going to commit to having a wacky mind-bending journey), https://tripsafe.org/ has extensive information on it. I also highly recommend a YouTube channel called “PsychedSubstance” - he has a huge range of videos on harm reduction as well as entertaining trip reports and metaphysical musings. (Unfortunately because he talks about illegal substances, many of his videos are demonetised or removed, despite the fact he promotes harm reduction.) There is also a plethora of information available elsewhere on the internet (isn’t it a wonderful thing?! Don’t believe everything you read, though).

Safe and happy tripping!

By Estelle Miller

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: A Word from Mr Chop So, you want to talk about drugs huh? Easy on Pablo.

Humans have been taking drugs since the beginning of time. They are all around us, built into society and culture. In the last century we have been told not to take drugs, but here, drink this beer and take what the doctor prescribed. They are legal so they can’t be bad for you, right? Wrong.

It is your responsibility as an individual to decide what you should be taking. Following the rules set out by some very impressionable politicians could be stopping people from a better quality of life. Professor David Nutt, former chief drugs advisor in the UK, was sacked in 2009 for addressing this issue. His findings lead to him making claims that seem outrageous to some. Such as, “alcohol is more harmful than heroin”, and “It’s irrational to deny people access to LSD”. If these have shocked your pure mind then I suggest you give him a Google and get woke.

Now drugs are like tools, you need to use the right one for the right job or you’re going to run in to some problems. You shouldn’t be taking them when you don’t have a use for them, or you can run the risk of abusing that substance. By actually educating yourself on what these illicit substances are, instead of following the incredibly outdated approach of “just say no”, you may find that there is something out there that could be beneficial in your life. The obvious example is the medical cannabis revolution that is happening all throughout the world currently. Cannabis was the most commonly used medical plant until it became illegal. The misinformation that was spread managed to hang around for years, causing problems for

people who are trying to prove the hundreds of benefits this happy plant can bring to people.

A New Zealand documentary on this issue called “Druglawed” is available on the internet. I’m not going bother trying to explain it without sounding like a hippy conspiracy theorist.

Other illegal drugs such as LSD, MDMA and psilocybin (in magic mushrooms) are currently being studied for therapeutic effects.

MDMA trials have shown it to have special efficacy in the treatment of PTSD that has proved resistant to conventional treatments. But that doesn’t mean that you popping three caps and going to a DnB gig is good for your brain. We are at uni right now and these substances can open our minds and give new perspective, but too much of a good time and you can find serious negative impacts.

That’s where you need to educate yourself on what you are taking.

Some substances can cause irreversible damage to your brain and body, so, if you are going to take something then making sure you are doing it in the safest way possible is essential. Sites like dancesafe. org tripsit.me and erowid.org are great places to get information that is health based driven rather than “drugs are bad m’kay”.

My final notes would be that most people at uni are going to try a new substance. Just remember that you are here to fill your brain with knowledge, not melt it. I have seen a lot of friends do harm to themselves because they didn’t know that what they were doing was bad at the time. Moderation is key!!! Also be wary of combining substances, the negative effects can be exacerbated if you combine the wrong things (ket seems to be getting popular, please don’t mix with alcohol unless you want to vomit and spin out). Always test what you are taking with a test kit. Last but not least, have fun.

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YOUR ADVOCACY & WELFARE TEAM Drink Spiking ‘Drink spiking’ happens when someone secretly places drugs into a drink. Victims of drink spiking may not realise their drinks have been spiked until it is too late and they are either unconscious or unable to communicate properly. You may not realise your drink has been spiked because the substances used to spike drinks are often colourless and odourless. Most victims eventually blackout, and the blackout can last for up to twelve hours, and may also be followed by memory loss.

The types of drugs involved in drink spiking include GHB, ketamine, rohypnol, benzodiazepines, cocaine, ecstasy, LSD, methamphetamines, and barbiturates, just to name some.

As you can see, your drink may be spiked with a multitude of different types of drugs, or a combination of them. Alcohol can also be used to spike drinks too. Remember that non-alcoholic drinks like water can also be spiked. The effects of drink spiking are different for each person, depending on age, gender, size etc, but can include: - Unconsciousness - Decreased inhibitions - Paralysis - Memory loss - Nausea & vomiting - Muscle spasms - Poor coordination - Respiratory complications - Slurring of speech

- Dizziness - Feeling unusually tired or sleepy - Feeling too hot or cold or both at the same time - Feeling intoxicated or confused even if you have only had a little alcohol to drink

To stay safe: - Tell people you trust where you are going and with whom - Make sure you can be contacted at all times, Only accept drinks from others that you have personally seen being poured - Drink from bottles that you see being opened in front of you - Don’t accept drinks from strangers - Don’t share drinks - Don’t leave your drink unattended - Don’t drink anything that has been left unattended - If you’re unsure about your drink, leave it - Be aware of your friends’ behaviour

If you suspect your drink has been spiked:

- Tell someone you trust who can help immediately - Stay calm - Don’t continue to drink anything - Stay with people who can help you (i.e. friends, bar staff, security staff) - If you suspect your friend’s drink has been spiked: - Alert someone you trust for extra help - Ensure that they are in a safe place - If they are unconscious, ensure they are in the recovery position - Call an ambulance – all drink spiking victims need medical attention - If you have been sexually assaulted following drink spiking, you should seek medical attention as soon as possible.

- Drink spiking is a crime and should be reported to the police as soon as possible. Please be careful out there and look after one another!

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The Policy Place – Your Results Matter Most students are aware of the University’s attitude towards academic honesty and discipline. Every lecturer who teaches a first year course has the spiel honed to an unnerving, sharp-edged sword of threat and terror: copy someone’s work and you will fail the assignment, plagiarise again and you will fail the course, do it a third time and may the Lord of Academic Hosts have mercy on your cheater’s soul.

What many students are not aware of though is that the UC Discipline Regulations and Proctor process can also apply to behavioural breaches of discipline. A “breach of discipline” is defined as: “the breach of a regulation of the University or of any instruction to students issued by or under the authority of the University Council or Academic Board, and also includes any conduct which could reasonably be held to be prejudicial to the functioning or interests of the University, or to the interests of its students.”

Such “instructions issued by or under the authority of the University Council or Academic Board” include the Prevention of Harassment and Bullying Policy, and the Student Code of Conduct. Both these documents require students to treat others with respect and contribute to an environment free from harassment and bullying.

The Code of Conduct though also requires students to “behave in a manner that does not bring the University into disrepute”.

So, if a student mistreats, harasses, or bullies a fellow UC student or a UC staff-member, they will get in trouble with the long arm of the proctorial law. But also, if a student gets drunk and smashes their neighbour’s fence, or runs through Westfield Mall naked but for a bold “UC Sucks” painted on their pasty-white buttocks, they may also be deemed to have behaved in a manner that brings the University into disrepute, and face a Proctor in a disciplinary interview. The Proctors (and above them, the Discipline Committee) have the power to reprimand, fine, sentence to community service, or even suspend or expel (DC only) students for such breaches of discipline. Proven and admitted breaches of discipline are noted on the Discipline Register (visible only to a select few UC staff), and repeat offenders are likely to face more serious penalties.

And so consider yourself warned! And if you get a dreaded letter from one of the Proctors, then please come and see us.

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Artwork By Ricky Townsend

Submit yours to editor@canta.co.nz

Columns Dept. of Spiritual Engineering

Rawing Meg

SEX & CANDY

- Dumb Phones -

- Drugs: Psychiatric not Psychedelic

- Nymphos and Narcotics -

I caught up with a student a few weeks back who told me how hard he’d found the “lack of rhythm” to his five years of study at UC. “I watch programs when I should be studying, and then study out of guilt when I should be sleeping, and then sleep when I should be at lectures because I’m so tired!”. So, is it really possible for a UC student to study well, have fun, control their anxieties, and get enough sleep?

When we talk about drugs, we often assume we mean the illicit kind; but what about those used to treat mental health?

I put the feelers out to you, asking for any assumptions, myths, and questions you had regarding all things about taking medication for treating mental illness, and have summarised my responses into a quick flash five notes; for both those taking such medication and the public’s assumptions about those who take them.

Just because one medication did not work does not mean that any will. There are a lot out there, and will affect every person in a different way. It can take a bit of trial and error and tinkering with doses to find what works If you don’t believe that psychiatric medication should be used due the ingredients in them and the effect on the body, you need to check yourself. Do you know the safety and origins of everything in the processed foods you eat or drink? Or the creams and lotions you pile on your skin?

We don’t turn into emotion-less zombies by taking our medication; nor do we lose our personalities You can’t expect that taking medication will make everything better. You will need to work on the root causes of your issues – and I would highly recommend finding a counsellor/therapist/psychologist to help you It is common to feel scared about becoming addicted to psychiatric medication, or be scared about the withdrawal symptoms that stopping medication can bring. This can all be supported, and managed with a good psychiatrist or a good GP – don’t go cold-turkey off the meds; decreasing slowly will limit the side-effects and impact the medications effect on your body If you want the full post about this, where I delve further into the topic, check out the upcoming post on my blog – follow me on Insta to know when this goes live (all details below).

Q: What drugs do you find most pleasurable to have sex on, and which would you avoid for this reason?

Well, two years ago I took a few months off, and I noticed that I was pretty much addicted to my cell phone. I would be walking along a gorgeous Golden Bay beach, and suddenly discover my hand automatically slipped into my pocket. Instead of enjoying the sunset in front of me, I’d be looking at photos of other people enjoying that same sunset.

So, after much soul searching, I decided to get ruthless. First, I deleted all my apps. And then I just started to leave my phone plugged into the wall (what I call “landlining”) so I only looked at it when I actually wanted to.

And to my surprise...I instantly became a happier, more present, more engaged, less anxious, less distracted person!

The ‘Monitoring the Future’ survey backs me up. “Teens who spend more time than average on screen activities are more likely to be unhappy, and those who spend more time than average on non-screen activities are more likely to be happy. There’s not a single exception. All screen activities are linked to less happiness, and all non-screen activities are linked to more happiness. If you were going to give advice for a happy adolescence based on this survey, it would be straightforward: put down the phone, turn off the laptop, and do something— anything—that does not involve a screen.”

So, this term, why not kick the cellular habit, and try a cell phone diet for the week? You’ll almost definitely study better, be happier, feel less anxious, sleep deeper, play harder… and you’ll get to enjoy sunsets in the flesh. #Nofilter.

Rev Spanky Moore Spanky.moore@canterbury.ac.nz

- Rawing Meg Insta: @rawingmeg Email: rawingmeg@gmail.com Blog: rawingmeg.wixsite.com/hearmeraw

Ahh… drugs and sex, two of my favourite things together! This combination can create beautiful experiences for both parties, or maybe you’ll just vomit on each other after a night out. The risk is what makes it so fun, right?

PSA: try not to vomit on your partner.

There are the classics: alcohol, weed and MDMA. If I’m too fucked up, I can’t really come while drinking or on MDMA, so those guys aren’t my favourite. Weed, of which is my one true love, makes me a bit sluggish but gives me great orgasms. Basically, that just means I want to come then be left alone if I’m stoned, so not the best option for me and a lover.

Personally, though, the best drugged-up sex I’ve ever had was while on acid. I cannot even describe to you the level of pleasure I experienced while peaking and coming at the same time. It was earth-shattering, absolutely mind-blowing, pure euphoria. It’s also a really special way to bond with your partner, so if you’re looking to trap a new bae, acid and sex will make them putty in your hand (consent required, obviously).

In terms of drugs to avoid, shrooms make me weird and I definitely would not wanna bang while tripping out. Alcohol is scary because it can make you completely incapacitated, so if you’re going to have sex, remember that consent is the sexiest move you can make.

Overall, it really does come down to personal preference. If you’re interested in dabbling in some drugged-up sex, I’d recommend starting small and then, once comfortable, getting balls deep into some LSD. Good Luck.

Sustainability - What is hemp? Hey, you! Yes you - the kid wearing socks with marijuana leaves embroidered on them! You think you’re pretty rad, don’t you? Well, you might be cool. I don’t know you like that. But I know you would be a lot cooler if you wore those same socks but made out of hemp.

You might not know, but hemp (the low THC strand of Cannabis-sativa) is actually one of the oldest and most loved fibres due to its versatility and durability. It’s easy to cultivate and has over 25,000 industrial uses. Among its most valuable by-products are hemp seeds, which are a great source of protein to supplement a plant-based diet, and hemp seed oil, which has a variety of culinary, health and industrial uses.

Hemp is also the world’s most environmentally friendly crop, as it can grow pretty much anywhere without much help from the usual enviro-damage suspects: pesticides, herbicides, and fertilizer. And more than that, hemp produces more biomass per acre than almost any other crop, meaning that it eats up CO2 from the atmosphere like your ‘chill’ friend eats up snacks out of the pantry – in large, impressive quantities.

All the above are why restrictions on growing hemp as a crop were lifted in 2001, and why hemp has been steadily grown in Canterbury for over 17 years. Since then, restrictions on hemp byproducts like oil and seeds have been gradually lifted. But why does this matter, you ask?

In a competitive global economy, New Zealand is struggling to balance its exporting interests with its own environmental concerns. Hemp presents an opportunity for New Zealand to find its niche, producing a sustainable product to cater to a growing population of eco-conscious and plant-based consumers.

So, the next time you stop by a supermarket for your pantry top-up, support our local hemp growers, and chuck a bag of hemp seeds into your trolley. Would be very cool of you.

Varvara Sidorenko

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Club Promoter

SAFE Taking drugs is dangerous and illegal, but let’s be real, that isn’t going to stop you. That is why this year we started SAFE, a drug and alcohol harm reduction club. It’s early days, but we have big plans!

If you do decide to put a foreign chemical into your body, you may as well do it safely and do it right. SAFE currently provides brief advice cards - courtesy of the NZ Drug Foundation - that serve as a good starting point, covering effects, overdose signs and where to get help.

We will also be attending events on campus, in a Red Frogs fashion,

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to provide a safe space where students to ask questions and take a break. Our Facebook page is always open to messages, everything is confidential, and all provided information is checked through multiple sources.

Over the next few years, we plan to develop a safety-conscious drug culture and ensure no UC students will ever have to suffer the severe consequences of a drug overdose. To do this, we need YOUR help; membership is FREE and will provide support to a much-needed movement.

Check out our Facebook “SAFE – UC” for more information and a link to our sign-up page.

Amnesty UC

TuneSoc

Founded in late 2016, Amnesty UC is the go-to humanitarian and activist club on campus. We’re part of the larger international Amnesty International network – all working together to ensure human rights are enjoyed by all. We’re part of the crew, campaigning against injustice. If you’re interested in politics, human rights, helping your local community or just keen to get involved, you can contact us on Facebook - @amnestycanterbury. We hold all sorts of activist and social events: including our annual BBQ on the 24th of August! Come join us and be the change that you want to see in the world.

No matter how you indulge in music, chances are you’ll find something in Tunesoc. We’ve got a multitude of events to kick off semester two, with Battle of the Bands coming in hot, a couple of open mic nights to break the ice, and plenty of all welcome jam nights to get comfy. We try to not let beers take centre stage during our events, instead leaving that to the performers, giving them a chance to share their perspective of music, and listeners a chance to connect with something or someone through sound. However, a little lubrication always helps. So, check out Tunesoc on Facebook and see if there’s anything that tickles your fancy. With bashfulness out the window, here are two artists you may have heard of but I feel don’t get the respect they deserve: ‘The Strokes’ and ‘Catfish and The Bottlemen’. I enjoy a bit of their subtle grunt in amongst the surf rock we all love and enjoy. Check out their top songs on Spotify if you get the chance – Lucas Toovey

ScrogSoc

TeaSoc

Do you love scroggin, fresh untracked snow, no lift ques, snack food comprised of nuts and dried fruit, bragging to your mates about how early/late in the season you were skiing, using crampons and ice axes, fresh powder, and more scrog? Well this is the club for you. Brand new to 2019, the UC Backcountry Ski Touring Society – ScrogSoc – is all about ski touring, mountaineering, and loving scrog. If you’re a beginner or a seasoned veteran, ScrogSoc is for, especially as this year’s ski season is finally beginning to get epic! Get in touch today and remember, always froth the scrog.

We all know that you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy tea and that’s kind of the same thing. As the semester only gets busier and more hectic Tea Society is the club to join, providing an environment where you can sit back and relax. Tea Society is for all of those who enjoy drinking a cup (or three) of tea, as well as socialising with people who enjoy the same thing. Our gatherings include simple tea drinking, chatting and hanging out, movie nights, breakfasts and tea parties. Our meeting times vary between each day of the week and times of the day to ensure everyone has a chance to come along. Join our Facebook group @TeaSoc to find out where we are meeting.

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Flat Famous The Local Flat Ferg: Fuego is our flat full-time herbivore and van-life representative. Technically he doesn't actually live with us so we wouldn't be surprised to wake up one morning and find he’s moved to Dunedin. From the amount of carrots he eats he can actually see real mean in the dark - would be handy if he didn't get pissed blind and need glasses. If you ever hear him yell “LETS FUCKING GO!!” run for your life - Ferg is the only man in history to have ever weaponised an onion bhaji

night, post skiing, two scrumpys deep in a state to what we refer to as Level 5 Benjamin - in no way understandable, clothes back to front and an absolute weapon. Notable mention: Ben has a 25% success rate of cracking eggs.

Cam:

Before even moving in, this late addition was welcomed with a warm yak in his closet. For a used car salesman Schmacko brings a bit of class to the flat. You might find him enjoying a nice port after a long 9 days on the grind. After day 10 though the inner sesh gremlin will almost surely emerge. In this mode he may try sell you a car of a colour only he can see. Legend has it Mac can weigh a gram of anything just by holding it.

Cam is somewhat of a gravitational anomaly. Spend too much time with him and you’ll be sucked over past his event horizon, beyond which can only be described as a cesspit of unproductiveness. The low production rate doesn’t roll over onto the basketball court however. His gifts on the court are not dissimilar to the thick mist of vape clouds that emanate from his bedroom window on a Sunday afternoon; thick, floaty and with incredible elevation. His most recent role in the flat was that of the maid, where his common tasks included cooking, cleaning and tucking young ben into bed every night.

Dan:

Oscar ‘OG’ Gittings:

Mac:

Fondly known as UC’s favourite gluten-free stud with chat so good it’ll send you into a coughing seizure after you hit that 50 nic. He also has an incredible worth ethic and loves to end a long day playing with robots parking up in his Lazyboy and tucking into a delicious herbal cornetto. If you’re lucky/funny you may be graced with the greatest cackle of all Dan cakles. We may call him a shit lad, but really shmaniel is a good boi and a sweetheart.

Ben: Schemjamin Schmulesy is one of the biggest culprits of the flat. Often seen picking up his dank, grotty and in no-way wearable King’s College socks off the clothes line after a rainy night, that mummy forgot to wash before settling the accounts on the trust fund with Daddy who owns the Uni. Ben also appears at approx 9.30pm, Wednesday

The long hair and the easygoing demeanour might give away that OG ‘aww yeeeaah?’ grew up in small town hawkes bay. Don’t confuse his inability to be bothered by absolutely anything as a lack of drive though. This is the man of legendary stature. He once almost punched four bags of chips in 30 minutes and has even gone surfing with a victoria secret model and the guys from MGMT. It can be quite tough to talk smack about a big cuddly teddy bear like BRO-G, but just know that seeing him every day definitely gives us that ‘electric feel’.

Nobody: Andy:

Literally

Nobody:

Yo boys let's get our kit off Wooh let's go.

Did you boys know I went to Sacred, fuck can't wait for the next Sacred reunion haha

I get so cooked everytime, nah actually from Johburg aye haha Pretoria Wooh we having zingylahlahs tonight lads? HELLO! you boys seen the new IOS update, heard the specs of the next iPhone got leaked the other day as well. FELLAS whats that song with that bit that goes bam bam badam?? Nah nah that's not it it's more bam bam badaam.. dw I'll think of it while I'm in the Skine, oh sorry i mean Erskine, I do software eng you wanna download my app bro? Oh nah only on Android actually sorry haha you remember we got Compsoc BBQ this weekend bro?

Should be a good boppylahlah on the old day drinks aye

Corb: Corban is well renowned among the flat as a bad bad man. This is made possible by his average chat, above-average looks and F-list internet fame (cheers Discovery).

Unfortunately for Corban his blood is too thin (much like other parts of him), which leads to him constantly getting injured both on the basketball court and up the mountain.

Despite that, he works hard, plays even harder, and pops off more than his foreskin did. You can catch this cute boy live with a bev in hand on Sounds of the Local any day of the week.

Lewis: Lewis is one of the flats more sophisticated guys. He loves to park up with a rum and coke and a fresh roll of Canada’s finest greenery. You know he’s had a bit much when you find him passed out with a chicken cordon bleu on his lap and a ski helmet on his head. But that’s just his regular night. However, his lack of piss sinking ability is well made up for on the ski field.

You know that guy in the Hawaiian shirt sending backflips into knee deep pow under the chair lift so everyone can see? Yeah that’s the one aye.

Want your flat featured in CANTA? Email editor@canta.co.nz

This issue’s FLAT FAMOUS has scored drinks, food, at the Fox & Ferret!

Photo Credit - Java Katzur

CANTA’S

BROKEN NEWS People Shocked Show Written by Privileged White Boys Contains Bullying, Racism, & Misogyny People throughout the country have been left shocked by the revelation that a stage show written and performed by white, male, cantabrian law students might be offensive.

Audience members were reportedly left stunned after the Lawsoc performance used ol’ timey race and gender based humour

Bad Smells in Haere-roa Toilets Blamed on “Guy in Here Before Me” 100 percent of Time The unisex toilets in the new Haere-roa building has caused some awkward encounters between people coming and going from cubicles.

A study by CANTA found that in 100% of these encounters, negative smells in the cubicle were caused by “the guy that was in here before me”.

The awkward encounters reportedly start when an individual leaving a cubicle decides to comment on the state of said cubicle.

Ultimately however, CANTA researchers believe it is heavy student diets of UCSA-supplied food, Indomie noodles, and MDMA that are to blame for the bad smells

ALUMNI WATCH This week in Alumni Watch, we catch up with Greg Gregson.

Greg Gregson: BCom (hons), 1971-74 Greg is from the heart of mid-Canterbury, raised in Fairlie and schooled at Mackenzie College. Greg arrived at UC bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in 1971, and spent four years studying a Bachelor of Commerce with honours. His fondest

memories of his time at UC include the giant binge-drinking sessions that would take place in the carpark with thousands of students. He does not miss the exams though, which back then would account for 100% of your grade in the course!

After graduating Gregson hopped around various jobs in the commerce sector, trying his hand at many different tasks. He’s now homeless, living in Invercargill, and loves heroin!

“How could a bunch of uppermiddle class people who have never experienced discrimination in their lives write a play that is offensive?” said one audience member.

In a statement to CANTA, Lawsoc stated “we’re sorry for any offensive caused, we’ve been performing Law Revue annually for years, and we’ve just tried keeping it consistent the entire time”.

Screenshot

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Purpose Projects An Interview with its creator, Laura Robinson

What was uni like for you? How did you balance the beginnings of Purpose Projects after completing UCE with study and every thing else that comes with life?

I studied at UC for four and a half years.

The culture here is to get involved in things in addition to doing your degree and that environment definitely helped encourage me to step out and start up Purpose Projects.

After completing UCE balance was pretty much thrown out of the window. The first few years of any start up take huge grind and we’re in the middle of it. It’s hard. I’ve just had to pick what to sacrifice to give time to the things prioritised.

Where did the idea for Purpose Projects come from?

Purpose Projects has a pretty awesome back story. As an overview I first volunteered at 18 years old and was quickly confronted with the implication that my own incredible experience was having on the community I was in. I had spent over $8,000 in just getting to Uganda through a large international organisation, and the small host organisation I worked for only saw a small inch of this. I had also raised extra money, some of which went towards repainting a school that had been repainted every year, its actual needs were a new safe structure and new classrooms that individual volunteers, like myself, couldn’t afford. It became apparent to me pretty quickly I wasn’t helping the issues, but I was part of them. Out of disgust at the direction volunteering was moving in, Purpose Projects was catapulted into existence. Over the next three years I travelled back and forth to Uganda to develop a better volunteer model, grew an incredible team and then we launched it last year.

How was your trip to Uganda at the start of this year? You completed the building of Kkoba School?

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Purpose Projects travelled with its first two groups of over 30 volunteers to Uganda in the 2018/19 summer. The volunteers were incredible, they gave their all everyday and served the local community so well.

Construction started on Kkoba Primary School a month before our trips started, which the volunteers had worked to fund by serving their local communities in a variety of ingenious ways. The school is now in its opening stages and will be able to educate up to 1000 children. The construction of the primary school was only the first step in a long-term plan, created and run by a local organisation and a community board.

It includes the construction of a secondary school, tertiary training centre, medical centre and water and sanitation projects, all in the hope of relieving the burden of poverty felt heavily throughout Kkoba.

is to see a bigger impact made in Kkoba community and hundreds of communities across East Africa. We also hope to continue challenging and developing the volunteer sector for young adults, adults and missions.

My dream for the future is to see countries transformed, the industry transformed and generations of people transformed through love and service to others.

How can we get involved with Purpose Projects?

What are some lessons you've learned from the children you've been helping overseas?

There are a few ways you can get involved.

Purpose Projects will again be taking groups of volunteers to Uganda for the 2019/20 summer to begin the construction of the Kkoba Secondary School. More information can be found at https://purposeprojects.org. nz including where to donate to upcoming projects. Secondly just sharing on the message of volunteer tourism and helping raise awareness to the problems of it.

I have learnt so many, here is a few, out of many, so far:

What makes you happy?

(a) Millions of children around the world are condemned to a life of poverty by change alone. We were lucky to be born into the life we were born into. "Every small person deserves a big future” - Lily McFarlane. (b) The people we work with in East Africa are not lacking in innovation, leadership or capability. They lack in resources, finances and a government that sets a culture of giving to help address their struggles. We can’t solve their problems but we can help empower the locals too. Change starts within, from the bottom up, from the next young generation to carry through.

What are you future plans, goals and dreams for Purpose Projects? What are YOUR dreams for the future?

The future plans for Purpose Projects

Serving a bigger purpose than myself and that is people.

Ben Appetit Stoner Food

I got more than what I bargained for after asking the UCSA Noticeboard what they eat while high. 211 comments later and I remain unsettled that meals like “chocolate icing between hash browns” and “Coco Pops with iced coffee’” are on student menus.

Nevertheless, I ventured to verify which ‘dish’ was best of all.

Firstly, I must address the rousing support for places such as Big Gary’s, Captain Ben’s, and Dragon Garden.

Shamefully I admit I’ve been to the latter only once; send your pitchforks my way. News alert: I prefer Gary’s over Ben’s for burgers and fries, but I’m sure my namesake is equally as munchable.

The other main category I found was spreads and oils and noodles. Apparently “nothing beats demolishing a jar of Marmite” or a “canola sandwich” or “mi goreng and Olivani”. The list goes on and on, a list that is 50% peanut butter related. To those drinking tomato sauce like it’s juice, the door is on your left. (This research helped me discover Crunchie chocolate spread though, so a heartwarming thanks for that.)

From my unbiased perspective, pizza, fresh fruit, and cereal come up the most with all of my evidence compiled together, thereby answering the question of what to eat when the time is right.

My gut sank hearing the words “a whole tub of cream cheese” and “pods as cereal” as answers to my Facebook post (where “cereal and sour cream” is their lovechild). You could say I’m 2% lactoseintolerant, so “entire blocks of edam cheese” are an unfortunate hard pass. In fact, as I researched for this Ben Appetit, dairy products like cheeses and ice-cream came up surprisingly often. Obviously people have their own unique and unpredictable cravings when the time comes, but the universal best stoner snack has to be something everybody can digest.

Seeing how heinous some of the suggestions were, I’m giving this article 1/10 Bens and you all did it to yourselves.

Whatever you find yourself eating while on the village green, take measures to avoid dishes like some of those I’ve screenshotted, which I deem the worst culprits of all.

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Music Review

A Few Notes Three two one lets jam

By Lewis Hoban

Ezra Furman - Twelve Nudes

Sleater-Kinney

Mx. Furman is a bit of an oddball, for sure. Usually clad in a modest dress with makeup and lipstick, they towed the line between whether or not they identified as something outside the CIS category, and even got in a few passiveaggressive beefs on whether or not they are properly transgender or just consciously androgynous. In the meantime, tho? Furman has been putting out some of the absolute best music, incendiary and inspiring, their voice scrawling like a Johnny Rotten snarl and the beat tight. Even If you’re only into them for accumulative the hipster points (please don’t do that, it’s not gonna get you any more laid), you gotta admit this melts your face off in just the right way.

- The Centre Won't Hold

Last issue, for the funnies, I touched on the theme of how we really are in need of a few ol’ fashioned Riot Grrrl revivalist groups in the pop charts. It’s always passable to sing copypasted background-of-commercials-for-the-new-monosyllabic-fourseater-type songs about feminine empowerment and how you’re beautiful on the inside and just the way you are and all that chicken-soup-for-the-soul shite. Kelly Clarkson does this with literally everything of here’s that’s ever been smattered on the Top 100. I want more female empowerment songs encouraging gals to reel back and kick their male oppressors in the low hanging fruit. It’s one thing to pat your daughter on the head and reassure her that time will heal a broken heart, but the better thing to do is yeet a big rock through that boy’s window and tell her that property damage on the other hand definitely won’t heal. Back in the nineties (“♪ I was in a very famous tee vee show ♪” notwithstanding), one of those bands that dominated, or so I’m told, is the infamous Sleater-Kinney, who not only furthered the absolute onslaught of Washington-based ne'er-do-wells into the music scene but also helped lay the groundwork for those on the LGBTQ+ spectrum – singer/ songwriter guitarists Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker are both bisexual, and actively dated each other for a few years. Fun times. And now they’re back.

So how do these grrls who riot sound after so many years out of the spotlight, lying dormant while new-age demagogues of the music scene like T A Y L O R S W I F T? Well, in keeping with my holier-than-thou air, they’ve changed, man. I know I say that a lot, and I know full well I’m also one of the first people to come to an artist’s defence when some high-horsed reviewer disregards their latest outing because they’ve ‘gone poppy’. I read a Pitchfork article about how the Black Keys aren’t as raw as they used to be and may or may not have said live on my radio show that Pitchfork should inhale my whole cock and balls. That said, the sound has done a solid 90° from what we’d consider in the edgy hair mistake community to be a rah-rah anti-authority staple, the female Nirvana, if you did some mental gymnastics. Whereas before their sound came at you like an anxiety attack, this is all now very artistic, very vouge, very self-aware. The production, maybe the crispest I’ve heard on a Sleater-Kinney album, lets you hear every reverberation of the studio wall. This is an environment you expect a Riot Grrl group to thrive.

This is the auditory equivalent of putting a lobster in fresh water.

Oliver Tree - Do You Feel Me? Sometimes you get some folks in the music who know exactly how to milk the cultural zeitgeist. Pale Waves, for example, know exactly what they’re doing in reviving the gothic rock aesthetic in the peak of StrangerThings-influenced media. Tree is acting as the zoomer equivalent, straddling the post-ironic memescape in his bowl cut, jincos and puffy ski jacket. He might look like poor life choices given human form, it’s all intentional.

Half of the appeal is that he looks like a dingus, strutting around on James Corden on stilts. The other half is his masterful rubber banding blend of pop rock and BeastieBoy rap. You know how Joji started off as Filthy Frank?

It’s like that, but there’s no transition required.

Honourable mentions:

Black Mekon – Destroy Nostalgia, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - INFEST THE RATS’ NEST, Tropical Fuck Storm – Braindrops, Oh Sees – Face Stabber, Jay Som - Anak Ko, Redd Kross – Beyond the Door, Caravan Palace – Chronologic

Entertainment Guide

Entertainment Guide

By Ella Somers

TV: Euphoria Hooray! Through a mix of sleep deprivation, caffeine and probably a few fervent “I will never leave any assignments this late again, I SWEAR” sobbing meltdowns, you’ve survived the first half of Semester 2! Tests, essays and other uni assignments are now a distant nightmare behind you. You can pat yourself on the back for getting through to the other side.

Now that you can marathon-watch anything you like without feeling the crushing guilt that you should probably be studying, think about checking out Euphoria. Before you start watching though, beware that the series is full of very heavy content (sexual violence, violence and drug use) that you could find potentially triggering. I honestly thought going into the series that I wouldn’t enjoy it but I was completely sucked in and didn’t want to leave. Euphoria is crammed full of SO many things that it’s hard to give a brief summary that actually explains it well!

IMDB sums it up loosely as, “A look at life for a group of high

school students as they grapple with issues of drugs, sex, and violence,” but Euphoria digs deep into those issues in a way that I haven’t really seen before on screen.

Personally my favourite aspect of Euphoria was the effort made to give so much depth to all the characters. Also, it stars the glorious Zendaya, who shows yet again that there really is no end to her depth as an actor and her brilliance in general. The only quip I had was that Euphoria is classed as a “teen drama” but very much feels like it’s been made for adult audiences. I don't mean whah whah whah this will poison young teens minds - but if you watch it you might feel how the whole series feels staged for an audience much older. This doesn't make it bad but it is a bit strange and could put you off.

Rating: 7.5/10 Zendayas.

BOOK: The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang This is a book I would recommend starting when you’ve got a solid block of time to just dissolve into the couch for a few hours and get properly sucked in with no interruptions. Don’t pick it up when you’ve got other things on your mind or you’re worrying about any uni deadlines that are trying to eat you slowly, because it will distract you from all the brutal brilliance that The Poppy War holds. Be aware that The Poppy War is also full of very heavy content around the themes of sexual violence, violence and drug use that you could find potentially triggering.

This novel fall in the Grimdark fantasy genre which is known to be incredibly dark and violent. However, as long as you're aware of that and you’re looking for a read that will make you feel like you’ve been punched in the face in a good way but also a bad way, look no further than The Poppy War! following Rin who starts out in the book as a war orphan and peasant with a bleak future of being married off to the highest bidder by her criminal guardians.

Through working her guts off and being smarter than everyone else, Rin manages to get into the best military school in the country. But, upon arriving at the school she discovers she has to fight even harder to stay than

she did to get in due to being targeted for her skin colour, gender and class by her competing classmates. Throw in a side of shamanism and the threat of an upcoming war that has the possibility to completely destroy Rin’s world, this book digs its claws into you deep and refuses to let you go.

PODCAST: Say Why to Drugs Maybe if you’re anything like me, you’re ready to roll yourself up in a duvet like a human sausage roll, face plant into the nearest pillow and sleep for a week. So wrap yourself up in as many duvet casings as you can find and pop on the Say Why To Drugs podcast hosted

by Dr Suzi Gage. A trained psychologist, Dr Suzi Gage addresses a substance per episode, generally with a guest, and looks at the harm and sometimes benefits of the substance along the way.

I really like that Say Why To Drugs is interesting without being boring - it doesn’t need to have the full attention of my two brain cells for the whole length of an episode to understand it all. I’m also ALWAYS here for finding a podcast host whose voice doesn't feel like a cheese grater on my ear drums (guess who can’t stand ASMR), so it’s great that Say Why To Drugs, ticks that box as well.

37

Things to do with your life other than speding all your time in the library studying ( otherwise know as : Upcoming Events in our city).

Open Mic Stand Up Comedy

Beginners’ Tribal Belly Dance

Venue - Kensington Fun House Time - 8pm Date - September 10th

Venue - CWEA 59 Gloucester St Time - 5:30pm Date - September 10th

Yoga for the Creative Soul Venue - The Exchange XCHX Time - 7:00am Date - September 11th

Im Turning 2 Party

Tiny Runis - Olympic Girls Spring Tour of Aotearoa Venue - Blue Smoke Time - 7:30pm Date - September 12th

Venue - Fat Eddie's Time - 7:00pm Date - September 12th

Adam Hattaway and the Haunters Bootleg Rascal – Yin and Yang Album Release NZ Tour Tour Venue - Space Academy Time - 8:00pm Date - September 13th

Venue - Blue Smoke Time - 8:00pm Date - September 13th

Salsa Night

llam School Fundraiser

Venue - Casa Publica Time - 9:00pm Date - September 19th

Venue - llam School, right next door! Meals start at 4$ Time - 5-8pm Date - September 20th

BLANK ATM

12

39

Taking a trip of mind expansion

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Taking a trip of mind expansion A collection of imagery, ideas and inspirations captured while trippin’

41

Y o u r W e e k ly

“ ow To: H Make your own adventure” With the days becoming longer and the sun warming our cheeks with its soft glow even more, you have the perfect excuse to close your laptop, put on some walking shoes and head outside. This week’s day adventure will take you out to Awaroa or Godley Head. It is a 3-hour return trip, but add on time if you want to explore and eat lunch.

As always, grab your pals, grab some snacks and find yourself a car (or take the Purple Bus out to Sumner and bike the rest of the way).

Drive out to the coastal village of Sumner and then head over the hill and park up at Taylor’s Mistake. Google maps can help with this if you’ve never been out there before. It is about a 40-minute drive.

Find the Pilgrims Way coastal pathway to the right of the bay which will take you past cute little baches waiting patiently for their summer owners to fill them with laughter and the smell of sizzling barbeques. Little daises should be starting to bloom along the track.

A bumblebee or two may keep you company for a little bit.

A gentle incline will take you up into the Port Hills where you’ll follow a clearly marked path hugging the coast. Enjoy the lovely sea cliff

sights, as well as the many happy puppers you’ll pass along the way.

Eventually, past Boulder Bay, the path will zig zag upwards and you’ll reach Godley Head. This area is home to a World War II coastal defence battery, built in 1939, which sits atop 120 metre-high cliffs.

Tour around the headland, following the Godley Head Gun Emplacements Track. I’d recommend stopping for a picnic lunch to enjoy the views. You’ll be able to look back to Christchurch city and over into Lyttelton Harbour.

Follow the track back to Taylor’s Mistake where a quick drive back over into Sumner can serve you with a tasty feed of fish and chips, an ice cream or a sweet hot chocolate from Utopia Ice. Fingers crossed this breath of fresh air will motivate you for the next few days of studying inside.

By Samantha Mythen

Adventure Series

A Trip Up Temple Temple Basin has and always will have a very special place in my mountainous heart. It was the first clubbie I got to experience when I started at UC as a young, fresh to death, fresher.

For those of you un-enlightened as to what a ‘club field’ is - they’re one of Aotearoa’s greatest kept skiing secrets. Club fields (or Clubbies for short) are ski areas that have minimal influence by humans on them.

Forget chairlifts and expensive cafes. Think untamed mountains that encourage your inner and explorative kea spirit. Since I started skiing the Clubbies in 2016, I fell in love with everything they epitomise isolated mountainous environments, epic skiing, rope tow access and welcoming people.

I digress, where was I again? Ah yes, Temple Basin (TB). It also happens to be arguably the most extreme and epic Clubbie of them all, but of course, that will always be subjective! Apart from the wild terrain, its access is also what contributes to its uniqueness and just straight-up legendary status. It has the largest walk up to the lodge of all the Clubbies. TB is the deepest clubbie (2 hours from Chch) of the Arthurs Pass club fields. You park at the bottom of Arthurs Pass road (The Alpine Highway, yum), chuck all your gear in an old

chugger of a ‘goods lift’ and walk up to the lodges (there’s two you can stay in, one is owned by the student ski club Canterbury University Snow Sports Club - CUSSC). They’re both perched at 1380m high in the sky, wedged between two gorgeous mountain ranges… You have to really #earnyourturns and want to be up there (btw you definitely want to be up there), you have to want it so bad you’re willing to do 400m of vertical climbing yourself before you can even slap your sticks on!

Besides the skiing, the incredible people who run and look after the lodge, legends who ski there and the local, beautiful, cute but sexy and intelligent kea... It’s the alpine views that really make Temple, well to me, Temple. You’re surrounded by some of NZ’s best, including a gem of Arthurs Pass, Mt Rolleston (the reeeaaallly good looking peak). Mt Rolleston captures the imagination of every person who gazes upon her, whether that's at sunrise, lunch, or under the truly bright Southern stars. Do yourself a favour, promise me that one day you’ll venture up Temple. It changed my life and well, it may just change yours too.

Harry Seagar

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One Side I was convinced to apply for the blind date by my flatmates, who I think just wanted me out of the house, but the promise of free food did appeal to me. I was pretty nervous as I had not been on a proper sit down restaurant date in a while. I was somewhat optimistic though after reading the previous issues blind date, which sounded like a raging success.

I am not known for my punctuality, but made an exception and arrived a little early. I was seated in a corner table with some words of encouragement from the wait staff. She arrived perfectly on time, and was pretty easy on the eyes. Things were looking good.

I was pretty nervous and when she approached the table I introduced myself, but missed the opportunity to pay her a compliment. A rookie move. We made some polite small talk and ordered drinks. I ordered a Peroni and the waiter instead brought me a Corona. Usually I’m not into waiters messing up my order but this was some huge Vin Diesel, Fast and The Furious energy. So I let it slide.

I was keen to share pizzas or something to avoid having to use a knife & fork. I suggested it but my date was vegetarian and allergic to dairy so we didn’t. I instead ordered a delightful pasta dish which was a welcome change from my own cooking. We chow down and continue chatting. I suggested we get dessert, as I would hate to leave any money on the tab. It did not occur to me that all good desserts contain dairy. She found something she could eat from the meagre dessert selection and we continued the fine dining experience.

We had been making polite conversation about: jobs, hobbies, pets, flatting and travel but the conversation never really progressed much further. We finish up, and I give her a lift home. I don’t think she was impressed by my driving prowess. I pulled a flawless 3 point turn out of a tight park in my lifted 36 year old truck with no power steering.

Overall it was a pleasant evening with delicious free food, cheers Canta, and great company. However we definitely had different interests and I don’t think there’ll be a 2nd date.

The Other Side Waiting in the car outside Barretta – making sure that I was fashionably 5 mins late. My flatmate and I were scoping out all the guys walking passed seeing if they could be my date. When the waitress guided me to the table in the corner, I was glad to see that he wasn’t short and bald like we had seen outside. After introductions we ordered drinks and food. Pizza for me and a pasta for him. Although the waitress forgot the side that we ordered and got his beer wrong, we decided against making a fuss and settled into conversation. I started off with “what do you do when not at uni?” his reply – “not a lot.”

Well there goes 80% of my interest.

We spent the rest of the evening flicking from topic to topic, music,

tv shows, sports (he hasn’t done sport since high-school, another 15% of my interest gone). We both wanted to travel, but didn’t really know where, both had sisters, and enjoyed Christchurch life. Finally, we reached the topic of cars and he had obviously been told to not to geek out about cars. But cars are more interesting than not doing anything. Especially when he mentioned that he was building a couple up. (gaining back 10% of my interest). Conversation trickled along until 9 when we left, and me not having a ride home accepted when he offered. He had this old Ute that was his uncles which was cute. Probably not second date material even though it was a nice evening, especially because when the flatmates were quizzing me, I couldn’t remember his name.

To Canta: it shouldn’t be too hard to find a fella that does some form of sport. Sincerely, from the girl whose bikes cost three times more than her car.

HAPPY ENDING

PISCES

ARIES

(Jan 20 - Feb 18)

(Feb 19 - Mar 20)

(Mar 21 - Apr 19)

One suggestion for music to get high to, you ask? The prog-trance tones of British band Above and Beyond’s fourth studio album “Common Ground”.

As astrologists, it’s true we possess several baggies of magical crystals. The best astrologists test theirs before use, though.

Everybody knows that you’re high. The litre of deodorant you sprayed on yourself is the biggest giveaway of all. Not to mention the fact that you’re reading this out loud.

TAURUS

GEMINI

CANCER

(Apr 20 - May 20)

(May 21 - Jun 20)

(Jun 21 - Jul 22)

AQUARIUS

Don’t be jealous about your friends who are on long overseas excursions when you could be tripping from the comfort of your own bed.

Only a true detective can tell the difference between the Hell’s vegan meat pizzas and the suspicious contents of the small bag you just bought (that’s totally not oregano).

LEO

VIRGO

LIBRA

(July 23 - Aug 22)

(Aug 23 - Sep 22)

(Sep 23 - Oct 22)

Start that petition you’ve been mulling over. Example: If cannabis can be medicinal, how come the UC pharmacy won’t sell you papers?

If you’re reading this: yes, the UCSA elections did happen, and yes, they were a bloody shitshow. Not voting because you don’t like politics is a political decision, dweeb.

Just because Haere Roa doesn’t have urinals, doesn’t mean the conveniently groin height sinks fill that need.

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

(Oct 23 - Nov 21)

(Nov 22 - Dec 21)

(Dec 22 - Jan 19)

New Zealand drinking culture is a lot like your flat dynamic.

Fucked.

Stay in drugs. Don’t do school.

Uppers are red, downers are blue, your straight and narrow parents totally haven’t a clue...

HOROSCOPES

@rickytownsendnz - facebook.com/rickyTnz