DAN ROBINS

Changing how the actions and events are viewed, can have a profound effect

For much of the initial weeks of trying to manage the new work from home day to day, I found myself feeling guilty. I felt I wasn’t able to support my wife (who’s role has reduced since the gallery she is marketing manager for closed to the public) more. I found it difficult to balance getting work done from a table in our bedroom with helping out with our daughter, Tilly. It all felt overwhelming and when I was helping with her, it felt - horribly - like an additional chore.

A couple of weeks ago I was reminded of a story my wife had told me from her maternity leave: The first few weeks and months (even years in some cases) are hugely stressful and the sleepless nights incredibly tiring for new parents. Often this makes the mid-night feeds, 4am wake ups and multi-hour walks while trying to get them to sleep feel like a never ending list of chores. While the lack of sleep doesn’t change, changing how the actions and events are viewed, can have a profound effect. My wife talked about how she changed her mentality from “having to [get up in the night]” to “getting to [be up in the night together]”.

I loved this mentality at the time and being reminded of it now has made me try to think similarly: rather than “I have to balance work and looking after Tilly”, I’m now focussing on the opportunity “I get to have a cuddle on break times” (far nicer than the lack of cuddles I get in the office) and “I get to have lunch together with my girls”. It hasn’t reduced the workload, but the mindset shift has definitely helped balance my mental health.

DAN ROBINS

DIRECTOR - CMO ADVISORY AT PWC AUSTRALIA