Otwo , Volume XVIII - Issue 11 by The University Observer

27th March 2012 Issue XI Volume XVIII

OTWO

The Arts & Culture Supplement of the University Observer

Michael D. Higgins The Presidential Poet keeps s OTWO on the edge of our seat

Also inside >>

Nero | Bombay

Bicycle Club |

De la Soul | Th

e Demise of 3-

D Films

OTWO

contents

Letter from the Editors

Page 3 – Regulars

Rob Mac Carthy is going after all you people who can’t point out Uganda on a map, while Aoife Valentine gets her Hot/Not barometer out once again

Page 4 – Spiritual & Gender-related Advice Mitten, Dixon etc. – you know the drill. Wouldn’t it be cool if Mittens was renamed Mason; well, y’know, cool in a ‘let’s make an easy reference to pre-civil American quasi-geographical racial boundaries’ kind of way.

Page 5 – What’s On

It’s time to start the music; it’s time to light the lights, because the Muppets brasher, swearier cousins from Avenue Q are coming to the Bord Gáis Energy Theatre, as Evan O’Quigley found out.

Page 6 – Fashion

Sophie Lioe explores the benefits of clashing prints, and Niamh Hynes looks at ridiculous celebrity endorsements today.

Page 9 – Food

Lizzy Beecham teaches us some West African recipes, while Eimear McGovern provides some cupcake goodness.

Page 10 – Travel

It’s all Europe, all the time as our writers go to Paris, Madrid and Rome this week.

Page 12 – Games & Technology

We have reviews of Asura’s Wrath and Mass Effect 3, plus Rory Crean delves into the recent success and failures of franchises past and present.

Page 14 – Cover Feature

Some elderly poet. He may also be the current President of Ireland, but we’re less concerned about that. Sort of.

Page 16 – Film & TV

The Hunger Games, The Island President and This is Not a Film get the once over, while Dermot O’Rourke explores the world of 3-D cinema and recounts his Top Ten dystopias in film. Finally, the Foursome debate TV’s best family.

Page 20 – Music

Interviews galore as we take down De la Soul’s David Juse Jolicoeur, Nero, Lostprophets, Bombay Bicycle Club and Swans’ Michael Gira, plus Duffington, Mixtape and all the latest album reviews.

Page 28 – Backpage Bants

So, Tallafornia ended, making it a viable source of conversation for our voxpopers, apparently. Also, A Betrayal of Penguins get their Ordinary Level on.

Issue 11 – The President, the Prophet & the Pater Patriae Oh hai, Six in the morning the Sunday before we go to print is not the ideal time to be wrapping up Otwo, but Issue Eleven has found itself with the enviable title of ‘Third issue we wish to name Kevin’. Why do we hate Kevin so much? We don’t really, but Issue Eleven has definitely refused, more than any issue before it, to bend to our will. It was only playing though, as just when nightmares about blank pages and white spreadsheets threatened haunt our precious sleep, we somehow had more content than we had pages. Hurrah! Why is any of this relevant? Well, we like to think you care and this space has to be filled with some nice rambling, but most importantly it means yet another issue full of awesome for your libraryaddled minds. If you somehow missed Michael D. gesticulating wildly on the cover, you’ll find his incredibly articulate and inspiring words, and probably more wild flailing in the centre. Not only that, but floating around music we have a very sleepy Ed from Bombay Bicycle Club in for chats, along with Nero and his electronic madness, Michael Gira of Swans, who doesn’t look anything like you’d imagine, and hip-hop hero David Jude Jolicoeur of De La Soul. All that without even mentioning Lostprophets. Put some more clothes on, lads.

Back in What’s On, hit musical number, Avenue Q is all about the puppets and bantz, while the very lovely A Betrayal of Penguins sit down to take our very tough Ordinary Level exam, far far away on the back page. If features are your thing, you’re in for a treat, because we have many. Fashion looks at why the Lana Del Rey Mulberry bag exists when she’s been around less time than our breakfast has, food goes all West African, games takes a look at how some notable franchises have woken up from their long-term coma and got with the real world, and finally, film is giving 3D the frosty reception it definitely deserves. Take that, pointless new Titantic re-release. That’s not all though. As always, all your favourite regulars and reviews are here so you know what’s hot and what’s not, what’s good and what’s… not, and all that jazz. Saving you from the terrible fate of encountering things that are not is definitely something we strive for, probably. Except Tallafornia; we lied before. Watch the Swipe, it’s too many lols. On that very culturally inspired and truly well-informed note, we shall leave you to figure out what’s going on with all the lovely content we didn’t mention. It’s like a game, if that game was really shit.

Night! Aoife and George

Armchair Activism What’s hot and what’s not

What’s Hot The New Shins Album

Five years since Wincing the Night Away was released, the Shins have finally managed to squeeze out another album. Port of Morrow may be longawaited by fans, and there may have been fears that it would be more of a Mercer solo project than a real Shins album with the new band line-up, but worry not, it is still assuredly Shins-y. Not so long next time, yeah?

OTWO

soapbox

Sick of people pretending they’re political activists from the comfort of their armchairs, Robert Mac Carthy is pretty sure the Kony 2012 movement is as bad as the man himself

S Club Reforming

S Club 2 have been doing the college circuit for several years now, but the whole band is said to be reforming, having decided it’s “a case of now or never” this week. That, or enough time has passed since Jo’s stint in the Big Brother house, and the rest of them haven’t been up to much anyway. They don’t stop, never give up, and are bringing it all back to you.

King Gold Standard Wexford Cheddar Crisps

We rarely trust anything that resorts to declaring itself ‘King’ as some sort of confusing marketing tool, but in this case, King may have actually managed to live up to their name. Even managing to surpass Tayto levels of nom, it would seem that Wexford Cheddar is superior to whatever nonsense they put in any other crisps.

What’s Not The End of Tallafornia

So here at Otwo, we will happily embrace hypocrisy when necessary, and this is one of those times. Tallafornia may have placed high on the What’s Not list mere weeks ago, but we take it all back. Tallafornia was a peculiar kind of genius which brought ‘so bad, it’s good’ to a whole new level, and while we won’t miss seeing Nikita’s vajazzle every other minute, the impending lack of lols has us lost.

Waiting for responses to internship applications

You sold your soul and your dreams of a J1 in exchange for filling out application forms so long they may as well have asked for a copy of your primary school reports and a history of your sexual health, and then you hear nothing. It doesn’t matter that they said it would be April when you would hear, you want to make summer plans now and the waiting game is not fun. Wah!

Jessica Simpson does a Demi Moore

So apparently Jessica Simpson is pregnant; presumably no one knew because no one even knows who she is anymore. And apparently the people at Elle don’t care as they’ve put a very pregnant and naked Jessica on their cover. Why? It was kind of cool when Demi did it, but a million celebrities later, we don’t care. Put your clothes back on. by Aoife Valentine

t is not often you can include attempting to topple a Ugandan warlord on your list of internet activities, sitting casually amongst your status updates and endless enjoyment of lolcats. The internet is a strange and powerful place, however. Usually just a breeding ground for illiteracy, bigotry and hand cramps, for the vast majority of its users, the internet is just one great big waste of time, gradually dumbing us down and killing us in the most docile way imaginable. That was until a man named Kony came along, and turned it into a political activist’s paradise. If you who have no idea who Joseph Kony is, it actually begs the question how exactly one manages to breathe while living under such a big rock, because as every man and his dog now knows, Mr Kony is a Ugandan tyrant more famous than Jesus, Michael Jackson and Newcastle striker Demba Ba combined. He would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids... on the internet. One impressively glossy viral video has left him more hated than Osama Bin Hitler. Now, hating a despot who raises a child army is no bad thing, in fact I would go as far to say that it’s probably a good thing. The trouble is though, hating someone doesn’t achieve anything. So sharing a video to raise awareness of an evil man achieves nothing if the only result is hatred. The Kony 2012 internet phenomenon is effectively a load of western people shaking their fists angrily in the air and nothing more. There is no end product. It’s like someone has stolen your lemon tree and all you can do is shout, “Shake harder boy!” It is the most impotent form of activism possible. The inactivity of liking a video aside, we’re now faced with the twin issues of whether its maker is truly the morally upright institution we had hoped. With rumours of hidden agendas, public indecency and who knows what else plaguing the anti-Kony lobby, one can’t help feeling slightly cheated; emotionally manipulated, even. It’s not just Ugandan warlords that are used to play on our sense of moral outrage, however. How often have you seen a picture of a mangled dog on Facebook under which you are told to ‘Like and share’ because for every ‘like’, a euro will be donated to the anti-mangled dog trust? That’s emotional blackmail, plain and clear. Besides, if you genuinely have an infinite amount of money to donate to charity, why don’t you just donate it already? Why are you holding back? At the end of all this only one thing has been achieved: Joseph Kony won’t be getting any friend 3 requests any time soon. Long live the internet.

OTWO

Mystic Mittens’ feline fortunes Taurus

May 14th – June 21st The Voice, eh? You’ll watch anything, it seems.

Virgo

September 17th – October 30th Virgo sounds similar to virgin. That’s right! I’m predicting someone will give you your virginity back, or forcibly reinsert it, because that’s how that works. Top quality fortunes right here.

Gemini

Refereshed after the break , Mittens’ predictions are more psychic than ever

June 22nd – July 20th Gemini, you will eat that twin of yours and get fat. Well, at least that’s what your excuse will be for an inexplicable weight gain.

Aries

Coltrane, old buddy, I got a problem. As with all problems, it begins and ends with a broad. Now, this girl is the light of my life. She’s the pepper on the steak, the kick in the whiskey, and the slow, easy wind on a warm summer’s evening. I love this dame like I never loved any hat or gun. Thing is, though, she’s trying to get me to put down my notepad and pistol and take up the quiet life. Become an accountant, go for walks in the Berkshires, have dinner parties, even. I don’t want to lose her sweet loving, but giving up what makes me a hard-boiled flatfoot is anathema to my very soul. What do I do, buddy? Yours etc, Hounded in Harper’s Wharf Listen here Hounded, Boy HIHW, you write a good letter. I mean, you’re like a hundred-dollar hooker who only works while standing up; you do it up right. So, now we’ve for the greatest joke of all time out of the way, it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty of your shitty biddy issue. I get a lot of questions that all follow the same pattern; my girlfriend is a thing, and boy howdy, I wish I was this other thing, but she just wants me to be a thing. Every single time, my response is the same; do you have legs and money for bus fare? You know where I’m going with this; 4

Capricorn

October 31st – November 23rd In the event of a fire, toast some marshmallows. Don’t worry about the dog; his lungs were giving up on him anyway.

January 21st – February 16th You will be crestfallen when SU shops run out of Paddy’s Day Natural Confectionery Company jellies and you have to start paying full price for them again. There’ll be no trumpets, only sad trombones.

Scorpio

Aquarius

Ophiuchus

Pisces

Libra

Cancer

July 21st – August 10th You will steal a couple of hundred grand, but don’t worry, it’ll take fifteen years and a few hundred million euro to prove you ever did anything. You’ll be dead by then. April 19th - May 13th I know, I know; you’ve been back a week and 10am still feels way too early, but fear not, exams will soon be upon you and you’ll forget sleep ever existed.

Sagittarius

December 18th - January 20th Your bus fares will rise by the day, but sure, you knew that anyway. Poor sod.

Leo

August 11th – September 16th Mad Men’s back; that’s good news. Maybe you’ll stop talking about it this week, but probably not.

November 24th – November 29th You will be urinated on from a great height. The assailant’s accuracy is so uncanny that I’d suggest you tip your hat to him, but you’d just get more piss in your hair.

November 30th – December 17th

So’s your face. Of course that makes sense. Shut up!

February 17th – March 11th As a Radiohead fan and massive hypochondriac, you will believe yourself to have contracted myxomatosis, but only rabbits get that. Silly billy.

March 12th – April 18th You will find a dead body. Just keep on walking; snitches get stitches.

Leave your questions for the dashing detective on the Dixon Coltrane Facebook page

kick your girl out with those aforementioned legs, and throw bus fare down the hall after her. Why should she keep the house? Ladies can be homeless too – that’s where feminism gets you. Sure, some people will tell you that relationships are precious and unique little seedlings, that need to be tended to, watered and firmly planted in reprocessed animal dung. I’m more of a ‘fuck your girlfriend’ kind of advice columnist, and by that I mean both that you should not put up with substandard girlfriendry, and also that I might bang your girlfriend. I do see your problem though, and I understand; you love this skirt; she’s the ankle of your eye. But even the most beautiful woman has flaws, like a predilection for domestification or twisty breasts. The real question with you, Hounded, is when do you settle?

Dixon Coltrane Real Men Smoke on Airplanes When do you decide that the lady is more important to you than the job, or the life, or the adventures you might have with pearl-lined peroxide perkies and pump-action pill-poppers? Let’s be frank; when do you decide that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and stick your hand in that bird once and for all? There’s no easy answer Hounded, but you just got to think about what you really want. Do you want this dame? Do you want to maintain your detective life? How could you possibly

choose? The answer is, of course, you don’t. A good rule of thumb for all relationships, be it with your family, friends, or liquor store clerk, is just do what you’re gonna do, and value those who stick around. Do what makes you happy, and if the doll sticks, you know it’s bona fide. If she walks, you know she was never meant for you in the first place, and you just let her walk. Unless she’s got really, really twisty breasts, then you sit there and think long and hard. That’s the rub, Dixon Coltrane

OTWO

Can you tell me how to get to

Avenue Q? Y ou may not have heard of Avenue Q. Well, you may think you have not heard of Avenue Q. There is a high chance however, that you have heard one of the many songs the adult musical comedy has produced. Many of the musical numbers including ‘The Internet is for Porn’ and ‘If You Were Gay’ have been viewed millions of times online, often in the form of original footage of the show being performed on Broadway and across the world, or in various parodies featuring characters from video games and television shows. The musical features dirtyminded puppets in a coming of age parable, which reflects on and satirises many issues such as racism, pornography, the purpose in life and growing up. After it originally premiered in 2003, the Broadway production won three Tony Awards, including Best Musical. It has been described as an adult version of Sesame Street by the likes of Entertainment Weekly and the New Yorker. Chris Thatcher, one of the stars of the current cast, agrees with this comparison, telling Otwo, “It is like [an adult Sesame Street], except as a kid you learn your ABCs, as an adult you learn things about relationships and so on.” Thatcher explains that it is the puppet element of the show that has made it so successful. “People just seem to warm to puppets, you can do things you wouldn’t be able to do as an actor. It’s a different art form. As a performer, as a human, you can’t go too big with your performance. You try not to detract too much away from the puppet. You want to match the puppet but not too much to the extent that the audience just watch you and not the puppet.” The implementation of puppets in the musical has allowed the show to satirise and comment on events that would otherwise be more difficult. “The thing about having a puppet there is you can say things you wouldn’t be able to get away with saying. People would say, ‘That’s bad, that’s out of order.’ When a puppet says it, people say, ‘Oh, it’s okay, they’re innocent.’ It’s like a puppy, or a very young child. If you were to hear a baby swearing at an adult, rather than thinking, ‘Oh god, that’s really bad’, you would [think it’s okay because] they don’t know what they’re saying.” While generally speaking this has allowed Avenue Q to touch on subjects such as pornography without any trouble, there have

Chris Thatcher, star of the astoundingly politically incorrect musical Avenue Q talks to Evan O’Quigley about puppets, performance and pornography

been occasions where the show’s The cast are not hidden during up with current affairs. In the final risqué material has led to awkthe production, and stand on stage song, ‘For Now’ the cast explain ward situations. On more than one with the puppets. However, as that everything, both bad and occasion people have gone to see Thatcher explains, this has never good, is only for the time being. the musical without realising what been an issue for the audience, as This originally included the line they were subjecting themselves they naturally watch the puppets. “George Bush is only for now,” but to. “One night we had a family, of “A lot of people say, at the start since the often decried President all these aristocratic kind of people. they find themselves looking at left office, he has been replaced in It was the whole family: the mums, the puppet and the puppeteer, and the show by perhaps even more the dads, the grandma the grandpa then they’ll say ‘Oh, by the end I divisive figures. Last year’s show and the son and his fiancé. They was just watching the puppet’… If I used the line, “Jedward is only for were all in the front row. They just have an expression of shock on my now” instead. For this current tour, looked disgusted; it was hilarious. face, which will be projected onto it has changed again. However, So for the rest of the show a lot of the puppet and it will look shocked, Thatcher remains mysterious, sayme and my friends were finding the and if I look happy, the puppet will ing, “If you want to know what it is, show funnier than the audience look happy as well.” you’ll have to come along.” were.” Thatcher explained that Avenue Q has now been playing although most people know what for nine years, and although it has Avenue Q will play the Board Gáis they can expect from the show, he generally kept the same form, there Energy Theatre from Tuesday warned that, “If you don’t do your have been changes in references to April 3rd to Saturday 7th. Tickets research, you can be in for a shock.” popular culture and politics to keep are priced from €25.

“It is like an adult Sesame Street, except as a kid you learn your ABCs, as an adult you learn things about relationships and so on”

Opposites Attract

actrttA sitesppoO

OTWO Fashion

Maggie wears: Red dress · €50 · a|wear Pumps · €6 · Penneys Headscarf · Model’s own

Ciara wears: Tank top · €7 · Penneys Spotty shorts · €9 · Penneys Heels · €21 Penneys

Fashion OTWO

his week’s shoot features the trend that will no doubt ensure your summer attire is stellar this year. Clashing patterns may seem like sartorial suicide, but it is by far spring/summer 2012’s hottest trend. Like it or not, pattern-on-pattern is here to stay. Clashing prints, by its very ethos, means placing colours and patterns together that would not normally co-exist. Vivid hues and clashing patterns are back, and they are bigger, better and more loco then ever. Stripes, dots, floral and leopard print can and should be worn together. Colour-blocking is a no-no, colour-clashing is the way forward; think colour opposites as opposed to colour complements. The clothes should not complement each other, but clash and highlight each other’s varied patterns. This trend highlights the fun side of fashion; the serendipity that can be achieved by wearing what should not be worn together. Too many of us take our look too seriously and

this trend is essentially going in the face of the bland beige blazer and black jeans brigade. Colour is not something to be feared, even if it may seem very brash to don the entire colour spectrum. After all, what is good enough for Erdem is good enough for us. The catwalks this season were graced by gowns of mismatched flower prints, brightly coloured silk trousers and monochrome floral shirts. Designers such as Celine, Wang, Valentino and Van Noten all featured head-to-toe digital print florals and tropical blooms in their respective fashion shows. The highstreet has responded with many patterned offerings, providing us mere mortals with the opportunity to dip our toes into this pool of fashion. A striped luxe t-shirt paired with patterned trousers is a fail-safe outfit for this spring. Add a blazer and some boots for day, or heels and chandelier earrings for night. A patterned playsuit is cute and dead simple, perfect for the upcoming festival frivolities.

For the colour-fearing amongst us, a printed shirt could be the perfect injection for an otherwise lethargic outfit. The shirt is an easy way to incorporate pattern and to spruce up your everyday outfit. They are fun, stylish and multi-functional enough to go from day to night, and can be seen across the high street. A|Wear has great fashion-forward patterns in classic cuts, while Topshop has

Versace-style trash down to a tee. Finish off the outfit with last season’s chinos and some pointy pumps, and you have one easy wardrobe update. There’s a little bit of pattern out there for everyone, with patterned shoes, bags and scarves engulfing the shops. This trend epitomises the fresh, modern approach to spring, and there’s not a hint of Granny’s patterned curtains in sight. by Emily Mullen

Models: Maggie Rek and Ciara Mc Gowan Photographer: Caoimhe McDonnell Stylist: Sophie Lioe Clothes: a|wear and Penneys

Maggie wears: Patterned leggings · €9 · Penneys Nude top · €32 · a|wear Collared top · €8 · Penneys Boots · Model’s own Ciara wears: Dress · €68 · a|wear Cardigan· €16 · Penneys

Ciara wears: Striped top · €30 · a|wear Patterned jeans · €35 · a|wear Pumps · €6 · Penneys Headscarf · Model’s own

Michael wears: T·shirt · €12.99 Leather jacket · as before

OTWO Fashion

Blue Jeans & Mulberry Bags With Lana Del Ray having few real credentials in the fashion world, Niamh Hynes examines how celebrity endorsements are becoming more prevalent and less credible

lick through any copy of Vogue, Elle or Harper’s Bazaar, and it’s difficult not to notice editorials punctuated by advertisements featuring celebrities. Mila Kunis for Dior, Nicki Minaj for MAC, Dakota Fanning for Marc Jacobs, Felicity Jones for Dolce and Gabbana; there seems to be an endless stream of brand ambassadors. This is before we even mention that most magazines carry celebrities on the cover, a move pioneered by Anna Wintour back in the early nineties. Fashion Weeks have more singers, actresses and ‘It girls’ sitting in the front rows than ever before, with some reportedly pocketing the not-so-paltry sum of 70,000 euro for their presence. With many fashion houses rallying to ride out the recession, is the publicity generated by having such celebrities associated with their brand a valuable publicity asset, or are we beginning to reach saturation point with both the amount and the legitimacy of these collaborations? High profile endorsements have been around from the beginnings of luxury fashion itself. Charles Frederick Worth, known as the ‘Father of Haute Couture’ dominated Parisian fashion in the latter half of the nineteenth century. Worth recognised that linking well-known public figures with a brand was a powerful marketing and communications tool. Patronage of ‘La Maison Worth’ by the Empress Eugenie, then wife of Emperor Napoleon III, contributed greatly to the success of his brand – at a time when the concept of celebrity as we know it today was unfathomable. Many in the fashion world believed it was only a matter of 8

time before Lana Del Rey was approached by a fashion house to endorse their brand. Young, pretty, exuding old Hollywood glamour and currently generating enough headlines to ensure maximum publicity and consequently exposure for any brand; it could be argued she was a natural choice for Mulberry’s creative director Emma Hill to name her autumn/ winter 2012 icon bag after. Controversy about her vocal abilities aside, Del Rey has been accepted wholeheartedly by the fashion world. Sitting front row at Mulberry’s autumn/winter show at London Fashion Week (where she debuted her namesake bag), she appeared on the cover of British Vogue’s March edition and will reportedly accompany Joseph Altuzarra, this year’s CFDA/ Vogue Fashion fund winner, to the 2012 Costume Institute Gala, also known as the Met Ball – one of the most anticipated events of the fashion year. The question that arises from this is just what exactly are Del Rey’s fashion credentials? The announcement meant she joins the ranks of Alexa Chung, Jane Birkin, and Grace Kelly. Each have had luxury brands, Mulberry and Hermes respectively, name bags after them, but only following successful and established careers and the consensus of iconic style status. In comparison, Del Rey seems a novice, and more risky from a commercial point of view. The Alexa Mulberry has been credited with helping the company buck the trend of the recession – quadrupled profits in 2011 for the company could be attributed in part to the sell-out success of the bag. However, this success followed years of recognition and appreciation of Chung’s style in the mainstream media and by fashion designers the

world over, for many of whom she is a muse. Her distinctive dress sense has made her a generational icon and veritable force in fashion today, with a loyal cult following, and has meant collaborations with high street chains New Look and Vero Moda, as well as front row seats at Chanel, Burberry, and Marc Jacobs to name a few, not to mention campaigns with Pepe Jeans, Superga and Madewell. Not all celebrity endorsements can claim quite the same level of success. One of the more infamous collaborations of recent years was Lindsay Lohan’s for Emanuel Ungaro. Indeed, Emanuel Ungaro himself, who has sold his interest in the business and is no longer involved with the label, described the collection as “a disaster” following its showcase. The collection sent models with glittery heart shaped nipple pasties down the runway, leaving the audience “aghast”. Women’s Wear Daily described Lohan’s debut with Ungaro as “embarrassing” and

painful to watch. Lohan’s creative direction showed it takes more than just the ability to wear another designer and look good in pictures to make it in the fashion industry. It also seemed farcical in the context of practicing designers that someone of such limited experience could act at the helm of a major fashion house. Hugely successful collaborations, recently seen with Alexa Chung and Kate Moss, seem to depend on whether the fashion credentials of the celebrity in question are genuine. As for the Del Rey, only time will tell. The bag, which is said to encapsulate Lana’s mastery of the “style of Old Hollywood, mixing it with an edgy sense of fun,” launches in May. Whether it’s Kate Moss designing bags for Longchamp, lines for Topshop and now Mango, or Christian Louboutin naming a shoe “The Blake” in honour of a certain Ms. Lively; for better or worse, it appears that the celebrity endorsement is here to stay.

Food OTWO

African Soul Food Fancy something a bit exotic? Instead of grabbing for the phone and ordering a not-so-authentic Chinese or Indian, let Elizabeth Beecham show you how to make some real West African cuisine

est African cooking, particularly Ghanaian cooking, lends itself perfectly to a busy student lifestyle. It is dominated by soups, stews and curries – one pot wonders that don’t involve any intricate cooking techniques, are healthy when contrasted to other ethnic styles of cooking, and are absolutely delicious. The key to many West African dishes is a ‘holy trinity’ of onions, tomato purée and spices. Another fantastic reason to try your hand at cooking some West African food is that you can temper the heat to suit your own tastes. The most commonly used spices in Ghanaian cooking are dried red pepper and powered ginger, store cupboard essentials for most of us.

In terms of utensils, a frying pan and a saucepan are all you really need to make satisfying and delicious West African food. Specialist African food shops have popped up all over the country in recent years and are also great places to refresh your hair with some lovely extensions or pick up other accessories. The best place to source ingredients is Dublin’s Moore Street, which has plenty of shops with very fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as affordable spices in large quantities. The Rathmines and Camden Street areas are also good spots to pick up typical ingredients. Here are some simple recipe ideas to get you started cooking like an African, so step away from the takeaway menu and try your hand.

Jollof Rice The West African ‘paella’, this meat and rice dish is the ultimate one pot wonder. Firstly decide whether you are in the mood for chicken or beef – both are equally delicious. For four servings, boil 500g of diced stewing beef for approximately one hour in salted water (half the time for chicken). Fry some chopped onions (roughly three big onions per 500g of meat) in a large saucepan until brown. Then, add a few tablespoons of tomato purée to the onions. Once wellcooked into the onions, add a tin of chopped tomatoes. Cook until you have a thick sauce and season with dried red pepper (paprika can also substitute). When the meat is ready, add it to the sauce with half of the cooking stock. Wash four cups of white long grain rice (this removes excess starch) and add to the pot. Cook on a medium heat for about an hour, stirring every fifteen minutes or so to avoid the meat sticking to the base. Serve with steamed carrots or spinach.

Chilli Pepper Sauce A spicy accompaniment to cooked chicken, salmon, turkey or red kidney beans. Fry some chopped onions until golden. Chop some chillies into small chunks and add to the onions. Fry until well cooked. Then add a little tomato puree to bring the sauce together. Simples. “Ma onko” – as they would say in Fanti, a Ghanaian tribal dialect; tuck in!

Fried Plantain Wonderful as a starter or in place of potatoes for your main course. Similar to bananas in appearance, plantains are more robust, with a thicker skin. Try to get green plantain and allow them to ripen in your kitchen for two days or so (do your best to recreate a tropical environment to make them feel less homesick by placing them in a sunny and warm spot by a window). Peel and slice the plantain into 2cm thick pieces. Season the slices with some salt and ginger, and fry in very hot oil. Cook the plantain until it is a deep, golden brown. Drain off excess oil using a piece of kitchen paper. You can then eat the pieces as they are, or serve with chutney to dip. Bags of plantain chips can also be found in African food shops for an equatorial twist on Taytos.

Elmo Cupcakes The cupcake has been the ‘it dessert’ of the last few years, but with all its themes and variations, how does one make this simple treat remain exciting, asks Eimear McGovern

agnolia Bakery and Famous Cupcakes have both made their fortunes on elaborate decorations of the cupcake, along with many other bakeries of their ilk. In the world of blogging, 52 Cupcakes, Bakerella, and Cupcake Bake Shop are proclaimed to be focused on baking, yet they centre on just one basic treat – the cupcake. While you may look upon establishments such as the Magnolia Bakery with envy, practice makes perfect, and it is not hard to make a cupcake your signature treat once you have perfected icing and other toppings. Sesame Street’s Elmo is recognised around the world, by nostalgic college students and children alike – to make him even more appealing, his face is easy to recreate on the top of a cupcake. To make twelve cupcakes you will need: · 100g self raising flour · 100g caster sugar · 100g butter, softened · 2 eggs (beaten) For the topping you will need: · White chocolate Buttons · Fruit Pastilles · Oreos · 250g icing sugar · Red food colouring Prepare the icing first, so that it has time to thicken. Mix the icing sugar with a small amount of hot water until you achieve a smooth, drizzly consistency. Add the red food colouring for a bright red colour (be careful not too add too much immediately, as a little goes a long way). For the cupcakes, pre-heat your oven to 180°C. Line a twelve-hole cupcake tin with cupcake cases. Beat the sugar and butter (preferably with an electric whisk) until smooth and pale. Gradually sift in the flour and then add the eggs. Mix until fully combined (you may need to add a drop of milk to loosen the batter if it’s too stiff). Divide the mixture between the twelve cupcake cases, pop into the oven and cook for twelve to fifteen minutes, or until golden. Leave to cool on a wire rack. When the cupcakes are cool, coat them in red icing. Leave for a minute or two until the icing has begun to set, and then attach two white buttons for eyes, a Fruit Pastille for a nose, and an Oreo cut in half for a smile. Otwo used a crumb of Oreo for pupils, attached with a drop of white icing; however, a raisin would also work. 9

OTWO travel

Hidden Gem

Foire du Trône, Paris

If you want gut-busting rides without being molested by Mickey Mouse, then you should eschew Disneyland and head to Foire du Trône, according to Stefan Bracken

hen you think of a Parisian theme park, what comes to mind? Probably an image of Minnie Mouse and her evil minions masquerading in a giant world of kiddy rides. No offence to Disneyland, but the theme park you should be going to doesn’t charge fifty euro for a day trip or force you to queue for hours. What you should be excited about is Foire du Trône; a fortress of crazy rides and cheap as chips prices that lies a mere fifteen minutes away from central Paris by Metro. This wonderful park is open from noon to midnight, from the April 6th to June 3rd this year and is located in the Pelouse de Reuilly (take Metro line 8 and get off at Liberté). However, be warned: some of the rides are not for the faint hearted. ‘Le Power Max’ heaves you into the air at a sickening ninety kilometres per hour, while ‘Le Star Flyer’ is very similar to those electronic swing sets that bring you round and round , except it brings you up to a chilling sixty metres in the air. Thankfully, there is also a giant Ferris wheel, as well as plenty of rides and activities for the kids (or less brave amongst you). You can even practice your French with the locals and try to win a prize with the fun sideshow games. Fast food restaurants are a plentiful and beer is served everywhere. The best thing about of Foire de Trône, however, is that that are never any queues and rides are cheap, priced at two to five euro depending on the deadliness of the ride. There is no entry fee so unlike Disneyland you can do and spend as much as you like. And you can save even more by buying a selection of attraction tickets at a discounted rate in any of the Fnac stores littered around Paris. 10

Madrid, Spain Find a UCD student on Erasmus, wait for Ryanair to announce a seat sale and pounce on the chance to visit this European wonder, writes Elaine Lavery

id-March to early April is the perfect time to visit Madrid. While Ireland is still fairly chilly, the Spanish capital sits under blue skies, a glaring sun and temperatures high enough to warm the bones, but not too hot to keep you inside. Staying in the city centre is always a plus; however, Madrid’s metro system is streets ahead of anything Dublin has to offer, and is more on a par with the major cities of the world. Wherever you are staying – even if it is for a short stay – it is in the city centre that you will want to be. Like any old world city, Madrid is steeped in history. This can be appreciated by simply strolling its streets and marveling at arcane architectural feats such as the Palacio Real de Madrid, the official residence of the Spanish Royal Family in the city, or the Palacio de las Comunicaciones, Madrid’s main post office. Continuing on the cultural trail, why not venture into one of Madrid’s museums? Do pay a visit, even if you are not a culture vulture, because they are gratuito (free!) for all students with a student card. The most famous museum, Museo Nacional del Prado, houses one of the world’s finest collections of European art, from the twelfth century to the early nineteenth century. Even if you do not know your van Gogh from your da Vinci, the vivacity of the many old portraits, never mind the colours and textures of the paintings, are spectacular (Francisco Goya is the artist most extensively represented in the collection). The Reina Sofia and Caxia Forum also come very highly recommended. While Otwo would not normally advocate spending time shopping whilst abroad, fans of Inditex clothing – Zara, Bershka, Massimo

Dutti – must pay a visit to one of these stores, even if only to gasp at the price tags (significantly cheaper than Dublin) and much wider offering of ‘fast fashion’ than we get from their branches here. If shopping is what you seek, the Spanish chain Mango has several stores in the city, but if you have deep pockets, the up-market street Calle Serrano in the Salamanca area is for you. When it is time to eat, Spanish sustenance is the only way to go. If on a tight budget, consider doing as the Spanish do, and have your main meal in the middle of the day. Most restaurants in the city offer traditional three course lunches into the late afternoon, for little more than ten euro. Then, by the time it comes to half ten or eleven at night, you will be ready to eat again – this time tapas. You may have to take a punt on the first tapas bar you visit, unless you are with someone who is in the know. In general, a bit of grunge and plenty of locals are good signs. Otwo happened upon a gem, Tapas-Matador, just off the famous plaza, Puerta del Sol (Spanish for ‘Gate of the Sun’). For fifteen euro a head, you will be well fed - with tapas including plates of tortilla española, Jamón ibérico, chorizo and anchovies and watered, with jugs of sangria. It is usual to move from bar to bar when enjoying tapas, but if you find a place you love and get a good seat, you may as well stay until one in the morning or so, when you will be just in time to head to a nightclub - or for the locals and hardcore tourists, a salsa club. The best Sunday morning hangover cure in a word: churros. Chocolatería San Gines (not far from the Puerta del Sol), is the oldest churrerias in Madrid, having opened in 1894. For little more than three euro, you will get a generous portion of these deep fried batter/pastry revelations and a cup of rich, velvety chocolate sauce in which to dip them. After that, you will need a walk, and the Parque del Retiro is on your doorstep. If you were no Shakira on the dance floor the night before, you might have the energy to hire out a rowing boat in which you can row around the park’s artificial boating lake. Otherwise, there is nothing better to do than stroll around or lay on the grass until the warm sun sets.

travel OTWO

Rome, Italy From authentic Italian villages to the heart of the city’s capital, Ciara Andrews gives a rundown of what to expect from a Roman holiday

Photographer: Ciara Andrews

f you are planning a trip to Italy, staying outside the city of Rome is an excellent choice that gives tourists an opportunity to experience a more authentic way of Italian life. The charming village of Frascati is a perfect option. A mere thirty-minute train ride away from the centre of Rome, Frascati allows you to escape the busy city and spend some time in a peaceful, picturesque village. Although the language barrier may pose a problem for visitors not familiar with Italian, the people of Frascati never hold your inability to speak in their native tongue against you and do their best to understand and help visitors to the village. Frascati is also a wonderful place to take a quiet walk and try some real Italian coffee. There is at least one shop on every narrow street stocked with irresistible biscotti, and the sweet scent from the local bakeries is too good to resist. One spot in particular that is worth a visit is the Blues Wine Bar, situated less than five minutes from the train station. The bar gives visitors an opportunity to experience genuine Italian beer, wine and music. As much as Frascati is the perfect, relaxing location for a break away, the real fun begins when you venture into the centre of Rome. An informed tourist may think that they know what to expect, but nothing can prepare you for the city’s astonishing beauty. There is an exceptional landmark or beautiful architectural structure to be admired on every street. A trip to the Colosseum is a must for any visitor to Italy’s capital. It is definitely worth paying to take a look inside this incredible building and witness possibly the most fascinating aspect of Rome’s history and culture up close. The Trevi Fountain and Spanish Steps (138 in total) are also excellent spots to visit. The Vatican City is a highlight for anyone with an interest in art, particularly the Sistine Chapel, home to Michelangelo’s famous frescoes, and St. Peter’s Basilica, which houses the Pieta. Now for the really important stuff: the food. Does it live up to the hype? The food in Italy is nothing short of amazing, and is well-priced too. Traditional Italian cuisine can be found in ristoranti around the city, at great prices. Note that there are some particularly great eateries situated around the Colosseum. Trying some bona fide Italian gelato is also a real treat, and with it being sold on every street corner there is no excuse not to indulge in some of this delicious ice-cream. Tasting some fine Italian wine is also a must and as the Italians are daily wine drinkers, good value is the norm. Making your way around Rome on foot is to be recommended. Most of the great tourist spots are within walking distance of each other, and it gives an opportunity to experience the city in all its glory. There are plenty of museums scattered around the city begging to be explored, many of which offer free entry or discounts for students. Taking an evening stroll is also a great idea as the city looks spectacular when lit up at night. Spring is the perfect time to visit Rome, as the city often endures harsh winters, and the humid summers are packed with tourists. During these ideal few months, the weather is modest and as it is not peak season, you are likely to get a good bargain on reasonable accommodation. The city of Rome has something for everyone and will undoubtedly leave an impression on anyone lucky enough to witness it firsthand. 11

OTWO Games

REVIEWS Mass Effect 3

Asura’s Wrath

Mass Effect 3 is the final installment in Bioware’s epic sci-fi role-playing saga. You play as Commander Shepard, a veteran soldier tasked with travelling through the galaxy rallying other extraterrestrial races for assistance in saving the earth from the Reaper invasion, the Reapers being an alien race that wipe out all organic life in the galaxy every 50,000 years; no pressure. The game allows you to choose your experience, depending on how involved you want to be. You can pick the ‘traditional’ Mass Effect style and play through the game with the RPG elements intact, the more action orientated third-person shooter option, or you can choose story mode, which allows you take a backseat to the action of the game and explore the story in depth. The dense story coupled with customisable gameplay makes for an excellent combination. If you’re one who strives to complete every side quest and chase up every strand of storyline, the game will last you around thirty hours, otherwise expect to playing for around half of that. However, the whole experience is far from perfect. The dialogue has taken a dramatic step down from Mass Effect 2; exchanges between characters being often simply poorly written. The voice acting and lip syncing are pretty variable, and while vocal cast members such as Martin Sheen

Asura’s Wrath is a rather unique gaming experience. It combines epic mythology and space opera with gameplay mechanics from beat ‘em ups and rail shooters to create one of the most insane titles to be released in recent years. The premise of Asura’s Wrath is something akin to an Asian God of War. Drawing on Hindu, Buddhist and Shinto influences, the game’s story centres on a demi-god called Asura who is extremely angry, and quite rightly so. Asura is one of the eight demi-gods who have spent aeons trying to eradicate the demonic hordes of Gohma from the Earth, and the story begins as Asura succeeds in defeating their colossal leader, Vlitra. However, once the battle is over, Asura’s fellow demigods promptly betray him; murdering his wife, kidnapping his daughter and casting him down from the heavens. After spending 12,000 years in the underworld, Asura returns from the dead to exact brutal revenge on his former comrades. It may sound absurd, but the story is strangely compelling and is always kept firmly centre stage. The focus on narrative admittedly makes the game rather linear, but this linearity fits Asura’s Wrath surprisingly well. Rather than being given a vast world to wander at your leisure, Asura’s Wrath is delivered at an electric pace, in an episodic format

Title: Mass Effect 3 Publishers: Electronic Arts Developers: BioWare Platforms: PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Windows Release Date: Out Now 12

add a certain spark to the performances; overall, it is quite inconsistent. The gameplay is similarly varied. There are times when you are trying to make a particularly context sensitive movement and the game responds in a completely different way. Both enemy and ally AI is very patchy; you’ll often see both running in the completely wrong direction. The PS3 version also has some serious frame rate issues at times. One serious problem that could be an issue for newcomers to the Mass Effect series is that the game rarely explains game elements particularly intuitively. You’ll collect ‘War Assets’ through random conversations without ever really knowing what they are, unless you want to trawl through in-game documentation. Obviously, this is the final part of a trilogy, but the game makes little effort to explain the storyline in any meaningful way, which is a potentially serious frustration to new players. All criticism aside, there is a very solid game in Mass Effect 3. Most of the in-game issues are fairly forgivable. When it comes to a game of this scale, glitches are nearly to be expected. Without spoiling anything, the ending has been exceptionally divisive online, to the point where there is a large scale petition to try and get the developers to change it. If you’re a Mass Effect fan, you’ll love the journey, regardless of the ending, however if you haven’t played its predecessors, perhaps it might be an idea to try your hand at one of them first. by Conor O’Nolan

Title: Asura’s Wrath Publishers: Capcom Developers: CyberConnect2 Platforms: PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 Release Date: Out Now

hinging on a successive series of impressive set pieces interspersed with brawling and shooting. The fighting sections may not be as sophisticated as in other games but they are very accessible and enjoyable, with a straightforward control system consisting of regular, special and projectile attacks. As fights progress, Asura’s rage increases, he sprouts additional limbs and becomes ever more vicious until you fill up the game’s burst gauge to unleash devastating and visually stunning special attacks. The rail shooting sections are reminiscent of the N64 titles, Sin and Punishment and Lylat Wars, with Asura taking on vast space armadas singlehandedly (or more accurately, six-handedly). The key strength of Asura’s Wrath lies in how dazzling its set piece battles are. Featuring enemies larger than those seen in Shadow of the Colossus, and utilising over the top techniques, which should please fans of anime and manga such as Naruto, Fist of the North Star and Dragon Ball Z, there is no denying how truly epic the boss battles are in Asura’s Wrath. The battle against Augus on the surface of the moon is particularly incredible. The disappointing thing about Asura’s Wrath however, is that despite how enjoyable it is, it is over quite quickly. You’ll probably finish it in less than twelve hours, but on the plus side you get to punch a planet in the face, and who wouldn’t want to do that? by Steven Balbirnie

Games GamesOTWO OTWO

The secret to a good series

With the release of Mass Effect 3, Rory Crean looks into the dos and don’ts of gaming franchise development

cursory glance at the shelves of any billion dollar threshold. game retailer should make one trend So, why did Modern Warfare 3 sell so well? If very clear; every second game is a se- you banner Call of Duty across the box art, you’re quel, prequel, reboot, re-imagining or bound to become profitable very quickly, but if you re-release of another game, and it’s throw Modern Warfare on there as well, breaking not difficult to see why. The third instalment of the billion mark is like shooting fish in a barrel. Cliff Blezinski’s Gears of War franchise not only set And while reviews at the time were overwhelma record with 1.3 million pre-orders, but the trilogy ingly favourable toward MW3, Gamespot said that grossed over the one billion dollar mark for pub- it lacked lustre and IGN, only a few weeks later, flat lishers Microsoft. That kind of success, with that out stated that Activision need to change things dedicated a fan base would be enough to make the up to prevent the franchise from going stale. With most seasoned of game developers weep with joy such a mild critical backlash, it could easily be arand want to milk such a game for all it is worth. gued that the title’s dizzying success was attained The success of the Gears trilogy is owed to many through the clout possessed by the CoD franchise factors, one of which most likely has its roots in the and a sense of completism on the part of the franexclusivity of the title; Gears 1 was a huge game chise’s fan base rather than on the game’s own that was bundled with the Xbox 360 back in its in- merits. fancy, introducing many gamers to the gritty new Infinity Ward, the main team behind the Modworld of cover-based shooting at a mainstream ern Warfare series, could have produced a firstlevel. Innovative gameplay, beautiful visuals, and person shooter of any quality and initial sales a pinch of self-deprecating flippancy proved to be would still be through the roof. Granted, they a successful formula for the studio; one which they couldn’t pull the same trick twice, but their repuwould develop over the next five years to finish on tation was a bigger selling point that the millions an all-time high. Critically speaking, Gears 3 was they pumped into advertising. When a series, franthe pinnacle of the series, bringing the overarch- chise or studio becomes that big, the content can ing story to a conclusion and proving that a series, often be overlooked, when done right, can really take off. and developers know that. Just look at the As a counterpoint, consider the Call of Duty complete and utter failure of Duke Nukem Forever. franchise. Activision have been cranking out new Duke Nukem 3D, Forever’s most immediate predtitles with alarming regularity; capitalising on the ecessor, was well received; praised for its environcurrent frenzy. If you thought the Gears trilogy ment, innovation, gunplay and humour. Fifteen making a billion dollars was impressive, Modern years later, after battling through the developmenWarfare 3 pulled off such a feat all by itself in six- tal doldrums, 3D Realms (developers of the origiteen days. That’s quicker than Avatar, the highest nal) along with Gearbox, 2K and Triptych Games grossing film of all time, could; James Cameron’s released “one of the most disappointing games of 3-D epic took a sluggish nineteen days to reach the 2011.” This was a game that could have, in part,

helped dispel the somewhat boring trend in current first-person shooter games; drawing the focus away from gritty realism and reintroducing what formerly defined the series: fun. Not to say that games like Gears or Modern Warfare weren’t fun – they didn’t make billions for no reason – but they lacked the juvenile flair that was once at the heart of all shooters. Perhaps the hype, anticipation, and unrealistic expectations of fans who were drunk on nostalgia were just too much for any game to fulfill. Or maybe it was just a dreadful game that didn’t change with the times. It’s most likely the latter, yet the game was later revealed to have been profitable for the developers. Duke Nukem could have heralded a new trend in gaming all by his obnoxious self, but instead the franchise fell victim to continued obsolescence, and in a panic, the developers focused too heavily upon the technical aspects of the game’s design rather than adjusting the content, humour, and gameplay. As a result, they created a game that was both stale and out of date, and unpalatable for a contemporary audience. Unless Infinity Ward decides to make a reboot of the game, it is unlikely that we’ll be hearing from Duke or witnessing any of his alien-stomping escapades any time soon. The success of series and franchises such as Uncharted, Gears of War, and most recently, Mass Effect lies in their ability to grow and adapt with their audience, whilst never sacrificing the elements that garnered them their original fan base. As Duke Nukem proved, doing the same thing over again simply won’t slide in today’s market, unless you’re part of the right franchise. Series do so well because, unlike film, gaming is an interactive medium. If you have a well fleshedout gameplay mechanic that people enjoy, why not use it again? Every studio will produce a dud every now and then; that’s part of the process, but taking a mechanic, adding a new coat of paint, some fancy graphics and the odd set piece here and there will not be enough to keep fans interested while you run the series into the ground. 13

OTWO

How can a seventy-year-old head of state inspire a crowd of students, and why would they take any interest in what he has to tell them? As President Michael D. Higgins visits UCD, Kate Rothwell finds out why he was one of the most anticipated guests of the year

apturous applause greets a small, bespectacled, elderly man as he enters the Newman Building’s Theatre L. This man is not a film star or sportsman, and although he does enjoy the accolade of being an acclaimed poet, it is not for his collections of verse that the Law Society and student populous of UCD is bestowing upon him such a genuine and hearty welcome. The cheerful figure that steps forward to speak both warmly and emphatically, his gesticulations and a surprisingly booming voice emphasising his obvious passion and a lilting western accent accentuating his charm, is President Michael Daniel Higgins, the ninth and current President of Ireland. The seventy-year-old comes across as more sprightly than senior, but is quick to make a quip indicating both his age and his own memories of university. “It’s forty-seven years since I was auditor of a debating society myself, so you must excuse me if I occasionally am forgetful.” Yet this lengthy absence from such a society has anything but dulled his speaking skills, and the first topic he tackles is in fact that of youth. Making what he calls “a humble admission”, Higgins states that, “There are very few people I know who would like to be old, but there are very many older

UCD President Hugh Brady was in attendence at the event 14

people who would like to be young,” and speaks of the common desire of those past their youth to have “time and energy, to be able to ask all the questions again, to be able to pose all the discourses in a new way.” Whatever about time, Higgins displays an infectious energy that outstrips even that of the packed lecture theatre of admiring youthful spectators, whose approving peals of laughter reverberate around the room whenever he tells a humorous anecdote, such as his reference to discussing his speech with the “First Dog” while walking in Phoenix Park, or when he makes a particularly shrewd comment. Higgins’ success as a poet adds an extra level of cultural intrigue to his persona, and it is a little disappointing, while understandable, to hear the President state that he will not be publishing any poetry during his seven-year term, but he does indicate that he will, to some extent, continue to compose. “I am writing the occasional note to myself. I won’t be publishing while I’m President, but the existing books are doing very well.” A similar touch of wry humour is present in the reserved initial response to a question on his opinion of the current government. “Well, I can recognise the poisonous possibilities of the question.” This is swiftly followed by a polite statement saying that he does not comment on issues of government. He then decides to tackle the question’s reference to him as a ‘former politician’, a concept which he goes on portray as an impossibility. “It would be one of the most inauthentic things to do, philosophically and immorally for me, to invent a bogus persona that was post-political.” It is easy to imagine that Higgins has well-formed personal opinions, which he knows better while in a largely apolitical representative role than to reveal. He refers to the constitution as a reason why he “can’t talk about certain issues that are current at times,” but goes on to remind us that his powers of observation will still be at work; “That doesn’t mean that I’m not in a reflective silence.” Higgins understands the importance of professional impartiality in his presidential role, and this air of mystery no doubt means that any eventual post-term poetry will be read with heightened interest by those to get an insight into both the man himself and the life of a President. Having begun by saying that he wants his presidency to be one of

ideas, Higgins goes on to expand on a range of concepts that he values greatly within society. He appreciates creativity not only in the traditional artistic sense but also “in the sense of achieving excellence in everything,” and describes Irishness as involving “issues of imagination, in relation to Irishness not in an isolated sense, but Irishness in a sense incorporating being European, being global, being responsible.” Responsibility is also an issue that Higgins does not take lightly, and he explains the contemporary Irish understanding of ethics as being linked to a debilitating national spiritual crisis. Yet he perceives a new, positive spirituality that is something more self-reliant than its predecessor. “It is my belief that one of the greatest challenges that has faced recent generations has been the emptying of life of ethics, the emptying of life as, for example, the source of inspiration became some kind of control exercise to fear, and dogmatic assertion within religion destroyed spirituality to a point. Our trust was lost, for example in institutions, but I want to say to you that it is a time for the spirit again. We are embodied spirits as much as anything else, but that spiritual strength and solace lies partly within people themselves.” Higgins obviously has a clear sense of his own interpretation of morality, as he refers to the profound

effect that scenes of horrific injustice should, and indeed must, have on our ethical sensibility. “I dealt with it in some of my books - about going, for example, as I have often done, into human rights situations where I’ve seen dead bodies and you’re taking the plane home again … Unless you allow your life to be changed by what it is you are witnessing and unless you allow it to inform your ethical sense it has been a waste of time.” The very thoughts that led him to come to this conclusion are subject to another philosophical idea that the President supports; that is the separation of thinking from reasoning. “Thinking involves more than narrow reasoning in a measurable calculable way. Thinking involves something of imagination, intuition; it involves inspiration in that sense. It is that when you allow yourself then to live fully alive, abandoning fear.” This perfect existence is not the only ideal that Higgins presents, as he also describes a “serious university” as “one that is allowing all the sources of knowledge and wonderment to enter into the formation of students. That’s what important … the exciting people, the genuinely original people, the innovative people are people who are able to draw the sources of knowledge and wonderment together.” The septuagenarian also com-

OTWO

Photographer: David Nowak ments on the changing perception of these “innovative people” who dare to present new ideas in their own lifetime by their own peers and then by the generation that follows them. “When you look at the history of a university, in culture or the sciences, you notice something very interesting. The really interesting discoveries in the sciences for example, have sometimes come from people regarded in their time as nuts, but after they were established as right they were then immediately regarded as geniuses, and then they become invoked by the universities that might have once regarded them as eccentric.” Higgins is too dignified a character to be classified as in any way eccentric, but he still defies the traditional stereotype of a senior citizen. He urges young people to strive for excellence and new ideas, regardless of any discouraging reception of their efforts, and assures them that they will “have the extraordinary opportunity of putting your ideas into practice and changing the world in your own way.” This is an opportunity that Higgins clearly saw and continues to see as too precious to let slip by. He speaks with great enthusiasm and excitement about his planned presidential seminars, where the topics of youth and ethics are set to return as central themes. So does this speaking at length about philosophical ideas confirm the notion that the Presidential office is essentially a ceremonial role? It might, if it wasn’t for Higgins successfully combating this notion before it is even broached. “In order not to be a victim of the accusation that I was dealing with things in the abstract, I have at the moment been fulfilling an enormous number of obligations, just not obligations but things I wanted to do … I’ve been to prisons, mental hospitals, I’ve been in different cities … I’m trying to privilege, as it were, that community side of things.” Here he again touched on an existential crisis faced by the general public, but summons an image of this resulting in a stronger, more positive community to the fore. “But the good news of it all is that, like I have said, the public are not cynical. The public have taken an enormous beating in the disappointment that they feel and the anger, justifiably, that they feel in those in whom they placed trust. But they are full of hope at the same time; I discern it everywhere.” Higgins expresses in a modest, self-deprecating manner the difficulty he faces in having to “just go out and be inspirational”, and reminds us that inspiration is something that cannot be attained from someone else, “You have to find it in yourself.” “It is a time for inspiration,” he says. Yes President, indeed it is.

Presenting President Michael D. Higgins 15

OTWO film

REVIEWS Title: The Hunger Games Director: Gary Ross Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Liam Hemsworth Release Date: Out Now

t would be rather cynical to write The Hunger Games off as some unholy bastardisation of Battle Royale and Twilight, and while one can see why such a connection is being made, director Gary Moss and his cast, led by Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone, X-Men: First Class), have created something far more enriching than such a label would suggest. The Hunger Games is set in the post-apocalyptic land of Panem and begins with Katniss Everdeen (Lawrence) offering to enter the Hunger Games in place of her beloved sister, Primrose. The Games are an annual competition in which twenty-four adolescents representing the twelve districts of Panem must fight to the death, inspiring obedience to the nation’s oppressive government among the citizenry; the film then follows Katniss and her fellow ‘tributes’ as they train and battle in the Games. As the first film adaptation from

The Hunger Games Suzanne Collins’ trilogy of young adult novels, Games has to carry a lot of expositionary weight in its 142 minute running time, but rarely does it get bogged down in its plotting. If anything, one can too clearly see where cuts and changes have been made to make it a suitable fit for the silver screen. Characters and subplots are regularly left undercooked, and potential emotional moments are left wanting as a result, while the fledgling relationship between Katniss and fellow ‘tribute’ Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) is played up to generic standards and threatens to topple the entire film at points.

Ross is able to ground this fantasy world of garish aesthetic and socioeconomic extremes with some resemblance to contemporary times, and the film is generally a visual delight, however, its numerous action scenes are framed somewhat poorly by contemporary standards. The sheer omnipresence of Katniss can be held partly responsible for the film’s shortcomings, but Lawrence more than makes up for this with a powerhouse performance worthy of the adulation she has garnered since her Oscar nomination for Winter’s Bone. While many other

Title: The Island President Director: Jon Senk Starring: Mohamed Nasheed Release Date: March 30th; exclusively at the Lighthouse and on Volta.ie

he Island President is a documentary film following former leader of the Republic of Maldives, Mohamed Nasheed, in his struggle to combat climate change, primarily in the Copenhagen Fifteen meetings of 2009, in order to save his country from being engulfed by the sea. Although the most interesting aspect of the story is the overthrowing of the former president/dictator Gayoom, The Island President is not here to satisfy your sensationalist tastes; it is here to pique your curiosity and raise your awareness as to what goes on behind the closed doors at these bureaucratic conventions. Stylistically, director Shenk has forgone the gonzo style of journalism that has been popularized by documentarians like Louis Theroux or Michael Moore in recent years, electing instead to remain permanently out of frame. This decision was most likely based on the fact that his awards and accolades are for his cinematography seascape. The inclusion of a Radiohead soundand not his presence in an interview. track, including songs like ‘How to Disappear Accordingly, the film is visually, and aurally, Completely’ reminds the audience of the fragilstunning. Shenk is at home behind the lens, and ity of our situation and how important climate it shows. The Maldives provide a beautiful con- change is for our generation. trast between clear blue seas ebbing at paradiseEveryone loves a good underdog story, even like shores and the more gaudy looking, commer- more so when it has its grounding in actualcialised islands like Malé. Shenk really hammers ity. However, when you see an underdog story home the age of oppression that once ruled the through first-hand footage, you often end up with islands with simplistic shots - a shining example something spectacular on your hands. Nasheed is being the juxtaposition of a corrugated iron tor- charismatic, instantly likeable and strong-willed. ture shed set against the backdrop of a beautiful He pesters the larger, bullying nations much like

characters are left as shadows and convenient archetypes, Katniss appears fully formed, and though there are times when the audience is merely told of how strong and independent she is, Lawrence is more than up to the task when asked to prove it; she imbues Katniss with equal measures of ferocity and vulnerability in what is truly a star-making turn. In a Nutshell: A flawed yet commendable blockbuster, anchored by a staggering lead performance. by George Morahan

The Island President

a stubborn pup gnaws on the ankle of its master. However, in light of recent events (a coup d’etat by forces still loyal to Gayoom), the resignation of Nasheed makes this film less of a powerful statement of what one man can do, and more a post mortem of a dying, impotent political agreement. In a Nutshell: Lulls at times, but is ultimately a pensive piece worthy of your time, if only to reignite the awareness Nasheed worked so hard to achieve. by Jack Walsh

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film OTWO

Dystopias

What if the movies were right about where our society is headed? Dermot O’Rourke looks at the best the alternative futures have to offer 10. Children of Men (2006) A chaotic Orwellian society in which the oppressive British government of 2027 has imposed very harsh immigration laws and everyone is generally a bit upset because they are all infertile and obviously no one is getting any because of it.

This Is Not A Film

his Is Not A Film is a documentary about Iranian filmmaker Jafar Panahi, who was placed under house arrest to await the verdict of an appeal against a six-year prison sentence and a twenty-year ban on filmmaking. Fearing this to be the end of his artistic career, Panahi, with the help of his friend Mojitaba Mirtahmasb, attempt to document his incarceration as well as the film he had hoped to make before the verdict is reached. Filmed using a camera that was smuggled in and even partially shot on an iPhone, This Is Not A Film is in many ways what the title might suggest. It is a portrait of beautifully cobbled together segments of Panahi’s home life and the frustration of a repressed artist. The film, while quite harrowing at times, strikes a perfect balance between lightheartedness and the much darker stresses of creative imprisonment. It achieves this masterfully, creating a production that is thought-provoking, rebellious and documents a sadly contemporary threat to free speech in Iran, while also highlighting the persistence and resilience of the creative soul and human voice. Panahi himself is, for the most part, the only character that appears onscreen, and captures the audience’s attention effortlessly with his passion, defiance and amiability. The audience believes that film is the language he speaks and his ob-

Title: This Is Not A Film Director: Mojtaba Mirtahmasb, Jafar Panahi Starring: Jafar Panahi Release Date: March 30th sessive need to film and document even the most trivial events in his life proves this, while still remaining compelling. We can see his passion for the project constantly waver as he wishes to have his last howl of disobedience and pass on the film he wishes to make. We also share in his despair at not being able to see his message in the way he wants. The film examines the spirit and soul of film, and the mind and life of its creator, who even tries to make sense of his ‘performance’ in the documentary to form something as real and moving as he possibly can. It is a love letter to the medium of film, a protest to the forces of oppression, and a piece that while also being about censorship, manages to examine the creative process and even the unpredictability of coincidence while reflecting on the random events which go into creating a film. It becomes something extraordinary despite its limitations and confines. In a Nutshell: It’s hard to fault a film that was partially shot on an iPhone while imprisoned in a house and smuggled out to its public in a cake. by Gareth Lyons

Clive Owen in Children of Men

9. Wall-E (2008) While humans have become morbidly obese homogenous blobs confined to floaty chairs all on a larger floaty shopping centre, Earth has descended into a literal landfill and Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth Class and his best friend cockroach has been left to clean up. 8. The Terminator (1984) It’s 2029, and it is the human race versus seemingly indestructible Arnold Schwarzenegger cyborg clones. That stint as Governor of California obviously didn’t do much for his sense of diplomacy. 7. The Matrix (1999) It’s 2199 and humans are being used as a source of renewable energy for sentient machines dominating a very stormy Earth. However, if Keanu Reeves is the saviour of mankind, then it might be preferable to stay plugged into the Matrix and support the machines’ effort. 6. Brazil (1985) Set ‘somewhere in the twentieth century’ Brazil presents a completely crackers bureaucratic dystopia that could have only streamed from the mind of ex-Python Terry Gilliam. 5. Idiocracy (2006) Idiocracy satirically presents a decaying consumerist society controlled, in effect, by an energy drinks company, in which the clothes are disposable, Terry Crews is the US President, and Luke Wilson is the smartest man on the planet. Needless to say it’s not an advanced society. 4. V for Vendetta (2005) Another George “I bloody told you it would be like this” Orwell civilisation of the near future, but what is specifically harrowing about this dystopia is that it is ruled by John Hurt and they throw people like Stephen Fry in jail. 3. Planet of the Apes (1968) Set on a very sandy planet that most definitely isn’t Earth (it is), evolution has taken a serious left turn, and now chimpanzees are scientists but humans have been demoted to vermin, and now have no linguistic skills at all, apparently. 2. Blade Runner (1982) A film with so many versions that it seems everybody involved in the production and their cat had a go editing it. What does remain constant in Blade Runner’s dank LA is that there are no real animals, it is perpetually night time, and there are genetically engineered killing machines running about. 1. Metropolis (1927) There is no joke to see here, Fritz Lang’s film is a masterpiece and his German expressionist urban landscape is the aesthetic from which most (if not all) subsequent dystopian films have drawn. Go watch it. 17

OTWO film

With the totally irrelevant upcoming re-release of Titanic in 3-D, Dermot O’Rourke looks at current status of 3-D in modern cinema and explains why it won’t be around for too much longer

roclaiming some sort of technology as a ‘fad’ is often a dangerous game. The whole thing tends to come back to you and smear egg on your face. Take the case of Ken Olsen, founder of the now defunct computer manufacturer Digital Equipment, who brushed aside the notion of Personal Computers, to his detriment, because of his naive belief that, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” In the world of movies it was Henry Warner of Warner Brothers who brushed aside the innovation of sound for dialogue in his pictures when he rhetorically asked, “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” Everybody did, it seems, as Warner soon found out, when the “talkies” quickly forced out silent films at the end of the 1920s. Although these are cautionary tales for people who casually dismiss new technologies, it has been apparent in recent times that 3-D in modern cinema is now in deep decline since its explosive reintroduction into theatres in 2009 with James Cameron’s megahit Avatar. Since Avatar, and a few films in its immediate wake such as Alice in Wonderland, capitalised on the spectacle of 3-D, sufficient time has passed and it seems now that the gloss has very much worn thin. Despite a record forty-seven films released in 3-D in 2011, the average takings were almost half of those in 2010, when there were only twenty-eight 3-D films released. More significant than that is for huge blockbusters in 2011, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the majority of movie-goers ditched 3-D and actually opted to view the films in 2-D. Even Hugo, directed by Martin Scorsese, which was critically acclaimed and picked up a host of awards, underperformed at the box office, having only barely broken even. This is similar to the early days of cinema itself, 18

Taking Taking your your brain brain to to another another dimension dimension when audiences were initially mesmerised by the technology of moving images but soon became tired of pure exhibition and required artistic innovation to tell stories with the images to keep them engaged with the technology. It may be surprising to hear but 3-D is not a new innovation in cinema at all. In the early days of cinema there were experiments with stereoscopy, but the first real drive for the introduction of 3-D into theatres by Hollywood was in the 1950s. In fact, there are distinct parallels between 3-D in the 1950s and the current generation of 3-D. In the 1950s, 3-D was introduced by Hollywood studios as an “immersive” theatrical experience in order to compete with a change in the public’s viewing practices, that were threatening box office revenues. Does this seem familiar? In the 1950s there was the advent of television becoming part of the furniture and offering people the cinema experience in the comfort of their own home, while nowadays the primary threats to Hollywood seem to be digital distribution and

piracy, as well as a golden age of TV dramas. So, why has this generation of 3-D failed to maintain the public’s enthusiasm? On a technical level, not only is there significant light loss in the image but there is a problem that lies on the fundamental human anatomic level that no amount of technical wizardry can fix. In a letter to the film critic Roger Ebert, renowned editor in modern cinema, Walter Murch (sound editor for Apocalypse Now and Oscar-winning editor for The English Patient), explained that this is a “convergent/focus” problem with humans. Normally, when a person focuses on an object their eyes also converge at the distance the object is at. However, 3-D films require us to focus at one distance and to converge on another, which means our brains have to work very hard to overcome this optical trick and it is something “that 600 million years of evolution never prepared [humans] for.” However, the primary reason that 3-D has not worked out is that the motivation for its incorporation

into films has been financial, as it was in the 1950’s, and not artistically driven. This is particularly evident in films that were originally shot in 2-D and retrofitted for 3-D afterward in post-production, thus appearing to be an afterthought instead of being an integral part of the creative process. Even films that were shot in 3-D often crowbar in a demonstration of the 3-D technology, often of no consequence to the narrative, simply to justify it to the customers forking out for the dearer movie ticket and glasses. Advocates of 3-D often cite the turbulent introduction of colour to replace black and white as a step for cinema toward actuality, and say 3-D is the next logical step, but this an unfair comparison. Colour transcends matching reality and provides an artistic dimension. It is used, for example, as a leitmotif by filmmakers to symbolize and convey meaning or establish a tone for a film and this is, ultimately, the crucial characteristic that current 3-D cannot provide. This is certainly not the end of 3-D in cinema. Hollywood has invested heavily in the technology and it will most probably reappear in theatres under a new guise in the future - possibly in a more holographic form. Akin to the 1950s generation of 3-D effectively being killed off by the introduction of Cinemascope’s widescreen system, it appears that IMAX is the real future for 2-D and for cinema. What this generation of 3-D has shown is that movie-goers do not require gimmicks like 3-D to be immersed and what is really demanded are well-crafted stories; something to which Walter Murch would very much attest, “A good story will give you more dimensionality than you can ever cope with.”

television OTWO

Fatal Fourway

Best TV Family We’re bringing it all back home this week as our favourite TV families get the once over

The Bluth Family

The Gilmores

The Landry/Campbells

The Simpsons

Dermot O’Rourke

Aoife Valentine

Jon Hozier-Byrne

George Morahan

“And now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them together.” It is quite difficult to pinpoint one aspect or person of Arrested Development’s Bluth family that makes them not only the most dysfunctional onscreen family, but also undoubtedly the best. For the majority of TV families there is always one family member who is the “best one” or the “funniest one” that anchors the show and from whom almost all the jokes or storylines emanate. For shows like The Simpsons and Sister Sister, it’s easy but for Arrested Development it’s different. While none of the family is ‘likeable’ in the traditional sense, each individual member shines when it comes to comedy and are hilarious in their own right. From G.O.B to Tobias, each one has their own idiosyncrasies that make every line of the show quotable. However, it is things like each Bluth having their own version of the mocking chicken dance or the clever little intrafamily subtle jokes peppered throughout that makes the Bluth family a cut above. So, get on to Facebook and “Save Our Bluths!”

So while you all may have said that Snape was a terrible choice, having decided to choose his roles in more eh, credible films which aren’t about magic and awesomeness, you were all wrong. You may have made fun of my choices consistently for being less cultured than yours, but a Harry Potter reference in an online poll? Let’s not pretend any of you ever even stood a chance. Also, Snape is very awesome anyway. Awesome in a less magic way however, is Gilmore Girls. Sure there’s no Hogwarts, but then again, there’s no family or TV in Hogwarts anyway, so Gilmore Girls was the next best thing. Very much like the comfort food of television, it’s cute, homey, and even Stars Hollow has a quirky charm that makes you want to live there a little bit. More than that though, Lorelai is the greatest mom, even if she speaks ridiculously fast and spouts random pop cultural information bytes at truly inopportune moments, and you know her and Luke are meant to be, even if that’s not what the script is saying in alternate seasons. Why even mention Rory? Her pretty little optimistic face says it all. Whatever, Sister, Sister. No one cares about Roger.

The Simpsons are the clichéd nuclear family, indeed, they originated as a satire of the patriarchal family present in American sitcoms since networks began. Even Homer’s job is a play on the nuclear family trope. The Bluths, although disfunctional, follow the same basic family structure. I am a man, and have therefore never watched Gilmore Girls, but I assume that it is equally dull. The Landry/Campbells however, now there is an interesting family. Tia and Tamara, identical twins seperated at birth, are adopted by the straight-laced Ray Campbell and wild seamstress Lisa Landry respectively. After a chance meeting in a clothing store, the girls Parent Trap their respective guardians into moving in together, and with that, the keystone of our childhood television staples was born. The Landry/Campbells, or Lambells, are a socio-economic cross section as viewed through the optics of two teenage girls, who happen to be able to stop time when the narrative calls for it. And it had Lisa Landry, possibly the greatest comic character since Charlie Chaplin played Buster Keaton while wearing Groucho glasses. Oh Sister, Sister. I never knew how much I missed you. And now everbody knows, I ain’t ever gonna let you go. Sister, Sister.

The Simpsons have been around longer than most of you reading this; they have probably helped to shape your views on religion, politics, culture, and miniature flags, and may have had some hand in preparing you for life in the contemporary western world. This should not be the case. They are fictional; they are not your real family. However, television and The Simpsons go hand in hand, and therefore a generation supposedly raised by television has been practically raised by the Simpsons. The Simpsons care about you, you see. The Simpsons are television’s best family because of their influence on many of our lives. I’m sure a lot of you have a Homer quote at the ready for trying times, or believe your respective mothers to have mastered the ‘Marge Simpson Disapproving Grumble’ – their presence is undeniable, which should be kind of scary when you think about it, but knowing they’re still around after twenty-two years is somewhat reassuring. Like all real people, the Simpsons have gotten worse with age, but that should not sway you from voting for them; there’s life in them yet. They’re not as venal as the Bluths; they don’t talk as fast as the Gilmore Girls; they don’t have annoying names like Tia or Tamara, and they are by no means perfect, but that doesn’t stop them from being the Best. Family. Ever.

in Arrested Development

in Gilmore Girls

in Sister, Sister

in The Simpsons

Go on the University Observer Facebook page and have your say; who are the best TV family?

OTWO Music

It’s a magic number

his interview was never destined to be particularly easy. Gathered around a speakerphone are David Jude Jolicoeur, one third of Long Island rap trio De la Soul, and 2&4, the French collaborators involved on the latest record. About David Jude Jolicoeur: we refer to him in this way as he was christened so. He has, however, throughout the group’s numerous records, accrued monikers such as ‘Trugoy the Dove’ ,‘Plug 2’ and, most mystifyingly, ‘Dave’, a practice that he describes in his cavernous rumble of a voice as “a tradition, a culture among MCs, stretching as far as Afrika Bambaataa and Cold Crush.” For their latest effort, Jolicoeur and his De la Soul comrade Kevin Mercer (a.k.a Posdnuos) are recording under their Plug 1 and Plug 2 aliases as First Serve, on an album that Jolicoeur explains as following the careers of Pop and Deen, two fictional rappers who begin composing in a basement, generate attention and eventually “make it big”. The group eschewed their usual lengthy development times for a feverish threeand-a half week burst with local collaborators 2&4. The Parisian producers insisted on recording live musicians, hoping to impart some “French Coast” principles to the other two, or so they chortle. “It feels good, 2&4 are a pleasure to work with,” Jolicoeur insists; “it feels soulful, it feels classic.” ‘Classic’ is certainly more achievable an outcome when your own catalogue comprises much of what is termed as such. De la Soul are best remembered for their debut album, 3 Feet High and Rising, a part of the ‘golden era’ of hip hop, and sagely credited by those hipper than you as being a masterpiece that expanded the genre’s vocabulary. Acts like Camp Lo, Biggie Smalls, Kanye West, even the bloody Black Eyed Peas owe something to its jazzy, melodic approach, and it was declared album of the year by NME in 1989, beating more customary choices such as the Stone Roses’ debut and Pixies’ Doolittle. In more recent years, they featured on Gorillaz’s ‘Feel Good Inc.’, earning a Grammy for their troubles.

(l-r) Kelvin Mercer aka Posdnous , David Jude Jolicoeur aka Dave and Vincent Mason aka Maseo

De la Soul’s David Jude Jolicoeur gives Stephen Connolly the lowdown on pseudonyms, humour in hip-hop, and what it’s like to be on UCD’s curriculum Another crucial innovation of their output has been levity, a commodity frequently missing in rap, in both their lyrics and the short skits between songs on the majority of their albums. “I wouldn’t say humour is incredibly important,” Jolicoeur argues, “it’s just refreshing to hear something different. Even guys as street as Cam’ron in the Diplomats and Wu-Tang Clan can add some comedy. Maybe a group as amazing as Public Enemy may not have worked so well without the comic relief of Flavor Flav.” One mustn’t forget that De la Soul came to prominence during the surge of gangsta rap in the late 1980s, and promoting ‘peace and love’ concepts such as the ‘D.A.I.S.Y Age’ (Da Inner Sound, Y’all) coupled with their (relative) aversion to profanity made them quite the alternative act. What does Jolicoeur make of the vein of aggression in rap that continues today in acts like Odd Future and Gucci Mane? “I don’t think it’s a problem at all; you have to honour all aspects of rap. It just wouldn’t be right if you didn’t get angry! What’s important is whether you support nonsense or something better.” Of the oft-publicised ‘beefs’ between rappers that consume infinite column inches and vinyl grooves, Jolicoeur’s outlook is equally liberal: “I guess they can be a real issue or they can be a PR stunt too. It can certainly be something where guys realise it can help their careers and get involved for that reason, but other people can see that. Collaborations and promotion can weaken the whole thing a bit, but it’s become a game; everyone’s out to get a bigger cheque. If you want to be a part of this entity you have to accept that there are people out there to get money.”

Inevitably, whether you deem the practice ludicrous or otherwise, De la Soul’s music is intellectualised to a severe degree. Here at our own three-legged stool of learning, a module called ‘Popular Music and Culture’ analyses their contribution to rap culture, even assigning essays specifically based on the group. Otwo asked Jolicoeur how they felt about this – is this scrutiny a burden when composing? “Not at all, we just love trying to put together great music, we just hope that people make it part of their lives. That’s all it is.” Past and present both languidly commented on, we move onto the future. Jolicoeur speaks of a desire for touring the album, and potential follow-ups. “People can see from the album that the story doesn’t [end]. We hope that people will like to see how we put rhymes to the rest of the story – this is only the beginning.” Such statements, and references to a ‘fresh start’, cropped up repeatedly in our interview. It becomes evident that this project is perhaps a reaction to years of being tethered to a legacy, encumbered by others’ lazy expectations of their output. We put one final question to Dave: are such measures as adopting the image of a duo just starting out in a parent’s basement in Queens, the choice of location, enlisting of new producers and blitzkrieg-quick gestation all efforts to sidestep the momentum of the past, and shrug off the weight of tradition placed on your shoulders by your commentators of over twenty years? “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, bro.” Fair enough. De la Soul’s Plug 1 and Plug 2 present First Serve is out on March 30th.

Music OTWO

The Great Annihilator Swans veteran and No Wave legend Michael Gira talks to Cormac Duffy about the blues, nostalgia and Karen O

ith an acoustic tour to promote an album of home recordings on the immediate horizon, Michael Gira offers a fittingly odd summation of the experience. “Performing by yourself solo is a bit like being a fly about to be crushed by a hammer on an anvil.” As the frontman for the beloved Swans (and sole consistent member since their inception) and Angels of Light, he does not contrast performing with a band to the solo experience in his own mind. “It’s a very intense experience for myself and the audience, I think.” He adds that it has the intensity of blues music, without the shared musical traits. “There’s something about the sexuality of the rhythm and the joy of [blues music] I really connect with.” Having reformed in 2010, Swans are set to follow up their masterful comeback album My Father Will Guide Me up a Rope to the Sky with a new record, The Seer, clocking in at a whopping two hours over two CDs or three LP records. “It doesn’t have a concept to it, except that it’s a long film. Songs bleed into each other and there are a lot of dynamics and cross references.” Gira is keen to emphasise that it will be experienced as a full work rather than a set of songs. In other interviews, Gira has commented on a six-month studio stint that has left him in the throes of exhaustion. When asked if he feels it has paid off in the album’s outcome, he points out that he sees it as an unending process. “The song never really ends,” he believes, seeing it as something that is reinterpreted not only en route from his acoustic guitar to the final mix, but in each and every live performance. Musically, Gira promises a mix of old and new; “It has a lot of the sonic intensity Swans are known for, but also some pastoral moments. It’s probably the most varied thing I’ve done as a producer.” What is most exciting about the prospect of The Seer is its promise of a formidable range of guests. Fans of Swans will be more than a little intrigued by Gira’s revelation that the record will feature vocals from Jarboe, Swans’ only other long-term member in their first life. Despite the original band’s breakup, and her lack of involvement in the revived group, the two have stayed in touch on and

off. “I saw her recently in Atlanta, and that put the seed in my mind to think about it. I just emailed her and we did it.” Did recording with an old partner carry any of the familiarity one would expect it to? “No,” he says with a laugh. “Her voice is a great resource and I just wanted to utilise it, so I did” he says, pinning it all on a want for a good record. “I’m not at all nostalgic.” Other collaborators include Yeah Yeah Yeahs front-vixen Karen O, and everyone’s favourite married Mormon slowcore pioneers, Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker from Low. “I heard Karen singing a song, a really beautiful rendition of Willie Nelson’s ‘Mama Don’t Let your Boys Grow Up to Be Cowboys’,” he explains. “I thought her voice was so incredibly touching on it that I immediately wrote this song for her to sing.” The track is to be one of the record’s quieter moments, in Gira’s own words; it is “sort of like a country ballad.” As for Low, the two acts have a long standing connection. “They played with Swans on a tour in, I guess, ’97 or something and I’ve always admired them tremendously,” he says, describing their work as “intensely spiritual and beautiful American music.”

“There’s something about the sexuality of the rhythm and the joy of [blues music] I really connect with.” On that note we enquire into the spirituality many listeners often find in Swans’ ethereal music. “The spirituality that I find in Swans, particularly live, is when the sound is overwhelming and all-consuming. It really is like reaching into something greater than yourself.” With that said, Gira follows no spiritual tradition or religious practice. “Except for my music” he adds as an amendment. From 1983’s pummelling Filth to 1996’s expansive Soundtracks for the Blind, Swans set an inspiring template for bands to follow, as they fearlessly experimented, drawing in formerly disparate genres such as No Wave and ambient music to leave a huge influence on alternative rock, metal, industrial and almost any other style you could care to name. To Gira, it’s about the forward march. “I don’t see any reason to make music unless you continually challenge yourself and your audience; otherwise, it’s just like going to the bank to work or something.” As a record label owner and artist, Gira has been no stranger to

the financial woes of making music your day job. Despite introducing the world to acts such as psychfolk heartthrob Devendra Banhart and Akron/Family (who appear on The Seer), an ebbing industry has left Gira unable to release music by anyone but himself and his projects. He still speaks highly of his time with the label’s roster, happy to reveal that “most of the people I’ve worked with on the

label have stayed friends. It was an honour with Young God to be able to work with really talented people and it taught me a lot.” Music is still his day job however, despite the challenges he faces. “I’m very resourceful and I work all the time, so I manage to survive somehow. Obviously, I don’t make pop music, so it makes it more difficult. I don’t have any choice, because this is what I do, I have no other skills.” 21

OTWO Music

The Emperor’s New Groove

ed by Alana Watson), have been keen to separate themselves from a sound that that can be rigidly defined yet also mean nothing at all. Latest single ‘Must be the Feeling’ is proof of this, according to Stephens; “‘Must be the Feeling’ is very disco-house and is very influenced by our love of the eighties disco movement and French house – that video goes up, and people think it’s still dubstep; it’s a pointless word now.” ‘Must be the Feeling’ is, staggeringly enough, the seventh single from Nero’s debut album, Welcome Reality, which scaled the heights of the UK charts last August. The album had been in the works since 2008, and Nero have audibly evolved, from the moody euphoria of first single ‘Innocence’ to the rushing sentimentality of chart-topper ‘Promises’, over that period. “Our music is

London dance titans Nero took time out to talk with George Morahan about Nando’s, femininity and what they get up to in the bedroom

still bass-driven, but it’s different to that American sound. We’ve always tried to focus on melody more and the bass is just a traditional provider of the root note rather than the thing that carries the melody all the time,” according to Stephens, but Ray believes that time played a great part in causing the disparity of sounds that defines Welcome Reality; “It was a long time, because the debut album is always the one that takes ages, and after that, you’ve got to get them out within a year or two of each other. If you kept writing the same tune over and over again, you’d kill yourself with boredom, so it naturally happened like that.” As we talk in their hotel room pre-gig, the group seem at ease, squabbling over what to order from Nando’s and generally enjoying the luxuries that their accomplishments have afforded them. It’s hard to begrudge them their success, but it’s also a bit difficult to believe that they didn’t see this coming. “The success of the singles off Welcome Reality came as a total shock; ‘Me & You’: that was a real shock when that got to number fifteen in the charts,” says Stephens. “I don’t think it ever really sinks in; you don’t really think about, and that’s probably best – we don’t want anything like that to influence future music productions.” One can certainly see why the group have become successful and why they are found to be a palatable concern amongst

tonight’s audience – beer-spitting troglodytes who quickly and aggressively realise that they’ve all worn too many layers to the gig. There’s definitely a pop sensibility in Nero’s music that has only been bolstered with the addition of Watsons’ vocals, but Watson herself thinks there to be more of a contrast between her vocals and the music she sings over, saying that she personally believes there to be a “feminine airiness” to her vocals that “seems to work really well with the more bass-driven, masculine sound that the boys write.” Having known the duo for eleven years, Watson first sung with them on their 2007 track ‘This Way’, but the collaboration came about somewhat by chance. “They just needed a girl singing; they’d heard me singing around the place and asked me to join them. It kinda just built from there, but ‘This Way’ was the first dubstep beat that I’d worked on.” Like seemingly all contemporary electronic groups, Nero were formed in the bedroom, and after the joking dies down, Stephens is adamant that he and Ray “were just experimenting with computer music in general, having fun.” Remixing was a big part of Stephen and Ray’s early career but with an ever-hectic schedule, there are fewer opportunities to do so these days – they say they will be lucky to put out three remixes this year, rather than their previous high of twenty-four. However, it is a process that helps the pair of them to get in a creative space. “We normally want to do another take on the songs; give it a different feel - you can shift a song from major to a minor tone. I think that Calvin Harris one we did [of ‘Feel So Close’]; we shifted it to a G, and it gave it a completely different feel because the key behind it is different.” As our conversation wraps up, the trio turn their attention to the Academy. Tonight’s gig is relatively stripped down as their usual stage apparatus couldn’t fit into the venue; however, it’s big enough to fit a couple of sizeable video screens and an elaborate riser for all their musical equipment. Just from their live setup, it’s clear that Nero have ambition and enough of it to eschew the dubstep ghetto altogether. “We don’t feel that we’re necessarily a dubstep act any more,” states Ray, and as Nero further assimilate into the popular consciousness, who can blame them? It’s a label that grows more irrelevant by the day. Welcome Reality is out now.

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album REVIEWS The Original Rudeboys This Life E

The All-American Rejects Kids in the Street C

Black Dice

Hal

Mr. Impossible F

The Time, The Hour B+

This Life is the debut album from the Student Bar fodder that is the Original Rudeboys. On this, their big leap from an unsigned curiosity to a viable pop act, our working class heroes spend half their time building a comfortingly familiar wall of innocuousness, aping James Morrison’s patented nondescript warble, and the other half railing against it with their unfortunately grating ‘Dublin rap’. Sadly, these rap segments sound like a monologue from Adam and Paul. With each of This Life’s ten tracks striding through the same unoriginal and actually quite mannerly acoustic instrumentation, it calls into question how apt a band name the Original Rudeboys really is. To its credit, decent production value makes This Life perfectly listenable; the arrangements on ‘Stars in My Eyes’ and ‘Blue Eyes’ being quite lovely in their own way, but ultimately, the band are limited horribly by the same novelty that grabbed them the attention in the first place.

The quartet’s fourth album follows up chart-dominating past efforts like Move Along with little deviation. The remarkable similarity to past work is hinged on the dependency on choppy guitar lines and fast/slow changeups. Frontman Tyson Ritter’s vocals are still dreamy and the hooks compelling, yet this album leaves the listeners chomping at the bit for some variety. Lack of multiplicity aside, it fits with the Rejects’ self-carved niche in music as the power-pop groupie’s group. The live sound and sing-along choruses of ‘Beekeeper’s Daughter’ make it the album’s stellar moment, whereas ‘Someday’s Gone’ is vocally more self-indulgent on Ritter’s part, although a track of note nonetheless. Ten years of performing have not quenched the spontaneous energy or the appeal of this act, but you can’t help but wonder if the rehash of old releases soon will.

Black Dice, a trio from Brooklyn, have been performing together for fifteen years. Mr. Impossible, their sixth album, lacks cohesion and their over-produced, manipulated sound is repetitive and tedious. This is not music. This album consists of a combination of various sounds and noises squashed together into twenty-one minutes of pure insanity, twenty-one minutes of your life that you can never get back. The only thing the album accomplishes is that it would make the perfect instrument of torture. In fact, if this album had been in featured in Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs instead of ‘Stuck in the middle with you’ the police officer would probably have cut his own ear off. It is hard to find any redeeming factors about this album, as no one track stands out alone as particularly good or interesting. Black Dice’s brand of hardcore electronica is nothing short of offensive to the ears. Mr. Impossible’s loose noise and gritty sound is merely irritating.

In a Nutshell: Those Kids in the Street should Move Along down another musical avenue. by Emily Mullen

In a Nutshell: A trippy experience, but lacking any musical merit or consistency. Don’t waste your time or money. by Ciara Andrews

Fans of Hal have long awaited a successor to their 2005 self-titled debut album, and they will not be disappointed. The Dublin three-piece, known for their inter-meddling of country-rock and retro power-pop, have continued in the same vein to deliver another outstanding album. The Time, The Hour demonstrates nothing short of song writing mastery. The title track, one of the best on the album, uses dramatic instrumental exhibitionism to create a passionate and moody melody that dominates the song. In complete contrast, ‘Down In The Valley’ with its light-hearted infectious hook, is undoubtedly a summer anthem. The album’s only flaw is that certain tracks do not seem to sit well with others. Individually each song is excellent, but as a whole, the record goes from cheerfulness to drama and from light to shade so often and quickly that it disrupts the momentum and rhythm that is formed.

In a Nutshell: It doesn’t quite work. by Rob Mac Carthy

De La Soul’s Plug 1 & Plug 2 First Serve B-

In a Nutshell: Shady, sprightly and summery. by Greg Talbot

Upon the announcement of this This narrative seems contrived ambitious concept album featuring however, and merely adds De La Soul’s Dave and Posdnous in unnecessary context to songs that are character as a pair of rising rappers, in themselves sharp and relevant, expectations were high for a variety with standout tracks providing a of reasons, mainly because of the range of contemporary instrumentals relevance of De La Soul to hip-hop, in innovative fashion. Impressive as they emerged as pioneers within a productions ‘Pushin’ Aside, Pushin’ sphere dominated by gangster rap. The Along’ and ‘Small Disasters’ fully central narrative revolves around two epitomise the ample wit on display. struggling artists with high aspirations of becoming successful hip-hop artists. In a Nutshell: Stylish and silly in Within this framework, De la Soul equal measures. presents a knowing interpretation of the by Jack Walsh faults of the hip-hop industry, as well as introducing two likeable personalities. 23

OTWO Music

Apostoles Astray

Photographer: Ciara Andrews

porting sunglasses indoors at 11am, biceps inked with tattoos and exuding an utterly unapologetic vibe, Ian Watkins and Lee Gaze of Lostprophets appear like your quintessential jaded rockers. However, a few moments in their company reveals two thoughtful men who worked to build successful careers and leave the small town of Pontypridd, Wales. April 2012 sees the release of their fifth album Weapons, quite a feat in the merry-go round of modern music. The band formed in 1997, and while on the verge of embarking on a cycle of promotion and touring, look back on their career, which has for the most part thrived during undoubtedly the most uncertain, tumultuous time in the music industry generally. The current popular music trend for solo female singers and celebrity DJs is markedly different to the scene dominated with guitar bands in which they rose to prominence. Sanguine about not conforming to current trends in music, Gaze comments that the dearth of rock at the top

of the charts “isn’t good or bad - it is how it is”. Both feel it merely reflects a natural ebb and flow and a reaction to something of an over-saturation of guitar bands and not the death of ‘guys with guitars’ as some in the indie press lament. Gaze remarks that there was an oversaturation of indie and heavy rock in the early part of the decade and that greater openness by labels, stations and other components of the music industry led to an understandable public fatigue. Watkins and Gaze speak with a great self-awareness and come across as perhaps uncomfortable with their place in that wave. They now seem to desire their music to be judged not as part of a movement, but merely for what it is. Lostprophets have accumulated a tidy haul of Kerrang! Awards and still enthrall a dedicated fanbase who adore their blend of aggressive guitars and metal sound, so is Weapons more of the same? Of the recording process Watkins says “The way we work is still exactly the same ... when we are altogether we revert back to that mentality.”

Lostprophets sit down with Lizzy Beecham to discuss twelve years in the music industry, dealing with critics and being more Welsh than a bunch of daffodils

The music industry of 2012 is somewhat different to that which Watkins and Gaze encountered when Lostprophets released their first studio album Thefakesoundsofprogress all the way back at the turn of the century, but Watkins maintains that this change has not gone far enough. He expresses a resolute belief that the record industry’s refusal to “embrace the internet ... do everything they can as preventative measures” has left the bands and artists in a financially vulnerable position and tech companies such as Apple on top. Yet critical as they may be of the perspectives and practices of the record industry, they appear to fully accept their place within it, terming it a “necessary evil ... if you love doing it then you hope that you have a team that backs you.” The pair come across as pragmatic, and it seems unimaginable that they would wholly reject the industry norms. Both Watkins and Gaze appear to resolutely feel a strong sense of Welsh identity despite sustained periods away from Wales whilst touring, and both speak with genuine fondness of Pontypridd. Watkins muses that being Welsh ensures “that you don’t disappear up your own arse.” Do they feel that their career influenced the generation of teenagers for whom Lostprophets’ anthemic rock was the soundtrack to their youth? “Kids where we were can start a band, see it as something more realistic because we did it [when they didn’t have that],” offers Gaze. When questioned about the sometimes harsh critical receptions they have previously received, Gaze emphatically states “I checked out on what critics said, if you do read it you cannot but get offended by it ... usually they are giving you a bad review for the wrong reasons.” One is left with the clear impression that Lostprophets don’t allow any derision or negative sentiments to get in the way of their music. Gaze however, is careful to temper this statement by saying how the band view each record as an exciting challenge to appeal to new and different audiences, “with the core fan base you could make a record about beans on toast and they would like it ... I always ask ‘what is everybody else going to think?’” Both state that they firmly believe in engaging with an audience as being the most integral part of performing live, but they also accept the role their visual appearance plays. Watkins jokes that “We’ve always looked like this even before the band. The idiots in our town wear ridiculous shit.” And as our time concludes the conversation moves to discussions of early 1990’s hiphop, playing at festivals and collaborating on Labrinth’s album. Watkins and Gaze are still dedicated and excited about music; the interesting change will surely be the niche they find among today’s music fans.

Bombay Mix Tape

he descent of dubstep from vivid, pulsating subgenre to meaningless industry buzzword is no better reflected than in the crowd that greet Nero tonight. The 900 or so congregated at the Academy are the sort that precede every ‘wub wub’ with an ‘oo oo oooh’ and are prone to random outbreaks of Tag Team’s 1993 classic, ‘Whoomp! (There It is)’; very much your average punters, and why should they care about such minutiae? When Otwo calls London based indie-rock quartet and NME Best New Band award winners, Bombay Bicycle Club, a very sleepy Ed Nash greets us. The band is on tour in Australia, and it is barely eight in the morning when we’re put through to the bassist’s room. Aware that his constant yawns are probably something we’ve picked up on, Nash jokes that there “was an interview Jack [Steadman, singer and guitarist] did when he was very drunk, which is a bit worse than doing an interview when you’re tired.” Despite the early morning PR calls from this side of the globe, Nash is very excited to be touring Australia for the first time. This excitement is not just because of the location however, as touring is what makes the job worthwhile for him. “I much prefer to be on the road. I think that’s the reason we all do it. That’s why we got into it at the beginning. It’s always nice to go out and say hey to the fans and play

Music OTWO

Ed Nash, bassist for Bombay Bicycle Club chats to Aoife Valentine about their new sound, their terrible name and playing in mineshafts

shows. You kind of see the reaction. years, A Different Kind of Fix. It is It wouldn’t be the same if you were quite the step away from their prejust always sitting in a room with vious work, particularly their last four other people.” album, Flaws, which was completeNot content with just playing ly acoustic. It was an album that shows in the usual haunts every in- was never intended to come to exdie act frequents, the band have been istence, so this was most definitely known to seek out some strange a conscious move. “Flaws started venues over the past three years, off as some B-side recordings of the the oddest of which, he claims, was acoustic songs that we had and then in a mineshaft. “We played down … we realised we had a lot of B-sides a mineshaft but due to it being a that we were really into. Over the mineshaft, we couldn’t actually take course of the year, while we were many people down with us. We took releasing I Had The Blues…, we were literally like, us and then two other recording Flaws … It wasn’t really people, so we were pretty much meant to be a thing, it was meant to playing to ourselves down a mine- be something on the side, to show shaft, so that was pretty strange. another side of the band. We didn’t That’s pretty fucking random.” really think it would do anything, Nash is quick to include playing we just did it for our own sake. We in a castle as a close second, regard- released it and people took hold of less, however, of whether the audi- it.” ence was paying any attention. “We Named after a chain of Indian played in a castle. A lot of people takeaways down the road from the turned up not to see us, but as an ex- school in which the band met, Bomcuse to party and to get drunk. We bay Bicycle Club have been subject turned up and there were probably to much ridicule over their choice of about 400 people who were all get- moniker in the past, however Nash ting drunk and really, really lairy. maintains that it’s a step up from No one could hear us playing at all their original choice. “I think The so Jack decided he’d go somewhere Canals is pretty shit as well. Bomelse and do a little acoustic set. He bay Bicycle Club is a terrible name; I walked off with a couple of girls and think we deserve all the stick we get five minutes later this guy comes up for it. In all honesty, when we startto me, so drunk, so aggressive and ed the band we were fifteen and I he was like, ‘Hey your singer walked don’t think we considered it would off with my girlfriend and I’m going have a big impact on the rest of our to kill him’, and I was like, shit. It lives, and here we are seven years was like a race to find Jack between later talking about Bombay Bicycle us and this guy who would have Club, a name we stole from a curry literally beaten him up, so that was house. I don’t think anyone saw that pretty strange.” coming.” The band are currently tourPreparing for a summer packed ing with their third album in three with festival appearances is some-

thing that the band is very excited about. “I’m incredibly looking forward to those. Reading and Leeds is my favourite festival in the world. It’s the first festival I went to as a punter when I was sixteen after I finished my GCSEs, and I’ve been every year since. It’s kind of like a homecoming gig for us.” Before that however, they return to do a UK and European tour, with a pitstop in Dublin, having deemed their recent Irish gigs as “some of the fondest shows from the last year.” With such a packed schedule, keeping to their album-a-year precedent could perhaps prove tricky, but Nash isn’t averse to trying. “We did three albums in three years, which is quite hard to do. That took a lot of work and that also meant we didn’t tour so much because we were in the studio or Jack was always writing. We’ve learnt to make music on tour now, and Jack’s come up with some songs that I’m sure will go on the next album that are very good, so I guess we just need to see what we come up with over the next couple of months while we’re touring and that will determine how soon the next album will be.” With another gig ahead of him later on, it’s on the promise of a fourth album not too far in the future that we let Nash return to his bed, hopefully this time undisturbed by phone calls from the other side of the planet. Bombay Bicycle Club play the Olympia on April 30th. Tickets are priced from €22.90. A Different Kind of Fix is out now. 25

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The duffington post Still reeling from the latest Grimes record, Cormac Duffy grapples with the idea of internet music As anyone who widely reads music journalism will know, the same take on an artist tends to pop up again and again, repeated to a level that begs for a ‘Roxanne’style drinking game. The latest offender is discussion of 2012’s thus far most substantial buzz-thing Grimes, Montreal’s Claire Boucher, as ‘post-internet’ music, from a quote she dropped in interview years back. Firstly, it seems to support the thesis that music writing prefers analysis readiness to quality, but that’s for a different, more selfreferential column. What it really brings up is the case for internet music as a discrete phenomenon. We’ve reached a critical mass of sounds that are by-products of our online life, that we can now classify as a culture with its own music, slotting neatly between India and Iran in our local record shop’s world music section. In Grimes’ case, it refers to that genredefying scope that comes only from an adolescence where all the world’s sounds were a click away, a common cause of our era’s maximalist tendencies. But the inf luence has been pointed out in other cases, even without catchy quotes by the artist. The culture gorging that the internet allows, as well as the ability to self-release your pet projects regardless of the fact that they’re slightly less listenable than a traffic jam, means that the internet is the home of weirdness. At the same time, this opening up of our cultural access has left us to consume the past greedily, regurgitating it as either unabashed plagiarism, or the strange, critical engagements with the past we hear in the work of James Ferraro or Maria Minerva. As easy as it is to draw these links and carve out a category for it all, it’s an approach that limits our insight into what’s really going on. On one level, the effects attributed to the internet are nothing amazing. At least since the day when the Beatles were high enough to think an all-white album cover was a great idea, genre has been pretty much opt-in, and at similar times, we look not at how the structure dictates. To say music is a product of the internet is like saying that the Avalanches were a product of secondhand records. Sure it’s true, but it’s hardly the determinant of Since I Left You’s quality. Music is the same whatever time period it came from, and criticism should keep the treatment the same, and make sure the focus is on the music, not the structure they’re in, no matter how nice a narrative it makes.

mixtape Songs that warrant buying ridiculously large headphones

It takes a rare tune to make you value audio quality over not looking ridiculous. Coire Mc Crystall offers the perfect mixtape for those head-squeezing new ‘phones

Skrillex – ‘Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites’ Muse – ‘Yes Please’ Dubstep and helmet-sized headphones ‘Yes Please’ is a song which asks you a go hand in hand, but this is a case of question and then answers it for you. The health and safety. You’re going to need question it asks is ‘Those headphones you something massive and soft to cushion have won’t crush your skull nearly enough your fall after these ten storey drops. to justify a tune like this, would you like bigger ones?’ The answer? Yes, please. Rage Against the Machine – ‘Take the Power Back’ Aphex Twin – Investing in a pair of preposterously ‘Come To Daddy (Pappy Mix)’ large headphones and hanging on You may not recognise this song every vitriol-flavoured note slapped by name, probably because you’ve out by Rage Against the Machine is the repressed it in a fit of terror. However, quintessential way of purging yourself with a pair of suitably oversized of any residual middle-class teenage headphones you can Ghostbuster ‘Come angst. There might not be a lot you to Daddy’ and it unravels like an episode can do about the world at the moment, of Scooby Doo. It was a distorted but you can damn sure irreversibly bassline, a drum track and unkempt damage your hearing in the meantime. vocals the whole time, guys! Enter Shikari – ‘Sorry, You’re Not a Winner’ The truth hurts. It especially hurts when it’s drilled into your head with all the subtlety and grace of a jackhammer via outlandishly huge headphones. Enter Shikari sound brilliant chastising you at any volume, but it’s especially true when you spend most of your student grant on a pair of headphones. Giraffes? Giraffes! – ‘Emilie Sagée’s Secret’ To understand the subtle intricacies of this math rock masterpiece, you’ll need some heavy duty equipment. That said, if you’re the type of person who already deconstructs math rock songs, hipster cred like yours wouldn’t let you be without a pair of headphones as wide as your musical tastes. Ratatat – ‘Neckbrace’ ‘Neckbrace’ is one of those songs titled as a warning rather than an advertisement. The gratuitous bassline and complimenting lyrical simplicity ensure that after a few listens your head will have bobbed so much that you’ll need a neckbrace. The only logical answer is to make the problem a hundred times worse by adding ridiculous headphones into the mix.

The Beatles – ‘Helter Skelter’ When this was recorded, every pair of headphones was a ridiculously large pair. The only way you could get more old school is if you used two tin cans and a piece of string, so make like Charles Manson and get listenin’. The Evpatoria Report – ‘Taijin Kyofusho’ Set to the eerie, crackly communications between a pilot and air traffic control, ‘Taijin Kyofusho’ is the perfect excuse to solemnly ponder the nature of your own being, whilst pretending to be an airline pilot, complete with ludicrously oversized listening apparatus. You might have a bit of bother securing a cockpit to complete the fantasy though… Mogwai – ‘Rano Pano’ To fully understand ‘Rano Pano’ you really have to immerse yourself in it at maximum volume like some kind of strange musical sleeping bag. The bass kicks through its own distorted aura and makes short work of any lesser headphones attempting to subvert its bid for brain-scrambling volume.

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Show Patrol Tuesday 27th March

Breton – The Academy 2 – 7:30pm – €12

Wednesday 28th March

Fidello Trio with Carol McGonnell – The Coach House – 8pm – €10 - €40

Gig of the Fortnight

Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All Monday 2nd April – Olympia Theatre – 7pm – €23.50

The preeminent LA skate-rap collective are mired in infamy for their puerile and flippant lyrics as well as their ever-quotable stage personas, but they are now returning to Dublin for their sins after their much talked about gig at the Olympia last summer. This show promises more of the same punk rowdiness but will now include added Earl Sweatshirt after his prolonged stint in rehab/ bootcamp/jail/Samoa, and songs off the group’s latest release, The Odd Future Tape, Vol. 2. Expect couplets about rape, porn, kidnap, Bruno Mars and everything else the common mind would find disagreeable, and maybe a few broken bones as well if crowd participation gets particularly heightened.

Thursday 29th March

Derren Brown – Bord Gáis Energy Theatre – 7:30pm – €35 - €45 The Last Waltz Live – The Olympia Theatre – 7:30pm – €25 The Walls – Whelan’s – 8pm – €15

Friday 30th March

Rustie – The Twisted Pepper – 10:30pm – €13.95 Justice Tonight Tour, featuring Mick Jones of the Clash – The Academy – 7pm – €25 Aidan Moffat & Bill Wells – The Grand Social – 8pm – €18

Saturday 31st March

Steve Aoki – The Academy – 7:30pm – €29 The Original Rudeboys – The Grand Social – 7:30pm – €14 The Furey’s & Davey Arthur – Vicar St – 8:30pm – €30

Sunday 1st April

Korn – The Olympia Theatre – 7:30pm – €52.50 The Waterboys – Bord Gáis Energy Theatre – 8pm – €45.50

Monday 2nd April

Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All – The Olympia Theatre – 7pm – €23.50 Obscura – The Pint – 7pm – €20

Tuesday 3rd April

Steps – The O2 – 8pm – €35 - €44.05

Wednesday 4th April

Wet Nuns – The Academy 2 – 7pm – €13 Allen Stone – Workman’s Club – 8pm – €22 James McCartney – Whelan’s – 8pm – €11.75 Thursday 5th April The Kanyu Tree – Whelan’s – 7:30pm – €12.50 Little Green Cars – Workman’s – 8pm – €6

Friday 6th April

Architects – The Academy – 6pm – €16.50 Saturday 7th April Tommy Tiernen – Vicar St – 8:30pm – €35 You Me at Six – Olympia Theatre – 7:30pm – €26 Dark Room Notes – The Twisted Pepper – 8pm – €11.75

Sunday 8th April

Flux Pavilion – The Academy – 11pm – €20 Björn Akesson – Button Factory – 9pm – €17.50 Surgeon – Twisted Pepper – 10:30pm – €17.65

Monday 9th April

JLS – The O2 – 8pm – €27.90 - €40.55 Twin Atlantic – The Academy 2 – 7pm – €15 by George Morahan

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The cast of Tallafornia Shag, marry, kill?

Ordinary Level

“I’d kill Nikita, marry David and shag Cormac. He’s beautiful, just so beautiful.”

Ellen O’Leary, 2nd Year Politics

“Kill, just kill.”

Declan Clear, Final Year History & Classics

“I’d kill the blondy guy, he annoys me. I’d marry the young eighteen-year old one. Then the one with the big fake tits, I’d shag her.” Dean Jackson, Arts

“I wouldn’t kill the blonde one or the one with the big tits, I’d kill the slutty one. I’d marry David and then shag him, because I’m not a slut”

Sinead McNestry & Jackie Murphy, 3rd Year Arts

“I’d marry none of them. I’d kill Phil, the little runt. If I had to shag one, I guess it would probably be the blondy haired fella. Think his name is Dave.” Amy Cassidy, Nice Readers Lady

Voxpops: Matt Gregg Photographer: Aoife Valentine