The University Observer - Volume XVI, Issue 8

SPORT

COMMENT

SUPPLEMENT

EDUCATION: THE NEXT GENERATION

OTWO COLD: JED WE DID

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PAGES 8-9

INSIDE

UCD TRIUMPH OVER HIGHFIELD

Observer Digest NEWS SU Sabbatical Candidates line up Candidates declare intentions to run in the SU’s elections next month PAGE 5

FEATURES Dropping out is hard to do What do you do when faced with the ultimate university decision?

PAGE 10

Doctor in the house Dr McSeamy is here to answer all our love questions PAGE 13

SCIENCE & HEALTH Just Friends?

Can men and women really just be friends?

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Belfield the most expensive campus to live on CLAIRE LEYDEN A survey compiled by UCD Students’ Union has revealed that UCD campus student residences are the most expensive on-campus accommodation in the country.

The survey results reveal that campus residences in UCD are over eight per cent more expensive than their city centre Trinity equivalents, despite many places remaining unfilled.

Students in UCD can pay up to €5,324 for campus accommodation while their Trinity counterparts face a charge of €4,916. Students in NUI Maynooth pay €4,180 for campus residences while those in UCC cost €4,881 per year.

The survey also found that students living in Belgrove and Merville are paying approximately €452 a month for much more basic living conditions than those available off campus.

Many first year students have opted out of living on campus this year, choosing instead are finding cheaper accommodation elsewhere. As a result, on-campus accommodation has been Continued on P5 >>

2nd February 2010 ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY...

1941: Wrestler and UCD toilet door hero... uh oh! Looks like it’s Groundhog Day...

Observer The University

VOLUME XVI ISSUE 8

NE QUID FALSE DICERE AUDEAT NE QUID VERI NON AUDEAT

2nd February 2010

IRELAND’S AWARD-WINNING STUDENT NEWSPAPER

Scheduling conflict could mean Christmas Eve exams NATASHA WETTEN

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hristmas exams in 2010 could run on into Christmas Eve in a bid to resolve the scheduling conflicts around Orienta-

tion Week.

The start of the 2010-2011 term has been provisionally deferred by one week, to accommodate scheduling conflicts which see Orientation Week clashing with the first round CAO offers.

Problems had arisen when it emerged that UCD’s Orientation Week clashed with the first round of CAO offers, due to be issued this year on 30th August.

There were concerns that university authorities may have to scrap Orientation Week in its current format due to the fact that students would only receive notice of their place in UCD halfway through the scheduled Orientation Week.

However at a meeting of the University Undergraduate Programme Board last month, it was formally proposed that authorities scrap the original academic schedule, which had intended for orientation to commence on Monday 30th August.

It was then proposed that orientation begin on Monday 6th September, with the first week of classes beginning on Monday 13th September. After twelve weeks’ tuition and one revision week, the final exam period would thus start on Monday 13th December and end on 23rd December, one week later than usual.

However for this plan to work, it will require condensing the current elevenday exam timetable into a ten-day one.

If the traditional eleven-day progamme can not be shortened, it would mean that

Students perform a traditional Malaysian dance at the annual Malaysia Night last Saturday in the Astra Hall. Photo: Catriona Laverty exams would end on Christmas Eve as they cannot be held on Sundays.

Proposals were also put forward to begin the exams a day early on Saturday 11th December should the timetabling issue fail to be resolved.

According to the written proposal

from the meeting, the main concern with the potential overlap of Orientation Week and the CAO offers being released was the inconvenience that the clash would have on incoming students.

It was agreed that allowing students only one day to accept an offer and to begin

their registration would cause too much stress, as well as adding extra pressure to university staff.

It was also felt that students would be ill prepared for life in UCD without undergoing the complete orientation process.

Reg charge ‘a form of fees’ – universities BRIDGET FITZSIMONS The heads of the seven Irish universities have admitted for the first time that the student registration fee is a veiled form of third-level fees. The admission, which came at a meeting of the Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Science last Wednesday, 27th January, has brought the debate on fees back into the public forum.

The committee heard submissions from the university presidents after UCD Students’ Union President Gary Redmond, along with Trinity Students’ Union President Conan Ó Bróin, had sought a hearing on how the registration fee – formally called the ‘student services levy’ – was being spent by each college.

Redmond and Ó Bróin supplied details of the breakdown of the registration fee they have obtained from the two univer-

sities, which revealed that around a third of the fee – about €550 per student – was being spent on covering administrative costs for matters such as registration and examination, as well as funding conventional student services.

At the hearing, UCD’s Dr Hugh Brady described the registration fee as “a fee… a non-tuition fee”, while Provost of Trinity, Professor John Hegarty, claimed a link between the rise in the registration fee and the fall in grants paid to universities by the government. DCU’s President, Professor Ferdinand von Prondzynski, called the level of questioning put by the Committee as “robust”, but stated that the reintroduction of formal tuition fees was “inevitable”.

Following the meeting, Redmond and Ó Bróin expressed relief that the leaders were “finally admitting it [the misallocation of services funds] in public,” with Ó

Bróin describing the universities’ earlier denial as “ridiculous.” Redmond said he had “suggested that these are fees by the back door since September almost,” and that the current labelling of student services is “absurd,” and “nothing short of a farce.”

Redmond added that while he was “not going to accuse anyone of creative accounting or ‘cooking the books’ – that’s for the Comptroller and Auditor General of the Public Accounts Committee to do – but it appears to me that the figures that I was presented with, and that my predecessors were presented with, are vastly different from the figures that the Joint Oireachtas Committee were presented with.”

While both Redmond and Ó Bróin agree that a charge for registration administrative costs, student services and examinations is fair, they have

complained that universities have been slow to define what they consider to be a ‘student service’. Redmond revealed to The University Observer that UCD had deemed library and IT services to be ‘student services’ for the first time in 2008, while they had previously been considered “a core academic service.”

The two Students’ Unions have proposed that either the registration fee be cut in line with investment in student services, and that should the fee remain at €1500 or above, that it be spent entirely on student needs.

The committee has invited Minister for Education and Science, Batt O’Keeffe, to appear in front of them as his earliest convenience to further discuss the breakdown of the registration fee. Ó Bróin has called for “a bit of honesty from the Minister and the universities” when the matter is discussed again.

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THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

NEWS

news@universityobserver.ie

Redmond to seek USI presidency RUTH ARAVENA

Micheal Ó Muircheartaigh at last year’s SnaG launch Photo: Colin Scally

Ambitious plans for Seachtain na Gaeilge KATIE HUGHES Organisers of Seachtain na Gaeilge have lined up some big names for this year’s events. Monday will see a Balloon Launch with sports commentator Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh, as well as Speed Dating with former Rose of Tralee and RTÉ host Aoibhinn Ní Shúilleabháin.

As part of Seachtain na Gaeilge’s ‘No Béarla’ campaign, fluent Irish speakers will be encouraged to speak exclusively through Irish for the entire week, while Thursday 11th will be the designated ‘No Béarla’ day for everyone else.

Campus shops will also participate by displaying comic signs and stickers reading “I can’t speak English today’’. All participants will be charged a €15 fee and will receive Seachtain na Gaeilge hoodies, as well as free entry into all of the week’s events.

An Irish class entitled ‘Rang faoin Tuiseal Guinideach’ will be held on the Thursday for people with Junior or Leaving Certificate Irish who wish to restore some of their Irish language abilities.

Other events organised include an Irish language

hypnotist, and music from The Coronas - fronted

by UCD Commerce and Irish graduate Danny O’Reilly - and will be ongoing throughout the week.

Seachtain na Gaeilge will take place between 8th and 12th of February, with all proceeds being donated to UCD Volunteers Overseas (UCDVO).

SU Irish Language Officer, Aoife Nic Samhráin, has chosen to donate the proceeds to UCDVO as “it’s a good idea to give it to a charity that is involved in UCD itself, as students of UCD are taking part.”

While Seachtain na Gaeilge is part-funded by UCDSU, sponsorship has also come in from Bord na Gaeilge, Comhairle na Múinteoirí, an Cumann Gaelach and Foras na Gaeilge, as well as Centra and Nine One One. The Seachtain na Gaeilge Crew will be helped by the committees of UCD’s Irish societies as well as residents of the Teach Gaelach in Merville.

Smaller Irish-based events are scheduled to occur on a weekly basis after Seachtain na Gaeilge, while the next big event Irish-language event on campus following the week will be the Irish Ball taking place on 31st March.

Arts Ball tickets sell out in a day BRIDGET FITZSIMONS Tickets for this year’s Arts Ball sold out just hours after going on sale, according to the event’s organisers. The black-tie event takes place this Thursday, 4th February at the Royal Marine Hotel in Dún Laoghaire.

The Ball had originally intended to host 25 to 30 tables, but has been expanded to include 40 tables as a result of the high demand for dinner tickets.

Tickets for an after-party, which earlier had not been arranged, have also been made available in response to the significant demand.

Students’ Union Arts Programme Officer, Jonny Cosgrove, said that even at the increased capacity the event had been unable to satisfy the demand for tickets, explaining that “we just couldn’t take any more in for the event.”

Expressing delight with the demand for tickets to the event, Cosgrove credited the fast sales of the tickets to cost-cutting measures pursued in the wake of last year’s event, which had to be cancelled due to financial difficulties and poor ticket sales.

2008’s Arts Ball, meanwhile, only sold out on the day it took place.

“Last year when the recession kicked in, that’s

when people’s belts started tightening,” Cosgrove explained, referring to the cancellation of last year’s Ball. “This year we really had to push it to make sure everything was as cheap as possible while still retaining everything.”

Cosgrove expressed regret at the need to call off the event and said he had responded by pledging to make this year’s Ball a priority during his term in office, sharing that “one of the things I promised last year if I got elected as Arts Programme Officer would be that I would make sure that it happened.”

The Ball is being organised jointly by Cosgrove, in his SU capacity, and the UCD Arts Society, or ArtsSoc, led by auditor Niamh Kiely. Cosgrove was quick to commend the efforts made by the ArtsSoc committee, who he said “absolutely broke themselves to make it work so it was a team effort… we’re all really happy with how it’s gone.”

The feasibility of the event appeared to be in doubt earlier this year after ArtsSoc, along with the B&L Society, were hit with a €5,000 fine by the Recognition Committee of UCD’s Societies Council after being found to have distributed offensive posters for an event at the start of the first semester.

The societies have declared their intent to appeal this fine, and the appeal is due to be heard in the coming weeks.

UCD Students’ Union President, Gary Redmond, has announced his intention to run for the presidency of the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) later this year.

If elected, Redmond will be the first UCD student to hold the position since Tom Duke held the top office of Irish student politics in 1993-94.

Speaking to The University Observer, Redmond stated that his year as president of UCDSU had inspired him to “make changes on a national level” and motivated the decision to run for USI. Redmond spoke of how he had enjoyed the work he had been doing this year on several levels, explaining that “as the president of the Union I’ve managed to achieve a lot, and make changes that I hope have been able to effect change in the average student’s life in UCD.” If elected, Redmond plans to prioritise a national campaign on a “radical overhaul of the grants system”, which he feels would greatly benefit current and future third-level students. He has also expressed plans to “continue the work we have done this year as a national union, and through all of my various colleagues across the country, in the fight against fees and the registration fee.”

Elections for the presidency take place at the USI’s Annual Congress, where delegates from affiliated Students’ Unions around the country elect members of USI’s officer board as well as debate motions on general union policy. Larger students’ unions, such as UCDSU, are permitted to send more delegates than smaller ones, thus enabling them to cast more votes.

As the president of a USI member union, Redmond is also entitled to nominate members of UCD Students’ Union for election to eight of USI’s eleven

officer positions. Redmond has not yet been approached by any other students seeking nomination to the board, but added that the deadline for submission of nominations did not fall until late February.

Asked whether he had considered making a fulltime career in politics, Redmond said he “hadn’t thought about it”, but claimed that the USI position would allow him to pursue his goal “of improving the lives of students all around the country.”

SU Welfare Update SVP Emergency Fund Clinic is based in Room G005 Newman Building on Tuesdays from 11am to 1pm. You can apply for a fund of up to €150 that can help you in your hour of need. For more information please email: welfare@ucdsu.ie.

SU Service Want to lose that L plate? Book your place with the SU discounted driving lessons provided by OBDrive. Lessons are €22.50 and you can book your place at email info@obdrive. com

MABS Clinic The Money Advice Budgeting Service clincs are coming back to UCD on Feb 17th and 24th from 12pm to 2pm. To book your place email mabs@ucdsu.ie.

Remember, the SU Welfare Officer Scott is always there to help if you encounter any difficulties. Email welfare@ucdsu.ie or call (01) 716 3112 to get in touch.

02.02.10

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Security condemned in Merville brawl Student requires emergency medical treatment after ‘Black Monday’ EILEEN CROWLEY

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tudents in the Merville apartments have condenmed the response of campus security and Residential Assistants to the ‘Black Monday’ riots in Merville apartments.

An altercation between two students that began in an apartment on Finlay Square in the Merville complex at about 10pm Monday 18th January led to a large-scale drunken brawl breaking out on the pavement outside.

One student involved in the altercation described the RAs as being “completely unable to control the crowds”, commenting that the riot was only brought under control after members of

An Garda Síochána were called in to disperse the crowds.

Several other students approached The University Observer to express their anger at the late arrival emergency services and the delay in dispersing the crowd.

Another nearby resident questioned the slow response of the campus security services, noting that it was only “after the Gardaí arrived that that the security vans showed up.” A unit of Dublin Fire Brigade

and an ambulance were also present at the scene.

One man was injured and required treatment by the ambulance team for a head injury, and witnesses confess they were surprised more people weren’t injured.

Gardaí at the scene took the names of some of the students involved in the brawl, but it is unclear whether the students in question will face legal proceedings, or any disciplinary action by residential management

or by the university itself.

The argument reportedly started with the refusal of one occupant of the apartment to allow entry to another group of students who wished to joing the party ongoing inside. The group then set off the fire alarm, which attracted the attention of the on-duty Residential Assisant (RA), who arrived on the scene as the altercation was breaking out. As the residents evacuated the building, the altercation between the two men that had begun upstairs, escalated to involve thirty to fifty people.

The University Observer could not contact the management of the campus residences for comment at the time of going to press.

Clubs and Socs prepare for 2010 Refreshers’ Day GAVAN REILLY

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tudents have a second chance to join a host of UCD’s clubs and societies this week at the fifth annual Refreshers’ Day, which takes place Wednesday, 3rd February, at the Astra Hall in the Student Centre.

37 clubs and 42 societies will take part in Refreshers’ Day this year, an increase on the last number of years.

Refreshers’ Day is an annual event, initiated in 2006, where the university’s many sports clubs and societies run stalls and hold events in a renewed attempt to gain more members, and to allow students a second chance at becoming members of, and getting involved in, UCD’s extra-curricular life. The event, which is modelled as a miniature version of the events of Fresher’s Week, also presents a “good opportunity for international students or Erasmus students who are only here for a single semester to see what’s on offer,” explained Chair of Societies Council, Stephen Whelan.

Whelan underlined the reason why such events have become regular fixtures in the student calendar, commenting that “UCD has possibly the strongest student life in Ireland in all measurable terms, but unfortunately what we don’t have is a great system to advertise that achievement, and keep the community abreast of everything that’s going on.

“Refreshers’ Day helps serve this purpose, and reminds students of the huge number of opportunities – get-

ting involved, attending events, meeting people, and so on – that are available to them through our clubs and societies.”

Whelan also stressed the particular opportunity that the event presented for UCD’s sports clubs. “Refreshers’ Day is usually more important for the clubs in particular because after the New Year,

people have new high hopes about getting involved and getting active, getting fit, so a lot of the clubs tend to pick up on their activity.

“Societies, coming up to election time, perhaps tend to slow down a little – but saying that, there are loads of societies that continue great work right up until the end of the year.”

Whelan concluded by expressing his satisfaction at the renewed interest in the event, which had seen a drop in student interested and participating clubs and societies since its initiation. “It’s good that more people are involved this year, because it means that people are taking it more seriously than maybe they have been in the last two years,” he explained, adding his hope that “it just gets bigger and better. It’s a good thing.”

Samuel L Jackson to host UCD event CATRIONA LAVERTY

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amuel L Jackson will host a special charity event in O’Reilly Hall on Saturday 13th February in aid of Irish Autism Action.

The event ‘Night For Love’ has been

organised in conjunction with the actor’s own charity foundation, the Samuel L Jackson Foundation, and is supported by several commercial sponsors.

Guests will be treated to a red carpet champagne arrival, followed by a Michelin Star dinner designed by Chef Richard Corrigan. Following this there

will be a live auction and performances by legendary singer Dionne Warwick accompanied by the Dublin Philharmonic Orchestra and orchestral group Escala.

Tickets for the event are priced at €500 each or tables of ten for €5,000. Visit www.soujar.com for booking details.

If you’ve something on your mind, just ReachOut.com 14937-ReachOut-UCD-Observer-315x40.indd 1

29/01/2010 11:41:28

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02.02.10

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UCD student’s novel to be made into film

Thank you

BRENDAN MAY

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UCD PhD student is set to have his awardwinning novel adapted into a film. Kevin Power’s Bad Day in Blackrock, which was published in 2008, won the 2009 Rooney Prize for Literature. Production company Element Studios has bought the rights to the adaptation and hope to begin filming shortly.

As the project is still in the preproduction stages, the film has yet to set a release date, and details of where and when it will start shooting are unknown as yet. Although the cast has yet to be confirmed, Irish filmmaker Lenny Abrahamson, whose work includes Garage and Adam & Paul, is already set to direct.

Power has expressed his hope that, as the book is “about a UCD story”, the decision will be made to film parts of the film on campus, but no formal announcements of filming arrangements have yet been made.

Power had not anticipated that film rights for the book would be pursued, and was surprised when Element Films approached his

agent for the rights to make a big-screen edition.

Power told The University Observer that the story of Bad Day in Blackrock did not seem “immediately cinematic” when he was writing it.

Power himself is not involved in writing the screenplay in any formal capacity, but has acknowledged his trust in the chosen screenwriter Malcolm Campbell who penned

Shameless and Skins. He admitted that the practice of screenwriting is new to him, and that he would find it difficult to adapt his own work, “because you’re so close to the original work.”

The author is similarly untroubled about the movie’s development potentially conflicting with the success of his book, saying that “the book will still be there,” and that “there’s just so much more cultural capital in a film. It’s so much more high-profile.”

The book, which examines the aftermath of the murder of a young man outside of a Donnybrook nightclub and its reflection of upper class Irish life more generally, is Power’s first novel and will be released in the UK this July.

Senators condemn O’Keeffe over NUI dissolution RACHEL O’NEILL NUI senator Joe O’Toole described the lack of consultation with the Senate over proposals to dissolve the National Universiy of Ireland as “a completely unacceptable move” on the Education Minister’s behalf.

Speaking to The University Observer, Senator O’Toole expressed his confidence that the NUI would remain in existence in some form, citing the current constitutional situation, and predicted that the government would choose to retain the NUI in a token umbrella role rather than legislate for Seanad reform. Senator O’Toole also said that “recognition must be given to the extraordinary contribution the NUI has made to Irish economic growth over the past hundred years.”

Senator O’Toole was joined in his censure by Senator David Norris, a current Trinity College senator, who agreed that the abolition was an anticonstructive move, describing the proposal as “ludicrous” and expressing doubt that the move would result in any government savings.

Minister for Education and Science, Batt O’Keeffe stated that he intends to tackle the issue of Seanad reform in its entirety, and would work with the Minister for the Environment, Heritage and Local Government, John Gormley TD. The proposal to dissolve the NUI has met with mixed reactions among member universities and

the NUI’s senators.

Minister O’Keeffe has cited the establishment of an amalgamated qualifications and quality assurance agency for higher education as the basis for his decision, announced two weeks ago. The Minister also stated that he felt the NUI is currently unsusSenator Joe O’Toole at a Human Rights rally tainable. The NUI is comprised of four on the form of legislation that the constitutent universities: UCD, UniMinister has in mind”, but said that versity College Cork, NUI Galway, UCD and the other constitutent and NUI Maynooth. universities were confident that Abolishing the NUI had been “it will be possible to work with recommended by An Bord Snip Government to come up with a Nua, chaired by UCD economist Dr solution that protects the integrity Colm McCarthy, which estimated and international reputation of the that the move could save the Irish NUI degree.” government in the region of €3m The proposed abolition has led per annum. O’Keeffe has stated, to renewed calls for reform of the however, that the decision had been membership of Seanad Éireann, made for the sake of re-organising to which graduates from NUI and and streamlining a quality assurance Trinity College elect three members agency for higher education, and each. Though a Constitutional referconceded that no financial gain endum in 1979 permits the governwould be made from this move. ment to enact legislation allowing NUI Chancellor Dr Maurice graduates of other institutions to Manning expressed his disappointelect members to the Seanad, no ment at the proposed abolition, such act has been passed. It’s underexplaining that the dissolution of stood that full abolition of the NUI the NUI would impact negatively on would require the government to higher education in Ireland. introduce legislation in this regard, UCD President Dr Hugh Brady paving the way for graduates of said that “the constituent universiother universities to elect senators. ties will be seeking clarification

UCD ISOC would like to thank everyone for their generosity in supporting the Haiti-Help Relief event last week.

The programme which took place from 25th to 27th January 2010 at The Atrium, Student Centre is one of the initiatives taken by UCD Islamic Society (ISOC). The total amount raised is estimated around €1000, in aid of the unfortunate Haitians whose land was hit by a massive earthquake.

The catastrophic earthquake occurred on 13th January 2010 and measured 7.0 on the Richter scale and believed to cost around 100,000 to 200,000 lives.

The society held a Cake Sale and the students gave an amazingly great support. Free coffee and tea were given out along with cakes and pastries. To increase funds, collection boxes were located in all three Muslim praying rooms around UCD; two in the Health Centre Building, and one in the Science Building.

This success follows the previous event, the Charity Week held also by UCD ISOC in collaboration with FOSIS (Federation of Student Islamic Societies); which managed to raise a total of €1850.

All praises be to Allah. We pray that this small amount

will give some ray of hope for the Haitians. A big thank you to everyone who contributed in this event. Without you, this event will not be a success. It was related on the authority of Abu Hurairah(the prophet’s companion) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whosoever relieves from a believer some grief pertaining to this world, Allah will relieve from him some grief pertaining to the Hereafter.

Whosoever alleviates the difficulties of a needy person... that cannot pay his debt, Allah will alleviate his difficulties in both this world and the Hereafter...”

UCD Newman Fund Students are invited to apply now for a grant from the Newman Fund. The Newman Fund is a sum of money which derives from ‘capitation’ funds coming to the Student Consultative Forum and is administered by a committee of the Forum.

It is designed to fund activities which are not organised by the recognised clubs and societies in the University; any individual or group of students may apply for financial support for their project.

Recent successful applications have included: -

European Architecture Students’ Assembly Postgraduates’ Ball Newman Community Games UCD Community Musical Seachtain na Gaeilge Vet Students Carol Service

The next meeting of the Committee is on February 17th so applications should be lodged before February 10th, 2010.

Application Forms are available in the Forum Office.

All applications or queries should be emailed to elizabeth.cronin@ucd.ie or sent by post to the Forum Office, Student Centre, UCD.

02.02.10

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WIT students may strike over exams row BRIDGET FITZSIMONS

Candidates declare for SU elections BRIDGET FITZSIMONS

A number of candidates have declared their intention to run for the five fulltime sabbatical positions within UCD Students’ Union next month, ahead of the nominations deadline on Thursday 11th February.

So far two candidates have announced their plans to run for the Union presidency. Current Education Vice-President, Donnacha O’Súillebháin, looks set to contest the election against his immediate predecessor, former Education Vice-President Paul Lynam. Ó Súilleabháin, who is currently on leave from a degree in Neuroscience, has expressed interest in the role as he wishes to continue on from the work that he has done in the past year, stating that “I believe that I can continue that role as President and that I can build on what I’ve done this year.” Lynam has shared similar motivation, saying the job of President was “something I’ve always wanted to do and I wouldn’t be running if I didn’t think that I was the best person for it.” Lynam added that “there are a lot of initiatives that I started last year that I’d like to see finished off.”

Third year Arts student Colm Maguire and second year Law and Politics student Pat de Brún have both confirmed their interest in the position of Campaigns and Communications Vice-President.

Maguire says he is confident of his chances, being the current LGBT Rights Officer for the SU. Meanwhile De Brún, who is currently Law Programme Officer, feels that he is suited for the job as he is passionate in both the campaigns and communications aspects of the job as he

“loves dealing with people.”

It currently appears that the Welfare election may be an uncontested race, with incumbent Welfare Vice-President Scott Ahearn preparing to run for election for the position for the third year in succession. Ahearn, a history graduate, feels that “so much has been achieved in regards to financial assistance, welfare services and campaigns” during his tenure, and said that “students need support now more than ever.”

The election of the new Education Vice-President may also be a one-horse race, with third year Medicinal Chemistry student and current Science Programme Officer James Williamson the only declared candidate so far. Williamson feels his time as the SU’s chief Science representative has influenced him to run for Education Vice-President, telling The University Observer that “I get enjoyment out of the educational aspect. That’s what’s spurred me on.”

Final year Arts student Jonny Cosgrove will be competing against fellow Arts student Jamie White for the position of Entertainments Vice-President. While White declined to comment other than to confirm his decision to run, Cosgrove told The University Observer that he was confident of his chances, citing his experience with a number of societies and in nightclub promotions and promising “put my own angle on it instead of making it the same old, same old” should he be elected.

Sabbatical elections are due to take place on 3rd and 4th March, with formal campaigning starting on 22nd February.

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n internal industrial dispute in Waterford Institute of Technology (WIT) may cause students to strike today, Tuesday 2nd February. The dispute, which has arisen over payments to lecturers for examinations, may cause exam results to be released later than scheduled.

The University Observer understands that the dispute is related to demands for payments relating to semesterisation.

WIT only became semesterised at the beginning of the current academic year, meaning lecturers were expected to set and mark two sets of exams. However discord has arisen as most lecturers had been employed under terms relating to only one set of end of year exams. It is believed that lecturers had expected to receive additional payment in respect for the extra marking they were required to do. The lecturers have thus threatened to pursue industrial action against the institute through the local sector of the Teachers’ Union of Ireland (TUI).

At the time of going to press, it was unclear what action the Students’ Union at WIT had decided to take against the possible delays in the release of examination results. A meeting of SU Council

WITSU President Cathy Pembroke pictured left took place last night at which students were to decide what line of action was most appropriate to take.

Exam results were scheduled to be released today, 2nd February, but The University Observer understands that students may walk out of lectures in protest if delays occur in their results being released. However, at the time of going to press, WITSU President Cathy Pembroke was quick to emphasise that a course of action has not yet been decided upon, and that “WIT Students’ Union has been in constant contact with both parties and

is bringing updates to students as they happen.”

The introduction of semesterisation has caused various logistical problems in many of Ireland’s larger third-level institutes. In 2005, UCD’s registration system was bombarded with confused users who were unsure of the new system and its various logistical problems, while many students found themselves unable to enrol in core modules due to timetabling conflicts. Trinity College Dublin has also experienced some difficulties having become semesterised this year.

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Belfield the most expensive Irish campus to live on undersubscribed, with UCD’s commercial office struggling to convince students of the merits of living on the Belfield campus.

While the university has not formally acknowledged that there are empty places remaining on the residences, a circular email was distributed to all students in early December informing them that rooms were still available in a number of campus complexes.

The UCD residences have seen their rents increased by between seven to nine per cent, despite the general drop in property prices over the last eighteen months. This increase makes UCD’s on-campus accommodation

the most expensive in the country.

It has become standard practice in recent years for campus rents to be increased by between five and ten per cent annually, which had previously been in line with inflation in the property market. However, the most recently available CSO figures for property inflation suggests that prices fell by 28 per cent in the twelve months to August of this year.

Students have also expressed concerns that the current payment scheme, where they pay the full amount of their year’s rent in two equal instalments, is untenable given their current financial circumstances.

The Students’ Union has pledged to

lobby for this scheme to be abandoned in favour of more regularlised monthly payments.

The slow uptake of campus places has also put a strain on the university’s finances. Rent from campus residences is currently being used to fund construction on the new Roebuck 2 complex, due to be opened in September providing 113 new beds.

SU President Gary Redmond told The University Observer that “if the university doesn’t decrease its prices, the university will get itself into serious trouble,” and believes that “severe questions must be asked” over the current pricing structure for campus accommodation.

Staff unsure when to ‘Shelter Shut Listen’ MATT GREGG

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taff attending a meeting about UCD’s new Emergency Response Plan were left confused as to their course of action should they encounter an emergency while teaching.

According to the ‘Shelter, Shut, Listen’ protocol, staff are to immediately take to their offices in case of campus emergency to ensure they remain contactable.

However, many staff felt the guidelines failed to prescribe the appropriate action to take if they were lecturing when news of an emergency broke, as retreating to their office would constitute a dereliction of duty towards their students who would be left alone in classrooms or theatres.

Confusion arose following a presentation by members of the University’s Critical Incident Response and Management team on Tuesday 26th January.

Dr Padraic Conway, the co-ordinator of UCD’s Emergency Response Plan, suggested at the meeting that the choice of whether to leave students in a classroom would be that of individual staff member involved, but remarked that it would be prudent for a lecturer to stay with their students, particularly if the theatre was equipped with a working computer or telephone.

It is understood that staff would be informed of an emergency situation through a combination of text messages, emails and phone calls. However, this system has been deemed unreliable and overly dependent on external networks which not be able to support the level of traffic required to spread the information quickly across campus.

The primary aim of UCD’s Emergency Response Plan is to “provide a framework for the co-ordination of the university’s

response to any critical incidents.” The plan defines a critical incident as anything that “could cause a major disruption to the operation of the university” or “cause injury or loss of life to staff, students and visitors to the university”. The University Observer understands that any incident which could cause environmental damage will also be dealt with under the Emergency Response Plan.

Foreseeable incidents have been graded along a three-tier system ranging from smaller inconveniences such as burst pipes, to worst-case scenarios such as “a hostage situation involving multiple students”, with tailored strategies created for each.

It has also emerged that UCD is presently applying for planning permission to install a campus-wide siren system, which would be activated on the development of an emergency, providing instant

notification to the UCD community of any emergency conditions.

Dr Conway expressed satisfaction with the progress the Emergency Response Plan within the campus, pointing to the relatively small impact of Swine Flu on campus as evidence of its success. However, Dr Conway was keen to emphasise that development of the plan could never

be completed, as the plan be need to be continuously updated as new situations came to light.

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02.02.10

ANALYSIS

news@universityobserver.ie

A question of overheads As UCD is revealed to have the most expensive campus accommodation in the country, Quinton O’Reilly asks how such costs can be justified

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or the majority of students, the cost of living is an unavoidable and pressing concern. Being able to fund the price of fees, books, transport, food and an active social life are some of the many costs that must be budgeted for. However, the single greatest cost that students will face is the price of accommodation.

Finding a place to live when you’ve only just moved out of home is a significant challenge - which is why one of the most attractive options that new students face is the chance to live on campus with immediate access to its facilities, the chance to live with other students, and to reside in a safe and secure environment.

However, a report compiled by UCD Students’ Union has revealed that the cost of on-campus accommodation in UCD is the most expensive of all the universities in Ireland. A student could be paying up to €5,324 per year for the opportunity to live on-campus compared to €4,916 at Trinity College Dublin, €4,180 in Maynooth and €4,881 at UCC. While the price of rent in Dublin city has decreased in recent times, UCD has bucked the trend by increasing its own by an average of five per cent each year since 2004.

We must question what reasoning the university has for increasing these costs. The main reason behind this increase in pricing would usually be pinned down to demand.

For a university that hosts over 20,000 students, campus accommodation can only facilitate around 3,000 students, or 15 per cent, of the student population. However, the extortinate prices charged by UCD on-campus accomodation means that it is struggling to fill rooms.

In an economic context, since there is a high demand for a very limited number of places, increasing the prices would make

sense if UCD would then receive more funds without experiencing a drop in numbers. The University’s usual plan has failed this year, though, as places remain unfilled and unwanted due to the high cost and relatively poor amenities.

If the university are following this logic of supply and demand, they are effectively alienating those who may not have the financial means to afford this accommodation

and prioritising those who can. Students today are facing a vastly different world than those who attended university five years ago.

Personal income has dropped, unemployment has risen, part-time work is becoming harder to find, and a record number of students are now applying to the student welfare fund for financial support.

Students are under more financial pressure than ever before, and maintaining or

increasing this level of costs will only exacerbate this problem. Not only will it limit the options for those who can’t afford it, it could mean that the only students who will live there are the ones who can afford to pay such sums – prioritising those who can afford it rather than those who need it and would benefit from it the most. Would it be fair if, for example, a student who suffers from a disability is unable to have access to something they’d consider a necessity and not just a convenience, simply because they are unable to afford it?

Similarly, when one considers that the cost of off-campus accommodation has fallen over the last few months, living elsewhere has become a more feasible option for students who need to be more stringent with their finances. It makes perfect sense to pay for a cheaper option if there is very little difference, if any, between them.

A further deterrent could be the social aspect of campus life. While it is true that living on campus offers residents easy access to the campus and its facilities, the majority of campus facilities are closed at weekends – leaving little benefit to being on campus at that time. Such issues must be considered by the university if campus accommodation is to remain an attractive option for students.

While it is uncertain whether or not the university will increase the cost of accommodation for the coming year, it must clearly review the situation and decide whether charging such amounts will benefit them in the long run. While there are plans to increase the number of spaces on campus, it is clear that UCD is already feeling the financial pressure of being overpriced and lacking in applicants to fill the rooms it already has, without even thinking of the ones it is now building.

Student services swindle As the heads of universities admit that the student registration charge is fees by the back door, Bridget Fitzsimons analyses the charge and questions its place

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News Editor

hat we all knew has finally been admitted to. Last week, at a session of the Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Science, Ireland’s seven university leaders openly declared that the student registration fee is, in essence, a form of fees by the back door.

The session came to being when Students’ Union presidents from UCD and Trinity, Gary Redmond and Conan Ó Bróin, requested detailed breakdowns of the student registration fee and what it is spent on. When the charge was introduced in 1996, it was stated that it would be used solely for administrative issues relating to student registration, examinations and student services. However, this became problematic when it was realised that there is no legal definition of ‘tuition’ or of ‘student services’.

Since then, it seems as if universities have decided to pick and choose what qualifies as a student service. Traditionally, one would assume that this covers student health, counselling, clubs and societies as well as registration and examination charges.

This year, however, UCD is counting the library as a student service.

With such blatant misrepresentation of an academic service as a student one, there is clearly a need for student services to be defined.

We all know that the registration charge is a fee for attending university. At €1,500, it is hardly pocket change. It is a huge sum, especially for families who fall just over the bracket to qualify for third level grants. University leaders have been open about this fact for quite a while – in particular DCU’s President, Professor Ferdinand von Pronzynski – but this is the first time that UCD’s leader, Dr Hugh Brady,

has admitted this. It is also the first time that all university leaders have come together to admit the existence of third-level fees.

Both Redmond and Ó Bróin have estimated that, out of the €1,500 registration fee charged to students, about €500 goes toward true student services.

They put forward two alternatives: giving students €1,500 worth of student services or lessening the charge considerably.

In truth, neither of these options are viable. While it was easy to be anti-fees during the boom years, the reality is that universities are in troubled times.

UCD alone runs a deficit estimated to be around €15m per annum. While it is undoubtedly morally dubious that funds have been effectively stolen from students, the state that universities are in means that there is little alternative other than to reintroduce third level fees.

Clearly, cuts need to be made to all the decorative boards and titles that UCD, in particular, seems to revel in creating. Those at the top should not be earning ludicrous salaries when we are all suffering.

Everyone has to pay – students included.

We cannot continue to expect taxpayers to shoulder the burden of our education in a time when everyone is suffering financially. Reform, however, must come from both sides. If students are expected to pay, then real change must occur in universities to make them as efficient as possible. Despite what those at the top may think, this should involve the dissolution of certain positions and boards that are clearly not doing anything of value for staff or students.

The reality is that the situation we are in is unsustainable, and it is time for some transparency to

come into universities. It is grossly unethical for funds that are intended to go into student services to be diverted to other sources. Maybe we should be glad, as Redmond and Ó Bróin are, that the university leaders are finally being honest and confirming what we have known for a long time.

Perhaps this can usher in a new age of honesty within universities – an age that can continue with the summoning of Minister for Education, Batt O’Keeffe TD, to the committee at his earliest convenience.

In bringing this case to the Joint Oireachtas Committee, the SU leaders have made progress to force authorities to properly define and fund student services.

Transparency is what students need, but we need to take stock of our own responsibilities as well as lashing out at those in charge.

As soon as students realise this, and university leaders understand the importance of being honest with their students, then third level education can begin to repair itself in times of economic difficulty.

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THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

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COMMENT

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A wake-up call for the White House As the Republicans celebrate a major political coup in winning the Senate seat of the late Democrat heavyweight Ted Kennedy, Conor Feeney reflects on the challenges now facing the Obama executive in quest for hope and change

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he recent election of Republican Scott Brown to the United States Senate is a strong indicator of tremendous shifts on the US political landscape, not least because the seat was formerly held by the late Senator Edward Kennedy. In fact, Kennedy’s Democratic Party have held the seat for over 50 years.

Senator-elect Brown – who in his early years posed naked for Cosmopolitan magazine – rode a wave of independent frustration to score the most stunning political upset in recent US history. His cause was helped by the lax campaign of Martha Coakley, his Democrat opponent and Massachusetts State attorney. Brown managed to overturn a 30-point polling deficit two weeks before the ballot to win with 52 per cent of the vote. The defeat is a wake-up call for the Obama Administration. Significantly, the Democrats have lost their 60th vote in the Senate, and can no longer railroad through Republican opposition in attempts to pass bills.

The cornerstone of President Obama’s domestic policy agenda is now under threat. Healthcare reform has been a top priority for his administration since its first day in office. It is a fact that in the world’s richest country, over 40 million Americans remain without health insurance.

Brown’s win creates a new terrifying dynamic for the Obama administration, where every state will be considered “unsafe” come the midterm elections later this year. Brown is an articulate and effec-

tive speaker, despite his unusual past for a politician, who campaigned hard and vigorously pressed flesh throughout Massachusetts. After his startling win in one of the heartlands of Democratic politics, he may now even be considered a potential challenger to Obama when re-election comes around in 2012. It is virtually impossible to imagine a Democrat winning the presidential election without carrying Massachusetts.

Ironically, however, the loss has presented President Obama with an opportunity to correct some of his perceived mistakes. A recent Gallup poll showed Obama to be one of the most polarising candidates since polling records began, and so the challenge of unifying the political and social spheres of the U.S. will be greater for Obama than most.

“Here’s what I ask of Congress,” President Obama recently stated on the issue of healthcare reform. “Do not walk away from reform. Not now. Not when we are so close. Let us find a way to come together and finish the job for the American people.” The appetite of the American public for real change is undoubted, but Obama must be mindful of the scepticism that can arise when promises are not matched with quick action – especially given the current volatility.

One sure result of the Massachusetts election is that it is now highly unlikely that Congress will pass any climate change legislation, as the already-unpopular proposed ‘Cap and Trade’ Bill – which would have, for the first time, created a

limit on overall emissions in the US – is surely dead. Businesses exceeding their emissions caps would have been fined under the legislation, leading many to hope that the U.S. may have led the charge in developing sustainable green forms of energy.

President Obama’s recent State of the Union address was geared to reflect the growing chasm in American politics. The pledge for real healthcare reform remains, however, along with issues such as allowing gays to serve in the military. It is clear now that the White House is leaning towards a more populist agenda, particularly in proposing a spending freeze to cut down on a record budget deficit, and systemic reforms of the banking sector. A ‘Move your Money’ campaign has been spawned by the left, in which savers have been encouraged to move their savings to community banks.

The question now being posed by American political commentators is whether President Obama can turn his words into action. It seems one of the few remaining undeniable truths is that the American public are far more sceptical that they were just a year ago. The hope remains, but the enthusiasm for ‘change’ has been severely damaged. Towards the end of the State of the Union, Obama stated: “I never suggested that change would be easy, or that I could do it alone.”

Now more than ever has the White House realised that the American people’s patience – and even desire – for President Obama’s change is wearing thin.

Credit where Credits due The introduction of an extra-curricular credits scheme would be hurtful to student life, writes Paul Fennessy

The proposed plans to pilot and subsequently implement a programme whereby students acquire academic credits for their extra-curricular activities is both unnecessarily complex and antagonistic to the underlying spirit of UCD’s societies and clubs.

This paper reported in its last edition of how “students would have to apply for extra-curricular accreditation in advance of the semester”, adding that the plan would seek to “mirror the offering in Dublin City University […] where students can currently gain academic credits for

extra-curricular activity.”

There are two immediately discernible flaws within the scheme. Firstly, the implication that the system would potentially operate on a first-come-first-served basis could result in severe inequities, given the selective basis of the credits’ distribution.

It seems grossly unfair that a person with peripheral involvement in a society who applies early would be rewarded, notwithstanding the harder-working, more involved colleagues of the candidate who – for whatever reason – neglected to be considered for extra-curricular accredita-

tion.

Secondly, the proposition to emulate the aforementioned Dublin City University format is highly contentious. Granted, DCU’s unique system has obviously been relatively successful, owing to the fact that it has persevered since its inception in February 2004.

According to CampusEngage.ie, DCU’s ‘Uaneen module’ – akin to the intentions of the prospective UCD project – provides students with the opportunity to gain credits in “a range of non-academic activities” encompassing “the sporting, political and creative to the community and social”.

A prevailing concern is how it might be feasible to judge performances in areas as notoriously subjective as politics and sport. In the latter field, one could imagine a farcical, Fantasy Football-style situation where a student drops points for being booked, or gains points for keeping a clean sheet.

In this respect, will each individual sporting candidate’s portfolio (a pre-requisite amid the conclusion of the module) mainly consist of a series of statistics relating to their on-field performance?

Assuming this slightly ludicrous scenario is fully realised, will players whose clubs are relegated, or who are consistently left out of the first team, fail to pass the module?

Additionally, this highly unconventional method seems unduly prejudicial against students who participate in volunteer work – or are involved in sports clubs – outside of UCD. Moreover, it does not allow for those students who regularly relinquish precious time washing dishes at home, or

babysitting their younger brothers and sisters.

The crux of the matter is that the new system would accentuate the bourgeoning unwillingness in our culture to expend energy, unless the benefits for doing so are clear and immediate – and it subsequently begs the question: where do you draw the line if you start awarding academic credits for patently non-academic activities?

There are undoubtedly some virtues in adopting the DCU format. The greater numbers which an introduction of the proposal will surely prompt, should enable the clubs and societies’ efficiency levels to prosper. In addition, they will not endure as great a struggle to recruit members – a factor which has proved problematic for many of them in the past.

Most importantly though, the majority of these clubs and societies will receive greater funding from the membership fees which are usually mandatory, thus lessening the onus on UCD to alleviate their financial woes.

Keeping in mind the scheme’s virtues and regardless of its seeming impracticality, the possibility of a seamless introduction of an extra-curricular accreditation system that functions adequately can still legitimately be supported, despite the overt ambition of its aims. What cannot be vouched for is the overall impact it will have on the societies and clubs’ inherent ethos.

Allow me to digress momentarily by way of an analogy in the form of the Film Studies courses in UCD. For three years, I was fortunate enough to take an elective in

the subject on account of my love of film.

Sadly though, each year – without exception – I came across students with a blatant lack of interest in film, who took the course because they simply thought it was an easy route to passing a subject. Simultaneously, this meant that many students with a pure love of cinema (whom I also encountered) were unable to take the course, as it was consistently full up.

Societies and clubs are an intrinsic part of life in UCD. I emphasise ‘life’ because it is also, in my opinion, what these societies and clubs ultimately constitute. And life, needless to say, is about so much more than improving your GPA. Societies and clubs, therefore, invariably serve as respite from academic pressure.

Amalgamating these two infinitely different entities would seriously debilitate the level of enjoyment that generally represents the primary purpose of their respective practices.

Furthermore, activation of these new initiatives would – as with the previous example of Film Studies – ensure that societies and clubs are infiltrated by students concerned primarily with the sole and vacuous aim of attaining an easy pass grade, thus reducing the opportunities for students with a genuine passion for the society or club in question.

Ultimately, the onset of these cynical, Machiavellian students – in conjunction with the extra-curricular credits scheme – would cause greater harm than good to the various clubs and societies, as these students would inevitably view such an exercise as “a piece of piss” in their parlance.

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02.02.10

COMMENT

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The Evolution revolution The debate between Evolution and Creationism in the classroom rages on. David Osborn makes the case for the sole tuition of Evolution and discusses why this centuries-old argument needs to be put to bed for good

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volution is a fact. Beyond reasonable doubt, beyond serious doubt, beyond educated, informed scientific doubt; it is a fact beyond doubt. With more evidence than there is for the Holocaust, evolution is at least as robust as the Atomic Theory or Germ Theory.

Evolution holds that all life evolved from simpler life, in a series of non-random steps which took place over millions of generations. Intelligent Design, also known as Creationism, is the claim that life is too complex to have arisen naturally, and therefore must have had an intelligent (and presumably more complex) designer, i.e. God. Despite the evidence, many people don’t accept evolution to be true, and quite a number reject it outright. The reasons for this are twofold: one is a total lack of understanding of the concepts involved, and the other is the deliberate ignorance of science because it clashes with religion. Those who reject it outright are sure that it is false because their religion requires it to be so, and they see the teaching of evolution as an assault on their religion (it is noteworthy that educated religious leaders accept evolution,

from the Archbishop of Canterbury to the Pope).

But why are Creationists dangerous?

Surely scientists can just get on and do science, and ignore those who don’t understand it and choose to disregard it? Sadly not. Creationists are highly influential, conspicuously well-funded, and growing in number. These are people who are hostile to science by their nature; they believe that everything they need to know was given to them by God in their holy books. They have powerful elected officials (even Prime Ministers and Presidents such as Tony Blair and George Bush) fighting for their cause.

To make things worse, the leaders of the ID movement are also prolific liars – people who deliberately misrepresent evolution to make it seem less plausible than it is, and who have ultimately manufactured the myth that there is actually a serious debate raging. They are dangerous because they are trying and succeeding to legislate for religion against science, using tax money. In some US states, biology textbooks must have stickers saying that evolution is “only a theory”, or that it is an unproven hypothesis – both misrepresentations so severe that they are essentially lies. In Britain, the government gives support to religious schools which teach that science is wrong if it contradicts the bible.

Being fundamentally opposed to science, Creationism perpetuates itself by teaching people to fear and mistrust in science, to avoid exposing themselves to the writings of scientists, and to value their own personal opinions and beliefs over conclusions arrived at by diligent research and supported by empirical evidence. Academic freedom and scientific integrity are

“Fundamentally opposed to science, Creationism perpetuates itself by teaching people to fear and mistrust in science”

at risk in the face of Creationism. Science holds authority because it is the proven way of discovering how the world works, but this authority is being undermined by people who claim they already know how the world works, whose way is sacred and God-given. Anything opposing their view is wrong and even dangerous to their faith.

This view is spreading, and Turkey is no longer the only democracy in the world to have a majority reject the grand unifying principle of biology. Some polls show that 47 per cent of Americans reject evolution.

It is also no longer a mainly American phenomenon: in Britain, a majority now feel Creationism and evolution should be given equal time, and over a quarter believe Creationism to be the literal truth.

Among the Muslim world, acceptance of evolution is very low.

In fact in most educated countries,

Creationism is gaining ground. This is not because it has merit. It is simply two things: fear on the part of people in authority of offending religious sensibilities; and ignorance about science, because admittedly, science can be hard to grasp, or even to believe, because it is so magical.

Now more than ever, human civilisation is dependent on understanding science and technology. Issues like climate change and alternative energy, genetic manipulation and cloning, stem cell and other medical research, environmental destruction and species extinction are all complex matters, and we as a people cannot hope to make the right decisions if we do not possess an understanding of the science involved. Without such an understanding, there is no way to separate facts from hype, spin, and fiction.

What is to be done? Simple: every person should pick up a book and learn

about evolution, and the scientific community must unite and confront this mortal enemy. Evolution is true, and it must be taught that it is true, why it is true, and why Creationism isn’t. The alternative is to watch as more and more people know less and less about science, until eventually, in the words of Carl Sagan, this combustible mixture of ignorance and power blows up in our faces. In this modern world science is power: power over nature, power over ourselves and our destinies, power over the fate of our entire species, and even over life and death. We must not allow it to be overcome by this threat.

David Osborn is Auditor of the UCD Secular Humanist Society. PZ Myers will deliver a talk called ‘Creation and Complexity’ at 6:30pm this evening (Tuesday) in Theatre B, Science Hub.

Libel tourism ‘eroding free speech’ The UK’s archaic libel laws are posing a major threat to freedom of expression the world over, writes Conor O’Keeffe The unencumbered pursuit of greater knowledge and understanding is the foundation upon which human knowledge must grow. Striving to touch these elusive stars, the great minds of our generation must not be hampered, but instead be free to explore and discover.

Draconian British libel laws and their derivative – ‘libel tourism’, a topic that is attracting increasing attention from lawmakers and commentators in both the UK and the US –threatens to inhibit these great minds and restrict our pursuit of knowledge.

‘Libel tourism’, a phrase coined by leading British lawyer Geoffrey Robertson QC, describes a genre of forum shopping where plaintiffs pursue those who they believe have tarnished their good name and reputation, not in the jurisdiction where the publication was made and the alleged offence caused, but in more friendly, foreign courts. To date, London has been the tourist destination of choice for the wealthy, sparking widespread criticism, reforms and reviews, intimating that the time for the UK’s libel laws to change

is imminent.

Two critical factors can be identified as the root of this problem. Firstly, libel law in the UK is heavily weighted in favour of the plaintiff: it attributes significantly more weight to the importance of protecting the good name of a person than it does to freedom of speech. The adoption of this stance alone sets the UK on a collision course with the U.S., a place where the First Amendment and the right of the fourth estate to analyse and criticise reigns supreme.

The potential negative consequences for academic debate and science of this biased law can be seen from the famous Simon Singh case. Singh (pictured), a muchrespected scientist, is being sued by the British Chiropractic Society for criticising its members’ claims that they could treat a variety of illnesses, including child colic, asthma and prolonged crying. Singh, who feels a professional and moral obligation to defend himself and has engendered strong support from writers and journalists, faces the prospect of a bill in excess of £1m should he lose. Singh’s case pinpoints

the nub of this debate: in the U.S., a claim like his would never reach a courtroom.

In the UK, commentators decline to predict the outcome of the case.

Secondly, unlike both the U.S. and Ireland, British libel law persists with the archaic ‘Multiple Publication’ rule. This rule, which can be traced to case law from 1849, provides that that each and every publication of defamatory material establishes a separate cause of action. In these days of Twitter and instantaneous online media, such a rule exposes a publisher to the prospect of innumerable libel actions from all corners of the globe. It is this very rule that facilitates the pursuit of American writers in the British courts, and that threatens the core American Constitutional right that American courts so cherish.

Anger at libel tourism is widespread.

American civil rights activists and newspapers regularly scream about how the UK’s archaic and arrogant laws violate the very core of their democracy and Constitution, the First Amendment. These calls have not fallen on deaf ears: the State

of New York, in 2009, introduced the Libel Terrorism Protection Act, which codifies the existing common law rule allowing America courts to refuse to enforce the judgments of foreign courts. The New York Act has provided a role that other states have followed, and federal legislation modelled on the Act is currently before Congress. America means business: it has taken a stance.

Jack Straw, the British Secretary of State for Justice, has also succumbed to deafening domestic and international pressure, and acknowledged the need for reform. In the past two weeks he has announced sweeping reforms of the costs regime for libel actions, severely curtailing the fees that British libel law-

yers can charge, and will have received a comprehensive review of the UK’s libel law by May. Let us hope that the voice of free speech deafens the stifling cries of the minority, who seek to use UK law as a tool of suppression.

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COMMENT

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Education: The Next Generation James Fagan discusses the reasons behind Batt O’Keeffe’s decision to dissolve the National University of Ireland, and examines the Government’s options in improving higher education

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Comment Editor

wo weeks ago, Batt O’Keeffe, announced his intention to abolish the National University of Ireland.

The decision to remove the body, whose job is to oversee entry matriculation, quality assurance and to award degrees, has been controversial, with opposition politicians and student representatives criticising it. I, however, welcome this move.

The problem that afflicts the NUI is as simple as it is untenable. Set up in 1908 at the behest of the universities, it’s a toothless paper tiger. When the goal of a body is to ensure the smooth running and quality of a sector, it should have no historical ties.

In its current structure, the NUI is relatively unchanged from what it was 100 years ago, predating the current existence of the Irish Free State. The intervening century has seen radical social, economic and, to a degree, political change. Several new universities and higher education institutions have appeared, offering novel and highly coveted courses. If a body has not adapted to incorporate these changes, it is best cut. To restructure the NUI from its current form would be a waste of money.

One of the more interesting criticisms levelled at the abolition of the institution is that there will be a loss of “brand” power. The argument goes that NUI is a well-respected label which is internationally renowned. This is false - the university rankings show us that. Of the top 200 in the list, the only Irish universities are Trinity and UCD. Brand name recognition? No. The NUI prefix is nowhere in their names, and only one of those two – UCD – falls under its umbrella. Name recognition comes from

universities themselves and how they perform individually. The dinosaur of the NUI doesn’t have any measurable impact. And as for its contribution to Seanad Éireann? That waste of space is another article in itself.

The Government’s responsibility for providing education includes the duty to ensure bureaucratic efficiency. This may sound like an oxymoron, but it’s a dearth of bad governmental decisions that has conditioned the populous to think that way. Without an efficient governing body, no meaningful improvements can come about.

One of the best methods of ensuring this efficiency is to engage in the principle of subsidiarity, where decisions are taken at the lowest level possible of an organisational hierarchy. Control bodies like the NUI should be stopping universities from creating self-serving agendas resulting in poor allocation of resources, while preventing the doubling-up of jobs.

The other aspect of an efficient bureaucracy is that decision-making ought to be centralised – there shouldn’t be multiple agencies carrying out the same decisions and processes. When this occurs we see bloated employment sectors, money wasted on redundant employees, and confusion for the public as to whom they should approach.

Removing NUI is only the first step towards a solution; it obviously needs to be replaced with a more dynamic body, but doing so straight away wouldn’t fix the problem of multiplicity.

At the moment there are several authorities overseeing education in Ireland. The NUI covers seven institutions; HETAC oversees Institutes of Education (except for

DIT) and all non-university providers of Level 7-10 programmes; FETAC oversees further education at levels 1-6, while the NQAI oversees FETAC, HETAC and DIT, but not the universities. Ireland is this pantson-head shambolic.

The best move forward is a single body that would greatly simplify quality assurance, ensuring ease of comparability between institutions, and allow students to easily progress through Further, Higher and ultimately Postgraduate education. Internationally it would improve Irish education as a brand, because it can stand behind all institutions. However that is another tricky situation, as to have a truly world class education sector would require an overhaul of the universities themselves.

In short, we have too many. As an island of roughly four million in population we have seven universities, 14 institutes of technology, and more than thirty other institutions stretching Government budgets to straining point. Even if fees were reintroduced, funds are too lightly spread between these institutions to really accelerate their quality.

Underestimating the importance of internationally competitive graduates is a death sentence on any society wanting the best

for its citizens. They create the most value on work, create innovative deals and inspire and become tomorrow’s leaders.

The best method would be to create regional centres. For example TCD, DCU, UCD and NUIM could become a University of Dublin, whether federal like the University of London and sharing resources such as libraries, or more central like Oxford with TCD being the centerpiece. In the latter example each institution would become a campus. Funding could be allocated in a much more targeted fashion as each university could share its knowledge and expertise

resulting in stronger faculties all round.

Some might argue that this would result in job losses and costs to the taxpayer – all the usual bleeding-heart opposition to long-term change that fills political debates.

We need to take a long-term view about the future of our country, however, and need to be educated to create more industries with more jobs that have higher wages for all.

Having a bias as to the effects of restructuring and reforming is what has hindered us so far. Now is the time to make tough decisions and the abolition of NUI is the first step.

Could an extremist be correct?

Anjem Choudary, leader of the recently outlawed Islam4UK group that seeks Sharia law for Britain, tells Alex Court of his belief that troops aren’t in Afghanistan to restore democracy Anjem Choudary, an ex-lawyer from East London, has featured repeatedly in the press recently. Alan Johnson, the head of Britain’s Home Office, has banned Choudary’s Islam4UK organisation; since 14th January, people who claim membership of the group may face up to ten years in prison. The government says it is a precaution to protect the British population from radical militant Muslims, Choudary says it is for other reasons.

So, what does Islam4UK do? Is it really so dangerous and nasty that Brits need protection from it? The group’s main aim is to make Britain a Muslim country ruled

by Sharia Law. With their particular dislike of man-made rules, Choudary says the group “will continue until the Sharia is implemented in Britain, and one day we do believe that the flag of Islam will fly over 10 Downing Street.”

Far too many people in Ireland understand Sharia as a horrible, brutal thing, being only exposed to the word in articles concerning al-Qaeda, Taliban and al-Shabab in Somalia, and never in less extreme contexts.

In Arabic, Sharia means “the clear, welltrodden path to water”. It does not mean, as some have glibly suggested, ‘stone adulterous woman to death’ or ‘cut the hands off thieves’. It has only taken these obnoxious connotations because of the actions of extremist regimes, justifying

their inhumane punishments through their own (mis)interpretations.

Muslims have Shari just as Christians have Commandments. Muslims believe their guide to have been given to the prophet Mohammed by Allah, and follow it in preparation for the next life.

Choudary’s goal, though, seems silly. The UK is yet to have a nonChristian Prime Minister, suggesting that the only way the Muslim flag might be hoisted is through (violent) revolution – not something that a country that has thrived on democracy for centuries needs.

Furthermore, democracy is not something Choudary endorses, saying: “I hate secularism and freedom… and [I hate] liberalism as defined by man-made laws and democracy” – certainly unpopular sentiments to express in the UK or in the West generally.

If one is in favour of democracy and freedom, though, then surely one should be appalled at Johnson’s decision to ban the group? If everyone is free, shouldn’t people should free to hate freedom?

Listening to Choudary’s thoughts on Afghanistan, it became clear why this line of thought sometimes has to give way.

“I do believe that the U.S.A. has forces in Afghanistan to stop the rising support for the Taliban establishing Sharia Law.

“I hate secularism and freedom… and [I hate] liberalism as defined by manmade laws and democracy” I do believe they [the Taliban] can take Islam and they can remove their enemy.”

But is support for Sharia in Afghanistan rising, or are Afghans being forced by gun-toting religious gangs to adopt a more radical interpretation of the Koran?

One suspect it’s the latter.

Slowly it becomes less surprising that the Home Office has moved to stop Islam4UK. Choudary believes Gordon Brown – “the stooge of Barack Obama” – is misleading the public on the real reason his army are in Afghanistan: “It is really to establish their own greedy, military economic force in the area.” It would make sense for a government to restrain these remarks from percolating through

society.

Choudary continued. “I believe sovereignty belongs to God, and I believe that under that regime [the Taliban], the life the wealth, the honour the dignity of Muslims would be protected. They would have their basic needs everyday and their shelter.” Taliban leaderships in the past have banned music and colour. Men were not allowed to shave, and woman forced to cover their heads in veils. One hopes Afghanistan learns from history, and doesn’t plunge itself back into the dark Middle Ages.

Choudary also explained to me that “if you say something nowadays against the government… freedom quickly dissi-

pates and it is replaced with dictatorship.”

While his perspective is informed by recent censoring events, it is too much to call Gordon Brown a dictator. The current PM can’t even dictate when he tries.

Why would Choudary care anyway? He hates democracy! It starts to sound as if dictatorship might suit Islam4UK quite well, as long as he was the human form through which Allah channels his will – a man living lavishly in No. 10 with the Islamic flag blowing above the door.

The Home Office’s move to ban this group, then, is less rash than it previously seemed to be – it is founded in reason, as a necessary, isolated move to protect citizens. It is not the end of freedom.

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THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

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Tough Choices In the aftermath of exam results in UCD, Peter Molloy examines the perennial issue of students struggling with the difficult choice of whether or not to drop out of college, and speaks to two students about their experience withdrawing from university

S

Features Editor

ocial networking can come in for its fair proportion of criticism. Sometimes, though, it can be right on the money.

Early on Wednesday, 20th January, one Facebook status update was pithier than most. “FML”, read one student’s succinct summary of that morning’s good news, or lack thereof. The responses were sympathetic – crucially, no-one needed elaboration about just what had commenced the day on a bad note. Exam results had rolled around once again in UCD. As the day wound on, it wasn’t difficult to read the mood as knots of students gathered around Belfield and swapped news. For some, delight – or at the very least, welcome relief – was evident as celebratory trips to Harcourt Street and beyond were loudly planned.

For others, however, the outcome on a chilly midweek morning had clearly been less than had been hoped for. In the Newman Building, the long queue which had built up by mid-morning outside the Arts Programme Office was telling enough. Most students seemed semi-cheerfully resigned to their fate, with hurried calculations being shared, principally based around multiples of €230 – the current going rate to repeat a module in UCD. But at least some students were facing a rather more pressing reality that Wednesday morning. For a significant proportion, the news an SIS login brought at breakfast was even graver than the dispiriting prospect of scraping together the cash for one or more repeats. Bad news at the academic polls meant confronting the unpleasant reality that perhaps things definitively weren’t going the way they wished in UCD. Fast forward nine days, and I’m sitting in the office of Aisling O’Grady, Student Advisor for the College of Arts & Celtic Studies. It’s approaching five o’clock on a Friday evening, and the deadline to formally withdraw from college before incurring a second semester’s fees is imminent.

O’Grady – worldly, but irrepressibly cheerful – admits that I’ve caught her at the tail end of a very, very busy week. Even as we settle down to interview, a knock at her office door reveals a nervouslooking female undergraduate. It’s perilously close to the deadline, but O’Grady doesn’t hesitate to usher her in. I dutifully yield my place on the seat and retire outside.

Even if confidentially didn’t obviously rule it out, I don’t actually need to be inside to grasp the gist of what’s taking place. O’Grady invariably greets newcomers to her Newman Building quarters by quickly reassuring them that she’s been there and done it all before – in every sense of the word, having herself failed First Year as an undergraduate. She tells me later, once our chat has resumed, that helping students wrestling with the issue of dropping out, or simply experiencing academic difficulties, is nothing new to her.

“It’s been the same as every year. It’s mainly First Years who have had difficulty settling in and haven’t managed to get the balance right, and were afraid maybe to ask for help before now. ” It’s time, perhaps, that I come clean from my end of things. I know the bi-annual routine in O’Grady’s office only too well, and not from the semi-professional, detached Observer side of affairs. At one stage, and not the hazy, distant past, I was the one glumly sitting on the other side of the desk, trying to weigh up my options.

I’m in the final year of my final semester studying History in UCD. The problem is that the figures don’t quite add up: mine is a three-year course, but my student number begins with an 06 prefix. In the black and white scheme of things, I should already

have graduated and left Belfield in my wake, striding out into an economic recession with all the prospects that a certified competency in primary source analysis and dissertation drafting can bring. Yet here I am, still toiling away amongst the dusty ranks of the James Joyce Library’s History section. So what happened along the way?

As she speaks from lengthy student experience, O’Grady – without intending to – neatly summashould get out of there. She was really supportive Shane (20) is a First Year student in Health and rises my previous self, circa September 2006. I’m a about it – that was great.

Performance Science. In September 2008, immetextbook case of the type of person who was all too “I had been working in a newsagent on Saturdays diately after completing his Leaving Certificate, ready to embrace the sudden freedom that college and Sundays and they decided to give me fullhe embarked on a Science degree in Trinity Coloffered, but was ill-prepared to shoulder the concurtime work for the year, so it was very handy. Getlege. Very quickly on, however, he realised that rent responsibility. I have to admit it – she has me ting back into the study side of things this year the course simply wasn’t for him. bang to rights. wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I thought Three years ago, I gleefully ticked almost every negait would be harder, but things like Blackboard are “Going into physiotherapy had always been my tive box it was possible for a callow undergraduate a great help. I live in Bray, so it means I can study overall goal, so it was just a case of which directo complete. No sooner had my feet hit Belfield’s from home more. tion into that area that I took, [but I soon found concrete that autumn, were they swiftly treading off “I love my course at the moment. Christmas that] Trinity just wasn’t my thing at all. When it track. exams went great – I passed everything, so I was came to the course itself, I just couldn’t handle Before even a full month as a UCD student had very happy with myself. it. I’d say it was a mixture of the course and the elapsed, I’d developed the firm habit of treating my “If I had to give advice to anyone who was in the college. I thought about [withdrawing] for a weekly timetable as a firmly à la carte affair. Tutorisame position that I was in, I would say that if good two weeks, because as soon as I got in there als, officially mandatory, were (in my reality at least) you really, really don’t like it, get out of there. I I realised that it just wasn’t my thing. entirely discretionary. Lectures were almost beyond never looked back, and I haven’t regretted taking “There was no hassle at home. I said it to my consideration, unless I happened to be in an unusuthat step since. It’s the best step I’ve ever taken Mum straight away and she told me that it was ally industrious mood – or if I had time to kill. really.” the right thing to do if I wasn’t enjoying it; that I And that was just during the day. By BNAG UNI OBSERVER AD:Layout 1 07/09/2009 12:44 Page 1 night, I eagerly grasped every opportunity that presented itself to further divorce myself from my academic commitments. The opening of an envelope anywhere in town would have invited my presence, swaying slightly by Bord na Gaeilge UCD half-nine and still www.ucd.ie/bnag relishing the fact that I was out – on a Tuesday night!

But even a monumental idiot can’t hold reality at arm’s length forever though, and the payback wasn’t an eternity in catching up with me. That Christmas, my first experience of UCD exams came with predictable consequences, though my results shouldn’t have surprised me as much as they did – especially given that at least one exam had seen me swaggering out of the RDS after only a token half-hour attempt at coherent writing.

Still, at least I learnt my abject lesson and ran a tight ship from there on in.

If only.

When summer exams – and the prospect of re-sits – rolled round, I didn’t even deign to attend most; of those I did, I stuck to established personal tradition and failed a majority. And so into the semi-mythical ‘Stage X’ I fell.

This was how September 2007 saw me parked in the very same seat in front of O’Grady that I’m occupying ils: urther Deta CD, /F is now, with my proverbial tail truly la o e h U Tuillead rd na Gaeilge between my legs. At least two sessions each Gaeilge, Bo n: 01-716-8208 ig if O , la al ch Guthá of friendly but firm advice stood me Clár Ní Bhua ucd.ie in little stead, however, so determined anna.gaeilge@ ng ra : st ho hp Ríom was I to steer my own, erratic course.

By the time my second Christmas as a UCD student had rolled around,

“By the time my second Christmas as a UCD student had rolled around, I had settled upon the answer to my self-inflicted woes – I was dropping out”

Case Study #1

02.02.10

I had settled upon the answer to my self-inflicted woes – I was dropping out. And by January, that was essentially what I’d done. I still came to campus – nearly every day, in fact – but the only remaining draw was either to meet with friends or to dutifully attend the Observer office. Somehow I saw no particular irony in effectively ceasing my involvement in UCD as a student, but continuing to participate in extra-curricular activities.

Why? Well, why on earth not? My course was too hard. I didn’t actually enjoy studying History at third level (though I loved it at school). There were better ways to go about getting started in my chosen career. A thousand conjured-up excuses, and all of them equally spurious – that is, for me at least.

Eventually – and perhaps inevitably – my Road to Damascus moment arrived, and it dawned on me at last that perhaps, just perhaps, dropping out wasn’t actually what I wanted. So I trudged to the bank to withdraw a hefty loan in order to cover the various repeats I had accumulated, began to knuckle down, and finally began college properly.

So far, so good – and a happy ending for all? Well, no, actually, anything but.

I was lucky – luckier in some ways than I think I still grasp, even now. Lucky because I managed to arrest a downward slide in time; luckier still in that

11

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“ ‘FML’, read one student’s succinct summary of that morning’s good news; or lack thereof”

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the factors which brought me so close to ending my time in UCD weren’t academic, economic, personal or any of the other myriad of issues that can affect a student’s performance, and can ultimately lead to a decision to abandon a course of study altogether.

The root of my brush with dropping out of university lay firmly with my own hubris, immaturity, and misplaced sense of priority. When I eventually began to treat my college experience in the manner that I should have done from the beginning, I was able to discover that I actually had at least a modicum of aptitude, and – perhaps much more importantly – a distinct enthusiasm for my course.

Others aren’t so lucky. For some students, external influences – whether stemming from personal problems, reasons of finance or academic capability – can contribute to the unwelcome and affecting academic problems. For more than a few, it can quite simply be the case that their chosen course of study is not for them – or, at least, it isn’t at that particular point in time. Like anyone else in UCD, I’ve known examples of all of the above, and the experiences of the interviewees on these pages are utterly typical. My own memory of flirting with dropping out lends me some sense of empathy with their positions, but our experiences certainly aren’t the same – nor, in honesty, would I wish them to be.

O’Grady is the very first person to acknowledge that for some, no matter how difficult the decision to part ways with a course may be, it’s still a step that has to be taken.

“One of the first questions I ask students who come in here who have gone down in modules is ‘Do you really want to be here – do you really want to get a degree?’, because that’s the baseline that you need to work from. Most people actually do want to be here - they want to get their degree – but they’re just a little bit lost in knowing how to go about it. It may have been last on their CAO form, or it’s not what they wanted to do. If it’s not the right place for you then you need to withdraw.”

With Friday last the final day for withdrawal without incurring financial penalty, it seems likely that O’Grady’s schedule will calm down a little.

Realistically, however, the likelihood of the seats in the waiting area outside her office remaining empty for long seems faint.

Case Study #2 Louise is 21 and in the Second Year of a General Nursing degree. She originally came to UCD to an Economics and Finance in 2007, but realised by Christmas of her first year in the University that her heart wasn’t in the course. Having reapplied to UCD through the CAO, she is now three terms into her new programme of study, but has become steadily disillusioned with her course. At the time of interview last week, Louise was preparing to formally withdraw from the University.

“I initially came to UCD to study Economics and Finance. I’d worked very hard for my Leaving, and was very happy with the results, but I hadn’t actually given the course itself much consideration before starting. I had difficulties… very soon on – I found that I just wasn’t engaging with the course the way I thought I would.

“An older sibling was already studying Nursing in UCD, so I had a very good general knowledge of the course through her, and thought it looked like something I might be very happy doing. At the start [last year] things were great – I made friends very quickly and really enjoyed myself. I enjoyed the theory-based portion of the course hugely – I did very well in my exams.

“It was really the placement in hospital that began to change the way I thought. I found the

hours very long, and very challenging, and I started doubting whether or not this was actually something I really wanted to do in the long-term.

“Actually facing up to it was very, very difficult.

I was very conscious that I had already changed courses once – my parents had helped me out with paying fees for the first year of new course, so I was very worried that I was letting them down.

The money situation at home really isn’t good at the moment, so that really didn’t help things. It was a huge relief to actually come out and say it… two weeks ago.

“UCD have been quite good. Various staff members have talked to me and explained my options, which has been a help. As far as I’m aware, I do have an option – at least for a year or so – of picking up where I left off and resuming my studies. That’s definitely a bit of reassurance.

“Overall, I’m quite frightened, and very worried at the moment. I have a part-time job, but only at weekends – it’s not a nice feeling having nothing to do all of a sudden from Monday to Friday. Not having a place to get up and go in the mornings gets me down. I’m thinking very strongly about looking at other courses and reapplying through the CAO, but even if I do, that still leaves me at a loose end until September. I’m really not sure about anything at the moment.”

12

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02.02.10

FEATURES

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Affairs of State As a surprising sex scandal reverberates across Northern Ireland, Matt Gregg casts a dubious gaze over the question of political morals

I

Chief Features Writer

can’t be the only one amused by the fact that, of all the welldocumented threats to stability in Northern Ireland, it was something as unremarkable as one woman’s fall from grace which grabbed the headlines, and much of the vitriol, over the last couple of weeks.

Of course, I’m not condoning the behaviour of Iris Robinson. What she did was at the very least dishonest, though probably short of illegal, and she certainly deserves to be held accountable by the public for it. But at the same time, I just can’t help but wonder if the reaction to the whole thing hasn’t been blown far out of proportion.

Mrs Robinson is not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, politician to cheat on their spouse. In fact, she’s not even the most notorious or vigorous philanderer to have graced the political stage in recent years. Politically she has lost everything, but many of her brethren have gone from strength to strength. For some of them, being seen to be sexually virile even seems to be as effective in stirring up support as hitting the campaign trail.

Take a look at Silvio Berlusconi.

Arguably one of Italy’s more successful politicians, his larger-than-life personality is perhaps the key reason that Italian voters continually return him to office.

Though many Italians are embarrassed to have him as their leader, a great deal more

absolutely love his brazen approach.

Berlusconi’s chauvinistic behaviour has never really been in doubt. He is, after all, the man who suggested - with his country deep in recession - that the best way for an attractive woman to find a job was to try and marry his son. Then, in perhaps the most memorable moment of his 2008 election campaign, he sought support because the female members of his rightwing party were far more attractive than their leftist counterparts. With a former Miss Italy amongst their ranks, he may not be too far wrong.

It was therefore not a huge surprise when news of his frequent liaisons with women much younger than himself and his entanglement in a prostitution scandal came to light last year. These allegations, which led to his wife Veronica Lario finally filing for divorce, appeared merely to confirm what many had suspected for a while. AC Milan, the football team of which Berlusconi is owner, weren’t the only ones playing away from home.

Yet far from destroying his career, Berlusconi remains an object of admiration, even jealousy. He is seen as the ultimate chancer; the hedonistic playboy. We just can’t get enough of him. Even allegations that Berlusconi was a frequent purveyor of prostitution failed to topple him, he provides so many with vicarious pleasure.

Every man wants to be him; every woman wants to be with him. He’s powerful man,

a rich man – a “real man”?

Of course, the fact that Berlusconi also owns much of his national media may be a factor overlooked in the positioning of his playboy image – where even his hair transplants and fake tan are glamorised.

Poor old Iris Robinson. When allegations of her indiscretions came to light, she was whisked away from the public gaze. Instead of brazening it out like Berlusconi and saying, “Why of course, I’m in my ski lodge in Chamonix”, she was committed to a psychiatric ward post-haste.

Robinson set herself up like a Shakespearean tragic figure... or was it the Oedipus tragedy? I can’t remember. Putting aside the raising of funds through her position of influence and her borrowings to help fund a business venture of her toyboy Kirk McCambley, Robinson had already drawn the spotlight on herself with statements such as “homosexuality, like all sin, is an abomination” and asserting that “the government has a responsibility to uphold God’s laws morally” – hardly representative of her political office.

In an age of so called equality, the odds are stacked against her: somehow an older woman with a younger man is still considered more shocking. With hindsight, it’s hard to see who was seducing whom and for what benefit.

Meanwhile, McCambley’s restaurant will forever be on the tourist trail. His business is booming, and he’s paid back

the money. He’s being offered photo shoots as a gay icon for bedding her. And he can earn six figure sums per story sold.

Having sex with Mrs Robinson was the

“Berlusconi is, after all, the man who suggested - with his country deep in recession - that the best way for an attractive woman to find a job was to try and marry his son”

Degrees of Separation Just how does everyday life on campus as a UCD student go when there’s a near mirror image of yourself attending the very same university? Peter Molloy tracks down two pairs of Belfield’s own identical twins to find out Features Editor Ali and Leann are both 21 years old, and both are based in UCD’s Health Sciences Building. Alison is in her second year of four studing Midwifery, while Leann is three years into her General Nursing degree.

They also happen to be twin sisters, and absolutely identical ones at that. Or at least, that’s my opening gambit, until I’m laughingly reprimanded by Ali, the younger of the pair by a few hours.

“We’re not actually identical twins, we’re fraternal!”

A quick trip to Google after our interview tells me that a pair of fraternal twins is ‘dizygotic’ (or, for the uninitated, ‘non-identical’).

Mind you, the distinction is easier classified than recognised if you’re actually standing in front of this pair. Although pointedly wearing different outfits, and sporting fractionally different hairstyles, these to an outsider would be the only features which set them apart.

As we talk in UCD’s Student Centre, a particular thing happens – not once, twice, but three times during our interview – as students and staff file into the building from Health Sciences to get

lunch. Classmates spot the pair and approach, somewhat slowly and cautiously, until close enough to feel confident about making a guess at the identity of the particular twin they know.

While we watch Ali chatting to a friend from her course, cheerfully explaining why exactly it is that she’s being shadowed by a man clutching a digital voice recorder, Leann points out that sometimes

the distinction isn’t so easily made by classmates and acquaintances.

“If you’re on your own, then quite often people who might be college friends with Ali, or would know her through class or whatever, just wouldn’t know the difference. So you do tend to get a fair amount of people coming up from and saying hello and asking how you are, which is awful because if you don’t know them,

best piece of publicity Kirk McCambley ever pulled.

The more things change, it seems, the more they stay the same.

or if you’ve never seen them before, you end up feeling horribily rude.”

Turning back to us, Ali rapidly nods her agreement. “It can happen a huge amount on campus, or on nights out, because you’re almost guranteed to run into each other’s friends.

Sometimes it can be easier just to say at the very beginning of a conversation: ‘I’m Ali!’, or whatever!”

Someone who knows that recurring awkward feeling only is too well is Colin, a 21-year-old BMus student.

Colin is an official identical twin, with his brother Mark, currently on an Erasmus year in Germany, studying Commerce and German in UCD. “We both came to UCD at the same time, and had been in the same primary and secondary schools the whole way

through – but always in separate classes!”

Colin shares Ali and Leann’s experiences of social awkwardness, offering his own collection of rueful identity mix-ups. “If you were to see Mark walking around campus and you waved to him, he wouldn’t know who you were, so you’d probably end up thinking he was very, very ignorant.”

Relationships, says Colin, pose their own particular range of problems for the discerning twin. “I was walking through town one day with my girlfriend, and this woman I’d never seen before in my life, about 20 years old, started accusing me of cheating on her: ‘Did the last two weeks mean nothing?!’, and all that.

“I’d been away for a while, so I had no idea what had been going on with Mark’s love life. She didn’t buy the story that I was a twin at all. Eventually, I just had to ring Mark and get him to explain it to her slowly. It was slightly difficult, all right.”

Beneath the surface, just how similar is the average pair? Ali and Leann flash a grin at each, before Leann offers a diplomatic, practised summary.

“I’d say it’s probably safe to say that if you have a twin you have a best friend – but you can also have a worst enemy on occasion. We are very much our own people though, even if it doesn’t always seem that way!”

Colin is quick to agree. “He would be my best man if there was a wedding, that sort of thing – we do get on very well. We are different, though; he’s more business-minded and I’m much more musical. Most of the time, we don’t even fancy the same girls.”

When asked for a parting piece of practical wisdom about being a UCD twin, all three are instantly unanimous.

It’s Colin who sums it up best, though, plaintitively pleading: “Just don’t think we’re rude b**tards all the time, please!

Most of the time, it really probably isn’t the person you think it is.”

02.02.10

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

13

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Circumstantial Evidence As Ireland recovers from yet another high-profile murder trial, we offer the closing defence speech in full: a cut-outand-keep guide for the next time it happens by Justin Dubious-Alibi, B.L.

Y

our Honour, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury. I thank you for granting me your time on this final oc-

casion.

The case which you have had before you these past weeks has been a difficult one indeed. You have had to cope with complex legal argument and counter-argument, and have been forced to contend with an array of competing suggestions and theories – all carried out under unprecedented media scrutiny.

It is not my intention whatsoever to further the drawn-out nature of this already lengthy trial. It is my solemn – and sincere – duty, however, to take this last opportunity to attempt to dissuade you from contributing to a most appalling miscarriage of justice.

As you are aware, my client, Mr Leery, stands accused of the most heinous crime – the cold-blooded murder of his wife of two decades, Sylvia. A considered examination of the allegations against him, though, resoundingly suggests his innocence. I would be remiss if I were not to assist you in recognising that fact.

Let us consider first the circumstances of the late Mrs Leery’s passing. The prosecution would have it that her death was nothing short of calculated, maliceridden execution. Stuff of nonsense!

I ask you this in all earnestness, ladies and gentlemen: is it really all that far-fetched to imagine that it was not impossible for Mrs Leery to have indeed stumbled slightly at the top of the stairs, while flinging invective yet again at

“His initial response – “Ding dong!

The witch is dead” – was utterly understandable, under the circumstances.” my long-suffering, weary client? That, upon stumbling, an unnoticed tear in the carpet would not have caught one of her grossly swollen, chunky middleaged toes, propelling her even further off-balance and down the flight of stairs, head first? So far, so flimsy the basis of these horrid accusations.

Let us delve further into the heart of this matter. My learned colleagues on the opposite bench have made clear time and again the patently thin view they take of my client’s assertion that the carving knife, half brick and broken bottle which were found embedded in various portions of his late wife’s body had been lying innocently at the foot of the stairs long before her tragic fall.

They are philistines. Where else would a responsible head of the family keep dangerous implements such as these, but at the foot of the downstairs landing? I myself make a particular point, when engaged in Sunday afternoon cleaning, to make sure that all improvised weapons I find when dusting are piled at the bottom of the stairs – all the better to ensure I remember to bring them with me come Monday morning, ready for responsible disposal at the local recycling centre. To suggest – as the prosecution have done – that this everyday habit amounts to little more than a hastily thrown together cover story on the part of my client is not only inaccurate, but hurtful.

Mr Leery was as shocked and devasted as any loving husband would be when Gardaí eventually managed to locate him in a Leeson Street casino to inform him that Sylvia’s injuries had proved inoperable. His initial response – “Ding dong!

The witch is dead” – was utterly understandable, under the circumstances. Mr Leery’s grief was so choking as to leave him unable to react, save for numbly repeating the title of the Wizard of Oz number which happened to be playing on the club’s audio system at the moment in question.

And what of the other, deeply hurtful suggestions with which my client had been forced to struggle? Persistent speculation from some of the more disreputable elements of print media has served to present the most dastardly slights against Mr Leery’s good name.

Take the Record of Wednesday last, for example, with its garish headline: ‘LEERY ENJOYED LATE NIGHT TRYSTS WITH BUXOM GOLFING INSTRUCTOR’. This inference is as inaccurate as it is offensive. As Mr Leery has repeatedly assured the court, his relationship with the aforementioned Ms Smyth is nothing but platonic and professional. My client has confided to me again and again his deep sadness over misinterpretations of that relationship.

Mr Leery’s busy schedule as managing director of his own paper packaging company did indeed mean that he could spare time to work on his golfing skills only late in the evening; once he had – typically selflessly – first satisfied his family commitments by tucking both his children and wife in for the evening, planting a tender kiss upon each of their rosy cheeks. It is quite true that some of those tuition sessions took place inside Mr Leery’s Rover; but granted the profound cold spell then affecting the country, I ask you – what other practical location was there for Ms Smyth to impart her golfing theory knowledge?

Last, and certainly least in terms of media integrity, comes the long-running speculation over Mr Leery’s courtroom behaviour as this trial has unfolded. Certain so-called ‘opinion writers’ of the gutter press have taken consistent delight in castigating my client for his demeanour, concentrating in particular on his tendency to occupy his time with newspaper crosswords, amateurish origami, and sporadic attempts to whistle the chorus to Spandau Ballet’s Gold.

I beg of you – when did Irish decency go to the dogs? Can a bereaved captain of industry not take whatever methods necessary to deal with his grief?

Ladies and Gentleman, the facts of the matter are clear. You must acquit.

I thank you.”

Justin Dubious-Alibi, BL

Couples Therapy Our resident love doctor is here to guide you through the finer points of surviving in a couple Note: Not actual picture Dear Dr Mc Seamy, For a while, I’ve really liked this guy in my class, and a few months ago we started flirting and hanging out.

Things were going great, till we got really drunk one night, and he told me that ‘I’m too good for him’ and ‘he didn’t want to hurt me’.

The crazy thing is that since then he has been sleeping over at my place several times a week, we both get into our PJs (boxers for him) and then we go to bed. We’ve never had sex, we never cuddle, and in the morning he kisses me on the cheek and leaves.

Sometimes I come home and he’s hanging out on the couch, waiting for me. And he’s always flattering me with amazing compliments.

I’m really confused, because I want to have sex with him, and I don’t even need a relationship, but he just won’t make a move, and I’m afraid of being rejected again. I even torture him sometimes with lingerie and revealing clothes, but nothing-doing. I know he’s not gay because he’s slept with other girls, I just don’t know what to do. This has been happening for four months, and something’s gonna give!

What should I do? Thanks in advance.

– Sharon Hi Sharon.

This is quite possibly the most hilarious (and bizarre) situation I’ve ever come across. It took me some time to figure this one out, but I’ll give you my thought process.

He’s gay. But of course, women have a finely tuned gaydar, so that one’s discounted immediately.

He’s homeless, and there are two other women out there wondering exactly the same thing. This one is a distinct possibility – sex would ruin his platonic lodging schedule, plus he would

smell like sex all the time. We may come back to this one.

This is quite the conundrum. You obviously want to have sex (either with this guy, or someone else) but he’s effectively blocking you out by both refusing to go away and do the deed. I call this the angry wife scenario, however I doubt he’s doing it on purpose.

So what are his motives? I hate to say it, but I think this poor fellow is in love with you. It started with the drunken outpouring of amore.

He told you that you’re too good for him, etc etc. What he was thinking was ‘if I have sex with this girl, then she will become a sex object, and ruin this perfect idea I have of her in my mind’.

Furthermore, YOU haven’t made a move in the last several months either, so he probably thinks that this is what you want as well! He probably wants to make a move, but is afraid that you will kick his ass to the curb if he does. And if he really is homeless, it really IS the curb.

Now, there are other possibilities. The one thing men are the MOST insecure about, is their peeps. His peeps might be permanently asleeps. That is to say, on the fritz. This might be the reason why there are problems, and if this is the case, you’re screwed (or, not screwed, pardon the pun). But I don’t think that’s the case, and I’ll tell you why: What made me laugh is that he gets into his boxers, and gets into bed, but there is no cuddling, no moves, nothing. This got me thinking. He’s obviously affectionate (the morning kiss), so why no cuddling? And it struck me – he’s sporting wood!!! Eureka right? Now you must feel guilty about torturing him with the boobage. Does he whimper at night, perchance?

And I think it’s painfully obvious that

you really like this guy too, otherwise you wouldn’t let him get away with occupying your bed, but not your… pants, for so long. So that is my analysis, and here comes my advice.

It will just drive you crazy if you keep going on the way you are. He’s past the point of making a move. Believe me, he’s been living inside his own head for so long, at this point he may have lost touch with reality. You must take action. If you don’t go for it, eventually something will give, a fight, a bludgeoning, etc, and things will end acrimoniously.

If you DO, he may say no – in which case he’s a) a damn fool, and b) never going to be interested – and therefore it’s better that you find out sooner rather than later. And if he’s receptive (which I’m 99.9% positive he will be), you shall be thanking me as you gratify each other. It’s a win-win for everyone.

14

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

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02.02.10

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

15

FEATURES

features@universityobserver.ie

The Bringer of Good NUws Times are tough during a bleak mid-winter – even the supercilious Slightly Mollified has to make ends meet. Want to buy a college?

“P

ssst: here, boss – do you wanna buy a national university?

No, no, calm down, hang on – of course it’s legit – Government surplus, the usual story. Bargain?

Well you’re telling me it’s a bargain: an absolute snip at an even million. You think I’m the dodgy one here, boss, but let me tell you, you’ll be practically robbing me at that price. Feeding the missus and kids this month on that? I’ll be lucky.

Miles on the clock? Not much, not much at all, actually. How does an even ton sound to you? 1908? Practically yesterday, boss, practically yesterday. I’ve had pairs of trainers older than that, and that isn’t a word of a lie.

I know what you’re thinking, boss, I know what you’re thinking. It’s too good to be true, isn’t it? Truth be told, I’d probably think that meself if I was stood the side of the alley the way you are. Do watch your shoes there, by the way. God’s honest truth, this is the best thing that’s gonna happen to you all night. Other than making it over to that Luas stop with the contents of your pockets as they were when you set out, that is.

What you’ve got to is trust me here, boss. Think of me as the middle man.

The bloke I work for? Let’s just call him The Batman. He’s a bad one, boss, a real

bad one, and if I’m being honest… I don’t want to come back to him and tell him that the gear hasn’t been shifted. Let’s just help each other out, yeah?

I mean, think about it, boss, you’re getting some definitive bang for your buck here. I’m not just throwing in one university – you’ll get four of the bleedin’ things.

You’re a Dubliner, yeah? Not from my side of the tracks, I’ll wager, but you’ll do boss. Stuck for space at home? Dry rot in the walls giving you grief? Well, my name’s not Dave if you won’t have room to swing a cat and then some after our little transaction.

Belfield? I’ll give you Belfield, boss –

365 acres of the place. Looks-wise? I’ll be honest, boss: it could be better. In fact, it could definitely be better, unless you’re a concrete man. Still and all, who ever said we’re shooting the breeze about aesthetics here? You’ll have room, and that’s what a chap needs for to be himself – am I right?!

Still, though, I can predict the next objection, boss. It’s the frau, isn’t it? The auld memsahib? The long-haired general?

She-who-must-be-obeyed? Say no more boss, say no more – you’re preaching to the converted here. Behind every man… is a good woman holding him back! I know it too well, too well.

But you, boss, are in luck: that problem’s sorted before it begins. Running

tracks and concrete funnels not getting her cotton moist? I have the lines for your domestic script, boss. Nestled at the entrance to Dublin city centre?

Heritage and history stretching back to the nineteenth century? Immediate proximity – this is the clincher here, boss – immediate proximity to Ireland’s biggest shopping district? There’s a ‘Dun’ before the ‘Drum’ for a reason, boss, and that’s to give you a hint at the state of your credit position after herself has had a day let loose in that plastic hole.

Still, isn’t it worth it for a smile instead of bared fangs?

Holidays? The way things are at the moment? I’ll be lucky to see Brittas this year, boss, at the price I’m offering you.

But I’m hearing you, I’m hearing you.

Well, how does the oul’ West sound to you? Bracing walks, wind-swept beauty, traditional music – you name it, boss.

It’s a City of the Tribes and everything… sounds a bit like here, actually. But it’s all yours; and I’m not even looking for anything extra. Cork? You really want Cork as well? God knows, someone has to. Right then, boss, it’s yours. That’s the extra mile I’m willing to walk for you.

Something a bit closer to home?

Weekend breaks instead? Can’t say I don’t see the appeal, boss. How does Maynooth strike your fancy? Close to the ‘smoke but

“Pssst: here, boss – do you wanna buy a national university?” still far away to make it different. I even like the sound of it meself. Go on. you can have that and all.

Tell you what, boss, help me out on this one and we can even throw in some of those electronic voting machines on top.

Boss? Boss?!”

An Sean Mhordach: Saineolaí nó seafóid?

An raibh fhios ag éinne go raibh an aimsir uafásach ag teacht? Bhí fhios ag duine amháin, deir Maria Ní Shíthigh Thart ar an uair seo anuraidh, fuaireamar sneachta anseo i UCD agus b’aoibhinn an ní é. Cuimhním ar meallta sneachta i Léachtlann L agus troid sneachta ollmhór idir na scoileanna éagsúla ar champas. Bhí gach duine ar bís. Níor mhair an sneachta ach ar feadh lá nó dhó an uair sin, agus dá bhrí sin, scéal iomlán difriúil a bhí i gceist le titim sneachta na bliana seo.

Tús na Feabhra atá ann fós agus tá níos mó sneachta feicthe agam sa mhí dheireanach ná riamh i mo shaol!

Measaim go bhfuil sé cothrom a rá gur éirigh daoine bréan de an uair seo, ach go háirithe mura raibh uisce reatha acu. Cáineadh an rialtas go forleathan de bharr easpa ullmhúcháin: ní raibh dóthan grin do na bóithre agus dúnadh scoileanna ar fud na tíre. Bhí an tír ina praiseach ceart.

Cuireadh an milleán ar an rialtas ach ar chóir go mbeadh a fhios acu go raibh sé seo ag teacht? An raibh a fhios ag éinne go raibh sé ag teacht? Bhuel, bhí a fhios ag fear amháin, (agus ní Daithí Ó Sé a bhfuilim ag tagairt dó ach oiread): An Sean Mhordach. Is í an ghné is spéisiúla den scéal, ná gur scríobh sé sa bhliain 1764 go mbeadh sneachta againn i mí Eanáir 2010.

Is féidir a rá, gan amhras, nach aon bheart mór é sneachta a thuar do mhí Eanáir, ó thaobh na réamhaisnéise de.

Nach bhféadfaimis é sin a dhéanamh muid féin? Cén fáth, mar sin, a bhfuil clú agus cáil ar an Mordach? Agus an bhfuil aon fhiúntas ag baint lena bhfuil á rá aige?

Thuar sé go mbeadh an bua ag Ciarraí agus Cill Chainnigh i gcluiche

“Thuar sé go mbeadh an bua ag Ciarraí agus Cill Chainnigh i gcluiche cheannais na hÉireann sa pheil agus san iománaíocht i 2009, agus bhí an ceart aige” cheannais na hÉireann sa pheil agus san iománaíocht i 2009, agus bhí an ceart aige. Beidh an bua ag Cill Chainnigh arís i mbliana, ach caithfidh go raibh drochlá aige nuair a scríobh sé go mbeadh an bua ag Corcaigh sa pheil. (Tuairim Cíarraígh neamhchlaonta!)

Ceann eile dá dtuartha nach bhfuil cuma ró-dhealraitheach air faoi láthair, ná go mbainfidh Tiger Woods Craobh na Máistrí agus Craobh Oscailte Gailf na Breataine amach i mbliana. Bheinn i

m’iompaitheach ceart dá dtarlódh sé sin!

Deirtear gur thuar an Mordach bua toghcháin Barack Obama i 2009, agus deir sé go mbeidh tinneas maidine ag a bhean chéile Michelle i mí Meithimh 2010. Ceapaim gurb é an rud is fearr liom faoin Mordach ná an chaoi inar thuar sé eachtraí sonracha. Cé go raibh sé ag scríobh beagnach 250 bliain ó shin, níl faitíos air eachtraí mionsonraithe a léiriú.

Tá suim faoi leith aige in san Teaghlach Ríoga, de réir dealraimh. Tá sé scríofa aige

go n-éireoidh an Bhanríon as a post agus go mbeidh an Prionsa Séarlas i gceannas.

Ní hamháin sin, ach go mbeidh an-mheas air in Éirinn. Ar an taobh eile den bhád, ba chóir do William agus do Harry a bheith fíor-chúramach agus iad ag eitilt i mí Meithimh, mar dár leis an Mordach, beidh timpiste héileacaptair i ndán do cheann acu.

Nuacht eile: éiríodh Oprah as a post, pósfaidh Madonna duine dá haois fhéin agus gheobhaidh Osama Bin Laden bás i gceann dá bpluaise.

Dóibh siúd a bhfuil suim acu sa spóirt: bainfidh an Spáinn an Corn Domhanda amach, Toulouse an Heineken Cup, beidh an bua ag Serena Williams agus ag Roger Federer i Wimbledon, agus ag Kauto Star sa Chorn Órga.

Ach i mo thuairimse, is í an chuid is tábhachtaí dá thuartha do 2010 ná go mbeidh Meitheamh, Iúil agus Lúnasa go hálainn! An mbeidh an ceart aige? Tá súíl agam! Ach mar a deirtear, is maith an scéalaí an aimsir.

16

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

OPINION

opinion@universityobserver.ie

TALLEYRAND Regimes may fall and fail, but I do not…

Greetings minions, You know, Talleyrand gains perverse enjoyment watching them crawl out of their little rodent holes… vermin intent on crisscrossing the mottled concrete slabs of fair Belfield, soiling all in their path. No, it’s not the latest infestation of rats springing forth from the Giant Hole in the Ground – sorry, the new Student Centre. It is, in fact, the latest breed of hacks seeking glorious election to the dizzying lows of UCDSU. While Talleyrand is somewhat familiar with the crumbling graduate jobs market (there’s no actual economy down here in the Secret Tunnels, so Talleyrand remains unaffected), it still beggars belief as to why anyone would sacrifice a year of their life to the Unbearable Union. Seriously, a year on the dole would look better on a CV than a year on the Horrordor.

Then again, Jumpy Jonny doesn’t even have a CV yet, so it’s best to start at the bottom and work your way up. And the bottom doesn’t really get any deeper in the Stupids’ Goonion, just like the current level of red in the Ents budget. But UCD’s version of Perez Hilton has a solution to that too – just get the old man to bankroll Ents, Arts Soc-style.

As Ents gets ready to accept another idiot at its helm, Talleyrand would like to remind Moping Mike Pat that the CAO deadline passed yesterday, but it’s okay, there’s a late application facility closing in March. You can still go back and start again, this time as a mature student, which is actually more of a convenient term than a literal term in your case.

Scrott Ahernia really has hi-Jacq-ed the Welfare race again, going so far as to block his better half from getting a chance to play in the good, healthy, happy-go-feely, vomit-inducing Welfare Wombat role. Deviuos little thing. But be warned: RON has a name, and it’s Lisa Connell.

Jacqqq will have her day in the sun though, with the Women’s Week oestro-fest nagging its way to a building near you this week. Talleyrand hears they’re distributing free iPads to any women with a wide-set vaginas and a heavy flow. Scrote will be first in line, so.

Pat “Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground” de Brún has learned his lesson from Class Rep Training, and will remember to keep his pants up during the elections. He just might forget to actually run though, and judging from the lack of activity from his camp, that’s quite likely.

There’s certainly plenty of excitement in the Colm Maguire camp (pun genuinely not intended) as the remains of the UCD Left gather round a red flag to support their comrade in delivering his “decent union”.

You want a decent union? Join IBEC. Kudos to Mags and his conveniently-timed Rainbow Week, though, which is bound to earn him a few extra votes.

Slynam hopes to be selling dreams to all of UCD come July 1st. He has every contact in his little black book, along with Baggot Street’s finest prossies, on his campaign team, all headed up by Affable Aodhán. Err, dropped the ball there, maybe?

Stephen Whelan (tsk. He’s no Ed.) will have his hands full stopping Lynam pulling fast ones this time around.

No need to worry about Dunnaechaa though – not much brain activity going on there, especially after leaving most of his body impaled at Christmas on Ice. “Martin’s the name!” (remember him?!), meanwhile, is donning his Mr Schuester outfit for yet another installment of the Vommunity Musical. Talleyrand is partial to the odd episode of Glee, but thinking of the amount of money wasted on this spectacle is enough to make Talleyrand’s stony stomach turn. And this is coming from someone who thinks Holly Irvine didn’t actually lose that much Ents moolah in the end.

Word has it, Gazza is finally getting ready to leave the womb and make the long journey all the way to USIdiots in Crumlin. It’s a change of scenery, but a hack he has been born and a hack he shall remain. He’s gotten quite cosy about his election, but there is much to fear from Cork’s finest pyjama wearer, Liiiiiinda Kelly. She needs the job now she’s not allowed in Tesco.

Talleyho,

Quotes of the fortnight “My name isn’t that long, it’s only four letters it couldn’t go Jehonward” “I think it’s pretty cool that there are people out there that hate us”

“Yeah we

were going to go to UCD... or

something like that”

“We’re going everywhere – like Scotland... and Wales” Jedward wax lyrical about life, fame and their haters

PhD students aren’t cash cows Thomas Murray of the Postgraduate Fee Campaign argues that UCD’s move to raise postgraduate fees is a heartless attempt at solving the financial crisis

L

ast October, an email was sent to UCD’s postgraduate students informing them that “from September 2010, the programme fees of all years of PhD or research Masters programmes will be charged at the same rate”. A seemingly innocuous declaration, this change in fee structure amounts to an entirely unjust attack on postgraduates.

For the current academic year, PhD fees at UCD for the first three years of studies are €5,200 per annum for Humanities and Social Sciences, and €5,800 for Science and Engineering. Non-EU postgraduates must pay approximately double these figures. By long-standing practice, after three years of study, fees for postgraduate courses decreased to half this standard fee. Students who started their programmes this year or earlier would therefore have done so with the legitimate expectation that fees would be significantly reduced should their work take more than three years. Thus, the email of October 23rd effectively informed us that fees for students going into fourth and subsequent years of research would be doubled (without even taking into account the everrising registration fee). Clearly, notice of this proposed increase is wholly inadequate for those already far too advanced in their research to consider stopping. But that is not the only reason to be opposed to the increase.

Perhaps most obviously, it is difficult to justify the level of fees as they currently stand. What precisely do postgraduate students receive in return for their outlay?

Fees for the later years of postgraduate study are already too high, especially when one compares the levels being demanded by UCD with equivalent programmes at other universities. In Great Britain, for example, postgraduates in the closing stages of research pay ‘writing fees’, usually less than £500. Meanwhile, UCD’s existing services for researchers, including opening hours for the main library and archives, have already been cut back. In addition, the underresourcing of the library is a particular bone of contention for those engaged in specialised research.

Worse still, the decision to increase fees comes at a time when funding for postgraduate research is sadly lacking. The funding that is currently available typically covers three years of research only; many must cope without any funding at all. For these

students, taking on extra employment to fund education is no longer as available an option as it once was. Even within the university, between the recruitment freeze and the reduction in wages for postgraduate staff, extra work no longer offers a feasible means of covering the cost of higher education. This decision to increase fees will bring additional hardship to many postgraduate students already suffering the effects of the recession, many of whom in turn have dependents to support.

There is of course a wider issue about how higher education is to be funded.

Postgraduate students will face unexpectedly At present, many high fees in future years universities have large deficits due to cutbacks in governout of our education system.” ment spending. It is disappointing, but not especially surprising, therefore, that UCD Ultimately, this issue cuts to the heart is looking to pass this cost on to students. of how decisions are made in UCD. The Increasing fees, however, is an altogether capacity of the University to change fee regressive measure and must be recognised levels without due notice, once a student as such. Apart from the immediate reperhas already signed up under a different fee cussions for those currently in the system, structure is highly suspect to say the least. these increases will act as a deterrent for There needs to be much greater transparenthose who want to pursue postgraduate cy concerning the consequential decisions, research in the future. Given that the longwhich currently tend to be made for us term development of this state will depend rather than with us. Postgraduate students on opening access to higher education, the have yet to receive an adequate response decision to make postgraduate studies less from UCD management on this issue. accessible smacks of short-termist thinking.

More than that, it is blatantly unfair.

This article is intended to reflect a growing demand among the postgraduate stuOne contributor to an online petition dent body for the UCD Heads of Colleges calling for a reversal of the decision said to justify their decision to increase fees. But it best: “It is an act of social injustice to more than that, it is an appeal for support. restrict access by financial mechanisms, albeit for financial reasons, when all other A petition calling on UCD to reverse the avenues for those struggling financially increase in postgraduate fees can be accessed (tutor fees, scholarships, etc.) are also being at http://short.ie/ucdpostgrad restricted or reduced. Merit, unadulterated by privilege, is once again being squeezed

02.02.10

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

17

EDITORIAL

editor@universityobserver.ie

Photo of the fortnight

Editorial

2nd February 2010

A letter to an editor came to the attention of The University Observer in the past week. Not one addressed to this newspaper, but to its counterpart across campus, The College Tribune. In it a student reader, presumably of both publications, discusses the piece ‘A Vintage Education’ published in the 19th January edition of this newspaper. Several issues have arisen as a result of the publication of this letter, and we will take the opportunity to redress them below.

To state that we “fabricate issues for the sake of print space” is grossly inaccurate. Firstly, the issues in the piece – which dealt with the unique experiences of UCD’s population of mature students – were raised by the mature students that the author spoke to, and quoted, in the article. Secondly, the basis of this “bold assumption” appears to be founded in an ‘immature’ student’s willingness to speak to their mature counterparts. While somewhat commendable, this does not necessarily mean that the mature students this undergraduate deigns to speak to are in no way isolated or burdened by difficult issues. Finally, and most importantly; to state that this publication fabricates any of the factual material printed within

its pages is untrue, offensive, and legally indictable.

While there is now a precedent in the other campus newspaper to publish letters not pertaining to its own material, and indeed pertaining to the material on these pages, such attitudes do both newspapers – and their readership – a disservice. As a newspaper, we embrace the right to express opinion, but there are correct and incorrect places to do so. There are correct and incorrect manners to do so.

In this regard, the motivations of the other publication must be examined. Perhaps this situation has been viewed with too cynical a weathered eye on our behalf, but publishing an accusatory and defamatory letter about the material in these pages is not only ungracious but dangerous. The College Tribune, in publishing libellous material, are now responsible for the distribution of that libel. That is dangerous ground for a newspaper, or any publiction, to tread.

It is unclear what motivation might lie behind addressing a letter to an editor so wholly unconnected to the publication in question. Unfortunately the student writing the letter felt compelled to withhold their details, and so cannot be addressed personally, or have their issues redressed privately.

Letters to the Editor Letters should be sent by email to letters@universityobserver.ie or by mail to: The Editor, The University Observer, Student Centre, Belfield, Dublin 4 All letters are subject to editorial approval. The Editor reserves the right to edit any letters.

Confidentiality of Student Records Madam, I refer to Maolsheachlann Ó Ceallaigh’s letter in the last issue, criticising my report in Issue 6 on the ease with which the academic records of any UCD graduate can be compromised by an ill-intending outside agent.

Mr Ó Ceallaigh wrote that, and I quote, “all UCD administrative staff should keep a copy of the article to hand, to produce when students (and staff ) complain about ‘bureaucracy’, ‘red tape’, and ‘jobsworthiness’.”

I find it curious that Mr Ó Ceallaigh believes students might complain about the bureaucratic nature of UCD’s administration if said administration was happily capable of safeguarding their personal and sensitive details, or in general performing the functions expected and demanded of it by itself and by the student body.

Surely any individual is entitled to complain about, in Mr Ó Ceallaigh’s own words, ‘red tape’ and ‘jobsworthiness’ if such qualities are endemic within a hierarchy that does not pursue even the most basic levels of scrutiny or cross-checking in ensuring that the records of its students and fee-payers are not released to incor-

rect third parties.

I might take this opportunity to reassure Mr Ó Ceallaigh that, several days in advance of my article’s publication, both you and I approached the University detailing the nature of our investigation, its conclusions, and how such lapses in security could be avoided. I might also state for the record that in the spirit of ‘gentlemanliness’, we agreed not to publish full details of how our investigation might be replicated by others.

I find it regrettable, but sadly all too predictable, that a university staff member might think so little of both The University Observer and of his own employer to assume that neither party might have acted in this matter with preserving the safety and security of student records in mind.

Yours, etc, Gavan Reilly Deputy Editor

otwo works overtime to bring you the best in arts and culture news, we don’t even let him go home to sleep, give him a pat on the back next time you see him round campus

Photo Gavan Reilly

The writer of the letter in question chose this route to air their opinion, and this in itself raises a serious concern for the editorial team of this publication. If there is a perception among our readers that we do not publish the letters we receive, we must be quick to dispel it.

Every letter received by The Uni-

versity Observer is read and considered for submission to this very page. Indeed, UCD students are not such avid letter writers that we find ourselves innundated with missives regarding our publication. As such, it is fair and true to say that almost every letter received makes it way on to the bottom of this page. In

this same vein, all of our material is published on our website and allows readers the opportunity to comment should they wish to.

All we ask in return is the right to reply.

Thank you.

Contributors: Volume XVI, Issue 8 Editor Catriona Laverty Deputy Editor Gavan Reilly Art & Design Director Kristin McKnight otwo Editor Colin Sweetman News Editor Bridget Fitzsimons Comment Editor James Fagan Features Editor Peter Molloy Chief Features Writer Matt Gregg Science & Health Editor Farouq Manji Sports Editor Killian Woods Image Editor Colin Scally Music Editor Grace Duffy Film & TV Editor Conor Barry Fashion Editor Seán McGovern

Contributors Agony Anto, Ruth Aravena, The Badger, Steven Balbirnie, Niamh Beirne, Eoin Brady, Richard Chambers, Alex Court, Eileen Crowley, Caitríona Farrell, Conor Feeney, Paul Fennessy, John Gallagher, Sam Geoghegan, Kris Goodbody, Sally Hayden, Katie Hughes, Rita Jacob, Daniel Keenan, Alison Lee, Claire Leyden, Jack Logan, Catherine Maguire, Jamie Martin, Brendan May, Michelle McCormick, James McDonnell, Seán McKernan, Dr McSeamy, Meghan McSweeney, Mystic Mittens, Maria Ní Shíthigh, Ciarán Ó Braonáin, Jake O’Brien, Conor O’Keeffe, Rachel O’Neill, Quinton O’Reilly, David Osborn, Michael Phoenix, Umer Rashid, Martin Scanlon, Slightly Mollified, Emer Sugrue, Talleyrand, Ekaterina Tikhoniouk, Selva Unal, Natasha Wetten

Photographers Peter Fingleton, Patrick Guiney, Meghan McSweeney Special Thanks

Richard, Peter, Graham, Malcolm, Ian, Tim, Dave, Jonathan, Ade, Emma, Jed, Bob (and the robots) at Trafford Park Printing; Paul at Higgs; Eilis O’Brien and Dominic Martella; Colm, Claire, Rory and Danielle at MCD Promotions; Dan and Orla at Friction PR; Laura and Darren at Warner; Bernie Divilly at PIAS; Rob Lowney; Giselle Jiang; Dave Carmody; Dominic, Grace, Mark, Sandra, Charlie, Jason, Paul and all the Student Centre staff; Very Special Thanks Darren Reinhardt, Sarah Cottrell, Catriona Blake for the deliciousness, Ciara Brennan for the awesomeness

Tel.: (01) 716 3119/3120 Email: info@universityobserver.ie Web: www.universityobserver.ie

Clarification It is the policy of The University Observer to rectify any errors as soon as they arise. Queries and clarifications can be addressed to info@universityobserver. ie.

18

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

SCIENCE & HEALTH

science@universityobserver.ie

Why can’t we just be friends?

It’s something most of us have been in an argument over - so Ekaterina Tikhoniouk investigates the science to find out whether men and women can ‘just be friends’

A

ll of us have probably heard the words ‘just friends’ used in some context or other, usually describing a purely platonic relationship between two people of opposite sexes. Similarly, most have heard of the myth surrounding this matter: that men and women simply cannot be friends. According to Harry Burns, an affable character from the film When Harry Met Sally: “Men and women can’t be friends – the sex part gets in the way.”

These famous words reflect the countless debates on this topic since time immemorial. Whether between relationship psychologists or drunken students crowded into a bar, the debate rages to this day.

One side of the argument states that men and women were destined to have purely romantic relationships, and that all existing cross-sex friendships are based purely on lust. On the other hand, some believe that in this modern day, men and women are capable of having purely platonic friendships.

There are probably grains of truth in both arguments. The way we view our relationships is still influenced, to some extent, by past times: in the previous era, society held the romance-only position; in fact, it was a scandal for a married man or woman to befriend someone of the opposite sex at all. Back then, men and women lived in different worlds: the women stayed at home while the men went off to work, so the main attraction was often purely a romantic one.

But changing times now mean that men and women stand on an equal ground – they live, work and relax together, often keeping sexual involvement and friendships separate. But in modern society, to quote Harry Burns, does the ‘sex part’ still get in the way? According to Hollywood, it certainly does.

It seems that modern pop culture is veering towards an old-fashioned stance – nowadays, television teaches us that every male-female friendship will inevitably blossom into romance. This message is obvious in many romcoms and in chick flicks like Maid of Honour, When Harry Met Sally, Sex Drive, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Just Friends, 13 Going On 30… the list goes on and on.

In fact, even the Harry Potter series isn’t immune to the trend, as evident in the changing relationship between Ron and Hermione. It seems that according to Hollywood, men and women just aren’t meant to have purely platonic relationships – and that being ‘just friends’ simply doesn’t happen. On the silver screen, friendship is merely a barrier that must be overcome in order for the pair to live happily ever after.

This sort of mindset has crept into everyday life – in the real world today, when a man and woman stand talking together, people can be quick to jump to conclusions. Many people pointblank refuse to believe that such men and women can be ‘just friends’, and in a recent online survey, over a third of participants admitted to feeling jealousy over their boyfriend or girlfriend having close friends of the opposite sex.

Another mindset in today’s culture is the belief that male-female friendships are based on one person (often the man) nursing an attraction, with the other person dutifully ignoring it for the sake of the friendship. Online surveys and unofficial research have shown that many women, in fact, experience a friendship with a man regardless of whether they find him attractive or not, though men are more likely to strike up friendships with a woman they find attractive.

Although these findings can’t be fully verified, at the very least they highlight a predominant trend. But culture is one thing: what do the real experts think?

Psychologists agree that there are many barriers, both psychological and social, to men and women being able to remain as platonic friends. These divides and biases manifest themselves early in life – from the age of five or six, boy and girls begin to play mostly with others of their gender, with the sexes only meeting again at the start of adolescence.

In juvenile society it was – and still is – seen as somehow inappropriate for a girl to be friends with mostly boys, and vice versa. Each sex is required to fit its own gender stereotype – a girl shouldn’t go haring off with a group of boys to climb trees, while a boy shouldn’t show interest in girls’ games. While this situation has certainly changed in the past years, an echo still remains.

Another substantial barrier to malefemale friendships is the fact that the deeper the feelings of friendship between a man and woman, the greater the chance of them being more than just good friends. This means that friendship can often turn into a romantic relationship – a worldwide survey compiled by international dating website Match.com showed that 62 per cent of participants have had a platonic relationship that had crossed the line and became romantic or sexual.

But no matter how long relationship gurus and psychology enthusiasts drone on about sexual tensions and secret desires, it must be admitted that there are also numerous exceptions to the rule. There are some friendships that are based purely on platonic love – as too many of us know, not every friendship winds up turning into romance.

Another interesting exception was discovered by a study by J.W. Shepherd. Do you remember the neighbour’s boy who used to swim naked in your paddlingpool with you? Or the best friend you’ve known since Junior Infants, whom your parents always secretly wished

you’d marry, despite his acne, scrawny chicken legs and his aversion to personal hygiene? In most cases, you won’t be able to think of such childhood friends in an amorous way, no matter what, and this reaction has a deep-seated psychological importance behind it.

Through his research of a kibbutz community in India, Shepherd found that if children, whether related or not, are reared together or in close proximity, it will act as a sexual aversion, preventing them seeing each other as potential lovers later. Thus, Shepherd concluded that prepubescent friendship acts as a mental deterrent against future romances between two parties.

More than a decade of research has passed since the release of When Harry Met Sally, and yet we still have no conclusive result about whether men and women can be ‘just friends’ or not.

Looks like it’s up to you all to decide for yourselves!

“In juvenile society it was – and still is – seen as somehow inappropriate for a girl to be friends with mostly boys, and vice versa”

02.02.10

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

SCIENCE & HEALTH

science@universityobserver.ie

Unravelling the web

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Comparing spiders to lions and webs to their dynasties, Caitríona Farrell investigates the science behind spinning a web

erhaps you’re an arachnophobe, a Spiderman fanatic, or maybe you just want your own Spiderpig. Whichever category you fall into, it’s impossible to deny how phenomenal the spider web is as a natural structure.

Spiderwebs are a place where insects become pasted to what resembles a distorted dartboard. Its strands merge to create, in this confined habitat, a unique food web. The glistening threads sparkle as if cutlery is set: the spider’s home is, in essence, a 24- hour fast food restaurant.

It’s also where nature has recently linked arms with technology, in its remarkable attempt to mimic the biological structure.

Spider silks contain outstanding mechanical properties, with those of the Black Widow topping the poll, designating her status comparable to that of the queen bee, monarch of her beehive.

This serves as a means of differentiating spider from spider in the arachnid kingdom, attaining status based on the silk they fabricate. The Black Widow’s spindles of spider web are extremely versatile; for instance, her dragline silk can be used as a fuel to store energy.

The silver glittery lining of a web is a thermal sheet, absorbing radiation, but things get even more heated when passers-by become stitched to this patchwork design. No mercy, and no silver lining is apparent for these poor creatures, victims to this net of sticky residue and stores of energy.

In nature, the glue-like gossamer that

spiders use to form webs is secreted from the creature’s silk glands, transported to the spinneret through a duct where the arrangement takes shape. The spider then squirts out a thick gel of a silk solution before using their hind legs, body weight and centre of gravity to fashion their consistent design by elongating the gel into long threads. Spinning threadlike filaments and riding in air currents (a process called “ballooning”), they can extend the threads in an orderly manner.

Essentially, the spinning of spider silk is

19

the process of morphing a liquid thread into a solid. However, the explicit details of the process are still mysteriously unknown.

But there may be more than just natural interest to the Black Widow’s dragline silk. Its properties have been carefully studied in the synthetic manufacturing world and its applications could extend to the construction of lightweight, super-strong body armour. There have also been reasonable developments in medical technologies – researchers have

already filed patents after identifying the two proteins, MaSp1 and MaSp2, that compose dragline silk. As a result it has emerged that these scientists have completely cracked the web’s genetic code. Production of this protein could be carried out by inserting the correct genetic data into a host, such as bacteria.

Nevertheless, the challenge lies in the spinning of the silk. There are many artificial spinning techniques that could be viable; it’s just a matter of experimentation to identify the most efficient type.

Nothing to date has been manufactured to be as efficient as the natural dragline silk, but its study has identified the ingredients and combinations necessary for manufacture in the artificial world.

Weaving and paving its way into the medical field, the spider’s silky threads may have medicinal application. Arachnophobes need not fret, though – spiders might be of more economic value than one would expect. Forget paracetamol: a pharmacy near you will soon be updating to brands such as ‘webetamol’. As for dressing a graze? You’ll be sure to invest in a durable, reliable roll of cobweb, which will do the trick better than any of the synthetic plasters stocked in chemists at present.

Spider webs rival the strength of steel and the elasticity of rubber, so the production of new bio-based adhesives seems promising as a greener replacement for the current petroleum-based merchandise. Scientists presently lack knowledge about web glue, the coating of web threads, but it is thought to be made of glycoproteins, or proteins with sugar units attached. Irrespective of its makeup, it is boasted to be one of the globe’s strongest biological glues. Even the military has expressed a keen interest in these fibres, hoping to create thinner but stronger packaging films for soldiers’ readymade meals. Textile companies responsible for the manufacture of nylon and Lycra are also monitoring such developments with an eager eye.

Another remaining spidery mystery is

“Forget paracetamol: a pharmacy near you will soon be updating to brands such as ‘webetamol’” how a huge web plastered Lake Tawakoni State Park in Texas, when a pandemonium of spider ‘sheets’ trapped the park in a wide film in August 2007. Texas was in complete awe as the superweb drew over 3,000 visitors over the three-day Labour Day break.

Texas’s wasn’t a typical web – it was “sheet webbing”, entirely blanketing a large area of trees, and typical of a web spun by a funnel spider. Observations suggest that the spider population of the park expanded due to the wet conditions of the summer, resulting in a rather large abundance of small insects for the spiders to feast. To balance the food web, a mountain of spiders appeared to spin a web big enough to feed the entire colony.

If genetic engineering can generate synthetic fibres of spider web, the future may just pose the possibility of genetically engineering Homer Simpson’s Spider Pig. From artificial tendons and ligaments, parachutes and bulletproof vests, we might have to reconsider our view of this eight-legged creature, because without it we may not have a leg to stand on in the future. The spider’s products could be instrumental as we progress into a new decade.

The spider is a powerful creature which may be emerging as king of the jungle. As an Ethiopian proverb wisely notes, “when spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.”

Netbooks and left hooks: tech in 2010 With the first month of 2010 already spawning a new breed of portable computer, Seán Mc Kernan asks what the remainder of 2010 has to offer in the world of consumer technology 2009 saw the emergence of many new technologies, the most prominent of which was the netbook. The smaller, more portable version of the laptop has seen a huge increase in sales in past months. Touchscreen technologies also increased usage in devices like the laptop and mobile phone. So with 2010 now upon us, what can we expect? Will the hovercar be released; will phones continue to get smaller and easier to lose?

January has been a good month for new gadgets with the release of the iPad and the CES convention in Las Vegas setting the standard for the year.

Only last Wednesday, Apple ended almost a year of speculation by finally

“Will the hover car be released or will phones continue to get smaller and easier to lose?”

unveiling the tablet that the world knew it was planning all along: the ten-inch iPad. Comparable in size to four iPhones stuck together, the tablet will be capable of running most programs available on a laptop and all apps currently available for iPhone. With no keyboard, the iPad’s main innovation is the fact that input is based entirely on touching the screen.

The iPad will be able to download and display e-books and magazines, as well as browse the internet through its inbuilt WiFi access and 3G mobile internet capability.

It does have major flaws, however, such as no support for Adobe’s Flash Player – meaning that unless Apple provides custom software, the iPad won’t play YouTube videos. Windows versions of the tablet computer have been on the market for years, and although less hyped than the iPad, perform much of the same functions. Regardless, disputed figures suggest that sales in the tablet computer market may reach ten million this year, so Apple will be ensuring their slice of the action.

The Consumer Electronics Association product show in early January is one of the largest trade shows in the world, showcasing the latest domestic technologies. This year the largest selection of gadgets on display belonged to the television sector.

The television has largely remained unchanged since it was developed, with the only improvements being size,

picture quality and amount of channels (mostly showing Friends reruns). Stagnation in these fields, along with the increasing use of the internet to watch video, has forced the development of new technologies.

The greatest of these is 3DTV, where the viewer wears a pair of polarising glasses that create a three-dimensional image in their minds. The 3D market is burgeoning and is particularly supported by Sky, who have installed 3Denabled televisions in London pubs to broadcast select football and rugby matches in high-definition and in 3D. This summer’s FIFA World Cup will be the first major sporting competition in which every game will also be filmed in 3D as well as in the standard 2D format.

The third dimension isn’t just confined to TV: computers are also getting in on the action. Computer games can already be converted to 3D to a limited extent, but full 3D games are expected to hit the market by the end of the year.

In addition to 3D games, consoles will become increasingly interactive. Following the Wii, both Sony and Microsoft have announced the introduction of gesture-recognising cameras that can eliminate the need for controllers in the

next generation of PlayStation and Xbox consoles. Instead of using a controller, the player becomes the controller with all movements monitored – even down to the tiniest twitch of the fingers. The camera can also identify users based upon their voice and faces.

No longer satisfied with dominating the internet search market, Google has decided to enter the mobile phone and operating system markets, with the Nexus One phone and the Chrome OS respectively.

The Nexus One touch phone, already available in the UK and due for release across Europe later this year, has been described as an ‘iPhone killer’, with many

ingenious features such as a voice recognition programme that can translate into another language and speak it aloud.

Google Chrome OS, meanwhile, is a new operating system planned to be officially released this summer, aimed at heavy internet users and designed specifically for netbooks. Its main claimed advantage is that it minimises the number of files saved on your hard drive by allowing files to be stored online, or “in the cloud”, instead of on one single hard drive.

With all this technology to look forward to, 2010 is shaping up to be a good year for any nerds out there. Still, I won’t be satisfied until I get my on a jet pack.

20

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

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02.02.10

02.02.10

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

21

SPORT

Club profile: UCD Sub-Aqua UCD’s Sub-Aqua Club has gone from strength to strength since being founded in 1993 and is always happy to accommodate new members, writes Jack Logan

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t this time of the year it nearly seems too cold to walk by the sea, never mind diving under the surface intentionally. Yet this is how the UCD Sub-Aqua club spend some of their weekends, all in the name of fun.

In comparison to other parts of the world, Ireland might seem an unlikely place to find a vibrant diving scene. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, according to the club’s P.R.O., Cathal Ó Fearghail, who has been with the club for two years.

Having learnt how to scuba dive in the warm and tropical waters off Thailand, Ó Fearghail too was apprehensive about getting involved in the scuba club, but these were quickly allayed during his first trip away with the club.

It is these same trips that Ó Fearghail points to as the highlight of the club’s activities – not just for the diving, but also the social aspect. The weekend trips are in addition to the weekly dives in nearby Dublin Bay.

While not being defined as competitively as other sports, scuba diving obviously requires an absolute attention to detail in both training and the equipment. Nonetheless, the UCD club caters for all levels through their training programmes

and provides all the basic equipment.

The spirit and bond in the club is very apparent when it comes to their approach to equipment. Senior members are more than willing to lend their own gear to new members that may only wish to dip their toes in the water before fully committing to the sport.

The training provided by the diving club also represents great value for money when compared to the classes offered by commercial schools, and the weekend trips are run as inexpensively as possible.

Looking out to sea in this country, however, one can be forgiven for thinking that Irish seawater is as green as the grass and that surely there can be nothing to see down in the murky depths. This is, evidently, a common misconception –some of the sites in Ireland are spectacular, mainly due to the benefits of Ireland sitting on the edge of the continental shelf.

With hundreds of miles of

coastline, Ireland is spoilt for choice in its diving locations, but the UCD club tends to focus on the western seaboard where the sites are better suited for all levels of experience.

The club is always looking for students, alumni or staff to join its ranks and Refreshers’ Day (tomorrow, 3rd February) provides an opportunity to those who would like to join or the many who may want to get more information.

The Premier League has battles throughout, and the inability of any team to mount a consistent title challenge has sustained the excitement at the top, writes Ciarán Ó Braonáin

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running that even European football is not guaranteed.

Liverpool’s dramatic downward spiral has seen them lose seven games already, compared to just two last year.

The Merseysiders’ shocking performances have seen Benitez’s transfer dealings come under scrutiny, with the team looking decidedly ordinary in the absence of Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard – the latter appearing to be a mere shadow of his former self when fit.

Despite unimpressive returns from both Dimitar Berbatov and Michael Owen, Manchester United have managed to somewhat fill the void left by Cristiano Ronaldo through the coming of age of Wayne Rooney. With the born-to-be star topping the goal scoring charts United have managed to stay in the running in spite of uncharacteristic defensive frailties.

Arsene Wenger has once again confounded his critics and guided his youngsters towards contention, while maintaining his dedication to attractive attacking football. Ancelotti’s Chelsea have on occasion looked like running away with the title only to suffer shock defeats to Wigan, Aston Villa and Manchester City.

Liverpool’s collapse coupled with the rise of Aston Villa, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City sees the most realistic challenge to the dominance of the ‘top four’ of recent years. Martin O’Neill’s exciting Villa side look like finally realising their potential, with

Scott Dann because he’s cheap, Fabregas for his pretty name, Crouch for his dancing skills… all topped off with Bridget Fitzsimons’ pink and purple strip

It’s not this kind of football fantasy that Bridget Fitzsimons has in mind…

www.ucdsac.org

Decline in quality increases the soccer excitement

re-season consensus saw Chelsea earmarked as favourites for the Premiership with Carlo Ancelotti taking up the reigns of the most formidable squad in the league.

The Italian’s main rival appeared to be Liverpool, last year’s runners-up who had come so close only to gift Manchester United the title with some unprecedented slip ups. The Champions seemed to be written off before a ball had been kicked, having lost both their talisman and crowd favourite in Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez respectively. The arrival of the pricey Antonio Valencia and the shock signing of Michael Owen did little to dispel the pundits’ doubts.

Arsenal were also deemed out of the running, as the side that finished fourth had failed to add the requisite ‘big names’ to their ranks. The arrival of big money and big names at Eastlands saw Manchester City supporters dare to dream of a title, but few commentators believed they would achieve such immediate success.

A little over halfway in, and the closing season of the decade has proved to be the most exciting and unpredictable of them all. As soon as one team looks set to pull away and continue on a string of impressive performances, an unexpected spanner is thrown in the works and everything seems to fall to pieces. Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal – all far from their best – are locked in a three-way tussle for top spot, with Liverpool so far out of the

A Girl’s Fantasy with Wayne Rooney

the impressive James Milner embodying the manager’s focus on team work and attacking football. The arrival of Harry Redknapp to White Hart Lane has seen Tottenham finally swap midtable mediocrity for genuine European ambitions, aided significantly by the resurgence of Jermain Defoe’s career.

The final club in the shake-up for a Champions League spot is Manchester City. Despite the scandalous sacking of Mark Hughes mid-season, the Citizens have continued to push forward. Like their closest neighbours, City have not been as solid at the back as they would have liked, but the immense Shay Given has proved a key signing and with Carlos Tevez in the form that he is, anything is possible.

Birmingham City have been the surprise package of the season and surprised critics with their recent fifteen game unbeaten run stretching back to the end of October. Their impressive run saw them pull away from the long list of relegation candidates, some of whom look doomed for the drop.

Things look bleak for the like of Portsmouth, and though Hull City have shown the ability to grind out draws in the odd fixture, they still cannot muster up a three point worthy performance and will probably join Portsmouth in relegation. The Premier League may have suffered a decline in overall talent from the top down, but no one can argue that it doesn’t make for a more exciting league.

Recently, I’ve been engaging in some deviant – and quite shocking – behaviour.

When I tell people what I’ve been up to, they’re amazed, surprised, and in some cases even appalled. Fantasy football is not the type of thing you’d associate with someone like me.

While I’m hardly a bimbo, sports are not my forte. I love fashion and film, and I want to specialise in Feminist Theory if I do a Masters. I play the flute, and was always picked last in sports in school. I don’t know my defenders from my strikers, and had to have the offside rule explained to me in terms of shoes (if you’re queuing at the till with no money, it’d be rude of you to go ahead of the woman ahead of you, unless your friend throws you their purse…).

It was something so simple that inspired this Sex and the City-watching, sports ignorant news writer to try out fantasy football. I’m horribly competitive, you see, and love nothing more than getting one up on my production weekend friend, Sports Editor Killian Woods.

I started with trepidation. A mini-league was created so that I could begin midseason with everyone else starting on zero.

Coming up with the ever-creative name of Team News, I went about creating a pretty pink strip. Then the tricky part started: picking the team.

While I’m no expert, I do know a few players. I started off alone, begging little nuggets of advice from Killian and our Deputy Editor, Gavan. However, to my credit, I made a lot of the selection myself.

While I may have eschewed traditionally ‘good’ players like Ashley Cole and Jermain Defoe, simply because they had cheated on their women, I assembled a team that had Killian jealous.

I knew that Wayne Rooney was a sure bet, I liked Peter Crouch’s robot dance when he scored, and admired Ryan Giggs for being an older player in a young man’s game. Being Irish, Shay Given was a shooin, as was Damien Duff, and on advice from those around me, I picked Aston Villa defenders. I liked the sound of Cesc Fabregas’ name, and my remaining players and subs were picked by their performance this season and out of the money I had left.

“It was something so simple that inspired this Sex and the City watching, sports ignorant news writer to try out fantasy football” And it’s actually going pretty well so far.

Not only is my team second in our office mini-league, but our illustrious Sports Editor is languishing in last place - his resentment is delicious!

For something I thought would be so alien to me, I’m having a lot of fun.Production weekends are brightened up by my team scoring points, and I’m finding myself genuinely upset when I do badly.

Who knows - maybe this is the start of a long and prolific career in fantasy sports.

Hopefully Fantasy Six Nations will go as well for me as fantasy Premier League has so far…

Read Bridget Fitzsimons’ Fantasy Premier League diary, and Catriona Laverty’s forthcoming exploits in Fantasy Six Nations, at universityobserver.ie/blogs

22

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

SPORT

sport@universityobserver.ie

Super Bowl XLIV promises plenty of points Sunday’s clash between the New Orleans Saint and the Indianapolis Colts looks set to be a high-scoring cracker between two potent offensive sides, writes Sam Geoghegan

T

he greatest show on Earth is here once again. Super Bowl XLIV kicks off just after 11pm this Sunday and guarantees to be an exceptional game, with two high-powered offenses battling it out for the Vince Lombardi Trophy.

AFC champions the Indianapolis Colts take on NFC champions and Super Bowl debutants, the New Orleans Saints. The matchup is unusual yet intriguing, as the NFL playoffs are more often than not defined by terrific defensive play. The old cliché that “defence wins championships” certainly doesn’t apply here; both these teams will be deserved winners.

Both outfits began the season in blistering form, sweeping past their opponents with consummate ease. This season was the first time in NFL history that two teams started a season 13-0, and while both quests for a perfect season ultimately died, both teams assured themselves of

top seeding in their respective conferences, and earned themselves a first round bye and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

The Indianapolis Colts are led by four-time MVP, Peyton Manning, at quarterback and rookie head coach, Jim Caldwell. The Colts were 14-0 before facing the New York Jets in week 16 when Caldwell pulled his starters during the third quarter, resulting in their first loss of the season. While many questioned his decision, the Colts are now headed for Miami for the big dance, and are one win away from their second title in four years. The postseason break refreshed the Colts who were as sharp as ever when beating the Baltimore Ravens 20-3 in their first playoff.

The Colts are an offensive juggernaut and with Manning under centre, defences must be at their best. Manning has one of the NFL’s best offensive arsenals at his dis-

in some time, culminating in a destructive 45-14 demolition previous NFC champions the Arizona Cardinals, and an impressive 31-28 victory over the Minnesota Vikings in the NFC title game.

Led by Pro Bowl quarterback Drew Brees on offence, and defensive MVP Darren Sharper, the Saints can make plays on both sides of the ball. Like the Colts, New Orleans also have an upperechelon offense with Drew Brees as the architect. Indianapolis’ defence must be ready to face an offence similar to its own, as the Saints too are loaded with talent. It is imperative for Marques Colston, Jeremy Shockey and Reggie Bush to be on their game if the Saints are to upset the Colts on Sunday.

This matchup boils down to what defence breaks first. It’s a question of “bend don’t break” for these defences.

The Saints’ defence looked a little ragged

“Indianapolis’ defence must be ready to face an offence similar to its own” posal in Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark and Joseph Addai, but is not afraid to pass to lesser lights like Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie. Manning’s surgeon-like approach in dissecting the NFL’s number one ranked defence, the Jets, two weeks ago confirmed once again why he is one of the greatest to have ever played the game.

The New Orleans Saints are one of the more explosive teams the NFL has seen

down the stretch (though their rough, heavy-handed approach to Brett Favre in the Championship game proved effective).

Peyton Manning is the best in the business at recognising the blitz and he will punish the Saints. If Manning can play so well against tremendous defences of the Ravens and Jets, one can only imagine what sort of performance is in store for the neutral on Sunday. What the Colt defence lack in size, they make up for in speed with Dwight Freeney reeking havoc rushing the quarterback. Brees must be alert at all times as Freeney rushes from his blindside.

This writer favours the Colts to win by ten. Saints will be unable to stop the Manning-led machine, will become onedimensional, and pass: a defence’s dream.

It should be a classic.

Super Bowl XLIV, between the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints, is live from Miami on BBC One this Sunday.

Golden Generation can shine yet again Quarterback Drew Brees did not shy away from the prospect of rebuilding the Colts’ self-confidence, and will be key to New Orleans’ chances of an upset

Saints come marching in

Five years on from the devastation that Hurricane Katrina caused to the Crescent City, Richard Chambers looks at the pride the New Orleans Saints have restored to their home city When he takes to the field in Miami on 7th February with the task of ending the Saints’ 43-year wait for a Super Bowl, quarterback Drew Brees will carry the hopes of a city that is ready to celebrate. With the destitution inflicted upon the area still a recent memory, and with the continuing plight of the Lower Ninth Ward still a reality, the rise of Brees and his talented Saints team has rekindled the famous festive atmosphere in New Orleans.

The transformation of the New Orleans Saints has been remarkable. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina during late August 2005, the Saints were forced to fulfil their home fixtures in various locations while the Superdome served as the ‘shelter of last resort’ for 30,000 people. The torn roof of the Superdome became one of the enduring images of the suffering inflicted upon Louisiana during the hurricane, but the dome has now become a symbol of unity and hope in the embattled city.

The return of the Saints to the Superdome in the 2006 season was a source of considerable pride to the Gulf coast. The 30,000 beleaguered replaced with 70,000 fans displaying the same ‘vive’ that defines New Orleans as the home of jazz and Mardi Gras. The acquisition of coach Sean Payton, college superstar Reggie Bush and Drew Brees was to prove a significant milestone in the history of the team.

Brees, jettisoned by the San Diego Chargers, was forced to choose between a career in tropical Miami or

the ravaged New Orleans. The quarterback made it a personal mission to restore pride to a city that has lost so much. The devastation he was met with did little to daunt his resolve.

“For me, I looked at that as an opportunity to be part of the rebuilding process,” he enthused at the time.

“How many people get that opportunity in their life to be a part of something like that?” The charity work of his foundation and his unique talent on the field has not gone unnoticed by the faithful. His rapport with the fans and teammates is peerless in modern sport: hailed as a saviour both on and off the field by the city, it is little wonder that fans have gifted him the nickname ‘Breesus’.

The financial and emotional lift that a Super Bowl victory would bring to New Orleans is immeasurable.

The economic benefit of hosting two major playoff games has been obvious in the French Quarter, where tourism revenue has seen a significant increase – a fact that Brees was quick to note immediately following his team’s dramatic victory over Minnesota, which took them to the season finale.

Swathes of revellers on Bourbon Street have chanted Brees’ name and the team’s unofficial anthem “Who Dat?”. Their joy at seeing their team capture the NFC Championship could only be surpassed by an unlikely victory over the Colts. But for Brees and his Saints, a Super Bowl ring would be a fitting reward for their endeavour.

With the opening games of the Six Nations Championship kicking off this weekend, Daniel Keenan casts an eye over the strength of Ireland’s squad After an unbeaten and victorious 2009 season, Ireland go into the Six Nations with the weight of expectation on their backs. Possessing a squad of players that have finally fulfilled their potential and applied their ability to become the best side in the northern hemisphere, coach Declan Kidney has a job to do in maintaining this winning mentality.

Ireland’s only real problems lie in their front row, though with the likes of Marcus Horan continuing his comeback from illness by playing with the Ireland ‘A’ team on Sunday, the front row is likely to have strong cover in a matter of weeks.

Cian Healy will probably start against Italy, and has been in good form for Leinster this season, particularly at the loosehead, but at times he has been less than impressive in the scrum. Ireland were bullied in the scrum against South Africa in November, and Healy will know that to keep his place throughout the Six Nations, the scrum will have to be a rock of consistency.

The longstanding problem of what to do if John Hayes gets injured also still remains. Mike Ross – and more probably, Tony Buckley – will be vying for the chance to step in. Neither, however, are players capable of matching the raw physicality and presence that Hayes’ bring to the Irish pack.

London Irish captain Bob Casey is a notable exclusion from the Ireland squad, though with respective Leinster and Munster captains in the shape of Leo Cullen and Paul O’Connell, along with the experience of Donnacha O’Callaghan, Kidney will feel he has enough quality and experience in the second row to dodge any possible crises. Should there be an urgent need to draft in replacements, 6’11” Devin Toner warrants consideration and a taste of a full international squad.

Working through the forwards numerically, a sudden abundance of back row talent gives Kidney an amazing strength in depth in a position that was probably Ireland’s best during the last Six Nations.

The powerhouses of Stephen Ferris and David Wallace at either side of the ever-present Jamie Heaslip, would probably have been the British and Irish Lions’ starting back row, if it wasn’t for Ferris’ unfortunate injury. With Sean O’Brien, Kevin McLaughlin, Shane Jennings and Niall Ronan, Ireland have an array of talented back-ups, without

even mentioning Denis Leamy, who has been plighted with injury once more.

As in the autumn, Jonathan Sexton and Ronan O’Gara will go toe-to-toe for the fly-half berth.

After a man-of-the-match award on his debut against Fiji, and a strong performance against the World Champions, Sexton proved himself capable of performing on the international rugby stage. His broken hand following the autumn internationals has allowed O’Gara to rack up more game time since, though – games in which the Munster man has produced some sterling performances. Sexton’s heroics in Twickenham against London Irish, where he capped a good all round game with a courageous drop goal, should have cemented his place.

After Paddy Wallace’s selection for the Ireland ‘A’ squad, Leinster duo Gordon D’Arcy and Brian O’Driscoll can confidently expect to renew their centre partnership in international rugby, while Tommy Bowe and Rob Kearney have their respective positions nailed down. A serious knee injury to Luke Fitzgerald rules him out for the entire Six Nations, and it appears to be a battle of youth versus experience for his vacant position. Shane Horgan has rolled back the years this season, but faces stiff competition from Keith Earls. On the basis of form alone, the 22-year-old should start, especially after Horgan’s stuttering performance against London Irish gave food for thought.

Now with more strength in depth, this year’s squad looks capable of even outshining last year’s.

Another Grand Slam is well within this team’s capabilities.

02.02.10

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

SPORT

sport@universityobserver.ie

The Badger

Fear not, John Terry – even if the Badger had a smoking hot wife, two kids and a was father of the year, he’d hit that our average football fan colloquially uses them in discussion.

They are some of the most common sayings down the pub, and even Jamie Redknapp has invented his own. Football clichés are a scourge on society, most often projecting those people who use them as fools with no grasp of common sense, let alone football.

There are particular hackneyed phrases that the Badger detests, and your TB-ridden chum enjoys picking on people who try and adapt them into their frivolous debates against the allknowing and perfectly faultless Badger (well, perfect apart from the aforementioned traces of the consumption).

Racking his brain for 800 words on the most common clichés, the Badger cannot place them in any sort of inane order, let alone pick which of the many Proverbs for Dummies he hates the most. Many maxims involving Liverpool Merseysiders rile the Badger. One mightn’t think that a badger would have many friends who are Liverpool fans, but being constantly reminded that Mali’s epic comeback versus Angola in the African Cup of Nations was similar to “that magical night in Istanbul” doesn’t exactly rub the Badger up the right way.

It is no coincidence that this first cliché is directly associated with the Badger’s most hated club, and it is their most closet-inhabiting self-loathing fan, the Beeb’s very own Alan Green, who is the next target. Any speech picked up amidst this commentator’s intermittent spitting is usually an uneducated pile of horse porn, for the most part fabricated from his knowledge of the Norn Iron Anti-Taig All Protestants Windscreen Wiper Fluid Premier League.

What the Badger is, paradoxically, trying to portray is that Alan Green is himself a cliché: a lifelong monologue consisting of ridiculous statements inciting conspiracies like, “I bet you Platini loves this result,” and other daft re-

marks such as “who cares about the UEFA League or Europa Cup?” The world will be a better place when he finally admits his allegiances don’t just lie with Glentoran or Linfield, but with Liverpool.

Getting down to the real clichés and not just the Badger’s most hated football personalities, the Badger is particularly peeved by everyday English phrases like “typical forward’s tackle”, “he’s lost the dressing room” and “at the

wonder what Steven Gerrard does with the hours of his day between 9am and 11pm because according to the Liverscumlians’ captain, everything occurs just before the day ends: “At the end of the day, we need to concentrate more”… “at the end of the day, John Terry is a great guy because it is usually around midday his cheats on his wife”… “at the end of the day, our fans rob our houses when we play away matches”.

A fitting end to an indepth look at clichés in football would be appraisal of a God walking among us. Men want to be him, women want to be with him. He wears tight trousers to show off his masculine bits. Jamie Literally has literally created a new saying that has lamentably become a common word in most football cliques.

Strutting his stuff on Sky’s Super Mega Awesome Smashing Sunday With Ford football show, Redknapp has obviously misunderstood his primary school teaching on adverbs, and circumvented basic grammar to create his own meaning for a word that is in no way open to interpretation.

With Redknapp’s aversion to detail adding to the overall experience, we should never forget that the ball is “literally” glued to Messi’s boot, while the new football being used in the Premier League this year has the potential to “literally” explode off a player’s foot. Sometimes Jamie’s attention to detail delves too deep, into areas of the game that evade common public knowledge. Your average football fan, for example, could not be expected to know that Ashley Cole had to cut back inside onto his left, because he “literally” hasn’t got a right foot.

Really, where would we be without Jamie Redknapp? The Badger speculates that we would be “literally” sprawled out on the floor, literally dead, literally not breathing, literally soiling ourselves until we were literally covered in it, literally.

“Men want to be him, women want to be with him and he wears tight trousers to show off his masculine bits” end of the day”. Please explain to this naïve old fool what possible definition “he’s lost the dressing room” could accurately hold: in recent weeks has longtime amnesia sufferer Rafael Benitez being wandering around the corridors of Anfield, desperately trying to find his mislaid changing room? Similarly, a “typical forward’s tackle” stereotypes all attacking players with the inability to dispossess an opponent for no reason.

Don’t forget, however, the cliché rolled out come win, lose, draw, or general buffoonery: “at the end of the day”. One would

23

Jamie Redknapp, pictured literally espousing genius on Sky Sports. Literally.

‘Fenno’ on Sport In his now regular column, Paul Fennessy discusses the furore surrounding John Terry’s alleged affair with the girlfriend of Wayne Bridge, and examines the psyche of the beleaguered England skipper

Modern sports stars tend to think they are untouchable. From Tiger Woods’ much publicised affairs to Cristiano Ronaldo’s persistent on-field petulance, it is often the case that the most talented of these individuals participate in the most disreputable behaviour.

Since the Premier League’s birth and the onset of Sky TV, hype and money have become part of the modern game. And naturally, when an undue level of importance becomes attached to something, those involved sometimes respond by acquiring Messianic complexes.

John Terry is no exception to this trend, assuming recent allegations surrounding his private life are indeed true. Moreover, an interesting question has also arisen: should Terry, with this news, be stripped of the England captaincy?

Normally, it would be unreasonable to argue that a player’s personal life should bear any impact on his footballing one. Terry’s situation is complicated by the fact that the affair in question involves the ex-girlfriend of Wayne Bridge – a potential England teammate this summer.

Therefore, it seems difficult to dispute that Terry’s capacity to inspire and demand respect from his teammates – and the British public – will be diminished to some extent.

What message, for example, will it send out to younger fans if Terry’s misdemeanour is ignored?

But there is also a compelling counter-argument stating that Terry is an exceptional case and should be treated as such. It goes without saying that his on-field ability is exemplary.

Terry is arguably the finest central defender in the Premiership, if not the world. He has been voted best defender in the Champions League in both 2005 and 2008, in addition to earning recognition from his colleagues when he was voted PFA Player of the Year in 2005.

Yet despite the numerous accolades he has garnered, Terry appears to be an unhappy individual. Perhaps not coincidentally, he is someone whose life has been dominated by football since his youth.

Terry joined Chelsea at fourteen, where he was undoubtedly shielded from the real world and moulded into the talismanic figure he would become. Consequently, Terry’s talent

became apparent so swiftly that he never endured the struggle to gain recognition which many top players initially experienced.

Terry had everything his own way, without ever experiencing the merest flirtation with failure that is often crucial in the building of a person’s character. Instead he was constantly cosseted by officials at Stamford Bridge with his destiny forecast from day one. Terry is quickly learning that he has no divine right to always get what he wants.

A crucial moment in his life occurred amid the conclusion of the 2008 European Cup Final. During the penalty shoot-out against Manchester United, it was Terry whose spot-kick would have secured Chelsea the one elusive trophy. Terry has since expressed the disconcerting extent to which his penalty miss affects him, admitting that he thinks about this moment at least once a day.

Moreover, this emotional vulnerability has been reflected in his behaviour on other occasions aside from the affair. Reports have constantly linked him with unseemly activities: he was accused of charging fans undue fees for giving them tours of Chelsea’s training ground and consequently pocketing the cash. He even gained a reputation as a chronic love cheat before getting married.

Terry is no angel on the pitch. He has shown a consistent capacity to commit rash tackles and on more than one occasion, his angry confrontations of referees – following a questionable decision of theirs – has bordered on psychopathic. This is not the type of behaviour an England captain would ideally engage in.

Ultimately, it is not of crucial importance that other players like their captain and it is paramount that they respect him. Terry’s continuing inability to learn from the error of his ways – so starkly highlighted by his exhibition of disrespect and insensitivity towards a teammate’s feelings, not to mention his own family – should ensure Fabio Capello makes the correct decision and strips Terry of the England captaincy.

In the immediate aftermath of the aforementioned Champions League Final penalty shoot-out, Frank Lampard described Terry as ‘a man’s man’. Sadly, in this instance, he has failed to live up to such a billing.

24

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

02.02.10

SPORT

sport@universityobserver.ie

With Super Bowl Sunday around the corner, Sam Geoghegan and Richard Chambers preview the ultimate NFL contest

OBSERVER

sport

Page 21

Earls runs the show for Collidge UCD 25 Highfield RFC 11 Quality and composure in the out-half position was the difference between the two sides as UCD earned a home win, writes Meghan McSweeney

T

he Belfield Bowl witnessed a convincing home victory last Saturday afternoon as UCD took on Cork side Highfield RFC in Division 2 of the AIB All-Ireland League.

With the promotion of blindside flanker Rhys Ruddock and scrum half John Cooney to Allen Clarke’s Ireland under-20 side earlier in the week, the UCD team saw a slight reshuffle as Eoghan Conron, Robert Shanley and Ciaran Ruddock were all drafted into the starting fifteen.

UCD could not have asked for a better start to the game. Within eight minutes of kick off, out-half Niall Earls had kicked two penalties as Collidge dominated possession, preventing the visitors from crossing the halfway line for most of the first forty minutes.

The hosts’ back line was particularly impressive, as full back Michael Twomey and winger Cailbhe Doherty demonstrated a perfect partnership to keep play hovering around the opposition 22.

After twelve minutes, Niall Earls affirmed his sensational form from the boot, slotted over a third penalty – this time from the left side – to stretch UCD’s lead to nine points.

While Highfield applied pressure in the scrums and had intermittent periods of attack, UCD’s defensive play kept the visitors from registering a score until a penalty converted by Dave O’Brien in the fifteenth minute brought the score to 9-3.

The scoreline remained unchanged for a while thereafter; ten minutes before half time Earls made the correct decision to drop a UCD penalty to touch within five metres of Highfield’s line.

Highfield intercepted the line out, however, frustrating the stronger home side and keeping

the score at 9-3.

Two minutes later, UCD found their break.

The Bowl erupted as wonderful play from Michael Twomey, who ran from his own half and offloaded to Kevin Croke, whose deft disposal allowed Andy Cummiskey dive over and open up a significant lead. Earls’ conversion gave UCD a healthy cushion at 16-3.

The vibrant out-half retained his perfect record just before half time, dismissing his fourth penalty of the game to leave the half time score at 19-3 in favour of the students.

After the break, though, proved the old maxim that a game is always composed of two halves.

UCD started with more errors, offering the visitors some confidence as they focused play around the halfway line.

The game continued to fall the visitors’ way in the 50th minute, as Collidge’s Mark Flanagan was forced to leave the field due to a serious arm injury. The visitors registered their first points of the second half thereafter through a penalty, and momentum remained with Highfield when outside centre Peter Martin cross the line for a try five minutes later. Unfortunately for them, outhalf Dave O’Brien failed to make the conversion and the scoreline remained 19-11.

The rejuvenated Cork side retained the initiative, but UCD gained a foothold in the game once more through Earls with another successful penalty. His composure extended UCD’s lead to a scoreline of 22-11 and kept the scoreboard ticking over for the home side through their poorer spell in the game. Just as in the previous home game against Lansdowne, Earls displayed his superb reading of the game and his natural talent, kicking a difficult drop goal just three minutes later

UCD were pushed hard as the students secured an important home win.

putting daylight between the sides once more.

Highfield refused to give up the fight, though, and continued to make life difficult for UCD who spent the last five minutes defending with ferocious energy and determination. Despite Highfield’s

Photo: Meghan McSweeney

dominance at scrums and mauls, the UCD forwards produced a phenomenal work rate to protect their line as Collidge hung on for a rare home win that will do much to secure their status in Division 2 following a recent run of poor results.

UL capitalise on UCD mistakes to claim final win Martin Scanlon summarises UCD’s recent loss in the All Ireland Senior Hurling League final against University of Limerick, and examines the college side’s chances in the Fitzgibbon Cup campaign UCD’s senior hurling team’s preparations for the Fitzgibbon Cup suffered a setback at the hands of University of Limerick in the All-Ireland Senior Hurling League Final last Tuesday night. The ten-point defeat does little to reflect the overall balance of a game, which gradually slipped away from UCD in the second half.

Leading 0-5 to 0-2 after a promising opening fifteen minutes, UCD’s concession of a soft penalty proved to be the key moment in the match. Its conversion to level the game rejuvenated the Limerick side, which grew in composure for the remainder of the first half to lead by a three-

point margin at the half time whistle.

The second half performance by the UCD players failed to do justice to their undoubted qualities as UL steadily increased the gap. A Limerick goal in the final minutes of the game added an unflattering gloss to the final score. Speaking to The University Observer after the game, coach Nigel Skehan gave an honest assessment of how UL’s greater efficiency was the difference on the night.

“They’re a good team and they took their chances. When we made mistakes, they capitalised upon them like any good team would. It’s about trying to learn from those errors now.”

Attention now turns to the Fitzgibbon Cup, the premier third-level hurling competition. Preparations in the build-up to the cup have otherwise been positive. Two days prior to the final loss, UCD recorded a 4-21 to 3-10 victory over Antrim in the opening round of the Walsh Cup. The draw for the group stages hasn’t been favourable to the college side in search of their first success since 2001 with Group B also containing Cork IT, DIT and NUI Galway.

Skehan recognises that his side’s opponents are “three very strong teams” but believes that UCD have “nothing to fear from any of them, having equivalently

UL 3-13 UCD 0-12 good players and being as good a team as anyone in the competition.” The top three sides in the group will qualify for the quarter final stages.

Looking through the panel boasting an abundance of players with senior intercounty experience, Skehan has right to be confident. Those in the ranks include Sean Cummins, an All-Ireland medalist with Kilkenny last year, David Kenny from Offaly and Dubliners Joey Boland, Liam

Rushe and David ‘Dotsy’ O’Callaghan. If such players can replicate their performances for their respective counties onto the college scene, they have a great chance of reaching the final stages, which are being held in Galway this year.

For the time being, the attitude in the camp is one of “taking one game at a time”, so all focus remains on the first match against CIT in Cork this Thursday, 4th February.