CALENDAR now FOOD FOR TALK 8:30 PM
I was really nervous about hosting my dinners. At least with some friends and maybe that’s why I didn’t pick some friends over others. I knew I’d keep in touch with some regardless of if I invited them to my dinner project or not. One of my friends said it best when she said, “It’s probably because you’re really close to them - but outside of your art school and plate context.” She was absolutely right. I was more nervous inviting friends I was closer with to my dinners and talking about my plates with them, not because we weren’t friends, but because we were already close in a different context. I think that’s also why I’m always most scared to show my family the things I do and make.
Caroline
Emily
Luca
Maria
I knew it was bad, I just couldn’t stop Yeah, I feel like we’ve had some very dark times.
But like, yeah, obviously my actions are much healthier now.
It’s so hard to get out of it.
And honestly, I feel like a lot of what makes my actions healthier is just like, fear of going back.
I think that’s the thing, is like, even though I’m not nearly as bad as I was before or in that kind of state, it never really leaves 100%. I’m always still very concerned about what I’m eating and stuff.
Yeah, I agree, I mean, I guess it’s good because like then I’m not doing those actions per se but, I don’t want to live just out of fear either?
Ready fo din din? sent 8:37 PM
I definitely get like that cyclical thinking. Cause when you’re in it, it’s hard to get yourself out of it. I guess, like once you’re in it, you’re in it.
I know I feel like it’s awful because like, I guess you know it’s bad, but then it also shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of talking about, but I totally was, and I didn’t tell anyone.
Yeah with the KIND bars this is like the instance that I remember the most clearly, because I had ordered a box of 24 of them. And then I was just in my dorm room bingeing through all of them and throwing up afterwards because of it. Then only like five minutes afterwards Victoria and Scott walked into the room.
I also look at photos back then, and I’m like, I look normal. I just look like, you know, like a normal person. Happy and smiling, and like, nobody would know, which is the scary part. Like sometimes I look at photos and I’m like, Oh, wait, that’s like during that time, and I’m like, you wouldn’t even be able to tell what was going on behind the door. Yeah it’s scary.
EMILY Looking out for Each Other Have you been to the grocery store lately? I’ve been actually been thinking a lot about what I can afford these days. Like in terms of groceries for sure, but also like in the sense of like what can I afford to do to help other people. Cause I’m still a very young person so I’ve been trying to help buy groceries for my neighbors and such. I guess yeah things like that. That’s amazing Emily! I love that. I think all my neighbors have left now - at least all my roommates have. Yeah I’m still a college student too so still living that college budget life, but just, you know trying my best. Yeah, when I made the plate I was definitely more thinking in terms of being a college student and buying groceries. Like I always want to go to the farmer’s markets to support local farms and stuff, but I’m always so lazy and I’d probably still need to hit up Kroger or something anyways. But yeah, it definitely has a different sentient now. Yeah I feel like a lot of things these days have different sentiments now.
TAKEOUT WITH LOVE
I actually chose to do Asian noodle takeout cause I wanted to support the local stores. And there’s a really good one right near me. Yes, I love that! I’m so glad they’re still open. And I’m running low on groceries and I didn’t feel like cooking either.
Luca
Families and Fishing Do you think it’s an asian thing? I feel like fish, at least with my family, eating fish is not an everyday occasion, it’s like a special occasion when you have guests over, or you eat it when you go out to eat. It’s like Oh, this is my treat to you or like, Oh, this is their treat to me. The other reason was, I thought it seems ironic because it says thank you but the fish is literally dead, ripped to pieces so I was like, this is the fish being sarcastic.
I was thinking about my grandpa. He used to really love fishing and when he was here for maybe like a year, we would walk from our house down to the lake. And like the fish we caught in the lake were mostly sun fish, but we’d eat them for dinner. You’re supposed to have a fishing license, but we didn’t know that then. I also thought of my mom cause she makes fish for special occasions too.
A lot of my family really likes fishing too. I remember one time, some of my cousins and I all went fishing. And I remember I was like so shy, and I’ve never fished before so I was sitting there thinking this is really boring, I’m just waiting. Then people were like touching things around me, and I was like la dee da dee da. And then I had a fish on my line, but I didn’t realize it till my cousin came and got it.
So Luca why did you pick lasagna? Well, we met in Perugia, and Italy is important to me, especially now that I’m back in China. I really miss all you guys and I wanted to make something that reminded me of our time in Italy. That’s really sweat! I miss Italy too. I’ve never actually made lasagna before. Me neither! But I wanted to try something new, and if I end up working there I should probably know how to. Oh wait, do you know if you’re going back or when? I’ll be back to finish my degree, but idk when.
Maria
Are you home home? I know, I know. I picked prawn tacos of all things. And by the way they are called prawns not shrimp or whatever it is you say. But I picked them because I used to eat them all the time when I was little growing up with my grandma during the summers. But yes, I know there’s the whole ‘I’m Australian stereotype” - blah blah blah. I get it. I’m just glad you said it so I didn’t have to. They do taste really good. But it’s definitely called shrimp. Prawns are different. They’re like bigger I think or something like that.
How are you doing? I’m fine. I am at home. What about you? I’m doing alright. How are things in Perugia? I actually moved back to Australia. I was really sad to leave Perugia, but I felt really isolated. I couldn’t determine when this would all end so I thought it would be better to go back to Sydney. It’s why I liked your plate so much too. Yeah I totally feel that. It would be hard in Perugia by yourself. How are you feeling now at home?
I definitely feel better being with family. We can still leave the house to exercise which is better than in Italy. So, it’s not too bad here. Are you at home now? I’m actually still at school. I don’t really know when I’m gonna go back home. I know I’ll go back home before my mom’s birthday, but I also don’t know if I wanna go back home home yet. I get like that they’re just worried for me, but I still like that I have my own autonomy here. At home, it’ll be different, and it’ll really be the end of college.