C A N TA HOW TO:
ELECTION
THE UC CRANE:
DUMPSTER DIVE
COVERAGE
A FAREWELL
I S S U E
T H I R T E E N
/
T E K A U
M A
T O R U
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9 T H
O C T
2 0 1 7
SKIP DAY To celebrate the arrival of Spring, we kick started a spring cleaning mission on campus; the UCSA Skip Day was on October 1st, and we managed to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff for you! Hopefully your flats / cars / bedrooms are considerably lacking in recycling, rubbish and unused clothing. Stay tuned for the next Skip Day – it’s totally free! VOLUNTEERING WITH THE UCSA Volunteering with the UCSA is a great way to get involved on campus, and meet some great new people. You can do a bit of everything; from setting up and packing out to ticketing and playing giant games with students and your fellow volunteer crew. It is great experience for your CV, and you may even get the chance to enjoy some of our events too! Take a look at our events calendar here: http:// www.ucsa.org.nz/events/events-calendar/ This will show you all the cool events that you could be involved in. If you want to be a part of our awesome events, and work with some awesome people, fill out the form at http://www.ucsa.org.nz/events/ volunteering/ and we will be in touch with more info about our cool opportunities. The countdown is on for Tea Party! At the time of printing, there’s still about 80 combo tickets left. If you’ve already bought your ticket to Tea Party, check your emails. You might be eligible for a discount off Hot Dub! EWAG (Equity and Wellbeing Advisory Group) Are you passionate about ensuring your Students’ Association is representative of all students? Do you want to help the Executive create a campus where everyone is welcome and can succeed and belong? Well then, the UCSA
Equity Wellbeing Advisory Group is for you. The UCSA Equity Wellbeing Advisory Group (EWAG) will help to ensure all students have a voice within the UCSA, will create a sense of belonging on campus for all student communities, and well specifically aim to further develop diversity and inclusivity in the UCSA’s decision making. The EWAG is a UCSA-lead committee and will be co-chaired by the UCSA Vice President and the UCSA Equity and Wellbeing representative. The Committee will consist of between 7 and 14 student members total. Who Can Apply? Anyone can apply. However, as per Schedule 1 of the UCSA EWAG charter, the UCSA is seeking representation from students who identify with or have an interest in the specific areas outlined below. The Vice president and Equity and Wellbeing representative will sit alongside seven permanent seats, in addition to the up to five non-permanent seats for other areas that may be of interest in any given year. We are looking for: Te Akatoki President or Delegate Pasifika Community Students with disabilities Mature students Womens’ rights LGBTQIA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer, Intersex, Asexual +) International fee paying students Representatives from International Clubs Representatives from the general student body If you feel you can contribute to helping UCSA better represent and celebrate a diverse students body through constructive conversation and an action orientated work program please email studentwellbeing@ucsa.org for more information.
UCSA.ORG.NZ
UCSA DEALS
in this issue 14
FL AT FA MOUS: THE TEAPOT
20
HOW TO: DUMPSTER DIVE IN CHCH
22
HARD YARDS: TITANIC
28
POST ELECTION QUESTIONS WITH UCPOLS
34
LUCK Y DIP: THE FINALE
Editor’s note Yeah, I know, I’m jumping the gun here with a Halloween themed cover. Hear me out though: it’s technically Halloween month, and this issue is unlucky number 13. It’s our last issue for the year! Well done on lasting the uni year. A reallife year is another quarter or so long, so good luck if you’re venturing out into the real world, with early morning starts and full days, and shared lunches and boring colleague’s weekend stories. I’m not bitter, I promise.
We’ve really turned out some fantastic issues of CANTA this year, and it’s thanks to some amazing contributors. I started the year on my own, and we now have over fifty contributors who are involved in the magazine. See you in February. I’m off to crawl into a hollowed-out moose carcass, covering my withered corpse in wet leaves and clay to regenerate over the break. I guess you’ll do the same? BooOOooOO! –JOSHUA
This issue’s contributors
Robert Brownlee
Java Katzur
Spanky Moore
George Moon
Lewis Hoban
Reo Roy
Hayden Slaughter
Hinerangi Curtis
02
Letters to the Editor LETTER FROM UNCLE Dear CANTA, With this being the last CANTA for months, can you please provide some tips on how I’m supposed to cope without my fortnightly CANTA fix? Sincerely, I-only-look-at-CANTA-for-theSnapchats Oh YOU. We love our brown noser fans. We have a website and social medias... we’ll keep them updated. Maybe. Come visit me, I’ll be busy setting rat traps for dinner and swimming in The Shilling Club garden. – CANTA
she’s hot w/e but there are so many other talented musicians. Let’s take the Veronicas, Australia’s national treasures. They haven’t gotten as much recognition and I think it’s really stupid!!! i have seen so many memes about how she’s queen and it drives me insane how people absolutely worship her! She doesn’t even seem that nice, UGH!!!!! I’ll also take this opportunity to plug a band who are really decent and who u should go see, Same Name Confusion. OK, I’m not sponsored, I just believe in good music Yours sincerely I only listen to indie music #halsey I feel like someone at Ilam Primary got hold of a copy of CANTA. Someone out there is littering, and is responsible for this. We reached out to BeyonSoc for comment. The following image is their response. – CANTA
Regards, Hope Hello! CANTA relies heavily on student submissions, including columns. We aim to include a variation of columns in CANTA - in the past few issues we have had columns from Spanky, the University chaplain as well. We also have included a few one-off pieces. We also have our club pages where we have profiled everything from Pro Life to the Baha’i. FemSoc have their column in every issue because they consistently provide content for me to include. In short; if you want it in CANTA, then write it. It’s your magazine, from your university. I’ll happily work with anyone who wants to provide content as long as it’s 1) inclusive 2) not sexist or racist and 3) submitted on time, with careful consideration to content. Do it!! :) – Joshua
BEY HATE Dear CANTA, I have had something inside of me for a while that I’ve really needed to say, so I’m going to go out and say it. I absolutely hate Beyoncé, i think she is by far the most overrated musician ever to date! like all the drama with her and TSwift and Kanye back in the day is SO EXTRA because she isn’t even that good. I’M SORRY I hate how people call her Queen B! it actually gives me stress levels of a million and i think we need to address the fact our Uni has a Beyonsoc and reevaluate how other musicians who are definitely better don’t get acknowledged. Like, yeah she’s good, yeah
educated about our faith, and how faith is often vastly different to what is portrayed in the media, and other assumptions. My entire reasoning like the FemSoc writer is not necessarily to convert anyone, but to educate and to help people to understand our beliefs in God and His hope for us.
HOPE VS FEMSOC Kia Ora, Throughout the year we have had submissions from FemSoc. The beliefs of the writer aligns with some but not all of the uni community, therefore, I believe that it would be appropriate for another portion of the population to have a submission in each issue next year. From the UC chaplain, or from another faith representative, who can tackle the misunderstandings of faith. As a Christian, I wish for non-Christians to be
03
Hi Canta, The Foundry is like a chiller. I’m not talking about the temperature. It’s the staff. I’ve never encountered anyone nice in there at all. Am I doing something wrong here or is it just generally an unfriendly place to be? I’m not an outcast. I’m not an adult student. I fit the demographic of the bar. I just find it to be extremely unwelcoming and unfriendly. This is where I send a shout out to The Shilling Club. Once you get over the feel of it being a ‘teacher’s only lounge’, the staff are really friendly and the food is decent.
Dumplings Club. You’re right, they’re really dumplings at being dumplings. What? – CANTA
WEE OOH WEE OOH TITTIE POLICE! CANTA, Did you realise there was a bare breast in the Flat Famous last issue? Not cool. Grossed Out Oh, fuck off. It’s a tit. A fun picture, and a consensual one at that. It was basically three pixels. Bye. – CANTA
UC’s Gordon Ramsay Hi Gordon, I get where you’re coming from. Let’s put it down to The Foundry being in a temporary building, I guess. 2019 will be the birth of the new UCSA building, and a new Foundry. Mark it in your calendar and stay home until then? I’m the worst at advice. P.S I’ll pass on your compliments to the dumplings from The
2018: RENT WITH YOUR OWN ENSUITE
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L e tte r s to th e Edi t o r
GORDON RAMSAY GOES OFF
04
LOCAL news
PREDICTING VOTER INTENTION WITH FACEBOOK LIKES
A
University of Canterbury researcher has found a simple and accurate way of predicting voter intention – and it may come down to a single Facebook ‘like’. Jakob Bæk Kristensen, a PhD student in the Media and Communication department of UC Arts, has co-written a paper that has been published in the academic journal PLOS ONE, Parsimonious data: How a single Facebook like predicts voting behaviour in multiparty systems. His original research reveals new information about
UC FALCONS – NATIONAL CHAMPS!
what it is possible to tell about voters’ intentions using only publicly available data from Facebook. The effects of social media on politics is still a fairly unexplored area, Jakob says. “We leave digital traces behind whenever we click on something on the web. This research shows that a person’s political ‘likes’ on Facebook can predict the party they vote for with fairly high accuracy,” he says. “Marketing firms, such as the infamous Cambridge Analytica, which claim to have secured the victory of Donald Trump and the Brexit campaign, are attributing their abilities to the predictive powers of big and broad data.” The recipient of the UC Doctoral Scholarship, Jakob says his research shows that only very little, publicly available data is needed in order to predict which way someone will vote. “Our research shows that by liking politicians’ public Facebook posts, a person’s voting intention can be predicted with a fairly high accuracy in a multiparty system,” he says. Jakob, who is from Denmark and conducted his original research with a social sciences colleague at the University of Copenhagen, is currently working on an interactive interface where these results can be viewed.
Big scorers for UC: Josh Petermann 25 points, 7 assists Zacc Dwan 16 points, 10 rebounds Paul Stephenson 15 points 11 rebounds Joshua Chin 14 points Simon Reeves 12 points Ben Anderson 12 points The final score was 101-90. Huge game from the boys!
T
he UC Men’s basketball team have taken out the National Championships! The UC Falcons took on Lincoln University recently in the finals of the University and Tertiary Sport NZ Basketball Championships at Cowles Stadium, under the guidance of Coach Piet Van Hasselt. Both teams went through to the final as second seeds in their pools- UC had a tight loss to Auckland on a last-minute shot, and Otago had upset Lincoln which were favorites after winning in 2016 in their pool. The game was ‘very back and forth’ according to spectators, with the lead changing twenty five times throughout the match.
05
Who is it for? The Sport Academy is for anyone who is competing at regional level or higher, either through UC or through their club. You can apply through our website and we have a very broad range of sportspeople. Tom MacKintosh was recently part of the NZ U23 team to Rowing World Champs, Tayla Bruce with NZ Lawn Bowls, Nikolai Molijn who plays for the Canterbury Dragons, Kiri Atkin a NZ Age Group Triathlete, Jaime Prebble an NZ Ski-Cross Skier and Bridget Kiddle who debuted for the Blacksticks this year. With our program looking to expand next year we hope to have plenty more sports represented.
L
ast week, I sat down with Mark Drury and Grant Robertson from UC Sport to discuss the Sports Academy, and the exciting new developments in sport at UC. So what are the new developments all about? We want to make sport a bigger and better part of Uni life. After high-school there is a dramatic drop off in sport and we want to make sure we provide as many opportunities as possible to play sport and keep physcially active. Our new developments are about filling the gap between our awesome social sport programme and the higher level competitive end so that more students can enjoy playing sport while they study. The Sport Academy is a big part of that, it’s a program which from next year we hope to support a greater number of UC students to continue to pursue their respective sport while they study. There are a huge amount of sportspeople at Canterbury, so we’re also continuing to strengthen competitive sport at UC so everyone can get involved. UC sports teams are now being entered into the renewed National University sport events under the Falcons brand and compete as UC Falcons when playing for one of our teams. Wow, so how what does the Sports Academy provide? The Academy supports students throughout their entire time at UC with coaching, nutrition, training programs, injury prevention and sport psychology, but it’s about more than that. Going from high school to tertiary study can be a pretty big change for most students, but if you’re an athlete it can be even bigger. People who compete in their sport often have structures to help them balance their busy schedule, mainly their school, clubs and family. Once they transition to University a lot of that structure can disappear, it can be tough to maintain training on top of studies and a new social life, when it gets too much to handle sport is often the first thing to go. This program is about taking a holistic approach to student life. We help athletes find a balance so that they can continue to compete while achieving academic goals. Learning how to balance training and study can be a valuable skill which sets them up for life.
What about those of us who aren’t in rep teams? Our aim is to provide UC students with opportunities to compete in sport at every level right through their time at UC. We want to make sport a bigger part of Uni life, by getting more people playing sport and keeping physcially active, and of course more people supporting at games. We’re now partnered with University and Tertiary Sport New Zealand(UTSNZ), a central body which is aimed at developing competitive sport at the tertiary level. We already have some great competitive teams, our men’s Basketball team just won the national competition last week and our women’s Sevens team won the title in earlier in March, so we are starting off really well. As a pinnacle, many of our students will have increasing opportunties to attend International events such as World University games/championships. Finally, Who is Tapuae? Tapuae is our mascot, the UC Falcon. He was selected by students in our mascot competition last year. The Falcons are what all our teams are known as when competing at University and Tertiary Sports NZ events and will brand across all of our sport programmes for 2018. Students can become a Falcons supporter by getting some sweet Falcon merchandise on our website. Where can I learn more? http://www.canterbury.ac.nz/sport/ https://www.instagram.com/ucsport https://www.facebook.com/ucsport Falcons apparel - online store https://www.ucfalcons.co.nz Add UC Sport on Snapchat! Robert Brownlee
Local news
UNIVERSIT Y OF CANTERBURY SPORTS ACADEMY
In loving memory
UC Crane 2015 - 2017 The UC Crane, beloved resident of the University of Canterbury passed away in late September. Worshipped by many, the ever-present guardian watched over the campus for just over two years, achieving many things in its short life. Highlights include being nominated for UCSA President in 2015, featuring in news articles in The Press and getting over 4000 followers on its own Facebook page. Despite the all-too-sudden nature of its departure, the UC Crane was fittingly farewelled by hundreds on a sunny spring day, with speeches from UCSA President James Addington, and musical tributes from a bugle player, TuneSoc, and four kazoo players playing a rousing and inspiring
rendition of the national anthem. Many students also chose to write about their treasured memories on post-it notes, which will be preserved by the Students’ Association so that future generations can understand the guidance and support provided by the UC Crane, to a campus that is still healing from the earthquakes. UC Crane: Gone too soon but always in our hearts and minds. [Note: The UC Health Centre provides counselling services for those that need help with their grief at this time By George Moon
Final words from the Crane’s dearest loved ones.
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club promoter Profiling the best clubs and events on campus
Submit your club to be featured in CANTA | < 300 WORDS | 3x PICS |canta.editor@gmail.com
IEEE UC The Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers (IEEE) University of Canterbury Branch is a subset of the international IEEE organisation. Our members consist of students from Electrical, Computer, Software and Mechatronics Engineering as well as Computer Science. As an affiliate of the international IEEE, the Student Branch runs a successful program of events throughout the year that develop professional engineering skills and strengthen the interface between students and industry. We also understand that studying can be fairly unexciting at the best of times so we also throw down a few events with free brews to keep things running smoothly. Events UC IEEE offers includes: Industry Tours, CV and Interview skill seminars, Quiz Nights, BBQ’s, LAN Nights and international programming challenges. Our most esteemed event is our Mock Interviews; this is where you get a chance to be interviewed by some of the big names in the industry with no strings attached. We invite companies from across the country to come and conduct one-on-one interviews with our student members and provide feedback on their performance. We also provide almost all of our events free of charge so bang for buck is second to none! Membership to the IEEE Student
Branch is automatic when you sign up to join the IEEE organisation. For first time members, the fee is half price is heavily subsidised by UC IEEE for returning members. IEEE is a significantly beneficial organisation to be a part of for young professionals so if you’re keen on joining head along to www.ieee.org and check out our Facebook page by searching ‘ucieeesb’ to keep up to date with what we’re up to!
PONGSOC PongSoc was founded in 2016 with the intention of providing the platform to allow individuals and teams to realise their sporting dreams in beer pong. With the recent PongSoc AGM, and election of the 2018 executives, the future holds many magical and illustrious events. PONGSOC FINAL Prime athletes have prevailed and shone throughout the preliminary rounds of the singles and doubles events. Now comes the time to identify the true champions, the individuals who possess the capacity to hold their nerve and channel their energy. facebook.com/PongSoc/
09
Although the year is nearly over, we at the newly-formed UC Photography Club are squeezing in an event in anyway, so get your walking shoes on and join us for our central-city photography walk! No need to have any experience at all,
just bring yourself, a camera and a willingness to get involved. ‘ Let’s make the most of our growing city and enjoy a beautiful Spring day before exam season rolls in. If you’re keen on the event, or want to get involved with this awesome new club,
then contact us on the email below, or find our event page on FB for more information. Can’t wait to see you there! photographyclubuc@gmail.com
C lub Prom oter
UC PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB
10 17
UC ENTREPRENEURS THE TINDER KILLER What was the motivation behind making the app? We all reckon there’s an epidemic of ‘swipe fatigue’ going around. That’s why we built Rendezvous. Elliot is a former Canterbury University Law student. Elliot came up with the idea after hearing about the nightmares some of his friends were having on Tinder. Elliot and Jess refined the idea and brought James on board as the man with the technical expertise to make it a reality. What makes Rendezvous different from your stock standard swipey dating app?
This issue’s UC Entrepreneurs are UC alumni Elliot, along with Jess and James, who have started Rendezvous. It’s interestingly touted as a ‘Tinder killer’, so we chatted to Jess from Rendezvous to get more info. Sum up Rendezvous for us, Jess! Rendezvous is the tinder-killing dating app for people who are sick of seedy pick-up lines, and want to get out and meet people at sweet local venues. If you want to meet a person, not a profile, then Rendezvous is for you.
Well, Rendezvous is what we call a ‘chatbot’, which is a bit different to the apps you’d normally download from the app store. You can chat directly with the Rendezvous chatbot to set yourself up on a date at a time which suits
you at your favourite bars (including the Foundry, of course). We put the focus on minimising the time you spend in app, and getting people in front of each other to really figure out if there’s a spark. Okay, so where do I start?! If you’re interested in cutting to the chase, and meeting some people IRL, get amongst it. When you’re ready - just go to our Facebook page fb.com/rendezvoushq to get started. We reckon the timing for Rendezvous in Christchurch is great. As the rebuild has progressed, there have been so many cool new venues opening up across the city. We hope Rendezvous can help some Cantabs get out and enjoy them!
The Price is Nice!
Want to see
EPIC THEATRE but your bank balance says “no”?
The first play offering $30 tickets for 30 Below members is Venus in Fur. Sign up for 30 Below and see this sexy show for just $30! Before 50 Shades of Grey there was Venus in Furs. Unlike 50 Shades, this novel has made its way onto the stage where an audition turns into a kinky game of desire and dominance between an actress and the director…
Then you’ve got to join 30 Below, an epic new offer at The Court Theatre. If you’re under thirty years old, you can score yourself $30 tickets to main stage shows! Head to courttheatre.org.nz/concessions to learn more and sign up.
MURDER IS THE
NEW BLACK
. . g n i m o c t i d He h a Awaiting trial for murdering her lover, Roxie Hart battles cellmate
Velma Kelly for survival – and the spotlight - in the dirty, seedy world of 1920s Chicago, where infamous is just as good as famous.
COURTTHEATRE.ORG.NZ
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ANTI SOCIAL Mention CANTA at MegaAir and get 33% off on weekdays!
All snap-artists featured in this issue of CANTA win a double pass to MEGA AIR trampoline arena!! Contact canta.editor@canta.co.nz to claim your prize!
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FLAT FAMOUS
15
H
ere at the Teapot we have a nice selection of hot drinks for the whole family. On the menu is an Alex “Parkinmacrack” blend, a special brew - the “100 Level” Barbs espresso, an eatMAIAsshole Hewer melange, a sassy concoction we like to call Becca, and a fusion of sexy and cute - the steaming hot Hannah, all served with sweet Tori “The Weapon” Crisford Honey. All these fabulous drinks are made with love by our infamous barista Niamh “Nympho” Reily.
The Teapot won some goodies from Harrington’s! Wanna win YOUR flat something similar? Email CANTA@CANTA.CO.NZ telling us why you’re flat is so bloody spectacular and you could be featured in FLAT FAMOUS in 2018! x
Photography by Hugh Baird
16
Green Supporter Goes To A UCPOLS Election Night Party And Realises Life Doesn’t Always Work Out
I
’m one of those types who don’t go to parties. You know the ones; non-existent social life, weird sense of humour, lives at home instead of flatting. But this year, I wanted to reward myself for stressing about the upcoming election since early 2017. I did what any wound-up, down-and-out student would do in times of great upheaval; I went out and drank.
As the electoral advertising ban is now lifted, I can finally wear something blatantly political – my Green Party pin, one of two I got during a recent campaign launch. I also get directed towards a box of already-cracked glow sticks, which I fashion into a pair of glasses. I am now at the height of fashion. 6:51 – I am, according to the guy at the door, the second person to arrive, and I now fully understand how much of a dork I am. I get handed a tiny map of Parliamentary seats and a small packet of coloured pencils. The guy working the door seems annoyed that I’m asking him who he voted for, as I’m acknowledging his existence for more than two seconds, and I go and sit down at a distant table. As I go around and talk to people, I get asked if I was ‘the guy who sent the thing on Facebook’. I’m not. I go up to the bar and order an election drink. They are, in descending order, ‘the blue one’, ‘the red one’ and ‘the green one’. I ask if I can mix red and green, as I’m not that big of a fan of watermelon. My request is granted, but my drink is almost entirely red. It tastes disappointing. 7:00 – After going to the bathroom and finding that there are no hand dryers whatsoever (a strange architectural decision if there ever was one), I miss the opening salvo of TV3’s news coverage. It’s all very optimistic – the polls might have Labour underperforming, but if they collate with the Greens (home team!), the Maori party (who’ll go with whoever) or even NZFirst (boo!) they’ll have JUST enough to cross the magic 60-point threshold. Will it be Bill English, with his incumbency and walk-run lifestyle, or Jacinda, the relentlessly positive Mother of Dragons?
There is one other person at the table, and we are quickly lumped together to play some sort of electoral bingo. Turns out she is also a Greens supporter. There are angry boos as the Christchurch Central votes start to trickle in, with Nikki Wagner still ahead. The boo’s only get louder when Gerry Brownlee ends up crushing his electorate. He’ll actually go on to have a four-figure percentage while crowd favourite Raf Manji ended up with something with a few hundred. We are soon joined by a friend of the Fellow Green Supporter, who’s for Labour, exemplified by a red dress. She has nothing on the guy strutting around in the red toga, tho.
17 7:30 - I leave the table for three seconds and suddenly there’s a bowl of chips. I do this again ten minutes later and suddenly there’s an entire plate of pizza. I wonder if I leave a third time we’ll get a sustainable government, too. The results have been good also; for a brief beautiful moment, things seem to be on the up. Duncan Webb is set to take Central, and it looks like Winston Peters might even lose his seat. But then?
a nice concept, it still doesn’t make the current situation any better. I finally decide enough is enough and head home. On the way out I notice somebody has put a big jar of orange jellybeans on the entrance table. I make a half-hearted attempt at getting them but the lid has been screwed on tight. Sure, just taunt me with more things I can’t have.
8:30 – Oh shit. The Greens have plummeted to 5.9%, just like my heart. The goal quickly turns from casual drinking and punditry too routinely shouting “STAY ABOVE 5%” at the screen, which I notice antagonizes the group of smartly-dressed ladies in front of me. The fellow Green voter decides she doesn’t want to use her cocktail discount and gives it to me. This time I order an entirely green drink and down it way too quickly. It also tastes disappointing. By know I’m used to it. We are now joined, also, by a guy with a slight unibrow. He’s quite talkative, telling us about the other political parties in India and how the people in his community voted. He starts singing National’s praises and blasts Labour’s stance on immigration. This causes Red Dress to start arguing with him, loudly, with Fellow Green Supporter siting awkwardly between them. I go and order a third drink.
12:02 – I decide to finally go to bed. I’m not mad, just disappointed. That’s a lie, I’m fuming. I became a Green supporter ever since English said climate change would be a ‘non-issue’, back when he was just starting out as Deputy PM. I consider environmentalism to be a high if not the highest) priority for this small set of islands I call home – after all, we rely on it for agriculture, tourism and, y’know, overall liveability. But I guess voters didn’t want to get too crazy and stuck with what they already had. I wish you all luck in the wars to come. Thank you and goodnight.
9:30 – What followed the fall of the Greens was honestly a blur. Numbers for National went up, numbers for everyone else went down. One by one people like Gerry Brownlee, Gareth Morgan and David Seymour appeared on the TV, and I found myself shouting “prick!’ at each one. The smartly-dressed ladies in front of me got very annoyed. Strangely enough, the entire bar fell silent as Winston Peters gave a hurried speech before he had to catch his ferry home. Out of all the politicians to demand respect in this University Bar, the Kingmaker was my last guess. Perhaps they knew they were listening to their future overlord. 10:10 – By now I’ve spent all my energy shouting at the screen, so I quickly lose interest in the numbers trickling in. Instead I try new ways of deconstructing my glowstick glasses, eventually settling on a “V-for-Victory” look. Slight Unibrow Guy attempts to reassure me by saying that Labours failings might mean that the Greens will use this as an opportunity to become a ‘better, proper left-wing group’. I tell him with great pity that, while that’s
By Lewis Hoban
18
HOW TO: DUMPSTER DIVE IN CHRISTCHURCH
D
umpster diving is a not so popular way to get free stuff. It’s easy to see why most people turn their noses up at the thought of dumpster diving. Dumpsters evoke the worst smells, slime, rotten food, flies, and used tissues. Why would there be anything of value in the dumpster? Somebody threw that out for a reason. Why risk your health and respectability for someone’s trash?
While these are valid arguments, and often apply, it IS possible to circumvent the grossness, while pulling in a massive amount of loot including clothes, uni supplies, and electronics. This, however, requires careful planning, knowledge, and a little bit of shamelessness. Whether or not dumpster diving is a crime is a bit of a grey area. New Zealand laws don’t specifically cover dumpster diving.
Keeping the following on you can be helpful: – Long pants and closed toe shoes – A folding knife – A poker – for rooting through dumpsters without using hands – A screwdriver, if you want to scavenge for electronic parts etc. – Transportation- you don’t want to be walking home with all the booty you’re going to find.
Play the numbers game. Going to a few dumpsters, finding them locked or just a bunch compactors is certain to end in failure. If you have a car, move quickly between places if you don’t find anything. You can plan out a route on Google maps prior to going out, so that you know exactly where you are going and can stay organized and motivated. Don’t give up.
However, it can be classed as theft, as it’s understood that rubbish is still the property of the disposer until an operator has collected it. There’s definite advantages to dumpster diving, but it’s best to use your better judgement here. Is it worth it? Being caught in a bin, with a Pak N Save boston bun in your chops might not be the best look.
Go to the source. You want to dive at the place that sells the food that you want. It is common sense but easy to forget the dumpsters are only going to have the same stuff that is sold inside the store. So, for food you want to go to the places that sell a lot of food. This is mainly grocery stores like New World and Pak N Save. Don’t forget farmer’s markets. Don’t limit yourself to these by any means; check the big chains, and the local stores in your area and check them all.
Get in and look around. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked into a dumpster to see nothing and then hopped in to realize there were 5 entire bags full of muesli bars, cereal, and bread. Get in and move the bags around. A lot of the time food is all bagged up, often double bagged, fresh off the shelf and put straight into the bin.
AVOID: – – – –
Anything wet. Toilet trash bags. Unsealed food. Glass.
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One way to reduce your fear is to do this for something greater than feeding yourself. Flip the stigma by becoming a food waste warrior and collect food to help others out.
Be prepared.
By arriving at the dumpster prepared with everything you need, you’ll feel calmer and be much quicker. Clean out your car and empty the boot and backseat so that you have plenty of space for the food you collect. You can bring boxes or containers or you can just grab them out of the recycling bins or dumpsters of the store you are at. If you go at night a headlamp is definitely key. I suggest bringing some soap and water and a reusable towel to wash your hands. Wearing clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty will also make you more comfortable.
Focus on middle and upper income areas. I’ve found that middle and upper income neighborhoods are where I have the best success. The very low-income neighborhoods tend to have more locked dumpsters. If you live in a low-income area with very few supermarkets it could be worth it to drive a half hour to a higher income area to dumpster dive.
Go with a friend if you can. Having the support of another person can be really helpful but it’s also very practical. One person can be in the dumpster filling boxes while the other person can be taking them to a car. Sometimes one person will be in the dumpster handing stuff out to the person holding the lid up. It often makes it more enjoyable to be out with a friend or a group.
Don’t let locks fool you.
I’ve seen it dozens of times where I take someone out, they see a lock, and they start walking away. I walk over and see that the padlock is just resting there and the dumpster is not locked at all. Check to see if the dumpster is actually locked before assuming that it is.
After you’ve been doing this for a little while you’ll know which stores you should skip and which are worth your time. You’ll also start to create patterns so you know when the best times and days to go are. Combine this together and you’ll have an efficient route and schedule where you can hit all the places in as little time as it would have taken you to go grocery shopping.
Notable dumpster finds: Steve Jobs Would Shit: Someone in the States almost biffed a piece of old machinery she considered crapola… what was it? A first-generation Apple computer worth more than NZ$ 275,000. This thing looks like a wooden typewriter, so I would probably throw it too. Good work!
Lotto Battle: A super old guy found a winning lotto ticket in the rubbish. You know how old guys like to get in there? Well, this paid off. There was a bit of drama though… the owner of the ticket found out (how? Who knows) and they went to court. Old Man Rubbish still walked away with almost NZ$200,000 bucks in the end… not too shabby for being gross! Soho Oh No: A ‘junk removal operator’ (which in my opinion is a rubbish collector – no need to get fancy here) in New York was removing junk from a Soho artist’s home. He took home a barrel of random items because that seems totally normal, and discovered that the so called ‘junk’ was actually ancient Mexican artifacts. Sometimes you get lucky. Totaling 60 items, the haul of figurines, bowls and jugs were dated between 300 BC and 500 AD and were valued at around NZ$22,000. Win! Andy finds an Andy: At a garage sale in 2010 a guy called Andy got a sweet deal, to completely underplay this all… $5 spent on a bunch of paintings, which he lifted out of the frames to discover a sketch. Signed by none other than Andy bloody Warhol. Cut to the best part: it was valued at £1.3m. Andy thinks the original owner hid this away for safe keeping. That 1) sucks, and 2) is fucking stupid.
Sources: Indestructables.com / Robgreenfield.tv / Theregister.co.nz
Don’t be running around all nervous and scared. Take your time, own up to what you are doing and have some confidence. I’ve spent an hour or more at a time in a dumpster. Make sure you don’t run from the dumpster out of fear and leave it full of the food you are after. It’s rare that anyone gets a ticket for dumpster diving. The worst-case scenario I’ve seen is a $200 ‘minor trespassing’ ticket. If you’re good at diving, this ticket quickly would pay for itself.
Come up with a route and a schedule.
How to: s t udent
Manage your fear.
20 How to: s t udent
TIPS FROM AN ANON UC DIVER What are the basic rules a Kiwi dumpster diver should adhere to? Think of your peers. If you trash the dumpster site, the shop will likely make it harder for everyone. The same goes for getting caught-if you are seen, the shop is more likely to tighten up because it is after all 'illegal' and they do have some liability. Find out when the shop closes, and then leave around two hours for the night manager to finish up and leave. If you do get caught, be polite and apologise. Often they will just tell you to leave nicely. The freezer is your friend! Throw almost everything straight in the freezer and slowly work through it all. If you have too much, share the love, I have been known to leave bags of ciabatta buns on the free table at uni because our freezer was so full it wouldn't shut. What happens if you arrive and there's already someone going through your ‘spot'? Join in…the more, the merrier. It is often a situation of ‘when it rains, it pours’, so often all of you will get nothing, or you will both have too much to carry. As with kiwi surf breaks, climbing cliffs and swimming holes, some respect should be paid to the locals but most local divers will be happy to share their winnings. Any tips on what to avoid collecting? Salmon and cream cheese filo pastries... I've thrown up at the gym after knocking back two of those (albeit) delicious bad boys. Also, cooked chickens. Often, they are still warm and are super tempting but don't give in to their seduction. It will only hurt in the long run. Generally we stick to things that have their own sealed packaging, because then you can be sure that no cross contamination has occurred.
What's been your best find when out dumpster diving? On our best night we scored: ten kilo of free range bacon, two trays of eggs, six bags of bagels, and a couple packs of mixed muffins!
Do you think supermarkets in New Zealand should follow France's lead and donate their excess food to charity? Heck yes! Sure, we are hungry students, but there are people who need this food a whole lot more than we do, and it makes me truly sad when we see how much is getting thrown out. Yet kids are still going to school hungry all over the country!
A couple of notes: – Most supermarkets around uni are quite well locked up and have a fair bit of security so are not very worthwhile attempting. – The nicer the neighbourhood is, the nicer the dumpster. – Bakery goods are your friend... especially ciabatta. – Don't expect to come away with a haul every time. There’s probably a ‘nothing: something: massive’ score ratio of 7:5:1, so patience is key.
C AN T A fe a tu r e
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H a r d ya r d s One sentence sum up of the plot: A majestic ship gets wrecked on it’s debut journey across the Atlantic Ocean and a star is born.
The UC Film Club put in the hours watching classic ‘must watch films’ so that you can pretend you are cultured. Movie details: Titanic (1997) Why should I pretend I’ve seen this film? If you hadn’t seen this film, you wouldn’t have been a Leonardo DiCaprio fan in the first place. The eponymous ship in this film had a miserable destiny but one of its passengers was destined to become The King of the World. This film is the reason why I am always willing to pay so much money when Leo’s films release. The ship sacrificed itself to make Leo such a big movie star.
What makes this film a classic: Most of us had presumed James Cameron to be a master of scienceficton films, which he is in a way. But as far as this film is concerned, he was going to depict a true story on the big screen for the first time in his career. And what a film it turned out to be !!!!!!!!! It was one of the best Christmas gifts I have received in this lifetime. The songs were good, the protagonists looked awesome, the ship was grand, the ice-berg looked so intriguingly gigantic and beautiful, and last but not the least the film was infused with mind-blowing erotica !!!! I remember I was 7 years old when I went to see this film at the theatre with my parents, and my parents trusted James Cameron to the extent that it was absolutely okay for me to watch all the nudity on the big screen. That is one reason why I consider this film to be a classic. Parents around the world were bringing their babies to the cinemahalls to see a wild DiCaprio besides a fateful ship.
Give us some facts about this movie I can impress someone with: This movie made enough money that could fund the manufacturing of at least 3 real Titanics. An entire replica of the real Titanic was built for filming but this replica ship was stationed at the Pacific Ocean near Mexico instead of the Atlantic Ocean wherein the real ship sank. DiCaprio doesn’t really sketch Kate Winslet in that iconic scene. James Cameron does. Yes, it was the director’s hand that we saw on the big screen that sketched Winslet. Some Australian billionaire is making a real fully functional replica of the Titanic and I really want DiCaprio and Winslet to strike that iconic ‘Titanic’ pose on the front of that ship. Controversial or alternate theory on the storyline: One of the most well-discussed alternate endings to this film is the one in which DiCaprio sinks into the ocean in this film and rises out of it in “Inception”. I wish this were true. It is certainly one of my favourite fan theories. I have also heard some people questioning DiCaprio’s environmental activism. They say that an iceberg killed his character in this film so there is absolutely no reason why he should defend one. By Reo Roy
EDITOR’S TIP: Don’t miss the scene where a passenger falls off the sinking ship and shatters his pelvis and legs on a massive propeller on the way down.
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THE RDU
GIG GUIDE BIC RUNGA AND SPECIAL GUESTS
RHYTHM AND ALPS
FRI 20TH OCT
FRI 29 th DEC
Location: Issac Theatre Royal
Location: Cadrona Valley
Tickets: bicrunga.com
Tickets: rhythmandalps.co.nz
SALMONELLA DUB
TUKI
FEAT TIKI TANE
SAT 10TH FEB
SAT 13TH JAN
Location: Laka Wanaka
Location: Hagley park Tickets: The Ticket Fairy
Tickets: Cosmic
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Yumi -zou ma
28 September, Darkroom
If you weren’t at What So Not on Thursday the 28th, YuMi(ght) have been Zouming to see Yumi Zouma (pronounced You-Me Zoo-Ma). Although, you probably weren’t. So, to honour this fabulous New Zealand indie pop unit, and to fill you in on the gig, I have this review just for you! I have deliberated over this article for all of 3 minutes, and instead of outlining the events of the night, I have decided to articulate how this gig made me feel. As context, my previous interaction with Yumi, or more specifically their lead singer Christy, did not go how any selfrespecting fan would aim to act around someone they look up to. Poor Christy did not know what hit her when me and a
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couple mates stated fan girling (or boying) over her after the show, like she were Justin Bieber, and us 12 year old girls. This caused an immense feeling of embarrassment the next day. So going into this gig, I wanted to make a much better impression. With a feeling of remorse and excitement, the band kicked off with their normal dancey electric pop that I love. I quickly began to feel the warmth of the band, and I started to boogie. They were now accompanied by a live drummer, and this made me feel more attached to the music. With Yumi Zouma putting on the best set I’ve seen them play, and not making a dick of myself afterwards, I felt like a 7-year-old on Christmas Day. Buy their new album. I give this gig a Good Feeling out of Flo Rida. By Hayden Slaughter.
ENGINEERING
RD U g ig g uide
Wow, we’ve reached the final issue of CANTA for 2K17. We hope you’ve enjoyed the music community and events that TuneSoc has brought to you over the course of the year, including the Battle of the Bands, acoustic comp, multiple open-mic nights, TuneSoc Radio, the Groove Room and more. If you’re interested in being on the exec for 2018, please drop us a line! Laters, TuneSoc xo.
LETTER TO MY FIRST-YEAR SELF Letter To My First Year Self is a new feature in CANTA where you get the chance to impart some wisdom on your younger, maybe dumber self. Hey kid, Congrats on making it to uni! I’m pretty fucking proud of you right now. Don’t stress about not knowing what you wanna do. I can say (with future wisdom, obviously) that no one has any idea what they wanna do and they just all kinda fumble along until they fall into something that sucks a little bit less than the last thing. Keep your chin up. Enjoy life for what it is. There’s a lot of people. It’s going to widen your eyes something chronic and really test your view of the world. And you know what? That’s totally ok. You’re going to go through a few friends in the next few years. It sucks, and while you might feel like raging against a wall and screaming about the unfairness of it all - it all works out in the end. I’m happy. I have such a good group of friends and they love me and I thrive. So yes. You will meet a lot of people. And some will fade in and out and others you’ll never see again So enjoy the time you have. Make time for people. Make time for you. Don’t get caught up in what you “should” be doing. Don’t go to parties because your “mate” said “it’ll be a fucking rager.” Don’t stay up until one in the morning in town because your friends “aren’t tired yet.” You be you. Those people that are worth it will follow. And for god’s sake, start your bloody assignments earlier. And don’t sit in the front row if you’re just gonna nap in class. Seriously girl -- three times. At least try and be dignified and sit in the back. I know mornings aren’t our strong suit. You work best on a schedule, so at least try to go to bed at ten each night. Amazingly, you might actually wake up refreshed… But even though you’ll be late, still turn up to class. It’s better to miss five minutes of class than 50 minutes. Because seriously, who the fuck is going to watch it online later? Suck it up and take responsibility for your actions. If you’re late, you’re late. Just go to class. And say hi to the people in class too. Catch their eye when you go to sit down. Leave a seat -- it’s weird sitting right next to people anyway -- but try catch the eye of
This is we h sue ave a lette r fro ... to m Em! Em!
someone above/below/beside when you go to sit down (all first years are nosey buggars, so don’t worry, they’ll be looking) and just smile and say hi. Doesn’t need to be anything more. But uni can be isolating -- put yourself forward. Everyone is focused on themselves, no one is judging you. So take the plunge. Engage with people. Join the Clubs. Learn how fucking amazing you really are and what’s possible. Take advantage of ASC (go look them up right now, go on). Your essay writing sucks. It’ll get better, but take the help. And take more daytime walks between classes. Powernaps aren’t naps kid if they last for two hours. Keep your eyes open. You changed majors three times -- you absolutely love what you’re doing now, but when you started, you didn’t even know it existed. So talk to people. Ask their majors. If you don’t understand, ask them what it’s about. If that’s too hard or awkward, google it later. But seriously. Learning doesn’t just happen in the classes. And tell [your sister] to shove it up her arse when she tells you you’re not “doing anything worthwhile” with your degree. I’ll have you know she’s doing absolutely nothing to do with her major now, and you’ve already overtaken her qualification-wise. And if you’ve met Kelsey already in Classics - please please please get the guts to ask for her number or add her on facebook. You both changed majors and I’d love to know where she is now. Chin up. Stay strong. You are a fucking champion. Much love, xxox
Em
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POST ELECTION QUESTIONS WITH UCPOLS Wait. Huh? What? Did anything actually change? When do I get my free money? Do I get other free stuff? Why isn’t Gareth Morgan in Parliament? That would have been hilarious.
Greens are at 5.9% with 0 Electorate Seats
Yes it’s questions and statements like these that are screaming in your head right now I’m sure.
All the parties are scrambling to team up with each other, so together they can build up a majority of the seats in parliament and form a government. In this case it would be called a coalition government.
SO WHO WON?
Act is at 0.5% with 1 Electorate Seats Considering you need 50% to make a government out of just one party, no one won really. SO THAT MEANS?
Well, these are the provisional results so far:
WHAT ARE THE POSSIBLE COALITIONS?
National is at 47% with 41 Electorate Seats
Okay so basically the possible combinations are...
Labour is at 35.8% with 29 Electorate Seats
National/NZ First
NZ First is at 7.5% with 0 Electorate Seats
Labour/Greens/NZ First National/Greens
29 Really the key player now is Winston “Winnie P” Peters, Leader of NZ First. He likes to play his cards close to his chest and hasn’t really let slip who he’ll align with, and ultimately give the block of seats needed to form a majority government. It’s pretty much assumed that the Greens will coalition with Labour but that doesn’t quite get them over the mark, so they need NZ First to prop them up. National doesn’t quite get over the mark either so they need NZ First to prop them up too. So there isn’t much more to say other than its entirely up to Winnie P and NZ First and we just have to wait for them to make their decision. Winnie P sounds like he can be a hard man to work with, and his objective is most likely to leverage as much influence for his party as possible. Realistically he would get more influence being on National’s side of the fight. On Labour’s side there’s also the Green Party, three’s a crowd and Winnie P doesn’t like to share. One time I asked him, and he wouldn’t give me one of his durries. A lot of NZ First’s supporters however lean more to the side of Labour and wouldn’t be too pleased with ol’ Winnie jumping on the Blue Train and ordering a Chicken Cranberry Panini and a Bowl Latte at the onboard café. I also mentioned earlier the possibility of a National Greens coalition. Now this is a very unlikely coalition that probably won’t happen, but there’s been a lot of noise around the possibility, two former Prime
Ministers – John Key and Jim Bolger – have both said it’s worth a hoon. However one former Leader and another former minister of the Greens – Russel Norman and Nandor Tanczos – both said now’s not the right time. The majority of Green Party supporters probably wouldn’t be all that pleased by a National/ Greens coalition either. So yeah that’s basically all there is to say about the election at the moment. Like UCPOLS on Facebook for more access to a fountain of political knowledge.
No matter the election results, your old pal, Weird Scary Orange Person, will always be here for you. Always... See you in your nightmares. By Liam Donnelly Editor - UCPOLS
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C A N TA C O L U M N S Submit your column to canta.editor@gmail.com
Dept. of Spiritual Engineering
I
’m not ashamed to admit it. I have 1490 friends on Facebook. I probably know 2 /3 of them personally, would say hi to about ½ if I walked past them in the street, and would happily hide in a skip to avoid interacting with about 1/20 of them. Hey - even Chaplains aren’t perfect. And all of this constant connection to so many people seems to have helped create a phonemena amongst younger people that surely Mark Zuckerberg never saw coming in his wildest dreams: Mass Loneliness. Not that most of the people I meet who are obviously lonely would call it that. After all, how can someone with a gazzilion Facebook friends claim to feel alone? But lately I’ve started asking people outright “Are you lonely?” And an overwhelming amount of the time, after a long pause, many people answer with a mumble. “Yeah - actually - I think I might be.” Case and point. I had a good friend over for dinner a few weeks back who told me about their flatmate who studies Engineering at Canterbury. “He’s about to finish his degree, and he still doesn’t have a single friend from his 4 years at UC.” Often the marketing we’re sold of Uni life is one that promises a never ending social buffet of parties, people and pulling power. But in reality, once the first few weeks of excess wear thin, many students find themselves sitting alone studying in their bedrooms, or sitting alone, surrounded by hundreds of other people who are also alone, studying at a library desk. Sherry Turkle is a Professor in the Social Studies of Science
and Technology at MIT (@STurkle), and in 2012 she wrote a book called ‘Alone Together - Why we expect more from technology and less from each other.’ In it she notes that “texting offers just the right amount of access, just the right amount of control… texting puts people not too close, not too far, but at just the right distance. The world is now full of people who take comfort in being in touch with a lot of people whom they also keep at bay.” Ouch. But if you’re anything like me, it actually sums things up pretty accurately. Now don’t get me wrong - I think Facebook is great for remembering family members birthdays, connecting with people I’ve just met, and inflicting Winston Peter’s Meme’s and Game of Thrones spoilers on the unsuspecting world. But it also has some negative side-effects that we need to get real about. Because we often end up staying home alone, preferring to interact with hundreds of finely crafted public personas of people that don’t really exist, rather than developing meaningful relationships with real, unedited people, that do exist. And if that’s not a recipe for loneliness, I don’t know what is. So, as you head towards the end of this academic year, let me offer a radical solution to this loneliness epidemic inflicting itself on students: Deep Friendship. You can find a short clip I’ve filmed on the concept here (https://youtu. be/3pZ_0s1GAeg), but let me give you 3 tips that the brave and lonely amongst you can try over the Summer break. Tip 1: Go deeper, rather than wider Most people have spread themselves way too thin when it comes to friends. Most of us can
only maintain close friendships with a handful of people, and yet many of us have plowed all of our energy into maintaining a huge catalogue of acquaintances. So make the decision to go deep with a few specific people, and pull back from investing all your time into the wideness of the crowd. Tip 2: Keep in touch Our generation is one that tends to only care about who and what is immediately in front of us. That often means that come Summer break our friendships need some intentional maintenance to stay strong and healthy. So make the effort to keep in touch with your closer friends over the break - and actually give them a call and talk like a real human being rather than just sending them a lame “what sup bro?” text. Even better - send them something by post to show them you really mean friendship business. Tip 3: Stay loyal One of the strangest and yet most profound things a close friend told me was “You know what, Spanky? I like you so much, that even if you were in prison for killing lots of innocent people with a machine gun, I think I’d still come and visit you.” As crazy as that sounded at the time, it helped me realise that in this person I had a truly loyal and deep friendship. So before the year’s out - why not pledge your loyalty to one of your closest friends? So there you have my three tips for killing loneliness and growing friends. Because at some stage everyone needs to stop swimming in the shallow end of the pool, and jump in the deep end. REV SPANKY MOORE spankyy.moore@canterbury.ac.nz
31
S N M U L O C AT N A C moc.liamg@rotide.atnac ot nmuloc ruoy timbuS
THE F-WORD My flatmate is worried that I’m *that* kind of feminist. How should I respond?
There are many different types of feminist; A cultural feminist which concerns itself with masculine/ feminine behaviour in society. A socialist feminism which focuses on
capitalism, and men having more power and money than women. An eco-feminist focusing on the environment, that the domination of women stem from the same ideologies as the domination of the environment. I could go on, but the one that leaves a general distaste in the mouths of others and the type where “that feminist” comes from, an extreme radical feminist. It’s the idea that sexism is so deep in our society that we have to uproot the entire system and start again. Extreme radical feminism is shown the most in media because it’s so intense. People find it entertaining (trust me, wage talks are long and can drone on) and that’s what why we now link feminism to the extreme radical feminism. But that is not the only type we have, feminism at it’s
core is equality and as long as you believe in that then you are a feminist. Show your flatmate the world of different types of feminist, show them the everyday feminist, not just those on YouTube. It may turn out that your flatmate is a feminist too.
32
T
his edition’s Queertiquette is a bit too close to home to be funny, so here’s a joke to make up for the lack of giggles: What do you call two lady robots in love? LESBIONIC! We’ve all liked the memes, seen the headlines: ‘QCanterbury President supports National: Chaos ensues’. But here at Queertiquette, I’m not interested in that; I’m more interested in a particular comment that presented itself in the ever intellectual comments section of the Young Nats facebook page:
Dearest commenter, which parallel universe are you living in where nobody cares whether I’m gay? Where I get “special treatment” that isn’t just homophobic discrimination? If this magical utopia actually existed, where I could hold my girlfriends hand without it being made into a bold and daring statement by the general public, you could bet your privileged ass I would move there faster than you can say “all lives matter”. Unfortunately, I reside in reality, where the ideal state of nobody caring about who I fall in love with has no place because of how our society has been so callously constructed against those who aren’t part of the “norm”. In this reality, a public vote in Australia allows for active campaigning against gay love. In this reality, my takataapui friend has been denied a place to stay by a homeowner who “didn’t want that around her kids”. That; as if identifying as anything other than cis or straight is a bad habit a parent doesn’t want a child to pick up. In our reality, I, along with all other LGBT people, am faced with a society that continues to coercively politicise our identities and our love. For the most part, we don’t want our identities and love lives to be political, but what we want doesn’t matter. LGBT+ people are politicised by the world around us for simply being. Cishet people generally feel entitled to approve or disapprove of our “lifestyle” (i.e. us living our lives honestly and with love), and that it is their place to chime in on whether key elements of our identities are caused by or inherently related
with Hinerangi to mental illness. I still remember my 14 year old self sitting in a social studies classroom, as impressionable as any other year 10 student, trying to navigate the way that some girls made me feel soft and warm inside and what that meant – but that’s not what ingrained that particular day into my memory. For some reason, our teacher decided it would be appropriate and “stimulating” to get another, conservatively Christian teacher, to come and tell us why he believed gay people didn’t have a right to marriage. Our rights have been reduced to mediocre high school discourse where half the people cited religious affiliation as a reason to get out of engaging with it. Our love has been served on the same silver platter as political party affiliation on the table of controversy, as if it were some finger food for the mind and often found too hard to chew. Taken verbatim from my personal diary only a few weeks after I realised I was gay, “It’s just…so infuriating how my identity is so political. I simply can’t ignore how my very existence is radical and revolutionary, how so many facets of my identity intersect in direct opposition to what society tells us we are obligated to become.” Imagine kissing your girlfriend and that small affection being seen as a radical statement; it’s exhausting. Even just knowing that simple acts where you are living truthfully and expressing your gender accordingly would provoke political argument and opinion takes a massive toll on us personally, and as a community. It’s as though everything that we are doesn’t even belong to us, because we are still fighting for the permission to marry, to love, to exist, uncompromised.
Research Spotlight
Mobile phone and the Internet in health. Smart phones are Mobile phones that run on an operating system (OS) that allows the downloading of applications onto the phone. The benefits of this are almost full computer functions including Internet access on the Mobile phone.
MY RESEARCH:
SMO KI N G C ESSATI O N AN D MO B I LE PH O N ES
S
abine Leech, with a background in physiotherapy, discovered her interest in health promotion and smoking cessation after working with many patients who were smokers at the time. Sabine has conducted research assessing ‘The effectiveness of Internet-based and mobile phone-based interventions to achieve smoking cessation for adolescent and adult smokers’ for her thesis towards her Master’s degree in Health Sciences. During this time Sabine was also involved with the Cancer Society’s health promotion project ‘the Fresh Air project’ working towards smoke free outdoor dining in NZ by 2025. Internet-and Mobile phone-based interventions also have some advantages over most current treatment services: they are convenient in that they can be accessed anywhere and at any time and they offer the option of anonymity. For health care providers they have the potential of being very cost-effective as interventions can be directly delivered to the participant with minimal direct contact and lower resource requirements. Internet-and Mobile phone-based interventions also offer a variety of different options how they can be delivered to the individual: they can be provided each as a standalone intervention, both combined as an intervention or individually or combined in conjunction with other cessation support inclusive of but not limited to individual support groups, counselling, Nicotine Replacement Therapy and Telephone Calls. ‘Smart phones’ are adding a new dimension to the use of
A Meta-Analysis was conducted to measure the effectiveness of Internet- and Mobile phone- based interventions for the quitting and prevention of longer term relapse of smoking. Participants- the study included adolescents and adult population aged between 15 and 64 years residing anywhere in the world, both gender and all ethnicity. The analysis was based on the assessment and pooling of Randomized Controlled Trials and reported outcomes at six months or longer and whose comparison group received either any other intervention or an intervention inclusive of but not limited to Internet-and Mobile phone-based interventions.
FINDINGS FROM MY RESEARCH:
The Internet and Mobile phone with their richness of options and opportunities for communication and sharing information have become a regular part of daily life for the majority of people in many countries. It is therefore appropriate to consider using them as tools to increase the choice and access to smoking cessation support. Previous research suggests that Internet-and Mobile phone-based interventions are effective to achieve abstinence of smoking, however their effects were short lived. This MetaAnalysis contributed to narrowing the gap by reviewing relevant literature and helped to identify the previously unknown effects of longer-term cessation. Overall findings of this Meta-Analysis suggest that Internet-and Mobile phone-based interventions are very effective in achieving longer-term abstinence of smoking however for them to be more efficient for longer-term cessation additional interventions are needed inclusive of Nicotine Replacement Therapy.
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O N E S I DE I had kind of been dreading the blind date for a while since there was a good chance that my date could’ve been at least someone I had already slept with. Or worse — one of my exes. Or even worse — someone I’d ignored on Tinder or Grindr. It’s a small community. I was totally getting ready to awkwardly excuse myself for not responding to the plethora of dick pics that my would-be date may have spammed me with — my (un) fortunate reality. Thankfully, the guy ended up being one of the only guys on this goddamn island that I had actually befriended. Talk about instant relief! We instantly started spinning some fantastic yarns. I think we even talked for a solid half hour before even deciding to eat pizza. For those who know me, prolonging food to me is sacrilegious. It was a blast, he’s a totally great guy! Does well at uni, is well-travelled and multilingual, and has a great sense of humour. He definitely isn’t like most gay guys in Christchurch in that he actually has a brain and a personality. Talk about a great package, right? Unfortunately for me and him, there was just nothing there. No spark, no romance. I didn’t feel the same desire for him as I do with Patrick Gower, y’know? It was just a bloody good yarn over great food. I’d be totally keen to be his mate, or even his wingman! I really did mean it when I said that I’d be keen to hang out again, but definitely as mates. I’m sorry I totally sideswiped you when you went for the kiss and I gave you a hug instead, and shot down all of your advances. Promise there are no harsh feelings, cheers for the yarns! Cheers again for the mean kai!
To submit yourself or a mate for LUCK Y DI P. Email: canta.editor@gmai l.com
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TH E OTH E R S I DE
I have to confess I was pretty nervous going into this. I did not know what to expect but figured if all went badly I would at least get a free dinner out of it. Went to Uni that day dressed up, with my favourite bomber jacket and makeup on point feeling myself. Could barely pay attention to my classes as I was very nervous for my blind date. No amount of my friends telling me it was going to be fine helped. Arrived at Spag’s about 15mins earlier to try and hide my uni bag as I did not have time to go home in between uni and the date. Asked for a table for two and started chugging down some water to try and calm my nerves. I heard: “Oh hey (my name) it’s you!” Was pleasantly surprised to find out my date was this cool guy I met from Tinder a long time ago, with our busy schedules we ended up growing apart and hadn’t talked for about a year I think? So catching up with him was great! We spent 2.5 hours talking about a wild range of subjects from politics, to life achievements, to dating all that while sober AF. Was good to hear that he was doing well, as he had just moved back to New Zealand when I met him last, that was another thing we had in common since I have been in New Zealand for only a few years, nice to talk about the differences between countries, especially how gay culture is accepted around the world. We ordered some amazing pizza and yeah overall it was a pretty good date. It went so quickly as well! We were debating whether to create a messy date story, or that we had a crazy fight but in the end I have decided to go with what actually happened. Folks at Qcanterbury are definitely good matchmakers. Would definitely be open to meet again, let’s see if we can get our shit together with our schedules this time haha. Thanks QCanterbury and Canta for this cool opportunity! I had a lot of fun and was great to do something outside the ordinary for the week. Cheers :)
IGHT AS FOR ED PIZZ E SLIC
GIVE IT A GO Find the nearest cycleway ccc.govt.nz/cycling
HAPPY ENDING COLOUR ME IN
FEEL GOOD FACTS – Some turtles can breathe through their butts! – The Beatles used the word “love” 613 times in their songs. – Puffins mate for life. They make their homes on cliff sides and even leave some separate room for their toilet. – There’s a prison that pairs up “death row” shelter cats with select inmates as part of a rehabilitation program. – You used to be part of a star :)
MAZE
– Babies cry in their native language. That is, babies born to French speaking parents cry with different tonal patterns than babies born to parents that speak English or Arabic or German. – Most toilets flush in E flat. – Speaking of toilets, Steve Jobs relieved stress by soaking his feet in Apple’s company toilets… – The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. – A 6-year-old applied for a job at a railroad museum and was hired as its director of fun. - There’s an island called Okunoshima in Japan filled with tame bunnies.
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