UNITE INDIANAPOLIS OCT/NOV ISSUE by Joey Amato

INDIANA POLIS October/November 2015

Mark A. Leeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Historic Imagery

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FROM THE TEAM

Wow! What a summer. Marriage is finally legal for same-sex couples, Caitlin Jenner transitioned right before our eyes, and Kim Davis got on a soapbox. Yes, with the good must come the bad. It’s a humbling reality to know that our community still faces adversity. Unfortunately, we shouldn’t expect that to go away anytime soon. Haters gonna keep on hatin’. Just ask Taylor Swift. Don’t be a Facebook hater. We’re all guilty. Someone does something deeply offensive or ignorant, and it’s easy to poke fun of it on Facebook. It’s easy to jump on that bandwagon. However, using someone else’s ignorance as a justification to be a mean girl isn’t okay. Instead, think of a more productive way to channel your response. Simply bitching on Facebook isn’t doing something about the problem. It’s just bitching on Facebook. We all must do our part to lead by example and rise above ignorance and bigotry. Maybe you’re not the type to march in a parade or waive a flag. That’s okay! Just be true to yourself and foster ally support by putting your best foot forward. Eyes are on our community now more than ever. Let’s show the other side that we’re just as deserving of our right to marry. Lastly, beginning January 2016, UNITE will become a quarterly publication. We are changing our frequency as to better serve the community in Indianapolis. Details coming soon... Sincerely,

Creative Director

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Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Joey Amato Creative Director Blake Kniffin Arts & Entertainment Editor Tom Alvarez Business Correspondents Norman R. Brandenstein, Bob Chenoweth, Mark A. Lee Entertainment Contributor Chris Azzopardi Food & Wine Editors Karen Kennedy Health Editor Matt Grant, Psy.D., HSPP Legal Writer Barbara Baird Life & Style Writer Albert Winks Political Editor Josh Peters Contributing Writers Misty Farquhar, Annette Gross, Nick Poust, Diana Ratcliff, Jesse Walker Photographer Mark A. Lee Brand Consultant Albert Winks Distribution Daniel Cope National Advertising Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021 Advertising & Editorial Joey Amato joey@unitemag.com (615) 852-6660 Licensing UNITE is currently available in Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Nashville, and statewide in Virginia. To find out about licensing opportunities for UNITE, contact Joey Amato at joey@unitemag.com or call (615) 852-6660. Cover photo appears courtesy of Mark A. Lee of Great Exposures. www.unitemag.com /unitemagindy

GUEST EDITORIAL

Chicken, Waffles Religion by Misty Farquhar

group development theory). But it was nothing a little too much gin couldn’t fix. During working hours, we had a range of productive and enlightening meetings with Indy Youth Group (the largest and oldest in the country), Indy Pride, Eli Lilly & Co’s employee pride group, Fatima Johnson (immigration lawyer), Indiana Equality Action (advocating for state marriage equality), Indy Rainbow Chamber (LGBT business group), and state and local government representatives. And we were invited along to UNITE’s anniversary party at Greg’s (which was an absolute hoot!), followed up with a meeting with their photographer. He also does a lot of other work in the LGBT media/arts scene and gave us the most amazing audio-visual tour of his photo exhibition, which is not even on display yet.

Misty Farquhar

After the hustle and bustle of NYC, we arrived in opposite-world. Indianapolis is a complete contrast to NYC; where it lacks diversity, it makes up for it with hospitality. Where it lacks things to do, it makes up for it with a sense of community. And sport, if that’s what you’re into. On our first evening in Indy, we were greeted with bacon cocktails. That’s right, bacon infused bourbon with a rasher of bacon in it. And in our free time we experimented with lots of other strange and wonderful foods including a large range of chicken dishes, some of which included waffles and maple syrup. We had drinks with another group and a home cooked meal with a lovely local family, who had the most *adorable* little youngling. By this stage, the group had done a lot of “forming” and a little bit of “storming” (see Tuckman’s

Our meetings in Indy were also pretty different to those in the other cities we had visited. We had been told that there is generally less acceptance in middle America, but this was a progressive city stuck in the middle of a conservative state. Most of the people we met with were terribly embarrassed about how their city had been portrayed in the media (part of the reason we decided to visit) following the introduction of the state’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA, lovingly pronounced by locals as “riffra”). It was fascinating to learn that this legislation, which from the outside seemed as though it would stifle the LGBT movement, had actually further mobilized it. It was so divisive that it had forced people who had been apathetic about LGBT rights to pick a side and fight for it. It resulted in an increase in funding and allies within the state and around the world. It made me wonder about the widely accepted “religious exemptions” that exist in many countries, whereby churches / religious organizations (including schools but not hospitals) are above the law when it comes to certain types of discrimination. I’m not convinced that’s necessary/helpful. Despite its struggles, Indy is a warm and welcoming place that you can’t help but love. We made lots of friends and had lots of laughs. One worth a special mention is JJ Gufreda, a trans-businesswoman and author (among other things). Her stories were captivating, and her taste in food impeccable. Plus she bought us gin. One of her stories that I quite liked was of her first taste of furries at the Indy Pride event, held on a hot summer day. She couldn’t understand why they would want to be covered in fur when it was already so warm. But her point was that she didn’t need to understand; you don’t have to get it, you just have to embrace the idea that different things make different people happy. UNITE Indianapolis | 5

TABLE OF CONTENTS pg. 22

Feature

Historic Imagery LGBT Travel Guide

Now

High Art Indy

On the Aisle Roger Roe

Local Star

Mark Schuster

Business

Wells Fargo LGBT Survery

Design

Venice Hidden in Carmel

Health

Love is a Battlefield

Legal

LGBT Adoption

Dining

Twenty Tap

Arts

2015 - 2016 Season Ticket

Community

PFLAG Gives Back

Culture “Jazz’n”

Sandy Spain

sspain1@bellsouth.net | sandyspain.com | 615.646.3396

Calder the Musical Dance Kaleidoscope

22 25

36 38

NOW Community Relations (oil on canvas) by Phil O’Malley image appears courtesy of the Arts Council of Indianapolis

High Art Indy Announces 10 New Artworks

by Jesse Walker The Arts Council of Indianapolis, in partnership with Clear Channel Outdoor recently announced the latest installment of High Art including ten artworks and the accompanying People’s Choice Award. In its third year, High Art offers a larger than life opportunity for central Indiana artists to display their work on billboards. The Arts Council received over 262 works by more than 77 artists for consideration. The ten selected works of art will be produced in large scale (14’ X 48’) and placed on available billboard spaces throughout Indianapolis and central Indiana on a rotating basis starting September 2015 and running through August 2016. High Art Indy’s People’s Choice Award is back for 2015. The vote took place September 5-18 and the winner will receive $500 from the Arts Council of Indianapolis. After September 18, the art will be placed on available boards throughout central Indiana. “The Arts Council is pleased to partner with Clear Channel Outdoor on this highly-visible public art program. In addition to huge works of art springing up on billboards all around town, the public is invited to engage with the program through an online vote for the award for People’s Choice. This program is yet another way that the Arts Council works every day to support and promote the artists and arts organizations of central Indiana,” said Dave Lawrence, President & CEO of the Arts Council of Indianapolis. To view artwork, billboard locations, go to: indyarts.org/highart “Clear Channel Outdoor recognizes the power of inspiring creativity which we do in our business every day. We appreciate the hard work and commitment these local artists have put into their work and we want to do our part through the use of our traditional and digital billboards to

bring these pieces to the entire community. The High Art Indy Program is a great partnership with the Arts Council of Indianapolis which provides a unique opportunity to showcase the best of these artists in this the third year of the program. We believe this program emphasizes the importance of art and the benefits of fostering imagination,” said Brett Beshore, President of Clear Channel Outdoor Indianapolis. The goal of High Art is to bring public art to all areas of the city and surrounding communities while allowing artists the opportunity to present their work on a grand scale. The Arts Council of Indianapolis is underwriting the cost to produce each billboard, and Clear Channel Outdoor is providing the space and labor to install the art, free of charge, to each of the selected artists–equaling more than $20,000 in value and visibility to each artist and their work.

UNITE Indianapolis | 7

ON THE AISLE

Roger Roe (left) with husband R. Kent Cook

photo by Mark A. Lee of Great Exposures

Roger Roe:

A Life Encompassed by Music by Tom Alvarez

Tom Alvarez is a longtime journalist, reviewer and Emmy Award-winning television producer & director. He covers the performing arts in Central Indiana for Examiner.com and is also a regular contributor on WISH-Channel 8’s Indy Style.

8 | UNITE Indianapolis

mong the highest profile members of the Central Indiana’s LGBT performing arts community is musician Roger Roe, who plays English horn and has been assistant principal oboe of the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra for 20 years. Roe, who is also an educator, teaches oboe and English horn lessons and master classes at Indiana University’s Jacobs School of Music. Roe, a 47 year-old Texas native, is a graduate of Arts Magnet High School, Southern Methodist University and the Cleveland Institute of Music. He is married to R. Kent Cook, professor of piano and of the keyboard department at Illinois Wesleyan University.

Recently Roe sat down with UNITE in the Fletcher Place home he shares with Cook to chat about music, the ISO and teaching. When were you first exposed to music? My dad is a singer and was a church choir director when I was growing. I started piano when I was four. I was also a boy soprano. I started playing oboe in sixth grade when I was probably 11 years old and I took to it quickly. I could already sing and play and had lots of experience performing so I just started playing in the youth orchestra in Fort Worth in my freshman year of high school and I loved it. I thought then, “If I could keep playing oboe it would be really great. I would love to do that.” I just had this single-minded idea that playing in an orchestra would be a great career. I started to meet people along the way and asked them about what it was really like and listened to stories that they would tell and I thought, “Wow, it is a full time job where you get paid to play your instrument? I would love that!” What is it like playing in the ISO? The best thing about being in an orchestra is the opportunity to make music in a consistent community. Over years together, we learn to anticipate each other and to work together in a very nuanced way, as an organic whole. The level of flexibility and connection necessary to play incredibly demanding music in a large group is unlike anything else. What does music mean to you, and specifically classical music? Music for me is a way to express emotion and to communicate in a non-verbal way. It reaches people in a way which can move them and transport them to another place, and I love being able to provide that. Classical music, especially, is rich with complexity and history and drama. I love being constantly challenged throughout my career to continue to grow and explore music. Who are your favorite composers? I don’t really have favorite composers, really just who I’m working on at the time, but I will

say that I love Brahms and Benjamin Britten. I also play a lot of newer, unusual post-tonal music in my chamber and recital concerts, and I really like that. What would you say to those who have never attended an ISO concert? We really do have a lot of different kinds of concerts and we try to make ourselves as accessible as possible. If it is a classical concert, it will really help to know a little bit about the pieces or the composers before you get there or to read the program notes once you are there, it always helps you to understand it. But there is the world of classical compositions that are so rich and so beautiful and all we have to do is start to explore it and think, “I like Rachmaninoff. I like Vivaldi. I don’t think I knew that before.” It opens up door to hundreds of years of tradition and history and beauty. But if that is intimidating we have Happy Hour and Symphony on the Prairie and the Pops. You can dress anyway you choose. We try to keep it very open and accessible. Tell me about your teaching job at I.U.’s Jacobs School of Music? I started there 14 years ago. I travel to Bloomington twice a week. I have a studio and usually teach nine students. I also coach people when they are going out for orchestral auditions. It’s a great place. The thing I love most about teaching is helping my students unlock their own voices on the oboe and helping them find what music means to them. How would you describe your life? It’s amazing. If you had asked me when I was 12 or 13 years old what my dream would be, it would be exactly this—to be playing in a major symphony orchestra, be happily married to another classical musician and to teach at a great school—all those things. For tickets and information about the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra 2015-2016 season visit www.indianapolissymphony.org.

UNITE Indianapolis | 9

LOCAL STAR

photo by Diana Ratcliff

Mark Schuster by Diana Ratcliff

“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius Great advice from a philosopher over 2500 years ago, but for most people, extremely difficult to put into practice. Mark Schuster, a Nebraska native who now calls Indianapolis home, has found a way to do just that. Seven years ago when Schuster was sitting in rehearsal with his viola, he had an epiphany. The orchestra was rehearsing a wellknown work, but the parts and scores didn’t match. The rehearsal was peppered with the interruptions of musicians trying to find the appropriate starting point in their parts. Not only was locating rehearsal spots difficult, the page turns were at very inopportune places in the music, creating panicked moments as pages were noisily flipped. “I can do this better,” thought Schuster, and in 2008, Performer’s Edition was born. He built a business focused on creating new parts and scores with modern typesetting, making them

10 | UNITE Indianapolis

easy to read and use for the performer. Based on an artist’s integrity, Schuster painstakingly goes through each piece of music, editing and laying out the music from a performer’s perspective. His philosophy that “Music should be easy to read and rehearse, so the performer can focus on performing,” has served him well. In 2010, he partnered with the International Music Score Library Project to create Performer’s Reprints, an organization which reprints thousands of scanned historic parts and scores. While he’s not always able to clean them up perfectly, he is able to provide rare and otherwise unavailable titles to score-seeking musicians. Right now, Schuster has over 150,000 different scores available on his website www.performersedition.com. When he started his business, he did not foresee what would become his most popular product, music for Piano 4 Hands, which is written for two people to play the same piece on one piano.

One of his most ardent customers, one of London’s well-known elite who shall otherwise remain anonymous, has bought such large quantities of Piano 4 Hands music, that he’s out-ordered Schuster ’s next biggest client, a professional orchestra. Performer’s Edition also provides scores for Piano 8 Hands. That’s right, four people playing on two pianos. Piano 4 and 8 Hands aren’t the only obscure musical scores that Schuster ’s customer base is excited about. Clients often try to stump Mark with obscure musical requests. He was recently challenged with a list of 150 titles, which he is hunting down in a musical scavenger hunt. His obscure music fan base has become so strong, he has started Obscure Music Monday, a weekly blog where he shares insight, interesting facts, and sometimes the dark histories of the more obscure gems he has uncovered. In his August 17 post, Schuster wrote, “The work begins with a grand flourish worthy of a Hollywood movie…” about Max von Schillings’ Violin Concerto No.1. “Schillings… has fallen into obscurity today

in large part because of some anti-Semitic actions in the early 1930s”. Even the non-classical music lover will find his blog fascinating as it dives into the music and the history of a piece and its’ creator, complimented by commercial recordings and visuals when available. Schuster continues to play viola almost every weekend in the season for several orchestras and ensembles locally and nationwide including the Carmel Symphony Orchestra and Orkestra Projekt. Orkestra Projekt is a newly re-born Indianapolis based ensemble that creates and presents innovative, eclectic musical events in an informal atmosphere to a largely millennial audience, with a focus on works by living composers. You can find more about Orkestra Projekt and upcoming events on Facebook or at www. orkestraprojekt.org. Mark currently lives in Indianapolis with his partner of 15 years, Michael, and their two cats, Maddy and Monty. Email contact@performersedition.com or call (317) 429-1300 for more information.

A VISUAL JOURNEY: From AIDS to Marriage Equality Oct. 10 through Nov. 14 Photos by Mark A. Lee • Fifty-foot section of the mile-long rainbow flag carried in New York city during the 25th anniversary of the Stonewall riots • Two panels from the AIDS Memorial Quilt with Indiana connections (opening week only) Exhibit underwriting provided by two anonymous IHS members in honor of The Damien Center and Lambda Legal With support from Steven L. Tuchman and Reed Bobrick

EUGENE AND MARILYN GLICK INDIANA HISTORY CENTER 450 WEST OHIO STREET | INDIANAPOLIS

www.indianahistory.org | (317) 232-1882

BUSINESS

Finances Top of Mind

for LGBT Americans by Joey Amato

A new survey from Wells Fargo & Company of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Americans sheds light on how marriage equality is shaping the attitudes, behaviors, and conversations of same-sex couples related to money and planning for their future. The majority of LGBT Americans surveyed (86%) say that marriage-equality will improve the financial lives of same-sex couples, with 50% citing financial security and benefits as a top reason for wanting to get married (love and commitment tops the list at 86%). Marriage Changes How Couples Think About Finances The survey included an oversample of LGBT Americans currently in same-sex marriages (living in states that recognized same-sex marriage before the federal ruling) to explore the impacts so far of legalized marriage. Seven in ten (70%) say they feel better off financially. Moreover, legalized marriage has changed how many think, feel, and talk about their lives: • Seventy-three percent say that same-sex marriage becoming legal has changed how they plan for their future. • Sixty-eight percent say that being married has changed how they think about their financial future, specifically. • Sixty percent say that being married has changed how they are planning for their financial future. “The decision to marry seems to bring with it a level of financial security for same-sex couples,” said John Lake, Wells Fargo LGBT Segment Manager. “While LGBT Americans recognize that access to marriage provides

12 | UNITE Indianapolis

certain financial benefits and obligations, there is still a significant knowledge gap around specific issues.” The survey showed that 81% of LGBT Americans see getting married as a big financial decision, and almost nine in 10 (89%) say it’s important to evaluate the financial implications of getting married before doing so. However, just one in three (32%) say they fully understand the financial implications of doing so, and even fewer (29%) fully understand how Federal and state laws apply to same-sex marriages in their states. Likewise, most survey respondents do not fully understand all the legal implications of being married versus living together in several specific areas related to money and planning. For example: • Seventy-five percent do not fully understand how legal marriage affects access and rights to workplace pension benefits. • Seventy-two percent do not fully understand how legal marriage affects rights to inherit money from a spouse. There remains a strong need for financial planning work and increased education. While almost half (48%) of LGBT Americans in same-sex marriages have a financial advisor (compared to 23% of U.S. married couples), less than one in five (18%) consulted with a financial or le-

gal professional before getting married. Now that they are married, 56% say they have lot of financial planning work to do. Most LGBT Americans in same-sex marriages (54%) say that being married makes talking about money easier. Still, almost one in five (19%) have disagreements about money at least monthly, and 30% admit that discussions about finances have caused tension in their relationships. Before Saying “I Do” Among same-sex couples considering marriage, the need for advice is strong. Forty-seven percent feel unsure whether legal marriage would be financially beneficial for them or not, and 52% do not feel fully-prepared to make an informed financial decision about whether or not to marry. Only one in four (25%) have fully discussed with their partners whether marriage would be a good financial decision or a bad one. The need for more conversations about money also resonated throughout the survey on a variety

of issues LGBT Americans consider important to discuss before marriage. Fewer than one-third, for example, have fully discussed: • Whether to merge all of their accounts and assets (30%) • Their personal feelings and views about money (28%) • Personal debts and how marriage brings joint obligations (27%) • What they want to save or invest for (24%) • How much each partner can, will, and wants to earn (23%) • Their mutual risk tolerance with savings and investments (18%) “Having conversations about financial issues like saving, investing, and preparing for retirement is critically important for same-sex couples. There are many unanswered questions out there, and as an industry we must keep working hard to provide useful information same-sex couples need in order to achieve their financial goals,” Lake added.

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PRESENTED BY:

Holly Wilson (Delaware Tribe of Western Oklahoma/Cherokee), Belonging, 2014, bronze and geode Photography by Hadley Fruits

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DESIGN

rom all appearances it’s an ordinary basement door; white, paneled, brass knob. Little does a visitor know that when they turn the knob, they’re transporting themselves to the old-world streets of Venice into the private wine bar and cellar imagined and brought to fruition by James Kuester, principal of Küster Design, for Carmel, IN homeowners, Veso and Becky Lukovic. The focal piece of the room, a stunning granite bar is complimented by custom cabinetry from Portland, IN cabinet-maker Pennville Custom Cabinetry. PVC pipes are painted to give a faux dripping copper pipe look, juxtaposed against a dark brown tinted ceiling giving the impression of taller ceilings. With the help of Justin Olson of Olson Paint Studios, Kuester was able to achieve the look and feel of old plaster walls. The floors were treated with a specialized custom staining technique. Taking full advantage of the space, the wine cellar is tucked under the staircase leaving the rest of the space open for entertainment. Steel columns are covered in millwork and paint, blending them into the overall look and feel of the Venetian space.

James Kuester, principal of Küster Design

photo courtesy of Küster Design

Venice Hidden

In Subterranean Carmel by Diana Ratcliff

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Kuester has developed a unique approach to his designs that focus on the overall experience as much as the aesthetics and functionality. Whether he’s working for a private or commercial client, his designs nurture the overall experience from every aspect. “The space needed to create an environment where the experience of tasting and sharing wine would be relaxed, comfortable, and would present the wine in the best possible light,” explains Kuester about his design process. “To fully support the experience, I crafted a cellar that would keep and store the wine at the proper temperature and humidity for longevity and proper tasting, a bar that was comfortable for both drinking and serving, and keeps the accou-

terments for serving wine and pairings of food readily available. These are all important elements of designing a good experience regardless of whether it is for commercial or personal use.” When the Lukovics approached Kuester, they already knew they wanted to transform their basement into a wine and entertainment haven. Kuester’s own passion for wine made him the ideal designer for this project. Based on their travel experience to Venice, the Lukovics desired a space that was reminiscent of old-Venice streets, as opposed to a traditional wine cavern. Previously, the Lukovics’ basement was completely unfinished; plumbing for a half-bath existed, though not ideally placed. The ceiling was covered in a spider-web of unattractive PVC pipes, and an orphan water line was run along the basement foundation. Steel columns supported the house from underneath. The rest of the basement was a blank slate. Kuester was able to work within the existing parameters of the basement’s plumbing and physical barriers to save money for the Lukovics and design a space that was aesthetically appealing, functional, and captured the overall Venetian street look and feel, in keeping with his arching design philosophy for both commercial and private clients.

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 25

Roaring 20s American classic

“Overall experience is what matters…how pleasurable a time one has beyond the quality of the food, or bed, or staff interactions. If any one part is out-of-whack, the experience is diminished,” explains Kuester about his design philosophy. “The experience defines a brand and a business is remiss if it does not spend significant time being very deliberate in designing what the customer experience, the brand, is going to look, fell, smell, sound, and taste like.” Kuester feels that customer experience is especially relevant to the pleasure and business of food and wine, “The customer experience has everything to do with selling or serving food and wine. After all, food and wine are all about engaging sight, smell, and taste. The environment where this activity is occurring will either enhance it or detract from it, but it rarely is neutral.” Kuester founded Küster Design in 2002, a spinoff of his custom-made furniture company. Kuester approaches his designs for both commercial and private clients with special attention to creating the best possible experience. Based in Indianapolis, IN, Kuester works with clients both nationally and internationally.

OCTOBER 20 - NOVEMBER 15

An intimate look at an Indianapolis family’s collision with history

HEALTH

Love is a Battlefield by Matt Grant, Psy.D., HSPP

at Benatar had it right years ago, and it’s still true today: Love is a Battlefield. Sexual orientation aside, many would agree that dating and finding love is analogous to being in a battlefield. And what most of us want to know is, ‘Am I going to survive this battle?’ Dating in the gay community is probably one of the most unique and awkward positions gay people find themselves in...no pun intended! But honestly, there’s probably nothing more uncomfortable in the gay community then trying to date the guys and or girls we’re also trying to befriend.

Matt Grant, Psy.D., HSPP is a clinical psychologist and sole proprietor of NorthStar Psychological + Consultation Services, LLC, located in the heart of downtown, Indianapolis. He is a psychotherapist, entrepreneur, consultant, educator, mentor, blogger, and public speaker.

16 | UNITE Indianapolis

Times have changed, and so have dating conventions. While some people might marry their high school sweetheart, a lot of others are turning to new avenues to find love. Quite a few marriages start with online dating these days, too. There’s nothing inherently wrong with finding the love of your life online; however, online dating has a host of challenges that make dating and finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with nearly impossible. It can be quite difficult to navigate the battlefield if you don’t have a strategy. So, to provide you with the armor you’re going to need, I have put together the top 10 things you should keep in mind when dating online.

Online Dating Etiquette 101 1. Use pictures that are tasteful (e.g. fully clothed), honest, and professional (e.g. clear and crisp). This means getting rid of the infamous selfie and the alcoholic beverage you’re holding. 2. Often you’re going to find open-ended questions where you can elaborate on your lovely self. I’d encourage you to take advantage of these sections. Use correct grammar and correct any spelling errors. Oh, and don’t use foul language. 3. If you find or get matched with someone who sparks your fancy, send a message and let the person know what specifically you found interesting or fun in their profile. Never send one-word messages in any form; these messages are lame! 4. I’d encourage you to respond to those who have genuinely reached out. If you’re not interested, you can thank the person for reaching out, but then move on. 5. Once you connect via the message platform of your dating application, take a week or so to get to know the person. Just keep it casual, and if you want to grab a bite do it somewhere you can pay separately at the counter. For safety, always meet in a public place and offer to meet there. 6. If you’re the one initiating a connection, make sure to provide your contact number. If you end up on a date, it’s totally permissible the next day to reach out and let the person know that you enjoyed meeting him or her. The reason for waiting the day is because you don’t want to come across as too needy or enthusiastic. 7. Always, always, always, put away your phone on the first date. Yes, you can survive without it for a few hours! 8. Be honest, genuine, and above all, transparent. Most people can usually sense if someone isn’t being open with them. If you’re feeling guarded or have some walls up, you might not be ready to take the plunge into the battlefield. 9. Once it has been established that it’s an exclusive relationship, take down ALL of your dating profiles and make sure your new guy or gal is on the same page. Don’t assume that the other is going to do as you do—have a conversation about it. 10. NEVER HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE! Because of the many challenges of online dating, I have created Indy Gay Speed Dating tailored for men. At these events, 20 to 40 men spend approximately five minutes getting to know each one another. This is a quick and safe way to meet people and it’s fun! For more information visit www.indygayspeeddating.com.

LEGAL

Why Does My Wife

Have to Adopt Our Baby? by Barbara Baird

he past year has seen swift and certain victory in the fight for marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples, both in Indiana, and now, in the entire country. Many hope and presume that same-sex married couples now stand on equal footing with opposite- sex married couples. But we also have seen that resistance to the Supreme Court decision abounds, even in the form of government officials refusing to carry out their official duties (Kentuckyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kim Davis, for example). Just as the 1964 Civil Rights Act and Supreme Court decisions on racial discrimination did not eliminate racially discriminatory practices overnight (or even 50 years later), so, too, will those who oppose full recognition of LGBT couples

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and families find ways to avoid equal treatment and respect for our families. The legal relationship between a child and his or her same-sex married parents is one area in which current laws fail to safeguard the security of gay and lesbian families. It is especially important for lesbian couples who decide to have children to understand that they still need to protect their families through every legal means possible, including second parent/stepparent adoption. For lesbian couples, ever-improving assisted reproductive technology (ART) allows one partner to bear the coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s child using donated sperm, either anonymous-

Barbara Baird is an Indianapolis attorney who has focused her practice on issues of importance to the LGBT community, and was co-counsel with the team from Lambda Legal in Baskin v. Bogan, one of the cases that brought marriage equality to Indiana.

ly from a sperm bank, or through a known donor who is a friend or relative. Before same-sex marriage was recognized, the non-birth mother secured her legal parental rights through a “second parent” adoption. This allowed the names of both parents to be on the birth certificate, and more importantly, resulted in a court order securing parental rights. This adoption decree was required to be honored by every state, even if that state did not recognize samesex marriage or even permit second parent or gay adoption. Now that same-sex marriage must be recognized in all states, I have heard from many lesbian couples who mistakenly believe that second parent adoption is no longer necessary if the couple is married. While marriage in Indiana allows the husband’s name to be on the birth certificate of a child born to his wife, the same rule does not apply

to children born to married lesbian couples. This refusal to put the name of the birth mother’s female spouse on the birth certificate is currently being challenged in court. However, even if this practice is changed and both mothers’ names appear on the birth certificate, the parental status of the non-birth mother remains at risk because a birth certificate can be challenged.

to her spouse’s child is subject to challenge because she does not have a biological connection. Further, Indiana does not have any laws on the books addressing parentage of children conceived through ART, so that a lesbian who donates her eggs to her spouse who bears the child is not currently recognized as a parent here even though she is a genetic parent!

For an opposite -sex married couple, the husband’s name is on the birth certificate of a child born to his wife because marriage allows the presumption that he is the biological father. Unfortunately, in Indiana and many other states, this presumption of paternity during marriage is biologically based and can be rebutted by showing that the husband is not the biological parent. In the case of two married lesbians, this means that the parental status of a non-birth mother

Only a court decree of parentage, namely, a second parent or stepparent adoption, can secure irrefutable parental rights for the non-birth mother. What’s more, this adoption decree must be honored by other states, even those still hostile to gay families. As our community continues to create families that do not neatly fit current legal definitions, it remains critical that couples assure respect and recognition for their families through all available legal protections.

DINING REVIEW

Where the Locals Go by Karen Kennedy

20 Tap 5406 N. College Ave, Indianapolis www.twentytap.com (317) 602-8840 Lunch & dinner, Tuesday - Saturday. Mondays, dinner only

Twenty Tap Roasted Vegetable Salad

photo by Karen Kennedy

The servers are smiling. The bar is packed. The customers know each other. The atmosphere is low key. The food is just plain great. The place is Twenty Tap, and it’s where the locals go. Twenty Tap does everything right. A modern day “Cheers” in Broad Ripple, Twenty Tap has been feeding Midtown residents tasty, healthy, local food for just over four years now. If you were on the hunt for a hip, trendy and upscale place to dine in Broad Ripple, you might easily drive right past this simple black and white storefront, tucked in between a barbeque joint and a gyros place at the bustling intersection of College and 54th, on the way to someplace shinier and newer. If you do, you will have missed some of the best food our city has to offer. While Twenty Tap is absolutely a bar, the cuisine coming out of their tiny kitchen is definitely not “bar food.” It’s not served on painted plates. Nothing is “deconstructed” or claiming to be a “melange.” In fact, it’s most likely to arrive in a wax-paper lined basket. But when items such as the Vegan Banh Mi (a surprising combination of tofu marinated in chili sauce with pickled carrots and daikon finished with cilantro and jalapeno,) the Thai Fusion Tostada (garlic edamame hummus with curried tempura eggplant and broccoli slaw,) 20 | UNITE Indianapolis

Karen Kennedy is an Indianapolis-based food writer with over 25 years of experience in the hospitality industry. She is the owner of Small Potatoes, a catering and event planning company, and the creator of the Indie Indy Foodie Tours.

or the Korean-inspired Seitan Lettuce Wraps arrive humbly presented at the table, they give no indication of the explosion of fresh and innovative flavor profiles that are to come. It takes more than one bite to take in all of the complex combinations in each dish. And what do all of the above-mentioned dishes have in common? They’re all vegetarian, and there are many other vegetarian and vegan dishes on the menu as well. The Veggie Buffalo Wings (tempura battered cauliflower) may make you forget you ever wanted chicken. Even the “Simple” House Salad is anything but—it’s a lovely mix of amazingly fresh field greens, fennel, shallots, shaved Parmesan and a perfectly balanced housemade lemon vinaigrette. Other top notch vegetarian items include the house-made Black Bean Burger and the Roasted Mushroom Reuben, and if you don’t order the Warm Soft Pretzels with Beer Cheese, you’ll have to stop yourself from grabbing it from a neighboring table, because the smell is heavenly and they are divine. But don’t despair, dear carnivores. The giant beef burgers will rock your world, and the Fischer Farms Pulled Brisket is off the charts. And we can’t recommend strongly enough the French Breakfast Burger—decadently topped with bacon jam, Brie, pickled onions and fried shoestring potatoes. The Miller Farms Chicken Sandwich is also delicious, topped with sun-dried tomato aioli, fennel, radishes, provolone and alfalfa sprouts. Whether you’re a health nut or not, everyone loves French fries, and these are nicely complemented by a fantastic assortment of house-made sauces and aiolis, including chipotle, sriracha, horseradish, chimichurri, rosemary and curried ketchup.

UNWIND AFTER WORK. Duos Indy Food Truck, pre-show complimentary Sun King brews and New Day mead, and half-priced drinks from the IRT bar throughout our Tuesday performances. DOORS OPEN AT 5:30 | TICKETS STARTING AT $25

OCTOBER 20 | 6:30 PM

NOVEMBER 10 | 6:30 PM

Who is behind all this good stuff? Twenty Tap is owned and operated by Kevin and Tracy Matalucci, a local couple who have been on the Indy restaurant and bar scene for quite some time. The kitchen is run by head chef of one year, David Busenbark, who ably executes the Matalucci’s vision, creates new and seasonal dishes all the time and gives the other cooks in the kitchen the chance to create daily specials and soups. So whether you’re in post-yoga sweats or want to grab a quick bite of something delicious and nutritious on your way to a concert, stop in at Twenty Tap. And if you want full-on fine dining service from a seasoned pro (who also happens to be quite pleasing to the eye,) ask to sit in Drew’s station. You can thank me later.

FEBRUARY 9 | 6:30 PM

APRIL 26 | 6:30 PM

MARCH 29 | 6:30 PM

MAY 17 | 6:30 PM

IRTLIVE.COM 317.635.5252

FEATURE

Mark Wright (left) and Michael Hendren (right), 1988.

Ambrose Smith(left) and Ian Frasier (right), 2002.

photos courtesy of Mark A. Lee of Great Exposures

Historic Imagery by Norman R. Brandenstein

Norman R. Brandenstein is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor serving the local LGBTQ community for over 14 years. His prior career was as a professional performance artist and administrator.

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Little did Mark A. Lee know when he completed a project for an introductory photography class at Indiana University in the early 1980’s that his experience would lead to a career as the premiere photo-documentarian of the LGBT community in Central Indiana. Thirty years later, the results of his dedication to recording local history is to be the focus of a featured exhibition, A Visual Journey: From AIDS to Marriage Equality, scheduled to open to the public at the Indiana Historical Society (IHS), October 10 and run through November 14, 2015. The affinity for documenting history runs deep in Mark’s family of origin, including hearing of his paternal great-grandmother sharing the oral history of her family settling in Indiana in the 1830’s and her subsequent work as the secretary of the Henry County Historical Society. His maternal grandfather kept up

with the local social, political, and business development of New Castle, Indiana for many years as the publisher and printer of its local newspaper, the News Republic, and he went on to work for two local Congressmen. Within Mark’s current extended family, one cousin studied photography with Ansel Adams and another has served as a staff photographer for the Indianapolis Star. Mark’s introduction to the wonders of photography began in the summer of 1981 when as a summer youth counselor he was given the responsibility of leading a photo-ecology camp, and he used his first month’s pay to purchase a Canon camera for himself. Getting hooked on photography at the time led to the college class at IU, and then on to an independent pursuit of learning the craft with the purchase of darkroom equipment. As it happened, the class project also took Mark into further exploration of his developing homosexuality as he photographed dancers at Bloomington’s gay bar, Bullwinkles, and he began the coming-out process when sharing with one of his classmates. The development of his specific intentions for collecting historical images of local LGBT life was cemented for Mark in 1987 while working in the midst of the AIDS pandemic as a volunteer buddy at the Damien Center. In early 1988, a request came from a local gay couple to take their portrait photos, and subsequently, when one of these friends moved into final stages of his HIV+/AIDS diagnosis, Mark was asked to document the process until his death in January, 1994. In 1990, Mark photographed his first same-sex wedding, and within a decade he was documenting a series of personal journeys of same-sex couples who had been together for over ten years. This culminated in a local installation of images of sixteen “Ordinary Couples,” featuring a couple who had just celebrated fifty years of their committed relationship. It was also during this period that Mark made the decision to launch his photography career, formally establishing his full-time business, Great Exposures. Local LGBT history progressed over the years through the creation of the Bag Ladies fundraising activities in support of the local AIDS community, the generating of Pride and political activism events and recognition, and culminating in recent years with the changes in local, state and national legal statutes, from DOMA being struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court to the advancement of marriage equality in the federal court proceedings in Evansville, Chicago and again at the

There is another world Where you can do anything . . .

Be anyone . . .

The byNether Jennifer Haley October 22- November 22 at the phoenix theatre For tickets or information on

Group Rates , visit phoenixtheatre.org or call the box office at 317-635-7529

Supreme Court in June 2015. Through it all, Mark was there with his (now-digital) camera, capturing the lows and highs of history in the making. Mark states, “It could be argued that individuals of my generation have lived our lives backwards: we dealt with death and dying in our twenties, began adopting kids and raising families in our thirties and forties, and marrying in our fifties and sixties. It is only fitting that this current exhibition at the IHS representing a retrospection of thirty years of images should culminate with the struggle for marriage equality.” The IHS installation will include sixty images, a combination of both black and white and color, which represent a total of 18,000 photos and are a part of the full collection of historical photos, negatives, documents and print materials that make up the Mark A. Lee LGBT Photo Collection archived in the IHS William Henry Smith Memorial Library. The exhibit images will be installed on the fourth floor of the Eugene and Marilyn Glick Indiana History Center, and will be representing four primary areas of historical focus: AIDS, the Bag Ladies, Indy Pride, and Marriage Equality. In addition, a tribute to five individuals who have made significant impact in the community will be profiled, including Rev. Howard Warren, Carol Trexler, Paul Chase, Steve Johnson, and Milton Lindren Jr. Finally, images representing the Transgender community will underscore the more recently developed accounting of life in Indiana. John Herbst, IHS President and CEO, engaged Mark in the conception of a three-year oral and visual history project and was excited when the IHS acquired Mark’s extensive collection. John says, “This is the first exhibit the IHS has done since we launched our LGBT collection initiative last year in 2014. The scope of the visual collection fills a lot of gaps that existed in the materials we preserve that tell Indiana’s stories, and we want to be able to tell everyone’s story. Many of the photographs are deeply moving and can help people reflect on how much things have changed for the LGBT community, as well as how far there is still to go in the establishment of equal rights.” On Thursday October 22, Mark A. Lee will be speaking more in depth about the exhibit and some of the changes he has experienced throughout the years at the Frank and Katrina Basile Auditorium in the IHS at 7:00 p.m., and a Q&A session will follow. For information about Mark A. Lee and his photography, visit his website at www.greatexposures.net, and for further exhibition information and other Indiana Historical Society programs, go to www.indianahistory.org or call (317) 232-1882.

UNITE TRAVEL GUIDE 2015

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TRAVEL GUIDE

columbus

Called “the most underrated gay city in America,” Columbus is a young, dynamic and diverse city with one of the country’s most open, progressive and widely embraced gay communities. That makes

ATLANTA Rooted in diversity and hospitality, Atlanta garners recognition each year for being a top gay travel destination, including landing a coveted spot on The Advocate’s 2015 list of “Queerest Cities in America.” Atlanta’s diverse population of five million residents is decidedly youthful and creative. Its vibrant neighborhoods offer endless opportunities for award-winning dining, boutique shopping and exciting nightlife for LGBT visitors each year. However, the best part of Atlanta lies not in its concrete and steel, but in its people. Visitors should come prepared to be welcomed with a healthy dose of “How y’all doing?” hospitality.

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for an ideal getaway filled with discovery. Ohio’s capital -- and its largest city -- is known for its wildly creative local food scene and richly diverse arts and cultural scene, which are made approachable by incredibly friendly and welcoming locals, both gay and straight alike. Pulsating nightlife features everything from worldclass drag shows to world beat dance clubs, kick-back sports bars and neighborhood haunts and vintage-inspired brew pubs and speakeasys. The stunning new Le Méridien Hotel, The Joseph, receives rave reviews for its exquisite art collection, elegant service and firstrate amenities. The city’s visitors bureau, Experience Columbus, makes it easy to plan a visit with one of the nation’s first and most comprehensive websites designed to welcome LGBT visitors.

TRAVEL GUIDE

richmond In 2014, Richmond came out of the closet with OutRVA, a campaign designed to show people Richmond’s strong LGBT community and highlight the area as a travel destination for LGBT travelers. Through coming out letters to destinations and celebrities, Richmond shared its true colors, the full rainbow. At RichmondisOut. com, travelers can learn more about the area from “Richmond Insiders,” LGBT Richmonders who have shared what they love about the area. Richmond Insiders are available to contact through the website so visitors can connect directly with a local and ask for recommendations when planning a trip. RichmondisOut.com also serves an outlet to celebrate Richmond’s LGBT community. Visitors are encouraged to share their own coming out stories on the site. To boost awareness for visitors, “Out” stickers can be seen throughout Richmond on storefronts, cars, food trucks and more.

jacksonville

Jacksonville, perfectly located in Northeast Florida next to the sparkling Atlantic Ocean is home to Florida’s largest LGBT population, and the perfect mix of Florida Flair and Southern Hospitality to make any getaway and unforgettable one! Whether you are looking to discover the undiscovered, ignite romance, reconnect with family or be inspired by the city’s cultural offerings, unique cuisine or vivid sunrises, anything is possible in Jacksonville. The “River City by the Sea”, boasts 22 miles of wide and relaxing beaches, close to 40 miles of the tranquil Intracoastal Waterway canal and the longest stretch of the beautiful St. Johns River making Jacksonville a boater’s dream come true. Back on land, Jacksonville is a city of parks with the largest urban-park system in the nation including 400 city parks, seven state parks and two national parks. And that’s not all! Jacksonville has a thriving cuisine and craftbeer scene and a vibrant, major cultural centers and a cosmopolitan nightlife that stretches from the beautiful Beaches all the way to our historic neighborhoods. photos appear courtesy of city tourism bureaus

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TRAVEL GUIDE

minneapolis

knoxville Honored to have been chosen “Top Ten Greatest Gay Cities in America in 2012”, Knoxville continues to produce a robust gay scene filled with arts, culture, history, musical events, outdoor adventure, shopping and culinary experiences that will impress you. Knoxville is a city that embraces diversity and respects the values of all of its citizens. Visitors can experience a diverse nightlife or a daytime filled with adventure. The LGBT community invites you to visit our ever expanding downtown, including Gay Street (listed as one of the most desirable streets by the American Planning Association in 2012), Market Square (the central hub of downtown life and several LGBT friendly restaurants), the Old City (pub, clubs and eateries), Happy Holler (a newly gentrified area and home to gay bar XYZ ), Bearden (home of Kristopher’s, many local restaurants and shopping) and West Knoxville

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Minneapolis is a great LGBT destination because it’s been a welcoming, open environment for the LGBT community for many years, being recognized many times in the past for being a top city for LGBT by publications and groups. Our Twin Cities Pride festival is one of the largest in the country and is highly attended by LGBT and non-LGBT community members. Minnesota legalized same-sex marriage in 2013 and that fall, Meet Minneapolis, welcomed LGBT couples from the market surrounding the city to marry in the “I want to marry you in Minneapolis” campaign where the city gained media coverage nationally for the effort, and subsequently won a PR News Award. The city has numerous amenities that are sought after including LGBT bars, publications and organizations, but is also a destination for arts and culture, nature, sports, shopping, and dining.

(home of The Edge and great shopping). Knoxville continues to be a trendsetter in LGBT functions with a PRIDE event that hosts over 20,000 people and proudly supports the Gay Men’s Chorus.

TRAVEL GUIDE

los angeles L.A.’s trademark creative industries have been magnets for gay and lesbian trendsetters for more than a century. Their sheer numbers and substantial influence have left a permanent, positive and gay-friendly legacy on L.A.’s culture, political climate and sense of community. LGBT life in this city of more than 15 million people continues to be as diverse and dynamic as the city itself. There is not just one gay neighborhood in this glittering metropolis: They dot the region. You could spend an entire week just exploring gay and lesbian enclaves throughout the city—from Silver Lake to West Hollywood, from Downtown to Studio City, to name just a few. To learn more about one of the world’s most enticing LGBT destinations.

las vegas

As a world-renowned travel destination, Las Vegas prides itself on having some of the best offerings in nightlife, culinary, entertainment, luxury accommodations and more. The destination openly embraces adult freedom, transformation, and the option to be whoever, whenever, which truly creates the ultimate vacation for LGBT travelers. Soak up the sun with LGBT pool parties by day and wander the Strip with the glow of neon lights at night. Go to bed as the sun rises after an evening spent at one of the many LGBT nightclubs. Embrace the glitz and glam with a show by Britney Spears, Mariah Carey or any number of spectacular performers. Let shows like Cirque du Soleil and Steve Wynn’s ShowStoppers dazzle and wow audiences. Indulge in some of the finest dishes and experience decadent cuisine from around the world. Celebrate with special events such as PRIDE in September, featuring the annual Gay Days Las Vegas, PRIDE Night Parade, Pride Festival in addition to Shedonism in October. From the world-class culinary outposts, to the showgirls, to the pools and wedding chapels, Las Vegas welcomes the LGBT community with arms open wide. photos appear courtesy of city tourism bureaus

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Season Ticket:

The Must-See Shows & Events of the Season IMA On the Flip Side: Secrets on the Backs of Paintings October 9, 2015 to October 30, 2016 This exhibition allows guests the rare chance to view paintings from all sides, including the backs where interesting details about their history, composition, and condition reside. This information can reveal clues about the works’ previous ownership, the economy of artists in reusing materials, early attempts to prevent the artworks from warping, and on occasion detailed inscriptions about the artwork’s construction that can assist conservators in preserving a work of art.

IRT: April 4, 1968 By James Still Oct. 20 – Nov. 15 An intimate look at an Indianapolis family’s collision with history. Inspired by true stories from those who were there, this world premiere offers an intimate look at one family and their personal experiences as history unfolds around them.

ISO Mahler’s Symphony No. 4 October 31

Cabaret: Marin Mazzie: Yes! It’s Today November 6 - 7

Enjoy an evening of music inspired by folk songs from around the world! Alexander Shelly and soprano Malin Christensson present Gustav Mahler’s intimate and lyrical Symphony No. 4, a work built around a children’s song from the Des Knaben Wunderhorn (“The Boy’s Magic Horn”).

Three-time Tony nominee Marin Mazzie will share an evening of music from Jerry Herman, John Kander and Fred Ebb (Mame, Mack and Mabel, And the World Goes Round, Cabaret, and more.) Marin has starred in Bullets Over Broadway, Kiss Me Kate, Ragtime, Passion, Monty Python’s Spamalot, Next to Normal, Into the Woods and more.

Garfield Park Arts Center Electric Light: Fluorescent and Neon in Contemporary Art Practice November 7-18 ISO Brahms’ Piano Concerto No. 1 November 6-7 The power of the fiery, young Johannes Brahms - his impassioned First Piano Concerto. “A powerhouse performer,” raves The Guardian of London of Dejan Lazi.. Plus, the First Symphony of Beethoven the first of nine that will change the course of music.

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In recognition of neon and fluorescent art, this group exhibition will feature inspired uses of luminescence in painting, film, textile, and light. The repurposing of neon in contemporary art captures attention and emotion in striking ways. Historically, neon light and paint were utilized in the commercial marketplace and were considered exclusively functional to sell products.

Season Ticket:

The Must-See Shows & Events of the Season Eiteljorg Jingle Rails: The Great Western Adventure Nov. 21 - Jan. 18

Indianapolis Symphonic Choir: 25th Anniv. - Festival of Carols Dec. 6-20 (Select Dates & Venues)

Enter a locomotive wonderland-a network of trestles, bridges and tunnels with chugging trains and detailed replicas of national treasures, all made of natural materials like twigs, moss and nuts and wrapped up in holiday trimming. Jingle Rails: The Great Western Adventure is a journey to the Great American West – the real West and the West of the imagination.

Add sparkle, shimmer, and musical magic to your holiday season as Festival of Carols celebrates its 25th anniversary. Featuring your all-time favorite Christmas carols sung by the Indianapolis Symphonic Choir with the Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra and special guests, including old St. Nick himself.

Broadway in Indianapolis 2015-2016 Season Cirque Dreams Holidaze December 15-20, 2015 *Old National Centre Encore: Messiah with the Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra December 13-14 Encore joins the Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra and the Tabernacle Presbyterian Church choir for Handel’s Messiah. Come hear this beloved seasonal favorite in an intimate chamber setting.

Indianapolis Children’s Choir December 18 - 19 In a holiday tradition, the angelic voices of the Indianapolis Children’s Choir present holiday favorites for all ages. Their beautiful sounds of the season are the perfect fit for your holiday.

Cirque Dreams lights up with 2015 holiday season with its critically acclaimed holiday stage extravaganza Cirque Dreams Holidaze; a new cirque show, Broadway musical and family Christmas spectacular all in one!

Broadway in Indianapolis - 2015-2016 Season The Wizard of Oz January 12-17 *Clowes Memorial Hall This new production of The Wizard of Oz is an enchanting adaptation of the all-time classic, totally reconceived for the stage.

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