8 minute read
Quarter-Life Crisis
“Entering ‘Friends’: Season 1
by Mariami Gatenashvili
You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe!’ And today I just stopped and I said, ‘What if I don’t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y’know? Or a- or a hat!’ is what Rachel said to her father when she started realizing that she could choose her own life path and not conform to her family’s or society’s expectations.
Since before starting school, we’re asked to answer the question: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Already at the age of 6 and for the next 12 years, we know what awaits us. 6 years of primary school, 3 years of middle school, and another 3 of high school (in Greece). During these years, various expectations for our future are formed, either from the people around us or from ourselves. But what happens when one finishes their studies?
Many at my age (25 years old) go through, or have gone through, the same crisis I experienced. Theoretically, you have the knowledge and skills to enter the job market. However, witnessing how society really functions makes you realize how much more complex things are. This is where doubts arise about whether you’ve made the right choices, and everything you had confidently planned for the future becomes uncertain and seems like a distant dream.
Dear diary,
Since I was 13, I had decided I wanted to become a sports journalist in Barcelona. By the age of 22, I would have already had a significant career and would be fully independent abroad. One of the reasons the collision with reality was so challenging for me was my long-held confidence in all of these scenarios.
There were numerous times when I felt like I was disappointing my 13-year-old self. I had many expectations but significant ignorance of risks and reality when making all these plans.
I studied journalism at the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki. Despite wanting it for a long time, the first two years raised several doubts about whether it was the right choice. When I overcame it and realized it was the right decision for me, another obstacle emerged. One of the most challenging moments I went through was failing twice to do the university’s Erasmus, either for studies or for an internship.
In the first case, theoretically, the problem was Covid-19. Nevertheless, I decided to do remote Erasmus studies. Although a psychologically demanding experience, I can say I learned a lot. However, if I had gone to Valencia, I would have faced an even more significant problem. Citizenship. Due to my Georgian citizenship back then, I couldn’t stay in the country for more than three months. I found this out two weeks before traveling to Malaga for my internship in sports journalism. The bureaucracy was quite complex and costly, so at that point, ‘I didn’t even have a pla-’, as Phoebe answered Monica when the latter asked if she had any plan for her future.
“I had many expectations but significant ignorance of risks and reality when making all these plans.”
Although it took me a while to overcome it, during that period and due to how things turned out, many positive things happened, such as traveling a lot and meeting significant people for me. Perhaps ‘everything happens for a reason’ is true after all.
The description
My experiences are just a small example of everything that can happen to individuals during their quarter-life. Some of the things that a young adult might experience during their quarter-life crisis are: anxiety, questioning the decisions made in the past, trapped in an unpleasant situation, feeling uninspired and feeling pressured by society. This, though, can be to a greater or lesser extent for each person.
Quarter-life crisis around the world
I asked young people from various parts of the world to tell me about their experiences.
Bryan, Brazil: I am 23y.o. and I have studied journalism. […]. For me, it is important to have a job that I feel creative and have the opportunity to express myself towards my work, writing and producing content. And I don’t think I will reach that working for a newspaper. However, I don’t know where the future will lead me so we will see. I imagine my future having a job that gives me the opportunity to travel and connect with different people, with different cultures. I try not to think about it, and I push myself forward to earn more money, basically.
Ioanna, Greece: I am 25 years old, and I have studied political science, which was my first choice. I never had a specific dream job, but when I had to decide what to study, political science seemed like the best option. Right now, I can’t imagine my future clearly. It’s easier for me to envision myself traveling than working because I still haven’t decided what I want to do. The fact that I like traveling is kind of disorienting for me when it comes to deciding what kind of job I would like to pursue.
Simona, Slovenia: I am 27y.o. I’m not one of those people who knew from a young age what they wanted to become when they grew up. A few years ago, I enrolled in the dietetics study, but wasn’t sure about my decision. However, after getting my degree, it seemed like my dream profession. Not so long ago, my life was completely different from what I live now. I was following the goals that society expected from me […] but I viewed life narrowly and didn’t see the opportunities opening up around me until I experienced some disappointments in both my professional and personal life.
At a certain point, something within me changed. I started questioning myself - Who am I? What do I want to become? Is my behavior aligned with my values? Do I really want to conform to society and its expectations? Is this predictable life truly fulfilling, or am I just afraid to go out of my comfort zone? Am I clinging to old habits out of fear of the unknown? I knew it was time for significant changes.
[…] My future is currently I try to look at things from a different perspective. I don’t force anything; I just accept the current situation. I try to be aware of myself, my thoughts and actions, striving to become the best version of myself. Of course I’m only human, and sometimes I fail. Nevertheless, each day is a new opportunity for change.
Alice, Italy: I am 23 years old and I have studied Chinese language and literature. Since I was younger, I’ve always dreamt of studying many languages and becoming a translator. Now I started my master’s degree in Chinese-English translation and interpreting but now I am not sure of my choice and I am pretty sure that translating is not what I want to do in my life. I don’t imagine my future now, I don’t really know what I will do but I don’t exclude the possibility of moving abroad, because to cope with this I travel a lot and meeting new people and making new experiences helped me broadening my perspectives and I hope it will help me in the decision of what I want to do in the future.
Charley, Taiwan: I am 28yo and I have studied accounting. Since I was 9 yo, I wanted to become a vet. I still want to do that, but sometimes I feel like I’m too old to invest this much time and my only option is to keep doing what I’m doing now, which is being a salesperson. I can’t imagine my future clearly. I’m starting to consider other jobs I could do or other subjects to study. To cope with this, I travel and do whatever I feel happy having achievements for example playing piano to fulfill the needs.
I’m doing now, which is being a salesperson. I can’t imagine my future clearly. I’m starting to consider other jobs I could do or other subjects to study. To cope with this, I travel and do whatever I feel happy having achievements for example playing piano to fulfill the needs.
“Who am I? What do I want to become? Is my behavior aligned with my values? Do I really want to conform to society and its expectations? Is this predictable life truly fulfilling, or am I just afraid to go out of my comfort zone? Am I clinging to old habits out of fear of the unknown?”
Something to remember
Although this quarter life crisis may sound bad and scary, it has many positives. It is a period when one can reassess many things to understand what is best for oneself and one’s future, both professionally and personally. From this experience, someone can emerge much more certain about themselves and their capabilities.
‘ Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it,’ is what Monica says to Rachel the day her quarter-life crisis started.
