New Blackmore Vale, December 24, 2021 51
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Health & Wellbeing
Be kind to yourself over the Christmas period
Christmas and New Year is a time when our mental health can be severely challenged; so we need to take extra care of ourselves. Friends and families get together, often not having seen one another for months. With this though comes expectations, which for many are hugely stressful and may not work out in the ways we imagine. In our desires we imagine harmony and joy, though often the situations and dynamics can turn out to be fraught and disappointing. We’re often not truthful about how we are emotionally, physically or financially; as we may feel ashamed or perceive ourselves not good enough compared to others. Some will go to great lengths to try and appear they’re okay, when in fact they may be suffering greatly behind the façade. It can be
incredibly difficult to be authentic and vulnerable when there’s so much expectation on us to be joyous and fun. Many find the celebrations painful and arduous, because they may be anxious about feeling compelled to join those they’d not normally choose to associate with. Depression and loneliness are accentuated when we see and hear others gathering and supposedly having a jolly time. For some who have lost people close to them through bereavements, relationship break-ups or just loss and absenteeism; the festive season can be a trigger of painful memories and regrets. Drug and alcohol misuse rises massively at this time of year often with terrible consequences, as people try to escape uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Domestic violence and most
types of abuse also tend to rise. This year there’s the added concern about the pandemic which is already causing arguments and division. For many this festive season will not be easy but there are some basic common-sense things one can do to keep oneself safe, help others and feel more positive. Don’t put yourself in situations that may be overwhelming or cause you undue anxiety. Stay with people you feel safe and comfortable with. Keep an eye on your surroundings if at a social gathering, staying alert and trusting your gut feelings. Lay down your own boundaries, such as being with people for a certain amount of time and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into doing anything you don’t want to do. Don’t people-please and be assertive about your needs. Nurture yourself by doing
things you enjoy and feel comfortable with. Most of all try to be kind and nonjudgemental. Giving back is a wonderful way to feel good and it can really help others. A kind word, a Christmas card, a brief visit, a phone call or text, doing some voluntary work, a warm greeting and smile, etc – all help us to feel we belong and matter, whether we are givers or receivers. More than ever now we need each other, a sense of community, gentleness, kindness, tolerance and unconditional love. Having consideration, empathy and time are three of the best gifts we can give – all of which are free and can bring comfort and joy to so many. n David Stanton is a Senior Counsellor/ Psychotherapist living and working in the Vale. Appointments: 07584 711488
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