Ultra Vires Vol 7 Issue 5: 2006 February

THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO FACULTY OF LAW

ULTRA

VIRES

VOLUME 7 ISSUE 5 FEBRUARY 14, 2006

~~tario law schools contemplate switch to J:D~ Dn vmg force behind "movement" is student governments, not administration

BY AMY SMELTZER

U ofT may soon lose its five-year monop-

~ly as Canada's only I D.-granting institution. Student societies at four of the five other law schools m Ontano committed to seriously considering following suit at a tele-conference of law society presidents on Feb. 7, says Chris Lee, president of the Student Legal Society at the University of Western Ontario. Only the University of Ottawa, which was absent, did not comm1t.

Lee says that many students believe that having a J.D. (Juris Doctor) rather than an LL.B. (B_achelor of Laws) will promote access to mtemational jobs and more accurately reflect the educational achievements of law students in the Canadian system. In all other Commonwealth countries, LL.B. s~dents are often adm1tted d1rectly out of h1gh school, whereas in Canada, more than 90 per cent of students have completed a three- or four-year degree In Aus tralia, everdl universities award the J.D . to students with previous degrees <lr significant work experie nce and the LL.B. to all o ther students.

"Anyone who knows the two degrees would know that the J.D. requires more education [than LL.B.s in general], so if anything having a J.D. would give us a global advantage," Lee says. He explains that some American firms assume that, as in the UK, most Canadian Ll B. students have fewer academic qualifications than American J.D. holders, reducing the1r chances of securing employment. "Our career services officer even suggests to students applying to New York firms that they put in brackets after LL.B. equivalent to an American J.D.'," he says.

Jack1e Swaisland, president of the Law Student Society at Queen's University, says that the LL.B. designation also can disadvantage graduates who work outside North America. One Queen's grad reported that her Hong Kong firm automatically pays J.D. holders more the LL.B. holders, she says.

Although some people, such as U ofT Professor Jim Phillips, support the LL.B. as reflective of Canada\ t1es to the Commonwealth legal system. Lee says these shouldn't influence institutional

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Cabl szerze, Celia Cenua, James Rickert, Effie K, and Andrew Pllllar ham It up for Law Follies See page 16-17 for photos decisions about degree des1gnation "The point of a degree is to denote your educational achievements and that needs to be our con~ideration in examining what degree to confer. not what legal system the country has," he says.

The adoption of the J.D. 10 Canada is also criticized as be10g misleadmg because unlike an American J.D., it is not accredited by the American Bar Association.

Without an ABA-accrcdited degree, Canadian law school graduates cannot wnte bar examinatiOns 10 any American states other than New York and Massachusetts unless they have been called to the bar in another jurisdiction first.

Osgoodc Hall, The University of Ottawa and The University of Windsor arc the currently the only Canadian law schools otTer-

ing joint programs with Amen can schools Until last year, these concerns have where students can cam both a Canadian blocked any movements to other schools LL.B. and an Amencan J.D. challenging U of T's monopoly as Despite strong arguments in favor of Canada's only J.D.-granting institution. adoptmg a J.D., Lee and Swaisland say that without the support of other law schools, CONTlNUED P.3 the move could be a public relations disaster.

"We don't want to be perceived as trying to be like U ofT," Lee says. "We think we have something very unique to otTer . . and we don't want to be perceived as thinking CHUCK NORRIS P.7 any differently. There's a substantial number of admin, faculty and students who arc ARNIE'S 40TH YEAR P.S concerned about that perception."

GRADES SCANDAL P.12 "There's a lot of anti-U ofT sentiment LOVE SPECTACUlAR P.21·22 or a feeling that we're just trying to be more · American, wh1ch is somethi ng we PHOTO CONTEST P.24 don't want," adds Swa1sland.

REVIEWS P.25, 26

UVIndex

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GAMESP.29 USER ULTRA NEWS P.31·32

YOURE ABOUT TO START YOUR LAW CAREER LET'S TALK RETIREMENT.

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ultra vires

NEWS

Student project LIFTs Tsunami victims

BY SARAH MCEACHERN

Need a lift this reading week? Look no further than U ofT's Hart House. where the LIFT project- an initiative conceived and run by U ofT law students - is hosting a Gala Fundraiscr on February 24th to raise money for tsunami relief in Sri Lanka. The event will feat ure a documentary called "The Crooked Road" made by Stewa rt Thorn (ll ) about the work of an NGO in the atierntath of the tsunami.

The LIFT project was founded last year by a group of U of T law students who wanted to provide an avenue for the legal community to support meaningful international legal and humanitarian relief. After noting the poor attendance at a law school tsunami-relief event, Jared Kelly (II) approached former Dean Ron Daniels ~v ith the idea of involving the law school m a . larger fundraising effort.

The ongmal idea was to rebutld a school m Sri Lanka, but Kelly notes they "quickly realized NGOs were lining up to rebuild schools." The group refocused, deciding that the best way to offer humanitarian relief was to have someone on the ground find an appropriate N GO to fund.

A coir worker and her child in "the crooked road" Thorn was selected as the recipient of an internshtp which sent him to Sri Lanka efforts to rebuild the country. He also This credit was the only way to obtain with the mission of finding an appropriate wanted to avoid projects with short-term necessities for their families- leading to a NGQ, making a documentary about it and goa\s. His patience was rewarded when he perpetual cycle of debt and .dependen~y, \:>r\ng\ng nome a marketa\:>\e product that encountered the Siyath Foundatio n, a where the women had to contmue workmg could be used to raise funds to send back cooperative for women who work in the for the company to pay off interest owed to to Sn Lanka. coir (coconut fibre) weaving industry. the company store. These conditions have Thorn's attempt to reach these ambiThe Siyath Foundation is a success been improved by the Foundation, which tious goals within I 0 weeks was success- story for improving the employment conuses its collective strength to bargain for ful despite the challenge of working in a ditions of women in the coir industry. In favourable terms. developing country, not speaking the lan- the many fishing villages that lie on Sri After choosing the NGO, Thorn had a guage and being surrounded by the after- Lanka's western shore, women are the sole tight timeline to complete all filming for math of the tsunami. "It was like being in breadwinners during the long monsoon the documentary: three weeks. " It was Thailand," said Thorn, "except everything season when it is unsafe to fish. The bananas," recalled Thorn. "First of all, it was wrecked and there were no travellers, women in the coir industry were typically was harder than I anticipated to find an everyone was working for an NGO." explo ited by business owners who would organization that I loved. Then the lanThorn says the most difficult part of his sell them overpriced raw materials and buy guage barrier was huge. Amongst the peotnp was fmdmg an NGO that met the LIFT their completed products back at a miniple we were trying to film, no one spoke cnteria. He focused on finding a smaller mal price. The women worked for these English, no cell phones, no watches.

NGO wtth strong local ties because there companies in exchange for c redit at the Things work differently in a small fishing was little community participation in the company store. village." Thts meant arranging drivers for

5 years ago in UV First-Year Class warned that Honesty Is the Only Policy Associate Dean Mayo Moran sent an e-matl to first-year students warning that falsification of grades on recent job applications could have senous repercussions, including non-admission to the Bar. The email stated that despite the school's non-verification policy, students have an obligation to abide by the University's Code of Behaviour on Academic Matters, which states, among other things, that it is an offencl! to forge or falsify any llcadcmic record or to engage in misrepresentation to obtain academic advantage. Some students were upset. "Since September, everyone has gone out of their way to say that the exams don't count,'' said one. "We were lulled mto a false sense of security only to come back in January to discover that- the exatns do count to sec who geL<; jobs.''

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the film equipment and always having a translator on hand. Thorn ended up hiring surf boys to help w ith on-the-spot translation because most professional translators were already e mployed by high-profile NGOs. Now that Thorn has finished his documentary, he's trying to raise money to send back to the Siyath Foundation. Afsoon Houshidari (II), dubbed the motivational speaker of LIFT, says the project helps recognize the interconnectedness of conditions in the world. "We have a lot of people and resources and we care. We can be a link between the legal communities here and abroad. It's mutually beneficial."

Kelly adds, that "there's a lot of money in the legal world, and we want to bring together the greater legal community that has an interest in contributing to humanitarian relief."

Wh ile the LIFT project was funded by former Dean Daniels just before his departure, Kelly says the law school has not left the initiative hanging. LIFT has been working closely with Kate Hilton and Corey Besso in the Alumni office who sec ured sponsorship for the event by Cassels Brock. "Alumnt and Development have been really helpful," Kelly says. " This has the potential to be a huge project, all we need now is for people to come to the fundraiser and show their support," says Thorn. Student tickets are $30 and include food and a drink, and student-performances by a classical quartet (Yvanna Mycyk (II) on violin, Leslie Newman _(11) on flute Christian Charron (IO on v10la and Hel~na Likwornik (Ill) on cello) and an acoustic set of jazz, pop and rock ~es performed by vocalist Hadiya Rodenque (I) and by Jesse Bear on guitar.

Bridge week Raises controversy The Faculty of Law administration announced in late January that the "Restdential Schools" Bridge Week would be renamed "Redressing Systemic Injuc;tice." Instead of only examining issues surrounding litigation over the abuse of abongmals in residential schools, the week-long academic program would explore how lawsuits are used to seek reparations for a number of different massive human rights vtolations. Some students were concerned about the change, feanng that first-years would be only superficially exposed to an array of troubling and complex issues.

Laptop committee to continue work this term The committee constituted last term to examine laptop use at the law schoo l \\aS expected to reconvene soon. The committee was formed in response to concerns by students that exams written on laptops may receive better grades than those written by hand and about noise in the classroom.

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Long Distance Dating Tips A column about long-distance dating considered the age-old question, "Should I have sex v.tth other people?" The author concluded, "Honestly, this is usually a bad tdea." Soltd advice, even five years later.

14 February, 2006

NEWS

3

Majority of WtSem students approve move to JD degree in non-binding vote 1ast November CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

That's changing now, says Lee, as the presidents of law student societies across the province begin to pool ideas and research on the "biggest issues that face post secondary legal education", like tuition and globalization of the legal profession.

If several law schools do so separately, the change is more likely to negatively impact the reputation of individual schools, say Swaisland: "If we go with other schools to show that this i~ a movement and something that students feels strongly about, we're just more likely to get support from our faculty and alumni."

"Western wouldn't be able to [switch to the J.D.] without the contact the presidents currently now have. The students, faculty and administration at Western are only willing to do it if other schools join us, and changes like these are always going to be student driven," Lee says.

Western held a non-binding plebtscite on the issue in November, in whjch 61 per

cent of students partictpated. Although 39 per cent of students wanted to keep the

Pendmg further research with alumni and faculty and input from other schools, Western's Student Legal Society will recommend the switch to the J.D. to their faculty council as early as March. They're not considering adopting the Australian model of awarding the J.D to some students and the LL.B. to others, for fear of dividing the students. If the Faculty Council approves the move, Lee says the LL.B., l'i I per cent of students want to University Senate will probably ultimately switclt LO the J.D., including 16 per cent approve the designation. who made their approval condition on at Western Dean Ian Holloway says he wtll least one other leading Canadian law support the students, although he docsn 't school doing so at the same time. think a shift to the J.D. will change internaSecond-year student James Ferguson tional demand for Western students. "I pervoted no. "Changing the designations and sonally don't think it's a good idea, but if not changmg the substances is like calling the decision is taken to do this, then I ceran apple an orange just for the sake of call- tainly will do my best to make it a reality." ing an apple an orange. It doesn't really Holloway warns, however, that when he make any sense. And just because other ratsed this at a Canadian Council of Law people arc calling apples oranges doesn't Deans meeting tn fall 2004, "the unanimean that you should do it too," he says. mous vtcw across the country was that

"The students, faculty and

administration at Western are only willing to do it if other . . us '' schools JOin

there was no momentum for change."

Despite this perception among law Deans, however, Western won't have trouble gamering support in the student movement at other law schools. At Queen's, student interest in the issue is strong enough that the Soctety for Professional and Graduate Studtes has formed a committee to produce a report on the pros and cons of moving to the J.D. They 're investigating how employers and alumni would perceive the change, and how it might affect the student's collegiality, access to bank loans and the school's admissions enrollment criteria.

"We're to talk to all the stakeholders and if enough are on board, we'll go," Swaisland says. "We're just hoping it docsn 't piss off too many faculty or too many alumni. Even if the other law schools do it and we don't feel that our community is supportive, then we won't. But it's definitely something that we're very commttted to looking into and going ahead with."

The report is slated for release on Thursday.

Law Faculty on the Move But Destination Still Undecided ...

BY ANDREW PILLIAR

The Law School buildings will look very dillcrcnt a decade from now, but the exact nature of the changes are stil~ unclear.

According to SLS President Mtke Pal, a decision seems li kely "sooner, rather than later." .

Dean Mayo Moran addressed the butld. . promtoen · tly dun·ng her first ing sttuatton student town hall meeting on Janua~ 24, ~iting it as one of the top three tssues where she wants student input. When asked about the Faculty's plans for the building, the Dean todicated that there was no time frame for a decision on the butl_d. tog, and that the Law School is faced .wtth a choice between moving to a new Stte. at Devonshire and Bloor streets, or r~mato­ ing and renovating on the present s~tc.

While the prospect of mov_tog to Devonshire seemed the only optton for expanston Of the Law School last year, h renovation at the present site is back on t e table. Cancellation of plans ~or a condominium development on the stte of the fo~­ mer planetarium beside Falconer Hall to the Fall seem to have opened new · rather than reloprospects for renovatton, cation. . will What seems inevitable ts that there . be some major change in the commg years. C t.t.mg ''tem"ble" access problemst wtth the present build ings, and stud~~ pressure for more space and better. facthties the Dean has promised a commtttee to ' cxplorc options and rna ke a reco mmenda-. tion. The comm ittee will in~l~de stude~ts: though its exact composttton rematos undCCI"d ed · The announcement of . a second "fi town hall on February 17, dealtng spcct tcally with the building issue, suggests that the committee will soon be formed.

Asked whether he expects real consulta-

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foregone conclusion. The Dean probably has u position, but I don't . think she wJII

dicratc the res ult by co-optm~ the _consultation process." The SLS is pnmanl!' concerned that "for there to be benefit tn an?' change, the Faculty need~ to e~su:c t.~at It brings real improvement m factltttes.

The Faculty has been offered the opp~r­ tumty to develop the site at Devonsht~e and Bloor, though the Provost's office tndtcated last year that the Facul~ was_e~pect­ ed to make a decision on the stte wtthto the next year or so.

Dean Moran used the first town hall to briefly outline her expc~tations for . the comi ng process: to gather mput and qutckly dectde on whether to stay at the present site or move to Devonshire, then deve_lop a s ccific plan which will form the basts for f~ndraising efforts. She also noted t~at the butlding may be influenced by cumculum expectations, in deciding whether t~e future law school will have need for b.tg lecture halls. or whether smaller classrooms will be the norm. .

The question of how bml~mg chan~es will influence future class stzes remams k . although Dean Damels spoke of mur y' . the size of the first year class prcservmg "ld and renting out extra space at a new but . to other departments, Dean Moran ~~sed briefly at the ~own hall about restructurm g Cla·sses to yteld smaller classcs but more sections. Such a change_ may affect the Faculty's space needs _an? dtctate . and types of classes butlt tn a new the Stze butldtng. .

Once a decision on whether ~o stay or go has been made, the Faculty \~til_ have to raise money to support the bmldmg pro. ct Last year's proJeCted budget of $70 Je · · the new Dean's. million, combined wtth

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paign add up to potentially difficult fun~' tllg t... trcunJstnnc~.

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catcd tha t she w ill seek to lmpro~c: tile Faculty's relationship ~ith its al umm base:

and hopes that this will translate to nc ~\< fundraising opportunities. . .

But with the Dean's stated mterest. m increasing funding for DL_S and other clmics, and an impending revtew of the fin~n­ cial aid system, there are c?mpetmg demands for any new fundmg. , The the University has agreed to "buy back' . current site from the Law ~chool tfthere ts a move to Devonshire, whtch would offset some of the building costs, but the finan-

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Devonshire could presumably taJ.c place: without disruption ofoperations at the present location, a renovation ~f the c~rrent Faculty buildings would mevJtably disrupt activities at the Law S chool. J?tes~ are among the considerations that will likely be addressed in this week's town hall.

The Dean's town hall on the future of the Law School building •~-ill take p lace from J1 15 to /2:30 on Frida;: Febmary 17 in FLB.

Bloor & Devonshire: the law school's new home?

4

NEWS

ultra vires

First year Student pitches sustainability policy Waste from paper use and catering are primary targets

BY GEOFf MOYSA

Alex Kenjeev (I) has only been a U ofT student for one semester, but he's already spotting ways he thinks the law school can be better. Unlike most proposals for "excellence". however, this one focuses on something outside the law school: the environment.

Kenjeev, who sits on the SLS student caucus, is the princ1pal author of a proposed sustainability policy, which would be the first of 1ts kind adopted by the law faculty.

The policy, wh1ch is still undergoing revisions, will be put through the SLS caucus, and if approved, will be voted on at the next Faculty Cmmcil meeting on \4arch 15.

"It will represent a pretty significant step," said Kenjeev. "We don't currently have a set sustainability policy, it's all done on an ad hoc basis right now. The idea was that we could do something here with just the Law Faculty for now and set an example for the rest of the University. I don't know of any other faculties that have a policy like this in place."

The policy's recommendations arc simple, but could face some opposition. The core element calls for the reduction of paper use in the Jaw school by moving to duplex printing for all large network printers, meaning that all documents would be printed double-sided. According to Kenjeev, three

of five ex1sttng pnnters are capable of duplex printing, while the other two would eventually have to be replaced.

The existing small printers in Professors' offices would remain unchanged.

The policy also calls for the use of postconsumer recycled paper rather than new paper and would prohibit Professors from printmg out hard-copy syllabi and askmg for papers to be submitted double-spaced. "I feel that one-and-a-half spacing is enough to still be readable," said Kenjeev. Professor Denise Reaume has been known to allow students to submit papers single-spaced in order to save paper.

According to Kenjeev, the paper idea was inspired by his time as a McGill student, where he sat on the committee that approved a similar policy requiring duplex printing and po~t-consumcr paper.

The other main arm of the proposed policy focuses on reducing waste generated by the law school's catered events. "The aim is to get rid of single-serving drink containers," said Kenjeev. "I'd like to have people bring their own bottles or cups, and have the SLS sell them on their premises." This part of the policy would not affect Grounds of Appeal, although Kenjeev noted he would be very pleased if they'd reconsider their practices and offer a greater discount for students who bring their own cups.

The bookstore will also be encouraged to use less resources under the policy by charging 25 cents per plastic bag, and selling cloth bags to students at a greater cost.

The policy, however, is still in its draft stages, and Kenjeev is actively taking ideas from Faculty and students alike. "I've consulted with a number of Profs and Administrators - I've also met with the Sustainability Office at the University, and I'm waiting for their full opinion on the policy." The consultation process started at the last Faculty Council meeting in late January, where Kenjeev outlined his policy ideas and invited Faculty members to send in their feedback.

"I did get some e-mails from profs, who gave me ideas that I would not have thought of before," said Kenjeev. One such idea that made it into the policy was to make the new law school building LEED (Leadership in

Energy and Environmental Design)Certified, a comprehensive international standard of sustainable design for new buildings. "Dean Moran especially is very gung-ho on having a 'green building' when we build our new location," said Kenjeev.

"We have so much catering, there's no rcason not to have a kitchen and re-usable dishes."

Kenjeev is confident that the core elements of the plan would be approved. "I'd be very surprised to see opposition to the paper use, since it's going to save us money in the long run," he said. Perhaps more controversial, however, is the idea of making students provide their own cups for catered events, and Kenjeev admits he will need more feedback from students and faculty before he knows what level of opposition it will face. However, it is something that he insists should be pressed regardless.

"I have the feeling that as lawyers, we have a higher responsibility to society, and sometimes that involves changing habits," said Kenjeev. "If you're the kind of person who drinks a lot of coffee, then maybe you should be prepared to incur a bit of inconvenience. This is how trends get started - it's all about role models leading by example."

Kenjeev said he intends to organize a meeting open to all students to solicit feedback before the proposal is put before Faculty Council in March.

.!.4 February, 2 0 0 6

5

HELMUT

Helmut: Have a John Hughes movie marathon DEAR HELMUT Feeling down? Health Enables Legal Minds at the University of Toronto (HELMUT) offers advice

Dear HELMUT, I'm a first year dude, and wow, am I ever in trouble. I screwed myself in first semester, and barely did any work. Now while my friends are boasting about their As and 8+ s. I have a feeling I'll be riding the B curve at best this April. How can I tackle the rest ofthe semester without feeling like a big failure? And how can I improve my grades?

-Sincerely, Just Wanna Make it To May

Dear Just Wanna, While I could wax philosophical on how not to get down on yourself and compare yourself to others, I've done it before and the truth is, we've all heard it before.

You need a plan, my man. And you came to the right place.

First, if you haven't done it already,

look over your December exams with each of your Profs to see where you went wrong. You can get really good tips on how to improve your answers. Also, if there's a friend or acquaintance that seems to 'get it,' and who you feel comfortable enough talking to, then get some help from them re-learning the basics from first semester.

Once you know where you need help, draw up a flexible study plan for the rest of the semester. To do this, think about vanous ways that you can balance your time.

You may decide you want· to treat school like a 9-5 job, and do the majority of your work during the day. Or, you might want to work on a different subject each day of the week. Always make sure you have some downtime in HELMUT's humble opinion, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

It's also NOT a good idea to leave your summaries until the middle/end of March.

This was a mistake I made when I was in first year, and I found that I lived and breathed school for the entire month of April. You don't want that. You want to be organized and on top of things. You can look at upper years' summaries online for ideas about how to structure yours, but always do what feels most comfortable to you.

On a related note, you might want to get

some friends together and form a study group for each class. or at least for the ones you have most trouble with. You could compare summaries and go through old exams together. which is a surefire way to feel more confident during exam time.

Finally. you can take advantage of the resources available to you at the Faculty.

HELMUT w1ll be running an exam preparation session in March, where you can talk to upper-years who can give you tips on studying and managing your various commitments. After all, it always helps to talk to people who have been through the ridiculousness and who have made it out in one piece well, in mostly one piece!

Keep your eyes peeled for information on that session; I guarantee that you will find it useful.

-Sincerely, l IELMUT Loyal readers, Well, it's that time again - the post-holiday time of dreary weather, hibernation urges and work piling up on your desk. For you first-years, it's the time when grades actually (gasp!) count. And for we upper years .. .let's just say that we're already bored with th1s place. Do I sound depressed? Nah. It's just the February blues ... and I don't think we here at HELMUT are alone in feeling a little down. lt's

time for a little excitement in our lives, so we thought up some fun ideas for helping y'all get through the semester whole and sane.

Do something that you could never in your wildest dreams picture yourself doing, and take a friend along! (For me. that would be rollerblading, but hey. we all have different levels of adventurousness).

Try writing a short story. Submit it to a contest. Hey, lots of crap gets published these days!

Have an 80's John Hughes movie marathon. Some classics include The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink and Ferris Duellers Dav O.U Alternatively, sec if you can go a week without television. You'll be amazed at how much more you get done without the tube turned on.

P1ck a neighbourhood of the city with wh1ch you're not familiar and explore it, alone or with company.

Get people together for a weekly night of playing cards, talking politiCS or having impromptu dance parties. The last one is especially fun. Alcohol may be required.

If you don't already, do the crossword daily. It's a little break from your daily grind, and you're still working your brain.

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LEGAL ISSUES

ultra vires

Saving the world, one caramel macchiato at a time

LEGAL ISSUES

14 February, 2oo6

7

Canadian laws on gun ownership Because knowing is half the battle!

BY TED CHIASSON

BY EMILY KEn'El

small producers grow a wider variety of crops, leading to soil and water conservaYou need something to get you through tion and a greater diversity of plant your 9 a.m. class. You blink at the differ- spec1es. M1gratory birds also use the ent types of coffee on offer at Grounds of shade from coffee trees in native forests.

Appeal and decide on Fair Trade today.

Fair trade coffee was launched in 1989 But what exactly is it that you're drinking? in the Netherlands. Much of the thrust of Fair trade labelled products arc import- fair trade products and practices have ed through trading partnerships based on come from consumer groups and developrespect and sustainability for producers. ment or religious groups such as Oxfam.

The term is typically applied to commodi- Fair trade products have now reached the ty food products such as coffee, cocoa, mainstream, as can be seen by the availbananas and sugar, but recently has also ability of fair trade coffee at coffee shops been used on other products like soccer like Starbucks and Second Cup on a daily basis or fair trade instant hot chocolate at balls.

Most coffee we get in Canada (and in Mountain Equipment Co-op. The growth most other areas in the world) comes to us in fair trade items has been documented through free trade from developing in 2000 there were 12,818 metric tons of nations. Free trade coffee usually means fair trade coffee sold worldwide and by that growers are paid a very low amount 2003, 19,895 metric tons. Still, fair trade by large companies, often leading to coffee only represents about 1% of total poverty for growers and large profits for worldwide coffee sales. multinational corporations. In the early How can you tell if the product you're part of this decade coffee prices fell sub- buying is fair trade? The Fair Trade stantially, leading to even lower prices for Labelling Organization producers and putting many at risk of (www.fairtrade.net) is an umbrella organidefaulting on loans and facing ruin. zation for all certified fair trade products.

Fair trade is based on respect and dia- They set the standard$ for labelling, which logue leading to greater equity in interna- is split into product specific and generic tional trade. It means paying fair amounts producer standards. The generic producer (a living wage) to producers and ensuring standards have separate standards for orgamore of the proceeds of the sales go to the nizations and for organized workers. producers rather than middlemen.

Fair trade labelling doesn't mean organThere are also environmental benefits to ic production, although fair trade products fa\r trade products. For example, many can be organic as we\\. Recently there has

Effective weapon against poverty, or band-aid for liberal guilt ? been a move to more straightforward labelling, resulting in one logo used for all Fair Trade products. The producer pays for Certification and the national licensing body charges a fee to the importer.

So where can you buy fair trade products? Close to the law school your options are Noah's on Bloor (322 Bloor St. W.) or Whole Foods (in Hazelton Lanes, 87

Avenue Rd.). Many coffee shops have brewed fair trade coffee available (Starbucks, Second Cup, Alternative Grounds on Roncesvalles) and you can always try asking your local spot to start carrying it.

For more information, check out www.maketradefair.com.

Recently, in the middle of an anti-gun frenzy, I joined the Hart House nfle and revolver clubs and started shooting for fun and competition.

Why take up shooting as a sport? 1 enjoy 1t. 1 find it relaxing and meditative.

It is a way to focus the mind on the moment, sort of like climbing or yoga.

Marksmanship is less about "blowing off some steam" and more about finding your centre. Where else but while looking through a sight can you see the up and down of your breathing, the bump of your pulse, reflected so easily? Shooting accurately requires steadiness, not adrenalin.

During the election, gun laws became a hot issue. From asking around it seems there is little knowledge among the general population as to what the current state of the law is.

Firearms in Canada are primarily governed by the Firearms Act, which came out of Bill C-68, passed in 1995. Pistols with barrels longer than 105mm are classified as restricted and are subject to additional regulation as compared to rifles and shotguns (long guns). Pistols or handguns with barrels shorter than 105mm join machineguns and silenced guns in the prohibited category. Forget it: you can't buy them.

To purchase a restricted firearm, you need to obtain a Possession and Acquisition License (Restricted), known

The Bush Administration, in apparent violation of the Federal Intelligence Services Act (FISA), has for a few years now engaged the National Security Agency to condu~t warrantless surveillance of certain international electronic communications originating in the United States. That the Administration had persuaded the New York Times to sit on this story for over a year has further stoked the controversy.

Some background is in order. The NSA IS the largest of the organizations that makes up the post-World War II American intelligence apparatus. Its mandate docs not include human intelligence (HUMINT), paramilitary operations, or any of the more glamorous aspects of spycraft. Rather, NSA is a Signals Intelligence (SJGINT) agency, mtercepting all manner of electronic communications. NSA is also part of an Anglosphere intelligence-sharing alliance called ECHELON dating back to the end ofWWII that includes the SIGINT agenc1es of the UK, Canada, Austraha and New Zealand.

Good intelligence has long been an Important, if not the decisive, factor in war. As the military sage Sun Tzu said: "Know thy enemies, know thyself, a thousand battles, a thousand victories. ·• Of course, one cannot keep tabs on the bad guys without also doing the same for ordinary people. rt is plausible, as is cla1med, that a planned attack on the Brooklyn Bridge was foiled through war-

rantless surveillance. Furthermore, according to The Economist, there have only been some 30 incidents of warrantless surveillance of domestic telephone calls of American citizens. Yet it would be surprising if illicit activities did not occur.

Though its present situation is dangerous, the United States is not under existential threat. Messrs Bush and Cheney claim to know well the fine points of global counter-insurgency missed by the new generation of nabbering nabobs of negativism. But having mishandled many aspects of this campaign, one might be more than a little justified in wondering whether every new accretion of presidential power is worth it.

The idea elaborated by the President's legal praetorians of nearly unlimited Presidential wartime Leaving aside the question of whether power, barred only by the Congressional the FISA court is a rubber stamp or a control of the purse, seems fearfully excessuperfluous shackle, what kind of legal sive. Granted, in wartime, it is best to disoversight is possible and desirable in passionately view one's surroundings as wartime? Cicero IS said to have quipped simply terrain through which one must that in times of war the laws are silent. maneuver. But when peace comes, that terLast semester, President Aharon Barak of rain has to be inhabitable again, and the Israel Supreme Court gave a talk where preferably pleasantly so. he explicitly rejected this view.

An impressiOn I got from Barak's talk Maybe it is best to examine this issue as was that in wartime the courts and the follows: Laws exist relative to the soci- executive end up functioning in some isoeties that uphold them. War may threaten lation from one another anyway. Practical the physical existence of a country and it judicial supervision of the executive's would be illogical, barring theological and security policies is limited, and probably quasi-theological assertions to the con- necessarily so. After all, intelligence trary, to consider the laws as some sort of alliances between states do de facto allow su1c1de pact. That said, there are d1fferent member governments to Circumvent their degrees M warfare with different degrees own domestic privacy laws. Furthermore, of stress on the laws.

FISA only applies to domestic surveil-

"Intelligence has long been an important, if not the decisive, factor in war."

lance. Electronic communications involving US persons that are intercepted abroad is fair game.

But though the courts are thus limited, they are not superfluous. Contrary to what an intellectual predisposition might suppose, it is not the conceptual violation of legal boundaries that is most important.

Only major actual v1olations really count.

If this affair really was of a small scale, and had remained secret or the President had denied the allegations, the American people might simply have pocketed the security benefits and carried on, and the Administration could continue praying that its foreign policy will start to look up at some point. Besides, Democratic politicians who in recent weeks have tried to play Brutus (or maybe it's Cassius ... ) to the Administration Caesar ought to remember that the Western European countries they admire so much have long had far more intrusive surveillance regimes than that of the United States.

If the affair is shown to be more serious (The Economist's information after all, does not address the s1tuatton regarding lawful residents or electronic communications other than telephones), the courts, not knowing of any more minute violations beforehand, could still judge the executive's actions to be illegal. Such an approach, however necessarily informal, could help maintain the American republic while avoiding the political circus that may be to come.

"Why take up shooting as a sport? I enjoy it. I find it relaxing and meditative. It is a way to focus the mind on the moment, sort of like climbing or yoga. " the past two years to find out if there are any areas of concern. This whole application takes a couple of months and includes a mandatory minimum 28 day "cooling off" period.

Once you've obtained a PAL, you can then purchase a firearm. The firearm vendor takes your information and contacts the Canadian Firearms Centre in Miramichi, where the information is veri-

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In times of war, the tap on your phone is silent

BY JONATHAN SONG

as a PAL(R). To obtam a PAL(R) you take two courses and write two exams. These courses focus on safe firearm handhng and legal issues. Once you've passed the courses, you can apply for a PAL(R). The application process requires a crimmal and public-safety background check. This mcludes contacting any spouses or common law partners the applicant has had in

Where the Future

Comes to Grow

Toronto Attention: Scott Whitley, Director of Professional Development BCE Place Suite 2500, 181 Bay Street Toronto, ON MSJ 2T7 Tel.: 416-360-8600 Fax.: 416-365-1719 Ottawa Attention: Wanda Phanor, Articling Coordinator 50 O'Connor Street Suite 300 Ottawa, ON K1 P 6L2 Tel.: 613-232-7171 ext. 124 Fax.: 613-231-3191

sure guns need t o be r egulated, but what about round-house kicks to the head?? fied. If everything goes smoothly, they register the gun in your name.

Although the firearm is registered, the registry has some significant limitations.

The registry does not permit CSI type identification of the fuearm from expended bullets (due to technical reasons). The registry records the serial number on the fLrearm, but these numbers are not sufficient to permit absolute identification of the firearm. And, of course, the only firearms in the registry are those that are legally registered. The serial numbers used for identification can also be erased from a firearm using power tools, making it impossible to identify the source of the firearm.

This is why there is a great deal of uncertainty in the origins of firearms recovered from crimes in Canada. Current practice seems to assume that guns which can't be traced back to the United States must be stolen from collectors in Canada.

There is also a reasonable concern, given the number of break-ins at the homes of firearm collectors, for the security of the reg1stry.

Once you've purchased the firearm. you still need a permit to transport it to and from your residence which requires an

Authorization to Transport (ATT). To receive the ATT you must be sponsored by a gun club or range. Typically this involves several months of probationary membership and comp\eti.on of a course to \earn any regu\at\ons spec\fic to that range.

When )'OU have comp\eted \\us probation, the range executive will send a Jetter to the provincial firearms officer, who can then issue an AIT permitting you to move the firearm directly from your home to the range and back.

While at home, the restricted fLrearm must be stored separate from the ammunition, in a locked container, and must also be made inoperable by means of a separate locking mechanism. While in trans it, it must be locked in an opaque container and also be made inoperable. You are also required to take a reasonably direct route from your home to the range and back So anyone with a loaded firearm in their glove compartment would be breaking at least three separate laws. • Having done all of that, you are free to shoot your handgun at the range, subj ect to their rules and safety practices. Just be aware that to point that firearm at another person constitutes an offence in itself. so be careful.

Facts about firearms There arc 7. I miiJion firearms currently registered in Canada 1.67 million Canadians have at least one firearm registration certificate.

16 554 firearms licences have been refused or revoked by ' Firearms Officers for public safety reasons between Chief December l, 1998 and December 31, 2005.

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My Singapore fling

40 Years of Arnie

BY STEPHEN BIRMAN

BY MAIT SUDAK

ln 1966, Lester Pearson was our Prime Mi nister. Lyndon Johnson was the liS President, about to attack the Vietnamese in Hanoi. The Maple Leafs were about to win a Stanley Cup. The US Supreme Court was constdering Miranda l( Arizona. Star Trek was broadcast for the first time.

Left otT this historical record is that Arnold Wcinrib taught his first class at the Faculty of Law. In the 40 years since, students. professors, and Deans have come and gone. The program has changed, the profession has changed, but Arnold Weinrib has remamed a mainstay in the corridors of Falconer and Flavelle. He graduated in 1965 and returned as a professor in 1966 only to be followed by his younger brother, Ernie, in 1972 and his daughter Laura in 2003. Today, at 65 he teaches property and tax, has served for 35 years as Chair of the Admissions Committee and coaches the intramural basketball team.

UV: Do your friends call you Arnie or Arnold?

AW: Both UV: What can I call you?

AW: GOD

Law School UV: Did you hke law school?

AW路 Oh yeah, 1t always beat real work; was a school representative at the Universities Administrative Counsel.

UV路 Do you remember Paul Martin?

Was he a friend?

AW: I knew Paul, but we were not friends, I was friends with Bill Graham.

Paul was really smart though, probably the smartest guy in his class.

UV: At the time how much did the grade scandal bother you?

AW: As far as I am concerned ifl never have to hear about that again, it wouldn't be soon enough.

Teaching UV: Have you ever been arrested?

Honestly.

AW: Hmmmmm only parking tickets.

Arnie investigates the tort of giant bicycles Arnie and Admissions:

The Legacy: 40 More Years?

UV: What is your role? Do you read all the applications?

AW: I read about the students who get in, and those that are close. Every year there are five or six faculty and three or four students involved.

UV: How do you want to be remembered when students talk about you in the pub?

AW: I don't think about that, as far as I am concerned none of us will be remembered. I mean who remembers Wright, or Pritchard or Sharpe?

UV: Ever been sued?

AW: No, but I have brought actions UV: Do you ever see creative applicarelated to planning against our neighbours. tions? Are they a good idea?

I had to hire a lawyer, it cost me a lot of AW: My advice is your achievements money, but we were successful and we speak for themselves. Creativity on the don't speak with those neighbours any- application is OK, if by OK you mean idimore. otic.

UV: You're married?

AW~ Yes, for 38 years with 2 chi\dren, a 30-year-o\d daughter who now works at UV: What percentage of the arguments a downtown law-firm, and a 28-ycar-old you rarsc in class are intended to stir up son working at ESPN. controversy or piss people off?

AW: Arguments made to just piss peoUV: Do you remember the day you otT are usually not good arguments. I ple decided to go to law school? like to raise arguments that make people AW: It was in my 4th year of economthink. ics at Uoff; my parents would have preferred if 1 had gone to medical school.

UV: As a group. what's the one thing UV: What was your relationship like you don't like about Uoff law students?

The Deans: UV: How many Deans have you seen?

AW: I have seen them all Wright, Macdonald, Fnedland, Iacobucci, Prichard, Sharpe, Daniels and Moran. As far as analyzing them; Wright was only here for a year, he scared me the most so I tried to avoid him.

UV: The Daniels Era- any thoughts on his Legacy?

AW: Listen, in 1989 the Premiere of China was asked at the Bicentennial of the French Revolution, what he thought about it. The answer he gave then is the same answer I will g1ve now; it's too soon too tell.

UV: Is the appointment of the first female Dean a Significant achievement?

AW: Not for me, but I guess it can be equated w1th our first female professor Hilda McKinley who proceeded to the Ontario Court of Appeal

The Real Arnie: UV: Beer or Wine?

AW: It depends.

Three Weinribs are better than one with your brother growing up? Fights?

AW: 1 mean, we were brothers - there wcrcn 't any real fights other than sporadic attempts to murder one another.

UV: Who got better grades at the School?

AW: Well, Ernie stood first in his class (and I didn't).

AW: Lots of students have a sense of entitlement, some more than they are entitled to.

UV: Exams; do you actually read those things? Is there a correlation between exam and real world success?

AW: I mark the ones that land at the bottom of the stairs. As far as real life success. it can sometimes be a good indicator.

UV: Yeah, Arnie, but 40 years is 40 years.

UV: First car?

AW: 1956 Buick, bought in 1966 and driven until! totalled it.

UV路 Boxers or Bnefs?

AW: Whatever is cheaper.

UV: Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Amston?

AW: Jennifer Aniston.

To start with the trivial, the factor that has caused the greatest amount of grief for this pampered Canadian, is the weatherexpectedly hot and humid. The real problem is the lack of air conditioning in my school-provided housing here at the National University of Singapore.

Ironically, Prince George's Park Residence is the newest place to drop anchor on campus.

Apparently when designing the prOJect a foreign architect must have been tlownm from some frigid part of the world, because it is hard to imagine a local, the majority of whom need no convincing as to the merits and indispensability of air conditioning. to have condemned students to the mhumanity of a concrete oven (think poor man's Grad House). Lest you be too concerned about my current situation, after some concerted effort I managed to get my hands on a portable A/C unit, making my room a popular haven in my wing of the building ... well, that might also have something to do with my ample supply of, urn, refreshments-! do what I need to for friends.

The Residence is also an apt example of how rules-based and orderly Smgaporean society is. The Resident's Rule Book is voluminous, reviewed with you m some detail upon arrival, and diligently apphcd. Perhaps the most interesting requirement is to leave lhe door ajar \\hen members of the opposite sex are present in your room (and this mcludes your mother and/or sister-I asked).

Rules permeate Singaporean society, and not all of them are trivial ("Death to Drug Traffickers" greets bleary-eyed tounsts at the airport). The real shock is how closely and apparently effortlessly they are followed by the local population-a testament either to their enlightened social coordination or clever government guidance. That having been said, enforcement officers are nowhere to be seen.

One of us needs a haircut

The contrast with Kuala Lumpur or and guidelines are too often treated as Jakarta, both of which I have recently vis- suggestions. A small example: being the ited, could not possibly be greater. There. na路i-.e and innocent Canadian, I turned and especially in the latter, the rules arc around to go home in a park outside of sometimes merely an mconveniencc or an Jakarta after the warden informed me that opportunity to profit. Lights, lanes, laws "park closed national security"-of

course, as my local driver quickly pointed out, national security was apparently worth only $0.50 USD (at $5.00 I grossly overpaid, prompting the warden to gladly otTer a personalized tour).

Academtc life at NUS has been more than sat1sfymg Although readings can be heavy, "strategic reading" and "tactical course planning and attendance" can leave one with plenty of time for travel Our home faculty could, however, really make us take one fewer course here without fear of compromising their academic credentials.

Most of the professors have been outstanding. and hopefully some of them will one day visit the U ofT. The students arc also incredibly welcoming ... they not only arranged for my airport pick-up at two in the morning. but my assigned "buddy" has taken me on various tours and shopping trips to help me acclimatize. Class discussions arc lively, although 1 have yet to find the line on what is open to vehement critic1sm and what requires a more diplomatic approach that is somewhat foreign to us loose-lipped Canadian academics (and some things here really do require, shall we say, tact).

The credentials of NUS are probably best demonstrated by the respect the school commands in the rest of Asia-in terms of popular perception, the "Harvard of Asia" is an apt description. One more interesting characteristic of the academic debate in Singapore, which is actually well reflected at street-level, is the prevalence of pro-globalization viewpoints an interesting reprieve from the prevailing skepticism in most economically developed societies (those of you unfortunate enough to have heard my views on the subject know how happy this makes me!).

That's it from Singapore for now. Time to get to class ... er-actually I'm off to Phuket. See you all in June.

AW: Well, I guess I have taught more students than anyone in the school's history, but Waddams and my brother may catch up.

UV: What would surprise people about Arnie Weinrib?

AW: I have lived an average. normal life; I am married and have lived in the same house throughout. I have a cat named Jingles. I still get nervous when I teach a class.

UV: Has the law school done anything to celebrate Arnie at 40, a gold watch perhaps?

AW: They continue to pay me.

UV: Long-term vision for the school; what will the school will be like without you?

AW: I hope we get better students, better faculty and know that when I leave the average level of intelligence among the faculty will increase immediately.

That's Arnie being Arnie.

A LAW DEGREE WON'T GET YOU INTO A COURTROOM. WE WILL. If litigation is your passion and becoming a top counsel is your goal, make sure you work at a firm that has built its reputation on advocacy.

Lenczner Slaght is one of the leading Canadian litigation firms, highly rated by both Chambers and Partners and LEXPERT. For more information contact Perry Hancock, Student Co-ordinator: 416.865.3092 or phancock@lsrsg.com

www.lsrsg.com

You wont to be on our side.

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Frenchy Cheeses and Airy Breezes prefer comfortable footwear, round-toed that soon become a problem after that fli'St What's the solution? slip-on flats should continue to be hot for the blast of AC. Lobbying?

Duct-tapin~ the .thermostat?

Greetmgs from France! summer.

Perhaps but in the meantime, grrls, we may For the extremely fashion forward, rubAs an ind1cat10n of how comm1tted we are ' .

I have to content ourselves with layenng. to fash1on, one of yours truly has now relo- ber rain boots in bright colours should be Buy the tank-top, buy the blouse, buy the cated (temporarily) to France to bring you hitting North America in another year. Hard skirts.

Sure, why not. If you choose to the latest trends straight from Europe. Hope to believe, we know, but leave it to the Brits assuage your guilt from working at a firm. by you have all been slicking to your New to make min-wear trendy! As for male fashbeing environmentally friendJ~ ~d walking ion trends, guys stick to whatever you:re Year's resolutiOns since it seems that the to work, simply carry your smt Jacket, ~d wearing.

The French guys w1 th currently focus of 2006 is all on the legs. Skinny jeans are the rage - best of luck to any of their tapered acid washed jeans could learn walk in a sldrt, tank top or camisole, and flip flops. Then, as the chill sets in, start packyou trying to replace a pair of well-worn a thtng or tvro from you! .

Now that we've filed our latest fashion mg on the layers. bootcut jeans while in Paris.

Fabrics can also be important when 1t Ofcourse we realize that this style ofjean report, on to answering some of your quescomes to keeping cool or warm in the office. only ever looks good on 5' I 0 and II 0 pound tions.

Unfortunately for us, women's suits seem to Getting Down to Business models, but tuck them into a pair of boots Although it may appear to be wishful be predominantly made of polyester, wh!ch and it's a flattering look for pretty much any body type. Another trend grabbmg France thinking, given t11at current temperatures are 1s the worst possible material to be weanng by storm are tights of alJ colours and pat- still hovering below zero, the headache of in the summer. While you may not have terns. While not a personal favourite of ours, dealing with office wear and summer weath- much of a choice in very formal office setit seems to be the in-thing for the hip and er is just around the comer. And Jet's face it, tings, if you do have the flexibility, perha?s when it comes to office temperatures it is invest in a good quality linen or cotton su1t. trendy!

On to shoes. Summer is the time for Chunky, brightly coloured scarves, are still a man's world out there. everywhere, indoors and out, replacing The summer office environment still open-toed shoes, sling backs, and sandals beaded necklace as the accessory of choice. caters to the fully suited male who wears a right? Wrong. It is best to stick to. close-toed Finally, the equestrian look is very in. The wool suit, with a full-sleeved cotton shirt shoes for the office smce they g1ve a more French appear to be loving long slim fitting underneath, cotton socks and lace-up shoes. polished look and will keep you warmer tweed shorts worn, with or without tights. As a consequence, while the temperature while the AC is blasting. If your place of with shm riding boots. outs1de gets \.\armer, the temperature in the work is less conservative and you're not For fellow shoeaholics, boots of all office tends to go down. Lower tempera- bothered by the AC chill, then by all means shapes and sizes continue to reign supreme: tures may be good for clarity of the mind, show off those toes. However, please never, nding boots, slouchy boots, flat and pointy but it can wreak havoc on a girl's wardrobe. ever, wear l.tghts with sandals or open-toed boots the French love them all. And of On the one hand the shops are selling us shoes. Despite what the label tells you, your course to fully show them off, jeans are skirts, tank-tops and breezy blouses. tights are not invisible and people can tell ro\\ed up or tucked in. For those of you who C\othes that are great to wa\k to work m, but that you are wearing them. This look, if we

BY KIRAN GILL AND ADA MOK

14 February, 2006

FEATURES

11

First year hiring: the inside scoop can call it that, is awful, and completely defeats the whole purpose of Wearing sandals in the first place.

All Dressed Up and Somewhere to Go Alright, enough with the practical wear and on to the really important question _ what to wear to the Law Ball? This is, after all, your chance to shine and show your classmates what you really look like without your Starbucks coffee cup accessory and underneath all those sweats. As for what you should wear, it's really up to you, your personality, and what you feel most comfortable in. We've seen people show up in formal floor-length or cocktail dresses, but one of our favourite outfits involved a nice top paired with pants. If in doubt, a black knee-length cocktail dress is always a safe choice. You have the added benefit of being able to wear it again in the near future and you can always dress it up with accessories and a brightly coloured wrap.

As for guys, this *may* be the one time in your law-school career where it is acceptable to show up in a bow-tie. Please use this exemption wisely and note that this wearwhat-you-want card only works twice a year - on Halloween and on the night of Law Ball. Most men, however, choose to show up in a suit and tic. If you want to dress 1t up a bit, choose a brightly coloured shirt or tic but, for the sake of your fellow classmates' sanity and visual well-being, please match them wiscl)'.

You too can make $1,300 I week proofreading documents BYSTEPHEN BIRMAN Two students have called me to ask about the first year summer hiring process. This means I have already had to repeat the same advice twice. I thought it would be prudent to put my advice to paper and then refer future questioners to this piece.

Congratulations if you got an interview. If

"In many cases your 20

can offer some helpful hinters, it's important to prelude them by saying that there is no magic formula for success. The best insight that I received was from a current 3rd year student who told me that the whole process was like "high-school dating." You arrive at the firm and you arc on your first date. You are very excited, and a little nervous. rf you are anything like me, it was not easy to get that first date. Your goal is to get to get to a second date (Tuesday interVIew) rather than endmg up married after the first date. Let the firm know you are interested but also make sure they know that the ball is in your court and at the end of the day you will be making the decision. When the interview becomes 'evenly matched' and the power imbalance has disappeared you can engage articulately by thoughtfully sharing your passions and ideals. The relationship has to progress naturally. If all goes well, both sides will share the same warm feeling about it on Wednesday at 5 o'clock.

Wh1le there is no science to the process, here are some helpful pointers: Contact students from previous years: l was very surprised to find out that l was the only candidate who had done this at

minute presence will be one of the more exciting parts of that lawyer's day. It may be his/her only human interaction that ,, day not please come back to this piece next October and read my interview with Arnie Weinrib on page 8 instead.

I remember calling a senior partner at a downtown firm prior to my interviews and asking for advice. He told me to "just be myself," because our interviewers are "professionals who know the difference." I left that conversation, thinking wow, thanks for the helpful advice.

Yes, I was successful in the 1st year AFI ("At Firm Interview") process, and while I

my firm. This is bas1c interview prcpamtion and a good opportunity to show you

" Be humble: Try not to start of all of your sentences with "I"" have done your research. You can also subtly drop some of the student's pos1tive feedback in your mterviews.

Know your interviewers: Read the1r b1os but don't know too much about them.

Engage them on a macro level about their practice, and enthusiasm for the law, not by showing your knowledge of the tine points in their 1974 arguments before the Supreme Court.

Everybody is important: From the moment you arrive at the firm treat the people you meet with respect. This includes legal personnel, assistants, and your fellow candidates with respect. You are going to be evaluated on these interactions as much as your mark in Contracts.

Don't worry about the content of the conversation, just be enthus1ast1c and interested about the topic: \ had one mterview where 20 mi.nute"> were ~-pent ta\\1.\n\l,

about the Fox TV Sho\\ 24 while querying the interviewer about whether Jack Bauer could ever be replaced. I thought this was a succcssti.tl interview, and I \\USn ' t worried about the fact we didn't discuss pressing legal issues.

Put yourself in the lawyer's position: You \\ill inten ic\\." with many people some of whom have a lot of experience with the process, and others who do not.

Do not leave the responsibility of creating a comfortable interview environment to the lawyer. In many cases your 20 minute presence will be one of the more exciting parts of that lawyer's day. It may be his/her only human interaction that day, so make it an enjoyable one.

Be humble: Try not to start of all of your sentences with "!". If a lawyer credits an achievement of yours, make sure to credit your colleagues. If a lawyer credits your strong academic performance, make sure to credit your study group. It shows a Jot when a person recognizes that good things don't happen on their own, and that your arc willing to be a part of the team. ln the end, it's a pretty competitive process - the best advice 1 have is to be prepared, be confident and show your openness to whatever the summer ho\ds. \ f you wa\k i.nto the i.ntetvi.ew wi.th a sense of enth\ement ':fOU ma)' fmd ')'Ourse\f di.">a-p-po\nted. Good \uc~\

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ultra vires

FEATURES

12

Remembering the grades scandal, 5 years ago

BY STEVE BIRMAN & KEIR WILMUT In Februar)' 200I, Ultra Vires broke the news of the infamous "grades scandal. " This dark period in the history of the Faculty saw 34 first year students accused offalsifying their December exam results in their summer job applications to Bay Street finns.

Five years later. Ultra Vires contacted some of the key players involved in the scandal and asked what caused the students to falsify their marks, whether the punishment was appropriate, and what le\·sons the Faculty should learn.

oenlse Reaume

Ron Daniels Ron Daniels was Dean from !995 2005. and was in charge oftlte investigation and the discipline oftlte implicated students. He is currently the Prom~/ at the University of Penmylvania, and declined to comment for this article. The foiloM ing comments arc from tire Oc·tober 2001 i5Site of Ultra Vires.

"I regret the university had publicly rc.,ealcd [Reaume's] name, we should have been more attentive to her interests and the university apologized and I endorse that. As to the investigation .. .I don't regret that for a moment."

As the professor who was initiallytlccused of inducing the fal~ification, Reaume:\· inmlvemcm r('ceived international

attention. She eventual(v received an apology from the Uni1•ersity and continues to teach at the Facult;~

''A lot of people's attitude around the law school was and remains, 'let's just hope this goes away.' There was a desire to treat this as a 'bad apple problem' where we have some individual bad apples and the bad apples needed to be identified and held responsible. One or t\.,o cheaters are bad apples; 20-plus students breaking the rules tell us something about the environment."

Prior to the grades scandal, the Faculty did ''The institution has steadfastly refused to look at what not issue transcripts following December ''1 don't behe\ e that the Faculty or the Faculty's poliabout the em ironment might have fostered a mindset that exams. At a November 2000 faculty meetcies were in the end responsible for what happened. could have led to cheating on this <>calc. There arc a lot of ing the transcript issue was raised, howevThe responsibility .. rests with the students who were 1ssues like the pressure, the timing of job applications. What er most professors were not comfortable involved." we did instead was protect our brand by making sure that issuing official transcripts. The prevailing attitude among faculty was that these were Bay St. knew this could never happen again."

"It's been o very wrenching time fi1r the faculty, stujust "practice tests" used for "pedagogical dents, stnff and alumni. I don't d1scount for a moment purposes."

"Unless students stand up and say [the em·1ronment] is a the sen c of p:un that all of us suffered at that ue. But Also in November. professor Denise problem, it's hard for anyone el c to stand up. It is a probne\crtheless I'm hopmg now that \\e're healing and Reaume was preparing to teach her small ofuni .. ersity go,emance that any particular group is lem we're a stronger institution from that experience." group torts class when she overheard stuonly around for 3 or 4 years and uni\ crsities have a tendendents speculating about the upcoming cy to take ad\·antage of that. .. l would like to ee students December exams. One student asked how mount a public mqutry of their 0\\11 on the pressures of the had counselled students to alter their suspension, and the exams could be cons1dered "practice" environment, the stress they arc under, what they find congrades. Only one of the five had been pre- three who did not when law firms requested these marks ducive to lcamtng what they find detracting from their sent when Reaume's comments were admit guilt were from students applying for summer jobs. learning all with o viev. to . etttng the1r own recommendamade, and that student said she believed at referred to the Reaume spontaneously suggested a tions about the changes they v.ould like to see." the time that the comments were made as a Provost. "'QrO\e\>\ strateg-j" whereb)' a\\ ful>t )'earo; On June l 9, the lOke, "to ~et ~tunenb to re\ax." wou\n ~u'om\t !>tra\-&'nt />... grades, mak\n-& \t Dean Daniels asked Reaume for an Univerl>ity apoloimpo.~~ible for !inns to use the grades in explanation in a February 12th email. their evaluation process.

Unsatisfied with her explanation that it In early January 2001 the Career "protest strategy," Daniels recomwas a Development Office hosted a workshop on mended to the Provost's office that a spesummer employment. Although the CDO's cial examiner be appointed to investigate job information package told students that "the submission of first-year marks will her acts. On February 20th the University continue to be at the discretion of the stu- announced the investigation to the public dent," the firms made it clear that applica- with a posting on their website announcSPONSORS tions would be incomplete without the ing, "Law investigation extends to include professor." submission of first-term grades.

Although academics at Oxford, Yale, Rumours that some students bad or Columbia, and the London School of were preparing to submit false grades were Economics published an open letter brought to the attention of then Associate expressing concerns about the investigaDean Mayo Moran on January 19th, one tion, less than halfofthe U ofT law faculweek before the January 26th application of support. ty signed a letter deadline. Dean Daniels became aware of Reaume quickly launched a grievance the problem on January 31st.

On February 8th the administration was against the University, alleging that by becoming increasingly concerned. Ms. forming an investigative committee and Moran and Mr. Daniels drafted an email mentioning her name the University stating that it was an offence to forge or denied her the protection of anonymity falsify any academic record and that penal- owed to faculty members under investigaties for this offence could be as severe as tion. She also served notice that she was non-admission to the Ontario Bar. School prepared to sue Dean Ron Dan1els and officials then took the unprecedented step Vice-provost Paul Gooch for libel.

Meanwhile, the 34 alleged students met of requesting that firms return all of the with Professor Bruce Chapman. He applications in order to verify the grades excused nine students who had either students submitted with those actually reported the higher of a split grade, or subrecc1ved.

Thirty-four applications (out of approx- stituted their mark from their small group imately 80) were flagged as having dis- paper (with permission from their profescrepancies between the submitted marks sor). The remaining 25 were sent to the and the marks received. After Ultra Vires Dean for discipline proceedings.

Daniels began meeting with students on reported on the scandal, the story was Apnl 2. Three self-imposed deadlines picked up by newspapers across the counby before the students were finally went try. of their punishments on May I st: informed As the administration traced back stu17 students received one-year suspensions dent grades, parallel rumours involving and notations on their transcripts lasting Professor Reaume became prevalent. On until three months after graduation, five February 9th, five students contacted the received lesser sanctions ranging from a administration to report that a professor VAHCOI.MR • CAJ.GAifY • TllAClNlO • MCltO"IIlAi. • QU(II[C OTY • NEW'IOIIK • LONDON • JOHANNESIIUliG simple reprimand to a notation without

FASKEN MARTINEAU

Law Follies 2006 &Cast Party

14

February, 2006

gized to Professor Reaume, stating that she "did not counsel or intend to counsel students to cheat or otherwise commit an academic offence." Not one of the 25 students caught cheating implicated her. Reaume said she was very pleased with the settlement, calling it a "vindication" for academic freedom."

While the suspended students were shocked and angered by the severity of the discipline, most began serving their suspensions anonymously. One student gave up her anonymity and brought legal action against her one-year suspension.

Roxanne Shank's applicatio~ reported two C · grades, whereas she had in reality rcce1ved C grades. Citing the fact that her application was put together at the very last moment, Shank attributed the discrepancy to poor proofreading. Daniels did not accept this argument, concluding at the Dean's meeting, "In the end, I d<> not believe your account. . .I don't believe they (the C"'-'s) ended up there by accident."

This statement led to the Ontario Divisional Court overturning the one year suspension. Under the University of Toronto Academic Code, the Dean can only impose a sanction if the student

FEATURES admits to the offence. By stating, "I don't believe you," Daniels acknowledged that Shank had not admitted the offence. The court concluded that Shank had denied the essential mgredient of the offence, "the very thing the Dean found against her" and further that Daniels erred because it was "patently unreasonable to conclude that a denial is an admission."

While a final appeal to the University's disciplinary tribunal remained a possibility, Daniels announced that charges against Shank would be dropped. Of the three remaining students, only one ever appeared before the tribunal. He received a live-year suspension for not only lying about the exam marks but also trying to change the grades on the exam papers to match the grades submitted to the law firms.

Tn 2005, many of the implicated students completed their articles, still uncertain whether they would be deemed by the Law Society to have met the "good character" requirement for adm1ssion to the bar. At the last moment, the Law Society decided not to block admission, and the former U ofT students became lawyers.

"My first reaction was that I didn't believe lt ... 1 dealt persona\\y v.ith 'irtua\\y every student and I know what an incredible toll it took. It was a horrible period obviou ly."

"We anguished over [the punishment), and I think it overall was probably about right... My o;ensc IS that the vast maJonty of the students who were in\'olvedjust made a bad decision in the f.1cc oftcmptat1on. Probably most can sympathize" "[Dean Daniels] didn't handle th1s alone, there was a lot of input from a lot of people, there v. as a lot of consultation. I tlunk that under the cJrcumstances \\ hich were terrible and under the glare of publicity there were definitely thmgs \\C could do d1fferent m retrospect."

"We are stronger [as a result of tbe scondal] I think it forced some questions about reporting about the grades I am not sure this IS something that there \\ere a lot of 1,rrcat lessons coming out of."

"This was a screw-up, and I lay it largely at the feet of Ron Dan1els who created thi very bad atmosphere But the chool itself is a very strong school; it's a sign of a mature and re.~ponsible school if you arc prepared to remember the mstitutional inadequac1es that were rcspon ible."

"The one lesson that should be learned is that whoc\ er it IS in charge of the institution should be prepared to think seriously about the institutional context about v.Jiich something like the scandal arose. To dismis it is very wrong ... This is a very good law school and the reason that the story has to be told is because it's a great law school which needs to learn from its past."

Jim Phillips 1998. He lias (and remains) a strong supporter of Denise Rcawne, and is verJI critical of Dean Daniels' handing of the a..ffair He continues to teaclt at the Faculty.

"I was in England when the ~"tory broke. \ was surpri'ied at some \eve\, and a\so \\ seemed not surprising because of the continua\ prob\em w\\h these fiTS\ )'Car marks. At the Faculty Council meetmg \n November '2.()\l() there bad 'ocen a proposal about issu\ng statements of grnt\e.,;."

I

1

"It seemed to me clear that t11e statement [Reaume] mndc Wll" not an inducen1ent to fraud. She said if e~erybody dJd thilt then nobody could rely on the marks. If nobody could rely on the marks then nobody c.ould gain any advantage: SJJC was

not counseliJng fraud."

"I think [current students] have a very, very imperfect understanding ofwhar happened. To the extent that they are dimly aware I would prefer them to be property aware. These were not 24 bad apples, these \~ere regular people .. My sen e now is that (falsification of marks} probably had happened before, but almost certainly • not at the same level.''

"There 1s a long standing issue about whether we are an educational mstitution or arc part of the legal profession. Lots ofUS schools hme honour codes wh1ch would cover this type of thing. We don't assess chamcter; we don't even ask if people have a criminal record"

Tim Wilbur 1im U'ilhurltas mfirst rear uhenthe grades scandal occurred (he was not implicated) He current(v \i rites for The I.hwyers Weeki;.

"There was a group of people that were discussing what they should do w1th the grades. 1 think there v.crc students discussing with upper year students, and 1 imagine some were told that in previous years they had submitted higher grades."

CONGRAlULATlONS TOlHE CAST & CREW!

''In Daniels' first term he had created thi5 brittle atmosphere in which Faculty Council was made a mockery. and no importunt issues were discussed. It v.ns a one man band: he was in charge and he v.as going to do thmgs h1s way."

In 200I. Moran was the Associate Dean. She was one of the first members of Faculty mmre of the rumours, and was a contact poilltfor the Implicated students throughout the process. She i<1 now Dean.

ANl)Tf{t:

FACToRY

Hudson Janisch l\a~ a professor ofadministrative law at U ofT. He helped Roxanne Shank prepare for her judicwl revi£m, and supported her throughout the process. He retired in 2004 after 36 1•ears of teaching.

Profe~sur Phillips sen·ed as Assocwtc Dean from 1994

~fi,ARLIE

L

Hudson Janisch

Dean Mayo Moran:

"1 remember going to a seminar in January "here the linns told people what they wanted .. 1 found it odd that they v.anted grade<> in the first place- 1 didn't take [December exams] very seriously. It \\asn't like the final exams where you felt they were 'ery important."

'LArf

13

[Professor Reaume] wasn't telling them to send incorrect grades. I d~n't think she was responsible for anything that happened ... There was a lot offeehng that she was being used as a scapegoat."

"There were different views among students. Some thought they c.ould have done the same thing so they didn't want to judge the students negatively, ther~ were. some who felt very negatively ... I don't think you can put blame on an mstnutJon. Ultimately the individuals that did it were responsible. But. there was also o lot of uncertainty al}out what the importance of[ the exams] were. I don't think you are takmg the blame off the mdividual by looking at the institution."

Bruce Chapman Bmce Chapman was on sabhatical when the scandal broke, but was asked by the Faulty to play a lead role in the itwestigatirm and disctpline process. He remains a member of the Faculf).

"At the time r was on sabbatlcpl, I was asked to participate in the discipline process: 1 met with each student and attended their mectmgs v.ith the Dean. I "as upset, this is not the kind of story that one wants out there."

"We aren't comfortable with how [the December marks] are u cd. Our position is that we don't know they arc a good indicator of how students arc doing."

''It was an unhappy time at the school and it is not a good time to go back and look at it. It's not something we want to relive and this IS probably the worst time.

We have a nev. Dean and she is lookmg forward"

14

UV POLL

OPINIONS

2006

At UJ~ we '\'e got ourjinger on the pulse. We're not real~v sure ~rhat that means, but the point is that we like to know what students think We wouldn i be much ofa newspaper if we didn t Sometimes this requires stirring the pot on some conllvversial issues, and sticking our noses into topics that students may not feel comfortable tal/..ing about in person.

Remember that whole diversity incident last year? Yeah. that was us. Read on to find out ·which hornet :s- nest we're tluvwing rocks at this yeat: COMPILED BY ZIMRA YETNIKOFF, KATHY WATSON, ADRIENNE SUM AND STEPHEN BIRMAN

Surveys were completed by 124 students between February 6 and 9. 19% of respondents were in first year, 28% were in second year, 51% were in third year. and 1% were working on their LLM

would you describe yourself as a visible minority?

26% 65% 9%

Yes No Some other kind of minority

Having the option to identify yourself as a minority other than a visible minority this year reduced the number of people who did not select themselves as belonging to a minority. Last year the breakdown was Visible Minority/Aboriginal (25%), other (75%).

What was ~our favour\te 1st ~ear course?

28% 19% 21% 21% II %

Torts Criminal Contracts Constitutional Property

was your favourite class your small group?

32% 68%

Yes No

Torts had the highest popularity out of all first year classes, but most people who placed torts first did not do so because of having Torts as their small group. Having Property or Constitutional law as your small group had the greatest effect on choosing those classes as your favourites. Of those who chose Property as the1r favourite course, 62% had Property as their small group.

Of those who chose Constitutional as their favourite course, 48% had Constitutional as the1r small group.

Do you study more or less than your classmates?

IS% More 44% Less 41% About the Same A very small proportion of students actually think they study more than their fellow classmates. Maybe the front people put on that they don't study so much isn't such a front after all.

Based on your marks, what do you think is your class standing?

41% 52% 7%

Top third Middle third Bottom th1rd

U ofT students appear to be a confident lot. This may be in part due to confusion over what puts one in the top,

middle or bottom third of your class. After some intense discussion, UV staff has come to the conclusion that you can have a B average and still be in the bottom third of the class. This is because profs can mark everyone at the low end of the B spectrum and still wind up with a B class average, without having to give out any Cs. This might explain why so few students think they are in the bottom third of their class, and so many think they fall in the middle. However, there is no explanation for why so many believe they are in the top third ...

Top third

More

Less

About the same

26%

30%

44%

Only 26% of those who believe they are m the top third of their class also believe they study more than their classmates. 30% think they study less than their classmates. Hea\thy self-confidence or dangerous delusion?

You decide.

Male Top third Middle third Bottom third

52% 42% 38%

Female 48% 58% 62%

There is gender influence on where you place yourself in your class. Men were slightly more likely to place themselves in the top third of the class, more reluctant to place themselves in the middle third, and quite reticent to place themselves in the bottom third. Women on the other hand more often slotted themselves into the middle third, and were more likely than men to put themselves in the bottom third.

ultra vires tion is responding well to diversity issues. Most people don't sec the administration doing anything at alt.

How should the government approach crime?

How would you rate your time at ofT Law?

What is the one course you wish the Faculty offered but doesn't?

8% 16°/o

!he most recommended course was Critical Race Theory (1 1%). Next came a legal writmg class option in lst year (5%), US Constitutional Law (5%), and a class in Estates that was not offered at Osgoode (5%). Also receiving support were Income Trusts, Disability Law, Poverty Law, US Securities Law and Statutory Interpretation.

14°/o 4%

28% 50% 13% 8% 1%

Where do resources most need to be spent right now?

33% 10% 18% 31% 10%

In retaining and recruiting faculty In library resources In building a new school In funding clinics and internships Other

Of those who suggested other places to spend resources, 7% said resources need to be spent on financial aid, including scholarships and bursaries.

5°1o 15% l8°1o

10% parative 12% 55% 17% 4%

The results suggest that students are still deeply concerned about financial accessibility. This docs not line up with the faculty's focus on attracting students with more international and comparative law courses.

Who did you vote for on January 23rd?

29% 16% 43% 0% 4% 8%

Liberal Conservative NDP Bloc Other I did not vote

Well They're trying VVhatresponse?

Did not answer

Only a minority of students believe that the administra-

A not insignificant minority of students felt that the options in the poll were too restrictive, and would have chosen all or a combination of the options. Still other students suggested that the solution lies with having more police officers, better education systems and better sentencing policies.

If 1 were to choose the next leader of the Liberal Party. it would be: 21% 19% 10% 9% 1% 17% 19%

Michael lgnatieff Bob Rae Belinda Stronach Martin Cauchon Maurizio Belvilacqua Other Did not answer

Some students had a very negative reaction to the suggestion of Michael l gnatieff becoming the ne)(t libcm\ leader. Other popular nominees Wt;rC Stcphane Dion.

Andre\~

Pllliar, and "me."

Aboriginal people in canada should S6°10 Have satisfaction of land claims and self-government 32% Be integrated into Canadian society 5% Continue to rely on federally funded and controlled education and infrastructure programs on existing reserves 7% Did not answer

3% 43.5% 43.5% 10%

Too high Too low Just right Did not answer

Very few people thought that the target rate of I% immigration to Canada was too high. There was a very even split though between those who thought the rate was too low, and those who thought the rate was just right.

5% 95%

Yes No

One student suggested that one positive aspect of revisiting the issue would be that Stephen Harper was sticking to his campaign prom1ses.

Excellent Good Neither here nor there Poor 'Awful

How do you feel about expressing your personal or political views in class?

24% 36% 26% 14%

Very comfortable Somewhat comfortable Somewhat uncomfortable Very uncomfoi"!able

aid or were turned down. The percentage of students with high debt loads who did not receive anything may reflect the Faculty's parental deeming policies, or tho~e students whose summer earnings preclude them from receiving more financial aid. However, only 9 students fell into the $90,000+- range, so this is a fairly small sample of the most highly indebted students

Are you happy you went to law school?

Do you feel your professional choices have been affected by your debt load?

91% 8% I%

38% 62%

Yes No Sometimes

Are you happy you came to u of T? 87% 12% I%

Yes No Sometimes

To what extent do you agree with the statement "I feel like 1fit in here"?

24% 38% 17% 15% 7%

Strongly support Somewhat support Undecided Somewhat oppose Strongly oppose

Strongly support I 2.5% 27% Somewhat support 37.5% 27% Undecided 22% \ ~% Somewhat oppo"e \ 9"/o \ ~1Wn Strongly oppose 18% 9%

29% 40% \6%

Roughly half of visible and ot11cr minorit1es strongly or somewhat feel like they fit in here. compared to almost 70% of non-minority students who feel they fit in here.

Roughly 28% of visible and other minorities somewhat or strongly feel that they don't fit in here, while J5% of non-minority students feel the same way.

If you didn't come to u of T Law. where would you be?

Of those who answered this quest1on, 10% said they would be working, 8% would be working on a PhD, 13% would be working on a Master's degree, and 44% indicated that they would be at another law school. Of those who said they would be at another law school, 37.5% would be at Osgoodc, 17.5% would be at McGill, and I 5% would be at UVic.

Do you receive financial aid?

45% 55%

Yes No

What will your debt load be after graduation?

22°10 5% 7% 7% 9% 8% 7% 6% 13% 9% • 7%

$0 $1,000- $9,999 $10,000-$19,999 $20,000- $29,999 $30,000- $39,999 $40,000 - $49,999 $50,000- $59,999 $60,000- $69,999 $70,000- $79,999 $80,000- $89,999 $90,000+

The weight of debt load does not seem to correspond to whether students receive financial aid or not.

Unfortunately, the survey data does not reveal whether students who received no financial applied for financial

Yes No

Although most people said that their debt load did not affect their personal choices, there does seem to be a gender impact amongst those who do feel that their professional choices have been affected. 57% of those who believe their professional choices have been affected arc women, versus 43% men.

Do you feel your family planning priorities have been affected by your debt load?

25% 43% 32%

Visible !\1inority Other Minority Other

The current immigration rate to canada (1% aiml is:

Should same-sex marriage be revisited by Parliament?

u

Being of a visible or other type of minority did have an effect on how you feel you fit in here:

This question bothered several people for reducing such a complex question mto a multiple ch01cc answer that limited the issue. Instead, these students think we should be rethinking our entire approach to aboriginal rights in Canada.

There were a lot of complaints about this question for being underinclusivc. PBSC was not an official choice in the poll, and neither was doing nothing, sleeping or drinking ...

10% 35% 41% I 5%

1

An even greater focus on international or comlaw A more diverse faculty A better financial aid package A better buzz about U ofT Law Combination of the above

Writing for UV DLS Legal Journal (Law Review, etc.)

Competitive Mooting IHRP Working Group Other D1d not answer

How has the administration responded to the diversity issues raised at the end of last year?

56° o

Handgun regulation Harsher punishments Social support• All or a combination of the above Other

What do you think would make the school most appealing to incoming students?

What was your favourite extracurricular activity this year?

13% 27% i6% 6%

15

UV POLL

February, 2006

14

Yes No I have no fami ly planning priorities

Again, there is a gender impact. While only 25% of students polled felt that their family planning priorities had been affected by their debt load, this 25% was mostly made up of women (63%). Furthermore, of those \\ho felt their family planning priorities were not affected by their debt load, only 40% are women while 60% arc men.

oo 'IOU l)\an on clonat\ng mone'l to the \a'W ~~hoo\ afte1' g1'aciuat\on tincluding araditudeJ? 19%

45% 36%

Yes

No Maybe

were you affected by the faculty's decision to remove the option of typing exams in the computer lab?

24% 76%

Yes No

Did you feel the faculty should have first consulted with students before making this decision?

75% Yes 25% . No Regardless of the fact that only 24% of students were affected by the decision to remove the lab option, 75% of students polled felt that the faculty should have consulted with students before making the decision.

were you surprised at Dean Moran's appointment?

74% 26%

Yes No

Do you think this appointment represents ...

79% A change in direction for the law school 12% Keeping the law school on the same track 5% Dean has very little influence over the direction of the law school 4% Other

• t I

------------------------------------------------------------------~LAWFOLLIE~S----------------------------------------------------------------~1~7

''''''"'

OPINION AND EDITORIAL

18

ultra vires 14

February, 2006

OPINION AND EDITORIAL

EDITORIAL

UL·T RA VI R E S

For an honour code

19

Gender disparity at the ballot box Female cabinet appointments hide discouraging reality for women in politics

Ultra Vires is the independent student newspaper of the Faculty of Law at the University of Toronto.

Editor-in-Chief Ke1r Wilmut Associate Editor Geoff Moysa News Geoff Moysa Opinion and Editorial Ben Reentovich Legal Issues Sarah McEachern Features Z1rnra Yetnikoff Diversions Angela Chu Production Editor Laura Bowman Soul-patch editor Andrew Pilliar Business /Jfanager Anne Weintrop Gamestress Stephanie Giannandrea

Contnbutors Sam Ault, Kathryn Bird, Stephen Binnan, Ted Chiasson, Leslie Church, Tyler Dellow, Melanie DeWit, Kiran G11l , Kristin Janson.

Danny Kastner, Malcolm Katz, Emily Kcttcl, Mike Kotrly. "'ick Macheras. Ada Mok. Hadiya Rodenque, Dave Seevaratnam, Amy Smeltzer. Jonathan Song, \4att Sudak, Sayran Sulevani. Alexa Sul7enko. Adnenne Sum, Gab1 S :crze, Emma Williamson

U\tra Vtre~ \s an editoria\\y autonomous newspaper. We are open to contributions which reflect d\ven.e l)O\nts of view, and our contents do no\ nece~o;.ari\)' reflect the vi.ews of the facu\t)' of Law, the Students' Law Soc\et)' ~SLS), or the ed\toria\ board. We we\come contributions from students, Faculty, and other interested persons.

Ultra Vires reserves the right to edit submissions for length and content.

Advertising inqutries should be sent to the attention of the business manager at ultra.vires@ utoronto.ca.

The next issue will be published on February 14th The deadline for submissions is February 7th.

Submission limit: 850 words.

Communications Centre, Falconer Hall 84 Queen's Park Crescent, Toronto ON M5S 2C5 ultra.vires@utoronto.ca (416) 946-7684

Bathroom Ru1es: 1.Do NOT pee on the seat.

2.Make sure that your flush is effective.

3.1f you managed to fail in either of the above two items, please rectify the problem.

Thank you, Your fellow students

This February's Sign of Insanity

There's seldom a dull moment around our taw school, but in 200 I the controversies reached a critical mass. As the class of 200 I prepared to receive the first J.D. degrees awarded in Canada, the class of 2003 was tainted by the grades scandal while applying for summer jobs (see pages 12-13). The events of that year may seem unrelated, but a closer look suggests an important relationship between them, and a lesson that should not be forgotten.

Both inctdcnts attracted national attention and criticism. Year by year, the grades scandal has slowly faded from our consciousness as the three-year clock resets on the school's institutional memory. We're reminded. however, of the switch to the J.D. every time another class graduates and is bestowed with those two weighty letters.

Despite all the controversy and criticism the change has attracted, aU ofT degree remains one of the most sought-after in Canada, and a good deal of alumni have paid the fee to have their degrees changed from LL.B. to J.D. Now, students in the other Ontario law schools are pushing to change to the J .D. as well (see page I).

Beyond the superficial appeals to American employers. there are some compelling reasons to distinguish the Canadian legal education from the LL.B. Student.. in other Commonwealth countnes such as the UK and Australia can start thc1r legal studies straight out of high school, making the LL.B. a true bachelor's degree. By contrast, the vast majority of Canadian law students have completed a bachelor's degree, while some have also completed graduate degrees. It makes sense, then, to apply a different label to distinguish these two classes of students.

But if we're going to msist that our designations signify a htgher degree of academic and professional maturity, then our conduct has to reflect those heights. Ironic, then, that the school's most embarrassing ethics-related scandal erupted in the same year as it foisted thi·s elevated status on its graduates.

The role of a lawyer is an ethically challenging one, stemming from a contradictory public view of the legal profession: both pariah ang public servant.

On one hand, the profession is viewed in derogatory terms; today's anti-lawyer jokes are merely the modem example of a sentiment seemingly as old as the profession itself.

If this sentiment represented the complete view of lawyers' role in society, discussions of legal ethics would be straightforward: outside of the minimal requirement to follow the law, there would be none. Nothing outside of self-advancement would be expected, and so we could scarcely be faulted when members of the profession

demonstrated questionable, but legal, conduct.

However, at the same time as being portrayed as unscrupulous profit-maximizing sharks, lawyers are expected to serve the greater good of justice and truth: The oath that lawyers take when they are called to the bar requires them to work for greater justice. Compared to this requirement to take action, the passive obligation of doctors to "do no harm" is trivial.

Lawyers, in short, are expected to not just well-serve their paying clients, but also behave in a good and ethical manner that promotes the public interest. It's a complicated role, and not one that students should be expected to magically understand after a few torts classes.

While the Legal Ethics Bridge Week is a good start, the expectations of the profession and the Faculty should be made clear to students from the moment they walk in the doors of Flavellc (or wherever the school ends up after the move). This is one area where we perhaps should follow our American counterparts; new students should be required to sign and accept an Honor Code detailing the expectations placed on them as law students.

This would not only help reduce the possibility of another ethical scandal amongst the student body in the future. It would also be an important first step on the road to the higher ethical standards expected of lawyers. It would ensure that the expectations of the Faculty are clear, and ensure that students have no excuse · should they fail to meet them. It's a fair price to pay for the privilege we've chosen to decorate ourselves with.

BY KATHRYN BIRD Robert D. Putnam once said: "the more competitive the political position of any g1ven provincial or federal party - and thus the higher the power stakes within that organization the fewer women arc to be found ."

Being a woman in the Conservative Party of Canada is a brilliant career move at first glance. Over 40°'o of the

elected office in the first place Of 1634 candidates in the last election, only 23% were women. Therefore, one could argue that it is not the constituents who choose not to elect women; it is the women who choose not to be elected.

This leads us to the larger and more dif• ficult question of why, if women consist of more than 50% of Canada's population, do we chose not to run for office? I am not going to attempt to answer this question m a n y authors, more eloquent and intelltgent than myself, have opinions on this subject ranging from the constraints imposed by the gendered roles of women in society, to the difficulties in raising political campaign funds and I will not presume to try and sort out which, if any, of these opinions is correct.

However, I am reminded of a statement, made by our newly appointed Dean Moran at a recent SLS Town Hall, that without the encouragement of others around her she simply would not have thought to submit her name to the Dean Search Committee.

Is it possible that part of the multifaceted reason that women do not run for office is that they never really thought about it? And if this is so, are we surprised?

Women in Canadian parliament have

"Is it possible that part of the multi-faceted reason that women do not run for office is that they never really thought about it? And if this is . d?" so, are we surpnse Conservative women elected in January's federal election were given Cabinet posts by the newly crowned Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. Those are pretty good odds. If you are attempting to climb the political ladder, ladies, you have a very good chance at being given a great job under the leadership of the Conservatives.

Albeit, you probably give up your right to abortion, but in the quest for power and notoriety, these things are of little consequence!

The above statistic belies a serious problem in Canadian electoral politics.

Overall, women make up little more than 20% of the politicians in the house.

Following a sharp rise in the 1980s, the percentage of women representatives has remained constant throughout the last decade.

Behind the number of women actually elected, (arguably, the wisdom of the people holds true and the best person for the job will eventually end up w1th the seat), is the number of women who run for an

2006 1997 1993 1988 1984 1980 1972 1963 1953 1945 1935

Conservative I

canactiM

Progressive

AIII&Wlee I Reform

NDP/

-

108 (12) 88 (5) 107 (8) 113 (1)

Uberal

Conservative

79 (21) 65 (39) 84 _{37) 64 (36) 53 (13) 44(5) 23 (1 0) 10 (3) 6 (3) 3 (1) 1 {0) 1 (0)

38 (14) 39_(1) 56 (2) 67 (1) 37 (21) 23 (19) 14 (2) 6 (1) 12 (1) 10 (3) 2 (0)

32(7} 23 (4) 23 (7) 8 (0)

-

-

-

PICTURE YOURSELF AT BLAKES. Where great work and great people come together.

--..,.._-- - ~--- --- -~

MONTRlOAL OTTAWA TORONTO

candidates, in accordance with their longstanding "commitment" to female representatives. But only 12% of their elected members are women, which begs the question of whether they ran a strategic campaign of placing women in less "winnable" ridings.

Notwithstanding the less than impressive performance of the other "main" party, the scarcity of female Conservatives should be setting off alarm bells in the heads of those women (and men) that support women's rights and believe that women have a contribution to make to society. The fact that the governing party of Canada couldn't drum up more than 38 women to run for them is troub\i.ng to sa'j the least. What exactly hides within a platform, or a party mandate, for that matter, that results in such a male dominated party? I don't know, nor to 1 care to find out. .. but I wonder if "Apocalypse Now" isn't an apt term for the Stephen Harper Minority Government of2006.

Number of Female candidates in each party and fnumber elected)

2000

Former law prof and Liberal star Anne McLellan ran, but lost her Edmonton riding

historically not held prestigious positions. There has never been a female Minister of Finance, Foreign Affairs, Transport or Fisheries. Historically, women that have held cabinet postt1ons are given "fluffy" portfolios including Human Resources, Children and Youth, and Multiculturalism. This holds true for the Harper's Cabinet; of the 6 women appointed all hold relatively unimportant positions with the exception of the Minister of National Revenue.

The result of the overwhelmingly male appoibtments to prestigious seats is that we are assailed with images of male politicians. One cannot help but wonder if the lack of female representation in mediafriendly positions doesn't, to a degree, constrain the imaginations of the politically minded females in the audience.

Leaving the lack of historical candidacy aside, for the Conservative party the percentage of female electoral candidates in the last election was an alarming 12%.

Moreover, only ll% of Conservative MPs are women.

When compared to the other parties, the paucity of female representatives is striking. The BQ had 30% female candidates and 33% of their seats are held by women.

The NDP boasts 41% female MPs and had 35% women candidates. The Liberals were more akm to the Conservative pattern, they managed to have 25% female

CALGARY VANCOUVER

NEW YOR K CHICAGO

LONDON

BEIJING

CCF

84 (5) ~3)

33 (2) 28 (1) 13 (0) 10 (0) 6 (1 7 (0)

Total (all parties) 380 (64) 373 (62) 406{62)_ 476 (53) 302 (39) . 214 (27) 218(14) 71 (5) 40 (4) 47 (4) 19{1) 16 (2)

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CASSELS& GRAYDONLLP BARRISTERS & SOLICITORS

20

ultra vires

OPINION AND EDITORIAL

14

February, 2006

Hey Glover, don't be such a Hungary hater

BY GABI SZERZE

Millennium Memorial which features statues of the leaders of the seven tribes that I am writing this letter in regards to Chris founded Hungary m the 9th century, as Glover's Hungary-bashmg article in well as, other outstanding figures of Volume 7, Issue 4 of Ultra Vire~. I'm not Hungarian history such as Szent Istvan, sure which shocked me more, the factual our first king, Ference R3k6czi, a noble inaccuracies of your article, or the fact that Hungarian general who revolted against the Hapsburg rule, and Lajos Kossuth, the UV actually printed it.

You arc entitled to your personal opin- father of Hunganan democracy. All of ion. But as a proud Hungarian, I was whom were real people who have "won offended by your article which stereotyped wars, or accomplished things." The conall Hungarians as fat, lazy, mythical hero- struction of the square began in 1896 to celebrate the I 000 year anniversary of the worshipping, deeply miserable people.

I have spent nearly half my life in creation of our natiOn. You're right to point Hungary and cannot disagree more with out that it IS not a Soviet War memorial, as you about your views of the Hungarian Hungary docs have many other significant culture. Considering the relatively small events worthy of memorializing, other size of I lungary and the few things, if any, than the revolt against the Soviets.

It's true that Hungarians love their food that most people know about it, I thought it would be Important to point out some of and are not rigid calorie counters. We love the factual errors in your article, so people our famous and delicious sausages, stews, don't get the wrong impression. pastries and icc-cream, but that's not ALL I'm not sure dear Mr. Glover where you that we cat! The Hungarian diet doesn't got your information that most Hungarian "mainly consist of fried pork fat." Fried heroes are myth1cal. You mentioned a visit pork fat IS used mostly as a decoration for to Heroes' Square, but obviously you did- dishes, or It's used in small amounts to o 't sign up for the $5 tour, so let me edu- flavour food. For example, we use it as cate you a little as to its significance. bacon bits, similar to how Canadians use it The highlight of Heroes' Square is the as a topping for baked potatoes. Next time

you're out in a restaurant try the spicy fishermen soup, lecso (a very typically tomato, pepper, and onion based dish) or a crepe tf you are looking for a "healthier" meal.

Hungarian model Doniz szab6. Point, Cabi.

I'm surpnsed that you called Hunganans "prodigious slackers" for not working on weekends. Have you actually been out on the weekend to try to buy something? We have lots of big box, WalMart like stores such as Metro, Tesco and Cora which are open 2417. Banks, it's true, are closed on weekends, but that's no different from what you've come to expect in Canada. Most small boutique stores are open on Saturday, as that is the main shopping day and on Sundays, yes, these small stores are closed. Sunday is the day most Hunganans take off to relax, gather with thctr friends and family and enjoy life. If this is what you call being ''prodigious slackers" then I suppose we are.

Perhaps the reason you have to take 40% more course work at the CEU is because you still have a lot to learn, my friend. I recommend you resist the negative impacts of the culture shock, and try to keep an open mind as you experience this new culture. You never know, Hungary and its people may still come to grow on you.

u re [,ol•t'. To quoit' Adam Ilzrsh (as Dt<lll Damr/.1) in Law Fol/zes, "Plato OIICt' said that without lovt, all u·e have zs like." Sadly, 11 Sft'IIIS ltk~ u lot qj'law studmts have nothing other than "likt" tlu~~e da_vs. A high LS.tiT and a long list of e.rtrcuurriculars might Ktl you i11to law sdwo~ but IItty llrt' 110 guarantu of success in matters of tlu~ hear/ If u.·e can't.find lore in the tt~rget-rich, alcolwl-soah·ed mvironmml of law schoo~ tt•ht~tlwpt do us singus hat'e ona u•t mtu tht h;per-busy pn!fo.•Honal world? .Ire we doomed to Frid«.Y nights alone in the qffice, with only our dicltzplwnt to keep us company? ff"itlt this scar.J thought in mind, Ultra l'tres conductfd a spl'ctal investigation q( the datwg scmr.for )'OIIIIg profissionals. Tf'e smt murageous law stutlmts to test the waters of two popul.zr techniqul's amongst tht J11ppir set spud dating, and online matchmaking.

Cautwn: The results ma) terrifi.· you.

Speed dating: The OCis of love City. Even more disconccrtmgly, women apparently attend these events in packs, which means that you're left wit~ a someAlt. OCh. Time-limited ctm••er.\ aliom about .fiwn•tl topic,, .fi·a!ttic attempt.\ Ill what bizarre sense of being interrogated quic/..~r impre.\ .\ a total .\ trunger, tllltl the •·ague .\ ellw that you are about to get not just by a particular woman in whom scTt.'II'L'd. lley, •rlty not re-lh·e tilL' expaienc·e, on~r ll'itlt nwrc• boo:.e. le.' ·' time, you might be interested but also by her anti the potelltial.for ac·tua/ \lTC'II'ing :'!? friends. Of course, that could be a positive Speetl tlatiug inl'llh·e.' paying a .\ en·ice tl .fi•e (u·ltidt mnge' betll'een S-lfl-8() in as well-every guy has dated a girl and Tt11·onto) in order to attend an e•·c•ning with till anortment of' other (tlteoreticalhated her friends. This allows you to get ~1') _,ingle people. "Date''" ltl\(fimr minutes. at which point 11 ll'lti.,tlc• h/1111'.\. some of that out of the way beforehand by Participant' gin• the• pen lin lte or .\ Itt• jtl\t met a ye.v'tw ranl..ing. tmtlmm·e 1111 to investigating as to whether or not any of tltc• m '.\'1 nmdidatc•. . 1./t'll' day.' latc·t~ f1tlrticiptmt' are gh·en the conltlct il~/imtw­ her friends would be deal breakers. tion of any yc'' l ye.' matclte,.

Unfortunately, if one of the women you've just met isn't really your style, you're left through work or school. There's no real with knowing that you've got five more way of knowing whether the person that just like her to grind through. you've just met is legitimate.

The dates were essentially four minute I'm also deeply attached to my own par- repeats of your first day of law school with ticular method of connecting with women vanations on "Where are you from?" (meeting them, deciding l like them, and then just hanging around indefinitely to

Public access should be made accessible As we start to talk (once again) about a new building (or a renovated old building) for the law school, I wanted to raise the issue of access.

No, not the issue of who gets to attend the law school (although this is a problem). Not even the issue of how those with mobility impairments get around the law school (this is an even bigger problem).

I want to take a couple of column inches to talk about how the public interacts with and gains access to the law school.

For those who do not attend the school and who have not been given a tour, the combination of new and old, Flavelle and Falconer, makes for a confusing and intimidating experience. I remember when I was considering going here. I wandered into Flavelle searching for the financial aid office and spent a good while wandering the halls before I figured out I was in entirely the wrong building.

The law school has a great potential to educate and serve the public good through public legal education and seminars.

Despite whatever job security we might gain from it, I believe that the law should not be impenetrable to the layperson. I believe that an attempt to educate either the general public or specific interest groups about the issues which affect them can only serve to improve the sorry reputation lawyers enjoy in the world today.

Having said that, the utility of increased public access to the law school must be carefully balanced against a real need for security, especially for those who must work late and alone. Who has not had at least one class dtsrupted by people who

seem to have just wandered in off the street?

And why do the music students keep stealing all the space in the Rowell room?

Our current set up gives us the worst of both worlds.

We have no

security for the offices and areas which

really should be secure, while the layout of the classrooms deters all but the most dedicated from finding out where the public conferences or seminars are being held.

Perhaps we need to better divide the public aspects of the law school from those which should be held private and secure.

I am not an architect, nor do J have time to become one. But I thought perhaps that this issue ought to be raised before pen is laid to paper and formal planning begins.

" People who would

. .......

~ '), ~~-

.. 1say, Barnaby, why throw down in Fisticuffs when we could engage in a gentlemanly disagreement in the next edition of the Ultra Viresr

people and free drinks

excel in this format probably don't need to do it. "

A gussied-up Tyler prepares to meet his match.

... -.._...r ....

"What did you do your undergrad in'?" and all of the other questions that law students remember from their first week. Nothing particularly substantive was discussed and, in fairness to the people I met, it's difficult to make an impression discussing these questions unless you do something particularly unique or intcrcstmg.

Would I recommend this to other people? No. The problem is, people who would excel in this format (those who can stand out and seem interesting in four minutes) probably don't need to do it. Tho. c who would benefit from it as a method of meeting women will probably run into the same problems that have plagued them all along. There's no real upside for anyone except the people collectmg the money; kind of like how a pimp makes out best in the prostitute/john/pimp tno. Pass.

L ike OCis, minus the charming

,;

BYTED CHIASSON

21

LOVE & VALENTINES

BY TYLER DEUOW Like many people, I was initially hesitant about taking part in this. My first concern was the fraudulence of the entire thing - I don't generally go to bars in Yorkville, I don't wear suits on dates (although several of the guys there were significantly less dressy), I do generally wear a baseball cap and I am not a two time recipient of the Ronald J. Daniels award for outstanding achievement m the field of foppishness.

Some of these women may have got incorrect impressions over the course of the evening none of the traditional checks and bal- ~ ances that are in place when you meet

or

see if they'll make a move). What it lacks in efficiency, it more than makes up for in terms of not requiring any positive action on my part.

Speed dating? Not so much. From the moment you sit down, you've got to carry the ball conversationally: this can be difficult if the person you're talking to is big on monosyllabic responses, boring, or, as happened to me in one case, drunk and kind of iffy in the Making Sense Department. For those four minutes, you're locked in and you've got none of the outs associated with meeting people in other contexts. I can see this being a selling point if you lack the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation or if you only work and socialize in environments that do not have persons of your preferred dating gender (I think I met about 7 teachers) but absent that, the format is not a real selling point.

As for the actual people that you meet when you attend an evening of speed dating, I was struck about halfway through the evening with the impression that the women I was meeting were all rejected potential characters from Sex and the

so far out of your league, she's In a dif ferent sport.

BY MElANIE DEWIT Hypothesis: In our fast paced world where 30 is the new 20 and we keep hitting the snooze button on our biological clocks, isn't speed dating the modem social safety net for the discontented unwed? It may be oddly reminiscent of OC!s (a series of 4 minute dates during which you try to score a callback before the bell sounds), but aren't the odds at least one in twenty?

Methodology: Yorkville lounge.

Twenty men aged 25-34, four minutes each. Undercover as a single woman in her mid-twenties. $45.

Results and discussion: I'm not prepared to discount t~e possibility that somewhere in Toronto, people are attending the kind of speed dating event that

leaves them feeling all warm and fuzry.

This was not one of those events.

Girls. be warned: During one particularly long four minute segment of my life, my 'date' told me a story about how "one time, I was getting a lap dance, and this girl kept asking me why Blockbuster had cancelled their late fees, and I wa~ like •Honey, I'm paying $20 a song for this, would you just shut up!?'" Strtke me dead by lightning if I'm lying.

Four minutes later, I was holding my breath (not because my heart fluttered with excttement and anticipation, but because date number twelve had a serious case of halitosis) as Wayne sheepishly explained that he was quite tired and did· n't have much to say. He wasn't "used to speaking to all these girls" as he'd been single for "one year, five months and two weeks." Oh Wayne, how can I put this .•.

I'm just not that into you (p>0.05). Would someone please ring a bell!

Conclusion: Ladies, we are part of a . generation of women who were told that we can have it all and that there is no rush for the white poutfy dress or picket fence.

But in the coming years, while you're busy being your fabulous self, you may realize that the snooze feature on your clock has an expiry date or that watching Jon Stewart over a pint of ice cream is best done a deux.

Will speed dating will lead to a roseladen aisle? I'm not so sure. And at least at OCis, they send thetr best people out to meet you and the drinks are free.

ultra vires

LOVE & VALENTINES

22

Love in a click of the mouse?

NICI(_232

2S

Nick vs. Nikki: an online odyssey of oddities

Tum-on.:

believe that the dating scene can be fun and exciting. Personally, I enjoy the tangible qualities of sipping a beer and talking to a real woman in real time. For others, the online adventure has its perks and perhaps makes more sense for them given their any other tactic to avoid unwanted men. unique interests. But When this idea was originally con- be forewarned, the ceived, it was believed that a single, online scene can be "female" law student would attract atten- very, very sketchy. tion from online daters because of "her" As I try to claw my career aspirations. We thought it would be way back to zero on funny to see if the "she" could beat the he. the Kinsey scale, I Apparently, all that matters for men is the hope that all men readnotional concept of femaleness. As Nick, I ing this will remember managed to attract up to 14 different to tread a little more women, 3 of whom who were interested in lightly on their way to my legal studies. As for Nikki, "she" man- that cute girl across aged to get over 300 hits, none of which the bar. As for the had an interest in who "she'' was, and most women out there, I of them horrifying portrayals of men. have one question: I've always found gender distinctions how the hell do you fascinating and have been known to clear wash off your eyelinthe room with long-winded lectures on the er? My face is still brilliant comic features of Shakespeare's swollen from all the cross-dressing plays. But this experience soap and scrubbing! was too surrea\. ln truth, l still want to

/;"n•,:rtltiug tltt•'e day.' i' done 1111 tile intaut•t. .1/SY fla, rep!at"etl m ·tual nm,·enation,, ll!at"!..herrie., lta1·e replttt"etl t"dl plume,, tmtl .llen-ii/Jmleu pret~r much rum our tlay-to-tlay lire,. II itll our 11£'11' go-go-go /1111' lifc•.,~rln. it '''""'' iunitah/e tit at dating ll'oult! mm·e online. too. II hy pay al/eutiou in . It/min /. all' Jl•llt•n you t"tlll he peru,iug picture' olt"tllllltfn, Toronto 'iugle.\ ? li1 tt''t tlti' fertile nell' hreetliug grouml. H't' 'eut a third-year ''""''"' wlto we 'II m/1 "\it"!.. .l/" illlo the depth' ol qhertlatin:: jill' a ddidou., £'.\perimeut.

Simulttmeou,~r. ,..,. f'tl\led flrt!fift•, ol regular ··. Yit"l. "am/ hi' jc•tt"hing j(•male 1·eniou. ••.\i!..!..i" on till onlint• dating .\ile. l.ettltejim IJt~::iu.

BY *NICKM"

My experience as the fairer sex was haunting. A simple sociological exercise pitted Nick against Nikki - my female doppelganger- in an effort to see who could garner more attention from online suitors.

Nikki handily won.

While that result alone was disturbing, the truly haunting part was how aggressively men pursued Nikki. On behalf of the male gender, I feel it's my duty to issue an apology to any woman who has ever had to: listen to a lame pickup line; drink a bad martini; laugh at a stupid joke; create a fake boyfriend to avoid being asked out; produces a fake number because the boyfriend hint was missed; leave a bar early~ fake a ce\\ phone ca\\; buy a Fox 40 whlst\e~ put up with honking horns; take a )udo c\as!>~ train a German Sheppard; or

14

February, 2006

Kristin & Leslie At the

Movies. ~ .

BY KRI5nN JANSON ANDLESUE CHURCH

Batman Begins. Wait, that's the Razzies.

Speakmg of Dawson~· Creek, Michelle Williams deserves her nomination for Brokeback but will likely lose to either Rachel Weisz, who's been unexpectedly cleaning up at all the other awards shows, or another lady widely recognized as being under-recognized for her acting chops, Catherine Keener. I'm sticking with Capote and Keener on this one. One little moVJe does not erase the memories of six melodramatic seasons with Williams on the Creek.

Best Supporting Actor

lJiw, literature, sunsets, holding h!Kids, unicorns, long walks on the beach.

Tu......otfs: • Judicial act1vosm, bad ldSRrs.

RESULTS:

nmeOn-Une:

KJ: It's February, which often means Valentine's Day nausea ts setting in, but for some of us, it means that we're one step closer to finding out which film of the past year will surpass all competition and be deemed the best according to 2,500 old, grey, Hollywood insiders.

14

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LC: Like so many other Oscar critics who have absolutely no credtbility yet line the pages of every newspaper with their pithy predictions, we've also decided to use the opportunity to self-aggrandize ourselves as resident pop culture gurus by offering up our predictions for this year's Oscars. So here we go ...

KJ: George Clooney owns this category, having gained artistic notice for trashing the Bush government through historical and contemporary analogy in both Syriana and Good Night, and Good Luck. Since he's going to be shut out in his other nominations for Best Director and Original Screenplay, the Academy will throw the Best Supporting Actor in his direction.

LC: I have big issues with this category. William Hurt's performance in A History

KJ: This is the award the nominees may

Vegas Odds on Best Picture

Occupation: Law Student Tum-On•:

CnmlnallJiw, shopping tn Par1s, dubbing In NYC, nlm, music, educated men

Tum..()ffs:

Long hair, gold chains, small talk, guys who can't keep up with me.

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Best Actor KJ: Coming off of recent wins at the Golden Globes and Screen Actors Guild awards, Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote seems poised to take the triple crown, but there's still a chance for Heath Ledger m Brokeback Mountain to mutter his way into the hearts of Oscar voters. Hoffinan 's performance is at times overly mannered while Ledger may gain from Brokeback 's momentum in the Best Picture category where Capote is likely to be a bridesmaid. Oscar hates forgone conclusions, so my pick is Ledger, but that's also because of the unsavory crush I developed on him after multiple viewings of m Ten Things I Hate About You ...

Brokeback Mountain crash Munich Capote Good Night, and Good Luck

1:10 8:1 25:1 25:1 50:1

LC: I think Hoffinan is going to hang on and take the pnze in part because he's a 38-year old bearded redhead with a gut who the Academy will reward for hanging in there this long. However. I think the real best actor from the past year was Ralph Fiennes in The Constant Gardener, The White Countess and even Harry Potter and the Goblet ofFire. What is it going to take for th1s man to get a best actor nomination? He's done blind, disfigured, distraught, and even demented... unless they remake Gandhi, he's never getting an award.

Best Actress

"Why I want to work for BLG when I graw up.

By Suzie Hendersonr.". All rights reserved. Copyright 2004."

1

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IOIOEN LAONEI GERVAIS

IT B E G I NS WITH S E RV ICE

LC: I predict Reese Witherspoon will be walking home with this one fo~ her portrayal of June Carter Cash in Walk the Line. Frankly, no one saw Mrs. Henderson Presents or North Country, Keira Knightly, while good in Pride & Prejudice, just hasn't patd her dues, and can anyone stomach giving an Oscar to a desperate housewife in only a marginally good movie?

of Violence was little more than a spoof of be happy not to win. The Academy likes the well-worn gangster persona, and where 'em young and unknown, and Amy Adams is Bill Nighy's sly diplomat from The in Junebug is ripe to be the next rectpient of Constant Gardener? Frankly, I'll be happy this Oscar curse, otherwise known as the with anyone but Paul Giamatti. If he wins Marisa Tomei!Mira Sorvino ticket to obscufor Cinderella Man, it will be a concesston rity. As Pochabontas in Terence Malick's for Sideways being sidelined at last year's The New World, Q'Orianka Kilcher is missOscars. Both are overrated films with the ing from this category. I blame Colin former picking up an inexplicable nod for Farrell.

KJ: Actually, I think Felicity Huffinan is Best Makeup. With his penchant for pick- The Lesser Awards: going to win it for Transamerica specifical- ing fights, I thought Russell Crowe always ly because everyone wants to see the size of looked beat up? Wake up and give the LC: The other awards are always a toss Teri Hatcher's tantrum. After her winsome award to Jake Gyllenhaal for a transformaup who really knows the difference tional performance that breaks your heart.

Emmy speech remiruscing about when she between Art Direction and was fat and ugly (yeah, of course she was Cinematography? March ofthe Penguins is her and Julia Roberts), voters will be eager Best supporting Actress the only documentary people have heard of, to reward the rags to riches story. Being let alone seen, and will trump Murderball in married to indie superstar Wilham H. Macy LC: My vote goes to Katie Holmes in this category. Sound Mixing and Sound only adds to her Oscar pedtgree.

Editing are interesting because of the generational showdown between Peter Jackson's King Kong and Sptelberg's War of the Worlds. Too bad you were relegated to the sound categories, boys.

KJ: I really hope The New World picks up Best Cinematography, but it's just a consolatton prize for its lack of nominations anywhere else. Again, I blame Colin Farrell. Oddly, Batman Begins picked up its only nomination in this category, but is unlikely to take the Golden Man home.

Chalk up one more for that big Alberta sky in Brokeback Mountain. What I'm dying to see is the performance of "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," the nominee for best original song from Hustle & Flow. Can they say "Pimp" in primetime?

LC: Original Score pitches John Williams against, well, John Williams. The Globe went to Williams for Memoirs of a Geisha, and its only real competition comes from the simple guitar of Brokeback Mountain which has inspired countless mtemet spoofs. For an $80 million movie, taking home the Oscar for Original Score will be cold comfort for Geisha on Oscar night.

Best Picture LC: Brokeback, a\\ the way. lt wi\\ also scoop Best D1rector for the ex.q_u\s\\c A.ng Lee, rcbound\ng from the disastrous Hulk, and

Adapted Screenplay, where its only competition is A 1/istory of Violence Cronen berg's History was shut out of the main categories, and this may be the Academy's only opportunity to throw a bone to Cronenberg's well-received flick based on a graphic novel. Frankly, the movie was probably too graphic for all those Academy members barely surviving on life-support. so the picturesque gay love story based on Annie Proulx's short story will prevatl.

KJ: Although Crash seems to be gaining momentum, which is quite the feat since it premiered at the Toronto Film Festival way back in 2004, I agree that Brokeback will walk away with Best Picture.

Crash won't be empty-handed - after bemg passed over last year for Million Dollar Baby, the Academy will likely n.'Cogmze Paul Haggis for his Original Screenplay. His main competition is Noah Baumbach's The Squid and the Whale, which would win in a perfect world, but it's not nominated for Best Picture, is it?

LC: There may be some surprises on Oscar night, but hopefully most of them will come from this year's host, Jon Stewart. Or my prediction for the ultimate ratings grab: Katie Holmes' "unscripted" birth in the Kodak Theatre so Tom Cruise can share hts joy with Oscar's I billion viewers. Bet on it.

24

ultra vires

DIVERSIONS

The true north's strong T.V.

The winners of the 2006 SLS photo contest

BY DAVE SEEVARATNAM

First place, People fthat's Stephen Waddams under the tree)

Mark Tan First prize,

{

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Places.

Conventional wisdom holds that boring television is to Canada what cold weather is to ... well, Canada. Sometimes it seems like our national broadcasters aren't even trying. Take, for example, Sunday nights at Prime Time. No one's too cool to watch T.V. on a Sunday night, and the American networks know this. They pull out the big guns. Fox offers the mdomitable The Simpsons and the resurgent Family Guy; ABC (via CTV, in its usual incarnation as a faux-American network) airs the overrated-yet-compulsively-watchable Desperate Housewives and Greys Anatomy, starring our very own Sandra Oh. (By the way, does anyone else remember those CRTC spots from a few years back w1th a melodramatic woman sobbing in front of her T.V.? Swear to God, that's a pre-fame Ms. Oh .) And what did CBC give us last Sunday? Marple Mystery: The Moving Finger.

Now, I like Agatha Christie as much as the next guy, but ... what the fuck? Yes, there's something to be said for diversity in programming, but this goes to what has become a cultural phenomenon: We may separate ourselves from Americans in any way we know how, but not when it comes to television. Despite the valiant efforts of the aforementioned CRTC to up Canadian anti-American content, most of us poseurs in other situations - defer to our

25

DIVERSIONS

Law students make pretty pictures

zach Kerbel

j

14 February, 2006

ing from me Apparently the people love it, with the first season now sold on DVD. Who knew they did that with Canadian shows?

The teen drama.

She's got nothin' on DLS friends from the south when we have the remote control in hand.

But, as we well know, conventional wisdom isn ' t always right. After all, January was downright balmy! Is the Canadian television industry necessarily the crap factory we've come to ridicule?

Recently, there have been at least a few suggestions that the answer is 'no'.

The new sitcom.

Jn recent years, there's been a profusion of American sitcoms sans laugh-track, as we've all begun to realize that we actually can have a chuckle without the T.V. telling us it's okay first. Canada has joined the club with the unprecedentedly popular Corner Gas. From what I've seen (which, admittedly, is not much) it seems like a sitcorn-y Northern Exposure, set in Saskatchewan - which is high praise com-

I've been told that Tlze 0 C. 1s entertaining. witty, and more than JUSt 90210 Version 2.0. I say. keep your Californian angst and serve me up a little Toronto via Degrassi: the Next Generation. The actors arc actual teenagers and they deal with issues that Canadian youth face, including teen pregnancy and the spectrum of options that go along with it and, through its queer characters, the difficulty of coming out to families.

To the extent that T.V. is a conduit for our social values, it can only be a good thing to have teens consuming more Canadiana and less of anything the American right may have had a hand in.

For a good contrast, check out how American soap operas deal with abortion irresponsibly, to say the least.

The legal drama.

I know lots of you watch Law & Order.

I for one can't stand it. Its over-the-top storylines and formulaic approach 1rk me.

What makes matters worse is the annoying habit that some students have of referring to its plotlines or characters in law school.

Worse still, they use American process terms from the show in Crim class.

If you have an affinity for legal television. check out CBC's Tim is Wonderland instead. It's set in Toronto, and you will even recognize the court houses. And when you parrot the vernacular in class, you won't sound like such a tool.

Hip, smart news.

The Americans have the Dai(r Show, but we've got something that 1s fresher and younger in CBC Newsworld's Hour. hosted by the always-too-good-forMuchMusic George Stroumboulopoulos.

Don' t be fooled by the bells and whistles: this is a senous program w1th as much substantive content as The National which follows it, but with enough (mostly Canadian) pop-culture pieces to keep the youngins tuned in. And how cute is George? Plucky meteorologist Claire Martin can' t resist nirting with h1m m her minute-long forecast that immediately follows even though George is off the air at this point. I feel your pain, Claire.

In the last little while there have indeed been many reasons to tone down the sel ÂŁdeprecation and to take a little pride in what our country has to offer the world of television. If you think about it, we could have been doing this for years: SCTV was quirkier and better than Saturday Night Live ever has been, and Mr. Dressup could totally kick Mr. Rogers' ass. In T.V, as in life, Canada turns out to be a pretty good option.

n,e

26

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DIVERSIONS

14

Food review: The "Original" Hungary Thai noodles. It was as if the over-pricing was intended to convince us that the food really had to be better than it was.

I wish Malcolm and Alexa had not recHungary Thai Bar & Eatery, ommended this place.

196 Augusta Avenue (Kensington Market) Alexa on Atmosphere: The Kensington area is full of channing Malcolm on Meat: and quirky places to get a good deal and/or The Hungary Thai received high praise a great meal. Unfortunately, Hungary from Danny when he suggested we go.

Thai isn't one of them.

Nonnally that would set off inner alann Walking into the restaurant, you immebells, but I figured with a name like. diately feel like you have to pick a side.

Hungary That it has to be good. I had Half of the restaurant is 'Thai,' invoked by Hungarian Schnitzel ($11.95) which was a giant mural of bushes and tropical flowbreaded and served with sauteed onions, ers from which droop lantern-like ltghts. mushrooms and peppers with potato chips The other half is, presumably, on the side as my main dish. Alexa - the 'Hungarian,' with large mirrors and texother carnivore - had Chicken Paprikash in protruding gold tured walls covered ($1 0.98) which bad an unfortunate resemswirls. Rounding out the multi-cultural blance to a bowel movement. As a starter, Compared decor are a Chinese calendar and a Wild we had a small order of cabbage rolls I would like to end by saying that this to the meat, the only thing less horrifying West-style sign asking that we not shoot ($5. 75) which turned out to be one giant was all Danny's fault. It was bad enough about Hungary-Thai's vegetarian cuisine the piano player because he's doing the roll stuffed with meat. he recommended the place, but he then was that it lacked the threat of salmonella. best he can.

How was it? Horrible. The food was proceeded on the way back to school to Everything but the aforementioned mushThe emptiness of the restaurant should barely edible. With the schnitzel, I could point out all the good restaurants we could rooms was tasteless, undercooked, pep- have been a sign of what was to come in tell I was eating meat only because of the have gone to while I suffered through pered with watery tofu and indigestion- tenns of 'food.' So too should have been consistency of the food in my mouth. extreme stomach cramping. If he had an the thin layer of grease and dirt on the However, it was so dried out and smothembassy, I would have gladly burned it to table, the visible grime on the bar, and the ered in a sauce, which had no discemable If he had an embassy, I the ground and nobody could have held me owner/server smoking in the back. flavor and served no apparent purpose responsible for reacting to his grotesque said, the service was so friendly That other than to bum out my taste buds, that I would have gladly burned provocations. we felt guilty for offending the owner that have no idea what meat exactly I ate. My by having left so much of the food. During mea\, however, was outstanding when Danny on the Veggie Option: it to the ground. the frantic attempt to hide some of it in the compared to poor Alexa's. She ordered We\\, what can l say ... great Breaded denser, more opaque dishes, the painted ch\cken wh\ch i.s usua\\'i safe except ($8.95, comes with rice) ... inducing. 1 tried the Green Curry ($8.95) walls took on a nightmarish quality. If Mushrooms a\)\)atent\':{ at \\ungarian-Tha\ p\aces. \t abso\ute\y wonderfu\ Breaded and the Tofu Pad Thai ($7 .95). The two guilt over paying for terrible food is your ha~ a !iottange gta':{\sh C.M\ wh\c.h ~\~ no\ Mushrooms. inspire confidence especially after we dishes were essentially identical distin- thmg, then Hungary Thai is the restaurant Now, I would love to write that guishable only because the Curry was a for you. heard the tell-tale beeping of a microwave Hungary Thai was redeemed by its wide pale, pukey green and the Pad Thai had prior to it being served. array of delectable vegetarian dishes. I

BY DANNY KASTNER, MALCOLM KATZ & ALEXA SULZENKO

"

"

Movie review: ·The New World

BY SAYRANSULEVANI

serves to detach the characters from works, although perhaps not enough the surroundings and goings-on. to betray one's tribe over. Christian I concede that it doesn't feel like a The effect of streaming the absent Bale is hot on a stick, as usual, as whole lot happens during The New mental state of the characters really the American tobacco farmer who World, considering how much actu- worked in Red Line to demonstrate wins over Pocahontas, presumably ally does happen in the plot. lt effects of the surrounding (seeming- with his gentle goodness and puriconversion tactics. chronicles the historically con- ly endless) horrors. In contrast, due tanical tentious "Pocahontas" story of partially to the banality of the Grandmother Willow was conspicuAmerican lore. Although it's words, the whispering voiceovers ously absent. Damn you, Walt unclear what actually transpired seemed to act more like an unneces- Disney for imbumg me with such between John Smith (Colin Farell) sary plot device in The New World. hopes.

The New World is also an Although Q'Orianka Kilcher is and Pocahontas (Q'Orianka Kilcber), this story sees them fall in exceptionally beautiful, from a cer- American frontier story that tries to look unflinchingly at the initial conlove and split apart. ditions of the first permanent The New World has an oddly " dreamlike quality, which shrouds Christian Bale is hot English settlement, the interaction wtth the Aboriginals, and contrasts the tragedy of events in a light mist. the values and .traditions of both It should be noted that Terrence " s1des. Malik docs a good job of Malik is the wnter and director so if On a Stick, as USUal. deptctmg the initial interactions and you've seen The Thin Red Lme, in the subsequent breakdown in relawhich every blade of grass has meaning, every character drips with tain angle she is the uncanny dupli- tions.

So I definitely recommend it, but tragedy and haunting voiceovers are cate of a 50-something Kurdish used to communicate inner mono- migrant farm worker friend of my I qualify my recommendation with mother's. It's appropriate for her a warning about the content and logues, expect some more of that.

There is no traditional narrative role that she is a fusion of young mode of transmission of the film: what to some is abstract expressionstructure and the plot is often com- and old, mature and playful.

Colin Farrell comes across as ism is to others meaningless bullmunicated visually (and with a score that is JUSt right); this gives it commanding and mannish. The shit. a uniquely abstract nature that long hair and unkempt look really

Not the most appropriate time for seduction, Colin.

February, 2006

DIVERSIONS

27

Hadiya's Top Ten: 10 sad song, 10 love songs

BY HADIYA RODERIQUE

start. Captures the very essence of a breakup.

Brothers on a Hotel Bed, Death Cab for Cutie Surprisingly lovely song on their new album. A little more abstract Iynes wise, but the story is there.

Hide and Seek, Imogen /leap: Worth it for the choms alone: "Mmm what you say, hmm that it's all for the best, you decided this, mm what you say, mmm what did she say ... " Genius.

Last Goodbye, Jeff Buckley: Oh, Jeff Buckley, my soulmate. I never would have broken your heart.

You Were Always on my Mind, Willie Nelson: I told you, I love Wilhe S1mple and timeless.

In honour of the fact that my most loathed 'holiday' (damn you Hallmark) IS coming up, I present a top ten two-parter: Sad/break up songs for those who share my Valentine's Day angst, and love songs for the lovers amongst us. Note to lovers. I hate you. Just kidding. Underneath my hardened cynicism is a hopeless romantic who has watched every romantic comedy known to man. Yes, even "Must Love Dogs." I also offer the following challenge: Who ever can tell me the best/funniest break up story gets a CD of these songs.

Sad songs To be a good woman, Cat Power: This song is heartbreakingly lovely. When you' re still in love, but you know that you should part ... oh, the sadness!

I never loved a man (the way that I loved you), Aretha Franklin: No one does a woman scorned like Aretha.

Another Lonely Day, Ben Harper I know is song is so 90's, but it's a goddamn campfire love classtc.

On your own, The Verve: Again, from the 90s, but some boys really know how to sing about sadness.

November Rain, Guns 11 Roses: Dual purpose, really, because 1t's a great song, and you always made sure to dance to it

Be very quiet , It 's only sleeping with a boy you really liked since its so freakin' long!

Let it Die, Feist: I can't even make through the whole song before the tears

Songs for the Lovers Careful Where You Stand, Coldplay: A rare track, not on any of the EPs. If only I were Gwyneth and Chris wrote and sang lovely little ballads like .his about me.

Sigh.

Lets Stay Together: AI Green or Tina Turner, take your pick Like someone in love, BJork: She may have descended from the land of the insane, with her swan outfits and nonsense rhymes, but I still love her and her songs.

Lay Lady Lay: Bob Dylan or Magnet: Both are awesome.

Mellow Mood, Bob Marley: Sing it to me, Bob. You were one damn sexy man.

Play my favounte song ...

Lo~·e Song, The Cure: The song is called 'love song' people' _ The chorus includes such choice lyrics as "However far away, I will always love you'. How could any song be any more perfect for lovers?

Please Forgi~·e Me, Dadd Gray: Again, another song some boy needs to sit on my bed and smg to me. Sigh. Slightly cheesy, I know, but love 1s cheesy. Deal with it.

Do you Reali=e. Flaming Lips: Dc~pite association with a commercial, awesome song.

Everybody ·Here Wants You, Jefl Buckley: He can do the heartbreak and the romance. What a guy.

I Put a Spell on You, Nina Simone: Gotta have a little 'happy you're · mine/appreciation blues' on the list.

smoking ain't hot, Leslie.

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DIVERSIONS

28

Valentine's Day: Time to Face the Music·

14

February, 2006

29

GAMES

Games! Stop studying and solve these games!

BY STEPHANIE GIANNANDREA

BYANGElA CHU Over the past few days, I've really been wondering why I find myself addicted to safe music. It wasn't until I remembered that Valentine's Day was fast approaching that I realized the day of love has created in me an active fear of listening to anything overly emotional-whether love or hate filled.

For the longest time, I truly believed that as we got older our taste in music simply became more refined. We traded in In Utero for Pet Sounds because the latter is just better music and over time we realized that sloppiness, while compensated by an intensely emotional delivery, no longer satisfied our level of musical maturity. But are more carefully crafted songs better songs? Or do we make the shift because we're no longer capable of handling the raw, albeit unsophisticated? When we were teenagers, canying with us relat1vely few emotional scars, angry and pained music was exciting because what the heck did we have to complain about? Over ten years later, we have been betrayed, cheated and lied to. Many of us have suffered the loss of a loved one. We know what it means to have our hearts broken. At this stage in \ife, we don't rea\ly need to listen to music that has the potential of reviving these feelings. \ remember watching an interview with

Gillian Anderson many years back, where a MuchMusic veejay asked her what kind of music she listened to. Avid Ex-Files fans might recall that before Anderson's acting days she spent much of her youth in London as an angst-ridden punk. You can imagine my surprise when she responded by saying that since the birth of her first child, the hardest music she listened to was Foo Fighters. Poor fool, I thought to myself-poor old fool. What a sad existence it must be for one to age and stop caring about real music. Never in my wildest nightmares did I think I would become one of those people.

What I realize now is that graduating to more grown up music doesn't necessarily mean we've lost our love of music or that we've become more sophisticated listeners. Perhaps some of us have just become more guarded. Much like with relationships, we don't give away our hearts as easily as we once did. We become emotiOnally unavailable to certain kinds of music and instead we fill our mp3 players with lacklustre, though likely well-constructed, tunes So m an effort to reclaim the romantic 1deahsm of days long past, my Valentine's Day resolution is not to run. For this week 1t's goodbye Galaxy 500, hello tape:CD collection 1992 - 1996.

Now Playing

cros·s word!!!

~

So bored that you're thinking of beating the rubber band ball world record? Why not amuse yourself with some fantastic games?

Angela's Taste in Music Is Really Starting

Across: I . Harper would like us to the Senate.

2. Salon service 8. Allergen 10. Norse god 12. Not off 13. Our nation's capital was originally named for him.

14. Ratio that compares different kinds of units 15. Keaunu role 16. Party to many a case 17. Seinfeld's Elaine: "Get !"

18. Order a donkey to tum right.

20. Second part of Seven Dwarves' work song 22. Cry heard in squash court 24. Chimera of a sheep and a goat {I swear I am not making this up.)

26. Surgical theatre 27. Egyptian sun god 28. Bright-line _ _ 29. For sale at the haberdasher's 31. French cheese 32 Sophocles' marketplace

To Slip

JOIN THE FUN AT ULTRA VIRES; MASTHEAD APP-LICATIONS DUE SOON! .

,

Down: !.Lovely Ontario town z. Essay-writing verb 3. Tough woody stem 4. South-western state, home of the walking horse 5. SofTest users don't need this 6. Thursday night on NBC 7. Dean of Law School, or: tastes great on a BLT 9. Nameless victim H Macbeth saw one l 3. House of God, or red-coloured chew popular in India 15. To worlihippers of32 Across, the swirling watery chaos from which the cosmic order was produced 19. He phoned home in 1982.

21. They're building a new one at Osgoode subway 22. Thrill-killer defended by Clarence Darrow in 1924

23. Opposite of 22 Across 24. Sells icc cream in the ICC at Bloor and Spadina 25. You'll need it to buy pizza in M ilan 27. Very expensive this year, because Beluga are endangered 29. Doubling prefix 30 Musical note

It's A-Mazing!!!!

Get to the centre of this maze to find Coach Moach's summaries and guarantee yourself that A!!

---- .. ----·---·- -·-- ·----- --------- ----

"God bless Coach Moach and his beatiful fiance I "

ultra vires

ULTRA NEWS

30

Ultra News: Satire; libel, poor taste, and unicorns Benson's excuses getting less and less credible

Faculty council Mulls Fi;st Year curriculum Changes

First year students expressed scepticism this week when Professor Peter Benson First year professors were in an uproar at showed up for Contracts l 5 minutes late, the most recent Faculty Council meeting, claiming he was spirited away to a magical as they arc all woefully behind. In Torts, fairy meadow by a Unicorn-drawn chariot students were still asking about whether made of pixie dust. "Yeah, uh, well, uh, it there was a difference between "fair" and "dainty" in nuisance law. Professor was pretty wild," said Benson as he Brudner was heard complaining that his crashed through the door appearing visibly class continued to demand to deconstruct rattled. "Anyway, I, uh, convinced the the gendered language of "mens rea."

Unicorns to drop me back off at school All professors agreed that the teaching before class, but, ub, some, like, birds and delays were the result of insecure first shit escaped from my office and then my years who need constant reassurance and clocks started melting like a Salvador Dali attention. This was evident when one stupainting and I, uh, lost all track of time." dent's question was nothing more than "I dunno, I could buy the stories about the "grade me! Evaluate me! Rank me against subway being late," said Garth (I), "but my peers! I'm good good good and OH so this is getting ridiculous. First it was anismart!!!" mals escaping, and now it just sounds like Proposed solutions to the excess student he's been hitting the carbolic smoke ball, if participation were controversial, however. you know what I mean."

Professor Trebilcock ironically suggested - Geoff Moysa employing the Socratic method. Former

IHRP director tells himself off for being a "quitter" then forgives self.

Noah Novogrodsky, director of the lntemationa\ Human Rights Clinic, recent\y announced that he wou\d be visiting another Universit-y for the 2006-2007 year. "\ was so angry" he declared, "l thought l took fu\s scnous\)', \ thou!!,h\ l was \(.)(.)%

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Thrill gone but laughs continue

Tim Smith (II) is an unabashed admirer of fart jokes despite nearing completion of his second year of law school and his twenty-sixth year oflife. "Farts are funny," he said as way of explanation when asked why his sense of humour appeared to be no more subtle than that of an average 8 year old boy. "I mean, c'mon. How can you not think farts are funny? Think about sitting in Public International with Brunnee droning on all in her accent and stuff about how international law really is law despite all Dean Daniels suggested that students wear the evidence suggesting otherwise for the "muzzles of excellence" though Professor third class in a row and all you can think Lorraine Weinrib was concerned that such about is how you wish someone would devices would be demeaning and violate burst into the room with an automatic the first years' dignity, noting their inherent vulnerability. Professor Phillips had weapon and clear the fucking place out the most popular suggestion to curtail starting with you first and then someone superfluous first year questions: "Why lets one rip. I'm telling you man it'd bring not just let 'em whip it out on the first day down the roof. I'm talking people in the fucking aisles. It'd be classic. I totally to see whose is bigger?"

Meanwhite, SLS President Mike Pal shoulda done that." When pressed further, has suggested renaming every class Tim admitted that basically anything to do with bodily functions was inherently hilar"Bridge Week."

-Mike Kotrly ious before asking his interviewer to pull his finger.

- Malcolm Katz.

committed to doing Human Rights Work."

Noah expressed his disappointment with his decision, saying that be realizes that all people involved with the clinic have to make big decisions about their career Law students Thankful choices but that he really hoped in the Dean's Name Does Not future he would learn that "money isn't Start With "K" that important really" and that he was really counting on himself to continue with the Given new Dean Mayo Moran's penchant important work he did there. He com- for triple-word alliteration based around plained "we're already having institutional her own name, students are relieved that memory problems because of a lack of her name does not start with K. "Don't get commitment from those flighty students me wrong," said Bob Jones (II), "I love with their stupid OCis and summer jobs." Mayo's Muffin Madness. I mean, muffins Novogrodsky went on to explain that "this are great. Scrumptious. But, you know, latest decision of mine just really insulted with the whole diversity protest and all last me." When asked about what the conse- year, the last thing the faculty needed was quences of his decision might be, Prof to be headed by a Dean with a K-name. It Novogrodsky replied that he would not be just wouldn't have been very welcoming. I considered for some future opportunities mean, shit, alliteration can be dangerous at his clinic. but that be would try to for- man. Embassies have been burnt for less."

Jack Grant (II) concurred. "I heard Sossin give himself anyway. was in the running until he told the search - UV Staff

love/h-ate

committee his idea to improve student relations and outreach was to hold Sossin 's Sausage Soiree. He's apparently a huge sausage fan. He was going to bring in, like, specialty sausages from around the world and stuff. The poor fucker didn't stand a chance."

- Malcolm Katz.

..1

Charter challenge to "no sprinkle when tinkle" policy

shouted an outraged Megan (II), the leader of the group. "We thought a female Dean would be more sensitive to these issues, but it turned out that she is just another instrument of patriarchy." The students plan to argue that the policy clearly discriminates against women who fail to conform to gender norms by sitting while they pee. "We can pee standing up too, it's just sometimes less accurate" complained Jackie (III). "The policy clearly discriminates against women law students by applying hurtful stereotypes about our differential abilities in the toilet." Worse, the policy requires female students to "rectify" any mistakes they make.

-Laura Bowman

Faculty uses Bridge week instead of tuition hike In an effort to increase cash flow, the Faculty recently determined that there would be 8 bridge weeks for the incoming first year class next year. "We wanted to get some extra money" explained Moran, "and since I'm planning to be modest on tuition, we had to milk the suckers somehow." The new policy will improve funding to the school by forcing students to buy expensive books written by faculty staff for all eight bridge weeks. "We felt this was a more equitable way to improve funding" explained Moran. "This way, our faculty can spend the whole week talking about random topics that interest them and make a killing at the school bookstore."

When asked if this meant that the bookstore would improve security and be open for regular hours, Dean Moran suddenly had to leave to go and speak to Alumni about the new building.

- Laura Bowman

31

Briefly Noted

Mergers and acquisitions make corporate lawyer feel like a big man Random quote marks "used" Follies snubbed by Oscars Moran prefers madness to follies

By killing Daniels. you only make him stronger

Discrim class lynches student \.\ho said somethmg wasn't discrimination

Hanging out at Duke mistaken for social life

Shachar urges "mnn mhmm mmmhrmnm."

"Charm" actually smam1

Fake accent gradually phased out

Angela Chu-Chu-Ghuuses you

Benson declares first ten minutes of every class a Jewish holiday

sec overturns lawbuzz confirmation Jurisprudence? More lik.e Jurisnonsense!

Moot supervisor clearly hasn't read factum

Poli Sci student talking again

Law frat "Alpha Masta Betas" fom1ed

Pretensions cultivated

B ·s arc the new A':>

Survey: 73% of students opposed

JDIMBA student pays $25,000 to learn Powerpoint

Moran pimps her ride

Moran pretty sure Sossin up to something "No cute girls in first year," reports guy who got shot down by six of them

Dean Moran passionate about student opinion, muffins

Girl from Law Games won't stop calling Alaric to do OCis

Pizza: opiate of the law school "Dr. Broom" hazing incident irks first years

Revised Socratic method to include hemlock

Third years starting to panic Cockiness up 17%

Note: The fucking stickers on your laptop come off

Mice apply for SLS funding

Moot results moot

Apparently, December exams count for upper year students

Tent pitched

"True love" actually just fear, desperation Noah peeved Aftab increases fancy-pantcy-ness 17% UN calls for end to escalating "madness" events Wilmut wins Next Great Leader of Opposition Competition

,..

throws party

Extravaganza!

Flood annoyed with Duggan's application of cy pres doctrine to dishwashing duties

Female students at U of T law were shocked to learn this past month about the new no sprinkle when tinkle policy at the faculty in women's washrooms. "Moran never mentioned this on her listening tour," complained Sally (I). 'There was no student consultation." When Bonnie Goldberg was asked about the policy change, she indicated that there would be zero tolerance for sprinkle tinkle in the girl's bathrooms. A group of female students have threatened a Charter challenge.

"The boys can sprinkle all they want,"

Law follies?

14 February, 2006

Music students adversely possess Rowell Room Langille plots coup McGill guide revised to include lawbuzz citation method Moran to move school to double-wide trailer Law Games hangover ends

Student offended on behalf of others

Grounds of Appeal features new "tossed salad" Zarghami, Chu start "Boyz Are Gross" club Michael Code's Sexiness Alert Level raised to Orange.

What happens in the bathroom in the library, stays in the bathroom in the library

$2,000 laptop runs solitaire at blazing

Student offended you are not offended

Davies secretly just wants to be loved

sec confirms he who smelt it, dealt it·

"I don't want to ruin our friendship"

dissent finds that whomever said the ' rhyme, did the crime

leaves off "and I find you physically repulsive"

Duff pauses

Legal Process forgotten

Pilliar seizes control of Toronto Island, declares Republic of Soulpatchistan

Mooter repeats iudge's question Compulsory moot grudgingly completed

speed Marks come out, apathy sets io

"Moral highroad" actually 'judgemental ass-battery" Dry spell hits seventh month Burger King votes itself best restaurant,

Submit to Ultra Vires " -

Keisha Marie?

Dear Ghost, If you send me any

more valentines or chocolates, I'll mash your face, bitch.

Ke ish a

Keisha Marie

And Question Guy!_

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and your wildest dreams will come true

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o r· success starts \Nith our students

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FRASER MILNER CASGRAIN LLP