Yak Magazine: October 2018 Issue by UON Student Central

FREE! Issue 47 // November 2018 By Students, for Students

THE ORIGIN OF HALLOWEEN

WEIRD THINGS HOUSEMATES DO

OVERWORKED & UNDERPAID

Trivia, Crossword Puzzle, Comics, Horoscopes, Sports & much MORE!

Yak Magazine // November 2018

Yak Magazine // May 2018

YAK

MAGAZINE The November Issue

Yak would like to acknowledge the Pambalong clan of the Awabakal people, and the Darkinjung people, traditional custodians of the land in which Yak is made and distributed. We pay respect to elders, past and present.

Cover â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sim Hamisi Designed by:

EDITOR’S LETTER Apocalypse. That was the word thrown out in a weekly Yak meeting when planning this issue. The end. It means something different for many members of the team. For our graduating editors, it relates to the scary prospect of ‘the real world’. For our continuing editors, it means digesting more time as a student. For all of us, and many of you, it relates to facing the final

Shed a tear for the fallen penis tower in Ode to a Longstanding Solid Member of Newcastle. Pick a side of the argument in a heated Mass Debate over separating laundry into colours (a very heated argument in my house) or take a history lesson and learn about the Ghosts & Guises: The Origin of Halloween.

exams and assessments of the year.

But most of all I hope you laugh, weep, and learn along with us in this issue, our final issue

For me, it means the end of my time as Managing

of the year. It has been a pleasure editing this

Editor of Yak Magazine.

amazing magazine for the last six issues. I’ve

It’s not all going down in a fiery blaze though,

had the pleasure of reading some fantastic work, and am so proud of student media. A personal

this issue is full of not only apocalyptic pieces (although this month’s Dear Yak is not to be missed by graduating students), there’s also some bittersweet moments, and some on-trend spooky shit.

We are Yak Media: the University of Newcastle’s student media channel, run by UON students. Our three platforms: Yak Magazine, Yak Online, and Yak TV – are run by dedicated teams of students. Yak works hard to bring you stories covering all aspects of student life, from health and wellbeing, to travel and entertainment, to politics and study tips. Let us know if you have any suggestions for story ideas, or if you would like to get involved.

thank you to the incredible team of editors and designers who work so hard to create Yak, a magazine made by students, for students. From Mon and the Yak Team, x

Submissions The Yak editorial team is always on the look out for passionate student writers and graphic designers to contribute to the blog and magazine. If you would like to take the opportunity to get your work published, please send a sample of your writing or graphic design work to:

yakmedia@newcastle.edu.au

Stay connected

www.yakatuon.com facebook.com/YakMedia twitter.com/YakMedia instagram.com/YakMedia yakmedia@newcastle.edu.au

UON

Printed by PrintCentre on Callaghan Campus. Yak Media is SSAF funded.

HAVE YOUR YAK

EDITORIAL TE AM

Monique Aganovic

Elizabeth Symington

Marcie Cheers

Jack Moran

Managing Editor (Mag)

Deputy Managing Editor

Managing Editor (Online)

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Heath Ledger

Princess Diana

Mary Shelley

Nadene Budden

Angelique Carr

Arlya Tuckey

Camilla Lian

Promotions Coordinator

Editor

Rihanna

The first person ever

Madonna

J.K. Rowling

Hannah Simmons

Monique Smith

Shea Evans

Editor

Noah Centineo

Malala Yousafzai

Shakespeare

Neil Armstrong

Claire Ince

â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you could have a drink with anyone in history, who would it be?â&#x20AC;?

Nikola Jokanovic

Amy Lewis

Alice Kjoller

Editor/Photographer

Lead Graphic Designer

Graphic Designer

Russell Coight

Dalai Lama

Mac Miller

Jassmin Mihell

Sim Hamisi

Graphic Designer

Princess Diana

Martin Luther King

Contributors: Emily Bell If you would like to contribute, email: yakmedia@newcastle.edu.au

Bonita Maher Graphic Designer Van Gogh

GETTIN’ PERSONAL WITH A DESIGNER Meet Sim Hamisi, design wizard and kebab enthusiast. 1. What degree are you doing?

4. What is your biggest inspiration?

I’m studying Visual Communication Design.

Pinterest.

2. What do you wanna be when you grow up?

5. What important historical figure do you reckon you could clean up in a game of table tennis?

Despite my friends rather wrong opinions, I’d say I’m pretty much grown up. But what I’ve always wanted to be was a professional footballer

Stevie Wonder, since my hand to eye coordination

(soccer, to the uncultured).

is non-existent. Don’t judge me I need all the help I can get.

3. Two-part question: what is your favourite condiment, and what is an

6. What’s the worst goddamn movie you’ve

underrated condiment?

ever seen?

Is it sad that I had to look that up? Anyway, my fav condiment probably is sweet chilli.

I have two equally at the bottom of the barrel. The Scorpion King and Batman and Robin.

I know, I’m basic.

Utter trash.

*Slaps roof of Barbecue sauce* this baby can be added to a plate of sand and it’d still taste godly.

7. Best and worst things about UON? Best thing: Have you seen some of the facilities

That’s how underrated BBQ sauce is.

Photo by: Junhan Yang

Yak Yak Magazine Magazine // // November 2018

STUDENT SCENES When you’re down and out after not scoring

and tech we get to use (mostly) for free? Some of it is literally world class, and the people are

a UON Love Letter AGAIN.

nice too I guess.

Claire: To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018). Peter Kavinsky is the ultimate cure for

Worst thing: Uni you need to calm the hell down with your irrational parking fines like

all heartbreak. Also, love letters don’t always

damn, I’m already paying away half of my life’s

work in your favour, so don’t worry.

worth away in enrolment. Then paying $7.50 for a meal? Don’t you get it uni? I’M BROKE...

Elizabeth: Brave (2012). Write your own letter,

or just stingy, I don’t know anymore.

shoot for your own damn hand.

8. What is your favourite fast food franchise,

Nikola: Punch Drunk Love (2002). Adam Sandler

and what do you think this says about you?

plays a painfully awkward loser who finally finds love after years of alienation and despondency.

In terms of franchise, used to be Nandos but

You’ll be able to relate (or one day, at least)!

Grill’d for the win now. But In terms of food? A

PSA: this movie might be a little ‘too real’, so take it easy.

kebab. Feed me a kebab and I’ll treasure you. This means, just like a mildly toasted kebab, I

When you’re having withdrawals because the

might look a little crusty or whatever outside but once you get to know me, I’m actually delicious and friendly on the inside.

Bakehouse ran out of pies and choccy milk.

9. Which cartoon character do you relate

Drink some Yakult instead.

Claire: To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018).

to most?

Elizabeth: Patch Adams (1998). The only thing to help you get over this is time; watching this

If Spongebob and Squidward had a baby, I’d be that baby. Somewhere between those two.

will give you a valid reason to cry.

10. Write an emoji poem about yourself.

Nikola: Matilda (1996). You can go straight to the scene where the evil teacher forces the kid to eat cake for the intended effect of reminding you that gluttony is a sin but the rest of the movie is pretty good too.

DEAR YAK How do I cope with graduating? The Level-Headed Approach – Nadene

option speaks to your soul. The first semester

Firstly, dear reader, it is important to assess

you find yourself constantly thinking, ‘My fucking god, I need to get out of here and start

your situation. How many years have you

earning money for what I’m doing’ and only

been studying at uni? Three? Five? Nine…ty

searching for paid positions in seek.com’s

thousand million?

search bar, it’s safe to say you’re ready.

Maybe you’ve completed an internship here

The Denial Approach – Jack

and a placement there, and all of this on top of a fancy and expensive piece of paper starts

Listen, I know you’re scared about leaving uni.

looking pretty good on a resume.

I know you’re worried about the big bad world

Lastly, when you boil it down, is there anything

out there; so am I. I’m terrified. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I’m literally crying right

left for you to get out of uni? It’s one thing

now. Luckily, however, I have a solution to all

to regret missing out on studying one really cool elective, but if you have chunks of your

your anxieties about closing the chapter of your life that is your university experience.

brain or heart still yearning to be educated af in one particular area, you may find yourself haunting Bar On The Hill, yearning for

It’s simple. Just don’t do it. Never leave.

remnants of that #unilife.

Do an Honours year! Already done that? Do

A huge part of all our lives for the last

a PhD! Or a Master’s! Didn’t get the marks for that and worried that will be too different? Do

few years has been spent writing papers,

a diploma. Heck, do a whole other degree.

frantically reading textbooks into the morning, and going (or not) to class, so feeling anxious

Every family has one member who is a perpetual student, right? Why can’t that be

about working nine to five or struggling to find

you? You don’t have to make any decisions

work is understandable. But at some point

about a career if you’re constantly studying.

we all have to grow and move on. Now, that could be right now or maybe you do want to

You’ll be too focused on getting your seventh bachelor’s degree to even notice that all your

stay and pick up another post-grad course,

friends have found their dream jobs and are

and I’m sure you’ll have an idea of which

living their best lives.

Yak Magazine // November 2018

And if the thought of doing another

All uni students reach this point in their life,

assessment has you just as freaked out, then

you are not alone, most of the people in your

no fear. Just build a hut in the middle of the bushland on campus, live in it, and become

classes will be finishing at the same time as you and they are likely feeling a similar way.

your own UON urban legend. Who needs a

Spend time with them and talk about how

job when people are debating whether you actually exist?

you are all feeling, maybe they have some sage advice or a plan you could tweak and make your own. If you know someone who

The Emotional Approach– Elizabeth

has already graduated have a chat with them, they’ve been through it and come out the

Cry.

other side, they’ll be able to show what life is like after graduating.

One of the greatest and most important chapters of your life is about to close… let

Now that you’ve let your tears and emotions

your emotions out, don’t hold them in. If you are happy to be finishing, let everyone know,

out, there are so many options for you to consider after graduating. You could travel,

or if you are terrified about your future, voice

gain employment in your field or take on

your concerns. By letting your emotions out,

another degree at uni. You need to make sure

they won’t follow you into your next endeavour and you don’t have to suffer and stress alone.

you make the most of them and ‘shoot your shot’ to give yourself a chance. The greatest mistake you can make is hold yourself back out of fear.

Image by unsplash.com

Yak Magazine // November 2018

RESIDENTIAL MENTORS & STUDENT LIVING: OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID Are resident mentors being paid enough for the round-the-clock work they perform? Marcie Cheers and Monique Aganovic investigate.

Yak Magazine // November 2018

Student Living could be facing a big problem. Some student employees believe they are

House, and Barahineban. These colleges each have their own culture and understanding of

overworked and underpaid.

university life. Student Living is responsible for ensuring these colleges have access to amenities and support. Along with providing

UON is home to a thriving college community. The college culture at UON may not be evident

colleges with social activities and access to

at first to students who live off-campus, but take

facilities (like pools and rec rooms), Student Living also employs Residential Mentors (RMs).

a step into the hallowed halls of Evatt House, or Barahineban and witness the friendships forged, and the rich history of the colleges come

There are sixty-four RMs on the team who

to life. Despite the rich culture, college life is

are students themselves, living on campus in

not something everyone can fall into easily. Living out of home with a lot of people and in a

college. The RM system works in a buddy- cop way. Two RMs look after one area together and

place that can be not-so-private takes a lot of

each duo is identified to those residents as their

emotional and physical adjusting. When you add in the drinking lifestyle that is so celebrated

biggest supports. RMs are intended to provide emotional support for their residents, as well

in Australia, and particularly within Australian

as be a college guide for new residents, and the

youth, you end up with college students who are often young, vulnerable, and in need of support.

first port of call for all residents. According to the University website, RMs “form an integral part of the Student Living team” and are considered “role

This is where UON Student Living comes into

models within the Student Living Community”. As an RM you can expect to be responsible for

play. Across Callaghan campus there are eight residences: North, South, East, and West Towers,

a range of services – anything from helping

Edwards Hall (Teds), International House, Evatt

with admin chores (like a lost student card) to

Yak Magazine // November 2018

easing someone who is missing home back

week, despite claiming that they are on call 24/7.

into college life.

“This is a 24/7 job. You are on call all the time, any

But that is not all an RM can expect to do. RMs may also be placed into high-stake management

time of the day or night,” says our anonymous interviewee. When discussing whether or not

situations. One former RM who wishes to

the pay accurately reflects the workload, they

remain anonymous, told Yak that RMs are also responsible for managing any incidents on their

said, “Not at all. We get paid five hours of work a week, and that is nowhere near enough for

floor, which may include mental health issues,

what we do.”

sexual assault disclosures, and anxiety attacks or psychotic episodes.

Danial Cornall, an RM at Teds says “You get paid for five hours work, but you’re always on call. If

“We get paid five hours of work a week, and that is nowhere near enough for what we do.”

anyone comes to you at any time you have to work.” Danial also says that the amount of work an RM does per week changes, “It depends on each week, in O-Week you’re doing more than

“It feels like [the residents] are your family and

five hours but some quiet weeks you’ll only do

you want them to be happy,” they said. “Sexual assault disclosures are particularly hard on all

the five.” For Student Living, they believe the contribution

involved… Even though you know you’re helping, these situations are incredibly draining and

RMs make to their team are extremely valuable, “It is something I am unsure we could ever put a

physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing.”

dollar amount on, similar to the contributions of

They say that despite the helpful extensive two-week training RMs must undergo at the

student clubs and societies in terms of student life – it is priceless.”

beginning of the year, the most difficult part of the job is how it affects you personally.

But for most RMS, the hard work is worth it for the friendships they form. RMs forge strong

Jamie-Lee Costa, a Student Living representative agrees that the role of an RM is hard work

bonds with their residents and UON colleges thrive on competition and camaraderie.

and highly revered, “The role of a Residential Mentor is demanding, at times stressful and very dynamic. That being said, there is no wonder

“A Residential Mentor is very much regarded as the pinnacle of student leadership for on campus students.”

that being a Residential Mentor is very much regarded as the pinnacle of student leadership for on campus students.” So how do these students balance their own

“The best part of the job is taking more

studies, social lives, mental health and job? Well,

responsibility and having a connection with

the recent months have had one RM resign before the end of the year and several RMs

Student Living…things you don’t like you get to raise your voice about it and improve it.”

work more than one job in order to sustain a

Danial said,

living wage as they only get paid for five hours a

Yak Yak Magazine Magazine // November // October 2018

“I think it’s good also making a big difference in

they are trying their best but it’s hard because

people’s year…you can see the impact you have

we are coming from two different places, one

on groups, and making sure they have the best year they can.”

of students and one of an employer.”

But this fun and these friendships aren’t cutting

Student Living, RMs, and the University? Our

it for some. “I enjoy the good times and hate the bad times,” our anonymous interviewee said. “If

anonymous former RM believes that UON needs to provide Student Living with more funding.

So what can be done to bridge the gap between

I could turn back time, I would not accept the

“I think more funding needs to come from the

RM job offer.” “I’m happy I was an RM this year, but I’m not

university to fund the Student Living department,” they said. “The role of an RM is so important

sure I would do it again next year” Danial says.

because often they are the only member of staff that residents feel comfortable talking

So how was the RM work model developed?

to, and in my experience, we have helped multiple residents to stay in their degree with

Student Living asserts that paid roles were important when employing RMs, rather than

our support. The University is disconnected

rent reduction benefits that some universities

from the Student Living department and this is impacting RMs incredibly with a flow on effect

offer. “We partner this amount with many opportunities for personal and professional

to the roughly 1800 residents living at on campus accommodation”.

development and a training program which we receive overwhelmingly positive feedback about.” Danial acknowledges the efforts put into training by Student Living, “I think they do a good job with training and events, they’re very generous in that way.” To our anonymous interviewee however, this seems like an unfair wage to work output. “I think many RMs are feeling undervalued and disillusioned with the position,” they said. “The effort they put in isn’t equal to the pay or appreciation they receive. It makes more sense at this stage to put your own interests first when you have spent the rest of the year putting effort into everyone else.” Danial agrees that, despite the positives, there are some issues with the RM model. “Sometimes there can be a build-up of things, and miscommunication between what happens and what Student Living are thinking…I think

GHOSTS AND GUISES: THE ORIGIN OF HALLOWEEN

Aryla Tuckey explores the harrowed history of Halloween When you think of Halloween you might think of witches and ghouls, trick-or-treating, carved

Halloween originated in ancient Ireland over 2000 years ago. It was a Celtic festival of

pumpkins and scary movies. In Australia you

Samhain (pronounced sow-in) which is Gaelic

might rather think of an opportunity to dress up and have a party. What is the history behind

for â&#x20AC;&#x153;summer endsâ&#x20AC;? and was celebrated on November 1st, the beginning of the new year. It was the start of winter, a time of the year that

this holiday?

was often bitter, difficult, and related to death.

Yak Yak Magazine Magazine // November // October 2018

It was believed that on the night before Samhain,

became combined into a single holiday now

October 31st, the veil between the living and the

known as Halloween.

dead was blurred, and the ghosts of the dead could walk the earth. These otherworldly beings

long bitter winter.

It was believed that on the night before Samhain, October 31st, the veil between the living and the dead was blurred, and the ghosts of the dead could walk the earth.

On the night of Samhain, also known as All

Halloween migrated to America in the late 1800s

were thought to be responsible for the destroying of crops and property. But it also marked a time where druids would be able to prophecy and see the future, giving the people some hope for the

when a wave of Irish immigrants moved from Ireland to escape detrimental effects of the

Hallows Eve, druids would build massive bonfires and burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the

potato famine and brought their traditions with

Celtic deities to honour the dead and protect the

them including trick-or-treating, apple bobbing, dressing up and carving pumpkins. Trick-or-

living. People would then light their own hearths with these fires to help protect them through

treating originated in medieval times from the

the winter. People would dress up in costumes and masks as a masquerade to blend in with the otherworldly beings.

traditions of ‘souling’ and ‘guising’. The first was when the poor and those in need would disguise

When the Romans took over the Celtic lands and

for food in exchange for prayers for the dead and the latter in exchange for poetry or singing.

themselves and knock on people’s doors and beg

ruled for 400 years, they combined the festival of Samhain with two of their own traditions. The first was Feralia, a day in October dedicated to

The tradition became more about pranking your neighbours, but developed into a dangerous

commemorating the dead and the second was

holiday in the early 1900s as vandalism became more prevalent. After this time, the holiday was

a day to honour Pomona, the goddess of fruit and trees. Pomona’s symbol is the apple and

changed to be family and children oriented and

was the origin of apple bobbing. Apple bobbing was originally used for fortune telling.

developed into modern day Halloween.

During the Middle Ages, Christianity came to the area. They changed the celebration of

According to the old folklore, it is a time to commune with the dead and to protect yourself for the coming winter. In today’s era, it is a

Samhain which was considered to be a pagan

festivity of celebrating the macabre and eating

festival with satanic influence into All Saints

too many sweets.

Day or Hallowmans. This day was set aside to remember the saints and martyrs of the faith and the night before, All Hallows Eve is now what we consider Halloween. The pope utilised the fact that both celebrations were on the same day to encourage new followers to join the church celebrations. As time went on the two celebrations influenced each other and

Image by unsplash.com

Yak Magazine // November 2018

Claudia Rodwell competing at the 2017 Australian University Games tournament on the Gold Coast.

Designed Photos by:by: Hannah Simmons

Yak Magazine // November 2018

NEWCASTLE’S RISING NETBALL SENSATION

Hannah Simmons sits down with primary school teacher and netball talent Claudia Rodwell to talk all things netball. It’s no secret, Australia has some of the best net

“I’ve learnt to try to balance study with sport

ballers in the world. The league is only growing

which involves a lot of calendar planning and

stronger, proven even more so after the first two seasons of the Suncorp Super Netball. As

sometimes stress… but sport is my escape from study, so I use it as motivation to get my

a sport, netball is on the rise, and this comes

assignments done.”

from having a strong elite national team and elite competition for young girls and boys to look up and aspire to.

Rodwell, a University Games veteran, will head up to the Gold Coast during the mid-semester

The University of Newcastle’s (UON) Claudia Rodwell has been around the game for 13 years

University Games tournament for UON’s women’s netball side.

break to compete in what will be her fifth

and doesn’t look like slowing up anytime soon.

Rodwell explains the changes she’s seen and

Based on the Central Coast, Rodwell was a part

experienced over the course of her time since

of the Central Coast Metro League team this season, with her side placing fourth in division

her involvement at the start of 2016. “Uni games is now just a split national

two. Her commitment for this involves travelling to Sydney once a week to compete in the Metro

tournament with Division Two held at the start of July and Division One at the end of September.

League competition held at Genea Netball

Both tournaments are held on the Gold Coast

Central at Sydney Olympic Park.

in Queensland.

Alongside her sporting commitments, Rodwell is currently in her third year studying a Bachelor of Education (Primary) at the Ourimbah campus.

Claudia Rodwell (second from right) with fellow UON teammates.

“When I first began Uni Games, the July

Being around the sport for so long, Rodwell says

tournament was Eastern Uni Games and you had to place in the top two to progress to Nationals.”

the friendships and memories she has created is what she loves most about it.

The 20-year-old says the women’s UON side is

“Being a part of such a strong, positive team

quite competitive this year and have put in a lot of preparation leading into the tournament.

environment while playing the sport you love with different people from different degrees that you’ve met through the games is a really

“We are in a pool with five other teams and

rewarding process.

play two games on the Monday and Tuesday and then if we win our pool, we go straight to

“Our team over the past three years have

the semi-finals on Wednesday with the final to

achieved some amazing results with a few

follow on Thursday.

medals along the way and the friendships I have gained are ones I will treasure forever.”

“Our team is aiming for a top-five finish as we placed sixth last year at this tournament. Our

With only a year to go until the completion of

goals are to play our best netball as a team and

her degree, Rodwell says her aspirations for the

of course, have fun!”

coming years, both on and off the court, involve her, “staying involved with the UON netball team and becoming the best netball player I can be.”

Yak Magazine // November 2018

MR BRIGHT SIDE By Jack Moran Between having a drink spilled on me and

of the Jamaican Bobsled Team. So the party

accidentally starting the apocalypse, this was turning out to be the worst Halloween party I’d

didn’t even have a lack of black-face going for it anymore.

ever been to.

Without thinking I rushed in and pushed the girl

It had started well enough. The bus there

away from her would-be victim, scattering the

had been on time. My zombie costume was well-received considering the little amount of

salt circle as I did. She looked at me, eyes wide and full of horror.

effort I’d put into it. Nobody was in black-face.

“What have you done?” she asked, as if she hadn’t

It was shaping up to be a fun night until they started playing Mr Brightside by The Killers and someone’s vigorous dance moves caused a domino effect of drunks that resulted in a full cup of goon being thrown at me. After telling the apologetic goon-drinker it was fine and watching her immediately go back to shouting along to Brandon Flowers’ vocals, I went in search of somewhere to wash off. I headed back inside and tried different doors, hoping to find an unoccupied bathroom. Instead I found a human sacrifice. At least, that’s what I thought it was. Candles were everywhere, chanting was going on, and there were six people in the room, one of whom was a guy in a Joker costume laying inside a salt pentagram on the ground. Kneeling over the Joker with a knife at his throat was a girl in a potentially insensitive sexy witch costume. Holding the Joker down was all four

Yak Magazine // November 2018

been the one about to sacrifice a guy poorly dressed as Jared Leto’s edgelord Joker. When

room, no doubt to go battle the demon that I

I said as much she looked affronted.

sure to kill me and everyone I know.

“This isn’t a human sacrifice, you idiot,” she

As I said, it was the worst Halloween party I’ve

hissed. “This is an exorcism!”

been too. Definitely in the bottom three, at least.

had accidentally allowed into the world and was

Before I could ask the precise difference, I felt the temperature drop in the room and I found myself thrown sideways as the Joker I had been basically sitting on pushed me and the Jamaican Bobsled team off him with more strength than such a weedy hipster would normally be capable of. I looked back and saw the Joker sit up, his pale skin quickly shifting to red as horns burst forth from his temples. “Thank you, mortal,” he said in a voice that reverberated around the room and made my skin crawl like a panic attack. A forked tongue darted from his mouth to lick his lips. “At last I am free to rule this world.” Thunder rumbled in the cloudless sky outside as the demon edgelord Joker stood, growing in size till his horns were just touching the ceiling. One of the Jamaican Bobsled team roused himself enough to try and pull the demon back. As soon as he touched him, there was a popping sound and he dissolved before our eyes, leaving nothing but his bobsled costume and a mass of black sludge that I assumed was the remnants of his body paint. The demon walked through the wall, sending plasterboard flying as the sound of screams and popping began to erupt from the rest of the party. The witch pulled herself up off the ground, a surly look on her face. “Nice going, dumbass,” she said as she left the

Yak Magazine // November 2018

ODE TO A LONGSTANDING SOLID MEMBER OF NEWCASTLE By Shea Evans Thirty years of golden life

Was to sell apartment views

Have reached a flaccid end

Everyone who conspired against

Our tower was not spared the knife Despite its lengthy stand

Is nothing but a wank For now they smile and collect the rents

So know this poem has been written

And laugh gaily to the bank

To the tower and its assassins I know it may seem like I’m kiddin’

No sight in this city

But it contains important lessons.

Was as good as Queen’s Wharf’s top So why else would they act so shitty

The horror of your circumcision Will not be forgot by me

And give our cock the chop? Blatant hypocrisy rules with dread

And the evil of this ill-decision

If we don’t regard this fact

Has pissed on history A curse on all who cursed you

That slicing off that bulbous head Was a government terrorist act

A curse on all who laughed A curse on all who hurt you And ripped away my shaft

Last year they cut away the bridge Its vas deferens were severed Just like the snip which prevents kids

You were only meant to stand a few But you became a treasure

And now it’s been beheaded

The same of the Eiffel Tower’s true

Your callousness I deplore it

And now it’s here forever On the final night of your existence

And hold you all at fault You ought to be reported

I scaled your rifled rod

For structural assault

As did others with persistence Though our dreams and hopes were shod.

Not asking us was pure disgrace And it causes me to frown

Now I have classified information

It was a giant turkey slap in the face

A secret just for you The purpose of emasculation

When you cut our tower down Res-erect it to make us smile

Yak Magazine // November 2018

Like Lazarus come forth

So lets make a stand and hold our ground

But this time with a sundial And a compass pointing north.

Against authoritative cuts For with no more penis tower around You know what’s next? Your nuts.

The old Newcastle is lying dead Your childhood memory rusted And it has been replaced instead With a greedish piggy masthead When will enough remain enough Can progress overreach? Is anybody safe as such With our penis now deceased? A stalwart of our town is gone Lost to progressive greed From all our hearts it has been torn In our greatest hour of need Where a friendly tower once stood tall Vengeance instead now stands To those in power who made the callYou’ve got dick blood on your hands If the tower was a human His rights would have been protected Please forgive me for assumin’ But only men can be erected We were founded as a penal camp So what’s with the aversion? That tower was our city’s stamp And now we look like virgins. A city sized vasectomy Has left us all quite shaken At the decision of the NCC And the action they have taken Where was the community consult? Is my one true burning question And what will you do given this result When they come for your erection?

MASS Elizabeth and Claire go head to head over a Very Important Adult Question…should you separate your laundry into colour-coded loads? YES – Claire

the incredible deficit on your bank account,

Here’s the thing, as students the status of the

supporting return on your investment, and lessening your contribution to landfill.

economic portion of our lives is likely verging on crisis. We have countless expenses to keep up with, and this leaves little to no room in

And last but not least, while the societal norms surrounding clothing are questionable at the best of times, it cannot be denied that

our budgets for pieces of woven polyester to shield us from the elements and eyes of the general public.

whether you’re into fashion or not, the clothes

So my question to you, dear opponent, is this; if you could reduce the necessity of spending

raggedy hoodie or full business attire, all items

that you choose to wear contribute to defining your identity. Whether we’re talking about a

your hard earned cash on clothing, why

of clothing provide you with support in some way, so giving them the respect that they’ve

wouldn’t you?

rightfully earned shouldn’t be too much to ask.

The vast benefits of sparing approximately

And my dear, if you still aren’t convinced based

5 extra minutes doing laundry far outweighs what I presume you will argue to be a negative

on the fact that you just “can’t be bothered”, I have one small tip that will change your life.

(that negative being the extra ‘effort’). Separate your clothes as you remove them. For starters, you won’t be faced with the infamous ‘marshmallow’ dilemma, in which all

Whether you’re on team ‘dirty clothes basket’

of your white clothing items are infiltrated and

or team ‘pile’, the process is simple; just head

destroyed by the presence of that stupid red sock that you never knew you owned.

down to Hot Dollar and invest in a second basket, or start a new pile beside your other one. Hey presto, the job is done.

Secondly, your light and dark clothing alike will remain crisp, fresh, and new-looking for

And if you still can’t bear to be open minded and spare the millisecond it takes to try this

a prolonged period of time, thus reducing

Yak Magazine // November 2018

DEBATE

Byline - Medium Italic 15pt (only a guide) new and improved method, I have absolutely

someone did it wrong. By not separating my

nothing left to say to you (unless of course you

clothes I am saving myself from the potential

can only afford to do one load of washing per week, in which case I apologise and hope that

breakdown a basket mix-up could cause, plus I am being conscious about my footprint on the planet. Saving water is essential, especially in

things improve for you).

this drought. NO – Elizabeth My piece of advice is if you are worried a So, to start I am going to hit you in the face with some facts! The average load of washing

colour is going to run and ruin your favourite

(depending on machine type, whether it is a

outfit, chuck it in a delicates bag. I can’t scientifically prove that this works but it puts

top loader or front loader) uses between 60

an extra layer between the item and the other

and 130 litres of water per wash…PER WASH (Act Smart, 2015), and if you are separating

colours, it’s basically fool proof. Or take it to the next level…wear one colour, by doing this your fear of colour running will be cured and

your clothes into darks, lights and colours you are tripling the amount of water you use. My opinion is the only reason you separate your

your water usage will drop, plus everything you own will match.

clothes into their different colour group is because you have a deep running hatred for

Love and care for the planet by washing all

the planet…or you have the time in your week

your clothes together, I think you’ll be amazed by how much money and time you save.

and money in your bank account to wash, dry, and fold two extra loads of washing. I can understand doing separate loads for towels, sheets, and ultra-dirty work clothes (hello coal miners) but separating clothes by colour is just too much effort. I know some of you, like my beloved opponent, probably have specially labelled dirty clothes baskets in your bedrooms or bathrooms, showing you where to put your different colours but who has the time and money for that? I don’t know about you but it would also set me off if

WEIRD THINGS HOUSEMATES DO The Yak team pulled together some of the weirdest things theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen their housemates do...we all need to move

Maintain unbroken eye contact whilst wiping their ass with the toilet door open

Drain a boil on a cream-coloured sofa

Spontaneously combust

Yak Magazine // November 2018

STUDENT SOUNDS WITH NIKOLA: WET HOT NEWY SUMMER

Drop the cheese dip they just scooped and then proceed to eat it off of the ground with a chip

It’s almost time for that three-month post-semester siesta. Yak’s music stooge Nikola Jokanovic picks four suitable albums for four summertime situations. SURFIN’ – Sonic Youth, Goo This album is exactly the kind of effortless cool certain kooks try and muster by playing up the fact that they surf. “Oh yeah I surf haha, didn’t you know?” ROADTRIPPIN’ – The Avalanches, Wildflower A cheery-but-wistful collage of summery sounds. Evokes driving up the coast for five hours by yourself with your favourite shades on and the windows down. PARTYIN’ – Friendly Fires, Self-Titled It’s like being drunk at a party with all your best friends. Will make you dance with your soul. JUST CHILLIN’ – The KLF, Chill Out A weird ambient sound collage album sampling everything from Elvis Presley & Tuvan throat singing, to Van Halen and cows mooing (literally). Listen on a

Stack the toilet paper from floor to

hot, humid night with the windows open

ceiling in one big tower

for full effect.

U-ON FLEEK In this edition of U-ON Fleek, Claire Ince chats to ‘Wannabe Cosplayer’ Meighan Winchester, on confidence, comfort, and shopping her parents’ wardrobes. You may not know her name, but you’ll certainly know her face. Meighan Winchester has an extremely unique sense of style, epic hair, and killer confidence to boot. Whether you’ve spotted her on campus or not, one thing’s for sure; you will not forget her. The best fashion advice I’ve ever received is: “To just have fun and do it for you! Wear the shirt if you like it. Cut those jeans if you want to. Just wear your COMFIEST old clothes if that’s what you want. Confidence is what really makes you stand out.” I find fashion inspiration from: “Alternative models from Instagram, and I also have a lot of love for the Harajuku scene. I also love seeing character designs since they’re based on embodying a character easily for the audience to interpret.”

“Confidence is what really makes you stand out.” My favourite article of clothing is: “It’s a tie between whatever torn up paintsplattered jeans I’m wearing this month, and my mismatched patch denim jacket that has no real aesthetic; just me adding whatever I want to it.”

Yak Magazine // November 2018

Name: Meighan Sue Winchester Age: 20 Degree: Creative Industries My style in three words: “Mismatched, lazy, mess.”

“Versatile and a little cheeky.”

My wardrobe is full of: “A box of random material, lots of graphic t

My best tip for shopping on a student budget is:

shirts, and some random dresses for when

“Second-hand stuff is your best friend. I grew

I’m too lazy to put an outfit together or when I need to look presentable.”

up relatively poor, so hand-me-downs were always a given and were like Christmas [gifts]

My favourite fashion trend is:

to me. I love seeing what random stuff I can

“I love crop tops with high-waisted fishnets

find at an op shop or what might be hiding in the back of my Mum or Dad’s wardrobe.

under ripped jeans! It’s cute and simple and doesn’t take a lot of effort so you can feel

My favourite place to shop is:

groovy about your body and not spend hours

“Kmart! I wish I could afford (or fit) the

trying to perfect a look. Plus, it’s versatile and

alternative brands that I follow but Kmart

a little cheeky!”

always has my back for cheap basics and

My LEAST favourite fashion trend is:

things that I can modify.”

“In all honesty I tend to be pretty open to most fashion since it can be such a personal thing!”

THIS OR THAT Target or Kmart? Jeans or Trousers? Designer or Thrifted? Solid or printed? Neutral or bright?

WHAT’S ON NOVEMBER/DECEMBER NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

2nd

Lawrence Mooney: An Evening With Malcolm Turnbull, The Art House Wyong

7th

Semester 2 results released Trimester 3 exams conclude

3rd

This That, Wickham Park Heaps Gay Newcastle, Lass O’Gowrie Hotel Lawrence Mooney: An Evening With Malcolm Turnbull, Newcastle City Hall

8th

Prada’s Priscillas Christas Revue, Civic Theatre

13th

Festival of the Sun begins, Breakwall Holiday Park Port Macquarie

6th

Melbourne Cup

14th

Semester 2 supplementary exams begin Trimester 3 results released

9th

Semester 2 concludes The Wharf Revue: Deja Revue, Civic Theatre

15th

Trimester 3 supplementary exams begin

10th

The Wharf Revue: Deja Revue, Civic Theatre

16th

Festival of the Sun concludes, Breakwall Holiday Park Port Macquarie

12th

Semester 2 exams begin

18th

Bill Bailey – Earl Of Whimsy, Newcastle Entertainment Centre

18th

Trimester 3 supplementary exams conclude

22nd

The End Party, Bar On The Hill

19th

Semester 2 supplementary exams conclude

23rd

Trimester 2 concludes

24th

Christmas Eve

29th

Trimester 3 exams begin

25th

Christmas Day

30th

Semester 2 exams conclude

26th

Boxing Day

31st

New Year’s Eve

Yak Magazine // November 2018

M O N T H LY

Monique Smith connects with the stars for this month’s horoscopes

January 20th to February 18th

February 19th to March 20th

If Britney can get through 2007, you can get through this month.

Dogs are better than people I agree, but you really should get out more.

March 21st to April 19th

April 20th to May 20th

“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!”

The signs have nothing to say about you this month Taurus. Try again next time.

May 21st to June 20th

June 21st to July 22nd

You will meet someone tall, dark and handsome this month. Lucky you.

That thing you thought you lost years ago? You’ll find it today. Hiding in plain sight.

Designed Photos from by: unsplash.com

Yak Magazine // November 2018

HOROSCOPES

July 23rd to August 22nd

August 23rd to September 22nd

Did you leave the straightener on this morning?

Today you will find $5. Spend it wisely.

September 23rd to October 22nd

October 23rd to November 21st

That spider you just killed? He had

STOP JUST WATCHING

a family and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re plotting their

YOUR PHONE RING.

revenge. Sleep with one eye open.

ANSWER IT SUSAN.

November 22nd to December 21st

December 22nd to January 19th

I know you just want to be backpacking

Stop spending all of your money

through Europe right now, but you have GOT to sort your life out Sagittarius.

on iced coffee, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re broke!

Yak Magazine // November 2018

YAK TRIVIA Shea Evans challenges you to question your knowledge with this month’s tricky trivia 1.

What is the name of the eldest brother in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov?

Who was the second Prime Minister of Australia?

What is our university motto?

How many countries are there in the world?

During the first World War, which disease killed more people than combat?

What is Cletus’ wife’s name in The Simpsons?

How many levels are there in University House?

Which 2006 Hollywood film did University House feature in?

In which ocean is the Mariana Trench?

10.

How many times was Novocastrian Mark Richards the world surfing champion?

7. Four 8. Superman Returns 9. The Pacific 10. Four 1. Dmitry 2. Alfred Deakin 3. I Look Ahead 4. 195 5. Spanish Flu 6. Brandine Del Roy

Trivia Answers:

Name: Yak Magazine // November 2018

Complete the crossword below 1

2 3

6 7

W CROSS R D

Created with TheTeac hers Co rner.net Cro s s wo rd Puz z le Generato r

cross

Down

ACROSS 3. Name o f Go dfrey Tanner's bicycle 4 . Mo zart's first name 3. Name of Godfrey Tanner’s bicycle 5 . Hellish regio n o f Middle Earth 6 . Largest planet4. inMozart’s o ur so larfirst system name 7 . Largest co untry o n earth 5. Hellish region of Middle Earth 8. What yo u sho uld be do ing 10 . Co untry where wild Yaks can be fo und 6. Largest planet in our solar system 11. Elo n Musk's astro nautics co mpany theLargest New Testament 13. First bo o k o f 7. country on earth

DOWN 1. Striped African animal 2. Fo und o n thermo meters and walls 1. Striped African animal 3. The capital o f Turkey's fo rmer name 9 . - 2. Ergo Sumon thermometers and walls Found 12. Warrio r princess

3. The capital of Turkey’s former name 9. - Ergo Sum 12. Warrior princess

8. What you should be doing 10. Country where wild Yaks can be found 11. Elon Musk’s astronautics company 13. First book of the New Testament 1. Zebra 2. Degrees 3. Constantinople 9. Cogito 12. Xena

DOWN:

11. SpaceX 13. Matthew

3. Charlotte 4. Wolfgang 5. Mordor 6. Jupiter 7. Russia 8. Studying 10. Nepal

Crossword Answers:

ACROSS:

Yak Magazine // November 2018

HOW TO RECYCLE ME Each year our university goes through 1,080 tonnes of waste. Do your part to minimise our impact on the environment by recycling and reusing me!

• Put me in the recycling bin At home you can put me in the bin with the yellow lid. On campus, bins for recycling paper and cardboard are blue bins or yellow bins. Look out for the “Be a good sort” poster to know what the bin recycles.

• Donate me Donate me to your local library, Salvos or doctor’s waiting room.

• Give me away Give me away for free on websites like Gumtree.com.au or Freecycle.org

• Get your craft on Turn me into something new! Organise a crafternoon with your friends or keep an eye out for events on campus through groups like NUSA or FEAST.

Yak Magazine // November 2018

PETER DUTTON HALLOWEEN MASK + KNIFE TO STAB PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Yak Magazine // November 2018

Issue 47 // November 2018