O-two Volume XVII Issue 11

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Please Talk!

With the UCD Ball lineup announced today, O-two asked what dream act would you like to play at the event?

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29TH MAR 2011 ISSUE 11 VOL. XVII

The University Observer’s Arts & Culture Supplement

Ciara Leddy, 1st year Psychology (left) and Sinéad Dunne, 1st year Arts (right) –The Strokes, Panic at the Disco and Joy Division.

Humor have played an array of venues ranging from the Academy 2 to friends’ birthdays

Campus Band Questionnaire: Humor Oisin O Coigligh from Humor talks to O-two about their love of Pendulum, why they’re not a typical boyband and the salt in the Main Restaurant Who are your members and what do they play?

Robert McAuley (bass/vocals), David Gallagher (drums/ambient sound), Oisin O Coigligh (guitar/ occasional vocals).

Where did you get the inspiration for your name?

The answer to this is more cryptic than ten Da Vinci codes read by Stephen Fry on tape. Robert was walking in the woods one day and had an epiphany, that’s all I was bothered to ask him just there. The real genius behind it is that it’s the American spelling of humour, so we won’t have to worry about making it in the States. Let us not forget that the human eye has an aqueous and a vitreous humour. And only five words rhyme with Humor. The more you think about it, the less you give a shit.

Where do you gig?

Pretty much anywhere that will have us, The Twisted Pepper, Academy 2, Whelan’s or The Pint. Also sheds, birthdays and barbeques. We try not to let the fame go to our heads.

What do you play on your tour bus?

Supermarket sweep with Dale Winton and Castlevania 3D. Lyric FM has some good stuff, we like the classics. We sometimes slap on Eiffel 65 and ‘Maniac 2000’ to get us ready for a rockin’ gig. We recently decided to scrap the bus in favour of something more environmentally friendly. Like some kind of Dutch solar-powered van that is powered by global warming.

It’s on the way, but until then we’ll fumigate Dublin getting to whatever pub we’re playing at.

What’s the best thing about going to UCD? UCD is like an elephant: big and ugly but lots of fun.

The top floor of the science hub is pretty good for a bit of soul searching and lab reports. There can be some pretty class gigs in the Student Bar like the Wolftones and Director, although truthfully I was probably the only person at both. Occasionally we get a cool celebrity in such as Dave McSavage and the ultra-smooth Bill Clinton. Professor Pat Guiry and Dr Tommy Gallagher need a mention as well as two lecturers I would want on my side in a bar fight.

What’s the worst thing about going to UCD? People constantly telling you to get involved. They forget that college is about going to lectures, and then drinking to forget those lectures. Not to mention negative marking, no plug sockets in the library and nowhere to get food after seven o’clock. Another thing, and I don’t think I’m alone here, the UCD restaurant making you pay for salt when it’s clearly a human right.

Which acts would you choose to headline your dream festival?

Pendulum, Deftones, Reuben. That would be beautiful, although frankly I don’t think there is one quiet song between the three of them.

Where would be your dream place to play?

Personally it’s a tie between Reading festival and Electric Picnic. A submarine would be interesting How do you differ from other bands in UCD? We’re not your typical boyband who talks about their feelings and thoughts in songs. We find that when you read enough of the back of DVD boxes, the songs come to you. And we don’t pay more than a tenner for our haircuts, clearly.

In conversation with Killian Woods.

Karen Buckley, Arts International (left) and Aoibhinn Malarey, Final-Year Law (right) – Daft Punk, they’d be deadly for the event that it is. Everyone would be going crazy to it at night time with the lights. Muse would also be really good.

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RT PURE AT HEA G N EI B F O S > THE PAIN N SPECIAL > SU ELECTIO KILLING > ESSENTIAL PORTS > FANTASY S

Mark O’Donnell, 2nd year Business and Law – The Jackson 5 because, well, it’d be cool to see a zombie for one.

Conor Boden Final-year Law – It’d be nice to have Daft Punk, because they would be deadly.

- Quinton O’Reilly

WARPAINT O-two talk to the indie darlings about broken relationships, sexism in rock and palm trees

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Lactose tolerance

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The wonder of Wales Ydych chi’n siarad Cymraeg? No, we can’t pronounce that either but that hasn’t stopped Andrew Hines from exploring the beautiful sights of Pembrokeshire

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03 REGULARS

SOAPBOX George Morahan is hatin’ the haters with his defence of Rebecca Black. And no, defence is not a typo.

WHAT'S HOT & WHAT'S NOT Alison Lee sets the world straight with her sage advice.

04 - 06 SU ELECTION SPECIAL

Killian Woods gives an in-depth profile of RON amongst other things, while we introduce a late candidate running for election – Ailbhe McJobseeker.

07 GAMES

– Mathew Jones reviews the upcoming game Duke Nukem Forever that could be coming to a store near you, maybe.

– Next in our series on games you never heard of is Okami; Quinton O’Reilly tells you why it’s great and you’re wrong.

08 SPIRITUAL & SEXUAL ADVICE

Fadora McSexypants takes on your sex woes, while Mystic Mittens looks into the future to see whether it really will clear up in 3-4 weeks.

16 FILM

REVIEWS Limitless, Country Strong and Essential Killing get the O-two treatment.

TOP TEN The moment no one has been waiting for: Jon Hozier-Byrne and Killian Woods evaluate the best side boobs in cinematic history.

TV CTN feels the wrath of Fadora McSexypants, while Natalie Voorheis settles in with the Fawlty Towers boxset.

19 FEATURE

Irish Stars? There are plenty of them apparently as Jon Hozier-Byrne dissects the Irish film industry.

20 MUSIC

INTERVIEWS –We chat to the Low Anthem, Glasser, The Blackout and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart.

SHUFFLE – O-two fights the man with this list of Songs to revolt to.

WRITE LIKE APES – Disappointed by the UCD Ball lineup? Here’s a better one by George Morahan.

CD REVIEWS – It does what it says on the tin.

09 WEBWATCH

26 FOOD AND DRINK

10 FASHION

From East to even more East – Andrew Hines and Sophie Lioe visit Wales and Singapore.

– It may not truly be fantasy without dragons, but Ryan Mackenzie explores the magical world of online fantasy sports.

– Anna Burzlaff meanwhile tackles a different fantasy world with the time travelling website whatwasthere.com Local Dublin fashion designers take the spotlight in this issue’s fashion shoot, men finally get some fashion advice and Lady Gaga gets a dressing down.

14 HEADLINER

Experimental art rock group Warpaint talk to George Morahan about... war. And paint.

Feeding yourself is a hassle at the best of times, but for those with allergies it can be a nightmare. Emer Sugrue finds out how to stuff your face without consequences.

27 TRAVEL

28 BACK PAGE

– We asked you to Please Talk about the UCD Ball and this is what you said.

– UCD band Humor can’t spell, but can talk, as they answer our Campus Band Questionnaire.

+(##(,*-,%.*#/(*01) Hidely-ho readerinos!

In between obsessively scrolling our way through eyeonspringfield.tumblr.com and throwing darts at SU election posters, we have managed to produce a magazine bursting with interviews, reviews, features and all kinds of other journalistic stuff.

Our features in this penultimate issue include the next big thing in experimental rock – Warpaint chat to our music editor about being an all-girl band, sexism and other sexy stuff like that. We also have interviews with The Low Anthem, Glasser, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart and our resident bespectacled hobbit sits down with The Blackout in our one page nonfeature interview.

The other music news at Observer HQ has been all about the barely-teen sensation Rebecca Black, the whiny American songstress who has RUINED FRIDAY FOREVER. Despite the irritations and the domineering evil behemoth (Ark Music Factory) that unleashed this monstrosity, George Morahan faces up to the haytahs from his Soapbox. He may defend her right to sing whatever she wants, but we still defend our right to harshly criticise misguided children.

Our fashion expert Donna Doyle leads the way with her exhibit of local Dublin designs, while Mary Cody takes on the cult of Gaga and Joe Murphy shows you poor menfolk how to dress yourselves. We review upcoming movies Limitless, Country Strong and Essential Killing and some old box set favourites, before evaluating one of the most important aspects of cinema: the sideboob.

Finally, we would like to congratulate everyone in who was nominated in the upcoming National Student Media Awards, it’s been a long year and this makes not having a social life almost worth it. Now back to the library!

Yours faithfully, Emer and Killian

short ferry ride across Saint George’s Channel lies a mystical place where the jagged cliffs jutting out into the ocean are sleeping giants, waiting to one day awake and come to aid of the Celts in their time of need.

As a gullible American tourist, I readily ate up these ancient stories and set out for Wales. Unfortunately none of the locals seemed to take the lore as seriously, but anyone disappointed by this would be quickly appeased once you discover the many varieties there.

Pembrokeshire is the most south-western county in Wales and surrounded by the sea on three sides.

It boasts some of the most scenic landscapes in the country, but it is far from being a wilderness expedition as frequent buses and trains along the coast make travel a breeze. There is a 300km path that runs along the coast passing by some of the best surfing beaches in Wales as well as a variety of castles, monasteries and nature reserves.

The (perhaps surprisingly) beautiful summer weather is perfect for camping and there are cheap £5 campsites dotted along the trail. The campsites have a great summer crowd with very few tourists. If you want a hot meal and a shower, there are also some very good YHA hostels along the trail. However, book in advance as they have limited space and tend to fill up throughout the summer. Most of the towns and villages along the way have hotels or a bed and breakfast and will almost certainly have a few restaurants and pubs.

One of the bigger surprises to be found during your

Wales is one of the most mountainous countries in Europe time there is Welsh beer. Welsh beer is possibly one of the best kept secrets of the country: if you ask a Welsh barman familiar with the beer lore, he will tell you that Arthur Guinness got all of his inspiration from Welsh stout. The beer brewing tradition goes back to the middle ages where home brewing was common in Wales. The Welsh beer market tends to have a bit more variety than Ireland and arguably some of the

best darks in Europe can be found in Wales.

The locals are friendly and eager to chat and the culture has yet to be spoiled by flocks of tourists overrunning their towns. If you’re looking for a clubbing holiday, this is probably not your spot, but if you are up for some camping, hiking or surfing and a good pint, the Pembrokeshire coastline should be your first stop.

What’s the story Singapore-y?

It’s a small, small world that Sophie Lioe discovers when traversing the exotic and eccentric land of Singapore

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ingapore is a real-life Disneyland. Picture this: streets so clean you could probably eat your dinner off them if you were so inclined, each building lining the harbour painted a different colour – think Balamory, but Eastern – and each tree trimmed to perfection. All that’s missing is deranged happy people in ridiculous costumes.

Getting into the country itself, however, is a less delightful process due to the strict border control and the fear that you might accidentally be smuggling banned chewing gum in your back pocket from months ago. The four-hour bus ride from the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur crosses the connecting causeway between the two countries but you may as well be hopping on a longhaul flight to the other side of the globe: the difference between the two on a cultural level is extraordinary.

After Singapore gained independence from Malaysia in 1965, the country developed unrecognisably and is now considered one of the economic and academic leaders of the world. It’s also one of the wealthiest countries in the world, attracting huge businesses and ever-present tourists alike. Not bad for a country which measures just

25km by 48km.

However, the city itself initially gives off a slightly strange impression, appearing somewhat fake. In its attempt at being a cultural, historical place, this eventually gives way to a sense of security and ease. The longer you stay there, the more you never want to leave. Who wouldn’t want to live in a beautiful, safe, clean city?

Although Singapore’s crazy laws such as no chewing gum and no eating or drinking on or near public transport may indicate a country so obsessed with perfection that you’re scared to put a foot wrong, you’re soon distracted by the extraordinary architecture, charming streets and numerous tourist attractions, such as its very own Universal Studios.

The main harbour area, Marina Bay, and the affluent Orchard Road (Singapore’s answer to Fifth Avenue) offer not only traditional Chinese and Malay food, but any Western delight you could want – from Hooters to fine Italian cuisine.

After travelling around China and Malaysia for the weeks leading up to this, a bit of a reminder of home was somewhat of a welcome relief. The harbour’s nightlife area (such as Clarke Quay) is buzzing with Latino bars

According to the Economist Intelligence Unit, Singapore has the best quality of life in Asia where you can Salsa dance into the night, to Irish pubs to try out how well Guinness travels.

You can even see what it’s like to sit in a fake wheelchair and drink brightly coloured cocktails through a drip, surrounded by hospital screens and being served by staff in scrubs and masks in the Clinic Bar. Slightly bizarre, I know. But in a word, that’s just what Singapore is.

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Lactose tolerance

In light of the ever-increasing numbers of allergy sufferers, Emer Sugrue finds out where in Dublin caters for our picky friends.

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SOAPBOX Like the contrarian fellow he is, George Morahan defends Rebecca Black’s right to decimate your ears

WHAT’S WHAT’S

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Rustic Stone is one of many restaurants whose menu caters for those with food allergies

ingredients.

Depending on your particular brand of finicky, Italian foods can a blessing or a curse. Pizza and pasta tend to be the staple of vegetarians, particularly the paradoxically vegetable-hating ones, but the prospect is not so good for your lactose intolerant or coeliac guests. Practically everything is packed with wheat and cheese but there are alternatives.

There is some vegan and lactose free cheese available in the supermarkets, but you’ll have to stick to tomato-based pasta otherwise.

There are wheat and gluten-free pastas available made from corn and rice flour, and a few options for gluten-free pizza bases.

Credo, near Harcourt Street, offers a full gluten-free menu including desserts, with a separate kitchen to guarantee there is no contamination. They deliver both glutenfree and normal pizzas to anywhere in South Dublin so it’s ideal for parties.

If you head into town for a meal, the options open up a bit. As well as the food mentioned above, there are a host of speciality restaurants catering to all sorts of allergies and preferences.

Usually once you find one or two allergens mentioned on a menu, you can be confident of a careful and understanding chef who will be happy to make alterations to a dish.

There can be slight problems if you have a server that doesn’t speak English well, but staff tend to be well briefed on these issues, and you can always get the message across in the end.

And if all else fails: there is still the green salad without dressing.

While there are many restaurants out there that cater for those with food allergies, here are a few prime examples: Rustic Stone - Vegetarian, Wheat Free, Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Sugar Free 17 South Great Georges St Dublin 2 (01) 707 9596 www.rusticstone.ie Cafe Fresh - Vegan, Vegetarian, Dairy Free, Wheat Free, Raw, Egg Free, Sugar Free, Gluten Free, Yeast Free South William St Dublin 2 (01) 671 9669 www.cafe-fresh.com Cornucopia Restaurant - Vegan, Vegetarian, Egg Free, Dairy Free, Yeast Free, Wheat Free, Gluten Free 19/20 Wicklow St Dublin 2 (01) 677 7583 www.cornucopia.ie Govinda’s - Vegan, Vegetarian, Egg Free, Garlic Free, Onion Free, Dairy Free 44 Aungier Street Dublin 2 (01) 475 0309 www.govindas.ie Blazing Salads - Vegetarian, Vegan, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Yeast Free, Sugar Free, Wheat Free, Nut Free, Organic 42 Drury Street Dublin 2 (01) 671 9552 www.blazingsalads.com

incompatible with human arteries after all, thus stripping Ms Black of the spotlight.

The Rebecca Black phenomenon is also highlighting some of the nasty truths of the internet. YouTube has seemingly discarded one of our society’s founding traits. Our capacity to patronise kids is at an all-time low and frankly, we should be ashamed of ourselves. In years past, we would be content to give such daring children a condescending “well done”, a pat on the head (while brandishing our best grimace/smile) before quickly moving on.

Now it seems we are sadistically compelled to mock them at all costs. The least we could do is give the girl some constructive criticism, or highlight the few positive qualities her music has. I mean, I would have never thought to rhyme the word bowl with cereal, would you?

I admit I have indulged in dissecting the flaws of Rebecca’s lyrics as much as the next commenter, but I’m sure I have better things to do. Maybe instead of seething in anger or laughing our heads off, we should be alerting the authorities of the many children driving around in flash cars (and without seatbelts no less). Or maybe we should warn Rebecca’s parents about the rapping paedophile seen driving around in search of school buses. Either way, we should stop watching.

What’s Hot

Rebecca Black has explained the days of the weekend to nearly 50 million people and counting ust leave Rebecca Black alone, alright. She may have not have any real talent or the ability to actually say the word Friday, but the girl is 13, leave her be.

Those out there saying she should cut herself and hoping she gets an eating disorder are just wasting minutes of their lives that they’ll never get back.

I don’t think anything has ever been less worthy of the internet’s collective wrath. Of all the menial things to disturb the blogosphere from its orgy of porn and lolcats, it’s not a tsunami or the spelling of “Qguaadafee”, but a teen wannabe, whose ambitions overshoot her ability by a light year (or two). And good on her, she wants her 15 minutes and who are we to deny her.

Even those who are set on her destruction are only playing into the girl’s favour. This whole “we don’t hate you because you’re famous; you’re famous because we hate you” attitude is completely self-defeating. At the time of writing, ‘Friday’ is inching towards 50 million views.

Most of those have come from people who just need a laugh, but those who think it represents yet another milestone in the descent of western civilisation need to cheer up, she’ll be gone in a couple of weeks.

By complaining, you’re missing out on what makes ‘Friday’ so fun (fun fun fun) and only prolonging your misery until Charlie Sheen realises tigerblood isn’t actually

HOT NOT

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With a newfound love of the Hoff, Alison Lee returns to once again analyse the fortnight’s highs and lows

What’s Not

atering for friends with disparate food needs is a tricky business. A quick flick through your favourite recipes will show that everything you eat is bound to make one of your friends break out in hives. Even without allergies to consider, there are vegetarians, vegans, and those weirdos who won’t eat mushrooms.

Throwing dinner parties can be great fun but with so many competing illnesses and preferences, the research and preparation could take days. While it’s very tempting to relax on, with allergies you really do have to be careful – it spoils the mood somewhat to skip dessert for a trip to the emergency room, or when a friends frantic vomiting drowns out your Belle and Sebastian CD. All supermarkets these days have an allergy section, but it’s usually quite limited. So unless you have a particular urge to spend hours reading the list of ingredients, going to a restaurant is by far the better option when dealing with picky friends.

This way, you can nod sympathetically when the only thing they can order is green salad without dressing while you chomp your way through a meat feast. With a bit of preparation however, you can find plenty of places in Dublin with something for everyone.

There are several options for takeaway. Indian food is always a good choice; they tend not to specify suitability for coeliacs, but flour is not used in Indian dishes. Once you stay away from the obvious; naan bread, popadoms and the like, you should be fine.

They also have plenty of dairy-free, egg-free, vegetarian and vegan dishes to choose from.

Bombay Pantry is particularly good with information about ingredients, their menu marks which dishes are unsuitable for those with nut allergies and coeliac disease, as well as what can be prepared as vegan. Few restaurants can guarantee there is no contamination however.

Chinese and Thai and Japanese food can be a problem for coeliacs. Apart from the obviously batter or breadcrumb-covered food, soy sauce is made with wheat and is used liberally in all dishes. Wheat free soy sauce is easy to use at home but seems to be unknown in restaurants.

Gluten-free food can often be requested – Yamamori and Siam Thai are careful to mark suitable dishes.

Most sushi is fine, just stick to the wasabi rather than the soy and always skip the miso.

Vegans and those with seafood allergies should avoid this type of food completely – almost everything contains oyster, prawn or other fish sauce. You can’t even taste it but it is in everything: watch out for this too if you use jars of sauce at home. Nuts are an issue also, as cashews, peanuts and sesame are common

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The amazingness The launch of the Phil Lynott of the Electric Exhibition Picnic lineup

The Hoff to replace Simon Cowell

Hats off to the powers that be at Stradbally for pulling together yet another mouth-watering lineup. Interpol, Death In Vegas and Pulp are just a few acts that will delight indie kids this September – assuming the poor things can extricate themselves from a quagmire of liquid mud and straighten their hair in time to get to the main stage.

The world’s largest collection of Phil Lynott and Thin Lizzy memorabilia has been gathered together into one of the most fascinating exhibitions on contemporary music Dublin has ever seen.

However the show only runs until April 3rd, no procrastinating! Get your skates on and pay homage to the legend that is Phil Lynott while you can.

It seemed the Hoff’s glory days were over when he got dropped as a judge from America’s Got Talent thanks to his drinking problem. But the former Baywatch hunk has been given a second chance across the Atlantic, replacing nasty Simon Cowell as a judge on Britain’s Got Talent. It’s unlikely this’ll make the show worth watching, but it can’t hurt.

The staggering dullness of SU Elections

The existence of breast milk ice cream

Nike’s attempts to predict the future

Just when you thought elections were all over, boom – the SU strikes again with an interminable week of campaigning. It’s now impossible to walk ten metres in UCD without being accosted by a scarily enthusiastic, flierwielding campaigner.

Just turn on your best “apathy” face, stick your hands in your pockets and keep walking.

If Lady Gaga thinks something’s gross, it must be pretty bad – the woman wears clothes made out of raw meat for god’s sake. Gaga put her tiny foot down when a London ice-cream parlour started selling human breast milk ice cream, naming the concoction “Baby Gaga”. The disturbing dessert is now off the market, after quite a “storm in a D-cup”.

The sportswear giant made hundreds of T-shirts, not to mention a fancy TV commercial, to celebrate England winning the Grand Slam. This turned out to be a somewhat premature move considering how easily the Irish team beat the English recently.

Leaks from the Nike headquarters inform O-two that Nike’s team of fortune-tellers have been fired and replaced by an octopus.

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SU Elections for Dummies

With the Students’ Union (SU) election hype building, Killian Woods gives the fools a rundown of the SU elections technology exam” and “09/10: Attended a lecture and got one per cent of my final grade”. However, no doubt the most cringeworthy aspect of manifestos are the personal biographies which try to be funny, but really fail miserably. Below is an O-two sample.

“O-two is a native of the UCD Student Centre.

They have been a class rep for the past five years in a row for 2nd year Commerce. Like most people, they are huge Star Wars fans and like eating donuts from Nine One One. It was once rumoured that O-two defeated Chuck Norris and kicked the homophobia out of him with our famed rainbow kick. After contracting the clap at Class Rep training, O-two has carried the disease with pride and emblazoned it on many others since. Remember, we do have a vote and we’ll vote for YOU!”

Facebook We provide a foolproof SU guide for the common student on the street

Manifestos/Posters

Before you heard the candidates, and definitely before you saw them desperately trying to get attention at the bottom of your lecture hall, the first sight you probably caught of them was on a poster or when you found a lecture hall plastered in their manifestos.

The manifestos are merely a condensed form of the views, opinions and achievements of your potential representatives. Crammed in from cover to cover have to be certain bare necessities. On the cover is an essential mug shot that must beam confidence, with a hint of smugness so the candidate can maintain their ‘I’m better than you’ aura.

Inside the cover, all those bright ideas come to life in brightly coloured boxes with words in them, coupled with a shot of the candidate leaning against an imaginary wall or on their hunkers beside a lake.

The candidates list their aims that they seem to feel are feasible and represent students’ needs in the simplest (and most grammatically inept) English possible. Whether it’s ensuring a water fountain gets installed in <insert generic building here> or ordering the library staff to work longer hours, in the end they are really powerless to turn those words into a successful mandate.

The back page of the manifestos can be somewhat of a quirky addition, but usually end up being a monstrosity. Contents usually include achievements such as “10/11: Helped out on SHAG week and thus failed my continuous assessment Plant Bio-

Battles for election are no longer won and lost on the grounds of UCD campus. It’s simply not enough to out roar the other sabbatical candidates at the bottom of lecture theatres and hope to sway votes anymore.

Nowadays, the typical voter in the UCDSU elections will be 76 per cent more likely to be swayed by a colourful and enticing Facebook page than any sort of charismatic leadership skills displayed by the candidate.

Voting

Just like your sexual preference, you have the right to choose which smiley-eyed candidate you want to vote for. Albeit the choice on offer will make you weigh up in your head the pros and cons of democracy, but at least you get to pick.

Tick the box, put numbers down or rip the ballot paper up. In the end, your voice will be heard and processed into some sort of future county councillor earning a mandate to represent your rights in the upcoming academic year.

O-two can’t recommend who you should vote for, but we can advise. Naturally if your chosen candidate wins, you’ll have to look at them on more posters for the next year at least, so why not vote for the good-looking candidate at the very least.

Don’t get too used to the current voting system however. Reforms to the UCD Students’ Union constitution soon will change the face of voting in SU elections forever. The old paper and pen trick will become obsolete very soon as the whole system is about to go online. In the not-too-distant future, you will ‘Like’ your sabbatical officers into power through Facebook. Simply straddle your way to the respective candidates page and like them.

This is the future of politics and you can even buy the t-shirt and say “I was online when UCD Students liked <blank> into the SU”.

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Horrible Histories:

UCDSU

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Anthemic rock

The Low Anthem take time to talk to Imelda Hehir about their DIY ethos and recording in a haunted pasta sauce factory

1974 – The UCD Clique Society is formed.

Students sign up in great numbers to the society in the tent during Freshers’ Week for £2. With their membership comes a free condom, a tyre puncture repair kit and £2 concession card to d|two on Thursdays.

1975 – Genuinely stuck for anything to do with their time as the Clique Society, the group of hacks reform their mandate and change the society into a Union that aims to represent students, while also providing a stepping-stone into politics.

1981 – Six years after the formation of the Students’ Union, re-sit fees have increased ten fold and library hours have been reduced by a collective 9,000 hours over three years.

1995 – RON pulls out of the UCDSU elections with the intention of focusing on her degree.

2005 – The most successful SU President takes office after commanding a significant proportion of the mandate. James Carroll follows up his successful election campaign by being the first elected member of the SU to have his own Wikipedia page [disambiguation required].

2007 – Accommodation, Employment, Research and Development Officer position created.

2008 – Accommodation, Employment, Research and Development Officer position abolished and Louise of Fade Street fame becomes a member of UCDSU. 2008 to present – World War Fee is in full swing. The extremity of the matter is demonstrated by 2,200,000 students [Citation needed] mobilising themselves on the streets of Dublin to protest.

2014 – On the green space outside the O’Reilly Hall, Fees and UCDSU fight out their final battle in a “winner takes all reg fees” bout. You’ll just have to wait until then to see what happens.

- Killian Woods

The Low Anthem, a band not shy of covering Irish favourite ‘The Auld Triangle’

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t’s been nearly three years since The Low Anthem made their mark on the music world with their second album Oh My God, Charlie Darwin.

Such a pronounced gap between records would usually be debilitating for any young band, but The Low Anthem have been caught up in a manic touring schedule and finalising their latest album, Smart Flesh.

To mark its release, they have performed on Later... with Jools Holland as well as on Late Night with David Letterman, but while the group acknowledges these are “great opportunities,” they also want to assure that popularity and promotion is not their focus. “We were making records long before anyone gave a shit and those days could return; we’d still be making records.

It’s not a pop band. We’re more interested in craft than theatre.”

Such a philosophy only fuels the remarkably close bond between the band and their fans, by eschewing the mass media and embracing a do-it-yourself approach, they believe they are keeping themselves grounded in a righteous musical culture. “We’re not a pop band. We don’t try to maintain that ugly distance.

Our music was birthed in a true DIY scene and we just try to keep things straight forward.”

And while the group say they are not interested in “theatre”, it seems to be movies that hold their attention at the moment. They’ve even performed at the Sundance Film Festival, and when asked about the possibilities of getting involved in film work in the future, little can be said: “There is a short film in my

future, but I’m not at liberty to discuss.

“I’m not really interested in scoring unless there is a whole vision to the thing, you know? So it feels more like an album. Film music tends to be boring out of the context of film. I’m not sure what I’d be getting into.”

The background of Smart Flesh certainly could not be described as orthodox or boring. “We found this lovely haunted factory [Pasta Sauce in Rhode Island] where our friends were squatting as security guards. The owner lent us the key for five months and we lived and worked there over that time.”

Naturally, an abandoned factory didn’t have the best acoustics, but it added a unique flavour to the record that couldn’t be replicated in a normal studio. “It was very difficult to control the sounds, but we gathered some and gathered plenty of the unwanted as well: the bleed, the murk, the sauce. Much of the intimacy of the takes was re-blasted into the open space creating this strange quality of hushed hugeness.”

From the location to the actual product, Smart Flesh is a distinctive record, and has an eclectic blend of instrumentation, but as they explain, the album’s transition from their minds onto tape was a meticulous one.

“The many instruments are a matter of our obsessive process. We need to hear certain textures and frequencies so we track down the right horn to get the sound, or the stylophone or the right building – two were used on this recording. Whatever it takes to find the sound, nothing is off limits.”

As completely anal as their creative process may

sound, the band protest that it is working towards a more organic sound. “It’s not about the chance at a unique sound. The music grows and emanates naturally.”

The band is known to perform a cover of our very own Irish anthem, ‘The Auld Triangle’, so O-two asks if Irish trad is an influence on them. “Shane MacGowan’s songwriting is near the pinnacle. Van Morrison. We’ve never spent time with Irish trad, though the melodies are heart searing and ingrained in everyone.”

Alongside the unique recording locations the group have an ever-changing musical taste, when asked about the eclectic sound they provide, and how it influences the music made, the group state that their “tastes change so quickly, it’s impossible to keep up. If we went into the studio today we would probably release an Ivor Cutler-esque murder mystery saga set in the suburbs on the night of the great air-hockey fire.”

While we can’t complain, O-two can only wonder whether it is a tragedy or a blessing that they think, “by the time we get back into the studio, those impulses may have passed”.

Either way, here’s to the future of The Low Anthem and the creativity, which will ideally flow as fast and free as their imaginations. Hopefully we won’t be waiting too long for a follow up. Even the group themselves admit with the lead-up to the record’s release, they had “grown restless. Having it out is a relief.” Hadn’t we all.

The Low Anthem play Vicar Street on April 10th. Tickets are €21. Smart Flesh is out now.

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CD reviews Album of the fortnight

Artist: Young Knives Album: Ornaments from the Silver Arcade

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Artist: Bibio Album: Mind Bokeh

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Although his name may sound like that of a character from a kid’s TV show, Bibio’s wholly electronic, yet somehow genre-defying musical offerings are far from juvenile; and his sixth album, Mind Bokeh, is no exception.

It is a departure from his recent records, such as the acclaimed Ambivalence Avenue, as it heads in a far more hip-hop inspired direction as witnessed on one of the album’s stand-out tracks, ‘Anything New’.

A few pop touches are thrown in as well to lighten things up a bit – which may not go down well with his original fans. However, for O-two it all comes together in an inspiring mixtape sort of way. For those of you who enjoy a synth-twist to some laidback beats, check this out.

In a Nutshell: You don’t have to be a hipster to listen to this, but it helps.

- Sophie Lioe

Young Knives may have a reputation as the musical equivalent of Mark from Peep Show, but on their third album, Ornaments from the Silver Arcade, the Ashby-de-la-Zouch trio have branched out more than ever.

With its nifty staccato guitar and steel drums, ‘Woman’ is an ironic, lavish novelty that audaciously toys with Young Knives’ buttoneddown image. Whilst the smorgasbord of tones and styles presented by ‘Silver Tongue’ and ‘Storm Clouds’ present a brilliant digression from their usual palette.

A raft of more characteristic indie-pop songs tempers the album’s experimental moments.

Although ‘Love My Name’ and ‘Human Again’ evolve into alert and memorable tunes, ‘Vision in Rags’ numbers among a few tracks that fail to transcend generic indie disco fodder.

Ornaments from the Silver Arcade proves that while their angular, uptight stylings are growing old, Young Knives can still excel when they venture outside their template.

In a Nutshell: Not quite Super Hans, but adventurous enough to entertain.

- George Morahan Artist: The Chapman Family Album: Burn Your Town

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Burn Your Town is something of a violent assault on your eardrums the first time you listen to it.

Intense is not the word. Eerie vocals and heavy use of the glockenspiel create some semblance of suspense in opening track ‘A Certain Degree’, before a thoroughly angst-ridden punk-metal follow-up in ‘All Fall’.

The album starts to suffer a little in the middle with ‘1000 lies’ and ‘She Didn’t Know’, which just seem somewhat lacking. The penultimate track ‘Million Dollars’ is the standout on the album; Suitably dark (considering it’s about killing children) and full of rhythmic guitars and pounding drums with a slight synth overload, it would be an excellent close to the album.

Unfortunately the actual closing track, ‘Virgins (Reprise)’ just can’t follow it, resulting in a somewhat anticlimactic end.

In a Nutshell: Needs a couple of listens before it stops feeling like an attack on your senses.

- Aoife Valentine

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Horrible Histories:

UCDSU Artist: Matt & Kim Album: Sidewalks

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Exclusive: The legend of RON In her first ever exclusive interview, Killian Woods talks to RON about the SU, her political career and the smell of transparency

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Pop music used to be made to be popular: that was the point. But Brooklyn synth-pop duo Matt & Kim are a new type of independent pop musician. Whereas independent acts once made brave sounds that had no hope of cracking the mainstream, they are now just creating slightly more complex versions of Top 40 music, fetishising and improving on pop.

There’s not a lot to hate on Matt & Kim’s third album. Maybe that’s why there’s so little to like.

The songs all have the sugar-rush melodies of a pop-punk track, with all the rhythm of a hiphop track. Yet, they lack the immediacy that makes pop music so great. The lyrics are often too wordy and cerebral. The synth work, while inventive, doesn’t sit too comfortably here. Still, it’s a solid effort at creating pop that doesn’t dumb itself to down to sell, despite its flaws.

In a Nutshell: Pop for people who don’t like pop.

- Cormac Duffy

Artist: The Strokes Album: Angles

For privacy purposes, RON would still prefer for her photographic identity to remain a mystery

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Until recently, O-two had assumed that The Strokes had forever retreated to their achingly cool Manhattan apartments and become mythical creatures that would only ever be seen on T-shirts and old MTV clips. Alas, after a five-year hiatus, they have indeed returned with Angles, an album that only continues the creative decline that began with 2006’s First Impressions of Earth.

While the band’s debut album, Is This It, may have instantly cemented The Strokes’ status as indie darlings, Angles fails to add anything new or exciting to the band’s repertoire. Songs such as ‘Call Me Back’ and ‘Gratisfaction’ will leave the listener baffled as to how it all went so wrong.

While the album contains semblances of the old magic, they are difficult to find, hidden amongst obscure guitar solos and barely comprehensible lyrics. ‘Games’ is sadly one of the few reminders of the New Yorkers former brilliance.

Angles gets better with further listening. Whether this improvement warrants your time is highly doubtful.

In a nutshell: A disappointment from a onceiconic band.

-Anna Burzlaff

R

ON has been an ever-present in Students’ Union elections since the inauguration of the very first sabbatical team. Like her or loathe her, she is a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

The controversial and under-represented candidate approached O-two seeking a clique-free forum to air her views. With the agenda and questions set by the candidate, O-two’s chief election reporter, Killian Woods, quizzed the electorate’s favourite non-runner.

What’s your favourite colour?

A tough question to start off with that could land me in a libellous situation. I would have to say my favourite colour is transparency. Everything in the world should be painted transparent. It is a glowing colour that radiates confidence in a political system.

Describe your persona and character in as few words as possible I am a very forgiving and generous person. My natural mandate, which is at the centre of my existence, is to promote more candidates to enter UCDSU elections.

Even if I win, I instinctively pass up on the electorate’s call for me to take office and allow for nominations to reopen. I’m like the opposite of Michael Lowry.

Do you A.) Drink B.) Smoke C.) Take drugs?

A.) Only when I’m on drugs. B.) Only when I’m smok-

ing. C.) Only when I’m drinking.

How do you spell sabbatical?

Sabbitticcal.

What’s your opinion on re-sit fees?

Pass your exams. That’s my opinion.

What race are you most confident of winning? / What is your strategy for winning the election? (The latter question is mine as I didn’t think the former question made sense) I feel I have a good grip on the Irish white Caucasian vote. They tend to vote in hordes and I’ve always maintained that if you can sway the vote of the white Irish students, then you’ll command a significant percentage of the vote.

You are commonly misinterpreted as a male character, why is this?

Well first of all, I am not a character. I am as real as the re-sit fees that every candidate claims they will get abolished. I suppose you could say that it’s all in the name; for better or for worse, my name has been associated with Ron Burgundy and Ron Weasley. Those are two very powerful male role models that have so much testosterone they inhibit any female oestrogen. Without diverging away on a tangent, the answer is sexism.

After 35 years of failure to achieve election to UCDSU, why keep going?

Another tough question. Well there are a number of factors that keep me going. After dropping my degree in 1975, I set aside a 30-year period in my life to run for UCDSU elections. Over those 30 years, I came agonisingly close on a few occasions, but never quite made it.

In 2005 I attempted to keep my promise that I made to myself and return to my Computer Science degree only to find that modularisation had been introduced. The horizons boat had set sail and I was left behind. Some of my buddies in USI also missed the boat and like me, they are stranded in Students’ Union politics, searching for a path out.

Transparency, discuss.

One man’s transparency is another’s humiliation. The word defines my campaign as much as my campaign defines it. My middle name is transparency. I am so transparent that you can’t see me, enough said.

Clique, discuss.

To me, clique means caring. If a by-product of that caring happens to be a career as a county counsellor for Dun Laoghaire-Rathdown, then so be it. I don’t view the Union as a clique; I view it as a stairway, a stairway to a heaven of filling in potholes and running tidy towns committees.

Sum up your campaign in one sentence.

I love the smell of transparency in the morning.

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Dancing about architecture

VOTE AILBHE MCJOBSEEKER NO 1 FOR STUDENTS’ UNION PRESIDENT Vote Ailbhe McJobseeker for Students’ Union President or fuck off.

Ailbhe can’t be bought with a five-pack of Tesco Value cookies, because she’s not a gluttonous bourgeois swine.

Ailbhe is like, so random.

Ailbhe has no interests or hobbies outside of student politics. And if she did, she wouldn’t waste valuable pamphlet space trying to distract you from the real issues with irrelevant personal details.

POLITICS: DEMOCRACY DOESN’T WORK PEOPLE!!!

MOST LIKELY TO SAY: “I put the lol in student lolitics.”

LEAST LIKELY TO SAY: Anything remotely intelligent.

MOTTO: “Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.”

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Has nice hair.

Knows how to spell ‘Sabbatical Officer’.

Knows Johnny Cosgrove.

Played in UCD SuperLeague.

Wore a Welfare T-Shirt once.

Looks a bit like the nerdy kid off the ‘Please Talk’ stickers.

Knows a lot about the statistics going around.

Has lobbied the government.

Has read the Sparknotes version of Notes from Underground.

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Bradley from S Club 7 (He has now split with Jo due to creative differences).

The Coronas The Wolfe Tones Aslan (if they get time amidst their seven-year tour of B & Bs) And any other act that can only be listened to while heavily intoxicated/that was rejected for the Trinity Ball.

Well, Jonny Cosgrove has pulled it off. The 2011 UCD Ball lineup looks utterly phenomenal, and thankfully there’s not a Delorento to be seen, writes George Morahan

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Promises to investigate the feasibility of getting the Loch Ness Monster to give a talk during Women’s Week. Will investigate the feasibility of other stuff too.

Will make sure there is transparency.

Will abolish the SU clique and replace it with an L and H or Socialist clique.

Will give 110 per cent.

Will change the 24-hour study area to a 48-hour study area.

Promises to put an end to graduate unemployment.

Promises to get the finger out and actually produce a decent SU website.

Will replace Facebook with Bebo, campus-wide.

Actually do something on RAG Week.

Free massages at exam time (in SU offices).

Will ensure the other SU officers give students massages on a daily basis (except the ugly ones).

Will ensure women are treated equally within the SU and are given lots of pink, fluffy things to play with.

Will donate €100 of my wage to the Ents budget every week.

Will get Daft Punk to play the Student Bar during exam time. And ideally, will persuade them to play ‘Harder, Stronger, Better, Faster’ over and over during exams in order to help motivate students sitting the exams.

Promises to write lots of tedious press releases and a daily blog that’s literally about nothing, as well as hassling the campus newspaper editors with plenty of pointless, mind-numbing emails lol.

Will ensure that UCD gives the SU lots more money and does not believe the fact that the country is in the midst of an economic recession will hamper this plan in the slightest.

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Will establish a Heroin Addicts Awareness Day during which students will be provided with manuals to raise awareness of the dangers of heroin use.

Fight to ensure third-level fees are introduced.

Increase Students’ Union expenditure.

Increase wages for Sabbatical Officers.

Abolish Mature Students.

Make Sabbats more invisible around campus (will devote SU money into a new fund to research cloaking devices).

In order to reduce SU expenditure, I plan to cut students by at least 10 per cent.

Ensure more women are used by the SU. Promises to increase the availability of free condoms (except during Lent).

Promises to ensure greater albino representation in the SU. Will ensure all SU nurses are the sexy kind.

Promises to send as many unopened envelopes as possible.

Promises to utilize American spelling less frequently.

Promises to ensure that students have sex more often, get better exam results and stay perfectly thin, regardless of how often they eat in Café Brava.

Promises to ensure more promises are promised so that 100 per cent transparency is ensured.

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What age are you? 28 What’s your ultimate ambition? To stay in college for as long as possible.

What degree are you studying? I am about to celebrate my tenth anniversary as an Arts student.

How have you found UCD? My mammy drove me up to Dublin and headed towards Clonskeagh.

Are you running in conjunction with any other candidates? Plant de Brún.

What was your greatest achievement as Class Rep last year? Winning the Iron Stomach competition. Oh, and Hugh Brady said ‘hi’ to me once.

What’s your greatest weakness as a candidate? I’m too hot. Women won’t vote for me out of pure jealousy.

Is there anyone from the world of politics that you admire? Probably Nelson Mandela. He reminds me of me.

What will you do to ensure there is graduate employment? Lobby the government.

What if they say ‘no’? We’ll lobby them again. More politely than before.

What’s the most valuable piece of advice you’ve ever learned? “Life is a rollercoaster” – Ronan Keating.

And remember, if you were running, she’d tell you to fuck off too.

Songs to revolt to Ever wondered what soundtrack would go perfectly with that mass rally you just so happen to be planning. Adam Kearney has got all the answers ‘BORN IN THE USA’ – BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

revolution regardless of which revolution that is.

Mistaken as a patriotic, flag-waving anthem to the point that it was used in Ronald Reagan’s re-election campaign – but listening to any of the lyrics other than the chorus, it’s clear that The Boss is venting his anger over the Vietnam War.

It’s disappointing that there’s now a whole generation who only know Flava Flav as a goofy reality TV star, but Public Enemy brought rap to the mainstream with revolutionary songs such as this one.

‘FUCK THA POLICE’ – NWA Protest in the form of gangsta rap doesn’t come much finer than NWA’s seminal classic. Decrying institutional racism within the police force is surely a noble cause, however, the frequent references to killing police officers makes it a little harder to sympathise with Dr Dre and co.

‘HURRICANE’– BOB DYLAN ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’ is possibly the best known of all protest songs, but ‘Hurricane’ is just a tad more interesting. We find Dylan defending boxer Rubin Carter and claiming he was wrongly accused of murder. Looking back, it would seem Carter might just have been guilty after all, but it’s still a nice tune.

‘LET ME HOLD YOU, LITTLE MAN’ – DEWEY COX. Dewey Cox has faced a lot of criticism throughout his career, being called a carbon copy of Johnny Cash and at times Bob Dylan. Some critics have even had the nerve to call him a fictional character in a spoof biopic, but nobody can deny the work this song has done in improving the lives of short people worldwide.

‘KILLING IN THE NAME’ – RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE Whether it is corporate greed, racism or even X Factor, Rage Against the Machine have just the song to kick start the revolt. Politically charged and inflammatory, RATM are truly the sound of the

‘FIGHT THE POWER’ – PUBLIC ENEMY

‘STREET FIGHTING MAN’ – THE ROLLING STONES The Stones most political song, it’s a call for revolution in London, which was quiet at the time compared to Paris and the US references to playing the game of ‘compromise solution’ captures the unrest felt amongst those because of the Vietnam War.

‘ONE’ – METALLICA Inspired by the novel Johnny Got His Gun, this antiwar song is one of Metallica’s most popular. If the opening montage of clips hasn’t alerted you to its message, its downbeat chorus certainly will.

‘SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY’ – U2 Bono bangs on about poverty, inequality and other such pressing issues so much so that it gets hard to stomach his self-righteousness after a while. However, when he express his message in songs as good as this protest against violence in Northern Ireland, it’s worth listening to.

‘ANARCHY IN THE UK’ – SEX PISTOLS Poster boys of the punk revolution, protest doesn’t come much more rotten than the Pistols. The line ‘no future’ encapsulated the atmosphere of the time perfectly.

‘WHERE’S MY JUMPER?’ - SULTANS OF PING FC. It’s widely known that the jumper in question is a metaphor for social equality and harmony and the disco is the crazy world we live in today. So, Mr. Kenny, where is my jumper?

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s you enter the arena (congratulating yourself for fooling security with your dodgy impression of a sober person), you’ll be treated to the soothing tones and melodies of Slayer. Expect to hear such wellloved anthems as ‘Raining Blood’ and ‘Dead Skin Mask’, a perfectly pleasant way to start a sure-tobe-glorious day.

Fellow Californians, Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, will follow the thrash-metal legends.

LA’s Droog-like, much-hyped skate-rap collective will treat a D4 running track to their relatable tales of gang rape and STDs, punctuating their rhymes with homophobic slurs all over a collection of beats heavily indebted to Ariel Pink by the sounds of it.

All in all, we have a very easy-listening start to this year’s festivities.

Further up the bill, our esteemed leader has finally managed to get Girl Talk. This is a big deal.

Instead of someone playing original content, we’ll have some snot-nosed DJ laying your favourite joints to rest with a giant machete. Would you like some Metallica with your Lil Mama? No problem, Mr Girl Talk is the man for you.

As dusk falls, expect pandemonium as pop megastar Rihanna comes onstage. All the men want her and all the women want to be her and she’ll be in Belfield for one night only. She can look forward to see an 8,000 strong crowd lapping every song up, half of them will assuredly have copied whatever hairstyle she has chosen that week, scarlet.

O-two is sure campus will be aflutter with ideas for collaborations between the ‘Umbrella’ singer and the xx, who will be second headlining act for the evening. David Cameron’s favourite band just loves their RnB and will surely pounce on the opportunity to mangle ‘Islands’ with ‘Only Girl in the World’.

And finally, the big news. Cosgrove has only gone and re-formed Pink Floyd for their first performance together since Live 8. Yes, you read that correctly, Pink Floyd! Jonny’s powers of persuasion truly cannot be matched. Expect tedium aplenty as the prog legends meander through three hours of deep cuts, sobering you up in time for ‘Wish You Were Here’. Enjoy.

Oh no, hold on a sec. There has been a lastminute change as Funeral Party have been announced to replace Pink Floyd. Frankly, we should all welcome the news with open arms. A band has never been more brimming with talent, originality and charisma and they are sure to make the fifth UCD Ball a talking point for years to come *This article is a complete fabrication. Fight Like Apes will be back next fortnight (hopefully).

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Heart of Glass Glasser talks to Cormac Duffy about inventing her own instrument and the curse of Björk

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Games:

Forever delayed As the release of Duke Nukem Forever looms, Matthew Jones takes a look at what is possibly the biggest development cycle of any game, ever

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Electronic music has been a huge influence on Glasser, but an avenue unexplored

+),$-.,/0-112, 34#0/0.#05,34, 6-7348,-,/%9:, ;-45,<%/,-,, 1%48,#3=0> pelled to say it was never intentionally tribal.”

However, she admits: “I was feeling that everything I was writing was really heady and philosophical. I didn’t have much of a physical sound for much of the music, so I wanted to make the most physical, guttural sounding song I could.” Her aim was to have this balance the otherworldly sound of the rest of the album.

Despite her electronic influences, she never aspired to be an electronic act, instead approaching it from “a folk angle”. She is quick to clarify that “the only reason I used those sounds was because they were what I had access to”.

So if it happened by necessity, what was the original plan? “I was really interested in having a rock band for a long time.” She says this in a hushed tone, as if she’s admitting to an awful crime. “It just didn’t happen.

I found I was much better off when I worked on my own.”

Of course, this doesn’t mean she is a stranger to collaboration, as she unveils the story of “The AuerGlass”.

In a partnership with her friend Tuaba Auerbach, a New York visual and performance artist, the two joined the ranks of Leon Theremin and Robert Moog, and created their own instrument. The AuerGlass (get it?) is a double-sided pump organ, where one player provides the pump for the others notes, necessitating collaboration.

With her sound, her image, her willingness to engage in artistic experiments like this, she has found herself suffering from the curse that any alternative female will eventually face – the Björk comparison. “It’s hard to be compared to anyone,” she explains.

“If I’m going to be compared to anyone, she’s not a terrible person to get compared to because she’s so special. There is a reverence for her that you have to appreciate if you’re being compared to her.

It is hurtful when people say things like she should stop copying Björk. Why would you think that’s what I’m doing?”

When O-two asks her how she would like her music to be analysed, she has a simple request. “Give me a chance to be another strong female example. Give me a chance to be…” she stops mid-sentence, trying to find the words she wants. A chance to be Glasser? “Exactly,” she says with a smile.

Glasser plays the 2011 Trinity Ball on April 8th. Tickets are sold out. Ring is out now.

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ew amongst us would remember the classic Duke Nukem: 3D of 1996. For most of us, the mid-90s were a haze of chocolate and sleeping. Not much has changed in the intervening years, but at least we can recognise a good game now.

When the original was released, it was slated by critics for being full of naked women, violent killing and deliciously varied expletives, but it was loved by others for those very reasons. Duke himself is a walking parody of all the best and worst parts of 90s cinema: he’s got Schwarzenegger’s muscles, Stallone’s drawl and the sheer machismo of both combined.

After calmly slaughtering his way through armies of aliens, Duke sat back and waited for a sequel that was always being developed but never saw the light of day. It is only now, almost a decade and a half after his last outing that the demo for the new game is almost ready. The story of Duke Nukem Forever is a massive tale featuring broken promises, broken game developers and broken bank accounts.

Less than six months after the release of Duke Nukem 3D, the game was announced in mid-1997.

The game went through a large development cycle, with details of the storyline released and screenshots

t’s an embarrassing day for the Irish tourism

industry. Sitting in Crawdaddy after her soundcheck, Cameron Mesirow, aka Glasser, informs O-two that this is her first time in Ireland.

In typical fashion, she has one request: a pint of Guinness. And the bar has none.

Needless to say, she isn’t pleased. “It should be illegal.

And, I haven’t even seen one drunk person since I got here.” We’re devastating this American’s expectations of us one by one. At least she has her upcoming gig at the Trinity Ball to look forward to. Apparently, she was booked with little information about the event, other than that “there’d be a lot of drunk people there”. What else do you need to know?

The Mesirow that O-two meets comes across as strikingly different in person to the one on her debut album, Ring. Her music paints a portrait of a mysterious artist; one who fuses tribal and folk sounds with electronic drones and one whose music tiptoes along the boundary between pop and art. In person, she comes across as incredibly down to earth. There is a kind, soft spoken, uniquely American charm to her mannerisms.

Despite being pinned down as a Californian artist, she actually grew up on the East Coast, living in the more Irish than Ireland city of Boston. “It’s hard to answer when people ask where you’re from,” she explains. “Now I’m living in New York, I would always say California. But when I’m in California, I would always say I’m from the East Coast.” At least she knows she’s American. “In the States, people are so proud of being Irish, even if their family hasn’t lived there in 500 years,” she laughs.

O-two asks about spending a lot of her life in California, a state that usually looms over the musicians it produces. Has the state’s sunny, hippie vibe left an imprint on her sound? “I don’t think so, people are always telling me my music sounds like winter,” she replies.

“There are also others who say it sounds tropical. I don’t think it says anything about California other than that it’s diverse.” And her music is nothing if not diverse.

She outlines her taste as “older music, a lot of folk music, a lot of psychedelic and prog rock;” causing one to think maybe California has left its mark. O-two asks her about the tribal rhythms that permeate the album, especially on the album highlight ‘Apply’. “I feel com-

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of gameplay published. When the trailer was unveiled at E3 in 1998, the world salivated over it.

However, it was still set for delays, the developers ripping out the outdated Quake 2 engine, and replacing it with the new Unreal engine. The publishers, 3D Realms, announced only a slight delay, and hoped for a 1999 release date.

Fast forward three years later and the publishers and developers have changed. The new developers, TakeTwo Interactive, replaced the engine with one of their own and moved the release date to 2003.

The game became infamous for its overly protracted development schedule, a running joke that reignited with every new screenshot or development change. It reached the point that satirical videogame show, Zero Punctuation, dedicated a mock review for it which ended up being voted fans’ favourite despite the game not existing.

However In 2009, 3D Realms shuts its doors and 2K Games and Gearbox Software took over their role and in January 2011, they released a trailer for it. Setting a release date of May 6th 2011, the trailer pays homage to all the great 90s action movies. With brash wit and a vicious right hook, Duke Nukem is set to rock our Duke Nukem Forever was originally set to be world again…hopefully. released in the late 90s

Knowing Õkami, knowing you With the release of Õkamiden for DS, Quinton O’Reilly pays homage to the massively underrated original

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s there a game that is so radiant yet as unknown as Ōkami? Originally released for the PlayStation 2 in 2006 and later the Wii, it was a game that received rave reviews and numerous awards but suffered from poor sales and played a part in the closure of its developers, Clover Studios.

The game takes inspiration from numerous Japanese myths and folklore. It puts you in control of the sun god, Amaterasu, who takes the form of a white wolf and embarks on a quest to rid the world of darkness.

Each legend and character encountered is brought to life through its vibrant and majestic art style. Utilising a watercoloured, cel-shaded visual style, the game harbours a timeless feel that puts most games, even ones released now, to shame.

Since the game’s core is based around restoring nature to its original form, particular emphasis is based on the environments and how you interact with it. The scenes where you restore life in each area and watching nature flood each land is a both visually pleasing and breathtaking when witnessing it for the first time.

Its gameplay structure shares the most similarities with the Legend of Zelda series, which is certainly no bad thing, but its unique feature comes in the form of the celestial brush. Allowing you to perform miracles, you can pause the game to bring up a canvas to draw upon with abilities ranging from rejuvenating cherry blossom trees, slashing foes or slowing down time momentarily.

While this premise sounds like it’ll lead to numerous examples of stop-start gameplay, the simple strokes needed for each miracle means that such moments tend to be brief.

Also, combat is tight and focused with some memorable boss fights and the soundtrack consists of classical Japanese instruments and complements the mood of each area you explore.

It’s not all perfect though, sometimes it’s not immediately clear what you’re supposed to do to progress and in the Wii version, the fact that attacking requires you to swing the wiimote means that the pointer may be off screen when bringing the canvas up, moving the canvas away from where you want to draw.

So far, its sequel Ōkamiden has already been released in Japan to very positive reviews, the DS stylus being a natural fit for the game’s celestial brush function.

If you have a DS, it will be well worth investing your

Ōkami’s cel-shaded style and inspiration from Japanese folklore and legends help create an interesting and vibrant world

time in Ōkamiden, or if you have a Wii or PS2, get the original. Those who do the latter will experience a beautifully executed masterpiece.

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I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but can I really marry a man from the frozen meat aisle?

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Confused in Kilmacud Third-Year Science Good Evening ‘Confused’,

This fortnight, Fadora McSexypants deals with her favourite predicament – a woman in distress Fadora, your Highness, I write you a troubled woman. What should be a joyous celebration has cast a terrifying cloud of grey over my day and me.

Wednesday gone, I accompanied my other half to our local Tesco for the big shop. As I innocently perused the shelves, I was shocked to turn around to find himself – down on one knee, an engagement ring in one hand, a bottle of ketchup in the other. Amidst all the shock, old people and crisps, I somehow agreed to this Tesco Value proposal. This is most confusing, as until the incident, I thought he was my gay

Love is a tricky business, particularly if you’re selling wholesale. One can never anticipate what form it will take, or how it will manifest itself. For many, particularly the ugly and/or fat, true love will never truly grasp their lives by their Tesco’s Finest, and give them a ruddy good shake. From a certain perspective, I might argue that you are truly blessed that a man so adores you that he’s ready to get down in front of God and the spotty weekend floor manager, and profess his undying love.

I could argue that, but somewhat predictably, I won’t. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things, and as a woman who’s seen more partners than the combined cast of every season of Dancing With The Stars, I can say with confidence that a proposal is something that must be done correctly.

I get a lot of mail, both electronic and snail, criticising me for what people perceive as “antiquated sexual politics” or “a positively antediluvian perception of gender equality”. Well to that particular correspondent, I say ‘fuck you Germaine Greer’. I treat both genders equally unfairly, as to which the following will attest.

Men of the current generation; it’s time to get the finger out, preferably with the intention of placing it somewhere more suitable. A battered sausage after a sweaty night in ‘XXIs’ is not suf-

Mystic Mittens

Meow meow, bang bang, Mittens is more caustic than ever this fortnight

ARIES

LEO

(April 19 – May 13) Imagine your life is a box. Now take all your troubles, worries and fears and place them into the box. Basically, what I’m saying is you need to move out.

(August 11 – September 16) That new jumper doesn’t suit you at all, despite what your mum said. Create a bonfire to keep yourself warm instead.

TAURUS

VIRGO

(May 14 – June 21) They say when life gives you lemons; make lemonade. You should try sticking them up your top to make your boobs look bigger.

GEMINI

(September 17 – October 30) Your work will go unappreciated. This problem isn’t for the fortnight; it is forever. Welcome to adulthood.

LIBRA

(June 22 – July 20) This fortnight will be full of setbacks – Your favourite jeans will get bleach on them, a bird will crap on your hair and you will lose an election to a fictional character.

(October 31 – November 23) This will be a time of love for you.

Someone you haven’t met yet cares for you deeply and is watching you.

Forever watching.

CANCER

SCORPIO

(July 21 – August 10) It’s important not to procrastinate, to seize the day and...

Ugh, I’m too tired; I’ll finish your horoscope tomorrow.

(November 24 - November 29) Your aggressive nature is strong this fortnight, so be careful. Someone’s going to notice the bodies eventually.

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ficient wooing to deem you worthy of copulation.

Flowers, chocolates, even a weekend jaunt to a cosy bed and breakfast – these are all readily available, and will remind your comely lady-type that she is worth spending time on. Perhaps you yourself need reminding.

Part of the issue is lowered expectations on the part of the Y-chromosomally challenged. Girls, remember when you had expectations, even dreams about a Prince Charming who would place you on the pedestal you so richly deserve? No, of course you don’t, because since fourth year, you’ve spent most late Wednesdays getting finger-blasted behind that pedestal. What is wrong with holding out for a special someone? Hell, even an average someone would do, as long as he puts the effort in.

So there we have it, and once again, Fadora McSexypants has changed the face of modern sexual politics. Ladies, allow a gentleman to woo you, because if he’s willing to woo you in the first place, he probably won’t ‘shockingly’ turn out to be an absolute bastard four months down the line.

Gentleman put the effort in. Wear a suit, put pomade in your hair, and shine your shoes. If you can’t afford flowers, nip down to your local cemetery, where dead people are just leaving perfectly serviceable bouquets around willy-nilly. And never, ever propose to a woman in a Tescos. Try at the top of a Ferris wheel, the place where you first met, or failing that, an M&S. Love and Cuddles, Fadora McSexypants, MD, PHD, Nokia 3310.

Next week, Fadora writes a frank yet half-hearted apology to Germaine Greer.

OPHIUCHUS

(November 30 – December 17)

The essays are starting to pile up now. A day in the library will serve you well. No, no, it’s near the Arts block. That’s the bar, other side. Just... never mind.

SAGITTARIUS (December 18 – January 20)

The alignment of Venus suggest that you have improbable beliefs

CAPRICORN (January 21 – February 16) I have to say, your horoscope isn’t looking good today, but for the right incentive I could *ahem* look again...

AQUARIUS (February 17 – March 11) The Moon in Aquarius today conjuncts Pluto and sextiles Venus. I hope that makes things clearer.

PISCES (March 12 – April 18) For luck, wear flowers in your hair. Oh wait, not luck... wasps, I was thinking of wasps.

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The Pains of Being Pure at Heart frontman Kip Berman talks to Cormac Duffy about working with his idols and the importance of nostalgia

K

ip Berman has a pretty enviable life. As the lead singer of New York indie-pop maestros The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, the last few years have been a rags-to-riches story for him and his band. Their self-titled debut dragged them out of obscurity and into the unforgiving spotlight of the blogosphere. Critics and fans alike were drawn to the album’s charms when it came out in 2009.

Since then, there’s been growing audiences, tours and the chance to make their recently-released sophomore album with two of their idols.

Yet, when O-two catches up with Berman during the band’s European tour, he’s happy to just talk about the simple pleasures of music.

The tour marks the first live performance of tracks from new album, Belong. “It’s an exciting thing because a lot of these songs haven’t been played live before. To see people’s reactions and see that it’s been so positive has been heartening,” he says. However, Berman becomes more candid as the interview wears on: “It’s a sense of relief if anything, like ‘OK, this doesn’t totally suck.’”

Belong, as an album, was moulded by two great inspirations of the band. The first is their label, Slumberland Records, who not only gave all the assistance Pains needed, but have served as a mentoring presence. Established in Washington, DC in 1989, Slumberland was home to many of the band’s touchstones and indie-pop forefathers such as Black Tambourine, Velocity Girl and Stereolab and according to Berman: “The sound of that label was really what influenced a lot of the first record.”

The second is the legendary production and engineering team of Alan Moulder and Flood. The duo, who have overseen the creation of releases from Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails and U2, changed the way they approached recording. “Alan has a great sense of what rock and roll should be. He gets it on a gut level. Flood has a more intellectual approach. We’re still a stupid American rock band, but he helped us think more creatively.”

Their working relationship began with an offer from Moulder to produce, but when his schedule prevented their collaboration, he made the band another proposal. “He said: ‘Would you mind if

The band produced their album with Alan Moulder and Flood who oversaw the creation of releases from U2 and Smashing Pumpkins

Flood produced it and I mixed it?’ And I was like: ‘Mind? Are you serious?’

“We went from ‘Holy shit, we’re going to make an album with Moulder!’ to ‘Are you fucking out of your mind? Flood made some of the coolest records of all time!’” For them, it was a chance to work with personal heroes. “Those guys have worked on not just great records in the abstract sense, but records that were great to us, that we listened to growing up.”

To truly get The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, one needs to realise that they are first and foremost music fans. Not just casual listeners, but full blown fanatics who wear their influences on their sleeves. “We’re always happy to tell people what they should be listening to instead of us,” he laughs. His suggestions have sent O-Two on the hunt for supposed lost classics from Teenage Fanclub, Orange Juice and Helium

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to name a few.

The group’s tendency to preach the indie gospel is merely an acknowledgement of the bands and artists that enlightened them to music’s virtues.

“We totally learned that from Kurt Cobain,” he admits. “We’re always really eager to point people to the music that made us make music.

Everyone’s influenced by stuff. The honest thing to do is be open about it and admit it.”

What strikes a lot of people about the band is the nostalgic quality of what they do, rooted in a mix of revivalist sounds and dreamy textural touches, but would Berman agree? “I think there is a sense of nostalgia, but not in the traditional way,” he responds. “The songs are in the past, the act of looking back is where they come from.”

They’re certainly not alone. The world of independent music has been taken over by those yearning for times gone by. For Berman, nostalgia is a fundamental part of music. “I think the artists are always writing in the style of the music they were listening to when they first fell in love with music.”

It isn’t a new trend either. “We’re not the first generation to do that, look at Creation Records in the 80s. They were fetishising 60s jangle pop to such an extent that we think of 80s jangle pop.”

Berman sometimes even verges on the philosophical. “In the act of interpretation of the past, there’s something new that’s created. Elements of contemporary life seep into that sound.” So as long as this phenomenon continues, there will always be great bands making music for music lovers and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart will be one of them.

Belong is out now.

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After their stunning set supporting My Chemical Romance, The Blackout talk to Conor O’Nolan about the fans who funded their new album and hanging out with Limp Bizkit

The Blackout’s increased popularity means they have secured a coveted main stage spot for the upcoming Reading and Leeds festival

T

he Blackout have come a long way from their school days in Merthyr Tydfil. Formed by vocalist Sean Smith and guitarist Matthew Davies as a way to pass the time, the band added three more members – bassist Rhys Lewis, drummer Gareth Lawrence and a second vocalist, Gavin Butler – but the lineup was still incomplete. “We were doing that for about two or three years and then we felt sorry for James [Davies, rhythm guitarist] because he’s so ugly and we just saw him moping the streets, thought we’d give him a guitar. He still can’t play it.”

The band spent years on the road, gradually building a fan base whilst supporting larger acts such as Funeral for a Friend and Lostprophets. They eventually became subject to the fawning gaze of rock tabloid Kerrang!

– who nominated them for Best Newcomer at their annual K! Awards, following the release of the band’s debut EP, The Blackout! The Blackout! The Blackout!

They subsequently released two albums: We Are The Dynamite and The Best In Town and their success subsequently increased.

To fund their latest album, Hope, they took a somewhat novel approach. Instead of getting money from their label, they went to their fans by using the medium of pledgemusic.com, and launching “Operation Riot Squad”. In short, The Blackout offered varying packages from signed albums to offering to play at house parties in exchange for pledges of various amounts.

“It’s basically, the way the music industry is kind of fucked now I guess, and it’s a better way of mak-

ing money where both parties are happy,” explains Lawrence. “We’ve literally just opened ourselves up to our fans and said: ‘Look, if you want to do this, you can do this’.”

Such unorthodox methods proved to be an enriching experience for the band and created a tight bond with some of their lucky fans. “It’s a good thing for the community of Blackout fans because a lot of these kids have gotten together from all over the country to chip in the money so they can all [gather] together in somebody’s house and then we’ll just turn up. We’ll spend three quarters of an hour playing and then spend the rest of the time just sat around talking to people, meeting the kid’s parents and stuff. It was wicked.”

However, this more egalitarian system has not proven profitable for the group: “We literally didn’t see a penny of it. Ten per cent went to the Teenage Cancer Trust and the rest paid for our album and not a penny more was going anywhere else. A lot of people thought we were trying to get rich!”

Their financial pitfalls aside, Smith is confident of the album’s quality. “I know it’s obviously clichéd to say, but it is literally our best work yet. We’re looking forward to people hearing it. I think it’s a step up in our game.” The band managed to spend much more time writing than they ever had before and were fully prepared upon entering the studio. “For this album, we had 25 ideas and songs in various states of completion. We’ve got better at the songwriting process and making a record.”

Following their stint with My Chemical Romance on the World Contamination Tour, the band will have

no time to relax. “We have a day off, then we go to a country not far away from Ireland called Australia and we spend two weeks in Australia. This is where they send all the convicts apparently. Apparently, it’s just all thieves trying to steal musicians.

“Having been on the touring circuit for so long, The Blackout have managed to play with some of their favourite bands, including the sadly not-yet-forgotten Limp Bizkit. When Fred Durst and co came up, Davies was especially enthusiastic: “When I was 16, Limp Bizkit were the biggest band in the world. So it was like dream come true stuff. And we were like: ‘please don’t let them be dicks’. And they weren’t, they were the nicest guys. They were all incredible.”

Despite recent success, the band still has some horror stories to tell, their first show in Dublin in the Voodoo Lounge was nearly empty. Their trek brought them to Northern Ireland, and experience they were genuinely unwilling to talk about. Lawrence explains: “We played Derry, and we were setting up inside, there were 300 kids outside. They were all standing against the wall getting steamin’.” The band thought that it was going to be a great show, but in reality “15 people came in and the rest were outside throwing bricks at police cars”.

These days, the punters turn up for The Blackout rather than petty vandalism and if what O-two saw at The O2 when The Blackout supported My Chemical Romance is anything to go by, they’ll be headlining such massive arenas sometime soon.

The Blackout play The Academy on April 2nd. Tickets are €18.50. Hope is out on April 4th.

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Webwatch:

Living in a fantasy world Modern sport is a source of endless debate for fans around the world, but the creation of online ‘Fantasy Sports’ has changed the way some of us watch it, writes Ryan Mackenzie

T

oday’s sports fans don’t just want to watch games and debate the outcome amongst their mates for the sole purpose of entertainment.

They want to impose their opinions on others and demonstrate that they really can do a better job than those overpaid and dim-witted managers that consistently make the wrong decisions that wreck everyone’s buzz. Why? It’s because the miracle of the internet has given every man, woman and child an inflated sense that their opinions matter.

Knowing this, some very clever people invented ‘Online Fantasy Sports’, which have become an international sensation in recent years. These competitions give avid fans the opportunity to prove that they, in fact, do know how to run a sports team – without all of the media, fans, internal disputes and financial difficulties which, let’s face it, are only minor issues in running a team.

What’s more, these competitions are a breeding ground for social interaction. Indeed, even the most brainless and ignorant of sporting fair-weather fans can get a cheeky invite to the Friday night ‘sesh’ by merely randomly updating their team every other week. In this way fantasy sports push all the right

buttons and appeal to every demographic, making them commercial gold for the internet people who are no doubt making lots of money off the back of this gravy train.

In a way, fantasy sports are a form of gambling for those unwilling to back their predictions with actual cash. Instead they choose to put something far less valuable on the line – their dignity. The ultimate goal of a fantasy league is to earn bragging rights until the next season rolls around and an unofficial badge of honour which warns others of your superior intellect. For the losers, it’s their pride and respect which stand to be stripped from them.

Despite the lack of large financial gain and the potential humiliation that pervade fantasy competitions, the idea is ingenious. Taking the recently concluded Six Nations for example, the often tedious affairs between Italy and, well, any team they play are no longer as pointless to the neutral fan as they once were.

Due to fantasy rugby, some of the players in these dull affairs may be integral to your fantasy team. Thus, the clever people of the internet have managed to do the impossible and made watching Italian rugby bearable...

Take a peek into the past as Anna Burzlaff explores the forgotten world of WhatWasThere.com

places dating as far back as the early 19th century, WhatWasThere.com is laid out in a Google map style, where one zooms in and scrolls across a map of the world to find highlighted streets and buildings from the past.

The site describes itself as a virtual time machine and aims to create a photographic history of the world.

While WhatWasThere.com still has a long way to go, and is clearly still in its infancy, its premise is more than commendable. Images of iconic streets and buildings, mingled with less well-known landmarks, create a site in which one could easily pass an hour. Photos of O’Connell Bridge from 1960 and Harcourt Street from 1910 provide glimpse from an era long lost.

The site not only creates a nostalgic and reflective effect, but it also allows, in fact it asks for, your participation. Once you know the place and date, your old photos can become part of photographic history, and with perhaps the most straightforward registration known to the internet uploading photos is as easy as it gets.

In many ways, WhatWasThere.com has the potential to be transformed into a full-fledged hobby, easily occupying hours and days with photo rummaging and research. The site may not be the most exciting or alluring superficially, and is more than likely geared towards an older generation, however it is straightforward, simple to navigate and essentially

Considerable periods of time can be spent tweaking fantasy teams to perfection somewhat – the concept is yet to make watching cricket bearable.

The fascination with these online games forms a striking parallel with the widespread Football Manager obsession which has plagued footie fans for years. If the computer game is anything to go by, Fantasy Sports will soon be a common cause of divorce and redundancy.

Rebuilding our past How far we’ve come in the past two centuries.

Constant developments in science and technology have created a world in which each day heralds a new discovery or understanding, as we frantically attempt to catch-up with progression in an age that is manically changing and barely able to focus on the present, let alone the past.

With each discovery comes a shadowing or blurring of the past. In a society which is consistently looking towards the future, reflection upon what preceded us has become a rare occurrence. The buildings of yesterday have been torn down, erased, and in most cases forgotten.

Now, more than ever, the importance of reflection and meditation are becoming apparent. Our lack of understanding or insight into the past has proved too many times to have far from beneficial consequences.

WhatWasThere.com is a site which not only allows for some gentle nostalgia, but also invokes contemplation. Providing its viewer with a keyhole into the past through photos of particular

WhatWasThere.com amalgamates present images with old photos to give a better idea of the history of a particular area insightful.

While WhatWasThere.com appears to still be in its infancy, with much of Europe, sparsely documented, it is a site which at the very least will provide a calming break from the hustle of modern-day development.

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The Importance of Being Irish With the IFTAs just passed, Film and TV Editor Jon Hozier-Byrne examines why people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give Irish films a chance

Homegrown and homesewn The future is bright for Irish fashion and design, writes Donna Doyle

Irish films such as My Left Foot have been successful internationally, yet Irish audiences treat the majority of such films with indifference

W

T

he Irish fashion industry boasts a selection of vibrant and impressive young designers.

Within the competitive industry however, the resurrection of labels and influence of international fashion houses can stunt the growth of rising talent.

International chain stores dominate the Irish market and make it wholly difficult for new talent to emerge and thrive.

Yet unique pieces can be acquired at the same cost or cheaper than these storesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; equivalent, less unique and less inspiring version of a trend. Featured here is a showcase of some homegrown and interesting, ready-to-wear pieces that will hopefully encourage you to buy local, buy Irish and buy beautiful.

This spring will see the launch of a young designerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s showroom at Om Diva, a quirky and colourful vintage store located on Drury Street.

The space will enable young fashion graduates to manufacture and sell their designs, without the market restrictions enforced on designers working for larger companies.

Collections by Ă ine Kilbride, Tokiki and Acevedo will feature alongside other rising stars. Independent designs are also available in stores like the newly opened Beaux Bows and Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lounge. They can be acquired at markets such as The Loft in Powerscourt Shopping Centre and Designer Mart

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hatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong with Irish cinema? For a small nation, we produce some high quality feature films, and much higher quality short animations. For a remarkably small homegrown industry, we make internationally successful, widely acclaimed pictures, from My Left Foot to The Commitments. For an island with a miniscule population, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve produced three of the most gifted directors of their respective generations, in Jim Sheridan, Neil Jordan and Lenny Abrahamson. Even Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother was Irish, a fact he tried endlessly to obfuscate.

Why then does Irish cinemaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s natural audience, the Irish people, seem to ignore homegrown cinema to such a profound extent? Why is it that the likes of Once was infinitely more acclaimed in the US than it was here?

Surely it is an art of Irish concerns, made for the consumption and consideration of the Irish people?

Well, no. The vast majority of times, when we see an Irish film, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more likely to treat it with suspicion than with excitement. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re naturally wary of any Irish film that tries to deliver a message, or make a statement, or even just take itself seriously as a piece of artifice. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that, is Crushproof trying to make a statement about youth recidivism in the council estates of North Dublin? Well letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not watch that then, that sounds ghastly.â&#x20AC;?

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most peculiar is that, as an audience, we seem far more inclined to treat a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;seriousâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Irish film with any gravity if a foreign director is telling it. Why is it that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re so ready to scoff at the poignant orchestral swelling or bold characterization of Neil Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Michael Collins

as â&#x20AC;&#x153;emotionally manipulativeâ&#x20AC;?, whereas when the same devices are used by Ken Loach in The Wind That Shakes The Barley or Steve McQueen in Hunger, it is worthy of fanatical critical acclaim? Why is it, paradoxically, only ok for the English to tell our story for us?

One might argue that it comes down to the bizarre national â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;begrudgeryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that pervades us as a people. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t consider ourselves to be a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;coolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; people, or even more abstractly, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t consider homegrown cinema to be â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;authentic.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; How many of us readily scoffed when we heard Jim Sheridan would direct Get Rich Or Die Tryinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?

The Irish people have a very peculiar view of ourselves, or at the very least, we have very specific tastes when it comes to Irish people being portrayed in Irish cinema.

If you look at the major Irish films that have been massively successful since the start of the Celtic Tiger â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Intermission, In Bruges, Perrierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bounty, Adam and Paul or the genuinely brilliant Garage to name but a few â&#x20AC;&#x201C; they all have one key element in common; they represent an underclass.

Back when we all had money and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;doleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was simply a variety of banana, we looked to our national cinema to portray us as we really are, or to portray the Irish man with what we perceived to be â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;authenticityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Of course, it was absolute nonsense; we were an affluent nation of affluent people, attending an over-priced cinema and spending too much on a tiny bag of greasy popcorn.

But as a people, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like to think of ourselves that way. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like to imagine ourselves as upwardly mobile, as masters of our own destiny. No, not us Irish â&#x20AC;&#x201C; weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more the cheeky, working-class, rough and ready

wanderer types. None of your duck liver pâtĂŠ for me thanks, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a bowl of undercooked coddle and a side of Catholic repression, thank you very much.

At some point in the 2000s, we all decided we secretly wanted to be Colin Farrell, and that was all there was for it. Big budget Irish films that tried to portray modern, Celtic Tiger Ireland more realistically (like About Adam starring Kate Hudson, or Boy Eats Girl starring, tragically, Samantha Mumba) became dramatic failures at the box office, simply by virtue of the fact that we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like admitting that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wealthy, as it somehow makes us â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;inauthenticâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, like a 56-year-old Irish director making a biopic about 50 Cent.

As a direct result, the only Irish films most of us are ever likely to see will normally have Collin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson or Cillian Murphy acting all tough, yet remaining somehow loveable. Conversely, actors like Pierce Brosnan or Jonathan Rhys Meyers, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made their careers out of playing super-powerful male roles, we view as somehow Anglicised, more British than Irish.

And as such, they are not quite as dear to our mercurial hearts.

The great irony of this, of course, is the fact that Farrell and Murphy both came from very privileged backgrounds, whereas Brosnan and Rhys Meyers had two of the most difficult, poverty-stricken upbringings imaginable. Ultimately, we only like Irish films if it represents us the way we idealise ourselves, and woe betide any director that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cast Colm Meaney as a bad-mouthed hardman.

So, whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong with Irish cinema? Apparently itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the people watching it.

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Boxing Clever â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Fawlty Towers While being famed more for bringing us disco and Star Wars, Natalie Voorheis explains why the 70s gave us one of the funniest British comedies ever made

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lot of dodgy things came out of the 70s.

Geometric prints, polyester, the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;groovyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, and letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s admit it, even the James Joyce Library.

However, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t despair because that bastion of a disaster decade did give birth to something wonderful, Fawlty Towers. This classic BBC sitcom is undoubtedly the funniest thing to come out of the decade since male flares.

The inspiration for the show came during a stay with the Monty Python team at the Gleneagles Hotel in Torquay. The owner of the hotel, Donald Sinclair, captured John Cleeseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imagination after he behaved erratically towards the team; throwing a timetable at a guest who asked when the next bus to town would arrive, chucking a suitcase out a second floor window and criticising American-born Monty Python animator Terry Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s table manners for not being â&#x20AC;&#x153;British.â&#x20AC;?

Thus, the character of Basil Fawlty took shape and Fawlty Towers was born. Famously, real hotel owner Donald Sinclair moved to the States shortly after production.

The plot centres on Basil Fawlty (Cleese), the arrogant, impatient and completely ineffectual hotel owner whose cranky attitude to his guests invariably results in misfortune. Three other characters make up the bulk of the cast. Prunella Scales as Basilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s domineering wife Sybil, Connie Booth as Polly, the overworked maid and Andrew Sachs as Spanish waiter and general dogsbody, Manuel. Fawlty Towers ran for two seasons each composed of six episodes with the first being aired in 1975 and the second in 1979.

Commonly regarded as the funniest episode of the

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Each episode of Fawlty Towers revolves around Basil and his aggressive interactions with staff show, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Germansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was the sixth episode of the first season. With wife Sybil in hospital for a minor procedure, Basil runs wild though the hotel with no hand of restraint on his shoulder. Simple tasks left by Sibyl such as hanging a moose head in the lobby and conducting a fire drill become ordeals, invariably ending in the physical or verbal abuse by Basil of his long-suffering waiter.

When a group of Germans arrive to stay at the hotel, maid Pollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s innocent reminder to Basil of â&#x20AC;&#x153;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mention the warâ&#x20AC;? places it firmly in his mind, and despite his

Halfway decent

h CTN, you flirtatious scamp you. CTN can never seem to decide if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a high quality culture segment, a documentarian of college life, or a serious purveyor of drama. This week, it seems to have chosen the latter option.

After last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much lauded Belfield of Dreams, CTN have hit back with their new soap/drama, The Halfway Point. The webseries follows a group of sexually charged and thoroughly unlikeable students as they cheat on each other, text each other, and then give each other mean, longing looks as if to say â&#x20AC;&#x153;you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realise how hard everything is for meâ&#x20AC;?.

Where Belfield of Dreams tried to make a soap based on student life, The Halfway Point tries to emulate the aesthetic of The Hills or even Fade Street. Student drama is not an easy thing to do, with director Paul Duggan working as if he is against the challenges of having no budget, an amateur cast, and the difficulty of creating dramatic tension out of the mundane realities of campus life.

With this in mind, you can forget the minor problems, like bad lighting, bad sound quality and even the odd continuity error (why do you need to put your coat on to go to the toilet?). What you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forgive, however, is how seriously the whole thing takes itself. Each episode opens with what feels like an hour and a half of shots of the UCD campus, where a single establishing shot would

Sophie Wears:

best efforts, every comment he makes seems to involve it. After upsetting one guest with his constant reference to the war, Basil tries to cheer her up with a slapstick impersonation of Adolf Hitler, leaving his German guests stupefied at his abrasive cheek and wondering: â&#x20AC;&#x153;How ever did they win?â&#x20AC;?

Cleeseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excellent sense of timing and his off-the-wall, physical humour lend this series its heart. Expect to laugh so hard your sides ache and your tears run at this gem of a comedy.

Got nothing better to do this fortnight? Fadora McSexypants casts her scornful eye over the campus hit show The Halfway Point

do. The entire piece feels like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shooting for high-drama, but because of its technically low production values and occasionally bad scripting, all the dramatic tension is lost.

Every time a seventeen yearold tutor uses the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;fuckâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; more than once a sentence, every time weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re meant to feel sorry for a girl who just cheated on her boyfriend, every time earphones pop in and out of ears as if by wizardry, we are pulled away from the drama, and if thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no drama, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no story.

For any student production, a far worse crime than One of the many scenes of heart-rending drama breaking the 180-degree line during a dialogue scene, or the writing being stilted and unrealistic, is taking yourself and credit must go to Duggan and CTN for being bold too seriously. The one glaring exception to this is the enough to try it in the first place. The fact remains, howexcellent Abdulrehman Siddiqui as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Keithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, who lights up ever, that all the characters are so serious, so stilted, that the screen every time he appears, purely by virtue of the itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s difficult to warm to them, and as such, to the show much-needed levity his character brings to the show. as a whole. That said, it is a bold venture into a difficult Student drama is an extremely difficult thing to pull off, genre, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a whole lot better than Belfield of Dreams.

Sophie Wears:

t 8IJUF ESFTT CZ $IVQJ Ç&#x17D; t 4JMWFS OFDLMBDF CZ $PVSUOFZ Ç&#x17D; Available in Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lounge. at Cowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lane. Shopping for pieces here will not only benefit our economy and our fashion industry, but will enable you to achieve a far more individual and inspiring look.

A rising star within the Irish fashion industry is Ă ine Kilbride, a graduate of the reputable Grafton Academy.

Kilbride, who was DCU Young Designer of the Year in 2010, was twice a finalist in the Nokia Young Fashion Designer Awards. Her designs include blouses, shorts and skirts with intricate detail that are inspired by the idea of Modern Heartbreak, incorporating an array of materials including leather, silk and chiffon.

Tokiki, another Dublin-based fashion label was established by Carolyn Moore in 2002. Her beautiful, limited-edition, handmade pieces boast simple, feminine shapes in vibrant prints and fabrics, sourced

by Moore throughout Asia. A Tokiki concession was launched in 2006 for Topshop Studio in Dublin â&#x20AC;&#x201C; an exclusive venue used to showcase the best of Irish design.

Chupi is another young designer who has had collections featured by the high street megastore.

Inspired by her grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beautiful dresses, she aims to â&#x20AC;&#x153;make clothes to make you feel like dancingâ&#x20AC;?.

This aim is achieved as her designs include pretty dresses in bold colours, perfect for nightwear.

A surplus of talent and creativity exists on our small island, and it is budding with innovative designers.

If given the chance to thrive, they certainly make the future of the industry look bright. So, be part of it and treat your wardrobe to something new and refreshing.

Break the mould, not the bank with Irelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own.

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Visit BrĂ­d and Natalieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blog at www.craftystudents.blogspot.com

Stylist â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Donna Doyle Photographer â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Kyrstin Healy (kyrstinhealyphotography.webs.com) Models â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Aileen Johnson and Sophie Lioe

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Top Ten: Limitless potential Master trend for the Mister Sideboob Men’s fashion doesn’t have the same rate of turnover that is innately possessed by women’s trends, writes Joseph Murphy

T

here was a time when a man could be excused for a springtime wardrobe of a ‘T-shirt and jeans’ – the same winning combo that featured the summer previous, right through to winter. No longer can the unavailability of fashionable men’s clothing be an excuse however.

Shopping online has opened up a haven of choice for men. High street stores like Topman, H&M and even Penneys, and vintage outlets such as Harlequinn and Eager Beaver, stock a range of clothes capable of dragging the least fashion-conscious male into spring 2011 looking trendy and seasonal.

By day, faded brown or camel-coloured cardigans, shoes and belts remain a key trend. Sport these pieces with a pair of dark skinny jeans and a simple tee to achieve a smart but chic, casual look. Bootcut jeans and even flared cuts feature also, offering a more forgiving option than skinny cuts.

Spearheaded by Burberry, motorcycle fashion has returned to the catwalk. With a muted colour palette of predominantly black, leather jackets can be combined with last season’s military inspired pieces to create an updated look.

By night, a simple check shirt – a staple for any man’s wardrobe – and a pair of jeans make a simple but stylish

outfit. Add a tailored blazer to the mix and you’re all set.

Faded denim shirts remain a feature too. A bowler or a trilby hat offers an easy and stylish way to accessorise your outfit.

Seasonal trends are evidently influenced by the preppy styles inspired by Glee and Gossip Girl. Turned-up jeans, buttoned-up cardigans and shirts were a recurring feature on the catwalk. Predominantly pale colours and washed out whites accentuate this look, and wholly brighten up your wardrobe.

White, knee-length shorts and a simple pale or striped tee will create a preppy beach look that can be completed perfectly with a pair of brown loafers or deck shoes. However, beware of dressing in too much white if you boast an Irish complexion, for fear of looking washed-out.

Men’s fashion trends do not evolve as often as women’s might, but simple aspects of your wardrobe can be altered to ensure your outfit is up to date and stylish. Simply changing the cut of your jeans or the colour of your boots will enable any guy to look on trend – day and night. So, leave the Canterburys in the gym, the ‘Return to Pub’ Tshirts in the trash and get on board with looking great this season.

Going Gaga

10. Who Framed Roger Rabbit Jessica Rabbit Oh sure. Some you might scoff, but those animators spent many a lonely, lonely evening making that sideboob bounce like two basketballs with only a passing connection with a human body.

9. Wedding Crashers – Kitty Kat

Sure, Kitty Kat may be as old as sideboob itself, but she does provide one of the finest sideboob shots of any Vince Vaughn movie.

Motorboat those sons of bitches.

8. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sideboob – Hermione Granger

We’ve all waited so long, but the new movie gave us some sweet sweet Watson side-B. Sure, she was a smoky apparition, but Ron still ‘would’.

7. Titanic – Rose ‘Breasts’ Dewitt

Kate Winslet, long the undisputed queen of sideboob, finally bares all, thereby destroying the glorious purpose of sideboob in the first place.

Burbury motorcycle jackets are all the rage this season

6. Atonement – Keira Knightley

Lady Gaga – style icon or just style eccentric?

Mary Cody weighs up the evidence

I

Lady Gaga’s meat outfit was one of the more eye-catching garments she’s worn in her career

A rare sight in cinema, sideboob comes quick, fast and from the side, write Jon Hozier-Byrne and Killian Woods

nspiration can come in many shapes and forms.

When you consider some contemporary style icons, Alexa Chung, John Hamm and Lady Gaga may come to mind. Whilst Chung can make every woman crave a Mulberry handbag and Hamm encourages any man to suit up, Lady Gaga does not contribute to fashion in the same way, unless steak-serving suggestions are what you’re after. Gaga takes fashion somewhere else – somewhere eccentric and often insane, inaccessible to the average woman.

Whilst the art of fashion plays an integral role in Lady Gaga’s performance, she is not, in a sense, a style icon nor does she strive to be. Gaga utilises fashion and her image to create modern works of art. This is why she has become synonymous with haute-couture design; designers see her as a kindred spirit. Gaga uses her unique style to tell a story or

champion a cause but she does not inspire trends in the average woman, the way other icons do. Whilst most admire the free nature and outlandish style Gaga possesses, few would strive to recreate her looks.

One also has to question just how original her style is as similarities have been made between Gaga and those who have gone before her. Most recently, comparisons between Gaga and Madonna have surfaced since she sported the cone-shaped bra and although Madonna was often compared to others, she offered more as a style icon. Hoards of woman bleached their hair and sported leather and lace to emulate her look. Lady Gaga does not have the same effect and it is unlikely that many will follow some of the more flamboyant outfits that she’s sported in her career.

People within the industry too have questioned Lady Gaga’s contribution to the world of fashion.

One of the most eccentric icons, Grace Jones, reportedly cited the star as unoriginal in 2009. Jones turned down the opportunity to work with the singer after accusing her of blatantly stealing her style.

Lady Gaga has utilised her creativity and eccentricity to create an outlandish persona with huge success.

But often people are too quick to diagnose fashion they don’t understand as fashion forward. They hear of Gaga’s connections with Alexander McQueen for example, and believe she is a style icon in the making. However, people need to reassess what a style icon is, and then perhaps re-evaluate Lady Gaga as an artist before taking fashion into consideration.

Cooper excels to such an extent that he easily outshines De Niro Title: Limitless Director: Neil Burger Starring: Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro Release Date: Out Now

D

id you ever notice how blue Bradley Cooper’s eyes were and then feel somewhat miffed at the fact that his outings in The Hangover and The A-Team didn’t quite showcase them enough? Well, does The Illusionist director Neil Burger have the movie for you!

Limitless, a movie best described as a fusion of selfaggrandising superheroism, vaguely steampunk nootropics and a schizophrenic yet often quite balanced visual style, tells the story of Eddie Morra (Cooper). Morra is a haggard, newly single writer whose lack of motivation and concentration steer him toward depression before a chance encounter with his ex-wife’s brother (Johnny Whitworth of 3:10 to Yuma) leads him to an introduction with a prototype super drug, NZT (which itself bears a resemblance to a contact lens, creating a fairly obvious ‘perspective’ visual pun).

The drug purports to unlock one’s unused brain capacity, unleashing all subliminal knowledge into a factspouting hurricane, which Morra uses to firstly overcome his battle with writer’s block, before turning his attention to loftier ambitions. Morra soon learns of the chemical, business social side effects of his intoxication, and struggles to balance his success with his dependency. The

film, happily, often embraces the ridiculousness of these situations, adding to a welcomed subliminal cracked smile about the whole premise.

Sadly, the movie, much like Morra beneath his bravado, is fundamentally flawed, and while the concept is a very intriguing one, you are left with the impression that it itself has a wealth of untapped potential. The script is unremarkable, as is, quite sadly, the one-dimensionality of Robert De Niro’s performance as Fortune 500 business tycoon Carl Van Loon. However, Abbie Cornish shows promise as Morra’s former squeeze, as does Anna Friel as his beleaguered ex-wife.

The chief strength of this movie is undoubtedly Cooper, who towers above the supporting cast and delicately balances his addled withdrawal-induced stupor with his magnetic NZT-fuelled charisma, providing a performance which shows him to have a lot more potential than his previous filmography might lead you to expect.

Limitless is, funnily enough, quite limited in its actual impact, however it remains an entertaining ride throughout, if a tad festooned with logic and plot holes. You just can’t help leaving the cinema without feeling that the past 90 minutes should have been better executed, even with the playful third act. The glue that is Bradley Cooper’s performance, however, makes it an absorbing, if slightly misdirected watch.

In a Nutshell: A star-making performance by Cooper.

Flawed, yet solidly entertaining.

- Breffni O’Sullivan

Atonement is a classy film that shoehorns in sideboob at every possible opportunity.

Some accuse Keira Knightley of being somewhat lacking in the sideboob department, but we in O-two appreciate the subtlety of an understated du sein côté.

5. Dear John - Amanda Seyfried as Savannah

Terrible film, great side boob. Almost worth it.

4. The Little Mermaid – Ariel

For a children’s cartoon, she’s spilling out of those seashells, the nautical trollop. She does, however, settle that old debate once and for all – fishy top of fishy bottom?

3. Tomb Raider; The Legend of Lara’s Breasts – Lara Croft Angelina Jolie goes out to fulfil the fantasies of every boy who grew up in the 90s. Very rarely does a film open with a shower scene.

2. Sin City – Nancy

It was extremely difficult to pick just one classic Jessica Alba sideboob moment, but in the end, we went for the one where she’s a cowgirl. Also see; Machete, Into the Blue, Valentines Day, and anything else she’s ever done.

1. Star Wars; Return of the Jedi – Princess Leia

The list of influences in a young boy’s life reads something like this; Parents, Teachers, Princess Leia’s Gold Bikini, Everything Else. This is a scene that informed the minds of generations of young boys. It’s important we all cherish the greatest moment in all of our collective young lives.

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Title: Essential Killing Director Jerzy Skolimowski Starring: Vincent Gallo, Emmanuelle Seigner Release Date: April 1st

Title: Country Strong Director: Shana Feste Starring:Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, Leighton Meester Release Date: Out now

F

rom Kurt Cobain’s suicide to Elvis dying on the toilet, questions of fame and its price have been raised again and again since the dawn of the mega-celebrity. Is all that power and money too much? Can you have a public and personal life?

Should a girl take laxatives for weight loss? All these pressing questions and more are answered in the insipid Country Strong, Hollywood’s latest attempt at meaningful tragedy, which predictably gets tangled in mind-numbing mediocrity.

Country Strong takes the age-old monster of fame and pits it against veteran country singer Kelly Canter (Gwyneth Paltrow) as she battles with alcoholism and depression. The movie depicts Canter’s struggle to redeem herself, both personally and publicly, after she experiences an alcohol-induced miscarriage.

A crumbling marriage, fleeting affairs, and talent rivalries ensue, all to the pleasant backdrop of country music and the not-so-pleasant backdrop of Paltrow’s hideous miscasting, the actress trying desperately to re-invent herself into a pop star following her appearance on Glee.

As Paltrow’s tale of attempted redemption leads the way, several side stories emerge. Chiles Staton, played charmingly by Leighton Meester, adopts the role of the young rival as she climbs the country

music ladder, embarking on a romance with fellow musician Beau Hutton (Garrett Hedlund) along the way.

What the audience is left with is a series of underdeveloped storylines, some more promising than others, which prevent any in-depth characterisation or meaning beyond clichéd sentimentality.

Country Strong falls short in a variety of ways.

What could have been a touching and insightful examination of a marriage trapped in grief becomes instead a miss-match of stereotypes, as the doomed Canter flings destruction in the face of her permanently morose husband, played by Tim McGraw.

Aside from the shocking miscasting of Paltrow as a woman on the edge of a breakdown, the overbearing ending and message of the film is all too familiar.

For Country Strong’s third-act, love is all that matters, and the road to follow is that guided by your heart, not your career. If the movie teaches us one thing, it is that condescension will always find a space in bigbudget Hollywood melodramas.

Perhaps the most pleasant aspect of the film comes in the form of the music. Songs about cowboys and horses are certainly not on most of our iPod playlists, however be warned one might find themselves strangely allured to the husky voice of a Texan guitarist singing about their farm after watching this movie. Yet, whether a few pleasant songs merit two hours of your time is highly doubtful.

In a Nutshell: Buy the soundtrack.

- Anna Burzlaff

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Show Patrol The Eastern European Chainsaw Massacre

Paltrow’s journey of tragedy and redemption is let down by underdeveloped characters

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Essential Killing may have begun as a political thriller, but the end result is more a story of what people will do to survive in horrifically difficult circumstances. The film opens with three American soldiers patrolling the desert, before cornering a Taliban fighter (Gallo) who’s hiding in a cave.

He opens fire on them, before almost immediately being captured by the Americans.

He’s brought to a Guantanamo Bay-style camp and we witness brief but graphic torture scenes, before all those being held captive are brought to an undisclosed location, presumed to be Eastern Europe. He manages to escape when the truck they’re travelling in overturns, and flees barefoot in his orange jumpsuit; suitably subtle given the blanket of gleaming white snow coating absolutely everything. The remainder of the film follows Gallo’s character as he attempts to evade capture, and survive in the wilderness alone.

In a bid to survive, Gallo’s character murders multiple times along the way, not limited to a brutal scene with an Alsatian, another involving a chain saw, and probably the most horrific and bewildering of all, a bizarre scene involving a woman who’s breast-feeding her baby on the roadside.

While it is obviously Skolimowski’s intention to provoke some thought surrounding the necessity of these murders given the circumstances Gallo is trying to survive in, it’s quite difficult to empathise with his character. He may have begun as a tortured victim, but it all begins to feel a bit unnecessary.

It is not until the credits roll that we find out the name of Gallo’s character (Mohammed), and he does not speak once in the entire film. Gallo’s performance is excellent however.

He conveys a huge range of emotions despite the lack of dialogue, and retains the intensity necessary to make the story in any way believable.

His performance, along with very clever use of sound and camera angles (often looking through Gallo’s eyes), creates tension and tangible suspense, and the momentum never ceases throughout the film. However, leaving everything so vague makes it hard to be completely drawn in by the story, and the lack of any real narration makes the whole thing a little disconcerting and confusing more than anything else.

As the film progresses, the whole thing gets a bit stagnant.

It becomes a constant chase that goes nowhere, and despite seeming to be building up to something towards the end, what results is a complete anti-climax. All in all, the ambiguity ultimately works against it.

In a Nutshell: Thought-provoking, but ultimately a bit of a disappointment.

- Aoife Valentine

March 29th James Blake – Whelan’s – €15 March 30th Grant Hart (Husker Du) – The Workman’s club –€12 The Frames – Vicar Street – €30 Elbow – The O2 – €44.20 Roisin O – Whelan’s – €10 April 1st Dum Dum Girls – Whelan’s – €17.50 Inspirations in aid of Barretstown Feat Glen Hansard – Olympia Theatre – €30 Modfest – The Village – €49.50 April 2nd The Blackout – The Academy – €18.50 Westlife – The O2 – €54.80 The Saw Doctors – Olympia Theatre – €24 April 3rd Japanese Voyeurs – Academy 2 – €13.50 Noah and the Whale – Whelan’s – €18 April 4th McFly – The O2 – €39.20

April 5th Children of Bodom plus guests – Vicar Street – €35.50 April 6th Bowling for Soup – The Academy – €25 Bell X1 – Vicar Street – €33.60 April 7th Cloud Control – Academy 2 – €13.50 Jessie J – The Academy – €14.50 Ryan Sheridan – Whelan’s – €12 Hamell on Trial – The Sugar Club – €15 April 8th Esben and the Witch – Crawdaddy – €14 Artificial Intelligence – The Twisted Pepper – €11.80 April 9th Today is the Day – Whelan’s – €21 Portugal the Man – Academy 2 – €13.50 Brooke Fraser – The Sugar Club – €13.50 The Unthanks – Vicar Street – €25 April 10th Clare Maguire – The Sugar Club – €15 The Low Anthem – Vicar Street – €21

Gig of the Fortnight: Noah and the Whale April 3rd – Whelan’s – €18 With their latest album, Last Days on Earth, under their belt, indie-folk band Noah and the Whale will be playing both Whelan’s and the Academy this April.

They’ll be playing the collection from Last Night On Earth including the single ‘L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.’, which reached number one in the NME chart.

Their latest offering presents a more upbeat and cheerful sound in comparison to their 2009 album, The First Days of Spring, which focused more on the breakup experienced between lead singer Charlie Fink and former member Laura Marling.

With them showcasing new material since The First Days of Spring, catch them before they play Oxegen this summer.

- Laura O’Connor

MCD PRESENTS

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example FRI 18 FEB 2011-THE ACADEMY

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World of Warpaint Warpaint’s Theresa Wayman talks to George Morahan about sexism in music, the band’s countless lineup changes and life in Los Angeles

A

t a time when bands can materialise one instant and fade the next, LA’s Warpaint are a pleasantly long-winded anomaly. Having formed in 2004 on Valentine’s Day by childhood best friends Emily Kokal and Theresa Wayman (along with bassist Jenny Lee Lindberg and drummer Shannyn Sossamon), Warpaint had to weather six years of perpetual uncertainty before the release of their debut album, The Fool, in October of last year.

As the band’s lead guitarist and co-vocalist, Wayman has been a constant presence, and her faith in Warpaint is slowly being rewarded. “When we first played together as a band – me, Emily, Jen and Shannyn – in 2004, I had this feeling that this was exactly right, that this was perfect.” Their chemistry was immediately apparent,

but it’s been a tumultuous few years for the quartet.

“We’ve split up a couple of times, one time for almost a year. We’ve also had a lot of lineup changes.” Sossamon had been in and out of the band numerous times before finally deciding to focus on her acting career and her indecision took its toll on Wayman. “I was devastated when Shannyn left the first time, because the band meant the world to me.” Nevertheless the band soldiered on, having to reconfigure their songs with a drum-machine in Sossamon’s absences.

Yet stability was not ensured once Sossamon had permanently left the band; the core trio were joined by three more drummers before current member Stella Mozgawa took her place behind the drum kit. She joined only three weeks before the band started record-

ing The Fool and Wayman is convinced that the lineup is now firmly entrenched.

“When Stella first played with us, I got that feeling again,” she says. “It was like somebody wanted this project to win. The band needed to be complete and we’d either be lucky enough to find that person or not and we were lucky enough. To me that means this was supposed to happen.”

The confidence Wayman has in her band is quite astonishing, so much so that it could be perceived as delusionary. “Throughout the last few years we’ve all had jobs, but I never doubted the band. Honestly, I’ve never thought it wasn’t something that could go somewhere. If we could get across what we heard and felt, and play that music, there would be people who liked

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us.” Such persistence was clearly needed to withstand all the difficulties Warpaint have faced.

It helped that the band was built on such a rock-solid foundation as that of the friendship between Kokal and Wayman, who have been near-inseparable since meeting in their home state of Oregon at the age of eleven.

The pair spontaneously moved to Los Angeles after a brief time in New York. There they met their future bassist Lindberg, who herself had recently moved from Nevada, and the basis of Warpaint was forged. ‘Shadows’, a highlight from The Fool, recounts Wayman’s difficulty adjusting to life in LA. “It can get pretty brutal; there’s constant noise and cars everywhere and there’s always helicopters overhead searching for someone who’s on the run from the cops.

It wears on you.” An intense schedule has kept the band from home, but also ensures that they remember LA’s more positive aspects. “There’s some really great things about L.A.; the sunsets, the weather, there’s a certain smell that reminds me of when I moved there that made me so excited about life – not that I’m not any more. And the palm trees, I love palm trees.”

The prolonged delay between the band’s formation and the release of their debut EP, Exquisite Corpse, allowed them plenty of time to tinker with and develop their sound. They certainly cut a unique figure in the modern musical climate, propelling a blend of ethereal, yet assuredly experimental art rock.

&'()*+' An amalgamation of wide-ranging influences can be held partly responsible for the Warpaint sound (“I’ve always been more inspired by more electronic music and Björk. I was really inspired by her for a long time.

She was the reason I wanted to make music”) as well as for Wayman’s style of guitar playing (“I wasn’t really into riff-y, jam-y stuff. I loved Modest Mouse and the way they play guitar”).

However, they are a startlingly distinctive entity and their uniqueness has only been magnified by the long gestation period between formation and the release of their two records. A song such as ‘Warpaint’ (named after the band, not vice versa) has had time to evolve naturally, growing with the band. As a result, it became a rite of passage for all potential Warpaint drummers.

“The funny thing is we didn’t call it ‘Warpaint’ because it had been through every incarnation of Warpaint. We realised later how funny it is that that song had seen every version of Warpaint. That one was hard to figure out with [Stella], it took a little while. But that song has always been hard to pin down.”

It would be a difficult test for any prospective auditionee at nearly six minutes, almost schizophrenic in its range of speed and tone and the best crystallisation of Warpaint’s sound so far. Wayman proclaims: “I love music that travels and has a journey without restriction and yet still demands my attention. But I love the three-minute pop song as well.” But the decision to create such a lengthy song wasn’t a conscious one. “I didn’t even realise we were doing six-minute songs until the record was done and I was looking at the times of the songs,” she laughs.

The prog-like length of Warpaint tracks is a trend carried over from Exquisite Corpse standout, ‘Beetles’ – which takes on many fascinating incarnations during its seven minutes – and has only been nurtured by their label, Rough Trade, which has been home to indie deities from The Smiths to The Libertines. “That’s why Rough Trade is so amazing. They didn’t see us and think ‘this band is great and I’m gonna sign them because I know how to make them better’, that’s not their prerogative. Their perspective is more ‘I like what you’re doing, so keep doing it. We trust you.’”

The loose and freeform Warpaint aesthetic is somewhat deceptive however; each song flits from one idea to the next in quick succession, but they’re all underpinned with great intricacy and texture. Their biggest song is ‘Undertow’, which (at least musically) is probably the tamest of all their tracks to date. Lyrically however, it is probably their most emotionally direct, portraying a difficult relationship from Wayman’s past.

Its content proves appreciably hard for her to articulate. “It was coming from a personal place,” she recalls.

“I was really conflicted about a relationship I was in; I was torn about whether or not to continue in it. I was looking at what was going on with me emotionally and how I felt I had pulled someone into my world and decided I didn’t really want them, and then the pain surrounding that,” she stammers.

According to Wayman, the song, and Warpaint’s music in general, lies directly at odds with how the band interact: “Our music is where we get out a lot of those more sinister feelings, because in our daily life we’re really goofy and we laugh a lot,” she says. “[Undertow] is kind of translating one of those moments where you’re in a tough place where you don’t know what decision to make and you don’t want to hurt anybody.”

Naturally, the question of being in an all-female guitar band comes up. At best, their gender makes Warpaint stand out and gives pesky journalists, such as O-two, an angle to work with. At worst, it openly subjects the band to annoyingly patronising attitudes.

If anything, the band see it as a challenge, taking it in

stride. “The sound guys and stagehands can be like: ‘here’s an all-girl band, they’re gonna be like 60s garage rock or really mellow and moody’, but then we usually prove to them that we’re something a little more complex and different than that.”

The band clearly never intended to be such a novelty – all their drummers between Sossamon and Mozgawa were male – but Wayman feels her group are now embracing their inimitability. “I think it is bizarre that there are not more, but we’re a part of that change and it’s always nice to be a part of an obvious evolution.

,)-.%/0-%/#1#-21 345#162$1724.51 $289214331-4:1 ;%<5=1</#1>1?292.1 :%/<#2:1#-21 <4?:@1A%?25#37=1 >8921?292.1 #-%/0-#1B#1$45?8#1 5%C2#-B?01 #-4#1D%/3:10%1 5%C2$-2.2E As we chat, it becomes clear that Wayman and Warpaint are at a crossroads in their career. They’ve been touring material from The Fool for nearly a year and ideas for their follow-up are coming to fruition in their minds and in practices and soundchecks.

“I am itching to record a new album, because with learned so much about how we want our [next] album to sound. I’m excited to develop our sound more.”

Although they’ve been together for seven years already, Wayman believes the band developed a lot more in the 18 months between their EP and the album than in their fledgling years.

“I think The Fool is a more cohesive-sounding album than Exquisite Corpse; Exquisite Corpse is a little bit of this and little bit of that and it’s disjointed. As much as I love it I think we’re more cohesive songwriters now.”

They’re ready to put all they’ve learned on record, but before they do that, they have a summer of touring and festivals to negotiate, including a Dublin date in May. We’ve been told to expect smatterings of Exquisite Corpse, maybe some new gems and a full rendition of The Fool, but just who exactly is The Fool? “We all are. Everybody! Everybody in the world!” I guess the joke’s on us then.

Warpaint play Tripod on May 15th. Tickets are €1720. The Fool is out now.

&'()*+'

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World of Warpaint Warpaint’s Theresa Wayman talks to George Morahan about sexism in music, the band’s countless lineup changes and life in Los Angeles

A

t a time when bands can materialise one instant and fade the next, LA’s Warpaint are a pleasantly long-winded anomaly. Having formed in 2004 on Valentine’s Day by childhood best friends Emily Kokal and Theresa Wayman (along with bassist Jenny Lee Lindberg and drummer Shannyn Sossamon), Warpaint had to weather six years of perpetual uncertainty before the release of their debut album, The Fool, in October of last year.

As the band’s lead guitarist and co-vocalist, Wayman has been a constant presence, and her faith in Warpaint is slowly being rewarded. “When we first played together as a band – me, Emily, Jen and Shannyn – in 2004, I had this feeling that this was exactly right, that this was perfect.” Their chemistry was immediately apparent,

but it’s been a tumultuous few years for the quartet.

“We’ve split up a couple of times, one time for almost a year. We’ve also had a lot of lineup changes.” Sossamon had been in and out of the band numerous times before finally deciding to focus on her acting career and her indecision took its toll on Wayman. “I was devastated when Shannyn left the first time, because the band meant the world to me.” Nevertheless the band soldiered on, having to reconfigure their songs with a drum-machine in Sossamon’s absences.

Yet stability was not ensured once Sossamon had permanently left the band; the core trio were joined by three more drummers before current member Stella Mozgawa took her place behind the drum kit. She joined only three weeks before the band started record-

ing The Fool and Wayman is convinced that the lineup is now firmly entrenched.

“When Stella first played with us, I got that feeling again,” she says. “It was like somebody wanted this project to win. The band needed to be complete and we’d either be lucky enough to find that person or not and we were lucky enough. To me that means this was supposed to happen.”

The confidence Wayman has in her band is quite astonishing, so much so that it could be perceived as delusionary. “Throughout the last few years we’ve all had jobs, but I never doubted the band. Honestly, I’ve never thought it wasn’t something that could go somewhere. If we could get across what we heard and felt, and play that music, there would be people who liked

*+

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us.” Such persistence was clearly needed to withstand all the difficulties Warpaint have faced.

It helped that the band was built on such a rock-solid foundation as that of the friendship between Kokal and Wayman, who have been near-inseparable since meeting in their home state of Oregon at the age of eleven.

The pair spontaneously moved to Los Angeles after a brief time in New York. There they met their future bassist Lindberg, who herself had recently moved from Nevada, and the basis of Warpaint was forged. ‘Shadows’, a highlight from The Fool, recounts Wayman’s difficulty adjusting to life in LA. “It can get pretty brutal; there’s constant noise and cars everywhere and there’s always helicopters overhead searching for someone who’s on the run from the cops.

It wears on you.” An intense schedule has kept the band from home, but also ensures that they remember LA’s more positive aspects. “There’s some really great things about L.A.; the sunsets, the weather, there’s a certain smell that reminds me of when I moved there that made me so excited about life – not that I’m not any more. And the palm trees, I love palm trees.”

The prolonged delay between the band’s formation and the release of their debut EP, Exquisite Corpse, allowed them plenty of time to tinker with and develop their sound. They certainly cut a unique figure in the modern musical climate, propelling a blend of ethereal, yet assuredly experimental art rock.

&'()*+' An amalgamation of wide-ranging influences can be held partly responsible for the Warpaint sound (“I’ve always been more inspired by more electronic music and Björk. I was really inspired by her for a long time.

She was the reason I wanted to make music”) as well as for Wayman’s style of guitar playing (“I wasn’t really into riff-y, jam-y stuff. I loved Modest Mouse and the way they play guitar”).

However, they are a startlingly distinctive entity and their uniqueness has only been magnified by the long gestation period between formation and the release of their two records. A song such as ‘Warpaint’ (named after the band, not vice versa) has had time to evolve naturally, growing with the band. As a result, it became a rite of passage for all potential Warpaint drummers.

“The funny thing is we didn’t call it ‘Warpaint’ because it had been through every incarnation of Warpaint. We realised later how funny it is that that song had seen every version of Warpaint. That one was hard to figure out with [Stella], it took a little while. But that song has always been hard to pin down.”

It would be a difficult test for any prospective auditionee at nearly six minutes, almost schizophrenic in its range of speed and tone and the best crystallisation of Warpaint’s sound so far. Wayman proclaims: “I love music that travels and has a journey without restriction and yet still demands my attention. But I love the three-minute pop song as well.” But the decision to create such a lengthy song wasn’t a conscious one. “I didn’t even realise we were doing six-minute songs until the record was done and I was looking at the times of the songs,” she laughs.

The prog-like length of Warpaint tracks is a trend carried over from Exquisite Corpse standout, ‘Beetles’ – which takes on many fascinating incarnations during its seven minutes – and has only been nurtured by their label, Rough Trade, which has been home to indie deities from The Smiths to The Libertines. “That’s why Rough Trade is so amazing. They didn’t see us and think ‘this band is great and I’m gonna sign them because I know how to make them better’, that’s not their prerogative. Their perspective is more ‘I like what you’re doing, so keep doing it. We trust you.’”

The loose and freeform Warpaint aesthetic is somewhat deceptive however; each song flits from one idea to the next in quick succession, but they’re all underpinned with great intricacy and texture. Their biggest song is ‘Undertow’, which (at least musically) is probably the tamest of all their tracks to date. Lyrically however, it is probably their most emotionally direct, portraying a difficult relationship from Wayman’s past.

Its content proves appreciably hard for her to articulate. “It was coming from a personal place,” she recalls.

“I was really conflicted about a relationship I was in; I was torn about whether or not to continue in it. I was looking at what was going on with me emotionally and how I felt I had pulled someone into my world and decided I didn’t really want them, and then the pain surrounding that,” she stammers.

According to Wayman, the song, and Warpaint’s music in general, lies directly at odds with how the band interact: “Our music is where we get out a lot of those more sinister feelings, because in our daily life we’re really goofy and we laugh a lot,” she says. “[Undertow] is kind of translating one of those moments where you’re in a tough place where you don’t know what decision to make and you don’t want to hurt anybody.”

Naturally, the question of being in an all-female guitar band comes up. At best, their gender makes Warpaint stand out and gives pesky journalists, such as O-two, an angle to work with. At worst, it openly subjects the band to annoyingly patronising attitudes.

If anything, the band see it as a challenge, taking it in

stride. “The sound guys and stagehands can be like: ‘here’s an all-girl band, they’re gonna be like 60s garage rock or really mellow and moody’, but then we usually prove to them that we’re something a little more complex and different than that.”

The band clearly never intended to be such a novelty – all their drummers between Sossamon and Mozgawa were male – but Wayman feels her group are now embracing their inimitability. “I think it is bizarre that there are not more, but we’re a part of that change and it’s always nice to be a part of an obvious evolution.

,)-.%/0-%/#1#-21 345#162$1724.51 $289214331-4:1 ;%<5=1</#1>1?292.1 :%/<#2:1#-21 <4?:@1A%?25#37=1 >8921?292.1 #-%/0-#1B#1$45?8#1 5%C2#-B?01 #-4#1D%/3:10%1 5%C2$-2.2E As we chat, it becomes clear that Wayman and Warpaint are at a crossroads in their career. They’ve been touring material from The Fool for nearly a year and ideas for their follow-up are coming to fruition in their minds and in practices and soundchecks.

“I am itching to record a new album, because with learned so much about how we want our [next] album to sound. I’m excited to develop our sound more.”

Although they’ve been together for seven years already, Wayman believes the band developed a lot more in the 18 months between their EP and the album than in their fledgling years.

“I think The Fool is a more cohesive-sounding album than Exquisite Corpse; Exquisite Corpse is a little bit of this and little bit of that and it’s disjointed. As much as I love it I think we’re more cohesive songwriters now.”

They’re ready to put all they’ve learned on record, but before they do that, they have a summer of touring and festivals to negotiate, including a Dublin date in May. We’ve been told to expect smatterings of Exquisite Corpse, maybe some new gems and a full rendition of The Fool, but just who exactly is The Fool? “We all are. Everybody! Everybody in the world!” I guess the joke’s on us then.

Warpaint play Tripod on May 15th. Tickets are €1720. The Fool is out now.

&'()

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Paltrow proves paltry

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*+

The film’s star, Galla, is more renowed as a director than an actor

Title: Essential Killing Director Jerzy Skolimowski Starring: Vincent Gallo, Emmanuelle Seigner Release Date: April 1st

Title: Country Strong Director: Shana Feste Starring:Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, Leighton Meester Release Date: Out now

F

rom Kurt Cobain’s suicide to Elvis dying on the toilet, questions of fame and its price have been raised again and again since the dawn of the mega-celebrity. Is all that power and money too much? Can you have a public and personal life?

Should a girl take laxatives for weight loss? All these pressing questions and more are answered in the insipid Country Strong, Hollywood’s latest attempt at meaningful tragedy, which predictably gets tangled in mind-numbing mediocrity.

Country Strong takes the age-old monster of fame and pits it against veteran country singer Kelly Canter (Gwyneth Paltrow) as she battles with alcoholism and depression. The movie depicts Canter’s struggle to redeem herself, both personally and publicly, after she experiences an alcohol-induced miscarriage.

A crumbling marriage, fleeting affairs, and talent rivalries ensue, all to the pleasant backdrop of country music and the not-so-pleasant backdrop of Paltrow’s hideous miscasting, the actress trying desperately to re-invent herself into a pop star following her appearance on Glee.

As Paltrow’s tale of attempted redemption leads the way, several side stories emerge. Chiles Staton, played charmingly by Leighton Meester, adopts the role of the young rival as she climbs the country

music ladder, embarking on a romance with fellow musician Beau Hutton (Garrett Hedlund) along the way.

What the audience is left with is a series of underdeveloped storylines, some more promising than others, which prevent any in-depth characterisation or meaning beyond clichéd sentimentality.

Country Strong falls short in a variety of ways.

What could have been a touching and insightful examination of a marriage trapped in grief becomes instead a miss-match of stereotypes, as the doomed Canter flings destruction in the face of her permanently morose husband, played by Tim McGraw.

Aside from the shocking miscasting of Paltrow as a woman on the edge of a breakdown, the overbearing ending and message of the film is all too familiar.

For Country Strong’s third-act, love is all that matters, and the road to follow is that guided by your heart, not your career. If the movie teaches us one thing, it is that condescension will always find a space in bigbudget Hollywood melodramas.

Perhaps the most pleasant aspect of the film comes in the form of the music. Songs about cowboys and horses are certainly not on most of our iPod playlists, however be warned one might find themselves strangely allured to the husky voice of a Texan guitarist singing about their farm after watching this movie. Yet, whether a few pleasant songs merit two hours of your time is highly doubtful.

In a Nutshell: Buy the soundtrack.

- Anna Burzlaff

!"#$%&'(#!)**

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Show Patrol The Eastern European Chainsaw Massacre

Paltrow’s journey of tragedy and redemption is let down by underdeveloped characters

*+

Essential Killing may have begun as a political thriller, but the end result is more a story of what people will do to survive in horrifically difficult circumstances. The film opens with three American soldiers patrolling the desert, before cornering a Taliban fighter (Gallo) who’s hiding in a cave.

He opens fire on them, before almost immediately being captured by the Americans.

He’s brought to a Guantanamo Bay-style camp and we witness brief but graphic torture scenes, before all those being held captive are brought to an undisclosed location, presumed to be Eastern Europe. He manages to escape when the truck they’re travelling in overturns, and flees barefoot in his orange jumpsuit; suitably subtle given the blanket of gleaming white snow coating absolutely everything. The remainder of the film follows Gallo’s character as he attempts to evade capture, and survive in the wilderness alone.

In a bid to survive, Gallo’s character murders multiple times along the way, not limited to a brutal scene with an Alsatian, another involving a chain saw, and probably the most horrific and bewildering of all, a bizarre scene involving a woman who’s breast-feeding her baby on the roadside.

While it is obviously Skolimowski’s intention to provoke some thought surrounding the necessity of these murders given the circumstances Gallo is trying to survive in, it’s quite difficult to empathise with his character. He may have begun as a tortured victim, but it all begins to feel a bit unnecessary.

It is not until the credits roll that we find out the name of Gallo’s character (Mohammed), and he does not speak once in the entire film. Gallo’s performance is excellent however.

He conveys a huge range of emotions despite the lack of dialogue, and retains the intensity necessary to make the story in any way believable.

His performance, along with very clever use of sound and camera angles (often looking through Gallo’s eyes), creates tension and tangible suspense, and the momentum never ceases throughout the film. However, leaving everything so vague makes it hard to be completely drawn in by the story, and the lack of any real narration makes the whole thing a little disconcerting and confusing more than anything else.

As the film progresses, the whole thing gets a bit stagnant.

It becomes a constant chase that goes nowhere, and despite seeming to be building up to something towards the end, what results is a complete anti-climax. All in all, the ambiguity ultimately works against it.

In a Nutshell: Thought-provoking, but ultimately a bit of a disappointment.

- Aoife Valentine

March 29th James Blake – Whelan’s – €15 March 30th Grant Hart (Husker Du) – The Workman’s club –€12 The Frames – Vicar Street – €30 Elbow – The O2 – €44.20 Roisin O – Whelan’s – €10 April 1st Dum Dum Girls – Whelan’s – €17.50 Inspirations in aid of Barretstown Feat Glen Hansard – Olympia Theatre – €30 Modfest – The Village – €49.50 April 2nd The Blackout – The Academy – €18.50 Westlife – The O2 – €54.80 The Saw Doctors – Olympia Theatre – €24 April 3rd Japanese Voyeurs – Academy 2 – €13.50 Noah and the Whale – Whelan’s – €18 April 4th McFly – The O2 – €39.20

April 5th Children of Bodom plus guests – Vicar Street – €35.50 April 6th Bowling for Soup – The Academy – €25 Bell X1 – Vicar Street – €33.60 April 7th Cloud Control – Academy 2 – €13.50 Jessie J – The Academy – €14.50 Ryan Sheridan – Whelan’s – €12 Hamell on Trial – The Sugar Club – €15 April 8th Esben and the Witch – Crawdaddy – €14 Artificial Intelligence – The Twisted Pepper – €11.80 April 9th Today is the Day – Whelan’s – €21 Portugal the Man – Academy 2 – €13.50 Brooke Fraser – The Sugar Club – €13.50 The Unthanks – Vicar Street – €25 April 10th Clare Maguire – The Sugar Club – €15 The Low Anthem – Vicar Street – €21

Gig of the Fortnight: Noah and the Whale April 3rd – Whelan’s – €18 With their latest album, Last Days on Earth, under their belt, indie-folk band Noah and the Whale will be playing both Whelan’s and the Academy this April.

They’ll be playing the collection from Last Night On Earth including the single ‘L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.’, which reached number one in the NME chart.

Their latest offering presents a more upbeat and cheerful sound in comparison to their 2009 album, The First Days of Spring, which focused more on the breakup experienced between lead singer Charlie Fink and former member Laura Marling.

With them showcasing new material since The First Days of Spring, catch them before they play Oxegen this summer.

- Laura O’Connor

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Top Ten: Limitless potential Master trend for the Mister Sideboob Men’s fashion doesn’t have the same rate of turnover that is innately possessed by women’s trends, writes Joseph Murphy

T

here was a time when a man could be excused for a springtime wardrobe of a ‘T-shirt and jeans’ – the same winning combo that featured the summer previous, right through to winter. No longer can the unavailability of fashionable men’s clothing be an excuse however.

Shopping online has opened up a haven of choice for men. High street stores like Topman, H&M and even Penneys, and vintage outlets such as Harlequinn and Eager Beaver, stock a range of clothes capable of dragging the least fashion-conscious male into spring 2011 looking trendy and seasonal.

By day, faded brown or camel-coloured cardigans, shoes and belts remain a key trend. Sport these pieces with a pair of dark skinny jeans and a simple tee to achieve a smart but chic, casual look. Bootcut jeans and even flared cuts feature also, offering a more forgiving option than skinny cuts.

Spearheaded by Burberry, motorcycle fashion has returned to the catwalk. With a muted colour palette of predominantly black, leather jackets can be combined with last season’s military inspired pieces to create an updated look.

By night, a simple check shirt – a staple for any man’s wardrobe – and a pair of jeans make a simple but stylish

outfit. Add a tailored blazer to the mix and you’re all set.

Faded denim shirts remain a feature too. A bowler or a trilby hat offers an easy and stylish way to accessorise your outfit.

Seasonal trends are evidently influenced by the preppy styles inspired by Glee and Gossip Girl. Turned-up jeans, buttoned-up cardigans and shirts were a recurring feature on the catwalk. Predominantly pale colours and washed out whites accentuate this look, and wholly brighten up your wardrobe.

White, knee-length shorts and a simple pale or striped tee will create a preppy beach look that can be completed perfectly with a pair of brown loafers or deck shoes. However, beware of dressing in too much white if you boast an Irish complexion, for fear of looking washed-out.

Men’s fashion trends do not evolve as often as women’s might, but simple aspects of your wardrobe can be altered to ensure your outfit is up to date and stylish. Simply changing the cut of your jeans or the colour of your boots will enable any guy to look on trend – day and night. So, leave the Canterburys in the gym, the ‘Return to Pub’ Tshirts in the trash and get on board with looking great this season.

Going Gaga

10. Who Framed Roger Rabbit Jessica Rabbit Oh sure. Some you might scoff, but those animators spent many a lonely, lonely evening making that sideboob bounce like two basketballs with only a passing connection with a human body.

9. Wedding Crashers – Kitty Kat

Sure, Kitty Kat may be as old as sideboob itself, but she does provide one of the finest sideboob shots of any Vince Vaughn movie.

Motorboat those sons of bitches.

8. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sideboob – Hermione Granger

We’ve all waited so long, but the new movie gave us some sweet sweet Watson side-B. Sure, she was a smoky apparition, but Ron still ‘would’.

7. Titanic – Rose ‘Breasts’ Dewitt

Kate Winslet, long the undisputed queen of sideboob, finally bares all, thereby destroying the glorious purpose of sideboob in the first place.

Burbury motorcycle jackets are all the rage this season

6. Atonement – Keira Knightley

Lady Gaga – style icon or just style eccentric?

Mary Cody weighs up the evidence

I

Lady Gaga’s meat outfit was one of the more eye-catching garments she’s worn in her career

A rare sight in cinema, sideboob comes quick, fast and from the side, write Jon Hozier-Byrne and Killian Woods

nspiration can come in many shapes and forms.

When you consider some contemporary style icons, Alexa Chung, John Hamm and Lady Gaga may come to mind. Whilst Chung can make every woman crave a Mulberry handbag and Hamm encourages any man to suit up, Lady Gaga does not contribute to fashion in the same way, unless steak-serving suggestions are what you’re after. Gaga takes fashion somewhere else – somewhere eccentric and often insane, inaccessible to the average woman.

Whilst the art of fashion plays an integral role in Lady Gaga’s performance, she is not, in a sense, a style icon nor does she strive to be. Gaga utilises fashion and her image to create modern works of art. This is why she has become synonymous with haute-couture design; designers see her as a kindred spirit. Gaga uses her unique style to tell a story or

champion a cause but she does not inspire trends in the average woman, the way other icons do. Whilst most admire the free nature and outlandish style Gaga possesses, few would strive to recreate her looks.

One also has to question just how original her style is as similarities have been made between Gaga and those who have gone before her. Most recently, comparisons between Gaga and Madonna have surfaced since she sported the cone-shaped bra and although Madonna was often compared to others, she offered more as a style icon. Hoards of woman bleached their hair and sported leather and lace to emulate her look. Lady Gaga does not have the same effect and it is unlikely that many will follow some of the more flamboyant outfits that she’s sported in her career.

People within the industry too have questioned Lady Gaga’s contribution to the world of fashion.

One of the most eccentric icons, Grace Jones, reportedly cited the star as unoriginal in 2009. Jones turned down the opportunity to work with the singer after accusing her of blatantly stealing her style.

Lady Gaga has utilised her creativity and eccentricity to create an outlandish persona with huge success.

But often people are too quick to diagnose fashion they don’t understand as fashion forward. They hear of Gaga’s connections with Alexander McQueen for example, and believe she is a style icon in the making. However, people need to reassess what a style icon is, and then perhaps re-evaluate Lady Gaga as an artist before taking fashion into consideration.

Cooper excels to such an extent that he easily outshines De Niro Title: Limitless Director: Neil Burger Starring: Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro Release Date: Out Now

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id you ever notice how blue Bradley Cooper’s eyes were and then feel somewhat miffed at the fact that his outings in The Hangover and The A-Team didn’t quite showcase them enough? Well, does The Illusionist director Neil Burger have the movie for you!

Limitless, a movie best described as a fusion of selfaggrandising superheroism, vaguely steampunk nootropics and a schizophrenic yet often quite balanced visual style, tells the story of Eddie Morra (Cooper). Morra is a haggard, newly single writer whose lack of motivation and concentration steer him toward depression before a chance encounter with his ex-wife’s brother (Johnny Whitworth of 3:10 to Yuma) leads him to an introduction with a prototype super drug, NZT (which itself bears a resemblance to a contact lens, creating a fairly obvious ‘perspective’ visual pun).

The drug purports to unlock one’s unused brain capacity, unleashing all subliminal knowledge into a factspouting hurricane, which Morra uses to firstly overcome his battle with writer’s block, before turning his attention to loftier ambitions. Morra soon learns of the chemical, business social side effects of his intoxication, and struggles to balance his success with his dependency. The

film, happily, often embraces the ridiculousness of these situations, adding to a welcomed subliminal cracked smile about the whole premise.

Sadly, the movie, much like Morra beneath his bravado, is fundamentally flawed, and while the concept is a very intriguing one, you are left with the impression that it itself has a wealth of untapped potential. The script is unremarkable, as is, quite sadly, the one-dimensionality of Robert De Niro’s performance as Fortune 500 business tycoon Carl Van Loon. However, Abbie Cornish shows promise as Morra’s former squeeze, as does Anna Friel as his beleaguered ex-wife.

The chief strength of this movie is undoubtedly Cooper, who towers above the supporting cast and delicately balances his addled withdrawal-induced stupor with his magnetic NZT-fuelled charisma, providing a performance which shows him to have a lot more potential than his previous filmography might lead you to expect.

Limitless is, funnily enough, quite limited in its actual impact, however it remains an entertaining ride throughout, if a tad festooned with logic and plot holes. You just can’t help leaving the cinema without feeling that the past 90 minutes should have been better executed, even with the playful third act. The glue that is Bradley Cooper’s performance, however, makes it an absorbing, if slightly misdirected watch.

In a Nutshell: A star-making performance by Cooper.

Flawed, yet solidly entertaining.

- Breffni O’Sullivan

Atonement is a classy film that shoehorns in sideboob at every possible opportunity.

Some accuse Keira Knightley of being somewhat lacking in the sideboob department, but we in O-two appreciate the subtlety of an understated du sein côté.

5. Dear John - Amanda Seyfried as Savannah

Terrible film, great side boob. Almost worth it.

4. The Little Mermaid – Ariel

For a children’s cartoon, she’s spilling out of those seashells, the nautical trollop. She does, however, settle that old debate once and for all – fishy top of fishy bottom?

3. Tomb Raider; The Legend of Lara’s Breasts – Lara Croft Angelina Jolie goes out to fulfil the fantasies of every boy who grew up in the 90s. Very rarely does a film open with a shower scene.

2. Sin City – Nancy

It was extremely difficult to pick just one classic Jessica Alba sideboob moment, but in the end, we went for the one where she’s a cowgirl. Also see; Machete, Into the Blue, Valentines Day, and anything else she’s ever done.

1. Star Wars; Return of the Jedi – Princess Leia

The list of influences in a young boy’s life reads something like this; Parents, Teachers, Princess Leia’s Gold Bikini, Everything Else. This is a scene that informed the minds of generations of young boys. It’s important we all cherish the greatest moment in all of our collective young lives.

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Boxing Clever â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Fawlty Towers While being famed more for bringing us disco and Star Wars, Natalie Voorheis explains why the 70s gave us one of the funniest British comedies ever made

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lot of dodgy things came out of the 70s.

Geometric prints, polyester, the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;groovyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, and letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s admit it, even the James Joyce Library.

However, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t despair because that bastion of a disaster decade did give birth to something wonderful, Fawlty Towers. This classic BBC sitcom is undoubtedly the funniest thing to come out of the decade since male flares.

The inspiration for the show came during a stay with the Monty Python team at the Gleneagles Hotel in Torquay. The owner of the hotel, Donald Sinclair, captured John Cleeseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imagination after he behaved erratically towards the team; throwing a timetable at a guest who asked when the next bus to town would arrive, chucking a suitcase out a second floor window and criticising American-born Monty Python animator Terry Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s table manners for not being â&#x20AC;&#x153;British.â&#x20AC;?

Thus, the character of Basil Fawlty took shape and Fawlty Towers was born. Famously, real hotel owner Donald Sinclair moved to the States shortly after production.

The plot centres on Basil Fawlty (Cleese), the arrogant, impatient and completely ineffectual hotel owner whose cranky attitude to his guests invariably results in misfortune. Three other characters make up the bulk of the cast. Prunella Scales as Basilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s domineering wife Sybil, Connie Booth as Polly, the overworked maid and Andrew Sachs as Spanish waiter and general dogsbody, Manuel. Fawlty Towers ran for two seasons each composed of six episodes with the first being aired in 1975 and the second in 1979.

Commonly regarded as the funniest episode of the

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Each episode of Fawlty Towers revolves around Basil and his aggressive interactions with staff show, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Germansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was the sixth episode of the first season. With wife Sybil in hospital for a minor procedure, Basil runs wild though the hotel with no hand of restraint on his shoulder. Simple tasks left by Sibyl such as hanging a moose head in the lobby and conducting a fire drill become ordeals, invariably ending in the physical or verbal abuse by Basil of his long-suffering waiter.

When a group of Germans arrive to stay at the hotel, maid Pollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s innocent reminder to Basil of â&#x20AC;&#x153;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mention the warâ&#x20AC;? places it firmly in his mind, and despite his

Halfway decent

h CTN, you flirtatious scamp you. CTN can never seem to decide if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a high quality culture segment, a documentarian of college life, or a serious purveyor of drama. This week, it seems to have chosen the latter option.

After last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much lauded Belfield of Dreams, CTN have hit back with their new soap/drama, The Halfway Point. The webseries follows a group of sexually charged and thoroughly unlikeable students as they cheat on each other, text each other, and then give each other mean, longing looks as if to say â&#x20AC;&#x153;you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realise how hard everything is for meâ&#x20AC;?.

Where Belfield of Dreams tried to make a soap based on student life, The Halfway Point tries to emulate the aesthetic of The Hills or even Fade Street. Student drama is not an easy thing to do, with director Paul Duggan working as if he is against the challenges of having no budget, an amateur cast, and the difficulty of creating dramatic tension out of the mundane realities of campus life.

With this in mind, you can forget the minor problems, like bad lighting, bad sound quality and even the odd continuity error (why do you need to put your coat on to go to the toilet?). What you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forgive, however, is how seriously the whole thing takes itself. Each episode opens with what feels like an hour and a half of shots of the UCD campus, where a single establishing shot would

Sophie Wears:

best efforts, every comment he makes seems to involve it. After upsetting one guest with his constant reference to the war, Basil tries to cheer her up with a slapstick impersonation of Adolf Hitler, leaving his German guests stupefied at his abrasive cheek and wondering: â&#x20AC;&#x153;How ever did they win?â&#x20AC;?

Cleeseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excellent sense of timing and his off-the-wall, physical humour lend this series its heart. Expect to laugh so hard your sides ache and your tears run at this gem of a comedy.

Got nothing better to do this fortnight? Fadora McSexypants casts her scornful eye over the campus hit show The Halfway Point

do. The entire piece feels like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shooting for high-drama, but because of its technically low production values and occasionally bad scripting, all the dramatic tension is lost.

Every time a seventeen yearold tutor uses the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;fuckâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; more than once a sentence, every time weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re meant to feel sorry for a girl who just cheated on her boyfriend, every time earphones pop in and out of ears as if by wizardry, we are pulled away from the drama, and if thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no drama, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no story.

For any student production, a far worse crime than One of the many scenes of heart-rending drama breaking the 180-degree line during a dialogue scene, or the writing being stilted and unrealistic, is taking yourself and credit must go to Duggan and CTN for being bold too seriously. The one glaring exception to this is the enough to try it in the first place. The fact remains, howexcellent Abdulrehman Siddiqui as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Keithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, who lights up ever, that all the characters are so serious, so stilted, that the screen every time he appears, purely by virtue of the itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s difficult to warm to them, and as such, to the show much-needed levity his character brings to the show. as a whole. That said, it is a bold venture into a difficult Student drama is an extremely difficult thing to pull off, genre, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a whole lot better than Belfield of Dreams.

Sophie Wears:

t 8IJUF ESFTT CZ $IVQJ Ç&#x17D; t 4JMWFS OFDLMBDF CZ $PVSUOFZ Ç&#x17D; Available in Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lounge. at Cowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lane. Shopping for pieces here will not only benefit our economy and our fashion industry, but will enable you to achieve a far more individual and inspiring look.

A rising star within the Irish fashion industry is Ă ine Kilbride, a graduate of the reputable Grafton Academy.

Kilbride, who was DCU Young Designer of the Year in 2010, was twice a finalist in the Nokia Young Fashion Designer Awards. Her designs include blouses, shorts and skirts with intricate detail that are inspired by the idea of Modern Heartbreak, incorporating an array of materials including leather, silk and chiffon.

Tokiki, another Dublin-based fashion label was established by Carolyn Moore in 2002. Her beautiful, limited-edition, handmade pieces boast simple, feminine shapes in vibrant prints and fabrics, sourced

by Moore throughout Asia. A Tokiki concession was launched in 2006 for Topshop Studio in Dublin â&#x20AC;&#x201C; an exclusive venue used to showcase the best of Irish design.

Chupi is another young designer who has had collections featured by the high street megastore.

Inspired by her grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beautiful dresses, she aims to â&#x20AC;&#x153;make clothes to make you feel like dancingâ&#x20AC;?.

This aim is achieved as her designs include pretty dresses in bold colours, perfect for nightwear.

A surplus of talent and creativity exists on our small island, and it is budding with innovative designers.

If given the chance to thrive, they certainly make the future of the industry look bright. So, be part of it and treat your wardrobe to something new and refreshing.

Break the mould, not the bank with Irelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own.

Aileen Wears:

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by ArtySmarty (Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lounge) â&#x201A;Ź9

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Ă ine Kilbride: t 8IJUF 5 TIJSU XJUI ruffle detail â&#x201A;Ź35 t -PWF IFBSU TLJSU Ç&#x17D; Available in Om Diva.

Visit BrĂ­d and Natalieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blog at www.craftystudents.blogspot.com

Stylist â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Donna Doyle Photographer â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Kyrstin Healy (kyrstinhealyphotography.webs.com) Models â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Aileen Johnson and Sophie Lioe

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The Importance of Being Irish With the IFTAs just passed, Film and TV Editor Jon Hozier-Byrne examines why people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give Irish films a chance

Homegrown and homesewn The future is bright for Irish fashion and design, writes Donna Doyle

Irish films such as My Left Foot have been successful internationally, yet Irish audiences treat the majority of such films with indifference

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he Irish fashion industry boasts a selection of vibrant and impressive young designers.

Within the competitive industry however, the resurrection of labels and influence of international fashion houses can stunt the growth of rising talent.

International chain stores dominate the Irish market and make it wholly difficult for new talent to emerge and thrive.

Yet unique pieces can be acquired at the same cost or cheaper than these storesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; equivalent, less unique and less inspiring version of a trend. Featured here is a showcase of some homegrown and interesting, ready-to-wear pieces that will hopefully encourage you to buy local, buy Irish and buy beautiful.

This spring will see the launch of a young designerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s showroom at Om Diva, a quirky and colourful vintage store located on Drury Street.

The space will enable young fashion graduates to manufacture and sell their designs, without the market restrictions enforced on designers working for larger companies.

Collections by Ă ine Kilbride, Tokiki and Acevedo will feature alongside other rising stars. Independent designs are also available in stores like the newly opened Beaux Bows and Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lounge. They can be acquired at markets such as The Loft in Powerscourt Shopping Centre and Designer Mart

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hatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong with Irish cinema? For a small nation, we produce some high quality feature films, and much higher quality short animations. For a remarkably small homegrown industry, we make internationally successful, widely acclaimed pictures, from My Left Foot to The Commitments. For an island with a miniscule population, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve produced three of the most gifted directors of their respective generations, in Jim Sheridan, Neil Jordan and Lenny Abrahamson. Even Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother was Irish, a fact he tried endlessly to obfuscate.

Why then does Irish cinemaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s natural audience, the Irish people, seem to ignore homegrown cinema to such a profound extent? Why is it that the likes of Once was infinitely more acclaimed in the US than it was here?

Surely it is an art of Irish concerns, made for the consumption and consideration of the Irish people?

Well, no. The vast majority of times, when we see an Irish film, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more likely to treat it with suspicion than with excitement. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re naturally wary of any Irish film that tries to deliver a message, or make a statement, or even just take itself seriously as a piece of artifice. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that, is Crushproof trying to make a statement about youth recidivism in the council estates of North Dublin? Well letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not watch that then, that sounds ghastly.â&#x20AC;?

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most peculiar is that, as an audience, we seem far more inclined to treat a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;seriousâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Irish film with any gravity if a foreign director is telling it. Why is it that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re so ready to scoff at the poignant orchestral swelling or bold characterization of Neil Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Michael Collins

as â&#x20AC;&#x153;emotionally manipulativeâ&#x20AC;?, whereas when the same devices are used by Ken Loach in The Wind That Shakes The Barley or Steve McQueen in Hunger, it is worthy of fanatical critical acclaim? Why is it, paradoxically, only ok for the English to tell our story for us?

One might argue that it comes down to the bizarre national â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;begrudgeryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that pervades us as a people. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t consider ourselves to be a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;coolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; people, or even more abstractly, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t consider homegrown cinema to be â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;authentic.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; How many of us readily scoffed when we heard Jim Sheridan would direct Get Rich Or Die Tryinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?

The Irish people have a very peculiar view of ourselves, or at the very least, we have very specific tastes when it comes to Irish people being portrayed in Irish cinema.

If you look at the major Irish films that have been massively successful since the start of the Celtic Tiger â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Intermission, In Bruges, Perrierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bounty, Adam and Paul or the genuinely brilliant Garage to name but a few â&#x20AC;&#x201C; they all have one key element in common; they represent an underclass.

Back when we all had money and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;doleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was simply a variety of banana, we looked to our national cinema to portray us as we really are, or to portray the Irish man with what we perceived to be â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;authenticityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Of course, it was absolute nonsense; we were an affluent nation of affluent people, attending an over-priced cinema and spending too much on a tiny bag of greasy popcorn.

But as a people, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like to think of ourselves that way. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like to imagine ourselves as upwardly mobile, as masters of our own destiny. No, not us Irish â&#x20AC;&#x201C; weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more the cheeky, working-class, rough and ready

wanderer types. None of your duck liver pâtĂŠ for me thanks, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a bowl of undercooked coddle and a side of Catholic repression, thank you very much.

At some point in the 2000s, we all decided we secretly wanted to be Colin Farrell, and that was all there was for it. Big budget Irish films that tried to portray modern, Celtic Tiger Ireland more realistically (like About Adam starring Kate Hudson, or Boy Eats Girl starring, tragically, Samantha Mumba) became dramatic failures at the box office, simply by virtue of the fact that we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like admitting that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wealthy, as it somehow makes us â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;inauthenticâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, like a 56-year-old Irish director making a biopic about 50 Cent.

As a direct result, the only Irish films most of us are ever likely to see will normally have Collin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson or Cillian Murphy acting all tough, yet remaining somehow loveable. Conversely, actors like Pierce Brosnan or Jonathan Rhys Meyers, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made their careers out of playing super-powerful male roles, we view as somehow Anglicised, more British than Irish.

And as such, they are not quite as dear to our mercurial hearts.

The great irony of this, of course, is the fact that Farrell and Murphy both came from very privileged backgrounds, whereas Brosnan and Rhys Meyers had two of the most difficult, poverty-stricken upbringings imaginable. Ultimately, we only like Irish films if it represents us the way we idealise ourselves, and woe betide any director that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cast Colm Meaney as a bad-mouthed hardman.

So, whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong with Irish cinema? Apparently itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the people watching it.

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Back in black

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After their stunning set supporting My Chemical Romance, The Blackout talk to Conor O’Nolan about the fans who funded their new album and hanging out with Limp Bizkit

The Blackout’s increased popularity means they have secured a coveted main stage spot for the upcoming Reading and Leeds festival

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he Blackout have come a long way from their school days in Merthyr Tydfil. Formed by vocalist Sean Smith and guitarist Matthew Davies as a way to pass the time, the band added three more members – bassist Rhys Lewis, drummer Gareth Lawrence and a second vocalist, Gavin Butler – but the lineup was still incomplete. “We were doing that for about two or three years and then we felt sorry for James [Davies, rhythm guitarist] because he’s so ugly and we just saw him moping the streets, thought we’d give him a guitar. He still can’t play it.”

The band spent years on the road, gradually building a fan base whilst supporting larger acts such as Funeral for a Friend and Lostprophets. They eventually became subject to the fawning gaze of rock tabloid Kerrang!

– who nominated them for Best Newcomer at their annual K! Awards, following the release of the band’s debut EP, The Blackout! The Blackout! The Blackout!

They subsequently released two albums: We Are The Dynamite and The Best In Town and their success subsequently increased.

To fund their latest album, Hope, they took a somewhat novel approach. Instead of getting money from their label, they went to their fans by using the medium of pledgemusic.com, and launching “Operation Riot Squad”. In short, The Blackout offered varying packages from signed albums to offering to play at house parties in exchange for pledges of various amounts.

“It’s basically, the way the music industry is kind of fucked now I guess, and it’s a better way of mak-

ing money where both parties are happy,” explains Lawrence. “We’ve literally just opened ourselves up to our fans and said: ‘Look, if you want to do this, you can do this’.”

Such unorthodox methods proved to be an enriching experience for the band and created a tight bond with some of their lucky fans. “It’s a good thing for the community of Blackout fans because a lot of these kids have gotten together from all over the country to chip in the money so they can all [gather] together in somebody’s house and then we’ll just turn up. We’ll spend three quarters of an hour playing and then spend the rest of the time just sat around talking to people, meeting the kid’s parents and stuff. It was wicked.”

However, this more egalitarian system has not proven profitable for the group: “We literally didn’t see a penny of it. Ten per cent went to the Teenage Cancer Trust and the rest paid for our album and not a penny more was going anywhere else. A lot of people thought we were trying to get rich!”

Their financial pitfalls aside, Smith is confident of the album’s quality. “I know it’s obviously clichéd to say, but it is literally our best work yet. We’re looking forward to people hearing it. I think it’s a step up in our game.” The band managed to spend much more time writing than they ever had before and were fully prepared upon entering the studio. “For this album, we had 25 ideas and songs in various states of completion. We’ve got better at the songwriting process and making a record.”

Following their stint with My Chemical Romance on the World Contamination Tour, the band will have

no time to relax. “We have a day off, then we go to a country not far away from Ireland called Australia and we spend two weeks in Australia. This is where they send all the convicts apparently. Apparently, it’s just all thieves trying to steal musicians.

“Having been on the touring circuit for so long, The Blackout have managed to play with some of their favourite bands, including the sadly not-yet-forgotten Limp Bizkit. When Fred Durst and co came up, Davies was especially enthusiastic: “When I was 16, Limp Bizkit were the biggest band in the world. So it was like dream come true stuff. And we were like: ‘please don’t let them be dicks’. And they weren’t, they were the nicest guys. They were all incredible.”

Despite recent success, the band still has some horror stories to tell, their first show in Dublin in the Voodoo Lounge was nearly empty. Their trek brought them to Northern Ireland, and experience they were genuinely unwilling to talk about. Lawrence explains: “We played Derry, and we were setting up inside, there were 300 kids outside. They were all standing against the wall getting steamin’.” The band thought that it was going to be a great show, but in reality “15 people came in and the rest were outside throwing bricks at police cars”.

These days, the punters turn up for The Blackout rather than petty vandalism and if what O-two saw at The O2 when The Blackout supported My Chemical Romance is anything to go by, they’ll be headlining such massive arenas sometime soon.

The Blackout play The Academy on April 2nd. Tickets are €18.50. Hope is out on April 4th.

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Webwatch:

Living in a fantasy world Modern sport is a source of endless debate for fans around the world, but the creation of online ‘Fantasy Sports’ has changed the way some of us watch it, writes Ryan Mackenzie

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oday’s sports fans don’t just want to watch games and debate the outcome amongst their mates for the sole purpose of entertainment.

They want to impose their opinions on others and demonstrate that they really can do a better job than those overpaid and dim-witted managers that consistently make the wrong decisions that wreck everyone’s buzz. Why? It’s because the miracle of the internet has given every man, woman and child an inflated sense that their opinions matter.

Knowing this, some very clever people invented ‘Online Fantasy Sports’, which have become an international sensation in recent years. These competitions give avid fans the opportunity to prove that they, in fact, do know how to run a sports team – without all of the media, fans, internal disputes and financial difficulties which, let’s face it, are only minor issues in running a team.

What’s more, these competitions are a breeding ground for social interaction. Indeed, even the most brainless and ignorant of sporting fair-weather fans can get a cheeky invite to the Friday night ‘sesh’ by merely randomly updating their team every other week. In this way fantasy sports push all the right

buttons and appeal to every demographic, making them commercial gold for the internet people who are no doubt making lots of money off the back of this gravy train.

In a way, fantasy sports are a form of gambling for those unwilling to back their predictions with actual cash. Instead they choose to put something far less valuable on the line – their dignity. The ultimate goal of a fantasy league is to earn bragging rights until the next season rolls around and an unofficial badge of honour which warns others of your superior intellect. For the losers, it’s their pride and respect which stand to be stripped from them.

Despite the lack of large financial gain and the potential humiliation that pervade fantasy competitions, the idea is ingenious. Taking the recently concluded Six Nations for example, the often tedious affairs between Italy and, well, any team they play are no longer as pointless to the neutral fan as they once were.

Due to fantasy rugby, some of the players in these dull affairs may be integral to your fantasy team. Thus, the clever people of the internet have managed to do the impossible and made watching Italian rugby bearable...

Take a peek into the past as Anna Burzlaff explores the forgotten world of WhatWasThere.com

places dating as far back as the early 19th century, WhatWasThere.com is laid out in a Google map style, where one zooms in and scrolls across a map of the world to find highlighted streets and buildings from the past.

The site describes itself as a virtual time machine and aims to create a photographic history of the world.

While WhatWasThere.com still has a long way to go, and is clearly still in its infancy, its premise is more than commendable. Images of iconic streets and buildings, mingled with less well-known landmarks, create a site in which one could easily pass an hour. Photos of O’Connell Bridge from 1960 and Harcourt Street from 1910 provide glimpse from an era long lost.

The site not only creates a nostalgic and reflective effect, but it also allows, in fact it asks for, your participation. Once you know the place and date, your old photos can become part of photographic history, and with perhaps the most straightforward registration known to the internet uploading photos is as easy as it gets.

In many ways, WhatWasThere.com has the potential to be transformed into a full-fledged hobby, easily occupying hours and days with photo rummaging and research. The site may not be the most exciting or alluring superficially, and is more than likely geared towards an older generation, however it is straightforward, simple to navigate and essentially

Considerable periods of time can be spent tweaking fantasy teams to perfection somewhat – the concept is yet to make watching cricket bearable.

The fascination with these online games forms a striking parallel with the widespread Football Manager obsession which has plagued footie fans for years. If the computer game is anything to go by, Fantasy Sports will soon be a common cause of divorce and redundancy.

Rebuilding our past How far we’ve come in the past two centuries.

Constant developments in science and technology have created a world in which each day heralds a new discovery or understanding, as we frantically attempt to catch-up with progression in an age that is manically changing and barely able to focus on the present, let alone the past.

With each discovery comes a shadowing or blurring of the past. In a society which is consistently looking towards the future, reflection upon what preceded us has become a rare occurrence. The buildings of yesterday have been torn down, erased, and in most cases forgotten.

Now, more than ever, the importance of reflection and meditation are becoming apparent. Our lack of understanding or insight into the past has proved too many times to have far from beneficial consequences.

WhatWasThere.com is a site which not only allows for some gentle nostalgia, but also invokes contemplation. Providing its viewer with a keyhole into the past through photos of particular

WhatWasThere.com amalgamates present images with old photos to give a better idea of the history of a particular area insightful.

While WhatWasThere.com appears to still be in its infancy, with much of Europe, sparsely documented, it is a site which at the very least will provide a calming break from the hustle of modern-day development.

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I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but can I really marry a man from the frozen meat aisle?

P.S. He is not aff luent.

Confused in Kilmacud Third-Year Science Good Evening ‘Confused’,

This fortnight, Fadora McSexypants deals with her favourite predicament – a woman in distress Fadora, your Highness, I write you a troubled woman. What should be a joyous celebration has cast a terrifying cloud of grey over my day and me.

Wednesday gone, I accompanied my other half to our local Tesco for the big shop. As I innocently perused the shelves, I was shocked to turn around to find himself – down on one knee, an engagement ring in one hand, a bottle of ketchup in the other. Amidst all the shock, old people and crisps, I somehow agreed to this Tesco Value proposal. This is most confusing, as until the incident, I thought he was my gay

Love is a tricky business, particularly if you’re selling wholesale. One can never anticipate what form it will take, or how it will manifest itself. For many, particularly the ugly and/or fat, true love will never truly grasp their lives by their Tesco’s Finest, and give them a ruddy good shake. From a certain perspective, I might argue that you are truly blessed that a man so adores you that he’s ready to get down in front of God and the spotty weekend floor manager, and profess his undying love.

I could argue that, but somewhat predictably, I won’t. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things, and as a woman who’s seen more partners than the combined cast of every season of Dancing With The Stars, I can say with confidence that a proposal is something that must be done correctly.

I get a lot of mail, both electronic and snail, criticising me for what people perceive as “antiquated sexual politics” or “a positively antediluvian perception of gender equality”. Well to that particular correspondent, I say ‘fuck you Germaine Greer’. I treat both genders equally unfairly, as to which the following will attest.

Men of the current generation; it’s time to get the finger out, preferably with the intention of placing it somewhere more suitable. A battered sausage after a sweaty night in ‘XXIs’ is not suf-

Mystic Mittens

Meow meow, bang bang, Mittens is more caustic than ever this fortnight

ARIES

LEO

(April 19 – May 13) Imagine your life is a box. Now take all your troubles, worries and fears and place them into the box. Basically, what I’m saying is you need to move out.

(August 11 – September 16) That new jumper doesn’t suit you at all, despite what your mum said. Create a bonfire to keep yourself warm instead.

TAURUS

VIRGO

(May 14 – June 21) They say when life gives you lemons; make lemonade. You should try sticking them up your top to make your boobs look bigger.

GEMINI

(September 17 – October 30) Your work will go unappreciated. This problem isn’t for the fortnight; it is forever. Welcome to adulthood.

LIBRA

(June 22 – July 20) This fortnight will be full of setbacks – Your favourite jeans will get bleach on them, a bird will crap on your hair and you will lose an election to a fictional character.

(October 31 – November 23) This will be a time of love for you.

Someone you haven’t met yet cares for you deeply and is watching you.

Forever watching.

CANCER

SCORPIO

(July 21 – August 10) It’s important not to procrastinate, to seize the day and...

Ugh, I’m too tired; I’ll finish your horoscope tomorrow.

(November 24 - November 29) Your aggressive nature is strong this fortnight, so be careful. Someone’s going to notice the bodies eventually.

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ficient wooing to deem you worthy of copulation.

Flowers, chocolates, even a weekend jaunt to a cosy bed and breakfast – these are all readily available, and will remind your comely lady-type that she is worth spending time on. Perhaps you yourself need reminding.

Part of the issue is lowered expectations on the part of the Y-chromosomally challenged. Girls, remember when you had expectations, even dreams about a Prince Charming who would place you on the pedestal you so richly deserve? No, of course you don’t, because since fourth year, you’ve spent most late Wednesdays getting finger-blasted behind that pedestal. What is wrong with holding out for a special someone? Hell, even an average someone would do, as long as he puts the effort in.

So there we have it, and once again, Fadora McSexypants has changed the face of modern sexual politics. Ladies, allow a gentleman to woo you, because if he’s willing to woo you in the first place, he probably won’t ‘shockingly’ turn out to be an absolute bastard four months down the line.

Gentleman put the effort in. Wear a suit, put pomade in your hair, and shine your shoes. If you can’t afford flowers, nip down to your local cemetery, where dead people are just leaving perfectly serviceable bouquets around willy-nilly. And never, ever propose to a woman in a Tescos. Try at the top of a Ferris wheel, the place where you first met, or failing that, an M&S. Love and Cuddles, Fadora McSexypants, MD, PHD, Nokia 3310.

Next week, Fadora writes a frank yet half-hearted apology to Germaine Greer.

OPHIUCHUS

(November 30 – December 17)

The essays are starting to pile up now. A day in the library will serve you well. No, no, it’s near the Arts block. That’s the bar, other side. Just... never mind.

SAGITTARIUS (December 18 – January 20)

The alignment of Venus suggest that you have improbable beliefs

CAPRICORN (January 21 – February 16) I have to say, your horoscope isn’t looking good today, but for the right incentive I could *ahem* look again...

AQUARIUS (February 17 – March 11) The Moon in Aquarius today conjuncts Pluto and sextiles Venus. I hope that makes things clearer.

PISCES (March 12 – April 18) For luck, wear flowers in your hair. Oh wait, not luck... wasps, I was thinking of wasps.

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The Pains of Being Pure at Heart frontman Kip Berman talks to Cormac Duffy about working with his idols and the importance of nostalgia

K

ip Berman has a pretty enviable life. As the lead singer of New York indie-pop maestros The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, the last few years have been a rags-to-riches story for him and his band. Their self-titled debut dragged them out of obscurity and into the unforgiving spotlight of the blogosphere. Critics and fans alike were drawn to the album’s charms when it came out in 2009.

Since then, there’s been growing audiences, tours and the chance to make their recently-released sophomore album with two of their idols.

Yet, when O-two catches up with Berman during the band’s European tour, he’s happy to just talk about the simple pleasures of music.

The tour marks the first live performance of tracks from new album, Belong. “It’s an exciting thing because a lot of these songs haven’t been played live before. To see people’s reactions and see that it’s been so positive has been heartening,” he says. However, Berman becomes more candid as the interview wears on: “It’s a sense of relief if anything, like ‘OK, this doesn’t totally suck.’”

Belong, as an album, was moulded by two great inspirations of the band. The first is their label, Slumberland Records, who not only gave all the assistance Pains needed, but have served as a mentoring presence. Established in Washington, DC in 1989, Slumberland was home to many of the band’s touchstones and indie-pop forefathers such as Black Tambourine, Velocity Girl and Stereolab and according to Berman: “The sound of that label was really what influenced a lot of the first record.”

The second is the legendary production and engineering team of Alan Moulder and Flood. The duo, who have overseen the creation of releases from Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails and U2, changed the way they approached recording. “Alan has a great sense of what rock and roll should be. He gets it on a gut level. Flood has a more intellectual approach. We’re still a stupid American rock band, but he helped us think more creatively.”

Their working relationship began with an offer from Moulder to produce, but when his schedule prevented their collaboration, he made the band another proposal. “He said: ‘Would you mind if

The band produced their album with Alan Moulder and Flood who oversaw the creation of releases from U2 and Smashing Pumpkins

Flood produced it and I mixed it?’ And I was like: ‘Mind? Are you serious?’

“We went from ‘Holy shit, we’re going to make an album with Moulder!’ to ‘Are you fucking out of your mind? Flood made some of the coolest records of all time!’” For them, it was a chance to work with personal heroes. “Those guys have worked on not just great records in the abstract sense, but records that were great to us, that we listened to growing up.”

To truly get The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, one needs to realise that they are first and foremost music fans. Not just casual listeners, but full blown fanatics who wear their influences on their sleeves. “We’re always happy to tell people what they should be listening to instead of us,” he laughs. His suggestions have sent O-Two on the hunt for supposed lost classics from Teenage Fanclub, Orange Juice and Helium

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to name a few.

The group’s tendency to preach the indie gospel is merely an acknowledgement of the bands and artists that enlightened them to music’s virtues.

“We totally learned that from Kurt Cobain,” he admits. “We’re always really eager to point people to the music that made us make music.

Everyone’s influenced by stuff. The honest thing to do is be open about it and admit it.”

What strikes a lot of people about the band is the nostalgic quality of what they do, rooted in a mix of revivalist sounds and dreamy textural touches, but would Berman agree? “I think there is a sense of nostalgia, but not in the traditional way,” he responds. “The songs are in the past, the act of looking back is where they come from.”

They’re certainly not alone. The world of independent music has been taken over by those yearning for times gone by. For Berman, nostalgia is a fundamental part of music. “I think the artists are always writing in the style of the music they were listening to when they first fell in love with music.”

It isn’t a new trend either. “We’re not the first generation to do that, look at Creation Records in the 80s. They were fetishising 60s jangle pop to such an extent that we think of 80s jangle pop.”

Berman sometimes even verges on the philosophical. “In the act of interpretation of the past, there’s something new that’s created. Elements of contemporary life seep into that sound.” So as long as this phenomenon continues, there will always be great bands making music for music lovers and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart will be one of them.

Belong is out now.

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Heart of Glass Glasser talks to Cormac Duffy about inventing her own instrument and the curse of Björk

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Games:

Forever delayed As the release of Duke Nukem Forever looms, Matthew Jones takes a look at what is possibly the biggest development cycle of any game, ever

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Electronic music has been a huge influence on Glasser, but an avenue unexplored

+),$-.,/0-112, 34#0/0.#05,34, 6-7348,-,/%9:, ;-45,<%/,-,, 1%48,#3=0> pelled to say it was never intentionally tribal.”

However, she admits: “I was feeling that everything I was writing was really heady and philosophical. I didn’t have much of a physical sound for much of the music, so I wanted to make the most physical, guttural sounding song I could.” Her aim was to have this balance the otherworldly sound of the rest of the album.

Despite her electronic influences, she never aspired to be an electronic act, instead approaching it from “a folk angle”. She is quick to clarify that “the only reason I used those sounds was because they were what I had access to”.

So if it happened by necessity, what was the original plan? “I was really interested in having a rock band for a long time.” She says this in a hushed tone, as if she’s admitting to an awful crime. “It just didn’t happen.

I found I was much better off when I worked on my own.”

Of course, this doesn’t mean she is a stranger to collaboration, as she unveils the story of “The AuerGlass”.

In a partnership with her friend Tuaba Auerbach, a New York visual and performance artist, the two joined the ranks of Leon Theremin and Robert Moog, and created their own instrument. The AuerGlass (get it?) is a double-sided pump organ, where one player provides the pump for the others notes, necessitating collaboration.

With her sound, her image, her willingness to engage in artistic experiments like this, she has found herself suffering from the curse that any alternative female will eventually face – the Björk comparison. “It’s hard to be compared to anyone,” she explains.

“If I’m going to be compared to anyone, she’s not a terrible person to get compared to because she’s so special. There is a reverence for her that you have to appreciate if you’re being compared to her.

It is hurtful when people say things like she should stop copying Björk. Why would you think that’s what I’m doing?”

When O-two asks her how she would like her music to be analysed, she has a simple request. “Give me a chance to be another strong female example. Give me a chance to be…” she stops mid-sentence, trying to find the words she wants. A chance to be Glasser? “Exactly,” she says with a smile.

Glasser plays the 2011 Trinity Ball on April 8th. Tickets are sold out. Ring is out now.

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ew amongst us would remember the classic Duke Nukem: 3D of 1996. For most of us, the mid-90s were a haze of chocolate and sleeping. Not much has changed in the intervening years, but at least we can recognise a good game now.

When the original was released, it was slated by critics for being full of naked women, violent killing and deliciously varied expletives, but it was loved by others for those very reasons. Duke himself is a walking parody of all the best and worst parts of 90s cinema: he’s got Schwarzenegger’s muscles, Stallone’s drawl and the sheer machismo of both combined.

After calmly slaughtering his way through armies of aliens, Duke sat back and waited for a sequel that was always being developed but never saw the light of day. It is only now, almost a decade and a half after his last outing that the demo for the new game is almost ready. The story of Duke Nukem Forever is a massive tale featuring broken promises, broken game developers and broken bank accounts.

Less than six months after the release of Duke Nukem 3D, the game was announced in mid-1997.

The game went through a large development cycle, with details of the storyline released and screenshots

t’s an embarrassing day for the Irish tourism

industry. Sitting in Crawdaddy after her soundcheck, Cameron Mesirow, aka Glasser, informs O-two that this is her first time in Ireland.

In typical fashion, she has one request: a pint of Guinness. And the bar has none.

Needless to say, she isn’t pleased. “It should be illegal.

And, I haven’t even seen one drunk person since I got here.” We’re devastating this American’s expectations of us one by one. At least she has her upcoming gig at the Trinity Ball to look forward to. Apparently, she was booked with little information about the event, other than that “there’d be a lot of drunk people there”. What else do you need to know?

The Mesirow that O-two meets comes across as strikingly different in person to the one on her debut album, Ring. Her music paints a portrait of a mysterious artist; one who fuses tribal and folk sounds with electronic drones and one whose music tiptoes along the boundary between pop and art. In person, she comes across as incredibly down to earth. There is a kind, soft spoken, uniquely American charm to her mannerisms.

Despite being pinned down as a Californian artist, she actually grew up on the East Coast, living in the more Irish than Ireland city of Boston. “It’s hard to answer when people ask where you’re from,” she explains. “Now I’m living in New York, I would always say California. But when I’m in California, I would always say I’m from the East Coast.” At least she knows she’s American. “In the States, people are so proud of being Irish, even if their family hasn’t lived there in 500 years,” she laughs.

O-two asks about spending a lot of her life in California, a state that usually looms over the musicians it produces. Has the state’s sunny, hippie vibe left an imprint on her sound? “I don’t think so, people are always telling me my music sounds like winter,” she replies.

“There are also others who say it sounds tropical. I don’t think it says anything about California other than that it’s diverse.” And her music is nothing if not diverse.

She outlines her taste as “older music, a lot of folk music, a lot of psychedelic and prog rock;” causing one to think maybe California has left its mark. O-two asks her about the tribal rhythms that permeate the album, especially on the album highlight ‘Apply’. “I feel com-

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of gameplay published. When the trailer was unveiled at E3 in 1998, the world salivated over it.

However, it was still set for delays, the developers ripping out the outdated Quake 2 engine, and replacing it with the new Unreal engine. The publishers, 3D Realms, announced only a slight delay, and hoped for a 1999 release date.

Fast forward three years later and the publishers and developers have changed. The new developers, TakeTwo Interactive, replaced the engine with one of their own and moved the release date to 2003.

The game became infamous for its overly protracted development schedule, a running joke that reignited with every new screenshot or development change. It reached the point that satirical videogame show, Zero Punctuation, dedicated a mock review for it which ended up being voted fans’ favourite despite the game not existing.

However In 2009, 3D Realms shuts its doors and 2K Games and Gearbox Software took over their role and in January 2011, they released a trailer for it. Setting a release date of May 6th 2011, the trailer pays homage to all the great 90s action movies. With brash wit and a vicious right hook, Duke Nukem is set to rock our Duke Nukem Forever was originally set to be world again…hopefully. released in the late 90s

Knowing Õkami, knowing you With the release of Õkamiden for DS, Quinton O’Reilly pays homage to the massively underrated original

I

s there a game that is so radiant yet as unknown as Ōkami? Originally released for the PlayStation 2 in 2006 and later the Wii, it was a game that received rave reviews and numerous awards but suffered from poor sales and played a part in the closure of its developers, Clover Studios.

The game takes inspiration from numerous Japanese myths and folklore. It puts you in control of the sun god, Amaterasu, who takes the form of a white wolf and embarks on a quest to rid the world of darkness.

Each legend and character encountered is brought to life through its vibrant and majestic art style. Utilising a watercoloured, cel-shaded visual style, the game harbours a timeless feel that puts most games, even ones released now, to shame.

Since the game’s core is based around restoring nature to its original form, particular emphasis is based on the environments and how you interact with it. The scenes where you restore life in each area and watching nature flood each land is a both visually pleasing and breathtaking when witnessing it for the first time.

Its gameplay structure shares the most similarities with the Legend of Zelda series, which is certainly no bad thing, but its unique feature comes in the form of the celestial brush. Allowing you to perform miracles, you can pause the game to bring up a canvas to draw upon with abilities ranging from rejuvenating cherry blossom trees, slashing foes or slowing down time momentarily.

While this premise sounds like it’ll lead to numerous examples of stop-start gameplay, the simple strokes needed for each miracle means that such moments tend to be brief.

Also, combat is tight and focused with some memorable boss fights and the soundtrack consists of classical Japanese instruments and complements the mood of each area you explore.

It’s not all perfect though, sometimes it’s not immediately clear what you’re supposed to do to progress and in the Wii version, the fact that attacking requires you to swing the wiimote means that the pointer may be off screen when bringing the canvas up, moving the canvas away from where you want to draw.

So far, its sequel Ōkamiden has already been released in Japan to very positive reviews, the DS stylus being a natural fit for the game’s celestial brush function.

If you have a DS, it will be well worth investing your

Ōkami’s cel-shaded style and inspiration from Japanese folklore and legends help create an interesting and vibrant world

time in Ōkamiden, or if you have a Wii or PS2, get the original. Those who do the latter will experience a beautifully executed masterpiece.

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Dancing about architecture

VOTE AILBHE MCJOBSEEKER NO 1 FOR STUDENTS’ UNION PRESIDENT Vote Ailbhe McJobseeker for Students’ Union President or fuck off.

Ailbhe can’t be bought with a five-pack of Tesco Value cookies, because she’s not a gluttonous bourgeois swine.

Ailbhe is like, so random.

Ailbhe has no interests or hobbies outside of student politics. And if she did, she wouldn’t waste valuable pamphlet space trying to distract you from the real issues with irrelevant personal details.

POLITICS: DEMOCRACY DOESN’T WORK PEOPLE!!!

MOST LIKELY TO SAY: “I put the lol in student lolitics.”

LEAST LIKELY TO SAY: Anything remotely intelligent.

MOTTO: “Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.”

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Has nice hair.

Knows how to spell ‘Sabbatical Officer’.

Knows Johnny Cosgrove.

Played in UCD SuperLeague.

Wore a Welfare T-Shirt once.

Looks a bit like the nerdy kid off the ‘Please Talk’ stickers.

Knows a lot about the statistics going around.

Has lobbied the government.

Has read the Sparknotes version of Notes from Underground.

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Bradley from S Club 7 (He has now split with Jo due to creative differences).

The Coronas The Wolfe Tones Aslan (if they get time amidst their seven-year tour of B & Bs) And any other act that can only be listened to while heavily intoxicated/that was rejected for the Trinity Ball.

Well, Jonny Cosgrove has pulled it off. The 2011 UCD Ball lineup looks utterly phenomenal, and thankfully there’s not a Delorento to be seen, writes George Morahan

)104-.'

Promises to investigate the feasibility of getting the Loch Ness Monster to give a talk during Women’s Week. Will investigate the feasibility of other stuff too.

Will make sure there is transparency.

Will abolish the SU clique and replace it with an L and H or Socialist clique.

Will give 110 per cent.

Will change the 24-hour study area to a 48-hour study area.

Promises to put an end to graduate unemployment.

Promises to get the finger out and actually produce a decent SU website.

Will replace Facebook with Bebo, campus-wide.

Actually do something on RAG Week.

Free massages at exam time (in SU offices).

Will ensure the other SU officers give students massages on a daily basis (except the ugly ones).

Will ensure women are treated equally within the SU and are given lots of pink, fluffy things to play with.

Will donate €100 of my wage to the Ents budget every week.

Will get Daft Punk to play the Student Bar during exam time. And ideally, will persuade them to play ‘Harder, Stronger, Better, Faster’ over and over during exams in order to help motivate students sitting the exams.

Promises to write lots of tedious press releases and a daily blog that’s literally about nothing, as well as hassling the campus newspaper editors with plenty of pointless, mind-numbing emails lol.

Will ensure that UCD gives the SU lots more money and does not believe the fact that the country is in the midst of an economic recession will hamper this plan in the slightest.

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Will establish a Heroin Addicts Awareness Day during which students will be provided with manuals to raise awareness of the dangers of heroin use.

Fight to ensure third-level fees are introduced.

Increase Students’ Union expenditure.

Increase wages for Sabbatical Officers.

Abolish Mature Students.

Make Sabbats more invisible around campus (will devote SU money into a new fund to research cloaking devices).

In order to reduce SU expenditure, I plan to cut students by at least 10 per cent.

Ensure more women are used by the SU. Promises to increase the availability of free condoms (except during Lent).

Promises to ensure greater albino representation in the SU. Will ensure all SU nurses are the sexy kind.

Promises to send as many unopened envelopes as possible.

Promises to utilize American spelling less frequently.

Promises to ensure that students have sex more often, get better exam results and stay perfectly thin, regardless of how often they eat in Café Brava.

Promises to ensure more promises are promised so that 100 per cent transparency is ensured.

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What age are you? 28 What’s your ultimate ambition? To stay in college for as long as possible.

What degree are you studying? I am about to celebrate my tenth anniversary as an Arts student.

How have you found UCD? My mammy drove me up to Dublin and headed towards Clonskeagh.

Are you running in conjunction with any other candidates? Plant de Brún.

What was your greatest achievement as Class Rep last year? Winning the Iron Stomach competition. Oh, and Hugh Brady said ‘hi’ to me once.

What’s your greatest weakness as a candidate? I’m too hot. Women won’t vote for me out of pure jealousy.

Is there anyone from the world of politics that you admire? Probably Nelson Mandela. He reminds me of me.

What will you do to ensure there is graduate employment? Lobby the government.

What if they say ‘no’? We’ll lobby them again. More politely than before.

What’s the most valuable piece of advice you’ve ever learned? “Life is a rollercoaster” – Ronan Keating.

And remember, if you were running, she’d tell you to fuck off too.

Songs to revolt to Ever wondered what soundtrack would go perfectly with that mass rally you just so happen to be planning. Adam Kearney has got all the answers ‘BORN IN THE USA’ – BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

revolution regardless of which revolution that is.

Mistaken as a patriotic, flag-waving anthem to the point that it was used in Ronald Reagan’s re-election campaign – but listening to any of the lyrics other than the chorus, it’s clear that The Boss is venting his anger over the Vietnam War.

It’s disappointing that there’s now a whole generation who only know Flava Flav as a goofy reality TV star, but Public Enemy brought rap to the mainstream with revolutionary songs such as this one.

‘FUCK THA POLICE’ – NWA Protest in the form of gangsta rap doesn’t come much finer than NWA’s seminal classic. Decrying institutional racism within the police force is surely a noble cause, however, the frequent references to killing police officers makes it a little harder to sympathise with Dr Dre and co.

‘HURRICANE’– BOB DYLAN ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’ is possibly the best known of all protest songs, but ‘Hurricane’ is just a tad more interesting. We find Dylan defending boxer Rubin Carter and claiming he was wrongly accused of murder. Looking back, it would seem Carter might just have been guilty after all, but it’s still a nice tune.

‘LET ME HOLD YOU, LITTLE MAN’ – DEWEY COX. Dewey Cox has faced a lot of criticism throughout his career, being called a carbon copy of Johnny Cash and at times Bob Dylan. Some critics have even had the nerve to call him a fictional character in a spoof biopic, but nobody can deny the work this song has done in improving the lives of short people worldwide.

‘KILLING IN THE NAME’ – RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE Whether it is corporate greed, racism or even X Factor, Rage Against the Machine have just the song to kick start the revolt. Politically charged and inflammatory, RATM are truly the sound of the

‘FIGHT THE POWER’ – PUBLIC ENEMY

‘STREET FIGHTING MAN’ – THE ROLLING STONES The Stones most political song, it’s a call for revolution in London, which was quiet at the time compared to Paris and the US references to playing the game of ‘compromise solution’ captures the unrest felt amongst those because of the Vietnam War.

‘ONE’ – METALLICA Inspired by the novel Johnny Got His Gun, this antiwar song is one of Metallica’s most popular. If the opening montage of clips hasn’t alerted you to its message, its downbeat chorus certainly will.

‘SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY’ – U2 Bono bangs on about poverty, inequality and other such pressing issues so much so that it gets hard to stomach his self-righteousness after a while. However, when he express his message in songs as good as this protest against violence in Northern Ireland, it’s worth listening to.

‘ANARCHY IN THE UK’ – SEX PISTOLS Poster boys of the punk revolution, protest doesn’t come much more rotten than the Pistols. The line ‘no future’ encapsulated the atmosphere of the time perfectly.

‘WHERE’S MY JUMPER?’ - SULTANS OF PING FC. It’s widely known that the jumper in question is a metaphor for social equality and harmony and the disco is the crazy world we live in today. So, Mr. Kenny, where is my jumper?

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s you enter the arena (congratulating yourself for fooling security with your dodgy impression of a sober person), you’ll be treated to the soothing tones and melodies of Slayer. Expect to hear such wellloved anthems as ‘Raining Blood’ and ‘Dead Skin Mask’, a perfectly pleasant way to start a sure-tobe-glorious day.

Fellow Californians, Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, will follow the thrash-metal legends.

LA’s Droog-like, much-hyped skate-rap collective will treat a D4 running track to their relatable tales of gang rape and STDs, punctuating their rhymes with homophobic slurs all over a collection of beats heavily indebted to Ariel Pink by the sounds of it.

All in all, we have a very easy-listening start to this year’s festivities.

Further up the bill, our esteemed leader has finally managed to get Girl Talk. This is a big deal.

Instead of someone playing original content, we’ll have some snot-nosed DJ laying your favourite joints to rest with a giant machete. Would you like some Metallica with your Lil Mama? No problem, Mr Girl Talk is the man for you.

As dusk falls, expect pandemonium as pop megastar Rihanna comes onstage. All the men want her and all the women want to be her and she’ll be in Belfield for one night only. She can look forward to see an 8,000 strong crowd lapping every song up, half of them will assuredly have copied whatever hairstyle she has chosen that week, scarlet.

O-two is sure campus will be aflutter with ideas for collaborations between the ‘Umbrella’ singer and the xx, who will be second headlining act for the evening. David Cameron’s favourite band just loves their RnB and will surely pounce on the opportunity to mangle ‘Islands’ with ‘Only Girl in the World’.

And finally, the big news. Cosgrove has only gone and re-formed Pink Floyd for their first performance together since Live 8. Yes, you read that correctly, Pink Floyd! Jonny’s powers of persuasion truly cannot be matched. Expect tedium aplenty as the prog legends meander through three hours of deep cuts, sobering you up in time for ‘Wish You Were Here’. Enjoy.

Oh no, hold on a sec. There has been a lastminute change as Funeral Party have been announced to replace Pink Floyd. Frankly, we should all welcome the news with open arms. A band has never been more brimming with talent, originality and charisma and they are sure to make the fifth UCD Ball a talking point for years to come *This article is a complete fabrication. Fight Like Apes will be back next fortnight (hopefully).

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CD reviews Album of the fortnight

Artist: Young Knives Album: Ornaments from the Silver Arcade

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Artist: Bibio Album: Mind Bokeh

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Although his name may sound like that of a character from a kid’s TV show, Bibio’s wholly electronic, yet somehow genre-defying musical offerings are far from juvenile; and his sixth album, Mind Bokeh, is no exception.

It is a departure from his recent records, such as the acclaimed Ambivalence Avenue, as it heads in a far more hip-hop inspired direction as witnessed on one of the album’s stand-out tracks, ‘Anything New’.

A few pop touches are thrown in as well to lighten things up a bit – which may not go down well with his original fans. However, for O-two it all comes together in an inspiring mixtape sort of way. For those of you who enjoy a synth-twist to some laidback beats, check this out.

In a Nutshell: You don’t have to be a hipster to listen to this, but it helps.

- Sophie Lioe

Young Knives may have a reputation as the musical equivalent of Mark from Peep Show, but on their third album, Ornaments from the Silver Arcade, the Ashby-de-la-Zouch trio have branched out more than ever.

With its nifty staccato guitar and steel drums, ‘Woman’ is an ironic, lavish novelty that audaciously toys with Young Knives’ buttoneddown image. Whilst the smorgasbord of tones and styles presented by ‘Silver Tongue’ and ‘Storm Clouds’ present a brilliant digression from their usual palette.

A raft of more characteristic indie-pop songs tempers the album’s experimental moments.

Although ‘Love My Name’ and ‘Human Again’ evolve into alert and memorable tunes, ‘Vision in Rags’ numbers among a few tracks that fail to transcend generic indie disco fodder.

Ornaments from the Silver Arcade proves that while their angular, uptight stylings are growing old, Young Knives can still excel when they venture outside their template.

In a Nutshell: Not quite Super Hans, but adventurous enough to entertain.

- George Morahan Artist: The Chapman Family Album: Burn Your Town

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Burn Your Town is something of a violent assault on your eardrums the first time you listen to it.

Intense is not the word. Eerie vocals and heavy use of the glockenspiel create some semblance of suspense in opening track ‘A Certain Degree’, before a thoroughly angst-ridden punk-metal follow-up in ‘All Fall’.

The album starts to suffer a little in the middle with ‘1000 lies’ and ‘She Didn’t Know’, which just seem somewhat lacking. The penultimate track ‘Million Dollars’ is the standout on the album; Suitably dark (considering it’s about killing children) and full of rhythmic guitars and pounding drums with a slight synth overload, it would be an excellent close to the album.

Unfortunately the actual closing track, ‘Virgins (Reprise)’ just can’t follow it, resulting in a somewhat anticlimactic end.

In a Nutshell: Needs a couple of listens before it stops feeling like an attack on your senses.

- Aoife Valentine

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Horrible Histories:

UCDSU Artist: Matt & Kim Album: Sidewalks

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Exclusive: The legend of RON In her first ever exclusive interview, Killian Woods talks to RON about the SU, her political career and the smell of transparency

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Pop music used to be made to be popular: that was the point. But Brooklyn synth-pop duo Matt & Kim are a new type of independent pop musician. Whereas independent acts once made brave sounds that had no hope of cracking the mainstream, they are now just creating slightly more complex versions of Top 40 music, fetishising and improving on pop.

There’s not a lot to hate on Matt & Kim’s third album. Maybe that’s why there’s so little to like.

The songs all have the sugar-rush melodies of a pop-punk track, with all the rhythm of a hiphop track. Yet, they lack the immediacy that makes pop music so great. The lyrics are often too wordy and cerebral. The synth work, while inventive, doesn’t sit too comfortably here. Still, it’s a solid effort at creating pop that doesn’t dumb itself to down to sell, despite its flaws.

In a Nutshell: Pop for people who don’t like pop.

- Cormac Duffy

Artist: The Strokes Album: Angles

For privacy purposes, RON would still prefer for her photographic identity to remain a mystery

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Until recently, O-two had assumed that The Strokes had forever retreated to their achingly cool Manhattan apartments and become mythical creatures that would only ever be seen on T-shirts and old MTV clips. Alas, after a five-year hiatus, they have indeed returned with Angles, an album that only continues the creative decline that began with 2006’s First Impressions of Earth.

While the band’s debut album, Is This It, may have instantly cemented The Strokes’ status as indie darlings, Angles fails to add anything new or exciting to the band’s repertoire. Songs such as ‘Call Me Back’ and ‘Gratisfaction’ will leave the listener baffled as to how it all went so wrong.

While the album contains semblances of the old magic, they are difficult to find, hidden amongst obscure guitar solos and barely comprehensible lyrics. ‘Games’ is sadly one of the few reminders of the New Yorkers former brilliance.

Angles gets better with further listening. Whether this improvement warrants your time is highly doubtful.

In a nutshell: A disappointment from a onceiconic band.

-Anna Burzlaff

R

ON has been an ever-present in Students’ Union elections since the inauguration of the very first sabbatical team. Like her or loathe her, she is a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

The controversial and under-represented candidate approached O-two seeking a clique-free forum to air her views. With the agenda and questions set by the candidate, O-two’s chief election reporter, Killian Woods, quizzed the electorate’s favourite non-runner.

What’s your favourite colour?

A tough question to start off with that could land me in a libellous situation. I would have to say my favourite colour is transparency. Everything in the world should be painted transparent. It is a glowing colour that radiates confidence in a political system.

Describe your persona and character in as few words as possible I am a very forgiving and generous person. My natural mandate, which is at the centre of my existence, is to promote more candidates to enter UCDSU elections.

Even if I win, I instinctively pass up on the electorate’s call for me to take office and allow for nominations to reopen. I’m like the opposite of Michael Lowry.

Do you A.) Drink B.) Smoke C.) Take drugs?

A.) Only when I’m on drugs. B.) Only when I’m smok-

ing. C.) Only when I’m drinking.

How do you spell sabbatical?

Sabbitticcal.

What’s your opinion on re-sit fees?

Pass your exams. That’s my opinion.

What race are you most confident of winning? / What is your strategy for winning the election? (The latter question is mine as I didn’t think the former question made sense) I feel I have a good grip on the Irish white Caucasian vote. They tend to vote in hordes and I’ve always maintained that if you can sway the vote of the white Irish students, then you’ll command a significant percentage of the vote.

You are commonly misinterpreted as a male character, why is this?

Well first of all, I am not a character. I am as real as the re-sit fees that every candidate claims they will get abolished. I suppose you could say that it’s all in the name; for better or for worse, my name has been associated with Ron Burgundy and Ron Weasley. Those are two very powerful male role models that have so much testosterone they inhibit any female oestrogen. Without diverging away on a tangent, the answer is sexism.

After 35 years of failure to achieve election to UCDSU, why keep going?

Another tough question. Well there are a number of factors that keep me going. After dropping my degree in 1975, I set aside a 30-year period in my life to run for UCDSU elections. Over those 30 years, I came agonisingly close on a few occasions, but never quite made it.

In 2005 I attempted to keep my promise that I made to myself and return to my Computer Science degree only to find that modularisation had been introduced. The horizons boat had set sail and I was left behind. Some of my buddies in USI also missed the boat and like me, they are stranded in Students’ Union politics, searching for a path out.

Transparency, discuss.

One man’s transparency is another’s humiliation. The word defines my campaign as much as my campaign defines it. My middle name is transparency. I am so transparent that you can’t see me, enough said.

Clique, discuss.

To me, clique means caring. If a by-product of that caring happens to be a career as a county counsellor for Dun Laoghaire-Rathdown, then so be it. I don’t view the Union as a clique; I view it as a stairway, a stairway to a heaven of filling in potholes and running tidy towns committees.

Sum up your campaign in one sentence.

I love the smell of transparency in the morning.

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SU Elections for Dummies

With the Students’ Union (SU) election hype building, Killian Woods gives the fools a rundown of the SU elections technology exam” and “09/10: Attended a lecture and got one per cent of my final grade”. However, no doubt the most cringeworthy aspect of manifestos are the personal biographies which try to be funny, but really fail miserably. Below is an O-two sample.

“O-two is a native of the UCD Student Centre.

They have been a class rep for the past five years in a row for 2nd year Commerce. Like most people, they are huge Star Wars fans and like eating donuts from Nine One One. It was once rumoured that O-two defeated Chuck Norris and kicked the homophobia out of him with our famed rainbow kick. After contracting the clap at Class Rep training, O-two has carried the disease with pride and emblazoned it on many others since. Remember, we do have a vote and we’ll vote for YOU!”

Facebook We provide a foolproof SU guide for the common student on the street

Manifestos/Posters

Before you heard the candidates, and definitely before you saw them desperately trying to get attention at the bottom of your lecture hall, the first sight you probably caught of them was on a poster or when you found a lecture hall plastered in their manifestos.

The manifestos are merely a condensed form of the views, opinions and achievements of your potential representatives. Crammed in from cover to cover have to be certain bare necessities. On the cover is an essential mug shot that must beam confidence, with a hint of smugness so the candidate can maintain their ‘I’m better than you’ aura.

Inside the cover, all those bright ideas come to life in brightly coloured boxes with words in them, coupled with a shot of the candidate leaning against an imaginary wall or on their hunkers beside a lake.

The candidates list their aims that they seem to feel are feasible and represent students’ needs in the simplest (and most grammatically inept) English possible. Whether it’s ensuring a water fountain gets installed in <insert generic building here> or ordering the library staff to work longer hours, in the end they are really powerless to turn those words into a successful mandate.

The back page of the manifestos can be somewhat of a quirky addition, but usually end up being a monstrosity. Contents usually include achievements such as “10/11: Helped out on SHAG week and thus failed my continuous assessment Plant Bio-

Battles for election are no longer won and lost on the grounds of UCD campus. It’s simply not enough to out roar the other sabbatical candidates at the bottom of lecture theatres and hope to sway votes anymore.

Nowadays, the typical voter in the UCDSU elections will be 76 per cent more likely to be swayed by a colourful and enticing Facebook page than any sort of charismatic leadership skills displayed by the candidate.

Voting

Just like your sexual preference, you have the right to choose which smiley-eyed candidate you want to vote for. Albeit the choice on offer will make you weigh up in your head the pros and cons of democracy, but at least you get to pick.

Tick the box, put numbers down or rip the ballot paper up. In the end, your voice will be heard and processed into some sort of future county councillor earning a mandate to represent your rights in the upcoming academic year.

O-two can’t recommend who you should vote for, but we can advise. Naturally if your chosen candidate wins, you’ll have to look at them on more posters for the next year at least, so why not vote for the good-looking candidate at the very least.

Don’t get too used to the current voting system however. Reforms to the UCD Students’ Union constitution soon will change the face of voting in SU elections forever. The old paper and pen trick will become obsolete very soon as the whole system is about to go online. In the not-too-distant future, you will ‘Like’ your sabbatical officers into power through Facebook. Simply straddle your way to the respective candidates page and like them.

This is the future of politics and you can even buy the t-shirt and say “I was online when UCD Students liked <blank> into the SU”.

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Anthemic rock

The Low Anthem take time to talk to Imelda Hehir about their DIY ethos and recording in a haunted pasta sauce factory

1974 – The UCD Clique Society is formed.

Students sign up in great numbers to the society in the tent during Freshers’ Week for £2. With their membership comes a free condom, a tyre puncture repair kit and £2 concession card to d|two on Thursdays.

1975 – Genuinely stuck for anything to do with their time as the Clique Society, the group of hacks reform their mandate and change the society into a Union that aims to represent students, while also providing a stepping-stone into politics.

1981 – Six years after the formation of the Students’ Union, re-sit fees have increased ten fold and library hours have been reduced by a collective 9,000 hours over three years.

1995 – RON pulls out of the UCDSU elections with the intention of focusing on her degree.

2005 – The most successful SU President takes office after commanding a significant proportion of the mandate. James Carroll follows up his successful election campaign by being the first elected member of the SU to have his own Wikipedia page [disambiguation required].

2007 – Accommodation, Employment, Research and Development Officer position created.

2008 – Accommodation, Employment, Research and Development Officer position abolished and Louise of Fade Street fame becomes a member of UCDSU. 2008 to present – World War Fee is in full swing. The extremity of the matter is demonstrated by 2,200,000 students [Citation needed] mobilising themselves on the streets of Dublin to protest.

2014 – On the green space outside the O’Reilly Hall, Fees and UCDSU fight out their final battle in a “winner takes all reg fees” bout. You’ll just have to wait until then to see what happens.

- Killian Woods

The Low Anthem, a band not shy of covering Irish favourite ‘The Auld Triangle’

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t’s been nearly three years since The Low Anthem made their mark on the music world with their second album Oh My God, Charlie Darwin.

Such a pronounced gap between records would usually be debilitating for any young band, but The Low Anthem have been caught up in a manic touring schedule and finalising their latest album, Smart Flesh.

To mark its release, they have performed on Later... with Jools Holland as well as on Late Night with David Letterman, but while the group acknowledges these are “great opportunities,” they also want to assure that popularity and promotion is not their focus. “We were making records long before anyone gave a shit and those days could return; we’d still be making records.

It’s not a pop band. We’re more interested in craft than theatre.”

Such a philosophy only fuels the remarkably close bond between the band and their fans, by eschewing the mass media and embracing a do-it-yourself approach, they believe they are keeping themselves grounded in a righteous musical culture. “We’re not a pop band. We don’t try to maintain that ugly distance.

Our music was birthed in a true DIY scene and we just try to keep things straight forward.”

And while the group say they are not interested in “theatre”, it seems to be movies that hold their attention at the moment. They’ve even performed at the Sundance Film Festival, and when asked about the possibilities of getting involved in film work in the future, little can be said: “There is a short film in my

future, but I’m not at liberty to discuss.

“I’m not really interested in scoring unless there is a whole vision to the thing, you know? So it feels more like an album. Film music tends to be boring out of the context of film. I’m not sure what I’d be getting into.”

The background of Smart Flesh certainly could not be described as orthodox or boring. “We found this lovely haunted factory [Pasta Sauce in Rhode Island] where our friends were squatting as security guards. The owner lent us the key for five months and we lived and worked there over that time.”

Naturally, an abandoned factory didn’t have the best acoustics, but it added a unique flavour to the record that couldn’t be replicated in a normal studio. “It was very difficult to control the sounds, but we gathered some and gathered plenty of the unwanted as well: the bleed, the murk, the sauce. Much of the intimacy of the takes was re-blasted into the open space creating this strange quality of hushed hugeness.”

From the location to the actual product, Smart Flesh is a distinctive record, and has an eclectic blend of instrumentation, but as they explain, the album’s transition from their minds onto tape was a meticulous one.

“The many instruments are a matter of our obsessive process. We need to hear certain textures and frequencies so we track down the right horn to get the sound, or the stylophone or the right building – two were used on this recording. Whatever it takes to find the sound, nothing is off limits.”

As completely anal as their creative process may

sound, the band protest that it is working towards a more organic sound. “It’s not about the chance at a unique sound. The music grows and emanates naturally.”

The band is known to perform a cover of our very own Irish anthem, ‘The Auld Triangle’, so O-two asks if Irish trad is an influence on them. “Shane MacGowan’s songwriting is near the pinnacle. Van Morrison. We’ve never spent time with Irish trad, though the melodies are heart searing and ingrained in everyone.”

Alongside the unique recording locations the group have an ever-changing musical taste, when asked about the eclectic sound they provide, and how it influences the music made, the group state that their “tastes change so quickly, it’s impossible to keep up. If we went into the studio today we would probably release an Ivor Cutler-esque murder mystery saga set in the suburbs on the night of the great air-hockey fire.”

While we can’t complain, O-two can only wonder whether it is a tragedy or a blessing that they think, “by the time we get back into the studio, those impulses may have passed”.

Either way, here’s to the future of The Low Anthem and the creativity, which will ideally flow as fast and free as their imaginations. Hopefully we won’t be waiting too long for a follow up. Even the group themselves admit with the lead-up to the record’s release, they had “grown restless. Having it out is a relief.” Hadn’t we all.

The Low Anthem play Vicar Street on April 10th. Tickets are €21. Smart Flesh is out now.

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Lactose tolerance

In light of the ever-increasing numbers of allergy sufferers, Emer Sugrue finds out where in Dublin caters for our picky friends.

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SOAPBOX Like the contrarian fellow he is, George Morahan defends Rebecca Black’s right to decimate your ears

WHAT’S WHAT’S

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Rustic Stone is one of many restaurants whose menu caters for those with food allergies

ingredients.

Depending on your particular brand of finicky, Italian foods can a blessing or a curse. Pizza and pasta tend to be the staple of vegetarians, particularly the paradoxically vegetable-hating ones, but the prospect is not so good for your lactose intolerant or coeliac guests. Practically everything is packed with wheat and cheese but there are alternatives.

There is some vegan and lactose free cheese available in the supermarkets, but you’ll have to stick to tomato-based pasta otherwise.

There are wheat and gluten-free pastas available made from corn and rice flour, and a few options for gluten-free pizza bases.

Credo, near Harcourt Street, offers a full gluten-free menu including desserts, with a separate kitchen to guarantee there is no contamination. They deliver both glutenfree and normal pizzas to anywhere in South Dublin so it’s ideal for parties.

If you head into town for a meal, the options open up a bit. As well as the food mentioned above, there are a host of speciality restaurants catering to all sorts of allergies and preferences.

Usually once you find one or two allergens mentioned on a menu, you can be confident of a careful and understanding chef who will be happy to make alterations to a dish.

There can be slight problems if you have a server that doesn’t speak English well, but staff tend to be well briefed on these issues, and you can always get the message across in the end.

And if all else fails: there is still the green salad without dressing.

While there are many restaurants out there that cater for those with food allergies, here are a few prime examples: Rustic Stone - Vegetarian, Wheat Free, Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Sugar Free 17 South Great Georges St Dublin 2 (01) 707 9596 www.rusticstone.ie Cafe Fresh - Vegan, Vegetarian, Dairy Free, Wheat Free, Raw, Egg Free, Sugar Free, Gluten Free, Yeast Free South William St Dublin 2 (01) 671 9669 www.cafe-fresh.com Cornucopia Restaurant - Vegan, Vegetarian, Egg Free, Dairy Free, Yeast Free, Wheat Free, Gluten Free 19/20 Wicklow St Dublin 2 (01) 677 7583 www.cornucopia.ie Govinda’s - Vegan, Vegetarian, Egg Free, Garlic Free, Onion Free, Dairy Free 44 Aungier Street Dublin 2 (01) 475 0309 www.govindas.ie Blazing Salads - Vegetarian, Vegan, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Yeast Free, Sugar Free, Wheat Free, Nut Free, Organic 42 Drury Street Dublin 2 (01) 671 9552 www.blazingsalads.com

incompatible with human arteries after all, thus stripping Ms Black of the spotlight.

The Rebecca Black phenomenon is also highlighting some of the nasty truths of the internet. YouTube has seemingly discarded one of our society’s founding traits. Our capacity to patronise kids is at an all-time low and frankly, we should be ashamed of ourselves. In years past, we would be content to give such daring children a condescending “well done”, a pat on the head (while brandishing our best grimace/smile) before quickly moving on.

Now it seems we are sadistically compelled to mock them at all costs. The least we could do is give the girl some constructive criticism, or highlight the few positive qualities her music has. I mean, I would have never thought to rhyme the word bowl with cereal, would you?

I admit I have indulged in dissecting the flaws of Rebecca’s lyrics as much as the next commenter, but I’m sure I have better things to do. Maybe instead of seething in anger or laughing our heads off, we should be alerting the authorities of the many children driving around in flash cars (and without seatbelts no less). Or maybe we should warn Rebecca’s parents about the rapping paedophile seen driving around in search of school buses. Either way, we should stop watching.

What’s Hot

Rebecca Black has explained the days of the weekend to nearly 50 million people and counting ust leave Rebecca Black alone, alright. She may have not have any real talent or the ability to actually say the word Friday, but the girl is 13, leave her be.

Those out there saying she should cut herself and hoping she gets an eating disorder are just wasting minutes of their lives that they’ll never get back.

I don’t think anything has ever been less worthy of the internet’s collective wrath. Of all the menial things to disturb the blogosphere from its orgy of porn and lolcats, it’s not a tsunami or the spelling of “Qguaadafee”, but a teen wannabe, whose ambitions overshoot her ability by a light year (or two). And good on her, she wants her 15 minutes and who are we to deny her.

Even those who are set on her destruction are only playing into the girl’s favour. This whole “we don’t hate you because you’re famous; you’re famous because we hate you” attitude is completely self-defeating. At the time of writing, ‘Friday’ is inching towards 50 million views.

Most of those have come from people who just need a laugh, but those who think it represents yet another milestone in the descent of western civilisation need to cheer up, she’ll be gone in a couple of weeks.

By complaining, you’re missing out on what makes ‘Friday’ so fun (fun fun fun) and only prolonging your misery until Charlie Sheen realises tigerblood isn’t actually

HOT NOT

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With a newfound love of the Hoff, Alison Lee returns to once again analyse the fortnight’s highs and lows

What’s Not

atering for friends with disparate food needs is a tricky business. A quick flick through your favourite recipes will show that everything you eat is bound to make one of your friends break out in hives. Even without allergies to consider, there are vegetarians, vegans, and those weirdos who won’t eat mushrooms.

Throwing dinner parties can be great fun but with so many competing illnesses and preferences, the research and preparation could take days. While it’s very tempting to relax on, with allergies you really do have to be careful – it spoils the mood somewhat to skip dessert for a trip to the emergency room, or when a friends frantic vomiting drowns out your Belle and Sebastian CD. All supermarkets these days have an allergy section, but it’s usually quite limited. So unless you have a particular urge to spend hours reading the list of ingredients, going to a restaurant is by far the better option when dealing with picky friends.

This way, you can nod sympathetically when the only thing they can order is green salad without dressing while you chomp your way through a meat feast. With a bit of preparation however, you can find plenty of places in Dublin with something for everyone.

There are several options for takeaway. Indian food is always a good choice; they tend not to specify suitability for coeliacs, but flour is not used in Indian dishes. Once you stay away from the obvious; naan bread, popadoms and the like, you should be fine.

They also have plenty of dairy-free, egg-free, vegetarian and vegan dishes to choose from.

Bombay Pantry is particularly good with information about ingredients, their menu marks which dishes are unsuitable for those with nut allergies and coeliac disease, as well as what can be prepared as vegan. Few restaurants can guarantee there is no contamination however.

Chinese and Thai and Japanese food can be a problem for coeliacs. Apart from the obviously batter or breadcrumb-covered food, soy sauce is made with wheat and is used liberally in all dishes. Wheat free soy sauce is easy to use at home but seems to be unknown in restaurants.

Gluten-free food can often be requested – Yamamori and Siam Thai are careful to mark suitable dishes.

Most sushi is fine, just stick to the wasabi rather than the soy and always skip the miso.

Vegans and those with seafood allergies should avoid this type of food completely – almost everything contains oyster, prawn or other fish sauce. You can’t even taste it but it is in everything: watch out for this too if you use jars of sauce at home. Nuts are an issue also, as cashews, peanuts and sesame are common

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The amazingness The launch of the Phil Lynott of the Electric Exhibition Picnic lineup

The Hoff to replace Simon Cowell

Hats off to the powers that be at Stradbally for pulling together yet another mouth-watering lineup. Interpol, Death In Vegas and Pulp are just a few acts that will delight indie kids this September – assuming the poor things can extricate themselves from a quagmire of liquid mud and straighten their hair in time to get to the main stage.

The world’s largest collection of Phil Lynott and Thin Lizzy memorabilia has been gathered together into one of the most fascinating exhibitions on contemporary music Dublin has ever seen.

However the show only runs until April 3rd, no procrastinating! Get your skates on and pay homage to the legend that is Phil Lynott while you can.

It seemed the Hoff’s glory days were over when he got dropped as a judge from America’s Got Talent thanks to his drinking problem. But the former Baywatch hunk has been given a second chance across the Atlantic, replacing nasty Simon Cowell as a judge on Britain’s Got Talent. It’s unlikely this’ll make the show worth watching, but it can’t hurt.

The staggering dullness of SU Elections

The existence of breast milk ice cream

Nike’s attempts to predict the future

Just when you thought elections were all over, boom – the SU strikes again with an interminable week of campaigning. It’s now impossible to walk ten metres in UCD without being accosted by a scarily enthusiastic, flierwielding campaigner.

Just turn on your best “apathy” face, stick your hands in your pockets and keep walking.

If Lady Gaga thinks something’s gross, it must be pretty bad – the woman wears clothes made out of raw meat for god’s sake. Gaga put her tiny foot down when a London ice-cream parlour started selling human breast milk ice cream, naming the concoction “Baby Gaga”. The disturbing dessert is now off the market, after quite a “storm in a D-cup”.

The sportswear giant made hundreds of T-shirts, not to mention a fancy TV commercial, to celebrate England winning the Grand Slam. This turned out to be a somewhat premature move considering how easily the Irish team beat the English recently.

Leaks from the Nike headquarters inform O-two that Nike’s team of fortune-tellers have been fired and replaced by an octopus.

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The wonder of Wales Ydych chi’n siarad Cymraeg? No, we can’t pronounce that either but that hasn’t stopped Andrew Hines from exploring the beautiful sights of Pembrokeshire

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03 REGULARS

SOAPBOX George Morahan is hatin’ the haters with his defence of Rebecca Black. And no, defence is not a typo.

WHAT'S HOT & WHAT'S NOT Alison Lee sets the world straight with her sage advice.

04 - 06 SU ELECTION SPECIAL

Killian Woods gives an in-depth profile of RON amongst other things, while we introduce a late candidate running for election – Ailbhe McJobseeker.

07 GAMES

– Mathew Jones reviews the upcoming game Duke Nukem Forever that could be coming to a store near you, maybe.

– Next in our series on games you never heard of is Okami; Quinton O’Reilly tells you why it’s great and you’re wrong.

08 SPIRITUAL & SEXUAL ADVICE

Fadora McSexypants takes on your sex woes, while Mystic Mittens looks into the future to see whether it really will clear up in 3-4 weeks.

16 FILM

REVIEWS Limitless, Country Strong and Essential Killing get the O-two treatment.

TOP TEN The moment no one has been waiting for: Jon Hozier-Byrne and Killian Woods evaluate the best side boobs in cinematic history.

TV CTN feels the wrath of Fadora McSexypants, while Natalie Voorheis settles in with the Fawlty Towers boxset.

19 FEATURE

Irish Stars? There are plenty of them apparently as Jon Hozier-Byrne dissects the Irish film industry.

20 MUSIC

INTERVIEWS –We chat to the Low Anthem, Glasser, The Blackout and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart.

SHUFFLE – O-two fights the man with this list of Songs to revolt to.

WRITE LIKE APES – Disappointed by the UCD Ball lineup? Here’s a better one by George Morahan.

CD REVIEWS – It does what it says on the tin.

09 WEBWATCH

26 FOOD AND DRINK

10 FASHION

From East to even more East – Andrew Hines and Sophie Lioe visit Wales and Singapore.

– It may not truly be fantasy without dragons, but Ryan Mackenzie explores the magical world of online fantasy sports.

– Anna Burzlaff meanwhile tackles a different fantasy world with the time travelling website whatwasthere.com Local Dublin fashion designers take the spotlight in this issue’s fashion shoot, men finally get some fashion advice and Lady Gaga gets a dressing down.

14 HEADLINER

Experimental art rock group Warpaint talk to George Morahan about... war. And paint.

Feeding yourself is a hassle at the best of times, but for those with allergies it can be a nightmare. Emer Sugrue finds out how to stuff your face without consequences.

27 TRAVEL

28 BACK PAGE

– We asked you to Please Talk about the UCD Ball and this is what you said.

– UCD band Humor can’t spell, but can talk, as they answer our Campus Band Questionnaire.

+(##(,*-,%.*#/(*01) Hidely-ho readerinos!

In between obsessively scrolling our way through eyeonspringfield.tumblr.com and throwing darts at SU election posters, we have managed to produce a magazine bursting with interviews, reviews, features and all kinds of other journalistic stuff.

Our features in this penultimate issue include the next big thing in experimental rock – Warpaint chat to our music editor about being an all-girl band, sexism and other sexy stuff like that. We also have interviews with The Low Anthem, Glasser, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart and our resident bespectacled hobbit sits down with The Blackout in our one page nonfeature interview.

The other music news at Observer HQ has been all about the barely-teen sensation Rebecca Black, the whiny American songstress who has RUINED FRIDAY FOREVER. Despite the irritations and the domineering evil behemoth (Ark Music Factory) that unleashed this monstrosity, George Morahan faces up to the haytahs from his Soapbox. He may defend her right to sing whatever she wants, but we still defend our right to harshly criticise misguided children.

Our fashion expert Donna Doyle leads the way with her exhibit of local Dublin designs, while Mary Cody takes on the cult of Gaga and Joe Murphy shows you poor menfolk how to dress yourselves. We review upcoming movies Limitless, Country Strong and Essential Killing and some old box set favourites, before evaluating one of the most important aspects of cinema: the sideboob.

Finally, we would like to congratulate everyone in who was nominated in the upcoming National Student Media Awards, it’s been a long year and this makes not having a social life almost worth it. Now back to the library!

Yours faithfully, Emer and Killian

short ferry ride across Saint George’s Channel lies a mystical place where the jagged cliffs jutting out into the ocean are sleeping giants, waiting to one day awake and come to aid of the Celts in their time of need.

As a gullible American tourist, I readily ate up these ancient stories and set out for Wales. Unfortunately none of the locals seemed to take the lore as seriously, but anyone disappointed by this would be quickly appeased once you discover the many varieties there.

Pembrokeshire is the most south-western county in Wales and surrounded by the sea on three sides.

It boasts some of the most scenic landscapes in the country, but it is far from being a wilderness expedition as frequent buses and trains along the coast make travel a breeze. There is a 300km path that runs along the coast passing by some of the best surfing beaches in Wales as well as a variety of castles, monasteries and nature reserves.

The (perhaps surprisingly) beautiful summer weather is perfect for camping and there are cheap £5 campsites dotted along the trail. The campsites have a great summer crowd with very few tourists. If you want a hot meal and a shower, there are also some very good YHA hostels along the trail. However, book in advance as they have limited space and tend to fill up throughout the summer. Most of the towns and villages along the way have hotels or a bed and breakfast and will almost certainly have a few restaurants and pubs.

One of the bigger surprises to be found during your

Wales is one of the most mountainous countries in Europe time there is Welsh beer. Welsh beer is possibly one of the best kept secrets of the country: if you ask a Welsh barman familiar with the beer lore, he will tell you that Arthur Guinness got all of his inspiration from Welsh stout. The beer brewing tradition goes back to the middle ages where home brewing was common in Wales. The Welsh beer market tends to have a bit more variety than Ireland and arguably some of the

best darks in Europe can be found in Wales.

The locals are friendly and eager to chat and the culture has yet to be spoiled by flocks of tourists overrunning their towns. If you’re looking for a clubbing holiday, this is probably not your spot, but if you are up for some camping, hiking or surfing and a good pint, the Pembrokeshire coastline should be your first stop.

What’s the story Singapore-y?

It’s a small, small world that Sophie Lioe discovers when traversing the exotic and eccentric land of Singapore

S

ingapore is a real-life Disneyland. Picture this: streets so clean you could probably eat your dinner off them if you were so inclined, each building lining the harbour painted a different colour – think Balamory, but Eastern – and each tree trimmed to perfection. All that’s missing is deranged happy people in ridiculous costumes.

Getting into the country itself, however, is a less delightful process due to the strict border control and the fear that you might accidentally be smuggling banned chewing gum in your back pocket from months ago. The four-hour bus ride from the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur crosses the connecting causeway between the two countries but you may as well be hopping on a longhaul flight to the other side of the globe: the difference between the two on a cultural level is extraordinary.

After Singapore gained independence from Malaysia in 1965, the country developed unrecognisably and is now considered one of the economic and academic leaders of the world. It’s also one of the wealthiest countries in the world, attracting huge businesses and ever-present tourists alike. Not bad for a country which measures just

25km by 48km.

However, the city itself initially gives off a slightly strange impression, appearing somewhat fake. In its attempt at being a cultural, historical place, this eventually gives way to a sense of security and ease. The longer you stay there, the more you never want to leave. Who wouldn’t want to live in a beautiful, safe, clean city?

Although Singapore’s crazy laws such as no chewing gum and no eating or drinking on or near public transport may indicate a country so obsessed with perfection that you’re scared to put a foot wrong, you’re soon distracted by the extraordinary architecture, charming streets and numerous tourist attractions, such as its very own Universal Studios.

The main harbour area, Marina Bay, and the affluent Orchard Road (Singapore’s answer to Fifth Avenue) offer not only traditional Chinese and Malay food, but any Western delight you could want – from Hooters to fine Italian cuisine.

After travelling around China and Malaysia for the weeks leading up to this, a bit of a reminder of home was somewhat of a welcome relief. The harbour’s nightlife area (such as Clarke Quay) is buzzing with Latino bars

According to the Economist Intelligence Unit, Singapore has the best quality of life in Asia where you can Salsa dance into the night, to Irish pubs to try out how well Guinness travels.

You can even see what it’s like to sit in a fake wheelchair and drink brightly coloured cocktails through a drip, surrounded by hospital screens and being served by staff in scrubs and masks in the Clinic Bar. Slightly bizarre, I know. But in a word, that’s just what Singapore is.

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Please Talk!

With the UCD Ball lineup announced today, O-two asked what dream act would you like to play at the event?

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29TH MAR 2011 ISSUE 11 VOL. XVII

The University Observer’s Arts & Culture Supplement

Ciara Leddy, 1st year Psychology (left) and Sinéad Dunne, 1st year Arts (right) –The Strokes, Panic at the Disco and Joy Division.

Humor have played an array of venues ranging from the Academy 2 to friends’ birthdays

Campus Band Questionnaire: Humor Oisin O Coigligh from Humor talks to O-two about their love of Pendulum, why they’re not a typical boyband and the salt in the Main Restaurant Who are your members and what do they play?

Robert McAuley (bass/vocals), David Gallagher (drums/ambient sound), Oisin O Coigligh (guitar/ occasional vocals).

Where did you get the inspiration for your name?

The answer to this is more cryptic than ten Da Vinci codes read by Stephen Fry on tape. Robert was walking in the woods one day and had an epiphany, that’s all I was bothered to ask him just there. The real genius behind it is that it’s the American spelling of humour, so we won’t have to worry about making it in the States. Let us not forget that the human eye has an aqueous and a vitreous humour. And only five words rhyme with Humor. The more you think about it, the less you give a shit.

Where do you gig?

Pretty much anywhere that will have us, The Twisted Pepper, Academy 2, Whelan’s or The Pint. Also sheds, birthdays and barbeques. We try not to let the fame go to our heads.

What do you play on your tour bus?

Supermarket sweep with Dale Winton and Castlevania 3D. Lyric FM has some good stuff, we like the classics. We sometimes slap on Eiffel 65 and ‘Maniac 2000’ to get us ready for a rockin’ gig. We recently decided to scrap the bus in favour of something more environmentally friendly. Like some kind of Dutch solar-powered van that is powered by global warming.

It’s on the way, but until then we’ll fumigate Dublin getting to whatever pub we’re playing at.

What’s the best thing about going to UCD? UCD is like an elephant: big and ugly but lots of fun.

The top floor of the science hub is pretty good for a bit of soul searching and lab reports. There can be some pretty class gigs in the Student Bar like the Wolftones and Director, although truthfully I was probably the only person at both. Occasionally we get a cool celebrity in such as Dave McSavage and the ultra-smooth Bill Clinton. Professor Pat Guiry and Dr Tommy Gallagher need a mention as well as two lecturers I would want on my side in a bar fight.

What’s the worst thing about going to UCD? People constantly telling you to get involved. They forget that college is about going to lectures, and then drinking to forget those lectures. Not to mention negative marking, no plug sockets in the library and nowhere to get food after seven o’clock. Another thing, and I don’t think I’m alone here, the UCD restaurant making you pay for salt when it’s clearly a human right.

Which acts would you choose to headline your dream festival?

Pendulum, Deftones, Reuben. That would be beautiful, although frankly I don’t think there is one quiet song between the three of them.

Where would be your dream place to play?

Personally it’s a tie between Reading festival and Electric Picnic. A submarine would be interesting How do you differ from other bands in UCD? We’re not your typical boyband who talks about their feelings and thoughts in songs. We find that when you read enough of the back of DVD boxes, the songs come to you. And we don’t pay more than a tenner for our haircuts, clearly.

In conversation with Killian Woods.

Karen Buckley, Arts International (left) and Aoibhinn Malarey, Final-Year Law (right) – Daft Punk, they’d be deadly for the event that it is. Everyone would be going crazy to it at night time with the lights. Muse would also be really good.

+INSIDE

RT PURE AT HEA G N EI B F O S > THE PAIN N SPECIAL > SU ELECTIO KILLING > ESSENTIAL PORTS > FANTASY S

Mark O’Donnell, 2nd year Business and Law – The Jackson 5 because, well, it’d be cool to see a zombie for one.

Conor Boden Final-year Law – It’d be nice to have Daft Punk, because they would be deadly.

- Quinton O’Reilly

WARPAINT O-two talk to the indie darlings about broken relationships, sexism in rock and palm trees