XXII - OTwo - Issue 2

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Contents

2 Letter from the Editors 3 What’s Hot and What’s Not 3 Mystic Mittens 3 Soapbox: Slow Walkers - Gráinne Loughran 4 Feeling stumped? Ask Trump! - Eva Griffin 4 Spitballin’ with Alison Spittle 5 Away with the Fairies in Cappadocia Amanda Cheng

Letter From The Editors

FOOD&DRINK 6 Mongolian BBQ - Niamh O’Regan and Mina Dawood 7 We Need To Talk About Brunch - Susan Barry 7 The Underrated - Chloe Browne

GAMES 8 Super Mario Maker Review - Adam Donnelly 8 Blood Bowl II - Karl Quigley 9 Button Pushers - Adam Donnelly

FILM&TV 10 Goodfellas - Andrew Carroll 11 Mario Rosenstock Interview - David Monaghan 12 The Program - Michael O’Sullivan 12 The Intern - Fintan Maloney 13 Distorting Reality - David Monaghan 13 Top 10 Worst People to Sit beside in the Cinema - Gavin O’Donnell

CREATIVE WRITING 14 Visiting Time - Ezra Maloney 15 Selection of Poetry

CENTRE 16 Louise O’Neill - Eva Griffin

MUSIC 18 Oh Wonder - Corey Fischer 19 Album Reviews 20 Gig Guide - Aisling Kraus 20 Radar: The Dead Sets - Harry Ó’Cleirigh 21 Ode To Self Service - Eva Griffin 22 Wyvern Lingo - Aisling Kraus 23 Moonlight Daylight - Daniel Ryan

FASHION&STYLE 24 Grunge Photo Shoot 26 London Fashion Week - Corey Fischer & Katie Scanlon 27 Dublin de Rigueur - Lucy Coffey 27 Think Mink - Valerie Tierney

ARTS&LITERATURE 28 Danny Denton - Meabh Butler 28 Lorna Quinn Interview - Adam Lawler 29 Thomas Morris Interview - Rebekah Rennick 30 Arthur Riordan Interview - Valerie Tierney 31 Fatal Fourway: Discovering Santa 32 Fotografie

2

THat’s Eva and Karl

Well hello there...

For those who joined us for the first issue, welcome back! For those who didn’t, how dare you.

Regardless, this is the glorious second issue of OTwo... OTwo two, if you will. All absolutely hilarious names aside, let us tell you what we have to offer.

As usual we start with our ever so topical What’s Hot, What’s Not. If we say it’s hot, by jaysus you better believe it. Naturally our mystic feline joins us for yet another issue too.

Briefly stopping at Travel, you can read an article on Amanda Cheng’s adventure through Turkey in an attempt to find herself and her true… no sorry that’s my screenplay, never mind.

In our Food section this issue, Niamh “Oregano” O’Regan brings a feature on the brunch fad as well as a look at two top quality BBQ restaurants in Dublin.

Onto Games, our own Adam “Putin on the Ritz” Donnelly takes a look at games that really stirred up the gaming world. Because nothing says “games don’t cause violence” like a list of the most gruesome and horrific games possible. Blood Bowl II and Super Mario Maker also make an appearance for the in-house reviews.

Our Film section sees the one and only Mario Rosenstock interviewed by David “Midnight Run” Monaghan and reviews of The Program and The Intern can be seen on your left. No, the other left. Our Top Ten looks at the worst people to sit beside in the cinema and we also take a fun look at the differences between British, American and Irish comedy.

As always Creative Writing is filled with creativity. Roisin “Which Twin Am I” Murray has selected a brilliant short story called Visiting Time by Ezra Maloney. And if you’re in the mood for more aesthetic writing, we have a few poems included just beside.

For our centre interview, Eva “Hunky Dory Man Cave” Griffin interviews Louise O’Neill, author of Asking For It. On your second right after that we have Music where Wyvern Lingo and Half Moon Run are interviewed along with our album reviews and our ever present Radar, where we look at the best of unsigned and emerging bands. If you enjoy this section feel free to thank Aisling “So So Exciting” Kraus for her work.

Nearing the end of our journey we reach the Fashion section. Lucy “Fancy Hats” Coffey displays the first grunge shoot of the year alongside an analysis of the London Fashion Week. And just beyond that you will find Street Style.

Finally we reach our Arts & Literature section. Maebh “Free Books” Butler interviews this issue’s emerging writing Danny Denton. Interviews with Thomas Morris and Arthur Riordan also feature, as well as an interview with actor Lorna Quinn.

So that’s all we got for this issue folks. We hope you enjoyed it (please say you did, if you don’t they’ll send us back to the Gulag).

Lots of OTwo love, Karlton and Griffdawg

what’s hot & What’s not

Soapbox SLOW GROUPS OF WALKERS

Hot

Not Hot

360-degree Videos

Being likened to a hobbit

Forget everything you know, there is officially nothing as impressive and captivating as a 360-degree, interactive YouTube video. Nothing. Be it Foals’ newest music video or a video blog from YouTube veterans Louis Cole and Casey Neistat, this innovation is bound to blow your mind. Take a spin and experience videos like never before.

Father John Misty canoodling with himself

There are a wide range of comparisons and similarities made about writers; be it in regards their writing technique, personality or allegorical versatility. As such, reviews of their work present a number of obstacles.

Yet, the opening lines of said reviews don’t usually compare the author to one of J.R.R. Tolkien’s hairy-footed hobbits. The Irish Examiner did just that with writer Thomas Morris last weekend. Skip to our Arts & Literature section to see if we made the same mistake.

When you’re walking slowly as part of a group, know that Gráinne Loughran is skulking behind you about to throw you into the middle of the road

Irish chat shows

Saddling coquettishly up to himself at the bar, pouring himself some shots, followed by an evening of dancing, smoking, singing in the tub and a saucy smooch; heck, who wouldn’t blame Josh Tillman for fancying himself?

The accompanying video to FJM’s newest single, ‘The Night Josh Tillman Came To Our Apartment’ is a languid, surreal peep into the uncomfortable, unmistakably self-obsessed mind of this bearded aficionado.

“And, tell me this; what weight was your baby when it was born?” Is this what we must now tolerate as we melt into our couches on Friday/ Saturday nights? A cohort of amateur hosts nattering at their guests about their newborn baby? Everyone knows nobody cares about anyone else’s baby except the people involved in creating said baby. We had hope for Ray D’arcy on his new chat show, but then he dropped the baby bombshell question and all high hope expectation was lost.

Whelan’s Midnight Hour

Sam Smith’s dribble of a Bond theme tune

In the midnight hour, upstairs in Whelans, therein awaits a very special occasion indeed. With your tins securely gulped and your dancing feet itchin’ for a shakin’, by the time the clock strikes twelve on these rare but not to be missed events, the anticipation is dually high. Squarehead readied the stage last month, and on October 9th self proclaimed “Mayo jangle pups” Me & My Dog, accompanied by Galway ragamuffins Mollusk and We Are Ruffians, will take their turn to keep the good vibes rolling. Forget your curfew and join the mob for a night of musically controlled hooliganism.

There’s whimpering, and then there’s Sam Smith whimpering. From Shirley Bassey to Gladys Knight, the 007 theme tune has always been a booming, bone-shaking arena of vocal talent. Past occupants of this podium created songs with a life of its own, painting the scene before the opening credits have even begun to role. Bond is a suave, calculated smooth operator, while Smith’s accompanying tune resembles nothing more than a pathetic X-Factor throwaway single.

Mystic Mittens Aries

Libra

This week you will attempt to recreate the perfect Kylie Jenner look. Best to warn you now that lip enhancers and arse implants are non-refundable.

You decide to take up smoking only to realise you haven’t perfected the loitering stance that goes with it.

You promptly quit.

Taurus

Scorpio

During Freshers’ Week you disclosed a little bit too much information with your advice in the ‘Dear First Year Me’ campaign. You may consider a deferral while everyone attempts to un-see the image of you in the nip.

You’ll continue to laugh at the statue of the naked fella outside Law until one day his dignity is covered up.

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone, truly.

Gemini

This is the week you realise you’re officially old and stale by proclaiming defiantly in the student bar that the music is “just too damn LOUD!”. Don’t trip on the way out, grandpa.

While cycling to college this week an overwhelming sense of doubt will overcome you as you peddle up the N11. I’d pull up my jeans if I were you.

Cancer It’s week five and you’re feeling alive! Only messin’, the most you’ll do this week is skull three cans and a chicken roll-pizza hybrid in a three minute frenzy.

Indigestion is cool now, no?

Leo If you feel like people are ignoring you more than usual this fortnight it might be wise to take that shower you’ve been thinking about for a while. Towels are on the bottom shelf.

Virgo Dismissing the circulating rumours, you venture unannounced into the vet building only to discover said rumours are true; who knew a pig could run so fast on tiled flooring?

Sagittarius

Capricorn Overindulging during Freshers’ Week led to you growing what you thought was one giant ab. It’s not.

Get to the gym, tubby.

Aquarius This is the week you’re gonna show L&H what it’s all about. You’re going to do one of their debates and show ‘em who’s boss. Pity you’ll go via the wine bottle and end up spewing profanities and vomit at the auditor.

WAIT, has there been an accident up ahead? Are roadblocks in place, will diversions be necessary? Has there been an earthquake or volcano eruption preventing anyone from moving at anything other than a glacial pace? Nope, it’s just a gaggle of slow-moving pedestrians taking up the entire footpath, who appear to have brought time and the entire N11 to a standstill as I jog in to UCD to make it to a 9am lecture. They slowly, carefully place one foot in front of the other as if afraid that if they walk any faster they might accidentally trip into a manhole. It is more likely that I, walking sullenly behind them, would actually push them off the flyover just so that they’ll be out of my way. They’re not in a hurry; they actually just seem to be walking in an attempt to show everybody on the Stillorgan dual carriageway just how many friends they personally have to walk with, flaunting their fun times, walking together and laughing too loudly.

Note: if you are walking as part of a group of people, this does not mean that you have a God-given right to take up the entire footpath. Just because you have friends to walk with doesn’t give you an excuse to ignore me on my lonesome as I weave desperately between you and the cycle path to try to pass you all out, hoping not to be killed by a mad cyclist just so that I can make it to class on time. I should not be discriminated against for being alone, and I bet all your friends are really boring anyway. And I swear I’m not in any way bitter or lonely, because I too have many friends; I’m just not annoying enough to walk with all seventy of them on a footpath at the one time.

Their walking formation closely resembles a defensive line in a rugby match. They walk with small gaps between each person, not large enough to sneak a try (or a person with a heavy schoolbag) through. As I walk behind this group of idiots, who are often talking about paint drying or something equally interesting, I often cannot decide whether my desire is greater to burst through the middle of the group like a bowling ball knocking down ten pins, or simply to pick one off at a time by pushing them into the middle of the road and letting the cars handle them.

If you are one of these people in a group taking over the footpath for their own enjoyment, know that when I walk closely behind you I am not stalking you or trying to eavesdrop on your conversation. I’m just staring vindictively at the back of your infuriating head, considering what would be the most painful method to make you get out of my way so that I can make it to class without being half an hour late. For the sake of my prison record, and your limbs, it would probably be best if you would just stop being an idiot and walk as you would if you were going towards your own death: totally and completely alone.

Pisces The aggressive swan at the lake gives you a dirty look so you say something about its stupid beak. You immediately feel guilty and take the long way around the lake everyday thereafter.

GRÁINNE LOUGHRAN

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SPITBALLIN’ WITH ALISON SPITTLE

Alison spittle is back to muse on the late late toy show, her ageless sister and cute dogs at protests.

PhotoSHOP Skillz: Alison Spittle

In the words of R Kelly: “It’s the I just hope that she doesn’t swear HELLO dear reader, me again. I’m in my freaking weekend baby, I’m about to have on telly, like a fellow Westmeath girl did sitting room and I have chipper chips me some fun”. I spent the past weekend last year, when Ryan asked the little girl reheating in the oven, fingers crossed protesting. There seems to be a different “what’s the dolly doing?” while water they will be decent. protest on every day. Protesting is a great gushed out of its crotch hole. She replied My mam is Facebook messaging way of letting off some steam. You see with what was the only correct response: me about the Late Late Toy Show open cool minor TV celebrities, famous people she giggled and said “pissing, Ryan”. auditions. It’s big news in my house and on Twitter and people you would see on He never said another word to her and she wants to know whether my sister Prime Time all mingling amongst the moved on swiftly. I don’t want that cold Billie is too old to audition. I struggle to students, squatters and remember how old Billie is as she anarchists; it’s like yoke has had an interest in HD brows ''I love dogs with Yes Wednesday all over from a very young age and she’s looked like a small 28 year old Equality badges glued again.

It helps me beat my for years. to their collars fit bit target and keep She wants to be a Facebook that bit smug for a few comedian. I’m proud of her and or Free Safe Legal days. It feels so much secretly think she is funnier than better than getting in T-shirts as cloaks. me. I’ve no idea what a Facebook to a Twitter row, going comedian is, but it seems to be For all we know the overboard and calling a lot of calling out people and the person a shithead staying in relationships with beagle could believe and then deleting every a person that looks like you that life begins at interaction after you but has a ponytail and is very remember that you unreasonable and shouts a lot. conception but he applied for a job a few I remember clinging to her weeks ago. looks so damn cute.'' when she was a new-born on I love the September 11th and thinking the camaraderie, the way world was going to end. you bump in to an old school friend and treatment to be given to my sister.

My sister had a fear of planes flying realise you’re both sound. I love shouting Plus, my sister has had a penchant for over her as a small child. I wonder if she in agreement with the speeches, cooing the C word from a very young age. Slides felt my panic in her early days and kept as the MC introduces the next speaker: that she fell off were C@#*s, Emu’s at the fear. Luckily we lived in Westmeath. If “Ooooh Clare Daly, she gives a good we lived in Swords she wouldn’t be worth petting zoos were C@#*s, and Jake from speech”, booing at the right time, hissing The Tweenies was also a massive C@#*. a shilling.

and shouting in ecstasy. I love dogs with Yes Equality badges glued to their collars or Free Safe Legal T-shirts as cloaks. For all we know the beagle could believe that life begins at conception but he looks so damn cute.

Anyway reader, in case you were wondering, the reheated chips were grand, like the chips you get in a bad carvery.

Feeling Stumped? Ask Trump!

Eva Griffin / The Trumpman

Howiya boss, So me mate Darro has been crashin’ on me couch for a bleedin’ week at this stage. I love him an’ all, I mean no homo like, but sure he’s sound and he lent me the fare for the aul Nitebus d’other mornin’ after a mad one in Coppers. It’s grand like sure he’s me buddy but d’ya know how I can get him off me couch in time for a big hooly on Friday? Got some fit birds on the guestlist and can’t have Darro’s masso arse takin’ up the whole feckin’ couch when I’m tryna pull over a few cans of Devils Bit, y’know the way like.

Cheers man, Seamo Hello ‘Seamo’, Your friend is laughing at us, at our stupidity. He is not your friend, believe me. He’s killing you economically. Your couch is becoming a dumping ground for his problems. He is not the right person. He is not the right person for your couch.

This man is probably from Mexico. He’s probably from all over South and Latin America, and he’s coming probably — probably — from the Middle East. But we don’t know. Because we have no protection and we have no competence, we don’t know what’s happening. And it’s got to stop and it’s got to stop fast.

You know what I say? Build a wall.

Build a wall between your couch and Mexico because he’s probably gay too.

We will fight this gay Mexican from the Middle East of South America. We will make your couch great again.

Your next president, Donald J. Trump,

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Alri Trumpman, Here’s the story. Me scauldy mot’ Jacinta’s after runnin’ off wit me brudder and she took me gear with her like fucksake. Jaysis man she wouldn’t even let me ride her one last time. What a bleedin’ hoor. I just want her to come back so I can get a look at dat arse but mainly I need the aul gear, fuckin’ dyin’ without it man yknow?

I’m just sittin’ here cryin’ into me chicken fillet roll, help me ou’.

Sound, Anto Hello ‘Anto’, You should never let a woman near your personal things. Why give her negotiable assets? I am not sure what gear you are referring to, but your equipment should be kept on lockdown, away from the greedy hands of a gold-digger.

Most women are fat pigs, dogs, slobs and disgusting animals. I mean I only said that about Rosie O’Donnell, I swear, but you understand. Your ‘mot’ sounds like a Rosie. If theft is something she partakes in, maybe she’s a Mexican. But you know, it doesn’t really matter what anyone says as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.

My advice would be to purchase some new, high quality gear and find another woman. I would suggest my daughter Ivanka, but I’m waiting for some test results to come back so she’s on hold for now. Try to forget about Jacinta, she’s probably bleeding out of her wherever anyway.

Fellow woman hater but lover of the booty, Donald J. Trump

Illustration by Dearbhla Ross

Away with the fairies in Cappadocia

Famed for a sky dappled with hot air balloons and unique fairy chimneys, Amanda Cheng visits the must-see Turkish destination of Cappadocia A QUICK Google image search of Cappadocia was all it took to entice me on a trip to Turkey with a friend. After a day spent hauling twenty-kilo backpacks and camera gear, the overnight bus was a welcome respite from the heat and hustle of Istanbul. The surreal landscape and friendly locals in Cappadocia’s town of Göreme more than compensated for everything that Istanbul lacked in hospitality and customer service.

To wide-eyed travellers, Cappadocia is wellknown for hot air balloons that rise with the sun each morning, showing off its fantastical landscape from above. Dotted throughout the valley are clusters of Cappadocia’s famed fairy chimneys. These formations are the result of volcanic activity and erosion, and served as temperate cave homes for centuries. Not one to pass up a unique experience, I booked a fairy chimney room which Byzantine Christians had once used as an emergency tunnel. Eating a traditional Turkish breakfast of various cheeses, olives, tomatoes and boiled eggs, I simply could not take my eyes off the surreal Göreme valley that stretched out before me.

As the area is steeped in history, an essential stop is the Göreme Open-Air Museum, which is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. During the medieval era, Byzantine Christians found refuge in the Cappadocian valleys and carved churches into the fairy chimney caves. The Göreme Open-Air Museum encompasses churches, chapels and monasteries from the 10th to 12th centuries.

Many of the interiors feature colourful frescoes that depict scenes from the Bible and the life of Jesus. The frescoes mimic the effect of traditional stained glass windows; round domes are carved into the ‘roofs’ of the caves, creating an otherworldly sight where a traditional church is emulated in a cave. For a small entrance fee (around €6), visitors can freely explore the museum at their own pace, all the while enjoying the view back towards

Photography & WORDS: AMANDA CHENG

the valley.

There are endless trails in the Göreme National Park, coupled with countless contradicting reviews on how best to spend an afternoon. Ultimately, the scenery is so breathtaking that it matters little where you go, so long as you explore. The sunset over the lunar moonscapes of Göreme is best viewed at the aptly named Sunset Point. This popular spot provides panoramic views of the science fiction reality that lures tourists from all over the world.

Sunset Point is also an excellent vantage point to watch the hot air balloons take off at sunrise.

However, the experience of a hot air balloon ride in Cappadocia is irreplaceable. Guests are generally picked up from their accommodation between 4am and 5am, and treated to a buffet-style Turkish breakfast before taking off around sunrise. Each morning, giddy tourists are carted off in vans to scattered departure points, and a colourful hot air balloon party commences in the sky.

Depending on the wind speed, hot air balloons can travel up to 5km during the hour-long journey. High above ground, the eerie calm of nervous excitement is only broken by the pilot heating more gas during the balloon’s ascent. Early risers having coffees on their fairy chimney terraces wave and shout out morning greetings from far below. Seeing Göreme and the greater Cappadocian area from the sky is an overwhelming experience. It leaves you pondering how the fairy chimneys have evolved over time. What began as a mere geological phenomenon has served the dwellings faithfully as they remain cool in the fiercely hot summer months and are easy to heat in the winter.

A recurring experience in Turkey was the need for patience. Besides the hot air balloon ride, everything else seemed to operate on a loose (i.e. late) schedule which we soon dubbed “Turkey time”. But good – and in this case, great – things happen to those who wait, and a testi kebap is a dish not to be missed in Cappadocia. A testi kebap is slow-cooked in a sealed clay pot, making its soup perfect for dipping bread into, or as a rice topping. You’ll soon learn to be wary of broken clay disguising as meat, and that it is worth paying a little more at a nicer restaurant. Saving other dishes for cheaper restaurants made little difference in taste, but the quality of the meat and aromas varied between price points.

Cappadocia’s other main attractions are the underground cities of Kayamakli and Derinkuyu.

Kayamakli is the largest, whilst Derinkuyu is the deepest underground city. Derinkuyu’s underground city is about 85 metres deep and features a 55-metre long ventilation shaft that provides fresh air.

Despite this, there is a distinct smell underground, and the small staircases and passageways easily evoke claustrophobia. Due to this, it is extremely cumbersome to navigate on a busy day. Visitors often find themselves trapped in small underground rooms, unable to exit until foot traffic from the opposite direction ceases. Nevertheless, the underground cities are a marvellous example of human ingenuity, complete with wells, chimneys, and even areas allocated for the storage of the dead.

Both underground cities are included on tour routes. Many hotels and information providers promote tours — commonly known as the red, green and blue tours — to visitors. However, most of the destinations on the tours can be easily reached more cheaply with some planning and patience. Many people will ambiguously tell you that “it is difficult” to get to certain places, but Cappadocia is a place where, if you ask, you shall receive. And so it was: I saved at least €30 by not joining a tour, picked up a free ice-cream from the cheeky ice-cream vendor that played double-coning tricks on customers outside the Göreme Open-Air Museum, and also got a discount for my return bus to Istanbul.

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Food and drink

BBQ – not just for Texas With BBQ popularity continuously increasing, Mina Dawood and Niamh O’Regan look at the options for BBQ fans in Dublin

EVER WANTED TO TRY crocodile or kangaroo meat?

Do you regularly dream about eating so much food you can’t move afterwards? Are you a connoisseur of burgers? If so, there is one place you have to visit.

Aussie BBQ is a fantastic little gem tucked away on South Richmond Street in the heart of Dublin Inner City.

Their food is simply amazing. Cleanliness standards are second to none and the staff are friendly and helpful.

Whether it is for lunch or dinner, this is a perfect location for a small group of friends to eat or even to bring a date to. The place isn’t large, so be patient when waiting to be seated; it’s definitely worth it. They have booths that can hold up to six people and high raised tables that are better suited for two.

The décor is dark and clearly mirrors the surfing and rugby lifestyle of Australia. There are various surfboards and jerseys hanging around the place and images of fish under the sea. This all adds to the ‘Aussie’ feel. When you enter it is almost as if you are transported to a bar just outside Brisbane after catching some mean waves.

The menu has a great selection and a variety of meat.

It’s daunting looking at the menu at such dishes like the crocodile or kangaroo steak, but they have plenty on their menu that are easy to like. This includes their new burger called the ‘Warpig’ which consists of 1/2 prime beef burger, pulled pork, bacon, pork sausage, cheese, caramelised onions, lettuce and their very special ‘baconnasie’ sauce. The burger is as delightful to eat as it is to look at. Some sides include hand cut sweet potato wedges (which are good enough by themselves) and their ‘Bonzer’ BBQ wings, which are a must order for any fan of chicken wings. Many who visit the restaurant would definitely recommend trying one of their Aussie shakes to accompany the meal.

A great asset to Aussie BBQ is their bar. You can even eat sitting up at the bar if you feel the need to be that close to alcohol. Their beer menu certainly catches the eye, with banana, mango or coconut beers - all unusual but readily available options.

In terms of prices, Aussie BBQ isn’t cheap but if you choose wisely and ask for tap water, your main meal and side should come in nicely under €15. A burger ranges on average prices, while the fish, kangaroo or crocodile options you will set you back a bit more. Sides are by no means expensive for the quality and their lunch deal is priced at €10, for which you get a burger or wrap, side and drink.

Aussie BBQ is not the only barbecue venture around however. While the country is rippling with Texan barbecue joints, there is something slightly different on offer on Anglesea Street in the form of The Mongolian Barbeque. Sitting unassumingly on a corner in Temple Bar, the red brick exterior gives no hint of what wonders are inside. The set up here is quite different to that of Aussie BBQ. The interior is bright and the ordering process is a little different.

Legend has it that Mongolian hordes under Genghis Khan would break at night from their conquering, upturn their shields over campfires and cook their food with wooden sticks; the same cooking process is employed by the Mongolian Barbeque.

Operated in a buffet style, there are three steps to your food: first you choose all your bits and pieces – meat, vegetables, fish, tofu whatever you’re feeling, then you add your spices, seasoning and sauce. You hand it to the grillers and they cook it over a giant hot grill, with long wooden batons. When it’s ready, they hand you back your deliciously cooked food for your pleasure. You have a choice of paying for one trip to the buffet or opting for the all you can eat option for around

6

''Legend has it that Mongolian hordes under Genghis Khan would break at night from their conquering, upturn their shields over campfires and cook their food with wooden sticks; the same cooking process is employed by the Mongolian Barbeque.'' double the price, all with steamed rice included. There are also non-buffet items on the menu: side dishes for relatively cheap or three for a bargain price. Sides range from bread baskets to spicy wedges and chicken wings.

There is also a small desert menu where all items are €5.

There is a welcoming atmosphere to the restaurant.

The staff are friendly and more than happy to explain how the system works for those who have never been before. You are taking your taste buds into your own hands however, as it is you who determines how much sauce and spice to decorate your food with. If you find it too hot to handle, it is of your own doing. They do recognise that this may happen, and recommend having a beer from their selection to calm the chilli on your tongue. Beer is bottled and can be bought individually (for an above average price) or in buckets of three, five, and ten for another bargain price, which is ideal if there’s a group. They also have a good wine selection and serve the standard minerals, teas and coffees.

While you might make a mistake at first with spice quantities, you learn for your next trip to the buffet. One of the big bonuses of this style of eating is that because you construct your own meal, there’s no need to gingerly pick out the bits of mushroom or pepper you don’t like.

The two restaurants are completely different in terms of menu, but on par with each other with the quality of food produced.

Aussie BBQ is open 12pm - 11pm Sunday to Wednesday and 12pm - 5am Thursday to Saturday. http://www. aussiebbq.ie/ The Mongolian Barbeque is open 11.30am-9.30pm Monday to Thursday, 11.30am- 10.30pm Friday and Saturday, and 12pm-9.30pm on Sunday. http://www. mongolianbbq.ie/

These Photographs are courtesy of the Mongolian Barbeque in Dublin

We Need to Talk About Brunch BRUNCH is fantastic. A fabled brunch item under whose spell many have fallen is a Big Tasty from Dunkin’ Donuts. It is a magnificent sandwich of epic proportions; toast, eggs, bacon. It has been known to pop into people’s heads at unexpected times, drawing them out of conversations, causing them to miss punchlines and exam hints dropped by lecturers. It will randomly appear in dreams.

And that’s the true magic of brunch, it’s casual dining with (usually) an unhealthy amount of grease, presented to the wilting and hungover multitudes in desperate need of sustenance.

But admittedly it’s not a perfect institution.

With a sudden brunch boom exploding across Dublin, it is a worry that its corruption is a mere Spanish egg away.

The introduction of timed brunches is particularly troubling. The very essence of brunch is luxuriating for far too much time, ordering countless coffees (or cocktails) and perhaps even springing for dessert. Oh, the decadence. If one had a mere hour and ten minutes to do all this, they would end up extremely bloated. Particularly for anyone who’s worked in hospitality, you don’t want to be that guy that holds up the table, so you stringently succumb to their rules, barely tasting your food while you shovel it in, all the while attempting to maintain normal conversation. It’s understandable because it’s a particularly popular place and they’re trying to manage waiting lists, but it’s not for the brunch lovers.

The fact that brunch has become so popular creates another issue. Much like communist Russia, there is a distinct lack of motivation in

Photo: SCREENSHOT FROM YOUTUBE

A meal loathed by some and loved by others, Susan Barry looks at the recent growth in the brunch industry, and whether it’s all it’s cracked up to be

''While places are still serving great dishes with lovely Irish produce, you'd be hard pressed to find somewhere that strays away from the same five brunch staples.''

Cooks Corner: Baked Chilli Potatoes

Freya Williams takes a classic oven supper and adapts it for a student kitchen and budget Serves 4 Ingredients: 1 tbsp. olive oil 1 onion, chopped 1 garlic clove, crushed 300g turkey mince (turkey is the cheapest mince, however any mince will do) Spices: 1 tbsp. smoked paprika and 1 tbsp. ground cumin 1 tbsp. cider vinegar 1 tbsp. soft light brown sugar Grated cheese of your choice 4 medium potatoes Scallions (optional)

1. Wash the potatoes and prick with a sharp knife several times on each side. Dry well with kitchen paper and place on a microwave-safe plate.

2. Place in the microwave and cook on full power for four minutes.

3. Remove the plate using oven gloves and turn the potato over. Dry the potato and the plate and put back into the microwave. Heat on full power again for four minutes.

4. Take the plate out and leave the potato to stand for a minute as it will continue to cook.

Check that the potato is soft by pushing a knife into the centre. If any part is still hard, put it back into the microwave for 30 seconds.

5. To make the chilli, heat some oil in a large frying pan over a medium heat. Add onion, garlic and some seasoning and cook for 5 minutes until soft.

6. Add the turkey mince and season again, then increase the heat and break up the mince with your spatula or the back of a spoon. When cooked through, add the spices, vinegar and sugar. Reduce to a simmer and cook for 10 more minutes.

7. Cut a cross in the top of the potato and fill it with a much chilli as you like. To make it even more delicious, sprinkle grated cheese over the chilli or chopped up scallions. Sit back and enjoy!

many establishments. While places are still serving great dishes with lovely Irish produce, you’d be hard pressed to find somewhere that strays away from the same five brunch staples. While everyone loves a good fry and French toast or superfood salad, it would be nice to see a bit more innovation across the board. It might sound like a contradictory example, but what about porridge? It’s versatile, comforting, cheap to produce, and if they’ve added cinnamon, it’s something many would eagerly swap their prized possessions for. But it’s surprisingly difficult to track down. This is a formal submission for more places to sell porridge. And no, it cannot be settled with granola. How dare you.

Students, the perpetually poor, frequently brunch

within the comforts of their own homes, which still counts. Ever since Jamie Oliver revealed that if you cut the sausages in half they cook at the same speed as the rashers, nothing has been the same. Similarly, when someone discovered the marvellous extra in the Ulster fry, the addition of potato bread, many have become a proponent of Doing It Yourself. As Homer Simpson said: “What’s the point of going out? We’re just gonna wind up back here anyway.”

On Fridays many a stomach grumbles and stretches, preparing for the great brunch onslaught of the weekend ahead. Spiced porridge and French toast or prosciutto wrapped asparagus (yes that is a thing), no matter your tastes, just make it the stuff of daydreams.

The Underrated: Jappas – the solution for the indecisive and adventurous eater?

Great things in life can pass us by. Chloe Browne makes sure that Jappas isn’t one of them WE’VE ALL been there – out for dinner when either you opt to try some wacky new dish out of curiosity and hate it, left with a plate full of disappointment, or your companion orders something nicer and you’re left defeated with an ill-chosen meal.

Thankfully with a place like Izakaya on South George’s Street these struggles are a thing of the past. Under a menu heading of “Jappas”, the

restaurant boasts a huge selection of mini dishes, ideal for sharing. It’s perfect for pushing the boat out and getting a chance to sample the best authentic Japanese food on offer, without the restrictions of a single meal.

The food is delicious, the restaurant space is quirky and the atmosphere is among the best in Dublin. It’s definitely one for the food-lovers bucket list.

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Games

Super Mario Maker SUPER MARIO MAKER is a game that feels like it shouldn’t exist, and it is very likely that a game of this nature would not have even been conceived a couple of years ago. Nintendo, a company that is normally quite conservative when it comes to dealing with its signature properties, has given players the keys to the Mario mobile so to speak, enabling the fans to at long last fulfil their deepest and darkest desires.

Super Mario Maker is a level creation game.

While LittleBigPlanet seems like an obvious comparison in this regard, the differences between the two are remarkable. While it doesn’t attain the lofty, almost dizzying scope of its Playstation counterpart, Mario Maker is a much more flexible and streamlined affair that doesn’t bewilder the player nor make them sit through a plethora of tutorials to understand the mechanics. It’s a game about the joy of discovery. It’s through the player’s own curiosity that they find out the properties of each object and how to apply them. It’s altogether possible to create and upload a fully functioning level after about an hour of mucking about in the menus. The click and drag method of placing set pieces couldn’t make the process any simpler.

This ease of use does come at a slight loss of creative control however. Although Nintendo has given us the toys, it’s still Nintendo’s toy box and they expect the player to comply with their rules.

Options are limited to the supplied Mario assets, which are quite generous, allowing the use of the

engines for Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario World and New Super Mario Bros, as well as their accompanying physics for creation purposes.

Enemies behave as they should, as do coins and all those classic power ups. Putting wings on a Koopa Troopa turns it into a hovering paratrooper and putting a piranha plant inside a pipe makes for some fiendish traps.

However, you can’t really design anything of your own. There’s no free hand option to make enemies or platforms. Essentially, it’s Nintendo’s way or the high way. Most annoying of all is how the game makes the player wait in order to unlock everything. The game is saddled with the basic enemies, platforms and obstacles when first booted up and proceeds to drip feed the actual bulk of content over the span of a week. It’s not the most gruelling of conditions, given how another game may have charged its extra limbs as DLC, but it does seem a bit pointless.

Thankfully the nine day wait is alleviated by Super Mario Maker’s excellent replay value. While the creation assets have strictly defined Mario related properties, it’s amazing as to what one can do with them with a little imagination. There are some absolutely insane levels, from relentlessly difficult, off the wall weird, or even taking the established Mario mechanics and turning them on their head.

The game’s value plummets without internet access as that’s where the magic happens. Being able to upload levels that one has created to an international sampling platter and downloading and trying levels

that others have made from the far corners of the globe are some of the strongest aspects of the game.

There are some online offerings that make one wish they were playing an actual Mario game and not some fan knockoff, but the vast majority of them excel at demonstrating the avid creativity and skill of the gaming community. Who knows? It may even kick-start your own career in game design.

Super Mario Maker is an unusual experiment that has paid off in spades. With Nintendo handing the reigns over to the fans, perhaps the unbridled spam of Mario sequels will come to an end. At any rate, it’s a refreshing spin on a character who previously had seemed to have every last drop of milk squeezed out of him. You don’t need to be a fan of the plumber to enjoy this one

Title: Super Mario Maker Developer: Nintendo EAD Publisher: Nintendo Release Date: Sept 11 2015

Words: adam donnelly

BLOOD BOWL II Title: Blood Bowl II Developer: Cyanide Studio Publisher: Focus Home Interactive Platforms: Playstation 4, Xbox One, Microsoft Windows

8

FOR THOSE UNFAMILLIAR with Blood Bowl, it was originally a table-top board game created by Games Workshop. Imagine American Football populated with the Warhammer Fantasy races and you have a decent grasp of what to expect. However, picture some spiked footballs, plenty of bloodletting and more permanent injuries.

The game proved popular enough to be made as a video game a few years ago. Blood Bowl is a game which is loosely based on American Football. At its core, it is a turn-based, fantasy sports game. The player takes control of a team of eleven players, composed of linemen, blitzers, throwers, catchers, and one unique larger character. The choice available of teams is as varied as any Warhammer fan could desire; the agile Dark Elves, run of the mill Humans, the brutal Orcs, and the stalwart Dwarves are just a handful of the teams available. Each of the teams have their own strengths and weaknesses. For example the Humans are average in all areas: they aren’t as strong as the Orcs or as agile as the Elves, but they are the easiest team to manage due to neither failing or excelling in any particular area.

Games start, as expected, with a coin toss and a kick off. The turn-based system operates on successes as a team. Each major action, picking up or throwing the ball, and attacking an opposing player for example are either successful or not depending on a dice roll. The game itself is streamlined as most of the dice rolls occur off screen.

For those familiar with other table-top Role-Playing Games (RPGs) the dice statistics shown on the bottom of the screen will be easier to understand but generally an understanding is not required as it tells you simply pass or fail.

The game certainly doesn’t hold any hands, and the learning curve is quite steep. The campaign involves the

player as the new manager for the ‘Reikland Reavers’, a Human team that has fallen from Blood Bowl glory.

The campaign serves as a tutorial, feeding the player basic aspects of a game at a time. However, if you feel comfortable with your play during the campaign and move to a quick game outside, a shock will greet you.

It takes some time for key gameplay elements to be incorporated into play. However after getting to grips with these elements, a smart player will begin to have a lot of fun.

Some elements included are ‘team re-rolls’ which are a set number of retries at die rolls per game. These are per team so you only have access to maybe three or four per game. Cheerleaders can be bought to keep the crowd happy, who are constantly looking for blood and may raid the pitch if no action occurs. There are other elements that can be unlocked such as apothecaries to keep injured players alive and dead players to a minimum. All add to the game in interesting ways, ensuring that the game is not just fun on the field but during management.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of Blood Bowl is the quality of animation. With so many fantastical creatures, such as ogres, hulking minotaurs, and lizard people, the animations are truly important. And as such a brutal game, the player can really feel the impact as your blitzer uppercuts that smug elf in his face. Each race has unique animations and they lend themselves to the spectacle that is Blood Bowl.

Blood Bowl is an enjoyable game, although it takes some time to get into. It is a must buy for any Warhammer Fantasy fan, and certainly for those who enjoy sinking their teeth into a tough strategy game.

Words: KARL QUIGLEY

Button Pushers: The Games That Scorned Society

By Adam Donnelly FREEDOM OF SPEECH is a peculiar thing. The ability to speak freely at any time is a fundamental building block of social development, but there are times when it really is just better to smile, be polite and say nothing at all. As a medium for the expression of thought, video games adhere to the same standard that we all must, but of course there are a handful that slip through the net every now and again. OTwo casts a spotlight on those games that have become famous, or rather infamous, for gleefully stepping beyond the pale of good taste and being flat out offensive. Some are products of their time, while others are just inexcusably nasty.

Death Race (1976) The grandfather of all controversial games, Death Race was one of the very first to receive public outcry for concerns regarding its content. The game is so very primitive and bare bones by today’s standards that it’s nigh impossible to see what all the fuss was about, but back in those dinosaur days of disco fever, it was a different story. Players control a stick car and must use it in order to mow down stick men, who release a pixelated shriek before turning into a tombstone. It’s one of the earliest examples of violence against others being portrayed in a game and nearly 40 years later, it remains a beacon of bad attitude that even the edgiest of edges aspire to be.

Custer’s Revenge (1982) Though it may be practically a fossil by 2015 standards, Custer’s Revenge cringe factor has lost none of its bite. The game sees the player controlling a nude cowboy sporting a visible erection. The novelty of a pixelated wiener rapidly wears off when the player realises their objective is to avoid arrows and make it to the other side of the screen so that they may have sex with a Native American woman tied to a pole. This is a game about sexual assault and though it’s muddied in the game’s retro simplicity and historical context, making such an act the main objective for the protagonist is nothing but horrendous.

Punch Out (1984) Punch Out may be one of the most

unintentionally politically incorrect series out there.

These arcade boxing classics task the player with beating boxers from all over the world, with each opponent bearing all manner of stereotypes from the respective series. Some, like Pizza Pasta from Italy, can be enjoyed as a silly bit of rib jabbing but then there are others. Specifically, the original Punch Out from 1984 stirred up trouble for featuring a Russian character named Vodka Drunkenski. The character’s name was changed to the more family friendly Soda Popinski in future instalments, but his drinking problem remained intact. Only now he is getting inebriated on fizzy orange as opposed to an Irish coffee. Or twelve.

Mortal Kombat (1992) Before Mortal Kombat, age appropriate ratings were ambiguous at best. Games up until then had no qualms about putting in violent or suggestive content because amidst the scrambling of blurred pixels, beep, boops, and sound effects, who really knew what was going on? Then Mortal Kombat came about and was so blatant and sure footed in its depiction of murderous carnage, that the ESRB was born and every game since has been regulated to ensure it’s been marketed at the right age demographic. If that’s not one heck of a legacy then nothing is.

Postal 2 (2003) Postal 2 was buried beneath heaps of criticism upon its launch for its graphic depiction of violence and other taboos. A scene in which the player urinates upon a dismembered corpse remains infamous to this day. In the game’s defence, violence is an option in Postal 2 and it’s very possible to complete the game without undertaking any unpleasantries, but as is the case with these types of games, to do so is to miss the point. There’s no denying that relishing in fits of homicidal rage is one of Postal 2’s main features. The tools which the game gives the player to maximise the bloodletting still raises eyebrows years after its release.

Man Hunt 2 (2007) Anything by Rockstar Games, the father of Grand Theft Auto (GTA), seems destined to draw the ire of parent groups and conservatives at some point

during its development, but Man Hunt 2 was a special case. The violence depicted in Man Hunt 2 was so brutal and intense that the game received the elusive “Adults Only” rating, effectively banning it from sale in North America. The game was eventually edited and released with an “M” rating but to this day it remains one of the rare games to be considered illegal contraband in Ireland, not that anybody’s going to check nowadays.

Hatred (2015) Hatred is a top down shooter game that, while a decent romp, sports a premise that vastly overshadows the actual game itself. Hatred puts the player in control of a suicidal sociopath. His mission? To kill as many people as he can until the authorities take him out. Unlike other examples such as GTA, or the ‘No Russian’ mission from Modern Warfare 2, where the slaughtering of innocent civilians is an option to the player but never mandatory, Hatred makes mass murder its singular focus. In a western society that is continually shaken by attacks on schools and universities, as well as other general random acts of violence, it’s easy to see the damaging impressions this game may have had. Ultimately, it’s another top down shooter game that proved to be more bark than bite.

Kill The F****t (2015) While the games mentioned previously have provoked controversy in one way another, none, with the possible exception of Custer’s Revenge, have existed merely to inflame and outrage. This is a game so pointlessly offensive, that simply describing its premise is difficult. It’s an arcade shooter on a budget of some twigs and mud, but that didn’t stop it from making ripples with its homophobic gameplay that awards points for shooting avatars that flaunt all the stereotypically camp attributes of a homosexual man as they skip across the range. The game’s developer even deceived Irish folk metal band Cruachan into providing music for it, blotting their reputation. Kill The F****t has since been pulled from distribution, yet the developer has yet to exhibit any remorse for creating it.

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Film and Television

“You Think I’m Funny?” Goodfellas in Retrospect

On the twenty-fifth anniversary of one of the world’s most iconic gangster movies Andrew Carroll asks why Goodfellas has never been bettered

‘‘AS FAR BACK as I can remember I always wanted different cloth. A bolt of pure Italian silk to be to be a gangster.” Ray Liotta’s first line as real life exact. Jimmy the Gent throws real money around a gangster Henry Hill set the tone not only for the casino. Henry’s wife, Karen, wears real gold jewellery two and a half hours of Goodfellas, but for the throughout. So it makes sense that the background gangsters would be played by real gangsters. In the next twenty-five years to come. More real than same GQ interview Debi Mazar, who played Sandy, The Godfather, more brutal than Mean Streets and said: “The short answer is yes, a lot of the extras funnier than Bugsy Malone, Goodfellas combined were gangsters.” The authenticity was there in the the harsh realities of mob life with sympathy for Mr cast and props but it was Scorsese who brought this Joe Average trying to make a living by any means. reality to life.

Based off the non-fiction book Wiseguy by Nicholas The famous swooping, lighter than air Steadicam Pileggi, directed by Martin Scorsese, and written by shot of the Copacabana restaurant was done in only both, Goodfellas charts the rise and fall of Lucchese eight takes. Henry walks through the restaurant mob family associate Henry Hill. Set between 1955 snapping orders, trading and 1980, jokes and shaking hands Scorsese '' The short answer is yes, until a table almost takes us a lot of the extras were materialises in front through of him and Karen. The the lives gangsters.'' entire sequence has a of Hill quick flow to it that evokes the quick-talking, slick and his friends Jimmy the Gent and Tommy DeVito image of an Italian-American gangster. All of this (Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, respectively). It is makes Henry’s life and place in this world seem so through these friendships and the wider experience tangible and concrete that the audience can’t help of the Mafia that Goodfellas defines itself as more but believe this actually happened. Ray Liotta is key than a gangster film. Goodfellas is a family film, but here. His performance is the essence of what makes not a family film.

The mob is one big family where Henry Goodfellas a family film. graduates from being just another Irish-ItalianHenry finds himself accepted into a family that American boy to one of Paul ‘Paulie’ Cicero’s most treats his teenage delinquency as a virtue, not a vice. trusted lieutenants. It is here that he learns one Within the Mafia, vice is a virtue. Within this new of life’s most important lessons: “Never rat on family he finds financial security that allows him to your friends, and always keep your mouth shut” – provide for himself and his loved ones. This naïve especially important when working with some of hope is what makes Henry sympathetic and not the most violent characters ever to grace the silver just a brute with a greedy disposition. Henry is the screen. Goodfellas defines what it is to belong to a black heart at Goodfellas’ centre, but at least there is a heart. As Henry loses friends and eventually crime family as well as how far one will go for that his cherished lifestyle, he becomes a pitiful figure. family. Robbery? Like taking a walk. Assault? Like Henry Hill is difficult to hate because he just wanted having evening drinks. Murder? Piece of cake. The a secure place in the world; in the end, isn’t that what film opens just after the murder of Billy Batts, a we all want? made man who is killed because Tommy didn’t like being reminded of his days as a shoeshine boy. In a Goodfellas drew the gangster film to its inevitable 2010 GQ interview Frank Vincent, who played Batts, conclusion. A twisted fable on the American Dream and human nature, it has never been bettered and said “Wherever I go, anytime I go anywhere, they will likely never be equalled. It remains a masterful tell me to go home and get my shine box.” It is that odyssey. Or maybe it’s just a “mob home movie”, as scene like so many others that exemplifies both the Scorsese himself once put it. brutality and scenery-chewing that Goodfellas is most famous for.

Before any line of dialogue is said or the audience is told what’s happening, Henry, Tommy and Jimmy pull over, open the trunk and stab and shoot an already half-dead Billy. The scene is full of sadistic anger and the kind of mercilessness associated with hyenas. This is not the last or even the most shocking of Goodfellas’ numerous scenes of gory violence. Men are hung from meat hooks, a teenager is shot dead for back-talking and Henry brutally pistol-whips a man for looking at his wife the wrong way. Of course these scenes were just words on paper before Scorsese cast Liotta, De Niro and Pesci. Of the three Joe Pesci is perhaps most famous as his unhinged and incendiary performance won him the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 1991. “How am I funny?” he asks Ray Liotta in the film’s second most famous scene (after the Copacabana tracking shot). “Do I make you laugh? Am I a clown to you? Do I amuse you?” he continues, growing more incensed as dread overcomes Henry and their shared associates.

Goodfellas’ authenticity is what gives the film its credence and weight after all these years.

Goodfellas imparts a realism that only a few films ever truly achieve. The likes of Training Day shows real life gangsters as extras. So too does Goodfellas, but these gangsters are cut from a

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The Man of Many Voices: Mario Rosenstock Mario Rosenstock sits down with David Monaghan to discuss his work in TV and radio as a comedian and impressionist

IN PHOTO: Mario Rosenstock

MARIO ROSENSTOCK is known to many as the voice (or voices) of the satirical breakfast show Gift Grub, in which he lampoons various political and sports figures throughout Ireland. On television, he is known for The Mario Rosenstock Show, a sketch show featuring his repertoire of characters in unusual situations; like Joan Burton riding a wrecking ball, or Donal Skehan breaking his nice guy act to beat up some local scumbags. Taking a well-deserved break from satirising the country’s elite, Rosenstock speaks about working in television and radio, his friendship with Ian Dempsey, and the pressure he feels when creating content.

Spawning numerous albums and singles since its inception in 1999, Gift Grub is the first port of call for many people when seeking Irish political satire. However, its success came as a surprise to Rosenstock. “When I started, everything I did was depending on the radio station I was working in being successful,” he says. “[It was] called Radio Ireland, and it just didn’t know what it was at the beginning. It was known in the papers, mockingly, as Radio 0%, and Radio Direland.” Radio Ireland eventually changed its name to Today FM. After recruiting Ian Dempsey to host the morning show, it began to grow in popularity. “It started to really, really appeal to people. I started working with Ian on the breakfast show [and] it was in tandem with this Bertie Ahern thing that was happening. I was the only one in Ireland doing sketches about him every day and that kind of caught the imagination.”

Rosenstock has collaborated with Ian Dempsey ever since. “We have a very special relationship.

Some people describe it as a husband and wife; I don’t know who’s the man and who’s the woman.

No one knows his audience better than Ian [and] he’s also a really great judge of an audience in relation to me. He’d look at stuff I do and go, ‘what would people love to see Mario doing?’ And he’d know better than I would. He often points me in the right direction.”

Having worked almost exclusively in radio over the years, The Mario Rosenstock Show was a slight departure for the performer. “In radio you can go, ‘Imagine if Joan Burton suddenly became Alexander the Great back in 20 BC, and there’s an army of 50,000 people with elephants.’ You could do that on the radio that day, and peoples’ minds will see [it].”

Rosenstock, who often plays multiple characters at once on radio, simply cannot mimic this approach on television. “Radio is good for getting the ideas out there tomorrow. Television takes weeks.”

Mario Rosenstock’s sketches often veer into the absurd. Since breaking out onto the scene, we have borne witness to Alan Shatter as a 1970s TV cop, Gerry Adams as a starship captain, and Bertie Ahern as a culinary chef. This surreal approach will draw comparisons to the style of British comedy troupe Monty Python. “I was exposed to the absurdity of Monty Python. I would have been very impressed with Life of Brian, The Holy Grail, [that was] the stuff I really enjoyed.” Rosenstock also speaks of his love for American sketch show Saturday Night Live. “I love idea that you do sketches which are topical each week in front of a live audience. I love that up-to-date topical comedy.”

SNL features sketches written over the course of a week, to be performed live in front of a studio audience on the Saturday. As a result, actors can sometimes break character, forget lines, and crack up. Rosenstock is no stranger to this type of pressure.

“Yes, [but] there’s pressure and there’s stress,” he explains. “Pressure is really good. [It’s] bringing the best out of yourself, rising to the occasion. I [feel] a lot of pressure doing things that I have, but I now realise that feeling is a good feeling. Stress is not a good feeling. Stress is when something is preventing you from working. You’re sick, you’re run down, you can’t think straight - that’s stress. Pressure is when you’re a bit worried, but feel of creative intent and energy.”

In 2005, Mario Rosenstock surprised many by topping the Irish Christmas charts with a parody of

IN PHOTO: Francis Brennan Will Young’s ‘Leave Right Now.’ “I’ve always loved music. I can actually hold a note really well when I’m in character - not so much as myself! I think music is a beautiful, glorious thing. You can also write stuff in music that is like poetry - rhymes and stuff - and put them into characters mouths, like politicians, or people like Paul O’Connell, and it makes them funny for a minute.” Indeed, seeing Joan Burton perform Wrecking Ball à la Miley Cyrus is not a sight many people can take seriously.

Three years ago, Rosenstock created minor controversy when the Catholic Communications Office took offence to a sketch depicting a character spitting into a bucket before receiving Holy Communion. Has the writer-performer stirred any other note-worthy controversies? “I’m careful to observe the law of defamation,” he says. “I’m also careful to observe a natural law, which is [not to] go off on somebody in a poisonous, malicious way. Satire has to be funny first.

Otherwise you’re just a taxi driver giving out: ‘Them fuckin’ government, that fuckin’ bunch o’ clowns!’ So my thing would be, I don’t want to say that unless I can make it funny.”

Rosenstock’s comments bring to mind the recent developments surrounding the Denis O’Brien/ Waterford Whispers News conflict; the media mogul threatened to sue the satirical news source over its depiction of him. “Waterford Whispers News published something, he threatened to sue them, which he’s entitled to do as a person,” says Rosenstock, whose radio station is owned by O’Brien.

“Should he be allowed to do that? Well, he is. It’s the

law. Is it right for him to do that? Maybe not, but he recorded sketches, music, and hopefully live guests.

There’s a lot going on; possibly an election – it’ll be can. Say you live in a house, and I want to build a gigantic railway and a shopping centre right next to pre-election time anyway – the 1916 anniversary, your house. You can object, but if I win the objection, and also lots of rugby and soccer things coming to I can build my railway and shopping centre near your a climax. So, it’s going to be a very, very interesting house. It’s legal. It’s not nice, but it’s legal. So, we have time.”

While Ireland is undergoing many social and to deal with those parameters as well.”

After a succession of albums, live performances, political changes, it is comforting to know that one and a television show, what can Mario Rosenstock do thing will remain consistent; Mario Rosenstock will be next to surprise us? “[I have a] new TV show coming there to point the finger and laugh. Just don’t ask him to sing out of character. in November and December. It’s Saturday Night Live-based idea, so some studio based sketches, pre-

''Satire has to be funny first.

Otherwise you're just a taxi driver giving out [...] So my thing would be, I don't want to say that unless I can make it funny.''

11

Film Reviews

THE PROGRAM

Director: stephen frears Starring: Ben foster and chris o’dowd release date: 14th of October in ireland

THOUGH THE OPENING would have you deceived, this is not a sports film. Directed by Stephen Frears ( Philomena) and based primarily (but loosely) on the investigation by David Walsh, the film opens to Ben Foster narrating over beautiful scenic shots of a cyclist on the Alps. The shots are backed by heroic music scores, and Foster speaks of his love, his passion, and his determination for the sport that he dedicates his life to. Despite how standard of an opening this is for the genre, Frears pays closer attention to the backstage politics of the Tour de France rather than the Tour de France itself.

The Program presents itself as both a biography of Lance Armstrong and an investigative thriller in the same vein as All the President’s Men (Dustin Hoffman even stars in the film, albeit briefly). It gives the film a dynamic and smooth pacing that glosses over the tropes that plague

so many films of the sports genre. Instead it allows the conflict to stem from David Walsh’s determination to prove Armstrong’s use of steroids and Armstrong continuing to pass countless drug tests while maintaining a positive public image.

However, it should be reiterated that this film is loosely based on reports and investigations. No more apparent is this than in the depiction of Michele Ferrari (Guillaume Canet) whose monologue on steroids being “a gift from the heavens” sounds closer to that of a Bond villain than it does of anyone in reality. Nor does the meta-referencing of a possible Lance Armstrong film produce any humour. The idea of Matt Damon playing Lance, apparently funny to the film-makers, feels groan-worthy more than anything else.

This film should be treated as a drama rather than a biography. Armstrong is presented as a fallen hero, whose

passion and determination forced him into illegal drug use and he becomes a sympathetic villain. Likewise, Walsh is the lone hero who is determined to discover the truth despite all the odds. In real life, Walsh became suspicious of Armstrong after appearing to threaten Christophe Bassons during one of the Tour’s stages. In the film, Walsh knows immediately upon Armstrong’s victory that Armstrong used drugs to win.

Historical inaccuracy is fine if the purpose is to explore a certain theme, which Frears does, but so many are put on the screen without being fleshed out or expanded upon. At one point, Armstrong says: “I just tell them what they want to hear”, but the idea is never explored beyond that point.

Likewise, ideas of passion, determination, and how far one is willing to go to accomplish their ambitions are simply not fleshed out. Despite its easiness to watch, the experience falls flat and is unimpressionable.

But then there’s Ben Foster, who is finally given the opportunity to show he can lead a film. Foster (who reportedly took steroids for the role) is perfect at balancing charisma, sympathy, intimidation and aggression without letting one mode dominate the other. This is Foster’s film, and if there’s any reason to go see it, it’s for him.

In a Nutshell: Subverting the tropes of the sports film makes this drama nicely paced and easy to watch. However, it is let down by its failure to expand upon specific themes and ideas.

MICHAEL O’SULLIVAN

The Intern BEN WHITAKER (Robert de Niro) is a retired widower who feels lost since losing his wife and job. One day he notices a sign for an intern positon in an e-commerce fashion start-up run by character Jules Ostin (Anne Hathway) and he applies.

There is a strong contrast between Whitaker and his hipster male colleagues; he is a debonair man of routine and he overdelivers in his work, while they are portrayed as less ambitious, less formal and disorganised.

The movie constantly tries to convey the message that the men of the past were better, and the affair between Ostin’s husband and a mother from the school illustrates this. Whitaker was faithful for years to his deceased wife while Matt, husband to Jules, was unfaithful: the crucial difference being that the millennial father, Matt was a stay at home father. The Intern compels us to ask if the working father of the ‘50s was a better family model, or if the psyche of a modern man is not better suited to the traditional model.

Essentially the movie critiques the ambiguity of present day gender roles and wonders: perhaps the baby boomers were right?

A problem however is that this theme of millennial men being a generation of lost boys is introduced but not brought to a proper conclusion.

There is no tension invoked by the theme, nor is there much humour. It is also slow moving. It isn’t clear what the plot was meant to be; at first it

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''A problem however is that this theme of millennial men being a generation of lost boys is introduced but not brought to a proper conclusion.

There is no tension invoked by the theme, nor is there much humour.''

appears to deal with Whitaker grappling with the working world of 2015, but changes throughout the film. It seems as though Meyers couldn’t put a cohesive structured plot together, and as a result mixed various potential plots together. As a result the film lacks substance and emotional depth. By the end of it, nothing much has happened and little has changed.

Although the reduction of characters to stereotypes prevails throughout the film, there are also some rare redemptive moments, such as Jules’ insightful speech at the bar about men now being named boys. The theme of whether gender roles were better in the past is a new one to our screens, and De Niro’s character with his suave attitude and old world ethic keeps the viewer trailing along in hope that things get better, that just maybe the film will pull off an ending that redeems it. Although it deals with the stress of being a CEO, marriage, new gender roles and ambition, for all its efforts The Intern fails to entertain.

In A Nutshell: The film lacks suspense, humour and entertainment. Carrying certainly more style than substance, it is a mediocre, albeit light hearted critique of gender roles.

FINTAN MOLONEY

Director: Nancy Meyers Starring: Robert De Niro, Anne Hathway Release date: Friday 2 October 2015

Distorting Reality: How Unique is Irish Comedy?

David Monaghan looks at what makes Irish television unique when compared to its American and British counterparts

top ten WORST PEOPLE TO SIT BESIDE AT THE MOVIES

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The Critic This person assesses every aspect of the movie while throwing around lingo like there’s no tomorrow. They often says pretentious things like: “The way the director used a close-up angle was simply genius, it really enabled me to understand her character,” and “The sheer cinematography of it!”

List. Like ever.

The Laugher This one is ridiculous. They roll on the floor laughing at mildly witty remarks, they split their sides at obvious immature jokes and what’s worse - they even laugh at moments that are inappropriate. It’s never okay to laugh during Schindler’s

The Ditz

The Ditz doesn’t have a clue, bless’em. He spends the entire movie asking obvious questions which really wouldn’t even be asked by a playschool student: “So wait, are the Death Eaters trying to protect Hogwarts?” Need I say anymore?

The Snoozer This is the one who is totally pumped for the movie before it starts but as soon as those introductory credits leave the screen, BOOM: the mouth is open, the eyes are closed and Zs are floating around the whole cinema. It’s particularly embarrassing if you have a snorer on your hands.

WHENEVER discussions around television comedy arise, two distinct styles are often pitted against each other: British and American. British comedy champions the downtrodden, all-too-human hero, while American comedy offers a more positive and uplifting outlook on life. While this is a slight generalisation (there are a few American comedies that feature underlying negativity, just think Arrested Development or South Park), in most cases it is the accepted norm. Irish comedy, much in the vein of its British counterpart, also stems from a culture of negativity, but is there anything unique about it?

British comedy, while funny, also displays scenes of intense sadness or pity. Audiences laugh when Ricky Gervais’ David Brent hijacks an office training session to play his comically-misguided guitar songs, they squirm when he attempts to upstage his new boss with a terrible dance. They sympathise with Dawn when she, in the very same show, describes how disappointing her life has turned out to be. Similarly, people remember when a frustrated Basil Fawlty thrashes his car with a broken tree branch, when Del Boy falls through an open bar, and when Blackadder and company make the final leap over the trenches and into war.

The humour in British comedy is often physical and at a character’s expense, and is punctuated by moments of reality.

American comedy, on the other hand, is distinctly different. While tackling moments of sadness, as well as elements of reality, it tends to wrap things up in a nice, neat narrative; rarely is anything left sad or ambiguous. In the sitcom

segment, for example, host Bernard O’Shea sings in Scrubs, for example, a storyline involving Dr. Cox’s alcoholism and depression is brought to a conclusion sean-nós style about emigrants’ longing for Tayto crisps while abroad – bringing Ireland’s emigration when JD helps the misanthropic doctor get back on his feet, and most episodes end with a life lesson or a problem to the fore and playing with it. In a sketch moral. Friends concludes with Ross and Rachel getting from the same show, titled ‘Edward Hurleyhands,’ a blatant spoof of Edward Scissorhands, a character, back together, ending a long-running plot thread. dressed head-to-toe in black and with hurley sticks This is in contrast to the final episode of something like the UK’s The Thick of It, in which Malcolm Tucker is for hands, uses his strange gift to master the game of hurling. Irish culture and reality are once again arrested, his future left uncertain. brought to the fore, but are mocked or distorted to the So, where does all this leave Irish comedy? Like point of parody.

British comedy, it wallows in negativity at times, While British and American brands of comedy but unlike British comedy, reality is often distorted continue to dominate the scene, Irish comedy, while or rejected. A very introspective form of comedy, holding some similarities to its British counterpart, is a it sees the faults in our culture, or our society, and unique creature. Seeing the flaws in its own culture, it it exaggerates them to the point of parody. It is no coincidence that Father Ted came to our screens in the chooses to parody them instead of embracing them.

So why is it that it teeters on the edge of discussing 1990s, when people began to question the failures of the clergy in decades past. The show follows three something real, only to take two steps back? It can Catholic priests on a small island off the west coast of be argued that it has something to do with an Irish cultural reluctance to discuss things frankly, but who Ireland – a simple, realistic premise. It is only when knows for sure? To paraphrase one Father Dougal they do strange things like enter a version of the Maguire; “the whole thing’s a bit of a puzzler.”

Eurovision or fend off an invasion of elderly women that farce comes into play. Both Father Ted and Father Dougal display incompetency at their jobs, and in one episode ''A very introspective Father Ted attempts to woo a female writer on the island, a very form of comedy, it sees controversial depiction. Writer the faults in our culture, Graham Linehan explains that or our society, and it they’re “just two people who happen to be [priests].” exaggerates them to the This parody of Ireland’s reality can also be seen in shows like point of parody.''

Republic of Telly. In a mock news

The Acrobat This guy cannot stay still. He stretches, he scratches, he takes off his jumper, and he puts it back on. His movement is irritating and distracting for the whole cinema.

The Muncher The Muncher is the one who opens their packet of Minstrels so slowly in a pathetic effort to be quiet, but ends up ruining the lives of every single movie-goer in the cinema. They also enjoy chomping on nachos like a hungry panda would shoots of bamboo.

They slurp their coke, they crunch their popcorn and everybody hates them.

The Predictor This guy spends the whole film attempting to tell

you what happens next, and fails miserably. “She’s definitely going to end up with him,” “He’s definitely going to die,” and “I bet he’s the father” are just a few of his horrific observations.

The Singer This guy is one of the most embarrassing of all the guys. He loves

humming, he loves whistling and he loves singing the whole theme song of a film out loud. This is the guy who belted out Smash Mouths’ ‘All Star’ in Shrek and serenaded the entire cinema with ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion while watching Titanic.

The Chatter-Box The Chatter-Box didn’t go to the cinema to actually watch the movie, oh no; he came to have the chats. Instead of allowing you to enjoy the movie, he burns your ear off about the interview he did last week, about his girlfriend Jess who never spends time with him and about how the night course in Spanish he took up really wasn’t organised that well. Nobody cares. Leave us alone.

The Spoiler This guy can’t help but warn you about the scary parts (which are no longer scary having lost the element of surprise), prepare you for the funny scenes and let slip that there’s a twist. More extreme versions of this guy exist and need to be treated with serious caution. I once knew a guy who told me how Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back ends. He still walks with a limp.

Words: Gavin O’Donnell

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Visiting Time A short story by Ezra Maloney

A storm of sighs rolls through the small space in which we have sat, stationary, for the last half-hour. This inertia seems to last longer each and every time we come here. The sheer dread of this place has cut lines deep into my father’s brow. His hair is greying. I bite my nails. We wait.

Finally, after what seems like an age, we crack open our yellow Nissan tomb, to stand shakily like new-born foals in the weak November sun. The building, huge and ancient, looms before us like a terrible dream still fresh in the memory; regardless, we walk briskly towards it. I cannot help but notice that there’s barbed wire draped across the fence, a thick crust of rust decorating it. There should be a sign here, like the ones on mountain-tops, warning us to continue at our own peril. Foreboding sticks in my throat; I feel as though I’ve dry-swallowed a pill. This is only our third visit.

Ivy slithers insidiously across the crumbling red-brick walls. At the intercom a voice of broken glass hastily admits us. I wish that I could sink beneath the gravel that crunches underfoot. I shouldn’t be this terrified but I’m twelve years old with a mouse-like disposition inherited from my father. She was always the brave one, a whirlwind with a thick mass of tangled red hair and a permanently Machiavellian expression. Spitfire, they used to call her.

Inside the hospital, a saccharine smile is pasted across everyone’s face.

They smile so widely that I worry that they’ll soon split in two like Humpty Dumpty. They grin maniacally but I’m old enough to know that they’re soaring high above us, celestial beings in cotton hospital gowns. I wonder what happens when the drugs wear off, or if they ever run out. What kind of life is this, to be lost inside your own head? How could you bear to be constantly dependent on the good will of others, as far away from the world as possible so that no one has to know that you exist? The only memory of the happy, ‘real’ person that you used to be lingers on in the minds of the people who used to know you. The people that don’t visit anymore.

Grey crusts of spittle linger around the corners of their mouths and their eyes are double-glazed. There’s a silence in this place that makes your skin itch. I feel as though we’ve wandered into a graveyard despite the colourful drawings on the walls. The television plays children’s cartoons on mute.

An eager, helpful nun with a high, sugary voice appears at my father’s side to guide us down the long, maze-like corridors. They’ve painted the walls yellow, like the sun, or golden sands, but all I can see is bile and jaundice. Something about this place makes me want to take a long, hot shower. My father and the nun talk stiffly; his ruddy jowls seem to

14

tremble ferociously in agreement with everything she says, “Yes Sister….

Yes Sister.” He recites it like a nursery rhyme. His assents punctuate her every sentence.

There’s a distant screaming coming from somewhere. It’s a disconsolate howl like no other human noise I’ve ever heard. Abruptly, it stops and the nun smiles sweetly at me. We stand hesitantly outside the door of the last room at the end of the hall. I catch only snippets of conversation, “Having trouble adjusting until…

Electroconvulsive therapy…I’m sure we’ll sort her out…Nonsense…Highlystrung…Woman’s troubles”.

We are led into a small, dank room.

The room is empty, save for a portrait

of Jesus and a hospital bed. I do not want to look at the bed’s occupant.

Instead I look at Jesus, struggling to decipher his expression. What would he think of a place like this? The nun leaves us and we stand stiffly, choking on our own silence. My father wrings his hairy hands and mutters almost incomprehensibly about a “Ridiculous, embarrassing woman…

What will the neighbours think…The school board?” There is no sound or movement from my mother in the bed.

I glance at her; my stomach clenches like a fist.

She lies spread-eagled in the cheap hospital sheets. Her hands and feet are bound in some fraying leather shackles as if she’s a medieval

criminal in the stocks. Her hair is shorn and colourless. Two half-moon shapes, scarlet, swollen and sore, mark each of her temples. All expression in her has been wiped clean, blank like a chalkboard at the end of the school day. I look into her eyes but somewhere behind them a door is shut and bolted, the key lost. My face grows hot and tears sting the backs of my eyes. My father looks out of the window.

There was a time, not so long ago, when our house was full of music and fresh air. My mother baked and had loud parties late into the night. It was wonderful, even though sometimes she forgot to make me lunch or bring me to school. I don’t think my father liked it.

The house was never clean. Then one

day I woke up and she was gone. I started to go to bed early and I didn’t miss any school. I liked it better when she made too much noise. This silence is ear-splitting.

My father seems pleased with her demure behaviour.

A few more short minutes pass and my eyes are glued to my mother. A mixture of terror and longing fills me in equal measure. All at once, my father breaks the silence. “Right, time to go then I think,” he says briskly. He nods stiffly at my mother. I long for one last moment with her. I rush to her side, grabbing her long, cold, pianist’s fingers. I repeat her name like a chant and tell her that I love her. I wait for a response. “Lisa,” she says. My heart drops into my stomach; my name is Carrie.

POETRY

The Fear of Impermanence

Marriage Equality

Everything lasts forever, On our web, I was jungle first, Where we collect times, naturally diverse.

And, continuously, frame them.

You came, conquering, with your The fleeting moment is crop dead.

Now that we have Spreading mastered its capture. monoculture.

From still image, black and white, I was driven to To the living stream. outskirts, hedgerows, All that has audience, Edges of worlds of has permanence, your making.

For we carry their nooses in our pockets.

When I fought to Flash – ensnared, grow you cut me, entangled.

Recorded – forgotten to Hacking back tender be experienced. timid shoots Discontent with its Seeking only to lifespan, share this sunlight.

We force it to linger.

Long after we ourselves I unfurled my petals have changed, and was branded a The moment lurks in weed Limbo.

Distorting Order.

Selfies outweigh savouring.

Withering and What good is a meal, if wounded I have bided we can’t post it?

What good are friends, if we can’t tag them?

What good is a life, if we can’t share it?

Share it, with all we know, And many we never will.

For the world is connected, Lilted petals – acid And our e-selves are pouring down a wall of what we make them. aluminium violets.

Their heads shrink and They have a shriek in the pain of it all. permanence,

We sometimes forget.

Sparking an irritated They we create outlive blush on the seamed us, cheeks; Spawns of our past Warping metal into cored selves. plums.

And we, like estranged A weeping train, its parents, throat constricting like a Look at our children, boa; And wonder at what vibrationless screams could have been, making the air keen.

If only we were better.

The molten marbles that Such is the nature of splashed down its face our world. ran down the path of Abundances of digital least resistance collections, Of tired, undying Away moments. from the lusty clouds that Victims of the fear of had once been enough. impermanence.

On to the whistling sound Stephen O’Brien sculptures sloshing from track to track.

On and On and On and On and On

This one sun we My time. all feel Our time - it has We all can share. come.

Eden excludes no children.

Rooted in knowledge of what Sunlight shines Ia on every seed, even those you threw I find others, rooted too, growing In darkness. stronger.

You forget that Roots of many, unique yet unified – every seed breaks through darkness nourishing!

To reach the sky.

You say –‘What child can be I was jungle first, sustained on these naturally diverse. wild Returning in Forest fruits? They celebratory cloud need our crop, bursts Clean and And blossoms of sanctified. every shade, I will live Burn back this encroachment To see this world before our land is filled with rainbows.

Redefined.’

Ryan Murphy But the earth has spoken, calling us all.

Heartbreak on Speed

Illustrations on pg 14 & 15 by Louise Flanagan

M. Lacy

15

While her recently published novel, Asking For It, dictates conversations about consent, Louise O’Neill talks to Eva Griffin about rape culture, digital boundaries and making our voices heard

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Photograph courtesy of Clare Keogh

Louise O’Neill: Writing Consent ‘‘IF THERE’S A BOOK that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” Toni Morrison’s advice could be the cornerstone for Louise O’Neill’s latest novel, Asking For It. The Clonakilty born author, already well known for her patriarchy-smashing debut, Only Ever Yours, wanted to start a particular conversation, to dig deeper into the issues that Ireland isn’t too keen to discuss. With her second book, she’s asking us to stare into the face of rape culture.

Set in the fictional Cork town of Ballinatoom, Asking For It splits the life of 18 year old Emma O’Donovan in two messy halves; before and after her rape. The book has dropped into our laps at the perfect time, as #AskConsent posters hang proudly on Dublin’s buildings and bridges. For O’Neill, the subsequent discussion surrounding her book has been the goal from the outset. “The most important thing for me was always the topic, the conversation that it would start... I feel very privileged to be a part of that and to be able to add my voice to that in whatever small way that I can.”

Though the logistics of bringing down rape statistics are far from simple, increasing people’s awareness seems like a manageable task if someone simply speaks up. “I think the most important thing sometimes is just that we talk. I do think that women especially, sometimes we’re told that our voices aren’t worthy of being heard and our stories aren’t worthy of being told.”

Representation is vital, and O’Neill recognises that there is still something unacceptable about how women’s stories are received in literary circles.

“There was a study recently where they took the main seven literary prizes in the world and of course the shortlists and the winners were slightly more skewed towards men, but what they found very

interesting was when you actually looked at it, most of the women that were nominated were writing about men. It’s very rare for a woman writing about a woman to ever be nominated because I think that our stories are sometimes relegated to the domestic sphere and not seen as important as stories about men.”

“Issues that really affect, that primarily affect women, such as abortion or such as rape… sometimes we don’t hear those stories and I hear people say to me ‘I don’t know anyone who’s been raped or I don’t know anyone who’s had an abortion’ and I feel like telling them ‘you do!’ It’s just that there’s such a shame and such a stigma attached to both of those experiences that women are silenced in them and they don’t feel able to talk about it.”

O’Neill sought out these stories, and found that women often have too many to tell. After hearing tale after tale of groping, sexual coercion and rape, she claims that, rather than sexual violence being an anomaly you sometimes hear about on the news, we’re in the midst of “an epidemic”. Not only is rape far too common a crime, but the prevalence of rape culture in our use of language is only exacerbating the problem. Todd Aiken made ludicrous assumptions about “legitimate rape”, spouting nonsense about the female body’s supposed defence mechanisms.

Whoopi Goldberg questioned whether Roman Polanski’s assault of a 13 year old was “rape rape”.

Then, in the midst of the Steubenville and Maryland cases coming to light in 2012, the small towns rallied behind their local sports heroes turned rapists, and O’Neill had had enough. “I think it was very indicative of a larger problem in which the patriarchy as a whole has that sense of entitlement towards women and towards the female body.”

Most shocking about both cases was that the

rapists circulated photos and videos of their crime online. “They just couldn’t fathom doing this and not putting photos up on social media… They didn’t even think that there might be any consequences, they didn’t seem to realise that what they were doing was morally reprehensible but also that it would have serious legal ramifications… They felt that they could just do whatever that wanted with this girl’s body.”

O’Neill was glued to the coverage, but still in the midst of writing her first novel. “I was so interested by it and I wanted to put it into Only Ever Yours but I felt like I was sort of shoehorning it into the narrative and it was too important an issue to not deal with in a responsible way.”

When it came to writing a follow-up to her deconstruction of ideal femininity, the narrative was instinctive. “As a writer, you write the story that comes to you. This was just something that I felt very passionately about. It was something that I really felt I needed to get out of my system and explore.”

Published by Quercus under their children’s literature label, both of O’Neill’s novels seem to fall on the furthest end of the spectrum. She deals with what is considered ‘mature’ material. Ultimately, the age of a potential reader doesn’t seem to be a concern style-wise. “With either of these books, I didn’t really set out to write a book for a young adult audience… I can’t see that if I was writing a book for adults that my style of writing would be that much different.”

In fact, O’Neill believes that the younger the reader, the better. “I feel very strongly that the younger you get someone, the younger you radicalise someone, the younger that someone adopts these sort of ideas; it is easier. It’s easier to adopt these sort of values and belief systems as a teenager, rather than when you’re in your fifties and patriarchal values have become deeply entrenched.”

This belief stems from her own difficulties in understanding the nuances of sexual boundaries.

“I didn’t know what consent really meant, not until I was in my mid-twenties definitely. I didn’t really understand because it just wasn’t something that was talked about. When you heard about rape it was always someone being dragged in an alleyway at knife point and that was rape. I think that I didn’t realise that there was other types of rape and other types of sexual violence and they were just as prevalent, if not more so.”

The idea of boundaries has become murkier in the age of the internet. Digitising our private lives has removed privacy from the equation, especially when sex is involved. Sharing intimate photos with a sexual partner is no longer a safe practice and the rise of revenge porn at the seedy hands of Hunter Moore has been a particularly worrying development. But when rape is involved, the permanence of the act is then not only inscribed mentally and physically, but digitally available and ready for consumption.

“Once it’s on the Internet it really is there forever,” says O’Neill, echoing the sentiment of her novel. “I suppose that interested me because I think before, if something like this had happened, someone like Emma could have just left. She would have gone to university in Belfast where no one would have known about it. She would have gone to America when she finished. She could have left it behind. But I suppose there was this sense that she was never going to be able to escape this. That was just so awful, that

sense of ‘I’m never going to be able to outrun this, I’m always going to be labelled with this.’”

“That sense of permanence about the internet is something that maybe I think young people or teenagers don’t sometimes grasp and I’m not interested in policing young people and I’ve always said this. I’m not interesting in saying to parents ‘this is how you should keep control of your children’ because adolescence is supposed to be a time of pushing the boundaries and sort of rejecting your parents and testing and exploring who you are as a person and your sexuality and everything; that’s what adolescence is about. It’s about figuring out who you’re going to be and what your adult identity is going to be once you come of age.”

O’Neill accepts that the internet is a key part of this exploration, but is worried that teenagers aren’t always capable of handling it alone, and can find themselves in dangerous situations. “I think the problem is that we don’t teach them, we don’t give them the tools with which to use this incredible resource in a responsible and safe manner and I think that’s probably the issue.”

The sharpest end of the double-edged sword that is the internet is of course, trolling. It would seem that someone like O’Neill, who is vocal about feminist issues and women’s rights, would be ripe for targeting. Thankfully, she has remained unscathed. “I don’t ever search for my name on Twitter, I don’t look up GoodReads or I don’t look up Amazon, so maybe I protect myself in a certain way. Maybe if I googled ‘Louise O’Neill’… would it come with ‘what is this bitch on about?’”

Hopefully not, but rape can be a contentious issue, and O’Neill was aware of what she was getting herself into. “Whenever women talk about rape in general, it’s this topic that people get very defensive about and really angry about so I was sort of preparing myself, but it’s actually been overwhelmingly positive and most people are like ‘yeah this needs to be talked about, let’s just have this conversation.’ Sometimes maybe we don’t give people enough credit… I think sometimes we underestimate, or maybe we think that Ireland is more conservative than what it actually is.”

The myth of old, conservative Ireland goes hand in hand with Catholicism, something that O’Neill grew up with but has steadily moved away from in time. “I really loved it, I did, and I loved that sense of community, of going to mass and all of that, but I think as I get older I just can’t morally support an institution that, number one, has been possible for the systematic sexual abuse of just so many children and the covering up of it which is even more horrific, and their stance on women, on contraception, on abortion, on homosexuality, on sex before marriage... there’s just a list of things where I’m like ‘well, none of my values align with this’ so why would I be supporting this kind of institution?”

She is quick to point out, however, that turning your back from the church doesn’t involve shunning people with a strong faith. “One of the best women I’ve ever met in my entire life, I mean she is a pure saint, is a nun and, you know, I have priests in my family and they’re these really good people and they’re doing really good work and they really believe in the work that they’re doing but the Catholic Church as an institution is just corrupt in its very core, it just has so much blood on its hands.”

“I think with Catholicism what’s very interesting is the way that the Virgin Mary is held up as this sort of ideal of femininity for us to emulate and you’re like ‘but she’s a virgin mother?’ It’s just this really odd dichotomy where it’s like ‘oh yeah, sure that’s what I’m supposed to be aspiring to be’, so I think that that hasn’t helped.”

The F-Word features very prominently in O’Neill’s vocabulary, and her Twitter page is an array of feminist observations often dripping with humour, but, like anyone, she wasn’t always so astute. “I

''As a writer, you write the story that comes to you. This was just something that I felt very passionately about. It was something that I really felt I needed to get out of my system and explore.'' would always say that my first introduction to pseudo-feminism was so funny when you think about it because it was a girl band manufactured by a whole load of men in suits... The Spice Girls. Girl power!”

Margaret Atwood soon set her straight, with her dystopian novel The Handmaid’s Tale inspiring O’Neill’s feminist views at the age of 15. She was soon hungry for more. “By the time I went to university when I was 18, I was really drawn towards anything that had to do with gender politics, gender literature and sexuality study and post-colonial women’s writing... So I always find it really interesting when people say ‘you know, I don’t really read that many female authors’ or ‘most of the authors I’ve ever read are male’ and I just think all the authors I’ve ever read are female!”

O’Neill has rightly been inserted into the ever-growing list of trailblazing women authors; writers with nuanced opinions who spark difficult conversations. It won’t be long before the next generation are thanking her for setting them on the path that Atwood carved out for her.

''I think the most important thing sometimes is just that we talk. I do think that women especially, sometimes we're told that our voices aren't worthy of being heard and our stories aren't worthy of being told.''

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music

A Wondrous Tale

Just days after their sell-out debut performance, Oh Wonder tell Corey Fischer about happy accidents and growing as songwriters

IT’S A PROJECT that has been over a year in the making and has challenged the way artists release music to the masses. A band hasn’t made a statement like this for a long time, but for British pop duo Oh Wonder, comprising writers Anthony West and Josephine Vander Gucht, it felt like a perfect fit. Since September 2014, the pair has released one single each month in an extended creative project that has culminated in their first album and catapulted them to a high level of fame among the indie pop scene.

Coming from vastly different backgrounds and musical styles, West and Vander Gucht have taken what they call “a happy accident and writing project” to the next level.

Combining their expertise and styles to challenge themselves as artists (imposing deadlines on their process that few other artists ever face), they produce music that is not only delicate and beautiful, but that also speaks to the core of what it means to be human in the digital age and the good that lies within us all.

“There’s a subtle narrative throughout the album [that focuses on] the forces of human relationships, the importance of fostering a community and a sense of love and support and being there for the people around you, whether they’re your closest friends or total strangers,” says Vander Gucht. “Basically we just want to celebrate the importance of being human and all the emotions that come with that. That’s what we want to spread: love.”

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easy to take in so there was enough space The two also say that their unique process around the music for it to breathe and connect has influenced the music they make in more with people.” ways than one, and placed pressure on them In spreading this message of connectivity, to create songs that “stand alone and don’t fit they have also connected into the context of an with one another and album”. “The process ''We just have grown together as was definitely rough,” artists. West is primarily admits West, “because want to and has been you have to produce celebrate the atheguitarist lead guitarist and fifteen singles instead vocalist for a number of one album.” Vander importance of of bands as well as a Gucht adds that they producer for some others. were only ever “in the being human Vander Gucht was trained headspace of one song and all the to approach music from a each month. So it’s weird how you have an emotions that more classical standpoint and has played piano album at the end of it come with since the age of five. all. It’s amazing.”

Individually, the two Inspired by artists that.'' write in drastically and songwriters like different styles and forms, but together, Oh Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, Cat Stevens and Elton John, the pair says that they have gained Wonder’s signature sound shines through.

Both feel like they’ve learned more about the a level of respect for what they call “the function and practice of songwriting from one artistry of writing songs” and the “potential another and that they’ve come to appreciate for a song to translate and connect with their creative outlet in an entirely new way. people.”

Because of their musical backgrounds, Their signature simplistic sound, ripe with particularly Vander Gucht’s, neither of them soft piano tones and fluid vocals from both had experience of incorporating digital beats West and Vander Gucht has been a conscious into their tracks. A core component of the decision for them both. “We wanted it that modern pop era, these digital beats presented way,” says West. “We wanted everything a challenge to the duo that they quickly outside the music to be really simple, right overcame. down to the font we used for our logo. We “We always write the piano sounds for wanted everything to be refined, simple, and

the background first…and it’s easy for us to write the base of the song. At the core they’re all just simple songs. We always write them like that,” explains West. “But if it’s a good song,” says Vander Gucht, “you can put any production on it: as a metal song, an electronic song even. That’s when real songs come to the forefront, so that’s what we were aiming for.”

If their music and message sound oddly philosophical, that’s no act. They’re both remarkably passionate about what they do and about what music can do, always drawing inspiration from and aspiring to be what West describes as “artists who say more than just the music they’re writing.”

Even with an accidental narrative woven throughout their album, both maintain that their music is open to interpretation. “The beauty and power of music is that you can, as a listener, interpret your own meaning from a song and let that [be the] soundtrack [to] a part of your life, or comfort you or heighten your highs or whatever that music needs to do to serve its purpose,” says Vander Gucht. “We want to give the music space for people to internalise it as they wish.”

The duo have begun touring in the past month, selling out venues before Oh Wonder ever stepped onstage in front of a live audience and constantly adding to their schedule to satisfy fans’ demands. Touring has been something they never foresaw and has been a very moving experience for them.

“You never really expect someone to listen to

your music, never mind having hundreds of people in front of you singing the words right back at you. The tour has been absolutely amazing,” says West.

What does the future hold for Oh Wonder? “Who knows? We never expected we’d be here!” Vander Gucht exclaims. “If we do more live shows and a second album, that’ll be more than we ever dreamed.

So hopefully more of the same. We’re still going to continue to write songs anyway and just travel the world and meet people and spread good vibes.”

Oh Wonder’s self-titled debut album is available on iTunes.

''If it's a good song, you can put any production on it...

That's when real songs come to the forefront.''

album Reviews

Chvrches Every Open Eye

SPECIFICITY is the reason music is classed as “indie”. Because of its quirks and left-field stylings, it will never fully infiltrate the mainstream. In Chvrches’ case, mixing a sweet voice belied by sinister lyrics with sparkling 80s synths and rock-hard beats, you couldn’t get more niche. The experience is akin to coming across a raisin in an overdone scone with the constant awareness that you almost broke your teeth in order to get to it.

That’s why it’s slightly disappointing that the lyrical edges from Chvrches’ first album have been sawn off. Lauren Mayberry still sounds like she’s auditioning for Disney, but in trying to sing with “heart uncrossed” she may alienate fans of the first record. However, the trio may be onto something special; a maturity and an overwhelming desire to be free is tangible in songs like ‘Leave A Trace’, one of their best yet.

The barbs are still there (“you talk far too much for someone so unkind”), but are balanced out by searching awareness. Mayberry knows she needs to feel release, but she won’t apologise for what she’s left behind. “I’m as sane as I ever was,” she asserts, with sentiment that will resonate with every heart-in-progress who listens wide-eyed to someone who knows exactly what she’s talking about.

Meanwhile, ‘Keep You On My Side’ is a thrillingly tense banger, and ‘Never Ending Circles’ starts the record with a swagger so triumphant and euphoric you can’t help but get lost in it. The more mainstream themes of freedom and selfdiscovery may be too sweet for some to swallow, but the journey is well worth it; those who still have faith enjoy an effervescent pop record straight from the heart of a complicated lover.

In A Nutshell: Exuberant and open-hearted pop for lovers of 80s tunes with an extra bite.

Adam Lawler

Youth Lagoon

City and Colour

Savage Hills Ballroom

If I Should Go Before You

YOUTH LAGOON’S third studio album, following up the acclaimed Year of Hibernation, as well as the curious, experimental odyssey that is Wondrous Bughouse, falls sadly short. Savage Hills Ballroom, sub-titled as “A Collection of Ten Songs,” truly feels as such: some tracks stand out, but there is little to bind the project together.

This lack of cohesiveness is evident from the first track, ‘Officer Telephone’. The opener progresses towards an aggressive, crushing industrial groove on its latter half. However, the song soon falls apart, skidding out before it can reach a satisfying conclusion. The transition into ‘Highway Patrol Stun Gun’ is one of many disappointing finishes on Ballroom.

This feeling persists when approaching the record’s lyrical and vocal aspects. On both of his previous releases, Trevor Powers’ voice is coated with effects, distorting it and blending it into the instrumentation. On this LP, however, he has made the bold decision to abandon this synthetic crutch, putting his singing at the forefront.

Now that Powers’ lyrics are central, they are unavoidable offerings of standard pop-fare content. “You were the drug that I couldn’t shake, you were the habit that I couldn’t break,” he laments on ‘Rotten Human’, one of several moments on the album that feel less than authentic.

Savage Hills Ballroom is best characterized as wasted potential. Some fantastic instrumentation shines through, like the blaring horns and crisp drum fills on ‘The Knower’, or the heavenly synthetic cloud that drifts under ‘No One Can Tell’. However, these elements are undermined by lackluster song structure and lyrics. Even its most touching moments, like the ethereal piano interludes that divide it in half, feel out of place.

The end result leaves this album feeling utterly average.

SEASONED indie one-man band City and Colour brings forth a romantic, ambient, and sonically entrancing album with fifth full-length release, If I Should Go Before You. Clocking in at around nine minutes, album opener ‘Woman’ feels lengthy at first, but as you listen the ferocity of the instruments grows in a way that really holds attention. The album as a whole, like much of City and Colour’s work, is heavily influenced by some of the bedrock genres of rock and roll: folk and blues. Blues-inspired basslines throughout the record are integral to the tracks and often easy to pick up on, such as the rolling bass of ‘Northern Blues’, which compliments the delicate yet soulful vocals.

The album’s title track features lovelorn lyrics sung with passion, and a melody that gives the whole song a rather sultry feel. While the start of the album is more experimental and even a bit heavy for City and Colour, an upbeat, acoustic guitar driven sound is not lost. ‘Map of the World’ has all the makings of a great indie pop song, with catchy piano melodies, a driving beat, and smooth, clear vocals. Whether heavy, light, fast or slow, swinging melodies are central to almost every track on this record, which makes it easy to dance to. The album closer ‘Blood’ is a soft, emotional acoustic ballad featuring a beautiful vocal duet.

With this record, City and Colour allows the instrumentation to convey as much as, and sometimes more than, the lyrics themselves.

Simultaneously mellow and buoyant, soul and blues are the perfect companion to the steady beats and acoustic riffs. If I Should Go Before You is thoughtful, clean and unique.

In A Nutshell: Youth Lagoon’s sound is stripped back, leaving behind what made the artist’s music so compelling in the first place, and making for a largely forgettable listen.

In A Nutshell: Equal parts mellow, heavy, and upbeat indie with an airy feel.

Kurt Vile b’lieve I’m goin’ down

b’lieve i’m goin’ down comes as a follow up to Kurt Vile’s successful 2013 offering, Walking On A Pretty Daze. The sixth album from Vile and his accompanying band, The Violators, shows a coming of age for the Pennsylvania-born musician.

On first listen, the album’s sound seems to borrow from a wide range of musicians and genres.

The influence of bands such as Foo Fighters is clear, from songs such as the opening track ‘Pretty Pimpin’ and on the LP’s undoubted centre piece, ‘Wheelhouse’. Elsewhere in the album, there are nods to an older blues/country tradition, such as on ‘Outlaw’ and ‘All in a Daze Work’, while elements of soul wander through ‘Life Like This’.

In many ways, b’lieve i’m goin’ down is a record of beg, borrow and steal. What could have been a chaotic rag bag of songs, is bound together by a thread of mood and tone, and instead forms a balanced and nuanced homage to the many musicians and genres that have influenced Vile in the course of his career. It is an album with open arms.

There is something here for even the most casual listener, though the depth of lyrical and musical detail in the album makes for a collection that is anything but casually thrown together. b’lieve i’m goin’ down bleeds cohesiveness like the work of a veteran musician. It is both introspective and forward looking, with a seamless balance between the mellow and the jovial, the personal and the accessible. In several respects, it is the sixth album some artists can only dream of. And by the sounds of things, Vile has little intentions of “goin’ down” from here on out.

In A Nutshell: A mature and balanced album that pays tribute to its many, varied influences, while still holding its own.

Síofra Ní Shluaghadháin

Anna Walsh

Owen Steinberger

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GIG GUIDE Aisling Kraus gives the lowdown on the highlights of the Dublin gig scene in the coming weeks

Radar: The DEAD SETS The Dead Sets frontman Luke Sharkey chats to Harry Ó Cléirigh about listening to blues as a teen and not being afraid to upset rock’n’roll puritans

IN Photo: BEACH HOUSE THE DEAD SETS PHOTO: ARTHUR DOYLE Jack Savoretti / Saturday 10th October / The Academy Italian English poet-turned-singer/songwriter Jack Savoretti made a big name for himself on both sides of the Atlantic early in his career, touring Europe with Corinne Bailey Rae and having his music featured on One Tree Hill. In his most recent LP Written In Scars, Savoretti acknowledges the influence of the 60s/70s Italian pop loved by his father. The key ingredients are warm, husky vocals and mellow acoustic guitar: think Damien Rice, Benjamin Francis Leftwich and Ben Howard.

Beach House / Sunday 25th October / Vicar Street Since the band’s formation in 2004, Beach House have been met with consistently positive reviews with respect to their material and live performances. The Baltimore dream pop duo is lucky enough to count Beyoncé and Jay-Z among its fan base — the couple have been spotted at previous shows. If this isn’t enough to demonstrate their calibre as a live act, an examination of their festival performance track record should suffice: SXSW, Coachella, Glastonbury and Pitchfork, to name but a few. Depression Cherry, their fifth LP, was released in August 2015 and has been extremely well received by critics and fans alike.

Johnny Marr / Sunday 18th October / Olympia Theatre Guitarist and co-songwriter of The Smiths and recipient of the NME Godlike Genius Award in 2013, Jonny Marr has sustained unspeakable levels of achievement throughout a glittering, decades-long career. As a key member of one of the most influential indie bands in history, Marr has been voted one of the greatest guitarists of his generation. His post-Morrissey solo career has been highly successful.

Marr receives outstanding reviews for the energy and musicianship in his live shows. This Dublin performance comes nine days after the release of live album Adrenalin Baby.

The Tallest Man On Earth / Wednesday 21st October / Vicar Street Often compared to Bob Dylan, Kristian Mattson’s delicate acoustic guitar and raspy vocals may remind listeners of Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros.

The Swedish singer-songwriter has remained true to himself as an artist from the outset, turning down record deals until he was approached by a label who allowed him creative independence. Four LPs later, this perseverance continues to pay off, and Mattson’s latest release Dark Bird Is Home is his most ambitious yet. Known for charismatic live performances, The Tallest Man On Earth has sold out Vicar Street and headlined the Iveagh Gardens in previous Irish appearances.

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Lower Dens / Monday 26th October / The Button Factory The second Baltimore band to grace this list, Lower Dens began churning out indie sounds when singer/ songwriter Jana Hunter grew weary of performing solo, and decided to start a band. The resulting sound dips into an eclectic array of styles, spanning from dreamy psychedelia to folk, fuelled by Hunter’s glimmering alto vocals, introspective lyrics and synths which grow more present with each record. Released this spring, third Lower Dens album Escape From Evil has been flagged by most as the band’s best output yet.

''I always try to write what's relevant to me and to other people and stay away from some established conventions of the genre.''

CRUNCHY, articulate guitars jangle within the confines of rock and roll. A humble yet busy rhythm section provides an accommodating platform for the primal vocals and expressive keys to really sing. Devoid of any histrionics, this is a blues rock outfit without a doubt, yet there is a slight twist to their sound.

Authenticity comes easy for The Dead Sets. Their sound isn’t laboured or contrived, but rather something quite natural. “I think it’s definitely a natural thing, writing rock and roll,” says Sharkey. “Blues music, the lyrics especially, really resonates with me quite strongly. Probably much more so than the music I grew up with.”

Sharkey speaks of listening to older blues records as a means of rebellion, as he grew up in a household where more contemporary music dominated the radio. “My dad was quite dedicated to discovering new music, supporting Irish music, and I think the blues came as a kind of rebellion, as it’s quite an antiquated form of music now. My dad was constantly pushing this new music at me and I kind of said, ‘wait a minute, I want to learn where all of this came from.’” Sharkey discloses this with both reverence and enthusiasm. He says that the same sentiment is true for the other four members of the group.

Their interest in the blues is legitimate.

The Dead Sets feel like they are beginning to belong to the nascent and burgeoning “MissiLiffey Delta Blues” scene in Dublin, pioneered by the likes of The Hot Sprockets and The Eskies. Sharkey says that they thoroughly enjoy the devout followings of more than fifty people who attend intimate rock and roll gigs in Sweeney’s and other venues on the pub circuit. “There is a rather hardcore, religious following of people who love rock and roll. I’d go out on a limb and say every time that we have played we get quite a nice response, because I feel good music really speaks for itself.”

Although their pursuit of blues is genuine, they’re not afraid to shake things up either. They’re not playing up to the Sweeney’s congregation - far

from it. The Dead Sets aren’t afraid to upset the blues puritan in favour of pursuing their own sound. “I don’t think I’d like to pigeonhole ourselves and call [us] an out-and-out classic rock, blues band. Our influence is taking something from the past and putting a new twist on it. What we’re trying to do is take some of this older music and make it more attractive and more relevant. With regard to lyrics, I always try to write what’s relevant to me and to other people and stay away from some established conventions of the genre. Some Blues puritans might look down on us and dismiss us and take us as some sort of hybrid, that we’re not the full fledged thing, but we’re authentic.”

Drop into Whelan’s on the 8th of October where The Dead Sets support Those Responsible in their EP launch.

Harry Ó’Cleirigh

ODE TO SELF SERVICE

With music dominating much of pop culture discussion, Eva Griffin wonders if more could be done to promote female sexuality in song

IN PHOTO: HAILEE STEINFIELDS “OH WHAT an ordinary day; take out the garbage, masturbate.” In what is one of the most understatedly evocative track openers, Annie Clarke admits her practice of masturbation in both a casual and brazen manner. The St. Vincent track, ‘Birth In Reverse’, isn’t a self-love tribute at its core, and this very fact is what makes Clarke’s admission so trailblazing. It’s not so much an admission than a statement; her morning masturbation is as boring and ritualistic as putting the bins out.

Female masturbation has been politicised to the point where pop music has often tiptoed around the subject, while references to heterosexual male sexuality are dropped as often as names. If song-writing is the ultimate form of self-expression, then why is the topic of self-pleasure so taboo? The masturbation ode is one of music’s rarities, often veiled by coyness like in Cyndi Lauper’s 80s hit ‘She Bop’. On first listen, Lauper is musing on the pleasures of a shuffle on the dancefloor, but listen closely and the metaphor is simple, but clear: “I’ve been thinking of a new sensation, I’m picking up good vibration.”

So, why the shyness? Anatomy-wise, men have it all hanging out in the open, while for women, the nucleus of pleasure is a bit more hidden. It’s not much of a surprise then, that the accessibility of genitalia is mirrored by the availability of male versus female representation when it comes to sexuality. In general, images of sex are a lot neater than the awkward mess that is reality, and the snappiness of pop music doesn’t lend itself to lengthy discussions of the ins and outs of masturbation. However, the shortness of a tune can always be manipulated into a fleeting tribute to the art of masturbation.

Just last year, Beyoncé ditched Jay Z to form a new power couple with Nikki Minaj, and the two released a storming track praising the pleasures of womanhood, with the not so subtle title of ‘Feeling Myself’. In the video for Hailee Steinfeld’s first single, ‘Love Myself’, she wears a black leotard with the words “Self Service” emblazoned on the front, unabashedly stating her plans to “love [herself] so hard that it hurts”. FKA Twigs claims that she can get her ‘Kicks’ without you and Lady Gaga’s ‘So Happy I Could Die’ features lyrics about touching herself “to lie [her] own track”. The days of Lauper dancing around the subject appear to have gone, but full disclosure still brings with it an air of discomfort.

While it’s accepted, almost encouraged, to be sexy, the expression of female sexuality still provokes a sense of unease. Reclaiming our bodies is a task suited to all types of representation, with music arguably being the highest platform from which to shout. Women come neatly packaged for sexual consumption, but the notion of a woman taking agency of her own sexuality still straddles

'' Female masturbation has been politicised to the point where pop music has often tiptoed around the subject, while references to heterosexual male sexuality are dropped as often as names.''

the line between normal and taboo. Self-service is public service as far as sharing lived experiences of women’s sexuality is concerned. We need a spectrum of masturbation anthems to reflect the variety of female sexual desire. All women would benefit from a masturbation-themed back catalogue as extensive as the history of male dominated sex tunes, with all their unsavoury lines about licking lollipops, candy lips and bubble-gum tongues.

Most innuendoes in pop music are easily applicable to sex, but very few reject the idea that a sexual partner is always necessary. The topic of masturbation still attracts a surprising level of controversy for a practice that is entirely safe and healthy. Learning to express your sexuality and explore the idea of personal sexual desire is a fundamental part

of growing up. If the chosen soundtrack to your adolescence promoted healthy sexual activity, the benefits would be endless. Higher levels of sexual self-esteem, sexual agency and sexual satisfaction are accredited to regular practice of masturbation; the ultimate form of safe sex.

Not content to let our hands take all the reigns, Macy Grey made a summer comeback with the song ‘B.O.B’. Accompanied by a video of a cheery cartoon vibrator bopping through a bedroom, the lyric is a celebration of sex with a different kind of partner.

Sex toys are a revolutionary weapon in the fight for sexual agency, and an important tool for women to unearth personal desires. While the song probably won’t be a chart-topper, its very existence is a triumph for feminism.

The unfolding of sex-positive feminism in pop culture has been slow, rising from a celebrity flirtation to a full-blown movement. Miley Cyrus is out and proud about her sexual agency, harnessing her body as a tool to both shock and educate fans and haters alike. In the video for her love song ‘Adore You’, Cyrus seems to be loving herself more than anyone else, as she writhes under sheets before heading to the shower for some more steam. Unfortunately, for all her effort in promoting female sexuality, people decided to focus on her ‘less is more’ approach to clothing. For many, Cyrus wasn’t so much starting a discussion as using her body to pump up the view counter.

Pop music moves in waves, but when a movement eventually crashes, the outcome isn’t always as

progressive as we’d hoped. Sometimes female artists choose to express their sexuality more visually, accompanying music videos built on shock value with tamer lyrics. While visual representation is key, the message would come through even stronger if the frames had the words to match. The unfortunate effect of sexually liberating music videos is that ensuing discussions centre about women’s bodies, therefore overshadowing their body of work. If masturbation was as celebrated in song, we could sing along in celebration, instead of being relegated to idle observers of a tradition laden with masculine sexual energy.

In the words of ever revelatory Canadian artist, Peaches: “People talk about big dicks, big ass, but no one talks about a big vagina.”

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That ‘Fairytale’ Life

As the guitarist of Bray’s most exciting musical offering to the world since Hozier, Saoirse Duane tells Aisling Kraus about the journey from school concerts to Electric Picnic

IN PHOTO: WYVERN LINGO vocalist Karen have been writing and playing STILL FULL of the joys of two outstanding music together since their school days. The Electric Picnic performances, almost three weeks later, Wyvern Lingo have hardly stopped fusion of three disarmingly powerful voices, skilled songwriting and musicianship and an to catch their breath before diving headfirst extremely broad range of influences from Led back into the pursuit of stardom. They’re not Zeppelin to Jeff Buckley to Rihanna, makes for a new band, but it’s just in the last number of months that Saoirse Duane, Caoimhe Barry and a refreshingly unique and memorable sound.

Having grown up together, the chemistry and Karen Cowley have experienced a significant understanding between the three musicians acceleration in their rise to fame. Between is utterly natural. “We’re touring with Hozier, all so comfortable with signing a record deal each other, we can say with Irish indie label ''We shared anything to each other,” Rubyworks, recording in the stage Duane explains. “We’ve Germany and thrilling been doing it for years at festival crowds, it’s been with FKA this stage, so it’s just part a whirlwind year for the twigs and of the friendship.” trio. With a new single The story behind the set to launch and an Villagers... It's band’s striking name isn’t extensive tour of Ireland all in the next couple of like 'oh my God, quite as elaborate as one might expect: “we needed months, the roller coaster we're a real a name really quickly for won’t be slowing down a Christmas concert in anytime soon. band.'' school, so we just got it Even still, the out of a dictionary”. This is remarkable achievements an accurate representation of how seriously the that Wyvern Lingo have made recently don’t three members had been taking their career seem to be getting to their heads. As Saoirse Duane chats about some of these victories, she up until recently. This changed drastically a little over a year ago, when “Karen finished her appears down to earth, and in more disbelief college degree and I was changing job… We than any onlooker about how smoothly were all just like, ‘do you know what, why don’t “everything just fell into place” for the band.

Hailing from Bray, guitarist/vocalist Saoirse, we do it? Let’s just give this a shot.’”

At this point, the group began giving music drummer/vocalist Caoimhe and keyboardist/

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their full-time attention and before long, things however — Duane even goes so far as to flag it as the highlight of their career so far. “We were began to snowball. “Our manager happened amazed at how many people turned up, it was to see us at a gig and he got us a record unreal. It was just a real proud deal — we signed a moment, a ‘we’re doing the right couple of months ago ''We've been thing!’ kind of thing… We shared with Rubyworks. It’s the stage with FKA twigs and been really hard work: doing it for Villagers… It’s like ‘oh my God, Monday to Friday, we’re a real band’. I just can’t get nine to five band years at over the amount of people that practice and gigs on this stage, were there.” The realisation of the weekends. But it’s the scale of what is happening paying off.” so it's just for Wyvern Lingo is a welcome As is the case with one for its members. “It’s a bit so many aspects of Irish part of the breathtaking… You just have to life, moving up in the friendship.'' take it all in as you go along. It’s music industry has a an amazing feeling to be able lot to do with who you to do what you love for the rest of your life, know. Wyvern Lingo have the good fortune of hopefully.” being able to call the star of the most recent Virtually the only challenge that Wyvern Irish music success story an old friend. Touring as an opening act for their mate Andrew, known Lingo have faced in their rise in prominence has been some small instances of sexism as they to some as Hozier, was a golden opportunity to interact more with the music industry. They convert thousands of music lovers into Wyvern are not the first all-female band to express Lingo fans. “Hozier’s crowds are very sound, frustration at being repeatedly gender labelled they’re generally there for the music and it’s lovely to support a friend. We’ve known him for by members of the press. This is an issue years and we’re so lucky to have him.” However, which has become increasingly relevant since many ‘all-female bands’ such as HAIM have support slots have a very different feel to crossed the bridge from the indie world into headline gigs, Duane notes. “With the support slots, everybody’s there to see a different band, the mainstream of late. “If it was [an all-male] band, they wouldn’t go ‘all-boy trio’. We had so we’re like ‘please listen to us!’” this interview once and [the interviewer] This year’s Electric Picnic appearance was turned around and said, ‘so which one are you?’ an entirely different experience for the trio,

Like, ‘are you Scary Spice or Baby Spice?’ kind of thing. You wouldn’t say that to a bunch of lads!

So we struggle a bit with that.”

A new single entitled ‘Subside’, revealed on SoundCloud on 23rd September gave fans an exciting preview of the fruits of many months’ labour. The sultry, gritty track will be Wyvern Lingo’s first single released on Rubyworks, and exposes evidence of further ventures into the world of R&B. This transition from the airier, more folk-inflected tones of The Widow Knows EP, to a groovier R&B sound drenched in attitude, has affected all of their new musical creations, Duane explains. “We’ve kind of gone away from the whole folk aspect of it and just focused on what we grew up with and what’s actually secretly hidden in our songs. The Widow Knows EP was a little bit R&B but not half as much as what we’re producing now.”

In this deeper exploration of Wyvern Lingo’s musical roots, their wish for the new music is that listeners find it to be accessible. “[I hope] that the music actually means something to them — that they can relate to the songs, that would be the best thing. Just that people get us.”

‘Subside’ will be released on iTunes and Spotify on Friday 27th November. Wyvern Lingo play Whelan’s on Saturday 28th November.

MOONLIGHT

In the run-up to their album release and performance in Whelans, Half Moon Run guitarist Conner Molander tells Daniel Ryan about living out his childhood dreams

STILL QUITE FRESH in the music scene, having only formed in 2010, Half Moon Run don’t seem to be caught up in the hype of their newfound success.

Conner Molander, Devon Portielje, Dylan Phillips and Isaac Symonds from Montreal, Canada, are on the verge of releasing Sun Leads Me On, their second album as Half Moon Run. The band will begin touring in support of their new album in October and as it happens, will be “playing Ireland on the day it comes out.” Molander spoke to OTwo ahead of the album release and European tour.

The guitarist gives a distinct impression of being very down to earth, and claims to feel “more than ever like [he’s] been learning the lesson you’ve got to be yourself. You’ve got to keep the same motivation that you [had] when you got started. Don’t let it all get to your head. It’s not that hard to do, just the day-to-day life that you live keeps you in check. All that stuff aside, it’s about the music, it’s about the life you live. The rest is very flattering, but it doesn’t change much.” This truly refreshing approach to life inside the music industry only serves to make Half Moon Run seem even more genuine than their music already has.

The foursome have come a long way since their 2012 debut album Dark Eyes, and have recently sold out their local venue, Metropolis, on all four show dates, as part of their upcoming tour schedule. “It’s really cool, I’m really, really looking forward to that,”

Molander says of this. The enchantment of an individual living out their childhood dream is clear in his tone. Thus far, the band has released three singles from the upcoming album, namely ‘Turn Your love’, ‘Trust’ and ‘Hands In The Garden’, all of which sound like something of a departure from the musical style in the previous Half Moon Run album. In these tracks, they don’t seem as reliant as before on vocal harmonies and percussive focus. Molander assures us that these songs are “anomalies”, and “as far as the rest of the album goes, there’s still a lot of harmony and more folky stuff and a lot of different styles. In some ways, there are some departures, and some stuff got even a little more folky [than before].”

Speaking with Molander, it becomes clear that the band is evolving, albeit in a way that’s staying true to its roots. The four musicians are using what’s happening around them as inspiration.

The new songs now transition from their first release with “a little bit less of the love song type stuff on this record”, the subject matter of the songs being, as Molander puts it, “more about the circumstances that we find ourselves in as we get older and a little bit more mature.” Listening to their latest tracks, it’s plain that they haven’t lost their unique identity as a band and have resisted giving in to pop culture and the charts’ temptations: their indie/folk sound is not lost and

DAYDREAMS still has the same romantic vibes to it.

With many music acts nowadays getting involved in other areas of arts and media, Molander expresses his interest in this. “The band happened before I was even ready to think like that. I was nineteen when Half Moon Run started and I’ve been doing it ever since, but I’d love to get into creative projects and collaborations in all types of media, in writing or film. I’m open to anything really and I’d love to branch out.” Half Moon Run, like so many other up and comers, have been introduced to new ways of expressing their creativity almost every day. “We’ve been lucky to get a lot of new stuff. It’s like the childhood dream when you get loads of new gear… We buy a new synthesiser and as soon as you turn [it on], you basically get a free song out of it. You get inspired by this sound, and a little riff comes out. In that way, every time you get a new sound [and] you get to play with it, it’s inspiring to put a voice to it.”

Half Moon Run have toured with numerous different artists in the past few years and Molander doesn’t forget to mention some acts that have inspired and helped the group to become who they are. He cites Patrick Watson and Thus Owls, both fellow Canadian acts, as being amongst their musical influences.

Half Moon Run have been compared to a

diverse array of bands, including Fleet Foxes, Daughter and Alt-J. However, they insist on protecting their own individuality and it’s quite evident that they aren’t modeling their artistic image on that of anyone else. Rather, they have an idea of their own and want to pursue that, and to “connect” with people around the world through their own feelings and inspirations.

One of the most charming things about Half Moon Run is their extremely obvious love for and interest in what they do. Molander explains that “it was always a dream to play music all over the world, but I think mainly we would dream about the music we wanted to make. That was the most exciting thing in the beginning - just hearing the sound, and how everybody’s different voice contributed to something unique, something different to the individual. That was inspiring, and then for it to connect with people was really special.”

Sun Leads Me On will be released on 23rd October.

Half Moon Run play Whelan’s in Dublin on the same date.

''It's about the music, it's about the life you live. The rest is very flattering, but it doesn't change much.''

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Grunge Daze

Lucy Coffey examines the relationship between grunge vintage and its impact on current catwalk trends

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GRUNGE music epitomised the mid eighties.

It rose to prominence throughout the decade and into the next as the laid back attitudes of preceding funk and jazz fusion fell and ‘textured’ music came in vogue. It was very much a genre of complex emotion and this was easily reflected in the clothing that rose to prominence alongside the genre itself. While the modern ready-to-wear rendition of grunge has a ‘make-do-and-mend’ ethos surrounding it, designers over the years have harkened back continually to its punk and metal origins. This desire to imbue origin style with the current was seen in London Fashion Week, especially on the Ashley Williams & Marques/Almeida runways. However, we also see the desire to incorporate a more structured silhouette and layered style in Dublin vintage retailers this season.

Autumn is a time for warmth – for jumpers, denim, suede and all the other cosies you’ve been saving for the colder months. However, the fluid and unstructured shape of a lot of the fabrics we enjoy to wear this season, typically wool or cotton blends, can leave the wearer looking more like a ball of indistinct twine than we would like. This is where the streamlined nature of vintage grunge comes in. Siopaella and Ninecrows are two of the best vintage shops in Dublin: their products are well made, well-kept and, in popular opinion, ‘well good’.

Seeking to combine the modern relaxed form of the grunge silhouette we incorporated two key components of vintage grunge that makes an outfit look more structured while retaining its

comfort, texture and pattern.

This is exemplified in Julia’s plum beaded shirt that offsets her faded acid green and yellow shorts with an air of refinement. Not only do the beads catch the eye, the edges of the shirt have also been staggered and re-beaded to give the illusion that the shirt itself blends into the rest of the outfit. Offset with a pair of pin-holed tights and maroon patent shoes, this outfit allows the wearer to move easily as well as retain a structure so the material doesn’t fall to a flop.

Men’s grunge fashion is more typical of the Cobain-esque type. Conor sports a black and sepia toned shirt and a large green-scale bomber jacket. The pattern accentuates his own physique as well as lending weight to the overall look. When compared to his forest green tartan shirt, thrown over a black hoody, we see how grunge can manipulate the look while incorporating some basic pieces in a different way to add an edge to it.

Take again the contrast between the green tartan shirt and the heavy navy-green jumper.

The typical ‘clashing’ of patterns can be overruled by the simple contrast of the lightly frayed denim jeans and instead feed into the whole look through colour coordination. In a similar sense, the black and white patterned shirt, accentuated with red dots, sits tight at Julia’s waist but loose at the back. This allows movement throughout the fishtailed shirt that echoes the gliding softness of the long tulle skort she is wearing. The patterns, which may seem overwhelming on their own, achieve an

understated look when paired with a denim sheep’s wool jacket. Pairing the simple with the bold allows the outfit and wearer to choose what degree of the dramatic they want, how under or overstated they want to be.

Accessories are what really make the difference this season. Large rings in metal, iron and silver add subtle ornamentation, and body chains serve to order a look, as well as dress it up. Perhaps a pivotal element always associated with grunge is tartan. However the recent success of blanket as a staple has allowed for a lot more creativity with typical tartan, and in Nine Crows you can purchase a scarf that contains a culmination of greens, reds and yellows, all of which focus and warm any outfit you wear. They can be draped around the face to give off a cloistered look, or strewn across the shoulders in a style reminiscent of school day leisure. The warmth of tartan fabric as well as the raised weave and pattern can ultimately decide an outfit, so it’s not an accessory to pass by this season.

Thick belts, strong-brimmed hats, and faded boots – all of these serve to contain the softness of the grunge palette and instead blend the focus so that when you look at the overall outfit you can see 80s trends align with modern grunge influences. This season’s rails are stocked to the brim with pieces ready to be gorged on and re-worked. After all, grunge is a style of constant upheaval and change – a style that can be restructured at the drop of a tartan scarf.

''Pairing the simple with the bold allows the outfit and wearer to choose what degree of dramatic they want, how under or overstated they want to be.''

Conor:

Julia:

Blanket Scarf: €59.99 80’s Shirt: €22.00 Lacoste Harrington: €60.00 Navy Woolen Jumper: €32.00 Checkered Shirt: €22.00 Frayed denim jeans: €35.00

Black Skirt: €25.00 Vintage Sequin: €49.00 Denim Jacket with Trim: €69 Vintage Shirt: €25 TopShop Shorts: €15.00

Photographer: Dmytro Moyseyev Make-Up Artist: Ligi Mazutele Clothing: Nine Crows and Siopaella.

Models: Conor Byrne & Julia Li Yan Jaffar.

Stylists: Lucy Coffey & Ailbhe Keenan

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Traffic Luxe

Corey Fischer reviews Moschino’s latest traffic-stopping collection, which debuted at London Fashion Week MOSCHINO’S Spring 2016 line turned heads this season as models walked the runway dressed in what many would call ‘unconventional’ fashion: traffic-inspired couture.

The line utilises materials inspired by traffic we all encounter on roads every day and turn it into chic, modern womenswear. The collection incorporates fabrics emblazoned with caution tape print, dresses made of orange fences that line construction sites, hard hat designs, and plastic material fashioned into fringe dresses.

While the traffic-oriented theme is evident and a clear indicator of Moschino’s trend points for the season, a number of looks seemed out of place. Some were anything but flattering and fashionable, whether on model or mannequin.

This included a segment of the show with looks resembling cleaning products. One even seemed to be modeled after a toilet brush, the last thing anyone wants to aspire to be.

Another took the concept of “Vegas showgirl” to a whole new level by attaching neon signs to the front of a dress, making the look clunky, uncomfortable, and unappealing.

A third look was more like a crime scene than a dress, with caution tape fabric crisscrossing and creating unflattering lines on the model.

But perhaps the biggest faux pas of the collection was a segment of the show which instantly brought Sesame Street to mind.

Moschino debuted not one, but four dresses constructed of either plastic fringe or feathers

that would instantly remind one of the funny, furry, and insane-looking puppets that tell jokes and typically hoard cookies, not couture.

The worst of these was a yellow ball of enormous feathers that covered all but the model’s legs and head and resembled none other than Big Bird.

Thankfully, the highlights of the collection far outweigh the lowlights. An orange dress made from construction site fencing screamed professional while still being chic and flattering enough to transition from day to night. A second dress, constructed of wire mesh and cinched with an orange and white bow, felt both modern and retro; a throwback to the polished style of the 1950s.

The crown jewel of the collection, and the only dress that resembled neither puppet nor cleaning product, was a beautifully designed floor-length dress made of plastic fringe. With an extremely flattering bustier and slit to show off some leg, the dress could easily appear on the red carpet and would surely turn heads.

Thick horizontal stripes of red and blue fringe made the dress stand out from an otherwise crowded collection, and the way it shimmered and flowed as it came down the runway was dreamy to the point of surreal.

All in all, the brand’s Spring 2016 line rode in the fast lane though, at times, was snagged in bumper to bumper traffic.

Mermaid Launderette

Katie Scanlon reviews the mermaid chic trend in Sophia Webster’s new footwear and bag collection DURING her London Fashion Week presentation, designer Sophia Webster once again got in touch with her whimsical side. Through her show, she transformed the venue of a membersonly hospital club into a deep sea dive. Leaving no doubt as to who her favourite Disney princess is, the overall theme of Sophia’s adventurous display was the Mermaid Launderette. It was thought to have been one of the standalone pieces from London Fashion Week, and was overall wonderfully out of the ordinary.

By all accounts the show itself was simply enchanting. A group of mermaids took a well-deserved break from their tails and hung them on a washing line, just to spend time lounging on blue satin sheets inside a giant oyster shell, donning Sophia Webster bejewelled shoes. The staging of the show was impressive, and praise must go to the celebrated set designer Shonda Heath who successfully brought Webster’s imaginary world to life.

Mermaids make a delightful addition to Webster’s list of inspirations, which have previously included unabashedly quirky themes such as butterflies, Barbie, Gwen Stefani and the circus.

Successfully mixing her love of fairytales with high end fashion instilled a sense of childish glee in all who saw

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the show. What makes Webster’s pieces so appealing is the blend of femininity and creativity they conceive. Her latest collection debuts some eye-catching and unforgettable shoes that manage to retain their relevance in the marketplace and not veer into the dangerous zones of outlandish or tacky.

Despite having chosen such an attention grabbing theme Webster managed to stay on point, tying the theme and the showcased pieces together effortlessly. She never strayed from specific detail, ensuring that the visuals for the show related directly to her products. The clip on the clutch bags look like crafted underwater pearls and the texture of some of the cross body bags are fabricated to resemble a mermaid’s tail.

Even with the high expectations one has for such a talented designer, the Spring collection does not disappoint in its variety. Webster covers many different styles, so that there is something available for all tastes. Many of the shoes bring to life the vibrancy of the ocean.

Each pair is as beautiful and kooky as the next, from the bejewelled platform sandals in candy pink and pastel blue to the peep toe pumps with large colourful eye-catching flowers.

With soothing pastels being a popular trend this season Webster rightfully

opted for a palette of soft colours including baby pink, lavender, baby blue and peach. These tones are highlighted by vibrant jewels, which play an integral role in the collection.

Of course, an outfit is never complete without the right bag and, being well aware of this, Webster offers a multi-coloured box clutches alongside fun and witty canteen bags. Each one is as glamorous as possible with an eye-catching mix of colours, topped off with an adorable pearl shaped clasp.

It is clear to see that Webster has a fascination for the quirky side of life and magical creatures, and the essence of her accessories appeal is their ability make life seem fantastical.

''With soothing pastels being a popular trend this season Webster rightfully opted for a palette of soft colours including baby pink, lavender, baby blue and peach.''

Dublin de Rigueur A slice of Dublin Street Fashion Name: PEDRO VASQUEZ Studying: History and Classics “I stole the cardigan from my Da, it’s from Cedar Wood State and my shoes are from Clarks. I’m a big fan of the jumper, I have to say. The colours have quite an autumnal feel to them.”

Name: Shauna Conway Studying: Philosophy and Sociology “My dress is from New Look and my shirt is from Penneys. I got my necklace from my mum – she got it on a street market in Waterford where they make jewellery out of shells.”

Photos: DOMINIKA BIERNACKA

Think Mink Valerie Tierney looks at how the fashion industry is becoming more subtle in its forms of animal cruelty by examining the sudden ‘Mink Lash’ craze jumping from eyelid to waterline It has long been said that the eyes are the window to the soul, and perhaps this is why people have always had such a vested interest in enhancing them. For confirmation of this one only need look at beauty brands, which always seem to sell at least one mascara promising to make your eyes “pop”. Amongst the latest eyewear trends however, are Mink Eyelashes, either in the form of strip lashes, or semi-permanent extensions. These lashes are coveted for their ability to create a range of different looks, from the natural to the super dramatic, as well as the fact that mink strip lashes can be reused up to twenty-five times.

But what exactly are mink lashes?

Mink lashes are produced by gathering fur from mink, sterilising these hairs, and then either attaching them to a band (in the case of strip lashes) or packaging them in preparation for salon application as lash extensions. The use

of mink as a fashion accessory is hardly new, however there is a singular difference in the way these lash extensions are marketed. Many companies maintain that they gather their natural mink hair in a humane way, such as by brushing the mink to gather hair. For example, the company Velour Lashes, whose products have been worn by celebrities such as Nina Dobrev and Beyoncé, insist that they collect hair “from free-range zoos… during the shedding seasons”. At the other end of the spectrum, some companies make no claims that their products are in any way ethical.

It is well accepted that fur farms are not suitable environments for animals, with them being kept in overcrowded conditions. As well as this, they don’t get appropriate veterinary care and are frequently fed improper diets.

However, are these “ethical” producers much better? Many would argue that they are not. As

''The use of mink as a fashion accessory is hardly new, however there is a singular difference in the way these lash extensions are marketed''

mink are solitary animals that tend to roam, keeping them in zoos and other confined spaces goes against their nature, and increases the chance that they will fight amongst themselves, causing stress and emotional harm, as well as physical damage. As for brushing them to collect hair, it must be remembered that although these animals may have been born in captivity, they are not domesticated, and prolonged forced human contact can cause them to become stressed and anxious.

There are plenty of alternatives, from synthetic materials such as synthesised hair, to really good mascaras. However, it is worth noting that mink is also currently in use as a buzzword, and many salons offering

“mink eyelash extensions” are actually using silk and other synthetic alternatives that have been created with the properties of mink fur in mind. The bottom line is that each person should do their research before buying, and decide for themselves what they are willing to support in the pursuit of beauty. Is the beast worth the beauty?

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Arts and literature

Emerging Writer: Danny Denton

Danny Denton talks with Maebh Butler about how childhood dreams, Irish culture and even shame all have an impact on his writing AS A CHILD, a frequent question put to you is “what would you like to be when you grow up?” Some of us, the lucky ones perhaps, have the never-changing answer of doctor, teacher, or police officer. Then there are the others, the ones with the always-changing dreams of various careers. Danny Denton was one of those children. It was this uncertainty, though, that saw Denton fall into the world of fiction.

“I wanted to be a carpenter, a movie director, an artist, a sport journalist, a gardener, a chef... Basically a thousand different things over varying lengths of time and with varying degrees of commitment. Perhaps writing became a way, for me, of being all of them in different times and ways.”

On talking about motivation, Denton says that a big incentive is “Shame (with a capital S).” Having undergone the prying questions of his hometown friends about his writing, he says that “I’ll often be finding it hard to sit down and get going and I’ll think to myself, if I do this, it’s one day closer to (hopefully) telling Bryan Breen that, yes, the book is being published, and he can shove his ‘unpublished’ jokes up his arse!” Something, probably, that many of us can relate to.

London, Cork, Galway, China and Spain.

Having spent time in each of these places, Denton is clearly well travelled and OTwo ponders over the effect this has on his storytelling. According to Denton, however, there is more to it than just where you are living. “Your environment stocks your writing in a myriad of ways, both in the present tense and nostalgically. You pick up scraps of material everywhere – my notebook is filled with overheard phrases like ‘I’m beginning to feel borderline perky’ and ‘What happened was...’, as well as images of vaulted ceilings and pigeons clinging to trees. But it’s important to

mythic narrative as a people, I’m indebted to that for inspiration, guidance, reference, and so on.” With the 1916 Easter Rising centenary around the corner, Denton also says that he hopes it will inspire contemporary art and literature to tap into that “rich mythology” that the Irish pride themselves on.

Having published quite a few short stories in various anthologies and journals, Denton stresses the importance of publications, such as The Stinging Fly, for emerging writers like him. Apart from short stories, Denton says that he is now working on a “new thing”. “It is a novel of fragments set in an Ireland where it always rains, a sort of fallen Ireland, on the verge of a catastrophic loss of data; a digital collapse.”

Denton is certainly someone to watch out for on the bookshelves, and his project proposes an undoubtedly exciting story from a thoroughly engaging man.

''If I do this, it's one day closer to (hopefully) telling Bryan Breen that, yes, the book is being published, and he can shove his 'unpublished' jokes up his arse!'' point out that the writer actually shapes the writing, not the environment.”

Despite this, Denton says that Irish culture is close to his heart. He says that being born outside of Ireland results in his friends never letting him forget that he is a “blow-in”. There is certainly something special about the Irish writing scene, and he says that “in terms of our

“Counting her blessings”: Lorna Quinn The ball is firmly rolling for Fair City and Love/Hate star Lorna Quinn. Adam Lawler speaks with the actress and finds a motivated performer who is only going to keep climbing ‘‘I ALWAYS thought I’d be a teacher!” Lorna Quinn, it seems, was a late bloomer. Although she was a member of musical societies throughout her teens, she had no idea that she would pursue acting, even while undertaking a degree in Drama in UCC. “It was a gradual realisation on my part,” she says. “What started out as a hobby slowly turned into something I truly treasured.”

Right now, she has a lot on her plate. With successful television parts as well as many stage productions under her belt, there is no sign of her slowing down. Rehearsals begin shortly for the Gate Theatre’s production of The Importance of Being Earnest , in which she plays Cecily Cardew, and Quinn also has a role in upcoming Irish drama The Journey. With Irish actors becoming so ubiquitous, people must think the journey to stardom is easy at this stage. “It’s different for each person. I definitely wouldn’t call it easy. It’s a labour of love; actors pursue this profession because they genuinely cannot imagine doing anything else. It can take time.

I worked part-time in Arnott’s during my early years of actor training. What followed Little Women in 2011 was a wonderful time on Fair City for eight months, my first feature film, and

national and international tours. I count my blessings every day.”

Having starred in productions of prolific material such as Pride and Prejudice and Little Women, it must be intimidating to play such beloved leads, but Quinn takes it all in her stride. “Elizabeth Bennet and Jo March are iconic characters. People will have formed their own special relationship with these figures and have their own idea of how they ought to be.

That is completely understandable.

My responsibility is to portray them as truthfully as I can.”

Quinn isn’t eager to be typecast anytime soon, and says she is drawn to a wide range of characters, especially those “drawn from the here and now.” She explains, “I think this is what is so powerful about theatre - the fact that audience members can perhaps find the experience cathartic in a way. With a character as sweet and endearing as Cecily, there’s no obligation to tap into the dark areas of one’s psyche. It’s about digging deep to uncover the absolute truth of the character in order to bring it fully to life.”

Some actors have a dream role in mind,

''Actors pursue this profession because they genuinely cannot imagine doing anything else''

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something so personally satisfying that they could walk off-set happy that they’ve done it all. When asked if she has a similar goal, Quinn can’t imagine retiring. “I’d miss it too much!

There are so many roles out there. I just want to work, and with acting, that’s not always a given. I’m just grateful to be making a living from what I love. So even if I did get to play that ‘dream role’, I would still want to carry on. There are so many inspiring success stories that encourage me to keep working hard and believe that my dreams and aspirations could become a reality in the future.”

He Knows What He’s Doing From Caerphilly to Dublin, Rebekah Rennick chats to editor turned author Thomas Morris about his first tentative literary steps, Ireland’s ever-growing writing community and the characters shaping his debut collection of short stories

NESTLED surreptitiously in the centre of Dublin’s bustling city is the office of Ireland’s leading, and most creatively diverse literary magazine. Atop a creaking staircase and comically situated by a neighboring beauty spa, The Stinging Fly headquarters is a quiet hub of intrigue. Its walls, decorated floor to ceiling with newly published books, scribbled notes and similar literary debris, comprise the work space which, since 1998, has been promoting and publishing the work of both Irish and international writers alike. As the windows darken and the heaving bookshelves seem to lean inwards, OTwo sits across from its current editor Thomas Morris. Sandwich perched on lap, he scans the office as he apologises unnecessarily for the surrounding disarray.

At the tender writing age of 29, it’s difficult not to be pleasantly surprised by Thomas Morris. Following the debut of his short story collection We Don’t Know What We’re Doing , this lad from South Wales has slowly but surely asserted himself in the swelling contemporary Irish literary scene.

Yet, while his stories today act as unflinching snapshots into the lives of various idling characters, his earlier writing endeavours were somewhat more simplistic. “The first thing I ever wrote was with my father when I was three years old, it was called Owl Man,” he laughs. “He was a super hero and an owl.

He rode on a skateboard and his arch-rival was a bear. I would narrate the story to my father and he would put it into some kind of shape. So that was the first encouragement into it.”

“We always had books in the house,” he continues. “When I came to Dublin, for the first time in my life I had a laptop rather than a family computer so I’d be up at night just writing little memories, little things that when I stuck them together, they shaped into stories.”

At nineteen, Morris arrived at Trinity College and like many keen writers sought out the platform of student publications to allow his voice to be heard. Yet, while he admits an inebriated decision at a launch party saw him delve into the societal world, and allowed him to see writing as “being something to take seriously”, he confides that he “was really suspicious of all societies. I thought they were kind of power hungry, ego-maniacs. I didn’t go near them. Then I just realised, actually no, people just have a passion for things. I wish I had been less cynical earlier on.”

Following university, Morris’ career path dipped and swerved into various avenues. From an internship at publishing house Lilliput Press, to sifting through Paul McGuinness’ personal photograph collection (“I arrived at the office where there were boxes of photos. They thought it would take me a week, but once I discovered I was getting paid by the day I was there for five months!”), it wasn’t until he got chatting to then editor of The Stinging Fly, Declan Meade, in the cosy underbelly of Grogan’s pub that his current pathway emerged. “I had met Declan once before, and I said ‘You don’t suppose I could do any work for you?’

We made up that I could do four, eight hours a week. I really learnt a lot just reading submissions.”

“When you read great work it’s really inspirational but you don’t essentially understand how the story works when it works. When you read stuff when it doesn’t work you can quite clearly see why it’s not working. I think that a lot of writers would say that they’re not actually particularly good writers, but they’re good editors and you kind of have to be.”

Set in his sleepy hometown of Caerphilly, Morris’ debut collection of short stories is the doorway into the idiosyncratic lives of a

selection of diverse characters. His narrative lets us connect with the mind behind the character’s voice, a bridging Morris has deeply considered.

“The distance and the gap between what people are thinking and what they’re saying is particularly interesting and that’s an interesting challenge when you’re writing.”

Amongst the individuals he describes is the impassioned pensioner who frets over the drying of his clothes prior to a date with the lovely Mrs. Morgan; the teenage girl, travelling home for the first time in a year to visit family and memories of her youth. Then there’s the quintessential Welsh lads visiting Dublin for a stag weekend; their false gaiety and bravado shadowing deeper emotional issues.

“I did a Creative Writing Masters in East-Anglia and there was a group of ten of us, a very interesting group because there were people from all over. They seemed to have an interest in the town I was from. It never occurred to me that it would ever be of any interest to anyone except people from the town,” he admits. “I wanted to write about people that you actually encounter in real life. The first ever story I wrote was just in a room, so it could have been anywhere. The second one I wrote was set in Caerphilly. I went away and wrote stories but they were set in rooms again.

I set another one in the town and before I knew it they started to stick together, with characters walking into one story and out of another.”

The ten stories comprising the collection are a net-curtain peep into the world of ordinary individuals. As each story finishes, the characters’ presence lingers on the page; their loneliness and small town idealism captured beautifully in transparent yet touching language. Morris transforms his voice into various forms, basing the characters on his own gimlet-eyed observations.

Yet, OTwo had to wonder, how close to home do these stories ring true?

“Well, there’s a warning at the start of the book,” he says, grabbing a nearby copy. “‘These stories are works of fiction. Any resemblance to real life is purely inevitable.’ It’s funny because people see themselves in characters when they’re not there. My mother thought one or two of the stories was a little bit too close to home for her liking,” he laughs.

The Irish contemporary literary scene is a bubbling cauldron of both upcoming and distinguished talent. Sitting alongside Morris are those such as Colin Barrett, Sara Baume and Kevin Barry, and this lively community with which they support one another is undeniably tangible. “The community is very exciting, so encouraging and supportive. I’ve really got the sense now that if someone is coming through, if they’re any good they’re not going to fall through the cracks.”

“I‘ve been spending a lot of time in the UK over the past few months and you realise there’s nothing like this there, there’s not the sense of importance given to new writing. There’s not this nurturing aspect to it, which to me, is really exciting here. The flip side of that is there might be the equivalent of a property boom to it, it might crash at some point!”

Highly unlikely, but if so, Morris’ unbounded conviviality and ten story delight would undoubtedly see us through until the next literary movement.

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Arthur Riordan: An Alternative Track to Musical Theatre

Arthur Riordan speaks to Valerie Tierney about the importance of the past in dealing with modern-day issues, his theatrical background and the women behind The Contraceptive Trains of the 1970s

When thinking of musicals, one is likely to think of the setting of a Parisian opera house, as in The Phantom of the Opera , or perhaps the talented felines of Cats . Certainly the first thing to spring to mind isn’t the Irish contraceptive train of 1971. This, however, is exactly the subject matter of Arthur Riordan’s new show, entitled The Train , which will be performed as part of this year’s Dublin Theatre Festival.

Arthur Riordan is an accomplished actor, playwright and lyricist, who began his career as many do: by honing his talents and building a network of contacts in the realm of student theatre. His career began when he was invited to write sketches for a comedy show that aired on what is now RTÉ 2, entitled Nighthawks . Amongst the sketches were comedic gems, such as Riordan’s performance as DeValera living with a modern couple, where “he lived in their fridge and sort of imposed his frugal comforts on them”. In addition to that early work, Riordan has also enjoyed success with several other productions, perhaps most notably the musical Improbable Frequency, which won three Irish Times Theatre awards, including best production.

Historically, Ireland is not exactly renowned for being the most progressive of countries, and things which are commonplace and easily accessible today were not always so.

Possibly the most clear-cut example of this is contraception, which was illegal in Ireland until 1980. Naturally, this was an issue that was of great concern to the Irish Women’s

Liberation Movement (IWLM) at the time. In response to the oppressive legislation of the day, they organised a demonstration and it became known as the Contraceptive Train.

A group of women, many of whom are still prominent figures in Irish society, such as Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny, decided that they would board a train from Connolly Station, and travel to Belfast, where contraceptives were freely available. They then returned to Dublin, and attempted to get the “French letters”, as condoms were referred to then, through customs in order to highlight the illogicality of the law.

an evening of entertainment. He does this through the use of humour and satire, writing techniques which are less than foreign to him.

It was his way “into writing in the first place, and [is] something [he is] comfortable with”.

Riordan includes an “Irish every-couple”, wittily christened Adam and Aoife, who act as “more pure comedy in the piece and reflect changing attitudes in Ireland in response to the train.”

He also includes a “framework where there is a parallel with Milton’s Paradise Lost, so that the Irish authorities are God and his angels and the women are Satan and the rebel angels rebelling against God.” This is in order to ensure the musical retained a light hearted tone, and didn’t become “too reverential to the whole exercise,” as Riordan puts it.

Despite this humour, it was important to Riordan that the stories he unearthed during his research be appropriately conveyed. Riordan recounts several of these tales: “about a month or so, very shortly before the train, they [IWLM] organised a meeting in the Mansion House, not really sure how many women would come, but not expecting a great number and something like a thousand turned up, and so already it was a huge event … then towards the end of the evening, one woman stood up and said a very simple thing, but something that none of them had heard publically before. This woman called Helen Heavey stood up and said ‘I’m a single mother, and I am very proud of my

''This woman called Helen Heavey stood up and said 'I'm a single mother, and I am very proud of my little daughter', and this just galvanised them because they had actually never heard that phrase before and it moved everybodY''

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Without doubt, this is an important moment in Irish history that deserves to be celebrated; but why through the form of a musical? Riordan didn’t hesitate in providing an answer: “it was quite a self-consciously theatrical event in and of itself, and these are people who, like Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny, now they are not represented on stage, they are fictional characters, but these women were larger than life characters and it was socially quite an important event.”

Legislation and oppression are not exactly the lightest of topics ever to grace a stage, but Riordan manages to make them into

little daughter’, and this just galvanised them because they had actually never heard that phrase before and it moved everybody”.

It was also important to Riordan that he properly convey the social conventions of the 1970s. Sex and contraception were not part of the conversation. Indeed, as Riordan found during his research, many of the women who were taking part weren’t afraid of being arrested. A certain thing did scare them, however. “[What] they were terrified of was their mothers hearing about this, specifically because it was related to sex.” In a similar vein, Riordan also wished to convey that campaigning for reproductive rights in the 1970s was not without personal risk. As Riordan clearly put it, “they were risking shame and ridicule and possibly their jobs, even within the women’s movement.”

It is difficult to listen to these stories and not think of the Repeal the Eighth campaigns that are ongoing at the moment. When asked about this, Riordan states that this was not an aim of his while working on The Train , though he agrees that there are parallels to be drawn. This is especially in relation to what he termed the “abject cowardice of the political class”, and he hopes that by setting the production in the past “people will see the absurd things that were taken for granted and accepted, and think what absurd things are accepted today.”

The Train by Arthur Riordan and Bill Whelan will be performed in the Project Arts Centre as part of Dublin Theatre Festival, from the 6th to the 17th October. Tickets are available from projectartscentre.ie.

IN Photo: arTHUR RIORDAN

FaTal Fourway FINDING OUT SANTA IS NOT REAL ROISIN MURRAY It’s a day no child ever forgets. Forget all other milestones; eighteenth birthdays, graduations and confirmations all pale in comparison. The day you discover Santy isn’t real- that’s the day that you have officially left Neverland, and you will never be going back.

Seeing as I fancied myself a spy growing up, it was somewhat appropriate that the most crushing of my revelations had been caused by my sleuthing skills. Initially, my suspicions were aroused by the change in Santy’s eating habits. It seemed puzzling to me that the designated Santy mince pies were left untouched, whilst the sole Guinness glass I had left out had somehow accumulated company. Santy seemed to be going a tad overboard on the aul drink, with almost no soakage to be heard of.

Yet, the clincher came the Christmas Eve that I staked out in my bedroom, furiously trying to fight

off sleep. An almighty creak reverberated around the bedroom, and I knew he was here. But I kept my eyes closed, obviously – I was definitely not going to risk losing my popcorn maker. I had to say, though, I didn’t expect Santy to wear DKNY perfume. Someone tripped over the shoes I had (purposely) strewn over the floor in a respectable attempt at a booby trap, followed by a very familiar voice uttering a word that I had once been grounded for using. My eyes sprung open just in time to see my parents vaulting across the room as if they were competing in The Hunger Games, whilst frantically shhhh’ing each other. What were they doing? Was Santy sick?

Once my presents were safely in my grasp the next morning, I confronted them. They admitted it.

All was not lost, though; I still had the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Wait, what?

EVA GRIFFIN I know that my fellow writers will do their best to play on your heartstrings with their tales of parental deception, but none can match mine. I had been a fan of Santa Claus’ work growing up, praising how often he stuck to the list but never forgetting the times that he strayed. I would say to myself, well, we all make mistakes, so I guess this bootleg copy of a badlytranslated Digimon Gameboy game will do. Little did I know that the cheap, probably completely fake game came not from the magical sack of a jolly old man, but from the dirty hands of my lying parents.

One year, my older brother received an obnoxiously large air hockey table from the man in the sky. This was the same Christmas that I had knelt in front of the tree and prayed to Santa to please,

please, please make Pokemon real and give me a Pikachu already, like for fecksake I love Pokemon so much, why can’t I have one?! Amen.

Anyway, sometime after the holidays, my meaniepants parents threw a party for all their meanie-pants friends. I was making my way through the sea of liars when I came upon a conversation between my dad and another one of Satan’s workers.

“So, where did you get the air hockey table?”

“Pricemart. Got a pretty good deal.”

Pricemart. I thought that was a pretty weird way of saying Elves’ Workshop, but then I remembered sometimes we went there to buy Oreo cereal. A pretty good deal? This heathen before me had purchased the tainted, forsaken table on the cheap? Everything

fell into place.

“WHAT???” My dad turned around and saw the familiar lip wobble, the big eyes welling up with tears.

“Ah jaysis, sure you already knew that Santa’s not real, right? You’ll be grand.”

No, father, I didn’t know, and your cold-hearted cruelty plagues me to this day. Sometimes I sit in the car and put on some really sad music, probably by Sarah McLachlan, and stare out the window thinking of the death of my childhood and the stuffed Pikachu sitting in my lap, a single tear rolling down my cheek.

DAVID MONAGHAN It was the Christmas of 1999. Westlife, Boyzone, Eiffel 65 and Ricky Martin topped the charts, Stuart Little, The Matrix, and Pokemon: The Movie entertained cinemagoers worldwide, and in a small village in rural Ireland a young boy was preparing for the arrival of Santa. This little boy was a very lucky little boy; he had light-up sketchers, a Game Boy Colour (with Tetris n’all), and all the crayons he could chew. What more could he want?

This was the last Christmas of the 20th century, and while people were preparing for the oncoming doom of Y2K, there was only one thing this ignorant little boy wanted: a Dustin the Turkey plush, complete with a silver suit and whacky catchphrases. “It’s as clear as the nose on Anne Doyle’s face,” the toy would

yell. Of course, this little boy didn’t know who Anne Doyle was nor did he care, all he knew was that it was Dustin was on the tellybox and he was funny. He knew that this was what he would ask Santy for. He knew that this was going to be the best Christmas ever.

It was two weeks to the holiday, and the house was getting busy. Family members were running back and forth, wrapping presents up and putting decorations on the wall. “Will you be okay while we pop out for a bit, Dave? Your grandad will be so upset if he doesn’t get his annual gift of socks and aftershave.” “Sure thing, father,” said the young boy, like a Dickensian orphan. “I promise not to get up to shenanigans in your absence.”

This little boy was a lying snake. While his dear old dad was out, he decided to inspect the wardrobe in his paternal figure’s room, only to discover, to his horror, the very Dustin the Turkey plush he wanted from Santy, staring right back at him. It was in that moment that the young boy realised that Santy hadn’t been giving him presents all this time. That Thomas the Tank Engine bike he got two years previous? A sham! That Batman costume with the welly boots and gloves? A lie. Everything he had held dear up until this point had become unravelled.

And that little boy, dear reader, grew up to be me.

KARL QUIGLEY Naturally I assumed Santy was just taking a break, Do not be fooled by my other Fatal Fourwayers, my own horror in discovering the truth about the one and and beards can be itchy. But when my mother arrived only Santa Claus is the true winner here. It was a long dressed, not as an elf or as a reindeer but also as Santa Claus; then things became suspicious. She had and slow decline through the years, terrifyingly so.

There were hints dropped here and there, my father a beard though, still no clue how she got her hair that dressed head to toe as Santa Claus. But without the white. Then as the years went on, it was tough not to beard, and it was November. And he just kept yelling miss the signs. Literally. Signs posted up in the sitting that “he’s not real!” I of course assumed ‘he’ meant room on Christmas morning. Cryptic messages like “He’s not feckin real” and “Grow up you idiot” were capitalism and by ‘not real’ he meant the slowly declining economy. My father is a complex man. But placed instead of the usual presents. I spent so long trying to decipher these unusual, incredibly encoded I digress.

messages.

My parents watched, for some reason still in costume, shaking their heads. If only I could decode these messages from Mr. Claus and make them proud.

Clearly it was a right of passage for a man to discern the true meaning of Christmas from these signs. But apparently not. I suppose it’s natural for everyone to discover Santa isn’t real. Sure, I think I’m ahead of most people. I found out last year and I’ll have you know I only spent three hours crying.

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FOTOGRAFIE

the best of student photojournalism 1

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1: Amanda Cheng 2: Julia Kerr Peterson 3: Aisling Kraus 4: James Holohan 5: James Healy

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