CANTA #9 2021

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EDITORIAL It’s called fashion, darling.

If I were asked to sum up my fashion sense, I would call it Weyland Smithers on his day off. I can wear clothes and match them together, I think. Am I the most out there with my fashion? No. I like earth tones and have about eight plain white tees.

Alas, I do love fashion and have long found myself oogling at celebrities gracing the red carpet – thank you, E! Red Carpet News for that. I suppose I should also thank New Zealand Woman’s Weekly – rest in peace.

I’m very excited to present to you our Fashion Issue. Inside, you’ll find conversations about camp, mullets, TikTok brides, hats, caffeine stereotypes, and the hottest dictators.

So, drop that copy of Teen Vogue, make this issue’s sandwich, and get lost in the glorious content ahead of you.

Lots of love to you, Liam Stretch

Welcome to our fashion issue!

Fashion is a fickle thing. Sometimes things are fashionable; sometimes they aren’t. Then again, wearing lots of unfashionable things is then sometimes fashionable. The list of contradictions goes on and on...

But my advice – coming from someone who wears a lot of bright, colourful, and arguably ugly clothing – is to wear whatever you goddamn like! Stop dressing for other people, dress for yourself. As soon as you make that change, it’s wonderfully freeing.

In this issue, you’ll also find bios from all the candidates running in the UCSA election. A chance for you to familiarise yourself with those vying to advocate for you. Please vote in these elections. If you think the UCSA doesn’t do a good enough job, then vote for some student representatives that you think will do an effective job.

If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain. Yes, I know it’s very easy to complain about the UCSA. But just vote first, so it’s justified.

Much love, Liam Donnelly

CONTENTS 08 NEWS

CANTA TEAM Managing Editor Liam Donnelly - editor@canta.co.nz

10 BROKEN NEWS

Print Editor Liam Stretch - print@canta.co.nz

14 DANNI DUNCAN

News Editor Emily Heyward Designer Conor Jones

16 CAMP 20 CAFFEINATED FASHION 22 MULLET MANA

Feature Writers Neueli Mauafu Lily Mirfin Ella Gibson Ella Somers Contributors Kim Fowler Rev. Dr John Fox

Digital Editor Pearl Cardwell-Massie

24 FANCY SOME HEAD?

Audio Editor Asher Etherington

26 THE FASHION OF DICTATORS

Video Creative Director MaCaulay Quinn

30 RECIPE

34 HAUTE-OSCOPES

Want to get involved with canta?

VISIT CANTA.CO.NZ

President's piece

By Kim Fowler (they/them)

Kia orana team, It’s week 5 of term 3 – which means that UCSA elections are coming up. Regardless of how you feel about them, elections decide who will be on the UCSA next year. The UCSA Exec will make decisions about the UCSA and advocate for you to UC. The UCSA Exec are the governance board of the UCSA and provide direction and feedback to the UCSA CEO and the Senior Leadership team. They also sit on heaps of committees at UC, telling them what students want. The Exec also get a chance to input on other things, like Tea Party and Mono! Some of this might sound boring, but it is pretty important – so vote in the upcoming election. By voting, you can choose candidates that properly represent you, make good decisions and get the job done!

Campaigning is continuing for the next couple of days, then voting starts on Wednesday 18th at 9am and closes on Friday 20th at 5pm. When voting for student reps, it’s good to think about people who are informed, onto it and have your best interests and those of the UCSA at heart – whatever those may be.

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You’ll have opportunities to meet candidates around campus as they campaign in lectures or in your halls. There’s also the President or Tumuaki debate at 12pm on Tuesday 17th August, where you’ll get to quiz the potential presidents on themselves and their policies!

We’re starting to reach the hectic part of the year, so make sure you look after yourself and your mates!

Try and keep up with your courses and attend lectures as it’s always easier to stay on top of everything that way.

However, if that’s starting to get hard, reach out for help. You can always mention it to your lecturer to see if there’s anything they can do to accommodate you in the course or reach out to student care or our advocacy and welfare team if you need more support.

Kim

tumuaki piece

By Rosa Hibbert-Schooner

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NEWS FRUSTRATION AFTER VEHICLES TARGETED IN UC CAR PARK

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

Students are calling for improved security measures across campus after cars were broken into in Clyde car park.

“It’s just pretty annoying that you pay for UC parking and what is the service that they provide? What are we paying for?”

Keeshent Thevanarayanan and Dominic Garcia* both parked their vehicles in the student car park, and within 48 hours of each other, both returned to find their car windows smashed into.

Garcia agreed that students should be able to park their cars at uni and expect them to be secure, especially in the middle of the day.

“I was pretty angry cause it happened on UC campus in broad daylight,” Garcia said.

Garcia parked his car in the car park about 10am and returned about 1pm to find shattered glass everywhere and his spare phone stolen.

While Thevanarayanan left his car at uni overnight and returned the following evening to find his vehicle surrounded by traffic cones, before realising what had happened.

“I was like ‘those cones don’t look very friendly’. I kept walking closer and was like ‘I hope nothing’s wrong’. I saw glass everywhere and for a second I was like ‘wait really, really?’”

Thevanarayanan said.

Thevanarayanan said he was frustrated that his car was broken into despite security cameras operating in the area.

He said students should be able to feel safe on campus and not have to worry about whether their cars will be broken into.

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“Things need to change. The fact that students pay money to park there, and for their cars to not even be assured safety is ridiculous. Security needs to live up to their name,” he said.

Both students reported the incidents to UC Security and Police.

In response to the concerns and criticisms raised about security on campus, UC Security manager Ken McEwan said in a statement that action had been taken to discourage potential thieves from operating in Clyde car park.

“University of Canterbury Security Officers patrol the campus 24-hours per day, 7 days a week and provide assistance and support for students and staff. Criminal activity is reported to the New Zealand Police, who have the authority to trace registered car owners (UC does not have this authority). We have put additional resource in that carpark to deter potential thieves.” *Name has been changed at the student’s request.

NEWS REPORTS OF HARASSMENT

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

Harassment is the most common type of incident reported anonymously to the University of Canterbury, according to information obtained under the Official Information Act (OIA).

Since UC launched its online ‘Report It’ tool in 2019, allowing people to disclose concerning behaviour informally and anonymously, reports of harassment, including sexual and racial harassment, have been the most prevalent.

Students, staff, members of the public or visitors to UC are able to report bullying, discrimination, harassment, sexual harassment, racial harassment, sexual assault, campus safety concern or ‘other’ concerns, without having to go through the formal complaints process.

University of Canterbury executive director of people, culture and campus Paul O’Flaherty says the University has been working to encourage a culture where students and staff feel safer expressing concerns or making complaints.

“I think any rise in complaints is a reflection of the comprehensive processes we now have in place,” he says.

O’Flaherty says UC takes every complaint, both formal and informal, seriously.

“For us, one incident is one too many but we would much rather know about it and be able to respond.”

A student club that aims to raise awareness of rape culture and support survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault says it is not surprised to hear that people have reported experiencing harassment.

She encourages anyone needing support to get in touch with the club.

“If any student ever feels uncomfortable in a sexual way, is harassed or assaulted, they can come to us to disclose this (even anonymously). We can advocate for them and send people in the right direction towards qualified and confidential support services,” she says.

“We as a club also encourage everyone from lecturers and tutors, to students, to the deans’ offices, right to the chancellor’s office to make change. This needs to be an effort by everyone to condemn this conduct.”

In 2019, 10 anonymous reports were made to the University about concerning behaviour, and 18 reports in 2020.

Report It allows people to report concerning behaviour that has occurred on campus, in student flats, halls of residence, online, on public transport or ‘off campus’. Information from Report It is used to identify trends and help UC undertake education and training aimed at reducing harmful behaviour.

Where to get help: Rape Crisis: 0800 88 33 00 Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time Lifeline - 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) Victim Support - 0800 842 846 Shine - 0508 744 633 In a life-threatening situation, call 111 canterbury.ac.nz/report-it

“Thursdays in Black is concerned for students of UC due to these saddening statistics, but we are also unfortunately not surprised,” president Molly Thomas says.

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NEWS EMPTY VACUUM OF SPACE TO BE POSTGRAD REP A giant void of nothingness is likely to become the next postgrad representative on the UCSA Executive.

Nominations for the UCSA elections closed with no candidates stepping forward for the Postgrad representative role.

“For a cohort who love to complain, it’s amazing not a single one wants to be Postgrad Rep,” said a spokesperson for the elections.

University management, however, celebrated the result, concluding that “no candidates obviously means no problems, whatsoever”.

UCSA PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE REPLACED WITH JELLY WRESTLING

UC PUTS IN BID TO HOST OLYMPIC GAMES

The UCSA Presidential Debate had been replaced by a jelly wrestling match between the two candidates.

Following the conclusion of the Tokyo Olympics, the University of Canterbury has high hopes to host the next available Olympic games.

“I just thought this would be a lot more interesting than a debate… also sexier,” said adjudicator Liam Donnelly The jelly wrestling would take place in the Undercroft, but instead of the usual stage and lecterns, it would be one of those blue, shell-shaped paddling pools and two men in speedos.

The change comes at a time when student engagement in the elections is low and appears to be a calculated attempt at making the elections more interesting.

“We are excited to announce that UC has officially submitted a bid to host the Olympic Games,” they said in a press release.

“Hosting an incredibly large, elaborate event that gives the university 16 days of exposure is worth the millions in debt.”

The UCSA has teamed up with UC to host the games and has proudly announced A1 Property as the principal sponsor of the games.

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By Reverend Dr John Fox

I found a photo of teenage me the other day, aged 14 in 1997. I was a cool cat – if I can say so myself. Complete with mullet, badass $3 shades, fluorescent clothes, and a “rad” headband.

Thank God the Tamagotchi wasn’t visible, although the sneakers and the dopey smile continue unchanged to this day.

The crazy thing about fashion is how much it changes. The same clothes which struck teenage me as awesomely cool now appear what they were (a bad copy of The Karate Kid). At the same time, for fear of what people might think of me, I was hiding the things which really did make me interesting: the ragged copy of The Tempest in my backpack (yes, I was that kid), the Faith that was developing as unevenly as my hair, and the life experiences I was to grow proud of later: a disabled person, an immigrant’s son, the man who longed to fall in love and learn the piano. I learned to like that guy.

We all need enough freedom to hoe our own furrow. As a professional eccentric, kick the tyres on your life and test what you believe in; that’s what uni is for. But the whole point is to graduate having built something: a person who is comfortable in their skin, someone with a soul. That means interrogating fashions as well as being blown around by them, holding on to the values and to the people who will help your life become deeper, and chasing what is true and good and beautiful, however much we debate what that means. Honest searchers find what is true – and themselves, in the search. As our scarfie friends remind us, “sapere aude”: dare to be wise, or to quote my friend Uncle Jesus, “those who seek find, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened”.

It’s a challenge to me that every religion older than about ten minutes ago is proudly unfashionable about some things: rules about food, sex, stuff, money, service, dogmas of various kinds, various devotional disciplines, however much people don’t see the point of them. Talk to the monks of several faiths who renounce sex, people and stuff, or simply watch me try to give up coffee for Lent – if you can handle the growling and swearing. Practising my Faith constantly challenges my own selfishness, my own sense that I am the centre of the universe. Like my friends who practice other faiths, I celebrate the fact I’m not in charge, that I am in an ancient conversation looking for the things that will outlast me: meaning, justice, purpose, peace. I find them in the face of Jesus, who called me in spite of the mullet, and I’m a priest because it’s the most meaning and adventure one can cram into one job. Even if your guiding star varies, though, think it through. You might need one when the fluoro fades.

Department of Spiritual Engineering Mobile: 0272868349 Office: Jane Soons (Geography) 404.

Email: john.fox@canterbury.ac.nz

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For this fashion issue, we thought we’d mix up the comedian feature and instead focus on someone in the fashion world. Meet Danni Duncan, an ethical fashion and honest skincare content creator. Liam Stretch had a chat with her about advocating for fair fashion and her tips and tricks for looking good.

1. Who are you?

Hello! I am a 31-year-old content creator who doesn’t own her own home, doesn’t have any children but is enjoying pursuing the businesswoman path for the foreseeable future.

2. What does fair fashion mean?

How long do we have? Fair fashion incorporates so many different aspects, from how much a garment worker is valued to who is being included in a brand’s size range. The industry is flawed in so many ways and is actually incredibly complex, but I’m doing my best to grow my understanding and pass that knowledge on to the people who follow me on Instagram.

3. What are your fashion must-haves?

As long as you’re feeling good in what you wear and have a chance to explore your own individual style, then must-haves change from person to person. I try not to get sucked into trends because it only leaves me feeling like I can’t keep up. I’m a thrift lover - with a special appreciation for wide-leg or flared pants.

4. What’s one skincare product that everybody should have?

SUNSCREEN! Literally wear it every single day, rain, hail or shine. Sunscreen is your biggest protector against signs of ageing (and trust me on that because I have got wrinkles in the places I was most burnt as a teen!)

5. What is the biggest problem with fast fashion?

It’s all about making money quick, easy and fast, and to do that, they cut corners where possible. Not paying garment workers what they deserve, using cheap fabrics that aren’t built to last and ripping off small designers.

6. You live in Napier now; what do you love about Hawkes Bay? We have brilliant blue skies the majority of the time, and it is so much warmer. I love it 7. What is one thing you’ve learnt while being an influencer?

9. Do you prefer your spring rolls fresh or fried?

Fried food always tastes better haha!

Some people suck. I’m a bit of a people pleaser, and while I do my best to use my account for an authentic purpose and passion, I still get dickheads that message me without taking the time to get context before they lash out. It’s definitely not been great for my anxiety levels.

10. What is a fashion trend that you hated/hate?

8. How did your journey for fighting for fairness begin?

Only very few people can pull them off. I am not one of them.

I was very much a trend-driven buyer and always felt like I didn’t have enough.

Every changing season I remember feeling anxious that I didn’t have the right clothes. In 2018, I watched The True Cost documentary, which tells the story of the Rana Plaza building collapse and explains the impact the fashion industry has on our planet and the people in it.

From there, I decided to quit fast fashion cold turkey and focus on developing my own style.

12. Sum up New Zealand fashion in one word.

Anything where your bits can easily pop out, hahaha. It’s just stressful!

11. Thoughts on Crocs?

Vanilla with a splash of rainbow (I know that’s more than one word, but we have to celebrate those who are pushing the boundaries).

13. What’s something you wear that you never thought you would?

Colour! I used to only wear black, white, beige and then when I started to explore my own style, I realised I love wearing bright colours.

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By Lily Mirfin (she/her)

Fashion is a diverse concept, and one of its most divisive elements is that of ‘campness’. Camp has roots in subculture and can be seen to have been elevated by pop culture in recent years – CANTA’s Lily Mirfin shares her hot take.

Camp as a concept is difficult to pin down. No, I’m not talking about literal camping (the only time you’ll see me doing that is at a festival – and even that’s a stretch). I’m talking about the aesthetic style that seems to be a bit hard to pin down. But it tends to be anything that seems to be in bad taste and is more than a bit ironic. Below lies a non-definitive list of things that are camp, just to familiarise yourself.

- John Waters - RuPaul (please refer to But I’m a Cheerleader) - Lady Gaga - Suzy Cato (a bit Kiwiana, maybe?)

- Cher. Cher. At all times. Doing anything.

Anything and everything has the potential to be camp to the right person. Of course, it’s an aesthetic, so individual interpretation differs.

The most recent Met Gala – an annual fundraising ball held for Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York City – was held in the now-distant year of 2019, after not going ahead last year due to Covid.

It feels like another era, and while fashion lovers wait for more Met Gala looks, we have to make do with the 2019 ensembles. Sadly, it seems that like me in Stats 101, many designers failed to understand the assignment.

I’m sorry, Karlie Kloss, but your outfit was the equivalent of my exam mark, the bare minimum, and that still fell short of the mark. But we can all say, without a doubt, that there were some supreme wins and absolute duds at the ‘camp-themed’ Met Gala.

Camp had the potential to be legendary. Whilst some grasped the theme and ran toward neoncoloured camp heaven with it (yes, Elle Fanning and Lady Gaga), others grasped it like it was a gifted avocado (thanks), and some just seemed to disregard it. But, in an effort to not get all down and out about the 2019 Met Gala, it’s important to realise there were some great moments. Getting Liza Koshy to host the red carpet was a good idea. But imagine how much better it would have been if they’d gone with a classic YouTuber. Maybe get the long-lost Fred to narrate. Now that would have been truly camp.

Undoubtedly Harry Styles – the man, the myth, the legend – looked wonderful on the carpet. But imagine what Alessandro Michele for Gucci could have done. Alessandro, why did you not dress Harry as Divine in Pink Flamingos? Sure, seeing a man in a single earring isn’t typical, but it’s also not at all radical. Camp is about pushing the boundaries on just about everything and questioning what taste is and who defines it. I’ll admit that little black sheer top was nice, but it was prim and proper in the eyes of camp.

One of the clear winners was Miley Cyrus playing homage to her Hannah Montana days. Other honourable mentions to Jared Leto and his head, and Billy Porter for being carried in by shirtless men. Congratulations, you understood the assignment.

Once you go camp, you never go back. The creative types that gave us the camp concept would probably have found the Met Gala a little lacklustre; however, it was pleasing to have visibility to a frequently disregarded segment of pop culture.

At the end of the day, camp is wacky self-expression. So where was all the wackiness? I guess we will just need to wait for the day that Anna Wintour decides to call a repeat of the 2019 Met Gala to give camp the justice it deserves. But then again, camp is about questioning the tastemakers.

So how long do we need to wait for John Waters to produce his own Met Gala?

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By Ella Somers (she/her)

When TikTok first hit the internet, it was unimaginable that the app that’s been downloaded over two billion times and has ruined the attention span of people everywhere would also be the perfect place to launch bridal fashion to new heights. But forget social media giants like Instagram and Pinterest – well-known hubs for bridal fashion content – it’s TikTok that’s giving bridal fashion the stage to reinvent itself.

People are flocking to TikTok for bridal fashion content, and that’s not going to stop anytime soon.

Looking at the platform’s huge numbers around anything to do with bridal fashion, the most popular hashtags like #bridal, #weddingdress, and #bride have reached a total of almost 10 billion views.

Thousands of creators now realise the opportunities that can be found in these huge numbers and are hopping onto TikTok to explore and capture bridal fashion in a way no other social media platform has quite managed to do. Like other social media platforms, TikTok has changed the marketing model. Now individual creators who want to show the process of creating their own bridal fits are just as successful – if not more so – as bridal fashion content being pushed out by bigger bridal designers and boutiques.

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TikTok has given small bridal businesses a chance to stand out from the noise that bigger bridal brands create in more traditionally commercial places. It’s definitely paid off for some small bridal bizs – some of the most viral bridal fashion videos and trends on TikTok have been made and started by smaller creators before more prominent bridal fashion names jumped on board.

The value that a strong TikTok presence can bring to a brand has also made many big bridal brands think critically about how they can target audiences in intriguing ways and capitalise on them at the same time. There are no rules of what makes good bridal fashion on a platform like TikTok, where everything is so experimental.

Thanks to TikTok, you can find absolutely everything and anything bridal fashion related, as traditional or out there as you want. TikTok provides the perfect platform for bridal fashion that can market the $10,000 wedding gown that people would sell their mother-in-law’s soul for and also show the hungry fashionista on a budget the creators making bridal wear that has a kick in it. TikTok is stretching the boundaries of bridal fashion and obviously has no intention of stopping anytime soon.

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By Ella Gibson (she/her)

If we are talking trends and fashionable accessories, look no further than the steaming cup of joe that resides in your hand. Coffee has historically been known as a symbol of intellect and creativity. Fun fact, during the Enlightenment era of the 17th century, coffeehouses (olden day cafes) were the first places in which the public sphere was formed and expressed. Coffeehouses epitomised free speech, new ideas, and the place for discussions without prejudice between regular citizens. Now, coffee represents all of that and more. Girl, the aesthetics of latte art alone may just be the trendiest of trends that have ever graced this planet!

I worked in one of these illustrious coffeehouses for two years. I never mastered the art of coffee making because I was scared about milk frothing and its hot contents potentially striking my eyeballs. But, I did, in fact, master the art of taking coffee orders. You can really get a good gauge on the type of person who would order a trim milk latte served extra hot with cinnamon sprinkled on top in comparison to a stark long black buff. Thereby, below lies my empirical observations of coffee orderers and their most probable fashion choices. Enjoy it with your hot beverage! P.S. you may want to change your preferred beverage once I roast it.

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Cappuccino:

Short Black:

WTSAY (what this says about you): Honey, you know you’re a Karen. Someone who drinks a cappuccino no doubt has to have a minimum of two additional requirements for their coffee.

You like to do this to have a higher probability of optimum complaint capacity. You’re definitely extra af, and your favourite colour is either turquoise or salmon.

WTSAY: You’re all about business. Straight to the point, you’ve got no time to spare. Who on earth would wanna fluff around anyway by putting milk or water into their coffee!? You definitely only eat and drink in general for sustenance; you don’t enjoy the process at all and think it’s a complete waste of time.

If you can ingest pure espresso without a chaser, you’re the most threatening of the bunch, and I’m scared of you. I am also keen to do a tequila shot with you.

WYW (what you wear): Okay, so a university-aged Karen would wear a puffer jacket vest everywhere, even if it’s warm outside, you keep it on. You probably wear those definitive plain black Cotton On Body tights every day to really spice up your own originality. You’re also starting to indulge in hair dying, so when you reach 40, you’ll be ready to cut your hair off for the infamous streaky inverted bob.

Long Black: WTSAY: If long blacks are your preferred caffeinated bev, you have probably just transferred to UC from Welly. You normally brew your own coffee in the morning, but if you’re ordering one at a cafe, you probably have a penguin book in your other hand that you’re going to pretend to enjoy reading to look alternative and quirky. You think that a long black is the only acceptable way of consuming coffee. You are what you drink, right? I suppose you must be bitter asf then.

WYW: You’re not yourself when you don’t have your Doc Martens on. You’re a wholesome wee one, and most of your wardrobe comes from op shops. However, most of the time, you end up mildly resembling a stylish garage bag. The last thing that you think about when it comes to dressing yourself is the size of your clothes. Everything has to be at least four sizes too big for you even to consider putting it on.

Flat White: WTSAY: I’m sorry to say it, but you’re basic. If you’re not forced to drink coffee, your favourite drink would be tap water. You say vibes a little too much where it is getting on the verge of being socially acceptable. You definitely still maintain your streaks on Snapchat. Glassons or Hallensteins is your bible. You most probably have a marble skin laptop cover or phone case too. If you lived in halls at UC, it was most probably Uni Hall.

WYW: For the basic flat white girlies out there, you know what it is: the big oversized sweatshirt with some random vintage pattern or sports team on it that you don’t support, the big ass hairclip twisty number, black flared pants and Nike air forces.

For the basic flat white broskis out there, it’s gotta be that one Rodd & Gunn jersey topped off with some old school vans and an ugly Tommy Hilfiger cap.

WYW: All black everything. Your version of spicing it up would be with plain denim. But other than that, you stick to what you know. And once you go black, have you never thought of going back? You’re dressed to audition for the next season of Suits, or it’s sweats time -- there’s no in-between. Your exotic and adventurous factor is forever going to be at an all-time low.

Mochaccino: WTSAY: You know that you don’t like coffee, but the societal pressure is too hot to handle. You caved in. The mochaccino avenue is the easiest to go down because it’s really just pretentious choccy milk. I’m sorry to say it, but you’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Or should I rather say a foetus inside of a university student’s body? Please just order a hot choccy next time instead of disrespecting coffee like that.

WYW: How many times do you have to be told? Take off your leavers’ jersey! You’re not in high school anymore, Chad! And frankly, no one likes to be reminded in their fourth year of uni that you roam uni at the same time as they do. Cute reminder: that backpack does have the capability not to be as high as Snoop Dogg, and Willy Nelson combined.

Latte: WTSAY: You’re the artsy one. The one who genuinely enjoys going to galleries and museums. You certainly have a record collection but probably not a record player. Your preferred leisure activity is reading poetry. Ew. You are undoubtedly very politically active on social media and have at least three blacklined tattoos on your arm.

WYW: You’ve definitely got a collection of more than five tote bags, all with Van Gogh’s Starry Night printed on it. Your ugly nana sweater collection is at an all-time high. You most likely have your hair dyed and go through colours every two months or so. Also, you’ve definitely got more than six piercings. If you haven’t been to Dangerfield yet, do so and thank me later.

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By Neueli Mauafu (he/him)

It’s thick. It’s long. It’s luscious and damn right filthy! It is the most prized possession any alpha male can possess. BEHOLD, THE MULLET! What is a mullet, you might ask? It is dubbed as the greatest ever frolicking hairstyle known on planet Earth. It reeks so much of pure pride and mana.

Basically, to receive this God-given gift of a haircut, you only need to give the sides a good trim and leave the top and the back hanging around in immaculate form. You don’t need to pay big bucks to see a professional barber either; just grab yourself some clippers, and you’re away.

Now, when ‘handling the clippers’, do make sure you have a steady hand. Just keep the transition of sides to top balanced. If not, don’t be hesitant to go Free Willy on that bad boy. The state of your mullet really depends mostly on how you want it to turn out. Giving the sides a crisp fade gives it a neater and Casanova type of look. Take, for instance, the Crusaders’ very own prodigy Richie Mounga and his well-mannered mullet in curls. His fade overlaps perfectly in his curls, giving his mullet that extra Lionel Richie effect. When donning this particular hairstyle, your go-to drink varies on a lighter preference, maybe a long white or a good old cruiser.

It has also been scientifically proven that his flying mullet gives him extra speed and agility whilst he leaves his opponents scattered across the park. This sort of mullet is preferable for going out to town with the boys looking for some interested young lasses.

If you go for the outback style that mimics a more outdoor hunting vibe, then fancy fades on the side aren’t your go. Let your clippers do the magic by going zero on the sides and leaving the top and back untouched. This form of the mullet contains the aroma of pure manpower and grit with a splash of Billy Mavericks. It is proven that when you rock this form of the mullet, you are eligible to one-outs anyone you see at your local pub while you are dressed in a hi-vis jacket with a pair of gumboots or flip flops. Your preferred choice of beverage will either be a box of Billy Mavs or Lion Red. The energy given through this style of mullet outmatches anyone else who thinks they’re more superior and stronger.

Now, donning a mullet might seem so majestic but keeping it in a well-maintained shape is truly critical. After all, you don’t really want to be walking around with an amazing hairstyle that smells terrible. I’m not telling you to just scrub that mully; there is no sophistication in that. Take your time.

Grab any conditioner you prefer and give it a good rub through the thick goodness. Leave it for three minutes, then rinse it out with water. Always make sure to keep it nice and dry after cleaning. If you don’t own a hairbrush, now is your time to get one.

Make sure you brush it out thoroughly so that no twists and knots are grappling in confusion.

So what are you waiting for? Enough of being the basic person you are. Go on, grab the clippers, and treat yourself to the new you.

Mullet season, always.

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By Liam Stretch (he/him)

They say ‘the hat makes the man’. I don’t necessarily agree with this statement because I have the misfortune of being blessed with a very small head and can’t seem to look remotely good in any hat, apart from my beanie with flaps – God, I love that thing.

So, as a latent desire to be able to wear more headdresses, I’ve compiled a list of those I wish I could pull off and people and characters that have made them famous throughout history.

Harrison Ford, aka Indiana Jones, and his fedora

Pharrell Williams and that Buffalo Hat

This is the definition of a classic fedora. This is a hat that not everyone can pull off, but Indiana makes it an essential and hot part of his look. Throughout the Indiana Jones series – one of the greatest, even Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is masterful – his hat is virtually a character and serves as a comedic device, a romance tool, and even a close confidante. He is incomplete without it, and his journey to becoming the Indiana we know begins with him coming across the hat in the first place.

Now, this would not be an iconic hat list without Pharrell Williams and his humorously large Buffalo hat. For a while, it seemed that the singer of Happy (also known as the most annoying song in existence) would not be seen anywhere without this hat. It is gravity-defying and almost appeared to be as big as the pop star himself. Fun fact, Pharrell was born with the hat on and has slowly been growing into it, much like how your parents buy you a massive school uniform in year nine in the hope that you’ll eventually fill it out. We’re still waiting for Pharrell to reach his full size, which is purportedly 12 feet tall.

Jacqueline ‘Jackie’ Kennedy Onassis and her pillbox A defining fashion force of mid-last century, Jackie Kennedy, the first lady to President John F Kennedy, was well known for hats. Most famously, the pillbox. The pillbox is brimless and cylindrical and is often paired with the clothing it is worn alongside. Jackie was known for pulling these out on every occasion that she could – from her husband’s inauguration and even on the tragic day of his assassination. The reason this hat ranks so highly on my list is due to how iconic it is to one person. If you’re to attribute a pillbox to anyone, it’s definitely Jackie.

The Pope and his mitre They say the Pope has a hat so big because there needs to be room for the rat that controls him to stand (Remy works here during the day and jumps under Linguine’s hat for night shifts.

This is a Ratatouille reference if you’re under a metaphorical rock). The mitre has two shield-shaped stiffened halves that face the front and back, and two fringed streamers, known as lappets, hang from the back. This hat can trace its beginnings back to the 11th century where it was a papal tiara, which was basically a crown. This hat found itself on the list largely due to its enormous size. It can hardly be comfortable and must be heavy on the neck, but I assume Pope Francis is as fit as a butcher’s dog.

The hats I hate.

- Maga Cap. Aside from it being a shit message, it’s also a shit design. Block letters on red, ew.

Missy Elliot and her Fluffy Bucket Hat I know I said that I could only wear a beanie with flaps, but I can also somewhat pull off a bucket hat. Missy was and still is iconic for her hats. Particularly those of the fluffy type. Her fluffy cheese cutter in Work It is as memorable as the song. I’m a huge fan of the fluffy bucket hat. It’s classic and timeless, and beyond versatile. It’s warm and protects one from the sun. I hope Missy is stoked to see these creeping back into 2021 style.

- Snapbacks. Please keep these in 2010. I’m all for trends returning; this is one I never wish to see again. I’m ashamed that I owned one.

- Princess Beatrice’s fascinator. Just no.

- Princess Eugenie’s fascinator. Also no.

- Those wide-brimmed school hats we were forced to wear. No hat, no play.

Dictators are some of the most well-known and best-documented people in history. They can also – perks of being a dictator, I guess – access the highest quality goods they want. In many cases, that also includes clothing. So, without further ado, here’s my reflection on the attire of some of the cruellest men in history.

IDI AMIN ADOLF HITLER Traditionally Hitler wore a single- or double-breasted brown jacket, with either matching brown or black pants. This uniform was accessorised with a peak visor cap, brocade belt, some badges, and a red armband with that symbol on it.

You know that symbol? The one you occasionally see absolute cunts waving around? Oh, that’s it, the swastika.

•

Traditional uniform: 10 points

•

Addition of brocade belt over blazer: 20 points

•

Amin really went with the whole ‘military dictator’ look. He was often seen in a Ugandan military uniform, either in grey or dark green. He paired it with a military-issue peak visor cap or sidecap and as many shiny adornments as he could. From massive badges to gold chains, to epaulettes, Amin took accessorising to the extreme. In his more casual attire, Amin loved a cravat.

•

Excessive bling: 50 points

•

Ability to vary the same similar outfits: 20 points

•

His constant murdering and being a fan of Hitler: -7,219,647 points

Everything else about him: -7,873,968 points

KIM JONG-UN JOSEPH STALIN Stalin was known for one look and one look only. A grey tunic, black pants and soft leather boots. The grey tunic was worn so commonly it was eventually known as the ‘stalinka’. It was partnered with a peak visor cap and a double-breasted overcoat if it was cold.

•

Consistency in outfits: 20 points

•

Overcoat that stupid twinks would now be jealous of: 20 points

•

Sending millions to the gulag: -4,739,121 points

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Kim definitely tries channelling a bit of Mao in his outfits. He is often seen in a pinstripe tunic suit, with a black trench coat in the cold months. Among many of the people Kim has tortured and killed must have been all of North Korea’s tailors. His classic tunic fits badly, isn’t nearly as slimming as he thinks, and his pants are far too long. Out of the public eye, however, Kim reportedly has an extensive collection of fashionable clothes. So, I guess he’s just hiding his steez.

•

Terribly fitting tunic suit: -10 points

•

Black trench coat that would look cool on anyone else: 20 points

•

Killing people just for the sake of killing: -4,637,824 points

MAO ZEDONG

ALEXANDER LUKASHENKO

Much like Stalin, Mao traditionally wore the same outfit, so much so that it became known as the ‘Mao suit’. It was a grey tunic paired with matching pants; the tunic itself strictly featured four pockets and five buttons. Did he bother to accessorise? No! Add any accents? No! BORING!

The dad of all dictators. No, seriously, he just looks like a dad. He is always seen in a basic suit, either black or navy blue, with a tie of a complimentary colour. Paired with his moustache and TERRIBLE combover, he could just be mistaken for that one slightly-too-devout Christian dad at church. He does, however, wear a pretty lapel pin.

•

Plain grey outfit with no details whatsoever: 0 points

•

Commitment to wearing the same boring outfit: 10 Points

•

Executing millions through “ethnic cleansing”: -6,347,248 Points

MUAMMAR AL-GADDAFI Muammar al-Gaddafi was the ruler of Libya for over 40 years, so he had plenty of time to experiment with his fashion. He certainly used that time wisely, and over the years, he was seen in many eccentric outfits. In the early years of his reign, he was often seen in traditional military uniform, but his style evolved into elaborate and colourful shirts, jumpsuits, and robes. Colour-coordinated hats and accessories often accompanied them.

•

Bringing colour to the dictator game: 20 points

•

That time he wore a shirt covered with mugshots of his enemies: 100 points

•

42 years of war crimes: -6,427,186 points

•

Combover: -20 points

•

Occasional lapel pin: 10 points

•

Countless human right violations: -3,782,164 points

RONALD REAGAN Reagan’s eight-year regime saw many instances of style and iconic looks.

Reagan strayed a bit from the usual black and grey suits in favour of beiges and browns, occasionally even a chequered suit. Like many old men, he was a fan of the cardigan, and like many Americans in general, loved a denim and plaid shirt moment.

•

This badass look: 20 points

•

His shirt, tie, and bumpants combo: -10 points

•

Starting the aids crisis, and his terrible economy and tax policies: -6,427,146 points

27

By Ella Gibson (she/her)

Fashion has graced us with the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m not just talking ugly; I mean absolutely repulsive. I’m talking despicable, vile, and utterly putrid. Many trends have given me the literal ‘ick’, and I am here today to articulate and organise these trends with their correlating ‘ick’ level. I will proceed to rank these trends in a subjective order from 1 through to 10 of ickness. Enjoy!

When these were a trend, I don’t think anyone actually cared about looking good. There could genuinely not be a worse placement for jeans. No one wants to see your tramp stamp, Rachel. By sitting on the low waist, you get the full-frontal exposure of the highly esteemed muffin top, not ideal. Your butt has no potential to even slightly resemble Kim Kardashian because it’s shrunken inside itself. Disgusting.

1) Fedoras: In first position, we have the illustrious fedora. Ryan from High School Musical destroyed and epitomised these weapons in fanatical dance numbers like Bop To The Top. The saying “the cherry on top of the cake” can be applied to almost everything else apart from fedoras. Topping off an outfit with a damn fedora is genuinely the most ludicrous decision any individual could ever make. Please seek medical attention if you think wearing a fedora is socially acceptable.

7) Side Fringe: JB, what are you doing? Stealing from the emos out here, what was that for? The side fringe really wasn’t cute, ever. Probably the most aesthetically offensive thing that I have ever seen. Hair is supposed to fall straight down. Why try to disobey nature with that gruesome mane swept across your forehead? It’s not doing you any good anyway, sweetie.

2) Rattails: Coming in second place, we have rattails. *Vomits while thinking about rattails.* I don’t know who on this earth thought that having rattail wouldn’t result in jail time. Someone thought very wrong. Someone thought that somehow cutting all hair off and leaving a little bit hanging was okay. It’s not.

3) Frosted Tips: You are not bringing sexy back with these frosty gremlins. The frosted tips were famously coined by the one and only Justin Timberlake. Why do you want your hair to look like it has been dipped in white chocolate? It isn’t a strawberry! Stop and think when it comes to your decision making because your impulses obviously haven’t done you good before!

4) Socks & Sandals: It had to have been fishing dads that crafted this magnificently foul combo. This will never be okay. It really just gives me either going to the dairy with your friends in your pyjamas to get lollies for a sleepover vibe or dad who has completely given up caring about himself. Please don’t try this at home.

5) Plastic Bracelets: You remember these, right? Those ugly ass two dollar store bracelets that would mountain themselves upon the entire span of your arm. I’m not sure on what planet anyone thought that this was sane and appropriate. You are directly responsible for the ocean’s plastic problem if you engage in this ghastly activity.

6) Low Waisted Jeans:

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8) Crocs: I had to include them. It would indeed be rude not to. Crocodiles are kept in the wild and in enclosures for a reason. The sheer sight of a Croc instantly indicates poor life choices. Don’t be surprised if people suddenly stop talking to you when they look at your tootsies. One thing I will give Crocs a shout out for, though, is their slip-on convenience. How good!

9) Camo: Are you playing hide and seek? Are you a chameleon? Are you hiding in a bush after spotting your ex from a distance and want to evade all contact? If you said no to all of those questions – which I hope you did because what on earth are you reading CANTA for? – then take off the camo right now! I am sorry to inform you, but you will be automatically rid of any sex appeal if you wear camo.

10) Sweaters Around Neck: What I am referring to, of course, is the disastrous atrocity of the privileged frat boys – the sweaters around the neck when it isn’t even cold. You know, the classic Abercrombie and Fitch and Tommy Hilfiger type. There is literally no good reason for a sweater to be sitting on your neck apart from informing your peers that your name is either Chad, Brad, or Dustin. Take it off, or I’ll call your mum!

TI M E CA PSU LE ISSU E 24 SE PT 18, 1989

THE ELIZABETH TAYLOR SANDWICH When one considers fashion icons of recent history, it would be uncommon not to have Elizabeth Taylor listed. Most Millennials and Gen Z’ers will know her for the vine: “Married?!! NOOOOOOO!” But Liz was one of the most famous actresses of Hollywood’s golden age. What you may not know is that she also had an iconic diet. Taylor loved a lot of food, and despite living for everything from chocolate martinis to ham, apparently fried chicken and mashed potato topped the list. In fact, in 1976, Taylor conducted an interview over plates of mashed potato and chicken – if this isn’t commanding an interview, I don’t know what is.

So, in a desperate attempt to stay relevant to the fashion theme of this issue, I present to you the Elizabeth Taylor Sandwich – made with fried chicken and mash.

YOU WILL NEED:

HOW TO:

One bread roll, I used Turkish

Cut open bread roll.

Instant mash potatoes Fried chicken Any sauce you desire Salt and pepper

Make up your instant mash according to the packet instructions.

Please make sure you season it.

Once ready, slop a good layer on the bottom piece of the bread roll and then place on two good-sized pieces of boneless fried chicken. In this recipe, New World deli fried chicken was used.

It wasn’t bad – do recommend.

Then add another layer of ‘mash’ onto the top piece of bread, followed by your choice of sauce and salt and pepper.

Add the top piece of the roll. Try to enjoy it – it has all the right elements, just not elements that should be put together.

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“LIFE IS GR AY AND DULL; YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A LITTLE FUN WHEN YOU DRESS.”

UNHAPPY WITH SOMETHING IN THIS EDITION OF CANTA? SEND COMPLAINTS TO LETTERS@CANTA.CO.NZ

WORD WHEEL Make as many REAL words as you can, using the centre letter.

HAUTE-O-SCOPES YOUR STAR SIGN, REPRESENTED THROUGH HAUTE COUTURE.

ARIES

TAURUS

GEMINI

Cher, Academy Awards, 1986

Bjork, Academy Awards, 2001

Lil Kim, MTV Video Music Awards, 1999

CANCER

LEO

VIRGO

Rihanna, Met Gala, 2017

P!nk, MTV Video Music Awards, 2000

Rita Ora, MTV Europe Music Awards, 2017

LIBRA

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

Paris Hilton, MTV Movie Awards, 2003

Cardi B, Grammy Awards, 2019

Lady Gaga, MTV Video Music Awards, 2010

CAPRICORN

AQUARIUS

Sarah Jessica Parker, Met Gala, 2018

Nicki Minaj, Grammy Awards, 2011

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PISCES

Katy Perry, Met Gala, 2019

35

Isaac munro

GENERAL EXECUTIVE - MĀNGAI WHAKAHAERE Recognise the face? Quite possibly. I’m all over the place, whether it’s in engcore, up the mountain, playing rugby, or tearing up the foundry D floor. I’m running for UCSA general exec as I feel I have an outgoing well-spoken persona which will allow me to work with and persuade UCSA and UC staff to make the changes WE want. In 2019, I met Sophie Svenson and Sophie Katavich in our halls of residence. Since then, we have discovered we share the same ambition to achieve 3 goals of: · · ·

Rethinking mental health support and connecting all communities within UC. Reviving the club atmosphere Redefining our study spaces

The club atmosphere policy resonates with me as I witnessed what club events were like pre-COVID and heard stories from past generations including from my old man who graduated in 1987 about what they once were. If elected, I’ll work closely with the clubs and UCSA staff to bring back the participation and involvement levels to at least pre-covid numbers.

After 3 years of being at UC I have also noticed the lack of study areas and desk spaces around campus. I have plans to address the issue by replacing impractical furniture and introducing more 24-hour study areas.

If you see me around come say hello, always up for a chat.

Vote Svenson, Munro, Katavich!!

Felix

mendoca GENERAL EXECUTIVE - MĀNGAI WHAKAHAERE

candidates page

Bryant

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McIntyre

GENERAL EXECUTIVE - MĀNGAI WHAKAHAERE Kia ora koutou, My name is Bryant McIntyre. I study a Bachelor of Arts majoring in political science and economics. I am from the small town of Whakatane and I am one of the first from my family to attend university. In my spare time, I can be found doing work for Christchurch City Youth Council (CYC), talking on the library’s fourth floor, or enjoying a cold pint of Speights.

I am thrilled to put my name in the ring for the position as a general executive for the UCSA. I have a passion for representing the youth around me. I want to see the UCSA being more involved in advocating for mental health and environmental policy to the local and central government. This will hopefully bring in more support for these areas as they affect us every day!

I also want to see an independent inquiry into the UC mental health service. We all know someone who is affected by mental health, and they should be able to find a solution while the problem is small before it becomes a crisis. An inquiry will allow us to find out what’s wrong and how we should allocate resources to better help students!

If you want a general executive who will get shit done, remember to BE DEFIANT vote BRYANT for 2022 general executive.

Ashley gutteridge GENERAL EXECUTIVE - MĀNGAI WHAKAHAERE The guy in the inflatable dinosaur costume Hey everyone, recently you might’ve seen me around campus/lectures in a T-Rex costume. Why? It was a fun way to campaign last year, and my friends think it would be funny to do again.

In my free time you might find me carving the slopes up at Mt Hutt. I’m in my third year of Chemical and Process Engineering, minoring in Environmental Processes (who would’ve guessed, another UC student doing engineering). So far I have taken up roles in governance, management, mentoring, events and operations. Next year is my fourth and final year at UC, so I’d really love one more opportunity to give back.

Last year I campaigned and was elected onto the UCSA after my classmates told me that I should run because they believed I would do a good job. I have thoroughly enjoyed advocating for student during my time on the Executive this year. This has included areas such as ECHO360 recordings, universal referencing styles, keeping past exams on the library website, and equitability in the Assessment, Discipline and Special Consideration processes. I’ve also been codesigning a new Sustainability Portfolio within the UCSA, which has included updating the Sustainability Policy, contributing to the University Sustainability Board, and workshopping ideas for future projects.

I would love to be able to continue my work in advocating for students and ensuring equitability. I’d also be thrilled to have another year to further develop the Sustainability Portfolio. In particular, I would really like to effect change in a reduction of the single-use plastic packaging and other wastage from the retail outlets around campus. We’ve already seen change with single-use plastic bags, so there’s no reason to stop there! I hope to bring some other ideas forward too once I’ve determined their plausibility.

Cheers!

37

alexis cox

POSTGRADUATE REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI TĀURA

Hi, my name is Alexis and I’m a masters student currently studying plant Biology and Bioinformatics. I also hope to be your postgraduate representative for 2022.

My main motivation for running is that I’m genuinely passionate about the student life and experience and I want to make sure everyone is able to get as much enjoyment out of it as I do. During my undergrad I really appreciated the culture that the UCSA helped create and I would love the chance to ensure that graduate students are well represented and included in it.

As well as a candidate I am also involved with demonstrating and assisting in tutorials - A vote for me will guarantee advocacy for all forms of UC teaching assistants and their pay. So for valued and supported demonstrators and tutors, vote Cox for post grad rep!

willem foster

POSTGRADUATE REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI TĀURA

Kia Ora, My name is Willem Foster. I am currently in my 3rd year studying towards a Bachelor of Science, majoring in Geology. That is correct, I do love rocks. Next year I am planning to continue my study by undertaking the Professional Masters of Engineering Geology course. Outside of university I am an avid adventurer of the outdoors, pretty much going out to cool places and looking at cool rocks and rock formations. Skiing, surfing, tramping and mountain biking are my favourite activities. Golf is down there at the bottom of the list, yet for some reason I’m still out there doing it.

During my fourth and final year of study I would love to finally put myself out there and stand up for a position which I am confident and passionate about. Post-graduate studies can be some of the most stressful yet rewarding stages of a student’s university life. It would be my goal to help any and all postgraduates in receiving the necessary help they need and providing them with a voice throughout the year. To be the one to get them out from between a rock and a hard place, if you will.

Overall, I believe that postgraduate students have been well-represented and respected over the past few years. It is important that that same support continues next year and thereafter. I do believe that my interpersonal skills and friendly, out-going attitude make me the perfect candidate for this position.

Ngā mihi, Willem Foster

Sophie katavich

EQUITY AND WELLBEING REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI ORANGA Kia ora guys, I’m Sophie Katavich and I am running for the Equity and Wellbeing position. Running alongside Sophie Svenson and Isaac Munro, we form a dynamic trio with some ideas you ought to consider.

I am extremely passionate about this role and all it brings given its ability to help student welfare, nearly as passionate as I am about Love Island! I have sunk 250 hours + into that dumb show and if I’m willing to put that much into something like that, imagine what I’ll put into something that actually matters. Anyways, I am currently a 3rd year student studying towards a Bachelor of Commerce and am campaigning on 3 policies.

Firstly, we want to reinvent study spaces; not only will we try push for more pods like on Level 10. But we want to create more after-hours spaces for students.

Secondly, we seek to revive the club atmosphere as participation has decreased in recent years. We believe by educating first year students about clubs as well as promoting collaboration we can reverse this.

Most importantly, we want to provide more support for those struggling with mental health by providing resources when waiting for appointments. As well as working further on the conditions regarding special consideration and mental health. Furthermore, we want to promote a cross-appreciation of culture between marginalised and nonmarginalised groups with an aim at generating a more equitable atmosphere at the university.

cleo

vernon

POSTGRADUATE REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI TĀURA Kia ora koutou! It’s Cleo Vernon here, and I am running to be your UCSA Māngai Tāura | Postgraduate Representative of 2022!

I am currently studying towards a Masters of Commerce in Management. I began my studies back in 2017 after moving down south from the local beach town Raglan, in the humble Waikato. My undergrad study involved a mix of economics, management and political science. It was an interesting cocktail that sparked my passion for meaningful representation, effective advocacy and student engagement. My Master's research focuses on delving into the world of leadership post-Covid-19 and the trials and tribulations it's caused through all walks of life. It’s allowed me to expand my knowledge and perspective of what kind of leadership we need during these unprecedented times.

During my time at UC, I have always strived to get the best university experience possible. I have been involved with various clubs and societies on campus, never missed a mono during undergrad, and spent many all-nighters in eng core.

I have also had the honour of spending a year on the 2020 UCSA Exec. The experience gave me a passion for advocating for the equity of all students across campus. It allowed me to learn the ins and outs of what makes the UCSA tick so that when I’m elected, I can hit the ground running, enabling meaningful change.

All too often, our postgrad students are overlooked. We are left on our own to navigate the scary world of thesis writing and taught masters programmes. Through this role, I will ensure that we have a clear, effective line of communication to the UCSA. I will ensure that you feel heard and represented.

That’s why this year I’m focusing on meaningful representation, effective advocacy and student engagement with my running mates, Pierce Crowley & Reuben Mihaere!

VOTE CROWLEY MIHAERE VERNON for UCSA 2022

tori

holden EQUITY AND WELLBEING REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI ORANGA Kia ora e hoa mā!

I am currently in my final year of a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Human Services, and I am looking to continue onto postgraduate study.

Why am I running for UCSA Exec?

For many people, (myself included) the experience of studying is often paired with many challenges, which may be associated with student life, such as moving away from home, being responsible for yourself, or the pressure to perform.

Other challenges may be more life-orientated such as grief, managing finances and relationships. I would like to see a normalisation of these challenges, resulting in more manageable and supported outcomes. My interest in the role comes from a place of genuine compassion.

What issues do I aim to work on if elected?

I understand that campaign tactics often involve the promotion of policies that will result in the most votes. However, I am a realistic person and acknowledge that policy change is highly contextual, and I choose not to make promises I am not 100% sure I can achieve. I would rather highlight the broader topics I will focus on if elected. I am interested in the social opportunities available to mature students, the access to alternative and cultural medical practices, and the experience of traumatic events while studying and the support provided.

What things do I like doing outside of study?

I love doing activities that take my mind away from study and aid relaxation, such as yoga and float tanks. My flat mates and I like to do cooking challenges, prank rivalries, and jam out to music. I keep active by playing frisbee and I am the publicity officer for the UCUC Exec. I love working with people and have been a gymnastics coach, Pals leader and Psychology lab tutor.

Xavier Moir

EQUITY AND WELLBEING REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI ORANGA Kia ora! My name is Xavier (he/him) and I'm looking for your vote for Equity and Wellbeing Representative as well as General Executive.

I’m passionate about helping people and ensuring the systems we have in place work best for everyone. Equity and wellbeing are both essential for this and are very close to my heart. All students deserve to be seen, heard, and listened to.

Equity to me means understanding intersectionality. Attention must be brought to the diversity of our student body, celebrating our different experiences and identities while acknowledging the challenges that we may face. Working with this in mind while also focusing on wellbeing means a focus on engaging with people in a meaningful way that allows us to feel healthy, fulfilled, and with purpose.

A bit about me: I'm in my third year of my BA majoring in Political Science with minors in History, Psychology, and Sociology. Ōtautahi is my home, and it’s been a blessing to be able to stay here studying at UC where I’ve had an amazing time so far with wonderful lifelong friends.

I'm also in my second year of being a student leader for UniLife (shout out to Team Aroha!), which has been an amazing opportunity that's led me to learn so much about being a leader, looking out for others, and working with heaps of incredible people from across campus.

Outside of studies I enjoy catching up with my friends, getting involved with a few clubs, and watching some of my favourite movies and shows at home. I've become somewhat known for my mild obsession with Taylor Swift and the High School Musical movies.

If you see me around campus, feel free to say hey and have a chat! www.facebook.com/XavierMoirForEquityAndWellbeing/

kartikey kartikey

INTERNATIONAL REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI TĀWĀHI Kia Ora, My name is Kartikey. I am an international student studying Political Science, International Relations and Media and Communication. As an international student, I have personally experienced isolation, cultural difference and financial problem. When I first arrived in New Zealand, I found it difficult to make friends due to differences in living and the different academic patterns. Not only me but many of my friends also faced similar problems, not to mention some didn’t have much help with the transition to a different study pattern, due to which they missed lectures and felt isolated and started getting depressed. As an international student, I can relate to problems we all face being unable to express our issues due to feeling shy or uncomfortable communicating the problems.

As a candidate for International representative, I will try to address the problems we all face in this new environment.

First, I want to try and create a system that will encourage the students to engage more at the University. Providing better mentoring sessions for International students and the students studying overseas, I will ensure a smooth and easy transition for the students to the new university life. Also, not to forget about the other issues like financial aid, getting equal opportunities and forming connections.

As a candidate for International representative, I am committed to helping International students in every possible way.

I will ensure that the past experiences that have limited my opportunities and have ceased my ability to perform my best will not prevent the students from giving their best.

As a student of political science and international relations, I Believe in Being the Change to Bring the Change.

mastine dube

INTERNATIONAL REPRESENTATIVE - MĀNGAI TĀWĀHI Kia Ora Koutou!

My name is Mastine Dube, and I am running for UCSA International Rep for 2022. I am in my fourth year studying towards a Bachelor of Law and Commerce.

Moving to Aotearoa to study at UC has been one of the most phenomenal and fascinating experiences of my life. It has presented me with so many opportunities for self-growth, pushed me out of my comfort zone, expanded my social circle and cultural knowledge. Nevertheless, moving to a new country by myself with no family has not always been smooth sailing. I have gone through what most international students can relate to: expat depression, visa complications, cultural shock to mention but a few.

I have been immensely involved with UC’s International community. I started an international club a few years ago, the UC African Student Association which has been one of the most rewarding initiatives I have taken so far. I am currently mentoring a couple of international students through UC mentoring and have taken up a few advisory roles to advocate for International Students. All these initiatives have helped me gain a lot of insight on various issues affecting International Students and have motivated me to run for this role.

Furthermore, for the past few years, domestic students have been representing the interest of international students at UC. Although the past candidates have done a great job, it is hard to fully represent the interests of International Students without ever being in their shoes. When I graduate from UC, it is less important that people know my name and more important that they reap the benefits of what I did and contributed to. I believe that my experience will help me succeed in the international rep role and make a difference for International students and the wider UC community.

VOTE DUBE & HERRMANN 2022

reuben mihaere

FINANCE & ENGAGEMENT OFFICER - ĀPIHA PŪTE Kia Ora, Koutou Ko Reuben Tōku Ikoa Ko Aoraki Te Mauka Ko Waitaki Te Awa My name’s Reuben Mihaere, I am running to be your UCSA Āpiha Pūtea / Finance and Engagement officer of 2022. I study a bachelor’s degree in commerce, majoring in finance with a minor in economics, I am a certified Scuba diving instructor and a lover the outdoors.

It is Beneficial for the students that the UCSA acts as an active voice to lobby for and support the wellbeing of students. In the role of the Finance and Engagement officer, I wish to Provide the student body transparency and advocacy, for student’s wants and needs to be used for change and the continued support towards student life at UC. Myself and my running mate Pierce Crowley for President strive to obtain your vote as we wish to implement initiative that will benefit you and increase the representation, advocacy and engagement of the students at UC. Meaningful Representation: All students at the University of Canterbury have a right to be represented and the UCSA is an extension, in my role I would work a bridge between the university and the students increase the engagement of the student through social media platforms and forums, to strength the student voice through the continued use of the suggestion box.

Effective Advocacy: The UCSA is the best tool students have available to advocate for them. The core part of our student advocacy policy is to increase the students understanding of what is available to them and to make it more accessible when sort after.

Simplifying and fleshing out the advocacy process would be our starting point and lobbying for mental health and wellbeing to be taken more seriously in departments internal process when dealing with special considerations and extensions.

Student Engagement: We recognize that UC has a diverse culture of extra-curricular engagements, from clubs to foundry hosted events. We want to push policies that increase student engagement and increase the quality of student life.

Initiatives we would run are: Expanding the stock in the UCSA charger library, Working to implement student daily deals in the Foundry during the week, Renew the appliances in the post-Graduate study space.

A Refresh of UCSA run events.

Issue accounts for Qpay to students to increase club engagement If any of the above sounds like stuff you could get behind, check out our Facebook event at “VOTE CROWLEY MIHAERE for UCSA 2022” Voting opens at 9am on the 18th of August and closes at 5pm on the 20th of August. We hope we can count on your vote!

Sophie svenson

FINANCE & ENGAGEMENT OFFICER - ĀPIHA PŪTE Hi everyone!!! My name is Sophie Svenson, and I am a third year, studying a Bachelor of Commerce and a Bachelor of Laws. I am running for the Finance and Engagement position, alongside my teammates, Sophie Katavich and Isaac Munro.

My experience at UC is revolved around a range of groups, events, clubs, and halls. Through my involvement in these, I have found many things that I love about UC and the UCSA. But I have also found many things that I believe need to be given more attention or reinvented. So, I thought I should put my money where my mouth is and run for the UCSA! If elected Sophie, Isaac, and I want to: REVIVE our club atmosphere: by promoting better collaboration and communication between clubs themselves as well as the UCSA. REDEFINE our study spaces: we want more booths like those on floor 10 of the library and more practical seating in the likes of EngCore that can be utilised for study. We also think ALL students should be able to have after-hours access for those late-night grinds and a UCSA café open on the weekends during exams.

RETHINK mental health support and build better relationships with all communities within UC: We want special consideration for mental health to be available to all students, and for this to not vary between faculties. We also want to promote and provide alternative forms of mental health support as an immediate source of support for students, such as interactive self-care plans. Lastly, we want to be allies for marginalised groups and want to not only educate students but practice cultural awareness by bringing communities together and helping others understand their privilege.

We have thought a lot about these policies, and they are something we are all extremely passionate about.

So, if elected, we will collaborate and engage with a range of communities within UC and the UCSA exec to deliver on our promises.

A question I always struggle with is “what do you like doing when you are not studying”. I always write all the things I like doing down and realise I sound SO boring.

Prime example, I like traveling, learning about different cultures, walking and going out, and having a good time on the weekends. I also have an unhealthy obsession with to-do lists and applying for and taking part in extracurriculars.

I love engaging with and learning from a range of different people in our community. If elected I will definitely argue our case and provide representation for a range of student voices.

If you want to find out more about our policies, hit ‘going’ on our Facebook page.

Vote Svenson, Munro, Katavich!!

Asher

herrmann VICE-PRESIDENT - TUMUAKI TUARUA

Kia ora koutou! My name is Asher Herrmann and I am running for Vice President of the UCSA for 2022. I am a fourth year LLB/BA student and I am also a dual citizen (USA/NZ)!

This year I am the College of Arts Rep on the UCSA. This has been an amazing year and I have learned so much about the UCSA. I have learnt what is achievable, and what needs improvement, from the inside.

This background is an integral part of why I am running for Vice-President.

The primary role of the Vice-President is to represent student voice academically. The College Reps work closely with the Vice-President in the academic space, and I feel that my understanding of the role, alongside the work I have done this year, has prepared me for this step up. For example, this year I have worked on a comprehensive memorandum aiming to improve the degree planning here at UC. I would love to continue these efforts and others like it next year.

Externally, I will work to improve equity issues within UC from an academic perspective. As we all know, university can be extremely stressful. Uni life is more than assignments and lectures, but the way UC is structured academically has major impacts on us as students. Even more so for under-represented communities such as Māori, Pasifika, the LGBT+ community, international students, disabled students, and religious minorities. I will create and strengthen relationships with these communities (and more!) to ensure that the policies and decisions of UC are truly reflective of our diverse student body.

Internally, I will improve communications between the six college reps and the Vice-President. The UCSA is awesome at getting a broad cross section of information from across UC, but often this information is not communicated as well, or as often, as it could be. As degrees and courses become increasingly interdisciplinary, the UCSA must also develop a strong communication network to mirror this.

Obviously, I am running without a President! Life happens that way sometimes, but I didn’t want it to stop me from running for something that I really care about. I have no doubt that I will be able to work with the President and having a diverse ‘top three’ will only improve our ability to represent the diverse UC student body.

I am incredibly passionate about the work of the UCSA, and I would be honoured to receive your vote for Vice-President! If you have any questions about my policies, or myself in general, please do not hesitate to reach out on our Facebook page or if you see me around campus!

Ngā manaakitanga VOTE DUBE & HERRMANN 2022

Kia Ora UC Whānau, My name is Mario Williams and I’m going to be your next UCSA President. I have some really strong ideas about making the university experience better for everyone.

Let me begin with a bit about who I am. Yes, my name is like the video game character, no I don’t have a brother called Luigi or a girlfriend called Princess Peach (though not for the lack of trying), and although I’ve been well over the novelty factor of my name for some time, I’ve decided to run with it which is why you may see me around the next couple of weeks in my Super Mario costume. Feel free to come up to me, just to say ‘hey, it’s-a you, Mario!’, ask me where Luigi is or have a chat about my policies. I am by no means the “meme candidate”, as I’m sure my policies will illustrate.

I’m a third-year criminal justice student, with recent exam results seeing me soon to be a fourth-year criminal justice student, and when I’m not studying, I’m working part time as a check-out chick at Pak’n Save. On the weekends, I also enjoy a quite one or a rowdy ten with my mates, playing Xbox and watching films The main reason why I decided to run for UCSA President, is that I try to live life to the fullest and take every opportunity that presents itself to me. I gained this mindset after a series of setbacks that I’m still facing repercussions from today. The most notable, (and I feel the need to mention this because it may become apparent), is that one morning about six years ago, I woke up and I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t open my eyes without using my hands to physically do it. I have since built myself back up to where I am today, however it has left me with a slight stutter. Yes, I know….you heard me the first time.

My policies: My main goal if I get elected is to improve the University experience for everyone. I plan on doing this by addressing three things: parking, food and echo360.

I think we can all agree that the parking situation at UC is definitely not the best. With not everyone being able to afford to pay for parking and then the students that do pay for it not always able to find a park. So therefore, the first policy I have is to make parking free for all students at the University. The burning question I have at the moment is what does the parking money actually fund? 30 years ago when our parents were at University, you didn’t have to pay for parking and no one got clamped. So, what has changed in the last generation that made paying for parking unaffordable for many? The university still owns the ground; so, I’d like to say that nothing has changed. So that’s why if I’m elected I’d like to make it a first in, first served basis. I believe this will create a fairer environment, where no one feels scammed and everyone has a chance at getting a park.

The second way I would improve the University experience is through food. More food trucks, more free food events, cheaper prices on food at the UCSA cafes/ takeaway shops. Let’s have a free rolling breakfast where you can cruise into University, park in your free car park, grab some toast, a crappy instant coffee or milo and hit those lectures with not just food, but free food.

Echo360 is a great tool for students. I would push the University council to make it policy that it be used in all lectures, make sure the technology is up to date and of quality standard.

Another goal, moving forward will be to promote the voice of the UCSA in the political arena, advocating for and applying pressure on the government around student rights and well-being “what have the bloody romans ever done for us!” I would love to continue the great work that Kim Fowler and the other current UCSA executive have done regarding transparency.

Remember Vote for Mario Williams

Mario williams PRESIDENT - TUMUAKI

Kia ora koutou! My name is Pierce Crowley, and I am running to be your 2022 UCSA president. I’m passionate about ensuring that all students are able to partake and thrive in the university community. As president, and through other club roles, I have experience in leadership roles – and I am excited to bring a fresh perspective to the UCSA in 2022.

A bit about myself: Born in Ireland, but Christchurch based since 2006, I started my journey at UC way back in 2016, and I’m currently in the final year of a law degree and a BA in history and polsci! In my studies I am passionate about employment law and human rights law (trust me, it is more interesting than it sounds). I’m an amateur plant-dad, house-party kinda guy, and can’t stay away from the beach in the summertime!

Why I am Running for President: It is essential that the UCSA is acting as an active voice to lobby for and support the well-being of students.

Many groups have felt the UCSA hasn’t been working for them. I am running for president as I want to help implement policies that will address many of these issues and contribute positively to the UC community as a whole.

As UC students, we all share in the good and the bad about uni life. Myself and my running mate, Reuben Mihaere for Finance and Engagement, are striving to get your vote so we can work to implement initiatives that will increase engagement, representation, and student wellbeing at UC. Our key policies can be summed up under 3 subheadings: Meaningful Representation Every student deserves the right to meaningful representation from the University of Canterbury. This extends to the functions of the UCSA. I would work with the University, the Executive, and the Te Akatoki executive in continuing to pursue the re-establishing of a functional partnership relationship between the two student associations. Included within this would be the establishment of a payment scheme for the Te Akatoki exec. Further, I would push the UCSA to ensure they are meeting their obligations under Te Tiriti o Waitangi and incorporate the voices of Tangata Whenua into decision making.

UC is privileged to have a diverse student community, and as President I would embrace this. I would work with the entire exec to pursue initiatives that reflect this – such as running events in collaboration with International Student clubs and starting a UC Pride Week.

Effective Advocacy The UCSA is the best advocacy tool students have available to them. A core aspect of our advocacy policy would be to flesh out the existing tools and make it easier for students to understand what is available to them. This is a policy of particular importance to myself, as early in my studies I struggled with the adjustment to university – and while the advocacy tools were there, I found the process confusing and overwhelming, and this was detrimental to my academic performance, and my general mental wellbeing.

Simplifying the advocacy processes are a starting point in working to ensure the mental wellbeing of students. Another approach I would take is to actively lobby departments to take mental health and wellbeing more seriously in their internal processes when dealing with extensions and special considerations.

I would also push the University to maintain it’s policy of mandating ECHO360 recordings in all classes – in particular as the COVID-19 pandemic remains a source of potential disruption.

Student Engagement Our student engagement policy recognises that UC has an amazing culture of extra-curricular engagement – whether it be through clubs of all stripes and sizes, or just on a Thursday night at MONO. We want to push policies that increase engagement and the quality of life from students.

A key is to establish QPAY accounts for all students before the academic year begins. QPAY is a great tool for managing club affairs – but the confusing nature of the app has turned off those who otherwise would have joined clubs. Removing this barrier would increase ease of use and increase engagement.

Other initiatives we would pursue in this area include: Expanding the stock in the UCSA charger library, Working to implement student daily deals in the Foundry during the week, Renew the appliances in the post-Graduate study space.

A Refresh of UCSA run events.

If any of the above sounds like stuff you could get behind, check out our Facebook event at “VOTE CROWLEY MIHAERE for UCSA 2022” Voting opens at 9am on the 18th of August and closes at 5pm on the 20th of August.

Pierce

Crowley PRESIDENT - TUMUAKI

2021

candidates