CANTA, Issue #09 2018 by UCSA

15 Things to do WHEN YOU SPEND YOUR SUMMER IN SHANGHAI 1

1. GO TO CHINAS OUTRAGEOUS NIGHTCLUBS

9. GET PICS WITH THE LOCALS

2. GO ON A DUMPLING DATE

10. GIVE AN IMPORTANT SPEECH

3. ENJOY ALL THINGS GUCCI

11. HANG WITH YOUR NEIGHBOURS

4. SEE WHERE OUR NZ EXPORTS REALLY END UP

12. RIDE THE SHARED BIKES

5. TAKE THE SELFIES

13. ENJOY THE POLLUTED VIEW

6. DRESS LIKE PRINCESSES

14. GET PICS WITH THE LOCALS AGAIN

7. EAT FROGS

15. VISIT THE WORLD’S LARGEST STARBUCKS

8. GO FOR SHANGHAI’S SPICIEST HOT POT

G C C S H A N G H A I S H O U T I S E P I C - y o u s h o u l d a p p ly APPLY GCCCANTERBURY.CO.NZ/SHANGHAI-SHOUT APPLICATIONS CLOSE 12TH AUGUST FIND ‘GLOBAL CHINA CONNECTION’ FOR MORE INFO

in this issue

contributors JOSHUA BROSNAHAN

BEN O’CONNELL

KELLY PHILLIPS

CONOR JONES

JADE DOGLIONE

SAM GIBSON

LIAM DONNELLY

LEWIS HOBAN

NATHAN JAMES ASHER ETHERINGTON

FISI CARRASCO REX EMMA MCCONE

SPANKY MOORE

MAX FARRA

LIAM STRETCH

CANTA’S BROKEN NEWS

BEN APPETIT: REBOOT

TOP FIVE NZIFF MOVIES

PRO CABLE WAKEBOARDING

WELLNESS WATCH: WHY IS EVERYONE AT UNIVERSITY SO EXTROVERTED?

GIG GUIDE

A FEW NOTES WITH LEWIS HOBAN

CANTA COLUMNS

ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH: MT FYFFE

Letters to the Editor HIDE, SERENA...

LETTER OF THE WEEK

Hello, I might be going a lil crazy but I’m sure my childhood idol Serena from What Now is on campus. CANTA please investigate!! Katie Katie, I’m not confirming nor denying this. But I will include a recipe for CANTA branded Iconic Children’s Morning Show Gunge: 350ml of water 3 to 4 drops of UCSA Green paint powder. 140g corn flour

Thank you for the positive constructive criticisms! Thank you for taking the time to reply as I figured that my irrelevance wouldn’t have warranted one! To explain a few things you touch on, I rated the vending machine coffee as ‘pretty good’ when compared to expectations of a $2 coffee. I know The Shed has been closed for a while - it was one of my fave cafe spots and I wanted to acknowledge it. And finally, remember I only had one latte at each place: I acknowledged how small of a sample size that is and lattes are only one type of coffee! In my

EDITOR’S NOTE

opinion, chais are great at Cafe 1894, mochas at the Shilling Club, I could go on. To use a word from a mate, “coffee is such a subjective choice”. I knew from the outset that the inevitable coffee edition would cause quite the stir. Most people have their preferred brew to which they remain loyal of course! This edition has (as I hoped) already sparked conversation on campus as to where the best coffees are, and exposed people to all the places on offer! If you want to talk more I’d love to! Over a coffee. Your shout. - Ben

Why is everyone so nice?! I want some Worldstar level square ups. Piping hot coffee to the face. Tasers, nunchucks, hair extensions ripped out. What do I have to do, people? Honestly.

Pour 350ml of warm tap water to a small saucepan or bowl, and then wait until it is cool enough for you to put your hands in. Pour 250ml of the warm water into a bowl (leaving 100ml to one side).Add three to four drops of the powder paint until the water is about a shade darker than you want the gunge to be. Mix the water and paint well with a spoon, until fully mixed. Measure 140g of corn flour and place it into a separate large-sized bowl. Pour the coloured water slowly into the bowl with the corn flour. And now for the fun bit… Get stuck in using your fingers to mix the ingredients together until you have a thick paste, but feel free to use a wooden spoon if you want. Leave the gunge too cool for 20 minutes and you’re good to GUNGE. CANTA

there are many pragmatic difficulties associated with tuition funding in tertiary institutions (some of which de la Rey discusses in a YouTube video entitled ‘Professor Cheryl de la ReyThe Implications of the Fees Must Fall Protests’).

Canta,

Last month UC announced the selection of Cheryl de la Rey as our new Vice Chancellor. I can only imagine her time at UC will be much less turbulent than her recent experiences as VC for Pretoria University. The #FeesMustFall protests occurred in 2015 and 2016 in response to the South African government’s proposal to increase tuition fees, making it harder for those from socio-economically disadvantaged backgrounds to pursue tertiary education. While the 2015 protests ended when it was announced that fees would not increase for 2016, the 2016 protests began when the Minister of Higher Education announced an 8% fee increase for 2017. The increase in tuition fees caused such an outcry as it was related to many other factors, such as: education becoming increasingly inaccessible to poorer students, the exacerbation of racial inequalities caused by high fees, declining government funding for higher education, and the fact that many university managers receive substantial incomes. During the protests, police brutalities were inflicted upon many students. Tear-gas, stun grenades, and rubber bullets were used against students, with allegations that police specifically targeted student leaders. Of course, the issues surrounding university funding are complex and

While I simply do not know enough to be able to apportion blame to institutional actors in this situation, it seems clear that the University of Pretoria’s response to the protests left much to be desired legally and ethically. Students at Pretoria who had been arrested for protesting were barred from registering at the university in 2017 unless they wrote a letter detailing that they would “avoid similar incidents as in 2016”. An interpretation of this is that the university would not readmit these students unless they agreed not to protest. To make one’s education contingent on one not exercising one’s right to free speech is unethical and even legally problematic. I’m sure de la Rey is a very competent Vice Chancellor, but I would argue that there is cause to be concerned about someone who holds a position of power at a university who thinks that it is ethically justifiable to threaten to prevent people from receiving an education in order to coerce them into not exercising a basic legal right. It seems that in her position as VC de la Rey was either complicit in the issuing of these letters, or she could have exercised her power to prevent such an occurrence but did not.

DETECTIVE DUFUS IS MAYBE A LITTLE RACIST Why has no one called into question the blatant nepotism rife in the UCSA? Having a magazine editor related to someone on the student exec is something I wish to highlight for discussion. Who is responsible for this decision and why weren’t the wider student body made aware of this? I would appreciate a prompt answer, thanks. Nepotism Dectective Is your name Dec or is that just a shitty typo? It’s a typo isn’t it? Ohhhhhh man. Sam Bros and I are not related. We have the same last name. It’s mildly weird, but we have dealt with it for almost two years now. Sam has Chinese heritage. I am white. Yes, I would like to be anything but a genetic margarine sandwich but SUCH IS LIFE. Sorry Dec, time you moved on to bigger and better problems. Maybe start with why you wear ankle socks with your Subway uniform?

Anon

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NEW VICE CHANCELLOR

James Hight (Central Library)

NEWSF FEEDING THE TROLLS? – THE ROLES AND BENEFITS OF ONLINE TROLLING New University of Canterbury research into the behavior of online trolls has revealed the many actors involved and a surprising number of benefits to trolling – and not just for the trolls. When University of Canterbury (UC) doctoral student Maja Golf-Papez left a marketing career in Slovenia to start her research into mischief-making consumer behaviors among online trolls, she didn’t expect to be entertained or find benefits to trolling. A postgraduate student with the College of Business and Law, Ms Golf-Papez initially thought trolling and cyberbullying were similar. She has come to realise they describe two distinct behaviors that need to be differentiated.

“Trolling is when someone is deceptive and mischievous. A troll typically has no intent to cause harm but is trying to provoke a reaction. Whereas cyberbullying is targeted with the purpose of causing harm to an individual person.”

In the pursuit of understanding trolling behavior, she sought out trolls to interview. As she did so, she was trolled many times and found trolls had been removed or banned from pages before she got a chance to interact with them. “Good trolls are elusive and, I find, highly intelligent characters. They know how to look after themselves and operate within but on the fringes of the law.”Once she tracked them down, Ms Golf-Papez started her data collection by interviewing celebrity trolls. As with other groups in all areas of society, a certain level of celebrity has been attached to individuals in the trolling community. Some of these trolls have half a million followers, who are eager to see what they’ll do next, encourage their behavior, dress themselves as targets and ‘reward’ trolls in

the online currency of likes, comments and reactions, both negative and positive. From these interviews, five case studies were established highlighting different types of trolling behavior across different channels. As another part of her research, Maja interacted with some targets, bystanders and online moderators, and conducted more than 300 hours of online observation of trolling across different channels, including gaming platforms, forums, social media channels and news platforms. Ms Golf-Papez has published a paper about her research in the Journal of Marketing Management and says she has been surprised by the benefits of trolling she has found. A number of trolls are gaining financial benefits from view rates and advertising space as well as conventional business transactions, she says. “Some more risky brands are paying trolls to pose as customer service reps to respond to complaints and questions in a way the brand couldn’t or wouldn’t usually.”In a society constantly in need of entertainment, Ms Golf-Papez’s research considers whether trolling has become just another form of entertainment. While audience members find trolling amusing, some trolling acts cause problems for the targets, firms and online moderators. Ms Golf-Papez hopes her findings will help to differentiate the behaviors of trolls and cyberbullies, inform education around what, if anything, targets or online moderators should do in response to online trolls and ultimately inform policy makers when they are writing laws around online behavior. Associate Professor Veer says Ms Golf-Papez’s work has the potential to show not only that actor network theory can play a real role in understanding online phenomena like trolling, but also that trolling is a multifaceted practice that has both positives and negatives. “Her work is already challenging the way trolls are defined and the way in which they are different from cyberbullies or other online negative behaviors.”

SFEED M E E T YO U R E X E C JULIA ROLLESTON

YOU THINKING ABOUT EXAM RESULTS? Are you looking over your results and wishing you had done better? It can feel overwhelming to do your assignments or exams. It can also be discouraging to receive feedback and marks that are not what you’re used to. Remember that it takes time to learn how things work in a different academic environment.

WHAT’S YOUR ROLE WITH THE EXEC? I’m the commerce representative, I sit on a variety of boards within the Commerce department providing a student voice. SUMMARISE YOURSELF IN ONE SENTENCE: Loves a Mono boogie, hates a Friday 8.30am meeting. WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT UNIVERSITY OF CANTERBURY? The people I have met at UC is what I love the most about this uni. So many fun characters which creates an awesome environment. UC is also situated in such an epic location with the Port Hills, beach and mountains so easily accessible. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TRY MAKE BETTER FOR STUDENTS THIS YEAR? I want to help enhance the student experience for all students at UC, particularly focusing on improving mental health. I’m also working on promoting our new UCSA building which is due to open next year, something which is super exciting - keep an eye out for updates in the very near future! ARE YOU INVOLVED IN ANYTHING ELSE AT UC? I’ve been involved in a variety of clubs over my years at UC, I’ve taken a step back from them this year to make room for more time on the ski fields, the UCSA and my studies. WHAT’S YOUR TOP TIP FOR PEOPLE IN THEIR FIRST YEAR AT UC? Go to Mono, get out of Ilam to explore what Canterbury has to offer and the free tea & coffee in the lib during exam periods are a life saver.

Using a second language can also put more stress on you and affect your performance. The good news is you’re not alone, and there is support here at UC for you. The Academic Skills Centre is located on the third floor of the Puaka-James Hight Library. It offers several resources to help you improve your academic results, including online resources. If you need assistance with writing, check out the four-part Introduction to Essay Writing course. You can also book a consultation with a Learning Advisor to review your writing one on one. If you want to practice your speaking and listening skills, come along to the Speaking and Listening for English Language Learners workshops. For assistance dealing with cultural adjustment and transition, anxiety, worry, or stress, staff at the Student Care and UC Health Centre provide wonderful support. It’s ok to ask for help, it’s part of being a successful student.

www.canterbury.ac.nz/support

CANTA’S

BROKEN NEWS Clamped Skateboarder Says ‘What The Actual Fuck’

ocal first year student Connor Mackenzie is reeling after placing his skateboard against a water fountain and finding it clamped by UC Security. “Yeah nah, I just needed a drink, aye. Next thing you bloody know, I’ve faceplanted because of this clamp. Absolutely gutted mate. Gutted.” The new clamps, 10cm in diameter, are a “boon for UC Security revenue” according to an anonymous source on a golf cart. “We can pocket 30 of these bad boys, roam campus and target anything on wheels. Anything!” CANTA’s Broken News reporter has also spotted clamps on vending machines and a projector stand. Mackenzie’s mum has been brought in to ‘sort it the fuck out’.

Chilton’s ‘Late Night Fight Club’ Exposed

n a press statement released yesterday, the UCSA confirmed that all Chiltons staff were arrested, and consequently fired, after it was revealed a late-night fight club was hosted in the establishment. The fight syndicate was exposed after a student found a bloody tooth lodged in the top of his pie. Investigators concluded that the tooth came loose and landed in the pie after a

staff member received a solid ‘left-right-goodnight’ from a fellow employee and fight club member. The discovery of the fight club was hailed as a “breakthrough”, and police were pleased to have put an end to “a level of brutality never before seen in this country”.The student who discovered the tooth has been granted name-suppression after a judge concluded that he was “a total nark”.

Students Raise Questions about UCSA Presidential Candidate ‘Cod Rarr’

New UCSA Building Now Joining TinyHome Movement

Questions have been raised about one of this year’s Presidential Candidates for the UCSA, Cod Rarr. Rarr is a mature student who claims to have been heavily involved in the University for the past decade. Questions were first raised when someone noticed that his name was similar to that of the Vice-Chancellor, Rod Carr More questions followed a few days later when another student pointed out he even looked very similar to Carr, just with a moustache. Rumor has it that Carr, who finishes his term as Vice-Chancellor at the end of

The UCSA is forgoing current plans for its new UCSA Building and is joining the growing tiny-home movement. Plans to start dismantling the current construction site will begin next week. When asked about new architectural plans for the tiny UCSA building, a UCSA representative reassured that thorough plans had indeed been made.“I reckon we’ll just buy a caravan for the site” Said the representative. The new building, which is scheduled to open in early 2025, will use state of the art space-saving design and will be a home for Canterbury University’s 15,000 students. The space, bookable via a Google Drive link, is currently booked out until 2036.

the year, accidentally got the ViceChancellorship and was only ever going for the UCSA Presidency.

Fine Arts Quad Performance Dancers Now All Dead From Hypothermia Life support has now been turned off for the last surviving member of a UC interpretive dance group. The group first attracted attention earlier this year after performing an interpretive dance piece in the Matariki quad. Following the performance, all the dance members fell ill. “Lying on the cold concrete for prolonged periods of time while it was pouring down with rain probably didn’t help” Said a UC Health Centre Spokesperson

AK SF AT H T WS NE

Reboot According to Wikipedia, ReBoot is a Canadian CGIanimated action-adventure television series. Funnily enough a re-imagined, live-action/CG-animated series, ReBoot: The Guardian Code, was announced in 2015 and premiered on Netflix worldwide (excluding Canada) on March 30, 2018. Yes that’s right, it’s ReBoot’s reboot. I’m not a television reviewer though (and I’m barely a food reviewer) so this week I hit up UC’s cafe of the same name. Welcome to Ben Appetit, five minutes of your life you’ll never get back. This week, Reboot.

The $6 bacon, chicken, tomato strudel, $5.90 double chocolate donut, and $6.90 baked potato with chilli sauce, coriander, vegetables and sour cream for 70c extra.

Situated on the second floor (and ground floor?) of Erskine, Reboot has a menu you can also find at Cafe 101 including slices, danishes, curries, and coffees. There aren’t many places in Erskine where Reboot isn’t visible, but there’s a good amount of seating tucked considering its location among many classrooms, including the outdoor area nearby. For $19.50 I purchased a bacon, tomato, and chicken strudel, a double chocolate donut, and a baked potato.

Long story short it was a lot of food. The chicken, bacon, and tomato strudel was flavourful and had a good amount of meat for its price point. The tomato flavour was there, but thankfully wasn’t too overpowering. A nice amount of herbs and cheesy ricotta type filling too. The baked potato was brim-filled with vegetables, coriander, chilli sauce, all the fixings. While the thickness of the potato meant it was a touch colder than preferred, the 70c addition of sour cream made up for it in flavour. The double chocolate donut was filled with a chocolatey cream cheese ganache, and despite being a bit rich and intense was a great dessert to finish my Reboot trip. All up it was too much food to finish, which for me is a rarity. Reboot Cafe with its rotating message screens, fully stocked drinks fridge (that had aloe vera drinks, note to self) and food cabinet, and all day parking coupons on display.

I must note how Reboot is a great place for those with dietary requirements. Taped to the counter was a table explaining the menu’s halal, vegetarian, vegan, gluten and dairy free options, all with at least five options. A huge plus.

All up, I must dare to give reboot....

9 OUT OF 10 Bens

www.jaxfoodhax.com @jaxfoodhax

@jaxfoodhax

club promot PROFILING THE BEST CLUBS AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS

musoc MUSOC is the university’s Musical Theatre Society - we are an incorporated theatre company that puts on two major productions a year (RENT, Grease, Chicago - you name it, we’ve probably done it). We have opportunities for a range of people from all areas of campus - marketing, management, engineering, arts. Whether you want to be onstage or off, we’ll have something you can do. We also enjoy a night out away from the theatre and the highlight of this year’s social calendar is the annual (infamous) MUSOC ball. Friday 3 August marks the date of the The 2018 Golden Age Ball. Taking you back to the thick smoke and bright lights of Hollywood, the Golden Age Ball is a chance to doll yourself up, have a few drinks and dance the night away with live music from a variety of bands. It’ll be a night you wished you remembered (lucky for you, we take photos). Keen to come and see? Check out our Facebook Event at bit.ly/musocballFriday 3rd August, 7.30pm onwards | Busses from and to Foundry Tickets $45.00 | Strictly R18

gcc canterbury GCC Canterbury is a student-run club for UC students of all nationalities looking to engage in China’s emergence as a global economic power. Our Aim: We aim to inspire students to pursue China-related opportunities and help you succeed in a world increasingly connected to China. We offer the opportunity for you to develop a professional network and learn to apply the skills required to succeed in the global business world. What we do: We run various competitions and events throughout the year, with applications for our main competition of the year ‘Shanghai Shout’ opening on July 23rd. The 3 winners of the competition will have the opportunity to intern for either Fonterra, Tourism NZ or Westland Milk in Shanghai over the Summer, all expenses paid! For more info about GCC Visit: www.facebook.com/GCCCanterbury or www.gcccanterbury.co.nz

motosoc Do you love the smell of oil in the morning? Join Motosoc for some Top Fuel action in 2018! We run heaps of events each term including Trackdays (cheapest in the country!), Grasskhanas (closed track racing), Social Drives (cruise, yarn and a feed), motorbike adventures (dirt, road and moped shenanigans), 4wd trips and more. Our next major event is Cheap Car Challenge (28-30th September) where you modify a car you bought for less than $1k and push it to the limit. We hope to see you there! Did we mention we throw great parties? www.facebook.com/motosoc.uoc

oter

HEALTH SOC HealthSoc was established in 2017 as a supportive community for students of the Health Science degree. We offer social as well as academic support and are more than happy to listen to any ideas or issues you may have throughout your degree, or about your wellbeing in general. As a club we want to give Health Science students the encouragement to engage with university life and with other students studying Health Science! We have been busy this year with potluck dinners, movie nights and awesome giveaways and have a jam-packed quiz night coming up on the 1st of August. For news of upcoming events, health news, study tips, and plenty of positivity, follow HealthSoc Canterbury on Facebook and Instagram (don’t forget to sign up as well!) Love, HealthSoc

q canterbury QCanterbury’s primary mandate is to be a safe social place for sexuality and gender diverse students to meet. Essentially, we want to do our part to foster a welcoming and comfortable community on campus that supports and accepts students of all spiritual, cultural and identity-related backgrounds. We’re also committed to raising awareness in a variety of contexts regarding not only the visibility of different sexualities, gender identities, and romantic orientations but how each of these function alongside other aspects of our lives such as religion, culture or even family and work. We have a wide variety of events throughout each term of the year and every member is encouraged to get involved where possible, in whatever capacity they feel comfortable! OUR NEXT EVENT: Make sure to come along to QCanterbury’s annual LGBTQIA+ dance party at The Foundry! This is a night you don’t wanna miss with incredible music from our live DJ, drinks flowing from the on-site bar and fabulous drag queens thanks to our friends at Christchurch Pride! Details: 10th of August – 8PM – R18+ - $15 Tickets – The Foundry For more information head to facebook.com/qcanterbury

ucPSA I, Wasim Khan, the general secretary of newly born University of Canterbury Pakistani Student’s Association (UCPSA) on behalf of the executives and members of the club would like to introduce you about the idea behind UCPSA. The main concept to start UCPSA is to help the new Pakistani students in settling in at Christchurch as well as UC. In addition UCPSA would provide support to the students back home in getting postgraduate scholarships and admissions at UC. For UC students, UCPSA would be a platform to share the culture, food and festivals with international students from all over the world. We are excited to share the diversity of culture and food we have in our country. We hope UCPSA would be a vital addition to UCSA clubs family. Wasim Khan General Secretary University of Canterbury Pakistani Student’s Association (UCPSA) Wasim.khan@pg.canterbury.ac.nz Wasimkhan49@gmail. com+64220301944

HIGHER TASTE HIGHER TASTE – The Vegetarian Club This is our fifth year of existence and we provide a hot vegan lunch twice a week in the “Living Room” next to the University Book Shop. We employ a professional Indian cook, Kishore and $5 will get you a different curry and rice every time. Plus we have samosas, pakoras and vegan apple pies. A nice group of students from many countries attend. Tuesdays and Fridays 12 - 2 pm in term time. Bring your own plate/container & save a surcharge (can take away too). Free to join and we have a popular email list to advise on events, cheap places to shop etc. Peter Commandeur (pcom65@ yahoo.co.nz).Phone: 9261197

new zealand international

fTopi five l mfilmsftoe Watch s t ithis v aYear:l As a movie enthusiast and procrastination expert, it’s my duty to inform the masses about the up and coming New Zealand International Film Festival from August the 2nd - 19th. Or in other words, this is a really great way to get cultured and informed about the cinematic world around us that has the ability to inspire and bring joy into our lives and also this is just a great excuse to not do the things you should bedoing. . . It’s for Science™. Anyway, there is a wonderful amount of Films and genre out this year, by all means, see them all. However, if you only have time for one, or two, or five, here are my top recommendations for you.

BREATH, DIR. SIMON BAKER, 2017

‘Lords of Dogtown’ meets ‘Surfs Up’ in Simon Baker’s directional debut film. From Home and Away, to the Mentalist, Baker’s career has taken him from actor to director with his film adaptation of Tim Winton’s book of the same title. Set in a fictional town in Western Australia, it follows the themes of young boys who strive to find fun and adventure within their small-town lives. It expresses the strife of bored young teens that so often leads to competitions of courage, swagger, and recklessness. Two boys, Piklet (Coulter) and loonie (Spence), are taken under the wing of former professional surfer Sando (Baker) as their relationships grow, turn, and reveal the depths of emotion that comes with finding your strength as a young person. The perspective of surfing and surviving reflects the aspect of responsibility, choices and growing up when life is so ready to pull you under. If all these very relatable reasons to go see this movie do not interest you, at the very least, surfing is cool.

GIRL, DIR. LUKAS DHONT, 2018

If there’s any worthy coming-of-age films to see this year, Girl, has got to be one of them. The film follows the story of a transgender female training to become a classical dancer as her body changes throughout puberty and identity. Dhont, at the young age of only 27, seems to have captured the simple yet powerful struggle of growing up in a period of life that changes so drastically, and then adds an element of even more confusion and strife as Lara battles with herself and others in an attempt to be who she was born to be, and dreams to be. Her desire to reach the physical transformation of femininity, beauty, and grace is exemplified by her journey towards becoming a Ballerina. We, as a community should be proud of this one as we have just one more film to add to our ever changing and growing Film Industry. Representation, recognition, and true stories are something we need more of in our modern world as the LGBT community have been waiting too long for a story like this one to come out. And I’m looking forward to more.

MIRAI. DIR. HOSODA MAMORU, 2018

Anime, time travel, adventure, need I say more? Mirai no Mirai, or Mirai of the Future, entails a little sister who travels back in time to visit her older brother at his young age of around three or four. Although this is not studio Ghibli, it’s animation style is captivating and enigmatic in a way that can only be done justice through the art of Japanese story telling and principles. It’s seemingly a tale of mystery, jubilance, and wonder as Kun - Mirai’s brother - discovers and relays the love and hate that can only be shown through sibling relationships. As he lives through a period in his life where he no longer holds all his parent’s attention as he witnesses the joys and miseries of having a sibling to grow up and experience life with. If this is not a great and wholesome movie that you think you’ll enjoy, then I suggest you watch nothing, because this movie is only for those who are ready to be blessed.

CELIA, DIR. AMANDA MILLAR, 2018

Out of the few Female Directors featuring in this years NZIFF, Millar’s ‘Celia’ is one to look out for. It follows the heartbreaking and intimate tale of Celia Lashlie’s life within the short period of her being diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and her untimely passing just a two months later. Lashlie, New Zealands first Men’s prison officer turned Specialist Education Service transition manager, spoke about the importance on raising boys to become good men. At the time, her controversial messages saw her name rise in New Zealand media during the early 2000’s. Millar’s close friendship with Lashlie enabled her to capture the last days of Celia’s life and her final words. The devastating circumstance of her death excels the importance of her life, and the lives of everyone she spoke to. Celia is seemingly going to be a film that reminds you, life is fleeting, but it’s never to late to influence the world for the better.

OKO NA ROKI, DIR. MARTIN SAGADIN, 2018

Besides the fact that Martin comes from our very own University, he’s also such a unique and fun character - speaking from experience. Therefore, this is my most recommended Film for you to watch, as he portrays an experience of Christchurch from an iPhone. This film is bound to relate to you young’ins as the familiar format of phone videos or snapchat stories will inspire you to look into your inner artist. From what I understand, this film is not about anything in particular, but instead is a series of moments in which make up photo album-like visuals with a quiet and intimate score. Only one person in the world will ever comprehend the depth of emotion that this film could hold, and that’s the director himself as he melds his own memories into flashes of colour, smiles, interactions and scenes that we audience will never fully understand. It plays with the concept of memories, and moments that would forever be lost otherwise. It’s ‘experimental’ aspect gives you the freedom to feel and not think, to remember but not know from when, and to remind you to hold on to the precious moments that make our lives so special. But what it’s not, is a whole concert filmed in 10 second periods on snapchat. Seriously, stop doing that. FISI CARRASCO REX

@CANTAMAG

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Pro Pro Cable-Wakeboarding: Cable-Wakeboarding:

Tough Business “Making money out of wakeboarding is a challenge because it is not Olympic… yet” says Selina Hager, a 21-year-old cable-wakeboarder. Wakeboarding is a sport similar to snowboarding, except you are either being pulled along the surface of the water behind a boat or a cable while doing tricks or overcoming obstacles (similar to a fun park in snowboarding). New Zealand currently has four cable parks on the North Island and one private park on the South Island, which isn’t a lot compared to other countries. There are more than 140 cable parks in the world. There are 60 in Germany alone. Hager moved from Austria and moved to Christchurch in October 2017. Selina started wakeboarding because her dad signed her up for a wakeboard camp behind her back when she was 15 years old. “I wasn’t talented at all. It took me ages to even get up and go around the corners while others could already do jumps… but I didn’t give up. As soon as I could ride, I got addicted to this sport. I tried to spend every single minute I’ve had on my wakeboard.” Just like every sport, it might look easy but can be the complete opposite when you actually give it a shot. “I always tell the people I coach, if you can ride a board, doesn’t matter what, it will be easier for you. But one thing you should remember, never give up.”

In 2016 she also competed for her country Austria at the European and African Championships in Israel. “I literally went there, thinking just riding in the finals is the ultimate goal for me. I don’t know how but I ended up 4th and missed the 3rd place by just a few points.” After the Europeans, Selina went backpacking around the world and stopped for a month in New Zealand. “I was fascinated with the country. I remember crying on the plane to Fiji because I had to leave”. She returned after six months of traveling and worked as a wakeboard coach at her cable park while she held down two bar jobs. “2018 was a tough year for me. I’m now riding Open Ladies, which is everything above 20 years old, and some girls have been riding for more than 10 years without a winter break. I trained every day at least for two hours. We had three stops, and the one who won the most is the National Champs. I could have managed a win at the first one but ended up 3rd at the second stop, so I knew if I wanted the title in my first year of the Opens I had to win the last stop. I was working day and night and tried to fit in wakeboarding in any spare minute I had. I practiced my run a week before at my cable, where the last Corona Tour stop was. I managed to land everything so clean that I won with my first run and I managed a show for the crowd in my second. It was amazing.”

Selina already started competing in the year she started riding and ended up 4th at Nationals in 2012. The next year she already took the win for the category Junior Ladies (under 19 years). “With losing my first competing in my first competition, I got motivated to learn new tricks. It is always overcoming a fear. People always think that Wakeboarding doesn’t hurt but I can’t tell you how much concussion’s I’ve had. The surface can be pretty hard with 40 km/h speed, trust me haha”

She returned to New Zealand in October 2017 again and started working and studying in Christchurch. “It is hard for me to wakeboard here, so I surf a lot instead since we don’t have the sea back home. “

After winning the nationals 2013 she got into a contract with Roxy. They are giving her the material she needs to stay dry and warm during cold times in Austria. Selina won in total all the national champion titles in the category Junior Ladies from the year 2013 to 2016.

University of Canterbury had my back as well and gave me two weeks off to compete. I went there without practicing for eight months and ended up 12th.

Her dad is an important part of her life. “Without my dad, I would have never started this sport and be so good at it. He was her since the beginning and is my manager as well as my mental coach before the competition.”

In May 2018 Selina got an invitation from the Olympic Committee in Jordan to compete for Austria at the World Cup. “They paid everything and even offered prize money; something I couldn’t pass up.

After the World Cup, I have decided to take the year off wakeboarding and start competing in WWA (Wakeboard and Waterski Association) from next year, where you can actually make money out of it. I hope that someday this amazing watersport gets to the Olympics so you can make a living from it.”

VOTING TO ELECT A STUDENT EXECUTIVE IN THE UCSA ELECTIONS IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF STUDENT LIFE AT UC. The UCSA executive works hard to champion the cause of all students within the university, and implement initiatives for studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; benefit, and voting is part of your opportunity to make yourself heard and be part of the student community. Recent UCSA elections have seen a very high voter turnout, which is great to see and pretty unique among New Zealand universities. It suggests UC students care about who represents them, and the initiatives being put forward. I absolutely encourage students to take an interest in the election, and to vote. The larger the turnout, the stronger the mandate student leaders have to advocate on behalf of behalf of students within the university community. -Rod Carr

THE UCSA elections: STUDENT EXEC The Student Executive is made up of 13 members who represent you in a range of different areas. This is a really important part of the UCSA as it means you get to have a say in who you want to represent you.

WE HAVE 13 POSITIONS ON THE UCSA STUDENT EXEC. - PRESIDENT - VICE PRESIDENT - FINANCE OFFICER - EQUITY & WELLBEING REP - POST-GRAD REP - TE AKATOKI MAORI STUDENTSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ASSOCIATION REP AS WELL AS SIX GENERAL EXECUTIVE POSITIONS.

THE UCSA OVERSEE: over

140 student

SubsidiSed dental scheme

clubs AdvocacY

AND welfare

A fortnightly

CANTA magazine

services

Events like O-Week, Tea Party and Mono.

multiple food and beverage outlets on campus

21 A FEW WORD FROM CURRENT UCSA PRESIDENT JOSH PROCTOR It’s that time of the year again. UCSA elections. I know you all love it, and you’d be silly not to! Campus becomes all the more vibrant and that awkward 5 minutes of silence pre lecture is filled by a budding student trying to convince you to vote for them. But here’s my little take on why the UCSA is an awesome thing to get involved in. First of all, why did I run?

Each year, UC students get to vote in the UCSA elections for who they want to represent them. At University of Canterbury, we’re especially proud of the interest in the

Personally, I had been involved in the club scene as well as holding several leadership positions with the University and saw the UCSA as a platform to give back to all students, not just a small niche group. I had seen the cool things the UCSA were doing and believed there was more to add. I ran for Finance Officer, as I had a background in Economics and Finance and felt although that was where my skills aligned best. Everyone I had talked to who had or was involved in the UCSA had absolutely loved their time, and learnt a lot so I just thought, why not?

student elections

CAMPAIGNING

IN 2017, 45% OF YOU TURNED OUT TO VOTE.

Campaigning is fun. Made even better by the people you meet and those that support you. But I’m not going to lie, it’s bloody hard work! Putting yourself out there for all to see is pretty scary and quite a weird feeling. Suddenly people start noticing you around campus (This is a good sign… means your campaign is working) and before you know it the campaign period is over, and all that is left to do it wait. The scariest thing is putting yourself out there and the fear of failure. However, we’re very lucky here at UC, there is such a supportive, encouraging environment. People will never rip you out for trying, rather congratulate you for having a go.

That might not sound like a lot, but it’s the highest voter turnout for any students’

Nominations opened 25th July Nominations close 3rd August 12pm Candidates Briefing 6pm, Undercroft 101 Presidential debate 14 August 12pm - Undercroft common area Campaigning closes at midnight Voting opens 9am, 15 August Voting closes 5pm, 17 August Results announced 5.30pm, 17 August Current Executive finish, 31st December New Executive take office, 1st January 2019.

KE Y DAT ES

association of any university in Aotearoa.

Why’s the UCSA exec important The UCSA is recognised as the ‘Student Voice’ by the University. It is therefore of the upmost importance that we have various students that can represent the diverse campus we have. We also provide a range of services that need a student touch to keep relevant. Plus it’s a chance for you to develop some governance skills.

My life with crabs The headline really doesn’t apply to this article at all. I just thought it might grab your attention and if you have read this much, then it has worked. I actually want to share with you something rather important and fortunately for you it is not about my struggle with an STD. I want to talk politics, which is a topic with considerably less bumps and itching but occasionally a few parasites. In New Zealand we have one of the greatest and most established democratic systems in the world – yet another thing for us to gloat about to any international visitor. Although great, democracy is a strange beast; it requires love and a tender hand guiding it all the way. It is a bit like that child in your year 2 class that always shat their pants, but if you watch them carefully there will always be a few signs of distress, and if acted upon one will always have enough time to send them to the toilet before the rapid and violent poo-nami that will follow. Now, you are probably thinking to yourself, “that’s fucking ridiculous! How could you compare the political system that the Greeks designed to protect our unalienable rights to an incontinent child?!?!” Winston Churchill tried to explain this when saying, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.” He’s right, there are so many things that make democratiam (that’s Latin btw) great but there are always factors that can make it fail. Democracy can never be left to its own devices, if so it will – as mentioned above – shit its pants (explosively). In order for democracy to function correctly the public needs to keep those in power accountable. Now, you’ll shake in your boots with this next piece of information. Believe it or not, there is a very simple way of ensuring accountability and it is called VOTING. So, I’m sure some of you are aware that the UCSA has elections coming up (I can hear the yawns from here...) Cease your yawning, I say! Sure, there will be people running that you’ve never heard of and frankly you might not care. BUT you should care because the UCSA is responsible for a whole lot of what happens at UC.

INCLUDING: • Orientation, Re-oweek, Tea Party, and Grad Ball. • Mono Nights - you know, that thing on a Thursday night that sweaty people go to. • A number of student advocacy services • The health centre, discounted dental service and mental health support • Bike packs • Fruit and plant giveaways • They get right behind Pink Shirt day • The occasional free sausage and a ‘meat-free’ patty... Without the UCSA you would stay hungry until you cave in and buy a $24 pie from Chilton’s (They manage that too. As well as: Café 1894, The Wok, The Burg, The Greek, Nuts and Bolts, The Shilling Club, Bentley’s, and the Foundry). For goodness sake, they have the power to strip us of $2 rice! The UCSA took $2 noodles away from us; who’s to say our beloved rice is safe? I’m sure there are some I forgot to mention, but I’m writing this in my lunch break over my underwhelming leftover pasta... Don’t ever use John West tuna team. If you vote, you have the power to steer how a good portion of this university is managed. Take two minutes out of your valuable Facebook scrolling time – go on the UCSA website (you’ll be emailed the link as well) and make a few clicks. I thought I could end this with some sort of political joke but I’ve seen too many of them get elected. So yeah, fucking vote mate.

LIAM STRETCH

wellness watch WHY IS EVERYONE AT UNIVERSITY SO EXTROVERTED? There’s always someone. They’re charismatic, bubbly, outgoing, personable, fun-loving and light up the room. Society tells us people with these characteristics are better than the rest of us. You think they’re probably better than you. You can’t help but stare in admiration, and consider how you could be that loveable. The world we live in worships extroverted characteristics, and looks down on introverts. This is no new phenomena, and not unique to University. Although, while I’ve been here, I’ve become much more aware of our blatant preference for extroverted personalities. I’ve become really intrigued by this tendency to value particular characteristics over others. If you’re interested too, check out Susan Cain’s book “Quiet” or view her Ted talk on YouTube. It’ll really open your eyes to the diverse skills of people around us, and challenge how you view “successful” people. It’s coming up to UCSA election time, the biggest boast of personalities you’ll see while here at UC. I was fortunate enough to be a part of campaigning last year during my efforts to gain the role of Postgraduate Representative. Campaigning is a really great experience and you’re unlikely to experience anything similar. For me, it was also the most exhausting and challenging time. I’d describe myself as leaning more into introversion that extroversion (everyone is usually a mix, pure introverts/extroverts would be batshit crazy). I’d rather sit cosy by myself and read a book than chatter amongst large groups of people. The idea of networking and quietly mingling makes me feel so anxious. I probably don’t need to tell you how hard this made campaigning. And don’t even mention the constant voice in my head reminding I needed to persuade every person I met that I was the best. I don’t think my experience with UCSA campaigning is that unique. Everyone has been at a party, in a tutorial, in the library or a group project with at least one person who lights up the room with their confident and outgoing personality. I mean I’ve even had lecturers who seem 100x more outgoing than me. It’s really hard to not compare yourself to them. It’s hard to avoid wondering, “why am I not that captivating?” and consider trying to be a little louder, a little crazier, and a little more extroverted. If you’re really introverted, the idea of being louder, having more eyes on you is quite uncomfortable. And if over 50% of us are actually more introverted than extroverted, why is everyone so obsessed with being the most outgoing person in the room? And now with social media, it follows us home. So, in a world that seems to encourage being loud, how do those of us who hate to go above 10 decibels survive?

I’ve learnt to be confident in myself. I’ve become aware of myself. I know I’m not going to be the most outgoing or strongest personality in a room. Instead, I’ll be the one quietly internalising the problem to speak at the last instance with my carefully considered thoughts. I’ve learnt that while I love to sit with my thoughts in my head, I need to be confident to share them, because they’re worth sharing. Everyone’s ideas are. Socially, I don’t try to be louder than Sir Lovable standing on the coffee table with seemingly everyone laughing along to his great banter. I stick to one-on-one conversations with people, and sometimes, indulge in a hint of liquid courage to come out of my shell a bit. If you’ve related to every single #introvert problem in this piece, all I can say is embrace it. All thoughts, opinions and values should be valued. Don’t let yours be silenced. Just be happy with your strengths. Trying to have someone else’s only makes you a fake version of them. Which is totally lame. Emma

EMMA MCCONE

UC IS A FAIR TRADE UNIVERSITY, AND WE’RE CELEBRATING THIS FAIRTRADE FORTNIGHT!

JOIN UC SUSTAINABILITY AS WE CELEBRATE ALL THINGS FAIR TRADE WITH A SERIES OF TALKS, ACTIVITIES AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS DURING THIS YEAR’S FAIRTRADE FORTNIGHT! As a Fair Trade Accredited University, UC is proud to stand with Fair Trade producers and encourage ethical sourcing. We’re inviting you to celebrate Fairtrade Fortnight with us, from the 3rd – 16th August 2018. 3 August | Presentation and Q&A with Trade Aid NZ: What is Fair Trade? | 12pm -2pm | Puaka James-Hight 210 10 August | Ethical Fashion with Little Yellow Bird | 10am – 11am | Puaka James-Hight 210 10 August | Fair Trade Fair: Come and meet our Fair Trade suppliers at UC, and try some free Fair Trade goodies! | 12pm – 2pm | Undercroft 14 August | Film Screening: Black Gold | 5pm – 7pm | Undercroft 101 (with Fair Trade baking and hot chocolate!) Check out all the event details on UC Sustainability Community’s Facebook page! Want to be involved in volunteering for any of these events? Email sustainability@canterbury.ac.nz

The RDU gig guide THE BUTLERS – GREAT WIDE NEW ZEALAND WORLD TOUR LOCATION : BLUE SMOKE

26 JUL

2018

FARMERS IN THE BAHAMAS LOCATION : A&P SHOWGROUNDS

27 JUL

2018

RDU 98.5FM PRESENTS ROUND UP 2018 – HEAT 1

JED PARSONS ‘MIDNIGHT FEAST’ ALBUM RELEASE

LOCATION : ARCADIA

LOCATION : BLUE SMOKE

18 JUL

27 JUL

JUNAS ORCA/ SAM MILLTON/ GATHERINGS LANEWAY BBQ

THE SITUATIONS, BEST BETS AND COWBOY MACHINE

LOCATION : GATHERINGS RESTAURANT AND LIVING WINE BAR.

LOCATION : SPACE ACADEMY

2018

29 JUL

2018

28 JUL

2018

A FEW NOTES: Ask me about my Misfits shirt The Internet - Hive Mind I love The Internet, both the alternative R&B supergroup spawned from the ashes of the now-defunct Odd Future and the information superhighway, but the former particularly. Scions of the contemporary funk revival that started all the way back with Kendrick Lamar’s “To Pimp a Butterfly” in 2013, and after being bloody floored by “Ego Death”, I’ve yet to find a single track this lot have put out that has been anywhere remotely near disappointing. Every component works – Syd’s ghostly vocals and introspective lyricism, Steve Lacy’s oozing chords, Matt Martians masterful beat-work – gah! I’m figuratively drooling over my laptop as I write this. The point of this hyperbolic preface is that this lot is very, very good at what they do, and their latest release just further cements them as masters of their craft. “Hive Mind” manages to drop on to the metaphorical vibe couch in-between cosy and sassy, sporting a wobbly grin from the drink in their red solo cup, and good-naturedly trying to set the two up for a one-night stand. While each and every track is inarguably perfect chillout, you honestly try listening to “Come Over”, look me right in the eyes (yes, through the paper) and tell me you didn’t feel that riff on a sensual level, that one level that you’ll feel very awkward about feeling while listening to a song and subsequently ask your friends if it’s normal, only to get absolutely roasted in the group chat. While “Ego Death”, as good as it was, flirted with darker undertones and relationship woes, “Hive Mind” has nothing but a relaxed, groovy atmosphere. Hells, I’d use this album as a springboard to bring back the word “groovy” unironically.

Mommy Long Legs - Try Your Best Do you ever get tired of dudebros on the internet prattling on about how that female Ghostbusters means the feminists are taking over, even though it’s been, what, three years? Did you ever picture an antidote in the form of a totally energetic, intentionally cheesy shit-ripping riot-grrl foursome that sounds like a bunch of valley girls got woke off the SCUM Manifesto? Unfortunately, just as this debut was put out, the group announced they would be disbanding. Darn. Maybe that just makes this collection of glittery empowerment anthems a touch more special?

Jed Parsons - Midnight Feast If you stuck around on the recent RDU Super Freq fundraiser (unlike me, who ducked out when I had a sudden rush of self-conscious anxiety), you might have caught the absolutely noteworthy performance of 25-year-old Christchurch native and strummy wunderkind Jed Parsons, or, as I like to call him, “Jed Motherfucking Parsons”. The nickname is entirely well-intended, as Parsons is incredibly good when it comes to his particular brand of sunshiny indie pop, full of bouncy guitar and shimmy vocals. Perfect soundtrack for enjoying the 15° weather that we shouldn’t be having because it’s the middle of winter. LEWIS HOBAN

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

serphentwithfeet - Soil,

Kamasi Washington - The Choice,

Ty Segall and White Fence - Joy,

Calpurnia - Scout

88Rising - Head in the Clouds,

BALI, INDONESIA

UC, where’s your next adventure? Whether you’re more of a beach-bum, culture-creature or adrenalin-addict, STA Travel are here to tell you why Bali should be your next holiday destination. We caught up with Emma Tait, the manager of the new STA Travel store on campus, to get all the top tips on travelling our fave Indonesian island… FIRSTLY - AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - WHERE’S BEST FOR A DRINK? Well, that’s an easy one: The Laughing Buddha Bar in Ubud. After a day of roaming rice fields and pretending you’re not scared of monkeys, The Laughing Buddha is the perfect (and budget friendly) place to unwind with nightly cocktail specials, live music and Tapas. AND THE BEST FOOD? All of it. Seriously! From insta-worthy fruit platters and acai bowls to the mouthwatering nasi goreng and banana fritters, you won’t go hungry in Bali. My personal fave is Balinese chicken; what’s not to love about chicken thighs marinated in garlic, chillies, shallots, ginger and turmeric and then cooked to perfection?

AND FOR THE CAFFEINE ADDICTS AMONG US? Coffee lovers rejoice, Bali is home to the world’s weirdest (and most expensive) coffee. Kopi Luwak – also known as cat poo coffee or cat-poo-chino – is made from the faeces of the Luwak cat, which include part-digested coffee cherries. The faeces are then collected, washed, roasted and sold as Kopi Luwak. Yummy.

FINALLY, WHERE’S BEST FOR ADVENTURE? Easily the number one Balinese adventure is hiking up Mount Batur at 3am to reach the top for sunrise. Don’t be put off by the 3-hour hike and early morning (although maybe avoid the cocktails the night before), it’s most definitely worth it when you get to the top and are rewarded with a bacon and egg breakfast which is cooked on the heat of the volcano. Top tip: pack some peanuts for the mischievous monkeys you’ll meet along the journey.

WIN A THAI ISLAND HOPPING TRIP WITH STA TRAVEL AND CONTIKI All you have to do is scan the QR code (yep, the one just to the right) and the QR codes in the next three issues of Canta and you’ll go into the draw to win. Easy peasy. Terms and conditions apply. See online for details.

STA TRAVEL CANTERBURY UNI Undercroft 03 365 3399 canterburyuni@statravel.com

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Mental Health:: report card for Labour and National Two able students, Labour and National have different approaches to Mental Health. The learning outcomes of this achievement standard (RIP National Standards) are reflected in New Zealand’s mental health system. The students have been given authority over taxpayer funds and an army of civil servants. These report cards seek to advise parents of their children’s achievement in terms of delivering for the mental health of kiwis. The reports will detail each student’s work, give feedback on good points, and points to improve on for next time. Parents, I look forward to discussing your children’s learning outcomes in the upcoming parent-teacher interviews during the 2020 election. Student: 6th Labour Government Assignment: New Zealand’s Mental Health Date of assignment: 2017 - present Overall grade: C (Provisional) A late bloomer, Labour has only just begun it’s work on mental health, and the nation waits with anticipation to see how they tackle this issue. Let’s take a look at what they’ve done so far. • Set up a ministerial enquiry on New Zealand’s mental health system on 31st January 2018, costing $6 million. By

delegating the job of improving the mental health system, the government delays any significant action for nearly a whole year since they took office. Although in fairness, there is something to be said for getting experts to look at an issue as nuanced as mental health. However, it’s the followthrough that counts. • Announced eighty health professionals in Budget 2017 to provide mental health services in primary and intermediate schools in Christchurch, and earthquakeaffected areas including Kaikōura, for three years. • Promised $193m over three years to address mental health, in addition to $50m a year the announced in Budget 2017. It is unclear what these funds will go towards as yet. • Axed a pilot which would see mental health nurses attend incidents alongside police and paramedics on 111 emergency mental health calls calls. Police who are not trained in mental health currently spend around 280 hours a day responding to mental health calls. What the student has done well: Labour earns marks for it’s excellent communication skills, and for drawing attention to mental health in New Zealand. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s openness with talking about mental health, including

her own struggles with anxiety are highly compelling. Labour traditionally excels with winning hearts and minds, and has done so with mental health. It fills the nation with hope and expectation that what is to come will revolutionise the mental health system. An in-depth review of the system through a ministerial enquiry hopefully seeks to create lasting long-term improvements, which is also an intention to be commended. What the student could improve on: The problem with launching an enquiry, is that nothing happens until 31st October 2018. That’s over a year after Labour took power. That’s also just when the report comes out, only Parliamentary God knows when some form of tangible action will come out of it. In the meantime, the government is parking the mental health needs of thousands of kiwis who need action now. The enquiry is also expensive, $6m with no guaranteed benefit, and the government can do what it likes with the recommendations, even nothing. The devil will be in the detail. The government also needs to look at more immediate measures to improve outcomes for New Zealanders’ mental health needs in the short-term not just the long-term. Axing the pilot to have mental health nurses attend 111 mental health calls alongside police is also disappointing, as it affects people who

interact with emergency services, arguable those most in need right now. Uncertainty around how exactly they will reform the system, and a decision to axe the mental health emergency pilot, unfortunately lose marks. The ‘C’ grade is provisional, as we are only just approaching the end of the first year of their 3 year term. On the current trajectory, the government will see that Cs may get degrees, but they won’t get second term guarantees. Student: 5th National Government Assignment: New Zealand’s Mental Health Date of assignment: 2008 - 2017 Overall grade: B+ National had nine years in government to work on mental health. Picking up the country in a state of economic downturn following the Global Financial Crisis, National showed efforts to make the best of a less-than-ideal situation. Here’s what they’ve done: • Increased mental health funding by 18% from $1.1 billion to $1.4 billion in 2015/16. • Treated an extra 28,000 people per year in 2016. • Established the National Telehealth Service, which provides a platform for people to access health information, advice and support from trained health professionals. • Increased funding for the National Telehealth Service with $12 million over four years to help strengthen the response to people who reach out to social and community services. • Announced a new National Improvement Programme to drive further improvements in the quality and safety of mental health and addiction services. This programme was based on the successful

Scottish Patient Safety Programme. This covered 5 key areas: 1. Ensuring consistency of prescription medications for people with mental health conditions. 2. Improving the processes around transferring patients in and out of services. 3. Learning from serious adverse events and complaints. 4. Building on the ‘Equally Well’ programme which improves the overall physical health of people with mental health and addiction issues. 5. Continuing to minimise restrictive care. • Aligned health, justice, education, and welfare to promote mental health and do more to prevent mental illness arising. Used additional funding for mental health and addiction services will complement the other work being undertaken through the Social Investment Package. What the student has done well: The 5th National Government took an integrated approach to mental health during its term. The use of social investment to support mental health across a variety of government sectors earns great marks for National. Particularly in Budget 2016, mental health received a boost in funding (more than Labour gives it in 2017) and National also saw 20% more patients being treated in the 2016 year compared with 2015. National took pains to ensure consistency throughout the sector, and used success stories abroad to model advancements through the National Improvement Programme. The National government also attended to immediate mental health needs with the funding package in Budget 2016, while still acknowledging their work was not done. As then-Health Minister Dr Jonathan Coleman said; ‘There’s no doubt that more still needs to be done, and this Government is

committed to continuing this transformation journey.’ What the student could improve on: National was perhaps a case of too little, too late. As National’s Jami-Lee Ross put it; ‘we didn’t do enough, early enough.’ This can be reflected in the lion’s share of the mental health funding increases coming in at the tail end of nine years through Budget 2016. Some commentators have suggested it was patching up a problem with some cash before an election year. National also struggles with one of Labour’s greatest strengths, appealing to people’s hearts and minds. Being a party who specialises in the details, National sometimes forgets the importance of framing issues in a way that captures the public. As a result, a lot of the positive work they did in mental health was drowned out by Labour’s (newfound) talent for captivating voters. National can sometimes be seen as a bit of a cold operator who mostly focuses on managing the economy competently. What it needs to remember to push is that economic issues affect real people and improve lives, it’s not just about GDP and the ‘bottom line’. A well performing economy is not an end, it’s a means. Prudent levels of crown debt, and good economic conditions means there is money to provide vital funding to sectors like mental health. Improving people’s lives is the bottom line.

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2019 CONTIKI Europe UP TO 15% OFF! PEACHY.

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Become a barber and change the world About 3 years ago I was in desperate need of a barber. Birds had begun nesting in my beard. My head had become a nature reserve. And at the opportune moment, as if by divine providence, a friend shared a post on Facebook about a chap who’d just started a barbering business that week. He was doing hipster haircuts for just $20! I laughed manically to myself. “He’ll rue the day once he sees the ‘Woolly Mammoth of Ilam’ walk through his door!”When I first turned up to Benny for my cut he was working out of a kitted out brown Caravan, parked down his folks driveway. It was complete with an old school leather barbering chair, and for the brave, he even offered a cut-throat shaving service. Benny was in his early 20’s, a stocky black-bearded chap, wearing a brand new black apron with “Benny’s Barber Shop” emblazoned in white across it. He spent a few years being an apprentice carpenter, until he’d gotten sick of the early starts, and decided to head to Auckland to learn the art of cutting follicles. And now he was back in Quaketown to earn his chops with his own business. He did an OK haircut that first time – but more importantly - we got on like a house on fire. And I found his ambition and vision for barbering a pretty exciting energy to be around. Even back then he was constantly talking about his plans to take over the world, one cut at a time. Over the months since that first trim – I’ve kept getting my hair cut by Benny. And over those years his business has grown rapidly (as has his haircutting skills, I might add!) It’s been amazing to watch, as he started training and employing fresh young barbers, and then quickly expanded from one caravan, into a second, and then building a little shed next to that second

caravan, and then opening a branch in a new suburb, and then a second branch in a clothing shop. He started a clothing line, and has become famous for cutting almost every NZ rugby teams hair at some point before a big match. Benny’s one of these guys who has a massive dream and a crazy work ethic. But if all Benny wanted to do with his life was to grow a haircutting empire so he could get rich, then I don’t think I’d be wasting my time writing about him in Canta. But Benny’s vision is different from your average barber. You see – he has this conviction that business can be used to make the world a better place. And what he REALLY wants to do, is to use all this time his people spend with these hundreds of people getting haircuts every week to begin addressing the epidemics of loneliness and mental health we see amongst our men in Aotearoa. “When people come here I want them to feel like this is a safe space for them to be. You know, people tell barbers things that they tell almost no one else in their life. It’s like people drop their guard when they sit in this chair... sure some people just talk crap... but within minutes most people are telling us about their relationship problems, their mental health problems, the things that keep them up at night. And I think barbering is this huge opportunity to help transform people - inside and out.” A few months back, after months of hard work, Benny finally opened his magum opus – a giant warehouse Head Quarters in Sydenham, at 105 Disraeli Street (bennysbarbershop. co.nz). He rented our a huge warehouse next to an antique shop, wheeled in his caravans and welded in his shipping containers, set up a café and basket ball hoop – and since then the place has been literally buzzing with people.

“They come in here and instantly just love the vibe of the place. They can tell we’re about more than just haircuts”. Just last week he commissioned a graffiti artist to paint a huge “It’s not weak to ask for help” on walls, after he was inspired from one conversation he had with a customer. “Some of the stories we hear while cutting can be pretty sad. I just want to do something... anything, to help people who feel hopeless. I want this warehouse to be a place of hope for people.”Become a barber and change the world. Who would have thought haircuts could be so transformational? It’s makes me wonder how could the rest of us could use our degrees and opportunities to change the world in some unexpected way. Well On Thursday 26th of July Benny is going to be joining me at the UCSA’s Winter Wellness event in the Undercroft for a special “Get Cut with the Chaplain” session. His crew will be giving free haircuts and offering good chats. So if you’re looking bushy - keep an eye out for us! spanky.moore@canterbury.ac.nz SPANKY MOORE

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THE F WORD: One of the things I noticed the first time Hillary Clinton ran for president was the inordinate amount of time people spent critiquing her physical appearance. To this day I loathe the word “pantsuit.” Male political candidates around the world come in all shapes and sizes. Some are plump, some have weak chins, some have bad spray tans and obvious combovers. No one argues that this affects their ability to run for office. It simply isn’t a relevant issue. The second time Hillary ran for president the focus shifted from her looks to her electronic communications. While Trump was vocally racist, Islamophobic and pro-pussy grabbing, all of that paled in comparison to Hillary’s emails. While Hillary was “crooked,” the man who scammed people through his fake university, funneled $258,000 from his charity to his legal defence, mocked a disabled person and declared bankruptcy on several occasions was a hero for “telling it like it is.” Although both Trump’s son-in-law and his former BFF James Comey misused their email servers, criticizing this practice

has mysteriously fallen out of fashion. Here at home we have witnessed the spectacle of hand wringing over Jacinda Ardern’s pregnancy. Many wondered how she could run a country while having a tenanted and recently vacated womb. Others marvelled at her lack of consideration for Mark Richardson’s poor nerves (and by “others” I mean Mark Richardson). The fact is this: women are still scrutinized differently than men. If you’re up for some psychological fun, try posting comments on a popular website using a stereotypical female name and then switching to a stereotypical male one. Like me, you’ll probably discover that as a “male” commenter you’re granted an enormous amount of credibility. As a female commenter your knowledge and personal experiences are meaningless. You will be quickly spotted, corrected and dismissed. Such fun! Recently, I wrote an editorial for an online magazine. My story linked to another one written by a male academic on the same subject. A few days after publication, the editor forwarded me a letter she had received from a

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Heels “concerned reader.” He turned out to be a fellow UC student who was upset because I hadn’t named my confidential sources. Interestingly, he was completely fine with the male academic making the same arguments without naming names. Some years ago, while serving in the United States military, I had the pleasure of interviewing the first African American man to be promoted to the rank of Admiral in the Coast Guard. I asked if he could relate to how difficult it had been for women to gain acceptance in the armed forces. He said in his view women had it worse because, even though he was a person of colour, he was still a man. Standing for an election carries all sorts of challenges— raising money to fund the campaign, connecting with strangers, making public speeches and, apparently, having your qualifications questioned if you have an XX chromosome.

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Running

A D V E N T U R E S F T S O U T H . C O M

ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH

In Brief Mt Fyffe is a walk up one of the most prominent mountains near Kaikoura with easy access. It can be done as a day walk or an overnight trek. It is not a hike to be missed if you are in the Kaikoura region. In winter the walk offers spectacular views of the snowy mountains out to the west. It’s like New Zealand’s little Nepal.

In Detail

THE ACCOMMODATION

THE LOCATION

The drive began from Christchurch following the inland route to Kaikoura. This route proved to be a long drive. The road was rough in places, but the coastal route had limited access at the time of walking leading to the start of a long farmer’s road. is signposted and can

THE JOURNEY

due to earthquake damage. The road the track, just out of Kaikoura, follows It is not marked on Google Maps but be navigated using a topo map.

The track is wide and very easy to follow. It’s not technical, rather steep and requires a granny gear to climb, starting right from the carpark. Bush surrounds the track until you reach an altitude of 560m where you arrive at a clearing with views out to mountains south of Kaikoura. This spot is the perfect place to take a breather, rehydrate and grab something to eat. Seats are positioned along the track, ideally positioned for a quick rest with a view.. As you climb higher there is a point where you look west and see the snow-capped Seaward Kaikoura Range.

The sight of Mt Fyffe Hut is a relief. The hut sits elegantly above the Kaikoura peninsula in the east and towering Kaikoura Ranges in the west. It is well catered; there is a small alcove to leave boots and any dirty gear, 8 bunks, and a fireplace to keep you warm. It brings a sense of calmness, looking out the window to see the city lights of Kaikoura glimmer in the night.

THE FINAL ASCENT

The climb from the hut had us skidding on snow soon after we left. It was icy in the shadow of the trees and had us kicking steps right the way to the summit. There were patches in the trees where you could peek out and see beautiful views of the ocean. There is a spot at 1280m that has an incredible view, definitely a good photo opportunity. Getting onto the final ridge nearing the summit of Mt Fyffe, there was tree cover from a hedge. This ridge is quite exposed and could prove difficult in high winds. Reaching the summit of Mt Fyffe is rewarding, and the views that greet you at the top make it all worth it. It is cold, so make sure you do take extra food and warm clothes for this part of the walk.

35 On top of Mt Fyffe there are a couple of benches where you can sit and admire the view. It was cold. With a strong wind blowing in our faces, it wasn’t long before we headed back down. If you are staying at the hut and you have some time, pick up a few branches that are around in the pine forest and store it inside the hut. Every little bit of wood helps when you are up here in the winter. Later, we cleaned the hut and made our way back down to the car.

The Debrief All in all, it was a trip with incredible views. It could be done as a day trip for the fit and energetic kind, however, if you are travelling from further afield Mt Fyffe hut provides an easy night’s accommodation. The views right the way up to the top of Mt Fyffe are so incredible in beautiful weather conditions. It is really cold up in the mountains so make sure to pack plenty of warm gear if you do attempt this in the winter months. It is best to do in good weather, as the mountain is exposed in places. If you’re a mountain climber this is definitely one to add to the bucket list.

Being such a steep climb the descent took it out on our legs, our knees suffering the most. The time taken to get down was much less than that taken to climb. Although it was easier to take in the views as we were walking down, I think we were keener on a warm shower. Attempting this in winter meant shorter days. By the time we were close to the car it would have been around 4 pm and be getting dark.

NATHAN JAMES

A D V E N T U R E S F T S O U T H . C O M

THE RETURN

Lucky The Shilling Club Presents

One Side:

I finally got my chance at a blind date in CANTA. What transpired was a really terrible hour and a bit with the worst fucking human I’ve encountered at UC. Sorry my guy, I know you’re reading this. Stop now if you don’t want your feelings hurt. Buckle in, readers. I was late, but not late enough to be an asshole. Just enough to seem like I was relaxed. I was in fact, the opposite. I am a confident person but blind dates would make anyone nervous. Who goes on a blind date these days? He was cute enough. Not tall but tall enough. Nice face. Seemed like he’d have a good sense of humour. The first thing he said when I sat down was a comment on my cracked phone screen. Good one. I’m already wanting to leave. At least I’d never seen him on Tinder. We made awkward small talk, but the absolute kicker for me was when he sneezed, had a snot bubble and then lunged for my serviette in a panic. I’m no longer going anywhere near your face, mate. That was disgusting, and also not efficiently cleaned up. I had to keep solid eye contact to avoid the drying boogers. I hope my eye contact didn’t make me appear keen. Not on your life mate. I powered on, pissed off that I’d wasted a full face of makeup on this idiot, and decided to ask him about his involvement on campus. He was vague about everything, waving his hands and speaking with his mouth full (nope) about how he’s all over campus, knowing key people. Zzzzz. The general consensus was that although not part of the club, he admired KAOS. Not that you had any chance but that sealed the deal for me. No issue with the club but I definitely am a pacifist. I’m also a grown adult.

I tried to talk about a few things but kept being cut off with his anecdotes about how he did something similar, or better, or how he disagreed. You fucking level 9 virgin. Shut up and let a girl talk! I kept using the international signs of a bad date; “Man, I’m so tired! Yawn.” “I really should go soon”. Each time, it was met with a blank stare. He really didn’t get it. I was blatantly scrolling Instagram in the last 20 minutes while he picked at his wedges (that’s another thing; you added wedges AS WELL AS your meal? Chill). Speaking of his stare, his one redeeming feature was crystal blue eyes. On anyone else I’d consider this a check in the ‘panties off’ box. I got the vibe that he was under the impression that this date meant he had a free ticket to whatever comes after dinner. You’re not even getting a high five, mate. Five awkward minutes of him trying to weasel the last of the Lucky Dip vouchers out of the bar staff (wtf?!?!) and I swiftly walked out into Undercroft as he left towards Matariki. I would have said I had explosive shits if he followed me. I was THAT ready to get the fuck away from him. Don’t call me, I’ll… never call you. If I see you on campus, I will pretend we never had this interaction. I will deny you at every turn. Go fuck your Anime body pillow. I really feel for her.

Dip The Other Side:

So after months and months of nagging from my flatmates I finally put my name forward for a blind date. I was pretty nervous, my score rate wasn’t very high. Other than the occasional post-mono adventure, my romantic life was about as active as a grumpy nun’s. However I bit the bullet, put on my best party shirt, wiped my shoes, and went on the date. I got there and pretty quickly figured out that I had arrived first. I sat waiting nervously for a few minutes until she arrived, I stood up and awkwardly shook her hand. I made some half-witty comment to break the ice, I can’t remember if it worked or not. The whole time we were making small talk I was trying to ignore the fact I had an itchy nose, but then suddenly I did the most unholy sneeze. It was massive, like a total nose-splosion. It was one of those sneezes that leaves your whole body aching, like someone had punched me in the stomach, except their fist went through my bellybutton and rammed out my nose.

Startled, my date jumped backwards in her chair, probably doused in a wave of saliva and snot particles. I had sort of managed to get a hand to my face, but it was only after I had collected myself and my eyes had refocussed that I actually bothered to look at them. There

were boogers. Everywhere. I could see there was still a snot bubble glued to the side of my nose. Flustered, I dived for a serviette on the table knocking the knife on the floor. I had to steal her serviette too, and still had to get up and grab a third to wipe up all the debris. It was at this point that I realised the date was effectively over before it started. I could feel snot crusted up under my nose and I was stumbling over my words. Thankfully we started talking about out hobbies and I started to get my mojo back. We got lost in conversation for a while and there was heaps of food going around, it was great. We really connected, and had similar interests. As the date started to wind down, I wanted to get in some final laughs to leave a good impression. Fortunately, was there was about $8 left on the vouchers, which is basically 2 free small coffees, so I thought she’d find it funny if I asked for the leftover money on a new voucher. The guy behind the counter looked annoyed and said no, but she found it hilarious. I think we both wanted the date to carry on but unfortunately she was pretty tired, I could tell. But we talked, I got her number, and I reckon there’s a second date on the cards. Look out for Blind Date part 2.

happy ending

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HOROSCOPES FOR 30 july

IS MAROON JUST NAVY RED....?

You will forge an alliance with a blonde woman. After you buck you’ll realise she’s your Aunt

Lad culture will be the death of you.

Sorry, we don’t write the rules, but if you can read this you’re a gay.

You wouldn’t steal a car, you wouldn’t steal a house, you wouldn’t steal a child; so adopt instead.

Your aura has depleted. Avoid wifi, microwaves, and other radio signals over the next two weeks. Remember this day and apply again next year.

If you wake at night and see them, don’t panic. You can’t move anyway. They’re there to help. Let them.

Your friend is stealing from you. Now is your window of opportunity to confront them; demand, on pain of death, that they give up your belongings.

Expect things to have seemed like something you wished you had anticipated.

The Souvlaki man is sending out good vibrations. Be close to him to be bathed in his aura.

Get your OE the cheap way, it’s time to binge the Amazing Race

Sometimes life seems difficult to navigate and impossible to survive. It is, you can’t live forever.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Astrology. The insight is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of the stars most of the signs will go over a typical plebeian’s head. So please, all the Pisces’, stop the hate mail.

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