Canta, Issue 3, 2014 by UCSA

{Issue 3 March 12 2014}

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{ Contents }

THINGS WE LEARNED THIS ISSUE

6 8

The Letters section is full of your favourite complaints! 1930s fashion crimes feature.

Worm poo has a special name. It’s vermicast. Learn more in “A Guide To Container Gardening.”

Social media and a drinking game combine, creating shitty videos and death. Is Neknominate still worth playing? You decide!

10 12

Canta has cross issue dialogue, It’s all happening right here.

MUSOC are doing a musical! Keep it sassy, keep it classy…keep it gay!

This issue of Canta is about Christchurch and Street Art. Inside there are many pretty pictures and explanations on the scene from people who have a knowledge base far exceeding mine. My one observation is that Street Art takes an otherwise sterile or derelict environment and transforms it into something substantial, a thing that smirks and sinks itself into the street with menace. I like that. However, I also think being sterile holds an important place in our lives. This is why I am now going to discuss soap.

Places that exist in the CBD, You want to go to there.

Reuben Woods knows a bunch on street art. He takes a walk around the city and answers the question our curious minds ask when we see what lies in the CBD, “What is that?”

Recently at the mall I was feeling frisky. I walked past The Body Shop, stopped. Walked back past the shop, stopped outside. Went inside and declared proudly to the nearest shop attendant that I was looking to purchase a gift, of soap, for my mother. Menopausal women within one kilometre let out a soft moan. It was a lie, I wanted some fancy soap, but this felt wrong. The last couple of years I have used shower gel and most of the time it’s been a two in one, a shampoo and soap concoction. This soap was too gosh darn lovely. The women in the shop went sour as I left, spitting lotion samples onto my exposed skin for not buying anything. I decided a bar of plain soap from the supermarket would work for me. It would be different, but not over stimulating. Weirdly, on the shelves close to the soap are condoms and panadol sitting side by side. If a condom is giving you a headache, try a bigger size.

UCPsyc are putting on a bus trip to pubs outside the standard Riccarton experience. Take in new surroundings as your head fills with fluid.

How does a Red Card night look when portrayed on stage? We have a review for you here.

I settled for a pack of four yellow bricks that were tucked away on the bottom. They looked neglected and I wanted them, needed them. I couldn’t wait to take it home and cover myself in its lather, only to then wash it off and feel so clean, so sterile, and so very fresh. Anyhow, hygiene is important. I know the soap on campus is a bit strange. It comes out as foam, as if the dispenser was caught swearing and then punished, so you get this frothy shit from its wee mouth. But you still need it and I know it wants you, bad. Please everyone, remember to wash your hands.

Callum Ching Deputy Editor

{ Canta 2014 }

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CONTRIBUTORS Elisha Nuttall Aka Student Economist

Reuben Woods

Bill Dieckermann

Jennifer Smith

PhD Art History ‘15

BSc Maj Economics and Finance ‘ 14 Age 21

Have you seen the Banksy exhibit currently on show at the Canterbury Museum?

LLB/BA in Economics ‘15 Age 21

Law and Political Science ‘16 Age 20

Have you seen the Banksy exhibit currently on show at the Canterbury Museum?

Yep, I was involved in several aspects. I know the collection of Banksy prints is ‘the headliner’, but it dismisses the contributions of all the other artists - including local stars like Wongi Wilson, Ikarus and YIkes, New Zealand’s brightest, like Askew, Eno, BMD, Ghstie, and the international heavy weights like Ian Strange/ Kid Zoom, ROA, Rone and Sofles...

Have you seen the Banksy exhibit currently on show at the Canterbury Museum?

I did and I loved it.

No, but I might go have a look now I know of it!

Negative. I heard about it but can’t say I have been planning on going.

Was Leo robbed of an Oscar? Yes he was robbed. Despite the Wolf of Wall Street being an insult to everything finance, he played the roll fantastically well.

The best place to be in Christchurch is... The port hills. Sunrise, sunset, or misty haze, there is plenty of sights to see and places to explore.

If you were a can of spraypaint, which kind would you be? As a kid I used a can of speckled grey spraypaint, it blew my mind a little at the time. So i’ll build on that and go for green-blue speckled.

Who is your favourite artist? My favourite performing artist at the moment would be Lorde (classic bandwagon) but i don’t really have a favourite visual artist, I just enjoy the variety around.

Was Leo robbed of an Oscar? I think he was a victim of the Academy righting the wrong of snubbing McConaughy’s performance as Wooderson in Dazed & Confused, alright alright alright...

The best place to be in Christchurch is... The backyard of my childhood home.

Was Leo robbed of an Oscar? He was not robbed of an Oscar. It’s an unwritten rule of Hollywood that Leo has no claim of right to an Oscar. Ever. Even if he gave the best performance ever.

The best place to be in Christchurch is... It’s definitely Christchurch International Airport. From there you can catch a plane to a plethora of better places such as Singapore, Dunedin and Hokitika.

If you were a can of spraypaint, which kind would you be?

Lady Gaga matte. It’s the visual equivalent of her fragrance in that it’s the colour of blood and semen.

Flat black.

Who is your favourite artist?

Marcel Duchamp. Definitely. His Fountain was an inspiration to me in my formative years.

Too hard! Can I name two that come to mind at this instant? Vhils and Invader, both for the way their work engages with the built environment.

Contributors Emma Clarke, Bill Dieckermann, Rachael Gresson, Saemah Hafeez, Joshua Neville, Adam Nisbett, Elisha Nuttall, Jennifer Smith, Jessica Todd, Reuben Woods.

Send us your stories, photographs, epiphanies canta@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz

Was Leo robbed of an Oscar? Nah, he just spent the entire movie either smirking or shouting at people.

The best place to be in Christchurch is... Right now, somewhere warm and dry with many blankets. Bed.

If you were a can of spraypaint, which kind would you be? Purple with a silver shimmer!

Who is your favourite artist? Bill Hammond and Johannes Vermeer.

Editor At Large Hannah Herchenbach Deputy Editors Callum Ching and Annalee Jones Designer Emily McCormick Money Honey Simone Missbrandt Webmaster Ryan Astle

{ Letters to the Editor }

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TOASTIES ANYONE? Dear UC, I am wondering, what constitutes an ‘adult’ student? I have seen their club at clubs day today and spotted they have their own wee house on Creyke Road. Do I get to use their adult student facilities as I am a legal adult in all aspects of NZ law at 21, or can 18 year old freshers even utilise these mature students’ toastie makers? What is the cut off age to be an ‘adult’ student here at UC? Why do they get special treatment when for the most part every single student at UC, barring poor freshers born in the earlier half of the year, are legally adults. I want to have a cute little weatherboard house with an official looking sign on it at my disposal. Lezbihonest, probs wouldn’t use it (unless aforementioned toastie maker was available) but it’s the principle. Let’s get this shit cleared up before I storm their kitchen. Chur Over-Privileged White Girl

FROM THE ARCHIVES Canta Vol 1, April, 1930

Oh spiffing George, that’s corking news! Say, chap, how was pitching woo with that butter and fly egg last evening?

YOU WHINGEY BASTARD Dear Canta Where do you find these half-wit writers? In last week’s edition, some guy by the name of Nicholas Evans (I’m assuming that it’s a pseudonym) wrote in defence of the current student allowance system. All I can say is that thank god Tim Bain had something decent to say or I might have had to stop reading canta after the rubbish scribbled down by Mr Evans. Right at the outset, he tricks readers by saying that “the government tests income levels when deciding who may receive government benefits”. Why, hello?? What about the biggest government dish-out…. The National Super? Maybe you forgot to mention that even millionaires can take home the Super because it’s nearly impossible to defend the current pathetic student allowance system and you had to write something to get to your 800 word quota. Further to this he state that the current system is “still the most effective one when targeting the least privileged groups in society”. Well, fuck me, because if my parents earn $95,000, I will end up with a $70,000 loan after my five years where as your friends on the ‘left’ who have parents who earn like $85,000 or less will come out Scott-free thanks to MY parent’s taxes paying for their education. The real point here is that me and ‘leftie’ will come out with the same degree and earning power, yet I have a $70,000 flipp’ loan hanging over my head for the next 10 years. Talk about inequality all right! So, is that really that best situation for NZ’er entering the workforce to be in Mr Evans? Because I sure as hell don’t think so! Freddy Freespeech

To the Editor, Sir, I beg to register here the supreme disapproval of a large number of students with respect to the conduct of their fellow students (?) both male and female. A certain section of ‘Varsity has developed the habit of frequenting the streets of our garden city attired in the usual floppy flannel plants- which is really quite a good thing-but surmounted by a blazer and, some-times, an open shirt. Sir, we do not object to the pants and certainly not to the shirt, be it open or closed, but we reprehend severely the malpractice of disfiguring and disgracing our otherwise respectable blazer by associating it with anything other than impeccable ‘whites.’ We realise that the girls’ case is somewhat different and we do not object to a red splosh of colour to look at instead of the perhaps unusual form and features. The added tint, if they are at all dark, often heightens their colour and complexion, producing a not unpleasing result. But with the men, the handsome beauty of their countenances needs no extraneous help from a maroon blazer. Now becoming serious, I would like to emphasize the disgust with which we view people, not in flannels, wearing ‘Varsity blazers. There is a legend or unwritten rule that ‘Varsity blazers must be worn with flannels only. I hope the Students Association will take the matter up and enforce this rule- if it be one. I am, yours in indignation, CAUSA BLAZORUM BELLI.

{ Canta 2014 }

GUEST EDITORIAL Jessica Todd

Bear with me for a second, as I’m about to get a tiny bit sappy, angry and nostalgic: Fuck you, Earthquakes! I miss old Christchurch.

The one I’d waited 18 years to properly experience. None of this hanging out at Riccarton Mall or the bus exchange trying to feel like we were doing something. I wanted to finish up at uni for the day and head on into town for a casual drink with my friends, I wanted to wander through city mall with a coffee in hand, I wanted to explore those strange little back alleys that Christchurch used to have, I wanted to have friends with apartments in those old brick buildings where there would be parties filled with interesting people, I wanted to go to a bar in SOL square and not be worried that they wouldn’t accept my fake ID, I wanted to make friends with musos and go to see their bands play – I’d probably be dating one of the members, bazinga. I wanted to be an adult in my city. It was probably rather fanciful and pretty unrealistic but I have this crazy nostalgia for what could have been. A few of my friends who are just that little bit older than me have these stories based around having a life in

the CBD. I listen to them and think, “Godfreaking-damnit! I JUST missed out. I was THIS close!” Feb 22 happened on my second day of university ever and, for those of us who were first years in 2011, our university experience at Canterbury will always be uniquely defined by 20 seconds of shaking. Despite my nostalgia for what I could have had in this city, I truly enjoy living here. We have gained a luxury of choosing what we want our experience to be defined by. I’ve chosen to define mine by the friends I’ve made, the adoration I have for what I’m studying and the personal growth I’ve made having to grow up very quickly in a very strange time. Shit’s about to get real in Christchurch. We’ve made it through the emergency phase, the demolition phase and now we’re hitting the ‘official rebuild’ phase. Christchurch felt magical to me on that precipice of adulthood. I loved walking through Cathedral Square on my way to work. During the summer there were markets and that guy who played the recorder REALLY well. There’s a tiny bit of magic left but in like a post-Frodo-throwing-the ring-in-thevolcano kind of way. The danger is over, the journey walked and now the elves are leaving Christchurch to the humans.

PRESIDENT’S PIECE Sarah Platt Thankfully the start of this week, though a little on the wintery side, doesn’t even begin to compare to last week’s mother of all storms. Apparently it was a one-in-a-hundred year storm with rainfall at its most intense since 1975. I wasn’t even born in 1975...I wasn’t even a twinkle in my Father’s eye …in fact I’m pretty sure my parents weren’t even married in 1975. Point being; 1975 was a long time ago. A lot of rain has fallen since then. Luckily for my flatmates and I our flat survived relatively unscathed, except for the roof leaking like a sieve. In multiple places there was a constant stream of water flowing through the ceiling which resulted in several rather oversized puddles in our hallway. Our landlord’s solution was to bring round a dehumidifier. A dehumidifier! Though, compared to some of the other suburbs around Christchurch our little old flat didn’t come off too badly. Hopefully you and your flat/home/tent/ garage/bus/Hall of Residence or whatever other living situation you might be in, endured the storm, though if it didn’t or you need a helping hand to get back on your feet come in and see us! This week’s Canta is all about experiencing the wonders Christchurch has to offer. My life as a University student started in 2011, my second day of lectures was February 22nd. Some of you may recall that on that day Mother Nature had somewhat of a temper

tantrum which resulted in no Uni for a few weeks followed by lectures in tents, and to some extent a broken city. Over the last three years I have seen this city pick itself up and begin the rebuild. Of course it will take time but we have a blank canvas, an opportunity to create the greatest city in the world and we as students have the chance, the very rare chance to be a part of that. Make sure you take the time to explore Christchurch and beyond - really get out and about. You will regret nothing more than coming to the end of your degree and subsequently perhaps your time in Christchurch and realising you never really stepped out of the Ilam bubble! One of my more resent excursions from our wee Ilam bubble was just this weekend where I made the trip to Hokitika with ENSOC and MOTOSOC for the Wild Foods Festival. Among other things I ate Huhu Grubs. It was great. I highly recommend it - the trip to Wild Foods, not the eating of Huhu Grubs, though to be fair they weren’t all that bad. As you flick through the following pages, put your ‘ready for adventure’ hat on and start making a list of all the sites you want to see and places you want to visit during your time in Christchurch. Have a great week! Sarah

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Point }

NEKNOMINATE, Bill Dieckermann

If the sensationalist tabloid press and our moral guardians are to be believed, neknomination is a dangerous new internet meme that must be stopped at all costs before it is too late and kills more people. The truth is Neknomination is neither more dangerous than planking, tebowing and all the other memes that came before it, nor is it more dangerous than the drinking games that we students have played for generations. For those who have been living under a rock, Neknomination is what would have happened if Pay It Forward had been set in a university rather than an elementary school. A person sculls an alcoholic beverage on film and then nominates other individuals to do the same. Usually it is just a vessel of beer but like with planking some like to take it to extremes and not without consequence. So the big question is: has Neknomination gone too far? In its basic form it clearly has not gone too far. A person sculls a beer and then challenges others to do the same on camera. The most dangerous thing here is posting the video to Facebook where your conservative relatives, who have a very rudimentary grasp of social media, can see it and ostracise you for being loose. As a comparison, in a boat racing competition two teams of four scull a beer each with the winning team progressing to further rounds where there will be more beer sculling. Similarly in beer pong each team will drink a number of beers depending on how much they fill the cups and how badly they lose. If alcohol consumption and binge drinking behaviour are your measure of whether Neknomination has gone too far then clearly Neknomination is very tame. However tame Neknomination may be in its most common form, the moral guardians of the world will always make judgements based on the most dangerous, most sensational, most disgusting version of the game. A quick Google will uncover videos of Neknominators downing 21 shots like at a girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 21st, blending spiders and mice into their lager, jumping into rivers and much more. If this is Neknomination then surely it has gone too far? The problem here is that a Google search will always return a much more sensational sample of videos. The vast majority of Neknomination videos are private videos on Facebook pages, which can only be seen by friends of the persons involved. Most people are keen to keep their social lives relatively private from the likes of potential employers. The more public videos

{ Canta 2014 }

generally will belong to those who could not care less about who sees them or even worse, revel in publicity that their video might get them. These videos will have more views; will be more likely to go viral and create the impression that Nekonomination is inherently dangerous and stupid. By the same token one would come to the conclusion that all Arabs fire guns from their cars, all Russians are crazy drivers and all cats do dumb cute shit. If Neknomination is nothing more than a drunken version of planking, which some Darwin award nominees take a little too seriously, then why is too far? The moral guardians of our society point to the sensationalised reports of deaths associated with the game. They point to the story of the Irishman who jumped into a freezing Dublin river after sculling a beer or the chav who drank motor oil, saying that the peer pressure generated by the game caused them to die. Firstly, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highly unlikely that someone who would drink motor oil to prove their manliness was going to live much longer, so it is not such a huge loss. Secondly, those who die form a very small subsection of Neknominators. Just like the plankers who died before them and the Tebowers who got hit by trains. The reason they died is not because of the game but because they made a choice to take it too far. At the very worst the deaths are not because of the game per se, but are merely symptomatic of our deeply ingrained binge drinking culture and love of internet fame, which encourages certain individuals to attempt feats of stupidity. Neknomination is a tame game which looks like child play next to the adult drinking games we play in New Zealand universities, which the odd bogan or chav takes to the extreme in the same way they play bourbon pong and boat race with vodka. To say it has gone too far is to ignore the world that existed before Neknomination. P.S. While writing this article, I sculled a beer. I nominate Jennifer Smith.

The moral guardians of the world will always make judgements based on the most dangerous, most sensational, most disgusting version of the game.

{ Counterpoint }

E, NEK MINUTE... Jennifer Smith

Neknomination is a new drinking game where people video themselves consuming alcohol in some unusual situation and “neknominate” friends, challenging them to make an even more outrageous or gutsy video. It’s a global trend which has been spreading fast – Neknominate Facebook pages have got tens of thousands of “likes” within days. For most participants, it’s just a bit of harmless fun. One Australian “Neknominate” video features someone pouring a beer into a toilet and having his friends lift him up to drink out of the bowl. Others show people drinking alcohol with dog food or motor oil. Human rights activists railed against a Neknomination stunt where a man slit a slaughtered deer’s throat and drank its blood from the severed artery. An Irish 19 year old died after sculling a pint of beer and jumping into a river. In London a hostel worker died in hospital after consuming a cocktail of wine, whisky, vodka and lager. Our newsfeeds are usually clogged with videos of people drinking a pint in a random place or time of day with their friends guffawing in the background, not consuming live goldfish or litres of hard liquor. Yet a trend this prolific is bound to reach and influence some people who are more inclined to engage in reckless behaviour. But if the people videoing themselves performing messed-up stunts are more likely to behave recklessly anyway, then why does Neknominate play an important part? The answer lies in the reason it has become so popular: it taps into people’s competitive nature and gives them a chance to prove how tough or ballsy they are on a public forum. One of the main premises of the game is that you have to outdo the person who neknominated you, so the outrageousness of the stunts escalates as it spreads. Numerous public Facebook pages showcase the “best” Neknomination videos, adding to the incentive to do something even more shocking and dangerous than everyone else. Irish 20 year old Bradley Earns said he had to “show who’s boss” before he consumed two pints of gin and became the fifth person to die after participating in Neknomination. This instinct to push harder, break boundaries and impress our friends is coupled with the peer pressure that goes hand in hand with Neknomination. The official New Zealand Neknomination Facebook page states “don’t break the chain, don’t be a dick.” If someone refuses to carry out their Neknomination they’re accused of being too pussy or lame for ruining the game. It’s pretty sad to recognise that even though young people today are prepared to stand up against

This instinct to push harder, break boundaries and impress our friends is coupled with the peer pressure that goes hand in hand with Neknomination. old prejudices for the sake of freedoms, like marriage equality and equal rights, we’re often too chicken to stand against a stupid idea if it means our friends will respect us less for it. But that’s the unfortunate reality, and that reality is a driving force behind Neknomination pushing people over the line and going too far. We’ve seen bizarre fads sweep through social media before. Some of them are a little bit quirky and cute, like cat breading. Some of them seem a little bit pointless and odd, like planking. What they all have in common is that they fizzle out as quickly as they boomed. When it comes down to it, Neknomination is another one of these short-lived fads. What sets it apart is that it combines a number of factors: a drive to “prove ourselves”, the urge to set ourselves apart and beat the rest and the pressure to impress our friends. This results in some tragic consequences. Family members of those who have died from their involvement in the game beg the world to “stop Neknomination before it’s too late”. Now’s the time to take their words on board and accept that Neknomination has gone too far. It’s time that Neknomination meets the same fate as planking and we recognise that there are other ways to prove our guts than just joining the herd and doing what we’re told.

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Opinion }

INEQUALITY - NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK? Elisha Nutall (‘Student Economist’)

Dear author of ‘The only thing trickling down is shit’ (Canta Vol. 1, Feb 26 2014), Your article has some of the most ridiculous claims I have heard in some time. Here are a few simple lessons in economics and how economies work for you to better your person. You mentioned an Oxfam report on rising inequality after the financial crisis. When times get tough replaceable people without skills get made redundant first. This leads to greater inequality as they earned the least in the first place. The conclusion you come to, however, is that the ultra rich are flourishing and this is bad because this causes inequality. Well that does cause inequality, but here is where you are fundamentally flawed. If my neighbour is raking in the dough, this certainly is not bad for me – it might be good for me. Suppose the two of us lived in a little economy of two together, where my income only rose a little, while his was rocketing up. I am better off, and my neighbour is much better off. This is good, right? But inequality in our little economy is rising. So this is bad, right? I really have no right to complain. But this is exactly what is happening in New Zealand currently. The very term ‘inequality’ is misleading as it misses whether individuals in a society are actually better off than they were before. Since the industrial revolution, incomes have increased more worldwide in 200 years than in the previous 1500 years before that. But you’re right in saying that firms will pay you what you are worth – why should they pay you more? If you’re on minimum wage then you’ve probably got minimum skills, minimum motivation, or both. People get paid based on how much their company values them. If you can get paid more elsewhere, you’ll move. So why don’t we increase the minimum wage to some arbitrary ‘living wage’? What have people on minimum been doing up to now? Not living? If you can’t afford a car or a cellphone plan I pity you, I do. But let’s not claim poverty. That would be an insult to one billion people worldwide who actually have nothing. Minimum wage laws knock out low paying jobs, which hurt those that are worst off. If the minimum wage goes up too fast watch those low paying jobs disappear, to be replaced by machines. Minimum wage laws do more for technology

{ Canta 2014 }

If you can’t afford a car or a cellphone plan I pity you, I do. But let’s not claim poverty. That would be an insult to one billion people worldwide who actually have nothing.

improvements than they do for the people they’re meant to help. Our hunger for influence and affluence is exactly what pulled the developed world out of tyranny and poverty, and into the free world we live in today. Capitalism has done more for global poverty than all the aid agencies combined. We have higher living standards than any generation or society to ever go before us. Capitalism isn’t perfect – it’s just the best system out there. And now to dismiss your most ridiculous claim of all: “[Does trickle down theory mean] all New Zealanders will benefit from economic growth? …I’ve not seen a scrap of evidence supporting this…” I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking for. I could make a bumper sticker, or a billboard to spell it out for you – economic growth

does benefit all groups in society, especially the poor. Economic growth means more jobs and better jobs. This means more opportunities, and more employees bidding up your wage. There will also be more taxes for government programmes, more charity, less unemployment, less crime, people will be happier, and the list goes on. Your calculation of a family with two working parents on minimum wage I find a bit ridiculous. Are these two adults only 18? What have they both been doing in order to not have a raise yet? A simple supermarket job often gets a 30-40cent raise a year. Entry-level construction jobs (no experience required) are well over $15 an hour. ‘Working poverty’ is what happens when a person or group of people spend too much on things that aren’t necessities and end up with not enough left for necessities. This is not a minimum wage problem; this is a lack of education, or lack of budgeting skills problem. But, either way, a person will only take a job if it makes them better off than the next best alternative for them, so more jobs is definitely better, if not just for the choice provided. Growing disparity is a sideshow for the real issue. More handouts to decrease disparity will just trap the poor into dependency and poor money management. Get them job opportunities or an education, and then it’s up to them to work hard and build a career from it.

13-433_Canta_Canterbury_200mm(w)x270mm(h)_v1.indd 1

4/02/14 11:45 am

{ Previews - MUSOC } MUSOC

MARCH 15 - 29

JACK MANN AUDITORIUM

PRESENTS

TICKETS $15 / $18 MUSOC.ORG.NZ

PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY

A LOVE LETTER TO CHEESY MELODRAMA Annalee Jones

Two weeks before opening night, MUSOC’s cast of The Producers is rehearsing in a repurposed Kirkwood classroom. You can’t quite feel the crazy in the air just yet, but there is a definite sense that it’s not far off. “We’re kind of approaching stressfulness now, but MUSOC’s always really good to work with because it is about having fun,” says Charlotte Taylor, who plays the wannabe Broadway baby, Ulla. Her character is a vivacious and attractive blonde bombshell from Sweden chasing her dreams of being on stage, with no qualms about what she has to do to get there. But the fabulous Ulla aside, The Producers is really a dude’s kind of show. Set in the 1950s, James Nightingale plays the seedy Broadway producer, Max Bialystock, who tries to convince a shy man-child and accountant, Leo Bloom (played by Josh Thia) that a tax loophole, which enables one to make more money from a flop than a success, is the perfect way to get rich quick. Although initially sceptical, Bloom comes around, and is lured into the scheme, excited at the prospect of becoming a Broadway producer. With the help of Nazi enthusiast, Franz Liebkind, with his script Springtime for Hitler, the pair set out to make their fortune by putting on the worst production ever made.

{ Canta 2014 }

“This is like one of those dream roles,” says Nightingale, “it’s very much a larger than life character, sort of big, bold, brassy Broadway. I’m this conniving producer who’s been trying to make a buck off anyone, and it’s kind of cool to play a character like that.” “A lot of the characters are about the ridiculousness of theatre,” adds Thia, “and that’s what the show is about – how ridiculous theatre can be, how overdramatic and cheesy, and frivolous it is.” Despite that sounding like a list of bad qualities, Nightingale thinks that they’re what make theatre so easy to fall for. “It’s a love letter as well. It’s making fun of all those clichés, but it’s also saying that they’re actually pretty awesome.” The love even extends to the stereotypical villain of the show, played by Sebastian Boyle. Despite having to get in touch with his inner playwright’s evil twin, Boyle says that the semi-psychotic but possibly misunderstood, Franz Liebkind, is a lot of fun to bring to life. “He’s frustrated and those kinds of characters are fun because they’re desperately trying to achieve something and just can’t see why

A lot of the characters are about the ridiculousness of theatre, and that’s what the show is about – how ridiculous theatre can be, how overdramatic and cheesy, and frivolous it is.

the world around them won’t allow it to happen. It’s fun to play because it’s like well, we’ve all got goals and we’re trying to achieve them, and when things don’t go to plan it can be very annoying. And Franz is just experiencing that, only his background is Nazism and clearing Hitler’s name.”

For an evening of questionable morals, fun loving show girls, and alternate perspectives on World War II, head over to Jack Mann Auditorium for MUSOC’s run of The Producers. Opens March 15.

{ News }

to meningococcal disease. Get immunised and know the symptoms. Talk to Student Health about vaccine options â&#x20AC;&#x201C; even if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been vaccinated before. The best vaccines currently available protect against about half the meningococcal disease in New Zealand, for up to 5 years.

IMM0219

Call 0800 IMMUNE or visit health.govt.nz/dontwait for more info

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A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO CONTAINER GARDENING Saemah Hafeez

If you’re unsure of how to feed yourself during those colder months or you simply want to add that extra bit of nutrient in your flat dinners then container gardening could be for you. This guide will focus on baby leaf plants, which are easy to grow, especially when just starting out, and thus are easy to reproduce if you stuff up the first time. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work out at the start, remember practise makes perfect!

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Step One

Get the right container. You will need a container that has not been used to store toxic chemicals and is at minimum around 10 cm in depth, which is required for good drainage. Speaking of drainage, if there are not holes in the bottom already, you will need to make some to ensure your new babies do not drown.

2 Step Two

Select your plants. Baby leafs like spinach, pak choi, or rocket are great because they can be repeatedly cut or harvested. You can buy packets of seeds from Bunnings or Oderings for around $3-4, or spend about the same on six baby seedlings.

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3 4 Step Three

Step Four

Remember the four key elements.

Place your container somewhere that you frequent a lot…

In order to grow your own plants the strength of natural resources are a must.

Earth The health of your plant depends on the health of soil or the compost mix you use. Try to get the best compost mix you can afford, and have a go at making your own liquid fertiliser. 30L Vegetable potting mix can be bought at Bunnings Warehouse for around $12.80.

Air Direct sow your seeds (or seedlings), spacing them 2-5cm apart. Don’t pack baby leaf plants in – give them plenty of spacing! Airflow around plants is important for disease prevention and CO2 intake. Tangled roots reduce air availability.

Fire (ie, light and warmth) Light creates photosynthesis, and warmth speeds up CO2 uptake. During colder months of the year your container garden should be placed in a sunny, sheltered spot inside or outside the house. You could also try making a little glass house by resting an old window on some bricks. You can find old windows at local demolition yards like the Pump House or Musgraves.

Water Over or under watering is the main problem with container gardening. The rule of thumb in order to avoid this is to check with your finger. Avoid soggy soil through free-draining mix and ensuring there are drainage holes in the bottom of each container.

like the lounge or on the windowsill in your kitchen above the sink. You’ll need to check on it frequently to make sure all the elements required are in balance.

5 6 Step Five

Give ‘em juice.

Once plant growth is speeding up and you start harvesting, try liquid fertiliser, seaweed fertiliser or Daltons NuFert (find it at Pikos wholefoods). If you’re feeling ambitious, try making your own homemade liquid fertiliser instead of spending money on something you may not get right the first time.

Place 2L compost, vermicast (worm poo!) or manure in a bucket (pref 20L) then blast it with a high-pressure hose and leave it for 24hrs or more. Dilute it with ten parts water to one part fertiliser until you have about 3-5 litres, then water your leafy babes.

Step Six

Become a lifelong learner. Once you’ve got all that sorted, visit UC’s Okeover community garden on Friday afternoons to learn more about growing your own veges! http://www.sustain.canterbury.ac.nz/comm_ garden/volunteer.shtml Brought to you by the UC Sustainability Office.

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RACHAEL GRESSON

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BRAD COTTAM

KELLY WILSON

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EMILY BAKER

We live at number 241, which is where the name comes from as we are two couples for the price of one, plus we have a bonus, so it seems to fit. Rachael and Kelly established the flat two years back. Brad and Emily have been together for over a year, and Rachael used to play basketball with Emily; so that’s how that happened. Lauren is an honorary member of the flat. Rachael, Kelly and Lauren also all decided it’d be a great idea to walk 100km in 24 hours all in the name of charity madness for the Oxfam Trailwaker. The flat is filled with photos of travelling from Rachael’s year studying abroad at UC Berkeley, and a bit of homeware from when Rachael and Kelly got a bit carried away with the nesting. There’s also a painting by Christchurch artist Tony Cribb, also known as Tin Man. “Kelly actually played basketball with his wife, so we saw his stuff and thought it was cool,” Rachael says. There’s also a gun, which belongs to Brad. For their first date Brad took Emily hunting. “We got a deer,” Emily says. “It was delicious.”

LAUREN STEWART

Emily is from Rangiora and is in her last year of doing early childhood teaching. Brad is in his last semester at UC, doing a History degree. First he tried Engineering, then found out he didn’t like Marketing, and also took time off to work for the Army, which included a semester in the cordons. “It was 5% excitement, and the rest was standing on a corner, watching broken buildings. I got real fat from everyone baking biscuits.” The Army wasn’t always part of his plan. “It was just an O Week thing; they had guns, I like guns, so that kind of happened. It’s the perfect part-time job. The pay’s pretty good to be perfectly honest.” At the moment Brad is working with the Methodist Mission, helping with a programme called Wise Up, which works with kids that have social issues. “It teaches them about different feelings and how they react with your body and ways that people can deal with them. That’s quite cool, getting into schools.” The Oxfam team are in their teal team shirts. “Our team is called Ox Factor, like X Factor but Ox,” Rachael says. It’s not too unfamiliar for Lauren, who graduated

UC a few years back and is now a Schools Co-ordinator for World Vision. Kelly is a personal trainer, but Rach is definitely the organiser for the team, Lauren and Kelly agree. She’s got her little stretching routine stuck to the side of the TV. “You have to commit to raise at least 2k to be in the competition. Your flights and accommodation is up to you, so it’s kind of an expense for Uni students, but it’s not too bad. We started seriously training in December, but not so seriously through January. So now we’re starting again.” “I’m sure there’s other Uni kids out there doing it too so it would be cool to hear about their training or lack thereof!” Learn more about the Oxfam Trail Walk at http://www.oxfamtrailwalker.org.nz and if you’ve fallen into a little cash lately and want to donate to a good cause check out the girls’ Ox Factor donation page at http://www.oxfamtrailwalker.org.nz/

otw14/teams/ox-factor

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What IsTh Hannah Herchenbach

Interest in street art in Christchurch has peaked with the RISE! exhibition in the Canterbury Museum and the sanctioned wall paintings across the city that complement it. But here’s why you will never go on the same street art walking tour as Reuben Woods. Reuben Woods is standing on Tuam Street, craning his neck at the twisted metal remains of a ravaged building. “It’s interesting isn’t it,” he mused, “because we’ve almost become accustomed to these things in the last three years. But it’s also quite raw. It’s right there.” It’s now trite to say that the quakes have irrevocably changed Christchurch in many ways. Not in the least that, while the repairs get underway, the walls and surfaces of the city are rife with underground street art and graffiti. Woods has turned his interest in documenting it into an Art History PhD. Interest in street art in Christchurch has peaked with the RISE! exhibition in the Canterbury Museum and the sanctioned wall paintings across the city that complement it. Woods first examined street art as part of an American Studies course on pop culture he took in 2004 as an undergrad, and then continued on with the research in Art History. After studying street art overseas, he returned just in time to see the city fall. “I couldn’t stop thinking about all these walls that were exposed, and how everything was broken. I thought, ‘Surely… you’ll get a scene explosion with these types of things that are so popular.’ “And sure enough, I think it has happened.” Though Woods had a small hand in helping curate the RISE! exhibition (the majority of the credit goes to Oi You! founders George Shaw and Shannon Webster), he is less interested in the murals than the bits and pieces of unsanctioned street art that surround them.

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“It ranges from something simple, like someone writing “hip hop” there, and – down by Peterborough Street there is a really old piece that has rusted into a metallic old cable box, that just said “Kurt Cobain lives”. Those types of things are really graffiti in a strict historical sense in that it’s word-based. But it’s got a real flair and flavour to it.” One thing he hates is people who insist that it’s “just dogs pissing on walls”. “People who write graffiti take years to practice what they write,” Woods says. “It’s not just approaching a wall with no idea what you’re going to do. Very little is entirely just advantageous of a whim. There’s the construction of technique, there’s the construction of an image, there’s the refinement of style. These things take time and intent.” He pauses. “I want to try and get a photo of the sticker on that sign.” A bit later Woods approaches a building at the corner of Manchester and Welles Street. “This was all sanctioned stuff,” Woods says, gesturing towards the building’s three coated sides. “The owner basically gave them liberty to do whatever they wanted.” (Background image) He gestures towards one piece, emblazoned with the tag Yikes. “You can see here the eyes have been made out of the glass, which is quite a cool reappropriation of space.”

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hat? People who write graffiti take years to practice what they write… it’s not just approaching a wall with no idea what you’re going to do… these things take time and intent

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We kind of assume that that type of expression is available only to the privileged, but it’s really not. It’s so easy to do. But we’re conditioned to see one as okay, and the other is a threat to our existence.

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{ Feature } Though the earthquakes mean there has been little effort to clean up the tags, Woods thinks there would be little success even if the Council made it their first priority. “A space like this is a collection of voices, a city is always going to have these things. You can combat them, and you can clean them away, and that’s also part of the discourse too. But if you start to take away the other voices they are still going to come back. Because they are someone’s voice. Regardless of the content they are saying, the action itself is going to remain part of a social need to be heard in some way.” Besides, advertising attacks our eyes every day. One company paid a lot of money to have an advertising company to design their logo, and then a lot of money to get it printed, and a lot of money to get it installed. All its takes is looking up at a tower in the CBD to learn that it all can be replicated by a pair of one man’s balls. (Image below) He points to another wall. (Image above) “This is one that popped up during the local elections. It references all the signs around the city, anyone running for local council or something – they’re everywhere and they have this visual presence. But is that really any different? That’s the thing, is – you think about political signs and advertising; they are all actually looking to communicate with the public in a way that manipulate us in some manner. It might be to get us to vote for them, or to get us to buy something. Whereas this doesn’t ask us to do anything like that.” “How is it different from public art? Well, it’s because of the fact that’s there’s an institutional control, and a privileged position. You start to get all those ideas in terms of public art, sanctioned public art, and attempts to engage with the public, whereas this is very much a personal expression in a public space, and they aren’t necessarily trying to force any ideas or anything on us necessarily, but it can engage us to think.” To Woods, the rise of the underground street art signifies a progression from the crumbled walls being merely an earthquake presence to the earthquakes now allowing us to reconsider spaces and our shared spaces. “And from that as well, how we are starting to see this sanctioned resonance as the city is recovering, it’s a question of not so much of brightening up the area, it’s maybe a contestation of space. It’s really great.” “It’s not in every case an action that’s looking to improve a physical area or something like that. It’s often a challenge to our perception of space and our social environment as well as the physical environment. Does that mean that it’s not valuable as a creative impulse? It’s an interesting question.”

“The idea that someone is willing to climb up that high – for no gain other than fun and fame,” Woods says, staring up at the tag. “We kind of assume that that type of expression is available only to the privileged, but it’s really not. It’s possible to do. But we’re conditioned to see one as okay, and the other is a threat to our existence. We often are so desensitized to advertising that we don’t even question what it’s doing to us.” “Advertising is trying to get you to part with your income, to give it to someone much more well off, and that isn’t seen as a threat. But someone writing their name on there, that’s not benefitting someone, is a threat to your livelihood and your lifestyle. It shows you as a whole what our culture values. We are told without realising that we are being told.” Has this PhD been healing, I ask him?

“Yeah,” Woods responds. “I think it has. I’ve just been able to wander around the city. A lot of the first year or two years has been just doing that – just being out or about. Each time you come in there’s a new part open, or there’s a new way you can navigate it. It definitely has had that effect. I know this has helped people come to terms with these spaces.” Yet he is hesitant to try and tell people where to find his favourites. “If some things are big and sanctioned, you know where it is, you know it’s going to be there,” he says, referring to the RISE! murals that can be tracked with maps at the museum or the Oi You! street art walking tour app. “Whereas these things, you can’t guarantee it will be there the next day – but something new might be in its place, or something slightly different.” And that’s the way he likes it. “Once you start to look out for these things you start to approach the urban environment around you in a different way. You find yourself looking in the strangest places. You don’t worry about where you’re going as much as what’s around you. You’re thinking down low, you’re thinking about places where people will pass. Something on these types of space is quite common,” he says, pressing his hand lightly over a sticker on a traffic light, “someone will be walking past and put out their hand and it’s done.” He points to a torn up poster on another. “You start to wonder what these remnants were and thinking what was underneath it.” “Calling my blog ‘What is that?’ It was a literal use of the phrase that I often would think in my mind as I would walk around, ‘Ooh, what is that?’ And then just be dragged off course.” He laughs. The idea was that the title would encourage you to do a double take on things you might dismiss. That’s always intrigued me. Just that willingness to look around. Once you develop that you start to notice how many tiny details are in life.” [IMG 2824 – Street art on a power cable box] “I think they also encourage you to look at more than just those examples,” he adds. “You actually start to think about how these types of spaces can be more than what you can call ‘street art’. You start to think about how you might intervene into a space yourself.”

Follow Reuben’s blog at whatisthatchch. co.nz Download the Oi YOU! app for a map of some of the great street art around the city centre.

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SHIT WORTH DOING

IN THE CBD

Annalee Jones

It turns out Lonely Planet wasn’t just partaking in some elaborate practical joke when they named us one of the top 10 must-see cities of 2013. Over the past year, scores of bars, eateries, galleries, markets, and just generally some really awesome ideas have established themselves as part of the new Christchurch. Although it’s far from finished, a new city is taking shape right under our noses. With that in mind, I think that it’s about time those of us too lazy to venture from the university’s bubble saw that there are more than a few good reasons to explore the CBD. So take this map, get yourself into town, and have a look at what makes living amongst the rubble worthwhile.

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Cafés C1 Espresso – 185 High St. See page 24 for description.

Coffee House – 290 Montreal St. A cute villa

fitted out to serve the most creative coffee cocktails in the city – try the Ziggy Stardust, or Kermit the Frog.

Black Betty – 165 Madras St. Black Betty

does tasty breakfasts til 2.30pm, roasts their own fair trade coffee beans on site, and uses free-range produce for their meals. They also have an excellent collection of spoons, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Fooood Pure Café Co. – 100 Bealey Ave. Equal parts

food truck and health nut paradise, Pure Café serves up whole foods that are tasty, genuinely nutritious, and cater to the dairy and gluten free among us.

Mrs Higgins Cookies – New Regent St. Take

advantage of your metabolism while you’re still young. The morsels of pure joy found at Mrs Higgins are deliciously addictive, and one should find no shame in consuming them right up until they’re on the cusp of diabetes.

Local Food Project – Corner of Kilmore

St and Durham St. A community pizza oven, built by CPIT students, and used by the Local Food Project on Sunday afternoons to concoct pizzas from locally sourced, fresh ingredients.

Tequila Mockingbird – 98 Victoria St.

An upmarket Latin American restaurant come classier version of Revival past 10pm on weekends. Ask nicely and the bar staff will make you something stiff, tasty, and tequila based.

Pepperoni – Madras St, Countdown

Complex. Italian in the city at it’s finest. Candlelit dinners, the ever-smiling Malcom, and of course, a delectable menu make Pepperoni the perfect start for an evening out on the town.

Samurai Bowl – 574 Colombo St. Nothing

flashy – just authentic, classic, Japanese meals well-suited to a student budget. Oishii desu ne.

Tokapi Turkish Restaurant – 64

Manchester St. Feeling hungry and a little bit fancy? Reasonably priced kebabs and the chance to get cultured with belly dancing and shisha await you at Tokapi.

Mum’s 24 – 62 Manchester St. Traditional

Japanese and Korean dishes with a twist. Super tasty and student friendly, and meals come prettily presented, for those of you who taste with your eyes.

Hipster-y Bars The Last Word – 31 New Regent St. See page 24 for description.

Astro Lounge – 23 Worcester Boulevard.

Out the back of award winning restaurant Cook ‘N’ With Gas, the Astro Lounge does sweet acoustic tunes and chill vibes. Comfy chairs and a great bar menu make it perfect for a sophisticated evening wine.

YMCA! Or, you could just visit. That’s pretty good too. The only place you can find a rockclimbing wall, badminton, squash, basketball, netball, and volleyball courts, as well as a gym, in the city.

Smash Palace – Corner Victoria St and

Bealey Ave. Best place for an outdoor evening with a refreshing house cider and bowl of wedges. Winter is a little chillier, but thanks to oil drum gas heaters and a couple of refurbished buses, this watering hole is great all year round.

The Monday Room – Corner Moorhouse

Ave and Madras St. As hipster as it gets. Ipads in bell jars playing black and white films – need I say more? But even if hipster isn’t your thing, it’s worth going for the cocktail menu. The Stolen Zombie – divine.

Vespa bar – 225 High St. Adding to the High St hype, Vespa, formerly of Poplar Lane, is back in action. Cosy, intimate, and adorned with rescued Vespa scooters from the old bar, the place is bound to draw cool cats from Christchurch over.

Shops Sunday Market at Restart – Cashel St.

Peruse the boutiques and market stalls on a Sunday afternoon for a taste of old Christchurch in a new setting. Old favourites like the caramel nut guy, Mullet Man, and Dimitris Souvalakis are all there, as well as plenty of new treasures.

Rekindle & Shop Eight – New Regent St.

These two enterprises have been sharing a spot on New Regent Street for a few months now. Shop Eight is an espresso and wine bar, proud to be local, and Rekindle is a small shop that transforms waste wood into new treasures.

Artsy Stuff ArtBox – Corner Madras and St Asaph St.

Not So Hipster-y Bars The Town Ball – 52 Manchester St. What to

do with a giant inflatable rugby ball post world cup glory? Turn it into a bar of course. The place is usually pretty packed after 11pm on Fridays and Saturdays. Cover charge gets you a free drink on entry.

The Club – 685 Colombo Street. Club in a BYOs

YMCA – 12 Hereford St. It’s fun to stay at the

tent – another Christchurch classic. Before you say ‘oh, that’s soooo 2011,’ you should probably know it’s not as bad as it sounds, especially if you’re out to chase tail and dance well into the wee hours of the next morn.

Revival – 94 Victoria St. Through the back

door of the more sophisticated Tequila Mockingbird you’ll find all the fun stuff that your more sophisticated friends are too cool for: DJs, fun Irish builders, and that legendary souvalaki caravan.

Mashina Lounge (R20) – 30 Victoria St,

Peterborough St Entrance. Come early for cougars and rich old white dudes, or venture in after 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays for club music and dancing with less chance of hip breakages.

A space created to replace those that artists lost; ArtBox aims to be a platform for creatives in the community to showcase their work. Check out their latest exhibition, ‘Burster Flipper Wobbler Dripper Spinner Stacker Shaker Maker.’

The Physics Room – 209 Tuam St.

On the second and third floor of the old Post Office, The Physics Room hosts exhibitions of contemporary art from both local and international artists.

The Drawing Room - Corner of St Asaph & Manchester St. Mecca for anyone who’s into making their own art. Try not to get sucked into the wormhole – days on end have been lost in this place.

Cool Shit Pallet Pavilion – Corner Durham and

Kilmore St. Originally a Gap Filler idea, crowd sourced funding has seen this space not only stay, but turn into a hub for music and food in the city.

Agropolis Urban Farm – 154 High St.

for description.

Working with Christchurch cafés and restaurants to create local compost to grow food in an urban setting, Agropolis is another great way people are bringing sustainability to the new Christchurch. Find them on Facebook to get amongst.

Antigua Boatsheds – 2 Cambridge Tce.

Dance-o-Mat – 129 Gloucester St.

Getting Active Watermark – Cambridge Tce. See page 24

If you’re in a whimsical and outdoorsy mood, hire out a canoe, bike, or paddleboat at one of Christchurch’s longest running establishments. For a little extra romance, hire a dude in Edwardian regalia to take you punting on the Avon.

Once again, a Gap Filler temporary project has been deemed just too good to go. Take your iPod, 2 bucks, and your dancing shoes, and re-enact scenes from Step Up 2.

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C1 Espresso

The Last Word

Watermark

There is no doubt that C1 Espresso has been a Christchurch icon for all things cool since its establishment in a run down High Street 18 years ago. Now, the legacy continues at its new location, in the old post office next to Alice’s, and owner Sam Crofskey sees this fresh start as an opportunity for this café to be something locals are proud of.

Last April, Jasper and T’Nealle of the Darkroom, opened The Last Word on New Regent Street. On a Sunday night when the tables were full and whiskey connoisseurs were sprawling out onto the pavement, I interrupted Jasper during a game of chess to see what makes this particular establishment so damn fine.

Who’s brainchild was this?

What made you want to open a whiskey bar?

Mine and my wife’s, we’ve been going for eighteen years. At the old location it was the largest café in New Zealand, we sat 250 people and were open from seven in the morning until ten at night.

When we opened the Darkroom, we wanted to have a bit more of a whiskey selection than most places. So we talked to Whiskey Galore and discovered this whole world that we’d never really been introduced to before. Once we saw how much potential there was in whiskey we thought that we should open a bar that specialised in it.

It will come as no surprise that “a green city” was the most commonly recurring theme across the hundred thousand or so submissions that came in during the city’s, ‘Share an Idea’ campaign in 2011. As a result, loads of pretty green boxes showed up on the CCDU Blue Print, coloured with lashings of green-wash and some feel-good eco clichés. Some of those boxes aren’t green anymore, they’re residential zones. But whatever; one of the big green bits that stuck was Te Papa Ōtākaro, the Avon River Precinct.

And you’ve always had this out of the box vibe about you? Yeah, we were a real hub for creatives – everyone knew that we were always open so they knew they could bump into their friends when they were there alone. I hate the word community, but it was that kind of place.

So the pneumatic tubes are pretty cool. How did they come about? That’s our latest thing. We’ve always got a thing. We did this one basically just because we could. The company still exists – they’ve been around for a hundred years. They weren’t really into doing it, they usually put them in hospitals and banks, but in the end we convinced them to take up the challenge.

What made you guys want to come back to this post office on High Street? It was equal measures madness, bravery and foresight – we wanted to be here because we felt we knew the whole place. When we started there was nothing on this street – just empty shops, brothels, drug dealers up in the shitty warehouses. The place was a shit sty. Parking was great. But it evolved over time. So we felt like fuck it, we were first in the street last time, we’ll be first in again.

So you guys want to be part of bringing back some life into the city? Yeah, well I mean Christchurch was a bit shit before the earthquakes, so we wanted our business to come back and not be a bit shit like everything else was. We want people to come into C1 and not be embarrassed to live in Christchurch ‘cause there’s something fucking awesome here. I mean these tables are made out of fucking red zone houses, the inside is made out of the old building, we’ve got solar panels heating water, we’ve got a vineyard on the roof and beehives. C1’s doing a lot of awesome shit. We’re just trying to show that people can put in a bit of an effort and be proud to be from Christchurch.

What’s so special about whiskey though? Whiskey’s quite unique in a lot of respects – it’s been produced for centuries. You can find things that are real artefacts. In terms of Scotch whisky it’s particularly unique in the sense that it has legal protection in Scotland, which means the methods by which it’s made are really strongly regulated. So it’s this industry with an international reputation as quite a premium product, which is backed up by legal protection, and then also has a really wide variety of product available from a lot of distilleries that have really long histories.

Do you have a favourite whiskey? It changes a lot over time. I’ve actually tried every whiskey in the bar, because I try them as we get them. There are a few highlights – Glendronic 12 is really great because it’s inexpensive but it’s also really, really good.

What’s the ideal way to have your whiskey? Well unless otherwise specified we normally serve whiskey in a nosing glass, neat, and then on the side we have a small jug of water with a pippette, which can be good if you find that the alcohol taste is the strongest. When you put a few drops of water in, it can open up different flavours. We don’t really serve it on the rocks unless someone asks – you can lose some of the flavours when it gets cold.

What’s on the “not whiskey” menu? Beer, wine, we’ve got quite a few gins as well. All the usual things that bars have – rum, tequila, cocktails. We’re named after a cocktail. It’s a prohibition era cocktail with gin, chartreuse, maraschino liqueur and lime juice.

Is it good? Well, we liked it enough to name the bar after it so yeah, it’s pretty good.

Do you get many students here? I know that there are quite a few whiskey fans in the geology department at UC – they’ve got like an organised geology students drinking whiskey thing going on.

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The precint stretches from the hospital, all the way along the winding path of the river to Fitzgerald Avenue. The first section, Watermark, was completed towards the end of 2013 and provides a glimpse of how other river precinct elements could look. Apparently, the design for the rest of Te Papa Ōtākaro will be further developed with community feedback. Running along the true left of the river between the Antigua Boat Sheds and Montreal Street, they’ve narrowed the river a bit, removed the old weir, and dropped in some mudflats in an attempt to return the river to a naturally contoured shape. There’s a boardwalk, some fancy seating and a shared cycle/pedestrian pathway. It looks pretty good and has attracted a lot of local attention. Why is there so much development going into this precinct? The CCDU cites amenity enhancement and ecological restoration are the main drivers. They’re claiming that it will bring cultural, environmental and economic benefits to the area. The river runs adjacent to the intended entertainment area, “The Terrace”, comprises the North Frame, runs through Victoria Square, and has key cultural significance to Ngāi Tahu. The Avon River is a key feature of Christchurch and, pre-quakes, was, for a lot of people, a daily top-up of nature. But the river isn’t all that natural; over the 150 or so years it has been modified significantly to represent something of an idyllic English stream. But English cultural relics aren’t in vogue anymore; green stuff is, so something a bit closer to a functioning eco system came out on top. It is hoped that Watermark isn’t just indicative of what is to come for Te Papa Ōtākaro, but the general flavour of other projects to come as the new Christchurch continues to unfold.

Pictures opposite (clockwise from top left) The Gap Filler Dance-O-Mat; a disco ball suspended above the D-Floor; street art found near the new Press building; the boardwalk running alongside the Avon as part of the Watermark project; an example of the handcrafted gems to be found at Rekindle; New Regent Street; Agropolis urban farm; the charmingly rustic staircase leading up to The Physics Room; C1 Espresso; a larger than life face adorns the carpark near The Press building.

BARS BEYOND THE CBD Emma Clarke

Tired of The Craic’s karaoke? Fed up with the familiar old Fox? Feel like your girls nights out need a bit of a make over? Or are those pick up lines finally wearing thin on your usual crowd? Check out these two bars here and another two at Canta online that not only take you beyond the student hub that is Riccarton, but can also suss some sweet student drinks specials for when you need it most. These sound good to you? All you need is a bus to sober D you from bar to bar? Then UC Psyc have got you sussed! Grab a ticket for the first of several unforgettable bus trips brought to you by UC Psyc on Thursday 13th March. Get your St Paddy’s celebrations off to an epic start! (let’s face it – the weekend pretty much starts after Monday and Tuesday are out of the way).

FINNEGANS IRISH BAR AND CAFÉ, PREBBLETON

TEMP’S BAR, HORNBY

This Irish gem is well worth visiting, and what’s your excuse when the bus goes from Uni and right past the door?! Finnegans is just like a traditional Irish bar with its low ceilinged interior and green-themed flags, and has been named the best Irish Bar in Christchurch.

Temp’s unlikely backstreet location only adds to the chilled atmosphere of the place. Nestled near Dominos, McD’s and KFC, this bar is the perfect location for some casual afternoon bevvies and banter, but could happily accommodate a rowdier night if you so desired…

Popular drinks

The best pint of Guinness in Christchurch is only $9.50, and to complete the full Irish experience, Magners Cider from the green country itself is expected to be available on tap by March. Also, look out for the Beer of the Month; at $10/pint it’s a steal!

Just for students 2 for $12 RTDs (Woody/Cruiser), and regular blackboard specials

The sounds The house DJ happily takes requests. Friday is taken over by free pool and karaoke, and Saturday’s treat is a live band or DJ

Draw cards Finnegans is right next door to Thirsty Liquor – the best place to suss your kegs with a decent student discount.

$11 jugs of Speights, Mac’s and CD satisfy most needs. The free iced water is a winner for some too.

Just for students 3 Woody’s for $17 and $10 Shakers that have been rumoured to contain 6-7 shots!

The sounds A Dukebox with 20,000 songs is bound to satisfy even the Beliebers and the Metallica maddogs among us.

Draw cards Tuesday night Jam Nights are a hit, with any keen musos being rewarded with free piss for the night (provided your musical “talents” doesn’t send the other punters running).

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First pack free only. Pack must renew each month. Person to person texts only. Standard NZ use only. Data charges may apply. Offer available until March 31st 2014. Must present a valid 2014 tertiary student ID to redeem offer. Telecom terms, conditions and charges apply.

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NOTICES Class Reps Big ups to all those students who have signed up with the UCSA to be Class Reps for their course/year level! Training sessions will be run online for all you cool cats to make sure you know how to be the best Class Rep you can. These sessions are being run at the following times: - Tuesday March 11th at 11am - Thursday 13th March at 2pm - Wednesday 19th March at 11am

GETTING TO KNOW

CLAP CLAP RIOT Annalee Jones

Originally Christchurch lads, Clap Clap Riot headed for Auckland in 2007. Up there they’ve managed to get a few releases under their belt, the latest of which is the semi-psychedellic, 60s-esque Nobody/ Everybody. Produced by Kody Nielson and recorded in just four days, the boys have put out a highly addictive and sweetly sexy sophomore release. To get you more acquainted with the boys before they pay us a visit in March, Annalee caught up with the band’s guitarist, Dave, to tell us a few things you didn’t know about Clap Clap Riot: 1. They had Clap Clap Riot socks custom made so Stephen could give them to his family for Christmas, along with a preorder of their new album. Dave wears them all the time. “They’re so good, they’re cotton, black and they’ve got Clap Clap Riot along the top rim, and then sort of a little skull design on the bottom of the sock. They’re super cosy as well. You only get some small perks about being in a band, and getting to wear your own socks is one of them. 2. They’ve moshed to Arcade Fire with the Finn Brothers at Big Day Out. “I don’t think we were supposed to be there to be perfectly honest – we were standing next to Ella who’s Lorde, Tom and Alicia from Naked and Famous, and then Neil and Tim Finn were behind us and they were the only people watching. It was one of those things where it was like we need to not move because if we do we’ll probably get kicked out.” 3. They’re the kind of dudes who stick to their guns when it comes to their music, even if it means less airtime on The Edge. “If you’re an in between-y band like we are, you’re kind of forced into this position as to whether you push it one way or the other way to help you to get more success. We kinda figured at the end of the day we would rather put something out that we were happy with and have no one listen to it than we would fit in some box.” 4. Despite only having four days to lay down the tracks, the boys say Nobody/Everybody is the most enjoyable record they’ve done to date. “Working with Kody was really good because there was a lot of freedom – we felt we could really try anything. 12 songs in four days is a pretty good effort and I think it went so well largely because we felt so relaxed about doing it.” 5. The only words they know the meaning of in the Japanese version of their song Yoko Ono, are the words ‘Yoko Ono.’ “One of our friends translated it for us – but we don’t understand it at all, apart from the Yoko Ono part. We did it live a couple of times, but it was sort of like one of those what the fuck situations where the crowd didn’t really know what was going on when we started singing Japanese for three minutes.”

Clap Clap Riot – Dux Live on March 14. Tickets are $15 at UnderTheRadar.

To attend the training you simply need to visit the online Forum Room by logging in with your UC username and password http:// connect.canterbury.ac.nz/r8430e4c6o5/. It will only run for about 20 minutes and then you can get back to your readings which you are totally keeping up with…. Again, cheers for signing up to be a class rep. It’s a great help in keeping our finger on the pulse and catching problems early! Any questions flick an email to harriette. cambridge@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz

Get your free or subsidised flu vaccine! If you’re wanting to avoid sniffles and fevers this year, the UC Health Centre is providing free flu vaccines for the following students: - All domestic students aged 17 years and under regardless of where they are enrolled for their medical care - All enrolled, funded patients 18 years + - All patients with a chronic condition Don’t meet the criteria above? No worries – the UCSA and UC Health Centre work together to provide a $5 subsidised flu vaccines for international students and casual patients. Starting Monday, 17th March, stop by the UCSA offices between 8:30am-5pm weekdays to claim your voucher. Please bring along your Canty Card to show Fiona. To book your appointment, call the UC Health Centre at 364 2402. Note: there are a limited number of vaccinations and vouchers so first come first served.

Orienteering with GeogSoc Want to explore a bit of the city? Come attend GeogSoc’s orienteering fun series. Three urban courses over three Thursday Evenings, March 20 through to April 3. The events will kick off at 5:30pm and you will have a time limit of 1 hour to get to as many check points as possible. This is definitely a series for fun and not a serious orienteering event, but some of the basic principles will still apply; you will still be given a dodgy looking map, you will still have to race around control points, and it is still a competition – well, kind of. The First event will start from Hagley Park by the Botanical Gardens and will have you racing around a variety of great things popping up over the central city. Entry is simply a $2 coin for each team or individual; at the end of the series a prize will be awarded to the winners. For more details: find us on Facebook: GeogSoc1 or sign up at geogsoc.com

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RED CARD { Reviews }

Annalee Jones

Despite appearances, there’s a lot more to flatting than your quintessential moulding walls and cardboard carbs. And to most, the prospect of spending your early adult years in a dingy little shithole isn’t really anyone’s idea of something that will create fond memories. However, once you look past the fungus and scurvy, there really is something special about a student flat. It’s that something that first time playwright but long time writer, Sebastian Boyle, has been attempting to show the world in Dramasoc’s latest production, Red Card. Former editor of this fine magazine you have in your hands, contributor for The Civilian, and no stranger to showbiz after getting amongst Musoc and Dramasoc productions last year, it was only a matter of time until he combined equal parts students, sarcasm, and stage to create something beautiful. Well, ‘beautiful’ may a touch too profound a word for a play essentially about students

Instead of a batch of homebrew fuelling a memorable bon voyage for Kat, the evening takes a turn for the dramatic, complicated, and generally weird – just like any flat party worth going to. 28

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getting shitfaced and talking about their first world problems – ‘accurate’ is probably a more appropriate adjective. The story follows 22-year-old Kat through her last night in New Zealand before heading off to do a Masters in Sweden. Seeing her departure as an excuse for one last hurrah, her flatmates decide to pull a red card in an attempt to send her off with a bang. But instead of a batch of homebrew fuelling a memorable bon voyage for Kat, the evening takes a turn for the dramatic, complicated, and generally weird – just like any flat party worth going to. Although it’s a little slow to start, and the intermittent fourth wall is slightly disconcerting, once the par-tay gets pumping you get a real fly on the wall feeling from the cheap seats. From then on, Boyle’s script really does justice to tales of student woes – awkward flat romances, overbearing parents, mysterious unopened cans of alleged food hiding in the back of the pantry, and of course, the ever-present quarter life crisis. The way this slice of life moves from one problem to another, leaving no classic student worry unaccounted for, is truly impressive. Also impressive is the directing. The entire play is done against the backdrop of your typical student flat living/dining area, complete with 80s-esque couches, a cardboard box coffee

table, and enough spirits to kill a small horse. In this single room, and down the steps out into the garden, the transitions between scenes are seamless, especially considering how many actors are on stage at any one time. Although we stop hearing what revellers are talking about in one place, you can continue to watch their conversation in the background as the dialogue moves to another couch or the kitchen bench. It’s this constant buzz that gives authenticity to the story. Although there were a few hiccups on opening night– the occasional one-liner that doesn’t quite get the reaction it was hoping for, a little bit of an awkward newbie vibe from Patrick Pieters who plays Kat’s love interest, Simon. Overall, the students acting as students really pulled it off. Noteworthy performers include Katrina Clark, who carries the drama of the story well right throughout the show, and also Rosie Maguire and Dan Richardson, who get the mis-matched 20-something couple down to a scarily accurate portrayal. James Van Dyk, Paul Johnson, and Poppy Stowell also steal their own little pieces of the show, bringing as much depth and humour as they can to slightly smaller roles. All in all, I’m calling it a win for Red Card. It’s good to see a different side of the raucous and menacing uni student, and great to see it done so well.

WHAT’S ON Salvete – The Official UC Arts Welcome

OpSoc: Hawaiian Shirt and Bucket Hat BBQ

Wednesday 12 March 5.30pm-7pm University Staff Club, 87 Ilam Road

Friday 14 March 3pm-6pm Check emails for location

An opening event for all our members and anyone else who missed us on clubs day. Come along for a free BBQ and getting to know other people in your degree. There will be a speaker from the College of Arts and a small bar tab to help you afford them fancy dranks. See you there!!

MUSOC

PRESENTS

Contact Hannah Duder for more info president.ucvolley@gmail.com

Max Rashbrooke hosted Q&A session Monday March 17 1pm-2.30pm Undercroft FREE

Thinking Forward Tuesday 18 March 7pm Bentley’s FREE In this speaking event we’ll hear from some Christchurch business people, engineers and young people who are trying to turn this city into a sustainable place where it’s easy for everyone to have lifestyles that don’t hurt our climate!

UC Volleyball Club Women’s Trials 2014 Wednesday 12 March 6.30pm Christchurch Girls’ High School Gymnasium

Inequality: A New Zealand Crisis

MARCH 15 - 29

TICKETS $15 / $18

JACK MANN AUDITORIUM

MUSOC .ORG.NZ

Fulbright Awards/Scholarships Travel and Specialist Awards

PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY

International lecture series – ‘Healing on the Spiritual Path’ Bruno Groening Circle of Friends Thursday 13 March 7pm Canterbury Horticultural Society, PC Browne Room 57 Riccarton Ave FREE

MUSOC Presents: The Producers

www.fulbright.org.nz/awards Applications close 1 April, 5pm

Saturday March 15 – Saturday March 29 7.30pm Jack Mann Auditorium Tickets $15 with Student ID, $18 without at Dash Tickets

UC Psyc: Luck of the Irish Bus Trip Thursday 13 March 7pm Meet outside the Foundry $5 Members, $10 Non-Members Tickets on Dash

UCom & UCSA presents

Six60 Saturday March 15 8pm Bedford Marquee 198 Hereford St Tickets $55

WEDNESDAY MARCH 26 8PM / THE FOUNDRY / R18 UC STUDENTS $35 + BF GENERAL PUBLIC $45 + BF TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM

www.ucsa.org.nz

UCom + UCSA present A$AP Ferg Clap Clap Riot Friday 14 March 8pm Dux Live Tickets $15 at undertheradar.co.nz

Suburbs Uni Netball U19 & 2nd Grade Trials Sunday 16 March 10.00am Tuesday 18 March 6.15pm Thursday 20 March 6.15pm (if needed) Hagley Park Netball Courts

Wednesday 26 March 8pm start The Foundry $35 UC students, $45 public Tickets from ucsa.org.nz

Contact Bridget at bridget.southeyj@ gmail.com, or on 02102850566

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{ Haberdashery }

WHO AM I?

I can be found lurking in the deepest darkest corners of the Undercroft. I do a shite Kiwi accent. I take after me dear ol’ da in the looks department. WHO AM I? If you think you know, email my name to evan.moran@ ucsa. canterbury.ac.nz First to email through gets a pint on the house at The Shilling Club. Please Note: ‘A member The Lollipop Guild’ will not be accepted as a correct answer.

SUDOKU

FINISH THE DOODLE

Puzzle 1 (Hard, difficulty rating 0.63)

9 5

8 8

3 3

4 2

7 5

4 5 9

8 2

2 7

9 6

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Wed Mar 5 22:58:12 2014 GMT. Enjoy!

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