CANTA #9 2019 by UCSA

Editorial Hello! Welcome to the Nostalgia issue of CANTA, also featuring your nominated 2020 UCSA exec. On Nostalgia: Life is zooming ever quickly along, and the end of the uni year is somehow inching increasingly closer to the present moment...I realised the other day, I officially have only 16 days left of lectures until I’ve finished the four-year uphill struggle that is the LLB (I am stoked !!!). On the note of time flying by, every now and again, it is quite nice to reflect. To reflect on times been and gone, and to look back – not to get stuck dwelling on the past - but to see just how far you’ve come. I’ve found that as we grow older, life seemingly gets more complicated. We all think more, stress more, feel more, and it’s easy to lose sight of perspective. When I look back, I remember being a lil girl who just wanted to play, sing, dance and eat tasty food. Honestly, not much has changed, yet I, more often than not, find myself pulled from the present moment, worrying about the future, and stressing over little things. So, here’s a little reminder on life to myself and to you – life is actually very simple. At the end of each day, all that matters is that you’ve tried your best, been yourself, shared your happy and told the people you love, that you love them. On Elections: Although it seems like you never see the newly elected UCSA exec, after they’ve put their smiling faces on signs all over campus...they really are working hard trying to make the student life a little more fun and a little easier. A lot of their work is done behind the scenes. We are also incredibly lucky to be able to vote – not just in these elections, but the local council elections and the nation-wide elections... this is something we should not take for granted. All we have to do is tick a box online, while in many places around the world, young people are literally sacrificing their lives to fight for democracy. So, on that note, why not go out and vote? Til next time! Love, Sam

Presidents piece - CANTA Term 3, #3 Kia ora friends, We are chugging through Term 3 and it’s that time of year again. If it’s your first year at UC, you’ll be wondering all the billboards and banners around campus are for. Every year, UC students get the opportunity to vote for who they want to represent them. Many decisions get made around UC from academic decisions around courses, support services available to students and UCSA-specific decisions around clubs, events, food, advocacy and welfare. Getting elected onto the UCSA gives you the opportunity to add the student voice into these areas. Voting begins this Wednesday and runs until Friday so make sure you find the link delivered to your emails and select the candidates you want to represent you. There are twelve elected positions on the student executive and you’re able to select one candidate per position. We’re pretty proud of the fact we have the highest voter turnout of any student association in Australaisia (42% in 2018) so make sure you vote and have your say. Happy voting! Arohanui, Sam

Letters to the Editor

Creative Highlight

News

13 Going on 30

Disney Movies Point Counter Point

Toy Story 1 to 4 Review

Columns

Club Promoter

Flat Famous- - The Virgin Flat

Gig Guide

Your Weekly Adventure Series

Lucky Dip

Happy Ending

2019 UCSA Exec Elections Handbook

Sam Mythen Conor Jones Ben O'Connell Liam Stretch Samuel Bull Robert Brownlee Grace Hamilton Harry FR Robson Spanky Moore

Abby Robertson Kane Bassett Lewis Hoban Ella Somers Henry Foubister Java Katzur Megan Nellis Bianca Parshotam Ricky Townsend

Pim van Duin Archer McLeay Nic Wilson Sarah Eynon Elisabeth Minten Crosby Allen-Jennings Seth Murray Nick Kennedy

Letters to the Editor Letter of the Week Dear Ed,

Dear Omnivore friend,

I noticed in your most recent issue, on ‘Our Environment,’ there was a lot of enthusiasm and encouragement towards veganism and vegetarianism...I think the point that Vegetarians only reduce 0.8t of C02 emissions relative to omnivores is important to note. We’ve got to look at the science behind what we eat as well.

Fair point! I know some of my friends whom are vegan, have also expressed concerns about whether their reliance on things such as soy products, and fruit flown to New Zealand from the other side of the world, is environmentally friendly. More research and conversation definetly needs to happen when discussing whether the vegan/vegetarian diet is the best for our health and our environment. If you’d like to write a piece about this for an issue of CANTA, send me your pitch! At the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is that if we all cut down on meat a little bit, and balance what we eat – it all counts.

Cheers, A happy meat-eater, also wanting to save the world

Best, Sam Hi there,

Kia ora,

Hi Canta,

I have short legs. When I need to walk around though, I manage. I like to do things efficiently too. I have a diary and everything. So, with my passion for walking and efficiency in tow, why the HELL aren’t there just even a SMALL SET OF STAIRS DOWN THE OTHER END OF THE GOD-DAMN UNDERCROFT???? IT IS SO INEFFICIENT. FIX THIS GOD-DAMN ARCHITECTURAL FLAW.

I’ve noticed a lack of discussion within Canta surrounding the situation happening right now in Ihumātao. I’d love to know more about this – I’m sure there are UC students effected by it that would love some media coverage about the situation.

Would it be acceptable to ask the librarians to come kick people off the silent floors for eating with their mouths open?

Kind regards, Walking on Eggshells

A really good question – thank you so much for asking! It is definitely a really important issue to discuss. Check out the News section! One of our rad news reporters has written about the situation, providing some background to the matter as well. For any students interested in helping out with Ihumātao, check out the website: protectihumatao.com...learn about the issue, talk about it with your friends and family, make a donation to help provide food for the protestors on site.

Hey friend, You know what, I’ve also pondered over that weird architectural slip up. It doesn’t quite make sense and is simply a lil bit dumb. Alas, I’d like to think there’s bigger issues out there within the uni which would better benefit from an input of funds to be fixed than this mishap. Maybe just think of it as extra exercise? I’d definitely recommend walking around outside of the Undercroft too. It's super lovely to get some fresh air after being stuck in class or the library all day.

Kia pai tō rā

Sincerely, Asking for a friend. Hello!

Hey there,

Hmm first of all - I'd say it depends... are they eating silently with their mouths open, or are they eating something super noisily with their mouth open as well? If it’s the later, you could definitely ask a librarian to mention it to them. Or you could approach them yourself and kindly mention their crunching sounds are echoing across the silent floor – I'm sure they’d appreciate being let know. Hope that helps! Sam

All the best, Sam

Your, editor. ~ Share your views by sending a letter to editor@canta.co.nz - Letter of the Week wins a 50$ Bush Inn Voucher! ~ A MINIMUM OF 10% OFF ALL STORE OFFERINGS AT BUSH INN CENTRE, FOR ALL STUDENTS AND STAFF. Produce your university ID to obtain the discounts

late

Deja Vu By Sarah Eynon Hits like brick along lifeless roads Hazy is the complexion, Harsh as a headache.  I’ve been here before. Not in mind, but in the body.  As though my spirit escaped, to leave me behind for a day.  Deja Vu, you might dare say.  Words don't describe dissociation while staring out to sea Rippling through my veins, blood runs dark and grey  Such as the ocean in her eyes. Way back when I was only a child.  When I was here before. That time I was not alone.  Aching for the company, as familiar as the stones beneath my feet,  And the dulled sun defying the preconceived belief of the trickling silverlined sky.  The street stretches miles beyond eyes view Flickering, indescribable, ominous glare.  The source still unsure. Uncertain, such as this dream.  Deja Vu of the body, not same said for the mind And less clear it becomes, over time. ~ When Responding By Elisabeth Minten Face covered in sweat And regret Wishing for someone else to put up a hand instead If I never came, No one would notice my absence Now EVERYONE knows my presence The words slip away very bad I sound absolutely mad I was a fool that thought itself mature With grandiose ideas of the future Yet my argument lacked all structure Feel like a failure Would you like your poetry or creative writing to be featured here? Send your work into editor@canta.co.n

NEWS A Li ttl e B it of Pr e - Re f e re nd u m H ist o r y After many years of French Prime Minister, Charles de Gaulle, rejecting their admission into the European Economic Community (which became the European Union in 1992), the United Kingdom finally got accepted to join in 1973. Yet, in 2016 they voted to leave the EU. So, what happened? This article is a basic rundown of those events, and a short analysis of soft v hard Brexit. Joining the EEC signalled the UK had new priorities. It was finally leaving its colonial Empire behind, and was placing local and European affairs at the centre of its new priorities. During the 1990s, they decided against joining what had then became the European Union. Instead they signed the Good Friday accords. These accords signalled the end of the troubles where armed groups in Northern Ireland were fighting each other. During this period, there were terrorist attacks, and the British military was deployed.  After that, a large portion of Eastern and Central Europe nations joined the EU.  Due to their newfound freedom of movement, a large amount of Eastern European immigrants moved to the UK to get better paying jobs. The influx of immigrants would have a large effect on the Brexit referendum.  In 2015, two major events would occur. Firstly, the Scottish Independence Referendum went for a vote of ‘no,’ 55-45. The second was that the Conservatives would win an absolute majority in parliament, with one of their main priorities being the Brexit

referendum. Although the PM, David Cameron, reluctantly campaigned for remaining, leaving the EU attained the most votes in the referendum. This led to the fall of David Cameron, as he resigned after the result, and after a Tory party leadership contest, Theresa May won the vote and became the PM. She started out by beginning Brexit proceedings, then held an election, in which the Conservatives lost their absolute majority, but retained her majority. She then continued the Brexit proceedings, and had a deal voted on in Parliament multiple times throughout 2019 thus far. However, she lost all times, and became the second British prime minister to fall, although with less grievous errors than Cameron. The Tories (Conservatives) voted on a new PM, who is that Boris Johnson chap you’ve been hearing about in the news recently.  A soft Brexit is one in which Britain maintains free trade, free movement and generally good relations with the EU. It’s the Brexit equivalent of let’s remain friends after a break-up. A hard Brexit is one in which, although there may be an agreement, there is no free trade or free movement. Basically, a hard and nasty split. This type of no-deal Brexit, would be like waking up to realise your partner has left you, ran away and joined the circus.  And that is my guide to Brexit! Hope it helps in some way Samuel Bull

The Oranga Tamariki Child Uplift The Oranga Tamariki controversy lies at the confluence between the hot-potato issues of human rights, governmental power, and prejudice. In this controversy arising, a number of core social issues have been uprooted. Overstretched and under-resourced social workers, forced to make ‘impossible’ choices that will decisively affect many young people’s lives. Entrenched and cyclical abuse, embedded and veiled in our community. Culture clash between public authorities and family members who desire to preserve their culture and identity. The ability to ‘uplift’ a child (an Orwellian euphemism if there ever was one) is essentially legally authorised kidnapping. Of course, however repugnant this may seem in principle, in practicality, this may be the only option in exceptional circumstances. It is then the criteria that is used to justify the ‘uplifting’ of a child that becomes the flashpoint for controversy. The case that ignited the controversy which led to the mainstream media discussion of child uplifting was a forty-five minute documentary produced by Newsroom. The documentary details the torrid details, and ordeal, for both sides, of the uplifting a baby from a mother’s arms. Numerous actions taken by Oranga Tamariki have raised serious questions about the procedure and authority with which social workers operate. They described the father as unwilling to take the methamphetamine test, yet did not mention the exculpatory reasons why the father could not take said test1. The legal argument of the social workers was solely based upon the notes of the mother’s previous case worker, which were said to be littered with “assumptions.”2 Numerous credible figures, including the qualified midwives looking after the mother and her baby, and leading Maori community members such as Des Ratima, vouched for the defense to the social workers. On the face of it, there was certainly no evidence to suggest any imminent threat of harm to the baby. The mother had no previous criminal or drug or disciplinary history of any kind at all. Yet Oranga Tamariki workers harassed the mother whose baby was only days old until 2 a.m. in the morning3. They waited for the family and midwives to leave, after informing them they could go home and get some rest because further action would be paused4,

before surrounding the evidently traumatised mother, alone, and pressuring her for hours to surrender her baby. In multiple instances, Oranga Tamariki workers outright breached their own set protocols, and the legal processes outlined by the Oranga Tamariki Act itself, in their zealous pursuit of abducting the baby5. This most egregiously included seemingly actively misinforming the judge of the case (through memorandum during secret proceedings) that the baby had already been removed from the custody of the mother, when this was manifestly not the case to all familiar with the situation. The mother’s lawyers emergency application for a stay of action regarding the baby’s attempted removal was thereby seriously undermined as the judge would have likely seen this request as no longer necessary and thus not considered it. If the judge had been duly informed, an entirely different series of events may have occurred. In addition, Oranga Tamariki workers applied for, then took four days to act upon, an emergency Family Court order that gave them the ability to uplift the child without notice; effectively violating the spirit with which those exceptional authoritative powers are meant to be utilised. Furthermore, these critical court proceedings occurred without having the mother and her family’s side present their case in Family Court6. Essentially, this was a textbook case of social workers engaged in deeply unethical practices to remove a child from a vulnerable family based on unconvincing evidence and seemingly racist motives. Harry FR Robson

Activism at Ihumātao Peaceful protests and occupation have erupted at Ihumātao, an area of land historically owned by iwi in South Auckland. Chiefly led by SOUL (Save Our Unique Land), an organisation dedicated to “protect and conserve the whenua (land) at Ihumātao,” the protests have recently succeeded in halting further development on the site.The overall aim is to return the ownership of Ihumātao from Fletchers Construction to Te Kawerau ā Maki (the local iwi). The Ardern Government has been “heavily criticised for refusing to cooperate with the protest organisers and mana whenua.” Prime Minister Ardern has continued the orthodox approach adopted by her predecessors in unconditionally opposing efforts by iwi activists in their claims against the Crown. This has been justified under the guise that Ihumātao is an internal iwi matter. Employment Minister Willie Jackson travelled to Ihumātao to allay protesters’ concerns about the lack of Government support but also expressed his own concern about the potential “precedent” that would be created by essentially the protesters winning out the dispute. Fletchers Construction has made an unprecedented promise (by a private owner) to return a quarter of the disputed land to iwi ownership. In 2018, the Environment Court “found the company was providing a higher level of protection for the area than was required.”

Māori are said to have first settled and cultivated vegetation at Ihumātao in the 14th Century. Ihumātao was stolen by the Crown in 1863 before being sold onto the Wallace family in 1869 who retained ownership over it for over a century. In 2012, after a legal challenge, the Environment Court ordered the Auckland City Council to scrap their plans for Ihumātao as a “public, open space” and instead it “be developed for business or residential purposes”. In 2014, a Deed of Settlement was signed between the Crown and Te Kawerau ā Maki. In 2016, the land was sold to Fletcher Construction by official representatives of Te Kawerau ā Maki and the Auckland City Council. Occupation of the site began in November 2016. Fletcher Construction argues it has “been through the Waitangi Tribunal, the Māori Land Court and the Environment Court - as well as the normal consenting process.” They have also stated they are open to selling the disputed land. In 2017, an United Nations report found a breach of the Declaration of the Rights of Indigenous People because proper consultation and consent had not been engaged in with Māori. Harry FR Robson & Grace Hamilton

The 1ast Word on

When life gave us lemons, we gave life a twelve lemon, dining table centre piece. When life gave us ink and parchment, we gave life religion and 5000 years of misinformation. Of course, when life presented us with social media, we in return, gave life memes. And in typical human form, we over evolved and for some reason beyond meaning itself, we gave life, private meme Instagram accounts. Some have described and defined the meme as the peak of humanities creative comedic ability, others merely calling it a picture with words. The official definition comes via a very reputable source, Wikipedia, stating “A meme is an idea, behaviour, or style that spreads from person to

person within a culture, often with the aim of conveying a particular phenomenon, theme, or meaning represented by the meme.” I was unable to track down who wrote this, but I too remember when I had my first beer. The worlds first meme, was discovered by the Germans in 1904, of course meme in German means… A whales vagina. However, memes relevant to the urban gentlemen have really only been kicking off since the internet of things divulged in 2008, enabling the viral capabilities of conceptualising and sharing meme content, whether it be worth sharing or not. Life before the meme has since been synonymised with life on Mars. In a recent interview with up-and-coming pop musician Elton John, he described the desert wasteland as “not the kind of place to raise your kids, in fact, it’s cold as hell.” He bickered on about the science behind it all, however, seemed naively unaware of the education system on the fourth planet from the sun. I explained to Mr. John, the interview was actually about memes, not Mars. Closing out, he did utter some idealistic yet strangely whimsical sentences pertaining to the nature of memes in such a rapidly advancing societal environment. He paused, thinking quite melodically, stating,

“where there is a platform for the peoples voices to be heard, two things symbiotically occur. Comedy is utilised to enlighten, contest, encourage and uplift through laughter and contemplation. Secondly, people download your music for free.” I quickly noticed the interview spiralling so left it there. Anyway, life before the meme was such as that on Mars, or so we are told by our elders. However, everything the meme is, has been pre-dated and preexisted by another conceptualisation of the meme itself. So, what was it? Quite simply, jokes were told in conversation superseding any barrier of social-networking. These jokes were copied, then repeated, only to be told time and time again, utilising words to serve as punchlines creating moments purely relevant to the situation. It was reactive and fast-paced, always looking to best serve the moment. Minutes later forgotten, only to be bought up time and time again. Social outings in fact had nothing to do with anybody's smartphones or what was on the instabooks. This doesn’t necessarily show there is a problem, only proves the very real transition that social networking has presented us with, a sign of the times some might say. With any change, humans create these various nostalgic dispositions. Which creates opportunities in itself, relishing in the glory days. That’s exactly the sort of opportunity a group of creators have seized. After spending an obscene amount of time spent quoting ‘Anchorman’ in any situation they saw fit, whether it worked or not, Wellington based start-up 1ast (last), wanted to re-create some of those classic quoting sessions of pure, drunk non-sensical chat, spouting nothing but the great lines of Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Brick Tamland and Champ Kind. Drawing their inspiration for the name, logo and creative process from the comedic icon himself. 1ast, at the creative hand of lead designer Ethan Murray wanted to build a company to tap into the joy these iconic lines have bought so many over the years. This idea has only been growing bigger since then. 1ast create specialist art prints. Unlike other print brands their pieces are seasonal, meaning that they create nine pieces all under one theme or concept; followed by a brand-new season of a totally new style. Speaking with Ethan he noted that “1ast started by accident, through the process of turning one classic line from Anchorman and converting into a totally re-imagined piece of art.

Season one follows classic lines from Will Ferrell. They stretch well beyond any idea of an alternative film poster, as the focus is in emanating the re-action that originally stirred when hearing it all for the first time, a reaction that people seemed to connect with so much. The seasonal changes are influenced by what our consumers want. We really want to avoid complacency with our style, which means our team meetings are all about innovative content and theming. Currently working through season two, we really want to establish just how drastic our changing themes will stretch.” Utilising art to inspire conversations, 1ast want to draw their customers attention away from their smartphones ‘the gateway to the existential black hole that is the meme.’ Encouraging sociality through light hearted, hysterical engagement. Not only are 1ast building the brand around a modern problem but they’re also engaging with the idea of what it means to be a modern start-up.

“It was so important to us in conceptualising 1ast to make sure we upheld values integral to the team. Whilst having really high-quality prints is vital, being an environmentally conscious brand was equally as relevant, we didn’t want to take the regular route in the packaging and shipping of artwork. This meant establishing a plastic free solution for our cylindrical packages.” Even with 1ast having started recently, it was clear to see the progress. “We were really excited to start releasing season one and the response has been massive, getting close to the selling out the first releases after only a week definitely wasn’t a bad start.” Times are changing and the worlds becoming both more connected and disconnected than ever. Yet, the exciting takeaway is the amount of creativity on either end of the spectrum; hundreds of thousands of memes are created every day by talented individuals looking to entertain and inform. Whilst moments are still captivated and shared through twisted stories and terribly misquoted one-liners, from it all, opportunities are making themselves available for ignition of further creativity. — Lovingly penned by Jon Hopkins

13 Goin When I was thirteen years old, I used to love putting on my cherry-flavoured Lip Smacker, dressed head to toe in neon Supré, while flicking through the latest issue of Dolly; thinking I looked just like Hilary Duff, of course. Nowadays, with the help of YouTube tutorials, endless filters, and the accessibility of social media; young teens look more grown up than ever. Gone are the awkward poses, terrible trends, and playing with your mum’s makeup, but in are the days of overdrawn lips, designer clothes and much better selfies.

As we age, we tend to find ourselves caught in a trap. As a teenager, I wanted nothing more than to be treated like an adult, and now in my 20s I find the thought of being considered an adult terrifying. One thing that has always remained the same is the use of clothing and makeup as an expression to convey that age, really is just a number. If you think seeing a 50-year-old woman in a short, tight dress clinging onto the arm of a 25-year-old with an Instagram account, is well, a little sad, then bear in mind, so too is the teenage girl trying to act twice her age. When I was in high school, I had a friend who we affectionately dubbed, “the mum.” She always dressed in a very classy, sophisticated manner, and held adult-like mannerisms. Our ‘mum’ friend definitely stood out from the other girls at school who also tried to look more mature but eschewed the Audrey Hepburn look and went more the Paris Hilton route. In today’s fast-paced, technology driven, media-obsessed culture, it is no wonder teens feel a sense of pressure to grow up faster. This sort of pressure to mature quickly can be sourced from a host of factors from parents, friends, and the

media. It is rare, nowadays, to find a teenager who wishes to be more like a kid, than they do more of an adult. According to clinical psychologist Limor Kaufman, Ph.D., parents can sometimes send mixed messages around who they want their teenager to be. She states, “parents want teens to respect their authority and at the same time be more independent, and it can be confusing. There's tremendous pressure on girls and boys in terms of presentation and performance." For those parents wanting to give their kids a competitive edge in today’s world, they can put an undue amount of pressure and emphasis on excellence and being the best. This was noted by early childhood educator, Kimberly Powell, who stated, “in the process, children are being robbed of their childhoods and innocence.” She further explained that “many parents appear to have a lack of understanding about what is the appropriate development for their child at a given age.” Today’s parents feel they are unable to cope with today’s teenage responsibilities and commitments because they are a drastic change from previous generations. This trend of today’s youth maturing faster was also noted with educators. Teachers across Canterbury last year complained that young teens were growing up way too fast because of the society we live in where “everything is instant.” Aside from parents, there can also be a huge push from peers to grow up quickly. It’s no secret that at high school, we all just want to fit in and be accepted. This can mean watching certain TV shows, or reading books that follow the current trends as that is seen as cool and the norm. Thanks to the rise of Instagram influencers and Youtubers, teenagers are constantly seeking out trends not ageappropriate because that is the image they are constantly being exposed to. Suddenly, it’s the new cool to wear skimpy outfits and call it a ‘festival’ look.

ng On 30 By Bianca Parshotam

It is often insecurity that cause young teens to try harder to paint themselves in a more adult light. In acting older and following the current trends meant for young adults, teenagers are made to feel more knowing and less vulnerable.

This is often the case in social situations where it can feel more socially acceptable to plaster on makeup and take a good selfie on Instagram than it is to post a silly, fun photo with friends.

her lip enhancements, which she vehemently denied before revealing she got lip fillers at the age of seventeen.

This led to the ‘Kylie Jenner lip challenge’ where many young teens inserted their lips into a shot glass, small jar, or bottles and then sucked out the air in hopes of emulating the star’s full, pouty lips. Instead, many were left with bruises, sore lips, and sometimes torn skin.

We also have teen-focused television shows and movies that often glamorise young teenagers as adults. When I was fourteen, every girl at school was obsessed with Gossip Girl. It was enticing and addictive, watching these teenagers as young as sixteen, live such glamourous, grown up lives. Today, teens have TV shows such as Riverdale which uses young actors in their 20s to portray high school students who act more grown-up than the adults. These shows aimed at a young teenage demographic lead to unrealistic expectations of what it means to be a young teen and only fuels the notion they should act more grown up. However, it’s not just fictional characters in the media who we can blame for normalising older behaviour. The real-life actors behind these characters are often instantly turned into adults’ due to being thrust in the spotlight. In my Gossip Girl days, I watched Taylor Momsen play cool girl Jenny Humphrey with her pretty blonde hair and preppy fashion sense. Behind the scenes, Momsen dressed way beyond her sixteen years and heavily painted her face with an intense eyeliner game. In Teen Vogue’s 2009 cover story, she admitted to her adult proclivities stating, "I'm not going to date someone who's sixteen, I would eat a boy my age alive." For young teenagers nowadays, Kylie Jenner is one of the most influential celebrities that many seek to emulate. Jenner was the subject of intense controversy surrounding

We are all guilty of falling into the illusion that the next stage is going to be better than our current ones, and will make us happier and more fulfilled. Of course, when teenagers see, all over their social media, older young adults enjoying themselves in town, out drinking and dancing, they are going to fantasise about growing older and that being their lives. What they fail to see on their social media is all the bad stuff that arises as you get older, and instead they are only shown a small window of the good stuff. Dr Kaufman states that acting more mature can bring along some benefits, such helping to form an identity in the long-term. "Girls who say they read The New Yorker are showing they want to be taken seriously intellectually," Kaufman says. "That may be a direction they choose to head in, even if they don't actually understand the content at the moment."

At high school, we used to always tease my “mum” friend but in actuality we admired her maturity. It is a good thing if young teenagers want to take on more responsibility, show a genuine interest in more adult topics, or develop a more mature style. This is as long as these intentions are pure and not for show in order to seem cool online. Whilst I am glad to be out of my awkward pubescent stage, I feel for those young teenagers struggling with letting go of being a kid without growing up too fast, especially in today’s technological age. It can be really frustrating being a teenager but it is a time when so many regret rushing through that stage in life. David Elkind Ph.D., and author of The Hurried Child, understands how important this time is one’s life. "I see many of my students mourning their lost childhoods," he says. "They see younger kids having fun and realize that they may have missed out on those experiences, pushing themselves toward adulthood. I think you see that in celebrities like Britney Spears." "For right now, it's OK not to have all the answers," says Kaufman. "This is a time of asking questions and building your identity." It is often those who look the most put together are the ones struggling most with their true identity. The harder you can appear older, the younger you can end up looking. So, while I will always perpetually cringe looking back on my young teens, I am also relieved to not have grown up in an age where social media was so prevalent. With role models such as the Kardashians, and the rise of Instagram influences; young teenagers today are subjected to false ideals about what is age-appropriate and it is no wonder they are more desperate than ever to grow up. Every fourteen-year-old will always wish they were older, more mature, and living a more glamourous grown-up lifestyle as portrayed in the media. I was no different at that age but I was fortunate enough to not be so consumed by the media and could still enjoy the perks of being a ‘kid.’ For every young teen out there wishing they were already an adult, trust me, hold on to being young for as long as you can.

Thoughts from an almost law student By Sarah Eynon

I can’t stand Meremere. Which is rather unfortunate I’ve found, as a Politics Major. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I’m forced to face my fear in order to pass the single Political Science course I’ve placed myself in for the semester. My disdain towards the Law building could make sense, had my subconscious let it, for fear of that unspeakable date, in which I found myself locked down in Meremere with friends I barely knew, a sobbing Trump supporter, and a lifeless phone of mine. This isn't true though.  My generalised disliking towards the, quite frankly, outdated Meremere building can quite simply be associated with my disliking towards my slightly younger, and slightly more pretentious self.

The me who, up until January 2019, was newly enrolled in the University of Canterbury’s only-slightly-maybe prestigious Law School, and who was anxiously awaiting my inevitable stress-induced breakdown.

Spoiler alert: one semester and two weeks later I am a proud (eh?) first-year Bachelor of Arts student.  The reason, though, that I can't help but curse the Law building on a regular basis does indeed have nothing to do with the building itself and everything to do with my own petty nature. The Law Building is a reminder of what would have been, had I hated myself enough to actually go through with attending. In all honesty, it's my fault. I knew what I was getting myself into. I spent all of 2018 working part-time for a Law firm, learning exactly the kind of hell that law is. Boring, scary, and pretentious, all things hell-like to me. Not only did the lawyers themselves have me crying in the bathroom, but the utter thought of living like that for the rest of my life did as well.  Why did I want to study Law in the first place you ask? For the same reason as anyone else does: they believe that it’s a necessary step in being heard on a larger platform, a necessary step in being taken seriously, and a financially stable way of doing so. I want to make a difference in this godforsaken messed up world, but I also wanted to support myself and my historically not-well-off-moneywise family. This isn't a bad priority to have but my family has always managed, so why commit to what's likely going to become five to ten years studying something I can't

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Regardless, I’m pretty confident in saying that my slightly younger self was a bit of a pretentious dick.  Yes, I’m only 18 and only a fresher. It's pretty dumb for me to be looking into my past when I haven't even started my future. But I've always been a rather nostalgic person. I think of myself last year, and wonder why I prioritized looking important instead of doing something important? I love politics, so why not major in it? I’m passionate about the education sector, so why was I not studying it? What I'm studying is still subject to change, as I have more interests and if it can change as quickly as it did when I switched out of Law, then it will likely change again. I know for certain though, I cannot stand law. I will admit though the moot court is pretty sexy.

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stand? All so I could impress a whole lot of people whose opinions do not matter and make money in a world that so seriously needs to stop prioritising its economics. I did have a lot of insecurities that were mostly due to my much ‘smarter’ and ‘richer’ friends who I so often compared myself to, and the unnecessarily high expectations I set for myself.

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The Break Down: New Zealand’s Top 3 Modern Former-Prime Ministers The role of Prime Minister is one that comes with large responsibilities and great personal sacrifice. Each PM has their own unique way of running the country. This week we dive into the treasure trove that is New Zealand’s former Prime Ministers. Below I’ve listed my top 3 Prime Ministers in order of most recent to least recent.

Jenny Shipley (National, 1997-1999)

Shipley came to power after she convinced a majority of the National caucus that the incumbent leader and current Prime Minister, Jim Bolger, was inept. Due to this, Shipley became New Zealand’s first female Prime Minister. Shipley’s premiership sought to present New Zealand’s greatness on the world stage. Thus, the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Forum (APEC) was held in Auckland with leaders from all over the world, including U.S. President Bill Clinton. Shipley supported the quasi-national emblem of the Silver Fern on a black background as an alternative New Zealand flag. Her government also lowered the drinking age from 21 to 18 (an outstanding move!) Shipley lost the 1999 election to Labour’s Helen Clark but continues to be involved in charitable interests.

were “morally indefensible.” From this Lange’s Government passed the New Zealand Nuclear Free Zone, Disarmament, and Arms Control Act 1987. The Act declared New Zealand a nuclear-free zone and banned all nuclear-capable ships from entering New Zealand territorial waters. The United States viewed the legislation as hostile and a breach of the ANZUS treaty. New Zealand’s anti-nuclear stance is still a large part of our national identity and foreign policy.

Michael Joseph Savage (Labour, 1935-1940)

Michael Joseph Savage is one of New Zealand’s most beloved Prime Ministers. Prior to World War II, Savage met in London with leaders of other Commonwealth nations and called out the British for its weakening of the League of Nations and complained that dominions, such as New Zealand, were not properly consulted or informed on foreign policy and defence issues. Savage also strongly condemned German rearmament, Japanese expansionism into China, Italy’s conquest of Ethiopia and British appeasement of Hitler. Albeit, Savage led New Zealand to war, officially declaring war on Nazi Germany on the 3rd of September 1939 in support of the United Kingdom. Savage is considered the architect of the New Zealand welfare state. In 1938, Savage’s government introduced the world’s first social security system in the Social Security Act 1938. The Act introduced a universal free health system, an unemployment benefit for people 16 years and over, established a pension scheme for men and women at age of 60, and a universal superannuation form age 65. Savage is 1 of 4 Prime Ministers that died in office. His ideology is forever entrenched in the beliefs of the Labour Party.

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David Lange (Labour, 1984-1989)

David Lange entered government in 1984 after Prime Minister, Robert Muldoon, drunkenly called a snap election (mood). During Lange’s five-year stint as PM, his Government made many economic and social changes. Lange and his Minister of Finance, Roger Douglas, engaged in deregulation of the financial markets as well as the removal of tariffs and subsidies. These economic policies referred to as Rogernomics. Lange believed when the market results in inequality or poor economic performance, the Government should get involved. The Lange Government enacted the Homosexual Law Reform Act 1986 which legalised the consensual sex of two men aged 16 and over. Lange also passed legislation that recognised Te Reo Māori as an official language of New Zealand. Lange was very critical of the use of nuclear power and believed nuclear weapons

Don Brash will say something racist The Christchurch City Council will build another cycleway Trump will tweet something stupid Boris Johnson will screw up Brexit ______________________

Current Political Ratings New Zealand Politics: 2/3 International Politics: Dangerous

Upcoming UCPOLS Speaker Series Guests August 12, Bentley’s Bar: Lan Pham, ECAN Councillor August 19, Bentley’s Bar: Chris Bishop, Hutt South National MP September 9, Adrian Orr, Governor of the Reserve Bank September 16, Ruth Dyson, Port Hills Labour MP If there is anything in particular you’d like to hear about in a future report, or you simply want send your thoughts and comments about this article, use the email editor@ucplos.co.nz to get in touch.

Disney Point vs Counter-point

Against Disney films are not something that I am particularly interested in, but that’s probably a good thing given this issue’s nostalgia theme. Nostalgia makes people overlook things, and that’s exactly why new Disney films are better than the originals. Firstly, the new films look really good. Let’s start with the latest of the new Disney films: The Lion King.

When kicking around ideas for this column, I did a quick google and found a complaint that it was a musical about lions that looked like a National Geographic special. Unlike the disaffected viewer, I think that sounds pretty cool. If Blue Planet could win an Emmy for its music and cinematography, then there is clearly an appetite for watching photorealistic lions dance to a Beyoncé song. The original Disney films with their same-same animation style are, well, samesame. That is probably the result of sticking with the same animation style for almost 60 years. The same cannot be said for modern Disney movies. Modern Disney films gave us Tim Burton directing 2010’s Alice in Wonderland. Gone was the generic Disney look of the 1951 original, and in was Burton’s psychedelic style. Upon writing this article I found out that Lewis Carroll was not on drugs when he wrote the book, but it sure feels like he was, and only a modern live-action CGI bonanza can really do that justice. Moving away from the more recent live action remakes and you hit upon Moana. It is undeniable that Moana looks so much better than the animated Disney movies of old. More significant though, is that you can put it side-by-side Disney’s other recent animated film, Zootopia, and not even realise that both are produced by the same company. Say what you will about modern Disney’s penchant for remakes being derivative, but at least they have finally taken a marketing 101 class and learnt about product differentiation. Talk of Moana and looking different, naturally brings us to the other key point in favour of modern Disney films: Disney got woke. It is very easy to make the case for Moana being the face of a modern Disney that cares about crafting films that represent their global audience. Let young Pacifica people see themselves in Disney heroes and heroines the same way white kids could last century. Given that few people are likely to disagree with me on that front, I will make the case that even the less successful pushes for diversity in the live-action remakes elevate modern Disney films.

Female heroines in the Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast remakes, no longer focus on finding their Prince Charming and are instead intelligent, threedimensional humans. Here’s hoping Disney can get this all together for the upcoming live-action remake of The Little Mermaid. My initial takeaway when I eventually saw the film was that the story was fucked up: ‘girl wants man, girl gives up voice to be silent and pretty object for man.’ Quite apart from admirably screwing with racists by choosing POC Halle Bailey as the film’s lead, maybe Disney can fix up that plot as well. If it can, it will show that modern Disney films can at least churn out better role models for kids these days than the originals. Nic Wilson

y Movies

The old Disney movies are far better than the new live versions - change my mind!

For Alongside original stories and characters, one of Disney’s achievements as a company, is to distil a classic story to its essence, sprinkle it with Disney stardust, and interpret it through the medium of film for the first time. This codifying of folk stories has now been grotesquely twisted. Disney has begun regurgitating and reinterpreting its own material, and in the process, they’ve lost what made them special. In 2019, Disney reached peak nostalgia by releasing four live-action photorealistic remakes of its own films. Profitable, state-of-the-art, soulless remakes. The Lion King is a timeless story where Simba overcomes shame and cowardice, takes responsibility for his mistakes, then defeats a despotic leader to avenge his father, save his people and restore the natural order.

The original, a classic hero’s journey, is one of the best examples of 2D animation ever created. The 2D medium allowed Simba to emote fully; to sing, to smile, and dance. Most modern animation does not reach the quality of this 1994 classic, and for that reason it has never aged. In the 2019 shot-for-shot remake, the emotional connection with characters has been stripped away. The large empathic eyes and anthropomorphised faces of our characters have been replaced with “photo-realistic” counterparts who act like brutal wild animals in a nature documentary. Rafiki, the jovial baboon with a cheerful smile, has been recreated as horrifyingly lifelike, fangs and all. The remake relies upon the spectacle of CGI technology, at the cost of our connection with the characters. That is why it is inferior. The best CGI of this year is worse than the best CGI of next year, and unlike the timeless original, the 2019 remake will always be stuck in 2019, sliding ever further into the uncanny valley as time goes on. The 1941 Dumbo was a touching story of an orphan who struggles to find his place in the world, seeks wisdom from new friends, and through believing in himself, finds his true potential and makes the world better for those he loves. At the time, Disney was in financial stress and needed something to release, so Dumbo was made by two men on a shoestring budget. It’s chapter-like story structure and short run-time makes it an unusual film. But it was an instant success and 80 years on you’ll still cheer when Dumbo learns to fly on his own. Some terrible choices were made in the remake. No talking animals, the protagonist was now a burnt-out acrobat widower, it included messages about the brutality of circuses, and is now covered in the creepy veneer of Tim Burton’s aesthetic. The film was a financial success, grossing about $360 million on a budget of $170 million which will ensure that such remakes continue, but it was a mish-mash of creative choices driven by market testing and is unlikely to have the longevity of the original film. When Disney produces new and original movies, they can’t be beaten; Moana, Wreck-it-Ralph and Frozen have become a part of our culture and will go on to have the enduring popularity of the classics. When it comes to remakes, Disney can add glamour and gloss, but the reason the original films resonated with audiences was the story. We wanted to be Simba, we wanted Jasmine to become Empress, for Dumbo to fly and for the Genie to be free. We wanted these things because we connected with the characters and the story felt relatable. The remakes have lost that connection, and that is why the remakes of 2019 will never match up to the magic of the originals. Robert Brownlee

YOUR TOY STORY REVIEW

Toy Story Synopsis:

Woody the Cowboy is leader of Andy’s toys, but ruh-roh! New toy, Buzz Lightyear enters the stage, and quickly robs the top spot as Andy’s favourite toy. Woody gets low key/high key jealous. Adventure, hilarity, and character development ensues. Um, I was three the first time I watched this or something, so no h8 please.

Release Date: 1995 IMDB rating: 8.3/10 Quotable Quotes: Mr. Potato Head: Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso! Hamm: I don't get it. Mr. Potato Head: You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck? [Woody finds Buzz dressed up as "Mrs. Nesbitt" and in the company of two headless dolls] Woody: What happened to you? Buzz: One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down darjeeling with Marie Antoinette... and her little sister. [chuckles nervously] Sergeant: [about the second present Andy opens] It's... it's bedsheets! Mr. Potato Head: Who invited that kid? Fave Characters: Rex and Woody Actual Thoughts: This is the gem that started them all. I would have been under five years old during my first viewing, and I grew up on these characters. My review is clouded with bias and I fully accept my shortcomings as a movie critic.

Toy Story 2 Synopsis:

Woah the graphics are slightly better, and some new toys have joined the gang. Woody realises he’s the star of a kid’s tv show, ‘Woody’s Roundup,’ and he’s got a whole new group of friends – but how do Andy’s toys feel about that?

Release Date: 1999 IMDB rating: 7.9/10 Quotable Quotes: Jessie: You never forget kids like Emily, or Andy, but they forget you. Woody: Ride like the wind, Bullseye! Rex: [as Al breaks into the box that Andy's Mom locked Woody into] I can't look. Could somebody please cover my eyes? Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful. Fave Characters: Jessie and Wheezy Actual Thoughts: Okay so this one is ultra-nostalgic too, because according to my mother’s accounts, I sat through this movie as a tiny two-year-old tot in the cinema, and I was transfixed for the entire one hour and thirty-two minutes of running time. This was quite a feat for me, and I don’t know If I could say the same as a twenty-one-year-old today tbh. Also, Jessie is bae.

Toy Story 3 Synopsis:

Omg Andy is off to college! They grow up so fast… You know what that means – time to take out the trash *coughs* sorry, toys, of yesteryear. Andy’s old toys end up being donated to a kindergarten, and it doesn’t look good – because man, these kids are rough, and damn it ain’t easy being a discarded toy.

Release Date: 2010 IMDB rating: 8.3/10 Quotable Quotes: - Barbie: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from threat of force! - Woody: You'll be okay in the attic? Jessie: Of course I will... Besides, I know about Buzz's Spanish Mode. Buzz Lightyear: My what? - Jessie: Buzz! We're your friends! Buzz Lightyear: Spare me your lies, temptress! Your emperor's defeated, and I'm immune to your bewitching good looks. - Woody: [in Bonnie's room] Look, I just need to get out of here... Buttercup: [dramatically] There is no way out! [Woody stares at him in horror] Buttercup: Just kidding. Door's right over there. [he points] - [repeated line] Aliens: The Claw! Fave Character: Lotso Actual Thoughts: I went to see this in the cinema as a twelve-year-old and it was highly entertaining in a new way, because I was of a more cognisant age, and able to begin to appreciate the nuance that is hidden adult humour. This movie is an absolute tear jerker and I swear there was not a dry eye in the theatre. I don’t cry in movies, but this movie had me Niagara-Falling.

Toy Story 4 Synopsis:

You NEED to see this absolute masterpiece. Honestly, I went into that movie theatre prepared to be thoroughly disappointed (I mean, does anyone even remember anything after Shrek 2, even though it’s a four (five?) part comedy shit show movie series) But I WASN’T disappointed. I was euphoric, and fuck, I am told I had a post-Toy Story 4 glow.

Release Date: 2019 IMDB rating: 8.2/10 Quotable Quotes: Forky: I am not a toy, I was made for soups, salads, maybe chili, and then the trash. Freedom! [from trailer] Woody: I was made to help a child, I don't remember it being this hard. Woody: [From Trailer] I want you to meet... Forky. Mr. Pricklepants: [From Trailer] He's a spork. “Be who you are right now.” – Bo Peep “Being there for a child is the most noble thing a toy can do.” – Woody Fave Characters: Bo Peep and Gabby Gabby Actual Thoughts: I’m not crying. You’re crying. The complexity and richness of the development seen in characters such as Woody, Bo Peep, and Buzz are immense. Bo Peep becomes the feminist icon we never knew we needed.

By Abby Robertson Read more of her at bohemianhumanist.com

A father's reflections on uni life back in 1975...

When we were juvenile pricks. 1975 …. Alcohol: It was worse then. We couldn’t afford it as much so drank only once a week. From Thursday to Sunday. Only beer really, and really crap beer, made by a continuous industrial process invented here. Like Heineken but even worse. It came only in two identical crappy brands. DB or Lion. You were fully identified with one of those. What are you? Oh, I’m a DB man. Shirt, stickers on car, that’s about all that mattered.

And it was delivered to the pubs in what looked like petrol tankers; pumped into the back door through a giant clear plastic hose. And delivered to very small glasses or litre jugs on the bar by a drench gun. I kid you not. Pubs were vast, especially the car parks... so as many as possible could get pissed as fast as possible and go out on the road all at the same time (pubs closed at 10pm. All of them) So the road toll per population was about 5 times what it is now. You crash. You die. The cars were total crap and designed to go slowly, only in straight lines and ... were small enough to drive on the footpath, or in and out of lampposts & on the verge, then footpath and either side of the road …. So in the morning it was completely routine to go out of your flat and see firstly, if your car was out there... which meant yes, great….you did drive home. And secondly if it was on the front lawn, back lawn (of your place or the neighbours’) Or even the road. The latter might mean you met a girl and briefly stopped drinking for a couple of hours. Back to the vast pubs. There were way fewer but they were often just featureless barns. Like cattle feeding lots. All Formica tables and horrendous sticky carpets. All the walls either had foul orange themed 70s wallpaper or were just a very off-white, indeed putrid, weak tea colour, as that was the colour of the nicotine film from the smoke. Everybody smoked. Even the asthmatics; those still alive.

about 100 shops and two supermarkets. Of course most was carpark (and nice landscaping by RC Etherington, my Dad). Oh... and there were some motels, for those who got lucky ... or were too pissed to find their cars...

One cultural event of great moment was the end of lectures booze up at the Bush Inn. In those days Varsity study was pretty much just two things. Lectures in large theatres… all year when you were not on holiday (50% of the time). And exams, which were all 100% and all at the end of the year. All in about three weeks. So normal people just took notes all year, or got them from that girl who had one of those four colour pens... and Xeroxed them.. Then for a few weeks after recovering from the end of lectures pub event (see below) you crammed the entire content of that girl’s notes into your sore head for long enough ... to write about it for 3 hours.. Then forget it so the next topic could use the solid state drive capacity... It was a marathon, designed to determine survival of the fittest. Worked well for me. So I would do about seven weeks solid 16 hour a days’ swot with an entire hour by hour timetable, including breaks and the single, four-day-drink a week reduced to one night.. Everything in moderation, including excess… Back to the pub. Usually the end of year booze up would get out of control. More than just the usual. And intentionally. It would spill out into the vast carpark of course as there were at least 3000 people there (the entire student body). They would run out of beer so we had to start on the tequila, port or sherry (sold on two or three litre flagons at the bottle store attached to every pub … Or ghastly wine produced industrially again... Mostly cheap Muller Thurgau... yuck). Anyway the cops would come. In vans... and arrest about 25 of the worst offenders, mostly engineering students of course... plus some smart arse law students ... Oh ... and the inevitable farming crowd from Lincoln who crashed into town on Friday nights.. And it was great fun trying to see if the cops would arrest you or not. They really were reluctant to. Good policing…

They did have one good thing, on Saturday night and that was live bands in the corner, about a hundred meters from the other corners. You could just see them through the smoke but no worries hearing them as they had 10 foot speakers back then...

One year they did not come, even though things and the Bush were really getting pretty wild, both in the pub, in the carpark, on the roof and out onto the road. We could not understand this. It was a breach of tradition and protocol. So someone, maybe me, thought we should call them. And act like an alarmed member of the public. And someone did... Very dumb… maybe me.

W b

The Bush. Anyway one vast pub was the Bush Inn. And that occupied the entire corner of Waimari Rd & Riccarton Rd where there are now

Well they came of course and because they were late... things were a bit overcooked. I think maybe 40 arrests? Anyway extra vans were required. The cops wanted to clear the carpark so apart from

encouraging people to drive off in their cars of course, however pissed, they were shoving us out of it and telling us to bugger off home. Perfectly sensible policing. Like the time I was in town at 2am with a bunch of idiotic mates driving, who pissed around the new one-way system, the wrong way in mother’s Austin 1100 (there were absolutely no other cars on the road at that time. Honestly none. No people either, as all was closed at night) Everything... The poor lonely cop stopped us near hospital corner. We said we were from Ashburton and looking for the way out of town... He did not believe us. Said were a bunch of spoilt ex Christ’s College boys who lived in Fendalton.. Which is that way you dicks, across the park so fuck off home now! And so we did. Actually drove across the park. Good policing. Or not. As I say the drunken road toll was horrendous (no, actually not funny at all). Things are way way better now and you lot have much better characters than we did. We were not that nice. Yeah... Nah … we were not.. Postscript: Yes, I got arrested. For obstruction. Should have been assault, as I pushed a cop back who pushed me, and he fell into some bushes. We were locked up for the night, fingerprints and mug shot (a client once told me she saw my picture in an ID line up of pictures of suspects...) Embarrassing phone call to parents... Shoved out on to Hereford Street at 5.30am feeling really sick and woeful … We all were discharged without conviction the next Monday or so, because we had mostly changed clothes in the vans and they charged us all with the wrong offences... as well, the Judge knew most of our parents... No… he just told us, very forcefully... we were an utter disgrace to ourselves, our families,., our university and humanity in general. And he was right.

I could go on… but should not. Except I do want to emphasise just one thing. Things…. like really the entire world, … is way better now. Although there was one great tradition I wanted to mention which I was proud of establishing myself with a mate called Munroe, and I can’t believe it, but I heard this still existed until a few just years ago.. killed off no doubt by PC culture (actually that is not something better .. I digress)

Munroe & I invented: The Back to School Pub Crawl. We got a bunch of the usual suspects & dressed up in our old school uniforms and tried to go to all 40 pubs inside the four avenues and have one drink... Why? For charity of course. So, we did actually have a charity on hand and sponsors … like DB & Lion … and Rothmans ... and that way, the long suffering public and great police, I have mentioned... would not arrests us. At least not for the first 20 pubs. Early on the police would be called of course, because people really thought actual school children (drinking age was 20, as it should be now... No, should be 21) were actually in the pubs... going out of control. Hilarious. No, actually pretty accurate. Juveniles indeed, we were. Finally there was the Chunder Mile at Rugby Park... Nah... another time… Charles W Etherington Christchurch July 2019

...And his son's reflections on uni life today in 2019

Oh, I don’t drink, just drugs for me thanks 2019… Throughout school, my father had to put up with my teachers explaining to him how I could do better if only I applied myself. Unfortunately, I will not be writing as high end a piece as him, hence this fluffy intro... Alcohol, or not: Personally, now at the end of Dry July, I’ve experienced incredible support from my peers and contemporaries. Taking a month off the rotten water is something that, in my Dad’s day, I would say would not have been embraced as enthusiastically by the student body, but then again, in those days the cannabis had considerably less THC…

While we may be perceived as a generation who have eased up a tad on the drink, we could reasonably be classified as a generation more open to popping pills and bumping lines in Mono

toilet queues, or taking psychs in inappropriate settings and huffing nangs in bed. That is not to say the older generations did no such things – they did – but our generation seems to be riding a wave of psychedelic renaissance, propelled by the surprisingly household name of Joe“Have you tried DMT?”-Rogan, among others. The bottom line? Well, while we may still be drinking dangerously, I will happily concede we have, in some way, grown up a bit regarding alcohol. Partying though? We do have more than our fair share of psychotropic fun, but there is, in similar style to our alcoholic temperance, a strong harm reduction and drug education movement rising to prominence. This is a good thing, and you should all join the freshest club at UC: Safe – promoting drug harm reduction on campus. Asher Etherington

Want to get paid $5K to work on your own business or social enterprise? Applications for the Summer Startup Programme close 15 September 5pm To find out more and to apply, visit www.canterbury.ac.nz/uce/summerstartup

Columns Department of Spiritual Engineering - Becoming a Kid -

- Gays

My friend Scottie used to absolutely love playing cricket when he was a little kid. But as soon he got to High School, he didn’t make the rep team, and so he just stopped playing, and started doing other things he could be more successful at. But still, to this day, he misses it. You see, Scotty has this theory. He thinks that when you’re a kid, you spend most of your time doing the things that bring you joy and fill you with wonder. But when you get to High School people often stop doing those things, and instead focus on the stuff that other people tell them they’re good at. When I was a little kid, I used to love painting, flying kites, and making model aeroplanes. Sure, I was horrible at all three – but all of those things filled me with this life affirming sense of wonder at the world. And yet, once I started High School, I quickly realised none of those things would help me progress up the social ladder of my school, and so I just stopped doing them. And yet to this day, I still miss painting, kites and model aeroplanes. Abraham Joshua Heschel, a Jewish poet with a huge beard and even huger eyebrows, famously wrote “Never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power or fame. I asked for wonder, and he gave it to me.” So maybe it’s time you got in touch with some wonder filled hobby or activity you used to do as a kid, that you’ve since given up on? You’ll find me on Ilam fields flying a kite, badly.

Rawing Meg

Gone By -

A collection of tales of queer days gone by.

Here’s a nostalgic question that should take you back; what activity or hobby did you used to love doing when you were a kid at primary school, but that you now no longer do at all?

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Queertiquette

I came out to myself around age 14. My "gay awakening" was sparked by a friend coming out to me - that's when I realised that queerness wasn't just an abstract thing. It could apply to me too. If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self not to worry about fulfilling/defying stereotypes and to be just to focus on being myself. I’ve never admitted it - denied it in fact until recently. Guess I was 18 when I came out to one person, the only openly queer person I know - a close friend of mine. I’m still so scared to let anyone know, even my boyfriend who is already openly out as bi. Guess I feel that it’s kinda seen that if you’re bi you’re not a ‘proper queer’ and should stay with ‘the straights’, but I know not everyone is like that. My ‘gay awakening’ was watching ‘Stick It’ in 2006. I still question whether I'm bisexual more as a result of compulsory heterosexuality rather than my own feelings because I always thought women were more attractive. But then again, is that just a result of exposure to culture that objectifies women? I think probably a lot of bi women have this internal dilemma. I didn't have a gay awakening as such. As a trans lesbian, being gay is kind of an addon. A bunch of my family decided I was gonna be gay when I was like three (because straight people are like that). And I have to disappoint almost as much as I hate the idea of sexual and romantic relationships with men, so I was forced into being trans by family pressure...part 2 in CANTA issue 10.

- Nostalgia Our younger years seem like such a long time ago, and it can often feel like we lived in such a different world with different worries compared to where we are now. I spent a lot of my adolescent years wishing the time away, failing to enjoy that time, and rejoice in the free and careless lifestyle that I could live. Flash forward to present day, and I see so many life lessons that I need to remember and adopt into my life. We think so much harder these days, but the answers we find are more obscure and complex than they need to be. So, I've decided to take it back to young Meg to bring to you the top five lessons and tips I learned in my younger years, that I think we all need to be reminded of again. I do not have a clue what I weighed then - I didn't check, nor can I remember - so why bother placing so much power how much you weigh now? Appreciate your parents or caregivers for what they did – the big world of money woes, responsibility, and work is tough. I didn’t need my phone then to have fun and talk to people. So, look up from that screen, put the thing down, and take a wander into the outside world; people don’t bite. Remember that NCEA exam you only just got an Achieved on? You don’t? Exactly. One bad grade does not mean the end of the world or your future. Worrying about the future is not worth it – you have no control over it. Enjoy the now, embrace it for all it is, and don’t forget to find the value in every day. Your friend, Rawing Meg xx Insta: @rawingmeg Email: rawingmeg@gmail.com Blog: rawingmeg.wixsite.com/hearmeraw

Rev Spanky Moore Spanky.moore@canterbury.ac.nz

sameday booking

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The arts centre - 28 worcester blvd - central city

Uni Pharmacy - Is it a cold or is it flu? So, you’ve got a cold – or is it flu? Should you see the doctor? Should you stay away from Uni? Should you take anything? Whether it’s a cold or flu, your first stop should be seeing David or Lisa at the University Pharmacy in the Undercroft, where they can answer your questions and help you get better quickly. Both colds and flu are viral infections, spread from person to person as droplets in the air, or from touching infected surfaces such as door handles, then touching the nose or mouth. Sneezing and coughing are very effective ways of spreading the virus. A sneeze can travel at a speed of around 150km per hour and spread infected material up to three metres. No wonder sneezing is such hard work! The symptoms for colds and flu are similar, so how do you know if it’s a cold or flu? With both you may have a blocked or runny nose, sneezing, sore throat and a cough. There may also be fever, muscle aches and fatigue. With a cold these symptoms may last a week whereas with the flu they can come on more

suddenly, last for a few weeks and the muscle aches, fever and fatigue can be more severe. For people with chronic diseases such as asthma and diabetes, the flu can lead to serious complications involving bacterial infections, however, for most healthy adults, colds and flu are self-limiting. Medicines recommended by your pharmacist, along with rest, plenty of fluids, a balanced diet, and avoiding smoking and secondhand smoke, will help alleviate the symptoms. There are many cough, cold and flu products available including antitussive cough mixtures (for a dry cough, with no phlegm) and expectorant cough mixtures (for a productive cough, with phlegm). Then there are combination cold and flu products containing several ingredients to treat multiple symptoms, and individual ingredient products such as a decongestant for a stuffy nose, an analgesic for headaches and muscle pain and a gargle or lozenges for a sore throat. Confused? Don’t be. David and Lisa can help. A consultation with them before selecting a cold or flu product will ensure you get the right product for your symptoms. Check in with them today!

Your Advocacy & Welfare Team The Policy Place – Your Results Matter In the Advocacy and Welfare team, we often encounter a troubling attitude among students: that results don’t really matter. There seems to be a belief that if you fail a course, you can just keep trying again until you get enough marks to pass. I am not completely sure where this comes from. It’s tempting to blame NCEA or maybe it’s the stereotypical bugbear of the “prize for participation” attitude we were brought up with (I am a Millennial who experienced the joys of NCEA after all, so I can relate). Whatever the origin of this belief though, it is causing issues for many students. While it is admirable to hold on to hope when you see a failing grade; to overcome adversity, get stuck in, and try again (“If at first you don’t succeed” and all that), it is really important to remember that ultimately if you want to get your degree, then results do matter. You can repeat the asinine chant “Cs Get Degrees” all you like, but the reality is that “Ds Definitely Don’t”. So, when you are weighing up whether to study for that test tomorrow or to just say “Fuck it, YOLO, I’m going to MONO,” keep a few things in mind: You can only attempt most undergraduate courses a maximum of three times. In order to even attempt a course for a third and final time, you need to get special permission from the relevant Dean. Other courses only allow a maximum of two attempts. This includes

Some qualifications have even stricter passing requirements; some graduate qualifications don’t allow you to even fail one course, for example. If you fail half or more of the points you are enrolled in for a semester, or have a GPA of less than 1.0 (average of C-) for your degree level study, your Academic Progress will be reviewed by the University. This is a big deal, because if you AP is reviewed for more than one semester in a row, then there is a high chance that you will get excluded from your degree, or even from the whole University. It is then a really difficult process to get allowed back in again. It may not feel like you are losing real money when you get Fees Free and Studylink, but you will need to pay back that Student Loan at some point, and Studylink will refuse to keep funding your study if you keep failing your courses. This isn’t all meant to scare you (okay, it’s meant to scare you a bit), but it is important to remember. Yes, University is a fantastic and fun time of your life when you forge new friendships, learn a bit about who you are, and get to cut loose now that you are out from under your parents’ iron thumb. But it’s also a place of learning and study, and where you pay an unnervingly large amount of money for the privilege of trying to earn a qualification. So next time you are wondering whether to study or party, especially when you have a sense of déjà vu while studying for a course you took and failed last year, keep your eyes on the prize and read another chapter of that textbook you bought from a weary-eyed fourth year. And always keep in mind that there are plenty of people around the University who are here to help if you are struggling.

How to Sustain

Recreation Centre: Need some exercise? The Rec Centre provides gym equipment, group classes, and social sport games. https://www. canterbury.ac.nz/ucreccentre/

Wellbeing at Uni

Student Care: Need some general advice and not sure who can help? The Student Care Team are great people to ask because they are friendly and supportive, plus they have connections with other key support services on campus and can set up a support plan for you. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/support/needtotalk/student-care/

Life can seem rather difficult while studying. You may have to keep up with a whole variety of things; such as, family, friends, work, extra-curricular activities, and not to mention a full-time study workload. Is this possible? Yes – but only with proper self-care and planning. Self-care is the act of looking after oneself. It will look different for everyone, but it usually involves doing activities that you love, getting enough rest, eating nutritious food, and being part of a community. This sounds easier than it is. Sometimes you might need a little help to stay on top of things.

things like teaching placements, social work practicums, and all postgraduate courses. Again, you need to get permission from the relevant Dean before a second and final attempt.

UCSA Advocacy & Welfare: The A & W Team are here to offer support for academic appeals, special consideration applications, and grievances. They also offer financial help for unexpected circumstances. https://ucsa.org.nz/student-support/advocacywelfare/

Here are a few services around uni that can help you:

Student Mentoring: A student mentor can be a huge help for people new to UC. Student mentors are students as well, and they can help you discover what is available at UC and show you around. https:// www.canterbury.ac.nz/support/get-support/new/mentoringprogrammes/

Health Centre: If you are feeling unwell, there are doctors and counsellors available at the Health Centre for a subsidised price. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/healthcentre/

Clubs: The UCSA oversee a wide range of over 160 clubs. This is a great way to meet new people, try something new, or continue to develop your skills/hobbies. https://ucsa.org.nz/clubs/

Academic Skills Centre: There are a great range of workshops available at the Academic Skills Centre to help you succeed with your studies. They can also set up a study plan for you. https://www. canterbury.ac.nz/support/asc/

UC Staff: Please talk to your lecturers and tutors if you have any questions or if something is affecting your study. They can give you some advice on what would help. It is best to do this early on if possible to prevent a bigger problem from developing right before the final exam.

Sport Spotlight UTSNZ Volleyball Tournament Men Undefeated Title Champions & Women place 6th - all having a ball of a time This week we’re catching up with the UC Volleyball teams who competed at Pioneer Stadium in Christchurch for the University and Tertiary Sports New Zealand (UTSNZ) Tournament. The women’s tournament was highly competitive this year, with no one team coming to the tournament as a favourite. The UC Women’s Volleyball team gave it their all. Despite narrow score margins in the pool matches, they missed out on semi-finals, and went on to beat AUT 3-0, to take 6th place. Coached by Stacey Niao, special mention goes to players Jenna Trost and Gracie Hasler-Ewins. Jenna comes from Colorado USA and bought hype with her, celebrating every point the team scored, and Gracie put her body on the line and got injured on the second day. The Men’s tournament was defined by the dominance of the UC Men’s team, they were relentless and didn’t drop a set the entire

tournament. Every member of the UC team has been an age group rep, either provincially or nationally, and it included Sam Nielsen, a NZ Men’s Team player. That breadth of talent was an asset to the team, as they were able to run rolling subs and rest their players without harming the team performance. Captained by the cool headed Pesamino Morrison, they flew through the pool matches, defeating Otago, Waikato and Victoria in 2-0 sets. The final proved to be a little tougher, but only a little, they won 3-0 against University of Auckland to round off an undefeated tournament performance. Congratulations to both University of Canterbury Volleyball teams, their points will contribute towards UC’s point tally for the overall winner of the University and Tertiary Sports New Zealand shield. There are still several tournaments remaining with National Tertiary Tournaments in Ultimate Frisbee, Badminton, Basketball and Netball planned for later this year. If you’d like to get involved and compete on behalf of UC contact UC Sport for more information. Robert Brownlee

Womens’s team

Men’s team

Stephanie Fros, Levi Painter, Tamara Crequer, Kelsey Butland, Malia Manoa, Grayson Hasler-Ewins, Jenna Trost, Felicity Hatcher, Mackenzie Kuli, Hannah Mae Jerao

Ben Arnold, Carrick Corson, Charles Ching, Jacob Ceelen-Thomas, Josef Berry, Luke August, Luke Hulston, Matt Heyward, Pesamino Morrison, Sam Nielsen, Toby Gardener

Artwork By Crosby Allen-Jennings Submit yours to editor@canta.co.nz

Club Promoter

Tunesoc A Tunesoc interview with Esio Flop Esio Flop is a band from Dunedin, made up of two young dudes, who’ve come together to create some rad new music for you to have a boogie too. TS. Dunedin has been a vibrant place for music in recent years. What’s it like to be a part of the blossoming scene, and what’s it like making music in Dunedin? EF. I think Dunedin is the best city in the country to start a band at the moment. The student culture is incredibly supportive of live music and gets behind artists across multiple genres. So many great bands have come out of this place. To have that constantly around you to draw on makes for a great breeding ground which new bands can thrive in. Despite that, a lot of those bands everybody knows and loves have recently flown the coop - leaving room for something new to fill that space. It’s exciting to be around for what feels like the second wind of the scene that exploded a few years ago. TS. Obviously neither of you are new to that scene at all, having played in Albion Place, The Shambles, Lacuna, Old Boy and Mamazita, between the two of you. Have those experiences helped you in getting Esio Flop off the ground, or does it feel like you’re starting from scratch? EF. The bands you’ve mentioned have helped to shape who we are as musicians and as people, so there’s no doubt that they’ve had a huge influence on the new project. Alongside meeting cool people in the industry and learning various tricks of the trade, we’ve been able to

develop a sharper vision of what we want to achieve musically with Esio Flop. TS. Does your first demo “Her” come close to realising that vision? Or is that just a taste of what’s to come? EF. We both wanted to go out and play shows firstly, because we missed it a shitload, but also because we needed the money to record. We thought it would be best to have some music out before we booked anything so that people would actually come to our shows. The ‘Her demo’ is our best effort at making music without any proper recording equipment, studio access or budget. We propped Micah’s bed against the wall to make room for a vocal booth. We cellotaped the microphone to a cymbal stand because we didn’t have a mic stand. We sampled the beat from a Youtube video because we couldn’t afford drum mics. It was as makeshift as I’ve ever seen. Despite all that we managed to get a decent sound that we’re stoked on. Once we’ve got the proper equipment, I believe we’ll be able to take those ideas born in a bedroom to the next level. TS. Broccoli or cauliflower? EF. Broccoli TS. Pepsi or coke? EF. Pepsi TS. Favourite Roald Dahl novel? EF. B.F.G/Esio Trot.

BLAZING LYRICAL DRAMA

AA TICKETS $23

The

arsonists By Jacqueline GoldямБnger

Directed by Dan Bain

17 AUGUST - 7 SEPTEMBER WWW.COURTTHEATRE.ORG.NZ

Flat Famous The Virgin Flat Ben -

As I sit down for dinner, to rest weary feet My flatmate and I reach the same comfy seat We lock eyes yet I, through my own actions taken, Back away from the chair, all plans forsaken He laughs as he sits, and not sooner, but later Proceeds to then fuck me, he calls me a beta ‘Sorry,’ I say, ‘I guess I’m trying to be nice.’ ‘That’s what a fucking beta would say,’ he replies.

Thomas -

Each night we gather around the dining table Hugh compliments the chef on what he considers a beautiful meal and pours himself a bourbon and coke Laird shares that days epic gaming moment and expresses the daily struggles he endures as a gamer Nach enthusiastically enters the room before licking his fingers and proceeding to touch the communal food Otis argues with the rest of the flat about that days discussion, never admitting that he may be wrong

Otis -

White isolation with friends that can never end the blizzard falls quiet on a silent zephyr of light, a speck is freed from the ceiling; Weightlessly and without might, it falls with grace believing;

Liard -

Its descent carries with it a purpose, in its hands, it holds a soul; Aeons pass and it reaches the surface Only to be swallowed whole.

Hugh - “Photosynthesis. A tear of water resting on my

naked skin. Natural light ejected from the heavens, piercing through its body, dividing into an infinite spectrum. I too am on the spectrum. Autism.”

Luis - Every night I cry myself to sleep, Unless I make a toastie with the cheese, I'm in need, Help me please, Put barbeque sauce on my titties

Want your flat featured in CANTA? Email editor@canta.co.nz

This issu eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s FLAT has score FAMOU d drinks, S food, at th Fox & Fe rret! e

Photo Credit - Java Katzur

Music Review

A Few Notes Smack my bitch up By Lewis Hoban

Ty Segall - First Taste Dedicated readers of this little column, all seven of you, will know that I have particular tastes. I’ll defend the fab four with my dying breath, a blunt object clutched in my hand and a smirk on my face, for example. They’ll also know I hold Ty Segall, the terrifyingly monolithic, prolific and sometimes comic garage rock heavyweight from the sunny state of California, wah-wah pedal capital of the Americas. Some are heavy, some are airy. This one? Very jangly, which is honestly a particular sound we haven’t heard from the ur-god before, if you ignore his acoustic indulgences. Still rocks your socks up, tho.

Chance the Rapper - The Big Day Now this was a surprise. Chance has been on a lot of people’s radars for a long while, including my own. “Acid Rap” is among my top 10 albums of all time, and actually resulted in me getting my first bit of hate mail. Granted, until now, Chancellor Bennet, better known as Chance the Rapper ("please say the rapper"), has only put out his music in the form of mixtapes. You can actually find a lot of his stuff online for free, which came as a great surprise. As such, “The Big Day” is on the record as being Chance’s big first debut into the charts. At the time of writing, a few tracks have even entered Apple Music’s top 10 charts. So naturally, this a big deal for anyone who jams to him. Our boy is finally out there on shelves! Which begs the question; Is it a good album, let alone a great album? Uh…kinda? Actually, uh, no, not really. I mean… There’s often a point where, in the early stages of the migration of a musician or band considered on the fringe of what we’d call ‘pop music’, a distance from the Top 100, take to their rough sound with a bit of fanciful production sandpaper, to make it easier for the sensitive ears of entitled fifteen year old’s, who only listen to Five Seconds of Summer or some other dorks. This is the same with Chance, who got none other than the much-loved, much-hated, much-in-need-of-therapy Kanye West for his third album, “Coloring Book.” But this is a whole new beast entirely. Featuring, in no particular order, guest verses from Nicki Minaj, DCFC’s Ben Gibbard, Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon, John Legend, Megan Thee Stallion, Timbaland, Gucci Mane, Shawn Mendez, RANDY “YOU GOT A FRIEND IN ME” NEWMAN, the sound is undeniably bubbly and summertime sweet, yes, but it is as saccharin is to sugar. In the time since blowing up, Chance has married and started a family, got into his Jesus and God in a big way, and has pretty much been enjoying himself, a brighter mood reflected sonically, of course. This is also why it’s taken a long while to put out his debut – you can’t have a daughter and pump out hits like it means nothing. This is something new. Is it something good, tho? I’ll leave it up to the listener.

Mini Mansions - Guy Walks into a Bar... Sidegroups are pretty interesting experiments. Occasionally, you’ll have one that’s really good, putting just the right bassist from The Last Shadow Puppets (yet another sidegroup), the right former drummer for the Mars Volta, and the right bassist from Queens of the Stone Age – not doing bass, mind, but guitar and vocals instead. Cool, right? A quick look on their wiki page says their style has been compared to “The Beatles, Elliott Smith, and Fountains of Wayne,” or as I might call it, the holy trifecta of sweet, bittersweet and cheesy. Regardless of your tastes, you need to jam this into your eardrums like a q-tip.

Honourable mentions:

The Regrettes - How Do You Love?, Young Guv - GUV I, Sleep Eaters - Holy Days, Dovid Is Here Wul-frick, Electric Youth -Memory Emotion, Salami Rose Joe Louis - Zdenka 2080.

Entertainment Guide

Entertainment Guide By Ella Somers

Three books to pick up for when you’re feeling nostalgic about career aspirations you had as a young’un: Are you staring down the black hole that is your university degree, adult responsibility and just life in general? Wishing you could go back to when you were a young un’ and your career aspirations were more aligned with whether you felt like being a rock star or royalty that day? I’m here to help with some tailored book recommendations to transport you back to all that nostalgic goodness of your youth!

If you wanted to be Royalty… read Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston Did you use to play Princes and Princesses, and go to sleep dreaming about castles, titles and using that sweet, sweet taxpayers money for a life of luxury? Red, White & Royal Blue might be the book for you! Eye-wateringly funny, this book follows Alex, First Son of the United States and Henry, Prince of England who just so happen to have a mutual loathing

for each other. But after a publicity disaster at a royal wedding that could risk American/ British relations, the two are forced to fake a friendship for the press. But what happens when that fake friendship starts to slip into romantic territory? You’ll have to read the book to find out. Also, this book contains the line, “I don’t know who YOU think you’re kidding, you hufflepuffass bitch,” which I want tattooed across my forehead immediately.

If you wanted to be a rock star... read Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid Maybe you focused on music with a passion your parents wished you’d also applied to other things like tidying your room? If so, get your hands on Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid! The book follows the American band of the same name and is told entirely through interviews with the band members and people close to the band. The characters recall the band’s humble beginnings to becoming one of the biggest bands in the world, to finally opening up about their abrupt split at the peak of their fame. Along the way the book also covers the

FILM

struggles of drug addiction, the pressures that fame brings to creativity, and being a woman in the music industry in the late 1960s and early '70s. This book completely wrecked me in all the best possible ways so pick up ASAP!

If you wanted Superhero…

read Vicious by V. E. Scwab Are you nostalgic for ye good olde days when you had the ill-fitting costume of dreams that you never let your parents wash? The determination to see justice done even if it was just dobbing in a younger sibling? Pick up Vicious by V. E. Schwab! Once upon a time Victor and Eli were two university students with complicated pasts and too much time on their hands. Throw in a fascination with the idea of near-death experiences and super abilities, life changes forever for both Victor and Eli when they try the theory on themselves. Ten years later, Victor’s breaking out of prison with a murder hanging over his head and vowing to get his revenge on Eli. And Eli’s seen as a hero even though he’s also a murderer. Who is the true villain? Vicious blurs the line that separates heroes from villains and turns the tired superhero trope into something dark, bitter and ultimately vicious.

REVIEW

- Yesterday -

I went into Yesterday hoping it would be just good enough to forget the real world for a couple of hours, and not bad enough that my eyes would roll out of my head and my ears would start bleeding. But I guess I should have known better, because Yesterday was bloody fantastic. I’d say this is probably not the film for you if you hate The Beatles, Ed Sheeran or mushy stuff, except that I hate Ed Sheeran, mushy stuff, only moderately like The Beatles music, and I bloody loved the whole thing. The absolute talent of Himesh Patel, Lily James and Kate McKinnon (who all could’ve just read out tax statements for the whole film and I would’ve hung off every word) covers up the film’s slightly cheesy plot and give depth to the characters and story flawlessly. The direction is excellent apart from a few odd shots and the music is mixed into the whole film so well that I had Beatles songs rattling around my head for days afterwards. Even Ed Sheeran's acting wasn't as painful as I was expecting! Still mostly terrible but compared to his Game of Thrones moment which no one wants to reflect on ever again, it didn’t completely make me want to give up on life, and I could let it be.

Rating: 9/10 Eleanor Rigbys.

RDU Gig Guide

Strange’s Comedy

– Open Mic Night! Feat. Terror of the Deep/T54/Best Bets/the Ben Woods Group Venue - Stranges Lane Time - 7:30 - 10:30 Date - August 14th Tickets - Free

Ha The Unclear w/Dolphin Friendly

Venue - Space Academy Time - 8pm - 10pm Date - August 26th Tickets - $20 @ Door

Aldous Harding Grass Roots -Make It Legal Fundraiser

Venue - Christchurch Town Hall Time - 7pm - 10pm Date - August 29th Tickets - $64 via livenation

Feat. Transistor/Kool Aid/A.C. Freazy Venue - D4 Time - 6pm - 3am Date - August 31st Tickets - $16 via cosmicticketing

BLANK ATM

Y o u r W e e k ly

“ ow To: H Make your own adventure” A day adventure out of the city and into the rolling hills; Orton Bradley Park Jack Kerouac wonderfully once said, “In the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing the lawn. Climb that goddam mountain.” These words present themselves as a helpful mantra for those of you who are spending most of your days stuck inside the Library, writing essays and attempting to get through 1000s of pages of readings. The time is now to look up from your laptop, leave the university borders behind and head out for an adventure! Christchurch and its outskirts are full of stunning places to explore and make some memories in. So, how do you create an adventure? First, your basic checklist: ▢ Walking shoes ▢ Adventurous heart ▢ Raincoat ▢ Snacks (I’m a big fan of cookies) ▢ Money (ICE; i.e. Ice cream Expenditure) ▢ Fellow adventurer (I try and rally the troops with the temptation of humus and crackers) ▢ Backpack ▢ Camera ▢ Car, bike or public transport method Second – pick your destination...for this issue of CANTA, I want to tell you about Orton Bradley Park. 1. Gather your pals. Gather your goods. Pack a picnic. Getting to

Orton Bradley will require a car. * 2. Leaving in the morning, drive out to Orton Bradley via either the Lyttelton tunnel or over Dyers Pass road. Over Dyers Pass is the quicker route and it should take about 45 minutes til you reach your destination. 3. The entrance to Orton Bradley is on the right side of the road, in Charteris Bay, and is marked by big red gates and an avenue of tall oaks. 4. Drive up through the grounds until you’ve reached the camping area. Pick a place to park and then go and explore! 5. There are so many beautiful walks, varying in length, with signs pointing you in the right direction. a. Up to Mt Herbert with views over the Harbour will be about 4 hours return. b. The walk through the Rhododendron and Camelia gardens range between 10-20mins. c. There’s the walk to Big Rock, about 30 mins for view down the valley. d. And a walk up to the Waterfall – 2.5hrs return. 6. There’s always a playground with swings, slides and a flying fox – go on, you know you want too. 7. Don’t forget to make time for lunch! Set up a picnic blanket if the day is sweet and sunny and enjoy your feast. *However, for those keen cyclists – you could catch the 23 PapanuiLyttelton bus, head to Lyttelton, cacth the ferry across to Diamond Harbour and bike around to the Park. At the end of your park exploration, you could choose to bike back to the Ferry or continue biking round through Charteris Bay, onwards to Governors Bay and back through to Lyttelton that way. I’m not much of a biker, but can confirm I have done the loop and it was marvelous (apart from the sore bum the next day). Sam Mythen

Adventure Series

A Crooked Weekend All around New Zealand there are random cracks on the sides of hills. These slotty cracks of goodness are, for a select few, some of the best parts of New Zealand. MetVuw rain radar acts like a television for infants. A constant distraction from lectures with bright colours resulting in excitement, giggles and drooling. A few weekends ago the river gods played the equivalent of adventure time. A crew of us from the University of Canterbury Canoe Club (UCCC>CUSSC) set off for a weekend on the wild we(s)t coast. Loading up Mia Khalifa (Our trusty 2005 Subaru Impreza) with the essentials; Weetbix, chocolate Up&Go, How I Met Your Mother sandwiches, munchies, takeout goon and our paddling gear we headed off as soon as our Friday night hangovers allowed. The Crooked River is one of these such slots. Historically filled with fallen trees, ‘Big Wood’ is now impressively clean. Beautiful waterfalls hidden for years, now opened up for kayakers to throw themselves off in brightly coloured plastic. The gruelling walk is quickly forgotten as you watch your friend disappear down winding blue slots. The canyon looks almost moonlit with the lines resembling a natural waterpark, carving your boat across narrow walls as hoots of pure joy echo through the roar of whitewater. Each feature is another chance to grasp the feeling that some spend their lives chasing. Mid move you realise why these boaters give up money, relationships, and

careers for seconds of chasing absolute freedom. Approaching the end of the gorge moss starts to creep down to the waterline, opening to unsuspecting farmland as painted grins meet the sunshine for a frantic rush to the Greymouth Domino’s. Helikayaking is a brilliant word. At least 6 hours of constant shoulder pain flashes below the whirl of blades in exchange for a week’s rent each in cash. We start Sunday by driving to load up our kayaks into a giant net, making a particularly colourful teabag. The plan is to helicopter into the Perth River for a day cherrypicking our way through rolling drops. Carefully planning each move through some of the most scenic parts of the world, it takes 5 hours to cover the 3km of bucket list whitewater. Emerging victorious with “post sex faces” the team paddles towards the cars, sandflies and goon to start the almost relieved trip back to Christchurch. All up. 8/10 If you’re keen to experience a weekend adventure like this – hit up the Canterbury Canoe Club today - @UCCC.NZ    Archer McLeay

p i D y Luck Presents

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ce to s and a chan k in r d , r . e n din @canta orLUCKY TTAa chance itin d e Want a BARETTA W dinner, toDshoot your shot DIP? il BAREand a m E ? ant adrinks P I ot in LUCKY h s r Email editor@canta.co.nz u o y t o o sh co.nz

One Side

Being an engineering student I’m hopeless at romance. I learn about concrete so I couldn’t get much worse party chat than that. I have been tagged in the fb post about lucky dip a couple times, so decided to muster up the courage and sign up. My close mates insisted on helping me get ready before the date. I had them doing my makeup, hair and choosing what to wear. They dropped me off at Barretta on a weekday; this was my first time being sober here. The restaurant was as dead as my love life and he was nowhere to be found. After thinking I had been stood up, he finally arrived. We got the standard chat out of the way and it was no surprise he also studied engineering. Thankfully, he wasn’t on the spectrum and smelt like he had showered in the last week. We were on the same page and agreed to share a couple pizzas and spend the rest of the bar tab on drinks. The pizzas were tasty; however,

this white girl couldn’t handle the jalapenos. We talked about a range of things from uni and music to politics and our goals in life. The conversation flowed smoothly, and it didn’t matter that we were the only ones left at the restaurant. Suddenly from across the room I spy my best friend peeping through the window to scope the scene. I had to play it cool and act like my friend wasn’t a complete psycho as she was getting boosted up to the window by her fling. I don’t think he noticed, but I’m sure he’ll read this and block me on Facebook. When the bartender called for last drinks we decided to go to the Craic (the only place I know was open on a Wednesday). We had a few more drinks and a dance before heading home. He dropped me off, we had a cheeky kiss and agreed to meet up again at some point.

The Other Side I'm driving into town after the flat had swayed me into a blind date. Music blasting looking fresh, I start thinking to myself, who even goes on these? Does anyone cool even do this? I'm no Samuel L. Jackson but I can eat more wheat bix than the All Blacks so I'm kinda cool, right? A few moments pass and I realise I've completely missed my turn off. Now totally stuck heading in the wrong direction down those stupid one-way streets. By the time I arrive back on track and have reached the restaurant I'm five minutes late, what a great way to start things off. As I make my way into Baretta I do a quick scan of the room, you know the kind when the whole team get passed the bouncers and you weren't prepared to make it inside. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a gorgeous blonde girl alone in the corner of the room. Surely I think to myself, this might not be as bad as I thought. The waiter comes over to me with a cheeky grin and says in a playful tone "Canta?". Sure enough, the waiter gestures towards the beautiful lady sitting in the corner of the room.

Introductions aside I start with some shit chat about getting lost in the poorly designed town streets. Nothing impresses a girl more than a lack of sense of direction. We quickly start diving into a conversation and find common ground with ease. Pretty and can hold a conversation, this was already starting to shape up to be a pretty good evening. My date chooses a pizza and rightfully starts tearing the idea of pasta as an option to shreds. I'm a big pizza fan so when she's implied she is cool with splitting 2 pizzas I must admit I did melt a little. Falling back into the conversation I start to completely lose track of time. Restaurant staff now patiently waiting to call it a night, only us left filling the room with casual banter and laughter. None of us ready to call it a night, at least I'm not. I'm looking into her blue eyes I raise the question, "So what's good on a Wednesday night?". And then with one phrase, she locks in that this girl is possibly the coolest chick in canterbury. "I heard the craic goes off on a Wednesday"...

HAPPY ENDING

PISCES

ARIES

(Jan 20 - Feb 18)

(Feb 19 - Mar 20)

(Mar 21 - Apr 19)

Ask yourself: why take the time to visit a park and why bother working out at the UC Recreation Centre when you can simply stay at home and watch Parks and Recreation?

Your impact is being felt in mysterious ways, inspiring feelings in everyone you meet - particularly the glossy eyes of sad, late-night central library employees.

Your failure to attend the $5 Higher Taste curry lunches in the Living Room on Tuesdays and Fridays has resulted in your horoscope becoming a blatant advertisement.

TAURUS

GEMINI

CANCER

(Apr 20 - May 20)

(May 21 - Jun 20)

(Jun 21 - Jul 22)

Studying a double degree is a lot like wearing a cock-ring. You’re there for longer doing the same thing, only to be just as sad and unfulfilled at the end.

Coughing in a large lecture is attention-seeking behaviour. Handle your viruses in your own time. With dignity.

There are two types of people. People who bother to finish the jigsaw puzzle in central library, and people who bother to finish university. The choice is yours.

AQUARIUS

LEO

VIRGO

LIBRA

(July 23 - Aug 22)

(Aug 23 - Sep 22)

(Sep 23 - Oct 22)

While participation in Foundry quizzes isn’t compulsory, it’ll likely be more informative than using your Tuesday bingewatching that stupid glassblowing competition show.

You may have answered yes to that Noticeboard poll about having sex on campus, but be aware that your parents could hack into UC’s CCTV at any time. In fact, they frequently do.

I can think of precisely 237 and a half reasons for you not to invest in a half-year UC parking permit.

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

(Oct 23 - Nov 21)

(Nov 22 - Dec 21)

(Dec 22 - Jan 19)

If men cannot multitask, explain their ability to be in both Cuba and Simba at once.

Studies have shown that you’re not studying.

Cards Against Humanity isn’t funny anymore. Y’know what is funny? Having funny friends.

HOROSCOPES

@rickytownsendnz - facebook.com/rickyTnz

STUDENT FLATS 2018 OPEN HOMES - Mon 29 July to Fri 2 August 2019 Be in quick we have already rented 75% of our student ﬂats for next year! 1 BEDROOMS 36 Creyke Rd, Ilam $240pw – avail Jan 2020. 1 dbl bdrm ensuited room, new 6 bd/6 bth. Fully furnish OPEN HOME 11am Mon 5/8/19

3 BEDROOMS 4A Maidstone Rd, Ilam $460pw – avail 05/02/2020. 3 large dbl bdrm townhouse + 1 bdrm sleepout, htpump, WM, DW, lawns mowed OPEN HOME 10.00am Tues 30/07/19 69 Centennial Ave, Riccarton $430pw – avail 27/01/2020. Warm 3 dbl bdrm hm, DW, htpump, updated bthrm OPEN HOME 10.20am Tues 30/7/19 43 Arthur St, Upper Ricc $430pw – avail 29/01/2020. 3 dbl bdrm house, gd size lounge, sliders to deck OPEN HOME 10.40am Tues 30/719 8A Auburn Ave $410pw – avail 28/01/2020. 3 bdrm hm, htpump, ddl garage, gd sized sunny bdrms OPEN HOME 11.00 Tues 30/7/19 22 Harakeke St, Riccarton $445pw – avail 13/02/2020. 3 dbl bdrm character hm, insulated, ﬁre, new kitchen, DW, oﬀ street park, tenant mows lawns OPEN HOME 11.30am Tues 30/7/19

4 BEDROOMS 99 Avonhead Rd, Avonhead $530pw – avail 27/01/2020. 4 x 2 dbl bdrm, DW, htpump, dbl gge, tenant mows lawns. OPEN HOME 1.30pm Tues 30/07/19 156 Ilam Rd, Ilam $610pw – avail 28/01/2020. 4 dbl bdrm brick hm, insulated, x2 heatpumps, OPEN HOME 1.45pm Tues 30/07/19 47 Rountree St, Ilam $610pw – avail 29/01/2020 Large 4 dbl bdrm hm, spacious living, logﬁre, dishwasher, fenced yard, sgl gge OPEN HOME 2.05pm Tues 30/7/19 89A Wainui St – Riccarton $460pw – avail 11/12/2019 4 dbl bdrm hm, separate toilet, sep living, oﬀ street parking x4 cars, heat pump, OPEN HOME 2.20pm Tues 30/7/19 11 Centennial Ave, Riccarton $550pw – avail 04/02/2020. 4 bdrm hm, separate lounge with htpump, freshly redecorated, 2 showers OPEN HOME 2.20pm Tues 30/7/19 116C Elizabeth St, Riccarton $490pw – avail 27/01/2020. A new 4 dbl bdrms – 3 bdrms in house plus as new fully insulated cabin, tidy kitchen. OPEN HOME 2.50pm Tues 30/7/19 15 Maxwell St, Riccarton $500pw – avail 07/02/2020 4 dbl bdrm hm, heatpump in lounge OPEN HOME 3.05pm Tues 30/7/19

33A Flay Cres, Burnside $500pw – avail 07/02/2020. 4x2 dbl bdrm modern hm, full insulation, heatpump, DW, OPEN HOME 3.35pm Tues 30/7/19 52A Truman Ave, Burnside $500pw – avail 12/02/2020. Modern hm, rear section, 4 dbl bdrms, DW, htpump OPEN HOME 3.50pm Tues 30/07/19

5 BEDROOMS 1/31 Peverel Street, Riccarton $725pw – avail 14/02/2020. Modern 2 storey, 5 dbl bdrm, 2 bthrms, mod ktchn, DW, single int access gge, outdoor decked area/no lawns. OPEN HOME 10.20am Wed 31/07/19 2/31 Peverel Street, Riccarton $735pw – avail 05/02/2020. Modern two storey, 5 dbl bdrm, townhouse, 2 bthrms, mod ktchn, DW OPEN HOME 10.30am 31/7/19 34 Wainui St, Riccarton $600pw – avail 04/02/2020. 5 dbl bd, small oﬃce, sep lounge, htpump, new ktchn, DW, parking OPEN HOME 10.45am Wed 31/7/19 36 Wainui St, Riccarton $600pw – avail 13/02/2020. 5 dbl bdrm, sep lounge with htpump, new ktchn, DW, recently painted throughout, oﬀ street parking for 5 cars, shed for bikes, lawns mowed. OPEN HOME 10.55am Wed 31/7/19 39 Wainui St, Riccarton $585pw – avail 13/02/2020. 5 bdrms including a 3 bdrm house & 2 bdrm sleepout with ensuite, sep lounge, heatpump OPEN HOME 11.05am Wed 31/7/19 43 Kirkwood Ave, Ilam $750pw – avail 07/02/2020. 5 dbl bdrm hm located opposite Uni, sep lounge, heatpump, gd size ktchn with dining area, DW, gas hobs, 2 bthrms OPEN HOME 11.20am Wed 31/7/19

30 Auburn Ave, Upper Riccarton $855pw – avail 07/02/2020. Newly renovated 6 dbl bdrm hm, DW, htpump, fire, very warm, x2 bthrms, x3 off street parks, lawns mowed OPEN HOME 10.40am Fri 26/7 53 Acacia Ave, Upper Ricc $850pw - avail 28/01/2020. 6 dbl bdrms incl 5 dbl bdrm house + sleepout, mod kitchen/dining/living, deck for BBQ and outdoor entertaining, DW, 2xbathrm, x2 htpumps, garage + x3 off street parks, lawns mowed OPEN HOME 11.00am Fri 26/7 30 Doncaster St, Upper Ricc $820pw – avail 07/02/2020. Recently renovated, 6 bdrm with 2 bthrm, htpump, modern kitchn, DW OPEN HOME 10.05am Thurs 1/8/19

7 BEDROOMS 17 Reading St, Ilam $995pw – avail 04/02/2020. 7 dbl bdrms/2 bthrms - 4 dbl bdrm hm plus 3 bdrm sleepout with bthrm,dishwasher, htpump OPEN HOME 9.45am Mon 29/07 8 Westmont St, Ilam $990pw – avail 07/02/2020. 7 bdrms/2 bthrms: 4 bdrm plus 3 bdrm sleepout with bthrm, dishwasher, htpump, HRV OPEN HOME 10.05am Mon 29/07 6 Hounslow St, Ilam $960pw – avail 07/02/2020. 7 bdrm property incl 5 bdrms in house + 2 bdrm sleepout, x2 bthrms in house, heatpump, gas hot water, DW, HRV OPEN HOME 10.50am Mon 29/07 95 Hansons Ln, Upper Ricc $845pw – avail 31/01/2020. 4 bdrm hm + purpose built insulated 3 dbl bdrm sleepout with bathroom, DW, htpump, quality carpet/paint OPEN HOME 11.15am Mon 29/07

8 BEDROOMS

111 Suva Street, Riccarton $685pw – avail 07/02/2020. 5 bdrm hm, dishwasher, sep toilet, gd sized bdrms, heatpump, single garage, ample oﬀ street parking OPEN HOME 11.35am Wed 31/07/19

33B Lochee Rd, Upper Ricc $1135pw – 30/01/2020. 8 dbl bdrm, 2 storey, 2 bthrms, mod ktchn, DW, htpump, fenced yard, sunny deck/patio, dbl gge + 4 oﬀ street parks OPEN HOME 11.20am Mon 29/07

29 Vicki St, Upper Riccarton $625pw – avail 07/02/2020 5 bdrms/2 bthrm 3 dbl bdrm + 2 double bedroom sleepout w ensuite. Htpumps, modern kitch/dining OPEN HOME 11.50am Wed 31/7/19

92 Clyde Rd, Ilam $1135pw – avail 5/02/2020. 8 bdrms & 3 bthrms, Close to uni good size living and kitchen. Great outdoor living. Htpump. Dbl gge + oﬀ street OPEN HOME 11.40am Mon 29/07

4B Maidstone Rd, Ilam $740pw – avail 12/02/2020. 5 dbl bdrm + cabin, htpump, DW, x1 bthrm, x2 toilets OPEN HOME 12.25pm Wed 31/7/19

111B Waimairi Rd, Ilam $1000pw – avail 25/11/19. 7 bdrms / 2 bthrms, heatpump, lge modern kitchen. D/W, modern bathrooms, sunny back yard. Oﬀ street parking. OPEN HOME 1.20pm Mon 29/07

116A Elizabeth St, Riccarton $725pw – avail 10/02/2020. As new 5 dbl bdrm, DW, heatpump, dbl glazed windows OPEN HOME 9.45am Thurs 1/8/19

6 BEDROOMS 116B Elizabeth St, Riccarton $1000pw – avail 07/02/2020. Brand new 6 bdrm/6 ensuite brick house, rear section, DW, heatpump, full insulation, dbl glazed windows OPEN HOME 1.20pm Fri 26/7

Ph. 351 7643 or 022 017 4337 reception@a1prop.co.nz www.a1prop.co.nz

69 Parkstone Ave $1050pw – avail 15/02/2020. 9 bdrms, 2 bthrms, 3 toilets, kitchen, dining and living areas, Large sunrm, fenced, oﬀ street parking, Htpump + ﬁre OPEN HOME 1.50pm Mon 29/07

Open Homes run for 15 mins, come to a few incase you miss out on your ﬁrst choice. Fill out an application & guarantor form, bring ID & bank a/c Once approved we need • 1st wks rent • Sign the Tenancy Agreement

Ben O’Connell

Alex McNicoll

Brendain Hennessy

Holly Rose Hunt

GENERAL EXECUTIVE CANDIDATES Ben O’Connell—for a change of pace that’s a long time coming, for a more inclusive and engaging online presence, for further transparency between the USCA and students.   I study media and business on account of my huge passion for online media / marketing. This degree path means I’m advocating for diversity and vibrancy within the UCSA’s own online presence; promoting every facet of university life, and improving the noticeboards both on campus and online. Honestly, if I see another “flat-mate wanted” post, I’ll explode.   Having been CANTA’s deputy editor for

Hey UC, my name is Alex McNicoll and I’ m running to be part of your USCA’s General Exec with the Common Ground campaign. I’m in my second year of battling through a Mechanical Engineering degree even though I consistently consider switching to Fine arts degree in photography because surely the courses are cross creditable. I love skiing and I’m really disappointed so far that this season at Mt Hutt has been pretty bad. Instead I have been trying to re-spark the interest I once had for photography and digital art, as well as spending my time in the rock-climbing gym trying not to look like the scrawny

Yeah nah gidday, I’m Brendain. Running for the UCSA General Exec with a wonderful group of people as a part of the Common Ground campaign. Fun facts about me, my last name is Hennessy just like the alcohol, I’m a bit of a wine maker in my spare time and my first university job was driving a pub crawl around town on a beercycle. Sweet covered the top three: spirits, wine and beer. On a less alcohol related note, I love to throw a frisbee round, read an excessive number of books and learning nominal skills like juggling and doing the dishes. Also, currently in my 2nd professional year of Electrical Engineering.

almost a year, I understand what it means to share student voices and put myself out there. This position has also given me an intimate relationship with the UCSA. If elected, I’m confident that I already have a firm basis to start with—which will aid my policy implementation.   With exchanges to both China and South America, positions on a handful of club execs, and a year-long unbroken MONO streak under my belt, I like to think I have a well-rounded cultural understanding of what goes on at UC (for a white man).   Vote Ben O’Connell for General Executive or I’ll shut down the Internet. Try me.

year 11 I once was. As part of the Common Ground team we believe and strive towards common goals. We have spent many late nights talking about potential projects and Goals we want to strive towards. I truly believe that our policies will positively affect life at the university and bring people together. Exam Night Feeds Professor Tech Project Haere-roa Embody Manaakitanga Hassle-Free Degree(s) VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

UC has become a second home for me since I moved down from the north island. Absolutely froth it down here and super keen to do my bit. Privileged to be apart of a campaign with a bunch of like minded people. Here are the collective policies of Common Ground. Project Haere-roa Embody Manaakitanga Exam Night Feeds Professor Tech Hassle-Free Degree(s) VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

Here at UC I’ve found myself on common ground in a space where I can be technical

This is reflected in our policies: Exam Night Feeds Professor Tech Project Haere-roa Embody Manaakitanga Hassle-Free Degree(s) We would be privileged to get your vote.

Hi guys, my name is Holly Rose Hunt and I am way too excited to be running for General Exec for 2020 as part of the common ground campaign. Growing up in Christchurch, I had my dreams set on being a ballerina. Later realising I was way too ghetto for that, I moved into becoming a fully trained urban hiphop teacher and performer. But let’s be honest… I am too much of a geek to fit that single description, so I found myself at UC studying Product Design, a new engineering based degree.

and creative simultaneously. I want to run for USCA to assist and encourage students to develop who they are, by being immersed in a diverse and inclusive environment here at UC.

Kim Fowler

GENERAL EXECUTIVE CANDIDATES â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kia ora team, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Kim, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m running for the UCSA because I think I have the skills and passion to represent you.â&#x20AC;Ż Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been representing youth on youth councils around the country for the last five years, and I reckon I can use what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learnt through that to be a great UCSA executive member. I care about: Increasing the wellbeing of students around the UC (we need more access to counselling!) The UCSA and UC becoming more sustainable and eco friendly Kia ora! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Cleo Vernon and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m running for the UCSA General Exec for 2020, alongside my running partner, Emily Mulally, for Equity and Wellbeing Representative. I am currently in my third year of Commerce, spending these 3 years immersed in the UC experience through our club culture, equality activism, and the ever-present mono nights.

Cleo Vernon

The introduction of Haere Roa has allowed us to create a new and innovative look on the UC student experience. We aspire to utilise this building to create an inclusive, vibrant and welcoming environment as we take a holistic approach to student wellbeing, where all can thrive and feel at home.â&#x20AC;Ż

Hey team, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Tayla Macbeth and am excited to be running for your General Exec in 2020. Not only do I have the support of an amazing team under the Common Ground campaign but would love to have the support of all of you too! So, a little bit about myself! I am from Nelson, left two years ago to study Law and Commerce, am a sucker for spin, high key a nerd but also loves a dusty lecture every now and then and oh did I mention I do law?

Sup team, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Isaac and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m running to be part of the general exec. Wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind your vote tbh. I am running under the common ground campaign, an initiative to better support student life. I was born and raised in Christchurch, yeah, I never went to a hall. However, absolutely love UC! Between walking aimlessly around campus to find somebody who is up for a yarn, having a regular boogie at mono and shooting some hoops at the rec centre, I study law and arts as 2nd year student. I am on the Exec for the Emerging Leaders Development Programme and also work for the NgÄ i Tahu Research Centre in the Maori Department. You may see some of

Issac Schimanski

I have a massive passion for growth on a personal level and a community level, leading me to be a part of the Student Executive for Emerging Leaders Development Programme, UC Women in Law and UC Amateur Sports Society

Tayla Macbeth

Making it easier for students to have input on UCSA policy (I want to listen to you!) Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m heading into the last year of a chemistry degree, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d hope to hold the science portfolio if I was elected. If you want to ask me any questions, flick me an email atâ&#x20AC;Żkfo49@uclive.ac.nzâ&#x20AC;Żđ&#x;&#x2DC;&#x160;â&#x20AC;Ż Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be keen to chat! Kim Fowlerâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;Ż And my photo is attached. â&#x20AC;Ż Thanks so much!!

Our policies centre around student safety both on and off campus, growing our knowledge of the real world outside UC think understanding legal jargon thrown into tenancy agreements, knowing your rights, financial advice and budgeting classes. We also want to bring back nostalgia in a big way by recreating the famous Hot Dub Time Machine event to end Semester One with a bang! A final blow out before study leave and exams ensue, showcasing songs from every decade and genre of music, winding into one expansive, electrifying, music history lesson. Vote MULLALY VERNON.

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; all different on surface level but have a common goal of developing students and UC as a whole. Voting for Common Ground is voting for an executive who supports student success and understands this can be influential in different forms, therefore, we seek to cover 5 key areas: Hassle-Free Degree(s) Exam Night Feeds Professor Tech Project Haere-roa Embody Manaakitanga If this sounds like youâ&#x20AC;Ś VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

my moves at the up and coming law revue production. The common ground campaign is running on the following policies! Exam Night Feeds, Professor Tech Project Haere-roa Embody Manaakaitanga Hassle-Free Degree(s) We realise there is a bit of niggle and separation around campus. We wanna provide solutions! We are stoked to present you these policies and hope you can provide us with the opportunity to make them happen! VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

EQUITY AND WELLBEING REPRESENTATIVE CANDIDATES

Georgina Dibble Hi everyone! My name is Georgie and I am super excited to be running for the role of equity and wellbeing rep as a part of the Common Ground campaign. I am currently a second-year commerce student majoring in Finance, International Business and Management. Originally from Auckland (let’s keep that a secret), I decided to move down here because it seemed like a really cool place to be a part of. I’ve absolutely loved my time at UC so far, so I’m really enthusiastic to potentially play a part in making it that little bit better. Inclusivity and ensuring

that everyone has the best possible time are things that I believe are super important, so this is definitely something that is reflected within our campaign. As a group, our collective policies are: •Exam Night Feeds •Professor Tech •Project Haere-roa •Embody Manaakitanga •Hassle-Free Degree(s) VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

Charlotte Merrall Kia ora team, I’m Charlotte Merrall, and I want to be your Equity and Wellbeing Representative for 2020. After a year on the general exec, I want to step up into this role in an area I’m so passionate about. Student wellbeing is a cause close to my heart, after my own mental health issues landed me in hospital this year. I truly believe that every student deserves support in a time of crisis. I want UC to meet students ¾ of the way, because sometimes you can’t make it to half. I will strengthen UC’s support services and ensure their accessibility. I will decrease

the stigma around asking for help, because asking for help should be as normal as needing it. While I do have my own experiences, I know they aren’t the same as yours. Equity issues are different for everyone, and we each have unique experiences with gender, race, sexual orientation, and disability. I want to hear your experiences, then work to make them better. You shouldn’t need to be on your own for the journey of University. I’ll be in your corner, cheering you on all the way. Vote Merrall for Equity and Wellbeing Representative.

Emily Mullaly Hi all! I’m Emily, a fourth-year Law and Arts Student running for your Equity and Wellbeing Representative, alongside Cleo Vernon for General Executive. Working with the Equity and Wellbeing advisory group with the current Rep has shown me how vast the needs of students really and ways in which we can help meet those needs. I am heavily involved in the club scene through Thursday’s in Black, which has highlighted the importance of Clubs working alongside the UCSA to promote student safety and wellbeing. Adulting is hard, and there are so many

things that school doesn’t teach you, but life expects you to know. How to budget? Can a Landlord really do that? If us students don’t know enough, we risk getting taken advantage of. I want to create an online resource with general legal and financial advice to prevent things going wrong, but also show what services are available when things do. Check out our Facebook page to find out more about our policies. Vote MULLALY VERNON to create an inclusive environment where students feel safe and supported to take chances and be exactly who they want to. Not only now, but for those who will come after.

POST-GRADUATE REPRESENTATIVE CANDIDATES

Cam Eade

Kia ora UC! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cam Eade and I am super hyped to be running as part of the Common Ground campaign as your UCSA Postgraduate Representative for 2020! Three quick things about me: I was born in Invercargill (don’t mind my sixth toe); I am an absolute feen for long blacks; and I once accidentally called my (male) primary school teacher ‘Mum’. Currently in my fifth year studying law and politics, I plan on earning my campus gold-card by returning for a sixth next year as a postgraduate. I am passionate about people and absolutely love the diversity and community vibes UC has. As we begin to settle into Haere Roa, I want to ensure our campus thrives as a place

not just to attend class, but for students to hang out and enjoy. This is especially true for postgraduate students. I’d like to make sure Haere Roa is as inclusive and welcoming for postgrads as it is for undergrads, as a common space for all of us. The collective policies of Common Ground are: Exam Night Feeds Professor Tech Project Haere-roa Embody Manaakitanga Hassle-Free Degree(s) VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www.commonground2020.net

George Stilwell Hi I’m George, I am currently studying towards a PhD in Mechanical Engineering. I began my studies at UC in back 2014 after moving down south from the metropolis of Ngatea. I completed my degree in Mechanical Engineering in 2017 and started my PhD in 2018. My PhD project focuses on understanding and modelling upper body strength of people with C5-C7 tetraplegia. Its aim is to better understand the upper body strength of people with tetraplegia to assist in the design of rehabilitative, assistive and mobility devices. During my time at university, I have always strived to get the

best university experience possible. I have been involved with a variety of university clubs including exec/leadership roles with UC Hockey, Engineers without Borders and the UC Brewing Club. My hobbies include sports (with running, hockey and cricket being in my top 3), tramping and outdoors, photography, music (mainly mono) and travel. Having 6 years of university culture under my belt, I believe I am in a good position to add diversity to the UCSA. The position of Post-Graduate Representative on the UCSA will enable me to help ensure all student voices are heard and represented.

EQUITY AND WELLBEING REPRESENTATIVE CANDIDATES

Nuha Fathina Assalamu Alaikum and Kia ora! My name is Nuha Fathina and I am running for the Equity and Wellbeing Rep and General Executive positions.    I’m in my fourth year of a double degree in Law and Criminal Justice and am a Youth Councillor for Shakti Women’s Refuge. Through my work I have an aim to uplift as many people as I can from all walks of life.    A belief of mine is that diversity and acceptance is the essence of a great society. Celebrating who we are and what we do on a daily basis is not only important for our wellbeing but essential for our mental health.

I grew up in Wellington but chose to bring the party to Christchurch for the chance to experience  an amazing university culture, UC you didn’t disappoint!   I want everybody to experience the amazing culture UC has to offer so I propose Culture Splashes -  inclusive events that brings together art, performances and food from all student communities whether it be, Māori and Pasifika groups, LGBTQIA+, Ethnic groups, Artists or Musicians. You never know what you might discover! Why do I care? Because “Diversity is the spice of life!”

FINANCE AND ENGAGEMENT OFFICER CANDIDATE While the UCSA is so much more than a business, ensuring the health of our organisation’s finances is instrumental to serving our student body. As the great lyricist Snoop Dog once said, if it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense. With $3M raised of the $5M shortfall on our new home, Haere-roa, the 2020 UCSA needs strong financial leadership to ensure the momentum of this fundraising effort is continued with relentless stamina. Boasting an operating expenditure of almost 11M in the 2018 financial year, ensuring the UCSA retains a strong financial foundation in 2020 will have direct and tangible benefits to student wellbeing. Backed by 11 students hailing from every corner of campus, Common Ground is a campaign that champions the diverse experiences and skillsets of individuals, centred around a common vision. Our vision is that every member of our student body would find and know their place on this campus, on this Common Ground.

Jack Whittam

Kia Ora - I’m Jack, and I’m running on the Common Ground campaign to be your Finance and Engagement Officer for 2020! Finance and Engagement you ask? That sounds fresher than a tube of Colgate? Well that’s because it is. In 2019, we recognised the Finance Officer does so much more than battle with balance sheets – it’s a wicked hybrid of financial stewardship and external engagement. As a 4th year Law and Commerce student, I’ve seen more spreadsheets this year than I’ve seen my own mother (sorry mum). From co-founding CurrySoc, to acting as the Service Director on the Emerging Leader’s Scholarship Programme, I am unashamed in my love for engaging with our student body. I’ve also had the honour of representing you on the 2019 UCSA Exec as your Equity and Wellbeing Representative. This combination of financial literacy, tangible student engagement, and UCSA experience places me in the best position to champion this newly redefined roll.

Here’s how we will achieve this: Embody Manaakitanga - Championing hospitality and collaboration amongst diverse groups on campus. Project Haere-roa - Curating a strategy that ensures Haereroa is a hub for student belonging. Exam Night Feeds - Late night, affordable food options during exam time. Professor Tech - A charger library and video series for simple tech solutions. Hassle Free Degree(s) - Online tools to support simplified degree planning. Want to meet us on Common Ground in 2020? VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www. commonground2020.net

INTERNATIONAL REPRESENTATIVE CANDIDATE

Derrick Edwards Hey everyone! My name is Derrick Edward and I’m excited to be running for the UCSA International Representative as part of the Common Ground campaign. I’m a third year BE (Hons) student specialising in Computer Engineering. Originally born in India, I moved to Auckland when I was just a year old and decided to come down to Christchurch to study at UC. As a result, it has been the best time making friends and forming unforgettable memories. My hobbies include tech and space, as well as playing basketball, piano and poker. A personal philosophy of mine is the quality of your life is determined by the people you hang out with, and if you surround yourself with diverse characters, you will have experiences and gain a perspective you could have never imagined. I love to travel and meet people from all walks of life, hence my drive to represent the international community

at UC. Common ground envisions a future of everyone belonging and succeeding. Our policies include; Exam Night Feeds Professor Tech Project Haere-roa (UCSA Building) Embody Manaakitanga (Club Integration) Hassle-Free Degree(s) VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www.commonground2020. net

VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES Why am I running to be your Vice President? Christchurch has been my home for 22 years but it is here at the University of Canterbury where I have found a place to belong. For me, belonging isn’t just about finding someone who has the same coffee order as you, or listens to the same music. Belonging is about finding people who share a common ground but also challenge you with new approaches and new ideas.

Katie Mills Hello! I’m Katie Mills and I’m racing to be your UCSA Vice President in 2020 alongside the Common Ground campaign. To kick things off, here are some highlights from my CV:

After spending a year on the UCSA, I’ve seen the power of finding belonging in a diverse community. Furthermore, the Common Ground campaign sees the opportunity the UCSA has in fostering this belonging. With the opening of Haereroa the stage has been set (literally) for bringing student belonging and collaboration to new heights. Connecting diverse people in pursuit of common goals are what drives the campaign. Collaboration sits at the core of belonging. We want to put collaboration at the core of Canterbury’s student culture. Common Ground recognises common goals with collaborative and creative solutions. So what does that look like in action? Here’s our key policies: Embody Manaakitanga - Supporting hospitality and collaboration amongst diverse groups on campus. Project Haere-roa - Ensuring Haere-roa is a hub for student belonging, now and into the future.

Technical skills: Karaoke. Languages: Academic, Casual, 2007 txting (0mg lmaoooo :-)) Experience: Head Student Papanui High School 2015. Natural Habitat: Dance Floor at the back (space to groove) Aesthetic: Novelty hats and Sunglasses. By day, I study towards a Master’s of International Relations and Diplomacy and sit on the UCSA as the Postgraduate rep. By night, I binge watch thrillers and reality T.V (yes, that includes Love Island). On the weekend, I’m a retail stylist, cafe squatter, gallery hopper and tequila connoisseur. Finally, I’m a full-time nerd.

Exam Night Feeds - Late night, affordable food options during exam time. Professor Tech - A charger library and a video series for simple tech solutions. Hassle Free Degree(s) - Online tools to support simplified degree planning.

Want to meet us on Common Ground in 2020? VOTE COMMON GROUND 2020 // www.commonground2020. net

My name is Te Ana Lee Smith, I am a second year student, studying a Bachelor of Health Science, majoring in Psychology. I was born in Manly, Sydney, Australia and moved to New Zealand shortly before turning 9. I’m a very outgoing, enthusiastic, motivated and driven person, I am of Ngāpuhi and Ngāti Maniapoto descent. My end goal is to be a trauma surgeon, to devote most of my career doing humanitarian aid work and working with search and rescue. Prior to studying I served 5 and a half years in the Royal New Zealand Navy as an engineer, specifically a weapons technician.

TeAna Lee Smith

I think that with my experience in the Navy, I would be able to bring a fresh perspective, humour and lots of stories to the UCSA Executive team. I have so many great ideas for the university and would love to represent the study body and be a happy face that they could be comfortable talking to and voicing their opinions to. Thank you,

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Tori McNoe Kia ora koutou! Tori McNoe here. I’d be honoured to snag your vote to be the UCSA President in 2020. I’m also currently serving as the Vice President in 2019, a role that has made me so passionate about UCSA! Born, raised and barely educated in Temuka, I took my leap of faith to UC in 2015 and I have never felt smarter. What I love about UC is our electric clubs community, our absolute smorgasbord of degrees and of course, a good Savage concert. I’m currently working toward a Bachelor of Criminal Justice and a Bachelor of Arts. Why am I running for President? This year, we’re shaking the game with a campaign called Common Ground. Working within the UCSA this year has seen various challenging times and epic momentum. Mostly, it has highlighted that belonging is different for everyone. We know belonging is more than having your own community, it’s also about how that community is included and respected here on campus. 11 members strong, Common Ground has a mission to break silo’s, deliver on a common goal and create a table that EVERYONE has a seat at. I’m a feign for students and UC’s unique culture, and feel it is super important to preserve that. Next year, we’re looking at a blank canvas on our common ground, Haere-roa (UCSA Building). How and what we use this space for could change the entire trajectory of the student experience now and in the future. We also know there are ways to create inclusive

communities through solving common problems we all face. We’re striving to deliver 5 things to serve this vision: Exam Night Feeds We want to introduce late-night food options here on campus during exam time. Affordable, time-saving and certainly guaranteed to get you at least a C+. Professor Tech Did you know you a terabyte of cloud storage? How many times have you forgotten your charger and not had time to go and get it? Presenting: Prof. Tech. regular tech support, video series, and a Charger Library to ensure Tech don’t wreck your life. Project Haere-roa Currently, we’re figuring out YOUR building. We feel that the building could use a strategy that outlines the ways we use the building in the future. Think values-based, a document that helps to decide on people and activations to occur that keep the building relevant and centered on you. Embody Manaakitanga (Hospitality) How can we be more hospitable to our communities? How do we create new and more inclusive activation?. Think all the womens clubs coming together to create a pink ribbon breakfast? We’ll introduce: Supreme clubs collab Award, club Mixers and club grants for collaborative events. Secondly, we believe there is scope to

present more diverse events celebrating different communities. Chinese New Year markets? A Matariki Bonfire? Or a pride parade for our rainbow community? Hassle-Free Degree(s) We know how difficult our degrees already are, let alone all of the little admin tasks on top of getting your degree sorted. UCSA Academic Portfolios give us scope to make all of these tasks easier by: Creating an online course Advisor Centralising Tutor database’s By voting Common Ground, you can have confidence in the momentum we already have toward this vision. The wheels are certainly in motion - all we need is your vote to get it across the line.

Want to meet us on Common Ground in 2020? Tori McNoe Katie Mills Jack Whittam Cam Eade Georgie Dibble Derrick Edward Isaac Schmanski Tayla Macbeth Alex McNicoll Brendain Hennessy Holly Rose Hunt VOTE COMMON GROUND 2O20 // www.commonground2020.net

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Nick Kennedy Kia Ora Friends, I’m Nick Kennedy and I am running for President of the UCSA for 2020. In 2014 I started my journey at this University as a wide-eyed fresher, excited and keen for new opportunities. I took up a role as the Vice-President of the University Hall Students Association and since then have had an active role in this University’s awesome club scene, currently sitting as Musician Development Rep on the Tunesoc

Executive and Utilities Manager on ENSOC. Although I am in my final summester of my Bachelor of Chemical Engineering, my time at Uni has not always been smooth sailing. Throughout the entirety of my degree I have been fighting to control a serious health condition called Crohn’s Disease. In 2016 this reared its ugly head and I had to take the year off University to give my body time to heal and recover. This year off culminated in a 2 month stay in Dunedin hospital. During this time I never imagined I would make it back to University to finish my degree, let

alone be in a position today to be running for the President of the UCSA. Time and time again I have proven to myself that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. This University has helped to shape who I am as person, not just from an academic standpoint. I have met so many amazing people throughout my time here and have had the opportunities to do so many amazing things. I am passionate about this University, the UCSA and all that comes with it and I want to ensure that my fellow students have the best experience they can during their time at UC

2019

CANDIDATE BOOKLET

All blurbs and photos are printed as supplied Voting opens Wednesday 14th August - Friday 16th August