Pulse - November by An Focal ULSU

Pulse

s n o s a e s ! s g n i t gree

Catch up with Cathy Davey and Lisa Hannigan in exclusive interviews The Milfords answer the problems of UL 1

Pulse

Volume I, Issue 3, November, 2008: Editor: Aoife Breen Design: Blink Design Contributors: Not Quite the News - Paul Carty, Colum Cooney, Derek Daly, Finn McDufﬁe, Nicole Ní Ríordáin Looking Good - Aoife Harney, Karen Kiely Around the World - Kieran Costello, Aoife Ní Raghallaigh OctEnts - Keith & Regina @ EPM, Aoife Breen, David Morrissey Next Big Thing - David Morrissey, Aoife Ní Raghallaigh What’s On - ULSU Ents; Students’ Union; UL Arts Ofﬁce; Clubs & Societies Spare Parts - Aoife Breen Thanks to: Everyone who has helped out with semester one of Pulse. Yes, folks, three issues done and only three to go. Contact us: Please address all letters, content, suggestions, comments, requests or advertising queries to: Snail Mail: The Editor, Pulse, University of Limerick Students’ Union, University of Limerick, Plassey, Co Limerick. Email: editor@ulsu.ie Tel: 061 20 236

Volume I, Issue 3, November, 2008: Publication Date: 04 November, 2008: Please contact the Editor if you wish to submit an article for consideration for publication in the February issue of Pulse. Copyright & Disclaimer: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, including, but not exclusively, photocopying, recording, Morse code, smoke signals, radio waves and technologies not yet discovered or any other storage system without the prior consent of the Editor who is most likely to say no anyway. This magazine is ﬁtted with a device which, upon illicit reproduction or transmission, will activate itself and may cause harm to those within a 12cm radius. In the case of such an incident, the following side effects may occur: dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, uncontrollable laughter, a ﬂaming red rash on your forearm. Please refrain from operating heavy machinery while reading this magazine. If you need to wear glasses for reading, please do so: Pulse takes no responsibility for eye strain if you neglect to follow doctor’s orders, you nitwit. Pulse and its advertisers cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. The information received for this issue was correct and most updated at time of publication (Thursday, 23 October, 2008). The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of Limerick, nor of the University of Limerick Students’ Union. We’re not really sure whose opinions there are so. All comments about this issue should probably be addressed to the Editor. She more than likely won’t care but she likes having ‘issues’ brought to her attention, for the craic. We reserve the right to publish correspondence. If it’s funny, we also reserve the right to credit it to ourselves because we’re mean like that and like to hijack good ideas. If you have a problem with this, or anything else, please consult someone who might give a damn. You are the weakest link...goodbye!

contents

Not Quite the News

- The headlines you didn’t and never will see in the newspapers

Dear Milfords

- UL’s favourites offer their words of wisdom again

Looking Good

- Aoife Harney looks at the US presidential candidates while Karen Kiely does some style spotting a little closer to home on the campus

Around the World

- Kieran Costello takes us to Florida while Aoife Ní Raghallaigh goes to Glasgow

What’s On

- Bored? Want something to do? Take a look at what’s going on in UL for the month ahead

At the Movies

- Finn McDufﬁe continues the hype for the new Bond movie

NovEnts

- Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? Yes, folks, Christmas Days are back at the end of the month! - Go backstage with Lisa Hannigan, Cathy Davey and Damien Dempsey

Next Big Thing

- You heard about them here ﬁrst!

Spare Parts

- Essentially useless but mind-boggingly interesting ‘Misc.’

Famous Last Words

- The Monthly Spiel from the Grammar Fascist in charge

Not Quite the News

LIT hit by student experiment Paul Carty Limerick Institute of Technology was the scene of an explosion that devastated the campus and surrounds in the early hours of this morning. Thankfully no-one was seriously injured as the incident took place at 11am this morning while all of the students were still asleep or making their way home from socialising the previous night. All that remains of LIT is a giant hole. Passers by seemed oblivious to the incident. When pointed out that LIT was now a big hole one man replied “Whats the difference?” A students attempt at recreating the Hadron Collider is thought to be to blame for the incident. In a project given by a Professor in which students had to demonstrate the change in form from solid to liquid, one student decided to create a hadron collider and shine the beam at a cube of ice. Early reports indicate the hadron collider actually consisted of a lawnmower engine, lighter and industrial size vat of lynx. Neighbouring Thomond Student Village was also hit although mercifully the surrounding perimeter wall suffered the brunt of the hit. Locals from the surrounding housing estates quickly converged on the Village and reclaimed what they think is rightfully theirs. In scenes reminiscent of the fall of the Berlin Wall, a crowd of angry locals poured into the estates, evicted the residents and proudly reclaimed the area for the Peoples Republic of Moyross. The loss of the College library was being mourned by those at ground zero yesterday. There was much grief at the fact that some of the books hadn’t been coloured in yet. Visited by a record 27 students last year the Library had the

unenviable record of most unpaid ﬁnes in an Irish higher level institution. In response to the tragic events of last night, the students of University of Limerick in a show of solidarity pledged to donate €1000 worth of scratchcards to help ease the pain of their stricken colleagues. In addition, Limerick Corporation (the largest employer of LIT Graduates in the country) has announced plans to run a recruitment drive next week solely for LIT students in order to ﬁnd staff for their new Waste treatment plant. Plans to rebuild LIT have already been mooted with K.A. Ryan building contractors offering to provide 3 portacabins. It is hoped LIT will reopen sometime again in 2015.

Apathy Protest Turns Violent Colum Cooney Recently there has been a barrage of publicity by Students Union leaders encouraging their “comrades” to “ﬁght the fees”. Frustrated the Apathy Society decided they would not stand for such outrageous enthusiasm but they might stand outside the Students Union Centre some day in protest. Outraged, those ardently opposed to the fees started the Anti-Apathy Front. It is rumoured that the group included several senior members of the students union that also partook in a brutal initiation ceremony which involved caring. Disillusioned with this abrupt reaction of the Anti-Ap; those opposed to the fees but concerned about protecting the Apathy Soc’s right to indifference started the Apathy-Sympathisers Faction. Both groups 4

prepared for the Apathy Soc’s protest by conducted ultra violent ambushes on indigenous wildlife on the banks of Shannon. An insider revealed seven swans were left scared and a water rat was eaten. Naturally as the days passed it became clear that members of the Apathy Soc had forgotten to protest. The insincerity and disrespect of the Apathy Soc enraged the AntiAp’s who reacted viciously; launching into a debate with the Apathy Sympathisers. This debate quickly turned nasty, quirky witticisms ﬂying; fresh for print in the campus newspaper. Several were hospitalised due to exhaustion resultant of pretentiousness. The Apathy Soc expressed their disregard by not commenting.

Government Takes First Step In Phasing Out Over 70s A Special Report - Your Questions Answered Finn McDuffie Motivated by the prospect of Zimmer-frame wielding protesters, the government has decided to ‘tone down and rethink’ its new medical card scheme – the first in a series of steps that will eventually phase out the over-70s of Ireland. However, despite the government’s recent roll-back measure, the over-70s phaseout scheme will continue and reduction targets of 85% are expected to be reached by 2020. Public reaction to the scheme has been harsh, with the medical cards issue dominating the nation’s headlines in recent weeks. But the government remains firm in its new policy to reduce by any whatever means necessary, the number of over-70s ‘leeching the public funds’. How? A number of government measures have been put forward. Energy and Heat – To Go Already in progress, is the Department of Energy’s ‘Prohibitively Priced Energy’ Scheme. ‘Eventually we hope to cut off their heating supply,’ says one well-placed government source, ‘Bórd Gais has already hiked gas prices at the request of the Energy Minister, who will be working tirelessly to continue the price increases.’ Our source also tells us the ESB is planning to short circuit some of the grid which services elderly communities. One ESB insider has said ‘we’re not the only ones. Other departments are also working on making the lives of over-70s as difficult as can be got away with under Ireland’s international human rights obligations.’ Pensions and Finance – Ministers Will Get New Vehicles And it seems the medical card is just the first current measure. According to a press release, the Department of Finance is ‘working on ways to reduce the pensions of over-70s and sabotage any private funds they might have in Ireland’s brand new, seminationalised banking system.’ A Department of Finance insider has said ‘our measures will have the greatest effect in the effort to reduce the number of over-70s. Without medical cards, they have to pay for their treatments. Without money, they won’t be able to. We are the final line of attack in making them wish they could smell that sweet, sweet soil.’ Meanwhile, in another section of the Department, a secretary has let leak that the money saved from this particular measure will be used to purchase 12 black Mercedes S-Class vehicles for ‘diplomatic’ purposes. Over-70s – Radar Tracking Electronic tagging is another proposed measure, which will be conducted by the HSE and will enable the health service to track the movement and whereabouts of the nation’s over 70s by means of blips on a screen, similar to radar. A HSE spokesperson has said, ‘we’re hoping many of the tags will go off our radar. This will indicate emigration. We also hope to see many stationary tags, which indicates death. However, a lot of the nation’s over70s do not move very much, even when alive. So tagging will only be indicative as opposed to solid data’. Transport – Bus Passes Confiscated The Department of Transport has refused to comment on the measures it will be imposing under the new umbrella policy. However, thousands of complaints have been issued to the government about the confiscation of over-70s’ bus-passes, which

provide for free travel. A recent press report alleges these complaints have been found together with the confiscated bus passes in a waste facility site in North Dublin and are due for incineration within the week. Under usual circumstances, such a finding would be under current investigation by the Data Protection Commissioner. However, the Commissioner is himself over-70 and has gone missing. Government Advertising Already, an advertisement campaign has been launched nationwide, encouraging the use of fireworks around elderly neighbourhoods this Halloween, in an effort to hunt over-70s out of their homes. The Advertising Standards Authority has called the measure ‘a shining example of liberal thought and free speech in society.’ The Irish Society for Over-70s (I SO 70) has fought back, claiming in a press release, that the advertisement is an incitement to hatred. However, the press release was intercepted electronically and some of the fax we received at Pulse, was missing. Why? – The Reasons Behind The Phasing-Out At a press conference announcing the new scheme, the Taoiseach explained the reasons for this new measure. ‘This measure is primarily a response to budget concerns, which we feel strikes the better side of a balance of harms. Over-70s are costing the tax-payer too much and we need to dispense of this cost. By phasing them out, we phase out the pension too – and at no cost to society. It’s the perfect solution.’ The Minister for Finance was also present at the conference. He said, ‘we initially thought about targeting students. But the reaction was too volatile and that was the last thing we needed. What we needed was a “candy-from-a-baby” policy and despite a little fuss in the media, we’re confident we’ve found that.’ He is also reported to have said, ‘sure most of them don’t even know we’ve changed anything and the ones that do have forgotten.’ Preservation Some old people will remain under the new phase-out measures. ‘We need to preserve a very small number of selected over-70s for the purposes of public service, law-making etc,’ said the Minister for Environment. ‘Public servants need not be afraid. I would also urge the Data Protection Commissioner to return to his post.’ On preservation, a Department of Environment spokesman has said, ‘along with the Minister’s comments we will also need to preserve the friendly neighbourhood milk man and the grey-haired ladies that sit on our park benches, feed our pigeons and knot our Shreddies. These are vital public functions without which our society cannot develop and advance.’ The Guinness Company has reportedly backed the preservation measure in an effort to retain at least 15 per cent of its target market. A Diageo spokesman has commented ‘we simply can’t afford to loose any more of our Irish consumer-base. We don’t even think the government is aware that phasing out over-70s will ruin the Irish pub economy. The black stuff fuels progress, you know!’ While the government pushed some preservation proposals included ‘salting’ and ‘pickling’, backbenchers reminded the government of its human rights obligations, and new measures were swiftly proposed. 5

I mean everyone fears something, don’t they? As I sit here looking at my hands shaking I kind of wish my fear was something more exotic, like being caged with some sort of animal that would tear you apart or running away from LIT with those aforementioned...you get the idea. No, as I sit here in the dentist’s waiting room, I know my greatest fear is cleaning up his drills for his next victim: me. I’ve always found those waiting rooms to be some sort of twisted joke on the people waiting there. Posters of people with the absolute-bestpearly-white-straight-film-star teeth adorn the walls - when everyone in the room has exactly the opposite. My hands are still shaking. It’s funny how your body intuitively reacts to this sort of situation. Almost a type of primal instinct. It knows something bad is going to happen. The only other time I recall my body giving me the “get the fook out of here fairly lovely” vibes was outside the principals’ office, back in my younger reckless years (And that time I ended up in some LIT bird’s apartment during Rag week... ed: you wish). And then he calls me. If you could visualize Heath Ledger’s Joker as a dentist then you’ve got a pretty accurate description of my dentist. I half expect him to start laughing manically as he calls me in, “Next patient, mwhahahaha”. This is very far from a joke, I think, as I tentatively make my way towards his den of pain. It is the coldest most clinical room I’ve ever been in. Forgive me if I’m being too extravagant here, but maybe a dimly lit, scented candles and gushing water type serenity is too much to ask for in a dentist’s room? Instead what greets me wouldn’t be out of place in a building site. There are more drills and digging implements around than I’ve ever seen. I’m guessing the shovel in the corner is for the “local anesthetic”. The floodlights; mother of god the floodlights. They’re perched right over you and when he turns them on...I don’t know what it’s like to be blind, but I’m thinking this is as close as you’ll get. I’ve also figured out why my local tooth digger uses his floodlights so liberally: if you ever end up in court with half your head gouged out and the judge asks you to identify the man who did this to you, all you’re going to be able to say was “Well it was very bright”. Needles and I aren’t the best of friends. I’m not mortally scared of them; we just don’t get on really. So when our delightful dentist pulls out a big 10-incher of a needle and proceeds to assure me, “it’ll only hurt for a minute” I really feel compelled to inform him a minute is a fecking long time. The numbness after it is something else. I swear someone could have hit me in the side of the head with a sledgehammer and I’d only just about have turned around to them to ask what they wanted. It takes some effort afterwards not to chew my face off. I can almost read the manufacturer’s name on the side of the drill. It’s one of those really harsh German or Swiss names; something like “Der Hocker 3000”. All I know is its presently “Hocking” half my tooth off. And the weird thing is I can’t feel it. I know it should hurt, but the numbness is doing just that - leaving me numb. I’m almost sure I catch him grinning as he drills away, knowing that my pain is on a time delay and when the numbness wears off he’ll be long gone home. With all my money to boot. And then it’s over. But the real pain is yet to come. As I gingerly crawl out of his room, offering a thanks I really don’t mean, his receptionist is waiting for me. That’ll be €200, she says. I can feel the numbness wearing off. What kind of profession gets to hurt you, laugh at it and charge you an absolute fortune for it? I really did the wrong course; I should have been a dentist.

Paul Carty

7 7

Confessions of a serial blogger Nicole Ní Ríordáin I’ve always been a big believer in recording my life. I started my first diary when I was seven, and since then I’ve filled notebook upon notebook with my scribblings. While I always claim it’s therapeutic to write your feelings down, there’s also nothing better than digging out my old diaries every so often and flinching at the contents- I liked him in 3rd class?! However, with the past few months I’ve abandoned my pen and paper habits for a new outlet: A web blog. That’s right folks - I officially have a blog. I am one of those creatures who inhabit cyber-space. I join the fellow members of the blogging community (yes, we have a community, what’s the world coming to!) in typing posts in the same way I used to write entries for my diary, describing my innermost thoughts, relating intimate experiences and sharing my observations. If that’s all I use it for then what’s wrong with the old-fashioned píosa paipeir agus biro, I hear you ask. Well, the truth is, nothing. It’s just that at this particular time, I find blogging suits me better. The entire purpose of diary keeping for me is to be able to look back down the line and remember what I was experiencing at the time I wrote the entry. While doing this the “old fashioned” way by physically writing it down is all very well and good, I can do so much more on the internet. For example, if I was creating a post about seeing my favourite band live, I could customise my recollections by adding pictures of the band, a music video of theirs courtesy of YouTube, a link to an online review of the gig, photos of my friends and I rocking out, and a scan of an autograph I got from one of the band members (I should be so lucky). All this while their new single plays in the background. Ah, technology. With all those audio and visual aids, who needs a tour dvd to relive the night?! One of the other great advantages of blogging has to be the ability to share. If I wanted to, I could have my friends and family updated every time I made a post, regardless of where in the world they are (or where I am- with the emergence of mobile broadband one can blog from almost anywhere). However, I tend to keep my blog secret from the people I know. This isn’t very tricky, when you consider the amount of blogs online and the fact that I cut out the faces on all my photos. The reason I don’t allow anyone to read it is simple: my blog is my personal space, where I can write candidly about my life, my feelings, my opinions... if somebody close to me had access to all that information I’d be embarrassed, as I would have been as a seven-year-old if someone had read one of my treasured notebooks. I could never continue saying what I really felt, for fear of offending others. My blog is the place where I can be myself completely guilt-free. I don’t have to live up to expectations or hold my tongue in order not to sound bitchy. In fact, I can be as bitchy as I want on my blog, and if anyone reading it gets offended then they can go to hell. I think that’s the great trepidation most people have about bloggingthe fact that complete strangers can read about your life. Personally, I never give the visitors to my blog a thought. Comments are disabled on my posts so they have no way of interacting with me. And as for safety, nobody who reads my blog knows my name, age, phone number or email address. They don’t even know what country I live in, or what nationality I am. I don’t vlog (that’s where you post a blog in video format, duh!), because I don’t like the idea of people being able to see me. My blog is completely anonymous and confidential, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So if you find you don’t have the time to keep a diary, why not try blogging? It’s just so easy...in this day and age everyone has access to the internet and most of us seem to be able to type faster than we can write. So what are you waiting for? Head to www.wordpress. com to get a free blog and get writing. As soon as you get started you’ll see the many benefits and if you’re anything like me, you’ll be won over. Who knows, you might attract a devout fan base and be the next blogging sensation, like Belle de Jour or Cory Kennedy!

Runway to the White House. What the candidate’s clothes really say about them... Aoife Harney El Presidente A & B

Barack Obama

The Cool Dude. Will Smith’s presidential doppelganger. He favours blue ties, or no tie at all, pretty much establishing that he’s too hip for ties or just doesn’t know how to do the knot correctly when Michelle is gone AWOL. Nobody is certain which. Open shirts, rolled up sleeves, dark suits and cover-boy for Men’s Vogue, GQ, Vibe and Esquire. You can’t touch this... I recommend: A cowboy hat to attract the rednecks, with a Gay Pride badge pinned to the side, killing two birds with one stone. Shamrocks should be peeking out of his pocket, cause he’s Irish you know, and maybe a lei (Hawaiian ﬂower necklace) just to add the ethnic touch.

John McCain

The granddad. A lover of crew neck jumpers under his suit jacket. Isn’t sure of his neck measurements and subsequently looks like his head is about to be squeezed off at any given moment. Going for the cuddly, fuzzy, paternal look, but appears more like the military school headmaster from Malcolm in the Middle. You don’t want to cross him. He’s a bulldog in elbow patches. I recommend: Some form of zimmerframe or bathchair on hand. A Philip Treacy designed ear-trumpet. Radley cue-cards with his opponent’s name on it - God knows his memory isn’t what it was in Vietnam. A smoking jacket presented by Hugh Hefner, but on the sly since he’s a Republican and they don’t appreciate the porn industry (unless it’s called something like ‘Weapons of Ass Destruction’, starring Sara Paylenn.) And their cohorts...

Joe Biden

The Car Salesman. Sports suspenders and cufﬂinks. Always looks dapper and polished, and that’s just his face. Best friends with his Botox specialist. Is the “fun” guy who wears Christmas sweaters and novelty ties at Sunday dinner. Wears French designers but refers to them as Freedom brands. I recommend: D&G crocodile boots to match the crocodile tears he shed during his debate. A Hermés bandana to hide his Botox and Collagen scarring. Ray-Bans to shield his eyes from his perma-white teeth when he poses for the mirror in his bedroom. Perhaps some stilettos. They might give him a personality.

Sarah Palin

The Virgin Whore or The VILF (Vice-President I’d Like to Fudge). Hockey Mom chic is most commonly used. Wears red-peep toes to take advantage of the warmer climate – it’s hard to wear heels in the land of Eskimos. Rootin’ tootin’ power suits, and structured bags... but in there you’ll only find lipstick, a few dollars (with white presidents on all of them, she’ll have you know), and a calendar so she can track the Natural Method. That clearly never works since she has five kids... called Track, Trig, Piper, Bristol (currently seeded herself) and Willow. Bless the woman, she’s imaginative. I recommend: A neckpiece to hold her binoculars on them, just so she can check that Russia’s still there when she’s at home. A Louis Vuitton holster, in case any moose or homosexuals cross her path. A handbag sized defibrillator, to ensure McCain’s revival. Or, if she’s more sadistic, to wave in his face and taunt him as he slowly fades. And a voucher for MAC – they do decent lippy. 9

Desperate Times = Desperate Measures Aoife Harney We’re in a financial crisis. The gossip is that in a year we won’t be able to afford Tesco brand beans, let alone Heinz. Maybe that’s a little overdramatic but how will we cope with this lack of funds when it comes to our wardrobes? It’s simple, Reduce costs. Reuse clothes. Recycle stuff... anything really. You could be cheap and buy everything off E-Bay for €1. It pains me to write this but you could be even cheaper and follow these few tips: 1. College is full of dressy-uppy events. There’s the Law Ball, the Clubs and Socs Ball, the Science Ball, the Ball for the Sake of a Ball, the Christmas Ball and so on. The usual recommendation is black tie. How about black bag? They’re cheap, functional, and durable. Cut it up and fashion it into a one shoulder dress, pulled tight. No-one would know any different, it’d look just like pleather (plastic-leather)! As an added bonus, it’s totally water-proof. 2. For the men, tuxes are just an added expense. Did you know Lidl are now selling suits? Only if you absolutely must for I can’t condone Lidl-loving in any form when it comes to suits, but desperate times call for desperate measures I guess. 3. House parties are also a common occurrence on campus, and usually these involve glass breaking of some sort. Don’t be foolish and throw it away. I’m sure some engineer friends (everyone has at least one) can figure out a way to thread the shards together to create a fabulous neckpiece or a bracelet. Just be careful, there are usually sharp edges. No pain, no gain. 4. The 80s have made a come back, and I don’t just mean a recession... but the style itself. Go through your mom’s wardrobe. She’s bound to have something half wearable from back then. Patches are big. Borrow your dad’s oversized jumpers! Don’t knock anything till you try it... 5. Oil has gone up significantly in price to the point where we may have to choose between food or heating. Homeless people keep themselves warm by stuffing their clothes with newspaper. Don’t buy one, use this! Use An Focal. Use textbooks, everyone knows you don’t actually read them. 6. We have clothes already. You could always just wear them.

Whats Hot/ Whats Not Karen Kiely

Hot************** Barratts on Cruises Street’s closing down sale Get in there quick! It’s never been as acceptable to buy four pairs in one go. Heaven!.

Armani Face Fabric If you’re wealthy enough to afford this apparent miracle-worker, be sure to lend me some. The reviews of it make me drool a little.

Recession-chic Take a leaf out of Fiona’s book and style yourself in head-to-toe Penneys. Worn right, no one will ever know!

Wallis accessories A lot of their stock might appeal more to your mammy but no one beats their jewellery. Check it out and stock up!

Not************** Ballet ﬂats Yes, they’re cute. Yes, you own a pair in every colour. But the Irish weather makes them highly impractical (I’m still not gonna stop wearing them though).

Rip-off Republic Hearing friends’ stories of inexpensive J1 shopping binges is making me slightly jealous.

Flares/baggies etc I’m still sticking to skinnies and bootcut. Not ready for the ﬂashback-to-the-70s yet!

It’s going to be a tough time. But as my granny says, “This too shall pass!”

1111

************STYLESPOTTER Karen Kiely

Fiona Hogan 2nd year New Media and English

clothing? Green combats from River Island

Where did you buy your outﬁt? It’s all from Penneys...I’m such a Penneys whore!

What’s your biggest fashion mistake?White ﬂowery pants, a high-vis jacket and wellies at Oxegen.

Who or what inﬂuences your style? Magazines

What’s your weakness when it comes to fashion? Cardigans

What’s your favourite shop? Zara

What’s the best thing you ever found in your pocket? What about in my handbag? I came home after a night in Molly’s and found a bottle of perfume in it!

What’s the most you ever spent on an item of clothing? €60 on shoes from River Island What’s your best bargain buy? A dress from Wales that cost £1 and I wear it all the time! What’s your favourite item of

Comfort or style? Comfort.

Keith Jordan 1st year English and History

What’s your favourite item of clothing? Tracksuit pants

Where did you buy your outﬁt? Jacket - Topman. Everything else - Elvery’s

What’s your weakness when it comes to fashion? Don’t really have one

Who or what inﬂuences your style? Comfort!

How much would you spend per month on clothes? I rarely buy clothes

What’s your favourite shop? Elvery’s... or any sports shop.

What’s the best thing you ever found in your pocket? Money!

What’s the most you ever spent on an item of clothing? €100 on runners

What’s your opinion on socks and sandals? I’d wear socks, I wouldn’t wear sandals...

What’s your best bargain buy? I got this jersey for half price; €40.

Comfort or style? Comfort.

Elaine Feeney 3rd year Science Education Where did you buy your outﬁt? The coat is River Island, American Eagle top, Forever21 jeans and I got my boots in some random shoe shop in Laois Who or what inﬂuences your style? Cheryl Cole What’s your favourite shop? River Island What’s the most you ever spent on an item of clothing? €120 boots from Schuh What’s your best bargain buy? This coat, I got it for €50 - half price 12 12

What’s your opinion on socks and sandals? No, no, no! Even Jesus didn’t wear them!

What’s your favourite item of clothing? The boots from Schuh

What’s your biggest fashion mistake? A pink fake leather jacket I wore in ﬁfth class. My friends are always reminding me how awful it was! What’s your weakness when it comes to fashion? Don’t have one How much would you spend per month on clothes? I’d rarely buy clothes during college What’s the best thing you ever found in your pocket? Some randomer’s condom... unused. It was like ‘who has been wearing my jeans?!’. What’s your opinion on socks and sandals? I hate it. It’s nerdish Comfort or style? Comfort...with style.

Florida’s Travel Bug Kieran Costello

Florida: Cape Canaveral, Orlando, Miami, Disneyworld. Right? Wrong. Our road trip to ‘That Place That Gave Bush The Presidency’ took us through Lesser Spotted America: Mississippi and Alabama. No, Mississippi was not burning and um, neither was Alabama. We were headed, as our hosts cheerfully pointed out to us, to the “Redneck Riviera”, more politely known as the Emerald Coast, and the town of Destin. So this is where Cletus and family spend their summer holidays. As we got closer, the traffic got worse; obviously there was a reception committee waiting for us all. Unfortunately there wasn’t, so we decided to console ourselves with a spot of shopping. It had been, after all, a very stressful journey with all the driving. I, on the other hand, had spent the time in our Dodge Ram 1500 trying to think of all 50 states and trying to spot as many state registration plates as possible. Tough job, folks. But the good news: our condo was two minutes from the beach (oooh, white sand!), we could see the Gulf of Mexico from our balcony, and we had a big fridge. Our first day on the beach was marred after 30 minutes by rain. I’ve never seen a beach empty as fast. Made me feel right at home. What made me feel more at home was the Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola, which is located on Pensacola Naval Air Station. It’s full of big boys’ toys like machine guns, aeroplanes, bombs and the like. There were a bunch of F/A-18s flying around in preparation for an airshow. We wandered into an outside broadcast for Fox News, then headed to Hooters. A boys’ day out for myself and Mr. Smith. We even managed to get in some complaining about politicians. Not many visitors to the US manage to fit in a trip to hospital while there. I, however, managed two, though, sadly, the second wasn’t nearly as exciting as the first. You may recall

my time in Louisiana. On 3 July, we set off a significant quantity of fireworks, and mosquitoes ate a significant portion of my left leg. Unbeknownst to me, of course. It took a few days for the bites to show up, and by that stage we were in Florida. Then my left foot started swelling up a bit. Then a bit more, until it had taken on an interesting red complexion and it was hard to walk properly at times. It was suggested to me that saltwater would help reduce the swelling, so I spent as much time in the sea as possible. Two days of that and no progress - in fact, the opposite. It was now a rather angry purple/red colour and even more swollen. So eventually I had enough, and announced as much to Mrs. Smith. While Beloved rang the VHI, Mrs. Smith took on the role of Mammy and told me to head for the car. Turned on satnav and discovered that the nearest hospital was about 40 miles down the road. No problem, off we went into the night. We checked in: “Didn’t you know there’s a Sacred Heart hospital five miles from Destin?” Er, no. So we missed out on the chance to meet JD, Dr. Cox and friends. Instead I get hooked up to a drip for a hour and told that plonking my foot into the Gulf of Mexico wasn’t the best idea in the world due to Katrina and all the crap dumped into it back then. Then, having been so charmed by my Oirish accent, they invited me back a few days later, and offered me a wheelchair to get out to the car. Apparently my reaction to that would have soured milk. As a result I missed the deep-sea fishing trip the next day, and the resulting seasickness that almost everyone suffered from – but I enjoyed the BBQ we had from the catch. So, in a nutshell, that was Florida. We got plenty of sun, plenty of sand, plenty of food. The girls got their shopping done. We had a big family photograph at the end. It was time to go home.

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Glasgow, Scotland Aoife Ní Raghallaigh

Often, when people think of Glasgow they think of a city with a bit of a rough reputation. Instead it is an amazing city, with so much to offer to the willing tourist. Travelling to Glasgow couldn’t be easier. At present Ryanair are flying to Glasgow from both Shannon and Dublin, while Aer Lingus fly from Dublin. Although a bit more expensive, for me Aer Lingus is the best option for travelling to Glasgow. Ryanair will fly you into Prestwick Airport which is a 50 minute journey away from the city centre, once there is no traffic. Aer Lingus, on the other hand, fly to Glasgow Airport which is a stone’s throw from the city centre with roughly a 20 minute journey. A bus ticket from Glasgow Airport costs just under £5 and once traffic is light a taxi should cost no more than £20. Glasgow is unique in that it has a public transport system that actually works. In Glasgow, all buses are monitored by GPS tracking meaning that most bus stops you get a digital display telling you exactly and accurately how far away your bus as well as being warned of any delays. Most bus stops are serviced by three or four buses taking relatively similar routes so you generally won’t be waiting more than 10 minutes for a bus. Most journeys cost about £1 while a day ticket will set you back £3 and allow you unlimited travel throughout the city. Glasgow also has an underground rail system, the SPT, which runs on a circular track around the city. With a stop right in the middle of the main shopping street it is a great way to visit the West End, or the ‘posh’ part of Glasgow. If you wish to visit Edinburgh while in Glasgow, then the bus is your best option again. Buses run between Glasgow

and Edinburgh until 11pm or so, which allows you to spend a whole day in Edinburgh without time constraints. Bus journeys normally last an hour and cost about £10 if you use megabus.com. Engaging in some retail therapy while in Glasgow couldn’t be easier. The main shopping streets are laid out in a two-mile-long ‘Z’ shape making it easy to navigate. At the top Sauchiehall Steet runs west to east, joining Buchanan Street in the east. At the top of Buchanan Street is Buchanan Galleries, a huge shopping centre boasting more than 80 stores. At the end of Buchanan Street is Argyle Street with more shops, and another shopping centre, St. Enoch Shopping Centre. While this does sound amazing and every girl’s dream, it does get extremely repetitive. For instance, in Buchanan Galleries alone, there are two H&M stores, one at each end of the centre. Outside, Topshop and Zaavi border each other, and down on Argyle Street you’ll ﬁnd the exact same thing. There are only so many shops you can ﬁt in the one city. You can also visit the Merchant City area of Glasgow, which was designed to mirror Covent Garden in London. The area is more exclusive than the main shopping area with many designer shops and upmarket bars. Even if the shops are out of your price range, it is well worth taking a walk through the area after dark as it is light up beautifully. Culture-wise, Glasgow has more than enough to offer. Many, if not all, galleries and museums are free to enter and easily accessible by public transport so there’s no excuse. My personal favourite is the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. The Museum houses an impressive selection of art and also has an amazing natural history display. The temporary displays are normally quite good so it is worth checking out what events are on before arriving. The most scenic way to access the Kelvingrove is by Subway. Get off at either the Kelvinhall or Kelvingrove stop before taking a short walk through the gorgeous Kelvingrove Park to the Museum. A number of buses also stop directly outside the Museum. For the sports fans, Celtic Park and Ibrox Stadium are easily accessible from the city. Buses pass by both stadiums and tours are given daily. Be sure to pick up a souvenir at the Celtic Superstore at Celtic Park or any of the Rangers stores in the city

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly:

New York, New York! Aoife Breen

The Good 1. Statue of Liberty and the ferry ride over. Well worth it; even if it’s just for the very cooling breeze while on board. Certainly knocks down the sweating for a while. Also the Statue itself is a lot bigger in real life than you’d imagine from the movies! Ellis Island is also good for sending a chill down your spine as you step off the ferry like so many countless immigrants over the years. 2. Food - lots of it, all the time and for very prices to suit absolutely all budgets. Thoroughly ﬁlling breakfasts with all the works will keep you going from early morning until well into the afternoon or evening and will only set you back $5 or thereabouts. 3. At $11 students get a discounted rate into the American Museum of Natural History which is truly a bargain. Even if you’re not the museumy nor natural history type, you will get a kick 1. Broadway. Really. Incredibly overpriced and anything decent is booked out beyond far in advance. Go to a comedy gig instead - much cheaper and probably a lot more entertaining in the end.

The Bad

2. The Humidity in NYC can just sometimes be unbearable; add in some hot midday sunshine and you have yourself baking well into the ‘nineties’ (30s Celsius) in extremely close conditions. Fortunately, everywhere has ‘air-con’ so just get inside every 15 minutes or so for a break. 3. Attraction entry prices can eat into your wallet: $17 for the Empire State Building, $12 for Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island Immigration Museum, $11 for the American Museum of Natural History, $35 for Madame Tussauds...all adds up and they aren’t so keen on negotiating discounts for broke students either.

The Ugly

People posing for shots at the former site of the World Trade Center in the Financial District. I’m not an American patriot, but, really

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Whats on November December Tuesday 04 Who: Students’ Union What: Clubs & Socs Council Time: 18:00 Venue: CSG01 Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Who: ULSU Ents What: Penguin Session presenting Nell Bryden How much: €5 on the door Venue: 8pm, Scholars’ Club Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Wednesday 05 Who: G-Soc What: Console Day Time: 12:00 – 17:00 Venue: Room 3, Students’ Union Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS building Who: Skynet What: Social meet-up Time: 21:00 Venue: Scholars’ Club Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool 16

Thursday 06 Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Monday 10 Who: UL Arts Ofﬁce What: The Kite Runner Time: 18:30 Venue: Jonathan Swift Theatre, B1-023 Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS building Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Tuesday 11 Who: Students’ Union What: Class Reps’ Council Time: 18:00 Venue: CSG01

What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Wednesday 12 Who: G-Soc What: Console Day Time: 12:00 – 17:00 Venue: Room 3, Students’ Union Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS building Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Who: ULSU Ents What: Readings from Ross O’Carroll Kelly writer Paul Howard How much: free, free, free, yes, free Venue: 8pm, Jean Monnet Thursday13 Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building

Who: ULSU Ents What: BYO Comedy Club presents Jarlath Regan plus guests How much: €7 on the door Venue: 8pm, SU Common Room Extra Details: Bring your own drink, if you want (6 can limit, though!) It’s like a night in...except you’re out!

Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool

Who: DebU What: Debate: “TTHW Die for its Country” Time: 19:30 Venue: TBC

Monday 17 Who: UL Arts Ofﬁce What: The Orphanage (El Orfanato) Time: 18:30 Venue: Jonathan Swift Theatre, B1-023

Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Who: UL Kayak Club

Friday 14 Who: UL Windsurﬁng Club What: All Levels Trip Venue: Kerry Details: Contact Club for more information.

Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building

Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS building Tuesday 18 Who: Students’ Union What: Clubs & Socs Council Time: 18:00 Venue: CSG01 Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Who: DebU What: Freshers’ Mace Time: 19:30 Venue: Jonathan Swift Theatre, B1-023 Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Wednesday 19 Who: G-Soc What: Console Day Time: 12:00 – 17:00 Venue: Room 3, Students’ Union Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS building Thursday 20 Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool

Monday 24 Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS building Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Tuesday 25 Who: Stables Club What: Christmas Days Part I Time: all day and all night! Venue: Stables Club, of course! Who: Students’ Union What: Class Reps’ Council Time: 18:00 Venue: CSG01 Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Wednesday 26 Who: Stables Club What: Christmas Days Part II Time: all day and all night! Venue: Stables Club, of course! Who: G-Soc What: Console Day Time: 12:00 – 17:00 Venue: Room 3, Students’ Union Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Who: UL Capoeira Club What: training session When: 19:00 – 21:00 Where: Dance studio, PESS

building Thursday 27 Who: Stables Club What: Christmas Days Part III Time: all day and all night! Venue: Stables Club, of course! Who: Outdoor Pursuits Club What: Climbing Wall Time: 19:00-22:00 Venue: PESS building

Who: UL Kayak Club What: Pool Session Time: 21:45-22:45 Venue: Sports Arena Pool Who: Out in UL What: Santa’s Big Gay Snowballs Time: 10pm til late! How much: €5 before 11:30pm; €8 after. Venue: Bakers Underground

Study Week Wednesday 03

Who: Stables Club What: Karaoke Final Time: night time Venue: Stables Club, of course!

Exams 08 - 20 December

Mid-Semester Break 21 December 2008 until 26 January 2009

Semester 2 Monday, 26 January

What Not to Miss this Month: Tuesday, 11 November Who: ULSU Ents What: BYO Comedy Club presents Jarlath Regan plus guests Time: 20:00 Venue: €7 on the door at the SU Common Room (that’s upstairs in the Students’ Union) Two things to say about this gig 1. About the comedian - If you like your comedy smart and relentlessly funny then you’ll love Jarlath Regan. Whether on television or radio, in comedy clubs or corporate events, since 2003 Jarlath has been making audiences all over Ireland and the U.K. howl with laughter at his inspired oneliners, razor-sharp observations and twisted greeting cards. A ﬁnalist in the BBC and Channel 4 new comedy awards at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, today he is recognised as the “one to watch” in the new generation of exciting comedians emerging from Ireland. His recent tv show “no one knows Jarlath Regan” now means that some people do indeed know Jarlath Regan...here’s your chance to join the in crowd. 2. About the Gig - We have noticed crowd numbers dropping off at comedy gigs so we decided to try a new format. We’ve decided to run it upstairs in the SU in the common room. It’s a ‘bring your own’ gig so

once you pay admission you can Bring Your Own drink. It makes for a cheap night out and with all the couches up there you could call it a night in! Come along and check it out. Who knows? If it goes well we might do more than just comedy up there... Tuesday 25, Wednesday 26 and Thursday 27, November Who: Stables Club What: Christmas Days 2008 Time: All day; all night Venue: Stables Club Ah, the time has come to pull out those Santa hats and get your tinsel ready for the annual charity fundraiser, the one and only Christmas Days. Back again this year as part of the long term tradition at UL, prepare for three days of festive madness to the soundtrack of cheesy Christmas tunes belting out across the Student Centre all with the hope of collecting more than last year’s €17,000 for charity. Tickets go on sale at 3pm on Thursday, 6 November...get yours before they’re gone...and they will be gone! Tuesday, 11 November Who: DebU What: Debate on the motion, ‘that this house would die for its country’ Time: 19:30 Venue: TBC

In Dr Ant and ink icip Pre, Ac atio dic tion n o tab , P f G ilit rod irls y uc , C t P ar lac s, Avid t he B ond em Hy p F e S u a n Finn r ro M e u nd

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A chaotic fusion of fast imagery, loud bangs, an engine roaring and bullets ricocheting in a cloud of dust and Bond is well on his way to smashing yet another Aston Martin as he powers it down a dirt track followed by several of the villain’s ﬁnest henchmen - each one doomed from the moment he auditioned for the part. Yes, I’m talking about the Bond trailer of course, which has caused pangs of anticipation in every Bond fan, the world over. Bond arrived on our screens recently in what can only be described as yet another predictable installment of a predictable series that’s trying to be rough and ready like Die Hard, yet slick and sophisticated, like the Bourne series. Quantum of Solace will be the 22nd bond movie and sees Daniel Craig take on the roll for a second time, sporting the usual goodies strategically placed by Sony Pictures. Products starring alongside Craig in the new ﬁlm include the old favourites: an Omega watch, Armani suits and a Sony Ericsson phone or two. You know, the type of phone Bond might set on a bar while glancing at a Sony Bravia and ordering a Smirnoff, later making eye contact with a stunner who he sleeps with before she betrays him at which point he may or may not have fallen in love with her. And by the way, on a point of fact, Bond’s original favourite drink was not vodka, martini or the two combined. It was in fact Bourbon whiskey and Scotch whisky, with a total of ninety nine pours in the combined books and movies. Oh and of course, there’s the new title song - which is getting coverage everywhere. From radio where DJs hype excitedly (much like I’m doing now), to TV where Coca Cola is using our favourite broken hearted orphan to sell their sugar-juice. Ching ching; and Sony Pictures makes another couple of million. Nothing like some brand recognition. But back to the song. I imagine you’ve heard it; in all its strangeness. It’s unusual, catchy and interesting. But it’s no Chris Cornell. It doesn’t disappoint as a Bond tune, but there’s something annoying about it. You want to hear it, but when you hear it you wonder why you’re listening. And as soon as it’s over, you want to hear it again, just in case. If this is Alicia Keys’ and Jack White’s brainchild, let’s hope they don’t have a lovechild. So as James Bond begins to get more airtime than Joe the Plummer, Barbara Broccoli will be stepping out of her BMW (or whatever car maker made the highest bid) onto the red carpet in a frenzy of photographers. And she’ll introduce the stars to HRH the Queen. Chuffed M’am. I realise I’ve just written a review of the anticipation for the new Bond movie - and the anticipation’s just that great. Or perhaps it just seems that way. I am on CoOp, after all. So rush off and get your widgets, screensavers and wallpapers at www.007.com and while you’re at it, why not let your anticipation get the better of you and take one last look at the trailer so that you know the best bits off before you hit the cinema. I will. Probably because I’m a total Bond nerd. 18 18

I’d love to give you an insightful piece on how the rise of the superhero movie can be attributed to the increased need for escapism in our bleak post 9/11 world. Unfortunately, I’m not that clever or deep! Instead, I’m going to look back at the good, the bad and ugly superhero movies of recent years. Keep in mind that I’m a huge comic fan (some might say nerd), try to excuse my enthusiasm! The genre had reached a low point in 1997, when the abysmal Batman and Robin left cinema goers with a bad taste in their mouths. Even my simple, easily-pleased 10 year old self found the film a dissatisfying experience. At this point, I assumed that the superheroes I so loved would be confined to comics and cartoons. Fast forward to 2000, when X-Men restored my faith that superheroes movies could be taken seriously. The costumes were cool and the acting was convincing, that was all I needed (Keep in mind that I was 13, so stuff like cinematography was beyond me). My only problem was that the film was too short, I was left wanting much more. Two years later, Spiderman filled the gap. Spidey was (and is) my favourite superhero, so this film was something of a revelation. Even villain’s silly costume didn’t bother me! What I didn’t realise at the time was that Spiderman had gotten the ball rolling; the superhero genre was getting bigger. The following year, X-Men 2 picked up where the last one had left off, giving us the epic we’d been hoping for. It took the characters established in the first movie, added some more and sent them off on a far grander adventure. In 2004, Spiderman 2 followed a similar path, giving us yet another hugely enjoyable blockbuster. 2005 saw the release of Batman Begins, which disregarded the events of the previous Batman movies and started afresh. It seems some messes aren’t worth clearing up! It’s a good thing too, since Batman Begins was (arguably) the best superhero movie to date. Its tone and casting were near flawless; the joke of the genre had struck back. The following year was less successful. X-Men 3 suffered from the typical threequel problem of having too much going on. Characters were casually and unnecessarily killed, with minimum emotional impact. Superman Returns suffered from the opposite problem: not much happened. While well made, it was overlong and too much like a love letter to the older Superman movies. 2007 saw the release of Spiderman 3, which suffered from very similar problems to X-Men 3. Last summer was the biggest so far, with release of Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. These two were very enjoyable in their own right, but also serve a larger purpose. They each contain a small scene that hints at the formation of the Avengers, a superhero team. This movie will be released in 2011, with team members Captain America and Thor getting their own movies beforehand. I suspect that it’ll be pretty epic! Of course, no look at last summer’s superhero movies would be complete without turning to the big one: The Dark Knight. I hardly need to say much about it; everyone went to see it! It was released relatively late in the summer and anticipation had reached a fever pitch. To say that it performed well would be an understatement, it became the second highest grossing movie in the US (after Titanic). From my perspective, it was pretty close to flawless. Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker dominated the entire movie. Even when he wasn’t on screen, I found myself wondering what he was up. Rarely has chaos been so perfectly embodied. While the next sequel hasn’t been confirmed, it’s only a matter of time. It’s hard to imagine it bettering TDK though!So, what to look forward to? Later this year, Punisher War Zone and The Spirit will be out. Punisher has been in two atrocious movies over the years, I don’t expect this to be much better. The Spirit was an early superhero and should be worth a look. Next year sees the release of Watchmen and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Watchmen is based on the brilliant graphic novel of the same name, I advise you to read it before seeing the movie. Since Wolverine was the star of the three X-Men films, you know what to expect. The movie explores the popular character’s mysterious past, something tells me it’ll go down well.

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Making Sense of the US Election Dr. Philo

For nearly two years we’ve been wrapped up by a Presidential election in the United States - an election that will undoubtedly have effects reaching far beyond the borders of that country which will affect us all. For nearly two years now we’ve watched and listened to well over a dozen candidates explain why they’re the best one for the job - and we’ve watched this circus dwindle down to two acts: a young, multicultural everyman with a progressive (possibly overambitious) vision and a cantankerous, temperamental old soldier who has quite often been the scorn of his own American right-wing because of his historical appeal to common fiscal sense over reactionary religious populism. As RTE’s Mark Little recently put it: it’s a new generation battling hard against “the best of the old.” At the end of the day, however, and after all of the rhetorical slogans, campaign promises, and conflicting visions for the future have been laid out - about 40 per cent of the US population will be pissed off either way when all of the votes (hopefully this time) are counted. At this point we should be looking within ourselves and asking: why the hell is this country’s election so much more dramatic and seemingly fatalistic than any other elections in the Western world...which seem to take a lot less time to start and end? Why does this election seem so much more important? This hyper-dramatic, seemingly Shakespearian, saga is highly reflective of two key features of the individual and collective American psychology: American Exceptionalism and the idea of America possessing some sort of “special destiny,” as neo-Gramscians Craig Murphy and Enrico Augelli put it way back in 1988. As Murphy and Augelli hinted, and I’m quick to even more strongly emphasize, this has everything to do with a single, collective American “worldview,” of which the nature of said “worldview” is contested every four years or so between 40 per cent of the population and 40 per cent of the population over the hearts and minds of 20 per cent of the population who aren’t as stubborn and/or simple as the more dogmatic 80 per cent of the population. The worldview of the “Right” as we know it in the US (mainly represented by the Republican/Grand Ole Party, or GOP) and the worldview of the “Left” (which is not really “left” by the rest of the world’s standard; mainly represented by the Democratic Party) both agree on the “Special Destiny” of the United States. This (roughly) summed up, means the general belief that Planet Earth is ‘going places’ and the United States is the natural leader of the world’s progression through time and space, appointed by God and/or Fate (sometimes perpetuated by Superman in films), and, yes, that is very as sumptuous and ever-so-slightly pretentious. It is the nature of this journey that is contested by the respective 40 per cent factions of the US population. The nature of this journey can be directly traced back to the conflicting theologies of denominational religion. Please remember that the US is about as religious a country as Iran; they’ve a lot more in common than they admit to! The “Right” 40 per cent is ideologically determined by the Calvinist doctrine and concept of an “Elect”, that some individuals and nations (like the US, UK and Israel) are pre-ordained by God as “Elect” or “Righteous” because of various Old Testament schisms. Hyper-Calvinists would even say that the poor are poor because it is God’s Will and why should we redistribute tax monies to create social programmes for their betterment and attempt to alter God’s plan? Iran and other nations are “Evil,” and so are its inhabitants; they used to say the same thing about Russia - and some are starting to say it again. America is fulfilling its “Special Destiny” as an “Elect” country of God. The “Left” 40 per cent is ideologically determined by what I will call (very broadly) Arminian theology, which dictated such movements such as the “Social Gospel” - the idea that America has a “Special Destiny” and it is the duty of America to help downtrodden individuals and nations with tax monies, and convert so-called “rogue nations” back to “the Light” of the “American Way” - whatever that really is. The really scary thing is that the Hyper-Calvinists (Right) believe that Jesus will only come back once the world gets as bad as it’s going to get and there’s a huge war in the Middle East involving loads of countries. The Arminians (Left) believe that we’ve to make the world as good as it can get before Jesus will come back. It really all goes back to St. Augustine’s and Thomas Aquinas’ differing views on human nature, but the Calvinist/Arminian theological divide much more directly dictated the terms of American denominational theology. You may think I’m overanalyzing all of this, my friends, but listen to the rhetoric; look at the battle lines; and always bear in mind the role of denominational religion in the United States and the contradictory collective worldview that is American Exceptionalism and their overinflated notions of some “Special Destiny” that they possess! Either way: 40 per cent of America will be pissed off; hopefully it won’t be the 40 per cent who own lots of guns and think the world is ending soon! 20

The Month in Pixels: Snaps taken by UL PhotoSoc, Pulse, HughO’Brien and other voyeurs in the Stables.

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A Christmas Carol...UL Style It’s completely against my principles to mention Christmas when it’s still October, but given the deadlines and publishing requirements of Pulse there didn’t seem to be much other choice. Hmmm. Anyhow, for all the fi rst years out there gazing wide-eyed in wonder, Christmas Days are an annual week 12 tradition of the fi rst semester encouraging everyone to get caught up in the festive mood of the season before launching headlong into stress, study and exams. It’s one last hip-hip-hooray and you even get to wear a Santa hat during the day, too. I remember my own fi rst Christmas Days back in the wonder years. It was December, 2004. I was bright-eyed, young and completely vulnerable to the then two-day madness. I recall dashing, like a reindeer, between the Stables and the Scholars Clubs (when the Scholars was the SU shop). There weren’t any tickets then; just a requested charity donation into a bucket on the door. The whole campus was caught up in it all. Menus in all the eateries boasted turkey and ham, stuffi ng and gravy. Tinsel fell loosely from various rafters and beams. Strings of garishly coloured baubles became the new fashion accessory for both male and female students. The more green and red you could wear the better. The microcosm of UL transformed into the Christmas wonderland espoused by snow globes for a couple of days. It was magic; sheer magic. Christmas Days have evolved since then; the event is now a three-day occasion since 2006. One could imagine that it’s trying to represent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and St Stephen’s Day, perhaps, if one was so romantically inclined. It’s also a lot more exclusive now and better managed; no more rampaging crowds prancing in the courtyard trying to squeeze past Ents Crew as the introduction of pre-sold tickets ensured that there was some regulation on the numbers trying to sing along to Wham! in the campus clubs. Of course, the whole rationale behind the early festive madness is to raise money for charities – local charities, in particular. Last year, between ticket sales and bucket collections, over m17,000 was raised during the three days of celebration. Not bad, eh? Be warned: You’ll need high stamina and a penchant for all things red and green to survive UL’s Christmas. So, whip out your Now! That’s What I Call DJ Ber’s Cheesiest Christmas Tunes compilation CD and get practicing. There will be no more chart-topping hits for three smashing days and nights in the Stables as Mariah Carey, Band Aid and Kylie all win out the air time. To get you into the festive cheer even sooner, the Students’ Union is also participating in the annual ‘Operation Christmas Child’ this year. Basically, you fi ll an empty shoebox with simple trinkets and toys for a child in another part of the world who might not receive any other gifts this Christmas. Pick up your box from the Students’ Union – along with some gift ideas and guidelines - and return it by Friday of week 10 (14 November) to have it brighten a child’s day this Christmas. Make sure you have your club sticker on the back of your ID card for Christmas Days, however, as these events are strictly members-only and you might have your Christmas spoilt without one. Get the sticker from the Students’ Union with photographic age ID.

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When: Christmas Days 2008 - November 25 to 27 inclusive. Where: Stables and Scholars Clubs Tickets: Tickets for the Stables on sale from 3pm on Thursday, 6 November.

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One to watch...

Jarlath Regan If you like your comedy smart and relentlessly funny, then you’ll love Jarlath Regan. Whether on television or radio, in comedy clubs or corporate events, since 2003 Jarlath has been making audiences all over Ireland and the UK howl with laughter at his inspired one-liners, razor-sharp observations and twisted greeting cards.

A ﬁnalist in the BBC and Channel 4 new comedy awards at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, today he is recognised as the “one to watch” in the new generation of exciting comedians emerging from Ireland. His recent tv show ‘No One knows Jarlath Regan’ now means that some people do indeed know Jarlath Regan. Here’s your chance to join the in crowd When: 8pm, Tuesday, 11 November, week 10 Where: SU Common Room Tickets: €7 on the door Added Bonus: Bring your own drink!! Yeah!! (Six can limit though!.)

Ten Seconds on...

Ross O’Carroll Kelly, royt.

Who is he: Loike, a toadally admirable goy from south Dublin. Date of Birth: : In January 1998 he ﬁrst appeared in The Sunday Tribune Names that might ring a bell: Previous masterpieces brought to you by Ross include The Miseducation Years introducing the goy himself and Sorcha, as well as This Champagne Mojito is the Last Thing I Own, the second latest book. Sounds like: Loike, toadally go along and ﬁnd out for yourself. Badges of Honour: This Champagne Mojito is the Last Thing I Own was shortlisted for the 2008 Irish Book Award for Popular Fiction. Ross O’Carroll Kelly creator Paul Howard will read from the next installment in Ross’ life, Mr S and the Secrets of Andorra’s Box, in the Monnet in week 10 When: 8pm, Wednesday, 12 November, Week 10 Where: In the Jean Monnet Tickets: Free, free, free, free, no charge we said!

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Cathy Davey is one artist carving her own amongst Irelands many other artists. Indeed as I interview her she sternly instructs me that she never categorises herself into any set genre. Her music equates to her evident persona - sassy yet warm and ultimately intriguing. Cathy Davey is one of Ireland’s most successful singersongwriters to break out in recent years. Her delicate and at times sensual voice echoes out her feisty often venomous lyrics. Her 2004 album Something Ilk exposed her to the market with universally positive reviews. It was her 2007 album Tales of Silversleeve however that propelled her to even greater commercial success. It garnered her a Choice Music Prize Nomination for 2007 album of the year. It also resulted in her winning a Meteor Music Award for Best Irish Female. When I asked her about winning the Meteor Award she seemed reluctantly pleased yet in slight contempt of the whole awards ceremony. David Morrissey She branded the “showbiz and glitz” as “complete bullshit” in a feisty tone. Her stance again emulated her feistiness and individuality in her music.Tales of Silversleeve is a great record oozing with indie pop panache and served with lashings of jazz. The whole record displays Cathy’s superb ability to mould simple song structures into something of her own mystique. Renowned rock journalist Jim Carroll said “Every time I hear the album, I find something new on it to think about”-a rare feat it is to receive such an acknowledgment. Cathy cited Burt Bacharach and Tom Waits as important influences to her but she was quick to quench the notion that the media hold-that she is only influenced by female artists such as PJ Harvey or Kate Bush just because she too is a female singer-songwriter. She insisted that “I am influenced by a whole spectrum-male and female”. Many artists claim to delve into a plethora of genres when creating music but few alter their live performances to explore a genre directly. Being the stubborn individual that she is Cathy chose not to abide by the style of her albums and decided to treat the UL give with a more stripped down-tempo jazzy feel performance.It was surprising to see little over a hundred people attend Cathy’s gig in the Jean Monnet that night-the recession must have been on peoples minds. It was blatantly evident that this was to be a stripped down performance as very few instruments donned the stage. Cathy arrived onstage with two accompanying musicians in tow. Cathy explained to me that there was an involuntary motive to having a stripped down show in the fact that many of her fellow touring members have other commitments. There is an element of improvisation to her tour. I discovered that this fact also transcended into her setlist. The set involved a collection of covers of yesteryear and stripped down versions of her own material. A set list that consisted of 13 songs contained 5 covers. I personally found this quite odd considering she had two albums of quality material to draw upon. But as the night progressed the method behind the madness began to unravel. There was a well thought consistency to the performance. Altough there were moments intermittently that distracted the audience from the flow-namely Cathy and co. deciding what to do next. Cathys instinctive nature to what she knows best prevailed. Between several songs she apologised to the crowd for not playing in the upbeat fashion that she normally does. I felt this was just to cover her back as she clearly wanted to go out and do her own thing to see how it would turn out.Each cover was given its deserved treatment but it was her approach to her own material. Songs such as “Reuben” and “Sing for your Supper” were handled more delicately than usual. Cathy caressed the lyrics in such a sultry manner while her fellow musicians felt their way through the motions. It was quite refreshing to see an artist open their material up to a much a rawer state. It was her newly demonstrated approach on her own material which relieved the audience of moments of indifference as they became alienated by the covers she played. She finished with an astounding performance of “All of You” nodding to her delicate and vulnerable side. Cathy and co. then exited stage left only to reamerge moments later. What followed was a captivating performance of Ella Fitzgerald’s “Cry me a River”. She delivered it so directly and delicately with her melting voice. As far as live performances go it wasn’t spectacular by any means. The set list was a tad scattered at times and there was a period or two where one found themselves losing attention. But Cathy’s voice is flawless and her fellow musicians coped tremendously with a new approach to the material. It was quite admirable of her to have a stab at something different. Cathy demonstrated that she is not an artist that will plough their trade by playing the same songs in the same same way all over the country all of the time (take note the Blizzards, the Sawdoctors etc.)

The Flawless sound of Cathy Davey

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Out on her own: David Morrissey

Lisa Hannigan

The ﬁrst time I witnessed Lisa Hannigan live was at the Electric Picnic 2006. This was a time when she was the accompanying vocalist for Damien Rice. Back then she portrayed a timid and reserved presence on stage. There was a certain element of her performance that jutted out however-that element being her voice. Proof was also on Damien Rice’s albums (especially the song “9 crimes” on “9”). A subtle yet omnipresent splendour adorns those albums thanks to her. Yet there was never any room for her to unleash her talent to its utmost potential. Times have changed.

She has since left Damien’s grasp and has now given the nation what they bayed for everytime they heard a sample of her vocal prowess-a solo album. “Sea Sew” was released on the 12th of September 2008. The album is a gem finding its own in the indie-folk bracket. It begins and ends with a sound of blissful serenity with moments of downtempo yearning and snippets of jazz thrown in intermittently. There is a certain innocence or childlike quality to her music. Lisa herself described it as “plinky-plonk rock” during our interview. She notes her influences to range from Joni Mitchell to Elbow. There are also periods of bite and despair in the album which give it a natural equilibrium. The song “Teeth” bares a theme of the tiredness of love. This song forecasts the power of her voice as opposed to her well known half-whispered approachthis was something I relished to hear live at the Jean Monnet. The Jean Monnet was sold out for this eagerly anticipated gig. Incense caressed the air and the stage was dotted with small lighting lanterns. There was an evidently warm, soothing atmosphere in the room. As Lisa and her band hit the stage it is obvious that she has become more comfortable in her own skin. Lisa assumes a much more confident and assured stance ready to jump right into the music. I asked her was the confidence issue something she had to deal with as a solo artist. She enthusiastically answered that it was but that she also learnt that she “had to try to find the fun in it”.

It was the songs that gave light to Lisa s superb voice were the ones that proved to be the highlights. “Venn Diagram” was one of these. Initially her voice creeps softly in the songs sequence, then steadily gathering pace and projection to grip the listener. As with the album- it is the song “Teeth” that stood out from the set. Lisa delivered the song so eloquently, holding the dexterity of her voice and the varying harmonies of the song in perfect unison. Watching her sing this was something to behold. She gave it her all as the words bellowed deeply from her gut, evaporating on impact with the air to sound like... well, absolute bliss. In the meantime her band were striking the notes with similar proﬁciency following her on her every breath.

They finished the set with a thumping cover of Iron and Wine’s song “Free Until They Cut Me Down”. A much deserved standing ovation followed as the band scurried off-stage. They returned moments later (again to a standing ovation) to give and encore. They played “Lille”-the first single release from the album. This soothing number was delivered quite beautifully cementing the notion of Lisa’s voice being something almost magical and indicating that she has got serious talent. They leave to another standing ovation. It appears that the best is yet to come as Lisa removes the shackles of being “best known for accompanying Damien Rice” (according to Wikipedia). This description of her is one she sternly plans to eradicate. For the future she admitted to still needing to grow musically and it would “take a while to get myself together”. It has been well worth the wait for Lisa to break out on her own. A beautiful flower has well and truly blossomed.

It was really refreshing to watch Lisa and co. enjoying themselves onstage. It cer tainly exacerbated the warm and inviting atmosphere surrounding the performance. Playful smiles are exchanged between the group throughout the set. Of course Lisa has been playing with some of them for Damien Rice period. Lisa admits this to be an extra reason to grace the stage as a solo artist more conﬁdently: “It is nice to look around and have your mates there-it makes it a lot easier”. The set consisted of all the songs off “Sea Sew”. There was a well-instrumented progression layed out in the set. At no point during the performance could the audience ﬁnd themselves distracted. The crowd were almost numb throughout as Lisa and co. enthralled them. 25 25

The River Valley Band Aoife Ní Raghallaigh

Did you get to see the The River Valley Band at the Fresher’s Ball a few weeks ago? If not you should be kicking yourself for missing out on such a great opportunity. The River Valley Band hail from Kilkenny and is comprised of ﬁve very talented musicians. Each member is a native of Kilkenny and at present the line up consists of Danny Coady (Vocals, Mandolin, Rhythm Guitar), Conor Brett (Lead Guitar, Vocals), Eoghan Leadbetter (Piano, Rhythm Guitar), Liam Teehan (Bass) and David Thompson (Drums). Conor Brett and Liam Teehan are both currently students at UL. The band has been together for quite a while now but each individual member has gained much experience as a musician having all been regulars on the Kilkenny music scene for years. The River Valley Band describes themselves as ‘Southern Rock’ or a ‘Jam Band’ on their Myspace although their sound can also be easily described as folkrock or bluegrass. They play an incredibly distinctive style of music that is a welcome change from the generic poprock so popular in the current charts. The upbeat tempos and distinctive vocals set them miles apart from all their counterparts. In fact it is nearly impossible to compare to another contemporary band. Instead one has to look to the likes of The Band or The Travelling Wilburys to strike a fair comparison. Another thing which increases the divide between The River Valley Band and their peers is their willingness to epitomise the Southern Rock genre. For the band it is not enough to simply play folk-rock music, they dress the part as well. The River Valley Band members are normally seen on stage decked out check-shirts, blazers and wide brim hats. The only thing missing is a bit of straw artfully dangled from the corner of a mouth or a pot to spit chewing tobacco into. Having gigged consistently for the past while, The River Valley Band has already developed a large fan base in Kilkenny and the surrounding areas and it’s only a matter of time before their popularity spreads even further. Keep an eye on their Myspace, www.myspace. com/therivervalleyband, for information on upcoming gigs and news about their E.P., ‘Drunk in the Wine Cellar’.

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If you are in a band that are going to be the Next Big Thing or if you’ve discovered a band who are better than the best then let us know by emailing: ulnextbigthing@gmail.com

y t r a P s u n o B a Super Extr y David Morrisse Party will rock your s nu Bo tra Ex r Supe the type of music ate world. SEBP cre th an uncontrollable that trigger s you wi through your body twitch that rustles n imminent implosio which leads to an ed nd pe de life ur yo leaving you dancing like algamates various on it. Their music am ere are heav y doses musical genres . Th ie and hip hop – all of electronica , ind zed up funky vibe. exacerbated by a jaz als and Battles are Supe r Furry Anim of their influences . clocked in as some en tra te d into their The ener gy co nc an ular. There is such mater ial is spec tac shapes d an ds un so of ge ener getic barra . sly infec tious beats coupled ridiculou red of e os erd ov an Think Hot Chip on Sound and Vision The top 5 music videos in circulation Youtube ‘em! 1. Laura Marling - Night Terror: An incredible and insightful piece of work from this 18 year old singer-songwriter. Prepare to be enchanted 2. Kanye West - Love Lockdown: One of Kanye’s finest tunes todate with an ambiguous video to display his artistic voyeur 3. M.I.A - Paper Planes: This thumping little tune has been re-released and as a result has been getting an increased amount airplay. If you have the Beastie Boys doing a cameo in your video you are doing very well for yourself 4. Santogold - Lights Out: This video demonstrates perfectly the endearment that can be created when you mesh arty visuals proficiently with the music 5. Bloc Party - Talons: To be honest, it’s not the best of tunes from Bloc Party but top marks for the dramatic acting and use of the colour blue to match the songs supposed mood (not very subtle though..) more poppy punch.

ir kind of close to the Sk ittles and you are re da Kil m fro ate igin sound.The group or seven member s in and currently have MC Rodr igo from their line up including Nialler9 (awardd Sau Paulo, Br azil an er) on visuals. Their winning Irish blogg s “Super Ex tra Bonu debu t album titled 07. 20 13 ril Ap on sed Party LP ” was relea most inventive Irish It was dubbed “The ”. On January 20 08 album of this decade the Choice Music for it wa s nominated alent to the Mercury Prize (Ireland’s equiv h album of the year Music Pr ize) for Iris ard beating off stiff 20 07. It won that aw m Ca th y Da ve y, co m pe tit io n fro isin Murphy. Ro Dolerentos and

The Cherry on Top David Morrissey

In Tune Bands that are keeping it so fresh right now TV on the Radio Their new album “Dear Science” is one of the freshest pieces of music released this year encompassing every workable genre imaginable www.myspace.com/tvotr Mr. Scruff The much loved DJ that bangs out the best in jazz, soul, electro and funk is back with a new album called “Ninja Tuna” www.myspace.com/mrscruffofﬁcial AC-DC Oh yeah....new album and playing the new Point Theatre (which sold out in minutes) www.myspace.com/acdc Rarely Seen Above Ground This is Jeremy Hickeys (from Kilkenny) one man drummer project-probably the most innovative artist in Ireland at present www.myspace.com/R.S.A.G Oasis The Gallagher’s have ﬁnally made an album of some credibility since “What’s the Story...” It’s about time really. www.myspace.com/oasis

Famous Last Word of the Month: R ain

Famous Last Word s

I took a trip up to Dublin recently, and like a small sprat in a big ocean I was bamboozled by the bright lights and tall buildings of The City. And saturated by the rain. At the same time, I witnessed everything that I love and hate about this country all within the few short hours that I was there. As soon as I arrived into Heuston (I’m not sure if it was on time or not - I didn’t bother checking before I departed Limerick), I waited for the Luas into the centre. One soon arrived. Marked for Tallaght. A confused lady next to me whispered, “Is this the right one for town?” I nodded as I shuffled on myself. Of course it was; and despite the fact that it heralded each and every stop en route to Connolly as being Tallaght and the last stop, we all accepted this as normal. I got off at the Jervis Centre because already my feet were drenched and I knew I’d have to get a dry pair of socks to save my toes. I splashed my way to Penneys (where else?) and stood in front of the rows of socks, pondering. Really, there was so much choice and all I wanted was dry feet. In the end it came down to two pairs of knee-high ski socks or five pairs of ankle. I thought about this as rationally as I could and decided that, seeing as my jeans were soaked up to knee level I was better off getting the knee-highs as they’d at least keep my legs dry. So two pairs of knee-highs it was. I peeled off the dripping offenders wrapping my frozen, clammy toes and pulled on the fresh socks. I’m sure you understand how difficult it is to pull on dry socks on cold, wet feet. Between Penneys and Trinity College I somehow managed to start squelching again. This bloody country. I continued on my journey out to the south-side on the number 11 bus. As I perched close to the driver who had promised me he’d remind me of the stop closest to my destination, a middle-aged lady jumped on who was 10c short of the fare. “No worries, ma’am; another day, sure.” An elderly gentleman got on. The bus pulled out before he had reached the safety zone of his seat, thrusting him into full swing around the pole on which he had a firm grip. The slippy wet floor didn’t help much either. He chuckled and added, “I’m some dancer, amn’t I?” before nestling into a seat, keeping that firm grip on the pole and wiping the droplets of rainwater from his spectacles while gazing blindly into the sheets of rain outside.. In a world laced with the froth toppings on our frappucinos and our cappuccinos, Ireland is still nothing more than a damp, happy-go-lucky nation consumed by cynicism, sarcasm and low expectations. Sure, if you don’t expect much you can’t be disappointed. As exam season approaches, I’d be wary to offer the same advice to students; it’s not really the most positive way of entering into one’s study process. Instead, from my now-finished 17 years of formal education and bi-annual exam taking, I can tell you that as time squeezes in on itself and you find yourself lost in an unknown world of lecture notes and colourful study timetables, make choices. Choose either topic A or topic B, not both. And even if the topic you didn’t study comes up, you’ll still manage to write enough waffle to scrape through. I’m sure of it. My feet were still squelching when I boarded my return train back to the safety of my Limerick home. I probably should have gotten the five pairs of ankle socks after all. But my toes survived. Good luck in December and see you next year,

Breenie