LEARNING TO LET GO

Saying hi to saying bye.

words: Rachel Musman | design: Cindy Zhang

It’s no secret that saying goodbye can be nearly impossible. Gutwrenching and nauseating don’t even begin to describe the feeling, yet somehow it is also liberating. If you are anything like me, A.K.A. an anxious overthinker, learning to just let go may take more than a deep breath. Saying goodbye to anything is difficult, but the process of accepting you need to let go of a relationship, and actually doing so, can take all of your strength.

Starting to think of letting go as gaining something has been worldshifting for me. It is as simple as having the “glass half full” mindset.

Letting go of something that is holding you back isn’t stripping yourself of anything; it’s just giving yourself the best shot at becoming truly happy.

Just like how when your frat sneakers get too dirty, you move on and get a different pair. Learning to move on and get over a relationship that isn’t beneficial to you anymore is the same thing. But then again, it’s no question that saying goodbye to a partner may be slightly more challenging than saying goodbye to your ratty-old Nike Air Forces.

When you’re in a relationship they naturally become involved in your daily routine. You want to get food-you call them. You are out at night-you go where they are. You got a bad coffee from Dunkin-you text them and complain (or maybe I’m just whitney). Your partner becomes your person. It can be incredibly special and an important part of growing up to experience young love. But if a relationship reaches its expiration date, it can take a toll on you and your partner.

For a while, I knew deep down it was over with my ex. It had gotten to the point where the bad just outweighed the good. When I knew that chapter was coming to an end, I was terrified. I kept holding onto the memories of the good times and burying the gut feeling I had of knowing the end was near. Being so codependent, I noticed I prioritized him over myself. Unlearning how to love someone and letting go of a relationship, even one that is hurting you, is an extremely difficult thing to go through. As much as I was hurt, I had to put things in perspective–I am 20 years old, this is not the end of the world; even though it felt like it. There were so many moments where all I felt was emptiness. But the void where he used to be I eventually filled on my own and with my friends. This didn’t happen overnight. It took time to learn to be secure in myself.

As much as we would all like to have our whole lives figured out, taking a step back and realizing that life is all about finding happiness in the little things, and that the unknown doesn’t have to be scary- it can be empowering. A bad grade, a minor fight with a friend, not getting the internship you wanted; whatever it is, these things suck. But life will go on. Letting go of negative emotions that bring you no good will only be a step in the right direction.