052313

Page 1

VOLUME 46, ISSUE 56

THURSDAY, MAY 23, 2013

RUNNING OUT OF MONEY?

WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG

WALKING WITHOUT FRIENDS

Here's your fix

how graduation can improve

lifestyle , Page 8

opinion, Page 4

CREW TO NATIONALS

varsity 8 qualify for ncaas section, Page 12

CAMPUS

Espresso Roma Cafe May Be Replaced Starbucks is reportedly in the running to replace the Price Center staple, which has financial troubles. BY bill presant

contributing writer

said that the trolley would connect UCSD to several key locations in San Diego. “The Mid-Coast Trolley extension will be a significant step forward for transit access in San Diego,” Roberts said. “Extending the Trolley service from Old Town, up along Interstate-5 to the UTC area, will connect dozens of communities, jobs centers and regional assets like the VA hospital and UC San Diego.”

The University Centers Advisory Board is actively considering replacements for Price Center’s Espresso Roma Cafe, following difficulties with economic viability. Possible replacements include Starbucks Corporation, although no official negotiations have begun. “I cannot stress enough that as of right now we aren’t bringing Starbucks on,” former UCAB chair Albert Trujillo said, who completed his time as chair earlier this week. UCAB is not the only board considering changes to campus coffee locations — Geisel Library’s Dolores Davies notes that a proposed library coffee vendor is “more than a rumor,” though specifics are still unavailable. While Starbucks has expressed interest for several years in opening a location on campus, UCAB only recently invited company representatives in to give a presentation at the beginning of May. Presenters discussed Starbucks’ fair trade and sustainability packages, an aspect important to UCSD’s commitment to fair trade and green practices. Voting on student space allocation falls to UCAB, though there is no set date or deadline for a vote, and UCSD’s Fair Trade Advisory Committee could impose stricter campuswide policies, potentially barring Starbucks and other companies from the university. Manager Aaron Lunetta of Espresso Roma points out that the cafe is currently fair trade based, unlike Starbucks, and that students have consistently supported fair trade practices. Lunetta hears rumors about Starbucks around this time every year. “Now our lease is monthly,” Lunetta said. “But before it was yearly, and it was [renewed] every June.” Past changes to Espresso Roma’s lease have been a part of the struggle to make the space economically viable. “We gave them [Roma] some room for improvement,” Trujillo said. “And it wasn’t reflected the following year. That’s why we went with the month-to-month lease.” UCAB is set on keeping the space as a coffee shop or cafe of some kind, seeking a replacement whose increased profits will maximize UCAB’s revenue. Lunetta says that neither he nor

See TROLLEY, page 3

See CAFE, page 3

PHOTO BY BRIAN MONROE /GUARDIAN

UC SYSTEM

UC Health Workers Stage Two-Day Walk Out Despite legal injunctions, workers at all five UC medical centers rallied for higher wages and pensions. BY aleksandra konstantinovic

associate news editor Thousands of patient care workers at University of California hospitals represented by the American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees 3299 went on strike on May 21 and 22, despite a legal injunction limiting their numbers. AFSCME vocational nurses, technicians and service workers staged rallies at all five UC medical centers, protesting low wages and unlivable pensions. The strike is the result of failed negotiations between the union and UC hospitals over employment contracts that expired in September. AFSCME 3299 communications director Todd Stenhouse said that he maintains that the union wants to secure the best possible care for patients by encouraging the medical system to hire career

workers and pay fair wages. Members of the union wish to see increased wages and better benefits. “As a patient caregiver, we want to be taken care of,” UCSD Thornton Hospital emergency room technician Chris Mejia said. “It seems like it takes the union to intervene, to announce these strikes, to put pressure on the UC system to help us along financially [and] advance in our careers. It seems like if we don’t do this, we allow them to continue to walk all over us.” Another union, University Professional and Technical Employees Communications Workers of America Local 9119, joined ASFCME workers in a sympathy strike on Tuesday. UPTECWA 9119 represents healthcare professionals, researchers and technical employees on university See STRIKE, page 3

PHOTO BY BRIAN MONROE /GUARDIAN

RAINY DAY FOR SUNSHINE Price Center’s Sunshine Market unexpectedly closed on May 19, following a flood within the store. The market has opened a small section in front of the gated market to sell select items until repairs are completed.

TRANSPORTATION

MTS Trolley Will Begin Service to UCSD by 2018 Construction for extension of the San Diego Trolley System — including eight new stations — will begin in 2015. BY davis liang

staff writer The Metropolitan Transit System’s trolley services will reach UCSD by 2018 according to a report released last week by the San Diego Associations of Governments. SANDAG released a draft environmental report on the Mid-Coast Corridor Transit Project on Friday, May 17, which introduced the first extension of the San Diego Trolley

system since the completion of the Green Line to San Diego State University in 2005. Major incentives for the project include catering to the growing population density in the Mid-Coast Corridor and taking advantage of the growth of the University City area as a major employment and highdensity residential area. The project by SANDAG will extend the San Diego trolley into UCSD with construction beginning in 2015 and services starting in 2018.

In total, eight new stations will be created, including stops on Tecolote Road, Clairemont Drive, Balboa Avenue, Nobel Drive, Pepper Canyon, Voigt Drive, Executive Drive and the Westfield UTC Transit Center. The new trolley route will also connect to lines in Mission Valley, East County and South County and will connect the international border with University City. According to SANDAG, chair of the Mid-Coast Corridor Transit Project Working Group Ron Roberts


2

NEWS

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

FLEETING THOUGHTS By Irene Chiang Laira Martin

Editor in Chief

Zev Hurwitz

Managing Editor

Mekala Neelakantan Aleksandra Konstantinovic Hilary Lee

Associate News Editor Opinion Editor

Lauren Koa

Associate Opinion Editor

Rachel Uda

Sports Editor

Stacey Chien

Features Editor

Jean Lee Vincent Pham

Associate Lifestyle Editors

Jacey Aldredge

RAINY FRIDAYS By Eunice Ho

News Editor

A&E Editor

Dieter Jourbet

Associate A&E Editor

Brian Monroe

Photo Editor

Taylor Sanderson Sara Shroyer Zoë McCracken Jeffrey Lau Janella Payumo Allie Kiekhofer Claire Yee Arielle Sallai

Associate Photo Editor Design Editor Associate Design Editor Art Editor Associate Art Editor Copy Editor Associate Copy Editor Web Editor

Training and Development Manager Madeline Mann Editorial Assistants Mozelle Armijo, Rachel Huang, Jacqueline Kim, Shelby Newallis, Kelvin Noronha Page Layout Amber Shroyer, Dorothy Van

SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

Mathematicians Awarded for Cell Phone Data Analysis BY helen hejran staff

writer

UCSD mathematics professor David Meyer and his group of five researchers including Orest Bucicovschi, Rex Douglass, Megha Ram, David Rideout and Dongjin Song won the Best Scientific Project prize early this month in the France Telecom Orange’s Data for Development Challenge following research in the role of mathematics in understanding politics, ethnicity and religion. The award was announced at the NetMob Conference in Massachusetts Institute of Technology on May 1. “I’ve been thinking about mathematical aspects of political conflict for a couple of years,” Meyer said in a UCSD News Center release. “Civil war results from this. Understanding how civil wars spread relies on understanding social divisions.” The research was conducted in conjunction with the UC Institute on Global Conflict and Cooperation. Meyer’s team used one of four data

sets provided by France Telecom Orange to mathematically measure interactions through a volume of cell phone calls, determining if clustering a telecommunications network could inform them about language or ethnic groups in countries. “France Telecom Orange’s subsidiary in Cote d’Ivoire provided four separate mobile telecommunications datasets based upon 2.5 billion calls and short message service exchanges between customers over the 150 day period of Dec. 1, 2011 to April 28, 2012 — which is an example of ‘big data,’” Meyer said. “They also provided the geolocations of 1238 cell antennae within the country. We analyzed one of the datasets, which provided the call volume between each pair of antennae for each hour in the time period.” In the first stage of research, Meyer and his team theorized that the number of the calls formed geographical antennae partitions, or communities. They discovered that

to.ucsd.edu Outfitting Tritons since 2009

the two partitions have a strong association even after accounting those between two locations would be proportional to the product of the total calls made at each location, divided by some power of the distance between them. According to Meyer, this finding indicates that there is a close correlation between the number of calls and proximity of call locations — thus, there will be more calls when the two locations are closer together. In the second stage, the research team grouped together antennae that had more calls between them and compared the grouped data to antennae in different groups. These groups were seen to be geographically connected as well. “When we compared the resulting partition of Cote d’Ivoire into regions, we found that it appeared to align closely with a partition of the country by local majority language,” Meyer said. Meyer and his team hopes to use the gathered telecommunications

data to better understand language communities and estimate mathematical associations between geographical divisions.

readers can contact helen hejran

hhejran@ucsd.edu

CORRECTION In the May 19 issue of the Guardian, an article about Sun God Festival 2013 incorrectly stated that the full capacity of RIMAC field is 23,000 instead of 20,000. Additionally, dance teams Poreotics and Choreo Cookies were incorrectly named as UCSD dance teams, instead of professional teams, and incorrectly stated that Kendrick Lamar headlined Dance Stage instead of Sun God stage. The Guardian corrects all errors brought to the attention of the editors. Corrections can be sent to editor@ucsdguardian.org.

Copy Readers Kim Brinckerhoff, Kate Galloway, Rachel Huang, Jacqueline Kim Business Manager Emily Ku Advertising Director Noelle Batema Marketing Nicholas Paladino Advertising Assistants Vivek Medepalli, Audrey Sechrest, Darren Shim Advertising Design Alfredo H. Vilano Jr. A.S. Graphic Studio The UCSD Guardian is published Mondays and Thursdays during the academic year by UCSD students and for the UCSD community. Reproduction of this newspaper in any form, whether in whole or in part, without permission is strictly prohibited. © 2013, all rights reserved. The UCSD Guardian is not responsible for the return of unsolicited manuscripts or art. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent the opinions of the UCSD Guardian, the University of California or Associated Students. The UCSD Guardian is funded by advertising. KANYE’S SELF-DEFECATION

General Editorial: 858-534-6580 editor@ucsdguardian.org

News: news@ucsdguardian.org Managing; managing@ucsdguardian.org Opinion: opinion@ucsdguardian.org Sports: sports@ucsdguardian.org Features: features@ucsdguardian.org Lifestyle: lifestyle@ucsdguardian.org A&E: entertainment@ucsdguardian.org Photo: photo@ucsdguardian.org Design: design@ucsdguardian.org Art: art@ucsdguardian.org

Advertising: 858-534-3467 ads@ucsdguardian.org


NEWS

3

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

Council Approves New AVP’s and Discusses Fair Trade At last night’s meeting, council Coffee Farmer’s Cooperative Union debuted some snazzy polos that were has tripled. a slightly lighter shade of blue than The collective also acknowledged the ones last year’s council wore. that fair trade isn’t perfect and that Already, I can see that our new stuit’s often an external solution to a dent leaders are mavericks. developing country’s internal probCouncil proceeded to approve lems. Sadly, fair trade doesn’t necesseveral new AVPs, who ceremonisarily mean sweatshop-free. ously ascended to their places at the However, SSC argued that the council table. Much applause and overall impact of a fair trade policy congratulations is highly beneficial. to them. For my “There are sake, and for tangible changes aleksandra konstantinovic Speaker John that can be made AKONSTA@ucsd.edu Weng’s, keep as a result of fair those name tags trade,” they argued. up, please. “The fact that UCSD is aligned with Former Campuswide Senator these standards shows we’re trying to Jackie Clavin’s special presentation adopt the full scope of fair trade.” proceeded, thanks to the technical Unfortunately, SSC argues that wizardry of Campuswide Senator UCSD’s fair trade policy is in danger Fifi Akel. Clavin presented on behalf due to new policies that will give of the Diversity and Social Justice commercial vendors on campus the Leadership Program, which aims ability to define fair trade on their to give students an opportunity to own terms. engage in social justice and equityCouncil’s factor of the week this mindedness at UCSD. week was the entire office of AVP She ultimately Concerts and Events hopes that the new for a superb job putThere are tangible council will conting on a kick-butt Sun changes that can tinue the leadership God. be made as a result program as a way to In Open Forum, promote an increasA.S. President Andy of fair trade. ingly inclusive Buselt mentioned a campus. grievance that former — Student Sustainability The Student AVP College Affairs Collective Sustainability Leonard Bobbitt filed Collective continued special presenagainst council. For several years, tations with a defense of UCSD’s fair council has bypassed a mandate in trade policy, which remains one of its constitution that requires it to the strongest in the nation. All cofgive money to the college councils. fee, tea and sugar sold on campus, Buselt said that he would work for example, must be fair tradewith college councils to determine certified. a solution that won’t bankrupt A.S. The SSC defined fair trade as Council. the sum of sustainable practices that Also, I know I’m not technically on include paying third world producers council, but given the many hours I’ve a fair wage. As a result of a worldwide spent in the Forum, do I qualify for push for fair trade, income for the one of those polos yet? Pretty please?

Medical Systems Continued to Remain Operational During Strike ▶ STRIKE, from page 1

campuses. UC officials estimate that the twoday strike will cost the university $20 million across all five medical centers. Officials held a news conference at the UC Office of the President, where senior vice President for Health Sciences and Services Dr. John Stobo discussed the complete impact of the strike. The medical system expects to remain operational, with elective surgeries postponed and emergency patients diverted to non-UC facilities. Stobo also released a statement condemning the strike earlier in the week. “Shame on them for jeopardizing health services that people need and

deserve. It is completely inappropriate to threaten services to patients as a negotiating tactic — the health of our patients must not be held hostage,” he said. “If union members are as concerned with patient safety as they claim, why strike?” Last week, AFSCME released a report of a plan to meet patients’ immediate needs during the strike. The plan included voluntary strike exemptions for respiratory therapy workers as well as a Patient Protection Task Force that will cross picket lines in the event of a patient emergency. The Public Employment Relations Board filed a formal complaint against the union, arguing that allowing too many essential employees strike constitutes an unfair labor

practice. The union argued that its plan satisfied the concessions that PERB recommended. Sacramento County Superior Court Judge David Brown granted an injunction on Monday that limits the number of AFSCME members that were allowed to strike. UCOP Vice President of Systemwide Human Resources Dwaine Duckett stated that the injunction was appreciated but more limited than the university hoped to see. The strike is not scheduled to continue into Thursday, with striking employees expected to return to work then.

readers can contact aleksandra konstantinovic alkonsta@ucsd.edu

UCAB Considering Starbucks As a Replacement for Roma Cafe ▶ CAFE, from page 1

Espresso Roma’s corporate offices have been informed of definite changes. He plans on remodeling Espresso Roma in the near future, with the cafe remaining in its current location. However, it is UCAB who ultimately manages the space. Any remodeling must be done through

University Centers, and according to Trujillo, the long-term plan is overhaul. “The idea is to replace them [Roma] altogether,” he said. Starbucks or any other replacement would also fall under the same existing restrictions — pricing, hours, decor and Triton Cash policies — all determined by UCAB. This replacement might mark

the first major change to what Lunetta says is PC’s oldest resident merchant. “We’ve been here since 1989, when Price Center first opened,” he said. “We’re the only restaurant that’s still here since 1989, and I’d like to keep this spot.”

readers can contact bill presant

wpresant@ucsd.edu

San Diego Trolley Extension Project Will Cost Over $1.7 Billion ▶ TROLLEY, from page 1

The project will cost upwards of $1.7 billion, half of which will come from the TransNet half-cent sales tax approved by voters in 1987. The rest of the costs will come from the Federal Transit Administration’s New Starts program. According to Vice Chancellor for Resource Management and Planning

Gary Matthews, the new trolley routes will also be beneficial to the San Diego environment. “Bringing the trolley to UCSD will provide greater access to the campus for the San Diego community,” Matthews said. “It also will reduce the campus’ carbon footprint, by encouraging members of the UCSD community to get out of their cars.” SANDAG will host four open

house meetings in June to provide the San Diego community with opportunities to learn more about the project and offer suggestions to be considered in the final environmental report. Comments must be received by July 16 to be considered in the official report.

readers can contact davis liang

d1liang@ucsd.edu


4

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

OPINION

CONTACT THE EDITOR

HILARY LEE opinion@ucsdguardian.org

It Takes the Right Mentality to Win College

EDITORIALS

Cap and Frown

Bro's eye view

brad segal jsegal@ucsd.edu

W

UCSD administrators should reform the separate college commencement ceremonies into one big event that senior classes will actually look forward to. Illustration by janella payumo

U

CSD’s senior class should be as excited about graduation as the bookstore, whose signs have been promoting every type of graduation-related product since last March. But unfortunately, these seniors really only get to look forward to the end of their commencement ceremonies, when they can toss their caps up in the air and shuffle out of RIMAC field and into the job market. The problems with commencement are a result of several factors: Our six-college system continues to divide students, the program’s structure leads to chaos and the ceremonies are just straight-up boring. Our administrators need to address these issues if they want graduates to leave with positive memories of UCSD. With the current system, many graduates are unable to stand alongside their friends in other colleges at graduation. UCSD has a separate commencement ceremony for each college and five other commencement ceremonies for other schools on campus, like the Jacobs School of Engineering and the Rady School of Management. UCSD’s college administrators also explicitly note that students cannot walk the stage at other colleges’ ceremonies. These separate commencement ceremonies unnecessarily divide graduates by identities that many leave behind after completing their general education. UCSD’s six colleges are arbitrary to students by the time they move off campus, and it seems unnecessary to bring them back into play among graduates who

have already befriended students in other colleges. Compared to other schools, UCSD’s graduation procedure seems profuse: UC Berkeley only holds one commencement ceremony, and UCLA holds two identical graduation ceremonies that graduating seniors can choose to sign up for. UCSD should consider following suit to allow graduates the option to graduate with their friends. UCSD administrators offer a minor concession with a much smaller, informal All Campus Graduation Celebration the night before the commencement ceremonies take place. However, this event is both unpublicized and unappealing to graduates. Frankly, the ceremony seems to be a sorry attempt from UCSD to provide an opportunity to celebrate graduating with friends. But graduates don’t want to sit through two sub-par ceremonies, and the informal ceremony alone does not equate to a traditional ceremony at which graduates wear caps and gowns and take pictures with their friends. The main reason why a single graduation ceremony seems unfeasible is that we have no on-campus facility with the capacity for a big, six-college commencement. RIMAC field can barely accommodate each of the six separate ceremonies. Graduates cannot even guarantee their guests tickets to the event as is, and although the administration assures students that parking will be “plentiful” (good joke),

EDITORIAL BOARD Laira Martin

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Zev Hurwitz

MANAGING EDITOR

Hilary Lee

OPINION EDITOR

Lauren Koa ASSOCIATE OPINION EDITOR

Mekala Neelakantan NEWS EDITOR

Aleksandra Konstantinovic ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR The UCSD Guardian is published twice a week at the University of California at San Diego. Contents © 2013. Views expressed herein represent the majority vote of the editorial board and are not necessarily those of the UC Board of Regents, the ASUCSD or the members of the Guardian staff.

See GRADUATION, page 5

UCSD Should Return to the Single-Pass Enrollment System This week, many UCSD students will be jolted from a post-Sun God stupor to realize, in horror, that their second-pass enrollment times have already begun. In addition to being the worst buzzkill imaginable, the two-pass system is clunky at best and is a serious detriment to seniors who are looking to finish up graduation requirements in a timely manner. The two-pass enrollment system was implemented only a year ago at UCSD, following the adoption of the same process at UCLA and UC Berkeley. The new system was intended to give students, particularly underclassmen, a better opportunity to register for some of their general education and major classes each quarter without worrying that upperclassmen would fill all available spaces in their required

lectures. Without the opportunity to wait-list during the first pass, the system is also supposed to encourage students to enroll in classes with open seats. However, first-pass enrollment only allows students to register for 11.5 units — the equivalent of two average classes, and, frustratingly, half a unit shy of a third class. As the majority of UCSD students have full-time status and will need to enroll in more than two classes per quarter, the two-pass system requires students to leave potentially vital classes until their second pass. This approach forces students to gamble with their classes as they weigh which sections are more likely to fill up than others. For upperclassmen, the twopass system routinely backfires in its efforts to ensure access to

classes. Enrollment times for both first- and second-pass enrollment are assigned by the number of units a student has to complete — the fewer units you have left, the higher priority you are given. This idea worked under single-pass enrollment, because seniors would get first pick and could enroll in all of their classes at once. Under a system with divided enrollment times, juniors and seniors will enroll in at least one class after the freshman and sophomores have had first pass, potentially risking losing a class vital to their impending graduation. This becomes especially problematic in the arts and humanities departments, whose classes are popular fillers for GE requirements but are still of higher importance to students who are majoring in those

disciplines. The two-pass system then gives underclassmen only a slight advantage while it potentially furthers a senior’s expected graduation time. Modeling our enrollment system on that of Berkeley or UCLA won’t automatically give us the same recognition and prestige of either of those universities. (Division-I sports might, but that’s another editorial altogether.) UCSD students don’t need the hand-holding of a two-pass system, especially one that ultimately hinders our efforts to enroll in classes. After an inaugural year, it’s time for UCSD to reevaluate the two-pass system and bring back the single-pass system. Single-pass enrollment worked on our campus in the past, and it’s undoubtedly the best step for our future.

ith graduation three short weeks away, looking back at the last five years, I can report that I’m stoked with my time in college. From running day-to-day operations for student orgs to spending two summers living with an indigenous community in the Amazon, I’ve been around the block. And despite all the time I spent shredding gnar or kicking it with my bros, I’m fortunate to be going to an excellent graduate program next year. Someone recently told me that I won at college. I want you to win it too. To win college you have to come to terms with you as a person. You need to figure out what you find to be important, and then you need to do it. But it’s not all that easy to figure out what your passions are, which means you have to get involved. If you have a vague interest in an organization or an extracurricular or even a lifestyle, act on it. You won’t find out if something’s meaningful to you until you’re a part of it. Getting super involved in college is probably like walking into the Mormon church off the I-5 — in reality everything’s different once you’re on the inside. This implies that you should get outside your comfort zone and engage yourself in ways you never expected. Your college experience will be defined by what you do. So you shouldn’t limit yourself and only do one thing, even if you do it well. You’ll learn about yourself faster in a diverse range of contexts. What’s essential here is that you do this without letting other people get under your skin. Take this as a lesson from Greek life; I’m aware I’m being judged when I walk around in letters, but I DGAF. Of course haters going to hate — if you didn’t learn anything else from this column it should be that haters shall hate. Winning at college requires that you have the confidence to not let the haters prevent you from being you. But if you aren’t going to take hate, you shouldn’t dish it out either. Super-seniors usually get past inter-community competition and adopt an outlook from which we see our classmates without judgment; they’re intriguing people who opted to take different routes through college. I’m not bothered by people who involved themselves in different ways than myself — it’s more important that they do what they’re passionate about. That mind-set will save you from unnecessary stress and will allow you to see your peers for who they are. The last secret to winning at college is beating the Koala’s former editor-in-chief Kris Gregorian in a beer chug-off. Work hard, but be able to let go and rage when you want to. Of course you need maturity to come out of college successful — but that just means that winning at college comes down to having the right mentality. Find your passions and set yourself up for the future, but don’t take everything so seriously. If you be yourself and walk out of this place a more interesting, mature person who still knows how to cut loose and YOLO, then, at least in the eyes of this columnist, you spent your time here well.


ARTS & TV TO DO | LIVING | FILM | MUSIC | THINGS | FILM | MUSIC | THINGS ARTS || FOOD FOOD&&DRINK DRINK| LIVING & TV TO DO

Weekend

Arts & Entertainment Editor: Jacey Aldredge • entertainment@ucsdguardian.org Lifestyle Associate Editors: Jean and Vincent Pham • lifestyle@ucsdguardian.org •• entertainment@ucsdguardian.org & Entertainment Entertainment Editor: RenLee Ebel entertainment@ucsdguardian.org Arts & Editor: Ren Ebel Lifestyle Laira Martin Martin •• lifestyle@ucsdguardian.org lifestyle@ucsdguardian.org Lifestyle Editor: Laira

Why God is Kanye: A Rapper’s Deification Between the FrameS sebastian brady sbrady@ucsd.edu

E

ven over the phone, The Aquabats lead singer Christian Jacobs (more commonly known as The MC Bat Commander) is animated. He laughs after almost every sentence whether it was a joke or not. His stories are rich and full of dialogue. And every now and then, a hint of his superhero voice, which is usually reserved for when he’s in character, shines through. Jacobs, the man who literally uses a Sharpie to blacken his front tooth (which both his dentist and wife are “not too stoked on”) and draw on a fake mustache to go to his day job, is behind “The Aquabats! Super Show!” The children’s show, which airs on the new network The Hub, has just received its first daytime Emmy nomination. After developing the concept nearly 20 years ago with some of the original band members (which once included Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker), Jacobs’ dream show is now filming its second season. “We’ve loved the show for almost 20 years even though we never actually made it,” Jacobs said. “We thought it was a good idea forever, and the fact that kids like it, and people are responding to it has been really cool.” If you haven’t already heard of Jacobs, you’ve surely seen his work. His first show, “Yo Gabba Gabba!” is part of a new generation of imaginative children’s television that airs on Nickelodeon. It’s likely that while skimming your Netflix queue during finals week, the first season of “The Super Show!” has showed up as a recommendation. If you haven’t already clicked on it, you should.

aquabats Assemble! BY Laira Martin

Editor-in-chief

With a cast of mainly middle-aged adults, “Superhero” rock band defies the norm of children’s television while still appealing to kids with superpowers and mustaches. The second season will premiere on June 1. “The first couple episodes got people worried because the show is not really like any other show. It feels a lot more adult than most kids shows,” he said. “A lot of the people on the show are middle-aged people so there’s not a ton of kids on the show, so it just feels like a different show in the space [of children’s television]. I think that got people nervous and worried, but once it aired and started doing well there was a lot of relief at the network.” Just as in their live shows, The Aquabats are able to reach a varied demographic with their television show, despite the fact that it’s targeted at children. Their fans have always been a mixed bag but Jacobs, who has four children himself, looks out for kids at shows because he says he’s still a kid at heart. “One of my first shows, I was in the fifth grade, and I saw ‘Oingo Boingo’ at The Palace, and this is when they were more underground,” See AQUABATS, page 9

There are two propositions that this piece will not even consider, much less accept. The first is that Kanye West is not a genius; any arguments to this effect were irrevocably shattered by his most recent album, “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” The other proposition that I will not entertain in this piece is that Kanye’s most recent event was a mere publicity stunt. Instead, it was artistic expression. For those who haven’t heard, Kanye has a new song out. It’s a really good song too: There are strong lyrics, emotional political content and the usual obscure, esoteric sample (in this case from a Hungarian rock band). But that’s not what makes this release special. What has created the most buzz around “New Slaves” is the way it was released. Kanye eschewed the usual means of publicizing a song. He didn’t give copies to radio stations to play. He didn’t leak it on the Internet. While he did perform it on “Saturday Night Live,” that came after the initial release. Rather than binding himself by these traditional methods of disseminating new material, he did something completely new. On the evening of May 17, a nondescript truck parked on the street in Brooklyn. Without warning, it started projecting a video onto an adjacent apartment building. The black-and-white video showed Kanye performing “New Slaves.” The video played twice through, and then the truck drove off with just as little notice or fanfare as it arrived. A similar scene was supposed to play out in 65 other surprise showings across the globe. Obviously, this created lots of media attention. The secrecy and excellent execution of the projections, along with the political message and musical strength of the song, made for interesting, exciting news. So in that sense, the projection was an extremely successful publicity grab. It grabbed headlines for West and his upcoming album, which is also shrouded in a carefully constructed secrecy, but might be dropping in June. To say that it was just a ploy for publicity, though, is to miss the art behind it. I think this event is an aesthetic self deification of Kanye West. And I think it works. See KANYE, page 9

MUSIC

FILM & TV

FOOD & DRINK

Vampire Weekend returns with a polished, memorable album.

“Epic” is aesthetically pleasing but otherwise bland.

Bottles and Bite-Sized Burgers

PAGE 7

PAGE 7

PAGE 9


A&E

film review

EPIC Though visually gorgeous, animated film “Epic” disappoints with lackluster plot and performances. Directed by Chris Wedge Starring Amanda Seyfried, Colin Farrell Release Date May 24th

D

irector Chris Wedge’s (“Ice Age”) new animated film “Epic” is a visually spectacular movie. It’s easily one of the most gorgeous films so far this year: The trees sway in the wind, the light filters through branches and when magical things happen in the film, they look magical. Even the characters are beautiful. If “A Bug’s Life” had fashion models, these tiny creatures would be them. (Hello, Beyonce.) Blue Sky Studios — the people who brought you the “Ice Age” franchise — have crafted something that is aesthetically stunning. However, “Epic” feels a bit like a remake of 1992’s “FernGully,” albeit slightly more interesting and, well, epic than that. A city girl, MaryKatherine (voiced by Amanda Seyfried, of “Dear John” and “Mamma Mia” fame), goes to reconnect with her estranged father, who spends his time trying to prove the existence of the tiny forest folk. It turns out that her father, voiced by Jason Sudeikis (“Saturday Night Live”), isn’t crazy after all, proven when Mary-Katherine

7

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

C+

accidentally gets shrunken down to the size of these “leaf men.” What follows is a fairly standard adventure that involves saving both the forest and Mary-Katherine’s broken relationship with her father. There’s a fairly ineffectual villain played by Christoph Waltz (“Django Unchained”) who tries to turn the forest into rot, a foolhardy flying ace, Mary-Katherine’s love interest, Nod (played by Josh Hutcherson of “The Hunger Games”) and, of course, incredibly annoying sidekicks of the post-“Shrek” era trope who pipe up with cliched, misappropriated modern slang. The actors are serviceable, although perhaps the only standout character is Colin Farrell (“Alexander,” “In Bruges”) as the stalwart General Ronin. He’s so much more capable than our protagonists as a seasoned Leafmen warrior that you wonder why a Tinkerbell-sized teen and her cohorts are really necessary at all. In addition, the bumbling father character and his three-legged dog provide a good amount of both heartstring-tug-

ging and comedic relief. Otherwise, everyone turns in an enjoyable performance, especially when it looks as lush and life-like as it does. The design work is great – the Leafmen wear armor that is partsamurai, part-Celtic warrior and sit atop hummingbirds with tiny saddles. The locations all look nearly photorealistic; where most 3-D feels as if it turns the characters into cutouts on an otherwise flat plane (when it does anything at all), with “Epic” the audience feels like they could actually walk into the enormous forest on display. If given the chance to see this in the 3-D format, take it. Aside from a bland story, perhaps the other major fault that the filmmakers stumble into is talking down to their audience. It’s frustrating to find that many animated filmmakers believe younger viewers aren’t smart enough to connect plot points, or, worse, assume that adults don’t make up a part of their audience. Fortunately, this film only really There’s one scene in the first part of the film that features a mother literally explaining to her child what’s going on in the scene, even though the film itself has already told the audience the story. While it has its faults, “Epic” is a solid adventure film. Visually, it’s Academy Award material. While it has a relatively bland plot, it sprinkles the proceedings with enough honesty, laughs and flourish that it’s worth a watch. It’s miles above many other animated films that have come out in recent years, and it’s much better for families than films like “Escape from Planet Earth” and “The Smurfs 2” that somehow keep popping up in theaters. If you’re looking to see some of the most stunning animation this side of Pixar, then you’re in for a treat.

— Nathan Cook

staff writer

album reviews Modern Vampires of the City by VAMPIRE WEEKEND Release Date May 7

Indie-rock powerhouse perfectly balances depth and catchiness.

S

ince the start of the millennium, it seems like nearly all of the most well written and memorable albums have either been hard to appreciate completely until the third listen — Radiohead and Bon Iver’s discographies — or are catchy from the start but lack depth — Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe.” With “Modern Vampires of the City,” Vampire Weekend has created an unlikely album that is both instantly loveable and thoughtfully intricate. The first word that comes to mind with “Modern Vampires of the City” is “alluring.” Much of this is due to the vocal melodies, which range from the excited, bouncy first verse of “Worship You” to the sweet, stretching lines of “Step.” The instrumental arrangements are equally gorgeous, mixing busy drum-work, ethereal synthesizers and electric guitar seamlessly. While literally every moment of the album illustrates this, the best instance is the incredible climax of baroque harpsichord going into the choruses of “Don’t Lie.” One of the tunes that stands out most, “Hudson,” is instrumentally sparse and sounds like a gloomy death march. For those less familiar with their work, a legitimately

creepy song like this from Vampire Weekend would be as out-of-style as Metallica releasing a Christmas sing-along collection. Amazingly, not only does “Hudson” fit into the album, it happens to be one of “Modern Vampires”’ best moments, convincingly promoting the album’s main theme of mortality with somber lyrics and a ticking clock used as percussion. Though it contains only enjoyable, polished songs, the disappointment with this album is that despite its potential for perfection, it falls just short. With so many flawless tracks like “Step,” “Dianne Young,” “Finger Back” and “Hudson,” the one or two weak points in the album are more apparent, like the fact that chorus of “Obvious Bicycle” wanders a little too close to territory explored in “Contra.” But this amounts to looking for superficial mistakes in what is very arguably the best alternative album released so far this year: Most of “Modern Vampires of the City“ is literally more gratifying than sex, while the remaining parts come pretty damn close.

9/10

— Kyle Somers

Take advantage of UC San Diego Extension’s UCSD Student Grant Program

(formerly known as Complimentary Enrollment)

Summer Quarter 2013 Dates: May 20 - 24, 2013

(First-come, first-served, while vouchers last.)

Undergrads - To pick up your vouchers, have your student ID card and go to Extension Student Services Center, Building C.

Graduate and medical students - please contact OGSR and the School of Medicine for their complimentary vouchers.

Choose from these courses and more. Visit extension.ucsd.edu for a complete listing. ARTS * Drawing: Focus on Perception * Intermediate Piano * Photography: Images and Techniques * Improv 101 * FOREIGN LANGUAGES * English to Spanish Translation * Portuguese for Communication I * HUMANITIES & WRITING * Creative Writing I * Copyediting I * Writing Children’s Picture Books *

DIGITAL ARTS * Digital Media * Mobile Game Development * Dreamweaver I * BUSINESS * Project Management Essentials * Events Management * Financial Decision Making * Global Marketing * PUBLIC SERVICE & SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY * Introduction to Sustainability * Historic Preservation

Planning * Corporate Social Responsibility * LIFE SCIENCES * Cell and Molecular Biology * Biostatistics * Drug Metabolism * INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY * Web Publishing * Concepts in Healthcare IT * HEALTHCARE, BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES * Basic Medical Coding * Medical Terminology * The Physiology of Exercise *

Call (858) 534-3400 or visit Extension Student Services, Building C *Some restrictions apply.

extension.ucsd.edu

Staff Writer


8

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

When Dining Dollars Run Out The Creative and Inexpensive Ways to Substitue Dining Hall Food BY Nichole Perri Staff

Wrtier

illustrations by

jeffrey lau

E

very student on campus faces the same dilemma towards the end of spring quarter: a lack of dining dollars. Three meals a day and buying that daily Frappuccino for $3.75 seemed like nothing, but small transactions add up. A month of school is left, and that month includes a week of binge eating during finals. Those 100 dining dollars you have remaining just aren’t going to cut it. Cooking is a challenge for many, especially due to limited appliances and food storage space in dorms. Here are some unique and resourceful ways to eat with limited dining dollars inside and outside the dorms.

Coffee Maker

1. Make instant oatmeal. Pour two packets into the carafe. Add honey, syrup or jam and a pinch of salt. Then, put a tea bag into the filter. Pour eight to 10 cups of water into the coffee maker. The oatmeal should be ready in about five minutes. 2. Make instant ramen. It won’t taste like Tajima, but it will do. Put the uncooked noodles into the carafe. Add water to submerge the noodles. Then, pour seasoning and your toppings of choice, like seaweed, eggs or onions into the coffee maker. Place the eggs in the carafe, and let the water drip down over them for a couple minutes. 3. Make boiled vegetables. Put all the vegetables you want in the filter and run water through the coffee maker until the vegetables are tender. 4. Make pasta. Buy raw noodles for $2.50 at a dining hall. Fill the coffee pot’s carafe with water. Then, place the pasta in the water. Turn the coffee pot on, and drain when it’s done. No filter needed. Iron 5. Cook bacon with an iron. Put bacon inside of a foil sheet. Crimp the sheet to seal the bacon. Then iron the foil sheet for about 10 minutes. Do this on an ironing board or any flat surface. 6. Cook chicken with an iron. Seal the chicken in foil. Then, with the iron on the highest setting, iron the chicken on both sides until it is cooked all the way through. Cook it for about 20 minutes until it’s no longer pink in the middle. You can do the same with fish, turkey and grilled vegetables. 7. Make grilled cheese with an iron. Wrap the bread and cheese in foil, and then iron them. Make a quesadilla with an iron the same way.

Microwave

8. Cook scrambled eggs. Coat a bowl with non-stick spray. Then, crack and beat the eggs. Add toppings like cheese, onions and peppers. Cook for one minute. 9. Cook a potato in the microwave. Wash the potato. Then cut it in the center and wrap a paper towel over it. Cook it in the microwave for 5 minutes.

Campus

10. Join every club on campus. Many student orgs try to attract new members with the promise of free food. With over 500 clubs and meetings almost every day of the week, you’ll never go hungry — and you might find a new club or meet some new people along the way. 11. Check out the farmers market every Tuesday in Matthews Quad. It offers healthy food at reasonable prices. 12. Check out Roger’s Garden. It is located in Revelle College, just past the Che Cafe. Keep in mind for next year’s budget: If you volunteer for enough hours, you can earn a plot to grow your own vegetables. Other colleges have gardens as well: ERC has Ellie’s Garden, and Earl’s Garden is located in Warren. Many gardens offer harvest days where anyone can come to harvest and the food. 13. Go to the General Store Co-op, located in the Student Center. It has food and snacks that are 5 percent to 25 percent cheaper than Price Center and the campus markets. Also check out the Food Co-op next to the General Store. It serves allorganic cheap vegetables, baked goods like cookies and cakes, juices and Indian food. 14. Eat at Porter’s Pub. Many students think Porter’s only serves beer or that you have to be 21 to get in, but there is no age restriction and there’s plenty of food, too. They offer a $3 menu until 7 p.m. that includes macaroni and cheese, hamburgers, chicken tenders and Mexican-style pizza. 15. Triton Cash to the rescue! You need it to do your laundry, but you can use it for more than that. When you use Triton Cash, you save 10 percent on your purchase at all dining halls and markets — even the Bistro. Some off-campus vendors also accept Triton Cash, like Chipotle, Islands, McDonald’s and Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza. 16. When all else fails, eat your roommate’s food.

SITE SEEN

Konkocshun

Energy-filled activities, free food, student-made beats and Electric Guest — the perfect concoction. BY Katherine shi

staff writer Everyone’s a little sad that Sun God is over, but there is still more to be excited about: More music and festivities are yet to come. Before students head back to the intensive study of midterms and finals that are stressful, there’s still a great opportunity to calm your nerves and rid yourself of anxiety by celebrating Sixth College’s annual Music and Arts Festival: Kuncocshun 2013. Alex Villa, Sixth College sophomore and first year festival director says the event continues old traditions and introduces new events. “My goal for this year’s Kuncocshun Festival was to keep

it traditional but also revamp it,” he said. “We changed the location [from Warren Field to the Sixth residence hall quad] to keep it more Sixth-oriented; there are student performers, which is a very traditional aspect of Kuncocshun.” A traditional arts event for Sixth students, Kuncocshun allows the whole campus to celebrate the college’s theme of culture, art and technology. Kuncocshun has featured a number of notable artists in years past. From Elevaters in 2009, Shiny Toy Guns in 2010, Tyler Hilton in 2011, and the Limousines and Little Hurricane in 2012, Kuncocshun provides a convenient platform for students to see artists they like and interact directly with talented musicians. This year, the up-and-coming duo

Electric Guest will headline the stage. Festival-goers will most likely know the band from their single “This Head I Hold,” which was featured in an advertisement for Super Bowl XLVII and in Entertainment Weekly’s “Your Spring Playlist” feature. “Electric Guest was one of our top choices because they are this new, up-and-coming indie/pop/ electronic band from L.A.,” Villa said. “I think their vibe embodies that of Sixth College.” Even if students are not interested in the upcoming music performances, the free food and giveaways are definitely a good enough reason to show up. Sixth College student organizations will be at the event, and games and activities will include Dance Dance Revolution machines and a

“Mystery Vault.” (Come and find out what’s inside!) On Friday, May 24, make sure you come with your friends from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at the Sixth College residence hall quad. There’s nothing better than a Friday night spent with close friends, listening to live music performed by favorite bands and satisfying delicious food cravings that have been lingering all week — all for free. Come see what the Sixth College Festivals Committee has put together, meet new friends and come home with new gifts and memories. It may not be summer yet, but it’s time to relax a little bit in sunny, warm May and have fun by joining the Kuncocshun.

readers can contact Katherine Shi

y1shi@ucsd.edu

LIFESTYLE Drunk Sex: Whiskey Dick Go Away That's What She Said Lifestyle@ucsdguardian.org

A

s I’m sure the vast majority of you noticed, this past Friday was the sloppy, crazy, glorious festival we at UC Socially Dead call Sun God. It’s an inspiring event for your equally glorious columnist, because there is no better time to observe huge groups participate in utter debauchery. I felt there were a few topics that would have tied in nicely — how to control your body enough to have at least somewhat-satisfying sex while inebriated, how to avoid accidentally flashing the Guardian’s sex columnist, or how to tell whether or not you’re still in public when you start getting at your partner in the grass. But in my effort to use my own mistakes as lessons for the good of man and womankind alike, I instead chose to share one of my more personally disappointing moments. This situation is not of the most glamorous ones to be in, but it undoubtedly has happened to everyone at some point. And if it hasn’t, it will soon enough. I speak of the occurrence of the dreaded “whiskey dick” phenomenon. For those not in the know, whiskey dick refers to the inability of a male partner to perform sexually after consuming too much alcohol, which can prevent erections because of its effect on the blood vessels of the penis. This is especially tragic because alcohol often makes the idea of having sex so much more appealing, not to mention it tends to make people much more appealing in general. I’m sure it’s obvious how whiskey dick ties into the Sun God Festival, as I’m sure it was obvious to notice the widespread gleeful intoxication. And while I must admit that I did not bring anyone home for a disappointing escapade this year, the whiskey dick experience need not fall on a holiday to be universal. The story is brief but heartbreaking. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a one-time occurrence, but the first time is the most memorable. Your always-classy sex columnist and her partner at the time drank too much one evening, and one thing led to another. We were undressed and ready to go, engaging in challenges engendered only by liquid-fueled impulsiveness, and … nothing. As much as we tried, and in spite of his insistence that one more minute would do the trick, there was no response. We eventually gave up, not because we are quitters, but because we were tired out. Crying yet? My first impulse was to be frustrated and upset. This was exacerbated alcohol induced emotions, and it can be easy to blame yourself for something that has less to do with you and more to do with Jack Daniels. It’s not because you’re not sexy or because you don’t know what you’re doing, but it’s always important to keep communication channels open even when you’re not quite on top of your game. Alternately, you might feel like blaming your partner for performance inadequacies, though in this case, it’s more productive to blame their drinking habits than anything else. For most people, shouting or crying will not facilitate a boner, so that discussion might best be saved for a calmer time. More than anything, this calls for you and your partner to be willing to laugh at yourselves. Bumps in the road like this happen all the time, and no one gains anything by busting a blood vessel over it. Perhaps this column returns to this theme often, but I believe that sex should be fun, and most of the time, it really is funny if you stop to think about it. Get a laugh out of it, sleep it off and hopefully make up for it in the morning.


LIFESTYLE

9

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

RESTAURANT REVIEW

HAVE A DRINK ON US

Soda & Swine

MY LITTLE PONY

A variety of soda pop and bite-sized servings come packed in flavor — and candlelit meals turn casual. BY margaret yau

senior staff writer There is nothing standing in the way of success for Soda & Swine, a new Consortium Holdings-owned restaurant in Normal Heights. Like its sister restaurants Craft & Commerce and Underbelly — both in Little Italy — Soda & Swine delivers what its hip audience really wants: Comfort food done right. For Soda & Swine, it’s all about the small details. The restaurant has communal seating, with two long tables stretching the length of the restaurant. On busier nights, you may rub elbows with some bizarre couples on first dates. Escape to the far end of the restaurant, where a woodburning fireplace is kept at a comfortable roar. Water is offered from a fire hydrant tap, but a sign warns patrons to “please use with discretion and never take for granted.” Duly noted. Fries are served in miniature sized basket fryers, meatball plates The ordering process is simple — are served on cast-iron skillets and choose one of five meatball options sodas are bottled, never iced. (pork, chorizo, beef, chicken and Of course, the restaurant knows quinoa) in one of four styles of what it’s doing with preparation (slider, subthe big-ticket items, marine, plate or with Hours: namely, soda and pasta). swine. Meatballs are Served on a thick, Mon-Sun 4 pm prepared in-house crunchy bun, the 1:30 am from fresh slabs of “Swine” smoked pork Location: meat in the back. slider ($3) defied expecA 28-strong menu tations. Instead of bland, 2943 Adams Ave of sodas, ranging chewy gristle, the tender (at 30th St) from Sioux City San Diego, CA 92116 ground pork gave way to Sarsaparilla to a an almost overwhelming Caribbean-based smoked flav or. It stood grapefruit soda is up well against a “chipoexciting if you’ve tle” sauce that was more never ventured inside Cost Plus barbecue than salsa. or Bristol Farms. It’s difficult to go The “Bovine” slider ($3), a beef, wrong with any of these options, but marinara and mozzarella trio was the grapefruit-flavored Ting soda just that — a classic meatball sub. ($3) pairs up nicely with the heavier What could have been the Subway meat-and-cheese dishes ahead. of meatballs (used here as an

insult) instead became a favorite. The meatball, made of nothing but ground beef, fell apart in chunks of fatty meat. The “Hen” meatball plate ($7) and fried polenta ($5) both came on small cast-iron skillets that burned. Served with a thick mushroom sauce, the chicken meatball had the rich flavor and hearty texture of an overprotective mother’s meatloaf. Just simple ground chicken, the dish was far richer than poultry ever has a right to be. In most restaurants, fried polenta is always served with marinara and mozzarella. It’s an Italian classic, a wheel that doesn’t need to be reinvented. The hunk of polenta was lightly fried, its crisp shell shattering to reveal its creamy interior, and paired with a mild and unadventurous, arrabiata sauce. The mozzarella was the best part — a

fresh scoop rested on top, melting under the heat of the skillet. Continuing in the spirit of fresh home cooking, the classic apple pie a la mode ($5) is prepared inhouse. Somebody in the kitchen clearly has a vendetta against sugar, because the natural fructose of the apples didn’t cut it. Instead, flavor came from an American-sized coating of cinnamon. Fortunately, a buttery crust and banana-tasting vanilla soft serve nearly made up for all of the pie’s imperfections. It’s food for the indecisive. Soda & Swine’s small-dishes-done-right restaurant concept is already a hit amongst locals who are gentrifying Normal Heights. And the lines don’t look like they’re dying down anytime soon.

readers can contact margaret yau

The Guardian asked Paris from West Coast Tavern in North Park to recommend a drink of her choice. This cocktail is a variation of the classic 1950s drink, the Moscow Mule.

INGREDIENTS 1.5 ounces Stoli Peach Vodka 2 dashes bitters 1/2 ounce fresh lime juice Top with ginger beer or ginger ale. Serve on the rocks, and garnish with lime and mint. If you don’t have peach-flavored vodka, simply replace it with your favorite spirit. Enjoy this spin on a mule, and call it a modern classic. — ADRIENNE FOLEY Staff Writer

m1yau@ucsd.edu

Aquabats’ Lead Singer Christian Jacobs Discusses the Zany Energy His Emmy Nominated Kids Show ▶ AQUABATS from page 6

Jacobs said. “Danny Elfman brought me on stage, signed an autograph and was really cool. I’ll never forget that. I always want to bring [kids] on stage and make that experience special for them. I hope they’ll never forget it. It’s such a special time being a kid where everything is pure, and you don’t realize how crappy the world at the time.” The Aquabats are a versatile bunch. Their live concerts are a full-out production with animated videos, visits from evil villains and even crowd-surfing children. But as much as he wanted it, for Jacobs, success didn’t always seem like it was on the horizon. “Looking back on it there was no way we could blow up back then,” he

said. “We wear costumes. We’re stupid superheroes. If we gained a mainstream audience quickly, we probably wouldn’t have appreciated it, and we would have faded into obscurity very quickly. But the fact that we’ve had such a slow build and such great fans that are super faithful has been much better. Any kind of success we see now is shared with our fans.” Some people may see their costumes and silly lyrics and write off the Aquabats but, in an unexpected way, there’s a moral message for their followers. “A kid walking down the street in his Aquabats costume ... most people are going to roll down their window blasting LMFAO and call him dumb,” Jacobs said. “And that kid, through himself, knows

that he’s not dumb, and he’s going against the grain, and that’s what the Aquabats are all about. No one’s judging you.” The Aquabats have performed at UCSD twice in the last decade both at our beloved Sun God Festival in 2000 and at Muirstock in 2006. They’ll be making their way back to San Diego for the Vans Warped Tour this summer on June 19 at the Sleep Train Amphitheatre. It’s not quite clear if they’re just a bunch of guys in costumes fighting evil, musicians or actors. The latter came the least naturally to them according to Jacobs. They brought in Matt Walsh, a founding member (alongside greats like Amy Poehler) of The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater (a school) in Los Angeles to give the musical super

heroes a lesson in acting. “We hired him to coach us for a week,” Jacobs said. “We woke up every day, and we had comedy boot camp. We’d get to the studio at about 8:30 a.m., and for eight straight hours he’d coach us on everything. [Acting] was tricky. I had a bit of an acting background, and I was excited. But it was a bit more nervewracking for the other guys.” Although there are so many varying aspects to Jacobs’ job, he says his favorite part is being in character as the Bat Commander. “Actually being the MC Bat Commander is the best,” he said. “It’s basically like getting paid to be the class clown. That costume empowers you with a weird silliness. I obviously look so ridiculous.

Every time you just wanted to stand up in the middle of math class to be a jerk just to make everyone laugh only to get sent to the principal’s office — that’s what I feel like I get to do with the Aquabats.” For the diehard Aquabat fans that remember going to Cadet Summits (a convention solely for official fan club members called “Aquacadets”) back in the early 2000s, Jacobs confirmed that they’re planning their first Cadet Summit since 2006 for next summer. They’ve also written several songs for a new Aquabats album, which they hope to release by the end of the year.

readers can contact Laira Martin

LMM002@ucsd.edu

Kanye West Reflects the Nietzschean Ideals of Becoming One’s Own God with His Music Video Release ▶ KANYE, from page 6

Everyone, including the man himself, agrees that Kanye has an outsized ego. The rumored title of his new album, though, takes this new ego to an entirely higher realm. According to multiple reports, the title will be “Yeezus.” Yeezus, a combination of Jesus and Yeezy, one of Kanye’s self-given nicknames, makes the self deification unavoidable. But how does projecting Yeezy’s new song on some brick wall in Williamsburg, Brooklyn further develop this Nietzschean deification? For one, it makes Kanye the complete master of his work. Rather than be dependent on radio stations or television shows to promote his

work for him, he is circumventing these means. He creates his owns means of distribution. If listeners want to really hear “New Slaves” (the civilian recordings are shoddy and can’t do the song justice), they must hope West blesses them with a virtual performance. West’s music will only be played when and where he wants it to be played. In doing so, he makes himself a creator to a far greater degree than most artists. While he began his career beholden to other people, he’s reached a point where he controls everything. He makes the music, but he also distributes the music. Thus he holds all artistic power. He can create what he wants and can do with it whatever he pleases. He is absolutely free, just like God.

Beyond this economic self sufficiency as supernatural power, the imagery of the film is much more indicative of the deistic theme. The sheer magnitude of the projection project makes him seem omnipotent. The video was shown in 66 cities around the world. The coordination and capital outlay required to pull this act off in that many cities (without the song ever leaking) is a gargantuan feat in itself. The feeling of omnipotence is obvious. Kanye has a grasp on the entire globe. He is everywhere, just like God. The effect of the video makes this omnipotence even more chilling. Throughout the video, West stares directly into the camera. When projected tens of feet tall, his face look like it’s staring directly at

you, rapping to you. A more easily palatable parallel than God might be Big Brother in George Orwell’s “1984.” In that book, Big Brother’s face is everywhere, watching you. But it should be noted that, in the book, Big Brother essentially played the role of a god without being called one. And so the eerie effect of Kanye’s face looming over passersby is unnerving because of the divine power it seems to represent. Whatever you do, Kanye will see you. He is omnipotent, just like God. Does this self deification project seem ridiculous? It shouldn’t. Kanye’s self deification (when viewed aesthetically and philosophically) makes perfect sense in the modern western world. Nietzsche, who Kanye reads and admires,

already informed us that God is dead. Furthermore, in a particular reading of some Nietzschean works (which would take far too long to evaluate in this column), it is man’s future to become a god in his own right, reflected by Kanye’s actions. Herein lies Kanye’s true genius. Disregard for a moment the gaffes, the ego, the disreputable girlfriend, all of the problems of celebrity. Look instead at his aesthetics. Look instead at his philosophy. What makes Kanye so great to those willing to take him seriously as an artist is his ability to, through art, epitomize the modern quest to create new values and new gods.

readers can contact sEBASTIAN bRADY

SEBRADY@ucsd.edu


OPINION

5

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

HALYCON DAYS By Christie Yi

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

The Huntsman Cancer Fund Is a Worthy Cause

Distributing Guest Tickets Will Ease Some Commencement Chaos ▶ GRADUATION, from page 4

capacity is limited, and seating is “first come, first served.” Things might move more smoothly if ticketed guest passes were issued. It seems but a minor request to allow graduates to guarantee seating for guests who fly in for the ceremony. UCLA’s ceremony allots each graduate four guests and an option to purchase more tickets for a fee, and Berkeley’s ceremony requires graduates to request and then purchase tickets. Ticketing our commencement ceremony would not only level the seating battlefield; it would also provide a safer, more organized way to anticipate the number of guests who will attend the event. It will help prevent more

of the inevitable chaos that accompanies graduation ceremonies, especially considering that, thanks to the six colleges’ separate events, they occur back-to-back. If graduates and their guests have to endure hours of speeches, it would be appreciable if UCSD could deliver better guest speakers. Over the past few years, we’ve had some cool (but still random) speakers, like Uncle Phil from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” “Beavis and Butthead” creator James Avery and UCSD alumnus Mike Judge, but speakers have mostly been unknown alumni that graduates and their families have no interest in hearing speak at graduation. If UCSD administrators didn’t have to locate a different speaker for each

ceremony, they might actually be able to find one interesting, qualified speaker to address the graduating class. If UC Davis can get Nancy Pelosi to speak at its commencement ceremony, there’s no reason why a university of our caliber can’t get similar speakers for ours. Commencement is a rite of passage that graduating seniors can’t miss, but it shouldn’t be an event that they dread attending. UCSD administrators should address graduation as an issue and should plan to reform an event that is both crucial to the reputation of the university and its future alumni. After spending a difficult few years at UCSD, graduates deserve an inclusive, organized event they can actually look forward to.

Preparing for success and

Dear Editor, UCSD’s own Sigma Chi Iota Chi chapter held the fraternity’s national philanthropy, Derby Days, from May 6 to May 9 during Week 6. Each year, every Sigma Chi chapter holds Derby Days across the nation in order to fundraise for the Huntsman Cancer Foundation, or the Huntsman Cancer Institute. John Huntsman, Sr., cancer patient and survivor, has made it his mission to devote his life to finding a cure to cancer. The foundation uses funds to research cancers across the board including thyroid cancer, breast cancer, colon cancer, melanoma and many more. The institute researches the genealogy of cancers in efforts to locate the disease in humans faster as well as treat it more safely and efficiently. At UCSD, Sigma Chi places a swing and its booth on library walk for 24 hours per day from Monday all the way through Thursday. Sororities nominate a “Derby Darling” who will represent her chapter at every “swing time” and rally her sisters to get excited about the week’s festivities. Sororities pick three-hour windows from Monday through Thursday for their swing times. During these three-hour blocks, sorority members swing nonstop until the next sorority arrives for their chosen swing time. The week is full of fun activities like an Inter-Fraternity Council sumo-wrestling competition, sorority bake sales in which funds are donated to the HCI, and penny wars. The week ended on Thursday evening with a fun rendition of the popular 1970s show, “The Dating Game,” in which the Derby Darlings

from the top seven-earning sororities participated and asked anonymous Sigma Chis questions about their ideal date scenarios. Although these events fostered fun competition, it is important to note that UCSD stood up together to raise the money for cancer research. The IFC, Pan-Hellenic Council and Multicultural Group Council all worked cohesively at UCSD this year to help the Iota Chi chapter raise just over $12,000 for the HCI. John Huntsman Sr. matches every single dollar raised by each chapter across the United States in donations. Derby Days truly was a blast and a success. Unfortunately, over 12 million people globally will learn they have cancer this year. While Derby Days has ended, our battle against cancer hasn’t. Give hope to those who may not feel it at the moment. I truly believe that anything you do makes a difference in someone else’s life, even if that something amounts to $1. You can donate to the URL below. Have a great day and thank you so much. http://www.huntsmancancer.org/ giving/huntsman-cancer-foundation/ ways-to-give/donate-online — Joey Tompkins Freshman, Eleanor Roosevelt College ▶

The Guardian welcomes letters from its readers. All letters must be addressed, and written, to the editor of the Guardian. Letters are limited to 500 words, and all letters must include the writer’s name, college and year (undergraduates), department (graduate students or professors) or city of residence (local residents). A maximum of three signatories per letter is permitted. The Guardian Editorial Board reserves the right to edit for length, accuracy, clarity and civility. The Editorial Board reserves the right to reject letters for publication. Due to the volume of mail we receive, we do not confirm receipt or publication of a letter. email: opinion@ucsdguardian.org

When YOu’re 25 Or under, YOur eYes eAt FOr Free At MCAsd.

the CPA exam.

Feed it for free with an all-you-can-eat buffet

Pepperdine’s Master of Science in Accounting (MSA)

of contemporary art at MCASD.

is an intensive program that prepares you for a career

Museum locations downtown and in La Jolla.

in public accounting, industry, government, and the nonprofit sector. The 30-unit curriculum can be completed

The human eye has a creative appetite.

Visit us online for more info.

in as few as nine months and is designed for those who seek the academic preparation and credits required for CPA licensure in California and most other states.

The Master of Science in Accounting

FeedYourGreedyOrgan.com

25 and under?

bschool.pepperdine.edu

Admission is always free!

25 and under free admission is generously supported by Qualcomm Foundation.

13COM025_25Under UCSDGuardian.indd 1

4/1/13 11:32 AM


10

CLASSIFIEDS

T H E U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | W W W . U C S D G U A R D I A N . O R G

Room to Rent at Bay Park/ Mission Bay

French Poodle Puppy - $175 - We have French Poodle Puppies. $175 each. males available only. 619-878-7887. 619-862-9142. Listing ID: 55739229 at ucsdguardian.org/ classifieds for more information

3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage, newly remodeled. Looking for: non-smoker, super clean, professional roommate, no pets. Requires: $1,500.00 deposit, background check, $35 tenant screening; Rent $1250.00 + ½ utilities. Email: drmguns@att.net

Yorkshire Terrier Male - $275 - Gorgeous, Super Friendly Male Purebred Yorkshire Terrier. Medium Size Yorkie - about 12 pounds - (not teacup style) 18 months, Black and Gold, not fixed. no email and no text - serious inquiries only.

MUSIC SERVICES

“Sound Gallery” Award-Winning DJ Service. Creative, experienced, professional DJ, and a music collection second-to-none. Playing “Free Style” all genres and eras! We do: indoor/outdoor events & clubs. Playing: Top 40 - Old School - New School - Latin - Jazz - Zydeco - Country - Slow Dancing - Pole Dancing - Flamenco - Waltzes - Tangos Easy listening - Etc. Call DJ O. Sergio at 858.405.8210. Email: mainserge@ hotmail. com. Web: facebook.com/dj.osergio

SOUND GALLERY AWARD-WINNING DJ SERVICE

DJ O. Sergio

Ph 858-405-8210 mai ns erge@hotmai l . com

facebook.com/dj.osergio

3 Bedroom/3 Bath Townhome 2 car garage and fireplace, La Jolla $545K Coastal Real Estate Lic.0901218 Sherry (858)361-9908

Level: 1 2 3 4 Level: 1 2 3 4

Level: 1 2 3 4

HOUSING 3-4 Student Housing - Available September - 3 bedrooms 1.5 bath condo off Eastgate Mall Road, perfect for 3-4 students. Washer/ dryer, pool/spa. Near bus line. Contact ninaho24@hotmail.com. Near UCSD, UTC $2100. Available September - 3 bedrooms .com/ 1.5 bath condo near UCSD, UTC - perfect for 3-4 students. Washer/dryer included. No co-signers needed. Listing ID: 56100358 at

ucsdguardian www.ucsdguardian.org/advertising

made t

order your vision, our mission.

.com/

Create custom apparel to promote your student organization with Triton Outfitter's new Made TO Order program!

ucsdguardian

outfitters@ucsd.edu

.com/

ucsdguardian

Level: 1 2 3 4

Level: 1 2 3 4

9/14/09

Level: 1 2 3 4

Pure Breed Shih Tzu Pups - $550 - Pure breed males and females+ 1st shots They will be golden white when full grown. Cash only No Txt 619818-1057. Listing ID: 55739657 at ucsdguardian.org/classifieds for more information

Level: Level: 1 2 3 4 1 2 1 2 3 4 3 Level: 4

LARGE FURNISHED ROOM WITH BATH, AND SEPARATE ENTRANCE, IN LA JOLLA HOME WITH A VIEW. WALK TO SHORES BEACH. KITCHEN USE. ON BUS ROUTE. UTILITIES INCLUDED. PARKING ON DRIVEWAY. CALL JANET AT 858-456-0865. EMAIL JANHEY6@AOL.COM

VW Gti Factory CD Player - $100. Factory OEM ‘Premium 7’ mp3 CD player from a 2007 VW GTi-perfect cond-like new! Fits 06-08 for sure...may fit other yrs and models as well. Listing ID: 56426330 at ucsdguardian.org/ classifieds for more information

www.ucsdguardian.org/classifieds

Level: 1 2 3 4

PETS Beautiful White Doberman - $550 - This is powder, she is a 16 week old white Doberman female, tail docked, dew claws removed, ears are still natural, but can still be trimmed. She is a very loving dog and would make a great addition to any family. Pictures are of her and her sisters at fiesta island this last sunday, any questions,please email me Listing ID: 56030029 at ucsdguardian.org/classifieds for more information

Onkyo TX-4500 Receiver - $250. Audio, onkyo analog 80s device $250. Listing ID: 56028836 at ucsdguardian.org/classifieds for more information

VISIT

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk

Level: 1 2 3 4

ROOM FOR RENT IN LA JOLLA HOME $950

$

Original xbox 360 w/ games - $145 - Selling a original white xbox. Comes with all the wires and a wireless controller. The games Guardian Classifieds are FREE for the UC San Diego community. are Mx vs Atv alive, Modern warfare 2, Black VISIT www.ucsdguardian.org/classifieds ops. Email or txt or call. Available anytime. Listing ID: 56426337 at ucsdguardian.org/ classifieds for more information

Level: 1 2 3 4

Get the perfect part-time job. Earn $12.85/hour. Work on campus. Flexible hours. Paid training. Hiring now for summer training. UCSD students only. Details at shuttledrivers.ucsd.edu

ELECTRONICS

Level: 1 2 3 4

Classifieds

Two spots left in an apartment for next year - $450. I have a group of 3 girls at the moment for an apartment next year and we would like to add 2 more to the group! We have an idea of which areas and complexes we’re interested in and are all UCSD female students. Message me if you’re interested at lrumberg@ucsd.edu. Note: the price listed is about what the cost would be per person with utilities IF we had a five person apartment. Listing ID: 56225384 at ucsdguardian. org/classifieds for more information

Level: 1 2 3 4

GOOD DRIVERS NEEDED

$275. San Diego. ph# 619-851-0130. Listing ID: 55476567 at ucsdguardian.org/classifieds for more information

Level: 1 2 3 4

ucsdguardian.org/classifieds for more information

Level: 1 2 3 4

Classifieds

$

Guardian Classifieds are FREE for the UC San Diego community.

Lev 1 3

Complete each row, 3-by-3 box borders) c every digit strategies solve Sudo www.sudo

SOLUT SATURDAY

© 2009 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.


SPORTS

11

T h e U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | w w w . ucsdguardian . o rg

Tritons Row Alongside Barry and Central Oklahoma in First Heat of NCAA Division II National Championships

Guardian to Supply the Keg Next Year ▶ UDA, from page 12

last leg. We were unable to make up enough ground, and by this time, the keg had been emptied. The 18–6 loss marks the fourth straight year that the Guardian will be buying the keg for next season’s sloshball. And even though the bulk of the Guardian roster is still recovering from sunburns, and though the overwhelming female presence on the Guardian staff may hamper us for many seasons to come — as hard

as it is for me to concede — sloshball is a tradition worth preserving. If spending 15 hours twice a week together doesn’t do it, the act of steeling ourselves at Vallarta’s before the match, commiserating at Vallarta’s after the match and jumping to the defense of a Guardian editor in the face of Koala heckling certainly knits us closer together.

readers can contact RACHEL UDA

RUDA@ucsd.edu

USA volleyBALL

USA Volleyball to Come to RIMAC

photo by nolan thomas /Guardian FILE

▶ CREW, from page 12

runners up in 2007 and 2008. At the All-WIRA conference championships, UCSD’s varsity eight boat came in second place, just 0.8 seconds behind Western Washington. For their efforts, UCSD placed four rowers in the All-WIRA conference team, with seniors Travaglione and Michelle Robins named to the first team. Seniors Alyssa DixonWord, the UCSD Captain, and Tanya Vander Vis named to the second team. In UCSD’s last meet, the Aberdeen Dad Vail Regatta, the Tritons faced three of its NCAA opponents. In the first heat, UCSD placed fifth with a time of 7:57.41 behind

second place Mercyhurst (7:51.18). In the second round, the Tritons bested Mercyhurst, finishing at 7:06.95. In the grand final, the Tritons again placed in front of Mercyhurst but behind No. 1 Barry University and No. 2 Nova Southeastern University. “Honestly, Mercyhurst, we should beat them no problem. Both Barry and Nova Southeastern are extremely fast, although it’s hard to say how much faster because the conditions were not the greatest at the [Dad Vail Regatta].” Travaglione says UCSD will take off for Nationals next Tuesday, May 29. “I expect us to make the Grand Final,” Travaglione said. “We’d all like to medal and at least be in the top three.”

2013 NCAA Division II Women’s Rowing Championships May 31-June 2 Eagle Creek Park Indianapolis

It was announced May 17 that UCSD will host the match between the No. 1 USA Women’s Volleyball team and No. 3 Japan, July 10 at RIMAC Arena. The United States, ranked first in the world by the International Volleyball Federation (FIVB), earned the silver medal in the 2012 Olympic Games. The third-ranked Japanese team earned the bronze medal.

UCSD will be the first stop to kick off the inaugural USA Volleyball Cup -- a tour aimed to draw attention to USA volleyball. The following day, the team will travel to Cal State Long Beach’s Water Pyramid and will end at JSerra High School in San Juan Capistrano. Tickets for the match between the United States and Japan are $20 for general admission and $5 for children 18 and under.

Friday, May 31 Varsity 8 Heat One (Barry, Central Oklahoma, UCSD): 8:10 a.m. Varsity 8 Heat Two (Mercyhurst, Nova Southeastern, Western Washington): 8:20 a.m. Saturday, June 1 Varsity 8 Repechage: 7:30 a.m. Sunday, June 2 Varsity 8 Petit Final: 6:40 a.m. Varsity 8 Grand Final: 6:50 a.m.

readers can contact RACHEL UDA

RUDa@ucsd.edu

PHOTO COURTESY OF USA VOLLEYBALL


12

T h e U C S D G U A R D I A N | T H U R S D A Y, M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 3 | w w w . ucsdguardian . o rg

SPORTS

contact the editor

RACHEL UDA sports@ucsdguardian.org

follow us @UCSD_sports

women's crew

The Sixth Seed No. 6 UCSD qualify for the NCAA Championships with the at-large bid. BY rachel uda

sports editor

photo by nolan

Significant Figures

13

13 feet separates No. 5 Nash Howe’s mark from No. 1 Cody Parker’s in the javelin.

thomas

8

The UCSD women’s crew varsity 8 team has earned a bid to the NCAA National Championships, competing May 31 to June 2 in Eagle Creek Park, Indiana.

1.5

Junior pole vaulter Clint Rosser has improved 1.5’ over the course of the season, recording at 14’9” on Feb. 16 and 16’3” (his NCAA qualifier) on May 11.

7

Last season, all seven of UCSD’s NCAA qualifiers earned All-America honors, placing in the top-8 in their respective events.

22

Sophomore Javelin thrower Nash Howe has improved his mark by over 22’ over the 2012–­2013 season.

F

or the first time since 2008, the UCSD women’s crew varsity eight boat has qualified for the NCAA Division II Women’s Rowing Championships. Nationals will be held at Eagle Creek Park in Indianapolis. No. 4 Central Oklahoma and No. 6 UCSD were the only two teams to receive an at-large bid to the tournament. The four other schools, winning their conference meets to receive the automatic qualifier, are No. 1 Barry, No. 7 Mercyhurst, No. 2 Nova Southeastern and No. 3 Western Washington. UCSD will compete in the first heat alongside Barry and Central Oklahoma next Friday, March 31, beginning at 8:10 a.m. The remaining three teams will compete in

the second heat at 8:20 a.m. The winners of the heats will compete in the Grand Final on Sunday, June 2. All other teams will race in the Repechage race on Saturday, June 1. “It’s gonna be hard, we’re gonna have to row our best race,” UCSD All-WIRA selection Ashley Travaglione said. “We have to be perfect, because the other teams are very fast. I think having Barry in the first heat is a good thing though, because they’ve been on fire recently.” UCSD has made four previous NCAA appearances — in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008. The Tritons were national See CREW, page 11

5

It’s been five seasons since the UCSD women’s crew team has sent a boat to the NCAA Division II Nationals.

13.24

13.24 seconds separated No. 5 UCSD’s Varsity 8 boat from No. 1 Barry in the Aberdeen Dad Vail Meet on May 11.

SLosh Ball

We May Have Lost the Game, but Won in Spirits PLAY IT AS IT LAYS rachel uda ruda@ucsd.edu

Koala take 77th installment of annual Guardian-Koala sloshball matchup.

T

here are a lot of terrible things about the day after Sun God — the headache, the hangover, cleaning vomit coming out of your kitchen sink. And yet, my least favorite thing is chipping in $20 for a keg of Miller High Life and dragging myself to a baseball diamond to honor a tradition whose origins and importance are no longer understood. Every year, the Guardian staff faces off against the now-mostly defunct Koala in a game of sloshball. Sloshball, for those who are unfamiliar, is a perversion of softball wherein in order to advance to home plate, one must down a beer at second base. But that’s not all. Unlike in softball, there’s no need for an umpire. All calls are open to challenge, the outcome decid-

ed upon with a drink-off at the keg. So what are the implications? Well, one need not have athletic ability or knowledge of the sport to win — good for a group in which the most commonly asked question of the day was “What is a force out?” Further, and more importantly, the team with the best drinkers always wins. Now, I won’t knock the Guardian’s ability to knock back a few beers, but when the lineup consists of five girls who weigh less than 120 pounds each and one Orthodox Jew who had to walk three miles to make the game (thanks, Shabbat), I think it’s reasonable to say that there were more than a few holes in the roster. Despite weaknesses going in, we remained close through the bottom of the first inning. The Koala won the drink-off and chose to bat first — a strategy born out of ignorance — challenging at the keg a handful of times to score six runs. In our turn at bat, we stacked the top of the order with the Guardian men — including the Guardian’s Most Valuable Player, fittingly, the columnist behind “Bro’s Eye View” (he went 6-0 in drink-offs) — and were able to load the bases. In what was arguably the most heroic act of the game, a Guardian Lifestyle editor beat

the throw at first, batted in two runs and was immediately sent to the keg on the challenge. The Lifestyle editor (5’8”, 130 pounds) embarrassed the Koala’s six-foot ringer from San Diego State, emptying his cup at twice the Koala pitcher’s pace. By the end of the first inning, we had closed the gap, but we were unable to generate anything else in the way of offense. With the Guardian outfield largely distracted by a black labrador straying out of the reach of its elderly owners, the Koala knocked in nine runs. With only two outs, an unnamed managing editor called for a boat race. In a United Nations-style negotiation, the Guardian editor called for five runs to the winner, but was bartered down to three runs and one out. The Guardian tasked the lead leg to former photo editor Andrew Oh (4-0 in drink-offs), followed by Arts and Entertainment Editor and former Editor-in-Chief Arielle Sallai, Lifestyle Editor Vincent Pham, myself, current Editorin-Chief Laira Martin, Managing Editor Zev Hurwitz and the Guardian MVP. Oh gave the Guardian an ample lead that had disappeared by the time it was my turn to drink. The Koala had a half-second lead at the See uda, page 11

photo by Laira Martin /Guardian


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.