Seven Ways To Say ‘No’ With Love

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When presented with an opportunity or request, ask yourself: Do I have the bandwidth for this? Can I show up for this fully? Am I saying ‘yes’ out of obligation or inspiration?

You can acknowledge a request without committing yourself or your time prematurely, so it is better to delay a decision than to rush a ‘yes’ you’ll regret. A response like, “this deserves my full commitment, I’ll circle back to make sure I can give it my full attention,” can communicate this clearly.

If torn between a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ ask yourself: Am I doing this to be liked or do I truly feel it is the right thing to do? Even if I do not feel like it in the moment, will future me be happy about me saying ‘yes’ to this? If not, should I be doing this?

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Creating clear boundaries is one of the nicest things you can do for the people in your life and for yourself. So remember, being nice does not mean saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’. An honest ‘no’ is better than an ingenuine ‘yes’ in the long run.

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You do not need to prepare a rationale or long explanation for your ‘no’. You will not need to justify a healthy boundary to someone who values your self-care. Saying ‘no’ to someone or something also means saying ‘yes’ to yourself and your own needs.

If you are not able to show up for someone you care about, offer alternatives if possible. Sometimes it is better to use your energy coming up with a creative solution to fill your absence, rather than showing up and only giving 50%.

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Fully showing up for yourself allows you to be a better show up for others. When you give what you do not have, you grow resentful over time. When you come from a place of wholeness, you’re able to give people the care they deserve.