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Health & Wellbeing

Health & Wellbeing Learn to listen with your eyes Imagine you’re a racehorse!

When did you last listen to what someone had to say? When I say listen, I mean, really listen. Listening to the extent where you are completely focused on what the other person is saying. Not trying to butt in and tell them what you think or jumping in and finishing their sentence for them. Not desperately waiting for them to take a breath so you can put your five eggs in or giving the odd ‘yes, no, uhuh, mm, yep’ to hurry them along because what you’ve got to say is so much more important. Not interrupting them and just railroading the conversation completely or just hearing white noise because you’re too busy thinking about what you’re going to say, so have no idea what they’re jibber jabbering about! I mean, really listen. Be honest, a lot of the time we aren’t listening very deeply at all. A lot of this is due to us being distracted by the jumble of things that we personally have going on in our own minds; the to-do list, the place you’ve got to be next, the pain in your back, the disagreement you had with your partner that morning. And when someone is chatting away to you, it’s human nature to want to join in, share your thoughts, experiences and feelings, because that surely means it’s a good two-way conversation and the other person will obviously feel better knowing that you’ve been there too, you’ve done that thing or felt that way. Won’t they? Technically, you are listening, but it’s only really at a very surface level. To listen deeply is a skill. As a coach, I have been trained to listen and believe it or not there are three levels to listening. The first is often referred to as conversational or internal listening which is when we are pretty much focused on ourselves, our inner voice, considering our own agenda and only half hearing what the other person is saying. This level of listening comes naturally and most of us remain here unless we become intentional with our listening. The second level is focused listening. At this level you are focused on the other person, their ideas, thoughts and feelings, you are actively paying attention. We probably find ourselves more motivated to listen, depending on who we are with! The highest level of listening, which few people can do without intentional practice, is referred to as global listening. This is not just about paying attention to what someone n Victoria Arnold is a life coach from Wimborne Victoriaarnold.co.uk

is saying, but also what they mean and what isn’t being said. It’s about feeling the energy of someone, looking for subtle clues that aren’t always obvious; the pause, the shift in body language, the tone of voice, it’s about being open to receive more information in any form that it presents itself, not only the conversation but the environment too. Maybe you’re now wondering how good a listener you really are? Remember, you can hear through your ears, but you also need to listen with your eyes! Imagine you own a million pound racehorse. Wow. Lucky you! I bet you’d be super proud, look after and care for it. You’d make sure it had the best food, was exercised properly and took plenty of rest. You’d keep up to date with vet appointments and the slightest suggestion of a pain or niggle, you’d get it looked at. You’d want it to have the highest possible chance of performing at its best. In short, you’d look after it, right? Why wouldn’t you? It’s a really valuable investment. Now imagine you are your own million pound racehorse. That might sound silly at first, but of course you are! Your health and fitness is priceless to you. Treat yourself more like that prize thoroughbred. Looking after ourselves doesn’t need to be as costly as a racehorse; it’s the simple things like prioritising eating some healthy food, getting enough rest, taking some daily exercise and looking after your health the best you can. These are incredibly valuable things to do. If we think of our health as a lifelong project, there is rarely anything as important. Taking responsibility for our health doesn’t mean that when something goes wrong, that it is our fault, or that the care we took wasn’t worthwhile; it just means that we’re choosing to do something about it and improving our odds. That in itself is empowering. If it still feels indulgent or silly, remember how priceless you are to your loved ones. We are worth so much to them. If you have caring responsibilities for others, then it’s really important to look after ourselves. It’s like when you’re taking a flight (remember going on airplanes?) and the air steward tells you to put your own oxygen mask on first, before you try to help others fit theirs. This is good advice for life; if we don’t look after ourselves, our ability to look after others is diminished. Perhaps taking some time to look after ourselves doesn’t seem so selfish now, but an act of kindness. Next time you find you’re Katrina Keeling is a Wimborne-based Personal Trainer. She coaches at WOW Ladies Fitness and independently. kkfitness.co.uk kkeelingfitness@gmail.com

about to do something that you know isn’t great for your health and wellbeing, whisper to yourself a reminder: ‘I’m my own million pound racehorse’ and adjust your actions accordingly.

Child mental health service expanding

by Lorraine Gibson

Early intervention can be incredibly beneficial to aiding the recovery of anyone suffering with mental health issues. However, for younger people, having to be referred by their GP can be a very slow process. Addressing this and to further support struggling youngsters, Dorset HealthCare is expanding its Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (Camhs) Gateway. Launched in Christchurch, Bournemouth and Poole just over a year ago, the Gateway makes it easier and faster for 16- to 18-year olds to ask for help and so far it’s been accessed by more than 2,000 of them. Now it’s been rolled out to support young people across the whole of Dorset giving them the option to self-refer themselves online, without going through their GP. The service provides prompt assessments and – where appropriate – early interventions to help with issues such as depression, anxiety, isolation and selfimage. Clare Hurley, Dorset HealthCare’s head of Camhs, said: “It’s been a challenging and disruptive couple of years for young people, and we are delighted to make the Camhs Gateway available across the whole county. “Often a brief, early intervention when someone is feeling low or struggling with a problem can help that person recover and prevent a more serious deterioration in their mental health. “And by enabling young people to refer themselves directly, we hope this will encourage them to manage their mental health and seek professional support if they need it.” One user of the service said: “Using the Gateway was an excellent positive experience for me, and a huge step forward for my recovery.” Camhs offers various services to children and young people. To find out more about the Gateway plus other CAMHS services that do require a professional referral, visit camhsdorset.org. For Gateway enquiries, email dhc.camhsgateway. admin@nhs.net or phone 0300 0191 770.