COLUMNIST – PAT MCGREGOR

Pat McGregor

Our regular columnist, BBC radio presenter Kathy Clugston, is on a break this month so her mother, Pat McGregor, has kindly stepped in for this edition.

MUM’S THE WORD

This month, Pat ponders the triumphs and tragedies of living in the digital age.

“How am I going to manage without my internet?”

I never thought I’d say those words and really mean them. At the age of 82, you’re not expected to understand the internet or to use it. Why do people assume that because you’re older you have no interest in what is going on around you? I may not understand how the internet works, but I can still make use of it. Recently my lovely optician went down a notch or two in my estimation when she suggested she might tell my daughter about a website that would be helpful to me. “You can tell me about it,” I replied stiffly, “I am computer literate!” A slight exaggeration, I admit, but one I felt justified in making under the circumstances.

Of course my friends and I are computer-savvy up to a point. We send each other texts and emails, exchange jokes and photos on WhatsApp, have FaceTime calls and join the odd Zoom meeting. Some of the braver amongst us are on Facebook. My own favourite is YouTube, where many nice experts will show you how to do just about everything. How kind these people are, to give us the benefit of their expertise! We’re fine as long as nothing goes wrong. Then we are lost. How I envy those with young grandchildren who soon get sorted out. Computer experts seem to be about 12 years old.

But back to my internet. My hub appeared to have given up the ghost and had to be replaced – why do these things always happen on a Friday? – it would be Tuesday before it arrived. So in the meantime I couldn’t do the daily puzzles that keep my brain active, there’d be no Google or Alexa to answer my queries and, worst of all, no Netflix! This dependence on technology got me thinking about the past and how far we have come in my lifetime.

In the 1960s I worked in London as a telephonist at an Exchange in Golders Green. At that time not all exchanges were automatic, and most people had to call the operator to get a number, even if the other person lived just down the street or across the road. We operators sat in front of a large switchboard, headphones on, plug at the ready. When a call came through a light came on on every board and it was a race to get in first. Occasionally you would pick up a “sex call” and you were supposed to try and keep them on the line so that the engineers could trace it. I never did work out what to say to such a person. I quite liked the jokers though:

“Operator, are you on the line?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’d better get off, there’s a train coming!”

Innocent days. Who knows what they might tell you to do now! For those of you who do remember those days, I have a confession to make. You were right to be concerned - on a quiet day the operator might well have been listening in. Sorry!

I don’t suppose the job of Telephone Operator exists now. Why would it when you can ring the other side of the world with a device that fits in the palm of your hand. A device that also replaces the dictionary, thesaurus, diary, calendar and more. How wonderful is that?

Tuesday finally came and with it my new super hub. I’m back to training my brain daily. Apparently I have the brain of a 30-yearold, except for my maths scores (my old maths teacher wouldn’t be one bit surprised at that). Alexa is back telling silly jokes and playing my choice of music and the world of Netflix is once more on tap. I really feel I would never have made it through the last year and a half without the help of my trusty tablet and the world of technology it opened up for me. I know I’ve only scratched the surface, but I intend to keep on learning. So my message for all seniors is to jump on the technology bandwagon before it’s too late. So much is only online these days, it’s easy to miss out. We’ve done a lot in life – we can do this!

Illustration by Megan Rafferty.

PAT’S CURRENT OBSESSIONS:

GPs Behind Closed Doors – One of my favourite TV programmes. I love those doctors and wish I were in their practice, they are so caring (although I realise they are on camera!) Retinol Serum - It’s never too late to start tackling those lines and wrinkles. I’ve had lots of compliments on my skin since I started using this stuff. Candy Crush - I was introduced to this online puzzle game by a friend some years ago and am still addicted.