CANTA, issue #8 2017 by UCSA

C A N TA CANTA I NVESTI GATES: C U LTU R AL AP P R O P R I ATI O N

I S S U E

TU N E S O C TALKS TO K I LTE R

E I G H T / W A R U

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1 7 T H

J U L Y

WINTERLUDE & DIVERSITY WEEK

2 0 1 7

in this issue 11

H OW TO: LIVE AT H OM E AN D STI LL HAVE CA SUAL SE X

UCSA WI NTE RLU DE PU LL- OUT!

CANTA I NVESTI GATES: CU LTU R AL APPRO PRIATI O N

HARD YARDS: J U R A SSI C PARK

LUC K Y DI P: TH E O N E THAT WO RKE D? Editor’s note Kia ora! So we’re half way through the year. Not sure what happened, but I feel like I’ve just woken up from a 12 hour nap and ever yone is screaming at me and throwing water balloons. Am I alone in this feeling?! Anyone?! Don’ t forget to check out our Winterlude pull out – essential UC gigs to reorientate yourself with uni.

This issue has all your usuals – Flat Famous packed full of PJs and condoms and a Luck y Dip which just might be the star t of something cutie cute. If you’re just star ting here at UC for the year, set tle in and read your future favourite mag. – Joshua @cantamag on Snapchat @cantamagazine on Insta

This issue’s contributors

Sarah Jadallah

Wajd El-Matary

Sam Brosnahan

Asher Olliver

Sara Qasem

Reo Roy

Satirayan Ravichandiren

Ryan Patrick

Letters to the Editor LET’S LIVE IN 2005 Dear Canta, Earlier this week I was procrastinating my responsibilities (as usual) browsing some old photos, and I found this photo of a retro UCSA logo on the side of the former UCSA building from about 13 years ago. IMO this clean, retro logo is way better than the fugly, unbalanced present logo, introduced in 2005. I reckon we’re well overdue for an update! Yours sincerely, An opinionated student Hi Opinionated, We agree. In fact, we agree so much that CANTA is going to print up ironic tees with the vintage logo on them. That way everyone can say they knew the UCSA before it was cool. Plot twist, the UCSA was never cool.

activewear and instagram filters. Choose a telly and a PS4 on hire purchase to go in your grotty fucking flat. Choose uni events and wondering who the fuck you are on a Thursday morning. Choose playing Assassin’s Creed on that PS4, ignoring deadlines, skipping lectures and wanking yourself into an oblivion instead of getting laid. Choose watching that prick Darren get a job at fucking Deloitte while the ink’s still wet on his BCom. Choose stuffing fucking $10 souvlaki’s down your throat and buying the cheapest ramen noodles on sale. Choose rotting away with a degree on your mantlepiece, too smart for a job at McDonalds and too dumb for fucking postgrad, nothing more than a fucked-up embarrassment to the parents who pushed you to get it instead of getting a trade. Choose your future. Choose Uni. Sick Boy This can go on the back of our vintage UCSA tees. – Editor

CHCH TRAINSPOTTING = ORBITERSPOTTING?

SHAKESPEARE / ED SHEERHAN FAN CLUB IS ANGRY

Choose Uni. Choose a bachelor’s. Choose a major. Choose your friends. Choose a fucking big latte, choose UC stationary, hoodies, coffee cups and iphone covers. Choose good study habits, a social life and club membership. Choose a student loan. Choose a rented room. Choose a cheap car. Choose

Good evening my fellow comrades, Today, upon our kindly University, a tragedy hath struck. Many an aspiring, innocuous student was going about their own business, nibbling at their $2 rice (as t’was a Tuesday) when an ungodly amount of shame washed through the campus. The clouds darkened

LETTER OF THE WEEK

– Editor

04 WEE NORMIES HAVING A WAA WAA – MY NEW BAND NAME Bring back the canta from 2012. Your stories are shit your editor has no experience with what he is doing. nothing is funny. every thing has to be so nice so wee normies dont have a waa waa. Im sick of societys pressure to conform to a sanitized pc brigade and canta sold out. we are the resistance and canta will fall on its own sword. I just wanted to print this as it was sent, as it’s kinda funny as it is. Rather than comment on everything, I’m just going to eyeroll into oblivion. One thing though....when did CANTA get a sword? My guess is that it’s actually hanging on the wall in your sleepout. – Editor

Comprenez-vous, bitch? Kind regards Rita Lin Hey Rita, I enjoyed your Shakespearian tale. Sadly, you’re not the only person I’ve heard this woeful tale from. This makes me terrified of Ed Sheerhan fans, to be honest. Someone has also brought to my attention that you’ve added in ES song titles into your letter. I’m giving you LETTER OF THE WEEK mainly because I’m scared of you. I’ve reached out to UC for comment on this issue, so check out our news article over the page. – Editor

DANCING WITH THE... STAFF? CANTA - Is this Dancing With The Staff thing on the screens around uni actually a thing that is happening, or is it a joke? (sent via Snapchat) Hi! We’re not sure. It’s either a real thing where the UCSA will be pairing up a staff member with a student for a dance competition. Or it’s some sort of semielaborate in-joke. We’ll continue our investigations! – Editor

Email:letters@canta.co.nz <1 0 0 w o r d s $25 U BS vo u c h e r f o r L et ter of the Week!

L e tte r s to th e Edi t o r

and the pigeons screeched, flapping away from the psychological storm faster than an engineering student evading their pregnant one-night-stand. It had happened. Ed Sheeran tickets were blocked from being purchased on the campus wifi. Now, UC techies may think they are the kings of the castle on the hill but they need to listen the fuck up because I was seeing fire. Course-related costs exist solely for 3 purposes: 1. Cracking a cold one with the boys 2. Respecting women 3. Buying concert tickets. Disallowing students from accessing Ticketmaster is not only unjust but a crime. Student wellbeing is about as stable as a lego house; Don’t fuck with our love of overcrowded arenas and cheesy music. I will break you. I will inject cyanide through a Sipahh straw into the bloodstream of whoever committed this atrocity to our internet. Because when March 31st rolls around next year, I don’t want to be in love with the shape of a brew, having downed 12 Double Browns to numb the pain. I want to be lying trampled under a mosh pit in Forsyth Barr.

LOCAL news

TICKETMASTER BLOCKED AT UC?

FREE SELF DEFENCE CL ASSES

here have multiple reports of UC ͛s wireless blocking access to Ticketmaster on the day Ed Sheerhan’s New Zealand tickets were released. According to UC student Freya, the site was down on UCWireless and also Eduroam. Freya “missed out on tickets because of it” and described the situation as “most distressing”. CANTA reached out to UC for comment on this situation, and Phil from Students Services had this response; “IT has had a look at the logs for 23 May for all of the IT systems that support Internet provision, and they were working as we would expect them to. There were no signs of any overloading. Obviously, UC has no control over performance once it has gone beyond the boundaries of our network.”

WINTER-WELLNESS EXPO

he Winter Wellness Expo is a free, all ages, non-alcoholic event for all UC students. It is brought to you by UCSA Advocacy & Welfare team, and will be held on 26th July (Wednesday) in the Undercroft, from 10am – 2pm.

ast term the UCSA ran self-defense classes as a special project initiative. The turnout and response was extremely positive. These were short one-hour sessions teaching basic skills and techniques for potential risks a student may face in the University area. It is an important ability to have that should be offered to students regularly. Next terms these classes will be on again in the Undercroft-101, in either week three or four. Look out for them, and come along!

There will be stalls offering free second-hand stuff (e.g., clothes, shoes, household items etc.), free brand new beanies, scarves and gloves (limited quantity), as well as free hot drinks and baking. Other stalls include Tenancy Protection Association, Christchurch Budget Service and Community Energy Action’s curtain bank! The NZ Police will be there to label phones, laptops etc. with UV markers, and give students tips on how to prevent burglaries.NZ Fire Service will also be there to give students information on fire safety. Most importantly, there will be: (1)a sewing/mending station, and (2)a multi-box safety testing station. So find those pieces of garments that need mending, retrieve any multi-boxes that have not been safety tested, pack your laptops/phones/gaming devices, and bring them all down to the Undercroft during Winter Wellness Expo.

06 News

NEW UCSA BUILDING COMING TOGETHER

ANTA talks to Dave Hawkey, the CEO of the UCSA about the progress of your new UCSA building. Can you give us a brief rundown on where the UCSA is at in terms of the new building? The contract for the building of the new UCSA Building is nearing completion and we should see construction begin to occur during July. Designs are complete and quite a bit of pre-work has been done on site around ground preparation. Fundraising is well underway for the $5 million short fall and in 2018 we will be organising the fit-out procurement. The design looks awesome - is there room for evolution down the track? Is there a plan for expansion eventually?

I have no doubt the building will evolve over time as student tastes and expectations change. Most of the spaces are very flexible in use including the theatre which can be used as flat floor space say for gigs as well as in theatre mode with the retractable seating. The building has been designed for students and there has been considerable input from students both around the functionality of the building as well as the design look and feel. We have maximised the location on the banks of the Avon River as well as the north facing aspect to maximise the sun. We need to remember we are a winter campus so building for that is important. There’s nothing better in winter than sitting behind glass in the sun on a frosty Christchurch morning.

What are you most excited about for the new building? I think the highlight for me is that the building will be vastly different from anything else on campus and will provide lots of different spaces for students to undertake a myriad of activities. Having a home once again for the UCSA will be very special as it has been a big part of our identity over the years. We are privileged to have one of the best sites on campus and given the building is around half the size of the old one it means we have an awesome outdoor space in front of the building including an amphitheatre for a variety of activities. Tell us about the name that has been gifted to the UCSA for the building: We have been gifted the name Haere-roa. Haere-roa = The Longest Stream / The Long Wanderer Haere-roa is the name gifted to the UCSA for our new building. This was gifted by mana whenua, Ngāi Tūāhuriri to UCSA. It recognizes UCSA as a place for all people to be welcomed, to rest, to be hosted and to recieve sustenance. Haere-roa is also a marker. It is a navigational point. It supports the campus wide cultural narrative overlay of navigation and mapping a journey using the stars. For many, the UCSA will be a marker in their journey, it will be a place they stop to contemplate, replenish and prepare for the next part of the journey.

Keep up with the progress at ucsa.org.nz!

QC Speed Meeting is a chance for members to get to know each other a little better and to save anyone from awkward conversation by making that happen very quickly. The event will be taking place at The Shilling Club on Wednesday July 19. Doors will open at 7:45pm and you will be guaranteed snacks while you aim to deliver your best banter. Drinks will be available for purchase from the bar to oil the social machinery (I know that after the uni break some of us will be out of practice). Speed Meeting is free! Check out QC for more info: qcanterburyuc@gmail.com

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

WELCOME

DIVERSITY FEST FEST --- DIVERSITY KIA ORA FRIENDS – you’ve just stumbled upon some of the most fun and thoughtprovoking few weeks you’ll have all year.

Introducing DiversityFest – a wondrous mashup of all things celebrating everyone on campus. The theme of the festival is #thisiswhoIam - it’s a call to action – to uncover what makes you epically and uniquely astounding.

challenge assumptions. It’s the concept of the individual playing a crucial role in the collective. There’s over 16,000 of us in the same boat – maybe we’ve got more in common than we realise? Three weeks, over 20 different events and tonnes of opportunity to get in amongst. Visit canterbury.ac.nz /diversityfest for your full calendar. Enjoy mate!

It’s a showcase of you, people like you, people different to you and people you maybe never knew existed at UC. It’s a platform to highlight issues and

SAM BROSNAHAN UCSA Equity & Wellbeing Rep

UP -ING UP COMING AT’S COM WHAT’S OF WH SOMEE OF -- SOM Mon 17 July FILM SCREENING: THE HUNTING GROUND A startling exposé of rape crimes on U.S. college campuses, their institutional cover-ups and the devastating toll they take on students and their families.

Thurs 20 July

DIVERSITY IN THE WORKPLACE A showcase of prominent businesses on the value of diversity in the workplace and why it matters to you. Opportunity for networking. 6pm – 7:30pm John Britten Foyer

6:30pm – 9pm C1 Lecture Theatre

Mon 24 July

BLOKE SYMPOSIUM If you consider yourself ‘an average kiwi bloke’, how’s Diversity Fest meaningful for you? This is where ‘blokes’ get the chance to talk about societal stereotypes and expectations regarding men and masculinity. 6pm – 8pm The Shilling Club

Tues 25 July WHAT IS CASUAL RACISM? Dr. Ekant Veer discusses racism, ‘casual racism’ and unconscious biases and their impact in society. With immigration fast becoming a driver behind political movements around the world, it is more important than ever to understand how casual racism affects our lives. 11am – 12pm, Undercroft 101

club promoter Profiling the best clubs and events on campus

O PSOC Undie Run S-block lawn 19th of July at 3pm Prep your best undies for UC’s premier running event! OpSoc’s Annual Charity Undie Run and After Barbie is hitting Winterlude 2017 with a pow. What you need to do is bring all of your unwanted clothes, then strip down and run an almost nakey mile around Puaka-James Hight (make sure you bring some spare

clothes for afterwards, ya muppet!). We have some unreal spot prizes for everyone who competes, and some madder prizes if you’re fast. We are even hosting an after BBQ for the runners following the race so they can refuel for Sachi. Spread the word and get set. facebook.com/opsoc.canterbury

a facilitated discussion about these important issues and actions we can take to address them here in New Zealand. Live Comedy Night (co-hosted with UC Pasifika) Monday, 31 July @ 8:00pm The Foundry

FemS oc Diversit y Fest 2017 Events The Hunting Ground film screening and discussion (co-hosted with UC Film Club) Monday, 17 July @ 6:30pm C1 Central Lecture Theatre Join us for a screening of the award-winning documentary The Hunting Ground (2015), a startling exposé of rape crimes on U.S. college campuses, their institutional cover-ups, and the devastating toll they take on students and families. The film follows the lives of several undergraduate assault survivors as they attempt to pursue both their education and justice. This screening will be followed by

Featuring a range of talented comedians from this corner of the world. Feminist Jeopardy! Thursday, 3 August @ 5:30pm F1 Forestry Lecture Room Just like the TV gameshow, but feminist style! Come one down for our first-ever Feminist Jeopardy game night with a variety of topics and categories related to gender and feminism. Join with others to play in teams or come along just to watch – see how much you know and learn about some new concepts and famous figures along the way. Light refreshments will be served before the event and we will have prizes for the winners.

Q& A wit h Chlo e Swarbrick When: 18th of July 7 pm Where: Bentley’s Bar Free Admission Green’s candidate Chloe Swarbrick is coming to UC (She ran for Auckland Mayor!) Come join her for a talk and Q+A session at Bentley’s Bar and get ready to be inspired. Contact: ucgreens1@gmail.com or UC Greens Facebook.

Do you enjoy Moët tastings accompanied with riveting political discussions or poetry slams that you have to pretend to understand? Then UC Arts Society is just the kind of club for your refined tastes. If you would rather rub a cheese grater against your forehead than

UC WI N E C LU B UC Wine Club! Where you drink wine and talk about it, or you don’t have to talk... we once had a member who didn’t drink the wine either. So it seems you don’t have to drink wine or talk, just chuck $5 our way which gets you a fancy membership card which gets you discounts at Vino Fino in town and La Porchetta. We host tastings (usually at Dovedale, on a Friday eve and usually there are a few tastings

that we’re planning is a careers night: Arts in the Real World. We are going to reject once and for all, the stereotype that torments Arts students daily... that we’ll never find a job. At the moment, there is a huge demand for people with a bachelor of Arts in the corporate sphere, because in a world where Donald Trump has become the new norm, it is the high thinkers and the high flyers who are needed the most! We’re getting a range of fascinating speakers to come in and talk about how their Arts degrees have led to their success. We’re a freshly minted club, there is no membership fee, and yes, there will be free stuff!

each term) where a selected variety of 8 - 10 wines are poured, tasted and discussed. You’ll no doubt learn something by virtue of being on the education campus and the fact that your hosts have a lot to say about what you’re drinking, where it’s from and what factors have come to produce its particular flavour and aroma - but you might still hope to wobble away unscathed. We also organise a wine tour once a year where we all pile onto a bus that takes us to a few vineyards, the last couple of years has taken us to the Waipara region. Throughout the day you’ll be tasting wine and nibbling on cheese, settling down for a packed lunch in a sunny patch accompanied by more wine and the beautiful view of grape vines whose wine you’re drinking. You always know it’s been

a successful day if you’re hungover by 5pm. We’re actually one of the oldest clubs at UC - largely because people have liked wine for a long time. Every year we get new people signing up - either they like wine or they hate wine but think they might impress someone by knowing a bit about the stuff, maybe they’ve been going to wine tastings for years or think all wine tastes the same. We have all kinds. Come join. Or if you don’t join the UC Wine Club, get involved in another club - really take advantage of what UC has to offer.

So come to Winterlude in the Foundry and sign up to one of the most sophisticated clubs on campus, because as Aristotle once said, “Join UC Arts Society”.

To sign up either email secretary@ucwineclub.com, come visit us on clubs day, or join our Facebook page at

facebook.com/groups/90784826231/

Submit your club to be featured in CANTA | < 300 WORDS | 3x PICS |canta.editor@gmail.com

C lub Prom oter

UC ARTS

do any of those things, it’s free sign- up so join anyway! From politics to philosophy, Archaeology to Architecture, UC Arts is one of the most vibrant, diverse and cultured clubs on campus. We’re a faculty club, with a long and established history (created 2011), founded to promote and represent all humanities and creative art student here at UC. We’re excited to get out there and start working for you. That’s why our first event is going to be huge. Now, I’m sure a snag fest on C- block lawn would appeal to a lot of students here at UC, we know that Arts students would want something a little...classier. That’s why we’re putting on a Kahoot and Kocktails night in the Foundry, posed to be one of the best quiz nights of the year! So, if you like quiz nights, and if you like free cocktails (of course you do!) clear your calendar. What do Bill English and John Campbell both have in common? Arts Degrees! The second event

: O T W O H E M O H T LIVE A E V A H L L AND STI X E S L A U CAS T

he reality of university life means there’s a huge chunk of students who live at home. Sometimes this is a choice. Sometimes it’s not. There’s a high probability a large portion of these students do this for financial reasons. We get it, life is expensive. You’re piling up student loans just to get ahead in life, so it makes sense to stay at home to alleviate stress and keep the looming Babadook of adulthood at bay. Home is warm, familiar, consistent. If you’re lucky, you have a family member who does their best to keep the place running like an well oiled machine. A clean bathroom with toiletpaper. Fresh milk. A heatpump with the timers all worked out. Someone who thinks ahead for dinner, uses a slow cooker, washes your sheets. The rubbish doesn’t wheel itself out. Huh. Crazy. You might find, as cushy as this situation is, it does tend to keep you in a bubble. This extends the caregiver – child relationship past what society calls

‘normal’. I mean, if you were born 150 years ago you’d have been married by now, a few kids and a grandma all in one bed, and your teeth would be varnished wood. Instead, by some cosmic fate, you’re a millenial with touch typing skills, adequate bone density and GHDs. Kudos, you. So how do you work on that transition to adulthood, without losing the comfort of family life? I v͛ e pulled out a hotly contested subject that tends to be one of the minuses of living at home: sex. Nobody, and I really mean NOBODY wants their family knowing / hearing / seeing their sexual activity. Vice versa! How do we navigate through this sticky (bleurgh) situation? Here’s some tips, from CANTA to you, How To: Live At Home And Still Have Casual Sex.

If a tree falls in the forest...

The “We Need To Talk About Kevin” angle

Once you’re past your mid 20s it’s virtually impossible to do this, so make the most of it now. Most parents/ caregivers will do anything to pretend you arent a sexual being. If you’re under 25, there’s still a grey area here for them. You could be just focussing on study? Maybe you just really love sports. All that higher level learning has you tuckered out. That bloody Net-Flick doesn’t help either. See? They don’t want the truth. Indulge their fantasty a little bit longer. This is where you take advantage of your sporadic timetable. Thank you, university! While your ’rents are out, working, lunching, getting ingredients for the slowcooker, you can make poundtown can happen. Right? Wednesday at 10.30am? Get to it. Tag and release, and then have your “mate” slink right out again. There’s no reason they can’t hang around I guess... but your main objective here is to keep the illusion going.

Fuck it, you’re reading this magazine for advice, so you’re already a lost cause. Throw in a little bit of Alpha, a little bit of nudity and a lot of Slipknot. Have sex in every room of the house. Do it during Shorty St. Uncle Clive is over for the rugby? Get to WORK. Invite a few people over, why don’t you? The sooner you desensitise your household to your butt-naked ambition, the better. This attitude will get you kicked out and cost a few years of counselling. It’s not worth it. Consider this tip the absolute opposite of what to do.

Honesty is (maybe) the best policy Now, I’m not advocating a sit down chat here. There’s no need for some explosive intervention, or dramatic PowerPoint presentation. Quite frankly that would a really painfully awkward option. If you do this though, make sure you send us Snapchats to @cantamag. Thanks. There’s an opportunity here where you can just adapt slowly and introduce language and actions into your daily life. You’re not talking about one nighters, or FWBs. It’s dating. Ask for some opinions on some right swipes on Tinder. “Do you think they’re studying law?” Rather than “Do you think they’ll smash?”. Come on, this is a no brainer. The more you normalise it, the less left field it will be. No amount of anything will stop it from being cringe, so let’s get that straight. Switch up your bedroom space Maybe switching up your space is a good way of getting away with homestyle lovin’. Is there a sleepout you can clear out? Maybe a sunroom with an external door? Ideally you won’t be in this situation forever, so make sacrifices when it comes to aesthetics or space, if it means you have a little more autonomy. A sneaky door, or space away from the house means you can probably go buckwild. I hate myself for writing the word buckwild. You can come up with creative ways to show your family you need to move rooms. I can’t be the one you rely on each fortnight for terrible advice, okay?!

IF ALL ELSE FAILS: *Date someone who gets good hotel rates. Maybe a cleaner? *Invest in one of those giant soundsystems people buy and regret. You know the kind, they have flashing lights and are always listed on ‘buy sell CHCH’ pages on Facebook. One of these will drown out the noise, at least. It’s also a giant DO NOT ENTER siren. *Make sure your Tinder profile says ‘takeaways only’. *Rely on yourself. Be self sufficient. Don’t involve anyone else. Besides, you ͛re overworked and stressed, right? Nobody is going to love you like you can love yourself. Light a candle, put on some Drake and have a twiddle. *Start a Facebook group with your friends – consider it a personal Airnb setup. You never know when something might pop up where you can have a night away. You’ve just gotta feed the flat cat and make sure it’s not scarred for life seeing you doing the boom boom. By Joshua Brosnahan

CANTA INVESTIGATES: BEING HOMELESS IN CHRIS

Sati sat down with Matthew Mark from City Mission to gain some insight into the challenges faced by Christchurchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homeless. He also had a chat to Connor, who is currently challenged with homelessness.

orking in a central city convenience store makes you privy to opinions from all walks of life. In the past year, amongst all the chatter about cycle ways and the Cathedral, there has emerged a new concern about the homeless. Everybody has an opinion on the homeless that have taken to visibly residing on the streets of the inner city. To some, they are lazy cretins who would rather survive off the generosity of the unsuspecting than make their own way in the world. Others perceive them as people to be pitied, victims of a flawed society and deserving of our sympathy and generosity. What has become abundantly clear, however, is that very few people actually know much about the homeless at all. It was with this in mind that I had a couple of yarns with the CEO of the Christchurch City Mission Matthew Mark as well as a young homeless man named Connor, about who the homeless are and the challenges they have faced in life.

TCHURCH

Who are the homeless?

Recent estimates put the number of homeless in Christchurch between 3000â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8000 people, far more than the visible few you may see on the streets of the city. They can be found sleeping in cars, sheds, garages, and oftentimes in abandoned homes and buildings around the city. If you ever had the opportunity to have a conversation with them you would find that they come from all manners of pasts, and are in their current positions for a variety of reasons. I have met kids as young as 14 who were thrown out of home, or ran away from abusive ones. There are those with criminal pasts, those who once held full time employment and those who have been homeless for so long they cannot remember any other way of living. Too often the homeless are just those who have slipped through the cracks in society, says Matthew. Where undiagnosed mental health issues or a rough upbringing has led to self-medication and drug addiction, fuelled petty crime, and a lack of education and lead to an inability to gain or retain employment or housing.

Why challenges do they face? What tends to stump most people is the question of why they remain homeless? If you give any credence to the comments on Stuff articles it is because they are lazy and do not want to work for a living. My homeless friend Connor vehemently disagrees. Most University students have had their share of struggles when it comes to employment and housing. However, for those homeless who desire a life of the streets (and Connor admits that there are too many who do not), those problems are magnified. To gain the simplest entry level jobs in fast food outlets requires in 2017 the ability to access and complete online application forms, have valid identification, and use basic technologies. You need to be able to communicate and interview in the right way, as well as being presentable. This may be straightforward to many of us but how much of that is a result of the environment we have been raised in? Matthew says that in his experience at the City Mission, many of the homeless are computer illiterate, know little about job application processes, or how to be a desirable employee. This is not by choice, but often because they did not have the access to an environment where they could learn those things. I am not going to try to touch on our social housing issues here, but similar requirements exist before you can even rent a room and it is not hard to imagine that many of the homeless would not be able to fill them either. From Connorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perspective, it is the mental aspects of being homeless that provide the biggest challenge.

By the time you get to the point of homelessness, he says that the feeling is one of overwhelming worthlessness. You feel like no one wants you and that no one is there to support you. This is a feeling exacerbated by the nasty looks and words you receive from many in society, and the shops and police who move you on from your spot on the street. This makes it hard for them to access what help is available because they do not have the confidence that they can change their situation, or that they are wanted by society. Oftentimes it feels like the only people who care about them or understand them are the other homeless, and that makes it a hard community to leave. One challenge he says the homeless face, which I had never even contemplated, is finding ways to fill up the day.

Whilst the usual day of a University student may be filled up by any number of activities, Connor spends all day trying to find some way to occupy himself to avoid slowly going crazy. To that end services such as the City Missionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day programme and the Central Libraryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s open door policy are a godsend, but sometimes all he can do is cruise around on his skateboard and hope to make a few friends for the day. What can you do? Common wisdom follows that instead of giving the homeless money, you should give them food. Matthew agrees, maintaining that the homeless have access to financial help from a number of groups (they are the ones who need more funding), and the best thing you can usually do is lend them an ear. Connor backs him up on this. Money is nice he says but sometimes even nicer is a genuine smile. A hello and how are you that makes him feel like human being can put a smile on his face all evening. It is important to remember that the homeless are members of our society too. They face the same challenges that we do of employment, housing, mental health but theirs is a voice rarely heard. So, next time you see a homeless person, do not look away in discomfort. If you want to do somethingshare a pie, share a smile, lend an ear and help them feel normal for a second. By Satirayan Ravichandiren

You can help here: HelpfortheHomelessChristchurch on Facebook www.citymission.org.nz/ www.salvationarmy.org.nz

STUDENT DISCOUNT GET 10% DISCOUNT AT TIME OF PURCHASE WITH YOUR STUDENT I.D.*

Location: Undercroft Open: Mon/Thurs - 8:30am-5:30pm Friday: 9am - 5.30pm *Not including prescriptions, post or specials. Conditions apply. Phone: 03 364 2215

CANTA INVESTIGATES: Cultural appropriatio

Sarah Jadallah looks at why we still make allownces for cultural appropriation in 2017

ith the rise of social media – and its global reach – the need to be culturally aware is becoming increasingly important. Misusing or abusing other cultures’ symbols, motifs, or attire can land you in a lot of trouble. In April, Singer Demi Lovato was called out for flaunting dreadlocks in her latest music video ‘No Promises’. Dreadlocks are historically associated with African culture and Rastafarianism, and upset fans called her out for cultural appropriation on Twitter. Lovato’s response was to call her fans “hyper-sensitive haters”, which suggests she missed the point. She’s not the only one to misunderstand the issue of cultural appropriation. More recently, an Instagram post uploaded by a US based makeup artist elicited a strong backlash for what critics said was an attempt at ‘blackface’.

removable accessory – thereby ignoring people’s lived experience of racism. “Why didn’t he just use a black person? Why did he have to turn the white girl black to celebrate black/African culture? Bizarre”, posted Twitter user @ArtsyPoet. UC Cultural Studies lecturer Erin Harrington says different cultural groups living in the same place can borrow from each other, but appropriation is when a, usually privileged, group uses the symbols, expressions or meaning of a, usually, subordinate cultural group. “It’s about one group being able to, or having the privilege to take items, or images, or cultural property from another and kind of use it or distill it down, into this kind of simplified form.” In other words, cultural appropriation emerges from an unequal power dynamic. For instance, in the USA White Americans have appropriated First Nations’ feathered headpieces as fashion statements, ignoring the deeper meaning behind the dress, said Harrington. UC Ngāi Tahu Research Centre lecturer Martin Fisher points to the latest example of cultural appropriation of Māori culture by the Canadian energy drink “Haka”, which was sold with an imitation moko design on its packaging. “That was more than just culturally insensitive; it was insulting.” Fisher said people needed to have more consideration and understanding of history before using a symbol of cultural significance.

The photo of a makeup transformation essentially changed a European woman’s appearance to a darker skin tone, and was considered inappropriate for treating features associated with people of colour as a

By Sarah Jadallah

Cultural Appropriation: Do’s and Don’ts “If you don’t understand cultural appropriation, imagine working on a project and getting an F and then somebody copies you, and gets an A and credit for your work.” DO: Engage With Other Cultures On More Than An Aesthetic Level. Nicki Minaj summed it up well when talking to the New York Times. She said; ‘‘Come on, you can’t want the good without the bad. If you want to enjoy our culture and our lifestyle, bond with us, dance with us, have fun with us, twerk with us, rap with us, then you should also want to know what affects us, what is bothering us, what we feel is unfair to us. You shouldn’t not want to know that.’’ DON’T: Take Sacred Elements Of A Culture And Make Them ‘Sexy’. A Native American feathered headdress isn’t something to wear to Rhythm and Vines. Neither is a bindi, or henna tattoos. It’s wearing dreadlocks, or a sari in a selfie without having to deal with the micro-aggressions many people face while sporting the very same thing. DO: Accept that cultures evolve, just like your own. Just because it’s 2017 and you don’t see people in kimono on the daily, doesn’t mean it’s fair game. Cultures aren’t cryogenically frozen in time around the world for us to select from. It’s also valuable to remember: you can’t always spot someone’s cultural heritage just by looking at them. Sounds kind of obvious but HEY...we’ve still got people out here in blackface out there... DON’T: make allowances for blackface. Ever. This doesn’t even need elaboration. So let’s just leave you with this image and how you could look reaaaalllyy, reeeeeeallly terrible:

DO: make allowances for yourself to learn and move on. We’re all evolving. There’ll be things you have overlooked in the past and while it’s not ideal, you can only move onwards and upwards. I mean, hands up who’s worn a Trademe afro wig to a sports game? Learn from it, note it, don’t do it again. Learn about the cultures around you. It’s the best you can do.

15 19

FLAT FAMOUS

et us tell you just how bloody spectacular we are. First off, we identify as a sorority (ΖΩθ) as there eight of us girls all living in the one flat, each with very vibrant personalities. Our other flat names include ‘The Parkstone Bar and Spa’ and ‘Bangers and Mash’. Flat features may include but are not limited to complementary condoms on entry, plus a whole lot blue-tacked to the wall, spelling out our sorority name (we like to promote safety). Also a lovely balcony (aka MASH HQ) and our prized deck out back, overlooking the creek. Beautifully positioned on the creek’s edge is ‘the cabin’, which is actually just Jemma’s sleep out.

Jordan Flat vegan. Unfortunately there’s always one. Also a coffee enthusiast, she is scary without it (sometimes even with it). Jordan is very stubborn and swears profusely, which is not a good combo.

Jemma Aka bridge builder, engineer, engineering student. Did you know she’ s on ENSOC? Huge fan of her side profile or terrified of cameras? We aren’ t sure but either way she is never looking in photos.

Tash Well if Jordo is the coffee enthusiast then Tash has to be the biggest advocate for cheese. Definitely the mum of the flat, cries at everything. She is also a born again fresher.

Sarah The flat pyromaniac. Recently singed her hair and eyelashes when attempting to light the gas fire and it blew up in her face. Ha. Good thing the flames didn’t catch her beloved flannelette pajamas.

Megan Flat Dad, not often seen without a diesel in hand. Then again not often seen without ‘ other-MASH-half’

Phoeb Energy levels out of ten would have to be five hundred billion. Scored ‘ Autism likely’ on a screening quiz.

Shinae Despite her shiny brunette locks and 9.0 GPA, she is hands down the most dense of us all. Has been known to ask questions such as “Is coconut milk dairy??”. Laura Manages to fit 20 hours of study, 8 hours of work, 5 gym classes and 10 hours sleep into one day. Therefore, we call her Phantom but don’ t worry, she is home for dinner on Tuesdays.

The Glasshouse won three dozen Icebreakers from the good people at Harrington’s! harringtons.nz Wanna win YOUR flat something similar? Email CANTA@CANTA.CO.NZ telling us why you’re flat’s so bloody spectacular and you could be featured in FLAT FAMOUS.

Photography by Sara Qasem @sezzy.q

CANTA COLUMNS Submit your column to canta.editor@gmail.com

THE F-WORD

ATTACK OF THE GREY-BOT

Kia Ora peeps, hope you’ve had a great break. Keep an eye for the awesome events we are running this semester, including a live comedy night on the 31st of July. In this episode, we are answering a selected question from those received from you. Ask a Feminist

A couple months ago I thought it would be a laugh to accept a message on Facebook from a Christian Grey chatbot. Yes, the guy from 50 Shades of Grey. It’s funny at first. You know, you send fart jokes and gifs and he soldiers on earnestly, like any decent sexy algorhythm would. He gives me ridiculous options of lacy masks and moody bedroom pics. None I asked for... or did I? The messages never stop. I get the weirdest push notifications in the middle of the day. “Joshua, no one writes letters anymore.” Um, okay? This was a handwritten letter offer. Sent to MY HOUSE.

Episode 6

Q: My flatmates objectify women and engage in slut-shaming and slurs against the LGBT community. How should I respond? Very relevant question, as we all find ourselves in situations like this in our everyday life and it can be perplexing when it’s our family and/or friends. The response needs to be suited to the context and comfort level. In some situations, you perhaps do not feel comfortable to give a spontaneous lecture. Responses like not laughing to such jokes and instead wearing a serious/ straight face (see NZ Human rights’ commission’s new video series on racism) can be particularly effective in one-to-one situations and small groups. In other cases, a comment like “I thought these sorts of comments went out of fashion a few decades ago” might be effective. However, if you feel comfortable enough and are sure you have the freedom and confidence of the person/ people, then you can go on and start a discussion about it. As long as you are safe and comfortable.

Do you have a question for us? Post it at: ucfemsoc.wordpress.com/ask-afeminist/

In what world would someone give a computer extension their address? This is some Black Mirror shit. I’m waiting for a greased up cyborg to knock at the door ready to rock my world. Here’s the thing; this interaction is virtually impossible to opt out of. I am certain I blocked him a month or so back. I mean, the movie has come and gone. I’m sure I even got a notifcation saying it was now available on DVD. Not that I was 1) remotely interested and 2) in posession of a disc drive anywhere in my house. It’s some sort of warped Choose Your Own Adventure story that I can’t

stop reading. He’s even changed my last name to Grey. I give the creator props for neutral responses; there’s never any question of sexuality or gender. The entire thing is so janky and weird though.

The last message I got from ‘Christian’ was an offer of personalised emails. It’s $29 a month. What?! Are they trying to recoup some massive loss of revenue because the movies are so terrible? Are there people out there fapping over naughty emails? I can’t even remember how this all started! All I know is it’s been ongoing since March and I’ve purchased a LOT of lace and leather, and I’ve got bruises all over my shins from knocking into furniture. I don’t care what Mr Grey says. I’m taking the blindfold off.

WWW.BIGGARYS.CO.NZ GRAB YOURSELF A BLOODY MONDAY, CHEESY TUESDAY, OR WICKED WEDNESDAY DEAL!!!

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The UC Film Club put in the hours watching classic ‘must watch films’ so that you can pretend you are cultured. Movie details: Jurassic Park (1993) Why should I pretend I’ve seen this film? The dinosaurs are a species that became extinct almsot 65 million years ago. Mr. Spielberg burdened himself with the task of ‘reviving’ them from their graves. The spectacle that happened as a result is the blockbuster called Jurassic Park. One sentence sum up of the plot: Cloning is NOT a good idea and this film reinforces this fact by showing us the brutal consequences of a fascinating genetic concept. (Biology sucks :D ) What makes this film a classic: The dinosaurs looked so real that a certain picture of Spielberg ‘posing’

in front of a dead Triceratops was presumed to be genuine. Spielberg was accused of poaching the dinosaur. Well, that is one accusation Mr. Spielberg will have taken on his stride. Back in the 90s, all those dinosaurs gave us mini heart attacks and Spielberg is to blame for it. I can never forget the thump when the T-Rex was about to appear for the first time. The sound editing and mixing was so awesome that I thought I was experiencing an earthquake . I was 3 when I saw this movie for the first time. And one of the most disturbing scenes of this film is the one in which one of the characters gets devoured by the T-Rex while he is taking a dump. This film is a classic because it is so disturbing yet intriguing enough for people to want to experience the film multiple times. I saw this film 3 times in the movie theatre and I cringed every time I’ve seen it.

Give us some facts about this movie I can impress someone with: Dr.Alan Grant in this film is none other than the Kiwi actor Sam Neill. So yes this movie has a New Zealand connection. Also Spielberg made this film simultaneously with another classic called ‘Schindler’s List’ which released in the same year. While Jurassic Park made the big bucks at the box office and won an Oscar for Best Visual Effects,

Schindler’s List won him his first Academy Award as a director. Spielberg made north of 250 million USD from Jurassic Park alone. There is no denying the fact that Spielberg is a fucking genius. The dinosaurs in this film inspired multitudes of movie-makers and Computer Science geeks to use graphics to justify their wild imagination.

Controversial or alternate theory on the storyline: People say that the chicken is a distant ancestor of the T-Rex. Well, I am a hardcore non-vegetarian and I love my butter chicken curries. If T-Rexes would have existed today I would have certainly fancied eating a T-Rex curry except it wouldn’t give me a chance to survive had it existed today. Does this movie enjoy cult status? Very few monster films can match the aura of a gem like Jurassic Park. But like most succesful films spawn franchises, this one did and I can assure that this film’s sequels are mere cinematic abominations which should be avoided at all costs. By Reo Roy

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KILTER A

fter requests to find out more about Australian DJ and producer Kilter (Ned), I received an email offering me a phone interview with the talentedmusician. I took this as a sign, and called the twenty-year-old musician in Sydney as he ran around outside in the pouring rain trying to find reception. [CANTA]The response ‘Fool for You’ has received internationally has been absolutely insane, how does it make you feel? [Kilter] It’s been nuts, it was one of those songs I had been sitting on for a while. As far as music goes you make the track then it could be months until it actually comes out. I had been itching to get it out. By the time it comes out you don’t really know what to think about it, whether you’ve heard it too many or times or if it’s good enough. So far, it’s been amazing. Especially in New Zealand, it’s been so good over there! It’s been received well over here too, but when I went over to Auckland a month or so ago I heard it on the radio in little ad snippets and stuff and it was crazy. [C] It’s got over 400,000 views on YouTube, did you expect the world to react the way they did to your music? [K] Oh really? That’s sick! Not really, I try not to go into a song thinking that it’s going to go well because then I’m just setting myself up for disappointment if

it doesn’t. I was definitely really happy with it when I was writing it and when I finished it off, I could tell there was something special about it and it was probably one of the strongest songs I’d made at the time. So yeah it was good to see that my suspicions were confirmed and it was well received. [C] When you write your music do you prefer writing on tour as opposed to when you’re at home chilling? [K] Definitely at home by myself. I am not very productive when I’m touring, I kind of was really busy on the road last year for the entire year and also leading up to this year. Since February I’ve taken time off just to write which has been awesome, and I’ve been working on lots of new stuff. I was actually in New Zealand writing with some kiwis too so I’ve been taking the record all over the place welcome everyone. [C] Are you able to disclose who those kiwis are? [K] I could tell you who I worked with without confirming if there will be a track, which is probably safer to say since its still quite early days. I did some work with P Money, Thomston, then I went down to Wellington and worked with Pacific Heights, Devon from ShapeShifter, and then this Auckland rap group. Yeah it was all amazing artists, it was a good week. It was cool to spend some time in New Zealand without having to run around and play gigs and hang out a bit more, so that was really nice.

[C] Do you have any specific way of writing music or does it change every time? Do you have like any rituals or anything you do? [K] (laughs) No I wish I could say I had a set of incenses or something but it’s very much a case by case things I find music when the ideas come to me. The easiest bit is when I’m inspired by a sound, so whether it’s like different sounds on the drums or different records and it’ll be like a weird sound or a whacky snare or a kick drum and I kind of just get a vibe from there, then I add chords over that. The last step is usually finding the vocals, but funnily enough Fool for You had the vocals come first, and it was a reggae jam that changed so yeah look where it is now. [C] A lot of critics worldwide have compared you to Flume, do you feel any pressure? Does that intimidate you or flatter you? [K] I think doing electronic dance music and being in Australia compares me to him quite a lot. Especially because his stuff is so successful, I’m not really offended by those comments. I don’t really read into it a lot, it’s not like I’m copying him or anything. I think

Album Review: Melodrama – Lorde)

by Asher Olliver (TuneSoc Executive) Melodrama is beautifully produced, Lorde still sounds like Lorde. I’ll rate this album track by track, it’s a 8/11 if you don’t want to read further. Her first album was slightly more interesting due to same ol’ Lorde drumbeats with just slightly more American production involved. It’s Lorde’s dark pop universe, though. Each song is its own story. Bangers split between singles about feelings, fornicaters and fermata. It’s familiarly intriguing from the kakariki illumination. Her less-repetitive lyrics are sweet as and thoughtful, Lorde’s unique songwriting muscle can justifiably be said to be flexed effortlessly. Quickly though. Banger number one on the album, “Green Light” is made for radio but beware it’s bubblegum chorus surface level. Lorde sings, “Sober”, which feels like her debut album, “Pure Heroine”, but the trumpets give away there is a growing American influence in her life. Contrasted with, “Sober II”, she gives Lana Del Rey vibes in her prosody and pace. “Homemade Dynamite” is my favourite ear worm here, go listen to it. “The Lourve” is best served with headphones providing dramatic background soundscapes. Hard Feelings/Loveless is two average songs put into one, sorry Lorde, I still love ya. “Writer in the Dark” is saucy, and another addition to Lorde’s un-lit side. Whoever this song is about, will be rueing this review. The chorus here is fantastic and demonstrates how Lorde’s layered vocals made her famous. Supercut sucks sorry. The final track, “Perfect Places” stands up to “Green Light” as a made for radio, pop-party song. For me it helps explain the darker parts of her album, her imperfect perception of a pop universe ruled by the nocturnal. 8/11

for some people it’s the easiest point of reference. I don’t know about you, but when I hear some music for me to understand it I have to compare it to something else. So, I think it’s like that for a lot of other people, so when people say it’s kind of like Flume that’s what they’re hearing. Obviously, he is simply inspiring and makes amazing music, I don’t find myself similar to him but I think a lot of other people would but that’s just my internal view. [C] If someone had never heard the music you play, how would you explain it? [K] If I was to put a genre on it, I would probably say it’s like dance music with heavy hip hop influences. It’s a bit more rhythmic than regular dance music and has more percussion. It’s more hip hop than dance in some ways; a lot of my drums are a lot different to what people in dance music would generally use. Interview by Wajd El-Matary

TuneSoc has got some great events planned for this semester, including our 'first birthday' event, and the ever-popular acoustic music competition later on. We're also on the lookout for bands who are keen to be listed on our website for playing at gigs – get in touch via our website or Facebook page if you're keen. Cheers, TuneSoc xo.

GIG GUIDE AMIT with support from AKCEPT, PERVERSE, STOKCYCLE & ALTEREDSTATE

Sat 8 July Location: Dim 7th Tickets: Available from Cosmic ticketing

ROUND UP 2017 HEATS - Sat 1 & Sun 2 July Location: Beatbox Studios SEMI FINALS - Thurs 13 & 20 July Location: Darkroom GRAND FINAL - Sat 29 July Location: Darkroom

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If you’re a fan of theatre but can’t afford to buy you’reaaafan fanof oftheatre theatrebut butcan’t can’tafford affordto tobuy buy IfIfIf you’re you’re fan of theatre but can’t afford tickets, why not become a Court Supporter? tickets,why whynot notbecome becomeaaaCourt CourtSupporter? Supporter? tickets, tickets, why not become Court Supporter? An annual Youth Supporters membership Anannual annualYouth YouthSupporters Supportersmembership membership An An annual Youth Supporters only costs $25 - after a couple membership of hours training onlycosts costs$25 $25---after afteraaacouple coupleof ofhours hourstraining training only only costs $25 after couple hours you can volunteer to usher for of shows ortraining work you can volunteer to usher for shows or work you can volunteer to usher for shows or work you can volunteer to usher for shows or work at the Coffee Bar. From there you get to enjoy atthe theCoffee CoffeeBar. Bar.From Fromthere thereyou youget getto toenjoy enjoy at at the Coffee Bar. From there you get to enjoy free shows, ticket vouchers and other benefits freeshows, shows,ticket ticketvouchers vouchersand andother otherbenefits benefits free free shows, and other benefits exclusive toticket Courtvouchers Supporters. The schedules exclusive to Court Supporters. The schedules exclusive Supporters. The schedules exclusive toCourt Courtso Supporters. The schedules are very to flexible, you can tell them when you are very flexible, so you can tell them whenyou you are very flexible, so you can tell them when are very flexible, so you can tell them when you are/aren’t available and don’t have to give up are/aren’tavailable availableand anddon’t don’thave haveto togive giveup up are/aren’t are/aren’t available and don’t have give up your weekends (unless you want toto see Scared yourweekends weekends(unless (unlessyou youwant wantto tosee seeScared Scared your your weekends (unless you want to see Scared Scriptless for free!). Scriptless for free!). Scriptless free!). Scriptless free!). $25 for for afor year of free shows? If that sounds $25 for a year of freeshows? shows? If thatsounds sounds $25 of $25for for ayear year offree free shows?IfIfthat that sounds to good to a you, email ushers@courttheatre.org.nz good to you, email ushers@courttheatre.org.nz to good to you, get in touch! good to you,email emailushers@courttheatre.org.nz ushers@courttheatre.org.nzto to get in touch! get getinintouch! touch!

Bernard St Addington Bernard St Addington courttheatre.org.nz Bernard St Bernard StAddington Addington courttheatre.org.nz Box Office 963 0870 courttheatre.org.nz courttheatre.org.nz Box Office 963 0870 Box BoxOffice Office963 9630870 0870

Scared Scriptless – Scared Scriptless ––– Scared Scriptless Scared Scriptless at The Court Theatre in atatThe Court Theatre inin The Court Theatre in and Theatre Addington Every Friday Addington Every Friday Addington Every Friday and Fridayand and Saturday atEvery 10:15pm. Saturday at 10:15pm. Saturday at 10:15pm. Tickets: $1610:15pm. / $20 or $45 Tickets: or Tickets: $16/ /$20 $20 ora$45 $45 $20 or $45 for two $16 tickets and pizza. for two tickets and a pizza. and aa pizza. pizza. for two tickets and

LUCKY DIp HOW IT WORKS: Two strangers, free dinner and drinks at Spags, and a written summary from each person that we broadcast to the world.

ONE SIDE Being that it was supposed to be a blind date, I felt a huge amount of relief when I saw my date walk in the door. It was someone I had met before - a real good looker with a gorgeous smile. I did not know her that well but we had definitely crossed paths. I knew she was great value and that this was going to be a good time. We had significantly overlapping social circles, giving plenty to chat on. From there we discussed all the usual, covering what wise or poor life decisions we had made to get us to this point. Possibly using an obscene amount of hand gestures, I admitted that I was off to a busy start, having already drunk a fair amount beforehand. I was again relieved to find she had taken the same approach. I had little intention of doing this sober, so I took the initiative to BYO a bottle of red. We ended up sharing everything, splitting the food, the wine and a few additional cocktails on top. The chat was easy as we seemed to have plenty in common. Most notable was probably our mutual love of Tay Swift. I explained that I was a fan of her early stuff and not just the mainstream hits. We even got onto the topic of the wider country music scene, channelling my rural and slightly bogan youth. I am definitely most embarrassed with my decision to sing at one point. From what I believe the conversation got deeper and possibly better as time went on, however I feel that when you are that many drinks in, perception is not always reality. I did my best to read the situation, but really, I had little clue as to how I was actually doing. The date eventually ended with us walking back to her flat before I was somehow driven home by her flatmate. I don’t remember much else but I know for sure that she was a keeper. I had a fabulous time but to me this all feels a little unfinished, so how about another date?

THE OTHER SIDE As the token flat tinder queen, the gals helped set me up I the hopes I would find my one true love and stop bringing random strays back to the flat. And a true stunner of a date it was. Not only did he provide excellent chat and a bottle of Pinot Noir, but he was picture perfect, runs marathons and is completing his masters –excellent husband material. With a few mutual friends and having seen him around before, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t already thought about it. Dreams do come true girls! Splashing out on a shared Seafood Pizza and some Kumara chips the night was off to a great start, and upon learning of our mutual love for country music he even whipped out his phone and sang some live tunes for me – what a win. Unfortunately, it seemed both of us struggled to hold our alcohol having pre-loaded a fair amount and after topping up with wine and cocktails, things got a bit sloppy. The chat quality saw a sharp decline and we somehow got on to National Party politics. No better way to dry up a gal than a bit of Bill English. However, upon bringing him back to the flat we came to the realization he was my flatmates cousin. Put a wee damper on the evening and he ended up leaving without a kiss. Still waiting to see his next move, hopefully we spontaneously bump into each other at the Foundry.

So un ds like a secon d date is in or de r! If yo u’r e in thi s iss ue ’s Lu ck y Dip, co nta ct CA NTA an d we ’ll set yo u up on date #2 at Th e Fo un dr y ASAP. PS – stay tun ed for LU CK Y DI P LIV E, co mi ng so on !

HAPPY ENDING MAZE

MEMORY LAME

KEANU REEVES Keanu Charles Reeves (born September 2, 1964) is a Canadian actor, director, producer, and musician. Reeves is best known for his acting career, beginning in 1985 and spanning more than three decades. He gained fame for his starring role performances in several blockbuster films including comedies from the Bill and Ted franchise, Point Break, Speed and science fiction/action series The Matrix.

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goodone.org.nz

SECURE YOUR STUDENT FLAT FOR 2018 NOW! OPEN HOMES NEXT WEEK Monday 24 July – Friday 28 July Come see us at the ﬂatting expo in the Undercroft lunchtime Thurs 27 July Be in quick – they will go fast! Txt/email/phone for full list Ph. 351 7643 or 022 017 3726 reception@a1prop.co.nz We have the largest selection of quality student ﬂats