CANTA, Issue #12 2018 by UCSA

24TH SEPTEMBER 2018

THE BARTER BARBER JUSTICE FOR TERRI frIEsen MENTAL WELLNESS: YOUR ANECDOTES

ISSUE 12

RUA TEKAU MĀ WHĀ

Disclaimer THIS ISSUE OF CANTA DEALS WITH SENSITIVE ISSUES THAT MAY BE DIFFICULT FOR SOME READERS. WE’RE HERE TO HELP. YOU CAN CALL 03 369 0450/0452 OR EMAIL HELP@UCSA.ORG.NZ TO TALK TO THE ADVOCACY AND WELFARE TEAM AT THE UCSA. THE UC HEALTH CENTRE OFFERS A FULL RANGE OF GP (GENERAL PRACTITIONER) SERVICES, INCLUDING COUNSELLING. PHONE: +64 3 369 44 44. NON URGENT ENQUIRES: HEALTHCENTRE@CANTERBURY.AC.NZ THERE ARE MANY SELF-HELP OPTIONS AVAILABLE AS WELL - SOME OF THESE ARE LISTED HERE: CANTERBURY.AC.NZ/HEALTHCENTRE/SELFT-HELP-OTHERRESOURCES.

contributors JOSHUA BROSNAHAN

GABBY WATSON

BEN O’CONNELL

BEA GOODING

CONOR JONES

NATHAN JAMES

LIAM DONNELLY

KATIE HARRIS

KELLY PHILLIPS

JAVA KATZUR

SPANKY MOORE

HARRY BEAUMONT

LEWIS HOBAN

LIAM STRETCH

ROBERT BROWNLEE

in this issue CANTA’S BROKEN NEWS 0 8 BEN APPETIT: THE WOK 10 UC PHARMACY - 14 SNEEZING SEASON THE BARTER BARBER 2 2 FLAT FAMOUS: 2 4 CHATEAU AU RATTRE JUSTICE FOR TERRI 2 6 A FEW NOTES WITH LEWIS 2 9 WELLNESS WATCH - IT’S 3 3 OKAY TO BE NOT OKAY ADVENTURES FROM THE 4 2 SOUTH: GOLLUM’S POOL LUCKY DIP 4 4

LETTER OF THE WEEK

Letters to the Editor MO N O COM PL AI NT #356 Dear Canta, It is with great disappointment that I write this letter to express my dismay regarding the latest instalment of Mono. The cries of the student body for Drum and Bass at Mono had become so loud around election time it was a matter of when, not if. Our prayers looked to be answered as the first Mono back in term 4 was a basement takeover. Imagine my disappointment, I finished my work for the day and cracked right on with getting well and truly fizzed for what I had hoped to be a rip snorter. Arriving at 9.30 I was greeted to the sounds of not DnB, but rap. My dream that this would break electronic music free from the shackles of ‘Doof’ were not to be.

I wished that minds would be opened by great sounds, that it would take people on a journey that leads them from drum and bass to techno, trance and house music. Unfortunately, what we got was comparable to a year 10 dance. Maybe one day we can actually get some decent Drum and Bass at Mono (hitting shuffle on Spotify would have been better). Is it too much for a man to dream of getting some heavy, dark and filthy choons for all 4 hours mono has to offer? Sincerely Techno Viking

Hi Techno Viking, Mono was full, the line was out the door. People were still trying to get in even once the doors were shut. We consider this a success... but I can see your point, if the music wasn’t sticking to the genre. The purpose of Mono is to provide a wide range of acts for students. We’ll definitely, definitely be providing more electronic acts in the future. I know this might not have tickled your pickle this time around, but keep an eye out... you never know when your pickle is on the tickle list.

Sorry it wasn’t filthy enough for you- we have to think of the widest audience possible. Good news on the horizon – Tea Party has a rave cave with DnB acts from Wellington Auckland and Dunedin, and Mount Eden are on the main stage. Start a petiton with Lucie Minehan Fitzgerald. She’s like DnB’s Joan of Arc. Live, laugh, yeet. CANTA

SOUR CREAM DOLPHIN KILLERS Hey Canta, I went to grab my favourite Thursday $5 wedges from Nuts and Bolts and noticed that whilst the bowl and the fork were biodegradable, they had put the sour cream into a plastic container! The wedges tasted a little bit tainted once I realised my wholesome lunch was probably gonna end up killing a dolphin :(((. So I have to ask, what’s with the sneaky plastic UCSA? You seem to be doing so much good on the sustainability front but when I see things like this it starts to feel a little hollow... What’s wrong with just putting the sour cream directly into the bowl? C’mon, UCSA think of the dolphins! Sincerely, Dolphinlover123_xo

We asked our fave chef Brent to reply to this for you: Dear Dolphinlover123_xo, I do apologise that you felt your wedges were tainted by the thought of one of the small recyclable sour cream pottles killing a dolphin.We have been using the small containers for three weeks now. We have definitely not tried to sneak the containers in. The containers are recyclable number 5: 5 – PP – Polypropylene Clothing, bottles, tubs and ropes. These can be recycled into fibers. We have and are implementing a new packaging plan, but have to use up our old containers first. Once we have used up the last of the clear containers we will start using a plant-based containers. We have noticed that most students remain ignorant to the waste/

recycling/organics system, and put all their compostable containers into the red landfill bin. Don’t forget these sour cream containers are recyclable! Once again thank you for your feedback, Brent Watson Nuts and Bolts

5 HAUS OF COLLEGE XOX

TERRIFYING SHEEP

Dear Canta I write in response to the news piece about the College House student who courageously came out as straight. We at College thank Canta for acknowledging our sexual diversity. Our parents pay a compulsory $275 so that every student can join the CHSA (College House Straight Alliance). We do love our token straights, though we will never understand. Who doesn’t love a good bro job every now and again? As Juicy Memes identified, anything can happen after a few craft beers (forget Canadian club, daddy raised us on the good stuff).

Hi Canta, Hopefully you guys have some idea of what Dr Rodd was talking about in that email he sent recently regarding some partnership between us and Lincoln Uni. Should we care about this? He was pretty vague about what was actually changing. However, it sounded kind of a big deal- especially because he felt the need to tell us that “this has no immediate impact on your enrolment at UC”. I wasn’t worried about that before, but now I’m concerned. Does this mean we are going to have to accept sheep and wannabe farmers as part of the daily campus view? I would email Rodd myself, but I am but a lowly student and he is pretty much the King of UC, so was hoping CANTA could do some investigating.

Yours, College House Minister for Public Affairs.

Thanks -Don’t wanna be a Sheep

Ohhhh honey. Ohhhhhh HONEYYYY. HON? EYYYY. We’ve asked Liam, who writes Broken News to reply to this one:

Hey Sheep Hater,

Hi College House, Thanks for the response to my article, I’m so pleased at the positive reception! Have any of you told your parents they’re wasting $275? (Well… College House parents pay for literally everything, so I doubt any of you have). But hey, I can’t say much. I’ve been paying my neighbour’s grandma to pose as my girlfriend at family engagements for the last year and a half. So, if you’re ever keen for some brojobbing after a few craft beers, hit me up. I’m all for sharing the love. Thanks, Liam. P.S: Of course, you have a ‘Minister for Public Affairs’.

Look – nothing ever happens fast here. That education building has been in construction for close to 19 years! I ate a sandwich from Café 101 yesterday that was made in 1992! I started CANTA in 1930! I don’t think you have anything to worry about, unless your degree is 7-10 years long, and if it was – the problem really is with your inability to integrate into adult life. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Hi, I’m just lying out by the cherry blossom trees and caught a photo of this little dude. Looks like he/she is deliberately posing for me. DJ

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NEWS CONGRATULATIONS EKANT

University of Canterbury Associate Professor Ekant Veer, from the College of Business & Law’s Management, Marketing, and Entrepreneurship department, has been awarded New Zealand tertiary teaching excellence honours in a ceremony at Parliament last night. Associate Professor Veer received a Sustained Excellence in Tertiary Teaching award from Ako Aotearoa National Centre for Tertiary Teaching Excellence, presented last night at a parliamentary ceremony by the Minister of Education, Chris Hipkins. The award represents years of commitment and support for learners that go far beyond good teaching practice. Associate Professor Veer says his passion for teaching is inspired by the work of his grandfather who, despite growing up in poverty in India, sought education and succeeded in law. His grandfather gave back to his village and adopted city of Muzaffarnagar by building schools that enabled thousands of Indian children – especially girls – to access education and escape poverty.  He now teaches and fights for equity and fairness as a sign of respect for his grandfather’s work as an educational activist, he says.

“I teach because I am the product of education as a social elevator. Without education I would not be where I am,” Associate Professor Veer says. Associate Professor Veer joined the University of Canterbury in 2010 from the University of Bath in the United Kingdom. He started out in business after his undergraduate studies at Waikato Business School, but soon returned to academia, realising that the greatest impact on his life had come from teachers, rather than business leaders. Associate Professor Veer has a track record of teaching excellence, both in New Zealand and prior to that at the University of Bath.  He has previously been recognised with a UC Teaching Award and five Lecturer of the Year Awards from the UCSA since 2010.  Last year he was presented with UC’s Teaching Medal for 2017. The Teaching Medal is awarded in recognition of an outstanding and sustained contribution to teaching at UC. The University’s highest award for teaching excellence is only awarded from time to time, and has been awarded 10 times in total.

SFEED LAW LAW WITHOUT WITHOUT LAWYERS: LAWYERS: DOES DOES LEGAL LEGAL EDUCATION EDUCATION HAVE HAVE A A FUTURE? FUTURE? sor John Hopkins of the University of Canterbury School of Law. “From Blockchain to ‘Alternative’ Dispute Resolution, the way appears open for a legal system without the need for the high priests of the legal profession to navigate it,” Professor Hopkins says. “If current trends continue, the much maligned profession may die out, all on its own.” Given that the profession is facing such an existentialist threat, what does the future hold for legal academia? Based upon the author’s published work, tonight’s UC Connect public lecture – Law without lawyers: does legal education have a future? – argues that the legal academy’s future is assured but will be very different from its recent past. Successful law schools will be those that shrug off their isolationist exceptionalism and embrace a multi-disciplinary future, Professor Hopkins says. “In effect, the changing relationship between law and society will drive legal education back to its academic roots. The future of legal academia is the study of law, not the training of lawyers.” Lawyers are not popular, as Shakespeare’s most famous and much-repeated quote makes clear. However, the changing nature of law means that the exhortations of Dick the Butcher to “kill all the lawyers” may no longer be necessary. The increasing cost of legal advice and the excessive formality of the legal system has left the way open for alternative ways to undertake the ‘law jobs’, without the need of lawyers, according to Profes-

John Hopkins is Professor of Law in the School of Law, College of Business & Law, at the University of Canterbury. He specialises in comparative public law, international governance and administrative justice as well as writing on the subject of legal education generally. His recent work has focussed on the role of law in the governance of disasters.

CANTA’S

BROKEN NEWS UCSA President Stood Up on CANTA Blind Date The UCSA president has been left heartbroken after his one chance at love failed. The president, who has been seeking love after being denied spots on the Bachelor, Love Island, and Married At First Sight, was desperate for the chance at a blind date. After 8 hours of waiting, the president finally determined that he had in fact been stood up and would be going home alone.

However, this did not put off the president’s thirst and hunger, as the whole voucher was subsequently used. “I don’t get it, I am THEEEE president!” said the president. “If anyone is interested though, please email big.d4wg@ucsa.org.nz and we can try again.” he added. `

Student Who Thinks Tea Party Costume is “Original” is Fifth Person to Think of it. A student who thought he had struck gold with his meme-inspired costume idea was disappointed to find out this week he was not the first to think of it. The student, who forgot other people also look at memes, suggested his idea only to discover it was not that original. “It’s totally a great costume!” exclaimed the student.

“Not only is it an original idea, it’s also a meme! Which means it’s sooo relevant at the moment!” said the student, not realising the irony that it was therefore probably not that original. The student was also confused to learn that Tea Party had been around since at least 2000, meaning costumes and humour predated the invention of the meme.

‘Nudes for Noodles’ Campaign Ends in Disaster.

9 New UC Vice-Chancellor Looking Forward to Relaxing Holiday

A student-led campaign to bring back $2 noodles ended in disaster for all who were involved.

UC’s new vice-chancellor is looking forward to her new holiday here in Christchurch, starting next year.

An attempt at a nude calendar that is part of a campaign to bring back $2 noodles has ended in embarrassment, chafing, and third-degree burns for the nude models.

Another nude model, who emerged himself into a bathtub of noodles, was rushed to hospital with severe burns and a sodium overdose. When questioned about the disastrous photo shoot, a campaign spokesperson said everything would’ve gone to plan if the sweet chilli sauce didn’t cost extra.

“Dry noodles rub really badly against the skin.” said one model.

“I can’t wait to start my relaxing new position here in Christchurch” said the new vice-chancellor.

a university with roughly 60,000 students. “To work at a university like Canterbury, where the biggest protest is three interpretive dancers in the quad, is a total dream come true! It’ll be like a big holiday!”

With her position at the University of Pretoria ending at the end of the year, the Vice-Chancellor is looking forward to downsizing from

HE THIS IS T KE FA F**KING NEWS!!!

Nuts & Bolts Following New Trend of Food in Bowls Eng Core food outlet, Nuts & Bolts, has experienced what it’s like to be one of the most popular locations on campus.

The dish follows the hot, new, and popular trend of putting food in bowls.

Nuts & Bolts has gained incredible popularity this year following their idea to put food into a bowl.

“It’s such a stylish trend, and makes food so grammable” said a Nuts & Bolts worker

At an incredibly cheap $10, the ‘Big Rice Bowl’, is a collection of meat, rice, and salad in a bowl.

“I hated eating food on flat surfaces”

Hurry Only 300 Left

the wok Hey Appetizers! Welcome to this week’s edition of Ben Apple Teeth and the final installment of the Undercroft foodcourt trilogy. I finally headed to a place that needs no introduction, The Wok.

With my allotted $20 I purchased six spring rolls ($2.60), two calamari (70c each), one of each sauce (at 50c each), seven wontons ($4.20, one for each sauce), three camembert balls ($1 each) and, of course, one (1) $2 rice. And with all that, I still had $3.60 left over!

THAT $2 RICE FEELING.

I love the deep fried camembert balls. It’s really just cheese with extra cronch. They’re devilishly delicious, but I expect eating more than four means about a day at the gym. Cholesterol? Trivago. The Wok’s spring rolls are similarly crunchy and greasy, but instead are filled with vegetables. The liquescent sweet and sour sauce worked well to counter balance the brittle spring roll, which was shockingly, quote unquote ‘sweet and sour’. Spring rolls come in sixes at The Wok and are a fairly priced snack. The calamari was divine, as always. While they can get a bit sinewy as the day goes on, they remain my favourite Wok menu item: salt and pepper perfection. Calamari with aioli is my Wok OTP. Tartare works wonderfully too, and to me was pleasantly more lemony than expected. I’m sorry to report that Tim said aioli is just egg nut.

MY MIGHTY HAUL. THANKS TO TIM AND REBECCA FOR EATING IT ALL WITH ME (AND BUYING SOME FOOD ON MY BEHALF TO EVADE THE STAFF WHO KNOW WHAT’S UP WHEN I APPROACH THE TILL WITH A BIG

The wontons had a crunch as usual with Wok snacks, but had a more meaty and umami flavour than its menu peers. They were a bit watery, but matched with the right sauce (such as BBQ, for example) they’re a solid purchase. Spicy plum sauce is my favourite sauce, and works wonders with everything including wontons (or at least I tell myself that…).

ORDER…)

Now, time for a controversial topic; $2 rice. After a few bites I find it gets very gluggy and hard to stomach, so (like how I think most students enjoy the gold-coin meal) I suggest eating with haste. Other than that, I think $2 rice is great. It provides a cheap and reasonably substantial meal for those in a pinch, is packed with peas, carrots, and corn, and is unequivocally iconic. A few notes before I sign off…I apologise for not getting a curry

or stew from The Wok. They just didn’t add up with my $20, but send a letter to the editor if I should try them. Shout out to my admirer in the last CANTA issue too, although I’m sorry to say I only enjoy $2 noodles every once in a while… Overall, what can one say about The Wok other than that it remains the greatest influence on UC student diets, and for good reason.

10 OUT OF 10 Bens

Street Eats

Portershed Cafe Walk down Addington’s busy, crazy and at times eclectic Lincoln Road and if you’re ‘hard stepping’ you may miss the opportunity of a lifetime. The Portershed Speciality Café is a cool drink of water on a hot day; a soothing head massage; a compliment that inspires blushes; a lush dark, velvety slice of cake, the whisper of a kiss and of course a very stylee and completely vegan / vegetarian café. When you walk through the double doors, you leave the roar and chaos behind while the contemplative; relaxing vibe gently entices you into its richly calm embrace, like a long lost friend – ahhhh! Back in the day, there used to be a TV show called Bagpuss. It was a children’s series about a saggy, old wise, cloth cat, who was a bit loose at the seams. He lived in the window of a little curio shop on a high street, which through magic, invited in, only the customers able to slow down and take stock of the mindfulness of life. Well to me, The Portershed Café is exactly the same. Luckily for me, today, I felt the magic. WHERE ON THE STREET: 332 Lincoln Road, Addington, Christchurch FOODAGE: Where do I start. Well, firstly I’d like to compliment the genuine sincerity of the staff, who were open, smiling, full of positive energy and happy to adapt my lunch choice of Corn Fritters, replacing the side of soda bread with a delicious cheesy rosti – yum. Also, please take some time to listen to the music, which is very subtle until you find yourself tapping your feet and singing along (good choice there Portershed). Ok, sorry, I know I’m supposed to be talking about the menu, so let’s turn that carnivore frown, upside down and get cranking. The double sided spread is fabulously full of ‘what to choose’moments including a daily ‘Special’s’ menu. If you want to grab and go, the cabinet food is tantalizingly seductive with plenty to choose from whether savoury or sweet. While you’re basking in your new found ‘non-muggle magic’check out the range of hot beverages, teas, shakes, chilled fridge selection and of course a beautiful palette of colourful latte’s : Red & Green Antioxidant and Coconut Tumeric.

I also want to mention the many curio, glass fronted, antique cabinets housing a variety of items and ingredients from bottles of Hickory Liquid Smoke, Steel Straws, Lolly Mixtures, tins of Coconut Cream (for Whipping), Dehydrated Citrus slices and many, many more amazingly cool vegan deli delights. All hugged together by walls laden with a library of well-lovedbooks. Fillthe Trap: The menu includes Housemade Ground Granola ($12), Acai Berry Bowl ($14) Breakfast Burger with water chestnut patty, dairy free cheddar hash, and all the greens and pickles ($16 + $4 with chips). I’m going back for the 9 Curried Dumplings ($14) and the usual suspects to ‘Add On’ : hash, cheddar hash, toast, chips, fried tomatoes plus a few more (Nom, Nom). As previously mentioned a beautiful selection of cold drinks : smoothies ($8.50), thickshakes (including salted caramel -$8.50 + an expresso shot $3.00), frappe, iced coffee and homemade ginger ale. If you’re feeling like you need a pick-me-up try a Green Shot (wheatgrass, barleygrass, green pea, broccoli sprout, spearmint powder) to reboot your day. Or engage with your inner vegan vamp - Red Shot (boysenberry powder) $3.50.

www.jaxfoodhax.com

@jaxfoodhax

TIME MR WOLF: Opens 8am – 4pm : Monday – Saturday (closed on Sunday) All in all, a thoroughly gorgeous experience. Portershed Cafe I’lll be back, you’ve inspired me to slow my day down, to think less and to be and feel more. Thank you. For banging vegan and vegetarian recipes, head to www.jaxfoodhax.com also, whilst there you’ll find a fabulous selection of Hax including spice mixes, hints, tips, tricks and the best ever cooking episodes to help make your cooking prep fun and full of love. Bahahahaah – big love, stay gold. Jax

www.jaxfoodhax.com @jaxfoodhax

@jaxfoodhax

club promot PROFILING THE BEST CLUBS AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS

musoc FIVE REASONS WE CHOSE HEATHERS: 1.

We wanted female leads (because men ain’t shit and our last show Guys and Dolls was full of them).

2. We’re a small theatre company who can afford to do riskier shows. While Showbiz whips out a revolving set for Les Miserables and The Court stages Andrew Lloyd Webber, we wanted to do something more intimate and less well-known.

3. At it’s core, the show is about how absolutely awful high-school is, and we all get that. While some of the actions the characters take are extreme, the feeings and motivations behind them aren’t – we’ve all wanted to take down the popular kid, not all of us followed through.

4. Based on the 80s cult film starring Winona Ryder. Winona Ryder. That’s the only reason we really needed. 5.

The show deals with difficult stuff – it doesn’t always deal with it well, but it definitely deals with it. We wanted a show that would provoke conversation (and not just ‘the Jack Mann is an awful theatre, why are they still doing shows here?’), and we reckon this show will do it. Theatre is at its best when it’s dealing with relevant topics, and since suicide, bullying and gun violence are topics that don’t ever leave our Facebook feeds, this show is gonna be worth staging for a long while yet.

HEATHERS RUNS 27 SEPT – 6 OCT. GET TICKETS AT MUSOC.ORG.NZ/TICKETS

oter healthy mind society HEALTHY MIND SOCIETY INTERVIEW – CLUBS PROMOTER Mental health is a topic that touches all of us in unique ways. Whether the stresses of university are getting you down, or a more serious matter is staring you right in the face, caring for your mental health is incredibly important. Healthy Mind Society encourages us all to do just that. When and how did Healthy Mind Society come about? What does the club stand for, its visions, goals, and purpose? Healthy Mind Society was formed in November of 2017, consisting of 20 members to make us an official club. All of the members of the exec are very passionate about mental health and noticed the lack of mental health directed clubs and campaigns in our university, with the exception of Mental Health Awareness Week and Suicide Prevention Day and given the need and our shared passion, we decided to form this club. We are dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling in the area of mental health. We exist to encourage, inform, inspire and advocate for mental health awareness. We also want to make a difference in the lives and mental health of the students on our campus. It’s awesome knowing there are clubs on campus like Healthy Mind Society! I take it 2018 has been a jam-packed year full of highlights!? It definitely has. Since the beginning of this year, we’ve had over 200 members join our ranks, which is much more than we could’ve hoped for in our first year as a club. We started off the year with a picnic and nature walk (pictured), as well as having a paint ‘n’ sip night, a movie night, a few discussion forums, a great bake sale, and a suicide prevention workshop, which had a great turnout and was a really interesting course. Incredible! With such sudden growth, there’s nothing stopping Healthy Mind Society! What does the future hold? We are planning another discussion forum for this coming term, and we currently have a Give A Little campaign for buddy boxes,

which are self-care boxes filled with resources specific to a mental health issue such as a box specifically designed to be filled with resources and goodies benefiting those struggling with anxiety, or one designed for people struggling with depression, etc. We hope to have these buddy boxes continuing next year. We are also currently planning Mental Health Awareness Week, which is coming up from 8-14 October. We will be running events over the 5 weekdays of that week, with each event having to do with one of the five ways to wellbeing. We will advertise the details of these events closer to the time. We are also always on the lookout for passionate leaders who are also passionate about mental health who would be keen to join the exec for next year, and anyone who would be keen is welcome to get in touch with us by either messaging our page on Facebook or sending us and email at healthymindsoc@gmail.com. We also have an Instagram account (@healthymindsociety) where we post encouraging content and reminders for our upcoming events. To wrap up, do you have any suggestions for little things we could all do to improve our mental health? Even though we all have very busy schedules with all of our lectures, assignments, tests and other commitments, it is always healthy to take time out and go for a walk, or just do something that relaxes you, like listening to music or reading a good book. Mental health is just as important as physical health, so it is important to make sure you look after your mental health. Even spending a few minutes a day doing something that is relaxing to you can benefit your mental health. Talking about what is going in your life is also really important, because you wouldn’t ignore a broken leg, so don’t ignore what is going on in your mental health. Talk to someone you really trust, like a good friend or a family member. Also ask your friends how they are doing and really care about their answer. Sometimes just an ear to listen is exactly what someone needs. Having communities that care is the best step to helping everyone. Thank you so much for your time! Thank you for putting us in CANTA!

club promoter PROFILING THE BEST CLUBS AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS

ucgs

Kia Ora from the University of Canterbury’s Global Society! UCGS is a non-profit club at the University of Canterbury founded in 2015. We as a club, quite simply stand for two strong values: Motivating diversity and bringing people together; through this we aim to help students get the most out of their time here at UC. Our mission is to promote diversity on campus and the wider community, to bring together international and domestic students in a variety of social and educational environments, in order to seed and grow new friendships and experiences for all. We do this by hosting a variety of fun social and educational events throughout the year, including one medium sized social event a term, which ranges from bowling nights, BYOs, and quiz nights; as well as one large social event, which by tradition has been a grand ball or themed party – a night to dress up to the nines and bring out those fabulous dance moves, surrounded with some good music & good people. We also embrace diversity and unity through the celebration of food, and so we participate in the night food market, held during the course of the year. We work closely with the University of Canterbury International College (UCIC) and Christchurch College of English Language (CCEL), guiding new students around campus and on city tours as part of their orientation. UCGS also hosts seminars throughout the year, including a diversity Q&A with the vice chancellor and career activator seminar in collaboration with UC Careers. We encourage all interested to get involved with UCGS and our events. Stay in touch with us and receive news and updates via our Facebook page, For any questions feel free to shout out to UCGS!

Engineers Without Borders NZ is a member based not for profit organization with the aim of creating systematic change through humanitarian engineering. The Canterbury students chapter hosts fun events, and we still have lots coming up before the end of the year. These include speaker evenings, the annual duck race AND much more! This year’s duck race is being held in October and involves racing themed rubber ducks down the Avon River. There’s spot prizes for the best dressed duck and winners. Being engaged with EWBNZ gives you the chance to meet like-minded individuals and offers networking opportunities so you can meet people from industry. Join EWB to have access to all these events. Non-engineers are welcome! Visit www.facebook.com/EWBNZ or http://www.ewb.org.nz for more information.

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I S YO U R S N A P H E R E ?

YO U ’ V E W O N A Q U I C K TA P C A R D ! IT’S LOAD E D W ITH 5 FR E E D R I N KS FROM C A M PUS V E N D I N G M AC H I N ES!* C O N TA C T C A N TA . E D I T O R @ G M A I L . C O M T O C L A I M YO U R S ! *One card per issue

UC PHARMACY THE SNEEZING SEASON Spring is here now and we are starting to enjoy some good weather. Unfortunately the triggers that cause sneezing, itchy throats, runny or blocked noses and itchy, watery eyes are in full swing. It’s called hay fever, although the correct term is seasonal (or perennial) allergic rhinitis. The seasonal variety is an allergic reaction to substances such as pollens, which get into the upper respiratory passages – the nose, sinuses, throat and also the eyes. The perennial variety is a similar allergy, but it occurs all year round and is caused by allergy to things such as house dust mites, moulds and animal dander. There is no cure for hay fever, but it can be controlled with the correct combination of medicines to suit your symptoms and lifestyle. The range of treatments continues to grow – antihistamine tablets, nasal sprays, eye drops – but don’t be daunted by the choice. David and Lisa at Uni Pharmacy can guide you through the remedies available to ensure you get a tailormade solution to your hay fever symptoms. ANTIHISTAMINE TABLETS - reduce the histamine your body produces to the allergen, from causing the allergic symptoms. Some of these products can cause drowsiness, but newer generation antihistamine medicines have been developed that cause less, or no drowsiness. NASAL SPRAYS - help clear a stuffy, runny, or itchy nose and stop sneezing. But there are many choices. Antihistamine nasal products work quickly to relieve sneezing, itching and runny nose, but have no effect on other symptoms such as itchy eyes. Nasal corticosteroids reduce inflammation in the nose and will relieve most nasal symptoms as well as eye symptoms. Nasal corticosteroids should be started a week before the pollen season, but its not too late to start now for a more comfortable Christmas. EYE DROPS – antihistamine eye drops give quick relief from itchy, red, watery eyes and are best if eye symptoms are your biggest problem. Cromoglicate eye drops need to be used regularly to prevent the allergic reaction occurring. OTHER TIPS - Start treatment early (using treatments up to two weeks before peak pollen times can help) - Wear a hat and wraparound sunglasses to minimise pollen exposure to the eyes - Monitor pollen forecasts daily and stay indoors wherever possible when the count is high (generally on warmer, dry days). Rain washes pollen from the air so counts should be lower on cooler, wet days - On high pollen days, shower and wash your hair after arriving home and change your clothing - Avoid drying washing on a clothes-line outside when pollen counts are high - Keep windows and doors closed to avoid the amount of pollen that enters your home or workplace With so many options and everyone’s symptoms affecting them differently, have a chat to us about the best approach to managing your hay fever. David & Lisa Erdman

Athlete Profile - Nick Healy the most random one. We were pretty much hooked straight away. Four of us are still playing and we’ve all stayed friends since”.

This week I sat down with Nick Healy, to talk about how he became a World Champion, where he’s headed next and how he manages to balance world class sporting achievements with the demands study. Nick is a mechanical engineering student in his third professional year and is also a standout member of two World Champion Under Water Hockey teams; the u23 men’s teams which won the World Championship in 2017 and the New Zealand Elite men’s team which was undefeated at the World Championships earlier this year. For readers who aren’t aware of what Underwater Hockey is, it’s played at the bottom of a swimming pool by two teams of six who use sticks to shoot a 1.5kg puck through a goal at either end. As a noncontact sport, it relies on skill, speed and being very good at holding your breath. Players often push themselves on the breath holding and even top-level players like Nick admit to having blacked out once or twice during training. Like most athletes, Nick has been playing sport all his life, but he didn’t start underwater hockey until high-school. Having signed up to rugby, cricket and basketball, he and four friends decided to sign up to a water-based sport since none of them had tried that before. “The options were water-polo or underwater hockey, and we figured we may as well pick

Nick and his friends played throughout school, until in 2012, whilst only 16, Nick got a trial and was selected for the New Zealand u23 men’s team, in 2015 he went a step beyond and was selected for the Elite (adult) men’s team. He’s remained in both teams ever since, traveling to various world tournaments in Hungary, Spain, South Africa and Canada. There have been ups and downs along the way, including a disappointing result at the 2016 World Champs in South Africa. “We were the favourites of the tournament, and won every game in the round robin, but our quarter final against Great Britain was a blowout, we were up 4-0 at half time and lost 4-5”, a disappointing result to be sure. However, they more than redeemed themselves earlier this year in Montreal where they dealt with a series of challenges, including sweltering 34-degree days and a 3-meter-deep pool, much deeper than the 2 meters they usually trained with. “The pool was a huge change, but we managed to overcome it. We play a more open style of the game and the depth gave us more space to play the way we wanted”. The men’s team remained undefeated throughout the tournament, beating France 3-0 in the final to became World Champions, with Nick scoring the final goal. The lead up to World Champs is a long one, the team was selected in early 2017, there were seven training camps, countless hours at regular trainings, which can put a strain on studies. Since it’s a self-funded sport, Nick spent his holidays and weekends

working to pay for travel expenses. All of that can be a lot to take on by yourself

which is why UC Sport and the UCSA gave him a helping hand “The UC athlete programme was great; Mark and the team were super helpful and provide awesome facilities and the UCSA funding was terrific and helped allow me to focus on study and training”. Being proactive about planning course work around training is key to Nick’s success. Nick has high hopes for the future of Underwater Hockey. The sport is growing and is working towards becoming an Olympic sport. Despite all the challenges and the immense amount of work that goes into being in a top-level team, Nick doesn’t to have any intention of retiring, he was grinning as he said, “Next year is u23 champs, and we want to defend that title, then there’s the men’s worlds in 2020 so we’ll have to defend that too!” The Christchurch Underwater Hockey club is affiliated with the UCSA, and you can find out more on the UCSA clubs page. Training, Study and a Social Life can be a lot to manage, and the UC Sports Academy has a hand in helping student athletes like Nick balance their various commitments. A program run by UC sport, it aims to provide performance support and services to high performing student-athletes who compete at a regional or national level. You can find out more at http://www.canterbury.ac.nz/sport/ sportsacademy/

ROBERT BROWNLEE

Are New Zealand Universities

Failing their International

STudents?? A LOOK INTO THE PASTORAL CARE AGREEMENT AND HOW STUDENT SAFE MAY NOT BE PROVIDING THE COVER YOU THINK IT IS. I am an international student currently undertaking a PhD. Very shortly after starting my studies I fell while out tramping and have been dealing with the consequences ever since. Currently awaiting my second surgery in as many years, I have become suddenly aware that my health insurance may not be covering all that I thought it would when the University of Canterbury recommended it to me. Now facing legal fees or having to pay outright for a surgery that multiple medical professionals have stated I need, this is a run down on how my pastoral care may have been violated and ongoing fight to ensure more students donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fall into this trap.

It is a requirement that all international students coming to New Zealand to study must have insurance. As far as medical costs are concerned this is because these students will be unable to access most fee free healthcare and may still need to pay for some services on top of what ACC may cover. The Guidelines for the Education (Pastoral Care of International Students) Code of Practice 2016 – Tertiary sums this up as ‘The aim of insurance cover is to protect students from significant financial costs arising from incidents’. One of the main providers of this cover is Allianz in the form of their StudentSafe insurance. Covering everything from damaged phones to repatriation of bodies, their insurance seems fairly comprehensive. Which may explain why the health centres at the University of Auckland, University of Waikato, Auckland University of Technology, Massey University (Albany, Palmerstone North and Wellington) Victoria University of Wellington, University of Canterbury, Lincoln University and University of Otago all use StudentSafe and why it was the recommended insurance to incoming international students at UC. Admittedly I did not look through the small print when signing up, instead after looking through the small brochure offered to me by the university I signed up. It was only when ACC declined my second surgery that I realised the importance of fine print. I applied for pre-approval of surgery to Allianz only to be rejected as the accident had happened over a year ago. They informed me they had been wrongly covering my expenses far longer than this and that from now on they would be unable to provide assistance. I was distraught. I really need this surgery but without the insurance I was left the options to hire a lawyer to fight ACC or try to find $20,000 to pay my medical bills. I am a student. I don’t have that kind of money.

If I were not in a fortunate enough place where my parents may be able to cover my costs this would be the end of my studies. UC’s investment in me over the past 3 years would be wasted and my time in New Zealand over. While I take full responsibility for not reading the fine print it does raise the question of whether my pastoral care is being met. As stated above the guidelines indicate that the purpose of insurance is to prevent students having to face unexpected medical costs. StudentSafe are refusing to do this and, as the recommended insurer of UC, that questions University of Canterbury’s (and any other institution recommending this insurance) upkeep of the Pastoral Care agreement. It also leaves all international students enrolled in courses longer than a year in the lurch if they are unfortunate enough to sustain injuries that require repeated medical intervention. In a country that prides itself in outdoor pursuits and encourages students to experience New Zealand to its fullest, it seems wrong that the recommended student insurance won’t cover you when something goes really wrong. Furthermore, the section of the UC website that outlines the insurance needs of International students not only fails to inform students that they are only covered for a year with StudentSafe but also omits the longer version of the policy document that outlines this caveat. While I am hopeful that my case may lead to change within UC (I am in communication with multiple people within the university) it is still imperative that international students realise the precarious position they may be in. Preferably before it’s too late. I reached out to UC for comment but am yet to receive a statement at this time.

GABBY WATSON

CANTA Q AND A THE BARTER BARBER

Bobo The Poodle and Sam the human are traveling around New Zealand, to every town in the country. Trading haircuts for food and petrol and using their time to talk to Kiwi men about communication, mental health and masculinity. Sam is heading down south, here to UC for a couple of days for Mental Health Awareness week. CANTA caught up with him, while he was out on the road. CANTA: What’s your background? What spurred you on to take this journey? SAM: I’ve been barbering for thirteen years, here and internationally, Working exclusively with men, I noticed we had some real issues with communication here in New Zealand, and that we’re almost inherently frustrated. After more than just a few suicides of friends and clients, and a change in mental health policy in the previous government I felt compelled to do something. C: The concept of the Barter Barber – talk me through it, let me know what the vibe is. S: The Barter Barber is a project which is visiting every township in New Zealand, trading products, services and experiences rather than money for haircuts. We use this time to have a honest and open conversation about our mental health, a bit of literacy around our own and how do we reach out to our brothers when they’re in need. C: Tell us where you’ve been! Is this your first time bringing TBB down to the South Island? S: We’ve been to The Bay of Plenty, Central regions, Northland, Waikato, Dorkland so far! We popped down south when I was

working with Feildays earlier in the year and was hanging around Winton, but this will be the first time coming down with the Big Rig and the Doggo! C: Putting yourself out there in a public forum like this can be daunting. How have you managed to keep it real, so to speak? S: All I’m trying to do is start a conversation. A conversation that takes a lot of vulnerability. You can’t ask for vulnerability without showing it first. If I am inauthentic it shows through, so all I can do is tell my story, show others stories and try to break down the isolation a lot of us feel. C: You’re encouraging conversations around ‘communication, mental health and masculinity. Changing a culture with an ultimate goal of suicide prevention’. Why? S: Because I believe that changing our culture of men from a “Harden up, Man up” stance will give our men more strength, It’s a redefining of what we consider important. And healthy happy, less frustrated men who can articulate where they’re at and if need be get help before it becomes another horrible statistic of someone who feels they’re in it all alone.

C: Do you come across any difficult situations? S: All the time. Everyone has battles going on, one person’s battles to them are just as big as the person next to them. It’s all perspective. Treat every battle as important. It’s not for me to fix anyones issues, but give them a place to be able to articulate them, a lot of the time once we feel heard, that’s all we need. By putting our stuff into words, it turns from that horrible feeling in your stomach to something tanageable and more achievable.

C: What happens when you’ve ‘done’ the whole country? Do you start again? S: When I’m done I want to start youth centres, safe enviroments places where kids are able to be kids and learn to be future good humans C: If you could talk to a younger you, what would you say?

C: What’s hard about what you do?

S: Chill out homeslice, Nobody really knows whats going on, You do you, boo.

S: Living completely from Barter definitely has its ups and downs and so does talking to so many people all the time, To be fair its also one of the easiest parts, being able to watch the positives and see many peoples passions and triumphs.

SAM, THE BARTER BARBER WILL BE ON CAMPUS FOR MENTAL HEALTH AWARNESS WEEK. KEEP AN EYE ON THE UCSA SOCIALS FOR MORE INFO- YOU CAN BOOK IN FOR A CHAT AND A CUT!

C: Any noteworthy stories that come to mind?

SUPPORT SAM AND BOBO ON THEIR JOURNEY:

S: Anything said in my chair stays in the chair so it’s always between us, but I’ve traded haircuts for everything! From my current house truck to a Harley Davidson!

HTTPS://WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/PG/THEBARTERBARBER HTTPS://WWW.PATREON.COM/THEBARTERBARBER

JOSHUA BROSNAHAN

24 18

Chateau au RattrĂŠ

T’ ‘FLAT NIGHT OU RATTRE WON A AND BEER THE CHATEAU AU OD FO R FO ERY BREW AT HARRINGTONS EAKER TO TAKE O DOZEN ICEBR TASTING, AND TW HOME!

A? UR FLAT IN CANT WANT TO SEE YO

O.NZ

CANTA@CANTA.C

SYVAANA: - Designated Grumpy Grandpa - Constantly napping - Lowkey Communist - Has a mug collection - Easily startled - Loves a good cuppa (whiskey) - “Why do you hate poor people?”

MEG: -Wine Mom -Listens to HSM unironically -Has never missed a flat shop -Taylor Swift’s biggest fan -Proudly takes lift from second to third floor of the library -Vegan™ -“Where’s Sam?”

SAM:

GRACE: - The Smol One - Thinks aoli goes with everything - No inside voice - First one to mention Big Gary’s on a night out - Sensitive - Loves a tropical scrumpy - “T R I G G E R E D.”

- The Distant Father - Leaves heater on then goes to F45 - Blue Star Rating on Trade Me - The only one who knows how to use plumbing tape - Fav movie is the Demi Lovato doco - Autocorrect can’t even save her incoherent texts - “Put my leftovers in the fridge.”

Photography by JAVA KATZUR

JUSTICE FOR TERRI: HOW I HELPED A FRIEND QUASH HER WRONGFUL CONVICTION I learned Terri Friesen’s story through a television programme called “I Am Innocent.” In 1989, she was charged with manslaughter for the death of her sevenweek-old baby Chantelle. People who hear the story always want to know- why would a woman confess to a crime she never committed? Terri told me during questioning the police shook a doll violently in front of her and said, “this is what happened to your baby.” Up until that point, she believed her baby had died of cot death and was shocked by the news that there had been internal injuries.

I reached out to the production company that had created I Am Innocent. Researcher Sarah Boddy and director Rita Attwood introduced me to Terri after I explained I was a law student who wanted to help. At that point, my plan was to see if there was some technicality for getting her conviction wiped and seek legal help if not.

She was interrogated for hours and said she was told a jury would go easy on her if she confessed whereas her partner would likely be harmed if he went to prison for the crime. She said the breaking point was a threat by police to take her other child away to State care. She confessed to the crime. Not long after, her partner told her he had shaken the baby. She told him to go tell the police and he did. The police decided not to reopen the case and Terri’s conviction remained.

My research began at the UC. I read through legislation, asked law librarian Theresa Buller to help me find Brownie’s sentencing notes and pestered professors Jeremy Finn, Robin Palmer and Henry Holderness for ideas on how to proceed. At one point, I thought the royal prerogative of mercy might hold the answer but before

Remarkably, her partner confessed again thirteen years later and was finally charged and convicted in 2002. Although the judge made it explicitly clear that his actions had caused Chantelle’s death and Terri had no part in the crime, the conviction for manslaughter remained on her record. Terri found out about Brownie’s conviction through a friend who read about it in the news. No one from the court contacted her or made an attempt to explain what that might mean for her conviction. She always assumed it would be automatically quashed but discovered this was not the case when she requested a copy of her criminal record.

I promised Terri I would call every law office in New Zealand until I found someone to represent her and if that didn’t work, I would finish law school, get the requisite experience and take the case myself.

an application is made to the Governor General the applicant is expected to have exhausted all other appeal options. After reading Michael Bennet’s book “In Dark Places”, I learned of Tim McKinnel and his dedication to seeking justice for Teina Pora. Tim spent years fighting for Teina when everyone else had either given up or didn’t want to hear about it. I plucked up the courage to call him about Terri’s case. I made sure he knew that someone else had confessed to the crime and received a conviction. I told him he could see the whole story by watching “I Am Innocent.” He said he was working on some other things at the moment but would try to contact me in the next week. When he hung up I thought that might be the last I ever heard from him. Luckily, that was not the case. I had an email from Tim the next morning saying he would help me. We had a lengthy conversation about the case that evening and met in Auckland not long after to

compare notes and make a plan. By that point he had already found a barrister named Lucy Johnson who ended up taking the case and vowing to work for free if she had to. Although Tim saw some similarities with Teina’s case, Brownie’s double confession and conviction made it unique. Terri gave Tim and me authorization to review her records and speak with her counsel. I sent off to the New Plymouth High Court for her files and received a large bundle of papers a few days later. Many of the documents were hard to read through. Even so, the image of Terri that emerged was of a bright young woman who was working hard to care for her family. I first met Terri at her home in Waitara. She was surrounded by several of her tamariki and mokopuna and they filled the house with laughter and lively chatter. The main reason for this first visit was to deliver a headstone for Chantelle’s grave. I’m proud to say a friend and fellow UC student helped make that possible. In a subsequent visit Tim and I went up to interview Terri and she told us more about her life under domestic violence. From that point on, all our meetings would require rehashing the most painful stories of her past and would leave Terri distressed and in tears. I hated this.

For nearly thirty years, her reputation suffered and earning a living was impossible. No one wanted to keep company with a woman convicted of manslaughter. While she looks fragile, she is clearly in possession of an incredible strength. Through everything, she held her head up and kept on going for the sake of her children. She never stopped dreaming of a better life for them. It took over a year to get a hearing set for Terri in the Court of Appeal. On September 5, Terri, Tim and I flew to Wellington and took our seats at the back of the Court of Appeal. Terri was afraid something bad was going to happen and even I found the courtroom intimidating. When Justice Brown began to read out the summary of her case Terri trembled, and tears poured down her face. I patted her back and tried to focus on what was being said. As we listened we heard these words: Ms. Friesen’s conviction for manslaughter is quashed. And just like that, it was done. Suddenly, a whole new life was before Terri, filled with the best possibilities. I will never forget that day or all the people who came together to make it happen.

KELLY PHILLIPS

The RDU gig guide THE JOHNNYS LOCATION : BLUE SMOKE

MERLINCO EP RELEASE SLY DOG - WITH HOUSEHOLD LOCATION : WUNDERBAR

27 SEP

2018

RYAN FISHERMAN, KATIE THOMPSON & ROB GROVER LOCATION : LYTTELTON RECORDS

29 SEP

2018

PERMANENCE PERFORM THE MUSIC OF JOY DIVISION

28 SEP

2018

LITTLE ANDROMEDA POP UP VENUE LOCATION : LITTLE ANDROMEDA

04 OCT 2018

BACK TO THE 80S : RETRO MUSIC NIGHT LOCATION : ARCADIA

LOCATION : THE CLUB TAVERN

05 OCT 2018

12 OCT 2018

A FEW NOTES: Born in le wrong generation

PauL McCartney - EgypT Station Discounting those people on Twitter who’d listened to the Kanye West/Rihanna joint “Four Five Seconds”, everyone and their mum knows who Sir Paul McCartney is. He was one fourth of the Beatles, he was one fourth or one fifth of Wings, depending on what incarnation you’re talking about, and he is absolutely brilliant in every capacity. Ask me at any time during lectures, lunch, showers and I will gladly extrapolate a multi-pointed presentation on why the Beatles are absolutely still worth the epithet of ‘greatest band to ever bless the unknowing citizens of the planet Earth maybe for all time ever’, and yes, I will fight you if you say they are lame and overhyped. That isn’t to say that Sir Paul, being around for as long as he has, hasn’t put out an uninspiring album or two – for every “II” and “Chaos and Creation in the Backyard” there is inevitably a “Press to Play” or a “Give My Regards to Broadway”. It’s a problem any musician who’s been operating since he was a plucky fifteen-year-old with a duck-arse hairdo and upside-down guitar will face once or twice in their lives. So, it begs the question – where does Macca’s latest sit on the scale of crowning-achievement-to-easily forgettable? “Egypt Station” plays something like a concept album, with a lot of reminiscing about familiar faces and past mistakes, as all aging musicians will one day inevitably gleam upon, your typical McCartney stock. He also finds time for mutterings on getting stoned, the state of world affairs and “Despite Repeated Warnings” that seems to be talking about either the captain of the Titanic or Donald Trump. There’s this one single, “Fuh You”, that garnered a lot of controversy as it is a, ahem, ‘exceptionally raunchy’ ballad that is supposed to sound like the kindling of the sensitive side of a young buck sweet on his gal. The problem is that McCartney, no matter how well intentioned he might be, is in his late seventies, with grandkids, or to put it frankly, someone who shouldn’t be making songs about fuh-ing someone. Annoyingly, “Egyptian Station” isn’t one of those McCartney albums that totally subvert expectations. Macca and his sound’s staying power has been with us for so long, we might have done a very bad thing and gotten used to it.

The Pillows - Rebroadcast In another life, back when I was a scruffy teenager with temper issues and spots (both of which I still sort have, actually), I watched anime from time to time. It’s well documented that we all seem to go thru phases when we’re younger, mine was no different. I grew out of it within the inside of a year, mainly due to compulsion to not be as big a weirdo, but there was one particular series that stuck with me – “FLCL”, pretty much so because it’s OST was done entirely The Pillows, a fantastic band in their own right. Their bouncy bass riffs embedded themselves deep in my cerebellum as something different from that weird lumpy muzak or sweeping orchestral a lot of Japanese animation seems to have. Ignore that gratuitous fanservice and rock out!

Sports - Everyone's Invited With the release of Spielberg’s cgi-eyebleedfest adaptation of “Ready Player One” hitting cinemas earlier this year, it would seem the fad of nostalgia as a feature has reached a noticeable crescendo. Everything popular is now set in the early-to-mid Eighties. We all ride pushbikes and have terrible haircuts. I mean, the president of the United States is still a terrible conservative former actor with possible early-stage Alzheimer’s, right? The same nostalgia-factor present on the latest Sports is duly noted, but it gets a pass for helping to expand on the idea that this is some sort of futuristic affair we’re dealing with.

LEWIS HOBAN

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

Lonely Parade - The Pits Waxahatchee - Great Thunder Muncie Girls - Fixed Ideals

Terry - I’m Terry Orions Belte - Mint Sudakistan - Swedish Cobra

An essay on social media and death You died at Tea Party. Yeah, that’s a dramatic way to start a letter. But I knew you, and I knew your humour. I feel like you’d laugh with me. I was in the middle of the Tea Party crowd. It was tepid. Kind of grey. The weather was neither here nor there. I was in the middle of a crowd, a sea of costumes and face paint and music when I got the news. You were gone. I didn’t see it coming. No one did. Dead? Dead?!

Clarity arrived when I was on the couch at home, staring at the wall. A grey, tepid wall. Grey tepid sky. Grey, tepid heart. What happens in 2018 when someone dies? How do you connect with what is left? I found myself obsessively scrolling through your Facebook, through your Instagram. Reading our messages. Looking at texts. It was like a macabre countdown. Facebook Messenger saying you were active 5 hours ago.

7 hours ago.

My face was flushed. My hearing went. I saw no one, but saw everyone at once. I swam out of the crowd, slow motion. All I saw was that tepid grey sky. I must have been looking up. I really felt like I was under water, trying to get to the surface.

11 hours ago

Just get out. Get out of here immediately. Keep walking.

My notifications came thick and fast. 1. 2. 15. 36. I didn’t want to clear those red reminders. I didn’t want to be told again and again that you’d gone.

I broke the second I got to some semblance of safety. I was on the floor. Noises and feelings coming out of me like I’d never experienced before. Something was trying to break out of my heart. You were dead. I don’t remember my friends hugging me. I remember being on the ground, with waves of shock and disbelief washing over my entire body. I don’t remember my boyfriend picking me up. I do remember repeatedly saying no. No. No? …No.

1 day ago. Nothing.

Your wall filled up with posts. I read them. Judged them. Wrote replies. Deleted them without posting them. I second guessed every little like, comment, reaction. Crying reactions? Fuck you. You hadn’t seen her in a year. I stopped myself from wildly jumping the gun, posting memories or anecdotes. I was fast-tracking through the motions and then whiplashing back to square one.

Once it was published on Stuff, I saw people tag you in the posts. Repeated tagging. I felt like it did you a disservice. The same shit, over and over on your wall. The same opening sentence. Your face. The details. People wanting to show they were connected to you. Is this the new normal? I took a couple of days and I wrote a post on your wall. I kept it light. I kept it different. I shared a pic. Just like everyone else, but hey… I was important. Right? It’s different…. Right? Sad reacts. Multiple sad reacts. For fuck’s sake. A crying emoji seems so banal, given the circumstance. Your profile is a dead profile. A memorial. The floral memorial post prefaces your page. It’s so uncomfortable to see. I know you didn’t like flowers and now there’s one permanently above your profile picture. Our message history seems disjointed and cut up. I swear it’s some sort of highlights reel that Facebook has fucked with. My memories on the daily have your comments, and posts. Your digital ghost pops up so frequently that it seems somewhat normal. I haven’t yet ascertained whether dealing with death in the age of social media helps. I have you at my fingertips, but then I don’t. I can look at your digital imprint, your videos and pictures but you’re gone. I guess I don’t have any choice in the matter really.

NEED TO TALK? FREE CALL OR TEXT 1737 ANY TIME FOR SUPPORT FROM A TRAINED COUNSELLOR  LIFELINE – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) OR FREE TEXT 4357 (HELP) SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) HEALTHLINE – 0800 611 116 SAMARITANS – 0800 726 666

A Christchurch mental health anecdote:

overworked & underfunded Mental health can be a tricky thing to talk about. But thanks to awareness campaigns and people in the spotlight like Sir John Kirwan opening up about their own personal struggles, the landscape of how mental health and mental illness is perceived is shifting—and it’s a shift that is long overdue. In a high-pressure environment like university, where expectations are often being placed upon us from parents, peers, and the harshest critic of all – ourselves – it becomes even more crucial that we participate in the normalisation of the mental health and wellness discussion, so that we can keep ourselves, and our loved ones, safe. Things like self-care, and emphasis on making time for what makes you happy, are gaining further recognition too in regards to safeguarding our mental wellness. Going too long neglecting these things can have unprecedented repercussions, and might lead to us finding ourselves in a mental burnout without even realising that we were on that path. Through my experience of working in the mental health sector, my understanding of wellbeing deepened. I feel it is important to preface this article by stating that my experiences are not definitive of anything, including the mental health system, but rather are merely one interpretation of a complex and underfunded sector of public healthcare. During my brief time working as a mental health support worker at a Christchurch-based NGO, it was my interpretation that the system worked to solve problems for some, but created them for others. When a person finds themselves in the mental health system, and it is decided that they are too unwell or incapable of living independently in the community, they are referred to some form of supported living, of varying degrees depending on the level of the person’s dependency. This can be both a good and a bad thing – for those in the community who are struggling to cope by themselves, this can prevent them from ‘slipping through the cracks’, so that their circumstances might be changed for the better. The bad, or at least not-so-good aspect of this kind of assistance, is that it can lump together at-risk individuals with people who lead very different, and sometimes very erratic lifestyles. In turn, this sometimes had worse implications for some of our clients, some of whom were quite vulnerable. The goings-on of Hillmorton Hospital are a good example of this – every day there are reports of inpatient assaults on fellow patients and hospital staff, and no one should argue that the hospital is the safest place for our vulnerable unwell to be treated. But as I have and will continue to say, the system is complex, and is inherently diseased by the age old problem of having too many people too help, with not enough money to go around. And so it goes.

While I’ve covered a couple of negatives, I would be amiss to ignore the many positives of this expanding culture of mental health open discourse. One of which, is that if sought, support can be just a text, phone call or internet click away. Even on a place like Instagram, users are finding an outlet by branding themselves mental health awareness advocates, and finding empowerment through acceptance of their experiences. Social media platforms have surprisingly proven themselves to be great way of developing support networks among people separated by distance, who under normal circumstances would not have found each other. Even the anonymous observer could find her or himself inspired, motivated and moved by the candid nature of users’ openness about their emotional struggles. For people interested in learning more about mental wellbeing and its challenges, or to find local community supports in Christchurch, I would invite you to browse the MHERC website – that is, the Mental Health Education & Resource Centre. You may be surprised to see just how many different organisations there are for members of the community seeking support or understanding for the challenges faced by themselves or a loved one. There is a multitude of resources including the wonderful MHERC library, where the information is plentiful and the staff are eager to help however they can. The moral of this story is that, even when you cannot see it, there is hope. Even when you feel disconnected, from the world, from the people around you, perhaps even from yourself, the connection remains, waiting to be reignited. The strongest people I have met are people who have been beaten down by their demons, fought back, and won. Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Through experiencing suffering comes understanding of true joy. Let yourself feel all of the pain, and be strengthened by it. Be kind to yourself always. Peace and love, Chloe

http://mherc.org.nz/

wellness watch I T ’ S O K AY T O N O T B E O K AY

Depression is an illness that should be treated like any other physical illness, and the stigma surrounding mental health in New Zealand is appalling. The brain is a part of the body which also has the capability of getting sick, the same way the rest of the body can with various physical conditions or injuries. When you are sick, you go to a doctor, you are given medication or are told of ways to get better and then you’re on your way. Just like the body, the mind can also become ill, and sometimes it’s difficult to acknowledge that it’s a problem until it is too late. Sometimes it felt like I was suffering in silence as it’s not an illness you can physically see happening, and it was a feeling that was difficult to convey and express to others.

Believe or not, it does get better and you’re not alone. I found

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myself a year ago in this position and never in a million years would I have believed anyone if they told me that I would someday cope through everything. I wouldn’t have been in this position today if it weren’t for the support of my family and my two best friends who showed me that it was okay to talk about my feelings, and helped me find the motivation to get up in the morning and function like a human being. It’s times like these where you really discover how people rally together to support a loved one despite feeling as if no one cared about how you felt or that even the littlest problems aren’t worth being heard. No matter how low you’re feeling, there’s always somebody there who is rooting for you and cares about you. It could be your parents, siblings, cousins, someone you haven’t talked to in a while, your lecturers or even your pets (who are surprisingly, very good listeners!) Over the past year I have come across (healthy) ways to cope during times of distress as well as developed skills in the communication of my feelings along the way. It’s the little things such as walking around the block in the morning, writing down three things I’m grateful for each day, to removing myself from unhealthy friendships and habits and starting a new job that I have loved as a Residential Assistant at University Hall. So celebrate the little victories even if it’s just getting out of bed in the morning and doing the dishes or making it to that nasty 8am lecture. Your physical and mental health is more important than what grade you got in assignment or how many parties you get invited to! You begin to realise how beautiful life can be when you start to appreciate the things around you instead of focusing on the negatives, and how strong you actually are. You’ve made it this far, so why give up now? There’s always room to improve and time really does help heal wounds. So go out there, save up for that trip you’ve always wanted to go on, leave that job you always complain about or even just have a cry to your friend about something that you’ve bottled up for too long. Love yourself, be selfish and put yourself first, because you’re worth it.

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It’s a Thursday morning and the alarm goes off, it’s 8.30am with the sun peering through the gap between my curtains, disrupting what felt like an endless slumber. Sleep had felt like an escape from reality lately and oh did it feel so good not having to confront everyday responsibilities, or the fake smiles and the fake “I’m okays.” I closed my eyes, a feeble attempt to return to the dream I had the night before where everything felt stable and normal; happy even. It’s 12pm and I’ve missed my only lecture for the day, a regular occurrence that I had been so mad at myself for but still did anyway. The pile of dishes I had been meaning to clean stared ominously at me in the corner of my room, a sense of guilt rushed over me as I turned over in my bed to avoid its stares. Monday’s to do list was still sitting on my desk waiting to be completed, lying in a sea of stationary, paper and clothes. I close my eyes again and fall asleep, ignoring that rush of guilt through my chest while telling myself that tomorrow’s the day. Except it wasn’t, and this cycle would continue for weeks on end, long before I could even recognise that this was a problem. “Tomorrow’s the day” became a mantra in my head to reassure myself that I had my life together and everything was under control.

Get ED-ucated: Eating Disorders 101 Eating Disorders have the highest mortality rate out of all psychiatric conditions. There are five main types of eating disorder classifications, each slightly different to the other: Anorexia Nervosa; Bulimia Nervosa; Binge Eating Disorder; Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (AFRID); and Disordered Eating.

THE COMMON MYTHS DE-BUNKED:

All people with eating disorders are skinny

Remember – eating disorders are mental illnesses. The physical state of someone only shows the symptoms of the disorder and in no way represents the severity of suffering. Someone severely underweight and someone at a classified “healthy” weight can both be very entrenched and severely ill with their disorders.

You can just get over it by eating food and getting back into a healthy weight for your body

I cannot repeat this enough – eating disorders are mental illnesses! While you cannot recover from an eating disorder without addressing nutrition and weight issues that have resulted from the illness – getting someone to eat enough for their body and be at a healthy weight does not mean they are recovered. In order to recover from an eating disorder, you need to treat the mind – often requiring some time and some deep therapy.

Eating Disorders only happen to females

No mental health issues discriminate. While there the common stereotype of a sufferer of an eating disorder – a while female teenager – this does not mean that most people who suffer from an eating disorder fit this bill. A person of any age, sexuality, gender, culture, or ethnicity can suffer from a mental illness. Yes – this means that your boyfriend, brother, or male mate can have an eating disorder. It also means that you have just the same chance of getting an eating disorder in your early twenties as you do when you are 17 or even 27.

Eating disorders are for attention

People do not choose to get an eating disorder. We do not do this to ourselves for vanity reasons, we do not want get an eating disorder to gain popularity or attention. Eating disorders over a period of time and emerge/ and rev-up when life (for a variety of reasons) turns on its head – they are mainly coping mechanisms that result in food, exercise, restriction, and purging restriction behaviours being used bring a sense of control to an otherwise uncontrollable world.

WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE? Are you answering yes to any of these questions?

- Do you/they avoid social situations around food?

- Do you/they feel the need exercise out of compensation or feelings of guilt?

- Have you/they experienced any otherwise unexplained changes in your/their

usual body weight?

- Do you/they take any diuretics, or self-induce vomit?

- Do you/they constantly body check and make negative statements about it?

- Has any change in levels of mood – anxiety, sadness, anger – occurred not otherwise able to be explained?

- Are you/they obsessed with “clean eating”, and/or only eating certain types food, and/or timing of food?

- Are you/they experiencing any physical symptoms such as – slow heart rate, low energy, constantly cold, lanugo (a

layer of hairs forming on the face/arms/legs beyond what is normal), dizziness, loss of concentration, disruption is

sleep, or dry skin/nails/hair?

WHERE DO I GO FOR HELP?

- Go to your GP or family doctor ASAP – even if you don’t know whether or not you may have an eating disorder, it is

always better to be safe than sorry

- Bring up any concerns you have about yourself anyone you trust – parents, flatmates, friends, partner, sibling

- If you are concerned about someone and feel confident enough to approach them – please do so. It is so crucial to

catch eating disorders in the bud before they exacerbate into a full-blown catastrophe for that person and their life.

Useful websites and blogs:

- Mental Health Foundation New Zealand: https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/

- Eating Disorder Awareness New Zealand: https://www.ed.org.nz/

- St John of God: http://www.sjog.org.nz/sitecore/content/australia/home/our-services/mental-health-and-therapy/eating-

disorders (Eating Disorder Awareness Team referral form: http://www.sjog.org.nz/-/media/files/nz/referral-forms/eating-

awareness-team-referral-form.pdf?la=en&hash=07F41E07ACCC7A9BC6E7676BF67CDD2E451D5C93)

- The Voices of Hope: http://www.thevoicesofhope.org/ (Instagram @voicesofhope)

- Rawing Meg – Mental Health Recovery Blog: https://rawingmeg.wixsite.com/hearmeraw (Instagram @RawingMeg)

- UC Health Centre: For counselling, nutritional, and doctor advice

- UC Disability Resource Service: for those with diagnosed illnesses/disabilities to receive extra help, ensuring your

diagnosis does not limit your ability to learn and achieve

FINAL COMMENTS: Believe me, eating disorders are one hard thing to overcome. As a chronic sufferer of anorexia, I have lived over five years battling this illness – dealing with the loss of friendships, missing out on years of memory-making, isolating myself from the outer world, and having restrictions enforced around my freedom, schooling, and work life. I have spent too many months in hospital, and wasted too much of my life to this illness, and I do not wish for anyone to do the same. You are worthy, you are not alone, you can get help. Your friend, Rawing Meg

YOUNG, DUMB AND WHOLESOME Kombucha drinking, yoga doing, tofu eating millennials… whatever happened

squeezing your daily fruit and vegetable allowance into one, easy to manage

to ‘sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll’?  These tempeh munchers aren’t your typically

drink seemed innocuous, nonetheless, the extreme caloric deficit and

tree huggers… oh no my friend they’re your next-door neighbour, workmate

gnawing hunger pangs increased most dieter’s waistlines and increased the

or worse, even a family member. But when did giving a toss about your

chance of getting hangry by 100%.

well-being actually become a thing? Shouldn’t they be concerned about who their next hookup is as opposed to whether the milk in their turmeric latte is

So after all this malnourishment, why the hell are we berated for being all

low-fat soy?

‘Kimchi and acai bowls’?

In the 90s thin was in. Kate Moss encapsulates the 90s body ethos with the

After years of fighting the thinspiration, the ‘self-love’ and ‘body positivity’

ever-scrutinized quote, ‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. In an era of

movements have finally broken the internet. Influencers and models are

supermodels and super-diets, the decade was nothing but misery for the 95%

coming out on the daily- sharing body insecurities and their own personal

of us who didn’t win the genetic limb lottery.

struggles. Once taboo topics like having body confidence and loving your curves are now celebrated and embraced.

If you were looking to lose the kilos, the 90’s did offer a range of scientifically flawed and outright ridiculous option. For us mere mortals the stereotypical

People care about their health- both mentally and physically. We want to see

model diet of the era, aka cocaine, cigarettes and coffee was not quite office

others thrive, work out, eat healthily and actually take a break when they need

appropriate.

to.

We could, however, a) Only eat grapefruit (I know, this actually was a thing)

No longer are we slave to the treadmill or fad diet, being healthy is on trend.

b) Pop the latest diet pills or c) Forgo any carbs (or fun)- forever.

But it doesn’t have to be just that. Let healthy be enough,  and keep loving yourself at any size, nourishing your body and taking care of yourself no

As the supermodel era drew to a close we were left sad, hungry and prob-

matter what is currently ‘trending’.

ably 10 kilos heavier thanks to binge eating fries after a solid 4-hour low carbing. Thank you very much Mccy D’s. After the Naughty nineties came a

So go on, write another damn article about how millennials are boring twits

much-needed period of detox- right before yet another  ‘retox’.

who mull about on their phones all day and who waste money on smashed avo.

Juicing, cleansing and liquid diets weren’t new in the 2000’s, but oh boy they were in. Thin was trending, but enough to ‘hold onto’ kinda skinny. The prerogative of the juice cleanse was simple: Lose weight, fast. The idea of

E U R O P E E A R LY B I R D

We’re far too busy making raw bliss balls and loving ourselves to notice.

KATIE HARRIS

FLIGHTS, TOURS, CONTIKI & MORE STA TRAVEL CANTERBURY UNI The Undercroft 03 365 3399 canterburyuni@statravel.com

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We’re all in this together. You, me, your friends, your family and everyone around you. Those you love and those you despise. We all have different jobs, different values and different political beliefs. But if we could all take a step back and remind ourselves how valuable human life is. That’d make a little bit of difference today. We can’t sugar coat or avoid the issue. We’ve lost close friends to their own hands, only to have our politicians and leaders turn their back on the facts. It’s understandable, we all see things from different perspectives. But all cultures, races, religions, genders and walks of life deserve equal or better protection for their mental health then we have now. I often think about how I hurt others holding my troubles in. But I’m not the only one and nor is this about me. It’s about us. Let’s stop calling our friends “crazy” and “weak “but just ask them if they’re okay. Let’s not exclude others if they seem “different” or “weird.” Because no matter how open minded or kind we are, if we sweep this monster under the bed it’ll come back to haunt us. The sooner we talk about it the better. It’s not pretty, it won’t sell sponsored brands and look trendy. But it’s a part of human life whether we accept it or not. Mental health is reality and a part of our cultural makeup. Nor is it easy to speak about. There is a stigma whether we accept it or not. But every time we speak up, every time offer our hand to others, that wall breaks down little by little. We can’t have a six month waiting list for public help. Nor can we turn away those with bipolar disorder at the emergency department with a hail Mary Xanax tablet and tell them “maybe you should sleep earlier and not drink coffee.” It’s not social media’s fault and it’s reductive to blame drugs and alcohol. If it’s cheaper to self-medicate than get help, we really need to look at ourselves in the mirror. If we treated the mind the same way we treated our physical injuries, we’d see some beauty in the world right now. This was going to be euphemistic. But that’s a step backwards. No one should feel lesser for who and what they are. If we hide our voices, it defeats the purpose. We have lost too many people to hide in the dark about this. You can’t take back a human life that is gone. As someone who lost a close friend to this, the best we can do now is look after who we have now. They are sons and daughters and human beings and mean so much to us. If you’re a politician or leader of some sort reading this. Why not put some of that stadium money into our mental health. What if that money helps a kid who ends up being our greatest crime novel author or the next Olympic hero? All because their parents didn’t have to choose between waiting nine months for treatment or forking out $400 for it. If you’re feeling down, lonely, hurt or even afraid…It’s okay to feel these things. It’s not weak and what you are is amazing. Keep safe and keep alive, it’s difficult now but things will get better. You can talk about it, and don’t let anyone bring you down for opening up. And if you’re reading this right now, find that friend of yours who hasn’t spoken in a while. They might be having a rough patch, but maybe they’re too scared to ask for help. Be that change. Imagine one day in the future if we could turn that number into a zero. Seems impossible, but anything can be done if we work together. Me? I’m a twenty something who studies and works part time. I have ADHD, Autism Spectrum and OCD and I’m not scared to admit it because I am just like you and you are just like me. If you happen to see me, know that I am here to listen if you need. And I hope you and everyone else will do the same. No matter our differences we all deserve happiness just like one another. We’re all different, but we’re all in this together.

Alex. 24- Student

NI ft 9 m

why bike? HI TEAM, I’M HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT WHY BIKING IS SUPER COOL SO YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT.

WHY NOT?

1 - CHEAP

1 - NO BIKE?

I’ve been riding the same $300 bike for the last three years and it’s had next to no TLC despite a lot of abuse. While $300 isn’t nothing, I can guarantee that if I’d driven everywhere that I’ve ridden on that bike over the years then I’d need to add a couple of zeros to that number. And parking permits aren’t getting cheaper any time soon. The nice thing about a bike that is all your costs are significantly lower, from purchase price, to depreciation, to maintenance costs (unless you’re getting super wild and breaking parts all the time).

2 - HEALTHY At a time where many students are facing mental health issues, exercise can help out a little! If nothing else, feeling the wind on your face and passing drivers stuck in traffic is sure to put a smile on your dial. Even if you’re determined to ride your bike with a gigantic frown, you still can’t outrun the physical health benefits of cycling. A bit of exercise in the morning is a great way to wake up, and riding home at 4am after pulling a most-of-the-nighter is a great way to unwind (and burn off the sugar in those Redbulls you smashed back to stay awake).

3 - CONVENIENT It would be fair to say that with all the construction going on at UC at the moment, sometimes you have to lock your bike up a little further from your destination that you’d like. Luckily this is not even close to the shit-storm that trying to find a park on campus. Even if you find a park, you’ll still likely be a decent walk away from your destination. Much easier to just do some pedalling instead.

4 - SUSTAINABLE This one should be pretty obvious. Unless you’re one of the few lucky people who own an Electric Vehicle (EV) or do an unreal job of carpooling, then biking is almost certainly more sustainable that driving. Then you get to be smug about your low carbon footprint, and point out to people that they’re contributing to humankind’s eventual extinction.

Keep an eye out on Trademe for some deals on bikes, and if something is broken, then go and see the boys at Dr Bike at C Block Lawn, Tuesdays at 12 - 2:30. Or sell a kidney and buy something super trendy, you would be amazed at how much coin you could drop on a bike.

2 - WET AND COLD Believe it or not, just because it is wet and cold doesn’t mean riding a bike is impossible. I will concede that it can be fairly miserable when the weather is truly miserable, but fortunately the right clothes makes it far less so. But we’re broke students and that kit is expensive! Fair enough, but even if you just ride when the weather is decent and drive when it sucks then you’re still coming out ahead (see reasons 1-4).

3 - TOO FAR While Christchurch’s public transport isn’t the best in the world, the bus routes are still reasonable, and you can put your bike on the front! You could also look into an electric bike, or even chucking your bike in your car and biking the last bit? Bottom line is, you can usually make it work.

4 - TOO DANGEROUS Cycling can be a bit scary, you’re pretty vulnerable on the roads, but fortunately the Christchurch City Council has recently spent a whole lot of money on new cycleways in and around Uni, so it’s a whole lot safer to ride your bike in the area. Keep an eye out for a map I’m hoping to release in conjunction with UC Sustainability showing some of the other useful little thoroughfares and quiet roads in the Ilam/Riccarton Area, as well as roads to avoid. The UCSA is also selling D-Locks to make sure that your bike doesn’t get pinched!

HARRY BEAUMONT

DISCLAIMER I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BIKES, TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE BEEN DESCRIBED AS OBNOXIOUSLY FIZZING ABOUT THEM. SO I PROBABLY HAVE A CONFLICT OF INTEREST OR SOMETHING. BUT WHATEVER, I’M ABOUT TO WRITE ABOUT WHAT I WANT.

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DEPT OF SPIRITUAL ENGINEERING: L E A R N I N G A few years ago I decided it was time to burn out. All my successful friends had given it a shot. And so I figured it was my turn to see what all the fuss was about. It all started when I accidentally booked myself up for way too many commitments. I’d always been a yes man. But on this occasion I’d really bitten off more than I could chew. And gradually I felt my body just begin to stop as I literally struggled to walk. It had taken 15 years of work-a-holism- but all the gas had finally leaked out of my tank. And then out of the blue a young leader I had mentored and invested hugely in - killed herself. It was gutting beyond words. We worked around the clock trying to prevent her death from becoming a contagion to the teenagers she worked with. Slowly I began to feel a darkness and a self-loathing come over me that I just couldn’t shake. I wanted to hide from my shame in some remote mountain. And then I received a phone call asking me to consider applying for a huge new job. A job that I had felt a call towards for years. A job that I felt woefully under-prepared for. A job that I felt would ultimately see time with my wife and family taken away. And as I hung up the phone -  I was finally undone. I was a physical, emotional and vocational wasteland. I sat in front of my wife with a dead stare over my face, my palms over my eyes, as she rubbed my shoulders with her elbows. My muscles were full of rocks.

T O

B R E AT H E

A G A I N

“I want to quit. I hate this city. It’s just a pile of rubble. I’m just a pile of rubble. I hate my job. I want to become a potter, or a print maker, or a baker. But not a minister. I’m a fraud. I’m an imposter. I just can’t do this anymore.”

He invited me to confront my ego and to rediscover my playfulness.

And so I left the city, and headed for the Wilderness. A 7 day silent retreat - to wrestle with God.

I needed that retreat - to detox from the noise of the city, and all the voices in it that I’d allowed my self worth to be defined by.

Lots of people said they’d come with me but one by one they slowly bailed  - until a single comrade was left. Jaymie - a sprightly 21 year old carpenter– who took 7 days off work to head to the hills with a sad 36 year old Clergyman. Not what most 21 year olds dream of.

We tramped in to this old hut in the woods. It had no power. Only a long drop. And the bunk room had the scent of a bed wetter who liked asparagus. But it had a roaring fire place, and a balcony that rested inbell-bird infested bush, overlooking governors bay. Jaymie and I arrived, had lunch, and then sat down. We faced each other, and burst out laughing at the absurdity of what we were about to put ourselves through.  Then we turned off our phones. Lit a candle. Said a midday prayer. And together we went into the Silent land. Now those 7 silent days were both miserable and glorious as God spoke to me vividly.

He invited me to grieve, and to begin accepting who he’d actually made me to be, rather than the Superman I wanted to be.

I needed that retreat to make friends with myself, and to make friends with God and my calling again. I needed that retreat to learn how to be rather than just do. And 7 days later as I walked down from that hut - I left as someone with battle scars from my experiences. But I also left as someone who was Happier. And Healthier. And Humblier. I left that hut like someone who’d learnt how to breath again. Like someone who was ready to return and embrace his calling to a broken city, full of broken and beautiful people.

spanky.moore@canterbury.ac.nz SPANKY MOORE

ucsa elections: ENGAGING OR JUST A POPULARITY CONTEST? Student elections have come to an end around the country with the University of Auckland having its results coming out this week. The University of Canterbury has once again come out on top. This year’s University of Canterbury Students’ Association elections saw 41% of the 16,000 plus students on campus turning out to vote. UC’s incumbent president, Sam Brosnahan gained 3281 votes with Auckland’s president for 2019, Anand Raman only coming away with 621. This meant only about 5% of the student body came out to vote for the AUSA. There was even a group running this year under the ticket “unf%*k the AUSA”. With such a high turnout at Canterbury, were students actually engaged? Luke a third year was nonchalant about the whole affair, “[I] Didn’t really feel engaged but I was glad to see so many people

putting their hands up to compete.” Ben, a second year and a student said that each year it seemed like the same people were running. “Many think the whole thing is a popularity contest or a decision between people wanting something for their CV or the coin from the role versus those with actual passion. And it seems we only hear about the UCSA when elections come about - by September we won’t hear about anything they do until the next election,” said O’Connell. Instead of a vote Ben suggested the 15 best candidates are selected through a Wipeoutlike obstacle course or a UC-themed Kahoot (an online quiz). “UC may have the best voter turnout, but is the student body’s heart in the right place?” Lizzie, a fourth-year law student agreed with O’Connell that the elections seemed to be a popularity contest and she knew many of candidates personally.

“I think there is still an underlying doubt in the ability for the UCSA to actually be able to do that much anyway, so although people can get caught up in the hype they don’t really have high expectations,” said Everingham. Other students did feel engaged. First year student Harry thought candidates marketed themselves well. “I felt engaged by all the signs everywhere on campus and all of the Facebook events I got chain invited to” Kahlil, a third-year computer science student had similar feelings to Low. “Well you could hardly miss the hundreds of signs staring deep into your soul as you’re running late for class. So yeah I guess so.” So, it appears that Canterbury students were aware of an election, and motivated to then vote. However, it is also evident that the candidates may not be reaching voters as much as they could.

LIAM STRETCH

In Brief Gollum’s Pool (also known as Tawhai Falls)  is a waterfall near National Park, Tongariro National Park. It takes around 15 mins to return and is easily accessible. No matter rain or shine, Tawhai falls is a natural wonder you won’t want to miss!

THE DESTINATION There are a number of stairs to the waterfall making wheelchair access difficult.  During winter months snow and ice are on the track so take care over the colder months. The track is smooth and can easily be walked in jandals. Along the walk, there is also a viewing point from which you are able to see the falls from the top. It is fenced off around the sides for safety, however, there are a number of tracks that lead down to the source of the falls that people have made over time to get better views.  The best of these are right next to the beginning of the fencing from the viewing platform. This short walk to the waterfalls takes approximately 10 mins to drive to from Tongariro National Park. It is a spot that can easily be reached before dinner, stretching the legs after a long day sitting in the car. This is definitely a family-friendly walk with plenty to explore along the way. Finally a big shout out to those who came out with me and let me shoot alongside them. Such good people and if you ever cross paths with any of them they are incredibly talented photographers. Definitely go check out their work on Instagram below. Benny Mabazza @bennymabazza Josh Higginson @jhiggzz Josh Davey @9nth

In Detail THE LOCATION Gollum’s Pool is a location where Lord of the Rings was shot hence the name ‘Gollum’s Pool’. Parking is located off SH48, there are plenty of car parks available at the start of the track. Look for the green DOC sign on the side of the SH48.

NATHAN JAMES

A D V E N T U R E S F T S O U T H . C O M

ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH

A D V E N T U R E S F T S O U T H . C O M

V i c i o u s ly D e l i c i o u s : THE M E AT - F REE B URGER W I N N I N G S TUD ENT S OV ER 250 [sales] being our monthly average,” said Hsu. Hsu thinks the key to its success is that it is a healthy item, that actually tastes nice. EsteIle Miller, from the Veg (Vegan) Club of UC; a group that advocates for animal rights, environmentalism, and plant-based diets, believes that the health benefits play a big role in the growing popularity of vegan food in the city. “A

plant-based vegan diet has been shown to be linked with lower levels of cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease, which are all serious and prevalent concerns in the modern world, especially with the Western diet,” said Miller. The success of the Veganlicious burger has led Big Gary’s to consider more vegetarian and vegan options for its menu, such as sweet corn balls, and ugly broccoli. The Veganlicious- Big Gary’s number one selling burger, with a side of ugly broccoli. For generations the local chippie has provided a token weekly ‘vegetarian’ option for thousands of Kiwis, come Friday evening – but this came in the form of a crusty piece of dogfish and half a scoop of chips; maybe a pineapple ring for the adventurous. It might be surprising to many that the best seller at a popular Christchurch student takeaway is a vegan burger. Big Gary’s on the corner of Riccarton Road and Wharenui Road is a stone’s throw from the University of Canterbury, and is aiming to change the shape of the city’s diet, one meat-free patty at a time. One of the owners, Lisa Hsu, couldn’t be more excited. “We love giving our community what they want,” said Hsu. Lisa Hsu and chef Mark Mai, received a glut of requests via social media requesting a vegan burger be put on the menu. Using her popular ’Monday Night Live’ stream, and a poll on the business’s Facebook page, Hsu created the recipe with help from her large student audience. Out of this, the pair created the Veganlicious burger and added it to the menu last year. The burger consists of a lentil, carrot, and pea patty, with vegan bacon (which is some sort of seasoned tofu), and your usual burger components; lettuce, hash brown, onion, tomato, relish and BBQ sauce. The Veganlicious has now become Big Gary’s most popular burger, with it selling out on most nights. “We sold roughly 200 last month, with

The Veganlicious retails for $8.90.

Other burger bars providing vegan options in Christchurch include Bacon Brothers Sweet, Sweet Clo burger, Velvet Burger’s Animal Rights burger, and the V8 Vegan from Burger Fuel – “the most versatile vege-burger in town. It’s a kumara and coriander patty, salad, beetroot, a minty yoghurt sauce, relish and aioli”

The key components of the burger

LIAM STRETCH

Lucky The Shilling Club Presents

One Side:

As a 3rd year civil engineer, I’ve always dreamed of getting with a fresher, and CANTA brought this dream to a reality. Almost.

I was feeling pretty sub-par; on the back of a bender with half my voice left and stains on my jumper.

After an hour of listening to Roger Nokes hype himself up over the importance of dimensionless numbers, I thought to myself, there must be more to life.

I thought I could redeem myself with a pick-up line: Do you like dragons?

Like a real-life Cupid, the guy from CANTA posted about an available spot on a blind date later that day, and boy was I eager. I skipped my way to the Shilling Club and was introduced to a firstyear boy, my date for the next hour. We sat down, and conversation immediately flowed: he was also from the Upper South Island (#yeaTheMakos) and lived in Ilam Apartments (short walk back from The Foundry, you feel?). Once drinks were ordered we got talking about life at university. He studied education and psychology, volunteered part time and had never been bounced from The Foundry.

After some confusion I muttered, ‘...Because I’m going to be dragon my balls across you later’. In hindsight, not my best chat. I didn’t know any guy pick-up lines and while he was nice enough to shrug it off as a joke, I knew I had come in way too hot. When we parted ways, I asked him to be nice about me in the review, although I am sure this will come up. All in all, thanks CANTA for introducing me to one of the loveliest people I have met, and I learnt that even if you dish it up to me on a silver platter, I still won’t be able to pull.

One of the most wholesome people I had met in a long time. Opposites attract, right?

EDITOR’S OPINON: Okay. I was there. A couple of tables away. A complete coincidence, but I stalked anyways. Sitting by the window in The Shilling Club, while I was hiding behind a giant plant. Don’t stress, I couldn’t hear what you were saying. But I could see everything….I don’t know why this didn’t work! She was super confident and expressive, and they seemed like they were getting on pretty well. You couldn’t tell that she was a couple of years older than him. His laidback maturity kind of balanced out her animated personality. I think you should go for round two – I’ve got your contact details, should I just send you a group message….?

I JUST WANT A SUCCESSFUL DATE FOR ONCE!

Dip The Other Side:

So waking up to find out you have a blind date is a new one for me, shout out to my flatmate for getting me on this! So after changing what I was wearing twice I headed off and realised going casual at the Shilling Club was not the best idea. After waiting a few minutes, drinking water to cool the nerves and staring at people through the window she arrived. Luckily, she came straight from a lecture, so I was safe in the knowledge that I was dressed better. She was pretty easy to talk to and the conversation flowed well, which I was thankful for.

I should have asked more about her and been more talkative, but I think it went pretty well regardless and there was barely any quiet moments aside from savouring the food, which sadly neither of us finished. We did also get meta and talk about the blind date itself and how her flatmates gave her some solid pickup lines to use, and despite my asking, she wouldn’t read any out. That did deflate things a little, so if your one of her flatmates reading this and you want to send me that list I’d love that.

We started with the usual conversation topics of uni, flatting, and hobbies but also talked about home and other meaningful subjects.

Despite only lasting an hour, she had a meeting. I had fun, though I was an amateur and didn’t ask for her Facebook or anything as we left. She also asked not to be too harsh in what I write, though she doesn’t have to worry I am quite merciful.

The food was good too, love me some carbonara, and despite her choosing a vegan dish she made up for it by not actually being vegan.

Joking aside she was a cool person and it was a great hour spent, most likely not going any further but she would make a pretty cool friend.

happy ending

HOROSCOPES FOR 24 september

420 thought

BUTTER IS A MILKSHAKE

This horoscope would be a joke about the negatives of selfdeprecation but we’re too dumb and unfunny to come up with one.

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.

You’ve built up what is known as a “tears credit”. Your stress and anxiety induced bawlings have buffered this spring’s allergy protection! Rejoice!

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday. Make sure to get a good night’s rest!

Alex. Get help. Please. I am speaking directly to you. You won’t regret it. We are here for you.

Life feel like a trashfire? Use that to light a single candle in the corner of your room. Hygge works wonders!

Got more issues than Time Magazine? Reading a book is a great way to wind down and relax!

Has your partner left you because they couldn’t handle your OCD? Tell them to close the door five times on their way out.

We’re sorry that Gemini asked you out that one time… Keep on smearing calf blood on your door and they’ll back off.

Just breathe.

Joining the yoga club and wearing tie-dye shirts doesn’t constitute a personality, Brian. Understanding good self-care is important.

Van Gogh ripped his own ear off. Probably because his art was falling on deaf ears. Be confident in your art and passions.

PRESENTS

T H E MINIS

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