RECOVERING FROM AN EATING DISORDER DURING CHRISTMAS TIME By Tara Gulwell Among the cheer and celebration at Christmas, the copious amounts of food can be overwhelming and difficult for many. Even years after recovering from my eating disorder (ED), Christmas is always a stressful time for me. The restrictive nature of family gatherings and lack of a controlled environment around food seemed unbearable during my early recovery. Without going into detail about challenging aspects of Christmas for triggering reasons, here are some coping strategies I’ve used. Even if you yourself haven’t suffered from an ED, please be aware of the triggering nature of Christmas to those who do or have. Creating a dialogue with loved ones. Understandably, family relationships may be difficult for those with ED at Christmas. It was difficult for me to talk openly about my struggles to my family, I felt guilty
for feeling so awful at the time of year in which we’re sold happiness so aggressively. But creating a strong support system around you is crucial. Of course this doesn’t have to be family, for most students Christmas is a great opportunity to re-connect with friends from home. Most importantly, social events don’t have to revolve around food! Going for walks to see the Christmas lights, the cinema, decorating, or just watching TV on the sofa together are all great things to distract yourself. While preparing for Christmas, I realised trying to create a dialogue with those I felt safe with was half the battle. It was important to have people around me aware of what I may find triggering about Christmas. It’s difficult, but for me discussing openly how people could avoid triggering things made the experience easier I feel. A friend also noted that they found it useful to talk to their family about particu-
lar “difficult foods” during recovery. Finding your own terminology or expression to communicate to your loved ones practical issues can be useful. Creating a comfortable and open environment about food can make family events much more enjoyable. And in turn these discussions help to break down the stigma surrounding eating disorders. Take pleasure in the small things. A great tip for life in general, indulge yourself in things you enjoy! Without advocating staying in your room for all of Christmas, definitely take some time for yourself. Rewatch Clueless, have a Harry Potter marathon, take long baths, listen to ‘Flawless’ by Beyoncé on repeat (daily if necessary). Sometimes it’s bringing small, enjoyable things to everyday life that makes things that little bit more bearable. To quote Parks & Rec’, treat yo self. Remember that Christmas will be over soon. The Christmas break for me in my recovery seemed to go on and on, but compared to the rest of the year, it’s a relatively short period. I tried to keep grounded and aware that no matter how stressful the time was, it couldn’t last. Keeping a yearly cal-
endar on my wall was great, it keeps the time in perspective and you can see future events to be excited about. Looking at Christmas as a small amount of time helped it seem more manageable to me. Most importantly, although recovery is difficult, it is possible. And it’s worth it. I hope all reading this have a good Christmas.
Supportive contacts: B-eat adult helpline: 0845 634 1414 NHS direct 08454647 The Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 Mind 0845 660163
VAGINA CUPCAKES By Asia Patel Over summer, I became friends on Facebook with one of our members. After chatting to her for a long time about Nicki Minaj, she told me that she had some ideas that she wondered if UEA FemSoc could help her with. So, term started and we met for a coffee and side of feminism. She explained that there was a foodbank in town which she did a lot of work for and that she’d like to do something to help. She continued to tell me more about the foodbank - that they didn’t just take food donations, but took toiletries as well. One thing that we identified as part of toiletries that would be important is sanitary products especially as they are unnecessarily expensive, taxed as a luxury item. As you may or may not be aware, a motion was recently passed in the last Union Council meeting to sell sanitary products for no profit from the
24th November 2014. UEA is now the first university in England to ditch the 5% tax on products required for something that all vagina owners will know not to be a luxury. So, I had a chat to the committee and another chat with the Women’s Officer and we wanted to do something. After many discussions and ideas, we decided to run a cake stall to raise money for toiletry donations to the foodbank. We also wanted some ‘samples’ of what people would be donating to so that people could really see what their cake purchase was going towards. On the 1st December, everything came together. I cycled into campus with more cakes than the British Bakeoff and our member came in with enough tampons to build a fort. It was really impressive to see the support that we
had from people both members of FemSoc and people who weren’t. In addition to the cakes and spreading awareness, we also ran a small chalkboard campaign where people were invited to share their reasons for supporting the foodbank and supporting the need for cheaper sanitary products. Some of my favourites included “Enough blood has been spilled already”, “periods are not a luxury” and “sanitary products should be free”.
We raised just over £80 from the stall, all of which will be going to toiletries and sanitary products for people who really need the support right now. In light of the Holiday spirit, I’d like to invite you to think about how you can help someone else out. Whilst you’re ripping into that present, or digging into that sprout, think about the needs of other people around you and how you can support them. After all, things aren’t going to get better until we move together.
ON TONE POLICING AND CHRISTMAS CHEER By Robyn Sands Most feminists are familiar with the concept of ‘tone policing’ or a ‘tone argument’. Tone policing happens most often when feminists express their (justified) anger at the state of society today and are told to ‘calm down’ or that they would ‘catch more flies with honey’. It’s a form of derailment that moves the focus of attention from the idea or sentiment being expressed to the manner of its expression and is used to shut down debate. Most people working within social emancipation movements are wary of tone policing each other and relaxed about handling strong expressions of feeling from others, but I feel that what is missing from this discourse is consideration of when our anger is appropriately directed.
‘civil’ manner actually addressed by society at large. In this sense our anger is necessary if we want to move forward. I’m also no advocate of any concept of ‘left unity’ and I believe that feminist infighting can be a useful way of ironing out creases and studying the nuances of feminism in order to reach a more inclusive and considered movement which pays respect to individual needs. But feminism can be a difficult movement to operate within because of the often personal nature of issues addressed and the understandable desire of many not to reduce an issue to its abstract form. Most feminists are likely also familiar with the term ‘feminist burnout’.
Feminist burnout is being told every day to get back in the kitchen just because Anger can be a powerful driving force you said you didn’t want to. It’s receiving when directed at those who would keep rape threats at three in the morning. It’s us in line and stop us from speaking out, lying in bed at night wondering if you and very rarely is a concern made in a really are just a selfish bitch like your ex
said you were, then getting up the next day to campaign about issues you still have unresolved trauma around. For many women, being a feminist is a daily grind of being told that your ideas about being a full, autonomous human deserving of respect are radical and undeserving of attention before reading today’s news about rising rates of domestic violence or the latest college rape case.
achieving our goals more likely.
Even before ‘Christmas’ northern Europe had a long tradition of festivities at this time of year to get us through the dark winter months, so over the holiday season I encourage all feminists to buy in to the cheery rhetoric and to consider not just their own anger, but the anger of others, and to treat each other with courtesy and respect. All feminists suffer for their activism on some level and femThere are those in society who want to inist arguments can become heated and invested with emotion very quickly, so if keep us down, who defend the status quo at all costs, and then there are those we know that the person we’re talking who want to help themselves and others to will be open to our ideas perhaps kindness and education will be a more and who are already on the path of aceffective tactic to consider before ditivism and education, even if they are ill recting anger towards those who would informed. Too often in cases like this I otherwise be our allies. If we support see anger directed where education each other we can reduce feminist burnwould be more useful, and this can shut out for everybody and have more strong down debate just as effectively as a tone and brilliant women on our front lines. argument. If we know that we are communicating with others who have our interests in mind and who are working towards the same goals as us, anger is unlikely to get us what we want, and while self care and expression of emotion is intrinsic to the health of the feminist movement, so is looking after each other and working together to make
Discussion group Tuesdays and Thursdays 5pm-7pm uea.feminism@gmail.com @UEA_Feminism http://www.ueafeminism.wordpress.com/ http://www.ueafeminism.tumblr.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/ uea.feminism/ Front cover and borders by Asia Patel. If you would also like to submit a piece for next month’s zine, please contact us using the details above!