Canta, Issue 6, 2014 by UCSA

{Issue 6 April 2 2014}

{ Contents }

THINGS WE LEARNED THIS ISSUE

Plenty of letters this week. I think this is a good thing… will someone please send in something positive! For the love of all letters ever sent, make it happy next week

Should you be able to profit from your time as a convicted criminal? The Point Counterpoint this week discusses Schapelle Corby

Have a look at a few ways to keep study a successful aspect of life and not a frenetic stress session before an examination

This issue of Canta is largely based around the idea of crime. Crime is a very broad topic and we, as humans have an obsession with it. Popular television shows, books and movies all get in on the act of exploring the different components of crime. It is enjoyable to watch characters go outside the realms of objective human behaviour. It is true, for the most part, that an average citizen will follow and obey the laws of their country. In New Zealand one law that springs to mind, which people do have a habit of ignoring, is the law on controlled substances, specifically the class C drug marijuana. An argument that gets thrown around is that the state has made the people who partake criminals, although they are committing no wrong to society and therefore an unfair labelling and punishment occurs.

Thinking of going skiing this season? Why not go to Japan? Treat yourself and check this guide out

We’ve profiled a flat, read it. It could make you feel better about your own life or worse, depends on what kind of person you are

Inequality, we have another article on it because this topic is so hot right now

I have had a few encounters with the world of crime. At high school I had the good fortune of having part-time job at the local court house. It was a very interesting and good job in my respects. At times, however, it would become depressing because you are spending your days dealing with people that have done stupid or harmful things, and even though they are a small percentage of the community, it takes up a lot of time and effort. You begin to attribute a larger percentage of criminal acts to the entire community. This happens to a lot of people. It is why some are convinced that the world is getting worse. It isn’t. You have just seen more of it and now it looks a shade shitter. My most recent encounter with the police was kind of intense. It was exam time last year and I was leaving university at around 2am when a patrol car turned its lights on behind me and I hear on their loudspeaker for me to stop my motorbike. I had never been pulled over before. I thought it would be alright to park off to the side and take my helmet off. I slowed down and the voice

Domestic violence is an ugly reality in our community. Gain a better understanding of this not so open topic from an interview with Annabel Taylor

We have an exclusive interview with Yoda, on his troubled youth. Just because its fictional doesn’t mean it isn’t real...

A review of White Rabbit Red Rabbit, a theatre piece that tests the audience as well as the actor on stage

told me to step away from the bike. I stalled it and my legs didn’t work as I noticed that a police officer was approaching from the side with a mental looking dog on a leash. This made it difficult to use the kickstand and walk away. Another officer approached from behind and informed me that he was armed. I was cuffed and my possessions were searched. It was explained to me that I matched the description of an armed robber in the area; I was still in handcuffs for this explanation. People were out of their homes at this point and staring at me. It was unpleasant. Crime is a very large subject. One thing it does well is provide decent stories. In the contents of this magazine are articles, opinions and ideas all relating to the fascinating topic of crime. Enjoy your reading, oh and don’t wear dark coloured jackets past midnight because you tend to look suspicious.

Callum Ching Deputy Editor

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE IS BACK! Sarah Platt

That’s right! The title of my column this week isn’t designed to trick you into reading on under the false pretence of the exciting news that University Challenge is back, no, no, no. I can promise you, I’m no Nigerian business man who lures you into reading his email because the subject line reads ‘CONGRAULATIONS YOU’VE JUST WON £8,500,000.00’. Every word of my aptly chosen title is true – University Challenge is in fact BACK! If you fall into one of the following categories it is likely you already knew this. a) You’re an avid reader of Canta, who every Wednesday afternoon without fail, waits patiently by the Canta stand ready to snap up that week’s edition. Ah yes, fresh off the print and smelling like ..well..printer ink. Anyway. Back to you being a Canta enthusiast. Like always you methodically read cover to cover and so, naturally you read the article on University Challenge being BACK!

Wrap your noggin around these practise questions and see if you’ve got what it takes: 1) What is the next number in this sequence 1, 2, 6, 24, 120? 2) Which district within New York can you visit both Greenwich Village and the UN headquarters?

b) Last Wednesday when you were looking for somewhere to sit in the Undercroft so you could chow down some $2 rice from Hot Wok, you happened to pick a table that had a pre-read, pre-loved Canta lying on it. Though slightly sticky, probably from its previous owner having spilt sweet & sour sauce on it, you flicked through it to see if there was anything interesting for you to read while you passed the time. As luck would have it, something on the back page caught your eye – an article entitled ‘University Challenge is Back’ you read said column and learnt that University Challenge was Back.

3) Who said in Paris, “I am dying beyond my means”?

c) You’ve been trolling through your Facebook newsfeed at some point over the past two weeks and came across a post from the UCSA Facebook page with a ‘philosoraptor meme’ attached that read, ‘if a quiz makes you quizzical, what does a test make you?’

6) He was stabbed by a prostitute, supposedly poisoned, shot four times, and clubbed to unconsciousness, but this Russian mystic who purportedly assisted the fall of the Romanov dynasty was eventually killed by drowning.

University Challenge was a quiz show that started in 1976, where teams from Universities around New Zealand competed in a fierce battle of knowledge. If you’re wondering why you’d never heard it, the show came to its demise in 1989 and seeing as that was three years before I was born, I don’t feel so bad about the fact I’d never heard of it, so you shouldn’t either. Here’s where you come in. The competition is open to both undergraduate and postgraduate students and will take place in the first week of July with flights, accommodation and meals all being provided. So if you want to be part of what could possibly be the best thing on television since CSI Miami or The GC and you answer yes to any of the following questions, you should come along to KH07 on Thursday 10th April at 5pm, where a preliminary selection quiz will take place: a) Is it you who carries your team to victory every time there’s a quiz night on? b) Do you want to be on TV c) Are you able to answer some of life’s toughest questions like - Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? - Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon? - What’s the difference between flammable and inflammable? Just to sum up, my column this week is about University Challenge being BACK! If you didn’t pick that up, you should probably take a good hard look at your comprehension skills as I mentioned the fact that University Challenge was back a total of eight times! Have a quizzical week and if you have any questions about University Challenge feel free to email Rachael Gresson (one of your UCSA General Exec) at postgraduate@ucsa. org.nz or meeeeee at president@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz

ASK THE PRESIDENT Tired of complaining to your Facebook newsfeed about your locker-less existence, or the lack of microwaves in the engineering building? Well, you can stop now. Your 400 friends don’t give a shit about your uni problems. But luckily for you, Sarah does. Send in your UC related questions, criticisms, and curiosities to president@ucsa.ac.nz and Sarah will get back to you in the next edition of Canta.

5) ‘Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity’ is the motto of which organisation?

Answers below. OI, NO CHEATING! 1) 720 2) Manhattan Island 3) Oscar Wilde 4) Peter Fraser 5) FBI 6) Rasputin

If you failed to fall into one of these categories and you’re still confused as to what University Challenge actually is, don’t fret all will be revealed below.

4) Who was the New Zealand Prime Minister during World War II?

CONTRIBUTORS Ollie Hunt

Megan Dickie

Jarrod Gilbert

Andrew Flanagan

Age, 19. BE (Hons) Mech ‘16

Age, 22. LLB/BA ‘14

Age, 39. PhD in 2010

Ollie went for a snowboarding trip to Japan and took the time to document his travels.

Megan wrote for the section Point Counterpoint and argued against the ability for a person to profit off their supposed crimes.

Jarrod wrote the article, Why I Respect The Murderer. If you like that check out his blog, www. jarrodgilbert.com

Age, 36. BA in Education & English ‘15

What is your favourite crime drama? The Wire

How would you punish a fashion crime? Giving the offender Viagra and sending them to a pump class (assuming they are male)

Who is your favourite super-villain? Robbie Morrison - LAWSOC Junior officer

Have you had an interesting encounter with law enforcement? After a trip to the bar last year I fell off a bike, helmetless, in front of police. Luckily exclaiming that I had an instant cast and pointing to my already broken wrist sent them on their way with a laugh.

What’s your beer of choice? Tui

What is your favourite crime drama? Criminal Minds, although when I watch too many I get convinced my flatmates are going to kill me!

How would you punish a fashion crime?

What is your favourite crime drama? The Wire or Question Time on Parliamentary TV: in an election year the bollocks politicians espouse is absolutely criminal.

How would you punish a fashion crime?

Don’t they punish themselves by committing the crime in the first place?

I’m in no position to cast judgement on fashion. Usually I look like I’ve robbed the men’s section in K Mart in a hurry.

Who is your favourite super-villain?

Not sure if she counts, but Cersei Lannister definitely kick-ass

I always felt a bit bad for the Riddler. Of all of the cool powers the good guys have, here’s this poor bugger with the skill to riddle. Hardly a terrifying proposition, not an ideal tool for world domination and only occasionally useful in the odd pub quiz.

Have you had an interesting encounter with law enforcement? Nope, I’m a good girl!

What’s your beer of choice? I’m a fan of a Corona with a slice of lemon in the top

Contributors Oscar Barkle, George Carvell, Megan Dickie, Andrew Flanagan, Taidhg Fraser, Jarrod Gilbert, Ollie Hunt, Thomas Lloyd, Hayley Mitchell, Sylvia Nissen, Tom O’Brien

Send us your stories, photographs, epiphanies canta@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz

Have you had an interesting encounter with law enforcement? I spend a great deal of my time researching criminals so I’ve had a few curious encounters with the police, but one of the better ones came when I was an undergrad student and I inadvertently helped a guy steal a lawnmower (it’s a long story).

Andrew wrote the piece Are You Smarter Than A Nine Year Old

What is your favourite crime drama? J.A.G.

How would you punish a fashion crime? Have a Hall of Shame built, so future generations can see how stupid they looked.

Who is your favourite super-villain? Poison Ivy from the Batman comics, she’s so misunderstood. She’s not evil, she’s just likes her plants. Harley Quinn is a very close second, she’s just so adorable.

Have you had an interesting encounter with law enforcement? When returning from Rarotonga the border security pulled me aside stating that it was suspicious I had been on holiday and had next to no luggage upon returning. Silly thing is, some of my luggage was lost on the way over and arrived in Raro a week after I got back home.

What’s your beer of choice? Teddy Bears, everyone loves teddy bears. In fact did you know that Teddy Bears were named after Teddy Roosevelt the US President. True Story!

What’s your beer of choice? Editor At Large Hannah Herchenbach Deputy Editors Callum Ching and Annalee Jones Designer Emily McCormick Webmaster Hayato Clearwater

I exist almost solely on Heineken, I’d drink it for breakfast if society wouldn’t frown upon me. { Canta 2014 }

{ Letters to the Editor }

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR OVERACHIEVERS BITE BACK Dear ‘Annoyed Ensoc Member’ and ‘One Pissed off Person (RE:Young Nats)’, Go fuck yourselves. Clubs are a great thing on campus, and you both clearly have no idea how much work goes into them. Every event takes hours of dealing with bureaucracy, organising speakers (features or what have you), sorting logistics, and advertising. The executives do this VOLUNTARILY. Thus they owe you nothing! This is on top of their full course loads #gettingbettergradesthanyoubitches. This can be contrasted with your contribution to the student community, which has thus far been a letter to Canta. Congratulations, on your voluntary roles as ignorant, egocentric, spoilt brats. I’m guessing your letters were possibly written from that smelly-dark-hole you live in, at 2 in the morning, by the light of your computer screen. Singling out exec members (Julia is an absolute babe btw) is bullying worse than whatever deprivation of attention you experienced. And crying over a singlet ... no wonder your ex left you, god they really had a tough time didn’t they?! I bet you both also have an unhealthy reliance on your mothers. From the President of a club on campus which is neither ENSOC nor the Young Nats

{ Canta 2014 }

PRUDE Dear Canta I seem to be in a bitchie mood over the last couple of weeks but the cover for last week’s issue was gross and inappropriate. I had no Joy reading that disgusting masturbating article either. Bring the class back to UC, gents. Freddy Freespeech

{ Letters to the Editor }

OH THE IRONY Dear Editor As a fresher I guess I’m pretty new to this whole university magazine thing. But since finding out about it I’ve wanted to write something for it. I don’t get why last weeks edition of Canta’s “letter to the editor” section seemed to put across such negative vibes? We’re not here to rant about all the bad things that happen. We suppose to be here to talk about the good stuff. The stuff that keeps us going, even if we hate everything else happening in our lives right now. I found personally some things could be kept in the writer’s head. But writers ranting on about their troubles, sure go write it down but why post it for the whole uni to see? Or is it that the objective here? If this case how come this is “letters to the editor” shouldn’t it be “ranting page about things that most of us don’t even want to read about??” No hate to the magazine, I love the stories, articles, banter and insight into uni life and admittedly censoring things does make it boring. But someone complaining, Is that really for everyone to see? Confused first year

THE BATTLE RAGES ON

GIVING THE CANCER STICKS A LICKING To the smokers on UC. Most of you should know that this is a smokefree campus. It’s written on direction boards around the campus and you don’t see other students smoking around the uni just in general. So especially to the group (a particular group actually but I won’t go much into details) of smokers around Kirkwood these days... Why? Just why? Can you not read? Because if you can’t even comprehend a simple sign, you shouldn’t be at uni. Go back to kindy and learn how to read. Or is it because you’re just lazy? In that case... LEARN TO BE CONSIDERATE. There are some people who can’t stand the smell of smoke or are asthmatic. Smoking on campus around those people are like them coughing on you. Straight to your face. Unless you have some fetish about people coughing on your face (not judging at all...), move yo lazy ass off campus. To all the other lovely smokers who already smoke off campus... You’re a GC. You deserve a standing ovation for having common sense. From a smoker hater

Firstly, thank you for your counter opinion to my own “The Only Thing Trickling Down is Shit,” (Feb 26 2014). I’m sure New Zealand’s “poor people,” will sleep much better knowing that their plight has resonated with you, and that they have your “pity.” Whilst you’re clearly in the business of making assumptions about others, allow me to make some of my own. Would I be right to assume that you’re from an upper class family and that you have probably never worked a day in your life? And to taper things off were you born with a silver spoon lodged firmly up one or both orifices? If you only take one thing away from this letter let it be that I too have signed my name and major at the bottom of this address eluding to the fact that I, like yourself, am full of my own inflated sense of self importance. However, unlike you, I am somewhat uncomfortable looking down my nose at those less fortunate that myself. I do hope economics continues to treat you well. Krystal Paix Geologist

I believe that’s what one calls a ‘BOOM’ Jerry

Right you are Fred

TO THE EDGE OF THE EARTH Dear Canta, People at this university seem to have as much common sense as Colin Craig, who has one major policy that involves sending an exploration group to find the edge of the earth. I have watched for the last few weeks in class how people fill up lecture theatres (and I am sure this is not the only class where muppets do this) what drives me nuts is when dipshits sit on the edge of the row and leave the middle section empty, then when you ask them to shuffle down they proceed to get up and let you climb over all their shit into the middle, and then they get all shitty at you for asking them to move. Do me a favour people and fill up the middle sections first, failing that, nominate yourself to go with Colin Craig to the edge of the earth hopefully you will find it and fall off in the process then I won’t have to deal with this stupid shit. Sort it out people!!! P.S - Someone sort out the A block toilets they smell worse than the Hilton on Hinau does the day after hosting the UC clubs keg race.

{ Point }

WHO SAID CRIM Tom O’Brien

Let’s be honest, given the Corby family’s history with drugs, it seems pretty likely that Schapelle wasn’t the victim of a random drug-planting conspiracy. But whether her pleas of innocence are true or not, our justice system benefits by empowering criminals to talk about their stories. I understand the reluctance to embrace criminals profiting from their crimes. After all, it does create a fairly perverse system where you can be convicted and still receive an overall benefit from your actions. If anything, that encourages people to become criminals to capitalise on the publicity. But right from the outset, it’s worth noting that in cases like Schapelle Corby’s, guilt is far from a certainty. As a victim of a foreign justice system, where Western ideas of access to evidence aren’t always upheld, there’s some argument the prosecution’s case against Corby would have collapsed in an Australian court (or a New Zealand one). Publicity allows people stripped of their right to a fair trial, to communicate their side of the story. Particularly where the opaque acts of other states make understanding the final judgement difficult, it’s legitimate for the public to take a wider view of the facts from all parties involved. Even domestically, the reasoning of judges is often inaccessible to the majority of the population. Involving the media (whether before or after the fact) is often the only way they can engage. Even then, few serious criminals actually profit from their crimes directly. Even Women’s Weekly seemed reluctant to offer exclusives to Clayton Weatherston. Usually, only sympathetic, ambiguous figures ever get to sell their stories. What’s more, the most egregious cases of people exploiting wealth, despite being criminals, occur regardless of whether we let them sell their stories or not. The host of celebrities, sports stars and pop culture icons who continue to rake in publicity despite DUIs, sexual assaults and bar fights are, if anything, the real threat. However, the most important reason to empower criminals to tell their stories is that society needs to understand people who commit crimes. Fundamentally, criminality reflects dissatisfaction with our norms and values. After all, it’s rare for people who agree entirely with the law and engage positively with it, to undertake illegal acts. Instead, it’s people who are disenfranchised or don’t view themselves as part of our moral community.

{ Canta 2014 }

In the vast majority of cases, the actions of criminals are (to some extent) dictated by the way society has engaged with them. The reason that people living in poverty, or people from ethnic minorities, tend to commit crimes at greater rates isn’t because of an inherent desire to cause chaos. Instead, it’s because the values that we impose on them, clash with the values that they’re given by their families and peers. Reconciliation of that conflict is only possible if we have an understanding of what causes people to commit crimes. Furthermore, positive aspects of the justice system, such as rehabilitation, become more palpable once we’re able to identify with and understand offenders. Without context to a person’s criminality, people are inclined to view them as foreign, as people who don’t share any of their values or flaws. Once we understand that these people are often negatively affected by their upbringing and other hostile influences, it is easier to prioritise rehabilitation over retribution. These wider benefits aren’t just reflected in cases like Schapelle Corby’s. Musical genres such as rap, for example, are largely rooted in the veneration of violence. As a by-product of both disadvantaged societies and criminality, these artworks grant an insight for members of majoritarian cultures into the lives of others. Particularly given that the majority tends to control our reaction to crime, through their democratic control, it’s critical there’s an understanding of the types of norms that operate in criminal circles. Maybe something seems weird about letting people make money out of their crimes. The reality is that few people are willing to subsidise convicted murderers; instead, we engage with people who have stories to tell. These people are those whose acts are mitigated by circumstance, who are the victims of spurious justice, or have a compelling message about crime that people should hear. We shouldn’t regret that.

Even Women’s Weekly seemed reluctant to offer exclusives to Clayton Weatherston.

{ Counterpoint }

ME NEVER PAYS? Megan Dickie

People seem to care a lot more, when attractive people commit crimes.

Time and time again we hear stories of Westerners going overseas, committing crimes, being “unfairly treated” by foreign laws and then selling their stories for millions of dollars back in their home country. But when the first post-prison interview with Schapelle Corby is rumoured to have sold for $3 million Australian, we have to ask ourselves: is this fair? Now, I’m not denying that there’s a huge curiosity factor in play. We all get addicted to the stories of the run-of-the-mill Aussie girl “wrongly accused” of smuggling drugs in her boogie board bag, or the American foreign exchange student “wrongly accused” of murdering her British roommate. But should our curiosity mean that criminals (‘cause let’s face it, whether or not you believe they did it, we’re talking about people who have been convicted) get to make millions off of the fact that they committed a crime? With Corby’s recent release from Indonesian prison, many are asking questions about what will happen to any profits arising from interviews with the 36 year old. Both Indonesia and Australia have laws allowing the government to seize the profits, but while it is likely the Indonesian government will seize the profits, speculation suggests that the Australians will not. This is because there are fears of political fallout from acting against Corby, who has the support of many in the nation. And why wouldn’t she? When she was arrested ten years ago she was a young, attractive Aussie girl, who seemed to have been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, much like Amanda Knox in the US, who has kept audiences captivated with her pleas of innocence. People seem to care a lot more, when attractive people commit crimes. One of the problems with these people receiving money for their stories, aside from the questions of morality, is that it incentivises telling a certain kind of story. People want to read about the innocent girl who was treated unfairly by the Indonesian judiciary, not a story about someone who probably did it and was found guilty after a fair trial in the courts. When the person themselves is receiving the money, it gives them an incentive to tell the story in the way the media wants, meaning truth can get distorted in an effort to sell more copies. If someone is willing to pay you hundreds of thousands or even millions to tell your story, but it has to be in a particular way or they’re not interested, that’s a pretty big incentive to embellish a little.

That’s a real problem because we tend to hold first-hand accounts to be the most true. How can we disagree with someone’s version of events when they were there and we weren’t? If Schapelle says she was mistreated by the justice system in Indonesia, we’re more inclined to believe her than reports to the contrary, because she makes the story personal and therefore relatable. Countries like Indonesia end up getting a bad reputation, as ignorant people. Watch or read an interview with Schapelle and get a biased version of events. I’m all for drawing attention to corruption, and Indonesia certainly does have its fair share of issues. But when one opinion is presented through the personal story of a young girl, it is hard for opposing arguments to gain any traction. People tend to get caught up in the story that surrounds her, and therefore may not read or dismiss opposing arguments. Obviously, not everyone is an idiot, but a lot of people are, when it comes to current events (just take a look at the comments on any news organisation’s Facebook page). If the financial incentive to manipulate the truth is removed, then maybe we’re more likely to get an accurate version of events. People can still share their stories and present their points of view, and of course some of these harms will still occur, but maybe to a lesser degree. At the end of the day these people have the right to share the story to those who want to listen. It’s a good thing for the public to have access to that kind of information and, as I mentioned earlier, we want our curiosities satisfied. But should Schapelle get to pocket the $3 million for interviews about her crime? In my opinion, probably not.

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Guide }

A GUIDE TO WORKING SMARTER, NOT HARDER George Carvell

Create a study ritual.

At the start of each study session gather everything you need – pens, pencils, highlighters, water and snacks. Move everything else out of arm’s reach. Put on some quiet music, no lyrics; classical is best. Try listening to a different album for each class as you revise. Over the weeks you will absorb the intricacies of each track and you will automatically link them with the material you are learning.

Revision schedule.

No matter what your drinking buddies might say, cramming doesn’t work. Reviewing everything you learn periodically throughout the term does! A spaced revision schedule will help you remember lecture material permanently (or at least until exams are over). Try reviewing your notes on the day of your lecture, one day later, one week after that, and then fortnightly or monthly after that. By end of term, a quick skim of your notes will be all you need to prepare for finals.

Stay organised.

Use a tool like Evernote or Onenote to keep all your notes together and accessible. Good old fashioned binders will work, but computerised systems are automatable, searchable and save trees. You can even integrate your favourite calendar app to keep track of classes, tutorials and deadlines.

Make mind maps.

Great for generating, visualising and connecting ideas, mind mapping involves writing a key idea in the centre of a page and using branches to show related information. Use plenty of colour and strong imagery for better recall. A 2006 study showed that creating mind maps is more effective than doing readings, going to lectures, and participating in class discussions…Although you should probably try to do those things too.

Use mnemonics.

Check online for helpful tricks to remember specific ideas – remember learning BEDMAS for order of operations? For remembering lists, make use of “peg words” – a favourite tool of memory champions. This involves taking a well-known series of words, like a nursery rhyme or your favourite song and pairing each word with an item on your list.

{ Canta 2014 }

The Pimsleur technique.

This is a revision strategy that sorts practice items (like flashcards) into groups based on how well you know them. If you get an answer wrong, that card gets a high priority and you will get the chance to try it again soon; if you answer quickly and correctly, you won’t see the card again for a while. There are heaps of programs that will do this for you. “Anki” is a recommended one, it has great functionality and is available for desktop and mobile. Use the Pimsleur technique for learning vocabulary, or anything else that requires repetitive practice.

Record all your deadlines.

For an extra push, change your deadlines so you won’t hand anything in late. Write assignment deadlines in your calendar as if they were a week early. If you get to the night before and you need extra time, you’ll be able to avoid the dreaded all-nighter and grant yourself a stress-free extension.

Review past tests.

Know what you are studying toward. Will you be expected to write short or long answers, essays or multi-choice? Often the same topics will be emphasised year after year. Pick up on these patterns and prepare accordingly. The earlier you do this the better – even if you can’t answer a single question the first time you try, keeping track of how the course material is assessed will help you immensely. Make sure you can answer the questions related to topics you have covered each week.

Practice essays.

If your exams are going to include essays or long answers, you are going to need to practice writing fast and legibly. The more practice you get the better you will be able to perform on the day. If you work from past exam questions and lecture notes, chances are one or more of the questions you have practiced will come up in the exam. Remember to spend the first five minutes jotting down a logical plan for your answer.

Plan according to marking criteria.

Find out what your marker will be looking for. Assignments have specific marking schedules, sometimes you will be given these, other times you won’t. Either way, find out exactly what is required and make sure you understand it. Your tutor’s office hours are a great time to address this sort of question - use them.

No matter what your drinking buddies might say, cramming doesn’t work.

{ Mates }

Marathon Run • Half Marathon Run & Walk 10k Run & Walk • Kids Mara’Fun

Sunday 1 June 2014

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Liquorland Riccarton, 43 Riccarton Rd, T. 03 348 6145 Available at Liquorland Riccarton only. In store retail sales only. Our Exclusive Student Deals are not advertisedin store, show us your Student I.D and they’re yours! Prices and offers valid until 09/04/14, while stocks last.1 Fly Buys Standard Point collected for every $20 spent, excludes purchases of Gift Cards.

{ Travel }

A GUIDE TO SKIING IN JAPAN Words by Ollie Hunt, Photography by Thomas Lloyd

Japan is an exciting and infinitely interesting country, full of history, culture and many a weird yet wonderful idea that the western world isn’t awesome enough to fully embrace. Despite being known for its Harajuku girls, capsule hotels, and game shows such as “Quiet Library” and “Marshmallow Eating Contest,” Ollie Hunt, Thomas Lloyd, Nick Pascoe, and Ryan Read, decided they would head to the land of the rising sun for a bit of snow. Hunt and Lloyd have put together a guide, full of dos, don’ts and handy tips for the next time you decide to take a snow trip to Niseko on a whim.

SKI THE BIG ONE

Travel: Getting to Niseko is no difficult feat.

From Auckland one long flight is required to a large destination in Asia, from which it is a short hop across to New Chitose Airport in Sapporo. There is then a direct bus service called the Whiteliner running from the airport to Niseko, which can deposit you at a number of convenient destinations. Alternatively there is a train system running regularly to and from Niseko, which you’ll be thankful for if you experience the nightmare that is missing your bus.

Student memberships join Craigieburn Club for $25 and Ski for only $40* per day! wwww.craigieburn.co.nz Terms and conditions apply. See online for details.

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Travel }

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Travel }

Stay: While central Hirafu and much of

Niseko is basically a hotel on the Gold Coast (reflected in the company as much as in your wallet), whereas staying in hostel style accommodation provides a welcome insight into Japanese culture and food, while keeping the budget to a minimum. Japanese hostels are run by locals, so the environment is much like a Japanese home with futon mattresses, Japanese toilets and great home style food. Additionally a shuttle to and from the hill ensures that no face shot or succulent Japanese meal goes amiss. Staying with Japanese locals and ski enthusiasts offers a completely different insight into Japanese culture and the environment with raw insight into their daily habits and lifestyle.

Once you have gotten over the excess of skin on display, a Japanese onsen is something to marvel at

Dine: If you choose to stay out for the thrill

of night skiing there are a variety of nice eateries at the base of the hill that offer both Japanese and westernised cuisine. If you feel like indulging in a metre tall beer tower, they are available in the restaurants at the bottom of the hill. However, if you want to feel the comfort of western food, the Niseko Pizza House will blow your mind – it’s a great place for a night out or group meal.

Lunch: Seicomart – effectively Japan’s

equivalent to Foursquare – provides the goods for lunch. A wide variety of cheap but tasty treats are available – from sushi triangles to gallon bottles of vodka for $25, everything a student on the run from their loan could ever want is here. And if your thing is anime, yes, that is catered for too.

Party: If you feel like venturing into Niseko

for a few après ski brews, there are a variety of skier-friendly bars along the main street, which often happen to be filled with Australians. One thing these bars have over the Foundry would have to be the $20 twohour drinks buffet – unlimited access! The live music, abundance of young people and plenty of neighbouring clubs guarantee you a good night.

Indulge: You can try to be on the slopes

everyday, but on that inevitable hangover day there are plenty of other more relaxing activities to experience in Japan. Kutchan is an easy drive from Niseko and is worth the trip to have a look around the funky

convenience and gaming stores. Have lunch at the sushi conveyor belt restaurant while you’re there, just watch out for some of the types of fish!

Do: Make the trip to Rusutsu. A theme park

in summer and a hotel based ski resort in winter, the large variety of cool terrain on offer produces many of the coolest natural features in Japan. With all the same snow as Niseko you are in for a treat! If you are in for a bit of stunting they have just put in a new side country park, which is effectively a bunch of jumps into powder. Super fun resort!

Experience: Once you have gotten over the

excess of skin on display, a Japanese onsen is something to marvel at. Onsen are large spring fed hot pools where people go to relax and cleanse after work or after skiing if you are a visitor. With the hostel running a shuttle to the onsen every evening, they are a must. The only catch is that you can’t wear a thing!

Don’t: Despite the enticing look of fresh snow

on the other side, being arrested or caught in an avalanche is sure to put at least a sour tinge on your trip. If you are looking for adventure, the local Niseko car rental place will hire you a van for a reasonable price and you can literally access ski-movie-like terrain from the side of the road. Don’t forget your international driving permit.

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Maidstone Manor 16

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The cops swung by for a bit. We weren’t in the shit – just getting told to have a good one (see goodone.org.nz)

We were at College House together. That’s how we know each other. We flatted together last year and have kept the same flat for 2014 – except one of our flatmates Henry is doing a six month overseas thing at Purdue University in America, so Duncan is his replacement.

BACK ROW, L-R: Duncan Ballinger, 23, Law & Science Oscar Barkle, 21, Mechanical Eng Jeremy McAlister, 21, Eng Geology MIDDLE ROW, L-R: Rupert Curlett, 21, Mechanical Eng Henry Marchant, 21, Civil Eng FRONT ROW, L-R: Chris Thomson, 21, Law & Commerce Stew Whitehead, 21, Law & Commerce

We’ve got three engineers, a geologist and three lawyers. It’s a pretty good spread really. It’s a bit of a sporty flat – Henry, Stew and Chris all played rugby for the Christchurch Rugby Club. Oscar is just a gym buff and plays lots of cricket. Jeremy is a runner and a referee for rugby and did the blood bin at the Crusaders game last night. We’ve got the ITM sinbin. There have been some quite famous bums in the seat. It’s just a bit of memorabilia really. It hangs out the front normally, but we’ve been told we’re not allowed to have it on the radio. The Edge is here; we won the Flat 40 Mardi Gras flat competition. How did this whole radio thing come to be? Rupert isn’t sure. “Mystery to me.” Perhaps it was just the fact that we have people personalities. I think that’s what we’re kind of known for really. If something’s going we’ll be up for it. There’s quite a set-up. There’s a paddling pool out back, borrowed for the occasion, and a bathtub that doubles as a beer bin. “Chuck some tape maybe around the bottom first,” Rupert suggests as ice is thrown in. Beers jangle as they are shaken into the tub from boxes of Speight’s. An old door on top turns the tub into an outside bar. Chris carefully cut the hedge down this afternoon with a hacksaw.

Sam McKnight is the self-proclaimed unofficial 8th flatmate, but he’s got competition from our neighbor Georgie – they battle it out for place #8 and #9 all the time. Georgie lived with us over the summer and still comes over all the time to watch cricket on Sky. “Who wants a pump?” Georgie says, grabbing the sunscreen. “Can you do my shoulders?” she asks #9. Georgie points to her shoulder. “Look, I have a tan line.” It’s in the shape of five fingers spread, attempting to reach her back. She lives nearby with seven girls. “We’re like the little sisters.” Inside there is a map of New Zealand made out of bottle caps, with all the bottles consumed in a single day. Near it is a flag covered in blood, which is Henry’s. That’s from when we drove down to Dunedin for the 2012 Springboks Test. He got drunk, wrapped himself in the flag and forgot the rule that you can’t open a green bottle with a brown. He just got blood everywhere and then later dislocated his nose. But he recovered. He’s good.

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Are you tired of papercuts? Have your arms gone numb from all that annoying page turning? Sick of the ink smudging because you’ve laughed so hard you’ve cried all over the Letters to the Editor page? Well then....

Congratulations! Canta online is for you!

www.canta.co.nz

WHY I RESPECT THE MURDERER

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Jarrod Gilbert

Janet Malcolm’s The Journalist and the Murderer is an important and confronting book with a stunning opening line: “Every journalist who is not too stupid or too full of himself to notice what is going on knows that what he does is morally indefensible.” Malcolm deals with ideas around deceit and reporting. It is equally important for all writers (and researchers) of non-fiction. Basically Malcolm examines the true story of Joe McGinniss, a writer, who befriended Jeffrey McDonald – a convicted murderer proclaiming his innocence. The writer doesn’t believe MacDonald’s story, but tells him that he does so he can inveigle his way into McDonald’s life and write a bestseller. He does this by feigning a deep friendship over many years and the deceit is only unraveled by the book’s publication when the murderer is confronted in a television interview with the underlying truth that his closest friend was actually his worst enemy. It was an ugly betrayal. The premise of the book is the responsibility of the author to the subject. This issue is important to me as I explore the subject of murder and begin to hang out with and interview murderers, and also victims. But I find the idea that somehow all researchers are parasites is flawed.

If people who agree to assist in research – particularly regarding sensitive subjects – are burnt or betrayed by researchers, who will volunteer to help with future research, even that undertaken by others? The well from which we gather knowledge runs dry. Research ethics, like ethics more generally, are not for selected use and must be applied equally. In this way, while they may have lost it from all others in society, murderers deserve respect from researchers. Malcolm’s book is an important and confronting one that does have a stunning opening line, but I don’t agree with her that to a greater or lesser extent, we are all narks. I learned that you can sleep well at night having gained all of the information you need, and have done that in a way that does not betray people. And given that my topics are gangs and murderers, that’s a very good thing.

But one topic about which I can rest assured was my fastidious approach to protecting my sources. Regardless of who they were and what the situation, what I saw or what I was told was never disclosed if I thought it would compromise those involved.

Ethics in research and writing are not new to me. Patched was a project rife with ethical dilemmas. I have never publically discussed my fieldwork in anything other than perfunctory ways – mindful that some stories may quickly change the focus from my results to my research techniques.

The writer in Janet Malcolm’s book did not feel like he owed a duty to the murderer he ‘befriended’ arguing that the ugly nature of his crimes (he was convicted of brutally murdering his children and pregnant wife) meant deceit was warranted to uncover the truth. The ends, he argued, justified the means.

Telling (hypothetical) stories of me behind the wheel of a stolen car, removing fingerprints from guns being unloaded from a boot, perverting the course of justice, or drug dealing may raise the odd eyebrow.

But the ‘end’ in my view, is not just the book that the writer produces. It is bigger than that. How a researcher behaves doesn’t just reflect on them, but their peers too. And in no small part it also impacts on their discipline generally.

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THE CRIME OF

INEQUALITY

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Sylvia Nissen

Inequality matters. Over the past 30 years, New Zealand has descended from being one of the most equal societies in the OECD to one of the least, a worrying trend highlighted by Max Rashbrooke at UC POLS’s speaker event last month. Some argue that we shouldn’t care, and that growing inequality is due to the rich working harder and the rest getting lazier. Yet ignoring the social and economic impacts of inequality threatens the individual and collective wellbeing of everyone.

Inequality also affects the strength and transparency of our democracy. Political studies have indicated that actual policy outcomes tend to strongly reflect the preferences of the most affluent minority, rather than those of the middle or poorer majority. Inequality has been taken up as an important environmental issue because it drives status competition, intensifies consumerism and increases personal debt.

In the aftermath of the financial crisis and the Occupy movement, there has been a resurgence of interest in the growing inequality within established economies. President Obama has declared income inequality as “the defining challenge of our age.”

Another argument belittling inequality is that it’s just a result of better work outputs among the rich and poor work ethic among the rest.

These effects of inequality are not confined to the poor. High levels of inequality negatively affect the health of even the most affluent, because inequality reduces social cohesion, which leads to more stress, fear and insecurity for everyone. Whichever way you look at it, what matters more for an established economy like New Zealand is not our absolute income, but rather our income relative to the others in our society. If we want to improve social wellbeing, we need to focus on the differences between our incomes, not just about total economic growth.

Nope.

Although New Zealand does not have the massive income differences of the US, the gap between the rich and the rest has widened faster here than in any other developed country over the past thirty years. New Zealand has gone from being one of the most equal societies in the OECD to one of the least.

There is little evidence of a substantial growth in upper end ability over the past 30 years, and high pay is not linked to improved performance (Youtube search the “RSA Animate - Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us.”) At the same time, workers on the bottom end of the pay scale are working longer hours today than they were thirty years ago.

The discussion of inequality in New Zealand and abroad has produced a backlash from pundits (including contributors to Canta) that argue that inequality isn’t a big deal. There is an assumption that inequality matters only if it increases poverty, and that for most people ‘real’ poverty is a thing of the past.

We also need to remember that inequality is created – it is not just something that happens by chance. Adam Smith, often considered to be the grandfather of pure capitalism, pointed out that inequalities in the world reflect socially generated, rather than natural disparities.

Yet what this perspective ignores is that human beings have a deep-seated psychological response to inequality. It invokes feelings of superiority and inferiority, dominance and subordination, which affect the way we relate to and treat each other. Have a look at the data. A growing body of epidemiological research shows that a wide range of problems are more common in less equal societies – including violence, mental illness, loss of community life, obesity, child abuse, bullying, imprisonment, unequal opportunities and poorer wellbeing for children (for more, see a book called The Spirit Level by Wilkinson and Pickett).

Growing inequality in New Zealand has its roots in the numerous changes to governmental policy over the last thirty years, by both the Labour and National parties. In particular, tax and welfare schemes have changed dramatically. The tax on the top earners has decreased from around 60% to 30%. At the same time, welfare has been cut by around 20%. Next, many argue that growing inequality should be put on the back burner during the ongoing financial turbulence. Isn’t it more important to restore economic growth than worry about how the gains are distributed?

There is a growing group of academics, think tanks and international organisations that have argued that high levels of inequality are stymying economic growth. These aren’t radical socialist groups – they include Nobel laureates in economics Joseph Stiglitz and Paul Krugman, and organisations such as the ILO, World Bank and OECD. A report from the International Monetary Fund, for instance, found that a 10% decline in income inequality could boost the duration of a period of economic growth by 50%. In the long run, inequality also undermines the human resources of our economies. As pointed out by Stiglitz and Krugman, too many talented children from poorer families are being trapped by low incomes, reducing the investment in their schooling, limiting their enriching life experiences and obstructing career opportunities. So what can be done? There are plenty of changes that can be made, and there is plenty of healthy debate over what strategies might be the most effective. Adam Smith acknowledged the importance of interventions on behalf of the poor and the underdogs of society, giving a formula of disarming simplicity: “When the regulation is in favour of the workmen, it is always just and equitable; but it is sometimes otherwise when in favour of the masters.” The most well known response is to redistribute wealth – usually by reforming parts of our tax system, such as the top tax bracket or tax on non-income sources of wealth (e.g. property or financial transactions). Another method, known as ‘predistribution’, seeks to change the income we receive from work. For those on the bottom of the pay scale, it can involve improved training opportunities or strengthening collective bargaining. For the top incomes it might involve opening up corporate governance or developing maximum incomes. The effects of inequality are real and clear to those that care to look. We need to wake up the deniers and consider the disparity within our society, and not just our total economic wealth.

UC POLS next speaker: Daniel Walker (Human Trafficking), 14 May, 3-4:30pm, Bentley’s. URL to Youtube video for online version: https://www.youtube.com watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc

Again, no.

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THE HIDDEN CRIME OF Words by Hannah Herchenbach Photograph by Hayley Mitchell

Professor Annabel Taylor is the director of the Te Awatea Violence Research Centre here at UC. She has a focus in comparative research around therapeutic justice, restorative justice, and alternative dispute resolution. After returning from a six-month sabbatical in the States, Taylor is now compiling a report for the Police and Ministry of Justice on what she learned. Hannah caught up with her to talk about her experiences with social work, prisons, and what’s being done to improve the lives of those caught up in the system. So is that something that can involve an entire family?

How did you get into social work? I began with a BA at Victoria – did history, English, some anthro. Then I went onto Teachers College and was a teacher originally. But working in teaching I soon discovered that my students had issues that went well beyond the classroom, and well beyond the bounds of a teacher’s role in terms of what they could do. So I moved towards Social Work where I would be able to work more closely with families, because it was within families that I observed the difficulties for students arising. Once in Social Work I was fortunate enough to have a position at Christchurch Women’s Prison come up. I spent nine years working for what then was the Department of Justice and became the Department of Corrections partway through.

My father was a prison visitor; I used to go as a child when he visited Mt Eden prison.

What was it like at first – working in a prison? My first experiences were based on some much earlier childhood experiences that I had – that sounds interesting, doesn’t it? [Laughs] My father was a prison visitor; I used to go as a child when he visited Mt Eden prison. He was a Quaker, and it was part of his belief was to support prisoners. But prior to working in Christchurch Women’s Prison I had worked in the community as a Social Worker. So it was very different coming into a prison environment – very regulated, very controlled, very defined in terms of power, and quite an anxiety-provoking place to work at times, but also very rewarding and very satisfying. It took me some time to settle in.

gang members and the kind of tensions that form between different groups. Becoming familiar with the national networks, offending networks, and the place that women hold in those networks.

Did you feel working in the prison changed you?

There’s a notion that therapeutic justice is a softer option and it’s not punishment. But in actual fact, my own work with offenders indicates that they have more to worry about if they are having their offending truly put under the microscope in terms of what’s causing it and what they need to do about putting it right – not just for themselves, but also for the victims that they have harmed. That’s a much harder road than a six-month slap on the wrist.

Absolutely. I think it has a major impact on anybody. You quickly learn you have to work within very strict boundaries in terms of the work. Working within the prison I had to learn an awful lot about the offending relationships, the whole pattern of relationships in Christchurch and indeed nationally. Learning to work with

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What is therapeutic justice? Therapeutic justice holds people to account, and some would argue that the process is more difficult than doing a notional punishment, which our criminal justice system tends to do.

How does it differ from what our criminal justice system usually does?

Yes. There’s a lot of work that shows how much more effective it is to work with families at getting a holistic solution to the behaviour that’s happening. If you focus on just one or two individuals in that scene – on just one child and just the offending parent, then you’re not going to harness all the strengths in a family that can come to supporting behaviour change.

I can imagine that when you start introducing these ideas how much it costs, and how much time is involved when it’s not just sending someone to the time out corner is an issue that comes up a lot? You’re right. We are so often focussed on these short, seemingly cheaper solutions. But in actual fact they are more expensive in the long run. When we are talking about in the women’s prison, it’s $138k to keep a woman inside for one year. If you’re managing to turn that person around you’re saving the community a lot more than by continuously slapping on these short to medium term sentences. But if you have a conference and set in place a plan that’s impractical and doesn’t get at the heart of what’s going on, chances are the family is going to be up before the authorities once again. So it’s a similar challenge, putting in place programmes and services that are going to support the change of either individual and/or the family.

And that has quite an impact on the community? There are implications for the community in both notional and therapeutic scenarios, in terms of having the support services that are necessary in order to help people make change. That’s a major challenge for communities everywhere, really. For example, there’s a real shortage of treatment for substance dependency in the South Island. There’s nothing in the South Island for women only, so it’s hard for some women to find what the

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F DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

parole board would deem to be a safe and supportive environment once they are released from prison. The upshot of that is they tend to get locked up still – they get deferred back to prison until an appropriate place can be found. And I’d hazard a guess that often the places that finally are found are not really the best in terms of meeting the offender’s needs, reintegration needs. But the real challenge is funding.

Have you noticed major differences between why women get violent versus men? It is different. One of the aspects about women’s offending is that you rarely find women who are leaders of gangs, for example. Generally women in the criminal food chain probably reflect the stratification of society. They rarely take the lead in criminal transactions. And their violence is generally speaking is more interpersonal.

What about the healing work? Is the structure similar no matter who is doing the offending? The house that we have provided for coming out of prison has generally focussed on employment and living skills – the sort of re-integration skills that women have needed or wanted when they have come out. Women are often very concerned with their families and children when they get out, and how they might resume custody. But mental health and drug dependency are also both significant issues for them. And unfortunately, we have got a shortage of options for women in this area. So it’s a real challenge for service providers, when they come out to be able to make sure that they are safe in the house.

Why does New Zealand have such high rates of child abuse? Well, in terms of comparison it’s problematic because one could argue that as a small nation we are good at keeping tabs, and that our reporting mechanisms

in relatively small communities work more efficiently. And also that people care to the extent that they will notify. And we’ve added some major steps with legislative change. America for example hasn’t signed up to the UN Convention against physical punishment of children, so there are some differences in policy and approach from different nations. Nevertheless, New Zealand as we know does have a high rate of child abuse. There are a number of causes that have been identified in regard to this, among which is poverty, but I suspect it also has very much to do with histories of violence within families. We’ve got situations of intergenerational conflict where children are learning from parents who are violent, and that’s connected to our domestic violence incidents, which is also high. And clearly we’ve still got a major issue in terms of gender. More commonly men, thinking they can settle a conflict through physical violence. Which is not to say that psychological violence that might be exercised by both parties isn’t invidious too, but just that physical violence is absolutely not okay. But we clearly in NZ have an ongoing issue in regard to this in our family culture.

Is there a way you structure your life, your inner mental life where you can engage this kind of stuff day in, day out and not go home at the end of the day and have the sadness of it all overwhelm you? It’s kind of about relativity. For me the benchmark is always having worked in prison. There’s no environment that I have dealt with since then that matches what I’ve had to deal with working in that environment. There’s always underlying violence in those settings. You always have the risk of the outbreak of violence at any moment. Clients are often very unstable, and even though you are in a controlled environment, because of its control, there is this underlying continuance of anger and frustration in that workplace. But in a

We’ve got situations of intergenerational conflict where children are learning from parents who are violent, and that’s connected to our domestic violence incidents, which is also high

way, and moving into an academic setting I feel very privileged in being able to take a more reflective approach to it and be able to think about what underpins the reasons as to why we do things the way we do.

Do you find that to be a source of more gratification? Yes, absolutely. I’m endeavouring to answer some of the questions and challenges that we have in this area. We tend to use a pretty blunt instrument in dealing with offending behavior, so the power of research really is about increasing our information about these things so that we’re a bit smarter about how we deal with it.

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AN INTERVIEW WITH...

CAIN

Ed – Well... how did you enjoy farming? Not too much from what I gather... Cain – No, I hated it, and what’s more, I had that insufferable lout to work alongside. He wouldn’t do any of the heavy work and then mum and dad would shower him with praise. It made me sick. Ed – Sorry to hear that. Are you sure you weren’t just a bad farmer? Cain – Maybe. Ed – Did you recognise that you had the capacity to kill another person? Cain – Not exactly. Ed – How do you mean? Cain – Well my parents committed the original sin, you know, Adam and Eve and their little apple episode. In so many ways, I don’t think I could live up to that single apple. It defined them in a way that my existence never could. And then I would see Abel flinging himself around the field, as if he were a pig in shit. Ed – You had pigs on the farm? Cain – Well yeah, just a few. We didn’t keep many. One day we received a memo from upstairs about heaven hating ham. Ed – I see, and you never experienced the pleasure of bacon in the morning? No wonder you were a frustrated man. Cain – Yeah, please don’t mention the word pleasure to me. Ed – You never experienced pleasure when you killed Abel? Cain – Not at the time, no. Ed – Not at the time? Doesn’t sound particularly remorseful on your part. Are you saying that you have no regrets about committing the first murder other than say... not enjoying it, at the time? Cain – Pretty much. He was an arsehole. Always happy. A real user, ya know? He would just take and take and take. I know the oxen had a few complaints, it wasn’t made public though. Fucking management bullshit. Ed – I guess some things never change. Cain – You’re telling me? I know they don’t! One thing that I do actually enjoy is all them religious folks. They seem to actively seek out an end to their current existence, fucking brilliant. Always focusing on what will happen when they perish; any farmer can tell them what will happen. They just don’t want to listen. You get born and start rotting until you die, then you die and rot some more. Ed – That is a tad crude and pessimistic Cain. Cain – You were the one that asked for this interview. Stop asking questions if you don’t want my answers, you pretentious magazine totting dick knuckle. Ed – Fair point. So, Abel wasn’t able to see his final blow coming? Cain – Haha! Very funny, I will have to tell him about that one, oh and no. He was oblivious right up until the deed was done. Ed – Woah woah, you guys are still in touch? That must mean that there is an afterlife right? Cain – Of course there isn’t an afterlife. Although, there is an afterdeath. Ed – Surely those two concepts are interchangeable? An afterlife is what occurs after death, after all. Cain – That is based on the assumption that you are alive in the first place. Ed – Um… I think I have everything I need here. Please don’t contact me in the future.

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YODA Ed – Hello Yoda, are you well? Yoda – Well indeed, I am. Ed – Excellent! Lets get started, have you ever committed a crime? Yoda – As a young Jedi, I did. Cause mischiefs no longer, do I. Ed – Wow! I didn’t expect you to have had a rebellious phase. At least not until the whole fighting the Republic thing that went on, you know, with Mr Vader… Care to elaborate on these earlier wild days? Yoda – Indecent in public, become I would. Ed – You’re saying you were a flasher? Yoda – Saying I was, yes. Ed – Um, all right then, why did you do that Yoda? Yoda – Felt small I did. Sense of power it gave me. The force strong it was, under my robe. Ed – You felt small? But you are an awesomely powerful Jedi, surely that means insecurities aren’t a problem for you. Yoda – Green and wrinkled at 15 I be. The other Jedi apprentice chant, “Yoda Yoda, fell in soda, looks like Rancour’s boulders.” Very upsetting it was, comparison with troll testicles. Ed – I’m sorry that happened. Yoda – Your fault it was not, young editor. Ed – And this led to a flashing habit? Yoda – Yes. Approach person I would; ask then if want to see my lightsaber. Say to them, “make it glow for you I will.” Ed – Wow, Just wow. I must admit I am a little taken aback. How did you manage to curtail this criminal habit? Yoda – Began to use the force I did, frequently, on myself. Ed – On yourself? You mean you used the force to… Yoda – Manipulate my little light-saber I did. Great control and effort it took. Ed – Great control? No kidding, I’d worry that I’d rip my cock off doing that, then being incapacitated and having to watch it fly around the room, smashing windows. Yoda – Great strain it was. Grew in power I did. Recognised by other Jedi and insecure no longer, less horny I became. Used force against myself no longer. Ed – That certainly explains why you are so in touch with the force. Say, you wouldn’t want to hang out later in my room would you? I have an excellent finger puppet collection and maybe you could show me some, um, precise force techniques. Yoda – Hmm… Close to the dark-side that would be. No. Ed – What if I buy you dinner first? Yoda – Ok, go to dinner I shall. Ed – Wonderful! Let’s get outta here, you like noodles? Yoda – Most delicious noodles are, yes. Lead the way, young editor.

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THE SOUTH AFRICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM: OSCAR PISTORIUS Taidhg Fraser

If you know this, you would probably also know that on the early morning of February 14th 2013 his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, was found dead in their home, with Pistorius charged with her murder the following day. The reason why this case is so interesting, for me at least, is because the South African judicial system is completely unlike anything else in the rest of the world. Despite being a British colony and adopting the rest of their legal system, as we did in New Zealand, in South Africa they declined to adopt jury trials in criminal proceedings, with cases instead being decided by the judge alone. In practicality this was good for South Africa because it allowed them to skip around the issue of blacks (and earlier on – women) from sitting on juries, which would’ve been impossible under the policies of apartheid. Ironically however, a black female judge is deciding this case. An impartial jury on a high profile case is also unlikely, demonstrating another benefit to a judge alone process. But that’s not to say that our system is right and theirs is wrong. UC’s Dean of Law put out a press release before proceedings explaining this. Neither system is inherently right or wrong; they just go about different ways to achieve a just result, on a case-by-case basis. Our justice system is based on the English system, but the South African model has its roots in the Roman and Civil systems of justice. What is also important to note is that, South Africa has the defence of private property available for criminal charges. This is an objective test, where a defence must be directed against an attacker, necessary to avert danger, and is a reasonable response to the attack. Without wanting to get down to the minutiae of how this defence would work in practice, what steps would need to be met, or even if this defence is appropriate (bear in mind this is South Africa) the claim, “I thought she was an intruder,” has slightly more weight behind it, than it would first suggest.

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On your marks...get set...

GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL Chance

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past two years, you would by now know of “The Blade Runner” Oscar Pistorius, and how he made history by becoming the first double amputee to compete at the Olympics in London 2012.

DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200

The fact he enjoyed guns, had anger issues, vomited as the autopsy report was read, do not imply guilt… Given this, the forensic evidence becomes even more crucial to determine whether or not on the summarized facts and arguments that Oscar Pistorius killed Reeva Steenkamp, without valid cause or excuse beyond a reasonable doubt. The fact he enjoyed guns, had anger issues, vomited as the autopsy report was read, do not imply guilt. It is entirely up to the legal teams discretion as to whether these facts are relevant to the case. What would also make a lot of people uneasy about this case is the amount of media coverage this case is receiving, not just nationally, but internationally. The fact a new channel has been made available in South Africa for the public to view all the court proceedings in their entirety surely begs the question, if it truly is a free and fair trial. Indeed, it even conjures up memories of the infamous O.J. Simpson 1994 murder trial in the United States.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on South African criminal law and the procedure of the South African judiciary, nor do I know what exactly happened on the morning of February 14th in their home in Pretoria, or what was going through the mind of Pistorius at the time. That is up to the court to decide. I sure as hell don’t want this piece to be viewed as an attack or a defence for Pistorius. Quite the opposite in fact, an innocent woman is dead as a result of this, and that is truly the greatest loss in all of this. There is no doubt that he killed her, and he is not disputing this fact, it is simply a question of how long he goes away for it. But this whole situation and case makes me feel uneasy. Maybe it’s because we live in a country where it is a Constitutional right to be entitled to a free and fair trial adjudged by a jury of our peers, if we are charged with a criminal offence. Maybe it’s because if we were to be tried in a courtroom it wouldn’t be live-tweeted, blogged or streamed to be watched by all and sundry on their televisions, smartphones and computers. Maybe because the New Zealand judiciary, despite all its faults, inefficiencies and failings is designed to keep innocent people out of jail and does a pretty good job doing so. In this case, either through design or by circumstance, I don’t feel the same way. The public have already, for right or wrong, labelled him as guilty of this crime even though he may in fact be found, not to be. That for me is the greatest crime of all.

CHRISTCHURCH CRIME PIECE – FRAUD Taidhg Fraser

When we think of crime, very rarely does our mind immediately turn to fraud, and other whitecollar crimes. Is it because we perceive it as a ‘victimless’ crime, where the only ‘victim’ is the company that has been defrauded? Do we rationalise that the company makes huge profits anyway – it’s only just and equitable for this person to be a modern Robin Hood and take from the company to meet their own needs? Despite New Zealand being one of the ‘least corrupt countries in the world’ according to Transparency International, global accountants PricewaterhouseCoopers say we have the fourth highest level of fraud from 78 surveyed countries. And whether it’s from an insurer, a finance company, a secretary getting her own back, or a Bernie Madoff scheme, Christchurch does have an historical record of fraud. And I’m not just talking about South Canterbury Finance – this dates back to the 1880’s. On the 16th December 1885, a severed hand washed up on Sumner beach and was the basis of the Howard life insurance case. This was where Mr. Howard had taken out a £2,400 life insurance policy (equivalent to nearly $400,000 today), which was strange seeing it was only taken out 6 months before his disappearance and that he only earned £2 5s a week. The insurance company thought something suspicious was afoot and put out a request for information on the matter, as did the police. A man was arrested in Wellington who met the description of Mr. Howard – with both hands in tact – and he later confessed to the crime and identified himself as Mr. Howard. In April 1886, Mr. Howard, his wife, and two accomplices who reported the crime and presented the hand were charged with various counts of fraud, conspiracy, and other dishonesty offences. After a series of inconclusive verdicts by the jury, Mrs. Howard and the two accomplices were found not guilty and Mr. Howard was found guilty of attempting to obtain money fraudulently. He was sentenced to two years hard labour. But who did the hand belong to? Mr. Howard and his lawyer took that secret to their graves.

So maybe life insurance fraud isn’t your cup of tea – maybe you’ll just go down the Brian Tamaki route and start a cult, I mean church. Well, unfortunately you wouldn’t be the first in Christchurch to do that either. In January 1890, Arthur Worthington and his family arrived in Christchurch from the US, where he was to give a public lecture on “religion, science and metaphysics.” This was very popular and led to more lectures, so many that within two years the ‘Students of Truth’ movement had been established, with in excess over 400 members. This movement was condemned by the existing religious community in Christchurch, but did not stop the group erecting a huge Greek-style temple on Latimer Square. By 1893 marital difficulties led to Mr. and Mrs. Worthington separating and Mr. Worthington moving in with a young church member. This led his estranged wife to claim that they were not actually married and he wasn’t the father of their children.

Maybe you’ll just go down the Brian Tamaki route and start a cult, I mean church.

These claims led the religious community to investigate who Mr. Worthington really was. It was discovered he was a simple con-man, having swindled at least nine other older women of their money after befriending and marrying them, in most cases, while he was still married to previous victims. The reason he came to Christchurch? He was fleeing from the husband of another intended victim. These revelations, combined with Worthington later marrying the young church member rocked the religious group, and membership dwindled. After forcing the sale of the building to be in his name fully, he couldn’t come up with the money to pay for it, and fled to Tasmania in 1895, leaving those followers who had fronted with money for him with nothing. Amazingly he returned in 18 months later to give another series of talks on his ‘mission’ in Hobart and Christchurch. These meetings were met with angry crowds, and an estimated 6,000 strong mob had to be cleared by police, and a riot broke out before his final talk. Later Worthington returned to Australia and joined the Salvation Army. But he continued with his con-man ways and was imprisoned there for seven years. After this he returned to the US with his ‘Christchurch’ wife and was ordained a Presbyterian minister before dying in custody in 1917. So there you have it – fraud in Christchurch has a long and colourful history. So before you decide to torch your flat in order to erase your debts, or get some insurance money, just remember that you’re not the first, and you won’t the last to try this in Christchurch, and maybe there’s a better way to get that cash.

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Reviews }

COURT HEAD TO COLD READ PLAY

Kathleen Burns receives a script from Melanie Camp

Reviewed Hannah Herchenbach Court Theatre chief executive Philip Aldridge has read every play the theatre has ever staged – all except the Iranian play in which he is about to star. Nassim Soleimanpour’s play White Rabbit Red Rabbit requires no rehearsals, no director, and no set. A different actor each night will perform the play once, cold, and then never perform it again. Aldridge knew nothing about the play when associate director Melanie Camp approached him to perform it, and still doesn’t. Despite that, he is not nervous. “I find it hard to get nervous about something I know nothing about. It’s not like I’m going to forget my words.” The play, which was written in Iran when Soleimanpour was barred from holding a passport after refusing to do national service,

{ Canta 2014 }

premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2011 and has been performed around the world and translated into several languages.

cold. Camp also asks audiences to abstain from finding out details about the play before seeing it.

Camp said staging the play at the Court Theatre had been “an interesting process.”

The aim was for actor and audience to be on the same page, she said.

“Normally our CEO Philip Aldridge would read everything and the final say for any programming goes through him. But when I found the play, I knew he may want to do it, so I had to sit him down and go, ‘There’s this play that I think you should do and you can’t read it’.”

“You cannot deny that it is intriguing: ‘We’re not going to tell you what this play is about, so come along’.”

{WHO} The Court Theatre

Christchurch actress Kathleen Burns cold-read the play at its opening last week [March 22] and said it was brilliant.

{WHAT} ‘White Rabbit, Red Rabbit’ play

“It was like I was on this train that I couldn’t get off.”

{WHERE} Pub Charity Studio

It is not only the actors who come to the play

{WHEN} Now until April 5 {$?} $20, www.courttheatre.org.nz

WHAT’S ON AOTEAROA SURF

Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

F I L M F E S T I VA L

Friday 4 April 7:30p.m. – 10:00p.m. The Twisted Hop, 616 Ferry Rd, Woolston FREE

CHRISTCHURCH - CANTERBURY UNI, AMPHITHEATRE HILL WED 2ND APRIL / SHOWTIME 7:30PM Gypsy jazz, alt country and a bit of brit 2 FEATURE FILMS + SHORT FILMS punk in the mix, don’t miss this fantastic duo

TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW AT WWW.ASFF.CO.NZ OR CASH DOOR SALES ON THE NIGHT

Grayson Gilmour + Oslo Accords

Aotearoa Surf Film Festival

PRESENTED IN ASSOCIATION WITH CANTERBURY UNIVERISTY ASSOCIATION Saturday BOARDRIDERS 5 April Doors open 9:00pm Darkroom FREE

Wednesday 2 April Show starts 7:30pm UC Music Block Amphitheatre Tickets: $10 CUBA members, $12 students, $18 adults Purchase on the door or at www.asff.co.nz

Die! Die! Die!

Presented in association with Canterbury University Boardriders Association the ASFF will be screening two feature films and short films for you to enjoy.

Friday 4 April Doors open 9:30pm Wunderbar Tickets: $10

EFSoc Quiz Night

The Food Show Christchurch

Wednesday 2 April 7:00p.m. Bentleys (same building as Foundry) $2 per person (teams of 3-5)

Friday 4 April to Sunday 6 April CBS Arena Christchurch Tickets: $19 General Admission. $15 Child (under 12). FREE for children under five.

Contact: socials@efsoc.co.nz

New Zealand loves The Food Show. It’s where we go to stock up on the best food, drink, and kitchen equipment and learn how to cook like a star at home.

This is the first of two consecutive nights Grayson Gilmour is playing at darkroom. This Saturday night show is with his full band.

Siege On Ilam Fields Sunday 6 April 12:00p.m. Price: $10 The Maker Society inaugural design competition. Materials provided and you have to build trebuchets. Prizes for the best high-velocity counterweighted machine. Contact: arm168@uclive.ac.nz

The GC, OpSoc & CUBA present Bus Trip Bitches Friday 4 April 7:00pm – bus leaves from outside the Foundry Tickets: Members $15, Non-members $20 Theme: 60s, 70s & 80s OpSoc - 60s Hippies GC - 70s Pornstars CUBA - 80s Ghetto Blasters

DJ Hobbit Thursday 3 April 9:00p.m. – 1:00a.m. Phoenix Bar 15 Main North Rd Papanui FREE

Inconvenience Store

Pallet Pavilion Greatest Hits – Last Day Ever

Tuesdays – Sundays, 9:30am – 5:30pm Cathedral Junction, Shop 4

Sunday 6 April 12:00pm – 9:00pm

Store for all things slightly inconvenient. Stock changes from week to week. Run by GapFiller.

Sunday Jam Sessions and the final day to see the Pallet Pavilion

{ Canta 2014 }

{ Haberdashery }

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A NINE YEAR OLD? Andrew Flanagan

University students think they’re pretty clever, especially the ones that have been here for a few years. But are they really as smart as they think they are? I decided to put them to the test with a series of pretty basic questions, and see how they stacked up against the intellect of a nine year old. George, 21 3rd Yr P.E student

Mischa, 29, BA Education/Psyc

Ken, Mature, Film student

Gabby W, 9, Yr 5 Primary student

ANSWER

Tegucigalpa is the capital of what country?

Not from Earth

Tibet

Cameroon

Samoa

Honduras

What is Mr Freeze’s primary goal?

Freeze the Earth

Freeze everything

To take over the world

To cure his wife

To cure his wife from her illness

Mickey Mouse

Steamboat Mickey

Something the Rabbit

101 Dalmatians

Steamboat Willy

Spud

No idea

Bang

Boom

Spudow

Why did they have to stop taking aerial pictures of penguins in Antarctica to count how many there were?

Half of the penguins were in the sea

Something to do with their poop

Difficult to identify the penguins

Because the penguins would watch the plane, fall over then somebody had to go and pick all the penguins back up

Who did Hulk call a puny god?

Thor

Loki

Undertaker

Don’t know

No idea

Undertaker

In what movie does the mother try to replace her daughter’s eyes with buttons?

No idea

Coraline

What does grunon mean in Spanish?

Upset

Healthy feet

Onion

Dark Green

Grumpy

2/10

2.5/10

2/10

6/10

What was the first Disney cartoon called? When a potato mine blows up in Plants vs Zombies, what does it say?

What is the middle key of a keyboard called? Who is 21-0 at Wrestlemania?

SCORE

Verdict: With a combined total of 6 ½ the three students would have been good enough to avoid the embarrassment, but Gabby has slammed the trio into submission with a respectable 6/10

{ Canta 2014 }

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