Crescent Magazine October 2009

crescent University of Evansville

College Culture Upfront n October 2009

MAGAZINE

Gettin’ Lucky in KENTUCKY!

5 ⁄2 1

Ways to Disguise Your Walk of Shame

Coming Out

The first step is opening the door

A HEALTHY DEBATE Where do you stand?

Curious Cuisine: The good, the bad, the mullets BUSIER the BETTER Meet Zach Kanet: SGA Ombudsman $3.50

Diane Pottratz talks about laughter, life and love

Helicopter Parents BUZZING Around Campus

Help them land before you crash

Harlaxton College British Campus of the University of Evansville

Applications and course information now available for Fall 2010 and Spring 2011 Study Abroad Office • SOBA 261-263

is a proud sponsor of Women’s Soccer

Jazz by Day... today’s best music Top New Hits Mon–Sat (6–9p) the other side Rock, Indie Sun–Tue (6–9p)

party lights Hip-Hop, R&B Thrs–Sat (9p–2a)

Exclusive Home for Aces Athletics

Mirror Mirror On the Wall, Who has the best LinC photo of them all?

Underclass Photo Times Tuesday, Oct. 6 11 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Wednesday, Oct. 7 5 p.m. – 9 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 8 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.

No Appointment Necessary • Be a Part of the 2010 LinC

Ridgway Center Main Level

inside

OCTOBER.2009

10

The Busier, the Better

18

The Nicest Girl on Campus

20

Flying Solo

24

Coming Out

35

Curious Cuisine

20 feature story

“When people are having a bad day, I feel like it’s my fault. I take things too personally.”

—Zach Kanet, page 10

2

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

FEATURES Determined to leave UE a better place than he found it, junior Zach Kanet, this year’s ombudsman, enjoys sacrificing his time for you.

In our search to find the nicest girl on campus, we didn’t have to look very hard. Join us in uncovering the unknown facts about senior Diane Pottratz.

Helicopter parents touch down on campus daily. We’ll give you the tips and techniques on letting Mom and Dad down easy.

Discover the situation many GLBT students face when deciding to open the closet door and step out to the rest of their lives.

Past the sea of mullets, brain sandwiches and chocolate-covered bacon, take a step behind the scenes at the West Side Nut Club Fall Festival.

DEPARTMENTS 4 6 6 8 12 13 14 16 16 26 28 30 31 32 34 34 37 40

The Cubicle The Midwest Wing Campus Crime The Gauntlet Hidden Gems How to...

Wildcard Juicy vs. Janky Procrastination Station Beauty & Fashion Health & Fitness Sexplanation Cheap Dates Nightlife Eats Sidedish Give a Lit Schitzengiggles

MAGAZINE EDITORIAL

Writing Director: Peter Hanscom Writing Editor: Lauren Oliver Departments Editor: Josh Fletcher Literary Editor: Kristin Benzinger Assignment Editor: Jennifer Stinnett Columnists: Regan Campbell, Monica Krause, Greg Pulscher Contributing Writers: Josh Cleveland, Whitney Cohen, James Drury, Brennan Girdler, Alex Jackson, Mindy Kurtz, Megan Merley, Heather Powell, Amanda Squire, Rachel Solava, Lauren Williams, Kate Wood

Photo by Sunny Johnson/Crescent Magazine

crescent

CREATIVE Creative Director: Sylvia Seib Assistant Creative Director: Jamie Willhelm Photo Editor: Alaina Neal Designers: Jennifer McKee, Jessica Siddens, Amanda Topper, Pieter van Tongeren Illustrators: Bethany Barry, Courtney Hostetler Contributing Photographers: Sunny Johnson, Nicole Davenport

EDITING Editing Director: Allison Butler Copy Editors: Andrew Brandsasse, Rachel Hurley, Kirstin Yates

WEB SITE DESIGN & PRODUCTION (site currently under construction) Web Director: James Will Web Designers: Dan Latini, Suzy Maiers

78 63

66

30

43

40

49

23

20

65

55

47

free

7

54free

50 69 ee 5 fr 10 42 24 65 22 9 36 3312 518 9 13 2 39 15 20 44 12 17 14 20

16

1

7

2

B5

72

O G48 B75 2I N G4 N I 9 31 4324 6 167301 4031 5

11

Crescent Magazine is UE’s student magazine. It is written, edited and designed by students, and distributed seven times during the academic year. The magazine is funded through advertising revenue and a subscription fee paid on behalf of students by SGA. Circulation is 1,750. © 2009 Student Publications, University of Evansville.

Editorial Policy. Commentary expressed in unsigned editorial pieces represent a consensus opinion of Crescent Magazine’s Editorial Board. All other columns, articles and advertising are not necessarily the opinion of the Editorial Board or other members of the magazine’s staff.

Letter Submissions. E-mail your letters to crescentmagazine@evansville.edu and write “letter” in the subject line. Crescent Magazine welcomes letters from members of the UE community, but material the Editorial Board regards as libelous, malicious and/or obscene will not be published.

Letters should not exceed 400 words. For verification, letters must include the author’s name, year in school or title and e-mail address. Crescent Magazine will not print anonymous letters or those letters that cannot be verified. Letters may be edited for length, style, grammar and spelling.

They may also appear in Crescent Magazine’s online edition.

DON’T YOU DARE Drenched from being dunked, Dean Dana Clayton, vice president for Student Affairs, pleads with the students from the winning team, asking them not to hit the target that would send her back into the tank following the softball game at Cooper Stadium during Welcome Week.

BI NG 17 5 36 O 28 41 15 3

HOW TO CONTACT US: Address: Ridgway University Center, 1800 Lincoln Avenue, Evansville, Ind. 47722 Phone: (812) 488–2846 FAX: (812) 488–2224 E-mail: crescentmagazine@evansville.edu Marketing & Sales: (812) 488–2221 and 488–2223 Advertising E-mail: crescentadvertising@evansville.edu Printer: Mar-Kel Quick Print, Newburgh, Ind.

Peephole

1

MARKETING & SALES Marketing Director: Beth Samelak Advertising Sales Manager: Chris Watkins Advertising Design Manager: Melissa Weisman Sales Associate: Olivia Magdelinskas Advertising Designers: Tiffany Conroy, Sarah Powell Marketing Liaison: Emily Johnson

{ SURPRISE.

Despite the relentless advertising and promotion presented to campus last semester, we’ve still had questions as to where the newspaper went. Well, it’s gone. Finished.

Over. Done. Forever.

After recycling more than 1,000 copies of the newspaper each week, it was time for a change. You weren’t reading it, and quite frankly, we weren’t either. Let’s face it; the paper had become dull, obsolete and boring. We’re the exact opposite — at least we hope so. And don’t worry, we’re still carrying Campus Crime.

Our campus deserves better than the status quo, and that’s what we’re trying to deliver. Peace out newspaper.

Welcome to Crescent Magazine. We’re glad you picked us up. As a publication designed purely for students, we’re tackling issues once untouchable by the newspaper — and we’re proud of it.

We plan on crossing boundaries and bringing the taboos of campus to the forefront of the magazine. What’s the shame in writing about what the rest of campus is already talking about? After all, we’re students too.

Most of us have never worked for Student Publications, let alone stepped foot in the office, and now we find ourselves managing the operation. It’s been interesting to say the least. We’ve learned a lot, and we’re confident we’ve got a lot more to learn.

Our dedicated staff of 56 consists of writers, designers, photographers, writing editors, copy editors, illustrators, ad designers and the rest of the marketing and sales staff. Each member of the team plays a vital role in the creation of what you’re currently holding in your hands. We’re so proud of everyone’s hard work.

Planning for this issue started late last semester and continued throughout the ensuing weeks. Several of us returned weeks early from our summer vacations to prepare

4

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

} the office for the upcoming semester, and immediately began working on training, stories, design and most importantly advertising sales.

It’s important that as you flip through the pages to remember we’re a completely student-produced publication. Although we have an adviser, the content and design are all ours. If something about the magazine offends you — which it most likely will at some point — you only have us to blame.

Understand that the magazine is intended to contain something for everyone — and we mean everyone. Consider this your warning. We will write about anything we see fit.

In this month’s issue, our features were written to help students learn how to cope with overbearing parents, navigate the West Side Nut Club Fall Festival and come to terms with their sexuality, along with stories about students we’re convinced everyone on campus should know.

As for the rest, you can expect the standard departments included in most every other magazine, but in our opinion, we do them better. We hope you feel the same way. Learn about the hottest new trends in Beauty and Fashion, the latest developments in medicine from Health and Fitness, a hidden local Evansville restaurant in Eats or prepare for your next hot date by reading Nightlife or Cheap Dates.

But wait, there’s more. We’ve created our own departments, tailored specifically toward college culture. In Sexplanation, our resident sexpert takes an up-close look into all things sex. If you have problems focusing on homework, beware of Procrastination Station — where we list the most addicting and distracting web sites we’re obsessed with. Make sure to check out Janky vs.

Juicy to avoid being “that guy or girl” who everyone’s talking about.

If you’re in the mood to laugh, turn straight to the last page and read the humor column, Schitzengiggles. If you’re a more serious type, we recommend The Gauntlet,

where our columnists go head-to-head, battling over today’s hottest issues. Give a Lit offers students a chance to submit their literary work for publication and to read some really good short stories and poetry.

The Cubicle will be reserved for the magazine’s viewpoint on a host of issues affecting students today. We will tell you what we think and hopefully convince you that we’re right.

Finally, we are in the process of building a web site for the magazine. It will bring you what you see on the printed page, and a bit more so you can always be up-to-date on campus happenings.

There’s all this and much more, but if we tell you all about it, then you won’t have a reason to flip the pages. There’s only a little bit we have left to say. Pinky promise.

We hope that each issue will have a loosely structured theme, so you can make sense of what you’re reading. This month’s theme: Be yourself. If you don’t like who you are, change it. After all, we did. If you’re not comfortable with the person you’ve become, we can’t think of any better time to change than now. Why not? Life’s too short to be unhappy.

Let us be your temporary escape from the daily grind. Hopefully, this magazine can make you laugh, maybe even cry, but more importantly help you think about what’s going on in the world around you.

Thanks for giving us a shot. We promise not to disappoint. Enjoy. n Allison Butler Editing Director Peter Hanscom Writing Director Beth Samelak Marketing Director Sylvia Seib Creative Director James Will Web Director

sports

by Jennifer Stinnett

Spotlight On:

Ginta Gabruseva

Senior Ginta Gabruseva came all the way to UE from Riga, Latvia, to play volleyball and give the United States a second chance after a bad experience at Kansas State. Before long, this communication major and rightside hitter had captured the hearts of her teammates and classmates.

Crescent Magazine: Why do you love volleyball?

Gabruseva: I love it because whatever problems I have, I can go to practice and it takes away any pain I have. I love this sport, and I’m going to keep playing until my body says no.

CM: What is the most difficult part of playing volleyball?

GG: The practices. We run a lot. We sprint a lot. You have to do everything perfectly: pass perfectly, set perfectly. In practice, you sweat and you cry and you bang your knees and shoulders. So the practices are the hard part.

CM: What is the hardest thing about being a full-time student and an athlete?

GG: Managing my time and managing to eat and sleep. Basically, you’re so tired 24/7, both emotionally and physically, during the season. You have to have discipline.

CM: What has volleyball taught you?

GG: It has taught me how to work with a team and how to listen and take in whatever a coach tells me to do. I think this will help whenever I have job, because I know not to talk back. It’s taught me a lot of discipline and how to push myself.

CM: Who do you consider a role model?

GG: My sister. As a little girl, I looked up to her. If she did something, I wanted to do something and do it better. So when she started playing volleyball, I wanted to play two times better. But even though we are competitive, she is my biggest role model and influence in my life.

CM: What is the craziest thing you’ve done since you’ve been in the United States?

GG: One year for Christmas break, my

If she has a carefree Saturday morning, this Latvian would rather eat ice cream than do anything else

friends and I randomly went to Miami. We decided, and then a few hours later we were on the road. While we were there, I rode one of those sling-shot things that throws you up into the sky at 160 mph. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done. My heart was jumping, and I was shaking all over. But when it was over, I liked it.

CM: What is your favorite food?

GG: Candy.

Chocolate. You can do anything to me, but later if you bring me chocolate, we will be all right. Chocolate makes everybody happy.

CM: If you could go anywhere on a vacation, where would you go?

GG: I want to go somewhere with a perfect beach, white sand, palm trees and quiet nature. So yeah, where’s that? Hopefully, I’ll find it someday. Or I would love to visit my sister in Greece. It is beautiful.

CM: What do you plan to do after you graduate?

GG: In May 2010 I am going home to play on the Latvia National Team. Then I am going to try out in different countries so I can play volleyball on a professional level. I am going to be a professional athlete. It’s what I’ve always dreamed about because it’s what I love, and now it is going to be my job.

CM: Do you have any advice to give to student-athletes?

GG: Never give up on your dreams.

Work hard, be patient and just go for it. Make as many friends as possible because you never know when they can help you. n Photo by Alaina Berry

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

5

the midwest wing

by Peter Hanscom

M

any representatives to Student Congress remained unclear as to how the changes to the Constitution made last semester affect their organizations. Consequently, this and SGA president committee appointments became the focus of discussion as Congress reconvened Sept. 10 in Eykamp Hall for the 2009–10 academic year.

With more representatives in attendance than ever before, the amendment requiring every student organization to appoint a student to attend weekly Congress meetings went into effect. Essentially, if an organization does not follow this manadate, it will not be recognized as a registered campus organization or be eligible for funding.

But despite much discussion and promotion of the changes that were passed by Congress last spring, those in attendance were still confused and unhappy with the new requirements and how they work — some not willing to accept the changes.

“Why should I be required to come to Student Congress for my senior project?” senior Andy Richter asked.

Junior Amanda Lacey, chief executive, explained the changes, reminded representatives about the exemption process and

distributed a sign-up sheet for those interested in forfeiting their representation rights.

Following the meeting, she drafted additional correspondence.

In a letter presented to representatives at the Organization Training meeting Sept. 15–16, Lacey detailed the three options available.

Organizations could either elect a representative to participate in Congress, forfeit their representation and funding privileges by electing not to supply a representative or apply for an exemption, which does not require attendance at Congress but still allows for funding requests.

Lacey’s letter cited size of the organization, the pool for recruitment, ability to retain members and outside funding opportunities as potential factors that would guide the executive board’s decision as to whether a group would be granted an exemption.

Junior James Freeman, parliamentarian, reminded representatives filing for exemption status that they were required to submit an exemption application by Sept.

25 and attend a Sept. 27 exemption hearing with the executive board.

Lacey, Freeman, junior Cat Moore, vice

president, and senior Cortnye Stone, secretary, comprise the board.

Appointments to various committees sponsored by the SGA president’s office

behind the Sigma Phi Epsilon house. The student was referred to the vice president for student affairs for disciplinary action.

— A nonstudent was found in Hyde Hall using a UE computer. Evansville Police Department was contacted and the offender was arrested for criminal trespass.

Aug. 14 – Underage nonstudents were found on campus in possession of alcohol.

EPD was contacted and the students were released to their parents.

Aug. 19 – An MP3 player was stolen in Moore Hall. Loss of $300 reported.

Aug. 20 – Wooden letters were stolen from the sign in front of the Tau Kappa Epsilon house. Loss of $30 reported.

Aug. 25 – An underage nonstudent was found in possession of alcohol.

Aug. 26 – A laptop computer was stolen from an office in McCutchan Stadium.

Loss of $1,500 reported.

— A video camera was stolen from an office in McCutchan Stadium. Loss of $400 reported.

— A LCD projector was stolen from a Carson Center classroom. Loss of $900 reported.

Aug. 27 – A tapestry was stolen from a room in the Union wing of the School of Business Administration. Loss of $300 reported.

Aug. 28 – Student reported receiving several harassing telephone calls.

— Two underage nonstudents were found intoxicated in front of Brentano Hall.

EPD was contacted and the individuals were issued citations.

Aug. 29 – An underage nonstudent was found in possession of alcohol.

Aug. 30 – Three underage students

also took up a portion of the agenda at the Sept. 10 and 17 meetings.

President Joe Brown presented his presidential appointments at the Sept. 10 meeting. They were voted down, but later passed at the Sept. 17 meeting after the procedure for appointments was reviewed more thoroughly and candidates for the 11 committees were present to speak to representatives. Students appointed to the committees include: seniors Meredith Woehler, Jesse Miller, Adam Wolf, Sarah Ruthenburg, Anthony Pyanoe and Alyse DeSoto.

Junior Curtis Personett was the exception. Brown twice nominated Personett as Student Development Fund chair, but he failed to be confirmed. Those opposing the nomination said they did not believe Personett was motivated as a member of last

campus crime The following information was compiled from criminal offense reports filed Aug. 3– Sept. 15 in Safety and Security.

Aug. 3 – An unchained Huffy bike was stolen from in front of Koch Center. Loss of $30 reported.

Aug. 4 – A portable cooler was damaged in a Hughes Hall room.

— Caustic chemicals were poured on the carpet in a Hughes Hall room.

Aug. 5 – Glass was broken in the northwest door of McCutchan Stadium.

Aug. 12 – A toolbox, tools and copper wire were stolen from a vehicle parked in G-lot. Loss of $1,250 reported.

— A dark green bicycle was stolen from behind Moore Hall.

Aug. 13 – A student was found in possession of a cornhole game set stolen from

6

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

year’s committee, saying he seemed distant and uninterested during meetings.

Citing Personett’s previous committee experience as a plus, Brown defended his nominee and explained to those concerned about his apparent apathy as simply his style of humor.

“Sense of humor shouldn’t play a role in the position,” senior Seth Spencer said. “It should be all about business.”

There was no SDF chair as of Sept. 17, and representatives were concerned about the possible consequences because SDF funds cannot be distributed until the committee is formed and has a chair.

In other business, senior Matthew Krall, last year’s SGA vice president, introduced a resolution asking that his salary from last year be paid. He said he did not receive his salary because of a paperwork filing error.

“Could you explain what you did last year to deserve this money?” Freeman asked before the resolution was tabled.

Krall took a while to respond but said he hosted the Etiquette Dinner and worked with former SGA President Caresse Bucchan when needed.

Leadership Academy also solicited funds to help members attend a national conference, and the Homecoming Committee asked for additional funding to help with activities spanning the week of Nov. 2–7. Both requests were tabled according to procedure for two weeks. n

were found to have consumed alcohol in Moore Hall. They were referred to the vice president for Student Affairs for disciplinary action.

— Speakers were stolen from a vehicle parked in H-lot. Loss of $136 reported.

Sept. 3 – A portable hard drive was stolen from desk in Koch Center sometime between Aug. 17 and Sept. 3. Loss of $110 reported.

Sept. 13 – Indiana State Excise Police and EPD cited 89 students for minor consumption of alcohol at a party at 1669 Lincoln. The students were referred to the vice president for Student Affairs for disciplinary action.

Sept. 15 – A student reported being assaulted in a residence hall by a nonstudent. Following an investigation, the nonstudent was banned from campus.

Student Alumni Ambassadors SAA’s mission is to

• Provide students service and leadership opportunities • Build a foundation for future alumni leaders • Foster communication, awareness, and interaction between current students and alumni SAA is always looking for bright and energetic students interested in gaining additional insight into their field of interest, as well as connecting with involved UE alumni. If you are looking to become more involved with campus activities, then SAA is right for you!

To learn more about SAA or to join, please contact Katie Litmer, President at kl97.

University Worship at

NEU CHAPEL

Passionate. Engaging. Community.

EVERYONE WELCOME! 10:30 a.m. • Sunday Mornings

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

7

the gauntlet

A

HEALTHY Debate

Possibly the biggest issue of our generation, national health care reform has taken center stage in the political arena.

Can it be accomplished? Is it necessary?

And who has the better ideas?

HEALTH CARE REFORM: A HUMAN RIGHT

T

here should be no doubt — I support health care reform. The United Nations’ Declaration of Human Rights states, in part, that everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family.

Our government signed the declaration, mandating its responsibility to ensure citizens have care. n Monica Krause, The government cur- a senior international studies rently provides care for major from Fort some citizens — MediWayne, offers a care and Medicaid to liberal perspective the elderly and most of the poor, and insurance on issues. for children. No one is outraged over these programs, but some hate the idea of supplying health care to other adults. If taxpayers already pay for some coverage, why not expand it to all?

The hesitation comes from the reluc-

8

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

tance to care for the poor, who are almost criminalized in the minds of many Americans. The poor are blamed for being unemployed and criticized for spending habits — like buying Nike shoes for their children.

The irony is that middle and upper-class Americans go into debt and spoil their children as well, if not more so, but there is reluctance to give help to people who do not have insurance because adults are deemed to be at fault.

But that is not the whole story. U.S. Census Bureau statistics show that one in six people are uninsured in this country — and one in four of them are between the ages of 18 and 34.

Nearly 70 percent of those who are uninsured have one or more family members working full time, and more than 80 percent of uninsured workers have blue-collar jobs.

Minorities lack health care more than white people —12 percent of whites compared to 34 percent of Hispanics and 21 percent of African-Americans.

The majority of those lacking insurance are not lazy or living off the government.

Come graduation, one-fourth of UE students will be removed from their parents’ insurance in just one day. We are the ones needing health care reform.

With the present economic woes, it will be harder to find a job with benefits, so many will lack health care for a few more months — if not years. So what if the tiniest fraction of people who benefit from the government plan abuse the system? I know UE graduates will greatly benefit society, so I ask you not to sacrifice your peers for the sake of ending dependency.

Americans’ fears run rampant these days. The ones who are scared are those who have health care. The type of health care people should fear is the kind they may already have. There will be no death panels that decide who gets treatment, unless you are talking about the panels already working for insurance companies.

People fear rationing care, but it is already divvied up based on income. This is against the whole concept of human rights — that all people, regardless of age, income, health or social status, deserve equality.

a ruckus about helping people survive in the United States. n

CREATING A NEW ENTITY IS UNNECESSARY

P

Finally, people need to understand they will not be forced to give up their existing plan. If they’re happy with it, they can keep it, and the government’s plan will not affect them. Experts say the competition will actually drive costs down, making insurance more affordable for everyone.

One reason people oppose health care reform is fear of too much government involvement in their lives. This may be a concern, but people are dying from the lack of health care. The government’s goal is to protect the health and human rights of its citizens, whereas our current system is based on turning a profit. There is nothing humane about it.

In a better world, you could trust your government to manage funds wisely for social programs. In an even better world, government would not be necessary. It would be great if communities took care of each other, but this is not happening.

You do not love your neighbor by denying health care to 46 million of them. It is funny how few protested our tax dollars being spent to kill in Iraq, while they now raise

resident Lyndon Johnson created the Great Society and fought the War on Poverty, promising that the government would clean up the streets and create a beacon on the hill for families.

But the government’s meddling has not had the promised results. In 1960, out-ofwedlock births were 2 percent for whites and 22 percent for blacks. n Greg Pulscher, The rate grew slighta senior political science and legal ly 30 years later — to 25 studies major from percent and 70 percent Colorado Springs, respectively.

Colo., offers a No worries? The conservative point Great Society is not the of view on issues. only example of failed government policy. The U.S. Postal Service is now broke. Social Security, in existence for 75 years, is now broke — and probably won’t be available to this generation of young people.

Fannie May and Freddie Mac have had 70 years to get the system right, but they’ve helped create one of the worst economic setbacks in American history.

Medicaid and Medicare have been around for 45 years, and though now broke, are models for President Obama’s new health care proposal. America’s promise to grant Native Americans government-run health care has been a failure.

The stimulus package has shown no effect on the economy. In fact, no government-run program has been able to say it has achieved its goals on time — if at all — other than military or policing actions.

Now there’s a war against greedy insurers as the Obama administration tries to tackle health care. Most citizens agree the system needs fixing, but creating an entirely new entity is unnecessary.

While the health care debate is complex and controversial, I can explain what needs to be fixed in the current system, and the answer is not for the government to control 12 to 17 percent more of the economy — and

every person’s health care choices.

According to heritage.org, a public policy research group, government-controlled funds, as opposed to private funds, spent on personal health have grown dramatically over the years and now approach 50 percent. This means rising health care costs are not insurers’ fault.

The Health Care Freedom Coalition, a group of more than 50 partners with a vested interest in finding a solution to the nation’s health care problem, has a number of ideas to solve the issue.

One of the key solutions has to do with the sale of health care policies. According to the coalition’s web site, laws currently prohibit the sale of health insurance across state lines.

Opening up the borders to allow for the free flow of commerce would force insurance costs to decrease drastically. This idea would allow people more choices to find the perfect insurance plan for them.

Second, grant states control of this matter. Democrats will say this is a bad idea, but if each state can devise its own system of private and state options, it can meet its specific needs.

Third, eliminate government price controls. The price of health care is not the same in New York as it is in Idaho. Doctors also cannot charge those not on Medicaid or Medicare any differently than what they charge for those on the programs. Idahoans pay doctors as much as those who live in New York or California, even though the cost of living in Idaho is much cheaper.

If Americans want to continue on their path of excellence, we must look to the America of the 1920s and 1990s — when we were a land of free market capitalism, government policed fraud and resisted outrageous popular opinions.

This debate is not just about health care: It is about taking back the America that has slowly been eroding for years and is coming to a head with Obama thrusting his party’s issues on America.

President Ronald Reagan said, “A government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this Earth.” We need to take a look at the fundamental issue at hand. Once government has control of health care, there is no going back. n October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

9

SNAPSHOT

by Lauren Oliver

the the

Busier Better

S

Involvement energizes this young man as he redefines a seldom-used position meant to help other students solve problems and resolve conflicts.

GA’s new ombudsman sits on a couch in Ridgway Center waving to those passing by, all the while mutilating a set of plastic cutlery left on the table.

Though he is in the middle of an interview, he appears restless, but is quick with a smile and a word for those who stop to chat. It is obvious junior Zach Kanet is wellliked but is a man with things to do and places to be.

Involved in a number of campus organizations since being named Freshman Council president in the fall of 2007, Kanet’s latest position makes the most of his numerous campus connections.

The ombudsman, a confidential resource for students who acts as a liaison between students, faculty and staff, has been a little-utilized resource in recent years. Kanet hopes to change that.

Assuming the role of go-between as well as neutral spokesman, Kanet is the contact if a student is uncertain about the proper channels to work through when dealing with a problem. If students have concerns about a professor or administrator, they solicit Kanet for help — he reviews options with them and helps them reach a decision on solving disputes.

“I want to improve the student-to-faculty relationship,” he said. “[The ombudsman

10

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

is] not widely used, and we definitely want students to start using it.”

While Kanet may have things to learn about his new job, he is not the type to simply sit around and wait for instructions.

“He doesn’t like to follow in people’s footsteps,” said his sister, sophomore Sarah Kanet.

Kanet said as ombudsman, he is in a position to really help students; the driving force behind his interest in the job. He even admits to spending his “me time” focusing on others. Since the global business and marketing major spends his time outside of the classroom leading groups and helping others, letting people down isn’t an option.

“When people are having a bad day, I feel like it’s my fault,” he said. “I take things too personally.”

Kanet said he knew before he even arrived at UE that he wanted to be involved in campus life. And to say he is involved is an understatement. He is a member of the men’s swim team, Orientation Leaders, Lambda Chi Alpha, Students in Leadership, Leadership Academy and a number of other organizations he has trouble remembering without his planner in front of him. Not only is he a member of these groups, but he also holds leadership positions in most of them.

“I often wonder what keeps Zach going,” said Rachel Carpenter, assistant dean of

students. “He has a drive to see things improve. He’s competitive and wants to make things better than he finds them.”

He also claims to have cut back on his job at the Growth Alliance for Greater Evansville, a group that promotes the development of downtown, to have more personal time. But he rarely has any downtime.

Rather than pass up an opportunity, he agrees to most requests that come his way.

“He doesn’t say no,” Sarah said. “Somehow he figures out how to add it on.”

Making sure everyone knows he is a resource, along with understanding the ombudsman process, is important to him. Having been so involved since his freshman year, Kanet believes he knows the ins and outs of UE and can relate to those situations that affect students “Zach has the ability to treat people as individuals and treat each situation individually,” Carpenter said. “He doesn’t make assumptions.”

And while classes, a job and his campus involvements keep him busy, Kanet does have a quirky side, as shown by a Secret Santa gift he gave Carpenter his freshman year. The elf-like statue, with its red hat and permanent grin, still sits in her office today.

“Gnomes are a conversation piece,” he said of his gift. “If I see her 20 years down the road, she better have that gnome.” n

Photo by Sunny Johnson

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

11

8

off the wall

Drink OF THE Month Duck Fart

Don’t let the duck fart too many times or you’ll find yourself on the floor!

1 2 3

Urban Dictionary says the Duck Fart is a layered (not mixed) drink made of Kahlua, Bailey's Irish cream and Crown Royal (in that order, and ideally with just a float of Crown). It is to Alaska what the Mai-Tai is to Hawaii, and the Margarita is to Mexico.

1 ounce Kahlua 1 ounce Irish Cream 1/2 ounce Crown Royal From the bottom, layer the Kahlua, Irish Cream and Crown in that order. Enjoy.

Say What?

W

ord of the Month. . .

Itchycoo

“She said take a laxative and be a man.”

Larry Caldwell, professor of English

Best Make Out Spots 1. Study rooms in the libraries 2. Graves Hall’s slow elevator 3. Olmsted Hall’s fourth-floor bathroom

4. Shanklin Theatre 5. In a “Safe Ride” cab 6. Harlaxton 7. Echo Point 8. Morton and Brentano pit

NICEST

People on Campus

the 12

DONNIE DUNVILLE

Safety and Security’s super sergeant

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

5 6 7 8

Former willow tree between Powell Hall and Bower-Suhrheinrich Library — Long live all the fond memories of

that poor willow tree.

Piss City, also known as the fraternities’ parking lot — Have you ever wondered why their permits are yellow?

Dirt parking lot behind the Hazeart apartments — If you ever hear noises outside your back door, it would really be best not to look.

Lincoln Avenue UE sign — It’s private and the perfect place for those that just can’t hold it any longer.

The fire hydrant on Rotherwood Avenue — Why let just the neighborhood dogs have all the fun?

In the Carson Center Pool — Come on, we couldn’t leave that one out. You know it happens.

The Front Oval tree — Yes, and we all love that funky tree. Maybe that’s why it’s grown such a weird way.

Your pants — Really, though, haven’t we all at some point in time?

EVERY O DOES NE IT

SARAH ADAMS

Need something fixed? He’s your man.

BILL WOEHLER

4

Places We Know People H a v e Peed

Ace’s Place really patient worker

TERESA HESSON

Brentano Hall’s diligent housekeeper

BRANDON GAUDIN WUEV’s smilin’ general manager

• The cool women’s lounge-like bathroom on the first floor of Olmsted Hall — Sorry, no guys allowed.

• Guest rooms in the residence halls — They’re cheap and convenient.

• The Interfaith Prayer Room in Neu Chapel — A nice little spot on campus for reflection and contemplation.

• The Multimedia Center in Graves Hall — A laminator, printers, computers and arts-and-crafts type things. And it isn’t just for education majors.

• The ATM in Ridgway — If you can find it tucked away on the second floor, you can take money out just to go spend it at Jazzman’s Cafe.

• Movie and music rentals in the BowerSuhrheinrich Library — Procrastination central, plus it doesn’t cost.

Creepiest

Spots on Campus

WORD STREET ON THE

SUE TOWER

Ridgway-after-Dark is her territory

GARY RIGLEY

It’s about 10 a.m. You’re quickly trying to cut across campus before anyone sees you sporting last night’s party wear. Suddenly a friend cuts you off and asks, “Weren’t you wearing that last night?” Drat. You’ve been caught.

In the event you should be stuck in this sticky situation again, you have options. You can always check out walkofshamekit.com and pay $35 to hide your shameful walk, but since we’re students, you might want to try one of our helpful hints instead.

• Lost and found at Safety and Security — Sure, the office is way across campus, but you can always get your stuff back this way without paying for it at Security’s annual auction.

Admission’s factgenerating machine

1. Olmsted Hall’s fourth-floor bathroom — Really…blue?

2. The Tunnels — Not that anyone has ever tried to get in…

3. The Hazeart Apartments — Really, how old are those apartments anyway? You can tell us.

4. Hyde Hall Basement — No windows and solid cement walls makes for a really creepy atmosphere.

5. Stairwell near the Foreign Language Lab in Clifford Library — There’s a perfectly good door to use, yet UE insists on blocking off the exit. What’s up with that?

6. Rotherwood Avenue — Doesn’t the city believe in streetlights?

7. Armory Parking Lot — Again, no streetlights, but to top it off, there are broken windows in the building to really set the mood.

Disguise Your

Walk Shame

• Racquetball courts in the Fitness Center — Just another opportunity to procrastinate, but you can also get a workout in this way.

The

BRITNEY SPEARS will be performing in Eykamp Hall ...tomorrow.

5

1 ⁄ 2 Ways to OF

Things You Didn’t Know Existed on Campus

ONE

1. FIND LESS-TRAVELED ROUTES HOME Stay away from streets that directly border campus. Try Lincoln Park Drive, for example.

TWO

2. SET YOUR PHONE ALARM EARLY TO LEAVE BEFORE ANYONE WAKES UP Between 5:30 and 6 a.m. should be a

good time to wake up, since this is when people have just gone into their first REM cycle after passing out.

THREE FOUR 3. PRETEND YOU GOT UP EARLY TO EXERCISE

As if you didn’t burn enough blessed calories last night...

4. HAVE A FRIEND JOIN YOU ON YOUR LITTLE WALK

They’ve been telling us since we arrived at UE to use the buddy system. Well, here’s your chance because everything is better in groups.

FIVE

5. CALL SAFE RIDE

1⁄2

It’s free, (812) 492–0000.

1/2 PUT ON YOUR LEFT SHOE

Do we really need to explain?

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

13

wildcard A time-honored tradition for Halloween is the scary movie marathon, but with the surplus of outright awful movies lining the shelves, it can be hard to pick a good one. Sometimes, the bad ones are the best choice. Senior Sarah Underwood, Cult Film Society president, said the group has a number of favorites and shared their top five.

Cult Film Society’s Top 5

1. H.P. LOVECRAFT’S RE-ANIMATOR •

An equal mix of funny, weird, sick and scary; many regard this movie as a classic among classics. “It’s a good ‘80s sex-and-violence fest,” Underwood said.

2. THE EVIL DEAD TRILOGY •

Because you can’t watch just the first one.

3. IMPRINT •

It may be more of a short film than a feature, but Takashi Miike’s gory, psychologically-driven vision isn’t for the faint of heart.

4. THE ORPHANAGE • Produced by Guillermo del Toro and directed by Juan Antonio Bayona, this film falls more into the category of drama than horror. Still, it’s a beautiful story, brilliantly acted and artfully filmed.

5. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD • Originally released in 1968, this Cold War gem is best viewed in a small group rather than a large crowd. It remains a classic and still holds true today by being both frightening and unintentionally funny. n

by Megan Merley & Heather Powell

The Art of Disguise Trashy vs. Classy It happens every year just around the end of September. The seasonal aisles in stores turn orange and black, and Halloween costumes are displayed for everyone either to cringe over or adore.

More and more people these days are cringing — and for good reason.

Apparently the only costume options are cliches, or cliches made sexy with the addition of a short petticoat or a pair of fishnets.

No one cares how short your skirt is, because there is no such thing as a sexy bumblebee.

Halloween is all about fun and self-expression, but if you’re interested in expressing more of your assets and less of your ass, here are a few ideas. n

On the Cheap For those of you without a lot of cash but loads of spirit, never fear. All it takes is a little time, a little wit and a trip to a dollar store to make your Halloween a memorable one.

Robo-You Retro-inspired looks are everywhere this year. Why not incorporate that into your partying? Get some silver glitter, a few nuts and bolts, some spirit gum to stick them to you and you’ve got an instant robot. For an even more lowtech option, draw on a cardboard box.

Take a Cue from Nature Try stepping beyond the done-to-death fairy princess. Dress up as your favorite animal, keeping in mind that you are not, and hopefully never will be, a Playboy Bunny. Try something a little unconventional, like a vibrant peacock or a fox. Stick a red felt diamond on the back of a black dress and ta-da — you’re a black widow, you clever thing you. For guys with a darker sense of humor, a bald cap and a black suit with a white feather collar makes you an instant conversation piece as the buzzard at the back of the room.

Pun-tastic Voyage We all know puns are corny, but that is the point. Don’t be afraid to release your inner dork. Tie yourself and your bed sheets together with two other friends and you’re “three sheets to the wind.” Black out one eye, draw a “p” on your shirt, and you’re a black-eyed pea. The possibilities are endless.

Candy Connoisseu While dressBUBBLEGUM SKULLS (ARCOR) ing up is fun, the This cranium-shaped bubble gum real reason you is not for the faint of heart. It looks went trick-or-treatlike a shrunken head and stains ing as a child was your tongue black. for the candy. It still exists, not to menFLUFFY STUFF SPIDER WEB tion hoards you’ve COTTON CANDY (CHARMS) probably never tried The bright white spun sugar looks harmless, before, and it’s as but the flavor is actually sour apple. This is a creepy as ever. good candy for the sour-craving crowd.

14

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

Cheaper Thrills

Welcome U of E Students 20% off all meal selections

Too often, Halloween is lost in a sea of projects and papers. The days of dressup and free candy are over. But if you want more to do this Halloween than watching “Saw V,” try some of these alternatives.

GREY LADY GHOST TOURS

Pay a visit to Evansville’s ghost, the Grey Lady, who haunts Willard Library, 21 First Avenue. First spotted in the 1930s, she has become a local legend.

Free, guided tours are offered from Oct. 22–30, taking guests to the places where she’s rumored to appear. Register at willard.lib.in.us.

after 4 p.m. Monday–Friday & all day Saturday and Sunday (must present UE ID when ordering)

Fall Hours 102 W. Franklin Street • Evansville • 812–424–1416

9:30 a.m.–10 p.m. Mon.–Thurs.

9:30 a.m.–11 p.m. Fri. & Sat. 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Sun.

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

The cult classic, set for 11 p.m. Oct. 2 at Mesker Amphitheatre, is a rock musical infused with horror and sci-fi themes that attracts a lively audience. A costume contest featuring awards for the “Hottest Thing Since Fire,” “Most Likely to be Mistaken for a Transvestite” and “Fishnet King and Queen” encourages guests to dress as their favorite character. Tickets are $7 the day of the show.

CHEAPER TREATS

If you want to trick or treat, here is a fun twist. Try reverse trick-or-treating.

People love getting free stuff, but standing in your dorm room or house hoping someone stops by isn’t much fun. Dressing up and going out to give candy away can be.

urs

!"

Alpha Omicron Pi HEALTHY TREATS SOUR STRING NUGGETS (FLORIDA’S NATURAL BRAND)

For the calorie conscious, this fruit-juiced based treat tastes like actual fruit so you can have something delicious without the guilt.

BOO BRACELETS (BEE) Don’t let these brightly colored accessories fool you — they taste like a mixture of perfume and chalk. They’re better left on your wrist and away from your mouth.

would like to welcome its new members

Student Activities Board

t r o p s Pas to Fun Your

CONGRATS New Member Class of 2009!

Welcome to the

PANDAMONIUM!

Providing social and recreational activities for all UE students all year!

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

15

y k n JVSa Juicy Dot Com procrastination station

YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF OTHER magazines’ attempt to compare the sexy and the not-so-sexy, the classy and the class-less, but here at UE we have our own standards. Read on to see what crosses the line that divides Janky vs. Juicy.

JANKY: Fast Eddy’s “Thong Thursday” — scantily-clad women plus cheap drinks don’t equal the woman you want to take home to mom.

Are you hearing us girls?

JUICY: The Fox & Hound’s “Tuesday $2 Pint Night” — you can use all of your $2 bills and have a good time doing so.

••• JANKY: Really short shorts with that obnoxious writing on the back. Yes, we see your butt. No, we don’t need to read it, too.

JUICY: Equally short shorts sans the writing. Enough attention is already there when the shorts are short enough.

••• JANKY: Men’s fitted T-shirts that are three sizes too small. Do you really think you can make your muscles look bigger by making your shirt smaller?

JUICY: V-neck T-shirts. It shows off a nice physique while still giving men the ability to tactfully show off those muscles.

••• JANKY: P-poppin’ — Purely classless.

JUICY: Dancing with no wall.

Need we say more?

16

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

by Rachel Solava

DIVERSIONS

Web sites help you spend your time on anything but homework

O

pening Internet Explorer, your fingers race across the keys before your mind can truly process why you opened the screen in the first place.

But now Facebook is loaded and you are immersed in status updates and wall posts.

Before long, 23 minutes have passed and you haven’t even opened a Word document to start your paper or checked Blackboard for that blasted assignment due tomorrow.

Plus, you still need to read your e-mail and look at the newest posts on YouTube, Twitter and FMyLife.

The Internet has fostered our homework diversion tactics, and our procrastination has reached new levels. Innovative web sites are created every day to engage, distract and amuse us, all while keeping assignments at bay.

AWKWARDFAMILYPHOTOS.COM

Mildly embarrassing family portraits cannot compare to the astonishing photos submitted to this site. A family brandishing their crossbows or another hiding behind cornstalks are popular examples, but other submissions cross the line into bizarre, such as two ninjas holding an infant, or a nude couple posing in a Wild West backdrop.

WEFEELFINE.ORG

For a more emotional experience and interactive distraction, WeFeelFine.org provides about 20,000 new blog excerpts every day for viewers to read. The site has been harvesting feelings from a wide range of blogs since August 2005.

Every 10 minutes the system searches blogs around the world containing “I feel” or “I am feeling.” It then records the sentence and logs it, along with information about the author — such as age, gender, geographic location and even the weather conditions when it was posted.

When all the data is logged, the feelings

can be viewed in six different interfaces, each emphasizing a different characteristic of the population.

The first interface, called Madness, consists of a myriad of colored particles flying across the screen, each symbolizing a different feeling.

Clicking the particle reveals a person’s feelings, and some even include an accompanying picture. So while a 22-year-old woman is excited about going for a run in New York, a 31-year-old man in London is disappointed because it’s raining.

The blogs can range in topic from hamburgers to Bible verses; likewise, the tone and mood of the blogs can widely vary.

This collection of serious, silly and sexual feelings puts a fresh spin on blogging. It captivates amateur users, turning them into frequent visitors of the site — perhaps to the point of checking it as religiously as Facebook and Twitter.

GARFIELDMINUSGARFIELD.NET

At first, removing Garfield from his self-titled comic strip seems like a ludicrous idea, but the amusing look into the life of Jon Arbuckle, Garfield’s owner, only becomes clear by subtracting the main character.

The edited comics depict Jon talking to himself, revealing a rather boring, isolated and depressing life. We laugh at his misfortune when a potential girlfriend rejects him over the phone, or when he stays home on a Friday night to play the accordion with his feet.

With Garfield and Odie stripped away, Jon is often left staring into space in the last two frames. Who knew removing the lazy, lasagna-loving cat would change the meaning of a simple comic so significantly?

In fact, some fans claim the revised versions are funnier than the original; so just scroll through one more page — homework can wait another five minutes. n

Congratulations

Zeta Tau Alpha Pledge Class

2009

Home of the Original Stromboli!

We de l to UEiv* er !

cation: New Loer of Corn d Ave. & Diamon wn g Strin to

Welcome Back U of E Students! * $8.00 minimum order required for delivery * $2.00 delivery charge Pizza King • 1033 S. Weinbach • Evansville • Next to Hardee’s • (812) 476–4941 MONTHLY SPECIAL

FOOTBALL SPECIAL

3 Strombolis & a 2 Liter (Choose from Regular, Hot Ham & Cheese, Texas BBQ or Veggie) No coupon necessary. Not valid with any other offer.

2 Strombolis

Deluxe & Chicken Extra One Coupon Per Visit • Expires 12/15/09 Must mention coupon when ordering. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts.

Evansville & Newburgh

14″ 2-Topping Pizza & Breadsticks No coupon necessary. Not valid with any other offer.

14″ Pizza

1 or more topping One Coupon Per Visit • Expires 12/15/09 Must mention coupon when ordering. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts.

Evansville & Newburgh

Whole

Stromboli

One Coupon Per Visit • Expires 12/15/09 Must mention coupon when ordering. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts.

Evansville & Newburgh

99

%

of UE students

say that when on a date, they

prefer their date not drink, drink moderately or stay in control.

Fall 2007 Social Norms Survey

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

17

COVER STORY

by Jennifer Stinnett

to Pho eal aN

lain

A by

h T

u o Y l r i G t es

c i eN

Everybody’s favorite girl on eating ostrich, finding adventures and figuring out what community really means

18

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

w o n K S ome

things at UE are very consistent. There will be an SAB movie on Thursdays, World Cultures will be hated — no matter what it's called — and on Sunday mornings if you are at Neu Chapel, you will get a hug from senior Diane Pottratz — no matter how many pews she has to climb over to get to you.

“I think the chapel is a safe space,” she said.

“And I love being a part of it. Especially on those days when you say ‘the world outside is spinning, but I need to be here.’”

But a lot more went into that hug than you probably realize: a lot of experiences, people and communities that each taught her a little bit about life and, lot more about who she wants to be — someone who is learning how to love you and help you in whatever way she can.

From two trips to Africa, two summers on an Indian reservation in Montana and a summer taking

high school students kayaking down the St. Croix River in Minnesota, Pottratz has experienced a lot more than most 21-year-olds.

“All of her experiences, like going to Africa and the reservation, have given her more wisdom and more experience when interacting with people,” senior Sarah Davis said. “She’s definitely not your typical college student.”

Davis first met Pottratz their freshman year when Davis walked into the Hughes Hall laundry room to find Pottratz sitting in her laundry basket talking and laughing with people — like hanging out in your laundry basket is normal.

“I definitely thought she was a little strange,” Davis said.

But that was the beginning of Davis and Pottratz’s friendship, which has included many road trips, well thought out pranks and hiding in laundry baskets, which seems to be a reoccurring theme.

“I love her spontaneity, which leads to all our random adventures and her willingness to jump right into things,” Davis said.

“Her honesty and her love of life are just contagious.”

Pottratz said she first really started to fall in love with life at 16 during her first trip to Africa, when she went to Tanzania for two weeks with her church.

“It was defining in a lot of ways then,” she said. “The amount of joy these people felt was seen in the way they worshipped together and lived together. It was stunning.

They all seemed to live by this motto: ‘Live smiling; life is fun. Even when things are difficult, let’s just grab each other’s hand and get through this.’”

It was after this trip that Pottratz knew she wanted to go to seminary, but when her freshman year rolled around, she decided to become a nursing major.

“I was terrified of being a religion major,” she said. “I’d always wanted to be a doctor, and it was a job security thing.”

But before long, she realized the nursing program was not where she needed be, so she switched over and became a religion and sociology double major.

“She’s incredibly smart,” senior Rachel Neer said. “And she’s so good at describing and explaining what she has learned to others.”

But rather than explaining things to others, Pottratz usually prefers just listening to people.

“If you give people space, they’ll talk,” she said. “They’ll tell stories and, big or small, I love stories.”

Being an international student made her realize how difficult being in a completely foreign culture could be, so when she got back to campus, she joined the International Orientation Leaders to help international students figure out their way around campus and adjust to American culture.

“I realized that being an international student is hard,” she said. “And that sometimes all you need is someone to smile at you to give you confidence.”

And evidently she did a pretty good job.

“She was great,” junior Jasmin Paniagua said. “She handled her job very well. She would always volunteer to be a driver to the airport or to Wal-Mart. She would be with students at Wal-Mart late every night, but she never complained.”

And now she’s back on campus, and if you need her, you’ll be able to find her running around barefoot in the chapel every Sunday morning. She’s not sure want she wants to do next, but she’s excited about whatever it is.

“Life is beautiful,” she said. “It’s hard, and it’s challenging; but that’s why we have each other: to help each other figure this life thing out.” n

She said that was the main thing she learned working as a River Guide at a Bible camp on the St. Croix River, where she worked with teenagers every day.

“I also learned that wet wood really doesn’t start,” she said. “I know people always tell you that, but it’s so true.”

Pottratz’s next two summers were spent at a Crow Indian reservation in Montana called Lodge Grass, where she helped with the youth groups who would come on mission trips. Her heart was with the community she was surrounded by every day, and her face still lit up when she talked about it.

“They really just accepted me into the community,” she said. “We just lived our lives together, and while it doesn’t sound exciting, it was the best thing in the world.”

Since living in a community is something Pottratz believes in strongly, she wanted to find somewhere to study abroad where she could really experience a new culture by just living in it.

1. She hates wearin g shoes and She ended up studying in avoids them much as po as ssible.

South Africa the spring of her ju2. She is terrified of Halloween, an nior year, where she got to ride makes he d that kind of r dislike the m

an ostrich, bungee jump the highonth of Octob 3. She once put toot er. hpaste into he est point in South Africa and eat Oreos to r roommates’ get back at th

an ostrich — not the same one. em fo r sc Hallowee aring her on n.

“It was really gross,” she 4. She can make w said. “It was really chewy, but affles for mor e than a hund people in red less than 30 I’m not sure if all ostrich tastes minutes.

5.

One of her favorite snac this way or if this one was just ks is kiwi frui 6. She hates ice crea t pizza. undercooked.” m.

7. Her college nick But her favorite memories name has be come “the religious from South Africa are more life girl.”

8.

Giraffes are about the things she learned 9. She can makehear favorite animals. than about what she did. toothbrush ou t of a green twig — no “I learned a lot about the t that she reco mmends it.

10. Her favorite Fall sameness of people and how Break involved golf at a playing mini- to ask questions,” she said.

54–hole Bibl e-themed cour se.

“I also learned that it’s OK to say what I think.”

10

Random Facts about Dian e

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

19

FEATURE STORY

Look, in the sky. It’s a bird. It’s a plane — oh wait, it’s just your mom. You might have left your parents at home, but for some students, Mom and Dad are having a hard time letting go.

20

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

Illustrations by Courtney Hostetler

Flying

by Peter Hanscom

B

SOLO

elieve it or not, UE does not offer wake-up calls to its students.

This recent inquiry joins a long list of requests received by UE from parents. You may be shocked to know that requests like this are not all that uncommon, especially for the parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s life.

This atypical breed of mothers and fathers, nicknamed “helicopter parents,” has a strong presence on campuses nationwide, and UE is no exception.

Often believing their student is not equipped to make mature decisions, helicopter parents come to the rescue — or at least they think they do.

But, colleges don’t have nanny services for a reason, and the time has come for students to make sure their parents take the “Baby on Board” sticker out of the minivan window and wake up to the realities of having a college-age child.

College administrators started using the term “helicopter parents” in the early 2000s. It exists in two forms: Where parents feel the need to solve problems the student may have, and when parents are unable to deny any request from their student who still expects to be taken care of.

Usually stemming from a high level of involvement throughout their child’s life, hovering parents are also unable to cope with the thought of not having constant contact with, or access to, their child.

Dean Dana Clayton, vice president for Student Affairs, said the biggest fear for those parents — the ones who have planned every element of their child’s life since birth — is finding out their child wants to make everyday decisions themselves.

To satisfy the craving for involvement, some parents take extreme measures to insert themselves into the life of their student, and if the behavior doesn’t change, it can — and many times does —

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

21

continue well after the student graduates.

Stories circulate on campus about parents who have gone so far as to schedule their student’s job interviews, doctor’s visits and yearbook portrait appointments.

Some have complained to professors about grades, and even accompanied their children to work. In one case, a parent actually attempted to negotiate her son’s salary for a job.

So, what does a student do if Mom or Dad is having trouble letting go? Sometimes the adjustment to college requires educating the parent, too.

Helicopter parents mean well, but the effects can be disastrous. Sylvia Buck, director of Counseling Services, encourages parents to let her office know about current issues a student may be facing, but offers a reminder that she has a responsibility to the student to maintain confidentiality.

“It’s often more about helping the parent than the student,” she said.

A mother herself, Buck admits to being taken aback when parents call to request that her office oversee such things as a student’s medications, even offering stories about how they used to set it out with

their child’s breakfast in the morning.

In situations like these, she advises students to thank parents for their input, but tell them directly how they are able to tackle these issues themselves.

Since technology has advanced in recent years, students are communicating with their parents in more ways than ever before.

As a result, students should not be shocked to find an e-mail announcing a Facebook or Twitter request from Mom or Dad, though nothing says they have to accept those requests.

The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the increase of helicopter parenting. One third of students surveyed in a recent College Parents of America study admitted to talking on the phone with a parent at least once a day.

Today’s generation of parents, many of whom are obsessed with safety and supervision, grew accustomed to constant communication as they kept tabs on their adolescent children. Now they’re finding it a

ARE YOUR PARENTS HOVERING? No

Maybe

Yes

Move-in Day

They toss you the keys and say, “Hit the road Jack.”

They stick around for three hours — even after you’re done unpacking.

After moving you in, they move in to their new Montclair apartment.

Failed Your First Test

They shrug it off and tell you, “It’s not the end of the world; just don’t let it happen again.”

Your study habits and fondness for fraternity parties are called into question.

A phone call is placed to the professor demanding a retake.

First Boyfriend or Girlfriend

You’re asked when he or she is coming home to visit.

He or she is Facebook friended by both Mom and Dad.

They request an immediate meeting — the minute their plane lands tomorrow.

Going Greek

“We’re happy you found a home away from home.”

They call the Greek adviser to make sure you’ve made a good decision.

They show up at the first meeting to ask if they can be in your pledge class, too.

First Visit Home

They let you know it’s OK if you would rather hang out with your friends from home.

You spend six hours going through photos and stories about your new friends.

You’re asked to transfer to a community college closer to home.

22

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

hard habit to break. The bottom line: receiving multiple text messages, a Facebook wall post and a tweet from a parent within a 24hour period is simply unacceptable.

Getting them to stop is the tough part.

Buck recommends being kind — but direct — in making parents aware it is not customary for parents to be in constant contact with, or have daily control over, their college-age child.

Another strategy to curtail the awkward parental phone call — where the student can barely muster up the energy to sound mildly interested in the conversation — is deciding on a set time to talk each week.

Clayton explains that this strategy ensures that each party will be expecting the call, will be interested in the conversation and will have information to share.

“Parents are on a learning curve, too,” she said.

Trends indicate that if a parent phones the school once, they will most likely be a repeat caller.

USA Today reports the National Survey of Student Engagement found nearly 40 percent of freshmen have had a parent or guardian intervene to solve a problem at college, with about 13 percent saying the interventions were frequent.

Brian Conner, assistant director of Residence Life, gets his fair share of calls from angry parents — usually complaining about the condition of a student’s residence, and many times without first notifying their child.

“Sometimes [parents] call in ranting, and all you can do is sit back and listen,” he said. “I see some names pop up on my call-

er ID and I think, ‘Oh no.’”

There are certainly times when advocating on behalf of a student is appropriate, but teaching parents that it is best to let students mature and take responsibility for themselves is a better way to go.

Clayton tries to educate parents during SOAR on the harmful effects of helicopter parenting, and describes to them how their relationship with their child will change now that they have entered college.

She reminds parents that students usually only have the college experience once in their life, adding that UE encourages them to take advantage of all the opportunities afforded them while in school.

“College is the only supportive environment that intentionally provides significant freedoms,” she said. “I always start off by asking them what kind of person they want their student to be in four years.”

Grounding the helicopter is rarely easy.

After all, most parents have spent their adult lives caring for their children and don’t want any harm to come their way.

The use of obscenities, public humiliation or threats isn’t recommended. Instead, let them down easy. Telling Mom, “My life is none of your business,” will certainly worsen the situation and will only give her more reason to hover.

Students can start by thanking their parents for all they have done in the past, yet reminding them they need experience in handling their own problems directly.

Remember, parents come from a place of love and concern, but like any habit, it is hard to break.

Freshmen are more likely to experience the effects of helicopter parenting during the first few months of the year. Buck said the number of calls to UE drops dramatically after Fall Break as most parents come to realize their child has adjusted well.

So, if your hair is still rustling in a breeze created by a hovering parent, relax. Chances are it will be over soon. But if it’s not, try to teach your parents some new behaviors.

Remember, helicopter parents are genuine in their intentions, but if you continue to take advantage of their unhealthy willingness to serve you, then prepare to face the possibly irreversible effects.

If you grow up, chances are your parents will, too. The best parents, as the saying goes, give their child two things: roots and wings. Now it’s just a matter of trying to convince them of this. n October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

23

COMING OUT

by Josh Fletcher

Coming to terms with your sexuality helps you to accept that closets are for clothes, not people

C

ramped and trapped, you feel alone, as if you’re in a cave. Your mouth tightens and your voice cracks, catching as you speak. Surrounded by walls you built yourself, you fear rejection from friends and family. You are isolated and keep the closet door closed.

Every non-heterosexual student has experienced these feelings at some point in time. On top of being overwhelmed with the transition from high school to college, many students, especially gay and lesbian, have the added stress of coming to terms with their sexuality.

Who can they talk to about their feelings? Will they fit in on campus? Is UE a safe place to explore one’s sexual orientation?

Coming out refers to the lifelong process of accepting and telling others you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Since there are few times in anyone’s life where starting over is an option, coming to college gives students the chance to be who they are, act the way they want and discover what it means to be true to one’s self.

“College puts students in a questioning

24

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

place,” said Lora Becker, assistant professor of psychology, “so it is only appropriate for students to use this time to explore their sexuality, too.”

As homosexual students contemplate the possible repercussions of coming out, there may be sighs of relief and moments of bone-jarring emotional pain. The process of learning to be a more honest and open person is not easy, but the benefits exceed the drawbacks.

“Even though your world can be turned upside down, at the end of the road the selfconfidence you gain from being your true self is amazing,” Becker said tearfully.

Junior Wil Fernandez said he always knew he was gay, but chose to ignore his feelings prior to his freshman year.

“Alaska is a conservative area, and I only knew one gay person at my high school,” he said. “The pieces didn’t come together until I was on my own and miles away from home.”

Through his journey to self-discovery, he realized how much he loved his family, but was unsure their unconditional love would

continue after he admitted he was gay — something many homosexuals experience.

Preparing for the worst, Fernandez told his parents he was gay during their visit to campus in the fall of his sophomore year.

“To my biggest surprise,” he said, “I was returned with a hug and a simple statement: ‘We love you.’”

Many GLBT and questioning students are afraid of rejection. They have been told for years they should act, dress and love a certain way.

Wally Paynter, president of Tri-State Alliance, a local nonprofit social service and educational organization that serves gays, lesbians and bisexuals in southern Indiana, remembers an incident during his time as a student at UE in the mid-1980s when a gay couple’s door in Hale Hall was set on fire.

The school paid for the men to live off campus rather than deal with what was seen by many to be an unacceptable lifestyle.

He said that while gay rights and acceptance have come a long way since he was a student, the threat of being scorned for being gay is still a reality.

Photo by Sunny Johnson

“College students in particular are more worried about how their roommates, professors and peers will accept their lifestyle,” he said.

Sexual orientation isn’t openly discussed in junior Alyssa Newswanger’s conservative hometown in northern Indiana. Coming out there wasn’t even an option in her mind.

During a Welcome Week session, though, Newswanger learned of a group on campus called PRIDE. After attending several meetings, she felt safe to openly discuss sexual orientation — including her own — and became more comfortable with herself.

“I probably wouldn’t have come out at a more conservative campus,” she said. “My confidence continued to grow every week at PRIDE, and I felt empowered to tell my parents…I was bisexual. I guess you could say UE opened my closet door.”

Although some of her family and close friends know she is bisexual, Newswanger admitted she has not told everyone.

“I guess this article will set the story straight — or not so straight,” she chuckled.

There are national organizations dedicated to GLBT causes. TSA is one of several local organizations serving the community, while PRIDE is making a difference in many students’ lives on campus. Started in 1999, PRIDE stands for People Respecting Individual Diversity Everywhere.

“The purpose of PRIDE is to create a safe outlet for GLBT students and their straight allies to discuss issues on campus and in the community,” said Kevin Gray, assistant professor of sociology and criminal justice and PRIDE co-adviser.

He said members participate in several annual events, raise money for local charities and help students gain a better understanding of sexuality.

While PRIDE provides an invaluable support network and has helped members to gain a better understanding of themselves, there are other fears that are not so easy to dismiss. Becker said one of the fears students have is the potential loss of a relationship with their faith or religious community.

“Having your life referred to as an abomination is not something most people take lightly,” she said. “Instead of teaching love and acceptance, many religious groups are teaching hate and exclusion.”

Chaplain Tammy Gieselman admits the Bible has been used to promote specific agendas, but she wants to refute those agen-

das and establish her office as a safe-zone for GLBT students.

“My office is a place where students should feel comfortable talking without fear of being judged,” she said. “Along with the United Methodist discipline, I believe all persons are of sacred worth, regardless of their sexual orientation.”

Through experiences with a variety of people and more contextual biblical studies, Gieselman said she realized God’s love does not stop because of a person’s sexual preference.

“The Bible is a gift and should never be used to promote hatred,” she said. “Seems pretty simple to me.”

The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, a sexual orientation law and public policy think tank, estimates there are 8.8 million gay, lesbian and bisexual people in the United States — based on the 2005–06 American Community Survey, an extension of the U.S. Census.

Aside from individual worries, GLBT people also have fears and misunderstandings concerning their own community. Subcultures are notoriously labeled by the stereotypes relegated by their communities, and the GLBT community is no exception.

And we’ve heard them all — gay men are promiscuous, lesbians hate men and bisexuals are sex fiends. These misconceptions are just that — misconceptions that don’t apply to all gays, lesbians and bisexuals.

“I was afraid I would feel pressured to fit in with the gay community,” Fernandez said. “I learned quickly, however, that the gay community had a wide spectrum of people, and I only had to be myself.”

Whether someone has been out for years or is presently dealing with the coming out struggle, UE is a safe place to explore sexuality. With an endless number of resources, students are urged to express themselves in healthy ways.

“From what I hear from students, campus seems to be a pretty safe-zone,” Gray said. “I haven’t heard of harassment issues.”

Newswanger and Fernandez also believe campus is a safe place for homosexuals; safe enough for same-sex couples to hold hands, although many choose not to show such personal displays of affection.

Ultimately, it is up to the individual as to when and where he or she will come out.

But accepting who you are and sharing with others about the real you is an important

part of growing up and living one’s life.

“If being with a man makes you happy, be with him,” Fernandez said. “If being with a woman makes you happy, be with her.

Your happiness matters, despite what others try to tell you.”

And with a devilish grin, he remembered a time several years ago when he had his first same-sex kiss.

“We were in his room and it just happened,” Fernandez said. “That’s all I needed; it sealed the deal.” n SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER • Don’t come out in a fit of rage. Trying to hurt someone by coming out will get you nowhere. If you ever want support, you should wait until both of you are ready to talk openly.

• Don’t come out in a text message. It might be the easier way to share your news, but the person you’re telling is important to you or you wouldn’t be telling them. Give them the respect you want them to give you.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to go through this process alone. Talk with other GLBT people, a counselor, a clergy member or a close friend. The support you gain will help you gain the courage you need.

• Don’t be pressured. This is a big step. Do it on your own terms.

• Come out to yourself first. Being comfortable with yourself is the most important part of the process.

• Fully understand what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

It is important you are prepared to breakdown the misconceptions since the person you are coming out to may not have any prior knowledge.

• Test the waters. Listen to what others are saying when issues are brought up. If they are positive, they are more likely to be accepting — if not, they need more information to help them and, ultimately, to help you.

• Decide if the timing is right. Shouting you’re a lesbian at your nephew’s bar mitzvah or in the middle of a chapter meeting may not give you successful results.

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

25

beauty & fashion

by Alex Jackson & Amanda Squire

Confessions of a UE Shopaholic Shopping is usually at the top of any woman’s list of favorite things to do; but for some, it’s a specialty

f

aN

lain

yA eal

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

to b

26

the eyes because they make you glow. “If you’re glowing in the face and smiling, you are sure to be noticed,” she emphasized.

There is a belief behind every fashion fact that Torres lives by: “If I look good, I feel good, therefore, I act good.”

To complete her budget ensemble, Torres buys what she loves and admits, “I’m a compulsive shopaholic.” n

Pho

rom Vegas schoolgirl to UE’s fashionista, sophomore Rochelle Torres knows how to accentuate — not re-create.

At her private Las Vegas high school, the dress code was khaki bottoms and patriotic Polos, but after graduation it was time to hide those items in the back of her closet. Once a part of the college scene, Torres found a cure for her restricted fashion style through retail shopping therapy.

Regularly wearing a uniform changed how she views fashion choices today. With the right accessories and an individual but thrifty style, it’s no surprise she’s this issue’s “Best Dressed Person On Campus.”

“It’s all about being comfortable in your own skin,” Torres said.

She is able to create an ensemble on a budget that makes her feel good by mixing new pieces with vintage classics.

“I’m one of those people that shop thrifty,” she said.

A frequent shopper at Saver’s, a store similar to Goodwill, Torres looks for the unusual. She shops for bigger-sized dresses so she can accentuate them with accessories.

To perfect any dress, she simply adds a belt to scrunch the waistline and throws on some sandals to complete the outfit.

“It’s important to remember, especially when being thrifty, that nothing looks good on the rack,” she explained.

While students may have the urge to splurge, it is important to remember to budget. Celebrity icons are starting their own affordable clothing lines. Max Azria, CEO and designer of BCBGMAXAZRIAGROUP, paired with Miley Cyrus to launch her first fashion line. Wal-Mart carries the casual wear, and prices start at $6.

Rue 21 and TJ Maxx are two other stores in Evansville where you can bargain hunt.

Located on the Lloyd Expressway near Burkhardt Road, these stores are just minutes from campus.

Whether it’s being thrifty, using coupons or shopping online, students can still look great on a budget. Torres proves that.

She said when it comes to shopping, it’s all about confidence since people have a tendency to obsess about their appearance.

“There’s clothing out there for everyone; wear things because they are what you like,” she said.

Clothing can be an expression of your personality. Torres said the biggest misconception people make about her is that she puts a lot of time into what she wears.

“I never lay out my outfit the night before,” she said. “I feel better about myself if I get ready in five minutes and peace out.”

Torres describes her style as casual sexy, and is usually inspired by history.

“If I were from another decade, it would totally be the 1980s,” she explains.

Even though she is not a fan of that era’s use of neon, Torres still appreciates other elements of the decade.

“Modern ‘80s” is how Torres characterizes her clothing choices today, since casual colors and off-the-shoulder tees seem to creep into her wardrobe.

“I’m not a trendsetter because trends float around too much,” she said. “I feel a trendsetter is trying to create a new era, and I consider myself to be inspiring.”

Being fashionable is about taking risks. Everyone has mishaps, but it’s worth experimenting. “I’ve made a lot of fashion mistakes, too,” Torres admits.

But remember — it’s OK to take chances, because no one is perfect, and the complete look always includes makeup.

“The whole point in makeup is to accentuate, not re-create,” Torres explains.

Blush and mascara are two essentials in completing her look. Torres believes you should focus on

{Rochelle’s Fashion Essentials} Dress: Urban Outfitters “Every girl needs a little black dress,” Torres says. She decided to take this classic concept and turn it around. Her favorite black dress includes a chic flower print from Urban Outfitters. The Bohemian inspired dresses are fall favorites. A good place to look for this type of item is Wet Seal.

Favorite Jeans: Pepe Paris (from Nordstrom’s) Rochelle’s favorite jeans are Pepe Paris. They can be found at Nordstrom’s. To complete your closet this fall, try a pair of acid wash jeans. You can find these jeans at department stores in boot cut and straight leg.

Necklace: Butterfly Farm in the Philippines This fall, you can’t go wrong with nature inspired jewelry. Keep an eye out for butterflies, leaves and “the Tree of Life” wear. Painted wood and wooden beads are a must to complete your look for this fall. Torres received her necklace from a butterfly farm in the Philippines as a gift from her uncle.

Black Heels: Payless Black is the ultimate color that matches virtually everything. You can wear black heels to almost any occasion. Similar to Torres, peep toe heels are perfect for the fall season. Torres purchased her favorite pair at Payless, which carries all the current styles for fall.

Makeup: To complete your look, remember Rochelle’s words of fashion wisdom: “Accentuate, not recreate.”

The perfect way to accentuate your look this fall is to stay focused on the eyes.

To get the look for this fall, try these four eye styles brought to you by Sephora: Extremely smoky eye, gray eye, the cat eye and candy-colored eye shadow. According to E.L.F., you can create the smoky eye by wetting your eye shadow brush when applying eye shadow for a stronger and darker color.

Similar to the smoky eye, gray eyes can be perfected by blending the darkest shadow into the creases of your eyes. Sephora says to create the purr-fect eye, use liquid eyeliner and swipe a thin line along the upper lash line and wing it out at the end.

Finally, the candy-colored eye shadow is worn correctly when covering the entire eye. These pastel colors will lighten up your eyes. To complete the ideal eye, Rochelle suggests a new product by Maybelline — Pulse Perfection by Define-ALash Vibrating Mascara — which hit the stores this summer. n

NOT YOUR

typical elf A new web site, e.l.f. — eyes lips face — is providing customers with affordable beauty products starting at $1. These prices make it the perfect place to shop on a budget.

Products expand beyond the eyes, lips and face. At eyeslipsface.com you can also find nail, mineral and bath and body products.

At e.l.f. you can buy predesigned kits or customize your own in three easy and simple steps.

STEP 1:

Select the bag of your choice, with five available styles.

STEP 2:

Now that you have selected your bag, explore your options to load it.

You can pick from eyes, lips, face, nails, brushes, tools and more to design your look.

STEP 3:

Complete your order. The site accepts PayPal and most major credit cards. Purchases can be shipped directly to you.

In addition to affordable products, e.l.f. provides a “Beauty Secret of the Week,” as well as beauty secrets for eyes, lips and face and more than 140 miscellaneous quick tips.

The site is easy to use, giving customers different options to sort products. Bath and body products can be sorted by fragrance or category. Mineral makeup, which is featured on the site along with a complete description and its benefits, can be sorted by product or skin tone.

When shopping on a budget, remember that e.l.f. offers great quality at affordable prices. The company has been featured in magazines such as Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan and Seventeen, and on CNN. n

A fun fact about e.l.f. —

it uses recyclable packaging for its all-natural mineral products. The company believes beautifying yourself and the world is a beautiful thing.

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

27

health & fitness

What you really need to know about

A

s sluggish students enter the Health Center feeling tired and ill, they absentmindedly reach for the pen to sign-in. They are nicely stopped and asked to use the hand sanitizer first.

With hand sanitizer in almost every office, students may wonder if the threat of H1N1 — Swine Flu — is being embellished.

Everyone has seen the flyers posted in virtually every bathroom on campus informing the public on how to prevent the spread of the H1N1 virus with proper hand washing.

What this flyer doesn’t say may be the most important piece of information.

“Healthy kids with healthy immune systems are the ones getting hit with the virus,” said Director Becky Ziliak, R.N. Unlike the typical flu that predominately affects older people, H1N1 is affecting those our age.

Most students don’t think twice about using a public computer keyboard or touching a door handle. These are key places for contamination.

“Our age bracket doesn’t take things as seriously as they should,” said senior Phil

Winternheimer, a nursing major who will assist with distributing vaccines on campus later this month.

H1N1 is spread through human contact.

The virus is especially infectious because it is contagious up to 24 hours before symptoms occur.

“Don’t underestimate what this [virus] can do,” Winterheimer said.

He compared it to the Pandemic of 1918, where millions around the world died from the outbreak. “Prevention is our best defense,” Ziliak said.

And prevention is as simple as clean, cover and contain. Washing hands with soapy warm water for at least 20 seconds, or using hand sanitizer, can make a huge impact. Preventing the spread of the virus is as easy as covering coughs and sneezes with a tissue.

UE’s custodial company, WFF Facility Services, has armed campus with virus-killing cleaners, but this does not eliminate the potential for spreading the virus.

“It comes down to the responsibility of everyone,” said Dean Dana Clayton, vice president for Student Affairs.

Ziliak encourages all students to visit the

by Lauren Williams

H1N1

center if they are feeling sick. If a student is coughing and sneezing, has a sore throat, a fever above 100 degrees and feels achy, they should be tested for H1N1.

“Each test costs $11 and will be charged to the student’s account,” Clayton said.

The Health Center also has Tamiflu, an antiviral medication that helps alleviate symptoms if used within the first 48 hours of infection. Ziliak also noted that the regular flu shot does not protect against H1N1.

The H1N1 vaccine will be available later this month. Nursing students are working with the center and Vanderburgh County Health Department to distribute the vaccine on campus. All students are strongly encouraged to get vaccinated and it is free.

Winternheimer said the vaccinations would be given in a variety of campus locations over the course of several days. He said it is important for students to come back for the second dose.

“You need both shots to develop immunity,” Ziliak said.

Students will remain isolated until 24 hours after their fever has broken without the help of medication — usually 5–7 days. n

A Stimulus Plan Did that $4 Taco Bell meal you just ate give you an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Lucky for you, the relief you need from this, and many other ailments, is only $4, too.

New generic drug programs available at many pharmacies are helping people afford their medications, but the small price tags raise questions: How do these programs work? How can these drugs be so cheap? Are they still safe to use?

Medicines under these programs vary, and range anywhere from allergy and asthma medications to vitamins and antibiotics.

Ailing students can usually find what they need in one of the programs. Most of the drugs come in 30-day supplies for about $4. Some can also be bought in 90-day supplies for about $10.

That brings up: How can retailers sell these drugs so cheap-

28

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

ly? The simple answer is that these drugs are all generic versions of the name brands. The government provides a 20-year exclusivity patent on a new medication to the company who developed it.

After the patent expires, generic drug companies are allowed to produce copies of the drug.

That leaves: Are these drugs as safe and effective as their name-brand counterparts? According to the Food and Drug Administration, they are. The FDA requires generic drugs to meet all the same safety standards and benefits that name-brand drugs do.

In fact, most generic drugs have nearly identical ingredients, differing only slightly in their inactive ones. Appearance is usually the only difference, and that is due to copyright laws that do not permit them to look the same as their name-brand counterparts.

These programs are not always the answer to your medication needs. Some drugs are still under their patents and cannot yet be made into generics. But if all you need is something to get you out of the bathroom after that bad Burrito Supreme, the generic drug program may be just what you need. n —James Drury

by James Drury

If you don’t pick up your copy of the 2009 LinC, you’re really gonna wish you had.....

No Space?

No Problem What do towels, laundry detergent and that crossbar under your bed have in common? Well, if used with a little creativity, these common items can help solve your problem when it comes to exercise space.

Everyone can easily do basic push-ups, crunches and dips in their limited space, but here are a few ideas to add some variety to a workout.

To lose the fat, you have to build the muscle. Start your workout with some lunges and squats to work the lower body. Once you’ve really let those thighs burn, move on to your upper body.

Don’t have free weights or time to go to the Fitness Center? Try doing bicep and tricep curls with your laundry detergent bottle.

If you are looking for something more challenging, step on one end of your bath towel and use it as a resistance band for your shoulders and upper arms.

A more preferable method of exercise for some is to work arms and shoulders by doing dips with chairs. If your residence hall comes equipped with rolling chairs, you can still do dips on the rungs of your bed frame by sitting on the chair, putting your hands behind you, stepping forward and dipping.

As a bonus for lofting your bed, you can do pull-ups on the cross support underneath it. You may have to tuck your legs, but it should still give you the workout you want.

Working your muscles is great, but you have to include cardio in your routine if you want to stay fit. If you are low on space, try jumping jacks, or even running in place.

A great way to get a good cardio workout is with a jump rope. If you don’t have one, or your ceiling is too low to use it, you can always do the motions without the rope. Another great way to work in cardio is to run the stairs of your residence hall.

These tips and ideas will work, but only if you use them. The key to staying fit is to stop making excuses — like not having enough space in your room — and to find something that works for you.

Now that you know how to get the most out of your workout — even in your cramped room — go grab your laundry detergent and start exercising. n

and considering you’ve already paid for it.....

Student Publications • Ridgway • Second Floor

Attention Winter Graduates All Your Preparation for Graduation in One Place

Commencement Central 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Wednesday, October 21 Ridgway Center Lobby

Registrar’s Office, Bookstore— Order announcements and cap and gown, Alumni Association, Senior Gift and Career Services

FREE

Delivery to UE’s Campus!

1924 E. Morgan Ave. • Evansville, IN 47711 • 425–4422

Student-Alumni Mentoring Program 2009 – 2010

Mentor Speaker Luncheon Series October: Community Networking

MARTHA SEAL ‘03, M‘05, M.P.S.A.

Join us for a luncheon to hear UE alumni and PIEE Partners share their Career & Professional Experiences

Marketing Coordinator Ivy Tech Community College

Noon – 1 p.m. • October 15 • Eykamp 253, RUC Lunch will be provided with an RSVP by noon the Monday prior to the luncheon.

RSVP to da34@evansville.edu. If you have any questions regarding the Mentoring Program, please contact Career Services at x1083 or email lw8@evansville.edu October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

29

sexplanation

A natural part of

SEXUAL HEALTH Masturbation. People get skittish when the subject comes up, but researchers agree that just about everyone does it.

While many see masturbation as dirty, most of the medical community agrees that it is a healthy part of sexuality. Aside from the physical gratifications, it can also help release stress and improve relationships between sexual partners.

Myths surrounding masturbation are long-standing, but masturbation has likely been practiced since the beginning of time.

Anthropologists have discovered cave paintings dating back to ancient Mesopotamia that resemble some form of masturbation.

Regardless of what anyone may think, lots of people masturbate and aren’t ashamed to admit it. While it is generally accepted that many boys begin masturbating in their teens since erections begin happening automatically, girls have not been encouraged to explore their bodies in the same way.

Some believe masturbation is the most important sexual skill a female should learn, as it frequently holds the key to enjoying other forms of sexual activity.

According to Planned Parenthood, seven out of 10 adult men — and more than half of adult women — masturbate. While masturbation primarily starts in early youth, it usually continues throughout adulthood. Unfortunately, many women go their whole lives without trying it.

Some people find it appealing to use sex aids for added pleasure. Popular aids for women include dildos and vibrators, which come in various shapes, sizes and materials, and can be used in a variety of ways.

30

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

by Josh Fletcher

Most adult fantasy stores also include a full section of prostate massagers and masturbators for men — toys to enhance the penis during masturbation.

Experts say there really is no correct way to masturbate. Some women feel they should be able to reach orgasm using a certain tech-

nique because they hear other women do it that way, but each woman’s anatomy is different — and her psychological makeup is a lot different. This results in every woman masturbating differently.

One of the perks of masturbating is that there is no risk of pregnancy or spreading sexually transmitted diseases. Mutual masturbation — masturbating with a partner — is also considered a safer alternative to oral, vaginal and anal sex.

Planned Parenthood also says that people who masturbate have a better sense of their bodies and are more likely to care about their sexual health. The self-exploration allows the person to determine what touch they like and how to reach orgasm.

Knowing what makes you orgasm can help aid your partner in creating a better sexual experience for the both of you. Plus, doctors from the Cleveland Clinic agree that masturbation is not a problem unless it interferes with everyday life.

Masturbating will not make you go blind or stunt your growth, but it will help you relax and become a better sex partner. n

Steve’s Auto & Truck Repair Specialist in Major Engine Repair • Foreign & Domestic Cars & Trucks

1511 E. Virginia • 1.5 miles from UE • 429–0119

Car Trouble? We can fix that!

We Install Engines and Transmissions

Complete Diagnostics •Air Conditioning •R 134A Retrofitting

•Carburetor •Fuel Injection

•Clutches •Brakes

•CV Joints

All Work Guaranteed Local & Trustworthy

PHI MU would like to welcome its lovely

new members

Phi Class ‘09

If it’s Friday at UE, then it’s Purple Friday.

Wear your best PURPLE every Friday!

You never know when the Purple Patrol will strike.

UE Alumni Association and Student Alumni Ambassadors

cheap dates

BIO NGO G N 41 66 B I B 17 36 72 2 I 7 1 7 4 3 N 16 748 28 54 5 5

7

13

19

20

22

31

30

48 7 5 43 6 2

free

Illu

str

at

io

n

by

Co

ur

tne

G

yH

os

tet

ler

50 7 12 2 free 40 301 1 3 9 0 6 0 3 343 42 2 15 14 24 69 31 46 0 12 4 1 7 16 1 39 515 65 62 2 59 59 5 89 65 free 4 23 20 36 67 50 11 44 44 75 70 60

by Mindy Kurtz & Kate Wood 61

O

From the young to the old, Audubon Bingo Hall is anything but your grandma’s Sunday bingo

Gettin’ Lucky in

Kentucky

“BINGO!” Shouts echo through the giant, linoleumfloored building as a woman shoots her hand into the air in a fit of excitement.

“We have a bingo ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer’s booming voice exclaims over the public announcement system.

Groans sound from all corners of the room as daubers are set down, sheets are torn in half and good luck charms are at a loss for credibility.

While this doesn’t really seem like a typical hot spot for students, one may be surprised at how addicting the Audubon Bingo Hall can be.

Nestled on the outskirts of Henderson, Ky., at 2959 U.S. Highway 41, the bingo hall attracts quite a crowd every week. From the hardcore bingo players to people who aren’t quite sure what they’re doing, everyone can have a good time playing bingo.

Although you expect diversity on a college campus, you don’t expect the same to

be true on the bingo hall — which is usually packed with people of different races, genders, ages and skill levels.

For some people, bingo has become more than a routine. Joney Lutz and her sister Judy Moore have been playing bingo together for five years.

“It’s just luck of course,” Lutz said with a smirk when Moore referred to her recent winnings.

But some people would beg to differ.

Scattered around the bingo hall are people who dive headfirst into superstition with daubers to match their card color. Some even arrange family photos in what appear to be eerie shrines.

One woman went so far as to place porcelain figurines around her card, ritually touching them all before a game began. Unless you consider yourself adventurous, seats by these patrons are better left untouched.

Don’t get the idea that only older people

are at the bingo hall. While you couldn’t go as far to say the place was hip, it’s not just people walking around who may have had one replaced.

One young couple in particular stood out against the crowd. Misty Collins and Charles “Chip” Davis brought a youthful glow into the building. When asked why they chose to spend their Wednesday night playing bingo instead of renting a movie or eating out, they said that bingo was something to keep them entertained, and it went beyond their usual routine.

The cream and burgundy colored bingo hall is the size of a large high school cafeteria. Plastic plants adorn the dividers that separate the entrance area from the bingo floor. The floor is divided into two sections: smoking and nonsmoking.

Games take place on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons.

Bingo sheets are reasonably priced between $3 and $7.

The bingo hall offers an Early Bird special where cards cost $1 and gives the winner an opportunity to win a grand prize of $300 — more money than what could be won in a typical bingo game.

Other special games take place throughout the night, such as jackpots and pull-tabs.

Even better, money raised throughout the week is donated to The Central Learning Center, an alternative school located in Henderson. The bingo hall is completely run by those from the school; even Ryan Reusch, principal of The Learning Center, works the floor as a volunteer.

When asked about his school, Reusch was more than happy to elaborate.

“The school is for those from kindergarten to 12th grade,” he said. “We take kids who have a hard time being in large groups, whether they are distracted or intimidated, and put them in smaller environments.

We’ve had kids go on to be in college or even the military. With all the money from our profits, we are more than able to give our students a great experience.”

So from the smiling volunteers to eccentric women with good luck daubers and pictures of their grandchildren, the bingo hall is a great place to have fun without breaking your budget.

If you ever find yourself in Henderson with an open schedule, give Audubon Bingo Hall a chance, because you may be the next lucky winner. n October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

31

nightlife

by Josh Cleveland & Brennan Girdler

A Night at

Boney June’s Finding a good time can be pretty daunting for students, especially for those under 21. But there’s a place in Evansville that may just appeal to those whose 21st birthday still feels eons away.

S

ituated comfortably at 5525 Pearl Drive between a sub shop and a maternity clinic is a little-known music venue called Boney June’s.

The venue has been in business for roughly two years and has hosted a wide variety of bands: local legends like Breathe Electric and Count Your Blessings, to better known artists such as Aiden, Never Shout Never and Jeffree Star.

At any given concert, Boney June’s may house between 100 and 700 fans, frothing at the mouth over their beloved icons.

Chris Boone, the club’s owner, said Boney June’s attracts customers from as far as Louisville, Chicago and St. Louis, depending on who’s playing. The largest demographic the venue attracts are those age 13 to 18, mostly female. Boone said he wishes to extend his customer base to include 18 to 21 year olds, and he’s working on booking more independent bands that appeal to college students.

Boone also plans on setting up a regular independent film showcase in hopes of attracting a more mature crowd.

“This is the best music venue in Evansville,” said Paul Osburn, a frequent performer at Boney June’s, who also attends USI. “It is good for both big and small bands, and a wide variety of bands come here. I would definitely recommend this place.”

From the outside, Boney June’s appears to be just a void in a strip mall. On the inside, it is a concrete-walled Mecca for those not concerned with decoration. The impressive stage takes up half of the room, flanked by rows of colored spotlights and stacks of massive amplifiers. Despite the venue’s modest size, the room is quickly filled with a torrent of noise. The only refreshments offered at Boney June’s are Monsters and a few off-brand soft drinks.

The crowd changes depending on who’s playing — and that’s the key to whether you will enjoy going there. Just make sure to check their concert calendar on MySpace to see which artist is playing, unless you want to end up being a foot taller and a couple years older than everyone else in the crowd.

Upcoming October concerts include Attack Attack! and the Black Dahlia Murder. n

For those under 21

Tonight’s the Night!

OXYGEN NIGHTCLUB

Oxygen gives a new definition to nightlife. Its sheer size is impressive, giving you plenty of room to get your groove on. If you’re looking for more than DJs and hip-hop, Oxygen has plenty of pool tables, dartboards and pinball machines to keep you interested. There’s a full bar for those 21 and older, and a $6 cover charge no matter what age you are. 1000 North Park Drive • 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays • myspace.com/officialoxygen

WALTHER’S GOLF AND FUN

If you find yourself more on the sober, hyper side of life, Walther’s is the perfect play place for you.

Equipped with indoor and outdoor miniature golf, laser tag and an arcade, this funland will let your inner child out for a while. It’s a great place to escape hectic student life, even if it’s only for an evening. 2301 N. First Avenue (at the corner of First and Diamond avenues) • Open until 11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays • golfnfun.com

PIZZERY & BREWERY 4 N. Weinbach • 477–7500 408 N. Main • 424–9871

Sick of all the

REGULAR CUISINE? Get some pizza or Italian salad and

BREAK THE ROUTINE!

DOWNTOWN RIVERWALK

If you’re looking for something a little more low-key, grab a cup of coffee and take a walk downtown along the Ohio River. This scenic park is good if you’re looking for somewhere subtly romantic or just a place to chill and hang out with your friends. It’s open to the public — as long as it’s not flooded. n —Brennan Girdler

1618 S. Kentucky Ave. • 422–7782

Wings • Rocabolis • Appetizers • Full-Service Bar

Dance Crafters School of Ballroom Dance

606 S. Weinbach U

ask about our college discounts!

701n. burkhardt • in front of sam’s club

812-402-8454

nit B

47 12) • (8

00 7–6

3

crafter s.com ance ww.d w •

Zumba

fitness Ditch the Workout.....

Join the Party!!

www.thezumbazone.com

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

33

eats

by Whitney Cohen

Photo by Sunny Johnson, Crescent Magazine

A Cone a Day, Can’t Stay Away

I

The little giant among hamburger stands

t’s the final dog days of summer, sweat oozes its way out of every pore, there’s no hint of a breeze in the air and all anyone can think is: Where can I get some ice cream?

When Zesto Drive-In opened its door to Evansville in 1949, few people had air conditioning in their homes, meaning residents were more than willing to wait in lines halfa-block long to get ice cream from the new place in town. Now 60 years — and several generations of satisfied customers later — Zesto on Franklin Street still operates with the same dedication and personality.

A group of lawyers in Des Moines, Iowa, opened the nation’s first Zesto in 1949. Despite its unconventional beginnings, the franchise spread throughout the country but maintained a stronghold in the Midwest.

Today, all Zestos are privately owned, with most having kept the Zesto name although they are no longer affiliated with a nationwide chain. The Franklin Street Zesto was the first one introduced in Evansville.

Since the ‘50s, and until recently, it had been owned by the Krug family.

In 1957, Frank and Mildred Krug purchased Zesto, later passing on ownership to their son, Don. The current owners, Kay and Mike McAtee, acquired the restaurant in February. While they may not be members of the Krug family, they are still dedicated to keeping the same values that have made this family-focused establishment a favorite among locals.

34

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

Zesto is a unique dining option, notes former owner Don Krug, “It’s different from today’s world.”

It is so distinct because its workers enjoy coming to work. One employee, Sherri Hofmann, is a 26-year veteran.

“You get to know your customers,” she said, which is one of the reasons why she has stayed at Zesto. Ironically, Hofmann met her husband of 21 years while they were both working at the Franklin Street location.

Zesto is much more than the average fast food joint. The restaurant’s name actually comes from a frozen custard-making machine known as the Zest-O-Mat. In the beginning, Zesto specialized in frozen treats created using this machine, but today offers a variety of menu items. Nothing is prepared until it is ordered at the front counter, which makes for a tasty dining experience.

When the McAtees took over, patrons insisted they change nothing about the restaurant. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it,” Kay McAtee said.

She and her husband are well aware they bought an establishment that has a loyal following, and they are happy to honor the requests of veteran Zesto patrons.

Zesto has a diverse customer base, but the restaurant is especially suited to meet the needs of students.

“After a long day at school or work, there’s nothing better than a giant cheeseburger and a cherry milkshake from Zesto,” senior Justin Carter said.

When wallets are thin and time is running short, grabbing a Jumbo Cheeseburger with fries and a drink to go for $4.21 is quite the deal. In fact, most single items on the menu can be purchased for $2 to $3.

If time isn’t an issue, there is always plenty of seating available both indoors and outside. Diners can be spotted enjoying a leisurely meal at the counter while reading the newspaper and snacking on fries.

If a frozen treat is in order, enjoy a delectable taste of Zesto’s ice cream.

“There’s an art to making those [ice cream] cones,” McAtee said, which are piled high for customers’ enjoyment.

When it first opened in Evansville, Zesto offered only soft-serve ice cream, but today, it’s menu includes items ranging from burgers and chili dogs to soup.

Classic shakes and malts also serve as local favorites, along with the Giant Breaded Tenderloin. “Eating one of these sandwiches is like going to a carnival,” Carter said.

Zesto is open seven days a week. Its hours are 9:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday– Thursday, 9:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. Friday–Saturday and 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Sunday. Stop by 102 W. Franklin St. or 920 E. Riverside Drive for a delicious dining experience. n

Wonderful with Whipped Cream The Pie Pan Family Restaurant serves pumpkin pie made the old-fashioned way. Pies can be purchased by the slice for $3.25, with whipped cream, ice cream or cheddar cheese added for an additional charge. 905 North Park Drive • thepiepan.net Jeanne’s Gelato & More offers homemade desserts that can be prepared to order. Pumpkin pie is $2.25 per slice or $12 per pie. For a different spin on an old favorite, try Jeanne’s pumpkin cheesecake for $3.25 per slice or $30 per cake. 113 S.E. Fourth St. • jeannesgelato.com Marx Barbecue & Catering bakes pumpkin pies to order for $1.45 per slice or $7.99 per pie. 3119 W. Maryland St. • marxbbq.com n

WESTSIDE NUT CLUB FALL FESTIVAL

by Lauren Oliver

e n i s i u C Curious An amazing array of food draws crowds to the West Side Nut Club Fall Festival, Evansville’s annual street carnival. Get ready to ingest some pretty strange stuff.

I

t’s noisy, crowded and lines for the bath-

customers with what they hope will be the most-

rooms can be a little long. Some die-hards

talked about delicacy of the year. And over the

go every day just to get their yearly fix of

years, there have been some crazy, much-talked-

a certain much-loved dish. Others plan

about items. From alligator and elk jerky to choco-

their vacations around it. One local res-

late-covered bacon, Scorpion Pops (yes, with real

ident’s goal is to eat something from ev-

bugs inside) and deep-fried Oreos, Twinkies and

ery booth lining Franklin Street between Wabash and St. Joe avenues during what may be Evans-

Snickers, it’s a bad-for-you food-lover’s paradise.

While club members wearing straw cowboy

ville’s most popular event, the West Side Nut Club

hats can be seen walking the streets as they watch

Fall Festival.

over the festivities, the festival is especially known

With more than 20,000 revelers every year

for its brain sandwiches, an area favorite made

(although other estimates have the number much

with sliced calves brains that are heavily battered

higher), the Fall Festival, which runs Oct. 5–10,

and served on a hamburger bun.

remains the second largest street festival in the

“I say go big or go home,” senior Philip Win-

United States. As runner-up to Mardi Gras, the

ternheimer said about his bravery in tasting brain

annual street carnival draws in people from every

sandwiches and chocolate-covered crickets.

walk of life with its free entertainment and nightly

Most Evansville natives would not dream

contests.

Why is it so popular? It boils down to a simple, four-letter word — food. With more than 126 mostly

of missing the week many associate with their childhoods.

“It doesn’t feel like fall until the Fall Festival,”

nonprofit mini-eateries crammed into five blocks,

said senior Maria Gahan, who has been attending

there’s an offering for everyone, especially those

since she was a child. “It’s not the classiest place,

who have the nerve to try something different or

but you still love it. It kind of represents what I

are simply food-risk junkies.

hate about Evansville, and what I love about it at

Everywhere you turn, vendors try to entice

the same time.”

Photo courtesy of West Side Nut Club

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

35

So, besides being curious about the strange foods, why do people seem to flock to the festival year after year, some traveling hundreds of miles just to eat Pronto Pops or deep-fried dandelions?

“Number one — they’re loyal,” said Jim Will Jr., a Nut Club member and past festival chairman. “Local people are loyal to local civic groups that depend on that income to survive.”

That loyalty began in 1921 when a group of west side businessmen decided to form a fraternal organization to help ensure that civic needs were being met. The West Side Nut Club was born and adopted the motto “From small acorns, big oaks grow,” which explains the origin of the group’s name.

While the 300 men who make up the club volunteer 365 days per year, the weeklong festival is their claim to fame.

“In some regards, planning for this year started the week after last year’s festival ended,” Will said, adding that more than 30 committees within the club work together to produce the event.

Not only does it take a lot of men to plan the event, but it takes a big chunk of money, too. Mark Head, the event’s chairman, said

this year’s budget fell just under $150,000.

But the impressive thing is that once the operating costs are paid, the Nut Club donates

all proceeds to various groups throughout Evansville. Last year alone, more than $200,000 was donated to schools and clubs in the community, which partially explains the loyalty people feel toward the event.

“If we were depending on all new people, we wouldn’t be near this size,” Will said.

While it has its mainstay in Evansville, the festival seems to draw new people every year.

“My family flew in from Texas to go,” junior Becca Patton said. “We looked it up online and saw something about the Nut Club, so my family calls it the Nut Fest.”

As a freshman, Winternheimer knew nothing of the festival until his roommate, who is from Evansville, convinced him to go. Now, finding time in his schedule goes without saying.

“It’s a tradition to go with my roommate every year,” he said. “We probably go twice a year actually.”

Food is not the only thing that draws in the crowds. Three parades, nightly amateur shows and a park full of rides and carnival games provide additional entertainment.

“You should always do rides before food,” Gahan said. “I learned that the hard way.”

The Nut Club also makes it easy for you to find the typical — and not so typical — gourmet grub with its Munchie Map, a complete listing of all the booths and what each offers that can be found on the club’s web site, nutclub.org.

And beyond getting your fill of Painted Pig on a Stick, Icky Licky Suckers, nutty bars and funnel cake nothing pulls people into the festival like every student’s favorite sport — mullet counting. “[My roommate and I] tried mullet counting, too,” Winternheimer chuckled. “It was a great experience.”

For many students, the intrigue alone is irresistible. But remember, you haven’t really experienced Evansville until you’ve been to the Fall Festival. n

Jobs don’t just FALL into your lap...

See Career Services and get a plan!

Ridgway University Center, Second Floor • 488.1083 • career@evansville.edu • http://careerservices.evansville.edu

36

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

GIVE A LIT

by Sara Stephens

Illustration by Bethany Berry

Letter to the DEAR ANYONE WHO has never bought pants with the word “short” on the tag, At barely a smidgen over 5 foot 2 , I know I am no anomaly. I don’t need stilts to drive or anything like that, and I’ll never be featured at Ripley’s Believe It Or Not or considered as a candidate for surgical stretching.

I’m just short.

In high school I was on the low-end of average, but I’m shorter than all of my friends at college. Every last one.

The tall of the world think I’m cute. I suppose that is an advantage for me. You say I am the “perfect hugging height,” but there is at least a six-inch height difference between two of my best friends, who both claim it, so there is clearly no science to that sort of thing.

Hugging is all about the eagerness anyway, and I am always eager. Here the little woman that I am gets a break, because people who are short and cute get to be affectionat — and it is socially acceptable.

Maybe it’s that the collective subconscious of my friends equates my stature with childishness and accepts that children are more touchy-feely than adults. I certainly am. I can’t get enough of touching these giants all around me, but you don’t mind my eager hugs because I am short and cute.

Plus, isn’t it just nice to squeeze little cute things? Basically, I’m a puppy.

You tell me I am lucky to be short and a woman because it means I will never have to worry about being taller than my boyfriend. I’ve had one boyfriend, and he was a solid foot taller than me. He still is.

You tell me I can wear fabulous high heels without running into doorframes, and

it’s true, I can — if I keep my balance. But you can reach things.

Being short has not made my life miserable, and I am not the victim of a great cosmic injustice. That’s not what I mean.

It’s just that you really do take things for granted — like when you want to wear nice jeans out to coffee, you can, because you own a pair that doesn’t have holes in the bottoms where they grind into the floor with every step.

Also, if you are a woman, the underwire in your bra doesn’t poke you in the armpits all day because every item of clothing, outerwear and underwear ever made is proportioned for a consumer of “average” height.

When you are tall, you can all find one another in crowds. You probably didn’t get lost at the circus when you were 8 because, even then, you were probably tall enough for your parents to see you among the bouncing bags of cotton candy after you fell behind them. You tall masses have a different definition of tall

than mine — it’s a perspective issue. Perhaps you think that tall means tall enough to have to duck on the way downstairs, but to me, it is just tall enough to reach that bag of sugar you put behind the paper towels on the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet without finding the stool (if there even is one).

Tall is 5 foot 5, the height I always wished I could be, and anything above it.

Really it comes down to the jeans — the “short” sizes are made for 5 foot 4 and under. So those of you over 5 foot 4 are tall.

The jeans are important because you can be a size 10 if you are tall, and you will be noticeably less squishy than a size 10 who is not tall. That 10 number means more weight for the tall, but it also allows for streamlining, proportion and smooth curves. Short people are expected to always be a size 6 or a 4 because when you look down at us, you want us to be the same shape as you — only miniaturized.

We are not you.

We appreciate the gesture, but we are really over being patted on the head. We have to wear heels every time you do because otherwise, we’re sixth graders who get mistaken for your child’s siblings. We fall in love more shyly, more surreptitiously than you do because we are 100 percent sure at all times that we are seen as children. We have stools in our kitchens.

We spend our lives craning our necks, we might develop lower back problems and sometimes, yes, we ask you to please get that bag of sugar you put on the top shelf so we can make our tea.

So please, just get the sugar, and we promise next time you bump your head on a low-hanging light, we won’t laugh. Deal? n

October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

37

by Kaitlin Bonifant

W

Gay

hen he was 6 years old and just entering first grade, Chris Gable was teasingly called “Chris Gay-ball.” It must be understood that these other 6-yearold children did not know what they were saying. They only knew it was somehow funny, that calling someone names was what one did when one entered elementary school.

After all, hadn’t they overheard Mommy secretly call Aunt Fanny “Big Fanny” or Uncle George “George of the Jungle” for years?

To these innocent first graders, teasing was simply part of growing up. It didn’t really mean anything.

These children could have no idea that Chris’s father would later accuse him of preferring boys. “Why don’t you just go have sex with a girl already and prove you’re a man?” Chris’s father would yell. Chris did not tell anyone about these conversations.

Chris’s father, Richard, managed a packaging company. He was a relatively unimportant man, and he knew it. Beyond being unimportant, Richard had a past that was viewed as somewhat odd.

He had lived in the same small Indiana town for most of his life, the same town in which he now lived.

Richard stayed mostly to himself growing up, never talking much and never doing boyish things. He had three sisters and preferred to spend his time playing dress-up rather than cowboys and Indians.

It was something from Richard’s past that had made him different, but no one spoke of it, so Chris was never sure. He had only heard about his father’s life after high school, when he had gone away to college and returned six years later with a wife.

That was all Richard ever talked about, so people seemed to forget his odd past, or at least ignored it.

But some nights Richard would walk down Main Street on his way home from the packaging company and hear faint whisperings drifting from darkened doorsteps. It was on one of these nights that Chris placed his hand on the stovetop when his mother was cooking spaghetti.

38

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

He cried, and his father, having just arrived home, told him to “take it like a man.”

Chris did not cry anymore, and he did not tell anyone what his father said on nights like those.

The only person who never questioned Chris was Kat Michaels. Awkwardly bookish with her large, round glasses and carefully indexed notebooks, she understood Chris in a way neither of them ever discussed. Kat knew the things Chris tried to hide as well as the person he really was — something no one else in his life could claim.

If asked, Kat would have declared herself Chris’s best friend, but anyone who asked Chris would only have received an indifferent shrug in response. Kat knew this but did not say anything, partly because she, like Chris, had few other friends.

Mostly Kat saw in Chris something tragically heroic that made him seem her own personal savior.

Once in middle school, after the cheerleaders who called themselves Kat’s friends called her fat for the third time in a week, Chris biked across a cornfield to her house and made her laugh so hard milk shot out her nose. She forgot why she had been sad in the first place.

Kat would lie in bed at night with a copy of Malory’s “Le Morte d’Arthur” and imagine the life she and Chris would eventually lead far away from her conservative, rural hometown.

In her dreams, Kat was a medieval princess in a moss green gown that blended in with the forest in which she lived.

Suddenly the cliche knight-in-shining armor would charge through the trees on his valiant steed. When the knight removed his helmet, Kat would be delighted to see Chris’s charming face, and they would ride off toward the outline of the Eiffel Tower set against a beautiful sunset.

After a fourth-grade history lesson on the Eiffel Tower during which Kat learned it wasn’t completed until 1889, the outline became that of Cinderella’s castle instead, although everything else remained the same.

Kat loved Chris for 13 years, believing in him in a way no one else ever would, and then she graduated high school and went to a liberal arts college five hours away.

Although Chris had never encouraged her love, never dreamt of a future with her, he found he missed the time spent with Kat. He called and wrote her often, much

more often than he had before she left. Still, even hundreds of miles apart, Kat and Chris never discussed anything of much truth or importance. They preferred the selves they had created over the years, and dreaded anything that might disturb their beautiful illusions.

As for Kat, she continued to dream of her knight, comparing all the college men she met to her childhood love — and always allowing them to fall short.

One Saturday night after a long day at work, Chris called Kat. He had not seen or spoken to her for a few months and he suddenly felt the need to talk to her.

When Kat answered with an energetic hello, Chris asked how things were going, knowing she would have plenty to say. He half-listened as she spoke, nervous for some inexplicable reason.

There was something he wanted to tell her, something deep within himself that needed desperately to be expressed, but he remembered the words of his 6-year-old self’s peers, and of his father.

He imagined the destruction of the beautiful illusion he and Kat had built between themselves, and he shoved that part of himself back into the dark room in which it belonged.

On her end of the phone, Kat sensed that something was wrong, but she did not know how to ask. She began to speak about college life, her mind racing with possibilities of what Chris was not saying.

Somewhere inside herself she knew that something in their relationship was on the verge of frightening and unspeakable change.

She could not find the words to express this something, or simply did not want to say the words that came to mind. She, too, was afraid of crushing her illusions. She had never stopped loving the idea of Chris, and she was afraid of what he might have to say.

While Kat thought, Chris began to talk about his life since she had been away.

When he was not in school or talking to Kat, Chris spent much of his free time with the boys of their high school graduating class.

They played video games, filled each other’s rooms with wadded-up newspaper, drank beer until they threw up and dared each other to do nonsensical, adolescent things like going streaking during the winter, or painting obscenities on the abandoned water tower.

They became something of a town legend, although they could not claim their fame for fear of punishment.

“I heard you’ve been working on Jeremy’s farm,” Kat said when he ran out of things to say.

“Yeah.”

Kat imagined the scraping she heard on Chris’s end of the line was a mouse scurrying across his wooden kitchen floor. Curled up on her bedspread like a cat basking in the sun, she stared at the white-brick wall of her dorm where the only picture in the room hung.

It was a framed 8-by-10 photograph of herself and Chris. They were standing in front of a row of lockers at their high school, Chris shoving a frosted blueberry Pop-Tart in his mouth and Kat beaming up at him, one suntanned arm slung over his shoulder in a friendly, possessive embrace.

Out of all the boys, Jeremy Henderson had become Chris’s closest friend. Jeremy was a tall, skinny pig farmer who would have been attractive if he had not always smelled like a pen.

He drove home from school on the weekends to help out on the farm. If it had been up to Jeremy, he would have simply

by Autumn Harvey

Apples “I’m feeling peckish,” Adam said to Eve. “I’ll find the right fruit. If you give me leave.”

So around the garden Eve did gather, All the fruits she thought he’d rather Have eaten than the one before it.

But each new fruit, he did deplore it.

So Eve labored for many days on end, But Adam said the flavors all did blend, Till like a paste mixed on his tongue they’d sit.

“All together it tastes like shit.”

Then Eve had had enough and left, And evil acted quick and deft, “Over there, isss one fruit left among the samplesss.”

So Eve yelled to Adam, “How ‘bout them apples?”

forgotten about college and worked on the farm full time.

It was not that Jeremy was unintelligent or without ambition. He just happened to be one of those now rare agriculturalists that preferred rural life to society’s “higher achievements.” His parents had other ideas.

Chris did not mind any of Jeremy’s quirks. In fact, he soon found himself working alongside Jeremy on the farm. It was hard work for decent pay, but Chris acknowledged to himself that he would have done it for free.

The time spent with Jeremy was payment enough. It was not quite the same as his friendship with Kat, a friendship based on mutual awkwardness and a desire for seemingly unattainable human connection.

It wasn’t that Jeremy did not judge Chris, although he rarely did. And it wasn’t that Jeremy understood Chris, although Chris imagined this was so.

The way Chris felt about Jeremy was simply different from the way he felt about other people, even Kat. Chris did not share this with Kat, but she sensed the unsaid things between his spoken words. She knew what it was he could not say, although he wanted to.

When Chris was done speaking, Kat said, “Sounds wonderful. I wish I could be there with you.”

“You’re not really missing much.”

Kat pulled at a loose string on her shorts.

“Listen, I better go. I’ve got…stuff to do.”

He was searching for an excuse, any excuse.

“I haven’t showered yet, so I smell like pig shit. If you were here, you wouldn’t want to be near me.”

Kat could tell Chris was lying, but she played along as usual. “Gross, Chris. Take a shower before you lose all of your friends.”

They both laughed, but it was forced and Kat hung up before either of them could say anything more.

Chris listened to the dial tone and tried hard to be a man. Miles away in her dorm, Kat stood up and walked quietly across the floor of her room, her bare, sweaty feet making soft sticking sounds against the scuffed, ivory linoleum.

Standing in front of the white-brick wall, she reached up and pulled down the photograph.

Cradling it in her arms like a small child, Kat carried it back across the room to her bed where she sat down and cried. n

L VES their new Cutie Hooties Ashley Altmeyer Rachelle Alstadt Elizabeth Baldwin Liz Bracewell Jessica Cashman Kara Craig Alexandra Cutler Shawna Doty Kellsey Dempsey Hailey Jones Jess Kohn Monika Kirkiewicz Karlan Levy Sarah McCoy Chelsea McLear Taylor Paquette Jess Raatz Ashleigh Rahming Ally Roberts Ashley Rojan Patty Schulz Jordan Van Wyk Grace Yeary Danielle Zeisset

CHI OMEGA October 2009 n Crescent Magazine

39

schitzengiggles

S

omewhere wandering the streets of Barcelona, Spain, is a middle-aged Gypsy woman who periodically stops to ingest something from the trash and scream at a storm drain as though it owes her money.

This is the kind of thing you might laugh about if you’re a small-town American touring the world’s ancient civilizations.

Truth be told, I did laugh when I saw this woman, and I thought about following her to see what other adventures she’d come across. Unfortunately, my traveling companions were too anxious to find a McDonald’s.

I found myself in a variety of off-color situations during my time in UE’s study abroad program. I applied for the whole shebang for reasons that are still hazy to me, but it likely had to do with my limited world-view.

Evansville is great and all, but the occasional monster truck rally at Roberts Stadium is about as worldly as it gets.

Thus, in a shockingly short time, I found myself on a transatlantic flight seated next to a retired high school teacher who was also a Vietnam veteran. He had plenty to talk about. For a while I wondered how he might react if I asked him to inhale his complimentary pillow, but he soon revealed he had met author Kurt Vonnegut shortly before the author’s death.

Following that, I’m sure it was he who wished he’d minded his own business. My interrogation went long into the night.

After nine hours of turbulence, we landed at London Heathrow and were bussed to Harlaxton — located in Grantham, England, birthplace of none other than Margaret Thatcher.

As we all failed to adapt to the time zone shift, we learned the favorite games of the local youth, which included “Which of Us is the Youngest Chap Smoking Fags,” “Have a Drink, Fancy a Shag” and “Get Belligerent and Punch a Bloke in the Face.”

It came to pass that while studying abroad, we weren’t quite abroad enough.

This problem was alleviated by our weekend trips to nearly every corner of Europe. I began this grand excursion with a trip to Edinburgh, Scotland.

We took an independent tour into the

40

Crescent Magazine n October 2009

a PINT of perspective n ite brand of German beer and had studied Scottish Highlands with a guide by the all the lingual shortcuts used to order it. name of Kenny, who had a habit of amusing himself with his commentary. The language The catalog of my travels is rather abbrebarriers protected his groups from his flaviated here, but despite them, I often found grantly tasteless brand of humor. my most valuable experiencHe would go on about how es were in Grantham itself. Durwe wouldn’t recognize the moding one of our many rounds of “A ern world without Scotland, and Pint and a Chat,” we met a pair of how William Wallace’s army gentlemen who were retired Britslaughtered the English forces ish Special Forces. with full-blown erections. He’d The fact that they were alive even point at a distant white was a pretty sure way to tell they spot, claiming it was a house behad killed a few people in their n Regan Campbell, longing to Sean Connery. day. Their taste for Motown Rea junior creative When we approached a town cords and Shania Twain made for writing major from by the name of Glencoe, he mensome heated discussion. When I Vincennes, closes each issue with tioned something called the laughed at them and said somehis special brand “Glencoe Massacre” before ranthing about Duran Duran, they of humor on life’s domly pulling the bus over for a detailed the ways in which they lighter moments. rest break. could make me disappear.

Being fairly familiar with Scottish histoThey went on to ask what we each ry, I knew it was an event in which my anthought about our new president, and I concestors, Clan Campbell, after accepting a tinued another game I invented called “Tell few months’ lodging from Clan MacDonald, Europeans I Didn’t Vote for Obama.” woke up one morning and slaughtered evThis time, the elder, more grizzled memeryone in the house. ber of this heterosexual life partnership I told Kenny I was one of the Campbells squinted hard at me and said, “Does it he was going to tell us about, and his eyes ma’er who fu’ing vo’ed fer ‘im?” lit up. “Well man,” he chuckled, “we cud get We were surprised by his mellowness, ya intae a lotta trouble up ‘ere!” and later when we covered one of our misHe seemed mesmerized by the chance statements by referring to ourselves as “stuto see a local pull my head off, but I was pid Americans,” the table grew quiet. less eager for further cultural interaction.

The riotous jokester frowned, and once This was especially the case when we drove again the larger tattooed man spoke up, past an inn with a sign above the door, read- slow and steady. “There is nothing wrong ing, “No dirty boots, no dirty Campbells.” with being American,” he said.

Fortunately, the day ended — a day that None of us knew what to say to that. All I happened to be my 20th birthday — with know is the moment I returned to the States, me standing on a boat in the middle of the the headlines screamed “Pandemic! Flee to black, rocking water of Loch Ness. Managing an island civilization!” to keep my Campbell’s head on my shoulI feel like those of us who attend Harders was pretty cool, too. laxton are all slow to readjust to our home, One might be perturbed to find their where everything suddenly feels larger, credit card has maxed out, but it’s a litspread out and perhaps artificial. tle more jarring if you’re in the middle of a It is back to everyone blaming one annon-English speaking country. My Germany other for the economy, back to small-town trip began with this revelation. nowhere, devoid of pickpockets. We are The rumor is that all Germans speak back to a place where you don’t hear the some English, but my panicked inquiries word “sorry” in public. were met with more “das frankfurter” and At any rate, I suppose a person like me “Volkswagen lederhosen” than I was accushas to roam around a bit, and sometimes, tomed to hearing. By the time the matter dip his hand into some filth to get a taste of was sorted out, I had discovered my favorhis place in the world. n

Crescent Magazine It’s Flippin’ Awesome Next Issue: Nov. 1

T R E A S U R E T R A D

I

&

T

I

O N S

e m o c l e W

Class of 2013

to the

E Utradition

Upcoming Events to Remember University Vespers • Oct. 25 Homecoming 2009 • Nov. 6–8 International Speaker Series: Thomas L. Friedman • Nov. 6

University of Evansville Alumni Association • www.evansville.edu/alumni