Ultra Vires Vol 13 Issue 2: 2011 October

New grading system explained

UV inaugural whiskey review

Aaron Rankin and Justin Nasseri explain what we do and do not know

Four law students do battle with bourbon... and lose.

ULTRA VIRES

Features, Page 13

News, Page 3

First Edition

October 19, 2011 Vol. XIII, no. II ultravires.ca

The Independent Student Newspaper Of The University Of Toronto Faculty Of Law

U of T Gold Abella Benchslaps Grand Mooters Medalist Headed to Supreme Court OCA sends two jurists to highest court. Harper has now appointed four of nine Justices

T

Liam Churchill (2L)

he federal government announced in mid-October that it would elevate two Ontario Court of Appeal justices to the Supreme Court of Canada in order to fill the seats vacated by the retirements of Justices Ian Binnie and Louise Charron.

Justices Andromache Karakatsanis, 56, and Michael Moldaver, 63, will face a House of Commons committee meeting before they assume their seats on the country’s highest court. Moldaver is a graduate of the University of Toronto Faculty of Law, graduating in 1971 as the gold medalist.

Moldaver has spent a significant portion of his legal career on the bench, having received his first judicial appointment in 1990 and having been elevated to the Court of Appeal in 1995. Prior to his first appointment, he was an accomplished criminal lawyer, and is widely viewed as an expert on criminal law.

Moldaver’s record in decisions of his that have come before the Supreme Court is mixed. The Supreme Court heard only two majority judgments written by Moldaver during his OCA tenure (both were for unanimous panels), and it allowed both appeals.

The first such case, Penetanguishene Mental Health Centre v Ontario, dealt

See Moldaver, Page 4

Aditya Badami photo

Dean Mayo Moran breaks up the touching amorous embrace between grand mooters Michael Portner Gartke amd Joe Ensom

Faculty Looks to US for New Grades

Uof T copies UC Berkeley evaluation scheme despite mixed record

By Matt Brown & Jessica Lam (2L)

At the Town Hall meeting held in early October, Associate Dean Ben Alarie urged students to take their “system one response” and think through the details of the proposed new grading policy. “It took us two years as a faculty.”

U of T’s grading reforms follows the trend of Ivy League law schools such as Stanford and Harvard, which in 2008 went from the traditional A/B/C letter grade system to the Yale-esque honours/ pass hybrid.

The new labels of High Honours, Honours, Pass, Low Pass and Fail will allow for a more flexible distribution, thus eliminating the required B curve.

Alarie coined the term “Lumpers versus Spreaders” to refer to the way that

grading style results in arbitrariness under the old system.

“The problem with grading to an average is that faculty members will tend to give everyone a B or B+ to stay with the average if they are uncomfortable with giving out high or low marks, which makes it harder to get a high mark. But some professors prefer to spread out the grades. This is arbitrary in terms of class rank,” said Alarie.

The new system will reflect more accurate grading, where professors will not feel forced to hand out a low pass for every high honours.

Alarie said that one possible consequence resulting from the old system is that “a more meritorious candidate from U of T is passed over [by employers] in favour of the grading from another school.”

The elimination of the curve is intended to ease student anxieties over grades

and to indicate to employers that attending U of T law school is “enough to take [students] seriously,” according to Alarie.

This idea seems to be the same general justification at Ivy League law schools and, perhaps more worrying, the same justification underlying Ivy Leagues’ high tuition – you’ve been admitted to our top school, so why should you have to worry about grades?

The Yale Law School website downplays the importance of grades and emphasizes that all Yale Law students are excellent: “People get into Yale because of who they are and what they have done.

The students bring such diverse backgrounds to the law school that one learns from them and benefits from their existence just as much as one does from the faculty.”

See Grading, Page 4

2

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

LETTERS

No, I Am Not “Done Yet”

I

By Matt Brown, Editor-In-Chief (2L)

’m really happy that so many of you seem to be reading this garbage. Or maybe the nervous “kinda” I get whenever I block someone from exiting a bathroom stall and scream “DID YOU READ UV” doesn’t mean what I think it means.

I thought I was pushing it with taking an entire page to myself and then spiking other, legitimate, articles because there is “no room.” Yes, I lost some friends.

Yes, I lost some advertisers. Yes, I lost the chance of being taken seriously for the rest of my adult life. But I gained a big picture of myself in a student paper.

Judge me for my priorities if you wish but… no, you’re right. It’s depressing.

As you can see from the ever-larger picture of me to the side, I cut my hair. This seems to have hit a lot of people pretty hard. I think it’s because, for many, it represents the end of an era. Cary with no beard rattled me, but he always struck me as a fair-weather beardy. The last time I had a different haircut was the 2nd trimester of my mom’s pregnancy.

Would I flatter myself by saying a lot of you thought that, if anyone were going to go to the barricades on this one, it would be me? Yes, I almost certainly flatter myself. As I do at every opportunity.

So, my dignity was clipped off by a student at Vidal Sassoon with three weeks of “on the job” training. It’s just so hard to argue with something so free (DLS clients, yes I sense the irony in this sentence). Which means the very last thing that shows I’m human and not some kind of law-robot is that fact that I sometimes make poop jokes in the very piece of paper you are holding in your hands. Yes, you may be reading the last outward evidence of my humanity.

Go ahead — leave it on the bathroom floor. By the end of OCIs I’ll be used to it.

ULTRA VIRES Editor-in-Chief News Editor Features Editor Opinion Editor Diversions Editor Production Editors

Matt Brown Jessica Lam Patrick Hartford Andrew Robertson Drew Valentine Todd Brayer Giselle Chin Business Manager Jonathan Bega Web & Photo Editor Cary Ferguson Copyeditors Annie Tayyab Andrea Wong

Ultra Vires is an editorially independent publication. We are open to contributions which reflect diverse points of view, and our contents do not necessarily reflect the views of the Faculty of Law, the Students’ Law Society, or the editorial board.

Errors If you find any errors in Ultra Vires, please email ultravires@utoronto.ca

Advertising Advertising inquiries should be sent to Business Manager Jonathan Bega at ultravires@utoronto.ca

Submissions If you have an article submission or a tip for us, please contact us at ultravires@utoronto.ca. The deadline for submissions is October 12, 2011. Ultra Vires reserves the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity.

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

3

NEWS

Federalism Case Tantalizes Nerds Supreme Court to weigh in on securities regulation

A

By Liam Churchill (2L)

s first-year students were scrambling to get their heads around all manner of subjects last April, the Supreme Court was hearing arguments in an old-school federalism case.

It has yet to render a decision on whether the federal government has the power to enact a law establishing a national securities regulator.

By the time the Supreme Court heard arguments in the reference from the federal government, two provincial Courts of Appeal, in Alberta and Quebec, had issued decisions in response to references from their provincial governments.

Both Courts of Appeal held that the federal government’s proposal was unconstitutional, though they based their

determinations on different conclusions.

The proposed federal scheme would implement a national regime of securities regulation that could displace provincial regulation.

The proposed legislation contains an opt-in clause that would ensure the federal scheme applied only in provinces that accepted the federal scheme.

In its factum to the Supreme Court, the federal government argued that the scheme, whose pith and substance it characterized as “designed to establish a comprehensive regime of securities regulation administered by a single national regulator,” was a valid exercise of the federal government’s trade and commerce power.

The federal government relied on the five “factors” that the Court set out in General Motors of Canada v City National Leasing as relevant to a consideration of a claim that federal action should be permitted under the general branch of the federal government’s trade and commerce power.

The unanimous five-justice panel of the Alberta Court of Appeal, in an opin-

ion released in early March, said that the federal government’s characterization of the pith and substance of the regime was “not a proper application of the pith and substance doctrine.”

The court concluded that securities regulation was a matter of property and civil rights and therefore was provincial jurisdiction.

The Alberta court also rejected the federal government’s submission that the proposed scheme satisfied the considerations set out in GMC, holding that it did not concern trade as a whole, that provinces were not incapable, and that the exclusion of one province would not undermine the operation of the scheme elsewhere.

The Quebec Court of Appeal, also sitting in a panel of five, similarly rejected the federal government’s submissions, but with one dissenting justice who would have upheld the proposed law as constitutional.

The majority of the Quebec court determined that the pith and substance of the proposed law was to “regulat[e] the conduct of participants and stakeholders in

order to protect investors against unfair, improper or fraudulent practices and to maintain a fair, efficient, competitive securities market in which integrity, stability and transparency are preserved.”

They also suggested that it was essentially the same as provincial securities laws.

The dissent characterized the pith and substance of the proposed act considerably more broadly as “the regulation of all participants in what is now a single, integrated Canada-wide market, characterized by essentially interprovincial and international transactions.”

At the Supreme Court, the governments of British Columbia, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and New Brunswick joined Alberta and Quebec in arguing against the constitutionality of the proposed law, while Ontario and the federal government urged the Court to uphold the proposed legislation.

This will be one of the last cases heard in front of the previous Court. It remains to be seen how the new, presumably more conservative court, will decide future federalism cases.

New Grading System: The Facts T

By Aaron Rankin & Justin Nasseri (3L)

he Administration is planning to change U of T Law’s grading system. Conditional upon Governing Council approval, the reform will take effect for next year’s first-years (the Class of 2015) and all subsequent cohorts.

In this piece, we (i) tell you in broad strokes about the changes, (ii) explain what problems the Administration believes they solve, and (iii) highlight what we don’t yet know about them.

The SLS wants to hear your opinion — you can tell us, at sls.law@utoronto.ca. In a future issue, we will produce either a summary of your anonymized opinions, or a point/counterpoint piece, depending upon which format seems to better reflect your feedback.

For anyone unsure of why are undertaking this exercise in the face of an apparent fait accompli, we have one normative and one pragmatic argument.

First, students are most affected by and therefore most invested in the school’s grading policy. However, the consultation with limited numbers of students that took place on grading reform prior to the start of this school year was, in effect if not by design, essentially unobserved by most students. Conducting this consultation is our way of restoring the voices of J.D. students to a position that is as prominent as possible under the circumstances.

Second, key details of the policy will be determined between now and implementation. Your feedback on pragmatic issues can make a valuable impact on these as-yet-undetermined details and help ensure as smooth a transition as possible.

The following summary of the reform is based on Professor Alarie’s presentation at an SLS Town Hall on October 3, 2011, but has not been approved by the Administration; we take full responsibility or any errors or omissions.

Main Features Current System: Professors assign each student a numerical grade; those numbers are part of a range and that range corresponds to a letter grade.

The average of all grades in a given class must meet a specified target.

Available grades are A, B+, B, C+, C, D and F – although conventional wisdom suggests the latter three grades are relatively rare.

New System: Grades are governed by a “defined distribution” – a defined number of grades of each type will be required based on the size of the class, subject to some amount of flexibility at the margins to avoid requiring different grades to be given to coursework of equal quality.

Available grades are High Honours, Honours, Pass, Low Pass, and Fail.

Only HH, H and P are ‘required’ grades; LP and F are discretionary and need not be assigned.

No ‘raw score’ underlies grades – the grades are discrete categories.

Honours Standing (renamed “Distinction”) will be maintained.

For transitional purposes, in upperyear classes containing students who matriculate in 2014 and 2015, professors will generate grades under both systems and grades will be determined on the rubric corresponding to matriculation year.

Proposed Benefits The Administration has suggested two main benefits of the proposed system: (1) Reflecting that names matter –

Changing the names of grades will (according to a linked series of behavioural hypotheses that involve putting various interested parties “on notice” using grade names’ signaling function): (i) encourage students to recognize that they are being graded relative to a different pool than in undergrad; (ii) lessen stress and promote learning by reducing psychological downside risk while preserving potential upside benefit; (iii) put employers (particularly those (a) without the flexibility to treat nominally identical transcripts from different schools differently, (b) those “non-repeat player” employers who do not frequently encounter our graduates) and graduate schools on notice that U of T students’ results should be considered relative to the strength of the entering class.

(2) Standardizing the meaning of grades – The mark-to-mean model results in variance between the shapes of the distributions in various classes for no principled or empirically justified reason.

The discrepancy is arbitrary statistical “noise.” The new system promotes ‘horizontal equity’ by ensuring that an equivalent relative performance in two different sections, all things being equal, will yield the same grade.

Under the current system, a professor who wants to give more top-end grades can only do so at the price of giving more low-end grades. This incentive is perverse, since students’ performances at the top and bottom of the curve are not actually linked except through the math-

ematical constraint.

HH/H/P/F is preferable to H/P/F because the ability to parse fine distinctions in relative standing at the top end is valued by recruiters for certain highly competitive positions.

Not Yet Known The distributional cut-offs have not been announced.

Although we know that professors will be able to give a non-zero integer number of students a different grade than the distributional table would otherwise require (in order to prevent giving exam papers that ‘tie’ different grades), we do not know what level of flexibility will be allowed.

Professor Alarie suggested the size of the “non-zero integer” would be constant as between small groups and large sections. The argument for this is that the performance of small groups will vary more, as compared to the performance in large sections, since the latter should be more statistically typical; therefore, professors in large groups will ‘need’ proportionally less flexibility at the margins.

This argument about the ‘Law of Large Numbers’, while internally consistent, does not on its face provide an answer to the underlying fairness concern that would abhor giving different grades to equivalent work, a situation which could theoretically occur once a professor expended his or her grading flexibility in a large section.

The Administration is planning to create an explanatory document to accompany transcripts under the new system; it is not clear whether this document will directly compare the two systems, or whether an explanatory document will be available for students with the ‘old’ transcripts.

It is not clear whether students who matriculate this year (e.g. joint degree or part-time students who begin law degrees this year) will be able to opt in to the grading system of their graduating year (e.g. next year’s 1Ls) in time for the 2L recruitment cycle.

4

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

NEWS/FEATURES

CDO Will Consult with Employers See Grading, Page 1

At Berkeley Law, the admissions office outlines suggestions to employers to understand their grading system: “A transcript with a rough mixture of Honours and Pass grades represents strong performance that would likely stand above the class median at schools of comparable quality.”

It then goes on: “keep in mind that Berkeley Law’s student body is exceptionally strong.” The message at these top schools is that simply attending the school is sufficient to secure a job and have high regard by employers.

At the same time, Berkeley’s explanation of their grading system gives the impression that employers struggle to understand the system: “A number of lawyers who regularly interview at Berkeley Law have told us that they sometimes have difficulty evaluating the academic records of our students or comparing them with those of students at other schools.”

At U of T, the Career Development Office is attempting to get the word out to employers before the change occurs.

Emily Orchard, the Director of Career services, says that they are “spending a lot of time thinking about how to best educate employers.” She also added that they have excellent relationships with the organizations that hire U of T students and that she is confident that employers will “pick up the phone” if they have concerns.

Unlike at Ivy Leagues, Alarie said that the reforms at U of T are not about grade inflation. But because the new system ad-

justs the curve and permits professors to hand out fewer low grades, it seems that grade inflation to some degree will inevitably occur. The only constraint is to not have more High Honours than Honours or more Honours grades than Pass.

A major concern is that the flattened curve will make it harder for students at the very top of their class to distinguish themselves.

Orin Kerr, a law professor at George Washington University, wrote on his blog that the vague grading system adopted by Harvard and Stanford Law Schools have had “a major impact on the clerkship hiring

process.”

Without having precise grades to refer to, Kerr says that Supreme Court judges in the States have relied increasingly on professors’ personal recommendations, which favour smallish schools like Stanford, where professors are more likely to get to know their individual students.

Calculating standing under the new system has also yet to be determined.

Honours standing will still be awarded to 10 per cent of the class, but the label will change to “distinction.”

Alarie said that for the purpose of calculating standing, there will be a grade point associated to each label, but the details haven’t been hashed out yet.

It will be interesting to see whether other Canadian law schools such as Osgoode will follow suit in grading reform.

If every law school in Canada were to adopt the pass/honours hybrid, then it brings into question whether the changes will really have an impact on job prospects for U of T students.

Moldaver: Crim Expert “They didn’t come from Mars” See SCC, Page 1

with whether the conditions imposed on a non-criminally responsible accused, including the specific hospital and the type of hospital in which the detention was to take place, had to be “least onerous and least restrictive” while also compatible with public safety and other considerations. Although Moldaver held that the issue was determined by precedents in Ontario, he indicated that he thought the choice of hospital could be considered an integral part of the decision, and this line of reasoning was noted and picked up by the Supreme Court in its decision.

The second such case, Celanese Canada Inc v Murray Demolition, concerned when a law firm should be disqualified from acting for a party. One party’s lawyers had reviewed privileged documents of the other party that came into their possession following an authorized search of the first party’s premises. Moldaver rejected the tests used by the lower courts and held that the party whose privileged documents were seen by opposing counsel had to prove a real risk that the documents would be used to that party’s prejudice.

The Supreme Court, in contrast, held that the party whose lawyers had seen the documents bore the onus of proving that the knowledge would not prejudice the other party.

In two criminal cases, Moldaver’s dissenting opinions at the Court of Appeal have not been adopted by the Supreme Court, which dismissed the appeals in both cases.

Moldaver also sat on panels that rendered decisions in three cases in which the Supreme Court has granted leave

but not yet heard the appeals, and he can thus be expected not to hear those cases at the Supreme Court. Perhaps most interesting among those is R v Khawaja, which resulted in the first conviction under Canada’s post-September 11, 2001 Anti-Terrorism Act. Justice Karakatsanis, a graduate of Osgoode Hall, spent much of her professional career in the Ontario Public Service, serving during the Mike Harris government as Deputy Attorney General and as Secretary of the Cabinet and Clerk of the Executive Council of the Government of Canada, the top post in the civil service. She was appointed to the Superior Court in 2002 and elevated to the Court of Appeal last year.

Reflecting the relative length of their judicial careers, Karakatsanis’s judicial record is somewhat lighter than Moldaver’s. Only one case on which Karakatsanis rendered judgment at the Ontario Court of Appeal has been granted leave.

The Supreme Court heard arguments in Breeden v Black this past March but has not yet issued its decision.

Karakatsanis will become the youngest member of the Supreme Court, and will be eligible to serve for nearly 20 years if she chooses to remain on the court until the mandatory retirement age of 75.

The appointments generated no immediate strong commentary, as court-watchers suggested that the appointments were within the mold of normal appointments.

There was some concern that there was no appointment straight from the bar.

Binnie was appointed to the Supreme Court directly from practice, and there was some expectation that one of the appointments would follow this pattern.

- Moldaver speaking about jurors at a murder trial, after defence counsel argued they needed better instructions

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

5

FEATURES

On the Dancing of Law School Males This week we take an objective, anthropological look at the multifaceted Law School Man

T

By Josh Stark (2L)

hese categories refer primarily to sets of behaviour rather than types of male dancer. Most male law students are, contrary to their popular image, capable of complex and nuanced social behaviour. The available male law student dance behaviours constitute a sort of language, where meaning is fluid and semiotic distinctions are negotiated anew each night.

Most specimens will engage in several, if not all, of these behaviours on any given Dance Cave expedition.

Of course, there are also those whose routines are dominated by a few, or in some rare cases only one, set of behaviours.

THE OSCILLATOR Labouring under the mistaken assumption that every sixteenth of a beat must be accompanied by a matching jerking arm or head motion, the Oscillator tends to drive people away from his presence. The Oscillator justifies this behaviour to himself by maintaining that he “understands polyrhythms,” whatever the fuck that means.

Look out for songs that have particularly descriptive lyrics (“put your hands up in the air,” “shake it like a Polaroid picture,” “face-down, ass-up”) as the Oscillator will likely enact one or more of these in your presence without concern for your safety or personal space.

THE EXHIBITIONIST For the Exhibitionist, dancing is not a continual set of motions set to music but rather an opportunity to engage in everincreasing feats of personal strength and agility. Watch out for stripper poles, bar stools, stages, and speaker stacks.

In the absence of props, the Exhibitionist may simply try to form a “dance circle” around himself, into which he drags others so that they may engage in some sort of edgy performance (faux duet, bicameral knee slapping, saxophone solo, “how-low-can-you-go” dance off, etc.). The Exhibitionist typically has a hard time getting laid, but usually has really great calves.

THE CAVE MAN The Cave Man is typically the easiest of all male law student dance behaviours to identify. He will be extremely drunk, loud and likely carrying several drinks or pitchers. Typically he follows his own trajectory around the given space, which

may or may not coincide with the actual dance floor itself or any of the “imagined geographies” defined by various friend group circles or sexual-tension-triangles.

Careening around the bar, the Cave Man will engage in many of the above described behaviours, except he will be much worse at all of them. In this sense the Cave Man is the first identified metacategory of LSMDB. Per the recent work of Donald Savard, it is speculated that, ceteris paribus, all law school male dancers tend towards Cave Man behaviour as an evening wears on (See: Savard et al, “‘Tarps Off’ - New Data Sheds Light, Hair on Chronological LSMDB Trends” in the February 2010 online edition of the NYTimes).

THE GRINDER The Grinder never learned to dance. But damn can he rotate his pelvis at an appropriate yet sensual distance from your ass.

Grinding comes in many varieties. The

most obvious is the female-friend grind - the Grinder identifies female friends with whom a casual grind would not be misinterpreted as a suggestion of serious sexual interest. This has the effect of strengthening bonds of friendship, and signifying to nearby potential mates that the dancer is a fun, carefree person, trusted by his female friends, with precise control over his pelvic motions.

Of course, sometimes the male is actually totally into his friend, but doesn’t know how to say it, and these familiar grinds become his only way of reaching out, tentatively, into the emotional darkness of the dance floor.

CONCLUSION This is but a brief note on what is sure to be a rewarding area of study. Much research is yet to be done. In the future I hope to be able to describe even more sets of behaviour that, while clearly based entirely on someone we all know, are vague enough to be considered largely clever.

Ten Ways to Make Bora Better

MPG assures the editors that, like all his of his articles, this one is completely serious

By Michael Portner Gartke (2L)

A

manifesto for all law students who spend more than 37.5 hours of their week there.

10. Make the elevator go faster.

I assume that our ’91 Turnbull is there only for moving heavy books and wheelchairs. Many lazy law students would also like to take advantage of this effortless means of vertical transportation; however, it’s just too damn slow.

9. Soundproof the moot court complex.

Sometimes people actually like to do work in those rooms. That is difficult when one of them is taken up by students who just want a fun place to hang out. I have never personally done this.

8. Respect the environment/law students’ wallets just a little bit more.

Many of us have enjoyed the experience of stumbling past Bora on the way home from the bar to see the lights still on! No cleaning staff, no fob users, just needless waste. This might be the Way to enable Way # 1.

7. Balcony access for the smokers.

I would personally love balcony access.

But if smokers could confine their cancer sticks to that particular spot and leave the front and side entrances to Flavelle clear, I would be happy to give it to them.

6. Go back to segregated washrooms.

You can spot a 1L girl a mile away by the fact that she walks straight from the back carrels to the (formerly) men’s washroom on the main floor.

Upper years cling to our former gendered spaces – men because the women’s washroom is inexplicably beat down, women because the men’s washroom is apparently “dirty.”

5. Take down the bogus “no food or drink” signs.

It’s really annoying to have to walk out to Bora’s Head to drink your coffee and water and to eat your sandwich.

So annoying, in fact, that nobody actually does that. It’s about time that those signs reflect reality.

4. Put up more signs denying entry to SNAILS (students not actually in law school) and SNAIUofTLS (Osgoode students).

This one is self-explanatory. In the alternative, establish a ghetto for Osgoode students to which all of those awful canvas chairs (currently located upstairs) could be confined.

3. Fix the turnstile that doesn’t work and always hits you in the junk.

Men of a certain height are constantly victimized by Bora’s exit turnstile, which never opens quite as far as you’d expect when you aggressively walk into it. Our future ability to have children with our doctor spouses is hanging in the balance.

2. Fix the damn front door.

This fix, which happened in mid-September, was undoubtedly the best thing to happen to Bora since Facebook.

Many guys would be embarrassed by having to use both hands to open it – or would wind up looking around sheepishly after a vain one-handed attempt.

Most people just shamelessly pressed the handicapped entry button.

1. Extend library hours.

This started off as a “Top 10 Reasons to Extend Library Hours” article. Bora is open from 8:45 am to 11 pm on weekdays (8 pm on Fridays) and 10 am to 8 pm on the weekend.

That is only 88.25 hours. That is not enough. While that is 7.25 hours more than Osgoode, their needs are lessened by the fact that they all come here (see #4, above).

Ottawa’s library is open 95 hours per week.

Harvard Law School, which is about as direct and fair a comparison as can be made, has 24-hour library access.

How can a school that calls itself the “U of T of the South” have almost double our library hours (based on a 168-hour week)?

How many more hours do we need?, one might ask.

Easy: 6.75.

Open at 8 am during the week and close at 11 pm on Sundays.

Most law school libraries are actually

open latest on Sundays, in recognition of the fact that 95% of all work is done at that time.

Why 8 am during the week?

Opening at 8 am allows students with class at 8:30 am to print off their assignments or slides beforehand – and to make any quick edits that were not caught at 3 am the previous night.

Of course, every great idea costs money (with the exception of turning off fluorescent lights, which, according to the US Department of Energy, saves money).

According to John Papadopoulos, Bora’s Chief Law Librarian, the only incremental cost associated with longer hours is staffing 1 extra person for each extra hour.

The full-time librarians work set hours either way, and students staff any additional hours.

My contact within the student-librarian population confirms that they are paid $12.50/hour, which means that 6.75 extra hours costs 84.375 extra dollars.

Allowing for 12 weeks of regular hours per semester, this works out to $2025 of extra expense per year.

Or between $3 and $4 per law student.

Either that, or 2-3 fewer pizza lunches.

Mmm.... pizza.

What’s broken in the Faculty of Law? Wherever your issue may be, we want to know. Email us at ultravires@utoronto.ca at your earliest convenience!

6

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

FEATURES

Pub Night Dos & Don’ts

Two 1Ls think they can get down

By Emilie Lahaie & Jacquie Richards (1L)

A

s 1Ls, even having fun is hard work. In fact, we’re often told that social events, or “networking” events, are nearly as important to one day getting that corner office at Bay and Wellington as a good grade in Contracts.

As Justice Brownstone said, from the moment we enter law school, we are each crafting our legal reputation – one that will follow us for the rest of our careers.

- Dos Gentlemen: Wear a V, the deepest V. After a heavily collared week, your chest hair / inner hipster just needs to breathe.

Ladies: wear YOUR deepest V, too, or your smallest skirt and lowest tank. Few of us want every pub night to turn into a “bawdy house” situation, but getting your M.R.S (or M.R) takes a lot of work – why pay three full years of tuition when you can get the job done in one glorious, Vclad pub night?

Pre-drink the pre-drink. A good lawyer is always prepared for the bar.

Talk about law the whole time. The only thing more likely to be to “the delight of everyone” than talking about Lord Denning is referencing Lord Denning’s cases, verbatim, for 3 hours straight.

Bring your non-law friends so you “stay grounded” and “involved in the community” and then alienate them immediately.

Cry. Publicly. People think that law-

yers have hearts of stone, but this is in fact not the case. Show everyone just what a sensitive person you really are by doing so many shots of tequila that you wind up bawling about something other than your failure to get a DLS spot or summer job on Bay Street.

Take up the offer from the nice 1L in Grad House to stay the night on his “couch”.

Going uptown at 3 am is far too much effort and making new friends is always a good, safe idea.

Insist on latenight burritos. Or McDonald’s – October is Monopoly month!! It’s never too early to start acquiring real estate. It should also be pointed out that the burrito is the perfect food. Superior even to its European cousin, the pizza, the burrito rolls every food group into a delicious, spicy, ten-dollar package, and nutrition is hard to keep up with when you’re stuck in Bora 20 hours a day.

A legal education isn’t complete without a firsthand experience of the law. Use pub night to explore exciting legal concepts such as: police powers of arrest, disturbing the peace, indecent exposure, and informed consent. No one will ever say you didn’t get life experience at law school.

Chain smoke outside the whole time.

How else are you going to “network” at Dance Cave?

Bring business cards. They will make

Lessons Learned at Nuit Blanche

Aimless wandering leads to heartbreak

T

By Selma Jaber (2L)

his year’s sixth annual Scotiabank Nuit Blanche was a great opportunity to fully explore downtown Toronto and to discover Toronto’s art community through an art scavenger hunt. It started 6:59 PM on October 1, and continued until dawn the next day with over 500 artists exhibiting their work across the city in its various neighbourhoods.

As a Nuit Blanche virgin, I decided to allow spontaneity to guide me this night.

I met up with some friends — alleged Nuit Blanche veterans — at the Distillery district, where the exhibits centred on the idea of Futurism. There were a number of performances in the area ranging from dance with Larchaud Dance Project and Rebecca Leonard, to video installations with Bella Luna, to live art installations with human robots with Typecast Dance.

These were unexpected and interesting to watch, especially the unique Typecast dance installation, which I have to admit, puzzled as much as it fascinated.

Some particularly outstanding works

could be found at the Cube Works Studio, where the majority of the works on display were made out of Rubik’s Cubes.

We later moved on to the Financial District, which, given the crowds, must have been where most people chose to spend the night. The centrepiece of Nuit Blanche, the Flightpath, by Usman Haque and Natalie Jeremijenko, could be found at City Hall. It was a so-called participatory installation exploring the ideas of urban airspace and flight.

Sadly, it was underwhelming.

When it finally actually started moving, people could be seen leaving the long lines and walking away from viewing spots under the exhibit.

Overall, I think I’ll lower my expectations for next year, and invest some time in looking at guides and researching the various exhibits.

Nuit Blanche is not an event that encourages spontaneity, unless you happen to stumble upon an underground art movement, especially since you have to really venture throughout downtown in order to really absorb it.

Lesson well learned for next year.

you seem more professional, even if nothing else does. Also, if you get to the point when you’re too sloppy to type in your Blackberry passcode, you can still give that cute 1L your number for “study tips”. Right.

- Don’ts Offer to let your cab driver crash at your place, no matter how nice or helpful he may in fact be. He is not drunk, and it is okay for him to drive.

End your night in Etobicoke. This is a good general rule, really, and it’s easy to abide by if you remember that Rob Ford lives there. Same idea holds for Mississauga, Pickering and the like. Obviously.

Purchase a 2L bottle of wine, drink from the bottle or buy boxed wine because you “heard it was actually pretty good”. Nothing says “poorly reasoned” better than willingly mixing pinot grigio (or anything edible other than Taco Bell, really) with cardboard. The result will be “gasoline” 100% of the time.

Spend the entire night aggressively hitting on someone in your section. You’re not as subtle as you think, and you’ll have all year to seal the deal / awkwardly avoid eye contact when they sit next to you in class every. single. morning for the rest of the year.

Dance with a non-law student at the Dance Cave. They are probably (definite-

ly) sixteen, and they will probably (definitely) be difficult to explain away when you’re called to the real bar.

Brag about your LSAT score. No one cares, and no one but your parents (and maybe a few avid, competitive fans of Sudoku) will ever really care about your logic games prowess again. If (when) you must brag, keep it to relevant topics like how much of your soul Scotiabank owns (all of ours, if you’re curious, and all of yours soon too), how many highlighters you use in day-to-day life (at least twelve!) or how many of your dad’s friends are partners at firms, are judges, etc. That’s the kind of golden information that will really intimidate.

Assume everyone you don’t know is an upper- or lower-year, or a sixteen-yearold stowaway from Dance Cave. They may actually be in your section, and that could get awkward real fast. Especially when you find out they’ve been sitting two seats away from you (perfect distance for daily high-fives in your soon-to-be beautiful friendship!) since September.

Gentlemen: Don’t wear a full suit if it’s a pub. Similarly, ladies: Don’t wear 4-inch stilettos and a tailored outfit to a casual venue. While we’re well aware of the old adage “dress for the job you want,” sometimes even people with those jobs wear sweats (see Rob Ford, above).

And they probably wear the deepest Vs, too. Plus, dressing like you want to be a retiree is entirely underrated.

Make fun of investment bankers. I know it’s easy, but Toronto’s a small place, and like it or not they are our future partners in (white collar) crime.

UV Presents:

WASP SEARCH It’s totally a real contest

Ultra Vires is searching for U of T law’s WASP of the Year. Did you enjoy private horseback riding lessons as a child while your parents sipped chardonnay and waved at you from their yacht? Do you fantasize about any or all members of the British royal family? Can you name most of Toronto’s private high schools and do you have well-defined opinions about the students of each? If you answered yes to any of those questions or if you’re just clinically incapable of getting a suntan, then you should apply.

So if you think that you are the Whitest Anglo-Saxon Protestant at this school, please send UV a short paragraph explaining why you have what it takes. Be sure to include the following information: Your handicap How much time you spend debating your share of the inheritance with your siblings Which brand names your parents dressed you in as a baby How long you’ve been a member of the Conservative Party Your favourite Brontë sister novel Which type of wine is best after a long day of sailing Evidence that you are not a lot of fun at parties Yes, this is real. You finally get your moment in the sun! A metaphorical sun, of course, since real sunlight would undoubtedly burn you.

Send all submissions to ultra.vires@utoronto.ca and feel free to nominate your friends!

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

7

FEATURES

Napping on Campus

The best places to sleep at school

By Katherine Georgious (1L)

Y

ou wake up shocked and confused.

A stream of questions fills your mind. Why is my back in so much pain? Where am I? Why is everything such a gross shade of green? As you realize the warm stuff on your chin is drool, understanding sets in: you’ve fallen asleep in a study carrel in Bora Laskin Library. This cannot do! You’re a law student, dammit. You’ve worked hard to get here! You deserve to sleep in a place of luxury, or at least in a place that won’t accelerate your inevitable addiction to alcohol and painkillers.

To save myself and my fellow law students from the horror described above, I decided to embark on a journalistic quest of epic proportions: to find myself a good place on campus to nap. Before beginning my hunt, I decided to set some criteria for any potential napping locales, because like most students in debt, I obviously have really high standards for where I sleep. Firstly, each location had to be within a 5-minute walk of Flavelle House, because optimum napping time is in between classes, and any place further than that is not worth the trip. Secondly, I didn’t want to sleep on a floor. With these rigorous standards in mind, I explored our fair campus and now give my discoveries to you.

Top Floor, Emmanuel College Directly across the street from Flavelle House is a Hogwarts-like building called Emmanuel College. According to extensive research (i.e., Wikipedia), Emmanuel College is U of T’s theological school, which is fitting because my nap in there

was heavenly. On the top floor of the college, directly beside the library, there is a study room with a three-seater couch and two big sofa chairs. These couches are any tired student’s siren call. They’re huge, clean, and you sink into them the moment you sit down. Further adding to your comfort is the fact that the room is very old, and as such its light fixtures are an assortment of lamps that you can turn on and off as you please. I fell asleep within minutes and woke up feeling very refreshed.

Concerns: Both times I visited this lounge, the room was empty save for one student quietly studying. But I am still not entirely sure if the room is strictly a study space, or if it is also a place where students socialize. Either way, these chairs are so comfortable that you will fall asleep regardless of what happens around you.

Overall rating: 6 fluffy dream clouds out of 6.

The leather chairs on the second floor of Bora Laskin Library A quick flight up the stairwell to the right of the Bora Laskin entrance leads you to a secluded corner near the SJD students’ offices with 3 leather chairs.

Because SJD students are a rare and almost mythical breed, this area of the library is usually devoid of people and the pot lights above the chairs are almost always turned off. As such, this corner is quiet, secluded, and dimly lit: the ideal atmosphere for sleeping. A nearby drawing of Justice Sopinka telling me to ‘use the library well’ further motivates me to nap and make the good judge proud.

Pros: The chairs are not nearly as comfortable as the one’s in the Rowell Room, but they are a lot cleaner looking, and in a much more nap-conducive environment. For the more vertically challenged students, one chair is perfectly big enough to curl up in comfortably. But for people who may be over 5’2” (and if you

are, really...stop bragging) there’s a table on which you can stretch your legs, or you can put two of the chairs together to create a makeshift bed, as I saw one of my fellow nappers do.

Cons: A major problem is the fact that there are only three chairs, and if a student needs two for napping, you might not be able to get one for yourself. The chairs also smell pretty bad, especially when you first sit down in them. But hey, you’re a law student now. You’re going to be dealing with other people’s crap for the rest of your life, so you might as well get used to the smell.

Will Someone Rob You Blind As You Nap?: Unlikely. Although the chairs are right beside the offices of doctoral candidates, the one group of people who may actually be poorer than JD students, I was never worried about someone taking my stuff.

Overall rating: 3 Zzzzs out of 5. If you want to take a nap in Bora Laskin, this is the place to do it.

Third Floor Balcony of Convocation Hall Considering that the only memorable thing that happened at my convocation was the fact that Ryan Gosling happened to be there (true story people), I opted to go to Convocation Hall to try and recreate a boring atmosphere that would induce sleeping. When I entered the building, I found myself in the biggest lecture hall in the University of Toronto. With 1731 seats on 3 floors, if you want to sleep in public without attracting attention to yourself, then Convocation Hall is perfect for you.

Pros: I had the good fortune of walking in halfway through an astronomy lecture that was using an LCD projector. As such, the room was very dark, and the only noise was the professor’s monotone opinions on gas. The chairs are not the nicest, but unlike most lecture halls, there is ac-

tually plenty of leg room, or at least there is in the third floor balcony seats. There is also an assortment of benches outside the lecture hall if you want to lie down.

Cons: The chairs’ cushioning is very thin, so they are not very comfortable.

You also have to make sure you go at the beginning of a lecture so you can maximize your nap’s length, because at the end of class they turn all the lights on and the students get very loud, which will wake you up.

Overall Thoughts: 2 monotonous lectures out of 4. If all other napping locales fail, or you just really need to be in a boring class to motivate you to sleep, Convocation Hall gets the job done.

Failed Attempts at Napping If you need the overwhelming smell of Cinnabon and the sound of hundreds of panicky people trying to catch a train to lull you to sleep, then Union Station is a dream come true. For everyone else, it is just a disaster zone. I wanted to fall asleep at Union to pass the time as I waited for a train, and in the hopes that people would mistake me for a poor transient and I’d wake up with a pile of loose change beside me. Sadly, neither of those things happened.

Another place to nap that was a lot better in theory than in practice was the abandoned pool table in the Flavelle locker room. As much as I’d love to be that serious journalist who ‘goes there’ to get her story, I really didn’t want to lie down on that table. There are a lot of stains on the felt, and in the best-case scenario, those stains are only years of dirt and spilled drinks, and not bodily fluids. Add in the fact that the eerie white walls make you feel like you’re in an interrogation room, and you have a very sleepless atmosphere.

Overall rating: 2 nightmare-inducing clowns out of 3. Don’t sleep here, people; there are simply better options out there.

8

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

FEATURES

How to Dress in this Economy

Sucess starts with a well fitting suit. These days that suit is bought at Winners.

I

By Justin Nasseri (3L)

nterview season is approaching.

Have you thought about what you’re going to wear? Uh oh. You better. It’s the most important part of the interviews – even Shakespeare said three-piece suits and paisley ties make the man. I may be exaggerating here somewhat, but looking sharp before an interview can certainly improve your confidence and make you feel professional. I hope all you gentlemen find this guide useful when dressing up for interviews!

What kind of suit do I choose?

Having worked in sales, I know that clothing salesmen are hit or miss. There are some terrific salesmen who practice their craft with integrity and pride.

There are others who just want the commission and may end up selling you a suit two sizes too big.

Being an educated shopper helps with the process.

Fit: Fit is the most important part about a suit.

Starting with the jacket: You can determine your suit size by your chest measurement.

When you see numbers like ‘36’, ‘42’ etc. these refer to the circumference of the chest. You can have a friend or salesman measure you by wrapping measuring tape around you, just underneath your armpits.

Alternatively, you can just try on a couple of jackets until you find the right fit.

The jacket should hug your frame, and its shoulders should sit right on top of yours.

If the shoulders are hanging off like armor blades, you’ve got the wrong size or cut.

When I say cut I’m referring to how the suit is constructed.

Some suit designs are very slim and may not fit somebody more athletically built or big-boned.

Other suit cuts are designed specifically to fit broader shoulders and larger frames.

The general rule with cut is that if it looks good, you’ve got the right cut. There shouldn’t be excessive pulling of fabric anywhere, and when you button the jacket up, it should appear form-fitting.

The lapels (the “collar” of the jacket) should sit flat on your chest as opposed to bulging out.

You might be wondering about the length of a jacket, and whether you should buy a ‘short’, ‘regular’, or ‘tall.’

Generally, when you stand straight, arms to the side, you should just be able to cup the bottom of the jacket with your fingers. If it’s too short for you to do that, you may need a longer jacket.

Alternatively, if the jacket falls so low that you can’t cup the bottom, you need to opt for a shorter option.

Moving on to pants: If your pants are too long, they can always be hemmed.

The important thing is that the waist and seat fit you.

When you put the pants on, they should sit comfortably without a belt. Generally, belts should be a fashion accessory, not a functional item. If the pants are 1 or 2

inches too tight or too lose, this can usually be remedied by a tailor.

Anything beyond that and you’re asking for trouble: Move on to a different cut.

Some companies like Banana Republic let you choose the pant size that is perfect for you.

Others like Hugo Boss sell jackets/ pants as one item, so if the pant size/cut that comes with the jacket does not fit you properly, you need to switch cuts or buy a different brand.

Characteristics of a suit: Type: This article comes at an odd time, where three-piece and double-breasted suits are all the rage in fashion magazines.

Three-pieces are suits with vests; double-breasted suits are the ones with overlap of material at the front and showing two columns of buttons when fastened.

While I think you can pull just about anything off if you’re confident enough, these are not safe or traditional options for an interview.

I strongly recommend going for a two-button suit.

They often expose more of the tie, elongating your experience and making you look taller.

Furthermore, twobutton suits have consistently remained in style since the 50’s.

They are classic, timeless and appropriate for all shapes and sizes.

Also, opt for a predominantly wool suit if budget allows for it.

Polyester, rayon, etc. don’t hold up to wear and tear as well, and can look awful after dry-cleaning.

Color: The optimal colors for business are navy or deeper shades of gray.

Avoid seasonal fabrics like cotton/linen, and avoid seasonal colors like beige or taupe.

Earth tones like brown are a bit too unconventional.

Black suits have traditionally been for funerals or special occasions, but they’re increasingly acceptable for business in North America.

If you have to wear a black suit, I’d opt for one with some pattern to it, and pair it with a shirt/tie combo that makes it clear you’re not attending a funeral or black-tie ceremony.

Generally, navy and deeper gray suits are safe, they go with almost any shirt/tie combination, and can be worn with black or brown shoes.

You can purchase gray or navy suits that are either solid or discreetly patterned (leave the thick chalk stripe to CEOs and mafia bosses).

Vent: You’ll notice that suit jackets

usually have slits in the back: Some have a single slit in the middle (single-vent), and some have a slit on each side of the jacket (double-vent).

This is a matter of personal preference (I personally don’t care), and both types of vent are equally professional and appropriate.

Tailoring is KEY… Regardless of where you buy your suit, tailoring can be an essential compontent to making a suit look perfect.

The suits that you see in magazine spreads like Esquire or GQ have been customized to the model’s figure.

Some amount of tailoring is usually essential to make an off-the-rack suit look good, unless your build fills the suit out. Let’s start with the basics: Pant length: You should ask the tailor to hem your pants so that there is minimal break.

This means there is a minimal amount of extra length for your pants to bunch up at the bottom.

Furthermore, instruct your tailor to hem your pants at a slant, meaning that the pant is hemmed at an angle, such that the front is shorter than the back. This makes the pant sit much smoother on your shoe.

Pant waist/seat: Your pant should sit comfortably on your waist without a belt.

The belt is not really to hold your pant up, it should serve purely as a fashion accessory.

If your pants are pulling awkwardly, they are too tight; if they are falling down your waist, they are too large.

You can usually have the waist and seat taken in or let out by up to an inch and three quarters.

Anything more is asking for trouble and can compromise the construction of the pant.

Jacket sleeves: Again, jacket sleeves are often worn too long.

You have some discretion here, but when your arm is relaxed to your side, you should at least be able to see the end (~ ¼ inch) of your dress shirt’s cuff.

Sides: Often, jackets off the rack will allow some room in the sides. To achieve a cleaner, slimmer silhouette, get the side seams of your jacket taken in.

For those of you looking for a reliable tailor, I go to a delightfully friendly lady named Nasrin, who manages the ‘StitchIt’ at the Manulife Centre (Bay and Charles), near the law school. I’ve recommended 12 law students to her already, with positive results.

Shoes, shirts, and ties:

A quick note on shoes, shirts, and ties: For shoes, you can wear brown or black with navy suits, and most gray suits.

With black suits, ONLY wear black shoes.

As for shirts and ties, keep it simple, but don’t let the urge to be conservative start messing with your mind.

This is an opportunity for you to be yourself, and the interviewers don’t expect everybody to look like clones, with solid-colored navy ties on white shirts.

Use some judgment but do not be scared to pick out a combination you enjoy.

In general, stick to gray, white, and baby blue dress shirts. Feel free to pick out a tie you enjoy as long as it’s not too over-the-top.

Where to shop: It’s important to remember that employers know we are law students, and that the majority of us face debt and tight budgets. You’re not expected to splurge your life savings on clothes.

There are certainly benefits to investing in high quality garments: For instance, high quality suits may fit better, last longer, survive dry-cleaning more effectively, and even feel more comfortable.

A high quality shirt may withstand the washing machine longer, and the collar will look crisp after numerous wears and washing cycles.

If you do have the funds available to invest in your wardrobe, Harry Rosen, Holt Renfrew, and Hugo Boss are all excellent locations near the law school to shop.

Boss in particular designs a suit that is high popular amongst slimmer young professionals: The ‘Jam Sharp.’

This suit is a $1000 investment that will last for years if looked after properly.

Tips For everyone looking to save some money, I’ve got some tips on economical businesswear shopping: Banana Republic: Great designs and fits, decent quality, pretty helpful staff. There’s a location in Eaton’s Center and one near Bay and Bloor. Their suits are usually wool, and their dress shirts are cotton. The trick with Banana Republic is to call them and get on their e-mail list. Then you’ll receive notifications about sales. They have a 40 % off sale on something almost every week, so there’s no need to buy anything fullprice there.

Winners: There’s one near College and Bay and another one on Bloor near the law school. They carry suits from brands like Ralph Lauren, Michael Kors, and Perry Ellis, all marked down around 4050%. It’s also a solid place to find good dress shirts (sometimes as cheap as $20), and a great collection of silk ties. I outfitted a fellow law student in a Ralph Lauren charcoal suit, a Tommy Hilfiger white dress shirt, and a stylish tie all for ~ $300.00.

Tom’s Place: 190 Baldwin Street. This can be a solid place to get a great quality wool suit at a major discount. Make sure you ask for a deal (seriously, the owner of the place even tells you to do this on his website).

The Tie Bar: www.thetiebar.com.

Silk ties, hand-made, $15 a piece. Every color and style, skinny and regular. Shipping to Canada in 2 business days. Also a huge collection of cuff-links and pocket squares. Enough said.

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

9

ULTRA VIRES

FEATURES

...Even if it Means Dollarama How women can pull off a classic, OCI appropriate, look on a budget tones that match your skin colour and there is nothing wrong with black. I also recommend putting an extra pair in your handbag in case your pantyhose starts to get runs. I personally buy my pantyhose at the dollar store. For a dollar a pop, I

Ladies: To snag a man like JNasty, get a conservative suit from Banana Republic constant adjustment. If you are running around between OCIs and in-firms, it may be difficult to keep your collars perfectly adjusted. I prefer to wear a highnecked silk blouse underneath the suit – a very classic, elegant look without the worry. You can buy silk blouses pretty much anywhere and I usually buy mine at Banana Republic. I would also opt for capped sleeved or long-sleeved blouses.

Many work environments have a rule against showing your shoulder and you want to be able to take off your blazer if you get hot.

If you insist on wearing a collared shirt, my go-to shirt is the Bay’s house brand, Hudson Room. If you are willing to spend a little bit more money, or if you have the gaping chest problem, I recommend going to Brooks Brothers. The shirts there are pricey but they include free tailoring which means you can find the right sized shirt for your chest and have the rest tailored to fit you. Brooks Brothers is located at the intersection of Bay St. and Wellington St. and is unfortunately often overlooked by many professional females.

Footwear is also an important practical consideration since you may not be used to running around in heels. The height of your heel doesn’t matter as long as you are comfortable. While I normally believe that the higher the heel, the better you feel, your interview is no time to experiment with new heights. When in doubt, the standard business heel is a 2 inch classic pump. Please don’t wear sandal heels or a peep toe shoe since there is generally a rule against showing toes in an interview. It is acceptable to wear flats to your interview, but the flats must be structured (no ballet slippers). Keep a few blister band-aids in your bag because event the most worn in shoe can give you a blister at the most impromptu time and you don’t want to be limping in pain to your interview.

I often get asked whether it is appropriate to forgo pantyhose. Unfortunately, it is never appropriate to wear a skirt without hose in an interview. Opt for neutral

never feel guilty about throwing them out. I also find that the dollar store hose is more resilient than fancier hosiery.

Everybody has a different hair / makeup regime and you should tailor your interview look to suit your personality. I do recommend that you keep your hair off your face so as to make solid eye con-

tact with interviewers. Please keep the hair style classic (down, ponytail or bun) and don’t experiment with crazy up-dos or French braids. I would also keep the make-up minimal and I would hesitate to veer beyond mascara, concealer and lipgloss.

A cautionary note when applying make-up: keep in mind your lighting, especially if you are planning on getting a hotel or staying at a friend’s place. I had a horrible interview experience where I applied make-up from the hotel vanity with weird lighting only to realize after my interview that I had accidentally overdone it and looked like a very expressive clown throughout my interview.

Finally, accessories should be simple.

Small pearls are always in style and simple necklaces are also a great idea. Handbags can be your “personality” statement piece so feel free to experiment with colour as long as the bag is clean and structured. Just don’t carry a bag that clearly implies your daddy or your sugar daddy bought it.

If all of this sounds quite formal and rigid – it is supposed to be. I didn’t make up the rules of the business interview game; I’m just sharing them with you.

Once you’ve got the job you can lighten up on some of these rules, but until then, it’s better to play it safe. Finally, if you need some more insight, or if you are truly fascinated by the world of business fashion, check out www.corporette.com, I’ve been following this blog for over a year and I love it!

I’M A SHEPHERD, NOT A SHEEP

YOUR PHONE, OR GO TO OUR

STUDENT WEBSITE.

hen it comes to dressing for success at OCIs, you shouldn’t worry about anything other than your OCI. This means wearing something that doesn’t need constant adjusting. It also means wearing something that won’t provoke a bathroom “Oh, that’s an interesting…” comment that will shake you off your game. The key is not necessarily to stand out, but to look clean, put together, and professional.

Suiting Basics The basics ingredients for good female suits are fabric, colour, and fit. The fabric of your suit is the most important part of your suit. Make sure to check the label to ensure the suit is made out of wool. Most people mistakenly believe that wool suits are heavy and thick like tweed or flannel, but a good wool suit is lightweight and classic. Please, avoid polyester. A wool suit is the business standard and usually does not cost too much more than a polyester suit.

The colour of your suit is also important. Opt for more conservative colours such as black, navy, or dark grey. I prefer a solid colour, but pins-stripes are interview appropriate as long as they aren’t flashy. When buying your first suit, I recommend choosing a black suit because of its versatility. The rule against black suits in a business environment doesn’t apply to women, so don’t be afraid to wear one!

The fit of your suit is crucial to projecting professionalism. A suit should absolutely be fitted, but while Peter Smiley will looks like a hipster in a suit that is too tight, most women will just look unprofessional. I recommend a skirt suit for two reasons. First, it is much easier to find a skirt that fits, especially if you have thicker legs like me. Second, pants are usually hemmed to the height of your heel and if you are running around between interviews in flats, you don’t want your pants dragging on the ground. A skirt should hit no higher than 2 inches above your knee and the shape of your derriere shouldn’t be completely obvious.

My go-to suiting brand is Theory and Pink Tartan. They are both premium brand suits that can cost some serious dough if you aren’t crafty (~$700). You can find these suits at Holt Renfrew or the Bay. The Bay often has amazing sales (way better than the Men’s deals) and if I wait for a sale, I can get my Pink Tartan suit at 50% off. I recommend going to the Bay in the Eaton Centre, at the intersection of Bay St. and Queen St. Theory suits never go on sale, so if you want a deal on Theory, you should try Winners or making a trip down to the States for some outlet shopping!

If the clock is running, and the sale signs refuse to go up, I suggest going to Banana Republic. You can get some great wool suits for about $300. Also consider Club Monaco and Aritzia for reasonably priced wool suits, though the selection is sparse. I recommend avoiding Femme Carriere since most of their suits are made of polyester and are a little too flashy for an interview setting.

Hair, make-up, and accessories

Interview ready is more than just the suit. What you wear underneath the suit also matters. Many females opt for a collared shirt underneath their suit. While I admit that is a very classic, clean look, I avoid collared shirts because they require

SCAN TO SEE MORE ON

W

By Atrisha Lewis (3L)

SAME LAW, DIFFERENT FIRM. Love your job at one of the most dynamic legal practices in Canada. Contact our Assistant Director of Student Programs, Leigh-Ann McGowan, at lamcgowan@casselsbrock.com or visit us at students.casselsbrock.com

© 2011 Cassels Brock & Blackwell LLP. All rights reserved. | casselsbrock.com | 416 869 5300

Cassels Brock - 2011/2012 season

Ultra Vires student ad Shepherd Not Sheep (“sheep lady”) Quarter Page, b&w

Designer: Heather Murray hmurray@casselsbrock.com 416 869 5782 fax 416 642 7137

Please PRINT a hard copy of the file and either FAX it or SCAN and EMAIL it back to me, thanks!

10

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

FEATURES

An Introduction to U of T’s Libraries Rather than watch your youth slip away in Bora, why not try what the (slightly) wide(r) U of T world has to offer? (Yes we understand this is highly unrealistic. Bear with us.)

T

By Ryan MacIsaac (3L)

here’s more to life than Bora! I’ve been at UofT on-and-off since 2003 and during that time I’ve gotten to know the campus well, especially the UofT Library system which consists of over 30 individual libraries and 16 million holdings. The UofT Library system is the largest academic library in Canada and ranks among the top five research libraries in North America.

This article is meant to both expand your library horizons and to give you some cocktail party-suitable historical tidbits.

New College Library (Ivey) 20 Willcocks St; M-Thu 9am-11pm, Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 2-6pm, Sun 1-9pm It’s an ugly library with too-small desks and a weird smell. Don’t go here.

Pros: It’s the westernmost library on campus.

Cons: Everything else.

Fun Fact: New College was quickly created in the early 1960s to meet rising demand for residence facilities.

Hart House Library 7 Hart House Circle, 2nd floor; 7am-midnight every day incl. holidays There’s always a hushed astonishment when I show people the Hart House Library for the first time. The curved and sculpted ceiling, the subtle lighting, the wooden shelves and tables, the red carpet and furniture, the windows overlooking the green, the stained glass, and at the far end that huge stone fireplace. It is, in a word, warmth. The collection was selected entirely by generations of students and HH members; every book was chosen for a distinct reason. It’s not uncommon to find the author’s signature inside the front cover of a volume. It’s also not uncommon for a carillonneur to bang out a couple tunes in the adjacent Soldiers’ Tower.

Pros: Extremely cozy, best hours of any library, best library for just browsing.

Cons: Smelly/snoring randoms, not many desks or tables, couches need new springs.

Fun Fact: Hart House, completed in 1919, was originally a combination student centre and YMCA. Women were denied access until 1972.

Bora Laskin Law Library 78 Queen’s Park Cres M-F 8:45am-11pm (midnight during exams) Sat/Sun 10am-8pm It’s no LSUC Great Library but it does have a wicked computer lab.

Hopefully the completion of the new Osgoode building will stop the semesterly exam-season migration from the

Robarts Library 130 St. George Street (at Harbord); M-F 8:30am-11pm (+24-hr study rooms), Sat 9am-10pm, Sun 10am-10pm

University College Library (Laidlaw Library) 15 Kings College Circle, Laidlaw Wing, 2nd floor; M-Thu 9am-9pm, Fri 9am5pm, Sat 1-5pm, Sun 1-9pm To reach this library you go through the entrance beside Soldiers’ Tower at the SE corner of Back Campus, then go to the 2nd floor. Like the Knox/Caven library, it is a single huge space with high ceilings and lots of natural light.

In contrast with the rest of the RomanRoyal Ontario Museum Libraries 100 Queen’s Park M-F 10am-5pm Sat/Sun closed You might think that that lovely Art Deco-Libeskind Frankenstructure just north of the law school would have a fantastic reading room, but the ROM “library” is really just a bunch of rolling shelves and a couple of tables in a tiny fluorescent-lit basement room.

Pros: You get to walk through part of the museum on your way in.

Cons: More bare-bones archive than proper library.

Fun Fact: The ROM was originally part of UofT, but separated in the mid-1960s so it could attract its own private-sector and government funding.

esque Revival-style University College, the Laidlaw library is bland and uninspiring. Instead of the library, you’d be better off visiting the UofT art gallery one level below.

Pros: Never crowded.

Cons: Boring, lack of power outlets.

Fun Fact: The Laidlaw Library is architecturally different than the rest of University College because the original 1859 library burned to the ground in 1890 and a replacement wasn’t built until the 1960s.

OISE Library (Ontario Institute for Studies in Education) 252 Bloor St W; M-Thu 8:30am-10pm, Fri 8:30am-5pm, Sat 9am-5pm, Sun 1pm6pm OISE (pronounced “OY-zee”) is a real modern library of reinforced concrete and open spaces. It’s nice destination if you’re looking to change it up once in a while.

Pros: Proximity to Tim Horton’s, neat quasi-private study cubicles.

Cons: Frequent rumbling from the Bloor-Danforth subway line.

Fun Fact: Bora Laskin was the first chair of the OISE board in the mid-1960s.

His pro-centrist views on federalism were highly influential in UofT’s introduction of research-based graduate departments, such as OISE, that were independent of the existing federated colleges.

The mothership, the monster, the master athenaeum, the secret library in Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose.

Fourteen stories of brutalist concrete à la Louis Kahn, it’s the largest book repository in Canada. There’s lots of good study space in the stacks (floors 9-13), especially at the coveted apexes of the “triangle” where huge windows converge to provide splendid views of Toronto.

Significant upgrades in the past three years have improved the quality and quantity of study space and created airy atriums on the second floor. Robarts has a reputation as a bit of a “hook-up” spot: the stacks study rooms were known to be particularly randy before the recent upgrades replaced their concrete walls with glass. Unfortunately the 2nd- and 3rdfloor 24-hr study spaces are colonized by

north.

Pros: You get to hang out with your fellow law students.

Cons: You have to hang out with your fellow law students.

Fun Fact: Dean Pritchard’s successful $10m fundraising campaign to build Bora convinced the central UofT administration that it should start badgering all alumni for donations.

stinking undergrads, but if you’re desperate for space just move the books ostensibly “reserving” a desk onto the floor. Be sure to check out the periodicals stacks and the maps room. The media commons has a huge DVD collection available to all UofT students.

Pros: Best place to bunker down for a marathon study session.

Cons: Noisy, stinking undergrads.

Fun Fact: Access to the stacks was originally going to include faculty members, grad students and 4th-year undergrads, but not 1st- to 3rd-year undergrads. In 1972, as Robarts was under construction, undergrads rallied and even staged a sitin at Simcoe Hall (UofT’s administrative nerve centre) demanding stack access.

The police ended the sit-in, but when the library opened in 1973 all undergrads were allowed into the stacks.

Nicknames: The Barts, Robes, Fort Barts, Fort Book, Jail, the Bunker, Hotel Robart, Robots, “the Toilet”, the Death Star, the Peacock and the Turkey.

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

11

FEATURES

Victoria is a “True Hidden Gem” Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library 120 St George St; M-F 9am-5pm Also known as the “head” of the Robarts peacock. It’s not really a place to bring your law books, but you MUST visit this breathtaking library at least once. It has something for everyone, whether you’re into Medieval manuscripts, rare Canadian small-press poetry, or you just want to find books with Northrop Frye’s handwriting in the margins.

Pros: It’s like walking into a fantastic time capsule of knowledge.

Cons: They don’t like you drinking coffee in the library.

Fun Fact: That odd tower on top of the Fisher Library was originally planned as a bell tower, was built without a bell, and was going to have a clock on it until someone realized that the face would only be visible from one spot on St George St.

Victoria College - E J Pratt Library 71 Queen’s Park Cres E; M-Thu 8:30am11:45pm, Fri 8:30am-6:45pm, Sat 12pm5:45pm, Sun 1-11:45pm Pratt is the most modern library on campus. It includes every librarious concept you can imagine: comfy leather chairs, a spacious reading room with big tables, quasi-private carrels, normal carrels, study rooms, a social lounge, a computer lab, and a long table against a strip window the length of the building. All of these concepts are separated in discrete sections of the building.

St Michael’s College Library (John M Kelly Library) 113 St Joseph St M-F 8:30am-11:45pm Sat 10am-11:45pm Sun 1-11:45pm How do you turn a concrete box with no natural light into a place where people might actually want to go?

You fill it with lots of contemporary artwork and hope that nobody notices the architecture.

Pros: Long hours, good art collection.

Cons: Attracts Jersey Shore types, lowquality desks and chairs.

Fun Fact: The Kelly Library was constructed during the 1960s as UofT was experiencing an unprecedentedly massive and rapid period of expansion.

Gerstein Science Information Centre 7 & 9 King’s College Circle; M-F 8:30am11pm, Sat 9am-10pm, Sun 10am-10pm Gerstein is the largest science and health science academic library in Canada, and accordingly is usually full of science students. Renowned local architectural firm Diamond and Schmitt recently restored Gerstein’s reading room to its original 1892 state and discovered some stunning ceiling architecture in the process. There’s also the Morrison Pavilion, which is more modern and features large windows facing the Ontario legislature.

Pros: Whether you like old or new, this library’s for you.

Cons: Often absolutely packed.

Fun Fact: The elaborate doorway south of the current main library entrance was modelled after the doorway of a 12th-century Scottish abbey.

For solo study breaks, browse the periodicals section and then head for the lower level lounge that looks out onto a garden and waterfall.

Pros: Lots of windows, building sections to suit any study preference.

Cons: Can get crowded, some patrons can’t differentiate between social areas of the library and shut-the-hell-up areas.

Fun Fact: E.J. Pratt (1883-1964) was, according to the Encyclopædia Britannica, “the leading Canadian poet of his time.” He grew up in a variety of Newfoundland communities but lived most of his life in Toronto.

Knox College Library (Caven) 59 St George St; M-F 8:30am-10pm, Sat 12-4pm, Sun closed Elegance and openness define this library. Knox College was built in the Gothic tradition modelled on the colleges of Oxford and Cambridge.

It balances grandiosity with an unadorned Protestant simplicity. The Caven Library is a great reading room with soaring ceilings and storey-high mullioned windows that overlook Front Campus.

Pros: Calming atmosphere, lots of natural light, nice courtyard.

Cons: Desks are slightly too high unless you’re a tall person.

Fun Fact: Knox College has been in numerous Hollywood movies including Harold & Kumar and The Incredible Hulk.

Victoria College - Emmanuel College Library 75 Queen’s Park Cres E, 3rd Floor; MThu 8:30am-10pm, Fri 8:30am-5pm, Sat 1-5pm, Sun closed

Trinity College Library (John W Graham Library) (a.k.a. Munk Library) 6 Hoskin Ave; M-Thu 8:30am-11:45pm, Fri 8:30am-8:45pm, Sat 9am-8:45pm, Sun 1pm-11:45pm

A true hidden gem, some law students may hate me for revealing their secret getaway. Located directly across the street from the Law Faculty is possibly the loveliest library on campus. Inside, light filtered through leaves and muntin bars falls across the long narrow tables; it is an incredibly tranquil place. Those with a religious bent will appreciate Emmanuel’s exclusively theological collection. Just outside the library’s south entrance there’s a social lounge with comfy couches, and a little further there’s a proper kitchen that’s technically not for anybody to use but nobody’s going to stop you.

Pros: Almost everything.

Cons: Weekend hours, or lack thereof.

Fun Fact: In 1925, several religious denominations merged to form the United Church of Canada. They expected to keep Knox College as their main seminary, but the Ontario Legislative Assembly gave Knox to those Presbyterians who had opted not to join the new United Church. The United followers left Knox and formed what later became Emmanuel College.

This is one of my staples. Trinity College may be synonymous with Family Compact entitlement but they sure know how to do a library. Graham smells like cedar and has fireplace lounges at each stairwell landing. Those big double doors at the end of each row of stacks? Open them up to reveal reading rooms with comfy chairs. The tables and carrels are perfectly proportioned. Its collection spans the whole range of the humanities and social sciences, and there’s even a section with some law books from the mid-1990s. Patrons generally display good library etiquette.

Pros: Good hours for nighthawks, comfortable furnishings, collection will please dilettantes.

Cons: Strictly enforced no food/drink policy, climate sometimes too hot/dry, utterly filthy washrooms.

Fun Fact: The building that today comprises the Munk School of Global Affairs and the Graham Library was constructed in 1907. It was supposed to have four sides to form a quadrangle in the centre but at the time there weren’t enough funds to build the west side.

12

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

FEATURES

“Do YOU Have a

By Matt Brown (2L)

The answer from Justice John McMahon of the Superior Court of Justice was, of course, no. No, he does not have his own courtroom. Justice Rosalie Abella, however, does. And there was no question who owned the Rosalie Abella Moot Courtroom on October 6, 2011 during U of T’s Grand Moot.

A full house gathered to watch as four of U of T’s top oralists did battle over “Meth Labs: Public Safety and the Charter.” Though the amount of information about where to score some meth was

rather lacking, the performances of the mooters left nothing to be desired.

The undisputed star of the night, however, was U of T Alumna and all round judicial hottie Rosalie Abella. Besides her quip to Justice McMahon, Abella J had some other memorable benchslaps as well, including telling Joe Ensom that she was “only trying to help [him] out” when she pointed to one of the defense’s more dubious arguments.

The panel was also skeptical of Kate Southwell’s contention that, though the law enforcement officers did not act in “bad faith” in conducting the search in questions, they instead exhibited a “lack of good faith.”

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

FEATURES

a Courtroom?”

The Crown did not escape harsh grilling from the panel either. Justice McMahon and Justice Eileen Gillese, of the Ontario Court of Appeal, were especially skeptical of Michael Portner Gartke’s seemingly blasé attitude towards warrantless searches.

Though the grilling was unrelenting, none of the mooters gave ground. Even Southwell’s “lack of good faith” argument remained after her 20 minutes had elapsed and she retook her seat. From our excellent vantage point in the jury box, your correspondent could not detect a single bead of sweat on Ms. Southwell’s brow.

Despite the harsh questioning, all

three Justices were clearly impressed with the high quality of the mooters.

The praise from the bench was unanimous. Referencing the public’s confidence in the justice system (a hot topic during oral arguments), Justice Abella told the mooters that “all four of you will ensure public confidence in the administration of justice.” Barely an eye in the courtroom was dry.

Though some 1Ls were obviously disapointed that no winner is announced in the modern Grand Moot (1Ls love watching souls die), all resolved to watch the second searson of the hit AMC series Breaking Bad in a new, more informed, light.

13

14

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

FEATURES

From Soliciting to Sandwiches

Chad Comfort runs the sandwich restaurant Sky Blue Sky on Bloor. When UV found out that he’s a recovering lawyer, we put eating enthusiast Cary Ferguson on the case

By Cary Ferguson (2L)

W

hat was being a lawyer like for you?

I was a lawyer who practised in Ottawa as a solicitor. I chose a firm to article at which built its reputation in litigation primarily construction litigation. Shortly into my term as an articling student I realized that I wasn’t meant to be a barrister, so I focused on solicitor work. I then did a lot of tax/commercial work and then became really busy in real estate law.

E-reg was just coming into practise and the real estate business was booming making it an exciting time.

I am a conflict avoidance person and worked in what I considered the “happy laws” and enjoyed working with clients.

Nonetheless I realized after 7 years that law was something I did not want to do for the remainder of my life.

What inspired you to start a sandwich restaurant?

As a conflict avoidance person, I do enjoy making people happy and enjoy making/creating food.

The food I like to create is mostly comfort food - soups, sandwiches - and I wanted to create a spot that would reflect the food.

Therefore, when trying to create a place that would make people feel comfortable while serving comfort food we thought that the name Sky Blue Sky would be perfect.

We also knew that we would play mostly indie music and we’re big fans of the band Wilco, so Sky Blue Sky seemed a natural fit on many levels.

What inspired the Wilco-themed wall decorations at SBS? Sky Blue Sky is a name of a Wilco al-

bum and song.

Some of their posters were food inspired and we thought it would fit in with the theme of the restaurant.

Some people notice that they’re Wilco posters while some people think that it’s just a painting of ketchup bottles.

How did the transition from lawyer to restauranteur go? Did you find your legal education or practise helped you succeed in the restaurant world?

The transition was not without any bumps, but life has taught me that you learn from your mistakes. Also, if you’re passionate about what you do you’ll spend the time to make sure that your product is a good one.

I worked long hours as a lawyer so that came in handy when owning a business and I must say that the first year contracts and torts classes have helped me tremendously in much of my decision making in the restaurant world and life in general.

What sandwich do you make when you’ve got all the ingredients in the world at your fingertips?

I prefer simple sandwiches with quality ingredients.

I bake all the bread for sandwiches because you first need good sandwich bread.

I would make a white bread with cheese sprinkled throughout it and use fresh Ontario grown tomatoes - we’ll pretend I’m making the sandwich in August.

After layering one slice of the bread with the tomatoes I would sprinkle fresh basil and grilled onions over the tomatoes and place some provolone cheese on top.

Essentially I would make myself the Red Eyed and Blue from our menu when the tomatoes are in perfect shape.

Did you like law school? What did you want to practise when you were a law stu-

dent?

be reading this interview?

I really enjoyed my time in law school. I made some great friends that I am still in contact with today and surprisingly enjoyed reading cases on all sorts of topics.

At that time in my life I wanted to be a barrister and focus on construction law.

Never did I think that I would work in the field of tax law.

Enjoy your time at law school because I miss that time right now when I’m working long hours everyday.

However, after law school find something that you love to do and you can wake up each day and be happy going to work.

Sky Blue Sky can be found at: 605 Bloor Street West in meatspace and online at http://www.sbssandwiches.com/.

Do you have any advice for all the impressionable young law students who will

What’s the Purpose of Law School?

Does U of T aspire to more than churning out Bay Street Lawyers?

By Patrick Hartford (2L)

W

hether you love it or hate it, most of us can agree that law school is a little insane – high tuition, high stress, and a very high concentration of Type A personalities in two little buildings. There are a lot of ideas about what the purpose of this strange little bubble actually is.

The ideas fall roughly within two broad camps. The first group sees law school as a vocational training. We are here to get jobs. The other group thinks the purpose of law school is higher education and intellectual engagement. Our faculty was created in response to this so-called Fiercest Debate and the efforts of Cecil “The Other Head” Wright to move away from the rigid, vocational model.

So which is it? Are we a Bay Street feeder school or a centre of higher learning? Are the two mutually exclusive?

On the one hand, we very much are a feeder school (or in the words of one UV editor, the feeder school). The large firms sponsor our events, our clubs, and our grading system is designed with them in mind.

The administration cares very much about school rankings and how well we do at OCIs relative to others. That’s why they make sure to tell us which courses we should take and how to dress for interviews. It’s why they send us a million reminder emails about anything and everything OCI related. If none of us got a job in legal aid it would go unnoticed, but if none of us got a job on Bay Street it would be a crisis. Part of it is also the student culture. We miss classes to go on firm tours. A lot of us mentally check-out in 3L when we’ve already got a job lined up and no longer have to worry about grades.

On the other hand, our faculty provides us with so many opportunities for learning. You can work as an RA for a professor, do competitive mooting, or spend

a summer abroad as part of a funded IHRP internship. No one is putting a gun against your head and forcing you to go into corporate law. There are opportunities in government, academia, and a variety of NGOs. U of T students are incredibly talented and have a diverse range of interests and passions. And the school offers us a wide variety of upper year courses with some of the most impressive professors in their fields.

But really truly, this debate misses the point. Some of us are here just for jobs and some of us only care about intellectual engagement, but most of us fall between the two extremes. There are so many opportunities available that the purpose of law school is whatever we want it to be. The real question to be addressed is how institutional and external factors are affecting what law school is for us.

The combination of deregulated tuition, 1L exams that count for 100%, and the emergence of 2L summer employment create a strong set of incentives for students to hit the ground running.

From day one, we’re afraid of ‘messing up’ and doing poorly in 1L, not getting a job at OCIs, and not being able to pay off our debts. Under this kind of pressure, you can’t blame someone for going with the flow.

You can go through U of T law by following the mass emails and you’ll end up with a job at some firm. But does this lead to the best possible matching between students and the jobs available? A law degree is a versatile degree and there are a lot of opportunities out there. What we’re missing is a grace period where nothing is on the line and we can reflect on what our options are.

We have limited control over the institutions that we find ourselves in, but we define the student culture and just thinking about why things are the way they are is a good start. Our school was founded out of discontent with the status quo. It’s up to us to be open to new ideas.

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

15

OPINIONS

Point / Counterpoint

What’s Better: OCIs or Sex?

Though neither Andrew nor Pete have much experience with either, Ultra Vires presents you with the opinion column they use as an excuse to show off how hairy they are

O

By Andrew Robertson (3L)

ctober is wonderful for all kinds of reasons: the start of the hockey season; Thanksgiving turkey; and, perhaps best of all, OCIs. Now, I know many 2Ls think that OCIs are about as enticing as spending a pub night being leered at by a drunken, Wolf-Man Australian, but in my most humble of opinions, there is no better human contact available out there than the 17 minutes you spend in that blue felt.

In fact, I would make the argument that OCIs are actually better than sex. Why? Well let me tell you the top 5 reasons….

1. OCIs are ALWAYS 2 on 1: Now, I don’t know what most of you get up to in your private lives, but judging by the fact that the majority of our peers are in stable, long-term relationships, or alternatively, are desperately lonely chronic self-lovers, I’m assuming most of you aren’t visited by two gentle souls on a regular basis. In the OCI setting, you always have two people looking after you – feeling out your soul, probing your passions, accompanying you on a journey of self-discovery. And unlike your real life partner, the two OCI’ers aren’t going to make lame excuses as to why they don’t really feel like being there. They always want to be there.

2. You get to do it up to 16 times in one day: Now, for people on the wrong side of 30 (see opposite) this might not actually be very appealing. Hell, at that age, you have to take some serious performance enhancers to keep up (I saw you guzzling those red bulls at OCIs last year Smiley!)

But for us young bucks, the more we can get it in a day, the better. Judging by the time constraints on most students/ lawyers, I can confidently say that you will never again get to do it 16 times in a day (except on vacation), and by the time you actually get vacation, you’ll be an aging ex-hippie dissatisfied with selling

out, rocking a beard and a funny accent, and just hoping for some peace and quiet (again, see opposite). So rock out 16 times in a day while you can. This leads me to my next point…..

3. Multiple firms to experiment with: Most of us don’t get the opportunity to have up to 16 (x2 – see point 1) partners in a day. Nor would you really want to, judging by current levels of STIs in the general population. But in the OCI context, you can really experiment. Try out different roles, and not in the creepy, using-a-fake-name-at-the bar way. Like it rough? There’s a firm that will demean you like all hell. More into the gentle, caring type? Well, there are firms that will look after your every need, caressing you in ever so delicate ways. And the OCI process just lets you find out what you’re really into in one fell swoop, unlike your sex life, which was a fits-and-starts process beginning in high school and, by the looks of some of you, is still working itself out.

4. The Voyeur Charm: Ok, now this might sound a little creepy, but let’s be honest: people love doing it in situations in which someone might be watching, or listening, or might even intrude and join in. That’s why porn sells, why the internet is still around, and why VHS beat Betamax. In your senior year of high school, the excitement induced by the chance of being caught probably manifested itself by you driving up to the Burnaby Mountain parking lot and fumbling around in the dark in the backseat of your Dad’s Chevy Cavalier. (I’ve been told that’s what people from Vancouver did.) But now, adult relations are usually done in the comfort of our homes. OCIs allow you to relive those good ol’ days. Can the people in the next felt room hear us? Am I being too loud? What if someone enters before I’m finished? All situations that can, and will happen, during OCIs. 5. It can last up to 17 minutes. Enough said.

A

By Pete Smiley (3L)

ndrew Robertson would have you believe that OCIs are better than sex. You should take this with a grain of salt, for two reasons. Firstly, Andrew’s experience of sex consists solely of one all-male undergraduate game of spin the bottle, and a 2-terabyte hard-drive full of hentai porn.

Secondly, OCI’s are not better than sex.

OCI’s are not even better than the worst sex you’ve ever had. Remember the time you had sex and then afterwards you had to sit under a scalding hot shower for half an hour, swigging from a bottle of vodka and scrubbing yourself with a dishwashing brush until you passed out in the bath like a red manatee made of shame? OCI’s are worse. Let me address each of Andrew’s points in turn: 1. OCIs are always 2-on-1 True, as far as it goes. But put yourself in your interviewer’s shoes. You’re a second year associate at a big firm, you’re working on 17 files simultaneously and you’re one flight of stairs away from cardiac arrest. One day, among the several thousand emails you receive and are expected to respond to on a daily basis, comes an order from the Director of Student Recruitment to go spend two days listening to 37 sweaty 2Ls tell you how they spent their summer working in an orphanage in Kampala and it was sooooo rewarding. It’s surprising that more interviewers don’t commit seppuku during coffee breaks. Conclusion: you’l get more intimacy and genuine human feeling from 2 blow-up dolls than from your OCI interviewers.

2. You get to do it up to 16 times in 1 day Andrew can be forgiven for being confused here, as he still doesn’t know what it’s like to do it one time in one day. But take it from someone who was voted ‘Most Ruggedly Sexual’ at his high school

graduation - 16 times is excessive, particularly when it’s with people who really don’t want to be there. If you don’t believe me, borrow Andrew’s copy of ‘World’s Biggest Gangbangs’, and note the faces of the protagonists at around the 2-hour mark.

That’s what you’re going to look like after a day of OCIs. 3. Multiple firms to experiment with Experimentation is fine, up to a point.

But some of us are a little older and a little wiser than others. Some of us know exactly what we want - we want to find that special someone to cherish and protect, who knows us better than we know ourselves, who will stick by us through good times and bad, and who’s also smoking hot and ready to overlook a thick pelt of body hair and some major personality flaws. Are you that special someone?

Drop me a line - peter.smiley@utoronto. ca. Photos required, and none of those deceptive black and white ones taken from above. You know what I’m talking about.

4. The voyeur charm It’s true that people get off on doing it in situations where others might see, hear or catch them. But nobody likes being that someone doing the seeing, hearing and catching, particularly when you’re seeing, hearing and catching your not-particularly-attractive friends. That will be your unenviable position during OCIs. You will hear your friends in the next booth tell the same stupid anecdote about the orphanage in Kampala over and over again, struggle to answer basic substantive questions, and flirt clumsily with recruiters in a desperate attempt to gain a competitive edge. They will hear you do the same. At the end of the process you may find it hard to look each other in the eye, kind of like after that reading week when you rented out the ski chalet and did jello shots in the hot-tub and everything after that is kind of a blur (weeps in shower).

5. It can last up to 17 minutes So can getting your back waxed.

16

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

OPINIONS

The Wright Man | Louis Tsilivis In Defence of Higher Tuition

D

uring U of T student elections last year, I was stopped in front of the law library by a grad student campaigning for a seat on the university’s Governing Council. He was canvassing Flavelle Hall for some extra votes. Apparently, we are having a crisis in education.

“Tuition fees have been rising every year by 4 to 8 percent,” he tells me. “It’s becoming less and less affordable for lower-income students to attend university. We’re becoming like a big American school.”

“What about financial aid?” I ask. “How much has it increased by?”

The student-politico falters.

“I’m not 100% sure, but—” He continues to throw stats about tuition fees at me, without another word on financial aid. He tells me he’s a proud member of the “Drop Fees” movement and supports their cause.

These kinds of statistics do not only fail to show the actual affordability of higher education, but they are also grossly misleading.

Suffice to say, I was pleased to learn that that student would lose his bid for Governing Council (to the affable Cary Ferguson, a law student who supports reasonable economic policies).

I’ll tell you how higher tuition can actually make education more affordable, why the big political parties are wrong, and why having relatively high tuition at U of T’s Faculty of Law is actually a good idea.

The Missing Variables T

o be clear, I’m in favour of smart educational policies. That means both a society where universities are affordable to people of all income brackets, and where universities are well-funded enough to increase the intellectual and educational capital of our society.

The problem with viewing affordability through the lens of tuition alone is that this is only one part of the whole equation. Tuition fees alone do not equate to affordability. Instead, there are two missing variables: familial wealth and financial aid.

It goes without saying that students who have large sums of money in saving accounts or parents with deep pockets will be differently impacted by tuition hikes than students with less financial options.

Indeed, for those of greater means, tuition raises have little to no affect.

Who we are really concerned for then with regards to tuition are students with less financial means.

And that’s where the second missing variable – financial aid – comes into play.

If these students are receiving (as they rightly should) grants to offset tuition, then their affordability function is tuition minus financial aid.

This is precisely the intellectual Achilles’ Heel of the “Drop Fees” movement.

If their goal is affordability, then the

PHOTO COURTESY of THE HOBBIT Smaug can afford, barely, to go to the University of Toronto Faculty of Law. If you aren’t a dragon with a pile of gold, better suck it up.

movement’s focus should be on how much lower-income students actually pay, and not tuition as a whole. If a school were to raise its fees by $10,000, but then raise financial aid for all students by $10,000, then affordability would be unchanged.

But if we actually care about affordability, then we can effectively use tuition hikes – coupled with targeted aid – to actually make university less expensive.

A $10,000 tuition hike could come with $15,000 grants to lower-income students and no aid to wealthier students; this sort of tuition increase could actually mean greater accessibility.

That’s the problem with the “Drop Fees” movement: it doesn’t allow for the sort of differential tuition regime that can actually allow for more affordable and better-funded universities.

The Painful Political Realties U

nfortunately, political parties of late have either been blindly committed to the “Drop Fees” orthodoxy (the New Democrats), or been using education policy as a vote-grab to lure student or suburban voters (the Liberals).

The New Democrats have long insisted that tuition rates be frozen or lowered to make education more affordable.

Aside from the fact that this would starve universities (who face rising

“education inflation” rates), such a policy would be incredibly inefficient, as it would lower rates for all students, including wealthier ones.

But the NDP has deep roots in the student movement, and there is a lot of political pressure to tow the traditional line on tuition, regardless of the effectiveness of such a policy.

The Liberals have been recently guilty of the same kind of wrong-headed thinking. On coming to office, McGuinty froze tuition for two years, and promised $1,600 grants to lower and “middle class” families during this past election.

The first issue is that McGuinty’s definition of “middle class” includes anyone whose family makes $160,000 or less annually. The second is that this proposal is audaciously made in the name of making education more accessible.

Families making $160,000 would be marginally affected by these grants. A sensible policy would have taken that grant money and given it in larger amounts to a smaller number of students who are in greater need of it. Alas, the realities of a close race and the power of the suburban voter can make a pragmatic party pursue bad policy.

Higher Education High Tuition

T

oronto’s Faculty of Law should not be embarrassed of its high tuition fees because they – along with its generous financial aid program – allow it to pursue a sensible differential tuition regime.

However, having high tuition also intrinsically provides a boon.

While U of T may not be able to compete with Yale or Harvard’s coffers, having rates that are significantly higher than our nearest Canadian rivals can be a good thing.

People instinctively associate price with quality; whether deserved or not, U of T’s $25,389 tuition, in comparison to Osgoode Hall’s $17,631 (last year’s figure), gives the impression of higher quality.

But perhaps more nobly, having a Canadian school that charges high fees does the country a service; it allows us to be able to afford a faculty that groups together many of the country’s most brilliant legal minds.

Aside from providing our students with a world-class education, an academy with such a concentration of legal heavyweights is able to provide for greater collaboration between academics and provide for a certain critical mass in Canadian legal scholarship.

High tuition is the price that we pay to have bright lawyers in academia – as opposed to losing them to Bay Street or American law schools – where they can enrich our understanding of law in this country.

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

17

OPINIONS

U of T Can’t Give Money Away BDRP designed to allow U of T students to pursue low-paid careers. Only 46 apply.

T

By Josh Mandryk (1L)

he Back-End Debt Relief Program is key for those students who plan on seeking employment beyond Bay that may not necessarily cover their student loans.

It is a tragedy, then, that many students don’t know about it. Which means that students feel pushed towards a career with one of the Seven Sisters.

This is understandable. First year tuition is $25,389 and rising annually and Toronto rents are sky-high.

Enter the BDRP. According to the Faculty website, it was developed “to ensuregraduates will be able to make career choices based on interest rather than debt-induced financial pressures,” it ensures that students who want to work in Legal Aid, government or public interest can.

It does this through debt forgiveness.

Graduates are eligible for up to ten years after graduation. If the student remains in the program for the full ten years his or her entire loan will be forgiven.

Eligibility is based on a basic income level of $46,500. Students are expected to contribute 30 per cent of their income beyond that to debt repayment.

According to the Financial Aid office, only 46 graduates applied this year. The Faculty could not be reached for comment by press time for more detailed statistics.

The importance of the BDRP goes beyond its positive impact on career decisions of graduates.

An unintended consequence of burdening students at Canada’s best law school with piles of debt is that it reinforces the status quo, which is unfortunate. Rather than facilitating access to justice or offering pro bono to low-income people, they too often must instead take a corporate law job in order to afford to pay down their debt and put food on the table.

Justice Scalia of the United States Supreme Court once lamented that we are “wasting some of our best minds” on the practice of law. Perhaps one might say that we are wasting some of our best legal minds representing the wealthy and the powerful, on representing the private rather than the public interests because students are forced onto this Bay Street track.

The BRDP program is not perfect.

In particular, the financial eligibility threshold is sufficiently low that students who pursue careers in Legal Aid and other public interest fields will graduate out of the system within ten years. Nonetheless, as the first and only such program in Canada, the BRDP reflects a meaningful commitment by the Faculty towards addressing the impact of debt on students’ career decisions.

The Financial Aid office said this month that they are considering increasing the income threshold for BDRP eligibility.

The BRDP currently makes it financially possible for U of T Law graduates to pursue low-paying careers.

If the Faculty wants to promote greater social responsibility among the profession, expansion would be an admirable first step.

PHOTO COURTESY of NATHAN PHILLIPS You don’t have to work on Bay Street like former Mayor Nathan Phillips, if you don’t want to.

Levant: The Unreasonable Man Levant’s message of structural HRC issues buried under bombastic rhetoric

O

By Jordan Katz (1L)

n September 27, the Canadian Constitution Foundation hosted Ezra Levant in the Moot Court Room.

Levant, who has most recently made headlines for his support of Canada’s oil sands, was invited to discuss his 2009 bestselling book, Shakedown.

In his speech, Levant argued that provincial and federal Human Rights Commissions engage in abusive practices that threaten the civil liberties they were designed to uphold.

His quarrel with HRCs stems from a complaint brought against him to the Alberta Human Rights Commission in 2006 for publishing the infamous “Muhammad” cartoons in his magazine, The Western Standard.

Levant raises legitimate questions about the role and function of HRCs. There are indeed frivolous complaints.

It is unfair that complainants need not meet the standard of proof expected in judicial proceedings.

Costs are imposed exclusively on defendants.

HRCs almost exclusively finds in fa-

vour of complainants.

They have also expanded their interpretation of the Human Rights Act so as to encroach on freedom of expression.

It is unfortunate then, that while Levant takes issue with the tendency of HRCs to engage in malicious prosecution and refuse due process, it is perhaps ironic that his performance, as it should rightfully be called, exhibited both behaviours in good measure.

Demonstrating an impatience – if not EZRA LEVANT an allergy – to any Author of “Ethical sense of propriety, Oil” and “ShakeLevant responded to down” reasonable and principled objections to his position by resorting to ad hominem attacks.

Fully exercising his right to free speech, Levant leveled accusations of racism and bigotry that prompted no apology from him or the event’s organizers.

In response to a separate question, Levant argued that both our pre-existing legal framework supported by the Charter,

together with the ‘force of shame’ that communities enforce against discriminatory actors, eliminate the need for distinct human rights legislation and HRCs. Yet, in response to a later question, Levant saw no problem with – and in fact defended – the practice of asking a woman if she planned to get pregnant during her employment in the course of a job interview.

I wonder if Levant perceives the gestation process as a massive feminist conspiracy to defraud taxpayers and corporations alike.

In any event, his responses illustrate that his concept of justice and the protection of individual rights is narrow to the point of suffocating, leaving little if any room for empathy.

It calls into question the principles on which his argument is premised.

To be sure, we are not entitled to propriety, politeness or respect from those whose ideas we debate, engage or deny.

Indeed, as Levant argued, there exists no right not to be offended.

Yet Levant allows his otherwise reasonable objection to the questionable state of affairs at our HRCs to become lost in a cloud of his own bombast and hypocrisy.

PHOTO COURTESY of EZRA LEVANT After a scrap at the HRC involving his printing the imfamous “Muhammad” cartoods, Levant wrote Shakedown (2009, top). He has recently written Ethical Oil (2011, bottom), where he argues in favour of the oil sands.

18

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

3L: The Most Pointless Year of Your Life

By Augustus Merrifield (3L)

E

ditor’s note: All names, including that of the intrepid reporter who went undercover to unearth these stories, have been changed to protect identities (and articling positions).

We’ve all heard the saying: in 1L they work you to death, in 2L they scare you to death, and in 3L they bore you to death.

While there is an ostensible point to the suffering in 1L and 2L (grades, and jobs), 3L holds no such reward.

You might wonder why a third year is necessary.

You might also wonder why the law school is bluffing on all these death threats. To investigate the issue, we’ve dredged up some old arguments in favour of 3L, straw-manned them, and refuted them with true -but admittedly unrepresentative - stories from real students.

“3L is a time to buckle down and hone that work ethic – you’re gonna need it when your articling term starts!”

3L is many things, but it is not a boot camp for the articling period. It’s more often used as a time to do things completely irrelevant to articling. 3L Geronimus Sanchez took a week off in October because he “just wanted to see London”. He’s flying to Chicago later this year for a week, because it’s “a nice city.” A recent graduate of this fine institution (now a Law Clerk) spent all of last November lost in the Carpathians. To analogize: if 1L is the Dark Ages, and 2L is the Industrial Revolution, 3L is the Romantic Era. It’s a chance to do fantastic, novel things before Articling (AKA, the Age of Terror) consumes us.

Other students have less grand approaches to 3L. Another classmate – let’s call this one Dr. Horatio Barnaby – is batting close to .100 on class attendance at time of printing. To Horatio, 3L is a pastiche of Doritos, doobies, and Netflix. He missed a week of school earlier this month because, in his own words, he “just wasn’t feeling it.” And he’s probably learning more about criminal procedure from The Wire than you are anyways.

“3L is a time to take those key substantive law courses that will make you a heavy hitter around the office”

Did you manage to take Business Organizations? Good. Ninety percent of us will learn ninety percent of

ultravires.ca

OPINION

what we need to know through this and some other business law courses. Even those students not pursuing business law will struggle to fill 3L with substantive, professionally relevant courses. And what we don’t learn in class, we learn on the job anyway.

Instead, 3L is all about electives. It’s a year for “broadening horizons”. 3L Hayden Pennyfeather chose his classes based on how many subtitles and punctuation marks appeared in the course name (ex: “Whither the State? Theories of Maritime Law: A Caribbean Feminist Perspective!”). And Hayden is known to be one of the most diligent and academically successful students in 3L. “3L is a time for consolidating personal relationships with your peers which will create professional opportunities further down the road” Wrong again. As a 3L, the most professionally relevant group to develop relationships with are the senior lawyers in the profession – not the snot-nosed articling student you went to Law Games with. Moreover, by 3L you’re probably held to whatever impression you made on people in 1L and 2L, and unless you can pull a She’s All That and flip the script before high-school prom, you should just accept the fact that you’re not a classic beauty and move on.

“3L is about developing your extracurriculars – it’s fun to get involved and make a difference!”

Fair enough. But it’s not really “extracurriculars”, in the true sense, when you pay $24,000 to participate. If you took all the tuition the law school collects from 3Ls in a given year and put it in a trust fund for inner city lunch programs, you could serve up enough sloppy joes to feed a rabble of sixth-graders, and employ the ex-con lunch ladies who serve them, for years. But yeah, that research project you did on animal law probably changed a lot of lives too.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I do believe 3L brings value to the curriculum, and I would be sad to see it go the way of the mandatory SUYRP. It’s just admittedly hard to justify along pragmatic lines.

But hey, as long as the Wed afternoon smoke sessions and week-long vacations continue, you won’t see any 3Ls really complaining about it. All I’m saying is that we should call it the way it is – the most pointless year of your life.

Mobros and Mosistas: We Salute you

By Andrew Robertson (3L)

O

ne of the perks of being an editor at UV (apart from the groupies) is the freedom to basically write whatever I want. Usually, that manifests itself in me pontificating on the merits of corporate law or advancing my not-so-hidden libertarian agenda. But in this column, I actually want to talk to you about something that, in my humble opinion, really matters.

I’m talking of course about Movember.

Firstly, I’d like to draw attention to the facts about the Movember team at our Faculty. For those who don’t know, over the last 2 years, we have raised over $19k for Movember Canada. We have had the honour of being the highest raising charity fundraiser at our Faculty; the highest raising Faculty of Law in Canada; and have had among our ranks numerous students and some of our distinguished professors. Along the way, people have had a lot of fun raising money for an important cause. This year, all the professional faculties at U of T are getting together to throw a massive fundraiser party on November 18 (more information to follow!).

But I’m not writing this column today to praise the Movember team; instead, I wish to counter some myths about Movember. I’ve heard people tell me in the past that they view it as “silly” and just an excuse for guys to look stupid. While the moustaches are of course funny, the real reason for Movember is simple – raise money for prostate cancer research, support services for survivors and their families, and support services for families of those who lost their battle against prostate cancer. And, while the cancer itself is a men’s health issue, prostate cancer affects more than just the one in seven men who will be diagnosed with the disease – behind each of those men are friends and families who will go through

the struggles of prostate cancer with their loved one. Nor is the Movember campaign just for men – while (most) women can’t grow moustaches, Mo Sistas are an integral part of Movember, not only raising money as part of the campaign, but also graciously supporting the men in their lives who grow often-hideous facial hair.

In other words, Movember is not a joke; it is important because it is affecting real change in the fight against what can be a very debilitating disease many Canadians. On a personal note, I started the Faculty of Law Movember team in my first year at law school because my Father’s best friend, a man I grew up knowing affectionately as Uncle John, had his prostate cancer return in 2008 after several years of remission. I was lucky enough to be back in Vancouver in the summer between 1L and 2L and was able to spend time with him as the cancer progressed and he was unfortunately forced to move from his apartment to a hospice. John passed away a year ago this October. Two months ago, I attended his eldest son’s wedding. At the wedding, the groom and his best man, his younger brother, spoke emotionally of how happy their father would have been to see his son married.

His absence was a painful reminder that prostate cancer can have far-reaching effects on families and friends.

This Movember, I hope you can all join us in fundraising for this very important cause. So whether you can grow a moustache or not; whether you think it is silly or not; whether you are a man or a woman; or whether you think a moustache would look bad on you are, in the end, concerns that I hope will not dissuade you from supporting Movember, in whatever way you can. I think the question you should ask yourself is: can I play a part (however small) in helping fight prostate cancer?

If you have any questions about Movember, please contact me at andrew.robertson@utoronto.ca or Jason Goodman at jason.goodman@utoronto.ca

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

19

OPINION

Beware: Young Conservatives are Everywhere

Young liberal explains that only he understands what horrors they’re truly capable of

1

By Marty McKendry (2L)

Ls, beware: young conservatives stalk these halls. In two years here, I’ve learned to tolerate their opposition to social justice and their aversion to fun. I’ve also gained a measure of begrudging respect for their flawless haircuts and crisp outfits. Indeed, I confess it’s cute in a dark way to watch young Tories come of age – like the scene in Jurassic Park when the velociraptors hatch.

But soon enough they will come for the weak and vulnerable among us. It is their nature. So I’m writing to selflessly share some words of advice on how to manage these budding villains.

Two fundamental questions present themselves. First, where do young conservatives come from? Second, what do they want? Traditionally, the answer to both questions is ‘money’. But with their heroes Harper and Ford in office, one finds the young conservative population increasingly lusting after power and glory.

This is a troubling development. Consider, for instance, the recent founding of a Conservative Party club at our hitherto progressive and enlightened institution.

Steel yourselves, my friends, because these fledgling fiscal hawks are networking each other even as you read these words.

By the day, by the very hour, their ambitions rise as their hearts harden. How long before they rip the creepy Trudeau portrait from the walls of the Laskin library? Winter is coming.

So what are the reasonable amongst us to do? If you’re like I was in first year, nothing has prepared you for socializing with twenty-somethings who have never even flirted with idealism. The social dilemmas are obvious.

How is one to receive their cherished anecdotes about meeting Brian Mulroney at the Granite Club? How is one to reconcile their love of the Queen with the fact that they are not 85 years old? How is one to come to terms with the pleats in their khakis that cut up an otherwise chilled out scene like a razor’s edge? These ques-

tions have furrowed my brow on many a sleepless night.

Here is my advice. Remember that, as human beings, many young conservatives have the potential to correct their worldview by experiencing empathy for the first time. The best approach, therefore, is to love the conservative and hate the conservatism. Thus, I have become friends with at least three young conservatives, and I encourage you to do the same.

To make this happen, you have to bridge the considerable cultural divide between conservatives and reasonable people. As a first step, mind the little things. When talking to a young conservative pepper your conversation with expressions like ‘old sport’ and focus on delivering firm handshakes and frequent backslaps. Drink G&T’s, and call them G&T’s.

Whenever possible mention how you enjoy skiing at Collingwood, and try to create the impression that some of your relatives may have a chalet in the region. If you can, reference by name any

acquaintances you have who went to Upper Canada College. These efforts will establish your sufficiently elite pedigree.

If you really want to go that extra mile, remember nothing says “I’m one of you” like a crested blazer.

Once you have established cordial rapport, you will need meatier topics to sustain dialogue with your new friends. If you dislike New Democrats (even if only because they are blustery, vote-splitting spoilers), focus your conversations on NDP bashing. Not only does criticizing New Democrats require little imagination or skill, it is a most pleasant pastime. In this way, reasonable people owe New Democrats a debt of gratitude for making friendship with Tories possible.

You may also wish to discuss a potential NDP-Liberal merger (and be sure to note the fear in the conservatives’ beady eyes at the mention of this prospect).

American politics are also a fruitful topic, and most young Canadian conservatives are surprisingly willing to admit that Republicans are full-on bat shit crazy. This is valuable common ground.

At our firm, you don’t work for us, you work with us.

Ogilvy Renault has joined Norton Rose Group 2600 lawyers 5 continents 1 vision thenortonrosedifference.com

NROR1150_ultra_vires_ads_2011_12.indd 1

9/14/2011 2:32:27 PM

20

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

DIVERSIONS

UV Cooks

Quick N’ Easy Hainanese Chicken Rice

A

By Jeremy Ablaza (3L)

little background on this dish.

I first encountered it in Singapore, where everyone considers it the national dish.

Singaporeans pride themselves on being foodies, so for a humble chicken-andrice dish to be the consensus favorite says something about the dish.

Cooking it the traditional way involves a large pot of boiling water and an equally large pot of ice water to cook (and then chill) a whole chicken.

I’ve scaled this down a bit and made it into a one-pot meal, because I’m a lazy bastard.

INGREDIENTS A chicken thigh (bone-in and skin-on would be ideal, but I guess this would work if you used a boneless skinless breast too).

• About 1/3 cup of rice • About 1/3 cup of water • 1/3 cup of chicken broth (especially necessary if you are going to use the aforementioned chicken breast) • Minced garlic and ginger • Soy sauce • Scallions • Chili flakes • Rice wine vinegar or mirin • Sesame oil • A bit of sriracha sauce, if you want to heat it up a bit

INSTRUCTIONS • In a deep pot, brown the chicken on both sides for a few minutes. You’re not trying to cook it, but you are trying to render out a bit of the fat to cook with. If your chicken is skinless (and thus lacking in fat), feel free to supplement this with a bit of canola.

• Take out the chicken and, in the same pot, brown the garlic and ginger over high heat • Add the dry rice to the pot and stir it around, allowing the chicken fat, ginger, and garlic to coat all the grains liberally.

If you get a bit of a toast on the rice, don’t worry - that’s a good thing.

• Add the water and chicken broth, put the chicken on top of the rice, and let it all come to a low boil.

JEREMY ABLAZA • Once you’ve got a Culinary Expert boil going, bring the heat down to mediumlow • Cover the pot and walk away from it for about 30-45 minutes • While you’re waiting for the chicken to cook, you can make the dipping sauce by mixing the soy sauce, scallions, chili flakes, rice wine vinegar/mirin, and a splash of sesame oil. Whisk it vigorously and let it sit.

• Once it’s done, shred or chop the chicken and serve it on top of the chicken rice.

Drizzle some sauce on top and serve some on the side.

• If you want to heat up the sauce a little bit, whisk some sriracha into it.

Champion Cranberry Sauce PHOTO COURTESY of EASY VEGAN MEALS Home-made cranberry sauce has a million variations, each one much more delicious than the canned stuff.

C

By Todd Brayer (2L)

ranberries are a timeless Canadian fruit and are now in season, so this is a great recipe for the poor student. This is also exceptionnally easy to make for the poor-atcooking student like yours truly.

INGREDIENTS • One bag of cranberries from the supermarket. The Ocean Spray ones work great. Roughly 350 grams, $3.

• Cup of water • Cup of white/brown sugar • Cinnamon • Whatever fruit you have sitting around.

INSTRUCTIONS • Mix sugar and water in a pot. Stick the stove on max so the sugar melts.

• Wash the cranberries, wash and cut any other fruit you plan on using.

• Put the fruit into the pot. Apply a liberal amount of cinnamon.

• Reduce heat somewhat, allow to simmer for 30-40 minutes.

• You’ll know you’re done when it’s thickened up and the cranberries have opened.

• Serves 6 or 1 post-exam JD student.

PHOTO COURTESY of STICKY RICE CHICAGO Hainanese Chicken Rice also goes well with chicken broth and sauces on the side

PHOTO COURTESY of ANEFFINGFOODIE Hainanese Chicken Rice is perfect for those days when you want to eat both rice and chicken.

Hummus for the Ages H

By Todd Brayer (2L)

ummus is incredibly easy to make and is very hard to screw up - perfect for the law student.

I use this recipe every few weeks and it works perfectly.

INGREDIENTS •A regular-sized can of chick peas.

•60 ml, or so, of the liquid from the chick pea can.

•5 tablespoons of lemon juice •1 1/2 tablespoons tahini (sometimes called tahina) •Up to 4 cloves of garlic depending on taste INSTRUCTIONS • Drain the chick peas, keeping about 5060 ml of the liquid.

• Mix everything together.

• Put it all into a blender, blend 5-7 miuntes.

• The easiest way to do this is to use a blender or chopper. Otherwise anything like a mortar and pestle or even a potato masher will work.

• If you like, you can add olive oil, salt, parseley or dill for taste at this point. Eat with toast or pita.

PHOTO COURTESY of SEBASTIANS TAVERNA Aside from being absolutely delicious, hummus is rumoured to be connected to such historical figures as Saladin. It’s now incredibly popular in Israel, where per capita it is consumed twice as much as in neighbouring Middle East countries.

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

21

DIVERSIONS

Ask Dr. Valencia Dr. Valencia has a PhD in relationship studies from the University of Rangoon. He was awarded the annual Dr. Ruth prize for relationship counseling 7 times in his 6-year career. He is recently divorced.

Dear Dr. Valencia, I’m a 1L and I’ve noticed that since starting law school, I’ve developed a thing for powerful old women. After I went to the moot last week, it ballooned into a serious problem. Now when I make love to my girlfriend, I envision a 50-year-old woman in bed with me. Is this normal and if so, will it pass?

- Tim Trophy-Hub Dear Tim, This is normal; do not fret. You no doubt have Dean Moran for Torts. There is absolutely no debate that the Dean is a fox. No amount of voluminous hair can engulf the massive charm coupled and authoritative presence that follows Mayo.

I can’t even count the fellas that wouldn’t mind a bit of muffin madness, if you know what I mean. Ladies should take comfort the tort of alienation of affection is now longer actionable in Canada. And now,

your mooting experience has exposed you to a vixen of a higher caliber, Rosalie. If you like powerful women, Rosalie Abella wields the power of the SCC in ways that would make your puny 1L-sized gavel shiver with inadequacy. Feel free to also look into C.J. Bev McLachlin, or Sandra Day O’Conner for that matter.

I should note there is nothing wrong with liking older women, especially much older. I won’t lie to you and claim that the chances of you landing a date are high, as young men aren’t looked upon with the same objectified goggles as young women. However if it works out, powerful mature women are a much better option than today’s fashionable Cougar. Many forget that the Cougar is a predator. You are not an equal in the Cougar’s eyes. You are prey. Your youthful sex drive is knowingly being taken advantage of, often ending with teary eyed trips to the clinic or paternity suits. The last thing you want is to find yourself on Maury. This is not a problem with the

demographic you are chasing.

While this is normal, it will not pass.

Lucky for you, you are living at a time when women are more frequently reaching the upper echelon of the legal field.

However, there is still considerable amount of room for more women at the top, and it is your duty as an individual with a taste for powerful women to assist in breaking down gender barriers. Just think, if a 1 to 1 ratio of male to female partners actually materialized on Bay Street, you’d find yourself as happy as Hefner. Good luck!

on wowing, don’t forget to kneel for the meal. Taking the time to lick the bean is like giving yourself the key to the city.

Go down chief – faster than Bear Sterns..

Everybody can take the naughtiness to the next level, and if the thunder isn’t down under, you gotta make up for it in extra effort. Best of luck Erik..

Dear Dr. Valencia, I recently consummated a relationship with a pretty young doctor that I have been dating for a while. In my nervousness to guarantee her the time of her life, I used copious amounts of viagara. I now worry that I can never live up to my performance of that night unless I continue to juice. Help!

- Edgar Eager

- Erik Everhard Dear Erik, Your fear is unfounded. You need no juice to be the swordsman of her (or more likely your) dreams. Continuing the juice will only lead to the same problem that regular ecstasy users face in diminishing returns. This story ends with your steel sabre more resembling a limber garden hose. You should have enough natural juice, but alas if you don’t, eat four Brazil nuts before bed and when you wake up every day.

Those fucking things are like natural viagra. Don’t fuck with shark-fin soup or seal penis or any other despicable witchdoctor/eastern “medicine” method- only Brazil nuts. If that doesn’t work out, duct tape and popsicle sticks should do the trick.

Further, the firmness of your Hogan isn’t the only factor in exceeding your physician’s expectations. If you plan

Dear Dr. Valencia, What is the appropriate thank you after an OCI? Over-the-pants HJ? Or, in this economy, is something more intimate required?

Dear Edgar, The appropriate thank you “gesture” depends on either the level of compensation provided to a first year associate, or your desire for placement in that firm. Dealing with the latter, swing for the fences if you know you want the job.

Now with that said you’ll need to save something for the end of articling. If that sweet ass is old hat by the time hire-back decision making comes around you may find yourself fucked…or not so much… or at least not hired. What I’m saying is temper your approach as to what the interviewer is expecting. If you think a gesture of this nature is unexpected, than yes maybe an over-the-pants HJ or an “old-fashioned” may be just fine. If you find yourself eye to eye with Charlie Sheen, then you may need to bust out the congress of the crow.

If you aren’t sure what you want to do or which firm you work for, you should go by starting salary. If that number is under 100K over-the-pants HJ, 100K HJ, between 105 and 120 something a bit more “grateful”, NY level salary – prepare for full submission. Just remember, times are tough and you’ve got student loans to pay off. Don’t be coy, grasp that opportunity like a shake weight and land that summer position. Good luck Edgar.

22

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

DIVERSIONS

The Mysterious Case of the Unused Locker Someone has abandoned a locker. Think of the property law implications!

W

By Leo Elias (2L)

e don’t talk much about our locker partners. We begrudge them, avoid eye contact with them, passiveaggressively leave notes for them, share awkward conversations them claiming that we have to dash to class, and maybe, just maybe, like them.

We have reached agreements; the top/ bottom split has become so commonplace that its mention no longer elicits any thoughts of a law student’s sexual proclivity. We have reached solutions; the storing of two coats, 14 books, 2 lunchboxes and a bike helmet in a cramped space have resulted in many creative Tetris-ian arrangements. And, occasionally, we have come to conflict. Particularly near exam time.

But what if we had a way to escape our locker assignments? What if we could shake off the shackles of this enforced pairing reminiscent of a bygone adolescence when drinking was done to excess, make-outs were always regretted, and no one understood subject matter discussed in class. No, not O-Week, high school.

There is, of course, the standard approach of avoiding sharing a locker: non-participation. These folks are the ones that allow their partner free reign over the contested locker in a beautifully

passive-partially-aggressive attempt to remove oneself from the game. I have thought, on occasion, what would happen if both parties did that? Surely, one would call dibs. Surely, one would lay his claim on his newfound land and be blest in thus discovering.It seems not.

Through careful journalistic research this reporter has uncovered that two parties have both exercised a non-participation option resulting in a détente of unused locker-ness. You heard me. I have uncovered an unused locker. After mentioning the unused-ness of their locker to the parties, neither seemed enthused.

Why would they? Each of them, after a year of school, has built a fully-integrated rut from which they do not wish to stray.

This means it’s up for grabs.

Barring any annoying “what is property” questions from Jim Phillips, I have decided that it is for sale and I am the sales broker. Opening bid is $100 for the rest of this year. I recommend splitting it with your current locker partner, since, after all, both of you will then have your own locker. $50 for total convenience! Remember, those huge winter coats are just around the corner! Bids may be submitted to Leo at leonard.elias@utoronto.ca.

Any complaints about the legality of this proposition should be forwarded to aaron.rankin@utoronto.ca because he was actually the brains behind this whole thing. Not me. I swear.

Great mentors require great students.

That’s why we look for smart, motivated students who relish the opportunity to receive invaluable exposure, guidance and mentoring as they contribute to our firm and clients.

Learn more at oslerstudent.com Osler, Hoskin & Harcourt LLP

Toronto Montréal Calgary Ottawa New York

ultravires.ca OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

23

DIVERSIONS

UV Whiskey Review | Bourbon Elijah Wood “Tastes Like Honesty”

The inaugural Ultra Vires review of whiskey. 2 Bottles, 3 dudes, 1 biddy and an average weight of 150lbs. Who will emerge victorious?

N

By Drew Valentine (2L)

ot being sure if we have been watching too much Mad Men, or whether having a taste for fine drinks will have some career benefit, Ultra Vires has decided to start reviewing whiskey. The rules are as follows: The drinks must be of the same class (bourbon, Scotch, Rye, Irish,

etc.). The drinks must be in the same price range. Drinks must be compared side by side in the same way (shots, neat, etc.).

We decided to start off this new journalistic endeavor with Bourbon whiskey.

Bourbon is an American whiskey distilled form corn. Many believe Bourbon must be distilled in Bourbon County, Kentucky to classify as Bourbon.

However many Tennessee whiskeys are also considered Bourbon for interna-

tional trade and contest purposes. Jack Daniels is widely considered to be a Bourbon (including under Canadian law and NAFTA), but it is not made in Kentucky, but Tennessee.

We chose two bottles in the 35 dollar range, sold at the LCBO. We decided to have four rounds, appropriate for Bourbon: shots, on the rocks with a cigar, mixed with ginger-ale, and neat.

Finally we put together a brilliant team of testers with excellent taste in

Bourbon. However they could show up, so we were stuck with the UV editor Matt Brown, the lovely Danielle Glatt, the always exciting Andrew Robertson, and this writer. I should say at the outset that this was a terrific idea with terrible execution. I think the average weight of the group must have fallen around 150 pounds, which doesn’t bode well for a team of four about to drink two bottles of whiskey.

Here are the results:

Bulleit Bourbon- Frontier Whiskey – 45%

Elijah Craig – 12 Year old Bourbon – 47%

Shots: Winner – Bulleit Bourbon Quote of the round – “Maybe I was born this way. Lady Gaga preached about that” – on the topic of baldness.

Shots of the Bulleit came with an upfront sweetness and hints of vanilla in the aftertaste. On the new law school grading scale we gave this shot an H for drinkability, and an HH for smoothness.

Elijah Craig went down like “a slap from your grandfather” according to one of our testers. This was partly to do with MB’s exceeding large pours. We gave Elijah Craig an H for drinkability and an H for smoothness.

On the rocks with a cigar: Winner – Elijah Craig Quote of the round – “I’m more about ancestral anger.”

On the rocks, the Bulleit’s corn flavor really came out in an almost syrupy way.

The complexity was dense but not terribly nuanced.

Very Heavy.

The Elijah Craig had a caramel like flavor, without the heaviness present in the Bulleit. The complexity was much more nuanced than the Bulleit, but not as over-bearing.

This may be attributed to the older age of this whiskey.

With Canada Dry ginger-ale Winner – Elijah Craig Quote of the Round – “… if you’re stupid enough to marry me without a prenup.” Honorable mention – “I sleep with Matt Brown for his assets” – not Danielle.

Neat Winner – No decision Quote of the round – “Elijah Wood tastes like honesty.” No doubt this was supposed to be “Elijah Craig” instead.

There was some debate as to how well the Bulleit mixed with the ginger. Matt and AR enjoyed the sweetness, Matt calling it sweet, but not Long Island sweet. DV and Ms. Glatt found the sweetness too much. Glatt called it “a bitch drink”.

The Elijah Craig’s higher alcohol content “cut the sweetness of the gingerale” according to Glatt.

All agreed that Elijah Craig paired very well with the ginger-ale.

The flavor was described as “nutty” and “brings out the dance moves”. There was very little dexterity remaining in the tasters palette at this point in the round.

MB gave Bulleit neat two squinty eyes.

The Elijah Craig was described as “real as shit” and “the experience of a lifetime”. Apparently there was very little tasting that was occurring at this point, just drinking…

In the end Bulleit was great for shooting, and people that like the sweetness of bourbon. Elijah Craig was amazing on rocks and mixed well with sweet mixers due to the higher alcohol content.

UV would like to extend an offer to

our fellow U of T Law student to join us for the next edition of The UV Review of Whiskey, in which we’ll be drinking single malt scotch. If there are any of you with a taste for the delicious peat flavored whiskey, please get in touch.

24

OCTOBER 19, 2011

ULTRA VIRES

ultravires.ca

DIVERSIONS

UV Eats Out| Shanghai Cowgirl

Garage Band Vibe at “Rock ‘n’ Roll Diner”

By Drew Valentine (2L)

W

as pub night near Queen West? Need a late night bite?

Would you like a side of Joy Division to go with your meal?

Then I have the spot for you. Shanghai Cowgirl near Queen and Bathurst is the hit! I absolutely love this spot that calls itself “Toronto’s rock n roll diner”.

This place is set up in the classic diner fashion - standard orange booths, linoleum topped metal-rimmed tables, and counter with stainless steel fixed barstools.

What gives Shanghai Cowgirl its rock n roll vibe is the art and tunes. Generally you’ll find a variety of Playdead Cult works on the walls, but if there is an exhibit happening you may find unique works instead.

Last time I was there, a rock photo exhibit was up and I had David Coverdale staring down my tuna-melt. The back patio is also amazing on summer evenings coupled with a pitcher of Amsterdam Blonde.

The food is pretty standard diner with some twists. The trailer trash sushi, which is grilled chicken on a bun with wasabi mayo and watercress is surprisingly

refreshing. The ghetto chicken is amazing if you dig on gravy covered fried deliciousness on a mound of mash potatoes.

The eggs benedict are incredible and the burgers are always perfectly undercooked. Rehashing these favorites of mine is seriously making me rethink me recent switch to veggie/pescatarian, although the abovementioned tuna melt, served open faced on a bagel, or the triple decker grilled cheese with havarti, jalapeno, and avocado will certainly suffice to keep me on the wagon. Other options include various Asian noodle dishes, perogies with a number of toppings, and salads to suit many tastes.

The joint is next to the Bovine Sex Club, a small rock venue/bar with one of the most creative exteriors on Queen West that makes it hard to miss. Shanghai Cowgirl seems to be affiliated with the Bovine which lends to the garage band on tour vibe of the joint.

I personally love the heavy black make-up and tattoos of the waitresses; it reminds me of San Francisco’s grittier parts. But fear not, suits get the same smile and friendly vibe as leather. I’m giving this spot 4 out of 4 Jim Beam shots for greasy spoon excellence.

L S