Canta, Issue 10, 2014 by UCSA

{Issue 10 May 21 2014}

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For no surprises, no worries and no random bills, speak to UCA about Semester 2 accommodation today! *

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{ Contents }

THINGS WE LEARNED THIS ISSUE

Letters, we have some this week but we want more. Stop sending everything in to UC Compliments you bastards! Share the love.

Have you considered the real world issues that are involved in creating a six million dollar man? Do you believe that with great power comes great responsibility? This weeks Point Counterpoint is on human augmentation.

Breaking News! Bongs are being bullied, read all about it!

EDITORIAL

Meditate, try not to hate, love your mate or eat some grapes.

It seems robots are evolving and they haven’t yet reached their final form.

The Hamilton Arena puts on a show for the Flat Profile. A member of the public called it “kind of interesting.” A great success for all involved!

This week’s issue of Canta is a well thought out master class of production. The theme that we have built this issue around is ‘Ideas.’ This topic as well as being very lucky to be featured, is somewhat broad. We have explored the notion of Ideas with travel, technology and ideas of belief. Whether a belief causes you to meditate in an exploration of eastern enlightenment or to become a very enthusiastic member of a Christian organisation. In regards to technology, there is a large discourse on robots in this Ideas issue. Apparently a robot is a thing that moves around and performs a task without the necessity of human intervention or control. This makes me uncomfortable. Robots are an uncomfortable topic for many because of the potential uncanny element that they possess. The uncanny is a term that describes the phenomena of unease that is created when humans are represented in objects, such as dolls. This is why films like Chucky are creepy. These things look too human without being human.

SelfieBot – hoax or modern wonder?

20 3D printers allow a person to grab hold of the art world; this feature shows how it’s a nifty development for the visually impaired.

23 26

Is travel your bag? Check out the travel piece on China. Live vicariously, with a typical week for a member of Huge!

To prevent this I believe that all robots should be made in the image of the Queen with smaller robot corgis that shoot out of her metal torso and attack the poor in our community. This image will be easy to accept. Firstly as every citizen in the commonwealth is already familiar with the unemotional shuffling shell of a thing, which we call her majesty. Robot queen will maintain the status quo. The Queen does not behave in a human manner; therefore the uncanny will not be present. Secondly, in the event of a revolution whereby robots take a coercive role in controlling human civilisation, it will appear natural to take orders from the Queen. This will ease the transition. We will respect the robot Queens. Long live the robot Queens!

Callum Ching Deputy Editor

PRESIDENT’S PIECE Sarah Platt This week has brought with it a number of opportunities for student engagement; the AGM, our second student forum with the Vice-Chancellor, Dr. Rod Car and a student forum around the proposed changes in the School of Business and Economics. If you’re a student who takes any papers that come under the School of Business and Economics, that last bit is directed at you! In regard to the proposed changes in the School of Business and Economics, members of the UCSA Executive have met with Sonia Mazey, the Pro-Vice-Chancellor, Ross James, Dean of Commerce, and Head of Department, Jeremy Clark. In order to give you a chance to voice your concerns and provide ideas to shape the future of Economics at the University of Canterbury, a Student Forum will be held on Thursday 22nd of April at 1pm in Room 105 in the Law and Commerce Building. So, come along to get more information about the proposed changes and the 411 on what’s happening. Sonia Mazey and Jeremy Clark will be there to answer questions as well as myself, Luke Gillespie (UCSA Vice President) and Jared Van de Geest (UCSA Exec Commerce Representative). Most of you won’t know but I’m meant to write my ‘President’s Piece’ each Friday before Canta is sent to print on Monday, though if you ask our Graphic Designer and Canta Editors I manage to give them a weekly heart attack by only sending it through to them Monday morning …(sorry Emily and Canta office), point being while I would love to give you a full update on the AGM and the student forum with the Vice-Chancellor technically as I’m writing this they haven’t actually happened yet. So tune in next week for all the goss! But just to get your curiosity juices flowing here is a wee taster.

NOTICES Beauties Go Bald Cancer became a reality for us as teenagers, and CanTeen became a huge part of our lives. Now we want the chance to give back. Each of us hold a volunteer position in CanTeen, and we have been so blessed with these opportunities. We are shaving our heads to raise funds to continue developing and empowering young leaders in CanTeen. Help us support CanTeen by donating on our Give a Little page at www.givealittle. co.nz/cause/beautiesgobald. Every little bit helps! You can also follow us on out blog as we share with you our story and our journey to shaving our heads for CanTeen at beautiesgobald.wordpress.com Thank you for your support!!

Last year we:

Millie, Anna and & Bridget O’Grady. X

• Affiliated 121 clubs

To check out more of what CanTeen is all about, visit www.canteen.org.nz

• Held 433 student events on campus • Represented student on over thirty (30) committee and faculty meetings internally • Saw 1602 students through our subsidised dental care program • Brought food and beverage back with the UCSA to better deliver on food demands within our community • Supported 725 class reps • Had 603,706 website ‘hits’ • Had 113,00 student attendees (accumulative) participate at our events. Again, that’s just a taster so if you missed the AGM or student forum with the VC.. or just had something better to do but are now you’re feeling inquisitive – be sure to pick up Canta next week for AGM details and for your viewing pleasure head to the UCSA website for the link to the online recording of the student forum with the VC. Have a delightful week. Sarah

ASK THE PRESIDENT Tired of complaining to your Facebook newsfeed about your locker-less existence, or the lack of microwaves in the engineering building? Well, you can stop now. Your 400 friends don’t give a shit about your uni problems. But luckily for you, Sarah does. Send in your UC related questions, criticisms, and curiosities to president@ucsa.ac.nz and Sarah will get back to you in the next edition of Canta.

{ Canta 2014 }

Heard of the Postgraduate Students’ Association? Are you a postgrad looking for temporary relief from gruelling thesis work? PGSA can be that relief, aiding in comradery and providing an array of academic support. Last month’s Easter Egg Hunt provided a lovely distraction from office work: the Undercroft was flocked with eager Postgrads searching for chocolate eggs! Seeing the smile on faces of some individuals that had never hunted Easter Eggs was a real treat. We are very excited about our next upcoming academic and social event, Research Roulette. This PSGA event poses as a fun night of not only research sharing, but fellowship between Postgrads. Set up in a “speed dating” rotation, researchers have the opportunity to share their projects in 30 seconds. At the end of the night, participants vote on the most interesting research, leaving the top contestant with $300 to be used towards their research ($200 for second place and $100 for third)! Drinks and food are also provided. Come along to Research Roulette, if you are keen for some fun! If you have any further questions, please contact us at info@canterburypgsa.org.nz or find us on Facebook. We are all in the same thesis-driven boat, so it is worthwhile to share, learn and have fun while we’re a part of this bumpy ride! However, the large majority of delegates receive financial support from their universities and local rotaries and MP’s. This conference accepts delegates from all subject areas. Applications close 31st May.

CONTRIBUTORS Leigh McGowan Age 22, Bachelor of Teaching and Learning (ECE), ‘12 Leigh is enthusiastic about life and wrote the piece for Canta, A Week in the Life of Huge!

Is there hope for hoverboards by 2015, or did Michael J Fox lie to us? I’m pretty sure hover boards are already a thing…? But as a general mode of transport, I’m a bit sceptical.

The best robot movie ever is... Transformers! They’re like super robots! Though you can’t fault Wall E.

What would you make with a 3D printer? I’ve heard you can print shoes. That would save me a lot of money each year. As long as they don’t come out looking like crocs.

How do you find your happy place? Probably with my headphones in and just going for a walk. There’s nothing quite like blocking out the rest of the world for 20 minutes.

Who would win in a fight – Solange Knowles or Ben Affleck as Batman? Ben Affleck.

Maximillian Carter-Smith Age 22, BCom, ‘14 Max here wrote a glorious travel about the time he spent in China.

Tom O’Brien

Age 20, BEHons, Natural Resources, ‘15

Age 20, LLB/BA, ‘14

Tim has created a basic How To Guide for Buddhist meditation. It is written in the best elements of peace and understanding.

Is there hope for hoverboards by 2015, or did Michael J Fox lie to us? Is there hope for hoverboards by 2015, or did Michael J Fox We have the Martin Jetpack, who lie to us? needs hover boards? The best robot movie ever is... iRobot, or Iron Man. Both epic movies that have awesome robots.

What would you make with a 3D printer? I’d probably 3D print housing and commercial building models. Short of that, start an online 3D printing business.

Tom wrote in this weeks Point Counterpoint on Human Augmentation.

Is there hope for hoverboards by 2015, or did Michael J Fox lie to us?

I think he was lying…

I’m more of a flying car kind of guy, anyway - no coordination for hoverboarding.

The best robot movie ever is...

Wall-e

Blade Runner.

What would you make with a 3D printer?

More 3D printers

I suppose if I’m going to be a lawyer I should say “a soul”.

How do you find your happy place?

I feel like I should say meditation (i’m assuming this says I’m from the Buddhist society??)

I wish I could find it right now, the assignments and tests are taking over!

Who would win in a fight – Solange Knowles or Ben Affleck as Batman?

Ben Affleck, of course.

If Solange couldn’t bother JayZee, I don’t see how she’d handle the Joker. Affleck all the way.

A good evening of flat banter and G&Ts

I had to google Solange Knowles, she looked feral when she attacked Jay-Z. But I’d have to say Ben Affleck as Batman.

Contributors Mitchell Bright, Maximillian Carter-Smith, Vincent Chew, Samara Doole, Nicholas Evans, Old Gregg, Seung-Woo Hong, Tom O’Brien, Leigh McGowan, Emma McIntosh, Tim Williams

Send us your stories, photographs, epiphanies canta@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz

Tim Williams

Editor At Large Hannah Herchenbach Deputy Editors Callum Ching and Annalee Jones Designer Emily McCormick Money Honey Victoria Lean Webmaster Rupert Curlett

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Letters to the Editor }

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR AIN’T NO HOLLA BACK GURL

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII III EIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOUUU Dear Canta.

To ‘Wassup’ guy,

Basically, I’m writing to say … FUCK YOU. With a rusty pipe. Wrapped in barbed wire. After a dude with syphilis spunked on it.

Hi. I’m sorry I looked so awkward and confused when you yelled down at me from the fifth floor of Locke last Thursday. I’m not really sure what that thing I did with my hand was – some sort of weird wave/salute that was vague enough for me to avoid embarrassment if you weren’t wassup-ing at me.

In your ‘What’s On’ section last week you had an advertisement for a Bobby Brown concert at Harrington’s Brewery. Now, I’m not retarded. I knew it wouldn’t be THE Bobby Brown. EXCEPT, you had a PICTURE of THE Bobby Brown with the ad!!!

Also, I’m not sure who you are. Do I know you?

So I turn up there with my flatmate, and what do we find? A foot stomping African-American 90s hiphop icon with an (alleged) class A drug issue? NO! Some fucking whiter-thancocaine dweeb box playing “all the music you love” on a fucking acoustic guitar!!?!

This was all a very strange experience. Kind Regards, Awkward Salute Girl

Enjoy the syphilis dickwads. Signed,

ONE DOOR OPENS...

MY PEROGATIVE TO KICK YOU IN THE NUTS

To the not so automatic doors, I’m sick of trying to pry you apart every time I’m heading in or out of the Undercroft. I understand that you have a lot on your plate, constantly opening and closing for the masses of ungrateful students running to class or to lunch or to the library. But that’s what you signed up for. I am the student, you are the doors – I am your master. And in your current state, I do not have the time or the patience for you anymore. If you are ill, or tired, take a break – get some help. Or maybe it’s just time you retired. Yours Sincerely, Flat faced from glass related injuries

PRETTY SURE THOSE ARE DRINKING FOUNTAINS Hi Canta! Just want to mention how awesome it is that the toilets in the Locke and Logie building have bidets in them, next to the sink. It is fantastic, although the water can be quite cold at times. However, I still prefer a puckered arse-hole to a stained one. Cheers, Bam and the Dirt is Gone

What will you write to Canta? Use the QR code to submit, or type out this longwinded address with ‘Letter To The Editor’ as your subject: canta@ucsa.canterbury. ac.nz Looking forward to your submissions for 2014 – this space is nothing without it. Canta

{ Canta 2014 }

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Congratulations! Canta online is for you!

www.canta.co.nz

{ Point }

SHOULD HUMAN AUGM Nick Evans

Before one can have a normative discussion about augmentation, it is necessary to distinguish between what we mean by augmentation versus say therapy, reconstruction, or corrective enhancement. There is a very large range of deficiencies in humans that if ‘corrected,’ do not necessarily count as ‘augmentation.’ For example someone getting lenses to correct long, or short-sightedness could be viewed as corrective enhancements to their bodies, as opposed to augmentation, even though the respective individual is technically having their body augmented. Likewise, someone who has lost a limb and has it replaced can be said to have had reconstruction. Finally, an individual who is deaf may have technological enhancements made to their body, enabling them to hear. In this case, such enhancements would be a form of therapy, and not augmentation. The ethics of augmentation are relatively straightforward. Provided an individual is able to freely, and rationally consent to having the augmentation made to their person, there is little difference to current practice when it comes to giving consent to surgery, or body-modification. Provided the possible harms are known, and the consequences of the decision weighed up, augmentation seems wholly uncontroversial. While there may be some level of uncertainty in the procedure, this carries no greater risk than any other kind of invasive surgery. In terms of benefits proffered by augmentation, these seem quite obvious. Having greater vision, hearing, or physical capabilities opens up humans to new capabilities. Some augmentation may also have otherwise unobtainable therapeutic benefits. For example, augmentation made to certain organs could increase life spans, and longevity beyond what is currently possible. This can also translate into disease immunity and increased resistance to other physical ailments. More speculative accounts even suggest uploading the human conscience into machines, or creating cybernetic organisms (i.e Terminators). It could be argued that critics of augmentation fall victim to a status quo bias. That is, they are comfortable and complacent with what currently exists and their arguments begin with this position. Collectively we are inherently sceptical of change, and sometimes approach it with unnecessary caution. However in terms of augmentation, several advances in technology that we already live with prove a good comparative analogy. Cell-phones and the internet for example, have fundamentally changed both society as a whole, and us as individuals. We have access to any amount of information we could desire

{ Canta 2014 }

at the push of a button, we can contact any one we want to with a similar amount of ease, and we can connect with the world at large in a few seconds. Just like augmentation however, the same debates played out over computers, the internet, and Cellphones; yet no one would contend that they are a negative addition today. The analogy can be further examined to address the other objection that critics raise against augmentation: it creates inequality. Emerging technology often has a significant cost attached to it, meaning that only the wealthy and privileged have access to it. When it comes to augmentation this has often caused concern, in that allowing for it will create a physical class system (or hierarchy) of augmented humans versus natural ones (think the Alpha, Beta, etc, distinctions in Brave New World or the Nano-Augs in Deus Ex). Obviously the creation of such a physical class system would be a negative externality, because it would perpetuate inequalities. There are however, several problems with this line of reasoning. Firstly, arguments relying on this claim are arguments against inequality and not against augmentation per se. Inequality will always exist with emerging technology; such arguments need to show why said technology in particular is inherently prone to creating lasting inequality. This leads to the second reply: technology begins to distribute over time, and becomes more accessible. When computers were first released, only the wealthy had access to them and likewise with cell-phones. Critics made the exact same arguments as is levelled against augmentation. However as is obvious today, cell-phones are inexpensive and accessible to most people. There is no reason why this cannot be the same with human augmentation technologies. The technology can spread, bringing its benefits with it.

Provided the possible harms are known, and the consequences of the decision weighed up, augmentation seems wholly uncontroversial.

{ Counterpoint }

MENTATION BE LEGAL? ...the augmented Rockefellers of the world inevitably dominate business and politics, their “improvements” giving them abilities beyond the reach of any human candidate.

Tom O’Brien

There are some who view the dawn of human augmentation as being akin to Prometheus’ gift of fire, which enabled humanity to light our forges and develop the Pandora’s Box of technologies we have today. Augmented limbs will spell an end to physical disability, at the same time that neural augmentations allow us to think faster and smarter. Head-up displays can provide us with constant medical data, which combined with protective dermal implants, will make death insignificant. Advocates of this evolution view augmentation as a panacea – a cure to all ills. Perhaps a better analogy is that of Icarus – a boy blinded by pride and complacency flys too close to the sun. Much as we might like to think of ourselves as altruistic, human augmentation will inevitably become a weapon in the war between the privileged and the underprivileged. The danger posed by this technology – that humans become subject to a technological apartheid based on wealth – is so great that regulation is our only path forward. Let’s look at the way that technologies are actually developed and used by people in positions of power. Highly advanced medical technologies, where many expensive, life-saving treatments continue to be the exclusive right of the mega-wealthy. Though Chinese medtech companies are making these machines cheaper than ever, Western pharmaceutical companies restrict their import to protect their monopolies. In education, tertiary institutes exploit government support to drive up the price of higher education, making the best education available only to the richest, or those willing to go into vast amounts of debt. Already, these advantages hand huge power to those in our society with money. Quality education and healthcare dramatically improves outcomes for these individuals, and gives them unprecedented access to the levers of power. Figures such as Barack Obama and John Key – relatively benign leaders in the grand scheme of things – are only able to obtain their position through immense personal wealth and privilege. Similarly, powerful directors and CEOs sway the tides of business, politics and the media, limiting the value of democracy to the everyman. If we think that’s bad, let’s imagine the effect if those advantages couldn’t be corrected for – after all, even children from poor families can excel at state schools and pursue their dreams, albeit down a tougher road. When those same kids now compete with the intellectually augmented children of the wealthy, their chances are non-existent. Locked out of high-paying jobs because of the inaccessibility of augments, they are

condemned to life in the lower quartile. Down the line, the augmented Rockefellers of the world inevitably dominate business and politics, their “improvements” giving them abilities beyond the reach of any human candidate. More than any other privileges enjoyed by the wealthy, augmentation provides such advantages that it will never be in their interests to offer parity to the poor. Even in the best case scenario, where these people do eventually get access to augmentations, it won’t be on the same terms as the super-wealthy. Instead of buying top-ofthe-line augments to be installed in private hospitals, the poor will be driven to inferior technology funded by extortive loans. Trapped in an even more hellish version of student loan debt, probably facing the medical consequences of inferior anti-rejection drugs (given how much Pfizer and GSK like to shut down generic medicines), these individuals are in a similarly impossible position. What, then, is the solution? Curbing the evolution of this technology is impossible – even if governments could achieve that, it’s certain that a great many people could eventually benefit from augmentation. Even if an immortal Donald Trump isn’t the ideal outcome, plenty of groups would be happy to have access to perfect prosthetics, improved access to healthcare and intellectual augmentation. Given that, dramatic regulation offers the best path forward. Firms developing augmentation technology should be prohibited from selling it to the market at large; instead, governments should act as a sole buyer and seller. Research and development funds and tax credits should be made available for the development of affordable augmentations before access to them becomes public – unless everyone can upgrade, no-one should be able to. Those who view human augmentation as a Promethean gift should be wary. As fickle and selfish as the Olympians of myth might be, they’ve got nothing on us.

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Opinion }

CRIMINALISING BONGS UNFAIR Emma McIntosh

I am concerned over the recent amendments that have been made to the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975, namely The Misuse of Drugs (Prohibition of Cannabis Utensils and Methamphetamine Utensils) Notice 2014 that came into effect last Monday, which further restricts the sale of utensils that can be used for the administration of controlled drugs. I strongly believe that this is the wrong approach to the matter, and conflicts with the objectives of the Misuse of Drugs Act, and the government drug policy to minimise the harm associated with drug use. From both an economic and legal perspective it saddens me that Peter Dunne’s work on the Psychoactive Substances Act has been undone by what has been referred to as “lawmaking via Campbell Live.” While not an advocate or user of synthetic highs, I appreciate the fact that the majority of users are able to do so with minimal harm and disruption to society and, much like with alcohol, it is a small minority of users who, by and large, ruin it for the majority. I am also a firm believer that the devil we know is better than the one we don’t – when synthetic cannabis (I use the reference to ‘cannabis’ here loosely,

{ Canta 2014 }

as they are vastly different products) was legal, at least it was possible to determine what was in a potentially harmful product and remove it from supply. Where there is a blanket ban of a desired product and a black market is created, such as the case now, such regulation is not possible, and harm increases as a result. Much in the same vein as how users of synthetic highs will seek to obtain them regardless of legality, a ban on utensils – particularly cannabis utensils in this regard – is likely to increase the harm associated with cannabis use as users move to an unregulated, unsafe product. Where synthetic highs were regulated and able to be removed from the shelves in certain circumstances, no such regulation exists in an illegal market. Making cannabis (and other drug related) utensils illegal is based on the assumption that utensils are inherently harmful because they facilitate drug use and, on that basis, should be prohibited. The assumption also relies on the basis that prohibiting the possession of utensils prevents drug use by making it more difficult. The Law Commission has established that allowing users to possess utensils encourages safer drug use; with the example given that smoking a cannabis joint with legally obtained rolling papers confers more harm than smoking cannabis through a (now illegallyobtained) cannabis pipe or bong. This is a similar rationale to that of the Health (Needles and syringes) regulations 1998, which enable intravenous drug users to buy new needles and syringes and return used ones without committing an offence. I note that the Ministry of Health has stated that the overarching goal of the National Drug Policy is to prevent and reduce the health, social, and economic harms that are linked to tobacco, alcohol, illegal and other drug use, however the move to prohibit cannabis utensils

appears to directly contravene both this purpose, and the recommendations made by the Law Commission. When looking at convictions regarding cannabis it becomes apparent that it is not often that the police only charge a person with a utensils offence. It is conceivable that people found in possession of utensils for personal use will also have some drugs in their possession. In that sense, the utensils offence does not reflect any additional criminality on their part. In the case of vaporisers, you are punishing users for attempting to mitigate some of the harm caused by smoking cannabis in the first place. Additionally, I note that while cannabis originally became illegal due to New Zealand’s international obligations, there is no specific obligation in any of the international conventions to which New Zealand is a party which prohibit the use of utensils. It is instead merely one way in which parties comply with their general obligations under the conventions to limit the use of prohibited drugs. In my view, and that of the Law Commission, it is more productive to focus enforcement resources and activity on more harmful drugrelated offending, particularly black market dealing, as this is where most drug-related harm occurs. Increasing the restrictions on cannabis utensils is increasing the health risks associated with cannabis use and goes against the objectives the Misuse of Drugs Acts is trying to achieve. How can lawmakers justify why this is the case, when health, economic and legal experts all agree otherwise? I would implore our representatives to address these concerns, especially so since the ramifications of this law change affect more than just the approximate 10% of New Zealanders who state they regularly consume cannabis.

{ Guide }

A GUIDE TO

MEDITATION Tim Williams

2500 years ago lived an Indian prince called Siddhartha Gautama. Siddhartha lived a life of luxury, but realised the comforts he was fortunate enough to experience only brought him a temporary happiness. Siddhartha decided to venture out of the palace. In his travels he saw disease, death and suffering. After a few years of intense practice, Siddhartha learned to see things as they truly were, saw the origins of human suffering and henceforth became referred to as ‘The Buddha’, which roughly translates to ‘he who is awake’. A common misconception about Buddhist meditation is that the goal is to think about nothing. The goal is actually to develop insight, often by focusing your mind singularly on an object or idea. As you focus on this object, a natural clarity arises in the mind. You don’t have to be the Dalai Lama or a crazy hippy to meditate. Anyone can do it. It can make you happier, reduce stress levels, improve focus, and allow you to be more content with your life. When meditating for the first time you will often be overwhelmed by how much background chatter there is in your mind. The tendency of the mind to rapidly swing between ideas or feelings can feel uncontrollable to begin with. This tendency is often called the ‘monkey mind’: just as primates swing restlessly from branch to branch, our mind is incessantly shifting from one idea to another. Through meditation, we aim to tame this mad monkey that is living in our mind. What Buddhism suggests is that the happiness achieved through a delicate balancing of exterior conditions is only temporary. In order to achieve lasting happiness, the most effective method is to begin to understand the mind. By living an ethical life and training our minds to develop strong concentration we are able to develop wisdom. With more wisdom, we find it easier to live ethically and use our minds more efficiently.

A Method To Breathing Mediation – Basic Skill Level

Find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed

Sit down in a comfortable position (on the floor or in a chair) with a straight back.

Close your eyes.

After some time, the mind will become distracted as other things compete for attention. Upon realising this, acknowledge the thought without reacting to it and gently return to the sensations of breathing.

Focus on breathing: the sensations of the air entering and leaving at the entrance of the nostrils; alternatively focus on the rising and falling of the belly.

If you are just beginning, try and repeat this process for about 15 minutes.

{ Canta 2014 }

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{ Feature }

A BRIEF HISTORY OF ROBOTS Vincent Chew

The word robot is from the Czech word robota - literarlly meaning ‘serf labour’, and figuratively, ‘drudgery’ or ‘hard work’. The name was invented and popularised by Karl Čapek, a Czech writer in the early 20th century. There are a wide range of definitions of what consititutes a ‘robot’, mostly influenced by cultural factors. In this guide to notable robots throughout history, I define robots as “mechanism guided by automatic controls.”

{ Canta 2014 }

Water clocks

Antikythera mechanism

Da Vinci’s Humanoid Robot

Early technologies of automaton, or self-operating machines mainly include clocks. This is because people have better things to do than sit down and count the time. Time was recorded in a lot of different ways like sundials and hourglasses and incense clocks, but the more reliable ways were to have water dripping systems which requires complex mechanical systems to operate. But it was done. The Greeks and Romans advanced water clock design to include the inflow clepsydra with an early feedback system, gearing, andescapement mechanism, which were connected to fanciful automata and resulted in improved accuracy. Further advances were made in Byzantium, Syria and Mesopotamia, where increasingly accurate water clocks incorporated complex segmental and epicyclic gearing, water wheels, and programmability, advances which eventually made their way to Europe. Independently, the Chinese developed their own advanced water clocks, incorporating gears, escapement mechanisms, and water wheels, passing their ideas on to Korea and Japan.

Preserved in the National Archaelogical Museum in Athens, it was an analog computer used to calculate astronomical years as the Greeks. Yes, math was THAT advanced. By turning a hand crank, all interlocked gears within the mechanism will rotate, resulting in the calculation of the position of the Sun and Moon and other astronomical information, such as moon phases, eclipse cycles, and theoretically the locations of planets. The gearing complexity of the machine is remarkable and shows how much innovation can come out of a foundation understanding of gear ratios.

The most fascinating of all automaton in that era would be Da Vinci’s humanoid robot, the first humanoid robot ever. He designed it after spending loads of time on the human anatomy studying how muscles work. It was recorded that he built the robotic knight, though it was used primarily for entertainment at parties thrown by his wealthy patron Lodovico Sforza. Da Vinci’s robot has not survived and no one knows exactly what it was capable of doing, but apparently it could walk, sit down and even work its jaw. It was driven by a system of pulleys and gears. In 2002, robotics expert Mark Rosheim used da Vinci’s notes to build a working model of da Vinci’s robotic knight and some of the concepts behind it have subsequently been used by Rosheim for the design of planetary exploration robots to be used by NASA.

As early as 4000BCE

About 100BCE

Renaissance to the 17th century

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French Toys 18th century

In 1737, Vaucanson built (amongst other robots) The Digesting Duck, which is considered his masterpiece. The duck had over 400 moving parts in each wing alone, and could flap its wings, drink water, digest grain, and defecate. Although Vaucanson’s duck supposedly demonstrated digestion accurately, his duck actually contained a hidden compartment of “digested food”, so that what the duck defecated was not the same as what it ate; the duck would eat a mixture of water and seed and excrete a mixture of bread crumbs and green dye that appeared to the onlooker indistinguishable from real excrement. At the time, mechanical creatures were somewhat a fad in Europe, but most could be classified as toys, and de Vaucanson’s creations were recognized as being revolutionary in their mechanical lifelike sophistication.

Karakuri Puppets 19th century Japan

Japan adopted automata during the Edo period (1603–1867); they were known as karakuri ningyō. The word karakuri means “mechanisms” or “trick”. The most common, Zashiki karakuri, is a tea-serving robot which starts moving forward when a cup of tea is placed on the plate in its hands. It moves in a straight line for a set distance, moving its feet as if walking, and then bows its head. This signals that the tea is for drinking, and the doll stops when the cup is removed. When it is replaced, the robot raises its head, turns around and returns to where it came from. It is typically powered by a wound spring made of whalebone, and the actions are controlled by a set of cams and levers. This puppet would be the inspiration for Japan to spearhead robotics development and be at the forefront of this technology with ASSIMO and other robots.

Welding robots

Military robots

20th century

The future!

Robot welding is the use of mechanized programmable tools (robots), which completely automate a welding process by both performing the weld and handling the part. Robot welding is a relatively new application of robotics, even though robots were first introduced into US industry during the 1960s. The use of robots in welding did not take off until the 1980s, when the automotive industry began using robots extensively for spot welding. Since then, both the number of robots used in industry and the number of their applications has grown greatly.

WW2 saw the capabilities of the Goliath tracked mine and Soviet tele-tanks. This gave rise to the idea that future wars could be fought by robots instead of people. Since then extensive research had gone into guided missiles, unmanned aerial vehicles (UAV), unmanned ground vehicles, bomb defusing robots and even humanoid robots. Boston Dynamics, a robotics company funded by DARPA unveiled 2 of their latest models recently: the Atlas and Big Dog which further show the advances in American mechatronics stemmed by the military industrial complex. Officials report these robots would be intended to aid emergency services in search and rescue operations with no interest in offensive or defensive warfare, but we all would know better. An assumption that I have always heard about robotic advances is that as people no longer need to waste their time doing something that could be done by a robot and they could spend time creating new value to the society. Well let’s hope it would be true because from where I see it, the future looks quite grim as we are heading towards a high tech low life cyberpunk world. So to increase your odds of survival I highly recommend all of you to at least get involved with the latest technology by joining MakerSoc, where we create opportunities to learn, discuss and play with the latest technology and exercise vital skills through designing and making stuff. Or you can make lots of engineering friends through ENSOC. Our ability to learn and make connections with one another would be the few important skills that put us ahead of robots. For now.

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HAMILTON AREN Jock Nowell-Usticke (Chemical Eng)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was the four times national Micro Scooter Freestyle Championâ&#x20AC;?.

Stuart Kruger (3 degrees) summed up by the flat in 3 words; Spontaneous, Cara Delevingne.

Guy Wilson (Civil Eng)

Guy spends his daylight hours researching the tensile capacity of spiders silk. What started as a hobby, milking spiders has become a daily activity for Guy.

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The flat has been passed down through friends. Scott’s older brother Gary had the flat three years ago. The place next door is condemned, which makes it nice and private. We have the worst house on the nicest street – our rent is less than a hundred dollars a week. The place is actually a grounds registered arena on Google. We have one positive review: “great grounds, nice staff”. There’s a tennis court in the front yard. We have a Hamilton Open at the end of every year - last year 150 people came. We do use the pool … but not for swimming. We have a spa bath, which doesn’t heat up on its own - we heat a barrel of water at a time in a brassiere; the flames lick up two to three metres high. Then we get to turn on the bubbles! There’s no heat pump or fire in the house. Heating is cheating. It gets warm when the oven is on, or when you are steaming beans. There’s a manmade river in the backyard with a rickety bridge over it. At the start of the year we raced rubber ducklings to the bridge as a challenge to pick rooms. Kit came dead last. The river is also the source of our fish and water cress. There are two rats, Elizabeth and Betty. Stu got them one day spontaneously. They smell and don’t do much, but are part of the family. Approximately 0.0056% of the power in our flat is generated by a dynamo connected to our rat wheel. Shout outs to Elizabeth and Betty! We collect really bad art. We probably have the most extensive collection of low-budget art in the lower South Island. We always knew one day we wanted to be art dealers – so we thought we’d start young.

Scott (Civil Eng)

Scott has a doppelganger named Scott. We prefer Scott to Scott.

Kit (Chemical Eng)

The resident Chef. Kit would cook 4 times more than anyone else in the flat.

Lachlan Watson (Civil Eng) an overpaid, underworked DJ with aspirations to become a specialist in structural polystyrene design.

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Owen Flanagan

Kyle Wilson

SELFIEBOT

Luke Schwartfeger

The SelfieBot guys didn’t have a selfie of themselves. .So we stole these off the internet.

Canta

If ever a robot could capture the global zeitgeist … it must be the SelfieBot. Literally, a robot that takes selfies. It couldn’t be more ‘now’ if Solange hit Jay-Z in the face with it. The CEO of SelfieBot (I want to see that business card) is UC’s very own, Owen Flanagan. Canta annoyed him for several minutes while he moved his boxes into NZi3. So … what exactly is a SelfieBot? The SelfieBot is a small camera drone you can simply place wherever you like: on a table, on a chair or even in mid-air because why should you be restricted by having to hold your camera when you take a photo?

How many beers were involved in that name? 4

The average person doesn’t sit around thinking, ‘how can we help people take even more duck face photos of themselves to piss off their friends on Facebook’ … how did this idea come to you? We believe that this is the ultimate evolution of technology. All lines lead to this, snapchat, selfies. This is a new frontier.

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Also, this is hopefully just the first product from our company as we work towards building awesome personal drones.

When I Google SelfieBot, all I get is some April Fools video? Are you punking me? Because if you are … well played. FUCK THOSE GUYS. But on a more serious note ~200k views on YouTube is pretty good market validation so those guys kind of did us a favour… but still, Fuck ‘em

How does the SelfieBot work? And feel free to admit it’s dark unicorn magic. It’s pretty simple, you put it where you want it to be and it stays there and you control the camera with a simple, intuitive smart-phone app. We want to keep it stupidly simple to use while still being truly useful.

What’s the market for the SelfieBot? Vapid narcissists with too much time on their hands? (I’ve got the Canta credit card on standby …) Ducks and anyone else who think floating cameras are cool. We think this is a way to introduce drones to the population at large, the first mass consumer drone which is actually useful for people in their everyday lives. For example, imagine you are out with your friends and you want to get a group photo (or groupie) and you can’t fit yourselves all in the photo, so you whip out your SelfieBot and snap yourselves crazy. YOU COULD ask a stranger to hold your smartphone, but who wants to give their baby to a stranger.

When will we see SelfieBots on (or hovering slightly above) shelves? We hope to launch it on kickstarter later this year.

What is a SelfieBot going to sting us? Student discount? We don’t know yet, we won’t know till we get to the factory.

Finally, to clear up an argument that’s been raging in the Canta office for over a week, who is sexier: Rosie from The Jetsons, or one of those hand-cranked pencil sharpeners from the 80s? It’s tight, very tight. One (*all) of the guys has a bit of history with the pencil sharpener (#YOLO) but the french maid outfit swings it towards Rosie.

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BACK TO THE BEGINNING

WITH BLUEFERN Annalee Jones

UC has been harbouring a supercomputer. Yes, a supercomputer. The university has been hiding the thing away since mid 2006. They’ve named it BlueFern and given it it’s own little room, over at Dovedale. But what the hell does the university want with a supercomputer? Are we fostering an evil scientific lair, full of academics in lab coats hell bent on taking over the world with their computational prowess? Not quite. We’re actually using it to compute ridiculously massive amounts of data to inform all kinds of scientific research. From creating models of functional surfaces at the nanoscale, to working towards more environmentally friendly and efficient fuel design systems, and sequencing the platypus genome, UC’s BlueFern supercomputer has been pretty busy lately. Recently, it’s been used to help figure out where we came from – a pretty big puzzle for little ol’ UC to be piecing together. Professor of Mathematics and Statistics, Mike Steel, who has been working on this project for a number of years, took some time out of his busy day at sunny UC Berkley to talk about how he and his colleagues have been making waves with research into the origin of life.

How did you start out working on this project? When I was at the Newton Institute at Cambridge I got interested in this whole question because of some papers I was reading. There was this biologist that was very critical of a theory that had been put forward, and I realised, that really, you needed mathematics to sort out who was right and who was wrong. In those early days, there was a computer system called Helix – it was pretty primitive by the standards of the BlueFern, but it was good enough for us to get some initial results and since then I’ve been working with some people at Berkley here and figured out some of the underlying mathematics.

…on a regular computer… you would be waiting years and years for the results. Life’s too short to sit around just waiting.

So UC BlueFern was a pretty useful resource for this research? I think it’s fair to say that we just could not have got the results we did any other way. We had to use detailed simulations and you can’t do that on a regular computer – well maybe you could, but you would be waiting years and years for the results. Life’s too short to sit around just waiting.

Are you working with academics from other universities? Yeah, there are groups in Germany, Berkley, and several other places. In the past, we’ve taken our framework, applied it to other people’s results, and analysed them further to get more insights into exactly what they’d found.

On the surface, the origin of life seems like quite a biological/biochemical sort of problem – what made you look at it from a mathematical perspective? Yeah that’s true, but we’ve developed a systematic way of classifying different pathways to sort out emerging complexity in biochemistry. We’re kind of using a mathematical and computational perspective to tie it into probability theory – what is the probability of different pathways to life occurring? That sort of thing.

How do you know when you find something significant? I heard there had been students working on this too – how did that go? A year ago we had this very smart young guy – Josh Smith – who had been a graduate at UC. He had done maths and chemistry and wanted to come back and do honours, so we came up with this project using BlueFern to look at really complex problems around the interactions between some of the components of early life. We ended up getting some results, which are about to be published – so that’s pretty good for Josh. Working with people at BlueFern, I know that Josh just had a ball. He’s a pretty smart guy but to be able to achieve what he did in such a short space of time, in months rather than years, and without any formal courses, is pretty phenomenal.

Professor Mike Steel

Josh Smith

It’s either when you find something really surprising or when something suddenly makes sense. You can spend ages on things and get absolutely nowhere, and that’s when you should probably give up.

So where to from here? We’ve developed a theoretical framework that seems to be new and useful for biologists and biochemists that are working in this area, and we’re starting to look at what’s known about real living systems, such as primitive bacteria. Ultimately I guess we’d like to try and apply some of this theory in a more experimental way. Most of this work has been fairly theoretical, but the biologists and biochemists who work on the origin of life seem to be genuinely interested in it, so it’s going down quite well.

Super Computer { Canta 2014 }

{ Feature }

WHERE ART MEETS MECHANICAL ENGINEERING Words by Hannah Herchenbach, Photography by Mitchell Bright

Ellen Palmer wishes she had never printed the Venus de Milo. The Mechanical Engineering student made the figurine with the department’s 3D printers as a way to help explain art to people with sight impairments – but hadn’t thought through the consequences. “You do need to give a visually impaired person some context to what you’re giving them,” Palmer says. “It can be a bit awkward saying, ‘So she’s naked, and that’s a breast, but that’s her hair in a bun, not another breast on the back of her head. And you have to explain she’s wearing a piece of fabric wrapped around her to preserve her modesty, but you can see her butt cheeks. You end up having this quite personal discussion. I didn’t really think about that before I printed it.” Over 600,000 people live with disability in New Zealand. One of those is Palmer’s partner CP, a 42-year-old winemaker whose eyes were removed when he was diagnosed with retinoblastoma at 1 1/2 back in ‘73.

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He hands over an eye. “They’re polymer,” Lin says. “They’re made to fit – like contact lenses. I got them removed because the eyes were cancerous.” Lin is the inspiration behind Palmer’s innovative work with the 3D printers. “I was frustrated about not being able to describe things to CP very accurately,” Palmer said. “Then I realised you can use 3D printing to do this – to make something you can actually feel instead of trying to scratch round in the back of your brain to describe something.” Palmer, herself a statuesque brunette with porcelain skin, is finishing her BsC in Geography this semester on top of the Mechanical Engineering degree she earned last year. The Venus de Milo figurine was part of her final year project for Engineering, in which Palmer crafted miniature scale models of everyday items that sight-impaired people would be unlikely to touch: a bear, the Empire State Building, the Venus de Milo. The idea was that Lin could experience the world more easily alongside her.

You can use 3D printing to make something you can actually feel instead of trying to scratch round in the back of your brain to describe something.

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UC Innovators manager Rachel Wright, who helped Palmer workshop the project over the summer, says Palmer is really quite empathetic. “That’s one of her main strengths – her ability to understand and appreciate what that person is going through and come up with solutions for them.” Don Clucas supervised the final-year Mechanical Engineering project, and said the fact that Palmer brought her pieces to the blind community and had them test them was “quite a special thing.” Though Palmer admits MaterialEyes is “in the early stages”, the Blind and Low Vision Education Network of New Zealand already plans to trial some of the 3D printed objects with its students. Will it change the way the 12,000 people in New Zealand with visual impairments see the art world? Palmer hopes so. She dreams of visually impaired arts connoisseurs in New Zealand having a similar experience to the one she and Lin had at The Met, where visitors are provided with a book in Braille, and audio guide and a list of things that can be touched. The pair was gutted to find a dearth of options for the sight-impaired at the City Gallery in Auckland. “They hadn’t even thought about it.”

Though she is looking to secure funding, “It’s kind of a chicken-egg situation: to get the funding and actually make things happen, you need interest from the people who would use it, but the people who would use it don’t know that it could be possible to do these things, so they don’t show an interest.”

“He would have, say, a pigeon and deconstruct it,” Lin explains. “Heart on a skewer, breast poached, legs confit.” “I would say, ‘That’s what Picasso does,’’ Palmer says. “Both take apart an object and puts it back together in a different way.”

To her it makes sense. “When you grow up not seeing you kind of get used to not being able to understand or experience what people are talking about in the visual world, a lot of people become quite narrow in their focus. They wouldn’t think to go to an art gallery, because what would be there for them?”

The winemaker and the student met at a Pinot Noir tasting set up through UC’s wine club back in 2011.

“A lot of the work I have been doing over the summer is actually just been telling blind people, explaining to them what is possible,” Palmer says. “You could actually experience what we are seeing through a tactile model.”

If there was any question about what tastes the couple shared beyond art aesthetics, the bottles of wine, blue-satinboxed whiskey glasses and various coffeemaking contraptions in the home they share are the first hints. “Put it this way: every day we drink either tea, or coffee, or wine – or all three,.” Palmer smiles. “And sometimes whiskey too.”

Prior to her work with tactile models, Palmer leaned on the artistry of Lin’s favourite chefs to help translate the world to him. After learning Lin was a fan of British chef Hester Blumenthal, she described Picasso as “the Blumenthal of the art world.”

“Ellen was asking all kinds of questions,” remembers Lin. “And CP answers all my questions well,” Palmer says.

She guides the a bottle of wine into Lin’s hand. “Because of CP, I pay a lot more attention to taste and smell. I taste better now. And I smell better. I actually do.”

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{ Travel }

A GUIDE TO CHINA Max Carter-Smith

Max jetted off to China with the MGMT228 summer course back in November 2013. After a couple of months of hard work, studying in Hangzhou, he decided to get better acquainted with the world’s next superpower. Now, after really getting stuck into the culture and quirks of the country, Max is ready to tell you everything you need to know for your next big trip to China. Food If I’m honest, when I thought of China I was expecting weird meals of noodles and rice. But it turns out that if you can dream about it, you can order it in China. I saw pretty much everything over there. They don’t like wasting parts of an animal so everything is eaten, or has a purpose – expect to see chicken heads and legs. You can notice the difference in tastes depending on the province that you’re in. The south dishes tend to be sweeter, less spicy and consist of rice, while the northern provinces prefer spicy, sour, and noodles. The biggest thing for me was the difference in price with New Zealand. I found if I was careful about what I ate, I could find offerings that were affordable, healthy, and delicious without too much trouble. Fruit was juicy, widely available, and cheap. I bought three or four of the juiciest, flavour filled mandarins a day at $1 a kg. And if you went out for dinner you could usually find a meal for two or three people for $5.

Economy I was rather surprised when I visited a local factory in Ningbo that manufactures clothing for Portmans. I didn’t expect the factory to provide bonuses as incentives. It turns out that they not only have a base rate salary, but they also have bonuses for not being late, key performance indicator bonuses, and a housing package if the workers choose not to stay in the purpose built dormitories. At this factory, the rooms are provided for free, unlike others in China, which deduct the cost from workers’ salaries. The dormitories also have family rooms, which is uncommon. Despite the history and bad reputation China may have overseas, there are factories and people who care and look after their workers.

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It felt like someone had played with a saturation slider.

China has only just introduced drinkdriving laws, so if you can drunkenly mumble your order you’ll be served. Environment Having wandered the eastern seaboard and down the middle of China, the toll of heavy pollution is evident. In the onset of winter it felt like someone had played with a saturation slider. Everything was grey with muted colours, vegetation was harsh and stunted, and my entire time there I was hard pressed to spot wild animals and insects be they birds, spiders, or ants. This may be different during summer, but I’m not so sure. Rubbish was only noticeable when on the outskirts of cities, with it lying in between shanties, and became a more pressing issue when leaving the wealthy eastern seaboard. Some of the lower tier cities situated in central China had rubbish strewn along sidewalks, in rivers, and in large piles alongside housing.

The Great Outdoors For me the most memorable outdoor experience was climbing Mt. Huangshan; a large granite mountain with historical importance to Chinese culture, as it is said that the yellow emperor ascended to heaven there. The views from the top of the mountain are breathtaking, if the stairs don’t get to you first. It’s a pretty long and steep walk up there. I also went to Westlake, which is in the small city of Hangzhou. Sadly when I was there the first time smog made an appearance, which wasn’t great for the views. But on a good day, Westlake has influenced poets and painters through China’s history and has been one of the most influential sources of inspiration for Chinese garden designers.

Nightlife China has only just introduced drink-driving laws, so if you can drunkenly mumble your order you’ll be served. I’ve had some of my best and worst nights out in China, with memories few and far between. I remember the first club we visited during a weekend break of studying at Zhejiang Gongshang University well. It was a packed out nightclub in Westlake laced with lights, LEDs, TVs and speakers that would be the envy of every bar, nightclub, and venue in Christchurch with scores of live entertainment to boot. We paid $20 for 6 drinks of our choice which were poured in pint glasses at a 50/50 mix,

and because we were European and from New Zealand, we were given free bottles of vodka and other spirits at the table. The club itself was packed with what seemed like a smorgasbord of Europe, Russia, and China. Needless to say, it was a devilishly good night. While these nightclubs seemed to follow us everywhere we went from Hangzhou to Guilin, there were definitely more laidback establishments in alcoves down small alleyways that provided just as much entertainment in the form of bad karaoke and $5 long island iced teas.

Travel Travelling in China is a breeze if you can overcome the language barrier. The metros are easy to navigate and most cities have them. The buses are regular and cost $0.20 in the summer and $0.40 in the winter, because they turn the heaters on. If you’re traveling between cities, you have the option of flying, but I’d recommend taking a train – you’ll see more and eastern China is linked by high-speed rail. Travelling at 350km/h is almost surreal as you go sailing past the massive billboards and pylons. If you get the chance I’d recommend taking the maglev between Pudong and Shanghai, it travels at 450km/h and is exhilarating! Just one thing – make sure that if you’re booking rail you don’t book a standing ticket. A friend of mine made that mistake once and he won’t be making it again. According to him, it was 15 hours of hell in a sardine can.

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{ Club Profile }

A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF HUGE!

Leigh McGowan

Huge! is a club on campus made up of the young adults from ARISE Church. Aside from seeing us at clubs day and out and about at various events, you probably don’t know much about what we do. To get you in the loop, here’s a run down on what it’s like to be part of Huge!, where we hang out, and what we do. Monday: I have quite a few friends from

Huge! on campus. Usually, when I arrive at my classes in the morning I can find one of these familiar faces to enjoy/endure the lecture with. We often get a group studying in the library too – it’s great to have people to study with and keep you focussed. One time we took a study break and played sardines on the fifth floor. We got some weird looks, but it was hilarious.

Tuesday: I’ll usually head out to a lifegroup

during the week. There are heaps on different days, with a variety of styles and interests to choose from. The mountain biking lifegroup head out on Tuesday evenings. We usually go up to the trails around Victoria Park in the Port Hills, and we do a downhill ride every few weeks. It’s great to head out with the guys and thrash the bike every so often.

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Wednesday: Especially during market days,

clubs days, and O-Week, I often see Huge on campus somewhere, doing a sausage sizzle, giving away free waffles on the library steps, or helping out the UCSA.

Thursday: I usually go to a Thursday

lifegroup at my friends flat. I head around early and grab some dinner with the guys. It’s nice to go to a flat, with a semi-nice meal, and some second year students with some great stories. Sometimes the pastors from ARISE come along too. I find that when we discuss the Bible at lifegroup, it’s always relevant to my life and study.

Friday: Aside from Lifegroups, the crew are

often hanging out around Christchurch – it’s been the best way for me to check out this great city. We’ve gone to Taylors Mistake and had a massive bonfire and beach volleyball, rocked up the Port Hills for a campfire & singalong, and been out to one of the families at church who live outside of Christchurch and let off fireworks.

Sunday: Of course, as part of a church,

Huge! is well involved on Sundays. We meet at the Aurora Centre, corner of Greers Rd & Memorial Ave in Burnside. Services are at 9am, 11am and 5pm on Sundays, so there are plenty of options. I usually head to the 5pm service, and afterwards there is always a hangout. It might be at Burger Fuel, a cafe, a picnic in the local parks, or at someone’s house or flat. Huge! is a great club to be a part of; both on and off campus. You meet some great people and there’s always something to do. And we’ve got an open door, so whether or not you’ve been part of a church before, come check it out!

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R18 EvEnt MoRE info @ ucsa.oRg.nz

{ What’s Been } Arts Week photography by Seung-Woo Hong If we print this...we get free ‘V’? Right?

ARTS WEEK IN THE UNDERCROFT

The shroud of Turin wasn’t all she’d hoped it would be

I guess I gotta say, today was a good day

Demonstrating the loosest possible definitions of ‘guitar’ and ‘hero’ in the Undercroft

Real guitars. Meh. They’ll never catch on

UCOM BALL AT BARDELLO

UCom Ball photography by Samara Doole Nothing says “Honestly, I didn’t hire this suit from Hallensteins” like a brightly coloured bowtie

At the end of the night, that hairy caterpillar turned into a beautiful beautiful butterfly.

I haven’t seen this much pink since (insert your own vajayjay joke here)

The rest of his band had ordered the fish. Never order the fish...

{ Canta 2014 }

WHAT’S ON Extant – Bing Dawe and Ben Reid

The Riot Store Double Bill

Tuesday 20 – Saturday 31 May 11am – 5.30pm 241 Chambers Gallery

Thursday 22 May 9pm Winnie Bagoes City $30

Student Forum with the Vice Chancellor

For two nights only, comedians Ben Hurley and Brendhan Lovegrove come together in Christchurch.

Wednesday 21 May 11.30am The Living Room

Wednesday 28 May 11am Middle of campus The V Chilly Bin Race lets students race the V Energy motorised chilly bins around a purpose built course in the middle of campus! All participants on the day go in the draw to win a ride in a V8 Super Car.

HUGE! All-in Wednesday 21 May 6pm Jack Mann Auditorium

Careers Expo Thursday 22 – Saturday 24 May 9am-3pm CBS Canterbury Arena FREE Whether you’re leaving school or are trying to decide what and where to study next, you’ll find information on which of New Zealand’s industries need you and what they need you to know.

Lunchtime Concert

V Chilly Bin Race Track

Shayna King – The Day Is Young Tour with Jaz Peterson Thursday 22 May 9.00pm Darkroom FREE

Research Roulette Friday 23 May 6.00pm The Shilling Club Contact: info@canterburypgsa.org.nz

Thursday 22 May 1pm UC School Of Music FREE See UC School of Music Piano students in recital.

Conquer Stress! Wednesday 28 May 5pm – 6.30pm The Living Room (next to UBS) FREE Free event with student panel and guest speakers plus food and prizes! Come along and find out what stress is and how to deal with it so it doesn’t hold you back.

Talent Night Saturday 31 May 8-9pm The Potters House FREE

RDU Roundup Finals Whistle And I’ll Come To You Thursday 22 – Sunday 25 May 8.30-10pm Ferrymead Heritage Park $40 An interactive live theatre project is inspired by the classical Victorian ghost story by M.R. James. Includes a pre-show ghost walk around the grounds of the Edwardian township.

Friday 23 May 8.00pm Dux Live FREE

Medieval Dance Classes Monday 26 May 7-9pm KH07

Prizes awarded for the best performances. Live music with live judges. One night only. A free event sponsored by the Potters House Christchurch. Register online or call 027 816 839

The Chills Sunday 1 June 7-11pm Churchill’s Tavern The Chills return to Christchurch for Queens Birthday Weekend, playing a special early show.

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PUZZLE TIME

THE QUIZNEZZ 1) Which singer joined Mel Gibson in the movie Mad Max: Beyond The Thunderdome? 2) Vodka, Galliano and orange juice are used to make which classic cocktail?

AND THE WINNER IS... The winner of our ‘make your own art’ competition was Ellen Dixon, for this picture of Elvis … deep-throating a chainsaw?

3) Which American state is nearest to the former Soviet Union? 4) At which battle of 1314 did Robert The Bruce defeat the English forces? 5) On TV, who did the character Lurch work for? 6) How many tentacles does a squid have? 7) Which reggae singing star died 11th May 1981? 8) What is converted into alcohol during brewing? 9) Name the two families in Romeo and Juliet? 10) In the song, Heartbreak Hotel is on which street?

ANSWERS: 1)TINA TURNER 2)HARVEY WALLBANGER 3)ALASKA 4)BANNOCKBURN 5)ADDAMS FAMILY 6)TEN 7)BOB MARLEY 8)SUGAR 9)MONTAGUE & CAPULET 10)LONELY STREET

Pick up your Donna Hay, The New Classics, cookbook from the UCSA reception. Thanks for doing the ’shrooms and posting this.

SU-DOH!-KU

{ Canta 2014 }

MINI CROSSWORD

UCSA OFFICE – UNDERCROFT WEEKDAYS 9AM – 3PM

www.u csa.or g.nz

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