Chronically concerned: Being raised by parents with chronic health issues

Iwas 10 years old when I had to call 911 for my mom.

My dad was out of town, so it was just me, my mom and my 8-year-old sister at home. I woke up late, which felt wrong because I knew we had to be somewhere early. I went to go check on my mom and found her barely conscious.

My mom has type 1 diabetes, and has since she was 2 years old. I’ve grown up understanding her disease, and my parents had always told me what to do if I found her the way I did that morning.

“Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disorder where the person’s immune system gets confused and attacks the cells of the pancreas that make insulin, and so therefore the person doesn’t make any insulin,” said Amy Aponick, certified diabetes care and education specialist. “If there’s no insulin, the body cannot utilize glucose and therefore they end up with extremely high blood sugars.”

There was a period of time growing up where my dad must

Story by Lindsay Schindler

have called 911 at least four times because my mom’s blood sugar level had gotten too low.

My dad used to be able to force feed her sugar. He would pin her down and she would fight and scream. It was uncomfortable to watch. But eventually, my dad lost the strength to do that. Why? Because he also suffers from a chronic issue, but his is chronic back pain.

American adults, or 8% of the U.S. population, experience chronic back pain. It limits certain everyday activities and decreases overall mobility. They have also stated it to be the sixth most expensive health condition to live with in the United States.

My dad has been prescribed every pain medication under the sun. I’ve grown up around fentanyl and morphine without even understanding what they were. My dad is no drug addict — this is simply how severe his pain is.

walk. Because he can’t feel his feet, his equilibrium is off and he falls and knocks into walls. When he falls, it only makes his back worse. Using the term “positive feedback loop” feels ironic because the situation is anything but positive, but that’s exactly what it is.

“You two better start getting along, because we won’t be here much longer,” my parents have always said to my sister and I. My parents speak candidly about death.

Recent medical advances have increased the lifespan of those with type 1 diabetes. According to Endocrinology Network, the average lifespan of someone with type 1 is just 8 years shorter than the 76 years expected of the general population.

My mom, however, is not so convinced.

childhood. However, when you’re a kid, you just accept your reality without asking too many questions. I didn’t realize other people’s lives looked different from mine, so nothing ever bothered me. I also didn’t worry about my parents’ health because, while I understood their health conditions, I didn’t understand the consequences that accompanied them.

I didn’t realize that I was missing out on things, but my parents did. As I’ve gotten older, I realized the toll their conditions have taken on their mental health. Aside from simply having to live the ways they do, they also have to balance parental pressures.

My dad says he wasn’t able to be the type of father he wanted to be, and that was hard for him.

I grew up understanding my dad has a bad back. He got into a car accident before he even met my mom, and his pain has since gotten progressively worse. When I was 10, he got into yet another car accident that left him unable to work.

According to Georgetown University, around 16 million

ELEMENTS - SPRING 2023

It’s February at the time I’m writing this, and in this school year alone, my dad has been taken to the emergency room three times. Complications with COVID, inability to catch his breath, and a painful, mysterious lump in his throat have been the most recent ailments to send him to the hospital. In fact, the last of that list was just three days ago. We still don’t know what’s wrong.

My dad’s back pain, though his main issue, has also served as a catalyst for a slew of different health issues. His nerves are failing, which means his feet are going numb and he struggles to

My mom has said that I should start memorizing recipes soon, because soon enough she won’t be around to tell me how to make our old family recipes.

My dad has said I won’t have to worry about money much longer, because he’s inheriting everything from my grandparents when they pass, and he doesn’t even know how much longer he has.

My mom has pestered me to meet a nice Jewish boy sometime soon, because she wants grandkids while her mind is still sharp enough to know she has grandkids.

From an objective standpoint, it sounds as though I had a sad

“I would’ve loved to take you on a trip,” my dad said. “Just go somewhere and spend time together. But my back affected my ability to earn money, which was one of the biggest factors. I couldn’t hustle the way I needed to.”

Sharing this was emotionally draining for my dad. For reference, I’ve seen my dad cry once before in my life, and that was when my guinea pig died when I was 12.

In fact, my dad is very good at suppressing his pain --- very good. Quite frankly, I don’t know how he does what he does.

His medication helps, but it also hurts.

“It took away so much of my personality,” he said. “It took away me.”

Botanical Brew

Ingredients:

1 ounce tequila

.5 ounces fresh squeezed

Lime juice

3 ounces grapefruit soda

Salt

Lime

Ice

One rocks glass

Directions:

For this drink, get out your rocks glass. Cut a lime in half and trace it around the rim until it is fully coated. Once the rim is covered in salt, you can begin to make your drink.

He feels as though his condition inhibited his ability to bond with my sister and I, because he couldn’t go out and do the physical things he wanted to.

My mother, however, found her diabetes impacting her ability to parent in the form of stress.

“When you girls were babies, I would prick your toes to check your blood sugar just in case,” she said.

She exclusively kept healthy snacks in the house, monitoring not only her own sugar intake but ours as well.

As I’ve gotten older, it’s been hard to see the stress raising children has brought my parents, as they already had to deal with so much upon entering parenthood.

However, I think I’ve become a stronger person because of it.

From my dad, I’ve learned that you truly can persevere through anything, especially for those you love.

“At least I’m still vertical,” my dad always says in his it-couldalways-be-worse nature.

From my mom, I learned the importance of taking charge of your own health, so those around you don’t feel its burden.

I love my parents, and while they may feel that their circumstances prevented them from parenting us how they would’ve liked, I think it’s only made me appreciate them more.

In a shaker put 1 ounce of tequila, .5 ounces of lime juice and 3 ounces of grapefruit soda. Once you thoroughly shake the mix, strain the drink into the rocks glass.

To finish the drink, add ice and a lime to garnish. Add salt the rim if you want.