Ultra Vires Vol 13 Issue 6: 2012 March

Where Did U of T Law leave its Coat?

Whisk(e)y Review Part IV

Ryan MacIsaac uncovers what became of our unique heraldry

Canadian patriot Drew Valentine returns to sample some of our nation’s finest rye

ULTRA VIRES Features, Page 17

First Edition

March 28, 2011 Vol. XIII, no. VI ultravires.ca

Features, Page 22

Law Ballin’

The Independent Student Newspaper Of The University Of Toronto Faculty Of Law

Albert Wins Presidency Will focus SLS on effective service delivery and improve communication with students

A

By Jessica Lam (2L)

s the next SLS President, Albert Lin promises to improve service delivery and long-term student benefits. His vision includes creating a comprehensive career advisory directory, establishing a Communications Officer, and ensuring more student consultation before policy changes take place.

“We’ve made headway already,” says Lin in reference to setting up a career learning plan for students interested in public interest work. “The grant was approved last week.” The plan is part of Lin’s larger idea of compiling a career directory of alumni profiles that list their field of work and contact information so that students can approach past grads with career questions.

Lin also hopes to improve communication between administration and students. The role of the Communications Officer would be to act as a liaison between the SLS, student concerns, and administration. “It’s not about singling out responses between one member and another. It’s about tracking a metric,” says Lin. “There would be a time stamp on when a question comes in and when the response comes out.”

According to Lin, there needs to be more open communication and broader discussion with the student body in general. For example, although the proposal to spend the SLS surplus was approved at last week’s referendum, Lin says that there needs to be further student consultation before any binding changes are made.

Lin recognizes that his task as president next year will be challenging. “We’re pushing for much more student provision.” He says that on the side of academic reform, a major issue will be to address the proposed changes over administrative law in the 1L curriculum. Next year will also be a period of transition to prepare students for the new building.

Exuberant law students pack the dfloor during Law Ball despite “Call Me Maybe” only being played once.

CARY FERGUSON PHOTO

THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER?

Incoming Editor in Chief Patrick Hartford is getting ready for the 2012-2013 year. Please contact us if you have any feedback about UV. Your suggestions will be given serious consideration. Please email ultravires@utoronto.ca if you are interested in any of the following positions or if you have any questions: • Production Editor (experience with InDesign an asset) • Section Editor (News, Features, Opinion, or Diversions) • Writer/Columnist • Photographer and/or Graphic Designer

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

ULTRA VIRES

LETTERS

Everyone Just Look at Me One Last Time

By Matt Brown, Editor-In-Chief (2L)

Y

ou know how this whole thing works by now: I spend most of my time seriously undermining UV just so I can get cheap laughs on this page at its expense. I mean, stick with what works, right? It’s how I run literally every other aspect of my life.

Previous editors got congratulatory

emails from firms. “Thanks for your hard work,” they said, “what a great year.” I know this because those emails are still in the UV email account. Mocking me.

So, ya, firms: since the UV email account doesn’t seem to working feel free to send them to my personal email. An e-card wouldn’t hurt either. Thanks for the great year!

What’s funniest is that UV seems to soldier on despite my best efforts. To this day, six issues deep, when people tell me

they have an “article” for UV what lands in my mailbox is generally some serious thing about LRW. Or republicans. Don’t you people read?

I guess what it shows is that one person, no matter how determined, has trouble shifting the course of entrenched institutions. Was that accidentally about Obama? This place is really getting to me.

As I ride out into the sunset, I can honestly say that this place is in good hands.

Although incoming Editor-in-Chief Pat-

ULTRA VIRES Editor-in-Chief News Editor Features Editor Opinion Editor Diversions Editor 1L Content Editor Production Editors Business Manager Web & Photo Editor Copyeditors

Matt Brown Jessica Lam Patrick Hartford Andrew Robertson Drew Valenine Josh Mandryk Bhuvana Sankaranarayanan Todd Brayer Giselle Chin Jonathan Bega Cary Ferguson Annie Tayyab Andrea Wong

rick Hartford is a perennial fucking disappointment, 1L Kristen Pennington really seems to have what it takes. Her article returns the phrase “muffin madness” to it’s rightful place as obvious, but hilarious, sexual innuendo.

And she may have thrown in some poop jokes.

So, whether I’m here or not, next year’s UV is going to be just fine. And let’s be honest, besides UV what else do I have to do?

Ultra Vires is an editorially independent publication. We are open to contributions which reflect diverse points of view, and our contents do not necessarily reflect the views of the Faculty of Law, the Students’ Law Society, or the editorial board.

Errors If you find errors in Ultra Vires, please email ultravires@utoronto.ca

Advertising Advertising inquiries should be sent to Business Manager Jonathan Bega at ultravires@utoronto.ca

Submissions If you have an article submission or a tip for us, please contact us at ultravires@utoronto.ca. Ultra Vires reserves the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity.

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

3

NEWS

Great Calves for a Great Cause Students and professors wear man-sized heels in order to raise over $6500 for the White Ribbon Campaign, which works to end violence against women.

I

By Ben Iscoe (1L)

’m an idiot. For any who have had a conservation with me about any substantive legal material this statement is evident. However, the current reference to my idiocy is in regards to my knowledge of women.

Let me preface this by saying that I have an arsenal of excuses, including, but not limited to; 1. I’m the middle of three boys.

2. I went to a single sex high school.

3. I may sometimes call a woman “dude.”

4. I did not enter my first substantial relationship until well into my twenties.

Perhaps the latter two are more effect, than cause, but needless to say the ‘XX’ chromosome is foreign to me. This was clearly demonstrated back in September.

One lunch Michelle, the co-organizer of Walk a Day, just came back from an interview and mentioned that her feet hurt from having to walk around in high heels.

Being the knuckle dragging Neanderthal that I am, I said something to the effect of ‘stop complaining’ (my words were more polite, but still equally as stupid)1 This off handed moronic comment of mine2 led to a bet between the two of us that I could not walk an entire academic day in high heels without ever once taking them off (stakes were a round at the next pub night).

We began discussing this bet to classmates who liked the idea.

This quickly snowballed into the idea for Walk a Day in Her Shoes.

We unfortunately found out that we were paralleling an international fundraiser called Walk a Mile, where men literally walk a mile in women’s shoes.

We got in contact with the White Ribbon Campaign who organize the event and received instant enthusiasm from them (information about White Ribbon below).

Coincidentally, at around the same

time a classmate informed us of her work at the Barbra Schlifer Clinic, a legal clinic that provides legal representation, counselling and language interpretation in over 80 languages to women who are trying to build lives free from violence.

Appreciating that some serious arm twisting would be required to make male members of the faculty want to walk in heels for a day; we realized we needed to recruit some high profile figures.

Our first two targets, Professors Chapman and Alarie required little persuasion (the latter actually tracked down a pair of high heels within ten minutes of Michelle and me leaving his office).

By the time March 8th, had come and passed, we had 45 participants who all shared one common sentiment… spending a day in high heel shoes is painful.

Dear god!

How on earth can anyone walk around in high heels day in/day out?

The only answer I got to this question is that “you learn to tolerate the pain?”

Really? That’s it?

Despite the pain, when all was said and done the team was able to garner support from over 250 sponsors, raising more than $6,500.

Michelle and I had a ton of fun building this fundraiser from our initial bet (which I won!) and were both overwhelmed by the universal enthusiasm.

Thanks to Dave Bach, who helped us build the event, Peter Flynn for being our top fundraiser (collecting over $900) and all those students, staff and faculty who made this an incredible first go of what will hopefully become an annual event.

The White Ribbon Campaign The White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) is the largest effort in the world of men working to end violence against women.

It started in Toronto Canada.

It is now in over sixty countries, where campaigns are led by both men and women, with a focus on raising awareness and educating men and boys on gender equity,

respect and healthy relationships.

White Ribbon Campaign is the only national organization working on the prevention of violence against women by positively engaging young men and boys, educators, parents and communities on the role and responsibility they can play.

WRC has a specific focus on investing in youth and harnessing the positive roles that parents, coaches, educators and community leaders play in promoting gender equality, respect, and healthy relationships.

WRC’s grass roots approach inspires individuals and communities to action, while supporting them with the necessary outreach tools.

White Ribbon Campaign receives no core funding from any level of government.

It relies solely on individual and corporate fundraising along with special events like Walk A Day in Her Shoes to fund its work.

I’ve already conceded that I’m an idiot… move on.

1

2

Ibid

PHOTO by CARY FERGUSON

It’s unclear who is pulling those shoes off better

Section 7 Prevails in Bedford Case

By Todd Brayer (2L)

M

any of Canada's anti-prostitution laws violate the Charter of Rights and Freedoms and are thus illegal, says the Ontario Court of Appeal in Bedford v AG Canada (2012 ONCA 186) in a decision Monday.

The majority, partially upholding Justice Himel's groundbreaking 2010 decision in Bedford v AG Canada, held that sections 210 and 212(1)(j) of the Criminal Code violated Bedford's section 7 Charter right. The result is that sex workers can hire drivers, staff and bodyguards for protection and may work in brothels. On the other hand, the Court was clear that exploitation remains illegal, as does soliciting customers on the street.

Responding to the government's argu-

ment that prostitution is a "matter of personal choice that inevitably places the respondents at risk," and the choice to engage in sex work breaks the "causal chain between the added risk of harm and the criminal prohibitions that limit the [places where sex work can be performed,]" the majority said,"[This submission] implies that those who choose to engage in the sex trade are for that reason not worthy of the same constitutional protection as those who engage in other dangerous, but legal enterprises."

"Parliament has chosen not to criminalize prostitution.

“In the eyes of the criminal law, prostitution is as legal as any other non-prohibited commercial activity. A claim that a criminal law prohibition increases the risk of physical harm to persons who engage in prostitution must, for the purpose

of the security of the person analysis, be examined in the same way as any other claim that a criminal law prohibition increases the risk of physical harm to persons engaged in any other lawful commercial activity."

The dissent would have also alTERRI-JEAN BEDFORD lowed open solicitaProfessional Domination. trix and challenger to The Court susCanada’s prostitution laws. pended the declaration of invalidity for 12 months to give Parliament a chance to redraft the offending provisions, though there is an almost certain chance that this case

will proceed to the Supreme Court in the mean time as both sides said publicly before the decision was released that they would appeal if they lost. Prime Minister Harper has also spoken in support of continuing the status quo.

This case arose in part because of the paradoxical situation in Canada where prostitution itself is a legal activity, but many of the activities surrounding it are not. Thus sex workers such as Mrs. Bedford could not hire bodyguards, drivers or other helpers to ensure that they do not become victim to a violent customer.

There have been considerable highprofile cases regarding violence against street prostitutes in Canada, including the Robert Pickton case in BC and missing women particularly throughout northern BC and Alberta, as well as in many major metropolitan areas.

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

ULTRA VIRES

NEWSY OPINIONS

A Perspective on the Niqab Ban Face to face contact is a fundamental part of our interpersonal interactions

T

By Stan Giesbrecht (1L)

he Muslim Law Students Association presented a panel discussion on the recent banning of wearing face veils at Canadian citizenship ceremonies. There were two panelists. Farzana Hassan, a spokesperson for the Muslim Canadian Congress, supported the ban. Brenda Cossman, a law professor at U of T, opposed the ban.

Hassan is pushing for an outright ban of the niqab. She sees it a symbol of oppression and patriarchy.

In responding to feminists who see the wearing of the niqab as a women’s right to choose Hassan questions whether the choice to wear one can be seen as feminist if it stems from a patriarchal system.

The niqab is so at odds with gender equality that society and the state should not permit it. Foreign women who choose to become Canadians must reject the niqab in order to increase gender equality.

Cossman, who is white, has a very different view. She feels women should be permitted to make their own choices and that the ban in discussion is an attempt to control women. She considered the ban from a colonialist perspective. In the past, writers have justified colonization because of the barbaric practices that have been prohibited.

One such practice was the burning of women alive on their husband’s funeral pyre so as to reduce the number of widows in some parts of India.

However, Cossman stated that the prevalence of this practice before colonialist intervention was wildly exaggerated by those who used it as a justification for the subjugation by European powers. She stated that this was a misguided case of “white men saving brown women from brown men.”

Cossman went on to say that the current ban was yet another attempt of society and the state to control women’s bodies and sexuality.

It should be no one else’s business whether a woman wanted to wear a niqab or fishnets.

I support the ban on the niqab at Canadian citizenship ceremonies, but my reasons for doing so are somewhat different than those of Hassan.

I think that face to face contact is so fundamental to the functioning of Western society that it is entirely appropriate for Canada to require this in many contexts. While we zealously protect many freedoms, no freedom or right is absolute.

No one can live in isolation and everyone must compromise if we are to establish harmony in our social order. While I am not religious, most of my family are.

I come from a conservative Christian (Mennonite) heritage.

Many of their beliefs are protected, but some are not. For example their belief against personal photos must yield to state requirements for photos on drivers licenses and passports.

In enacting the ban, Immigration and Citizenship Minister Jason Kenney stated “this is really a matter of pure principle which is at the very heart of our identity and our values with respect to openness and equality.”

The ability to see another’s face is fundamental to how we identify and communicate with each other. Many emotions are portrayed on the face, such as happiness, sadness, anger and deception.

Therefore, it is not possible to truly understand someone if their face is covered.

The more people do their business with their faces concealed, the greater the lack of understanding between people.

This will inevitably lead to more problems and conflict within our society.

While I dislike excessive state involvement in our personal lives, some involvement is required for society to function efficiently. Some personal beliefs must yield in order for all of us to get along in harmony.

I do not accept that the ban has anything to do with race or gender at a fundamental level. While the prohibition will

PHOTOS COURTESY of STAN GIESBRECHT

Stan Giescrecht is a scientist. He made many empirical and ontological studies regarding this issue prior to generating his informed opinion on this subject. disproportionately affect one gender, this is incidental. Many activities that are banned will affect some groups more than others. This is not inherently discriminatory if the ban applies to everyone. Men cannot (and should not) be able to hide their faces at an event as important as a citizenship ceremony and so it cannot be said that the current ban is discriminatory based on gender.

I strongly reject the notion that the niqab ban is about controlling women’s bodies and sexuality.

The human face, including the woman’s face, is about so much more than one’s sexuality.

It is a very important part of non-sexual interaction, and the inability to see another’s face can lead to lack of communication and understanding.

I also reject the notion that this has any relevant connection to colonialism.

This is about people who choose to come to Canada. Canada is saying that in order to be accepted here, you must accept these standards. It is not about Canada arbitrarily imposing these standards on foreigners.

This article is not about the broader discussion on whether there should be a general ban on the niqab in all public spaces, as called for by Hassan. I think that the issues there are much more complicated than in the present case.

In short, I support the current niqab ban because face to face contact is such a intrinsic and fundamental part of our interpersonal interactions.

Government should do what is necessary to promote a harmonious society. It will be a sad day when our government is put off from doing the right thing merely because white women are trying to save brown women from white men.

Barbara Kay’s Twisted Feminism Kay’s “From Women’s Rights to Feminists Wrongs” misunderstands feminism

W

By Mallorie Malone (1L)

hen a friend pointed out that National Post columnist Barbara Kay would be giving a talk at U of T entitled “From Women’s Rights to Feminists Wrongs: Contempt for Men in Contemporary Society,” I was immediately intrigued.

Sponsored by the groups Canadian Association for Equality and Fathers Are Capable Too, the talk was billed as a discussion of how the feminist movement had created a gender-biased family law system in Canada that disproportionately punished men. I was confused, as it was my understanding that feminism aimed to deconstruct all gender stereo-

types. This seemed like the very thing that feminist scholars would oppose. Despite Kay’s hyperbolic history, I wanted to hear her argument. Where, exactly, had we gone wrong?

Kay’s argument left a great deal to be desired. Much of her talk consisted of sad stories and anecdotes about a family law system that privileged mothers in custody battles and spousal support decisions.

To be sure, this is an issue that many in the legal community find alarming, including Justice Harvey Brownstone. But how is this feminism’s fault?

Kay’s thesis consisted of exactly two propositions: first, she was not “womanbashing” but in fact “feminist-bashing,” and secondly “feminists believe men and women are absolutely equal except where women are superior,” i.e. as mothers.

Case closed.

I had so many questions. Who had she been reading? Why did Kay think that

feminists believe women are superior parents? Which feminists ever said that womanhood entailed this essential and superior mothering capability? While feminist thought is as divided as any other discipline, they are almost universally united in undermining the very gender stereotypes that would lead to such a conclusion.

Clearly, Kay fundamentally misunderstands what feminism is.

The gender bias she complained disadvantaged men’s claims in family court is just the other side of the sexist coin that feminists stand in opposition to. Indeed, if Kay truly seeks to address the legitimate men’s issues she spoke about, she should approach feminist lawyers, scholars and advocates as allies rather than enemies.

But more troubling than her message was her audience. The room was filled with mostly middle-aged men who had

clearly experienced terrible divorces and bitter custody battles. Some of the men I spoke with had not seen their children in years, and it seemed to me like they were looking for support and answers.

While Kay certainly supported them, her so-called answers failed to offer any real guidance.

So, what’s the moral of the story here? I don’t really know. I left feeling frustrated and disappointed. Frustrated because of Kay’s misrepresentation of an important political and academic movement and her unwillingness to engage in reasoned debate. Disappointed because instead of offering her audience a helpful framework with which to approach a legitimate social problem, she merely offered them an ideological witch hunt.

Mallorie is a proud feminist and member of the Feminist Law Students’ Association, but these views are entirely her own.

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

5

NEWS

U of T Dodgeball Honours Us All Team captain takes us through the painstaking strategy that won the glory

By Emma Constante (2L)

Pre-Game 1: Strategy formed. Everybody throw at once, aiming at same target.

Pick best players and get them out first.

Game 1: Easy win. Everyone but Charlie left standing. Charlie vows never to let that happen again.

Game 2: Charlie and Ginger left at the end. Ginger is risk-averse - hides in the back corner. Charlie shoots away while Ginger keeps feeding him ammunition in the form of squishy balls... Finally Ginger works up the courage to throw and aims too high. Opponent tries to catch but slips out of his hands. Game over.

Charlie books his Tommy-John surgery.

Pre-Semis game: we decide to experiment. Albert throws first, then Adam storms in with his crazy good accuracy. They’re a one-two punch team that is working perfectly, until Adam gets skinned by a sniper after one of his throws. Suddenly Albert Lin is the last person standing. DJ Khaled “all I do is win, win, win” comes over the bench.

Albert puts out his cigarette. This means war. After a couple of attempts, he plans a grand attack that involves simultaneously throwing two balls at once - twice in a row - but unfortunately could not dodge a quick one while carrying four balls at once. Luckily that game did not

matter.

We’re in the semis. Now it’s best 2/3.

We don’t lose a game, but they take a bit longer because there’s always one girl left standing who throws incredibly shallow, impossible-to-catch balls and then runs hides in the back. Charlie has no choice but to keep launching them into the deep corners of the court. Finally he gets her out. He gets back on the phone and moves his surgery two days forward.

Now we’re finals against our friends and colleages.

Ginger grabs water before the game and suddenly finds herself in a prefinal reconsideration of strategy / secret meeting near the water fountain with Adam and Albert. The question: Should we try to get Charlie Hatt out first, or are we risking too much because he might catch our throws? It’s a tough call. In the end we decide to keep going for Charlie Hatt since the longer he stays in, the more people he will get out. After that, it will be Lane or Reilly.

“Quack, Quack, Quack...”

Final game: Charlies are ringers and both teams know it. Each of them dodge three balls in the opening seconds. Joanna fearlessly plants herself in the dead centre of the court and begins to fire away.

Lane doesn’t stand still for a second. He’s running fearlessly up to the centre court line, whipping balls, and then cursing in full volume every time he misses. Suddenly the ref decides to participate. The

PHOTO COURTESY of INTERMURAL ULTIMATE TEAM

The U of T Law ultimate team won many games by default this semester. opponents’ strategy differs significantly from ours in that they randomize the order of their targets. Suddenly Ginger finds herself dodging 5 balls at once. So does Albert. Both survive. Charlie M. and Adam keep firing away and slowly take down their targets while Lauren continues to distract the opponents with her pirouette dodges and sheer beauty. Becky and Lauren keep coming out of nowhere and firing pitches from the edges of the

court.

Becky makes a steller catch - I forget who threw it but I remember it was truly fantastic. In the final game, Reilly dodges and tries to catch a ball on the floor, but it just barely slips away.

Emily was the last person standing on the other team. Eventually, we get her out. Victory, T-shirts and beers at the Red Room follow.

Couldn’t have been better!

Aaron Rankin Exits Aaron Rankin reflects on the tumultuous year behind us and looks forward to the challenges ahead

A

By Jessica Lam (2L)

s the year comes to an end, SLS President Aaron Rankin sat down with UV to talk about the highs and lows of his reign and his hopes for the future of the law school.

Biggest Challenge: Promoting enough discussion with students in regards to changes in curriculum or academic policy.

While Rankin says that the administration always has the faculty’s best interest in mind, he said that the energy devoted to convincing professors about a certain policy reform means that the process has felt finished to the administration before students were informed and consulted with. “[On grade reform], the challenge was to promote enough discussion so that students were satisfied or could come to whatever view they were going to come to, which is more challenging when the administration has already made up its mind.”

Best Moment as SLS President: Seeing SLS representatives take ownership of an idea that brought them to the SLS

and plan a year-long strategy that includes consultation and research.

“So much more gets done that way.”

Worst Moment as SLS President: Realizing that the U of T law versus Osgoode basketball tournament has historically been co-ed and this year was a men’s-only event. “It wasn’t even close to an adequate substitute.”

Advice for next year’s SLS President: Open communication with the administration, faculty and students.

“Open communication early and keep it open.”

Any endorsements? Lips sealed.

“It produces the most accountability and

creativity in terms of platform ideas.”

Goals for the law school: Making clinical education mandatory but perhaps with a U of T twist, so that the requirement could be satisfied by a SUYRP for students who are more interested in academia and not practice.

Rankin also says that serious thought needs to be given to the third year of law school.

Is it a valuable vision of learning or “whether the old mantra of third year of where they bore you to death remains true.”

Other goals include the new building and maintaining an open and constructive relationship between administration and students.

Word Association Lightning Round: SLS – Team Your girlfriend – lovely Mayo’s Muffin Madness – manic Ultra Vires – hilarious Justin Nasseri – reliable U of T Law – phenomenal Clerking - exciting 3L - nostalgic

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

ULTRA VIRES

OPINION

Listen to student feedback on Legal Reseach and Writing

By Katherine Georgious (1L)

I

For More, See “Letter” on Page 8

Is Bora really all that?

B

By Ash-Lei Lewandoski (1L)

ora gets it all: the library we spend too much time in; the bust everyone uses as a meeting point; and a damn awesome name. Plus I won’t even mention the whole Chief Justice of the Supreme Court thing. But what about Cecil? Cecil Augustus Wright to be precise, and Caesar to those around him. Did you know in our daily travels through Flavelle, hiding in the shadows is Cecil’s head? No not his literal head, but rather his bust – just like Bora.

If you knew this already then humour me for a few moments while I opine on the lack of love for Cecil. Anyway, it’s not like you want to read torts right now. No one does.

So what’s the deal with Cecil?

Well if you are amongst the fortunate to be in Professor Dubber’s Administrative Law, then you recognize Caesar from the photo of himself, Bora Laskin, and John Willis that keeps popping up in our class slides.

According to my limited Google research, which ultimately just led me back to the U of T Law website, Caesar championed reforms in the legal education system by advocating the modern day law school that focused on full-time legal education rather than the apprentice-style model persistent at the time.

It was Caesar, Bora, and Willis* who left Osgoode in 1949 and came to U of T where they transformed our fine faculty into Ontario’s first professional university law school. Caesar was Dean for close to twenty years and he stayed with the university until his death.

But really this history in a minute moment isn’t my reason for writing.

My true dismay is that Cecil Augustus Wright has a bust and he doesn’t get nearly as much attention as Bora’s Head.

Bora left the faculty for other things, but Caesar stayed – shouldn’t that count for something? When we all came to Flavelle as wide-eyed newly admitted 1Ls we were told of Bora’s Head. It’s the quick reference for an easy meeting place.

It’s the location of all ticket sales for the latest cause/event we over-achieving students are trying to promote to fellow peers. Heck I even saw some random tourist take a photo of it one day.

Like Bora, why can’t Cecil’s bust get an equivalent level affection on most days and good natured vandalism on Halloween?

We don’t need to call it Cecil’s Bust.

That name won’t work again until the hipsters reclaim it for their children.

But we could just say meet at Caesar’s, which actually makes it sound like we are meeting to drink Caesars. Who doesn’t enjoy the inference of alcohol in our daily events?

So I propose we relocate Caesar’s bust out of the shadows of the Upper Rotunda and to a location of the building where he will be appreciated for our utilitarian gathering purposes.

Bora’s already claimed the skylight portions outside the doors of his namesake library, so Caesar just needs to find a good new home. I am open to

suggestions if you have them.

Although I am rather impartial to the junction in the basement that heads to the hallway to MCR. Many of us naturally meet there post-class already, and this way we could also say hello to Caesar every morning en route to class?

That is guaranteed to push him past Bora on the popularity scale and give Caesar the love he deserves. * Willis just sounds way better in the sentence rather than calling John by his first name.

PHOTO by CARY FERGUSON

Will someon please meet me at Ceasar’s Head?

LEARN TO LEAD

YOUR PHONE, OR GO TO OUR STUDENT WEBSITE.

n the February issue of Ultra Vires, I was rather surprised to see that the front page had an article titled, “Alarie: LRW Feedback Positive.” The article states that the evaluations the administration received from the 1L class was “very good feedback” and that the course was “highly rated.” My surprise stemmed from the fact that I thought the vast majority of 1Ls openly disliked the course, given how often people around me complained about on a regular basis last semester. In fact, when I asked one of my peers to respond to that headline, she cried out, “Lies!”

There are numerous possible explanations for the discrepancy in the feedback Professor Alarie received and my understanding of the 1L sentiment for the course. Those who dislike a course are always going to be far more vocal than those who are indifferent or are content with it. Once a course is completed, students may feel it’s futile to spend their time airing their grievances on a course evaluation form.

It’s also entirely possible that the vast majority of 1L students enjoyed the course, gave the administration positive feedback, and yet whined and moaned about the class due to the fact that we 1Ls just love to complain about everything. Hell, I love complaining so much, I’m doing it as an extracurricular activity right now.

Regardless of the reasons why the administration got the feedback it did; it was very concerning to read about the seeming indifference of the administration to the SLS town hall meeting about LRW and to negative feedback about the course overall. My esteemed colleague/look-a-like-but-notactually Bhuvana Sankaranarayan covered the major issues that came up in the town hall in the previous issue of UV, so I will not regurgitate them here. In summary, the feedback at the town hall was composed mainly, if not entirely, of criticisms of the course and suggestions for improvements.

But in response to being told that the town hall meeting was incredibly negative feedback, it appeared that the administration was almost dismissive towards the meeting as a whole. The quote that motivated me to write this article is when it was said that the meeting was a biased sample because “those who show up [to a town hall] have an axe to grind.”

I attended that town hall. I can assure you all, I have no axe to grind. I can barely use my kitchen knives. I didn’t fail the memo. I thought my TA for the course was stellar (rock on Mike Pal!). I simply thought that there was a lot of room for improvement in the course’s content and structure and went to the town hall to express that. So I don’t particularly appreciate that me, and the 14 or so other students who tried to

Where’s the Love for Cecil?

SCAN TO SEE MORE ON

Open Letter To Faculty

SAME LAW, DIFFERENT FIRM. Love your job at one of the most dynamic legal practices in Canada. Contact our Assistant Director of Student Programs, Leigh-Ann McGowan, at lamcgowan@casselsbrock.com or visit us at students.casselsbrock.com

© 2011-2012 Cassels Brock & Blackwell LLP. All rights reserved. | casselsbrock.com | 416 869 5300

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Please PRINT a hard copy of 1/5/2012 1:45:34 PM the file and either FAX it or SCAN and EMAIL it back to

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

7

OPINION

You Might Not Have Articles by 3L

But the vast majority of you will have articles lined up by the time you graduate. Just don’t panic, don’t check out, and don’t deny that you look dapper in a vest.

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By Dan Bertrand (3L)

ow that I have your attention, here are some tips in case you find yourself in the position, or are searching for a gig outside of the OCI process.

1. Don’t Panic. When I went to the Career Development Office in September, I was told that maybe as many as 1 in 10 of U of T students don’t have an articling position lined up by the start of third year. Why does this happen? For any number of reasons, such as having hard luck, or deciding to pursue a public interest career. Regardless, the vast majority of students have articling lined-up by the time they graduate. Remember you’re at the best damn law school in the country, you’re brilliant, and you’ll do fine.

During the year, I spoke with students from other law schools who hadn’t figured out what they were doing for articling, or whether they wanted to article at all.

Unsurprisingly, U o T’s uber-insular and competitive culture makes the impression that getting an articling position is a do or die imperative, when this is not true. We are an exception to the general legal market. Besides, you can be successful without articling, you can go straight into business, or as Dean Moran is fond of reminding us, you can go to Hollywood and become a screenwriter or producer for popular TV shows such as Dexter.

2. Don’t Check-Out. For many, 3L is the most redundant year of their lives.

Not for those without an articling position. At the start of 3L, I had little experience in the specific field of law I wanted to practice in. So, I volunteered and my resume improved substantially. Keep padding that resume. Don’t get in a rut.

Use your remaining time at law school wisely. Each time you get something substantial added to your resume, you can send an email out to those firms you’ve talked to with an update. Show them you’re a self-starter and a rising star who ought to be recruited before scouted out by a competitor.

3. Be Out, Loud, and Proud in the Labour Market. The most awkward

thing about being a 3L without an articling position is this conversation: Assuming Colleague: “3L eh? I guess you’ve checked out now? Awesome!

Where are you articling?”

3L Without an Articling Position: “Actually... I’m still looking”.

Assuming Colleague: “Oh my god... I’m so sorry.”

3L Without an Articling Position: “Yeah, it’s alright. I don’t have cancer, but you’re still a jerk.”

I had this conversation so many times, without the comeback of course. Don’t let it get you down. Desperation and depression are not attractive qualities, and no one is going to hire you because they feel sorry for you.

4. Tell Everyone you are Looking.

Tell your professors, mentors, family members, friends of friends, and everyone else. You’re no more than seven degrees of separation from a job.

5. Start a LinkedIn Account. So you want someone to see your resume, but you don’t want to actually forward it to them with a cold call? Start a LinkedIn account. People might look you up if they hear your name.

6. Attend CDO events. Yes, the infolectures and meet and greets are artificial, but the CDO is not a cult, they’re here to help you. If you’re not sure whether you should go to an event, just go. In the least you can find out who is not hiring an articling student.

For me, attending the “Articling and Beyond” workshop held in the fall was helpful in that I found out who else was looking for an articling position in 3L. I felt more at ease knowing that I had clandestine allies throughout the student body. I also ran into some U of T alumni articling on Bay Street being proactive for the contingency that they might not get an offer to come back as an associate.

All the more reason to find a good fit in the first place.

7. Be Yourself. Why did you want to be a lawyer? Why did you choose to come to U of T? There are likely good reasons for why you’re still looking for a job. Maybe it’s because you’re honest during interviews, decided not to sell-out, or maybe

PHOTO COURTESY of CARY FERGUSON

Bertrand will use his sexy stubble to fight for the working man you actually haven’t found the right fit yet. What’s worse than not having an articling position? I would say, having one you hate, which is setting you up for a career you hate. Stick to your guns when the battle looks bleak. Read an inspirational biography or poem and rise to the challenge. You can do it!

As for me, I had an articling position lined up with a great firm in the summer of my second year. But, I turned it down

because I really wanted to do something that the firm didn’t offer. After seven months of searching I found my dream job. I will be articling in a well respected union-side labour boutique in Vancouver with a QC as my principal. Afterwards, the plan is for me is to move in-house to be the lawyer for one his clients, a union of 20,000. So yes, it is possible to enter third year without a job lined up and to find a job that’s right for you.

Emily Orchard: Great CDO Director or Greatest?

Emily is a bright light in the admin and a passionate advocate for U of T students

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By Drew Valentine (2L)

here is no more stressful period of the 2L year than OCIs. Many of us not realizing what we are in for are desperate for as much guidance as we can get. Thankfully we have Emily Orchard, the Director of Career Services with the Career Development Office.

Emily is from Toronto.

She went to undergrad at Western.

Law school at U of T. She worked in private practice before

joining the faculty and has worked with the CDO for about two years. She notes that as a person that didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do professionally, she hoped each new job would be fulfilling, and the CDO is the perfect combination of what she hopes the job will be and what she brings to the table.

When asked about what she likes in her job, her response is emblematic of her CDO persona – she immediately focuses on the students.

“I love seeing how accomplished the students are. You guys are all really amaz-

ing…I really expect to see you sitting as judges and running companies.”

Last summer, the CDO lost Jennifer Poon, effectively leaving Emily alone to handle a two person job.

Saddled with the extra burden of being the only counselor for the 200 2Ls neurotically tweaking resumes and cover letters, Emily handled the New York, Vancouver, and Toronto hiring cycles with incredible grace.

Often I’d see her and ask her how she was handling the double workload, her response was always the same – deflection of the question and selfless concern for the students.

I asked facebook if anyone had any Emily stories they wanted to share.

This story really sums up Emily:

“Over 2L I had a number of interactions with Emily as I applied for a clerkship. She was amazing, helping me out with questions about interviews, cover letters, and the like, and was incredibly helpful and thoughtful throughout the entire process.

She was super, super awesome.

During the summer, I was working in my office and someone came by to drop off a parcel addressed to me.

I had never received mail prior to that (nor after that).

I opened the package, and Emily had sent my newborn son an amazingly adorable outfit and a book, and had attached

For More, See “Orchard” on Page 8

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

ULTRA VIRES

OPINION

Class of 2012...

Selling Out Since ‘09 Can you match these graduating students with their law school personal statements?

By Andrew Robertson

I

love 1Ls, man, cause I get older and they stay the saaaaaame age, alright alright alright. (For those of you who don’t know what movie that’s from, you’ve missed out on one of the greatest coming-of-age stories of all time – ask around till someone with some pop cul-

ture intelligence tells you the name of that incredible film, and go and watch it TONIGHT.) The other reason I love 1Ls is because of their sheer naïvete as to what their career is going to look like. Now, I’ve already written about selling out and how

Personal Statement

“I would like to learn more about international law, especially future evolution of the international legal system, and the means by which human rights can be enforced more effectively. Courses such as “Globalization, Law, and Social Justice”…would enable me to vastly expand my knowledge and allow me to contribute to the scholarship in the field.”

“I want to act as a champion for disenfranchised people and to act as a protector and advocate for the disadvantaged. “[My desire to go to law school] also stems from my practical desire to be a lawyer so that I can most productively apply myself in public service.”

“I believe the interests of…corporations never align perfectly with those of ordinary people...I believe the great conflicts of the future will be fought over diminishing resources. Whether our societies can survive…depends to a great extent on the ability of the institutions that underpin them to develop effective regulatory and legal frameworks capable of reconciling divergent interests…I wish to play a part in this vital process.”

“I want to work for a large agribusiness, such as Monsanto, because I believe the future of sustainable living is the increased production of animal products and factory farming.”

much of a good idea it is, and I’m sure some of you 1Ls scoffed at the idea. “Not I,” say you, “I’m going to save the world!

All of those who came before me were never that serious about public interest!”

In response, I give you the second annual “Oh My God Look How Much They Sold

Out” quiz.

Every statement on the left is an exact quote from somebody’s personal statement that got them into this hallowed institution. On the right, the description of what they’re doing now. Match the facts to the fictions for depressing fun!

The Graduating Student

This person hopes to make an everyday difference in peoples’ lives by working at a large American law firm in NYC. His litigation practice will probably focus on defending large multinationals from mass tort and insurance claims made by injured individuals.

This person will be working at a law firm that has been described as one of the most conservative and competitive on the street. Their litigation practice will no doubt focus on defending the Firm’s numerous energy clients from environmental claims.

This person will be articling at a seven sister law firm. They have expressed a desire to work in the corporate/securities world, doing M&A work for the largest multinational clients a Canadian firm might have.

This person is Camille Labchuk.

Answers: 1: b), 2: c), 3: a), 4: d)

Orchard CDO Genius From Page 7 incredibly nice note to the thoughtful, unexpected, wonderful gift. Emily Orchard is a saint.”

My personal story comes from the OCI process, where I wanted to interview with a firm that didn’t offer me an OCI. I told Emily about it during the two days at the Convention Center, and I told her that I’d stick around until the end of the day in case there was a no show or cancellation – hoping that maybe she could sneak me into that spot.

Emily then walked back to the firm’s booth and pleaded my case to them, convincing them to give me an interview

during one of the breaks. That interview turned into an in-firm, which turned into an offer. I’ll always be grateful for her going to bat for me above and beyond what was asked or even expected.

She is a genuinely caring person, looking out for us in a way that is unmatched by any other faculty member at U of T Law. She is currently the mother of one, with another one on the way, and we at UV want to congratulate her and wish her the best going forward.

It will be a sad day when Emily leaves the CDO, and hopefully that day won’t be anytime soon.

From the bottom of our hearts, thanks Emily.

Letter to Faculty From Page 8 take an initiative in our education were seen as some irrationally angry, biased, sample of the student body that was not reflective of our peers. Of course students said negative things during the town hall meeting; these meetings are to discuss ways to improve a course, not for us to pat ourselves on the back about how amazing UofT already is.

Regardless of how much work went into the planning LRW, and how much positive feedback we 1Ls apparently gave, the class was not going to be perfect this year. It was the trial run of a new course. It was going to be flawed. When

has the first time of anything ever been good [that’s what s/he ...]?

But having a rough first year is not a problem. What is not conducive is the unwillingness from the administration’s end to discuss with students what didn’t work well or to even, as of the writing of this article, reveal to us the feedback they received and their plans for LRW going forward. There’s always room for improvement in any course.

But by simply telling the student body that everything in the realm of LRW is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, we won’t get that improvement.

Regards, Katherine Georgious

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

9

OPINION

J-Nasty Sets The Record Straight

UV article misled readers on crucial issues

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By Justin Nassieri (3L)

n the last issue of Ultra Vires, the paper took statements made by Associate Dean Alarie and me about the 1L Legal Research & Writing (LRW) program, and pitted them against each other such that a reader might think that it was the tale of the tape for an upcoming Alarie vs. J-Nasty boxing match.

I would most certainly lose.

I am now taking this opportunity to clarify my relationship with A.D. Alarie, my statements, and my poJUSTIN NASSERI Vice-President of the sition on student SLS Caucus consultation.

I’ll start by saying that I have a healthy and excellent professional relationship with A.D. Alarie- he has always opened his door to me for meetings and discussions on any number of issues.

Some editorial liberties taken by the UV may have made it appear as if I was promulgating an antagonistic image of the SLS’s relations with the Faculty- I wasn’t. This year’s SLS, led by President Aaron Rankin, has had an unwavering commitment to a strong SLS-Faculty relationship that involves clear lines of communication between the two bodies.

Nevertheless, establishing such a relationship does not come without its challenges. At the time at which I gave my interview to UV, there had not been any formal meeting of the Dean’s Curriculum Committee yet- this is the Committee that was tasked with evaluating LRW, and its existence was formalized in September, when the SLS received a list of all of the Dean’s Committees for the 2011/2012 school year.

That is why it came as a surprise to the SLS, when A.D. Alarie provided a summary report about the LRW program at the January Faculty Council Meeting. It was certainly within the competency of the Committee to have a plan for evaluating LRW feedback, and to compile this feedback into a report- Our only objection was that at the time, the student members of the Committee had not been informed about: BENJAMIN ALARIE (i) the efforts Associate Dean of the taken until then First Year Program to compile feedback about the program; (ii) a date for the Committee to have an official meeting; and (iii) what kind of feedback the SLS would be entitled to see.

It’s understandable, then, that students who had been appointed to the

Committee would feel ‘out of the loop,’ upon hearing that report at Faculty Council. There are SLS members appointed to these Dean’s Committees specifically for the purpose of representing student views, and of providing access to information about what goes on within these Committees to the greater student population- this is a cornerstone of the relationship between the Faculty and the SLS. With respect to the January LRW Town Hall, the UV framed my interview as me “admitting” that this Hall was sparsely populated- I’m not sure what the article is trying to imply by saying this was admitted- I expressly and openly acknowledged that the Hall had a low attendance rate at the outset of my interview.

Nevertheless, when 15 students show up to a Town Hall, and express deep frustration with something, it is incumbent upon the SLS to investigate the issue, and to see whether the general student population feels that way.

Furthermore, the fact that a minority of students express frustration about a program does not mean that their frustrations are incorrect or unwarranted.

That is precisely why the SLS engaged in a thorough consultation that included small group discussions about the LRW program, and a survey distributed to the 1Ls. These efforts culminated in a SLS Report on the LRW Program, which will be available on the SLS website later this month. The Curriculum Committee met on March 2, provided the SLS with a thorough Faculty feedback report, and gladly received, read, and discussed our LRW report.

The SLS is confident and hopeful that our recommendations will be adopted.

They were almost always consistent with the Faculty’s own findings, and A.D.Alarie chaired a productive and thoughtful discussion on the issue.

Everything ultimately turned out great- but that doesn’t change a position that I’ve had on virtually every SLSFaculty issue- that there is a tremendous value to student consultation, and that the SLS and Faculty should be in clear communication so as to ensure that this consultation is timely and thorough.

Generally speaking, I think that the best practice for Dean’s Committees is for the Chairs of these Committees to call meetings in October or November, at which time they can communicate the mandate(s) of the Committee, the role of the SLS members on that Committee, and how student consultation, if warranted, can be facilitated by the SLS. Several Dean’s Committees follow this practice already, and they experience great success.This minimizes the risk of surprises or misunderstandings, and maximizes the potential productivity of Committee initiatives.

It is this kind of thorough consultative process that Aaron Rankin and I were advocating for when we published a critique of the Faculty’s approach to deciding on, and unveiling the new grading system during the Fall.

These are the Best Years of Your Life

At least they were for me... what? Really!

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By Andrew Robertson (3L)

know you are all use to some uproariously funny article at this point in the paper, but as I have told you time and again, my being editor means that I get to write whatever I want, whenever I want.

And, cognizant of the fact that this is my last ever article for the UV, I thought that perhaps this is the time to write about something more important than bottles and models. Quickly, I’d like to thank my loyal readers (Hi Lauren! Hi Aditya!) Now, if you will indulge me, I’d like to share some of my favourite memories of my time here, and more importantly, hope to convince you to do what you can to make these the best years of your life.

Get Involved Admittedly, my involvement in the school this year has been limited contributing to this paper at the very last minute of deadlines, usually after much cajoling and abuse from Brownie. But it wasn’t always that way. Over the years, I’ve tried to get involved in the school in as many different ways I could, and the more I did, the more the school meant to me. And though I joke, working on UV this year was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I hope that, even in 3L, some of you next year will be able to find ways to get involved in any way possible.

Get Tipsy Well, you don’t actually have to.

But, the weekly pub nights and parties are one of the things that sets us apart from other law schools. And though this year I skipped more than I made, I can proudly say that in 1L, myself and only one other student (as far as I know) did not miss a single pub night. Osgoode has a pub night once a month; other law schools never have them. And it’s not about getting drunk, as my byline advises – it’s about meeting people you may not talk to in class or through sports. Some of the most interesting conversations I’ve had with people occurred over late night food after pub nights or parties.

Get Out I’m not telling you to sod off. What I’m saying is that in your third year, you should take every opportunity to get away on the weekends – this might be the last time in your life you will have 3 or 4 day weekends with almost no responsibility. You don’t need to take big expensive trips to Europe, because there is so much to see and do on this amazing continent of ours. In the last 6 months alone, I have been stuck in a snowstorm in northern Michigan; partied like crazy at Law Games in Vancouver, and partied even harder with the Winnipeg Jets in Winnipeg; had a turducken dinner in Erie, Pennsylvania; and fed seals in Victoria, BC, four weeks after petting Kentucky Derby winners in Lexington, Kentucky. I’m writing these words on a

plane, which the onboard map tells me is currently somewhere over Saskatchewan.

My favourite memory of the last 6 months was pulling over on Highway 1 on Remembrance Day somewhere in western Manitoba for a minute of silence. Looking out over the vast prairie, and thinking of all of those who gave their lives our country, was a memory unlike any other I’ve ever had. It was something I would never have expected doing –driving from Toronto to Calgary in three days is not your usual travel plan, but if I hadn’t said yes to it, I would never have that moment I will take with me forever. In 3L, I decided this would be my year to say “yes” to every interesting idea and proposal. I encourage you to do the same thing -you will not regret it, trust me.

In your last years in law school, you have the opportunity to both make a meaningful difference and to partake in unique experiences you may never have imagined having. I have been so lucky to go to this school and meet all the wonderful and interesting characters that have come through here.

I just hope that you can take the opportunity to make these the best years of your life, and leave loving this school as much as I do.

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

ULTRA VIRES

OPINION

MPG’s Famous Top Tens Editor Andrew Robertson pays tribute to the top ten god by trying to get him a date

By Andrew Robertson (3L)

U

sually, these pages are blessed with the latest top 10 lists by MPG, which are (we are told) supposed to be funny. MPG often takes the time in his top 10 lists to poke fun at himself, or Matt Brown and myself, which we find hilarious and disrespectful, respectively.

The question we asked ourselves this month is why has there not been a top 10 things about MPG list? Good question…

10. MPG is Jacked Now, I know what you’re thinking – there are a lot of jacked guys at law school. But unlike some that will take off their shirts at a Law Follies sketch after shedding weight for a week in a pathetic attempt to a) make someone else on the stage look fat and b) attract women, you won’t see MPG doing that. Under those khakis and perfectly pressed collared shirts, he’s an Adonis – but you have to get close to find out, ladies.

9. MPG is Principled Coming from me, this doesn’t mean much. But if you’ve ever spent any time with MPG, you’ll know that he does not cheat, steal, lie or do anything remotely unethical.

He’s never misleading, and will always tell you the truth as he sees it. So yes, he may be entirely in the wrong line of work, but he’s certainly someone you can count on to do the right thing.

8. MPG is Hard-Working Yes, again, coming from me, etc. etc.

But seriously, who works harder than MPG? Who logs more hours at Bora’s head?

The man has actually slept at the library several times.

During exam period, he’s been known to eschew all human contact in order to maintain a perfect balance between lifting weights and cracking the books.

7. MPG is a Cunning Linguist This is something I do know about.

In 2 years, MPG has: travelled to Africa for debate championships; coached Baby Gale teams; been a Grand Mooter; and was recently on the wining Corporate/Securities moot team.

The man is basically Mr. Moot (I sincerely hope this nickname catches on, as it is the lamest thing I have ever written/ heard.) What it means is that he knows how to use his mouth. If you know what I mean.

6. MPG is an Athlete MPG doesn’t just do dorky things like debating and mooting – he also displays his athletic prowess on several intramural teams. MPG was recently a member of the championship winning soccer team and next year, MPG will be captaining our soccer team in their cup defence. Yes, he may run funny, but he’s still a great

asset to have on your side.

5. MPG has an Inquisitive Mind Usually, when I’m not good at something, I just stop doing it. Ex girlfriends can attest to this. But when MPG doesn’t know how to do something (rare!), he learns. Prime example: earlier this year, MPG decided to start playing in my weekly poker games. Seeing as he had never picked up a pack of cards before, he was honestly the most god-awful poker player I’ve ever seen.

If he had been party to the games they use to run at the North Burnaby Inn, he would have lost digits for some of the mistakes he made. But instead of packing it in, MPG read up on pot-odds and strategies, practiced his game, and eventually made his way to….2nd place. Which is respectable.

4. MPG is a Gentleman When MPG wants to wine and dine a lady, he is most gentlemanly about it. He doesn’t just go tarps off in a ridiculous attempt to seduce.

He wants learn about his lovers, enquiring into their desires and dreams, and tries to anticipate and meet their needs. In my opinion, he should just take his shirt off at the bar, but he is who he is.

3. MPG is a Serious Customer Here’s a newsflash, kids: life isn’t one big joke. And those of you who walk around acting like it is should take a long hard look at MPG. MPG takes things seriously, because this is your life and career and you shouldn’t walk around saying what you want and doing stupid stuff and skipping class and generally acting like a fool, dammit. MPG is serious about his life, because you only live it once, and you better live it right!

2. MPG is Frugal This sounds like a negative, which goes to show how twisted our minds are. MPG isn’t cheap; he just doesn’t blow money.

He’ll still buy a buddy a beer, or take a girl to a nice restaurant.

He won’t take you to a place that serves $18 cocktails, just to show off that he’s a regular.

Quite frankly, men who do that are trying too hard.

1. MPG is Going to be More Successful than All of Us In 15 years, where will you be? I will probably have burnt out and will be running a small surf shop in Tofino.

The rest of you losers will probably have decided this “law thing” isn’t for you (just couldn’t cut it, couldya?)

But if you stay in this game, it’s a good bet that MPG will be your boss, or at least way more successful than you.

Why? Well, because of reasons 2-10 obviously – it’s called reading comprehension.

If you didn’t pick up on that, it’s a good bet this lawyer thing really isn’t for you!

By Micheael Portke Gartner (3L)

L

aw students spend a lot of time on Facebook. It is both a vital procrastination tool and a way to creep their classmates. Law students also use Facebook for social advancement. Here are some of the ways by which they do so.

10. By commenting on the wall posts and status updates of social leaders.

Nothing screams to the masses “I’m friends with this guy!!!” like commenting on every piece of content that appears on his timeline. Some people would suggest that there is something of a social hierarchy in law school. By visibly interacting with people who are above them in that hierarchy, law students aspire to inch – ever so slowly – upwards.

9. By posting their baby pictures This shows fellow law students that you were once cute, carefree, and subject to your parents’ whimsical senses of style. Unfortunately, everyone knows that Kodak was still solvent in 1989 for a reason: their film-based photography products were the only thing going. But hey, it’s not like anyone actually realizes how much effort was involved in digging through your attic, locating your old family albums, searching for that one perfect shot of yourself, peeling back the sticky covering, and scanning and uploading that photo to Facebook. There is nothing vain about that AT ALL. 8. Public, private events That awkward moment when somebody plans a birthday party, invites their 40 best friends, makes the event public, and tells their friends to “invite other people.” This is perhaps the number one way to create social angst in law school: if you get that friend of a friend’s invite, four days after the event was created, are you really going to go?

7. By bragging about the fun they’ve had procrastinating and simultaneously telling the world of the challenges they now face in completing their work. Sample post of this genre: “Played Skyrim all night! Soiled myself!

Now have to write 10,000-word memo in 4 hours!!! #lawstudentproblems.”

Nothing is less cool in law school than admitting that you actually had to work for that B+.

That student “writing” his memo in 4 hours has already researched primary, secondary AND tertiary sources. He has also met with the prof five times, prepared an intricately-detailed outline, and written all of his footnotes. It’s a fine line though. Three hours would have definitely been tight.

6. By posting in the University of Toronto Law Class of 2014 Facebook

group.

Facebook is a social networking website and there is no more effective way to network with your classmates and the fifty-odd upper years who joined the group to creep 1Ls [Editor’s Note: MPG is a member of this group] than by deluging their e-mail inboxes with important notifications. Group members react particularly well to such posts as “Here’s a funny video telling 16-year-olds not to go to law school that everyone was sharing on their timelines two weeks ago!” and “I apparently don’t know anyone in my 95 person section, so can some random please take notes for me in Torts on Monday?”

5. Marketing.

By demonstrating their domestic prowess. Or their abs. Nothing says “future Bay Street husband” like a properlycooked roast, a well-dressed dog, or a delightful and well-looked-after toddler.

[Editor’s Note – wtf?]

4. By gushing over their girlfriends’ Facebook photos.

“Sooo pretty!” and “You are far too attractive for law school!!” are common refrains. Nothing makes another girl like you more than blatant public flattery.

Unfortunately, there is an awkward “I need to reassure you because I am concerned that you lack self-esteem” vibe that comes out in these comments. But, not being female myself, I will not impute my interpretation of such posts onto ALL of those who have received them [Editor’s Note – thank you].

3. Pity-liking: by liking posts that haven’t been liked yet.

This serves an important supportive function to your friend, who, in an attempt to get attention, has posted some trite, or altogether-uninteresting content that no one cares about. Even more awkwardly, your friend might have made a remark that he clearly thought was witty but which no one else thought to be such.

Everyone in law school knows that you two are bros though, so you’re like tends to make his post look even more pathetic.

2. By friending…everyone.

Because everyone knows that 2,000 Facebook friends is the epitome of cool.

You know you’ve made it in law school when someone with whom you have never spoken, or seen, or heard of adds you on Facebook – and you have to check Stalkerbook to verify that she is, in fact, your classmate.

You also know you’ve made it when you win a game of chicken: when there’s one classmate who Facebook keeps recommending to you, who goes from 75, to 83, to 97, to 105 mutual friends in the span of 3 months, and who you REFUSE to add.

You wait…and he adds you. BAM! 1. Face. Book. Chat.

Or, as some call it: “The best use of lecture time short of actually paying attention.”

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

11

FEATURES

The SLS Audit: 2011-12 Why didn’t your club get funding this year? Why weren’t women allowed to play in the U of T - Osgoode basket ball game? All these questions (and more!) answered

By Rhea Karvanis (3L)

W

e publish this column in order to keep UTLaw students up to date with SLS money-spending and decision-making.

Below is a breakdown of the SLS 20112012 budget, as well as an explanation of various costs that were incurred throughout the academic year.

(A) Club Funding The SLS’s club funding policies as of January 2012 are as follows: • A maximum of $200 was allocated per lunch/meal, with an annual maximum of $400 for lunch/meal events per club.

• Lunch/meals were not provided for purely student-run events (events without outside speakers).

• A maximum of $100 was allocated per non-meal catered event, with an annual maximum of $200 for non-meal catered events per club.

• A maximum of $20 was provided per speaker gift.

• The SLS does not subsidize gifts that are alcoholic in nature.

• A maximum of $5 per movie rental, and $15 for movie snacks, was provided.

• Clubs were entitled to up to $10 for their Clubs Fair tabling costs.

• Up to $5 per event was provided for printing costs.

• The SLS does not provide funding for: food at internal meetings, paid student positions, year-end parties, student travel costs, or for professional coaches/paid speakers.

• In addition, alcohol is never subsidized by the SLS. As stated in our November budget article, we apply these policies to club funding to ensure that the finite funds available are fairly distributed.

We made some changes to the club funding process this year.

We reserved the normal amount for second semester funding requests (approximately $5000), but also added a requirement that all clubs submit a mid year report to us at the beginning of the second semester.

Every year, a large surplus accumulates in large part due to the fact that clubs are allocated more money than they eventually use.

This is often unavoidable, as a club’s planned events will never turn out exactly as projected at the beginning of the year.

By requiring mid year reports, we were able to see what funds clubs had been allocated for first semester events which had not been used (nor was intended to be used in second semester) and we were able to recycle those funds back into second semester club funding.

This amounted to approximately $1800.

Because of this, we felt we were able

to safely increase maximum amounts for lunch-event and non-lunch food event funding, allowing all clubs more flexibility in their event planning.

Club funding is a tricky process: we cannot allow the maximum amounts permitted for each event to get too high initially, or there will not be enough money leftover for second semester club funding requests.

There will always be money unused in first semester club events, but that amount can vary greatly, so accounting for it in the amount saved for second semester funding (by reserving less money) is not advisable.

In addition, there are always fewer requests for second semester funding (as most clubs request all-year funding in the first semester) but the total amount is unpredictable.

Because of these variables, the amount leftover after all club funding allocations have been made is also unpredictable.

This year, there was approximately $2700 leftover from this expanded second semester club-funding pool.

We allocated this amount to Law Ball (please see section (E) for further explanation).

We have also required of all clubs that they submit financial reports to us by the end of year.

At this point, we will be able to tell how much of the overall club funding pool was used this year and will adjust next year’s funding policies accordingly.

We will also recommend to next year’s executive members that they publish an article very early in the 2012-2013 academic year that fully explains the club funding process so that clubs applying for funding have a deeper understanding of the process and what they are entitled to.

We knew the interest and attendance on the part of U of T had been sporadic and we, therefore, should have started planning immediately.

Instead, we focused on SLS’s many other activities and made the mistake of pushing back planning of the tournament until January.

In January, when we were asked to fund the men’s intramural basketball team’s participation in an existing Osgoode Hall tournament we granted this funding, as per our club funding policy of $20/team member/tournament.

We discussed that it was not ideal that that only men would be playing and that this should be different next year.

However, we decided that even a partial event was preferable to no event at all.

As such, we allocated only $150 of the original $500 to advertising and promoting this game as a spirit event.

We knew that interest and attendance on the part of U of T in the event had been sporadic.

Therefore we should have begun planning immediately; instead we focused on

SLS’s many other activities and didn’t talk a lot about the tournament until January.

This shouldn’t happen again.

It’s not conducive to planning a co-ed, signature sporting competition between UTLaw and Osgoode.

It contributed to our rushed and insufficiently consultative decisionmaking in January.

We should not have made this decision before approaching the girls’ basketball team for their opinion.

Again, we would like to apologize to female athletes who would have liked to play in a co-ed basketball game this year.

We will recommend to next year’s executive that participation of both genders and organization of this event in the first semester are absolutely necessary to ensure a successful UofT-Osgoode sporting event.

With the remaining $350 of this sporting event fund, we allocated $200 to providing food for the three SLS Focus

For More, See Over

CONGRATULATIONS U of T! We congratulate the U of T TEAM for winning the 2012 CORPORATE/SECURITIES LAW MOOT and for receiving the second place factum prize.

(B) Halloween Party In October 2011, the SLS threw its annual Halloween Party in Flavelle.

Because of poor continuation of information from the prior year regarding this event, we were unsure of all the costs that would be involved in the current event.

As such, we made a conservative estimate and set cover at $10 per person, while lowering the price of drinks.

We ended up with approximately $2,700 in revenue from this event.

We had voted before this event that any profit would be put toward Law Ball costs.

We have recommended to next year’s executive to reduce the price of attendance from $10 a person to $5.

We have also made a very detailed memo regarding this event for next year’s executive so that the 2012 event can be the best Halloween party yet!

(C) UofT-Osgoode Men’s Basketball Game Fund In September, we allocated $500 to a UofT-Osgoode sporting event.

The U of T team members are Jonathan Bright, Paul Davis, Stephen Holinski and Michael Portner-Gartke.

The annual Davies Corporate/Securities Law Moot brings together top students from Canadian law schools to debate current legal issues in corporate and securities law.

dwpv.com

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The Full SLS budget, 2011 to 2012 Revenues: Fees

54,685

Halloween Party

2,675.86

Total Revenue

57,360.86

Expenses Audit Charges

4,400.00

Banking Charges

150.00

SurveyMonkey Account

208.00

FluidSurveys Account

154.81

Bouncy Castle for Dean’s BBQ

450.00

Website Hosting Fees

228.04

Gifts for Dean

60.00

Mewett Teach Award and John Willis Award, as well as inscribing the SLS Partnership Award

300.00

Globe & Mail

275.00

Club Funding Funding used in First Semester Funding Allocated in First Semester

13,905.08

Funding Not Used

(1,864.22) 12,040.86

Additional Funds Allocated in Second Semester

4,037.24

Artists’ Legal Advice Services

120.00

Christian Law Students’ Association

220.00

East Asian Law Students’ Association

505.00

Environmental Law Club

90.00

Federalism Club

265.00

Feminist Law Students Association

175.00

International Law Society

150.00

Intramurals

830.91

JD/MBA

50.00

Law Conservatives

50.00

Law & Politics Club

100.00

Litigation Association

90.00

Muslim Law Students Association

50.00

Out in Law

173.00

Progressive Law Students’

300.00

Sports & Entertainment Law Society

90.00

SPINLaw

70.00

Student Animal Legal Defence Fund

69.00

Tax Law Society

445.00

TIP

64.33

Women and the Law

130.00

From Previous Page Group Meetings to Back-End Debt Relief program, which were Friday morning meetings, attended by randomly selected participants.

We allocated a further $100 to coffee houses, and the remaining $50 to Law Ball.

(D) Coffee Houses After our first coffee house in November, we found that more money was required to feed the increasing number people that were attending these events.

Approximately $170 was spent per event to provide snacks and drinks to the many students who attended to see their peers display their talents.

(E) Law Ball This year, we lost a major sponsor for Law Ball, and were unable to seek further sponsorship.

Because of this, we were required to use more of SLS money to fund the event.

We had initially allocated $4000 to the event (as per the recommendation of last year’s exec), plus the revenue from the Halloween Party.

In addition, we allocated the money that remained from the second semester club funding pool.

Part of the reason that we chose to do this is that we felt that at this point in the year (late January) there was very little we could have put this money towards to the benefit of the students of this academic year.

In total, the SLS put approximately $9,400 toward this event.

The cost per guest was over $90, with tickets priced at $65: we chose this pricing in order to make the event accessible to as many students as possible, as well as to stay in line with students’ expectations given the pricing of previous years’ events.

However, each ticket was not, in effect, subsidized by $35: we used revenue from the bar to help cover costs for the event.

We were able to host approximately

450 law students and their guests, and we are very happy with how the event turned out.

(F) Unexpected Survey Cost At the beginning of the year, we had allocated $200 to Survey Monkey for SLS’s survey needs throughout the year; these surveys are used to ensure that the SLS is fully aware of the opinions and thoughts of the UTLaw student body on a variety of issues.

However, there were unexpected complications: we discovered that students using Utorwin wi-fi could not access Survey Monkey.

This would have seriously reduced the rate of survey completion.

As such, we looked for an alternative provider.

We subscribed with FluidSurveys for two months at the cost of $155.

As Survey Monkey has been paid this yearly fee in advance, cancellation of this cost was not feasible in the circumstances.

We will contact Survey Monkey regarding the technical glitch to see if any of this money is recoverable.

In order to make room for this cost, we have allocated the remaining $60 from the coffee house fund; we were also notified by the organizers of the SPINlaw conference that $60 that they were allocated was unused; there was also approximately $50 that was unused from the Osgoode-UTLaw basketball game.

If you have any questions or comments, please contact Vice-President Student Affairs Rhea Karvanis at r.karvanis@utoronto.ca.

Comments will be incorporated into our suggestions for next year, and used to inform next year’s executive about any changes that the student body feels ought to be made for the 2012-2013 academic year.

Sincerely, The Students’ Law Society

1L Birth Announcement

Coffee Houses

490.00

Goodwill Events

175.00

Law Ball

9,392.76

Office Supplies

400.00

Osgoode Sports Event

100.00

SLS Focus Group Meetings to Back-End Debt Relief program

200.00

Public Interest Advocacy Summer Employment Program

19,155.00

Reserve for O-Week

5,125.00

Total

57,341.71

Won El, Section 1, announces the birth of her child.

it eventually, you know? Just giving it some time to bond.”

“I mean, I was really dreading it for the longest time. And the labour pains were just as bad as expected - if not worse.

But in the end, you know, you have something that, well, in all honesty, looks awful. But I think I’ll warm up to

“Untitled” was born at 3:59 PM on February 28, 2012. Its birth weight was 0.1 pounds and its measurements were 8.5”x11”. “Untitled” joins three siblings, “LRW Memo”, “Small Group Assignment #1”, and “Small Group Assignment #2”.

ULTRA VIRES.CA Now you can get all the excitement of Ultra Vires online!

New Redesigned site Coming in April!

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Envisioning Global LGBT Rights Despite headwinds, countries are becoming more supportive of LGBT human rights

T

By Atrisha Lewis (3L)

his is my final UV column since I will be graduating law school in a few short months. Since many of my friends have asked me why I am going/went to Geneva, I decided to dedicate my last column to my experiences in Geneva.

It was truly an amazing experience and I encourage all 1Ls and 2Ls to consider getting involved with the International Human Rights Program (IHRP) in order to get a real look into what it takes to be a human rights activist.

My trip to Geneva was sponsored by the IHRP and I went as part of the Envisioning Global LGBT Rights project, with LLM student Zahra Ahmed. Together, we attended a historic panel at the United Nations Human Rights Council on discrimination and violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity. The panel was historic because it happened. For the first time, there was a discussion on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered (LGBT) rights during open session at the UN and all states were required to attend.

The speakers at the panel sent a very clear message: human rights are universal and they apply to all people, including LGBT people.

While we often take LGBT rights for granted in Canada, many LGBT people abroad face a completely different reality. Homosexuality remains criminalized in over 70 countries and LGBT people all over the world routinely face violence and discrimination. This UN panel was an important step in ending criminalization, violence, and discrimination.

Unfortunately, the battle for the protection of LGBT human rights is nowhere near over. Many states remain hostile towards the recognition of LGBT rights and are in denial about the plight of LGBT people.

For instance, Nigeria at the session claimed that there is no violence against any Nigerians on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Other states left the session after delivering a two minute submissions rejecting the universality of human rights. Other states simply did not show up to the panel in the first place.

Despite these hostile positions, the ability of states to justify denying LGBT people their human rights is slowly evaporating. The panel made it very clear that 1) International law clearly affirms LGBT rights, 2) the Human Rights Council will

engage on this issue, and 3) Countries around the world are becoming more vocal in support of LGBT human rights.

And while LGBT activists are successfully achieving progress at the international level, they know that this is not sufficient for change on the ground. Many of the LGBT activists that advocated for this very panel were unsure how this panel will translate into real change in their countries.

Though the true impact of the panel is uncertain, international progress is important to legitimize the fight of LGBT activists and to provide legal ammunition for progressive judges. Some UN officials indicated to me that they believe the judiciary will drive a large part of the reform and they see their role as providing these judges with hard law they can cite in their decision.

Going to Geneva, witnessing the buildup and the aftermath of the panel was an incredible experience, especially from a learning perspective. I had the opportunity to get a real inside look at how human rights activism works at the UN. What I saw taught me that it truly is all about politics. I watched as NGO activists chatted up state delegations and UN officials. I also witnessed the internal politics of NGOs themselves. For instance, the coalition of NGOs advocating for LGBT rights debated among themselves for hours as to which NGO statements would be read out at the UN session.

The experience was also amazing because I was able to meet some incredible LGBT rights activists from countries such as Uganda, South Africa, Suriname, etc. The activists I met were brave, strong, determined and most importantly patient. Some of the activists had waited almost 8 years for this panel to happen.

They were returning to hostile climates where their own safety was in danger.

For instance, I met a Ugandan who advocates for LGBT rights in a country that is considering imposing the death penalty on homosexuals. He told me he loved his country, yet simultaneously has never been able to fully breathe when he walks down the street out of fear.

In Geneva, I learned a lot more than I ultimately gave back. The experience was invaluable and I am grateful to the IHRP for supporting me in this trip. I hope that I somehow shined a light on this issue.

I hope that you have enjoyed my columns throughout the year. Thanks for listening to my rants and musings. Good luck with exams and I hope a feisty new columnist will replace me next year.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CARY FERGUSON Atrisha Lewis attended a historic panel at the United Nations Human Rights Council on discrimination and violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity in Geneva.

Faculty of Law is Different See previous page “Coat” ing. First, the SLS clothing sale was an unmitigated gong show this year largely because of the central University’s trademark licencing policy and its mandatory list of “approved vendors”. The regulations are Byzantine and every little glitch turned into a huge roadblock as the central University people were virtually incommunicado. Second, the Faculty of Law has not filled the vacancy in the Career Development Office since Jennifer Poon left last summer. That’s because that hiring must go through the central University, which has not responded to the Faculty’s pleas for a new hire. It’s simply unacceptable.

What does this have to do with a coat of arms? Giving the Faculty of Law its own logo would be symbolic of UofT Law’s distinct identity from the University at large. To have a proper coat of arms rendered and registered is not expensive, it costs about $1500. Such a move could also be instrumental in setting a precedent that sees more power housed in the Faculty and not the University – an essential ingredient for an efficient and adaptable law school.

The Faculty of Law deserves its own logo, and that logo should be the Faculty’s coat of arms. The roof-and-columns logo is more at home on a tube of toothpaste than the letterhead of a law school and should be jettisoned forever; a temporary gaffe that we will chuckle about one day in the future. But the coat of arms contains symbols linked to law, the University and the Crown. The motto “Regnum Juris Regnum Pacis” is as relevant today

as when Dean Wright commissioned it, and for a host of new reasons: “Rule of Law” is a goal of developing democracies in the Global South, and is of increasing importance in Canada in the post-Charter era and with the concurrent growth of the regulatory state and executive government power.

I will end this article with a quote from Bishop Strachan, founder of the University of Toronto and leader of the Toronto Family Compact (for better or worse), writing in 1826, a mere 68 years after Sir William Blackstone had been appointed the first professor of English law: “There are, it is believed, between forty and fifty young gentlemen in the Province studying the profession of Law - a profession which must, in a country like this, be the repository of the highest talents. Lawyers must from the very nature of our political institutions - from there being no great landed proprietors - no privileged orders - become the most powerful profession, and must in time possess more influence and authority than any other.

They are emphatically our men of business, and will gradually engross all the colonial offices of profit and honour. It is, therefore, of the utmost importance that they should be collected together at the University, become acquainted with each other and familiar, acquire similar views and modes of thinking, and be taught from precept and example to love and venerate our parent State.”

The Faculty of Law is not like other departments at the University of Toronto, and should have a distinctive coat of arms to identify itself.

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Spring (and despair?)

Law follies, coffee house, the presidentia

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al debates and law ball. What a year!

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Spring Photos Continued

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Where’s Our Coat of Arms?

Battle between the faculty and the U of T administration left an unfortunate casualty In 1990, a modern version of the coat of arms emerged. It was designed by the University of Toronto Press for the UofT Law Alumni Directory. That coat of arms is the also found on lecterns in BLH and MCR (which is why you’ve probably spent hours staring at it). It was used until 2003-2004, when the Faculty bid a farewell to arms and switched to the infamous swooshy “roof-and-columns” logo.

The roof-and-columns was created by DUO Strategy and Design Inc., a graphic design firm which appears to specialize in exceptionally unexceptional corporate branding.

This year, Simcoe Hall (the central University of Toronto administration) issued an edict that the roof-and-columns logo be decommissioned and replaced by the University-wide coat of arms. This was against the wishes of the Faculty of Law administration.

The tree on the crest is the same as the crest of the University of Toronto: an oak tree with branches and golden acorns, sitting on top of a wreath in the blue and white of the University. The acorns hold promise of new life.

The motto below the coat of arms is “Regnum Juris Regnum Pacis”, which translated from the Latin means “Rule of Law, Rule of Peace”.

Interestingly, the Dean’s Key and the original coat of arms do not feature a mace on the shield. Instead there is a feather pen, a symbol of the art of writing and educated employment.

The modern coat of arms is monochrome black and white. However, the coat of arms on the Dean’s Key has a golden field, the scales and the dark part of the shield are a deep navy, and the oak tree and maple leaves are a striking emerald.

Funnily enough, Dr. Daniel Wilson (then President of the University) wanted the tree on the crest to be an “umbrageous Maple” but it somehow wound up being a mighty oak. Also of interest is that the original beaver was pretty badass, with big claws and teeth, but successive generations of university branding schemes have emasculated the beaver into a weak shadow of the original beast.

Original Faculty of Law Coat of Arms

Dean’s Key

Modern Faculty of Law Coat of Arms

UofT Coat of Arms

ant to a verbal order, that would become the first Dean’s Key. The Dean’s Key is an award given annually to a graduating student who has excelled in academic extracurriculars such as mooting and essay contests.

What exactly was contained in that verbal order from Dean Wright is unknown; what is known is the design that came of it, the coat of arms that remains on the Dean’s Key to this day. The Faculty of Law paid $20 even for the Dean’s Key in 1956; in 2012, Birks charged $1050 before tax.

The coat of arms on the Dean’s Key appeared in the University of Toronto yearbook (titled “Nensis”) between 1957 and 1963. Clearly, whatever had been in Dean Wright’s verbal order was also adopted as the Faculty’s official coat of arms. Faculty Council minutes from that era yield no mention of the coat of arms or of any official logo at all. In 1963, Nensis switched to a more modern layout that eschewed the baroque formality of coats of arms, so it is difficult to determine when the original coat of arms ceased being used.

Symbolism of the Faculty of Law Coat of Arms There are two versions of the Faculty of Law coat of arms: the original one used from 1956 to about 1990, and the modern one used from 1990 to 2004.

David Appleton, a member of the Royal Heraldry Society of Canada, helped me decipher the significance of the modern coat of arms. The main part of a coat of arms is called the “shield” and the symbols on it are called the “charges”. The part at the top is called the “crest”. This is their meaning: The maple leaves on the white background (“field”) of the shield symbolize Canada (obviously!).

The scales and sword symbolize the law – think of the statue by Walter Allward, in front of the Supreme Court of Canada, of Lady Justice holding a sword.

The book symbolizes learning and, possibly, the written law – think of Allward’s other statue, “Truth”, holding a book.

The crowned mace is symbolic of the Crown and of the Royal prerogatives embodied in the law.

The University of Toronto Coat of Arms Since the central University administration has ordered that the Faculty of Law adopt the University-wide coat of arms, I thought it prudent to include a little discussion of that coat of arms.

In 1917, the University’s Board of Governors applied to the College of Arms in London, England for a proper coat of arms. This was the description (“blazon”) that the College of Arms worked from: “Azure two open Books and in base a Beaver all proper, upon a Chief Argent the Royal and Imperial Crown also proper, and for the crest on a wreath of the colours an Oak tree proper stemmed and fructed Or.” The motto of the University is “Velut arbor aevo (crescat)”, a phrase adapted from one of Horace’s Odes. It translates to “As a tree with the passage of time”, something that always reminds me of Lord Sankey’s living tree.

The “Imperial Crown also proper” is that of George IV, in whose reign the University’s royal charter was granted.

on the computers at Robarts (no offence to Anthro majors). The federated colleges use their own coats of arms, so why not let the Faculty of Law do so; it is far more siloed from the general University than any of the colleges.

Bora Laskin had a desire for a strong centralized University of Toronto, a mission that was substantially furthered in the 1960s when he convinced the graduate faculties to align with the central University and not with the constituent colleges. (If you hear echoes of Laskin’s views on federalism, it’s not coincidence.)

But just like Canadian federalism, there has to be a balance, and at UofT that balance is off. Concentrating power in the central University makes administration clumsy and slow. Red tape proliferates.

Things don’t get done. 600-odd law students are not a priority when Simcoe Hall has some 73,000 other students to worry about.

Two examples of UofT federalism gone awry: SLS clothing sales and CDO hir-

I

By (2L)

t was a symbol of the Law School for nearly fifty years before being retired, it still pops up here and there, and you’ve probably spent dozens of hours staring at it without even realizing. It’s the UofT Law coat of arms, and I set out to investigate its story.

History of the Faculty of Law Coat of Arms The coat of arms first appeared during the period when the modern Faculty of Law was establishing itself, still in temporary housing at Glendon Hall at the corner of Bayview and Lawrence Avenues. In a letter dated March 27th, 1956, then-Dean Cecil Wright (immortalized as that “other” head outside our library) confirmed the purchase from Henry Birks & Sons of a 10k gold key and crest, pursu-

Discussion: A Call to Arms The forced branding of the Faculty of Law is part of a larger power struggle between the Faculty and the University. In my opinion, the Faculty should have its own coat of arms The Faculty of Law deserves its own logo. A distinctive logo would separate law students (over-achievers, leaders of tomorrow, etc. etc.) from the run-of-themill Anthropology undergrad who spends most of the semester playing Farmville

See next page “Coat”

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Should You Do a Joint Program?

UV Staff asked current students to determine what works and what doesn’t Program Length Additional Tuition Survey Response Rate Pros

JD/Master of Business Administration

JD/Master of Global Affairs

JD/Master of Arts (Economics, Criminology, English, etc.)

4 Years

4 Years

3 Years

$52,643

$15,000

$0

79%

100%

61%

Lots of simulations/exercises, learn lots about business & valuable/ transferable skills, Rotman’s excellent administration

Interesting subject matter, chance to do an international internship

An extra degree essentially for free, the chance to meet students/faculty outside of law, interesting subject matter & broader perspective.

aw classes Cons

Poor coordination with the law school, very expensive, tough job prospects in 2nd year summer

The Bottom Line

An amazing program with a hefty price-tag

You don’t graduate with your original law or original MGA year, Poor coordination between faculties the program is new & many find (e.g. midterms scheduled during it to be poorly organized, first year OCIs), compressing everything into courses criticized as particularly three years means you miss out on underwhelming academically, most a lot of useful law courses. of the internships you could with with IHRP anyway.

Underwhelming courses and some Worth it if you really love the suborganizational issues, but the ject matter (also depends a lot on program is still in its infancy and the specific programs) should be given a chance to grow.

JD/MBA

JD/MGA

I would recommend this program to other JDs who are interested in the field

This combined program improves my job prospects

80%

80%

70%

70%

60%

60%

50%

50%

40%

40%

30%

30%

y Agree 20%

20%

10%

10%

0% Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neutral

“It has exposed me to content

that I would not have had the opportunity to study in law school.

”

- MGA Student

Agree

Strongly Agree

JD/MA JD/MBA

0% Strongly Disagree

“Fourth year is somewhat

strange as both your initial law school class and your initial business school class have both graduated, leaving you as somewhat of a ‘super senior’

”

- MBA Student

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly Agree

“The program cannot decide

whether they want to have a professional or academic focus.

”

- MGA Student

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MBA Program Most Popular JD/MBA

JD/MGA

The Non-law part of my combined program is organized & well-administered

JD/MA JD/MBA

“[The JD/MA in Economics] is

80%

a nice break from law school. The program is much smaller, [there is] more interaction with fellow students and faculty and it is great for those interested in competition and international trade laws.

70% 60% 50% 40%

”

30% 20%

y Agree

- JD/MA Student

10%

0% Strongly Disagree

Disagree

“The classes at

the business school allow for creativity, teamwork, presentations, and general polishing of professional skills. The careers office at Rotman is amazing.

”

- MBA Student

Neutral

Agree

Strongly Agree

If I had to start over, I would still choose to do this combined program 80% 70% 60% 50% 40% 30% 20% 10% 0% Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Strongly Agree

I enjoy my non-law classes

I am learning a lot in my non-law classes 70%

70%

60%

60%

50%

50%

40%

40%

30%

30%

20%

20% 10%

10% 0% Strongly Disagree

Agree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly Agree

0% Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly Agree

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Famous Last Words...

Life as a Lonely 4L

help but feel like children: Our class in both the law school and the business school (the year in each school that we ow do you think it feels when on started with) has graduated, found jobs, your first day of 4L, a 3L comes written the bar (or CFA) and have been up to you and says, “Hey... umm... working full time with an income while I thought you were supposed to gradu- we (mainly me) are still struggling to ate last year?” Apparently, the answer is make it to biweekly, 10:30am and 2:10pm “awkward” – for both people (it happened classes. Pathetic! to Lauren Epstein – you can ask her!).

Like 3L senioritis, 4L is senioritis plus This year, there are twelve 4Ls roam- a little ennui on the side: Classes have ing the halls of Flavelle – all JD/MBAs in lost their appeal (even the ones you saved our final year. Describing 4L is a bit like your only “A” to get into), we’ve been to describing a victory lap in high school – it law ball too many times before, and it’s sounds really awful to most people (in the exhausting having to play nice if we want eyebrows raised, “oh that’s great” kind in on any note sharing or group study. of way) but it really isn’t as awful as you Yet, in addition to the laundry list of 4L may initially expect. And if it is as awful complaints, there are some surprising as you expected, well – we’re your elders upsides. We’ve got school ‘figured out’ (so to speak) so just lisenough to know how ten to us anyways, put things work and how to a smile on your face and stay stress-free, so this say thank you. You’re year has been pretty rewelcome. laxed.

The primary feeling is Personally, I found that of being an outsider, 4L was the perfect year because you just don’t see to go on exchange, since the same friendly faces in I didn’t feel like I was the halls anymore. We’ve missing anything. We got the rest of the people can take on part-time in the joint program, the work or volunteering handful of second year with ease, work out evfriends we’ve made, and a ery day and still catch a few keeners who we recogfull night of sleep. Plus, PHOTO: ANDREW ROBERTSON as we no longer have as nize from classes last year.

That adds to about… 20 Somehow libertarian blowhard many friends with free Andrew Robertson didn’t get people. time, we are less broke I feel obliged to add here that the rea- than we thought we’d be since we no lonson we don’t know the current 3Ls so well ger drink 4 days a week! The boys even is that in their first year, when we oth- noted that being a 4L has been great for erwise would have bonded, we spent the “macking mad bitties [women] at pub entire year getting through our first year night.” More practically, we are also all MBA, secluded in the halls of Rotman. ready to leave school and start our profesInterestingly though, we also feel old and sional careers (and awesome future life) wizened, since we’ve been around forever. already.

Our first year profs (Benson, Roach, SosSo I suggest life as a 4L, especially for sin) literally didn’t even teach some of the 1Ls considering adding the MBA or you and Sossin is now the dean of another MGA to your list of degrees. Do it – you law school. We don’t even understand the certainly won’t regret it. I’m sure I’ll look UV references to “new” profs like Dubber. back at life after 3 months (or days) of Nevertheless, despite feeling wizened real work and wish I had a fifth year, but about the ways of law school, we can’t for now – goodbye and goodluck!

By Amanda Melvin (3L)

H

You are Amazing

Week tent and sat down next to Michael Sabet, my overwhelming impression has been one of admiration for the quality of atrick Hartford, that clever devil, the student body gathered here. I rememused flattery—a most effective de- ber on that day being struck by the fact vice—to urge me to write another that I had never before been immersed in article for Ultra Vires. While the more an environment comprised almost entiresensible part of me was throwing up flags ly of ambitious, intelligent, and engaged that I have more serious deadlines to at- individuals. Admittedly, I was most sustend to in March, it took only the slightest ceptible to being impressed at that point massaging of my ego before I was helpless in time—as I was sitting next to Sabet to resist Patrick’s request. As a result, I of all people, and had just left the backnow find myself sitting in my armchair waters of Manitoba—but the truth is, on a Saturday morning feeling mildly my initial impression has never worn stressed because I have to produce an ar- off. Unlike some things where the closer ticle in short order; am drawing blanks you look the more cracks you see (such for possible article topics; and am finding as any of the rooms in this Faculty, for it increasingly difficult to suppress my example), the more closely I’ve examined concerns about how little school work I’ve the student body, the more I have found done so far this term. my initial impressions to be The Opinions Editor supported: everyone here of this paper, Andrew really is that intelligent, Robertson, will no doubt clever, driven and involved. find it laughable when he Second, I have been surreviews this submission prised and impressed that that I would feel stressed you are so much fun: I cerabout writing something tainly never expected to as frivolous as a UV arbe able to get a law degree ticle. Rumour has it that while doing so little work he has punched out sevand being almost constanteral UV articles in mere ly entertained. From one hours before a deadline. nerd to another, you are far However, seeing as I do cooler than you appear. not rely on the assistance Finally, contrary to the of a bottle of scotch to PHOTO: ANDREW ROBERTSON reputation that precedes do my work, I think it is Somehow libertarian blowhard this place, and which perfectly defensible that Andrew Robertson didn’t get the persists with ignorant I am unable to approach non-U of T law students, my task with Andrew’s level of ease. you are a modest bunch (except, of course, To save myself from this dilemma of when you go away to Law Games or Moot not knowing what to write, but also car- Competitions). While most of you have ing what people think when they read much to brag about, I have found that few this, I’ve decided to employ Patrick’s tech- of you do. I assure you that this quality nique: I will use flattery to win you over. serves to heighten your attractiveness.

I intend to flatter you Justin NasseriAs Mahatma Gandhi observed, imitation style: I will not say things just because is the best form of flattery. Perhaps, then, they sound nice, but rather, will offer you the greatest compliment that I can pay you my discerning and truthful assessment of is to assure you that, as I go forward, I will what I have found to be attractive about be doing my best to imitate the fine qualiyou. And that is this: you are roundly ad- ties that I have seen in you. Thank you U mirable group of people. Since the first of T, it has been a pleasure and a privilege day of law school when I entered the O- to have been in your midst.

P

By Lauren Heuser (3L)

Fazon Polizia: Summer Fashion Advice W

By Fazon Polizia (2L)

ith Summer nearly upon us, we believe it is time for our annual (but not actually annual) column on summer fashion tips for various types of (un)employment. Please follow the exact suggestions outlined below.

Except if your Drew Valentine, in which case just wear black, no matter what.

Black on black on black, whaaaaaatttttt!

Bay Street Fashion Whether you’re a 1L precocious and silly enough to spend your summer after 1L working for a firm, or a 2L desperate for cash and job security, or just a person that wants to fit in at Ki or O&B Cafe, you should be dressing for success.

For the men, wear a suit, with a nice crisp shirt and a tie that allows you to show some personality. Iron your shirts, shine your shoes, and shave that god damn scruff. This will serve you 4 out of

the 7 days a week you will be working.

For the women, pantsuits are acceptable, but why the fuck you would wear pants when you can wear a skirt in the summer is beyond me. Its going to be hot! (Am I referring to the weather or the skirt? You tell me.) Shortsleeved and sleeveless tops are your best friends, but as always, to maintain your dignity, avoid anything low cut. If you’re fashionable enough to pull it off, throw on a silk scarf, a broach or a trendy hair accessory – but not too trendy. You don’t want to be that girl. For all of you, men included, a healthy dose of foundation to hide the eye circles and hangovers will be necessary.

Research Assistant Wear whatever you want! But if you really want to impress, wear khakis and a sweater vest to complete the look of someone who is going to spend all day every day in Bora communing with a carrel. Don’t dress sloppy, because your carrel will become your life partner and

they expect a certain level of dress or they won’t charge your laptop or let you flick their switch to turn their lights on. That’s right, library carrels have feelings too. So don’t let them down.

Public Interest Dress like you’re a member of Occupy Wall Street that has discovered the joys of modern plumbing. Dressing like a hippie is fine, but don’t smell like one. DOS: Shorts, flip flops, v-necks, tank tops, sundresses, baseball caps, boat shoes, caring. DON’TS: Suits, sweaters, aggressive attitude (this isn’t Bay Street!), conservative politics.

Volunteering abroad Whatever the local fashion dictates. We don’t want to necessarily get you in trouble, so make sure to follow the lex loci.

Non-Law Well this should be obvious. Dress like the job dictates. If you’re working at summer camp, you wear whatever you want.

If you’re working for a bank, you probably need to dress like you don’t care about poor

people. Again, the lex loci is the important factor here. Generally, dressing like a law student at a non-law job will be a sure way to pick up your unintelligent co-workers.

Unemployed If you’re an unemployed 1L you should be wearing the smell of stale beer and sweat, because you should be enjoying your summer by partying and enjoying the sun, something you will never do again with the same degree of freedom.

Ever. Trust us. If you’re an unemployed 2L you should be dressing for success while you run around trying to actualize your visions for a lucrative future. Try not to smell or look sad, because articling interviews are coming up and you don’t want to look out of place in a suit. If you’re an unemployed 3L we have no advice, because the shame and misery you are currently wearing is clothing enough.

Enjoy your summers everyone, and remember, the Fazon Polizia is watching you!

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

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DIVERSIONS

Ask Doctor Valencia

Dr. Valencia has a Phd. In relationship studies from the University of Rangoon. He has been given the annual Dr. Ruth prize for achievement in relationship counseling seven times in his six year career. He is recently divorced.

Dear Dr. V, I am one of the most conservative men in law school, and yet am always attracted to left-wing women.

In my time, I’ve dated hippies, fooled around with environmentalists, and slept with feminists. What gives?

Sincerely, Confused Conservative

Dear Confused, It happens buddy, and to the best of us.

As for hippies, I myself have been intoxicated by that musty patchouli and hypnotized by the swinging dreadlocks. The amazing thing is how quickly it happens, One minute I’m giving away change out of sympathy for the hippie’s dog, the next thing I know I’m stoned and engaged in an “epic” glow stick war at a Phish show.

If it wasn’t for the stench of that untamed under-carriage bringing me back from zombieland, I may still be there.

The environmentalists are totally different. Loving all of the earth’s creatures is a sweet gesture, sweet enough to penetrate even the most hardened of conservative hearts.

My guess is that’s exactly what happened to you, full penetration. It’s amazing how those environmentalists one second are protesting petroleum extraction, and the next second cramming a petroleum-based butt plug in your Arthur Anderson. They’re wild in the sack! That’s not a bad thing. Just remember to bring water-based lube to better fit in with their ideals next time.

As for feminists, welcome to the 21st century. All women are feminists, at least until they have kids and realize how much more they enjoy spending time with their families instead of living some asshole boss’s dream.

Better put, all young women are feminists, or at least they should be. So embrace it. Women make men better, right? Aren’t you a conservative with a love of competition in the market place?

Shouldn’t that competition include the bedroom? If both of you are competing to be the better lover, you both win. It certainly won’t be a race to the bottom, at least not in the standard meaning of that phrase…

Best, Dr. V

Dear Dr. V, What advice do you have for a recently single law student? I’ve tried tanning, lifting weights and drinking more beer, but to no avail.

Sincerely, Not Josh Mandryk.

Dear Not Josh, You are in great shape. I mean that both literally and figuratively. You are Johnny Bravo handsome. You are the vegan friendly option that ladies should be dying to get with. I’d be amazed if you are genuinely facing any issue with attention from would be suitors. However, from time to time after recently becoming single, people feel that their “game” is gone. This leads to a nuanced lack of confidence, a certain pensiveness which runs against your cause.

Self-confidence, without being arrogant is crucial to your success. You need to be assertive, but in a welcome way. Here are a couple tips to show the world your new found confidence.

Get a small tattoo on your peck, then post a picture of it on facebook. Just make sure the photo is of your entire shirtless upper body and the tattoo can’t be made out. I call this the Lewarne method of exuding confidence. I should mention this only works if you are jacked like Chris, which I think you are. In fact I’d say go through CL’s facebook profile, find every shirtless photo and recreate them for your own profile. Not only does this scream confidence, but shows off your sense of humor which will also get you in at least two skits going forward at Law Follies. Dancing has been a confidence indicator since time immemorial. One look at a person’s dance floor persona can determine if they are gonna be Billy Bob Thornton in Monster between the sheets.

I have full faith, Not Josh, that you are already dancing like nobody is watching,

but you can take this to the next level by working in the field. What I’m saying is you should start stripping. It will show you are comfortable with your sexuality as you will most certainly be dancing for gay dudes, with a few hot ladies (I’m talking to you Mrs. Wadsworth). You will learn some new moves as well. I believe the biggest benefit will be in your attire.

If you take late enough classes next semester you may have to go straight to work from school. This means wearing your “work clothes” to school. Nothing screams confidence like a bow tie and cuff links but no shirt.

The upshot Not Josh is you need to take your shirt off more often. Hell, Robertson has been taking his shirt off regularly in a pretty effective display of confidence for the last three years. If that guy is doing well, so can you.

Good luck, Dr. V Dear Dr. Valencia, If the recruiting lawyer snuck out and left money on the dresser the next morning, is that taxable as a signing bonus?

- Ashley Extra-Mile Dear Ashley, Don’t deposit it and don’t mention it.

There is nothing more damaging to your reputation than having a public official call you a whore on the record. In No. 275 v. MNR (1955) the court described the taxpayer who was claiming that her income from prostitution was non-taxable, as “sordid and contemptible”. Obviously I find your actions savvy and commendable, and I’d hate for you to face the same verbal beat-down as Ms. 275, especially since you may no longer have the luxury of a number assigned to cover your name.

Best, Dr. V

Use your smartphone’s camera and the free ScanLife app to scan the barcode. You can get the free ScanLife app at www.2dscan.com.

TORONTO • NEW YORK • CALGARY

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

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UV Whisk(e)y Review| Our Largest Tasting

C

By Drew Valentine (2L)

anadian whisky, by law must be produced and aged in Canada, be distilled from a fermented mash of cereal grain, be aged in wood barrels (of a capacity not larger than 700 L) for not less than three years, and “possess the aroma, taste and character generally attributed to Canadian whisky”.

Canadian whisky usually contains a large amount of corn spirits, but due to the traditional use of the rye grain in producing whisky in Canada, “Canadian whisky” and “rye whisky” are often used interchangeably.

Canadian whisky is known for being lighter in color and smell than Irish, Scotch or Bourbon, but very smooth tast-

ing. One interesting difference between Canadian whisky is, like Scotch, there is no “e” in “whisky” unlike Bourbon or Irish “whiskey”.

We at UV decided to sample three fine Canadian whiskies and report back with our findings.

We chose to try them on the rocks and in a Manhattan with a cigar accompaniment.

Our esteemed panel included UV whisky review standards Editor-in Chief Matt Brown, Andrew Robertson, Liam Churchill, Danielle Glatt, and yours truly, plus some

Team Ever Samples Rye fresh(ish) faces including Albert Lin, Jennifer Bush, Cary Ferguson, Sierra Robart, Michelle Jennet, MPG, and Gord Houseman.

If you received an invite and decided not to come – you missed a great time, poor form on your part.

Canadian Club Classic The Classic is a 12 year old blended whisky that Canadian Club describes as “beautiful straight, but also makes phenomenal cocktails”. We’ll see about that.

Century Reserve 15/25 This blended whisky produced by Highwood Distilleries in Alberta was chosen based on the distinctive long neck bottle. ( I

know. This shit is mad sophitiocated -Ed) Upon looking up the description on the Highwood website, it is discovered that the 15/25 means that the whisky has been aged at least 15 years, but up to 25…

I’m not sure the distillery not knowing how old the whisky is bodes well for its consumption.

Forty Creek Premium Barrel Select Barrel Select is a blend of high quality grains consisting of rye, barley and corn.

According to the Forty Creek website – “to highlight the best characteristics of each grain, they are distilled separately in small batches in our copper pot still and patiently aged in American White Oak barrels”.

Considering the amount of awards brought h o m e by Forty Creek, (at least that’s what it says there on the bottle) we may have a ringer.

Forty Creek Premium Barrel Select

Quote of the Round

Winner Half of the group choose the distinctive long neck bottle with gold lettering of Century Reserve as the best looking bottle. Apparently resembling an Alize bottle is not a bad thing to this group.

Last Place

“that bottle looks like a butt plug” - MB discussing the Century Reserve bottle

On the Rocks

Last Place Jen Bush described it as having “not much bite” and “a hint of vanilla”. Albert called it “the Coors Light of Canadian whisky”. It may have been too watered down. 0 of 12 votes

Runner Up The reserve was described as having no burn, and perhaps a touch thicker. I felt it had a burnt sugar front and a longer finish than the Canadian Club. Others were less enthusiastic, Sierra describing it as “artificial vanilla and a cold burn like drinking freon.” 3 of 12 Votes

Winner While everyone agreed that the Forty Creek had the most flavor, not all agreed that was a good thing. Matt called it “the pride of Canada” and Albert said it had a “hint of leather”. Gord felt it was the only whisky on the rocks that tasted like Rye. Liam felt it was sour, I thought it had a burnt rubber smokiness I didn’t care for. Michelle felt it had too much burn. 9 votes of 12

“I don’t know what this tastes like. I’m just here for the kicks” - MPG

The Manhattan/ Cigar round

Last Place This Manhattan’s chances may have been sabotaged by poor mixology, but it was hands down the least enjoyed drink of the night. Cary, Liam, and Sierra all failed to finish this drink. Matt said “Andrew, I don’t want to talk shit on your Manhattan, but this is a shit Manhattan.” Cary called it, “the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.” I find that hard to believe.

Albert felt it was “very good”. 0 of 12 votes

Runner up This Manhattan came after a terribly mixed Canadian Club Manhattan, so a great deal of the commentary was comparative, including Matt’s “100% better Manahattan, are you serious! (he picks up the voice recorder and starts pointing) Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you…..” Sierra, with the only descriptive comment said, “Barbie came w/ a small bottle of perfume - tastes like that mixed with cherry cough syrup - most girls will understand”. I’ll take her word for it. 3 of 12 votes

Winner This may have won merely because it was the third attempt at a Manhattan, and the mix was finally right, but the Forty Creek Manhattan was described as the most balanced of the bunch.

Albert felt it “tastes ethnic – like a hint of cinnamon from the Orient”. Andrew proclaimed it was “the best” and that he had “called it at 4:12 this afternoon”. It should be mentioned that at 4:12 we were waiting for him to meet us prior to going to the Summerhill LCBO. 9 of 12 votes

“I should start by saying I don’t like maraschino cherries, but I also don’t like shitty mixed drinks” - Sierra

Bottle and Packaging

Canadian Club Classic

Century Reserve 15/25

Runner Up Four of us chose the Canadian Club as the best looking, due to its classic styling.

In conclusion, Forty Creek is the runaway winner. This is not surprising once one sees the number of awards won by this distillery. Century Reserve was an interesting contender, not ready for the

title just yet, but still somewhat drinkable and will look nice on your bar. Not a bad choice if you are looking for something off the beaten path. Canadian Club was the night’s big loser, however it may

have been the victim of placement in the rounds. Going first during the rocks round led to it being a bit watered down, due to a delay in starting, and going first in the Manhattan round made it an ex-

perimental mix. Maybe a second try for this Canadian standard is warranted.

Thanks UV for a great year of Whisk(e) y reviewing, and everyone who joined us for drinks. Till next year.

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

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Prohibition Rye

What should we do with this 100 year rye?

L

Mugabe Stein

Attorneys at Law Josh Stark (Partner)

Congratulations on securing a job at Slatter, Stein & Mugabe! As one of our summer 1L hires, we require you to fill out the following automated form. The answers to each question will appear on your firm profile page, along with the photo we just took using the webcam on your computer. Hope you were dressed!

By Drew Valentine (2L)

ast November (or should I say Movember) a few of us at UV had the pleasure of heading down to the south shore of Lake Erie, in my home town of Erie Pennsylvania where we did American thanksgiving properly.

We stayed in a house on the lake that was built in the late 19th century, and was used as a booze running point during prohibition.

The story goes that the owner of the house had no problem with the rum-runners using his dock on the lake as long as they left him some bottles for his private stock. When the current owner bought the house in the early 1980s, he attended an estate auction and bought the contents of the wine cellar, which included several bottles of this prohibition era alcohol. We were lucky enough to get the green light to open a bottle of Rye that had been corked since the 1930’s at the latest.

The tasting crew included Bradley Wiffen, Lauren Heuser, Akosua Matthews, Dr. Dale Wiebe (Akosua’s fiancée), Andrew Robertson, Matt Brown, Maggie Fish and yours truly. Thanks to the delicate touch of Dr. Wiebe’s surgical hands, we were able to get a cork screw into the cork without it dissolving. Once uncorked the Rye was very fragrant. The taste was very smooth and very flavorful. Here are the tasting notes:

Slatter

Brad, a regular rye drinker said, “relative to other ryes, it’s very sweet. A vanilla aftertaste” Dr. Wiebe, a regular Lord Byron, said the smell was “throwing caramel up my nose”. The taste was “a pad of butter melting on my tongue.” Lauren felt it had a bit of a smoky flavor, which Robertson felt was somewhat dusty. We all agreed it was incredibly smooth.

My take was very similar to Brad’s in that it was very sweet, almost like a bourbon, which leads me to believe it probably had a high proportion of corn spirits in it, much like modern Canadian whiskies. It almost tasted syrupy, and was unbelievably smooth, like some of the alcohol had evaporated out over time. Unlike some of the other really old booze that can taste like chemicals, it still had a very palatable flavor, which was sweet and fragrant.

Tasting this 80+ year old whisky was a real treat. Thanks to all who came out and shared in tasting a bit of history.

1. What will you do with your first paycheque?

2. If you could travel anywhere right now, which of our offices would you choose?

3. Favourite quotation?

4. What would your colleagues at SS&M be surprised to learn about you?

5. How will you conceal it from them?

6. What hobbies will you be giving up to work at our firm?

7. What drives you?

8. What is the proper way to slaughter a lamb?

9. Now imagine the lamb has human features and a frail voice.

10. Who is John Galt?

11. If you can, recall the last emotion you felt and describe why it made you weaker.

12. If you hadn’t gone to law school, what kind of banker would you be?

13. Auto-asphyxiate yourself.

14. In this space, upload a nude photo of a former or current lover 15. Lastly: our research shows that humour can be an effective tool to smother moral qualms. The positive associations of laughter and the shared sense of community created by comedy serve to build consensus on the acceptability of questionable views. Thus, lawyers and law students seek out humour which takes as its premise an obsession with wealth, status and harmful lifestyle choices.

Write a short humorous piece, 500 words or less, to salve our collective moral ruin.

At our rm, it’s not about individual goals, it’s about collective achievement.

On January 1, 2012, Macleod Dixon joined Norton Rose Canada creating an energy and mining powerhouse within Norton Rose Group.

2900 lawyers 43 offices 5 continents 1 vision thenortonrosedifference.com

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FEBRUARY 15, 2012 ultravires.ca

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UV Cooks: Ablaza Style Ginger Stew Culinary genius Jeremy Ablaza is gonna take you to back to cookin’ school!

By Jeremy Ablaza (3L)

T

his is a really easy, really tasty braise that works really well if you make a large batch in advance, then keep in the fridge so the flavors meld and mature. Also, this is a great time to make this, since there’s gotta be at least one person you know who’s got a can or two of Guinness that they can’t stand to look at anymore after some St. Patty’s Day festivities.

The ginger gives a nice twist, and will caramelize nicely in the cooking process. My version assumes you have a pot that can go from stovetop to oven. If you don’t, you can either do the whole thing on the stovetop, or do the initial searing on the stovetop and transfer everything to a deep roasting pan that you then cover tightly with foil, then put in the oven. If you have a slow cooker, you could also do the first steps of the recipe in a pot and then put all the ingredients in the slow cooker, then walk away from it. Finally, when peeling the ginger, just take a spoon and scrape it roughly against the skin. You will take off the rough bark without losing too much ginger.

Also, I acknowledge that this takes quite an investment of time up front, but an hour’s work and a couple hours’ waiting-around time at home pays off later. If you’re in a rush to reheat this for dinner just pop it in the microwave and serve over some rice or with bread. If you aren’t in too much of a rush, roast up some potatoes and pop this in the oven at high heat for fifteen or twenty minutes to further develop a nice crust on the meat.

Ingredients: • • • • • •

Beef short ribs Half a can of Guinness Beef broth A few cloves of garlic, finely minced A large chunk of ginger, peeled and sliced into thin disks Carrots

JEREMY ABLAZA Known as the “Chuck Norris of cooking”, Ablaza once forced a McDonalds hamburger to turn into a delicious rare steak just by growling at it. He once ran a 7 diamond restaurant by himself and was also the personal chef of King Hammond V of Jordan for several years. His famous clients have included Madonna, Eric Idle and President Obama.

Recipe: • •

• •

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Sear the short ribs in canola oil on at least three sides. This will take probably three minutes a side. Make sure not to crowd the meat in the pan. I know it’s a bit of a pain, but don’t take shortcuts because it’s all downhill after this.

Take out the ribs and in the same pot, brown the garlic, ginger, and carrots.

Pour in the Guinness a little bit at a time, stirring vigorously to loosen the tasty goodness at the bottom.

PHOTO COURTESY of JEREMY “COOKING GRAND MASTER” ABLAZA Stew the Ablaza way. It should have a delicious brown hue after you totally don’t burn it. “It was super tasty yummers when I tried it out,” said a UV editor.

Professor Portraits: 1L Edition

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

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FEATURES

US Election Knowledge to Impress Your Friends Resident American leftie gives the low-down on Obama’s electoral math in 2012

By Leo Elias (2L)

W

ith the election less than a year away, this article will give you a biased-yet-reasonable, stepby-step analysis of the basics of what you need to know to feign interest so you can get back to studying the things you really need to know about – like 18th century Property Law and how to help securities holders sue people. So put down those wonkish books and time to brush up on some good old-fashioned hackery.

I. Electoral Math: For those unfamiliar with how the US elects their presidents, each state is awarded a certain number of electoral votes based on the population of the state with a minimum of three. Here is a map of the “decided”

II. The New Electoral Map The 2010 US census resulted in some minor changes in the distribution of electors. Consequently, the electoral map can produce some pretty fascinating results.

This new map will open some interesting possibilities.

Here is a potential Obama win even without the two key swing states Ohio and Florida:

III. The Swing States: Heartland: Iowa, Wisconsin and Minneapolis.

As Chicago’s native son, these states knew Obama early on. Though these states tend to skew democratic, the short lived popularity of Minnesota’s home-grown Michele Bachmann and the influx of Republicans in Iowa may have changed that tide. However, the up and down primary battle may have left the locals with a bad taste in their mouth for the final GOP candidate.

Rustbelt: New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Ohio Ohio will remain the true swing state with its outcome up in the air. Without PA’s strong democratic centres and FL’s aging population, Ohio Buckeyes will be looking solely on the economy – meaning the unemployment percentage. New Hampshire has a surprising Libertarian streak for the Northeast and Romney’s popularity in the primary may push it Republican for the general.

states. Blue for Democrats, Red for Republicans and Grey for “undecided.”

To give some context, Obama won all of the above swing states and Indiana in 2008.

Pennsylvania, Florida and Ohio have been billed as “must-win” states for Obama. But don’t believe that such a difficult hat trick is necessary for his win. When examining the Electoral math with a bit more depth, it is clear that two out of three makes for an easy victory and one out of three does not preclude success for President Obama.

For his GOP competitor things are a bit more challenging. The GOP presidential nominee would have to win at least two of the three swing states even if he was able to wrangle a Midwest (Iowa) or Southwest (Nevada/ Colorado) state from Obama’s grip.

The reality is, however, that Pennsylvania (PA) may not be in play as much as Ohio and Florida. Pennsylvania has two high-population, heavily democratic metropolitan areas and the small but densely packed island of blue in a sea of red that is State College, PA. Pennsylvania also hasn’t elected a Republican candidate since 1988. While not a lock like Illinois or New York, the state is much more Democratic than many have been lead to believe.

Ohio and Florida are too close to make any legitimate prediction, but if the GOP continues its policy of trying to bring down spending, it will be hard to imagine how to do that without cutting Social Security, Medicare or Defence, the three pillars of the Federal US budget. Cutting the first two is poison in Florida and, barring a Ron Paul upset, the third one is barely on the table for the GOP. Given that reality, it appears very likely that Obama will be able to win Florida with a properly carried out campaign focussing on entitlements. If Obama wins FL and PA, the his victory is almost a forgone conclusion.

Here is another example of Obama winning with only Ohio:

And what analysis would be complete without a prediction for Obama/Romney 2012 race:

Southern Swing: Virginia, North Carolina, Florida Democrats at this point are ready to call winning North Carolina in 2008 a fluke like Indiana and aren’t holding much hope out for winning it again in 2012.

However Virginia has a new influx of left-leaning folks that work in DC but live in Virginia’s northern suburbs turning the state that formerly housed the Confederacy’s capital into a newly minted Democratic garrison.

Florida depends on how much GOP Tea Partiers scare the old folks.

Wild West: Nevada, Colorado and New Mexico New Mexico has a strong Democratic streak and Nevada even re-elected the highly unpopular Harry Reid in 2008 in a staunch rejection of Tea Party politics. Colorado does not appear likely to flip not out of a love for Obama, but out of a rejection of GOP candidates. Obama may be able to take advantage of the fact that Colorado appears to re-elect unfavourable candidates, like Michael Bennet in 2010, if the alternative is even more unfavourable.

It’s a shame that Michele Bachmann dropped out.

Here is my prediction if she were the GOP candidate:

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MARCH 28, 2012 ultravires.ca

ULTRA VIRES

DIVERSIONS

An Ode to SLS Elections

By Bora Dickson (6L)

Upon every spring term dreary, Upon students worn and weary, Who are neither wild nor wary, About anything anymore; About all that does not matter, And the details of the latter, Will be heaped a pile of patter, That they really ought ignore.

For some student politicians It’s a chance to play patricians, So they ramp up their emissions Of arcane and useless lore.

For the student news reporters It’s a chance to follow orders, And present themselves as porters Of all truth that’s fit to bore.

But all others, you included, Should have long ago concluded That it’s best to be secluded From this democratic chore.

So when next you fail at caring About platforms odd and erring, Do not think you will be faring Any worse off than before.

And upon the next election Of a student council section Do not bother with selection, But do something you love more.

Crux Verbum Answer Key

From February’s Issue ACROSS 3. Cuerrier novel verb (vitiate) 5. Guzzled gastropod? (donoghue) 6. Untitled territory (terranullius) 8. Rogue automotive dealings (lewis) 9. A difficult (fetal?) position (dobson) 10. Spicy consideration (peppercorn) 13. Low-brow publication (obiterdictum) 15. Problematic policy prong (annstest) 17. Spy’s memoir that spurred suit (nootherchoice) 19. Butter farmer fail (margarinereference) 23. Yorick diminished (thinskull) 26. Shredder jam (antonpiller) 29. Lactation legislation (infanticide) 30. Levite’s defense (nonfeasance) DOWN 1. Deliberately discarded eyewear? (wilfullyblind) 2. Careless caffeinator (mcdonalds) 4. Squat dwelling (adversepossession) 7. Rogers’ summery malady (sunstroke) 11. Rickshaw regulation? (cabrankrule) 12. Polynesian Laskin? (borabora) 14. Awkward locale (forumnonconveniens) 16. Negligent baker’s best seller (torte) 18. Fallacious influenza fix (carbolicsmokeball) 20. Mustapha’s terror (fly) 21. Denning’s delight (cricket) 22. Doctrine for a child beguiled? (allurement) 24. Acoustic calamity (blh) 25. Deciduous doctrine (livingtree) 27. Dynamite track! (palsgraf) 28. Students in sufficient proximity (pubnight)

Law Students’ Shit Does Stink And it sounds funny too!

S

By Kristen Pennington (1L)

till flushed from the first round of exams, just the thought of writing finals has me pooped. My social life having long gone down the crapper, I have recently spent a lot of time at my favourite centre table in Bora, pondering why the bathrooms even have walls at all.

Quite frankly, as stress mounts, it appears that law students’ bathroom etiquette has gone to shit.

There may be some confusion as to how one should go about using Bora’s bathrooms – understandably so, given the dearth of signage in the library. Let’s review a few tips.

Don’t, under any circumstance, use the washroom after a 3L. Like their class attendance and social prowess, their bathroom etiquette is on the decline.

Do lock the door. You’ve worked hard to keep the goods under wraps the entire year, sloppy pub nights be damned!

Don’t void those efforts now by letting a lucky(?) classmate partake in some unexpected muffin madness.

Don’t underestimate the absorptive powers of toilet paper. Time and time

again, I hear the telltale sound of someone mummifying their hand. This inevitably leads to overflowing toilets and dampens the otherwise effervescent personality of the custodian.

Do pee with purpose. Those walls are paper thin, baby, and no one wants their stream to fall below the curve.

Don’t sit backwards, sidewise, diagonally or otherwise mount the toilet in any creative fashion. Repulsive smears and splatters evidence some sort of strange new trend in toilet sitting that is more alarming than a missing lectern.

Do flush once, and do so with confidence.

I frequently hear several small, consecutive flushes. This leads me to believe either that you are trying to cover the sound of something else (in which case, see the next tip) or that you lack conviction.

Per a recent CDO lunchtime workshop, no one hires a hesitant flusher.

Don’t assume that the first floor bathrooms are all-purpose. Third small group assignment got you stress puking?

Regretting that Indian food you had for lunch?

Welcome to the Bora’s basement washroom, where you can excrete in relative privacy.

Bora Laskin Law Library’s Main Floor Lavatory.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CARY FERGUSON

ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

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ultravires.ca MARCH 28, 2012

ULTRA VIRES

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FEATURES

UV Eats Out: The Regrets Are Mounting Canton Chilli

I

By Drew Valentine (2L)

keep telling myself things will be different this time. I insist that I won’t subject myself to the peer pressure of my self-destructive colleagues who clearly have far superior metabolisms. I set out well intended to write this column, in an effort to find delicious late night eats, but it is becoming a review of cheap, trash Chinese food. I’d love to think what I’m doing is more than merely plucking the low hanging fruit in an effort to fill up pages of Matt Brown’s trash rag. But at some point the rubber meets the road, and as of late that road has been Spadina. Hopefully I won’t feel like I need a rubber for this night’s dining experience, unlike New Sky and King Lobster. We enter Canton Chili.

It seems our presence is not welcome, almost immediately on arrival. I’m not sure if its the sight of Andrew Robertson, or the evil cackle from Brown as one member of our party shouts “cold tea” like a hip hop hype-man upon entry its 12:30. We are savages nobody wants around. We are loud, crass, unapologetic and in fact, self-righteous. Its to our great benefit this evening that the staff of

Canton Chili is welcoming and gracious.

The interior of Canton Chili is much cleaner and more modern looking than the K(a)ng Lobster or New Sky. Further the staff seems about 20 years younger and has much less of the comedic, snakeoil salesman vibe we were getting at the other joints. Jennifer Bush, a new and greatly appreciated face in the mayhem seems to have a rapport with one of the waiters named Sam – a huge asset to our cause. These guys are straight shooters.

Not only do they quickly accommodate with the cold tea, which due to the time is only much appreciated patronizing, but we are told that it is two beers per pot so we could order accordingly.

Our meal starts off with wonton soup for the table. I’m not sure whether the soup was amazing or it was just the perfect antidote for the whisky soaked ache emanating from my belly. Either way a great start. As a point of comparison to the Kang and New Sky, we ordered the crispy ginger beef. The CC ginger beef was very flavorful and had welcome filler cooked into the dish. It was superior to the Kang’s version which is also pretty good. The General Tsao was too spicy for some in the party, but being a lover of spice I found it very enjoyable. Like the ginger beef, the CC General defeated the New Sky and Kang Generals with terrifying efficiency.

Our waiter Sam goaded us into ordering

a vegetable dish, recommending the baby bok choy. This led to a version of “Blue Tail Fly” being sung with the words “Jimmy crack corn” replaced with “baby bok choy”.

Realizing now that that song is about a southern slave rejoicing over the death of his master after possibly having caused it by deliberate negligence, I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of us singing this song as we kill ourselves with cheap booze PHOTO COURTESY of ROGER WIGGLESWORTH and unhealthy food. Canton Chilli is deliciousness incarnate, says Drew Valentine.

Nonetheless the bok choy was delicious, cooked al dente to Good service, tasty food, and clean surroundings (relative to the other dives) leave just enough crunch. Thanks Sam. The standout of the night was the made Canton Chili a great way to polish seafood rice. So often fried rice dishes off our evening. And just to add a cherry can have all the flavor lost in the oil the on top we played credit card roulette. It rice was fried in, but the CC seafood rice came down with Brown vs. Bush, and had all the flavor of the devoured sea just after Bush denied Matt’s offer to split the bill, Bush’s card gets pulled leaving creatures, without the typical heaviness.

In a battle versus New Sky and King Brownie to pay the tab. Thanks Canton Lobster, Canton Chili wins easily. Chili – 3.5 Beam shots out of 4.