The Space Between Us

By Heather Bain

Green's infinite variety of shades inspires feelings of peace, harmony and appreciation of the outdoors in me. Perhaps it’s because the home I grew up in had a huge yard where we played year round. It could be the result of summer vacations spent at the beach in Cape Cod, camping and hiking in Ontario’s Provincial Parks or relaxing at our cottage. Winters, we snowshoed to a snow picnic spot in a local bird sanctuary then built a fire to make hot chocolate. That’s how my sisters and I were taught to enjoy and appreciate nature’s wild spaces.

Space is a pretty interesting concept when you think about it. There are so many ways to define and use it: outer space, personal space, green space, outdoor space, eating space, head space and work space to name a few. Did you know that spending time exposed to or in a natural outdoor green space has a beneficial effect on us?

A Danish study* followed a segment of their population from childhood to adulthood 1985 - 2014, and found that those who lived in or around dense green areas as children had significantly less mental health issues as adults. Parents who encourage their children to spend time outside are giving their child health benefits from fresh air and exercise, along with a chance to connect with nature and disconnect from technology. It has a positive, calming effect on people of all ages with many types of neurodiversity and mental health issues.

The article ** “GreenSpace and Mental Pathways” by Emily J. Rugel of the University of British Columbia examined research studies related to this topic from around the world. The author supported the concept that green space has a positive impact on mental health. Spending time in nature is associated with lessening of anxiety and depression in adults and increases in focus and attention in children with ADHD. However, she wrote in the summary that additional long term and detailed studies need to be conducted to gather more specific data. My hope is that, in future, spending time in green spaces could be used as part of comprehensive mental health treatment plans.

Differing amounts of space needed between people is another interesting topic to explore. Personal space and the amount needed can vary depending on factors like a person’s gender, age, personality, cultural and geographic background. An interesting fact is that people from warmer climates require less personal space than people from cooler climates.

The less we know people, the bigger the distance we are comfortable having between us.

Recently a teacher asked me to talk to her grade 3 student because she was affectionately hugging classmates, making some feel uncomfortable. During our chat, I had the student stretch her straight arms out to the side and turn in a circle. Then I told her that the space from the tips of her extended fingers to her body is her “personal space” and that only the people who are in her innermost circle can cross this boundary. I wanted her to have a way to figure out how to determine the space people would be comfortable with.

We did the “Circles of Friends” Exercise to map out her relationship boundaries on a piece of paper. (*See the instructions below.) This gave her a visual drawing that shows the amount of increased distance needed between her and others. Familiar people like her immediate family, extended family and friends are in the inner circles. The less we know people, the bigger the distance we are comfortable having between us. I explained that when we know people but don’t know them well, the circles represent the growing distance of the imaginary and real space between us. She proudly showed her finished project to her teacher and is more aware and respectful of personal boundaries now. I did some research online and found a website with games teaching personal space on connectablitity.ca . Children use hula hoop games to create actual perimeters of personal space while having fun to help cement the lesson.

Conflicts can arise from personal space issues. Children react when their security is threatened with too much space, for example, a crying toddler banging on a closed door because a parent is on the other side. They can also be triggered by a violation of personal space. Often the first action that causes a verbal disagreement to escalate into a physical altercation is when one person aggressively and intentionally “gets up in another person’s face”. At school, I separate the parties, distance them from one another and give them time to decompress. Once all parties are calm, we can begin the process of resolving the issue.

In September 2014, my husband and I wanted more space and privacy. We bought a small, older, side split home with high ceilings that gave it a roomy feel. The major attraction for me was the expansive backyard that reminded me of my home growing up. The very first time I saw the yard with the patio, the mature trees, flowers and lots of green space to play and roam, I immediately felt “I’m home!” Since then, living here has given us a place where we and others can gather, visit, play and relax. We definitely enjoy the space between us.

RESOURCES

• Danish Study - https://greenflagaward.org/news/research-finds-benefits-of-access-to-green-space/

• Canadian Article “Green Space and Mental Health Pathways” - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282331597_Green_Space_and_Mental_Health_Pathways_Impacts_and_Gaps#:~:text=Green%20Space%20 and,British%20Columbia%20%2D%20Vancouver

• Teaching Personal Space Games to Children from connectability.ca - https://connectability.ca/2021/04/13/teaching-personal-space-to-children-using-games-and-activities/

Circles of Friends Instructions

(suitable for elementary aged students)

• Have the child/children draw a star with their favourite colour to represent themselves in the very middle of the page. Then place the smallest can over the star and trace around the can to make a circle.

• Add the names of the people in her/his inner circle (people in her immediate family) in her next favourite colour.

• Repeat the process but each time, have the child select a different coloured pencil crayon to trace the next largest circular object.

• Add grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and close friends to the next circle.

• Keep going with the next sized jar or can and add the next layer of people the child knows. Ask questions to prompt the child’s memory to include friends or neighbours who live on their street, classmates, teachers, coaches, sport, hobby or activity groups that the child takes part in.

• Add names until the child can’t think of others to include. As the circles are mapped out, the “Circles of Friends’’ will keep getting bigger and wider. When my grade 3 student and I did the exercise, we stopped at 5 circles. Feel free to adapt the idea and use less or more circles as necessary.

MATERIALS

• 1 large piece of paper,1 Pencil and eraser, Coloured pencils or markers

• Various sized small to large graduated jars or cans with round bottoms (spice jars, paper cups, mugs, jam jars, soup or vegetable cans, coffee cans all work.)