ISSN 1756-6657
Journal of Health and Social Care Improvement 2021 Oct: Vol 4 Issue 1
Gender Differences in Romance Perception and Actions that Elicit Felt Love April Amesbury, Trainee Counselling Psychologist University of Wolverhampton A.Amesbury@wlv.ac.uk
Romantic love is viewed as a cross-cultural and intense experience that influences multiple aspects of human life (Jankowiak & Fischer, 1992, p. 149). Relationship quality, stability and relationship satisfaction are all said to be correlated with romantic love (Riehl-Emde et al., 2003, p. 266). While romantic relationships can lead to greater well-being, euphoria and longer life expectancy (Drefahl, 2012, p. 472), relationship dissolvement can lead to depression, anxiety, pain and acute mental distress (Mearns, 1991, p. 328). Additionally, the Office for National Statistics in the UK, recorded the highest number of oppositesex couple divorces in 2019, which was an increase of 18.4% compared to the 90,871 divorces that took place in 2018 (Ghosh, 2020). The most common grounds for divorce for opposite-sex couples was “unreasonable behaviour” with 49% of wives and 35% of husbands petitioning on these grounds (Ghosh, 2020). Consequently, Psychologists have an important role to play when counselling couples, as the effectiveness of therapy could impact not only the couples, but also their children and future partners. The more information Counselling Psychologists have regarding the way men and women understand and communicate love, the more effective therapy may become. Some scientists argue that these divergences in behaviours and opinions may be due to gender differences in cognitive processing (Yin et al., 2013). Cognitive processes encompass almost all basic, as well as complex mental manipulation or storage of information (Spicer & Ahmad, 2006, p. 221). This includes memory, decision making, learning, language use, reasoning and problem solving (Smith & Kelly, 2015, p. 2). Over the years
6
there have been many studies establishing gender differences in cognitive processing (Theofilidis et al., 2020, p. 269; Wehrwein et al., 2007, p. 156). Early studies found that men and women differed in their conceptualisation of love such that men are more likely to think about sexual commitment and intercourse satisfaction when thinking about love, while women are more likely to think of emotional commitment (Buss, 1988; 2000). However, not many studies have explored the consequences of these cognitive differences in relation to romantic relationships. Yin et al., (2013) is one of the few studies which has sought to understand how romance is identified and assessed in a romantic relationship. The results of the study provide the first piece of evidence for gender differences in romance perception, proposing that it is more effortful for men to perceive and evaluate romance. Furthermore, results showed higher rating scores in males than females for low romance items, but not for high or medium romance items. This can explain how men might perceive simpler acts as romantic, while women see these same gestures or scenarios as low romance or normal day to day occurrences, leading women to feel like men are not romantic enough. In addition to the evidence of gender differences in romantic information processing, there is also evidence that the way love and romance is conceptualised and perceived can be influenced by gender. A further study by Yin et al, (2018) investigating romantic appraisals in male and female Chinese college students, found that men and women differed in the processing of romantic information and that it may be more effortful for men to perceive and evaluate romance degree (Yin et al., 2018).
